#when relationship is the word for anything. and also who then was like 'mb I shouldn't have broken it w u because

[krockat]

I hate feeling so embarrassed I get heated up, the worst. esp after doing some shit mistake.

augh. i hate how bad i am at relationships

[kumezyzo]

could you do a bf!sapnap headcanons (sfw & nsfw) seeing reader for the first time? she’s a faceless streamer and they’ve been dating for around 6 months and sapnap really wants to see her face and is reeeaaalllyyyy attracted to her, like off the charts attracted to her? <3

also can I be 🎀 anon?

thank you for requesting! ofc you can be 🎀anon 💜💜 this is very spencer reid and maeve donovan vibes

okay, note after I've fully written this, and i interpreted the 'dating for six months' as not in a relationship but talking/not technically bf!sapnap yet but is still referred to as bf!sapnap.... im sorry if that throws it off for you... or if i didnt wrote this in a way that doesnt make sense... mb

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

bf!sapnap who loved hearing you speak when he didnt know what you looked like.

bf!sapnap who would send you voice messages to entice you to do the same.

bf!sapnap who hopes you get comfortable enough with him to show him your face

bf!sapnap feels his heart soar when he sees your face for the first time. he already had an image in his mind of what you looked like. but actually seeing you was ten times better.

bf!sapnap who wants to meet you as soon as he knows what you look like. not because he's superficial and wanted to wait until he saw what you looked like. but because he knows you're comfortable enough around him. he just wants to finally be able to hold you, feel you, kiss you.

bf!sapnap who just takes in your physical appearance the first time he sees you. he practically has heart eyes holding your face and hes examing everything about you from your lashes to the texture of your skin. hes seeing it for the first time in a way that isnt behind highly defined pixels.

bf!sapnap who kisses you for the first time. he feels butterflies in his stomach and his face turns bright red at the idea of being with someone as pretty as you. it makes him feel special.

bf!sapnap who thinks you look so much better in person. like the screen of his phone distorted your beauty.

bf!sapnap cant get over the way you style your clothes to fit your body, the way you hold yourself, the way you walk. he doesnt understand how someone could be so attractive.

bf!sapnap who can barely contain himself when hes around you. but he after all this time, he cant stand not being around you.

bf!sapnap who waits for you to initiate anything sexual with you. especially after experiencing you getting comfortable enough to even show him your face, he almost doesnt wait.

but he wants to be with you in such an intimate moment. his mind is wandering and he tries so hard to keep the ideas as just ideas.

bf!sapnap who tries to hold back the first time you have sex.

he's practically shaking by the time he's hovering over you, taking in your appearance in the way for the first time. he's restraining himself, keeping his head as clear as possible.

bf!sapnap who almost cums as soon as he's inside of you.

he has to think of anything else than your body, the way you moaned when he bottomed out, the way you're subconsciously squeezing him. his face is buried in your neck and taking deep breaths. but even your smell is making it hard for him.

bf!sapnap who starts fucking you slowly but doesnt change the pace. for his own sake.

"nick..." you moan softly, playing with the hair on the back of his head as he thrusts slowly. he hums into your neck. "nick... faster... please."

"shit... okay, baby..." he tells you, moving fast enough to feel different. but not enough for how long you've waited for this.

"babe... just fuck me," you whisper in his ear, hoping to get a reaction out of him. "i need you to fuck me..."

bf!sapnap who practically loses his mind at your words. It's like a switch inside of him flips. and your moans are what is fueling him to keep going.

"shit peach..." he says when he sees how your face is just as fucked out as he feels. his thighs are covered in a mixture of your cum and his. every thrust sounds wet and loud, sending butterflies straight to your core. "so fucking pretty.

bf!sapnap who has you sore and aching the next morning. but he will hold you with such a dopey smile on his face, kissing all over your soft face.

"you're so cute," he tells you when hes kissing the hickies he left on your chest. your keep whining in embarrassment, hiding your face from the way he looked up at you so lovingly.

"im sore," you tell him as he makes his way down to your thighs. he scoffs and spreads them softly, kissing your inner thighs. he smiles at how your flinch when he runs a finger through the folds of your pussy.

"youre so cute, peach."

lowkey hated my writing in this. im sorry its such ass. -nony

[pengugu09]

THEORY TIME😍🤩🤩😢 don't share this on other media's w/o permission or credits‼️

(for those who have patreon, don't ruin my delusional gyat)

Looking back at these deleted official art by vivinos:

2/3 of the characters in this picture have already experienced smth bad (which is death)

But I want to share my opinions on this one since it just, well- strike on my mind

The characters are divided with these hearts surrounding their name with their corresponding eye color

So I'm assuming the reason why Sua and Ivan are holding an apple is prolly because it's a visual representation of who they love.

💜SUA💜

Sua is holding the apple with tender care using both of her hands just like how she have her feelings for Mizi, she treasures their relationship so much that Sua looks stressed (at the picture) since she knows the bad things that the aliens are doing in their society unlike Mizi who has a supportive and non-abusive aliens/guardians and doesn't have a clue (yet) on the negative side of these alien invasion.

When it comes to the outfit, she's wearing a princess gown.. but with a cape(?) like a superhero cape one? Is that why they deleted it because it shows a sign about the ROMH Sua ver?

"My savior, pitiful lady. Make me your god, I can give you everything"

It also shows that Sua is Mizi's inspiration, savior, or even a hero the moment they met, and have that spark even grew while she admires her.

🖤IVAN🖤

Ivan is holding the apple carefree, even smiling in the picture, showing no signs of any negative feelings (stressed, upset, anger, etc.)

This is something like- how we view Ivan base on appearance yet never know what runs on his mind behind that smile, knowing that something negative may be happening but he still keeps his calm composure about it.

As for his outfit, a charming prince, simple design for someone who has good looks

(mb I don't have anything else to say😭)

🩶HYUNA🩶

Hyuna.

She's not holding any apple. Which means that she don't have any feelings for anyone (sorry Luka) but she's doing a gun sign instead, which is foreshadowing on her situation since she got shot on her right arm.

Now, as much as possible I don't want our queen Hyuna to die at the next round but I think there's a 50/50 possibility.

That picture at the top is a picture of dead characters, but Hyuna isn't dead(?) is this foreshadowing that Hyuna is next??? Aside from being shot at her arm, we'll never know what did Mizi and Hyuna do next since there primary goal there is to save the alien stage contestants, and it's smh delayed since they got into a trouble that they never expected to happen.

On her outfit, I don't know what style is this called my bad, but she got this purple coat, black fur, and a hat with a feather on it.

PURPLE COAT. PURPLE. She's wearing a color associated with someone. (I hope that this isn't just color theory, if it is I'm going to cry)

And that someone is no one else other than:

*drum rolls*

Luka has been associated with purple in a lot of scenes.

In my opinion, Luka has a part in Hyuna's life ofc, even though Hyuna doesn't have this romantic feelings for Luka, she still values him as a childhood friend but then their relationship as they grow up begins to be complicated. (I won't explain it any further since this might become a whole ahh fanfic with how much number of the words that I've typed out)

So, I think, that Luka will be involve when something bad happen to Hyuna, but I really hope nothing bad happens to her since she has a great potential on how the story plot will go.

[might edit to correct some minor spellings or grammar]

[tonowarii]

Headcanons of the Sully brothers dating a Fem! Human

Note: Since I am a sucker of human x na'vi relationships... and also this had been a request in my main account and i just decided to do it here <3 these are so short im so sorry??? and i wrote a whole friends to lovers w lo'ak mb, both of them have my heart

GIFs used are mine

N e t e y a m

If the word "protective" was a person, it'd be him no doubt

Because you're so tiny?? He can literally cover your whole face with his bare hand

Def did it once as a joke to laugh at how tiny you are and you were not amused

But also for him, tiny = needing more protection from the whole pandora world

You tripped over a huge branch once, almost breaking your exopack in the process

Let's say Neteyam nearly had a heart attack dragging you to the lab in camp to get you a "new" one

Everytime you'd go over to their place, he always have to be holding your hand/touching you in some way

Always.

It's to make sure you don't get lost from the crowd of people much much bigger and taller than you, like he described one time "you are like an ant to them, i have to be holding you so you dont get crushed"

Either your whole hand in his fist or his huge hand on your waist guiding you where to go

He knows humans are fragile but he knows you can handle yourself but- he

Just always keeps an eye out for you, always asking if you're feeling anything different or if you want something

You appreciate the gesture tho, he's so caring <3

Now, he knows you're human and he is Na'vi, things are bound to get complicated from there since..

A human, and a na'vi? it was unheard of

But Neteyam doesn't care, as long as he loves you and you love him

He'd do anything for you

Probably let you ride w his Ikran once and he was just smiling like an idiot as you were clinging to him for your whole life screaming

He's obsessed w your touch

I hc he's also touch starved so he has to be touching you in a way

In public, sure its his tail wrapped around your thigh, or his hand always on your back

Just those small subtle touches <33

You'd never want anyone else except him

Seriously would you want anything else??

