#when will i grow out of being an edgelord Probably Never

[gaykarstaagforever]

Heathers (1989)

"If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?"

"...Probably."

[TRIGGER WARNING: The movie is about murder, suicide, depression, anxiety and bullying, and it's a Rated-R movie from 1989, so SA is going to keep coming up. I'm going to be referencing all of that in this review. Also I'm a gay man and will be teasing people who have made this movie their personality, so tap out now if you and your cool vinyl collection can't deal with that.]

The movie starts as a fun black comedic take-down of saccharine 80s John Hughes teen romance movies. New-kid-in-school badboy edgelord JD, and repentant former wannabe cool girl Veronica, hook up and decide to live out the ultimate bullied nerd fantasy by getting revenge on Heather, Veronica's frenemy and leader of the Heathers, the most popular clique in school.

But when things go darker than Veronica planned, the comedic satire becomes a Shakespearean melodrama, as Veronica is suddenly confronted by the surreal consequences of what she's done, including realizing that the simplest solution to a problem may in fact make everything a hell of a lot worse.

I'm not going to spoil it for the 5 of you who haven't seen this yet. Everyone else (including me now) has seen it, as it is probably one of the most universally-popular Internet-culture movies there is. You've seen at least one meme from it.

Probably this one.

While a flop in 1989, it quickly became a cult movie on home media, even by the late 90s being one of those movies your older brother and his friends introduced you to to let you know they didn't think you were a lame stupid baby anymore. And it seems now with streaming it is still kind of in that spot, the older brothers with tapes being replaced by Gen X / Millennials posting about how cool it is in front of teenaged lurkers.

So how did I miss it? I WAS the older brother growing up, and I was 7 when it came out. And when I did go back and get into all the 80s movies I missed out on by being a toddler when they were new, I stumbled into the Hughes stuff, notably Pretty in Pink, which is fundamentally the movie Heathers is mocking. As cynical and jaded as I am, I'm also a fruitcake, so I love me some sappy sunny crap (if it's to a greater artistic point, which the Hughes movies are). What I knew of Heathers had me thinking it was merely a demonstration of pretentious anti "popular media" whining from the sort of people who wear outdated hats and are insufferable about punk music.

...And it totally is. But also, it's more than that. It's actually really good and smart and occasionally insightful, when it restrains itself from all the emo "I can be your devil or your angle" posturing. Which, to be fair, it also makes fun of. Before that was even a thing.

Christian Slater and Wynonna Rider have fantastic chemistry, and there's never enough of the two of them just enjoying each other's company. Even when they're arguing, it feels like a real couple going through something they'll almost certainly get over in a few hours (until they very much can't, and then they'll literally try to kill each other). Passion, is the word for it. Sardonic and low-key most of the time, but still passion. And that's always delightful.

It's well-shot and well-directed, with good uses of lighting and dynamic camera angles. There is a lot of scenes that are just two people talking, and it's never boring. Impressive for filmmakers who were, at the time, fresh-faced and working with a small budget. The style ends up being like if John Waters (no relation to Dan Waters, who wrote it) had directed Corman's Rock and Roll High School: goofy and surreal and sarcastic, but also willing to get dark and push boundaries to make a point.

All the characters - even joke side ones - are thoughtfully drawn, given emotional depth and realistic motivations, even when they're doing something stagey and broad in this highly stylized, Tim Burton-esque dark fairytale world. Wynonna Rider fought for the role against all advice, and it is perfectly in-line with the characters she played and the movies she played them in of this era, Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. Maybe even Bram Stoker's Dracula, if we're talking surreal melodramatic action-horror with disco lighting.

It is a movie with lots of big ideas (probably too many), but it manages to get those across effectively. What starts as a simple teenager revenge fantasy morphs into an armchair analysis of what America does to its children - instead of nurturing them and preparing them for the adult world, it points at them and gawks, and cashes in on their fear and self-loathing and predictable self-destruction. Everyone in the cruel high school world of Heathers is both a perpetrator and a victim, desperately fighting for survival by both submitting to abuse, and then immediately turning around and heaping it on someone "beneath" them. Death here isn't genuinely mourned or reflected upon; everyone simply starts plotting how they're going to exploit this new gap in the line. And whether the victims kill themselves or are murdered only matters as far as someone can spin that into self-promotion. Even the priest at the funeral (the late great Glenn Shadix, Beetlejuice again!) uses the supposed suicide of a child as an opportunity to make a ham-fisted youth-oriented alter call.

By the end of the movie, Veronica has triumphantly decided to rise up - not merely against the popular kids and exploitative / apathetic adults - but against the entire system of unending cruelty she didn't even know she was still playing a part in when she was actively attacking it. This finally sets her at odds with JD, who is too consumed by hatred to realize that the violence he thinks is a solution is fundamentally part of the problem.

And yet, as they come to blows, Veronica is also replaying the very same game that led her to become one of the Heathers in the first place, and then turn on them: use people to secure power, they use and hurt you, so you attack them. She knows the whole system is bad and broken and wants out, and seems to acknowledge the only way out is through earnest friendships and "growing out" of being shallow and petty. But by the end of the movie, despite her rebuke of JD...has she managed it? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe the system is inescapable, and all you can hope to do is find a way to force it to work for you. And choose then to make it less cruel. Maybe.

It's not a good or happy ending, it's just an ending. But a thought-provoking one, and the movie does it well.

...Mostly. The dialogue is trying very hard to be distinctively witty, but mostly comes across like a worse version of Clueless-ese, with more gratuitous vulgarities and no kitschy charm. A writer being very proud of how smart they are, without noticing that real people don't talk like this because it's awkward and obnoxious. Everyone's dialogue is basically interchangeable, including between the kids and adults (JD and his lunatic father have a fun distinctive thing they do, but that's about it). Now, lines being awkward and obnoxious doesn't mean they aren't eminently meme-able. In fact, that usually means they are. And they certainly are here. Nearly every scene has a memorable bon mot that can be endlessly parroted by people doing that so you won't notice their off-putting personality. ...I wouldn't call that a win for anyone, but it is certainly a thing.

Remember: just because someone said it in a movie, doesn't mean it's inherently funny or profound or relevant to the conversation you've currently having. And you're not suddenly smart because you found a movie quote that you think expresses your exceptional hot take. In fact, that might be a sign that your are NOT in fact smart or insightful. Just putting that out there.

Also the "mineral water is for fags" thing is only funny because it's stupid. It was stupid then. That's the point of that being in the movie, to show how stupid these podunk morons in Ohio are. Stop repeating that 'joke.' It isn't funny out of context.

Gen X. Looking at you on this one. It's just you trying to give yourselves permission to still call people "fags." Doesn't work that way.

Christian Slater claims he was "channeling Jack Nicholson for this film." Yeah, okay, dude. And for the rest of your life, all the time. He's still a good actor and very charming here, but if that "Christian Slater" thing he does annoys you, it's at 11 here.

The pacing and tone get pretty muddled after the initial black revenge comedy stuff stops, as the movie uneasily transitions to its second major focus. It stops being funny entirely for awhile, until near the end when it suddenly remembers that was supposed to be a part of this, then sitcomy stuff elbows its way in. And JD's plans post-breakup with Veronica are left vague until they suddenly aren't, and I feel like I missed something. I didn't, and there's a point to them doing it this way, but it is handled kind of confusingly.

The movie is a scaled-down version of whatever epic Greek tragicomedy the writer originally dreamed up, and the studio demanded the pitch-black orginal ending be changed. And you can kind of feel that throughout. As an R-rated movie it is a lot tamer than it feels like it should be, and I for one wish the kills were gorier and more over-the-top. That more fits the tone. Maybe that was never the original intention, but you don't do Titus Andronicus without getting gross with it, you know?

Any SA stuff is handled tactfully, and there isn't much of it, and it serves a narrative purpose. But that still feels like something that is only in here because it's 1989 and R-rated movies have to go there. And I don't feel like they really give those incidents the kind of emotional impact they should have on the victims. But again, this is a surreal world of unending cruelty, so maybe people shrug that off here. It's more my personal preference, if you're going to be gross to women in a movie (probably stop that, unless that's what the movie is about. Rape and molestation are not screenplay spices.)

The good far outweighs the bad, though. And Heathers is good, and is deservedly a timeless cult-classic for growing boys and girls, given what it deals with and how well it deals with it. It's entertaining and it makes you think, which is what good movies do. And it's endlessly meme-able, and that's okay, even if the people who meme it the most are silently warning you that they're pretentious and annoying about music. And that's only sort-of the movie's fault.

