#when this girl was first introduced she was like a very standard minor love interest during Tony’s playboy stuff

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #42

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

The Office

Pairing; CEO+Dad’s Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary; You and Bucky fuck for the very first time in his office at the company’s building.

Word Count; 4574

Warnings; NSFW, 18+, Minors DNI, undefined age-gap, “cheating”, language, cursing, Sir!kink, dirty talk, pet names, slight degradation, hair pulling, oral (male receiving), face-fucking, spitting, fingering, teasing, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, creampie, mention of bodily fluids.

Authors Note; I can’t get enough of CEO+DBF!Bucky so this will be the first of many fics like this! I hope people will like it and be interested in more! Jesus I need to bathe in holy water now. Hope you all enjoy <3

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Bucky had begun texting you while sitting in a meeting with your dad and some of the company's other employees. You weren't doing anything important, just at home reading a book, so you were more than happy to text back and forth with him. The meeting was relatively standard and straightforward, it wasn't too much of an importance, so it allowed Bucky to talk with you without feeling guilty while the rest of them sorted out the details. Once in a while, he would chime in with his views and opinions. The text messages were pretty innocent, to begin with. The standard “hello” and “what you are up to” was exchanged between the two of you before more of the dirtier stuff ensued.

You thought about it for a second before you sent him an answer. You and Bucky had started fucking around a few weeks ago. You had met him when your parents had friends and colleagues over for a grand party like they had most of the time. You had just moved back home after living on your own in another city for three years, so this was your first time seeing Bucky in person. You had heard a lot about him and seen pictures when he started working with your dad, and they had formed a tight friendship, but you had never met him in person. He was even more handsome than what the pictures could show when you got introduced to him, and you had started to take a liking to him instantly. He had done as well because not even a week after you met, you and he had started a relationship. To begin with, it was only fucking around, but as the weeks went by, you felt like there may be more to it; sparks were felt between the two of you. None of you had done anything about it yet, mainly because it wouldn’t be received well by the public, your family most likely would disapprove and because of his wife Natalie and her whole family.

Which you didn’t find wrong at all that he was “cheating” on her with you. They both hated each other’s guts and would more than anything like getting a divorce. Bucky had told you that she had cheated on him multiple times, and he had done as well with her, but they played the happy couple when they were out in public because of their families. They got married at a very young age because their families are rich and powerful and wanted their kids to get together, so they are now stuck in this toxic relationship together. But soon, you and Bucky would have to decide where the next step of the relationship would go. Would you continue to sneak around, or would you form a proper relationship and come out for the whole wide world? It was only a matter of time before you needed to decide.

You and he would primarily meet up on neutral grounds. In his car or a hotel but on a few occasions, you had fucked in his or your parent's house in your room. This would be the first time you had done it where he worked; you assumed it would be in his office. It would be risky, but the thought about him taking you hard against every surface had your thighs clenching in need of him.

A soft whimper escaped your parted lips at his promise to fuck your brains out. He was never afraid to be direct with you about his needs and feelings. He always meant what he said, and that was one of your favorite things about him. You could always trust that he would be true to his words.

It would take you about 30 minutes to get over there, so you needed to leave right now. You did a quick freshen up before you called a taxi to get you over to the company’s building. Being in the car gave you time to think this through. You weren't sure how you and he would pull this off. Everyone would see if you entered his office and then wonder what was taking so long and what in the hell you guys were doing in there. In their eyes, you and Bucky weren't even friends. You barely spoke with one another when other people were around, as not to raise any suspicion. For them, you were the boss's daughter while Bucky was his partner, and nothing was going on between you two; besides, Bucky had his “loving” wife, Natalie.

The building stood tall as you arrived. Clouds were teasing rain, and it was a bit cold. The skirt you were wearing made your body chilly, but you kept it on for Bucky's sake. You looked up at the structure before you went through the main entrance. The security guards and the workers at the reception greeted you as everyone was well aware of who you were. You all greeted them with a smile as you walked towards the elevators. Entering the elevator, you became impatient as it took its time to travel up the floors to the main offices in the building. Your legs were uneasy as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. A thin layer of sweat formed on your hairline as you came up with scenarios with how you and Bucky could get caught. You shook your head, trying to get those thoughts down. You trusted Bucky, and besides, this was something you wanted to try out.

When you arrived at the floor, and the door slid open, you saw your dad, Bucky, and some of the employees coming out of one of the conference rooms. The meeting must have just finished. As you walked over, you tried to put on a smile to mask your nervousness. None of them had seen you yet, except for Bucky. He had you in his sight out of the corner of his eye, a slight smirk on his face as he saw you strutting over. You came to stand between him and your dad.

Bucky couldn’t have been more subtle with staring you up and down; your dad was standing right there after all. His tongue darting out between his lips to wet them, clearly having an image on his head about you bent over at his mercy.

“Hi, dad! Mr. Barnes, it's nice to see you again.”

Bucky gave you a simple nod of his head, acting like he isn't just about to have his way with you in his office with your dad not having a clue about what a whore his sweet and innocent daughter is, “pleasure seeing you again.”

“Sweetheart,” your dad gave you a one-arm hug as he had a smile on his face at his daughter visiting him at work, “what are you doing here?”

“I was in the area and thought I could drop by before moving on with my day.”

“Aw, honey. I wish I could spend some time with you, but we have a meeting again in 30 minutes.”

“It's alright, dad. I'm on my way out again anyways. Have some errands to run,” you lied.

“Excuse me, sweetheart.” He turned to say something to the others. While everyone had their attention on your dad, you turned slightly towards Bucky to give him a “chill out” look. The outfit you were wearing had him on edge and excited to have you in his office as soon as possible. Since the crowd was paying attention to your dad, it allowed Bucky to give you some instructions. He leaned in a little closer to you, but not too close in case someone saw.

“Here,” he slipped you his card, the card for the private elevator he had that went from the parking lot and up to his office, “take the elevator. No one is going to see you. Also, I want you to have your panties off before you come upstairs. You got it?”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat. Your body felt hot and warm. The palms of your hands had a thin layer of sweat on them as you took the card from him. Your heart was hammering against your chest. This was really about to happen.

“Y-yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.”

Like clockwork, your dad turned around towards you again just as Bucky leaned away from your body. “Well, I'll see you when I get home later, sweetheart.” He went to hug you again, and you returned the action.

“Bye, dad. Bye, Mr. Barnes, I'll see you around.”

Everyone said their goodbyes to you before you left. You went out of the building and around it to where the cars went down into the parking lot. Once down there, you made sure that no one was around to see you before you scanned the card for the elevator. The journey up to his office gave you the opportunity to take your panties off. You held them in your hand as you almost bounced up and down in fear and excitement for what was in store for you when you reached his floor.

When the elevator reached the office, and the doors opened, you saw that Bucky was waiting for you, his back facing you. He was staring out the big windows that decorated almost his entire office room.

“Did you take your panties off as I told you to do?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He turned around so he could be met with you. His tongue wetting his lips as he beckoned with his finger for you to come over to him, “get over here now.” Not even thinking for another second, you were quick to stand by his side by the window, waiting for further instructions he had to give you.

“Give them to me,” the palm of his hand was held out for you to hand them over to him. With shaking hands, you handed them over, and he opened his suit jacket to put them in the inside pocket so he could keep a hold of them.

“Is someone going to come in?”

“Shh,” his hand came to caress the side of your face—his thumb stroking your cheek. The simple action had you relax a tiny bit. “Don't worry. I locked the door, and besides, I told them not to disturb me. Do you trust me?”

“I do, Bucky. With my life.”

“Well then,” his finger pointed down to the floor, and you knew immediately what he was getting at, “get down on your knees for me.”

In front of the window of all things?! For everyone to see? But frankly, you didn't care. Let them see it all. You would give them all a good show. Besides, they wouldn't be able to know that it's you because the next building over was some distance away. All you cared about was to have his dick in your mouth right now and nothing else.

Like second nature, you quickly sank on your knees where you had spent more than once worshiping his cock, and this wouldn't be the last one either. He looked down at you, his eyes dark with desire at you being so easily submissive to him. His tongue peeked out from his mouth at you on your knees for him.

His thumb traced your lips as his other hand was palming the bulge in his pants. You granted him access into your mouth as you sucked and swirled your tongue on his digit.

“I can't wait to have your lips wrapped around me, kitten. Do you want me to fuck your mouth?”

You nodded your head and released his thumb from your mouth, “please, Bucky, I want it so bad.”

Your eyes followed his hands, your lips parted, as he undid his belt and pulled down his suit pants along with his underwear. Coming face to face with his dick, ready to be sucked by you. You wrapped your hand around his shaft and looked up at him through your lashes, waiting so that he could give your permission at proceeding, knowing how much he loved it when you waited for him to provide you with a green light.

“Suck it, baby girl.”

You opened your mouth to swirl your tongue around his head before you wrapped your lips around him so you could suck on his mushroom tip, your tongue teasing him. You could see that he was becoming impatient, so you engulfed him halfway through while massaging his balls in your hand. The action had his hand fist in your hair, making a gasp being sounded against him by you, as an exhale of satisfaction escaped him.

He needed more, so with the help of his hand in your hair, he pushed his dick further into your mouth till the tip of him reached the back of your throat, making you gag around him. The vibrations from your mouth had him shiver all over. Your eyes were watering as saliva started coming out the side of your mouth. Looking directly up into his eyes as you took whatever was left of him the best you could and bobbed your head on him, watching as his eyes struggled to stay open to watch how good you were taking him down your throat.

“F-fuck. That's so good, baby. You love sucking my cock don't you, pretty girl, hm? Such a good girl for me, aren't you?”

His dirty talk turned you on, and all you wanted to do was touch yourself at his words. You released him from your hold. Saliva was hanging from your mouth, and his dick was glistening all in it. Your hand jerked him off so you could answer his question, your voice almost like honey as you spoke. The wetness from you made it easy to glide your hand effortlessly on him.

“Yes, Sir.”

A deep groan was sounded from within his chest at the nickname he loved to be called by you. You on your knees so pretty and messy for him had his dick twitch in your grasp.

“Good, baby. Look at you. Such a beautiful mess for me, kitten.”

“Only for you, Sir.”

His head leaned back some as you took him in your mouth again. Your mouth is an expert at taking the whole of him. “Fuck, I'm gonna cum. Do you want me to cum in your mouth, baby girl?” He asked while slowly thrusting his length in and out of it. All you could do was moan, letting him know that you wanted to taste him.

He picked up his speed and fucked your mouth, making you gag around him each time his tip tickled the back of your throat, and you loved every second of it. His hands came at the side of your face so he could hold you steady as he used your warm and wet hole as he pleased. The sloppy sounds of your mouth, your gags, and moans around him only enticed him even more to reach his end.

His thrusts became uneven, and not a second later, he came deep in your throat. Sounds of pleasure dissolved in the office space as your mouth took all that he had to offer. You swallowed around him, milking him for all that he was worth, as you moaned at his delicious taste. You didn't pull away from him until he had spilled every drop in you.

“Show me your mouth.”

Pulling away from him, you opened it to show him all of the cum. He learned down till his face was inches from you and proceeded to spit in your opening. The action had your desperate clit pulsating.

“Can you swallow all of that for me?”

Closing your mouth, you swallowed all of him, his cum and spit, and opened up once more to show him what a good girl you had been at drinking all that he gave you. His hand was petting your hair as a sign of appreciation for you being so amazing for him.

“Such a dirty girl. Was that good? You love the taste of me, don't you, doll?”

“Mhm, yes,” you responded while licking your lips. Your hand was jerking him off again as you couldn't get enough of the feel of him. Your words and actions had him lean back some.

“You've been such a good girl, and I want to give you a treat. Do you want it?”

His words went directly to your tingling clit, and you needed to push your thighs together to get some form of friction down there.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Get on all fours on the couch, with your ass facing the desk.”

You got up and walked over the few meters to the couch, taking off your skirt and sweater until you were only in your bra, and then got in the position as he had wanted from you. He went over to his desk to have a better view of you—leaning on it as his hands held the edge of it. You supported yourself on your elbows as you pushed your ass up and out, earning a groan from Bucky.

“Like this?”

“Just like that. Now touch yourself for me.”

Pushing two of your fingers inside your mouth to get them wet before your hand went underneath you to circle your aching and needy clit, letting out a sigh of relief at being able to feel something finally. You pushed the two fingers inside of you, letting out a low moan and they stretched and penetrated your tightness, closing your legs some at the feeling. It was nothing like Bucky's fingers or dick, but it would have to do for now. You started to move them in and out of your tight pussy, going at a slow pace, to begin with.

Bucky hadn't said anything yet, so he must be enjoying the show you were putting on for him. He let out a moan just as you turned your head to find him pumping his shaft while watching you intensely as you pleasured yourself. Your teeth captured your bottom lip at the sight of him.

“Fuck, kitten.”

You pulled your fingers out and started circling your clit again, whimpering as you were close to your orgasm. The two of you held eye contact as you watched each other.

“So good, Bucky.”

“You're such a good girl, baby. Showing me how you touch yourself. Is this how you look when you're in your room late at night? Touching yourself like this while thinking of me?”

“Mhm, yes.” His words made your fingers move rapidly into your tightness again, wanting to get to that sweet release you were craving desperately.

“Fuck, I'm gonna cum; please can I cum, Sir?” You pleaded, needing to get some form of relief. Tears were teasing to spill out of your eyes if you didn't get your way soon.

“No! Stop!” He didn't want you to cum just yet. Whining at his words but complying anyway, you knew you needed to listen to him, so you brought your fingers out of your hole and into your mouth to suck your juices off. You tried as best as possible to hold eye contact with him as you sucked and swirled your tongue around your digits, moaning at your own taste, as you swayed your ass from side to side for him.

“Fuck me, Sir, please.” He didn't hesitate for one second in getting behind your bent-down form at the speed of lightning. One of his hands caressed and grabbed one of your ass cheeks before it landed on your hip to hold a tight grip on it while the other held his shaft as he teased your fold with the tip of him.

“Please, Bucky, don't tease.”

“I'll give you what you want, doll.”

He slowly pushed himself in your warmth, wanting you to feel all of him. The feeling of fullness almost had you cumming right then and there. He filled you up to the brim, wanting you to feel all that he had to give, and you weren't one bit disappointed. He pulled out till only his tip was inside you before he slowly pushed himself into you again, doing this a few times to get you familiar with the feeling. He just wanted to cum right then and there at the tightness of your walls clenching around his throbbing dick.

“Bucky, please go faster. Fuck me, please,” you whimpered out, wanting him to fuck you completely senseless.

His thrusts were hard and fast as he fucked you into the couch, hips slapping against your backside, making you jolt forwards with each move of him. Your mouth hung open as silent screams came out of it.

“This pussy feels so incredible. Fuck, so tight.”

His hands held your sides while his fingernails dug in your skin, creating dents. He moaned out as he watched his dick disappear into your hole with every move of his hips. Your head was buzzing, and your face was buried deep in the cushions at the intense pleasure Bucky was giving you. “Oh god, please don't stop, babe,” you pleaded of him.

Bucky took a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back, making your back arch. You bit your lip at his rough and dominants actions. The hand in your hair and his abusive thrusts was too much and so intense, but you loved it to the fullest. Tears came out of your eyes as he was taking you so good from behind.

“You like this? Don't you, baby? You like when I fuck your tight and pretty pussy?” Take what belongs to me? Hm? Letting me fuck you like a whore while your dad is just down the hall?”

Your head was foggy from the incredible fucking he was giving you. The lack of answer from you had him unsatisfied, so he smacked your ass cheek hard, making you squeal out at the pain.

“Answer me!”

“Y-yes… I love your cock fucking my tight little pussy. Please don't stop, baby.”

“Such a good whore for me. I'm not gonna stop, kitten, I promise.”

The thought that your dad and everyone else that worked in the building was just out the door, not having a clue as to what was going on in Buckys office, was so intoxicating—not knowing that Bucky was having at it with the boss's daughter.

You turned your head, at the best of your abilities, to look at him. His eyes were shut tight, and his face in pure concentration as he moved his body against yours. He met your gaze, both of you looking at each other as you neared your orgasm. One of your hands grabbed onto his forearm that had a tight grip on your hip. His other went underneath you to play and tease your clit.

“Please, Bucky, I need to cum. I need you to fill me up, please.” The pathetic pleas for him to fill up your pussy was what brought forward his release and made him finish deep inside of you.

His seed filling you up was what brought forth your own release. The way your walls became tighter around him had his hips snap rapidly against you as he gave you all of his cum. Moans and soft whimpers on a loop by the both of you as the pleasure overtook all your senses. Bucky thrust through both of your orgasms, not stopping until you were both satisfied.

Your face was in the cushions as you tried to slow down your breathing. Bucky caressed your sides and peppered kisses all over your lower back. Praises being given to you for being such a good girl to him.

“You're so good to me, beautiful.”

He pulled out of your hole. The two of you hissing out as you both felt overly sensitive. Bucky helped to clean both of you up with a few wipes he kept on his desk. He made sure you were ok before he went over to the windows to grab his underwear and pants, pulling them on where he stood.

You put your skirt and sweater on and fixed yourself up as you sat and watched him get ready. God, he looked so handsome that it had your stomach burst out in butterflies. Now all you wanted was for him to hoist you up on his desk and take you hard against it. But you saw him have a look at his watch, his eyebrows furrowed together.

“The meetings in five.”

He came over to you just as you were getting up. You hissed out as your body felt sore and spent up, but good regardless.

“Are you ok? Did I do too much?”

That was Bucky for you. Always worried that he had gone overboard, but you always reassured him that you had enjoyed yourself.

His hands came to rest at the side of your face, looking you up and down to make sure you were all good. Your own hands went over his ones.

“Hey, I'm alright. Just a little sore, but you know I loved it, and I can handle it, Bucky.”

