#when ur so emotionally constipated that this is the only thing u can do to show 'affection'

[luv4fushi]

omfg i litr read everything uve written off ur masterlist I NEED MOREEEE. i love the way u write megumi especially, i couldn’t get enough of it. i hope you write more of him, my heart aches for more tbh 🥹 tysm for being such a good writer and feeding us starved readers well

tysm! i'm sooo glad i can be a good source of megumi content for you >_< i looove writing megumi so you'll be seeing sooo much more of him, dw! happy holidays!

this december

jjk fushiguro megumi x fem!reader

it’s always colder on your own, especially around this time of year. you should be at home, bundled up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, but here you are in shinjuku, exorcizing curses with your ex boyfriend two weeks after your breakup with him. great.

content: post break up, aged up megumi (19/20), megumi is terrible at feelings, getting back together, fluff if you squint, a bit of angst, miscommunication, one bed (but it isn’t the main plot point sorry), megumi calls you baby like once, gojo is the best wingman, SHIBUYA ARC NEVER HAPPENED AND LIFE IS GOOD, not proofread im very sorry guys pls forgive me, kinda a word dump sry

word count: 5.8k (sigh this was supposed to be 2k words max)

click on my masterlist for more & merry christmas to those who celebrate!

it’s december 19th when satoru gojo tells you that he has a mission just for you. you’re less than ecstatic about it to say the least. the last thing you want to do is be sent to your death just shy of christmas day. you just want to rest your sore muscles and bask in the presence of your best friends. you’re not in the mood to kill any curses, mainly because you’ve just recovered from a previous mission.

“why me?” you groan.

gone are the days where you used to be a goody two shoes for satoru. you’re old enough to talk back now, not like when you had been a shy fifteen-year-old girl. besides, you’ve been around the silver-haired sorcerer long enough to know that he doesn’t mind the bite.

“sorry, kid,” satoru says with a shrug. at least he sounds genuine about it. “the higher ups requested for you specifically. they say you’ll get the job done in the cleanest way. we can’t have things getting messy before the holidays, right?”

“and you wouldn’t be the best choice?” you quip.

satoru only laughs. he ruffles your hair. even with your growth spurt and merciless training, he still towers over you. in a way, he’ll always be your mentor. “hey, i’m going out of town that weekend. give me a break.”

you huff petulantly. something about this mission seems fishy to you. you’re not nearly the strongest sorcerer out of the bunch of kids under satoru’s wings (not that you guys are kids anymore, but sometimes it’s hard to feel otherwise). hell, there’s the kyoto students. it feels like they never have to do anything. you wish that you were rebellious enough to chew utahime out for it.

“why couldn’t they just make yuta or megumi go?” you mutter under your breath. you stammer out megumi’s name and hope satoru doesn’t catch on to the way you can barely say it.

satoru knows about the breakup. why wouldn’t he? he’s basically megumi’s dad, even if the raven haired boy refuses to admit it. satoru’s six eyes mean you can’t hide anything from him (he’d been the first to know that megumi was head over heels for you).

satoru raises a brow. “oh, right. megumi’s coming along too.”

your face twists and you immediately whip around to glare at him. “you’re lying.”

“i wish,” he jokes. “i was really hoping i’d get a wedding invitation one day, you little rascal. i can’t believe you two broke up. maybe this’ll be a good thing!”

“i appreciate your honesty, but—”

“but megumi’s an emotionally constipated kid, yeah, that i know,” satoru laughs. he makes his way to the exit of his office which has you furrowing your brows. is your former teacher actually gonna just leave after making you come all the way here? how rude and so very in character of him.

“please, gojo,” you call out after him, “i don’t wanna go with him.”

“sucks for you,” satoru responds halfheartedly. “merry christmas. try not to take more than a week on this. you’ll have to pay the rest of the fee for accommodations if you do.”

“gojo!” you whine.

“it’s not a hard mission!” satoru insists like it’ll make your life any easier. “y’know, this time of year is when things get ugly. think of it as saving as many people as you can while putting in the least amount of effort!”

and then he teleports. your former teacher teleports away rather than being normal and walking out of the door. you roll your eyes and hope that he can sense it (you know he can’t).

so that’s why you’re here now. with your ex. on the elevator to your assigned room on the tenth floor. you’re so glad that it’s a normal hotel and not a love hotel. lord knows what you’d do if you had checked into a love hotel.

megumi hasn’t spoken a word to you since he broke up with you two weeks ago. it had been in the doorway to your apartment a few days after a particularly rough mission assigned to the both of you—the one you’re still recovering from. he’d pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet words into your ear. he gave you a look, one of those looks that made him soften his usually sharp eyes.

“i think we should break up.”

and then came the pathetic whimper of yours. he had wiped your tears, even kissed them tenderly, before telling you that it wasn’t your fault—it was his. how cliche.

now as you stand next to him, you want to beat yourself up for not asking for closure. neither of you had explicitly stated that you two were going to be no-contact, but it hurts a lot less to push the idea of forever with megumi away to the back of your mind. besides, you two aren’t confrontational like that. not with each other, anyway.

“need help?” his tone is soft, tender—the tone he reserves specifically for you, the one that tells you he still cares.

you stare down at the luggage at your feet. you’ve always been a chronic overpacker, a habit that megumi knows of by now. he watches you curiously, hands itching at his sides. you can tell that he wants to reach out and grab your suitcase like he always does. he thinks he isn’t obvious, but you can always read through the lines, especially when it’s megumi.

“i’m okay,” you croak out, clearing your throat awkwardly.

the elevator dings and you make your way to your room. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re sort of glad that you and your ex boyfriend are sharing a room. perhaps his’ll be a good way to get closure, though you’re not really sure what closure entails.

what you don’t expect is to unlock the door and be met with a singular bed.

if satoru gojo didn’t have a layer of infinity coating his body (and if he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive), you would’ve wrung out his neck.

megumi simply walks into the room, setting his duffel bag down on one of the dressers opposite from the foot of the bed. he doesn’t comment on the lack of double beds, seemingly already aware of the set up.all he does is puff out a weary sigh. you suck in a breath and follow him inside, slipping your shoes off at the entrance.

you lug your suitcase in after you along with your duffel bag and backpack. you stumble forward and megumi’s arm snakes around your waist, steadying you.

“careful,” he mutters, nonchalantly taking your bag off our your shoulders.

it’s a quick series of movements; he swings your bag over his shoulders and places it on the dresser next to the one he’s claimed while guiding you softly to the side of the bed so that you’re not standing in the middle of the doorway.

you scrunch your face, feeling your heart thump against your ribcage. it’s stupid how he still has such a hold on you, even after two weeks of not seeing or talking to him. he’s just so caring, so gentle. it stings, like little the little cuts you get when fighting curses, when you realize that this is something you’ll have to learn how to lose.

“thanks,” you manage to mutter. you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. you know from the way your throat tightens that you’ll be crying soon if you force yourself to talk any more.

“i can take the couch,” megumi says.

it’s that easy with him; he’s a gentleman, so of course he’d take the couch. that’s the way megumi fushiguro is—he offers a solution before you even have the chance to complain. in your year and a half long relationship, that skill of his had been a saving grace.

“no, don’t bother,” you croak. “i’ll book another room.”

“really?” he asks. he stands up a little straighter, awkwardly reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “i mean, i don’t mind sharing a room with you… we’ve..”

we’ve shared a room countless of times before.

megumi doesn’t have to continue his sentence for you to understand what he’s implying. you part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out except for a long, heavy sigh. your shoulders drop as you let the exhaustion seep into your bones. there’s no use arguing about it, not when you don't’ mind sharing a room with megumi, either.

“we’ve broken up,” you remind him in a quiet voice, like you’re afraid saying it out loud will make it truer than it already is.

megumi pauses. you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “i know that, but … it’ll be fine. we’ve shared a room as friends before.”

he’s right, like he usually is. you two have shared a room before as just friends, but that had been as teenagers—back when you both harbored such hardcore crushes on each other that you two somehow didn’t notice.

“right,” you find yourself agreeing with a small nod.

“you should go get ready for bed.” megumi begins grabbing a few or the decorative pillow off of the bed. he places them gingerly on the brown couch tucked in the corner of the hotel room. “we’ll be getting up pretty early to deal with the brunt of the mission.”

to finish this mission as quickly as possible, you think.

and so you oblige and head to the bathroom. it’s december 19th, just a few days shy of christmas day, and you’re in bed with your ex boyfriend on the couch just a few feet away.

december 20th greets you with megumi hovering over you. he peers down at you with his messy bangs covering his eyes. they’re piercingly blue as he blinks. his lashes flutter perfectly, even in the early morning. your eyes meet his and you jolt awake.

“good morning,” he says. “your alarm has been ringing for a bit now, so i turned it off.”

you blink rapidly, getting the tiredness out of your eyes. “oh.”

he chuckles softly, just enough for you to catch it with your ears. he rises from his crouched position and heads to the front door. he spares you a glance over his shoulder before he heads out, presumably giving you the privacy you need. you let out a strangled breath before you swing your legs over the bed and head to the bathroom.

by the time you’re finished putting on your uniform, you swing the door to your hotel room open and see megumi leaned up against the wall, tapping away on his phone. his dark blue eyes flicker up to you and he turns away to head down the hall.

you furrow your brows. you can’t help but think that he’s being a little cold to you. it isn’t like you initiated the breakup. despite your frustration with his behavior, you can sort of understand why he wouldn’t want to be sweet around you; you two aren’t dating anymore and so it makes sense that he’d go back to being aloof in your presence, the usual way he acts around everyone else. losing that position in his life makes your stomach churn for reasons you’re less than willing to uncover.

your mission is a vague one; all you know is that it’s a clean-up mission. rather than a level 1 curse (or even a special grade), the mission consists of an acclimation of weak curses surrounding shinjuku. these missions are normally given to younger, more inexperienced sorcerers with the help of a senior sorcerer, but for an odd reason, it’s been given to you and megumi this year. megumi could’ve probably handled it himself. actually, you could’ve handled it yourself.

you bite your tongue to hold back on your complaints as you walk just a step behind megumi. he pauses regularly, waiting for you to catch up to his side. you roll your eyes in secret. does he not realize that you don’t want to walk next to him?

“it’s all just bars,” you mutter.

with that, you earn a tiny laugh from megumi. “well, yeah. this is the red-light district of shinjuku.”

you pale. “this sucks.”

“why do you think i wanted to come out here in the morning rather than at night?” he says, his tone strangely light.

“to deal with the brunt of the mission,” you repeat his words from last night sarcastically. you’re unsure as to what he’s talking about, so you think that it’s okay to give him a little bit of attitude.

he raises his brow but doesn’t comment on your sarcasm. instead, he says softly, “no, stupid. it’s because this is the red-light district. it’s unsafe for anyone, especially a pretty, young girl alone at night.”

your first thought is to coo and tease him. you think i’m pretty? it takes you half a second to remember that you two are broken up. you scoff, “i’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“i never said you weren’t,” megumi shoots back. “it would just be annoying explaining to the higher ups why you were fighting people and not curses.”

“i’m sure they’d understand,” you retort, frowning. you cross your arms.

“don’t be so pouty,” he says in that stupid, gentle tone he uses with you when you’re acting bratty.

you both decide to split up. well, it’s more like you demand the two of you to split up. you say it under the pretense that it’ll get the job done faster. besides, you both want to be home before christmas day, right?

there’s about two curses you cross paths with every hour. you’re starting to lose your mind. shouldn’t the streets be infested with them? you don’t even need a veil! all you have to do is give the weak curses just one punch and they vaporize on the spot. your head is running with hundreds of thoughts.

that’s when it hits you: the first years at the tokyo jujutsu school did come out here a week prior! maybe they did a bad job? but you remember nobara had been the one to lead the group. she may half-ass almost everything in her life, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her underclassmen for the sake of her freetime.

so why on earth are you here? it’s not like there are enough harmful curses for a mission to be assigned to you right before christmas, and to you and megumi of all sorcerers. you’re both strong enough to the point of having some kind of importance in the jujutsu world. the higher ups wouldn’t send the two of you on some stupid mission for the sake of it unless they’re planning some sort of secret execution. but even then, satoru gojo should’ve known through their lies to not send you or megumi. unless…he wants you two dead…?

you shake your head and bite your nails. the sun begins to set and you realize that you’ve been out here for longer than you expected. you’re starting to feel a chill in your bones—you had argued petulantly with megumi earlier about not wanting to wear your jacket despite it being the dead of winter; “it’s gonna get in the way!”

you always seem to forget the the sun sets earlier in the winter. it’s stupid how bright all the lights are in shinjuku. there isn’t a square foot of anything that isn’t lit up with neon signs reading out the names of clubs and bars. you see couples and large groups of people walking along the streets.

it’s lonely, you realize. it would’ve been less lonely with megumi.

you make your way to the meeting spot with megumi. you both share a few small words before retiring for the night. megumi says he wants to go sightseeing, even though there’s really nothing much to see. he doesn’t return to the hotel room until late at night.

when he slips into the only bed that the room offers, you chalk it up to the slight alcohol you smell on his lips. it feels so natural that you don’t push him away even though you should. his body is warm and you fit so perfectly against his broad chest that you think it’ll be okay for you to be a little selfish tonight.

