#when the story isn’t about race??? it’s just fantasy

[victoriadallonfan]

What’s fascinating to me about Frieren Demons isn’t the in-universe issues with them (just to be clear, it IS interesting, and I love a lot of their designs).

But rather how extreme sides of the fandom can be when discussing them. From what I see, it tends to fall into 3 camps:

1.) The demons are unsympathetic antagonists that nearly wiped out the human race, and that is refreshing for anime fantasy media after years of complex, morally grey, adaptions within the genre and plays homage to the Dragon Quest inspired aesthetic for Frieren

2.) The demons are unsympathetic antagonists that are no longer in power, and that is bad because historically there have been times where monster species have been used as proxy for marginalized people (ex: old Warhammer factions), and it clashes with the general good natured vibe of Frieren’s story otherwise

3.) The demons are sympathetic antagonists who due to no fault of their own seem to have no way to process empathy, sympathy, or considering life sacred, and any attempts on their part (or humanity’s) to understand ends with death as their culture and instinct is to adhere to power over negotiations. Thus they are NOT evil but merely a biologically opposed species that nearly wiped out humanity trying to bridge that gap, and do not adhere to any RL group, marginalized or not.

And all 3 factions hate each other with a fiery passion

[myriicae]

Psa if I see you complaining about the new little mermaid movie solely because of Ariel’s skin tone im authorized by the government to break your fucking kneecaps

[sweetshuga]

The moon is pretty, isn’t it? ✧ CS

───~𓆩♡𓆪~───

bsf!chris! Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve—all the possibilities kept eating at you, until he showed up knocking on your window unannounced. [angst, smut, fluff, a sprinkle of everything]

wc. 1.1k

note. English is not my first language!

You and Chris had a falling-out.

You had accidentally laid your feelings bare during a harmless game of 'Truth or Dare'. The look on his face alone made you feel that twist in your gut, but what he said after his silence made your stomach feel like it was dropping down 10-stories.

"Are you fucking serious with me right now?" The almost mad sounding tone made your heart beat faster as you tried to backpedal, "no, Chris, that was–" he cut you off, standing up, looking pissed. "I’m going home, can’t fucking believe this shit," he stormed out before you could utter another word.

The front door slammed shut after him and you sat in silence for a while, your brain unable to comprehend what had just happened. When the realization finally dawned over you, you couldn’t help the tears from forming in your eyes nor the painful clump in your throat.

Not only did he reject you and get angry at you, he left as well. Was he that angry? Were your feelings such a bad thing? Questions swirled in your head like a broken record.

You didn’t know what to do, what to think or what to say. All you could do was sit there and cry, completely shocked with the turn of events. Some people may call you oversensitive or dramatic, but they don’t know how much it hurts—how much more painful it was than any physical injuries.

You curled up in bed, thinking about everything that you could’ve done differently, everything that would’ve been if you didn’t tell him about your stupid crush on him and everything that should’ve been – in your selfish fantasies.

𓆩♡𓆪

You had fallen asleep on your bed after crying. Feeling slightly better but your sleep was plagued by memories of his face, the way he reacted to your feelings and the words he spoke.

You were jolted awake by the sound of knocking, looking around in confusion as you sat up on your bed, only to see Chris looking at you through your window.

You nearly had a heart attack, staring back at him with wide eyes and your hand on your chest. After all, your room was on the second floor, how the fuck did he climb up?

You scurried to the window, opening it to let him in, all the previous hurt gone, replaced by pure bewilderment. His expression turned pained when he saw the dried tear streaks and red puffy eyes, "don’t look at me like that." You blinked, finally realising you’ve been staring at him with wide eyes and a gaped mouth, quickly closing your mouth as you schooled your expression.

"What was that?" Chris sighed, "what was what?" He questioned back, "how the fuck did you climb up? Better yet, why the fuck are you climbing in through the window?" He rubbed his temple, looking frustrated, "look, I knocked on your front door but you didn’t open it, just forget about me climbing in and let’s... let’s talk about—"

You cut him off with a stubborn "no" , he blinked, surprised at what he was hearing, "what?" He asked confused, making you repeat yourself, louder this time, "no." He looked at you bewildered, like he couldn’t believe he was hearing what he was hearing.

"Don’t be a brat," Chris inhaled deeply before continuing, "listen, I know I reacted a bit too dramatically and I’m sorry for that, but you have to understand how surprising it was for me," you scoffed at his words, eliciting a heavy sigh from him.

"Please, just..." His voice trailed off into another sigh, "I can’t... I mean, we shouldn’t," his voice was barely above a whisper, the uncertainty and vulnerability in his eyes caused your heart to race. "Why?" A simple question really, but the answer wasn’t so simple.

"Because..." His voice trailed off, knowing he doesn’t have a good excuse as to why they couldn’t, "because we’re friends." That made your expression harden, "right, of course Sherlock, I know." Chris groaned, "you’re not making this easier—" you cut him off, "and you’re being insensitive."

"Don’t be like that, i just..." he trailed off again, biting the side of his bottom lip nervously, he was fighting a losing battle between what he wanted and what was the better choice in his opinion. "Please..." you looked at him, "please what? What do you want me to do Chris? You know what, never mind—"

His eyes widened at your dismissive tone, realising he might lose you if he wasn’t honest, "no, no, I’ll— we’ll—fuck, let’s do it." He stammered, making you pause, "what?" He quickly added, "let’s date." You looked at him for a good minute, "what?" You asked dumbly, "let’s date," he repeated himself.

"Are you serious? You were just saying you won't and can't when i asked you just now," you raised your eyebrows, completely taken aback, to which he let out a quiet chuckle to. "I know, I just realised something, forget about it and come here," he pulled you closer, and you eagerly complied.

He hugged you tightly, "I realised I couldn’t fight it anymore, you’re too important to me, I can’t lose you no matter what," you let yourself melt in his embrace. "You serious?" You whispered into his chest, nuzzling into it, making him laugh softly. "Yeah, dead serious." You sighed, in relief and contentment.

Suddenly, he walked backwards with you still in his embrace and plopped on the bed, taking you down with him. "Hey–" he shut you up with a kiss, a soft chaste one, and you smiled into it, your heart feeling lighter and warmer.

As you deepened the kiss, his hands wandered over your body, inching down to squeeze your ass before smacking it gently. The sudden feeling made you squirm, causing you to grind on him, making him let out a small groan into the kiss.

You could feel the heat and hardness under you, the only barrier being your thin clothes, and the friction was almost too good to stop. Your hips rolled as you chased after that friction, only for Chris to hold your hips in place.

Groaning as you broke the kiss, "why?" you whined breathlessly, "I wanna feel you, can I?" He whispered, playing with the waistband of your sleep shorts. Nodding as you helped him take off your sleep shorts, followed by his sweatpants.

𓆩♡𓆪

Your world blurred as he fucked you senseless, you didn’t even remember how or when you got into the doggy style position. Your orgasm crashed over you for the nth time tonight, gasping as you tried to control your loud moans, your wrists were pinned on the small of your back by Chris as he pounded into you. "Fuck—so beautiful, ma."

As you two lay in each other’s embrace, content and relishing in the afterglow, you couldn’t help but make a comment about the full moon glowing brightly in the darkness of the night.

"The moon is pretty, isn’t it?" Chris chuckled softly, pulling you closer, nuzzling his face in your hair, "yeah, as pretty as my girl."

𓆩♡𓆪

wc. 1,183

Isa's notes. I know my fics always end with smut or something suggestive... I try to make it any other genre, i really do, but the voices— lmaoo I'm js fucking around, i just like me some smut 🎀

xoxo 𓆩♡𓆪

Masterlist 𓆩♡𓆪 Taglist

Taglist: @strnilolover @mattsfavoritestar @sophand4n4 @tpwktahlz @lilyyliloo @slut4angstt @pvssychicken @poolover123 @loud-sturniolos @inlovewchrissturniolo @queenshet @chrisstopherfilmed @billiesbabya

© sweetshuga

[elodieunderglass]

I'm not as familiar with LOTR as you are, so I wondered if you could tell me if my wild theory is completely off-base.

No one knows where the Hobbits came from, except that at some point they diverged from the line of men. No one knows much about the Entwives' appearance, but we do know that they fucked off a long time ago.

Could the Entwives have been dryad-ish and hooked up with the hobbits' ancestors and so be the foremothers of the hobbits?

Ah I think I saw that post! The concept has a lot of charm, and when the Tolkien estate loses its corpse-grip on the property in 2050 or so, I think you should write it and sell it 😤 I’ve definitely read some good takes on entwives in fanfiction that both leaned into canon and moved away, and I think that sounds like good fun to explore. A common theme in the fandom is playing with Yavanna, the Green Lady, being the mother or patron of hobbits. This isn’t canonical, but she’s a “green goddess” archetype and is married to Mahal/Aulë, the father of dwarves, which shippers often leverage to their advantage. You could do something quite charming there with Yavanna if you wanted to. We also know that Entwives loved gardens and orchards rather than forests.

Some things I would explore with this include:

what is going on with all these consistent ideas of people, races, women disappearing. We know that a lot of it is how Tolkien processed an almost OCD-like Catholic framing of “the fallen world is getting worse and can never be repaired”, war experiences, romanticism and other stuff stewing in his old man head. What are some ways you could show what’s stewing in your head? What does “people disappearing” mean to you? and why is it especially healing that they disappeared in order to make new families?

I think “they disappeared from their old kin and made new kin” is an interesting and weird thing worth wondering about!

- this would possibly make hobbits a more recent race than is implied. What does that mean to you?

- why are hobbits teeny tiny?

A very good starting point, that Terry Pratchett used a lot, is taking some grand statement in fantasy fiction, and making it reflect a different political reality. “Most dwarves are girls actually.” “Wizards parody academia, but, like, FOR REAL.”

I personally have a different take because of my own political feelings and framings! I have a lot of complex feelings about Tolkien chickening out of hobbits. For various political reasons I personally have to take the stance that they are fully human, fully indigenous, and have their own native language. and that their disappearance is less “teehee we lost them” or “O, the Catholic guilt of the Fallen World, how far we have fallen from the light of the two trees God’s sinless light” and a lot more “oh yeah I’ve seen THAT pattern before.”

If you have a political sort of lens on, someone telling you “yeah… hobbits came from nowhere 🤭 and then disappeared 🤷‍♀️ sad!” is a story that can also invite the response of “OHhhhh you wanted their LAND real bad, huh.” Like, we know what that means, right.

It’s a political stance for me. Hobbits have to be close enough to us to touch, and we have to be able to face that, and the fact that 5,000 media properties will chew on tolkienelves and sell them to you before even admitting to the 🤭 just makes it even more of a 🤨. To me.

…But I have literally just been elbow deep in my own demented fanfic thing that involves inventing a language just to swear in, to enable my standing on a box shouting HOBBITS OUGHT TO RESIST GOING EXTINCT ACTUALLY, based entirely on, I think, spite. Why do multiple authors publish orc football games (Terry Pratchett) and orc coffeeshops (Legends and Lattes guy) and do every damned thing with every bit of Tolkien’s corpse but refuse to look directly at hobbits. I am feral over this and wrote 59k words so far to damage and harm my friends

In conclusion I see a great story shape there about kindred and I think you should explore it and it should be about evolutionary biology and women and divorce and nobody being wrong.

And if anyone argues you with some podcast boy “well actually”, just bite them and do more character work and sit on their heads

[thehmn]

It has become more widely known that jotun men from Norse mythology can give birth and generally people immediately jump to “That has to mean they’re trans men!” but one of the first things we’re told about jotuns is that they’re intersex in a fantastical way where they have both penis and vagina because they are creatures of chaos. Well, some of them.

The first jotun Ymir had both and mated with himself (the text literally say he had both) to create the jotun race. Then there’s King Godmundr who gave birth to nine wolf pups by his wizard werewolf boyfriend, which of course highlights that sometimes jotuns birth animals or monsters, the most famous instance being Angrboða giving birth to Hela, Fenrir and Jörmungandr by Loki.

But it also seems like not all jotun men can give birth naturally, Loki being one of them. Every time he gave birth he had to transform himself into a female form via magic. Most famously he was a mare when he gave birth to Sleipnir, but Odin also tells us Loki has taken the form of a human woman many times so he could sleep with men (and get pregnant) which suggests Loki likes sleeping with men but prefers to do it in the form of a woman (Loki then says Odin has done the same so he has no right to judge). Godmundr for example is called out for “being a man acting like a woman” because he likes to bottom so much but still in his male/intersex form.

And the stories are pretty clear on wether someone is a man, a man transformed into a woman, or a trans person. In one story we’re told Freyr’s house is filled with “men dressed and behaving like women”. Also the fact that Loki use his mother’s name as his last name could mean a million things. Maybe it’s because she was an Æsir goddess so he’d get more respect from the Æsir by taking her name. Maybe his mother was actually his father Fárbauti who gave birth to him. And maybe Loki isn’t intersex because he’s only half jotun.

It’s all just fun speculation but if jotuns were turned into a high fantasy race like elves and dwarves the mythology provides a ton of interesting implications about jotun biology.

[easy-there-leftovers]

I See You, Darling (2)

[Astarion x reader] Due to surprisingly overwhelming demand, the previous fic, along with this one and many more to follow, will now be part of a series!! It was honestly very difficult trying to come up with what happens next, but here we are. The idea came to me during a fever!! |Word count: 2.5k.| Based off of this post I made.

Part 1 here!!

Next part here!!

The reader believes they are in a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time their fantasies conjured up such an obscure, yet somehow realistic scene. And so they’ve elected to treat the experience with as much realism as one would observe in a dream; little to none.

Alternatively;An ex-art-student-now-traveler accustoms themselves to the party.

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

“Shadowheart. Shadow…heart. Hm.” His gaze bounced between you and her. 

“I’m sure her parents meant well, but the name is rather ominous, isn’t it?” He leaned over to your side, not bothering to hide his blatant distrust. Lowering his voice dramatically, if anything.

“Unless she chose it herself. Which is even more worrying, honestly.” He chuckled out.

It had been no more than two bells after mornbright when you met Astarion. Since then, you’ve come to realize how…different your presence has changed the course of the story. Though more subtle than you expected.

It would seem as if you had met the elven vampire before the party was formed, which was strange as your last save point was far later than that and the forest had been quite a long way from the beach.

When you finally stumbled upon Shadowheart, he was quick to share his inner thoughts that you haven’t heard from the game before. 

As they continued with their quest to find a cure for the Illithid problem, expanding their party as they did so, you had tried to make yourself useful by doing the dirty work for them. Looting and opening crates filled with camp supplies, armor, and potentially useful weapons and artifacts could always come in handy for trade or for “artifact consumption,” as per Gale’s need. Sorting them for your group’s convenience.

And while you did not have more direct and immediate practical use for your course of study in the modern world, the research you’ve created and reviewed for character creation and world building was doing wonders for your survival.

Or as much as it can for a magicless, not so athletic human. 

The “runes” of the medieval ages that have been carved into stone, along with the basic history and background of the common races and deities of the fantastical world that tabletop RPG has offered puts you at quite an advantage.

Not to mention your experience with the areas of the game giving you the same effect.

But this library of information had also aroused something akin to suspicion and concern. It would be understandable if you were a simple traveler just like them, or perhaps even an artisan from the guild, but you were not as astute as either background.

So how could you have access to this much knowledge yet be unaware of more practical matters? It’s as if you had simply read about it from somewhere. 

Astarion had been quick to give an explanation before you could form one of your own that could poorly convince your companions. Although, perhaps his suggestion was more outlandish than anything you could have come up with.

“They came with me. Property and all the formality that comes with it. A family pet, if you will.” A perfect excuse to justify your constant proximity to him, and a likely explanation to being well read, but not well experienced.

You thought nothing of the title, your apathy to the non-hazardous labels of this world apparent.

The same couldn’t have been said about your associates who had a few comments about this disclosure.

“I am unfamiliar with the–well, I shall not say ‘culture.’ ‘Customs’, perhaps. I did not think your kind to house such breed of cattle. Perhaps they could be useful.” Was Lae’zel’s. 

“I assure you, they typically don’t. Humans aren’t naturally subservient to Elves, at least in this manner. This setup sounds more akin to slavery. Blink twice if you need help.” Was Gale’s response. 

“It seems like Astarion's from the upper city, given the embroidery on his armor. I wouldn’t put it past them to have servants that follow them around.” Shadowheart’s nose crinkled at the thought. 

The party already had such an interesting rapport. Not entirely comfortable with one another to divulge everything, but loose enough to have semi-pleasant conversation with.

You thought this as you sorted out the fruits of your collective labor into neat pouches and bags, keeping items similar to one another factioned into their respective holding space. The chest being closer to Withers more than you’d like, but it was nice to hear the ramblings of an…undead person? Hearing someone continuously talking allows you to be more productive.

You’ll admit, handling enchanted armor and crystals does make you a tad nervous but you’re comforted by the thought that it will not be you who wields it in battle.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Gale approaching your direction. Possibly to ask for his share of the camp supplies just a little earlier to sate himself as you had an abundance of it for now. You regard him with your back turned and he stops for a bit.

“I will say that I don’t have the lightest of feet, but I figured myself better at sneaking around.” It’s not his fault that he got caught, but the bright purple robe and the smell of the oils you’ve been crafting for them are particularly noticeable.

“You are, but I’ll assume you're not exactly in the best shape after dealing with a few goblins.” You hold up a bottle of a healing potion, swinging it a bit with your fingers to indicate that the smell had warned you of his arrival.

“You’ve got a keen nose on you. Must be from all of Astarion’s training but, speaking of which,” He nears himself to your crouched form, going in to lean against a very old and empty crate.

“Gale, wait–” Right as your warning leaves you, they seem to evade him as falls right through the wood. A comical layer of dust and lichen pluming out from the force. He tries to quickly recover from both the physical and emotional damage as he brushes himself off to make himself presentable once more. 

“Ahem, as I was saying,” He again makes his way over to you, settling for just standing close as his attempts to look unbothered temporarily cost him his ego.

“I was serious about what I said before. While I don’t know what to make of our pallid friend just yet, as enigmatic as he is, what he said before is quite confusing. Best make haste away from here if you want your freedom while we’re distracted with this worm problem.” His tone suggests a genuine concern which confuses you.

You’d be lying to yourself if the label of the set up didn’t sound odd, but you’ve never expressed discomfort as there was nothing all too worrying about it on your end. It was mostly for show, and you had as much independence as Tav would have in your game.

You endeavor to quickly dispel his worries.

“You don’t have to worry, I’m very satisfied with my servitude under Astarion. He’s very lenient and reliable, and I’m better off with him than on my own." You return to your task of sifting through your materials but pause and look back up at him to continue.

"I do thank you for turning my way though. Your concern is much appreciated but unnecessary.” You lowered your head a bit to show your thanks.

“Well if someone as generous as yourself says to trust you on this, then I have no choice but to concede! I’ll keep a watchful eye and offer guidance, should you need it. Also, do we happen to have something for—” As he asks you for some sort of salve, just a few ways off, your eccentric “handler,” of sorts, watches the two of you interact.

Don’t get him wrong, such matters don’t really catch his attention, but being an elf does curse him with the ability to have extensive hearing. Something that he thinks Gale knew, and something you forgot. That would explain the lack of distance between you two.

He thinks it’s amusing how the wizard is trying to make conversation with you as if you were some foreign creature. His usual eloquence nowhere to be seen, and you seemed as unbothered as ever. Like how he usually saw you when you conversed with someone through a crystal.

It was a phone, not that he knew that though.

“They’re a real nice one, aren’t they?” Karlach says from her side of the camp which was nearer towards his tent and yours.

“Hm, yes. While that may be an admirable trait, it’s hardly going to get them anywhere if they keep this up.” Astarion huffed out, not very keen on your altruistic playstyle so far.

He doesn’t know much about what you do and don’t know, all he knows is that you do know of the events to unfold and could be the key to defeating his master.

 All he needs is to keep you at his side. So he’ll allow you this much freedom.

“Oh come on, you. You can’t seriously think that after everything. Our camp’s pretty well maintained because of ‘em, not to mention the connections we’ve been able to get!” She fortifies her statement by knocking on her chest, the engine humming within feels lighter and newer since you’ve informed her of the tiefling blacksmith at the grove. 

He hums in response, returning to reading his book as he thinks about his growing hunger. He’ll have to hunt soon enough. While your positive reputation occasionally reflects on him by proxy, it can also reflect negatively due to the alleged nature of your relationship. If he wants the journey to a way of understanding the tadpoles to be a more comfortable one, he has to at least prevent their trust in him from diminishing.

~

Night falls later than he’d have liked, having waited for everyone to be asleep so that he may prowl the forest for sustenance.

The rest were sound asleep in their bedroll as the skirmish from earlier on in the day had proven to be sufficiently tiring. The crackling fire surely brings a lulling warmth that he supposes he’ll have to miss out on for a while.

As he begins to slink off into the darkness, he looks back to gauge his surroundings and catches your form from across the settlement. It seems you were tallying away the items in the shared chest and double-checking to see that everything is checked and balanced with your records. 

Your shoulders jump at his suddenly standing form, but try to understand his intentions. You mouth, “where?” with a very confused face, to which he responds with a simple shushing motion and waits for your acknowledgement.

You nod slowly, and he holds your gaze before sneaking off once again.

‘He’s coming back, right?’ You wondered. The progression of your experience now in comparison to the game was vastly different, and you didn’t know if all scenes, or only some, would present themselves in this world. You assume he planned to hunt, and while you trust his abilities, you want to make sure he’s attended to properly should he be harmed in any way.

So after retrieving a few potions, a journal, and a pencil, you stashed them in a satchel and positioned yourself at the base of the tree in the direction he left in. You weren’t particularly sleepy tonight, and planned to pass the time in wait of your companion. 

There wasn’t much to do in this century to keep yourself entertained. The only things you’ve found so far were a few instruments and all manners of journals and inks.

The inkpot that you picked up appeared to be red this time. The game of, “which ink dye will I get this time?” will have to be the most of your entertainment for now. Not all too different from home, you suppose. And while writing keeps your mind at bay, illustrating all manners of wildlife have proven to be quite the fun exercise. 

You’ve made a few notes on creatures that you and your company have encountered. The visual elements of a drawing allowed you and the others to keep track of materials that could be salvaged from them, and their resistances to certain attacks. 

Though as much as you liked depicting such lifeforms in paper, you’ve come to be very interested in portraying your vampire friend.

Evidence of your interest present in the pages filled with his likeness as you search for an unmarked page. You’ve made a few of the others, yes, but anyone who would gain access to your journal would surely see which member of the group you favor more.

You continued to draw, and occasionally write, on the parchment as you waited for Astarion to come back. All sense of time evading you as you focus on the task at hand.

A perfect opportunity for a tired rogue to surprise an unsuspecting human.

“And what are you still doing up, little one?” He appears from behind the very tree you rested against, causing you to spill a bit of ink on your thumb.

You clicked your tongue, not at all annoyed by the character but by your absentmindedness and now stained appendage.

“Sorry, I was just waiting for you.” You sealed the inkpot, and gathered your materials. Effectively, but unknowingly, hiding your work from peering eyes that were the same deep red as your finger.

“I’m very flattered, darling. But couldn’t you wait until morning? I'm sure this couldn’t have been all too important, yes?” He gestures to your satchel, referring to your journal, but you misinterpreted it as him asking for your medical supplies.

“Oh, that depends. Are you hurt, by any chance? I stayed awake in case you might've needed help tending to yourself.” You opened the pouch to reveal its contents to him, your stained thumb in full view.

The sight makes him sigh out, but is thankful for your offered service.

“I’m alright, nothing of interest happened while I was away.” He considers telling you about the nature of his little…'escapade.' He's unaware if you are of his condition, and he doesn’t wish to out himself if not necessary to avoid possible conflict. So he settles for advising you to rest.

“We need you well rested, my dear. You sleep. I’ll keep watch.” The dialogue is familiar, and you can’t stop yourself from letting a small laugh out as you responded with an equally familiar line

“Thank you. I’ll sleep better for that.” You lower your head as you usually do in gratitude.

“The pleasure is all mine.” He mirrors your gesture, albeit in a way that is most appropriate for someone of his character. “Sweet dreams.”

You walked back to the chest. Returning the potions and ink you’ve plucked from the supply, but keeping the rest of the pouch’s materials with you as you turn in for the night. Awaiting the promise of further study that a new day typically makes.

As Astarion is left with his own thoughts, a sour taste still in his mouth from his earlier meal, he thinks about the man in the journal you kept. He did not see much, only a vague outline of the figure. He thinks about who, or what, it could have been but dismisses the thought rather quickly.

He has no time for a mysterious person with hair less perfect than his own, touching his untainted locks as he does.

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

Thank you everyone for your interest in the series!! As per the request of some, I'll now be adding a taglist!

Thank you to @rey26, @shyminnie07, @lynnloveshobi, @iggee-rose, @automnepoet, and @tiannamortis for asking to be tagged!!

[vampireistic]

the problem with natlan / sumeru

warning: long post

──────────────────

to preface this i’d like to say that i’m in no ways an expert in the topics present, i’m just an autistic dumbass with too much time on his hands who enjoys a bit of research — i’m in no way, shape or form trying to belittle players who are excited for the update, by all means i hope you enjoy it, i’m just trying to give criticism.

you can enjoy/play a game while criticising it simultaneously.

when it comes to the topic of racial diversity and a company like hoyoverse that’s based in china, there’s quite a lot of political baggage that comes along with it. while i’ll try my best to go over that, i’m afraid i can only give a very limited eastern european perspective on it and i’ll certainly get things wrong or misinterpret things — if you’d like a more thorough view on the politics, please go read the post made by @zeichannnnn (hope you don’t mind the tag my love)

firstly, i’ll be going over general misconceptions, ridiculous excuses and or stereotypes that i’ve seen commonly come up in this conversation.

any and all screenshots will have usernames cut off for privacy, i want to maintain a civilised discussion and not cause argument.

a lot of my critiques are more so towards the attitude the fandom has when it comes to this argument and their blatant colourism. as my friend above says, no one ever complained about characters in liyue/inazuma being paper white despite the fact realistically, no one in EA is that colour naturally. this of course stems from the beauty standards but that’s a discussion for later on.

the point is that if say a nation like liyue, had the same skin colour as a character like xinyan (who hails from liyue and has a liyue name) people would undoubtedly be upset. so why is it that when in terms of nations that are based off countries with a darker skin colour variety, complaining about the characters being white is seen as a problem?

culture isn’t defined by racial diversity, but when you’re monetising off the representation of different countries cultures, the very least you can do is show the actual diversity within said culture instead of slapping a cultural name on a white model (cue that one picture of the egyptian dude who looks like a plain american).

the idea that because it’s fantasy or anime, having black characters is surreal or improbable is rooted in white supremacy’s hold over unfair beauty standards as well as just the general consensus that black people are less desirable in media. which is completely false.

characters like dehya have proven that a character’s race is irrelevant when it comes to likeness, given the fact the chinese community ended up donating to charities because of said characters story.

the reason why the lightly toasted characters appear tan to you is because the rest of the cast is so horrifically pale (nahida’s hex code is #FFF7F1, cyno’s is #EEC6A6 which when placed next to each other may look like a big difference, but in reality the colours are on the same side of the colour wheel only a few spaces apart).

hoyoverse does in fact use culture as a mere aesthetic and costume to plant on white models. that is NOT to say they misrepresent culture entirely: this post goes over how hoyoverse is perfectly capable of doing impressive research to bring forth forgotten or unknown bits of culture.

even aside from the problems with racial diversity, the character design department has been known to completely fail when it comes to accurate representation. from the sexualisation of the kimono in characters like raiden shogun (which even the eastern part of the fandom have been upset about) to the character of yunjin where the chinese player based believed she was more like a lolita inspired caricature than a real depiction. they don’t understand how to mingle tradition with modernism.

in all fairness, it is difficult — and i will praise the game for making natlan much more technologically advanced and vibrant than people were expecting because having the one nation that’s based off africa and indigenous people be a wasteland would’ve ultimately been a problem. personally, i even love the slight mashup of “tribes” and the pokémon esque aesthetic — its new, and a smart way to bring two things together.

same thing cannot be said for how hyv ignores the fact darker people of colour are also significant when it comes to the building of culture.

please read over these that go more into depth about problems:

natlan being an amalgamation of three separate countries/cultures.

misrepresenting both continents natlan’s based from

another thing that’s always bothered me is the excuses people used in sumeru about the presentation of characters that were based off real people; specifically, kusanali.

yes, she’s based off a hindu moon goddess who’s described as pale and sure that could’ve been the reason she’s nearly the colour white — but how come candace, who’s based off kandake, a fully black woman, is presented as being slightly tan? you can’t pick and choose what you represent and honestly the idea that nahida’s character is supposed to be a depiction of the moon goddess is disrespect to the goddess herself (please go look at a singular picture of her and you’ll understand the utter tragedy).

hoyoverse also has a bit of a history with both whitewashing their slightly tan characters (nekomiya from zoneless zen zero, arlan from honkai star rail etc) but i think one of their biggest proofs of disrespect comes to carole pepper from hi3.

now, this is not at all me saying you can’t present female characters as very muscular — no. in fact, i would’ve loved if characters like beidou had a similar sort of build. but out of all the characters you could’ve chosen to give this to, you chose a black woman.

would this be a problem if it continued with other characters? not really. the issue lies within the fact the ONLY mother in game who’s presented as buff and “masculine looking” is a black woman — something that’s quite literally a stereotype against black women who are regarded as “naturally less feminine” than white women.

eastern beauty standards

the assertion that eastern beauty standards prevent the inclusion of black characters in video games is not only invalid but also reflects deeper issues of bias and systemic exclusion in the gaming industry. this argument is flawed for several reasons, including the diversity of beauty standards in eastern cultures, the global nature of the gaming market, and the responsibility of creators to reflect and promote inclusivity.

to claim that eastern beauty standards universally exclude black characters oversimplifies and homogenizes the diverse beauty ideals present in countries like japan, south korea, and china. these cultures are not monolithic and have their own histories and contemporary movements that embrace a variety of appearances.

creators in the gaming industry have a responsibility to reflect the diversity of the real world and promote inclusivity. video games are a powerful medium that can shape perceptions, challenge stereotypes, and foster empathy. by including black characters, game developers can contribute to a more inclusive and equitable society. this requires intentionality and a commitment to representation that goes beyond mere tokenism. the argument that eastern beauty standards prevent such inclusion suggests a lack of willingness to challenge existing norms and expand the narrative possibilities within games. hoyoverse have themselves stated in their mission statement that their goal is to show inclusivity.

that’s not to say it’s not clear that china’s beauty standards have unfortunately affected the gaming market: but for a game that brandishes itself on localising itself for a global audience (meaning, outside of its region), it’s a poor excuse. those standards aren’t universal and shouldn’t be used as gateway into designing.

once again, i am NOT at all very well versed in politics especially one that’s overseas (well, next door neighbour in a way) so i definitely will misinterpret or misunderstand things unintentionally and if i do, i’m really sorry.

historical nihilism to me doesn’t relate to black people, just actual story events (hence why hoyoverse had to put a warning label for fontaine that the events presented didn’t represent that of the real world and any similarities were mere coincidence). black people existing isn’t regarded as “politically harmful” neither is it an extraordinary idea — it’s just another group of people.

although, the CCP has a MASSIVE history about their demonisation and hatred of black people therefore, even without the idea that the censorship stems from something like historical nihilism, it’s likely something to do with individual prejudice.

politically, i can semi-understand why hoyoverse is in a tight space for racial diversity. but that doesn’t mean i’m willing to baby a company that profits billions worth of profit from other cultures that they misrepresent and i’m even less inclined to hold the hands of hoyoverse dickriders who believe people complain about race just solely to whine. it’s a real systemic issue, and one that’s prevalent in a multitude of games aside from genshin.

people from the cultures presented are rightfully upset and they shouldn’t be told to just “accept”mediocrity. it’s their culture and identities being ridiculed, it’s their identities being profited from for the sake of aesthetics for a game that preaches inclusivity to the people that are willing to ignore its prejudice.

hell, even as a polish person, just thinking about what they’ll do with snezhnaya upsets me even if it’s not racially based — once again, the media emphasises the idea that eastern europe / slavic culture is purely russia meanwhile they steal little things from all of the surrounding countries in eastern europe (won’t forget the fact they changed that password thing in sumeru from “ravioli” to “pierogi”).

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TL;DR hoyoverse uses other people’s cultures and identities as an aesthetic and proceeds to profit off of it while misrepresenting the sample of people they chose to depict and while a political argument can be made in this regard, ultimately the backlash from people rightfully feeling unjustified in the lack of racial diversity is what amplifies these colourist attitudes: and while hoyoverse has seemingly much more legal repercussions to commit to their idea of diversity, the fandom has no excuse for their disregard of different identities.

also just a funny thing my friend and i did to show just how white these characters are lol

“ blackwashing “ versus “ whitewashing “

i feel like i need to add this little section too because i know there will be a lot of people that draw or reimagine the characters in a variety of different skin tones, and i know a lot of people will be upset (usually it’s just the lowlife weebs who cry at the thought of a black woman being in the same room as them).

historically, media, including video games and anime, have predominantly featured pale-skinned characters, often neglecting the representation of people of color. this lack of diversity reinforces a narrow view of beauty and heroism, contributing to the systemic exclusion of non-white individuals. blackwashing helps to rectify these historical imbalances by providing a broader spectrum of racial representation. it challenges the default assumption that characters must be pale-skinned and introduces audiences to a more inclusive range of appearances.

representation matters profoundly in media. seeing characters that reflect one's own identity can have significant positive effects on self-esteem and cultural pride. blackwashing creates opportunities for black audiences to see themselves in roles and narratives traditionally dominated by pale-skinned characters.

critics (once again, youtube creators and tiktok lmao) of blackwashing often argue that it disrespects original character designs or cultural contexts. however, the impact of changing a character's skin tone is minimal compared to the harm caused by whitewashing. whitewashing often erases the cultural significance of non-white characters, perpetuating stereotypes and denying the rich diversity of the source material. blackwashing, in contrast, does not erase cultural identities but rather enhances the inclusivity of the media. it provides a more diverse and representative depiction without detracting from the character's original essence or storyline.

in addition, usually when a character is black in fantasy media or even just an anime/game with a lore based story, it’s because their race is significant to who they are (i.e tiana from princess and the frog who faces racial discrimination — without her being a person of colour, this storyline and the events that follow wouldn’t make sense).

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i’m sorry for such a long and probably nonsensical rant, but this has bothered me into absolute oblivion especially the community’s response to the uproar of people who rightfully critique and are upset by the company.

[blueteller]

I found this on reddit it's not my opinion but it's kind of funny and disconcerting.

What do you think?

( https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRant/s/uwKw63Cgoc )

"A rant on Trash of the Count’s Family

Alright before I begin I would like to preface by saying that I am a long time reader of the novel and love this novel to death. It kept me company during my darkest and lowest points of my life and I am forever grateful for it !

The rant also in no way affects the brilliance of the story. With that out of the way here it goes:

This is an amazing fantasy novel filled with great visuals, writing, story and top-notch characters. However it has TWO big problems that broke the story smooth sailing for me and I need to rant about it because where I am from I am pretty sure no one reads TCF in a 6000 mile radius.

One big problem was the romance. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT. This is not a problem if the main character doesn’t want romance (he doesn’t nope) but NONE of the main/side characters that has been introduced so far also want nothing to do with romance. It was a little awkward to read the story based in medieval setting where characters are as pure as angels as they come.

Now, you can of course raise the point that romance was never the main focus of this novel (it’s not even a background focus or some D plot) but let’s analyse this novel here for a second okay? This novel is very gore and never ever shy away from very dark themes or stories.

- The main protagonist of the story (sorry forgot his name it’s been a long time) has his entire village with whom he has spent 20 years murdered and burned to ashes, all the men women and children are totally dead.

- The Prince story is also pretty dark and deals with some adult themes about race and identity.

- The dragon raon (is that the name?) backstory is…holy shit some hardcore torture and let’s not forget the revenge torture that happened later with raon eating steak.

- The butler and his butcher son

- The absolute crazy HUMAN EXPERIMENT arc that was happening in the Empire. I mean holy shit they really went into crazy detail about body mutilation and the scientists are absolute psychopaths in how they love their job.

And I am just scratching the surface about how dark this novel is and there’s plenty of it. The point is that it is very adult oriented novel with these stories but on the flip side their romance department is so negligible that even Tom and Jerry had more romance than this.

It actively avoids it like a plague. Why is this an issue? Let me explain.

Simple answer it feels a little jarring or disorienting when you read the novel like going back and forth between watching the looney tunes movie and switching immediately back to a Black Mirror episode.

But I have to give where credit is due. I didn’t notice the romance problem until after some 500+ chapters later (that’s how good the novel story is ) and how did I notice it?

After some battle trying to reclaim the south (north?) tower and this is the part where the Empire’s royalty is on the brink of collapse the redhead girl (I also forgot her name but she is part of the main gang) is extremely tired after a long battle and Cale tries to help her by giving her some healing potions (remember at this point she is the only female character that understands Cale the most and their relationship is the most developed of all) but she says she is so tired she can’t even lift her arms, so Cale (as logic would have it) offers to feed her the potion himself (see completely logical under the circumstances) but Raon the dragon out of nowhere says, “You are too weak Cale! Let me do it”. And I am like…say what? We know the main gang always comments that Cale is weak and all but come on guys we know he isn’t and in fact he’s been through crazy shit. During that battle he never had to fight and was in top condition so that remark from raon made even more less sense.

And then the redhead laughed it off and said “it’s okay I will do it myself” and she does…after a bit of struggle to lift the said bottle.

It’s a small thing but it did break my immersion (it was already broken before, I will explain later). It forced me as a reader to actually “think” about the author intentions something that should never happen when reading a fantasy novel. And it made me go “hmm wait a minute” and then I reflected back on all the 500+ chapters I have read and I came to a realisation that…forget main character romance there is hardly any romance of any proportions from any and every character in this whole novel! It was so impossibly impossible that it teared through the immersion completely.

The second reason for this rant and this is connected to when my immersion showed a small crack. And this reason is purely a preference thing so feel free to ignore this as you want.

I personally believe that when you make a “reborn in a fantasy world” story you absolutely must never collide “our” world with the fantasy world.

Don’t do that.

From page 1 you are setting up this fantasy life, fantasy way of living and thinking, fantasy people, fantasy stories and most importantly a fantasy you. Don’t break this immersion by literally making the world he (Cale) came from an integral part of the story.

When the main protagonist found out who Cale really is and confronted him about it by listing some Korean food items I was a little disappointed because it felt like a parent telling a child that role playing as a prince and over now put the castle made of pillows back in place and do your homework for school tomorrow.

Maybe it’s just a me thing but after that confrontation, every time Cale interacted with anyone be it the redhead, his dragon, butler or anyone it all felt so plastic and fake, like I was overly conscious of the fact that this is a fantasy land filled with fantasy people and well…it made me feel a little lonely."

Wow, this is quite interesting! Thanks for sending me this. Not because I agree – anyone who knows anything about my opinions on TCF would know that the very 2 points that the author of this post has "problems with" are the things that I embrace with great enthusiasm.

So, prepare for a long ride!

First of all, let me make this absolutely clear, the same way this person did at the beginning of their own post; they are allowed to have their own opinion on what they like or dislike. The same way I am allowed to like or dislike certain elements of stories. I don't claim that TCF is a flawless work either – it's just that all the flaws it does have, at least to me, are so minor I don't care about them in the slightest.

I might actually be "brave enough" in the future to actually make my own post about the "flaws" of the story for me, no matter how few. But not today. Today, let's focus on the reddit post.

Now, imagine a person (the author of this post) is given an apple pie in a restaurant.

This person very much enjoys apple pies. They continue to visit the same restaurant and keep ordering this apple pie. But after a while, they discover "two big problems" with the apple pie.

First of all, it does not contain cinnamon. So this person is like – why not! That is, they did not notice before, but it is SO jarring to them now that they know! Because they believe all apple pies should contain cinnamon. Secondly, this apple pie is made out of a species of apples they do not like. In fact, they are convinced this apple species is not fit for apple pies! So, they quit ordering apple pies at this restaurant.

Meanwhile, there's a second regular customer (me) who orders the apple pie at this restaurant. This customer, in fact, is kind of sick of cinnamon. They were so happy they discovered a restaurant that doesn't use it! This person also notices this apple pie has a very interesting texture to it, one they very much enjoy, because of the specific apple species this restaurant uses. It quickly became their all-time favorite dessert.

Obviously, neither customer here is wrong. "The customer is always right in matters of taste" is a saying for a reason (although people usually say only the first half of it, forgetting the second part), and just because I love the "apple pie" in question, I am not going to shame the other person for their own taste.

With all that said, please allow me to address to the post properly, step by step.

First, when addressing the lack of romance as a problem, this is this person's argument: they list major dark moments in the story, like Choi Han's village getting massacred, dark race racism, Raon's torture et cetera. Then they say, "The point is that it is very adult oriented novel with these stories but on the flip side their romance department is so negligible that even Tom and Jerry had more romance than this".

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe… Tom and Jerry had any romance either. That cartoon did not even have dialogue. So like, huh??? What kind of argument is that? Should I say that Tom and Jerry has a critical flaw that is has no talking despite being all about comedy? That it would have been better if it was dubbed or something? Well, there was that one movie I remember from childhood but – never mind, we're getting off track here. This argument kind of, completely falls flat for me.

I get the implication. "TCF is has so many dark themes, it should be mature enough to contain romance as well". Which is, completely off the mark for me, personally. Maturity and romance have NOTHING to do with each other.

There's also the statement that "It actively avoids [romance] like a plague." And I agree, kind of. This story avoids romance on purpose. But It never felt unnatural for me. I was kind of expecting it to pop up eventually, back when I first started reading. I thought for SURE Rosalyn would be somebody's love interest – because she had to be, right?? But it gradually dawned on me that there are so many cool, pretty, strong, independent female characters… And none of them are representing a specific fetish or exist solely to be somebody's wifu. The women are PEOPLE, they are fleshed-out, complex characters who have goals and ambitions and just like for the men, there is no thought about romance here because there is so much going on – most of it world-ending, in fact – that focusing in romance would actually DECREASE the maturity of the story instead of enhancing it.

The author of the post said, "It was so impossibly impossible that it teared through the immersion completely". What, do you need characters getting laid to be truly realistic mature adults or something? I think you have the wrong idea about adulthood… Let me say it again, those people are too busy in this story to focus on dating. Even if Cale himself wasn't so obviously ace, his life has been so crazy since he transmigrated, I have no idea HOW on earth he could have found the time (or anyone else for that matter: just look at poor Alberu, swimming in paperwork 24/7!). He can't even sleep for more than 4 hours per day during the war arc. What I personally would find jarring is exactly this: characters trying to freaking date or play off romantic subplots while the world was LITERALLY GETTING DESTROYED. That would have been so petty and ridiculous.

So, the expectation that there HAS to be romance, just because… I think it is a faulty expectation to have in the first place. And it is NOT unnatural that the characters don't do romance (especially with how many species there are among the cast and the age gaps between them, it would have been awkward to say the least; unless you're the type to like Twilight style of romance). The story put a lot of focus to forge familial bonds between the characters. It doesn't lack in the relationship department, just non-platonic one. And if this is a problem for someone and they find it jarring, well… Again, no cinnamon in apple pie, I guess.

Next, we have the argument that "when you read the novel like going back and forth between watching the looney tunes movie and switching immediately back to a Black Mirror episode". I don't know Black Mirror, but I get it. The author of the post claims that the comedic character interactions – the ones that had been very well established in the first 200 chapters of the story, covering full 2 years in the timeline – are… what, unrealistic? Inaccurate? Cartoonish? I’m not 100% sure what the exact issue is here.

They quote a scene where I assume Rosalyn is too tired to lift her arms and Cale offers to help and Raon says he's too weak and let him do it instead. The author of the post then acts confused, as if it was completely unreasonable, because Cale is not weak. Um…. I don't know if they were not paying attention, but that's just false. Cale is PHYSICALLY weak, despite all his Ancient Powers. That is exactly the whole reason why he keeps coughing blood and fainting and stuff. So it was funny, and in-character, and fitting with the rest of the story – at least in my opinion. If that broke this person's immersion, then fine I guess, but I really don't see the reason. I guess they don't enjoy the "texture" of this "apple pie".

Speaking of texture, the last point pf the post I want to address: the belief that you should not mix "real world" and fantasy. They say, "I personally believe that when you make a "reborn in a fantasy world" story you absolutely must never collide "our" world with the fantasy world. Don't do that". Excuse me, but uh… why? That is not the case at all, for many stories? I mean, you could approach it that way, nothing wrong with keeping it separate. But most classic isekai examples usually stray from that idea, actually. Are you familiar with Chronicles of Narnia, by any chance? Did you know that the magical lamppost that Lucy found in the woods actually came from England? It was a very fun bit of backstory from the Magician's Nephew.

"Don't break this immersion by literally making the world he (Cale) came from an integral part of the story." Why not, man??? It was so brilliantly done! In fact, it was so freaking cool, the way TCF did it! What, is "our world" so boring and terrible you must keep it separate from the fantasy at any cost? It was plot relevant, it gave Cale legit ties to the new world, it fleshed out his character, it was incredible! 10/10! If TCF lost that element, it would have been a great loss.

And even if you don't like the mixing of "fantasy and reality" as something "immersion breaking"… there is one problem with this kind of argument, in TCF at least.

Kim Rok Soo is NOT FROM OUR REALITY.

Let me repeat: the man is not from regular, modern Korea! HE IS FROM A FANTASY MONSTER APOCALYPSE DIMENSION!

The whole reveal of what kind of place KRS comes from is what make this story so good to me. It was an incredible twist. The "regular, normal man from modern world" was a red herring meant to hide the fact that he was an ability user from what is basically a superhero world full of monsters! It is not! Regular! Modern! World!!!

"When the main protagonist found out who Cale really is and confronted him about it by listing some Korean food items I was a little disappointed because it felt like a parent telling a child that role playing as a prince and over now put the castle made of pillows back in place and do your homework for school tomorrow." That… you really, REALLY missed the point here, man. That was not the vibe of the scene at all! Choi Han and Cale are both essentially war veterans, mentioning foods from their childhood! This the "Frodo and Sam talking about the flavor of strawberries from Shire at the foot of Mount Doom" from Lord of the Rings type of moment! Only, well, a bit more comedic. Still, it was so touching!! But, well… again, you don't like the taste of the pie, there is nothing I can do about it.

And lastly, there was this paragraph at the end of the post:

"Maybe it's just a me thing but after that confrontation, every time Cale interacted with anyone be it the redhead, his dragon, butler or anyone it all felt so plastic and fake, like I was overly conscious of the fact that this is a fantasy land filled with fantasy people and well… it made me feel a little lonely."

I never noticed such a thing. I do not know if more people felt that way. But I always thought that the characters were well-established and their behavior natural. I am sorry that the immersion break made the author of the post lonely. I hope they can spend time with their friends and feel a little better. Fantasy shouldn't just be a tool to "fill an empty void in your life and escape terrible reality". For me, stories are meant to create something beautiful, to inspire, and to make one consider the possibilities of reality. I mean, if Cale can stop world-ending threats by being brave and making good strategies, why can't I handle the minor problems that reality has to offer? It's all a matter of perspective.

So, that is it. That's my whole response. I hope it satisfies you! Have a great day!

[itskattkm]

The air in my Lungs

Chapter 7

Cairo Sweet x Fem Reader

Summary: A stroke of fate changes you and leads you into the arms of Cairo Sweet. Will she be your downfall or save you?

Warnings: 18+, loss of parent, Grief, Injuries, Smoking, Trauma, anxiety, sexual content, student x teacher mentioned, harm, blackmailing, bad grammar

A/N: Based and inspired by Millers Girl. Mr. Miller himself isn’t really present but will be mentioned. Hope you guys enjoy.

Masterlist | previous chapter | Next chapter

You were sitting in your car in front of Cairos mansion. The engine was off since 10 minutes already. You were taking some deep breaths and tried to stay calm. You weren’t sure why you felt nervous. Well that wasn’t true, there were indeed a few reasons but you couldn’t define which one of them made you feel like that. Made you sit in your car in silence for 10 minutes instead of walking to that damn door that looked like a three meter high door that was part of a castle. Well Cairo lived in a mansion so yeah… it almost looked like a castle for you. You leaned back in your drivers seat and closed your eyes for a second before looking to the duffle bag on the passenger seat.

Why did you have to bring a bikini? I mean the answer to that was pretty obvious in someway. But you still were t so sure about that. The more you thought about the fact that you were in front of Cairo Sweets Manson, the best student in your grade, the daughter of the most successful lawyers in Texas… “Holy shit” you whispered quite to yourself when the moment you realize that you were dating that girl, were intimate with her, hit you hard. Now your mind started racing like crazy, why did you need a bikini?

Why did you need to get wet? Did she want to have sex again? Was this going to be something out of her fantasies? Story’s she wrote? No one had rode her writing before, except the director and one teacher that isn’t here anymore.

Everyone talked about this in school, it was the biggest scandal the school had ever faced. Your old teacher Mr. Miller used to see the talent Cairo had in her writings. Turned out he’s used that for his own pleasures. Blackmailing her and forcing her to write those things. Some of the students were sure they weren’t just fantasies. Some thought that Cairo and Miller had an inappropriate relationship. You didn’t cared about the rumors back then but you were sure that Miller was forcing this and taking advantage of it all. Anyways. At some point Cairo told the director everything. There was a huge process wich Miller for sure lost. After that no one had seen him ever again, and the school had way much more female teachers. You rolled your eyes at this solution, like a female teacher wouldn’t do the same, anyways. That was the gossip, that were the rumors. So everyone knew that Cairo could write pretty intense stuff. But now one had seen it before.

Suddenly there was a loud thunder growl. You looked up and stopped getting lost in your thought. “Okay…” you whispered and grabbed your duffle bag before getting out of the car. You ran over the gravel path, the little stones moving under your shoes, making a sound that seemed very satisfying to you. You walked towards the porch that seemed to go around the whole mansion. You were impressed by the big oak tress around the house, and the facade was a combination of the color withe with brownstone highlites along the windows or columns. It indeed was the perfect definition of a mansion. Something between modern architecture and renaissance. You loved it and could watch the mansion for a quite long time.

Soft splashes caught your attention. You turned around to see that it’s been raining now. Leaves were bouncing in the tress when they had been hit by the raindrops wich started to get heavier. Another thunder growled over the town and made the whole scene in front of your eyes look like you were in some mystery thriller. You turned around and hesitated to knock on the door. Cairo would never hear your knock, that mansion was too big. So your finger moved to the doorbell and you pressed the black round button slowly.

Within a few seconds, opened the door and your eyes met Cairos body. Covered by a black silk robe while she was wearing a dark green bikini. You automatically tilted your head and couldn’t help but chuckle nervous “are you walking around like this at home always?”

Cairo smiled and started to get nervous with your eyes lingering on her body. She closed her robe and let you in, saying “to be honest? On hot summer days yes”.

She closed the door behind you and you were standing in the big entry hall. Large stairs in the middle of it, with two different directions leading to the second floor. “Your home is really aesthetic. No wonder you’re such a good writer. I can feel the inspirations everywhere” you said while letting it sink in.

When Cairo moved to your side you asked

“Okay… so why the bikinis?”. Cairo smiled mischievous and had a glint in her eyes while walking past you saying “follow me”. Without hesitation you did so and were able to see a bit more of the mansion. Cairo guided you through the west corridor. Interesting art pieces were on the walls and on some furniture you could see a few family pictures. You smiled warm, seeing the portraits of every family member, you wondered if they were real or just ordered like that, so it would look like it was painted. But your instinct told you that they were painted.

Soon you reached the end of the hallway. Cairo opened a dark wooden door. With wide eyes you looked around seeing a big indoor pool. But what made it even more impressing were all the tropical plants, the glass box the whole room was put in. You could see the sky, the woods around the house. You were speechless “to your right is a room where you can get changed” said Cairo calm and walked into the opposite direction. I looked after her shy and then went into the room she told me to go to.

I entered it curious and felt immediately like I was in a spa or something. I didn’t hesitated for long and got changed.

You looked at yourself in one of the mirrors there. Did you feel nervous? Yes. Was the fact that you were only wearing a bikini making you feel a bit shy? Yes. But why? Wasn’t it the same like in swimming class? Wasn’t it the same like being naked together in bed? That question made your heart beat faster. You took a deep breath and then let the air escape your lungs slowly.

Cairo was watching some beetles walking on the leaves of the monstera she was standing in front. When she heard soft steps behind her she turned around with a flirtatious smirk. Her eyes immediately on your body. Watching you crossing your arms and looking at her with a mischievous smile “you seem to be a bit distracted” you said quite making Cairo chuckled before she looked up into your eyes. She indeed was starting. Mostly at your breasts.

“So did you…” she said teasing and made you almost blush. You nodded, beaten by your girl and turned towards the pool. The grey clouds outside and the warm lights in the glass pool house made you feel a bit relaxed.

“So what was exactly your plan? Or did you just wanted to see me half naked?” You said surprisingly calm. Cairo laughed slight and walked a few steps forward. Stopping in front of you to make you look at her again.

You were so nervous the whole time that you didn’t looked at her sensible, seeing that Cairo was wearing her hair in a bun. You’ve never seen her with her hair together… or up before. Your eyes softened as you got lost in her almost black eyes, only seeing the reflection of the lights in the pool house.

“So why isn’t my girlfriend kissing me yet?” She asked bold while pulling her arms around your shoulders. You smiled and felt impressed cause she used your own words against you. Cairo enjoyed your reaction and pulled you in before kissing you softly.

Your body relaxed and your mind became blank. Air left your lungs when her lips separated from yours. “So my dear… why the bikinis? What’s going on in this frightening creative mind of yours?” You whispered feeling less nervous.

Cairo was smiling seducing and moved her hands down your shoulders to grab your hands. Backwards she walked towards the pool. “After you told me about the conversation you had with the coach, and about the agreement you made…” she slowly walked down a few stairs that were guiding into the pool. The water already covering Cairos knees. “I thought I should help you… cause you can’t get over a fear in just one day. And forcing you to swim one track per week? Only to give you a panic attack? That’s doesn’t seem logical to me” Cairo said serious and held the eye contact with you.

You were taking slower steps when she tried to make you followed her. But the more she got into the water the more you hesitated. You looked down, the turquoise water was moving in tiny waves because of Cairos movements. So that was what Cairo meant when she texted you “I’ll make sure you won’t fail”. Her intentions were cute, but you didn’t felt ready for this confrontation.

“Look at me” she said reassuring and squeezed your hands. You looked up into her dark eyes. You weren’t sure if you liked this at all, looking at her with slight frustration. “Hey…” Cairo said so soft that it made your body react with goosebumps. She walked a step towards you. Almost on the same height as you now because of the stairs. “I’m sure you can stand in the water…” she said reassuring. You sighed “yes but that’s not the problem…” you said hesitant. Your body wasn’t that stiff anymore so Cairo kept going into the water backwards with you. One step after another. Going down the stairs. Feeling how surprisingly warm the water was.

The moment you reached the end of the stairs, the water was going up to your chest. You stood still and didn’t planned to go further. You stayed there, near the stairs and the edge of the pool. “What is it then?” Asked Cairo quiet and let go of your hands, watching your body language. You watched the water with so much sceptic… like the water was going to turn alive any moment and do something to you. “Being in contact with it is okay… I just don’t like to be under water” you said almost not audible.

Cairo understood. As Someone who was trapped in a car under the water? She wouldn’t be excited about that too.

“Little Stepps” she whispered and gentle pushed you back towards the stairs. “Sit down… so the water would only reach your throat”. You looked back and forth in the water, your heart racing. The feeling of Cairos hand moving back into yours made you focus on her. Without speaking she slowly went into her knees. You followed her movements by sitting down on the stairs, till the water was reaching your throat. So you and Cairo were on the same height again. She was caressing your hand to make your mind drift away less. “What are you feeling now?” She asked, looking you in the eyes with pure attention.

“I feel like I’m having some heavy weight on my chest… and I can’t make the memories stop… it’s like seeing it in flashbacks. It’s also making my ears go numb” you tried to explain in a calm way. But your heart was beating already pretty hard. Cairos hands rested now on your knees before she moved closer to you and kissed you gently and long on the lips.

Your eyes fell shut immediately. Feeling heavy like stones. Your body was learning forward. Melting right into her touch. Min completely blank. Only her lips were there. Waves of goosebumps didn’t stopped to appear from now on. As Cairos lips left yours in a tender way she whispered, still close to you while caressing your tights now “what do you feel now? Can you name me three things?”

You leaned slightly forward, your forehead resting on hers. Eyes still closed as you tried to focus on your surroundings. “I feel your fingertips moving soft above my tights” you swallowed your saliva “and the small hairs rising up on the back of my neck along the cold skin of yours on my forehead” a peaceful whisper.

Cairo smiled warmhearted “what do you hear?” Your ears twitched light when you tried to focus on that now. “The rain hitting the glass house… the water flows into the drain and… my heartbeat” another wave of goosebumps took control of your body. You felt Cairos hand moving around your waist. Her lips brushing slight over yours, making them tingle. You lean in, craving for them to touch and as you did so, you felt like floating while your lips met.

Cairo moved her arms fully around you, holding your body with hers the moment your lips met. She was feeling glad about this. Hopefully about the process and mostly proud of you. „Why are we doing this again?“ you said with a fake confused expression. "To help you y/n... Don't think of this as a test. Just think of this as... A good time to bond." Cairo said softly while gently pulling you away from the stairs and into the middle of the pool now. She felt like you were feeling a little nervous right now but she wanted this to go well for both her and you. Cairo just wanted to help you and she also wanted this to be a memorable experience for you too.

You followed her quite while she didn’t let go of your hand. She just wanted it to feel like a fun and memorable time for you now. She wasn't gonna be strict with you and she wasn't gonna force you to swim by yourself like Coach Rey probably would. Cairo just wanted you to feel comfortable and she didn't wanted you to be afraid anymore. Not as long she was by your side. The further the both of you went into the middle of the pool the more the water rose up your throat.

"It's okay y/n... We'll just take things slowly for now and we'll figure all this out." Cairo said with a gentle tone as she grabbed you tighter by the hand now and slowly started to move you away from the shallow end and towards the deeper part of the pool now. She didn't want you to feel afraid now, but rather she wanted you to feel safe and at ease. At some point you felt the water touching your chin, you clenched your teeth and stiffed your body so you wouldn’t move, you didn’t wanted to go further. Cairo noticed y/n trying to stay still right now. "Y/n..." Cairo said with a gentle tone now while looking at you right now. She felt like you were trying to avoid moving further and she didn't wanted you to feel like that but to rather feel completely comfortable in this situation right now.

"Y/n, it's okay. I'll be right here with you. I'll make sure you're safe the entire time." Cairo said as she squeezed your hand tightly now and looked at you right now. „Yeah I know but… just…“ you sighed and said „no“ trying to find a reason to just say ‚no‘ slightly nervous. Cairo saw that you were trying to avoid moving to the deep end now. She felt like there was some underlying fear in you about this whole situation. Cairo also had a feeling that you were embarrassed about it too.

"Y/n... You know I would never put you into any situation that makes you uncomfortable." Cairo said softly while looking at you again. She felt like y/n felt like she was gonna make her go farther in the deep end but she also felt like you were trying to avoid what Cairo wanted. You laughed nervous and tried to hide your trembling emotions behind a smile saying „yeah I believe you that… but still…“

"Y/n, come on. I know that you're worried and embarrassed but I know you can do this." Cairo said as she gently took both of your hands again and moved closer to the deep end of the pool now. She looked at you with a calm and gentle expression on her face.

"If you're worried that you'll drown or something, don't be. I'm a strong swimmer and I will make sure that nothing happens to you. You'll be alright y/n..." Cairo said while trying to soothe y/n fear.

You were chuckling about the situation you were in and looked away a bit shy. Cairo felt like y/n was still very hesitant right now and she didn't know how to get her to go to the deep end without making you feel like she was in danger. But Cairo wanted you to feel safe.

"I mean it y/n... I promise you that you're safe and that I will not let anything happen to you. I like you a lot y/n. And I honestly want you to feel safe right now." Cairo said with a light and gentle smile while looking at you now. A quite sight left you before you let go of Cairos hands and swam over the deeper part of the pool very fast, only to get to the edge so you could hold onto it. You may seemed a bit calm but there were signs that you felt complete panic inside if you. Cairo watched y/n swim over the deeper end of the pool and she felt happy to see her make some bit of progress. But she still wanted you to actually swim in the deep end, and not just het it over you so you could hold onto the edges of the pool.

"You can do this y/n... You gotta swim now, not just hold onto the edges of the pool." Cairo said softly while grabbing y/n left hand again. "You've come so far y/n. And I'm proud of you... But you still gotta go a tiny bit farther now."

„No I’m good thanks for helping“ You said in a joking manner to avoid this all and tried to climb out but Cairo pressed you against the edge to keep you there. Both her arms resting on the edge, beside your shoulders. Cairo knew that you were using humor to hide your emotions here. And even though Cairo wanted to respect y/n wishes to not continue from here, she also wanted to make sure you faced your fear now. Even if it was maybe to much for now.

"Y/n... There's really no point in trying to get out of the pool now. We're already in here, might as well take that step now. Plus, I know you can do this y/n. You're smart, you're sweet, and I know you're brave too." Cairo responded softly to you while holding onto the edge and not letting you climb out now.

„You think I’m sweet?“ You said with a cute wide smile in a slight teasing tone to change the subject and not even cared about the other things she just said. Cairo could see your cute and wide smile here. And as cheesy as it was... you were actually pretty sweet to her now. She could feel your playful and teasing tone in your voice, but Cairo liked it. Y/n was just being herself and she felt so happy for you right now.

"Oh you know I do y/n. And you know that I like you too. So come on be a good girlfriend... You've come this far, might as well follow it through." Cairo said gently with a slight tease, while looking at y/n smiling softly now. „Go easy on me“ you said quite with a shy smile. „We’re in the water right? Let me get used to that before making me go to the deep“ you said calm but there was slight anxiety in your voice. Cairo felt like y/n was a still embarrassed. She wanted to be gentle to you so that she made you feel safe right now.

"Oh don't worry y/n... I won't make you go too far. You can start by swimming at the middle of the pool first. Just to make yourself more comfortable with the water." Cairo said while smiling gently at y/n, trying to make her feel at ease right now. Another sighed escaped your mouth, you didn’t wanted to do this but you did it anyway. Cause you didn’t liked to argue long.

After swimming for a while in the middle of the pool you were back on a point were you could stand. The water only reaching your shoulders. You may were swimming, but you did it fast to get over it.

The moment you stoped and stayed at the same spot you felt like a child. That was scared of water and needed to learn swim.

Cairo was just happy that you at least started to swim, and slowly try to get comfortable with the water now. She thought it was funny how you were acting a bit like a child with their fear of water, but you were too cute to not want to show her that you could do this right now.

"See y/n... You're already swimming just fine right now. And you're doing everything right so far. You can do this y/n. Just slower maybe" Cairo said with a light and reassuring voice while looking at you now.

"Y/n... You don't look like a stupid child at all. And you don't even need to learn how to swim honestly. But I just want to help you face your fear. Don't you think it's a great thing that you're at least trying to overcome your fear? That means we're making progress here." Cairo said softly while looking at y/n now.

But Cairo felt like y/n was also a bit frustrated at her fear of water. So she felt like she was also doing this for herself. Your body was still slightly tense „You know. I used to love swimming. Water. It calmed me down in ways… it’s hard to explain. I used to visit pretty often water parks back then. I also have a vhs with my first experience in a water park. My mom played with me on the tiny chute and I fooled my dad by throwing a ball into the water again and again so he needed to bring it back.

While telling this your smile grew wider and you got lost in the memory. "Aw that sounds like such a nice memory y/n. I feel like that could have definitely had some role in why you used to love swimming so much, probably because of the calm it brought to you back then." Cairo said softly with a light smile while looking at you now. She could see in y/n words how much she used to love swimming before, which made Cairo happier for you. Yeah you said quite and felt slight goosebumps on your body while looking down. You watched the water move around your body.

The memories of your car accident, falling into the river trapped under water in the car where still there. Cairo noticed the goosebumps on your skin. And she saw how y/n was still staring down in the water.

"Y/n... Do you want to talk about what happened? I mean, it can be really scary and traumatic. But You gotta talk to someone about it y/n. You shouldn't push it deep down in your mind and not let that out. And those flashbacks you have? Those are memories and will never completely fade away. But talking to someone can help reduce those memories and make it something that is bearable for you y/n.“

You sighed quite and looked at Cairo

„What am I supposed to say? Yeah I was in an awful accident, I was scared and defiantly in pain. I was dead for a few minutes. Brought back to life and felt like something was missing. Someone was missing…“ The last part fell silent in a whisper when you thought of your mother. Cairo saw that y/n was now looking at her, she could see the sadness in y/n eyes when she was talking about her accident, including how she felt like she was missing someone. Obviously, your mother.

You chuckled slight „It’s somehow funny… my dad and I were so depended on her… she used to joke that when she wouldn’t be here someday that we wouldn’t make it without her… and we never thought it would really happen“ you whispered . Trying to keep your emotions behind a weak smile. You looked up to the ceiling. Watching the rain crashing down on the glass. It was heavy, and there was probably going to be another thunderstorm. Cairo knew that y/n was still hurting from the loss of her mother. And she knew that y/n felt like she had to face this grief all alone.

"I know Y/n... I know that you miss your mom so much right now. You're so strong y/n. And you and your dad are both gonna live on and continue in your life. And you know what? I know that your mom is still with you right now. And that she's still watching over you y/n. She's never truly gone y/n. You just gotta always remember that."

„I hope so…“ you said with slight fear.

„The good thing is, my mom was never scared of death. But I? Oh… I was pretty bad and now more then ever since I was dead for a few minutes…“ you said thinking about it and how it felt. Something you wanted forget. "I'm sorry that you had to deal with death already y/n. Trust me, I get it too. But you know that your mom is still gonna look over you right? She might not be here physically anymore. But she'll always be there watching over you. Trust me, I know that you might feel scared... But you don't have to deal with this alone. You can always lean on me if you ever need it."

I leaned my head back in the water watching the rain falling down into the glass house we’ve been in. My ears were filled by water. A sound that seemed like it was quite was audible. Even though there was silence, I could hear the water movements, the drain and some other typical pool sounds.

„I always loved to go swim when the weather was worse. I liked the Comparison of warm and cold. Storms outside while I was swimming like nothing of the world outside could get to me. Enjoying the warmth, the sounds of the water, even kids playing around and the background noises of people talking. The smell of French fries wich were sold. Me lying on one of the swimming pool lounger and falling asleep“

While you were counting all the things you used to love about waterparks, you felt the goosebumps going over your face.

Soon you felt Cairos arms moving around your shoulders, her body leaning into yours. You looked down to meet her eyes. Both your noses brushing. Being close. Then she placed her lips on yours gently. You felt that your heart was beating a lot faster from the sudden kiss, and you blushed a lot from it too. Feeling her bodyweight on yours you felt like you were complete. It was like you were holding the summer in your hands. She tasted so sweet… even though she smelled like nature. Something soothing and calming. But also Smokey. Like burned wood, or maybe it was just the cigarettes? But no this was different. This wasn’t intoxicated, it was relieving.

Cairo kept kissing you softly, and she also started moving her fingers through the back of your hair as she felt like you needed to be comforted now. And loved.

Her tongue was parting your lips. A soft moan escaped your throat. Surprising yourself, how satisfying this felt for you.

While kissing you Cairo slowly moved the both of you to the deeper part of the pool. Making you go there without realizing. Cairo noticed how deep the side of the pool they were at now, she was losing the ground under her feet. You were walking on your toes, since Cairo was smaller than you, you reached for her butt with your hands and held her tight. Her legs were wrapping around your back, her arms around your shoulders. You were holding her tight on your body, feeling a need of Closeness and desire.

Cairo broke the kiss, breathing heavy against your lips, her hands resting on your shoulders, her legs crossed tight around your body “do you trust me?” She whispered.

“Yes?” You panted slightly confused and in the next moment. Your air left your body. Water making you go blind for a second before your eyes fell shut and you were surrounded by darkness. Pressure making your head go into a survival mode. Your heartbeat the only thing you could hear. And then… it all disappeared. Faded away. You felt the air coming back into your lungs. That was what your mind made you think when Cairos lips were pressed into yours.

She was using the distraction to push you under water, hoping the kiss would keep you calm. Hoping you wouldn’t think about the accident at all.

You wanted to inhale her air. You wanted her closer so you pulled her into your body. Not thinking about separating at all. Your fingers moving into her hair, kissing her back passionately. And then... Cairo felt how y/n was immediately following her to kiss her under the water.

She felt that your anxiety was going away completely while kissing her under the water. You felt like your fear of water went away now too. Y/n felt like cairo was always her safe place regardless of where she was. It didn't matter if she was in the water, or if she was in normal air. Y/n felt safe with cairo everywhere.

The moment both came back to the surface. Y/n looked breathless at Cairo and said “Okay… that was mean but it worked” Cairo smiled cheeky "But.. it did work." She said softly while looking at y/n now. She felt breathless herself, and it was easy for Cairo to see how y/n was the same.

Cairo laughed slightly. She felt like the both of them were now even and felt more relaxed now too. She felt even more of a connection with you. That they shared a moment like this with each other now. “Let’s relax now” she said and nudged your face playfully before giving you a soft kiss on the cheek and guiding you out of the pool. You still felt overwhelmed by this and were glad to just enjoy some time with Cairo now, without stressing about the water at all.

[indie-summer]

The Cycling RPF Rec List

for @wtfanworkclassification

(tagging the blogs of the authors I know!!)

1. Favorite smut: a vocabulary, expanding by @strigimorphaes

It’s almost unfair that I made myself choose only one for each category, but yes, if I must, this is The One Smut for me. To put it mildly, it makes me weak in the knees every time I read it. It must have been like five times by now. To be read with the AC on and a glass of water by your side. Gotta love p*rn with feelings.

2. Favorite multi chapter: Faking It by @goingslightlymads

Am I biased when talking about this fic? Yes, because it was one of my Secret Santa gifts. Do I think I am unfair? Nope, not at all! I’ve never had any other experience in Cycling RPF like when I read (scratch that, binged) this one: it made me laugh and cry and it had my heart racing and had me hugging pillows at 3am. What a ride.

3. Favorite Sci-fi AU: jonas vingegaard goes back to the sea by @bakurasilver

Beautiful and clever. A reflection on the meaning of life and love, undercover as sci-fi. Bawled my eyes out with this one.

4. Favorite Fantasy AU: Fierce Creatures by @inbetweenpages

Great world building, incredibly fun and hot. Come here for wouthieu and stay for mathsper friendship, a very mysterious vampire!Jonas and a sentient house.

5. Favorite fluff: Worth it by @ridingupsaturn

Melancholic fluff. My favorite kind of fluff. Read it about ten times and had my heart fluttering through all of them. Love is kind of awesome, isn’t it?

6. Favorite angst: Drought by booming_business (part 2 of the A Study in Water series)

Shoutout to sad carpenter!Jonas who made a complete wreck out of me. The entire series is excellent, but this fic in particular is a masterpiece on its own! Also foundational exes!tadejonas fic before it was even a thing. Groundbreaking!!

7. Favorite drabble: doing what heroes do by @etapereine

I have two favorite types of drabbles: the one in which you feel like you read an entire story in just 100 words and the one that immediately makes you feel in absolute need of a 50k story as a follow-up because of all the possibilities it introduces you to. This one is definitely the second kind. I really need a full Percy Jackson AU long fic on my desk in, like, a week ago. Olympian demigods at the Olympics maybe??? Someone please???

8. Favorite crack/comedy: The 2024 Paris-Roubaix mass heat incident by Anonymous

Top 5 funniest shit I’ve ever read in my life and I’m not even exaggerating.

9. Favorite non-cyclists AU: all hearts in love use their own tongues by @thedeadparrot

I’m sorry, I’m not really a well-studied person when it comes to English literature. This is the only way I could ever read Shakespeare. I regret nothing.

10. Favorite remix/fix-it: Unbelievable, or only in Gotham by Lili_Writes_Banhof

Yes I’m parcial yes of course I am biased because it’s fixing one of my fics, but I don’t care. It’s cute, it’s fun, it’s fluffy (like all the awesome works from this author), you should all immediately go read it!

11. Favorite Soulmate AU: All your life by @interdisciplinary-disaster

I never once had given any thoughts about geese before this fic. Also this is the only cycling fic where the main character is not one of the cyclists, but an adorably exhausted old goose (at least the way I see it, because frankly, what a scene stealer). It changed my core!!

12. Favorite rarepair: Jonas is the boss by @mundanememory

Because ok, now everyone loves Jonas/Matteo but back in April it was a rarepair!! And this fic is awesome and hot and clever and features little big boss being… erm, well treated by a lovable giant ginger, so it deserves a million recs!

[mundanemoongirl]

It’s time to address it. I’m black and my wip’s main character is white. Why?

The answer’s actually really simple. Because at the time I started writing I didn’t know it was possible for a fantasy book to have a black main character. I was just emulating what I saw.

And that’s on why we need diverse books.

But hold up, it actually worked out for the best. Because of who Daron is as a character. She’s a priveleged person who is unknowingly complicit in a system that hurts the people beneath her. Her whole arc is unlearning what she knew to be a better leader than those who came before her. When I thought about this, I realized the message wouldn’t hit as hard if she was black because of its real world parrallels. Somehow, her being white actually ended up being important to my story, even if race isn’t the same in this fantasy setting as our world and her whiteness is never really addressed.

So even now that I’m at a point in my life where I understand that black girls can be the main characters of fantasy books and I definitely want to see more of that, I’m happy how this turned out. My mc actually isn’t white just to be white. And you know what, that might be almost as important for little black girls like the one that I was, thinking that white characters were the default and black characters always had a reason for being black. I could claim it was intentional…but nah. I think my backstory is pretty important.

[wanderingswampbeast]

Long Post: Why I Don’t Like The Drow

I’ve been ranting about this to a friend on discord (a lot of points I make will come from him) but I’ve finally figured out what my issue with the drow is outside of inherently evil groups being dumb.

The drow are boring. Drow lore is less of a dive into a unique culture and more of a list of fucked up things they do. Like, I cannot name a single interesting aspect of typical drow society that does not directly involve murder, sexism, or slavery, or Lolth. And even then, most of those things are written about in an incredibly bland fashion with them.

The Drow don’t really have much depth to them, and are just kind of evil for evil’s sake (or “because Lolth said so”). They do slavery, but the only real purpose of doing slavery for them is “because Lolth said so”. It isn’t for cheap labor, it’s to be more evil. They betray each other purely because that’s what evil people do. They’re misandrist, not for any real societal reason, but because Lolth hates men. There’s none of what would make slavery an interesting topic or story element, no justification for why they should be allowed to commit one of the worst injustices possible, no real economic reason for it. They just do it because Lolth says they should, and from a writing perspective it hammers home the fact that they’re evil. They aren’t evil because they enslave and murder, they enslave and murder because they’re evil, if that makes any sense.

Them being written as comically evil as they are also hurts them from a worldbuilding perspective. They’re so reliant on slaves for menial labor that the lower class of their society struggle to get jobs. Drow culture so obsessed with betrayal and dumbass house wars that even when actively under attack from the outside they sabotage each other. They’re so decadent that their buildings are held up with magic and semi regularly collapse when a spell fails. To put it bluntly, drow society feels like one that should have collapsed in a few centuries, which, funnily enough, is way longer than D&D elves live.

Their culture being so monolithic also makes writing anything about them difficult. Every drow antagonist is going to have near identical motivations, methods, and ideologies as every other drow antagonist. Every drow protagonist is going to ultimately feel very similar to Drizzt, because leaving their fucked up society to become a do-gooder is such a common backstory element that they added a whole extra god just for doing that. In fact, you can divide 90% of drow characters from any official materials into these categories:

Manservant

Ambitious male, usually a wizard (5 bucks says he has long hair and a widow’s peak)

Dommy Mommy Warcrime Woman

Drizzt Do’Urden or one of his many duplicates

Self-loathing and/or resentful Drider

And finally, their existence almost purely to be humanoid enemies you can fight at nearly any levels is just kind of lazy. This is a problem that I have with the “evil races” of a lot of fantasy but having a group that’s evil by birth just feels like an excuse to not have to write actual motivations for your antagonists. It’s the difference between “go attack this camp of soldiers because they’re part of the SkullMurder army and their general wants to use our land to build a dread fortress” vs “go attack this camp of soldiers specifically because they’re drow/goblins/orcs/the dreaded peepee-poopoo folk”. Using stuff like this just feels like an excuse to not have to write an actual antagonist since it comes pre-written in the group’s lore. This has the side effect of whenever such a group is the antagonist of the plot, the players or audience know near exactly what to expect. The orc is here to conquer, the goblin is here to steal, and the drow is here to enslave or do some dark ritual.

I’ve legitimately heard people say “well if XYZ can’t be inherently evil anymore, who will we use as bad guys?” It’s very simple: whoever the fuck we want. Write an evil queen, or a scheming wizard, or an underground slave trade network. For God’s sake, anyone can be evil, you don’t need to tie that to a specific ethnic group and write it as “they’re just like that”. Write an actual character for your antagonist.

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics with no smut as requested in an ask that got lost somehow I'm so sorry! If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis/Harry -

🩵 forever is in your eyes by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 125k, fantasy) “Jesus Christ.” He whispers, shaking his head and resisting the urge to brush the back of his hand against his lips, erase evidence that isn’t even visible to the naked eye. Harry stands there, as though nothing’s changed, and of course he does, because he’s a statue. A statue that Louis has just kissed.

🩵 Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics

(M, 113k, lighthouse au) As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

🩵 An Amazing Race Around the World (And to my Heart) by Thingssicant / @slowlyseducedbycurls

(E, 89k, enemies to lovers) Or an Amazing race Hate to Lovers au

🩵 Into the Weeds by kair0sclerosis / @night-is-a-feeling

(M, 87k, character study) With the help of the captivating bartender, Louis, who he can’t seem to stop daydreaming about, and his enchanting group of friends; Harry remembers what it is to be alive. This is a story about small-town secrets, found family, queer identities, and the battle between fight and flight.

🩵 Let Our Hearts Collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo

(M, 76k, While You Were Sleeping au) When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.

🩵 another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 66k, famous/not famous) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band.

🩵 Forget the Silent Nights by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 44k, roommates) Either way, the last Christmas with the seven of them in that broken old house on Redwood all together was probably one of the most memorable holidays each of them had, what with the wedding and the the snowstorm and the raccoons in their attic...And the baby they stole, of course.

🩵 Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2

(M, 35k, omegaverse) the one where Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

🩵 All Out of Love by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(G, 32k, cupid au) Harry is a Cupid, who work their magic on a different plane, invisible to humans.

🩵 Fuck You For Ruining New York City For Me by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry

(T, 11k, exes) Louis broke up with him in their New York apartment, so Harry left the city for good. Except now he’s back, visiting with his new boyfriend.

🩵 Does it Ever Drive You Crazy? (Just How Fast the Night Changes) by xx_soup_xx

(G, 7k, strangers to lovers) Baker Harry Styles takes it upon himself to get his mysterious grumpy customer, Louis Tomlinson, to like Christmas by taking him on a disastrous first date.

🩵 Girl Crush by Hopeless_blue

(T, 7k, strangers to lovers) He used to be so close to fulfilling his dreams when he participated in X-Factor. But that was four years ago, and now, on a rainy day, he wanders the streets looking for a pub where he could sing sometimes. Charming bartender Louis is ready to give him a shot...

🩵 Why Don’t We Start Writing The Story Of Us by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa

(T, 6k, omegaverse) Alpha Louis and Omega Harry get off on the wrong foot, Louis has the worst timing, and Harry believes in second chances. Three times Louis asks Harry on a date and the one time Harry accepts

🩵 now i'm tracin' all my steps to you by @alwaysxlarrie

(T, 5k, 5 times fic) Of all the things Harry was prepared for this summer, Louis Tomlinson and his wonderful, wonderful scent isn't one of them. It probably shouldn't be as shocking as it is that it makes Harry want to nest.

🩵 Missed Connection by @kingsofeverything

(M, 3k, humor) Harry is absolutely clueless when it comes to figuring out if other guys are into him, so he enlists his friend Niall to assist. That may or may not be a mistake.

🩵 You & Me by @allwaswell16

(G, 3k, uni) Louis hasn't had much luck in love, so he decides to finally meet this boy his mother thinks is his match. As fate would have it, he encounters an intriguing stranger to confide in before he meets with destiny.

🩵 All The Way Home I'll Be Warm by @justanothershadeofblue

(T, 2k, friends to lovers) Harry & Louis jokingly send out holiday cards together as friends, and now everyone is congratulating them for finally getting together. A 5+1 fic, for Christmas.

🩵 skinny dip (in water under the bridge) by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal

(G, 880 words, exes) It’s a Wednesday and nostalgia might just get the best of Louis.

