#when they first meet kara sees her as this And a manifestation of his sort of ideal of masculinity. butches always winning etc etc

[wewerebornsextuplets]

thinking about the kiru and kara dynamic again. in particular karas view of her is very amusing to me

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Lena, Paragon of Humanity (a Supercorp alt. Crisis story), Part 1 of 2

[Warning for blood, violence, assault & battery, character death (temporary, but not resolved in this installment)]

---

Appearing on the Waverider and being declared the Paragon of Humanity is a shock for Lena in and of itself. If she had her preference, she'd be back on the Legion ship helping the so-called superfriends than be here among strangers facing an insurmountable challenge. 

But that shock wanes when-- with a sharp twist of the knife still lodged between them-- Kara volunteers even more information. "There's something you should know--" "Hey, sis." Ever the slave to his congenital need for dramatic flair, Lex thwarts Kara's voluntary truth for a second time by strolling into the too-bright room, hands tucked in his pockets with a shit-eating grin. "Miss me?"

Lena's blood runs cold as she stares, stunned, at the apparition of her brother. She's allowed a single heartbeat to wonder if the verse-warp scrambled her brains. There's no precedent that she knows of for reality jumping on the scale she'd just used-- sudden onset schizophrenia isn't beyond the realm of possibility. 

But Kara's jaw tightens irritably at his entrance, a confirmation that she sees the apparition as well, and her deep loathing for the ghost walking among them. "The Monitor revived him," Supergirl tells her, an explanation that explains nothing. "I don't know why but--" "I killed him, Kara," Lena whispers. "I swear to god I shot him in the chest I watched him bleed out--" "Never been more proud of you, ace," Lex supplies, with a grin that would almost be genuine if not for razors edge lurking beneath it. "It's rare that anything surprises me, but you did. Brava." Kara grips Lena by the hands and tugs her into the corridor, out of Lex's line of sight. As soon as his spell is broken, Lena's capable of conscious thought again, and she pulls away with a muttered curse, this time not meant for the hero. "What the fuck is he doing here," Lena demands, anger overwhelming her shock. She clings to it for dear life, because she's afraid of what will be left if it fades. Nothing, is what she fears. "What the fuck, what the FUCK," she mutters all the way down the corridor to the lab she'd first arrived in. "What the fuck, Kara!" "I know," Kara says quietly, having followed her pace for pace. "I almost killed him myself, but the Monitor says--" "Lex Luthor is still of use," the Monitor delivers himself, appearing in a flare of white light. "Fuck you," Lena snarls at the stranger, too angry and too shattered to be daunted by the display of extranormal abilities. Seven billion people on Earth-38 about to die, and you chose HIM?! A literal monster?!" "His resurrection was necessary--" "Anything he can do, I can do better. If you have me, you don't need him." But the Monitor is not swayed. "Neither of you alone can undo what has been done. If you are to return the universe to its rightful form, you must set aside the bygones--" "Bygones?" Lena exclaims. She shakes her head. "No. In fact, set aside this: your 'paragon of humanity' refuses to stand in the same room as him, let alone work with him. Either he goes, or I go." In the end, it's Kara who smoothes things over. She gestures for the Monitor to let her have a shot, and he disappears to give them a moment of privacy. Lena braces herself heavily against the console with both hands, trembling with more than just fury. When Kara finally gets a glimpse of her face, it's heavy with despair. "All those people," Lena whispers. "All those people, and he's the one who cheats death." "I know it's not fair..." "We don't know if James made it to a ship," Lena says abruptly. Her eyes close against sudden tears. "Boarding was such chaos, there's no passenger manifest for any of the ships that made it through. No one knows if he made it." Kara's heart lurches, but she remains calm. Strong. She places a warm hand on Lena's shoulder, and to her surprise, Lena doesn't pull away. "If what the Monitor says is true... if you can bring the universe back-- don't you think it'll be worth it? You're his sister..." Lena doesn't respond right away, and when she does her voice shakes for a whole other reason. "All my life, I was an orphan. But I wasn't. I was Kara Danver's best friend," she mutters, half under her breath. "But I'm not. Then I was the woman who murdered her own brother. But now I'm not even that anymore." Lena shrugs. "If I'm none of those anymore...what else am I?" But Kara doesn't say that. She curls a hand around Lena's wrist, silently willing to look at her. "You're Lena Luthor," she tells her friend, offering a small but genuine smile. "And you're still all of those things. For better or for worse. And you're still my best friend. That never changed, Lena." Lena shakes her head against the claim, but her fingers grip Kara's tighter. With a soft huff, she straightens to face the challenge at hand. "Right. I still killed my brother in cold blood," she says, her voice sharpening into a new edge, "and that's not a thing Lex Luthor forgets. Has your Monitor considered the fact that he'll return the favor the first chance he gets? His still of use Lex Luthor will murder his paragon of humanity?" Kara wraps Lena in a firm hug, one that Lena finds herself returning after a moment of silent hesitation. She's still angry, her chest still hurts with the ache of Kara's lies, but their world was just destroyed, and Lena's identity feels like it's following on Earth-38's heels, and the warm circle of Kara's arms feel like the only thing keeping her atoms together. "I won't let that happen," Kara vows. "I promise." However intimate their moment of reunion, it's still the end of the world, and at the end of the world heroes and paragons have greater duties than promises to each other. While Lena works with Lex in the lab, Kara and the remaining paragons fulfill their own roles. It pulls Kara away from her watch dog duties, pitting her against the anti-monitor while Lena finds a way to restore the multi-verse. The solution is relatively simple. They have the Book of Destiny, but not someone guaranteed to survive the encounter with their sanity intact. Of course, Lena has someone who can. Hope. Lena and Lex restore the AI saved on the thumbdrive, and then divide & conquer to alter Hope's programming while generating a means to let her interface with the Book of Destiny. Lena suspects that the ordeal will fry Hope completely (along with every other electrical component in the lab, if not the entire ship) but Hope is ready and willing. It is what she was created to do. Working with Lex while being completely devoid of any softness towards him is a new experience for Lena. Her wariness gives her new independence, and allows her to interact with him on equal footing. Their banter is familiar, but sharp, and her new ease with herself gives Lena a new sort of comfort. It feels almost... normal. When Hope is ready and Lena pushes the button, she and Lex are alone on the ship. The others have taken a jump ship to face the anti-monitor directly, and honestly, Lena believes it's their best chance for survival, considering that even if their plan works, the energy wave from the Book of Energy could tear the ship apart. The surge of energy rocks through the ship. Sparks fly, the lights go dark, and it's a long moment before Lena can believe they're still alive. "Gideon?" It takes a long while, but Gideon comes back online with a garbled voice but some external sensory capability. "All matter-based realities have been restored." Elation bubbles up inside Lena, and she turns to Lex with a broad grin that shines with triumph. "It worked! We did--" She turns into her brother's fist as he shoves it deep into her abdomen. The blow knocks the breath from her, and Lena's ears ring as she slowly comes to the realization that Lex hasn't punched her. Fists clutching at his lapels, Lena turns her gaze down between them, where his hand curls around the bloody hilt of the knife protruding from between her ribs. She gasps, staggering, only to be steadied by her brother's gentle grip. "You did it, ace," he delivers. His voice is devoid of emotion-- of rage, of pride, of hate. His tone is perfectly congenial, and it chills Lena to the bone. "I knew you would. And now that you've served your purpose--" With a vicious tug, Lex pulls the knife from her flesh. A grunt pulls from Lena's throat, only to be strangled once more when Lex plunges it back in. "No one will miss you." When Lena sags, Lex props her up, tipping her chin up so their eyes meet. She stares into his fathomless gaze as it regards her with disdain. "The Paragon of Humanity," he sneers, but then softens with rationality. "I suppose it's fitting. You certainly embody all that it is to be human. Fallible. Weak. Governed by emotion." Each point is punctuated with another thrust. Each one drives more of the breath from Lena's chest, until she has nothing in her but an empty hollow. "You are alone, Lena," Lex murmurs in her ear, holding her close. "And more than that, you are mortal." With a final twist of the knife, Lex rips the blade free and tosses it aside. It clatters into the shadows, far beyond her reach. He releases Lena as well. A small shove sends Lena staggering against the console, but her efforts to catch herself are immediately thwarted by hands that grip her head and slam it against the pedestal. Lena hits the ground blindly, her sight stolen by the darkness and ebbing consciousness. Lex's foot slams into her belly. Once. Twice. And then there's utter stillness, broken only by Lena's own grunting gasps for air. "I congratulate your tenacity, Lena. Watching you pulling that trigger-- it was the most Luthor I'd ever seen in you." Lex crouches beside her, stroking the side of her head. Lena doesn't even have the strength to flinch from his touch. "When I negotiated your survival in exchange for availing my services to the Monitor, I won't pretend that it wasn't because I needed your intellect. You are truly brilliant. The efficiency of your mind, your intuitive leaps of logic-- you've come a long way from the little girl I taught to play chess." Lena blinks against the throbbing of her skull, dislodging the tears that have gathered on her lashes. They drip across the bridge of her nose, and fall soundlessly to the floor. Her brother's fingers brush the hair from her temple, smearing blood across her skin. After a moment, his hand tightens cruelly. Her mind has disconnected from from her body-- Lena imagines she can see herself as Gideon must: a pathetic, pile of flesh and bone bleeding out under the heel of a monster. But then her imagined gaze catches on the dark shadow encircling her own wrist: a watch. The beacon. She watches her fingers reach blindly for the watch face, and then blinks back into her body just in time to see her brother offer one last kindness. "In the spirit of that efficiency," he delivers smoothly, "know that I would never condemn to you outlive your purpose." Just as the tip of her finger brushes the sigil on her watch, Lex picks her head up with both hands and slams it against the floor. There's no pain. No fear. There's absolutely nothing. --- Kara returns to the Waverider with victory in her throat. Their communications with the ship have been disrupted, but they can see that it's still intact, and when they dock, the newly awakened hope inside expects to find Lena on the far side of the door. What they find instead is a dark and empty ship, utterly silent save for the ear-splitting alarm only Kara can hear. "Lena." Her heart pounds thunderously, pulsing against her vision as she strains to look through the bulkheads that stand between the docking bays and the lab. The energy wave has disrupted something in the make up of the metal hull-- Kara can't see through it. She starts to run, panic overtaking her as she realizes that the only heart she can hear beating over the beacon's shriek is her own. The lab's door won't open-- sabotaged by Lex on his way out. Kara punches through it with her entire body, and the metal tears like aluminum foil under the impact. Inside she finds silence, blood, and Lena. Kara knows before her hands make contact that she's too late. Lena's too pale, too silent, and when Kara scoops Lena's upper body into her lap, her friend's body feels empty. "No," Kara's vocie shakes. "No, no, no, Lena, please..." A flash of light pierces the darkness, and the Monitor appears, his features grim and impassable. Kara glares up at him through her tears, her anger reaching for its only available target. "She told you this would happen..." she croaks. "SHE TOLD YOU!" A blast of heat vision crackles ineffectively against his breastplate. The rest of the crew fills in around him, and murmurs of dismay cloud the air around them, shocked at the violence visited on one of their own on the cusp of victory. "She told you," Kara echoes, hugging Lena close to her chest, "and you still insisted on keeping her killer here. Because his use outweighed the threat he posed." "Lena Luthor's loss is tragic," the Monitor intones, bending to one knee to meet Kara's gaze. "But she fulfilled her purpose, as did her brother." "Yeah, but it's her brother who gets to keep breathing?" Kate demands, catching Kara's anger and fueling it with her own. "Where's the justice in that?" "Lena dealt the first blow," comes the flat reply. "I am not responsible for the actions between mortals--" Kate grabs him by the cowl and hauls him up, away from Kara. Away from Lena. Scowling, she shakes her head. "This time you are! YOU brought him back, YOU insisted on keeping him alive! Lex may have been the one to murder her, but Lena's blood is on your hands too." "Kate," Kara breathes, her chest quaking with the effort to keep her wits about her. "The book... bring me the book." An electric surge of hope surges in Kate's chest, and she releases the Monitor to sweep towards the interface, where the book lies under a neat of sensors and wires. Just as she reaches for it, it dematerializes like so much ether. "What the fuck--" She whirls to face the Monitor, who draws himself unapologetically to his full height. "The Book of Destiny cannot erase the sins of the mortal world. It's power is too dangerous--" Kara coughs a laugh, her cheeks streaming with tears. "Lena used that book to save the universe. ALL the universes. She of all people--" "I am sorry for your loss," the Monitor cuts in. "But my task is now complete. It is time for me and the book to remove ourselves from the timeline, before reality is forever altered." "No, wait--!!" He disappears without another word, leaving Kate to tackle nothing but air, and Kara reaching for a hope just out of reach. They stare at the vacated space he'd just inhabited, and not for the first time wonder if they'd been helping a good guy after all. It certainly doesn't seem like it, when the engineer of their salvation lays dead in her hero's arms. Kara's features fall, a mask of stunned and empty disbelief. For long minutes no moves. No one speaks. Finally, Kara numbly reaches for the watch on Lena's wrist. Her fingers brush cold skin on their way to the el mayarah still pulsing with a faint glow. With a single press, the sound in Kara's ears cut out, silencing the beacon for the last time.