“g’night,” megumi mumbles in his sleep.

you smile and nuzzle closer.

it’s december 21st as you realize how late it is in the day. megumi is back on the couch. you feel a tinge of disappointment in the bottom of your stomach.

to no one’s surprise, the sun is barely peeking over the buildings when you’re finally back in the red-light district. you’re doing the last bit of cleanup, but there’s really nothing much for you to clean.

tomorrow, you’ll be heading to a shopping mall, so you suppose you should do your best to sniff out the rest of the curses littering the place unless you want to stay here an extra day. the day is, yet again, slow.

it’s nearing 8 PM and you're finally sure that you’ve gotten rid of all the curses in the general area. you’ve been done for quite a while now, but you just haven’t found the courage to let megumi know that you’re ready to go back to the hotel room. a little sightseeing on your end wouldn’t hurt, right?

“hi, pretty.” a gravelly voice, battered by cigarettes, whispers in your ear.

you jump in surprise. you need to remember not to get too far into your head. you should’ve felt his presence coming from a mile away. it’s a terrible habit and satoru has scolded you for years about it.

“hi,” you mutter, pushing past his larger frame.

the man isn’t as nicely built as the men you know (but then again, your friends are jujutsu sorcerers, so it’s kind of hard to beat that), but he still towers over you. he’s got a squad of rough-looking guys behind him, smirking down at you.

“why’s someone like you alone?” he says, shoving his arm to loop around your waist.

you roll your eyes, getting ready to punch the man square in the nose. will you get in trouble? probably yes. will it be a funny story to tell? also probably yes.

“don’t touch my wife.”

the group of men turn their heads along with you to see megumi. his expression is shrouded with a mixture of anger and frustration. you blink in confusion—megumi usually looks pretty pissed off, but this is the most angry you’ve seen him in a while. and ‘wife’? what’s up with that?

“oh, my bad,” the man chuckles. “didn’t know this pretty thing was married.”

“this ‘pretty thing’ wants you to let her go,” you say with an overly sweet smile. your teeth clench and you hiss, “right now.”

the guy scurries down the sidewalk with his buddies trailing along, making fun of him for hitting on a married woman. nobody mentions the lack of a ring on your finger. nobody mentions the lack of a relationship, either.

“wife?” you scowl. “we’re broken up.”

“guys tend to back up when they know a woman is married. it’s the only way you can really, uh, get them to go away around here.”

you glare at him. “and how would you know? you come here often with girls?”

“...no?” he blinks, unable to comprehend your sudden burst of jealousy. “i sometimes get missions around here, though. pretending to be married was the easiest way—”

“we aren’t, though. we’re not even in a relationship.” you seem to be throwing that into his face a lot more than you should. you can’t help it, though. you still feel a little bitter about not getting a real reason as to why megumi wanted to break up.

“i was trying to help you.” he’s calm and collected, as heard through his voice. he walks up to you and takes your freezing hand into his much warmer ones. “let’s go home.”

“i don’t want to,” you argue.

“stop being a brat,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. “you’re cold and you’ve been out here all day. if i hadn’t stopped those guys, you probably would’ve beat them up pretty badly.”

“i’m not a fucking brat!” you try to retract your hand, but megumi’s grip only tightens.

“baby, stop,” the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease. megumi sighs softly and pulls you to his chest. “why are you so worked up, hm?”

from the way he speaks, you can tell that he already has an inkling. the breakup. cuddling last night. hugging you now. everything.

you don’t realize you’re crying until he gently wipes his thumb under your eye. he has the audacity to have an amused grin plastered on his stupidly pretty lips. your vision is blurry but if it hadn’t been, you would’ve thrown a punch.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “it’s all my fault.”

“it is,” you whimper pathetically. all the tears and the emotions you’ve been holding back bubble up to the surface.

“don’t be upset,” he almost pleads. “let’s go back, okay?”

the night ends with megumi on the couch. neither of you bring up the argument or the fact that he had slept in your bed with you last night. you two don’t talk about the usage of pet names, either.

when you open your eyes on december 22nd, you’re surprised to see that megumi has already headed out for the day. you click your tongue in annoyance—he’s always been good at avoiding his problems when it comes to dealing with them, especially problems involving his emotions. you already know where you’re supposed to be headed, so you suppose that it’s for the best that he’d left before you.

the shopping mall is a long line of vendors and stores among other things. the snow on the ground is fresh—it must’ve snowed late last night after you’d fallen asleep. it crunches underneath your beat-up sneakers with each step you take. you’re not shocked when you end up wandering aimlessly, dipping in and out of stores with no real urgency to finish your mission.

there’s nothing to do anyway.

you’ve killed about 3 curses total and it’s really starting to look like you’ve been sent out here for busy work. you really should’ve figured that out the first day of the mission when you had to practically beg the curses to come out and fight you.

you find yourself in the front of a jewelry store, eyeing a pretty bracelet that you know would look stunning around megumi’s wrist. it’s one of those bracelets that clasp tightly. there’s a thicker band in the center with pretty carvings that seem to resemble some sort of swirly heart. it’s pretty, you have to admit.

without much thought, you buy the gift.

the seller has to clear her throat to get your attention when you don’t answer her question. “um, would you like this to be wrapped?”

you nod absentmindedly. “oh, yes. sorry. please wrap it.”

she nods in return and proceeds to wrap the bracelet in a tiny box, adorning it with a festive bow. you ask her to change it out for a different color, explaining that it isn’t a christmas gift and instead, it’s for someone’s birthday. she offers you a warm smile before switching it with a muted blue ribbon.

you return to the hotel, having to take an expensive taxi. you don’t mind—the bracelet has already made a decent-sized dent in your wallet. why not spend an extra amount on getting home? it’s not like jujutsu sorcerers are paid poorly.

reality hits you when you finally get back to the hotel room. you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. did you really just buy a birthday present for your ex-boyfriend?

you’re thankful that megumi hasn’t arrived yet. he seems to be determined to avoid you for as long as he can. you can’t blame him, either. you did give him quite a hard time yesterday.

you toss the box on to the dresser and head to the bathroom to splash some much needed cold water on to your face. maybe that’ll wake you up enough to clear your mind. you’ve acted out once during this trip already and you’re not really looking forward to any other possible outbursts.

you rinse your face and pat yourself dry with one of the face towels provided to you by the hotel staff. you hang it over the rack again and tiredly make your way to your bed. you halt your movements when you see megumi standing by the dresser, admiring your gift.

he looks up at you in surprise with the smallest grin on his face. it’s so subtle that you would’ve missed it had you not been dating him for nearly two years.

“is this for me?”

“no,” you quickly deny. his face falls and you cough out, “um, i mean.. yeah. i-i didn’t… i… happy birthday.”

he brightens, lips pulling up into a real, genuine smile. “you remembered?”

“why wouldn’t i?” you blurt gently. you bite your inner cheek to stop yourself from saying anything more.

“i dunno.” his voice is distant and low, like he’s trying to hold back his tears. “i just…i didn’t think i was deserving of a gift from you. thank you. i like it.”

you stand awkwardly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “yeah, well…”

“can you help me put it on?” he asks, sitting at the edge of your unmade bed.

you feel your body heat up. part of you screams for you to stop. you shouldn’t do that. it’s far too intimate and you two are broken up. you’ve never been good at making decisions, though, so you sit next to him and feel the mattress dip.

he gives you a grateful look, one that you willfully ignore, and gives you his wrist. you clasp the bracelet on, fingertips just barely grazing his skin. your heart skips a beat and you have to inhale sharply before pulling away.

“thank you,” he whispers.

december 23rd is a sore reminder that life goes on. you had half-expected something to spark between you and megumi. perhaps he’d beg for you back, or maybe with less wishful thinking, he’d give you his real reason as to why he doesn’t want you anymore.

“i don’t think we need to go anymore,” megumi says when you come out of the bathroom after freshening up.

“huh? why not?”

“there’s nothing out there.” megumi’s voice is flat.

“i know, but we’ll get in trouble if we…”

“gojo probably sent us out here for fun.”

your lips part. megumi turns to you with a slight frown.

“don’t you think so too?” he asks, but you know it isn’t a question he’s looking to find an answer to. “why would the higher-ups assign a mission like this to a special grade sorcerer and a grade 1 sorcerer? if they needed that much manpower, this mission would’ve been deadlier. instead, we’re playing cleanup crew.”

“yeah, but..” you trail off, unable to think of a statement to refute his words. “if we go back now, we’ll get chewed out.”

“it’s just a scolding. you’ll be fine.” megumi stands up and stretches his arms.

you watch him cautiously as he begins to fold his clothes and throw them into his duffel bag. he doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence overtake the room.

“...are we leaving, then?” you ask meekly, not bothering to hide the slight quiver in your voice.

he pauses slightly. “do you want to stay here until christmas? this mission is stupid and you know it. there’s no point.”

why is his tone so cold all of the sudden? it’s as if you two hadn’t shared a moment last night before bed. does your gift not mean anything to him now that he’s cleared his mind with a good rest?

your eyes flicker to his wrist. the gold glimmers underneath the light and you realize that megumi doesn’t seem to hate wearing it. so why is he acting so … unpleasant?

you feel a lump in your throat. it’s embarrassing how quickly he’s able to upset you from just the tone of his voice. even his body language, usually fluid and smooth, is rigid with your presence. you want to tell him that you’ve enjoyed your time with him. you want to shake his shoulders and tell him that if you two cut your mission short, you might not get another chance to be near him again.

“do you still care about me?” you whisper instead.

he stills completely. “what?”

“this entire time,” you begin shakily, “you’ve been nice to me. you treat me like you always do. you’re always hovering over me even though you pretend you aren’t! you obviously still care, megumi.”

his adam's apple bobs as swallows. a beat of silence. then two. then three.

“i do care,” he admits sorely.

“then why did you break up with me?” you blurt. there it is, the question you’ve been meaning to ask. you both had seen it coming.

“because…” megumi winces as if he’s the one getting hurt from the ordeal. “because you deserve someone that’s normal. someone that isn’t a sorcerer. i can’t give you that life.”

you feel your chest swarm with anger. why does he always think he needs to sabotage himself to make others happy? this is something you’ve tried working with him on, but it seems like old habits are hard to kill off, just like your habit of loving him.

“why the hell would you decide that for me? when did i ever say i wanted a normal life?” you snap. your hands clench at your sides.

“it’s too early for this,” he says, his voice straining as he finally musters up the strength to look at you in your eyes.

“tell me, megumi. if that’s the real reason, then that is the most pathetic excuse for a breakup i've ever heard.” your voice cracks and you gulp down the oncoming sob that’s threatening to explode from your throat.

he inhales slowly and makes his way to you, holding you close against his chest. you should push him away, but you would rather let him hug you. you know that you can’t fight him, anyway.

“you…once said you wanted a regular relationship. when you got hurt a few weeks ago, i realized i couldn’t be that for you,” he confesses lowly. “i knew that you’d never find it in yourself to leave, so i figured i should just let you go for your sa–”

“are you kidding me?” you shout incredulously. “i said that when i was fifteen, megumi! before i even knew what being in love was like!”

he flinches against you. “but i…”

“you and your damn savior complex! i don’t need to be in a regular, normal relationship! i don’t need any of that, megumi! i’m a sorcerer, I won't ever get to be normal! in fact, it’s even better that i’m with you because you at least know what this life is like, you idiot! you’re always ruining the good things in your life because you—”

he takes his fingers to grab your chin and he pulls you in for a kiss. if the kiss is a ploy to shut you up, you hate to admit that it’s working. his tongue slips into your mouth and you melt against him. your arms loop around his neck as you desperately drag him down closer to your body. his hand grip your waist while the other clings to the small of your back.

you whimper out of instinct and he pulls away, lips bruised and breathless. it’s been so long since you’ve tasted him and you frown, tiptoeing to capture his lips again. you need to savor him, to feel him lips against yours again.

“baby, wait.” his chest heaves as he looks down at you. “don’t…don’t do this to me.”

“do what?” you ask, an edge to your voice. did he just reject you? even after all that?

“w-we gotta report back to—”

“we’re supposed to leave tomorrow,” you interrupt.

the gears shift in his head. “fine, but—”

“i’m still really fucking mad, but i just need you to kiss me right now,” you whine impatiently.

all megumi does is laugh when he swoops down to press his lips against yours.

it’s december 24th when you two find yourselves in satoru’s office. steam is practically rising from your ears as you try to compose yourself in front of your former teacher.

“... i wanted a wedding invitation.” satoru shrugs.

“you set us up!” you whine angrily. “gojo, are you serious?! isn’t this a little immature?”

megumi stays silent, averting his gaze. he suddenly finds the succulents on satoru’s desk very interesting. he’s never noticed that they’re all nearly dead! how cool.

your eyes shoot daggers at megumi's silence.

"we aren't gonna get married any time soon..." megumi mutters when he feels your pointy glare on him.

satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. “you two can’t blame me! it worked out! you two are back together now, right?”

“but did you have to make us look like fools out there?” you groan.

“you should’ve figured it out on the first day that the mission was a sham!” satoru exclaims, offense taking over his features.

“but still!” you’re borderline hysterical at this point, unable to believe that your former teacher of all people had to set up an entire fake mission so that you and your ex could talk your feelings out. “we would’ve figured ourselves out sooner or later!”

megumi nods. he feels like he should at least give you a little support even if he’s embarrassed out of his mind.

