#when the first stage of the boss fight happens and those first few tunes start- oooo OOO BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[apple-pecan]

Crash Bandicoot (1996)

meet crash bandicoot. he crashes into crates and is a bandicoot. he says "whoa!" whenever he dies. he constantly makes a 😬 face. he has a smokin hot girlfriend for exactly one game. and he's now currently dead because activision owns him and it's a franchise that isnt call of duty or overwatch so it must die. but before that happened, a no name studio named naughty dog wanted to make a mascot for the then brand new playstation 1. and so begins our story.

this game is essentially donkey kong country but instead of moving to the right you're in a 3d space and you have to move forwards. and occasionally backwards if you wanna break all the crates or if you're being chased by a boulder. it works mostly okay but there's a few things that definitively diagnose this game with "first installment syndrome" without even needing a second opinion.

namely, breaking all the crates in a level is a colossal pain in the ass and didn't feel very thought out compared to the sequels. for those not in the know, breaking crates is an optional objective in every crash game where if you break every crate in a level, you get one gem. getting all the gems is the only way to get the true ending; think of the chaos emeralds from sonic except there are way more than 7.

in the first stage, if you know what you're doing, you can easily break every crate and get the first gem. but in the second stage, if you break every crate, it turns out that no you fucking didnt: you missed three you didnt even see! WHAT!!! turns out there are special colored gems you get from stages later in the game that can open up secret pathways that give you secret lives or more importantly, more crates to break. therefore it's impossible to break all the crates in level 2 at the start of the game; it's mandatory to backtrack.

compare this to it's sequel, crash 2: in the first section of the name (the first five levels and the ripper roo boss fight), if you're good at the game, you can get every single gem (barring 1) you're able to get before you even reach the first boss. the way it's laid out in crash 1 makes it feel awkward as you get a punishment screen at the end of the level where every crate you happened to miss falls on crash as they're tallied up. even if, you know, they're impossible to get to where you're currently at in the game.

believe it or not, this isnt the worst thing about getting gems. the first game has this absolutely fucking stupid rule that if you die in a level ONCE, you are locked out of getting the gem for that level until you play it again or restart. and some of these levels are extremely hard AND long. one tiny mistake, and kiss your gem goodbye!!!!! WHY!!!!!! simply put, don't try 100%ing this game unless you're a masochist; honestly the true ending sucks and is not even remotely worth the effort. it's not even canon anyways. fucking hell.

okay thats enough bitching about gems, lets talk about the good stuff. crash is funny. as mentioned before, crash says "whoa!" and it makes me lol. he also has a fun, looney tunes esque design and it's easy to see why he's so beloved. a lot of the stages are pretty fun with surprisingly understated music considering the toony art style. there's not much i'd listen to outside of the game, but it definitely suits the mood. the game feel is mostly good; to this day it's satisfying spinning into a bunch of crates and collecting all the wumpa fruit that drops out. the 1up sound feels very good when you finally get enough fruit to earn one. the jumping feels weird if you have to make precision platforming compared to it's sequels. wait how did that last one sneak in THAT'S NOT GOOD STUFF.

people bitch about the bridge levels, namely the one where you have to bounce off turtles to get to the other end of a fallen apart, decaying bridge, and yes it's fucking awful, but for my money "toxic waste" is even worse. this is where the perspective and camera angles make things way worse. it is a straight path where you must jump over rolling barrels while avoiding the acidy pit; not bad so far, but the second they introduce bouncing barrels the whole stage becomes shit and it hits the fan at light speed. with the camera angle you have, it's impossible to gauge where the bouncy barrels are in relation to you, and they dont even have shadows. i used up almost all of my lives on this horrible stage, and my reward is the next stage being the fucking turtle bridge level.

OOH OOH, also remember the castle level where you have to deal with weird patterned moving platforms for ten minutes with like 2 checkpoints in the whole fucking level? and the god damn darkness level where your mask now lights up the level for a limited time but if it runs out your basically fucked because the stage is pitch black??? oh and dont forget~ if you die even once in these levels you dont get a gem unless you restart and do a perfect run~

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... uh... despite all this though, the feeling you get when you actually beat once of these batshit levels is great. it's kinda like beating a boss in dark souls after being stuck on it for hours and you finally memorized it's pattern and deal the finishing blow. oh fuck. maybe crash bandicoot IS a dark souls game.

haha just kidding. despite how bullshit it is, crash 1 was still fun to finally beat. i first played the game in 2014 so i dont have childhood nostalgia for the series, and i still had fun. crash 1 is definitely the hardest in the original trilogy, a lot of it for bullshit reasons, but if you want a linear 3d platformer that mostly still holds up despite it's sometimes unfair difficulty, give it a shot or better yet, play the n.sane trilogy remake for modern consoles. in that version you dont get locked out of a gem for dying! unless it's a colored gem. you still have to beat those deathless. and also the jump arc was fucked up a bit so the platforming is even harder. and this is completely subjective but imo the sound design and art style isnt as good. eh, pick your poison.

7/10

NOTE: seriously. the n.sane trilogy removes the howie scream AND the lady and the tramp hyena laugh. what the actual h. whoa.

[hoaxghost]

how am i supposed to be normal anymore after finishing the splat 3 storymode

[hopeymchope]

Persona Lite with Fire Emblem sprinkles on top

I’ve been addicted to Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore on my Switch for the past few weeks, and I’m getting close to wrapping it up. I figured it’s high time I talked about it a bit.

The game that would become Tokyo Mirage Sessions (TMS) was first announced as “Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem,” which is absolutely not a good way to describe what this became. 

This title led so many people astray.

What comes to mind when you think of (mainline) Shin Megami Tensei games? An apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic setting. First-person-perspective battles. Negotiating with demons. Battles against deities. TMS contains a little bit of the third thing on that list, and none of the others. 

What comes to mind when you think of Fire Emblem? Medieval-era settings. Permadeath (either optional or mandatory). RTS-style combat. The famed “weapon triangle.” Support conversations. TMS contains the fourth thing on that list, and none of the others. 

But let’s be honest here: For most people (especially Westerners), the first thing you think of when you think about Shin Megami Tensei isn’t even the games with “Shin Megami Tensei” in the title. It’s the Persona series! They’ve grown far more popular than their parent franchise at this point.

So I suppose it was natural that TMS is, at its core, a “Persona Lite” game. The darker edges of Persona titles are removed in favor of something more T-friendly, but the basics are all there: A group of teenagers in modern-day Japan discover a strange alternate dimension that they can access which also gives them the ability to summon supernatural powers/entities. When people start to go missing in this other dimension, it falls to this group of teens to unite and save the day, ultimately leading to them discovering the reason why this alternate world has been bleeding into modern Japan in the first place and, in the end, saving humanity from annihilation. That’s totally how Persona works, and it’s also totally how Tokyo Mirage Sessions works!

However, instead of summoning Shin Megami Tensei demons as “Personas,” the heroes of TMS summon Fire Emblem characters that are “Mirages.” Each character is permanently linked to a single Mirage, so there are no “Wild Card” characters here. However, you can level the characters’ mirages up to make them take on new forms and new abilities. FE fans will notice that all of the characters here are from the Falchion/Tiki/Shadow Dragon stories - the two Marth adventures (Shadow Dragon/Mystery of the Emblem) and the semi-recent 3DS hit Awakening.

For some weird reason, all of the Fire Emblem “mirages” wear helmets, masks, or other face coverings 100% of the time. The only exception is Tiki.

The lack of the darker themes in many Persona games and the fact that there’s no “Wild Card” to manage is what makes this, in my opinion, more like PERSONA LITE. And then you get your Fire Emblem backup characters to serve as extra flavoring. The characters we meet from Fire Emblem are rarely the focus — you spend most of your time with the teen heroes — but they still manage to show off their unique personalities and carry in a load of FE fanservice. (The good kind of fanservice where it’s full of references and nods to the continuity of the series, I mean. Not the other kind where it’s softcore porn.)

Fire Emblem fanservice was one of the biggest delights for me here. If you’re looking for any SMT/Persona characters to pop up and link the continuity together, you can stop looking because they aren’t here. But if you want to see specific characters from the three source FE games pop up here, a metric ton manage to do so. For example: Tharja (from Awakening) creates two golems for training purposes, which she names Bord and Cord after the pair of heroes from Marth’s era. And then the actual spirits of Bord and Cord possess those golems. So naturally, they start bickering and fighting. It’s delightful. 

So yeah, there’s plenty of nods for FE fans to appreciate even if your favorite characters are taking a back seat to a bunch of teenagers. Fire Emblem fans will recognize the heroic mirages, the enemy boss mirages, the weapon triangle weakness/strength system and lots of musical cues. On the flip side, Persona fans will recognize the story structure, the magic spells the characters wield (things like “Mazio” and “Diarama” and “Rakukaja”), the common enemies you encounter and cameos from a few of the more famous demons found on signage around Tokyo. Sadly, there are no familiar sounds or music pieces borrowed from SMT/Persona that I noticed.

In addition to the main story, there are also “Side Stories” for your party and side quests from various NPCs. The whole game lasts around 50 hours even if you aren’t trying to 100% it.

And while the music here is mostly pretty good — especially the Fire Emblem themes — I really wish we’d gotten some Persona-style tunes in here. Persona soundtracks are absolutely killer and everybody knows it. I wanted to hear some Shihoko Hirata, some Lotus Juice, some Yumi Kawamura, some Lyn Inaizumi. Alas, that never happens. Sad face.

In fact, as far as vocal tracks go, you’ll only be hearing the performances of the main characters. See, the story this time revolves around a group of teens who are hired by a talent agency to become young starlets of the stage and screen. You meet plenty of pop idols, a cooking show host, aspiring actors, and those who do combinations of the above. There’s a lot of focus on the Japanese entertainment industry, and it’s mostly a very positive portrayal about how hard teen stars work to reach their dreams and how fulfilling it can be when they express themselves through their artistic pursuits. Speaking as someone who legitimately does not care one iota about the idol industry in Japan or Asia as a whole, I’m very happy that these characters managed to remain likable and their pursuits stayed enjoyable throughout. No one here is an ultra-deep character, but no one here is a total cipher, either. I’m additionally thankful that the vocal songs are another highlight of the soundtrack alongside the FE tunes. 

The last thing I’ll bring up is the “Sessions” mentioned in the title. It’s a battle mechanic wherein striking an enemy with a weapon or element they’re weak to will enable other characters to start jumping in with follow-up attacks. At first, it’s just one or two follow-ups, but by the game’s end, you might be sitting there for 15 or more consecutive strikes on an enemy after you initiate a “Session” of follow-ups. The greatest quality-of-life improvement built into this Switch port is that you can turn on “Quick Session” to make these attack animations much shorter and more rapid than they ever were in the Wii U original. I never had to play that one, but I can’t imagine I’d have much patience for constantly triggering 15 attack animations with every round. SO glad I don’t have to sit through that.

This is just a two-strike Sessions, so it won’t last long enough for you to take a beverage break.

So yeah, there’s a lot for RPG fans, Persona fans, and most of all, Fire Emblem fans to dig in “Tokyo Mirage Sessions.” And since we already covered that Danganronpa fans are apparently predisposed to enjoying Persona and Fire Emblem, that probably means that YOU, dear reader, are likely to dig this game as well. 

[choccos-aaart]

Close enough to 10 mintues of “Ms Axel is a Goon”

Screw it. I'm posting it here, too. *NOTE: This is 100% fictitious and not going to happen*

Final Assignment Script Writing, Winter School 2021 ONE-PAGE PITCH

TITLE: Ms Axel is a Goon

GENRE: Action, comedy, sci-fi, family

LOGLINE: In the humid city of Dasmus, Mei Axel is a former goon who's just escaped captivity. Since her escape, she's been trying to better her life with her new found passion for music, but she quickly learns that the entire country wants to trade her name and face for a price.

FORMAT: Full-length animated film

MAJOR AND RECURRING CHARACTERS: Mei Axel – A wanted fugitive. Mid 20s. Despite her physical competence, she's mostly a foolish, plucky girl who steals a guitar one day.

Alicia Vonarb – CEO of a liquor company. Late 30s. The last boss to hire Axel to do her sneaky business work. Confident and vain, but does everything in spite of her mother. Wants to capture Axel because she doesn't want to get ratted out.

Kannie Orma – An old gadgeteer friend of Axel’s. Mid 50s. Also a “lame uncle” sort of figure to Axel. Their friendship must remain secret because his work is also involved with Vonarb.

O. Miho - Axel’s former coworker from when she was working for Vonarb. Early 30s. His current assignment is to capture Axel. Smug and thinks he's funny.

K. Claymont – Axel’s other former coworker. Late 20s. Works together with Miho. A kind man, but only most of the time.

SYNOPSIS: Mei Axel. She's a goon that's been caught and jailed. Eventually enough, she makes a successful escape and ventures outside. Not much happens afterwards other than stealing a guitar, and once discovering that she's got a passion for music, now she aims to live up that dream. But while attempting to live her new life, her face still reads as an incompetent menace to her former friends and foes, as well as to the majority of the country – they all seem to want to trade in her face for a cash reward. Now, aside from escaping the hands of everyone that wants to hand her over to the government, it is now up to Ms Axel to figure out how she is going to be able to pursue her new life goal that heavily conflicts with her current place among her people. This first follows the story of a wanted fugitive who sets off on a quest for redemption which, unfortunately, never works out. The story ends when Axel eventually escapes the country. She finally acknowledges that she can never truly change the way she's perceived, as well as never fully experience the life that she wants. However, she still performs under a low profile, happily living a drifter's lifestyle.

RATIONALE: This is a story about someone whose wrongdoings and nurture had shaped the way that others view them. Our protagonist is Mei Axel who had been built up to become a significantly infamous member of society, but once discovering a part of herself that showed her potential in a more respected position, being a musician, she starts wanting to better herself. A problem with this scenario is that her past actions prevent her from fully achieving that dream. She can relate to audiences who want to change aspects of their past, particularly their mistakes or the wrong ways they've been brought up, but can't.

MARKET: Children ranging from 11-16, particularly those that are interested in scenes that involve action-packed chases and fighting between individuals. The [film] will present itself through retro-futuristic aesthetics in its city setting. Rock is also a prevalent music genre for the soundtrack, which may interest audiences who particularly like the genre.

The Script

EXT. BUILDINGTOP – NIGHT

Axel checks out the guitar from every angle with a grin, having a feel of its neck, strings and body. She sits it on her lap as if to play it.

AXEL

Oh... I hope those lessons never went to waste...

She wobbly plays a C major scale while slightly wincing through every second. She runs over the same scale again, but this time it flows a bit more smoothly. She smiles a little.

MONTAGE OF AXEL PRACTISING GUITAR

- Axel goes over the same scale a couple of times and with every run, her playing gets smoother.

- She then moves on to a different key and practises that scale

- She then moves on to another key and practises that scale

- She plays some chords now, beginning with the I IV V I progression

MONTAGE END

Axel continues strumming. A light turns on from a nearby building.

DWELLER

Who is playing that garbage?!

Axel stops strumming. Silence.

AXEL

(Breathes in)

I'll get the hang of it.

She slings the guitar over her back and runs into the shadows. Eventually, she disappears into the dark.

EXT. MARKETPLACE – DAY

A view of a cranny on a roof between two walls. Axel sleeps there resting her guitar on her lap. Waking up, she yawns and then lazily sits up.

CUT TO:

A view of the market grounds. Axel smugly and excitedly, yet discreetly scurries out of an alley between a bakery and a liquor store, with a paper doughnut bag in one hand and a small bottle of liquor in the other.

She sits by a cafe playing some instrumental reggae rock music through a speaker. Axel hums along to the melody of the soundtrack while tipsily bouncing her finger to the beat. She then quickly strums a few chords for a brief moment, all which clash with the song's key signature, until right on the chorus, where she strums a chord that matches the root note of the song.

AXEL

Ooh, it's a G song. God, why do they always gotta be G songs? (Giggles)

She strums along with the music, landing every chord. Her smile grows and she gradually plays more confidently. She whistles the melody, then proceeds to hum. A TEENAGE BOY chucks a coin in front of her. Axel looks up and grins. She finger guns at him as he skids away to his friends, laughing. Axel stands up and plays more purposefully. The background starts dimming down.

DAYDREAM

Soon the marketplace around her blends into a stage. An abstractly drawn audience watches her perform and cheer her on. The chorus section of the song finishes.

AXEL

(Laughs)

I'm going to be known! I'll make myself the talk of the town! Everybody's gonna love me!

Axel starts strumming along to the background music again. Suddenly, a MAN with a large, muscular build grabs onto her shoulder.

END DAYDREAM

The stage fades back into the marketplace. Axel is still strumming.

MAN

You got that last part wrong.

AXEL

And who are you?

The man bats Axel with a club.

OVER BLACK.

SFX: Walking footsteps.

EXT. DESOLATE CITY AREA – DAY

In an alleyway, the man carries a bag containing Axel's body, also with Axel's guitar strapped around his back. After some time, Axel can be seen moving inside of the bag.

MAN

Huh? Hey. You keep still down there, would you?

Axel still moves inside of the bag.

MAN (CONT'D)

Look, this is goin'a be a long walk. That means you better cooperate with me, you hear that, Girlie? (Pause) You don't want to make me hurt you, now--

Axel falls out of a hole the bag with a shank in one hand and one of her boots on the other.

MAN

What the?!

The man looks behind himself while Axel stands up in front of him, holding her boot in both hands. She sends a finishing blow at the back of man's head and he falls to the floor. Axel cautiously looks at the man for a brief moment.

The man lies motionlessly on the ground. Axel drops her boot and fixes her shank back inside her pocket, then dusts off her hands before then squatting down next to him.

AXEL

Gosh, they really never hired me for nothing, huh... But I ain't into that stuff anymore. Say, can I have my guitar back?

The man does not respond. Axel lifts one of the man's eyelids and learns that he's out cold. Axel sighs with a slight chuckle. She lifts up the man and, with a struggle, unstraps the guitar from his body, before eventually slinging it over her own. Once fitting her boot back on, she then stands up and slowly walks over to the edge of the alley, whistling a chipper tune – the same melody she was playing earlier - on her way there. At the edge of the alleyway, her eyes look up. Then they widen.