[archadianskies]

The livestream was a GIFT here’s a short compilation of Neil’s character building for Kamski and Reed:

Elijah Kamski:

Neil actually read for Gavin first but David gave him the script for Elijah and he read him on the spot

‘He makes people because he can’t relate to people’ 

He’s not good with animals because he doesn’t like their unpredictability so he prefers to make them instead (ie the zoo animals)

Hyper intelligent with no social skills

Thinks of himself as a deity gifting androids with free will (secretly) and hopes they exercise it because it will be proof he created life 

Isn’t a villain but a neutral figure that secretly hopes for deviancy manifesting in his creations

Neil developed two very different body languages for Kamski vs Reed and describes Kamski as being incredibly deep and focused with a lot of nuance

'i think like a father, he wants his androids to surpass what he's given them'

Neil thinks he has Resting Psycho Face which helped with Kamski (Bryan disagrees and says he has perfect angles while he himself has Resting Babyface)

Neil has a samurai sword and he thinks Kamski has one too 

The pool scene was a 16hr working day???

Gavin Reed:

Isn’t that deep hfdjghdfjdahjksd there were no real character outlines for Gavin as he was just a secondary plot device rather than a fleshed out character so Neil had a lot of creative freedom

His worst fear is being made useless, since he takes pride in his job (hence the hostility against androids)

He wears his scar (the one over his nose) as a badge of honor

Not an alcoholic but gets drunk and starts fights because he’s very opinionated

Joined the force when Hank was at his best and looked up to him 

Didn’t have a strong father figure so he saw Hank as one

The resentment comes from watching Hank’s descent, ‘like watching your hero fall’

Bryan interjected that the hostility between Gavin and Connor is sort of like sibling rivalry, to which Neil said ‘yes it’s like the older brother with more experience vs the younger brother’

Connor sees Hank as a figure to emulate ‘I don’t know how to human can I human like you human?’

Misc:

He doesn’t think Gavin and Elijah are related, and it was more because he played both characters and wanted them to be as different as possible (accents, movements, personality) and it was important to him to differentiate between them

However he does think it’d be funny if they met under completely normal circumstances like meeting at a milkshake shack and Kamski arrives by limo everyday and it’s Gavin’s usual haunt (similar to the way you can ride the train everyday and see the same person and you never talk to them but you sort of acknowledge them)

Amelia joked Kamski meeting Reed was the reason Kamski gives up on human interaction and makes androids 

Bryan thinks Traci might get along better with Reed than with Kamski because she’d resent Kamski for ever making her to live that sort of life, and at least Reed is blunt with his honesty vs enigmatic Kamski. Amelia sort of agrees but thinks Traci really wouldn’t get along with either of them

The audition process was actors recreating the Kara Short! Neil was initially disappointed he wasn’t cast as an android but was happy to get the role of Kamski, the creator of androids

[gveret-fic]

Supercorp: "Lena, there's no time to explain but your answer to this next question could very well determine the fate of the universe: Can I have a smooch?"

The whole universe narrows down into a fewburning points of awareness in that moment. The delicate pressure of four of Kara’sfingertips against her arm, the pinkie too light to feel at all; that direct, earnest,somewhat wild eye contact that feels precarious but utterly unbreakable; theslightly elevated breath between them, escaping from barely parted lips, cooledby the distance and setting fire to Lena’s nerves—it’s as if time freezes justthen, Lena’s life flashing before her eyes like in a cheap TV drama, teeteringright on that treacherous margin between fantasy and reality. Truly the mostridiculous, farfetched, over the top manifestation of blatant wish fulfillment.

Of course Lena says, “Yes.”Of course her voice breaks on that single most monosyllabic of words.

And Kara’s face lights up. Like it does whenpresented with enough dinner to feed an army. Like it does when a family she’srescued is reunited, unsteady and shivering but strong and whole. Like it doesafter a very good, wholehearted, unselfconscious sort of hug. “Thank you,I—I’m sorry we—Thank you, Lena.”

She brushes her fingers over Lena’s cheek,grazing over her lips; a brisk, confident motion, almost impersonal. Lena’swhole body throbs. Kara tips Lena’s head back with that same efficiency,knuckle and thumb trapping a triangle of warmth between them against the skinof Lena’s chin.

Lena’s lips part as her eyelids slide closed,involuntary, helpless with anticipation. Kara lets out a breath, and Lena hearsit, crisp and ragged against the pulse in her ears, but she feels itmore than that: against her lips; slipping warm and ghostly past.

Kara is close enough to kiss. Not byaccident, not by some goofy happenstance. Kara Danvers is close enough to kissbecause that’s what she’s going to do.

The first touch isn’t much of anything atall; an experimental, simple press of lips, that same workmanlike approach. Itsends a thrill from Lena’s scalp right down to her toes. She closes her lipsagainst Kara’s, a hint of a taste she knows could burn her down. Karawithdraws.

Lena tries to tilt her head, thoughtlessly chasingafter that thrilling contact, but Kara’s grip is light, gentle, and unyieldingas ever. Lena moans.

Kara doesn’t mind, though, maybe. She mustn’t,because then she’s back, head angled and another implacable hand cupping Lena’sjaw and that hot, controlled, impossible mouth.

Lena closes her eyes, and allows herself tobe engulfed.