“oh really?” satoru’s voice drips with sarcasm. “you guys should be thanking me—”

“you’re so not getting an invitation to our wedding!” you grumble.

“wha—hey! i’m the one that got you two back together! besides, i’m megumi’s guardian! you can’t just not invite me.”

“watch me!”

“megumi, tell her that she can’t do that—hey! where are you guys going? invite me, you rascals—why are you guys leaving? we aren’t done discussing this! megumi, don’t you dare take her side! she isn’t even your wife yet—don’t slam my door!”

[bomber-grl]

Nico Di Angelo fluff alphabet

₊˚⊹ Pairing(s): Nico Di Angelo x Reader (no pronouns/no specific godly parent)

₊˚⊹ Warning(s): cuss words, could be ooc, T*ktok/gen z humor/language

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

He adores everything about you

No,it isn’t some cringe ass thing I’m saying to say

I honestly do believe he likes everything about you

Sure he’s bias on what things

But he loves the way you laugh, smile and even those cringe ass jokes you make.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Honestly I definitely see nicos favorite part of your body being your hands.

He loves his hair being played with and he’s always moving your hand to his head or his head to your lap.

Your lap being his second favorite place because he can rest there whenever.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Nico definitely hates physical touch of any kind

I think we all know that, however you’re the exception.

So going on, he sleeps all over the place

But, he likes when you hold him. Poor boy had been traumatized enough so having his trust and comfort and enough for you to cuddle him is 💯

So it’s pretty comforting to be able to hold him and cuddle whenever.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Honestly broski is glad ur even dating him

He’s an obvious introvert and prefers you and him alone somewhere like in your room or outside having a picnic.

Definitely prefers just the two of you but if you decide to go out he doesn’t say anything in the moment but suggests u don’t ever do that again later on.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Def emotionally stiff and outwardly constipated

Inwardly his emotions are out of control

Ofc that changed eventually but still

He learns to be more expressive and it gets to the point where you’re the only one who understands what he’s feeling/thinking

F= Future (What are their plans for the future? Do they see themselves getting married, having kids?)

He doesn’t rlly have plans of a family or kids or anything

He’d only ever thought of surviving and recently, you

He doesn’t really need anything besides his friends and you, especially you

So don’t expect him to ever bring up kids or anything because u and Hazel are his family so 🤷‍♀️

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He likes giving you stuff but not rlly

He likes pampering you and stuff but rlly he just shoved it in your hands and if u mention it, well just don’t.

Same vice versa except he down rlly know how to react so he’ll look like he’s trying to shit but can’t

Be gentle cuz broski might like ur gifts but can’t express it

It’s ok tho 👍

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Def not into pda

However, he will still hold your hand and partially because he wants to be close and protect you and cuz you’ve been arguing that he’s too cold and needs to warm up

Most likely to hold your hand while you two walk alone or if he holds your hand while he has it in his hoodie pocket

The second one happens mostly during winter

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Horribly

Yea he knows you’re strong and capable but he’s horribly protective

Anyone who hurts you will know his wrath and he’s not afraid to make sure it’s known

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Def becomes a bit of a jokester after you get past his cold demeanor

His humor is so broken and mostly consists of online bs

Definitely includes some dark humor too

I can def see him joking around w u or even playing pranks on each other.

It seems like he’s a completely different person when he’s joking around

Def scares the campers

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Mostly in short but sweet pecks on the lips or cheek

Mostly on the cheek

Doesn’t rlly kiss that often but he likes being kissed

Mostly around his face and stuff but it don’t matter

Kisses change depending on the mood too so sometimes it’s desperate and even a bit heated

Nothing ever rlly comes of it tho

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

He’s always showing you his love and care

Even the most obvious ways, in which he’s hugging you and wanting to be close

And even if it’s most dreadfully annoying, his love language is to scold or even tell u off for scaring the shit out of him when it comes to monsters and stuff.

So yes Nico Di Angelo loves you even tho at times it seems like he doesn’t,if you ever doubt he doesn’t love you he’ll be seriously hurt

M = Melt (What do you do that absolutely makes them melt?)

All the stupid shit you do

Especially for him

Like going out of your way to buy him a bouquet and accompany it with a cringe love letter.

Or even singing him a romance song to “proclaim” your love despite the fact you’ve been together for a good while now

He honestly finds it endearing so don’t ever stop

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

His worst nightmare is losing you

He lost basically everyone in his life and you’re one of the good things left of it

So when he wakes up from a bad nightmare he appreciates you being there and rubbing his back or just hugging him

O = Obvious (How obvious do they make it that they like you?)

Not obvious whatsoever

To you (if you’re really oblivious or the average person)

Let me elaborate

Nico is very obvious if you know the difference between his normal and unnormal behavior/ if you can read him.

Otherwise you don’t got a clue

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Cringe ass ugly ass nicknames

Based off your godly parent and powers and stuff

Def goes along when u call him pookie wookie or anything of the sort

Would be disgusted if u actually meant it

As if he wasn’t calling you his sugar booger just a sec ago

Hypocrite.

Q= Quiet (How are the calm, quiet moments with them?)

Incredible

It’s nice to just lay back and admire the stars or even each other in silence

No matter how cringe he insists it is, it’s still obvious how much he loves it especially when you get to see him smile.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

R= Romance (How romantic are they? What are their go to ways of being romantic?

Kinda see him as a romantic

But like doesn’t know how to be romantic

Yknow?

He definitely reads romance books, listens to romance songs but never saw himself being in a romantic relationship

So he’s rough around the edges but once y’all become comfortable he goes out of his way to show u affection

Kissing your cheek, laying on you, buying you food, etc.

S = safe (What makes them feel safe and comfortable around you?)

Cuz you’re u

You’re his boyfriend/partner and you’d have to be super close to even have this level of relationship

You guys can joke around without it being awkward or forced and that’s what he loves

He feels especially safe when he’s tucked warmly in your arms

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

It took awhile

He was pretty closed off and traumatized so it makes sense

But once y’all got closer you were inseparable so it was worth it

T= Tend ( How do they act when you’re hurt or sick, and vice versa?)

He’s not exactly a healer but he uses his scariness to give u the best treatment

He’s very cold to others during this time and on edge with anything involving you.

Very protective as well

If he’s ever sick or injured the he’d appreciate if you didn’t speak too much or loudly

Don’t coddle him, he hates it

Acting as if he doesn’t smile when u do)

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He’s pretty much like

“Cowabummer” if it’s sum not that major

Like he’ll sympathize but move on

If it’s major he def gives u space and doesn’t say sum bs like “I understand u” or whatever

He listens and asks if u want some feedback, if not then he ain’t saying anything

Eventually gives unsolicited feed cuz he always gotta give offhand comments)

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s proud of you and your guy’s relationship

He won’t exactly show it off per say but he won’t hesitate to be proud of you

He doesn’t rlly show u off but mostly just says stuff like “yea (your name) can do that but like 100x better”

But what he really thought was “(your name) would beat that guy in a sec”

Rlly admires you

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Fighting is kinda sorta and essential to survive as a demigod soooo…

But when it comes to fights he’s obviously protective

Just not too much where it’s annoying

Only if u got hurt or weren’t able to protect yourself

He def fights for you and besides you

If anyone insults him, ok he’s mad

But if anyone insults you, he’s fucking pissed

U better do the same broski)

W = Wash ( What’s it like taking a bath with them, or helping them wash up after a fight?)

Nicos pretty quiet and doesn’t talk after a fight

He’s exhausted and he’s too tired to, he might try to reject your help but with much perseverance you pushed through and finally was able to clean and wash him up

You bandaged him up and fed him some nectar

He was pretty obedient, not putting up a fight for the most part.

Quiet too

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He can read you pretty well

Atleast what you’re thinking overall

Sometimes he overthinks and begins wondering what if…?

Can understand you a decent amount

X = XO ( How do they show you affection? How much PDA are they willing to show?)

Pretty affectionate when he wants to be

Mostly when he’s sleepy and off guard

He’s warmed up to you so that includes occasional physical touch

Mostly with your hands, now he hardly fidgets with his skull ring, mostly fidgeting with your hands or something on you

These little displays of affection go unnoticed by others but not you

In terms of PDA, he hates it

Please don’t ever kiss him in front of anyone, especially Hazel

He doesn’t mind hand holding, and if you were in a life or death situation PDA is off his mind and he’d rather cry and hug and sob w u then not have you near him just cuz he’s unaffectionate in public.

Y = Yearn (What do they do when they miss you?)

Yes.

When he misses you he becomes grumpy and cranky to everyone

He’d probably lay in your bed for comfort or get one of your hoodies and put it on.

Falls asleep and hopes when he wakes up you’ll be there

Even if you’re not ,he hopes he’ll dream of you

Regrets it cuz then he misses you more even in his dreams)

Z=Zzz ( How do they act when they get sleepy? How is it sleeping in the same bed?)

He’s dizzy and a bit delirious

And you both end up cuddling after laughing and talking about random shit at 2 am

He’s kind of a crazy sleeper and has notoriously bad bed head

Cute, but rlly bad

Same when he’s sleepy

He’s so cute and most times he says what’s on his mind instead of filtering it out.

Makes you pay for it when he’s in a clearer state of mind 😔

———————————————————————————

A/N: added two prompts for a couple of letters just cuz I felt like it and don’t hesitate to let me know if there are any spelling mistakes! :)

[redr0sewrites]

Blade x reader General Headcanons (sfw + nsfw)

*gently hands this to you and then scuttles away like a large cockroach* not proofread so yea <\\\3 u can tell i have a blade bias <3

🥀CW: a little angst, blade is Bad At Feelings ™️, reader is sorta assumed to be a stellaron hunter, dom/sub dynamics in the nsfw, switch!blade, knife kink/pain kink, just filth tbh

🥀 minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw!

we all know bladie is RIDICULOUSLY emotionally constipated- if he likes you, he is in COMPLETE AND UTTER DENIAL

he will be staring into ur soul like he hates ur guts but the whole time his heart is pounding out of his chest

he has a very stoic face, it takes a while for u to learn to read him 😭

tbh ud prob think that he hates u for a while cuz he just stares at u

once u both get over the initial awkwardness of him constantly looming over u and hovering around u and staring at u, and once u realized that no, hes not creepy or insane he just wants to be around u, u guys would probably become close friends pretty quickly!

i dont think hes the type to jump into a relationship, his commitment issues get in the way

u would DEF have to be friends first, but he would still be enamoured with u

very observant, he notices all of the little things u do

one of the very first things that tips u off to the fact that he has romantic feelings towards u would probably simply be the fact that he literally cares SO MUCH about ur life and routine

hes memorized ur schedule, how u make ur coffee/tea, what ur favorite movies and shows are, he can tell when ur sad or stressed, he just finds comfort in learning details about u

he prefers to listen in conversation rather than speak, he can listen to u for hours

if u like something or are interested in something, suddenly he is too and he wants to learn all about it

at this point all the other stellaron hunters are rooting for u two to get together

kafka would try to set u both up like all the time

shes never seen blade so devoted to someone

whenever u walk in the room, he always seems to light up a little in excitement

i honestly feel like he would confess first but only for the sake of kafka not telling u before he does💀

it would probably be after an especially tiring or exhausting mission, after the maras been making him feel shitty

blade always feels so safe around u and he would just suddenly blurt out the fact that hes in love with u

after the initial shock, when u tell him the feelings are reciprocated hes ECSTATIC

but wont show it

he'll just let out a small (but cute): smile and nod

kafka, sam, and silverwolf are in the background recording the whole thing 💀

hes awkward at first

SUCKS AT PHYSICAL CONTACT TBH

blade's love language is def acts of service

he loves doing things for you and he loves helping u, it makes him proud to know that he can help make u feel safe

will fucking destroy anyone who hurts u

like actually destroy

nobody had ever seen blade so angry or ruthless as the day u were hurt on a mission

afterwords hes cradling u in his arms, clinging to u like ur gonna disappear😭

he knows how fleeting mortal lives are and hes genuinely so afraid of losing u

hes not good at talking things out or expressing his feelings

hes also not great at apologizing but he will try for u and only for u

arguments with him kinda suck cuz he can be stubborn and doesn't understand emotions

blade would feel terrible afterwards tho

would probably sit next to u and just take ur hands in a silent apology and gently run his thumb in a soft circle on ur palm

he likes it when u wear his clothes, he can be possessive and seeing u in his (probably much larger) clothes makes him a little feral

overall, u guys have ur ups and downs, but are ultimately a power couple and he loves u sm what can i do to find me a blade smh

nsfw!

