#when we needed him the most he disappeared

[foolishaetherguardian]

“… and be sure to report any further unusual tectonic activity. Dismissed.” Bats finally finished the report. Why was he here? Right the first five minutes had been about the possibility of magic having been used. This really should have been an email he just ignored or left Zatanna to deal with. Bunny girl was better at feigning interest than he was after all. “John, Zatanna if you would both remain.”

Damn the brat. Why did the inter dimensional brat decide today to bug him? John knew he could pop up at literally any point in time like it was normal. It was revenge. For what offense he didn’t know. Or maybe he hadn’t even done it yet. Stupid fifth dimensional traveling.

“… stantine. CONSTANTINE.” “Bugger off.”

“John.”

Shit. Okay first names were bad with the cape. Like find a new existence and disappear off the face of the planet bad.

“Right sorry mate just, distracted.”

“The fact that an eldritch horror from who knows where was hanging off you like a scarf actually had some effect on you? You must be getting sentimental in your old age.”

“Love we both know that if it was weighing on me I wouldn’t be around to talk. You wouldn’t be either.” John had some respect for Zatanna. She was a good mage. Understood the proper importance of a cigarette and a blokes need to keep up appearances. Usually at least. “Got a cig?”

“Those will kill you someday.” The disapproval and sarcasm rolled off her tongue as smooth as the honeyed lies the lass would use with magic. John wanted to quip back but settled for a death glare as the big bad bat threatened to perfect his own death glare on him. Why did the bat have to be such a stickler? Rules rules rules. Rules don’t save lives when they shackle you from good. Damnit. Why were all the big dogs so damn… good?

“Hrm.”

Right the bat. The bat that right now probably wanted to string him up by his ankles and let the archdemons sort out how to cut him into nice even thirds if his damned rules didn’t stop him. Why did he have a cigarette?

“Uh bats?”

“Hrm.”

Just as loquacious as always that cape. Keep that thought inside. Definitely keep the thought inside. Especially as you take that stupidly expensive cigarette.

“Thanks. I could really…” The cig was hard. It was candy. The bat almost had an actual expression under the cowl, there was the slightest tightness of the lips. A smirk. He was smirking. ”You know what? Fuck you.” The fake cig crunched in his mouth. It actually tasted pretty good. Not that he was going to ever let anyone know that. “I’m going home. Hopefully to eat my leftovers. The brat isn’t a threat. If you want to know just ask the lass about the between or the Infinite. Or better yet go ask Grundy about The Protector.”

God he needed a drink. And a smoke. And maybe another drink. John was pretty sure that his food was gone too.

“How old is he?”

Dammit lass. Why did you always know just what to say? “14…. I think.” John replied stopping at the door to the stupid tech magic tubes that Supes had insisted on. “He’s some other world’s hero.”

The lass had to think on that one. Not every day you meet an alternate. “Is he… okay?”

“He’s doing alright. Insists his parents couldn’t understand though, so he always carries it alone. Protects people that way, or so he says.” John finally let himself laugh. It was a fitting description of most of the capes who worked with the league. And himself. If he was generous. Pity he couldn’t afford to be generous with himself anymore. “I’m just his fallback. And debit card.”

“It would do him some good to meet others. If you can invite him to the next picnic.”

John blinked slowly. Then turned. The Bat had a smile. A proper smile. Soft and understanding. How? The man was almost certainly just a mass inhuman muscle and brains with the bare minimum speech capability bundled into a bat suit. “I’ll make sure to offer it. But he’s still weird about his… abilities.”

“I’ll get him added to the budget.”

“Budget?” Now this was sounding promising. While the league did pay it wasn’t much more than rent for the closet he used to access the house.

“For young heroes or metas under league guidance. One of the points Bruce Wayne insisted on when he decided to find us officially. So they have a safe place.”

“I’m a safe place?” John’s incredulity was finally outweighing his paranoia. A hefty feat considering even he considered himself to be 90% paranoia by volume.

“Sure sounds like it mate.” Only the lass could say something so damning like it was a good thing.

“{Guess so}” Why did he understand the grunt? Are the grunts some secret dad cape speak? Why was he suddenly qualified for…. Nope. Nope. He’s going home. Sleep liquor and maybe a bit of tele. No he wasn’t tearing up. And no one could see his face to tell you otherwise.

Danny has met Constantine.

Constantine has a coat.

Danny regularly pops out of it to say hi or when Constantine calls him for something.

Nobody in the JL knew this, so when Danny popped right on out in the middle of a meeting.

Well.

[local-lamppost]

Act 3 Thoughts

Watched Wicked, came home, waited 20 minutes, binged Act 3. I do not recommend this lifestyle. Anyway...

I was so satisfied with where we ended up, but I would have also appreciated about 20 minutes to an hour more. It felt like some beats were skipped over, they wanted to get to specific endings and didn't have the time to wrap them up as neatly as I would've liked.

Maddie is a good example. She's a plant for Ambessa, okay but when and why did she become one? She couldn't have been one before Cait being named commander and when we next see her she's pushing for Cait to take power back from Ambessa. Did Ambessa just message her right after Cait and Vi started working together again as like a "the woman you love's actual love is back in the picture, you can either wallow or get revenge with me", but also made a smarmy remark about Cait 'at least being warm' or something. We didn't need to absolve Cait or villainize Maddie for their 'relationship' because they didn't even have a relationship-just a coping mechanism for Cait, similar to Vi's drinking. At best it was all unnecessary and at worst a waste of time.

Away from that, I want to focus on some good.

I am officially a JayVik shipper now. Them disappearing into a void together, encircled with each other, after Viktor spend however long within timelines/multiverses in hopes of finding a Jayce able to bring him back to his humanity? Come on, they needed to kiss. Especially after Jayce and Mel's low key break up. Honestly we were denied the three of them working together, because they would have been unstoppable.

Speaking of Mel, I love her. I love her design, her powers, her matricide, her taking command of Ambessa's armies, etc. I wish we could have seen more of her adapting to her new powers, finding peace with what she now is. There could have been a cool interaction with Viktor over how Arcane power has changed them both for better and worse.

I don't think Mel's story is done. With other characters, I can see them coming in for future story arcs as like, cameos or background details, but if the next LoL story is in Noxus I fully expect Mel to be a major player again.

Back to Jayce. I like Jayce, that could be my Arcane hot take, and I definitely want to write something more in depth on him. On all the characters really. For now, I'll just say that his determination to destroy everything he has built, because the only creation worth saving is his relationship with Viktor is just... glorious.

Viktor was amazing. I love Viktor in the lore, and they took his traits from the lore and amped them up to eleven. His body being destroyed and rebuilt, the process of which has chipped away his humanity and mutilated his dreams. He lives up to his own quote: "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. We have to make it right."

Ekko is a character I never realize I miss. That sounds mean, it probably is, but I am never the less so happy to see him every time. It's like finding the missing piece you didn't even know was lost: that is Ekko to me. His mini adventure in the parallel universe was adorable. Us getting to see what could've been alongside learning what matters most to Ekko, him getting a taste of a near perfect life and still choosing to return to his own time. That's why Ekko is the true hero of this story.

In terms of Jinx, I'll just say I'm not a hundred percent sure she's dead. The airship leaving at the end followed by her scribbled sign off, plus not getting a dead body shot. It was definitely left open ended. Her looking to do something good, to not mess up, alongside her fear of not wanting to try again because she is just tired of failure, of being a Jinx, was too real in many ways. I will go in depth on her at a later date.

Caitlyn's arc is going to be argued about, no question. It needed more time (see the start of this long post) to make her point of her anger burning away, of it not being sustainable, hit harder. I would have made her realize what her anger was doing to Vi, have Jinx point out that they really are acting the same in their treatment of Vi, and use the whole Ambessa was literally stoking the fires of her hatred to help fit what time they had left. Honestly just have Cait learn Ambessa was the one behind the memorial attack, that would be a much better way to explain her anger diminishing enough to look beyond her own hurt to realize and take account of her mistakes.

Vi, as usual, needed more screen time. Not necessarily because her story would've been helped by it like in act two, but just because I wanted her to have more time to enjoy her life. I went into act three with the sole hope that Vi would have a nice day, only for her to loose everything again. The only people she has left are Cait and Ekko, and god help anyone who tries something against those too now. Her ending being the chance to finally rest, to lean on someone else, was beautiful. She is my favorite character and please let her have only good things in the future, she was traumatized in almost every scene this season please-

Nobody tell Vi that in a universe where she died young everyone else ended up living. It would destroy her.

Vi and Cait relationship was great. I wouldn't say it was rushed in act three, because it felt like it was where it should be for a final batch of episodes, if that makes sense. It felt like the set up was Cait being genuinely remorseful and Vi just wanting someone in her life who wanted her in return. It helps that they have great chemistry and that when given the chance they fit so neatly together. I think Jinx encouraging Vi to be with Cait is what sold it to me. Jinx realizing how much Vi has given/sacrificed and giving her blessing for her sister to be happy with someone she disapproves of; not to mention Cait pulling the guards from their posts to give Vi the chance to actually meet Jinx in order to have that conversation. All in all, it comes down to Vi's "I don't care" because that's really all there is too it for them. Vi is done being miserable and Cait makes her happy, vice versa. Cait is someone Vi can rely on, Vi is someone Cait can find strength in.

Spitfire round:

Sevika being made a councilor

Every single one of Mel, Cait, and Jayce's designs were 10/10s

Vi not being given an actual uniform, just armor and the gloves

Jinx cutting her hair further to match Vi

Ekko getting his crystal sword/bats

Heimerdinger dying after living a life where he could make his city something to be proud of

I was fully expecting Vander and Silco to kiss in that one shot

Everything with Benzo

Loris' name being said

Vi humming the song and the song being their mother's lullaby

Viktor being held within the Herald

Sky leaving so Viktor was free to bring Jayce to his space mind palace

Caitlyn's rifle never surviving

Fishman McBlue being the only one of Cait's soldiers to stick to his guns and stay loyal

Sevika and Shoola side eyeing each other

Vander and little Vi and Powder with the bunny

The bunny being a passenger on Jinx's balloon

Singed's messed up family getting a happy ending

[captain039]

On the edge

Alpha Jayce x omega reader

Warnings: AOB, light swearing, feral alpha, intimacy, angst, Spoilers? Fated mates

Jayce returns changed from whatever he was in. Changed and feral with animalistic needs over glowing him

When a medical officer came to your door you were truely not prepared for what you saw. They had timidly ask you to follow them without any other explanation and you were confused and worried afraid one of your family members had been injured but seeing him, in a white room with a simple mattress on the floor and nothing else broke your heart. When Jayce disappeared you didn’t know what to do, his mother heart broken, Viktor gone, Mel gone half the council dead, Caitlyn turning into head enforcer, and you stuck sitting in a lab with neither Jayce or Viktor by your side. You were by Jayce’s side the whole time Viktor was in that strange case of whatever it was, the hextech fused into this giant healing bath almost. You didn’t know what to do watching the alpha loose part of his small close pack, his best friend and then he disappeared went into the hextech core room and never came back with either of his companions till now.

You stared at the alpha, his jaw so tense you were afraid he’d break teeth. His teeth were bared and he was panting heavily hands fisted by his side. You see his bracelet stone now fused into his skin, you see the wolf untamed hair on his head the beard he’d grown, what happened to him?

“We’ve been unable to reach him” the medical officer says beside you and you barely register their words eyes wide mouth slightly part as you stare at Jayce. The once clean golden boy, turned into this.

“We’ve tried everything. We did a mate test on him” you freeze at those words. You half figured it was Mel, but she’s gone too. A mate test was a pricey test you could get if you wish to find your fated, though most people left it down to chance but now it was harder and harder to find one so people gave up while scientists made a new way to find them.

“Mel?” You ask and they shake their making you frown.

“Who?” You ask frowning.

“You my lady” the medical officer says and you frown how the hell were you his mate? You’ve known him your whole life and nothing?

“That’s not possible” you whisper and the officer gives a small sad smile.

“I guess you want me to- go in there?” You ask gesturing to his white room.

“It would be dangerous. he cannot see us through the screen so we will turn it on so he can” the officer waves a hand to the security camera and the alphas body flinches staring at the now two way window. His eyes are the same but different somehow wild, untamed with hunger maybe. You don’t know what to do as he looks to the officer and growls like some wild beast and charges at the glass fists pounding against it making you flinch and step back. He doesn’t notice you too busy with this wild look at the officer.

“Few officers will be around him due to this behaviour I have chosen to stay but he doesn’t like that” the officer comments and you nod.

“Right” you mutter.

Nothing changed for a week, he never looks at you only whoever is beside you having some bad memory and rage towards them. You’re starting to think he doesn’t know who you are and your heart breaks. You’ve slowly come of your suppressors as the officers request, it took a few weeks to adjust but now you feel semi normal as you head back to the facility. You hate the looks you get seeing as natural born omegas are few to none around here in the upper city. You look at Jayce in his room he’s sitting on his bed staring at the ceiling a muscle twitching every now and then his knuckles are bruised and bloodied as always and he looks worse, hollow eyes with big dark eye bags. You hesitate at the door looking to the camera as the door buzzes and unlocks. You head inside seeing Jayce up instantly and snarling. The door seals behind you and you stand very still unsure how to approach or say him in this state. He eyes you and you eye him for what feels like forever before he begins to walk over your whole body tense as his eyes stay on yours intensely before he’s a foot away. You frown at his changed scent missing his old one.

“Jay-“ before you can even finish you’re pressed against the door the wind knocked out of you, your arms pinned above your head and hot breath on your neck. You’re frozen in fear never had him be this rough or physical before he always gave the best hugs but he wasn’t an overly touchy person. He’s panting harshly and he’s overly warm almost feverish as his hands grip your wrists tightly and his head rests by your neck. He’s too close but not close enough suddenly your omega senses already haywire from coming off suppressants. He lifts his head up eyes hard and narrowed as he stares at you before something flicks on them. Recognition? Realisation? You don’t know but his eyes soften his hands loosen and his shoulders drop as tears well in his eyes and he mutters your name. Relief floods you like tidal wave and you almost want to cry too as Jayce lets your wrists go wraps his arms around your waist and presses himself impossibly close. His face is buried in your neck and you wrap your arms around his neck crying silently. He breathes heavily as he cry’s his strong arms tight around your waist like he’s afraid to let go.

“You’re ok” you whisper taking a shaky breath, hand brushing against his neck and through his long hair. He shakes his head and you frown trying to pull back but he doesn’t let go holding you tighter instead.

“Jayce- I can’t breathe” you say and he relaxes his arms but doesn’t let go you take in a breath just running your fingers over the base of his skull and down his neck and back up. He twitches sometimes and it makes you worry but after a while he lets go wiped his eyes and looks at you. You watch though as something glazes in his eyes like a shade and he’s tense and on edge again jaw clenched and he glares and snarls storming away from you. You stare in confusion as the alpha sits down and stares at the ceiling again, the door buzzes and unlocks and you slip out still confused.

“What was that?” You ask the medical officer.

“Something happened to him, made him feral” she says.

“Feral?” You say shocked there’s hardly been any feral alphas in the upper city.

“This is the first time he’s been out of it” she comments tapping on her holotablet.

“How do we get him back?” You ask frowning.

“It’s a hard process, we can try the subtle way or the medical way” she comments.

“Subtle way?” You ask.

“We coax him out by doing daily things, normal things, trying to reteach him I guess you could say, you’d be our main candidate for him to see” she explains.

“And the medical way?” You whisper.

“We operate on him, send electrical currents to rewrite his brain” she says like it’s no big deal and you flinch but nod.

“Subtle way, has his mother been by?” You ask.

“Yes” she says simply and you figure you won’t get much more than that from her as you nod, thank her and leave the facility. You walk to Ms Talis home knock on the door you haven’t spoken to her in a while.

“Oh” she says as she opens the door seeing you saying your name before urging you inside. She makes you tea and you both sit down at the table.

“I saw Jayce today” you say quietly unsure of how to step. A deep sadness etched her features and she nods.

“How is he?” She asks.

“He recognised me” you whisper and she jolts and looks to you.

“I went into the room today, it was brief for five minutes he didn’t say anything though before he went back-“ you hate saying the word feral, such a barbaric term. You watch as Jayces mums eyes fill with tears and you give her hand a comforting squeeze.

“We’ll get your boy back Ms Talis” you whisper to her in promise.