When Kara pulls back, dragging Lena’s breathalong with her, she almost looks like she’s blushing. But then—no, she isn’tblushing, she’s glowing­, emitting very literal light and warmth tomatch the way she’s lit up Lena’s body.

She flares hot and blazing for a moment,yellow, almost red, like fire, and she grins at Lena even brighter than the sun,and then she’s gone.

.

.

It wasn’t really a kiss. It was the best kissof Lena’s life, the best thing in it, likely, but it wasn’t real. Oncethe sparkly pink haze settles down and Lena’s nerve endings stop sparking likelivewires, she realizes it right quick.

Kara didn’t kiss her because she wanted tokiss her. She kissed her because, for whatever cruel but likely karmicallyjustified reason, she needed to. She even said so, right from the outset.

This wasn’t a real kiss. Real kisses don’thave a purpose, serve no function other than pleasure, the expression of affectionand desire. This was a kiss to save the world.

Cold. Calculated. Utilitarian. Perfect for aLuthor.

.

.

It’s an alien virus, Kara explains. She’dcontracted it three weeks ago, and ever since then her powers hadn’t workedright. Until last night.

Lena refuses to beat around the bush. “Whya kiss? Why me?”

“Well, um, the only source we’ve foundfor this thing is in an ancient text in a language that’s no longer inuse,” Kara struggles to explain, gesturing stiltedly. “We’veconsulted this planet’s, I mean, the leading alien linguists worldwide, but wecould only really translate some rudimentary instructions for a treatment.Luckily, there were also illustrations, and they were a bit more, um.Explicit.”

“Explicit… kissing?”

“Uh. Yeah.” Kara laughs nervously.“I can show you. If you want.”

“I’d appreciate it. And any informationyou can spare on this virus.”

“Oh, yeah! I bet you can help. Don’tworry, it isn’t transmittable to humans. I would never expose you to somethinglike that, Lena,” Kara says intently.

Lena softens. She knows, of course she knowsby now that she and her wellbeing matter to Kara, but the reminder never failsto warm her. “I know,” she reassures. “But, to my secondquestion…”

Kara grimaces, avoiding eye contact. “I’msorry. That was asking a lot, wasn’t it? I probably shouldn’t have donethat.”

She had been braced for something like this,certainly, but Lena still finds herself struggling to conceal bruised feelingsand crumpled hopes. “You shouldn’t have?” she asks carefully.

“I really wasn’t trying to—to takeadvantage,” Kara bumbles, wringing her hands in an absentminded fidgetthat might well twist steel beams. “I’m not—it’s not—sexual.” Thatword in hushed tones, like a primary schooler. Like a straight girl. “Ilove you, you know? I don’t like using you. It’s just, the world was kind ofliterally in danger, and I needed a quick fix…”

Lena remembers fingers at her chin, directingher head about, hot breath on her skin, a frozen moment of searinganticipation. Quick fix. “I see.”

“And you—you—” Kara’s fingertipsturn white from digging into her other hand, a grip that would tear through concretelike paper. “I don't—I can’t say why. J'onn—the minute J'onn read thewhole thing, he took me aside and, um. He was pretty sure it had to be you. Andby pretty sure, I mean very sure. More like dead certain. He had that intensebut considerate look, you know?”

Lena is quite convinced she doesn’t.

“It doesn’t mean I—it doesn’t meananything,” Kara says a little pleadingly, offering the words like acomfort. The shitty, jagged, barbed wire sort of comfort that lodges in theheart of hopeful idiots and tugs.

Lena swallows down all the pieces of herheart and falls back on a businesslike demeanor, her most rudimentary façade. “Therewere extenuating circumstances,” she says with a magnanimity she doesn’tfeel. “I understand.”

Kara’s face twists again, and then lifts. Shefinally meets Lena’s eyes. “It won’t happen again,” she vows, quietand certain and clearly embarrassed.

Lena wants to reassure her, wants tocontradict her, wants to grab her stupid beautiful face and kiss her again.

Instead, she nods. And Kara relaxes.

.

.

It happens again.

Lena is fiddling around with a particularlystubborn spreadsheet when Kara crashes into her office, injured and bleeding, waversfor a moment, and crashes into Lena’s desk. Her paperwork goes flying.

“Motherfucker!”

“Hi, Lena,” Kara gasps, trying valiantlyto pick herself up. “I think—I think I need some help.”

Lena walks around the remains of her desk togrip Kara by the arms. One of them is painted red from a wound in her side.“You don’t say.”

“I’m so sorry to ask this of youagain,” Kara says, ragged and sincere. “Lena. Feel free—feel free tosay no.”

Lena laboriously wrestles Kara onto her feet,drags her over the couch and shoves a Capri Sun in her hand. “Of courseI’m not saying no. You’ve left a trail of blood all across my office floor.”

“Whoa! Did I?” Kara looks aroundand jumps a little, as if the freely bleeding gash in her side is news to her. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Youscared me.” She sees Kara open her mouth and holds up a finger. “Uhp!Don’t apologize.”

“Thank you, Lena.” Kara says itlike a sigh, and deflates along. She looks—bad. Gray around the edges.“I'm—I swear, it’s not that—it’s not that I want to kiss you, Ijust—”

Lena’s breath hisses sharply through herteeth. It’s one challenge after another today. “Kara,” she says,sweet and dangerous. “Shut up, would you.”

“‘Kay,” Kara says so immediatelyand in such a small voice that despite everything, Lena can’t help smiling.

What can she do, she really is in love withthis doofus.

They meet just a little off center, Kara blurryand uncoordinated, her lips grazing Lena’s chin with Lena almost getting amouthful of nose. It feels almost… exploitive, kissing Kara like this,something unseemly in sharing a moment as vulnerable as a kiss with her alreadyso defenseless. Supergirl, dragged down from the sky and into the arms of aLuthor.

But Kara braces her hand around the back ofLena’s neck, and she dives into their kiss with the sort of magnetic,energizing fervor that Lena is endlessly mystifies by but which seems to comeso naturally to Kara, and—as their lips fit together, like seven differentkinds of magic, she once again begins to glow.

Kara draws back slowly, and Lena watches withlidded eyes and wavering breath as Kara’s skin knits back together, her eyessharpen, her whole being shimmers; Lena’s half expecting a wind, summoned outof nothing, to gently blow away her hair.

I did that, Lena thinks, and maybeglows a little, too.

“You’re really good at this,” Karabreathes, lips still red and glistening. She sways closer, thumb tracing a carefulhalf circle across Lena’s throat, eyes fixed on her mouth. All at once, shedrops her hand and leans away. “Not that I like—”

“Yes,” Lena cuts her off sharply,irritable at being yanked so unceremoniously back to earth. “I know, thankyou.” She softens, against her better judgment, sweeps a loose curl ofgolden hair off Kara’s glowing shoulder. “Stay safe.”

“I will. Thanks to you.” Kara iswearing her dopey, blissful post-kiss smile. Post-power up, Lenacorrects herself. As Kara hasn’t yet failed to mention, it has nothing to dowith the kissing. “My hero.”

Lena watches her shoot up into the sky, ablurry, shimmering dot, the imprint of her thumb still burning against Lena’sthroat, and tries very hard not to let those parting words sink all the waydown to where they want to go.

.

.

Kara sends her scans of the alien texts.Scans of the alien illustrations, too.

Explicit is indeed an apt word for them.

None of the beings depicted have anythingparticularly analogous to human genitalia, but the intent is quite clear.Unambiguous, but tasteful, in a way. There’s a certain tenderness to them. Itseems obvious that this is an embrace between two (or more, it’s reasonablyhard to tell) individuals who care for each other. Certainly on the… classierend of deeply outlandish erotica.

It also seems apparent why the DEO had deemedkissing to be the less risky option.

Cold comfort, however, when Lena feels atrisk of losing herself entirely.

.

.

It becomes a sort of deranged, destabilizing,electrifying routine.

The feeling of rightness when their lips fittogether, Kara’s tongue in Lena’s mouth, her hand warm and rigid in Lena’shair. The indescribable rush of witnessing firsthand the magical transformationof Kara recharging, as she shines with power and energy and delight, andknowing Lena was its catalyst. Going home alone, slipping into her neatly madebed with a vibrator and headphones and trying her very hardest to imagine anyfucking thing else as she comes.

Lunch the next day, with Kara no longer tryingto convince either of them that this won’t happen again, with the tension ofthe mutual knowledge that it will, that it has to, that neither of them feelsabout it the way that they should.

The unspoken,unavoidable new closeness between them, awkward and strange and exciting, reshapingtheir relationship in ways Lena can’t yet articulate, and absolutely wouldn’t,if she could.

It goes on, and Lena adjusts. She’s quitegood at adjusting. This is just another type of longing.

They stop waiting for Kara’s powers to fadecompletely; Lena would rather not see Kara bleed if she can help it. They mightshare a kiss every four or five days, now: in between meetings, at the end oflunch, early in the morning through Lena’s apartment window. If this arrangementbegins to resemble something Lena knows very well the name of, if she hasstarted relying on it like she does on her weekly therapy sessions, if sheneeds to change batteries much more frequently nowadays—well. She tries not todwell.

.

.

It’s been two weeks since their last kiss, arather unusually long while. Kara is starting to look a little pallid, but shedoesn’t mention it, and Lena doesn’t push. It isn’t that kind of relationship.