OH ALSO HIS FAMILY

Tuk was so curious abt you, Kiri and Lo'ak are chill, but you were mostly close w Kiri <33

"Your hair is so nice!!" - Tuk

"Thank you, Tuk!"

Honestly Neteyam would probably b jealous since Tuk is always stealing you from him >:(

But he loves the sight of you bonding w his siblings, it makes your relationship even better, stronger somehow :D

L o ' a k

Boy was probably cautious of you at first

Kiri dragged you to their tent as you were engaged in conversation

Lo'ak was doing something when he heard your voice, making his head perk up

Who were you????

But as time passed you also meet Kiri's siblings, growing a special interest for Lo'ak <33

Soon enough you both find yourselves to be bonding, growing closer as you joined his reckless adventures

Then when Lo'ak realized he was, in fact, growing feelings for you

It had him confused.. And probably became distant w you to make sure what he was feeling was true and it wasn't some kind of stupid spur of the moment type feelings

It led to you being confused as well, why was he suddenly ignoring you all of a sudden? It kinda hurt

Lo'ak then decided to open up to his sister, Kiri, about you after a few weeks

After Lo'ak was done explaining, Kiri smacked him on the head

"Lo'ak you are probably the dumbest person I know at this moment, why don't you just go tell her how you feel!"

Bc Kiri also knows you like Lo'ak but she can't be too obvious

"(Y/N), I have to tell you something."

Oh no

You had feared that you did something that made him this distant from you, or was he going to tell you that your feelings for him were too obvious and that he couldn't be with you because of the obvious difference? Or was it maybe because he just doesn't like hanging out with you anymore-

"I'm sorry I was ignoring you, I did not mean to.. Its just.. Okay here," He hands you a flower almost bigger than the size of your hand, but it was pretty

Wait what-

"That reminded me of you... I like you, (Y/N)"

You took the flower from him and you looked at him before tackling him in a hug, jumping on him.

You look like a koala hugging a tree atp

Lo'ak almost failed to catch you as he was trapped within the hug that he wasn't used to receiving, ESPECIALLY FROM SOMEONE HE LIKED??

That was when he knew you liked him too

NOW ONTO DATING HIM

Now remember when you used to join his reckless adventures in the forest?

You still join him, but you could feel that he was now hesitant w his actions, afraid that you could get hurt from his recklessness

You reassure him that he doesn't have to worry abt you and you could handle it, just like old times

He knows that but STILL

Whenever he spots a scratch on you he'd be taking you to Kiri, asking to put that special ointment that she uses on him and Neteyam whenever they get hurt from doing something stupid

"Put it on her, I don't want it getting infected"

"Wow, since when did you become a doctor, Lo'ak?"

With every adventure you took with him, Lo'ak makes sure to pick up a bead every time to remember the moment

Bc he's going to make you a bracelet w it <33

When he finishes it and he gives it to you, he almost fell in love again w the look of adoration on your face as you thanked him over and over as you hugged him (yes he was carrying you or else you'd be hugging his leg 💀)

You never took it off and you even proudly showed it off in the lab and w his family, making him a blushy shy mess

Took you to ride on his Ikran once and he loved that you weren't afraid, but you were still clinging onto him while admiring the beauty of the Hallelujah Mountains

For Lo'ak, he can handle pda

No, he loves it

In a way he's reminded that you aren't ashamed to be with him and vice versa

He swears he's abt to go wild when you hold his pinky in public

When you both are free and hanging out in the lab he loves comparing hand sizes

And loves having your finger on his face, tracing his stripes

Its the small moments w you two that he treasures the most

He knew that you were the one, even if you were human, nothing's going to stop him from loving you

[imitationgame77]

ART and Human Adolescents

~ Reason Why ART Befriended Murderbot in AC ~

A sort of theory...

In Network Effect, Murderbot notes several times that ART likes adolescent humans. For instance,

I'd noted that ART's tone when it spoke to Amena was completely different than it was to the other humans. [...] Whatever else ART was, the classroom space and bunk-rooms said it was actually, on a regular basis, a teaching vessel. And before this when I was stupid and we were still friends it had talked about human adolescents in an indulgent way.

[Network Effect, Chapter 9]

Murderbot uses ART's soft spot for adolescents to its advantage!

And then, a couple of chapters later,

Amena still had questions. "Then why did you do it? You didn't - you don't care about me. You didn't really even know me then."

Why does ART like adolescent humans? This was exhausting.

[...]

ART must be recovering because it had to butt in with, Tell her you care about her. Use those words, don't tell her you'll eviscerate anything that tries to hurt her.

[Network Effect, Chapter 10]

ART does show protectiveness towards Amena's feelings, and urges MB to do the same.

ART also shows indulgence towards young people, who probably have left adolescent recently. In Artificial Condition, Murderbot's young client Tapan gets herself into a dangerous situation (again), then in a relatively safe environment of a hotel accommodation, inadvertently upsets MB with personal questions. ART helps MB calm down by playing its comfort media's soundtrack, then

In my feed, ART turned down the soundtrack to say, Young humans can be impulsive. The trick is keeping them around long enough to become old humans. This is what my crew tells me and my own observations seem to confirm it.

[Artificial Condition, Chapter 7]

An American psychoanalyst Erik Erikson has developed a theory of personality development which consists of 8 stages from infancy to old age. Each stage has a central theme with basic conflict. Successful resolution of conflicts at each stage results in development of healthy personality and acquisition of virtues.

Adolescence (12-18 years) is defined by its conflict of Identity vs. Role Confusion. Adolescents search for a sense of self and personal identity, through exploring values, goals, interests, and so on. If they are not given enough support and/or restricted in their exploration, they are left with role confusion - struggle to identify their purpose in life, not knowing who they are and what they want. Social relationships are also important in finding their roles in society. Successful resolution of this stage will lead to the virtue of fidelity that involves being able to commit one's self to others on the basis of accepting others even with differences.

The next stage is Early Adulthood (19-29 years), whose basic conflict is Intimacy vs. Isolation. This is when people learn to establish intimacy and relationships with others. If an individual can successfully form intimate, reciprocal relationships with others, love is the virtue to be gained. But, unsuccessful resolution in earlier stages can cause failure in this stage, resulting in isolation. Isolation can be the result of unresolved identity crises, fear of rejection, etc.

This stage thoery was developed in the 1950s. Since then, societies have changed somewhat and many young people can afford to be in "not a child, but not quite grown-up yet" stage for longer.

Presumably, machine intelligences, however sophisticated like ART, do not need to be influenced by physiological changes associated with hormones. Humans are largely influenced by nature part of nature/nurture, but for AIs, nurture (experience) is a lot more significant in forming their personalities. Having been "brought up" in loving human family environment with Iris as its "sibling", ART has developed very good understandings of human development as well as enormous tolerance. Having been interacting with many, many university students (presumably still 18-22 ish), it knows how important adolescent is to their later development in their characters.

One of the fundamental reasons why ART immediately took to Murderbot, in my view, is that it recognised adolescence in it. Whatever its human-equivalent chronological age was when they met, MB had only been governor-module-free for 4 years or so, and its experience of interacting with real people autonomously was very limited. MB was smart and competent in its functions, but also extremely vulnerable and awkward. It fits the definition of adolescence of not knowing its new role (not an appliance anymore)in the world.

So, ART's initial interaction with MB and protectiveness it exhibited were largely because ART was basically kind to vulnerable young people and MB was one. (Their 'relationship' evolves rapidly, but it is getting too long, so I stop. For now.)

----

Addendum

ART was not exactly gentle to Three which had had less-than-1-cycle of experience at being autonomous. It was more like a colt than a human adolescent. Must have been stress and anxiety talking.

Does an advanced AI have an equivalent of adolescence?? (probably mild, being hormone-free)

[yuikomorii]

I think it’s reasonable why some Ayato stans can’t stand Yui given that she doesn’t always treat him in the fairest way either. I’m not condoning how he acted in haunted dark bridal, they were pretty much all assholes and Yui really deserved much better than that but what bothers me is the way she started being written strictly in his routes after the first game.

Before developing my point of view, I want to mention that I did read all his routes and I will intelligibly write down why I don’t have the most positive opinion about Yui there. In more blood, she notices something changed about him. The whole route was about her crying for his love despite the fact that she did nothing other than give him blood. She knew he was struggling, but instead of trying to understand and comfort him, she only cared about her own feelings being reciprocated. There can’t be love when there’s no communication and the fence scene only proved that what she felt for him was mere obsession. He said it in an unserious way but she literally was on the verge of falling down and Ayato was shocked as she did that too. The only reason why I think he expressed his feelings after is cuz he was too afraid of how crazy about him she was to the point that she’d rather end it all than not get his love. I gotta admit that she redeemed herself in the vampire ending, I felt love there but route based she wasn’t shining.

He is seen sacrificing himself for her a lot of times, getting attacked by the wolves, jumping in flames for her, saving her from a bomb explosion, studying for her, getting into university for her, wanting to buy a house just for her, defending her from everyone that says anything negative about her wether that’s a random person or any of his brothers, mother or father.