SWITCH ENERGY‼️

when hes dom, hes MEAN

blade can talk so filthy sometimes, his voice is so deep and rough and when hes got you folded in half, ruthlessly pounding into u theres nothing u love to hear more than his scornful voice switching from degradation to praise <3

into marking on both ends, he loves seeing u covered in hickeys and scratches but also enjoys being littered in stinging marks for him to admire later

i feel like blade would like positions where he can be close to u when hes dominant, such as mating press or missionary

SIZE KINK! if ur smaller thank him, he love love LOVES to use his larger stature and weight to pin u down

seeing u squirm and writhe helplessly beneath him turns him on

will pin ur wrists above ur head, leaning down to whisper the filthiest words in ur ear, the entire time his cock is thrusting so fast in and out of ur leaking hole, ur mind is melting to mush at the stimulation. on top of that, his free hand is roughly playing with ur cock/clit, while he nips and bites roughly at ur neck. its all so much, too much...

rahh i went off there for a sec

anyways <3

blade wouldn't understand the hype to exhibitionism until the both of u got together

the two of u r fucking in a storage closet while people outside r just continuing their everyday lives, his hand clamped roughly over ur mouth to silence u, but that doesnt stop his own breathy moans and growls from slipping through

i also think blade would have a knife kink, hed find sick, twisted pleasure in running a knife over ur soft skin as u squirm

hed never actually hurt u, he could never do that

u both def have a safeword

but the idea is still arousing

he isnt as vocal when dom when hes sub, when hes dom its more low growls and groans and moans while when hes sub its more moaning and whimpers and whines

when hes sub, hes so into pain

if u pull his hair, this man will immediately submit

HE HAS AN ORAL FIXATION IF U HAVE A COCK HE WOULD ADORE TO SPEND EVERY WAKING HOUR SUCKING ON IT. if ur exhausted and want to keep blade occupied (cuz his stamjna is INSANE), give him two of ur fingers to suck on<3

he just looks so pretty with ur fingers in his mouth, a small trickle of drool leaking past his parted lips as he stares up at u in utter adoration with lust filled eyes

blade is SO LOUD when u fuck him from behind, he doesnt know why he just finds it so hot

he also has a reverse size kink, someone as small as u taking control of him and using him for ur own pleasure is such a turn on

he has such insane stamina, he could have u fucking him for literal hours and still want more

esp when hes sub, there needs to be a lot of foreplay leading up to the actual sex or else he will be needy for like ever

is actually so touch starved its funny, when the two of u had ur first time where he was sub he came in under a minute

he was super embarrassed, even tho u found it super hot

blade can be a tease if he wants to be, sending u photos of him naked with his hand wrapped around his aching cock, eyes blown wide with lust<3

he thinks punishments are hot, but prefers to be praised and pampered

call him a good boy, he will MELT

he wants to be good for u so much, he needs u to get himself off its almost pathetic :( he cant cum without u there helping him, whenever hes needy and ur not around he always ends up in a puddle of his own arousal, his release slipping away as soon as it begins to build. his cock is aching, he needs u, he cant even get off alone

after sex is when hes most vulnerable, blade is very kinky and mellow after sex esp when he was sub

big on aftercare, deep down he wants to be taken care of and held

he also loves taking care of u, loves washing u as u bathe together after a rough night of lovemaking

he loves it when u mark his chest cuz he can show it off the next day

blade wants everyone to know ur his, and vice versa

THIS GOT SO LONG WTF???

BARK BARK BARK can u tell i have such a big fat stupid fucking blade bias hes so silly i love this goofy man sm i need to pepper him with kisses and then fuck him senseless 😔

[ventismacchiato]

42 behind the lens — curtain call !

epilogue

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.

His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.

For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.

There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.

You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.

“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.

Your heart skips a beat, even years later.

“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.

“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.

It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.

It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.

His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.

But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.

And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.

“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”

“Archons, you’re worse than me.”

“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”

“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”

“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”

“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”

“Go!”

.

.

.

୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev

author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]

[yippeeometer]

The Northeast states watching out for each other, but they're subtle about it. Like dropping off a cup of coffee, but if someone comments on it, they'll brush it off like it's no big deal

oh no its much worse.

the northeast but they're trying to be subtle and desperately failing bc they're all as dense and emotionally constipated as the other.

cut drops off coffee for york. york immediately assumes he's laced it with poison bc they are peak sibling core. they argue intensely, during which cut insists if he needed to kill york he would be MUCH more physical and he has not poisoned the coffee (he had laced it with sleeping pills bc 'the city that never sleeps' turns out not to be an exaggeration.

cut spends the next few hours complaining to new hammy about it. hammy's eye twitches the whole time as he recollects last week, when he did the exact same thing to cut and they had the exact same argument. ur honour they're not beating the 'exact same person in different shirts' allegations.

in fact, many of them can recite, word for word, the exact schpiel jersey goes through every time someone asks for ingredients from his garden. oh my god i hate you get a job why are you always mooching off me. what the fuck do you mean you'll go to a grocery you're taking things from my garden. ill bring them over myself. idiot.

there's just a silent agreement that there's no alcohol allowed at parties anymore bc after Pa's like 9th attempt at sobriety they all had a big think ab where the problems were stemming from and that was the best thing they could think up.

because i am a heavy believer in jewish ne supremacy there is a wonderful period between rosh hashannah and yom kippur when they're all putting in the best effort to be nice to each other which immediately dissolves the second they have to try and decide who gets to use the shofar. they may not be able to physically fight today, but trust the grudge will be remembered.

the level of PTSD and just general issues within that group must be so intense but because they are emotionally represed. they just. arent allowed to talk about it. someone could be having a full breakdown but u r a member of the northeast and you should just let ur heart break inside and never ever talk about it because it would be Awful and Wrong

however. what u can do. is watch sport together in silence. maybe you'll even say 'good game' at the end by be careful of that one because its basically a confession of ur endless fraternal support, wouldn't want to get too deep would we.

and ur only allowed to talk about ur problems through jokes. haha yeah i still see faces of war in my sleep. haha yeah i cant cope w the guilt anymore. hehe.

so to answer your ultimate question, the most pain you can experience is not even your own, but that of ur brother when he drowns and you are not allowed to save him. but anyway.

[girlboypersonthingy]

Omg if you want can you write the fluff alphabet for Keith pls??? 💜

FUCK YEAH I LOVE ME SOME SOFT KEEF ❤️‍🔥 Thanks again for the rq anon 😘 Got the fluff template from @the-coldest-goodbye cuz I’m lazy 🙃

Keith- Fluff Alphabet 💌

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Okay, in public or in front of like literally anyone, he’s not super affectionate. He’s still nice to you and will occasionally reach for your hand in front of other voltron members. He just doesn’t like PDA very much. He doesn’t like the attention it draws to him. Behind closed doors tho…omg this boy is like so clingy. He just wants to hold you for the rest of his life, you’re so nice to hold. He likes to show affection physically rather than emotionally. He’s kinda dumb when it comes to this romance relationship stuff, he has a hard time explaining his feelings so he’d rather show you how much he loves you with hugs and kisses and cuddles and gentle touches.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You guys had to have clicked right away when you met. I’m sure Keith is difficult to befriend let alone date so he probably really enjoyed your company and support as a friend to keep you around. He probably felt really safe and at ease with you, like he could be his true authentic self around you. You guys really lean on each other. And because he feels so himself around you, you fall for the purest version of Keith, the real Keith. And he falls for your loyalty and kindness and faith in him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

KEEF LOVES CUDDLES WITH U OMG. Like I said, he’s emotionally constipated and has a hard time voicing his love for you so he shows it instead and due to your busy schedules, you only get alone time at night before bed and early in the morning if you’re both up before your alarm. So every night before you both doze off and every morning about an hour before your alarm goes off, he’s stuck to you like a koala on a tree branch. It’s the best couple hours of his entire day, everyday. He will cuddle you in any way he can. He’ll be the big spoon or the little spoon, he’ll hold you while you’re facing each other, if he’s in a good deep sleep he’ll lay his head on your chest or stomach with an arm slung over you as he snores. He just wants to be touching you. He needs the physical contact.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Yes and no. Keith definitely wants this war to be over and he wants to go home and have a normal life with you but he’s also never going to give up on helping his friends protect the universe. If he had to, he’d stay in space forever just to protect all of it. But he does occasionally daydream about you and him living together somewhere in the desert or the country maybe where there’s not a lot of people and it’s quiet. Keith is a mess in the kitchen, please keep him away from the stove. He can help you cut stuff up or make the salad but other than that, he’ll burn everything and anything you ask him to cook. Cleaning on the other hand, he can do that. Just imagine this…Keith wearing old scrappy clothes with his hair pulled back by a headband or bandana and he’s deep cleaning your whole apartment/house with those big yellow dish gloves on. Omg hes ur housewife. Sure he can be messy and disorganized at times too but he’ll roll up his sleeves and deep clean when it’s obvious it needs to be done. Just plz cook for him and he’ll clean for you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If Keith had to break up with you, I seriously feel like he would still want to be your friend. As much as Keith blows up and loses his temper, the break up would be soft and slow and gently. He wouldn’t want to lose you completely so he’d ask you to be his friend still. So things didn’t work romantically…it’s fine, just don’t leave him behind. He still has love for you. He’ll always care about you.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Keith ain’t the marriage type. He’s just one of those people who thinks marriage is stupid and pointless and too expensive and dramatic. He doesn’t need a big fancy ceremony or a piece of signed paper to prove his love for you. Screw it. He’s gonna call you his wife/husband/partner/spouse no matter what anyone else says. If you really want to get properly married tho, he’d agree and go along with it to make you happy. But he’d be in charge of the guest list…which will only have like 10 people on it bc he also doesn’t like crowds or big parties.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically, he’s so gentle with you. He’s always worried he’s gonna hurt you or make you uncomfortable. He holds you so tenderly, he kisses you so lightly. Keith spends most days fighting off training bots, sparring with Shiro and often engaging in battle with an actual enemy. When it comes to you, he treats you like a one-of-a-kind piece of stained glass. You’re the one person he’s soft with. Emotionally…he’s stubborn and short tempered and easily overwhelmed. He’ll snap at you every now and then, he can’t help it. He’s never mad or annoyed with you, it just comes out in his voice and his gestures are harsh as he speaks to you. He tries very hard to be patient and understanding with you. He’s really trying. Give him a break plz.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Keith loves your hugs, it’s one of the most comforting things you can offer him. He likes to hug you a lot, he’ll just randomly hug you throughout your day. But when he’s upset or frustrated or feeling stressed and scared, he’ll hug you really tight and for a while. He’ll just hold you close, arms wrapped fully around your torso as he hides his face in your neck or shoulder. Hugs make him feel so much better, they remind him that he is real and has feelings and that someone cares about him.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I think Keith would wait a while to actually say it to your face. He would be really nervous and wouldn’t want to rush things or make you feel like you have to say it back. In the meantime, he often slips the phrase to you sneakily and without grabbing your attention first. He’ll mumble it to himself after you finish a good round of training with him and he’s glowing with pride at how amazing you are. He’ll whisper it softly when you fall asleep next to him. He’ll mouth the words as he hugs you tightly, imagining how the words would sound if you said them back to him right now. He just needs time…

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Keith gets extremely jealous but not all the time. He sees you talking to some cool alien or even joking around with Lance, he’s whatever about it. He trusts you so he’s not worried. Now if another galra tried to approach you, oh boy is there gonna be a fight. It’s just a galra thing, he feels that they are more of a threat bc he is also part galra. One time, another member of the blade was standing just a little too close to you and Keith didn’t know what he was saying to you but he just had a bad feeling about it. But he wasn’t trying to flirt with you at all, he was actually asking about Keith and how long you’ve know him, just small talk. Keith stomped over and straight up pushed you behind him, glaring at his teammate in front of him. You had to explain that it was all innocent chit chat and calm him down. Yeah, he’s dramatic asf when he wants to be. He’ll kill a bitch for you, no hesitation.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Kisses with Keith are always soft and slow and lingering. He doesn’t move at a fast pace, even when making out. He takes his time and enjoys it and cherishes the moment. He’s also not sure exactly how to kiss so he goes slow and follows your lead. It’s not often that you two kiss, only in the privacy of your room when you both know you won’t be interrupted or occasionally you’ll share a lingering gentle kiss in the hangar in front of the team after a long and scary mission. Keith loves kissing your lips, he likes that he can feel you kiss him back. He’ll kiss your cheeks and forehead sometimes but he craves the feeling of your lips returning the gesture, ya know? He really likes when you kiss pretty much anywhere that’s not his face. Kiss that boy on the shoulder, neck, back, hands or arms and he’s a flustered mess. Not that he minds face kisses from you tho.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s so awkward omfg. He is kind of on the fence about kids. He likes them but he’s unsure how to act around them. He mostly just listens to kids ramble about stuff and he smiles and nods along and offers the occasional “oh really? Wow. That’s crazy.” He would like a kid of his own one day but not anytime soon. He needs time to learn and mature before he has his own kid.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Pretty much every morning with Keith is spent the same way…he’ll wake up earlier than the alarm is set just to cuddle and love on you before you have to go about your busy day. This (and at night before you guys fall asleep) is the only time you two can really spend quality time together. Fighting in an intergalactic war leaves very little time for you two to hang out and bond. So he loves sleepy, early mornings with you where neither of you talk, you just hold each other and place soft kisses on each others face.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights go pretty much the same way as mornings. The first hour that you two are awake and the last hour or so before you two fall asleep is spent in silence while you just hold each other close and cherish the moment. You don’t get much time to be clingy and romantic so bed time is the best time. He’ll plop into bed with you and wrap you in his arms as you’re both dozing off.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Keith would take some time to fully open up to you. I’m sure he probably took a while to open up to Shiro too. He’s just a closed off, secretive kind of person. He doesn’t want his business on display for everyone to know. As friends, he probably told you about his home life and his dad but it wasn’t until you two had been dating for a while that he finally let down his walls and told you all of the things that weigh on him. He trusts you with his life now.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