Not the kind of relationship where peoplecommunicate, Lena thinks darkly.

But then Kara tells her a bad a pun, and laughsat her own joke, lighting up all on her own—

Whatever kind of relationship this is, Lenawill take it, and thank the stars for being gifted the opportunity.

.

.

Lena receives Alex’s alert during herpost-all nighter power nap. She rides the DEO car in an unpleasant combination ofgrogginess and sharp alarm, and arrives at the military proving grounds just intime to see a gray shape pick up a red and blue figure and throw her right outof the sky.

Kara slams straight into an old concretewall, sliding down in a shower of debris.

The green dot that’s likely J'onn rushes oneof the assailants up above, the black dot that must be Sam bodily dragging twoothers through the air. Lena wrestles out of her heels, chucks them aside and headsfor Kara in a dead sprint, only pausing to cower away from a rain of shatteredglass.

She doesn’t spare a glance upward, not whenKara is small and immobile and so unnervingly earthbound. As unnatural as afalcon laid out on its side in the middle of the road.

Lena struggles to her knees beside her in herstupid tight fucking skirt, palms Kara’s dusty, bloodied face. If only they’drecharged before this, none of this would have happened. “Shit,”Lena mutters, tasting bile in her throat. “Kara. Come on. Come on,darling. Look at me.”

She smoothes away Kara’s hair, rubs vigorouslyover her shoulders, her chest. Kara’s eyelids flutter, head lifting bypainstaking degrees. “Mrrm,” she mumbles, like a big, injured, capedcat. “Oh… Hey, beautiful.”

Lena lets out a wet gasp of a laugh.“Thanks, charmer. I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

Lena bends forward, eyes already slippingshut when she’s halted by a palm to the face.

“Nooo,” Kara moans, feebly rollingher head side to side. “No no no. Nuh uh. No way.”

Lena bats the hand away, annoyance and anxietyclashing. “Kara, what the fuck? You almost died up there. Please.”

“It’s not fair to me,” Karamumbles.

“It’s not fair to you?” Lenarepeats incredulously.

“It’s trizvialising my feelings,”Kara explains, equally earnest and absurd.

“Wh-what?”

“’S Alex says.” Kara shakes herhead again. “’S not healthy.”

“Well, I don’t think getting beaten to apulp is very healthy for you either!”

Kara keeps stubbornly shaking her head, thenlets it droop down against her chest. Anxiety rises thick and suffocating inLena’s throat, but when Kara lifts her head back up, there’s a new clarity inher eyes.

Kara wipes her nose on her forearm, smearinga bright streak of blood across the right side of her face. “I can’t kissyou anymore,” she says plainly. “Because, I figured it out. Why it’syou. Of course it’s you. Lena. I’m hopelessly in love with you, you know.”

Confession done, Kara sags again, a superheroshaped balloon leaking air. Lena can see her own fingers bunched in Kara’suniform, white-knuckled and pushing hard to keep Kara propped against the wall,but she can’t feel them at all. A bright, impatient, staticky feeling hasovertaken her body.

Her voice bubbles up out of nowhere. “Kara,you fucking idiot.”

Kara blinks at her sluggishly. “Wuh?”

“You shitty… fucking… jerk!”

“Nooo, I’m nice!”

“You are not nice! You have beenkissing me stupid for weeks and telling me it meant nothingto you!”

“Well, I—I was lying!” Kara proclaims.

Lena ignores her entirely. “And I wentalong with it, again, and again, and again, like a self-destructive piece ofshit, soaking up every little scrap of misplaced affection, because I don’tthink there was ever a time when I wasn’t pathetically, desperately in lovewith you.” She lets go of Kara to muffle a sob in her hands, and Karaslides down a couple of incongruously comical inches before catching herself onher elbows. “God.”

Kara laboriously pushes herself back up,reaches for Lena with clumsy hands. “Shh. Shhh. C'mere.” Kara pullsher closer, makes uncoordinated attempts at wiping the tears off her face,settling her hair. Lena can feel it get messier. She leans into the touch. “Lena.Lena. Don’t cry. I am a stupid idiot jerk, you’re right.”

A sniffly sound of outrage escapes Lena. “No,I’m not! You are the most incredible, courageous, brilliant woman in thisuniverse! Don’t you ever say that to my face again!”

“Uhhh…” Kara’s stupid wonderfulface makes a stupid wonderful little O. “Okay.”

“I love you so much,” Lena sobs.

Kara is nodding vigorously now. “Minetoo. Me, me too. Allll so much.” She grimaces, stops nodding. “Lena,I think, I’m a bit cun—concussed? Maybe?”

Lena laughs a little hysterically. “Abit! Yes.” She wipes roughly at her eyes, grips Kara by the shoulders,takes in a noisy breath through her nose. She’s going to have to do thisagain. “Shit. All right.”

“Sorry,” Kara tells her, for themillions infuriating time these past months.

Lena fixes her with her sternest look, Lillianflavored. “I’m doing this because I love you, got it?” She would giveher a shake for good measure, except Kara is a solid slab of granite and alsoterrifyingly hurt.

Kara’s grin blooms wide and goofy andbloodstained: perfect. “Really? Cool,” she says, and Lena kisses her.

She tastes like dust and blood and the saltfrom Lena’s tears. Tastes like fear and pain and heartache—but triumph, too,and determination, and love. Love. Kara loves her. Kara loves her, and thiskiss—this fake fucking kiss that has a function, that isn’t real, this will betheir last. The next one, the next one is going to have no purpose at all. Thenext one will be decadence, self indulgence, hedonism epitomized.

Vow made, Lena opens her eyes to the nowfamiliar glow of a well-kissed Kara. Kara, whose reinvigorated arms around herare currently the only thing keeping Lena from dropping fifty feet onto theasphalt below.

Seems even a fake kiss is enough to cause abit of spontaneous, unconscious flight. Quite gratifying, really.

Lena licks her thumb, rubs at the dryingblood on Kara’s face and wipes it off on her shirt sleeve. “Go get 'em,”she says.

Kara giggles. “Yeah.” She glancesdown. “Um. I’ll just, put you down first.”

She tightens her hold around Lena’s waist,gently floats them down. Kara’s hair settles around her like a halo. She letsgo of Lena with a last lingering touch and steps back.

“Actually, you know what?” Karaturns back sharply, snakes an arm back around Lena’s body and cups the back ofher head in the other. “Not yet.”

She kicks off and they soar once again,spinning once, twice in the air as Kara nudges her nose against Lena’s andlaughs, short, exuberant, and captures her lip in a kiss.

Their previous kisses had been characterizedprimarily by either control or disorientation. This—this is nothing like that. Light,and honest, and focused; this kiss is pure exploration. Lena gives into it,like a solution blending with another, molecules fitting into each other’sspaces, unpredictably increasing density.

Kara draws back and laughs again, a warm explosionthat can’t be contained. “Did I get that right?” she asks.

Lena can do nothing but nod.

How Kara can misunderstand her so completelyfor months and then read her mind in an instant is beyond her. But she lovesher. And finally, she can show her.

So she does.

[the-rogue-apostate]

Out of the Darkness - Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay on this chapter, but it’s here now!

Have a screenshot to go with it! 

Anyway, as always, I’ve posted a link to the fic on Ao3 as well in a separate post. But here’s a quick link for you anyway!

No warnings other than the usual apply for this chapter. 

Stay tuned for more screenshots, & please enjoy (under the cut)!

   Chapter 6  

   Kara was safe, at least for the time being.  

   As far as the people of Haven were concerned, she was a hero. It wasn’t something she took lightly, but it just wasn’t sinking in for her. She could still hardly believe any of it was really happening.  

   Varric Tethras, who somehow decided to stick around, felt the same way. She’d met up with him after her encounter with Cassandra and Leliana in the Chantry. He was still friendly as ever, and pretty soon they’d become kindred spirits in the “I can’t believe this shit is real” club.    

   He’d been kind enough to fill her in on a few key things she ought to know; mostly about Cassandra. She could tell immediately that he was intimidated by her, though he covered it with a thin veil of sarcasm. He’d already told her that she was a Seeker of Truth, a secret order that outranked the Templars in the Chantry, and that she’d pretty much been running the show as far as the Inquisition was concerned. He was also kind enough to mention that Kara, believe it or not, had missed much of her “frothing rage” while she was unconscious; she found it hard to believe that Cassandra could have been more frightening.  

   Things had also calmed down considerably since she closed the Breach; though it had only been a temporary fix, it was enough to stall the “end of the world” mindset among the soldiers and villagers. Initially, though, there were still a handful of people who were skeptical about Kara’s involvement. According to Varric, three separate people attempted to kill her while she was unconscious - they had since been removed from the village.  

   He was definitely worried, though, that much Kara could see. He covered it well with his sarcastic quips and jokes about “running at the first opportunity,” but he had the look in his eyes of a man who had seen some truly terrifying things. Someone who’d spent days fighting demons without an end in sight; she knew, because she saw that same look on everyone she’d met that day.    

