#when will hoodie!rio return from the wars

[mego42]

Best of Brio Hitlist: 1x05

Apparently I’m still doing this so that’s cool I guess. 1x05!!! Some absolutely top notch Brio content here, folks. This episode is packed with classics and overall I think makes my series top 10 list but don’t hold me to that bc I have a goldfish memory and there’s easily tons of stuff I’m not thinking about rn. 

More nonsense under the cut. 

Turner’s mustache is terrible how did I not notice how terrible it was before it’s literally all I can see

“Well maybe he didn’t know if Dean could read?” GOD WHY DID THEY SCRAP THIS LEVEL OF QUALITY CONTENT

Another flannel for Annie, still no girlfriend 

AND ANOTHER HOODIE FOR RIO

AND MORE RIO + ANNIE CONTENT

s1 truly was god tier

omfg I forgot Finn Collins was in s1 (if you didn’t watch t100 this is meaningless to you but let me just say it delights me to no end that two separate casting directors looked at that actor’s face and said yep that’s a fuckboy if I’ve ever seen one)

taking a page out of the shows book k and pretending this fake cancer storyline isn’t a thing

RIO!

HIS NAME’S RIO

oooookay

oh is his name Rio??

hEL P

I love slick!Beth and her lying superpower 

“There’s a band aid on my arm and it’s not mine” might honestly be the grossest thing this show has ever done

OKAY SO WAIT I will be the first to admit I pay v little attention to the Boland kids (for real which one is Kenny what is the other boy’s name I don’t even know) but isn’t Jane supposed to be the youngest?? And yet Beth hasn’t had sex since Emma was born???? I’m so confused

serious question does this show have a script supervisor

hello again turner’s terrible mustache

“I’m on Facebook too” tbh Rio seems more like a twitter person to me but what do I know

Before I go all caps, I love how Manny plays Rio cycling through amusement and impatience and irritation so quickly that he’s nearly doing all of them at once while dealing with Beth in the early eps, it’s such a rich performance

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME

it’s actually kind of weird hearing this line in context, I’ve watched it in videos so much it like, exists on its own

Was lowkey expecting a soundtrack to kick in after he said it and the shot to freeze frame or drop saturation

maybe something by hozier or kaleo

I’m absolutely fcking feral for the way Rio says “right, right” all slowed down and soft

Love how hittin’ it straight up bounces off of Beth’s brain, if Rio hadn’t clarified, how long do you think it would’ve taken her to figure out what he meant are we thinking minutes or would she have like, driven off the road halfway home when the shoe dropped

OH I’M SORRY SWEETHEART TELL HIM WE’RE MAKIN’ LOVE

I love love love how hard that scrambles Beth’s whole brain, I love it with my whole heart, I love how you can see it sink in, see her brain go there and then just b r e a k

Ugh god and that little smile when he ducks out after dropping that grenade what a little shit I love it

And then he leaves and that long shot where she’s like, really thinking about it

She’s totally picturing it

(same bitch)

That feels over the line my b

GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD beth and annie giving ruby their cut gets me right in the godamn feels every time I love their friendship so!!!!! much!!!!!!!!!!!

right in the honey nut feelios <- @medievalraven

the extended shot of three of of them laughing their asses off over Annie being ridiculous feels so real, it’s one of those moments that makes the show and their friendship feel so lived in and genuine, like if you’d told me that was an outtake from after they’d cut I’d believe it, it’s pure friends having a moment and it makes my heart do stuff

beth: my life long bff (who you have known as long as you’ve known me)’s daughter is in the the icu I don’t have time to eat

dean: I don’t underStaND?????!!! hOw tHIS is nOT??????!!!!????? aBoUT mE???????!!!!!!!!???????!!????????

sidebar, I miss Beth’s camel coat it looks so soft and lush and comfy 

like don’t get me wrong the black pea coat has it’s advantages as we all saw in 309

but the camel one is so classy, i love it

hello again again turner’s terrible mustache

godDAMN DO I LOVE THIS BETH AND TURNER SCENE

we don’t talk enough about the electric chemistry turner has with everyone he shares a scene with

i mean not dean but who has chemistry with dean, dean has like, negative chemistry. he’s a dampner

all of his scene’s with Beth???? W H E W

with Rio????? *fans self*

can you imagine what that threesome would be like? aside from wildly hot they’d be like a pack of praying mantises at the end all racing to rip the others head of first

it’d be a massacre

but worth it

ahem anyway

AND HE KISSED ME add this line to the list of things I’m absolutely fcking feral over 

Something about Christina’s delivery just does!!! It!!!!!! For!!!!!!! Me!!!!!!!!