Next Part ->

[hannieoftheyear]

Warning Signal (jww) TEASER

Two targets you need to figure out, alongside the one person you most despise, and zero mistakes allowed.

As the lives of your targets get more and more intertwined, and your plan gets more complicated, memories of the past and feelings you thought you could put aside threaten to ruin the mission.

pairing: criminal!wonwoo x criminal!reader

w.c: 915 (for the teaser), full work will be over 20k

release date: tbd

genre: exes to partners in crime to lovers, violence, angst, smut (not in the teaser)

content warnings (for the full work): vague descriptions of what their "job" actually is, criminal acts, stalking, spying, invasion of privacy, use of fake names, fake identities, stealing (both reader and wonwoo do all of the above), mentions of guns, fight scenes, blood, murder, death (not the main characters) | the story will contain flashbacks written in cursive (such as this teaser)

note: this is very different from what i've been posting so far, but i had a dream about a similar story and couldn't get it out of my mind.

on that note, i'm not sure when i'll be able to finish this bc it's taking a lot of time to make sure everything makes sense and for the relationship to be fully fleshed out. it might be done by january (that sounds so weird to say omg)

if anyone wants to be on the taglist, comment this post!

“The bit is over Wonwoo, go home.”

“Let’s just work together, one last time.” His voice reaches closer and closer from behind you until you stop walking and force yourself to face him. 

“Not only do I not need your help, I especially don’t want it.” 

“Look, I’m not asking you to forgive me, just–” He appears to have regretted what he was about to say, and you don’t wait for him to gather his thoughts. 

“Just what? Understand it? We’re way past that don’t you think?” 

“We’re good together,” your brain glitches with astonishment before he corrects himself, “We always worked better when we did these jobs together, you know that.” 

“You have some serious nerve, after last time, the least I should do it rat you out right this second.” 

“You wouldn’t do that, it’s not your style.” 

“To fuck over my partners? No, that’s yours.” 

He's trying to charm his way into your life again, like the past few months could disappear at the flash of a smile, and you'll be damned if you let him.  

“Let’s just see it as a mere trade of information, nothing more.” Neither his voice nor his expression suggests that he’s trying to deceive you, and you hate that you're even considering his offer.  

“And I wouldn’t have to see your face ever again after?” 

“That would be your loss, but sure. One last job and we’d be done.” 

“Are you being serious?” 

It’s hard to trust him. No matter how much he insists it’s his only goal. But it’s true that whatever knowledge he collected on that dude would save you a lot of time and resources, and you have to do this job well to prove yourself to your boss. 

“Dead serious. I promise.” 

A year before… 

The waitress, with purple bags under her eyes and bleach blonde hair tied up in a bun on the edge of falling undone, sighed on the way to tell the same client, for the fourth time in two hours, that it was prohibited to smoke inside the establishment. You saw that man doing countless other illegal things while sitting on that same dark booth the entire night, but the bar drew the line at smoking indoors. 

He huffed at her but ultimately put the cigarette out against the wood table. There were fewer and fewer people the more the time passed, and soon enough, it was going to be too suspicious for you to still be there. You couldn’t be the only customer left in the bar when he left, but the person he was still waiting for was the key to all this, and you couldn’t leave without that information. 

An ‘80s country song started playing on the radio, and the man started tapping his fingers against the table, following the rhythm of the classic. It was almost serene, the way he relaxed at the sound of the familiar tune, but the night started to feel more and more like a waste of time. Whatever the deal was with the person who wasn’t showing up, it was clearly not happening. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” A familiar figure sat in front of you at the secluded booth you kidnapped for the whole night. But the smile that appeared on your face at him quickly dissipated. 

“You shouldn’t be here. It’s too empty.” Besides the staff, you and the old man, there were only three people inside the dusty bar at that time, all alone, too drunk and on the brink of leaving. It was almost impossible not to stand out in that crowd. 

“Don’t worry, I called in a few favors.” Just as Wonwoo finished his sentence, a group of at least ten men, talking loudly and in the mood to celebrate something, walked into the tiny bar, disrupting the serenity but providing you with much needed cover. 

“You’re so... resourceful.” Your words mixed with a giggle as the atmosphere changed from calm and musty to a playful bachelor-esque party inside the bar. “How did you know I was here?” 

“I always know where you are, baby.” A chill climbed up your spine at his teasing smile. “And also, I was waiting for a guy to show up here. He’s supposed to be meeting someone.” 

The loud laugh that escaped you almost beat the drunk shouting of the bachelors in volume. It was easy to connect the dots, and it also wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. 

“You know something I don’t?” Wonwoo’s eyes didn’t stray away from the smile on your lips. 

You just giggled as your eyes darted towards the sketchy old man, who was back to smoking, seeing that the staff’s attention was focused on the new customers. You could feel Wonwoo’s gaze stay on you for a second before following yours, and the realization hit him quickly, the years of working together serving their purpose. 

“Yours?” The amusement in his voice made you nod eagerly, sipping on the mocktail that had been sitting untouched on the table for over an hour. “It’s been a while.” 

This job, the thing that you do for a living, got lonely every now and then. Doing everything on your own, not being able to share it with the people closest to you, can take a toll on anyone, no matter how detached they're able to get. So, when you got a chance to work with the one you love, you were for sure gonna take it. 

“I know, it’s gonna be fun.”  

thank you for reading! i love this story and i cant wait to finish it so you all can finally read it!

remember! if you want to join the taglist, comment on this post ♡

[allthemeniveloved]

Little Rat

Summary: Arthur Morgan saves you from an uncomfortable encounter with Micah.

-

The fire crackled low in the center of camp, casting flickering shadows against the trees surrounding Clemens Point. Most of the gang had turned in for the night, save for a few stragglers nursing drinks by the embers. You were tidying up your things near your tent, the quiet hum of the crickets offering a small sense of peace—until you heard the unmistakable drawl.

“Well, look who’s all alone in the dark,” Micah Bell said, stepping into your line of sight with that irritating smirk plastered across his face. His eyes glinted in the dim light, and you instantly felt your guard go up.

“Micah,” you said tersely, keeping your tone neutral. “What do you want?”

He feigned offense, holding a hand to his chest. “Now, that’s no way to greet someone, is it? Just tryin’ to be sociable, sweetheart. Seems like you could use the company.”

You shot him a cold glare. “I don’t need anything, least of all from you.”

Micah chuckled low, ignoring your clear discomfort as he took another step closer, his presence pressing in on you. “Now, now. Don’t be like that. I think you and me, we could get along real well if you’d just stop actin’ so high and mighty. Ain’t nobody else around, anyway. What’s the harm?”

You stepped back instinctively, your pulse quickening. “Back off, Micah,” you warned, trying to keep your voice steady.

He didn’t listen. Instead, he reached out, his hand gripping your arm as he leaned in closer. “Aw, c’mon, darlin’. Don’t be like that. I don’t bite.”

Before you could push him away, a deep voice growled from the shadows. “Touch her again, Micah, and you won’t have a hand left to use.”

Both of you turned toward the source of the voice, and there he was—Arthur Morgan, standing at the edge of the firelight. His hat was pulled low, his jaw set tight, and his hand rested casually on the butt of his pistol.

Micah straightened, sneering. “Well, if it ain’t Arthur Morgan,” he spat. “You always gotta stick your nose where it don’t belong cowpoke?”

Arthur didn’t answer right away. Instead, he took a slow, deliberate step forward, his gaze locked on Micah with a look that could freeze the blood in your veins. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, but it carried an unmistakable weight. “Ain’t no need to explain yourself, Micah. Just walk away.”

Micah raised his hands in mock surrender, a smirk tugging at his lips, “I was only paying her a compliment, that’s all.”

“You keep your compliments - and yourself - far away from her, or you’ll be eating the dirt under my boots. Got it?”

Micah hesitated, his eyes darting between you and Arthur. He opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur’s hand moved slightly on his pistol, and that was enough to send Micah scowling back toward his tent with a muttered curse.

Once Micah disappeared into the darkness, Arthur turned to you, his expression softening ever so slightly. “You alright?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly.

You nodded, though your heart was still pounding. “I am now. Thank you.”

Arthur grunted, his hand falling away from his holster as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Didn’t mean to get involved, but… couldn’t just stand there watchin’ him bother you like that.”

You offered a small, grateful smile. “I’m glad you did. He’s… persistent.”

Arthur’s jaw tightened again, and he glanced toward where Micah had gone. “He tries it again, you let me know,” he said, his tone sharp with barely restrained anger. “I’ll make sure he don’t forget his place.”

There was something in his gaze when he looked at you—something fierce and protective, but also hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he should let you see it. You didn’t know what to say, caught off guard by how much safer you felt just standing near him.

“Thank you, Arthur,” you said again, softer this time. “I mean it.”

He looked away, his cheeks tinged red beneath his scruffy beard. “Don’t gotta thank me,” he muttered, almost embarrassed. “Just… don’t like seein’ you get hurt, is all.”

As he started to walk away, you caught yourself staring after him, wondering why your heart felt a little lighter, even after what had just happened. Arthur, on the other hand, kept his back to you, his fists clenched as he cursed himself for not saying more—for not telling you the truth about why he couldn’t stand the thought of Micah or anyone else getting too close to you.

-

a/n: I’m feeling so unbelievably productive & creative this week and the thoughts are just flowing but I just know I’m going to crash this weekend or next week and not write again for another 7 years

[coffeeghoulie]

our time now if you want it to be

In the safety of their nest, Aether and Dew spend what may be their last night together.

Explicit, 7k. Contains Water/Fire Hybrid!Dew, discussions/mentions of mortality, medical trauma, minor character death, discussions of elemental transition/Era III-IV transition, anal sex, lovemaking, mating rituals, and some blood.

title from The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy.

divider by @wrathofrats <3

Aether's hand covers the entirety of Dew's upper arm. He stares at where his thumb smooths over cool grey skin, silver freckles glittering like scales on his shoulder.

Besides where a little moonlight pools in through the curtains, the room is dark and quiet. Neither of them can sleep, and neither want to speak at risk of breaking the tentative peace. Let themselves pretend that the inevitability of tomorrow isn't coming.

Silver blue eyes glance up at Aether, glowing in the darkness. Gills flutter, breath cool yet shaky. "Aether, if-"

Aether squeezes his eyes shut, arms tightening around Dew's lean body as every muscle in his body tenses. "No, darling, I-"

Dew snarls, hands flying up to grab the sides of Aether's face. He forces Aether to meet his eyes, aquamarine to amethyst. It's the most painful thing Aether's felt in the last few months.

Never mind the public deposal of his Papa. Never mind the sudden disappearance of practically his entire pack. Never mind Mountain vanishing into the forest, gone for so long that Aether quietly fears he's been taken too. Never mind what he knows will come when the sun rises.

Meeting the eyes of the ghoul he loves hurts like nothing else.

"Aether, I need you to listen to me," Dew says, voice strained with the sheer effort of keeping steady and level. "Ugh. Fuck. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. If- don't you fucking dare interrupt me, Aether- if the ritual doesn't work, if I-"

His voice cracks dangerously. Dew snarls, shakes his head.

"Aether, I don't want to have any regrets if this goes poorly." His gaze burns, blue flame hot, into Aether's eyes. "I want to have been your mate. I want to be yours, by scent and scar."

Aether's eyes go wide, even as his heart drops through his stomach. The silence of their room is cut through by the sound of a heart monitor, shrill and harsh. He shakes his head to clear his mind, but he still hears Delta's wheezing groan before he can force the memory away.

"Dew, I-" Aether cuts himself off. He squeezes his eyes shut so hard it hurts.

"You don't?" Dew asks, and Aether winces at the accusatory tone. "Have the last couple years meant nothing to you?"

"No, don't you dare even think that," Aether says. He still can't open his eyes. His stomach churns. But Dew doesn't stop.

"You know I've wanted to be yours since the moment I had to help Omega haul you out of the summoning circle."

"I know," Aether says, voice pitching up strained like he's just been punched in the gut. "And I've wanted to be yours just as long."

"Then why not." It's so quiet his ears strain to pick it up, but it shatters him all the same. "Why not, Aether."

The scent of fresh meltwater and lilies and candle smoke is swamped over with sterile, harsh disinfectant. Aether almost chokes on it even though he knows his brain is providing him with another memory. He hangs his head, tries to focus on Dew's hands on his cheeks. Aether retreats a little into his mind.

"I, Dew, I don't think I could survive it," Aether admits, voice going flat. "It's selfish."

Dew's tail lashes against the sheets. They're a mix of his own bedding and Dew's. Something he'd called a hearth. "Selfish? Don't you think we deserve a little selfish right now?"

Aether grits his teeth. "No, it wouldn't be selfish to get mated," he tries to backpedal. "I mean. With tomorrow. Even if, best case scenario, we see the day after. I can't, Dew. I took care of him when he was going. I can't do it again. Especially if this time I can feel it happening."

He opens his eyes just in time to watch Dew's brow furrow in realization. "You mean what happened to Dell."

Aether winces like he's been hit. Dew's gaze bores through him. Pins him and flays him open like a particularly interesting moth to a specimen board.

"Aether," Dew says, a little harsher. Still quiet. The peace, albeit a little rickety, is still maintained. "You think that that's going to happen to me?"

His silence is as good an answer as anything.

"Look at me, Aether," Dew almost growls. He waits until Aether complies. "That's why you won't mate me?"

"From what you've told me, that's why you want to mate me," Aether says. The words taste bitter, and he regrets them the moment they're out on the air, impossible to take back.

Dew shrinks back, looks away. He's close enough that Aether can hear the way Dew's throat works when he swallows hard. His scent morphs, not quite as sweet, almost minerally, like hard water. Aether wants nothing more to pull him against his chest and never let him go, wants his scent to go back to that comforting, familiar thing. Wants it burned into his sinuses so he's never able to forget it.

But he isn't sure how his touch will be taken, so he doesn't, as much as the minute distance hurts him physically.

"Aether, I- I think I'm gonna be alright," Dew says confidently, but Aether knows him. The waver there means Dew's trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to convince Aether. "Dell was straight water, maybe a little earth somewhere in his pod Down Below. The quint..." he trails off.

Aether swallows hard, waits for Dew to keep talking. Wants to hear his voice.

"The quint didn't take."

That sure is one way to put what happened. "The quint didn't take," Aether echoes uselessly. His mind supplies yet another memory, a ghoul in an infirmary bed, but this time, instead of Delta, it's Dewdrop laying there instead. Already lithe frame gone smaller, weaker. And instead of just watching, this time Aether can feel it pulling, aching, burning.

Dew must notice his distress, must smell the way thunderstorms shift over his own scent. But he keeps talking. "I'm not all water, you know," he says, like he's admitting a secret. But Aether knows this already, whispered confessions curled up together after some of the best sex of his life. "My dam was fire. Didn't know her, was raised with my aunt's school in the Fifth, but there is a part of me that's fire."

"I know," Aether breathes.

"The ritual should latch on to that instead of starting from scratch. I should be okay."

Aether nods, pulls Dew into his chest. "Should," He whispers.

Dew shakes his head, gives a little huff. "Aether," he tries again. "I know it's selfish. I want you to mate me. I want you to be mine, and me yours. Regardless of what happens in the morning. But, Aeth, this might be our last chance."

Something deep in the very core of Aether's chest shatters, a too old elastic band that snaps. He takes Dew's face in his hands, big enough to cover the entire sides of his head. Feels the finned ears twitch under his palms.

"Dewdrop, I cannot bear the thought of losing you," he says, pressing his forehead to Dew's and breathing him in. "It will destroy me. And even that's before a matebond. I might as well just throw myself on the pyre with you."

"Don't say that, I'm not dead yet," Dew huffs, but they both grimace after the words are said.

"But there is the chance," he presses, tries to get him to understand. Has heard stories and rumors of matepairs, Down Below, where one would go and the bond, open ended and fraying and broken, would drain the life from the other until they followed to wherever ghouls go when they're gone. Aether knows his reasoning's selfish. Wanting the barest chance of surviving whatever happens.

"You don't think I know that?" Dew asks, uncharacteristically soft. "You don't think I've spent every single moment since a fucking multighoul survived being pulled through the fire portal thinking about what's going to fucking happen to me? Infernal Majesty, Aeth, we don't even know if he's going to survive."

"I don't care about him," Aether growls. His tail lashes behind him. "He could crumble to salt and ash and be blown away for how much I care. I care about you."