   The conversation didn’t last very long; she had tons of questions for Varric, mostly about his writing, but felt there was a time and place for such talk. She’d only have an hour of free time before her presence was requested back at the Chantry. Cassandra explained that the advisors to the Inquisition wanted to meet with her, and to discuss the best way to move forward with the situation at hand. After all, the Breach might have been stable, but it was still in the sky. She knew she couldn’t provide much input, only the tool to close it, but she didn’t dare refuse.

~  

   “Does it trouble you?”

   Kara didn’t even realize she’d been contemplating her hand as she and Cassandra walked down the long corridor of the Chantry. When the Seeker’s voice interrupted her reverie, sure enough, the first sight she saw was the green shard in her palm. She sighed.  

   “That would be putting it lightly,” she remarked. “I just wish I knew what this damn thing was, and how it got in my hand.”  

   They stopped a few feet away from the door. Cassandra’s gaze softened slightly.  

   “We will find out,” she assured. “What’s important is that your mark is now stable, as is the Breach. You’ve given us time, and Solas believes a second attempt might succeed - provided the mark has more power.”  

   Kara wasn’t sure she liked where Cassandra was headed. What did she mean by “more power?”  

   “The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by.”  

   There it was.  

   “Do you really think that’s wise? I mean, a ridiculous amount of power had to be used in order to open the Breach? Do we really want to risk making things worse?”  

   Cassandra chuckled slightly. “And people call me a pessimist. Come, we will discuss this further.”  

   The best word Kara could use to describe her reaction to Cassandra’s response - underwhelmed.  

   Kara immediately recognized two of the three advisors as she and Cassandra entered the room. There was Leliana, of course, who had been there seemingly from the beginning. The Commander, whose name Kara didn’t yet know, who they’d encountered on their way to the Breach. And finally, a third woman, who wore her hair in a perfectly braided bun and donned a yellow and purple silk dress; out of the five of them, she definitely looked the most out of place.  

   “You’ve met Commander Cullen Rutherford, leader of the Inquisition’s forces,” Cassandra began, motioning to the man across the table.  

   Kara made eye contact with him, and he smiled politely.  

   “It was only for a moment on the field. I’m pleased you survived,” he told her.  

   She simply responded with a small smile and a nod, holding his gaze a little longer before returning to Cassandra.    

   “This is Lady Josephine Montilyet,” she continued, referring to the well-dressed woman. “Our ambassador and chief diplomat.”  

   Josephine nodded. “I’ve heard much. It’s a pleasure to meet you at last.”  

   Her accent indicated to Kara that she was Antivan, making her seem that    much more out of place.    

   “And of course, you know Sister Leliana.”  

   For what was likely the first time, Leliana flashed her a small smile before replying.  

   “My position here involves a degree of-”  

   “She is our spymaster,” Cassandra said bluntly.  

   Leliana’s gaze narrowed a bit. “Yes...tactfully put, Cassandra.”  

   The timing of the moment was almost humorous, but Kara knew it wasn’t the time for snickering. She simply nodded once more.  

   “It’s good to meet you all,” she told them.  

   “I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good,” Cassandra continued.  

   “Which means we must approach the rebel mages for help,” Leliana declared matter-of-factly.

   Kara blinked at the suggestion. Was this woman serious? She didn’t think it was a bad idea, exactly...but were they really considering asking the rebel mages for help? She could never imagine the mages agreeing to such a thing, especially with the Inquisition technically originating from the Chantry. Not to mention their constant struggle of evading the Templars; even before Kara left Redcliffe, the Templars had been close to bearing down on the village…  

   “And I still disagree. The Templars could serve just as well.”  

   This suggestion had come, rather sharply, from Commander Cullen. Surprisingly, though, no one else in the room seemed to be like minded.    

   Cassandra sighed before saying, “We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark-”  

   “-might destroy us all,” he countered. “Templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it so-”  

   “Pure speculation,” Leliana cut in.  

   “I was a Templar. I know what they’re capable of.”  

   On instinct, Kara took a small step back from the table, hoping the others didn’t notice. She was admittedly caught off guard having learned the Commander was a Templar. For obvious reasons, she’d spent her entire life avoiding them, and never thought to find herself in the same room with one by choice. Still, he did say was, and it wasn’t the time to dwell on such things; and as far as she knew, everyone was savvy to the fact that she was a mage, anyway.    

   As far as the Breach solution was considered, as much as she hated to admit it…  

   “I think the Commander might have a point,” she found herself telling them. “The power that most likely caused the Breach had to be some sort of magic. Using more magic to try and fix it might just make it worse.”  

   There was a tense silence in the room. Commander Cullen nodded upon her response, while Cassandra and Leliana’s expressions couldn’t quite be read. Thankfully, Josephine chimed in.  

   “Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet,” she explained, gesturing to Kara with her quill. “The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition - and you, specifically.”

   Once more, Kara had to hold back a snicker, though she wasn’t nearly as amused. Normally, she could care less about the Chantry, but having them specifically “denounce” her meant they were calling attention to her - she couldn’t think of anything worse.  

   “That didn’t take long,” Kara commented plainly. “Glad to know that they still think I’m guilty.”  

   “Shouldn’t they be busy arguing over who’s going to become Divine?” Cullen joked, almost bitterly.    

   “That is not the entirety of it any longer,” Josephine told her. “Some are calling you - a mage - the ‘Herald of Andraste.’ - and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.”  

   “Chancellor Roderick’s doing, no doubt,” Cassandra realized angrily.  

   Josephine made another comment, but it was drowned out by a loud whooshing sound in Kara’s ears. Or perhaps it was manifested by her mind, considering she was convinced that it had stopped working. For she couldn’t possibly have heard the ambassador correctly just a moment prior.    

   “I’m sorry, I-I need to stop you for a moment,” Kara cut in, turning to Josephine. “Did you just say I’m being called the ‘Herald...of Andraste?’  

   “That is correct,” she replied politely.  

   Kara glanced between the four of them briefly, and scoffed before asking:  

   “How exactly am I the Herald of Andraste???” She could tell that she sounded manic, but she didn’t care.  

   “People saw what you did at the temple. How you stopped the Breach from growing,” Cassandra explained. “They have also heard about the woman seen in the rift when we first found you...they believe that was Andraste.”  

   Oh is that all?  

   “Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading-” Leliana added, before being cut off by Cassandra once more.

   “-which we have not.”  

   Leliana shot her a pointed look before continuing. “The point is everyone is talking about you.”  

   “It’s quite the title, isn’t it?” Cullen pointed out, seemingly amused. “How do you feel about that?”

   Kara felt it would be inappropriate to scream at that moment, so she attempted to calm herself internally before replying.  

   “Well...it’s...a little unsettling, to put it lightly,” she told him calmly.  

   He snickered. “I’m sure the Chantry would agree.”  

   Kara didn’t know much about the Commander, save that he used to be a Templar. Ordinarily, that sort of fact would shape her opinion of him indefinitely, but she couldn’t help but appreciate his sense of humor when it came to the Chantry.    

   “People are desperate for a sign of hope,” Leliana continued. “For some, you’re that sign.”  

   “And to others, a symbol of everything that’s gone wrong,” Josephine added.  

   Kara was beginning to panic. She was more well-known than she thought; there was no way that could end well. For her...or for the Inquisition, from what they were telling her.  

   “Is my presence here going to cause any...serious issues?” she asked.  

   “Well let’s be honest - they would have censured us no matter what,” Cullen told her, almost reassuringly.  

   “And you not being here isn’t an option,” Cassandra declared.  

   “There is something you can do, if you wish to help further,” Leliana chimed in. “A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”  

   Kara was more than willing to help the cause, but she didn’t see how being thrown to the sharks would be in any way helpful. Despite Leliana’s confidence, this was one request Kara had to question.  

   “Why would someone from the Chantry help a declared heretic?”    

   “I understand she is a reasonable sort,” she explained. “Perhaps she does not agree with her sisters?”  

   It was rare, but there were a select few individuals in the Chantry who weren’t completely brainwashed by the organization. And to now have a woman who wanted to simply speak with her rather than bring the wrath of the Maker down upon her was somewhat encouraging.  

   “Fair enough. Where can I find this Mother Giselle?”    

   “You will find her tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe,” Leliana told her.  

   “At the Crossroads, I’m guessing?”  

   “That is correct.”  

   Kara nodded; she knew the area all too well. She’d visited the Crossroads a few times in the last few months, and assisted the refugees whenever she could. She very well could have spoken to this Mother Giselle and not even realized it; there were many who flocked there to help those caught up in the war.  

   “Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition’s influence while you’re there,” Cullen suggested.  

   “We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you’re better suited than anyone to recruit them,” Josephine added.  

   Kara held back a groan as she thought of the prospect of being the “face of the Inquisition,” gathering supporters everywhere she went. She was more than willing to help the cause, in addition to remaining to close the Breach, but she was never one to rally people together. It came with the territory of keeping to herself...it had always been better that way.  

   And then, as if reading her mind once more, Cassandra spoke up.  

   “In the meantime, let’s think of other options,” she told them. “I won’t leave this all to the Herald.”  

   She was really starting to like this woman.  