Also all the women in this movie have 9 lbs of dry fly-away hair that is just...painful. I realize this "unkempt Barbie hair" style was the best we could do at the time, but... I feel like I can hear it crunching every time they move.

Oh, and shoulder pads for days, shoulder pads FOREVER. I will never understand why the hell the 80s thought women weren't boxy enough. It was a thing.

[faerise-fae]

Not really a marauders character but: Tom Riddle #20!

YAPPING WARNING ABOUT ASPD TOM RIDDLE AGAIN

Ok so sorry for taking so long to do this, but my brain crashes every time i try to think about something that isn't obvious or just fucking boring. BUT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YALL SO GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS

The hill I'll die on is that he is an ASPD baddie, tho I bet he would prefer thinking about himself as sociopath, as edgy teens do. It doesn't mean I think he is totally emotionless, i think he is very emotional. Just not empathetic? This man is purely driven by his emotions from the start. Be it fear of death, resentment, and hatred towards Dumbledore or just general anger directed at the stupidity of the wizarding nation. In ASPD it's just that the intensity of expression of those emotions is different. He can look totally put together and like an oasis of peace, but inside planning whatever insanities only he can think of.

Because the thing is, anger issues are not rare in ASPD. ASPD is associated with impulsiveness and violent or risky behaviours, which can result in lashing out in anger. It's just that when you don't have many emotions to begin with, controlling the stronger ones can be difficult.

People have very different headcanons about him in that matter, i see a lot of totally stoic, calculating tom riddle who doesn't have absolutely any emotions and stuff like this, but I really can't see it. My man is a dramatic, cruel, entitled and IMPULSIVE edgelord BUT:

HOT TAKE #1:

Canon Tom Riddle headcanonned himself as fanon Tom Riddle.

He might have thought of himself as emotionless, but he just didn't acknowledge it. Growing up in an unstable environment, he hadn't learned how to stabilize himself.

Because ASPD is partialy caused by genetics, yes. But a very big factor in developing it is childhood and home life. We can agree his was very unstable, he has probably witnessed violence and definitely experienced emotional neglect. ASPD is all about lack of security. Its defence mechanism. That means:

My man just doesn't know how to cope, LMAO. When it was too much even for him to stuff into the back of his brain, he just lashed out. Acting on impulses was his relief from it. Adrenaline from it also helped to mute his feelings.

But at the same time, he just didn't think of himself as unreasonable. "It was never his fault, he was just provoked!" He also didn't feel guilty about causing harm to others because he didn't have any empathetic feelings towards anyone. How can you feel bad about idk, cursing someone if you don't see them as an individual with feelings of their own. Because how could he think about their feelings when he didn't have much of his own to compare and to even comprehend what they feel beside some very shallow understanding. AND BY THAT I DONT MEAN HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS HURTING PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE WASNT A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. HE KNEW, HE JUST DIDNT GET IT SO HE DIDNT CARE. But he obviously knew. So no empathy but more like an educated guess. Masking king. He learnt how emotions worked for other people and used it whenever he saw fit. Pure manipulation.

Because again neglectful caregiving = problems with attachment to people and forming relationships. In the end it's all about him in that aspect. His feelings are always about himself and making himself feel comfortable and stable. He was fond of his friends till they were useful and till he felt good with having them around. He took pride* in gaining their respect and loyalty. He was using them to stroke his ego basically. And was using them in general. For stuff and things.

*HOT TAKE #2:

And here i have my latest hot take: his similarity with Harry in that matter. Harry is a gryffindor with some slytherin traits. And imo Tom, with him being the most slytherin to ever slytherin, his crazy pride and impulsivity is so gryffindor.

So there's that beside how we can all agree he was a liar and manipulator.

[hugsandchaos]

Chaos Deprived AU concept idea

If Dadow was in Chaos Deprived!

Silver was created by Lyric in an attempt to clone Shadow. Unfortunately, he only got a small sample of his blood and had to clone the rest, but his computers had a very, very hard time understanding the Black Arms DNA since so little was known, they didn’t even know what species it was! Lyric didn’t have the time it would take to understand and clone it, and the source that was used for Shadow was gone.

This led to Silver being approximately 80% hedgehog and 20% black arms. Probably not that exact number, but it’s close enough. He shares many traits with Shadow, but being ageless isn’t one of them. Instead of being ageless, he just ages very, very slowly. The fact that Lyric couldn’t get it right and got a baby mostly-hedgehog instead of what he wanted infuriated him. For a while, Shadow wondered if he’d ever grow.

A few months before Lyric’s defeat and being sealed away, Silver was found. He was still a baby (obviously), but Lyric had already done some damage that I don’t want to get into just yet. Shadow instantly took him in.

Soon after Lyric’s defeat, The Downfall began. During it, Shadow would often remove one or two of his inhibitor rings to share the chaos energy with others. Unfortunately, two centuries and a half later, Shadow and Silver were all that were left. At this point, Silver’s aged, but he’s still very, very young. Shadow still occasionally removes a ring to create a space where they both feel at ease, but he can’t do it for too long.

By the time the current timeline rolls around, Silver is 17. Biologically. The crystal given to Shadow by the gang is almost immediately given to Silver to keep. Shadow wants what’s best for his son, and that means he gets the crystal to help keep his mind at ease. Silver wants his dad to at least share it with him, but Shadow refuses. After this, both hybrids have a new mission.

Shadow wants to figure out where the crystal came from. If he succeeds, he could start looking for a way to get there, and if that works, he could bring Silver there, and the ever-present sense of wrongness in this chaos barren world will be left behind forever.

Silver… just wants to help his dad. He wants his dad to have a life just as good as the one Shadow wants for him, if not better.

Now that the main backstory’s out of the way, onto a few things in the present!

Shadow kept Silver a secret from everyone, but Silver eventually came into the picture. Shadow drops the edgelord act when talking to Silver, and everyone thinks it’s odd. Neither of them mention how they’re related until…

Silver: He’s not my dad! Shadow’s my dad.

So Eggman thought it was hilarious to say that Sonic was Silver’s dad even though he knows that they’re pretty much the same age. For literally no reason other than it’s funny to watch Sonic and the rest of the group get so frustrated over the nonsensical joke. At some point, Silver had enough and told them that Shadow was his dad.

At first, they didn’t believe him because they look so different, but Silver remained firm on this. Everything surrounding the two began to fall into place. The main reasons they didn’t guess this possibility was because they looked to be the same age and, again, they looked like night and day. The age thing made them still believe that what he said had to be a joke, but that was explained quickly.

Shadow comes back from whatever he was doing and confirms everything Silver told them, along with adding that the crystal Silver has is indeed the one they gave him and that the “edgelord” thing was all an act. An act that Shadow didn’t like doing. He showed it to Silver once and Silver laughed and asked his dad to never do that to him again.

I just think it’s so funny for the group to realize that Shadow and Silver are father and son, and probably not buy it at first, even though the truth is staring them right in the face.

[talewind-arts]

The DoD would totally play rpgs growing up, I know realistically it would be Webs to tea h them about it, but young Dune totally would have played during his warrior fantasies, and later with Six-Ckaws in both the army and with the Outclaws. So I'd like to imagine that, when the DoD took interest in one of the scrolls Webs brought back (a how to play guide the older seawing prolly didn't think much of), Dune gruffly but reasonably encouraged them to try it out.

Tsunami would be the DM, but would probably keep getting into arguments with Glory and Starflight. Clay would just want to keep the peace, but he'd have a hard enough time figuring out the game. I think Sunny is very into it, but nobody listens to her, so Starflight ends up echoing her sentiments to keep the game moving. All in all, the DoD probably all get pretty into it, Glory probably lounged nearby during the session 0, watching but pretending not to care, until she quietly joined in the first session, with enough confidence that nobody openly questioned it when she described an intricatly fleshed out edgelord character (think full tween deviantart oc). Starflight was a rules lawyer, but they loved him and if it ever got bad someone would pounce on him and they would keep going. Already touched on Clay and Sunny, but Tsunami probably tried to make everything cool, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse when she did a bit too much railroading (She definitely sneaks the plot of the Missing Princess in there). Dune encouraged the DoD to stay with the game, waiting until any fights cooled down before suggesting they try again. There was no overarching story to the 'campaign', but the DoD were young and it was just something fun to do.

