#when the pills wear off
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Father forgive me for what I have done Drove 200 miles for six inches of love And he shined like the neon in the town’s only bar Slick as the needle and slim as the scar
I lost friends to heroin, plenty more to lovin’ them Strung out on the highway like we couldn’t read the signs Now that I am older and burn a little colder I know how to read between the lines But the only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off And what I called a love affair They say was a death of despair They say I’ll get over him I just need time I think Jesus sent an angel, stuck needles in his thigh And the old freight trains, they whistle and whine They shake the whole damn house, like we did when he was alive I lost friends to heroin, plenty more to lovin’ them Strung out on the highway like we couldn’t read the signs Now that I am older and burn a little colder I know how to read between the lines But the only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off Mother don’t ask me the things I have done It’s selfish to fall for yourself in someone I know that I want him and always will I don’t think he could have known that it was fentanyl But the only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off And what I called a love affair They say was a death of despair The only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off
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Every time Prapai gives Sky medicine, he's narcoleptic inside 5 minutes.
#fun story: in 2018 we went to interview ex-president jimmy carter#and I had a bit of an odd feeling in my throat#august 24 2018 i remember that date well#because that was the first signs of an illness that annihilated me#i blacked out for most of the month of september- i only have very sparse memories#i had a strange kind of pneumonia the doctor hadn't seen before#and over those 6-7 months they threw every single anti-anything they could at me#IDK if I slept so well because of the knockout effects of all the antibiotics and antivirals#or because I had a recurring fever and a chronic brutal cough for 6-7 months and was terribly weak by the end#but i was sleeping so deeply the more pills they added#and now i know i can function with a 102 fever on and off for months on end#everyone- family and coworkers- also made fun of me for insisting on wearing a mask but guess what bitches#when the pandemic rolled around i still had 2 unopened boxes from being sick a year before and those were worth more than toilet paper#lita#love in the air#prapai#sky#prapaisky#true facts: I don't remember writing one of my own fics#it was during the blackout month and i refuse to read it because i think it's funnier that i don't know what it's about#i also had to work- it was one of our biggest events that we do every 4 years#two weeks straight of 14 hour days with no weekends#and i was there every single day#i have no memory whatsoever and when we did the event again in 2022 the organizers kept saying 'oh wow you're alive!'#i like to say i had the BEST time because it's a tedious af event and everyone is surly by the end#but from MY pov i was trapped in dense fog and couldn't breathe; trapped in that twilight feeling when you're neither awake nor unconscious#and then when it passed I had a nice paycheck in my account without any of the mental strain of working for it#watch
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unfortunately i do have to build myself up from 0. i exceeded how long i thought id be alive for by a lot. i will not kill myself for at least another 5 years bc i want to honor the pact i made with myself. whats behind all the disorders? id like to know. think about careers and work towards them. stick to my practice. maybe not fully fuck up this body. find out what i like, what i love, what im excited and passionate for. respect my limits etc
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after i got diagnosed, i started lurking a bit in the r/lupus subreddit. not super often, just peaking in to get a feel for what advice people give each other. and i'd kinda kept myself from freaking out too bad about things. cuz sure i'm gonna have to take meds for the rest of my life, but at least i'm not one of those poor guys who have to go on an immune system suppressant and have to figure out how to navigate a world where people don't give a shit about spreading illnesses while being unable to get the full benefits of vaccination.
ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa. fuck. i am poor guys now.
#this sounds vain but i think the thing i'm most worried about is my hair falling out#from what i can tell i'm on a fairly low dose. but it still can cause increased hair loss. which is upsetting#i've always had trouble with catching every illness around me so that's nothing new. i wear a mask and wash my hands and do my best#but like. this is it. i'm like Sick sick. and i might lose my hair#i knew that was gonna be a risk for me at some point. baldness runs in my family and the moment i start hrt its gonna hit me too#but i'm not ready for that. not yet anyway#i'm trying really hard not to freak out. cuz when i got home from the doc and told my gf i'm gonna be on more pills it scared her#so i'm trying to be brave and i'm trying to be calm#especially since stress sets things off worse#but i don't wanna lose my hair. i've already gotten kinda used to being sick easier than other people#but now its even More easily than other people. AND i might lose my hair
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being an adult SUCKS i’m naked standing here in the kitchen searching ‘soup how to’ bc i forgot my towel in the clean laundry bag on other side of the flat
#stream#miserable !!!!#delaying the shower therefore i’m going to eat and then create a SCHEDULE whereby i will SHOWER …. THEN GO STRAIGHT TO BED#eventually i will incorporate idk a skincare routine at some point#‘skincare routine’ re: putting lotion on before bed#need a new morning routine bc it’s just ‘scramble to take pills if need to shit immediately then make coffee chug it then shit then recover#from the shitting’ but also getting high is definitely in there before shitting but i thought that was implied#by me waking up#OR it’s me ‘making coffee then taking the meds w the coffee if i don’t need to squart immediately’#congrats: u now know how to kill me; when i’m weakest !!! in the morning & wanting to DIE#actually my True Weakest is post shit where i’m like the withered gary the snail meme#me leaving the bathroom ravaged by war & experiencing shellshock#bc before then is I’m Going to Kill U For Impacting my Schedule#& at Night i’m at my Peak Form when things (my medication) are wearing off & i’ve gotten increasingly more & more high where i’m#particularly jumpy
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sometimes my boobs hurt so much i think they're gonna bleed surely this is normal right
#i think im pmsing.. but im not sure#like the dates aligned but also they've been super irregular hence the whole pcod etc#like im already wearing a size 38 bra because of all this fucking weight gain#and even that feels tight?? like the next size available was free size😭😭#but like it feels normal good even everyday just from the past two days it's been hurting like hell#and fucking worst festivsl of the year so i can't even stay in my room bra off all day#but oh god why do they pain so much it's never been like this before ive been having periods since i was 11 and im 21 now#maybe another pcod uhh idk side effect? symptom? whatever it's called#and i definitely have that pms wali feeling#i mean i haven't broken down yet but#you know that feeling when you WANT something but you don't know what and you try everything but nothing works#like i ate pasta i ate ice cream i studied and accomplished my targets i slept a lot i watched comfort show#i even washed my hair and danced to so many songs today morning while booping#but then it keeps crashing#and it's not enough#don't ask me what's it because even i do not know#i think i want. a hug. i guess#but from my bestfriend#because me and my sister keep fighting and i don't think she's really understanding me rn#but i think she's (bsf) avoiding talking to me because she's getting back together with her shitty boyfriend#i want to call and whine and say fuck that i don't care just talk to me but#i can't#the thought of asking for help needing people is. wow it's genuinely making me puke#i hate hate HATE being pathetic and needy#sometimes i wish#i mean obviously i would prefer it if i was perfectly healthy qnd normal and fine#but sometimes i wish someone just looked at me and said#oh honey how are you carrying so much sadness inside you and hiding it so well?? how are you even functioning???? how are you not#on the floor wailing and crying and unable to get up?#like you need [insert idk pills or whatever the cure is] BADLY
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on one hand I am very glad that ketamine therapy has been helpful for my severe depression and anxiety and ptsd and whatever else is going on up there, and I’m grateful that it’s available to me as part of my treatment plan
on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of the payment for that help being a 50/50 chance every time of having a bad trip that unlocks some deep scary part of my psyche and then having to address all of that in therapy until the next trip
#starlight personal#ketamine has saved my life and also scares the fuck out of me tbh#like I went into this trip being all ‘love and kindness gotta be nice to myself’ and it went ‘yes BUT -‘#and shoved me off a cliff into years and years of repressed existential anxiety and reminded me that I’ve had that since I was Very Small#bro please I just want to not off myself I don’t need to be unpacking deep childhood trauma rn I’m trying to buy a house#how am I supposed to buy a house when I now have to grapple with Deep Pain being brought to light#I was going to talk about house anxiety in therapy this week but that has now been derailed for -#I Am Terrified of the Universe and Always Have Been and Do Not Know How to Cope With This When It’s Not Repressed#and I do truly believe if it came up in treatment that it means it’s time to deal with it and learn to handle it#but like…….. I would’ve liked to be asked#not just thrown into the scariest psychedelic trip of my life and then left to pick up the pieces#anyway this is all to say that I’m once again cursing my genetics for not letting SSRIs work and leaving me with psychedelic woo-woo shit#like what do you mean I can’t take a pill and ignore some of this deeper shit what do you MEAN I have to face it#ketamine is very I Will Shine a Light on the Things You Have Hidden Whether You like It Or Not For Your Own Good#thank you I guess but right now I’m a bit grumpy about it#on the brightside I am hopefully going to be less depressed for the next two months until it wears off again so we love that!!!#hahahaaaaaaaaaa it’s fine we’ll be fine this will be good for me in the long run#what’s peace like I wonder I’ve certainly never known it
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MOTHERFUCK i did not realize how much those antidepressants made me feel physically psychologically and dare i say spiritually like a peat mummy
literally 2 days off them and i've experienced more joy, lucidity, motivation and general good vibes than i did in the whole 2 months i was on them 😭😭