Whenever people use it in videos I lose my entire godamn mind

remember when Beth was chill about the word panties

And we close with a flawless use of Phantogram 10/10 I want to send the s1 music supe a gd fruit basket

[riosnecktattoo]

so you're getting well-fitting quality!beanie!rio next episode. meanwhile, they released a whole-ass video of rio in a hoodie and i'm still waiting.

Oh, anon, you know me so well!

A QUALITY, NON FLOPPY BEANIE!? The Fisherman Rio I crave?! I will be screaming from the bottom of the well he always pushes me down.

And omg hold out hope for that Hoodie!Rio I would also Like To See It.gif

[mego42]

best of brio hitlist: 1x06

Alrighty here I am back on my bullshit with 1x06 aka A View from the Top. The top of what you may ask? I really can’t remember, s1 has basically all blurred together into a sea of excellent eyeliner and Rio in a hoodie. Guys, did you know at one point Mick had a jacket that fit? I nearly fell off of my couch. What do you think happened to it? 

Let me open this with a serious question: who in the writers room was traumatized by a doctor bc this show has a consistently unkind view of people with medical degrees 

Like obvs yes the lady doc in s3 was lying for justice and puppies and to save Rio from making rash decisions in a fit of dramatics (lol good luck lady that is a fruitless endeavor) or whatever but still, yikes

Anyway lmao @ Beth being like your budget is $1 do what you can to save my trash husband from his trash cancer

Where did that energy go it was so great

Petition for the Hills to do one musical number every other episode 

I’d say every episode but you know they’re just gonna take it from Rio’s screen time 

Such a sartorial mixed bag this scene, on the one hand you have Beth’s hat (awful, work awfully, in total competition with the scarf, not a good look) but on the other you have Annie’s jacket (adorable, I want to bury my face in her hood and never come out)

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT HOODIE RIO 3 EPS IN A ROW

AND NOW WITH A BEANIE??????

I say it again, s1 is god tier

HI MICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did not realize that Rio licking his lips is in reaction to Beth talking about how much money the girls have been turning around for him

He is so horny for money

They were made for each other tbh

Shout out to Ruby’s hysterically unsurprised face when Beth swerves and asks for more money instead of quitting that is the face of someone who has been on this ride for Way Too Long

Ruby: in hindsight we should’ve never let Beth talk I see that now

GO BIG OR GO HOME RIGHT what a nerd I love her

Ruby: I am actually going to commit murder here and now

“Brought that mama van with you?” Why is this so hot I don’t understand nothing about it should be sexual least of all minivans

The way Beth straightens up and gives that perky little I did good!!!!!! nod is so fucking cute I want to punch myself in the face

YOU CANT JUST SERVE A BITCH A MINI MUFFIN AND ASK HER TO JOIN YOU IN A LIFE OF CRIME

A CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!

Cut to Ruby serving a bitch a mini muffin, I really do love this show

HI TYLER!!!!!!!!!

Okay now there’s like, a preteen girl Boland child??!!! Where are these children coming from?????? Where do they go????????

I’m going to say something potentially controversial: I’m deeply unmoved by and largely uninterested in the whole thing with Annie and Boomer’s racist grandma 

Tyler: you can just call corporate right???? It’s not like this is a poorly thought through farce of a pyramid scheme with holes big enough to drive a bus through right?????????

It has been driving me bonkers since the first time I watched this ep trying to figure out who Christine Hendricks looks like in the brunette wig someone please put me out of my misery and tell me

Hey!!! Did you know I fucking hate Dean??????? 

I have mixed feelings on the sit down/that’s exactly what happened thing like on the one hand I love watching Beth effortlessly play Dean, but on the other the knowledge that the breathy baby doll voice she uses does it for him makes my skin crawl

I violently do not like when the Hills have conflict so I am electing to ignore it entirely

I missed everything that happened during the Boomer scene(s) because I was looking at Schitt’s Creek gifsets and I stand by my choices

I find the girls sitting on the swings weirdly endearing and I also really adore the framing of that shot

Seriously do not understand why they did away with everyone dragging Dean it was such a great feature

‘CUZ YOU DELIVERED

GOD!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! THE SMILES!!!!!!!!!!!

Rio: (✿◕ ﺮ ◕)

Beth: (◠‿◠✿)

Mick, Ruby and Annie: right???? in front?????? of our salad????????