~  

   Before the meeting was adjourned, Leliana explained her plan for advancing on the Hinterlands. The area was wild and dangerous to begin with, but with the Mage-Templar war, it was worse than ever. Rogue mages and Templars hunted each other on a daily basis, and neither side gave a care to who was caught in the middle. The Crossroads had become something of a refuge for the civilian casualties, in addition to those who didn’t want to take sides in the conflict. She sent word to her scouts in the area and advised them to eliminate as many rogues in the area as possible. Hopefully it would allow them enough time to get Mother Giselle out of the area alive…  

   In the meantime, however, Kara was about ready to lose her mind. As she exited the Chantry, the phrase “Herald of Andraste” kept repeating in her mind. She could barely comprehend the implications of such a title. Surely, the people who came up with it couldn’t have understood, because there was no possible way that Kara was delivered unto the people of Thedas by the Holy Andraste herself.  

   “Good talk?”  

   Kara jumped as Varric suddenly appeared before her. She’d been so lost in thought as she made her way back through Haven that she didn’t even notice his approach. She looked down at him as he cocked an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued by her bewildered expression. Honestly, she didn’t feel she had to say more than four words for him to understand her mood.  

   “‘The Herald of Andraste?’”  

   “Ah,” he said, raising his head slightly. “Yeah, after a few of the townsfolk tried and failed to kill you in your sleep, the title started floating around. I didn’t think it would catch on, myself, but there are a lot more believers out there than I thought. I would’ve warned you sooner, but I couldn’t think of anything better to say than ‘Oh by the way, everyone’s been calling you the Herald of Andraste.’ Not the best thing to spring on someone out of the blue, in my opinion.”  

   Fair enough, she thought.  

   “Well, here’s hoping I can live up to that title...which I won’t.”  

   Varric smirked empathetically. “I wouldn’t count yourself out just yet. I mean, the fact that you survived that explosion at all is pretty amazing in my book.”  

   Kara looked up at the Breach, contemplating it for a moment. A sudden wave of sadness overtook her, and she hoped it didn’t show.  

   “It is...isn’t it?” she muttered. “The only survivor...it’s hard not to feel guilty after something like that, despite how incredible it was.”  

   She looked back to him and saw him staring at the ground thoughtfully. Fearing she was making him uncomfortable, she quickly followed up with:  

   “I can’t focus on that now, though, I know. I’ll just do as much good with the time I now have.”  

   Varric reached up and patted her on the arm. “That’s a good attitude to have; the kind we all need to have. There are a lot of people in the Inquisition willing to take up arms against this disaster, which is what we need, but this…”  

   He turned away from Kara and stared up at the Breach a moment.  

   “You know, heroes are everywhere...I’ve seen that. But the hole in the sky...that’s beyond heroes. We’re going to need a miracle.”  

   Kara was taken aback by his words, mostly because he was exactly right. This wasn’t a job for just anyone with a sword willing to put their life on the line. This really did need a miracle... and somehow, she knew, people were expecting her to be the miracle. All because of the mark in her hand…  

   “You may be right about that,” she told him. “I just ho- oof!”  

   Her sentence was cut off as a sharp pain suddenly ripped through her stomach. She doubled over slightly as she hugged her abdomen with one arm.   

   “Whoa, hey, you all right there?” Varric asked, clearly concerned as he rested a hand on her back.  

   Kara didn’t know how to respond. The pain was intense, but odd, almost like… 

   Oh…  

   “I think I’m fine, Varric,” she told him, straightening up. “I think my body just realized that it hasn’t eaten in a week.”  

   Varric breathed a sigh of relief, then chuckled.  

   “Don’t worry, I think I know how we can fix that.”

[this-sapphic-paradise]

When Push Comes to Shove

Chapter 3 - The DEO 

(AO3 link / please consider buying me a coffee ^^ )

"Agent Danvers." J'onn looks confusedly from Alex to Sam, then back at Alex. "What is Ms. Arias doing here?"

Giving Sam a small, reassuring smile, Alex tries to explain what happened the previous night, "Sir, I believe… I believe Sam might be Kryptonian." she says in one breath.

"Wait, did I hear it right??" Winn, who was walking back to his station right as Alex was talking, stops dead on his tracks to take part in the conversation. "Sam is Kryptonian too??? That's awesome!!! But I mean, first Superman, then Supergirl, then the prisoners at Fort Rozz, now Sam! How many Kryptonians are there on Earth?"

The look J'onn, Alex, and Sam give Winn makes it clear to him that he read the situation completely wrong. "W-What? It-It's not awesome?"

Sam fidgets under Winn's and J'onn's scrutinizing gazes, and she feels like fleeing, but she knows she can't; she knows that whatever is going on with her is dangerous -- she can feel it in her bones -- so she knows she needs to stay, and with the conviction of a woman who has to face countless self-entitled old men for a job, Sam squares her shoulders and says calmly, "The day Supergirl saved the city from being torpedoed by that submarine, a structure beam fell and trapped my daughter beneath it. I was so scared it was going to crush her that I just kept trying to lift it, and…and I did it. I felt the metal crushing under my hands, and I actually lifted it enough that she could crawl away--"

"But that may have countless other explanations." J'onn says, but the way Alex looks at him says there's more to the story. "I'm sorry, Ms. Arias. Please, continue."

Sharing a brief look with Alex, Sam continues, "Then the day that desperate mother tried to kill Lena by shooting at her -- you know, the day James Olsen was shot -- I got home that night and Ruby pointed out that I had a hole on my shirt. After I put her to bed, I checked the jacket I was wearing at the press conference and I found a piece of metal… It was the bullet completely flat, but I didn't feel it hitting me. I didn't feel anything."

Alex notices how Sam is balling her hands into fists, and all three agents can hear how hard she's fighting to keep her voice even. Without giving it a second thought, Alex gently runs her hand down Sam's arm, and waits until Sam unfolds her hand so she can hold it.

Feeling tears welling up in her eyes at the small act of kindness, Sam takes a moment to collect herself. "I, uh…" she clears her throat and tries again. "I've been having strange dreams since I saved Ruby… The first one started with me walking through an open field, and there's a lady there… She's beautiful…and she's wearing a blue gown, but seconds after she turns to face me, she turns into this horrifying monster… And, um, once I, uh… I had a hallucination…" Sam trails off, and she scratches the bridge of her nose just as something to distract the others and herself from the fact that she wants to cry. "I, uh, I was actually awake, and my daughter saw me whimpering on the bathroom floor…" she says looking down at her own feet. "This…woman, or creature, -- a different one from before -- told me, 'From Rao's fire you are born…and soon, you will reign'. I don't know what any of that means."

"Rao is my god," Supergirl says surprising everyone. With her hands on her waist, Kara walks toward the group with all the authority of a superhero, making Sam feel wildly uncomfortable; like she shouldn't be there, like this was all a big mistake. "Rao is the god from the main religion back at my home planet." Kara explains it further, glancing at her friends, silently asking them for an explanation of their own.

"Supergirl," Alex greets, and just by the way she looks at her sister, Kara knows there's a lot she needs to get ready for. "We-- Well, I think Sam…" Alex takes a deep intake of breath. "I think Sam is Kryptonian."

"What?" Kara scoffs in disbelief. "Th-That can't be."

"Believe me, I don’t want it to be true either." Sam says defensively, pulling her hand free from Alex so she can cross her arms protectively in front of her chest.

"N-No," Kara shakes her head; clearly having some difficulty wrapping her head around the sudden news. "No, that's not it. I mean… I just don’t think it's possible. I was a teenager when I was sent to Earth, and the only other pod sent out that day was Kal-El's. The planet exploded right after I left Krypton's orbit."

"Someone might have snuck in and sent Sam before you and Kal-El." J'onn offers. "But for now we must determine if Ms. Arias is in fact Kryptonian, and if she is, we need to figure out why her powers are only manifesting themselves now. Agent Danvers, run a full check up on Ms. Arias; Winn, search the government's database and try to find any mention of a third pod landing on Earth; Supergirl," J'onn looks at Kara with the understanding of someone who also thought they would never find anyone from their own planet ever again. "You should ask Alura's hologram about a third pod being sent to Earth."

All three of them nod at their boss, and Alex gently places a hand on Sam's back to guide her toward the medical bay.

"Will this take long, Alex? I need to be at L-Corp no later than eight…if I'm going to be late I need to call Jess to let her know she'll need to rearrange my meetings." Sam says a little harshly, once she's sitting on the exam table and she sighs, rubbing her temples. "I'm sorry, this is just… This is too much. All I want is to be normal… I just want to be a good mother to my daughter."

Alex understands what's like to have her entire life turned upside down by an unforeseen change, but in her case it was someone new being introduced to her life, not finding out she's from another planet. Sighing, Alex gently grabs hold of Sam's shoulders and waits until she looks up at her, only then Alex says, "Whatever is happening to you, we will figure it out. Together. If it turns out this is just an anomaly or some sort of weird alien infection, we'll treat you and you'll go back to being a kickass CFO and an awesome mom. But if you are Kryptonian, well…" Alex smiles, "let's just say I pity whoever chooses to mess with Ruby."

Sam can't help herself; the idea of being a 'super-mom' brings some comfort to her heart, and she laughs in relief. Placing one hand on top of Alex's, Sam says, "Thank you, Alex. Really, thank you so much for doing all of this for me."

"Don't mention it." Alex shakes her head, although there's a smile tugging at her lips. "Alright," she says, letting go of Sam so she can grab a syringe. "First, let's see if I can draw some blood for analysis."