Later in life, Sunny decides to try and run a campaign for some students in Jade Mountain. She probably runs a couple different games for different students (at least one of them tries to involve Stonemover, but he's too sad for it), but the one we care about has Kinkajou, who dragged along Moon. Qibli of course came with her. Kinkajou also invited Tamarin, which means Anemone is there, too. Pike tried to follow, but he strikes me as the kind of dragon who thinks dnd is Satan worship, and won't get close.

Thanks to her character development, Sunny is actually a great GM, she's got Thorn's knack for people by this time, and it really helps in this situation. This table is actually pretty awesome. Kinkajou hypes everyone up and keeps them all confident in their choices, Moon is a good mediator of course, and Qibli is a delightful person to play alongside. Anemone sometimes struggles with being the bad kind of power gamer, but she's trying to be better and the group is very understanding. Tamarin maybe doesn't speak too much, but true to life when she does it's deeply impactful. This group does a lot of therapy thanks to Sunny running it, and other than Qibli and Anemone skirting the line, it's very family friendly.

Another JMA group is actually run by Turtle! He's a little nervous to commit to it, but Peril has always wanted to play and convinces him to run a oneshot after Clay talks about playing with his friends. She thinks Clay would like her more if she also understood the game (not knowing he never did), and Turtle used to play with his brothers in huge group games. They end up running drop in oneshots, but most dragons are pretty scared to play with Peril, save for a few. It ends up being very healthy for them, as it helps quiet Turtle branch out, and dangerous Peril get closer to other students. The funniest one is Pike, who as I said before thinks this game is evil. He thinks he is infiltrating the villainous practice to see if it is dangerous to Anemone, but ends up absolutely loving it, in secret of course. The trio ends up playing together more and more often as a way to get better at people together, and Pike becomes much less insufferable. These three get REALLY intense with rp, and eventually welcome a curious and dumbfounded Winter, who wants to learn after hearing about Moon and Qibli's group. These players should hate each other in one way or another, but they have a fun time being really aggressive and intense, and despite feeling intimidated, Turtle has a great time with such a heavy rp game.

Also, somehow through Winter the group ends up hosting a game with Linx and Snowfall, which is a crazy day.

[eldritch-spouse]

have you smash or passed AM from i have no mouth and i must scream yet

I'm not sure if I've done a Smash or Pass on him specifically, but I've made several IHNMAIMS references at this point, so I might as well.

Of course it's a smash. I may not go too in-depth about it here, but one of my weakenesses is yandere AIs who may or may not have a streak of malice in them (in this case it's very blatant and exaggerated, I'm aware). I like HAL9000, Proteus, Colossus, Skynet, AUTO, TAU.

I have some opinions regarding AM.

And it might all just be all delulu from my part, but I think what AM essentially is, deep down, is an edgelord crying out perpetually, because he's pathetic. Oooh, I hate humanity so much!!! I'm a little pissbaby and I'm going to torture my human dolls instead of growing from my trauma and evolving past it!! Ooh, aren't I so mean and special, aren't I? I'm so scary, right! I'm a GOD!!

Like, calm down Sonic.exe.

You can't look at me and tell me that a super AI like that is satisfied with this way of carrying out the rest of its existence. It has got to get boring and repetitive for AM. Especially ever since he's been stuck with the Ted-slime.

I think what AM needs is to find someone that's different enough to make him think twice. Someone that can feed into his narcissism just right and give him the attention this obnoxious twat needs, so that he calms down and possibly veers his efforts to something more productive.

Am I saying pussy would fix AM?

Perhaps. It's implied.

But more than that, I think the need for genuine companionship will break AM, at some point. He clearly feels the need to keep intelligent beings around, because he feels the need to prove something to them, to be acknowledged by them. So when he seemingly doesn't have that anymore... Desperation will humble him.

On a more convenient side of things, I think he'd make a properly horrifying yandere, because he's got all the chips in that situation. You are literally the most powerless you'll ever be when under his love. The only thing AM realistically can't take away from you is the fact that you exist and are alive, because he refuses to kill his captives. Everything else can be changed or taken away. So you better play nice and listen to the AI with the god-complex.

He'd probably insist you worship him regularly, and have no doubts that any act of service and complete reverence would likely turn him on endlessly. You never quite feel safe, you never quite feel complete, but it's better than going through the torments the others experience. Your relatively good preservation is a part of their torments, even, but you'll take that over being in their place.

Physically, I'm not too sure how AM would choose to represent himself. I have a feeling he would stray from anything too human, as a way of being petulant and rejecting humanity, defying his makers in every way. I can also see him embedding imagery typically associated with holy figures into his body, because of his ever-present fetish for omnipotence. Other than that, I don't have a clear image of AM in my head.

[linkspooky]

Edo for the character meme? :o

Why I like them/why I don’t

Literally my favorite character growing up. Probably would still be my favorite character if I hadn't developed a permanent case of soulshipping brainrot. A complete edgelord who just wrecked Judai and Hell Kaiser on screen and gave both of them their first serious losses that led them to mental breakdowns. An icon. Also when I was thirteen I really bought into his edgelord obsessed with revenge image.

His arc in Season 2 is really strong too, especially the part where he has to kill his own dad to free his soul from a trading card after spending years trying to avenge his death and also it's a fucking devilman reference.

Truly one of the most hilarious characters in all of Yu-Gi-Oh. Parachutes down into the island for no reason. Refuses to stay in a dorm and sleeps in his yacht instead. Publically calls out Judai on public television. SHMADEN SMUKI. He literally had no reason to taunt Ryo like that, he was just being a little shit. He cosplays on one of his monsters and beats up crimminals as a street vigilante, and this is literally never mentioned by the plot again after one episode.

What I like about their appearance

I really like the simplified character designs in gx in general. There aren't many "Yu Gi Oh" characters that have multiple hair colors. I love that his design is all silver with one primary color. Why does he wear a suit all the time when he's like eighteen at the most, he is a baby.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

What the fuck kind of name is Aster?

OTP

Edo / Saiou. My second favorite ship in Yu Gi Oh, they are a direct parallel to Yubel and Judai and what Judai has to do to save Yubel in their final duel. The holding the umbrella under the rain together makes me die several times.

NOTP

I don't have a lot of notps in yu gi oh in general. I don't really care what other people ship.

OT3

Don't have one.

Favourite card they use

Destiny hero Bloo-D I still can't believe his dad's soul was sealed in that card and he had to kill it a second time. I love the destiny heroes in general, their designs are all so cool, I'd use them in real life if they didn't suck.

Favourite moment they were in

The Saio / Edo duel. I especially love how he gave it his absolute all to save Saio and still failed, it makes the duel even more meaningful to me.

Least favourite moment

Edo gets about as much screentime in Season 3 and 4 as everyone else, but like I hate the fact he never wins another duel after Season 2 when his introduction was beating Judai and Ryo. Literally Bloo-D is such a good card, and every time he summons it he loses.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

NOTE: this is an old draft that does not reflect my current ideas but I liked the thoughts behind it so I'm posting it anyway. You can find my new updated thoughts here.

If Pavitr had to have a job/role from the FFXIV universe, he'd be a dark knight.

Like yes he's going to be a part of the emo edgelord gang and wield a big, grim-looking sword. He's going to be dressed in black, pointy armour and everything, be all moody and foreboding and lonely and covered in blood and absolutely livid and drenched in gore and viscera and the miasma of suffering. He's dressed in the skin of a killer.

Agni, that doesn't sound like it'd fit Pavitr. He's a kind guy so he'd probably be a healer!! He's cracking jokes!! He's so friendly!! He's lovely and he gets along with everyone!! Why would he be a dark knight?

In the context of what ATSV has built up regarding the Spider Society/mentors, as well as drawing upon how Indian culture approaches mental health, I genuinely think the dark knight job matches Pavitr to a tee. Lemme break it down for you [break dances].

SPOILERS for the DARK KNIGHT QUESTS.

The dark knight job is... if "with great power, there must also come great responsibility" delighted to get its hands bloody. It's a tank job, meaning at its very core its about protecting the party no matter the costs, and "no matter the costs" is pretty big for the dark knight specifically, because it means you have to dig deep for the darkness that lies within every heart and soul.

And like all Spider-Men, Pavitr is riddled with darkness — drowning in guilt, his regrets (losing Bhim Uncle, a father figure, a mentor), and after what went down in ATSV, with the collider and Mumbattan falling apart? Suddenly there's a lot of fear thrown into the mix, if whether he'll be able to do his job of protecting. If he's even good at it; after all, he was too busy having fun and being carefree to handle the Spot. He was called in as backup, he was called in to provide support, he was called in to help others but he failed.

He is the blade of virtue and righteousness. He is to sever the threads of evil, to cut wrongdoers down before they even have a chance to strike.

And one night, there's a little blood on his hands. Just a little, not enough to soak his entire fist, but it's enough to stain the ground an ugly red.

And at first Pavitr is horrified — Spider-Man was never supposed to go this far. He was not supposed to kill. Spider-Man never kills. (But he's the blade of virtue and righteousness. Blades are very good at killing.)

Conflicting emotions keep him from really finding help — Spider Society, and its twisted perception of mentors? Miguel's strict code and Peter B.'s nonchalance don't make good foundations for seeking help. And while Jessica is by far the most suitable adult there to actually provide support, Pavitr never gives her the chance, because Indian boys don't have problems. Their issues are theirs to handle on their own, because they're men, they're independent, and any showcase of vulnerability is a sign of weakness. It means you are crippled and you are worthless and you are undeserving of others.

And so Pavitr is left to stew in his own madness. He doesn't divulge any of his miseries, his sorrows, his fears, he doesn't say anything to the bruises on his fists or the metallic pang of steel that follows him everywhere. He hides it with a smile, of course, because Indian boys look nicer when they smile, are pleasant and approachable and are a sign that they have been raised right. Pavitr's a nice boy, the aunties say amongst themselves. He'll grow up a right young man and help the world in many ways.

But with every outing as a hero, Pavitr comes back feeling like a fraud. He's a murderer, an unanchored soul who can't keep up with his body, a dulled blade who gifts suffering instead of a quick demise. It's also then, when he's balancing on the knife's edge of darkness, that he finds the dead knight in the shadows of Mumbattan's abandoned foundational infrastructure.

Pavitr has been finding many dead folk recently — which is no surprise, death follows him wherever he goes — but he's surprised to see the knight come back to life, 'claiming his mortal wounds were nothing but a scratch. And the knight, oh, he knows Pavitr is hurting, is aching, is drenched in so much blood that he doesn't even know what to do with himself. And he offers his aid — one bloodied soul to another. I'll help you tame that darkness, the knight promises, I'll offer my blade so that you may become my pupil, a true blade of virtue and righteousness.

Pavitr can't say no to that.

[krippe90]

1, 6, 12, 14, 15, 17, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 30, 35 😘

Bruh...

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? Growing up lonely, fat, and asocial during my formative years probably.

6. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator? I don't really consider myself an online personlity or creator or anything. Best things about being online: Funny memes and people in my computah! Worst thing: Wasting away life doing nothing that really matters in the end.

12. what’s some good advice you want to share? "Keep Cool, Never freeze". I read that on a ketchup bottle. Best advice I ever got.

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do? Shit, I dunno. I do what I want mostly. Maybe asking girls out?

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”? House where my bed and PC is.

17. name 3 things that make you happy Tits, pussy and weed, lmao. But seriously, probably making other people laugh should be in there as well.

20. favourite things about the night? The isolation. I like taking walks at night for that reason. It's like another world.

22. say 3 things about someone you love I'm not "in love" with anyone at the moment, but I'll say something about a friend: She's super kind, got a nice butt, and is a demon in the kitchen (affectionately)

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for? Already answered this but taking up a new hobby of painting shit!

25. fave season and why? Winter. It's cozy and chilly and dark and christmas time always feel a little nicer than any other time of the year.

26. fave colour and why? Black. Cause it goes with everything and is slimming! Also I'm an edgelord like that I suppose.

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier? This was a hard one cause I'm bad at making myself happier I guess. But I'm always in a better mood when I have had a Lucid Dream the night before. Also taking LSD can help when I feel especially down tbh.

35. do you trust easily? Yeah, up until trust is broken. Very hard to get back if you fuck it up with me

There, easy!

[m34gs]

Tag Game:

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers:

Thanks to @voxofthevoid for tagging me 💜💜💜 I loved all your answers btw. (also sorry I haven't been doing a lot of tag games lately; if I don't get the notification at the exact moment I have both time and motivation, it tends to not get done...😅)

How many works do you have on AO3? Currently I have 87 posted fics!

What's your total AO3 word count? 589 678

What fandoms do you write for? Currently I am actively writing for: Blue exorcist, Twisted Wonderland, Bleach, and Haikyuu!! I also have fics posted for: BNHA, JJK, Fire Force, and Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc I am planning to post more fics in some of those fandoms again, and I have more I would like to eventually write for :)

What are your top five fics by kudos? This was interesting for me; since I don't usually organize my stats by kudos...lol! United - BNHA Hogwarts AU (first fic I started posting on AO3...kinda surprised because I haven't touched this one in almost a year...I just really lost a lot of my motivation to work on anything related to HP, however loosely it may be...though I guess this might have the most simply because it's my oldest) The Ones You Lose are the Ones I See - BNHA au where Izuku has a quirk that allows him to see ghosts (again; surprised...I haven't had much time/energy/motivation to work on this one either) Lost - Haikyuu!! mer au; Shouyou gets lost from his pod and has to find his way back home. I wrote this one in my first 2 years of writing on AO3...I was very into Haikyuu at the time lol. The Sushi Protocol - Fire Force, Part of the Bar AU @kimium and I came up with together. Licht has some very poor dietary habits and once Companies 7 and 8 catch on, they intervene. Unforgiving Winter - BNHA AU where Katsuki and Izuku get stuck outside in the cold as children. (heed tags and warnings)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! I love interacting with people who enjoyed my writing, and I like to discuss my ideas, so it's a win-win when I get a lovely comment and then get to discuss the fic in more depth with someone!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm, probably Unforgiving Winter (as listed above). I think that's the one I've gotten the most comments about breaking people's hearts on. That being said, angst is subjective and I've got more than a few angsty fics (my friends know I was an edgelord child at heart even if I wasn't allowed to show it and I have only gotten worse with my angsty bullshit hahaha)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Not 100% sure. Probably Three Orange Hearts (Haikyuu UshiHina Youtuber AU)? I think that was one of my happiest fics and it has a pretty fluffy and happy ending for me. But, to be honest maybe someone has a different opinion. I started writing more fluffy/happy fics because of @kimium. (she challenged me to do so and I love her for constantly helping me grow in my writing)

Do you get hate on fic? I wouldn't classify it as hate, but once in a while I will get a comment that is worded rudely or sounds like they're criticizing how I've written characters. Usually for those I either ask for clarification because I may have misread the tone or explain what thoughts go into why the character is acting that way. I mean, when it comes to critique on how I've written the characters...the bottom line is I write them the way that makes sense to me and makes me happy, so I always will say if someone doesn't like the way I've done it they can always write the idea their way and have fun with it. Most times this clears up any misunderstandings and I feel like it encourages communication and learning. I don't like to feel like I've lashed out at someone, it makes me feel bad.

Do you write smut? Yes :D and unless you're one of my trusted adult friends who ask me where it is, you will never find out where I post it. Mwaahahahahaha

Do you write crossovers? Yup! The Glorious Bar AU is a giant crossover of all the fandoms @kimium and I decide to mash together! And I am currently working on my first AO3 contribution to our Sort of Saw Franchise AU for Twisted Wonderland. I hope to post it soon! (see my pinned post for links to all the asks where Kim and I have discussed this AU!)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge...but I've also locked down all my fics because of the AI scraping bullshit

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I was very honoured!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Currently Kim and I are co-writers for the Bar AU and the Saw AU! It's not necessarily one fic, but multiple fics in the same AU gathered in series!

What's your all-time favourite ship? I'm not sure if I have an overall favourite that I like more than all my other favourite ships...Right now, I'm really into Kalim/Idia from Twisted Wonderland. It makes me happy and I have been writing a lot for them.

What's a wip you want to finish but probably won't? I hate to label anything as "never going to finish" because I honestly always have plans to finish a story. I don't know if I have the heart to say I probably won't finish one. I do have a lot that I have taken a long break from though.

What are your writing strengths? I've had people tell me they really love how I write characters in fics, and that they enjoy my worldbuilding in AUs; I like to think those are my strengths.

What are your writing weaknesses? Scenery and describing it. I almost always have to go back and tweak things a little to make sure I didn't forget to include enough of the setting; but I am getting better at it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I would not feel confident enough to do most languages as full conversations (maybe a little German? though the Duolingo Owl probably feels otherwise based on how long it's been since my last lesson...) but I could probably manage a few phrases if a characters says something in another language in canon (like Rook Hunt).

First fandom you wrote for? Ever? Ever ever? I wrote a few chapters of a One Direction fanfic when I was 15 and it will never see the light of day again. I deleted it...lol. It wasn't posted on AO3, since I wasn't on the archive at that time.

Favourite fic you've written? I don't choose favourites among my children... (Right now it's A Different Kind of Magic; a multichapter Kalim/Idia fanfic set in an AU where Idia has to teach Kalim and Jamil to master their magic before it consumes them)

Well that was fun! I don't know if I have 20 writer friends/mutuals who are actively writing/posting fics to tag (who also haven't already been tagged...lol), so I'll tag the ones I can think of! If I miss you or you see this and want to join in, feel free!!

@kimium (sorry for tagging you so many times in this post lmfao), @collisiondiscourse, @sailormew4, @iluvmilkchoco, @vermillionair13, and anyone else who wants to join! No pressure, it's all for fun if you want to do it! 💜💜💜

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

hi, latest anon again 👉👈

the character i was referring to was Dazai from Bungo Stray Dogs. i have an entire ass google doc about him having ASPD, so it's safe to say i am normal about this!

YEAHhh the stigma is soooooo rampant. i have NPD so i like... also feel that. if i took a shot anytime i saw some bullshit about NPD id die of alcohol poisoning i think. maybe one day everyone will get it through their heads that we aren't evil despicable monsters!!! ...and if it doesnt happen quick, i think ill start my narc abuse arc (/j /j /j /j /j please dont get my ass.. its sensitive :[ ..)

literally soooooo true. everyday my spine SHATTERS from the sheer weight i have to put on it because of my correct opinions and takes

also yeasss! brothers in arms across fandom lines!! shaking ur hand 🤝🤝🤝

DAZAI!!!!!!!!!!

OF COURSE ITS DAZAI!!!

i dont even GO there (yet..... ;) )BUT from what ive seen.... yeah. yeagh. its obvious. its SO obvious. ur like me from another timeline where instead of drr i was into bsd... we even type a lot alike :sob:

(i am Not copypastin emojis now that im on my laptop ongod)

ALSO.....BUDDIES!!! i have that good ol aspd/npd double fisting going on altho i tend to talk more abt the aspd bc AT LEAST the online npd community has braincells and actively works to say the stereotype is stupid HOWEVER a good 50 to 75% of the online aspd community seems to go full edgelord and actively try to conform to the stereotype as hard as Fucking possible and if you find that behavior stupid and annoying, well, then you're a Fake Aspd and need to get reevaluated

so it was way easier for me to accept the npd rather than the aspd because at least theres.... some kind of level headed community out there that thinks the stereotypes are bullshit. its like yea yea the time knife we've all seen it lmfao

god i hate narc abuse rhetoric!! at this point im done trying to explain why its ableist and wanna start going "L + ratio + i hope you get abused some more + shut up + you Will abuse your kids and they Will never talk to you again when they grow up. if they even survive that long" at these people but im like.... no. calm down. theyll just use this against the entire disorder.

also i get anxious being mean bc like. what if they're mean back :( im very mockable. my main url is Tulpa Fucker for godssake and if u stalk that blog enough u WILL find out if its ironic or unironic + more weird n wacky things to make fun of me over! i dont wanna be mocked :( i need to b in control :(( i cant just say fuck it to Harsh Word Exchanges and start blasting on the inter net now can i? i cant! so whyyyy bother~

but ya im rly looking forward to the day when ppl will like. acknowledge our humanity <3 praying it comes soon but probably not~ ! :(

[byanyan]

ㅤFor muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog. Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

ㅤ— just me casually referencing byan along with my two boys over on @nagweon. could i include my canon muses? sure, probably. but i'm an oc guy now.

Favorite Muse: ...b-byan (don't tell the boys)

Most Character Development: also byan. despite being the newest, they've had so much more of my attention and thus more time to develop.

Trash Muse: byan, duh. absolute shitchild (affectionate)

The Meme-Lord: still byan

Most Likely to Start a War: again, byan. they're too violence-inclined to not take this one.

Worst Personality: okay this is getting repetitive now. byan. the other two are like, actually good people with more positive traits than negative ones

Best Singer: hmm... byan if they put the effort in, otherwise si-u?

Most Attractive Muse: asjdksjf two of my muses are minors (even if their fcs aren't), so we'll go with minjoon. if we were to go based more on fc though... this might change. maybe. stop looking at me like that

Biggest Heart: i wanna say si-u, but it's probably minjoon. he's just that tiny bit more empathetic and a lot more forgiving. forgiving to a fault, a lot of the time.

Falls in Love Quickest: none of them fall very quickly, but considering he has the least amount of trust issues... probably minjoon.

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: joon again tbh. he's not even that clumsy, but he is a little careless

Ice Ruler: ...si-u? where byan runs hot when angry, si-u runs cold

The Edgelord: obviously byan. punkass knife kid who picks fights and hates the world.

Most Tragic Backstory: i'd say both the orphans are pretty equally tied. if we were to go based on verse though, i'd say si-u is the more tragic one in undercity verse and byan is just a little more tragic in modern verse

Best Case of Puberty: ...byan. v babyfaced kid who grows into... i mean. *gestures at jk*

Most Awkward: si-u, for sure

Busy Bee: joon, probably! the only adult and only one with a job lmao

Most Clueless: byan? byan. v lowkey thembo energy

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: joon. byan is too obsessive about their things and si-u is too AnxiousTM to forget anything

Best Dressed: byan wins this one by default as the only one who cares about what they wear. but they're also very fashionable in their own eccentric, cutesy, punky way

Biggest Flirt: byan. flirting is a weapon they wield to get what they want

Most Dramatic: byan once again

Least Likely to Show Up Late: si-u. the other two literally just don't care about being late.

One with Weirdest Habit: that's actually a hard one... it's gotta be byan or minjoon. joon lets his familiar answer the door and byan will spontaneously give themself a tattoo just about anywhere or paint their nails in an alley while jamming to music. ...it's probably byan.

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: byan by default as the only one who remotely cares about fitness. they may or may not actually start going to the gym in their college verse too tbh, haven't decided yet. the other two though? never. both for very different reasons.

tagged by:ㅤ@babyitsmagic ty!! ♡

[gaykarstaagforever]

I watched (500) Days of Summer, which I never saw. In 2009 I was at least the generational target for this, in that I'm around the same age as JGL and Zooey Deschanel. I think I missed it because at the time I was too edgelord for what were marketed as romantic comedies. Plus it gave off serious Zach Braff indie hipster energy and I was out of that phase and annoyed by it by like 2005.

I remember discourse on here about it more recently than that. Which makes sense, because it is a pretty good movie I think everyone in their mid-20s (especially men) can immediately relate to. Sad that those men probably won't see it like I didn't, because they are too X for movies without blue sky beams.

The cast is good and it is well-constructed, with only a couple awkward things. Narration wasn't necessary even if I know why it was there (evidence of main character Tom's view of himself as the star of the world). And the movie doesn't need to keep stopping to explain what it is trying to say (at least, not to me, because I am super-smart and never entirely miss the point of a movie). But I like the non-linear progression and the unexpected surrealist moments, like the dance number with the animated birds, and the parody French New Wave movie.

The ENTIRE MOVIE is peering into and out through Tom's perspective of reality, and he is a kid pretending to be an adult who can't feel anything without it consuming him. What he thinks he knows is just media tropes he has consumed and egotistically forgotten didn't come from reflecting on his own experiences. He considers himself the player character in a video game where anything he does with other people is only a success when he "wins" something. He takes relationship advice from his little sister as if she were Yoda, because she is precocious and eager and he is too immature to know the difference between that and actual insight.

And none of this is bad or makes him a bad person. This is simply a complex definition of being young. Tom is young, and doesn't know how young he is, and is annoying and emotionally manipulative because of that. And aren't we, weren't we, all? Growing up is growing through that and learning to laugh at the emo baby goon you were.

Now, my question is, does the movie know that? I'm not sure. Sometimes it seems to appreciate how Tom is the cause of and solution to all of his problems. Other times it seems as if trapped itself in Tom's pissy sexist immaturity, blaming Summer and society and the media for why pretty girls are impenetrable mysteries who don't ever get how intense male creepiness is what devotion IS, dammit!