👀 boy has a very short temper and gets very easily annoyed and over stimulated. He’s definitely snapped at you before and he will most likely snap at you again. He’s always quick to apologize and try to explain himself. He just loses it sometimes, there’s a lot going on and he has a hard time coping. He’ll bottle everything up and stay quiet until it all boils over and explodes out of him. He snaps at pretty much anyone and everyone, don’t take it personally. He’s even yelled at Shiro before. He’s working on it tho…he swears.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Both??? He’ll definitely forget things every now and then, sorry he’s got so many thoughts in his head at one time, sometimes the things you tell him go in one ear and out the other. BUT he does remember a lot about you too. He’ll never forget the gorgeous color of your eyes and your favorite food and your favorite color. He’ll remember many cute moments throughout your relationship but also if you mention that one time that one thing happened, he’ll be like “I did? Oh…okay if you say so.” He might forget an anniversary or your birthday too, don’t be mad. He’s really sorry…just remind him and he’ll make it up to you, pinky promise.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Keith’s favorite moment in your whole relationship is when you first kissed him. It wasn’t on the lips, you had kissed him on the cheek when he was frustrated with not being able to beat a certain level on the training simulator. He was just having a moment, shouting out in anger as he flopped down on the floor. As he tried to catch his breath, you approached him without saying a word and sat in front of him with a sweet smile. He watched you for a second before you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek then followed it with the words “Don’t give up. Keep trying…I believe in you, Keith.” He’s pretty sure that’s the moment he knew he really loved you and he also knew that you really loved him back. He felt so stupid and ugly in that moment of weakness and anger but you showed him unconditional love anyways. He’ll never forget that.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Keith is very protective of you, especially when you are out in the middle of battle with the team. He often insists that you and him stick together regardless of what Shiro or Allura have to say. He’ll protect you by keeping a close eye on you and having your back when you need him. You do pretty much the same for him. You watch out for each other always.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

As far as dates, anniversaries and gifts, Keith’s terrible. He’s never been in a relationship before so he has no idea what to do. If you give him ideas and share what you are planning to do for him, he’ll take mental notes and learn from you and then he’ll try his best those things. With everyday tasks tho, Keith is the sweetest and most attentive partner ever. He asks you how you slept every morning, he’ll ask you if you’ve eaten yet today, if he hasn’t seen you around all day he’ll go searching for you just to check up on ya. He’ll bring you water in the training room if he’s not already there with you, he’ll kiss you every morning and every night, he’ll play with your hair and gently scratch your back when you’re stressed or upset, he’ll listen intently when you need to rant or when you’re excitedly explaining something you like to him. He’s a great bf, he’s so involved with you. Such a sweet pea ❤️‍🔥

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Keith loves to shut himself off from you, especially when you’re having a bad day yourself. He feels like a burden sometimes, like he’s damaged goods that you never asked for. He knows he can trust you and confide in you but he worries that he’ll only make you more overwhelmed and stressed if he tells you how he’s feeling. Most of his bad days are spent avoiding you in hopes of not burdening you with his moody attitude. You always end up finding him and convincing him to open up to you. Once he gets it all off his chest tho, he feels soooo relieved. He just doesn’t want you to ever feel like his feelings matter more than yours.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

NOT AT ALL. He doesn’t give a fuck, especially with you. I mean…you guys are already dating and he’s never been super into his appearance so ??? why would he start worrying about it now? He has other things to worry about. He’s clean and well kept so …what now?

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yesssss, he’s a wreck when he’s away from you for too long. It’s one things to be away from you all day, but when missions are going on for days or weeks at a time with the blade of marmora, he gets so depressed and also so much more irritated. You’re the light of his life so when he can’t see you for several days in a row, he starts to unravel. You just bring him so much peace of mind, without you he doesn’t know how to cope with his emotions. He has no one else to talk to…💔

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

HE SLEEPS SO FUCKIN GOOD WITH YOU IN HIS BED NEXT TO HIM!!! You’ve walked in on him sleeping before and he’s pretty quiet, but whenever you sleep beside him, bro snores like a bear as he clings to you. Sometimes he wakes you with his loud ass snores and his aggressive snuggling but he’s having the best sleep of his entire life rn, you can’t bring yourself to wake him. One time, you gently nudged him awake and whispered “You’re snoring so loud. Turn on your side.” And he straight up went “Huh? Oh…okay.” then fell right back into his loud snoring a second later. Sorry but you kind of signed up for this.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

The only turn off for Keith is a liar. If he can’t trust his partner, he doesn’t even want to be with them. He wants you to be able to tell him anything and he wants to be able to trust you with everything. Just don’t ever lie to him and there’s nothing that can tear you two apart.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Not only does this mf snore loud as hell and suffocate you with his cuddles but he also drools sometimes. One time he drooled on your face and the grossed out scream that came from you startled him awake. He apologized profusely but you just had to tell the rest of the team about it the next morning. He’s never gonna live this down, it’s just too funny.

[qbebou]

ok not to be like he’s just like me fr…. but chayanne is just like me fr…..

i’m also the oldest child with one younger sibling who needed a lot more care when we were kids and therefore was deprived of certain needs in favor of my brother. i also had a parent that was missing a lot and depended almost solely on my dad. obviously tallulah needs more help than chay, with her asthma and lesser fighting skills, not to mention she had only been playing minecraft for like a month? or two before wilbur found her. and chay knows that! he knows that she needs more help than he does he knows he’ll do anything for her he knows he has to be the strongest to protect her. my brother and i are only a year apart but i was forced to grow up very very quickly bc i was on my own a lot as a kid while my brother was sick. phil doesn’t worry abt chay when he runs off bc he doesn’t need to, chay can take care of himself. hell, he took care of all the eggs when they first left. but at the same time, it’s comforting to know ur parent is looking out for u even when u don’t need it. phil’s not a smothering parent, he’s attentive, but not smothering. but let’s be real he can also be emotionally constipated LMAO but that leads to situations like the argument and frustration between chay and tallulah when dapper was kidnapped. in his defense, he’s never been a parent before and had 2 children thrust upon him to raise on his own. he didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to parenthood like ppl in real life do, he suddenly had 2 children who had their own thoughts and opinions and emotional needs, he didn’t get the time it takes to LEARN abt how to provide that specific care and while some ppl have that innate knowledge there is a lot of learning and navigating when it comes to emotional vulnerability and regulation esp when it comes to children who are figuring it out as well. i feel for chay when he thinks he needs to be the strongest. i feel for chay when he had to make the decision to gather the eggs and leave. i feel for chay when he had to take blame for bad things happening. and i feel for chay when he realized tallulah doesn’t need him as much anymore. my brother and i are both adults now and we had a …… tumultuous relationship as teenagers for reasons that were both our own and caused by problems outside our control. but i still remember exactly how devastating it was the moment i realized that he was fine on his own. that he didn’t need me anymore. and it caused a rift between us; on my end bc i was frustrated and felt tossed aside and on his end bc he NEEDED to be independent to keep growing. i see so much of myself in chay and i desperately wish he and tallulah had a better mediator for their argument, or at least someone who could truly understand why they were so upset. i don’t think phil clocked that tallulah was so upset and adamant abt looking for dapper bc it was just her dapper and ramon surviving on their own. just bc phil didn’t witness it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a much tighter relationship than they had before purgatory. and when chayanne said everyone was blaming him for the decisions he made phil was quick to tell him that no one was blaming him but also phil doesn’t know that! he doesn’t know if any blame was put on chayanne when it was just the eggs together. chayanne made the decision for the eggs to run and they trusted him bc he’s the oldest and he’s strong and he can be a leader but by running he also put the eggs thru a lot of pain and fear that they may not have gone thru if they stayed with their parents. and even if the eggs didn’t explicitly say that they blamed chayanne im sure he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong. we’ve already seen him open up a tiny bit abt how he was questioning his decision to leave. but phil told him that chay made the best decision he could have given the information he had at the time which is true! but when ur the oldest and everyone is looking to u, all of the responsibility lies on ur shoulders. chayanne has been carrying SO much weight on his shoulders for so long it breaks my heart.

[barbatos-sama]

i think what annoys me abt cheater lady is that there's a dialogue where you can tell her cheating is bad and sucks she has a line that's basically like "you just don't know how the world works yet and you'll understand when ur older bby" which is like. for starters weird because ur character is an adult who can date the other adult townspeople so it's weird to say that like im a naive kid or something who doesn't know that cheating is good or whatever. they want her to be like the sexy ~ara ara~ mature woman character so i guess that's why she says that but blegh. but like nah actually i Wont suddenly realize how cheating is an understandable thing adults do sorry lady. maybe once i get more hearts with her she'll tell me why she cheated but i doubt i'll have any sympathy for her?? hassiian isn't a bad guy he's quite sweet i cannot picture him being bad to her, honestly the only thing i can picture her saying is like "ugh he was so boringggggg" or something. he's a little emotionally constipated but i can tell he's trying his best. how could u break my bby's heart

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

Katsuki having his first fight with his s/o :(

We all know he just gets so unbelievably angry all the time that when something hurts it only comes out as anger instead

so he’s screaming, not necessarily at them but still screaming, and he doesn’t know how to get his point across because his chest is tight and his voice is shaky so he yells because he doesn’t know how to tell them how he feels

and they suggest leaving it off for the night because they already gave up on trying to talk and he mistakes it for them giving up on him

he knows he’s hard to love and it hurts him so fucking bad

while I search for the way to your world, leave a mark on your way.

a/n : YOU. NEED TO BURN AT THE STAKE--i mean tysm for the ask mootie !!! youre. so. sweet. but no all jokes aside i think about this like all the time are u sure ur not in my brain, i switched things up juuuust a lil bit bc i actually had a daydream about this lololol, i hope you don't mind <3 much luv !! ps yall this is @lunarfleur’s fault not mine blame them

fem reader, first bad argument, emotionally constipated desperate katsuki i love him anyways, gentle reader, hurt/comfort, kinda making up towards the end, clingy katsu, kissing, mentions of wanting to vomit !! not proofread atm but will fix later ! lmk if i missed sum else !

katsuki cannot for the life of him remember what you'd even started arguing about. all he knows is that he's pissed off. what he doesn't know is why.

katsuki hates how quickly he gets emotional. it makes him so mad, it makes his skin burn. he hates how he feels the burn of tears in the back of his eyes the moment his chest feels tighter and he knows what's coming. so he closes himself off from you. he hates how fucking shaky his voice gets when you pull yourself away from where you were cuddled up just moments ago, so he just starts speaking louder. until he's screaming and his throat is sore and burning.

he doesn't know why he's screaming at you, he doesn't want to. but he's so mad, at you and at himself and he has no other way to say so except for this. it makes his skin burn and itch and his head is throbbing and his heart hammers in his ears. all he knows is that he doesn’t want to fight with you because you’re not like him. you’re not used to just amping up the heat, to continue arguing until the other submits and you come out victorious.

instead, you sigh. you’re frustrated but you don’t scream. you’re quiet, and it makes katsuki that much more angry. he tells himself it’s because you act like he’s a child having a tantrum with the way you grip your temples, just so he can stay mad longer. but he knows you’re just tired. your head hurts and your tired of fighting, maybe even tired of him. and that scared him so much.

so he gets louder, gets in your face more. when he’s scared, katsuki gets real mean because he hopes he can scare you harder. but he knows it’s not a competition, you’re not trying to be scarier than him, you were never even trying to scare him but all he did was cut you off, scream at you and scoff at your words.

no wonder you’re tired of him, a little voice in his head nags. his limbs are on fire.

but then your shoulders slump, you sigh dejectedly and you tell him you can’t do this. and it feels like a bucket of water’s been dumped onto him.

you’re saying something, he can see it. but he’s frozen. he can’t move as he watches you wait for something, for him to say something, to act maybe ? but he doesn’t know. what did you mean just now ?

you sigh again, he hates it. he hates it so much. he hates that it comes from you. then he registers you’re putting your shoes on. and he swears he hears you sniffling as you reach past him for your keys and grab your jacket by the door.

oh. you’re leaving.

you can’t do this. you can’t stand being with him anymore and he made you leave. he should be happy, you were being annoying..but fuck he doesn’t want you to go. work had been stressful lately and he couldn’t wait to spend time with you again. so why are you leaving ?

why’d he make you leave ?

you can’t do this, that’s what you told him. katsuki feels like he’s gonna vomit.

when he feels cornered, it’s practically instinct for katsuki to bare his fangs at whatever is keeping him there. he doesn’t feel scared, that shit wasn’t for him. but he’s scared now, so scared that you’ll leave and that you won’t call him when you make it home. so scared that you’ll leave and never come back and he has to live with the fact that he’d pushed the most important person in his life away.

he’s desperate, so he does the only thing he knows. and he begs in his own way.

you can’t even twist the doorknob because the large hands that slam against the door don’t let you. you feel katsuki before you see him. can feel the warmth radiating from him on your back and you see your shadow grow bigger through your misty eyes. you feel him press himself harder against you like he’s trying to trap you between the door and him. you feel his hair tickle your nape and you feel his lips tickle your neck as he presses them there, and you feel like crying.

“katsuki..” you sigh, feeling him kiss all over your skin, your neck, behind your ear, your cheek. desperately like he’s on a mission. “katsuki..no.” you whine, craning your neck away from him and he stops then, when he has nothing to reach, when you’re unreachable. he wraps his arms around your middle to keep you to him, to keep you here.

“what..?” he asks, you scoff. looking up at the ceiling to keep from tearing up in front of him, katsuki feels his heart shatter as he looks at you desperately. do you hate him ? why won’t you just let him make it better ?