“I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I'm all good, babe, I swear.”

You took his face in your hands now as his ones traveled down to the small of your back so he could pull you flush against his body. His face leaned down some so he could capture your lips with his, giving you one of his sweetest kisses. His face moved down to suck and lick at the side of your neck in the most loving way.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” he reached into the pocket of his jacket to retrieve your panties, ”I believe these belong to you.” That cocky smile of his decorated his face as the panties dangled from his finger. Right. You had almost forgotten about those. “Thanks.” You took them and slid them up your legs.

“I wish you could stay longer. There are more surfaces in this office I would love to take you against.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he held you close. You would love nothing more than to stay here and let him have his way with you, but you knew that he needed to attend the meeting because if not, people would come knocking on his door, wondering where he is.

“I know, me too, but you know my dad is going to come knocking on the door and wonder where you are if you don't show up.”

“Yeah, I know. C'mon, I'll walk you out,”

He followed you to the elevator so he could say goodbye to you. A kiss and a hug were shared amongst you before the elevator dinged that it had arrived.

“We can meet later tonight if you want? Natalie is going out; God knows where, so we can stay at my place this time.” He asked you. “Whatever you want, just let me know, ok?” “I would like that, Bucky. I’ll let you know when.”

You stepped inside of it and pressed the button to go down. A smile on both of your faces as you gazed at each other the few seconds you had before the doors slid shut.

“I’ll miss you, doll.”

“I'll miss you more, Sir.”

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[irenedubrovna]

A post regarding Euphoria for the benefit of myself and basically no one else

So, it really bothers me when people say Euphoria is groundbreaking, progressive media. Here’s a dissection of why I don’t think it is, because this is what I feel like doing at work:

The character of Rue is objectively great. She by far receives the least overt sexualization, and is treated neutrally in terms of active sexuality. She’s treated like a normal teenage girl with mental issues and an addiction to drugs. She falls in love with a girl who she pines for and places on a pedestal. The reason I think she is written this way is because she is a Sam Levinson proxy. She written with gender ambiguity and with little regard to the experiences she’d go through as a black gay female, probably because Sam Levinson has no insight to that aspect of life. Her performance is heightened of course by Zendaya, who breathes unique life to the Sam Levinson’s artistic extension, and without her performance this show would not get even half the acclaim it gets. Attribute that to Zendaya of course, because the director has done little to deserve this acclaim.

The rest of the females, sans Lexi, are pornified to a disgusting extent, not only due to the fact that they are supposed to be underage, but also because their existence as people is treated as being absolutely secondary to their sexual appeal. They are foremost presented in terms of their relation to sex. Cassie, Maddy, Jules, and Kat cannot be removed from their sexuality without disrupting the plot or their journeys in relation to the plot. Why are the females so intrinsically linked to uber fetishized versions of female sexuality, or uber fetishized versions of blossoming female sexual identity?

Maddy is presented not only scantily clad 90 percent of the time, but also dressed in a precariously unattainable sexual fashion. At any given time she is styled to look straight out of, simultaneously, a high fashion editorial, and a “barely legal” porno. She is airheaded and profane, and promiscuous, her mannerisms dictated by the adult films she’s “studied” in order to project an image of perfect hyper sexual femininity. She’s complacent in becoming a prototypical housewife because it will earn her a comfortable place as a trophy wife. She has no aspirations beyond that. So, let’s unpack all of that. Maddy’s role in the show is mostly passive. The most active thing she does in the plot is revenge fuck a man in the pool of a party. Nearly everything else she does in the show that is plot relevant is of someone else’s volition. Even less of what she in the show is related to anything other than a man. She is abused and then pressured into framing another man for said abuse. She has no agency as a character. The only notable difference to this rule is when she takes drugs at a carnival, knocks a pot of chili over, and calls her ex’s mom a cunt. Removed from her active sexual life and carefully cultivated aesthetic, she’s a trite stereotype of an unambitious girlfriend who gets treated poorly. I see people call Maddy iconic, but if she wasn’t gorgeous and well dressed, I doubt anyone would even think twice about her, let alone create fancams and Instagram pages dedicated to her. She exists as a plot device, and as pretty set dressing to build up the shows aesthetic. Her emotions are not well explored, her motivations are sexist, and she is often there to be demeaned, objectified, or to say a bad word. The most damning part of her involvement in this show is her episode where it is stated that she, as a fourteen year old girl, lost her virginity to an adult man, and it is stated she was in control of the situation. This is a dangerous thing to say about a character, to any audience, but especially a young one. To imply that a precocious young girl was in control during her first sexual encounter with a much much older man implies things that frankly border on rape apologist ideology. This show states this unflinchingly and with no further elaboration. If there’s one thing that tells you that Euphoria is a bad show, let it be that. Also, if there’s one thing that tells you about Sam Levinson as a person, and the way he views girls and women, let it fucking be that.

Jules is a young trans girl. She also likes to have sex with men as a means to “conquer femininity”. Scratch that, she likes to have degrading sex with older men in order to “conquer femininity”. This mindset is shown to be toxic, of course, but I think the problem with this idea in general is that there’s no deeper exploration for what this mindset means. It implies that she believes women are the sum of their intrigue and degradations. This mindset I can only assume would be a cultivation of dysphoria and internalized misogyny, which this series is absolutely not prepared to address in a tactful manner. Jules is a teenager with mental illness, trauma, and is undergoing an identity crisis. There’s something powerful in her character, something worth saying, however we only get trimmings of those meaningful things, and are ultimately left with a hurtful depiction of a trans girl because all of her musings on womanhood and identity are incomplete, and they fail to reach beyond the surface of their thesis statement. She wears colorful clothing, is overtly feminine and artistic in her presentation. Everything about her screams insecurity over her own womanhood. That is the crux of her character. Now, I think we should ask ourselves, is trans person who is insecure about their identity peak representation? Is this what trans people deserve? Is it “groundbreaking “? If this show was run by someone else, I might be inclined to say that there’s nothing insidious about this, but this is the guy that made Assassination Nation, so I think we know what he thinks of young women, the way they should be portrayed (that is, for the capitulation of a man) and realize his inclusion of a trans woman in his cast is no more meaningful than the inclusion of any other woman. Women to him are made to be categorized and should, at the end of the day, be easily palatable for the capitulation of a man. The device of having Jules being interested in older men and rough sex for identity reasons is transparent. Trans women are exploited and objectified with a similar fervor to cis women, the caveat being that they are “a forbidden fruit” of sorts to straight men. Jules is sissified, her presentation fetishistic. Her role in the plot is more involved. Her relationship with Rue is sweet, though toxic on both sides. She is ultimately betrayed, blackmailed, and snowballs into something of a manic episode, all well portrayed by Hunter Schafer, but I don’t think her inclusion in the show absolves it of any of its many sins.

Let’s talk about Cassie. Cassie is the Eurocentric beauty standard exemplified. She is the blonde haired blue eyed girl next store, and her boobs are of course always on display. She is notably promiscuous, something I say right off the bat because that’s how she’s introduced, as a so called slut through the words of the devil (Nate Jacobs). She is a girl with daddy issues, which we are all familiar with at this point. Her sexual boundaries begin and end at the whim of her partner. The terms of her consent are much like the terms of consent of many young girls brainwashed by society and the rising tide of degradation porn: everything is alright as long as you provide them comfort and affirmation afterward. You can touch them roughly without asking, you can use them as a tool to affirm your masculinity. This is the way men prefer their women now: just broken enough to say yes to anything they want. It’s become a joke at this point. Men like girls with issues, but only the ones that will feed their own desires. Cassie Howard is meek. Her inclusion in the plot I suppose ties to themes of drug addiction and how it divides and destroys the people you love. It doesn’t show what it does to her beyond shaping her sexual encounters, which is no surprise. Overall I’d say Cassie is in this roster of females as the most traditional categorically, in relation to how men view women and further how they sexualize them. She has a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love her. That mostly what she does here. Gets used. Doesn’t drive the plot or conflict much. More pretty set dressing. More aesthetics. How this show consists of so many women but is driven so much by men is unsurprising, and, again, very enlightening in the grand scheme of things.

Lastly we touch on Kat. I’d like to begin with the fact that self actualization through sexual exploration, in a show run by a man, is just a cloak for a woman to gratify the audience with her sexuality. Regardless of whether or not she is plus sized, this is overt objectification. She is on this show to be sexy. Beyond that, the fact that a minor using sex work as a form of liberation is disgusting. Whether or not she is portrayed as “owning” her sexuality is negligible, and speaks to the same mindset discussed with Maddy. Minors cannot fucking consent to sex, sexual acts, or anything within the confines of such. It’s crazy that this occurs with two different characters in such a similar way. It has echoes of “Well, she looked older..” and “Well, she wanted it..” or “She’s advanced for her age”. Never, not once in the events of the series is there meaningful introspection on what doing this kind of thing does to a minor. Moreover, these acts are explicit, and made clearly for sexual gratification. None of these things are absolved by the fact that she’s plus sized. If anything, her body type is fetishized in this context. It’s also another case of a “good girl to bad girl” transformation, which are archaic and, of course, sexist. With the rise of adult websites targeting minors for explicit content, this is even more reprehensible. Once again, in terms of representation, is this really what speaks to you as progressive? Groundbreaking? A girl gains control of her own narrative by having sex with lots of men. She gains control by being sexy. She gains control by dehumanizing and objectifying herself. No she doesn’t. Media controlled by men will tell this story to you thousands of times, don’t listen because she’s bigger than a size four.

ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE UNDERAGE. ALL OF THEM HAVE EXPLICIT SEX SCENES, EVEN THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS MADE CINEMATICALLY PORNIFIED. THESE SHOTS ARE MADE TO BE OBJECTIVELY SEXY. THIS IS NOT A CASE OF SOMEONE CREATING SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF REALISM. IT IS ABOUT MAKING SCENES THAT SPEAK TO A MALE AUDIENCE. THAT CATER TO THE MALE GAZE. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I won’t go further into the plot, other characters, or the structure or the episodes for sake of brevity, but I felt compelled to air my thoughts on this to the void. I can only hope I was critical enough that Sam Levinson will one day see this and cry because another bad feminist thinks something that he made sucks

[livinglikearoyal]

K-drama Recommendations (May 2020)

Here is part two of my Kdrama recommendations, since my first one had such a positive response and I had a couple people ask for more. All of the dramas on this list can be found on Netflix US as of posting. These are all dramas I have watched since my last post in November...I have described why ten of them are amazing and listed a handful of others that are worth a shot as well. (I watch too much Netflix...my goodness)

These aren’t in any order based on how much I liked them; they are ordered based on the order I watched them. The ones listed in the honorable mentions list are dramas that either had a somewhat similar storyline to one of the ten that are explained or I just couldn’t find the words to describe them! Obviously, everyone has different tastes and perspectives when it comes to dramas...this is just my take! 

I am always looking for new dramas to watch! Send your suggestions and/or thoughts my way!

Suits (law, witty, drama)

Summary: Go Yeonwoo is a man wrapped up in some shady business, just trying to get by. When a deal goes bad, he finds himself seeking safety by blending in with the many applicants trying to join the top law firm in Korea, Kang & Ham. Although he isn’t a law student, his photographic memory and previous experience taking assessments for law students helps him impress the company’s ace: Attorney Choi. Go (illegally) becomes Choi’s apprentice and the series follows them as they figure out how they work together, how to save their company, and how to not get caught. Based on the American series of the same name. 

Why I liked it: I watched the American version of Suits as soon as it came out and followed it for several seasons. This Korean version is much more my speed. The storyline is complicated enough to keep your attention but not so complicated to make you stop watching. They took the key components of the American series and made them better: more realistic, less focused on sex appeal and more on the storyline, and you could really connect with the characters. It really hits on the ideas of integrity, truth, and empathy.

The K2 (action, romantic, political)

Summary: Kim Jeha is on the run in France. While trying to elude his captors, he runs into a woman in a white dressing gown and she begs for his help because she is also on the run. He is hesitant but ends up helping her escape her captor’s hold in the subway. She runs but is captured again on the street and he doesn’t help her a second time. Flash forward several years: Jeha is now appointed as bodyguard for the wife of a presidential candidate (she is terrifyingly powerful) and he is assigned to watch over the candidate’s illegitimate daughter, Anna. Anna is the girl from the subway. The series follows Jeha as he seeks revenge for all of the false accusations that have marred his past while also protecting Anna from the political corruption and previous trauma she has encountered. 

Why I liked it: This one took a second to get into. The way that the storyline is introduced is purposely chaotic. Once I got to the second or third episode, I really got into it. Each character is well developed: There were so many characters in this storyline and I empathized with most of them. Each character has their own motives and reasons behind their actions; they don’t do something just to fit their role as the “good guy” or “bad guy”. The dynamic between Jeha and Anna definitely had me yelling at my screen several times. The corruption and complications that come along with power is portrayed in such a powerful way. It is a show where you think you have it figured out but you don’t and as soon as you give up and stop trying to guess, something predictable happens. It keeps you on your feet while making you fall in love with its characters. 

Inheritors (romantic, teenage angst, social issues)

Summary: Kim Tan is in California after essentially being kicked out of Korea by his family, especially his older brother. One day he sees Cha Eunsang arguing with her sister after Eunsang traveled to the U.S. to see her only to find out that her sister lied and she has been using all of the money that their mother has sent for things less legal than an education. Tan sees that Eunsang is alone so he offers for her to stay at his home mansion. His fiancee (arranged) shows up and is not pleased to see Eunsang in the house so she does all she can to kick her out. Eunsang eventually returns to Korea to be with her mother, who has now moved into a mansion as their housekeeper. Tan also returns to try to smooth over his relationship with his family and he has to return to his old high school, where he  had previously set the standard for how privileged students rule the roost. His friend turned enemy is now the “alpha male”. The series follows Tan and Eunsang mostly; showing their varying perspectives on attending the same school but coming from completely different backgrounds and financial situations.. Even comparing Tan’s perspectives from his other “inheritor” peers or himself several years prior is really interesting.  It also shows their very different relationships with their families

Why I liked it: This show started out soooo cheesy. I remember commenting to my friend that I was watching this with-- I felt like I was watching a crossover between “Saved by the Bell” and a daytime soap opera. The American characters at the beginning are so stereotypical it was funny to see. Once the storyline got past the first few episodes and they were back in Korea, it really increased in quality-- both visually and written. This is another one that really allows you to connect to so many of the characters. I was constantly wanting to jump through my screen and just give the characters a hug (social distancing may have contributed a little too…).  By the end of it, you have nearly 10 or more characters that you are invested in and you really want to see them succeed. The ending can be a little frustrating if you are the type of person that wants everything (all the minor storylines) to be wrapped up in a little bow. The ending closes out the main storyline well but leaves the others very open ended. I will always be on the lookout for a sequel/spin off. Also, Eunsang is a girl that will tell it like it is...she doesn’t take BS from anyone...unless she wants to. She isn’t the stereotypical damsel in distress. Also...that “Love is the Moment” song will forever play in my head during ANY romantic scene in ANY show from now on. 

My Secret Romance (romantic, work place drama, comedy)

Summary: Jin Wook is a rich man getting ready to inherit the family company. The only thing standing in his way is the fact that his father doesn’t want him to take over until he is married. And the fact that he doesn’t take proper care of himself nutritionally, causing him to pass out. The company has recently hired a brand new dietitian, Yoo Mi, and Jin Wook’s assistant assigns her with the task of providing three healthy meals for their very picky boss. Yoo Mi, being brand new, is learning to be the head of a very opinionated kitchen staff while struggling to make food that is worth eating. Once Jin Wook and Yoo Mi meet, they realize that this isn’t their first encounter. As the series progresses, the two work on figuring out how to work together after their first meeting, what they feel for each other (especially considering that Jin Wook is expected to marry another woman), and how to work through their interesting family dynamics. 

Why I liked it: This is a show that really shows the effect of emotional baggage. Neither of the main characters have a “simple life” and it plays into their interactions daily. It is a cute show, an easy watch, nothing too complicated but definitely heartfelt. It is a good illustration of the different ways that people care for those around them too. There are definitely several complications that come along and they are realistic and well thought out. 

Tomorrow, With You (time travel, emotional, romantic)

Summary: Yoo Sojoon is the CEO of a very successful real estate firm. He ends up saving photographer Song Marin from being hit in an intersection and begins to try to get to know her. Little does she know, that Sojoon has been able to time travel using the subway ever since he narrowly avoided being in a major accident in that same subway tunnel. Sojoon is interested in Song Marin because he wants to save her, being encouraged by his mentor, a man that is also able to time travel in the same way as Sojoon. Sojoon encounters the many issues that come along with time travel and does all that he can to avoid the heartbreak that he sees when he travels to the future. 

Why I liked it: This one was interesting. All of the characters storylines are so tangled together and there are times when you can’t tell if we are seeing past Sojoon, present Sojoon, or future Sojoon. It feels like we are in that time travel web right along with them. It is definitely a heartfelt story that will have you in your feelings while making you think. Life is complicated, with and without time travel, and this shows that. 

Itaewon Class (Social issues, workplace politics, vengeance, family)

Summary: Park Saeroyi is a teenager that gets kicked out of his new school after punching the school bully and refusing to apologize. His father has recently purchased a building and is working to make his own restaurant after being let go from his position (the bully’s dad was his boss). As Mr. Park was making a delivery, he is a victim of a hit and run and passes away. Saeroyi finds out that the bully was the one driving the other car and attacks him, landing Saeroyi in prison for several years. Upon release, Saeroyi sets out to begin his plan to take revenge on the bully and his family for all that they have done. Saeroyi’s goal: Become the #1 restaurant business, overthrowing that family’s company. The show follows Saeroyi as he puts his plan into action and tries to go from the bottom of the totem pole to the top. 