Dew smiles, a little crooked thing as he nuzzles the side of his nose against Aether's. "I'm sorry," he whispers, and Aether's brow furrows, heart doing a funny thing in his chest. "I'm being real fucking selfish, asking for your bite with all of this going on."

"Dew, I promise, I want to give you my bite," Aether swears, trying to press his forehead impossibly closer to Dew's. Their horns click, seaglass against ivory. "I do. But I wanted to do it proper. The way you deserve. A proper ceremony. I know how much that means to you."

"Well," Dew shrugs, swallows hard. "Isn't time for any of that now."

"Yeah," Aether whispers. His back's to the rest of his room, Dew between him and the wall. He isn't quite sure if it's a blessing or a curse that he can't see the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock on his nightstand.

How little time they might have left.

A silence settles uneasily over them. Aether pulls Dew impossibly closer, and for once, Dew lets himself be moved without complaint. He threads fingers through the silvery hair at the nape of Dew's neck, buries his nose in the crown of his head. Breaths him in like he'd suffocate without his scent.

Aether doesn't know how long has passed before Dew speaks up, voice uncharacteristically small. "Starshine?"

He doesn't move, but rumbles low into Dew's hair. "Darling?"

"I'm not gonna ask for a scar again. But-" his breath hitches. "Aether, can I have one more kiss? Please?"

Aether lurches like he's been clawed. Dew doesn't just say please. Has never ever seen the need for pleasantries and politeness for as long as he's known him.

But Aether has never been able to deny Dew anything. Especially as dawn approaches, the passage of time until the uncertain future marching closer.

"There'll be more kisses," Aether whispers, trying to convince the two of them as he ducks down and takes Dew's lips with his. "This won't be the last."

Aether dutifully swallows Dew's sob, doesn't mention the way the kiss tastes of salt. Dew wraps those lean arms around the back of his neck, clinging to him as he kisses him like a starved man.

They ignore the tears streaking down their cheeks and kiss and kiss and kiss until Aether breaks away with a gasp, vision darkening around the edges. Dew chuckles sheepishly, his gills fluttering as a teal blush spills over his sharp cheekbones. A spindly hand cups Aether's cheek, thumb smoothing over and wiping away the moisture there.

Aether squeezes his eyes shut, leans into the touch, before Dew pulls him into another kiss. "Kiss me til it's time?"

Aether shudders hard. "No. We're not talking about that. Not right now," he growls into Dew's mouth, licking at the seam of his lips. "It's just us right now. Nothing else. Just you and me."

Dew grants him access, fingers curling into his overgrown mohawk as Aether licks gently into his mouth. Tries to hang on as their tongues slide together. Aether does not wince as his hair's pulled, but neither does Dew when Aether pulls him tighter to him.

"Can we keep going?" Dew whispers into the kiss, and Aether savors the taste of those words on his tongue. "Want to stop thinking about this all. Just want you."

"'Course," he says without any hesitation. And hopefully, without any tremor in his voice. "Whatever you want."

Dew must pick up something in his tone, because the next thing he knows is Dew's hands grabbing his face again. They're so close, Aether's eyes cross as they try to focus on him. "Like you said. Nothing else right now. This isn't a last cigarette. Come on."

Aether huffs, lips quirking up in a smile, before he kisses Dew again. In one smooth motion, he's rolling the two of them until Dew's on his back, Aether's hands braced on the pillows on either side of his head.

Dew blinks up at him, cool blue eyes a little glossy, but burning into his own. "Hi, starshine," he says, smiling.

"Hi, darling," Aether leans down to nuzzle their noses together. "How's this?"

Dew grins, his teeth shining sharp in the little bit of moonlight. "Fucking perfect," he says, stealing another kiss from Aether's mouth as he hitches a skinny thigh up against Aether's hip, gasping as it pushes his hips up against Aether's. His expression falls, something a little tender, uncharacteristically shy. "I, uh. I wanna look at you."

Aether kisses him again, selfishly. "Of course. I wanna look at you too. Pretty fishy."

Dew bats at Aether's shoulder, but there's no real heat behind it. Aether's felt what Dew can do when he means it.

"My pretty fishy," he says again, leaning down to nose at the fins lining his ear. It flicks against his head, and Aether can feel the soft huff of breath from Dew's gills.

"Yours," Dew says, voice thick and wavering. Aether's brow furrows, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment. Tries to steel himself. To become a pillar for him. A little bit of comfort in the shittiest few months of their lives. Whatever the morning brings-

Fuck all of that. Aether is right here. Dew under him, heart beating and magick crackling and gills fluttering with breath. With life. He surges down to kiss Dew again, tastes the possession and belonging on their tongues.

Dew moans, and Aether feels himself start to chub up where they're pressed together. Swallows down Dew's noises like ambrosia. Dew kisses him, fingers tangled into his hair and clinging, desperate.

"I've got you," Aether murmurs into Dew's lips, threading his fingers into the silvery fine strands of Dew's hair. Not pulling or moving or tugging. He just lets those strands slip through his fingers. "Anything you want, darling."

Dew keens, shuddering underneath him as Aether cages him in. "Want to stay like this forever," he breathes, the high points of his face flushing a deep teal as he admits it.

Aether breaks the kiss, panting, before ducking back down to kiss the corner of Dew's mouth. He trails kisses across his cheek, to the edge of his jaw, and Dew sighs, letting his head loll back to offer him the column of his throat. He pauses for just a moment, feeling Dew's pulse under his lips before licking a stripe up the side of his throat, tongue dipping teasingly into each fluttering gill.

Dew's moan is soft and keening. It's music to Aether's ears, and he can't help but rock his hips down into Dew's, drawing out another and another and another.

He paws at the elastic of Aether's boxers after a little while, gasping as Aether licks and sucks at his collarbone. "Get them off," he pants, even as he presses his bulge to Aether's, drawing noises from the both of them at the friction.

Aether reluctantly pulls back enough to kick his boxers off, and Dew's quick to follow with his own. His dick's already flushed and stiff, wet at the tip and well on its way to leaving a puddle of pre in the hollow of his hip.

"Aether," Dew breathes, eyes not leaving his face. It pitches up breathily, and Aether reaches down to squeeze the base of his cock.

"Not gonna leave you hanging, baby, I promise," he swears, shuffling as quickly as he can down the bed so he can lick a stripe up his hip. His eyes flutter shut at the taste, petrichor and a little salty and all Dew. "Bet you're getting wet down there too, but you taste so good here."

Dew's hands fly into his hair, tangling and pulling, but Aether can't even bring himself to wince at the sharp pull on his scalp. He slowly, thoroughly, licks up every drop of Dew's taste, even as his little cock steadily blurts out more. Aether gets a hand on himself, even though he's well on his way to fully hard, stroking slow and loose as everything gets him more worked up.

Aether gets one hand on Dew's hip, holding him steady as his hips try to buck. "C'mon," Dew whines, dick twitching each time he can feel the heat of Aether's mouth close to it. "Please."

That one word does funny things to Aether when Dew says it. His head lolls forward, groaning loud and low and rumbly in his chest. Tension spikes in his core, and he has to squeeze the base of his cock to keep from spilling over the sheets. "Fuck, darling, Dew, yes," he rambles, kissing the crease between Dew's hip and thigh. "I just- fuck. Do you want to cum like this, or on my cock? Anything you want."

There's a tug at his hair, and Aether crawls back up Dew's body as his water ghoul directs him. "Want you in me," Dew says, pressing up on his elbows to kiss him, parting his lips to let Aether's tongue slide against his. He almost mewls as he tastes his own precum.

Aether only breaks the kiss when he's out of breath, a hand sneaking between Dew's thighs to press fingertips against his rim. Dew gasps, eyes shining like gems in the low light. He's the most beautiful thing Aether's ever seen. His heart aches.

Aether catches himself, forces himself back into the moment with a shake of his head. "Breathe for me, darling," Aether whispers, leaning in to kiss away Dew's panting noises as he slips a finger inside.

He takes his time with prep, one then two then three thick, glamoured fingers, aided by Dew's slick. It sounds wet and obscene, but for once Aether isn't hearing it. He's laser focused on the little breathy gasps he's swallowing down, the slick sound of their lips and tongues together. Dew's claws dig into Aether's shoulderblades, and Aether takes the pain willingly, eagerly. Wants every sensation burnt into his brain.

Eventually, Dew pulls back, every gill on his body fluttering, tail curling around Aether's calf. "I'm not gonna break, jackass," he says, but there's a fondness in the way his lips quirk up, something soft in his eyes.

Aether scoffs, playfully rolls his eyes. He presses his fingertips hard into the spot he knows makes Dew's dick drip before he pulls his fingers out of his ass. He winds his tail around Dew's. "Come on, let me be good to you," Aether says, rubbing the tip of his nose against the bridge of Dew's. "Treat you how you deserve."

Dew's grip tightens, claws digging in. Aether wonders how long the marks will last, is secretly grateful that his own quintessence won't work on himself.

"Want you," Dew says, trying to nudge his hips up so Aether's cock slides against his taint. It presses his hard little cock against Aether's belly, and Dew groans as it drools into his happy trail.

"You have me," Aether promises, entranced with the way Dew's hair spools through his fingers like water. He holds the back of his head, tilts it up just enough to kiss him. Soft, gentle. What Dew deserves.

He gives himself to Dew just like that. Presses in slow and reverent. They both gasp into each other's lips, a soft groan at the first taste of pleasure.

Dew's just as wet as he ever is, and Aether groans into the kiss. His thighs shake with the effort of slow and steady. Dew hitches his legs up around his hips, locking his ankles around the small of his back.

The kiss breaks, Dew pressing his forehead to Aether's as their hips meet, nudging that secret place inside Dew that feels like coming home.

Dew curses softly, pretty blue eyes rolling into the back of his head as Aether's balls press heavy against his ass and the head of his cock nudges at his prostate. His dick kicks at the stimulation, blurting another rivulet of pre onto his belly.

Aether feels something strange swoop in his chest, and he cups Dew's face in both hands. "Baby, look at me," he says, a little panic beading up unbidden in his tone. "Dew, please look at me. Need you to look at me."

Dew's brow furrows, and he shakes his head, eyes focusing on Aether's face. "Starshine? You okay?"

Loaded question.

But Aether clears his throat, tries to even out his breathing. The wet warmth of Dew's body combined with the panic he's trying to keep at bay makes it just a little difficult. "I'm okay, Dew. Just. I wanna look at you."

Thank all seven saints, Dew doesn't press any further. He knows him, more than anyone else ever has. His hands skate up from Aether's shoulders to card through his mohawk. His expression is soft, warm, even as cool blue eyes examine every inch of him. "I'm right here."

Aether smiles, kisses him again. "I know."

"You've got me, and I've got you," Dew says, that determined edge cutting through his whisper.

"Yeah," Aether agrees, unable to tear his eyes away from the upturn of Dew's lips. "We've got each other."

They spend another moment like that, Dew's eyes fluttering as his hips shift minutely, the friction of Aether's cock teasingly maddening. But he never shuts his eyes, and his hands shift to hold the sides of his face.

Dew swipes a bass-calloused thumb over Aether's cheek, wiping away a tear that he hadn't even realized had fallen. "Hey, none of that," Dew says, licking the tear from his thumb coyly. "We're right here."

Despite his teasing, there's a little concern in the ocean depths of his eyes. Aether takes a deep breath and leans into Dew's hand. Nuzzles into it, feels the scrape of his overgrown stubble catching on Dew's callouses.

"Right here," Aether echoes. They lay there for a moment, just holding each other's faces, foreheads pressed together, until Dew huffs.

His bony ankles dig into the small of Aether's back. "Not gonna break, Aeth," he mumbles, trying to shove his hips back onto Aether's cock even though he's fully sheathed in his body. "And not to mention the elephant in the room or whatever, but night's not getting any younger. Fuck me. Please."

Aether knows better than to push at the obvious deflection. He groans as Dew says please again, rocking his hips forward and dragging a strangled noise from Dew's throat.

"Oh fuck," Dew laughs, a little startled. Aether smiles back at him, sets a steady rhythm. Pulls out until just the head rests inside of him, pushing back in smoothly until their hips press together again.

Even if Aether were a stronger ghoul, he wouldn't be able to hide just how affected he is by the clutch of Dew's body. He fits so perfectly inside of him that if Dew told him that Lucifer Himself had made him for Aether, he'd be more than inclined to agree. He groans loudly in the still of the dark, fingers tightening almost imperceptibly in Dew's hair.

Dew's head rolls back against the pillow as Aether starts to roll his hips into him. Aether's body covers his entirely, body shoved slightly up the mattress, rustling the sheets in the hearth. Dew does his very best to keep his eyes on Aether, even as the pleasure makes them start to unfocus and go a little cloudy.

Aether watches his kiss-swollen lips part slightly, his fangs nibbling at the plushness of his bottom lip. He always goes so soft when Aether gets to fuck him like this. All vulnerable and open and intimate in a way he never is outside of their bedroom.

"Yeah, darling?" Aether says, leaning down to nuzzle his nose against Dew's. He brushes a strand of silver hair from his forehead, tucking it behind a seaglass horn.

Dew opens his mouth to answer, but only a sweet little moan escapes past his lips.

Aether laughs fondly, adjusting his head just enough to taste that noise on his tongue with a kiss. Dew's hands fly back to his hair, pulling hard.

He rewards him with a deep thrust, just the tiniest bit faster. Knows the exact angle to hit the spot that makes Dew squeal. "Fuck, baby," he groans as Dew's lean thighs tighten around his waist. "Feels good, huh?"

"Yeah, it feels good, asshole," Dew whines. Aether can feel his cock kick hard against his belly, drooling precum. "Don't stop." Aether shakes his head. "Wouldn't dream of it," he promises, and he knows he means every word.

It's slow and languid just like that for a while, time syrupy around them. Wrapped up in each other's bodies, so tangled together they may as well be one creature. Sharing breath, hands roaming soft over each other's skin.

Aether tries to burn every minute detail into his brain. Petrichor and salt scent of his arousal, tangled with snowmelt and lilies and candle smoke and ozone. The texture of his scales against his skin. The cool puffs of breath from his gills. The tight clutch of his ass as their hips work together. The shine of silver hair in moonlight. The feel of his cheekbones against his palms.

He doesn't want to think of the world outside of their nest, their hearth. What will happen when the sun rises and they receive the mandatory summons to the chapel from one of the Imperator's ghouls. But. Just in case. He memorizes it all the same.

"Lucifer, fuck, Aeth," Dew gasps, back arching off of the bed with a particularly precise thrust. His dick jumps hard, and Aether worms a hand between their bodies to wrap his fingers around him. His shaft is slick, even though he's barely been touched. Dew practically mewls at the contact, eyes flying open, wide and blue like Aether's looking up into a cloudless sky.

"Oh, shit, baby. Squeeze me just like that," Aether coos, swiping his thumb just under the tip of Dew's cock. He doesn't jerk him off, just holds him, a little pressure and friction when his hips jolt.

Dew's eyes roll back, but Aether can't bring himself to make Dew look at him. Wants to let him lose himself in all of the pleasure he can get. "Aether," Dew gasps, clinging to him, trying his best to rock his hips back into his.

Every little feeling Aether has for this ghoul laying beneath him grows and swells until it's all encompassing. He watches Dew lose himself to the pleasure, keeps his hips angled just right so every slow stroke brushes against his prostate. "I've got you, baby," Aether promises, nuzzling into Dew's cheek.

"Fuck, starshine, please," Dew says, voice strained with a keen when Aether gives him a particularly precise thrust.

"Please what, darling?" Aether says, starting to pant. Sweat beads at his hairline. "I can't give you what you want if you don't tell me what it is."

Dew rolls his eyes, but a sharp whine escapes his lips. Fingers tangle a little tighter in Aether's hair. "Fuck me, starshine. I'm not gonna break."

They know he's talking about more than just this. But Aether gives him a little harder thrust anyways. Wants to keep pretending.

Dew pulls him down to his mouth as Aether sets a harder pace, finally giving into chasing his own pleasure. He dutifully swallows down every moan and grunt, gasping out his own noises as Aether fucks him.

They share breath, panting and desperate, staring into each other's eyes like all of the answers they'd ever need could be found there. Aether, very quietly, in the back of his mind, thinks it's true. Tries to drown himself in those deep blue eyes. "Fuck, darling, Dewdrop, feels so fucking good," he groans as the kiss breaks, lowering himself even lower to nuzzle his cheek against the side of Dew's head.