My ultimate gg kink is, to no one’s surprise least of all my own, Beth surprising and impressing Rio and Rio instantly getting a boner over it

I would like to formally request they bring back this dynamic in some way shape or form specifically as a present to me bc I deserve it

In Beth and Ruby’s defense, the flip my game speech makes minimal sense, there were several poorly supported leaps

Shout out to Annie’s blazer and side boob, it is my all time fav Annie look

hey look my icon

Stan smelling the cash and goofing around with Ruby: 😍

Knowing Ruby’s still lying and it’s all gonna fall apart: 😥

I don’t think I properly realized until right now, as I’m nearly blinded by my tears of mirth over Dean saying “he’s never going to mess with you again, not on my watch” how much I love the dress Beth is wearing

This has been a very fashionable ep for the Marks sisters, Beth’s hat aside

The it was a choice speech would slap so much harder if Beth finished it off by stabbing Dean in the eye with a pair of scissors instead of dumping a bunch of money all over him

Takeaway from this episode: honestly it’s no wonder Beth is so bad at being a crime lord she had a horrible teacher that speech was truly insensible 

[mego42]

Best of Brio Hitlist: 1x04

Alright, so I am making my way through the Brio hitlist and due to a combination of @sothischickshe​’s encouragement and my own inability to have a thought about a tv show without sharing it with the internet, I’ve decided to foist my reactions upon you as I go. Cool? Cool. 

Onward under the read more!

I will be super honest I do not remember what happens this ep it’s been a minute (somewhere between 2 months and 84 years, time has lost all meaning)

Oh right!!! Eddie!!!!

I’m sorry this is after the pearls and the kitchen bourbon showdown????? How did that not make the hitlist??????? 

Fine, whatever

The main point of this rewatch is for the Beth and Rio content but sidebar shoutout to the the way Ruby hands that entitled little milkshake drinking pissant his entire ass in front of his friends and then later in front of his karen of a mother

Before there was jumpsuit!Annie we had heavy eyeliner and flannel!Annie aka they have been dressing her like a bisexual the entire time which makes her lack of a girlfriend that much more erroneous 

“He’s not my bff I don’t even know that guys name” 

I legitimately forgot that they learned Rio’s name from Eddie’s call history which makes it entirely possible that is not actually even his name, amazing

HOODIEEEEEEE RIOOOOOOOOOOOO

“who’s at fault is not important” classic beth

S3 may have become a drag but here’s a plus I haven’t properly appreciated: with the exception of one ep, no Boomer

Question for the class: is Turner supposed to be bi/pan/queer (vs gay) or did the writers forget he talked about being into girls in s1

G O D the s1 soundtrack slapped

I ship tf out of Annie and Gregg and none of you can stop me I SAID WHAT I SAID

I’M ONE SORRY BITCH!!!! A CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!! 

It’s depressing how much I can’t even enjoy Beth and Dean being estranged bc I know how little it’s ultimately going to matter 

and lo! A wild Rio appears!!

please @ god @ Santa bring back Rio dragging Dean

🎶I see it I want it 🎶 #rioisbeyonce

I miss when Beth cared about things and got mad about stuff and wasn’t just generally numb and shut down and tired

The bullet holes in the van and the stickers Beth puts over them remains on of my all time favorite minor visual gags the show’s ever done

SO WHICH ONE OF YALL BITCHES LIKE TO PULL PANTS DOWN

Crying hours that Eddie didn’t get to stick around tbh he was gr9

HOOOOOODIIIIIIEEEEE RIIIIOOOOOOO X2!!!!!!!!!!

god do y’all remember when the show used to do multiple meaningful Rio scenes per episode

and multiple hoodies???????? truly I am blessed

OH YOU GUYS DIDNT HIT ME UP TO DO BRUNCH

RIO NOT KNOWING WHAT TO MAKE OF ANNIE

ILL NEVER SMUGGLE ANYTHING UP MY BUTT (Annie’s like I mean....how much will you pay me)

BETH CALLING RIO A BITCH

RIO BEING LOWKEY INTO IT

THAT LIP!!!!!!!!

I fcking love that gd scene so much

shockingly low amount of stupidity this episode (obvs I am not including Dean in this statement) Beth and Rio clearly haven’t been in each other’s orbit long enough

Biggest takeaway: for real though the s1 soundtrack S L A P P E D

Second biggest take away: half of s3′s problems would be solved if Beth and Rio could take naps and get some of this energy back

Third biggest takeaway: s1 was so FUN I can’t believe I only watched this show for the first time what? 2 months ago? and I’ve already forgotten how fun it used to be

march 2020 was a fcking trip y’all

awww now I have a sad

what do you guys think Mick’s doing? shopping for tiny jackets? dreaming of hot tubs? can’t believe there was a time he wasn’t really a thing