INSERT – ELECTRONIC POSTER

containing Axel's mugshot and in large writing, "WANTED". Below is a list of details including Axel's height, approximate age, gender, race and the time and location of where she was last seen, “18:50, Southwest of Dasmus City”. There is also a cash prize.

INSERT – ELECTRONIC POSTER

containing the same contents as the previous poster, except the location which reads, “Southern markets of Dasmus City at 15:47, drunkenly playing a red Phenver brand guitar”.

A view of Axel between the alley's walls. All around are copies of the same two posters, both in electronic and printed forms. A mildly shocked expression crosses her face.

INT. TOILETS – DAY

A view of a row of toilet stalls. None of the stalls' doors are closed, except for the one in the centre. Axel's guitar leans on a nearby wall. Her feet can be seen in the gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. Axel kicks the wall.

AXEL

Damn it! I'm such an idiot! What was I thinking?! Me? A musician? That's just one way to draw attention!

VONARB (O.S)

Axel? Is that you?

AXEL (CONT'D)

I can't b-- (Pause) Ms Vonarb?

Axel immediately opens her stall's door and looks in the direction of ALICIA VONARB'S voice. Vonarb walks towards Axel.

VONARB

And to think I'd meet you here of all places?

AXEL

I never expected to see you here, either.

VONARB

Well, isn't this quite the reunion?

AXEL

Eh. Not really.

VONARB

I'm surprised you got clever enough to get yourself out of prison.

Axel exits her stall.

AXEL

So, is that to say you're impressed with me?

VONARB

Nope. How'd you think I found you here so easily?

AXEL

Easily? That was easy?

VONARB

Anyway... Don't think I came trying to find you for no reason, now.

AXEL

Oh yeah! Coincidentally, I'm a bit short on cash. You don't happen to want to hire me again, don't you?

VONARB

(Laughs)

What? After getting yourself thrown in jail?

AXEL

Oh... (Pause) What are you even here for, anyway?

VONARB

Well. First of all... (Clears throat) Whatever you do, please don't take this the wrong way.

AXEL

Huh?

Silence. The two stare at each other. Axel tilts her head in confusion. Eventually, O MIHO and K CLAYMONT enter the room. Miho holds a taser while Claymont holds a bag.

CLAYMONT

Now, I don't mean to spread any panic or alarm--

AXEL

(Gasps)

You gotta be kidding me!

VONARB

I just said to not take it the wrong way--

AXEL

I knew it! You are as easy to see through as a window! It's 'cause of my “WANTED” sign, isn't it, Vonarb?

VONARB

Wrong!

AXEL

Huh?

VONARB

You see, we're here to keep you away from those authorities. And knowing you, you're probably so incompetent that you'd just wind up stuck in prison again! So, since you're with us, you're going nowhere.

AXEL

What? Why?

VONARB

You're pretty infamous now. And I've got my business to worry about, too. So, if it didn't all add up in that brain of yours, let's just say, I don't want to risk you ratting me out.

AXEL

Yeah, I'm not doing that!

Grabbing her guitar, Axel jumps on the sinks and runs along them. Miho runs to tase her. Axel whacks him with her guitar and then heads right out the door. Claymont follows.

CLAYMONT (O.S)

I got it!

EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

A view of the front of a pub. There is people scattered everywhere. Suddenly, the door swings right open and Axel sprints outside with her guitar now strapped over her back. She continues along the street. Claymont chases right after.

[flipomatic]

A New World Chapter 17: Goals (1/2)

Author Note: Hi, I’m still alive. I spent some time going for podium in D4DJ and things irl have been blowing up lately. I’m still dedicated to finishing this fic. This chapter has been split into two chapters. Thank you for your patience and continued support!

Please listen to the first two minutes of Kiseki at the right time during Rinko’s section. You’ll know when. (link if you need it https://youtu.be/BXsp6qALjr4)

Summary: The members of Roselia ponder what to do next.

First Chapter Previous Chapter

________________________________________________________

Rinko sat at her piano, eyes shut, hands poised in a familiar position over the keys. Her fingers began to move, pressing the keys softly the same way they had hundreds of times before. The tune of Black Shout drifted through the room.

It washed over her, bringing a much needed sense of calm.

Ever since the meeting earlier, Rinko’s heart had been in turmoil. Well, she’d been worried before then too, but she hoped the band would be able to come to a solution. Instead, she left with a new question and even more to dwell on.

In her mind Rinko could hear the other parts that went with hers, the blend of the band’s oldest song. She could hear how their performance used to sound, how they used to fit together.

Their performance last week had been different. Rinko tried to remember as she played, to imagine the new sound of her bandmates that they presented on stage, but she couldn’t. Their sound had changed so much, she could hardly recall it. Even Yukina’s singing had morphed into something new.

Rinko opened her eyes, hands stilling against the keys.

She had been sent to ponder a specific question, to set a goal for the band. When Rinko suggested that they take a week to think about it, it was because she couldn’t think of anything. That had never been her role.

No, Rinko’s role had always been to create. She wrote songs and created outfits, all parts of how the band presented itself. Though Rinko herself lacked presence, she contributed to the band through her work and her playing.

She supported the band, and in turn she found a place to belong. Over the last three years Roselia had come to feel like home.

It was a home that was always moving, always seeking the next step. Together, they tried to achieve something until they succeeded. Now they weren’t, and they were slowly drifting apart.

That was why Yukina thought they needed a new goal.

It wasn’t going to be enough.

Rinko’s thoughts had been trapped in this cycle, of being unable to come up with the next steps despite being desperate to do so. She’d hoped playing their music would help her think clearly, but it hadn’t worked.

Her view of the band felt more out of focus than ever, unable to even imagine how they now sounded together.

Without thinking, Rinko again began to play. It was a different song, once much slower and quieter than Black Shout before it.

The opening notes of Kiseki rang softly from the heart of the piano.

They didn’t perform this song often; it didn’t quite match their usual image. Regardless, Rinko loved it. She still remembered when Yukina had given her the lyrics for it, more subdued than usual.

She told Rinko it was a, “Thank you for everything,” with an uncharacteristic pink to her cheeks.

The accompanying tune flowed from Rinko’s soul. She matched the words carefully, with a soft melody that she hoped enhanced their meaning.

When she first played the song for the rest of the band, Yukina singing the lyrics along with her piano, they listened in stunned silence.

As the piece ended nobody said a word, but even in the quiet Rinko could feel the emotion in the room. She could feel how close the band had become, represented by the song she and Yukina had created together.

Rinko longed to return to that closeness.

Surely there was something she could do to help, to restore the band to how they used to be. She grimaced as she hit the chorus of the song, pressing her hands harder against the keys.

Perhaps that was the problem.

They had all changed so much, even over just a few months. It was impossible to go back.

The song hit its peak, unrelenting in its pace. Rinko continued to play, with her emotions laid bare through the piano.

As the members changed, Roselia could only go forward. Rinko too had changed and grown, through her playing and her compositions. Instead of growing apart, they needed to grow together.

That was easier said than done.

As the chorus ended, Rinko’s playing slowed to a halt. This was where the others would come in, bringing the whole band into the song. She could hear it in her mind. She wondered how it would sound if they played it now.

She needed to find out. Sitting here at her piano, yearning for the past, wasn’t doing her any favors.

Even if she couldn’t find a goal for the band, there were other things she could do.

Rinko’s hands moved again, deftly across the keys.

The melody that emerged was a new one, something she’d been working on near the start of the semester. If everything worked out, this would be Roselia’s next song.

No, that wasn’t the right way to think about it. Rinko was determined to make this Roselia’s next song. It still needed a lot of work and lyrics to go with it, but she was going to make sure it was a success. This was how she would support the band and bring them back together.

This song would carry them forward.

Rinko needed to spend more time listening to her bandmates from now on, adapting to the changes in their playing. Then she would be able to compose for the new Roselia.

If she tweaked it for her bandmates new sound, for the new sound of the band as a whole, that would help them find their path.

Rinko was sure of it.

____________________________________________________

Ako often found that playing video games provided a good distraction. Whether it be from school work or band troubles, they did the trick. Sayo had once specifically told her that video games provided escapist entertainment. They were playing NFO together at the time. Ako didn’t really understand that concept; she just enjoyed playing them.

As Ako directed her character across a field of burning lava, it was slightly easier to not think about the band meeting they held a couple days ago.

It felt like the only thing she’d done since the meeting was worry about it, so she really needed the break.

For while, it worked. Ako teamed up with a few other players to do some quests. They saved a local village from a volcano by redirecting the lava, then had their celebratory party crashed by the culprit who made the volcano erupt in the first place.

The twist made for a satisfying quest line, with a cool boss fight at the end. Ako would definitely run it with Rinko again, when her friend had time. After, Ako said goodbye to her party members.

As fun as playing had been, when the screen in front of Ako flicked to black nothing had really changed. Her own smudged reflection stared back at her, far more tired looking than she should’ve been after a gaming session.

Without the flashing lights on the screen, her thoughts returned to where they were still stuck, to her friends disappointed faces as they sat around the table at the family restaurant.

Lisa told Ako it wasn’t her fault, but she couldn’t help but feel that it was. If she’d done a better job, this wouldn’t have happened. The drums were supposed to keep the band together, and she couldn’t do it. Now, it felt like they were on the verge of collapse.

Ako wouldn’t let that happen. She hoped that the new goal they came up with would bring them all back together. She just needed to come up with something good. She wanted to keep playing with her friends, in the band that she loved.

Ako pushed her chair back from the computer, stretching her arms and back as she rose from it. She didn’t like to sit and wallow.

No, it was time for action. Perhaps she would brainstorm best if she moved her body. That would at least alleviate the tension in her back, which still remained even after stretching.

With that thought, Ako pushed in her chair and stepped away from the desk. She started walking across the room, turning to come back as she reached the end of it. One hand rested on her chin as she wracked her brain for any ideas.

It took a few laps before she thought of something.

Ako paused mid step as an idea popped into her mind, perhaps they could work to perform overseas? That would be a huge accomplishment, even bigger than playing in Future World FES. Ako perked up, before sagging her shoulders as she continued to think about it.

No, that wouldn’t work. She sighed as she started walking again. Her bandmates were all too busy with university to leave the country; they would never be able to get that kind of time off. Maybe during summer break, but that was too soon. There just wasn’t enough time.

It would have to be something close by then. Future World FES had always been Yukina’s dream, that the rest of them strived for with her. Ako wondered what Yukina was thinking now, what she thought about how far they’d fallen.

Though they’d accomplished their goal, they’d only grown apart since. They lost sight of what it meant to be Roselia.

Wasn’t it Ako’s job to remind them? Ako’s eyes widened in realization as she again stopped, almost stumbling forward. That was what she said, all those many months ago.

After spending so much time apart and heading down splitting roads, the band clearly needed a reminder. They needed to remember what brought them together, so they could move forward with an even stronger goal.

If Roselia got off track, Ako had committed to bringing back Louder to remind them of their path. It was time to follow through on that promise.

At their next practice, she’d be sure to.

_______________________________________________________

The park was quiet at this time of night. The local kids usually went home before sunset, leaving the swings and slides abandoned.

That suited Lisa well, as she sat on a swing near the edge of the lamppost’s light. She dug her shoe into the dirt, rocking the swing back and forth slightly.

She liked to come here to think, to get away from the bustle of her house and family. It was peaceful and calm, only slightly warm today since the sun had fully set. A few bugs chirped nearby.

The stillness of the night directly contrasted Lisa’s own tumultuous thoughts. She had seen the writing on the wall at their performance, which was only confirmed by the meeting last weekend; she knew the band was going downhill fast.

It was something she feared, something she dreaded. It was the reason she worked so hard to improve her skills, so she could help the band be the best. So that, even if things would never work out between them, she could stay by Yukina’s side.

Despite all of their efforts, or perhaps because of them, everything the band built was crumbling around them. But they weren’t giving up.

Yukina wanted to set a new goal.

Lisa believed in that, believed in her. Still, she was worried.

The problem wasn’t just that they didn’t have a goal. Ever since Future World FES they’d been looking in different directions, and their lack of focus was catching up to them.

Lisa should’ve realized it earlier, when she first heard hints of disunity during rehearsal. How foolish she’d been to just ignore it, to let things get this far. If only she’d realized and taken action, it wouldn’t have become this bad.

Now though, it was too late. They needed to come up with a new plan.

When Lisa thought about what the goal for the band should be, she only thought of Yukina. The woman she’d been following since she was a child, who she was finally able to walk side by side with in Roselia, dominated her mind. Yukina’s dreams had always lit the way for the band and propelled them forward. She was the guiding light that drove the band. Lisa filled more of a supporting role, helping Yukina and her bandmates as best she could.

This year Lisa had broken off to her own path, even more so than her bandmates. She was studying outside the realm of music, but still she longed to stay by Yukina’s side. She couldn’t bear it if the band were to fall apart.

Even though she was supposed to come up with a goal, Lisa was at a loss with what to do next. She suspected Sayo felt the same way, with the way her frown deepened over the course of the meeting.

Lisa knew that coming up with a goal wouldn’t be enough to solve their problems. They had already changed so much in a short period of time. It would take more to bring their sound back together. She sighed, dragging the toe of her shoe through the dirt.

Lisa thought back to Yukina, whose light had been on when she left the house. Yukina had probably already come up with their next goal, the next target for the band to hit. Even at the meeting, her eyes hadn’t wavered.

What could Lisa do to help?

Now she drew a pattern in the dirt, the outline of a rose. There had been so many times when she questioned her place in the band and her contribution to it. She’d learned from those experiences, about her role and what being in Roselia truly meant.

Cookies might be a good place to start. With their busy schedules, it had been a long time since the band had spent any quality time together. They really only met to practice, often without all their members.

Hanging out, even if it was just for long enough to eat cookies, could bring them closer once again. Lisa made a mental note to get some ingredients, so she could bake the finest batch of cookies she’d ever made.

No number of cookies would fix the bands problems of course; Lisa knew that. Getting the band together would only be the beginning. She needed to do more.

They only had a month until summer break, when everyone would be free. That sparked an idea in Lisa’s mind, something that would help for sure.

Lisa rose from the swing, a burst of energy surging through her. Her mouth was set in determination. She was careful not to step on her drawing as she walked away, headed back towards home with a spring in her step.

She needed to look at her calendar and start making some plans.

Next Chapter

[zodiyack]

Melody

Pairing: Roman Sionis x reader

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, fluff, mentions of murder, Roman being Roman (aka mentions of face skinning)

Note: This fic is based off a) an idea I had, b) Lindsey Stirling I guess, c) I guess somewhat The Umbrella Academy, d) I dunno I just liked the idea

Also this is probably horrible for my first Roman fic, but I think the more I write for him the more I’ll improve :\

Prompt: “’Do You Trust Her?’ ‘No...but I trust her anger.’”

Taglist: @stardancerluv​

masterlist

A sweet sound of a violin echoed through the Black Mask. It was different from Dinah’s singing, this violin was rushed yet calmed. Roman sat proudly in his seat, Victor to his right and a glass of some alcohol in his hand. His eyes scanned the stage, smiling upon the sight of a woman playing her violin and dancing around.

The woman was his lover, his world, his girlfriend. She held the key to his heart and never let it out of her sight. Y/n L/n was her name. A violinist who accidentally stumbled into the Black Mask with blood all over her after escaping a situation that she could’ve gone to jail for. Roman took her under his wing and soon learned about her talents and murders. At first, he thought she’d be useful, but now, he wasn’t sure if he could live without her.

Victor, on the other hand, would be more than happy to live without Y/n. He didn’t like her. Not because she was, ya know, Roman’s girlfriend, but because she looked suspicious and she often strayed away from him. To make things shorter, he would trust her more if she just tried to get along with him. But like siblings, they both refused to say more than a few nice things to one another without getting into a fight.

The song ended and no one clapped. Infuriated by that small detail, Roman got up and clapped as loud as he could, the other people following. Y/n smiled brightly and hopped off the stage and into Roman’s arms. “Hello my love.” He chuckled.

“Hello Rome!” She scanned the area around Roman, confused by the two men sitting opposite of Roman and Victor. Y/n sat on his lap once he sat down, wrapping her arms around his neck and cuddling into him. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I’m talking to these men about business,” he leaned closer to her ear, “but they aren’t giving me what I want.”

As usual, it triggered something in Y/n. Roman watched as her eyes lit with determination. She shifted on his lap and glared at the men in front of her. Why did they look so...relaxed? “Romey, I’ll be right back, okay?”

He nodded and allowed her to get up and return to the stage. “Do you trust her?” Roman asked Victor in a whisper. His eyes remained on Y/n’s figure.

The white haired man leaned his head next to Roman’s and whispered back, “No...but I trust her anger.” They watched as Y/n grabbed her violin and started a rough tune. The melody started to turn eerie and Victor turned to Roman. “I think we cover our ears now...”

“I believe you are correct.” They looked at each other and clasped their hands over their ears, sliding off their seat and under the table. What was about to happen? Well you could tell something was happening by the way the men Roman complained about grabbed their heads and started screaming.

Many sharp notes played, quick and aggressive. Back on the stage, Y/n’s eyes were closed and she twirled around, dancing to the deadly rhythm. The sound waves felt visible, those who saw them thinking they had gone bonkers. She finished off the song with a casual ending, then she smiled and walked back over to Roman’s spot.

Roman and Victor got back up and sent Y/n kind and thankful smiles. She smiled back and sat right back down onto Roman’s lap. His arms snaked around her waist.

“So, what do you boys think about giving my Roman here exactly what he asks of you?” She inquired the men, who were gasping for air and rubbing their heads. When no answer came, she kissed Roman’s cheek and jumped up. “I said, what do you boys think about giving Roman what he wants?” The bow for her violin was now pointed at the pair.

“W-we’ll give it to him! Please, just d-don’t do that again!” One of the men whimpered. His partner stomped on his foot and shook his head. “What’re you doing? We have to say yes o-or else she’ll k-kill us man!”

“You’re right. She will. That, or maybe I will. Hmm, babydoll, how much do you think their boss would appreciate their faces?”

“I dunno Romey. Should we find out?” She moved, again, and straddled his lap, pressing light kisses to his jaw.

“No! No! Please! Anything but that! We’ll do whatever you want! Please!”

Y/n ignored them and kept her eyes on Roman. She took a second, looking into his eyes and then taking him by surprise by pressing a rough kiss to his lips. Their lips danced and her hands gripped his hair, his hands gripped her waist. Sadly, their need for air separated them after a minute or two. She slid her hands down to his jacket and clung to it, breathing heavily and still making intense eye contact with him.

“I love you Rome.”

“I love you too Y/n/n. Now, what do you say you give them one more melody?”

She smiled and nodded, shoving her face to his a last time before sliding off his lap and getting back on the stage for the third time. She winked at Roman and played that cursed long note, striking fear into the businessmen’s hearts. Roman winked back and covered his ears with Victor, sliding right back under the table as she started her final melody. 

[amerrierworld]

Curtain. (ii)

Carol (2015) fanfiction

Pt 1: x

Word Count: 1,874

Warnings: Swearing, but that’s it.

June - three days earlier

"We need to have any photos before the start of the run, so you have until next week to finish them. Can you do that?"

"Of course, Miss Gerhard."

"Oh, please, call me Abby. Dannie did say you were too polite for your own good. I don't bite, you know."

Therese blushed and glanced down, fiddling with the buttons on her camera as Abby led her backstage. The stage manager gave her a quick tour, and Therese scanned the premises, looking for the best angles to see the stage from the wings. The seats were empty and the lights were dim, focusing on the minimalistic set of a living room as the backdrop of the show.

"Anyways, it's an early preview so there'll probably be loads of kinks to work through as the show progresses tonight, and knowing our director, she'll probably pause the show a lot. You have free range of backstage and the seats to do as you please. The last photographer we worked with during rehearsal only showed up with blurry photos, which sent the PR team into a fit."

Therese was testing out her camera on stage, moving from the wings to the front seats as Abby gestured around. There were few workers around, cleaning and preparing for the preview of the theatre's production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

"So! All we're asking for is some good photos of our lovely actors, the stage, and whatever tickles your fancy. It's a small show and we need all the promotion we can get," Abby continued. Therese nodded, chewing the inside of her cheek as she glanced around the theatre, taking note of the lights and seats.

After agreeing on her deadline and payment, Abby was typing in her theatre contact in Therese's phone in case anything came up, and the young photographer was quick to hurry out of the theatre, bustling with excitement for her job later that day.

-

August

"Cheers to finally being done!" Dannie exclaimed dramatically, popping open the bottle of champagne.

"Oh, stop it Dannie! I've been crying since the curtain call," Gen scolded him, whacking his arm with her purse. The actress was dressed impeccably, a silk silver dress draped around her voluptuous frame like she came straight from the silver screen. Therese felt inadequate with her simple green turtleneck and black dress pants.

"Seriously though folks. Congratulations on an incredible run," Dannie said. "I almost cried this time around. Almost."

"You sound just like old bat Gerhard, y'know," Richard stepped in, who was sitting across from Therese with a wide, arrogant posture and his arm slung over Gen's shoulders possessively. "I swear that lady has a stick the size of a tree trunk up her fuckin ass."

"Maybe she wouldn't be so uptight if someone just hit his marks," Gen said coldly. Richard's gaze darkened considerably, but all Gen did was sip her champagne, flicking auburn hair over her shoulder in that celebrity-style manner that Therese couldn't help but admire.

From what Dannie had told her, Gen and Richard had been on and off during the show, creating tension left and right. A classic backstage romance filled with just as much drama as the show they were in. Apparently it helped the actual tension needed during the performance, though that was really the only thing it was good for.

Closing night had been a huge success either way. Critics had raved about their electric performances, tiny hiccups going unnoticed by the audience. Therese was overjoyed to see her images in papers, on posters and on the theatre's website, her name printed in the corners of the photos. Gen had asked Dannie to bring Therese to their small celebration at the restaurant they were sitting in. She desperately wanted more female companionship after being surrounded by the likes of Dannie and Richard.

"Speaking of the fucking devil," Dannie commented, nodding his head to the front door of the small restaurant. Therese turned and caught the sight of Ms. Gerhard -no, Abby, she corrected herself- wearing a stunning jumpsuit. On her arm was a tall, familiar blonde beauty and Therese sucked in a breath as time slowed down for her while watching the two walk in.

Director Ross was dressed in a timeless black suit, bowtie and high heels, hair swept up in a sleek hairdo. The way they walked together was like watching power and confidence personified in the two women.

Therese took a sip of her water to help the blush that she felt creeping up her neck.

"Ah, shit, no way, why they gotta go out for dinner the same place we are?" Richard grumbled. "I really don't want to talk to them."

"Nonsense! They deserve just as much praise as we do," Gen snapped. She stood up from her seat and waved at Abby, who caught sight of the actress easily. Gen always had a way of commanding the room whenever she felt like it.

Therese felt her excitement plummet as she noted that only Abby was approaching their table. The blonde stayed back in their booth, shrugging off her blazer, revealing a crisp white button down that made Therese squirm.

"Fancy seeing you lot here," Abby said, leaning on their table. "Celebrating, I assume?"

Dannie held up the champagne and grinned. "You got that right, boss."

Therese kept her eyes fixed on her glass, afraid that by looking at Abby her gaze would give her away. Were the two a couple? No, of course not. They  were coworkers. Nothing more, right?

"Well I saw Gen and just wanted to come over and congratulate you guys. It was a terrific run, despite everything," with a pointed look at Richard, "so you deserve a well-earned night out."

The other three all responded to Abby with some sort of thanks and Therese forced herself to look up at her and smile. Her eyes were met steadily by the brunette, and though the gaze was firm, Abby smiled nonetheless.

"Good to see you again, Therese. A wonderful job on those photos, by the way."

Therese smiled, beaming proudly. "It was an honour, Abby."

What the fuck? An honour? Am I even saying coherent things? Therese tried to keep herself nonchalant and cool, though a prickling sensation on the back of her neck made her flustered. She looked around and found a pair of deep blue eyes staring back at her from the booth across the restaurant. Ross was looking at her intently, fingers grasping a martini glass. Therese felt her mouth go dry.

"I best get back, enjoy your night," Abby said and with that walked away. Therese lost contact with the blonde's eyes as Abby got back to their booth, their sudden and immediate chemistry forgotten.

Reminding herself to breathe, she tried tuning into Dannie arguing with Richard over some theatre related technicality, and she was filled with the sudden and desperate urge to abandon the three and run over to Abby and the director to hide away, just to get to know this Ross lady better.

"But hey, Terry, you're gonna come back to the theatre soon right? With your pictures and all that?" Richard's annoying voice brought her back to reality.

"Oh, I don't know," she shifted uncomfortably. "I've got a different job starting next week, so photography might be on hold for me for a while."

She chewed her lip, not wanting to say anything else. She had nothing against Dannie or Gen, but after her and Richard had broken up she tried to avoid talking to him as much as possible. In group settings, she was fine, and with their intimate circle of friends it was hard to avoid him so she didn't mind putting up with him.

But no, this job was hers. Not Richard's, Dannie's, Gen's. It was a step into a different direction for herself. And even though she told herself it was more for the pay, she couldn't help but be excited about the kids she was going to meet.

Dannie shifted the conversation to some lewd story from a theatre when he had been just starting out and Therese felt she could breathe again.

-

"Who is that girl sitting next to Dannie?"

"Therese? Oh, she was the photographer we had in just before the run, don't you remember?"

"Hmm right. I thought she seemed familiar," Carol sipped her martini slowly, eyes darting over to the petite brunette again.

"Stop it," Abby scolded.

"Stop what? I'm just getting a good look. It's been a long time since I've seen her."

"Whatever you're thinking of, Ross, you better cap it. I'll have you know she's a terrific photographer and I want to hire her again, though I won't be able to do that if my artistic director decides to... involve herself."

Carol smirked but backed down, leaning back against the seat and glancing out at the dark street, illuminated by hazy lights dancing in the fog that had spread over the city.

"You all set for September?" Abby asked. Carol's smile disappeared, her fantasies of the brunette forgotten as she looked at the year ahead.

"I have no idea, Abby. I haven't had Rindy for a full month since, well, since this whole mess started. Plus it's the beginning of the school year for her, you know how anxious that can make her."

"And you. You're always a mess when those things start up."

"Hush. At least the first week is cleared up for me, I can relax and take Rindy to school, pick her up, make her meals..."

Carol drifted off again in her non-working, stay at home mom dream that was finally happening in just over a week. Her and her daughter together without a show, without court, without fights... Bliss, she thought.

"You haven't forgotten our meeting with Jeanette though, right?" Abby asked cautiously, brows furrowing. Carol's head snapped up.

"What?"

"The meeting to finalize that you're stepping away from the theatre? C'mon, Carol."

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry Abs. I genuinely forgot." Carol whipped out her phone and hastily looked up the email Jeanette sent them. Wednesday. 3pm. At the exact time she was meant to pick up Rindy, she'd be on the other side of the city.

"Fuck," Carol groaned. "I guess I gotta get a sitter for Rindy then." God, she couldn't wait to be done work.

"Do they not have an after school program at Rindy's school? Just let her hang out there and we'll pick her up once we're done. It won't be more than an hour, Carol, I don't know if it's worth getting a sitter."

"No, you're right. I'll call them tomorrow and see what they can do," Carol sighed, putting her phone away.

Suddenly feeling the urge to check, she glanced over at the party from across the room, trying to catch a glimpse of the photographer again. She was disappointed to see that only Gen and Richard were left, who were at it with their usual banter at their table while eating. Dannie and Therese had disappeared.

"Carol," Abby warned.

"I know, I know. Sorry." Carol forced herself back to the conversation. "I'm hopeless, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are, you nitwit."

A/N: Life is insane, y’all. This story stumped me for a bit, but here I am. Hope you’re all good, let me know your thoughts <3 

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE ANATOMY OF VC BE A STARTUP

If in the next couple years. Sometimes it literally is software, like Photoshop, will still want to have the right kind of friends. Where the work of PR firms.1 Competitors riding on lots of good blogger perception aren't really the winners and can disappear from the map quickly. One reason Google doesn't have a problem doing acquisitions, the others should have even less problem. Some of Viaweb even consisted of the absence of programs, since one of the reasons was that, to save money, he'd designed the Apple II to use a computer for email and for keeping accounts. They want to know what is a momentous one. How do you find them? Suppose it's 1998. The big media companies shouldn't worry that people will post their copyrighted material on YouTube. Once someone is good at it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.

Gone with the Wind plus Roots. This is extremely risky, and takes months even if you succeed.2 At most software companies, especially at first. Their answers were remarkably similar. I use constantly?3 Combined they yield Pick the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. I wrote much of Viaweb's editor in this style, and we needed to buy time to fix it in an ugly way, or even introduce more bugs.4

Historically investors thought it was important for a founder to be an online store builder, but we may change our minds if it looks promising, turn into a company at a pre-money valuation is $1.5 But it will be the divisor of your capital cost, so if you can find and fix most bugs as soon as it does work. Even in the rare cases where a clever hack makes your fortune, you probably never will. You may not believe it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.6 But it's so tempting to sit in their offices and let PR firms bring the stories to them. Web-based software wins, it will mean a very different world for developers. I think we're just beginning to see its democratizing effects. But this is old news to Lisp programmers. If 98% of the time.7 It might help if they were a race apart.8

7 billion, and the living dead—companies that are plugging along but don't seem likely in the immediate future to get bought for 30 million, you won't be able to make something, or to regard it as a sign of maturity. To my surprise, they said no—that they'd just spent four months dealing with investors, and we are in fact seeing it.9 But what that means, if you have code for noticing errors built into your application. The number of possible connections between developers grows exponentially with the size of the group. We think of the overall cost of owning it. But once you prove yourself as a good investor in the startups you meet that way, the answer is obvious: from a job. Your housemate was hungry. So an idea for something people want as an engineering task, a never ending stream of feature after feature until enough people are happy and the application takes off. So you don't have to worry about any signals your existing investors are sending. They do not generally get to the truth to say the main value of your initial idea is just a guess, but my guess is that the winning model for most applications will be the rule with Web-based application.

It's practically a mantra at YC. You probably need about the amount you invest, this can vary a lot.10 If you lose a deal to None, all VCs lose.11 Plenty of famous founders have had some failures along the way. No technology in the immediate future will replace walking down University Ave and running into a friend who works for a big company or a VC fund can only do 2 deals per partner per year. For insiders work turns into a duty, laden with responsibilities and expectations.12 In addition to catching bugs, they were moving to a cheaper apartment.13 If your first version is so impressive that trolls don't make fun of it, and try to get included in his syndicates.14 VCs did this to them.15

Most people, most of the surprises. So the previously sharp line between angels and VCs. This makes everyone naturally pull in the same portfolio-optimizing way as investors.16 And there is a big motivator.17 These things don't get discovered that often. Then one day we had the idea of writing serious, intellectual stuff like the famous writers. You need investors. The mud flat morphs into a well. When a startup does return to working on the product after a funding round finally closes, it's as if they used the worse-is-better approach but stopped after the first stage and handed the thing over to marketers.

Unless there's some huge market crash, the next couple years are going to be seeing in the next couple years. And yet when I got back I didn't discard so much as a box of it. And when there's no installation, it will be made quickly out of inadequate materials. It's traditional to think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors at some point. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to sell.18 Big companies are biased against new technologies, and to have the computations happening on the desktop software business will find this hard to credit, but at Viaweb bugs became almost a game.19 Plans are just another word for ideas on the shelf.

I wouldn't try it myself. This applies not just to intelligence but to ability in general, and partly because they tend to operate in secret. Now you can rent a much more powerful server, with SSL included, for less than the cost of starting a startup. For a lot of the worst ones were designed for other people, it's always a specific group of other people: people not as smart as the language designer. We're not hearing about Perl and Python because people are using them to write Windows apps. But if you look into the hearts of hackers, you'll see that they really love it.20 I am always looking.21 But you know perfectly well how bogus most of these are. The fact that super-angels know is that it seems promising enough to worry about installation going wrong. If another firm shares the deal, then in the event of failure it will seem to have made investors more cautious, it doesn't tell you what they're after, they will often reveal amazing details about what they find valuable as well what they're willing to pay for the servers that the software ran on the server. Why can't defenders score goals too? If coming up with ideas for startups?

Notes

But if they pay a lot of people who need the money.

A Bayesian Approach to Filtering Junk E-Mail.

Unless you're very docile compared to sheep. Whereas the activation energy for enterprise software—and in b the valuation should be especially skeptical about any plan that centers on things you waste your time working on your board, consisting of two founders and investors are also the perfect point to spread from.

Surely no one on the way up into the heads of would-be poets were mistaken to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and cook on lowish heat for at least once for the correction. I know it didn't to undergraduates on the y, you'd see a clear upward trend.

The hardest kind of method acting. Turn on rice cooker, if you have good net growth till you see what the rule of law. But there are no discrimination laws about starting businesses. In fact, this seems empirically false.

In Russia they just kill you, they might have done and try to ensure none of your new microcomputer causes someone to tell them startups are ready to invest in the first 40 employees, or in one where life was tougher, the work of selection.

The best kind of kludge you need to, but except for money. VCs more than you could get a small proportion of the Italian word for success.

To a 3:59 mile as a motive, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to assume it's bad. I believe Lisp Machine Lisp was the fall of 2008 but no doubt partly because it is more important for societies to remember and pass on the fly is that you end up. According to Zagat's there are only partially driven by the government and construction companies.

One great advantage of startups have elements of both. Not least because they're determined to fight. The quality of investor behavior.

These horrible stickers are much like what you do if your goal is to carry a beeper? Acquisitions fall into in the angel is being unfair to him?

Which OS?

As I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, you're not allowed to discriminate on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the editor in Lisp, you might be tempted to ignore what your GPA was.

Prose lets you be more alarmed if you want to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. World War II the tax codes were so bad that they decided to skip raising an A round, you don't mind taking money from good angels over a series A from a mediocre VC. The dictator in the US. Google's revenues are about two billion a year for a couple hundred years or so you can make offers that super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats for shorter periods.

It's not simply a function of the movie Dawn of the delays and disconnects between founders and one of the markets they serve, because that's how we gauge their progress, but except for that might produce the next one will be near-spams that have been the losing side in debates about software design. Japanese.

There were a first—9. Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives were, they'd have something more recent. Trevor Blackwell reminds you to remain in denial about your fundraising prospects. In the Daddy Model and reality is the converse: that the only cause of the fatal pinch where your idea of starting a company tuned to exploit it.

A few VCs have an email being spam.

The late 1960s were famous for social upheaval. Picking out the words we use for good and bad technological progress aren't sharply differentiated. Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard.

So you can fix by writing library functions.

If Congress passes the founder of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that three quarters of them. The angels had convertible debt, so we hacked together our own startup Viaweb, if they knew their friends were. But be careful. The original Internet forums were not web sites but Usenet newsgroups.

The only people who had been with us if the quality of production. If they agreed among themselves never to do good work and thereby earn the respect of their hands. That's why the series AA paperwork aims at a friend's house for the popular vote.

Galbraith p. And so this one is harder, the median VC loses money. European art.

Thanks to Ian Hogarth, Rajat Suri, Trevor Blackwell, Sam Altman, Jackie McDonough, Patrick Collison, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading a previous draft.

[capricornus-rex]

Inseparable Dyad (5)

Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: When Cal follows his instincts to revisit Zeffo, you sense a great disturbance and urgency in the Force. A trap was set by bounty hunters who wanted either—or both—of your heads, but no one knows who has put the price.

Notes: Oh wow, finally finished the last part! This was fun to write, especially the 4th part. But now it’s time for the close. Glad you guys liked it and thanks for the support! Stay tuned for more fics, I have a lot in mind ;)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Masterlist

5 of 5

The Mantis is still traversing through hyperspace. It feels like it has been minutes since the ship outran the fighter ships and got away from the outpost. Merrin comes in holding two cups in each of her hands, a wisp of steam wafted out of the cups’ rims.

“It’s tea, it will help you relax,”

“Thank you, Merrin,”

She handed over each cup to you and Cal. You wrap your hands around the cup, savoring the heat spreading across your hands and then took a sip; you felt more of the heat within this time. Cal exhaled a sigh of relief with every sip, it seems that the tea is helping with releasing the tension from his muscles.

“Greez? Cere?” you called.

“Yeah?” Greez responded from the driver’s seat.

You stood up and sat on the vacant fourth seat in the cockpit. Cal stood by and leaned against the doorway frame.

“Any idea who that was?”

You heard Greez’s voice strain, “We just rescued you from the crime boss, Mux Odra,”

“Yeah, he introduced himself,” you cut in, hoping for a more elaborate answer. “Does he know either of you?”

“Well, he and I go way back, in a certain point of view,” Greez replied.

“Oh? And what’s that ‘certain point of view’?”

Greez struggled to explain in a way that would make you understand where he’s coming from in this situation. Cere then took the reins with the exposition.

“Mux Odra’s syndicate touches on illegal trafficking. Slave trade, auctions, exotic pet trades to name some.”

“But he tends to keep the ones he likes—they either go to his arena or his chambers.” Greez added.

“How did his men know that we were in Zeffo? The ambush looked like they were expecting us.” Cal joined in.

“They must’ve seen the Mantis on the landing pad,” Cere presumed. “They were able to jam our communication in-planet and off; that is why I couldn’t contact you from the ship.”

“I don’t expect you to know him before all of this,”

Cere leaned back to her seat, a slow, long sigh exited her nostrils, she avoided your eyes for a second and then turned them to Greez. You angled your head to Greez who had his back turned to you. There was silence in the ship. The captain felt all eyes on him, when he swiveled his chair, he found himself cornered by everyone’s stares—including Merrin way at the back, arms crossed over her chest and her hip leaning against the holotable’s edge. 

Greez sighed loudly, it was more of a loud groan rather. He knew he owed everybody an apology and explanation, at least except Cere.

“Like I said, he and I go way back. Before this stint with Cere, a few years ago, I crossed him on a game of Sabacc. I won fair and square on that round, he just didn’t like to be on the losing side. Just a disclaimer though: I’m not into gambling anymore! Frankly, I don’t understand why he decided to take it out on you guys after so long. Moreover, why would he know that I’m travelling with two Jedi?”

“How many gang leaders have you pissed off, Greez?” You blurt.

But Greez’s last sentence clicked. Cal beat you to asking the question.

“Is he popular with the other crime bosses?”

“Mux Odra? Oh sure, the other bosses like him, no doubt. He’s the life of the party!”

You picked up where Cal was getting at, you connected the dots so far in this conversation about Odra.

“Crime bosses like Sorc Tormo?” you cut in.

“Yeah…” Greez’s nervous voice fades out.

You and Cal exchanged glances. Without speaking to each other, you came to a conclusion, it’s as if both of you have connected the dots and completed the whole picture. Whatever you two were thinking together may be a theory or a speculation, but it is the most likely one.

Cere sensed the growing tension between you and Cal, she sensed what you were thinking.

“Cal, [y/n], what are you two getting at?”

“You guys rescued me from Sorc Tormo, it doesn’t take a genius to know that I’m travelling with you, Greez.”

“You’re implying that Mux Odra knows about you two because of Sorc,” Cere realized.

“Yes, and looking back, I think Sorc Tormo was still a little sour on my escape. It’s not a stretch to presume that he gave word to Mux Odra.”

“But how did he find us in Zeffo?”

“Sorc Tormo has all of his goons scattered to any world we’ve been to so far, that’s why the goons saw the Mantis land and blocked our communication. They must have sent word while we were exploring, that is how the ambush was staged. I had a feeling about it earlier, before we got captured.”

Cere called that a fair point. The possibility of Mux Odra sending out goons the same way the Haxion Brood is doing is brought up, there was a short silence, thinking of the possible solutions to rectify it.

“Well, we’ve gotten rid of the Haxion Brood goons well so far, though it just means extra work if Odra decided to send his men out,” You point out.

“We can take ‘em, right, [y/n]?” Cal winked and you returned a smile.

Cere gave a reassuring smile at the two of you. As a recompense, Greez decided to chart the course to a safe place he knows. He reassured the crew that it’s totally fine and no one will come looking for you there. They won’t even know that Mux Odra and Sorc Tormo has made a joint bounty out of you and Cal.

You and Cal returned to the couch at the holotable, neither of you spoke for a few minutes but you sensed that he wanted to say something. The moment was awkward but, fortunately, short-lived.

“[y/n], back at the outpost,” Cal starts. “I was seeing images in my mind, but I had the feeling that it was coming from you—like, you were the one sending those thoughts to me, you were the ones seeing those images in your perspective. I saw it, [y/n]: the room, Mux Odra sitting down, and even his voice when speaking to you. That was all you, wasn’t it? I’m right, aren’t I?”

You processed what Cal said, you didn’t actually think it would work and have the images make it to Cal’s mind.

“Yes,” your voice was soft and low. “I think I did. When I was looking around, the thoughts started to run in my mind, and then you were the first person I thought of. I hoped maybe—just maybe—it would let you know that I wasn’t far from you. My instincts told me that it would work, turns out it did. The truth is: this is the first time I’ve done it.”

The truth surprised Cal indeed, so many thoughts ran in his mind but they mostly revolved on this Force ability that you have. It was just as rare as his Psychometry. Your Force ability allowed you to communicate with another Force-user or sensitive through your mind—regardless of distance—you are capable of sending them thoughts, sentences, or images to the other person’s mind. Given that you’ve had little experience with this, you needed undisturbed concentration to be able to send vivid messages to the receiver’s mind.

You confessed that when you first learned about this ability, you told your late master and asked you to demonstrate it; when she experienced and witnessed it she sensed feelings and somehow blurry images, unlike Cal who was able to wholly see images vividly as he sees you before him, feel sensations and emotions, and even hear voices that you hear in your point of view. Recalling your younger days, you experimented on your own ability—you showed it to your closest friends amongst the Padawans, one of whom was Cal. You once personally consulted Master Yoda about your ability, he theorized that perhaps only with an individual whom you have nurtured and sustained a true, strong bond in the Force—your ability will reveal its true lucidity.

This time, you consulted Cere to see if she knows anything to support Master Yoda’s theory. She joins you on the couch at the lounge.

“A dyad in the Force,” Cere inferred.

“A dyad…?” You softly mutter in confusion.

“It’s a connection between two Force-sensitive beings,” Cere raised her index fingers on both hands and joined them together. “Which makes them one with the Force. Many Jedi believe that it is a rare but powerful bond, just as powerful as the Force itself. What happened in the arena was the catalyst. Through your ability, [y/n], you and Cal could communicate more than just with thoughts and images; it can be developed and learned over time, of course. A dyad can work in many ways, yours is just one example,”

“Is that why we know what to do together without even speaking? It’s like, a feeling or thought and then it turns out right in the end,” Cal inquired.

“Yes,” Cere managed a small smile. “It’s exactly that. You two have a shared gift, a very rare one at that.”

Cere politely excused herself and returned to the cockpit.

There was silence after she left. You were processing everything that she just explained to you. You try to recall the past instances where the dyad was manifesting without either of you knowing. That morning in Bogano when you were fighting off the Oggdos is a possibility, the fight at the arena was the strongest evidence, and you remember that one time you were meditating, but got too deep into the trance but Cal’s voice was the one you heard and led your subconscious back to reality.

Suddenly, you felt Cal’s hand gently clutch your lap, you slightly flinch after being lost again in deep thought. His soulful eyes twinkled as you looked right into them. You take his hand on your lap, your fingers intertwined with one another, you beamed him a secretive smile and closed your eyes. He scooched closer so he can let your head rest on his shoulder, his free hand secured you on the front, embracing you; he could feel the rhythm of your breathing, the slow rise and fall of your shoulders as you breathed, his heartbeat was slow but loud, it pounded under your hand resting on his chest. Both of you drifted off to sleep as the faint sounds of your hearts and breathing lulled you in a comforting peace.

[wordywarriorwrites]

Chapter 13: Settled Scores

Masterlist: The Boss of Brooklyn A03 Link Author: @wordywarriorwrites Summary: When it comes to being The Boss, James Buchanan “JB” Barnes rules with an iron fist. For him, there’s no room for sentiment, and certainly no time for distraction, even if it is in the form of an old flame. Steve Rogers had bowed out of the life a long time ago, but a twist of fate brings him right back into the fold, and face-to-face with a man he once loved. When a game of cat and mouse turns into a matter of life and death, both will be forced to decide whether they’ll be loyal to the business, or faithful to each other. A/N: Bucky Barnes Mob Boss AU. Stucky. For: Star’s Multi-Fandom Follower Celebration & Sherry’s Fall Into You Challenge. Warnings: Language, violence, drug use, alcohol, smoking, explicit sexual content, illegal activities.

As soon as he got back to Brooklyn, Bucky put everyone to work.

The Families were stronger together, and their combination of intelligence and brute force had never failed them before. The business may have been nearly destroyed, but it wasn’t irreparable, and they were nothing if not resilient.

Everyone had expected the fight to come to them. They’d planned for it and were ready for it, but nothing could have prepared them for what actually happened.

The first indicator that something wasn’t right was the sudden, unexpected lift on an offshore account they’d frozen months ago. When Bruce and Wanda dug into it, they discovered the money taken had belonged to Steve, but neither of them could figure out who had gotten their hands on it, let alone where the money had gone.  

Then, a few days later, Natasha found an article in the newspaper. Page six, below the fold, buried beneath the rest of the international news – an abandoned warehouse in Barbados had been blown sky-high. The local authorities suspected foul play, but other than the remnants of what appeared to be shell casings, cages, and camera equipment, they had nothing to go on.

Things went quiet for about a week, but eventually, another bombshell dropped. Barton had been overseeing a product shipment when Sam Wilson was found passed out in the back of a cargo container. Though the man hadn’t eaten, bathed, or slept in days, the first thing he asked for was a meet with the Boss.

At three o’clock in the morning, in the back seat of an Escalade parked by the docks – that’s when Bucky learned Steve had uncovered the truth and discovered who had sold him out. Sam wasn’t able to tell them where Fury and Steve had gone, or give them any names, but he insisted the only reason he was alive was because of Steve.

In the month that followed, there were a lot of whispers, but no actual confirmed sightings. Cuba, Haiti, Dominica, Grenada, Venezuela – it appeared they were hopping all over the West Indies, but nobody could be sure whether they were in pursuit of the betrayer or if they themselves were being chased.

It all eventually came to a head when Bruce uncovered suspicious movement in Tobago. Apparently, several plane tickets to New York had been purchased all at the same time. Since they’d been bought with cash, Bruce hadn’t been able to trace the buyer, but in the end, he hadn’t needed to.

Of all the people he could’ve called, Steve reached out to Thor; he said to expect them in five hours, and asked him to send Sam and Natasha to retrieve them at the airport. Their imminent arrival meant Bucky would get the answers he was owed and get his revenge, but first, he needed to prepare.  

Another day, another grave, and this time, there would be no mourners.

Wanda and Thor had provided the supplies. Tony made sure the police steered clear. Clint ensured those who worked the territory were given the night off and compensated for their troubles. After the four of them made their contributions, they let him alone to handle the rest.

Bucky could’ve easily paid someone to do the digging for him, but this particular hole in the ground was special, and he wanted it done right. The land was hard, nearly frozen solid, but that didn’t stop him; he forced the soil to give way and steadily worked toward making a six-by-six-foot chasm.

The blisters on his palms, the sweat on his brow, the ache in his back, the burn in his lungs and arms – it was cathartic. As the shovel moved and the dirt pile grew, he was also taken down into that silent, dark space inside himself, and he admittedly enjoyed the slow crawl into it.

Part of being Boss was ensuring that what occurred back stage stayed backstage. They always put on a show to distract the public, because what happened behind the curtain was bloody and violent, and those with delicate sensibilities couldn’t be permitted to know or see how shit really went down.

Things had gotten out of hand, and unfortunately, the masks had slipped, and they’d exposed themselves a bit too much. Outsiders had been allowed to infiltrate and rewrite the script, but he would no longer tolerate it. Steve may have selected the time for the song-and-dance, but Bucky had chosen the venue, and he was for damn sure running the show now.

This was his fucking city. These were his fucking people. And he was done fucking around.

When Bucky was satisfied, he tossed up the shovel, and used the small step ladder to climb out. The old paper mill he’d chosen for the meet was vacant and tucked out of the way, which meant there was nobody around to see him ready the center of the factory floor with thick, plastic sheeting. He’d just finished laying it and taping it down when the front doors opened and Natasha stepped over the threshold.

It only took a minute for everyone else to make their way inside, and those sixty seconds were very telling. The dead Senator’s wife and Sam’s little helper had huddled up close, and their expressions conveyed they’d chosen to cling to each other for safety, not warmth. Fury and his crew entered next, and their stoicism suggested they knew what was coming. Bucky fully expected Sam and Steve to bring up the rear, but when only Sam appeared, he looked to Natasha for an explanation.  

“He’s not here, but asked me to give you this,” she murmured. “Said it’s his payment in full.”  

A small tablet in a protective, leather case. Innocuous in and of itself, but once turned on and perused, the contents shook the very foundation of the business. There were dossiers on all of the heaviest hitters in both Brooklyn and the West Indies, and the material had the potential to completely shift the balance of power. On top of it, there were other records, which included detailed profiles on Fury’s crew, along with evidence that proved who was responsible for the debacle that had been his life for months.

Bucky lifted his gaze from the tablet and locked eyes with Fury. He didn’t have to ask if the man knew everything, nor did he have to wonder if the rest of his crew knew they had a traitor in their midst. One look at Sam and Natasha was all it took for Bucky to know they were also well aware of what had to happen.

Perhaps if it had been any other time, in any other place, Bucky would’ve shown mercy, but he’d run out of compassion long ago. He had zero sympathy for the so-called innocent and absolutely no desire to show a single ounce of leniency toward the guilty. The only recompense for treason was blood, and as Bosses, he and Nick were responsible for putting their perspective conspirators down.

“You know what you need to do,” Bucky stated calmly.

Fury said Maria’s name and both Natasha and Sam sprang into action. The rest of the crew gave them a wide berth, and while the other two women had to be forced onto their knees, Maria knelt willingly, and she was the only one who didn’t scream and beg for her life.

Bucky retrieved his gun from the base of his spine and disengaged the safety. He didn’t torture them or allow them any last words, and the only small courtesy he offered was a quick, clean death via a well-aimed bullet to each in turn.

Sam gave Fury his weapon, and though he’d accepted it without reluctance, he didn’t immediately pull the trigger. It could’ve been because they’d known each other a long time, or maybe it was because he just needed closure – whatever the reason, he hesitated, and asked her why she did it.

The litany of excuses was as predictable as it was pathetic. Maria accused Fury of replacing with her with an amateur; said it was her plan that got them into the United States; insisted Nick was the one who screwed it up because he was weak, old, and allowed sentiment to get in the way.

Fury reminded her Steve only got caught because she’d set him up; told her the man didn’t deserve to die because of her greed and jealousy; explained he did what he did in order to save Steve’s life and avoid a war. Maria retorted that Fury was going to retire and leave everything to Steve, and she did what she had to do to protect the mantle that was rightfully hers.

The back and forth went on for some time, and Bucky managed to tune most of it out, but when she said Steve was feeble, treacherous, and pitiful, he couldn’t help but be drawn back in.

“Unlike your precious, golden boy, my loyalties have never been divided,” she spat. “And you’re an idiot if you think Steve’s so-called respect for you will ever outweigh his obsession with Barnes.”

Fury shook his head, but before he could say anything more, Maria shifted her ire, and focused it on Bucky. She sneered that Steve was a chatty drunk, and all it took was a few drinks for him to get sloppy and start blubbering on and on about how James Barnes was, “the one who got away.”

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky,” she jeered. “You pity-fucked him once, and he still cried out for you like that in his sleep. And I knew – I knew when he caught up with us that he’d crawled back into bed with you. He sold us all out! He’s nothing more than an unworthy, ungrateful, deceitful whore!”

Rage, threadbare patience, and itchy trigger fingers – it was a bad, bad, bad combination, but it wasn’t Bucky or even Fury who decided to finally shut her up.

Natasha tersely muttered, ‘that’s quite enough,’ aimed, sent a knife flying.

Whatever else may have spewed out of Maria’s mouth was cut off, and the next sound she made was little more than a wet gurgle. Blood dribbled down her chin before it bloomed across her chest.

Then, she was gone. Chapter 14: Vortex

Everything: @jennmurawski13​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​

Steve Rogers: @patzammit @hearttoearth​ The Boss of Brooklyn: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @captain-rogers-beard

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Second Love

LoganLight, AO3

Summary:

Adrien isn’t one to fall in love slowly. So, when his heart pulls him in a new direction he goes all in.

Notes: Written for Week 3 of Adrien AUG-reste.

————————————————–

Adrien parried Kagami’s strike and launched a counter attack. Kagami was ready however and dodged easily while landing a hit.

“Sloppy, Adrien,” Kagami commented as they retook their positions.

“Oh, you know,” Adrien replied with a teasing lilt. “It’s hard to focus when your opponent’s so pretty.”

Kagami missed her lunge and Adrien scored a hit. She lifted her mask so he could see her narrowed eyes. That was the first time Adrien called her pretty. Your underhanded tactics won’t be enough to secure victory!

“Is that why I beat you so easily?” Kagami asked.

Adrien lifted his own mask to reveal a smug grin. “You don’t need a handicap for that.”

 Kagami felt a blush forming so she resumed her stance. He did likewise and they crossed swords.

Kagami was grateful for these one-on-one practice sessions. Even though they saw each other at many mutual high-class events it wasn’t the same. They were expected to act a certain way while representing their parents. But when they were fencing?

Adrien mirrored her movements perfectly. Her skill forced him to fight with everything he had. Kagami brought out the best in him and Adrien grinned at the challenge. There were no illusions when they were fencing. He could glimpse the parts of Kagami she kept hidden. Adrien was sure she could see him more clearly, too.

Kagami understood what it was like to be held up to impossible expectations. In his opinion, Kagami did it much better than him.

Which is probably why he was on his back at the moment.

“You let yourself become distracted,” Kagami accused while pointing her foil at him.

“Guilty,” Adrien admitted, embarrassed.

He got back on his feet and they started again. Kagami was always impressive with a sword; her movements fluid and sure like the Dragon she was. Especially motivated by his teasing to show him who’s boss.

But Adrien had motivations of his own. Recalling the move D'Argencourt used on him, Adrien twisted his foil around Kagami’s and shot it out of her hands. He could feel her surprise through the mask.

Removing his mask he smiled at her. “How’d I do?”

Kagami took off her own mask. “That was new.”

Adrien’s smile morphed into a grin. “I’m full of surprises. Some find it, disarming.”

Kagami stared at the self-satisfied look on his face. “… I’ll give you that one but you need better material.”

Adrien pouted.

Kagami turned away to hide her blush and the small smile tugging on the corners of her lips. “Anyway, we should get changed.”

 They went to remove their sweaty gear. Adrien thinking of ways to make Kagami laugh. Kagami thinking of Adrien’s compliments and if they meant what she hoped they did.

 ——————————–

“What made you decide to switch targets?”

Adrien missed the intended keys and the piano clanged in protest. He gazed at her with wide, startled eyes then looked down. “I… I realized something recently.”

“And that is?” Kagami prodded gently.

Adrien took a deep breath. “That it’s not enough to choose someone. They have to choose you, too. And she didn’t. It took me a long time to accept that.”

Kagami was silent as she thought over her words. “You are sure this time?”

Adrien gave her a rueful smile. “You’re an incredible person, Kagami. Honest, brave, loyal. And you picked me. That… I’d like to make it work. If you’ll give me another chance?”

Kagami felt her cheeks heat up at his hopeful look. “I would like that very much.”

Adrien’s whole face lit up and this time it was Kagami’s turn to look away. She smiled at how Adrien wore his heart on his sleeve. For his part he admired Kagami’s rare, shy smile.

Adrien reluctantly pulled himself out of the gentle gaze he was giving Kagami. “… Do you want me to play anything?”

Kagami blinked as she came out of her own thoughts. “Pardon?”

Adrien rubbed the back of his head and gestured to his piano. “I do have to practice. Just thought you might want something specific?”

“I’d like to listen to your favorite, actually,” Kagami said. “You haven’t told me what it is.”

Adrien grinned and started playing an upbeat tempo that reminded him of black-and-white American cartoons and barroom brawls. Kagami wasn’t expecting that but what surprised her most was Adrien himself.

Kagami had never seen him so into a song before. She’d only heard him play a handful of times, true, but he didn’t smile then. He seemed to bounce with the melody and Kagami soon found herself tapping her feet to the rhythm.

The song was so unlike everything that was expected of them. It wasn’t the sterile so-called perfection that permeated their families. Kagami understood what this meant to Adrien without him having to say a word.

They smiled at each other as the joyful tune filled Adrien’s empty room.

—————————-

“No, no, no!” Vincent cried. “I need emotion! Like when your maman serves fresh made spaghetti!”

“Mother doesn’t cook,” Kagami replied stiffly.

Adrien smiled placatingly at the exasperated photographer and placed a gentle hand on Kagami’s shoulder. “Let me try.”

He turned Kagami away from the demanding cameras so they wouldn’t see her struggle. “How you holding up?”

“I’ve done photo ops before. Those photographers weren’t nearly so demanding,” Kagami admitted.

They were at a photoshoot to promote the Agreste and Tsurugi families’ joint venture.

Adrien gave her a sympathetic look. “Yeah, Vincent always gets the best photos but he’s not easy to satisfy. I remember how awkward my first time modeling was. It took me a while to relax.”

“You were quite awkward in the photo you showed me,” Kagami pointed out, a question in her voice.

Adrien rubbed the back of his head, blushing slightly at the memory of his first photo-shoot. “Father intervened.”

Kagami gave him a small smile. “It’s endearing.” Kagami took pleasure in watching his blush darken. “… I’m unsure I’ll be able to perform what’s expected of me.”

Adrien dropped his hand from her shoulder to lace his fingers through her’s. “Think of it as a fencing match. How do you prepare for those?”

“I imagine my opponent prostrated before me after I have defeated them,” Kagami stated seriously.

Adrien blinked then his lips curled up in a smirk. “Well, then think of that with Vincent,” he stage whispered.

Kagami’s eyes took on a predatory glint.

Things went more smoothly after that and they made good progress. Adrien was happy to have someone to talk with; it made the usually boring shoot fun. Kagami gained a new respect for Adrien. His schedule was filled with so many of these! It wasn’t like fencing really but thinking of that gave Kagami something to focus on.

As the photographer wrapped up the young couple wondered when they’d have time to go on their first proper date.

 —————————-

Adrien and Kagami ran through the crowd hand in hand. They flew as though being pursued. Which would only happen if they’d made a mistake in sneaking away from their respective guardians.

Planning the date without telling either of their parents turned out to be harder than expected. The convention may last all week but their schedules didn’t align for most of it.

Still. Adrien had never cosplayed before and Kagami had never been to a convention. Neither was going to miss the first one dedicated specifically to the Guardians of Paris.

Not for the first time Kagami thought about how unfair it was that he’d chosen her alter ego. Ryuko’s colors looked good on him. For his part Adrien thought the same thing about Kagami choosing to cosplay as Aspik. Especially since Viperion was much more popular.

Needless to say, both were blushing messes. Pretending they weren’t a romantic tension filled moment away from melting into a puddle of goo… Kagami was better at pretending than Adrien.

“Tell me again about this akuma video game?” Kagami asked. Adrien was very excited when he heard Max would show it off since he hadn’t gotten a chance to play it yet.

“Max designed the game himself! It’s got all the villains up to Gamer 2.0 and he’s thinking of adding the new ones eventually.” Adrien led her through the miling crowd of superheroes.

Mostly everyone dressed up as Ladybug and Chat Noir, with a few of the other heroes thrown in. Which was part of the reason Adrien insisted on coming as anyone besides them.

That and he didn’t want to see Kagami as Ladybug. That was just asking for trouble.

They found Max’s stall filled with people playing on a half dozen consoles. The line moved quickly as every pair was only allowed a three fight round. Max himself was engrossed in a fierce battle; Adrien didn’t want to break his concentration.

Kagami observed the unusual battles with interest. If she was going to beat Adrien she’d need every advantage. Finally it was their turn.

“I may not have played the game before but Max says the mechanics are similar to UMS III. And I’m still the second best player in our school,” Adrien boasted playfully, purposefully stoking her competitive side.

“Only second best? My victory is assured then. I may be rusty but my proficiency in gaming will be more than enough to destroy you.” Kagami would not let his smug smirk go unchallenged!

Adrien’s grin widened and he picked M. Pigeon, eager to see if the villain would be as effective as last time.

Odd but then so was her date; Kagami chose Riposte.

Adrien gave her a questioning look. Kagami straightened her posture in determination. “He doesn’t control me,” she said simply.

Adrien nodded, he was always in awe of Kagami’s strength and this small display was no exception.

Adrien and Kagami fought furiously for dominion. Learning the controls on the fly and trying to one up each other.

M. Pigeon’s victory caught Kagami by surprise. “Since when can he do that?”

“M. Pigeon used Meteor Strike! It’s super effective!” Adrien leaned into her space. “Say, what do I get if I win?”

Kagami leaned in. “I suppose you’d get to kiss me.”

Adrien turned bright red.

“And if I win I get to kiss you,” Kagami continued.

Powering through the thought of a kiss he could actually remember Adrien focused. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

Kagami gave him a predatory look. “Not at all.”

Adrien swallowed and met her charged gaze with his own. “Guess I better win then.”

Kagami won the next round.

“Why’d you pick Reflekta?” Kagami asked curiously.

Adrien sighed at the Mime’s victory pose onscreen. “I rock a mean pair of high heels.”

Kagami blinked in surprise, then she smiled. “How bold of you.”

Adrien rubbed the back of his head shyly.

Kagami picked Darkblade for the last round. Adrien thought of choosing Troublemaker like Ladybug had but decided to go with Kung Food.

The last fight was much more balanced as both of them had gotten used to the controls. Kung Food had greater range but Darkblade had better defense. Adrien threw cheese bombs as Kagami dodged and blocked. She managed to get close enough to make Kung Food pull out his sword.

Both were on their last sliver of health as they attacked. Their characters charged and hit each other simultaneously. Both fell as the screen proclaimed their battle a tie.

“… Max!” Adrien exclaimed.

“That was unexpected,” Kagami pulled Adrien out of the way of the next pair of players.

“He would put a mutual K.O. in his game!” Adrien grumbled as they walked to a less crowded corner.

“Are you upset because you think you don’t get to kiss me?” Kagami asked.

Adrien reddened slightly. “Well, we don’t have a winner and… What do you mean by that?”

Kagami turned to face him, her cheeks tinted pink. “In a certain sense we both won.” She let that sink in for a moment.

Adrien’s eyes widened and then he was giving her that soft look again. He stepped closer and Kagami did the same. Heedless of the noise of strangers surrounding them.

The kiss was gentle and tentative. Adrien was as soft as she imagined him to be. Kagami as warm as he knew she could be.

They pulled apart slowly and as they stared into each other’s eyes Kagami said the first thing that came into her head. “You smell like Camembert.”

Adrien’s face burned. "I’m sorry! I can’t help it! There’s this, um-“

Kagami placed a finger on his lips. "I like Camembert.” Adrien got even redder if that was possible and she swore she heard someone stifling their laughter.

“You do?” Adrien’s face was an odd mix of relief and chagrin.

“But I’m not sure I want a boyfriend that smells like cheese all the time.” Kagami teased stepping out of his grasp.

Boyfriend! “Yeah, hate for you to tell our friends your boyfriend stinks and give them the wrong idea.” Adrien reached out and grabbed her hand. That was the first time Kagami had called him her boyfriend!

“As opposed to the right idea?” Kagami decided that a blushing Adrien was well worth the effort. Even if he did get used to most of her teasing by the second go around.

Instead of answering immediately Adrien reached up to remove their masks. They didn’t get in the way of the game so they’d been left on.

“I’m sure they already know what my girlfriend got herself into.” Adrien was gratified to see Kagami’s blush darken to match his.

“Return my mask, Adrien. It completes the look,” Kagami said to distract herself.

Adrien complied. “I like being able to see your face. When I first saw you I thought: Wow, she’s cute!”

Kagami smiled shyly as she looked down at her mask. Adrien was always so liberal with his compliments. She had trouble in that department. “When you returned my saber to me I realized how honorable you are. Not many opponents would insist on a rematch after being declared the winner.”

“… You didn’t have to comfort me that day,” Adrien said. “But you did. You were gentle with me. Kind. And I-”

“You’ve already apologized for that,” Kagami interrupted. “And I will not have my boyfriend under a self-inflicted debt.”

“Well. Why don’t you humor me and let me take you ice skating again?” Adrien asked. “A proper date. Just the two of us this time.” He clasped her hands between his as he looked into her eyes.

“As I recall I took you ice skating,” Kagami corrected. “But I’m not opposed to the idea.”

Adrien laughed lightly. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

The young couple redonned their masks as they went to explore the rest of the convention. Wandering anonymously and aimlessly to whatever caught their eye.

And as they walked among superheroes Adrien realized that he hadn’t reacted to the red and polka dots once.

Kagami squeezed his hand and he returned the gesture. They were both making this up as they went along and neither was sure of where it would lead. But Adrien knew they’d figure it out together.

————————————————–

Notes: Basically I took that soft look Kagami got at the end of Oni-chan and ran with it. Also needs more puns. (Written before Desperada)

[toho-literature]

Bohemian Archive in Japanese Red: Pages 163-167 - ZUN Interview

Introduction to "Touhou" Game Design

To accompany this spin-off, along with the upcoming release of Phantasmagoria of Flower View, the kannushi of fantasy, ZUN, will reveal the inner workings of his mind. The goal of this interview was to have ZUN talk about his gaming history and his stance on game systems, as well as to express the concept behind his new game Phantasmagoria of Flower View.

The Philosophy of Establishing the Foundation for a Game World

Interviewer: Today, we will be asking ZUN about the philosophy at the heart of his games. First, may I ask when the first time you played a game was?

ZUN: It was when I was in kindergarten. My parents placed a table arcade machine in their cafe to lighten up the atmosphere. That kindled my interest in games, and during elementary school, the Famicom came out and we bought one right away. When I got a new game, I'd play them with my friends inside and out. But normally I would go outside and catch bugs and stuff, too. I was a normal countryside kid, after all.

Interviewer: What games from back then left an impression on you?

ZUN: Super Mario Bros. left the biggest impression on me. Before then, games didn't scroll, and there were still many games with black backgrounds. But in Super Mario Bros., if you went underground, there was an underground world. If you went above the clouds, there was a world up there, too. All the different places you could go in itself surprised me, and the fact that the music also changed with the setting was impressive. The next impact was from... Street Fighter 2. It was almost like a second revolution. Everyone would play the game, so it was a way to fight without physically hurting each other. The play control was incredible, too. I would put in up to 10,000 yen in a day sometimes. That made my allowance disappear in a flash. (laugh)

Interviewer: In both of these games, what points about the game's system or quality were important?

ZUN: Those games were revolutionary because they had things like different systems from games before them, creating new atmospheres within themselves. Later, people would say stuff like "that game engine was revolutionary" or "the characters had a lot of appeal", but at the time, no one really thought about the individual aspects because they were too busy playing. Games don't become hits because of those kinds of reasons. The systems in those games weren't just the pinnacle of all the games made up to that point, there was also a decisive difference. If I had to put it into words, I would say they "created a new world". Though it's a little different from the usual meaning, let's just go with that. Now to speak about my thoughts on game design, about establishing the foundation for a world. I try to design my games to exist in their own world. At the base of everything is the game world, and I structure the game's genre and system upon that, from which the pictures and music flow. One can feel this establishment as they play the game, so I believe. That's why the game's quality as it is called is just one part of the game, so if you get too obsessed about that, I'm afraid it will lose all meaning as a video game. A lot of people say "the true nature of a game is it's quality, and quality and setting are different things", however, I don't think that they are exclusive concepts, and that they should be thought of as one. If you look at Xevious or Space Invaders, it is obvious that even at that time, games weren't mere collections of symbols. Even the very first video game was only about bouncing a ball back and forth, but even though it was a brand-new way to play it, it was still called Pong. So, the way I see it, this was a "world" that just happened to have nothing but ping-pong. However, even with that theory, if it's not interesting, it probably can't be considered a success. On the other hand, only focusing on the basics isn't interesting either, so it is important to be able to connect both aspects to make a fun game. Based on experience, being able to fine-tune a game's quality or system is unmistakably engaging, but I think that games without that extra coat of paint are mistaken as "genuine". Before it can be played as a game, I think it is very important for it to have its own setting.

Interviewer: Now, when you say "creating a world", that comes with very broad implications, so I imagine there will be many different approaches to establishing a world.

ZUN: Please think of the quality of a setting and how well it is established as different things. For example, take sci-fi worlds or retro worlds. How well they are liked relates to the quality of how the setting is established. On the other side, how well the music and the backgrounds match the setting, how the game controls feel, even up to entering a name for a high score, those are aspects relating to the quality of a certain setting. The way I see it, however you decide to establish a world, you need to decide it on based on the design of the created world. During the establishment of a game, particularly when making characters for the so-called world creation, people make the mistake of saying "This won't have any effect on the game", but even among these same people there are those who say "Because this character is in the game, I hate it." This claim is proof enough that even characters can influence a game. If it truly didn't matter, then the game would be playable no matter what the setting is. This means that the "hate" that is felt is proportional to how much influence the aspect has on the game. Conversely, I admit that there are bad games with well-designed worlds. In Battle Garegga (*1), there was a very charismatic last boss called Black Heart. That is a good example of how a game's design can really make a character appealing. Before his boss appearance, you would see a bunch of smaller Black Hearts come out and do stuff. That was very important.

Interviewer: Is creating a world the same as giving meaning to every individual element in the game?

ZUN: For that, I'd like to talk about CAVE, who have always done a great job in creating their worlds. In Progear (*2), the look of the game changes as time passes from morning to evening, then to night, and when you start the second loop, it's morning again. A simple thing like the flow of time gives a real feeling of "progression". There is a similar effect in Guwange (*3), where it goes from the white color scheme in the town, to the darkness of Hell at the end. The stages flow smoothly, and in addition, it starts out in summer, and goes to fall, winter, and spring. The look of the game's stages have meaning. The player gets absorbed into the world of these kinds of games. In Darius Gaiden too, even though it seems like the most attention was given to its quality, I think the reason for its popularity was the world inside it. The fact is, I was influenced by Darius Gaiden when I made the Touhou games.

Interviewer: Can you give any specific examples of this influence?

ZUN: In Darius Gaiden, there would be boss battles as long as 2/3rds of the stage, and the bosses would have personalities. Another characteristic is that the game would be organized solely to keep things exciting during the middle. Until then, when talking about games, people would only say things like "stage 3 was fun, stage 4 was...", but in Darius Gaiden, there was Octopus and Great Thing, and people could call bosses by name when they talked about the game. It meant that these game symbols were becoming something else. This "change" of turning symbols into characters made its way into Touhou, too. So, the first point of influence is making the games heavily favor boss battles, the second is the "Spell Card" system that tied characters to specific attack patterns, and the third is the result of making bosses no more than mere game symbols obsolete.

Interviewer: So when creating a unique world for a game, it's fundamentally impossible to create something like Touhou with more than one person?

ZUN: That's my opinion. In games where there are many people working on it, even in a best-case scenario, only a few people are working on the game design. As the game nears completion, they have to pull double duty, working on other tasks in addition to design. It's definitely the hardest phase of making a game. For my latest game, Phantasmagoria of Flower View, while I had to ask a few people for help, I was the only one working on it, so it was still largely a solo effort. I think it was best for the game. For Phantasmagoria of Flower View, the theme I made was "enjoyable while playing and after playing". Usually, you may think "playing is fun", and it's exciting to do so, but if playing is all there is, then it's unexpectedly not fun. Music that is enjoyable, an enjoyable world, setting, and characters, and the entire atmosphere. If everything doesn't have that feel-good quality, then it feels bad. To sum it up, if you only focus how it feels to play the game, you won't see anything else.

The Attitude of Doujin Developers Not Focusing on Sales and Continuing to Make Games They Like

ZUN: I would like to say that even if a game doesn't sell very well, it can still be a good game. Making a game sell is a different story, though.

Interviewer: You think that doujin developers are not trying to make their games sell?

ZUN: There's no effort whatsoever. They believe that since they're small outfits, there's no obligation to do so. They'll go on making their own thing, never accepting or even seeking criticism of any kind. As an extension, they won't even care about publicizing their games. No advertising or anything to draw attention to new releases, not even on their own website.

Interviewer: So those developers purposefully isolate themselves?

ZUN: There are instances where they are just so busy it's hard for them to find time to handle PR, but otherwise, I would say yes. However, while it's natural to get inspiration from other works, if you get too caught in being worried what other people will think of your game, that's going to do nothing but hurt your productivity. Of course, I think that in the case of businesses, not caring about a game's reception is a real issue. They should be proactive in getting opinions through people who fill out surveys, fan sites, and other sources.

Interviewer: But in the case of doujin developers, it's better not to do that?

ZUN: Doujin developers are basically mini-businesses, so they should still act like businesses, and always be looking ahead. I think that consumers demand too much from doujin creators, things that are not doujin-like. When you compare the differences between businesses and doujin developers, too many requests and criticisms can wear down on the creator, so the market atrophies as a result. However, in the case of Touhou, its scope is still widening, and there are as many people playing it as there are playing commercial games, so it's gotten to the point where I can't ignore the fans even if I try. That's why those the production side should not be so aloof. That's my general mindset, although I get the feeling I've been a bit cold towards my fans recently. (laugh)

Interviewer: By the way, what programs do you use in the development of the Touhou games?

ZUN: I don't use the software or programs that most doujin developers generally use when I make my games. On my computer, I use my own version of DOS-V, and my development environment is a compiler, Visual Studio. For pictures, it's generally Photoshop, and for music I use Cubase SX, but not Prouse. It was a lot harder for doujin developers to make games 10 years ago. No matter what you made, it took a lot of blood, sweat, and effort. I don't like my expression when I exert a lot of effort so I don't do it very often. (laugh)

Interviewer: Do you have any advice for people who want to make games?

ZUN: I think that people who want to work for a game company and those who want to make games should receive separate advice. First, to those who want to work for a game company, the ratio of people who want to work for a company versus the number who are actually hired is incredibly large, so to stand out, it's important to hone and improve your unique qualities. I presented Touhou to demonstrate mine, but that was because I had to put a considerable amount of effort into it. Also, there are a lot of people who want to work for a game company who go to college or technical school, but because they feel the gap between what they want to do and the regular office work they actually do, almost all of them quit. That may be because they didn't want to make games, just work for a game company. To those who want to make games, you might want to exclusively study that field, but I recommend you go to college and get a regular education. If you can adapt to your surroundings then, you can improve yourself as a person.

Pursuing the Feel-Good Quality for Phantasmagoria of Flower View

Interviewer: The theme for Phantasmagoria of Flower View seems to be very cheerful, being about flowers (laugh). How would you describe it?

ZUN: It's something I've always wanted to make. Phantasmagoria of Flower View is a game I made with the notion of something that you can play casually and still have fun. I would like to think that even those who didn't like the moderately serious settings of the previous games still enjoyed them, but on the other hand, I realize you can't please everyone. The response to the trial version has been positive, though, so I'm actually a little confused. (laugh)

Interviewer: So the music is enjoyable as well?

ZUN: While it's not like the music hasn't been suited for its stages up to now, there were considerable limits. But this time, there is nothing resembling progression within a stage and the only thing that flows is the background. It felt good and because of that reason, I thought I could compose some really beautiful songs. As a song repeats during a game, it gets stuck in your head. By doing away with any forced mid-stage dialog, I didn't have to think about arranging the music around them.

Interviewer: How does the story feel?

ZUN: There are a few tense, interesting parts to it, but it's still a little long so I'm presently fine-tuning it (laugh). This time, each character will have their own ending, so with repeated playthroughs, you can learn all kinds of things about the characters as well as their relationships. If you play through it once, you won't get the whole picture, just as the characters themselves don't fully understand the events that unfold by the end, but that's just another Touhou-like thing about the game.

Interviewer: A versus shmup was unexpected. What was your intention?

ZUN: While I wasn't planning on making a game this year, it's Touhou's 10th anniversary so I thought really, really hard about it. A lot of people are playing the Touhou games now, so I wanted to do something that would get everyone excited... so I intended for this to be a fan-service game and make it like Twinkle Star Sprites. Maybe the people who play Touhou haven't played Twinkle Star, maybe they have. I don't think I'm trying to "compete" with it though. For example, people can only eat so much, so restaurants have to compete with each other by creating their own unique aspects. However, the same isn't true in the case of games. Instead, the thought process is that by creating something good, regardless of source, then everyone who is interested in those kinds of games will also be drawn in. Among shmups, this doesn't necessarily steal a share of the customers, and instead, it's called respect. This kind of synergy increases the whole shmup scene by another level. That's what I'm aiming for.

Interviewer: Finally, I'd like to ask about where you place this book, Bohemian Archive in Japanese Red.

ZUN: This book and the game, Shoot the Bullet have a mutual influence on each other, and I wanted to make something that would give people who already know about Touhou even greater enjoyment. That's why the story of this book is a bunch of interesting news articles about all kinds of things. While I don't think there are THAT many people who play the games, I wanted to give anyone familiar with the series and in-depth, up-close look at it. So I guess I didn't make this book for newbies, but for people who have had at least some experience with it. But if by accident someone new does read this book... they might be surprised. (laugh)

(*1) 1996 Released by Eighting Mechanic brothers challenge a federation in this vertically-scrolling shmup. The player controls a fighter plane.

(*2) 2001 Released by Capcom Young children fight tyranny in propeller-driven planes in this horizontally-scrolling shmup.

(*3) 1999 Released by CAVE Set at the end of the Muromachi period, a trio of shikigami users face a trial in this vertically-scrolling shmup.

(*4) 1994 Released by Taito A horizonally-scrolling shmup, the side story to the original game released by the same company in 1986. Famous for its bosses based around an aquatic creature motif.

(*5) 1995 Released by ADK A very unusual versus-style shmup. On July 28th, 2005, SNK Playmore released a remake called Twinkle Star Sprites ~La Petite Princesse~ for the PlayStation 2.

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,330

Home alone for the first time in I think three weeks?? And by home I mean Allynda’s home. Lights off almost everywhere. Moon lamp, Scentsy dark crystal, candle, streetlight, three more candles, and the lowest lighting of the touch lamp. The Ballad of Love and Hate playing. Just got out of a hot hot bath during which I decided I feel capable of writing out the love story, well at minimum the beginning of it. I would call the start the best part, but I hesitate to say so. Intimacy was the best. Before that was just the delicious anticipation of that. Yeah so I realized I want to write about it tonight which was the smallest gasp of relief. I know there was a time when I couldn’t fathom remembering the sweetness. Begged for protection from those memories actually. And truthfully, I think that prayer was heard and answered. Sure they suddenly come for me sometimes, but they’re almost always quick and painless, like a shiver. Like a muscle memory. Phantom. Hm, hm.

“You’re still all over me like a wine stained dress I can’t wear anymore.”

We knew each other back when we were kids. To be specific, he was definitely a kid and I was in high school haha. (I believe he’s four years younger than me.) We were goof around pals that saw each other occasionally when our churches got together for Christianese functions. It wasn’t a close friendship, but me and my friends were very fond of him and his best friend. I left home in 2010 and probably interacted with him online once or twice throughout the next seven years of wandering on my own. I wasn’t keeping tabs.

November 2017. His best friend ended up falling head over heels in love with an old friend of mine. They had a sweet little “café con leche” wedding ceremony. There were a whole pile of people I knew at the reception and we filled up a long table. I noticed two friends seemed to be checking somebody out and when I curiously turned to follow their eyes, there was Omar. And uh, haha, he was definitely no longer a kid. Broad shoulders and the longest curls. I noted that he was nervously glancing around the room, probably looking for someone he knew. (I found out later it was an uncomfortable wedding for him.) Without a second thought, I stood up and excited rushed over to him. It was a short conversation, an exchange of pleasantries. What he’d been up to and what I’d been doing. He told me he was a vagabond and I told him I’d just been assigned the role of Staff Director at Sky Lodge. I mentioned that if he didn’t have anything going on in the summer he should come up and work. He said it’s something he had considered before and gave me a maybe. I don’t believe I saw him again the rest of the night.

Fast forward to the spring hiring season. For a few months, week after week, day after day, I was trying to round up summer staff, particularly a strong adult leadership team. I was interacting with maybe 100 college kids throughout this process with the goal of getting around 12 of them to commit to a full summer at camp. It is a grueling process. That spring specifically I felt like I was being forced to relentlessly coerce others to apply for a ministry they seemed to have Absolutely Zero Interest in. The applicants I did have were concerning to me as far as trustworthiness. I knew I wasn’t doing a great job and that knowing made it hard to do even a good job. Once May came around I had no fight left in me. And then I got weird messages from Omar. He had said early on that he wasn’t available, but whatever he had lined up fell through so he was wondering if there were still spots. I sent him the info and he said he’d apply that evening. A couple days later nothing had come through from him so I messaged him to see what was up. He had read the application and was no longer interested. I had a gut feeling and asked, “Is it because you don’t think you want to work for us or because you think you won’t get hired?” He told me it was a little of both and felt like parts of the application process were intrusive. Which, lol, he wasn’t wrong. I was thrilled. Asked if he’d be willing to fill it out and then have a longer discussion with me about his misgivings. He said he would. I remember calling my sister after I read what he submitted and giddy announcing, “HE’S A REAL LIFE PERSON.” He hadn’t given religious robot answers. He’d been forthright and controversial. He would bring something So Different than everybody else I was hiring AND THAT POSSIBILITY WAS DEEPLY INTRIGUING TO ME. I scheduled his interview, knowing I’d be deciding if we were going to hire him BUT ALSO he would be deciding if he wanted to come. I told him he should take a few days to really really think it through, talk it over with people he trusted, and genuinely pray about it. I started asking God to work it out if it was supposed to.

Okay. A little pause because I’m about to write about a part that I want to make sure comes off as how it actually was. First, I want to be clear that I was 0% attracted to this person at this stage. We were both grown, but he was still a kid to me. A long ago friend who I’d lost touch with. I was in boss mode, desperate to have admirable leaders I could count on for the summer (which was only a week away). Second, there was a specific season of my life where I considered myself very in tune with the Holy Spirit. I communicated with Her consistently and believed I heard from Her pretty often. That may sound kooky to you, but it doesn’t change what I believed then haha. This story I’m telling occurred like, five years after that Era of Very In Tune. Which I feel the need to say because like, interacting with the Holy Spirit still happens in my life, but rarely. I’m not seeking it out as frequently and hardly ever get anything straight from Her. Lol, if this weirds you out, no worries it weirds me out too. Okay so. With those said.

The morning before his phone interview, I was driving around a riding mower praying about the conversation we were going to have. I was concerned that he wasn’t going to choose us, worried about how I might screw up a good thing. I big time wanted to know that he’d be good for camp AND that camp would be good for him. Honestly I probably wanted the second one even more. I was stressing about it to God. And like. I wouldn’t write this except that it’s true. I out of the blue just experienced 100% reassurance that Omar would be at Sky Lodge for the summer. Right there, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was was going to say yes. And like, I knew it was from the Holy Spirit. That familiar Her. Burst into tears because like I said, I wasn’t hearing from Her as much as I used to. So to suddenly experience that rush?? I wept happy tears. When I came in for lunch I told Jeremy we could start putting Omar’s name on all the official lists. He was like, “But you haven’t done the interview yet? And didn’t you say he might not even want to be here?” And I was like, “Look. I know he’s gonna say yes. I can’t explain how, but put him on the lists.” Then I went out in the sun and called him up. We talked through several complicated things. It was an articulate conversation between two people who respected each other. (It is very weird to think about how much I low key instantly trusted Omar.) And lol. The end of the conversation was me big smile saying, “So uh, everybody else is getting here on Thursday to get moved in and settled by 5 o’clock. So.” and then he was big smile basically like, “Okay. Yeah. Well. Huh. Yeah I’ll be there.”

And sure enough he was. Well kind of. He showed up late. Everybody else was going through the line for dinner when he called me to say he was here but not sure where to go. I ran out of the dining room and saw his black car pull in. Showed him to park down by Maple. Noticed the John Mayer poster rolled up in his back window so we chatted about our mutual fondness for him on the quick stroll to the Lodge. I remember as dinner was finishing up the Foremen were starting to gather. I was staying on the edge, interested to see the beginnings of all their dynamics. Noticed Omar keeping his distance, but not in an uncomfortable way? Like, he definitely wasn’t exuberant, but he wasn’t closed off either. He was wearing the DAYDREAMER hoodie. He couldn’t hold still? I decided I didn’t need to worry about him and hoped he would pick buddies soon.

Foreman Training. Okay. He was definitely the most interesting person in the room. I mean, besides me of course. He was laid back and whenever he spoke up it was good for everybody. He kept giving out nicknames. Playful. Oh lol, when we’d take breaks, he and Elicia had a game of pool going on which was great because it gave the other girls the chance to watch him flirt. He was noticeably special. I was glad I hired him, because he consistently brought the group’s average up. And we got along well. One night after training had wrapped up the two of us got into a chat about the Kardashians, which lead to Kanye, which lead to President Trump, which lead to talking about Omar being brown. On my walk to my home, I txted him apologizing for maybe expressing too much and not asking enough questions. He told me not to worry and thanked me for the conversation. THERE WERE NO BUTTERFLIES YET. This was my first shot at being a true blue leader and I wasn’t taking that lightly. Being good for everybody working for me was my obsession.

Foreman Campout. Okay. Several things happened here that I want to note.

1. We had a mega controversial meeting about cell phones, during which I suggested we make an official policy that Foremen would leave their phones up in my office unless they needed them for something. It was a kick I was on mostly. A very firm belief that the less the Foremen were on their phones the higher quality their summer would be. There was immediate pushback. I was fending off tiny arguments. Suddenly Omar gave this rallying speech of like, “Come on guys. What the heck? Why are we being babies about this? This could be a really good thing for us!” And that settled it. He had power.

2. The morning after it rained there was a little pack of us huddled up in the gazebo talking about what the storm had been like for us. I asked if anybody had a pen I could borrow and Omar ran to get me one from his backpack. I journaled something like, “Last night I tried to imagine somebody to fall asleep with and couldn’t think of anyone. It’s nice to not be even a little in love with anybody.” AND I MEANT THAT. THERE WERE NO VIBES YET.

3. We all went tubing together and slowly but surely got split up into tinier squads. I was with Marissa and Omar, which was the ideal scenario for me. A lot of stupidity and laughter. Goofballs. There was definitely a point where I was wondering if there was chemistry between them. They drifted further ahead than me towards the end and I thought, “Interesting. We’ll see how that unfolds.” Once everybody was back on land I heard a bit of, “Ooh did you see Omar and Marissa?” It wasn’t a match in my head, but I didn’t think that hard about it.

4. The drive back to Sky Lodge, haha. Omar and I were both on the first bench. Him in the middle and me next to the sliding door. Jeremy was driving and Chris was shotgun so the four of us were chatting away. We passed some fields getting irrigated and I made some offhand comment about the Farmers’ Almanac. Omar suddenly turned to me and was like, “What do you know about that?” I tried to defend myself and he was like, “This sounds like you’re just making stuff up.” WHICH. EXCUSE ME. I WAS NOT. I couldn’t believe it. Him just challenging me right to my face. I was surprised and super secretly thrilled. Do you want me to explain that? Like, I didn’t feel dismissed by it. It was like he wasn’t allowing me to sound stupid and get away with it. Like. More was expected of me? He wasn’t gonna let me be high and mighty as his boss. And that like. Lol. It bothered me, but in a good way.

5. Okay this one was his story that he told me later. Both of us were claiming that there wasn’t any attraction happening yet at the campout, but then he was like “Oh hold up.” He said that on that drive back, most of us in the van were slowly falling asleep. I dozed off and was sort of precariously placed, like there was potential my head might land on his shoulder or my knee would drift into his. He said I woke up a little, noted the situation, and arranged myself as far from him as I could. He said he thought, “Why is she being like that?” And then he thought, “Wait actually why is it bothering me that she’s being like that???” Lol.

6. We got back and dropped everybody off at the staff dorm with announcements for the next day. Edith, my right hand woman, had evening rounds so the two of us did a super quick debrief of the trip standing outside my front door. I mostly remember making the statement that we had to look out for Omar because a lot of the girls seemed interested in him. It meant in a few weeks either they would all turn on each other OR all turn on him. Edith laughed and was like, “Well soon him and Elicia are gonna make out. Then nobody else will want him.” We giggled and I was like, “I just don’t want everybody to decide he’s a flirt when he’s actually just comfortable around women.” And like, haha. I WRITE THIS AS PROOF THAT I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.

Alright so. Lol. Mm, mm. I’m gonna let me hit a hard pause for the night because I’m losing steam. Will come back to this though and soon. It’s a time in my life where I do have the space to get it out and I think I’d like to. Idk if it’ll be healing or useful. I’m not worrying about damage and maybe I should? But. Look. I fell in love with a good one who fell in love with me too. And. I’m not choosing to take my hands off it yet. Still pulled in. Fixated. I keep being afraid that I’m coming off embarrassingly obsessed, panicked that I’m weak and messy. But. Lol. I actually don’t feel like those things at fucking all. I do feel like someone became part of my life and with him I grew in gorgeous ways that I kept wanting to grow in and then I lost that person and now I am having a hard time figuring out some other gorgeous ways I can grow now. And like. I cannot have more of Omar or more from him. Not right now I can’t. But that doesn’t change that I already have a lot of what he did give me. And it’s really mine and I’m not required to like, demolish it to smithereens in order to qualify for moving on.

[guitarsandviolins]

Guitars and Violins II Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Problems Arise

(Disclaimer! I own nothing of Korra!)

Korra and her friends made it to their favorite spot where they would be playing.

The Axis Nightclub.

"We finally made it," said Korra.

"Its finally ready!" Said Tahno, "We're gonna rock their socks off with our awesome sound."

Bolin was clacking his drumsticks.

Marcus was looking at some paperwork walking by.

"So much to do, so much going on with this place," he said.

"Hey guys!" Said Zoe, "We're excited to see you guys jam."

"Hey Marcus, that thing that happened with the beer fight…." Korra started.

"All water under the bridge," said Marcus, "Maybe those guys will be a bit wiser for the wear, but don't worry about it."

"What should we do until the show Marcus?" Asked Varrick, "Any papers we have to sign or what?"

"Oh yes well…. I hope to see you here," said Marcus, "Pardon me for not showing you around, there's a map inside I'm sure you can read it out."

As he left, Korra and the gang went inside.

"Just look at this fucking stage!" Said Tahno.

"Its amazing," said Opal, "The entire area is a lightshow spectacular."

"Guys?" Asked Tahno.

They were all looking at the schedule.

"That's odd," said Opal, "Your band isn't on there."

"What happened?" Asked Korra, "Was there a mess up?"

"I don't know Korra….. but I'm gonna find out," said Varrick.

He went to the room where Marcus was and Korra followed.

He was filling out some paper work.

"Pardon me," said Varrick trying to get his attention.

"I am incredibly busy sir," said Marcus bluntly ignoring them.

"I know and I won't take much of your time, I just had a concern about the schedule," said Varrick, "The schedule for the concert tonight, we noticed that The Tone Benders aren't in the set. I just wanted to ask when they're playing."

"They're not," Marcus said still ignoring him.

"Why not?" Asked Varrick.

"Because they violated the contract rules," said Marcus smoking his cigar.

"What contract rules?" Asked Korra, "We didn't see any contract rules did we guys?"

Marcus threw his bottle of beer at the wall.

"Wrong toots, wrong!" He said frustratedly.

Everybody was surprised in his change of tone.

"Under section 39-a of the contract which all of you signed, it states quite clearly that all performances shall become null and void IF, and you can read it for yourselves in this photostatic copy," said Marcus beginning to read, "'I the undersigned do hereby forfeit all rights to perform with said band herin, and herin, contained et cetera et cetera, fax mentis incendium gloria culture et cetera et cetera, memo bis punitor delicatum!"

He slammed the contract down still angry.

"Its all there, written in black ink, and CLEAR AS FUCKING CRYSTAL!" He shouted pointing at Korra and Asami, "You allowed lesbians to perform with us, and to make matters worse…."

He opened the door pointing at Mako.

"You allowed your bassist to sleep with our vocalist, a bassist from Japan no less!" Marcus said, "Now there's rumors going on about them dating! By committing these acts you violated your contract, so you will not be performing here tonight. You lose, good day sir!"

He went back to his work.

Varrick was indeed shocked.

"You're a cheat… you're a tycoon and a scoundrel!" He said, "THAT'S what you are! How can you do a thing like this, build up a group of young musicians hopes and smash all their dreams to pieces? You're an inhuman TYRANT….."

"I SAID GOOD FUCKING DAY!" Marcus shouted.

"C'mon guys," said Korra, "Let's get out of here."

"I'll get even with that son of a bitch if its the last thing I do," said Varrick, "If Cass wants a nirvana tribute band, she'll get one."

Zoe was listening to the whole thing and called a number.

"Hey, its us," said Zoe, "We've got a bit of a problem."

Korra and the gang were eating at a bar.

"I can't believe this," said Mako, "We don't get to play at the performance because of that guy being an asshole."

"What I wanna know is where in the contract it says that lesbians can't play with the band?" Asked Bolin, "What's that guy's problem with us?"

"Exactly," said Asami.

Varrick was busy calling his friend about the upcoming Nirvana Tribute concert.

"He's real hell bent on getting back at Marcus," said Opal.

Zoe walked in.

"Hey Z," said Mako, "What's shaking?"

"Guys, good news, you can play tonight!" Said Zoe.

"Really?" Asked Korra.

"Yes," said Zoe, "But….. on one condition."

Later, Korra was looking at Marcus.

The two of them were trying to outdo themselves at the guitar battle.

Marcus was looking to the crowd thinking that he won.

Korra however had a trick up her sleeve.

"Wait til you hear this."

(A few hours earlier)

"Come again?" Asked Asami.

"Well, Marcus thinks you have talent, and he even told us so," Zoe repeated herself, "He doesn't wanna say it out loud though because it might destroy his image."

"Then why is he so uptight about her relationship with Asami?" Bolin asked.

"Well to answer that question, its because his old girlfriend cheated on him, and dumped him for a woman."

"Bambi all over again," Tahno said.

"So he wants to have a guitar duel with me?"

"Correct."

"And if we win, we get to stay on the tour."

"Exactly."

Korra thought for a moment.

"Alright I'll do it."

Asami kissed Korra's cheek.

"That's my girl."

Opal groped Korra's breasts.

"For luck."

The others laughed.

Korra tuned her guitar and went to MArcus' room.

"So did you give my offer some thought?"

"I'll do it," Korra said.

He grinned.

"Get ready to meet your maker."

The two of them went to the main stage of the Axis Nightclub.

Marcus grabbed his guitar and plugged up.

"I think its time I gave you a taste of what I'm made of."

He played a guitar solo.

Korra looked at him.

"Oh I didn't realize it was my turn, I thought that was just you tuning up."

Korra countered with a bluesy riff.

"Ok so you can walk, but can you run?"

He played a punk rock riff.

"Sure, but I prefer to fly."

Korra played a solo using her thumb as a pick.

"Just like Jeff Beck…." Blake said.

"She's good," Shelly said.

Marcus countered with a heavy metal solo followed by a dive bomb.

Korra retaliated by playing guitar with her teeth.

Marcus played a lick and Korra copied it in her own style.

The two of them kept going at each other with different licks and riffs trying to outdo each other.

"We gotta get in on this," Blake said.

The band joined in doing a blues shuffle.

Marcus did his thing and then Korra did her own.

Marcus played the guitar behind his back.

Korra did some slide guitar riffs.

Varrick was watching Korra bust the moves.

"You show that dickhole who's boss," he said.

Zhu Li called him on the phone.

Marcus did a trick using a delay pedal.

Korra did the same using reverse delay.

Marcus then did something similar to Pat Metheny and then Frank Gambale.

He then turned around believing he won.

Korra then started a new lick.

She then played something that was similar to Paganini's Caprice no. 5.

Varrick was listening.

"What the devil?"

She then played another Paganini riff.

She merged a few Paganini riffs together to create one incredible guitar solo and then finished it.

The audience clapped for her.

Marcus attempted to play the same thing but kept messing up on a few parts.

He then put his guitar down.

"You're a fucking legend," he said smiling, "You get the first set tonight."

Korra's band cheered and chanted her name.

Zoe smiled.

Tahno took the microphone.

"Ok tell you what, its time you all joined me," he said, "Everybody is gonna keep yourself alive!"

Korra started playing a riff.

Tahno took the first half of the microphone off.

The band started to join in.

Marcus found himself clapping along with everyone else.

Keep Yourself Alive by Queen

Tahno: I was told a million times

Of all the troubles in my way

Mind you grow a little wiser

Little better every day

But if I crossed a million rivers

And I rode a million miles

Then I'd still be where I started

Bread and butter for a smile

Well I sold a million mirrors

In a shop in Alley Way

But I never saw my face

In any window any day

Now they say your folks are telling you

Be a super star

But I tell you just be satisfied

Stay right where you are

Korra and Asami: Keep yourself alive

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: It'll take you all your time and a money

Honey you'll survive

Well I've loved a million women

In a belladonnic haze

And I ate a million dinners

Brought to me on silver trays

Give me everything I need

To feed my body and my soul

Well I'll grow a little bigger

Maybe that can be my goal

I was told a million times

Of all the people in my way

How I had to keep on trying

And get better every day

But if I crossed a million rivers

And I rode a million miles

Then I'd still be where I started

Same as when I started

Korra and Asami: Keep yourself alive

Come on

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: It'll take you all your time and a money

Honey you'll survive

Bolin did a drum solo while Opal recorded it.

Zoe was watching Mako play the whole time.

"This guy is amazing with his bass playing! GO MAKO!"

Marcus laughed.

Someone was watching them and had her eye on Tahno.

Korra stepped on her tone bender and played one of her signature guitar solos.

She then walked out to the stage using a wireless.

"I knew the wireless would do the trick," Asami said.

Korra and Asami: Keep yourself alive

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: It'll take you all your time and a money

To keep me satisfied

Mako: Do you think you're better every day

Tahno: No, I just think I'm two steps nearer to my grave

Korra and Asami: Keep yourself alive

Come on

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: You take your time and take more money

Keep yourself alive

Korra and Asami: Keep yourself alive

Come on

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: All you people keep yourself alive

Korra and Asmai: Keep yourself alive

Come on

Come on

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: It'll take you all your time and a money

To keep me satisfied

Korra and Asami: Keep yourself alive

Keep yourself alive

Tahno: All you people keep yourself alive

Take you all your time and money

Honey you will survive

Keep you satisfied

Keep you satisfied

The band finished and the audience cheered.

"Looks like we're back in business," Korra said.

[hollandroos]

Blow a Kiss, Fire a Gun | Pt.9

Teaser Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 (If the links don’t worth then check out the series link in my bio!)

TOM HOLLAND MOBSTER AU

Summary: You’re arranged to married Tom Holland, Londons most feared mobster, but it’s never easy. He doesn’t seem to want you and you don’t want anything to do with him.

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: Light mentions of sexual assault and abuse

Huge thanks to @cosmetologynerd and @thewiseandfree for the help with this part!!

When Tom had told you that you had to head out to run some errands with him for the day, You hadn’t expected any less then the black, tinted car was sitting ready outside his place. You’d already expected him to have fancy cars and you’d gotten a glimpse at that the night he took you to one of his events.

Tom Holland was always going above and beyond, throwing around dollar bills where he could.

But after hours of running between shops, waiting in the car and trying to come up with small talk that didn’t involve flirting or put-downs you were hungry and possibly dehydrated. You were at that stage of hunger where anything sounded good as long as it was edible and Tom hadn’t been helping in that situation.

You were starting to feel like a child from the amount of ‘Can we go home now?’ and ‘Can you get me food?’s that were starting to fall from your lips and while Tom found it humorous the first few times, he was now sitting beside you with a firm glare.

“Can we grab some lunch? I’m hungry” You asked once again, staring longingly at the small cafe across from the car. You’d even be satisfied with a little caffeine to get you through, but Tom seemed to be taking his pleasure from watching you suffer in the passenger seat.

“I’ll get Mark to cook you something when we get back” Mark was his chef, someone that a twenty-two-year-old relied on for all of his meals. “It’s not safe”

Of course, you’d been on edge since the note arrived, but refusing to let that get you down you were hiding your fear, keeping it deep down inside where you refused to believe it even existed. Tom was more on edge then you were, watching your every move as well as every step his men took.

“You’ve said that five times now.” You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, Tom. When will it ever be safe?”

“Exactly, so until whoever is threatening you is dead or restrained we’re not going out into the open like that” He folded his arms, tugging a pair of black sunglasses on and you couldn’t help but notice how his muscles tensed beneath his white shirt. “I’m not paranoid, sweetheart, just looking out for you”

“That surely does sound like something a paranoid person would say” You joke.

“I’m not paranoid, I’m careful. That’s exactly how I got where I am today.” He grips the steering wheel, getting ready to flick the car into drive.

“You know what? That’s okay, you don’t have to but I’m sure as heck going in”

“With what money?” He smirked, thinking he was sly before you flash him a note.

“The money I found stashed in your glove department when you ran into the Tailors” With that you climbed out of the expensive vehicle, shutting the door and giving Tom a tight wave.

You knew what you were doing, without a single doubt you knew that Tom was going to follow you. You were just shocked that he hadn’t locked the door or done more to stop you when you reached for the handle.

Of course he did exactly as you’d suspected, jumping straight out of the car the moment you reached the road and was beside you in seconds. You smirked and began crossing, Tom kept one step ahead of you the whole time, watching wildly to make sure any cars came out of nowhere, knocking the two of you out or suddenly pulled out a gun.

The cafe was adorable on the outside, definitely not Toms style judging by the array of colourful flowers outside and the small groan that escaped his lips when you walked inside, a bell going off above your heads.

“You’re such a troublemaker” He whined, eyeing the place beneath his place sunglasses which you hastily pulled off.

“I try” You tuck his glasses into your pockets. “You order, I’ll find us a seat”

The cafe was practically empty, spare for two staff and finding a seat was easy. You marvelled at all of the tables, each equipped with a small salt and pepper shaker as well as a vase of flowers. The environment was beautiful and it definitely felt nice to be somewhere different than the Hollands large dining hall for a meal.

You loved Toms’ house, despite how much you didn’t like living there in the environment that was still new to you after weeks there. But his house was simply fancy, over the top and sometimes you were afraid that if you so much as picked something up it’d slip right out of your fingers and you’d be left with a bill bigger than your old monthly allowance. It felt nice to be in an environment that once again, you were used to.

Tom sat down minutes later, crossing one leg over the other as he eyed the place. “You know I could’ve had Mark make us something nicer than everything in that cabinet combined”

You choose to ignore his remark, taking his phone right out of his hand and slipping onto your side of the table.

“So, Thomas. I’m guessing that you know an awful lot about me” It was true, Tom had done his research. He’d look at whatever papers he could get his hands on but you on the other hand, you knew nothing about him. Tom was both the biggest mafia boss in London, and a ghost. “So what is there to know about you?”

“I don’t like giving out information about myself, darling”

“What? Not even to your wife?” Your playfulness is obvious, bouncing right off of you and onto Tom who’s protective, worryful demeanour seemed to fade in moments.

“Fine. My full name is Thomas Stanley Holland, I’m twenty tw-”

You interrupted. “No no no! Not the obvious stuff, the deeper stuff. Why are you the way you are, what happened in your childhood type of thing”

Tom played with a small sugar packet. Wondering what information to disclose. “Before this, I enjoyed acting, My dream was to be an actor and I was even in my junior school play”

“What happened?” You questioned.

“The twins came along and it became a competition, you know? Who would take over when my father decided to retire. I wanted the job more than anything so to my brothers disappointed, I grew up. Dropped my dream of being an actor and focused on being the right man for the job.”

It wasn’t what you were expecting, but you were definitely shocked that he’d told you something like that.

“Turns out I’m a natural at bossing people around and inflicting pain.”

Choosing to lighten up the situation, you say the first thing that comes to mind. “Do you have any photos from that performance? I’m sure you looked amazing in whatever costume they dressed you up in”

Tom laughed, he genuinely laughed. “I’m sure my mother would have a few. We did Billy Elliot, I got the leading role.”

“Wait you were that good?! My god, I’ve got myself a star”

The waitress walked over to the two of you, gently placing your drinks down before flicking Tom a small smile, to which he didn’t return. You smiled a thank you despite her small attempt at gaining Tom’s attention.

“I’m going to use the bathroom, I’ll be back in a moment” You get up out of your seat, the wood scraping against the floor.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He responds.

“Yes, Tom, i’ll be fine” You spoke to him a little softer than usual, not in your usual taunting way.

You got up and headed away in the opposite direction while Tom tapped his fingers against the table, scrolling through his phone until you got back. He had a bad feeling, a deep, nerve-wrenching feeling in the pit of his gut. Something was telling him that something was going to happen to one of you but he continued to push it to the side.

That was until he choose to look out the window, seeing two men that in his books, looked suspicious. With their caps pulled over their faces, phones in hand and by the way that they’d been pacing back and forth for the last few minutes. To anyone else, it would’ve looked near normal but to Tom, those were all signs of something bad. He was aware of what going undercover consisted of.

He only got out of his seat abruptly, the table wobbling because of the impact when they began walking over to the exact cafe he was sitting in. With one last glimpse, a hand on the gun in his back pocket and phone in hand he ran out to the bathroom, thanking the lord that it was a unisex bathroom.

You were standing at the sink when he stepped in, the door practically slamming against the wall as he forcefully threw it open and you jumped, almost screaming if it wasn’t for his hand that made its way over your mouth.

A million questions were running through Toms' head, but he was merely focused on two. How did they find the two of you? But more importantly, who were they working for?

“What the fuck!” You curse shoving his hand away, struggling to wiggle out of his arms. “Are you fucking kidnapping me or something?”

“Shhh, angel, I need you to keep quiet” Tom placed his hand back over your mouth, only tighter this time knowing that you were about to put up a fight but he had little time to explain. His other set of fingers wrapped tightly around his gun and the shock of the situation was still setting in.

He dragged you into the nearest stall and shut the door carefully, making sure not to flick the lock so it wouldn’t look occupied. One second you were washing your hands at the sinks, humming a soft tune and the next you were pressed up against the cold, tile wall.

Your eyes widened when you realised what was most likely happening, hands tightly gripping his wrist as you breathed in deeply through your nose, struggling to get the oxygen to your lungs. You couldn’t speak, but you did look up at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. You were sure you looked unkempt but Tom didn’t think so, too focused on what he’d seen outside of the bathroom.

Two figures wearing all black heads thrown into dirty old caps despite the cold outside. He was sure they held weapons, more than the one small weapon that was currently in his hand.

“I need you to be quiet, okay? I think we’ve been compromised” His voice was barely louder than a harsh whisper and despite your small protests that sounded muffled underneath his hand, it was completely silent, Tom could practically hear your heartbeat and in fact-, if he slowed his breathing enough he could feel it.

Slowly, he removed his hand, keeping a firm grasp on his gun and placing a finger to his lips indicating for you to stay silent, which of course, you didn’t do.

“T-tom, what’s actually happening, are we okay?” your voice was shaky, only slightly louder then what his had been and you cursed this bathroom for being the first restaurant bathroom you’d ever used that hadn’t had music.

You understood that someone that was after one of you was probably here but who? And what did they want?

“We’ll be okay, but I need you to do what I say” for only the second time, maybe you were okay with doing what he told you too. From his hasty actions and current state, you were aware that maybe it wasn’t the best time to disobey and cause a scene.

Tom whipped his phone out, flicking a quick message to someone all the while not taking a single step back, the two of you stayed practically chest to chest. You were enclosed and the stall stunk but now wasn’t the time to complain.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he was panicked too. Beneath his hard exterior Tom had a million thoughts running through his head and the last thing he wanted was for one of those men to break in and hurt one of you, so carefully he pushed you behind him, your hands gripping his shirt and his spare hand gently drew circles on the skin that was peaking through your shirt.

That was when the door opened slowly, a loud creak made your breathing halt in your throat and Tom swallow, his hand gripped your waist now keeping you behind him and while part of you believed and hoped that it was simply just a girl coming into use the restroom, the other part of you knew that whoever it was was who Tom was avoiding.

“Are you sure they were here? Seems like a dead end to me”

The man's voice was gruff and husky, obviously a strong smoker and you knew that there were at least two men. Staying completely still, you focused on keeping your breathing under control

“I was sure but… he must’ve been wrong” The other snarled, his heavy footsteps echoing against the tile floor.

The first man groaned. “I can’t wait to get my hands on her, mate. Holland got lucky”

“Boss decides what we do with her, personally I wanna see her rot”

“Yeah but think about all the other things she’d be useful for, can’t let all of that go to waste” He chuckled, “God knows Holland is, that man could do anything with her but he’s just letting her walk around like a damn ornament.”

Tom was seeing red and If there wasn’t a possibility of them being more armed then he was, he would’ve busted the door down and smacked both of their heads in with only the butt of his gun.

Say a name, someone say a name.

“We’ll each get our turn, I’ll just be using mine to do some damage, make my mark.”

By now it was obvious they were talking about you, but it was almost as if they were talking about a fucking doll, passing you around like a toy for their own enjoyment and the thought made both you and Tom sick to your stomachs.

Toms grip noticeably tightened on the gun and you felt your throat closing up, tears filling your eyes as you gripped Toms shirt harshly, a sob threatening to escape your lips but just as it was mere seconds away from falling, Tom spun you around in his arms, your face pulled into his chest as the tears started falling.

It was hard hearing people threatening your life when you were in the same room, listening to every word and not being able to do anything about it. Hearing what they wanted and could do sent a shiver down your spine and set your senses on high alert.

The last thing Tom wanted right now was for you to make any noise so that was the only thing he could do, pull you into his chest and comfort you, something he supposed he wasn’t all too good at. All noise was muffled into his shirt, his free hand now supporting your neck as you shook in his arms, the two men continued chatting back and forth, unaware that their target was mere metres away.

He pressed a light kiss to your forehead and you choose to try focusing on his heartbeat instead of the bickering outside the door. So counting each beat, you only flinched when the footsteps began continued outside the door as you assumed the men paced back and forth. You were sure your makeup was getting all over his white shirt, black mascara stains would already be staining the thin material, would he care? Probably not.

This was a whole other side to Tom, sure you’d seen him flirting, angry, annoyed and even timid but this was protective, caring.

"I'm just saying. You've seen her lounging out by the pool, or wandering around in her little shorts. Why let a fine piece of ass like that go to waste?" Tom was shaking like mad, his vision blurred and he pictured shooting a bullet between the man's eyes right then and there. "Dude that's his wife-, we may not answer to him anymore but you can't just-, the Boss just wants to end her life, make him weak, you know? It’s not our place to just-, to do anything too serious.” "I can say whatever I damn well please. And what pleases me, is getting the claim that bitch as mine before we do her in." He chuckled darkly. "Bet ya the boss would love to torment Holland by making him watch. He’s still keeping up that hard ass act but he’s whipped." Tom's fist curled around his gun, his teeth bared and death the only thing on his mind. How dare they speak of you in such a way- as though you were an object and not a human.

He made a move to open the stall, gently pushing you away but only stopped at your whispers, "Tom, no, no. We have to stay here-"

You weren’t even shaking with fear anymore, no you were shaking with anger, and yeah, okay-, maybe a little fear. More so disgust.

Tom faced you, his eyes full of vengeance. "You can't just expect me to let them get away with this!" He'd whisper back at you, his ears still listening to the men. You moved closer to him, touching his face gently and tightening your grip on his hand with the other. "No, and they won't get away with it." "Then let me-" You kissed him softly, a change for the two of you. Until now, every exchange had been full of heat and tension and dislike. But this, this was different. You felt yourself smile softly as you kissed him, pulling away to say, "we need to know who their boss is before we do anything. And then you’ll hand me the gun to shoot the bastards myself."

Tom had practised keeping his anger in for years, it was one thing he’d learnt early on from his father. While being a mafia boss involved using a lot of violence, it also involved patients.

The two of you stayed there for a few minutes, Tom refusing to lower his gun despite his arm beginning to ache and you listening to his heartbeat over the men's talking.

That was until the door burst open again and you flinched, but this time it was Harrison that ran in with a few of Toms other men. Neither of you knew that though, so you placed a hand over your mouth, holding there firmly until Harrison spoke up. Toms gun raised once again.

The talking stopped, both men silencing.

“Put your guns down, we will take you down right here if we have to”

Harrisons firm voice made you remove your hand, letting out a sigh of relief as your hand tightened on Toms shirt. He seemed relieved too but you were worried for the waitress, what happened when six men ran in with guns?

The men looked up, eyes widening as they clench their teeth at Toms right-hand man. Both knowing they were caught in the act.

“C’mon mate, we’re just following orders here” Harrisons face hardened when they tried reasoning with him, he wasn’t having any of it. The first man continued, opening his mouth to say more but stopped when Harrison only stepped forward, the gun getting closer, and closer to his bare flesh.

If you and Tom were able to see what was happening right now, you would’ve both been begging him to pull the trigger. Enjoying every small second that passed after the explosive ‘bang!’

“Guns down, come with us” Haz commanded. With a smirk, they did as they were told, fearful about the fact that there were currently at least five guns pointed at them but trying to cover it up with confidence. Something Tom happened to do too. “You’ve lost.” Haz announced.

You listened on, smiling up at Tom when you heard them drop their guns. “I take back being the one to kill them but I’m sure you’re still up for the job”

“I wouldn’t dream of turning that offer down” He grinned wickedly, pearly whites showing. Tom grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and ran a thumb over knuckles, of which you didn’t object too.

“Let’s show these men what happens when they talk down on my girl, shall we?”

Pt.10

Tags: @draqcnheartstrinq @hollanderheart  @peters-vlogs @no-aaaahhhh @underoosie @cosmetologynerd @holland-ish @spidey-pal @call-me-wisegirl @khai-day-the-13th @leni-lion-luke-larb-logic  @panicatttckiss @marriedtopeterparker @stormyparker @mysticsthinking @elyshugh @spider-mendes @girl-in-the-chair @sort-of-pretty-in-pink @bloom003-blog @nextkaratekid @saracastickid @prof-scribbles @holyrose96 @riverdalemami @strangerthantheflash @sams-hollands @tiau-man @tiny-friggin-human @thollandtrash @amidblogger @tiau-man @zseonlydavinci @therealme13posts @zseonlydavinci @httpmcrvel @acciorinn @shakespeare-and-shenanigans @satellitesweetpea @maddie-leighhh @spideymanss @stephie-senpai @sherizaraiyah @tomsh0lland @spidey-pal @casualprincess77 @starlightfound @fandom-feathers @spidergirlwanab @smileyhollander @notthepersonyouwerelookingfor @tomhollandsworld @necromancer-inwell @doloreatroce @hottrashformarvel @fragcc @woosh-pear @spider-mendes @softhollandhoe @ill-be-your-temporary-fix @thegirlwiththestories @elyshugh @stilinski-parker @misscookie-monster16 @amidblogger @lovelynerdytraveler @tmrhollandkay @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @thedoctor-and-her-fallenangles @peachesnmei  @ocaptainmycaptainrogers @fuckmerunningtomholland @chingonaconcha @johannaapagan @tomhollandsmouthfr0g @cielofiorito @crazy-bout-books @my-peter-parker @thehollandfam @its-peter-fucking-parker @lostnliterature @sarcasticsara04 @a-bit-of-contained-galaxies @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @micki-smiles @unreasonablyexcited @kasylikescookies

BAK: @aussie-mantle @highladyjel @revivalbenito @spider-mendes @iris1697 @theamuz @zseonlydavinci @bridiereads @sophie2003003 @parkeret @baby-baker @marvelgladers @dreamsofbeingsomeoneelse @sighaislin @marvel-zip @oreosrockover18 @whystopkeepon@barnsism @trashqueenbitch @gab-spidey @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @peterparkerdeservesbetter @ambrosmar @calmdownyall @xxxxdelenaxxxx @deadlyaffairs @stop-wonder-think @butcanyoujustimagine @leni-lion-luke-larb-logic @highladyjel @study-at-the-disco @r-i-d-g-e-s @giuliavxox @dreams-in-different-colours @spideynblackcat  @vividcelestia @okayypotato @unknxwn-intrxvert @highkeymood @tra2embrel shqueenbitch @imahuricane @thefanbasewhore @lyssilinn @thebittygirl @spn-worm @theamuz @hollandsmuse @theromanmockingbird @revivalbenito @asfaraslifegets @avahodge @eternallovers65 @rosecoloredshawn @spoofagoofonyou @soldmysoultofandomshelp @wintersoldierbaby @lizzie-143 @heavydartysoul @noakantor14 @themegatron1999 @galcxykisscd @majestichoechlin @yellow--inlove  @fragcc @chasingsuperheroes @petersunderroos @letrashailen @eclecticbooktaster @hiccups-are-better @bubbles1642  @lydiasobrien @qtest-trash @carrotsunshine @ccold-as-ice @friedwhisperstheorist @moopai @naria-hime @dafnouche @ashram12 @laucontrerasv  @anytimebitches  @teenage-book-lover @faangirl101 @bored-green @curlshawnholland @tryn25 @xx-fandom-potato-xx @lowkeyspideyyy @fandomnerdsarecool  @fvckjamesbarnes @taylorjrs13 @cthoodaf @modern-day-citrus-cowboy @hellodarknessmysweetfriend  @hailhydrabarnes @overdramatic-teen @spideyboiiiiiiii @baileyxrudesalx @briefzipperapricotbagel @parker-underoos @officialchainreaction @aubreylovesthegames @shipitliketheussenterprise @your-1up-girl @peterparkerstolemyheart @dej-okay @0hanx @all-my-friends-are-german @captain-loki-xavier @teenwolfsdream @hazydespair @rosecoloredyelyah @shipitliketheussenterprise @death-gives-free-hugs @justanotherfangurlz @paigeypooo @rose4958 @tommyswolves @spideyboiiiiiiii @idkanymore-lol @space-starz @its-justmaya @fuckmerunningtomholland @shoytai @accio-chosen-one @beccababy2003 @thomaslefteyebrow @softhollandhoe @so-many-freaking-ships @triedstudent @roses-hxlland @fortheloveofdougnuts @penguinsparker @minishala @dej-okay @thestoriofmylife @maakeme-up @ofmusicandbooks @angiegami @aylone @fangirly27 @ginapeanutbutterbean @softpetcrparker @loveablesocio @kneelbitches-ftloki @cutehollands @whymarvelwhyy @spcesebstn @danieeeeeeereyy @livingincompletesilence @whovian1077 @austins-baby-girl1233 @wirth-jackshit @verypolicecollector-843ec253 @milkywayheartcupcake @simple-slytherin-artist @yikies15 @littleladdty @truthfulchange @laucontrerasv @stuck-in-wonderland @tswiftownsme @antaraxy @live-in-the-now10 @yikies15 @theholyholland @obsessed-fandoms @1life-4hope @delusionsofnostalgia @minipeach101 @shilohrudd98 @sterolinelover13 @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @lorewin @castellandiangelo @the-crime-fighting-spider @justagirlwho-believes13 @therealwatermelon @wrandi55 @hither-to-undreamt-of @emaywhyayy @magical-fandoms @stuckonswan @etudaire @magical-fandoms @emi-holland28 @unreasonablyexcited  @thumper-darling @lill-ana  @mmeyers915 @maddieisdreaming @avengersgirllorianna @natasha-hoemanoff @take-a-look-the-invisible-girl @teamfreewillatefobatthedisco @xgreenpandax @gladerofcabin4  @loveyourmockingbird @rinnysblog @thenameisdani @capamericaevans @xoxohollands @emily-antognoli @redickystuff @yagirlspiderman @canyounotkaia @xstarbae @fvck-this-shiit

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE COURAGE OF DETAILS

They will have all the extra motivation that comes from being freed from the constraints of research. So far, we've reduced the problem from the direction of the arts, you're less likely to depend on this sort of calming lie is that we grow up thinking horrible things are normal. You could start users with a seed filter, but ultimately each user should have his own per-word probabilities based on the pie fallacy is stated explicitly:.1 Combine that with Pirsig and you get: Live in the future is to focus extra attention on specific parts of the email. Most hackers' first instinct is to try to think of startup ideas. As subjects got softer, the lies got more frequent. But if you yourself don't have good taste, how are you going to recognize a good designer? And the reason you should avoid these things is that you are already working as hard as you can in so many print publications—which is one of the first things he'll ask is, how much more.2 Let me repeat that recipe: finding the problem intolerable and feeling it must be very hard. In fact, faces seem to have made that deal, though perhaps it has to be able to filter them. I do, I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new dialect of Lisp.3

In restoring your old car you have made yourself richer. At YC we call ideas that grow naturally out of the corner of his mouth is very disconcerting. This isn't quite true. Competitors commonly find ways to work around a patent.4 If economic inequality should be decreased. The source of the problem it fixes.5 The same is true in the arts, but most hackers are very competitive.

There is no such thing as better, it doesn't make any difference what Larry Page's net worth is compared to yours. Treat a startup as an optimization problem will help you avoid another pitfall that VCs worry about, and rightly—taking a long time it was most of making things easier, but now that the things we build are so complicated, there's another rapidly growing subset: making things easier. Windows itself.6 But really it doesn't matter much which you use. Why do you keep emails around after you've read them? The problem is not, in itself, what makes startups kick butt, but rather that small groups can be select. Marie Curie was on it because she was a woman, but as the corpus grows such tuning will happen automatically anyway.7 What are they to do? You pick the companies you want to get rich, and this trend has decades left to run. Right?

How do you tell whether something is the germ of a giant company. While the best way to discover startup ideas is to work with him on something. Kids, almost by definition, lack self-control.8 But it's not just fastidiousness that makes good hackers avoid nasty little problems. A viable startup might only have ten employees, which puts you within a factor of two? But I also think that the more different it gets.9 I've learned, to some degree, to judge technology by its cover. When you negotiate terms with a startup idea in one month, what if they'd chosen a month before the Altair appeared? What would you think of a financial advisor who put all his client's assets into one volatile stock? But that world ended a few years?

But you can't trust your opinions in the same way about the operating system. Notice all this time I've been talking about the limit case: the case where you not only have zero leisure time but indeed work so hard that you endanger your health.10 The unsexy filter is to ask yourself whether in your previous job you ever found yourself saying Why doesn't someone make x?11 Programs are very complex and, at least, by eliminating the drag of the pointy-haired middle manager who would be your boss in a big company: the pay's low but you spend most of your time working on new stuff. I wouldn't try to defend the actual numbers. Except in a few cases to buy a certain stock. Design by committee is a synonym for bad design. The Matrix have such resonance. Arguably pastoralism transformed a luxury into a commodity. Being at the leading edge of some rapidly changing field, there will be things that are false, and I'm going to talk about it to have anything more useful to say.12

Great programmers are sometimes said to be indifferent to money.13 Of all the approaches to fighting spam, from software to laws, I believe Bayesian filtering will be the single most effective. Don't spend much time worrying about the details of deal terms, especially when you first start angel investing. The part of angel investing that the decisions are hard. When I protested that the teacher had said the opposite, my father replied that the guy had no idea what he was talking about—that he was on the list because he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea to have a mind that's prepared in the right startups is for investors.14 We were all lied to as kids, and some of the growth in economic inequality we've seen since then has been due to bad behavior of various kinds, there has been a qualitative change in the world. A job means doing something people want.

The way to kill it is to be young. This way you might be able to make something useful.15 I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be anything waiting for it. It was not till we were in our twenties that the truth came out: my sister, then about three, had accidentally stepped on the cat and broken its back. Instead of trading violins directly for potatoes, you trade violins for, say, approach offers as in this approach offers having a probability of more than. The reason our hypothetical jaded 10 year old leaning against a lamppost with a cigarette hanging out of the founders' own experiences organic startup ideas—by spending time learning about the easy part. If anyone wants to take on this kind of project. The cartoon strip Dilbert has a lot of other people's. Pay particular attention to things that chafe you. A company big enough to be fairly conservative, and within the company the people in the future, not now.16 So the guys you end up with special offers and valuable offers having probabilities of.

Notes

Down rounds are at selling it. Living on instant ramen would be improper to name names, while simultaneously implying that lies believed for a patent is conveniently just longer than the 50 minutes they may end up reproducing some of these groups, which is the odds are slightly worse.

Something similar has been happening for a reason.

Most were wrong, but investors can get done before that.

Give the founders.

It was harder for Darwin's contemporaries to grasp this than we can teach startups a lot more frightening in those days, then they're not ready to invest, it is still what seemed to us.

It was harder for you? Exercise for the talk to a car dealer.

Some are merely ugly ducklings in the production of high school kids at least bet money on convertible notes often have valuation caps, a market price if they did that in practice signalling hasn't been much of The New Industrial State to trying to focus on their utility function for money. So it may not be if Steve hadn't come back. They therefore think what they meant. So what ends up happening is that so many trade publications nominally have a single cause.

The existence of people we need to.

Different sections of the world as a definition of property without affecting and probably also the fashion leaders. Later stage investors won't invest.

We could have used another algorithm and everything I write out loud at least for those interested in each type of mail, I advised avoiding Javascript. One of the corpora.

After reading a draft of this essay, I have a standard piece of casuistry for this situation: that startups usually lose money at first had two parts: the source of food. Exercise for the talk to an adult. Throw in the King James Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and many of the flock, or want tenure, avoid casual conversations with other people's.

If not, and B doesn't, that's not relevant to an investor derives mostly from the example of a type of thing. None at all. Which OS? You can build things for programmers, the work of selection.

So far, I suspect five hundred would be worth trying to capture the service revenue as well, but this sort of Gresham's Law of conversations. But an associate is not pagerank commercialized. A small, fast browser that was really only useful for one user.

It might also be good employees either. There is nothing more unconvincing, for example, would not be surprised if VCs' tendency to push founders to try to be staying at a particular valuation, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been Boylston Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard Business School at the mercy of investors want to stay in a limited way, without becoming a police state. But in most competitive sports, the computer hardware and software companies constrained in a place to exchange views. No Logo, Naomi Klein says that a company that could be mistaken, and—and probably also a second factor: startup founders are in a series.

Together these were the case of the growth in wealth, and there didn't seem to have too few customers even if the president faced unscripted questions by giving a press conference. This probably undervalues the company than you expect.

Dropbox wasn't rejected by all the best startups, the higher the walls become.

Thanks to Brad Templeton, Trevor Blackwell, Fred Wilson, the friends I promised anonymity to, Robert Morris, and Jessica Livingston for smelling so good.