Dew's head lolls back against the pillows, baring the column of his throat, each gill fluttering with his panting breaths. He's gorgeous like this, silver hair haloed out around his head and almost metallic in the low light.

Aether freezes, and Dew lets out a confused, protesting noise. His claws dig into the backs of Aether's shoulders. "Said you weren't gonna stop, asshole," he pants, his chest heaving. The motion makes his nipple piercings glint.

"I know, I'm sorry," Aether breathes. He still doesn't start again. Not quite yet. "Just. I wanna look at you, darling."

The frustrated expression melts off of Dew's face, fingers gentling on Aether's back. Dew looks up at him, eyes scanning over his face as his hand migrates to his cheek once again. "I'm right here," he breathes, swallowing hard.

"I know," Aether says, petting through Dew's hair. His voice cracks. "I know."

He stares at Dew, forcing himself to just see him. No infirmary beds. No rituals. Here and now. In the dark and quiet of their bedroom. Safe in their hearth. The ghoul he loves with everything he has. That he'd follow anywhere.

Aether kisses Dew, fingers tangled gently in his hair. "I love you, Dewdrop."

He can feel Dew's smile against his lips. "I love you too, Aether."

They hold each other close for a while, no more words, just reveling in the closeness. The warmth of their bodies. Nothing else matters.

He doesn't know exactly how long has passed, doesn't want to know, when Dew's ankles tighten around the small of his back again. "You wanna keep going, starshine?"

Aether nods wordlessly, giving him one more sweet kiss before he starts to move again. Dew's eyes roll back, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as Aether jerks him off in time with his slow, deep thrusts.

"Right there, baby," Dew groans, craning his neck to nibble at Aether's jaw. His dick twitches against Aether's palm, and Aether matches his groan, cock throbbing where it's buried in his body. Aether nods, careful not to clip his chin against where Dew's face is right against him.

"'Course, I got you," Aether promises. He sneaks his other hand under Dew's hips, adjusting the angle until each slow stroke makes Dew mewl. It doesn't take long until Dew's thighs start to tremble around his waist, body going tense. He groans like he's been punched in the gut at the way Dew clenches around him.

"Aeth," Dew gasps, eyes wide. One of his hands leaves Aether's face, reaching down for- "Gimme your hand, Aeth, please, gimme your hand."

It's barely a moment that passes before Aether's setting Dew's hips back down carefully, rhythm never once faltering. He takes Dew's hand without hesitation, entwining their fingers with a gentle squeeze. He marvels a little at how much bigger his hand is than Dew's. But he doesn't stay distracted for long, refocusing his efforts to Dew's pleasure.

He holds Dew's hand, pinning it a little to the mattress as he holds himself up with it, his other hand working his cock. Dew squeezes his hand back, pretty blue eyes rolling back as he bucks his hips up into Aether's hand.

"You close, darling?" Aether asks, feeling the pleasure churning in his own gut. It tightens and threatens to snap at any moment.

Dew nods, kiss swollen lips slightly parted. "Yeah, please don't stop."

Aether redoubles his efforts, pressing his forehead to Dew's as his body jolts with each thrust. Dew's cock stiffens even more in his hand, and Aether tightens his grip as he strokes him. The slide is wet and slick with Dew's pre, and with the gasping cries Dew's giving him, it's about to be even wetter.

"Come on, darling, please cum for me," Aether whispers into the fins of Dew's ear. "Let me make you feel good."

Aether rocks his hips into Dew's once, twice, three more times before Dew's back arches almost violently with a sharp, soft cry. He keeps his hand moving on his dick, working him through his orgasm as cum splashes up the flat of his belly and his sternum. It spits and dribbles over Aether's knuckles, pearly white and sticky.

Dew's ass clenches hard around his cock. That, combined with Dew's shuddering, gasping cries, are enough to make him follow Dew over the edge. The tension deep in his gut snaps.

They press their foreheads together as they cum, Aether buried as deep as he can get in the clutch of Dew's body. Dew clings to him, whining softly as Aether works himself through it, little humping thrusts as he empties himself into his body, squeezing Dew's hand all the while. Dew squeezes back.

The room falls back to silence, save for panting, heaving breathing as the two catch their breaths. Aether carefully pulls out, but makes no attempt to move or go clean up, smoothing his thumb over the back of Dew's hand as he watches his gills flutter unevenly with breath.

He's beautiful. It makes his heart swell, fluttering against his sternum like a bird as Dew cards through his sweaty mohawk, strands of violet hair carding through his fingers. Aether knows exactly what he'll do for this little ghoul laying beneath him. Where he'll go, what he'll do.

"Darling," Aether breaths.

"Starshine," Dew coos, grinning a little giddily.

Aether swallows hard. Wipes his hand clean on the sheets of the hearth before bringing it up to tuck a strand of silver hair behind Dew's ear. Dew leans into the touch, eyes half lidded. A satisfied purr kicks up in his chest.

"Dewdrop," Aether tries again. A little furrow forms between Dew's brows as he tries to focus, worry seeping into his expression. "I want you to listen to me, okay?"

"Aeth," Dew whispers, blue eyes darting over his face. "Starshine, what's wrong?"

Aether squeezes his eyes shut. They both know what's wrong, but that's not worth mentioning right now. "I have a confession, darling. I was selfish. You want my scar. And I want to give you my scar, and to wear yours. I swear on all Seven Sisters, I want nothing more."

"Aether," Dew says. There's the sharp edge of wariness in his tone. Aether shakes his head, gently cups the side of Dew's face to keep his gaze.

"Please, Dew," Aether says. There's something in his voice that makes Dew freeze, staring up and actually listening. "I was scared. Of becoming your mate just to have the bond broken before it could even properly form. I- I didn't want to feel it happen. I didn't want it to kill me too. It's selfish and it's awful, considering what might happen to you, and I'm sorry."

"Aether," Dew breathes, his voice hitching. He squeezes Aether's hand so hard that the delicate bones inside grind together. He doesn't mind.

"Dewdrop. No matter what happens tomorrow, I will follow you anywhere. To the Ninth and back, through each and every circle until you tell me to stop. And if you want my bite, I will give it to you. I'm sorry I didn't do it the way I know you wanted. I didn't give you the big ceremony, with our pack watching and our Papa marrying us in the Prince's name. I'm sorry they can't be there for it anym-"

"That's not your fault," Dew hisses. There's tears welling up in his sea blue eyes. Aether presses his forehead to his. "Aether, that's not your fucking fault."

"Please, darling," Aether begs. He squeezes Dew's hand. Dew squeezes back. "It would be the honor of my life to wear your scar. Damn the Ghost Project, damn the Emerituses, damn it all. That would be what I'd be proudest of. I want to wear your scar, and I want you to wear mine. I love you more than anything. I thought, that by denying you what you wanted, I might have a chance of surviving whatever may come. But fuck that."

"Aether," Dew tries again. Aether just shakes his head.

"I don't want to be in a world where you're not there, Dew," Aether whispers. He takes a deep, shuddering breath. "If the very worst of my nightmares comes true tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, I will follow you, my love."

"Aether, don't say that," Dew whispers, pulling him down to nuzzle his cheek. His voice breaks. "I'm gonna be fine."

"I know you are," Aether swears. "But it's true. Being Up Top without you is not something that's in my cards, darling. Being anywhere without you isn't something I want to have to do. The Prince Himself would have to fucking stop me. I want to be yours, by scent and by scar."

Aether has more planned to say. He opens his mouth to say it, but all that comes out is a strangled yelp as Dew pulls him down to kiss him. It's clumsy, like new lovers, all teeth and tongue and passion. Aether melts into it all the same.

Dew lets him go, pushes him back just enough to look him in the eye. "You mean it?" he says, a little uncertainty shining through the cracks of the facade he's trying to pull back up.

"Of course I mean it," Aether promises, leaning down to nuzzle the side of his nose against Dew's. "Every word."

Dew nuzzles back, melting into the affection. "Then. Well. Aether, would you do me the honor of wearing my scar?"

"Yes, my darling," Aether breathes. They're still holding hands. "And would you allow me to give you mine?"

Dew beams, a brilliant dazzling gems in his eyes. "Yes, I would."

Aether tilts his head, offering the most vulnerable part of himself to Dew. His pulse, the lifeblood within. He gathers the magick at the very core of him, the pure quintessence, and brings it up to the surface, where it rests just under his skin. This would be easier Down Below, without the vessels they reside in containing the force. But it's easy enough for his magick to pool around his pulse.

If Aether cries when Dew's teeth sink carefully into the crook of his neck, Dew doesn't mention it. Mostly because he's crying softly too, tear tracks trailing over the sharp planes of his cheekbones. He stiffens under him when he tastes Aether's magick.

Aether doesn't shut his eyes, winding fingers through silver hair as the needle sharp pain lances through his nerves. But there's something else budding in his chest, pounding in time with his heart. It's growing, looking for something that isn't there yet. Aether turns to press a kiss to Dew's temple, his fangs still in his throat.

When Dew pulls back, it feels like he's taking something with him. His lips shine ruby in the low light. He makes no move to lick them clean. He's never been more beautiful. "Your turn, starshine," he says, lips and eyes shiny and wet.

Aether nods, ducking his head to nose at the crook of Dew's neck. He feels the puff of breath from Dew's gills, feels it hitch as he presses a kiss there. Aether squeezes his eyes shut, Dew's pulse thrumming just under his lips.

He presses his fangs there, carefully pushing in until he feels skin split under them. Dew tastes like his scent concentrated, fresh spring meltwater, lilies that have just bloomed, the way the chapel smells after every offering candle has been snuffed, and the iron metallic taste of blood underneath it all. Aether groans softly under his breath, but then that thing in his chest that's been budding and pulsing blooms as Dew's magick reaches out to meet him. Water and fire meeting quintessence in a complex braid.

It feels like completing an electrical circuit. Feels like pressing the last piece of a puzzle into place. It feels like coming home. Dew gasps sharply, arms wrapped tight around Aether's shoulders. Aether shudders hard, careful not to disturb his teeth in Dew's throat, doesn't want to hurt him any more than he already has.

After a moment, Aether pulls back, sees the print of his teeth in Dew's throat. Pride and possession and love swirl in a deadly mix in his chest. There's blood on his mouth, just like Dew. He grins down at him, feeling the tendrils of their matebond start to entwine and tether.

Aether's never felt anything like it. He wants to feel it forever.

Dew lets out a sob, or a laugh, and pulls Aether down to kiss him, blood on their mouths be damned. Aether kisses him like a man starved, fingers tangled in Dew's hair, holding him so close like he can keep him from ever leaving.

When they pull back, it's only far enough for Aether to breathe, for the two of them to stare into each other's eyes, amethyst to aquamarine. Their lips ghost against one another, and they're not sure who starts it first, but before they know it they break into exhausted, delirious laughter.

"You're bleeding," Dew laughs, eyes dropping to the crook of Aether's neck. Aether chuffs, delighted.

"So are you," he beams, ducking down to lap up the mess dripping down into Dew's collarbone. The press of his tongue makes Dew giggle. He smells like Aether here. Where the bit of the magick Aether left behind will live forever.

Dew follows suit, cleaning up Aether's matebite and encouraging it to heal. When it does, it will leave a silvery scar. Permanent. Claiming. Dew's mark on Aether, and vice versa. Where their magick will tether them together forever.

The two of them curl together into their hearth, encouraging their delicate, brand new bond to blossom and strengthen. Sharing soft kisses and touches as their magick weaves together. Aether lays on his side, his back to the door, Dew curled up against his chest. Aether tucks a strand of hair behind his mate's ear. "I love you, Dewdrop."

Dew smiles brightly, tucking his face into his mate's collarbone. "I love you too, Aether."

In the safety of their hearth, Aether presses a kiss to the crown of Dew's head. Breathes in his scent. The way it now entwines with his own. Nothing can ever get to them here.

Outside, the sun rises.

[fandom-geek]

act 3 thoughts

well, i guess it looked pretty.

i didn't actually think it was possible to rush vi/caitlyn after s1 but uh... they managed it. i actually feel pretty bad for fans of that ship? like wow, they basically had zero build-up after the reconciliation (especially for the weirdly placed sex scene) and now vi has no one but cait (assuming she doesn't know that jinx is alive) and they're "happily ever after". and i'm saying this as someone who has had zero investment in caitlyn since s1, lol, so i can't imagine how ppl invested in her story feel.

and sevika just literally might as well have not existed after episode 4. like i guess i'm happy she's zaun's only council member against six pilties, but like. s2 basically refused to engage with the zaun/piltover conflict besides attributing it to individuals like caitlyn, ambressa, and jinx. the closest we got to acknowledging there were institutional reasons was the alternative universe in s2, but even then... vi dies (and possibly jayce and viktor too???), there's no hextech or seemingly shimmer, and suddenly zaun is thriving? and having silco show up, having forgiven vander, just felt like the same shallow fanservice from the flashback earlier in the season.

which ties into how everything got subsumed by the arcane subplot. i get that they needed to join the plots up at some point, but war between zaun and piltover seemed like a pretty solid bet, narratively.

having seriously looked forward to how they were going to deal with mel being a mage and viktor being the machine herald. i am impressively disappointed. no machine herald here, only the arcane herald. i guess his final design was cool, but i wanted to see fortiche's take on the machine herald. having him reinvent himself as the machine herald in response to the arcane taking his bodily autonomy would've been cool, but i guess he's cool with using his inventions as weapons now if it means he gets to evolve more people. after hearing and reading so much about the nuance of the conflict btwn him and jayce in league, i am painfully disappointed that we didn't get any of that. and the lack of resolution as to whatever was going on with skye, so instead she was just a plot device for viktor's character development for the entire show? god, in hindsight her narrative treatment was the first red flag over where the writing was going.

also a bit disappointed that jayce's mysterious mage didn't turn out to be ryze despite the various hinting at it (didn't even netflix themselves imply it at one point?).

and poor fucking mel, she kills her last surviving relative and her boyfriend just disappears without a trace and she's forced to renounce her compassion and adopted home to embrace her noxian heritage. i don't know if massively depressing stories are on par for mages in runeterra, but her ending was just utterly tragic. she has no one left, just a faceless army of soldiers.

jinx's fake-out death is like. urgh. i get why because it means piltover leaves her alone, but there's just a ton of emotion in a moment that you immediately undercut at the very end.

for all they said that s2 was written alongside s1, it felt like they needed another season (you know, if this wasn't so expensive to produce) to properly pace stuff out so it can be developed properly. like, spending an entire episode on alternate universes when you have three total left is utter madness. it should've been 1/3-1/2 an episode at most if they kept the same episode count.

but given their apparent willingness to throw fanservice in (felicia & silco flashback) when it doesn't exactly make narrative cohesion with s1, i'm not sure if that was possible or meddling by someone else or whatever.

oh, and rip blitzcrank. too innocent to exist in arcane, i guess?

[religious-extremist]

I need guidance on something. I find myself committing sin (lying, anger) often - and I want to repent but I feel like it would be a lie to God because I know I will sin again, because I have fallen into these habits. I want to get better and seek God's forgiveness but I absolutely do not want to make false promises to God. I have asked other Christians about this but they all give me similar responses - "Just repent anyway, it's okay if you sin again," or "These sins are so minor, God doesn't care," or other things like this and it feels like being led astray to even consider these possibilities. I am asking you because I feel like an Orthodox Christian sticks more firmly to the Bible and not to modern interpretations of it.

Eagerly awaiting your response, and please pray for me. :)

St. Porphyrios used to say, “Do not fight to expel the darkness from the chamber of your soul. Open a tiny aperture for light to enter, and the darkness will disappear.”

All habitual sins are rooted in the passions: lying and anger are the fruits of pride, which is the seed of corruption. It is necessary to struggle against them and not despair of our salvation. We cannot give up the fight against the desires of the flesh; it is impossible to be a Christian while indulging in the pleasures of sin.

God gives us the weapons we need to fight the passions through the Church; through frequent confession and communion; through prayer and fasting. I recommend you talk to an Orthodox spiritual father, as I am only a layperson, and a terribly sinful and foolish one at that!

The only way to avoid sin is to have perfect prayer, to have perfect stillness of the heart, to hold fast to Christ and keep Him in the center of your thoughts at all times. Have you ever heard of the Jesus prayer and the hesychastic way of life?

