#when seteth came out of his seclusion the first thing he heard was a faerghan ribald song talking about emperor small dick

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I just had a super important Adrestian thought, relating to the post of yesterday :

“By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword and by the double-headed eagle upon your head, I hereby pronounce you the new emperor.”

“Imperial Year 32: The War of Heroes -

Wilhelm Paul Hresvelg, the inaugural Adrestian Emperor -”

HC of the day : 

Faerghan propaganda, just after the independance, said Adrestia sucked because it was created by “Emperor small dick”.

Adrestian historians and the Imperial palace was so pissed, they replied with “tru facts discovered yesterday” pamphlets, more or less saying :

“He had a super LARGE and BIGGEST CLAYMORE EVER”

“A GIGANORMOUS white sword, Saint Seiros needed to rest for ten days and ten nights after bleeding that much due to its MASSIVE SIZE!”

“Befitting the progenitor of our glorious line, his sword was 15FT LONG!”

Some more sensible Adrestians replied with something like size does not matter, and as Adrestians they are more civilised than barbarian brutes who think about mating and are controlled by their impulses - not wanting to participate in a dick measuring contest, because hey, they are Adrestians, they won’t sink that low.

Faerghan sensible people agreed that talking about the size of dicks is ridiculous and they are worth more than randoms who laugh at dick jokes. It worked for several years.

However, one of their King - Robert the Simple - who had a too much “worthless adrestian grape juice” during a diplomatic meeting hosted at the Monastery, called Emperor Otto the IIIrd a coward for refusing to send soldiers at the border of their territory (Leicester didn’t exist yet!) against Almyran invasions, but that was to be expected from “Emperor small dick’s descendant”.

The Archbishop of that time thus had to arbitrate a possible conflict arising over a penis joke, and asked to a random lass called Valefor if they remembered anything about a throne, or a place called Zanado, because she was so going to have a breakdown dealing with those humans.