“i don’t—what are you doing..?” you whisper sadly, his heart pounds. you lean away from hims as much as you can with his arms still around you. he doesn’t tighten his hold, but he doesn’t let go. he can’t risk hurting you.

“i—i’m..” he stutters, searching around on your crumpled up face for anything. he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. his eyes drift around “i’m just—trynna make it up to you..”

“how..?” you ask, and when he keeps looking confused you rephrase “do you even know what you’re making it up to me for ?”

wordlessly, he pulls you closer to him despite you struggling a bit. he noses at your neck, hiding his eyes from you as he speaks again “‘cus i made you sad..” he admits slowly, that’s reason enough for him.

you sigh again then, and katsuki has to use all his strength not to flinch at it. “i don’t like it when you yell at me. and you don’t listen to me at all, that’s what i’m upset about.” you slump over in his arms, like you’ve given up. “i wish you’d get that..” you finish bitterly.

he gets it, he wants to say. he understands now, he’ll listen to you, he swears. but he knows it won’t be that easy. katsuki has no experience with things like this. with relationships and communication to resolve disputes. he wants to know, to learn. for you. but he fears he’s too late and he’s afraid. he hadn’t even realized he was doing the total opposite of what you wanted from him.

“okay, okay. i’ll listen just—” he grits out. he wants to give you space because he knows that’s probably what you want. you want to leave, but he can’t let you. so he shoves his head in your neck selfishly “don’t leave.”

the way he sounds is almost painful, like he’s forcing the words out despite them causing him pain just for you. you don’t want this, you hate arguing with katsuki no matter how petty it is. but it’s never been this bad. it’s not like you find it fun, but you wish he’d just bother listening to others, to you. it might sound like he’s just trying to appease you so he doesn’t have to stay alone, but when he’s like this and in general, to you katsuki is extremely easy to read. and you know he knows he’s gone too far. and you don’t want to leave, ‘cus he’s so warm. but you think maybe he’s a bit overwhelmed and needs some space. he’d been a bit antsy because of demanding hero work lately and you know he hates admitting any type of weakness, so he’d tried to push it away.

of course, it’s no excuse. and katsuki has a hard time admitting when he’s wrong, but you think he’s starting to understand it slowly.

you sigh, his hands feel warm where he’d loosely settled them above your stomach. you squirm a bit in his hold and he lets you, only because you decide to turn to look at him. you hadn’t even realized he’d been so upset, his eyes glossy and a bit red. tentatively, you place a hand on his shoulder and he softens that much more. slowly you reach your other hand up to his face and it hasn’t even made contact for him to lean into it like a magnet. it makes your heart break.

“i think..it’s better if i do..” he flinches, but you rub against his cheek and continue “because i think you need to be left alone for a bit.” he hides his face in your hand. pulling your other one off his shoulder and to his face. you can feel his lip tremble even as he bites hard into it and feel the tips of his eyebrows twitch. “i think you’re tired..right ?” you say softly. he lifts his head up to deny, but his mouth hangs open. katsuki hates having to talk about how he feels more than anything in the world, but if that’s what it takes for you to still love him, he’ll swallow his pride. and he’ll beg in his own way.

he begs you to stay with him by closing his mouth and nodding lightly, sighing harshly as he looks off to the side, grip still on your wrists. his nose nuzzles against your palms. fuck, he could fall asleep like this. maybe he is more tired than he’d realized.

“yeah..” you smile lightly, “so i think it’s better if i go for a while, leave you to think, okay ?” you’re happy he’s sucking up his pride and actually listening to you talk, not raising his voice and actually listening to you. he wordlessly nods to your every word, head bobbling as he agrees to everything, it has you holding back a giggle but not your fond little smile as he presses little kisses into your palms.

he raises his head a bit to hold eye contact “..you mad at me ?” you hesitate before responding.

“i’m still upset, you were being really mean katsuki.” you correct. it hurts, but he nods again, understanding. your heart feels just a little bit lighter.

“‘m leaving now, suki..” and he sighs heavily but he thinks he feels just a bit at ease. his heart feels just a bit lighter when you tell him “i’ll text you when i get home, kay ?”

he wants to ask you to call him instead, he wants to hear your voice but he knows he’s supposed to listen now, listen to what you want. and he nods again. you lean forward just a bit and it’s like he can smell what you want because he meets you halfway, pulling your arms around his middle and pressing his lips to yours so softly, so loving. so not like him, he thinks. but he’ll try for you, he’ll listen.

“i love you.” he whispers when you pull away, you think you could cry just from that. “i love you too.” you sniffle. it doesn’t feel like goodbye, and that makes both of you feel just a tad better.

you pull away and he doesn’t chase after you. he’s still a bit scared, but he doesn’t fight back, and let’s you go. you flash him a shy little smile when you turn to leave and he sends you one back. he stands in his door way when he hears the door clack shut and he stands there some more after you’re gone.

worry gnaws at him as he goes to make himself dinner. it gnaws at him when he’s in the shower and still when he’s going off to bed. but just before he goes to lay down and get some much needed rest, you text him. like you said you would, and katsuki feels he can sleep with a lighter heart.

he’ll rest up. and as his eyes slowly fall shut he swears he’ll make it up to you and never make you want to leave again.

[shi-kiori]

Note 11: Outbursts

Today, i've realized that neglect is a powerful friend yet enemy.

I feel like growing up, i had to get used to the fact that a lot of people surrounding me were emotionally unavailable or constipated in sharing affection and in expressing feelings. someone always had to do a grand outburst and suddenly it would be like that never happened. now that im older, im realizing that its those things that chain u in the neck as u mature.

my brother broke down today because of a break up in a serious relationship. it kind of rattled everyone at home. i couldnt even process what just happened only that i felt like i had to be there for him. but its the aftermath that i couldnt comprehend beyond me. i called my parents shortly after that to share and it didnt even feel like anything new at the fact that they were so quick to dismiss it and move on; that we couldn't do anything about it. and while it does hold truth to it, its that sweet, deceiving taste of neglect that lingers in my mouth as im typing this. im at a loss, i dont know how to make of what im feeling inside.

im angry, but i understand. im disappointed yet i understand. i feel like i want to help though i understand why i shouldnt.

i wanted to get so angry at my mom then and there because this is the exact reason why people like my brother break down so grandly. people at home dont know how to express feelings that are too intense, too sad, too angry. everyones so quick to dismiss and say its not a big deal. and this is the type of home ive grown up to. we can lie to each other and say that we are emotionally in-tune with each other but the simple truth is that we arent.

im....i want to say im frustrated but i cant even bring myself to be because its just happened so many times that it feels better to emotionally numb myself to people like my parents. theyre never gonna change the way they are and im not asking them to anyways. its just a weird pill to swallow when it happens to people like my brother who cries the way like the day he was born. it feels like all the air is punched out of ur lungs and u feel like ur on fire but the slow burning kind. i can vouch that its not any better.

all this childhood trauma just makes u laugh because of how cliche it is. emotionally distant parents, all the siblings struggling to empathize with one another and lastly, there being no space to talk about things, to unpack.

its probably the worst feeling in the world to lose control of the situation and thats how i felt earlier today. you almost want to just pinch a part of ur skin if its that whats gonna make u feel like ur holding on to something.

anyways, point in blank is that id have to admit that i was afraid for the first time, ever. i realized that he only felt that way and reacted that way was because nobody at home made him feel like it was ever okay to let it out in front of others. my parents say they do but from what ive seen all theyve ever done for my brother in times like that was make him feel like his relationship problems are nothing major. and while there is truth to that, ive learned that it does sound invalidating. and nobody ever wants to feel that way.

the eldest daughter saga continues for me, once again im forced to numb myself in the ice that is my family's emotions.

--end--

[valentine-writes]

Hello hello!!! I heard you were taking request so...

May I please have some HCs about how GR Freddy and the rest of the gang would be as S/Os? 👉👈

i could use a love of some kind

↳ ft. the glamrocks + sun/sunnydrop, and moon/moondrop

「 gn! reader, romantic relationship <3 」

author's note: the song iz just.... so sweet ^_^ i thought it would b nice 2 listen 2 while writing this, so i added it so u can listen while u read!!!! if u wanna!!!!! ty anon 4 tha fun req, and i apologize 4 not writing it sooner luv <3 also he/it moondrop my fav ever.....

GLAMROCK CHICA headcanons:

▸ she's your best friend before anything else. the minute she met you, she couldn't help but get attached

▸ ultra energetic whenever you're with her. your presence really refreshes her. can't help but be buzzed with energy when she's with you

▸ chica is beyond sappy. you two are an adorable duo, it's undeniable- but man do roxy and monty tease you so much. this does Not Stop chica at all

▸ enjoys being physically close. you don't even have to be actually touching- even like. sitting near her makes her happy

▸ adores you. chica is the best hype girl ever and will b ur cheerleader when u need it!!! gives you that extra bit of motivation when you need it.

▸ she may not be all that threatening, which is expected, since she's sweet as sugar and incredibly friendly- but swears she would throw hands for you.

▸ likes receiving gifts! even if it's something small and simple like a trinket, giving her something tells her you were thinking of her. small gestures like that mean the world to her

more hcs under the cut !!

GLAMROCK FREDDY headcanons:

▸ in my head, the healthiest relationships you could have are with chica and freddy. i think it's mainly because these two aren't so emotionally constipated- for lack of better term (´꒳｀;)

▸ so completely genuine and honest. willing to communicate when there's something wrong and is very gentle w/ u

▸ that being said, maybe he's just a little. tiny bit. protective. not incredibly or overwhelmingly, but definitely needs to know that you're doing well for his peace of mind.

▸ pays attention to you. remembers the little things you tell him about yourself. he especially likes hearing about what type of music you enjoy! if there's anyone who knows your music taste as well as you- it's him

▸ likes dancing with you!!! idk why i just feel like this is a thing. if you insist you can't dance- he'll try to teach you!!!! (he wants 2 spend more time with you so badly (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) freddy's rly trying &lt;;/3)

▸ incredibly patient with you. if you're in emotional distress of some sort, always willing to comfort you first.

▸ secretly gets very nervous around you. he has this natural ability to have good conversational skills, doesn't have trouble getting along with others, and is generally likeable- he doubts ALL OF THAT around you. just a little. he seems to falter or get flustered very easily. freddy gets a little shy around u aw ^_^

ROXANNE WOLF headcanons:

▸ her insecurities can sometimes turn into jealousy- roxy just needs that extra bit of reassurance when it happens, she just wants to be good enough for you </3

▸ it's a little hard for her to let her pride down and actually express her emotions for you. her "i love you"s are often in the form of gestures and not verbal

▸ only ever really shows her soft side to you. it takes some time but she really does seem to melt around you. she's scared of being overly vulnerable with you- but give her time and you'll be the first person she opens up to when she needs some comfort

▸ WOOO SCARY ROBOT WOLF GF PRIVILEGES!!! if you ever feel in danger or uncomfortable in a situation, roxy 2 tha rescue!!!!! :] if someone's messing with you, they're gonna have to deal with her.

▸ she just thinks you're the cutest thing to ever be on the face of planet earth. likes watching your face light up when you tell her about things that you're passionate about- even likes how expressive you get when talking about things you despise. a good listener when you need one.

▸ compliments. so many. just casually. she wants to appreciate you like you appreciate her. she's a little bad at giving them at the start but give it time. they're from a place of sincerity.

▸ misses you very easily when you're not around. you could be gone for a day and the next time she sees you, she'll act like you've been away for decades.

MONTGOMERY GATOR headcanons:

▸ ough boy i write for this silly guy so so much. i am runnin outta monty juice but oh babey!!!! u two are just tha perf pair

▸ actually starting the relationship was the hardest part..... he's kind of emotionally guarded. slowly but surely he learns that he can trust you

▸ it might not be easy at the start- like, actually trying to get to know him. he's got some issues with anger and is very short tempered. little things throughout the day irritate him so much and he takes his anger out by thrashing his room and on people who don't deserve it.

▸ if he ever gets mean to you becuz of this anger tho?? oh man. he'll struggle through a million apologies just to make you feel better again. he wants to be nice 2 u, really. he's not bad. just a little troubled :(

▸ once he trusts you, you're one of the only people he's really soft for. you really just melt him into a sappy puddle. but also. still wants 2 b cool in ur eyes. so tries to hide it. (it does not work!!!!! he cannot hide how much he adores u)

▸ you get a million names and are always called them. like. always. so much so that like the entire pizzaplex probably thinks ur lil nickname from him is ur legal name. he likes recieving sweet little nicknames too :] however. he loves to hear your voice saying his name most.

▸ bonus: when talkin abt when u first saw each other, he's all like "it was love at first sight ;]" and ur like "...u looked like u wanted 2 kill me the first time we met." he recalls being absolutely head over heels. you recall how he stared intensely as you walked past, wondering what you had done to make him glare daggers ur way. (he remembers that heart eyes were practically forming under his shades. perhaps thats for him 2 know.)

SUNDROP headcanons:

▸ ok so he's fully and completely in love. his words, not mine. probably because that was one of the first things he said when meeting you. kidding! i think. but it's certainly no secret sunny liked you the minute you met. and how couldn't he?