Why I liked it: I loved this drama! I’m not sure whether it was the storyline, the diverse characters, or the main character himself. The irony of so many things had me falling in love with Saeroyi’s plan and Saeroyi’s character was so...wholesome. I definitely yelled at my screen several times, especially during the last handful of episodes. The characters (at least those that work closely with Saeroyi) are so easy to love. Even those that aren’t the easiest to love, you still root for them. Now, the bad guys are the bad guys and they stay bad but you can see their motivations...not always making the pill any easier to swallow. It is definitely a drama I would recommend to everyone, whether they like foreign dramas or not. The storyline is good, the acting is wonderful, and it tugs at your heartstrings. 

My Holo Love (action, romance, emotional, sci-fi)

Summary: Soyeon has lived a very solitary life due the fact that she has a face blindness disorder where she can’t recognize the differences in individual’s faces. This all stems from a childhood trauma. By chance (or not), she ends up with a pair of high tech prototype glasses that allows her to interact with the AI program that is installed, named Holo. He is meant to be a sort of personal assistant and only the person wearing the glasses can see and hear him. Holo helps Soyeon throughout her daily life, explaining who people are as they walk up to Soyeon so she can identify them and taking on the role of love coach. They become quite attached to each other, emotionally. They both realize the limits though, considering one is a human and one is a hologram. Holo is the spitting image of his creator, Nan Do...a man that the world thinks is dead. He is not. There are many people looking for him and his glasses. This causes him to become well acquainted with Soyeon.

Why I liked it: This one is cute. It is relatively short too...only 12 or so episodes compared to other series that have 20+. It was really interesting to see Soyeon’s relationship with Holo vs. Nando, but a good sort of interesting. The pacing was good and I really became invested in these three main characters. The ending is bittersweet (leaning more toward the sweet side) and how they get there is complicated, sometimes messy, but very intriguing. Definitely a good show to watch if you are wanting to watch something a little out of the ordinary while also seeing most kdrama troupes represented. 

Chocolate (medical, romantic, angst, tearjerker)

Summary: The show begins in a small restaurant on the pier of a tiny town. Lee Kang’s mother is the owner and he loves helping around the business and watching her make the meals. He sees a young girl outside that is alone and hungry. He puts his skills to use (mind you, he is young...like 10 years old), and makes a full spread for this girl. He promises to make her a chocolate dessert later on if she returns. He makes it, but she never comes back (it was out of her hands). Fast forward to when these kids are adults. Lee Kang was taken in by his father’s family (who disproved of his mother) and groomed to become the top neurosurgeon at the family’s hospital. The young girl, Moon Chayoung, is now a chef and dating Kang’s best friend. They encounter each other another time in Greece when Kang searches for her to come back to Korea to make a final meal for his best friend who has failing health.  Kang and Chayoung end up in a car accident that changes both of their futures and makes everything even more complicated but also provides some reminders about what is really important. 

Why I liked it: Good lord, did I cry with this one! Nearly every episode had me in tears: both happy and sad. It is so sweet and sad. Just...ahhh. It is bittersweet like dark chocolate. Even looking back at the episode summaries on Netflix has me feeling some kind of way. I texted my friend after nearly episode just to vent about why I was crying. These characters are so relatable and my heart broke for them so many times while also celebrating for them. The cast is amazing and the storyline really makes you think about what you have and how you should value those around you while you have them around. I will definitely rewatch this when I need to be lost in my emotions. This is a drama that I don’t know why more people aren’t talking about it. I absolutely loved it.

Crash Landing on You (realistic drama, romantic)

Summary: Yun Seri, a South Korean heiress, find herself stuck in a tree on the north side of the Korean DMZ after a paragliding incident and a freak tornado. Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and hides her in his home, with the help of his troop of North Korean soldiers. He is not a fan of hers and is looking for ways to get her back to South Korea without raising suspicion. His fiance returns from being abroad after years and throws a wrench in the plan as he had been introducing Seri as his fiance to decrease the suspicion of the neighbors. Seri is getting used to life in North Korea. Several issues arise as they try to get Seri back to the south and these complications bring them even closer together. 

Why I liked it: This one is sweet. Nothing too emotional or heart wrenching. It is interesting to see how they portray the differences between the two countries and how important our relationships with others are, no matter what the government is like. The storyline isn’t rushed or forced and I really appreciated that. It seemed like events unfolded naturally. The characters are loveable and you find yourself wanting to be a part of their “squad”. Some characters redeem themselves, others don’t. Some characters get the ending they deserve, others don’t. The ending isn’t exactly what the viewer (or at least what I) hoped for, but it is more of a realistic ending and I appreciate that. 

Cinderella and the Four Knights (angst, romantic, dramedy)

Summary: Hawon is a high school student that is working multiple jobs. Her step-family is nasty toward her and her father is on the road most of the time. She shows her spunk when she speaks up against some men at a club that are jerks when she delivers food. Hyunmin is one of three heirs for his family’s business and fortune. He sees Hawon’s spunk and offers her a fair amount of money for her to play the role of his fiancee at his grandfather’s latest marriage ceremony. She doesn’t realize what she is in for. When she stands up for herself at the wedding, she grabs the grandfather’s attention. He ends up hiring her to live with his four grandsons to “whip them into shape” and gives her missions to complete, essentially trying to get the grandsons to interact with each other as they each live their own separate lives and don’t like each other.  Hyunmin is the eldest cousin and is the “arrogant playboy”. Jiwoon is the middle cousin and is the most withdrawn; he was an orphan and was thrown into this affluent role overnight...leading him to portray himself as wild and rebellious. Seowoo is the youngest cousin and he is a popular singer and is a sweetheart. The fourth knight is the secretary of Chairman Kang, Lee Yoonsung, and he is the bodyguard for Hawon and the three cousins. 

Why I liked it: This one is complicated in the best way possible. It definitely hits on many of the stereotypical Kdrama troupes. You fall in love with all of the the main characters, even the chairman (a role that typically is the bad guy). The relationships are complicated, the characters are lovable, and the main female character has a backbone. Throughout the show, I couldn’t decide which “knight” I wanted Hawon to end up with. The writers did a great job at portraying each of the characters in an equal but unique light to allow the viewers to see them for who they are. The storyline is complicated but simple at the same time. I will definitely rewatch “Cinderella and the Four Knights” again. 

Honorable Mentions: 

Cheese in the Trap

Man to Man

Because this is my First Love

The Lies Within

The Bride of Haebaek

The Legend of the Blue Sea

[acloudkat]

Gossip Girl 2.0

So. . . I was unsure of whether I was going to talk about this or not but… in the end, here we are!

I shall be talking about the Gossip Girl Reboot.

Now quick disclaimer and mild *excuse you* to HBO, please find ways to make your content accessible to Europe because there are those of us that are interested and unfortunately your "Max" service is US only and honestly i see no reasonable logic behind it. Therefore my means of getting access to this content shall not be discussed.

Extra disclaimer, there will be spoilers. Doi.

Now I am a big die hard fan of the original GG series and despite the outdated (to today’s standards) comparisons and slang, some of the topics hold up even today. For anyone curious or questioning my opinion, based on my generation, I am mildly in the middle as a Zelenial at 23. I did not grow up with GG, I learned about it when I was 14 but watched it for the first time when I was 19. Since, I have watched it up to 14-17 times; more than 10 for sure. So you can do with that as you please. The main reason I mention this is due to some articles and comments pointing out that maybe it’s a “Gen Z only media” or that “Millennials are just bitter cause it’s not theirs”. Keeping that in mind I will be as per usual showing the ups and downs of the show (so far and later on) from my own personal perspective.

After watching ep 1. (& now 2 which will be in a separate post after this) I have a few questions, comments AND concerns. So let’s get into those shall we :)

So let's do a little round up of our characters.

We have newcomer Zoya Lott that is moving to NYC on a Constance scholarship! But little did anyone in the show know, it was all a plot to get to be with her *half sister*. WHAT?! So the tldl on that is that Zoya and our other main character, Julien Calloway, share a mom! Mom, that i quote "left Julien's dad for Zoya's dad and the dads hate each other" because of which hate, they had absolutely forbidden their daughters from communicating. One thing led to another, a friend request was sent and this is basically the parent trap. . . . but for the kids. . .and they're aware of it cause they made it. . . I suppose? The parents haven't really been mentioned to matter in their plan, however, they do keep bringing up their middle names as "Zoya Jane and Julien Elizabeth" as clues left by their mother? Now some rumours around the web have connected the names to the Pride and Prejudice novels and while that would be extremely Gossip Girl-esque to do, and I am entirely up for that, hell yea!!! I'm wondering if it's as simple as... their mother's name was Elizabeth Jane... but maybe GG will be the one to discover that secret first? Other than that, Zoya is very much a very trusting "innocent type" character that probably has more past than we know about so it will be quite interesting to see how that elaborates going further into the series.

Then there is self-made influencer Julien Calloway. She is the new version of queen at Constance but as stated, they "don't do the patriarchy anymore". While she appears all smiles and kindness, personally i feel as if JC is kind of fake? She has things she cares about yes, but the moment someone or something interferes with her followers and her social standing or Obie (more on him later)

"the gloves come off and the claws come out" - Serena Van der Woodsen

When it comes to Julien I am honestly more curious to see who she is once you take away the followers and the media. Will she be an actual person or just a shallow obsessed spoiled brat? I just hope it won't be the typical story of "have to be perfect and have to have everyone like me because my mom left" ie. has mommy issues. That is how that cliche goes after all. So I am greatly hoping that's not going to be it for this one.

Obie Bergmann! We get introduced to Obie as Julien's boyfriend. Throughout ep 1, the things we learn about Obie are that he is basically the richest in the group, and lives in Dumbo. (irony from original GG for anyone that can guess it). He appears like a super nice and kind dude, a supportive boyfriend, kind of bland and tired of the relationship but the main thing that bothers me about him so far is his impossible to ignore "white guilt syndrome". For anyone unaware, "white guilt" is "remorse or shame felt by a white person with respect to racial inequality and injustice". While it's not a bad thing trying to make up for the in-equality in the world, here's hoping that's not his entire character cus that would get old quick.

Then we have the bestie, Audrey Hope. Audrey. . . is cold but to the point. Very analysing and observing. Definitely the type of character that would take all the info first and decide what to do after. I both like and am confused by her? Her cold mannerisms are quite enjoyable among the masses of drama and emotion I won't lie. However, i do predict a juicy threesome between her, boyfriend Aki and one Max Wolfe. Honestly, I am highly interested in how their relationship evolves.

Aki Menzies is kind of a mystery as of the moment. As to be expected with just 1 episode, we won't know too much about all the characters. He is the very supportive boyfriend that tries to keep the peace between everyone.

Max Wolfe on the other hand appears like the much more flamboyant version of Chuck Bass, if Chuck Bass had a supportive family environment and no limits on who he's dating. That's more or less for him but kuddos for his 0 hesitation to basically have a pic of his dick sent to everyone. I will never not find that hilarious. But again, between these three is my prediction for some juicy interactions. Cause to be fully honest, the chemistry is undeniable.

Monet de Haan. Ah. She is honestly the savage that we need around here. She is the control and the power behind Julien's brand honestly. I am curious how come she helps Julien with her brand rather than have her own? If we go off anything said in the episode, she is more feared than adored so maybe that's why? But Monet honey, fear can also have a following, just . . a different one.

And then there's Luna La, "The stylist" while we don't know much about her, some of her one liners are actively giving me life. Her and Monet are definitely a package deal and i wonder if there is juicier gossip there that we don't know yet.

Lastly, we have our new Gossip Girl. Young teacher, Kate Keller. I won't lie, i did not see us knowing who GG is from the get go. I am however wondering whether this will drag her down to the level of highschoolers (besides the fact that she looks younger than some of them xD) Something that is bothering me in the reboot however, is that technically, characters that represent adults, spying on minors??? Like they even make the point that "i shouldn't have these, i should be in jail" in regards to having almost naked pictures of the kids. Like it's not really okay??? In the original yea no one knew who GG was but they always knew it was someone their age. The teachers didn't care at those times. But they do now and I am not fully sure how okay it is.

And of course, the extras like some of the other teachers behind GG and the parents. We however, don't know too much about them as of now so we shall see soon. If any new characters are introduced they will be addressed but for now, onto the episode!

The half sisters plot is definitely interesting so I would love to know where the whole middle names thing will go. The story line I'm most interested in at the moment however is between Audrey, Max and Aki. I want to see that unwind into something horrendous but then beautiful! It has so much potential in my opinion. In terms of character development however i want to see who Julien is without all of her fame and followers. When the focus is not the media and the attention. I want to see that Julien.

The first episode definitely introduced us to a lot of things at once so far that is my take on them. I'm sure that in the future both the teachers and parents will be a bigger part but one thing is abundantly clear. Unlike the OGGG, there won't be more than maybe 2-3 seasons depending on the ages of the students. The teachers won't follow them onto college will they? Or will things drastically change along the way? It was rather amusing seeing them talk about all the old characters however, and reference the OG Gossip Girl. I am vaguely offended that they categorised twitter as "a glorified chatroom for memes for people over 30". Like dude. . . that hit me hard. I am happy that FB was never even mentioned as existing tho! Cause let's be honest that is not the "hip" thing anymore. But the rules they put down at the party definitely made my head spin. Had to listen to them twice to even get what was happening.

But that's probably enough of me babbling on about this xD If you want to find this on an apparently dying type of media, here's my blog post about it as well lol: https://acloudkat.wordpress.com/?p=960

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

There is an special kind of character that I don’t particularly dislike, but find annoying how their own media (and sometimes, the fans) interpret and stan them and attack like rabbid dogs anyone who disagrees.

These characters are normal, they have their strengths, and they have their flaws… but the narrative and other characters only see their strengths and outright refuse to see their flaws, more often than not blaming other characters for their shortcomings, or outright making them be right all the time.

I refuse to tag this as salt, but if you like or “stan” any of these characters, be warned: Mabel Pines (From Gravity Falls), Taranee Cook (From W.i.t.c.h.), Adrien Agreste (From Miraculous Ladybug), Alya Cesaire (Also from Miraculous) and special mentions of Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Also Miraculous) and Tony Stark.

Mabel Pines is incredibly self-centered, to the point that even Bill Cypher, the big bad of the show points it out several times and weaponizes it, almost creating an Apocalypse. No, I’m not going to blame Mabel for it, but the show goes out of its way to make Mabel blameless.

She is always mocking Dipper for anything and everything, she manipulates him and abuses his good will, not to mention she invades his privacy and boundaries every time she can, not to mention she also somehow holds him to much higher standards to what she does herself. (We are told Dipper mocks her as much, but we never actually see this)

She tries to force him to confess to Wendy

She snoops into his stuff, and steals the Diary at least once (One of the times Bill pointed out her being a jerkass)

When Candy develops a crush on Dipper, she calls him out for flirting with other girls… but she has been flirting with a lot of boys all summer, and Dipper wasn’t in any kind of relationship with Candy.

She basically drugs Robbie and Tambry into loving each other, stealing from a god in the process, and in the end decides to keep them drugged.

She guiltrips Dipper into not accepting an internship with their uncle

The last Mabelcorn kind of addresses this… but since Celestabellebethabelle turned out to be a jerkass herself, the whole point is soon forgotten. She is never called out again for any of these, and is outright treated like the most moral character of the show

 Taranee Cook… is, admittedly, a result of bad writing and the writers just outright not knowing what to do with her character. She starts as the “Smart Girl” of the group, with an interest in photography and African culture… but that is forgotten after the first saga. She “rediscovers” a passion for dancing and emotionally cheats on her boyfriend before breaking up with him, and from that point out, she has a new love interest every other issue. They are always treated like the love of her life. And just to point out more of the “the writers don’t know what to do with her” in an issue where they see their futures, she ends up being an Olympic runner. Despite having zero interest on it… But anyway, that’s not that this rant is about.

One issue has a B plot of the girls and their boys (some boyfriends, some friends of them) going to the beach to enjoy a meteor shower (I think that’s what is called? I read the issue in Spanish) and the boys, Hay Lin and Irma go overboad, buying a LOT of unnecessary things, while Taranee protests (mind you, the boys were paying the most of the things. Will and Cornelia were not involved in the buying). With Taranee, being the smart girl and the most level headed of the girls, one would think that she would convince the others to just get the completely necessary and not waste money with some rousing speech… but no, she gets her way by melting the tires of her brother’s car into the asphalt, making them unable to carry their stuff, and forcing them to just go with the most essential stuff. You would think the girls would be furious with her, or that someone would point out that the tires and the asphalt would be pretty pricey… but no, they thank her for the vandalism and say she was right all along.

Another issue has a new boy moving to the house next door to Taranee, who ends up being the son of a teacher who they later think is suspicious (which is kind of fair. They face shit like aliens and monsters posing as normal people fairly regularly). Taranee, again, treats him as his one true love and offers to befriend him to spy on them.  The previous day, she thought that they were soulmates because she saw him practicing violin, reading a book and eating ethnic food… through the closed windows. She stalked him. And then, after “befriending” him, she realizes the “violin” was actually a weird contraption to work out (To be fair, it does have the silhouette of a violin, but how she didn’t notice the lack of sound is not addressed), the book was the menu of a restaurant and the “ethnic food” was actually a hot dog. And then she proceeds to insult him to his back calling him a bonehead. Again, she wanted to bone him because she was stalking him and got the wrong idea. The guy is portrayed as very friendly, and attaches quickly to the girls, who find him annoying… y’know, I was expecting them to introduce them to their male friends, but no, the issue with him is unresolved, they explain why his dad was acting suspicious, and they never ever appear again, and Taranee get a new love interest. No one ever calls her out for her stalking.

