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eirian-houpe · 3 years ago

Text

Nobody Knew

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Mad Hatter | Jefferson & Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold

Characters: Belle (Once Upon a Time), Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Mad Hatter | Jefferson, Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Emma Swan

Additional Tags: Angst, Friendship, First Time, Smut, True Love, Cursed Storybrooke (Once Upon a Time)

Summary: Nobody knew the true cost of living with two lives in your head in a world where everyone else has forgotten one of them. Nobody except Jefferson, and when he'd finally reached the end of his rope and exacted his revenge on Regina for being the one to hurt so many people just to get her own happy ending, what could he do that give his all - give everything to reunite his two closest friends, and return to them the gift of true love?

Read on AO3

Nobody Knew

“Because for the last 28 years, I've been stuck in this house, day after day, always the same, until one night, you, in your little yellow Bug, roll into town, and the clock ticks and things start to change.”

Jefferson - Hat Trick

Nobody knew how much it hurt.

At first even just opening a window was enough to send him staggering away from the outside air, blinded by the whiteout of the worst migraine anyone could possibly have imagined. When that became almost bearable, he tried the front door.

His hands had trembled as he reached for the door handle, his palm tingled with a warning ache as he pressed it down and pulled the door toward him. He could have been caught in a dragon’s breath for the immediacy of the new agony. His blood burned in his veins and his head pounded. He fell back with a cry as the world faded into cinders and everything he’d glimpsed through the windows and the promise of freedom swirled away like ashes in the wind.

When he regained consciousness, he fought the agony to close the door, and lean against it, breathing hard. He didn’t try again until another moon had swollen to full and waned again in the frame of his closed bedroom window.

A day passed. A week. Another month… always the same, time after time, year upon year.

He tried alcohol. It only made him melancholy at best, bitter at worst and he would rail, scream and break things, usually himself. He took to tea and wept through the many memories of tea parties past - imaginary games with the daughter he loved more than life itself. He only saw her through the lens of the telescope trained on her window and watched in anguish at the smiles she gave to another man.

He tried to stay away, but the pain of not seeing Grace at all was worse than the immolation of trying the outside, so he endured, and watched and wept, and self medicated against the splinters chipping from his heart day by day.

What father wouldn’t?

His helplessness made him angry. He wasn’t like this. He’d always managed so much before; found ways out of the most terrible of prisons - and into several, more than a few times - he could do this. In spite of the fact that he knew it was futile, because he could feel no magic in the strange land, he began to make portal hats to take him and Grace back to the Enchanted Forest, where they could live out their lives together, happily gathering mushrooms in the woods… if only he could get it to work.

But in just the same way the hands of the clock on the mantelpiece never moved, whenever he set a hat on the floor and gave it a flick of his wrist, it barely wobbled out of a feeble spin.

Undeterred, he tried again and again, ignoring all the lies of the fake life in his head that would have him settle into the living death that was Storybrooke. It became a routine. Sleep, eat, drink tea, see Grace, weep. Try the door, live the searing agony. Make a hat. Fail to make it work. Use the telescope again and punish himself with an open window, until—

The clock ticked.

When next he opened the door the searing inferno flowing through his veins became an almost bearable liquid fire. It still hurt worse than any pain he could imagine, but he could walk, explore… watch his Grace from the schoolyard fence until the sheriff moved him on with threats of arrest, and he laughed until he couldn’t breathe and the laughter became fresh tears that he let fall into the ocean down by the docks.

He decided to map it all - his prison. Their curse.

Jefferson watched and waited.

”Oh, you no longer have anything I want, dearie, but I will give you a piece of advice, free of charge: I'd plan a trip of your own. Because once people waken up, and remember who you are—and what you did to them… they are going to be looking for blood.”

Mister Gold - An Apple As Red As Blood

Gold returned to his shop that morning after a walk around Storybrooke, terrorizing the neighborhoods and picking up the bi-weekly rent, with an air of smug satisfaction. Change was coming. He could feel it in the air.

It didn’t hurt that he’d just sent Regina packing in an equally satisfying way, when she came to complain about her trees. Yes, the curse was definitely weakening and soon, very soon, he would be able to leave Storybrooke, and head out in search of Baelfire. He was almost trembling with the thought of finding his boy.

Cane in hand he came from behind the counter, to cross to another part of the store, keeping himself busy to get through the day, impatient for that time after so long. Half way across the retail space, his step faltered as a thought came to him, unbidden.

She would come to him for help - The Savior - the product of True Love that he had worked so hard, and suffered so much to bring into being. He shook his head. The way he was thinking of it, a person could be excused for believing that he had some part in her conception. The thought made him shudder. No… the self-righteous Snow White was definitely not his type.

However, it provided him with someone else to go and retrieve what he needed. It was just… wait? Where did that come from? Foresight in a land without magic? Well now - that changed many things and yet…

As with anywhere, all magic comes with a price. Simply tragic that young Henry would be the one that would have to pay.

”…you don't have it in you. If you did, you would have done it twenty-eight years ago when I brought you here. Because you know if I'm dead, you'll never get back to your daughter.”

Regina - An Apple As Red As Blood

He sat on the floor staring, unwavering at the hat. The hat. His hat.

Whether by some oversight, or that she just didn’t care any more, Regina hadn’t taken it back. Of course it was useless to him so long as there was no magic, as useless as the many hats upstairs in his millinery room, but still…

He laughed bitterly and leaned back against the couch, before reaching out to idly toss the useless object into the air and from hand to hand, twirling it with practiced aplomb.

She was going to fuck him over - he knew that. Once she had her own way and was secure knowing that no one was going to come between her and Henry, she would forget all about the promise she had made - a new life, a new start here with Grace - and keep him dangling on a string, or maybe she’d think of some other cruel and unusual punishment. She had a knack for that after all.

Maybe… if she found a way to bring back magic, she’d just go ahead and rip out his heart, force him to do unspeakable things that would haunt him for the rest of his life - not that he didn’t have a million other things to regret, and as much guilt as would drown the average man.

But you’re not an average man, are you Jefferson? You’re one who sees; one who knows. You’re one who can defy time - you’ve just proven that.

Of course it was the hat and not Jefferson that allowed that, and he knew it, but he would wager a good deal of tea that no one… well, nobody knew.

He was even willing to bet - though with lesser odds - that Regina was so distracted by her own little scheme for Emma’s demise that it would take her a pretty while to put the pieces together herself. Most would.

In fact, he could think of only one person who wouldn’t be so beguiled by the reward that he’d miss the unexpected use to which the hat could be put.

Rumplestiltskin.

Thoughts of his old friend brought back a rush of memories, not all of them the kind he wanted, and in one, and in the knowledge of the Hat’s ability to bend time, he was tempted almost beyond his power to resist.

What if I went back? I could change things, right? I could bring her back and everything would be all right. Grace would have a mother and–

He balled both hands into fists and brought them down heavily on his thighs, letting the pain of that jolt him from that dangerous river of thought. Who’s to know what the consequences of such a reckless act would be; who’s to know the price of that kind of magic… and since it was with magic that he would be seeking to bring Priscilla back, would it even work? It couldn’t.

”Dead is dead.”

Hadn’t Rumplestiltskin said that - that not even magic could give the dead back their lives? Why was he even thinking about this?

“Insane,” he gave voice to the pain at the thought and tossed The Hat across the room, where it landed, nothing but an inanimate object, even as it wobbled to a stop. “Totally insane!” he spat. Instead of sitting there feeling sorry for himself he should be out there - enduring the pain - doing something about the mess he and everyone else in Storybrooke was in. There had to be something he could do.

His thoughts snapped back to the absolute certainty he had that Regina was going to double-cross him - and what he could do about it; what he should do about it. It was as obvious as the scar on his neck - and he fingered the cravat he wore beneath his chin - that thwarting Regina was the way to go - but how? What could he do that would bring her down that wouldn’t result in harm to Grace, or tear them even further apart?

The solution, really, was obvious. He should simply walk into town, find Emma, and stop her from eating whatever it was that Regina planned on making with the apple he had purloined for her. It was, however, unsatisfying.

He was not a man given to vengeance, but even such a placid soul could be pushed beyond all reason and there he stood, on that threshold. He wanted Regina punished, and while he was sure that the threat to her continued relationship with Henry if Emma was still around would hurt Regina, it wasn’t enough, especially not as it meant that Emma would lose the son she had come to care about. Regina would, once again separate a parent from their child. Hypocrisy from someone that claimed that family was everything.

It wasn’t enough.

It was all he had, unless…

Prizing himself up from the floor, he shook his head. It would have to be enough. He didn’t have it in him for… anything else. He grabbed his coat. He had to get to the school to watch for Grace. Then he would go to Emma.

“No. Not useless. She's a valuable chess piece.”

Regina - Queen of Hearts

The room was cold. What was worse, it was a cold that was somehow familiar when she knew it shouldn’t be. Mind you, given that she couldn’t remember even who she was, she wasn’t sure she should trust herself to know if something should, or shouldn’t be familiar.

But she was, she was sure of it. It was as though she had one brief moment of clarity, when she remembered something from before, and then… it was gone.

Gone, and that clarity became her madness.

It haunted her, in her dreams, when she was able to sleep. Memories of a life before that she did not understand, nor remember. A time when she was held in captivity - like now - at the hands, or at least the behest of the Queen. This made no sense to her because North America has no queen. As if that were not confusing enough, before that the images of a life before that in which she knew adventure, and knew love.

That, perhaps, was the most unsettling of all, knowing a love that on waking, was gone, always gone. It all disappeared when she woke, never to return, each lost moment falling like the petals from a fading rose.

They kept her medicated, though why, when she could remember nothing of who she was, let alone anything else, she could not say. It left her full of fear… not of the unknown, but because of what she knew when she slept and was unconfounded by medication.

It begged the question: of what was she so afraid?

She felt used, but for what - waking, she could not say. Sleeping - though her doctors would insist, ‘while she was under the sway of her madness’ she remembered someone she had grown to care for, but who had held her captive, and it was in an attempt to undermine him that she had been taken. Who was this man to her…? Were they friends? She believed so, though he never held the feeling that he would never have named it that. All she knew. All she remembered in that split second, that fading moment, was that she loved him and it was when she was returning to him that she was imprisoned, but was it in some other place that she was locked, or there in the asylum?

And she feared… she feared that she would be used some other way.

This teeter totter between knowing and ignorance, oblivious and fearful was her reality; a reality that lasted 28 years. She had no notion of who she was. Her cursed persona was to be an empty shell.

Alone and powerless…

Powerless as the drugs took hold.

”I hear things. Jefferson's the name, and I'm a man who travels and sees much, and I know the man who can do what you want.”

Jefferson - The Doctor

He was… so close and yet he might as well have been a million miles away and the chain link fence between him and the school yard a great chasm. Even looking at her through the hexagonal gaps was infinitely better than the small lens of the telescope, and the view was much easier on the heart.

To view her happiness when it was shared with her school friends was a balm to his soul, much preferable to the immolation of seeing her happy with another man in the place of her father - in his stead, and yet…

Today he found no comfort in it. His heart was heavy with shoulds and coulds. His mind was pricked by memories of when he behaved as a lesser man, one whose actions had brought all of this torment on himself.

But no! He could no longer shoulder the guilt of that action, for it was so long ago, and retribution had been more than given. He had more than suffered punishment for his part in Rumplestiltskin’s plan. Trapped in wonderland, separated from Grace… hell, even separated from his head. Absently he brought his hand to his throat, adjusting the scarf that he wore.

It didn’t have to be this way. He was not powerless to change things. He’d seen that. He knew that; had experienced it. Mary Margaret had kicked him from the window, he’d fallen with the hat that Emma had made still on his head, if flew free, spinning in the fall and a portal had opened, and he had fallen into it.

That was as far as it had gone. No other doors in the Hall save the one back to Storybrooke. It seemed that Emma’s hat was tied to the one place, the one time. Its point of origin.

Jefferson shifted, the pain in his joints, his muscles, the burning in his blood becoming harder to ignore, and tears gathered in his eyes as he turned his back to lean against the fence. The hiss of the school bus brakes rang loud in his ears, the children’s chatter made his head swim, pushed against the springy surface at his back and staggered away, managing a few steps, and only a few before he fell to his knees, leaning on one hand and stifling the sobs that overtook him.

Without warning anger swept away the helplessness and despair. He was not helpless. He could change this. All he had to do was get up. Walk. Find Emma and stop her from eating whatever it was that Regina had made from the apple. Cursed apple… how could he had done such a thing?

No, stop! Jefferson just stop. he told himself. You don’t have to feel this, this isn’t for you.

Fueled by his anger, before it could escape him, he pushed up from the ground, and after staggering a few more steps, caught his balance, and set off toward where he knew the sheriff’s station to be. He started walking, but as he drew nearer, began to jog, and then - as the siren screamed and the lights threw red and blue tantrums all across the buildings - to sprint, past the sheriff station now, to Mary Margaret’s loft.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he chanted with every step, every heavy pounding footfall on the pavement. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”

A whirlwind of movement spun him around. EMTs, a gurney… Emma - off balance he reached out and caught her arm. She looked his way for barely a moment then shook her head and pulled from his gentle grasp, drawing his gaze to the sandwich bag swinging in her hand, and the contents… a pastry.

They were loading Henry into the back of the ambulance when he looked that way. It was no effort to put the pieces together. The apple with the missing bite, snow white’s curse - who didn’t know about that - and the mayor’s penchant for apple turnovers? His fault. All his fault.

“No!” he growled aloud. This was her doing. Her choice, and now she’d failed to get her way she would be sure to deny him that which she promised, so now it was his job to protect his own, to protect himself… Grace.

There had to be another way. Regina had mocked him, outright told him he didn’t have retaliation in him for the way she had treated him and continued to treat him. With his breath coming in hot, short gasps as panic began to grip his lungs and he raised his eyes to stare along the street to the one place he’d never been, even the thought of it brought too much heartache for him to bear.

Mister Gold: Pawnshop and Antiquities Dealer.

Rumplestiltskin.

The sudden pounding in his ears drowned out the sound of the ambulance as it hurried its charges toward the hospital. Rumplestiltskin would help. He held no love for Regina, and well he might not for what she had done to him… to his Belle.

Did he even know?

”What are you doing?”

Jefferson almost jumped - almost, as Regina stalked into her office and nearly caught him reading the medical file she somehow had on her desk.

“Leaving you a note,” he lied, fixing a fox-like grin on his face and hoping it was convincing enough to obfuscate his real intent. To add to the realism - and realizing he was badly out of practice - he snatched up a scrap of paper and a pen from the desktop, using the movement to cover his closing the file, and waved it in her direction. “You sent for me. You weren’t here, and…” he shrugged. “Didn’t want to intrude.”

Evidently she fell for it.

“Well aren’t you the obedient one,” she mocked, reaching him and plucking the empty sheet of paper and pen from his hand, “but I’m here now, so we can conduct our business in person.”

He palmed the hospital band, then slipped his hands into the pocket of his long coat with another, almost bored shrug. “What do you want, Regina. I think I’ve more than earned my freedom from your beck and call,” he protested.

“You’ve earned it when I say you have,” she snapped. “Or did you perhaps want me to make certain… arrangements permanent?”

He advanced on her a step. “Soon, you’ll threaten me once too often,” he growled. “You think I don’t know any number of your dirty little secrets.”

She reached up and grabbed the knot of his cravat, pulling his face down to her level as she hissed, “And you’ll keep each and every one of them…” she let him go then, but only to run the tip of a fingernail along the line of his revealed scar. “…to yourself.”

He slipped his hand into his pocket and closed his fingers around the narrow plastic band. He didn’t need to draw it forth to know what it said - he’d memorized every letter, every number, every bit of his understanding of its meaning.

Belle French. Amnesiac. Danger to self and others.

All lies.

He gripped it now like a talisman and set his feet in motion again. One step, then another and another until his hand was upon the cold metal of the door handle, the door was opening at his behest, and the bell was sounding overhead then—

“May I help you?”

Gold turned, as unlike to Rumplestiltskin as was Jefferson to his own Enchanted Forest self and yet, unmistakably the Dark One as - even without magic - the energies, the touch of magic radiated from him in waves… and when those waves touched the Hatter…

Blood burned in Jefferson’s veins once again, as when first he tried to leave his mansion, and his head pounded worse than the heartbeat of any migraine. He fell back with a cry but the world, that fell into cinders, swirled away like ashes in the wind, only this time it would not loose his hold on him.

“Jefferson,” Gold breathed in urgent horror, “my boy… what—”

“Don’t…!” he managed to gasp. “She did this… to keep us…! Stay away…!”

He knew without a doubt that this was something Regina had done to him, another facet of his own personal curse to keep him from connecting with Rumplestiltskin. She feared them together, enough to all but immolate him from the inside out.

“Stay away…!” He pushed himself to his feet, backed away blindly, “I can’t… be here,” before turning, wrenching open the door and fleeing just as quickly as his feet had brought him to Gold’s shop.

But as much as it was agony - it showed him what he might do… and when he stopped running, when he dragged himself out of the mud into which he’d fallen, soiling his overcoat beyond redemption, he knew what he must do.

If she didn’t give him what he wanted, he would set in motion a course that would - that must - lead to her demise.

“But... town? You trust me to come back?”

“Oh, no. I expect I'll never see you again.”

Belle and Rumplestiltskin - Skin Deep

There was so much that could have been said - should have been said, but when it came to it, when he’d promised he would not harm Regina for what she’d done to Belle, with magic in Storybrooke now, all that remained, all that he wanted was Belle.

His Belle.

Slowly, feeling guilty for what he’d done - an uncomfortable feeling that he wasn’t used to - he pulled away from Belle as she told him, with clear love and forgiveness in her eyes, that his behavior was why she had to stay, and set down the cup, then turned back to her, to cup her cheek in his hand.

His emotions, the guilt and the love and everything behind it - behind everything - was real.

“Come on, Sweetheart,” he said softly, barely above a whisper. “Let’s get you home.” She nodded, and he took her hand, locking up the shop as they went, and led her to the car, and then navigated the wreckage in the streets, to head toward the salmon colored Victorian out in the suburbs.

In spite of all his questions, and knowing she must have many of her own, they journeyed in silence, but he felt her eyes on him. What was she thinking? Was she taking in his appearance and comparing him to before, when they lived at the Dark Castle. A lifetime ago, and yet only yesterday.

“Where do you live?” she asked at last.

“We,” he corrected. “It’s not far.”

“But what about all this,” she gestured through the window to the debris that littered even the outskirts of the town.

“It will get cleaned up,” he said. “Come morning, with the sun, Storybrooke will right itself and find its feet again, you’ll see.”

“And you?” she asked.

“Me?” he asked, glancing at her in confusion.

“Yes. What will you do?”

He thought about it for a moment. Now that magic was here, now there was nothing stopping him from finding Baelfire, what could he do but start on the journey to do just that, but then… what of Belle? To leave her alone again after they’d only just been reunited…? How could he ever do that? What if he lost her again, and how even did she find him?

Who was it, he wondered, that told her to come to him.

“Same as always, I suppose,” he answered at last and with a shrug. “I have my shop, people come to me when they need something… I’m landlord to most of them so—”

“That’s not what I mean,” Belle said softly as he pulled the car up onto the driveway.

“Then what do you mean, sweetheart?” he asked, even though he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

“It’s pink!” she exclaimed, staring at the house as the car’s headlights illuminated it. He chuckled.

“And what, a man can’t… associate with the softer colors, is that it?” he teased.

“No, no of course not,” she opened the door and climbed out, turning to get a better view, he supposed. He climbed out and came around to join her, “I just never would have imagined to find you… Rumplestiltskin… living in a pink house.”

He leaned closer then and in a low voice murmured, “I think you’ll find a lot of unexpected things about me.”

He felt her shiver, and slipped his arm around her shoulders, relieved when she leaned in to him.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside,” he suggested, “Maybe draw you a bath - let you relax, find comfort.”

“After all this time, I’d like that,” she said, and took his offered hand as he led her toward the house.

The water around her was warm, and pleasantly scented with the smell of roses, and the gentle caress of soft bubbles. She closed her eyes and breathed in the steam and it felt as if the weariness of almost three decades crept from the dark places inside of her where it had dwelt, weighing her down.

Slowly, some of the thoughts she’d had on her ‘long walk’ came back to her. The way she’d reasoned with herself, absolved herself of any blame for what might happen to Regina when the truth was… she was as angry as Rumple at the Queen - for keeping her apart from Rumplestiltskin for all those years, for lying to Rumple just to cause him extra pain, and for everything she’d done to the people of the Enchanted Forest, though she wanted to, she could not shake the resentment and hurt she felt. Was that why she’d framed her demand to Rumplestiltskin not to kill Regina in the way she had, in the words she had spoken. Did she want him to find a loophole, knowing that he was master of them?

A knock at the bathroom door interrupted her thoughts.

“Belle?”

At the sound of Rumple’s voice she felt a blush rising in her cheeks that had nothing to do with the temperature of the water.

“I’m all right,” she answered softly. “Almost done.”

“There’s no rush,” he told her equally as quietly. “I just wanted to know if you needed anything.”

Her blush deepened, and when she opened her mouth to answer, to tell him she was fine, no sound came forth until she cleared her throat and tried again.

“Well, I made us cocoa,” he answered. “Come down when you’re ready.”

“Why… don’t you come up,” she said, managing a moment of courage enough to hint at what she wanted.

“Belle?” His voice was part question, part warning, part… his own desire, she hoped.

“Please,” she whispered, though she doubted he’d hear.

Rumple turned and leaned against the bathroom door, the softness of her plea like tinder catching to light an inferno in his blood. He clenched his hands to fists at his side, letting the tension in that bring him back to a modicum of control.

It had been years, so many… since thought of such delights even crossed his mind, and then he’d had no choice but to deny himself - to deny her.

Now there was no reason.

The Curse Regina had cast changed the nature of his own, and even with the full force of their true love, he would not lose the power of the Dark One - the magic he needed to find Baelfire would remain his.

His heart fluttered against his breast. Could it be possible for him to have everything he wanted - reconciliation with his son and his one true love?

He pushed away from the door then, cursing himself for his continued selfishness. This wasn’t about what he wanted. This moment was hers. This moment was for Belle.

Tear blind and exhausted, Jefferson stumbled up the steps of the mansion. Out of habit he counted…

One chance to end this nightmare he was living, yet it seemed it was not to be. Regina was still alive, the thing that came for her banished through his, now destroyed, hat.

Two lives in his head, conflicting realities enough to drive him mad. The consolation perhaps that now the curse was broken, everyone would know what it is to feel ‘wrong’ all the time.

Three wonderful, love-filled but lost years, four times betrayed, and five times a fool. It was probably many more, but he stopped counting at five, lest he cast himself into a depression so deep he’d never get out again.

Six people his whole life who meant anything to him, anything at all, no matter how long or short a time he’d known them, and seven wrong turns that had taken them all from him, one way or another.

Eight times charmed, though he didn’t deserve any of the chances fate had given to him, not at all; to live when others much more deserving had been snatched by death, to grace the world no more, and now, nine steps pronounced his doom. The curse was broken, but he was still no nearer to Grace than he had been the whole of the last twenty-eight years.

His heart broke into uncountable pieces.

After the humid warmth of the bathroom, Belle shivered as she stepped out onto the landing, and tugged the robe around her over the short negligee she wore. It was only a few steps across the hallway, but it felt like the journey of several lifetimes.

Rumple had told her to come down, but she could hear movement in the room across from her, and colored to think that he had heard her plea, and was waiting for her. Hadn’t they both waited enough?

He looked up as she opened the door, and offered a smile, which, shyly, she returned. The rich scent of chocolate reached her, and she breathed in appreciatively.

“You… came up,” she said finally.

“How could I deny you?” he asked, his voice as warm and rich as the scent of the cocoa.

“Rumple,” she breathed his name, and as he patted the side of the bed in invitation, moved to join him where he sat. A knot of wood popped in the fire she hadn’t noticed was lit in the hearth, and Belle started, then turning her head, said, “It’s beautiful.”

“I just want you to be comfortable,” he said.

She reached for his hand, and he took it, his fingertips playing with hers.

“Different,” she murmured, and he chuckled.

“Would you prefer the scales, I can—”

“No,” she said quickly, and then more calmly continued, “No, it’s only strange seeing your hands, like this, no claws, tan flesh but… normal.”

“Hmmm,” he teased, “an ‘ordinary man’.”

“Oh, Rumple… I…”

“Sweetheart, I’m joking,” he said, and drew her closer to settle in his arms. “I brought the cocoa.”

She nodded, and then turning a little to draw her legs up onto the bed, chuckled.

“Do you often wear pinstriped pajamas?”

Rumple chuckled, but sobered quickly and said, “I wasn’t sure you’d want—”

She stopped the words with the tender touch of her fingers to his lips, then murmured, “Kiss me.”

The memory of the feeling of her lips against his when first she’d kissed him at the Dark Castle took Rumple full force, surprising him after so long, to be so fresh as if only moments old. Their softness, their hesitancy, the hope he could feel in them then.

He wanted that for them now, but insecurity gripped him even more tightly than the memory. How could he give her that again? How could he ever—?

“Rumple…”

She called his name, pulling him back from the brink of the chasm of self doubt, and he smiled then, tenderly cupped her cheeks in the palms of his hands as if cradling the most precious thing in the world, and at last, lowered his lips to hers; took hers in the caress they should have shared before, but hadn’t yet, not even when she first awoke in the woodland near the well.

She melted against him, her lips softening, parting, matching him in the tenderness of their kiss. Her whole body became a sigh - of contentment and of love.

He felt the tingle of it, the flow of magic from it and for a moment almost pulled away in panic, but it was different now. It strengthened him, and was not disempowering, so not until neither of them could draw breath did he break the kiss, and chuckling again, a pure and happy sound this time, laid his forehead to hers.

“You’re overdressed,” she teased.

“Indeed I am,” he agreed. “Why don’t you… enjoy some cocoa while I get myself ready for bed. Then I’ll join you.”

She nodded, without words, but was slow to release him as he began to move away.

She watched as Rumple rose from the bed, and headed for the door. Only when the door closed behind him did she reach for the cup of cocoa, and take a sip, hiding in the warmth and chocolate from her mounting nerves. It wasn’t that she was afraid of Rumple, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. It was more a case of having wanted something for so long - as long as she could remember, which granted wasn’t very long, at least in this world - that she was afraid to make a mess of it.

She looked up as the opening door signaled Rumple’s return. Gone was the suit, and in its place a pair of cotton pajama pants and a silk robe, both in a shade of midnight blue. He smiled, and she couldn’t help but smile back, and she held out her hand and he came to her.

The tears didn’t start until they were both settled, snuggled together, she with her head on his shoulder, and she couldn’t have said which of them began it. The apologies, the lamentation of so much lost time, voicing fears and desires.

“Belle,” Rumple murmured through his tears, “I want to show you everything you desire, but… this is a step best not taken on impulse, nor from any sense of…” he trailed off as she looked up at him, movement dislodging tears that bathed her cheeks in the freshness and cleansing of salt. “It’s not something you can take back.”

“I don’t want to take it back,” she answered, wiping away his own tear-falls, and then she sat up away from him, and moved to straddle his thighs. “I want this, Rumplestiltskin. I want you, and for you to show me how all this works; how it feels.”

She took away the cup he had picked up and set it down, before cupping his cheeks between her hands. Then she leaned in to kiss him.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed, when their lips parted again, and looking down at her, he stroked his fingers through her hair that had fanned out across the pillow, as somehow, in the course of their passionate kiss he had lain her down and half covered her.

Nor did she object, instead she arched and moved against the hardness she could feel pressed to her hip. She was rewarded with a deep and throaty moan that rumbled from Rumple’s chest and set a strong ache between her thighs.

“My love,” she whispered. “My Rumple.”

“Yes,” he answered, and dipped his head to kiss her again, his fingers teasing her skin just beneath the shoulder of her robe, where the thin strap of the negligee had shifted beneath the warmth of it. She shivered at the delicious sensations that flushed through her at the touch and again even more when his kisses left her lips and descended over her jaw to bathe her neck in the heat of his want of her, and the subtle way his fingers bared her skin to his kisses as they moved.

She was complicit in that. Shrugging her shoulder out from the robe, and then wrapping her bared arm around his shoulders, teasing the skin at the back of his neck, and his back beneath his robe, tugging as he pulled, pushing as he pushed.

Soon the gravity of their foreplay evaporated like bubbles popping in the bright sun as they both became tangled in the fabric of their robes, and she giggled, and he laughed, and they both fell against the coverlet as they untied each other, breathless with mingled desire and mirth; pure joy.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice hitched again as he spoke the words, and she turned to look at him, propping herself up on her elbow and reaching out to trace the shape of his shoulder then his chest. His muscles danced beneath her touch.

“No more tears,” she murmured. “We’ve both shed enough, I think.”

“Oh, Belle,” he breathed, and in spite of her words to him, felt her own eyes fill with unshed tears at the love she saw in his. Then slowly, deliberately, she reached for the shoulder straps of her negligee, and eased them from her shoulders, a moment later, sliding them from her arms, and shimmying from the garment until it pooled at her waist. Rumplestiltskin’s audible gasp drew a blush to her cheeks deeper than the wine red depths of any rose.

“You’ll be cold,” he murmured, but she shook her head.

“You’ll keep me warm,” she said, and drew him closer again, to cover her; to feel the heat of his skin on hers, and to move against him, losing herself to the shift and play of his body, soft and hard against hers with the flex of his muscles and his full arousal coming to life in want of her.

What remained of their clothing became a simple casualty of desire, and their hesitancy became lost to their passions in flood, and when at last they joined as one and the bittersweet threshold between rising and become was passed, she felt the world made new within her as without.

Her heart unfurled, as sting of it retreated and she arched to claim him again, wanting to feel him deeper still. No wise woman’s words could ever have prepared her for the sheer bliss of feeling full of him, and knowing that feeling would be matched in him as she surrounded him, hot and wet and tightly clasped, like the most precious of jewels held within the perfect mount.

They moved as one, they breathed as one, they sighed, and moaned and cried out as one breath and one voice. One heartbeat, together in a world too fractured to understand the healing power of their shared one true love.

And they fell together into the downy hollow of their ecstasy, breathless with exertion, and gloriously spent; wrapped up together in a tangle of arms and legs, and whispered words of joy.

Rumplestiltskin lay awake, cradling Belle in his arms as she slept. He had never felt so whole as when he burst apart with his beloved; never felt so filled with light as when his touches filled her eyes with the clear darkness of desire; never felt so worthy as when she called his name in bliss. Now, as she slept, her hear pillowed on his shoulder, and her arm across his chest, he had never felt more vulnerable and yet protective.

As night marched on, the questions tumbled around in his mind but chief among them - how had she—?

“Rumple?”

Her gentle voice interrupted his thought just as the light of dawn began to creep over the window ledge.

“I was just wondering,” he turned his head enough that he could kiss her brow, “how did you find me?”

“Jefferson,” she answered softly, and suddenly several puzzle pieces fell into place at once. “He let me out and told me to come and find you.”

“Jefferson,” he sighed, “my old friend, but… however did he know to find you?”

She shrugged against him, and then said, “Why don’t we go and ask him? He said he needed my help to do something he couldn’t.”

Rumple frowned, and a deeper worry than before, than when the Hatter had fled from his shop, clearly in pain, and told him to stay away. What if he was already too late to help?

…The only magic strong enough to transcend realms and break any curse.

Rumplestiltskin - A Land Without Magic

Rumplestiltskin pulled the Cadillac to a quiet halt at the foot of the short stair that led up to the porch. As he would have expected, there was not a light on in the mansion, but it did nothing to dispel the feeling of utter calamity that had him in its demon grip.

He glanced at Belle, and she returned his expression of deep concern and growing dread, and in fact it was she that climbed from the car first, and almost ran up the stairs to the door, which as he followed, Rumplestiltskin could see was ajar.

“Jefferson?” Belle called quietly, even as Rumplestiltskin set his palm against the wood of the door and pushed it open all the way, though he did not yet step inside.

For a moment there was no sound from within as well as no light, but then just as Rumplestiltskin saw Belle draw breath to call out again, the sound of a soft sob, followed by a low moan reached his ears.

Belle, ever pragmatic, did call out then, in a firm and businesslike manner; taking charge when he was consumed by fear for his dear friend. A man who was almost like a son, or brother to him.

“Jefferson, it’s Belle… and Rumple. We’re coming in.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” the answer came as a cascade of breathless, sobbed words. “You can’t be here. You mustn’t be here. This is meant to be.”

Ignoring him completely, Rumple all but ran toward the sound of his voice, everything in him draining away in alarm as he reached the sitting room, and saw Jefferson’s boot sticking out beside the piano.

“My boy!” he breathed, horror stealing his true voice and making the word like a terrible secret between them as he practically fell to his knees at the other man’s side. “What happened here? Tell me…?”

Jefferson’s trembling distress increased the nearer he got until he was shaking as in the grip of some terrible fever.

“…deserve… this,” the Hatter forced the words past his clenched teeth. “After… all… I did.” He continued to craft the words of his agony, and gripped Rumplestiltskin by the wrist as Rumple tried to back away, somehow knowing that his proximity to his friend was making his pain so much worse. “T… to… Prisc…illa, To… Grace…”

“Nothing of that was your fault,” Rumple tried to reassure him, but doubted his words were reaching Jefferson, as far gone as the other man was.

He watched helpless as Belle moved around him to Jefferson’s other side, and reached to brush the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.

“What did you do, Jefferson,” she asked softly, and Rumple saw her looking around, searching for something - anything - that could have caused this. “Did you take—?”

A rasping chuckle answered her question before she could finish it. “Nothing,” Jefferson gasped. “…my… curse…”

“But the curse is broken, My boy,” Rumple insisted. “Miss Swan broke it when she cured her son.”

“Not… for m—” Jefferson’s words were cut in half by a sudden spasm of greater trembling, and unable to bear to watch him suffering, Rumplestiltskin raised a hand to summon his magic and charge it to heal whatever poison still ailed his beloved friend.

When the magic touched the Hatter the detriment only increased tenfold, and Jefferson’s cry - a physical manifestation of despair - chilled even the Dark One’s blood.

“Stop, Rumple, stop,” Belle said, strangely calm, and she pushed away Rumple’s hand from where it hovered over Jefferson’s chest. “You can’t help him that way.”

“No… help,” Jefferson calmed enough to speak once more in the broken voice of one lost. “My… curse… only…” he turned his gaze between Rumplestiltskin, then Belle, then back to Rumplestiltskin again before he continued, “…only promise… promise you’ll… you’ll look after… Grace.”

“Jefferson,” Rumplestiltskin looked down through tear filled eyes at the man who all but writhed in inexplicable pain on the floor beside him. If what Belle said was true, there was no saving him, not with his will, not with Dark Magic, not even used to heal. “Jefferson, no. You’ll look after Grace.”

“No… I…” He gasped, and reached out to grasp Rumplestiltskin by the lapels in a sudden, unexpected burst of strength, kindled from nowhere Rumple could explain. Panic, adrenaline… both…?

“Promise,” Jefferson insisted. “I can’t… I can’t breathe!”

Rumplestiltskin felt Belle’s soft touch on his shoulder, and she nodded to him, then to Jefferson, and understanding, Rumple gathered Jefferson into his arms. “I’ve got you, my boy,” he said. “It’s all right. I’ve got you… and I promise…”

Jefferson’s hold on his jacket eased…

“I promise,” he whispered again.

…and then released as it seemed that Jefferson was slipping away trembling uncontrollably in his embrace.

“Belle,” Rumplestiltskin appealed to her, to her calm, to everything that she was, and he wasn’t in that moment, as if he thought she had the answers. “What do I do?”

“Give him… Peace, Rumple,” she answered softly, and with a gentle smile on her face, and nothing but empathy and love in her eyes.

“Oh, Jefferson,” Rumple whispered, looking from Belle to his friend. “My boy. My friend.”

And unable to bear the Hatter’s suffering any more, he dipped his head to bestow upon the struggling man the Kiss of Peace. His lips brushed first one of Jefferson’s cheeks, and then the other, unable to speak or to see the other man any longer for the tears that choked him and blinded his eyes.

And then he felt it. The rush of a fresh breeze, a pulse of light magic that burst into the room, and Jefferson’s trembling ceased.

He felt as though a sweet and cooling breeze had chased, and tamed the fire that immolated him from within. Then he felt the warmth of arms around him, and the touch of a cool hand on the back of his neck - fingers in his hair.

No more pain, no more suffering. Doubt a plenty, but wasn’t that his middle name?

Jefferson opened his eyes to find himself cradled against Rumplestiltskin’s suited chest, between the Dark One and the woman he loved, and for once - just for once - he kept the facetious comment that was on the tip of his tongue to himself.

#rumbelle #angst #friendship #smut #first time #cursed storybrooke #true love #nobody knew #i will always write jefferson

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queenie-lexieee · 4 years ago

Text

[[ CC Character Profile ]]

Fandom:

Once Upon A Time

Full name:

Belle Gold (French)

Nickname(s):

•Lucy

Sex/Pronouns:

Female

Birthdate:

December 27th

Age:

20-Old Age

(Season 1-7)

Skills/Powers:

•Book Knowledge

•Leadership

•Patiences

•Problem Solving

•Languages

•Map Knowledge

•A bit of fighting

•Manners of a princess

[[ About ]]

Personality:

•Caring

•Loving

•Forgiving

•Booksmart

•Bookworm

•Clever

•Loving

•Adventurous

•Hardworking

•Helpful

•Herioc

•Honest

•Humble

•Knowledge

•Loyal

Likes:

•Books

•Liberties

•Roses

•Traveling The World

•Yellow

•Fighting for what’s true

•Adventures

•Tea

•Helping people

Dislikes:

•Animals

•Jerks

•Being lied to

•Being tricked

•Being hurt

•Being mistreated

•Villains

•Being gullible

•Bullies

Occupation: Pawnbroker, Librarian, Maid

Fears:

Losing love ones

Losing her son and husband

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Species:

Human

Faceclaim: Emilie de Ravin

[[ Relations ]]

Farther: Sir Maurice/Moe French

Mother: Colette

Spouse: Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold

Child: Gideon

Stepchildren: Baelfire/Neal Cassidy (deceased)

Grandchildren: Henry Mills (step-grandson)

Lucy Vidrio (step-great-granddaughter)

Significant Other(s):

Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold

[[ Biography ]]

After the casting of the Dark Curse, Belle becomes a patient in the town hospital's psychiatric ward. Due to remembering his life from the Enchanted Forest, Mr. Gold has memories of how he lost Belle presumably at the hands of her father. One day, he takes away the delivery truck of Belle's father, Moe French, who is late on his rent payments. Later, Mr. Gold's house is ransacked and several items, including his only memento of Belle—a chipped cup—goes missing. All of the belongings except for the cup are returned. Suspecting Moe has it, Mr. Gold decides to take things into his own hands and tries to beat the truth out of the man while expressing a great deal of rage in blaming him for Belle's death. Instead, it is revealed Regina stole the cup, and uses it to goad Mr. Gold into telling her his real name. Satisfied, Regina gives the cup back and leaves to pay a visit to Belle at the hospital while Mr. Gold remains unaware his lost love is alive. ("Skin Deep")

Jefferson is jilted by Regina on her promise that if he helped her retrieve something from the Enchanted Forest to get rid of Emma, and then she'd bring his daughter back to him. To spite her, he decides to free the imprisoned girl in the psychiatric ward and bring her to Mr. Gold, who he knows won't be pleased at what Regina has done. He disguises himself as a hospital staff member and sneaks down to free Belle after drugging the nurse. He urges Belle to seek out Mr. Gold, and gives her instructions to tell him specifically that Regina locked her up. She goes into the pawn shop and informs Mr. Gold what happened. He is shocked to see her alive, and though Belle doesn't remember him, he promises to protect her. Whilst leading her out to the woods towards the wishing well, the Dark Curse breaks. Belle regains her Enchanted Forest memories, and reaffirms her love for Mr. Gold, who she still affectionately calls Rumplestiltskin. From the wishing well, she watches as Mr. Gold mixes the true love potion with the well water, which transforms it into a purple smoke and brings magic back to Storybrooke.

Following the aftermath of the restoration of magic in Storybrooke, Belle and Mr. Gold speak beside the wishing well. She tells him of her imprisonment and asks if the release of magic was to seek revenge for her capture. He states it wasn't his intention, but will use it as an advantage. She makes him promise not to use the magic and seek revenge against Regina, which he agrees to. However, Mr. Gold finds a way to harm his nemesis without himself being the actual person to do so by releasing a Wraith to suck out Regina's soul. Upset at his broken oath, she leaves the pawnshop in tears of anger and frustration. After the Wraith disappears through a vortex, leaving Regina unscathed, Belle returns and states she will remain with Mr. Gold because he is still a "monster". ("Broken")

On night, Belle has a nightmare in which Mr. Gold attacks Leroy, who has come looking for his axe. To her horror, he takes on his old appearance as the Dark One and proceeds to strangle Leroy to death. She wakes up in a cold sweat and goes looking for Mr. Gold; finding him in the basement secretly spinning gold thread and working on magic. The next day, she attempts to ask him about what he was doing in the prior night. When he tries to brush it off, she calls him a coward for not letting her into his life. Then, without informing Mr. Gold, Belle leaves for the diner, where Ruby helps her figure out a possible job at the currently closed down library as a librarian. She goes to peek at the inside of the building from the window, but is distracted and then kidnapped by William Smee, who brings her to Moe French. At first, Belle is overjoyed to see her father again, but balks when he insists that she leave Mr. Gold for good. Unable to convince her, Moe orders Smee to take his daughter outside the town line so that she will lose her memory. Belle is handcuffed to a mining cart underground as it sets off on the tracks. In an attempt to free herself, she grabs a key for the cuffs, but drops it. Belle is saved by Mr. Gold's magic, but makes it clear she doesn't want him in her life, since he is unable to be truthful with her, and is equally unhappy with Moe for making choices for her. While spending time getting acquainted with food at the diner, Ruby gives her a small box someone left on the front desk. The box contains is a key, which Belle uses to open the library. Inside the building, Mr. Gold admits bringing magic to Storybrooke because he doesn't know how to live without magic. However, the price of bringing magic to town is not being able to leave without losing his Enchanted Forest memories, and therefore, Mr. Gold is unable to search for his son, who was also his motivation for making the Dark Curse. He acknowledges experimenting with magic to figure out a way to break the price of magic. After telling her all this, he turns to leave, but Belle wants to start over with Mr. Gold, and invites him for a hamburger at Granny's. ("The Crocodile")

At the diner, Belle celebrates with the miners after the discovery of diamonds in the Storybrooke Mines, which can be made into fairy dust and rescue Emma and Mary Margaret from the Enchanted Forest. While drinking, she sees Ruby being asked out by Billy. Noting her friend's obvious discomfort, she comes over to excuse Ruby for the night with the reason being they are having a girls' night out. Billy takes the rejection in stride and leaves. Belle remarks that he seems nice, though Ruby is distracted and heads to the back room of the diner. The next morning, Billy turns up dead, and Ruby is accused of murder, since she shape shifted into a wolf the night before, but can't remember anything. David and Granny believe in her innocence, as does Belle, who allows them to hide Ruby in the library from the angry townspeople. Ruby is chained up as a safety precaution, but Belle releases her when she asks for a restroom break. Instead, she is cuffed while Ruby, believing the townspeople's hatred towards her is justified, goes to face the mob. Much later, David presumably unchains Belle after discovering Albert is the actual culprit in Billy's death and Ruby's name is cleared. ("Child of the Moon")

Belle and Mr. Gold finally go on a date at Granny's with a serving of hamburgers. They are interrupted by the presence of Regina, who needs Mr. Gold's help in dealing with their nemesis, Cora. Belle asks who Cora is, though Mr. Gold replies she will never have to meet her. Mr. Gold argues he has defeated Cora before, but Regina reminds him that was during a time he "didn't have anything to lose". From this, she indirectly references that Belle will be in danger if Cora reaches her, which makes the librarian nervous. ("Into the Deep")

In the pawnshop, Belle is getting ready for a picnic lunch with Mr. Gold when Emma, David and Mary Margaret arrive. They accuse Mr. Gold of causing Archie's death, to which Belle reacts in disbelief. Mr. Gold proves his innocence by giving Emma a dream catcher to look into the memories of Archie's dog Pongo, who witnessed his owner's death. She sees a recollection of Regina killing Archie in cold blood, though no one is aware it is actually Cora masquerading as the madam mayor. ("The Cricket Game")

She, along with the other townspeople, attend Archie's funeral where Mary Margaret gives a eulogy in remembrance of him. Afterwards, Belle meets up with Mr. Gold, who happily informs her about his success in making a potion to cross the border, which will work if poured on his son's shawl. She wishes to go with him, but he regretfully says the potion is only enough for one person. Later in the day, Belle goes to sort books in preparation for a future library opening. Once inside, she recognizes a stranger as Hook and runs away, but he blocks her. Belle pins him on the floor by toppling a bookshelf and scurries into the elevator.

She calls Mr. Gold and tries to give more details about Hook, but he can't hear her through the bad reception. She stays in the elevator until Mr. Gold comes to the library. Reunited, they hurry back to the pawnshop as Mr. Gold hesitantly tells her how Hook stole his wife, Milah, from him years ago. When she asks what happened to his wife, Mr. Gold says that she died. He discovers the shawl is gone and furiously plans to go after Hook alone. He hands her a loaded gun to defend herself with. She returns to the library and finds a knot Hook left behind. From browsing through a book about knots, she determines it comes from a ship. At the dock, she sees a bird standing on something invisible. Belle uses a pinch of dust to outline the steps onto a ship, and follows them up through a barrier onto the deck. She ventures below deck to free a trapped Archie and urges him to go back to town, which he does. Belle looks for the shawl, and distractedly sets down the gun. Hook makes himself known to her with the shawl in hand. They both lunge for the gun, but he grabs it first and aims it at her forehead. He reveals Mr. Gold killed Milah by ripping out heart and crushing it. Even knowing this, Belle still believes Mr. Gold has changed for the better. She hits him with a rowing paddle and runs away to above deck with the shawl, but Hook gets there first. When Mr. Gold shows up to beat Hook bloody, Belle pleads for him to stop as proof he has changed from the past. They leave together, and later that night, she watches as he uses the potion and shawl to cross the border while his memory stays intact. From the opposite side of the town line, Belle promises to wait for him. Suddenly, a bullet ricochets into her shoulder from behind. She falls over the border into Mr. Gold's arms and loses her memories as Hook is revealed to be the shooter. In an amnesiac state, Belle doesn't recognize her own name when Mr. Gold calls her, and witnesses him conjuring a fireball just as a car crashes into town. ("The Outsider")

Frantic and confused, she doesn't understand what is going on. Mr. Gold is worried about Belle's injuries, so he magically heals them, which only frightens her. Emma arrives in her sheriff car with David and Mary Margaret. While an ambulance is called, Mary Margaret soothes a panicked Belle, and later hands her over to a nurse at the hospital. Taken in as a patient, Belle tries to get some rest, but is startled awake by Mr. Gold kissing her. She screams in horror until he leaves. However, Mr. Gold returns later with a chipped cup, which he says is enchanted with magic, and insists that she try looking at it so her memories might come back. She becomes afraid and unsure when he mentions magic. She gives the cup back, though he keeps pushing it back at her. Frustrated, she angrily throws the cup at the wall as it shatters into pieces. She demands for him to leave, which he finally does in tears. ("In the Name of the Brother")

During Belle's stay at the hospital, Ruby tries to cheer her up with some familiar things, such as her favorite book. Belle suspiciously questions her about the accident and the man who used magic to heal her. Worried about exposing magic, Ruby ignores the inquiry and tries to persuade Belle that the tranquilizers must be giving her hallucinations. Upset no one believes her, Belle acts out violently and has to be sedated by the nurse. Later that night, Greg, who was the driver in car crash, visits Belle in her room. She thinks he doesn't believe her about the fireball just like everyone else, though Greg admits he saw it too. ("Tiny")

While still resting up in her hospital room, Belle meets Regina. Uneasy at the woman's presence, she asks if they were friends. Regina mentions they knew each other, and asks Belle about Mr. Gold and the dagger. She has no memories of anything, so Regina knocks the girl unconscious and uses magic to levitate the items in Belle's bag into the air to find clues on the dagger's location. ("Manhattan")

From her cellphone, she receives a call from Mr. Gold. Apologetically, Belle tries to tell Mr. Gold she doesn't remember him, which he knows, but wanted to give his last regards to her as he is dying. He describes the person he knew in her; a beautiful woman who loved an ugly man, and further explains that she creates goodness in those who don't have any. Belle begins to tear up at his words, but he hangs up before she can respond. ("The Miller's Daughter")

When Mr. Gold pays her a visit, Belle is happy and relieved to see he survived and didn't die. She is more trustworthy of him since their phone conversation and believes that he wants to help her regain memories. She tries to thank him for healing her, but he avoids the topic of magic, which disappoints her. While Mr. Gold is getting her discharged from the hospital, Belle packs up her belongings. Regina comes in to introduce herself as the mayor.

When she hears from Belle that Mr. Gold is going to help restore her memories, Regina is displeased. Thinking quickly, Regina bends down to pick up an item, and instead conjures an enchantment on little red card of the town bar, The Rabbit Hole. Regina asks if it belongs to Belle. Though Belle says no, Regina suggests she should take a better look at it. Belle glances down at the card and is surprised at the flood of memories, exclaiming she remembers who she is. In fact, Regina has given her false memories to replace the ones she lost previously. Belle assumes the name Lacey and leaves the hospital to hit up the bar by playing pool and chatting with Mr. Clark. Mr. Gold approaches her, and she remembers him as the man who visited her at the hospital. A man, Keith, tries to flirt with her, but she shoots him down. Mr. Gold asks Lacey out on a date at Granny's, which she accepts out of pity for him. Despite turning down Keith earlier, she makes plans to meet with him behind the diner.

During the date, Lacey is impressed by Mr. Gold's approachable personality since the stories about him say otherwise. She states that it's important to truly know someone by seeing what's in a person's heart. He accidentally spills wine on her dress, so she goes to clean up, but actually goes to make out with Keith outside. Mr. Gold witnesses them and shoves Keith off in the belief he is assaulting Lacey. Instead, she admits the real reason she agreed to the date. Lacey is simply not attracted to Mr. Gold's nice guy personality, and specifies they do not fit together because she isn't Belle. Later, in the bar's parking lot, she watches Mr. Gold beating up Keith. Intrigued, she realizes Mr. Gold is actually more than meets the eye, and finds herself drawn to his dark nature. She stands by with a mischievous smile as Mr. Gold continues to hit Keith. ("Lacey")

Afterwards, she and Mr. Gold leave and walk down the street chatting happily, which is secretly witnessed by Hook through a telescope in the clock tower. ("The Evil Queen")

One morning, while on the streets, Mr. Gold accuses Dr. Whale of eyeing Lacey in a suggestive manner and intimidates him into a cowered state. With Lacey's approval, he is inches away from stamping his foot in Dr. Whale's face when Neal rushes out of the bed and breakfast to stop the dispute. Neal is disgusted at his father's actions and reminds him of the time he turned someone into a snail. Amused, Lacey laughs and asks to know more about it, but Mr. Gold senses tension from Neal, so he sends her off to wait for him elsewhere while he converses with his son. Lacey spends more time with his Mr. Gold at his shop as they drink. She is exasperated and annoyed when asked to step in the next room after Mary Margaret and David come to Mr. Gold for help in finding a missing Regina. She overhears them bargaining with him for magic. After they are gone, she asks about his magic use and is amazed when he procures an expensive looking necklace out of thin air and helps her to put it on. After learning more about Mr. Gold inability to age due to his powers, Lacey wonders if she, too, could become immortal so they could be together forever. He says it's possible, but mentions that it doesn't keep a person immune from dying. Mr. Gold goes on to tell her about the prophecy a seer gave him a long time ago that a certain someone will be his undoing, which he takes to mean his death will occur because of that person. Puzzled, Lacey questions why he doesn't just get rid of the obstacle in his way as he's the kind of man who won't let anything stand in his way. ("Second Star to the Right")

After some of pawnshop guests leave, Lacey pops out from the backroom. When she spills a cup of scotch all over the table and hastily tries to use Baelfire's shawl as a wiping rag, Mr. Gold angrily berates her. Startled, she apologizes, to which he pulls out a bag and spills out the contents--broken pieces of the chipped cup--onto the table. Using magic, Mr. Gold reconstructs the cup to its unbroken state. Lacey expresses confusion over his fixation on the cup, but drinks a potion substance when he pours it for her. After a moment, Lacey's persona is replaced by the return of Belle. They have an emotional reunion. Mr. Gold apologizes for bringing her back when they are going to die from the trigger's effects, but needed the support. She comforts him as he cries over the loss of his son. The trigger is stopped with the combined magic powers of Emma and Regina, but Henry is kidnapped by Greg and Tamara and taken to another world. Mr. Gold decides he must go along to save him. Belle wants to go, too, but he instructs her to stay and keep the town safe. Sadly, Mr. Gold won't be able to return to her. Even to this, Belle keeps up her hopes that the future is uncertain and perhaps they will see each other again. They part with a kiss. Belle praises Mr. Gold for his efforts as Neal would be very proud of him. ("And Straight On 'Til Morning")

She watches the Jolly Roger sail off into a portal in the ocean and disappear from sight. Archie, Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Leroy, Mr. Clark, Mother Superior and Walter run up to her at the docks. Belle admits to them that the others went to another world on a ship to rescue Henry from Greg and Tamara's clutches. After showing them the cloaking spell Mr. Gold left behind for her to enact as he warned there will be more people coming to Storybrooke, they go down to the mines. Since fairy dust is necessary for the spell, Bashful, Dopey, Leroy, Mr. Clark and Walter quarry a large rock until opening a crack. With encouragement from Mother Superior, Belle dumps the vial's contents on the rock; causing a stream of magic to shoot out and begin covering a barrier over Storybrooke. Afterwards, she talks to Archie about missing Mr. Gold and worries he will die. Belle wishes to help save Henry, though Archie thinks she did more than enough by protecting Storybrooke. Yet, she is dissatisfied since pouring a potion over rocks isn't much to her. Belle also thinks no one is going to invade the town, and believes Mr. Gold doesn't need her. Suddenly, a guest from Neverland, Ariel, brings Belle a sand dollar from Mr. Gold. The two head over to the pawnshop where Belle triggers the item to reveal a message from Mr. Gold hinting at the location of the item they need to defeat Pan. He states that it can be found with "the strength of their love", and later recognizes the riddle's answer as the chipped cup. After placing the cup in the cupboard, it activates a hidden panel in the floor. Belle pulls out Pandora's Box, which legend says contains the world's darkest evil. They are ambushed by two strangers, Michael and John, who then tie them up. When threatened by their guns, Belle admits the box is magic, and learns they work for Peter Pan. After the men leave with the box, Belle pulls off Ariel's bracelet, which transforms the later back into a mermaid, allowing wiggle room out of the binds. Then, Belle stops John and Michael from smashing the box with a dwarf pickax by shoving them away with a mine cart. They plead for her not to help Mr. Gold, and admit to helping Pan because he has their sister Wendy captive. To this, she persuades them that the box is the key to freeing Wendy. Belle sees Ariel off on her journey back to Neverland with the box. ("Dark Hollow")

Following a safe journey out of Neverland to Storybrooke, Belle welcomes back Mr. Gold and Neal. Peace resumes as Mr. Gold seals the box containing Pan away in the pawnshop. Belle brings up the endless possibilities of his future now that everything is settled. Mr. Gold agrees, and states that the only future he wants is where they are together. The next day, as she and Mr. Gold are exiting the shop, David, Emma and Mary Margaret rush over to ask for the box as they believe Pan is controlling the escaped Shadow from inside it. Belle goes with them to the town border and watches as Emma steps over the town line and Mr. Gold opens the box to release Pan on the same side. Pan claims to be Henry, as the two switched bodies, and proves it by telling Emma something only the boy himself would know. They all regroup with Hook, Neal and Tinker Bell at the vault. where Regina took "Henry" for protection, though the door is locked. Mr. Gold busts the door open with magic. Inside, Regina is found unconscious while one critical item is missing and now in Pan's hands--the Dark Curse. ("The New Neverland")

Mr. Gold shares with everyone of the only viable way to stop Pan's curse is for Regina, as the original caster of the Dark Curse, to undo it by destroying the scroll, though there will be a steep price for this. They plan to switch Henry back to his own body so he will be in possession of the scroll and bring it to Regina. Mr. Gold can perform the spell, but needs a strong outlet in order for it to work. Tinker Bell has knowledge of a powerful Black Fairy wand that Mother Superior kept, so she, David, Hook and Neal go to retrieve it from the convent nuns. When the wand is procured, Mr. Gold uses it to transfer Henry's spirit back to his original body. Everyone leaves to find the boy while Mr. Gold stays behind. With Granny's tracking skills, they are reunited with Henry. Regina passes out after taking the scroll and awakens with knowledge of the price for stopping the curse. They are accosted by Pan as he steals back the scroll and freezes them in place. Pan narrows down his choice of first kill from Belle to Neal just as Mr. Gold intervenes. Belle listens as Mr. Gold declares his love for her, as well as Neal, but regretfully states that he can't be together with them. Mr. Gold summons the dagger and stabs Pan as well as himself with it; killing both of them as they fade away. After the freezing spell wears off, Belle collapses on the ground in heartbroken grief. Regina reveals the price for stopping the curse is all former Enchanted Forest inhabitants will be sent back to their old world while Storybrooke will disappear out of existence. Emma decides to stay with Henry, and will leave town while Regina crafts new memories for them. At the town border, Archie lends his shoulder to a despondent Belle. Once Emma and Henry cross out of town, Regina stops Pan's curse, causing everyone inside town to be sent back to the Enchanted Forest. ("Going Home")

A new curse is cast by none other than Snow White; returning Belle and the rest of the Enchanted Forest inhabitants to the town of Storybrooke. However, as a result of Wicked Witch of the West's interference, everyone's last recollection is the final day in Storybrooke when Regina stopped Pan's curse, but no one can recall anything further than that. Belle resumes life, albeit without Mr. Gold, and begins running his pawnshop. Emma returns and holds a town hall meeting to figure out who is behind the new curse. Leroy is quick to accuse Regina of wrongdoing, and Belle follows suit in agreement as do the other residents. Even Emma refuses to believe Regina, who causes a building tremor out of frustration, and then magically dissipates away. Unknown to everyone, aside from Leroy—who is also in on the scheme—this is a ploy Emma and Regina set up in order to make the townspeople believe the madam mayor is guilty while the two sleuth out the real criminal. ("Witch Hunt", "The Tower", "A Curious Thing")

One day, a midwife named Zelena comes into the pawnshop, mistaking her for "Mrs. Gold", and then asking for Mr. Gold himself. Belle quietly states that he died, to which Zelena gives her deepest condolences. As a customer, Zelena seeks Belle's help to pick out a baby gift for an expecting Mary Margaret. Belle happily assists and turns to search for just the right gift when she is magically frozen in place by Zelena, who grabs a plant called night root from a compartment behind a wall painting. Presumably, Belle is unfrozen and has no idea anything is amiss. ("The Tower")

Belle is alerted to the recent news about Mr. Gold's revival by Emma and is tasked with researching how he was resurrected. David and Emma go searching for Mr. Gold while Hook opts to stay behind in the pawnshop with Belle. She takes his decision warily, especially since he tried to kill her twice prior, though Hook states that he means to use this time to make it up to her. The two begin taking books off shelves when a noise erupts from pawnshop's front door. Believing Mr. Gold has come back, Belle sprints off; witnessing the door being rammed open, though the person is not her beloved, but a collapsed Neal. After taking him to the hospital, Emma snaps a photo of a triangle mark burned into Neal's palm, which Belle begins looking into it. Discovering the symbol's meaning in a book, she phones Emma to notify her that the mark originates from a key to the vault of the Dark One. Assuming Neal used it at some point, Mr. Gold was resurrected in this manner, but the catch is the Dark One will be revived while the key user will die. Emma discovers Neal is still alive due to being in Mr. Gold's body. After she magically separates them, Neal perishes. Saddened by the news, a grieving Belle is comforted by Mary Margaret. ("Quiet Minds")

In mourning, Belle attends Neal's funeral to pay her respects. Afterwards, at the diner, Zelena publicly reveals herself as Regina's half-sister and forces her sibling into a showdown on Main Street after sundown. In preparation, lest Zelena is planning something wicked, Belle, David and Tinker Bell seal off the streets. Hoping to swaying Mr. Gold to their side despite that Zelena is controlling him with the dagger, she sneaks into the farmhouse cellar to coax him out of his prison while David, Emma and Tinker Bell stand guard outside. Belle nearly succeeds until he warns her it's a trap, to which she notices Zelena has been quietly watching from the shadows. Fleeing, she stumbles out just before Mr. Gold, on Zelena's command, tells them to stay out of the way or risk death. During the evening, on Main Street, Zelena approaches while trailed by a helpless Mr. Gold. Belle witnesses Regina being thrown into the clock tower by Zelena, who later flees on her broomstick. ("It's Not Easy Being Green")

When Ariel enters the pawnshop, Belle is relieved that she is all right after not seeing her since the new curse has been in effect. She helps Ariel and Hook to search the shop for one of Eric's old belongings in the hopes of finding him. After Hook discovers Eric's cloak, Belle pours a locator potion on it. The cloak becomes enchanted and floats towards the location of its owner, to which Ariel and Hook follow along. ("The Jolly Roger")

After catching Regina sifting through items in the shop, Belle, still upset about being locked up for twenty-eight years, tells her to get lost. Regina offers an apology and asks Belle to think about Mr. Gold, who is still Zelena's hostage. Anger quelled, Belle calms down enough to admit she's been piecing together the ingredients Zelena has collected to find out what spell the witch is trying to cast. However, Belle is stumped over what is so special about Regina's heart that Zelena desperately needs it. Regina decides to find out what Zelena wants by talking to Cora, which is made possible once Belle gives her the now defunct candle to access the land of the dead. When Belle cracks Zelena's spell, she tells the others and they regroup at Regina's house where Mary Margaret was just possessed by Cora's spirit. Mary Margaret explains that her own mother, Queen Eva, caused Cora's marriage to Leopold to fall through, which resulted in Zelena being abandoned. Belle reveals the collected ingredients—David's courage, Regina's heart and Mr. Gold's brain—are items for a time spell to alter the past. Namely, Zelena desires to kill Eva so Cora would have never abandoned her first-born child. ("Bleeding Through")

Regina figures out the key to break the curse and getting everyone's memories back is to make Henry believe in magic. When Emma recalls believing in magic because of Henry's storybook, David, via a phone call, asks Belle to search for the item in pawnshop, but she does not find it. Once Regina bestows Henry with a kiss of true love, the curse breaks and everyone regains their memories from the lost year in the Enchanted Forest. ("A Curious Thing")

After Second Curse

Once the second curse is broken, Mary Margaret goes into labor at the hospital as Belle stumbles upon Zelena in the hallway. Zelena scoffs at Belle about not having learned her lesson the last time the dagger was utilized on Mr. Gold. Belligerently, Belle asserts her refusal to believe that, even though Mr. Gold desperately insists she must leave. Continuing to give Zelena a tongue-lashing over what she's put Mr. Gold through, Belle suddenly collapses, via the witch's magic, in his arms. Though Mr. Gold doesn't wish to leave his beloved, he is forced to by Zelena's will. In the aftermath, Zelena successfully makes off with the newborn as the last ingredient for her time spell, however, Regina herself defeats her sister with light magic. Regina, gaining the dagger, hands it over to Belle for safekeeping. She returns to the pawnshop where Mr. Gold is waiting for her. Once there, she relinquishes the dagger into his possession so he can be forever free of anyone's control. The only thing Belle asks of him is to not go after Zelena as she knows he is capable of being good. Due to Belle's immense trust in him, he affirms to do the same for her. As Mr. Gold hands back the dagger, he proposes to Belle, which she happily accepts by putting down the weapon and drawing him into an embrace. Without her notice, Mr. Gold switches the dagger; taking the real one while replacing a fake in the pawnshop. Unseen to Belle, he later kills Zelena; accidentally triggering magic in her pendant, which activates the time spell. ("Kansas")

Belle, unable to keep what she believes is the real dagger, tries to give it back again. Mr. Gold insists he trusts her completely and then changes the topic to their upcoming wedding. She happily informs him that her father, Moe, has given his blessing to them. During the diner celebration welcoming David and Mary Margaret's newborn son, Belle and Mr. Gold walk in as Zelena's time spell is activated. They both follow David, Regina and Robin Hood to check up on Zelena, who is now missing from the jail cell. Regina suspiciously accuses Mr. Gold of wrongdoing but he attests Belle has the dagger and wouldn't order him to harm Zelena. To prove it, David runs the security tape, which Mr. Gold secretly manipulates to give the appearance that Zelena used magic to turn herself into a statue, which shatters and melts away into powder. As a group, they agree to leave the time portal untouched, however, Emma and Hook enter through it to the past where they recreate a first meeting between Prince Charming and Snow White and then return to the present. Later, Belle witnesses David and Mary Margaret announce they are naming their son after a true hero—Neal. During the marriage ceremony, Archie acts as pastor while Belle is walked by her father to her future husband. Beginning her vows, Belle recalls losing Mr. Gold to darkness, weakness and death, but has actually spent her life finding him. He talks about being unloved and unloving since love has always given him pain, but she was the one who brought light into his life. Mr. Gold promises to never forget what he once was and what he is now. Belle believes the monster in him is gone, even though as a man he is flawed, everyone is too, which only deepens her love for him. ("Snow Drifts", "There's No Place Like Home")

Following the wedding, she encourages Mr. Gold into visiting Neal's grave site. Afterwards, Belle shows Mr. Gold a vacant mansion that she wants to use as their honeymoon suite. Inside, as she chatters on about the scenic ocean view, he magically freezes her in place and switches out the fake dagger in her purse with the real one. As he unfreezes her, Belle then leads him into a large dance hall. To have their first dance as husband and wife, Mr. Gold transforms their clothes and adds lighting and a playing gramophone as they waltz together. Later that night, an unassuming Belle is asleep when Mr. Gold takes the real dagger and uses it on a mysterious cylinder object in the house. At some point, he once again places the fake dagger into Belle's purse. ("A Tale of Two Sisters", "Rocky Road")

Returning to the shop, Belle and Mr. Gold discover it's been broken into. When the couple enter, Henry emerges and reveals he was hiding inside. As Belle walks into the back room, Henry greets her before he talks with his grandfather.[2][3]

Later, whilst working together in the pawnshop, Mr. Gold and Belle's martial bliss is interrupted by the appearance of David and Hook, who inform them that an ice magic wielder, Elsa, entrapped Emma in a cave where she is freezing to death. David explains Elsa is looking for her sister, Anna, whose pendant she found in the pawnshop. Belle fishes out a photo of the necklace, which David recognizes as belonging to a woman he once knew as Joan, whose real name must be Anna. ("White Out")

Inside the pawnshop, Belle stands by as Emma and Hook question Mr. Gold about his knowledge of Elsa. As Emma recalls, he had the urn, which Elsa was trapped within, in his vault. Mr. Gold professes he doesn't know Elsa and that items, like the urn she was trapped in, naturally fall into his possession as a collector, but the histories behind them are unknown to him. Hook counters that Mr. Gold wouldn't unless he had something to gain out of it. Owning up to his past, Mr. Gold affirms that was true once, but since losing a son and gaining a wife, he's "turned over a new leaf", which impresses Belle. In order to satisfy their skepticism, he allows Belle to command him, using the dagger, into revealing the truth. After she orders him into doing so, Mr. Gold professes that he did not know Elsa was trapped in the urn and that he doesn't know her or Anna, though it is a lie, as the dagger is a fake. Nonetheless, this declaration whittles Emma's doubts. ("Rocky Road")

One morning at the library, Belle discovers a drunken man sleeping on the floor near some book shelves. She phones Emma, who promptly arrives to apprehend the man into her custody at the sheriff's station. ("The Apprentice")

Assigned as Neal's caretaker for the day, Belle heads to the apartment where she cradles the cooing infant while sitting on Mary Margaret's bed. Nearby, at the counter, David quietly soothes Mary Margaret's worries about leaving Neal; saying that Belle is a natural with the baby and she has their emergency numbers if anything goes wrong. ("Breaking Glass")

Receiving an urgent call from Emma, Belle tracks down Mr. Gold at the pawnshop and they go to the sheriff station where David, Elsa, Henry, Hook, Mary Margaret and Regina are also gathered. Emma plays a camera recording, filmed when she was in a foster home, which reveals her then foster mother was the Snow Queen. At Henry's revelation that the Snow Queen has an ice cream truck, everyone splits up to search. David suggests Belle utilize tracking skills, but she'd rather research at the library. With hidden nervousness, she allows Elsa to come with her. Unbeknownst to Elsa, Belle once met Anna in the past and let her down. Losing hope, Elsa wonders if Anna put her in the urn, just as the Snow Queen claimed, and that her sister doesn't want to be found. Guilt-ridden, Belle excuses herself to make things right. Armed with the dagger, she commands Mr. Gold to lead her to the Snow Queen. After he does, Belle orders him onto watch duty while she goes into the Snow Queen's lair. Inside, she hopes to retrieve a Sorcerer's Hat to force the Snow Queen into revealing Anna's location. Unveiling a mirror, Belle's reflection taunts her about being a coward by having once valued a stone over Anna's life. The doppelganger nitpicks Belle into believing the dagger is fake. While in a trance, she slashes Mr. Gold's neck. Mr. Gold grabs Belle and teleports them to the pawnshop where she snaps out of it. There, she admits Anna is missing because of her and apologizes for abusing the dagger and using him. When Mr. Gold forgives her, Belle expresses remorse for keeping a secret from him as she knows he would never keep something from her. Rushing to the sheriff station, she reveals to Elsa how Anna was captured by the Snow Queen in the past. Relating knowledge about Ingrid's mirror, Belle explains it's key for casting a spell of shattered sight, which will make everyone turn on each other. ("Family Business")

Belle deciphers a spell to give Emma the opportunity to capture Ingrid. As the spell dictates, a candle must be lit with magic and then blown towards the target, which will form binds on the person's wrists. After Emma succeeds in doing so, she brings Ingrid to the station for questioning. Belle walks up to the clock tower where David, Elsa and Hook are studying a mirror previously placed by the Snow Queen. She hastily rushes over; warning the trio not to look in the reflection or it'll brainwash them. On closer examination, Belle notices it's not the same mirror she saw in the Snow Queen's lair. Realizing they have been duped, the group arrive too late to the station entrance, which has already been frozen shut by Ingrid. Storming into the pawnshop, they request Mr. Gold's assistance, and he only agrees after much imploring from Belle. Joined by Henry and Mary Margaret, everyone arrives to the station as an explosion tears open a hole in the building. A shaken Emma explains the Snow Queen got away, but she herself caused the combustion. With her powers spinning out of control, Emma then accidentally collapses a streetlight, which almost falls on Hook, but David takes the hit. Due to this, Mary Margaret reprimands Emma, but upon seeing her daughter's hurt expression, she retracts her anger. However, a shaken Emma flees and drives off in her car. ("The Snow Queen")

While everyone spends the entire night searching for Emma, Belle babysits Neal. She tells Mr. Gold about what's happening, and he secretly decides to use the situation to his advantage by attempting to trick Emma into giving up her powers to the hat. ("Smash the Mirror")

In a deal, Ingrid allows Mr. Gold to leave town with Belle and Henry once the curse is in effect. At the pawnshop, Belle reveals to Elsa and Emma that they can defeat Ingrid's curse with a hair strand from someone who has already been affected by the same spell and making a counter spell with it. Elsa suggests that she herself was sealed in the urn, by Anna, who was under Ingrid's spell, so her sister may fit the criteria. Under a magnifying glass, Belle sees mirror dust embedded in the pendant, which proves Elsa's theory. A plan is formed to gather the nuns for creation of the counter spell while Elsa and Emma use a locator spell to find Anna. With the nuns, Belle assists them at the diner when Mr. Gold arrives asking her to watch over the pawnshop. She insists on staying since the counter spell is very important, and he relents by deciding to keep her company until the business is finished. Elsa and Emma are led to a mine cave-in and are prepare to blast through to reach Anna until Belle phones David to let them know the nuns can make a counter spell with only the necklace. Elsa dupes them by handing over a pouch full of rocks and takes the real pendant to continue tracking her sister. After reaching the diner, everyone discovers the truth. Emma offers to retrieve the necklace, but Belle states that by the time she gets back, the counter spell will not be potent. Later, Belle receives word that Anna has been found and is on her way to the diner, so she leaves the remaining work to the nuns. She then departs with Mr. Gold; not knowing he is luring her away so Hook can help him absorb the nuns into the hat. They say their goodbyes outside the pawnshop, and Belle goes into the back room as he enacts a shield to protect her. ("Fall")

Under the curse, Belle's actions are not known. After the spell is undone by Ingrid, she is asleep in the pawnshop backroom as Mr. Gold watches over her. ("Shattered Sight")

After Belle awakens, her husband suggests packing for a trip to New York so they can have a proper honeymoon. While closing a suitcase, she talks to Henry about going out of Storybrooke. Puzzled, the boy informs her that remnants of Ingrid's magic will keep those who leave town from reentering. Although Belle did not know this, she assumes Mr. Gold has found a loophole around the issue. Noticing Henry is unhappy, she learns he is disappointed over the fairytale storybook and all the bad things that happen to Regina in it. She points out that it won't always be so since his mother is changing for the better. This cheers up Henry, who thanks her and endearingly calls her "Grandma", which makes Belle laugh and suggest he just refer to her by name. As Henry helps her pull out another suitcase, some stacked items fall in the process. Within the pile, Belle is shocked to see the magic gauntlet, an item used to locate one's greatest weakness, which Mr. Gold once traded to save her life. Troubled by the find, she tests the gauntlet out and it leads her to the real dagger. Witnessing Mr. Gold crushing Hook's heart, Belle orders him via the dagger to stop. She then commands him to drop the heart and unfreeze Emma and Mary Margaret. Thirdly, Belle makes him teleport both of them to the town line. There, she recalls when he traded the gauntlet for her, and her perception that this proved he had love in him. Instead, Belle recognizes he has not and will never give up power for her. He insists having power is not a bad thing, and they can have both, though Belle states she only wanted his love. Mr. Gold pleads for another chance, but she refuses. Having once said she saw the man behind the beast in him, Belle angrily declares he's just a beast now. In tears, she banishes him out of Storybrooke. ("Heroes and Villains")

During the six weeks after Mr. Gold's departure, Belle and Hook research a spell for freeing the nuns from the hat. One morning, she opens up the library as Hook meets her there after parting from Emma, who goes on sheriff duty. Once inside, Hook studies a board complied with information concerning the missing nuns, and in anger over the lack of progress, he knocks if off the wall. Belle tries assuring him that they do have a spell to release the nuns as well as the apprentice, but it'll take some time since she is consulting with outside sources to translate it. When Hook expresses guilt for imprisoning the apprentice and anger about Mr. Gold's trickery, she openly recognizes her own weakness in not seeing her husband for what he was due to being blinded by love. She believes Hook dealt with the same, except his love for Emma was used against him by Mr. Gold. Despite all the bad things her husband did, Hook asserts Mr. Gold did truly love her. Teary-eyed, Belle remarks that she hopes he found what what he was looking for. Later in the day, she receives an email from an Oxford professor, not knowing it is actually Mr. Gold, who gives her the translation, to which Regina uses the dagger to perform a ceremony on the hat. The nuns return safely, and while everyone basks in the reunion, none of them see a Chernabog being released from the hat and flying off. While the diner is bustling with activity to welcome the nuns back, the Chernabog makes itself known to the townspeople. With Emma, Hook, Mary Margaret and Regina, Belle ducks for cover behind a building as the group come up with a solution. After Emma and Regina temporarily stun the beast with their combined magic, Belle goes to look up information about the Chernabog at the library. Eventually, with knowledge from Cruella De Vil and Ursula about the Chernabog, the creature is forced across the town line and fades out of existence. ("Darkness on the Edge of Town")

Hearing of Cruella and Ursula's arrival to town, Belle prepares a transformation potion as a safety measure. Once the female duo enter into the pawnshop, she warns them not to try anything or the potion will turn them into toads. Giving congratulations to her for banishing the Dark One, they drop hints about Mr. Gold's sad circumstances in New York. As they tease her about whether she is satisfied with his suffering, Belle asserts she would never be pleased about someone else's misery. Without the brunette's notice, Ursula uses her tentacles to reach into the backroom and grab a wooden box containing Maleficent's totem. Belle then questions whether the two of them actually came to buy anything, so Cruella asks her to find something fashionable to adorn her car hood. After the women leave, Belle receives a phone from Emma about Cruella and Ursula's suspicious behavior. Checking the backroom, she finds the wooden box missing, to which David forces Cruella to pull over her car so he can search the vehicle. In the evening, as Belle is fixing one of the window displays, Mr. Gold secretly watches her from across the street with a longing gaze. When Will walks up to her inside the shop, she smiles happily before kissing him; much to Mr. Gold's shock. ("Unforgiven")

In the pawnshop, as Henry studies the storybook for clues on the author, Belle walks over carrying a snack as she inquiries about his research. The boy explains finding a page with a door, which he believes will lead to the author. She encourages him to continue investigating and then hands him the snack. While she is on a diner date with Will, Hook pulls Belle aside for a chat and tells her about Regina going undercover and finding out Cruella, Maleficent and Ursula are seeking the author to change their stories. Since the trio want Regina to steal something, he speculates they need the dagger to lure the Dark One into town and control him for the mission. Convinced that the dagger must never fall into their enemies' hands, Belle meets up with Hook to hand the weapon to him so he can hide it. Before doing so, she ominously considers the possibility that Mr. Gold is already in town. To quell her worries, Hook encourages her to order the Dark One with the dagger to face her if he is present. When her command yields nothing, Belle is relieved, however, she remains unaware Mr. Gold is already in front of her, except he is disguised as Hook. Turning the dagger over to him, she then returns to the pawnshop, where Will left a rose for her outside the door. Placing the gift in a vase, she busily admires it as Hook returns and persuades her into reciting a pirate's oath, in which neither of them must ever speak about the dagger to each other or anyone else. When questioned about her romance with Will, Belle admits the relationship is new, and she's not completely over Mr. Gold, but he makes her happy. Curiously, she wonders why he and Will are on bad terms, to which Hook states the man took something he cares about. Once he's outside the shop, Mr. Gold reverts back to himself and sadly regards Belle before leaving.

A lot more happens in between, she had a son named Gideon, things happen with him. Belle finally travels with Rumple, (her husband) and dies of old ages in the seventh season.

#once upon a time #belle french #rumplestiltskin | mr. gold #rumplestiltskin #rumbelle #disney princesses #canon roleplay #canon character #roleplay #belle x rumple #ouat #ouat rp #robert carlyle #emilie de ravin

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killiansprincss · 4 years ago

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Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Characters: Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Neal Nolan, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Alexandra (Once Upon a Time), Phillip II (Once Upon a Time), Original Female Character(s), Robin | Margot Additional Tags: Neverland (Once Upon a Time), Curses, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emma Grows Up Happy, Evil Queen curses Emma, season 6 AU, Angst, Magic, Hurt, Canon Divergence Chapters 1|2|3|4|5| okay here is chapter 6 of my Neverland fanfic! I hope you enjoy please leave me a comment on A03 I’d really appreciate it!

I also have a collage for my story below, ignore the badly photoshopped Alex Pettyfer as Neal Nolan!

Emma woke up on the morning of her 28th birthday and she felt like she had a hangover even though she hadn't been drinking. In fact, it was worse than a hangover because she had woken up with 2 lives inside of her head.

But it wasn’t like in New York, because that life was based on a lie and false memories, she actually had lived 2 lives. One as a daughter, a sister, a friend, and another as. Well, as an orphan.

Henry, and Killian. The two missing mystery men. No wonder she was dreaming of those two the most, as she had no clue where they were. The two most important men in her life and she was clueless as to where to begin looking for them. Hopefully, her parents would have the answers.

Her house. With the white picket fence, with a view of the water.

The two people missing from it were the ones who chose it.

How could this have happened? Things were going so well, the three of them were finally starting to be a family when the Queen ripped that away from them. She searches in her jewellery box that she’s looked through every day, hoping the one thing she wants is in there. Necklaces and bracelets and rings she’s received from her parents and friends over the years. It’s not there she thinks to herself.

But then, at the bottom of the pile, it's there. Liam’s ring, the one Killian gave her back in Camelot all those years ago. She takes the silver ring on the chain and feels a sense of relief as she puts it over her head. She was going to find them, and bring them home.

The drive to her parents’ house, despite it only being less than a 5-minute drive, felt like a lifetime. She kept going over in her head(s) what was happening right now, she was meant to be celebrating her birthday with her parents and younger brother, the way they do every year, but now she was finding it strange that she had a family to do this. She was an orphan who found her family at 28, but she wasn’t really an orphan now. Or was she?

She knocks on the door to her parents house, expecting a huge Happy Birthday banner and for them to sing, but instead her father has the sorrowful look in his eyes when he opens the door. There’s no ‘Happy Birthday’ because he obviously knew what was coming.

“I remember,” is all she says as she just starts to cry.

The old Emma, the orphan would never cry, especially in front of her parents, but the girl who grew up with a family cried over the stupidest things

“Come in, we'll talk all about it.” David says putting his arm around her leading her inside.

Wiping her tears away she asks, “what happened?”

David and Snow look at one another trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation. “The Evil Queen, she said turning you into a toddler was the best way to get to each of us.” They begin to explain, going through all the details of how they eventually captured the Queen using squid Ink and how Regina has sacrificed herself to save everyone.

“Wh-what about Henry and Killian?” Emma asks when they’ve finished.

Snow takes a deep breath before saying, “we don’t know. When it happened they ran off to another realm we think, we haven’t heard from them since it happened.”

Emma looks like she could be sick, or faint, or both.

Seeing her face David quickly adds, “they’re safe though don’t worry. We believe Gold had a hand in wherever they escaped to, we can go ask him.”

“No-“ she cuts them off, “I’ll go. Just me. Henry’s my son and I have no idea where he is, I haven’t been his mother for 25 years.”

“Emma, you didn’t have a choice. He forgives you for putting him up for adoption, of course he’ll forgive you for not being there when you were under a curse.” Snow tells her, caught off guard by her sudden attitude-the Emma she raised would never do something this important alone. She was going to have to get used to the fact that the Emma she didn’t raise was seeping back in, the one who liked to work alone. The Orphan.

“Before you go beat up Gold to find out where Henry is,” David says, giving her a large rectangular box, “I thought you might want this.”

Emma takes the box, and slowly opens it to reveal her red leather jacket. Her armour. She hasn’t needed her armour growing up with a family, but now…

She took off her armour when she realised she wanted a future with Killian. But now, she didn’t know if there was a future with him.

_______

She decides to walk to Golds shop. Feeling slightly betrayed by everyone she needs the fresh air. That is until she bumps into her best friend Alex.

“Happy Birthday Emma!” She screams and hugs as she sees her. “I know it’s only a Tuesday but I was thinking tonight we can go drinking at the Rabbit Hole, like I’m working there until 8 and then I have tomorrow off,” she starts babbling, Emma feels so mean but all she can think about is Henry and getting him back.

“I can’t, I need to find my son. I need to find him I don’t know.” She starts to ramble, she knows Alex won’t understand, but she can’t think straight.

Alex looks perplexed, “I’m confused, you don’t have a son? Emma are you feeling okay?”

“No!” She cries, “nothing in my life is real, none of this. It’s all lies I don’t.”

Alex takes Emma’s hand, “Em. It’s okay. I’m your best friend, I’ve known you for your whole life, whatever you’re going though I’m here.”

“No that’s the problem, you don’t know me. At all. My life, growing up with you, it’s all based on a lie.” As soon as Emma said it, she knew it came out wrong.

Letting go of her hand Alex replies, “okay well if that’s how you feel then forget it. I was only trying to help. So much for being best friends.” And storms away, hurt by what Emma said.

She tried to call after her, but it was no use. And plus even if she tried to explain what was going on she wouldn’t believe it.

___

Standing outside of the Pawn Shop is strange. She had been inside many times before in her past life, but not once in the past 25 years. She stands outside for a moment debating what to say, but in the end she just storms inside. She sees the dark one inside in all his horrific glory, despite not having aged much he still looks awful.

“Where the hell is my son Gold?” She demands.

“Why Miss Nolan, I didn’t realise you had a son?” Emma rolls her eyes, the typical Dark One avoiding the question at hand.

“Don’t play dumb okay. Henry. Your grandson. Where. Is. He?” She demands again.

He finally looks up from his books. “Ah, has it been 25 years already? Well I believe birthday wishes are in order!”

Emma sighs, this isn’t going to be easy. “Look. My parents told me Henry and Killian made some kind of deal with you after what happened to me. They’re in some other realm or something, I want to know where, and how you can get them back.”

“Well I told them where they could go. Doesn’t mean they’re still there. As for getting them back, I’m afraid you’ll have to do that yourself.” He explains.

“Okay then do something to find them.” She practically yells at him.

“Blood magic can be used to find your son, for your one handed pirate lover I'm afraid there’s no way of finding him.” Emma’s heart sinks, but she knows Henry is the most important person to find right now.

He reaches under the counter to grab something, part of Emma wishes she had her gun but at the same time she knew that wouldn’t work on him, and her parents probably got rid of that a long time ago. It’s the same white atlas-like ball he used to locate Henry when he was kidnapped by Pans' minions.

“Before you do anything, if that’s a locator spell we are using my blood. Forgive me if I don’t trust you, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you do anything.” She tells him.

He nods in understanding. Emma gives her hand over and he and he pricks it on the top of the globe, slowly releasing her finger onto the white globe and the blood rushes around forming different shapes until they finally form one shape and glow.

“What does that mean?” She asks.

He smirks, “why it’s Neverland dearie.”

The pit of Emma’s stomach gurgled, and it wasn’t because she hasn’t eaten anything today.

Neverland.

Where Henry was taken the first time. Also the place where she finally admitted to herself that she felt something for Killian, and where he told her after kissing her he saw himself loving someone again.

It was where she accepted the fact she was an orphan, a lost girl.

“So do you have a magic bean or something?” She asks, ignoring her overwhelming thoughts inside her head.

The Dark one just laughs, “you think if I had an endless supply to magic beans I would still live here?”

Emma just glares at him, “so how do I get there? What happened to the wand you had? It created portals before?”

“That wand was lost a long time ago. As for portals, you and your brother are born of the truest love, your powers are of the strongest light magic. You created a portal once when you went back in time, I’m sure after years of training and love you’ll be able to do it again.” He explains. “Meet me back here later with your family and I’ll show you.”

______

Neal Nolan was working as an English Teacher in Storybrooke High. He had grown up with his older sister Emma, who was a year older than him. Or so he thought. Neal had no idea of the news he was about to be hit with about his sister.

Neal knocks on the door to his parents’ house with his gift for his sister. He got her a Granny's gift card and a new brown sheriffs jacket (which his girlfriend Thalia helped him pick out) and expects to see Emma in the goofy birthday hat they have both worn on their birthdays since they were 5, but instead, his dad opens the door and he walks in to find Emma looking through the Storybook almost crying.

“Everything okay?” He asks.

Emma looks at him, almost horrified. “We gotta talk.”

He debates whether to say Happy Birthday or not. He decides against it.

“I have no idea how you’re going to take this news,” Emma begins, “One thing is that you are an uncle.”

Nels eyes widen “You’re pregnant?”

“NO!” Emma shouts “Not, no, definitely not.”

Neal is even more confused.

“You are an uncle, but I’m not pregnant. I was, but I'm not now, or well I was a long time ago” Emma starts rambling and making no sense, Neal is even more confused now-When did Emma have a kid?

“Maybe we should back up a little.” Snow says, seeing her son's confused face.

And so the three of them explain how Emma was put through the magic wardrobe to eventually save everyone. How Emma met Neals namesake and thus Henry was born but given up for adoption. Then all about her journey in Storybrooke and breaking the curse, and all the other journeys and curses up until the one where she was turned into a toddler. And how said son and Emma’s boyfriend ran away to Neverland, a place where nobody grows old.

Looking at the photos of Emma holding her baby brother was slightly concerning considering Emma in the photos looked exactly as she did now, yet Neal was a baby. If he hadn’t just been told Emma’s previous life story, he would’ve sworn they were photoshopped.

“Okay, so what happens now?” Neal asks, worried about the answer.

“You and I have to create a portal to Neverland to save my son and True Love,” Emma tells him as though it’s obvious.

“Wait a second, you and I create a portal, like combine our powers?” Neal asks slightly worried about this, they had never combined their powers before and now they were meant to create a portal, everything that could possibly go wrong was likely to happen.

“I realise it’s crazy, but we have no choice. You just gotta trust me.” Emma knows Neal can never say no when she says this, as his older sister Emma always got him to do what she wanted by saying “trust me”. Despite getting into trouble most of the time when they were younger with the whole trusting Emma, even now as a 26 year old man, he couldn't say no to his sister.

Neal just sighs, “Okay. Let's do this.”

Neal had never stepped inside Mr. Gold's Pawn shop. When he was younger he heard stories of kids sneaking in and touching different items therefore getting cursed with the insane amounts of dark magic in his shop. Now he was older, he knew this was just a story, but it didn’t make him any less nervous to enter his shop, there was an insane amount of light and dark magic inside that freaked him out.

There was something different about Emma, the way she walked and held herself. She was less confident, very aware of her surroundings, normally she was more confident and whilst she was aware people knew her (both as Snow White oldest child, and the current sheriff), she never let this bother her, whereas now, supposedly everyone their parents age would have known her before her curse, people were looking at her wondering if she had broken her curse yet. Even as they enter Mr Gold's shop, which wasn’t actually as scary inside as he pictured, she walked in very determined,

“Okay were here. How do we do this?”

“Patience Miss Nolan.” He tells her.

“Ah and the youngest of the Charming broods I see.” Mr Gold says looking at Neal, who suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. He knew of the things he had done to people, innocent people, in the Enchanted Forest and that made his stomach churn. But his parents (and Emma apparently now too) have trusted him in the past, and Neal guessed so should he.

“Before we make this portal, you don’t do things out of the goodness of whatever heart you have left. What did you ask for in return?” Emma really was not the older sister he grew up with, she was this independent, confident and slightly argumentative woman that looked like his sister, but had a different aura about her.

“For my grandson I was willing to let the poor lad have this without a deal. As for the pirate.” He sneers, Neal was told The Dark One had a colourful history with Hook, and he was seeing this already. “I simply reminded him of the 300 years he spent in Neverland and what, desires, may still lurk.”

Neal had no idea what this meant, and neither did Emma by the looks of it.

“Now, you two are born of the purest true love therefore your powers combined can create some pretty serious magic.” Gold explains, “Now I need the two of you to hold your hands together and believe you are strong enough. You need to think of the portal in your minds, you will feel it when it is ready.”

And so the siblings to just that. They take each other's hands, standing opposite one another and close their eyes. They then take a deep breath and think of a portal in their minds, letting their magic grow and rise above them.

Emma thinks of Henry, and of Killian. She thinks of Neverland in her mind, and when Henry was kidnapped, she thinks of how badly she wanted to get him back and the things she had learnt about herself, about how much she loved Henry. And about how she was feeling something for Hook.

Both siblings can feel the magic, it’s a part of them and it's rushing around their insides like their blood. Gold said they would feel it when the portal was ready, and he was not wrong. It almost splits the two siblings apart, but they hold on to one another until they just know it’s ready.

The two siblings open their eyes and see a door, a green door with black etchings and designs. It's the portal to Neverland.

They're going to save Henry. Again.

_______

The four charming family members step through the beautifully crafted door, the portal to Neverland. They had packed a few bags and Emma was going to see her son (and hopefully true love) for the first time in 25 years. She could be sick.

The greenery of Neverland greets them as they walk through the door, the humidity and vast amount of jungle and sea that they had seen once upon a time. They arrive near the coast, and Emma can’t see the Jolly Roger in the water, but she had to think positively. If Killian was here she would find him. But only after they found Henry.

She looks over at her parents, and they have the same look on their faces. Fear, determination and awoken memories they had shoved into the back of their minds. After all, Emma wasn’t the only person to go through hell in Neverland, her father was poisoned with dreamshade and had planned to spend the rest of eternity here after drinking the rejuvenating waters.

And poor Neal who only found out a few hours ago that she was actually a lot older than him and was cursed, and now he was in Neverland searching for two people he had only met as a baby.

“Let’s head into the jungle then.” Emma says to her family. And so they head off, into the green jungle filled with who knows what. Now Pan was dead, who knows who now ruled Neverland.

It looks the same as it did 30 years ago, but it feels different. The Magic on the Island feels different, she knows this now, by studying magic for years taught her to sense different types of magic and this was some kind of mix of light dark magic. Not as powerful as Dark One Magic, but not the light magic she feels inside herself. Whatever was keeping this Island alive was clearly a type of magic not found in Storybrooke.

They’re walking for probably an hour when Neals plucks up there courage and asks, “Do you recognise anything here?”

Emma wants to ignore him and shut him out, the way she would’ve done before, but he was her brother, “Honestly, no. I thought I would but it all looks the same.”

“I think we should keep walking, I think we’re on a ridge right now and I assume there’s flatland where we can set up camp a little further up.” Their mother cuts in. Snow was a bandit and a runaway for years when her father was killed, so she knows how to scope out new lands and find a place to set up camp, so they don’t question it and sure enough another little while and they find flat land that seems like a good enough place to set up camp.

“Let’s not use magic to set it up though,” Emma tells her brother, “we don’t know what sort of magic is used here, or who now rules this Island and if they can detect magic. It’s just safer to do it the normal way.”

Everyone nods as they begin to set up. Emma is terrified, she has been since she woke up and realised her life was a lie. She had grown up the way she always wished to, with a family, but now she had broken her curse, it didn’t feel right. She abandoned two people she loved, one being her son. The first family she had in 28 years.

They had run away. So heartbroken that they ran from their home. That didn’t make her feel good about herself. Henry has forgiven her for giving him up as a baby, but will he forgive her for this?

“Emma! Emma!”

She’s snapped out of her thoughts by her brother's voice.

“Sorry, I was zoned out.” She tells him.

“Hey it’s okay don’t worry.” He can clearly sense what’s happening in her brain, though he has no idea of the extent. “I know you said no magic, but don’t you think it’s a good idea to put up a protection spell around our camp? To keep out whoever or whatever might attack us.”

Her little brother was brilliant. Though his magical abilities were not as good, lucky for him was not the saviour so his magic wasn't as strong, but what he did know was his magical history and the theory behind magic, much more than Emma did.

“That's actually a really good idea! You can cast it if you want, I’m a little weak after the portal.” She lies, she’s not weak, she's just scared of using her magic. In her real-or before her cursed life, she didn’t use magic unless it was serious, when she was the Dark One she used it for everything just like in her cursed life.

He believes her lie, why wouldn’t he, she never normally lies to him. He casts the protection spell eagerly, not normally given the chance to do magic.

“We should rest. It’s dark, and we’re not gonna be able to find Henry now. Let’s sleep, and we can figure out our plan in the morning. We also don’t know who or what is in charge of this Island, don’t want to run into them in the middle of the night.” David says to his family, to which they all agree. Emma is exhausted and her dad is right, there’s no point starting now all she knows is he is on the Island somewhere, maybe he’s imprisoned, or worse, enjoying his time on the island where you don’t grow up.

Sharing a tent with Neal when they were kids was a fun adventure, but as two adults, one who was snoring very loudly, it was a very different story. As tired and exhausted as Emma was, or thought she was, she could not sleep. Killian once told her he was never able to sleep in Neverland, as you can hear the cries of the other lost boys and girls.

But you can only hear their cries if you are also a lost one.

Sure Emma had a family, and she grew up surrounded by people who loved her, she had 2 best friends and a little brother. She was the furthest thing from a lost girl. But she was an orphan. For 28 years, she was an orphan who was never wanted, and gave up her child at 17. That part of Emma will never go away.

Giving up on trying to sleep, she gets out of the tent and sits on the log to try and clear her head. If it’s even possible to do that with the cries of lost ones.

She thought about the two men she was here to save. The last time she had seen Henry, it was saying goodbye to him on the school bus, it was a Friday so they planned to have a Star Wars marathon that weekend. Emma had stocked the freezer with Ice Cream especially. Finally Killian would learn and understand their references to Star Wars. She hoped Henry would still be the same smart little kid who questioned everything.

And Killian. God she missed him. He would bring her coffee in the mornings when she had an early start, and when she was on a night shift at the station he would be at home cooking her breakfast. If she hadn’t been cursed, they would’ve been married and had a kid or two by now. They were finally happy, finally without walls, and she had a feeling Killian was going to propose. But of course he never got the chance.

She loses her train of thought when she hears a twig being stepped on. Her impulses kick in and she hides behind the large tree to her left. She hears someone whistling, as if signalling to somebody. She sees him in the distance. A lost boy, around 15, dark hair, like…

“Henry!” She jumps from behind the tree and in front of her son.

He looks startled, obviously because she scared him and also he hasn’t seen her for 25 years. “Mom?”

Emma is smiling so hard right now, “Henry!”

Henry can’t seem to get words out, “m-mom? Is? It’s-you-you’re here?”

She goes to embrace her son with tears streaming down her face. “I’m here. It’s broken. The curse.”

She pulls back and wipes away her tears.

“Is it really you?” He asks.

Emma looks different to how he remembers her. Her blonde hair is in a french braid, something she only learned to do in this life. Her clothes are nicer, but still donning the red jacket. Henry knows it’s her, but could it really be her?

“It’s me. Henry. It’s really me. I know you love cinnamon on your hot cocoa, and Operation Cobra brought me to Storybrooke and you made me believe in magic in everything.” Emma’s practically sobbing, she didn’t expect to see him so soon.

Henry looks nervous constantly checking his surroundings, “I can’t stay. If you’re truly my mom, then meet me here tomorrow morning when the sun rises over the place they took my heart.” With one last look he runs away into the darkness of Neverland.

Emma is stunned for a second, confused as to what just happened. Was there someone following him, or did he need to be somewhere?

The place where they took my heart

Dark Hollow . She tried to look around but it was dark, hopefully in the morning she would be able to see the sun rising over it.

Just as she’s pondering over the last minute with Henry, she’s startled by another voice.

“Swan.”

She hasn’t heard that name in 25 years. And there’s only one person who calls her that.

“Killian.”

#Captain swan #Cs Ff #emma swan #Killian jones #emma x killian #emma x hook #fanfic #captain swan fanfic #ouat

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nooowestayandgetcaught · 4 years ago

Note

1-36 ALL OF EM. ALL OF EM.

THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR, BRO. ALL FANDOMS.

1. First ship you remember

Peter Pan/Wendy Darling (Disney’s Peter Pan) is my best guess as far back as I can remember. That’s the original OTP next to Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle (DCU) and Ariel/Prince Eric (Disney’s The Little Mermaid).

2. Your newest ship

Hmmm,,, I haven’t really watched anything new,,,,,,, but I mean I did get into Geralt/Jaskier (Netflix’s The Witcher) recently. I really like them.

3. Favourite ship ever

STARES LONGINGLY AT PETER/WENDY

I go between them and Mulan/Li Shang (Disney’s Mulan) and Korra/Asami Sato (Avatar: Legend of Korra) and Yuuri Katsuki/Viktor Nikiforov (Yuuri On Ice) and Arya Stark/Gendry Waters (GOT/ASOIAF) for my favorite ships of all time

4. Favourite m/f ship

I grew up on the His Dark Materials books and I always was a Lyra Belaqua/Will Parry shipper and that has never ever changed. They’re so sweet. I WOULD LIKE PHILIP PULLMAN TO BRING THEM IN THE NEXT BOOK THAT IS SUPPOSED TO COME OUT. DO NOT FUCK AROUND.

5. Favourite m/m ship

you really can’t wrong with Ash Lynx/Eiji Okumura (Banana Fish) except you can and I don’t care,,,, everyone’s alive and fine and not depressed,,,,,,,

6. Favourite f/f ship

do you know how much my heart broke when they refused to do Emma Swan/Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time) EVEN THOUGH everything in canon said they were True Love????? now I’m just pissed,,,,, I can’t let go of them

7.Most innocent ship

OH GOD,,, KATARA/AANG (AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER). THE FLUFFIEST. THE HAPPIEST. THE SWEETEST BABIES.

8.Most fluffy ship

WHAT DID I LITERALLY JUST SAY???

9.Most angsty ship

good god it’s Clarke Griffin/Lexa (The 100) but I still love them and I know I wasn’t THERE for Lexa dying but I’m STILL livid about what they did and how they treated the LGBT+ community and I’m gonna throw hands,,,, ever since it happened and Clexa is mentioned in the show,,, it’s always so painful,,,,, Clarke is not letting Lexa go and tbh she shouldn’t and I’m gonna get mad again

10. Most smutty ship

Smut is optional, not a requirement for my ships.

11. Ship that you would never have wanted in canon but like in fanworks

I don’t fucking trust MCU so they can have none of my ships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. Character that you can only imagine in one ship

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.

13. Most shippable character

Merlin (BBC Merlin) and Harry Potter.

14. Character that you can’t imagine in any ship

Any character I don’t like.

15. Favourite poly ship

I love love love love Rey/Finn/Poe Dameron. Finnreypoe. Jedistormpilot. I fell in love with Rey/Finn and Finn/Poe through “The Force Awakens” and then saw in the novelization that there was hints of Rey/Poe Dameron and LATCHED onto it. Don’t even fight me with “The Rise Of Skywalker” because it was COMPLETELY a Jedistormpilot movie and that’s all I was there for. Those three characters.

16. Characters that you kinda ship but prefer as brotp FRIENDSHIP

since I think Katniss might be aroace,,, I wanna say Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark and don’t get wrong,,,, I do ship but more platonic ship

17. Characters that you ship and can’t imagine to be friends

Spike himself said that Buffy Summers/Angel (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) dynamic could never be friends and only friends and he’s right

18. Guilty pleasure ship

GUILT IS CRINGE!! CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD!!! YOU SHIP THINGS TO YOUR HEART’S DELIGHT!!!!! HAVE FUN!!!

19. Ship that you never expected to ship.

I was straightbaited by Black Sails while watching as it aired and never saw Captain James Flint/Thomas Hamilton coming,,,, or them unburying the gays,,,,, I thought the whole time Thomas and James were sharing Miranda,,,

20. Ship that you liked but don’t anymore

at one point I liked Callum/Soren (The Dragon Prince) but I’m over them and I’m over that show and I don’t support Aaron fucking Ehasz

21. Ship that one day you were thinking of and thought “wait,when I started shipping it?”

I DO THAT LITERALLY WITH EVERY SHIP I HAVE

22. Ship that you immediately fall in love with after one scene despite not considering it before.

aahhhh I saw Toni Topez interact with Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale after their confrontation which was like,,,, the first time they ever spoke to each other,,,, but then the diner scene happened, and now I ship them. And they’re canon.

23. Poly ship that you ship despite not shipping some of the characters in it outside of poly ship.

I only ship Ryn/Maddie Bishop/Ben Powell with each other. That’s it. IT’S A CANON INTERRACIAL LGBT+ SHIP. IT’S REAL. I’M SO HAPPY.

24. Biggest notp

Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon (DCU),,,,, oooh don’t get me fucking started

25. Favourite foe yay ship

L/Light (Death Note). That’s a classic. I know Light made sure his ass was murdered but c’mon,,, c’mon,,,, THE CREDITS TO THE LAST EPISODE THO??? DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT???? THAT WAS GAY AS HELL.

26. Characters that you like in every dynamic (lovers,friends,enemies)

we gotta go with Doctor/Master (Doctor Who),,, they’ve been all three,,,,, nobody can tell me otherwise and that’s the beauty of these two! My favorite versions are 1) Thirteen/Dhawan!Master, 2) Ten/Simms!Master, and 3) Twelve/Missy and if you add Simms!Master with the last one then it’s GOLDEN

27. Ship that you expected to ship before reading/watching franchise and you do

I saw gifs and things of Anne Lister/Ann Walker (Gentleman Jack) before I started watching and I already knew I was gonna fall in love AND I DID

28. Ship that you expected to ship before reading/watching franchise and you don’t

this might be a weird one but I really thought I was gonna ship Victor Van Dort/Victoria Everglot or Victor Van Dort/Emily (Corpse Bride) and I just didn’t for either of them. I DO HOWEVER SHIP EMILY/VICTORIA EVERGLOT.

29. Favourite crossover ship

OHHHHH we gotta go with Kate Kane/Kara Danvers (Arrowverse) like look at them look at the gay it’s like SuperBat but the female millennial version

30. Favourite canon ship

Princess Bubblegum/Marceline (Adventure Time)! I’m overjoyed they are canon! I’m not done watching all of this show but still,,,,, and that means we can get Prince Gumball/Marshall Lee to be confirmed canon too?? Yes??

31. Favourite non-canon ship

I know we can’t like CONFIRM in canon but Frodo Baggins/Samewise Gamgee are in love and there’s no denying this. They’re canon enough to me.

32. Favourite ship for hurt-comfort

All of my ships are good for hurt/comfort and whump. I don’t discriminate.

33. Ship that you ship in one installment of franchise but not in other (for example in movie,but not in the book this movie is based on)

I ship Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling in the movies for Hannibal related things, even though Will Graham exists in them, but I ship Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham for NBC’s Hannibal 100% and won’t ship them with anyone else

34. Ship that you never expected to ship when you were younger but here you are

I never expected to ship Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger all together years down the road,,,,, since as a kid I flip-flopped between Ron/Hermione & Harry/Me,,,, er,,,,,,,,, I mean Harry/My OC That Was Definitely Not Me At All and Harry/Hermione but here we are

35. Ship that you have kinda love/hate relationship with

right now it’s Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn (HBO’s Euphoria) because they’re so cute,,, they really are,,, but they can be so bad together and I hate that! I just want it to work out but Jules doesn’t understand her own feelings,,, and is kinda fucking around with Rue’s feelings,,,,,, and Rue needs to deal with her drug addiction problems first,,,, but let’s see what happens for Season 2

36. Characters that you can’t decide if you prefer as ship or brotp

okay FIRST OFF we don’t “brotp” anything no more because the term was created with homophobic connotations so replace it with “friendship” and honestly I can’t decide if I like Lucifer/Chloe Decker (Netflix’s Lucifer) as a romantic or platonic ship or somewhere between. I haven’t decided.

#ask #glove23 #long post

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silvertonguc · 5 years ago

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Rules: name your top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.

Tagged by @viciousgold

Tagging anyone who hasn’t done this and would like to. I think most have been tagged already!

In no particular order:

1. Regina Mills - Once Upon a Time This character got me through the most difficult years of my life.

2. Marisa Coulter - His Dark Materials A current favourite. I also love Ruth a lot, she’s my favourite actor alongside Lana. I haven’t known an actor to convey as much as Ruth can on her face alone. So much is happening even in the short gif below, her talent blows me away! (Lyra is my joint favourite from this fandom.)

3. Esmé Squalor - A Series of Unfortunate Events I miss this sugar bowl-obsessed woman so much!! (Joint favourite with Carmelita, who I found to be the easiest canon muse I have ever written. Slightly worrying, ha.)

4. Brittany S. Pierce - Glee The first character I remember really seeing myself in when I was about 13.

5. Brooke Davis - One Tree Hill I started with S6 when I was 12, went back and watched everything I’d missed after falling in love with this character.

6. Celeste Wright - Big Little Lies I binged this show in 2 days. It’s kind of a tie between Celeste and Renata though!

7. Clarke Griffin - The 100 I don’t watch this show anymore, but I loved the first few seasons.

8. Grace Hargreeves - The Umbrella Academy If she’s not in S2 I’ll be sad. Fun fact, my friends think I look like her and I’m happy with that, ha.

9. Maureen Robinson - Lost in Space S2 was incredible and made me cry multiple times.

10. Sienna Blake - Hollyoaks I don’t watch soaps very often at all, but Anna Passey is amazing and Sienna deserves to be on this list.

#;;ooc #;;munstuff #this was harder than i thought #to choose just one from each #so i added a couple of joint fav mentions #bc i can

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ouatsnark · 3 years ago

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The bad things we learned from Once Upon a Time

I have always felt it was important to criticize the bad while praising the good. Elevate the goodness above the evil. And when it comes to Once Upon a Time it is so important to point out the major flaws in this show because so many weak minded individuals have absorbed it as truth. And therein lies the problem with stories that glorify evil without justice. You can see this displayed in the Evil Queen and Rumpelstiltskin fandom so very well. They call names, threaten violence, twist truths and use real world issues as a weapon to silence opinions or facts that they do not like.

Once Upon a Time’s overall message was one of love, hope and forgiveness but at a closer look you’ll see the toxicity mixed within the stories. This post focuses on the negative because it so often framed as something positive... when it isn’t.

Regina Mills taught us that you aren’t responsible for your actions (if you’re a beautiful woman).

Which is one of the worse messages this show has to offer. “Evil isn’t born. It is made” became a popular catch phrase. Evil isn’t born but it isn’t made either. It is a choice. We all have a choice to make. And Regina made hers.

Regina blames her mother, Rumple, Snow, the Evil Queen and the book for making her the evil queen.

So if you have someone to blame and you can shed a few tears over your lost happy ending... congratulations! You get a free pass on all the horrible stuff you’ve done! You abused your child? No problem you can have him back! You destroyed a woman’s life? No problem you can have her total support even as you continue to belittle her and never apologize! This often won’t work in the real world so tread with caution here.

This of course only applies if you’re a beautiful woman who shows a lot of cleavage. This is evident because Regina never pays for her crimes & neither does Zelena, really, while everyone else does or is at least fully blamed for theirs with no way out. Even Cora is turned into a victim in the end.

1) Snow

Snow telling Regina’s secret is always thrown in her face vs blaming the true murderer Cora. Snow was a child being manipulated by an adult but this is never really touched on! It’s always Snow’s fault that Regina chose evil.

Snow murders Cora, a powerful evil woman plotting to kill them all, and is vilified for it. This is never seen as something positive because it hurts Regina. I’m sorry, how is stopping a murderer plotting more murder a bad thing? Cora also has magic. So really the only option was to trick her. Maybe Snow’s motives for revenge makes it a little iffy but is it too much to ask the show to address the bigger issue instead of having a Regina pity party? Or for turning villains into victims?

The show also retconned the story to make Snow and David baby snatchers and they had to face their victims and make things right. Which if it had been Regina, the author would have been solely blamed for this. He did manipulate Snowing, after all. But they made a choice. The wrong choice. But the show actually doles out the correct punishment for the Charmings whereas it never did for Regina. Furthermore, if the show held everyone to the same standards as Regina then Snow and Maleficent would have become fast friends.

Snow put Emma into the wardrobe to give her her best chance. In S6 the show tries to absolve Regina’s role in that by showing the Charmings opening a door to a young Emma. And then you have Snow saying “we took so much from you, we can’t take Hook too”. They’re receiving the entire blame for Emma’s childhood and not once laying it at Regina’s feet. Because when they closed that door, it was still because of Regina’s curse. They couldn’t live their lives while they left others to be cursed (per Gold’s retconning in S6).

2) Killian paid for his crimes with his life and had to face his victims.

The last thing Killian wanted was to become a Dark One. He did not choose this. He feared he wouldn’t be able to resist the darkness. And when that darkness consumed him, it manipulated him to do things he never would have done otherwise. However, he fought it and won. Then did what Regina could never do. He died for everyone.

People will say “but what about S2 Regina when she sacrifices herself”. That was her kill switch. She wasn’t consumed by evil when she made it. She chose that of her own free will. And the only reason she didn’t go through with it is because Greg & Tamara had ruined her plans. If they hadn’t, everyone would be dead right now except Regina and Henry. That’s the problem! And she still lived.

She had another chance to sacrifice herself in S6 when they were up against her more evil half but she let the Charmings face her instead. That was just gross. If she was any kind of redeemed hero she wouldn’t have listened to them and sacrificed herself instead. But the Charmings were willing to sacrifice themselves. Because they are a good example of true heroes.

When separated from Emma, Killian fell into a dark place again and reverted back to his piratical ways. He shows true remorse for what he did. True heartfelt regret.

Then there is Belle

He’s been making things up to Belle since S3. He comforted after she had to force Rumple from Storybrooke in S4 and then again in S6 he faces the Dark One’s wrath to give her shelter. By the end she is counting him as a friend. And we actually see and understand why. He has shown regret and has treated her with respect.

To be honest the story of Killian being David’s father’s murderer was one of the dumbest stretches this show did and it’s obvious they did it for one reason. Regina couldn’t be the only one to kill one of Emma’s grandparents! It’s so stupid. But he was so torn up by guilt and when he goes to face David he doesn’t even get the chance to get the words out. He is forgiven because David acknowledges that Killian has changed.

YES everyone also acknowledges the change in Regina but where is it shown? Just in the fact that she stopped killing people and joined team hero for the sole purpose of getting her happy ending? She is treated with such kid gloves!

3) Dark Swan hurts Henry to get a tear to banish evil forever and Regina is allowed to throw that back in Emma’s face. Twice. So where are all the times characters bring up Regina’s actual abuse of Henry where she did so for her own selfish reasons cause she wanted to keep him all to herself & keep her curse going? Oh, right, that never happened because we’re led to believe that her actions were justified.

REGINA NEVER FACES A VICTIM

Not without that victim become the villain or without being thanked for it. There was Percival who stabbed Robin instead of Regina which was all about Regina losing love again and not about the fact that one of her victims just lost his life trying to save everyone from the Evil Queen. His life didn’t matter. Only Regina’s. Hell, not even Robin’s because it was all about Regina’s happiness.

And then Owen/Greg whose life was destroyed by her but we’re suppose to feel sorry for Regina because the Charmings plotted to give her what she deserved and she received a little justice from Greg. Yet she is allowed to throw Killian abandoning her to her victim back in his face without taking responsibility for what led to it in the first place! Amazing.

Again, Snow, because she’s vilified for Regina’s choices & even thanks Regina for it. She abused Henry yet he’s forced to tell her that “she isn’t a villain you’re my mom and I shouldn’t have gone for Emma” making himself the cause of everything. Emma is forced to thank Regina for torturing her. She makes it through the underworld without facing one person she killed.

This is because the show itself taught these people that Regina is to be pitied and everyone else vilified. Just see the whole Marian arc and the fact that Regina continues to blame Snow for everything in her life. Also, we see Regina getting awarded the “good” queen crown by her biggest victim.

May of her stans try to phrase this as “its about getting a second chance! Everyone deserves a second chance!” Never mind that Regina had many second chances including the time Snow locked her in the dungeon. She didn’t decide to stop killing until her choices were costing her the thing she wanted: Henry’s love.

Regrets and apologies aren’t needed if you’ve got a victim card

As mentioned above, Regina played the victim. The writing drummed up pity for Regina so most of her fans just nod along and say “poor Regina, everyone should be apologizing to her!” But that’s not how it works. It’s not how it should work. When you do something wrong, a good person shows regret and apologizes. You don’t see this from Regina. Oh sure she regrets her past but has anyone noticed that it is only in correlation with her happy ending? She doesn’t care about the lives she destroyed. She cares that it cost her her happy ending.

Regina teaches us that you can be called a hero and not regret destroying the lives of so many. She even proclaims at one point that she hates doing good. True change comes from the heart. Which means her whole journey as a hero has been for her own selfish gain: to get her happy ending.

Wish Hook didn’t have to apologize for trying to kill Killian & steal his happy ending as soon as he fabricated a sob story about finding a daughter he... misplaced? I mean I don’t know how you forget where a tower is but OK. I guess his stolen youthful appearance helped. He was just handed his life back. This wouldn’t have been so bad if there’d been a sense that he was really going to change and made a self-sacrifice but alas we get nothing.

Abuse & rape are okay if you’re pursuing your happy ending

Don’t believe me? Regina never paid for a single crime. She did not make one self-sacrifice that came from the heart. And she was handed her entire life back after she sent children to the blind witch to be eaten, committed genocide, raped a man for 28 years, destroyed Emma’s life and abused Henry.

Likewise, Rumple was able to get his happy ending in the end without truly becoming a better man. His relationship with Belle is an example of domestic abuse. He used her life as a chess piece for his own happiness. He emotionally abused her, manipulated her and even assaulted her. But as usual, the show did not address the obvious sexual assaults on Belle perpetrated by her husband.

While Zelena at least spends a little time behind bars for her crimes, she still gets away with rape and murder and in the end is rewarded with what she wanted: her daughter. She doesn’t express regret over any of it either. Just like Regina.

There’s also an issue with Neal who got an underaged Emma pregnant, left her to take the fall for his crime and then when it was convenient for him he arrogantly assumes she will take him back because he fathered her child. The fact that Emma repeatedly rejects him is such a good thing but then the show makes one fatal flaw. They deem a hero for bringing back his backstabbing father and then have the audacity of having Emma’s parents name her baby brother after her abuser. And Emma seems happy about it.

And as mentioned above, Wish Hook’s plot to murder Killian and take his place is overlooked and he is treated to a happy reunion with the daughter that he abandoned. Newsflash: if he’d succeeded & had had sex Emma that would’ve been sexual assault.

Victims should thank their abusers for teaching them about themselves

Regina never apologized but all of her victims sure apologized to her!

Emma was forced to thank Regina for torturing her when Regina killed WishSnowing. As if that was the only way to do it. And how often have we heard “heroes always find another way!” Just something else that doesn’t apply to Regina.

Wish Realm episode: Emma thanks Regina for orphaning her because apparently unless one faces adversity you’re just a weakling who kind of sucks?

At the beginning of Season 5 Regina steals Emma’s agency then controls her with the dagger. This hurts Emma. Emma tells her. But then ends up thanking Regina for doing it. Amazing.

Snow thanks Regina for killing her father, stealing her throne and trying to kill her because this taught her how to have hope. Disgusting. What Regina did wasn’t a good thing. Snow might have learned something from it but thanking Regina for her evilness isn’t doing anyone any good. Regina still couldn’t spit out a decent “I’m sorry” and even if she did so what? She’d split herself in two and magically drained some of the evil out of her at this point. It wouldn’t have been an apology that had come from a true place of regret and change. Magic brought it out. I’d be more impressed if this happened back in S4.

Emma was forced to grovel to Regina over saving a woman’s life. Emma trying to befriend Regina during this was irresponsible writing. Victims should not be groveling at the feet of their abusers. If any character in this show should have been begging for forgiveness and offering friendship it was Regina. But oh no. Regina is elevated to victim status over killing Robin’s wife while Emma is made a villain for saving her. Can we see how this is problematic?

Henry was forced to thank Regina for abusing him. “If I had never gone to get Emma, if I just lived under the curse with you, none of this would have ever happened. I thought I was alone. I-I thought you didn't love me. But I was wrong.“ - I mean I guess it would be OK for Regina to keep Henry and everyone stay cursed? I mean to hell with everyone else as long as Regina gets what she wants right? Whatever.

If your abuser says they want to change you must immediately forgive them and befriend them

OUAT sends the message that you MUST be friends with your abusers because they aren't responsible for their actions. They were forced to bring the woman who destroyed their lives into their family... despite her never apologizing & making them out as the villains.

If someone calls you an “idiot” you should accept it because that’s just who they are

Regina’s behavior is excused because the other characters never call her on it. This has led fans to this kind of thinking:

“She’s the EQ not the friendly queen”.

So If someone calls you an “idiot” it doesn’t matter b/c that’s “just who they are” & you should accept their treatment as the heroes accepted Regina’s?

Congrats OUAT you’ve normalized bullying.

Did I miss any negative lessons?

Leave a comment!

#anti once upon a time #anti regina mills #anti rumbelle #anti swanqueen #anti rumplestiltskin #anti neal cassidy #anti swan fire #anti wish hook #regina mills is an abuser

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rattycattyfanfic · 5 years ago

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stroke by stroke

Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Regina/Emma, Alice/Robyn, Regina & Henry, Regina & Zelena Genre: Family/Fluff Rated: T Words: 2,255

Once upon a time, Regina paints.

5 times Regina struggles with her secret penchant for creativity + 1 time she finds her muse.

Read on AO3

this grew out of the plot in the regina rising book, where regina takes art classes for a bit. if you haven't read it, it's not crucial for this, just the inspiration. purely wrote this because art school has been kicking my butt recently and i must live everything through the cathartic distance of fictional characters. enjoy!

warnings: suggestions of childhood abuse, swearing, bit of brief alcohol use.

Once upon a time, Regina paints.

She’s not good, not by a long shot, but she loves it all the same. Loves to paint the horses, the tall, breathing trees and the horizon with its promise of freedom always just out of reach. The thick oils feel luxurious in an unfamiliar way, a far cry from the extravagance of corsets and jewels and feasts. They feel sumptuous, soulful, vibrant as she lays down rich colour, and she delights in it, escapes into the stables through her mind every time she picks up the paintbrush.

Her tutor, Jasper, is handsome and smiles when she masters a new technique or finishes a work, and Regina blushes all the way down to her toes. And therein lies the problem; because mother rarely allows her daughter the distraction of hobbies, let alone friends or boys not specifically approved by her, and she’s eagle-eyed looking for any excuse to put a stop to this. The excuse comes in the form of Jasper hovering at her shoulder, guiding her hand gently and his breath in her ear, and that’s that.

Jasper is ordered to leave, banned from the estate, and mother gets her digs in about Regina's poor painting skill, and the pressure to find an eligible prince to wed heats up. She no longer has time for frivolities between other lessons and dances and tea with suitors, so she gives it up.

When Henry is little, he’s a prolific little artist. He scribbles and scribbles as she works at her desk, and they’re the most beautiful thing Regina’s ever seen. She laughs and kisses his cheek as he proudly holds up his latest masterpiece, and gently takes it from him and puts it up on the fridge with the other favourites, cooing praise all the while.

She remembers, sometimes, well, we can’t all be good at everything, Regina, and feels her stomach twist in humiliation even years later, and promises herself this is another way she will never allow herself to be like her mother.

Seemingly chaotic spirals of waxy colour become slightly messy colouring book pages – delightfully disordered as Henry colours inside the lines as best he can but takes creative liberties: blue Spiderman, green sky, pink dog, all boldly unapologetic like happy children are. “Mommy, help,” he pipes up one day during one of their Saturday Granny's breakfasts, and spreads out his crayons across the table and Regina freezes for a half-second before picking up the red.

She puts the new art up on the fridge with alphabet magnets and puts the old ones carefully into a box. Later, she’s grateful she had the foresight to save everything, because during that awful year she returns to it on the worst nights. After he finds out about the adoption in the worst way possible and gets stuck on fairy tales, Henry demands she takes everything off the fridge in a fit of anger and pre-teen embarrassment, and so those go in the box too. Between snarling fights with his birth mother and shaking panic, Regina spends all too much time gazing over those pages of childish shapes until her vision is swimming and all she can see is a garish blur.

•

They never pick up their comfortable colouring sessions after everything gets better again. Henry gets too old, too preoccupied with being a hero or the author or college or adventures, and Regina mourns it.

She fills her house with expensive paintings, artisanal prints of mythology, illustrations of plants in an attempt to fill the hole, make it warmer on those nights he’s gone. Her favourite is a huge horse painting that hangs above her fireplace and Regina imagines maybe she would have painted something similar if she’d been allowed the time, the encouragement to learn.

And once, in the Underworld after trying and failing to sleep curled up on one of the couches, she tries. The injured horse from earlier had stuck in her mind, had looked so much like her Rocinante but wasn’t, and the loft is dim, silent but for soft snores of Snow and Charming close by. Beyond a few minutes in the bathroom here and there it’s the closest to privacy Regina has had since they got here.

Enough for her to pick up a scrap of paper and pencil and hunch over the coffee table to draw. Regina tries to remember the arc of her steed’s neck, the angles of his muzzle, the soft fuzz at his chin, and sketches until her hand aches and her eyes grow tired.

It’s bad, but it’s not awful. She feels calmer, in the dark where no one can see her failure, mother long gone. She stares at the dark shapes meant to be his eyes, the glint and it’s off but she feels sixteen again, bringing the outside inside with her. And she feels tired, at last. Slowly, Regina lays back down under the soft blanket and allows herself this small ounce of serenity.

•

In Seattle, she is Roni and owns a bar and dresses in leather and old denim. She has pain – a failed adoption, an uncaring mother, an absent father, streetwise beyond her years and more loneliness than she knows what to do with, oh yes, she has pain. But the curse has taken away specific old agonies of forced marriage and murdered lovers and a mother who abuses and shames, and she might be relieved if only she knew that she’d forgotten anything.

Roni doesn’t remember never being enough in any way at all, being groomed for marriage and marriage only, denied the simple pleasures of hobbies or friends, and she’s something of a fixer-upper – handy enough to maintain the pub, physical and creative in a way Mayor Mills hadn’t ever been. Not to mention financially fucked. She can’t spare the cash for Regina’s extensive designer wardrobe even if she could stomach the idea of fast fashion.

So she does the next best thing – cuts up her tees, alters the fit with simple stitching, and one day when she has a spare few hours after a relatively slow shift, she picks up a set of cheap paints and goes to town on a jacket sitting in the back of her closet. After hours hunched over the jacket, a couple of cold beers, and a few loud spins of the Ramones, her mind is clear and her body pleasantly tired. The paint dries, and she marvels at her newly personalised jacket, adorned with tasteful flowers, unique to her, and for once, there’s no insecurity.

•

When Roni remembers and becomes Regina again, she admires the jacket hanging on the back of her door, trails her fingertips over the paint before finally slipping it on. Her cursed self had surprisingly done quite a good job and it’s hers and she won’t waste a perfectly comfortable jacket. (Zelena comments, one day, nudges her gently when she gets a closer look and sees the slight imperfections of a hand-paint job. “Never knew you had an artistic side, ‘Gina,” and Regina rolls her eyes and snaps a towel playfully after her, says “I don’t,” but has to hide her flushed cheeks.)

Robyn arrives in Seattle, tall and grown now, if a little rougher around the edges – her fault and in hindsight maybe the ticket to Amsterdam she hadn’t even run past Zelena had been a bad idea, much like the spellbook she’d passed on because we all experimented, Zelena. Robyn is brave and kind and funny, though, had never succumbed to the darkness or to vices like they both had even given the chance. She’s doing well, besides being, y’know, cursed, and some evenings, that bright-eyed, wild-haired girl Tilly – Alice – comes to visit and they exchange soft touches and warm smiles. (It reminds Regina painfully of a different blonde lost to her, and she turns her face down and pours out a shot.)

While Robyn dries glasses or wipes down the counter, Alice splits her time gazing at her girlfriend and hunching over a notebook, writing and doodling. Regina had seen over her shoulder once by accident, the pages and pages of loopy handwriting and beautiful drawings of stormy seas and far-off dream-realms (real, if only Alice would make the connection she’s so close to). And when Robyn gets off shift, they sit side by side and Alice explains each drawing with glinting eyes. “What about you? What do you dream about?” Alice asks, and so Robyn picks up a pencil and tentatively tries to illustrate a dreamt childhood filled with magic and mythical beasts.

(The curse breaks and for a short time, they all sit in Roni’s bar aware of what they mean to one another. Robyn smiles softly and says, “I remember when you and mom would colour with me, Aunt Regina,” and slides two pages across the bar counter towards the two witches. Regina’s mouth closes around a silent protest and she smiles too, exchanges a soft look with her sister, and grabs a purple pencil.)

•

The realms are united, and everyone is back together. Everything is good.

Regina sucks in a breath as she stands in one of the castle towers, looking over the kingdom. She still has her mansion, but occasionally, she likes to come up here and allow the treetops and winding rivers to clear her mind.

She sits down on a wooden stool near the window, brought up here especially for today. Actually, all of this had been acquired very discretely, just for her today. She could have summoned it, but she’s really trying to not use magic lazily these days and the ritual of gathering everything had been strangely soothing.

In front of her is a wooden easel and a small table laden with paints – oils, like she’d used as a girl, and fluffy brushes and spirit for rinsing. The blank canvas is terribly intimidating, but Regina keeps her breathing steady and reminds herself no one has to see if it turns out bad, this is just for her. To see if she can still, if it’s still as fun as she remembers. She picks up a brush and dips the tip in the pale blue and begins to work.

The time passes easily, and as the hours slip by the sky begins to turn pink, the sun warm and red and all the colours changing too fast to keep working. That’s about the time that the door creaks, and in comes Emma, a small quirk of a smile on her lips and blonde hair tumbling down her back. “How’s it going?” she murmurs, and Regina nods.

“I missed this,” she admits and surveys her work with her bottom lip between her teeth.

The blonde grins, and steps forward, her head tilted – “Can I see?”

Emma is tentative, always careful and considerate in these quiet moments despite her naturally chaotic state, and so Regina nods again, and breathes steadily. Arms wrap around her waist and a cheek rests on her shoulder as the blonde gazes at the painting, and for a long moment Regina is half-expecting disappointment or a stilted falsity.

Emma just makes this dragged out ohh sound though and tightens her embrace. “That’s really good, Regina, you never said you were good,” and Regina flushes deeply and shushes her, would maybe chuck something small and light at her if she wasn’t enjoying this hug so much.

“It’s just – practice,” Regina excuses, and lightly pushes away to spin and take Emma into her own arms, their eyes meeting. “But thank you.” She cups Emma’s jaw and brings her down to kiss her lightly, sweetly, awing all the while at how they finally got here. Her other hand trails down Emma’s cheek, and the woman feels slight wetness and whines, “Reg-ina.”

Regina smirks as Emma rubs at the smudge of wet emerald green on her cheek, only spreading it even more. “I’m so gonna get you for that,” the sheriff says with a childish grin and flicks a brush still covered in purple paint at her lover.

The paint splatters over Regina’s browbone and she gasps and then laughs, “Emma,” as she grabs ineffectually for the brush that Emma holds high above her head. Emma jumps back, bright laughter ringing against the stone walls, and her eyes are bright. Regina’s chest feels light looking at her, lunging for the brush again until she gives up and picks up a brush of her own. Emerald eyes widen and Emma murmurs a warning, backing up and still grinning until she hits the stone wall.

Regina closes in on her, presses against her, and then her sly smirk drops. Her hand closes around Emma’s wrist, pinning it as she leans in and brings their lips together tenderly. The kiss heats up, Emma moaning into her open mouth and flicking her tongue teasingly against red lips, and the brushes drop to the floor with a clatter.

And maybe they’ll regret this little paint fight when it comes time to clean up, but Regina thinks, this is what creativity, art is supposed to be like – serene solace, laughing with her lover over spilt paint, colouring with her son, drawing dreams with her family. They part, their breath huffing warm and unsteady, and she is contemplative, meeting Emma’s eyes and trailing her thumb over the woman’s plump lower lip. She’s beautiful, glowing in the soft sunset. Regina feels good and breathes into the space between them, “I think I know what I want to paint next.”

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wizardysseus · 6 years ago

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i know it’s been years and nobody cares anymore!!! but i still get mad when i remember how people said henry mills was ungrateful to regina. i’m as happy she got her redemption arc as the next person, but did henry not deserve??? to act out??? she raised him in a town where for years he was the only person who could age or think critically about his situation, and then she lied to him about it and did everything in her power (including blackmailing his therapist) to make him think he was crazy..... and the fact that the ouat fandom gave henry shit for it is fucking unbelievable

#thoughts #nobody cares anna!!!

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eirian-houpe · 4 years ago

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The Pawn Shop On Main Street - Chapter 1

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Mad Hatter | Jefferson & Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold

Additional Tags: Cursed Storybrooke (Once Upon a Time), Angst, Romance, Eventual Smut, Will add more as apropriate

Summary: Gold is suddenly awakened from the curse, not by the fail-safe that he programmed into his mind, but by the unexpected presence of his long lost maid, with whom he fell in love well before Regina cast his Dark Curse, Rumplestiltskin must now find a way past Belle's disbelief and fear. She is still under the influence of the curse. With the help of his dear - his oldest - friend, Gold seeks a way past obstacles so that he can rekindle the love which he rejected back in the Dark Castle.

The story is set in the same 'verse as The Library Beneath the Clock Tower, and could be considered a sequel of sorts.

Chapter 1 - Old Friends

He felt drawn to her. He could not look away, his gaze transfixed as her eyes took in the fireworks bursting overhead. They paled by comparison. Nothing could compare.

…a brief flicker of light in an ocean of darkness.

The thought caught him off guard, as if he were standing on the edge of a fall, with a gust of wind buffeting him toward the edge. He felt suddenly thirsty - the earth waiting for the cloud above his head to burst like the sparkles and fizzles overhead.

All this time she had been right there, within reach, the meaning that had been missing for as long as he could remember - as long as he had been in Storybrooke. It made sense of everything he’d done, but at the same time made no sense at all.

Suddenly afraid, for no reason he could understand, he took a step closer, right behind her, caressing her fingers softly, before taking her hands, slowly, into his own. Their fingers entwined.

It flashed through him in a pulse; bright, vibrant, burning away the fog of years and realms.

She mocked him. Regina mocked him - how dare she, and yet, he had no energy, and even less will to react to her impudence.

“Is this about that girl I met on the road?” She laughed and stalked the room, her hips swaying in exaggerated sensuality. It reminded him of Cora, and that did little to change his mood… the reminder of other betrayals, other… abandonments. Regina glanced his way. “What was her name? Margie? Verna?

Rumplestiltskin barely breathed her name. “Belle.”

Suddenly business-like, this evil queen he had created, said matter-of-fact as she fixed herself some tea - uninvited, “Right. Well... you can rest assured I had nothing to do with that tragedy.”

He stopped idly spinning the wheel and turned to walk toward her, all but willing pox into the cup she was stirring, “What… tragedy?”

“You don't know?” Regina asked as though scandalized, then chuckled as she cleaned the spoon with her mouth and set it down. “Well, After she got home… her fiancé had gone missing.” He feigned innocence, but Regina knew. Her expression told him so. She took only a few steps away before turning around. “And after her stay here, her… association… with you, no one would want her, of course. Her father shunned her, cut her off, shut her out.”

Hope flared in his heart, and in an unguarded moment, he let the words slip from deep within that hope. “So she needs… a home?”

Regina laughed cruelly, though whether at what had happened, or at him for his weakness he was uncertain, then went on, “He was cruel to her. He locked her in a tower and sent in clerics to cleanse her soul with scourges and flaying. After a while, she threw herself off the tower. She died.”

She spoke the last two words with such careless triumph that the urge to throttle the life from the conniving bitch almost choked him… murdered his hope.

“You're lying,” he growled.

“Am I?” she countered, leaving him cold and dead inside.

He wanted to be angry now, to rail against the lies Regina had told him, blatant fabrications, right to his face, and yet… Here was his light. Hale, whole and…

“You’re real,” he breathed. “You’re alive!”

He moved closer yet, moving his fingers again in a soft, quiet caress. The curse was lifted, he remembered. Everything, and oh, how beastly he had been when they had last seen one another. When he had sent her away.

”I’m not a coward, dearie. It’s quite simple really… my power… means more to me than you.”

She pulled herself up to her full, diminutive height, and looked him full in the face. “No. No, it doesn't. You just don't think I can love you. Now, you've made your choice. And you're going to regret it.”

His heart broke as her voice quivered - a roar of pain that almost drowned out her following word, “Forever.”

He curled his hands into fists. His hard, pointed talons left wheal marks in his palms, but he couldn’t allow her to see how much her words affected him.

“And all you'll have... is an empty heart,” her voice broke, and she forced herself to go on, “and a chipped cup.”

Her eyes were filled with tears, but she held his gaze, and he had to push his own rising tears deep inside lest he belie his words. Not until she had turned, and walked away, out of the cell, and out of his life… forever… and he could no longer see or hear her, did he move - and then only to close his eyes.

Was she feeling this too? Did she remember? A part of him hoped not; hoped that fate had delivered him a way to right the wrongs of his past; to woo her, to love her as she deserved to be loved, and yet, the Dark One knew that ‘loopholes’ was another word for lies. Gold wanted no more lies.

For a moment, one sweet, sharp moment she leaned against him, tightened her fingers around his, and he knew… he knew without any doubt that she remembered. At least in that moment, she remembered.

“Belle,” he whispered.

Then, like the icy fall of rain that dampened even the hottest fire, she snatched her hands from his, and he was suddenly frozen, bereft. Helpless to do anything other that watch with mounting fear as she turned to face him; tried with all his heart to let her see that she had been right all along - that she had the measure of him, and not only that - but now, in the face of seeing her again, though he wanted nothing more than to reach out and draw her into his arms, hold her forever - protected, loved - he was still a coward.

“Belle,” he whispered again, reaching too late to catch her as she picked up her skirts and fled. He cried out for her, as he should have done then, in the Dark Castle - called her back, “Belle!”

His cry was echoed a moment later and he registered a familiar voice behind the calling. His friend, Jefferson. A Storybrooke friend, yes, but the Dark One’s only friend through all the ages. How could he not have known?

He stared. He stared after Belle, who stopped at neither of their calling, and he stared toward Jefferson, meeting the horrified expression that mirrored his own.

The Hatter seemed torn, glanced away as if to find Belle in the crowd, but ultimately turned his steps and hurried to Gold’s side.

"You knew!" Gold almost sobbed, and reaching out, grabbed Jefferson by the lapels of his flamboyant, silk tailcoat and pulled him closer, almost shaking the man. "How could you know… know me and yet say nothing?"

Jefferson’s long fingers closed around his wrists, not to prevent, but to anchor, as if the Portal Jumper feared to let go and needed to hold him close as he spoke.

"The man you are here and I said that?" Jefferson said, pained, and only then Gold saw the tears that were gathered in the other man’s blue eyes. "How could I, and not have you cast me away?"

For all that he saw, for all that he felt, still Gold gave vent to his own pain. "But you were my… we were friends!"

Instead of words, Jefferson answered with cry, almost of anguish, and suddenly releasing his wrists, clutched Gold close.

"We are friends," he sobbed, clinging tightly. "We are!"

At first, startled, Gold struggled, tried to push Jefferson away, but as the present melted away leaving just the two of them alone on the rise above where the other revelers were lost in their drunken celebrations of the night, Gold… Rumplestiltskin missed his friend, and already held tightly in Jefferson’s embrace, pulled the man closer still, and held him through the maelstrom of all that he was - pawnbroker, landlord, deal maker, sorcerer, master, Dark One, killer, father, husband, lover… coward - all of it, every little piece of him returning in a rush, he clung to Jefferson like a man drowning.

Eventually, both spent, they each slumped, exhausted to the ground, mute and panting for breath, though as he looked across at Jefferson, Rumplestiltskin saw that silent tears still ran down Jefferson’s face. Intuitively he knew the cause.

“I didn’t know,” he said, and Jefferson raised his face to look at him, incomprehension in his wet and shining eyes. “Grace,” Gold offered. “I didn’t know what Regina planned.”

“I know,” Jefferson whispered, before finding his voice. “I have always known it was her doing, and hers alone.” He reached out for Gold’s hand, and he took it without hesitation, listening as Jefferson continued. “For all that we didn’t see things the same way much of the time; for all that we fought, I knew and never once doubted that you’d ever do something like that to another man, another father. I saw what you did for Baelfire and—”

“Bae,” Gold interrupted. His voice hoarse and rasping. He felt Jefferson’s fingers tighten around his own, and he took a breath. “If I had the power,” he said, “to undo what she did.”

“No!” Jefferson sounded alarmed, almost terrified, then went on more calmly, “No. Not until we can be together. Not until I can be sure she won’t hate me for abandoning her. She can’t know.” His voice cracked as he went on. “Cloe’s her mother here. She knows nothing about a foolish man who made a promise and then broke it; who abandoned her to ignominy and hardship.”

“Jefferson…”

The other man blanched, and releasing his grip on Gold held up both hands in surrender, as if he thought he’d just delivered some kind of terrible insult.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Gold murmured quietly.

“Then whose?” Jefferson shook his head; argued. “I can recite a whole litany of ‘if I hadn’ts’ going all the way back to before we first met. Who else’s fault can it be?”

Gold fixed him with a level, uncompromising look.

“No,” Jefferson said firmly. “You are not responsible for all the ills of every realm.”

Gold was silent for a long time. He knew Jefferson well enough to understand that when he had his mind fixed on something - especially something self-deprecating - there could be no moving him; not until he saw the truth of it for himself.

Both men sighed, almost at the same time, and that made Gold chuckle just a little, with a good deal of his own self-deprecation, before he said, “And that… that, my good man, is why you are the Dark One’s only true friend.”

Jefferson let out another sigh, then offered Gold a smile through half-pursed lips, and then started to push himself up off the ground where they had both fallen.

“I’ll find her,” he promised softly. “Make sure she’s safe and gets home all right. We can fix this. We’ll find a way.”

“Ever the optimist, Jefferson.”

“Hardly,” the Hatter said dryly, before turning, ready to begin his descent from the hill. He stopped after just a few steps, and turned back. “Rumplestiltskin?”

Gold looked up, his head tipped to one side. “Hmm?”

“How long?”

Gold looked skyward, as if the position of the stars could give him the answer to Jefferson’s question, and they might well have - had time not been motionless in Storybrooke these past… He shook his head. He knew the answer. It was written into the fabric of the Dark Curse, into the single drop of ‘True Love’ he had dripped onto the parchment; The single drop that would herald the arrival of The Savior.

“Twenty-eight years,” he answered quietly. “Twenty-eight years.”

#rumbelle #cursed storybrooke #angst #romance #eventual smut #the pawn shop on main street #the library beneath the clock tower #i will always write jefferson

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pepperony3000-archive · 6 years ago

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Ayyy, Once Upon a Time. Let's do a throwback, lol.

Oh wow! That’s such a throwback! xD

You’re trying to make me nostalgic and annoyed all at once, aren’t you? ;)

my favorite female character: Regina Mills. Literally the only reason I didn’t unfollow every single OUAT blog I used to follow. Lana Parrilla is a goddess among women, and she plays Regina so beautifully. Plus, Regina in season 1 was the second best written character (which is saying a lot because they were all actually written quite well in season 1), and the only one with semi-consistent writing in the following six years of bullshit.

my favorite male character: Nealfire. Fuck the show for killing him off just to appease the rape-culture-apologist CS shippers. Nealfire was literally the most important character, and had so many potential stories and dynamics with him being Henry’s father and Rumple’s son. But ya know... Emma couldn’t date Captain Rape Culture when her obvious true love was still around, so he had to be killed off because whiny idiotic teenagers thought he was ugly. I’m still bitter.

my favorite book/season/etc: Season 1: the only good season. I also quite liked Regina’s arc in season 2.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Skin Deep will go down as my favorite OUAT episode I think. It’s the episode that actually made me truly fall in love with the show (as opposed to just being a casual watcher).

my favorite cast member: Lana Parrilla. She’s so beautiful and such an incredible actress and such a sweet and funny person and I love her.

my favorite ship: Swanfire. They really were perfect together. They were two lost souls who found each other, and they kept on finding each other even when tragedy (and fucking awful writing) kept on pulling them apart. Honestly? Swanfire mirrored Snowing’s “I will always find you” more than the rape-culture ship ever did.

a character I’d die defending: Nealfire. He was done so dirty by the writing and the fandom, just because people decided that MRJ was ugly! And I really absolutely hate everybody for that.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Captain Rape Culture. Oh sorry... wasn’t his name something like Jonesin’ for a Kill? Oh wait, Killian Jones. Sorry... easy mistake to make.Now this is NOTHING against Colin O’Donaghue, who I really love as an actor. This is 100% about that awfully written (albeit well performed) overhyped overloved and overly awful character. I could write pages about how much I hate him and how badly written he is and how he ruined the show, but I mean... I’ve already salted these fields quite a lot.

a character I grew to love: Charming. Honestly I did love him in the pilot episode because who DOESN’T love a man who will swordfight a dozen men whilst holding a baby? But then I just found him... a bit boring during most of season 1. But he’s genuinely such a sweet and wonderful person, and I really love him.

my anti otp: Captain Rape Culture and Stepford Swan. The literal worst ship in anything ever. Nothing brings about such intense hatred in me than this ship. They literally were only a couple because both actors are hot, even though they have literally ZERO chemistry, he made a horrible rape joke while pinning her to the ground and trying to stab her, called her useless, constantly lied to her... I could go on.And honestly? It’s IMPRESSIVE that this is the ship they went with, since Colin O’Donaghue managed to have AMAZING chemistry with literally everything and everybody he interacted with EXCEPT for JMo, and while I don’t think JMo is a very good actress in the first place... she had better chemistry with a BUNCH of other people. Hell... she had better chemistry with CHARMING than with Captain Rape Culture!I literally hate this ship so much.

No, I’m not at all salty about this show. What on earth made you think that.

Send me a show/movie/fandom

#atheistj #Ask me a question

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sulietsexual · 7 years ago

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Its been a while since I asked you meta related things so I just had a random idea - top 5 characters which you just dont understand, top 5 ch which are well writen but you cant connect or like, top 5 ch storylines you would like to alter, top 5 traits of your disliked chracters that you like, top 5 traits of your loved characters you dislike, top 5 ways your disliked characters contributed to the main storyline that youre fine with. For males and females separately so theres room for thought :)

Top 5 Characters I Don’t Understand

Male

Wesley Wyndam Pryce - okay, so this is only from mid-Season 3 onward, but I cannot fathom Wesley’s actions in stealing Connor, consulting with Holtz and doubting/not believing in Angel to the point where he didn’t realise that Angel would do everything in his power to protect Connor. Then his self-righteous attitude post-kidnap is appalling, the fact that he acts like the wronged party and refuses to acknowledge his own wrongdoings and never apologises for his actions all drive me crazy. Just can’t.

Luke Danes, I mean, buddy, pull it together. You say you want Lorelai, yet never make a move and then bitch about her boyfriends and act like a jerk. You say you’re “all in” and then you run at the first sign of trouble and make Lorelai feel like she did something wrong. You tell Lorelai you want her to be honest with you and then you hide your daughter from her for two freakin’ months. You say you want to spend your life with her, yet you shut her out of it. Like, wtf??

Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, omg, why is he such an abusive asshole? Why does he treat every woman he’s with like crap? Why does he treat Mellie as if she’s insignificant and stupid? Why does he act entitled to everyone’s time and affections? Why does he continually try to give up the most powerful position in America? Why doesn’t he have any ambition? Why does he resent anyone who does??? I don’t understand.

John Winchester. Dude’s always going on about how he “did the best that he could”. Nope. The best he could would have been to raise his boys in a stable freakin’ environment, not push adult responsibility onto his eldest, not treat his youngest like an outcast/freak for wanting a better life and actually being an adult and being there for his boys. How does he justify the way he treated his sons? Don’t get it.

Finn Collins. Dude, you cheat on your girlfriend, neglect to tell the girl you’re cheating with that you even have a girlfriend, don’t tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and expect both girls to still want you? Plus the whole massacring eighteen unarmed people and then ignoring their bodies as the girl you want walks in horrified and look at her as if she’ll love you for your actions? Yikes.

Female

Lorelai Gilmore, she constantly puts her mother down for her privilege and sense of entitlement, yet displays the exact same behaviour. She rejected Chris, then bitches about how he “wasn’t ready”. She thinks all her behaviour is cute but it’s actually really annoying. And she honestly seems to believe that her parents were the absolute worst parents in the world, when it reality they were really good to her and always try to be a part of her life. Pull it together, woman!

Octavia Blake, why does she blame her brother for everything? Why is her solution always violence? Why does she proudly cannibalize people? Why does she think she knows more about a culture she’s been a part of for two seconds than the people actually raised in said culture?

Nancy Wheeler. Why does she want Jonathan so badly? Why does she screw over Steve? What makes her neglect her brother and run off with the guy she just banged? Why doesn’t she think through the consequences of her actions? Why did she offer her brother zero comfort when his friend “died”? What made her think it was okay to chase down Jonathan while he was picking out a coffin for his brother’s funeral to talk about Barb? Girl drives me bonkers.

Joey Potter, so many of her actions make no sense. She pines after Dawson for years and then breaks up with him for literally no reason. She blames him for telling her the truth about her father, after repeatedly saying they need to be honest with one another. She can’t decide between two guys for years. She constantly rejects Pacey yet picks him in the end. She believes she’s entitled to be a bitch to people just because she’s had a tough life.

Aria Montgomery, if your creepy-ass relationship really so important to you that you would lie to your friends and family, threaten your parents, risk your partner going to jail, threaten to walk out on your family and basically cease to exist outside of your boyfriend? Yikes.

Going to put the rest under the cut, otherwise we’re going to end up with a post a mile long.

Top 5 Characters Who Are Well-writen But I Can’t Connect To or Like

Male

John Locke, a great-written character who drives me up the wall with his over-zealousness and delusions of grandeur.

Spike, he really does have a great character arc and characterisation but his over-exposure and the fandom’s adulation of him drive me crazy, plus I hate how his narrative overtakes Buffy’s.

Jack Shepherd, such a great arc, such an amazing journey but his douchey behaviour and the way he treats certain characters means I just can’t like him.

Perry Cox, I find him amusing and do occasionally like him but his lack of self-awareness and overall mean attitude and sexism bugs me.

Dean Winchester, so well-written with a great arc but also abusive, violent, self-righteous, sexist and overall annoying as hell.

Female

Regina Mills, her redemption arc is sloppy but her characterisation was always strong and she’s a fantastic villain, which is why I love to hate her.

Robin Scherbatsky, very well-written with a great arc (until the finale) but I just cannot like her, probably due to her arrogance and meanness.

Rachel Green, now, I don’t hate Rachel or anything but she’s one of my least-favourite Friends characters and I’ve never been able to connect with her.

Katniss Everdeen, a great-written character whose personality I find very hard to reconcile and who I just cannot connect with.

Kate Austin, great arc, great characterisation, full of traits I can’t stand and makes choices that make me want to throttle her.

Top 5 Characters Storylines I Would Like To Alter

Male

Neal Cassidy, he was done so dirty by that damn show!

August Booth, another one screwed over by OUAT and there was so much left to explore with his character!

Dean Forrester, I really hate how much Gilmore Girls dumbled down and assassinated his character.

Boyd Langton, Dollhouse’s weird out-of-nowhere reveal that he was the bad guy completely changed his character and he didn’t deserve that.

Jake Ballard, he deserves better than being second-choice for Olivia Pope.

Female

Laurel Lance, who deserved the fucking world and got nothing, I would change so much about her storyline and eventual fate.

Mellie Grant who, like Laurel, deserved so much and got shit.

Emma Swan, who was character assassinated in order to box her into a toxic ship which decimated everything about her.

Juliet Burke, who should have lived and had a happy life and finally made it off that damn Island!

Effy Stonem, who deserved better than to be sandwiched between two guys who treated her like a prize and blamed her for their rivalry, not to mention the shitty “friends” who used her as their scapegoat.

Top 5 Traits Of My Disliked Characters That I Like (I’m not going to pick my absolute most disliked characters for this, but just 5 characters I dislike in general. Also, probably can’t come up with five for each, so I’ll go with as many as I can list).

Male

Going with Wesley again - love his intelligence, his surprising confidence when he allows himself to show it, his thirst for knowledge and his goofiness.

Spike - I like his bravado, his confidence and his loyalty.

Dean Winchester - similarly to Spike, his bravado, his loyalty and his confidence, as well as his humour and love of fun.

Luke Danes - I like that he’s good at the big gestures, I like his snark and his homebody nature.

Jess Mariano - I like intelligence, his snark and the fact that he sorts himself out later on in life.

Female

Anya Jenkins - love her work ethic and the fact that she handles money well and knows how to budget, save and invest.

Betty Cooper - she’s got gumption, I’ll give her that and she is intelligent and hardworking.

Felicity Smoak - like Betty, she’s intelligent and has gumption.

Cassie from the Animorphs series - she’s compassionate and does try to understand people, which I like.She also has a lot of empathy.

Alison DiLaurentis - she is ruthless and strategic and highly intelligent, all of which I admire, even if her actions are truly sociopathic.

Top 5 Traits Of My Loved Characters I Dislike (again, this may not reach five but I’ll do my best)

Male

Angel - his tendency to make decisions for others, his jealousy, the way he can completely cut off those he cares about.

James Ford - the way he lets his self-hatred affect others, his self-centredness, the way he can be deliberately cruel at times.

August Booth - he lies way too much, his self-hatred, his selfishness.

Neal Cassidy ………….. nope, I love Neal too much, can’t think of any traits I dislike.

Charles Gunn - the way he diminishes himself for others.

Female

Prue Halliwell - that damn pride, her self-righteousness, her judgmental streak.

Juliet Burke ……………. nope, as with Neal, love her way too much to dislike anything about her.

Lana Lang - her Mary Sue traits (this lies more on the writing of her character than her), her tendency to project her own feelings onto others.

Lilah Morgan - well, she’s an evil bitch, but you’re supposed to hate her for that, so I more hate her actions than her herself, such as when she gives Cordy the visions which almost kill her or when she sends people to drill into Lorn’s head.

Jo March - her lack of propriety at times, her judgemental streak, her refusal to adhere to convention (at times)

Top 5 Ways My Disliked Characters Contributed To The Main Storyline That I’m Fine With (I am running out of steam and not sure if I can come up with 5 males and 5 females, so gonna combine them for this last one and again might not make it to Top 5)

Alison DiLaurentis - I like her as a villain, her murder kicks off the whole series which worked well, and I liked that she works as a foil for all the girls, in particular Hanna and Mona.

Spike - love him as a villain in Season 2, love that he works as a foil for Angel in AtS Season 5, liked him stirring things up in Lovers Walk in Season 3.

Regina Mills - love her as a villain, love her as the Curse Caster, liked her dynamic with Emma, liked her as a foil for Snow and Emma.

……. I actually might be out, as usually when I hate a character it’s because of the way in which they negatively impact the storyline.

Whew, I’m knackered. Hope you enjoy my answers, even if they’re not 100% what you asked for!

#psychoticdelena #answered

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