- Rare Pairs -

🩵 I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy (series) by @lululawrence

(NR, 29k, Niall/RoryMcIlroy) the soulmates AU where Niall won't know who his soulmate is until his twenty-first birthday, but becoming friends with Rory McIlroy is a great distraction while he navigates fame and does his best to be patient.

🩵 Blind Date by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(G, 13k, ot5) Louis Tomlinson, model and aspiring actor, has been chosen to appear on Blind Date. The only problem is, all the contestants are wonderful. And so is the host. It's making things difficult.

[shorthaltsjester]

honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.

this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).

but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.

anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.

[jag-rat]

Let's analyse the drow!

Quick history on the drow: The drow have been historically characterised as ‘evil’, especially in earlier editions their alignment was always on the evil spectrum. Even Drizzt Do’urden for example was a story that essentially circles around one ‘good’ drow who managed to rise above the rest of his kin and become ‘one of the good ones’. I think we also need to acknowledge that in the earlier editions drow definitely had racist implications around them intentionally or not. With the drow initially being described as ‘completely opal black aside from their white hair’ and essentially just existed as the ‘evil’ elf counterparts to their perfect blonde cousins. Now in recent years wizards of the coast have started to rectify this. As of right now Drow have been described as being more purplish grey in colour and are steering towards being implied not to be 'completely evil'. There's no doubt about it that the drow have had a rocky history and being overtly over-sexualisalised by the early writers definitely didn't help much either. But I still think there's something very interesting wedged into this unique race of elves. 

Lolth's role: Their main goddess is of course Lolth who even in modern renditions is always depicted as a chaotic evil spider demon. You could argue she’s currently the main reason why the surface folk still don’t like these dark elves. Even in Baldur's gate three which came out last year the writers make a point of emphasising that the ‘good drow’ are the ones choosing to rebel against this goddess. Now obviously this ‘good’ and ‘evil’ thing has always been a core part of DND, which makes sense given it was inspired by Tolkien who consistently made a point about there being two sides, good and evil. And it's still a very common theme in modern fantasy but I think when we look at Lolth and her connection to the drow from a more contextual standpoint this insistence of ‘evil’ isn’t nearly as interesting as exploring the greyer implications of how this Goddess came to be. Being viewed as ‘evil’ in the dnd universe is natural as Lolth is written as a chaotic evil being, encouraging violence, the sacrifice of first born sons, and general betrayal among your fellow drow isn’t very appealing. It's enough for anyone to wonder why the drow worship her in the first place if they aren’t evil. However I think it's also important to remember in real life when we create gods they almost always reflect our world, the good and the bad. Let's take Zeus for example, he was a pretty shitty guy, cheating on his wife, kidnapping women and punishing people for petty reasons. But he was still worshipped, he just reflected power and kinghood. And kings aren't perfect or benevolent, they can abuse their power and take what they want. People are complex and imperfect and so are their Gods. So a similar sort of argument could be made for Lolth. 

How the environment shapes a culture: The underdark is almost always described as a harsh environment, with creatures like hook horrors casually wandering around, mushrooms that explode when touched and let's be honest probably not a lot of food in a place with little sunlight or stability. Earthquakes happen often here killing many and flattening villages. The underdark is without a doubt an unpredictable chaotic and cruel hellscape where death is a guarantee and often occurs for little to no reason. It's not hard to imagine how competition could become everything here. That means that every creature living in the underdark, even every other drow clan is just another competitor for those sparse food and resources in an already barren and harsh climate. In an environment so unforgiving and competitive you can imagine how a Goddess such as Lolth would be worshipped. Because Lolth, like most Gods, reflects the environment her worshippers live in, she is characterised as being as cruel, violent and chaotic as the underdark is. And the teachings of violence, sacrifice and betrayal that she encourages of her followers might not actually be such a bad thing but rather the key to the drows continued long term survival in such an impossible climate. Traditions and culture almost always stem from a purpose, in this case how you survive. The cutthroat nature of drow culture mirrors the underdark in such a way that it ensures that the strongest survive (although it's important to note when I say ‘strongest’ I don't mean it in a literal sense but rather those who possess the qualities best suited for survival in that environment.) The strict hierarchical structure also ensures this, with female drow being favoured as they are naturally larger, stronger and more robust than their male counterparts. Which in itself is most likely because larger stronger women generally lead to a higher rate of survival in offspring especially in harsher conditions where a single misstep can be certain death. This physical and social difference lends itself to the spider metaphor of their goddess both literally and figuratively where spiders eat their males. But as unfair as this rigid hierarchy based on sex seems, it can be argued like many cultural phenomena to be a curated survival method in itself. After all you need fewer males than females to maintain a stable population which is an important detail when living somewhere with a natural lack of food. Even sacrificing your first newborn son as gruesome of a tradition as it is, in a way makes sense. It selectively ensures that the male population is lower meaning less overall resource demand in an already scarce environment will be lower while still being able to maintain some semblance of genetic diversity.

Solutions to these dilemmas?: Now of course it goes without saying all these things are horrible, sex selection, strict hierarchies and encouraged violence to decrease competition are all bad. However in an extreme dystopian sounding scenario such as this one it does at the very least make sense. And I think what we can gather from this is that despite all the terrible things, at least terrible to us living in the world we are, drow aren’t really evil. Not even their society despite its depiction is ‘evil’. Calling them evil is kind of like if lions from a zoo who get fed everyday started calling wild lions evil for eating zebras. We may not like it of course but it's not fair to call it evil, it’s survival. In the same way Lolth isn’t even an ‘evil’ Goddess, she's just a cruel and unfair one, made to reflect the natural violence of the underdark and the lived experiences of those worshipping her. When debating the drows morality it's just about context. It brings some questions to mind. Like if the ‘good drow’ drow who are against Lolth did manage to rebel and forcefully shift the culture of the drow to be more like the surface elves for example what would really happen? Would the drow stop all their violent habits and competitiveness to live happily ever after in a more equal world? Or when all of this ‘evil’ behaviour was ‘corrected’ would it lead to a ripple effect causing famine and death anyway? Who are the surface dwellers to determine what’s wrong and right when they’ve never had to survive in such an environment? Perhaps instead the culture of the drow would just naturally change over time anyways if the need for those more violent and extreme traditions subsided because there were more ways of accessing resources and building a stabler environment. Either way I don’t know the future of drow society, but what I do know is that it’s far more complex and grey than we give it credit for.

[talenlee]

4e: Spooky Heritages

Sometimes when you’re considering a way to make a character, the kind of thing you might need for say, a Halloween season short campaign designed to give everyone an excuse to sit around, tell a story, throw some dice and fight some things, you’re looking for a way to bring in something spooky. Something that isn’t going to show up in the normal births registry, something that’s going to obviously set the tone of a situation apart from the conventional Dwarf-Elf-Human-Yawn collection that’s been tumbling down the narrative staircase since Tolkein first middled the earths.

What if you want to play a monster?

I did an article on making Horror campaign characters a few years ago. Here’s a revisit to the concept space!

Art Source

Glossary Note: Conventionally, the term used in D&D for this mechanical package is race. This is the typical term, and in most conversations about this game system, the term you’re going to wind up using is race. For backwards compatibility and searchability, I am including this passage here. The term I use for this player option is heritage.

The Shade

You ever have that thing where you have like, a junky toy, and then one day you get a brand new version of the same toy, or the second version and you forget you ever owned the original one? The Shade is a dead human, back from the dead, that sacrificed its vitality to become part of the Shadowfell, which 3e longtooths will recognise as the Negative Energy Plane. Basically, a Shade is a Human full of spooky juice, and their reward for being a living undead is, uh,

Garbage.

The Shade gives up a healing surge and in exchange gets training in stealth, access to a pool of (bad) utility powers, and an at-will power that lets you set up hiding, which sounds like maybe it’d have some use then you find out it’s a standard action, meaning that odds are good you’ll not be able to use that stealth. Going into hiding every other turn means, functionally, whatever you’re using that stealth for is cut in half, and there are just better ways to try and make sure you can hide.

It’s a shame, too, because at its heart, what Shade feels like it should be, it doesn’t really have the means to deliver on. A shade feels like it should be insubstantial in some way, ethereal, at least based on the name. There should be something missing in the Shade, but in the case of this player option, the thing that’s missing is ‘a good reason to use it.’

Still, it’s a place to start. The vibes are a thing you can poach and put onto a different mechanical package. There’s even an example of this whole suite being outmoded in this very article! Oh no, not the next one, the next one is about scary frog people.

Art Source

The Bullywug

I’m a firm believer that in any arrangement of three, you do need to have one complete carry. It’s easy to list trios of things that can be spooky in 4th edition D&D, limiting yourself to the ‘good’ stuff that stands out. But there’s something to be said for reaching into the genuinely monstrous when that requires looking at something that pretty unequivocally sucks.

The Bullywug is a heritage that needs a rework, but seems unlikely to get one because nobody cares. The actual base heritage is from the Monster Manual rather than any kind of other sourcebook, and that means it was designed to not just be less appealing than the Player’s Handbook heritages, but also never supported thereafter because nobody cares.

The Bullywug has an ability that diminishes the ability of others to use healing surges around the Bullywug character. This sucks not because it affects your allies (who use healing surges) but instead because it doesn’t really affect your enemies (who don’t). Essentially, the Bullywug is a creature that wants to deliver on the fantasy of being a scary river monster toad beast, but also doesn’t give you any good reason to play it.

Which is a shame! It’s a shame because this is an otherwise unattended place for player heritages! If you’re running 4th edition D&D, and want to make sure people have good creepy/horror options, consider giving the Bullywug a look and goosing it. I’d particularly recommend adding some variety of swim speed, and really, the aura could be something as blanket as a -2 penalty to saving throws, and while that represents a unique form of a player character option, it isn’t something that works to do anything amazing on its own.

Nonetheless, you can have a big wide mouth and terrifying tongue so you can sing appropriately horrifyingly it’s beginning to look a lot like fish-men…

Revenant

Art Source

The Revenant is something of a cadillac in the heritage options for 4th edition spooksters, in that it is both a good flavour and a good mechanical package that delivers on that flavour. It’s pretty nice when you get that lineup and don’t have to deal with a good mechanical package whose flavour sucks (the Dwarf), or a heritage whose flavour rules but the mechanics are a complete crater (really, the Hengeyokai is our biggest offender here).

In the case of the Revenant, you are a dead person. Back from the dead to avenge yourself, or someone else, Crow style. The way this works is a sort of mechanical layering; the Revenant chooses what heritage they were when they were alive, and then they get the Revenant baseline but can use feats and other options from that former heritage. They can even pick up the heritage powers of that heritage, with feats, which is especially cool as an obvious ‘oh well yeah’ kind of choice.

The Revenant adds Living Undead to their types, they get a nice utility power (Dark Reaping isn’t amazing but it is useful for every archetype), and then something truly ‘weird’ in that they can still act while ‘dying’ through the power Unnatural Vitality. This power seems really amazing in its context – being able to do half-actions while ‘dying’ is pretty cool! – it has to run headlong into the problem of how rarely people spend much time dying compared to being alive. The niche application of it (setting aside funny build options involving drowning yourself), are such that you get to play your Revenant in a very cool, spooky way, knowing that you have the backup of Not Immediately Dying, but it’s also not likely to come up in any situation where it isn’t a reasonably fair thing.

Thing is, even if it only comes up once, the point where a baddie hits you, drops you to 0 hp, and you don’t die, and then continue fighting for three more rounds, and if you save you can keep going, and then if you crit suddenly you’re back in the fight while people around you go: Wait, didn’t we kill you, what the hell is happening here?

… that’s going to last.

That’s going to be a good, spooky memory.

Conclusion

There are more options, more places to go. Don’t be surprised if next year we’re doing this again, as we steadily work through every heritage and slowly but steadily presenting ways to be a Horror Character using each one.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!