As Sam watches Alex preparing her arm to draw the blood, she says, "If? I've had blood work done before. Countless times in fact, especially when I was pregnant." But the smile disappears from Sam's face when she sees the needle bending as Alex tries to puncture her skin.

Looking up at Sam, Alex gives her a small smile. "I already expected this, okay? After all, a bullet didn't hurt you, so there's no reason a needle would."

"I-I thought it was triggered by adrenaline or something…" Sam mutters, eyes still locked on her arm.

"It might have been the case at first… but once whatever triggered this transformation started, I think it's been gradually making you stronger." Alex says softly, not wanting to cause Sam to panic. "Lay down for me, please." Once she complies, Alex gets the scan she usually uses on Kara, and starts a reading of Sam. "Do you know anything about your birth-parents?"

Sam shakes her head. "My adoptive mother never told me anything about them."

"Has she ever told you any detail of how she learned about you?" Alex asks, keeping an eye on the scanner's monitor.

Sam shakes her head, "No… But I think it's time I paid her a visit."

Alex nods, and trying to act nonchalantly she asks without looking up from the monitor, "Would you like me to go along? You know…having a federal agent there might help her tell the truth…"

Sam laughs in disbelief; she can't wrap her head around the fact that this has become her life, but still, Alex's offer is very sweet. "Thank you, but I think I can handle Patricia on my own."

"Okay." Alex smiles at Sam, and puts away the scanner. "All done, we should have the results soon. In the meantime, go back to work, go back to being a mom, alright? We've got your back."

Sam gets up from the bed and gives Alex a hug. "Thank you, Alex."

"It's no problem, Sam. Come on, I'll walk you out."

After Sam's gone, Alex gets back to the main operations room where J'onn and Kara are gathered around Winn's computer.

"So, Alex, what have you found out?" J'onn asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"She's definitely Kryptonian, but I haven't told her yet, I wanted to give her one last day to feel…normal." She says, glancing at her sister. "What did Alura say?"

Kara shakes her head, "There are no records of a third pod being sent to Earth. And I repeated the words Sam heard in her dream, and my mother says there's nothing in her archives that would explain it."

"Nothing on the government database either?" Alex asks.

"Nada." Winn says. "If she really came to Earth in a pod, whoever found her did like the Kents, and hid her pod."

"She's going to pay her adoptive mother a visit soon." Alex informs them.

"That's good." J'onn nods. "You should go with her." And before Alex can get another word in, J'onn adds, "That's an order, Agent Danvers."

"Yes, sir." Alex sighs, and starts walking away from them.

"Alex, hold up." Kara calls after her sister, and when she catches up, she places a hand on Alex's back, making her wince in pain. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's nothing, Kara. Don't worry about it." Alex tries to get Kara to let it go, but it's too late, Kara's already using her x-ray vision to check her back. 

“Alex!" Kara gasps. "What happened!?!?"

"You said you'd never use your powers on me." Alex counter argues, but she knows she's only buying time, because Kara is too protective to let this slide.

"And I never do unless you're hurt or in danger, and you're hurt, Alex! Who did this to you??"

Alex pulls Kara away from the other agents, and says, "Fine. It was Sam, okay?"

"What?!?! Alex--"

But before Kara can continue, Alex interrupts her, "She was asleep, Kara. She was having a nightmare, she was scared and in pain, I tried to wake her up, and she threw me across the room."

"She's dangerous, Alex! We need to keep her here." Kara argues, terrified of what a newly-discovered Kryptonian can do with powers she does not comprehend.

"And what, Kara? Make her lose her job? Send Ruby to live with a grandmother she's never even seen?" Alex asks exasperatedly. "What if whatever is happening with her worsens because of those decisions? The woman in her dream said, 'soon you'll reign'. Reign, Kara. We need to be smart and very careful with how we deal with all of this, because if Sam becomes what the woman said in her dream, we will have a very dangerous situation in our hands."

"That's what I'm saying! We can't let her walk free!" Kara's voice is rising as she gets increasingly frustrated at her sister.

"What if the only thing keeping her from turning into this reign thing is her humanity, Kara?? Do you remember what happened to you when you were infected by the red kryptonite??? What if she becomes like that when we cut her links to her friends and family? We can't have an enraged Kryptonian playing monarch in National City."

The words hurt Kara; part of her believes that's what Alex thinks she can become, and it scares Kara, because on some level she's afraid of it too. Crossing her arms, and averting her eyes from Alex, Kara says, "Okay… But one wrong move, one violent act from her, and I'll bring her in, Alex."

Alex nods. "If that does happen, I'll help you bring her in, but until then, continue treating Sam nicely. Be her friend, Kara Danvers, not the city's hero, okay?"

Kara nods, and then something crosses her mind. "Oh Rao… What's gonna happen to Lena if Sam turns bad??"

"Kara…" Alex sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You can't tell Lena…"

"I know, I know." Kara groans. "But I--"

"No. No buts. She can't know. We don't know what might send Sam down the wrong path." Alex says firmly, looking into her sister's eye to make sure Kara knows she's not messing around.

"Okay, okay…" Kara relents, but part of her doesn't agree with Alex; between Sam and Lena, Lena comes first, and she needs to protect her. "I'll… I'll let it go for now…"

"Good, thank you." Alex sighs in relief.

"I have to get back to CatCo." Kara says, starting to walk away from her sister. "I'll talk to you later." With a resolute look on her face, Kara flies out of the DEO determined to talk to Lena about Sam.

[daretogobeyondtheunknown]

Claire

Kal El and Lois were in town.

When she had first arrived, Kal El had flown to National City to extend his welcome. He looked nothing like the infant Claire felt she had just held. If it wasn’t for the angling in his jawline or the gentle smile that reminded her so very much of her uncle, Claire might never have guessed the grown man was once that small infant.

Well, sort of.

Following that day, Kal El established himself on a routinely basis in her life: one visit a month and a quick bi-weekly call. It felt methodical and always focused on subjects laced hesitation. As if Kal El were uncomfortable or unsure how to appropriately address the matter or perhaps her existence in general.

More often than not, Claire could hear or see in the background the encouraging - or teasing - remarks of Lois Lane.

It confused her, the way Lois spoke so casually to Kal El, especially when in the grace of others. Her parents had instilled in her an unwavering sense of propriety and Claire had spent many nights wondering if it was simply the unfortunate side effects of life on this planet.

Or rather, this planet’s effect on her species and other non-native species.

“Claire?”

It had all led into extensive research into curbing the effects on herself.

“Yes, Kal El?”

But that was another matter altogether and Claire needed to remain present, mindful of her surroundings and the conversations they held. Kal El always tried his best to involve her in discussion, perhaps as not to exclude her from the feeling of being with the “adults”. Or at least, that seemed to be how a fellow classmate had described it.

Honestly, Claire could care less. As kind as Kal El might be, his perchance to treat her with great caution and to stumble around Kryptonian historical data with the same grace as a newborn child was painful to say the least.

“Would you like to go for ice cream after?”

After referred to the current restaurant setting.

It seemed like a commemoration of sorts, dressed in finer wares, circumventing the more traditional take out for a sit down meal. Whether it was Kal El, Lois, Kara or Alex, somewhere someone had arranged for the five of them to spend an evening together.

“From the place with the fascinating cones and assorted toppings?”

Claire noted how Kal El always appeared uncomfortable with her use of Kryptonian in a public setting. It was as if her words were an allergian and its physical manifestation was to cause Kal El to squirm uncomfortably or scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck.

Kal El never responded in anything but English.

She had overheard him once, something to do with safety and blending in. But Kara and Alex had never expressed those same sentiments and had graciously never forced Claire to speak this planet’s native tongue - within the confines of their home or the open space of the masses.

“Of course.”

“We can max out on all the toppings again.”

Lois had an infectious enthusiasm and it brought a slight curl to the corner of her lips.

It wasn’t that Claire was unhappy but rather that she was bored. The restaurant, while Claire had enjoyed the finer tastes on Krypton, felt stifling and Claire felt odd and out of place. She had come to enjoy the nights wedged between Kara and Alex on a couch that was not quite meant to fit them.

It felt like the home Claire no longer had.

Claire turned, seeking the attention of Kara and Alex. Though Claire could still paint vividly the colour of her mother’s eyes and the dimples of her father’s cheeks, she understood they were gone. And in the place of such a loss, Claire had earned Kara and Alex.

At first it had felt grating, a mar against the Kryptonian pride, of Houses and classes and one day destined for elite roles. Claire was meant to be great, to stand tall alongside her parents, clothed in robes signifying prowess, power and prestige.

She was meant to lead nations.

To become of a child of Earth with all the idioms and bureaucracy, that made her incapable in almost every sense, was demoralizing. Infants on Krypton were treated with more wherewithal than most young adults on Earth. If it had been on Krypton and her parents had passed, Claire would have been deemed fit to stand trial to take the seat of her house, to lead the House of El to greatness.

Learning to yield to the council of Kara and Alex had been a humbling experience Claire would have never had to face, on Krypton.

“Mothers’?”

Claire ignored the way Kal El’s fork and knife scraped across the dinner plate. If her use of her native tongue threw him then her use of the word mother hurtled him through light years worth of space.

But again, Claire hardly cared, focused intently on the two women she had come to see as motherly figures who constantly rose to the new challenges to be deserving of such a title.