Adrien Agreste and Alya… well, I have talk about them a lot in here, but their major sins:

Adrien:

Lies about his relationship with Ladybug, which gets a guy akumatized. Lies to Ladybug and blames her for the akumatization. Ladybug apologizes.

Throws a temper tantrum while Paris is getting flooded by an akuma. People are actively drowning and all he essentially blackmails his kwami into giving him information. No one calls him out on this, and he gets what he wants (To meet the guardian)

Throws another temper tantrum when Ladybug says she has plans with friends and will not be able to attend his dinner. Note that they share the same friends and he ditched them for this date.

Constantly forgives Chloe and Lila of every they do to everyone else, but the moment he is affect by his cousin, he calls him a friendless jerk.

This is unclear, but the implication is that he never liked Kagami as a love interest, but let himself be her boyfriend. The moment they break up he tricks Ladybug into watching a romantic movie.

Despite using the Ladybug Miraculous and learning that the holder of that Miraculous holds a greater responsibility that the holder of the Black Cat, and can’t allow themselves to fail, he constantly goofs off while fighting, and tries to flirts with Ladybug, which only distract her. And that’s without mentioning all the times he sacrifices himself, which sometimes leaves Ladybug to do all the job on her own, and sometimes makes him an enemy.

Alya is not that bad, but again, she’s never called out when she screws up. Chameleon is infamous for that. Reflekdoll has her ditching Juleka and making Marinette the model, yet Marinette is the one blamed for that. She reveals that Marinette like Adrien, despite Marinette asking her not to. She equally mocks and support Marinette crush on Adrien. She has pushed Marinette to confess to Adrien, despite her telling her several times she was not ready (And in the NY special that she was trying to get over him)

 Marinette and Tony Stark are special mentions because while some of their flaws are pointed out, others are overlooked or even praised.

Marinette stalks Adrien like a crazy fan, but to be fair, is very inconsistent and the product of bad writing. She has stolen his phone, following him when he’s with another girl, tried to kiss what she thought was his wax statue (and stole a lock of hair), has his schedule written down (It is implied it’s the schedules of everyone in class, but still…), smells his pillow, crashes a party dressed as a guy, and outright follows him to another country. The series somehow blames her for a lot of things that other characters do or say, but somehow overlooks this stalking, and oftentimes plays it for laughs (To humiliate her, but still)

Tony has a lot of issues, and sometimes they are the center of the conflicts (Iron Man 2 and 3 play with this) but sometimes overlook his treatment of other characters. He treats Wanda like a weapon and abuses Peter like there’s no tomorrow, and yet, people, and Peter himself act as if he was a great mentor. The fact that he is directly to blame for the Vulture and Mysteryo is never addressed either.

 And the opposite is also true. Sometimes, we get a villain that actually doesn’t do anything wrong, yet the narrative and the other characters treat them as the worst.

Trixie from My Little Pony fits that bill. Her debut episode has her putting a show in ponyville (Mind you, this is a universe were everyone can do magic. Being a stage magician is hard). Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity proceed to heckle her and calling her out on her boasting. She humiliates them after they try to humiliate her at her own show. Two kids end up provoking a Ursa Minor (A giant ass bear made of stars) because she boasted about defeating one. End result? She ends up losing her cart, which means she lost her home and employment in one night, not to mention she basically was ran out of the town. She is treated like a villain and it takes several seasons for the show to rectify this.  

[ragazza-paradiso]

my eurovision 2021 ranking (before rehearsals)

hey!! 🤍 i’ll try to keep this short & sweet (and bear in mind some of these are subject to change & depend on my mood) but this is my rough ranking of this year’s entries based solely on the studio cuts <3

dislike:

39. 🇩🇪 jendrik - i don’t feel hate: i knew this would be my last place since i first heard it. he seems like a nice guy but this type of music is just. not for me? in fact i don’t think i’ve ever even managed to make it all the way through since my first listen :/

38. 🇱🇻 samanta tina - the moon is rising: i love love LOVE samanta & think she is an absolute gem but this song & me simply do not go together. that being said i appreciate both her voice & the message

37. 🇵🇱 rafał - the ride: while this is slightly catchy & seems to be an ear worm for me, i cannot take this song seriously. rafał looks ridiculous in those sunglasses in the music video. the lyrics are awful too

neither like nor dislike:

36. 🇦🇱 anxhela peristeri - karma: this is very strange because usually i am the no. 1 fan of ethnic influenced ballads at eurovision, but i just do not get this one. i can definitely see the appeal but it’s not for me

35. 🇲🇰 vasil - here i stand: i think his voice is great however the song doesn’t do much for me. i find it quite forgettable & think he was definitely capable of giving us something better which is a shame

34. 🇫🇮 blind channel - dark side: i enjoyed this quite a bit when it first came out but it’s quickly slid down my ratings. the lyrics are too edgy for me & it’s a throwback to a genre of music that i don’t really enjoy anyway. but i can appreciate that it sticks out & does something different

33. 🇨🇿 benny cristo - omaga: i was a massive fan of kemama last year & while i liked this upon first listen, i have to say its far too generic to really stick out after a while. plus some of the lyrics are a bit creepy lol. having said that i think seeing him perform it live could definitely change my opinion

32. 🇸🇪 tusse - voices: another year, another generic well produced pop song from sweden. should we be surprised anymore? it’s okay, i don’t hate it, but i’m struggling to find anything i like about it. plus the lyrics are the most “eurovision cliche lyrics” i’ve ever heard

31. 🇬🇧 james newman - embers: okay while this is ranked relatively low, i have to say this is better than anything we’ve sent since 2017. it’s a nice song, i enjoy it when it’s on, but i don’t have an urge to play it, if that makes sense?

30. 🇲🇹 destiny - je me casse: i know this is probably blasphemy but i just do not understand the hype around this song. destiny has a great voice but i don’t see how this song sticks out in anyway that it’s the favourite to win? it’s another one that i won’t skip but i won’t seek out to listen to

29. 🇦🇹 vincent bueno - amen: i do enjoy this, but i wish it just had a bit more oomph. the lyrics for the verses are good but the chorus is just lacking something. i do think this could be a dark horse to qualify though

28. 🇸🇮 ana soklič - amen: i just realised the two amens are right next to each other on my ranking lol. anyway, this is only so high because of her amazing voice. the song doesn’t really do anything for me, but you have to appreciate that level of talent

27. 🇺🇦 go_a - shum: this is one i know i’ll appreciate more live, but i just can’t get into the studio version. plus i really liked solovey last year so this one seems worse in comparison

26. 🇲🇩 natalia gordienko - sugar: this is good but i think all “dream team” songs are a little bit dated nowadays. however saying that i love the music video & moldova always improve live

25. 🇵🇹 the black mamba - love is on my side: this has been a big grower. it’s not a favourite, but i think it definitely has its niche, and i can appreciate that

24. 🇳🇱 jeangu macrooy - birth of a new age: grow was in my top 5 last year, so it was always gonna be hard for jeangu to deliver something as good. this has grown on me, but i’m still not 100% on board

like:

23. 🇳🇴 tix - fallen angel: i didn’t like this at first because i was so heartbroken that keiino didn’t win the national selection, but i’ve gotten over it now lol. it’s cheesy but in a good way, i think this act doesn’t take itself too seriously either which makes it more enjoyable

22. 🇸🇲 senhit ft flo rida - adrenalina: it’s fun, catchy, even has a surprise verse from flo rida! probably san marino’s 3rd best entry ever (justice for complice & crisalide 💔)

21. 🇨🇾 elena tsagrinou - el diablo: it’s just a very good pop song. i’m not in love with it but it’s of a very good quality (well. apart from the lyrics). i’m sure the staging will improve it even more

20. 🇬🇷 stefania - super girl: greece is one of my biggest growers from last year, i think this is a MUCH better song than supergirl was. i’m really rooting for stefania

19. 🇪🇪 uku suviste - the lucky one: this has been such a big grower, it’s insane. i can recognise it’s not the best song but i just really like it for some reason.

18. 🇪🇸 blas cantó - voy a quedarme: i’m a sucker for native language ballads, and this is a pretty standard one, but it’s good to me. blas seems like a real sweetheart too, which helps :)

17. 🇨🇭 gjon’s tears - tout l’univers: this is another one of those songs that i really should love, and while i like it, i can’t really connect with it. gjon’s entry last year was my second favourite, and unfortunately this doesn’t scratch the same itch that did, it’s still a very good song & i completely understand why it’s one of the favourites to win

16. 🇧🇪 hooverphonic - the wrong place: i really don’t like hooverphonic as a band (actually it’s mostly alex callier that i dislike) but this is just a good song. i am still upset that luka didn’t get to go to eurovision though :/

15. 🇮🇪 lesley roy - maps: another massive grower! i much prefer this to her song last year. i really hope ireland can get their shit together & give this song the staging it deserves

14. 🇦🇿 efendi - mata hari: this is basically a carbon copy of cleopatra, and i guess i liked that so i like this. however i will say it has dropped in my ranking a bit. i’m ranking this solely on the song, efendi herself is a different matter & i’m not really educated enough on what’s happening in azerbaijan/armenia to comment but from what i’ve seen it’s not the best, let’s say

13. 🇱🇹 the roop - discoteque: i prefer on fire from last year, but this is definitely not a bad effort. i can’t see it as a contender for the win though. another one i will probably enjoy much more live

12. 🇷🇴 roxen - amnesia: i really like the message of this song. i just wish she would work on her english pronunciation, but that’s a minor complaint. but i really like roxen as an artist

love:

11. 🇷🇸 hurricane - loco loco: i love girl groups, and this is no exception. vocally they’re really good, i love that it’s in serbian, & i also just really love sanja vučić lol

10. 🇭🇷 albina - tick tock: i wish this was fully in croatian, but i think it’s a great song regardless. i loved her performance at dora so hopefully they’ll do something similar/even better at esc

9. 🇧🇬 victoria - growing up is getting old: i preferred tears getting sober from last year but this is still really good. the lyrics are some of my favourite of this year, they really resonate with me. victoria is a really interesting artist & i’m really glad she got introduced to me through esc

8. 🇮🇱 eden alene - set me free: the revamp has made this move like 20 places up in my ranking lol. she is so talented & i just hope they have a good staging concept!

7. 🇮🇸 daði og gagnamagnið - 10 years: think about things was good but i think this is even better! i love the retro influences & the lyrics are so sweet

6. 🇬🇪 tornike kipiani - you: i might be one of the only people who adores this song. the lyrics paint such a clear picture of a simple, strong love. and i think it’s quiet but powerful at the right moments. i know i will be heartbroken when this doesn’t qualify :(

5. 🇫🇷 barbara pravi - voilà: i played this too much & ruined it for myself, but i love it again now. very authentically french but without overdoing it (cough 2017 staging cough), just a beautiful song

4. 🇮🇹 måneskin - zitti e buoni: i’m not a massive rock fan, but a song like this i just vibe with. it’s just so good. italy is always either my no. 1 or in my top 5 since they returned (apart from 2012 & 2014) and they’ve done it again. this is definitely a contender to win

3. 🇦🇺 montaigne - technicolour: this song is eclectic but i love it. i didn’t like don’t break me, but this is so much better, and so much more authentic to montaigne as an artist. i know it’s divisive, but i’m on the side that loves it

2. 🇩🇰 fyr og flamme - øve os på hinanden: this is just so fun. i love the 80s vibe, the performance at the national selection was simple but still very engaging. this is one i will play for many years after the contest

1. 🇷🇺 manizha - russian woman: where do i even start. native language, ethnic influenced sound, important message, charismatic performer. this song is amazing. and i’m so glad i’ve found manizha to listen to!

so that’s it!! if anyone wants to chat about their thoughts please message me!! 🤍

[knifeonmars]

Capsule Reviews April 2021

A few of the things that I've been reading over the past couple of months. I surprised myself when I noticed that most of these were indie books, but that's probably because all of my needs for big dumb superhero comics are currently being more or less covered by the material I'm reading for my podcast, Regarding Spawn. Anyway, here's some review.

Grenade by Will Kirkby

Grenade is in many ways an art showcase, a vibrant little volume centered on a world somewhat along the lines of Shadowrun, a cyberpunk setting with fantasy elements. The story focuses on a main character somewhat typical for the cyberpunk genre, a traumatized transhuman war veteran turned cop, haunted by their memories as they are drawn into a web of conspiracy tracing back to their wartime experiences. The story is hardly surprising, but this is a book that you read for the texture, not the plot. Grenade is gorgeous, jam packed with detail in the maximalist tradition of artists like Geoff Darrow but with an angular, punk edge, and the world building and concepts are all fun and have great hooks. There are certain ideas introduced at tossed aside that I wished to see a bit more of, but overall it's a very satisfying cyberpunk flavoured romp that would be well worth it for the art alone.

Home Time Vols. 1-2 by Campbell Whyte

Stand By Me by way of Over the Garden Wall, if put in reductive terms, I picked up the conclusion to Campbell Whyte's stellar first volume of the series and recently had the chance to read them back to back. They're excellent, maybe some of the best comics I've read this year, stellar YA material with a bold, experimental style and great storytelling. Centering on four friends about to graduate from middle school and go their separate way, the characters are suddenly caught up in a strange fantasy world with no way back home and the story focuses on how they cope with this as they gradually learn more about the world. The kids all feel like kids (or at least how I remember being a kid), the worldbuilding is really unique and off-kilter, fleshed out by loads of journal inserts ranging from photos to diary entries, to a handmade encyclopedia right out of Gravity Falls. The art is stellar, sticking to a general cartoon-y aesthetic but jumping back and forth through various styles of coloring and rendering with each viewpoint character, including sections rendered in a pixelated style which evokes a great deal of nostalgia for me as someone who grew up reading sprite-based webcomics. Some of the plot beats might not surprise you, but others probably will, and I can't recommend checking this out enough.

The Grot by Pat Grant

Another Australian book, not that I've been on a kick or anything. The Grot is quite excellent, a sort of "low post-apocalyptic" story set in a world littered with the detritus of our own. The world building is a treat, lived in and recognizably plausible but strange; cars and boats are powered by low wage laborers on pedals, electricity and running water are unheard of, cholera runs rampant, and anyone and everyone is partaking in an algae-based gold rush. The Grot is very much a gold rush story, and indeed about the biggest criticism I could make about it is that it could just as easily be set in any given historical gold rush with little effect on the narrative, the conceit of a post-lapsarian world is hardly taken advantage of, but then perhaps that's the point, "the more things change, the more they stay the same" and all that. The story itself is a classic one of ambition and confidence games, following two young brothers who arrive in a boom town with plans to be the only ones not getting suckered. The artwork and colors are vibrant and distinct, a loose, cartoonist's touch which nevertheless manages to make everything look distinctly real and absolutely filthy. Everyone is ugly and dirty, dressed in distinct clothes, cutting distinct profiles, looking real and alive, even if Grant doesn't pursue a photorealistic style. I'd recommend it for those looking for something different from the standard action oriented fair coming out from most major American publishers, but not sold on art comics. The Grot is a great read packed with story and personality.

Sazan and Comet Girl by Yuriko Akase

Coming out in 2018, right in the meat of Wife Guy culture, and preceding the rise of himbos by two years, Sazan and Comet Girl is a book well suited to the moment. It's about a nice, not entirely bright young man pursuing a Cool Girl across the stars as they fall in love. It's also, in fairness, Sazan and Manic Pixie Dream Girl in some ways, though it holds off the worst of that genre by characterizing Sazan primarily through the lens of sincere enthusiasm and support for his much cooler, more powerful love interest. It's a distinctly fun, peppy book, that's really gorgeously rendered, with full lush water colours on every page and a design sensibility firmly in line with retro-anime. It's not entirely without points to criticize, the titular Comet Girl spends the entire book rarely wearing more than bra and a pair of brave Daisy Dukes, and the trick employed throughout the final sequence of the book, which takes up the entire back half (the pacing is also a touch off) to get the whole universe cheering for the heroes is a little cheap. But overall Sazan and Comet Girl is really charming, it's cute, incredible to look at, just a little horny, and a fun adventure. I heartily recommend it.

PTSD by Guillaume Singelin

I'd had this sitting in my To-Read pile because I wanted to take some time between reading Grenade and this book, since there are quite a few superficial similarities between the two: they're both sci-fi adjacent, they both star traumatized veterans, both are lushly rendered by indie cartoonists, so reading them back to back would have felt like a disservice. For the record, they're ultimately not similar at all. PTSD is the story of Jun, a traumatized war veteran living on the streets of an unidentified city, pushing away all attempts at help or community as she slowly spirals downward, killing drug dealers to fuel her addiction to pain pills. One thing that stands out to me about PTSD tonally and about its main character is that it's willing to let Jun be really unpleasant in a meaningful way. Jun isn't an "asshole" because she's too much of a hard drinkin', hard fuckin' badass, she's an asshole because she's so deeply traumatized that she lashes out verbally and physically at anyone who comes near her. It feels unglamourous and real in a really enjoyable way.The art is also a revelation, it doesn't quite cross the line into Geoff-Darrow-insired visual maximalism, but every panel and ever inch of the pages are packed with lovingly rendered detail. Singelin's drawing style tends more towards cartooning than pseudo-realism, in a way that makes the charming moments utterly charming and the brutal moments appropriately shocking. I have some minor issues with the ending, the story kind of cuts out without really delving into the messy implications and the long tail to Jun's conflict with the drug dealers, and there's a touch of action movie logic in that the main character is alone among the veterans in her trauma having left her as a kind of towering badass rather than one of society's victims, but putting those aside PTSD is a really satisfying story about trauma and community.

[chriscdcase95]

Why people like Luaggie and odd couples

The following is based off my opinions and observations.

This is the only gif I could find of them by the way. I haven’t figured out how to upload pictures from desktop.

