#when the same consideration is never reciprocated

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Shit is just so. so. hard sometimes.

HOLY SHIT MY MOM JUST SAID SHE’S BEEN OFF HER MEDS FOR A MONTH

NO WONDER SHE’S BEEN A NIGHTMARE

ASDFGHJKL WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

[caramel-ribbons]

I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.

Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.

Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.

Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.

Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.

The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.

[withahappyrefrain]

“Stop wiggling around, I’m trying to sleep! Wait… what’s tha… oh!”

Forced proximity with best friend Bob?

A chance to do friends to lovers with Bob? Say no more!

"Remind me to never let Javy book the Air B&B again."

Bob chuckled at your comment, despite agreeing, "Well at least we have an actual bed. Reuben and Mickey have bunk beds."

"So all the single people have to suffer?" You scoffed, continuing to shuffle through your luggage.

The annual lake trip was going well, until the room arrangements were revealed. It wasn't that you minded sharing a room with Bob.

It was the lack of a second bed.

Twenty years ago, when you were both eight, this wouldn't have been a problem. But then puberty, high school, and base camp occurred, which brought to light the crush you had been harboring on your best friend.

"We'll make it work. And if it's that bad, I can take the floor," he offered, always the considerate one. It was one of the many traits you adored about Bob.

"Robert James Floyd, absolutely not!" You scolded, eliciting a chuckle out of him. It was deep and low, just like his voice and you didn't want to admit how it made your knees nearly shake.

"I've slept in barracks before, it's the same thing."

The comment would have gotten a laugh out of you. In fact, you would have even made a remark back, probably about how you've also slept in truck beds and underneath a wide open sky.

But then Bob Floyd took his shirt off.

It wasn't even your first time seeing him shirtless, far from it. But now he had filled out, with muscle and a dusting of hair that trailed down from his chest, past his stomach.

God, was he always this hot? Had to be and somehow you just didn't notice it until later. Perhaps that was the worst part; you fell for him because of who he was. It wasn't as if he had some type of glowup over summer break, like you'd see so often in those stupid teen movies you'd watch to feel better about yourself. No, Bob Floyd was always a beautiful soul, inside and out.

And he wasn't yours. Couldn't be. The risk of him not reciprocating was too high. Plus, your family was friends with his'. That meant Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, hell, even fucking Memorial Day gatherings would be tainted. All thanks to you.

The pressure was too high, the risk was too great.

But you could look, right?

"Sunshine?"

Bob's childhood now turned adult nickname for you broke the spell. Your wide eyes met his oceanic's. His hair, which had gotten darker over the years and now had threads of early greys, was mussed from taking off his shirt, some curls over the front of his forehead, others to the side. White shirt in hand, highlighting how massive they were when clutching the alabaster fabric. Brow's knitted together, combined with his narrow eyes and titled head created a downright adorable look of confusion.

"You,,,," he briefly turned around, to see if there was something on the wall behind him and that's why you wouldn't look at him, "You okay?"

You nodded eagerly, probably too eagerly, "Yeah sorry....I uh spaced out. Probably thinking of ways to get back at Javy."

Bob smiled, despite it never reaching his eyes when he nodded. You had turned around so quickly, unable to make such an observation.

"I'm going to go take a shower," grabbing the top and bottom you could find the quickest in your suitcase. You avoided eye contact with him, too busy feeling shame for getting caught doing something so lewd.

Rushing, you turned the water on in the showers. Focusing on ensuring you grabbed the correct products. Get the water to the perfect temperature and pressure, it exists, it has to exist because if it doesn't then you'll think about the dark body hair that went past the waistband of his jeans.

For about twenty minutes, it worked. You did your skincare routine, brushed your teeth for nearly two minutes, even blow dried your hair. Applied a lip mask, that stupid lash and brow serum the worker at Sephora conned you into buying. Moisturize every inch of your body, even though it was the dead of summer and you would sweat it all off before sunrise. That stupid reusable eye mask that you got because it was on clearance. Have you done the Wordle today, you should do the Wordle. You should do anything other than thinking about sharing a bed with your shirtless best friend.

It worked. Even put on some music, not too loud, just enough to hear and hum along.

It worked. For a while. But then you had used nearly every product in your cosmetics bag and it was time to get dressed.

Fuck.

You could never match a pair of socks, not even if your life depended on it. But tonight, fucking tonight of all nights, you had to grab a whole matching set.

The pale pink lace trimmed cami, paired with joggers. An oversized T-shirt that went further down than the pair of matching satin shorts.

You had brought the set when you were talking to a guy and thought you would be able to move on from the wonder that is Bob Floyd. What a fucking joke.

Maybe you could wear them, run back out to grab something else and run back in to change. No, why would anyone do that? If anything, it'll just make it more obvious that you didn't want to wear it in front of him. But what if you didn't change and Bob thought you had worn essentially casual lingerie on purpose? What if he found that weird? What if-

"You okay in there Sunny?" His voice always calmed you, always able to break you out of whatever self inflicted spiral you were on.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded despite Bob being unable to see you, "Yeah, I'm good. Just developed a more extensive skincare routine."

A short burst of laughter was released on the other side of the door, "You don't need all that. Already pretty."

"Bob Floyd, you are....." Charming. Amazing. Too good to be true. The love of my life,

"....too kind."

"Just telling the truth," his feet audibly stepped away. The butterflies in your chest were still exploding from his words. He made you feel safe, that this was Bob you were talking about. He'd never think you'd do something lewd or negative on purpose. Bob knew your intentions to be good. After all, he was your Bobby.

Just not in the way you want.

Your head cleared long enough to walk out the door, into the well lit bedroom. When he first made eye contact with you, you didn't even falter, simply smiling at him.

But Bob didn't say anything at first. Usually he'd make a teasing but well meaning comment about you taking so long. His thin pink lips parted, yet no words came through.

"Are you okay Bobby?"

The concern in your voice broke the trance. His features soften, his lips quirking into a half smile, "Yeah, I'm good. Just gonna shower and then head to bed."

Tension had left the room. Flopping down onto the bed, you scrolled through social media, watching all the videos and photos the squad had posted today.

"Uh, Sunshine?" You turned and lost your breath. Bob's hair was freshly washed, ends beginning to curl. A white shirt that was barely translucent and grey sweatpants that hung low on his lithe hips.

Bob Floyd had downright slutty hips.

"I don't think the bed is big enough for both of us to lay down."

Your brow crumpled in confusion, "Javy said this was a queen."

"Javy thinks anything that isn't a single is a Queen." Bob explained, not phased at all by this mistake.

Clearly it wasn't the first time. But you were still going to kill Javy Machado tomorrow morning.

"Here, if we both sleep on our sides, it'll be good."

"Like spooning?"

"Uh yeah," a hand came up to rub the back of his neck, "That's one way to think about it."

You supposed it was better than feeling his ass against yours, "Alright, well....come on in, the water's fine."

It took some time to figure out the arrangement. What was one supposed to do with their other hand? The final agreement consisted of your hips flushed against Bob's, his arm slung over your waist.

Zero awkwardness in the air. It felt....natural.

"Night Bobby."

"Night Sunshine."

Things were looking up. There was no way this would change your friendship or threaten to reveal your well kept secret. Sleep was well within your reach.

Then Bob moved. And kept moving. Due to his closeness, you felt every maneuver, no matter how subtle.

"Floyd, do you mind?"

His movements continued, as if he was trying to avoid your body while somehow simultaneously hang onto it.

A loud huff left your lips, "Stop wiggling around, I'm trying to sleep! Wait, what's that...."

Oh.

Your hips were flushed against his, your ass perfectly fitting the space formed by his thigh meeting his hip. Right against his hardened groin.

The sweatpants were thin. He didn't have anything underneath. Thanks to the flimsy fabric of your shorts, you could feel him greatly.

You were in bed with Bob Floyd. Bob Floyd was in bed with you, rocking an erection. You were being held by Bob Floyd, in bed. Bob Floyd had a huge cock, a grower.

Silence filled the room, tension thick enough to be cut with a butter knife. Neither one wanting to move, for fear of making it worse.

He let out a shaky breath. He developed a rhythm, almost imitating one sleeping.

You shifted, just enough for your thigh to rise, but subtle enough to play off as nothing.

His breath hitched.

Inch by inch, your hips began to gyrate, rubbing against his clothed cock.

"B-Bobby," you were panting, as if having run a marathon. His fingers sank into your hips, gripping the plush flesh as he flipped you onto your back, towering over you.

You moved to sit on your elbows, to raise yourself up to argue. From years of play fighting, he was fast as lightning, pinning your hands above your head.

Bob slowly lowered himself down until his nose brushed against your, his soft hair brushing your forehead.

"Twelve years." Was all he said, gritting through his teeth, squeezing your hands in hopes it would tethered him to Earth.

All that came out of your mouth was a hum of confusion. In the moonlit light, you searched for his eyes, trying to read them.

"Stuart Hendricks asked you to prom. You had been hoping all month he would ask you. Hell, I even helped him. Told him your favorite musical and which song to sing. I was excited for ya. And then you said yes to him and I wanted to punch him. I never had thought about fighting someone until then. Took me a week to realize why I was so angry."

Oh my God.

"Eight to ten years ago," you confessed. It was Bob's turn to knit his eyebrows together.

"Eight to ten?" He repeated, "Why is there a range?"

"I remember feeling....funny when you came back from boot camp. You had filled out a bit and had on those adorable military issued glasses. But it took me some time to accept what I was feeling," you explained.

How you found those glasses endearing was beyond Bob's understanding. But it didn't agitate him, it was just one of the many things he loved about you.

"That's a lot of time lost," his voice was barely a whisper.

You nodded, "Can we.....can we start making up for it?"

"Yes," he nodded, dropping his head lower, "one hundred percent yes."

His lips were like heaven. He molded his body to yours, chests flushed together, limbs tangled within one another. A hand that spanned the entirety of his neck, his thumb guiding your chin upwards so he could deeper explore your mouth.

"Heard you singing....and it just felt....felt like we were living together," he confessed in between kisses, "felt so right, like that's what it's supposed to be like."

Nodding feverishly, your hands found purchase in his thick hair. Tugging on the sun kissed locks, earning a groan from Bob that made your thighs clench.

"Can....can I touch you?" Always the gentlemen, your Bobby.

"As long as you don't stop."

"Wouldn't dream of it sunshine," his mouth latched onto your neck, leaving open mouth kisses along the side, teeth gently grazing your sensitive skin. A hand grabbed your leg, hitching it to wrap around his waist.

Bob Floyd was fucking heaven.

[luludeluluramblings]

dream team back. we’re currently yapping central again (per usual)

both of us are straight up in a tim drake brainrot spiral too!!! he’s a delightful little weirdo. a strange little gentleman if you will.

tim is such a funny little guy!!! he also makes a solid yandere. you can’t outsmart him. you can’t escape someone who can find everything about you. On the upside, I feel like he’d be happy to spoil his darling. also he’d be like, really considerate in weird ways??? I mean like you don’t get privacy (or you get the illusion of it maybe but not actual privacy.)

like yeah you’re always being watched in some way, but the man has committed every single one of your favorites and least favorites to memories. He knows what clothing you like, what specific features you look for in everything, and if he doesn’t, by god, will he learn. He knows your favorite song, and he knows the nickname you went by in elementary school.

Do you think he pretends to be normal and basically sets things up to send reader to be like a little love story?? You meet by chance, and he fell first. He fell a LONG time ago, so now it’s his mission to make you fall too. And Tim Drake ALWAYS finishes a mission. (Even as a baby daddy candidate). He makes himself the best option, even if he’s not the father.

Yandere!TimDrake x PastFriend!Reader x Aiden Cobblepot

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Sooooo, I'm finally and slowly going through my ask box and you two may have sparked an idea just for Tim. I might have to do a Part Two for this. (I'm falling into the WIP trap. Help!) But, I love the thought of the Bat Family have competition when it comes to their darling. Gives them a challenge. Plus, I really wanted to use Aiden Cobblepot for this. I've been wanting to sneak him into something.

A/N: We have neglected!Sib!Reader, but what about a Neglected!Friend!Reader? Fun idea. Tim already knowing everything about you only to find you’ve changed and wants to study you all over again. Only this time he’s keeping you! (I’m very fond of Tim. I think he’s difficult to write for me, but I enjoy the little stalker so much.)

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Romantic themes, Tim can be read as kinda platonic, GN!Reader

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You and Tim were once good friends. Well, he was your best friend. To him you were just a good one. High school buddies that would hang out all the time. At school only. And sometimes the rare gala you saw him at. It was rare you ever actually went to The Manor. You never asked to go. But, you had hoped to be invite.

Just like you had hoped that he might reciprocate that pesky crush you had on him back then. You had felt like it was so painfully obvious. Though it wasn't as painful when you finally figured out he was Red Robin and you waited and waited for him to tell you his secret identity. And, then you would tell him you already figured it out and you would look so cool.

Only, he never did. You both grew distant. You had put so much carful effort into keeping that distance from growing. Inviting him to hang out more. Asking him out for casual coffee. He always said the same thing.

"Oh, damn. I could really go for that right now. But, I'm just sorta busy. Next time though. For sure."

Over and over. He sounded like a broken character. Repeating the same phrase. One that you would hang around after the game was over to reminisce about all the fun adventures you both once had. However this was life not a game. You couldn't just restart and rerun the same adventures.

It made you ache when you finally moved on. When you finally pulled away. Because, Tim didn't even notice you were gone. His life to change. He didn't have to restart anything. You had lost your best friend and he didn't even care. It stung. It stung more than you realizing he'd never reciprocate your feelings.

But, like all things, time moves on and so do you. Leaving the past behind and starting a new game. One that you start to flourish in. Making new friends. Meeting new people. Building closer bonds and more healthy friendships. It had been interesting to realize how dependent you had been on Tim once upon a time. And, embarrassing. You can't help looking back on it with a wince. You almost want to reach out and apologize. But, that would be weird and you both live completely separate lives now. You hardly ever see him at galas now. Mostly because you don't go anymore.

Things, do change. You never expected your new partner would draw Tim's attention back to you. And, in such a terrible way.

You had a rough idea of what you were getting into when Aiden Cobblepot had asked you out to dinner. You figured he was only interested in you for your money or your half-decent looks or your family name and position. You had heard all the rumors about him, but still you went. Mostly, because you knew how dangerous he and his family were. And, you were… presently surprised.

He was a bit of an entitled asshole. But, he wasn't scared of getting dirty. You watched him lead you through the puddles of rain water and Gotham grim in the posh restaurant. He held more concern for you're clothing getting dirty than his, which were more expensive than yours. He paid for the date without flinching at the price. Encouraged you to try his own food from his plate. Talked about fond memories of the things he and his sister got up to as children while asking you about your own childhood.

Admittedly, you were easily seduced because after that the two of you became an item. You didn't even realize how official you were until he introduced you to his sister, Addison, and she was actually nice to you. Extremely nice. She did, however, threaten to kill you if you betrayed Aiden in any way, which was honestly fair enough.

Aiden and you were a bit on the opposite side of things, taste wise and morally wise. But, you both made it work. He continued his life of crime, but made no mention of it around you to keep you legally clean. You shared most of your life with him, letting him have a slight glimmer into normalcy. He liked to take you on fancy dates and show you a good time. You were happy to pull him inside just to spend personal time with each other. Of course, you both made compromises. Aiden had a taste for luxury, and you didn't mind indulging in it. Especially after you beat his ass multiple times in Mario cart. It was only fair you let him take you to a gala some point.