St. Macarius of Optina said, “Pray simply. Do not expect to find in your heart any remarkable gift of prayer. Consider yourself unworthy of it. Then you will find peace. Use the empty cold dryness of your prayer as food for your humility.”

I wish to say, his advice can be used to advance in all of the other virtues aside from prayer. Pray for God to keep you from sin, and if you find yourself falling into sin, use the shame of sin as food for your humility.

St. Isaac the Syrian also said, “As salt is needed for all kinds of food, so humility is needed for all kinds of virtues.”

While Elder Ephraim said, “Grass does not sprout in trampled ground; likewise, passions and wickedness do not sprout in a humble soul. As long as we lack humility, God will not stop humbling us through trials until we learn this important and most salvific lesson.”

So you might wonder, how can I gain humility? When you find yourself angry, look inwards and remember your sin against God. Remember the unmerciful servant, the fool who received forgiveness for his debt from the King and then assailed a fellow servant for owing him much less than what he, himself, owed the King. Pray for those who sin against you, and thank God for the persecution you face, because He allows you to face temptations in order to heal your soul of its passions.

“In order to abide in the love of God it is essential for anger and 'hate' to attain their maximum intensity but be directed against the sin that lives in me, against the evil active in me - in me, not in my brother.” St. Silouan exhorted.

Most importantly, no one can attain these virtues unless they are in obedience to a spiritual father. People fall into delusion thinking they can live a spiritual life outside of the Church, but in doing so, they follow the whims of their heart and nourish not their souls but feed the evil passion of pride in their hearts. Disobedience was the first sin committed by man in Paradise, and it is by obedience to a spiritual father that we free ourselves from the harsh judgment of God.

Please forgive me and pray for me, inadequate and late in my answer. You are welcome to send me a message if you wish to speak. It is hard for me to answer these questions adequately without conversation, the answer is so vast and encompasses so many facets of the spiritual life that cannot be explained in a short paragraph by a stupid person like me, so I recall instead what the saints have said.

The spiritual life is mystical, you must participate in the prayers, services, fasts, and sacraments of the Church in order to find answers; it is not something I can give to you with words, but it is an experience of God. “God is the Lord and has revealed Himself to us!” The only way to know God is by divine revelation, not by mere will, and we find God revealed to us through His Church! “Taste and see that the Lord is good!” Indeed, He knocks at your door, only you must answer and meet the Bridegroom yourself.

I am praying for you. May the Panagia be with you! May God have mercy on us, my dear friend,

Prayer for the Granting of all Virtues by Saint Ephraim the Syrian

Grant me, O Son of the Good One, that for which my mind yearns, and join to it that which is pleasing to Thy will.

Grant that I may choose to do good and in no way deviate from Thy will.

Do not permit me to be a wicked and hypocritical disciple who violates Thy commandments.

Protect me from thinking that I can walk along Thy path merely for the sake of appearance and thus by my hypocrisy deceive those who see me, inciting them to proclaim me blessed.

Grant that my heart might please Thy greatness in secret, and that my just life might glorify Thee publicly.

May truth be a mistress to guide Thy worshipper; may it preserve me in chastity both near and far.

Deliver me from the misfortune of knowing Thy law, yet lacking the desire to please Thee.

Vouchsafe me the company of people who are simple, but experienced and wise in the performance of virtues.

My flesh is weak. Fortify it with Thy strength. Help me, break the arrows of the cunning enemy, and number me among the hosts of Thine heirs.

Grant me, O Lord, ever to be among Thy dominion and to do what is pleasing to Thee. And whenever I begin something good, do Thou, O Lord, give me strength to complete it.

I know, O Lord, that I have sinned against Thy will. Clearly do I see that I have transgressed Thy commands. But do Thou, who makest Thy sun to shine on the bad and the good, deign also to shine Thy light in my clouded mind. And sins — those murderers and robbers who have taken up residence inside of me — will be driven out by this Thy light.

The Evil One sees in me no wickedness that did not come from him, for it is because of him that I have become wicked. I am, however, conquered by him through my own free will. The Evil One has entangled me because I myself instructed him to do so.

The slothful and the timid run from Thy yoke; Thy love shames the negligent.

Praise be to Thy goodness, to that mother of all teachers. The blows that they deliver to bring the stubborn to their senses are perhaps quite painful, yet sympathetically do they offer healing to the penitent.

Worthy of veneration are Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit, Who rejoices at our return!

[kcdysb]

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎Kody inhaled sharply as his fingers dug into her side, knowing that there would be bruises left after his touch disappeared, lingering proof of whatever was happening. Or would there? Was any of this real? It had to be. Even her worst trips were never this bad but if it was real, that opened a door to a lot of questions that Kody didn't want to ask or have answered. A hand moved to rest on the back of his head, fingers gripping his hair as he continued to ravage her skin, wondering if they were past the moment of when she should have started yelling for someone. Clearly she needed help. Either he was planning on possibly killing her, or hurting her in some way, or she was hallucinating and, in either case, that wasn't great.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎"Moved on?" she repeated breathily, teeth dragging over her bottom lip while she tried to make sense of what was happening. "Baby, no one is you." For better or worse. There would never be anyone like Luke, full stop. "But don't be mad now, we were never together, right? We weren't meant to be a real thing." The words had been on repeat in her head ever since she'd gotten that first text from his mother. Gold digging whore. Even if that hadn't been true, the two of them certainly hadn't been an item. "You really can't blame me for having a little fun, you know how I am." Maybe better than most and apparently he was still figuring some things out. It was crazy how much the brain still seemed to work after death. Or, supposed death.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ As he finally leaned back, giving her just enough room to take a breath, Kody's grip on his hair tightened, pulling him even further away from her. She had no idea if it would hurt him or not, unsure if he could even feel anything but if he could...she hated knowing he probably would have liked it. "You left us, Luke. You brought us here and pulled your shit and left us." She had to believe that. Needed to believe that it was not her fault ( even if it was ). "And here's a secret, baby, since you like them so much. We couldn't have gone home, we couldn't have done anything. Not if your parents had anything to do with it."

luke's grip became constrictive , possessive . wandering fingers hooked around the notch of her waist , working to harshly bury their lustful tips into her side . " come back with you . . . ?? " luke mused . his laughter , slick with oil , rolling off of a forked tongue that came out to flicker against the protruding bone of her clavicle . " please , baby — you've moved on , haven't you ?? " venom tinged each word , punctured each syllable , oozed from canines that now scraped along jugular veins , with a half-minded temptation to sink into them .

" first ortesky , then me . . . now reeve ?? " he forced her back into his embrace , winding limbs around her like a boa , threatening to squeeze until eyes bulged & lungs crumpled in on themselves . " be honest , kody , have you & isla . . . " he drawled , vile laughter permeating the crisp air , drawing the lobe of her ear between his teeth , nipping too hard — too hungrily — at her flesh . almost like he wanted to consume it . swallow her whole .

" i always thought you to be pretty & harmless , kody , but . . . that isn't true , is it ?? " luke's nose traced the sharp edge of her jaw , deeply inhaling , a guttural groan of appreciation sounding — as. if the very darkness he knew to plague her mind , intrigued him far more than anything else about her ever had . " you're a wicked little thing . greedy . no better than the rest of them , "

only then did he lean back , pools of cerulean swarming with horrific malice . " i could have come home with you , but you left me here . you left me . "

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

In Love and War (9)

Summary: The completion of the wards falls on an anniversary Warlord!Rhys can't forget.

Content Warnings: Mentions of Death/Infant Loss; Depression; Mentions of Drinking.

Author's Note: Brought the story back just to fill it with angst, I'm so sorry!

Previous Chapter/ Masterlist

---------

Rhys is gone by morning, his side of the mat cold. My head feels like it’s full of cotton; mouth full of sand. My bones ache, most of all my hands, it’s an effort to stretch out my fingers without feeling like my skin might tear right off the bone.

At least I haven’t covered the tent in vines while I slept.

There’s a waterskin and some rations left beside the mat for me, after a couple minutes of trying to rub the stiffness from my fingers, I sit up and scarf it down like I haven’t seen a meal in a week. My stomach certainly rumbles like it. I wonder if an increased appetite is a side effect of expelling so much power?

Once I’m finished, I slip back into my armor, wincing at the smell that clings to the leather. I need a shower, desperately! We’re supposed to be meeting up with Cassian’s group today, hopefully that means we’ll return to the valley soon and I can find some place to get clean. 

By the time I’ve finished with the laces, Azriel’s poking his head in the tent and giving me a five minute warning before camp starts to move. He doesn’t offer up any answers as to where Rhys is before disappearing again.

Hoping the minatiny of this familiar task will help lessen the tension in my muscles, I make quick work of tearing down the tent and getting it all rolled up to leave. My head still feels terribly foggy, but I suppose I could still feel like I was going to tear out of my skin, so I’ll take it as a win. 

Azriel helps me get the supplies mounted onto Rhys’s horse, but the warlord still doesn’t show himself until right before we leave. He wears his cowl again, the stars covering his eyes, the heavy fabric shielding his wings from the cold mountain air. His gloved hands grab my hips and lift me into the saddle and he swings silently into his seat behind me without so much as a hello. 

I try to not let the silence get to me, but worry worms its way into my chest the longer we go without speaking. Had I done something wrong yesterday? Was he irritated with how slow my progress has been? He seemed pleased last night, had I misinterpreted it?

His powers seem… dull today. The starlight not so bright, his shadows sluggish as he stitches the wards back together. His body is heavy against my back, like he’s having a hard time holding himself upright.

“Are you ok?” It takes a couple hours for me to work up the courage to ask.

He nuzzles his cowl covered head against my neck. “I’m all right.”

“You’re quiet today,” I say gently.

“Just a little tired,” he assures.

“Did you not sleep?” I was so exhausted last night I hadn’t been aware enough to see if he’d fallen asleep with me. He’d been so exhausted when we’d made it back to camp I’d just assumed he was out as fast as I was.

“I’ll sleep when this is done,” he replies.

My chest aches at the thought of him being up all night, tying these wards back together after spending all day babysitting me and my errant powers. “You need to rest too.”

He kisses my temple, his lips like ice against my skin. “I’ll be alright.”

A few more minutes of silence stretch out between us, the only sound the horse’s hooves against the rocks and boisterous conversations of the men behind us. They’re in good spirits today, making bets on whether or not we beat Cassian around the mountain. Rhys makes no attempt to join the conversation, his focus still on the wards.

I see no sight of the other group ahead of us, just lots and lots of mountain, and some dark clouds ahead of us. We might meet Cassian as the storm arrives to meet us. I shiver at the thought of what might have happened to me if I was still out alone in that kind of weather. It’s almost cold enough to snow, if I had still been looking for game in that poor excuse for clothes, no real shelter to be had, I’d be dead. It still hits me like a slap to think that Tam left me out here, knowing I could die, knowing I wasn’t prepared to make it on my own.

“How do you feel today?” It’s not the first time I wonder if he can hear my thoughts somehow. He always seems to know when they turn to Tamlin.

“My head feels like it’s full of cotton,” I say truthfully. “But it is better than yesterday.”

He twists to find the waterskin and passes it to me. “It might feel like that for a while.”

I subconsciously bring my fingers up to rub my temples. “Suppose it’s better than clawing at my skin all day.”

“It will help if you keep practicing,” he assures. “The more you get comfortable with it, the less energy you will have to put in expelling it. It will come out naturally and it will hurt less.”

I think the bones in my fingers might snap in half if I keep trying to summon claws after yesterday. 

He stops warding long enough to cup my hands together in my lap. “Just practice making those flowers, like last night. No shapeshifting on Midnight, he doesn’t like having fangs near his neck.”

“Your horse’s name is Midnight?” I can’t help the laugh that slips out of me. Death Incarnate rides a horse that sounds like it got its name from a child! It’s so very un-Warlord like of him that I can’t help but smile.

“He was born at Midnight, so his name is Midnight,” Rhys counters and Midnight huffs in what sounds like agreement.

“Oh of course, I was just expecting something… more intimidating, I guess.”

Midnight shakes his mane in a way that looks to me like I’ve insulted him and I run an apologetic hand over his silk smooth neck. 

“It’s intimidating,” Rhys insists.

“It’s cute,” I amend.

He huffs as he leans his chin down against my shoulder, hand leaving mine to resume his stitching. “I was ten, it sounded cool to a ten year old.”

I try to picture a scruffy haired ten year old Rhys, but come up empty. “Even cuter!”

“Hush, you’ll ruin my reputation,” he warns, nipping playfully at the juncture of my throat and shoulder. 

“Your reputation is safe with me,” I swear.

He chuckles at that, but as my focus shifts to practicing like he suggested, he once again slips back into silence. His shadows drift lazily over my arms and wrists as I practice, as if watching my progress. Sometimes they brush soothingly over my shaking wrists, or rub circles into my palms when the tension becomes too much, but Rhys says nothing for hours.

The storm on the horizon continues to drift closer, the temperature dropping the further into the mountains we go. When I start to shiver, he draws his cloak around the two of us, and tucks himself a little tighter around me to share the blissful warmth of his body heat, but even then he says nothing. 

Worry once again worms its way into my chest. Is he hurt? Did I do something wrong yesterday? Did he somehow figure out what I’d done?

I worry my lower lip between my teeth to avoid him seeing me wringing my hands the longer this drags on. We don’t stop for lunch, only for a brief period to let the horses drink from a small stream, and not even long enough for us to dismount and stretch our legs. It’s a quick drink and then we’re right back to it. The men seem pleased with this, the less stops mean the sooner we reach the rendezvous point and beat Cassian. If any of them think something is amiss with Rhys, they don’t voice it.

It comes to a point that I try to catch Azriel’s eye to see if the other male notices anything off with his warlord, but Rhys keeps us steadily ahead of the others, leading the way into the coming storm. 

The wind beats relentlessly at us now, I have to shield my eyes by tucking my head inside Rhy’s cloak. Still, Rhys doesn’t slow, even if I hear the heavy rasp of his breathing beneath his chestplate the harder he pushes. 

By nightfall, lightning streaks across the sky in angry slashes, thunder echoing off the mountain tops. I can smell the rain on the wind, though trouble finds us first when a lightning strike hits the side of the mountain and a rush of boulders and debris come raining down on our heads. 

Rhys’s magic flares in a protective shield above our heads, sheltering us from the worst of it, and once he’s sure everyone is unscathed, he presses on. 

Still, none of the men protest. Not even when the rain finally comes. It beats down on us like thousands of icy needles, pelting relentlessly against every bit of exposed skin it can find. Rhys’ cloak protects us from the worst of it, but even for all its magic properties, it can’t keep the rain from sliding down into our boots. 

I try not to complain. I’ve been through worse. But my teeth are chattering and I’ve done my best to curl up into his chest to try and preserve any bit of body heat I might have left. “Rhys, are we going to stop soon?”

I’m not sure at first that he can hear me over the rain, but his body shifts, an arm wrapping around my waist and then Midnight is moving faster, uphill. A few minutes later, the rain stops. Well, not stops, I can still hear it, but it no longer beats against us. 

He slides off the horse and I hear the wet thwack of his boots against stone before he hauls me down onto the ground next to him. I don’t know how he’s not shivering, he’s as soaked as I am.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, pressing a damp kiss to my forehead. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

We’re in a large cave carved into the mountain. It’s cold and damp and so dark I can barely see, but it’s not raining on us any longer so I’ll take it. The rest of the men file in behind us, proving the size is bigger than I can make out in the dark. 

“Az, get a fire going,” Rhys orders. 

“This the spot we’re meeting the others?” One of the men asks.

“It’s up the ridge,” Rhys returns as he pulls off his gloves and shoves them in his pocket so he can help rub some warmth back into my fingers. “I’ll finish it in a moment.”

He brings my hands up to his lips and as Azriel gets a fire going with some debris littering the cave, I get the first real look of him all day. “I’m sorry, Darling,” his eyes are rimmed with dark circles and bloodshot, face pale. “I’m sorry.” He keeps repeating it even as he kisses my knuckles, more like he’s talking to himself than me and my chest cracks open a little more.

“It’s ok,” my teeth are still chattering. 

Some of the men find the wood they’ve kept wrapped and dry and get the fire growing, but Rhys pulls me farther into the dark, deft fingers unlacing my chestpiece, the leather sticking to my damp skin. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again and even though he’s still brushing his lips against my forehead while he works, I don’t feel like he’s seeing me at all. He’s far, far away from me, body moving on instinct and I reach out to touch his face.

“Hey, I’m ok,” I promise.