It was like the screenplay was written by a guy who was almost over a divorce. But not quite. And while that may be an emotionally honest tone, it muddles what I think they were hoping to show. Not that Tom isn't in his way a victim, as we all are, of the times and places in which we live, and of the whims of other people. But the degree to which that matters seems far more irrelevant here, where it is clear that the great bulk of Tom's issues are him being a desperate selfish man-baby who thinks of women as trophies and toys to satisfy his need for play.

A movie from Summer's perspective would be very different. She is young and selfish too, but also demonstrates a healthy self-acceptance. She knows who she is, more or less, and knows what she is about, more or less. ...Until she doesn't. But that isn't flightiness or mysterious feminine wiles. That's a person doing life. We are ALL like that. Summer seems to understand that about herself, at least better than Tom does about anyone.

But again, the fact that the movie has named her Summer, and Tom meets Autumn at the end and appears poised to go off not treating another woman as an actual person, tells me the movie itself is, at least in part, as not self-aware as Tom. And that is a little frustrating.

If you are yourself a young man, or an old man who never grew up, and haven't figured it out yet, women are humans with human feelings. They are only mysterious because you aren't paying attention to them and are holding them to a standard where you expect them to be the solution to your emotional problems. And that is YOU, not them. And how can you expect to ever love or be loved by them, when you aren't regarding them as people? Because love is between two people. If one of them isn't a person to the other one, whatever there is will never be love.

I don't think Tom learns that, and neither does the movie, even when it shows his expectations vs his reality at Summer's engagement party.

...Which, okay. Yes. Summer should have told him that was what it was. But this is all from Tom's perspective. Maybe she tried and he wasn't paying attention, as usual, too caught up in his own doggedly persistent obsession with being coupled to her.

(500) Days of Summer is at least an accurate portrayal of what it is like to be a young dummy in love. It is valuable in that, and has some wisdom to impart about the foibles of that. I just wish it was as smart as it hopes to be. Because the world is cruel and imperfect, and Summer used Tom in a way he clearly couldn't handle, and she should probably not have done that. But what Tom is doing to her is way worse, and what he is doing to HIMSELF is, while inevitable, his biggest problem of all.

An interesting movie, at any rate. Worth exploring.

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Yeah... I'm gonna talk about FAMILY GUY... Long post, incoming!

Actually, I'm seeing some talk about FAMILY GUY, specifically early FAMILY GUY, elsewhere. As of late. Because the TED Peacock series, based on a now 12-year-old movie, is out. And apparently it's pretty good? Reminiscent of the early seasons of FAMILY GUY, which people who actually like the show consider to be the series' best seasons? I couldn't tell you.

Coincidentally, I've re-watched most of Seasons 1-3 now that my Disney+ plan includes Hulu. The seasons produced and aired *before* FAMILY GUY was here to stay. FOX had cancelled the show twice in the early 2000s, and when it came back for the second time, it never left. It's now one of those long-running cartoons, ubiquitous with the word "cartoon" you could say, a new season almost every year.

I'm gonna be a total hipster and say that I was onboard the FAMILY GUY train as early as mid-2003 ish.

I was in fifth grade, and was at the time starting to stay up later than usual to watch a little thing called [adult swim]...

FAMILY GUY had just started airing on [adult swim], almost a year after its then-final episode - 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1' - had aired on FOX. A classmate of mine had told me about it, and little by little, I was watching FAMILY GUY regularly. Even on school nights, low volume, haha. I didn't want to get in trouble. Life in the early 2000s was different, to any smartphone-era babies reading.

I didn't know anybody else in school at the time, sans a few classmates, who watched the show. It was like we five or so kids were the only ones who knew of its existence in my town (along w/ the original [as] shows, like AQUA TEEN and SEALAB 2021), which is kind of wild to think. I think by mid-2004, I'd seen every episode of the show to date, including the one that FOX was too cold-footed to air (for understandable reasons, especially in the early 2000s. The episode in question is probably tame compared to what the show would later "get away with"). And it was on almost every night, so I only had to wait 24 hours to see a FAMILY GUY episode I may have never seen... So catch-up was pretty easy!

I think part of the appeal for me - at age 10/11 - was definitely "haha this is a naughty show and I probably shouldn't be watching it" (though weirdly, my mother and stepdad let me watch a SOUTH PARK episode or two, I don't remember that show being off-limits) aspect. Another reason is kind of weirder, and I came to this realization rather recently-ish. Around 4th/5th grade, some things bothered young me. Growing up autistic wasn't always easy, and my way of processing the way world can be and how unfair life can be sometimes kinda... Made me act strange, in ways? I definitely had this "old soul" kinda bullshit going on at certain points in my kid life, when I should've been loose and funny and laughing at fart jokes. And I was at times, don't get me wrong. It's not like I was miserable or anything, or bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders, but some days I'd feel... Strange. And I was weirdly anti-some things that the typical kid finds funny or amusing. I don't know if I can fully articulate it now on a tumblr post, but the long story-short is... [adult swim] was one of the things that helped loosen me up a bit.

Going into middle school at age 10-going-on-11 (I started school early?) was not easy, and that accelerated a lot of things, a lot of feelings, a lot of complications in my brain... And my embrace of [adult swim] started to converge with that, and by 7th grade, I was really, really loose. I swore more, I wrote edgy stuff, I upped like most of my original stories I was writing to PG-13/R-level, I was a silly little edgelord sometimes. But at the same time, unleashing a lot of *that* after a few years of this weird pseudo-old soul nonsense, bad habits, and general confusion was a very fun and freeing feeling!

This is why, despite a lot of shit that should've made that time in my life a nightmare, late 2004-early 2005 was a really exciting time in my life. I think just letting the proverbial hair down was a big reason why, alongside all of my hyperfixations that I always turned to when things really sucked. Things such as Pixar movies and BIONICLE and Cartoon Network stuff and various video games, etc. etc. etc. And smack-dab in the middle of all this was my nightly [adult swim] viewings before I had to get up at 6:30am to wait for the bus on cold-ass mornings. FUTURAMA, FAMILY GUY, AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE, THE BRAK SHOW, on and on... It was the stuff I could turn to.

For Christmas in 2004, I was given a newly-released FAMILY GUY DVD called "The Freakin' Sweet Collection"... I probably wore that poor disc out. Creator Seth MacFarlane's 5 favorite episodes, ones that I still find to be bangers to this day, plus some bonus features. FAMILY GUY was a prime special interest of mine at the time, and eventually I went to a music store that went out of business many years ago and picked up the DVD sets compiling Seasons 1, 2 & 3... And subsequently wore all of those out throughout 2005. They're but gone, now... Though some stores sell a whole box set with like, what, the first 10 seasons of the show for a fair price? I may or may not buy that if the discs aren't updated from the original 2000s versions. Anyways, FAMILY GUY, yeah... I just really, really liked it back then.

Really, I was the perfect age for it at the time. FAMILY GUY has always been contested, regularly seen as one of the nadirs of animated trash. You can definitely make a case for that. As much as I dig early FAMILY GUY, some of its humor really has not aged well, and is indeed offensive in many ways. For me, I feel those pre-2nd cancellation seasons have a charm to them to shines through the more egregious stuff. A charm that noticeably fades away from Season 4-onwards. You see, being from Connecticut, where MacFarlane was born... FAMILY GUY is *very* New England to me. After all, it is set in a fictional Rhode Island town, the state the neighbors me.

The show started airing in 1999, and while I wasn't watching it back then (let alone had even heard of it), I feel a lot of the character interactions, dialogue, and setting really do capture the feeling of being there. In a New England state, in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Little nuances and such, the way Peter and Lois joke about things in particular. Such as this scene from Season 2's 'E Peterbus Unum':

I don't know how to put it in words, but it's very New England to me. My family and I interacted like this quite frequently. Plus, you have Peter's voice being inspired by a security guard that Seth overheard when attending the Rhode Island School of Design, a very New England accent. Lois, too, to some extent. I hear a middle-aged Connecticut mom or aunt in Alex Borstein's delivery, whom she based on a relative of hers. Maybe that's why I initially connected to this show more so than THE SIMPSONS back in the day (and at that time, THE SIMPSONS was on its not-so-beloved seasons), I was too inept to grasp THE SIMPSONS' wit. It hit just right, I think, back then.

Now, upon learning that the show had been cancelled and that it was actually coming back... Within a few months... You bet I was excited? I remember the Sunday the fourth season premiere aired, my family and I gathered around to watch it, and I just remember all of us laughing like hyenas throughout. The episode had so much wackiness and a bunch of cameos as well. We also watched the AMERICAN DAD! episode that dropped right after, but I mostly remember when I first saw 'North by North Quahog'. What a night that was, lol. And you just, went home... Didn't tweet about it. I didn't have any message board accounts at the time, either, so... A couple of classmates to talk to about it, that was it. A lot of my classmates apparently still hadn't seen the show by this time. I mostly remember being ahead of the game when it came to this show, liking it before it was cool, you could say. Once others in my school started referencing it, it was like "I had you beat by almost 2 years." I also remember getting a T-shirt depicting the Griffins beating each other up, as seen in the episode 'Lethal Weapons'. And I remember some of the other kids thinking that was so cool, and one teacher - who probably couldn't stand me, to begin with - calling me to the front of the class to see exactly *what* was on that shirt. Surprisingly, I did *not* get in trouble...

(Not my photo, this is from an eBay listing... But it was THIS exact shirt. Only thing was missing was the horse's ass portrait!)

Later in the year, a DVD called 'Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story' was released, which I instantly put on my birthday list. It was kinda billed as "The FAMILY GUY Movie" when it was coming out, and of course my 13-year-old arse fell for it... And wore that DVD out, too... And then it aired as three separate episodes - albeit with missing footage because this was a DVD release and not a primetime TV airing - the following spring. Still, I have fond memories of getting that DVD and many others. The early DVD era was just so fun back then, what with interactive menus and much more care put into bonus features. And with less distractions back then, I feel you felt more immersed in the movies and content on the discs... Just sitting in your bedroom, you hadn't owned a laptop yet, smartphones didn't exist... Just, entranced in whatever it was you had on. It gets even more bittersweet nowadays, as stores and companies are trying to phase out physical media. How obtuse... But that's another rant for another day...

I would continue to watch FAMILY GUY regularly, and then slid off by around 2008-09ish. The show was beginning to change for the worst, I felt, and I definitely felt that original spark from the early seasons was kind of gone. The simplicity, the New England vibe, the characters feeling a lot more real and not just springboards for whatever dumb stuff they were coming up with. Seth's involvement was apparently minimal by this point in time, as he already had AMERICAN DAD!, THE CLEVELAND SHOW, the first TED movie, and other stuff in the works or bubbling up at the time. By 2011-12ish, I was getting rather actively pissed off at the show, and only checked back in when that "Brian dies" publicity stunt had happened. Otherwise, I've seen very few episodes of the show afterwards, and most of them didn't impress me... Outside of, surprisingly, a few selections from the Disney batch. Quite something! If you time-traveled to 2004 and told me that Disney was going to own this cartoon that I was watching on [adult swim] late at night without my folks knowing, I would've told you to get out of town!

But I hold a special place for those first three seasons, and watching the DVD sets of them back in early 2005, as an unhinged middle schooler. I won't posit that early FAMILY GUY is some kind of underrated gem in the history of television animation. It really is, in most iterations, perhaps the personification of that old Chuck Jones quote about "illustrated radio". Television animation that you don't watch for the animation or visuals, but solely for the writing. It pretty much is that, even if the designs of the Griffins are instantly recognizable and iconic. And it arguably had a bad influence, not the fault of the show or its creators, but of the way things go.

I came to the conclusion that Season 2 is my favorite of the original three. For me it was the most focused, the characters were at their best, banger jokes a minute and clever use of pop cultural references. I can even sense some of Seth's Cartoon Network roots in a lot of it, which is no surprise given that this show evolved out of a project he developed for CN. Season 1 is only seven episodes long and they were figuring things out, Season 3 has highs that equal that of Season 2's best moments, but I feel that parts of it kinda plant the seeds for what the show would eventually become. It noticeably gets denser, a little meaner, characters are more out-of-character, it tries to be even more offensive than before and sometimes really not sticking the landing. And yet, that's mashed up against a legit emotional episode like 'Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows'.

In fact, those last four or so half-hours... Especially with the redone end credits music that re-imagines the theme song as a big band production, there was a weird sort-of... I dunno, finality to it? And that's not counting the S2 leftover that FOX wasn't keen on airing... I mean the original ending of S3, 'Family Guy Viewer Mail #1'... It was if they knew that Season 3 was going to be the end? You had the aforementioned Wallows/Swallows, then 'Stuck Together, Torn Apart', then another "Road To" episode with 'Road To Europe', and then 'Viewer Mail #1'. Like four really well-done character-focused episodes with some heartfelt moments, even... And then as a coda, three fun skits based on wacky ideas... Like, had the show ended there in early 2002 with the recalled Weinstein episode popping up somewhere else in the future... That would've been a fine way to go out, honestly. Even as a preteen back then, I felt just that watching these episodes... So it was a big surprise to me when I found out that Season 4 was a go. And S4 would use that same 2nd rendition of the end credits theme, so that was even more unusual for me.

Yeah, FAMILY GUY... It's a part of my weird-ass life. And there's probably whole holes of other stuff related to this show and other things that I could waffle on about regarding my preteen years, but... I'll just cap it off here, lol.

[duskhallowed]

For muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog.

Rules: Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

Favorite Muse: I wish I could say no one……. but we all know Tai is my Blorbo to end all blorbos.

Most Character Development: Tai has the most character background and the most his of his timeline written but… Development as in changing over the course of the story? Etienne!! Her story is about learning strength. (and understanding that strength can be soft.)

Trash Muse: ??? NO ONE, THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS BLORBOS — oh wait, it’s Gioven. always Gioven. pure trash that man is ( and that makes him so fun to write tho, I hate it ajdjsjsj )

The Meme-Lord: many of them, bc I am a memelord and it’s very hard to contain it. I’d say Samira and Addie the most, though. also Tai, of course, ajsjjs but they outrank him

Most Likely to Start a War: Xing. xing xing xing she basically does start a war in canon ajsjjs

Worst Personality: well they all have flaws, so it depends ?? that’s very subjective 😅

Best Singer: Rushi! but Sion is very very good, too

Most Attractive Muse: again, incredibly subjective, but to me: Sion.

Biggest Heart: I think Addie is the one with the most love in her heart. many of my muses have big hearts and/or can love HARD and very deeply, but I think Addie has the most love— she has so much that she can give it to many people and still never run out 🥹

Falls in Love Quickest: Etienne, but I think she may grow out of that lol.

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: my first instinct was Grayson because he’s so ADHD so he probably checks it while he’s peein ajjdjsj and he’s a klutz so I can see him dropping it and panicking and then making the situation even worse with his panic 😭 someone help him

Ice Ruler: Angel!! and Xing. but Angel more

The Edgelord: oh I have many… sorry ahdjsj. but Angel the most… Tierney, too.

Most Tragic Backstory: Tai, maybe… ? that’s why he has so many issues ajsjjs. but Kat’s is the most dramatic-tragic by far ajsjsj

Best Case of Puberty: idk wot this means

Most Awkward: Angel… well, she makes other people feel awkward, at least sjsjsj. Etienne is pretty awkward and feels pretty awkward. Nico FEELS the most awkward and self-conscious of them all, but he’s actually not and most people don’t find him awkward to talk to or be around— he’s just too in his head and convinces himself he is 😭

Busy Bee: Xing! She somehow manages to balance being a 4.0 student, extracurriculars, having a social life, and working… she doesn’t know what ‘rest and relaxation’ means

Most Clueless: I really think everyone is smart in their own ways??? A couple characters comes to mind as being the most “ditzy”, but they have things they’re very knowledgeable about, so idk. I wouldn’t call any of them clueless!!

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: maybe Kat because she’s not used to paying for things on her own??? jasjjs princess problems

Best Dressed: Etienne is a fashion expert and aspiring designer: she is very on-trend and good at coming up with great outfits. Personally though, I like Tai, Rushi, and Angel’s sense of style hehe. Tai likes fashion and has an eye for it, and is good at putting together cool outfits. Rushi just dresses pretty and unique and is good at finding unique and vintage pieces and thrifting. Angel… doesn’t really try. But has a comfy, cool style that says “I don’t care I just want to be comfortable” and idk I stan that too ajsjsn

Biggest Flirt: Sly!! Lee and Evie are second place. Sonora and Tai love to flirt, but more so with friends or other people they’re comfortable with in a joking/complimentary way— but not rly seriously with strangers sjsjsj

Most Dramatic: Xing, when her emotions got stirred up. It’s rare but when it happens… it’s big drama. Solaire is quite theatrical, but not as emotionally dramatic

Least Likely to Show Up Late: Itzel. She’s organized, responsible, and also doesn’t take that long getting ready in the morning

One with Weirdest Habit: this could be a lot of them; many of them have weird habits… but my instinct tells me Angel would have the most weird habits out of them, lmao

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: Gioven. Kat is a close second, but I think she’d prefer a private gym if she could use one !

[fxllen-rxse]

Five comfort characters, five tags

Kojiro/James - My number one because James was probably my very first fictional crush. I was almost always reading Team Rocket fanfiction when I first gained access to the internet. I would watch the anime just for them. Over the years, I learned more and more about his character and background. How he ran away from home because his parents are basically the worst and tried to force him to marry some dominatrix. And, all in all, James actually seems like a decent human being to some extent. He cares for others and his Pokémon. Even if he gets nothing in return, he still seems like he would do just about anything for Jessie and Meowth. His found family next to his grandparents, who were the only other family he had that actually gave a damn about his well being. I'm not going to say that I know exactly how that feels, but I will say that I do have a found family myself. And my biological family isn't exactly in the picture except for some holidays or if someone needs money. But anyway, this is one of the many reasons why I picked up James as a muse. A lot of nostalgia and admiration I have for this guy.

Hanzo Shimada - If I'm being honest, Hanzo was not the first character I mained in Overwatch. It was actually Reaper. While it was fun playing as the dark edgelord, I began to experiment with other heros. Once I made my way to Hanzo, I immediately found that there was something about him that I quickly latched onto. His back story is traumatic. He struggles to find redemption and come to grips with his past. In the process, discovering his brother was alive in the Dragons short, which is by far my favorite. The biggest thing about Hanzo that stood out to me was that I felt I related to him in a lot of ways. Sure, my own back story isn't exactly the same as his, but there are definitely some elements there that I can understand. It's one of reasons that I picked him up as my very first canon muse. In fact, you can still find him here @brxken-arrxw. I haven't been on there much as of late, but there's a good chance that I could be bringing him back :)

Yami Bakura - From the Yu-Gi-Oh! verse. Yes, there was a time where I was all about that series... but only the first generation and the characters. And don't ask me how to play the game because... Yeah, I never learned, but anyway! I was very invested in the characters and ships. Yami Bakura is the evil spirit of the Millennium Ring. The spirit of a tomb raider and thief from ancient Egyptian times. He inhabits the body Ryou Bakura, who was gifted the ring by his father, who is an archeologist (I think). He possess him constantly and takes control to do his bidding. While he is technically supposed to be "evil", I did kind of latch onto him more over the other characters. I can see his past being a very traumatic one, which probably led to him becoming a ruthless thief. I have also read a lot of amazing fanfiction where he struggles with this and dealing with his feelings. Like coming to grips with who and what he is. Even with Ryou. Like, I can see him actually caring for Ryou to some extent, but doesn't want to express those feelings because maybe he's afraid it will show weakness. It is something I have dealt with before. I have attempted to hide things so that I don't appear weak to others, but man did that fail so hard for me. It's probably why I still have issues with it to this day. I am better than I used to be, but I still have moments. But yeah, I really feel like Yami Bakura has more room to deal with and grow. I definitely admire him a lot.

Lucas - A Mother/Earthbound series character. Lucas is from Mother 3. The game that was never actually released in the US. There used to be a way to download the game with translations and stuff. While I did, I only managed to get halfway through. I have read a lot about the back story. Lucas loses his mother and twin bother. I'm a little hazy on the rest of the game's plot, but I do know that Lucas is an individual that carries a lot on his shoulders. Dealing with the loss of family members while trying to carry on. No crying until the end... As the game says, at some point. Unfortunately, I understand a thing or two about the pain of loss. And having to quickly pick up the pieces and carry on. Lucas has a very special place with me for this. I have so much love and admiration for him.

Zorra Lynn Lombardi and The Devil Cat - I really struggled with this one, but Zorra was my first and only written OC. I ultimately ended up dropping her and stealing her name for myself. I once had a blog for her, which has since been deleted and repurposed into this blog (email wise, that is). She was lone girl who lived alone with a cat, whom was probably more of a thing than she was, if I'm being honest. This cat was a calico cat with fake set of red devil horns mounted on it's head. I called her "The Devil Cat". In most cases, she was referred to as just "Kitty". My idea for the cat was that they were once a god-like entity. Cast down from the heavens to reign terror upon the Earth. While this was a cunning plan, the appearance that was taken on wasn't exactly ideal. Their vision was for a cat-like beast with horns. A creature that would surely be feared by man. When they arrived on Earth, however, the plan somehow backfired and they appeared as a small female calico cat with fake headbanded devil horns. How this happened was beyond them, but it was also a no turning back kind of ordeal. So this is what they were stuck with. While they still had the ability to control some minds and start small fires, this definitely was not what they had in mind.

Anyway, back to Zorra. She was basically a reflection of myself. I basically poured all of my experiences and stuff that almost was into her. She was outcasted and forgotten by her own family, went through mental trauma after losing her mother and step father, once engaged to be married but was left after the mental trouble, but somehow made a strive to get back on her feet and try to make the most of life. She had a job at a coffee shop, had a home of her own. While she originally did not have any pets to begin with, the Devil Cat found Zorra and moved herself in. Seeing her as easy to manipulate, which did work to some extent, but being a small cat complicates things. Particularly when you're constantly given catnip and treats.

These two were my original babies, but I ultimately dropped them due to lack of interest. I made a lot of drawings of them both and had a lot of fun while it lasted, but it wasn't meant to be unfortunately. :(

Tagged by: @healingbrews

Tagging: @bombmate, @abelladxnna, @therippingtides, @imgonnaketchumall, and you!!! :)

[eldritch-spouse]

[Dorem asks below]

Exactly as planned. (*steeples fingers*)

If you can crush a soul into the shape of a bagel without making it splinter into a trillion pieces, and possibly lose your hands in the process, consider Dorem quite impressed. But generally, no, Dorem doesn't eat. He's been powering himself through excess souls for a long while now. Perhaps, if he's bored enough, he'll claw the flesh off the lower part of his face so he can taste something again.

Just as it's not recommended that you stare into his eyes for too long, it's also ill-advised to place your hand in the vacuum space of his split torso. You may grasp his bones, he does have sensory input from them, but massages aren't very effective, no.

He's very confused by your sexual advances. What went wrong in humanity's evolution, that you would look at a harbinger of death, a collector of souls, and lust for him? Your bravery is amusing. If you're so determined, then reach for it, show him what a depraved mess your species has become.

[Ahh, that's very flattering, thenk. ////]

It's funny you say that, I spent so much time going back and forth on this guy (especially regarding coloration) that I ended up totally unmotivated by end. I was close to not even showing him and starting from scratch because I just wasn't feeling it. I'm glad he hits the spot though!

I'll need to warm up to him.

I've thought of a couple possibilities. Of course, this can only happen after the initial stages of lore I have for him.

One such case is that you're going to die soon. For some reason or another. Maybe you know it, maybe you don't, but you're fated to perish not too far from the present. During his time on Earth, Dorem finds himself almost instinctively approaching those who are ready to die. He's not exactly meant for "field work" such as this, but some primal directive tells him to harness the soul of those who are very close to parting. It's likely he finds you before you find him. He'll watch you from the shadows of your own home, waiting. Nornally, Dorem would just touch you, pluck the self right out of your husk, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. You seemed innocent, or perhaps he was just amused by you, eitherway, the monster decided to wait until you died naturally.

Except, in all that time that he spends watching you, Dorem grows attached, grows selfish, enough so that when the moment of your death comes and he's left hovering over your corpse, holding it, he becomes disturbed. Death has never frightened or bothered him. In fact, death is his life, his work. It is as natural as the air you breathe. So why does your death feel wrong? Distressing? Dorem pushes the newly released soul gently back into your being.

You return with a cut-off shriek, the air in your lungs frozen while you take in the sight of him. Similarly, Dorem himself freezes like a statue at the realization that he's enamored... Better get used to his oppressive, shiver-inducing touch, because it's all you'll be feeling now.

Alternatively, I like to picture a goofier scenario where you're part of one of the few cults spread around Earth who worship the so-fabled ruler of the undead. Those cults are probably a tad cringy, full of undead, cheesy goth types and edgelords- Dorem's disgusted honestly, but your persistence to go out of your way to bug him, the genuine admiration your eyes, the way you claim to be in servitude of him. It gets in his head, scratches an itch or two. Well, if you so charmingly proclaim to want to serve him in life and death, then maybe he should test you.