▸ he tried so hard just to be friends with you. drew you a million drawings of you and him holding hands just to get the message across. guess it worked eventually!! and better than he thought it would <3

▸he puts so much effort into the relationship you two have- he secretly fears being replaced for someone better but shh its not the main reason he does all this- because he's never had this type of thing with anyone. he make sures to cherish you and give you all the attention and care you need. you will never go neglected by sun.

▸ you will however, have to be there for him too. he can get a little erratic and he needs someone to get him to calm down. offering him some patience and time is really all he asks for when he's being a little much.

▸ physically affectionate!!! so much!!!! he's not very shy about wanting a hug 24/7 or holding your hand- but if you aren't a very touchy person, he understands!! looming over your shoulder like a terrifying shadow works for him too. he just wants u there with him.

▸ knows every little detail about your likes and dislikes! keeps a list probably. just like. a t-chart with one side that says "good! fun!" and the other that says "ick! not enjoyed >:[ !!" stuff like favorite colour, genres of music you listen to, movies you love are there, yeah- but there's also like. specifics. incredibly niche details about yourself you've mentioned once or twice which he will keep and remember! the list was just for sun to keep track of what could be good conversation starters to talk to you when you two first met aw

▸ can get a little protective. again, he's a bit worried he's too much for you, or that you'll find someone better. he doesn't get jealous in a possessive sense but he def needs a bit of reassurance. he'd hate to be something replacable in your eyes. this is the first time someone has cared for him like this- losing you would hurt more than anything in the world.

MOONDROP headcanons:

▸ BASTARD WHO STICKS HIS COLD METAL HANDS ON THE BACK OF UR NECK. it's his way of showing affection. or bothering u. same thing when it comes to moon /hj

▸ i don't know how you managed. but hey congrats. you're stuck with it now! and moon fully intends to let you know that. clingy, yes- but not in the way sunny is. ok. kind of like how sun is. but more of the "looming-over-your-shoulder-like-a-terrifying-shadow" sense rather than the cuddles and handholding.

▸yes, when the lights are out, he will be following you around. he likes being in your presence. he doesn't undestand what draws him to you at first, but finds himself trailing your footsteps often. (this is. very anxiety inducing for you, who probably hadn't even talked to him at this point. like?? where are those weird bell noises coming from?? are those... eyes in the distance or- oh no wait it's gone in a blur wtf)

▸ though very reluctant to talk to anyone, you two somehow become close. it likes the fact you never really gave up on it- despite the fact it can be a bit offputting and unnerving.

▸ likes picking you up. greeting ritual where moon just kinda- hoists you into the air on sight. he decends down on his wire when he sees you enter and just. swoop.

"hi."

▸ will fight and kill and murder and bite and slaughter for you- just. your dynamic:

moon: why do you think i don’t like you? i do. i would kill for you. 

moon: ask me to kill for you. 

you: ...first of all, calm down-

^^THATZ U TWO. ITS CANON NOW. so like... yeah his chill is. very low. moon just tends to be very intense in every way possible and it shows. he's got the right intentions (for the most part) with all his fervour. he puts all that energy into showing you and letting you know you are loved and safe with him :] no one will hurt you. no one can.

[venusandsaturnsrings]

sorry for the break but im back ueueue

got me thinking,,, do u ever think that incel diluc has some sort of savior complex rooted from the whole dark knight hero thing from canon? like i imagine that when he was running that bar, he'd have cases of people getting roofied and nearly taken advantage of and saves them, not mentioning that more than 3/4s of those cases were paid staff he hired personally,,,,

then when u came along strutting in with ur colorful attire and cheeky grin, dilucs mouth nearly waters and he has since decided to plan the most elaborate rescue to have u in his palms. he doesn't immediately save u when u were dragged out and stuffed into the van, he tracks u down (more like just drives through the abandoned warehouse he obviously rented for this masterpiece) and times his entrance just right so that he can stop it just as u were about to be disrobed. he knows he's won this when he sees ur thankful eyes, mascara running down ur tear streaked cheeks and pupils heart shaped at ur gallant savior.

honestly i see him justifying this with no one being really hurt in the end, and sometimes treat it as some sort of extreme sport.

idk sorry im really bad with other charas that aren't childe aaa

OOOOOOOOOH my love... you always feed me so so yummy... i'm never opposed to childe content EVER since he's almost all i talk about but diluc is so yum too... emotionally constipated red-head man <3 responding to this with @teyvatmoon in mind...

PLEASE READ THE TAGS ON THIS, IT'S A WEE BIT DARK

Diluc could justify anything and its somewhat of a talent. it's gotten him out of plenty sticky situations and is partially what has kept his reputation so very shiny. what kind of respected figure can't smooth talk and pull excuses from their ass? none of them. Diluc can do whatever 'horrible' things he wants as long as he can paint them as 'honorable' instead. who would go against the twenty-three year old student and business owner? no one with a brain, that's for sure.

since owning a café on campus was wildly successful in the day time, it was only the natural progression of things for Diluc to obtain a liquor license to host events in the evening. such after-hours happenings weren't frequent since it always took a lot of work and a lot of staff but he was happy to provide a space on campus for people to drink since, for everyone but you, it was safer. prior to starting these monthly events it took a lot of work with both the university, himself, and city representatives but Diluc is beyond charming when he sees fit. sorting out rules and standards was like nothing to the young man and so, every last Friday of the month, he'd host drinking at was usually a calm café.

you and your friends had frequented there during the day for quite sometime now so it was no surprise when you all began showing up to these monthly binge drinking sessions. it was nice to attend such an event somewhere you were already so familiar with in the day time. it didn't take long for you and the rest of your group to warm up to the place. perhaps for you, it was too fast.

the buildings front was a large glass garage door that would be rolled up in the hot months to create better airflow since there was no air conditioning and it also allowed for more people to hand about the area with extended seating. being September it wasn't quite cold enough for it to be necessary for the door to close and thus it was still left open. students milled about the whole area drinking and laughing. you had decided to wear something a bit more revealing and daring this evening just for fun, well, what was supposed to be fun.

the skimpy and fully pink outfit had definitely garnered stares; hungry ones. such a head-turning outfit surely had more than just Diluc staring desperately. this... choice... of yours simply furthered the righteous feelings brewing in his heart. he was excited and many surly mistook the slight upturn of his lips as love for his work when really it was love for you. it was hard for even such a self controlled man as him not to stare at your tits, ass, thighs, stomach, or any other expanse of skin his eyes could find. your plump flesh was everything to him and he was certainly going to savour this first night of many in which he'd indulge in such a beautiful body. Diluc had almost entirely zoned out on you up until you had finally come to him grinning and asking for a drink. whatever he recommended, you said. his dick jumped at the words. well, he certainly did have something extra special to make for you. the drink was a deep purple colour, bordering on black, and glittering. it smelled of alcohol as well as a cacophony of berries. it tasted almost better than it looked. the only thing that would've made it better was a less salty and bitter taste but Diluc had given it to you on the house so no real complaints could be made. the drink as well as the evening was gone in what felt like seconds.

you had stumbled around back near the parking lot for some air and to text your friends only to remember you had handed off your phone and wallet to one of your friends with pockets in their outfit as you had none. it only took that one moment of disorientation for you to feel as though your body was being twisted and wrung out in every direction. in a way, you were. the hard landing on metal barely covered in cheap blankets did nothing to soothe the growing panic and nausea filling your body. you squirmed in every direction and cried as loud as you could but the hands trying and holding you down never ceased. the latex gloved hands all smelled of rubbing alcohol and all the voices sounded like venom. you were wholly convinced this was where you'd die. the roughhousing that ensued upon the van stopping was almost worse. being thrown on the ground and dragged over sharp gravel and nails would've made you worried about tetanus if there wasn't a knife right against the back of your throat. you heard doors slam and felt your body slam. this was the final time you were to be thrown but also the first time it had caused you to throw up.

the bile rose up your throat quickly. the salty and acidic liquid that rose up ended up covering part of your front and all of the floor in front of you. the group of men merely laughed at you. mocking how you're so weak and useless. can't even hold it together enough to not make yourself sick, they crooned. their hands, however, never let up on their assault of roaming your body. you thought perhaps they expected this and the gloves were a preemptive measure. with your head still spinning and stomach churning you almost felt upset about the masks you could now see obscuring their faces. 'cowards,' you thought. they paused. did you say that aloud? ah. you're really fucked now.

the chunk of wood that flew across the room and hit one of them hard in the nose startled you. with a heavy head, you turned to see him. Diluc. so he had piped up to insult them and he had come to save you; if the gun in his hand was pointed at them the way you thought it was. it didn't take long for the under-armed group to flee and Diluc to land by your side. concern was etched all over his features as he gently untied and helped you up. he didn't seem to mind the vomit getting on him at all. it was sweet in a gross way.

he took you back to his very nice home, after a brief trip to urgent care for aforementioned needed tetanus shot, to have you properly cleaned up and given a mix of medicines that should alleviate the drugs running through you rather quickly. his hands were soft and human. not a touch of latex or a whiff of rubbing alcohol. his arms felt safe. Diluc held you until you slept that night, more than pleased with how things turned out. you'd be his now and the extra jack-off material he got from recording the whole ordeal could stay a secret. that was his guilty pleasure. <3

[trixstriforce]

hello :) i saw your posts about lu and idk if you were gauging interest in people hearing your opinions. personally i would be super interested in reading what specifically about every lu character is ooc! i am similarly frustrated with the current dominance of lu characterizations in fandom as a ww fan. ive been following for a while i just logged into this side account because i am scared to ask on main :( i hope you do not mind the somewhat bare blog. thank you!

oh my god oh my god oh my god someone wants my opinion??? do u wanna make out???? u do not understand the power u r giving me rn u do not understand how annoying and nitpicky and very passionate i can get specifically about lu bc i care so much about link its unreal and also bc i just like things like linkedmaze, dimensional links, and minaslinkverse better characterization wise bc to me they have shown the "found family links meeting up" thing a lotttt better than lu when i still read it

but to be fair i STOPPED reading around the part where four split due to the way the lu community reacting to the person with DID, a very stigmatized disorder who genuinely just wanted Jojo to acknowledge they messed up in the past and present and didnt like the vauge ass apology she gave making me actually disgusted. ppl talk about accountability then rallied against 1 tumblr user who was uncomfortable bc ppl liked Jojo's comic so she doesnt have to explain that now she respects nonbinary ppl and understands how past things were wrong for her to say we just infer this bc lu good :/ like hey maybe Jojo owned up to it afterwards or something bc she made 2 apologies that would make a YouTuber blush so i was done w/ the community and it was only rlly after that and after i played a few of the actual games + read some mangas i realized wow actually i do not like lu as much as i thoguht i did they butchered my boy, also i feel i should say it literally wouldnt matter to me do what u want in ur au but lu is now a fandom of its own and its influenced a lot of other aus and interpretations of link so i do take issue w/ how ooc these guys end up being

OK HERE R THE MOST BASIC ISSUES W/OUT GETTING INTO EACH LINK RN:

for one i dont know for me having link as a secret hoarder who would rather DIE than use the full scope of his abilities around OTHER HEROS is just no bc thats fucking stupid levels of wanting to appear normal around OTHER HEROS possiblly the ONLY other ppl to ever understand what u r going through

for me having every single link act like a frat boy/standard teenage white boy who is emotionally constipated is a no??? have u SEEN link he is so sociable and kind and understanding to other ppl WHY r the links like this, so many fics just...make them stew in their issues for angst and not trust the others and be incredibly insecure about the other heros(which is lu canon for at least hyrule and wind i think?) and like ok that is definitely fine for 1 link but why r they all like this in the games link is clearly not like that he wouldn't be this closed off and wouldn't hesitate so much like my dude he just inserts himself into other ppl's lives to make them better than leaves he wouldn't pussyfoot around other heros like what

also another major issue is the mergings just lead to certain characterizations or important backstory for certain links(FOUR. LEGEND.) being completely erased and the nuance of their journeys lost like when u merge links who r canonically 100s of years apart not just in the timeline but in the GAMES? yeah u lose things that make that link special

also bc u mentioned wind waker i found it kinda fucked up that wind waker link was delegated to The Kid TM even tho his entire journey was about moving on from the past to a brighter future and he took on the mantle left behind by the hero of time on his own volition and did what Time COULDN'T do which is kill Ganon but he is constantly underestimated and made into the Kid Who Wants Approval trope specifically around Time which sucks ass ngl he deserves to be an equal him still being a kid while the others got to grow up, including Four who's first journey arguably would have been a better fit for this archtype of wide eyed kid, is just side lining one of the most interesting links especially considering most of the other links were YOUNGER than him when they started

this is all general stuff plus 1 of my issues w/ Wind bc ur a Wind Waker fan bc as a Spirit Track fan i feel a kinship, im gonna make another post for specifically each link breaking down my issues w/ how they r portrayed later bc rn it is 8am and i ment to just say haha ty for the permission but then my inner ranter came out i am INCAPABLE of being normal about lu especially after i actually experienced zelda games bc lu was my FIRST introduction to zelda outside of smash bros lol

toast if u r reading this say rip to ur dms bc i am once more gonna talk to u about a comic for a videogame franchise u only know about due to my rambles and forcing u at gunpoint to learn about link...godspeed comrade

[rinstars]

Okay like I had faith in you to give sunayn their deserved happy ending but the first half did have sweating a little I'm not gonna lie 💀