Little did you know that that was how Tim would come clawing and digging his way back into your life.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

For Tim seeing you again was like finding an old precious treasure. His life had gotten so difficult and complicate lately that just a reminded of all those old times was nice.

However, seeing you on the arms of the Penguin's son was a brutal wake up call. What were you doing? Had you hit your head? Was he blackmailing you? Drugging you? Everyone in Gotham could recognize the name Cobblepot and how dangerous they are. And, he remembers how smart you were so you couldn't have willing chose to be there. It's not logical.

For your safety, he reintroduces himself to you. Long time, no see. We should hang out some time and catch up. Only he means it. He can't let this happen. He can't let you fall in with a man like that. You're his friend. He'll win you over for your own sake. Ruin Cobblepot while he's at it because how dare he use you.

Even if you changed. Even if you don't smell the same. If your hair is different. If you dress different. Even if your very laugh had changed pitch, he knows you. And, if anything, he can just re-learn you all over again. It won't take long. He's done it all before. This time he'll savor though. This time he won't let you go as he pulls you back in. You were a good friend, this time he'll make you more.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’m starting to type up Part Three of Pregant!Reader, but I ended up coming up with another start to it with more drama that would be strictly for the BatBoys. The messed up drama in it sounds fun and challenging, but I won’t do it until I finish what I started with the blurbs I have planned included.

A/N: Smalltown!Meta!Reader Part Nine is going to take a while. I have big plans for it, but Pregnant!Reader is kinda outshining it.

A/N: I will post about the LoungeSinger!Reader and another idea I came up with that y’all might like that I’ll add to the concept list.

A/N: There’s a Tony Part Two coming, but it’s only halfway typed and still not that yandere-y. Need to fix that.

A/N: My asks box is full, so I’m gonna try to empty it, but I host Thanksgiving in my family and I’m also a Christmas nut, so I’m gonna be busy. (I have four Christmas trees in my house currently… But I’m not as bad as my in-laws! They had their trees up BEFORE Halloween.)

[hxnbi]

hi!! I love your writing :). I wanted to request an angst to fluff scenario where reader likes the boy and confesses to him but he turns her down, but then he later regrets it and comes back?? and they live happily ever after??? i don’t really have any specific preferences other than that but im such a sucker for rejecting and regretting/she falls first he falls harder scenarios!! im using her/she to refer to the reader rn but i dont have any preference, just not sure how else to write it haha id love if you could include suo, togame, and umemiya but totally up to you :).

hey so thanks sm for your request! i loved writing this and with these boys, tho umemiya's does end on a pretty angsty note with how i was initially drafting it. i hope thats okay ♡

confessions, rejections, and regrets

⸻ °♡⃘ . you confess to the boy you liked, only to be rejected. or so you think, as, unbeknownst to you, the next time, it would be him begging for your heart

⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Suo Hayato

Tears. All you could feel dripping from your face and down your cheeks was the salty aftermath of your own tears. And standing before you, the boy who had just rejected you.

"I'm sorry, I just don't see you in that light," Suo, with his hands firmly placed in front of the other, repeated, further breaking your heart into a million pieces.

Pitifully, you laughed—but little humour was found in the dreary quiet of your heart. "I know," you whispered, choking down the ache that was your confession to the person you'd grown to admire and love.

The pain lingered with every thought—that Suo was simply just too good for you, but so did your respect for him. Even if you tried your hardest to do so, you just couldn't find it in yourself to dislike him. 

Suo had always been kind, even as he rejected you.

That was part of why you liked him so much in the first place. Even if it hurt, you couldn't blame him for having such feelings about you that just weren't the same. You couldn't continue to be selfish.

"I know. Just, thank you, for hearing me out," you said, your voice becoming surprisingly steady, slowly accepting what you heard. "That's just the kind of person you are."

And then you walked away. You refused to let him see the fresh tears welling up in your eyes. You respected his choice. If he didn't reciprocate your feelings, you couldn't force it. It had to be mutual—or nothing at all.

Days turned into weeks, and though you still felt the ache of his rejection, like with most things, you had to move on and push forward. You treated Suo the same way you treated everyone else. Although, you couldn't deny that it was rather awkward after Suo saw you well up with tears dripping down your face like a waterfall. And it didn't help that you both were friends with the Furin first years, like Kiryu and Nirei, whom you were very close to.

So, time and time again, you would avoid Suo like the plague; all the while, he seemed to watch from afar, unsure of how to bridge the gap. You were always respectful, never bitter, never clinging. It was difficult, but you refused to let your emotions tarnish your friendship or make things awkward. 

Suo, however, found himself unable to stay away. He'd initially assumed your feelings for him were just surface-level, a kind of shallow attraction to his looks, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. He only realized this when he peeled back the layers of who you were—a kind, genuine individual so far removed from the superficial affection he had imagined. And as time passed, he began to notice more—the way you treated everyone around you with the same kindness and consideration.

But over time, Suo would see you purposely trying to hide from him, all the while pretending everything was okay and nothing changed. It was saddening, in a way, how your laughter grew quieter, your gaze avoiding his, and the fun and games you two once shared together seemed to slip through his fingers like grains of sand.

But you couldn't hide from Suo forever. 

"He just doesn't like me, Nirei.”

Taking a walk around the neighbourhood that evening, following his typical routine, Suo had unknowingly overheard you talking to Nirei. And unlike his straightforward character, he continued to hide behind the wall and listen, his heart aching with every word he caught from your lips.

"It’s not that I don’t care…" you said softly to Nirei, who had asked about what had happened between you and Suo. "He rejected me, and I have to respect that. You can't have a relationship if both sides don't feel the same."

"I see... B-But do you still like him?" Nirei finally asked, twiddling his own thumbs. 

You hesitated for a moment before answering, "I do."

That conversation was what really hit him hard. That you still liked him. That maybe... he wasn't too late to come around.

"Nirei, not knowing what to say to a person who seemingly still had feelings for one of his closest friends, winced, "He'll... he'll come around," not necessarily finding the right words, but you didn't appear to mind it. Rather, you were too distracted with your own feelings.

And Suo, hidden from view, felt his chest tighten. He wasn't sure why he'd been hiding in the first place, but suddenly, he couldn't bear to listen any longer. He shouldn't even be here, listening to your conversation and very obviously intruding on your privacy. 

But just before he could slip away, though, very conveniently, Sakura popped out from behind the corner. "The hell are you doing back here?" loud enough for both you and Nirei to hear and turn your heads to meet the noise—and Suo, right before your very eyes. 

Your eyes went wide in shock as you spotted Suo standing right there, seemingly who had heard everything.

"S-Suo, what are you—"

Back-and-forth looks were exchanged, and so too was the silence. Nirei and Sakura gave brief, knowing glances, and with a single look, Nirei left you two alone, much to your dismay and humiliation. 

You stood frozen, your mind racing with a thousand thoughts, none of which managed to form coherent words to say to the boy who had basically just heard you confess your feelings to him once again. Nervous and fidgeting, you finally let out a sigh. "Hayat– Suo, I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise that I'm not going to bother you anymore. I really—"

But your words and apologies were left on deaf ears—cut off mid-sentence before Suo suddenly reached for you, his hand gently pulling you toward him. Before you could even process what was happening, you found yourself wrapped in his arms, your head resting against his chest.

"I was wrong."

"…H-Huh?"

"I was so, so wrong," he muttered, grasping at the edge of your sleeve even tighter than just a second ago. "I thought you only liked me for shallow reasons, but... I've realized that I like you too. More than I ever let myself admit. And I apologize for making you wait."

You blinked, your brain going haywire, trying to comprehend every word that left his lips, but Suo only held you tighter, his chin resting on the top of your head. When you didn't answer, he went on—whether that was for your or his own reassurance that you wouldn't be the one rejecting him this time was unclear.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to see it, but I don't want to let this go," he murmured. "I don't want to lose you." He regretted every moment of him rejecting you since that day. And if you were to be the one rejecting him this time… 

Your breath hitched at the base of your throat, disbelief seeping into your every thought. Was he serious…? The boy who had rejected you, who had caused you so much heartache, was now confessing to the very feelings you had once longed to hear.

'You make it so unfair…' you muttered. 

Part of you wanted to reject him, to make him feel how you felt after he rejected you. But deep down, you knew you couldn't find it in yourself to throw away this chance. And neither could Suo.

"I… I still like you, too."

Your voice was hardly audible, but Suo heard it loud and clear. He pulled away just enough to meet your eyes, his expression soft and vulnerable. "Then let's start over."

Your lips trembled into a small smile. "Alright."

Suo leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, until Suo suddenly grabbed your hand, making you jump slightly. "Come on," he said, tugging you gently. "Let's go grab something to eat. I know of a good spot that just opened that serves your favourite food."

"W-Wait, Hayato, I thought you were on a diet?" you stammered, completely caught off guard by his change in behaviour. He had always been strict about his routine—always so disciplined, so focused. But now, he seemed different. Lighter, somehow. But that was Suo for you.

He smiled, softer this time, his eyes lovingly meeting yours. "I can't miss this opportunity to spend time with a special someone. You can't keep avoiding me forever," making your face flush crimson as his words sunk in.

⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Togame Jo

Shit… he shouldn't have said that.

Togame's words had slipped out before he could stop them, and the second he did, he knew he had fucked up. He cursed from under his breath, his hands already reaching out toward you as your face crumpled with hurt.

You stood there, staring at him—processing every snide word that left Togame's mouth—your chest rising and falling as if you were struggling even to breathe. He didn't mean it. He knew he didn't mean it, and he was pretty sure you knew that, too. But the damage was done, and he could see it in your eyes, the way he could see the shimmering of unshed tears ready to drip down your flushed cheeks..

"I'm sorry," Togame said immediately, his voice softening as he pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you like a protective barrier. He could feel you stiffen in his hold, your hands pushing weakly against his chest, but he wasn't about to let go, not on that horrible note. 

"Let go, Jo," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "You made your decision. You've... I've already said enough."

But Togame wasn't listening. Not with what he just had done and said that only left him with regrets. He couldn't take it anymore. Not the sadness in your voice, not the way you tried to pull away from him like he was a stranger. No, he wasn't letting you walk away like this, not after everything you had shared. And certainly not after everything he just spat at you.

"I didn't mean it, okay?" His words were rushed, almost desperate. Togame's grip on you only tightened with time, refusing to let go even an inch. "I was stupid. I-I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was saying, but I promise you, I'll fix this. I can't stand seeing you like this."

Your heart hurt at his words. You were utterly torn between wanting to believe him and protecting yourself from further hurt. After all, he had already said plenty… "You don't get just to say something like that and then take it back, Jo. It doesn't work like that..."

Togame's breath hitched as your words sliced the air and, in turn, his heart. His mind and body froze

That wasn't it. Not at all. He liked you. He loved you.

His rejection was but a projection of his own insecurities—that he wouldn’t be the right person for you.

But never did he think that he too didn’t want anyone else in your life, that it made his heart ache just thinking about it, the idea of someone else seeing your smile, hearing your laugh and holding the piece of your heart he so desperately longed for—that he previously had thrown away. 

He hated himself for it—hated that he’d let his fears dictate his actions, that he’d hurt the one person who made his world feel less empty.

But he couldn’t let this end here. Not like this.

"I know. But— fuck…" he said quietly, his voice breaking, cracking into incomprehensible pieces of a heartbroken sentence. His shoulders trembled as he finally loosened his rough grip on you. Although his hands still rested hesitantly on your shoulders. “I know I can’t undo what I said, but I need you to know... I was wrong. I’m so damn wrong, and I’m so sorry.”

Scrunching your face, you shook your head, gaze fixed on the ground as you tried to will away the tears that had long streamed down your face. “Why, Jo?”

Why. A simple explanation as to his stupid, idiotic, impulsive mistake was all that you wanted from him. 

His heart clenched at your words. Pure guilt tore him apart. He wished he could go back and rewind time to the moment before his insecurities took over. But he couldn’t. All he had now was this moment to make things right.

“Because I’m a coward!” 

His confession all tumbled out in a rush, unfiltered. “I’m a fucking coward.” Every word was a weight being lifted from his chest, all in hopes that you might understand might hear him out, even if it wouldn’t completely change things.  “I thought... I thought you deserved someone better. Someone who wouldn’t screw things up like I always do. Someone who could make you happy without dragging you into all my mess.”

Your eyes flickered up to meet his, for once, the honesty in his voice catching you heavily off guard. He appeared to be so unusually vulnerable, completely stripped of the bravado he usually wore like armour on his fists.

“But I can’t stop thinking about you,” he continued, his hands sliding down your arms as if needing a sense of reassurance that you were still with him and by his side and not a figment of his imagination. Hesitant but hopeful. “Every time I tried to push you away, it just made me want you more. And I was a complete idiot for thinking I could ever be okay without you.”

“Togame...”

“And I get it if you hate me for this,” he interrupted, all the words tumbling out of his mouth before he lost his nerve. “But I need you to know... I’m not asking for a second chanc—” he paused his sentence, before he could lose his resolve completely. “I love you. I’ve loved you all along, even when I was too scared to admit it.”

Your chest tightened. You oh-so-wanted to stay angry, to hold onto the pain, but his confession was undoing every wall you had tried to build.

“I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Just... don't walk away from me. Please. Not like this."

“.....”

“...Do you mean that?” 

Your voice was hardly audible as you looked up at him.

“More than anything.” 

Togame cupped your smaller face in his callous hands, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down your cheek, kissing the pain away.  “I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that’s what it takes.”

For the slightest moment, neither of you spoke. You could hardly hear a thing other than the sound of your breathing and the beat of his heart pressed tightly against yours. You felt his arms around you, warm and safe, and despite everything, a part of you wanted to stay right there, to believe that things could be okay. 

Then, slowly, you nodded, the smallest of smiles breaking through your tears. “I hate that you’re so good at making me believe you,” you said softly, for the first time all day, a small laugh escaped your lips. And it was heavenly. It was what he loved so much about you. 

Togame’s lips quirked up in a tentative grimace. “Does that mean… I get another shot?”

“Don’t make me regret it,” you murmured, but your voice was warm, filled with the hope that maybe—just maybe—this time things could be different. "I'm not going anywhere," you finally said. "But you have to mean it this time, Jo."

He nodded, his forehead resting against yours. "I do. I promise."

So, just like that, you let it go. Slowly, you relaxed in his arms, letting the weight of your sadness slip away, if only for a moment. Togame didn't let go, and neither did you.

And in that moment, wrapped in his arms, you allowed yourself to believe him. For now, that was enough.

⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Umemiya Hajime

"But we can still be friends!" Umemiya's voice rang out, almost too cheerful for the conversation you'd just had. He flashed you that familiar smile, oblivious to how his words felt like a punch to your chest. 

"Oh! There's actually an event at Furin soon. I know you like a good barbecue. You should join us! It'll be fun!"

You stared at him, nonblinking, and for a brief second, you couldn't believe he was serious. How could he be so, casual? He must be playing you, right...? But no, that was just how Umemiya was, as you've found him for years.

You had just poured your entire heart into him, and in return, he offered you friendship—a friendship that you already had with him for years—as if it were a consolation prize. 

But your heart ached so much, desperate for any kind of connection to him, that even the slightest bit of attention, however hollow, felt like a lifeline. So you nodded, forcing a polite smile across your face. "Yeah... sure, I'll come."

And just like that, you became that of a shadow, a close friend who laughed at his jokes, stayed by his side when he needed someone, and cheered for him during the times when you both would play video games. You were nothing more than a mere member of his Furin family. All the times you would talk and laugh together with them were great,  and even the occasional late-night hangouts. But it wasn't enough. It was never fully enough. 

Staying close to Umemyia only made you want him more, and that fact haunted you. Being so close to him yet knowing you couldn't have him the way you wanted was agony. The more time you spent around him, the more you craved his attention, but not as a friend, no, but as something more. It gnawed at you, that longing, and with each passing day, it became harder and harder to pretend. 

It wasn't just unfair to you—it was unfair to him, too. He deserved someone who wouldn't secretly hope for something more, who wouldn't keep pushing the boundary between friendship and something deeper. You knew this arrangement couldn't go on, not without tearing you apart.

So, one night, after finally gathering the courage, you decided to put an end to it. But unbeknownst to you, Umemiya wasn't doing any better either. 

Before, he never considered you more than a friend—someone who'd been there through all the ups and downs, always supportive, always kind, always you.

He never questioned the ease with which he could talk to you or the way your laughter seemed to brighten the atmosphere of any room you were in. 

So when you finally confessed to him that very day—that your feelings toward him were more than what he thought—he hadn't thought much of it beyond friendship. He didn't think it was deeper than that… not until after he turned you down.

At first, Umemiya was convinced it was the right thing to do. He told himself he didn't feel the same way. But as the days passed, those same thoughts weighed differently on him. The way you still smiled at him, still treated him the same even after his rejection—it gnawed at him. 

He started seeing the little things he hadn't noticed before. The way you always knew exactly what to say to cheer him up after a bad day, the way your eyes lingered on him for just a second too long, the way your laugh sounded like it was just for him. 

And suddenly, it wasn't just about friendship anymore.

At night, alone with his thoughts, he realized he had been wrong. So, so wrong. The feelings he'd dismissed as just a fleeting affection had grown—almost insidiously—into something he couldn't ignore. It became a constant. An ache of longing to be near you, but this time, not just as a friend, but as someone who could hold you, kiss you, call you his own. 

So when you suddenly asked for him to, and you meet up together alone after the barbeque, Umemiya's heart jumped in his chest. This was it. This was his chance to fix everything and correct his mistake, to tell you the truth, to apologize for being so dense. He was ignorant, blatant even, to one of the dearest people in the world to him. 

Tonight, he was going to do it. He was going to make it up to you by apologizing and asking for forgiveness. He was excited, hopeful even, imagining the moment when he'd pour out his heart and beg for your forgiveness. You were kind, after all. You'd understand. You had to.

He could barely contain his nerves as he waited for you, replaying his apology speech over and over in his mind. 

But when you arrived, something felt off. But Umemyia merely brushed it off as mere nerves. But then you spoke.

"I can't do this anymore."

Your eyes met his, and for a moment, Umemiya's heart stopped. He forced a laugh, trying to shake off the unease creeping into his chest. "What do you mean? O-Oh! If you're talking about how Sakura was acting earlier, hah, he doesn't mean it! You know how he is, just messing around."

But you didn't smile. You didn't laugh. Your expression remained serious, and it made his stomach drop. No, it couldn't be, right?

"Umemiya, I can't do this anymore," you repeated once again, your voice breaking, trembling in a way he had never heard before. "I can't just act like nothing happened anymore. I thought that I could continue being your friend. I really tried. But... it hurts too much. Please, I—"

His heart clenched. No, no, no—this wasn't right. This wasn't how tonight was supposed to go. He was supposed to apologize, to tell you how he felt, to fix things. But now, seeing you like this, so hurt, it paralyzed him.

"Don't say it."

"Hajime, please. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

No, he couldn't let you walk away. Not like this. Not when everything had finally clicked for him. Before he could stop himself, the words spilled out, desperate and unplanned.

"—BUT I LOVE YOU!!"

And he said it.

The moment those words escaped his lips, everything seemed to freeze, and the silence that followed was unbearable. He watched you, waiting for some sign, some reaction that would let him know he wasn't too late. But your eyes... they were filled with so much pain, it made his heart ache even more.

You didn't speak right away, and the longer the silence stretched, the more regret began to claw at him. Why hadn't he seen it sooner? Why did he wait until now, when you were standing here, on the verge of walking away, to realize how much you meant to him? His own foolishness, his blindness—it was too much to bear.

"Why now?" you finally asked. Your voice was soft, barely audible, as if you were afraid of the answer he was giving. It wasn't angry, but it wasn't hopeful either. It was aching, that desperate part of you. "Why... after everything?"

Umemiya couldn’t answer. He didn't have a good reason. He just knew that he loved you now, that he couldn't imagine his life without you in it. But he also knew that might not be enough.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his hands trembling at his sides. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize... I didn't know until it was too late."

The tears in your eyes broke him. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He thought he'd be able to fix things, to make everything right, but now it felt like everything was slipping through his fingers.

And much to his horror, you shook your head slowly, stepping back, the distance between you growing—both physically and emotionally. "It's not fair, Hajime. You can't just say that now... not after everything."

For the first time in his life, Umemiya Hajime didn’t know what to say. He stood there, stunned, the words he wanted to say lodged in his throat because, deep down, he already knew.

He didn’t have the right to ask for more when he had rejected the very thing he now realized he couldn’t live without. He had turned you away, convinced it was for the best, only to understand far too late just how much he had thrown away. His indecision—his cowardice—had led to this moment. And now, it wasn’t just his heart breaking; it was yours, too.

He opened his mouth, tried to reach for you, but his arms fell back to his sides. He couldn’t keep making excuses. He couldn’t selfishly try to pull you back, not when his own fickleness had caused you so much pain.

So he let it happen. Right before his very eyes, he watched you take another step back, your face etched with a hurt he knew he had no way of easing. And when you turned, it felt as though the entire world had slipped out of his grasp.

The streets around him blurred as he stared at the spot where you had just stood, his mind and body going through the realization that he might just never get the chance to fix this.

“Wait...” he whispered hoarsely, hand unconsciously reaching forward, but the word fell into the silence, unheard and unanswered.

And with that, you were gone, leaving him behind—alone, with but the cold remnants of his mistakes.

lol i also noticed how each just gets slowly more bittersweet to straight up angsty in umemiya's

©hxnbi. comments, reblogs and likes are always appreciated ♡

[munson-blurbs]

Living After Midnight (Failed Rockstar!Eddie x Motel Worker!Reader)

♫ Summary: Eddie's rejection made you question your own hopes and dreams, but the consequences were even more dire for him. (3.6k words)

♫ CW: slowburn, strangers-to-lovers, angst, drug use, parental conflict, poverty, homelessness, depiction of alcoholism, eventual smut (18+ only, minors DNI)

♫ Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

chapter three: turn the lights back on

Eddie left during Dad’s shift on Friday. Over the years, there were more than a handful of guests who’d put up a fight when check out day arrived, but he wasn’t one of them. 

When you’d inquired about his departure, as nonchalantly as you could, Dad only said that Eddie had signed the log and walked off without any formal goodbye. 

“What time?”

“Six-thirty, or thereabouts. No later than seven.”

Almost as if he’d waited for you to clock out. Purposely avoiding you.

You shrugged off the thought, chastising yourself for taking a harmless coincidence so personally. Maybe he had to be somewhere early or wanted to beat the rush hour traffic. Maybe he didn’t even take your presence—or lack thereof—into consideration. 

He did, however, swipe the blanket from his bed, leaving behind just the pillow and a rumpled sheet. Disappointment wove its way through your veins at its finality. He was simply another guest, another face stored in the depths of your memory with some many other one-timers. 

Making a mental note to replace the blanket before the summer crowd arrived, you stripped the remaining sheet and pillowcase and made the bed with clean ones. The fabric was so worn that it was nearly transparent, barely concealing the litany of stains that decorated the old mattress. 

Eddie didn’t appear to have added any to the collection. That was something, you supposed. 

Your Friday and Saturday evenings were always spent the same way: watching groups of friends traipse up and down the boulevard, laughing at jokes that were only funny because everyone was on the right side of tipsy. Rain or shine, teenagers could always be counted on to frequent the local bars and liquor stores that didn't bother to check for identification.

Sundays brought the usual sense of existential dread; the week ahead was daunting and the week prior was a blur of exhaustion. A new guest checked in, an older woman who’d missed her flight out of LaGuardia and needed a place to stay until the next plane took off in the morning. You almost put her in room four, the key temptingly dangling from its hook, but you plucked the one for room three instead. 

And then Monday arrived, baring its ugly teeth in a menacing grimace. It exhaled a rancid puff of morning breath, the same smell that belched from the bus’s tailpipe. 

Backpack sagging low with the weight of overpriced textbooks, you dragged yourself towards the bus stop. Your only reprieve is that today marked the last week of classes. All that remained after that was finals week, and then you were done. 

The typical small collection of commuters greeted you in traditional New York City fashion: tired half-smiles with a respectful lack of eye contact that you reflexively reciprocated. One of the older men sat on the bench, but the normally empty spot next to him was occupied by none other than Eddie Munson. He kept his guitar case safely clenched between his thighs, his garbage bag suitcase leaning against his left leg. 

Curiosity nudged you and wormed its way into your thoughts. Where was he going? Was he staying at a different motel, one that had cable so he could watch MTV whenever he needed? 

Or maybe he was en route to Port Authority so he could high-tail it back to not-New York, to his hometown where people considered it polite to strike up conversations with strangers.

Wherever his destination was, it was no longer your problem.

If he noticed you, he gave no indication. His vacant stare never left the ground, vaguely looking up one time to light a cigarette. He cupped a hand around the flame, blocking his view of you. 

It was probably better that way.

The bus hissed as it pulled up to the stop and the doors hinged open to let passengers board. Would he sit next to you? Would he position himself as far away as possible? Or was he wholly indifferent, regarding the exchange as out of sight and out of mind?

Taking a seat towards the back, you searched for him in the sea of faces. You could apologize, explain you were only trying to help and never meant to embarrass him, and the two of you could part ways knowing that you didn’t look down on him. 

But there was no sign of the frizzy curls that he wore like a crown, no guitar case inching into the aisle. For all intents and purposes, this bus was an Eddie Munson-free zone.

A disappointed ache settled in your chest and you massaged your sternum in hopes of alleviating it. When the driver turned the wheel away from the curb, you caught a glimpse of Eddie through the fingerprint-smudged window, sitting on the bench just as he had since you’d arrived. 

Except this time, he was looking directly at you. It was intentional; he’d seen you waiting at the stop and waited until conversation was an impossibility before daring to glance your way. 

He averted his gaze the moment your eyes locked onto his. It was so fast that you worried that you’d imagined it. A sleep-deprived hallucination, even. 

You didn’t stop looking even as the bus left the stop. You watched him toss his cigarette butt to the ground and crush it with the sole of his sneaker. You watched him take another one and place it between his lips. You watched trembling fingers dig into his jacket pocket and take out the lighter once again. 

He was out of sight before you could see a spark. 

Excitement hummed through campus, a live wire that electrified even you. It was hard to ignore the end-of-semester buzz, especially with the sun warming the air in a soft spotlight. 

Other students sat on the quad, blankets tucked underneath them as they ate lunch with friends. Their mouths moved in conversations about exam cramming and upcoming parties and post-graduation plans. You wanted to bottle their lightheartedness and carry it around with you, dipping into it when life got too serious and dabbing it on your pulse points like perfume. 

Fluorescent bulbs replaced the natural light as you walked the hall towards the classroom. You slid into your usual spot and placed your bag on the adjacent chair to reserve it for Nora. Until she arrived, you’d be left alone with only your thoughts to keep you company. 

Great. 

The memory of the other night, of Eddie’s sullen expression and the way his lips hardened into a frown, was a stone in your stomach.

How could he think that you pitied him, looked down on him for his circumstances? Wasn’t it obvious from the motel’s disrepair that you weren’t exactly living in the lap of luxury either? And yet, he’d perceived your attempt at an alliance as some sort of enemy threat. You wanted to shake his shoulders and yell, “we’re on the same team!” but it would probably just bounce off of his MTV-obsessed brain without him ever processing it. 

Eddie’s reaction wasn’t the only part of the confrontation that bothered you. No, what really drove you to the brink of insanity was that the confrontation bothered you at all. 

How many guests were snippy or even downright mean to you over the years? How many had raised their voice over the most trivial matter? You had lost count of the number of times someone had spat the word ‘bitch’ in your direction because of low water pressure or a lightbulb that needed replacing. 

And yet, this is the instance that grated at you, had you wondering if he’d looked away from you this afternoon out of disdain, guilt, embarrassment, or some combination of the three.  

It shouldn’t have even mattered. So what if he hated you? He was out of the motel, which meant that his problems were no longer your concern. 

The click of the door being wrenched open forced you out of your thoughts and back to reality. 

“Last week of classes!” Nora trilled with a wide grin. She practically skipped to your side, slinging her backpack over the wooden chair back. “Then we have finals,” she contorted her face in disgust before resuming her excited disposition, “and then we graduate!”

She plopped down in her seat, adjusting her body to face you. “That reminds me; we should probably figure out where we’re going to meet before the ceremony, because I am not sitting through that alo—what?” She frowned when you flinched, the realization setting in. “Nonono, don’t tell me you’re not going.”

“Sorry,” you offered half-heartedly. The pen markings on your desk suddenly became incredibly interesting, and you rubbed your forefinger over them in a feeble attempt to end the conversation.

As usual, Nora refused to accept defeat. “Still haven’t told your parents?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, you’ve got two weeks.” She clapped you on the back a bit too harshly, her lips pinched with an edge of impatience. “Time to put on those big-girl panties.”

She meant well–she always did, doing everything in her power to encourage you to pursue the career you wanted. But she just didn’t understand the mounting pressure to be what your family needed, or how you were constantly towing the line between selfishness and dignity. One step in the wrong direction and you would either crush your parents’ dreams or your own. And while there had to be some gray area there, it was overshadowed by the polarizing categories.

“I’ll try.” 

You won’t.

You spent the class forcing yourself to listen to the professor, jotting down notes every so often when you could remember to do so. 

Paying attention to lectures, final papers and exams, the graduation ceremony–it all seemed asinine when you considered your failure to help people on the most basic level. Like with Eddie: as hard as you tried to emphasize the mutual benefits of him working at the motel, you’d still inadvertently offended him.

When were you going to learn to stop extending help to people who weren’t asking for any? In these situations, you tossed logic aside to make room for emotion. It had been that way since you first began to understand that answers to life’s problems were seldom clear-cut. 

There was one day in particular, where rain fell in sheets and your only option was to play indoors. You were jumping rope in the lobby, excitedly counting along with each skip.  

“Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty—”

The rope smacked against your ankles, but you were too distracted to feel the sting. Your eyes were glued to a man who was stumbling towards the front desk. He wobbled in his whiskey-drenched cloud, mumbling something incoherent under his breath before collapsing to the ground in sudden hysterical sobs.

“Everything okay, sir?” Dad asked. His inconspicuous hand motioned you towards your room, but you froze in place. It wasn’t fear so much as shock that a grown-up was having a temper tantrum. 

The man didn’t answer; instead, he took a swig from the brown paper bag clutched in his hand. Amber liquid trickled out from between his lips as he cried, and he slowly pushed himself up and out the front door without acknowledging anyone else’s presence. Raindrops pelted down on his head and matted whatever hair was left on his head

“Why was he crying?” You’d asked Dad, the jump rope now all but forgotten. “And what was in the bag?”

Dad gave you a small smile and did his best to explain the adult situation to a child. Even now, you remembered him talking about how drinking alcohol can make people feel happy, sad, or angry. He omitted the fact that all three emotions could occur in the same person, in the same moment, but your eight-year-old mind wouldn’t have comprehended that anyway.

Ever inquisitive, you continued asking questions. “But if it makes him sad, why doesn’t he just stop?”

“It’s not that easy,” Dad said with a tight grimace. 

You’d considered his response for a moment, eyes lighting up when you conjured up a brilliant idea. “What if we go in his room and throw out all of his alcohol!” You tugged on Dad’s hand, expecting him to reciprocate your enthusiasm, but he’d stayed where he was and shook his head. 

“Afraid it doesn’t work that way, kiddo. He’s gotta want to stop drinking first.”

It hadn’t made sense to you then, and though you’d learned about the nuances of addiction as the years crept by, it didn’t do much to quell your frustration. Any solution being beyond your control was a piranha ripping into your ambitions with its razor-sharp teeth.

The Eddie situation gave you that same helpless feeling. If you could turn back the clock, you would have done something different. You weren’t sure exactly what would be different, but it would almost certainly be better than your spur-of-the-moment offer last Wednesday. 

But since time travel was out of the question and Eddie was no longer one of your guests, both he and his problems were out of your hands.

If only your heart could accept that.

A reel of your shortcomings played in your mind on a continuous loop; it still gnawed at you as class was dismissed, the professor calling out a reminder about final paper submission while you and Nora walked out the door. 

“Are you okay?” She frowned and put out a gentle hand to bring you to a stop. 

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

She wasn’t falling for that lame excuse, not when something heavier than sleep marred your face. “Seriously. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Do you ever feel like you’ll never actually help anyone?” 

The words came out in a rush before you could curtail them. Wincing, you allowed yourself a peek at your friend’s expression. Confusion knitted her brows together, but her arms stayed at her sides. 

“What do you mean?” Her words were soft and careful, distinctly absent of judgment or condescension. 

A monologue of response was lodged in your throat. It was a thought you held inside, silently rehearsed but never dared to speak aloud:

Are we really going to make a difference? Or enough of a difference that it even matters? Like when you see a homeless person and you give them some money, or buy them something to eat. And you feel good for a split second, because now that person isn’t going to be hungry for a little while, right? But then you pass by another homeless person. And another. And you realize that, to them, it doesn’t matter that you helped someone else. Because those other people are still hungry.

You said none of it, swallowing the words and replacing them with a, “never mind, I’m too in my own head today.”

Nora nodded, not wanting to push too hard, but you knew she was teeming with questions. She offered a small smile that told you the conversation wasn’t over, just paused temporarily. 

A nod of your own sealed the compromise. 

The rest of the afternoon played out without a hiccup. Lunch was your usual greasy sandwich from Niko with a side of his irritated banter, this time about the price of gas. 

“You girls think it won’t affect you because you take the bus,” he warned, finger wagging between you and Nora, “but just watch them hike up the fare. It’s only a matter of time. Especially with those new card things you gotta use.”

His fears were unfounded, at least for the moment, and you and Nora each dropped $1.25 into the coin slot. 

“About what you said earlier,” she started, finding space to wrap her hands on the pole, “we don’t have to talk about it—”

“Please.”

“–but I need to tell you one thing.” Her eyes held firmly onto yours. “If anyone’s gonna make a difference in this shitty world, it’s you.”

The compliment should have illuminated you from the inside out; instead, it was a firefly’s light, barely bright enough to cast a shadow with its pathetic flickering. You ached to believe her, but it was impossible to imagine that the same person who wouldn’t tell her parents a simple truth could also change the world. 

“Thanks.” One word compounded with a forced smile, and the truce snapped back in place. Weighing potential conversation topics, you settled on the most neutral–the final paper for your class–and launched yourself into it with as much enthusiasm as you could summon for the remainder of the ride home.

There was no overt sign of Eddie when your bus pulled up to the stop. Not at first. The only indication of him was a familiar mint-colored blanket tightly wrapped around a lump laying across the bench. 

It wasn’t until you stepped off of the bus and got closer that you could make out the curly brunette tendrils peeking out from the top, the blanket rising and falling with each breath he took. His face was hidden and his eyelids were screwed shut in fitful sleep, allowing you to hold onto the false hope that it wasn’t him, just someone with a similar build and hair texture. Even the frayed hems of his jeans and his scuffed sneakers sticking out from the other end of the blanket could have been a coincidence. 

But there was no denying the truth once you caught a glimpse of the guitar case being hugged to his chest.

Just keep walking. Stop trying to fix things that you didn’t break. Things that didn’t ask to be fixed.

Your conscience trumped logic once again as two fingertips gently pressed against his blanket-wrapped shoulder.

“Eddie?”

His eyes flew open in an instant, revealing the delicate red lines that scarred the whites and meandered towards his brown irises. He clenched the guitar case even tighter as he jolted upright, protecting it like it was his child, and the sudden movement sent a handful of empty beef jerky wrappers floating to the ground. 

Sunlight streamed through the glass panes, fragmented where it had been shattered by a rogue baseball or perhaps the crown of someone’s head, though you would have heard about it if it was the latter. It backlit him in an angelic glow, a halo comically contradicting his bitter expression.  

“Fuckin’ shit–don’t scare me like that!” 

The gentle, rhythmic inhales and exhales were long gone, replaced by a frantic fight-or-flight panting that flared out his nostrils. His hardened jawline softened a bit once he’d fully clawed himself out of his sleepy haze and realized that the person in front of him wasn’t a threat, just a nuisance. 

“I told you; I don’t need your charity.” His lips set into a scowl and he laid back down on the bench, tugging the blanket back up to his chin.

That’s it. Conversation over. Go home. 

“You certainly need my blanket, though.” Raising one eyebrow, you thumbed at the thin material to make your point.

Eddie only doubled down, sitting up once more to ball up the blanket and toss it in your direction. “Here ya go. It’s all yours.”

You caught it with one hand, the loose threads tickling your forearm. 

“That’s not what I meant.” A hiss of air passed through your teeth. This was the perfect opportunity to leave him behind, to go somewhere you were needed and wanted. He had been making it abundantly clear that he’d rather live outside than spend another second with you. 

And yet.

“I’m not just gonna let you sleep out here.” Tone thick with insistence, you mustered up all of your determination. The blanket was now tucked beneath your underarm and sopping up the pooling perspiration. “And it’s only a matter of time before you get mugged. With that thing,” you gesture to the instrument still in his grasp, “I’m surprised it hasn’t already happened. So you can either stay at the motel and re-wallpaper the lobby or you can kiss your precious guitar goodbye.”

Fire burned behind your eyes as you spoke, each word adding kindling. You couldn’t tell if you were doing this for his safety or your own pride, but both led to the same outcome.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, just scraped his top teeth over the dead skin on his lower lip, drawing a speck of blood that went unnoticed. You stayed silent, too, the weight of his impending decision anchoring your tongue.

Finally he nodded, slowly at first, then faster as desperation seeped in, but he remained steadfast in his refusal to meet your eyes. 

“Fine.” Eddie’s breath was shaky, teetering on the brink of tears, but none fell. “Just until I find a paying gig.” 

He grabbed the neck of his guitar with one hand and pressed on his knee with the other. Fixing his posture, he stood tall in hopes that no one walking by would equate him with the pitiful mess who had been sleeping at a bus stop in a stolen blanket.

“Okay,” you agreed with a quiet breath, a cautious smile playing on your lips as the two of you walked back to the motel. You stayed two steps in front of him, leading the way. 

He could turn heel and run. He could back out at any moment and you’d never see him again. But when you unlocked the door to room four–Eddie’s room–he was still behind you.

“I can take the blanket back,” he said, motioning to the bundle under your arm as he stepped over the threshold and into the room.

Like a phantom appendage, you’d forgotten it was there. “No. I’ll get you a fresh one.” You shook your head, finalizing the matter. 

“Okay.”

No hesitation. No argument.

Maybe there was a chance you could actually help him. Maybe you didn’t ruin everything you touched.

--

taglist:

@theintimatewriter @mandyjo8719 @storiesbyrhi @lady-munson @moonmark98 @squidscottjeans @therealbaberuthless @emxxblog @munson-mjstan @loves0phelia @kthomps914 @aysheashea @munsonsbtch @mmunson86 @b-irock @ginasellsbooks @erinekc @the-unforgivenn @dashingdeb16 @micheledawn1975 @yujyujj @eddies-acousticguitar @daisy-munson @kellsck @foreveranexpatsposts @mykuup @chatteringfox @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @sapphire4082 @katethetank @sidthedollface2 @eddies-stinky-battle-jacket @mysteris-things @mrsjellymunson @josephquinnsfreckles @the-disaster-in-waiting @eddielowe @hugdealer @rip-quizilla @munson-girl @fishwithtitz @costellation-hunter @cloudroomblog @emsgoodthinkin

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

would love to see a pt 2 where he continues to give her tiny gifts because he doesn’t know reader knows! then one day she finally gives him a gift of his own and he then gets the guts to actually ask her out on a proper date :,)

this is so cute! im so glad lots of you wanted a part 2 :) thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

secret admirer part 2

miguel o’hara x f reader

wc || 949

part 1 -> here

masterlist

It had been nearly two weeks since you found out the identity of your secret admirer, and to say you were shocked would be an understatement. You never thought Miguel would think of you in that way. Sure, he's attractive, sometimes charming and occasionally funny, but you'd never thought he'd be interested in you like you were him. 

You've always had a thing for him, but who wouldn't? Ever since you joined the Spider Society, you couldn't help but feel drawn to him. You found yourself thinking about him more often and dreaming about him almost every night. You knew it was silly as he'd never reciprocate those same feelings, so when you found out he was the one who gave you the rose, the thought of it all went to your head. 

For the first couple of days, you couldn't quite believe it. You'd find yourself thinking it must've been a mistake, a simple misunderstanding, something you were incorrectly interpreting. But all those wary thoughts were reassured when you received another gift on your desk the following day, a spider charm bracelet.

Every day since then, you found small, thoughtful presents in your office, cute little gestures; like the type of chocolate you've secretly been craving, a cup of coffee you'd desperately need when it gets to 3 pm, a fresh bouquet of flowers to brighten up your space, a new pack of pens when all your others ran out, just anything he thought you might want or need. All these tiny, considerate actions made it impossibly harder to contain your feelings towards him. He didn't know you knew, and you wanted to keep it that way, for the time being anyway. 

So for the last two weeks, you've received an abundance of gifts from your not-so-secret admirer, which has given you a little boost in confidence, like it made you want to do something bold, something in return. You want to give him something back, something that shows you care about him, something that shows how you feel. You wanted to express your repressed feelings, but though his feelings were clear through gifts, you were still uncertain of his intention. You didn't want to embarrass yourself, especially in front of Miguel. If he rejected you, you knew word would get around HQ, and there isn't a way back from that.

You didn't let those feelings deter you. You thought you'd start small, build up to something, build up to something bigger, but you didn't know what. Miguel is naturally a very closed-off man. A man with a thick exterior, rightfully so after everything, and so you were unsure what to give him, what he might like, what he might need. 

You wanted to give him something special, something thoughtful, just like all the gifts he got for you. For the moment, you settled on a generic and brief heartfelt note and a coffee, as he seemed like he needed one. 

'Thank you for all of my lovely gifts. I really appreciate all of the thought you put in. It made me feel so special

Love from your secret admirer’

You wrote the note in your best handwriting, adding hearts over your 'i's before folding it in half. You walk down to the cafeteria and order Miguel's go-to hot pick-me-up drink and a cupcake for you. You slot the note into the heat protector sleeve and pull out the corner so it can be noticed. 

Your knees were like jelly as you made your way to his office. Your nerves were unbearable, but you reassured yourself, thinking of all positive outcomes.

You flatten over your hair and straighten your clothes as you nibble your lips, adding a touch of colour to your face before knocking on his office door.

"Yeah?" he huffs in his usual way.

"Hi. Sorry is this a bad time?" you ask, cautiously making your way inside.

"Querida," (darling) he smiles, now speaking sweet and gentle. "What can I do for you?" his expression instantly softens at your presence. The moment he heard your voice, he melted inside. He'd become an uncharacteristic ball of mush around you. And it was happening right now. "You okay?" he asks, noticing the tense look on your face.

'Querida'? 'Querida'? he called you that often, but you didn't know what it meant. Why did he call you that? You shake off the feeling and walk closer to him. "Yeah—yeah. I got something for you. Thought you might need it," you smile, extending your hand. 

He softly chuckles as he strolls over to you, accidentally brushing over your fingers as he takes the cup from you. "How much?" he asks, sitting at the edge of his desk, facing you. He notices the quizzical look on your face and grins. "For the coffee, cariño. (honey) How much do I owe you?" 

"Oh—oh. No, it's free. It's on me," you smile, watching Miguel's lips sheepishly curl up. "It's a thank you,"

His head cocks to the side with intrigue. "A 'thank you'?" he repeats.

"Yeah," you smile. "Look in the sleeve," you nod towards his hand.

His eyes squint in confusion as he slides down the protector sleeve. He notices the note, and his features instantly lift, brightening almost.

He's silent for a few moments as he reads your letter. He's quiet, far too quiet, and it's making you nervous. It's only two sentences. Why is he still looking at it? Did he feel embarrassed for you?

His gaze finally meets yours, and his eyes soften, but you can still see a hint of something behind them, something uncertain, something apprehensive. 

"I want to take you out for dinner— tonight. Are you free tonight?" 

[bambisnc]

can you write something about winter????? write harever you want with gn!reader. thank you!!!

apple cider [ft. k.mj]

pairing : winter x gn!reader genre : everything i write is crack honestly. some fluff cw/tw : swearing + uneditted af xx + reader is js confused <3 wc : 0.7k?

your first time meeting kim minjeong had entailed a bruised hip, a spilled drink and a late pass.

it was almost as if the universe had had it pre-determined; made up its mind, even, for you to not like her.

... sure, it might've slightly been your fault that you were late and scrambling to find a seat in the already pretty hectic classroom that caused you to bump into said girl,.. which in turn had the equal and opposite reaction of her managing to push you and your (now bruised) hip with a loud thud! towards one of the tables.

which lead to you spilling your entire drink all~ over your shirt.

your favorite shirt.

before you even knew her name, you had decided you were not a fan. and even now, having spent considerable time in roughly the same friend group,.. you really don’t get the hype around her. 

okay, yes, you admit she’s, like, really nice and pretty and helpful and cute, but it’s whatever.

hence, obviously, the only liable course of action then was to take advantage of the fact that your teacher announced a project to be done in pairs and end up being minjeong’s partner because you don’t really like anyone else in that class which somehow ends up with you having to break her out of a literal, physical fight with some girl whose name you couldn’t even be bothered knowing.

huh? 

“let’s meet at the library.” she had suggested, “it’ll be quiet – it’d be easy for us to focus and get our work over and done with as fast as possible.” 

you had taken a little offense to that. but hey, at least you knew your (slightly) bitter feelings towards her were just as reciprocated. 

so naturally you were surprised when you walked straight into a crowd in the otherwise quiet hall, and happened upon the previously mentioned scene. 

the tense scene was captivating, to say the least. both girls involved showed no apparent signs of remorse or stopping. it even took you a while to manage to pick up your jaw off the floor and move to intervene, albeit your actions being mostly on instinct.

you’re not quite sure why you did it. maybe because your project was at stake? yeah that was probably the only reason.

… doing so was shockingly easy, however. the minute minjeong felt your touch on her, she paused, quietly. a strangely herculean feat on her part, considering how fiercely she’d been fighting merely seconds ago.

but her opponent didn’t have the same mindset. despite the comparatively much more bruised appearance (minjeong barely even had a scratch on her, really), she still found the ability to paste on a sneer and speak out. “wah~ your beloved’s here for you, huh? here to rescue you? just like you were trying to keep their name clear from the rumors-” 

at which point, the girl previously in your grasp all but leapt out to land one last (rather satisfying) punch square on her opponent’s face. 

and then, wordlessly, effortlessly, she walked out;... with you trailing behind, mind chock-full of questions but not being really sure how to express even one of them.

you could only watch as she walked all the way to the courtyard with all the casualness of the world before sitting down on one of the benches .. and soon find yourself stopping in front of her, offering her the bottle clutched in your hand all this while, surprising not only minjeong but also yourself. 

“...you’re probably tired out after all that .. exertion. plus dehydration’s never fun.” is your flimsy, offhanded excuse.

she smiles, then, and accepts it, but both you and her know that she doesn’t really believe it. 

your eyes meet hers, finally, asking if she’d mind company. she shakes her head, no, shifting to make space for you. 

the warmth of the late evening embraces both of you with an orange haze. from where you’re sitting, a disarmingly comforting scent invades your senses, your mindspace even. 

it’s somewhat fruity. and it’s so inexplicably kim minjeong that you feel like you’re almost going crazy for thinking about it like that.

when minjeong hands you back the bottle, you notice rather grimly that she’s finished almost the whole drink, “i didn’t know you liked apple cider too. it suits you, weirdly.” 

her words only barely register, but her voice manages to crash your reverie completely. 

what exactly was that bitch girl saying earlier in the library?

why are you even here with kim minjeong right now? it’s not like you owe her comfort or anything, it was her fault for getting into an unnecessary fight (over you?....) in the first place  –  god knows you don’t even like her that much.

…

wait. fuck.

notes : tysmmm for requesting lovely <3 im sorry it took like. almost exactly 6 months (june 24th.........) :( + [m.list] song rec : ill edit link in later but apple cider by queen bea

𐙚 . regulars : @brocoliisscared ⋆

[rubyin-wonderland]

Sanji's Girl

opla!Sanji x fem!reader (technically Zoro x reader too I guess?)

Summary: Zoro wishes that he had Sanji's girl

WC: 4.5k

Warnings/tags: focused on Zoro and reader but reader is Sanji's gf, flirting with others while in a relationship, not talking about feelings, fem!reader, secret crushes thought to be unrequited, love triangle/corner, emotional constipation, wrote this while yearning for someone taken, so make of that what you will, inspired by the song Jesse's girl

Note: running low on inspiration and this one's been finished and sitting in my drafts for a while, so tada

It is well known that you and Sanji are a couple. The way he clings to you whenever you're in sight, the way he lights up as you enter the room, nearly everything he does just shows how deeply in love with you he is.

Zoro is well aware of this situation. After all, you are probably his closest friend on the boat, second only to your captain.

You were exactly what he needed in terms of companionship. You liked silence, but could keep up with banter if needed. You were a strong fighter and damn good at doing stitches. The only problem he had ever had with you was the way the chef spoke to you like he would die if he forgot to compliment you once every hour. That, and the fact that you reciprocated it.

He was not exactly surprised when you announced that you had accepted one of Sanji's many, many offers to be his girlfriend, but he was not too pleased with it either.

He had never shown any distaste about the situation towards you and he made no attempts to stop bashing Sanji when he came up in conversation between the two of you, but he hated everything about your relationship.

When you announced it that day, Sanji's arm smoothly wrapped around your waist, hugging you to him, he had to admit (to himself and only himself) that he felt a hint of jealousy.

Was his companionship not enough for you? Even worse, was he so inadequate that you had to pick the damn chef who so pathetically threw himself at you whenever  you so much as breathed in the same room as him?

You stayed friends, of course, but Zoro grew even more agitated with Sanji. You had expected this shift. He had never been overly fond of Sanji, and you being his girlfriend was never going to change that, but there was something else to his behaviour. Something beyond irritation at having Sanji being a slightly bigger part of his life.

"Why do you hate Sanji so much?"

The question came up one afternoon while the two of you were lounging around on the deck. You had wondered about it for a while, but never had the guts to bring it up.

"He just pisses me off. Always has." Zoro explained simply, although you noticed the way he tensed up when the chef's name was spoken. Before this, he would usually roll his eyes or scoff at the very mention of his least favourite crewmate. Now, he just seemed angry.

He was angry. Why did you have to ruin a perfectly good conversation with the mention of the cook?

"I know that. But why? What about him pisses you off?" Zoro looked like he wanted to be anywhere else at the moment, but he didn't back down.

"He's annoying. He hates me and I hate him. That's all there is." Zoro huffs and you tilt your head to the side. "Did he do something to you?"

Now Zoro takes the time to scoff. "No. I'd never let him." "So you just naturally hate each other?" He shrugs. "I guess. We couldn't all be winners." "At least you haven't thrown him off the boat." "Yet." Zoro adds.

"Well, thank you for not throwing him overboard. Yet." You say, looking out at the water. "If he breaks up with you I will." Zoro warns. "How considerate." "No problem."

He means it. If Sanji ended up breaking your heart, Zoro did not know what he would do. His relationship with Sanji was rocky enough, he did not need the added knowledge that he had hurt you to make it worse.

That day, when you go ashore to wander through the quaint little town, arm in arm with Sanji, Zoro feels a little hole in his chest. He has always disliked Sanji, but the cook has been more intolerable for the past while.

He cannot stop thinking about why you fell for him. Was it really the never ending compliments and gift giving? He never really took you for the type to like clingy, but apparently you did. He could admit that Sanji was attractive and that probably played a role in it, but there had to be something missing. Did you really like Sanji that much? Was he really that much of a catch?

It was almost a mercy to find out that the town was experiencing issues with a group of people hiding in the forest, occasionally burning down buildings in town and stealing their goods. Zoro nearly thanked the man who told them about it, just because it got his mind off you and your lovey-dovey boyfriend.

After almost immediately witnessing the burning of a young family's home, Luffy decided that justice needed to be served. And so, the crew went into the forest.

A local woman, who was related to a couple people in the forest, had joined you. She was nice enough, and pretty as well, which was what brought Zoro back to thinking about you and Sanji.

He saw the way you looked at Sanji upon her arrival. When he complimented your guide for her work and praised her for her knowledge of the woods, you detached from his side, claiming that the path was getting smaller and you would stay behind.

For the entirety of the walk, Sanji seemed enamoured with the girl. The way he behaved was far tamer than the way he had flirted prior to your relationship, but it was still embarrassing to watch him speak to the girl whilst you stayed a few paces behind, posture straight, pretending that nothing was wrong.

The worst part was the fact that Sanji hardly seemed to notice. He was too wrapped up in his business to see the twitch in your brow every time he leaned a little too close to her. Too busy to see you avert your eyes at the sound of another compliment leaving his mouth and sticking to the girl.

You eventually walked slow enough that Zoro, who brought up the rear of the group, caught up to you.

He said nothing, sure that anything he said would be far too rude to say about the man you were dating, but he had no reason to worry, because you did not start up a conversation. You just continued walking, until the group came upon a little camp site in the woods.

The group showed up at the camp, feeling a little aggressive given the situation. However, the people seemed completely unknowing about this forest arsonist, saying that all their goods were foraged and hunted, and that they had cut off all contact with the town.

There was no altercation. In fact, they were incredibly welcoming, which was likely thanks to your guide, who found her cousins quickly enough.

You stuck with Zoro, chatting with an older man who explained to you that they had separated from the town a few years back and had since been living in the forest, in order to reunite with nature. He made no mention of the fires or the stolen goods. The man hardly seemed mad at the townspeople, and the woman seemed to get along fine with her cousins, despite the fact that they supposedly were out destroying buildings in her town.

You stayed with the group until nightfall, when suggestions for dinner were made. Sanji offered to make the meal, as a show of goodwill, but you could not help but notice the offer was made to the group but directed at the guide.

The entire time Sanji spent talking to the people, the girl stayed nearly glued to his side, and he made no show of discomfort about it.

When you noticed Zoro on the outskirts of the forest, you joined him. Again, neither of you said anything, opting to just glare at Sanji, hovering over his handiwork.

The stew he made was good, as were all of his dishes, but you found that you were not particularly hungry at the moment.

Even as the people huddled around the fire, talking happily to each other, you sat away from them, hidden behind a tent with your full bowl of stew.

Zoro had just received his bowl, giving a judging look at Sanji as he passed, and instantly searched for you. Luffy and Usopp were entertaining the people with tales of their high seas adventures and Nami stood off to the side, looking for any valuables, but they seemed to have no riches to speak of, much to her chagrin.

Zoro looked around the crowd multiple times before he began walking away from the firelight.

He found you quickly enough, huddled behind a tent, barely touched bowl of stew sitting on the ground in front of you as you stared into the forest, eyes glazed over slightly.

"What are you doing?" You jumped at his voice, relaxing after realising it was just your friend. "Nothing. Just sitting. Thinking."

You looked back into the dark of the forest, hardly even sparing a glance at your dinner.

"Why aren't you eating?" Zoro asked, sitting next to you, resting his bowl on his lap.

Your gaze remained locked on the forest. "He's been stuck to that girl all day." You said, trying to keep your voice level.

"And he's doing that damn thing he always does when there's a woman in front of him." You felt a knot in your stomach. "I thought he would stop doing it, but he just keeps finding more women to drench in compliments and attention."

Zoro was not stupid. He was sure almost everyone on the crew realized that after you and him got together, he had not changed much about the way he spoke to women he found attractive on the shore, which -knowing Sanji- was nearly every woman he saw. He had eased off of Nami after she told him to stop multiple times, but he seemed unable to help it when a woman who didn't know that he was already romantically involved entered his line of sight.

"He's an ass." Zoro huffed. You tucked your legs into your chest. "He made a stew like this when we first got together. It was different ingredients and it was on the boat, but he still made it."

"Do you want me to hit him?" Zoro asked. The thought sounded intriguing, but you put a hand out when he tried to stand. "No. I don't need you two fighting on top of this."

Zoro said nothing. He did not want to hurt you, or make the situation worse, even though there was an exaggerated hate in him towards Sanji now. Not only had the chef acted like this in front of you, but he had barely noticed that you were upset.

Slowly, he began to think of how much better he could be. He would never look at other women for even a second longer than necessary. He would pay attention to you day and night, searching for any signs of you being hurt. He would fight for you and love you far deeper than the stupid chef ever could.

And yet, he said nothing. At the end of the day, you were with Sanji. Even if Zoro hated him, he would not try stealing you. You had made your decision. He was going to live with it.

"Can I tell you something?" You asked quietly, voice barely audible. "Always."

You took a breath, and Zoro wondered what you had been hiding that was worth this level of stress.

"I don't think I would've gotten with him if I hadn't been desperate."

Zoro sat in the silence that followed. Desperate? That was the reason you were with Sanji? Desperation? Did that mean he had a chance? Before you fell into Sanji's arms?

"Desperate?" You hesitated. "Yeah. I wanted a relationship, and Sanji was there, complimenting me all the time and cooking things I liked, and begging me to give him a chance, so I did."

"So you settled for him?" You frowned at the way he said it, and shook your head. "I didn't settle. I liked him. I still do. It's just that he wasn't my first choice."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Who was your first choice?" He couldn't help but hope his name fell out of your mouth. You just stayed silent for a moment.

In all honesty, Zoro had been your first choice, but you refused to breach the boundaries of your friendship at the time. You still refused to do it.

"I didn't have a first choice." The lie came out rough, but if Zoro noticed, he did not mention it. "I just wanted it and Sanji was giving it out." You buried your head in your hands, groaning. "So I guess it shouldn't bother me that he's like this."

"You don't deserve him." Zoro did not curb his words. "You're too good." You let out a dry laugh. "Not like there's anyone else on my roster."

"There might be." You resisted the urge to blush. What did Zoro mean by that? Was he offering himself?

"Oh yeah? Who?" You hoped he said his name. You hoped and prayed with everything in you that he admitted to being your secret admirer. That he wanted to ruin your friendship and become your boyfriend.

"I don't know. You're pretty. You're nice. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your heart sank, but you did not say anything about your disappointment. "You think I'm pretty, huh?" He looked away. "Forget it." You giggled. "The future greatest swordsman in the world thinks I'm pretty. And nice!" You fanned yourself dramatically. He huffed, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Okay, take it easy. I was only saying that to make you feel better."

You scoffed. "Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night." Then a change came over you, fueled by his admission that he found you pretty. You shifted closer to him, testing the waters. "For the record, I think you're handsome. And you are the best friend I could ever ask for." He laughed it off. "Okay softie, eat your food."

You did, feeling comfortable enough to handle the cooled stew, managing to get halfway through the bowl before you gave up, returning to your thoughts of your boyfriend, clinging to the girl you had just met.

"I'm gonna go to bed." Zoro watched as you picked up the half empty bowl to return it. "So early?" You were no party machine, but you did enjoy staying up late. This was weighing on you heavily.

"Yeah, I don't know. I'm tired." It was obvious you didn't want to be a part of the fun, not if you were going to be forced to watch Sanji flirt with another woman in front of you.

"Come on, don't let that idiot ruin your night. Forget him." The start of Zoro's proposal sounded a little harsh, but it could not be helped. "Hang out with me, let him feel jealous for once."

The words were laced with the undertone of pleading for you to say yes, to spend a night with him, separate from the man who seemed to care about you until another woman showed up.

"Fine." You sighed, peeking behind the tent at the scene around the fire. "But I get to leave whenever I want. No guilt tripping."

Zoro stood, taking your bowl from you. "I don't guilt trip." You hummed in disagreement.

Zoro returned the bowls for you, so that you would not have to face Sanji, who, as expected, was still stuck to the local woman, talking about his cooking. He only hesitated at the sight of the half full bowl in Zoro's hands.

"Was it not to your taste?" Sanji asked. Zoro resisted the urge to tell him that the full bowl was not his, and instead belonged to his girlfriend whom he was currently ignoring in favour of some woman he hardly knew.

"Yeah. Tasted sour." Zoro left Sanji with the bowls, stalking off behind the tents again to retrieve you.

The two of you sat away from the main circle, meeting with a few of the hunters, who were preparing weapons for the next hunt.

You talked with them for a while, enjoying their presence. You had to admit that it was worth it to stay up and talk, even if you spent time occasionally looking over at Sanji to see if he had noticed you not paying attention to him.

One of the hunter's wives came over, sitting next to her husband with a smile. "So how long have you two been together?" She asked, looking between you and Zoro.

Immediately there was sputtering and excuses being made. "He's not- We're not- I'm actually with the cook over there."

You jabbed a finger in front of Zoro, pointing across the way at Sanji, but none of the surrounding people seemed convinced. "If you say so." The woman laughed, clearly not buying it.

It was a terrible excuse in hindsight, to deflect the accusations by pointing out the only member of your crew who was currently making eyes at another girl.

If you had covered with Luffy, Usopp or Nami, that would be plenty convincing. None of them had spent the whole night flirting up the same girl, giving her all sorts of compliments and praises, spending all their time at her side.

You went quiet afterwards, and Zoro even asked if you wanted to go to bed, but you refused. You stayed up until the fire slowly died out, and people went into their tents.

You stayed up late enough that Sanji finally paid attention to you again, coming over to say goodnight.

"Ah, my love!" He came over, wrapping you in a hug that made everyone's eyebrows jump to their hairlines. You had not been lying about the flirt being yours.

"Hey Sanji." You settled yourself, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. "How did you like your meal, darling? I know your friend here could only stomach a few bites."

You looked over at Zoro, who rolled his eyes at the comment. "It was good as always." You smiled. "I haven't tasted anything better." Sanji grinned, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, before looking up at everyone around the two of you with a smile.

"I hope my stew wasn't sour for any of you." He said kindly, shooting a brief and scathing look at Zoro.

"Of course not. It was hearty. You're a good cook. We might want to keep you here with us." One of the hunters joked.

"I'm sure Kyla would love it if you stayed." Another hunter added, sounding mildly antagonistic. The name made your blood run cold. So the girl had a name. Sanji seemed to freeze for a second. Almost as if he was about to acknowledge that he had been ignoring you all night. That he now knew that everyone could see his negligence.

"Right. Kyla." Hearing the name from his lips felt like a terrible betrayal. "She's a lovely girl, but I have my lovely girlfriend and a crew to feed. I couldn't stay, unfortunately."

The circle went silent for a small second before Sanji cleared his throat, patting your shoulder.

"I'm going to sleep now, my angel. Okay?" Sanji whispered into your ear. You nodded curtly. "Sleep well. I love you." "I love you too, my dove."

Sanji left with a generous goodbye, leaving you with the hunters. And Zoro.

Nobody said anything, a few people watched Sanji all the way into his tent.

One of the younger hunters, younger than you, at the very least, stared at the scene, slack-jawed.

"That's your boyfriend? He's been stuck to Kyla all night!" She gasped. "Do you want us to kill him?" You laughed off the offer. "No, that's alright. I think it's time for me to go to bed too." Zoro did not protest this time. "It's been so nice getting to meet you all. Tonight has been wonderful. Goodnight."

The hunters said soft goodbyes, and you could feel their eyes on you as you snuck into the tent you were sharing with Nami and a few other women. Not Kyla, thankfully.

Zoro watched as the tent flap swished shut. The hunters immediately started asking questions. They seemed to be terrible gossips, and while Zoro was more than ready to vent his frustrations, he stayed quiet. That was your business. Not theirs.

"I'm going too. Big day tomorrow." He left without fanfare, into the tent set up for the boys. Sanji was inside, and Luffy was fast asleep, sprawled across his grass mattress, snoring. Zoro's jaw clenched at the sight of Sanji, but said nothing.

Luckily, he didn't have to.

"Did she seem off to you tonight?" Sanji asked cautiously.

Zoro's blood boiled. "Who? Kyla? Or your girlfriend?"

"What's got you so moody?" Sanji asked, not expecting this sudden anger. "You spent the entire night flirting with a stranger, completely ignoring your girlfriend. Yeah she was acting off. I'm surprised you noticed her at all, given she tried to hide away from you at any point possible."

"I was being nice. You might want to try it sometime." "There's a difference between nice and eye-fucking a woman you hardly know."

"You stay out of this, if she had a problem with it, she would have said something." "She can't say anything because you won't change! You think this is the first time this has happened? You going off to flirt up some woman while I stay back with your 'love-angel-darling' and watch her cry over a man who doesn't make an effort to care for her over any other woman in the world?"

Sanji's fists clenched. "Why don't you shut up?" "Why don't you pay attention to her?" "This isn't your business!" "It is when I'm the only one who notices she's hiding behind a tent trying to escape the sight of you drooling over another woman!"

"I was not-" "You are so lucky to have her. You don't deserve her greatness in your life."

Sanji went silent at that. The thought had plagued him many a time before. "That's what I thought."

Zoro pretended to go to sleep after that, though he was too angry to actually do so.

Instead, after he was sure everyone else was asleep, he snuck outside to think.

He did not leave the safety of the clearing, wondering and thinking about you.

He wondered if you could possibly have feelings for him. If you thought he could be a better boyfriend than Sanji. If he asked you to love him, would you be willing to?

He hoped with everything in him that this was the final straw. The one thing that broke your and Sanji's relationship forever. He wanted you to stand up for yourself. He didn't want you stuck with the stupid cook out of desperation. He wanted you to find someone you truly loved, who treated you right. Maybe, hopefully, that was him, maybe it was someone you had yet to meet. Either way, he did not think it was Sanji.

As he paced, he heard movement in the woods. A collection of figures darted through the forest, for only Zoro's eyes to see. It wasn't anyone from the camp, they were all safely tucked away in their beds, getting a good night's sleep.

He finally remembered the point of this whole endeavor was to find the root of the problem from the village, back on the shore, but everything there seemed so disconnected at this point.

He logged the strange forest figures in his mind and continued to think of you. Just you. The way you smiled at his jokes. Your eyes and the way you watched him when you thought he was not looking. Your sense of humor and how quickly you were able to give him a witty comeback.

Every inch of you and your personality was intoxicating to him, and it had taken far too long for him to realize that. He wanted you to be with him. Just him.

And he hated that Sanji had what he wanted so badly.

Zoro snuck back into his tent, but there was little sleep to be had. He woke up tired, but covered it up, just in time to hear that Sanji had also volunteered to cook breakfast.

Zoro drowsily accepted what Sanji had prepared, slipping off to the hunters, hoping to find you with them as well, but you were missing.

Still asleep, he was told.

When you finally made your appearance, you sought out Sanji and led him away from the group.

The urge to listen in was too strong, and Zoro stood, moving towards the tent you and Sanji had hidden behind.

"I need you to stop flirting with other women. You can tell them they're pretty. You can compliment them. But I am tired of watching you latch onto them like a parasite."

Zoro listened for a while, as you and Sanji went back and forth, discussing boundaries and expectations. Neither of you raised your voices as there was no argument, and Zoro felt his heart drop. Of course you had fixed this. You always could.

He turned around, ready to leave, coming face to face with Luffy.

"Hey Zoro!" He grinned. "What are you doing?"

Zoro felt hollow for believing he could be with you."I was looking for you. Last night, I saw a group of people sneaking into the forest. Could be the ones we're looking for."

Zoro just wanted away. He was happy for you. You had established your boundaries and fixed your relationship. He just needed to distract himself from the heartbreak he was experiencing.

"Oh really? That's great! We should go find them right now!"

Maybe you would break up with Sanji eventually, if he fell into old habits and started ignoring you again. Maybe. Or maybe you wouldn't. That was the problem. He didn't know.

"Yeah we should."

He wanted you to come back to him. Accept his love. Forget the cook and be with him. Forever. But he knew better. You saw him as a friend. He wouldn't ruin your relationship.

"Well let's go!"

Luffy ran to fetch everyone else while Zoro sat, the feelings inside him festering, leaving a stripe of rot against his heart.

You bounded up to his side, a grin on your face. "Me and Sanji talked. He says he's gonna try being better for me."

Zoro swallowed and it felt like a rock was scraping its way down his throat. "That's good." "Yeah, it is. Thanks for dealing with me last night." "No problem."

You gave him a calm smile that made his insides swirl. You had him completely under your spell. "Good job spotting those guys last night. I didn't even see them."

He did not tell you that he saw them after everyone else went to bed, he just hoped Sanji had not told you about the fight.

When Luffy set off into the woods once more, you stuck to Sanji. Fair. You were his girlfriend. Zoro felt the ache in his chest again, but said nothing of it. He was your friend. He would always be there for you if you needed him. Even if you did not love him the same way.

[hannieehaee]

Good morning!! (It's not morning I just don't know how to start this<3)

I was wondering if I could request a scenario or reactions to the members teasing you about your crush on them but you feel like they're making fun of you so you start distancing yourself.

(Doesn't have to be all members since 13 is a lot 🥲, I'd be perfectly happy with just HH unit or seungcheol or wonwoo) thank you and hope you have a lovely day!!🫶🫶

teasing you over your crush on them - hhu

hhu, vu, pu

content: gender neutral, angst (barelyyyy), fluff, the crush is implied to be reciprocated a lil bit

wc: 819

a/n: shdjsk hehe its okay it was morning for me when u sent this 😭😭 thank u so much for requesting this was so fun to write <33 i did hhu but if u or anyone else wants to request vocal or perf unit lmk <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

he'd get so cocky the moment he realized you liked him. he wouldn't be mean about it or anything like that, but he'd start acting overly confident around you ever since he found out about your crush. he'd 100% be the type to outwardly tease you about it. he'd start calling you pet names just to get you to react or even at some point bringing it up in conversation in front of other people and embarrassing you in the process. he wouldn't do it to actually hurt or embarrass you, but he'd just feel such a huge ego boost over it he just wouldn't be able to help himself.

the moment he felt you start to pull away and maybe avoid him a lil bit, he'd instantly feel deflated at your absence. the same way your crush gave him a daily boost, your distance would make him feel down. and he'd only blame himself over it, slapping himself over how cocky he could get sometimes without realizing. he'd try to work backwards and now be the one to approach you, this time with a much more chill attitude and try to subtly let you know that your affections were appreciated (and maybe even reciprocated).

wonwoo -

he's a little more reserved, so i don't think he would straight up tease you to your face. he'd be kinda subtle about it, maybe testing the waters by acting a lil bolder around you. if he felt like he received a reaction from you, he'd maybe flirt a little bit to get you to react and maybe also sometimes hint at being aware of your crush. at some point he'd probably feel comfortable enough in your friendship to tease you about it, still doing it in a subtle way but also relishing in the way you'd blush and avoid his eyes. he'd find it very endearing, so it'd make him wanna provoke it out of you more and more.

if at some point he felt you begin to pull away from him due to feeling put on the spot or embarrassed by his teasing, he'd feel instant regret. he's such a sweet and sensitive guy, he never would've wanted to make you feel genuinely embarrassed or ashamed because of him. he'd be the type to apologize to you directly, letting you know that he appreciated you and that he'd put your feelings more into consideration from now on. this would, of course, just make your crush on him even worse.

mingyu -

he'd straight up flirt with you and fluster you 24/7 the moment he realized you liked him. he loooved the ego boost. he knew he was an attractive and charismatic guy, so he was used to people crushing on him, but for some reason he just felt like teasing you in specific. he'd directly bring it up in conversation, not caring if there were other people around to hear. he wouldn't realize you were beginning to pull away until a little while later.

the moment he realized you were beginning to distance yourself from him, he'd just be kicking himself about it, knowing he could sometimes be a little too much for some people to handle. he wouldn't have meant to make you feel bad in any way, so he'd be super apologetic about it, basically begging you to please bring back things to how they were. he did like you, so he'd miss your attention and promise to shut the fuck up from now on and just bask in any attention you gave him.

vernon -

he's very much in his own world most of the time so you'd have to be super obvious for him to know you had a crush on him. he also doesn't seem like the type to tease you unless you were like established friends at that point. in this case, he would probably just occasionally laugh at the way you acted around him. if you blushed around him, he'd just chuckle, not even trying to hide his reaction to your flustered state. he'd also be a little more physically affectionate with you, enjoying how shy you would get.

his reaction to you pulling away would be a little confusion at first. he was kind of reciprocating to you, so he'd feel a a bit odd at first, maybe a little dejected. but then he'd reason with himself that he mightve made you feel like he was making fun of you. he'd feel awkward, not knowing how to make things right. he seems like the type to think actions speak louder than words, so i think he would try to show you through his actions that he'd just wanted to reciprocate and bask in your crush on him, never having had the intention to make fun of you. he'd step out of his comfort zone to make you feel his own affections towards you.

[avocado-writing]

First, I am absolutely obsessed with your writing. I go feral every time I get a notification that you've made a post. When you pick a request of mine I've been reblogging it multiple times so it's easier for me to find it to reread. Please keep up the good work. You are appreciated. 💛

I was wondering if you could please write how the bg3 companions+ Halsin, Rolan, Dammon and Zevlor would react to finding out that a Tav/reader with considerable facial scarring has been harboring feelings for them, but has been afraid to tell them because they're afraid they will be rejected for their appearance; something that has happened many times.

I know it's a big ask, so if it's too much please just pick the characters that you want. Though, I would appreciate it if you included Rolan.

Again, love your works! Make sure to take care of yourself as you go through your backlog!

hello lovely! i've actually written something similar to this for the ladies, so I'll just be writing for the men for this one!

Astarion

When he finds out you’ve been rejected for how you look, goes on a long rant about how shallow people can be (definitely ironic). Cue the “I probably draw more looks than you” line.

This is all to show you that he doesn’t care how you look. He fell in love with your kindness first, your actions.

Absolutely reciprocates your feelings no matter what.

Drops little affections every day. “You’re perfect you know.” “My love, you are wonderful.” “You have my whole heart.”

Gale

He admires your brain and heart. To him, you are perfection. Honestly he confesses to you before you get the chance to admit your feelings.

When you tell him you feel the same but were worried due to past rejections he reassures you it doesn’t matter to him.

But if it matters to you he will ask if it’s something you’d like to try to fix or hide with magic, and will take the appropriate steps afterwards.

He loves you. He’d do anything to make you happy.

Wyll

Starts trying to woo you with romantic poetry recited or written out and left at your tent, which you assume must be for someone else - it takes his confession for you to realise he likes you.

You have a long heart-to-heart discussing your fears about how you look, where he takes the chance to confirm his feelings aren’t affected by anything, something you desperately needed to hear.

Holds you close every moment he has a chance to, giving you little kisses peppered across your face.

Halsin

Is confused why you think he’d care about your scars? They’re a sign of your life lived, the obstacles you’ve overcome.

He points at his own face. “They are a mark of pride, my heart. Nothing more.”

Spends a long time holding you, whispering praises to you, especially when you’re making love. Nothing he likes more than pressing his mouth against the shell of your ear and telling you how lovely you are, voice gravelly with desire.

Will make you feel like the most treasured thing in the world.

Rolan

The two of you are skirting around each other for a while. You too scared to tell him, him too proud to confess to you.

Perhaps one day you have a bad experience with a stranger’s reaction to your face, and he finds you crying. Asks what’s wrong. When he finds out, he’s furious.

“I can’t believe they’d care about something like that. You saved this city, they should love you like I do.”

And just like that he’s said it, and you’re overwhelmed. Leads to him choking out his feelings for you, cheeks even brighter red than usual. You tease him a bit, and kiss him. He’s never been happier.

[blues824]

Idia shroud with a s/o that is his arrange fiancée that is that descendant of Persephone 💖 is graceful and considerate. Although seemingly innocent, she is not one to be toyed with as she holds the capability to stand up for herself and do what is right as she is ruthless to those who had/ have wronged her..

But both of them love each other dearly depending on the situation both have a soft spot for each other but never play favourites ** cough** Persephone!S/O **cough** she will and has put Idia back into his place! Even if he is or isn't in his blot form! Last time she was mad mad... Idia unlocked a new fear.. his soon to be wifey once she turns 18! (She is currently 17) always a year behind him! :3

You will never know how excited I have been to do this. Female Reader who is not Yuu.

Idia Shroud

Your parents had agreed that you both would be wed once you turned 18. But you weren’t against it at all. Ever since you both were children, you both were happy that you would be married to each other. It was a young love that we only see in Disney movies nowadays… oh wait… this is Disney.

Throughout the years, you both went to the same schools. You would spend a lot of time at his family’s house so that you could learn more about his family’s business. After all, if you were to become his wife, you would be co-owner of the company alongside your future husband.

Idia was wholeheartedly in love with you. You were graceful, you were kind, it was kind of impossible for him not to fall for you. At his family’s estate, you had started a garden so that you could eat a bit cleaner. Your power over plants really fascinated your fiance. 

Ortho became a younger brother figure to you. Idia finds himself super flustered whenever he sees you two hanging out. You spend a lot of time outside due to the nature of your powers, and Ortho also loves spending time outside so it works out. It was at your pleading that your fiance spent more time outside as well. But you knew that the curse on his family prevented him from spending too much time away from blot.

Then, you both got accepted into Night Raven College, one year apart of course. The unfortunate part is that you were accepted into different dormitories. He was a part of the Ignihyde dorm when you were accepted into the Pomefiore dorm. The eldest Shroud sibling had to admit that you looked absolutely beautiful in your dorm uniform.

If you ever adjust his dorm uniform, like the jacket for example, he will get flustered to a whole other degree. The non-existent distance between you two overwhelms him a bit. Then you grab his jacket lapels and pull him into a kiss. Bro turned more red than Elmo.

He does get a bit jealous when you tell him that you have a gardening club meeting and can’t meet up with him. However, he feels crappy when he has a board game club meeting and therefore can’t meet up with you. This puts your relationship in a bit of a distant stage, but ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’.

Now, there’s the matter of his overblot. It was fiance against fiance in this situation, because you teamed up with Yuu and Grim as well as the other First Years. You were quick to shut him down though, catching him in a snapdragon and watching him struggle within. 

In the infirmary, you were waiting for him to wake up. Once he did, you almost squeezed and kissed the life out of him. But before he had the chance to reciprocate your affection, you slapped him and started yelling at him for how he almost killed himself, Ortho, and everyone involved in the battle.

Bro has never been more scared in his entire life. He could consider it a near-death experience just facing the fire of your fury. You went from kissing him from relief to scolding him out of anger that he just started tearing up and apologizing. This made you feel bad and you wrapped your arms around his torso as you laid on him.

Whenever you lay on him, but the way, you place your hand beside your head on his chest. There, he sees the engagement ring that he gave you while you were a senior in high school and he was a freshman in college. His wife-to-be was always one year behind him.

By the way, you both show obvious favoritism towards each other. Not a lot of people are allowed at the Ignihyde dorm, but you definitely are for obvious reasons. Then, in your dorm, even though you aren’t the Housewarden, Vil does allow you to stay the night over in Idia’s room because you have earned it.

[aly-writes]

wrote this to get out my feelings cause i was going through it lol</3 shoutout to yall who feel similarly, my heart aches for you :( remember that it's always good to talk about how you feel! please don't keep everything holed up inside

i love hyunsu sm :(

word count: 1,190

warnings: reader talking down on themselves, filled with angst/hurt

forlorn - cha hyunsu

Cha Hyunsu was so good to you.

His touches were gentle and carefully thought out. He knew how to read your mood and he dealt with it well, never going too far but also making sure not to leave you high and dry. Hyunsu was considerate, and damn it, you loved it.

You loved all of it.

You loved the way he touched you. Your favorites were the smallest gestures. The way he would lightly put his hand on your back when he noticed you were upset about something, and how if you truly needed it, he would hug you so tight you couldn’t breathe. But it wasn’t uncomfortable or painful, it was needed. Sometimes you needed to feel that secure—tightly held against his chest with the false certainty that everything would turn out alright and nobody could get in the way of that.

One could never forget his voice. The sweet nothings he would whisper in your ear, so hushed that even you could barely hear it. But it was so peaceful, and for a moment, it made you feel like you two were the only people left in the world. Feeling such a way was… nice. Even if it was just for a few minutes, there was a certain bliss that came with the warmth of his soul and knowing that you had it all to yourself.

He cared for you so deeply that you often found yourself questioning how his fondness for you could grow to be so strong. You would think back on the countless nights he would stay up for hours to make sure you were okay, waiting out your moods with nothing but patience and worry. He never resented you for your emotions. In fact, he embraced them entirely. Your emotions were his, as he had once said, and heaven forbid that you go to bed upset because it would only hurt the both of you.

Cha Hyunsu was too good for you.

You were selfish. God, you were so selfish. How did he do it? How did he so effortlessly invest all that he had into you and your sentiments? You had tried so hard to put the pieces together—to understand—but even with your best attempts, you couldn’t manage. Hyunsu would give up everything for you, so why was it so hard for you to do the same?

Your feelings were ugly and brutal, so harsh that sometimes you felt they would harm him. But he dealt with them so effortlessly and so graciously and so lovingly that you felt suffocated. Why did he have to be like this?

Why, why, why?

Things would be so much easier if he would just leave you alone and allow you to process things by yourself. Let you bury your feelings until they explode and you cry to yourself for hours on end questioning why and how you managed to feel so strongly with nothing to show for it. Absolutely nothing to show but an empty mind and a lonely heart, both so agonizing but so much easier to deal with than this.

This sense of guilt that you weren’t sure how to overcome. He was so perfect, so patient. And you were not.

His kisses were always tender and shy, coming from lack of experience but making sure that you knew he was trying his best for you. He always looked at you with a sense of empathy that only a few could achieve. This empathy that he gained through terrible experiences, but he used it in a useful way because, in his mind, you deserved it.

The weight of your remorse was becoming too much for you to bear. He carried your overwhelming emotions on his back while masking his own with such ease. You knew there was something wrong, so why didn’t you ask him about it, damn it?! It shouldn’t be so difficult to hide your emotions just this once, mask them like you were able to do so effortlessly only months prior so you could focus on his feelings. You wanted to show him that you would love to reciprocate his endurance and regard.

But you didn’t.

You broke and revealed your inner self once more, laying yourself bare on the table for him to see all of you. Your imperfections and those goddamn repulsive emotions that you would sacrifice everything for just to go away.

To no one’s surprise, like always, he treated you as he does every time.

“I love you,” you whispered with cracked lips. “I’m sorry.”

His eyes made contact with yours, and the slight tug of his lips caused the corners to crinkle in a way that you adored. He looked at you with so much devotion it hurt. And then he kissed you, taking your breath away with a single motion. Even though they were chapped, his lips always seemed so soft in comparison to yours. His kisses never failed to hold passion and emotion. It was like he was breathing in all the feelings he had so desperately held inside each time and it was so beautiful—fulfilling, even.

When he parted, he simply brushed a strand of hair behind your ear that had somehow gone astray. Then he looked at you once more and nearly blinded you with that same smile. “Please don’t ever apologize.”

It made your lips quiver and you couldn’t help but cover your eyes with your arm.

Love was truly a beautiful thing.

God, you thought. Why does he make you feel this way?

If you were to tell him how you truly felt, would he understand? Pouring out all of this emotion, going on about how remorseful you felt—how ineligible you were for him. Threads of complicated thoughts put into simple words falling out of your mouth, finally spilling the sentence you had been wanting to say for so long.

“Are you okay?” He reached forward to grab your elbow. Ever so gently, he tugged at it in a soft attempt to get you to remove your arm from your face. This only made your lip shudder more.

Hyunsu, you deserve so much better.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud. Your heart knew he would understand, but your head convinced you otherwise. This was an issue you had to work through by yourself, it was foolish of you to think that you could share it unwarranted.

Love was beautiful, but your character was not. Despite his past, there was a part of your boyfriend that shined so brightly. You feared that showing him too much would cancel out such a delightful feeling, so you swallowed the smallest tremble of your lip down and sat up straight. You forced yourself to look at him and mustered up the brightest smile you could.

“I am. Thank you.”

With a slide of his hand down to your own, he faintly brushed your knuckles with his thumb. You shuddered at his touch, gulping down the lump that had unfortunately balled up in your throat. It seemed the deal was sealed.

Perhaps some thoughts were better off kept to yourself.

[cursedonyx]

Sebastian Sallow ABCs

Headcanons for our favourite freckled heathen 💚

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Holy SHIT this boi is affectionate. Constant hugs, cheek kisses, hand holding, even randomly picking you up off the floor to hug you from behind or throw you over his shoulder for shits and giggles. He’s got no problem with PDA’s and sometimes considers it a bit of a challenge to see how uncomfortable he can make others with how all over you he is. He’s a bit of a show-off and wants the entire world to know you’re his, and he’s yours.

In private, he’s just as affectionate, but considerably calmer. A moment not cuddling or kissing you is a moment wasted, and he’s particularly fond of nuzzling your neck, especially if it distracts you. He needs your attention like he needs oxygen, and he can get a little suffocating at times, but do be gentle with him if you need some space. He’s a sensitive thing, and craves your approval, even if he won’t admit it.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

The best way to describe a friendship with Sebastian is chaos. He’s enthusiastic, cheerful, playful, and daft as a brush. He isn’t afraid of embarrassing himself for comedic purposes, loses games and playful bets with grace, and is freely giving of his time and energy to those he loves. He’ll do anything for you, but he does expect some level of reciprocation, and may become a little irritated if he feels he’s not getting the same level of commitment back after some time, even if he won’t ask for it. He’s used to people taking advantage of his kindness, but not his best friends.

He takes the time to learn about you, watching you carefully and asking pointed, sometimes blunt questions, though he will respect you if you decline to discuss certain topics. He’ll find out soon enough anyway, he’s remarkably easy to talk to.

If he wants something specific from you, he will badger and pester and poke until you give in or lose your temper – trying to talk him out of it rarely works, as he’s extremely good at manipulating conversations to his benefit, precisely because of how well he knows you. Don’t misunderstand, Sebastian doesn’t mean to do this maliciously – he’s very strong-willed and firmly believes what he’s doing is right, or necessary. Losing your temper with him will bring him back to earth with a bump, and he will be extremely apologetic. He means it when he's sorry.

If you need him for anything, he’ll be there for you, regardless of whether it’s venting to him about something, asking his advice, going on an adventure, or just having a little cry. He wants to be there for you, and will be, no matter what. He’ll take the fall for you if you get into trouble, but he never outright asks to be repaid for that, trusting you to help him out when he needs it.

He’s mischievous, cheeky, and a terrible influence. He’s hilarious.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

All of the cuddles, all of the time, in any and every way imaginable. If he’s not flumped on top of you, he’s pulled you onto his chest so you can flump. His absolute favourite way to cuddle is his head on your stomach or chest, and you playing with his hair. It drives him wild, and if your relationship is at that stage, it won’t remain a cuddle for long. If you need to distract him, run your fingers through his hair, and he’ll be putty in your hands.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Loves cooking. Hates cleaning. Laundry day is the WORST. Can’t bake for shit but will float around the kitchen if you do until you let him lick the bowl, then he’ll leave you alone for ten minutes. He works best if there’s some kind of routine, and you remind him (regularly) when it’s his turn to do the dishes. He’ll grumble about it, but will do a good job. He prefers it if you do household chores together, especially if he can distract you from it, or turn it into some kind of game.

He’d love to settle down with the right person, but only after a year or two of adventuring and exploring the world with you.

He’s indifferent about children. Honestly, he’d really rather not, he wants you all to himself, all the time, and he’s traumatised by his parents’ deaths and how he was treated growing up. Knowing how dangerous the world can be (and how much trouble you two can find yourselves in), he doesn’t want to risk having children, only for you, or him, to die. He knows how that feels and doesn’t want any more children to suffer it. But, if it’s what you want, he’ll eventually agree, and will be a caring father, even if he does miss the time when it was just you two.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Being the fiery guy he is, there would be an argument. You’d have to do something pretty major for him to want to leave you, and he’d be devastated. Emotional. Shouting, and probably crying with rage and pain. He’d storm out, and he wouldn’t come back. He’d be heartbroken, but his pride wouldn’t let him return. If you want a chance at having him back, you’d need to go after him, but he’s stubborn. Even if it hurts him, if you hurt him enough for him to want to leave, his decision would be final.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married? How would they propose?)

Seb tends to let his heart rule his head, and if he’s in love with you, he’s going to want that to be forever. He would want to marry you as soon as he was able to, regardless of whether or not he can afford to. Hell, he’d make you a ring of woven grass if that’s all he could manage, and to him, once it’s on your finger it would be more precious than diamond. He’d try and do the right thing, saving up and getting you a band of gold and gems, making sure he can support you, trying to plan the perfect proposal with Ominis’ help, but knowing him, “will you marry me?” will be at the forefront of his mind for months leading up to the actual event, and chances are he’ll blurt it out way ahead of time.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s a firecracker, and sometimes forgets his own strength. He will try to be gentle and is extremely good at comforting you if you need it, but he can be pretty rough physically, without meaning to. If you’re arguing, he’ll say things in the heat of the moment that he doesn’t necessarily mean, and will regret it immediately. If he’s calm, he’s the gentlest person you’ve ever met.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s pretty touch-starved, and craves hugs from those he loves. He’ll accept hugs from those he doesn’t know so well, but he’s less keen. The first time you hug him will stick out in his memory as much as your first kiss, especially if you initiate. He’ll take the chance to hug you whenever he can, and his hugs are surprisingly tender. He loves resting his head on yours, or on your shoulder, and letting his weight rest against you if you’re strong enough to hold him.

I = Intimacy (How do they like to be intimate? Any preferences/kinks?)

Sebastian can best be described as a submissive-leaning-switch. As much as he loves to please you, he can’t help but lose his mind when you take control, swiftly devolving into a begging, whimpering, desperate mess. This is a side he only shows to you. On occasion, especially if you’ve spent the day teasing him and winding him up, he will be ferocious and take what he wants the moment he’s able.

He fully understands the word ‘no,’ however, even if he’s moments away from sliding into you, he will stop, as difficult as he finds it.

He’s open to exploring with you, save for the more extreme kinks. He’s not adverse to being restrained, and he’s almost embarrassed to admit how much he loves your hand on his throat.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s a freckled little green-eyed monster, this one. He won’t ever try and stop you talking to other people, and tries to see any flirting as playful banter. But, it doesn’t take much for him to see things as going too far, and he’ll always blame the other person you’re talking to, getting cross with them and encouraging you away, complaining about them as soon as they’re out of earshot. If someone oversteps their boundaries, he would hex them without a second’s thought, or, if he actually does take a moment to think, he’ll challenge them to a duel.

If you’ve been deliberately flirting to make him jealous, consider it mission accomplished. He will either whisk you away to make out with you or sleep with you to mark his territory, or he’ll sulk, and petulantly find someone else to flirt with until you get jealous. With his charm, it’s very easy for him to do.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

If you looked up the word ‘passionate’ in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of Sebastian. He loves bringing you close to him and holding you tight, tracing his lips over yours before moving over your cheek and down your neck. A quick peck will leave him breathless and wanting more, and he’ll take it if he’s got the chance. Your lips are his favourite thing to kiss, and if you’re intimate, he’ll lose his mind if you kiss his hips.

L = Love (When do they say ‘I love you?’ How are they as a romantic partner?)

When Sebastian falls, he falls hard. You take up every spare inch of his mind, often pushing aside other matters. He always wants to know how you are, where you are, who you’re with, and wants to be with you every moment of the day. He’ll be carefree and playful, doing everything he can to make you smile. If he makes you laugh hard enough that no sounds come out, he considers it an achievement and will strut around like a proud pigeon for the rest of the day.

Passion is Sebastian’s middle name, and this extends to him as a romantic partner. He loves like a wildfire, bright and fierce, all consuming. It can be exhausting, but he does appreciate the softer moments with you, and adores laying his head in your lap, or on your chest so you can play with his hair. If he’s not said it before, he’s nervous about telling you he loves you, just in case he’s made a mistake, and he’s got it wrong, and you don’t feel the same way. But he'll say it regardless, most likely in the heat of the moment, when you’ve fought off a band of goblins, or when he climaxes with you. He makes sure to tell you at least once a day, to make sure you know, and hearing you say it to him makes him grin and giggle like a kid.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

This one is NOT a morning person. He hates waking up before eleven, and even then, it’s a struggle to get out of bed, especially if you’re with him. He wants to be snuggled up to you, halfway between sleeping and waking, forever. His favourite part of the day is when you’re sleepily nuzzling and cuddling.

If he’s forced to get up, he’s happy to just fall into his clothes and go about his day, preferring to shower and such before bed. He occasionally skips breakfast in favour of an extra half an hour in bed.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Sebastian is often up until the wee hours, reading and researching his latest passion. He appreciates the quiet and the still the night brings, and tends to be more active from 5pm onwards. If you’re a night owl too, he’ll relish being able to lean against you as he reads, and he adores it when you drift off in his arms, to the point he’ll toss his book aside and just hold you. If you’re more of a morning person, he’ll make an effort to keep to your routine, but if he's in bed before eleven he’ll be awake for hours, tossing and turning and unable to settle, unless you wear him out.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s pretty open about most things, but when it comes to his childhood, especially with Solomon, he doesn’t talk about it much. If he does, he tends to speak of it as though he’s struggling with a difficult colleague, distancing himself from the relationship without realising it.

If you’re romantically linked, he will eventually open up to you about what he suffered. It’ll take a moment or two for him to get going, lots of false starts and uncertain words, but then it’ll all come tumbling out in a rush. He’ll speak for hours without realising it about all he went through, jumping ahead in the timeline, or back, depending on how the memories hit him. He may get jumbled, telling the story of one event, then switching to another because he's just remembered it, then falling back to the original story. Such is the way with trauma.

Any advice you give him in overcoming what he endured will be met with acceptance, and a willingness to try. He may become frustrated if it doesn’t work immediately, but he’s not one to give up, and he will see results eventually, finding it easier to accept what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Hotheaded AF. Easily annoyed, easily angered, but just as quick to cool down. Will occasionally say things he regrets in the heat of the moment if he’s rowing with someone he loves, and against an enemy, he can be very cool-headed, but his anger will still take over and he can be quite violent. He gets frustrated easily, especially if he’s trying to do something important, and the results just aren’t showing, but he won’t give up. If anything, the frustration just makes him more determined until his goal consumes him. Best to head him off early or distract him.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Sebastian has a very good memory for detail, considering the amount of time he spends researching. He’ll often surprise you by bringing up some tiny thing you told him years ago, something you may have even forgotten yourself. He can be distractible and distant if he’s caught up in something, but you’re important enough to him for him to set whatever he’s involved with aside, and he’ll remember what you need him to.

That said, if he needs to remember something he really, really doesn’t want to do (like going to visit your horrible great aunt felicia or going to the dentist) he’ll quite conveniently ‘forget’ and plan something else.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

He couldn’t pick if you asked him. Everything about you is precious to him. But, if push came to shove, he’d remember all the times you stood by him, stuck your neck out for him and supported him when no one else did. The moment he realised he was in love with you will stand out in his mind until his last day.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Sebastian is wildly protective of you, and will often try to get in front of you if you’re battling poachers or other enemies, even if you’re a more powerful fighter. His protectiveness can border on possessiveness, and he’ll get angry if you’re hurt, throwing out ideas of revenge that won’t really go anywhere. He’d wrap you up in cotton wool if he could, but at the same time, he adores the danger the pair of you get into, especially as it’s quite the aphrodisiac for him once you’re both victorious and safe.

If you get protective of him, it’s a little confusing for him at first, but he quickly adapts to loving how much you care. He’s rarely had that before, and it means the world to him that you’d stand up for him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Sebastian puts a surprising amount of effort into his dates and gifts, trying to make each experience unique and special. That said, once he finds a formula that works, he tends to stick with it, varying it up a little here and there. When it comes to you, no effort is too much, but he never goes overboard, understanding that too much can be off-putting.

He’ll always see something through to the end, regardless of the task, unless it’s something he truly wants to avoid doing, and then you’ll have a very difficult job in finding him until he thinks the ‘danger’ has passed.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Personal space? What’s that? Sebastian’s visceral need to be with you at all times can be suffocating, and you get the feeling he’d follow you to the loo if you let him. He understands the need for personal space, and alone time, and he’ll respect it if you put your foot down, but he needs reassurance that you’re still his, he’s still yours, and you’re not asking to be apart from him because you’re growing tired of him.

He’s very nosy, and if he thinks you’re hiding something, he’ll pester and pry for an answer, especially if he’s worried about you. It all comes from a place of love, but his insecurities, growing up as a twin and his love of knowledge makes him want to know everything.

Jealousy: Sebastian’s jealousy can be overbearing at times, and he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. A gentle, but firm conversation is needed to make sure he learns to respect your boundaries. Credit to him, once he knows what your boundaries are, he will respect them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s cute and he knows it. Sebastian’ll make an effort with his appearance, of course, but only to the point to make sure his hair is brushed, his teeth are clean and his shirt’s not inside out. He’s got a kind of casual grace, and with his frame, everything seems to suit him. He does care what you think of him, though, and if you tell him something looks good on him, you can bet your bottom dollar he’ll be wearing whatever it is until it’s worn to threads. Compliments on his appearance mean a lot more coming from you.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

His world would end without you. If he lost you, for whatever reason, he would spend the rest of his life trying to find a way to bring you back, even if you die. And if anyone could succeed in this regard, it would be Sebastian.

X = Xtra (Random headcanons for them)

He won’t admit it, but he’d do anything for a bar of Honeydukes’ Best Chocolate. Think Scooby Doo and Scooby Snacks – it’s that level of ‘I want that in my tummy.’

Despite everything he’s been through, he’s resolutely cheerful, to the point it’s almost unhealthy. If he trusts you enough to cry in front of you, that’s a sign you’ve found a friend or lover for life – he doesn’t even cry in front of Ominis.

His bond with Anne mimics the usual twintuition – they have a way of knowing what the other is thinking, feeling or doing, even if they’re apart, which is partly why he was so desperate to cure her, he could literally feel the pain she was experiencing; knowing it was so much worse for her than the small twinges he'd occasionally get made him almost mad with fear for her.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

You’d need Anne’s approval – if Sebastian’s twin doesn’t like you, that’s going to be a problem. He trusts her opinion. If you don’t like her, he’ll lose interest faster than if you’d shat directly on the dining room table.

Sebastian’s always up for a joke and banter, but he doesn’t like cruel humour that’s designed to upset someone else to make others laugh. Bullies make him angry, and he doesn’t want anything to do with a bully.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sebastian’s sleep is troubled, especially after Solomon, and considering that it's pretty much established that he didn't have his own bed in the cottage (though this has enabled him to fall asleep literally anywhere). His childhood is full of trauma, losing his parents, the abuse he suffered at Solomon’s hands, Anne’s curse… as he tends to push things down and try and be cheerful, this comes out in nightmares. He occasionally wakes up screaming, even though he tries to pretend it doesn’t happen. He sleeps better when you’re holding him, and if he manages to process his trauma, he’ll sleep through the night. He falls asleep very easily, but he’s a light sleeper and will wake up regularly.

[bicraigmanning]

one of my favorite scenes/details that really informs the dynamic between the saltzman twins in season one is the scene where josie is helping lizzie get ready for their big sweet sixteen party. it's such an innocuous scene (this is a normal thing people who care about each other sometimes do for one another!) until lizzie turns and complains that josie isn't even dressed yet, sounding almost angry and despairing that she doesn't want to be late for her own party, essentially implying she doesn't want to have to wait for josie.

and while i agree with penelope (not on her general execution throughout most of the season, lmao, but in this instance) that it sucks that josie is not dressed/about to be late for the party because she was helping lizzie, that's not even... really the issue? like, it's an issue, but the thing i always find more concerning is lizzie's reaction to it. she wants josie to help her and yet she also treats at as a failing on josie's part for not being ready, as though she either can't see or doesn't care that that happened specifically because josie was helping her, and instead of offering to help Josie in turn so that it will go more quickly, she leaves for the party without her. to be clear: i am not saying this makes her evil or that i don't get it (i hate being late). josie told her she would catch up with her there and didn't seem overtly bothered that lizzie was leaving without her. but it's just one of those moments that really conveys how much, at this point in time, lizzie expects from josie without much reciprocity or consideration.

and it really adds a certain sting to that moment when we learn that josie has been taken and buried alive and mg, hope, and penelope are all out frantically searcing for her, and the show then cuts to the scene where rafael rejects lizzie and lizzie looking around frantically as she cries while they dance, wondering where her sister is.

here's the thing: it's obviously not lizzie's fault josie got buried alive. it's also her not her fault that she's not out there helping her, because she doesn't know. but josie had been missing from the party long enough that penelope was asking multiple people if they'd seen her. and as much as my heart goes out for lizzie in this scene, it's also really significant that the first time lizzie thinks to wonder where josie is because she needs something from her.

none of this is intended as lizzie hate or slander for the record; i love both saltzman twins and think they have an endlessly complicated relationship that i don't think can be done justice by deciding one of them is the 'villain' in it. they are both flawed and also i love them both (and they love each other) very much. at the same time, i do think that (possibly due to some narrative bias admittedly leaning toward josie at the time of airing), people tend to unfairly assume that lizzie was never actually out of line or taking for granted/treating josie unfairly and that's like... demonstrably false.

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; mystic flour cookie

requested by ; anonymous (22/05/24)

fandom(s) ; cookie run

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | specific

character(s) ; mystic flour cookie

outline ; “Mystic Flour Cookie dating headcanons?”

note ; likely very shaky characterisation here as writing for a character whose defining trait is their apathy isn’t the easiest… may come back to this and revise it in the future ^^

warning(s) ; mostly fluff!

prior to her transformation into the beast of apathy and the total disenchantment towards the world around her that preceded it, mystic flour cookie was someone who approached her relationship with you (and your slow courtship before that) with enough patience and reverence to make even the most saintly of mortals blush

she was considerate — keeping you in mind as she has her most loyal servants renovate and add to her realm in order to better suit you and your specific needs, more generally this just means adding a place for you to make into your home as mystic flour cookie mainly resides in either her temple or her place of meditation, but on a more personal level that can mean making the pathways easier to navigate for you if you struggle with your mobility as one example

she was patient — happy to advance your relationship at whatever pace you’re comfortable with, she’s waited lifetimes to find you and as an ancient she has nothing but time to give to you so she’ll wait for as long as she needs to in order to have you by her side for the rest of your lives

she was determined — having the soul jam of resolution makes this much a guarantee, but more specifically she was determined to make you as much her equal in the eyes of her followers and in the eyes of fate as she possibly can no matter the cost (or, in other words, she started searching for the various immortals in order to find a way to have your life span lengthened to match her own)

she was generous — you may have never asked much of her in the way of her abilities, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t use her powers to make you smile or just to make your life easier (or that she wouldn’t think to bring you gifts whenever she went travelling across the continents with her fellow ancients)

she was affectionate — never in a way that was over the top or particularly performative, but she revelled in the little things (kisses on the cheek or knuckles, interlocking arms when walking around the realm, you resting your head on her shoulder, styling each other’s hair in the mornings, you falling asleep in her arms or on her lap, etc.)

she was everything you could have possibly wanted in a partner and so so much more — and then the apathy took hold and the woman you’d come to love and adore effectively ceased to exist

the beast of apathy was not your beloved, but there was just enough of your darling mystic flour cookie still lingering in that shell for you to feel obligated to remain by her side — and the beast, your beast, though still apathetic to all things in this world, seemed to appreciate the complacency and acceptance underpinning your choice enough to keep you around

or perhaps there was still some love for you that remained buried under all of the coldness and isolation and apathy, just enough for her to want to keep you close and to maintain that air of normalcy from the times before

(after all, you were the only one who didn’t become corrupted by your want and greed and resolution… you just stayed by her side because you loved her — the sole exception, the only mortal that ever mattered)

she’s not affectionate in her own right anymore, but she doesn’t make any attempts to push you away or scold you if you ever try and initiate anything with her — sometimes she’ll be more active in reciprocating your efforts, but mostly she’ll just watch you with that same old look in her eye as you play with her hair or the hem of her robes, or she may curtly thank you for putting her hair back into its usual style if she’s feeling kinder than usual

she’s not as outwardly considerate or empathetic as she once was when it comes to your well-being, or anyone else’s for that matter, but you’ll still notice that the areas where you spend most of your time around her realm are the safest and the best taken care of — she never brings this fact up to you, and if you try to ask her about it she’ll brush you off with some excuse or another, but it’s clear enough through her actions that there’s still a part of her left that cares about you no matter how deeply entrenched in her apathy she’s become

she’s still as resolute and patient as ever (or, at least she’s still very patient with you), but now instead of putting that energy towards progressing your relationship and making you feel like her true partner, she makes use of those traits to try and get you to accept her doctrine and stand by her side to help her spread it — again, she’s spent countless millennia locked up in her cocoon waiting to spread her sickness and reunite with you so she has no qualms with waiting for however long it may take you to accept her truth and join her in her apathy

(honestly it’s more demeaning and frustrating than anything else… repeatedly being pulled into existence at her command only to be asked the same questions over and over again, treated like you can’t make your own decisions, permitted a few blissful hours of existence and consciousness under her watchful eye in the ivory pagoda, and then having existence and personhood ripped away from you once again as you’re forced to return to flour once you’ve served your perceived purpose — doing that over and over again until you finally break and give her the answer she wants to hear, knowing that she won’t give up no matter whether it takes weeks or months or millennia for you to give her the ‘right’ answer)

after becoming a beast, she’s much more protective and possessive over your person that she ever was before, but given how isolated her home is it’s rare that anyone actually gets the chance to see this side of mystic flour cookie — in fact, others are more likely to pass her more possessive actions (e.g. blocking off your previous home from outsiders) as being due to her complete detachment from the material world and her encouragement for others to follow in her path, and for her protective behaviours (e.g. only bringing you to her when she’s completely alone and immediately locking you away or dissolving you back to the void when an intruder appears) to go completely unnoticed by anyone because of how isolated she keeps herself

she would never admit to this, but the only true reason why she infected you with the white sickness first is because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and that was the only way she knew she’d be able to keep you around for longer than your natural, mortal, lifespan — this may very well be the only truly strong desire of hers that survived her transformation into the beast of apathy, but thankfully for her it’s an idea that only really resurfaces when she brings you back to life for those brief stints, so she doesn’t need to dwell on her one remaining attachment for too long

she never really used pet names and she certainly won’t start now that she’s been consumed by her apathy, but unlike how she addressed most of her followers and those that oppose her, she does make a point of using your name when she speaks to you — never derogatorily, never demeaningly, never in any tone other than her usual speaking voice, but she does use it as a sign of respect and as a small way to show that she does still see you as her equal even in her corrupted state