#now granted i did only sleep for 3 hours#but i felt more refreshed and energized today than i ever did when the pills forced me into 8 hours of pseudo-death a night#MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE IS BACK TO NEVER SHUTTING TF UP#it was practically bones for so long oml#i'm usually annoyingly verbose but i was only able to say like 5 words at a time before i forgot how to end my sentence#yeah i'm prolly gonna lose the rose tinted glasses in a few days when the novelty wears off but for now#it's so nice to feel like myself and not like a lobotomized skinwalker trying to wear my own mannerisms convincingly#(obvsly they help some ppl or they wouldn't be an option to prescribe but GOD they fit my brain chemistry as well as a fork fits an outlet)#<<<<<<I CAN DO THAT AGAIN!!! I MISSED MY STUPID METAPHORS AND MY BAD PUNS AND MY SLIGHTLY OUT OF POCKET JOKES#i was fucking trying but it fundamentally doesn't work if u Try#yoda moment but whatever#yippeee#god did they fucking '''cure''' my ADHD instead of my depression#ok if this is what some ppl's experience of ADHD meds is like then the 'they made me feel like a robot' thing makes a LOT more sense#personally they just make me feel like. yk that one comic abt ADHD with the dog metaphor#yeah amphetamines my beloved let me hold the leash rather than becoming a human dogsled to the whims of my psyche#actually i think i was rather uncharitable to my current dream mask normal pills#i just happened to get mega bitch burnout for 3 months and then spend 2 in the aforementioned peat bog where souls go to die#when not impeded by outside circumstances i think they actually are completely fine#maybe not QUITE as agressively effective as my previous prescription but the ritalin was str8 up harsh#i tried it again for a week and it made my heart beat like it was being powered by a caffienated hamster#but when i used to take it i was already experiencing Real paranoid gerbil anxiety so it just kinda blended in#i only noticed the Severe Health Issue i got bundled as a side effect#and i keep having to remind myself not to go rose-tinted abt how bad it rlly was in retrospect#do i just need to leave a sticky note on my mirror like 'hey dumbass that was NOT a net positive period of ur life'#lexi stfu challenge
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Feeling better but I still have the occasional light cough. Come Monday I'll ask my clinic how long I'll be contagious for, but until that time comes I'm languishing in my room under quarantine
#it's not covid#but it is pneumonia#I take my last anti cough pill in fifteen minutes#hope the symptoms don't come back when it wears off
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tylenol 3s make me feel horrible. why was my mom addicted to these
#you're telling me these are the pills she used to beg our doctor for when i was growing up???#i got them because i had all my wisdom teeth out. they just make me feel woozy so i nap until they wear off
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Father forgive me for what I have done Drove 200 miles for six inches of love And he shined like the neon in the town’s only bar Slick as the needle and slim as the scar I lost friends to heroin, plenty more to lovin’ them
Strung out on the highway like we couldn’t read the signs Now that I am older and burn a little colder I know how to read between the lines
But the only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off And what I called a love affair They say was a death of despair They say I’ll get over him I just need time
I think Jesus sent an angel, stuck needles in his thigh And the old freight trains, they whistle and whine They shake the whole damn house, like we did when he was alive I lost friends to heroin, plenty more to lovin’ them Strung out on the highway like we couldn’t read the signs Now that I am older and burn a little colder I know how to read between the lines
But the only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off And what I called a love affair They say was a death of despair Mother don’t ask me the things I have done It’s selfish to fall for yourself in someone I know that I want him and always will I don’t think he could have known that it was fentanyl
But the only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off And what I called a love affair They say was a death of despair The only time I get these guilty thoughts Is when the pills wear off
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⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. your boyfriend buys you a pretty golden necklace with his initials, not knowing it will only intensify the urge to claim you as his own in every way.
tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. smut, pwp. age gap (reader early 20’s, gojo early 30’s). possessive. talks of marriage. unprotected. breēding kink; crēampies. jealousy. pregnancy kink? reader gets called ‘baby, sweetheart, mama’ not proofread; excuse the grammar. wc: 1.7k
“look at that, baby,” satoru coos as he watches the golden necklace bounce around your collarbone with each wet thrust. it’s a 24k pure gold necklace he purchased just today, with his initials on it.
something inside him stirred the moment he put it on you. satoru couln’t help himself from pinning you to the couch and claiming you as his own for the nth time. it doesn’t matter how many times he fucks you; it’s never enough.
the letters ‘sg’ are shimmering under the light of the living room. the older man is grinning from ear to ear, nearly cumming from the sight of you wearing that necklace alone. it’s a sign of possession to him. you’re his—you’re only his. he’s the only one who can touch you like this.
“shit, ‘t makes me wanna put a ring on it,” satoru hisses, one of his hands pressing down on your lower tummy. you gasp and clutch at his broad back, nails digging into his flesh quite painfully. “i think i’d engrave my initials on the inside of the ring too, what do ya think?”
each word is punctuated with a thrust. his hips are non-stop ramming into yours, claiming even the deepest spots of your body beneath him. he leans down to trail kisses down your sensitive neck, eliciting a couple whines from your lips.
“d’y wanna get married, sweetheart?” the sudden proposal takes you off guard. you can’t believe satoru would ask such a thing while being balls deep inside you. you’re blabbering nonsense, your voice muffled due to the saliva building up in your mouth.
“m— married? babe, are you ser-” your question is left unanswered as your boyfriend kisses your plump lips. he switches to a slow and gentle pace, grinding into your needy cunt until it leaves you shaking. his fingers play with the golden jewelry around your neck.
a necklace will do. as long as you’ll wear that accessory from this day forward, he’ll be satisfied. the urge to make you his forever partner could be satiated. for now, that is. he knows you still have a bright future ahead of you, like getting your degree and first ever proper job.
“let’s have you finish university first, yeah?” satoru smiles down at you after detaching his lips from yours. he watches the string of saliva hang between your mouths, giving a short hum once it snaps. his big hand slithers down to cup your breast and knead it, kissing your nipple whilst holding eye contact, “i can wait for you.”
satoru sighs as he rolls his tongue around your hardened nipple. he’s drooling over your breasts, a drunken glint in his eyes. he’s so obsessed with you to the point that he’d marry you right now if he could. that proposal wasn’t a joke—but he figured that it also wasn’t the smartest.
he’ll give you a proper and serious proposal one day. though, now you know for sure that he’s gotten into this relationship with the thought of actually marrying you.
“but i also—fuck—can’t wait,” satoru whines, feeling your walls clamp down on his thick cock. his dick is pulsing with need, exploring your squishy insides while his balls prepare to release all semen stored right into your fertile womb. even if you may take a pill to get rid of any unwanted consequences, the thought of seeing your tummy swell with his child is making the older man go insane.
satoru buries his face between your breasts and breathes heavily against your sweaty skin. his hips move with renewed vigour, his energy never depleting when it comes to pleasuring you, “wanna make you my wife ‘n breed this pretty pussy.”
you moan repeatedly, unable to stop yourself. especially after satoru frantically spews such lewd words. he’s getting lost in your cunt and the way it’s swallowing him in—into your pretty pussy that he owns. his pussy.
“wanna be your wife so bad, ‘toru,” you hiccup, nearly crying from the intense pleasure. you’d love to be satoru’s wife. he already treats you so well while you’re his girlfriend, you can’t imagine how much better it’s going to get once you’re officially his. your stomach fills with butterflies at the thought of being able to call him your husband.
the white-haired man chuckles. his blue eyes stare down at you with nothing but love, “yeah? mh, i’ll treat you so well every single day. g’nna come home to you ‘n give you some proper loving.”
satoru can already imagine it. coming home to you after a long day of work, needing a quick release. seeing you greet him at the door will send him into a frenzy. especially if you’re wearing an apron—he’s a sucker for domestic stuff.
you, his wife, taking care of him after a rough day at work. . . it’s a dream come true. he’ll spoil you with materialistic gifts and his unending love so you’ll live a happy life.
oh, don’t get him started on kids. satoru ruts into you like his life depends on it, the hypnotising rhythm of your boobs jiggling in circles is making him drool. having a little family with you is his end goal. you’ll be such a good mother and he’ll be such an amazing dad; a perfect combination.
satoru can already picture the amount of times he’ll dump his cum inside of you, without any restrictions. without you taking a pill or him wrapping a condom around his dick. his libido is going to be at an all time high when the time comes.
even if satoru ages a bit, he’s sure that he’s going to be able to have sex with you non stop. you get him hard without fail every single time. you’re his everything—the apple of his eyes.
your lover nearly chokes on his own saliva. he pushes his cock in to the base, burying it as deep as possible. your fingers curl around the pillow you’re holding for support, your eyes rolling back. his pink tip hit the right spot. that sweet spot that makes you cum without fail.
satoru bites his bottom lip. the way he’s looking at you, with a possessive kind of love and lust, is simply too much. his oceanic eyes are glimmering with need. erotic images flash through his mind of him impregnating you, “going to put a baby into you as soon as you’re ready.”
your tummy fills with butterflies. the way he’s talking to you like you’re already a married couple is making your pussy even wetter than it already is. it’s like it’s begging satoru to give it to you already—to make it store all his cum.
his eyes roll back as he leans his forehead against your shoulder. he has to hold himself back from cumming too soon. he wants to cherish every second spent inside of your warm body. satoru attaches his lips to your breasts again, “mhhh, y’re gonna look so beautiful pregnant, mama. those tits of y’rs. . .”
his voice is barely audible because he’s busy sucking on your nipples. your boyfriend is imagining the pair growing with each semester, filling out perfectly to store milk for the baby.
satoru cannot wait to be the reason why your body will change so much. you’ll be even prettier than you already are, that he can tell already. he’s going to give you gifts every day, to thank you for carrying his child. he’s going to spoil you rotten because you deserve it and so much more.
he can’t wait for the married life with you. many men dread that life, but that’s not the case with satoru. every day of his married life will be spent with his wife—you—and the honeymoon phase will never end. ever.
satoru’s cock is twitching and begging for the much needed release. he pounds you into the couch until you’re screaming in pleasure, feeling him so deep inside you. he’s so big, he’s stretching you out so well to the point of no return. the older man grins at the sight of your already fucked out face, “cunt ‘s gonna be so swollen because of how much i’ll pleasure her—paint her all white with my cum.”
satoru’s nasty words are causing unspeakable things to your body. you’re on the brink of reaching that euphoric state. the dirty talk is too much to handle at this point. your limbs are tingling and your cunt is aching to be stuffed full of his hot semen.
“s-satoru, don’t say such stuff,” you comment in a shaky breath. your head is spinning and your hands desperately reach out to hold onto his shoulders, squeezing the skin. your hips are bucking up lightly, your clit bumping against satoru’s pelvic area with each thrust, “i’m gonna cum if you keep saying that.”
your lover’s grin widens even more. he knows you enjoy it when he whispers such dirty stuff in your ear. that’s mainly the reason why he does it. he’s talked you through multiple orgasms before—it’s quite easy to do so with his husky voice and manly touch.
“that’s fine, baby,” satoru coos and leaves one last, sloppy kiss on your nipple before leaning in to attach his lips to yours. his tongue swirls around yours as you share your spit, the mixture trickling down your chins.
his hips don’t stop. he positions his lower body in an angle that gets you screaming for mercy, which he won’t do. he craves to ruin you on his cock, to see you melt with pleasure underneath him.
“make a mess on my dick while i make a mess inside of you,” satoru encourages you which seals the deal. your body shakes as you feel the waves of pleasure run through your system. you can feel hot ropes of cum nestle deep inside of your cunt. your boyfriend shudders at the sensation and helps you ride your climax out.
he pushes in and back out a few times, lazily, his finger finding your clit to rub until you’ve calmed down. “good girl. y’ took all of it, hm? lovely,” satoru nearly collapses on top of you after the energy leaves his body, careful not to crush you underneath his weight.
he doesn’t bother to pull out. he keeps his cum plugged into you—relishing the moment of ecstasy. even if he can’t fully breed you now, he’ll wait until the day he can.
“i love you, wifey,” satoru kisses your temple, tiredly giggling at the nickname he gave you. in his mind, you are already his one and only woman.
his wife and partner for life.
#sttoru writes.#jjk smut#gojo smut#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#jjk x you#gojo x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x y/n
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I have assignments due... but im so fucking tired
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anatomy of us (1) | alpha!ghost x f!omega!reader
we cannot change who we are at our core.
type: limited series, part 1 (6.4k), AO3 in an attempt to tame an unruly alpha, you are given. he did not come with warning labels. but neither did you.
series cw: reader described as plus-sized/curvier, alpha/beta/omega dynamics + universe, dark!simon, mature language and content, suggestive language and content, graphic depictions of murder + violence, military criticism, protective!simon, possessiveness, dom/sub dynamics, size kink, praise kink, unprotected piv, cumplay, oral (fem!receiving) 18+
Whenever she woke up marked the last day of the rest of your life. One moment, the world inside of your head was unnervingly quiet. The next, someone else was there, whispering in the dark, taking over.
You aren't proud of her. No, you hate her. There is no one you hate more, you don't think, because she lets the direction of the fucking wind distract her from what really matters. She paints her environment in a soft, glazed picture, and she tries to hold up her canvas and convince you that her reality is real. But then you blink, and you get flashes of how dull the sky really is and the dirt that stains your shoes, and you know that she's just a liar.
A controlling, desperate thief.
When you heard her voice for the first time, you begged your reflection in the mirror to just kill you already.
If you were an alpha, maybe you could've just drawn away into yourself and lived a quiet life in the middle of nowhere. If you were a beta, perhaps the weight of nothing would've given you a little more freedom to do the things you wanted to do.
But no. You're an omega. Nature's servant. A natural follower. Destined for nothing except to open your legs and say, "yes, alpha, all for you," because if you are anything but complacent, you're unwanted and a waste of your very being.
Your eyes stung when you took your first little pill. They rattled in different colors in a little orange bottle, and it felt like sand as it dissolved under your tongue. Even though it makes you sick, you take them anyways. Even though the pills change colors and shape and efficacy because you buy them from someone different every time, you take them because it makes your omega shut the fuck up finally.
You bury her. And you won't let her out.
The truth of it is that you're only fighting yourself. Your omega, she is you, isn't she? She's a part of you, she makes up your very genetic makeup, and to hate her is to hate yourself. But nature is cruel–it gave you years of freedom. Years to know what life was like without her, when she was dormant, asleep, just waiting for you to finally wake up.
Then your very self locked the cage. Your fingers claw at the bars, but it's no use. It's your very own punishment. So in turn, you bury her, too, silencing her cries, quieting what she wants most in the world, because it isn't fair, fuck you, you whiny bitch.
She's a pathetic puppy; and you are more than happy to step on her fucking neck.
Your aim is off today. The sound is muffled through the earphones you wear, but they've never thrown off your balance before. When you lean over the railing and squint at the target papers towards the back, you can see the bullet holes just a few inches off center.
You're never off-center.
"Getting rusty on me, Kit?"
You turn around, setting the gun down, and you smile wide when you see a familiar face. You pull the headphones off, putting them aside before making your way towards her.
Kate Laswell is surprised when you throw your arms around her and hug her tight. She smells good; she smells like chocolate, dark chocolate, something bittersweet. She's got that edge to it that they all do, something a little heady and all-encompassing, but she's the only alpha that you've ever found comfort being near. You see her nose scrunch a little when she embraces you back.
You must stink like synthetics. You care, only because you hate to make her nose sting this way. It's never been meant for her. At times, you thought maybe you could do a little convincing; maybe if you batted your lashes enough, she’d take pity on you, hide you away in some CIA shack with her deep on a Montana farm and play house. You’d cook, and she’d protect, and you’d be perfect little alpha and omega until the end of your days.
But Kate doesn’t like baggage. Not even the sweet kind, and especially not the kind that makes it even more difficult to make the hard decisions.
Kate isn’t a soldier. She makes choices based on the greater good, the lesser evil. She doesn’t get to be selfish. She doesn’t have that luxury.
When you pull away, she looks down at you strangely. She looks tired. Her dark hair is in a mess of a braid tucked under a cap, and she looks like she hasn't slept in days. Her attempt of a smile emphasizes the lines around her eyes. You open your mouth to tell her something, but she shakes her head.
"I'm not here as a friend," she says softly, and you frown a little.
"Aren't...haven't we always been friends?" You ask, and Kate lets out a shaky sigh, nodding her head behind her.
"We need to talk. C'mon."
You retrieve the gun and holster it, fastening it into your thigh holster before you follow her. She has a car waiting outside, a big, black SUV with the door already open for her. When you get inside, she knocks on the divider, and the car immediately starts moving. You brace yourself against the side of the car as it speeds off, reaching for a seatbelt.
"Jesus, Kate, what's going on? I-I have training later, I can't–"
"You're not...going back to base," she says evenly. You frown a little, leaning back in your seat, and you put your hands in your lap as you try and get a read on her. Even exhausted, Kate is hard to decipher. She has a stone-cold expression, calm and unbothered, and you curse her CIA training for making her impossible to understand, to even get a glimpse of what she might say next. Her face makes you anxious, and the scent in the car that changes puts you on edge.
"Okay," you scoff a little. "Then where am I going?"
Kate sniffs a little, crossing her arms over her chest. She doesn't break eye contact with you when she says, "Wheels up in 30. I have an assignment for you." She reaches under the seat, pulling out a manila folder, setting it down beside you. When you pick it up and flip it open, you narrow your eyes.
"I'm..." You shrug your shoulders, "I'm not really CIA. You don't give me orders."
"As of one hour ago, you're mine. And this...this is your duty."
Your eyes blur as you skim the text on the pages. You flip through the papers flimsily, getting more and more irritated until you throw it at her, your chest rising and falling fast as you pant, barely able to see her through your tears.
Program. UK. Field assignment. Mate. All the keywords to make your stomach curl and your autonomy shrink in front of your very eyes.
"Kate, don't do this," you beg her softly. You soften your voice, and you let your omega drip syrup into it. You want to see her eyes dilate–you want to make her protectiveness kick in just enough that she might just appease you. It’s desperate, and you know it’s wrong, but you do it anyways, you have to. "Please don't do this. Please. You fucking promised me, you promised–"
"You need to understand that I don't have a lot of fucking choices," she says sharply. She pities you, that much you can tell. She looks pained, but it doesn’t matter how pained she might feel because it isn’t happening to her. It’s happening to you, and she put you on that base so that it wouldn’t happen to you, and she tricked you into getting into this car, and now it’s her–
"Kate, I'll do anything, please," you gasp. You reach over and grab her hands, tugging her towards you. "You know. You know what...w-what I've been through, what this all is, you know...please. Please..."
You promised me. You gave me your word.
"I can't–"
But the CIA can’t be trusted for shit.
"I'll be yours," you try, squeezing her palms. Appease. Beg. Bare your neck. Give her what she really craves. "Just claim me yourself, a-and...and we don't have to do this, w-we can...I-I can go back to–"
Her face contorts, offended, disgusted. You try and swallow down the sting of her rejection, but you cannot help yourself. You would do anything to not be subjected to this fate, to the fate she promised she'd save you from. The only alpha you have ever trusted, and she's pulling away from you, bit by bit.
"I could never do that to you," she interrupts, shaking her head. "I couldn't."
"But you'll do this instead?"
"It's the lesser evil," she says finally, pushing your hands back. It aches. Despite you never leaning towards her, it is still an alpha turning their nose up at you, and the thing inside of you cries at the feeling; she begs you to do more, but you swallow her down, fingers itching for another pill just so you can really squash her singing. "And in my world, that is the best I can hope for."
"It's punishment!" You cry, and she reaches over, cupping your cheeks, pulling you close. You scrunch your face at her touch. Her hands are cold, and they do not welcome you. "A-And for what? For being something that I can't change?!"
"It's mercy," she whispers. Her thumbs stroke your cheeks in soft circles. "I can't protect you anymore, do you understand? They don't want you there, and I can’t take you with me. Even taking meds, even spraying yourself to shit, they don't want you, and I can't protect you if they send you away, do you understand me?" You start to cry, closing your eyes, and you hear the familiar voice in your head preening. She's desperate, slipping through the cracks, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you try and force her backwards. You’re panicking, and maybe she’s trying to help, but you hate her. "I have to get you out of there, and this is the only way."
"Please..."
"I can't protect you," she says gently. "But he can. And he'll be good to you. I promise, this...this I can promise."
You rip yourself away from her, curling into yourself as you scoot away from her as far as possible. You press yourself against the door, tucking your knees into your chest. Whatever passes by outside is a blur, and your brain doesn’t register any of it. The only thing in your head is betrayal, traitor, those sick, stupid bastard alphas, all of them–
"Fuck your promises," you whimper, and when she reaches out for you again, you flinch, burying your face into your hands.
Kate is a liar. She never keeps her promises; that’s her job, it is what she does. The CIA is nothing if they aren’t incredible liars–it’s what they’re known for, and Kate takes to it like a fish to water. As far as you are concerned, she lured you in with bait, and now she's shut the door on a trap. It is lined with padding, soft, delicate, but it still holds you back, it still keeps you still and stagnant and forever chained to an existence that you detest more than anything. She used you; it was in her best interest to keep an omega under her thumb, to do with you as she pleased when she needed one, and you suppose once you are taken, she will find another to do the same with. She will give another desperate one like you false hope, and when she needs another omega to keep someone else complacent and willing, she will offer them up with her signature on paper–just like that.
She tries to touch your hand before you board the plane. She tries to meet your eyes, get your attention, anything. You cower when she reaches out, and when she steps backwards, you walk on.
You never look behind yourself. Not even when you sit, and not even as the ramp closes shut.
Fighting is futile when you are who you are. It's unexpected. It's frowned upon. You are made up of something that is intended to be docile, to be big-eyed and soft. If you were a dog, they would want you to roll over and bare your belly and forget how to do anything but obey, but that is not the kind of thing that you ever wanted to be, even when you were small, even before you knew what you really were.
You hate what you are. You medicate yourself to the point of being incoherent, you bare your teeth and aggravate the submissive nature you inherit to deter any kind of match. You make yourself undesirable, not just in your physical nature but in the very essence of yourself.
You want to start over, as something else, or you want to never have been at all. You hate this place, you want them to cast you out, you want to be left to your own devices because dying alone and unwanted is better than submission; it;s better than the imprisonment that your kind subjects themselves to, willing or not.
It sickens you. You watch your own kind fall to their knees, close their mouths, and allow their very being to disappear just to make another satiated. Happy. Their entire lives, reduced to being someone else's waiting hand, someone else's property. It's sad, it's pathetic, it rocks you to the very center of yourself, and you demand more of it, you reject this life and the voice in your head that fights with you every single day of it.
She hates you, too, your omega. She claws at your insides and begs for something to drink, but you dry her out. You don't allow her to even breach the surface of the wasteland you've suffocated her with. She is naïve; she doesn't know what is good for her, she doesn't know that you are saving her from a life of constant torture. She screams for you to let her out, but you take another pill and force her back into the dark.
Or at least you did. You haven't taken a pill in days. They won't let you, even when you asked, even when you began to beg. You promised to be good if they just appeased you. You promised to be quiet if they just slipped it under your tongue, even if they injected it into your very veins, anything, just please, please, I don't want to–
Everything is surreal. You feel like you're seeing everything in color. What used to be dull and uninteresting now sparkles in your very eyes, it glows under the sun. Everything is sharper and less blurry. Sounds are clearer. You can hear the wind more loudly in your ears and feel it under the soles of your shoes. But what dizzies you the most is your sense of smell.
Everything before had been so bland. You have been under the effects of suppressors for so long that you don't think food has ever smelled so bad and so good (eggs make you gag now, and the crisps they give you make your mouth water).
They keep you confined in a small room. You are not allowed in the presence of any alphas; you can smell them passing by the door, but whenever the stink of one of them lingers, there's loud voices, lots of heavy boots. A beta comes to collect you to do a daily workout and to shower, and then you are back in your room, your meals delivered on a tight schedule (and the food, after a few days of your tray being barely picked at, gets so much better–it's better quality than you've seen on any military base, and when you asked, all they said was "lieutenant's orders").
Today is different. Today, along with your breakfast, a large black hoodie is folded underneath the tray that they leave on the end of your bed. You set the food aside, picking up the hoodie, and when you unravel it, you spread it out, gawking at the size of it. Whoever this hoodie belongs to is more bear, more beast, than human. An enormous thing, but when you pick it up, you immediately pick up on its strong scent.
You press the front of it to your nose. Your eyes flutter shut, and you sink into the bed a little as you take a deep breath of it. Warm, but gritty, like charcoal. Cigarettes. Military-issue soap. Clean. Eucalyptus. Fire. Something with depth, something with teeth. You don't realize what's happening to you until it's too late.
Alpha. It smells undoubtedly like alpha, and you're certain by the size of it that it belongs to one. You nuzzle your face into it a little, instinctively, and you don't even register your omega knocking, peering through the door that's been cracked open for her.
She squeals with delight. She's getting dizzy, drunk, and you feel a soft noise in your chest bubble as she pets the back of your mind, keening at the introduction of it. She’s giggling. You can feel her tugging at your insides, whispering in your ear–See? I told you. I told you that you’d like it.
They smell strong. They smell capable. They smell pure.
When you put the hoodie down, your legs are pressed together, shaking from how hard your thighs are squeezed. When you relax, you refrain from the need to touch yourself, but you failed before you even started. You can feel how wet you are; your panties must be soaked, and you feel yourself pulsing with some sort of distinct urge to give in, give in, give in.
It's unnerving, the lack of control you have. Your omega has always been a few feet underwater, but she's breaching the surface now, her lips gasping for air.
You try to push her back.
Stay down.
When the clock strikes for dinner, you aren't surprised by the knock. But you are surprised that when the door opens, there isn't a beta in uniform holding your tray. Instead, you cover your nose a little, blinking harshly as a large man comes into the room. He's got a strange beard and a floppy hat, and when he smiles, he reminds you of a teddy bear. You can tell just by his physique what he is, but his eyes are kinder than you're used to.
You will yourself not to trust them. You trusted kind eyes before, and now you’re locked in a prison of your own making.
"'ello," he introduces himself, holding out his hand. "'m Captain John Price. 's nice to meet you."
You glare at him, not saying a word. When he figures you won't shake his hand, he just nods. He lets his hand drop, hooking his thumbs into his tact vest, and he rests at ease.
"I've come to collect you," he says lowly. "It's time."
You pick up your tray of food from behind you and hurl it towards him. He ducks just in time, moving one shoulder backwards as the metal hits the wall behind him and clatters to the floor in a splattered mess. John shakes his head a little, scratching the back of his neck, and he clicks his tongue. You’re unnerved and a little pissed off when a hint of a grin flickers over his face.
"Fuckin' hell," he breathes. "Yeah...you'll do."
"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"Let's go," John snaps. "Won't ask again."
When he reaches for you, you swipe the fork from the bed, stepping close and sticking the little prongs up against his chin. You aren’t satisfied until you can feel his scratchy beard against it, piercing the skin just enough.
"If you touch me, I'll shove this right up your chin through your goddamn nose," you threaten, and John’s nostrils flare, his hands going up flat beside his head.
"Easy," he murmurs, and you feel like he’s talking to a skittish mare. "Just need to guide you, that's all."
"Well, I don't want to go anywhere."
"If you don't do this, I have to send you back," John explains. "And Kate made it very clear that is supposed to be my last resort. And you don't want to go back."
"Anything is better than this," you hiss, and he narrows his eyes.
"Not this. What they do to unruly omegas..." He leans forward, snarling a little. "Ones like you. Ones that bite. And scratch. They don't deal with them. They'll sedate you and use you as training practice. And while Kate might have a heart big enough to keep you outta that place, I don't have it. So get your arse moving. Now."
You put your hand down, dropping the fork, letting it clatter to the floor. He grips you by the collar of your shirt, urging you forward, and all the hairs stand up on the back of your neck as he gets dangerously close to scruffing you. It's enough of a threat that you immediately relax, your own body betraying your emotions as it tries to make itself smaller. To appease. To submit.
"This can't wait any longer," John mutters. "Has to happen today."
Your lip trembles.
"What has to happen today?" You ask.
"You're meeting your mate," he says. You know that was the answer, but you had to ask it anyways. You think of the hoodie you received all those hours ago. The smell of him, complete intoxication. "Simon."
Simon.
"Sounds like an asshole," you snap, irritated, and John chuckles a little.
"Mmm. He is. You'll adore 'im."
You flinch at the flickering fluorescent lights as he leads you down a narrow hallway. When you pass other soldiers, John puts you in front of him, glaring and baring his teeth a little. You're confused by this sudden display of aggression on your behalf, but when you spot the looks in others’ eyes, you're grateful for it nonetheless.
You know your scent is strong; piercing the walls around you, displaying your displeasure, discomfort, fear so plainly. It's an awful thing to not be able to hide how you feel, to not feel like you have any control over how you present to others, but you have no practice masking any of it. You have been drowning your omega for so long that you didn't realize the strength of her building up behind the synthetic walls you had built. She's livid, angry, permeating the spaces in your mind that you thought were solid and now are broken and hollow inside.
You stop in front of an unmarked door. John looks over you, eyeing the jacket you wear.
"Take tha' off," he says lowly. You frown, stepping back, but he nods again. "Take it off. You'll get it back, just give it to me."
You shrug your jacket off gently, handing it to him. John holds out his hand for yours, and when you cautiously give it to him, he rubs the fabric against your wrists to soak it in your scent before disappearing behind the door. You wait outside, pressing your ear to the metal, but you hear nothing but low mumbles. You do hear a heavy gait, big feet moving around that don't belong to Captain Price, and you close your eyes as you try and see if you can hear his voice.
You don't.
The door is opened just slightly, John cocking his head to the side.
"He wants to see you."
You raise a brow.
"Your mutt?" You ask smartly, and John scoffs a little, kicking the door open wide finally. Behind it, you can see a small little office situated. Dozens of file cabinets, a stained wooden desk, a peeling leather chair. There are papers everywhere, a disorganized mess and walls filled with medals, plaques, letters, pictures of faceless men. And standing beside the desk, towering over it with his head nearly hitting the ceiling is a bear.
A fucking bear.
He's so tall. Over six feet of hulking man, big shoulders taking up too much space. You can tell just by looking at him that he has to duck his head and move his body sideways to get through the doorway you're standing in. He has big hands and thick thighs, and your lips part when you realize his thigh holster has been released as much as possible just to still fit snugly around him. He's wearing dark jeans and a thick black hoodie, and he looks even bigger with a strapped tact vest that holds numerous little gadgets, weapons (fuck, he looks like he can kill you with the pencil laying haphazard beside him).
You can't see his face. He covers it with a mask, a snug covering tucked under his hoodie with the plastic front plate of a skull sewn to its front. He's holding your jacket in one hand, the other clenched in a tight fist as you step through the door.
"Is this your dog, Captain?" You ask finally. Simon doesn't speak. He tilts his head to the side, eyeing you, taking in the way you look from the tips of your combat boots all the way up over your head. His gaze lingers on your middle, the wideness of your hips and the curve of your body.
John crosses his arms over his chest.
"Suppose so," John shrugs, rolling his eyes a little. You blink, finally making eye contact with Simon. His eyes are dark and beady. He's intense, just as his scent had been. Your omega warms your throat and screams in your ear.
Grab him. Latch onto him. Don’t let him go. Do you see him? Look at him–
"Does it bark?" You wonder, glaring. Simon unclenches his fist, rolling his fingers out a little. They twitch beside his leg. His face twitches a little, too, you can see the mask move just slightly.
"When he wants to."
"Does it bite?"
John snorts. "Mmm. Afraid so." He opens the door behind him. "Don't kill each other. If I don't see her for supper, Simon, I'll hold you to it."
When you are alone, Simon still remains silent. He hasn't moved from his spot by the desk, still in a strange staring contest with you as you stand there trying to read him. Like Kate, he's impossible; this time, you don't even have the luxury of looking over his face, although you suspect even without the mask, he must have mastered some kind of expression of nothingness. He seems like the kind of brute to give nothing away. Not even his displeasure.
"Hope you're good on a leash," you say finally, crossing your arms over your chest. "I like to go on walks."
His face moves under the mask again. Finally, he moves. He unravels your jacket in his hand, holding it open for you to put on again. You eye him strangely before coming closer to fit your arms into it.
When you turn your back to him, you realize how much of his shadow you're tucked under. When he drops the fabric back on your shoulders, you still as he leans over one side of you, bending. Without thinking, your head tilts to the side, giving him more space into the side of your neck. You do it without even thinking. Your omega bleeds through you, and you feel her warmth everywhere now, making you move, but you let her this time.
Your scent gland pulses there under your ear. He can see it, hear it practically, rushing like the blood in his ears. You close your eyes when you feel him come closer, the cotton of his mask just barely grazing your neck as he takes a deep breath.
The growl he lets out shakes you to your core. Your pupils get blown wide at the sound, and your head flops back slow, exposing more of your neck. He uses the opportunity to bend just that much more, until the front of his mask is pressed against the gland, and he can breathe you in, right at the source.
He's snarling under the mask. You can hear his teeth knock together, his tongue wetting his lips. You shiver, leaning into him, your hand raising up to caress the back of his neck as he nuzzles his nose there, taking another deep breath. You step back enough that he presses up against you from behind. You can feel his pelvis right against your ass, and you arch your back just enough to fit him right where he belongs. A gloved hand catches you at your waist, and you put your free hand on the desk in front of you until his cock is right there between your ass.
Your omega is panting. She's clawing, right there at the edge, fighting against quicksand as she's desperate to meet him. The feeling of him, the scent of him so close, it's an aphrodisiac, potent, suffocating. Something warm is wrapping around you, sliding along your skin, tickling your toes. It's between your thighs, in your mouth, wetting your tongue. You're not sure what this feeling is, but it's thrilling.
He's purring. Big, rumbling sounds coming from deep in his chest. More animal than man as his tongue comes out under the mask, and you can feel him lick a nice stripe over the raised, warm skin under your ear. Your omega is being pulled to the forefront. She’s like a magnet to him. The closer he gets, the stronger she bites into you. Your mouth drops open when his hand falls between your thighs, gripping onto you and pulling you up against him in one, slow grind. You can feel the length of him, fucking enormous, and you’re leaking into your cargos as his fingers squeeze the fat of your thigh.
"Fuck–okay!" You pull away abruptly, turning to face him. You put your hands on his chest and push him back a little. He doesn’t move at your touch, but your voice startles him enough that he moves his hands up and away from you. He straightens up, blinking away the haze in his eyes, and you swallow hard. "T-Too much..."
He huffs, moving forward to bury his face into your neck again, but you step back, putting a hand on his chest firmer this time. You have stepped out of the cloud that surrounds him, but you can still taste it, and it’s pulling you back, and you’re losing control.
"Simon," you say his name gently, and he stops, his face scrunching a little under the mask before he stands back up again. "If I have to be your mate...we need to set some boundaries." He blinks, saying nothing. "Like...a-asking for permission."
You can tell by the way his mask twitches that he doesn't usually ask for permission. He wants, and he receives.
Typical.
“What?” You ask, scoffing. “You don’t talk?”
He doesn’t move. You crane your neck to look up at him a little better, and you smooth your hands lower on his chest. You can’t help but appreciate what you feel. He’s wearing a tactical vest, but you can still feel the deep breaths he’s taking, the strong, fatty muscle under your palms. He is the epitome of sheer strength and undeniable ability. Your omega draws your hands back up his chest, over his pecs that pull taut, and they wind up around his neck as you stand up on your toes and lean into the curve of his jaw. You put your nose to it, barely. Simon moves his hands down, cupping you under your ass and picking up your weight with not even a grunt until you can press your face deep into him.
Fuck, it’s like a drug. It’s addictive. His scent impales you. He smells like war. Like chaos and smoke, and your mouth starts to water as you keep breathing him in. You pull back just enough, blinking up at him. You look a little dizzy and intoxicated, and he squeezes your ass to hold you steady as he puts you back onto your feet.
“Uhm…” You sniffle a little, holding onto him. Your hands curl around his shoulders, and you keep yourself upright like this. “I didn’t wanna be here. I don’t…I don’t want this. I never did.” You blink away tears, but he sees them when you draw your eyes back up to his. “T-They made me. It hurts.”
“Wot hurts?”
His voice scares you when you finally hear it. Your lip shakes, and when you blink again, your tears fall down your face. Simon snarls when he sees them, reaching up with hands too rough and wiping them off your face, but they keep coming.
“I’ve never been o-off my meds–” You gasp, and your breaths start to come in panicked and too fast. “Everything hurts. T-The lights are too bright, everything hurts my nose, the sheets are too itchy, and I-I can’t breathe–”
Simon moves away from you immediately. He closes a fist and pounds the lightswitch, and only the yellow glow of the lamp on his desk illuminates the room. You curl into yourself, hugging your own arms, and Simon comes back to stand in front of you, narrowing his eyes.
“I did not want you either.”
“That’s just grand, this is perfect,” you hiccup, and Simon grunts.
“But I have orders.”
“You act like your Captain is just debriefing you for a fucking mission,” You snap, glaring at him. “I’m a fucking person. I know your kind may not see us that way, but I am. I’m not a mission. I’m not something for you to win or to conquer, you fucking asshole!”
When you raise a hand to hit him, he catches your wrist before it lands. He squeezes just enough to hold you at arm’s length, and you lean forward and spit on him instead. It wets the mouth of his mask, and he nearly loses himself as his eyes flash with something dark. He looks away from you for a moment to collect himself. When he turns back, he uses his other hand to cup the back of your head, silencing you.
“You listen ‘ere, omega–” The way he says your title makes the fight in you shrink. Your omega squeaks, ducking her head, that bubble of submission pilling in your throat as he holds you so close to your naked scent gland. “Dunno wot anyone told you, but I don’t have to win you when y’r already mine.” He ducks his head, pulling you closer, and you freeze when he presses his masked mouth at the base of your pulsing scent gland. It wafts into his nose, dilating his pupils, and he snarls. “And when you inevitably lose control of yourself–you already fuckin’ are, you reek of it–I’m goin’ to sink my teeth right ‘ere, and then it won’t fuckin’ matter ‘ow you feel.”
Your eyes blur with angry tears. You gasp, your breaths hitching, and Simon seems to feed off of your fear, your misery. If he wasn’t wearing a mask, you imagine he’d be licking your tears for a chance to taste your sadness. The worst part of it all is that your omega adores it. She’s been aching for so long for this kind of authority. For that edge to tickle her right under her chin where she likes it. The whiff of alpha that she’s getting is driving her out of control, and you don’t know how make her quiet down. She’s so loud in your head, banging against the walls–give it to him, give it to him, give it to him.
“You’re a fucking monster,” you whisper, glaring up at him. It’s no use–you will never scare him. Simon is what scares other alphas into submission. In one paw, he could crush your windpipe if he wanted to, with just a squeeze. Simon hums, and you imagine him smiling under that mask, some kind of vicious grin that you would love to smack off of him.
“Tha’s right, swee’eart,” Simon mutters. “I am. ‘n now you belong t’me. Everything that you are–” He smooths his hand down your neck. You seize when his hand slides over the curve of your waist until it cups under your ass and forces you up against him. “‘s mine. Your omega–’s mine. Your mouth–mine. Your arse–mine. That cunt that’s going to take my knot like a good little omega should–mine. So y’r gonna get y’r things, and y’r gonna move them into my quarters, and then we’re gonna go get supper, and y’r gonna shut y’r fuckin’ mouth.”
“I hate you. You’re the biggest son of a bitch I have ever met in my entire life, you are exactly the kind of asshole I knew you would be, you are no different than I thought. You’re a terrible, awful, horrible–”
“I can smell you,” Simon snaps. “Don’t try to be fuckin’ smart with me, I can smell how wet your cunt is, so why don’t you just be a good girl and do as I say?”
You bare your teeth a little, and Simon sticks a gloved thumb into your mouth. Without thinking, you relax. You suck it into your mouth and sigh, and Simon rubs his thumb against your tongue, shutting you up nice and well. He traces your teeth with it, and you start to cry. You cry because you don’t know why you can’t fight. Your grip his forearm, but your nails won’t dig. Your feet are planted to the ground, and you can’t move. Your mouth sucks, and he pushes, and you’re frozen here.
He knows what to do. Doesn’t he taste so good?
He seems to like your teary eyes. The big, fat tears. His eyes crinkle, and you know he’s smiling, and you wish you could rip that expression off his face, but all that stares back at you is death. Simon growls, and every bit of resistance in you fails. Slow, like molasses, your knees buckle, and he catches you. He pets your mouth, and when he leans in and presses his mouth to your ear, all you can do is cry.
“That’s it. Good kitty.”
NEXT
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#dark!ghost#dark!simon
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Simon has a favorite jumper. It's simple, black wool, fits him well, and he wears it all the time. Only problem is, he wears the thing all the time. He's had the thing for years and it's practically all he wears when he's on leave. By this point, the poor thing is threadbare, little holes around the armpits, the neckline, and the cuffs. It's pilling everywhere and it's covered with dog hair (from where, he has no clue).
You loved the jumper on him, he looked fantastic in it, but even you could see the thing was in a dire situation.
"Simon?" You questioned, holding up the jumper in your arms, folding it after its last round in the wash (which it mercifully survived).
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever...thought about getting this thing dry cleaners?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Don't trust 'em, they'll ruin it."
It was a simple answer, one that told you the subject wasn't up for debate. But just because he didn't trust the dry cleaners with his jumper didn't mean he wouldn't trust anyone with it. And there was no one he trusted more than you.
...
Simon came home from his last deployment late into the night, trudging through the front door and setting his bag down as gently as possible as to not wake you. Toeing his shoes off and finally being able to tug off his mask, he couldn't wait to get out of the rest of his gear.
Stepping lightly through the house, dodging the floor boards he knew were going to be squeaky on his journey to the bedroom. Ready to join you in bed the moment he got into a pair of sweat pants.
When he opened the bedroom door however, he did not find you tucked away in the covers. You were crouched on the floor, humming along to quiet music playing on a small speaker. And you were bowed over that black jumper of his.
"Love?"
"Oh! Simon you're home!" You squealed, jumping up and throwing yourself into his arms, snuggling your face into his chest and drinking in the scent you had been without for so long like you could get drunk off it, and in many ways you could.
"Hey there sweet'art" he cooed, practically purring it into your ear and enclosing you in a big bear hug. "What'er ya' up to?"
"Oh just..." you turned back around, anxiety lacing your voice, "doing a little repair work." You handed him his black jumper, folding it into his hands.
He could believe his eyes, it was smooth like it was new, no pills of fabric clinging to it. The tiny, threadbare areas and holes were patched up. Now, perfectly matched black wool was weaved in to fix it. He stared at you, wide eyed, in disbelief while you just grinned nervously. He brought it up to his face, no dog hair to be seen and it smelt like you had just picked it up off the shelves.
He kept on staring at you "how..?"
"I just," you turned back around, grabbing the sweater trimmer, the replacement wool, the sweater scent spray, and the lint roller, all in your hands. "Used a couple things" You grinned
Simon could have sworn he never felt this way before. There was this weird tightness in his chest, it felt like it was going to explode. He had owned that sweater when he Tommy was still alive, that sweater had seen the first pub crawl with the 141 boys, he wore it on your first date. The sweater was more than just something he wore often, it was his good memories wrapped up into one piece of soft and comfortable wool. His arms moved before he could stop them and he buried you in another hug, squeezing you (and his jumper) into him.
"Oh- Simon!" You giggled, dropping your supplies.
He buried his nose into you shoulder, lifting you up into him, off your feet.
"Thank you," he murmured, voice cracking a bit, "thank you."
#sorry but...#I like it when the big man feels big feelings#simon ghost x reader#simon#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley headcanons#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#soap#ghost cod#ghost#ghost x y/n#ghost x you#ghost x oc#ghost x reader#tf 141 headcanons#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#task force 141#cod mw3#cod modern warfare#cod x you#cod x reader#cod x y/n#cod x oc#cod mw2#john price#kyle gaz garrick
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hitting it raw!
— letting wind breaker boys hit it raw for the first time (wc: 4.3k)
sakura haruka, suo hayato, togame jo, kaji ren, umemiya hajime (separate) x fem reader
contains explicit nsfw content, minors do not interact
tw: creampie, hair pulling, oral (m and f receiving), overstimulation, cum swallowing, squirting, pet names (baby, sweetheart, pretty girl, good girl, angel), dacryphillia, toys (vibrator), light choking, semi-public sex (restaurant bathroom), unprotected sex, size difference, belly bulge, mentions of birth control pills
sakura haruka (wc: 0.8k)
⸻ oral (m receiving), hair pulling, cum swallowing, unprotected sex
“don’t-” sakura grunted, hips jolting up as you took him deeper into your mouth. he reached down blindly, hands finding your hair and tugging hard in an attempt to pull you off him.
you moaned at the feeling instead, the vibrations causing him to jerk up into you again. one hand came up to squeeze his balls as you eased the rest of his cock down your throat, stopping only when your nose was nestled in the hair at the base of his length. he opened his eyes to the sight of you blinking up at him prettily, and the image alone had him coming undone.
his breath hitched, groans echoing from above you. he threw his head back and brought an arm up to cover his eyes as thick ropes of cum shot down your throat.
you released his dick with a loud pop!, grinning up at him from your kneeling position between his legs. you opened wide, tongue lolling out to show not a single drop of cum after swallowing the load he released in your mouth.
“i—” sakura swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to even out his breathing. “i told you not to swallow…” he grumbled, willing his head to lean forward so he could get a better look at your face. his other hand remained in your hair, smoothing down the pieces that stuck up. you kissed his tip gently, giggling when his hips jerked at the movement.
“you’re still hard,” you noted, resting your head on his thigh, palm cushioning your cheek. “wanna go again or need a break?”
sakura’s ears flushed red, brows scrunching together in embarrassment. “you haven’t cum yet,” he scowled. you grinned at his response, finding how angry and sensitive he gets post-nut cute. you let him know as much, and watched as the rest of his face heated up. “just—give me a second. can’t feel my damn legs.”
“i can go on top,” you offered, not waiting for a response and shimmying your bottoms down your legs. sakura’s eyes zeroed in on the wet spot on your panties, mouth instantly going dry.
he stared in wonder at the string of slick connecting your underwear to your core, mind going numb at the way you straddled his lap. your fingers made quick work of stretching yourself out, and he felt himself grow harder, if possible. his eyes locked onto your hand, following your movement until you held your slick-coated fingers up to his face. almost unconsciously, he opened his mouth and whimpered at your taste.
deeming yourself ready, you lined up sakura’s cock to your entrance, giggling to yourself at the way his eyes seemed to roll to the back of his head.
“wait, grab a—oh, fuck,” he grunted out at the feeling of your wet heat enveloping his bare cock. you sunk down slowly, pausing every few seconds to let yourself adjust to his size. “get off—‘m not wearing a condom.”
you ignored him, eyes focused on the way your hole sucked him in. sakura’s hands found their way to your waist, squeezing in warning at the way you rut your hips against his.
“oh, you like it raw, huh?” you teased, gasping when the blunt head of his cock nudged the sensitive spot inside you. you continued moving slowly, opting to circle your hips over bouncing on his cock.
suddenly, you found yourself on your back on the floor, the buttons of your forgotten skirt digging uncomfortably into your shoulder. sakura hovered over you, arms shaking in exertion and breaths coming out in heavy pants. the way you were grinding on him almost sent him over the edge, balls tightening at the way your tits moved over him. he couldn’t help the way he manhandled you, any more and he would’ve came in seconds.
“wait,” he breathed out, forehead leaning down to rest on your collarbones. you felt so tight and wet, pussy squeezing him in a vice grip. your arms circled his neck, fingers playing with the hair at his nape, tugging slightly at his lack of movement.
“i said i’d go on top,” you complained, lifting your hips up in an attempt to get some sort of friction from sakura’s still body.
“and i said wait,” he repeated, body slowly beginning to move against yours. you let out a small moan at the feeling of his cock dragging through your walls, trailing off into a high pitched gasp at the feeling of his fingers on your clit. “acting like no condom wasn’t a big deal,” he growled out, hips snapping roughly against yours. you squealed at a particularly rough thrust, fingers tightening in his hair as you pulled.
“feels good, doesn’t it, haru?” you cooed out, clenching as hard as you could. his thrusts stuttered, a hand coming up to steady himself against you.
“enough,” he breathed against your neck. “let me make you feel good too.”
suo hayato (wc: 0.9k)
⸻ edging, hair pulling, toys (vibrator), dacryphillia, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, pet names (sweetheart, pretty girl)
you thought you knew better than to accept any kind of challenge or proposal from your boyfriend, knowing that every idea that ever left his head was usually for his own benefit. but for once, you were determined to win a bet.
for the past what felt like hours, you had been trapped under suo, writhing as he held a vibrator to your clit and his tongue explored inside you.
the promise of raw sex on the condition that you don’t cum had you holding on to your last shred of sanity, eyes clouded over but focused on a shadow on the ceiling. you’re sure the bedsheets were soaked underneath you, the slick feeling of your juices running down your thighs and almost to your knees.
“five more minutes,” suo mused from between your legs, the bottom half of his face shining, covered in your slick. “you’re doing better than i expected, aren’t you?”
you whimpered in response, knowing that not responding at all would have suo doing everything he could to make you cum. he grinned at the sound, diving back into you and clicking the vibrator to a higher setting. your body jerked up, but the one hand holding your hip kept you from jolting into suo’s mouth.
“uh-uh,” he tutted, pulling away from you. you whined at the loss of contact, but made sure to keep your hips planted firmly on the bed. if you even attempted to chase after his fingers or mouth, you’re sure he would’ve edged you for a few more hours. “you were so close, there. what a shame.”
suo made quick work of flipping you over, chuckling at the hazy look in your eyes. you hardly noticed the way he manhandled you, head reeling from the orgasm he ripped away from you. but the familiar rip of foil behind you brought you back to reality, head whipping back to stare at suo holding a condom.
“hayato…” you whined, tears lining your eyes. “but you promised you wouldn’t…” he had you bent over, one hand running up and down your side while the other held your wrists together behind your back.
“i don’t know, sweetheart,” suo teased from behind you, the hand caressing you paused to pinch your skin. “you also said you wouldn’t move at all.”
“i didn’t! p-please,” you hiccuped, tears already streaming down your face and smudging your mascara. “didn’t cum at all… promised i wouldn’t.”
you felt a hand come up to gently swipe underneath your eyes, unaware of the way suo’s pants tightened at the sight of your tears.
“i know,” he said simply. “if i wanted you to cum, you would’ve. try again and ask nicely.”
“wanna cum on your cock,” you choked out, words garbled with the steady stream of tears. “please don’t use it…” your voice trailed off into light sobs, eyes focused on the condom and hands attempting to break out of his hold.
“that wasn’t hard, was it?” suo relented, taking pity on you. he slipped the open packet into one of your hands, relishing in the way you crumpled it in your grip and the dopey smile that appeared on your face.
the sound of his zipper already had you salivating. he still held your hands together behind your back, so you could only imagine what he was doing to finally free his aching cock.
you could feel him behind you, his leaking tip lining up at your entrance and thrusting in in one smooth movement. the high you’ve been chasing for the past hour finally came when he bottomed out, cock nudging at your cervix. your head fell forward, mouth dropping into a soundless scream while your pussy fluttered and squeezed around his dick.
he released your hands in order to hover himself over you fully, your own following to grip his wrists loosely.
“look at that…” you heard him mutter lowly, breath fanning across your shoulder. “you’re making a mess on my bed, pretty girl. i barely stuffed you and you already came.”
you pressed your cheek into the sheets, trying to catch your breath as you lay still for a moment. you gasped at the feeling of your head being lifted, suo’s hand buried into your hair as he turned you to face him.
“you want more?” he asked, pulling his hips all the way back until only the tip remained in you, before slamming all the way back in, balls hitting your clit in the perfect spot. your head fell slack again, drool dribbling from the corner of your mouth at the feeling. suo repeated his ministrations, snapping his hips into yours and leaning over to get a better look at your fucked out expression. “i asked a question.”
“wan’ more…” you slurred out, tongue lolling out as suo subtly angled his hips to hit the sensitive spot inside you. “want y’re cum inside…”
he stilled at that, dropping your hair and pushing your face into the bed. out of the corner of your eye, you could see the hand supporting himself grip onto the sheets tighter, knuckles almost turning white.
“better make sure you don’t regret that then, sweetheart.”
togame jo (wc: 0.8k)
⸻ overstimulation, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, squirting, pet names (baby, doll)
“y’look so pretty like this, baby,” togame whispered into your thigh, teeth lightly grazing over the sensitive skin. his eyes locked onto your glistening folds and he grinned, lightly blowing air on your sensitive clit. you jolted under the movement, a small whimper escaping from your lips.
“jo,” you hiccuped, spent from the previous orgasms he pulled out of you. you wriggled under his grasp, hands reaching down to tug his hair, a sad attempt of getting him to face you properly. “want you…”
taking pity on you, togame lifted himself up and hovered over you, arms caging you in as he pressed a light kiss to your lips. his cock slid against your core, blunt head occasionally catching your clit. you moaned softly, hips bucking against his in an attempt to create more friction.
“you already have me,” he grunted, eyes locked on to where you touched, entranced with the way your juices soaked his cock.
“want more,” you whined, hands coming up to dig into his shoulders. he hissed at the way your acrylics dug into his skin, already anticipating the marks you’d leave behind. not that he minded, though. “want you inside,” you moaned, legs moving to wrap around his waist and lock him in place.
he hissed at the feeling of your pussy pressing his cock to his abdomen, a big hand coming in between your bodies to press you down against the bed. he ignored the whimper you made at the loss of contact, instead leaning down and capturing your lips in a searing kiss. “can’t today, baby. we’re out of condoms,” he whispered against your lips once he pulled away, a string of saliva connecting you.
“don’t care, i wanna feel you,” you whispered back, turning your head slightly to press light butterfly kisses to his face.
togame short circuited at your words, thoughts of your pussy dripping with his cum instantly plaguing his mind. his hips stuttered against yours before halting completely, cock pressing directly against your clit.
“don’t say that,” he groaned, head falling forward to rest against yours. “can’t control myself if you say shit like that.”
you squirmed under his weight, hands weakly pushing at his shoulders to get him to look at you. you couldn’t push him even if you tried, but you looked so pretty trying to get his attention that he lifted himself up anyway.
“why not?” you blinked up at him, tears of frustration gathering in your waterline.
togame groaned again, simultaneously feeling turned on and guilty at the thought of you crying. “don’t think i can pull out, baby.”
“who cares?” you pouted, a few tears escaping and trailing down your cheek. “can’t you just cum inside?”
he shuddered at your words, cock somehow getting bigger. he could never say no to you. “you sure?”
you nodded, still hiccuping from the tears while your hands looped around his neck. “want you inside now.”
togame couldn’t control himself any longer, the image of your spent pussy pushing out his seed plagued his mind. instantly, he had your legs tossed over his shoulders and sheathed himself inside you in one thrust.
you squealed at the intrusion, the new position allowing him to reach deeper than he usually does. the lack of protection between you had you feeling extra sensitive, the vein on the underside of his cock dragging against your entrance every time he thrusted in.
“you’re so wet,” he groaned, throwing his head back. your pussy fluttered at his deep voice, walls clamping down on him. “fuck, did you just get tighter? don’t—don’t squeeze me like that, baby.”
“‘s deep,” you slurred, mouth falling open when he tapped them. you closed your lips around the three fingers he gave you, moaning and salivating at the feeling of two holes being stuffed.
his other hand was positioned between you, heavy thumb resting on your clit, pressing extra hard when he thrusted back inside you. in no time, you felt your nth orgasm approaching, but this one felt a little different than the ones from earlier.
“wait! ‘s too much!” you moaned out, eyes snapping open and hands situating themselves on togame’s abdomen as you tried to push him away. “y’re too big, feels funny!”
he angled his hips slightly, rutting against the sensitive spot inside you as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. the pressure of his cock dragging along your walls and his thumb on your clit had you seeing stars. your orgasm came crashing down on you, pussy forcing togame’s cock out of you as you gushed, juices covering his abdomen.
“shit, you’re so messy,” he groaned, watching in awe at the mess you made. he spread your legs again, easing himself back inside your fluttering hole. your body shook at the overstimulation, whining at the feeling of his cock filling you again
“you said you wanted to feel me, doll,” togame said, pausing to lick a long stripe up your ear. “stay nice and still for me, ‘kay? we’re not done til your pretty cunt’s filled with my cum.”
kaji ren (wc: 1.1k)
⸻ semi-public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of birth control pills
“cut it out,” kaji hissed, one hand coming up to squeeze your jaw as a warning while the other tried to stop your fingers from undoing his pants zipper. the two of you squeezed in on the same side of a booth in some family restaurant downtown, but the sight of him punching a creep who tried hitting on you earlier had you squirming and squeezing your thighs together the whole walk there.
“y’re really trying to do this now?” he muttered in disbelief, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“but you looked so good earlier,” you mumbled out, cheeks still squished together. “we haven’t fucked in, like, a week. missed your dick.”
an audible crunch echoed in the area, you tilted your head up slightly and watched as he swallowed thickly before spitting out the stick of his lollipop on the table.
“you keep doing this shit,” he groaned, ears turning red. “couldn’t’ve waited til we got home? fucksake,” despite his words, kaji adjusted his grip from your hand to your wrist, roughly pulling you up and dragging you to the restroom in the back, weaving through tables, over stray bags and a few legs sticking out.
he pushed the bathroom door open unceremoniously, eyes doing a quick sweep of the area before he turned to you for approval. “clean enough?”
your heart swelled at the consideration and you had half the mind to actually start swooning. instead, you pressed yourself into his back, smiling at his behavior before nodding. “mhm. you’re so cute.”
you could feel him stiffen in front of you, grip on your wrist tightening enough to hurt, before he slammed you against the closed door. his lips attached to yours, tongue forcing your lips open as a hand snaked down to your other lips.
he paused his movement eyes widening at what he felt under your skirt. “why are you wearing this shit…?” he mumbled, feeling lace and a concerning amount of fabric—barely any, to be exact.
“always wanna look my best for you,” you batted your eyes at him, grinning at the way his jaw clenched. the smile slipped off your face at the rip that echoed off the walls. you looked down to see half your panties in kaji’s hand and the other half slowly fluttering down to the floor. you gaped at the sight, jaw dropping in disbelief that your boyfriend actually ripped your underwear.
he ignored you, dropping down to his knees and lifting your skirt up. his eyes were situated on your leaky hole, mesmerized by the juices that were slowly trailing down your thigh.
“don’t have time to stretch you out properly. c’you handle it?” he asked, two fingers already prodding at your entrance. your knees buckled, arms flailing out to catch yourself on the wall to your left.
“s’okay, two’s enough,” you gasped out, feeling him press against the spongy spot inside you. “d’you have a condom? didn’t put a new one after last time.”
it was silent for a second, the squelching from between your legs pausing as kaji patted himself down for his wallet.
“didn’t bring it,” he grumbled. “shoulda waited til we got home.”
you felt your disappointment rise, even more so when kaji stood up and zipped his pants back up.
“wait, actually, can’t we go without it?” you proposed, instantly feeling defensive at kaji’s frown. “‘s not like i’m gonna get pregnant.”
his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
“got on the pill last month. can’t you just fuck me now?”
kaji swore under his breath, muttering to himself about how demanding you were, but the bulge in his pants was more than obvious to how he felt.
“keep your mouth shut, got it?” he asked, arms looping under your thighs to hoist you up and set you against the sink counter. you gripped onto his shoulders, pressing a kiss into his cheek at the motion.
“you’re the best!” you sang into his ear.
“shut up,” he mumbled, wrestling with his boxers to pull his cock out as you flipped your skirt up. “can’t believe the first time i’m fucking you raw’s in a public bathroom.”
“can’t believe you’re fucking me in a public bathroom,” you countered, gasping when you felt his cock nudge at your entrance.
“you were the one getting handsy out there, i don’t wanna hear shit from you,” and with one swift movement, kaji bottomed out completely.
you let out a loud moan at the feeling, your pussy struggling to take him in due to the lack of prep, walls stretching uncomfortably around his length. “keep going,” you whined when his hips instantly stilled.
“i told you to keep quiet.”
“sorry, ren,” you breathed out, head resting on his shoulder. “been a while. y’feel bigger than usual.”
his grip on your thigh tightened, probably enough to leave hand-shaped bruises. kaji started rutting into you, not fully pulling out but enough for you to start getting used to his size. one of his hands found your clit, causing you to squeal and jerk forward into him. he stopped moving again, his other hand coming up to snake around your neck and squeeze.
“keep your mouth shut,” he rasped, sweat gathering along his forehead and dripping down his neck. he breathed out onto your neck, an attempt at grounding himself.
“you gonna cum? two pump chump?” you teased, breath hitching at the new angle he was thrusting at.
“shut up. y’re fucking tight. ‘m never using a condom again,” he grunted out, panting right below your ear.
his praise went straight to your core, coupled with his strong thrusts and messy circles on your clit, your orgasm crashed down on you. you couldn’t help the moan that ripped its way past your lips, breath getting caught when kaji warningly squeezed your neck.
the lack of oxygen made you dizzy, walls clamping down on kaji at the stimulation. his thrusts became more erratic, cock slamming into you as he shot his load inside. his thrusts slowed as your cunt milked him of the last of his cum, your body twitching from the way he used your body.
“can’t believe you ripped my underwear,” you grumbled, standing up awkwardly in an attempt to keep kaji’s cum inside you. “you owe me a new pair.”
his hands came up to stabilize you, letting you lean into him as you caught your breath. a drop of his cum dripped out of you directly onto the bathroom floor. his eyes locked onto it, trailing up until they landed at the mixture of his and your cum leaking out of you.
shit, was he hard again?
“shut up,” he growled, face heating up. your ripped panties secured in his jacket pocket. “be grateful i didn’t plug you with that shit.”
umemiya hajime (wc: 0.7k)
⸻ size difference, belly bulge, unprotected sex (good girl, angel, pretty girl)
umemiya always thought you were pretty, but something about you in this position, spread out for him, had his heart swelling a little more than usual.
“where do you want me?” he breathed out, gently nosing your cheek and chuckling at the way you murmured his name. his fingers gently traced your folds, relishing in the way your body jerked at his touch.
“‘dun care,” you sniffled, tears pooling in your eyes. “jus’ want you, haji.”
umemiya’s jaw clenched at the admission, and he couldn’t help the way he ground his clothed dick against your exposed core. the friction of his jeans causing you to cry out and grip onto his shoulders.
“take ‘em off,” you whined, one hand snaking down to paw at his belt. “…please.”
“tell me where you want me first, pretty girl,” he cooed, pants getting impossibly tighter at the way you opened your eyes and peered innocently up at him.
“want you everywhere,” you admitted, hands coming up to cover your face as your cheeks heated up.
ume let out a curse under his breath, breath hitching at how cute you were being. you were laid bare for him, everything stripped from your body and multiple orgasms drawn out by him and you still felt shy.
“good girl,” he groaned, hands reaching down to finally remove his pants. despite your previous embarrassment, you sat up and laid your hands over his own, wanting to help him undress.
“wanna help you feel good, too,” you murmured shyly, cheeks heating up. umemiya had to stop himself from throwing his head back and groaning at the sight of you in front of him. “can i?”
“next time, angel,” he choked out, gently pushing you to lay back as he hovered over you. “let me feel you first, yeah?”
he lowered himself, pressing gentle kisses to your face as he began rutting against you, cock sliding messily through your folds. “feels big…” you muttered, pupils dilating the longer you stared at the man on top of you. “can it fit?”
ume felt himself get harder, if that was even possible, at your innocent tone. your teary eyes staring up at him tugged on his heart as he dropped down again to press a deep kiss to your lips.
“i’ll fit,” he’s confident. with how good you’ve been for him all night how could he not be? “trust me and i’ll take care of you, pretty girl.”
you clenched around nothing at the name, pussy already leaking all over his cock. “i trust you, haji,” you whispered out.
“open wide and relax f’me, okay?” his hands pushed your thighs further apart, pussy now on full display. his eyes locked onto your glistening hole, tongue darting out to wet his lips at the sight.
umemiya slowly started to ease himself in, holding himself back from thrusting in completely. the way your walls were stretching to fit him had him dizzy, head spinning from the grip you had on his cock. and the noises you made were downright sinful, whimpers and moans escaping your lips, your hand clamped over your mouth to muffle the sounds—oh, that’s no good.
“don’t hide,” he grunted out, gently bringing your hand down. “i wanna hear those pretty noises.”
he pushed in as much as he could, cock drenched in your juices until he met resistance a little more than halfway in. you squealed at the feeling, head thrown back and back arched as he filled you.
“it‘s too much!” you cried out suddenly, walls seizing against him. he pressed a hand to your belly, eyes widening at the bulge he felt and saw peeking through your skin.
umemiya leaned down to press another kiss to your lips, peppering your face in them as a few tears escapes your eyes.
“you can take it,” he encouraged, groaning at the way you tightened around him. he eased the rest of his length into your heat, smiling at the way he completely disappeared inside you. “good girl—like that.”
he circled a finger lightly around your clit, not expecting it to throw you over the edge. you let out a high pitched moan, head thrashing and nails scratching down his arms as an orgasm washed over you. your walls squeezed him tighter, almost sucking him in.
“you already came, angel?” he asked, breathless from how tight you held on to him. “let me see you do that one more time.”
note: big fat thank u to anyone who made it to the end, hugs for u! kaji’s section being the longest… yeah drinking my clown juice rn. lmk ur thoughts!
#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker smut#sakura haruka x reader#sakura x reader#sakura haruka smut#sakura smut#haruka smut#haruka x reader#suo x reader#suo hayato x reader#suo smut#suo hayato smut#hayato smut#togame x reader#togame jo x reader#togame smut#togame jo smut#kaji x reader#kaji ren x reader#kaji smut#kaji ren smut#umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya smut#umemiya hajime smut#ume x reader#windbreaker smut#wind breaker#wind breaker satoru nii#ᝰ writing
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