“Kal El has made the suggestion of ice cream. I wish to go. May we?”

Well perhaps not always Kara because when she released a sound of such excitement it made her ears ring and her vision cross. How they were ever the same was a concept all too lost of Claire.

“Ice cream!”

* * *

“Excuse me sir.”

Claire drew to a halt, impeded by a short plump woman with rosy cheeks and the most obnoxious voice. It reminded her of the many nights spent listening in on meetings of the Council.

“Yes?”

It was as if the title of each House brought with it an air of arrogance and superiority that bled through the many voices. It was neither good nor bad, it simply just was and until Claire had experienced an excursion to the outer edges of Krypton, to Houses of far less significance there was no other tone to compare it to.

Well, aside from the tone of her own and her dearest, beloved family, who set Claire with an understanding that they were just different and so she had never thought much more of it.

“You have a beautiful family. Normal. Not like all those misguided ones who just can’t be right out there.”

Claire took a moment to basket in the way Kal El’s facial features flushed and any pattern of speech withered on the proverbial vine. He looked like the gaping fish she had seen on a visit to the aquarium with Alex and Kara. Winn Scott might have also tagged along. His impression of the fish had been startlingly accurate and Claire had grown to like him a little more.

“I- she- we-”

But Kal El was pitiful, truly, and if the shaking of Lois’s head was any indication, Claire felt she agreed.

“While he might be of age, he is fortunately only a cousin. One I know far too well.”

Images of a much younger Kal El spewing bubbles of ill intention as he refused to dawn his ceremonial robes conjured in her mind. If he had been able to speak, Claire imagined he would have spouted off something about freedoms and rights to all and the robes being an age old recognition of oppression.

Kal El, no matter the shifts in time, would always be the tiny infant with a flare for defiance and an ability to squirm his way out of all forms of clothing.

“They are my parents.”

Claire motioned towards the table they had come from.

Alex and Kara had remained seated, Kara adamantly attempting to pocket a few snacks for the road while Alex was equally adamant that sticky toffee cake did not bode well midflight.

Apparently it was spoken from experience.

Sticky toffee cake would have been nice. But from the furrow in Alex’s brow and the pinch in her shoulders, Claire surmised ice cream would be ample and had not pushed the subject.

Kara on the other hand?

“Wh- Oh.”

The former boastfulness tilt and the high drawn shoulders deflated. This woman too could gape like the aquarium fish and Claire had to bite her tongue to still the very thought from flowing out. Alex had said it was not of sound mind to point out the flaws, miscalculations and inconsistencies of others. It echoed a similar sentiment her biological mother had shared on Krypton.

Not that Claire succeeded well at it, rather she was aware of it and mindful to it. Especially after the incident with the officer of the law and the crazed dog lady. Claire truly did not need a repeat of such an ordeal.

“I will admit, at first I was leary as well. One was far too in love with life and had an enthusiasm that felt disastrously contagious. The other was, well, too maternal to an unwanted intrusion in life.”

Claire imagined it was not the response the woman had originally intended. Her head swiveled from the table to Claire to Lois and Kal El then back all over again. It looked ridiculous and all Claire wanted was ice cream and not some woman making assumptions about an already sore subject in her life.

Not that she would have known.

“I will pass along your kind words once they are finished arguing over sticky toffee cake. As for my cousin, I am sure he and his bonded will be suitable parents in the unforeseen future.”

With tact, as Alex would say, and with a smile, Kara would add. Though if Claire was honest, if the upward curl of her lips looked anything like felt, it was a grimace at best and the tact was thinly veiled.

“Claire, your mother is such a dessert dictator!”

Rolling her eyes - fighting away the genuine upward curl to her lips - Claire wondered how her life had become such. An elderly woman with assumption, a Kal El as red as the House of El crest embroidered to his chest, a thoroughly amused Lois and a tutting Alex quite literally pushing her whining other self from the table.

Rao had the oddest sense of humour.

“Kara, we are going for ice cream, for crying out loud!”

And yet maybe it wasn’t and Rao had given Claire this new family for a very specific reason. Because somehow, they made her heart well and her cheeks hurt and they chased away the loneliness as the light illuminates the darkness.

Maybe Rao gave her this world - this life - to prepare her for the role in her own.

Whatever the reason might be Claire found it herself slipping in, metaphorically melting into the over the top nature of Kara and food or Alex and protecting.

[leaughrilke]

Are the superbabies overprotective of Lena? Or do they worry about her? Being her the only one of the family without any powers to defend herself? I don't know if she's still being targeted by her mother or brother but she's still a very famous and smart Luthor with a really important company so I guess she kind of always has a target in her back.

this ask is related to another one so when i finish that one, i’ll link it here and link this one there too

here’s the sort of second part??

SO 

oh my god they are so incredibly protective of lena like…….oh my GOD are they overprotective.  like??  finn and maia spend a lot of time worrying abt her and stella bc they’re the only two that dont have superstrength or speed or the ability to fucking fly away from danger and stella worries abt lena constantly bc she can feel all the bad stuff ppl feel towards her???  hear all the bad thoughts???  

god its terrifying for them bc their moms are rlly Bad at self-preservation and like obviously they get better at it bc they need to b around for the kiddos but they also would lay down their lives for the kiddos in an instant??  its a weird tightrope to walk, but at least kara like…..probably will come out of most situations alright.  like 9 times out of 10 she’ll walk away from a fight but whenever lena’s in danger its like??  they rlly Dont Know if she’ll be okay

like Constant Fear is something they know p well.  stella’s manifests more visibly bc she’s already p tightly wound so when she’s like twelve or so she starts having panic attacks when lena has to go out of town bc she’s That worried something will happen to her and like?? stella can’t??  do anything???

when her powers grow, she finds she can sort of influence ppl??  like later she ends up developing the ability to actually impose her will (which……different post tbh) but earlier its just sort of a nudge in a direction she likes better, maybe sending some more positive feelings or smth.  she does that a lot for lena.  like if she feels a dip in her mood or hears some of the shit she’s being subjected to, she just…..pushes rlly nice thoughts in her direction???  sometimes sends nice things abt her mom to the ppl that r being mean to her

maia, when she gets a lil older (starting when she’s abt 13 or so??), does this thing where when they’re out in public and some pap appears and starts shouting at lena for a quote on whatever shit lex has said or lillian’s pulled, she just……steps in front v subtly.  even when whoever’s getting in lena’s face is v obviously human, even when lena is obviously handling it.  she just inches forward, steps just slightly in front of lena, straightens her spine and sets her jaw and listen, maia’s a giant sweetheart when u get to know her, but that girl is fucking terrifying when you’re on the wrong side of her glare and more often than not, whoever is giving lena shit will just walk the fuck away

it worries lena to no end bc she’s like??  i am the mom, i should be stepping in front of you but the way maia views it, if things get bad or ugly or violent, she can take the hit??  and she would, she will, she always will bc she wont even feel it but it could do serious damage to her mom and that’s…….Not an Option

and finn!!!  finn, god bless him, is the least violent person you could ever meet, hates anything to do with violence rlly, so he doesnt react like maia, doesnt send glares, he just worries and frets and tries to keep maia from doing stupid shit bc she’s scared

like??  that’s how he helps, that how he takes care of his moms; when one of them is down for the count or isnt allowed to leave the house bc SOMEONE put out another hit on her, he just sort of fills the gap and puts all his nervous energy into finding the best value laundry detergent or the right kind of sequins for maia’s dance uniform or the right brand of knee pads bc stella’s old pair wore out just before lex started pulling shit again and lena was going to get new ones but now she’s on house arrest 

and god help them all when the kiddos band together.  like starting from when they’re little, even!!  they thought they were so slick abt it too, thought their Secret Guard for Mommy was like a secret or something but every adult around them knew abt it, thought it was cute until it got kind of worrisome bc they were v, v serious.  but when they were little and didn’t rlly have a solid concept of the v real danger lena was often in, it was just like ppl r being mean to our mommy so we’re going to be extra nice to her and get aunt maggie to help us bake cookies for her after school

when they’re older, it is decidedly less cute and baked goods oriented.  stella kind of gets premonitions??  not quite seeing the future, but like….she sees options.  Possibilities.  so she’s usually the first to know abt any threat to lena and the kiddos have a separate, encrypted group chat that is literally still called Secret Guard for Mommy but maia added like four knife emojis and stella added the skull and fire emojis and finn balanced it out with like several hearts around mommy

anyway they have this secret, safe chat that stella messages whenever she gets a vibe (yeah, she borrowed the term from uncle cisco but to be fair, vibe doesnt exist on their earth so) and finn and maia get the location, the description and then maia goes to put the fear of god in whatever fucko is planning on messing with their mom.  she doesnt necessarily physically hurt them??  usually she doesnt, but sometimes they’re truly awful and so she does, but that’s why finn’s there, bc he has this rlly good ability at sensing when she’s abt to go Too Far and always stops her before that

when their moms find out, theyre furious bc like the kiddos arent that old??  they rlly arent, like finn is twenty, maia’s barely eighteen, and stella???  is a literal high school freshmen???  and god knows how long they’ve been doing this, and it’s so incredibly dangerous and kara’s kind of like??  you could have come to me, i would have handled it but its just rlly hard when you’re a kid and you see your parents scared and they just…..Needed to do something