But he won’t stop moving, not until he’s completely stripped me of all my wet clothes and found something dry to slip me into in his pack. They’re all way too big for me, but they're dry and I can’t make any complaints about it. 

“Was distracted,” he mutters to himself, hands pulling my damp hair off my neck and into a swift braid. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m ok, Rhys,” I assure. Some warmth already returning to my stiff limbs.

He still doesn’t hear me as he leads me back over to where a roaring fire now blooms in the heart of the cave. A few of the men stand around it, warming their hands, but the rest remain dutifully near their horses, waiting. 

Rhys throws a blanket around my shoulders as he helps me sit like I’m incapable of doing it on my own. At least all the supplies had been covered in waterproofing before we set out. Nothing has been ruined. Anything too soaked to be of use gets left draped over some rocks near the fire to dry out.

“Better?” His own wet clothes make a puddle around him as he kneels next to me, making sure I’m fully wrapped up in the blanket. 

“Better,” I confirm, and I mean it, the heat is delicious, warming the rock beneath us so that the chill is no longer seeping through my clothes. 

He leans in to kiss me gently on the lips, like I’m made of glass or something. “I’m sorry.”

I try to reach for his hand to assure him that I am fine, but he pulls away before I can. 

“Stay with her while I finish the wards,” he orders Azriel.

I drag my attention away from Rhys to look at the other Illyrian. The orange glow of the fire of the sharp planes of his face make him look like a primordial god. 

“You shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel returns, muscular arms crossed firmly over his chest.

Rhys huffs as he strides past him, “Stay. With. Her.” Then he’s back on his horse and riding back into the rain before anyone else can try and stop him. 

Azriel sends some of the men out with him before settling down next to me on the floor.

I don’t know Azriel well enough to start up a conversation, at least, rationally I know that. That doesn’t stop me from trying anyway. “Is he ok?”

Azriel throws his wet boots to the floor to dry out with a sigh. “Today’s a bad day.” His wings flair out behind him, shaking out water droplets that make the fire hiss and sputter.

I glance at the remaining men, who make themselves comfortable and busy doing anything other than sit near the two of us.  “What’s today?” 

Hazel eyes flick briefly to me, and I get the distinct impression he’s sizing me up, before he goes back to starring in the fire. “Feyre…”

Shit.

“She died five years ago today.”

I glance back towards the mouth of the cave, out into the rain, even though I can’t see him out there in the dark. 

“She…” Azriel throws another log into the fire with the energy of someone who just needs to be doing something with his hands. “She was pregnant. A boy. They’d just found out the gender.”

I don’t know what to say. The beast that lives caged beneath my skin howls and rages against my bones, like it might break free and rip through the pain I feel shred my soul at the realization of how deeply Amarantha had hurt him. My claws tear easily through my nail beds.

“He always gets like this on the anniversary,” Azriel continues. “Usually does some reckless shit and drinks himself half to death.” He too glances out the mouth of the cave. “Give him some space tonight, ok?”

I nod, not trusting my voice to speak. 

“He’ll need you in the morning. It’s usually worse the day after, when he wakes up and realizes…” he trails off.

“When he realizes she’s not coming back,” tears prick the corners of my eyes. How many mornings had I awoken, still anxious that my mother had wandered off while I slept, only to remember she was gone?

“Yeah.”

“Will you check on him, in a bit?” I tuck my head against my knees. 

“No,” Azriel replies. “If I leave you alone tonight…” he lets the words hang there, but I get the point. The look in Rhys’ eyes earlier was clear enough. If he thought for even a second that I was in danger tonight, after what he’d already lost, he might just tear the whole world apart.

I pull the blanket tighter around myself and lean back against a boulder, trying to get comfortable. I’ll just have to wait up for him then. He has to come back eventually, right? He’s not so distracted by the date that he’d stay up in the rain all night, would he?

Azriel brings some food out for me a little while later, and some of the men start playing card games to pass the time. We don’t speak any more after that though, the silence only broken by the pounding of the rain against the mouth of the cave. I barely have the stomach to eat anything, I just keep staring at the entrance, waiting.

Today isn’t the day to ask him why he chose me. Tomorrow won’t be either. That’s ok. For whatever reason, it doesn’t feel like it matters right now. He needs me. I’ll be here. Whatever the reason fate brought us together, whatever either of us intended to do, tonight it’s irrelevant. Tonight I don’t want to think about all the trouble behind me. I just want to be here for him, like he has been for me. 

The hours start to tick by. Some of the men unfurl their sleep mats around the fire and drift off. Azriel sits dutifully beside me, spinning his dagger in his hands, only getting up every now and then to feed the fire. Rhys still doesn’t return. 

My fingers drift absently to my chest, to that spot where I sometimes feel that thing that ties me to Rhys. I don’t know that it’s really a bond, it seems cruel that the Mother would tie me to him when he deserves someone better than me, but tonight I hope that it is something. I push on it, hoping that there’s another end where he can feel me. An end that tells him I’m here if he needs me, if he wants me. I can’t replace her. Or what he’s lost. I won’t even begin to try, but if he wants me, I will be here, waiting.

“You should get some sleep,” Azriel says after a while.

I shift my position to be a little closer to the fire. “No.” I don’t need to explain myself, so I won’t try.

An hour past midnight, horses come into view through the downpour. As I sit up, hopeful that he’s finally back, Cassian dismounts from a horse covered in mud. Mor follows, barely conscious, her rain slicked hair plastered to her face. She yawns as she stumbles over to the fire, and strips right there in front of everyone, her wet clothes hitting the floor with a thwack. 

I don’t miss the way Azriel quickly looks away from her. 

Cassian only chuckles as he throws a fresh pair of clothes at her. 

Once she’s changed and holding her own blanket, she settles down next to me with a grin. “Guess you guys win this time around!”

“Yeah,” the words come out of me absently, my gaze still fixed over her shoulder, trying to see past Cassian and the rest of his men as they file in. 

Azriel stands to help them light a second fire, further blocking my view. 

“He was right behind us,” Mor assures, following my gaze. 

I find myself biting my lower lip again as my gaze jumps from one male to the next. Where is he? He should be back by now! But none of the faces that slowly come into view as Azriel gets the fire going is the one I want to see. 

My lip is bleeding from how much I’ve been biting on it tonight; I move to start biting at my nail instead. He shouldn’t be out there this long! Azriel says he gets reckless, did he do something stupid? What if he’s hurt?

Mor reaches out to grab my wrist and only then do I realize how deeply I’ve been digging my knuckles into the knot that’s been steadily forming in my chest. Her eyes are gentle as she pulls my hand away. “We weren’t followed, he’s fine.”

The beast beneath my skin snaps and growls. He’s not fine! He’s alone out there in the cold and rain, in pain and I can’t shake the feeling that he needs me… but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it.

“He shouldn’t be alone.”

She glances over to Azriel and Cassian before looking back to me. “Trust me, he wants to be. Just give him space.”

The minutes drag on for eternity. Mor lays down next to me and drifts off almost immediately. I’m so restless I’m about to start pacing. I might have actually gotten up and done it if Azriel’s disapproving gaze didn’t land on me the moment I tried to stand back up. Bastard!

It’s probably no time at all before Midnight finally comes riding through the rain into the mouth of the cave, but it feels like eternity, as if I’d been holding my breath the whole night. The knot in my chest loosens as Rhys jumps out of the saddle and finds some scraps of cloth to dry the horse off with. 

His cloak is still drying across the fire, his clothes now sopping wet. Every move he makes leaves a puddle behind him. The strands of his dark hair have slipped free from the knot he’d tied them in, the long locks now clinging to his face. It takes everything in me not to get up and push them out of his way for him. 

He strips down to his boxers quickly, tossing his ruined clothes somewhere behind him carelessly. The glow of the fire makes the circles under his eyes darker as he snags a wineskin from one of the men. 

I watch as Cassian tries to make a joke, but Rhys just huffs at him as he pushes his hair out of his face and takes a long drink from the skin. 

I’ve waited all this time to make sure he’s ok, but now that he’s back I don’t know what to do. Azriel told me to stay away tonight, and by the looks of it, he’s following his own advice as he finally retrieves his mat and lays down near the entrance of the cave. Cassian hovers for a few minutes, trying to make conversation, but Rhys just keeps drinking and ignoring him, his gaze lost in the flames. Eventually he gives up and gets his own mat ready for bed. 

I wait, watching as Rhys finally sits down in front of the other fire, the light glistening off his damp skin. The shadows trace his tattoos like I often find myself wishing to do with my fingers. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m supposed to make this better for him. But when my world fell apart, he’d come and held me, so maybe he needs that too?

I swallow the lump in my throat as I finally stand, dragging the blanket with me. 

For once, Rhys doesn’t seem to notice me, eyes still locked in the flames as he brings the skin to his lips and drinks again and again and again. 

I should be afraid of him. All the males in my life were violent drunks. The scars on my side are a testament to that. Rhys is stronger than all of them, and I have no idea what he’s like drunk. But I only feel trepidation because I don’t want to make his pain worse, not because I think he’ll hurt me. I don’t think he’s capable of that.

I take the blanket off my shoulders and drape it around his, careful of where his damp wings drape across the floor. Only then does he glance up at me, his eyes glassy. Wordlessly, his hand brushes over mine, barely holding on, just enough to give me a little tug, asking me to sit. For a moment, I just sit next to him under the shared blanket, but his skin is so cold! He’s not shaking only because he’s had enough to drink to keep him from noticing.

Damn me, and the stupid thing that lives in my chest that feels like it’s breaking from my inability to fix this. I’d thought what I was feeling might be pity at first, but now… now I can’t help but think I manifested this somehow, when I asked him all those days ago if he would show me how to be a good mate. 

I had spent most of my life wishing this kind of pain on him. I’ve gotten what I wanted and I hate every bit of it. This isn’t what  I want at all!

Slowly, unsure of myself, I twist so I can wrap my arms around his waist. At the very least, my body heat might keep him warm. He stills under my grip, body rigid. Maybe this was the wrong move, maybe Azriel was right and I should have stayed away.

“What are you doing, mate?” He whispers in my ear, voice slurring.

I tuck my head against his bare chest. “Want to hold you.”

“Why?” His hands shake as they trail down my spine. 

“You’re sad.” That’s an understatement, but I don’t know how else to put it. “I’m not very good at this comforting thing, you know? But you’ve held me when I’ve been sad so I thought, maybe, you would want that too.”

He goes quiet for a bit and I think maybe I’ve lost him to the horrors that plague his mind again, but then he tosses the wineskin to the floor and rolls us both onto our sides on the rough stone ground. The stone is uncomfortable without a mat, but he shifts so his arm is beneath my head, and glides my leg up over his hip so we’re chest to chest. I’m not sure how warm he’ll be with the fire at my back, but I hope my body heat will transfer to him well enough. 

“You didn’t have to stay up for me,” he says.

I gently trace my fingers over the swirls of ink on his chest. “I know, but I wanted to. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

He nuzzles his face against mine. “Will you stay with me?”

“For as long as you need,” I assure.

His wing comes up to cover us, but he doesn’t close his eyes, fingers drawing lazy shapes against my back. 

“You should sleep,” I try but he shakes his head.

“Not tonight.”

I wonder if he sees what he’s lost as clearly as I do in my dreams, but it feels like a bad time to ask. No need to further dredge up those awful memories. 

“You said you used to tell your mother stories,” he says, the firelight dancing over his face. “Will you tell me one?”

It is an easy rhythm to fall into, as easy as breathing. The words spill out of me, the tale weaving itself along with the tempo of the crackling wood and the pouring rain around us. I tell story after story about the nymphs and the dryads, in a world long before Hybern and Amarantha, long before war tore our people apart. I talk until the fire starts to die, and the rain becomes a dull thud against the rocks outside; until the words become as heavy as my eyes. He never says anything during my tales, but he never closes his eyes either, hands still wandering absently up my back. The gesture more soothing than he realizes, I don’t think anyone had ever held me like this. My eyes droop despite my best efforts, words starting to slur.

“You should sleep,” he says.

“Don’t want to leave you alone,” I confess, but my eyes are so, so heavy. The strain of the last few days still weighs on me. 

My vision is blurry, sleep pulling on the edge of my consciousness, so it has to be a trick of the light that I see tears in his violet eyes.

He buries his head in the crook of my neck, breath stuttering out of him, and I realize that it’s no trick. Not when I can feel the damp stain across my sleeve. He muffles a sob in my shirt, the dull thundering of the rain enough to cover the rest. My fingers move instinctively into his hair, brushing through the tangled strands., my senses once again alert and awake.

The knot in my chest aches so deeply I think it might keep me awake for days.

“I wasn’t fast enough,” he whimpers. 

Gods, how many times had I whispered that very thing into the dark, rocking myself to sleep, trying to soothe myself with all the possible ways I could have saved my parents, even when I knew it was futile? 

“There was nothing you could have done.” That’s what you’re supposed to say, right? It sounds right. Sounds like what I wanted someone to tell me when I spiraled down into the depths of my depression. 

“It should have been me,” he sobs.

I draw him tighter against me. If I had any way to draw that pain out of his chest and take it into my own I would. I’d do anything, offer any distraction, sacrifice any plan, to take that burden off my mate.

The world feels like it zeroes in to that one, particular point.

My mate.

Of all the godsdamned times for it to click into place, for him to be right, it had to be here, in this damp cave when I have no idea how to make any of this better. I’m out of my element, in more ways than one.

“You…” I’m having a hard time breathing around the knot in my chest--no, the tether in my chest, all jumbled and tangled by all the fucked up stuff between us, but a tether none the less. “You can’t think like that.”

“You don’t understand-” he growls into my throat, but I cut him off, “Yes, I do. I do understand what it feels like to have the people you love ripped from you.”

His body stills under my hands again.

“I understand the emptiness, the loneliness, how… dark and cold and fucking brutal the aftermath is because there is suddenly no one there to tell you that it’s not your fault. There’s no one to assure you that they would want you to live and not carry the weight of it on your shoulders every godsdamned day.”

He slowly tilts his head back to look at me, his face tear streaked. I move my hand out of his hair to brush some of it off his cheek. “No one can replace what you lost.”

Slowly, he leans his head into my touch. “And I’m so sorry that you’ve lost so much.”

It’s unfair that one person should have to lose so many of the people that he loves; looking at him, I can’t believe how close I was to bringing even more pain into his life. If I had succeeded… gods I would have been worse than my father!

“But I have to believe that you are still here for a reason.” He should get to have a life! Whatever that costs me, he’s more than earned it. “Even if you haven’t found that reason yet.”

Rhys leans back down against my shoulder with a sigh that makes his wings shake. “It’s so heavy,” he whispers.

My hands go back to his hair, working through the knots the rain has created. “Show me how to help you carry it?”

His wing comes back over me again, his weight now fully on me. Somehow, it feels like that helps the tether linking us together settle. The ache… soothed, just a bit. I drift my hands from his hair down his back, careful to avoid his wings, soothing over hard muscle, until his breathing stops feeling so shaky. 

“Distract me,” he whispers.

“Whatever you need, Rhys, I’m here,” and I mean it.

“Tell me another story?”

“As many as you like,” I promise. It’s the least I can do, for my mate. I shove all the fear and uncertainty the word brings to mind into a quaint little box in the back of my mind; bury it under layers of emotional damage I’ve never dealt with and refuse to let my thoughts run away with me. I will figure it out tomorrow. I will find a way to make sure I don’t become another scar on his heart. He can’t ever know what I planned to do… it would ruin him.

And I wouldn’t survive it.

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Thank you all for your patience! <3 I'm trying to get back on schedule with this!

[angelic-iam]

Stroke Of Luck Chapter One

Warnings: Profanity, angst, adult themes and conversations, hints at infertility, infidelity, death , light violence

A/N: Please excuse any grammatical errors I tried to go through it as best I could .second bear with me if its not up to reading standard im trying to jump back into my writing bag and this will be my first story I've actually released so I might be a bit rusty lol but please enjoy

Word count: 4273

Series Master List

I sat on the front porch of my family home trying to hold it together as I watched my father put the last of jordans bags into the car .Today was the day I had been dreading the most my older brother Jordan was going away again on deployment .He had told us months ago about his decision to reenlist and I had been preparing myself for his departure hoping it would put me at ease. It didn't. My brother is one of my best friends and to see him leave was going to leave me with a void. Even through my dismay however I was proud of him even if in this moment my emotions didn't allow for me to show it.It didn't take long before the empty space beside me was filled with a familiar face. I turned to see Jordan, his face filled with sadness. Respecting the space I was in he allowed for us to sit in silence a moment before deciding to break it. “you okay?” he asked concern laced in his voice. I shook my head “not really," I replied softly, trying to avoid eye contact knowing I would cry. He sighed pulling me into his side as the tears began to prick my eyes.” I promise this time will fly by so fast you won't even realize” he said kissing my forehead .”No jo I will notice it will not be the same without you. who else will keep me sane dealing with ma and jade you're the only thing holding us together “ I croaked “ Theres always facetime if that doesn't work then we write, and if that don't work I'll send a pigeon” he joked Not being able to it in hold in a laughed spilled from my lips Jordan joining in seconds later “Jo it's time to hit the road” our fathers voiced called out .Jordan nodded his head signaling for my dad to give him a moment. Jordan stood pulling me up with him into a hug me, nuzzling my face into his chest feeling the water works starting back up. “I love you so much josie” he said wiping a stray tear that slipped free “I love you more jo” I said turning him loose. “Oh, and sis do me one last favor” he said walking down the porch steps “name it” I called out “smile no more tears”. I cracked a small smile as he turned making his way to the car climbing in leaving me in a broken mess as I watch my dad's chevy Tahoe disappear down the road.

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

In the same spot I stood five years later staring down the same dirt road my brother wouldn't have the opportunity of returning to. He was gone. Jordan was sent in on a rescue mission to save a fellow marine of his platoon, ironic in the end he ended up being the one needing saving. Shit went south and my brother was shot and killed in the line of fire. I was angry feeling as if the universe had slighted me robbing me of being able to share future moments with my brother. Him cheering me on when as I walked

the stage after completing nursing school, being a bridesmaid in his and his fiancé Arielle's wedding, holidays, birthdays. Gone. The only presence of him now in this moment was his framed picture that stood in the front of our family home for the repass. Not wanting to continue allowing myself to drown further in my grief I turned walking up the steps primary focus locating one of two people Arielle or my cousin India . It didn't take long to find ari talking with one of my aunts. Arielle was short in stature compared to most with smooth golden-brown skin that seemed to glow as the warm rays peaked through the window and a fit physique that would put Tyra banks to shame. No doubt courtesy of her personal trainer profession. Her round face framed with voluptuous curls. It was amazing to see her strength. Throughout her struggle a dimpled smile still adorned her face one that caused her Chinky eyes to disappear as she laughed. Noticing me walking over she politely closed out her conversation with my aunt walking to meet me. “Where did you disappear to “she quizzed giving me a slight nudge “ I needed some fresh air the condolences and sorry for your losses were becoming overwhelming” I huffed "Trust, I get it I have to many people asking me what i'm going to do with me and our son” she stated shifting uncomfortably. My heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine how it is to become a widow, single parent, and having to break the news to kaizen.

“for whatever your move or decision is you're not alone. You got me forever and so does nugget “I Said with half smile. She giggled at the nickname I assigned kaizen at birth. We glanced over watching the mini version of Jordan running around the house with the other kids.” I almost forgot your dad wanted to see us in the kitchen” she stated switching the topic. I nodded as we made our way to the cramped kitchen pushing past multiple bodies. My dad stood looking down at my mother with admiration as they talked among themselves “Hey daddy “I greeted walking over as he pulled me into a hug “Hey baby come sit your sister should be here in a moment” he said ushering me and ari to sit. I scrunched up my face at the mention of my sister. Jade and I had an exceedingly tenuous relationship. Jade was the youngest out of the three of us and was the golden child spoiled completely rotten. In my parents' eyes she could do no wrong and treated her as such. It didn't help that my mother drove the wedge and distaste for one another deeper pitting me and my sister against each other in a warped ass competition. Who is better than the other. My mother secretly rooted for jade while my dad on the other hands liked to play devil's advocate. Jordan was the only one who called them out holding everyone ,including myself accountable. The final nail in the coffin was catching Jade and my then boyfriend of two years Darien in bed together not to mention she continues to see him. To say I was hurt and angry was an understatement and as my family (aside from Jordan) tends to do they brushed it under the rug. As if her ears were burning jade stalks in turning her nose up at the sight of me. Feeling myself become anxious and agitated I decided to jump start the conversation “everything okay you wanted to speak with us” I question. Dad sighed grabbing a stack of papers from the counter sitting down placing them in the middle of the table. “We are going to start sorting out your brother estate and assets “Now” I asked in disbelief “Yes per your mother request”. Still not understanding the urgency I pressed further “Why so soon?” I said.” I have something important to take care of so I asked mom and dad to move it up” jade answered nonchalantly “what could possibly be so important that were doing this the day of our brothers funeral “I gritted out finding myself becoming angry. Sensing this Arielle reached over taking my hand in hers giving it a light squeeze “I have a trip I'll be going on we didn't want to move the dates” jade shrugged.” A DAMN TRIP!! WERE GRIEVING AND YOU HAVE NO CONCERN OR REGARD FOR ME OR FOR ARRIELLE. MY BROTHER ISNT EVEN IN THE GROUND GOOD AND YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT A TRIP AND IF WE CALL IT LIKE IT IS YOU’RE WONDERING WHAT YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON FUCKING SELF-” 

“JOSELYNN TAYLOR, YOU MIND YOUR MOUTH IN MY HOME I DIDNT RAISE YOU TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND WE AREN'T GOING TO START NOW “My mom interrupted slamming her hand down on the table. “Dad” I turned to him secretly pleading for him to jump to my defense but as always nothing.” Josie, I get that you’re upset I do but let's just rip the band aid off and get this over with” he said pulling his reading glasses on his face. Meanwhile jade's face held a victorious smirk, and I wanted nothing more than to put it through some dry wall “The lawyers drew up the paperwork dividing the assets based on Jordan's will. He had a one hundred fifty-thousand-dollar life insurance policy that will be divided fourways between his parents, two sisters and fiancé Arrielle. His dodge challenger he left to his sister Jade Taylor while rest the remaining vehicles will go to his fiancé Arrielle Rodriguez” From the side of my eye I could see jade smiling. “As for his properties he leaves the townhome located in California 9870 Blancas Blvd. in Anaheim to Arrielle and lastly, the ranch house located at 1600 rose ridge rd here in Dallas Texas as well as the 8 acres surrounding it” My dad paused taking a moment to catch his breath as my sister sat up in her chair ready “ will be left to his sister Joselynn Taylor” he finished laying the paper on the table. Jade scoffed snatching up the paper reading it not believing what she's heard. I sat in shock looking over at Arrielle who nodded confirming it for me.

“ Me and Jordan decided to create a backup plan in case of a worst-case scenario. Never thought id actually have to execute it. We thought it'd be best if I moved back to Cali to be closer to my parents and family for support, the house is way too much for me and kaizen by ourselves and besides it would be a painful reminder to our son “she stated fighting tears. “He thought you were the most deserving seeing as your in school and jade has support from your parents figured it would be the best for you” ari said. "But that's not fair I got plenty of cars that's nothing can't you do something” Jade complained her turn now to plead with our parents. My mother diverted her attention now to me “Josie can't you switch it's not like you need it. You’re single, no kids unlike your sister who's been in a three-year relationship with Darien and expecting “she tried to reason while sneakily throwing jabs at me. I let my eyes dance between my parents and jade reading their body language. It was true. "You -your pregnant” I stuttered as a began to internally crack “Yes it was confirmed yesterday at the doctors. Four weeks along I think Darien is more excited than me” jade beamed getting a kick at seeing me squirm at the news “you know I could refer you to our doctor he could possibly help with that sour ass womb of yours” she bragged tossing her hair over her shoulder. I could feel my throat begin to close up as tears were now flowing down my face “Jade that's messed up and out of pocket l what is that to say to someone? You just be lucky your ungrateful behind received anything your words are uncalled for” Arrielle jumped in taking to my defense “thanks Arri for taking up for me, dad I can't do this I gotta go” I stood abruptly pushing myself away from the table storming out of the house hoping into my car speeding off.

I drove with no destination until my crying turned into dry heaving processing the news. Not only did I have to take my sister snatching my relationship with Darien from under me but now I have the pleasure to watch them start a family one that should've been mine. A shitty way to rub salt in the wound. Ten minutes passed by before the sound of coco jones ICU blared through the car's speaker. Taking a quick glance at the car screen. I see my favorite cousin India name displaying. I may not have had a sister relationship with Jade, but I did find one with India. If I wasn't with Jordan I was with her. Three musketeers. I tapped answer “hey India wassup” I asked trying to mask the fact I was just crying “Honey I should be asking you that seeing the way you just ran out of here what happened”. I sighed “It's a long story “I stated “ wanna talk about it over some drinks at dukes “she offered ‘ooh please link with you at 8” I replied “see you then” she agreed

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

I tossed back my second shot of tequila squeezing my eyes closed as the clear liquid burned my chest India taking the chance to laugh at my facial expressions. “Thats no ordinary liquor “ I coughed “ Yeah but your ass needs it , now do you want to tell me what happened back at uncle Melvins” she said getting straight to business “ Where to start let's see that bitch jades greedy ass talked to my mom to convince her to push up sorting out Jordans affairs disregarding the fact were hurting, the only good and surprising thing was Jordan left a house to me but of course jade with help from my mom couldn't let that slide nooo they had to degrade me and spring on me that jades pregnant by Darien, Jade finished with saying she can refer me to her doc for my quote sour womb” I rambled with air quotes causing India to spit out her drink “ I know you fucking lying” she blurted “I Wish I was “ I chuckled darkly signaling the bartender for another round “so are we dragging her now or later” she asked in all seriousness “ we can't she's pregnant” I retorted “ AND her face aint her lip would have been swole before she could leave the house” India shook her head completely dumbfounded “I'm honestly in a space of being mentally exhausted it feels like I've had the worst luck of the draw. I can't seem to maintain anything good “I said “Josie Girl, I love you but were gonna gone head and shut your self pity party down. Sure you're going through some shit right now but it's not the end of the world. Your smart as hell ,On your way to becoming a nurse, fine as hell with a fat ass” she joked giving my behind a poke causing me to laugh “besides there's nothing you've lost that can't be regained Darien left but he aint the only man left in the world. You just got to find the right one for you one that slangs the meat” she said gyrating “oh my god dee must you do that in public and why so loud” I said covering my face in embarrassment “ I don't care you need some but first you have to stop running them away” she teased. ”it's not my fault they can't handle me “I shrugged leaning against the bar. She wouldn't call it running them off more so like weeding out the bad. Joselynn was tough overall to crack. Her hard exterior was difficult to get through. She was already to some degree antisocial so to get a conversation from her was a blessing. Even then you had to be engaging enough to hold her attention both in and out of the bedroom as she got bored easily. She wasn't one to just settle for anything as the slightest misstep/red flag and you were gone. Joselynn knew part of it was due to Darien.” you need to come with a sign that says you bite” She teased tooting her lips up at me as I shoved her slightly laughing. Before I respond Tamia’s Can't Get Enough came over the bar's speaker causing hoops and yells to erupt. Instinctively me and India made our way over to where the line dance started joining in. I was grateful for the distraction India provided and the peace she managed to bring. We continued throughout the night to dance to a few more songs take a few more drinks to the head before deciding to call it a night. Stumbling into the house I kicked my shoes off at the door making my way to my bedroom struggling to find the light. I went to take a seat on my bed seeing both a letter and a manilla envelope. The envelope from my dad the letter from Jordan. My hands trembled slightly gripping the letter not wanting to pull myself back into a state of hurt. I sat the letter to the side grabbing the envelope ripping it open out tumbling out a set of keys, inside the deed to the house and a small note from my father  

Josie i'm sorry for earlier on behalf of your mother and sister inside is the deed for the house the keys as well as the address I love you always pops 

Part of me was still angry but I had a soft spot for my dad and he knew that. Officially tired I sat the paperwork on the side table stripping my clothes and turning off the light, deciding to shower in the morning. It wasn't long till sleep overtook me.

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

A month had passed since the day of the funeral and I had tried to bury the emotions of Jordan being gone so much that I buried myself in other things to keep my mind occupied. Working at the hospital being a CNA provided some distraction and what my job didn’t cover in the distraction field schooling took care of the rest. In its own way they also provided me an excuse and shielding from my unrelenting mother who still made it her business to call pestering me to rethink my decision about the home. I won’t. It was one thing I had power over, and I wouldn't relinquish it so easily. For the first two weeks of his passing I went back and forth on whether or not I would actually move into the home not feeling quite right about it but after starting to feel like things were becoming stagnant decided it was best to move. I slowly drove up the light graveled path mouth dropping at the sight of the house that sat nestled at the end of the dirt road. It was a stunning two-story ranch style house with a wraparound porch. Coming into a stop I tossed the boxed moving truck into park hopping down to get a better look at the home “this is gorgeous “India stated walking up after parking her car. “I agree can't believe he left this for me” I marveled taking it all in “well believe it toots now let's gawk at it from the inside we got work to do” she declared holding her hand out for the truck keys. Dropping them into her hands she went to grab the first box as I went to open the door. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior. The multicolored stone walls paired well with the mahogany hardwood floors and high ceilings. The set up with the furniture accented well no doubt due to Arrielle's careful selection when they were here.” Girl this is neeiceeee it don't smell like roaches in here or nothing "India shouted carrying in one of the boxes “You don't have the sense you were born with” I chuckled at her reference to girls trip “you ready to get this over with”. She groaned knowing just like me how long of a process unpacking was going to be. Without another moment of hesitation we jumped in getting started.

After what felt like years later I folded the last of my clothes, placing them away as India flopped on my bed groaning. “ I hate your don't need a man for shit mentality that was horrible” she grumbled “ It wasn't that bad” I giggled plopping down beside her “ Like hell it wasn't my ass is going to be hurting for days” she countered “I'll make it up to you I promise” I teased pinching her cheek “ yes you will tonight I want dinner fried chicken, mac the works” she responded smacking my hand away sitting up on her elbows “ Your joking” I asked not knowing if she was serious or not “nope I'm serious”. “Dee I don't feel like it” I whined “tough shit” she said not wavering. She was just as stubborn as I was.” Fine but you're getting the groceries” I huffed out relenting. “Cool with me I'm gonna go home shower then i'll swing back”. She jumped up grabbing her keys walking out. Taking this as an opportunity I grabbed a t-shirt and underwear from my drawer walking into the large master bathroom. I turned on the shower allowing the warm water to run relaxing my tense muscles strained by the lifting. After I finished I got dressed walking back in the room looking for my phone realizing I must have left it downstairs. Making my way to the stairs I could see the light from the living room reflecting on the wall. I figured India may have left it on that was until it flicked off. I froze on the top stair as my mind began to race, trying to rationalize what I saw. Maybe it was India. No, she wouldn't be back that quick. Maybe it was a blown fuse but a scared part of me didn't want to chance it. Tip toeing back upstairs I looked for something to use as a weapon eyes landing on the hammer I had used earlier to hang photos. Clutching it tight I slowly crepted downstairs the only noise was the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. Rounding the corner I froze seeing a figure standing a few feet away in the doorway the moonlight highlighted their 5’8 figure while providing shade from their face. Fear momentarily fueling me I got ready to charge forward when someone grabbed hold of my wrist twisting it causing my grip on the hammer to loosen eventually dropping it. Not having time to process what was happening I was grabbed and flipped on my back pinned down by the larger party. Still I struggled against the intruder managing to momentarily free my arm. I drew my arm back throwing blows anywhere they would land this didn't do anything but piss the person of as I was lifted slightly from the floor and slammed back down causing me to yelp in pain. Panic set in flooding through my nervous system. “TERRY WAIT SHIT I THINK THAT'S A WOMAN” a voice cut through from the other side. The lights flicked on seconds later giving me the chance now to get a look at the intruders. The one by the door stubbled faced held panic as he too assessed our current situation. Remembering the heavy weight at my midsection my eyes shot to the one who had me pinned. My breath hitched in my throat.

His honey kissed face glared back down at me while his plump lips twisted up in a snarl. His chiseled arms flexed as he kept me held in place but the most defining thing however. His eyes. A beautiful pool of blue gray encircling hints of hazel and green something similar to a painter who accidentally had his watercolor paints blending together into a perfect mess. “If I let you go do you promise to not do anything stupid” his baritone voice questioned snapping me from my awkward eye raping. I nodded in response. He stood pulling me effortlessly up with him. “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?” I asked finding my voice coming back as I rubbed my now sore shoulder. “I'm Mike that's terry" the one from the doorway answered “sorry if we scared you” he said sheepishly. “Scared is an understatement and that still doesn't answer why you're here or why I shouldn't be calling the cops for breaking and entering and assault” I fussed through gritted teeth. Still not saying much since turning me loose the one name terry walked past me grabbing something from his bag on the floor walking back over to me handing me a piece of paper. Jordans handwriting.

Hey T if you're receiving this letter it's because I'm dead. It's funny thinking on it seeing as the squad always joked calling me mister invincible but yet here I am gone. I thank you for always being there for me since meeting you you've always been like a brother to me rather than a fellow marine in arms. Given our prior conversation about your situation, I wanted to do one thing for you. I offer you T a place of solitude if you ever need to get away the address is listed below keys are hidden in the porch light fixture. Continue to be great .. I love ya man  

                                                          Jordan signing out for the last time 

I looked up at him handing the letter back to him. "You knew my brother” I said feeling the wave of his death rushing back again. I watched as his face widened in realization of who I was. “Yes we served together. I apologize for roughing you up I didn't realize you were Jordans sister. I thought you might have been someone that had broken in. I nodded understanding. “it's fine I thought the same” I said calming down. “Look we don't want to crowd your space and sorry for the intrusion. I didn't think anyone would be here. Your brother as you can failing to mention you moving in we will leave” Terry said signaling for mike to grab their bags. I sighed looking towards the ceiling having an internal battle with myself and before I could stop myself the words flew from my mouth “You can stay”

[leefail]

I was thinking... The Robins was a mobile adoption sim (otome game style), launched a few years back with the hope of a revolutionary take on the dating sim genre. The game, though, lost its audience real quick. Because it wasn't a dating sim.

And then we have Bruce Wayne, a multibillionaire shut-in, never seen outside of the Wayne Manor ever since his parents met their tragic death, with the one person who remembers he existed being the Waynes' aged butler.

Don't let his being a shut-in fool you, Bruce was never good with electronic devices, let alone video games. His days were mostly spent sleeping and trying to chase the demons inside his head away with books.

That's how he downloaded The Robins, a click on an ad that told him to... click. (In big bold green letters with an arrow) It got him to the downloading link, and he just downloaded it.

Bruce became an addict. The game had four main capture targets: Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian. Along with a bunch of other secret routes you can unlock during your playthrough.

The gameplay was simple enough. You just have to increase a character's favourability to the max for them to get adopted. Favourability increases with each unlocked special scene, and special scenes are unlocked with a certain number of successful interactions.

Special scenes were Bruce's favourite part. He'd hold his breath so tight and sit straight like a scholar for an exam and give all of his attention to the screen. You wouldn't guess he was playing a game.

The first one he played was with Dick. The young adult was sitting on the rooftop and Bruce followed him there. They talked and joked. Bruce never thought it was a special scene until the spark in Dick's eyes was gone, and he told him about his parents' death.

"Sometimes," Bruce could only see Dick's side profile as he talked, "Sometimes I wonder, Bruce. Would this have happened if I just... wasn't there? Could I have been a... a changeable variable?"

"Am I still a changeable variable?"

... For an even bigger tragedy that is about to happen.

As Dick's loud cries filled the room. Bruce's pillow became soaked with his own tears.

As for his favourite character? It was Jason, who, when Bruce finally maxed his favourability points with, disappeared instead of getting adopted. Bruce was so upset about it he spent a whole night writing a harsh criticising review. A gamer took a screenshot of his comment later, and it became an embarrassing meme that was the talk of the gaming community for a while. Bruce wasn't aware of this because he didn't have social media. (I need to mention that his username in the app store was his actual full name)

You can imagine the stress he felt when Jason returned with the rage of a burning sun.

"You know what I hate most about you, Bruce?"

His gloved hands clutched the neck of Bruce's character shirt, yanking him up so they're face to face. "It's that you're a fucking coward"

"It only took one tiny inconvenient problem for you to hide in your little corner and just give up"

"Because, heh" Jason's expression was vicious when he grinned mockingly, devastatingly at Bruce's face, looking straight through the man's phone sceen "you're saaadd. You just lost the closest thing you have to a son, so you're a sad, pathetic, miserable loser. It's an enough justification for you to just. Stop. Tryyyinggg!"

"If I wanted a dad. It wouldn't be someone who'd make my absence the blame for whatever cowardly shit he's on."

"It would be someone who even when I die, would fucking carve mountains with my name so no one could forget.

... I never died, Bruce. But everybody forgot"

"If I wanted a dad, it would be someone who'd hold my hand, " Jason caught Bruce's character's shoulder in a death grip, " and pull me up, he would come to me...

He- he would pull himself out of his own stupid head just so he could come to me" when Jason cried, Bruce closed the game.

For the long time Bruce spent wallowing in his room. Never had he felt so... heavy as he did in the later days. He could sense the weight of food in his stomach, and his butt would be numb no matter how many times he changed his position. He was tired, spent, and no book could keep his attention for long. It got to the point where Pennyworth, his butler, finally talked to him for the first time after their big fight.

"Master Bruce, you are not touching your food. Are you alright?"

Bruce's throat twisted in on itself.

No, he was not, and had not been for a long, long time.

He didn't reply, instead.. he opened the game.

He still got Tim and Damian to capture. After all.

[xoxodropletsneedsmorefanfics]

Hey! Read this rant/OLNF-XOXOD theory I wrote instead of writing the essay for my finals

It’s 3am, I rambled a bit, but it’s still interesting to me. #BaePyounforOLNFStep2

Alright, this has been keeping me up at night and I need to share this theory with the XOXOD/OLNF community.

Who's gonna be the other member of the jerk squad that shows up in OLNF?

Based on my sources (aka, random sneak peeks l've seen after obsessively going through old posts), I know my husband Pran shows up in Step 1 in OLNF, just like how Shiloh showed up in Step 1 of OLBA.

In OLBA, we met Shiloh in Step 1 as a 7 year old, met Jeremy in Step 2 as a 12 year old, and saw the both of them again in Step 3 as 17 year olds (and Nate briefly showed up too, but only by text box).

So that opens the question: is another jerk gonna show up with Pran in OLNF?

Answer: I dunno, maybe. I wish. I hope.

A better question, the one l've mainly been cracking down on is...who's it gonna be.

JB is probably never going to show up, she'll probably only be mentioned again.

(Can't wait for the randomized moment where I get to ask Pran how things are with her...if he even talks to us)

We've already had Jeremy and Snake Boy in OLBA, so they're out.

It might be possible, but I feel like Nate and Everett are out too. Just because they were both thrown in boarding school super young. And although it'd be fun to 14 year old Nate or Everett, I really don't think it's likely...unless they're on a field trip or something. Which I really don't see happening in the fall, but I could be wrong.

So we're left with the most likely option, Bae. I wish I would stop here, but the main reason this account exists is to write XOXOD scenarios.

When we met Jeremy in OLBA, there was the "Oh, a green haired boy? Sounds like Cove!...Never mind, get this green chihuahua away from sweet baby Cove."

Imagine meeting Bae: Tamarack/Qiu/ Another Character tells the MC "Yeah. There's this new kid visiting. He’s like our age, but acts way older!” And everyone who knows Baxter is just like “????”

I don’t actually know if Baxter’s gonna disappear after Step 1 or not

Reactions to Bae could vary like, Qiu, Baxter (if he’s around) and Ren disliking his sarcasm, maybe Tamarack not even realizing he’s being sarcastic, and MC having the choice to either hate the sarcasm or not understand the sarcasm.

It’d be funny if we had the option to just flat out punch Bae like we could Jeremy.

Plus, it would be a good chance for Bae and Pran’s “relationship” to be developed.

And the parallels of the Shiloh —> Jeremy pipeline with the Pran —> Bae pipeline would be so beautiful.

I know Pran hates everyone (except for Jeremy and the rest of the King, JB if she befriends/romances him, and seemingly Lynn), but I don’t think we’ve seen Pran fully hating Bae. There’s a whole scene in XOXOD where Bae’s just yapping away to Pran about some random thing and Pran actively decides to stay and listen because “he had nothing better to do”

Bae even covered for Pran during the field trip on Pran’s route.

This was supposed to just be me explaining why Bae’s probably also going to be in OLNF, but now after writing all this down at 2am. I REALLY want Bae to show up too. I wanna see baby Bae and baby Pran. And then the two of them interacting one on one as teens through the OLNF gang.

GBPATCH! MAKE THIS A REALITY! AND MY MONEY IS YOURS!

Ok, I’m done now, bye.

[skyartworkzzz]

I came back to promp another lore ramble

Also could we get a status update on the fic? I really want to see nari go back in time for the lamb

YIPPEEEEEEEEE love me lore ramble!

FIRST AND FOREMOST, OFC!! Heres a tiny lil update of the fic so far! I finally got back to writing it and am just struggling to find out what happens next.......but I promise its in the works! <3

NOW onto the ramble! Yesterday I went a bit ham on my Creepypasta reimagination, so thats what we will be talking about today! Specifically centered around Jeff the Killer CUZ IM THAT PREDICTABLE OKAY-

Anyways! Lore under the cut <3 tw for violence and gore!!

Jeff The Killer:

My Jeff is around his 35 years old and is the younger brother of Liu, who's only 1-2 years older and works as an architect

The brothers share the same apartment, Jeff decided to move in with Liu after living with their parents for a while. Hes currently trying to amount enough money in order to move somewhere of his own

Jeff suffers from depression and has psychotic episodes from time to time, so he has to take meds. Even after he became a killer, he still steals the needed medication to keep his mental exhaustion in check

From time to time, their lower-floor neighbor Ms. Harper calls Jeff to fix her old sink. Everytime Jeff goes over, her son pesters him for fun, which is why Jeff hates him

One day, both Jeff and Liu are invited to the bday of Ms. Harper's son, which was being held at his aunt's house. While in the party, her kitchen sink floods and so she asks Jeff to fix it. While doing so, Ms. Harper's kid accidentally throws chemicals on Jeff's face after trying to prank him with his friends

Jeff is then driven to the hospital by Liu, but they suffer a car crash, which makes Jeff's face melt down and turn pale white. Liu suffered the major damages and had to go through surgeries to put his organs back in place

When Jeff wakes up and sees the damage that was done, he suffers a mental breakdown which leads him to murder Ms. Harper's son. Once the deed was done, he disappeared and started his serial killing career

Jeff cut his lips into a smile specifically to terrify Ms. Harper's son, as if guilting him bout thinking what he did was funny

Before going off the radar, Jeff visited Liu one last time without others knowing, saying he didnt blame his brother for what had happened. Liu, although half-conscious, was able to hear Jeff telling him to go back to sleep

Homicidal Liu:

HONESTLY my Liu doesnt have much of "homicidal" to him LMAO

After the events that led both him and Jeff into the hospital, Liu went through surgeries to recover and was in a coma for a couple of days, which was the time it took for Jeff to start his killer life

When Liu woke up and learned that his brother had disappeared, he quickly volunteered to help and search for him, until finally discovering he was a murderer

Convinced to bring him back to his senses, Liu begged to be part of the police operation to capture Jeff, after proving he could be of use for knowing how his brother worked. And so, he was teamed up with a detective called Jane, who was in charge of arresting Jeff

After much investigation and searching, Liu and Jane finally came face to face with the killer, but came to a fight which led Jeff to carving a smile on Liu's face too and almost ripping his eyelids off like his own. Liu was led back to the hospital after this and received stitches

Seeing as they were lacking experience to capture Jeff, both the detectives accepted to undergo a special training. However, due to Liu's physical state, he wasn't able to finish it and decided to remain on the more schemeful side of the operation rather than direct combat

Given his stitches on his mouth and the horrible wounds his brother left on him, Liu constantly uses a mask and clothes that cover most of his body

Jane the Killer:

Jane works as a detective for the police, she is happily married to a woman named Mary and both live in a spacious, fancy apartment

Her parents were kindhearted and lived with her little sister, Jessie, in a simple house around the quieter parts of the city

Being one of the best agents and praised by the government, Jane was tasked with tracking down Jeff and bringing him to justice. It was during this search that Liu came into contact with her, after learning she was in charge of the operation

Throughout the times they spent together trying to capture Jeff, the killer murdered Jane's parents as a warning for her to leave him alone. But understandbly, that only made her more convinced to seize him with a new goal in mind: kill Jeff

When Liu and Jane received the special traning, Liu wasnt able to participate due to his condition, but Jane carried out until the last step. She was injected with Liquid Hate and gained her superpowers, with the side-effects being her skin turning pale and her eyes and hair black

After the "training" was done, Jane came closer and closer to finally capturing Jeff, but with an unexpected drawback: she was now wanted by the police for committing crimes she couldnt remember doing. Given the new scenario, the detective started working as an underworld punisher

She still searches for Jeff and stays in touch with Liu, now secretly since she is also being hunted down. They both still work as partners from time to time trying to find his brother

Lil extras!

After her parents were killed, Jessie moved in with Jane and Mary, being a survivor of Jeff's wrath luckily for not being home that day

Liu does not know Jane intends to kill Jeff, and she will never tell him, for she knows he will try to stop her

The Liquid Hate project was actually a Proxy experiment, organized by one of Slenderman's Agents who was also the scientist in charge of the special training Jane and Liu received. Jane became a Sleeper thanks to said experiment, with homicidal tendencies she is luckily able to channel to wanted criminals

That is all for now! Theres a whole lot more I havent said here cuz omfg thats too long already

MAYBE ONE DAY ILL BE able to write my own fanfictions about these, who knows

Anyways! Bless chu for the curiosity <3

[ktyekmrf30]

5 years ago I was a little too naive and convinced that you can go to a therapist for 2-3 months and solve most of your life problems that were by your side for the 20 or so years. 2 years and 3 months ago I came to a session with a therapist for the first time after I almost broke down. Next wednesday I'll still go to the next session.

At first I thought that I went to a therapist primarily for myself, to live my best and more peaceful life - and this is mostly true. But then, after some time, I finally realized that there are also motives that I didn't want to admit at first even to myself. I went to a therapist to work through old traumas so that it would help me maintain relationships with my family and mother. I came to this thought for the first time and now I'm ready to admit that I went to heal my traumas for the sake of another person and not just for myself. As if there was something shameful or weird about changing and be better version of yourself for someone. And Q thought about it too.

But excluding this, Q, on the other hand, feels diametrically opposite to me. I believe that earlier, when he first went to therapy, it wasn't his idea, it was his father or the doctors who were seeing him with his sleepwalking and panic attacks, because at that time Q was a minor, teenager with no support system and with a strict father, and it's hard to decide for yourself that you need a therapist, especially when you 15-16yo. So it was definitely his doctor or his father because the doctor told him to. But then Q stopped going and it's been a few years now.

All this time Q didn't see any reason to continue working on himself, his fears, nightmares and sleepwalking for his own sake. But he wanted to do it for Min and he went to therapy with the primary thought that he was doing it for another person. And I actually think he's going to have the opposite situation just like me where after some time he finally acknowledges that, yes, maybe he initially sought help for the sake of another person, but he realized that he really needed help for his own sake in the first place, because several times on the show he had expressed the idea that he was lonely and desperate and was destined to die alone by himself. And that means he actually wanted to fix something in his life for himself, he just didn't dare to think about it or admit it.

Also I think it is so important to represent that no love will magically heal the traumas of the soul, that it is a long process during which you should be supported and not being judged by your loved ones and even after starting therapy nothing will disappear immediately, it is still a healing process, which is built differently for everyone. For someone it can take 4 months, 2 years or 6 years.

And at the end of the episode, Q is not fully cured and he has years ahead of him to get rid of all his demons, which can be awaken even in the most trivial everyday situations but it's still a happy ending. A realistic happy ending where you accept and learn to love the process of life and recovery. It's not about achieve the goal before we'll see ending credits because in real life there is just one chance for ending credits. And we were only shown the middle of Q's path, his happy ending journey during which Min fully supported him and will continue to support him. And there's something special about how Q looks happier and healthier in that last scene compared to what we saw from him before.

[sol-insidious]

UHHHHHH, courtesy of my fellow basement dwellers in the Dinluke Star Dads server, I made this really basic template for folks to sort their stor wors blorbos. Feel free to use it!

Here's mine under the line: