#when the gay man and the bi woman act like a straight couple

[luc3ks]

noooo it should've been me not him

[spro-o]

i noticed that in your art you referred to gowther as auncle and that had me kicking my feet so may you please spare your nnt gender/sexuality headcanons and fave ships? hope your exams have gone/are going well and that you have a great weekend :D

*laughs evilly* yes,,,, my time to shine,,, >:3

thank you very much for the ask!! indeed i would love to share my queer hcs and favourite ships for the gang!!

hcs (heads up, some references to horny preferences)

Meliodas:

trans man (he/him) (im not projecting, trust) (lie)

pansexual

he has a very high libido/pervy tendencies, yes, but also an equally strong potential for romantic love - i do think of him as quite the possessive/protective type on a very deep emotional level, he just covers it up by acting like a perv all the time (something something traumatised and doesnt want others to see him caring for people since he fears they will take them away from him)

top-leaning switch and much freakier than his appearances may lead some to believe

Diane:

cis woman (she/her)

bisexual

has definitely kissed elizabeth multiple times on their "girl's nights/sleepovers"

the type to blush and fawn over every woman in existence,,,, and her husband too ig

pegs king on the regular

Ban:

masc-alligned genderqueer (he/they) (not projecting again) (another lie)

bisexual

finds men and women attractive at about an even ratio

he picks his clothing to be so slutty for a reason (queer signalling + hes a sucker for that kind of attention, though he might act like he doesnt care) (he cares most when said attention comes from meliodas, which is affirmed every time mel takes the chance to feel him up)

bottom-leaning switch and the most masochistic masochist you ever will meet

King:

cis man (he/him)

bisexual (god damn all these bitches bi ‼️‼️)

i think we all know how king discovered his like of men (,,, cough,, helbram,,)

yeah helbram definitely pull a couple of those 'leaning in for a kiss/doing some other gay shit' stunts as a joke and was like haha got you and king was just sat there, bright red, blood streaming down his nose

denied these stunts had any effect on him whatsoever

gets pegged by diane on the regular

Gowther:

non-binary (they/them) (intersex??? i mean, theyre a doll, probably got interchangeable parts lmao)

demisexual and demiromantic gay/queer

they dont really have a specific label to describe what genders theyre attracted to, its just sorta 'anything goes if we vibe', and its gay either way, so they keep it broad

as mentioned, theyre referred to by gender-neutral titles, but dont mind the occasional "miss ma'am" for comedic effect

tends to prefer bottoming, but not exclusively

Merlin:

nb trans woman (she/they)

aro-spec lesbian

shes never had much luck or want for romantic relationships but has definitely had her fair share of thotin around with women

very skilled at rizzing up said women, but its really a 50/50 whether shes doing so to get someone laid or to acquire her next social-experiment subject (whom she will also probably dick down later, who knows)

Escanor:

cis man,,,, he/him

straight,,

sorry yall, gotta have the token straight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tho i do hc as being aware of the fact that merlin wont return his feelings, but having accepted that, so all the poetry he writes for her is more of a sign of appreciation of her as a friend, and not as an attempt to hit on her

Bonus!!

Elizabeth:

cis woman (she/her)

pansexual

the type to have gotten so so many crushes when she was younger,,, finding everyone really attractive and charming, and as a result being the most easily flustered person ever

as each sin rejoined the group, shed have her mandatory moment of "oh god,,,, its another very very hot/attractive person"

switch, but very gentle and caring no matter the position

Elaine:

demigirl (she/they)

sapphic

very easily flustered (extremely weak for elizabeth)

pillow princessing all over the place

Zeldris:

non-binary (he/they/xe)

bisexual, with a preference for women

tends to be pretty resistant to flirtatious remarks and whatnot, but is the absolute weakest when its from gelda (professional simp /pos)

,,,, also a massive bottom, but i digest

Gelda:

trans woman (she/her, also doesnt mind they/them)

demiromantic bisexual

knows exactly the effect she has on zeldris, but loves pretending she has no idea

shell say "oh, sorry just need to grad a book from the shelf behind you" and then get her boobs as close to zel's face as possible without making skin contact, and stay there until xe's gone bright red

hung

ships:

Melban - obviously, this one goes kinda goes without saying for me. i absolutely love the dynamic between these two, and their shared history as well. they are both very much sick in the head and have so many issues they each struggle with, but at the same time they cant take anything seriously. there are countless interactions between them which are just so so homoerotic, if not just really sweet. these two quite literally will go to hell and back for the other without a second thought, and i adore that (say its bros bein dude all you want, you cant convince me they didnt fuck in purgatory and on many other occasions)

Elilaine - theyre like melban but less punchy, more of the "normal about expressing love for the other". i know there arent many deep interactions between Elizabeth and Elaine, but i just, once again, think that they have a really adorable dynamic and would just make for the most lovely couple (with equally deceivingly harmless looks, but very much the potential to whoop ass if need be)

Geldris - these two, despite canonically being just a straight couple, are one of the most queer duos in the damn series,,, they just are, man, idk. big fan of them both being very gothic and stuff, and obviously im a sucker for how much zeldris buckles at the knees for anything gelda does,,, love them

Hendreyfus - old,,, old man yaoi my beloved (i just think theyre really adorable and are like and old married couple - very cutes!!) (also yeah old men)

i also do love the rarepair (? polycule) of all time, that being melban x elilaine,,, we should have seen more interactions between mel and elaine, and between ellie and ban!! they definitely got up to all sorts of stuff, i just know it

anyways!! thank you very much for the ask!! thankfully i only have one more exam left on monday and then im free from those :,) i hope you have a lovely day!! :D

[davekat-sucks]

"You can still think he is bi and ship him with whatever girl you like. Fuck what the fandom thinks. Just do what you like." Another banger from davekat-sucks. Sometimes I feel like you're the most sane person in this fandom, I swear to god. Unpopular opinion on Dirk's sexuality and identity: He canonically does not like to label himself. It's in the comic and in his own words. People can cite him saying that he felt like Jake was the only option and Roxy calling him the gayest man in the universe or whatever, but neither of these things means that the man is 100% homosexual. Maybe he felt like Jake was the only option because Jake was just plain the only one he felt a romantic attraction to. Maybe sometimes friends say shit like "you're the gayest person ever" as, like, a joke, or maybe it could have been wishful thinking on Roxy's part since him not being gay might make his rejection of her hurt more. I don't know. It's never explicitly stated. Isn't it possible that Dirk is homoflexible, or maybe even pan? I just don't get people being mad because someone wants to imagine Dirk and Jade kiss or something. It's also funny to see people being all about headcanoning him as transfem/genderqueer or turning him into the daintiest sluttiest girliest twink of all time while pissing their pants about stuff like this. Isn't hypermasculinity and being a man a big part of who he is? Why is making him a woman/feminine okay, while making him hold hands with Kanaya or something is a homophobic hate crime? If we're playing in this space, is it not a little hypocritical? If shipping him with a woman is homophobic why isn't it homophobic to make "the only canonically gay man" into a girl or a flamboyant stereotype? On a smaller note, I know that you've talked about this before, but the same people who freak out about this stuff are the people who totally erase Dave's identity as a bisexual man and say that he's completely gay. He's expressed interest in women (an understatement), and he's dated them. I'm starting to think that people just hate bi men. I want to understand the logic that these people are using.

Yep, Dirk did say that when speaking with Roxy.

Another reason for him to say this as well is to try and remind the readers that both Roxy and Dirk are in an apocalyptic setting that caring about terms of sexuality, is pointless if they don't want to be dead. The world has gone to shit, so things like that don't mean anything anymore. I bet Hussie was trying to point that out when the fandom would only talk about the kids' sexuality despite the bigger shit going on in the plot, but sadly, it was lost on readers back then. Part of Dirk being masculine is also in part because he looks up to Alpha Bro, DAVE STRIDER. If people want to blame anyone for making Dirk manly, blame Dave himself or another version of himself, for only portraying himself as this that Dirk thinks it is right to try be in that same standards. People had blamed Bro for this with Dave, so why don't we do the same for Dirk and Alpha Dave? The fandom stereotyping Dirk into the stereotypical effeminate gay guy, is hilarious when they are the same people that bitch about being in other media. They want their supposed LGBT rep to be taken seriously and not used for a joke. And yet they would apply it to other characters that don't act like this in different series. At this point, what more do these fucking people want? Another is that most of the fandom probably wants to have that 'gay best friend' because they think they can be cool with them and also have them as their excuse of why they aren't homophobic this or that. Kind of like how claiming to have a POC friend doesn't make you racist. The Homestuck fandom, or fandoms in general in this modern time, just hate bisexuals in general. Any sign of straight couples from character(s) that are comfortable in both sexes, pisses people off. Some claiming that two persons of same sex being close only for not to end up together, is queerbait. Whether or not evidence was there in the first place. I even recalled the Steven Universe fandom was livid when they heard Rebecca Sugar, the creator herself, was bisexual. People assume she was lesbian because of the TV show she created. The thought of her still liking guys infuriated them. At that point, I wonder what does the B in LGBT means if said people who claim to be all supportive for LGBT, hate bisexual relationships. Just because a bisexual person chooses to be with someone of their opposite sex, doesn't mean it automatically means they are straight and can't go back to bisexual. It's ridiculous. That kind of one way street thinking is stupid.

[anonymous-tals]

I wrote some of this in another post but I just wanted to expand on it since I think it’s an interesting subject.

(Also, just putting this upfront, I feel the necessity of clarifying, obviously, bisexual is it’s own identity, it isn’t just a pit stop on the way to someone realizing they’re gay, I’m just talking about trying to figure out who you like or perhaps don’t like being a part of figuring out your sexuality)

The Buster saying Gob might be bisexual moment has been commonly viewed as definitive but personally, I don’t think it was meant to be an answer to the question of Gob’s sexuality. I think it was answering a different question by being one half of an entirely new question. Before, it was “Is he gay or straight?”, the straight option ruling out Gob loving Tony in a gay-umbrella-term way. Just friends. Besties, even. Just a couple of dudes…But we know that’s not true. They are not just a couple of dudes. They are dudes who want to be a couple. So by rewriting it to make it “Is he gay or bisexual?”, that answers “Is Gob’s love for Tony real and very gay-umbrella-term?” with a yes, yes it is. But now, there is a new question that’s been proposed: is he attracted to men and women or just men?

I’m inclined to believe it’s just men.

(I’m not gonna go super in depth cause this has already been discussed so much and I don’t want to be redundant but there are certain elements I haven’t seen discussed that I’ve personally thought about so that’s what this is for)

Gob really does not come across like a bisexual character to me. If he was written as bisexual, I feel like that would’ve been shown more, ya know(for those who know the character, I’m thinking of how they wrote Daryl in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)? It would’ve a question of “Why do I find both groups attractive?” rather than “Why can’t I find one of these groups attractive?” I mean, the writers know the term bisexual and if that was the intention, why would they include how he hasn’t slept with a women since Tony and all the scenarios in which he’s uncomfortable with and avoiding being with women? And it’s not just that Joni is older and has weird fake boobs or that Kitty is repulsive to him. The woman at the conversion therapy place is very conventionally attractive and still, even though he genuinely tries to be all charming and flirt, he can’t get himself to commit and promptly walks away, very uncomfortable and disinterested(but that ‘t’ necklace she’s wearing does remind him of a certain someone he is attracted to). And it’s not like it’s a being dedicated to Tony so much that he can’t make comments about other people or find others attractive, either. He calls one of the closet guys cute, someone pointed out how he checks out Adhir at one point. The guy foxes thing, even. But again, when it comes to women, whenever he tries anything, he gets uncomfortable and/or leaves or tries to leave the situation. I mean, he can at times hardly even lie about sleeping with and being attracted to women. And it’s not just season five: when you look at all his relationships with women throughout the whole show, it’s night and day compared to how he acts with Tony. And Tony’s not the first partner he’s had that believes in him and is supportive of and nice to him. The difference is that he’s a man.

Another thing, I’ve seen the closet scene, the fact that they were gonna be going in and out of closets, viewed as, like, a metaphor for Gob being bi but the thing is, we literally see that Gob gets out of the gay closet and can’t get back into the straight closet no matter how much he tries, which echoes his arc in the show and is emblematic of what I’ve already mentioned throughout this. Ever since Gob developed feelings for Tony and they had sex and he had this realization, he’s been trying desperately to force himself to be straight or, hell, just like women at all, but it never works because he is gay.

*And frankly, I interpreted Buster saying that Gob might be bisexual as him just coming to the conclusion that Gob is bi based on what Gob told him. I have to believe that Buster knew to some extent that Gob liked guys. I mean, he saw him around Tony during the Sword of Destiny stuff. He saw how Gob talked to Tony and about Tony. Plus, Buster's the only one who ever truly payed attention to him, like, actually listened, so I'm sure he noticed other things too and Michael literally shouted, "I knew it!" so I feel like it's realistic to believe this wasn't exactly a well kept secret. And in season five, when Gob is talking to Buster about how he's gonna turn himself back to being straight because he's not to gay but, ya know, it's obvious to Buster that Gob is definitely not straight, in Buster’s mind, perhaps what's confusing his older brother, who seems to be identifying with both straight and gay, is that he likes both men and women. I mean, from Buster's perspective, that would make sense, especially given the lifetime of bragging about sleeping with women that Gob has done. But we have information and insight that he doesn’t and when you look at the show as a whole, the situation doesn’t read as Gob being confused because he likes both men and women and thinks he has to choose, it reads as Gob in a last ditch effort to convince himself he’s not gay and likes women.

I’m pretty sure at the time, there was a possibility of another season or a movie or something and I’m sure this would’ve been delved into more there. Because of the whole “the feeling was friendship” thing, a lot of people did not get that they were actually in love(including me, I’m very oblivious and gullible) and I think a lot of this season was spent making sure that was clear, that they did really love each other and not as just friends. They even in their ending scene together, say that they can’t be friends, which someone else(I can’t remember who but credit to whoever it was) pointed out that it seemed like a subtle way for the writers to show that they aren’t just friends, they’re doing gay stuff together cause they like dudes. But even without a following season or movie, I think we already have sufficient information spanning the entirety of the show that answers whether Gob is gay or bisexual and in my opinion, Gob is gay.

And of course, if you think he’s bi, hell yeah, that’s cool, you do you. This isn’t meant to stomp all over your hc. These are just my thoughts on this subject.

Edit:

*Just thought I should add this since my interpretation of this specific scene has changed after @theflannelwizard pointed this out(this was a bit ago now but I hadn’t thought to add it until now). My conclusion is still the same, I just feel the need to amend this specific part:

Really, I don’t know how I didn’t, like, think about this until it was pointed out to me, it’s so obvious now that that was the joke.

Also just another addition, cause I somehow completely forgot about this when I wrote this, there were the, like, two weeks(? whatever the span of time was) where him and his dad went all across Mexico with the specific intention of getting with women and Gob couldn’t get himself to do anything with a single woman and was struggling to even feign interest.

And then another thing with Gob finding other dudes attractive, on top of the other stuff I mentioned, he also calls up the Hot Cops at one point to schedule them to come over. So again, it’s not like he’s so dedicated to Tony that it’s impossible for him to find others attractive and express that. With men, he’s comfortable doing that, but with women, he is not.

[alarrytale]

Opening the Shiall theme, what about Niall’s gf? Do you think she’s a beard or they are really dating? Like until now I thought they are real couple but all those Niall’s queercoding theories and Shiall, I’m not sure anymore.

Oh and btw it’s funny how Shawn posted about how he’s in Paris attending Fashion Week and in the evening he was in London as Niall’s guest and nobody saw it coming. It’s just funny how these celebrieties can move under the radar and make it look like they are somewhere while they are anywhere else.

Hi, anon!

When i say i have no idea, i have no idea. He's publicly in a long term relationship with a woman, so that either means it's legit or it means it's bearding. It's not for PR. I haven't observed them together so i don't know how he acts around her, how his body language is around her etc. If he's bi/pan then i would think it would be very hard to tell if it's fake or real because i'd assume he'd be able to show attraction rather than hesitation/repulsion (like we see with H and L with women). I wouldn't have though a bi/pan man would need a beard, except if he was in a relationship with a man.

Niall is straight passing and don't fit perfectly into any gay stereotype. He's also the only 1D member who i've never heard stories of with men (true or not). There have been bi rumours about him since day one in 1D, but i think he's the first person anyone would point to when asked to identify a straight member of 1D.

On the other hand he is queercoding, with the one earring, the hanky and the men kissing t-shirt. He's openly lgbt+ supportive and the man is the opposite of toxic masculinity. He's also, to me, showing visible attraction to Shawn, a gay man imo. He's also shown behaviour towards other men that i struggle to understand if is attraction or simply deep admiration. So in short i have no clue.

About them moving around unnoticed. If there are hours enough in the day to make a trip, then you shouldn't rule out the possibility they did it. There are plenty of time to make a two and a half hour trip to London from Paris after attending a fashion show at 11 am to play a show at 9 pm. You'll have hours to spare as well.

[ariazureyt]

Our Flag Means Death made me realize I’m Bi

TLDR: The gay pirates show made me realize I’ve been in denial about being bi

I (26F) came into the show completely blind only knowing the basic premise, and that there were some queer characters.

Even though I knew the show has queer characters, Ed and Stede falling in love never occurred to me at all. All of the hints to Stede and Ed’s relationship in Season 1 were completely lost on me. Ed watching over Stede while he recovers, changing clothes, “you wear fine things well,” the treasure hunt, Lucius saying “this is happening,” their boots touching, and Stede jealous of Calico Jack. All of that whooshed past me.

I simply saw season 1 as Ed and Stede becoming a platonic friend odd couple. I had to watch memes and TikToks to realize that they were flirting with each other throughout season 1. I feel so embarrassed that I didn’t notice what everyone else was seeing.

I was feeling like Stede when he called himself a “terrible pirate” after surviving getting stabbed and hanged by the Spaniards. I was feeling like I can’t be queer if I couldn’t notice that Ed and Stede liked each other.

But after I thought about it, I figured out that I was blocking out the scenes of them flirting with each other. I rejected thinking about Ed and Stede’s relationship like I’ve been doing with my own sexuality. I didn’t want to think about myself being queer, so I didn’t think about Stede and Ed being queer. Even when I knew that the show is gay, I still mentally blocked out any gay-coded scenes.

My initial viewing of the show made me realize that I was in denial about my own sexuality. I figured out that I was bi a couple years ago when I found a female cashier physically attractive, and I started flirting with her. But I second guessed myself. I thought that if I was bi, I would’ve figured it out as a teen. And even if I was, it doesn’t change anything in my life.

Watching the series caused me to confront my own sexuality like Ed and Stede. A part of me knows that I’m bi, but the other part doesn’t want to think about it. Ed wants to be Ed, but Blackbeard is all he knows. It’s easier to be Blackbeard. It’s easier to see myself as straight.

When I read AO3 fanfics, I’ve alway preferred same-sex pairings ie: Leon/Krauser (Resident Evil) or Guillermo/Nandor (What We Do in the Shadows). But when I write my own short stories, I default to my characters being straight and cis. I’ve always consumed queer media, but I could never bring myself to make my own queer work.

Watching OFMD made me realize my own unresolved internalized biphobia. Last year, I googled “internalized biphobia” after finishing my rewatch of the series and I ticked off almost every box. I thought I wasn’t bi, because I’m married to a cis man and have only ever dated men. I thought that I can’t celebrate pride month since I’m not dating another woman. I didn’t want to be bi. I didn’t want to think about all of the girls I found attractive but never acted on. I didn’t want to regret not realizing I’m bi. Just like Ed in denial about being heartbroken over Stede.

Relating to Ed and Stede scared me. How could I relate to gay pirates realizing that they’re gay?

I appreciate that the show was able to bring out my unresolved feelings. Being homophobic to myself is a hard thing to admit. I hope to one day be comfortable with myself and my sexuality. But for now, I’ll just write this:

I’m Ari, and I’m Bisexual! 🏳️‍🌈

[canichangemyblogname]

With about five days left of Pride Month, I want people to keep something in mind going forward: supporting queer rights in the public and political sphere does not mean you have created a safe and welcoming environment for queer people, especially in private spheres.

Glass closet jokes, implying real people can "queerbait," discourse around whether "straights" can be at pride, and comments like "are you sure you're not just a [insert any identity other than queer]" make personal spaces inhospitable to queerness and personal expression.

Glass closet jokes are often made at the expense of people who are gender non-conforming in some fashion. They reinforce stereotypes and gendered norms. People point to "stereotypical behavior" for evidence that they knew you were queer and, in the process, reinforce queerphobic ideas about how queer people act and present themselves. EX 1: me being told, "The closet is glass. I mean, you dress like a lesbian." Explain to me how a lesbian dresses without relying on misogynistic gender norms and lesbophobic stereotypes of queer women. EX 2: my (straight male) friend being told, "You paint your nails? Shit, there's no closet at this point. Just come out, bro." Explain to me how painting nails is gay without using gender norms to police men's self-expression and without resorting to queerphobic stereotypes. People need to do more to unlearn the idea that personal fashion taste is evidence of queerness.

Implying that real people can queerbait also polices self-expression. Real people might be closeted. Real people might be cis het and gender non-conforming. Real people will resist categorization and classification. Real people will not fit perfectly into societal ideas on how a man or woman should dress or present themselves. And real people should not feel pressured to present as the most stereotypical version of their assigned gender or "straightness," lest they be bombarded with people critiquing their choices and spamming their photos with comments that read "egg moment" or "deNile is not just a river in Egypt" or "I know something you don't 🧚‍♀️ 💅." These types of comments are all just repackaged homophobia and transphobia. No one owes you coming out, and no one owes you conformity.

Discourse around whether "straights" can be at pride similarly ignores how some people are closeted and how queer people aren't going to act as how you think queer people "should." Recently, I saw a TikTok video of a pride event where a seemingly well-meaning individual was telling cis het people that they should not be at pride, all while videoing "couples" she assumed were "straight." First, don't video people without their consent. Second, this ignores the fact that there are queer people who date queer people of the opposite gender. For example, m/f bi couples and T4T couples exist. Third, this ignores the fact that there are gender non-conforming trans people. Trans people do not owe you SRS or HRT, or gender conformity. Fourth, this also ignores how there are gender non-conforming people in wLw and mLm relationships who often get mistaken for the opposite sex.

(EDIT: There is a conversation to be had between queer people about how LGBTQ+ safe spaces are becoming popular spots for people who are often offended by queerness or the assumption they might be queer. That conversation does not revolve around what I was critiquing here. That conversation instead revolves around how these are safe spaces, so if you don't like queerness, if queerness makes you uncomfortable, and if you are made uneasy by the assumption you might be queer in a queer space, then leave these spaces alone. I can personally attest that no one is offended by- say- an "ally" [me before I was out] sitting in a gay bar because they are their friends' designated driver.)

"Are you sure" questions straight-up invalidate an individual's identity. When someone "comes out" to you, it's not because they have just made a huge, new revelation about themselves or are possibly still unsure of themselves. Rather, it means they have deemed you safe enough to know about their identity or sexuality. They already knew this about themselves and likely have for some time. There is a good chance others know this about them, too. You are neither the first nor the last person they will tell. I have been asked by cis queers and cis hets alike, "Are you sure you're not just a woman who just hates femininity?" Yes. My gender and sexuality are not a result of what I wear or how "masculine" I am. And who said I hate femininity?

[heterophobicdyke]

The strange thing about having a "lesbian" friend that dates a totally passing tim and doesn't engage in any sex that includes his penis is coming to the conclusion that lesbians can be attracted to males under very ✨special✨ circumstances, and not the conclusion that perhaps her friend is actually straight or bi. Non of the details she gaves about her friend are convincing enough to indicate that she's a lesbian with an "exception", but do sound like a straight or bisexy woman that simply doesn't like to engage in sex that involves a penis. Like that literally is more plausible and likely to happen.

I'm a woman that's solely attracted to men yet I'm literally penis-repulsed. I used to be one of those straight women that watches lesbian porn because it's "more focused on female pleasure" and "males bodies are just not attractive!" (I don't watch porn anymore so don't worry). And I used to wonder if perhaps I was a lesbian or bisexual; there was even a time when the whole mogai crap was popular in tumblr where I was seriously identifying as heteroromantic homosexual (I wish I was kidding). Turns out I'm just not a fan of penises and hate every sex act that involves it in any way (specially fellatio and penis-in-anus), but all of my crushes and fantasies involve men. If I imagine myself kissing someone is always a man, and if I indulge in a sexual fantasy that I like (like cunnilingus) it's also with a man. Never a woman cause that doesn't turn me on in any way.

Also passing TIMs are scarce, a lot of them "pass" on social media due to heavy make up and retouching of photos, but the majority don't pass in real life. And if they do, it's pretty much always the gay ones, the OSA ones pretty much never pass lmao.

So I think it's more likely this friend is a osa woman that either a. Doesn't like penis-focused sex, or b. It's mostly/solely into receiving (like stone femmes but osa 😆).

yeah i think it was pretty heteronormative of milo to be like "my lesbian friend has a TIM bf and i think the lesbian is a lesbian bc she doesn't touch the penis or whatever" because sex isn't always about piv.... even among male/female couples. like that TIM going down on that "lesbian" is still sex between a male/female even if the male is wearing a dress and has a "nice" personality lmao

[outrunningthedark]

Maybe it’s just me but I’ve never really had hope for buddie to be confirmed in the first place. Like I do ship them and if they did I would be happily surprised but really it’s just never something I’ve entertained as a possibility and I don’t know where the people who believe it will happen have been but we just don’t get ships like this imo.Maybe there’s a few exceptions even if I can’t think about this right now but when a character’s introduced as straight or nothing has been said so we assume straight and then fandom ships them with an equally assumed straight person the show and networks and all that don’t want them together because they’re ‘normal straight people’. Like in LS from the beginning TK’s introduced with a bf he wants to propose to, they don’t lose their normal character since that was him from the start. Also if it’s acknowledged that all the buddie moments were building up to a romantic relationship then it sheds light on other similar relationships in other shows or films that we were ridiculed for shipping when really it’s not so different. I really don’t know if I got my point across here and I’m sorry this got so long winded, maybe I’m just a cynic but I think my buddie dreams will have to be contented with fanart and fic.

It's definitely not just you who has felt that way, lol. We hear it all the time, just more aggressively. To expand on what you said, the biggest piece of "evidence" in favor of this argument is that it's been six seasons and neither one's sexuality has been altered or allowed to evolve in the slightest. And it's not the opportunity wasn't there, right? Maddie and her "boy crush on Eddie" remark or saying she wouldn't want Josh to date her little brother. Then TK (falsely) assuming Buck was being flirtatious. Tim (he was the main show runner those years) could have said any of that meant something moving forward (maybe a "Buck is canonically bi, but we haven't explored that part of his story...we're waiting 'til it feels appropriate"), but the only part he addressed was the TK thing, and he connected to Tarlos since Carlos wasn't physically present. Compare that to Nancy becoming the first bi character of the 911verse. She came out while in a relationship with Mateo. She is still in that same relationship now. The show isn't trying to "prove" she's bisexual by having her hook up with or date a woman. It's just a part of who she is. And then there's the fact that all four (technically five, with David) queer men of the 911 verse (Michael, Josh, TK, Carlos) are written as gay, not bi. Tim & co. appear to have some *opinions* (thus far) about bi men, it seems. If they date a woman? Straight. Date a man? Not into women (never were). I will continue to say, though, that people are giving the network too much grief. The canon couples very rarely do anything intimate as the seasons progress, with Henren as the outlier because 6x06 was a flashback, so *if* anyone with influence was concerned about the optics, Tim has an "excuse" not to push things too far - that's not what the focus is anymore. And even *if* someone at the network was all "idk about this :/" that's still on Tim for dodging the discussion six years in. Get out ahead of it and the message would have been received much sooner - if you're against even one of these guys getting with a dude...this ain't the show you should be watching. Move along. (Tim has no problem putting LS fandom down, so I don't see why he'd act different with OG. TBH, it's either his own biases about Buck and Eddie as men that is keeping him from making them canon or it's similar to his reaction when the Tarlos fandom "complains" - he knows what's gonna happen if Buddie goes canon; they will dominate the discussion - he doesn't want the fandom giving their opinions or asking for content more than they do already.)

[jdeanmorgan]

i meaaan, i don't mind a few nsfw headcanons.. 👀

oh man.... i have quite a few of those...

putting them under a read more in case anybody doesn't want to see them. beware. this gets very nsfw.

buck is very pro-ass eating, chimney is firmly against it, bobby is like eh been there done that it's fine, hen is like eh good in the heat of the moment otherwise not into it, eddie is also firmly against it (until buck does it to him and he very much becomes an ass eating enthusiast).

I know I said chimney is straight but I think he defo shared a couple brojobs in college while drunk with his friend. chimney is someone i think is also just. really good in bed, i think he would go down on women for hours if allowed. like he truly does drink his respect women juice and he does so with his tongue. he just loves to worship a woman's body (specifically the woman he's in a relationship lol)

bathena are kinky and into roleplay which is canon but i also think athena has pegged bobby multiple times and that bobby actually loves it when she takes control. he's the sub, she's the domme.

bobby, buck and chimney aren't circumsized. eddie and ravi are.

Maddie has always been bi-curious but she's never acted on that because she was with doug for the longest time and then she fell for chimney, so she identifies as straight, mostly.

eddie is demisexual, but when he gets into a relationship with buck, it's like his sexual libido awakens and he becomes the kinkiest filthiest whore available (only for buck ofc).

buck is very much into sex in general, he's willing to have fun and try almost anything within reason, he definitely has a service kink and a praise kink. I think the nickname firehose wasn't just because of his dick-size, I do love the headcanon where it's because he just. leaks cum when he's turned on and stimulated. and when he does cum it's just. spurting out of him in big doses.

I think that's enough of my headcanons for now lmao (sorry for my lack of henren headcanons, i'm just... very queer in a gay mlm way rn)

[luc3ks]

🌆

wip

[trans-wojak]

Saw a Reddit post and was curious too see what your take is on it,

you aren’t gay if you’re not attracted to the same sex. And there are far too many self identifying men reclaiming what being gay actually is.

If you’re on the receiving end of a relationship with a cisgender man, and have vaginal sex, you’re literally just a woman in a straight relationship.

Calling yourself gay and having straight sex is a conundrum.

You can wear a binder, cut your hair short go by he/him pronouns but if your getting fucked like a women what is the point. To feel edgy? Or let’s say you chop your tits off, your just a women with no breasts.

Rapid onset gender dysphoria is very common especially with women who just want to be gay men. There’s far more gay transmen then there are straight transmen, it’s not just a coincidence it’s typicallly coupled together.

The pipeline goes from “I like guys but I don’t want to be straight :(“ So you identify as a man just so you can reclaim what being gay actually is. You’re just a woman cosplaying a dude.

There is no difference between tcutes and bottom gay transmen because they have same idea. They don’t wanna be labeled straight

And this goes for “bisexual” transmen too, typically says they’re bi but have a preference for men. It’s because you aren’t actually gay. Your a women appropriating gay men. Sexualizing us because you’re too uncomfortable being recognized as you are. A straight woman.

This was posted on a transmed page.

I’m a straight trans man so I was a little thrown off as if we don’t exist, Like there are straight trans men who don’t wanna be fucked, it’s not uncommon at all.

I feel like gay trans men and straight trans men aren’t that different other than their preference in relationships which isn’t really anyone’s business, I don’t know why this person is so pressed.

Sounds like it was written by a cis woman pretending to be a gay cis man to be honest. Or maybe a straight self hating trans man who wants to pretend he’s better than everyone else but still identifies as a lesbian lmao. Straight trans men are way more common, they just count tucutes in with gay trans men. “Rapid onset gender dysphoria” is pseudo science, too. It’s literally not real and no actual psychiatric research shows it is. Straight trans men tend to just stop attending LGBT spaces due to wanting to leave that all behind + often there is strong hatred for men, especially straight men in general in lgbt spaces.

I like that they never mentioned the fact that trans men go on hormone therapy and develop male sexual characteristics which makes them actually pass as male.

The way trans people have sex is personal. And this bullshit is just repackaging gender roles “you’re not a man if you’re a bottom” is something that has always existed in society. Sexist gender roles don’t magically go away when it’s a trans person and it’s redundant to apply the same notions of a non dysphoric woman who fetishises gay men onto actual gay trans men. This is why projecting the weird coomer “Transbian” stereotypes onto every trans woman who is lesbian.

The fact of the matter is, gay cis men don’t actually care about this stuff outside a few permanently online ones. The vast majority do not give a fuck that a trans man exists and if he uses his pussy for sex or not. And yes, many aren’t into that or even remotely interested but they misjudge just how much men don’t really.. bother caring so much they need to write full on reddit rant posts. And they misjudge just how much sexuality is fluid for men, too. Everyone goes on about how it is fluid for women but for men it is too. How many blokes are literally bisexual but claim it’s still straight because the guy wore a dress? Women will claim bisexuality purely cause they fantasise but have no desire to act on it. Men will deny bisexuality even tho they literally fuck other men.

Trans people are the exception, not the rule to sexuality.

I struggled with coming to terms with my sexual orientation because I’m older, I came out when trans wasn’t a fad or cool - neither was being gay/bi. Being gay and trans was almost unheard of, it made you questionable because they saw gay man = acting like a woman. It’s really weird. I am a gay man, how I have sex is no one else’s business to choose how to “validate” me. Like, are the only valid trans men who are stone and literally never get any pleasure physically, only from psychologically through using a strap? It’s silly.

The diff between me and tucutes is I actually have gender dysphoria, I have made actual medical interventions to change my sex. I don’t obsess over yaoi, fandom gay ships etc, I don’t act like gay male relationships reflect heterosexual dynamics, I don’t pretend there’s always the “girl” and the “guy” in a homosexual relationship. And gay men actually are attracted to me, aswell lmao.

[derschwabe08]

I assume it’s when they see what they perceive as a guy and a girl act like a couple at pride. Which just jas so many issues with it.

First of all it could be the "guy" who is bi and not the girl. Which brings up the question of why the assumption is that it’s only bi girls bringing their boyfriends? Well tbf the answer is easy: Bi men usually get ignored and erased and counted as either gay but afraid to come out fully or straight but wanting to infiltrate queer spaces.

Then of course it is absolutely unclear if maybe the "boyfriend" is even cis - they could be a pre transition trans woman or a passing trans man.

Or maybe they are both bisexual or maybe the boyfriend is aro/ace or queer in any other way?

And lastly why would we want to exclude straight allies from pride? Why would we want to alienate the few people that are actually willing to stand with us against the suppression we are facing? This whole debate is just so stupid!

Sorry for posting about this but biphobia and misogyny aside the "cishet boyfriends at any lgbtq related event should be shot on sight" discourse is so funny to me because how are these people even planning to be able to tell if that person who they perceive as masculine at a given lgbt event even is a cishet boyfriend without like. starting the most uncomfortable conversation possible and making everyone hate them

[thelesbianpoirot]

omg i'm soooo glad you're enjoying scott and bailey. i know the show doesn't really fit the definition of "queerbaiting" as such, but they FEEL like lesbians to me despite the constant scrotes going in and out of their lives. i think it's because they are so normal and look normal and dress normal. there are no fillers or shapewear or high heels or performances of femininity. they're just normal kinda grungey women (who should kiss). it's v refreshing compared to how sexualised and feminised a lot of female characters on tv are (even ones who are meant to be lesbians).

did you ever watch the rookie (or the rookie: feds)? there is a lesbian character who pops up on the rookie and then as the lead in the spin off, and she is squeezed into skin tight cleavage tops and dresses 24/7. she has a full face of make up at all times. her hair is glamorous and silky. she's a lesbian but i felt completely disconnected from her, whereas i do feel connected to scott and bailey (and jill!!!).

can i rec another "wow everyone looks a real human" show to you (sorry, you've got so much to watch already haha). last tango in halifax. it's not a cop show, but bear with me. it's about an old man and an old woman meeting and falling in love (again, bear with me). the reason i'm reccing it to you is their (unrelated) adult daughters who i shipped like i have never shipped anything else in my whole entire life. like it got to the point where i - a lesbian woc - was howling at the tv like "PLEASE break up with your black girlfriend and go marry your white sister in law!!!!" LMFAO. there was so much electricity between them!!! if you watch this after you're done with s&b, you'll notice that one of the daughters is the recurring lesbian from s&b s3 :)

You're right, and the writing is really solid too and the acting is good. But yeah, they look like beautiful women but a real kind of beautiful. And they aren't posing constantly, or being made up when they are supposed to be a mess. Grungey isn't the right word, because they are still feminine and well dressed and thin actresses, but still 10000% percent real. You see age, and lack of padding, and no surgery, and a normal amount of makeup, these women look like they may be your boss, or the lady at the bus stop with you or someone you see buying coffee. For women who have het love affairs I do enjoy them more than the any lesbian character played by a 23 year old straight swimwear model who can't act her way out of a paper bag and is given a story about as complex as "oooh a girl kissed me what do I do?" You're 27 stacy go finger her about it! I quick the rookie early on, the actual cases they went on were fucking stupid, I only got about five episodes in before quitting, I seriously only think this show got greenlit because nathan fillion got a bunch of money from cops to create recruitment propaganda for them. The episode where the tiny women was abusing her massive wrestler husband was pure fantasy. I can imagine they can't write a lesbian character for shit either, or dress her in anyway that says she's for the female audience. I am surprised they didn't let us have any of the women as gay or bi, at least give us gill, but no...Scott and Bailey says you will love these het women and eat these crumps of female solidarity.

Lmao I'll add last tango in halifax to the long list, today I am watching miss marple, so I don't end up marathon all of S&B before my vacation is up, but they love to give them a black girlfriend and give the two characters no chemistry, just boring token rep, so I can see even the sister in law chemistry being more interesting. If you do want to watch a crime show (of course I am predictable) with a interracial lesbian couple, one of my favorites is Pippy and Tara from Rosewood. It's a series cancelled two season in, but they are adorable and I love them. Both really femme but they sell gay to me.

[constantineshots]

bisexuality rant here we go. i agree what the original post was saying, and i just want to expand upon it.

I don’t think people fully understand how to handle someone who isn’t homosexual or heterosexual. and comics certainly are not an exception to this.

whenever characters come into comics who aren’t bi, dare I say this, they handle them at least decently. we have batwoman, who i love and adore, who is a lesbian and exclusively dates women. they handle her rather well, and i haven’t seen any complaints about her aside from the cw show, but that’s a given. straight people are also handled very well. however, they can write these characters without making their sexuality the core point of what their character is.

in hellblazer, bisexuality is a part of john, sure. but it’s not a prominent one. it’s not something to be focused on. in a way, it feels like something that is said and not much explored. while I have my own issues with how they handled that, i can’t say they pulled pink triangle shit and bunny jokes.

more often than not, dc uses his bisexuality as a brunt of a joke or mentions it unnecessarily. to my understanding, in this, he was caught as a spy. that was enough to do him in. there wasn’t much of a need for a pink triangle or anything else. it could have been as simple as that. but on top of this, we have that stupid, godforsaken king shark joke that is so stupid and was absolutely unnecessary. like, dc has a history of this.

however, i think this stems from the idea that people, both heterosexual and homosexual, cannot seem to understand the concept of bisexuality which is so annoying to me if i'm honest. i myself do not have a label, but when i came out to my parents, the label i gave them was "bisexual" because it was the easiest way to explain to my parents at thirteen that i like more than one gender. and my parents looked at me and told me i didn't know what i was talking about. told me that i could only be gay or straight. then told me i couldn't know these things regardless because "i don't know if i want to eat pussy yet". sorry for vulgarity. but now, i recently turned twenty-two, and nothing has changed, no matter how adamant i am. in fact, a couple weeks ago, my stepmother was talking to her friend . . . and she told her i was a lesbian.

and we think it stops there. we always think it's the older generation that can't handle it- and you'd be half right. but it's the younger one, too. i can't headcanon a character as bi/pan/unlabelled ( because i would like to see myself in a character for once, much like others who are gay or lesbian or asexual or transgender or etc. want to ) without getting death threats. or i get told "well, you have enough representation". and i ask, "really? where?" and they scramble.

it's gotten to the point where it's controversial to call harley quinn a bisexual woman because she's in a relationship with a woman. or in other fandoms, because dc isn't the only one, i called a character aventurine a bisexual man- there is no confirmation on this man's sexuality. none at all. but i was told i couldn't have him as bi because he's a "gay twink". or if i say that someone who's straight could be bi, it's another war to fight. you say you're bi on the internet, and suddenly bi people are evil because you'll eventually want a family with someone who is the same sex as you. you'll end up with someone who is the same sex. you're a slut. you don't know what it's like to be discriminated for your sexuality.

it's incidents like these ones where people always act like it's nothing. but you turn the tables and say he's a gay character, people would have been up in arms. but he's not. he's bi. so he gets to be the brunt of jokes. and no one cares- or they just erase his sexuality entirely and call him a gay man, because tom taylor made him kiss the devil with his leg kicked up in the air.

but alas. that's my rant. do better and accept everyone.

I know I poke fun at the john constantine pink triangle incident but jokes aside i'm genuinely curious what other people think about it. imo it's a great blaring example of how incapable dc is at writing john's bisexuality into a story that doesn't surround corporate pride or getting together with a man.

I tried talking about it once on tiktok (idk what i was thinking either) and a few people defended it saying things like "how else would you explain a blond hair blue eyed man being sent to a ww2 ghetto?"

didn't the joker send him there? was that not reason enough? 'the joker' was kidnapping girls and ordering soldiers around, we can't suspend our belief that she had the power to send a british soldier caught undercover as a nazi away? the pink triangle and 'bunny that doesn't breed' comment was necessary to the plot?

[audreydoeskaren]

do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?

tw homophobia, pedophilia

Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.

As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.

Gayness as disease

Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.

In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.

Gayness as power/status symbol

Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.

I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.

It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners.  This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.

By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.

One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.

Gayness as crime

I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century.