This chapter was by far the most satisfying bc the ongoing problem throughout the whole fic was miscommunication between a lot of the characters (ESPECIALLY with rin and his emotionally constipated ass). The last scene made me so happy bc rin and yn finally had a decent talk about their feelings with no distractions (y*r@) and to see their growth as people, I'm so proud 😭 Especially proud of rin bc he finally spoke his truth instead of pushing yn away, you can tell he really learnt from his mistakes <33 AND WHEN HE FINALLY VERBALLY SAID "I love you" !!! I CRIED 😭😭 I could honestly feel the relief from yn's part when he said it and then repeated it several times to reassure her, they're so adorable, I fkn love them sm 😩💘

But seriously risa, the fact that you could make me feel so many things with your writing is crazy, I hope you realize how beautiful your writing is bc it's so memorable to the point where I think of some scenes listening to music or watching movies/tv shows. When a writer's work impacts the way I think in real life... that's how I know they're truly amazing at what they do, so you should give yourself all the credit, well done risa <333

Also, most memorable scenes for me were sunayn swing moment, their last night together before yn left and the very last scene at the fountain. Those were written so beautifully and it'll never leave my head 😭

-🐆 anon

RIGHT RIGHT GOODBYE TO MISCOMMUNICATION FINALLY 😭☝🏼☝🏼 the ily meant a lot more when you know hes loved her all those years and only had the courage to say it now :( it was such a relieving moment for both of them. and i agree w ur fav parts! those were among my favorite parts to write too along with the catching-yura-and-suna-and-the-talk-after-it HRIEHKWHSKS im so grateful cfm has played such a big part in u and u see it everywhere it makes me feel like ive succeed as a write hfkshskh ILY

[cqsuanla]

Tryyna make me cry at EIGHT IN THE MORNING???? Anyway soft medicore nat is the best thing in the world, and you managed to write Natasha so well! She has this depth to her, she's dismissive of feelings yet I feel cares too much only realising when she is at risk of losing it,, what an emotionally constipated dummy lmao (affectionately)💕 Im super happy ur back and I hope ur doing well! I'm only into like.. app games so Idk what ur playing but I hope u have fun haha :))

Btw I'm gonna go reread it bc that was so good and soft idk what to say...

thank you!! i dont have the energy to write huge things but i think i can do lil snippets here n there for our silly mediocre gf nat<3

[when-they-write-stuff]

Idk if u take random prompts and u can ignore this, but if you’d be okay with it, I would love a fic where stiles knows Derek is weird about dating so instead of asking him out he just dares him to do stuff that “coincidentally” lead to date-like activities (go see the new horror movie, go on the biggest roller coaster, go try some spicy food etc.). It can end however you want, but ofc they would end up together :D I love ur writing & think u would write this great, but no worries if not!!

I do take random prompts! And I love this one so much.

- -

Stiles had a plan.

Okay, it was less of a plan and more of a ‘make stuff up as he went along’ type of thing, but he was going to call it a plan. And he was going to work the shit out of it until things came together.

See, his acclaimed plan™ consisted of an emotionally constipated Alpha werewolf and his stubbornness to ever let anyone close to him. But Stiles was nothing if not resilient and he’d decided to get as close to Derek Hale as humanly possible. Or, as werewolf-y possible, whatever.

Scott thought he was an idiot. But Scott thought a lot of things that Stiles didn’t always agree with it, so he’d learned to brush his best friends protests off. Stiles had a plan. And he was going to stick with it.

It started out with a dare. Stiles thought he totally had things under control from there on out.

He totally didn’t.

“Movie night is so not canceled,” Stiles protested, when the rest of the pack all conveniently came up with things they were supposed to do that Friday instead of hanging out and pack bonding. “We were gonna watch horror movies. It was gonna be great!”

“Sorry, man,” Scott said, actually looking a little apologetic. “Deaton’s got me working double shifts. I’ll be out until after midnight.”

“And we’re having a ladies night,” Lydia said, linking her arms with Allison and Erica’s. “Which involves lots of gossip, knife sharpening, and a total lack of boys. And don’t even get any ideas, Stiles, you’re not allowed to come. I don’t care how well you can paint nails.”

Jackson gave him a judgemental look. Stiles rolled his eyes. 

“What? I have steady hands.”

Erica huffed out a laugh of amusement and Stiles resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. He turned to Derek’s other remaining betas, looking at them pleadingly.

“Come on, guys. We could have a bo—”

“Do not finish that sentence,” Jaskier said, baring his teeth. “Or I swear to god, Stilinski, I’ll rip your tongue out.”

“Asshole,” Stiles said, and Jackson smirked. Stiles turned to the other two. “Come on, guys, they’re horror movies! They’re great. And it’s either that or I’m stuck dog sitting my neighbor’s poodle, and I’m ninety-nine percent sure she’s feral!”

“Sorry,” Boyd said, shrugging. “I’ve got a shift at the ice rink. And Isaac has one at the graveyard.”

“You’re all terrible people.”

“We’re all people with jobs,” Isaac said. “You should try getting one. Or you and Derek can have a movie night. Alone.”

Across the room, Derek straightened. Jackson barked out a laugh and Stiles glanced over despite himself, meeting Derek’s narrowed eyes. His heart sunk when the man shook his head. “I have… things.”

“Things?”

“Yes,” Derek said. “Things.”

“Like what,” Lydia challenged. Derek’s brows furrowed and he thought for a moment, but Stiles butted in before he could finish coming up with a good excuse. 

“Well,” he said, and Derek shot him a warning look. “Now you don’t have things. Because we’re going to watch scary movies. Unless the big bad Alpha werewolf of Beacon Hills is a big chicken?”

Derek glared at him. “I’m not a chicken, Stiles.”

“Perfect! It’s a date!”

All the other betas groaned. Stiles winced, his face turning red.

“I mean, not a date,” he said. “Of course, it’s not a date. It’s an… occurrence. Between two friends. That will occur. This Friday.”

“Fine,” Derek said.

“Fine!”

Erica rolled her eyes and muttered something about ‘hopeless idiots’, whatever the heck that was supposed to mean. Stiles didn’t really care.

Because he had a new idea.

-

It turned out Derek wasn’t a big baby when it came to scary movies. Stiles was. 

Though he’d never admit he was the one who spent most the time hiding his face in his hands, even if that was true. He could’ve sworn he caught Derek smirking over at him more than once, but the Alpha always looked away whenever Stiles tried to catch his gaze.

Whatever. Stiles was not scared of horror movies. He was just… expressive.

By the time the third movie had finished, Stiles may or may not have chewed his nails down to nubs and even though it was nearing midnight, he was not tired at all. Derek looked unbothered, lounging with one arm over the sofa, a bored expression on his face. Stiles thought that was terribly unfair.

“I thought you said horror movies were great,” Derek said, shooting him a smirk. Stiles rolled his eyes.

“They are,” he said. “Utterly fantastic. I love them.”

“You know I can hear you lying, right?”

“Oh, shut up, Sourwolf,” Stiles said, pushing himself up. He shook out his sweaty palms and put on his best grin, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just hungry. How does spicy food sound?”

“I don’t like spicy food,” Derek said, making a face. Stiles snorted.

“Dude, you would live off of raw meat and protein shakes if you could, of course, you don’t like spicy food. But we’re ordering it anyway.”

“Stiles—”

“Consider this is a dare, dude. Don’t be a chicken.”

“A dare,” Derek said with narrow eyes, looking unimpressed. Stiles thumbed out his phone and grinned over at him.

“Yes, Sourwolf, a dare. I know this place that does the best spicy noodle delivery. Don’t tell me werewolves are allergic to good food?”

“You’re obnoxious,” Derek said. Stiles waved a hand through the air and turned away, bringing the phone to his ear.

“Whatever. You’ll thank me later!”

-

Derek did not end up thanking him later.

In fact, when they were both racing for water and Derek was literally growling like a feral Alpha werewolf, Stiles realized maybe he should’ve avoided going up a few temperatures when ordering the noodles. At the time, it’d seemed like a good idea. Who didn’t love a good challenge?

But he didn’t even think what they’d just eaten was edible. Derek shot him a glare, red eyes flashing.

“What the hell was that, Stiles?”

“Noodles!”

“Those were not noodles,” Derek growled. “That was poison.”

“Wolfbane?”

“No, you idiot,” Derek said, tipping back the rest of his water. He swallowed hard and wiped his mouth, and the red faded from his eyes as he blinked a few times. “But there’s no way that was edible food.”

Stiles really wished he could disagree with him. But, rinsing his mouth out for the third time, he couldn’t. His eyes were still watering.

“Okay,” Stiles said, spitting the last of the taste from his mouth. “Whatever. That was a mistake, I’ll admit. But for the next challenge, I offer you ice cream and brain freezes—”

“Stiles,” Derek said, cutting him off. Stiles blinked at him.

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

Stiles stared at him for a long moment. Derek’s face was flat and Stiles searched for a quick excuse, only to end up laughing nervously and waving a hand through the air. “What, me? I’m just trying to have a good Friday night!”

“You don’t like horror movies,” Derek said. “You tried to poison us both. And ice cream is only good when you’re not trying to actively hurt your brain.”

“Tell that to Scott,” Stiles muttered. “He’s the king of that challenge.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Stiles said stubbornly, crossing his arms. “I’m being a good friend, dude. Cause right now, I’d be dog sitting my neighbor’s poodle of a nightmare and you’d be… what, sitting in the dark? Reading hundred-year-old books? It’s Friday night, dude. That’s a crime!”

“Stiles.”

“Don’t ‘Stiles’ me.”

“Stiles.”

“Alright, fine!” Stiles said, throwing his hands up. He started out of the kitchen and then turned back around, giving Derek a dark look. Because he had a plan, dammit, and this was not it. “You don’t let anyone in, Sourwolf. You spend most pack bonding nights in your own little corner, reading your dusty books, and that’s so not cool. And— And— spicy food, dude! Werewolves cannot live off meat and protein shakes! You’ll get scurvy.”

“Werewolves can’t get scurvy,” Derek said. Stiles groaned, pacing the room again.

“And don’t even get me started on your sweet tooth, which I know you have by the way. It’s not such a bad thing, Derek. You’re allowed to eat ice cream. And people are allowed to care about you!”

Derek straightened. Stiles froze in his steps and considered those last few words for a moment, before turning around.

“People. Not me, but people. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You care.”

“No, no, I don’t care one bit. I’m just saying, Sourwolf, you can’t live in solitude and only go out at night. You’re not a vampire.”

“You do care,” Derek said, stepping forward. Stiles stumbled back, shaking his head.

“I do not! Stop putting words in my mouth!”

Derek came to a stop. Stiles froze too and tried to calm his pounding heart. This was still a way out of this, he was sure of that. If wasn’t like Derek actually cared that he cared. Unless he wanted to rip out his throat for being nosy or something. And that would be unfortunate.

“You do care,” Derek said, softly this time. Stiles still shook his head.

“Nope.”

“You know I can hear you lying.”

“That’s not fair,” Stiles said. “That’s playing dirty. I call party foul.”

“Stiles, you can’t—”

“Party foul!”

Derek clamped his mouth shut and gave Stiles a flat look. Stiles winced and wrung out his hands, shrugging. He could barely meet Derek’s gaze anymore. “What do you want me to say, Sourwolf? That maybe, just maybe, I do care? Is that such a bad thing?”

“I never said it was.”

Stiles looked up in surprise. Derek’s ears turned red and this time, it was his turn to look down at the floor. 

“I can’t cook,” he said.

“What?”

“I can’t cook,” Derek repeated. “So it’s easier to just… not, instead of trying. And I don’t like getting in the way of pack night. And... Laura was the one with the sweet tooth. It just kind of rubbed off.”

Stiles stared at him, at a momentary loss for words. Derek wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“I didn’t think anybody ever cared.”

“I care.”

“I know,” Derek said quietly, looking up. “I can hear your heartbeat.”

“Oh my god,” Stiles muttered, hunching in on himself and running a hand through his hair. He felt his face turning hot. “That’s so corny, Sourwolf. Stop it, you’re making my skin itch.”

Derek rolled his eyes. Stiles thought that was a little better.

“Alright,” Stiles said. “Tomorrow night, an actual movie, good food, and… ice cream?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Stiles insisted. “A real date isn’t complete without dessert.”

“Oh,” Derek said, a smirk tugging at the edges of his lips. Stiles face his face turn hot again, wishing he could just melt into the floor. “And that’s what it’ll be. A real date?”

“I had a plan, you know,” Stiles muttered. Derek snorted.

“A plan.”

“Yes, Sourpuss, a plan,” Stiles said. Derek gave him a predatory look and Stiles narrowed his eyes, retreating a step back. “And no, stop looking at me like that. I’m not telling.”

“Hm.”

“Derek, stop it. I swear to god—”

The loft door suddenly opened and shut and Stiles squawked, spinning around. He heard the sound of the betas filing into the loft and deflated, breathing out heavily. Derek stepped beside him and Stiles nearly leaped out of his skin again as he felt warm breaths near his ear.

“Not scared after horror movies, huh?”

“I hate you.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

Dammit. It wasn’t. Stiles elbowed Derek in the stomach and grinned at the choked off noise he made, starting out of the kitchen into the main room. He could brush off the suspicious looks of the betas easily. After all, nothing had happened. Yet.

That was a dare another Stiles was totally planning.

It was gonna be great.

- -

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