So I haven’t really been vocal about being a Loud House fan on here, mainly because I want to avoid (often manufactured) fandom drama that often comes up in my circle of friends and acquaintances; but some of the few discussions I’m willing to engage in these the fandom are shipping’s and alleged shipping wars. Shipping’s are a funny thing - they are a small thing all things considered, and yet people make these big deals about them as if they are the center of the fandom as a whole.

Because this is Luaggie Week in The Loud House fandom at the time I am writing this, I decided to use Luaggie, and other Loud House" ships - both canon or non canon, and both romantic and non romantic - as examples. But Luaggie is the primary example here.

“So what is Luaggie ?” It is a popular non canonical ship in the Loud House fandom, and is a good example of a “Fanfic Ship” - This means a ship that can only work in fanfiction and is very, very, very unlikely to work in canon. And why is that ? Because Luan has a canonical lover interest in Benny and in the actual show Maggie only appears in one episode, and doesn’t remotely interact with Luan in the actual episode. Maggie’s mother appears in the show more than Maggie herself, and that is as a background character. 

This is because Maggie is an Ensemble Darkhorse, which TV Tropes defines as “A secondary or minor character in a work who becomes popular among the works fandom”. What Maggie made popular ? Arguably because she was a teenage version of Haiku (an Ensemble Darkhorse in her own right) or was an emo girl who was the opposite of Luan in terms of personality, but close to her age that it would be believable they’d know eachother. From such, fanfics and/or fan art did one or two things to Maggie; they either pair her up with Luan, or more rarely make Maggie a big sister to Haiku. It should be noted that Maggie is hardly the only example of the Ensemble Darkhorse trope in the Loud House, and is hardly the only secondary/minor character to be shipped with one of the main characters.

“So what makes Luaggie so special ?” Nothing canonically, there’s two short and simple answers to this; some fans write fanfics and art, in turn other fans grew to like them. And so Luaggie spread, but what made them appeal ? Others answer with “opposites attract”; Luan is a clown girl for lack of a better word, and Maggie is a near stoic goth. But my answer is a little more lenient and applicable to other ships both in and out of The Loud House; canon or romantic or no. This is a little something called the Odd Couple and the appeals to these couples are not what they have in common, but what they don’t. They have differences that can play off eachother, and I think that’s what people like to see in polar opposite relationships. This dynamic is also applicable to non romantic relationships and family bonds.

And to demonstrate this, I present to you Loud House examples. The biggest familial and platonic example of this in the Loud House can be seen in Lola and Lana’s dynamic; as twins they are arguably the closest pair of sisters among the Loud siblings, and yet their entire characters revolve around how they are polar opposites of eachother. And for a romantic example, there was Lucy having a crush on Rocky, despite them being seeming opposites with Lucy being a total goth and Rocky…pretty much being your average nerdish kid. Other canon or non canon relationships apply to this dynamic; Lynn and Clyde -or Clynn- are a popular non canon pairing (a jock girl with a nerdish boy); Lincoln and Ronnie Anne - Ronnincoln - is considered one of the biggest pairings in the fandom and it also somewhat falls into the same category of a tough girl and not so nerdish boy. I bring these up because these “Tough Girl and Nerd Guy” kind of relationships have a special appeal to me for some reason. Both Lincoln and Clyde are also popularly paired up with Haiku, which can fall under the same category as Lucy and Rocky above.

Why is contrasting characters appealing to fans ? Because pairing someone up with someone who is the exact same as they are can get boring, if there is nothing to play off with. Let’s take the episode L is For Love for example; besides Benny, Sam, and Chaz, the love interests introduced for the sisters in this episode are basically male, two dimensional, carbon copies of the sisters that serve as plot devices to segway into the reveal that Luna is Bi; Sam was initially popular because she was a confirmed love interest for a major female character, and even then the episode where they go on a date has a plot about what they don’t have in common, which saves Sam from being a total copy cat of Luna; Chaz became popular because he was (physically at least) the opposite of Leni; Benny was initially popular because he wasn’t Maggie (more on that below) and even in his and Luan’s spotlight episode we see a slight difference between them in that Benny was more of a theatre lover than Luan, who was more of a comedian.

It should go without saying contrasts don’t always work for compelling positive relationships. Many of fictions greatest rivalries stem from how two rivals contrast eachother.

But didn’t Luaggie start a fan war ? Hardly. There was a pretty one sided fan war going on around the time Stage Plight aired. Because this was Luan and Benny’s episode, fans of them - Lunny’s -were getting all hyped that their ship was going to be made official, and spent a good amount of their time bragging about it to Luaggie fans. Now as I mentioned above one of the reasons why Benny became popular with fans in the first place was because he was a Luan love interest that wasn’t Maggie, and Luaggie detractors tend to hate it with a burning passion. Now I can see where they are coming from, considering Luaggie’s popularity in fanfics and art, and some fans have a problem when it comes to compartmentalizing fanon and canon. It gotten to the point that when Luaggie art used to get shared, Lunny fan’s would get all up and arms about how Benny was Luan’s love interest. What people call ship policing.

Trust me, I can understand their frustrations I’ve been on the receiving end of such things, so I can certainly put myself in their shoes, albeit with different ships. 

Anyways, Stage Plight airs and Luan and Benny are an official couple. Did Luaggie’s complain ? Cry ? Leave the fandom ? Have a total social media meltdown ? No. For the most part, Luaggie’s I’ve seen and talked too generally took the episode in stride, said they liked the episode and went on with their lives. The episode certainly didn’t stop Luaggie fan works from being made, as the Lunny fans predicted. Because Luaggie was always a fanfic based ship, and I don’t think anyone seriously thought or expected them to be an actual couple in the show. Lunny fans on the other hand spent their time showboating and singing sweet victories over the “defeat” of the Luaggie fans, celebrating a war they made up in their own hands.

I have seen some go as far as to say Luaggie is a toxic ship, which I don’t see. I think people have different ideas over what a toxic ship is. A friend and I talked about two different ideas of what a toxic ship is; to him a toxic relationship was reflected by their fans and bullying behaviour they do in the name of their ship; to me a toxic ship would be a relationship that promotes or romanticizes abusive ideals such as rape, incest, pedophilia, victimization, etc. As such I don’t see how Luaggie falls into that category - although a non Loud House ship called Jemma from Every Witch Way, might fall into that category, but that an analytical rant for another day.

That being said, it does bring to mind the concept of Ship Policing, which means telling people who they are allowed to ship or not to ship and bullying others over them. Again, I think this might have to do with a failure to differentiate between popular fanon and canon, and I have been on the receiving end of this so I gotta vent.

Stress Induced Rant incoming 

I once got into a shipping debate earlier this year regarding two non Loud House related ships in a Facebook group I’m in where the non canon Kigo ship of the Kim Possible fandom was brought up. I mentioned that Kigo didn’t really appeal to me due to re-watching the show and coming to the conclusion that Kigo would be canonically problematic, and their canon pairings (Kim x Ron, and Drakken x Shego) grew on me. At no point did I say Kigo doesn’t work as a fanfic couple, but canon wise, I saw too many problems that goes against Kigo’s favour in comparison to their canon boyfriends.

I am going to use this as an example of what shipping police are and how not to debate other fans. So when I mentioned I wasn’t into Kigo in comparison to KiRon and Drakgo, this one Kigo fan went ballistic and kept badgering me.  So I explain myself, answer all her questions, and bring up some of my points and reasonings. In turn, she answers my points with Double Standards and Non Sequiturs; either dodging my questions or saying my answers don’t apply when they don’t go against her arguments. She then resorts to using fanfics as “proof” that Kigo would work in canon, and when that fails she starts making Ad Hominem attacks and personal insults - notably calling me retarded when my autism was briefly mentioned in the discussion - and went on about it well past midnight. Rule of thumb, when you resort to personal insults and attacking someone over an opinion that won’t budge, you kind of forfeit your argument. Luckily, this was only one Kigo fan, who doesn’t represent its fandom as a whole

Venting over.

Like I mentioned, ships are a funny - they actually mean very little in the grand scheme of things, but to fandoms, they are the center of the world.

I should also say there a third or fourth reason non canon ships become popular; a lot of fans either take note on onscreen chemistry a paring may have, or project some where there is none, and that is because fans tend to project themselves or their ideas onto characters they like, including what their ideal relationships would be like. It’s hardly exclusive to The Loud House fandom. Me for example, in stories I wrote but never posted, I paired a young adult version of Steven Lloyd from the Halloween series and Edith Sawyer from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series; I design them to have an obvious contrast between them and show how it would play off between the two, but these are two characters that never met in canon (especially since the two series never crossover). Had I wrote a legitimate Halloween/Texas Chainsaw crossover, chances are I’d implement that pairing into the story.

As far as Luaggie goes, I don’t see it as any different than another Leather and Lace relationship applied to fanfiction and fan art. What’s my opinion of them ? Really that depends on the fic or the artwork. I’m not gonna delude myself into thinking it’s gonna become canon or have some power over canon. Nor do I think it’s worth getting all hyped and excited for a non existant ship war.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Wait, why do you hate the third HP film so much? It's been years since I watched it but I think Cuaron did a pretty good job directing it.

[Follow-on from this post.]  Major caveat: It has also been years since I’ve watched that movie.

My beef with it, in two words?  Gender roles.

All Harry Potter movies have moments of cringe-inducing sexism (e.g. Beauxbatons and Drumstrang’s entrances). However, the films of Philorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets at the very least preserved book elements like the gender-neutral school robes, Hermione having giant frizzle hair, Harry being a physically unimpressive atypical jock, and none of the kids conforming all that well to mainstream (muggle) beauty standards.

In the third film, Hermione now sports a perfectly-coiffed do that matches well with her ultra-traditionally-feminine muggle clothing.  Harry and Ron have different haircuts, physical presentations, costuming, and subtle indicators in their characterization to make them more traditionally masculine.  These elements, like Sirius Black’s hair being moderate-length while now it’s Peter Pettigrew who has the more traditionally feminine haircut, wouldn’t be egregious in a vacuum.  But they occur in the same movie that translates Harry crying under a table after learning Sirius is his godfather into Harry punching a tree in rage and making manful grunting noises, or translates Hermione cleverly engineering a time paradox into Hermione shrieking “is that really what my hair looks like from behind?” so loudly that she nearly gets herself killed.

What really bakes my noodle is that Cuarón made a lot of choices with that movie that toss Rowling’s and Colombus’s work out the window in favor of imposing his own vision on the production.  The third movie introduces a whole shitton of continuity breaks and errors (changing Hogwarts’ geography, recasting minor characters, introducing new school uniforms, rewriting the main characters, changing almost all production elements, etc.) that are unnecessarily jarring when one goes from the second to third movies.  At least some of these decisions result directly from the fact that Cuarón openly refused to read any of the Harry Potter novels because he wanted to bring his own vision to the table.  Because he wanted this to be an Alfonso Cuarón movie first, a sequel to Christopher Colombus’s work second.  Some of the gaps in his own knowledge result in stereotypes of teenage girls and teenage boys in lieu of the characters’ uniquenesses.

The smaller, petty reason that this movie annoys me is that it quite simply misses most of what makes the book unique and interesting.  It doesn’t establish the connection between Snape, Lupin, and the whole Black-Pettigrew-Potter plot.  It doesn’t create any emotional weight around Buckbeak.  It fails to set up a mystery about Hermione’s classes enough to make the reveal about the time-turner rewarding.  It awkwardly sticks Scabbers into a few scenes, but again doesn’t set up Ron’s love for his rat enough to justify Ron attacking an apparent death omen in order to save him.  It fails to lay the groundwork for plots like Sirius quasi-adopting Harry, Remus being a warm but flawed mentor, Snape’s grudge, Trelawney’s “fits” of prophecy, the four-way seeker rivalry, Pigwidgeon, Hogsmeade, Stan Shunpike, etc.

You can see the later movies scrambling to go back and lay the foundations for these plots later, which simply doesn’t work as well.  Because instead of creating a meaningful continuation of Prisoner of Azkaban’s predecessors or doing groundwork for its sequels, Cuarón instead chose to waste ten minutes of screen time on a racist talking head.

[juniperwindsong]

Necessary Monsters (9/16)

A/N: This chapter and the next were originally one, but the length got away from me and it had to be separated. So this story has been changed to 16 chapters (guess that can be good or bad news depending on how much you want this story to be over).

Summary: Better sense is screaming at Felix that this is possibly the worst idea he's ever had, that he's about to undo all the progress he's made. But though his better sense has maintained the upper hand most of the last year, thirty minutes with Juniper is enough to send it packing to the very back of his mind...

 “Allow me to introduce my son, Felix.” The Rosier Patriarch offers the young woman’s hand to his son, who accepts and bends over it stiffly, making eye contact for only the briefest second. "I believe you two have quite a bit in common. I'll leave you to chat."

   Felix twists his mouth into what passes for a smile at these sort of society parties, while inwardly he groans. His father's attempts to facilitate interactions with pure-blood girls are usually more adroit. But with his first year as a Dragonologist in Peru a success and with no plans to return to England anytime soon, Felix supposes his father is getting a bit desperate.

   Felix glances at the clock on the mantle, mentally calculating how much longer before he can leave without disturbing propriety.

   "You are an alchemist, then?"

   The voice, low for a woman and shaded by a light, lilting accent, startles Felix, as does the unusual question.

   "I beg your pardon?"

   "An alchemist," the young woman repeats. She's the same height as Felix and meets his eyes steadily. "Your father is sure we will have much in common, you and I. I assume that means you are an alchemist, also?"

   Felix permits himself the smallest of smirks. "I'm afraid not. My father is under the impression that being pure-blood is the only important commonality between any two people."

   "I see." The young woman flicks dark, wavy tresses over her shoulder and smiles, revealing a dimple in one cheek. "Then we have one thing in common after all. My parents are also, as the English say, old-fashioned."

   She winks. Dark lashes flutter over dark eyes, and Felix takes his first serious look at Aurelie Dumont. 

   Felix knows he would not usually be permitted to sequester himself in a corner, making interesting conversation with a single person while the party drags on around him. His father pokes his head round the corner every quarter hour to scrutinise the pair of them, but this is more amusing than annoying to Felix. For once, he’s in the company of someone else who notices and understands and laughs quietly alongside him. Felix spends the entire evening with Aurelie, who stays long past the fashionable hour, and when she finally takes her leave, it's with the promise of a letter to follow.

-

   Aurelie does write, and Felix writes back. It isn't the comfortable, easy correspondence he shares with Juniper; it's something altogether different. It's titillating, exchanging flirtations with a beautiful, intelligent woman, interested in Felix in a way no beautiful, intelligent woman has ever been before. And it isn't long before the desire to see her again wins out. Leave from Peru isn't easy, but Felix manages, trekking miles to designated apparition points to visit Aurelie in France whenever he has time to spare, sometimes for only a single evening.

   In spite of their mutual interest in each other, their first time together is awkward and unnerving. Felix does his best, but he feels certain he has not quite met Aurelie’s well-established standard; something about her desire for distance through the night and her rapid retreat the next morning. As with everything in life, Felix resolves to work harder, do better, and eventually achieve his customary level of perfection. He does what research he's able, pays more attention to the fireside conversations of the other men on his team, even daring a few well-placed and casual questions. 

   But instead of becoming more comfortable with time, each liaison seems to drive them further apart. Felix began to dread the uneasy silence that sags between them as they lay next to each other in the dark, and is always relieved when Aurelie takes her leave swiftly afterward. Her interest in him seems to cool distinctly as the year progresses. She has absolutely no desire to visit him in Peru, and can no longer even feign an interest in dragons or his work, except to mention rather pointedly in one curt letter how "all that" will need to be wrapped up before they can be married.

   At this, Felix balks. He's always known this was the endgame for the two of them - he has a shrewd idea both families have already decided on dates and divided up holidays - but the idea of abandoning his newfound freedom for a lifetime laying next to this woman, cold and beautiful and sharp as a diamond, is utterly terrifying. Instead, Felix throws himself into his correspondence with Juniper, who points out that Aurelie isn't the only eligible, pureblood woman in the world. She reminds him he's hardly done any serious investigation into the subject, and encourages him to hold out.

   "There's got to be at least one pure-blood girl out there with a passing interest in dragons. It'd be a shame for you to settle for someone that can't appreciate all your talent," she writes, in a letter Felix folds and unfolds so many times the parchment eventually falls into pieces he has to tape back together. He can’t stop re-reading it. The words make him glow. Aurelie's early letters teem with tantalising coquetry, but Juniper simply declares her compliments like established points of fact. If Aurelie is a diamond, then Juniper is a dragon egg; rougher and hotter, a different sort of object altogether, but infinitely more precious to Felix.

   Felix can't imagine Juniper ever permitting a chilly silence to blow between them as they lay in bed together. Juniper, with her easy laughs and natural way of setting people at ease, would know exactly what to say to make those moments beautiful and memorable, even if he doesn't. They're hard for Felix to picture with no good point of reference, but he feels instinctively that nights with Juniper would be better.

   Which is what makes the aftermath of their brief tryst so much harder to bear.

-

   Felix returns to work as usual, but there’s an ache inside him he cannot soothe, like a miniature dragon tooth lodged in his flesh. Unbearable waves of longing and pain beat against him every minute of the day, exhausting him and keeping his fractured nerves on fire. True focus is impossible. He's caught between an unquenchable thirst for Juniper and resonating, bitter anger for the way she’s treated him. After every sacrifice he’s made for her, Juniper is unwilling even to try. He didn't know it was possible to hate and love somebody so fiercely and simultaneously.

   I don't want things to change. Her words kick at his already bruised brain. Somehow, in spite of everything he had done, he still had not been good enough. On some level, Felix knows it must be his fault. He should never have let that night occur. He had rushed in senselessly, swept away by emotion, just as he had the night she'd been attacked. How might everything have been different if he'd only listened to his common sense? The regret makes him physically ill.

   Juniper's first letter arrives a week after his return, and Felix can't prevent his heart leaping into his throat when he recognises the hand-writing. For a few wild minutes, as he finds a quiet spot and tears into the envelope with shaky fingers, he's convinced everything will be fixed. Surely Juniper will be fit to burst with desperate apologies and confessions of feelings she was too muddled to express before. But as Felix scans the lines eagerly, his hopes are dashed. It's a few dutiful paragraphs about Juniper's return to the Khanna tree farm, her reconciliation with her friends, some minor improvement in her hands as she focuses on her healing once more, and her subsequent decision to return to school. She's breezy and pleasant, as if nothing remotely intimate had ever passed between them. Felix throws the offensive parchment into the fire, then spends the evening meticulously reassembling the ashes.

   His late night craft project makes Felix late for the next day's shift, and it’s a testament to his genuine enervation that he doesn't even notice. Nor does he notice the eyes of his Senior Dragonologist following him as he wanders into the Peruvian Vipertooth habitat an hour past his scheduled time. Felix goes through the motions of inspecting his dragon, instructing his team of assistants in a weary, hollow voice, entirely oblivious to his superior's expression of growing concern. It isn't until Felix fails to notice the tell-tale signs of impending flame from the mercurial young Vipertooth and has to be yanked out of harm’s way by a terrified assistant that Luis Rashbold steps in. Barking orders over his shoulder to the rest of the team, Rashbold heaves his junior dragonologist out of the fray by the back of his neck, and half-drags him across the grounds to a carefully concealed paddock.

   The simple covered lean-to serves as a hidden observation deck for researchers and other less daring visitors to the Reserve. One long window looks out over the grounds, offering a splendid view of the team of wizards now stunning the legs out from under the rampaging she-dragon, but the paddock's various enchantments prevent anyone outside seeing within. 

   Rashbold tosses an indignantly spluttering Felix onto one of the paddock's three-legged stools.

   "Alright, talk," demands the bulky dragonologist, looming over Felix, fists on hips.

   Felix straightens on the low seat, glaring at Rashbold with what little dignity he can scrounge up.

   "What are you on about?"

   "Pack it in that," Rashbold scolds. "You nearly had it back there! A blind streeler could have dodged that flame, yet my junior dragonologist wants the aid of a bunch of teenagers to keep himself kickin'. What in Merlin's name's going on with you?”

    Felix rubs the back of his neck mulishly. "I'm just..tired. Not enough sleep last night."

    "Rubbish. You've been shirty and careless for a week now, ever since you got back from your little furlough. You can't possibly be this bad at your job, or you'd never have survived Peru."

   Felix pushes off from the stool brusquely.

   "It won't happen again," he assures his superior, voice dripping with obsequious sarcasm, but Rashbold refuses to be goaded.  

   "It will," he replies coolly,"If you don't get whatever's eating you off your mind. Keep this up and you're going to get yourself killed. And you can't even imagine the paperwork nightmare that is."

    Felix says nothing. He squares up against Rashbold, calculating his chances of successfully pushing past the much larger man and reaching the exit.

   "It's that girl, isn't it. The one you went to see?" pries Rashbold doggedly, ignoring Felix's murderous look. "I can put two and two together as well as the next bloke. She turned you down, didn't she? Or called it off?"

   It's no good, concludes Felix bitterly; even if he were in peak condition, there's no way he could draw his wand on Rashbold before the brawny man knocked it from his hand. Instead, Felix emits a noise somewhere between disgust and exasperation and storms off to the window. He watches the technicians conduct routine scale care on the now unconscious dragon, and waits for the heat in his face to cool. He doesn't really expect his little tantrum to defeat the obstinate Rashbold, and he braces himself for further inquisition. He’s therefore caught off guard when Rashbold speaks again in a voice oddly gruff and choked, as if trying to force a soothing tone through a throat not constructed for it.

   "C'mon, mate. It happens to the best of us. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's hell, but we've all been there, haven't we? It’ll be right."

   Tears, something Felix has managed to avoid for so much of his life and now finds himself constantly threatened by, prick at the corners of his eyes. He wishes Rashbold would yell at him or berate him, even draw his wand. Felix has defences for all of those things. He has no armour for this sort of camaraderie.

   "You don't know what you're talking about," Felix tries to snarl, but it comes out too wet to be threatening.

   There's a pause, then the scrape of a stool being pulled across ground, and the creaking protest of wood as Rashbold settles his bulk into it.

    "Alright then. Tell it me."

   It's neither sarcastic nor saccharine. Just a plain invitation. And words slip out from around the growing lump in Felix's throat before he can even decide what to say. Ironically, it reminds him of conversations with Juniper in his final year at Hogwarts. She, too, had a knack for wrenching Felix's voice from him without his conscious consent, as though she knew a secret password to his thoughts he didn't know existed. 

   To Felix's own astonishment, he finds himself confessing nearly everything to do with Juniper, from his first inkling of feeling for an unlikely fourteen year old, to his arrival at her Quidditch match, and the horrid mess that followed. But when he reaches the final part of the story, something stops him short. Some piece of well-honed propriety simply will not allow him to discuss that with this man he barely knows.

   "I didn't know where else to go so I took her back to the Leaky Cauldron and I...we... had a discussion. I...made it clear how I felt about her, that I loved her. But...she said...she didn't want things to change."

    Felix takes a deep shuddering breath. All this uncharacteristic openness makes him woozy and in need of a sit, but he isn't ready to turn and face Rashbold just yet. He hears whining notes of concern from the stool indicating the large body on it has shifted positions.

   "Nah, you don't."

   Felix cocks his head, wondering if he hasn't understood Rashbold around his heavy accent.

   "Don't what?" 

   "You don't love this girl," declares Rashbold broadly. It's such a strange response to everything Felix has just said that it takes a minute for him to interpret it as an insult and allow defensive anger to rear its head.

   "Yes, I do!" he protests, whipping around to face Rashbold defiantly. The bulky man has his long legs kicked out in front of him and his arms behind his head, in a supremely relaxed manner that Felix is sure must be for show since he can't possibly be comfortable balancing all his weight on that ridiculously small stool.

   "Nah, mate. You love the idea of this girl," Rashbold explains, and his need to appear so at ease in the face of Felix's heart-rending story makes Felix's blood boil. He stares daggers at Rashbold, but the older man only continues coaxingly, "C'mon, mate. You couldn't even name two things you liked about her beside what? She's smart, kind, beautiful? Anyone you catch the bug for sounds like that. I'm not insulting your girl." He holds up a conciliatory hand, catching sight of Felix's flared nostrils. "I'm sure she's lovely and all, when she's not being a bit of a drama queen, but the rest? All that stuff you love about her? It's all made up in your head." 

   Rashbold suddenly sits up, propping his arms on his knees. "Tell me this. What's her favourite colour, your girl?”

    Felix blinks. "What?"

   "Her favourite colour," Rashbold repeats, very slowly and deliberately as if to a small child "The colour she likes best. What is it?"

   It's such an insipid question, Felix actually snorts before giving his memory a quick scan. A favourite colour? Surely that had come up naturally in conversation once, or been mentioned off-hand in a letter? But if it had, Felix can't call the information to mind. Panicking slightly, he grabs hold of the colour she sports in the majority of his memories:

   "Green! She's always wearing green."

   A supercilious smile crosses Rashbold's face.

    "That's house colours mate. Not the same thing.” He changes tact before Felix can argue. “How does she take her tea, then?"

   This time, Felix pales a little. He's seen Juniper drink tea, on multiple occasions. Had she put anything in it? Probably. He's never noticed.

   "How about a favourite meal? Or favourite Quidditch team?" Rashbold inquires, that infuriating smile still playing about his lips. "Do you know where she lives? Her parents’ names? Do you even know her full name?”

   "What does any of that matter?” Felix bursts in agitation, "That's all - that's just...little things. They’re not important."

   "No, mate." Rashbold shakes his head, the condescending smile replaced by a look of uncharacteristic earnestness. "That little stuff, that's everything. That's who people really are. A bunch of little quirks and preferences and opinions all jumbled together. If you don't know all the little things about someone, you don't really know them at all. Just an idea of them. It’s like fancying a celebrity in a magazine. You don’t love them as a person, you just love their picture and all the stuff you’ve imagined about them."

   Rashbold stands, ignoring Felix’s open-mouthed umbrage, and brushes off his trousers briskly. “You'll be right, mate. Trust me. Give it a few weeks, it'll all fade and you’ll be back in business. Just try not to get yourself burnt to crisp before then."

   He claps a burly hand to Felix’s shoulder briefly, dark eyes twinkling, before striding from the paddock.

   -

   Righteous indignation toward Rashbold takes the place of Felix’s regularly scheduled misery for the rest of the day. What does Rashbold know about him and Juniper? Absolutely nothing. And it isn’t his business anyway, great nosy git. And what was he, Felix, playing at telling the older man things he’s never confessed to anyone before? This whole situation must truly be driving him mad.

   But for all his justified resentment toward Rashbold, part of Felix can’t help but feel touched at the older man’s interest in him, his willingness to sit and listen to what Felix had to say. It's a rare enough occurrence. The only other person who has ever been quite so conscientious about Felix's emotional well-being was, well, Juniper. 

   And Rashbold's blunt words suddenly click into place in Felix’s head.

   What if he's right? thinks Felix as he tosses and turns on his camp bed that night. After all, aren’t his favourite letters from Juniper the ones where she talks about him? Complimenting him? Comforting him? Ruminating on their correspondence, Felix realises they hardly ever discuss Juniper herself, beyond her illicit Cursed Vault adventures and his constant admonitions that she stay safe. He’s always thought he knew Juniper better than nearly anyone, that was why he loved her, after all; but maybe what he really loved was having someone who cared about him. 

    Felix rolls over and folds his arms behind his head. What does he know about Juniper, then? Well, that she’s impulsive and reckless, talented, but with a rather short attention span, shrewd as any Slytherin when it comes to solving mysteries, yet somehow oblivious to anyone or anything that doesn’t matter to her at that moment, including schoolwork. Nearly the opposite of him in every way, when it comes right down to it. The more Felix mulls it over, the more he realises the Juniper he's in love with is mostly fantasy, a character he built in his head. The loss of which might be disappointing, but it's nothing he can't recover from because, in the end, it isn’t real. 

   It isn't real.

   Felix repeats this idea like a mantra until sleep rescues him from further thought. And for the next months, he applies the phrase like a burn salve against his thoughts every time longing or grief threatens him.

    Juniper’s letters keep coming; every week at first, then every month once her final year of school begins. But for the first time since his graduation, Felix does not write back. He reads her accounts of her continued recovery and her inevitable adventures and practices maintaining an appropriate emotional distance.

    Juniper informs him of her resignation as Slytherin Quidditch captain in favour of Skye Parkin, thus ending her illustrious school Quidditch career. It isn't real, Felix scolds the subsequent wriggle of pleasure at the idea of her spending significantly less time with Murphy McNully or Charlie Weasley. 

  Juniper is drawn back into the Cursed Vaults, as always, matching wits and wands with R once again. It isn't real, Felix reminds himself as worry for her safety guts him. She's a talented witch, fully of age, able to make her own bad decisions and it's no skin off his nose if she's hurt. 

    As the year draws to a close, the pain begins to fade, like scar tissue closing over a wound; until he can think of Juniper and feel nearly nothing, so long as he doesn't prod his feelings too forcefully.

    Christmas comes and goes. Juniper tactfully neglects to mention their plans to see each other over the holiday in her December letter. Felix feels slightly guilty. It's the first year since he left school he hasn't sent her anything for Christmas, but he puts it out of his mind. She has plenty of friends, he assures himself, he doubts she'll even notice. 

    The new year drags on bleak and chill. For whatever reason, The Reserve doesn't fill Felix with the same elation Peru did. For the first time in years, he's stuck in one place, and largely alone, with nothing to occupy his newly acquired free time. For something to do, Felix begins to write. Publication is a requirement before one can apply for a Senior Dragonologist position. For the last four years, Felix has kept a notebook full of ideas and research topics for papers and even books he tells himself he'll write when he has the time. Now he does. He spends most of his spare moments writing and researching, but his enthusiasm for the enterprise quickly wanes. 

    As much as he tells himself he shouldn't, Felix misses talking to Juniper. Occasionally, he toys with the idea of replying to one of the letters she continues to send. It's been enough time now, he hardly feels anything at all toward her. What could it hurt? Only it's been so long since she heard from him last, Felix can't think of any way to begin a letter without addressing his extended silence, and the reason for it, and all his attempts end up crumpled in the waste bin.

    True, Felix's fire for Juniper has been essentially smothered, his iron self-discipline has seen to that. But he can't help the occasional fantasy of Juniper appearing at the Reserve unexpectedly, concerned about his silence, and throwing her arms around him in joy the way she had after the Quidditch match last spring. He reminds himself dutifully that it isn’t real love that generates this, just a desire to feel something, anything to break up the monotony of time cards and paperwork. But he allows it, if only for something to occupy his mind. Which is why, as he tromps through the dirty snow after his shift one particularly blustery morning, Felix doesn't immediately register the sight of Juniper waiting for him at the end of the path as real. She trots about in place, arms wrapped around herself, clearly freezing. Her head is tucked into her chest, hiding from the wind as best she can in her inadequate coat, so she doesn't notice Felix's tentative approach.

     "Juniper?" he asks in disbelief.

    The young woman looks up and smiles; a lop-sided grin Felix would recognise anywhere. She stomps through the snow toward where Felix has stopped in his tracks. His brain is no longer able to control his limbs, every cell engaged in reconciling Juniper's presence with reality. 

    "What - how-" Felix splutters as she marches nearer until she’s close enough for him to make out the individual snowflakes dotting the top of her head. "What are you doing here?" he somehow manages to ask.

    "Waiting for you. Or that’s what I’m doing out here in the cold anyway. That man from the office - your office, I mean -he said you'd be back soon so I thought I’d try to catch you."

    Felix's mouth opens and closes like a fish, while Juniper shivers and hunches deeper into her thin coat.

    “Can we talk somewhere else? Warmer maybe?” 

-

    A dream, this must be a dream, thinks Felix. He's dreaming he's at the Reserve's only pub, sitting just across from a windswept Juniper attempting to breathe life back into her frozen fingers. The barman deposits two mugs of the locally popular warm, spiced Butterbeer, and Juniper wraps her hands around it gratefully. Felix can only stare. After a minute of strained silence, he pulls his mug toward him and takes a long swallow. The liquid scalds the roof of his mouth. Which has to mean he's awake. Which means Juniper really is here, in front of him. A bubbling excitement brews in his chest that his mantra cannot extinguish.

   “The real reason I’m here,” explains Juniper into her mug, “is...for a job interview." 

    Felix chokes on his second sip. He coughs into his hands while Juniper stares determinedly at the table, clenching her Butterbeer so tightly her knuckles are white. 

    “You’re a dragonologist now, then?” asks Felix once his spluttering subsides.

   “No,” Juniper says, still refusing to meet Felix's eye. “I...wanted to apply for the open healing position here. I’m doing better, quite a bit better, actually.” She nods at her hands wrapped around the mug, and it registers to Felix for the first time how still they are. “But St Mungo's only offers a limited number of intern positions to students out of school, and I know I won't score near high enough to get in. That was really sort of my whole post-school plan, on the off-chance I ever made it out alive. So I'm looking into alternatives, and Professor Snape mentioned this job. Apparently, the qualifications for healers here are a bit lax. I guess they sort of...take anyone they can get, so I thought I'd apply. But... I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

   Juniper's words seem to be reaching Felix's brain on a delay, so she has time to take another long swig of Butterbeer before Felix has processed her final statement.

   "About what?" he asks belatedly.

   "About the job. I mean...I won’t take it if you don’t want me to."

   "Why...wouldn't I want you to take a job?" Felix asks slowly. Some combination of the cold and the surreality of Juniper's very presence makes him feel slow and stupid. He can't understand what she's asking of him. Juniper finally lifts her head fully, her expression unreadable.

   "Felix, you haven’t written all year."

   It's Felix's turn to stare into his frothing mug. He raises it to his mouth, hiding as much of his face as he can.

   "Yes, about that. I’ve been rather busy. I'm so-"

   "You don't have to apologise," Juniper interjects hastily.  "I understand. Completely. I didn't mean - I mean, I deserved it, and... you've had all this to get used to and I'm sure it's really overwhelming. I only meant - you know - this is your space, and if you don't want me to...intrude on it, I won't."

     Pink patches that have nothing to do with cold appear on her cheeks as Juniper hides herself in her coat, and something about her obvious discomfort starts a primal fire inside Felix's stomach. It's a feeling he hasn't had in so long, and it jumpstarts his sluggish mental faculties. 

   "Not at all," Felix tells her. Juniper shoots a confused look at him and he clarifies, "I mean, I don't mind. At all. In fact, I think it's an excellent idea."

   Juniper makes a valiant effort to raise her eyebrows. "You do?"

   "Yes," Felix replies, an almost giddy smile appearing on his face at her familiar expression. He hides it behind a hand, tilted in front of his mouth in a gesture of thoughtfulness. "I think it'd be good for you to get out of the country for a bit. You'd do quite well here. You're not scared of dragons, good under pressure. And we can't seem to keep a healer."

   "Yeah, that's what the director said. Guivré."

   "You've met Guivré ?"

   "Yeah, for the interview." Juniper leans forward in her seat, warming to their conversation. "He didn't even seem to care about the fact that I haven't taken the NEWTs yet, and he didn't ask anything about my marks. Wouldn't even look at my transcripts. He just asked about the Cursed Vaults, mostly. And that time with the common welsh green in my third year."

   Felix no longer bothers to hide his grin. "That sounds about right. That's exactly the sort of person he is. He believes experience is a better teacher than education. So, you've already had the interview, then?"

   Juniper colours once more and retreats back into her coat. "Um...yeah. Yeah, I did first thing this morning. Sorry, I did want to talk to you first, but-"

   Felix overrides her apology. "Did he mention whether he liked you for the job or not?"

   Juniper takes a shallow, shaky breath. "Yes, actually. He - he said it's mine if I want it." She tries to purse her lips over a proud smile. "But I told him I had to think about it."

   "Take it."

   For the first time that day, Juniper meets Felix's eyes.

   "You’re sure?"

   "Positive."

    Both their faces flush with heat at the memory of the last time this word passed between them. Felix looks away first, clearing his throat.

   "Alright. I will then," Juniper says. "Thank you.” She takes another sip of butterbeer, holding the mug close to her body as if relishing the heat or the ability to keep the mug upright, while Felix's brain goes to war. 

  Better sense is screaming at Felix that this is possibly the worst idea he's ever had, that he's about to undo all the progress he's made. But though his better sense has maintained the upper hand most of the last year, thirty minutes with Juniper is enough to send it packing to the very back of his mind where its screams sound more like squeaks, leaving Felix free to revel in the sense of elation blossoming through him at the idea of living in close proximity to Juniper once again. 

    "So," Juniper interrupts Felix's musings, " Guivré didn’t mention where people live while they’re here? Does everyone...apparate in, or...?" 

    "Some do, yes. There’s limited housing on the Reserve itself, but there's a few buildings they've turned into flats. Dragonologists generally have seniority, then the assistants and researchers and everyone else."

    "Oh." Juniper falls silent, picking at a spot on the table with a fingernail, and it takes Felix a minute to understand what her nerves are about.

    "I'm sure I can get you a place on the grounds. In case you'd rather not apparate."

    "I can," she insists. "If I have to. It's not a big deal, it's just...I'm not really supposed to do it all the time, and-"

    "It's not a problem," Felix assures her. "I'll figure something out." He basks in the glow of Juniper's wide, grateful smile. And a brilliant idea occurs to Felix that makes his demoted better sense absolutely livid.

-

    "You sure about this?" asks the nervous young assistant, staring at the proferred key as though it were likely to turn into a snake and strike him.

    "Yes, Lambton, I'm sure and please don't ask again," says Felix trying hard to keep exasperation from his voice. He dangles the key out to the gawky teenager.

    "But...you're sure this is allowed? The Upper Flats are for proper dragonologists. Won't I be out of place?"

    Felix grits his teeth. "Don't you want to be a proper dragonologist yourself one day?"

    "Yeah, o' course."

    "Well, then," Felix cajoles, "how better to learn than to live with proper dragonologists? You can make friends, get extra help on your research. It'll be a major stepping stone for your career!" 

    " 'Spose that's true..." Felix watches the boy's dull eyes light up slowly at the prospect. He reaches out for Felix's key and fishes in a pocket for his own.

    "But...why would you want to live in the Lower Flats?" Lambton asks, holding his key out to Felix. "They're absolute shite, you know."

     "Never you mind," snaps Felix, snatching the key from Lambton's twitchy fingers.

-

    Those Dragonologists wishing to save a bit of money and be as close to their dragons as possible are usually put up in the Upper Flats, an old but dignified building that had probably once been a large manor house before the Reserve bought the land. It's nearly always cold, and not lavishly furnished, but it passes for comfort and the Dragonologists have little complaints; or if they do, they simply move on as soon as they're able. 

    The Lower Flats is the cruel moniker given the ramshackle building just down the path from the Upper Flats. No one knows what, if any, sort of building it had been before the Reserve got hold of it and added on stories and side rooms with whatever materials were to hand, but it now has more in common with Frankenstein's monster than any traditional forms of architecture. These flats are given to assistants and researchers, or any Reserve staff members or visitors the director wants to get rid of.  Lambton, being the most recent addition to the Reserve, had a top three-bedroom flat all to himself. However, once another new low-level employee arrived, such as a healer, he'd be forced to share. That is, until Felix graciously offered to swap flats with the young man for reasons Felix is well aware of and is determined not to think about too closely. 

   Felix has heard assistants complain long and often about how the building ought to be condemned, but he's always assumed them to be exaggerating. Right up to the moment his foot smashes through one of the rough hewn planks serving as stairs. It takes Felix a disproportionate amount of time to reach the top floor, as he carefully circumvents the more wobbly "steps", presumably held in place by magic, but not a particularly trustworthy sort. At the top of the winding staircase, he nudges what passes for a door open with his foot. The wood slab separates from the frame with a horrid screeching sound, swinging inward to reveal squalor Felix was previously unaware humans could live in.

    He gulps as he steps inside with exceptional caution. There a disconcerting number of burn-holes in the floorboards. The walls are covered in an uneven layer of green fuzz that on closer inspection appears to be the remains of old, peeling wall paper. There's a sofa in the great room that's predominately springs, and a simple unlikely mattress is the only furniture provided in each of the bedrooms. But even the thick layers of cobwebs decorating the corners isn't enough to kill Felix's growing excitement. It'll be work, but he's always been excellent at those household-y sort of spells, and it will give him something to occupy his time until Juniper arrives. Felix settles into his renovation project in higher spirits than he's had in months.

    Unable to wait for June to reveal the news to Juniper, Felix starts up their correspondence once more. He informs her he's found her a room on the Reserve, and mentions in passing that it's in the same flat as his, neglecting to illuminate any of the circumstances that have made such a happy coincidence possible. Juniper's response is as enthusiastic as he could have hoped. She makes the expected number of jokes about his newly reinstated status as her live-in prefect followed by a more serious assurance that she's "really glad" to be near him again. Felix is just worrying his cheekbones might fracture from the force of his smile when her next line forces the bottom out of his stomach.

    "I forgot to mention I have a friend who'll be coming to the Reserve this summer, as well! He got a job as a junior assistant the same time as me, so I imagine he'll be living near us if there's room. I've mentioned him before, not sure if you remember. Charlie Weasley?"

-

Chapter 10 | Masterpost

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Feminist Relevant Themes

<-Previous (Introduction)

To talk about Magia Record’s writing in detail, it helps to understand how the game is structured.

Magia Record has many story modes:

Main Story: The main plot, centered on new protagonist Iroha arriving in the city of Kamihama to search for her missing sister.  Everyone can read this at any time, and new chapters come out every few months.

Another Story: The events of the Main Story, but told from the point of view of the original Madoka Magica cast.  Also always available to everyone.

Magical Girl Stories: short stories centered on one specific magical girl - usually they tell the backstory of the girl’s wish.  Can only be watched after obtaining the character in the gacha.

Mirrors Story: A very slowly updated story unlocked by completing many player vs. player battles.  

Event Stories:  Short stories that come out roughly every two weeks.  Sometimes introduce a new character for the gacha, sometimes related to a seasonal holiday.  Playable to anyone around during the event (and will be stored in the archive afterwards).

Costume Stories:  Tiny story snippets involving a character wearing a special outfit.  Implemented one year in and unlocked by obtaining both the character and the outfit in question.

Good

Female Friendship

As with the better side of magical girl media, the game’s biggest feminist plus is its complex female characters and focus on female friendships, including some great examples of female mentors and role models.  The mechanics of the setting are even tweaked to facilitate this - gone is the TV series’ lonely, competitive system that isolated girls from each other.  Instead, in present-day Kamihama, witches are so strong and plentiful that magical girls are better off forming teams to support one another.  

While this change arguably waters down some of the thematic weight of the original (in that this isolation was another example of how Kyuubey’s system is an easy metaphor for other oppressive systems), I find it a worthy trade-off.  Allowing for magical girl teams to exist results in much richer possibilities for interactions between characters, especially welcome in a sprawling game with far more narrative content than a one-season anime.

And the game takes good advantage of this - no two magical girl teams are exactly alike, both in terms of internal dynamics and how they interact with other teams.

Doppels

The main gimmick of the game’s story is the existence of “doppels” - a mechanic where a magical girl partially transforms into her own witch to unleash a powerful attack.  And from gameplay to story to art, doppels are excellent.  They look cool and they’re rewarding to unlock and use in game.  From a feminist perspective, I also love the idea of reclaiming witches, the “adult” form of magical girls, into a source of salvation and empowerment for girls* instead of a curse.  On a meta-level, it echoes a common magical girl trope of the character transforming into an older version of herself, while specifically to Madoka Magica, it’s a creative way to dismantle the misogynistic implications of Kyuubey’s system!

(*There are supposedly drawbacks to doppels, but that bit of setting mostly serves to make them a ~dangerous forbidden technique~ that shouldn’t be overused.)

Struggling against class prejudice

The tensions between different wards of Kamihama are a key component of the setting, and affect many character interactions.  One aspect the Magical Girl Stories are good at is showing how arbitrary and hurtful this discrimination is, and how difficult it is to overcome prejudice once it has become entrenched.  It’s made abundantly clear that Kamihama would be a better city without these attitudes - the question is, how to get there?

A variety of careers

Several girls make wishes or have backstories centered on what they want to do when they grow up.  What’s especially neat is that most girls ask for the opportunity to follow their passions, rather than having a talent magically granted to them - thus avoiding the pitfall of having a female character’s abilities originate from a power granted by a male character.

The range of career interests depicted isn’t as amazing as it could be  (In a cast of 80+, I would love to have more than three girls representing STEM), but there’s some decent variety.  Many girls aspire to take over their parents’ family business, for example.

And even some characters who follow more seemingly feminine careers (a model, a chef, an artist, etc.) have serious narratives centered on the skill and effort needed to succeed in those highly competitive fields, which is quite refreshing to see.

Mixed

The many different ways to be a girl

The nice thing about having a large cast of female characters is that it gives plenty of opportunities to show how all of these characters are different.  And in general, Magia Record does very well on this front!  One aspect I’ve particularly been enjoying is the how the cast has widely varying tastes in fiction.  Yes, there are girls who like dreamy romances, but there are also girls who bond over their shared love of a hotblooded shounen series!  

Where this falls down somewhat is an overuse of “but look, she has a secret feminine interest.”  Sometimes this plot can work, if coming at it from the angle that superficial judgments can be misleading, or that there’s nothing wrong with having feminine interests.  But when all the more masculine-presenting girls end up with a hidden fondness for stuffed animals, the sheer repetition becomes rather irksome.  It’s as though the game feels the need to insist “but look, she really is a girl!” because the audience wouldn’t believe it without such a trait.

LGBTQ+ characters

In terms of LGBTQ+ content, the game feels rather similar to the original anime and other Madoka spinoffs.  That is to say, there are tons of shippable f/f pairings that get teased, but as of the present, only one new playable character (and a tiny sample of minor characters) are explicitly confirmed to be lesbians.  No trans or otherwise queer characters either, unfortunately.  (Though of course that’s not to stop a good interpretation or headcanon!)

However, as a whole, the game is oddly averse to showing the characters in active, healthy relationships.  One of the early frustrations I had with the new character’s portrayal was that the game’s one mutual gay relationship was never directly shown on-screen and gets broken up in favor of more ambiguous teasing.  That being said, all the het relationships are treated similarly, either never being confessed and requited or never getting shown on screen.  So… I suppose there’s not actually a double standard here, but players hoping for lots of canon yuri content might end up a bit disappointed.

Also, a note on Homura specifically - this game’s version is “glasses Homura,” who hasn’t realized she’s in love with Madoka yet.  So despite what you might expect given Rebellion, in Magia Record there’s nothing beyond heavy hints and ambiguously cute scenes between her and Madoka.

Characters with disabilities

A few characters in the game have difficulty speaking.  It’s not made clear if this is a speech impediment or something like social anxiety (or autism - I know I’ve seen headcanons for that).  There is some depiction of these characters getting bullied, but in each case the character ultimately finds a group of friends who love and support them as they are.

After two years, now there is technically a magical girl who uses a wheelchair. (And it’s a cool custom wheelchair too!)  Unfortunately I hesitate to count this as a full positive, because shortly after she appears in it, the character becomes unable to transform and fight for an unrelated reason, so we haven’t seen her in battle since.  But who knows - the story’s still moving forward on the Japanese server, and there’s likely to be more content with her in the future.

At the end of the day, though, this is a setting with magic wishes and healing effects.  Thus, it’s very common for girls to wish to cure someone’s illness, or to use their abilities as a magical girl to cure themselves, which can easily fall into ableist tropes.

College age magical girls

Yes, really!  Although even the oldest characters are only nineteen.  However, there’s also a subplot about how two of the nineteen-year-olds are losing power because they’re older, which… hm. The message that we all need to accept passing the torch to the next generation is generally a valuable and good one.  Aiming it at older teen girls just on the verge of adulthood is where the implications nosedive into unfortunate.  Young girls already get far too many messages that their worth is entirely dependent on their youth/beauty/innocence and that it’s better to stay a “girl” than to be a fully grown “woman.”

The entire reason it’s exciting to see college age magical girls in the first place is that even now, it’s rare to see adult women as protagonists in these types of fantasy adventures.  By introducing these young adult characters only to caveat their inclusion with“they’re getting too old to be here”, it puts a very sour note on what’s otherwise a welcome expansion of the Madoka Magica universe.

(It’s also hilariously contradictory to other spin offs in the Madoka Magica franchise, including the implications of the anime canon itself, so… whoops?)

Bad

Lack of diversity

(Particularly racial diversity.)

The only non-Japanese magical girls are from the pre-existing Tart Magica spin-off set in medieval France… and Meiyui.  (And maybe Alina.)

Meiyui is a complicated case - her family has ties to both Japan and Hong Kong.  Meiyui herself is a fun character, but she also ticks a lot of the checkboxes for a Japanese stereotype of a Chinese person (a la Xiao Mei in Fullmetal Alchemist).  As a white person only familiar with US culture, it’s not my place to make a judgement call here, but I’d love to hear from someone who knows more!  

The largest disappointment, though, is in wondering what might have been.  The Madoka Magica anime implied that there are magical girls all over the globe from every different time and culture, so the game’s narrow focus on one modern Japanese city greatly limits the setting from its full potential.  And even within that limitation, the sheer homogeneity of the new cast is starting to get awkwardly same-y.  

The arc two’s logo teases what might be girls from several other backgrounds, though, so perhaps this will improve in the very near future.  Of course, success will depend on the writers’ abilities to handle other cultures.  Which, when given the example of Meiyui, might actually be cause for concern...

Revolutionary Girl Utena, this ain’t

In a game full of decent-to-good backstories, you’ll sometimes hit an unfortunate and very disappointing outlier.  

My personal least favorite is the victim-blaming one mentioned in the content warnings.  Another low point is a story where a girl frantically diets as a response to another girl’s comments about her weight.

Then there’s the backstory the above picture comes from.  It involves a girl who has to drop out of sports because her next school only has a boy’s team - and instead of challenging this situation, it’s the inspiration for her to discover she’s actually happier as a cheerleader anyway.  Hm.  

This last case is actually pretty emblematic of the game as a whole.  Whoever’s doing the writing (the credited scenario team is four people, and from the names at least two might be women?) mostly seems to mean well, but they occasionally step hard into the -isms that come from not actually thinking about the problems with the status quo.

So the game isn’t typically hateful, but it doesn’t push the envelope in any revolutionary directions either.  As a result - and it feels weird to say this, but - I really miss having Urobuchi as the writer.  Sure, his writing had its own problems, but in comparison, it was at least genuinely thought-provoking.  The way that even the adult female characters got complexity and screentime, that whole conversation between Sayaka and the misogynistic men on the train, the compelling exploration of consent and determination that underlies the whole anime – even six years later, these aspects hold up and stand out.

Magia Record is an inversion – far more pleasant on the surface, but without the backbone and depth that made the original so thematically intriguing despite all the suffering.

Next (Other Writing Aspects)->

[etiennedatiwa]

Deconstruction: the journey of a year long process of discovering myself.

Wassup. For those who don’t know, my name is Tiwa and this is my first serious blog post. Let me introduce myself. I’m a 21 year old Nigerian-British boy from London and I’m about to finish my Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering. I’m an avid book reader and I also love video games, hip hop and pop culture. It’s nice to meet you.

Now that’s out of the way, I want to get straight to the point of this blog post. I’m gonna be describing how things have been going for me faith wise over the last year or so. Deconstruction. That’s an interesting word. It can be defined in various different ways. Here’s a definition: “A philosophical movement and theory of literary criticism that questions traditional assumptions about certainty, identity, and truth.” In a sense, it involves questioning traditional beliefs that you have grown up with and questioning the values that have basically shaped your entire identity.

I grew up in a Pentecostal African church. There was a big emphasis on dancing, singing and prophecy. We believed in the manifestations of spiritual gifts, i.e. the speaking and interpretation of tongues, prophecy, healing etc. We believed in the moving of the Holy Spirit and I would see people fall down in their seats, scream, shake etc. When I think about it, I was always slightly creeped out by the screaming lmao. Growing up, everything was very much black and white for me. We believed in the strict interpretation of the bible, we had long church services (why are 3+ hours service a thing? That’s a nightmare for this VERY introverted boy.) It was pretty much the same thing when I entered university minus the long services. I went to an Evangelical church and I loved serving on the worship team, I loved helping around when I could.

But…. there was a lot of emotional turmoil that I was dealing with. Firstly, being one of the only black people (especially young adults) was very isolating. I felt like an outsider because of the cultural differences of being an ethnic minority. Then over time issues of race began to come up. I’d never experienced any racism growing up in South London as I was raised amongst diverse groups of people. Coming to Middlesbrough, my eyes were opened and I was so shocked. But, that’s a story for another time. I realised I had assimilated to mainstream church culture.

I got saved (the moment you accept Jesus into your life as we do in Pentecostalism) when I was 16 back in 2013 and I experienced so much joy. I’d never experienced so much love like the way Jesus had and still loves me. I’ve had struggles obviously, but I’ve grown as a person. My Christianity was very much black and white and I never realised until last year (2018) how much of a bubble I lived in.

Therein lies my issue with Evangelicalism. The literal strict interpretation of the Bible causes more harm than good and it has done so much harm to women through the Purity culture (think “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”), the lack of social justice and to simply “preach the gospel”. I’d been raised in fundamentalism and my whole world shattered when I began to read about the experiences of LGBT Christians who were raised in strict Evangelical families. It started last summer when I read “Undivided” which is a memoir of Vicky Beeching detailing her experience growing up as a lesbian within mainstream church culture. She was a popular worship leader who came out a few years ago and she ended up losing everything… all because she decided to stop hiding who she truly was. It was a tough read and it completely changed how I saw my faith.

The Evangelical Church’s lack of empathy when it came to social justice and the way it treated the LGBT community. Not to mention the obsession with evangelism in the way of hellfire preaching, sales pitch evangelism etc. I’m an introvert and the whole going out and speaking to people about Jesus is scary. I prefer developing good relationships and having conversations about faith naturally as the relationship develops. I realised I no longer fit in to church culture. I’ve always felt like an outsider. I never fit in amongst the other guys at school who were sporty, I preferred to read instead. I get along with girls much better than I do with guys. I never quite fit in in my own Nigerian community. I was an anomaly.

Everything changed for me. I saw how problematic Evangelicalism was and I could no longer subscribe to many of the Christian beliefs I had grown up with. I’m no longer a fundamentalist. Unlearning so much toxic theology has been painful. I wasn’t sure what I would have left. But I’m thankful for two of my best friends who are Catholic who went through similar journeys as they transitioned away from Protestantism. They introduced me to the Coptic Orthodox book of Prayers known as the Agpeya and Church Fathers and these have changed my spiritual life. I finally became comfortable with being myself. Western Christianity wasn’t the ONLY way to do Christianity and I was overjoyed because I could never live up to the Evangelical standard. I realise there’s nothing wrong with having doubts and questioning and these keep us open to the revelations of God. An album that helped me during my deconstruction and reconstruction phase was “I: the Arrow” by rapper Andy Mineo which describes his own journey through doubt in his faith.

I still haven’t figured everything out yet, but I’m okay with that. I’m still somewhat a Pentecostal but I’m free from all the toxic and anxiety inducing rules Western Christianty caused me. As Andy Mineo said on “…Lost”: when I get above those clouds, I know that’s the Sun’s Out. I’ll be alright. I’m free to be Tiwa.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Hey, I saw you were doing headcanon stuff! So, I have this like burgeoning headcanon that Josh x Donna's first daughter is wlw. I don't know if you build off of other people's headcanons, but this one has been with me for a long time, and you are such a talented writer and storyteller in general that I thought maybe you'd be interested in taking a crack out of this very specific headcanon?!? I've just been projecting a lot of brainpower towards it and I want to talk to someone else about it!

Okay, so first, all my future headcanons for TWW spring from this original post that’s gotten around a bit. I’ve written a tiny bit of kidfic using them as well so I decided to connect yours to mine because tbh I love this idea and heck yeah, at least one of their daughters should be queer :D that’s just way more fun than if they’re both straight.

So, given what I’d already sorted out for the future, here are my thoughts. There are oh so many ideas behind the cut because apparently I can’t sleep but I can create a bunch of people out of thin air.

Their eldest daughter, Brianna Joan, started insisting everyone call her ‘Jo’ when she was five. They were both surprised by her stubbornness on the matter, but Josh was secretly pleased since her middle name was a tribute to his sister. Donna assumed it was a phase she would grow out of, like a lot of kids when they’re young and establishing their independence. She didn’t–and Jo later believed it was the first hint that she was never meant to be the girly daughter they might have expected.

Charlotte inherited her mother’s grace under pressure, along with her dancer’s form and creative flexibility. While Jo had Donna’s sass and sense of humor, she shared her dad’s brown hair and eyes, constant need to be in motion, and impulsive streak. Josh liked to say Jo got his athletic prowess, too, but Donna always countered with ‘your what now?’ and made the girls laugh. Jo surpassed him in sports talent by junior high, thanks in no small part to coaching by Charlie’s not-so-little-anymore sister Deena.

Junior high and high school were rough, especially girl’s softball and basketball. The rumors and slurs about which girls were probably gay because they were a little too good on the court or the mound bothered her, especially when she got sick of her unruly hair and cut it off at fourteen and the kids started aiming them at her…but it was hard to do the right thing and stand up to them when she was starting to wonder if maybe they were right.

The first crush she developed on an older, female student that she actually admitted to herself was a crush happened a year later, when she was trying to survive her entrance into high school. She came out to her best friend at sixteen and felt bad that she didn’t tell her parents first, but her dad was still working with the White House occasionally during his “retirement,” and her mom was starting her campaign for Congress, and the last thing Jo wanted to do was make that harder.

It wasn’t like she thought they’d be upset, or disappointed in her, exactly. But a tiny part of her did have doubts, after a couple of her friends had come out to their liberal parents and hit a cruel wall of family double-standards. Surely Josh Lyman and Donna Moss, champions of progressive causes, wouldn’t be that way…she hoped.

Just to be safe, Jo told them the week after her mom won her Congressional campaign, when it would cause the least trouble if they did freak out. Donna wasn’t surprised, not even a little, and only shared her worries at night with Josh. She knew how hard it was to be a woman in the world, and it could only be more painful for their eldest facing additional discrimination on top of that. “We just have to love her even harder,” Donna whispered, “and hope it’ll be enough.”

Unlike his wife, Josh was–as always–oblivious. Jo coming out was big surprise, but one he was happy about. She trusted them enough to tell them, and include them in her confusing teenage life. Surely that meant they were on the right track. “And hey,” he offered up in the initial shock of her disclosure, “I can’t exactly blame her. Women…are great. I’m a big fan. Of them.”

Just like he did with all the girl’s activities over the years, from dance to soccer, Josh threw himself into being a parental ally until he annoyed Jo with his enthusiasm. PFLAG, marches, fundraisers, sponsoring local clubs���"which one of us is gay again?” she would mutter to her sister with an eyeroll sometimes, out of earshot of the DC dad with the rainbow t-shirt passing out mini flags.

She was grateful though, especially after she survived college, and law school, and volunteered at a nonprofit that exposed her to so many kids whose parents didn’t care if they lived or died, simply because of who they turned out to be. Josh started getting handmade cards for his birthday and Father’s Day every year, filled with Jo’s illegible handwriting–that, he knew, she definitely didn’t get from him–telling him how much she loved and appreciated him. He put them on the fridge next to the sketches her little sister sent, like they were both still in grade school. Donna teased him about that, but whenever their friends visited she was the first one to casually point them out.

In the family, Charlotte was the only one that ever gave Jo any grief about her sexuality. It was mostly sibling sniping, because Charlotte was quieter than her sister but even more competitive, and she was never quite able to catch up with the three year gap between them. Still, it made Jo uncomfortable in her late teens because she and her baby sister were always so close growing up, and she couldn’t tell if the snark was coming from someplace deeper. When Charlie was fifteen, she got a week’s suspension for breaking a boy’s nose after he called her valedictorian sister a slur she refused to repeat to anyone. Jo worried less after that, and the sarcastic comments never happened again.

Toby’s son Huck came out as bisexual in college, and Jo joined his twin sister in being his closest support system while he braced for his parents’ reactions. There was a lot of hugging, and some knowing looks between Toby and Josh when the kids weren’t paying attention, and Huck had to pay Jo twenty bucks because she promised it would go over fine and he was certain it would be a disaster. He never learned to love the Yankees but he shared his father’s temperament from an early age. He and Charlie dated briefly in their twenties, causing a minor scandal to ripple through the connected families.

CJ’s daughter Nora, who was like a distant cousin Jo never got to visit enough in sunny California, only allowed the family to use her full name. She got a lot of weird looks when strangers overheard, or friends found out how old-fashioned it was, but Jo liked to call her by it anyway when they chatted. She never got to meet her dad’s mentor, and she thought based on the stories she’d heard that he would be embarrassed but proud to learn that Claudia Jean named her firstborn Leonora after she left the White House.

Nora was the one who introduced Jo to her future wife, an architect based out of Sacramento with an independent streak and temper that secretly reminded Josh of one of his exes. Unlike him and Amy, Jo and her fiance were a happy fit, sharing similar political beliefs but no professional rivalry. They spent as much time at home swapping stories and advice about their demanding careers as they did on community activism. Jo mellowed out a little after they got married–”she’s so much like you,” Donna told Josh with a smile–and they moved five times in three years before buying a house and starting their attempts to have a family.

That was the first time Jo ever really surprised her mom, who cried when she found out they were expecting. “I thought…you never talked about wanting kids,” Donna said carefully, and Jo just grinned that bright grin that was so much like her father’s. “I needed some time,” she told her mom, “to figure out what I wanted. But I think that if I manage to be half as good at it as you were, I’ll be an amazing mom.”

Josh and Donna bantered anxiously in the waiting room while each of their eldest daughter’s three kids came into the world. Two she gave birth to, and one she didn’t. They spoiled them all the same.

And when Charlotte brought the Lyman-Moss legacy back to the White House, Jo’s youngest son got to hunt Easter Eggs on the lawn. He stood next to his aunt during the photo op, just one of a dozen kids surrounding the first female President of the United States.

[green-tea-is-love]

Izuocha Week Day 3: Quirks

Hello, I’m doing a lil different thing for the Quirks prompt for IzuOcha Week (which is also why its so late sry) 😅

THE KIDS.

We both know the otps quirks and their capabilities but I wanted to explore their future kids. Given Inko’s, her husband’s and Ochako’s quirks, I find it very interesting how I can pick apart and create quirk mutations; Sort of like a quirk within a quirk that would happen naturally… Ok well, let me introduce my otp children OCs *cry* pls don’t judge me.

More art, doodles and descriptions below the “Read More”

I��m going to go backwards and introduce the youngest one first: Reiko “Rei” Midoriya

Features:

Reiko is the youngest child being 3 years younger than her older and only brother, Hiroaki. She is daddy’s little girl and shares his freckles on her cheeks as well as a few on her nose. Reiko has her mama’s eyes but the rest is her dad (or so he likes to say so). Her hair is a combination of both her parents where, when long, it’s straight and then gets busy and curly towards the ends. Her bangs are uncontrollable and she likes to wear headbands.

Personality:

Reiko is a very bright and happy little girl. She is bubbly and energetic but she can quickly turn a 180 and “spit fire” (pun intended) and can have a sassy attitude when things don’t go her way. Ochako blames Deku for spoiling her too much… overall, she’s mostly sweet and loving and a big pacifist and will often times protect her older Brother from some of his bullies he encounters.

Quirk:

Fire breath/Fire manipulation/Pyrokinesis Though she never met her grandfather, Reiko ended up getting his fire-like quirk. She can emit fire from within and, in her later years, when she experiments her abilities she finds she also has a fire manipulation ability (it takes her years to be able to keep her fire aflame for a certain period of time). Only downfall is it has to be her own flames; however, later, depending on how big of a fire and with enough training, if she mixes her fire with another’s she can be able to manipulate the entire thing. Her highest level is when she is able to create blue fire and manipulate that.

Alright next we explore the eldest kiddo.

First child: Hiroaki Toshinori Midoriya

Features: 

Hiroaki has a lot of his mama in him. He shares her eyebrows, the round face (in his younger years) and her hair color. He has his dads freckles just around his nose. His hair texture is a cross between his parents…Oh and he also shares his mama’s “cat” like pads on his left hand only. 

^^some older “cool” hair Toshi when he enters high school

Personality:

Toshi is a sweet, smart, and shy boy. Very similar to his father in his days of school. He is a very loving and affectionate kid and would do whatever he can to help anyone in need. He inherited his mother’s quirk but for some reason he has the pads on his left hand only. Because of this, he struggles emotionally and has a lot of self doubts into becoming a hero of his parents caliber (since both his parents are elite pro hero’s and high standards are placed on his shoulders). He is also bullied because he only inherited “half” of his moms quirk, nothing from his dad, and also because he’s “too weak his lil sister has to save him”. In his teens, he discovers something about his quirk and that’s where his boost of confidence into heroism starts.

Quirk:

Zero-Gravity/telekinesis:

When Toshi’s quirk first manifested he only understood that he received his mom’s quirk. The only difference was he only has the pads on his left hand. This in turn led to him believing he was given the short end of the stick for most of his youth until he discovers a small but very vital detail; alongside pulling an objects gravitational force, he can also pull or push objects kinetically (with the exception of living things). So he ended up inheriting a mutation/hybrid of his mom’s and grandma’s quirk and it carried a potential far greater than he could ever imagine. His telekinetic ability was very minor at first and takes a LOT of energy both mental and physical because it takes a lot of focus, concentration and a strong, confident will to use it efficiently; He cannot perform correctly and is weakened if he is in distress, distracted,and at a loss of willpower/confidence. It’s pretty common to find him “napping” in odd places and positions around the high school (He is often mistaken as a lazy and unmotivated by his peers). Overall, he possesses a pretty powerful quirk that he will have to learn to control (just like his dad with his quirk).

I can go on and on with these two but I’ll save you the time. Lol also my brain is pretty fried typing this all out. I hope you like these two, they are my babies too 😳

Thank you for reading this far. <3 <3

[queen-asante]

What is the purpose of Sarah’s character? What is her role in Ed, Edd n Eddy?

As great at it is, with a predominantly male-centric cast, EEnE doesn’t exactly lend itself to producing amazing female characters. That’s not to say the female characters are bad, but with the exception of the Kanker sisters, they’re not the most memorable or popular among fans. Despite this, Sarah is perhaps the most developed of the female cast. Is she three-dimensional? Not necessarily, but she gets the most screen time out of all the female ‘‘leads’‘. Wemeet her first before any of the other kids in the pilot episode, and thoughSeason 1 mainly focuses on the development of the Eds, Sarah is the only minorcharacter who gets the most screen time, as she is Ed’s sister. As theseasons progress, we are introduced more to the other kids, therefore, we see lessof her, and every time she makes an appearance, she doesn’t really change. Justbecause she’s the first cul-de-sac kid introduced, that doesn’t mean she’s particularlya great character. She is usually, if not always, violent and screaming herhead off in every scene she dominates, especially if her brother, Ed, is around,so there’s not much to say about her. It’s understandable why she is the leastpopular character, even less popular than Jimmy. For all of Jimmy’s annoyingtraits, he has his redeeming qualities, he has a three dimensional personality,and I’ve come to like him a lot. It is interesting, nonetheless, that she assumesa more ‘’masculine’’ role in her relationship to Jimmy, whom she fiercelynurtures and protects (more on that later). Though she’s not very likeable, Ido enjoy Sarah’s development in BigPicture Show, where she reveals more of her vulnerable side. Like Kevin,she’s the most interesting when she’s at her weakest.

I feel that the production team of EEnE tried a little too hard to make a Sarah a super strong, badass female character, and for that, she comes across as bland and one-dimensional. When we define ‘‘Strong Female Character’‘, she doesn’t necessarily need to be wielding a machine gun to be considered tough (*cough*SandyCheeks*cough*). I always liked the rare moments where Sarah lets her guard down, where she lets real emotion, other than anger, seep through. But it seems as though they weren’t interested in making her anything more than her bratty little sister cliche, and it’s a crying shame. I feel they could have done a lot more with her character. If only we had seen more moments from Big Picture Show… real vulnerable moments, more subtlety, less of her resorting to violence. Even when she’s frightened out of her wits, she displays real courage, and I applaud her character development in such an encore.

It’s too bad it ended the series, because we finally see some of the female characters do more for a change. That being said, the limited image of ‘‘Strong Female Character’‘ has become problematic. Sure, I love to see Sarah beat the living crap out of the boys sometimes, but to me, a ‘‘Strong Female Character’‘ shouldn’t be defined by this:

…as much as this:

That doesn’t mean a girl can’t kick some serious ass with a bow and arrow, but I don’t think a woman’s emotions lessens her as a character in any way. In fact, it’ll make her more human and relatable, it’ll allow her to break away from the Trinity Syndrome.

Take Millie Dillmount from Thoroughly Modern Millie for example. It may be a product of its time–the film came out in the ‘60s after all. Forinstance, none of the women in the show pass the Bechdel Test, but I don’t think Millie is a bad female character. Some may critisise her because she doesn’t run around with big guns, and the only thing that motivates her is love. Name any ofMillie’s ‘’I Want’’ or ‘’I Am’’ ballads, and they’re all about finding asuitable husband, falling in love, or ‘’forget about the boy’’. There’s nothingwrong with that of course, as a woman’s desire to fall in love and get marriedis not a defect in her character, and it certainly does not make her weak, butwhen a character is only defined by her desire to get laid, she’s only a modernwoman by 1922standards. Which is the point. We wouldn’t want Millie to be too ahead of her time. She wouldn’t bethinking like a woman of 2018, after all, and it’s made clear that in 1922,she’s more modern than most. She wants to be a career woman, and she leaves hersmall town of Kansas to become independent in New York City, which was frownedupon in her time. It’s also worth noting that she’s 29 when she decides shedoesn’t want to end up like her mother, a housewife popping babies at 18. Inher day, she’s considered an old maid. The musical may sound dated, as the purpose is to remain ‘’authentic’’ to the era, but does authenticity mean that Westernignorance of other cultures and sexism should be celebrated? (Pastiche not parody.) But because Millie’s main goal is to fall in love, does that make her a weaker female character than the likes of Lara Croft?

The point is, let us not scrutinise female characters who want to fall in love…

…who want to be mothers and have children…

…who want to doll themselves up…

…who want to wear makeup…

…and look pretty…

This does not make them weaker female characters.

They don’t need to be this:

To be this: