#when the episode started I was like oh those sails are gonna be hit by space junk and rip but no ‘‘twas those engines

[chirpsythismorning]

I feel like a big part of the reason Anti Bylers are so aggressive is because this is the first time in mainstream media where there's a chance that the main couple of the show may end up being mlm.

Not only is there a likelihood that the main couple will be gay, it will come after years of these fans assuming that the cliche, safe straight ship was going to sail from start to finish.

If you look at the "predictions" these individuals have for season 5, which honestly have less to do with narrative direction and more to do with what they want, you'll always catch a certain undertone to what they're saying:

"The heterosexual, white male audience is the default for media. We will allow the wlw ship, so long as it has limited screen time. We will accept Will surviving, and even allow him to have an acceptance arc. But you will not receive queer rep at the expense of a ship that we are nostalgic for. The straight male audience is the one that matters, and we will be represented by the main couple in the show."

My favorite is when they’re asked what they hope for Mike and El in s5, only to list off qualities of Mike and Will’s dynamic. I legit saw someone say that they hoped they finally took the time to talk through their problems (oh so you’re admitting they never do..) and that we’ll actually get to see them be a team…

Like, do you hear yourselves?

I would actually like to read off their play by play of how they imagine s5 going down. Not just their wishes but like what they literally imagine happening over the course of the season, episode by episode.

And I’m talking the confident milkvans ones that are like super hostile about it. I wanna see what they hypothesize will happen in early s5 related to Mike and El… I don’t think I could keep it together if it is anything along the lines of them instantly making up and being happy for the rest of the season… 😳🤣

They just don’t realize how dumb that sounds.

S4 created conflict and hasn’t settled it. It was considered the beginning of the end, meaning those parts are going to fit perfectly together. If Mike and El were lacking romantically more than ever before in s4, don’t expect that to change much…

And gentle reminder that rewatch value is everything. If milkvans have to skip 3 eps in s1 bc they’re not together or fighting, skip all of s2 bc they’re separated, skip most of s3 bc they broke up in the second episode, skip most of s4 bc they separated in the third episode…. What does that fucking tell you?? They are not being prioritized for rewatch value, that’s what. Whereas byler is. (Bylers also are capable of watching milkvan scenes religiously… I can’t say the same about milkvans being capable of handling more than one second of rewatching a byler scene. And it’s bc they know if they watch it the mental gymnastics they gotta go through to convince themselves nothing romantic is going on is near impossible…)

Byler endgame is going to make the rewatch for the entire series hit, while milkvans, even with a hypothetical endgame would probably watch s1 and s5 and say the rest doesn’t matter. Do they think that’s how the show is supposed to be watched?

With one season left, they should have been hoping that monologue wasn’t in s4, but instead s5. Bc now how can those two one up that? They simply can’t. It was put there to show that they’ll never progress beyond this point. Nothing will ever top it. This is as good as it gets and yet, they still lost. What should that tell you?

What are they gonna just repeat that monologue in s5, but have mike say it 20x and THIS TIME it works?? Yay? Like there’s literally nothing satisfying about that in the least.

Can’t say I wish bad for ppl that simply like Mike and El and are bummed that they’re starting to lose hope. That as a basic idea is like whatever. I don’t like seeing ppl sad. Even if I told off a milkvan directly, seeing them like feeling depressed afterwards, does make me feel bad.

But when it comes to the hostile ones, people literally resorting to harassing directly with complete strangers unprompted and threatening to dox, over people merely theorizing? Like?? Was it ever that serious?

If we’re so delusional and we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment, why not wait to say I told you so when it’s all said and done, if you’re so sure? Why dedicate so much of your time trying to discourage people on the other side? Unless it somehow qualms doubts you have?…

What makes this whole situation such bullshit, is that if this were a queerbait situation, you still shouldn’t be out here being hurtful like literally spouting off how you can’t wait for people to experience getting queerbaited? Like it’s fucking weird? The prominence of queerbaiting is literally referring to show runners taking advantage of fans, making them think it’ll happen, even encouraging it, and then ripping it away, usually ending in a bury your gays situation. That is the norm in the industry and it’s only now within the last few years starting to change in mainstream.

The hypocrisy of it all, is that they think we should just accept what they believe is the only possibility, queer-bait. But you know if the roles were reversed, which they inevitably will be when s5 drops, they’re going to be playing the victim, saying nonsense like if queerbaiting is bad then so is straightbating!! and it’s just going to be so out of touch and pathetic.

It’s not the same. Whatsoever. And the fact that they can’t see that, that one result is lazy writing and one is epic subversion, and are literally making a mockery out of the situation, convinced they’re right bc they have history on their side and gays should just be used to never getting their way and THATS okay to them?

Like it’s almost painful to watch. Especially knowing the 180 they’re gonna pull when they end up in the situation they convinced themselves we were gonna be in.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

New Solar Opposites Episode #5: “The Kids Get Taken” (by @avaveevo)

It starts with Korvo and Terry sleeping until Lili starts crying

Korvo: *moans* Oh there there Lili. Daddy is here. *hops out of bed*

Korvo walks up to Lili's crib and picks her up

Korvo: Shh… shh

Then, Korvo starts singing a lullaby to Lili.

[KORVO]

Little sproutling, you are safe.

There is no to be afraid.

I am here right here in the night.

Don’t fear because I am here.

Little sproutling, it’s okay.

I will never go sailing away from you…

Lili coos and falls asleep

Korvo: Oh my sweet little sprout… *kisses Lili on the forehead and puts her back in her crib*

Terry: *yawns* I really love that lullaby you sang to our baby.

Korvo: Well, Janiz used to sing it to me when I couldn't sleep. I find it calming.

Terry: Aw, that was when you were sproutling too huh? Aw, lil baby Korvy…

Korvo blushes as he smiles

Korvo: Oh Terry…

Terry pulls Korvo into a kiss

Terry: Come here!

The two husbands kiss as they moan lovingly. Terry unbuttons Korvo's nightgown

Korvo: *giggles in infatuation* Terry…

Terry: Wanna feel beautiful?

Korvo: Oh yes… take me away!

Terry pins Korvo on the bed as they kiss

Korvo: Oh Terry… oh… *moans lovingly*

Terry: Get ready! *turns Korvo over* I saw this on Starz.

Korvo: *cries out lovingly* What the fuck… *moans lovingly*

The next morning, Evil Terry is sharpening his knife

Evil Terry: *sighs* Much better. Wonder how other me and those kids are doing?

Then, Korvo walk out of the kitchen while carrying Lili in a baby hangar, to find Terry and the kids painting another mural on the ceiling, but this time Korvo is amazed. *like the Gargoyle Ray Episode*

Korvo: Terry, are you painting another mural again?

Terry: Yeah. I know you're mad but-

Korvo: Oh no. I think it’s actually very creative and-

Jesse: *gets red paint splatted in her face by Yumyulack* Hey! Yumyulack! You got fucking paint in my face!

Yumyulack: *sprays red paint out with a paint gun* Choke on this Jesse!

Then, Sonya sprays aquamarine paint on Yumyulack who yelps.

Yumyulack: *screams in rage* Sonya! You little bitch! I’m gonna kill you!

Sonya: *sprays on Yumyulack; playfully* Make me!

Sonya accidently hits Korvo.

Korvo: Whoa! *smiling* you really got me there honey.

Sonya: Oops. Sorry Korvo.

Janiz and Kimber comes in and shock by the mess the kids are making as Terry join in on the paint fight.

Janiz: Oh my goodness. What a mess.

The family stops fighting.

Terry: Sorry. We were just having a paint fight.

Kimber laughs

Korvo: *chuckles* Okay, now you made me brought at the big guns for this art fight. *brings out the gargoyle ray* bring it on you motherfuckers!

Terry: *playfully* Bring it on, you beautiful smartass!

Janiz gasps.

Janiz: Wait wait! This is wrong… *gets out a mega paint gun* Ain’t fun without a huge amount of paint!

Yumyulack: Oh yeah!

The family starting playfully art fighting again as Korvo began have fun while holding Lili carefully. However, some of the blast of the gargoyle ray starts hitting at the house of the Solars’ mean-spirit neighbor Colleen.

Korvo: Oh shit.

Despite this, the family resume doing paint fighting again. The scene cuts to Colleen screaming in rage.

Colleen: Ugh! Not again! These neighbors are driving me crazy! Now they’re turning everything into gargoyles! The dog, now a gargoyle! The Mona Lisa, gargoyle! The phone, Gargoyle! That does it! I am calling Child Protective Services!

A few hours later, the family is exhausted

Korvo: Man, that was sweet-ass paint fight. I even love the mural you made. What is this time?

Terry: Mona Pupa.

Jesse giggles. The family look up at the mural of Pupa as Mona Lisa. Korvo sighs lovingly at Terry as he began to feel grateful into having Terry in his life.

Korvo: Terry-bear?

Terry: Yes?

Korvo: I love you so much...

Terry: *smiling* I love you too Korvy…

Korvo and Terry are about to kiss but... then, the family heard on a knock on the door, which caused the Solars to turn into their human forms. Human Kimber opens the door.

Human Kimber: Yes?

Suddenly, Child Protective Services bust through the house while one of them shoves Human Kimber.

Human Kimber: Hey!

Child Protective Service Officer: Everyone, freeze! Child Protection Services! We got an ominous tip that someone had been turning children into gargoyles in this house!

Human Korvo: What?! No! We weren't-

The Protective Service Officers look at the grown ups and then at the kids, as they realize Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Human Pupa, Sonya and Human Lili are the children.

Child Protection Service Officer: Ah-ha! These three teenagers, toddler and baby must be the children.

Human Yumyulack: Yeah. What's it to ya?

Child Protection Service Officer: You children are coming with us!

Human Korvo: What?! The hell they aren’t!

Human Terry: Yeah! You can’t take our kids away from us!

A Child Protection Service officer grabs Human Jesse's arm.

Human Jesse: *screams* Terry! Korvo! Help!

Human Terry gasps and grabs onto Human Jesse's other arm.

Human Terry: No! My baby! Don’t take my baby!

Child Protection Service Officer: Sir, I order you to let her go!

Human Terry: My baby!

Human Terry breaks down into tears as Human Korvo comforts him.

Human Yumyulack and Sonya: *gets grabbed by Child Protection Services* Aaah! Hey! Let us go you monsters! You motherfuckers! Fucking let us go! Korvo, Terry, help!

Human Pupa: *gets grabbed by one of the CPS officers; screams* Korvo! Terry! Help!

Human Korvo: Don't worry! We'll find a way to save you!

Then, the CPS Officer takes Human Lili away from Human Korvo as she starts crying.

Human Korvo: No! Lili!

The kids starts panicking and screaming as the CPS shoved them into the CPS as the adults watch in horror and distraught. As the CPS drive away Human Terry has a panic attack as he turns back into his Shlorpian form.

Terry: *panicking* Oh my God! My baby! My babygirl! Our babies! Those fuckers took our babies away from us!

Human Korvo gasps and turns back into his Shlorpian form as he comforts Terry

Korvo: Don’t worry Terry, we’ll find a way to rescue our kids.

Korvo has an idea.

Korvo: Okay. Janiz, Kimber, Evil Terry, get the AIs and meet me and Terry in our new family bus! We got a rescue mission to save our kids!

Human Evil Terry: Got it!

Korvo and Terry into their human forms as they go papa wolf.

Human Terry: Child Protective Services...YOU MET YOUR FUCKING MATCH!

Human Korvo: Come on Terry, we got five little sprouts to save!

Human Terry: Right! *kisses Korvo on the neck*

Human Korvo moans lovingly. Then, the scene cuts to the CPS with the Wingstop. Human Jesse is sobbing.

Sonya: Aw, don’t worry Jesse. Our daddies, Auntie Janiz, Kimber, Evil Terry and our AIs will come rescue us.

Human Jesse: *sniffles* I hope so...

Human Yumyulack: *stress eating chicken wings* Oh man, I am freaking out so much that I am stress eating those wings from Wingstop!

Sonya sighs.

Human Pupa: *comforting human Lili* There there Lili. Pupa’s here.

Human Lili: *cries*

Human Yumyulack: Aw, don’t cry Lili. *picks up Lili and soothes her* It’s gonna be okay. Our daddies will come save us.

The Replicants, Pupa and Lili then turns back into their aliens forms. Unknown to them, the CPS Officers saw the whole thing on camera.

Child Protective Services Officer: What?! They can shapeshift?!

CPS Officer #2: Did you see what those three kids and baby just did? I think we might finally have the right ones for Project Dark Brilliance. *calls someone; whispering* My Little Pony Omega Code 3. *hangs up phone* Franklin, get them ready for transport!

Meanwhile with the adults

Human AISHA: Okay. We’re tracking them down right now! I can see the five dots moving. Those must be the kids. They’re heading somewhere else now away from the CPS and Wingstop!

Human Terry: Where's that?

Human EVA: They’re heading to… Javier’s Scool and Secret Government Where We Do Things to Kids?!

Human Korvo gasps and then something in him snaps.

Human Korvo: THEY’RE GONNA EXPERIMENT ON MY KIDS?!

Human Korvo steps on the pedal, causing the bus to speed up. Human Terry then looks at the location and gasp as he remembers the place from the “Gargoyle Ray” episode.

Human Terry: Oh my God! I’ve been there before! Remember when Korvo and I got taken away by CPS?! I went to that place where I was saved by some doctor lady! I don’t know who she is but she thought I was a kid.

Human Evil Terry then remembers who the doctor woman is

Human Evil Terry: Wait? You met her once?

Human Terry: Yeah. Why do you ask?

Human Evil Terry: I think… I’ve seen her before…

Human Korvo: How do you know?

Human Evil Terry: I know her name. Dr. Weatherstone.

Human Terry and Human Korvo gasp

Human Terry: Wait?! You met her too?! How?!

A flashback plays of Human Evil Terry blushing when he looks at Dr. Weatherstone.

Human Evil Terry: Hmm?

The flashback ends

Human Evil Terry: To be honest, she seems so nice and… *blushing while sighing lovingly* and kinda cute.

Human Terry: Oooh! Someone's in love.

Human Evil Terry gasp and blushes while smiling.

Human Evil Terry: Yeah. I guess I am...

Human Terry: Aw I’m so happy for you. I mean love is pretty complicated but hey! I got it from my Korvy. Who is the most sweetest…

Human Terry’s voice muffles as Human Korvo looks at him lovingly.

[KORVO]

When I was five, I fell in love It didn't last

He ran from me

Literally ran from me

And being Kenyan

He ran fast

When I was ten, in love again

This peace corps guy I waited hours

Inside his tent with flowers

Which made him laugh

Which made me cry

By 13, I gave up trying I decided I would be a mathematician

'Cause math is real I memorized a lot of pi

Because additions, and subtractions, and division

Would never make me feel so stupid with love

Like I didn't get it I didn't get it, somehow

Smart with math, but stupid with love

I didn't get it I didn't get it 'til now

Do you have an eraser? I would love to

So thank you, math, for being there

To bring me joy

And thank you, math

'Cause now brought me this cute boy!

Is it two? Yes!

He's like someone from TV

He's like that guy who give out roses to those women

His clothes, his grooming

And he's a foot away from me

With swoopy hair and shiny eyes that I could swim in

He is live and in the room!

And I'm stupid with love I wanna get it I wanna to get it, but how? Smart with math, but stupid with love

I wanna get it

I didn't get it 'til now

Two over zero is undefined (two over zero is undefined)

Jinx Ha!

I'm astounded and non-plussed I am filled with calculust

Does this guy work out?

He must All sweaty at the gym

Could that image be more hot? Let me just enjoy that thought

School was rough but now, it's not

'Cause now there's him

It's all so simple

Stupid with love

But I can get it

Watch this Shlorpian self-educate

I learned math so I can learn love

You wanna bet it?

That I can get it?

Just wait

Just wait

Just wait!

Human Korvo: Oh Terry!

Human Korvo jumps into Human Terry's arms and laughs

Human Terry: Whoa! *gets pulled in for a French kiss as the two husbands moan lovingly*

Human Janiz smiles. The scene then cuts to Javier’s School and Secret Government Where We Do Things to Kids?! where Dr. Weatherstone is checking on the recruits until she saw the Replicants, Pupa and Lili shapeshift back into their alien forms while her boss comes in.

Javier: Dr. Weatherstone, how are the new recruits!

Dr. Weatherstone: They're doing alright. And their shapeshifting powers are phenomenal!

Javier: What?! *sees the Replicants, Pupa and Lili* Those four out of those five children must be perfect! We must prep for surgery immediately!

Dr. Weatherstone: But sir, this is wrong.

Javier: Enough of this Weatherstone! You already failed last time with one of them last year, but this time it’s personal! Evil shit is finally going down!

Dr. Weatherstone: But sir-

Javier laughs evilly as he left. Dr. Weatherstone then makes a drastic decision.

Dr. Weatherstone: Oh my God… this isn’t right. I gotta help those five innocent angels! *hears a doorbell* Oh yeah taco salad, come to mama!

Meanwhile with the adults, they’ve finally arrived at the secret lab. Human Evil Terry gets out his knife and opens the hatch. The adults break in as they search everywhere for help.

Human Terry: HELP! *starts tearing up* PLEASE HELP!

Human Korvo: Hey hey! Easy Terry! What’s wrong?!

Human Terry: I'm looking for help!

Human Janiz: Well, these people can’t be trusted! Why do you want help now?!

Dr. Weatherstone suddenly appears

Dr. Weatherstone: What the hell?! Hey, you guys aren’t allowed in here! What’s going on?!

Human Terry: Hey! Nice to see you again!

Dr. Weatherstone: What the fuck?! Have we met?!

The adults look at each other and nod before turning into their Shlorpian forms

Terry: Now you remember me?!

Dr. Weatherstone gasps

Dr. Weatherstone: Wait a minute, I know you. You’re that adult that I thought was a kid.

Terry: Yep.

Evil Terry blushes upon seeing Dr. Weatherstone

Evil Terry: Hey good looking.

Dr. Weatherstone: Hey, it's you. *blushes* Good to see you again...

Evil Terry: That’s right. Glad you’re not freaked out by my true appearance.

Dr. Weatherstone smiles as Evil Terry puts a hand on her cheek.

Evil Terry: *seductively* Mmm, tell you what. Those glasses are pretty fetching to me.

Dr. Weatherstone gets flustered

Dr. Weatherstone: *blushes* Oh wow. No one has ever told me that. Thank you. But then again, what are you all doing here?

Korvo: We're here for our kids.

Terry: Those monsters are gonna experiment on our babies!

Dr. Weatherstone gasps

Dr. Weatherstone: What?!

The adults rushed in the room where Dr. Weatherstone plays the last footage of the kids when they arrived here.

Dr. Weatherstone: *points to the Replicants, Pupa, Sonya and Lili* These five are your kids?!

Terry: Yeah, that's them!

Korvo: Those are our two sons and three daughters!

The adults rush to save the kids.

Korvo: Hang on kids! Daddy’s coming!

Meanwhile with the kids...

Jesse: Um guys, don’t you get the feeling this whole school is shady?

Yumyulack: Yeah...

Sonya: I know. Plus, I don’t think this Javier guy is very nice. He seems a bit suspicious don’t you think.

Jesse: Yeah. Better turn back into our human forms before he comes back.

The kids turn into their human forms. Suddenly... Javier came in and traps the kids with kid-size claws, except for human Lili.

Human Yumyulack: What the fuck is happening now?!

Human Lili: *cries*

Javier: Got you kids now! Time to commence Project Dark Brilliance!

Suddenly Javier is knocked out by Human MAX

Javier: Ugh! What the fuck?!

The human adults arrive as the kids gasp in joy

Human Yumyulack: Korvo!

Human Jesse and Human Pupa: Terry!

Sonya: Auntie Janiz and Kimber!

Human AISHA: Don’t forget about us!

Human Korvo picks up Human Lili

Human Lili: *cries but then calms down upon seeing her daddy and babbles in joy*

Human Korvo: Hey, Lili...

Human Lili hugs her daddy’s face while the kids run over and hugs their dads, aunts, AIs and parental substitutes.

Human Kimber: Are you kids okay?

Human Jesse: *crying as she hugs Human Terry* Oh we miss you guys so much!

Human Terry: I know you did, baby. I know...

Human Yumyulack: *hugging Human Korvo while weeping* We thought we never see you guys again…

Human Korvo comforts his son.

Human Korvo: *softly rubbing Human Yumyulack’s back* Shh.. it’s okay my little sprout… daddy’s here.

Human Pupa: Auntie!

Human Pupa starts crying as he embraces Human Janiz who laughs and comforts Human Pupa. Dr. Weatherstone smiles.

Dr. Weatherstone: You guys really are great parents.

Human Terry: Yeah, we know...

Javier gets up as he growls as the family.

Javier: What the fuck are you doing?! You sick sci-fi pricks are ruining everything!

Human Jesse: Uh oh.

Javier: Dr. Weatherstone! I just happened to be here for the Project Dark Brilliance, and this is what I see when we adjourn? My assistant associating with confused, insignificant sci-fi lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how you move up in this secret lab! Come, Dr. Weatherstone!

Dr. Weatherstone: *finally putting her foot down* No sir!

Javier: Excuse me?

Dr. Weatherstone: You've spent your life acting like a monster and raised me to follow in your footsteps! At first I thought this was fine, but then I finally realized I wanted something you don't have – a family!

Javier: That's enough, Dr. Weatherstone! Step away from those monsters!

Dr. Weatherstone: These are the Solar Opposites, and they are my friends! You need to stop calling them such mean and fucking disgusting names! They are working harder to fit in than anyone I've ever seen! And they will get them exactly when they discover their true selves, which I guarantee will be amazing! Now, will you please leave those kids alone?!

Javier is shocked by Dr. Weatherstone putting her foot down

Javier: What?! After all we’ve work so hard on?!

Dr. Weatherstone: Yeah.

Javier: *snapping* Why you little…

Human Korvo kicks Javier in the face.

Human Korvo: That’s for trying to dissect my kids, you fucker!

The Solars leave with Dr. Weatherstone following them

Dr. Weatherstone: *to Javier* Oh and by the way… I quit!

Human Evil Terry smiles. Dr. Weatherstone slammed the door shut as she and the Solars run to their bus. During the drive home, Evil Terry and Dr. Weatherstone look at each other and blush as romantic music plays

Evil Terry: I have to admit. You were pretty brave.

Dr. Weatherstone smiles and removes her hair tie.

Dr. Weatherstone: *giggles while blushing* Thanks.

Evil Terry blushes because Dr. Weatherstone is beautiful with her hair down

Evil Terry: You look very pretty with that hair down. You even have a cute smile.

Dr. Weatherstone blushes and leans in and kisses Evil Terry on the cheek

Dr. Weatherstone: Thank you… for helping me stand up for myself and for you guys too…

Evil Terry smiles and surprises Dr. Weatherstone by kissing her on the lips. The two started to main lovingly as they continue to kiss while the kids look away and cover their eyes in disgust.

Yumyulack, Jesse, Pupa and Sonya: Eew. Gross. Come on, boo! Yucky! Aw guys, right now?! Yuck! Blegh!

Evil Terry and Dr. Weatherstone stop kissing and blush

Evil Terry: Wow. Best kiss ever.

Dr. Weatherstone: Did you enjoy it?

Evil Terry nods and chuckles.

Evil Terry: Yes I did.

The couple kisses again as Terry smiles.

Terry: *to himself* Glad he is really happy… *then looks at Korvo lovingly* just like I am..

Korvo blushes and smiles.

Korvo: Aw thanks honey. *kisses Terry on the lips*

The Solars arrive home and Evil Terry carries Dr. Weatherstone to the bedroom

Evil Terry: *seductively* Say, you wanna have some fun, sugar?

Dr. Weatherstone: *giggles* You know it.

Evil Terry and Dr. Weatherstone take off their clothes as they makeout and starts to have sex for the first time as they moan lovingly while Evil Terry dominates Dr. Weatherstone.

Dr. Weatherstone: *moans* Ooooh! That feels so good! Yes!

Evil Terry: *moans* Oooh! Watch out! I seen this on Starz!

Dr. Weatherstone: Oh, what the fuck... *moans*

Evil Terry: Oh baby! *moans* you make me feel sooo hot and goooood

Evil Terry plays with Dr. Weatherstone's boobs

Dr. Weatherstone: Oh baby! *moans lovingly* keep doing that thing! Ooooh!

Meanwhile with the others, the kids are hugging their dads because they are happy to be back home.

Jesse: We're glad everything's back to normal. *hears Evil Terry and Dr. Weatherstone having sex and groans in disgust*

Terry: I’m so happy our five little rascals are home safe and sound!

Yumyulack: Thanks guys.

Lili: *coos*

Korvo: Oh we missed you too Lili. *tickles Lili chin as she giggles*

Evil Terry and Dr. Weatherstone come down the stairs

Evil Terry: So, how are you kids feeling? Pretty sleepy after long day?

The kids nod tiredly

Yumyulack: Yeah. *yawns* Today's been crazy...

Jesse, Sonya and Pupa: *tiredly* Yeah…

Later, Korvo tucks the children into bed and closes the door.

Korvo: I am so happy our children are back home, safe and sound.

Terry: Me too.

Korvo: *yawns* Shall we head to our bedroom, my darling Terry-bear?

Terry: Yeah...

The two husbands then head to their bedroom. A few seconds later, Korvo tucks Lili to bed and gives her a kiss on the forehead as she coos in her sleep. The two husband then tuck themselves in as they kiss each other good night.

Korvo: Good night Terry-bear…

Terry: Night, Korvy...

The two husbands kiss each other on the lips good night and heads to sleep as they snuggle and cuddle with each other lovingly.

[anguilliforme]

The only reason i know they’re going to survive is there’s no reason to bring two russians on board unless there’s going to be future drama but still my heart is out of my fucking chest

[captainsimagines]

“I Could Fall in Love”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I hope you enjoy this little drabble as much as I enjoyed writing it. Cutting it close to midnight on Valentine’s Day but hey, it still counts. xx Moni

BUCKY BARNES X READER DRABBLE

Warnings: none, simply fluff!

Word Count: 3000+

Song Fanfic: Listen and enjoy!

~

     It wasn’t that you hated Valentine’s Day, you just didn’t see it as purely romantic. In your opinion, it was supposed to represent so much more than just romantic love. Friendships, beginnings and endings, the actual historical event, elementary school card giving, baked goods, and a nice dinner for either yourself or in the presence of others. So, no - you didn’t hate it. In fact, you actually quite enjoyed the giddy feeling of seeing other couples go all out for a single day, the sweets that were always available, and the awesome discounts. 

     “Come with us!” Natasha whined, filling up her glass with some oat milk and passing Steve some utensils at the same time. She wasn’t whining excessively, as that wasn’t in her nature, but she did raise her voice as her tone shifted from playful to annoyance. You rolled your eyes and chewed on your bagel, shaking your head dramatically. You plastered on your best grin, but it was overpowered by the massive chunk of bagel in your mouth. So you sat there, stupid bagel-filled grin covering your face, and tiny giggles threatening to escape as Natasha’s face also dropped into a silly one. 

     The rest of the crew was planning on attending a private Valentine’s Day party hosted by a close business partner of Tony’s. It sounded like a lot of fun and a perfect excuse to dress-up, but you had a tiny mission to go on before it. It was not a ‘mission-mission’ so to say- more like a ‘get in, get out, this will literally take two seconds and I could do this any other day’ type of mission. Natasha had given you such a disapproving look when you told her what your actual plans were for tonight, but she expected nothing less. You always had something else up your sleeve. 

     And that you did. 

     Since your mission was a quickie, you would be able to return to the compound before everyone else and bake your special pink cupcakes they all knew and loved. A sweet mixture of vanilla and strawberry, no flavor overpowering the other. You had recently perfected the recipe, only having Natasha and Bucky taste the final product, and because of their genuine surprise and praise, you were ready to bake dozens for everyone proudly.

     She finished her glass and went to wash it. “Still, I think you’re missing out! I hear the food is gonna be great!”

     You shrugged, “Eh, we have food here.”

     You heard Natasha release a tiny scoff, “Please tell me your actual reason before I laugh too loudly and wake everyone up.”

     “I swear, I’ve been putting off this mission for so long that tonight just seemed like the perfect time. Everyone’s occupied- I don’t know. I mean, criminals gotta get laid too, right?”

      Natasha snorted, “That’s very true.” She eyed you suspiciously while drying her glass. 

     “You know, you and Barnes are the only one’s not attending. Obviously, his excuse is that he’s literally on a mission right now but you see my point.”

     “No, I don’t see your point.”

     Natasha smiled, as if secretly knowing your other very valid reason for not attending the party. “We all have dates. You know that if he were here you would be going with him, even as friends. But since you would literally be the only one of us without a date, it seems reasonable you wouldn’t want to attend.”

    Okay, she hit that spot-on. 

    You groaned and lay your arms across the counter dramatically, “Stop, it’s scary how right you are all the time.”

    Natasha laughed and rounded the counter, going over to pat your shoulders. “I’m not making you go. Don’t worry. Just give yourself some self-care and I’ll see you tonight to let you know I got home safe.”

     You nodded and waved goodbye to her, ready to finish the everything bagel you had abandoned. 

          Bucky wasn’t one to dress-up for a night out anymore. He just didn’t have the motivation to do anything unless it involved stake-outs, knitting, painting, and binge-watching some stupid series you were watching. It always happened the same way, too. You would be casually chilling in the main common room of the compound, barely starting the first episode of a new series with stacks of junk food ready for your eager taste buds, when Bucky would randomly come in and ask what you were watching. And the next thing Bucky knew, you two were discussing the hidden elements of The Crown and debating whether a scene actually happened the way it was portrayed. By God, how much Bucky absolutely detested Prince Charles. 

     And you were so determined to knit that sweater for Natasha by her birthday that you came to Bucky’s room five times a day now rather than your usual three. But Bucky was extremely patient, helping you hook the remaining yarn that kept falling off your needles. Each time you pouted over the ‘horrible knot you made’ or when the yarn would tangle, Bucky would grin and tease you about, his stomach twisting pleasurably.

     And each time he would reach over to help you fix it, your heart fluttered ever so slightly. 

     Bucky had actually planned on taking you to that Valentine’s Day party but his mission carried on longer than it was supposed to. Rather than returning a day before the party, he would now be returning towards the middle of it. He wondered if you were still going to go, but he highly doubted it. Not because you had told him explicitly, but because you had joked that if he wasn’t able to go, then ‘why would you bother?’. 

     To see you in that red dress you had jokingly placed over your already clothed body and modeled for him - Yeah, he absolutely hated he was missing this party tonight. 

     His mission had just ended and he was currently on the flight home, resting in his tactical gear but with the headphones you let him borrow in each ear. He chuckled lowly, realizing that most things he had in his possession, whether that be the headphones, hair bands, lotion, and Spotify account, all belonged to you. It brought him some comfort as he fixed himself in his seat, settling on your ‘Love me please?’ playlist to match the special holiday. 

     Lovebug by the Jonas Brothers. Tonight by FM Static. Oh, dozens by Taylor Swift. You’ll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins. And a whole lot of Selena songs. 

     There was one song that caught his attention, as if the title spoke to him. It just made sense. He clicked it, surprised by the upbeat beginning and rhythm of the drums, finally closing his eyes as he heard the melody from the acoustic guitar. 

     He lost count of how many times he replayed that one song as his plane touched land. He quickly woke himself up and gathered his things, ready to jump into a warm shower and watch an episode of The Crown behind your back. The drive to the compound was short and he entered the living quarters somewhat alert. There were no sounds his super soldier ears could hear besides the clicks of keyboards by overtime workers and computers humming. Kind of sad and joyful at once, Bucky realized he was alone for the first time in a long time. Maybe he would try that face mask you had urged him to buy tonight. And those very comfortable pajamas. 

          Ever the procrastinator, you never did go on that mission.

     You were humming along to your Valentine’s playlist as you cracked the eggs into your bowl. You stirred quickly, bowl in your arms and a strike of flour along your unknowing cheek. You had your earphones in, enjoying the solace of such a peaceful night. The mix was coming together nicely and as you waited for the oven to preheat, you took out all of your cupcake supplies to set on the kitchen counter. 

     You could have sworn you heard some noises a few doors down so you took one earphone out to listen closely. At first you heard nothing, but you could have sworn you heard the likes of a toothbrush tapping against a bathroom counter. But as you stood there comically, bowl in your arms and whisk held up like a weapon, you settled on no disturbance. 

     You set the bowl down quietly and ran over to the door, looking down the hallway. Once you saw it was completely empty, you couldn’t contain the grin that spread across your face. You raced back to the kitchen and called for Friday. 

     “Friday? Could you please connect my phone to the living room speakers, please?”

     “Done.”

     You scrolled through your playlist and settled on a song that would for sure damage your vocal cords but delight you nonetheless. 

“I could lose my heart tonight

If you don’t turn and walk away

     You swayed around the kitchen as you traveled to grab each new ingredient, singing at the appropriate level the song called for. 

Because the way I feel I might

Lose control and let you stay

     Bucky had just finished brushing his teeth and putting a warm pair of socks on when he heard Friday play the exact song he had been listening to for the past two hours. At first he wondered if Friday had mistakenly connected his phone to the speakers but realized his phone didn’t even have the Spotify app open. He quickly walked down the cold floors of the hallway, his warm socks somewhat doing their job. He stopped at the living room entrance and leaned his shoulder on the doorway, beaming with a huge grin. 

Because I could, take you in my arms

And never let go

     You twirled around and used the whisk as a microphone, and to both your and Bucky’s surprise, hit every note perfectly. Bucky knew you were a great singer and although he would never admit it, he had heard you singing in the shower quite a few times. It was impossible not to at the level of volume you sang, but each time he would come into your room to grab something random or to ask you a question, he would sit outside the shower door and listen to your angelic voice as it sailed through the steamy air and into Bucky’s ears. But here you were, belting out the exact song Bucky had just learned all the lyrics for on his way home.

I could fall, in love, with you

     It was in that moment that Bucky realized he was in his ‘comfortable pajamas’, which consisted of a loose long sleeve and bottoms set, with a nice dark blue color and white stitching along the pockets and buttons. But the sleeves, incredibly so, were far too long for his arms so he would crunch them up in his palms. And his socks had stripes on them. But he remained still on the door frame, watching you sway to the music and enjoying the scent of your first batch of cupcakes already in the oven.

I could only wonder how touching you

Would make me feel

     You halted immediately when you saw his tall form resting on the door frame, a giant grin plastered on his newly shaven face. You yelped in surprise, putting down the whisk and patting your hands on your little green apron. 

     “Bucky, oh my god! Say something if you’re going to enter a room!”

     Bucky just shrugged, walking over to the kitchen counter, eyes never leaving yours. He leaned over and placed his chin in both his palms, smiling as the music continued playing in the background. “I like this song.”

     You squinted at him, “You know this song?”

     Bucky nodded, holding his hand out now for you to take. “Like I said, I like this song.”

But if I take that chance right now

Tomorrow will you want me still?

     You reached over hesitantly and let Bucky lead you over to the carpet. He wrapped one arm around your waist and rested the other higher up on your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck, allowing for his large frame to sway you both to the rhythm of the song. 

     “Nice pajamas.”

     “Shut up.”

     The room was dimly lit, cupcake aroma circling you two, and his snuggly pajamas seemed to also provide you the warmth you were previously getting from the oven. You smiled up at him, low giggles emitting from your lips. He did the same, enjoying the feel of your body pressed up against his. 

So I should, keep this to myself

And never let you know

     “When did you get back?” you asked, reaching up to touch his shaven cheek. You were undoubtedly curious about the feeling.

     Bucky let you roam your hand all over, “About an hour ago. I didn’t think anyone was here.”

     You chuckled, “I am! I told you I wasn’t going to bother going to that party if my plus one wasn’t coming!”

     Bucky lifted his arm and twirled you slowly, happy that you followed his lead. “So, I’m your plus one now?”

     You rolled your eyes, “Always.”

I could fall, in love, with you

     “How did you even hear about this song?” you asked, hands now resting comfortably on Bucky’s chest. He had his arms wrapped around you, hugging you to his chest as you two swayed. 

      “We share a Spotify account, doll.”

     “Yeah, but it’s a love playlist. Were you just in the mood for some ballads and stumbled across this one?”

      “Exactly. It’s quite the tearjerker.”

And I know it’s not right

And I guess I should try

To do what I should do

     He looked so relaxed at this moment, fresh and calm, enjoying the dance he pulled you into. He was resting his chin on the top of your head so you felt his little puffs of air escape his nostrils. And as he breathed in, you could feel his chest rise and lower below your palms. You were tempted to reach up and grab his face, pull him into yourself and share a sweet kiss, but you decided against it. For some reason you knew that this was different. You had snuggled before during naps or binge watching, but they never had a romantic undertone. And if you acted upon your desires, you were frightened it just might ruin your friendship. It took you two years to build up such a rapport with this man, and dare you say you were extremely proud to harbor some of his deepest secrets, and him yours. But his breathing calmed you immensely, as if the gentle rhythm was enough to put you to sleep, and you wondered if he was thinking about the same thing. 

But I fall in love, with you

So I should, keep this to myself

And never let you know

     Bucky seemed to hug you tighter as the lyrics encircled the room. Over the last few weeks he had felt a shift in your relationship, where sharing food was no longer as innocent as it seemed, barging into each other’s room was not seen as drastic, and partaking in each other’s hobbies was never a bore. Steve had commented on it before, asking Bucky if there was something between you two. And Bucky confided in both Steve and Sam, hands pulling at his hair as he paced in a safe room and his friends sitting patiently on the lone couch. They let him act out his worries in peace, and once Bucky tired himself out they both explained how he should ask you out or how to bring up the topic with you. Bucky listened intently and pushed down the tiny voice in his head that joked about Steve being the one to give him romantic advice. But if he ended up with you on his arm after this little pep talk, it would all be worth it. 

     But now the song was coming closer to its end, and he knew that if he didn’t act now then he probably wouldn’t have the courage to bring it up ever again. He leaned down to your left ear, and whispered the lyrics to you. In Spanish. 

Siempre estoy soñando en ti

Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel

Abrazándome con ansias locas

Imaginando que me amas

Como yo podía amar a ti

[I am always dreaming of you

Kissing my lips and touching my skin

Anxiously hugging me

Imagining that you love me

Like how I love you]

     You knew Bucky knew several languages. You knew. But it made you incredibly excited and hot that he specifically knew Spanish. He spoke in such a gentle manner, breath hitting your skin and voice practically drowning your mind. It was all foggy for a moment, but you quickly refocused your attention on his face. 

     “Oh, wow.”

      Bucky smiled, “What?”

     You scoffed and swatted his chest lightly, “Don’t ‘what’ me! You just confessed you like me!”

     Bucky pushed you away for another twirl under his arm, but kept you at arms length once you turned around. “No, I confessed I love you.”

     You stumbled slightly, staring at him with wide eyes. You thought about how absurd that confession was, but as quickly as that thought entered your mind, it left - because let’s face it, you did know each other for over two years and were best friends. This was right. This felt right. 

     “You love me?”

     Bucky breathed in deeply but your reaction didn’t change his mind. It was now or never. “Yeah, I do. Seemed like the moment to tell you.”

     You grinned, pushing your body forward to be engulfed by his strong arms once more. “And to think you could have just told me at this damn party when I was looking all hot without freaking flour on my face.”

     Bucky let out a loud laugh that originated from the pit of his stomach and reached his hands up to your face. He pulled you in and kissed you sweetly, the taste of your lip gloss driving him wild. He tasted like toothpaste and chapstick, a perfect combination for your superhero. 

     “I love you, too.” Bucky let his eyes close in complete bliss. 

     You could have stayed like that forever, but as you left his lips and looked up at him, you suddenly remembered you never set a timer. 

     You pushed Bucky away, your sudden strength sending him backwards onto the couch. “My cupcakes!”

      And as you rushed to pull the burnt tops from the oven, you could hear Bucky slide off the couch and hit the floor, his laugh louder than the speakers. 

I could fall, in love

With you.”

~

Happy Valentine’s Day. All the love. xxMoni

[ifeelallwrite]

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long 

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives.  I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch. 

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well. 

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise. 

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I just wanted to make you smile again; 10th Doctor x child reader

*Author’s note*

Okay to the anon who requested this fic THANK YOU FOR BEING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PATIENT WITH ME!!!! To those anons and users who have sent me requests literally since last year I thank you all for your patience, I AM GETTING THEM DONE SLOWLY BUT SURELY. I’m already in process of doing another DW fic w/13th doctor (one of the first requests I got when I opened them last year) so I hope you all enjoy this fic.

This takes place after the episode Journey’s end so to those that haven’t seen the episode yet SPOILERS AHEAD!!! Angst and fluff is what this fic is. Enjoy my lovelies and until next time ;)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@platawnic​

_________________________________________________________

Things have been—tough. The Daleks, one of my daddy’s biggest enemies nearly had us and almost succeeded in destroying all of life and matter as we know it.  But thanks to some fast thinking and with the help of a clone of my dad, we managed to stop Davros as well as the rest of the Daleks.

But honestly that was the easy part.  The hardest was saying goodbye to all of our friends.  Rose and her mum went back to the parallel world with the meta-human clone of my daddy, Captain Jack took Martha and Mickey off on another adventure, Sarah Jane (an old friend of my dad’s long before I was born) went back home, and Donna—oh poor, poor Donna.

Daddy said that in order to help stop the Daleks, Donna, who had touched the severed hand of my dad when he first became this new version of himself, gained so much knowledge of the Timelords and of our home that it could overwhelm her brain and eventually kill her.  So my dad had to absorb all memory of Timelord knowledge, including all the times she spent with us.

After taking her back home, daddy told her father that it was too dangerous for her to remember anything.  If there was a glimpse of her recovering her memories, she would die.  So my dad and I left her and her family and he never went back.

Since that day, almost seven months later, he still carries that guilt.  And what’s worse is that he hasn’t been the same. He doesn’t smile as much as he used to before.  I think out of everything that I love about my daddy, it’s his smile that always made me feel happy and safe.

I stepped out of my room to see him where he usually was, standing at the controls with that dazed but intense look on his face.  I looked down at paper butterfly and cautiously walked towards my dad. It’s always a touch and go of how he’ll react whenever he’s in that deep haze.  One time he actually shouted at me and I was scared to even go near him for an entire week till he apologized to me with some Turkish delights.

“Daddy.” I said softly. “Umm…uhh daddy?” he snapped out of his daze and looked down at me.

“Oh (Y/n). Sorry I was just—I was just trying to find….nothing. What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“Well I—finished my paper butterfly and I-wanted to give it to you.” I held it out to him and he looked down at me.  He knelt down and took the butterfly from my hands and I saw his eyes grow soft.

“It’s beautiful love. Thank you.” he gently ruffled my hair and placed my butterfly right along the controls.  It didn’t work.

I had hoped that my paper butterfly would get him to smile.  He always smiled whenever I made him little trinkets of my own design, or beautiful art projects that I’ve seen on Earth.  I thought that by doing an art project, he’d smile again but it didn’t work.

I was currently in my room reading some books written back in the 20th century.  I’ve always found that time period to be rather splendid.  It was a simpler time (if you don’t count the 2 World wars, the Great depression, and every war after that. You know why must humans always start wars?)

Anyways, the start of the 20th century is always my favorite place.  It’s quiet, tranquil, and peaceful.  A nice place, especially out in the countryside. People can have picnics, host carnivals, and yeah the grown men partake in Foxhunt but I think it’s a barbaric sport and yet they call it tradition.

Maybe if—maybe if we stayed there for a while, daddy could get better and smile once again.  I think the more time we stay in the TARDIS and just keep going through space and time, the more unhappy daddy’s gonna get, like I said he always gets lost in his head and the more bad things that happen around him, the more he keeps it bottled up inside and the more sadder he gets.

The only question now was this—how was I gonna get there? I don’t know how to drive the TARDIS cause daddy always told me to keep my grabby little paws off of it. Oh wait that’s it! I raced over to my drawer and pulled out the middle one and dug through it till I found what I was looking for.

A special teleportation watch gifted to me by Uncle Jack when my dad was in his previous form (just shortly after we first met him).  I placed the watch on my wrist and I set the time and date that I wanted to go to.  Once the coordinates were typed in, I pressed the center of the watch and I disappeared from my room and went to go set up my surprise for daddy.

*10th Doctor’s POV*

I was fiddling around with the controls when I turned and looked up at my daughter’s butterfly.  For months now she’s been making these little trinkets and art projects for me, and I really haven’t been fair to her.  A lot has happened to us, especially with what happened to Donna, and I hate to admit this to myself but I’ve been neglecting my little butterfly.

Maybe she would like it if I took her to see her favorite constellation, or maybe Barcelona (she always did like Barcelona).  Oh! No wait! The Music of the Spheres! Yes brilliant! She and I could use some music in our life, the sound of the universe singing to us.

“Hey (Y/n)! Can you come out here for a second?” I called out to her.  No response.  Okay I know it usually takes her a bit of time to come down from her room but usually she’d be right here by now. “(Y/n)? (Y/n) I said can you come here please?” bah she must be listening to that loud music again, that lass I tell you what.

I left the console room and headed on over to her room and saw that her door was shut which was surprising cause she usually keeps her door open.  I knocked on it and said.

“Poppet, are you okay? You’re not—upset or anything are you?” I still didn’t hear anything from her.  “Look I—I know we’ve been through a lot the past several months, and I have no excuse for not speaking to you. I’m sorry. So—can you please open the door so we can talk?” still nothing.

Alright I know she has a right to be upset but she can’t give me the silent treatment forever.  I opened up the door and snapped.

“Alright little madam you listen here I—” it was then I saw that she wasn’t in her room. “(Y/n)?” I looked around her room to see if she was hiding in her closet again (she always takes every advantage to jump out and scare me) but when I saw that she wasn’t there, that’s when I began to get worried.

As I left her room and began to look all around the TARDIS from the backroom pool, to the library I still couldn’t find her.

“C’mon poppet don’t do this to me.” I searched high and low, near and far and every crack in between but she still wasn’t around. “No, no, no, no, no love don’t do this to me! (Y/n)!”

I raced back towards the console and went over to the computer monitor and I quickly typed in her lifeform energy.  Since she was the only Timelord in existence (well next to me), I knew that she could be pinpoint at any time in any era she might be in.  I only hope that I can get to her before—no! NO DON’T THINK LIKE THAT!! You WON’T lose her like you lost Donna!

“C’mon you blasted thing LOAD!!!” I screamed at the computer before finally I got a hit.  London, England 1908.  Of course, she always said the start of the 20th century was her favorite time period.  I punched in the coordinates and flipped the switch and soon the TARDIS started back up and I was sailing back in time over 100 years into the past.

Once I arrived, I peeked out of the TARDIS and found myself adjacent to a large park. It was pretty peaceful, families were out and about doing their normal human interactions.  I shut the doors to the TARDIS and I quickly raced over to the park and searched for (Y/n).

This was where her last known readings were at.  At this exact spot so where could that little troublemaker be at?  I walked up to a couple and said.

“Hi sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you have found a little girl around 5 years old with (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes? She’s my daughter and she’s wondered off again.”

“No sorry. We haven’t seen any little girls fitting that description.” Said the man as he and his wife continued on their walk.  I then found another couple who seemed a more upper-class couple due to the diamond necklace around the woman’s neck.

“Excuse me could you both please help me I’m looking for my daughter have either of you……”

“We don’t have time to look for lost children, that’s what the servants are for.” Said the man.

“And who loses their child anyway? Such irresponsibility.” The woman snide.  I looked at them offendedly and said.

“At least I don’t dump my child on anyone else! I’m surprised that people like you could even have children.” They looked at me appalled before huffing and walking away from me.  

I grunted and adjusted my jacket trying to compose myself when a small Cockney accent said.

“You said you were looking for (Y/n)?” I turned around and there was a young ginger haired boy with freckles speckled all over his face.  His bright blue eyes staring up at me and he wore a paper boy’s uniform.

“Yeah that’s my daughter’s name. Do you know where she is?”

“Course I do Gov. Just got done talking with her before I started my work sir. She’s right by the lake.”

“The Lake! Oh thank you lad. Thank you so much.”

“No problem, good luck governor.” I raced off towards the lake and when I got there, I soon saw my daughter sitting right by the lake surrounded by flowers and in her lap it looked like she was in the process of making a flower crown.

The important thing was that she was safe, but that little missy is sooo going to get it now.

I trudged my way towards her and exclaimed.

“(Y/n)!” she stopped her work and turned around.  Her big (e/c) eyes staring up at me and a smile spread across her face. She stood up and ran towards me and hugged around my legs.

“Daddy you came!”

“Yes I did.” I knelt down and began to check to see if she was hurt or worst case scenario been replaced by a Graske. “Are you hurt?”

“No I’m perfectly fine.”

“Answer me this then. Who was the first companion that we had together?”

“Rose Tyler.” Okay this was my baby girl.  I immediately hugged her and whispered to her as I rest my head on top of hers.

“I thought I had lost you.” I then separated from her before scolding her vert sternly, “Do you have any idea how worried I was!? You leave your room with no note! How on earth did you leave the TARDIS without my knowledge?!”

“Uncle Jack’s time jump watch.” She said nervously as she held out her wrist.  I looked down and right there was the time teleport watch that Jack had given her shortly after we met him for the first time in my previous state.

“That figures. Remind me to never let him give you anymore teleportation gifts without my permission.” I muttered to myself. “Bottom line is that you left the TARDIS without my permission and had me scared to death! What if something happened to you hmm? Did it ever cross your mind about how that would make me feel!?”

Yes I know my voice was steadily getting angrier and angrier but she should’ve realized that my one rule for her is to never, ever, ever leave the TARDIS without my permission or knowledge and she broke that rule.

“I—I’m sorry daddy. I just……thought that if I brought you here, you would be happy.” My anger quickly vanished and confusion now took its place.

“What?” I asked her.

“Ever since—” she deeply sighed. “After what happened with Donna you never smile anymore. No matter what I’ve done, I could never get you to smile. Your real smile, the smile that always made me feel loved and protected. I thought that maybe we could—stay here for a while till you were happy again.” She looked down with regret.

I rubbed my hand over my face and through my hair before looking back down at her. I cupped my hands over her face and I said to her.

“What would I ever do without you my little butterfly?” she smiled softly.

“So we can stay?” she asked.

“For now.” I answered her.  She squealed happily and immediately hugged me around my neck repeatedly telling me thank you.  I smiled and embraced my baby girl back and kissed the top of her head as I rocked her back and forth.

This little madam truly does have me wrapped around her little finger, and she seems to know it as well.  But she was right.  Staying in one area made you stop and admire what’s around you, and not stay trapped inside your head letting your demons torment you.

We stayed in 1908 for about five months just enjoying each other’s company.  Going to the park every day, having picnics and tea parties out in the garden of our rented little cottage, and stargazing every night teaching her more about the galaxy and the stars.  

For the first time ever, I felt—peaceful, no regrets, no painful reminders of what I had to do to Donna, it was just me and my daughter.

[champagne-bucky]

Come Sail Away ⛵️

Summary: You and Bucky go on a vacation which leads to an unexpected turn of events.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW, SMUT, dub-con if you squint, fingering, hand job, spanking, daddy kink. 

Notes: Hey everyone! This is my entry for @imanuglywombat ‘s Ugliest Wombat Challenge. This theme that I chose is Beach Babes so here’s what I came up with. This was loosely inspired by the TV show The Nanny, if you know the episode I’m referencing then you know it’s about to go down. Anyways, please like, comment, reblog, inbox, and follow me for more!! Enjoy :)

The warm summer sun was beating down deliciously on your skin. The salt from the bright blue sea infiltrated your nostrils and was filled with with the scent of summer. Ah, summertime, where the days were unbearably hot and the nights mimicked the same. Less clothing to be worn and not a care in the world. 

You welcomed the warm weather with open arms. After dealing with a gruesome winter, and a spring which brought no tease of its following season, you were more than ready to throw your heavy coat into storage and get on the first bathing suit you could find. Yes, summer was here and you were drinking in every inch of the wonderful season. 

Work was rough this winter. Spending days to sometimes months in places that weren’t your own bed, sleeping in the most horrid conditions, and worst of all, the inclement weather had gotten you sick more times than you could count on both hands. Well, that’s what you signed up for with being an Avenger and all. You might not have super soldier serum to suppress the frigid air or a suit which comes with a built in heater to offer a blast of warmth in all the right places, but you have a nice week long cruise (courtesy of Tony) to forget about those lone nights in Siberia which ended up leaving you bed ridden for two weeks. 

Now you’re here, standing on the ships edge looking out of the vast ocean. Not a singular care in the world crosses your mind. You craved this, you craved the peace and bliss. 

“You stay out here any longer I’m afraid you’ll jump overboard and be one with the fishes,” Bucky chuckles from behind you and startles you. 

He was asked by Tony to “keep watch over you” which was code for “Barnes you need this vacation just as much as her, please for the love of God relax,” however, Tony would never tell him that. Bucky enjoyed working, a little too much. After all this time he was finally able to be the good guy for once and did whatever he could to keep the newly acquired bravado intact. 

“Barnes, didn’t expect to see you so close to me. Usually you’re hiding out of my line of sight, or so you thought,” you muttered the last part to yourself. He was really taking this watching over thing seriously. 

“Was getting bored. I’m starting to think this mission was more a vacation for me and you,” Bucky shakes his head and chuckles. 

“You’re just now figuring out Stark’s master plan?” You kiddingly scoffed as Bucky rolled his eyes at you. “Ya know, you really could use a break.” 

“I got all the time in the world to have a break.” 

“Oh yeah? When?” You challenged him. 

“When I’m dead,” Bucky winked at you before walking off to his room, announcing that he was going to take shower. 

“Oh before I go, dinner later?” 

“Depends will you be sitting with me or sitting from afar like the last couple nights?” You kid with him and he rolled his eyes. 

“You’re a real pain in my ass, ya know that?” 

“Hey, someone’s gotta be,” you winked and Bucky turned away fast, mainly to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks.

“See ya later,” Bucky called out to you. 

—

Debating on whether or not was a good time to pull yourself away from the amazing view of the ocean, you had to sadly leave your peaceful space on the balcon and go meet Bucky for dinner. A quick shower and a few shimmies into the beautiful gown Natasha lent you later, you were on your way to dinner. 

Tony gave his team nothing but the best. From top of the line technology and the best clothes money could buy, he made sure that you and Bucky got a luxurious treatment while on this vacation. This included dinner at the most refined restaurant on the ship’s deck. It was so exclusive that you needed to book your reservation there first before you booked your tickets for the cruise. Of course, Tony being Tony, and your title as an Avenger, made it easy for the restaurant to put your names down in their coveted black book of mile long reservations. 

Now here you are, standing a little ways from the hostess desk waiting for your beloved co-worker. While you waited you took in the beautiful scenery of the restaurant. So classy and elegant you felt out of place even if you had on an expensive gown. You were so caught up in the extravagance that you didn’t notice a hand at the small of your back. 

“You clean up nice,” Bucky stood next to you in a suit and tie. He had recently cut his hair before the trip, but that didn’t stop him from throwing in a little gel. 

“I could same the same for you too. New product?” The two of you made small talk as Bucky gave Tony’s name for reservation. 

Unbeknownst to the two of you, the hostess eyed both and you up and down and warily took you to your table. 

—

Dinner was fantastic. Like the restaurant’s atmosphere the food also had an elegant taste to it. The wait staff was equally classy and charming to all the patrons too. You and Bucky were sipping on expensive wine and dining on fine desserts until a waiter, not yours, approached you. 

“Did we enjoy everything so far?” Bucky looked at the man confused. 

“Yeah, yeah everything was great thank you,” being the polite person you are you gave the waiter a smile. 

“Well we love hearing that customers, let alone two Avengers, are enjoying the establishment. Anyways, I was sent to come tell you that the captain has requested your presence at his table overlooking the sea. A little birdie told me you two enjoy quite a view,” Bucky was on guard at all times during this exchange. It’s not that he didn’t trust the waiter it was that he wondered why their waiter wasn’t getting them. 

“Sounds good to me. C’mon Buck let’s go,” you stood up and began to follow the waiter. Bucky reluctantly got up and pulled your arm so that you were walking at his pace. 

“Don’t you think it’s a little fishy that right after we get done eating the captain wants to see us?”

“Oh Bucky, who cares! Maybe he didn’t want to interrupt us or something,” Bucky was always a paranoid person. 

“I just got a bad feeling about this that’s all,” you giggled and shook your head in attempt to brush off Bucky and not appear rude towards the waiter. 

“And here we are! Captain Richards will be out momentarily,” and just like that the waiter was gone leaving you and Bucky to your own devices. 

Not long after Captain Richards appeared. He offered you both a glass of wine and you both drank. Bucky was a little hesitant but decided to drink after you made a move to your second glass. Soon, one glass turned into almost half a bottle of expensive wine gone. You were swimming and Bucky was grinning like a mad man. 

“Sergeant, would you mind fetching me and this beautiful young lady another bottle? I’d get up but I don’t have your tolerance and can barely walk a straight line,” Bucky was happy to oblige and went to Richards quarters. 

“So when will you be leaving us Ms. Avenger?” Richards asks you. 

“Bucky and I dock in two days in Mexico. We were planning on flying back to New York,” you slowly got up and ran over to the balcony. Your drunken state was taking in the dark misty waters. 

“Well we will be missing you greatly Miss,” Richards has his hand on your back, lightly pressing you into the railing. “It’ll be such a shame that no one will be seeing you anymore, around the decks I mean,” you eyed the older man up and down. What did he just say?

“It’s such a shame, I do like you and your little partner but in order for us to continue our plans we can’t let the law, let alone a group of super freaks, ruin it,” with a harsh shove your body was lurched off the balcony. 

Your reflexes hit fast and you snapped out of your inebriated state. Last second you cling onto the very last bar of the balcony. Your heels were knock off and sunk into the water. 

“Little shit c’mere,” Richards growled as he stomped his heavy boot on your fingers. He crushed down so hard and you almost didn’t budge but your grip was weakening. He squished and scraped both hands successfully off the bar and you fell into the ocean. 

“Y/N? Captain? Is everything alright,” Bucky emerged from the captains quarters with a new bottle of wine. 

“Oh Sergeant, please help! Your comrade just flung herself overboard!” RIchard’s yelled. 

“What! Oh fuck, Stark’s gonna kill me! Hang on I’m coming! You gotta stop the boat. Alert the coast guard,” Bucky struggled to free himself of both shoes. He made is way over the balcony and plunged in to find you. 

“Will do Sergeant,” Richards grinned evilly when he heard a solid plunk in the water. “Will do.” The captain chuckled darkly before pulling up a com on his wrist, “the threats have been eliminated. Hail Hydra.”

—

13 hours missing

You awoke with a gasp. It felt like air had hit your lungs for the first time in ages. Your body was wet and the gown was sticking all over you, not to mention the sand in unwanted places. You barely had a chance to register your surroundings. 

“Bucky? Bucky!? Bucky are you here?!” You finally stood up, legs wobbling a little, and you tried to find your super human friend. 

“Oh fuck, Bucky are you okay?” After walking down a long strip of beach you found him. His face was planted in the sand and his shoes were long gone. He seemed like he was breathing but still unconscious. 

“BUCKY WAKE UP,” You yelled and pushed Bucky with all your might to turn him over. Bucky, much like you, awoke with a gasp and claimed as much fresh air as he could. 

“What? Huh, where are we? Y/N?! Oh my god, you’re okay?!” Bucky was a babbling mess and couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Richards threw me off the boat!”

“Threw you? He told me you got drunk and fell over! That fucking bastard!” 

Bucky began to explain how he jumped in after you and grabbed you. He saw the boat wasn’t stop so he tried his best to swim after it. Not long after he grew tired and the waves were picking up. Low and behold here you both are, trapped on a deserted island. 

“Fuck,” you breathed out. 

“We are so fucked,” after a while and sitting around and doing nothing you and Bucky decided to make some type of shelter. 

“You think they’ll find us?” You questioned. 

“They have to. They’ll know somethings up when we don’t come back,” Bucky finished putting together a leaf type hut and was now getting wood for a fire. 

“What are we going to do?” 

“There’s nothing to do. We gotta wait it out and hope they’ll come looking for us,” Bucky sighed and hauled over some wood from fallen tree branches. 

You could only hope Tony and the team would come looking for you. Neither you or Bucky had an idea of how long you’ve been on the island. Clearly not long enough that neither of your starved, but still there was no matter is finding out when someone would rescue you. 

—

One week missing

“Buckyyyyyyy,” you groaned irritably, “I’m so hot and so hungryyyy.”

It had been over one week since you both fell overboard. No one had come to rescue you yet  and your were becoming impatient. 

“I told you that if you’re so hot to rip that fucking dress and make it shorter,” Bucky grumbled. 

Bucky had been done with your shit by now. The days and nights were so unbearably hot that you both were losing your minds. Bucky had ripped up his suit into shorts a wore a t-shirt under his suit. It wasn’t much but it had to do. 

“But I can’t! Natasha will kill me if I rip her dress,” you whined for the millionth time. 

“The heat’s gonna kill you before she does,” you gasped at Bucky’s rude comment. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t say we’re gonna die out here!” 

“I’m not gonna die but you will if you don’t rip the fuck dress,” Bucky’s voice grew louder. You’d be damned if you had to rip this dress. 

“Buckyyy,” you whined his name again. 

“WHAT!” Bucky yelled in irritation causing you to shift back from where you were sitting. 

“I’m hot,” you really were driving him and yourself stir crazy. 

“I can’t fucking stand this shit. C’mere,” Bucky lunges towards you and you tried to scramble away. He was fast and grabbed your ankle. 

“Aww you’re hot sweetheart? Lemme fix that,” he grabbed the gown at the bottom and tore a big slit. It was torn all the way up your thigh. It showed everything and nothing at the same time. 

You tried to kick him off but he worked too fast. Bucky made his way towards the middle of the dress and ripped right below where your breasts were. He easily made the expensive gown a shitty slit skirt and a crop top. Sure, it felt a little cooler, but now you almost felt naked in front of your co-worker. 

“The next time I hear you complaining I won’t hesitate to rip that outfit to shreds,” you choked back a gasp as Bucky got up and made his way to get more firewood. You almost missed the hint of lust in his eyes

—

Two weeks missing 

Your body was dirty, your stomach barely filled, and damn it it was getting more and more hot as the seconds ticked away. You starts to lose hope that anyone would come looking for you and Bucky. Speaking of, Bucky was becoming more and more irritated with each passing day. 

His words to you were clipped responses or inaudible grunts. You were almost afraid to ask him a question in fear that he would kill you. Of course he wouldn’t, but you didn’t want to hear him yelling at you anymore. 

Night had fallen and the bugs started to come out. Icky mosquitos leaving scratchy bite marks all over both your skin. Bucky would slap a few on himself every so often, but you kept scratching away. 

“Stop doing that,” Bucky spoke as you dig your too long nails into your skin, “you’re gonna bleed from all that scratching.”

“I can’t, it’s so itchy. How am I suppose to get them to stop?”

“There’s a hot spring a little ways into the woods, I can show you and you can shower off,” he tried to be nice, but his irritably was peaking through. 

“Ew gross, you bathed in there too,” you didn’t want to get naked on this island, hell with how Bucky’s been acting who knows what he might do if he saw you naked. 

“So I’m gross now? After all I’ve been doing for you? You think I’m gross,” Bucky’s eyes narrowed in on you. 

“It’s just, you used that spring too, so isn’t that like contaminated?” You tried your best to put the words nicely but Bucky wasn’t having it. 

Bucky chuckled, “I can’t believe this. I gave us a shelter, I’ve been busting my ass to get you food, fuck I even dived into the fucking ocean to save your ass. And you,” he seethed, “you—you are so fucking ungrateful and I’ve just about HAD IT!” 

You froze in your spot as Bucky yelled at you. Tears were brimming your eyes as you tried not to let them fall. He was right, you have been acting a little bratty, but you chalked it up to blame on minimal food and heat distress. 

A tear spilled from your eye and you looked down to wipe it away. The last thing you wanted was for Bucky to see you cry. What you didn’t realize, was that Bucky made his way over to with hatred in his eyes. 

In one swift motion, Bucky grabbed you by your knotty hair and positioned you across his lap. Your eyes widened as you began to kick and push yourself away. You only stopped when Bucky laid a smack on your ass. 

“Stop moving,” Bucky spanked you again. 

“I’ve been nothing but kind to you and this is how I get treated,” *smack*, “given you shelter,”  *smack*, “food,”  *smack*, “would it be too hard to get a simple THANK,”  *smack*, “YOU,”  *smack*. 

Bucky assaulted your bottom five more times before he heard you crying. He pushing you off of him and you laid face down in the sand. He brushed off your cries and walked past you. 

“C’mon let’s get to bed. If I so much as hear a sniffle your ass will be redder than a sun burn,” Bucky sauntered into the hut leaving you in the sand to collect yourself. 

—

Three weeks missing 

You avoided Bucky like the plague. The only time you would see him was when you went to bed. He left you your food for the day but you ate it long after he went to sleep. It was a good system, for you at least. All that was on your mind was forming a plan out of here. 

The day was no hotter than the last, if not more. You ended up tearing off more of the gown and made a short skirt for yourself. The only problem was the little slit but you didn’t care. It’s not like anybody was going to be looking, or touching there, anyways. 

That’s another thing you were mad about. Almost a month since you got stranded and you were feeling deprived of touch. You wouldn’t dare touch yourself with Bucky sleeping next to you, and sadly your discreet toy was hidden away in your suitcase. It was probably tossed overboard so the ship wouldn’t be held responsible.

You gnawed at the tiny wet sensation between your legs. You wouldn’t be lying if Bucky’s half naked form wasn’t turning you on. Oh, and getting spanked had you withering a little during the nights. You longed to find some sexy guy on the cruise that would fuck your brains out. Sure, Bucky isn’t ugly, but he is your co-worker and you don’t like mixing business and pleasure. 

“FUCK, Y/N!” You heard a scream coming from the woods. 

“Y/N, HELP ME PLEASE!” You ran towards where the screams were coming from. 

You saw Bucky stumble out of the woods. His shirt was off and only a pair of boxers on. Bucky was grabbing his thigh which was dripping blood. 

“Oh my god, Bucky what happened!” 

“I was bathing in the fucking hot spring and when I got out this stupid fucking snake fucking bit my fucking thigh,” he was curing up a storm and clenching his jaw hard. 

“Was it poisonous?” 

“Y/N, I don’t know, but if it is then you need to suck the poison out,” Bucky started to lose his balance. You held him up but he kept sinking down. 

“Please, I’m sorry, help me,” Bucky has tears in his eyes and was shaking. 

“Okay, okay I’ll help you,” you knelt down to where to bite was and put your lips to his thigh. 

Bucky gasped as you lightly started to suck. Once you thought you had a good amount you spit it off to the side. You put your lips back and sucked vigorously. Bucky felt himself growing hard and tried to maintain it. 

You weren’t paying much attention to the main above you. He was tending up and you had minimal time get as much poison out of him, depending if he had any or not. You heard Bucky gasping above you but ignored him. He loosened up a bit and put his hand in your hair. He stroked it a little as you tried to pull away to spit more poison out. Then, he stopped you. 

“That’s enough, baby. I think you got it,” you were still faced with his thigh until you slowly began to look up. He was hard. Very hard. His boxers had a tiny wet spot on this and he was trying to contain himself. 

“I-I could go if you-“

“No,” Bucky finally looked down at you, “your good with your mouth aren’t you, sweetheart?” 

You blushed furiously and looked away. Bucky’s fingers tilted your chin up towards him. 

“Don’t be shy now,” he paused, “fuck I really wanna kiss you,” Bucky licked his lips and eyes you up and down. 

“Then why don’t you?” Your voice spoke before your brain could process anything. 

“Come down here sweetheart,” your body was vibrating with ecstasy and excitement. 

You slowly crawled up to him and planted your lower body in between the leg that wasn’t bitten. You laid on top of him and stared at him for a moment. The moment lasted to long for Bucky’s liking and he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you forward. 

Your lips met with a crash. The kiss was opened mouthed and sloppy. The exposed parts of your warm bodies was enough to send a pool into your panties. Bucky moaned deeply into the kiss. He tried pulling you even closer.

Your mind was swirling around in lustful thoughts. It almost didn’t register to you the way you ground down on his thigh. You both moaned. Bucky urged you on with his hand firmly on the small of your back. 

You started to grind harder and slower wanting to savor it all. Bucky finally broke the miss and you both gasped for air. You kept your forehead pressed against his. 

“Baby, let me touch you,” he rasped out. 

“B-but it feels s’good,” you moaned getting wetter by the second. 

“I’ll make it feel even better, princess.”

You begrudgingly rolled on to your back beside Bucky. Bucky careful got on his side and looked you up and down. He groaned and licked his lips taking you in. Slowly he removed your top. 

“Think you can get the rest off for me, honey?” You shook your head and rapidly pulled off the mini skirt and your panties. 

Bucky was hard as a rock and began to slowly palm himself through his boxers. You removed his hand and palmed him yourself. Bucky trialed a hand down your body all the way to your aching pussy. 

“So wet, did I make you this wet, honey?” You bit your lip and shook your head. You began palming him faster. 

“As much as I enjoy this I think he would like skin to skin contact,” you eyes widened more as Bucky began to circle your sweet little nub. 

You dipped your hand under his boxers. He was big, really fucking big, and he was leaking from the tip. You started to stroke him slowly and firmly. Bucky made quick work and started rubbing around your mound. 

He dipped a finger in and you gasped loudly. Bucky smirked and began his work. Quick thrusts in and out making the most beautiful squelching sounds you both ever heard of. The stimulation was setting you into overdrive as your stroked him faster. 

 “Princess,” you moaned out, “you’re soaking daddy’s fingers,” Bucky stopped all movement and looked up at you. You seemed unfazed and still withering in pleasure. Of course, you thought that by stopping movement he wanted a response, what you didn’t know was that he had just outed himself and his secret kink. 

“M’sorry daddy. I-I just like it so much,” little whimpers left your throat as you thrusted yourself on his fingers. Bucky was shocked that you responded but had no intentions of stopping you from fucking yourself on his fingers. 

“It’s okay baby, daddy likes it so much too,” Bucky picked you his motioned as a fast pace. 

You stopped stroking him due to the amount of pleasure you were receiving. He was like a jack rabbit thumping in and out of you. He then pulled his finger out of you completely. His big palm rubbed you all over. From clit to pussy you were drenched in your own arousal. 

“Gotta get you wet, gotta get you ready for daddy’s thick cock,” Bucky was a madman on a mission.

Your orgasm hit you like a bullet. You arched your back and screamed Bucky’s name. By the time you came down from your high your pretty sure your soul left your body. 

“Don’t think we are done just yet, princess.” 

—

Four weeks missing 

“FUCK, DADDY!” You screamed out as Bucky fucked you harshly against the tree. 

Ever since the snake bite incident, you and Bucky has been non stop fucking. Turns out you both needed to burn off that heat distress and having sex repeatedly was the way to do it. 

Morning, noon, and night Bucky had you on top of, under, ass up, mouth on, and sometimes back to, at all times. His cock became your new favorite seat. You two wouldn’t go anywhere without each other. Even while you were eating or bathing his cock stayed planted in you at all times. The days were hot but the night got cool after some intensive “exercise”. 

Now here you are, bare naked up against a tree getting pounded by your co-worker. Or were you technically lovers now? Doesn’t matter, all that matters is you cumming. 

“C’mon baby, let it out. Let it all out for daddy, baby,” after that day Bucky wouldn’t be Bucky anymore. You were always princess, honey, sweetheart, or baby. Bucky would always be daddy. 

You did slip up your third time fucking the first night by calling him Bucky. He growled and pulled out of you and spanked you till your ass was cherry red. You liked it and he liked it. It was like the pleasure you’ve both been dreaming of. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna ugh I’m gonna fucking explode in this pussy, honey. Would you like that? This little pussy fucking flooded in my cum. Say it baby, say you want my cum,” Bucky then laid you back on a giant rock and fucked you harder. 

“Daddy I want your cum. I want your cum in me and I want it all over me. Fuck daddy please please PLEASE!” You screamed out as you came again. 

Bucky moaned as he released into you. Give him five more minutes and he’ll be ready to go again. He was determined to make you body full of his cum. 

“Turn around baby, let’s see that gorgeous ass.”

—

“There,” Steve shouted over the radar.

“What? Did you find something?” Wanda ran over to where Steve was sitting. 

“I think I gotta hit on Bucky’s signal! Maybe Y/N is there with him?” Steve says. 

“We can only hope. Thank god Tony put that tracker in Bucky’s arm. We would’ve never found them,” Wanda says looking at the radar. 

“Hey if you want I can get a camera down there to see if they are there. Better we know now and not just see a random metal arm sticking out of the sand,” Wanda and Steve shot Clint a death glare. 

“Geez tough room. Okay sending a camera down,” Clint maneuvers the little drone camera to where Bucky’s signal is pinging from. 

Slowly the camera makes its way through the beachy landscape and into the wooded area of the island. There, the drone picks up two blurry figures. 

“Hey guys, I think I got something,” Clint calls Steve and Wanda over. 

“Is it them?”

“Maybe it’s a bear?” 

“Clint there are no bears on an island.” 

“Are they- are they naked?” Wanda’s eyes widen as the picture got clearer. 

“OH MY GOD MY EYES!” 

[maria-scribbles]

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part five

summary: in the aftermath of hurricane agatha, the pogues are thrown into a mess none of them are ready to deal with. things that don’t exactly top sailor’s ‘fun things to do this summer’ list: surfing in the middle of a hurricane, getting punched in the face by a stupid kook, and stumbling upon a mystery that turns her and her friends into the damn scooby gang. when she said she wanted an exciting summer, she should’ve been more specific. 🙃

word count: 8.1k+ (it just keeps getting longer and longer 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings n stuff: mentions of abuse/neglect/gambling addiction, child abandonment, anxiety, self-worth issues, jj being both soft af and hot for his best friend, weed usage, underage drinking, unresolved sexual tension, sailor being thirsty, swearing, guns, fighting, blood, that one trope where two characters only call each other by their nicknames/last names until they don’t because of ~reasons~ that makes me lose my shit every time (like a lot of the obx fandom, i also headcanon that jj stands for jesse james), references to the three stooges (jj=moe, pope=larry, and john b=curly and that’s a fact lmao), to all the boys i've loved before, avengers infinity war, and david attenborough, and a line heavily inspired/influenced by taylor swift's "dress" (a song that happens to be on the playlist for this series)

a/n: we’re finally entering canon territory, y’all (with a few tweaks, of course!) but i’m determined not to make this a rehash/retelling word for word of the show ‘cause that’s just no fun, so expect smaller pieces (vignettes, i guess?) of storytelling as i expand on canon with sailor and the rest of the pogues. think of it like a mixtape of sorts, but with words instead of music if that makes sense lol. this part originally covered episodes one and two but i wrote so much that i had to split it, so we're just covering most of episode one for now (i still can't even believe how much shit actually goes down in the pilot lol). i was veryyyy excited to write the kegger at the boneyard 'cause some ~juicy~ stuff happens there lol. fun fact: the title of this part is a term used by surfers to refer to getting up at the ass crack of dawn to hit the waves. as always, this is unbetaed so any mistakes are mine. enjoy! 

gif credit to @jj-maybnks​ 

~Masterlist~

part five: dawn patrol 

The next morning, Hurricane Agatha hits the island with all the force of a knockout punch; the sound of rain pounding against the roof echoes impossibly loud throughout the Chateau but Sailor’s bewildered shriek is even louder.

“You’re gonna what the what?!”

John B shrugs as the stunned redhead, lounging on the couch, looks away from watching the storm and fixes him with a wide-eyed stare.

“I’m gonna surf the surge.”

“Hell yeah, bro!” JJ yells from his spot as her footrest, punching his fist in the air and she sends him an exasperated look, both at his enthusiastic encouragement of John B’s downright moronic idea and the fact that she already misses the feeling of his thumb drawing circles on her bare ankle.

“Are you two insane?”

“Possibly.” John B states, grinning when JJ follows that up with, “Absolutely.” The blond boy pushes Sailor’s legs off his lap as he stands which earns him another displeased scowl from the redhead. “Come on, Sail. Live a little.”

“Oh, I’ll live alright, but you idiots won’t,” She takes his offered hand, letting him pull her to her feet and then down the hall after John B as she continues, “because this is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had.”

“See, this is why we keep you around,” He replies, laughing when she dodges his attempt to ruffle her hair and dashes forward to beat him to the spare room. “We do something stupid, you and Kie read us the riot act. It’s tradition.”

Sailor grabs her long-sleeved rash vest -if she’s going to sit on the beach to keep an eye on these fools in the middle of a damn hurricane, at least she’ll wear something that offers a little bit of warmth- and heads to the bathroom to change. “Yeah, and then I’m there to patch you up when you inevitably hurt yourselves.”

“Can’t help that you have that healing touch.” His cheeky response floats through the closed door and she catches herself smiling -wide and just a little bit sappy- in the mirror.

After a quick detour to pick up Pope, who’s already drenched from sneaking out his window, the pogues (sans Kiara who never answered John B’s text in the group chat and, knowing her parents, was probably on hurricane lockdown) head to the beach, where the rugged gray surf hammers against the shore with unrelenting brutality. Sailor trails behind the others as they grab their boards and make a break for the water, blatantly ignoring the barriers that read ‘beach closed’ in large, impossible to miss letters. A few hundred feet down the coast, she can barely make out The Sandbar all boarded up for the storm and she thinks of her mother, wondering if she's riding it out inside or at home; either way Carmen's all alone and Sailor's stomach twists with guilt, both for letting her phone battery die so she didn't have to answer her calls and for leaving in the first place, even though it was the right thing to do for her damn sanity.

“These signs are here for a reason, guys!” She calls over the howling wind, squinting through the rain at the rough waves with her hands tapping uneasily against her thighs. Watching John B run into the ocean with reckless abandon (Pope following with a little more caution, thankfully) immediately puts her anxiety on edge so she sits down heavily on the wet sand, wrapping her arms around the knees pulled to her chest and looks up at the blond boy who stayed behind. “Aren’t you gonna join the other stooges?”

JJ shrugs at her question, glancing out toward their friends before dropping his board to the ground and taking a seat behind the trembling girl, his chest to her back. “This one can’t just leave you hanging out here all alone, lookin’ all sad and shit. It’s kind of pathetic.”

“Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, J.” She smirks and scoots back in the sand, lips curling into a full-fledged smile when he lifts his arms to drape them over her shoulders. As he tucks her securely against his front, the warmth of his body helps ward off the biting chill of the rain, and so does the fact that he knows her so well, that he knows this is exactly what she needs to help calm the panicking butterflies in her stomach.

He leans close, lips brushing against the shell of her ear when he whispers his next words like a secret, low and just for her even when there’s no one around to hear them. “Trust me, Sail, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

She suddenly finds those butterflies in her stomach fluttering for a whole different reason.

-

The Chateau sits in complete darkness, the power having been knocked out since they returned from dropping Pope off at his house that afternoon. Sailor thinks it’s about ten at night as she lies on her back on the mattress of the sleeper sofa, listening to the wind rip through the trees outside with Binx curled up at her feet. The spare room was way too hot without a working fan, even after she braided her hair off to the side and changed into a crop top and shorts, so she and JJ had returned to the living room where it was cooler, if only by a little bit.

John B has already retreated to his room for the night; he’d been acting quieter than usual since their little adventure at the beach but between a lantern-lit dinner of semi-stale cereal and passing a joint around, she never got the chance to ask if he was okay before he made his escape. JJ lies beside her with his limbs all askew and from the slow rise and fall of his bare chest she’s 99% sure he’s out like a light until, out of the blue, he mutters into the stagnant air, “Can’t keep your eyes off me, huh?”

She blinks heavily -that weed must’ve hit her harder than she thought because she hadn’t even realized she’d been staring- when he lazily turns his head to stare back, a halcyon grin on his face and in the dark, his pupils are blown so wide she can barely see the blue of his irises. Her hand itches with a longing to sweep that one stubborn strand of hair away from his forehead but instead she blindly slides it to the left until she finds his and holds on tight; his fingers automatically lace with hers even as the space between his eyebrows furrows and the smile falls from his lips.

“Sail?”

“I don’t think my dad’s ever coming back.” The redhead’s mouth blurts before her brain can catch up, heavy words lingering like a storm cloud ready to downpour. The thought had been weighing on her heart for a while now, from when she’d first suspected it two months ago, and it feels bittersweet to finally admit it out loud, even when she hadn’t planned doing it.

Her bedmate is silent for a long time as he looks at her through the shadows and she focuses on the touch of his palm against hers instead of the awful mounting pressure behind her eyes -hadn’t she promised herself she was done crying over her dad?- until he asks quietly, “Why? I mean, good riddance 'cause he's kind of the worst, but why?"

“A feeling,” She murmurs around the sudden lump in her throat, biting the inside of her lip hard enough that she tastes the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. “He...he usually comes back after a month or two but this time it’s been almost five.” A bitter laugh escapes from her chest and she shakes her head. “I guess he finally decided he’s done dealing with my worthless ass.”

JJ’s eyes flash like lightning as he rolls over to face her, the hand not entwined with hers reaching up to cup her cheek. “Sail, shut up. Don’t you dare say that.”

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s true,” She says sharply, words acerbic and biting and full of a self-hatred that’s been poisoning her heart ever since she was old enough -eight and far, far too young- to discern the way her dad’s love for her was fickle at best, non-existent at worst. “I could’ve been a better daughter- a perfect daughter- and he might still be here and my mom wouldn't hate me. I should’ve tried harder-”

“Jesus Christ, Sailor!” He interrupts, calloused yet gentle thumb wiping away the tears she just now registers sliding down her cheeks and the shock of hearing her full name come from his mouth makes the rest of her vitriolic thoughts fly out the window. “Do you even hear yourself right now?”

The image of him blurs through the darkness in shades of black and she closes her eyes, jaw clenched in an attempt to quell the tremble of her lip as he goes on in his low, soft voice, “You should’ve tried harder to do what, huh? What could you have possibly done better?”

She’s quiet for a long time, so long that her tears run dry and all that remains is smeared salt on her skin because she doesn’t have an answer. What could she have done? That terrible thought in her mind rears it’s ugly head again, the one that tells her she’s not good enough, that everything’s her fault because she doesn’t do enough, but when she asks it what more she can do, there’s no reply. There never is.

“Hey, look at me.” She hears the rustling of sheets and feels his fingers slip from hers before they come to rest on her cheek, both hands now cradling her face; she opens her eyes to find him hovering over her and the sheer lack of distance between them makes her heart skip a beat. “You...”

“What about me?” Her voice cracks as she speaks and in a mirror of her from earlier, JJ shakes his head, causing that stubborn strand of hair to once again fall into his eyes.

“I wish you’d see yourself the way I do.”

Her breath catches in her throat. “And how do you see me?”

“Fucking amazing.” He says simply and in the dark, she can barely see the flush slowly starting to creep up his neck. “Smart, brave, and loyal as hell. A beautiful badass who doesn’t take shit from anybody. A girl who listens when someone needs to be heard.”

The redhead stares up at him with wide green eyes as he goes on and on, listing all these wonderful little things that her traitorous mind has a hard time processing, let alone believing; he really thinks about her like this? “You care so damn much,” “You’re kind but not afraid speak out,” “You’re the one I trust the most.”

Her hand slowly releases its tight grip on the sheets and slides up his bare arm, feeling the heat of his skin under her palm as she touches his face, not trusting herself to speak because she’s so afraid of saying something dumb or stupid and ruining everything ('like I always do,' her mind echoes).

“You’re my best friend, Sailor, and yeah, you’re not perfect. You drink and you smoke weed and you don’t get straight As in school but fuck, you’re real and so not worthless.” He says each word with such conviction that its impossible not to believe him, as much as her brain screams at her not to. “And I want you to know that what your parents think of you doesn't matter at all, got it?"

Without warning, she flings her arms around his neck and JJ loses his balance, falling onto her with a soft oof of surprise but Sailor doesn’t even feel the extra weight as she rests her face against his shoulder and finally finds her voice. “Thank you.”

He takes her with him when he rolls onto his side, arms wrapped tight around her waist and nose buried in her messy braid. “Just...trying to do the right thing, I guess. For once.”

She pulls back at his words, then leans forward and slowly presses her lips to his flushed cheek, just missing the corner of his mouth. She lets them linger for a beat longer than necessary before leaning back -not too far, just enough- and looking him in the eye. “Thank you, Jesse.”

He usually hates being called by his first name (she found that out pretty quickly into their friendship, “never call me Jesse” being one of the first things he ever said to her) but he just looks at her with a soft, endearing smile on his face as he leans back onto the bed, once again bringing her with him. “Promise me something, Sail?”

She glances up at him from his shoulder and meets his eyes. “Yeah?”

His fingers tuck an escaped red curl behind her ear. “Just...be you. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.”

She wishes it were that easy, that she could just step inside her mind and flip a switch and she could stop all those thoughts that’ve plagued her for years but it’s not. It’s gonna take time -time and a lot of patience and maybe even a miracle- but damn it, she’s gonna give it her all, not just for herself but for him and the rest of the pogues, too, the best friends she's ever had, so she nods and settles back down at his side. “I’ll try my best, J.”

“I know you will.”

-

"Sail, you're the best swimmer out of all of us. Think you can dive down there and check it out?"

The redhead peers over the edge of the HMS Pogue and into the water, where the murky shape of the sunken Grady-White sits thirty feet down on the bottom of the marsh, then nods at the rest of the pogues, an excited grin on her face.

"No problem," She answers John B, hopping up onto the very tip of the boat's bow with practiced ease before diving headfirst into the water to JJ's yell of "diver down!" It's dirtier than usual because of the hurricane but she doesn't let that stop her as she swims down and down until she reaches the top of the boat and pulls herself the rest of the way onto the deck, carefully scanning the area for...fuck. Honestly, she's got absolutely no clue what she's looking for but she assumes she'll know when she sees it.

'It' turns out to be a motel key, resting all alone on the floor by the steering wheel and she quickly reaches out to snatch it, sliding the silver key ring around her finger securely. When she pushes off toward the surface, she leaves the ghostly Grady-White behind with more questions than answers. 

The rest of her friends are lined up in a row along the boat's railing, all staring at her with near identical expressions of anticipation as she breaks through the water and holds the key aloft with a triumphant smile.

"The Summer Winds Motel called, they want their key back!"

-

A little later that evening, Sailor would really regret finding that damn key but right now, she's having a great time dancing at the Boneyard with Kiara at the traditional post-hurricane kegger, second refill of beer in hand, spiked with Fireball from the flask tucked in her back pocket. To her, dancing's a lot like surfing -steady feet, swiveling hips, snapping shoulders- and she thinks that might be the reason she's so bad at it, anticipating the fluidity of water instead of the solidness of dry land. Or it could be that she just doesn't have rhythm when she's a little buzzed. That works, too.

"Ow, Sail!" Kiara winces as the redhead steps on her foot again, rolling her eyes fondly when she throws her head back with a loud, tipsy giggle.

"My bad, Kie!" She twirls in the sand, hair dancing around her shoulders like fire, and finds herself spinning right into a herd of dancing tourons, all too drunk to care that she's spilling her beer all over their feet. Large, olive-skinned hands grab her waist to spin her again and she laughs, smiling over her shoulder at a cute dark-haired touron as he slides one palm over to settle against the bare skin of her lower back. She pushes one hand on his shoulder with just enough resistance that he doesn't get too close into her personal space as he leans in to speak in a low Southern drawl, brown eyes turned a pretty bronze in the glow of the nearby bonfire.

"This probably isn't the best thing to say to a beautiful girl but you kind of dance like a giraffe."

Sailor bursts out laughing at that. "Hey, I think giraffes are very elegant creatures so I'll take that as a compliment!" 

The boy grins and she smiles, too, letting him take her free hand and pull her into the throng of dancing bodies. He's almost as bad a dancer as she is but he's fun to talk to and together they gleefully show off their worst moves until their feet hurt -she's lost count of how many times she stepped on his toes- and her solo cup is empty. "Come on," She says and this time, she's the one to grab his hand and lead him over to the closest keg, where John B's dishing out beer with an expert flourish.

"'Sup, Sail," He lifts his chin in greeting as he fills her cup, smirking when she immediately pulls out her flask and adds a long pour of Fireball on top. "Who's your friend?"

"JB, this is Adam, he's visiting from Tennessee. Adam, meet John B, one of my best friends and a total moron," She makes quick introductions, smiling into her drink as he scowls and playfully sprays some beer at her feet before filling another cup and holding it out to the other boy with a jab at her expense.

"Be careful around her, man. She's a handful." 

The touron accepts the drink with a shrug and a quick wink in her direction. "Good thing I happen to like 'em a little crazy."

Ugh. More than a little miffed at that, she rolls her eyes and takes a long sip of beer to hide her annoyance when Adam laughs and slings his arm around her shoulders. Calling her a giraffe was actually kind of cute in a very weird, endearing way but he instantly lost whatever points he had with her the second that 'c' word came out of his pretty mouth. She glances around the Boneyard while the boys start talking about surfing (she scoffs to herself, what does a farm kid from Tennessee know about that?), scanning the crowd for the rest of her friends and a chance to ditch him. Kiara's sitting on a big piece of driftwood, chatting up a stunning, deeply tan girl with glossy black hair -she waves when their eyes meet and shoots Sailor a cheeky grin before returning to her conversation- while the ever awkward Pope seems to be stuck in the middle of one of his rambles about autopsies as he stands around the fire, the willowy blonde beside him looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. She'd deliberately lost track of JJ a while ago, after she watched him getting a little too close to a tiny brunette, his hand low on her back as she passed him a drink and ran her fingers up his bare arm, coaxing that killer smile of his onto his face (that girl may have gotten his smile but Sailor got his eyes and they watched her until she pointedly turned away).

Honestly, she's a bit -okay, a lot- peeved. Here she is, thinking that they're the closest they've ever been before (they've always been close, ever since that day in sixth grade, but this is a whole different kind of close), and just when she feels like she may finally be ready to admit some things, some feelings, he's off doing who knows what with another girl; to be fair, she's off with another guy that she'd, until a minute ago, fully planned on kissing, but that's only because of him! Him and some weird need she has to keep him looking at her, to make him jealous -she shakes her head and takes another swig of her whiskey-spiked beer. Nope, nope, not gonna think about that. 

Poor Pope looks like he's really struggling so Sailor pushes all thoughts of her blond best friend from her mind and goes to rescue him, ducking out from under Adam's sweaty arm and walking away without a backwards glance, ignoring the confusion in his voice as he calls her name. She pushes through the crowd to her friend and steps right in front of the girl he's trying to talk to, grabbing his hand with her free one.

"Come dance with me?"

The smile of pure relief that breaks out over his face makes her own widen as he lets her pull him back through the mass of bodies to a less-crowded part of the make-shift dance floor, the tension bleeding out of his hunched shoulders with every step.

"You're an angel, Sailor." 

She laughs and wraps her arm around his shoulders, leading him in a carefree twirl across the cool sand. "Tell me something I don't know."

Like a leaf caught up in a whirlwind, he's helpless to resist her infectious joy as they dance, grinning like fools and poking fun at each other; for a while, the redhead tries to forget about stupid, clueless boys and focuses on Pope who, while still a clueless boy, doesn't expect anything from her but pure, unconditional friendship that she's all too willing to give (although she did have a teensy little crush on him when they first became friends, she got over it pretty fast the second he started talking about the bodily functions of dead bodies in explicit detail). She shares her drink with him, giggling at the way his face morphs from curiosity to disgust to delight at the taste of her cinnamon beer concoction and lets him down the rest while she drinks straight from the flask that she pulls from her back pocket. 

"You've got a shadow." Pope says, slightly nodding his chin over her shoulder and she takes his hand again, slowly spinning herself under his arm to take a quick glance, rolling her eyes when she spots Adam staring at her from the edge of the crowd. "You know him?"

"Unfortunately. Thought he was cute, then he called me crazy." She tucks the whiskey away with a shrug at her friend's sympathetic wince, then steps closer to him and raises a conspiratorial eyebrow. "Wanna help me tell him to take a long walk off a short cliff?"

"Uh-"

"I think I can help with that," A familiar voice cuts off Pope's reply as JJ suddenly appears at her side, slipping his hand into her back pocket to spin her right into the circle of his arms before he plucks the flask from the other and takes a big sip in one smooth kinda sexy move. "Straight Fireball? Damn, Sail."

The redhead carefully schools her features into a blank mask but her body has other ideas, one hand instantly settling on his chest like it's second nature and her face flushing from more than just the alcohol as she casually replies, "You know I like things a little spicy." Completely aware of the way he's watching her every move, she snatches the whiskey back and downs the little bit that's left, trying and failing to ignore the thrill that shoots through her at those bright blue eyes of his darkening when her tongue darts out to lick her lips. Pope rolls his eyes at them both before muttering a quick 'see ya' and hastily melting back into the crowd. 

"So, who're we telling to fuck off?" His voice is just a little strained and she feels her cool facade start to crack as she scowls, subtly tilts her head toward where Adam's still staring at her with an expression that looks like he ate a sour lemon. JJ spins her around to take a very conspicuous peek and her mouth curls into a grin, mask breaking completely when he shoots the touron a glare that screams 'try me, I dare you'; the heat from his hand still in her pocket burns as he leans in until his forehead rests on hers. "Let's give him a show."

Sailor hums and pretends to mull it over even as she coyly snakes her arms around his neck and pulls him closer, the harder panes of his body sliding almost sinfully against her softer curves as they sway together, "I don't know, you looked pretty cozy with that other girl earlier..." Is it kind of petty to bring it up? Yes, yes it is, but she can't resist toying with him like he did to her, just as she can't help the breathless gasp that escapes her lips when his fingers press hard into the toned flesh of her ass through her shorts.

"Why, Flynn, are you jealous?"

"Please, I saw that glare you gave him. If anyone's jealous, it's you, Maybank." She fires back while carding both hands through his hair and the pure gratification she feels at his slight shiver is nothing short of euphoric. Out of the corner of her eye, she barely takes notice of the frown Adam sends their way before he turns and stalks off toward the other side of the beach; honestly, she's so caught up in JJ and everything about him -the slow swing of his hips, the hands burning hot against the strip of her back exposed by her crop top, the darkened look in those ocean eyes- that she'd completely forgotten about the touron she danced with earlier in an effort to forget the boy she's dancing with now. She should've known it wouldn't have worked: Sailor could never forget JJ, no matter how hard she tries. He's like a permanent mark on her, a tattoo inked in gold, a beautiful, wonderous scar that she never wants to fade away.  

"Seems like we scared him off so I don't have to worry about that anymore." His flushed face is so close she can feel his breath on her lips as he speaks and her eyes quickly flick down to his mouth on their own accord.

"And what about me?" She asks, twirling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, heart beating fast in anticipation as he smirks wickedly at the way her own face turns cherry red.

"Sail, babe, you don't have to worry about a damn thing."

All one of them has to do is tilt their head and everything will fall into place and she can once again know what it's like to kiss him-

"Let it go, Topper!" A sudden, annoyed shout breaks the two apart before they can close that final distance (Sailor's not sure who would've made the first move and she's both relieved and disappointed they won't get to find out), turning away from each other in tandem toward the gathering mass of bodies chanting 'fight, fight!' at the shoreline. 

"JB, he's not worth it!" At the sound of Kiara's voice, they take off running across the sand and shove their way to the front of the crowd just in time to see Topper Thornton in all his frat boy glory get absolutely slammed with a hard punch to the jaw, courtesy of John B. The kook barely hits the ground before he's back on his feet and lunging forward to tackle him into the water, landing a hit of his own square in the eye.

"What the hell happened?" Sailor grabs Kiara's elbow and the dark haired girl looks at her with wide eyes as the boys continue to roll around, exchanging brutal blows while a stunned Pope watches from her other side.

"I don't even know, they just started wailing on each other!"

JJ stands silent to Sailor's right, jaw clenched and hands curled into fists as he stares at the brawl and she reaches over to wrap her fingers around his wrist, thumb calmly running circles on his skin.

"Top, seriously! Stop it!" Sarah Cameron stands in the sand just before the crashing waves, yelling furiously at her boyfriend and throwing her arms in the air when he ignores her. "What is wrong with you?"

The moment Topper lands three punches in a row on John B's battered face, Sailor decides she's seen enough. She rushes forward without thinking to grab the blond boy's arm, pulling as hard as she can in an attempt to get him off her friend and barely has time to register what's happening when the fist he was aiming at John B suddenly swings at her. It connects solidly with her left cheek and makes her stumble back, her hand flying to her throbbing face before she goes down hard onto her butt in the surf. 

"What the fuck, Thornton?"

"Did you just punch a girl?"

"Ohhhh shit!"

A cacophony of voices yells from the shore as the kook boy stares down at her, momentarily stunned when he realizes who exactly he hit, and it gives John B an opening to wrestle him back into the water and land a solid punch right to his nose. Everything happens so fast after that that the redhead, still reeling in a wide-eyed daze, has a little trouble keeping up. First, Kiara and Pope splash through the waves to her side, kneeling down to help her to her feet with their arms around her waist. Second, Topper gains the upper hand and straight up tries to drown John B, holding his head under the water while Sarah screams at him to stop. And third, JJ -reckless, bold, protective JJ- pulls out that damn stolen gun, effectively bringing the whole mess to a grinding halt when he stalks forward and presses the barrel to the side of Topper's head.

"Your move, broski." He threatens and the beach is so quiet everyone can hear the click of the safety being switched off. The kook slowly raises his hands in the air and John B emerges from the water, stumbling forward onto his hands and knees with a horrible wet cough.

It's all too much for Sailor's poor tipsy self to take. The world spins beneath her feet as her head starts to pound and her shaking fingers fail to find purchase on Kiara's and Pope's shoulders.

"Guys, I don't feel so good," She manages to whisper and their looks of concern (the former) and panic (the latter) are the last thing she sees before her legs give out and everything goes black.

-

The first thing she registers is the pain that radiates from the left side of her face, her whole head throbbing with every beat of her heart and the sound of loud whispering right by her ear isn't helping at all. 

"That's the best you can do, J? Seriously?"

"The power's out! I can't exactly pull ice out of my ass, Kie."

Something semi-cold gently rests against her cheek and she audibly sighs at the little bit of relief she feels, her hand sluggishly rising to hold it a little closer as she mumbles, "I wouldn't want your ass ice anyway." At least she tries to: her mouth feels like it's full of cotton and she's pretty sure the only thing that comes out is unintelligible gibberish.

Sailor opens her eyes and finds herself lying on her back on the sleeper sofa at the Chateau, a passed out John B to her right. Pope sits on the edge of the mattress by his side, holding a beer bottle to his friend's black eye and he sends her a relieved smile when he notices she's awake.

"There she is," JJ says from her other side and she turns to face him, not at all surprised to find him already looking at her, and the unabashed concern in his eyes sends a golden warmth through her whole body. Her fingers slip down the hand that's still holding the bottle to her cheek so she can run her thumb over the delicate bones in his wrist in a silent thank you.

A different, softer hand rests on her knee and she tears her gaze away from his face to smile at Kiara as she says, "Good to see you're okay, Sail."

The redhead sinks back into the pillow in embarrassment and covers her eyes with her free hand. God, she really passed out, didn't she? She passed out after taking one lousy punch to the face by a fucking kook, no less. How completely mortifying. She swallows thickly and sounds like a chain smoker when she says, "I'm so sorry, guys. I'm a total idiot."

The other three conscious pogues start protesting all at once -apparently there's many, many, different ways to say she's not an idiot- and the resulting volume of their combined voices is enough to make her headache even worse. She sits up and scoots back until she's propped against the couch and sets the now warm beer on the side table before massaging both of her temples.

"Will you please shut up, I can feel my brain beating in my skull."

For a second, there's wonderful, blissful silence and then:

"Holy shit, thank you," A groggy voice says to her right and she turns to watch a bleary-eyed John B claw his way back to consciousness. "You guys are fucking loud."

"He lives!" JJ shouts, ignoring the four glares sent his way and reaching over to clap his hand against the brunet boy's shoulder. "Welcome back, dude."

"Ugh," He suddenly rolls onto his stomach -Pope deftly catching the bottle when it nearly falls from the bed- and his muffled voice floats out from the pillow he shoves his head under like an ostrich in the sand. "Knock me back out."

"Aww, poor baby." Sailor gives his back a sympathetic pat and chuckles softly when he blindly feels around for her arm, pushing it away with another deep groan and a 'fuck off, Sail' that lacks any type of venom.

"Okay, now that you're both kind of conscious, let's agree that neither of you will ever fucking do that again. Got it?" Kiara addresses John B and Sailor as she stands from the bed and crosses her arms, fixing the latter with a piercing look that makes her feel like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar; she opens her mouth to defend herself but before she can say anything, Kiara turns her furious gaze to JJ and points an accusing finger at his face. "And you! What the hell were you thinking pulling that damn gun out, huh?"

"Jesus Christ, Kie!" He suddenly rockets to his feet and throws his hands in the air. "Sail got socked in the face and JB was getting fucking drowned, I wasn't really thinking much at all!”

The dark haired girl can't seemed to think of a response to that and looks away, staring at the floor with her jaw clenched as Pope, ever the mediator, rises to his feet, too, and rounds the bed to step between them placatingly.

"Let's just drop it for tonight, okay? They need to rest." He says, nodding toward the two still on the bed before wrapping his hand around Kiara's elbow and turning her toward the front door. She immediately pulls her arm from his grasp but still nods in agreement, the hard look in her eyes softening when she glances at her injured friends.

"Yeah, okay." She says and glances down at her watch, wincing when she catches sight of the time. "My parents'll kill me if I'm not home soon, anyway."

"Come on, I'll take you guys home." JJ says with a conciliatory look in her direction as Pope tosses him the Volkswagen's keys from his pocket and when she nods back, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, Sailor knows that all is forgiven, at least for now. 

"Are you sure you're good to drive?" She asks and immediately rolls her eyes at his sarcastic reply of "Yes, Mom," and the obnoxious wink he shoots her.

The trio leaves after a quick round of goodbyes and John B waits until he hears the sound of his van driving away before finally emerging from under the pillow and rolling onto his back.

"Sensing the immediate danger has passed, the ostrich cautiously pulls its head out from the sand..." She says in her best David Attenborough impression, laughing when he tosses the pillow at her head with an amused grin.

"Ha ha. I was trying to avoid getting a Kie lecture," He explains, running both hands down his face with a heavy sigh. "It feels like my head's gonna explode."

"You and me both, dude." She carefully probes at her swollen cheek and is more than a little surprised to feel the beginnings of a scab forming near her eye. She knew Topper landed a solid punch but she didn't realize how solid that hit was until now as she catches sight of the tiny bit of drying blood left behind on her fingertips. 

"That looks like it hurts. You okay?" John B asks and she looks up from wiping her hand clean on her shorts, stiff from dried saltwater, with a wrinkle of her freckled nose.

"I'm alright. How about you? No offense but your eye looks like shit."

"I'll live." He answers with a shrug as he pulls himself upright on the mattress and leans his head against the back of the couch. "Thanks, by the way."

"For what?" 

He sluggishly turns his head to look Sailor in the eye and shrugs again. "For trying to help me out. Sorry I got you punched."

She smirks and reaches over to give his hand a brief, friendly squeeze as she replies, "It's not your fault I got myself punched. I'm sorry your ass almost drowned."

He snorts at that and she's relieved to hear it, knowing that he can still joke around and he's not, like, completely traumatized or something. Poor guy's already got enough to deal with without adding a mental breakdown to the list. She swings her legs over the edge of the mattress and slowly stands before taking a tentative step forward; when her knees hold and she doesn't fall flat on her face, she makes her way to his side and holds both hands out to him with a small, lighthearted smile.

"Yeah, you're delirious. Near death experiences do that to you." She says, helping him to his feet and, after looping his arm over her shoulders and sliding hers around his waist, the two teenagers carefully shuffle down the hall in the dim light of the emergency lantern on the kitchen table to his room, where she unceremoniously dumps him onto his bed. "Sleep it off. And for the love of God, please change. You smell terrible."

She goes to leave as he laughs again, tugging his shirt off and tossing it into the growing pile of clothes near the closet before saying, "Hey, Sailor?"

The redhead pauses with one foot in the hall and leans against the doorframe. "Yeah?"

"You know you're a badass, right?"

She laughs and sends him a wink but her heart is oh so light as she turns and heads to the spare room, calling back over her shoulder, "Nice to see someone acknowledge it. Now go to bed!"

-

The sound of the Chateau's front door opening and closing startles Sailor awake and she blinks heavily, wondering when exactly she'd fallen asleep. Last thing she remembers she was staring out at the fireflies through the open window as she steadily ran her hand down the length of Binx's back and their ethereal glow, combined with the breeze dancing around her shoulders, must've pulled her right under. Down the hall, she hears a loud thump, followed by JJ cursing as he runs into something and she giggles to herself, rolling onto her side to face the hall. He appears in the darkened doorway a minute later, rubbing his knee with a scowl on his face and she laughs louder at his quiet, venomous hiss of "fuck that fucking chair."

"Rude. It's not the chair's fault you always run into it." She teases and he shoots her a flat, unamused look before turning to glance down the hall toward John B's room, his fingers holding tight to the door frame.

"He's okay, you know. Told him to get some sleep." His head swings to face her when she speaks with soft words and even in the dark, she can see the way his tense shoulders slowly relax and his hand loosens, falling back to his side as he nods, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

"And you?" He asks, his eyes never wavering from hers as he kicks his boots off and pulls his shirt over his head; the sight of his messy hair and the muscles in his arms make it a little hard for Sailor to breathe, the gentle wind she once thought of as cool now doing nothing to help calm her flushed skin when she scoots over in bed to give him room to lie down next to her. Binx looks as disgruntled as a cat can look as he loses his comfy spot and jumps down from the bed, only to immediately leap onto the windowsill and stretch out.

"What about me?"

JJ rolls over to face her, reaching one hand up to cup her injured face and runs his calloused thumb under the cut on her cheekbone. "Are you okay?"

Nodding, she shifts closer and lays her head on his outstretched arm, covering his hand with her own and effortlessly fitting her fingers into the spaces between his. "I'm fine. Even better, now."

He leans forward to rest his forehead against hers. "Good, 'cause I don't know what I'd do if you weren't."

When those pesky butterflies come raging back with a vengeance, she realizes she's fighting a battle she hopes to lose.

-

The sound of a conversation in the kitchen, low voices drifting through the closed door of the guest room wakes Sailor early the next morning. Sunlight filters in through the windows and she squeezes one eye shut against the painful brightness, the other still squished into JJ's shoulder. His arm is a welcome weight slung over her hip and his deep, even breaths are soft against her forehead as he sleeps on, dead to the voices down the hall. With the corner of her mouth turned up in a small smile, she smooths his fine blond hair away from his face and runs her fingers along his jawline before carefully sliding out from under his arm and quietly heading toward the kitchen.

Pulling her hair into a messy ponytail, she rounds the corner and stops short when she catches sight of the person standing by the table, her cheerful 'good morning' getting stuck on her tongue; she was expecting Pope and Kiara, not the goddamn sheriff! Shooting John B a wide-eyed look that makes him shake his head (what the fuck did that even mean?!), the redhead forces a smile and hastily offers her a wave.

"Uh, good morning, Sheriff. Sorry to interrupt, just, uh, grabbing some water."

She just nods in acknowledgement before turning her attention back to the brunet boy and Sailor breathes an inaudible sigh of relief. Holy shit, is that woman scary. She heads to the sink and keeps one ear on the conversation as she quickly fills a glass with water and pops two aspirin, the headache from last night made even worse by the addition of a whiskey hangover. 

"I didn't realize you had company, John B. Wild night?" The sheriff asks and Sailor meets her friend's eyes again, her anxiety rising when she sees his thinly veiled panic. Her back to Peterkin, she silently implores him to say something, anything -hell, she even tries to subtly mime surfing with her hands to help him out- but he stays silent, so she gathers her courage, plasters a smile on her face, and twirls to face her.

"Busy day, actually. We went surfing all day after cleaning up the yard." She says, jerking her thumb toward the heap of broken branches piled by the fire pit visible through the living room window; when the sheriff turns to look, she quickly elbows John B in the side, ignoring his huff of surprise as she nods her head in her direction.

"Yeah, surfing! All day." He blurts out, sending Sailor a lukewarm glare when she quickly mouths 'what the fuck was that?' before they both straighten up and spin back to the older woman just as she turns to face them again.

"Right." Peterkin hums and arches one eyebrow as she glances back and forth between the two teenagers. "Now tell me, how'd you both get those bruises? They look pretty painful."

"Oh, this?" Sailor asks, pointing at her cheek with a casual shrug, "I tried to hang ten and bit it pretty hard. My board caught me right in the face."

Peterkin looks at her for a beat longer than normal and the redhead does her best to keep her expression neutral as her palms start to sweat. "Surfing, really? Thought you were pretty experienced in that department."

John B adds, offering some much needed back up, "Even the pros wipe out every once in awhile, you know?" He crosses his arms and leans back against the counter. "My board got me good, too."

"Yeah, it just was not our day," She says with a nervous chuckle, refilling her water and slowly starting to back out of the kitchen, pretending she doesn't see the dismayed look her friend sends her way; her anxiety can't take another second of the sheriff's piercing gaze and she needs to get away fast, lest she start recounting every single second of their activities both legal and not so legal- from yesterday in explicit detail. "And I'm still pretty tired so I'm just gonna go back to bed for a bit. Nice talking to you, Sheriff."

After disappearing around the corner before either of them can reply, she creeps down the hallway, keeping her footfalls as light as she can, and she's so focused on trying to listen in on what Peterkin's saying that she runs smack into JJ, standing in the doorway of the spare room. His arm instantly darts out to wrap around her waist and pull her close, keeping her from falling right on her butt as he says, "There you are-"

"Shhh!" Sailor hisses quietly, covering his mouth with her hand, "The damn sheriff is here!"

He mumbles something into her palm but she she holds a finger to her lips, pushing him back into the room and softly closing the door behind them before pressing her ear against it and dropping her hand from his face. He mirrors her position with a question clear as day in his wide eyes, 'what the fuck?', arm still looped around her lower back.

"She's grilling him about yesterday," She says simply, then turns her attention back to the faint voices floating through the door. The duo listens in silence, trying and failing to discern what's being said until they hear the sound of the sheriff's boots on the front porch and her squad car tires crunching through the gravel as she drives away and they exchange a worried look. JJ had it right: what the fuck, indeed. 

"Holy shit, guys," John B's voice suddenly says from the hallway. The door opens before they have time to back away and it sends them sprawling to the floor in a twisted pile of limbs; the brunet boy -who'd usually find something like that hilarious- barely reacts to their position and sends them both a tense frown, his next words dropping like a damn anchor in the marsh.

"We need to go check out that Grady-White again, and fast."

Sailor groans and lets her head fall back onto the floor with a thunk. "Here we go."

-

let me know what you think! fun fact: ostriches actually do put their heads in the sand, but it's not because they sense danger. female ostriches bury their eggs to keep them safe from predators and they'll occasionally stick their head into the sand to check on them and give 'em a lil turn 😊

taglist ❤: @sinkbeneathwaves​ @jiaraendgame​ @hmsjiara​ @maysbanks​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @sunflowerbecca​ @obxlife​ @obx-adventures​ @sexualparkour​ @coltonparayyko​ @miawantsapuppy​

[zen3to5]

J/H 6-18: Substitute

Of all the Pam Burkhart episodes, this was probably the most fun to rewrite. Jackie moving into the hotel is an idea I'm pretty happy with, and the rewrites here meant reducing Mitch's part, which was great (Pam isn't a great character, but she's largely innocuous; I can't stand Mitch in these episodes.)

We're assuming that episode order shifts around a little here; "Substitute" is now 6-18. We assume that 6-17, "Happy Jack," plays out as we know it.

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY   A simple hotel room at the Point Place Hotel: bed, bath, a crappy black-and-white TV. But this basic layout has brightly colored pillows and glittery framed portraits to jazz it up. JACKIE goes around the room, adjusting her things on the bed and dresser.   DONNA enters, a box full of stuffed unicorns in her arms.   DONNA: Here you go: one box worth of unicorns. Which leaves three boxes worth still in my room.   JACKIE: Yeah, I don’t have space for everything here. But, this way, you won’t have to miss me. Every morning, when you wake up, those happy unicorn faces will be a little piece of Jackie to brighten up your day.   Donna laughs as she sets down the box.   DONNA: You know, Jackie, I am gonna miss you. Since you’ve started living with us, my dad’s finally had someone to watch The Love Boat with. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?   JACKIE: I’m sure, Donna. When my mom came back, I stayed with you and your dad because I couldn’t go back to living with her. If she’s still moving into your house, then I can’t be there.   Donna opens her arms, and Jackie steps in for a big hug.   DONNA: Okay, I’m gonna go. We’ll hold on to the rest of your stuff.   JACKIE: Just don’t lose any of it inside your giant shoes.   They both smile, and Donna exits.   She’s no sooner gone than HYDE enters, three keys in his hand. He presents them to Jackie.   HYDE: Okay, Jackie. Here’s your room key, the kitchen key if you ever need me, and the master key. Gets you in to all the closets, cabinets – basically all the towels, soaps, and booze you could want.   JACKIE: Guests aren’t supposed to have this.   HYDE: (shrugs) Neither are kitchen staff.   Jackie nods, “a-ha,” and puts the keys away.   HYDE: Hey, so, Forman’s taking the guys mini golfing. You wanna come?   JACKIE: No. I just want to lie down for a while.   HYDE: Okay.   He kisses her forehead.   HYDE (cont’d): I’ll check in on you when I come back for my shift. I’ll make dinner.   JACKIE: Hey, I hadn’t thought of that - with you working here, it’s like I have my own personal valet. Will you bring me breakfast in bed every morning for room service?   HYDE: No.   JACKIE: Will you bring me fresh towels and make the bed every day?   HYDE: No.   JACKIE: (beat) Will you be late to mini golf and help me “break in” the bed?   HYDE: Anything to make your stay more comfortable.   They both smile and step into a kiss. Jackie puts her arms around Hyde’s neck and pulls him down on top of her on the bed.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   EXT. GOLFCOURSE – DAY   The Point Place mini golf course, with all the charmingly tacky landmarks you’d expect of a small-town setup like this. ERIC, FEZ, and KELSO watch as a YOUNG BOY putts his ball into the windmill and sinks it. The guys give a quiet golf clap. Once the boy runs off, Fez moves into position to take his shot.   Hyde walks up between Eric and Kelso. His walk is just a little awkward and bow-legged.   HYDE: Hey. Sorry I’m late.   ERIC: Oh, did moving Jackie into the hotel take more time than you thought?   HYDE: No, we were done with that a while ago.   ERIC: (shrugs) Man, she must really be upset at her mom. I mean, I don’t think Pam’s even moved in with Bob yet.   KELSO: She hasn’t. On my weekends home from the police academy, I’ve been staking out all your houses for surveillance practice. Pam’s still not camping at the Pinciotti’s. But she and Bob are really getting Bob’s money’s worth out of that hot tub.   FEZ: FORE!   He takes, not a gentle put, but a full-on swing.   ERIC: WHOA!   Fez’s ball goes sailing over the course and out towards the parking lot.   HYDE: Watch out!   ERIC: Parking lot!   Glass shatters. Fez, Eric, and Hyde all wince.   KELSO: Eh, it was just a Pinto.   Eric and Hyde round on Fez.   HYDE: Fez, this is putt-putt. Your choices are putt or putt.   Before Fez can respond, a short – very short – figure steps out from behind the nearby counter – MITCH, in the silliest of golf hats.   MITCH: Hey, what the hell? (sees Eric) Oh, Forman. I should’ve known it was you guys. Most people who come here can’t hit the ball that hard on account of they’re in kindergarten.   ERIC: Mitch. Congratulations. This seems like the perfect job for someone your size, what with the free lodging in the little castle at hole six.   MITCH: Yeah, there’s just enough room in there for me and your mom.   The guy all “ooh.”   KELSO: (to Eric) Yeah, the sweetest burns involve doing it with your mom.   MITCH: Look, just quit hitting the ball that hard, or you guys are out of here.   He pokes at Eric’s chest and goes back to the counter.   ERIC: God, I hate that guy. Tear him a new hole in one.   HYDE: Wow, Forman. Haven’t seen you this pissed since I chased you around your house with that spider in a jar. You were, like - (doing Eric) “Hyde, I swear to God!” (normal voice) But you never did anything.   ERIC: Yeah? Well, I’m about to do something.   He tees up for his shot and, like Fez, gives a full swing. His ball shoots up, ricochets off the windmill, and flies over to the counter, where Mitch is on the phone. The ball beans him in the head. Mitch drops the phone and drops like a rock. The guys drop their clubs and rush over.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL HALL – DAY   Later in the afternoon. A row of doors. From one, ROY stumbles out, a woman’s kimono clutched in his hands. The door slams shut behind him.   Roy clutches at the kimono and stares blankly at the door. He doesn’t notice Jackie come up behind him until she taps him on the shoulder.   JACKIE: Hey, Roy.   ROY: Oh, hey, Jackie. How’re you liking the hotel?   JACKIE: Well, it’s nice to have a maid again. And she has a bigger moustache than my dad, just like our maid back home. (nods to kimono) Whatcha got there?   ROY: Oh, you know we’re having that Japanese cultural festival in the hotel this week? Yeah, there’s these dancers who put on a show. They wear these kimonos.   JACKIE: Oh, was that one lost?   ROY: No, I was in their room when they came in, so I hid in the closet. They threw me out.   He looks down at his feet, unable to meet Jackie’s raised, condescending brows.   An extremely hairy man in a flowered sundress and a hand fan comes up the hall, behind Jackie and Roy. They are slow to turn and notice him, but when they do, Jackie’s eyes bulge out and she takes a step back. Roy takes the sight in stride.   ROY (cont’d): Oh, hey, Frank.   FRANK snaps his fan shut and shakes it at Roy.   FRANK: I’ve told you – when I’m here in my gown, you call me Lady Laguna!   JACKIE: (scoffs) You call that a gown?   Frank’s glare snaps her way. Jackie inches toward Roy, who holds the kimono out between them and Frank like a shield.   JACKIE (cont’d): Whatever the lady says.   Frank gives her a brusque nod. He proceeds down the hall, his head turned to watch Jackie and Roy the entire time.   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “Stuck in the Middle with You” by Stealers Wheel.   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   For once, the basement is empty. Magazines, comics, and a Millennium Falcon-shaped carrying case full of action figures cover the coffee table. Not that the basement stays empty: Kelso opens the door and leads in Hyde and Eric, supporting Mitch between them. Fez brings up the rear. Mitch has a large bandage covering his forehead.   The guys see Mitch over to the couch, where they set him down in the center seat. Eric sits to his right as Hyde crosses to his chair, Fez sits in the lawn chair, and Kelso sits on Mitch’s left.   ERIC: Mitch, I am so sorry. The doctor said it was only a mild concussion, so...   MITCH: What? I’ve lost the ability to process language, on account of I have a concussion! (sighs) Forman, why are we always fighting? I can’t even remember how we got this way.   KELSO: I’ve had chicks say that to me.   FEZ: No. That was me.   Kelso and Fez share an awkward look.   MITCH: (to Eric) Don’t you think that we should be friends? I mean, we’re pretty much the same guy. We’re into all the same stuff – Spider-Man, Batman, Famous Monsters of Filmland... (sees Star Wars toys) And Star Wars! Look at this!   He picks up the Darth Vader figure from the case.   MITCH (cont’d): I can’t believe you got a hold of the Darth Vader with the green lightsaber! Pew! Pew! Pew!   He starts swinging the doll around as he makes the noise. Eric shakes his head and takes the doll from him.   ERIC: What? No, no. It’s –   He proceeds to make more accurate, and more nerdy, lightsaber sound effects.   ERIC: (to Hyde) What a geek.   FEZ: (to Kelso) They look happy. Why don’t we have a game?   KELSO: Man, you are always on about that these days. “Why don’t we have a song? Why don’t we have a movie?”   FEZ: If you gave me an answer, maybe I wouldn’t always be on about it.   KELSO: Look, can we not do this when we have company over? We’ll talk about it later.   FEZ: Oh, sure. Later, later, always later, but later never comes!   They both snap their heads away from each other. Eric, Mitch, and Hyde take a moment to stare at them before going back to their business.   MITCH: Come on, Eric. Let’s hang out.   ERIC:   Okay, well... you’re obviously having some kind of reaction to your medications. Why don’t you just give your dad a call, get a ride home.   He indicates the phone. Mitch looks down, puts a finger to his bandage, and pokes at it repeatedly.   MITCH:  (on each poke) Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.   Eric heaves a deep sigh, rolls his eyes, and hands Darth Vader back to Mitch.   ERIC:  You can be Darth Vader. Just don’t wreck the lightsaber.   MITCH: Really? Thanks!   He starts swinging Darth Vader around again, with inaccurate sound effects.   HYDE: Uh, Forman?   Hyde stands, takes Eric by the arm, and pulls him to the deep freeze.   HYDE (cont’d): (hushed) Man, what the hell are you thinking? We’ve already got a weak, squeaky nerd-boy hanging around here – you. And Mitch doesn’t have any of your better qualities, like a house I can live in. I mean, look at him.   He points over to Mitch, who is pointing to Kelso. More specifically, he’s leaning into Kelso, his finger hovering just barely away from Kelso’s temple.   KELSO: What are you doing?   MITCH: I’m not touching you.   KELSO: Stop it.   MITCH: But I’m not touching you.   KELSO: Stop not touching me!   MITCH: Okay.   He gives Kelso a sharp poke to the temple.   MITCH (cont’d): (laughs) Wasn’t it better when I wasn’t touching you?   KELSO: (laughs) Yeah.   Mitch puts his finger back up, and Kelso does the same to him. Eric looks back to Hyde.   ERIC:  Look, Mitch knows I’m just being nice, okay? This can’t last more than a few days, tops. And, I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?   The basement door opens, and Donna enters.   MITCH: (to Donna) Oh, wow! You are gorgeous! You’re the hottest redhead since Batgirl! And you’re not just gorgeous – I mean, you radiate intelligence and deep thought. A real sense of self.   DONNA: Eric, I like your new friend.   She smiles at a beaming Mitch as Eric and Hyde share a look.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   The hotel ballroom. It is filled with booths, stands, tables, and small stages, all for the Japanese cultural festival, which has drawn a healthy nighttime crowd. At a makeshift Japanese steakhouse grill, the chef performs for the gathered crowd, slicing and preparing fish with an elaborate display of cutting and knife throwing.   Jackie sits at the bar watching. She is wearing a dark floral kimono, with her hair in a French twist style held with chopsticks. Hyde, in his chef’s jacket, comes up behind her.   HYDE: Oh, I could get used to this look.   Jackie turns around, stands.   JACKIE: Oh, there you are.   She kisses him.   HYDE: How’s it going?   JACKIE: Well, I was yelled at by Lady Laguna, the concierge keeps inviting me to the “private suite” under his desk, and Roy’s offered me a charming look at what Fez will be like in 20 years.   HYDE: Now, Jackie, that’s not fair. Fez has actually had a girlfriend.   Jackie considers that, shrugs.   HYDE (cont’d): Look, man, if this isn’t working out, then maybe you can move back with –   JACKIE: No, no – I’m fine. (sighs) Can we just go back to my room and have some dinner?   HYDE: Sure. Hope you don’t mind salad and burgers. Roy didn’t shut the freezer all the way when he went in there to cry, so the ground beef’s about the only thing left that’s not a 50/50 risk of salmonella.   They hold hands and start to head for the exit when they bump into another couple – RED and KITTY. And BOB is with them too.   JACKIE: Oh! Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Forman. Hi, Mr. Pinciotti.   KITTY: Well, hello, Jackie.   BOB: Hi there, Jackie. Isn’t this festival great? (points to grill) I love this one. It’s not just dinner. It’s a thrill ride, ‘cause there’s a small chance you’re getting knifed.   RED: I don’t know, Bob. I’ve tried to avoid Asians with weapons ever since 7,000 of them tried to kill me.   KITTY: (laughs) Well, it’s thanks to the work of brave men like you that America’s enemies are now performing at a tiny local festival in a two-star hotel.   JACKIE: What are you all doing here?   BOB: Pammy thought it’d make a good double date.   JACKIE: Wait, my mom’s here?   BOB: Yep. She’s just freshening up.   JACKIE: (to Hyde) My room, Steven. Now.   She lets Hyde lead her by the hand around the adults. Bob starts after them.   BOB: Come on, Jackie. Give your mom a chance. I think she really wanted to come here so she could see you.   Jackie pulls Hyde to a stop, rounds on Bob.   JACKIE: Well, I don’t want to see her, so you can stop trying to help her get to me.   BOB: I just don’t like seeing you two not get along. And your mom’s been such a peach since we got together. I wanna help you two out.   JACKIE: Well, she doesn’t deserve it! Steven, is there another way out of here? A back door or a secret bookcase passage?   HYDE: Okay, someone’s had a relapse on Nancy Drew.   Nevertheless, he takes her away from the main entrance to a small door in the far corner.   JACKIE: God, I can’t believe Bob! Why can’t he just accept that I don’t want to see my...   Hyde opens the door to:   INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT   A small hallway connecting just two doors, a staff passageway. Inside, Jackie and Hyde find two people making out – PAM and a Japanese man dressed for the grill.   JACKIE: MOM?   Pam breaks away from her partner, breathless.   PAM: Oh, Jackie, there you are. Meet Hirohito.   HIROHITO smiles and waves. Jackie, eyes wide, rounds on Hyde.   JACKIE: What is it with this hotel and cheating?   Hyde shifts on his feet as Jackie turns back to her mom, gaping.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT   Right where we left off. As Hyde and Hirohito stand uncomfortably by, Jackie advances on Pam.   JACKIE: Mom, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be here with Bob.   PAM: Oh, you ran into Bob. Isn’t he just a doll, bringing me here? Who would’ve thought a man with such bad dress sense could be so sweet?   JACKIE: Yeah, Bob is sweet. And you’re cheating on him! With some cook at a crappy hotel!   She can feel Hyde’s eyes on the back of her neck. She steps back to him and puts a hand on his chest.   JACKIE (cont’d): Which can be a good thing, if you’ve got the right combination of looks and brains to make up for it, and if you’re not with someone else.   PAM: Oh, honey, don’t be silly. Hirohito’s only here for the festival. His day job is as a Lincoln dealer.   HIROHITO: 34th and Donegal.   JACKIE: (gasps) Lincolns? Could you get a deal on a pink – no, no! (to Pam) Mom, how can you do this to Bob? He really likes you, and he’s done nothing but stick up for you since you came back to town.   PAM: Oh, Bob will be fine.   JACKIE: No, he won’t! Bob’s had a horrible time with break-ups before, but he’s never had anyone cheat on him. How can you do this when you’re moving in together?   PAM: Well... Jackie, the truth is, when you wouldn’t speak to me after I came back, when Bob asked me out, it seemed like the only way I could see you. And when he asked me to move in, I thought it was a way you and I could be together. But now that you’ve moved out... did I mention Hirohito has a summer home back east?   HIROHITO: Cape Cod.   JACKIE: (to Pam) So you just used Bob to try and get to me? Mom, you can’t just throw your looks at some guy and use him to get whatever you want. I’ve learned the world doesn’t work like that.   PAM: Oh, I knew I shouldn’t have sent you to public school.   JACKIE: Just think, Mom. What if it had worked? You and me would be back home, or living with this Hirohito guy, but what happens when someone else comes along who’s richer? Or what happens when you get another chance to run off to Mexico, or Paris, or Milan?   HIROHITO: Kyoto is lovely this time of year, too.   Everyone turns to glare at him.   HIROHITO (cont’d): But, carry on.   JACKIE: (to Pam) Mom, all this does is show me that you’re still running from one place to another, looking for something better instead of just being happy with what you have. That’s why you left after Daddy went to prison, and it’s why I haven’t wanted to see you. And why I still don’t.   She passes Pam and Hirohito and runs out the other end of the hallway. Pam shifts on her feet, Hirohito scratches at the back of his neck.   Hyde takes a step toward them.   HYDE: (to Hirohito) Hey, if the Lincoln thing doesn’t work out, this crappy hotel does actually need a cook for weekend shifts. Just one thing – (points to Pam) No dogs allowed in the kitchen.   He passes them and follows after Jackie.   BUMPER   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   The next morning. The Toyota rests in the driveway, the hood popped. Eric holds a flashlight for Red as he works on the engine. Kitty is in the Toyota, behind the wheel.   RED: (to Eric) I just think it’s pretty suspicious that after we left the Japanese festival, our Japanese car broke down.   Eric’s chance to throw some snark at that xenophobia is cut short when Mitch strolls up the driveway.   MITCH: (to Eric) Hey, buddy.   Kitty steps out of the car to take a look at Eric’s new friend. Mitch makes a show of reacting to her.   MITCH (cont’d): Whoa, Eric, you didn’t tell me you had an older sister.   ERIC: Oh, please. If you’re gonna go with fake charm, let’s keep it in the realm of reality, okay?   KITTY: Oh, you shut your porky mouth. I have the skin of a 25-year old. Who smokes.   Mitch turns to Red, polishing a nut.   MITCH: You know, Mr. Forman, I learned a little about cars from my uncle who used to fix tanks in Vietnam. Now that’s hero’s work, fixing machines that kill people you don’t agree with. My only regret is that I haven’t yet had a chance to fight for my country.   RED: Really? Eric’s only regret is that he doesn’t live in space.   ERIC: That’s not my only regret. It’s just one of them.   He goes back to holding the flashlight, only now, it’s for Mitch.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   A truncated gathering. Kelso leans on the deep freeze, nursing a popsicle, Donna sits in Hyde’s chair, Eric on the back of one end of the couch, Mitch in the seat on the other end, and Fez in the lawn chair. “My Best Friend’s Girl” by the Cars plays on the radio.   Fez, Kelso, and especially Eric wear long faces as Donna humors Mitch’s nerdy babble.   MITCH: So I’m at this garage sale, and I look down, and there they were – Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan, all in mint condition! It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. (to Donna) At least until I met you.   Donna giggles, runs a hand through her hair. Eric climbs down from the back of the couch and stands over Mitch.   ERIC: Okay, Mitch. Don’t you have something you need to do?   MITCH: You know, you’re right. I almost forgot. I said I’d make omelets for everyone! (points to Kelso) Onions... (points to Fez) Peppers... (points to Donna) And only the most succulent of honey-glazed ham for a honey-red honey.   ERIC: Okay, “honey-red?” That’s not even a thing!   Donna giggles, nudges Eric with her foot.   DONNA: That sounds great, Mitch.   Kelso and Fez nod their approval. Mitch nods back, heads up the stairs.   Eric sits down in the couch seat closest to Donna.   ERIC: Donna, why do you keep encouraging Mitch?   DONNA: Eric, it’s no big deal.   ERIC: Yes, it is. Look, he already likes everything I like, he’s buttering up my parents, now he’s making moves on you... it’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers if the pod people were all leprechauns.   Kelso crosses to the other end of the couch, near Fez, and sits down.   FEZ: Okay, Kelso. I have a game we can have. Truth or Dare?   KELSO: (rolls eyes) All right, fine. Truth.   FEZ: Have you ever snuck into Donna’s bathroom when she was showering?   Eric and Donna look over at Kelso. He shifts in his seat.   KELSO: (to Fez) I mean, dare.   FEZ: Oh, come on, out with the truth! I know you’ve snuck in there. I was there, and I saw you!   Donna and Eric, and Kelso, look to him, as Mitch comes down the stairs with two plates in hand.   FEZ: I mean, dare, yes. Dare.   MITCH: Oh, are you guys playing Truth or Dare? I’m in.   He passes the plates in his hands to Kelso and Donna, then takes a seat in the hoppity hop.   MITCH (cont’d): Okay, Mitch – truth or dare? Um, I pick dare, Mitch. Okay, Mitch. I dare you to kiss Donna. (gasps) Mitch! Naughty Mitch.   DONNA: (laughing) Mitch, you goofball, that’s not how it works. It’d have to be, like, “I dare you to kiss me.”   MITCH: (shrugs) Okay.   He leaps from the hoppity hop onto Donna with a massive kiss.   ERIC: What the hell?   KELSO: (laughs) He did it!   FEZ: Look at him go! He’s like a hummingbird!   Donna pushes Mitch off her, helped by Eric pulling him off.   ERIC: Mitch, I can’t believe you! You just flew at her like one of the little monkeys from The Wizard of Oz!   DONNA:  Eric, relax. He was just fooling around. He didn’t mean anything by it.   MITCH: Yeah, Eric. What’s a little fooling around among friends? (to Donna) Wait, what was that second thing you said?   ERIC: (to Mitch) We’re not friends, man! We never were! I only let you hang out here because I felt bad for you, but guess what? I don’t like you! And neither does anyone else!   MITCH: (beat) Fine. I won’t bother you guys anymore.   Head bowed, he makes his way to the basement door. He exits, then immediately sticks his head back in.   MITCH (cont’d): Somebody needs to check Fez’s omelet in about three minutes!   He exits again.   Eric sighs, sits back down. The others all eye him carefully; they don’t often see that kind of outburst from him.   KELSO: Well, that was brutal.   DONNA: Yeah. Nice going, Eric.   ERIC: What? Donna, he just mauled you like a miniature French cat.   DONNA: Yeah, well... he worshipped me, okay? I always thought Jackie was ridiculous for falling for stuff like that, but I swear, I thought Mitch was gonna light a fire and dance around me!   KELSO: Yeah, I feel bad for the little guy. I just wanna put him up on my shoulders and buy him a balloon. (to Fez) So, Fez – what if I dared you to kiss Donna?   Fez sits up, intrigued. Donna rolls her eyes.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL – DAY   Day 2 of the Japanese cultural festival. A thinner crowd in the daytime. Jackie walks the floor in her regular clothes. She finds Roy doing the same thing, clipboard in hand.   JACKIE: Hi, Roy. So, any more luck with the Japanese dancers?   ROY: I think so. One of them came to see me in the kitchen this morning. She was screaming, “give me back my kimono,” but...   He trails off, shrugs. Jackie gives him an indulgent nod and continues on her way.   She passes by the Japanese steakhouse set-up, where Hirohito is working the grill. Pam and Bob are at the bar. Before they can see her, Jackie ducks behind a nearby dragon figure flanking another booth. But she is still within range to hear.   PAM: I’m sorry, Bob.   BOB: Hey, when things got tough between Midge and me, we did all sorts of crazy things to stay close to Donna. Although talking it over while the guy you were seeing behind my back makes our food – that’s a new one.   HIROHITO: And still, you tipped. Thank you.   He gives Bob a slight bow, and Bob gives a wave back. Pam smiles, rubs Bob’s back.   PAM: You know, Bob, you aren’t the smoothest or the classiest guy I’ve ever dated, but you are the sweetest. (sighs) You know, for the first time in my life, I feel like I need to do some work on myself. Not on the outside, obviously, because – well, come on. But on the inside. (takes Bob’s hand) And I could use some help.   BOB: Sure.   He leans in, kisses her cheek.   BOB (cont’d): You wanna try seeing Jackie again?   PAM: (beat) No. No, I think she needs her space. And she needs to see that I’ve made some changes. She deserves to see that. And I’d better start making them.   BOB: Okay.   They stand, link arms, and start to walk away.   PAM: Now, for change number one – how attached are you to those zebra rings?   That conversation continues as they exit the ballroom.   Jackie steps out from behind the dragon and looks after them. She cups a hand over her mouth as the other goes over her heart.   Hyde, in his chef’s jacket, comes up behind her.   HYDE: Hey.   She turns around to him, her eyes slightly wet.   HYDE (cont’d): Everything okay?   JACKIE: Yeah, yeah.   She hugs him around the waist. He hugs her back.   JACKIE (cont’d): Um, Steven? Do you have your master key on you?   HYDE: No...   JACKIE: Well, I’ve got mine, so where’s the nearest closet?   Hyde smiles at her. He takes her hand and leads her toward the corner door.   BUMPER   EXT. GOLFCOURSE – NIGHT   Mini golf, after hours. Mitch, alone, oils the windmill. Eric slowly comes up behind him.   ERIC: Hey, Mitch. Look, I – I wanted to apologize.   MITCH: That’s okay. I guess I was out of line too. I shouldn’t have jumped on your girlfriend. In front of you. It’s just – you have such a great life. And if I never see you or your friends ever again, I’m always gonna treasure that time that I spent with Donna.   ERIC: Okay, well... then I’ll just say goodbye.   Eric turns to leave. He makes it about three steps before Mitch heaves a heavy sigh, stopping Eric in his tracks.   MITCH: So lonely...   Eric wrestles with the air, screws up his face – and caves.   ERIC: Hey, Mitch, uh... you know, if you ever wanna hang out, you know, you’re always... you know.   In a flash, Mitch is at his side.   MITCH: Great, thanks!   ERIC: Oh, are we gonna do this now?   MITCH: Yeah, buddy, let’s do it!   ERIC: (beat) Okay.   MITCH: All right. Hey, so – do you think I might have a shot with Donna?   ERIC: Mitch, she’s my fiancée.   MITCH: So that’s a maybe!   He walks off, hands in the air. Eric drags his own hands down his face as he considers what he’s locked himself into for the foreseeable future.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   The ballroom, the festival still under way. Roy approaches the corner door and opens it. He finds Jackie and Hyde in the midst of a furious make-out session. They stop and freeze when Roy sees them.   ROY: Are you allowed to do that in here?   JACKIE: (beat) Are you allowed to ransom a dancer’s kimono for a date?   Roy considers that for a moment. He studies Jackie’s face carefully; she’s ready to play hard ball on this.   ROY: I was never here.   Jackie and Hyde nod. They go back to making out, Roy shuts the door, and continues on his way.   END.

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[correctmianitequotes]

DAY THREE: SONJA

[a/n sad tiem. we’ve got your normal, expected episode three angst + some sonja specific angst! fun stuff. don’t worry, there’s some slight syndisparklez at the end. i’m probably going to start doing the dream scenario chapters next. enjoy! please give me feedback on how you think it could have gone differently!]

 DAY 3: SONJA

Today was supposed to be a good day. 

We started the day off with goals; get iron, make beds, and improve the house.

Tucker had just crafted the first chestplate when he announced he was going back into the mine. We didn’t think anything of it; we all had communicators, and he was only strip mining. Besides, it was Tucker. It wasn’t like it was me or anything. 

Tom brought up the topic of who we thought would die first. “We’ll take it in turns. Firefoxx, who do you think’s gonna-”

“Tom,” I said immediately. I hardly thought about it. I know he’s good at fighting and all that, but he’s not very good at using his brain or paying attention. Tom has the impulse control of a rat on cocaine.  I figured he would hit a zombie pigman without thinking and die on the spot, or get too greedy and fall in lava while mining diamonds. “You’re too ballsy. You’re just gonna jump in like YOLOOO and you’re gonna- you’re gonna… yeah.”

“That’s what I thought too, but then I remembered Tom telling me about another life he lived doing this and that it went okay for him, so,” Jordan countered.

“Okay, okay, fair… What about you, Sparkly Pants?” 

“I don’t know. I think it’ll probably be me,” Jordan admitted. He laughed at himself. 

“Really?” I said incredulously. Sparklez? Dying? Sounds fake but okay. Jordan’s wayyy too careful to risk it all, and he knows his stuff. The only way I could really see him dying is if he got caught in the water by skeletons or something where he just couldn’t fight back. 

“How do you think you’re going to die?” Tom pressed.

“Ummm…” Sparklez mused for a moment. “I mean, I am about to go out and get some sugar cane.”

“Watch me die right now,” he added, laughing. 

Don’t say that, I thought to myself. Jordan hopped into his little boat and sailed away. 

“I mean, the only thing that could really happen is if I found one of those guardian temples and got zapped to death and- god dangit my boat broke.”

“Don’t worry, I have enough to make a new one,” he reassured us.

“Nope, he’s stranded, rip in pieces Jordan,” Tucker said. 

I opened the chest and found stacks upon stacks of cobblestone. I turned to Tom who was demolishing the house and asked him, “Are you rebuilding this? There’s, like, a bunch of cobble in here.” 

Tom continued digging out the sand around that area and scoffed. “I’m not rebuilding it, you are.”

“Oh, so you just destroyed it? That’s what you’re doing. Okay.”

“...... no.” Tom looked kind of guilty for a moment, then sighed. “Sonja, do I look like the destructive type? No.” 

“Yes,” we all disputed at the same time. 

“Alright,” Tom laughed, conceding.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

“What if none of us die the whole time?” Sparklez proposed from far off in the ocean somewhere.

“Aww, you just jinxed it!” Tom blamed him

“Why would you say it. Why would you say? That was the one thing nobody was going to bring up and you just- way to go Jordan.” Tucker’s communicator crackled. That happens sometimes when the person gets too far underground. 

“Hey Tucker, you brought food, right?” Tom inquired, tapping his comm. 

“Uh yeah, I’m almost out, though.”

“Right, come back up here and get some. I am your mother and I’m telling you to get up here right now. I’m getting your packed lunch ready,” Tom said in a joking tone, but he actually started preparing some porkchops for Tucker to take into the mine with him. 

“Alright, I’ll be up in a sec. I think I’m pretty close to discovering a system down here,” which, knowing Tucker, meant that he’d mine until he almost fainted, and then drag himself back up 2 hours after that. 

“While I’m out here, I might as well look around,” Jordan reasoned. I began planning our new base while Tom went back to check on the crops. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, I found… Nothing.” Jordan announced, sounding disappointed. 

“Aww.”

“Actually- No wait! I did find a thing. I found an underwater temple!” 

“Really?” 

“Are you joking?”

I could see Tom’s brain begin to actually process what Jordan had just said. “Wait, wai- th-the temple?”

“The underwater temple with the Elder Guardian in it. You know, the only underwater temple there is?” I could hear Jordan rolling his eyes. 

“WH- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? I-GH-ghah.” Tom facepalmed, rubbing his face in hands. When he looked up at me, he had a clear expression of annoyance on his face. 

“Sonja, ask me who you think is going to die first.”

“Who do you think’s gonna die first?” 

“Well, there’s this guy named, uh, Captain Sparkly Dick-” 

Jordan burst out laughing. Tom started gesturing dramatically. “Who decided to go off in a boat ON HIS OWN, crash it, THEN decided to go adventuring in the water when there’s an insane new mob boss IN THAT WATER.” 

“I’m not going to die! It’s not like I’m going to go on in there and be like ‘hey Elder Guardian, what’s good?’” Jordan mocked. 

“Alright, just- be careful, alright?” Tom intoned seriously. He looked slightly anxious. “Tucker’s in the mine, Jordan’s in a boat in a Guardian temple, and Sonja’s- Oh, Sonja’s fine.” I genuinely couldn’t tell if he meant for me to hear that or not. It was like he was taking roll. Whether the others heard it or not, they didn’t mention it.

“Oo! I just found lava! And redstone. We’re good, guys.” Tucker announced from the mine. 

Tom laughed awkwardly. “Dunno why that’s a thing to celebrate. Unless you’re gonna, like, burn everything down. 

“Hey, Tucker, who do you think is gonna die first?” I asked him. 

He was quiet for a moment. “Pro’lly you,” he confessed.

“Me?” I repeated, offended. I mean, he was probably right, but I was still offended anyway.

“Listen, Sonj, I love you, I’d give my life for you, buuutttt…. You’re not very good at surviving. You’re better at, like, doing stuff around the base.” 

“Not in a sexist way,” he clarified. “Like making it nice and purdy and making sure we can eat and stuff.

I paused in my sapling collecting and thought back to all the times that I relied on Tucker to protect me from stuff. It was a lot. 

“If it weren’t for you, we’d probably be dead,” he added.

“Yeah, exactly!” I concurred, liking his addition better than the original implications.

I came back over to the place the Sand Hut once stood. It was completely flattened. Where there had once been a sandbank with a (not so) lovely base made of sand walls now stood some floating furnaces, chests, and a crude (but functional) bed. We had made a pact not to sleep until all of us could. I was only a couple wool away from having four beds.

“Did you level this whole thing?” I gawked.

“Yeah.” 

“And I’m supposed to rebuild it? I don’t even know where to begin!” 

Jordan cut in. “Wait did you just- completely remove-” 

“Yep,” I answered. Jordan chucked. 

“The poor sand hut!” he lamented. When he said that, there was a slight whine in my comm. He was getting close to the island again.

“It was shite anyway,” Tom asserted. I made a pouty face and sulked back over to the furnaces and leaned them. I built that thing- with his help. Not completely my fault it looked not so good. 

The whine happened again. I could now see Jordan in his boat, wind in his hair and slightly sweaty from rowing. 

Tom laughed. “Look at your cape flapping majestically in the wind! You look like a proper adventurer.” Jordan landed, smiling and slightly red in the face, although I didn’t know if it was from exertion or the compliment. 

“So how big do you want this place? Not very big, I’m assuming?” I pressed Tom. 

He shrugged. “Well, you’re used to not very big, so-” 

Tucker’s mic crackled again as he spoke. “WOOWW. What is this? I’m off getting materials and-” All of a sudden, I heard Tucker shrieking “CREEPER!”, and an explosion so loud it caused my comm to spaz out. I felt all the air leave my lungs. 

“Tucker?”

“Tucker!” 

“TUCKER!?”

“TUCKER!”

We shouted to no avail.

“Maybe- maybe the explosion knocked his mic out, and he’s okay!” Tom said, panicked. He ran in a dead sprint towards the mine. Jordan followed him. I felt frozen in my tracks. Something was crumpling within me. I knew immediately that Tom was wrong. I think that he did, too. I found it in me to follow the boys into the mine. We ran down the stone steps towards where tucker had been. Tom got there before Jordan or I. We both jogged into a small, dark space. We saw Tom, kneeling on the ground, motionless. There was no body (thank god), no remains except for his items dropped on the ground and his hat, which Tom was holding in his hands. I have never seen Tom look more like a zombie than in that moment- cold and dead inside. The only way I was sure that he was still actually alive was the way his chest was rising and falling rapidly. I, on the other hand, couldn’t breathe. The need for oxygen was gone. The three of us stood there for a while, might have been 10 minutes,  staring at the stuff on the ground and the crater in the walls. Abruptly, Jordan scooped everything into his inventory and straightened up.

“I-I can’t take it anymore. I need some air,” he said shortly, and went back up the stairs.

“So do I,” I managed to say. I pulled Tom up by his collar; it was doing no good for him to sit down here and rot. He followed without protest. 

We made it up to the surface. I saw Jordan sitting on the grass. I joined him, plopping down without saying anything. Tom did the same, putting his face in his hands. I finally found it in me to breathe. The sunlight felt nice on my skin. 

“We’re a man down,” croaked Tom. I noticed a lump in his throat. 

“How are we going to defeat all the bosses and stuff now?  We’ve only got three people,” Jordan said quietly.

“We’ve got the Ender Dragon, the Elder Guardian, and the Wither, and-” Tom looked like he was freaking out. 

“I’m like, .5 of a person,” I admitted. Jordan laughed humorlessly. 

“You might as well get on that boat, and- and sail outta here!” Tom snapped. 

“Woah.” I stepped back, kind of hurt. I was really taking some blows today. Jordan put an arm around me protectively and looked at Tom reproachfully.

Tom blinked. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, looking bewildered. “I didn’t mean that. I was just-” 

He pulled on his hair. Tom lashes out when he’s feeling emotional. This was the most vulnerable I had ever seen him. His pitch black eyes were glittering with tears. His voice wobbled when he spoke. He seemed very close to breaking apart.

“We need to do something. To honor him,” Tom propositioned. Jordan and I nodded gravely. 

“Pour one out?” Jordan joked awkwardly. He really didn’t seem to like the atmosphere that had set upon us, so he took it upon himself to lighten the mood. Tom made a weird noise that was like a cross between a laugh and a cry. 

“I’m going to build him a grave.” He stood up, took some cobblestone, and crafted a suitable headstone for our fallen friend. He placed three walls on the ground with a post on top of the middle. He put the hat on top of the post sacredly, like it was an offering to a god. 

And as I was staring at it, I couldn’t help but make the observation.

It looks like a dick.

But I couldn’t say that.

Because there’s no one for me to make dick jokes with anymore. 

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Tom rubbed his hands in his face and sighed. He stared at Tucker’s grave, shaking his head. “What have I been saying? Don’t go in on your own! He kept adventuring on his own!”

“I don’t know that bringing another person would have helped, though. It probably would have just killed both of us,” Jordan brought up. Tom shuddered. 

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Not a lot happened after that. I went back to working on the house with Jordan’s help this time, and Tom went back down into the mine. 

“I just want to check it out some more,” he claimed. While he was down there, he figured he could probably mine a bit. I think that Mianite or Dianite or Ianite or somebody was looking down on us at that moment, because not long after that Tom found twelve diamonds. Twelve. Diamonds. It should have been a happy moment, but it was ruined by the gravity 

Tom emerged from the mines just as I finished placing chests in the new house. I was pretty happy with it. If there were two things I was good at, they were animal breeding and house making. I have a natural eye for symmetry and details that the boys missed somehow. 

“Woah, it looks amazing, guys!” Tom said, impressed. He seemed to be in a slightly better mood. I smiled to myself. 

“Thanks.” I started making beds, and was about to place them down when I noticed that I had made four out of habit. My heart sank all over again. I pushed the fourth bed into the corner. It reminded me of the lonely pig Jordan made fun of Tucker trying to shove into the pit a couple days ago. I put three beds in the center of the room.

“I’m completely shot,” Tom announced, kicking off his shoes and passing out on the bed in the middle. Jordan chuckled and clambered in next to him, maintaining a reasonable distance from Tom. I curled up on the left, near the bed that should have had my boyfriend in it. 

“Let’s all cuddle together,” suggested Tom. I had no clue if he’s serious or not. I think it was one of those “what if… ha ha… unless?” type things. 

“No thanks,” Jordan replied calmly, setting his glasses down on the furnace next to his bed. 

“Aww, come on, Jordy poo, you know you love me.” 

Jordan stayed silent, provoking Tom to wiggle up next to him. Jordan sighed defeatedly, looking up at our stone ceiling. He actually let Tom stay there for the rest of the night. Tom and I were both surprised by this- Jordan’s a fan of his personal space. I guess that he recognized that Tom needed comfort tonight. Maybe he secretly enjoys it (I think he does). Whatever the case was, I ended up getting quite a bit of space to myself. I didn’t really appreciate it, though.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

I lay awake that night, thinking about what Tom and Tucker had said about my contributions to the team.

I knew that I wasn’t good at fighting, so I stuck with what I was good at; raising animals, tending to crops, cooking the food, and letting the boys do all the dirty work. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing that stuff, but at the same time, I sometimes want a little more. But whenever I tried to help them,  I just got in the way. Was I really just deadweight? I certainly felt like it sometimes. Especially on the old island.  I felt like baggage, or more accurately, the lesser child. Mianite saw Tucker as the straight A son with a sports scholarship, and me as the daughter who really wasn’t good for anything except for occasionally helping Tucker. I didn’t direct that frustration towards my boyfriend- he did nothing wrong except for maybe not share some glory every once and awhile- , but it was still there. And Tom’s snide comments did nothing to help this. 

Speaking of Tom, I could hear him snoring softly. Clearly the trauma of today wasn’t too much to keep Tom from conking out almost immediately. I rolled over and smiled slightly. I was grateful that Tom was directing his total lack of respect for personal space at Jordan and not me. Jordan was lying on his back, hands folded on his stomach and eyes staring at the ceiling. 

“Sparklez?” I whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Do you… really think I'm useless?” It just sort of came out without me thinking. 

Jordan was silent for a second, then answered, “No, of course not.” 

“Okay. I know I’m not Tucker, but…”

“Sonja, you’re fine. Go to sleep,” Jordan said sleepily. I rolled back over. If there was one thing Jordan isn’t good at, it’s emotions. Specifically dealing with them, whether they belonged to him or someone else. I noticed he hadn’t done much outward processing of Tucker's death yet. He mostly kept quiet unless he was asking me where things should go or one-word replies to whatever Tom said. He didn’t strike me as a guy you could go to with your problems, unless they dealt with redstone or general crafting knowledge. 

 That’s something else I’m good at that no one else on the team is. I’m good at empathy. But what do the empathetics do when they need comfort? 

Turn to an empty bed, I guess.

Well, there’s only one person left who hasn’t written, and it’s Tom. So he’ll probably pick back up in the morning. 

~Sonja.

[peggysousfan]

Agent Carter An Au Series

Soooo you know that thing I said about making these chapters shorter... that was a lie lol Its actually the longest by far,3000+ words, but episode 1 is almost done with. It is very angsty, so you have been warned, but there is some fluff thrown in there. Enjoy!!

Peggys' POV:

The next morning I wake the same as yesterday, only a little earlier. I get up and shower, nurse poppet and get ready for work. Colleen is still ill, so shes still asleep. I leave her a note to make sure she eats and to drink some water. As I leave the building I see Daniel. Hes already down stairs, most likely heading to work.

"Daniel!" He stops in his tracks and turns around.

"Hey! You're up early. I thought you weren't meant to be at the office till 9?"

"Yes, I know, but I have to drop the little one off. I can't exactly take her to work with me." He laughs, and it seems like music to my ears... Stop, Peggy. Not now. "Uhm, wh-what are you doing up so early? Do you have to in the office at 8?" He chuckles.

"Uh, no I was just gonna go get a bite to eat."

"Oh."

"Do you want to join me?" I look at Stephanie, and then at him.

"How far is it from here?"

"Just up the road, I was headed to the Automat."

"Oh, well thats not far at all. I can always drop Steph off afterwards." He nods his head and smiles. We makes our way there and Angie comes to our table.

"Hey, English! Whos this you got with ya?" I laugh.

"Good Morning, Angie. This is Daniel a ...friend of mine. And this is Stephanie." As to announce her presence she starts cooing and giggling. I hesitate on friends, but I don't know why. We are friends, but I suppose I may want to be more...No. Peggy, stop. Stop. Right now.

"Awww shes so precious!!!" After a few moments of admiring the baby, she takes our orders. Once she leaves Steph begs for Daniel and starts to fuss for him. Which isn't the first time either. Once when Daniel was at work, she went the whole day crying and only settled down once she was held by him. Shes so attached, its absolutely adorable.

"Aww, come here little anjo." I hand her over to him and I can't help myself but to ask.

"What does that mean, Daniel? anjo?" He looks down at the baby, with an embarrassed smile on his face.

"Sorry I didn't realize I was... It means angel, in Portuguese."

"Oh theres no need to apologize, I was only curious. You say certain words to her or about her and I never understood them." He furrows his brow and I explain. "Well anjo, for starters, and then... linda..?" He laughs and its so contagious.

"Its not what you think. Linda isn't meant as in, thats her name. It means beautiful." I smile brightly at him as Steph starts giggling again and plays with his tie. When our food arrives we eat, but all to soon we finish. "Okay, I better head to the office before they saying anything." I nod my head and embrace him. I reach over and fix his tie. "Oh oops, I forgot she did that."

"Sorry, it was bothering me." We laugh. "I'll see you at work." When I drop off poppet, I head to the office and its busy. Everyone is working on finding Howard, and I'm not entirety sure if I want them to. Selling weapons to enemy states is not something he would do. But its not as if I can talk to him and ask for his side of the story. The whole day is filled with nothing but 'Carter file these reports' or "Carter get the lunch orders ready' or 'hey sweetheart the coffee needs to be refilled'. Ugh, I'm not a bloody secretary, I'm a federal Agent and should be treated as such. Imbeciles. I leave the office and take dinner orders for those staying late, then I return and have sometime to myself. I miss Steph, but I could use some time away from the pig headed men at working and a crying baby.  I read the paper as I sit in my booth. There a picture of Steve, and an article about Howard.

"I met him once at a USO show in Passaic, you could eat him with a spoon." A shiver runs down my spine at that thought. No thank you, Angie, you can keep him.

"Yes, I understand he was quite something." I put down the paper and look at my tea. Quite an arse, more like...

"You alright English?"

"Fine Angie, just work."

"Fellas at the phone company giving you a hard time?" She asks, understand exactly what its like to be put down by her own colleges.

"No more than usual, it just... during the war I had a sense of purpose, responsibility.  But now It feels like I'm connecting the call but I never get the chance to make them. Do you see what I mean?" She looks around and then sits across from me.

"I had an audition today, uptown, Took two trains and  they gave me the hook. I guess I ain't. But we all gotta pay our dues. Even if it takes a while. You've got talent, its only a matter of time before Broadway call."

"I'm afraid I can't carry a tune," I say carrying on our little metaphor.

"Doesn't matter when you got legs like yours." And I laugh. A man starts to complain and be a real wanker, apparently hes a regular customer, and he treats Angie horrible. Ugh, men. Angie leaves and I get up to get a slice of pie. When I return theres a note 'Meet in the Alley in 5 minutes' Odd. I eat my pie and head out the back door. When I do, I'm confronted by a man in a hat, it turns out to be Jarvis; but hes not alone. A car revs its engine and I run, but when I reach a door, its locked. I pull out my gun and shoot the tire; and out pops Howard.

"I know, I should've called. Did ya miss me?" Oh this oaf is going t be the death of me. Jarvis changes the tire, and we ride away to the docks.

Howard explains he had a vault that was broken into, and someone cleaned out all of his deadly inventions. He asks me to spy for him, to catch the person who stole his weapons, and clear his name.

"Howard, you're asking me to become a traitor in order to prove you're not one, you do see the irony?"

"Oh c'mon on, Peg. I know they're not using you right over there." Well hes not wrong. God I hate it when hes right. "You want a mission that matter, this is it. My technology in the hands of the next nut that wants to be the new Red Skull... You have no idea how bad that could be. And right now, you're the only one who can stop that." I look over at him, and already know I'm in over my head, but none the less he is my friend. We get out of the car and walk on the docks. "Some of them have already been sold overseas, thats where I'm going. But the rest are here somewhere, and thats where you come in. Rumor is one of the nasty ones is hitting the black market in the next day or two."

"What is it?"

"Just a piece of paper. My formula for molecular nitromene. This much could level a city block." He takes my hand and balls it in a fist. "And I'm not talking small ones, I'm talking avenues."

"I'm going to regret this aren't I?" He says I will and tells me about Jarvis.

"I owe ya one, pal." We hug and he gets on the boat. "There are only a dozen fences that can handle something this hot, and you just gotta learn which one... and I figured, you'd have no trouble finding a man."

"The trick is finding the right one." He drives away and Jarvis takes me to my daughter. Once I have her, I head home and get some rest.

The Next Day:

Peggy's POV:

I wake up early in the morning, same as yesterday, and do my morning routine. I can't wait until this weekend, Ill keep my promise to Howard, but I won't neglect time with my daughter. Here lately shes been very vocal, and I know its too early, but I fell as if shes trying to say her first word. My only fear is that I may never hear it because I'm working... Balancing motherhood and work is a real pain in the arse. I nurse her her breakfast and lay her down. Since Colleen is home, she has offered to take care of her while I'm at work.

"Try and not work too hard, Peg." I kiss Stephanie's cheek one last time before giving her to Colleen.

"I won't I promise. Now you two get some rest. I'll be back before I'm gone." And with that I leave. When I enter the office, I notice Daniel, and he has a set of photos of Howard, one with him on a boat; oh no. Oh I don't want to do this. I swear if my relationship with Daniel is harmed in anyway because of Howard, I'm going to kill him.

"You know you are expect to go home at night." I say. He looks at me confused and then chuckles.

"I know, but most fugitive cases are solved within the fist 72 hours. And with Stark on the sailing into the sunset, maybe this is where it starts." Hes really invested in this case. I know its only to impress the Chief and make his worth known, but God I wish it wasn't this case. I say what I can to throw Daniel off of Howard's trail. I tell him Howard hates they water, and about the time I knocked him into the Thames because he tried to kiss me on VE Day. Soon I notice Thompson and others rushing to the conference room, they've had a small break on one of Howard's inventions.

"Somethings up."

"Yeah, Thompson's working on his next medal. Got word of a fence trying to sell one of Stark's inventions. Club owner named Spider Ramon."

"Wheres it happening?"

"Need to know only. Kind of gives you a warm feeling, doesn't it." How can I get into that private meeting, and withdraw information without them knowing...? I have an Idea.

"Can I get you a refill?" I quickly grab Daniels mug and rush to get the coffee pot. I try to shake of the electricity running through my hand where we touched. I give him his refill off of a tray.

"Uhmmm.. Thanks?" I give him a small smile and head into the room.

I look over at a file while filling up the cups, when suddenly the chief speaks. I tell him I'm unwell, and that its 'lady's things', Oh its so amusing to see grown men squirm. I take the rest of the day off and go shopping and then head home. I quickly hide the bag with the dress and wig, before Colleen sees. When I enter, I see shes asleep, and so is Steph. Oh my little one. I pick her up and she snuggles against my chest. I kiss the top of her curly brown head and let her rest against me. I read more on Spider Ramon and his club, and after a while, she squirms around, so I let her look at the files. Shes so interested in words, its quite amusing.

Before I know it, night has fallen. I nurse her and lay her back down then I get ready to leave. She didn't eat much, Colleen must have fed her earlier. As I enter the club, its bustling with music, dancers, cocktails, and photographers. Damn. I hide my face as I make my way through. A man come up to me and asks for a dance, but I turn him down. Then I notice a man head up stairs, and a bodyguard below. Thats where I need to go. I persuade the man to let me pass and I put on my Sweet Dream lipstick, just in case. I knock on the door and peek in.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Ramon, is this a bad time?" I ask in a perfect American accent.

"We'll only know after its over. Bring the rest of you in here." He says as he sets down a book.

"I hope you don't find me forward."

"Oh I'm not the judgmental type."I enter the room and try to play calm and innocent, admiring small things on the desk after, I close the side doors.

"I know you're in possession of a certain chemical formula." He drops his collective, flirty, act and gets defensive, and tries to send me away. "Its okay, lets make this a game. You seem like you might like games." I sit on the edge of his desk. I tell him I have some fiends who would be interested in buying it, and he goes along with it. I sit on his lap and go along with my story, asking if he has it on him.Instead of answering, he gets flirty and kisses me. Someone opens the door but closes again, apparently not wanting to 'disturb' his boss. Raymond falls back in the chair, knocked out. "Well that was premature."I look around the room and find a safe. When I use my watch to crack it, I see a small glowing orb inside. Oh no... I hurry and call Jarvis.

"Jarvis residence."

"They've weaponized it." I say plainly. I'm sort of in a hurry here, Mr. Jarvis.

"Ms. Carter?"

"Do you know anyone else handling high explosives at this time of night?" I snap.

Basically, if anything touches the core or gives it a small crack, boom. Lovely. I hurry along and place it in my bag.  I have to create a cocktail of sodium hydrogen acetate to deactivate it. If I don't its likely to explode and kill hundreds. Delightful, just delightful. As I get ready to leave, the man comes back and sees his boss passed out.

"What?" He starts to come in and advance at me, but I stop him. I take a stapler form the table and drag him into a closet. Dammit. Thompson and the others are already here. I find the man that had approached me before, and danced to keep the Agents from seeing me. Quickly I leave and head home.

"Peg? Is that you?" Damn I quickly throw off the wig and enter the room.

"Hey. I just changed Steph and she went right back to sleep. Shes does that a lot when you're not around." I smile at her and see how pale she is.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little better, still have a fever though.."

"I'll make you some tea." I walk over to the stove and set the water to boil in the kettle.

"Wow, Peg, you look like a million bucks. Wait... Did you go out, out?"

"In a manner of speaking." I walk closer.

"Wow, I'm really proud of you. I want you to tell me all about it, in the morning." She turns over and goes back to sleep, poor girl. I peek at poppet before changing, grabbing everything I need for the sodium hydrogen acetate, and then head to the bathroom with the bomb. If any harm overcomes to my child, I'll come back from the dead and haunt Howard to the end of his days. I mix up the solution and poor out my perfume, and replace it. As I pull out the core, it hits she shell. Bloody hell. I rush and spray it before it blows. Thankfully its diffused. I put everything under the sink and breath a sigh. I get ready to take a drink of whiskey, that is, until I hear a crash.

"Colleen?" I get up and hurry into the room. "Colleen." I rush over to the bed and pull back the covers, and I stop dead in my tracks. A bullet hole is lodged in the middle of her forehead. No...no no no!! I look around and see Stephanie, and shes starting to cry. Cautious I glance at my surroundings, and I see him, right behind me in the mirror. I quickly turn around and kick him in the groin, but the guns goes off. Thank God it didn't hit the baby, but  it was only by a few feet. Now I'm pissed. I take the gun and hit him right upside the head. Advancing further I grab his arm and upper cut his face. Stephanie is now sobbing her little heart out. For a second I'm distracted, and he takes advantage. He punches me, and I fall back, then pushes me into the wall. He tries to punch me again, but I open the fridge door and he hits it instead. With his forearm on my throat I grab at him, and notice a scar on his throat. Odd...

I elbow him on the side of his head, and take advantage. We twist and turn, and he grabs my arm and holds my head above the stove's flame. Steph is now sobbing, no doubt waking everyone in the building. I gather up my strength and kick him in the chin and force his hand into the flame. He releases an attempted scream while I take an iron skillet and hit him. He falls back and advances with a knife. Luckily I use the skillet and prevent my stomach from being sliced. Poppet continues to scream and he looks at her with a menacing smirk. Oh I don't think so! I hit him again and again and toss him out the window. When I look down, hes gone. Dammit. I rush over to the baby and pick her up to sooth her. "Shhhh... Shhhh... Its alright my love." I bounce her up and down, and then notice Colleen. I starts to cry myself and sit on the bed. This wasn't suppose to happen. I'm so caught up in my own sobbing, and Steph's, that I don't hear the door being knocked on; or it opening.

"Peg!" Daniel rushes over to me and places a hand on my cheek. "Peggy whats wro-" He stops and notices Colleen. "Oh my God..." I look away from her and hold my little girl close to me. This could have been her, and it almost was...At this thought, I only cry harder. He doesn't ask what happened, instead he holds me tight and takes us to his apartment. He takes me to his room and I lie down with Stephanie. I can't believe I almost lost her....I look into Daniels eyes as he stands at the door.  I grab for his hand and he takes it, and hes the last thing I see before I fall asleep.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

648-649: "Making a Sortie! The Legendary Hero Usoland!" and "The Fierce Battle Coming to the End! Lucy vs Chinjao!"

*looks into the camera like in The Office*

The fight between Luffy and Don Chinjao is finally over! I think after what happened, Luffy might have found a new friend. Law also made a stressful phone call to The Krusty Krab Sunny and ordered delivery of one ship to Green Bit.

Zoro and Franky have teamed up with Sol at Resistance HQ in Flower Field, and if Usopp keeps perpetuating his fantastic bullshit, the entire Strawhat crew will be elevated to God status in the Tontatta tribe.

Slightly worried about Law and the Strawhats stuck on Sunny but I’m seventy percent certain they will pull through and won’t be captured by any Donquixote family affiliates. (The thirty percent left over remains a huge, nagging doubt.)

Luffy’s Tough Love Fight Therapy

The Colosseum showdown between Luffy and Don Chinjao picked up at the start of episode 649.

The action was fast and furious. Luffy pulled out all his quick moves: jet pistol, jet gatling, jet stamp gatling. All defended against by Chinjao. The crowd went wild. It was one of the greatest matches the Colosseum had ever seen! Some cheered for Lucy. Others cheered for Chinjao. The atmosphere was electric.

“You’re quite a fighter,” Don Chinjao said.

“Yeah, you’re strong too, as I thought,” Luffy answered. You know. Being honest as he is.

Don Chinjao totally overreacted. “WHAT U SAY? STRONG? U TRYIN TO INSULT MEH??”

Luffy was, quite rightly, bewildered. “Wtf, all I said was that you’re strong?”

Apparently, this was a grave insult to Don Chinjao. A huge kick in the ego. Chinjao had been much stronger before.

“I’m no better than a wolf without its fangs now. A skin-headed man without his drill. A brat like you can’t understand how miserable I feel living my life like this. I’m frustrated, disappointed and sad. But you can never understand.”

I laughed when Luffy yelled, “How can I understand? You keep messing with me without explaining anything!” (He’s just saying what we were all thinking, right?)

“You really want to know why I’ve become like this?”

“No, I’m not that interested.” (Lmao! We meet again, harsh Luffy.)

“Well, I’ll tell you before you die, since you insist.” 

Don Chinjao is one of those old dudes that is TELLING you that long and rambling story even though you have showed zero interest and have been glancing at your watch for the past half hour.

Suddenly, Luffy the Fight Therapist was unwilling and open for business.

According to Chinjao, Garp punched his head in thirty years ago. Literally. As in Don Chinjao once looked like Dan Akroyd from 90s sci-fi comedy, Coneheads. 

That was until his resplendent, pointy napper met Garp’s fist.

The whole flashback was hilariously weird. Turns out Chinjao’s drill-like bonce was the only means to access his remote family treasure vault under an ice sheet. Once Garp took away the key, Chinjao fell into a deep depression. Heartbroken, he retired from piracy, a lifeless shell, just idling away time.

That was kind of sad. I felt for Chinjao then. He’s like the model of the old, proud working man who suffers a physical injury, can no longer work and slips into anger and depression. Since Chinjao knows and values nothing but strength, wealth and power, he cannot and will not see another way forward. Unlike Luffy, Don Chinjao got his ass beat and never found the strength to crawl out of the gutter and retrain.

Instead, he decided to lay the blame for his misfortune squarely at Luffy’s feet.

Luffy, naturally, was outraged. “Wtf are you talking about? Grandpa and I are different people. Look, mate. I’m busy. I’m gonna win Ace’s fruit at any cost and become the Pirate King. I have no time to be your therapist.”

Then Chinjao made two Big Mistakes.

Wow, Chinjao has Really Specific Taste

Mistake #1?

Chinjao laughed off Luffy’s chances at becoming Pirate King. The reason was typical crotchety old man talk: “the media lionised you worst generation squirts and it emboldened you. But none of you are strong enough to sail across the sea *we* fought on. After Whitebeard’s death, I ain’t expecting much. The only guy who looks good is Blackbeard Teach.”

At the mere mention of Teach, Luffy’s eyes became two circles.

“If I had to pick one, it’s him. But anyway, if you’re only good enough to compete against me, just give up!”

Oh, Chinjao, I thought. Ohhhhhhhh, you just goofed. You goofed big time. You do not mention Teach in a positive light within Luffy’s earshot. You just do not. Teach was the asshole who captured Ace and handed him to the Marines. He shares Public Enemy Number One status with Akainu. Tell Luffy you believe Teach will become Pirate King and your fate is sealed.

Mistake #2?

Chinjao’s fighting style is kinda lame. People who spin during fights in shounen anime are always fodder (the one that sticks out is that spinning top guy in the HxH Heaven’s Arena arc.) This was not his mistake. It’s just a side thought.

The Teach comment pushed Luffy’s buttons. But what Chinjao said next was even worse.

“You’re not too bad but if a guy like Rayleigh chose a brat at this level as the flag bearer for this generation, he’s not as smart as he used to be. The Marines were smart when they squelched the most evil one of the lot: Ace. That man had demon’s blood in his veins. Do you think you can beat the Marine admirals, the Yonkou and surpass Roger? That’s impossible!”

Demon’s blood? Most evil one of the lot?

*cue Kill Bill red-mist music*

“Stop whining over one punch!” Luffy yelled, as he wound up a Thor Elephant Gun attack. “I can’t count how many times I got punched by Grandpa!”

When the attack connected and that spike popped back out of Chinjao’s head, I laughed like a drain. Luffy hit Chinjao so hard, he turned the clock back thirty years.

I’m sure Chinjao will be ecstatic. Take the L with good grace, mate. Your conehead is back! Go and wreak havoc on the high seas again. Recoup that treasure. The world is your oyster!

Up on the balcony, Bartolomeo still has not revealed his connection with Luffy. Cavendish is still throwing a strop. Bellamy is lurking in the shadows, clearly in two minds about his new assassination mission. And Burgess, thanks to Cavendish and his big mouth, knows that Luffy is Lucy.

Thanks, Cavendish.

(And Burgess really does walk around chortling and flexing all the time. He’s like an evil All Might.)

Thus the Legendary Heroes of Green Bit were Born

This cast reunion based on Usopp’s total bullshit was so much fun.

I loved Usopp and Robin’s expressions when the Tontatta took them to their airport. They were starry-eyed. And so they should’ve been. It was a miniature version of a proper, fully-equipped modern airport. I wouldn’t be surprised if the place had Duty Free, passport control and Starbucks concessions.

But it was not a holiday destination Usopp and Robin were flying out to. The entire airport had been overtaken by a military operation. Cub, the yellow bee squad leader, and Bian, the pink bee squad leader, reported for duty. Usopp picked up the bee planes and kept saying, “I wanna show this to Luffy.” (They are such good pals, it warms my heart.)

Unfortunately, Usopp and Robin were too big to travel by bee plane, so they had to take the local number 20 bus to Dressrosa. The buses were cute, vulpix-like foxes with huge, fluffy tails you can sink right into for a comfortable ride.

While they made their way through the tunnel, Master Roshi - the pervy little Tontatta chief - emerged from Robin’s cleavage. He bore dire warnings. “I should tell you because you will risk your lives for our cause.”

Usopp was thinking, “I ain’t gonna die for you but go on...”

“Doflamingo has been causing our tribe a lot of pain recently, but our connection with him goes way back before the last decade. Nine hundred years ago!”

Then the narrator interrupted and I was like, “So you’re just going to leave it there when I was about to get Doflamingo family history? I am not at all mad about this. No, sir. Not one bit.”

The action cut to Flower Field, where Franky and Sol descended a secret stairwell. Said stairwell led to the Resistance Army HQ! Some soldiers ran up to Sol and addressed him as “Captain”, so Sol is a Big Deal in the Resistance.

Franky was like, “Why are all these small people swarming me?”

Sol explained. The Tontatta people were called fairies in town, how they moved faster than the human eye could detect and how they were immensely strong. Franky put two and two together and realised one of them stole Zoro’s sword!

And guess who reached Flower Field before Franky? Before any of the other Strawhats!

That’s right. It’s our boy Zoro. (So proud he learned to follow directions.)

Zoro, hilariously, had made himself at home and was watching Luffy vs Chinjao on the big screen TV. He was absolutely fuming. Why hadn’t Luffy told him there was a fighting competition? THE BETRAYAL. Will he get over it? Probably.

He must’ve been distracted by the fight, as he completely forgot 

Then some intelligence scouts ran up. They had a report for Sol. “We already know what our enemies and Sugar are doing!” (Sugar? Who dat?) “And with the battle close at hand, some legendary heroes have appeared at Tontatta: Usoland and Robiland. They have brought with them Luffyland, Zoroland, Namiland, Sanland, Chopperland, Fraland and Boneland.”

Franky and Zoro exchanged a Look. They knew instantly Usopp was on the bullshit wagon again.

“Um, I think I’m Zoroland,” Zoro said. (Lmao, better get into character quick.)

“And I’m Fraland. Nice to meet you!” Franky added.

It was round about then that Zoro remembered that Nami, Chopper and Brook were in serious trouble back on Sunny. He now wants to skip the battle (he doesn’t yet know about) and rescue the other Strawhats.

I wonder how this will go? Wicka did say she would let Zoro go back to Sunny once he’d taken her back to Resistance HQ. But Leo and the others back on Green Bit were suspicious of Robin and Usopp escaping. Will they let Zoro go or will he have to fight the battle first? Hmmm... I’m fifty/fifty about this.

God damn it, Caesar

*curb your enthusiasm music kicks in*

Meanwhile, back on Green Bit, Law was under heavy bombardment. Fujitora took a step back in this episode and Doflamingo stole the limelight. The cool music from Enies Lobby (as I call it in my head. I have no idea what the real title is) played as Doflamingo pursued Law. 

As Doflamingo was about to land a finishing blow, Caesar shrieked, “OI, JOKER! Before you kill Law, I need you to take something back for me. Law took my heart and I don’t know what he’s gonna do with it!”

Doflamingo looked round like, “Wtf... are you talking about?” And while he was distracted, Law shambled his way out of trouble.

Doflamingo was furious. FFS, CAESAR. I bet he wanted to say that but couldn’t. Gotta keep your cash cow scientist happy..

Please send help. Our art teacher has locked us in class.

Unfortunately, Law didn’t have time for a breather. He had an urgent phone call to make.

While Nami, Chopper and Brook were brought up to speed on the Humans Turning Into Toys situation by Giolla, the ship’s DDM rang. Chopper hilariously ignored Giolla and answered the call (she was maaaaad).

It was Law. He said, “Is that Nami-san?”

To my disappointment, Chopper did not answer, “No, this is Patrick.”

“I don’t care what’s going on over there,” Law said. “Listen carefully. I need you to sail Sunny to Green Bit right now. I wanna leave Caesar with you guys. No time to explain. Bye!”

Okay, so I added in the “bye” part. Law abruptly hung up.

I like how he has faith that Nami, Chopper and Brook will be able to handle the situation, but their weapons have been rendered usless by Giolla’s Art Art Fruit power. I have no idea how they’re going to get out of this one (and I’m keen to see Oda’s creative solution).

The shitshow that is Law’s current existence continued once he hung up. Doflamingo is Doflamingo. He caught up with Law again near the end of episode 648. With that slasher smile, he shot Law with a string bullet and demanded to know who Law had called for help.

Doflamingo must be confident he has Law where he wants him because he spilled the beans on his diabolical plan to snare Luffy. “Give me back Caesar’s heart already. It’s so meaningless for you to keep hanging on here. Strawhat has already walked into the trap I set. He’s fighting in the gladiatorial contest at the Colosseum. Tough contenders from all over the world come to fight in it. Outlaws only. It’s a deadly competition. When someone loses, it’s a one way ticket to hell! He will never come out of the Colosseum alive! It’s the end of your alliance, Law. Just give up!”

I wonder if Law will use the heart as leverage. Maybe he’ll give up Caesar’s heart to escape, regroup and stop Doflamingo the old-fashioned way: with Tontatta military might. (Doflamingo better not kill him off...)

Don’t worry, Chinjao. Luffy will beat you until you feel better! :D

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-O 37: Gotta go fast!

I’m gonna sprinkle in some chat segments from the live watch that @miyukomatsuda and I did of the episode as it aired, but this is mostly my watch of the RiderTime sub.

(I’m also hoping to do a watch of some of the recent episodes again, but with the O-T subs, so that I can get a more… well phrased translation.)

As always, spoilers for Zi-O episode 37 below the cut.

~~~~~

So, a giant meteorite just hit. It doesn’t have a Rider inside this time, though! No, it has Worms! Shapeshifters! Who are basically the Zygons!

(I don’t go to Doctor Who anymore, but that’s what I’ve been told, and the impression I got from Marcosatsu’s History of Kabuto vid.)

Team 9-to-5 are watching a news broadcast at breakfast about the meteorite – aaaand nope, newscaster’s a Worm, much to the poor cameraman’s surprise.

Cressy: Woz: Welp! Found out who we’ve got this week!

Miyuko: “My turn to do things.”

Miyuko: “Also, we dealt with the gas leak.”

Miyuko: “We should all be sane again.”

(The idiot ball was in full force during the Kiva Arc. We will never let it rest.)

~~~~~

Sougo, Tsukuyomi, and Geiz are headed off to see where that second meteorite hit, the one with the worms on it, when a third one shoots down, in the other direction. So, off they go, splitting the party. Again.

Poor Geiz, he’s with Woz again. Who, by the way, is nowhere to be seen, having ditched the team to go do his recap.

At… the Hachiko statue.

Huh.

And the key player for this fortnight’s worth of episodes… Kamen Rider Gatack – Arata Kagami.

Who is clearly in a state of “Not this again...” as another meteorite streaks by. Or it could be that one that split the party, it’s a little hard to say.

~~~~~

They used part of the Kabuto opening – with the beetle wings – to cut into the OP this time! Nice touch!

I was host for the stream Miyuko and I did when we watched the Raw, and I BLINKED AND MISSED THE FORM RUN THROUGH that time! And here I pride myself on noticing differences in the OPs!

But Kamen Rider Woz’s base form has been replaced by his Ginga form, with the ‘base’ version, Ginga Finaly shown in full, and the Planet and Sun forms shown in bust form.

~~~~~

And FINALLY, they notice that the Another Rider’s aren’t erasing the previous Riders from history anymore! They haven’t been doing that for a while, guys. I mean, if they were still doing it, you wouldn’t have been able to have all of your senpai help you out in the movie last December… you know, shortly before you moved into having Future Riders for a while, and then back into the older Legend Riders.

You might write it off as ‘odd’, or ‘paradoxes have messed with space-time nearly beyond repair’, but I still say that time travel doesn’t work like you think it does.

I will hold my ‘they have been faking it’ theory until absolutely proven otherwise, folks.

…and I’m still going to be using it in ReUnited, anyway. ~Fanfiction land says I can do what I want.~

Besides, Sougo’s having fun! He’s getting to meet all of these Kamen Riders, after all!

…Sougo, kitty, I’m pretty sure you still don’t quite get how serious some of this is, but you get a solid B for effort.

~~~~~

Cressy: THEY FINALLY REALIZE THAT THEY AREN’T ERASING PEOPLE ANYMORE

Miyuko: YOU DUMBASSES

Miyuko: Mouri: DAMNIT SHIMOMIYA STOP MAKING ME HANDLE LORE

~~~~~

At the third landing site…

Woz. Woz you are so unbelievably petty. “I will be giving the orders around here, let’s go.” For crying out loud, Woz, just work as a team with Geiz, please.

So, off they go, into battle against a swarm of Worms using Faiz and Kikai!

~~~~~

Miyuko: if sougo goes to space i’m gonna yell that I called it

~~~~~

SOUGO IS SO DUMB.

SOUGO. You already knew that they could copy people. You SAW one do it on tv. So why would you assume that the people working at the crash site, where that broadcast came from, were normal humans?

Sougo, PLEASE.

Also, it looks like the Worms agree with me: right before they drop their disquises, they’re giving him this look like “Wow, this kid is dumb.”

And before Sougo bothers to transform, shots fly from off screen~!

Hey there, Gatack! Nice to see you’re doing okay!

~~~~~

Meanwhile, over with Woz and Geiz, we’ve got them landing finishers on a pair of Worms… but there’s still more of them. And, as Woz finally bothers to mention…

Worms can go faster than you can see when they get stronger.

(I agree with Geiz’s frustration at not having been told this sooner! WOZ!!)

Good thing they’ve got Revive Typhoon and Shinobi~~!

~~~~~

Back with Sougo and Kagami… They finish off a mass of Worms, but something red knocks them down.

Something – sorry, someone – that Kagami calls ‘Kageyama’.

Enter PunchHopper.

And with his entrance, Kagami goes into Gatack’s cast off Rider form – and right into Clock Up.

~~~~~

Cressy: “Hey, new kid, how fast can you go?”

Cressy: Actually, super speed is a problem for Sougo!

Miyuko: Sougo: UHHHHHHH

Miyuko: He has to hide

Cressy: Because he couldn’t keep up with Revive so

~~~~~

The battle starts to deal some collateral damage to the infrastructure, leading to rubble starting to fall towards a mother and child.

Tsukuyomi says no.

A stopwatch ticks.

The rubble freezes in midair, letting the civilians escape.

Tsukuyomi sees something.

Herself, younger, and three people facing away from the cameras viewpoint. At least one is an adult – presumably male, in an outfit that looks an awful lot like the one Swartz wore in 2009. The other two… I think the one to the left of the screen is a young girl, with pigtails. The one on the right looks to be an adult male… and it’s very grainy, but that style of dress looks like a black and white version of what Sougo’s uncle wears.

Of course, she only focuses in on young her and almost-definitely-Swartz.

Please, Toei, Shimomiya, I am begging you, do not let anyone be related. We’ve got both time travel and amnesia going on in here already, we do not want you to go that route!

~~~~~

Swartz sees this from a nearby roof, and notes that her powers are getting stronger, and soon they’ll completely awaken.

Someone asks what will happen when they do.

~~~~~

Miyuko: **YELLS**

Miyuko: TSUKASA

Cressy: Tsukasa: Sup.

Miyuko: WERE YOU OFF GETTING LAID TSUKASA

Cressy: Look at that posture

Cressy: Daiki showed up.

Cressy: he def was.

~~~~~

Tsukasa: “So… you’re connected to that girl somehow. I’ve been doing some investigating…”

Swartz: “Oh, yeah, sure. Do what you want… If you can.” (he says in an ominous tone, ominously.)

Tsukasa: “Thanks. I’ll do just that.”

~~~~~

Back on the ground, Sougo… is getting his ass handed to him. But! He does have the realization that the speed PunchHopper and Gatack are moving at is similar to Geiz Revive Typhoon… and he’s figured out a way to counter that.

It used to be that he was only looking one move ahead when he used Zi-O II’s precog abilities.

He’s looking ahead three here.

Sougo knows he won’t be able to react in time for the first two strikes, but the third…

On the third he can time a strike of his own.

And he knocks PunchHopper down.

Gatack tries to finish him off – but a red blur takes the hit.

Another Kabuto has made his appearance, and it looks like he’s Sou Yaguruma, former alias KickHopper. He grabs PunchHopper, and nyooms right on out of there.

~~~~~

Miyuko: OH FUCK IT’S ONE FO THE HOPPER BROS

Cressy: OH MY GOD ANOTHER KABUTO IS ONE OF THE HOPPER BROS

Miyuko: KAGAMIII

Cressy: OR A WORM OF ONE OF THEM

Miyuko: IS IT TIME FOR HIM TO SUFFER (We saw one was a worm

Miyuko: (shame we uh

Miyuko: (remember the rider sona

~~~~~

(Miyuko’s at least watched some Kabuto, but not very far. I, on the other hand, have seen exactly none, and would have no idea which one we saw in the cold open.)

~~~~~

Now then, we jump to Kagami explaining the situation to Woz and Sougo at the shop, giving them a basic run down of who the Hell Brothers are, along with showing them pictures. Pictures of the terribly dated late ‘00’s Hot Topic discount bin wardrobes that those two wore.

Kagami: So, the PunchHopper is definitely a Worm mimicking the original.

Woz: How can you know?

~~~~~

Miyuko: Woz intensifies

Miyuko: “Pretty sure he’s dead.”

Cressy: “So, yeah, he’s dead, but. uh. Apparently not anymore.”

Miyuko: “Fuck if I know, guys.”

Miyuko: Shibuya!

Miyuko: FLASHBACK TO KABUTO

Cressy: “Also, it’s really weird that Shibuya exists again.”

Miyuko: “Wait what”

Miyuko: Sougo: :)

Miyuko: Woz: “THE FUCK?!”

~~~~~

So, yeah, the timelines are a mess here. In 1999, in Kabuto, Shibuya was destroyed by a meteorite – one carrying the Worms. It’s … incredibly intact here.

OH. DUUUHHHH. That’s why Woz was at the Hachiko Statue!

It’s at Shibuya station.

WOW, I feel dumb. I remembered who Hachiko was, but didn’t catch the link as to why Woz would be there until just now.

Also, Sougo, I get that you were born in 2000, but. Like. That was only one year later. I thought your only decent subject was history! If this happened in the current timeline, you ought to know about it!

~~~~~

At an overlook, Geiz finds Tsukuyomi, having been told about her using her time powers again, and she tells him that she remembered something. Her mother and father, and ‘another man’.

… wait SHIT I said that the seated man’s outfit looked a lot like Junichiro’s, didn’t I? ABORT MISSION! NO, NO, NO! CALL IT OFF! STOP THE RIDE, I WANNA GET OFF!

Tsukasa appears on the scene. “Hey, so. Do you want to take a look and see what was going on back there? I’m trying to find the source of why the fabric of space and time is getting holes poked in it, so if you want to come along…”

… Okay, so he says ‘distorted,’ according to the RT subs, but it amounts to the same thing.

Geiz thinks this is a terrible idea, but Tsukuyomi wants to know who she is. So she goes with him.

Er, Tsuka- Tsukasa? I think you are a poster child for ‘sometimes you are better off not knowing who you used to be’, just as much as you are for ‘don’t lean too hard into the world-destruction prophecies.’ You may want to rethink your stance on this.

Mind you, you’re also a shining example of ‘there’s no escaping destiny’ and ‘you can’t thwart stage one’, so I guess that ship has already sailed.

~~~~~

Miyuko: TSUKASA’S UP TO THINGS

Cressy: Tsukasa: “GUYS, QUIT FUCKING WITH THE TIMELINE. YOU’RE MAKING MY JOB AND THE DENLINER CREW’S JOBS THAT MUCH HARDER”

~~~~~

So, a quick call between Geiz and Sougo, and we switch back to the Sougo and Woz team. (Man, we’re really getting the groups together this week, aren’t we?)

They’re confronted by Kageyama – who, yes, is a Worm. And he admits it. But he still has the original Kageyama’s memories as a human, and he wants them to help his brother. Worm or human, he can’t stand to see Yaguruma as an Another Rider – as a monster. They’ve seen too much hell for him to want any more.

Woz: My lord, this is clearly a trap.

Sougo: You need to start trusting people, Woz. Besides, we want to help save Yaguruma, too, don’t we? :)

Except that that is not his usual ‘This is going fine!’ smile. That is a smile of ‘he knows what’s going on.’

… You know, So Okuno’s really grown into his role, here. I think he’ll be able to do pretty well once he graduates from Sougo.

(He’s grown into his role, if not his clothing. Seriously, wardrobe department, could you let him wear clothes that fit properly? Why was this whole ‘everything is minimum a size and a half too big’ thing a decision?)

ANYWAY. THIS is a good scene for the instrumental of Toki no Ouja.

Also, you can hear the belts and chains Kageyama’s wearing well before you see them.

~~~~~

A quick interlude to Junichiro, back at the shop, having just fixed a radio. He goes to make sure it’s actually fixed, and turns it to the news.

There’s a large meteor headed for the center of Tokyo. And it’s much larger than the previous ones that have hit.

…

WAIT WHAT

(cue shot of said meteor in space)

~~~~~

Miyuko: OH MY GOD THEY ARE GOING TO SPACE

~~~~~

And now, to a totally-not-suspicious definitely-not-a-trap perfectly-harmless warehouse.

Sougo: So, Yaguruma’s supposed to be in here, right? (proceeds to walk in, with his back towards the guy who literally calls himself one of the Hell Brothers, like an idiot)

KAGEYAMA GOES TO STRANGLE HIM FROM BEHIND. BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES.

But he doesn’t get to – because Kagami bodychecks him away.

Kagami: “Kid, NO! You’re too naive! Walking into a trap like this!”

Kageyama: “Ahahaha… I mean, yeah, it’s a trap, but it’s not for the brat.”

Another Kabuto SLAMS into Kagami.

Kageyama: “We’re after you.”

Kagami and Kageyama both transform.

~~~~~

Cressy: THANK YOU KAGAMI

Miyuko: Aw yiss

Miyuko: Shoutout to Mouri USING THE RETURNING LADS

Cressy: STRAIGHT INTO CAST OFF

Cressy: UNLIKE INOUE

~~~~~

PunchHopper LUNGES at Sougo, who is just standing there – there’s a clicking sound – and a massive surge of gravity slams PunchHopper to the ground. (cue Miyuko and I basically just shouting WHAT into the chat)

Oh my god. Turns out Woz’s attack is even more ridiculous than I’d thought. He’s allegedly channeling the gravity of 10,000 black holes, because that’s totally a thing that’s possible. … Meh, he’s got reinforcements from the armor, he’ll be fine.

Woz: Ah, yes, as expected of my overlord. Taking advantage of the enemies trap-

Sougo: Er, actually, I just wanted him to take me to Yaguruma. Now we just have to defeat the two of them. (goes to transform)

Everything starts to shake.

Oh, there’s that giant meteor!

Rider Time!

Zi-O! Fourze!

3! 2! 1! Fourze!

~~~~~

Miyuko: HE’S GOING TO

Miyuko: OH MY GOOOOD

Cressy: UCHUUU KITAAAAAAAAA

Miyuko: UCHUU IKUUUUU

Miyuko: Sougo pls

Cressy: FINE I’LL TAKE THE MESS UP

~~~~~

I mean, if it stops a GIANT METEOR FROM HITTING TOKYO? I don’t CARE if he gets the catchphrase wrong!

And it’s pretty close, anyway. Way better than his attempts at Ex-Aid’s and especially Build’s catchphrases.

~~~~~

Back to Gatack versus the Hell Brothers, who are soon joined by Woz.

Turns out, Yaguruma doesn’t care that Kageyama’s a Worm, since he’s the only one willing to be his partner.

After being tremendously outsped, and taking a few good blows, Woz unleashes an incredibly over-the-top finisher in the form of his Planetary Explosion. Yes, I know that’s not the actual name, but my computer’s autocorrect is a pain, and I’m not going to try typing out any of the forms that attacks real name can take. I don’t want to teach my computer that.

And there’s a huge explosion of flame, flames spreading across the floor… Woz gives a grandiose pair of quotes in a very Tendou style, down to the pointing. But a sound comes from ground zero of the attack.

A green suit drags itself into a standing position.

KickHopper: I don’t believe in the power of the universe… I only believe in the power of hell…

He lands a Rider Kick that Woz just manages to get a guard up in time to block. When Woz can look up… nobody’s there.

Geiz comes in… but none of the three returning characters are around anymore.

There is, however, a ‘message’. Someone’s left a package of instant bowl ramen, and a note, with one word.

“Hell.”

SO THAT’S NOT OMINOUS AS FUCK AT ALL.

~~~~~

Miyuko: “Wait, I’ve had this form one ep why am I being worfed”

Cressy: WELCOME TO BAD TIMES

Cressy: ON BOTH ENDS OF THE TIMELINE

~~~~~

A portal appears in the air, in 2058. Tsukuyomi and Tsukasa step out, to when she would have been 8 years old, into a ruined city.

With an incredibly ominous looking cloud front and thunderstorm off in the distance.

~~~~~

Back to 2019… Geiz… is in no position to do anything but leave the whole meteor thing to Sougo. A man in black, with copious chains, drags himself through the river below. “Did… someone laugh at me?”

Yaguruma, what are you doing there?

~~~~~

IT’S SPACE TIME!

Sougo’s ready! He can do this! He -

Did not realize how big that was actually going to be!

But he drills through the meteor with a Limit Time Break, shattering it… and also releasing a bunch of Worms that were in there into the vacuum of space.

Oh well.

Except that one wasn’t the real problem.

No, the real problem is that the grey meteor?

Is a pebble in comparison to the giant red one behind it.

Everything is very red in 2068.

~~~~~

Miyuko: THISISFINE

Miyuko: oh shit

Miyuko: IS THIS WHY THE EARTH IS FUCKED UP

Miyuko: SPAAACE

Miyuko: oh boy SOUGO PLS

Cressy: SOUGO BABBY

Miyuko: GEN WOULD BE SO PROUD

Cressy: DID YOU NOT REALIZE FROM HOW BIG IT SEEMED

Cressy: OBJECTS IN MIRROR-

Miyuko: HOLY SHIT

Miyuko: POSE

(He was pretty close, with the pose! It’s… probably easier in 0G, given Gens whole thing.)

Cressy: OH MY GOD HE DRILLED THROUGH A METEOR

Miyuko: OH NOOOOOOOO FUCK

Cressy: OH MY GOD THAT WAS A PEBBLE

Miyuko: OH NO OH NO OH NOOOOOOO

Miyuko: THIS IS WHY THE EARTH IS FUCKED IN 2068 ISN’T IT

Cressy: OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO FUCK UP THE PLANET

Cressy: IT’S REMNANTS ALL OVER AGAIN. I AM HAVING K.A. APPLEGATE FLASHBACKS HERE

Miyuko: WELL BOY FUCKING HOWDY WHAT A ZI O. -oh god PLEASE LET THE KABUTO WATCH GO TO KAGAMI. PLEASE

Miyuko: But Damn that was toei making it up to us from last week huh

Cressy: OH YES

Miyuko: GOOD USE OF RETURNING ACTORS.

DRAMA

STAKES

SOUGO DRILLING A METEOR.

TSUKASA CAME BACK.

Cressy: Tsukasa: “It’s not technically spoilers if it’s your own past, right? Right. I could have used this sort of heads up.”

~~~~~

So! Yeah! We were! Basically just completely screaming after that!

This is a much better episode than the last two. Thank you, Mouri-san! THANK YOU!

[readbythestarlight]

c2e36

So this will be 10 episodes since the one where we lost Molly. Just throwing that out there.

Also it’s apparently my 9 (NEIN) month anniversary for being subbed to G&S which means it’s also my 9 month anniversary for watching CR and also the show has been going for 9 months as of the 11th so. That’s cool.

I like that jacket, Sam.

Broadway advert lol

“Andrew Loyd Website”

“I could have backed up all night” and “I’ve grown accustomed to her encryption” I’m dead

Okay that was hands down Sam’s best ad he’s so goddamn creative

NEW YORK NEW YORK I’m so excited I loved the last live show

A SLEEVES ARE BULLSHIT SHIRT?!

I need it

Oh wait it doesn’t actually say sleeves are bullshit

I still love the shirt tho and I want one

And the bumper sticker

“It makes it sound bad when you say it like that” guys it WAS bad xD

Poor Caduceus is having an Experience

Cad: “You keep leaving”

Y: “They keep finding me”

Cad: “I think you might have the right idea”

THE FUCK? NO

guys you need to convince Caduceus to sTAY

HE’S ALIVE?!

HE HAS AN AXE IN HIS HEAD

Oh no don’t get Cad he’s sad and tired right now

I mean y’all almost left him behind which was crummy

Caleb really wanted to yank that axe out

Also how does healing work? Like does the guy have permanent brain damage in the are where the axe wrecked now? If it had hit somewhere vital to like, say, memory, would his memory be gone? Enquiring minds want to know.

When Caleb tries to be intimidating it both makes me laugh but also freaks me out a little

I LOVE when Matt has cool props

So does Travis lol

J: “Have you heard of THE Traveler”

Galen: “….Oh no not another one”

Nott and Jester building up Galen like “no no you’re totally special!!!”

“Missed all the major organs” sAM xD

“The Mist…ake” I’m crying

lol promoting this guy to first mate I’m crying

“We got a new pet!”

“Let’s call him Professor Thadeus the second!”

They forgot they had someone tied to the mast too what nerds

They cut up his nice shirt xD

I adore that Travis has totally got the islands and shit memorized so he can be super in-character

Also Cad is being too quiet it’s making me sad

Caleb The Navigator

Captain Fjord

First Mate Galen

Oh oh oh they should have a guest to come aboard and sail with them

Oh noooo they left the magic invisible cart

YES THANK YOU MATT y’all need to talk to Caduceus thank you Matt for pointing out that poor Taliesin has been silent for 30 minutes

Oh no have they somehow fucked over Cad’s mission?

I’m curious about this. Because obviously Taliesin knew this was exactly how the M9 were, so I can’t believe that he would have made Cad to be wholly incompatible with them.

He’s feeling really low and lost I think it’s time for a group hug

Him almost dying really freaked him out (and I think it really freaked Taliesin out too)

I’M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW WITH JESTER AND CADUCEUS YOU GUYS

Caduceus is the ship’s cook

Mmm Beau is starting to feel like Caleb is trying too hard to excuse the bad things they do

I think the dock thing was a disaster for sure but I don’t think it was necessarily that they REALLY did anything wrong?

I’m not sure what exactly Beau is feeling bad about? Like freeing the genie wasn’t wrong, the boat thing was a mistake built on bad choice but it wasn’t them being inherently bad, and they didn’t kill Algar, so?

Ah, she’s feeling like she didn’t leave Nicodranus better than she found it

I like this whole “why didn’t we try to talk it out first” thing because it’s nice that two of them are having some moral conflicts. I also like what it says about Fjord and Beau as far as character development.

I mean I don’t think boiling it down to “like we were justified in our actions” really covers what Caleb said. He did say they could have handled things a lot better, but that they did what they had to to survive a situation they could have but didn’t handle better.

“I don’t want to drive you guys away” BEAUUUU my heart

Yasha staring off south “looking for a storm”

Caduceus cooking for the group is literally just my favorite thing. They totally needed a group member who could like make them slow down and eat and just like… take care of themselves, even just for the length of the meal.

Beau went from “I’m sorry for killing these guys” to “fuck those guys they’re dead anyway let’s smear their name”

We should not split up

There’s no way any of this could go wrong

Awwww Caleb showing Nott the stars and planets so sweet

SEE Caleb understands that things went horribly wrong. I honestly think he’s just trying to keep their spirits’ up.

Nott honey you don’t have to be okay with him using suggestion, I understand you both admire and need him but you can be mad at him

“Nott is a one-earther”

Have I mentioned how much I love Caduceus?

Fjord’s just like “please tell me you mean you talk to alive grieving people and not the dead people”

Oh no

They’re coming for them

You should NOT go back

Sam is like “why the fuck are we going back” and I agree so hard

Fjord should not stay on the ship Nott is right

N: “Oh, oh, what other languages do you speak?!”

J: “I speak Infernal”

Everyone cracks up

Oh this is going to be another disaster

Although I guess the guard guys wouldn’t be expecting them to immediately come back?? Maybe??

“YOU’RE THE SAILOR GUY THIS IS YOUR WHOLE EPISODE” lol sam

“I’m gonna bake, fuck it” I LOVE CAD

“I look like Captain Crunch btw” I’m crying can’t breathe omg

Except isn’t the captain dead lol

“Unknown do-gooders” well that wasn’t the reputation I expected

UH HEY I HOPE MARION DIDN’T HEAR ABOUT THE BLUE SKINNED TIEFLING KILLING HERSELF

These lies are getting more and more ridiculous

“The little devil girl who drowned a hundred years ago” Taliesin and the idea of a ghost story is just… so perfect.

Beau stop xD

If this ghost story isn’t in campaign 3 someday I’m gonna cry

I’m so glad that Orli is coming along

They hired the tortle! :D

Nott is really being adorable with the “we are a team and you are important” thing. Obvious, but adorable.

Taliesin wanted ghost stories and now we’re getting islands people avoid because strange ancient unnatural stuff

Okay quick aside but this conversation with Yasha and Caduceus makes me think — I love how there’s this group of people who seemingly should have nothing in common, but in a lot of ways they have things they can understand about each other. Struggles they can related to. It’s really nice.

Jester and her multiple message spells lol

I’ll miss you Marion!

Oooo a glow in the water?

Awww Matt that’s really pretty!

“Sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt you the worst” that’s very profound, Jester.

I’m gonna cry I don’t want Jester to be sad don’t be sad (Laura needs to stop looking like she’s gonna cry because it’s gonna make me cry)

And the way she does this little laugh like she’s trying to brush off how sad she is like STOP IT IM EMOTIONAL.

Marion was gonna leave with Jester’s dad but then he didn’t come back and I’m thinking at some point they had better kick the Gentleman’s ass for abandoning her

The way Fjord is so sweet and soft with Jester is so cute I can’t decide if I ship them or if I just want them to be soft and close but not romantic I think I’d be happy either way but my god Fjord’s being so gentle with her is killing me

“There are vegetarian options as well”

Marius: “Thank you, thank you, it’s very good—they’re crazy aren’t they?”

Cad: “Oh yeah, they’re completely crazy.”

I desperately hope they get attacked by a sea monster at some point

“Captain Tusktooth”

Tiny elf-owl Frumpkin omg

He’s loaning her tiny owl Frumpkin for a week I cry

M: “I poke him to see if he bites me”

Tr: “He’s dead”

“I’m gonna probably start talking to fish at some point in the near future” Caduceus Doolittle

When Nott is sincere like when she’s talking to Caduceus right now is so sweet

I take it back it’s too soon to talk about Molly Sam

“Between you and me, Jester’s a really bad cleric, so…” and Laura almost spits out her drink lol

I want to meet the rest of the Clays someday I hope some of them are still alive

“A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter” Nott is getting me in my feelings tonight

Matt: “You get the sense that the fish would be happy to”

Cad/Tal: “I’m a lunatic aren’t I?”

M: “Yeah.”

C/T: “I’m sorry.”

M: “Yeah, no, it’s great! :D”

The fish: “sure, sure, suresuresuresure sure”

Oh godddd sky monster?

Bird?

WHAT IS IT

“Professor Thadeus…?”

Oh. Fuck. Creepy flying humanoid thing.

lol Beau making sure it’s not Yasha

Oh jeez poor Yasha

…Okay Matt that wasn’t cool because it’s past midnight and the windows are open and I’m feeling weirdly paranoid now

HERE WE GO

Harpies omggggg

Caleb’s really not gonna be able to use fire for this without risking the ship

Oh fuck don’t get the deck hands

Okay the sail isn’t that big a deal Jester can probably mend it, so save the deck hand first

Harpies are not sirens that shouldn’t be allowed to do anything

Oh poor Nott

SAVE THE CREW PERSON FIRST BEAU

I love Cad’s beetles

“Snack time” Cad you’re so creepy sometimes xD

15pts of beetle damage hell yeah

Okay I take it back Beau might have done the best thing saving the sail.

Okay this is too easy of a fight tho what’s coming that’s worse

Oh daaaaamn snapped her neck with the sail rope

Caleb Nott this isn’t nice xD

“We saved his life with the power of friendship” I’m crying

F: “How do we prevent further heart episodes?”

N: “MORE FRIENDSHP. MORE FRIENDSHIP.”

Awkward friend hugs are best hugs

Nott please don’t eat harpy meat

Cad’s gonna compost the harpy

Beau is keeping Frumpkin in her pocket of course she is

Poor Travis just like “I DIDN’T KNOW ID ACTUALLY HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO CAPTAIN A SHIP” poor guy

Oh god the ship is gonna sink

They’re gonna end up stranded on the cursed island just watch

Gonna try and block the hole…. with a mattress

I’m shocked they managed to patch it bless Galen for that Nat20

Caleb being clever to save the ship with his magic bubble

I hope they don’t get Orli killed

They gonna get sunk

Oh wait

Does Caleb have to stay inside the bubble?? I hope it doesn’t start to fill too much

YAAAAAS what a good episode!

SO MUCH SAILING PIRATE-Y FUN

Oh please wear pirate outfits I’m begging

I’m so excited for next week

[my-hero-aaron]

Provisional Licenses, Part 2

After a bit of fumbling and fiddling to get the weird archive I had found to actually play on K’s tv, I finally got to snuggle in next to K. She’d set up a little pile of blankets, pillows, and assorted fluffy whatnots on the floor while I struggled with the wonders of modern technology. Thankfully, everything seemed to be running smoothly as I nuzzled into K’s back, my chin gently perching on her shoulder, an arm comfortably slipping around her waist. A small whistle started to emanate from the speakers of the television, while a father and son wandered toward the camera, fishing poles in hand. The theme, thankfully, was short and sweet, and the show pretty much immediately launched into its plot. The dad from the opening, who turned out to be the sheriff in town, welcomed a travelling salesman into his home after he’d gotten stranded in town because of car trouble. Sure, it wasn’t exactly thrilling action or anything, but the show was just endearing enough to hold my attention. At the end of the episode, I finally zoned back into the world around me, only to find that not only was one of my hands noticeably stuck in K’s hair from my absent minded fiddling, but also that K had laced her legs into mine, surprisingly comfortably.

“Well... I’d get up and change the show, but I’m comfy. You down for one more episode, see how things shape up?” I queried my girlfriend, kissing her cheek gently.

“I think I can handle one more. This show… isn’t really my speed. It doesn’t really hold my attention very well.” She smiled apologetically

“That’s fair, I’m not... entirely sure why I like it, but there’s just something going on that won’t let me stop watching.” As I was responding, the next episode rolled, the theme once again filling the room. This time around, the sheriff’s kid was having trouble with history class, but after some clever set up to make it sound like an adventure story, the kid (and all his pals, to boot) were major history buffs. Cheesy, but definitely enjoyable.

“Okay, that’s one more. Your turn to pick, hon.”

As K untangled herself from me to get up, she pressed a small kiss into my cheek. I could feel the heat brush across my face, and I must have zoned out a bit, because the next thing I knew, she’d booted up an episode of Star Trek... or was it The Next Generation? I could never keep them straight. Regardless, I smiled slightly, patting the space K had vacated.

“C’mere, einstein, I’m getting cold.”

“Oh, you, cold? Who would have thought it, popsicle?” Kailey quipped as she slipped into my embrace.

I had to admit, K had good taste when it came to movies and tv. The episode immediately caught my attention, it was a bit of a high concept piece this time around. The ship’s android, Data, was tied up in a legal battle over whether he should receive rights as a sentient being. It was a real brain tickler of a question to be posed, to put it lightly, and even despite just how comfy I was getting with my girlfriend, I could practically feel the gears whirring in my brain as I considered the little bits and pieces of the conundrum posed by the show.

The next thing I knew, K was shaking me awake, and the credits were rolling on a favorite movie of hers, Coraline.

“Hey, Aaron, wake up sleepy head. You were kinda snoozing there. Maybe you should head back to your dorm now?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, K. Last thing we need is Vlad finding me asleep in your dorm, after all.” I let out a small yawn, stretching while I got up, and gave my girlfriend a little peck on the cheek. “See ya tomorrow, K. I love you!”

With that, I padded out of the room, trying my best not to make a huge racket while I left, and conked out for the night.

Soon enough, the little bit of time we had to actually design our special moves had run out, and the day of the provisional hero license exam had come up on us. After we’d filed out of the bus they’d crammed us into, it was clear that we were going to have an absolutely absurd amount of competition when it came to whatever they were planning to have us do. A little bit of shuffling and bumping into people later, Kailey, Oliver, and I had found ourselves, along with what seemed like several thousand other students. Thankfully, we were getting at least some personal space, since nobody wanted to get too far into the bubble of cold my chest plate was putting out. After a few moments, the din of chatter that was filling the room tapered off, an incredibly exhausted-looking man taking his place at the podium.

“Given the massive volume of applicants this year, we’re going to have to make this explanation quick. The long and short of the test is, you have three targets to place on your body. They have to be visible, no hiding them. You’re removed from the test when all 3 of your targets get hit. First 100 people to get two people out, move on to the next stage of the testing. Now, your targets activate in 15 seconds. Let’s begin!”

As he finished his sentence, the walls around us fell to expose an absolutely cavernous arena. Hurriedly, I slammed a target onto my leg, contorted a bit to stick one in the middle of my back, and, after a moment’s thought, stuck the last target onto the inside of my bracer. It isn’t technically out of sight, I would just have to rotate my arm. I know that having one on my back probably isn’t the best, but it’ll work well to make me notice everything around me. I mused, glancing over at K to see just how she’d set up her three targets. At that point, I noticed the major redesign to K’s costume. Somehow, I had managed to not catch her basically rebuilding her suit from the ground up, and not piece it together that it had changed until just now. The most obvious change was accented by the test target, there was a target set up directly under a clasp that was clearly holding the iridescent cape that draped over her shoulders. Similarly, K had slapped her second target on her thigh, and the last target was somewhat obvious on her upper arm. My eyes cast over to Oliver, who had made a few small modifications to his costume (including what looked like a solar concentrator on his chest), and he’d stuck all three of his targets around the circular device on his chest. Having sorted out just what my companions were up to, I dashed off toward the miniature cityscape that was set up off to our left.

“Kailey, Oliver, we need to stick together! Let’s get moving!”

I heard two pairs of footfalls drop in behind me as we dashed for cover. Judging by the cacophony of thuds behind us, the crowd behind us was an absolute web of scattered balls. Clearly, some people had immediately forgotten that the targets weren’t active just yet. As we dashed into the city’s main street, it was obvious that we weren’t the only ones with the idea to camp out here. In fact, there was a familiar shock of flaming red hair peeking out of a first floor window, and by the time I got over my surprise at seeing Amber here of all places, the smoking ball she’d pitched at me slammed into the target on my leg.

“K, how much is it for you to get us into one of those buildings?”

“Portals take a lot, Aaron, we’re gonna have to run.”

Eyeing the red glow coming from my target, I turned toward the building that I’d seen my former... fling? I suppose you’d call it that in, a minor revenge plot in my mind. You could only imagine my shock as I saw yet another person from K and I’s past in the building beside her.

Zanshin looked almost... giddy at my surprise. Obviously he knew I was coming, his quirk wasn’t called situational awareness for nothing. He moved to throw a ball, and it sailed right over our heads. Thankfully, I’d put together just what he was trying to do moments before he pulled it off, and the ball struck, relatively harmlessly, next to the target on my back. Almost on reflex, I flung two balls at the targets on Zanshin’s chest. Obviously, they didn’t find their mark, he saw them coming from a mile away. It was at that point I noticed a slight blush spreading over Zanshin’s face.

“Wait, you’re dating Amber of all people?”I said, the shock clear in my voice.

“No WAY, snow-for-brains, he’s just helping me out because he’s smart enough to know a winner!” Amber snipped in response, clearly insulted at the mere idea of them being that close.

“H-hi, Kailey.” A rare stammer slipped into Zanshin’s speech as he waved somewhat sheepishly at K.  

“Hey Mei. How’ve you been holding up.” she smiled gently as she replied.

Doing my best to quash my entirely unreasonable jealousy at that, I looked more closely at Amber.

“I like the costume! Needs more fire theme, though.”

“Ugh, as if I’d be as tacky as you with your gross ice shirt, frosthead.”

“Yeah well at least his costume is functional and isn’t tacky and revealing” K snapped back without missing a beat.

“I dig the trench coat, Zanshin. Very you!” I quickly blurted out, trying to at least dial down the tension.

“Thanks! Those bracers are a good choice, and I’m surprised the support department let you get away with that much silver! Can’t have been cheap to produce.” Zanshin said, matter of factly gesturing toward my arms.

Amidst all the back and forth, someone threw a ball, and K took a hit to the target on her thigh.

Even though it wasn’t clear at first, a glance over at her expression said volumes about just who managed to tag her. A roughly contained fury was crossing the face of my best pal, and despite the odd shimmering of the air in front of her, it was drop dead obvious that Kailey was incredibly upset about this turn of events. The next thing I knew, there was a sound like a crowd running by, a bright flash of light, then the raucous sound of Amber tumbling to the floor in a daze, all three of her targets flicked on.

Knowing what K’s abilities did to Zanshin, I took the advantage she gave me, and flicked a ball at the group of three targets on his chest. The hyper perceptive young man looked almost nauseated at the lack of information he was getting, and the interruption of his flow was just enough to let me tag one of his targets.  

“You’re still so pathetic Hoshihime! The only reason you got me was because you couldn’t face me head on! YOU COWARD!” Amber screeched.

Kailey clearly had some words for her foe, but I knew our window was small, and getting smaller.

“K, we gotta get out of here, Zanshin’s not gonna be out of it much longer!” Before she could respond to Amber, I grabbed my girlfriend’s hand, rushing out of the building we had just taken cover in. Oddly enough, as we dashed out, I didn’t hear Oliver’s footsteps behind us, but once we got out into the road, it was pretty clear what he’d done.