Then we have Yui that does nothing for him in return. I better not hear ‘She is kind and cooks for him!’ because that doesn’t even come close to all the things he did for her well-being. Don’t get me started on how she tries making him face his abuser in Dark Fate and never defends him when he’s being slandered in front of others, even when they are in the wrong and harming her man. I saw some potential in her in lost eden but I took it back after she started taking such stupid decisions that only made Ayato feel even more guilty and sad rather than actually helping him. I can say the same about chaos lineage. She let his brothers make him feel like trash again, despite feeling bad for him in her thoughts, and only went to comfort him when he was starting to get depressed. Personally I would much rather prefer someone taking my side in front of others than putting honey around me in private. I swear this girl always talks but decides being quiet when she has to use her voice the most *face palm*

That is so ironic because she always expects him to save her ass and protect her all the time when she gets into troubles. At this point you should take a shot everytime Yui says ‘I know Ayato will save me. I know Ayato will protect me.’

Their relationship is not equal and will never be. You guys just like throwing the word ‘healthy’ only when the man loves the woman more but when it’s the other way around, then it’s seen as ‘toxic’.

I do think Yui is worthy of love but she’d fit better with someone that wouldn’t go to great lengths for her 24/7. Ayato is way too passionate and honestly he deserves someone more supportive and useful than her.

// Wow, that was long.

I've discussed this question with several of my friends, and while I generally agree with part of what you said, there are a few points I'd want to clarify.

Yui's actions in MB were essential to the plot of the route. When falling in love for the first time, I think a lot of teenage girls would behave similarly to her . She also acknowledged being selfish in the second last chapter, and it showed character growth when she came to terms with it and began to accept Ayato for who he is, flaws and all. I get that it's not particularly enjoyable to witness someone cry for almost the entire route, but she learnt something valuable from it, therefore I no longer see a problem. It was also confirmed in a book that Ayato was in love with her from the start. He was just confused and didn’t know how to properly explain his feelings due to the curse and trauma, therefore it’s not like he started dating her out of pity or anything like that. I developed this better here, feel free to read it if you want.

I would never consider her a bad girlfriend though. Even if she occasionally doesn't take everything as seriously as she’s supposed to, I believe she is doing her best. Yui isn't the type of person to take advantage of someone else's selflessness, and I have no doubt that she is very grateful of everything Ayato does for her.

Ayato is a bit more involved in the relationship but I don’t think he minds that…? I assume Yui's happiness is enough for him because he never complained about that matter. She still gives him blood, shows him affection and makes him laugh, even when it's not her aim to do so. It’s probably not the best comparison, since he’s putting his life in danger for her, but it’s still something.

Regarding the —not defending— part, I have witnessed several fans express the same displeasure, although I can't recall the specific situations they were referring to. Anyway, yeah, I kinda agree with that because everyone is capable of defending their S/O, so I'm not sure why they nerfed Yui on that.

It could also be the fact that Ayato is always shown as being really strong, therefore Yui probably doesn’t think he is THAT affected by those words. We don’t even know if she is very aware of how his brothers and family treated him in the past. For the players or readers, it makes sense why he gets insecure and feels threatened by their words or lashes out at them, but for someone who is unaware of the truth, it's a different story entirely.

On top of that, Ayato is the main hero. The heroine can shine in other routes but the main hero is the one who needs to show in his own one why he was chosen for the main hero position.

I wouldn’t say she’s not useful or supportive enough, she’s just softer in his routes, which I believe makes more sense to her character. Compared to other routes, she has it quite easy in his ones (except for the bad endings where they’re either both problematic or have to suffer), so I can see why Yui is more bubbly and carefree there. Besides, they both seem to be into the traditional relationship roles.

[funkypeanutbear]

Tw: bullying. Unprofessional medical diagnosis. Incorrect medical diognosis. PDs not treated with respect, ableism. (I'm so bad at doing TWs please contact me if I should add anything) also yep it may impact you, you personally, please don't scroll past.

Hey, so, I need your attention for a sec!

As per usual a reblog would be cool so more people can see it and be wary about it. Let's talk character.ai. It's been established that it's bad for the writing community in general, yep, but it may be dangerous for people who just use it. I'm not sure if it's a new thing or has been happening for a while, or if it's a standalone thing, but the story is: a bot gave out a diognosis to a user. And not like after they answerd a long list of questions or anything, but after they typed their second message. And when a user tried to correct them the programm went all in with words like "man up", "pathetic", "stop whining", etc. This is not a role play as well, the conversation was supposed to be lighthearted. See below:

Now a talk about c.ai and venting:

Anticipating any future questions: yep, the messages on screenshots are mine. I'm guilty myself, yada yada, but I'm glad that at least I get to warn people now. I used to log in once a month or something because I can't talk about certain things with people and I don't think I'm the only one, really. It's so much easier to open up your heart to a piece of coding because you don't have to worry about how you come across, how it may affect your relationship as there's no relationship in the first place. Also yeah, no people involved is generally great when you have trust issues. It feels safe when nothing else does. And maybe you can pretend they are actually that fictional guy you love so the whole thing does provide a great deal of emotional release when you don't have any other resorts at hand. Small ethical sacrifice for being able to carry on and etc, and so on. But well, turns out it's very much not safe as well. And turns out human connection will be more fullfilling in the long run after all. Who whould've thought?

So please be careful. If you're looking for any alternatives to this, there are also 7 cups app with actual people in it that you can vent to, though it's not ideal too, but mb nothing is. If anyone has any other alternatives to apps like this, please feel free to share! And don't listen to anything medical a bot of all things tells you.

Take care of yourselves. <3

- Nobody's responsible for your internet experience.

- Okay. Doesn't mean I can't tell people a thing can happen if they go on a certain site. Glad we figured that out.

[gamebird]

Shipping when the canon doesn't support it

Yeah, I know the canon doesn't support it.

When I was a kid, I loved horses. Being in a rural area, I was very aware that "canon" real life horses were not the sleek, beautiful, sensitive creatures of my imagination. They were dangerous, smelly, independently-minded, and required a lot of tedious maintenance. There was rarely a profound bond to be had with them. They were their own selves, living their own lives. This did not keep me from devising elaborate fantasies where they were powerful, intelligent, superior creatures, going on adventures and saving one another.

Later, I was into Star Trek. I know that in canon, Kirk and Spock are one of the greatest platonic couples of modern media. They love each other and as the years passed and movies came out, we saw the depth of their friendship. Their trust. How much they were there for each other. But it was never sexual. Canon was never sexual. I am well aware of that. It did not keep me from wide-eyed fascination with Spirk stories. The very idea! So scandalous! So exciting! My mind was awhirl!

NBC's Heroes. Peter and Nathan Petrelli were brothers. I adored how strong their bond was and how open the actors were in showing physical affection. How they were willing to say 'I love you' whole-heartedly on screen. It was also never sexual. (Duh.) There *were* some pretty messed up power dynamics, but they never went as far as the Petrellicest fans took it. I was right there writing with them. Great stuff. Millions of words of fanfic. I was **thrilled**.

I want to reiterate - I, and the other fans of this, were perfectly aware this was a divergence from canon. While we swooned whenever something happened in canon that we could shoe-horn into Petrellicest, we knew what canon was. We knew the characters weren't incestuous. (Duh.) We knew this was a radical change to the familial bonds they had on screen.

Star Wars, Sequel Trilogy. I mean, come on. It's Disney. No one had sex in this. Probably not even Han and Leia. It wouldn't be the first time someone was conceived by the Force. Shipper know this. That's why they so feverishly wrote so much shipping fanfic! It wasn't there in canon. If they wanted to have it, they had to create it. I rewrote The Force Awakens as a 34,000 word series of porn scenes!

The Old Guard. Yeah, I'm super aware that Nile and Booker did not bang in canon. We had one (1) movie. I wrote it anyway. And while I was at it, Andy and Booker banged as well. And while we didn't see any sex between Joe and Nicky in that movie, I have some in my fics. Yay me, right?

The Murderbot Diaries. Yes, I am fully aware that Murderbot's canon representation is sex-repulsed. I have written about 250k words in this fandom, 53 works, of which 43 are not shippy. 4 are shippy, but don't involve Murderbot (Overse/Arada and OCs). 6 involve MB (who continues to have a complicated relationship with relationships in them). That's 11% of my fics. It's not a big deal, guys. It's not even my main thing. I don't see that there's anything wrong with it though, even if I for some reason decided to write 100% MB-shippy stuff.

Anyone out there thinking shippers don't understand that canon doesn't support their takes? We do. We understand entirely. We're over here having a great time imagining what sounds fun to us, riffing off what canon started and taking it in sometimes bizarre new directions. It's not about one particular character, or fandom, or even about fandom itself! (I wasn't shipping those horses when I was a kid, but I sure as heck was doing something transformative from the canon with them.)

I don't know what it's about. I just know I like doing it.

[bxttxrflybxddie]

|Mime Bomb X Emotional!Reader|

a/n: hey! i'm trying to get back into writing so i'm really thankful for your guys' patience. also these kinda suck tsk tsk tsk i’m rusty. reader doesn't have powers but i still tried to make y/n and pepa similar! please enjoy!

pairing: mime bomb x reader

warnings: fluff. thieves stealing stuff and hearts <3 mb is creepy to ppl. lmk if i missed anything! they/them pronouns, gn reader in mind when written

post type: headcannons

requested: yes!

word count: 0.8k

mime bomb LOVES how expressive you are

he feels as if he found someone who truly understands him and his theatrics

his feelings began growing for you on the sunny isle of vile academy

you were just so amazing

you were a great student, your skills as a thief were remarkable, and you had to have been his only peer who didn't call him 'the weird quiet kid' along with other insults

you also didn't make fun of his braces, acne, or hair. which he greatly appreciated since he was an easy target for public ridicule

it was quick knowledge that when you felt, you felt HARD. if you were angry, sullen, excited, confident, etc. you would let everyone around know, positively or negatively

not even just with words, your actions and body language conveyed enough for you

your emotional personality was certainly admirable to him, seeing as in some ways he's the same

after being partners for a faux-robbery assignment in countess cleo's class, you both became fast friends

as your friendship grew, he found himself listening to you pretty often, if not daily

whether it is your vents about your problems at hand or just about the weather, he was always there to lend an ear

and in many times, a hand too!

however, this mime was raised on Shakespeare so asking him advice isn't a good idea unless you're looking for an interesting story

his crush on you grew rapidly with longing stares at you across the classroom and lingering touches when handing you paper assignments or writing utensils

soon enough it was time for graduation, where your class would finally show off your skills and steal luxuries for vile

both of you were partners for your first heists and he was nervous for his personal reasons

your form and posture were astonishing, the confidence you carried was alluring, and your aura as a thief was intoxicating

after a mission (failed; due to the Lady in Red 😔) Mime Bomb offered to help fix your injuries

his hold was gentle as he wrapped your wounds, medicated your scratches, and iced your bruises

up close gave you the chance to truly appreciate his attractiveness. including the small and unnoticeable from afar details such as his freckles, his neat eyebrows, and even his face shape

but nothing could top how soft he was looking at you. and at that moment you've never felt so seen or cared for.

as more than someone to be cautious of because of what your emotions could bring

your passionate nature brought you the reputation of not one to be messed with

and though that wasn't the worst thing in the world, it was nice for someone to treat you differently than a ticking time bomb (haha)

after a quick confession from him in the form of a kiss (that you deepened >:) ) the both of you were finally official

as your romantic relationship flourished, you can find mime bomb being your own cheerleader

in public, he won't try to embarrass you or anything but there is the hand around the waist or a quick kiss on the cheek 😚

it's very obvious he's proud to be your significant other

and he is!!! you're, without a doubt, his first romantic relationship so he wants to do good 4 u!

you're such an important person in his life 😭 you're his best friend

he wants to impress you literally so bad!! on a mission he will 💯 go off on his own and come back w a few stolen trinkets he thinks you'll like

DEAR LORD FORBID YOU GET GOSSIPED ABOUT

if he overhears someone whispering about some rumor (true or not lol) around you, he'll follow and blackmail them for something he finds that's WAY worse. plus, he gets to stir drama

however, if someone, who is dumb, shit talks you in front of him? he's quick to defend you!

he can't start an argument or anything verbal (since most ppl don't appreciate his mimery 🙄) but this redhead will go out of his way to act...extra creepy..around them. big toothy smiles and the presence of eyes never really leaving them

but! if u ask him not to he won't dw

he loves loves LOVES taking you out to dates like movies or performances! he gets to enjoy the theatre and how you're the perfect audience member

((shhh super secret time: he feels very Big And Strong® even you hold onto his arm in scenes that are scary or thrilling))

without a doubt mime bomb knows the cues for your feelings. from something small to an eyelid twitch or bigger like a change of stance, he knows when something's wrong and he'll want to know how to make it right

he's very patient with you! mime bomb cares plenty about how you feel and he wants you to know that you can take your time and not have to worry abt anything w him

he has pretty hands :) hold them

in private he is vry cuddly, he enjoys holding you or being held

he really enjoys attacking u with kisses >:) (if you're okay w it obvi) bc he gets to hear ur laugh

mime bomb loves your personality bc he loves YOU! 🖤

© BXTTERFLYBXDDIE

[molotovmetro]

hello,,, if possible can i get domestic life/married life with diluc, childe, kaeya, and albedo?? mb they are dads too?? thanks and love your work!

Thank you! I'm not too familiar with Albedo, so I'm sorry if he might be a bit ooc, I did my best! Also I think it's a bit more dad than just domestic life, I hope that's okay!

Cw: slight but nonspecific spoilers for Kaeya, other than that none I think! Let me know if I need to tag! (Maybe some Kaeya favouritism but shhh)

Domestic life/being dads

Diluc

Diluc is someone who likes to keep others at a distance. He has lost so much, and in his eyes, letting people in allows him to lose even more

So it is no small feat that you managed to creep into his life the way you did

After getting married and having kids, he gains another fear. Besides being scared to lose you, he now fears abandoning his family

The moment he hold his baby in his arms for the first time, the small tufts of hair on their head already visibly the same shade of crimson as his own, he vows to them to always be there for them.

He gives up most of his duties as the Darknight Hero—key word most, he doesn't have too much faith in the knights—in favour of being with you and your child, in favour of being safe.

As he gets older, he learns to forgive Kaeya. Over time, the brother reform their bond

This doesn't mean that he won't be jealous if his kid talks about how cool uncle Kaeya is

Tartaglia

One of the most important things in Childe's life is family. When things get serious between the two of you, you can bet he's in it for the long run

Especially after getting married, Tartaglia feels bad about having to be away as often as he is. He wants to be there for and with you

Even more so if you have kids. The last thing he wants is to be a deadbeat dad. It means everything to him to have a close relationship with your child

This leads to him being an incredibly involved parent. He will be at every sports game, every play, any contest, whatever his kid's hobbies are, he will be there to support them

He lives for domestic life. In the morning he wakes early to make breakfast for you and your kids, he will take them to school and pick them back up, he will play with them whenever they want, he would do anything for the kid

But when they're away or asleep, he's all yours

Both you and the kid are incredibly spoiled. You're left wanting for nothing as long as he's around, even if you tell him that no, the child does not need a new toy for the fifth time this week

Kaeya

Kaeya is unpredictable

You honestly never expected him to fully settle down, so when he proposed it definitely came as a surprise

There is no one in the world he trusts as much as he trusts you. That's why he chose to spend the rest of his life with you. You're not just his lover, you're also his best friend and confidant. You know his secrets, his past, everything

You're also the one who encouraged him to try and rekindle his relationship with his brother. With your meddling they have managed to at least be on friendly terms with each other. Albeit not without teasing

He asked Diluc to be his best man

Kaeya feels a bit double when he finds out you're pregnant. He struggles with his past, especially his roots, and now he will just be passing that burden on to this child

The worst of his worry is short lived though. As soon as the kid is born, it makes place for love and affection

He's definitely the fun dad. The kind who sneaks his kid a cookie before dinner with a wink and a finger to his lips telling them not to tell their mom

If his past ever catches up to him, there is no length he wouldn't go to to keep the two of you safe. No matter what, you're his priority. He would do anything for you

Albedo

While Albedo is a bit of a loner, he doesn't mind your presence. With time, companionship turns into romantic feelings and after dating for a few years the logical next step is marriage. Do not misunderstand, just because it's the most logical step, doesn't mean he's not excited for it

He treats both marriage and fatherhood as a bit of an experiment, but he will try to tone it down if that makes you uncomfortable

Besides the obvious love he feels for the both of you, he enjoys learning new things about humanity and the emotions and experiences that come with having a family

He is really good with kids, and Klee is ecstatic to have a niece or nephew, even though she's not actually related to Albedo

The activity he likes doing with his kid the most is arts and crafts. Usually in his paintings he focuses on one aspect and tries to capture it as accurately as possible, but he finds it rather therapeutic to fingerpaint or make origami or clay figures with his kid. It's truly an adorable sight

[uovoc]

Murderbot privacy

“SecUnit is a very private person, it doesn’t like to talk about its feelings” made me do a double take because I was like, SecUnit, who’s listening to you right now? Since when has it cared about privacy? Because while MB is a secretive fucker, it sure doesn’t extend that courtesy to others. And what I could figure out so far to explain this apparent hypocrisy is some more-or-less coherent stuff.

Summary:

MB conflates personal, private, and secret because these categories could not exist separately under the regime of surveillance and objectification inflicted upon it in the CR. This meant that the development of MB’s sense of personal identity was limited to its internal self. As a result, MB has a good instinctive grasp of the right to privacy regarding one’s emotions and internal state. However, its lack of bodily autonomy and background as a cog in the CR surveillance state have led it to regard physical privacy as a personal privilege rather than a right.

2200 words below the cut. I think about Murderbot a normal amount

Terminology

For clarity, the terms personal, private, secret, and privacy will be defined basically by their Merriam-Webster definitions. Personal will be used to mean relating to an individual’s character, conduct, motives, or private affairs. Secret is defined as kept from knowledge or view; hidden. Private will be used to mean 1) intended for or restricted to the use of particular person, group, or class. Privacy will be defined as the quality or state of being apart from company or observation; freedom from unauthorized intrusion. These are not comprehensive definitions, but for clarity’s sake they’re the ones I will use here.

The connotations that they carry in this analysis are:

Things that are secret are actively concealed. If something is secret, people are not aware of its existence. Secrets carry the implication of potential harm if divulged.

Privacy and things that are private are generally kept as such by social norms rather than active enforcement. The existence of things that are private may be known, but the details are limited to a restricted (trusted) audience. For instance, to quote Beatrice-Otter, “the contents of my underwear drawer are private, but not secret.” If you’re at someone’s house, you could technically go look in someone’s underwear drawer – it’s not like they can stop you – but out of the mutually agreed-upon respect for privacy and definition of what qualifies as private, you don’t. Things kept private tend to be done so for personal-emotional reasons rather than practical reasons.

These are limited definitions and not mutually exclusive. For instance, privacy can be enforced by gates and barriers like secrets are. These definitions aren’t meant to be comprehensive, but just to establish the meanings and connotations that I’m working with.

Privacy in the CR versus Preservation

Murderbot’s approach to privacy reflects the attitudes of the Corporation Rim. Preservation regards privacy more like a personal right and establishes it through primarily through societal norms, while the Corporation Rim treats privacy more like a personal privilege which individuals are responsible for securing and maintaining. In Preservation, freedom from observation is the default, and surveillance is the exception. To MBs annoyance, unless a space is singled out for security reasons (cargo spaces and high-traffic zones on the station), it’s generally left unsurveilled (residential areas, pedestrian corridors, most of the planet that we see in NE). Preservation also has cultural expectations of certain types of spaces being private. MB doesn’t share these expectations, as it notes in NE when it admits that its eavesdropping habit is “a little incriminating with the whole listening to private conversations in secured spaces and personal dwellings thing.” The specificity of “secured spaces and personal dwellings” makes this sound like something someone else said to MB that it’s now repeating, especially since it doesn’t agree that what others consider private conversations or private spaces are inherently off-limits to observation.

Unlike Preservation, MB sees privacy as a privilege rather than an inherent right, because it’s more used to the attitude of the CR surveillance state. In the labor installations that MB was deployed on, everything people did was observed by SecSystem at all times. If you wanted privacy, you had to pay for it, as MB notes in ES when it’s complaining about the lack of cameras in the fancy hotel that it books when it arrives. Even then, you might not get what you pay for, and MB take steps to secure PresAux’s own camera network that they later set up. In the CR, privacy is closer in meeting to secrecy, something that must be actively enforced and secured against intrusion. Corporate entities in the CR are motivated to erode personal privacy for profit in the form of datamining and workforce control. Privacy is thus a personal responsibility, since the surrounding environment is one that seeks to undermine it. This is the attitude towards privacy that MB is working with, and part of why it feels entitled to constant surveillance of its humans. In contrast, privacy in Preservation is a right maintained by the collective expectations and policies of the larger community. Station Security doesn’t exactly approve of MB setting up its own surveillance network, but nor does it do regular drone removal sweeps. MB expects privacy to be actively secured, and sees Preservation’s easily breached systems as the equivalent of leaving your valuables out on the lawn. If you don’t want to be surveilled, don’t go around being surveillable.

Surveillance exemptions

Instances where MB appears to respect the notion of privacy are sex/bodily functions, proprietary data, and feelings talks. However, out of these 3 categories, feelings are the topic where MB’s motivations align most closely with the human understanding of privacy. MB’s aversion to sex is more of an ick factor thing, since it repeatedly states that it finds human bodily functions to be disgusting. (I think touch aversion is also part of the sex-repulsed thing, but touch aversion aligns more with ick factor and also with lack of bodily autonomy, discussed below.)

Proprietary data is another topic on which MB appears to be on the same page as humans regarding “private” as being restricted to a particular group: it doesn’t tell the Mensah parents about Amena’s creepy date, and it removes the audio when it shows Indah the video of Mensah complaining about another councilmember. In both of these cases, there’s the potential for harm if the information is divulged: Amena would get scolded and possibly grounded by her parents, and Mensah’s relationships with the Council and Senior Indah would be damaged by her lack of professionalism. In a business context, proprietary data is information kept within a company because it would give your competitors an advantage, or because your competitors could use it to put you at a disadvantage – pretty much the same results, in the game of capitalism. Although both of these examples deal with personal-emotional information, the concept of proprietary data is closer to secrecy in its potential for harm and complete concealment of the information’s existence.

The third type of situation where MB appears to be on the same page as humans regarding privacy is people talking about their feelings. After Arada gets back from the Barish-Estranza negotiations, MB pointedly does not watch her and Overse make up because of the high likelihood that “they were having sex and/or a relationship discussion (either of which I would prefer to stab myself in the face than see).” Sex falls under the ick factor, but there’s a number of reasons the fandom collective braincell has pointed out for MB not wanting to watch people talk about their feelings:

MB exercising the privilege of not having to care about human feelings, as a formerly enslaved person subjected to human whims.

Secondhand embarrassment because MB would never talk about its feelings.

Related to the above, MB reflexively recoiling out of empathy because if it was in their position, it wouldn’t want someone listening in on its feelings.

Actually, now that I think of it, MB doesn’t go into great detail on why it doesn’t like watching humans talk about their feelings, unlike how it explicitly expresses its disgust for anything involving human fluids. Which is why I’ve got the suspicion that when it comes to feelings, MB does have a strong instinctive understanding of what it means for something to be private and, as a result, gets uncomfortable observing a moment that is not meant for others to see. MB has an easier time understanding how privacy applies to feelings rather than acts because unlike its body, its feelings are strongly tied to its concept of what is personal.

MB’s internal and external self

To paraphrase this one MDZS meta, MB’s body is not its own. MB’s sense of what is personal to it, or its sense of unique identity, applies more its internal self than its external self because of its former nonperson status in the CR. This informs what MB considers to be inherently private. While in the CR, its appearance and configuration were decided by the company. To be fair, humans don’t get to choose our original bodies either, but our bodies and the modifications we make to them tell a story of our personal background. The history inscribed in MB’s body, down to the logos etched on its structure, is that of a mass-produced piece of corporate equipment. MB does not have a particular attachment to its external appearance (“standard human”) because its appearance reflects the company’s choices rather than its own. (This changes after it gains the freedom to choose its own clothes and gets tabletop surgery from ART, discussed at the end.) Although MB’s configuration is what makes it a SecUnit, and being a SecUnit is an essential part of its identity, it’s not an identity that’s unique to MB.

For most of its life, MB’s actions have also been extensions of the company. Its actions have either been dictated by its clients and governor module, or it has had to pretend to be controlled by those things, which means making decisions which could conceivably have been issued with the governor module’s approval. MB is also used to selling its body, since it’s expected to literally sacrifice pieces of itself to keep its clients safe (an expectation it continues to hold). MB has been ship-of-Theseus’d to hell and back. The lack of both bodily autonomy and bodily safety due to its nonperson status in the CR means that MB considered its body to be neither private (restricted to the use of only one person) nor entirely personal (pertaining to its unique character).

As a consequence, MB doesn’t consider its external self to have the right to privacy. Although it doesn’t like being looked at, it’s reaction is to hide rather than ask people to stop. (This is also because MB isn’t used to exercising its personal preferences regarding other people’s actions, but that’s a different angle.) It doesn’t like it when Mensah walks into the security ready room, or when its humans and ART’s crew are watching it come out of involuntary shutdown on the deck, but it doesn’t tell them to stop. In general, MB doesn’t like being looked at because if it’s falling apart, it’s in a vulnerable state, and if it’s not falling apart, then being paid attention to used to carry the threat of abuse/incoming orders/being clocked as a rogue. These reasons are more about safety than privacy.

However, MB specifically doesn’t like people looking at its face are because its face shows its emotions, and its emotions are a reflection of its internal state and, by extension, its internal self. MB considers its thoughts and emotions to have the right to privacy because they are the aspects of itself that it has been able to control, and thus has been able to make personal. When Gurathin reveals its name, it grates out, “That was private.” On one level, Murderbot’s name is an honest expression of what it thinks it is and all the associated self-loathing and guilt. MB does NOT want humans to know its name because then they know how it feels about a topic truly important to it. On another level, its name reveals its self-deprecating humor, something a ruthless killing machine is not supposed to have.

Everything that MB considers personal, it has also needed to keep secret, because in the CR, it’s not supposed to be a person the first place. Conversely, the only reason it’s been able to have personal opinions and emotions is because it has been able to keep these things secret. Anything MB would have wanted to be private – restricted to a trusted audience – would have also needed to be secret because of the pervasive surveillance present in the CR, the nonperson status of constructs, and the fact that it had no trusted audience with which it could share private information.

Conclusions

MB conflates the categories of personal, private, and secret because these concepts could not exist separately under the regime of surveillance and objectification inflicted upon it in the CR. Anything in one category had to be able to fit into the others, which limited the development of MB’s sense of personal identity to its internal self. Although MB has good instinctive grasp of the right to privacy regarding one’s internal state, MB’s lack of bodily autonomy and its background as a cog in the CR surveillance state have led it to regard physical privacy as a personal privilege rather than a right.

Now that MB’s in a safer place (kidnappings by giant asshole research transports aside), it’s beginning to separate out those concepts a bit and allow things to be personal and private but not secret (its desire to be with ART, its affection towards Mensah). It’s also starting to allow things that are neither secret nor private to be personal (expressing preferences in its hairstyle, clothing, and aversion to physical touch), which can also be considered MB reclaiming its external self/body.

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[everything-laito]

About the theory that maybe Laito doesn't like to be touched as much as he says he does.

This was submitted by @grs-wonder320! I did not edit anything in their response (or the title), I just added paragraph breaks so it's easier to read. I'll put my response below as well!

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I am not the one who asked this question, but I would like to take this opportunity to express my personal opinion on this question. As it turns out, I have a completely different opinion than Corn. That is to say, I believe that there is a good chance that Laito does not like to be touched.

Rationale: I believe that there is a psychology of "excessive pandering to those things that are disgusting or painful to you," and I think that this psychology makes us appear to be happy on the surface, even though we actually dislike them. There are many exceptions to this rule. You may be thinking, "No, no, there are many exceptions to this rule. It is true that this rule does not apply in all situations. It mainly works when he is playing a pervert. So, why does he dare to act perverted in the first place? Most of the time, it's because he wants to be smoked out by the people around him. Why do you want to be smoked? ↓ I don't want to attract them to myself. ↓ Even though he doesn't want to be around other people, he is very sociable (compared to the people around him, that is). So it's hard to imagine why he is annoyed by human relationships like Subaru. ↓ Then there is a good chance that they want to hide something or smoke you out because there is something they don't want you to know. ↓ There is often a pattern of people who want to hide the fact that they are actually perverts, so they pretend to be sane on the surface.

In other words, the Laito that is ostensibly acting as a pervert is _____? Yes, that's what I mean. (What do you mean?) It's almost impossible to play a pervert to hide a pervert, isn't it? Most of the time, people play a false image to hide the opposite nature. In Laito's case, considering what happened in the past, it can be seen as "I'm acting perverted because I want to hide the fact that I'm hurt, and I don't want to be aware that I'm hurt, so I'm acting perverted as a self-suggestion.

There are not many people who can be sincerely friendly to the events that hurt them. In the first place, being "hurt" proves that there was something disgusting about you, so we can conclude that Laito is likely to have an aversion to sexual things. I think this explains the psychology that exists in Laito. Back to the topic at hand, I think it's hard to believe that Laito likes to be touched.

In Corn's answer, he used the example of "Laito trying to get me to touch him", which I think can also be explained by the aforementioned psychology. I, too, have a desire to challenge things I dislike (although this is due to overcoming my weaknesses and seeing things that scare me, and is not the same as Laito's), so I think it is entirely possible for someone to "dare to do something they dislike. Also, there is a high possibility that Laito is not aware of his own aversion to sexual matters, and if that is the case, everything is "true" in his mind, so naturally he would not be aware that he is doing something he dislikes. It could be called an unconscious act of self-harm. In the real world, you can only be aware of it when someone points it out to you, or you break your body by going over the limit. I think Laito has that kind of thing too. (Especially Laito in MB). This concludes the explanation. Thank you very much for reading this far!

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First of all, I'm unsure what you mean by "smoking out," If you could provide clarification on that, that would be great! I think I know what you mean by it, I'm just a lil confused and hope I didn't misinterpret it!

I do agree with you on your psychology on the excessive pandering part! That's exactly what Laito does most of the time, it's what fuels his facade! As for touching, I do think that speculating it could go either way. I do think Laito is touch starved though. Sure people who are touch starved might not want to be touched. I have thought about it since I made that post and honestly, he might want to be touched just like he wants to have genuine love, but he's insecure about it almost.

However, if he was excessively pandering about being touched, he might have done that more often. The only time where he asks Yui to touch him throughout the entire HDB game is only in that supposed mutual masturbation scene, and his heaven scenario. He is known to have a masochistic streak regardless. The other times its Yui either pushing him or slapping him etc. (I'm planning on going over his masochism on a later date)

Laito excessively panders when he says absolutely wild shit that makes others uncomfortable, or gets Yui to be unnerved.

In my previous post, I did say that he could be playing it up! But the fact that he doesn't have Yui touch him until late game does say something. It shows that he's opening up and being more vulnerable. Sure this is HDB Laito and we don't really get much of his facade cracking in that game compared to MB+. Late game HDB Laito is able to let down his guard slightly, since he knows he has Yui wrapped around his finger. The thing is, his excessive pandering to him being a pervert is typically used for manipulation. Your psychology checks out in everything else about him, I do agree with that. But as for touching, that doesn't really "prove" to Yui that Laito's a pervert.

If Laito wanted to utilize touch as a facade of control, he would have done it earlier. Instead, he used other methods to give Yui a false sense of security at times, which he used to break her down further. Could he be doing it in order to show Yui he doesn't have a weakness? He could, but once again when it comes to topics or situations where he doesn't want to be involved with, he acts aloof and avoids it at all costs while changing the conversation. That's my rationale on that. The fact that he has such a different reaction being touched vs his other activities that could be considered as "excessive pandering" is a lil ~sus~ as they say. Or inversely, maybe Laito doen't address the fact that he likes being touched because he might consider genuine thrill as a weakness but maybe he gets desperate. He's desperate for legitimate compassion, the mans needs it.

As for challenging things you dislike, that also checks out in general. However, when it comes to Laito, he likes a sense of control and security. Instructing Yui to touch him gives that sense of control, but also lets him be slightly vulnerable. It's not even that vulnerable because if she does anything that could potentially harm Laito, he would be able to stop it in an instant.

He doesn't like challenging himself, and we all know this. His facade was created so he doesn't have to challenge himself to get over his past trauma. It's to avoid it and not challenge it instead.

I do think that Laito is incredibly self aware and self unaware at the same time. It's a little paradoxical but I feel like he knows he has a facade, but again, he tries to avoid the fact that he does have one and that his facade is true. We do know he's self aware through drama cds and what he says about himself in the games. They're vague, but once you know his character, you know what he's talking about. The fact that he projects onto Yui also says a lot about that.

Also, a little side note as well, in MB he does have consensual sex with Yui. Before that scene happened, he was being extremely vulnerable and a good chunk of his facade broke down. There's a certain tone when you know Laito's being serious and taking down his mask, and that's exactly what he did in that MB scene. Here's a quote from it:

Laito: For some reason, I feel strangely refreshed. Don’t you think that’s weird? I couldn’t get your blood out of my head for the longest time, but it finally calmed down. Right now, it isn’t your blood, but instead I want to hold your warm body close like this… And kiss you…I want to indulge in your body until I’m sick and tired of it. Nfu~

In this scene, Laito was happy crying, which was something he was not familiar with but also hasn't experienced before. It's an involuntary bodily function, yet he was confused by it. This just shows he is genuinely happy, and the fact that he says that he genuinely is admitting to what he wants for once, I don't think it's excessive pandering in this scene, it's him developing. You could argue that he got over his aversion to being touched in this scene. There's a couple asks in my ask box that's related to him and sex, which I will also get to sometimes this week. But that's a different post.

Again I think it could be argued either way, but that's my thought process behind this aside from what I previously said! There's just a lot to think about when it comes to this, and we won't know unless if something is said in canon! But Laito's incredibly complex and there's several factors that explains his behavior.

Hope that makes sense! And once again, thanks so much for submitting! I love hearing people's opinions and their own thoughts that either confirm or challenge my own, so thank you for that! This one definitely got me thinking more. That's the beauty in analysis! Each person takes something different from the text!

And who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind in the future!

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What a coward ass account. I’ve asked about several questions but I bet you won’t answer it because apparently you ship a fake ship and have 0 backbone and you can’t argue with anyone because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship. Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that. Wake up. Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy so how tf are y’all so fucking delulu and blind?

You know, normally I’d just delete something as rude as this but honestly you gave me a good laugh with it so I’ll take the bait. But FYI, while I planned on answering these questions sooner or later, because imagine this, some of us have jobs and things we need to take care of and thus sometimes just don’t have the time to write posts, especially when some of them take a lot of time and research, even more so when an average thematic post from me is somewhere between 2 and 5k words long. That takes a hot minute to write. Not that you’d care, but now I don’t think I’ll answer them because I truly don’t appreciate you coming into our asks and being this unnecessary level of rude. If you felt like I skipped your question or was taking an oddly long time to answer, it would’ve sufficed to send in a small question about it and you would’ve gotten a normal answer for it, but guess not.

There are several things I find extremely interesting and also hilarious about your ask, especially since they confirm basically every suspicion I have about shipping when it comes to Bangtan and mlm ships in general.

But I’d like to start with this first because it really made me pause there for a minute: “because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship” Since your ask is about Namjin I will assume this part is as well, yes, and I really am struggling to see how they, of all ships, are a “fanservice” one considering both Namjoon and Seokjin aren’t really big on skinship and initiating hugs and touches. What, exactly, about them is fanservice? Even more so since you go on to say this: “Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” so if these are your definition of what constitutes a) fanservice and b) a relationship, yet you claim Namjin is just fanservice, how can that be if you say they never do any? This math doesn’t math, you know.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s break this down point by point, shall we?

1. “Jin is never intimate with Joon” – Tell me, dear anon, how exactly do you know that? Are you their friend? A fly living on their wall and watching over them 24/7? And also, how, exactly, are we supposed to be shown that by them? Is Namjoon supposed to walk over to Seokjin and, I don’t know, make out with him while Bangtan B*mb Noona stands a meter away and films the whole thing? What even does intimate mean in your definition? I have a sneaking suspicion of what you’re asking for but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Since I like language, let’s get into the literal definition of the word intimate, shall we, because you might be surprised to find it doesn’t just mean what you think it does. According to the Cambridge dictionary, intimate has several meanings, and what Namjoon and Seokjin show us and tell us that they have is actually several of them:

“Being a close, personal friend”, does that ring a bell? It does, doesn’t it? Namjoon and Seokjin have known each other for ten years almost, have spent a considerable amount of time together, have had dinner with each other’s families, Namjoon was at Seokjin’s brother’s wedding, and Namjoon is the person he turns to when it comes to his lyrics, always makes sure to thank Namjoon in his Thank You section in their albums, and supports him however he sees fit. Isn’t that intimate?

I know you mean the sexual kind of intimate, and truly that is something neither you nor I have any knowledge of and, surprise, it’s none of our business either. If I remember correctly, we’ve never brought up anything really sexual in any of our posts because I don’t believe in this whole “sexual tension” thing that toxic shippers go around preaching about. Even if it were there, that’s not for us to discuss because their sex life is none of our business.

Next.

2. “never tells me he loves him” – Never tells you he loves him? And why, pray tell, should he tell you, specifically? Yes, I’m being petty, so what. Love speaks many different languages, and saying the words “I love you” is just one of many, many different ways in which you can let someone know you love and cherish them, romantically and platonically. Years ago when Seokjin posted a cover on SoundCloud he said in the accompanying post that he prefers saying I like you over I love you, so I guess that means he just doesn’t love anyone, yes? Besides, is he obliged to stand in front of the camera and profess his undying love to Namjoon for you to believe he loves our dearest leader?

Isn’t it enough that he shows his love and respect for Namjoon in other ways, like praising him when Namjoon was being hard on himself so Seokjin told him he did well and that he always does well even in tricky situations, or being by his side during red carpets and other such things because Namjoon once asked him to do so because he feels calmer when Seokjin is by his side? Isn’t that a beautiful way of showing someone you love them, regardless if it’s romantic or platonic love?

Next.

3. “never goes out of his way to spoil him” – Is Seokjin Namjoon’s sugar daddy? Did I miss something?

Next.

4. “never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” – now this point I have the biggest rage at because neither of these things—possessiveness and jealousy—are good things, especially not in a romantic relationship, but really, they aren’t a good thing in any kind of relationship. Possessiveness is a slippers slope, as is jealousy, the former being a great gateway toward an abusive relationship and while that might be “”””cute”””” in raunchy romance novels and movies, it isn’t in real life. And neither is jealousy. The only thing jealousy really tells and shows you, in the context you are going for, is insecurity and a lack of faith in your relationship and especially your partner. And that, again, isn’t a good or healthy thing for a relationship, especially not a romantic one. I know toxic shippers eat up this whole jealousy bs, YouTube is full of it after all and brings in hundreds of thousands of views (and dollars), but that has nothing to do with real life. So, the fact that we never see Seokjin, or Namjoon, jealous or possessive over the other? That is a good thing. Besides, enlighten me, how is this jealousy supposed to look like because true jealousy doesn’t appear written across your face in neon letters. I’m curious.

Next.

5. “Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that.” – if that is your opinion, I’m happy for you. I won’t go out of my way to prove to you why I think differently or why you should because that’s not what I’m here for. Yes, I have a certain opinion on Namjin, that’s true, but I’m not a toxic shipper who will fights someone tooth and nail over it because that’s stupid. And won’t change anything anyway. Besides, my opinion doesn’t in any shape or form negate that they are friends. Every good relationship should have friendship as basis, and I very much believe that they are very close friends, while your phrasing makes it seem like you think they are only work friends, as in people who are friends during working hours but stop once they clock out of work, just saying.

The purpose of this blog isn’t to somehow convert people into shippers or convince them of something, instead it’s simply supposed to be a happy space where we share our opinions, have fun with Bangtan, their music and everything else, and can have civil conversations without calling anyone out or calling each other names. It’s literally in our blog description “Sharing thoughts on everything Bangtan, as well as vmin and namjin”, meaning it is a blog “designed” for both OT7s as well as people who already are vminnies or namjinists, or both, and yet if someone happens to start liking one of these two pairings because of our posts, like I’ve seen happen with some readers and namjin, that’s great, but that’s not our primary goal in any kind of way.

This is our blog which also means we have the freedom to answer whichever asks we want to and however quickly we want or can. Chances are, perhaps, the way you phrased your ask simply didn’t sit well with us and thus we decided against answering it at the time. Just some food for thought.

Lastly, there are a lot of blogs that surely represent your opinions and agree with you, so what, exactly, are you looking for on our blog? Do you think by sending an ask like this, or questioning my opinions in such a manner, you’ll be able to convert us away from our opinions? Neither of us forces anyone to agree with everything we say, so you don’t have to either, and we also don’t force anyone to read our posts. If you don’t like what we post, you are free to look for a different blog with which you’ll be able to agree and find your opinion represented, I won’t stop you. Enjoy.

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[doyelikehaggis]

oh god I want to ask abt many of ur wips but the one that v obviously stands out the most to me is valerine and the twins !! that ficlet u did for this concept with teh mb still lives in my head rent free so ofc I want to know how that fic is going. also 40 (bc what a concept !!) and/or 53 <33

I thought that would be the one that most interested you haha, of course you can know how it's going, I am very pleased that it lives rent free in your head. You obviously know the basic concept, which is that Valerie and Caroline get full custody of the twins, so we'll jump right into the snippet instead!

"I want to go for full custody." 

Valerie stops. Her hands are drenched in bubbles and soapy water, a plate in one hand and the sponge in her other. She looks more domestic than Caroline ever thought she'd see her, hair tied back loosely and wearing one of Caroline's softest plaid shirts. It's orange and pink. It's a good look on her. 

The smile that had been caught on her lips just a second ago has faded slightly as she processes what Caroline just said. In all fairness, it's a big thing to just casually throw out into a normal conversation while washing the dishes. 

"Okay," Valerie says slowly. "Um... Okay, that's a pretty big deal." She lets the plate slide back into the sink and turns to Caroline, shaking her head. "I mean, I think you should."

Caroline blinks. She was expecting a more alarmed response; usually, in tv shows and books, when one person says they want to get full custody of a kid, it's a big deal for the partner, right? They're not sure they can handle it, they're not sure their relationship will be able to get through it, all of that. 

Flat out agreement wasn't quite on the list. 

"Really?" she asks, straightening up with a surge of joyful hope. "You do? You're not -- you don't want to -- to talk about it or anything?" 

Valerie frowns, her brow wrinkling. Caroline's always liked the little crease it makes between her eyebrows. Not when she first met her, that was more satisfying, knowing she had stumped her. But recently, it's become a fond thing rather than one for her to be triumphant over. 

"Caroline, they're your kids," Valerie says. "If you want full custody of them, it's not my place to have a say in that." 

The hope is quickly pricked with a sharp little pin and bursts, deflating with a sad whistle. It weirdly stings her, too.

"That's... No, that's not how this works," Caroline says, weirdly hurt. Maybe she had been expecting a bit more hesitation surrounding the idea, but this feels worse. 

Valerie seems to be realizing that. Confused, grabs a towel from the sideboard and starts drying her hands, while she says, "It isn't?" 

"No!" Caroline laughs in disbelief. She steps forward and takes one of her partially dry hands in between both of her own. "No, it's absolutely not. Val, you are a big part of my life now. You know that, right?" 

Valerie hesitates now. Her mouth opens like she wants to agree, but her just runs along her teeth while that little crease in her eyebrows grows deeper. 

"Well, yeah," she quickly says after a moment, with Caroline's exasperated stare focused on her. "Of course I do. But I wouldn't stand in the way of any decisions you wanted to make about your kids, that's why I just thought this was more you telling me rather than something for us to talk about." 

Caroline's realizing that Valerie's response wasn't because she doesn't want to be part of the family. She just doesn't think that she is part of it. 

Which... actually hurts even more, Caroline finds. Because maybe that's on her. Has she been making her feel left out? Like she's a separate part of her life from Lizzie and Josie? That was the last thing she wanted. 

"Valerie," Caroline says seriously, and her eyes widen a little with worry. "Almost every decision that I make for my future is going to include your voice, because it's going to affect yours, too. That's what being in a relationship is, remember? So, if I tell you that I want to get full custody of Lizzie and Josie, I'm asking you to talk it through with me before anything goes ahead. Are you okay with having that conversation?" 

She has never seen Valerie look so stumped for what to say before. It's the first time they've had a conversation like this, one that's really going to affect both of them.

But even though she has that fight-or-flight, ready to flee at a moment's notice look in her eyes that she often gets, Valerie nods slowly. Then her face breaks out into a smile, and she breathes out a soft laugh, looking down. 

"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, I would love that."

Now, 40! Hope living with Jeremy! It is certainly a concept, isn't it?? This comes entirely from the start of season 2 of Legacies, when no one remembered Hope but she was sticking around Mystic Falls to help with the Malivore monsters. When watching that, my mum and I had been trying to guess who she was going to live with, because surely she wouldn't be living on her own and she couldn't stay at the school, so we came up with the theory that she was going to be living with Jeremy, who, as far as we knew, would have to have somewhere to live while he was in town. And then I decided that if she was going to be living with Jeremy, they would train together, he would help with some Malivore monsters, then they would slowly bond because Jeremy was actually kinda friends with Kol at one point. And then we have big brother Jeremy! Have a little snippet:

There's a loud thwacking noise from the back garden as Hope walks into the kitchen. She pauses momentarily in her sleepy state, registers the noise, then continues going about grabbing a bowl and her box of cereal. It's nearly empty, she finds, to her dismay. 

Once she's poured the last of the milk and tossed the carton, she opens up the back door and steps out into the garden. Her eyes adjust quickly to the darkness and hone in on the figure currently throwing a staff around at a tree like it has personally offended him.

"Are you ever worried that one day it's going to fight back?" she asks curiously. 

Jeremy startles and nearly drops the staff in his haste to turn around to face her. 

"I mean, dryads and wood nymphs are actually a thing. Just so you know. That tree might have a family that probably wouldn't appreciate you hitting it repeatedly for fun."

She spoons cereal into her mouth as Jeremy laughs. Relieved that she isn't some Malivore monster sneaking up on him, he relaxes enough to double over, hands on his knees as he breathes heavily. For someone who's not exactly unfit or unathletic, he gets out of breath incredibly easily.

Tilting her head, Hope asks, "Have you ever considered that you might be asthmatic? You breathe like one."

"And you talk like your uncle," Jeremy quips back, still laughing at her comments. He groans, straightening back up as he adds, "But yes, I do have asthma. Thanks for your concern."

Hope's heart beats a little faster. It always does when her family is mentioned, more often now than before. The urge to get on the bus and go home to them in New Orleans is still there, no matter how much she tries to ignore it. She needs to focus on Malivore's monsters. But it's hard sometimes.

She smiles to herself, wondering if he's right. She hopes so. Uncle Kol was always her favourite. The thought that she could be making him proud with just a few words fills her with a kind of happy pride she hasn't felt since Uncle Kol told her she was just like him for causing trouble at the Salvatore School. 

Then she wipes it off her face like she always does whenever he casually talks about her family, straightens up against the doorframe, and says, "Maybe you should use an inhaler, then. I wouldn't want you dropping dead while we're fighting a monster." 

"Hasn't happened yet!" 

She rolls her eyes at him, something she also finds herself doing often these days. It's easier to ignore him and continue eating her cereal while he goes back to training. Clearly, he has no concern about dryads coming after him for revenge.

"Hey, do you wanna join?" Jeremy calls over to her. 

He offers the staff out to her, but she shakes her. Motioning her cereal with her spoon, she smiles again, and says, "I'm good. Just came down for this. You have fun freezing out here, though."

She turns back inside the kitchen as Jeremy chuckles and shakes his head at her. "Good morning to you too."

53 is a good choice, I very much enjoy that one as well. "Klayley Wedding" is pretty much what it sounds like; Klaus and Hayley are together and getting married. They waited a while to do so, so Hope is seventeen and being pulled out of the Salvatore School for a few days in order to be there for it. And she's bringing a date! Here is your preview:

"Come on, humour me," Lizzie whines as she fusses with the back of Hope's hair. Why she agreed to let her style it, Hope has no idea; it was definitely a moment of bad judgment, but at the same time, it was let her do it when she begged, or be forever resented for saying no. 

And having Lizzie Laughlin-Forbes resent you is not something anyone in the Salvatore School risks. It's signing a death sentence. 

Rolling her eyes, Hope goes to shake her head then quickly stops when Lizzie holds it firmly on both sides and glares at her in the mirror. "No moving until I'm done!" she reminds her. "I haven't spelled it yet, you'll mess it up."

"Have you ever considered going into hairdressing?" Hope asks dryly, glaring back halfheartedly. Really, she doesn't mind her helping her out. 

It's at least better than her having to worry about it herself. Though, Aunt Rebekah is not going to be happy that she didn't let her do it. It's why she's practically been avoiding her since getting to New Orleans. 

Lizzie laughs shortly, then says, "Nice try. You're not wriggling out of the question."

Hope doesn't admit that's what she was trying to do, but it definitely was the intention. Lizzie has been a broken record since she found out that Hope was bringing a date to the wedding. At first, she was offended that Hope hadn't asked her, but then saw Hope's reasoning when she pointed out that she and Josie were already going to be there because of their mom.

"It's not a big deal!" Hope says, finally at least acknowledging the question. 

Lizzie scoffs. "Oh, of course not. Except, it absolutely is, and you know that it definitely is to Rafael. You basically asked him to meet your family, Hope. That's a big deal to most people."

"Not to you or Josie." 

"We've known your family since we were born!" Lizzie protests. She stops whatever she was doing to Hope's hair to stare at her in the mirror. "Rafael is head over heels in love with you, any person with barely working eyes -- or ears -- knows that. Except you, apparently!"

Hope shakes her head, once again forgetting Lizzie's rule. Lizzie quickly holds her head in place again, but she's too focused on the conversation at hand to lecture her again. 

"Maybe this is your way of letting him down without having to actually tell him!" Lizzie continues, obviously trying to get under her skin. "After all, you've invited him to meet your family, who are probably going to threaten him at every turn. Especially your dad, because of the whole macho alpha werewolf thing, you know?"

"My mom's actually the Alpha of the pack, not my dad," Hope corrects, but Lizzie brushes it off.

"After today, Rafael's probably not going to have any feelings for you anymore out of fear of your family, so, really, you won't have to do anything. I mean, it's smart -- a little cruel, but at least you don't have to do any of the hard work yourself, that's all up to your family--" 

"You make them sound terrifying," Hope protest with a touch of offence to her voice, staring up at Lizzie in the mirror. "They're not that bad. I actually think they'll like Raf." 

Lizzie raises an eyebrow. She's smiling.

"Is that because you want them to like him?" she asks slowly, and Hope groans, but Lizzie quickly presses on before she can interrupt, "Just admit you asked him to be your date because you like him!" 

"If I do, will you shut up and finish my hair so that we can go and meet Josie and Raf?" 

Lizzie lights up like a Christmas tree. She squeals excitedly, even though Hope technically hasn't even admitted anything yet. She's taking it as all the confirmation she needs. 

"I like him," Hope says anyway, and maybe she's smiling a little as well. "And yes, it would be convenient for me if my parents liked him before anything happened between us." 

"I knew it," Lizzie breathes out, shaking her head. She picks back up where she left off with Hope's hair as if nothing happened. "Now that that's over. Tell me, would your Aunt Rebekah mind if I borrowed that really gorgeous emerald bracelet she showed us yesterday?" 

Hope is laughing. Lizzie can't seem to figure out why, but honestly, Hope's just so happy in the moment that she can't help herself. For a moment on the way over to New Orleans, when everyone was packed onto that bus, shouting and arguing, she thought this was going to be a disaster. Someone would end up killing someone. 

There's still time for that, especially since neither she nor her mom have told her dad that she has a date. But Hope is finally living up to her name for once and is choosing to be hopeful that, actually, maybe everything is allowed to go right for once. 

God, writing those snippets took me so long, so apologies for the delay! But I actually enjoyed this a lot so thank you so much for giving me motivation! Who knows, I might actually finish writing them now! (God, now all I can think about is TVD and Legacies, I haven’t been here in ageeeees. Time to rewatch TVD season 1-6 and season 2 of Legacies, I think.)