#when parents aren't home I have the house all to myself lmao

[rosiespokemontwitterau]

Hashtag Relatable. ヽ(≧∀≦)ﾉ

[thatfreshi]

"Tough Crowd" (Uni AU P. 1)

Really embracing the catty queerness of these fuckers LMAO. Anyways, here's our little intro to Ravenguard Univeristy and Tav's living situation :)

Tw - mention of alcohol

@justporo (If you want me to tag you in part two, leave a comment!)

It's finally move-in day. After getting your Associate's degree at some small-town community college, you finally transferred to Ravenguard University, probably through sheer luck. Perhaps someone dropped out of the waitlist, but you're here now, moving into the place that'll be your home for the upcoming semesters. Soon enough you're asked for your name, and given the key to your room, quickly being ushered to the elevators. The volunteering students are clearly stressed by all the newcomers, so you don't exactly blame them for seeming impersonal.

You read your key, which has deemed you to be in room 717. Sneaking your way over to the floor buttons, you lightly tap 7, and place yourself in one of the empty corners of the elevator. After dropping off a few strangers on lower floors, you finally get to your destination, and find your dorm room shortly after. When you unlock the door, you immediately hear arguing.

"I need the room with the desk! I have far too many exams to study for. Besides, you don't seem like the studying type anyways."

Two women are yelling at each other, one with jet-black hair and the other with piercing eyes and an intimidating demeanor.

"We're all here to study fool."

"Well, as far as I know, you don't want to be a doctor. Besides, aren't you just here as an athlete? Or, my bad, were here as an athlete?"

At this point the ginger is fuming, fists clenched, but simply takes the room they were arguing over and slams the door, locking it immediately. The med student slams her fist on the door.

"Just wait til I tell the RA about this Lae'zel!"

She sighs, clearly still trying to let go of her anger. When she turns from the closed door, she finally realizes you're standing there.

"Sorry about that. Roommate problems, am I right?"

The pale woman nervously chuckles. Dressed in all black, she looks ready for a funeral, well if funerals were comfy and full of college students.

"Uh, yeah. Please don't tell me you're going to be arguing like this every night."

"Well, her and I don't particularly get along. I'm surprised housing even let us be in the same room after how many issues we've had. Though I'm sure I'll learn to tolerate her better in our living situation."

The woman ponders the thought for a moment, and then her eyes light up.

"I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Shadowheart, and yes my parents are hippies. Most people call me Shadow since it's less cringe."

"Well, nice to meet you. Please tell me there's a room I can snag that you aren't fighting about."

"Oh, go down the hall and to the right. That one has a bigger wardrobe, but Lae and I both really wanted the desk."

Your phone vibrates, with a notification from some online magazine.

'Szarr: The Seven Models Behind the Magic'

"Why has this man been doing so many interviews?"

Shadowheart's ears perk up.

"You know Szarr, that fashion guy right? He's been all over the news, I cannot escape it."

"Oh. You may want to be careful how you talk about him. One of his precious prodigies goes here. Kind of a bitch honestly."

She makes a fake throw-up noise, rolling her eyes.

"Wait. One of his models goes here? I assumed they were all full-time."

"He's full-time alright. I've never seen Astarion pause for anything other than himself. Anyways, I suppose I need to unpack my things IN THE ROOM WITHOUT A DESK."

Shadowheart yells the last part loud enough for Lae'zel to hear, which coerces a groan from her behind the locked door. And just like that, she's locked away in her own room, leaving you with the room at the end of the hall. At least it has the nice wardrobe? You put on some music and start to unpack all your bags, soaking in the space. It leaves some to be desired, but you're excited nonetheless. You're woken from the trance however when there's a very loud knock at your dorm door. You wait for a moment, hoping one of the other two will get it, but the knocking simply continues obnoxiously. Making your way to the front door with a scowl on your face, you throw it open.

"Floor meeting in thirty minutes. If you or any of your roommates are late, I'll kill you."

You're met with the topic of your previous conversation: Astarion. While you aren't necessarily into fashion, you've seen so much about this guy as of recent, mostly from people thirsting on Twitter. You almost laugh, knowing Shadowheart will be pissed when she hears that he's the RA for their floor. He doesn't wait for you to respond and simply walks down to the next room. After closing the door, you call for your new gossipy friend.

"Oh Shadow, I have wonderful news!"

She opens her door and leans in the frame.

"Please tell me I heard that voice wrong."

"Nope. I guess if you want to complain about Lae'zel, you'll have to see your favorite person!"

She lets out a heavy sigh.

"Fine. I guess I'll just deal with her. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

You knock on Lae'zel's door to tell her about the meeting, but you're simply met with a yell of 'I know!'

"Geez, tough crowd."

"She's the toughest crowd you'll meet. Don't ever try to impress her, you'll die trying."

Shadowheart gives you this slice of advice while putting her hair in a black claw clip.

The next thirty minutes pass by quickly as you decorate the walls of your room. Posters, little pieces of art, pictures of friends from home. When you leave the room to go to the floor meeting, you're met with the overlapping voices of everyone from floor seven, clearly annoyed that they have to be here. You and Shadowheart sit on a couch in the common area, and Lae'zel stands off to the side.

"Okay, I'm going to make this quick."

The room gets quiet quickly as Astarion speaks up, pushing his shades down his nose slightly so he can make intense eye contact with anyone who interrupts him.

"I'm your RA for the year. No, I will not answer your calls. If I'm sleeping, you better not wake me up. I do not care if you have an air fryer in your room, but if you burn down the university I will be pissed. To make it entirely clear, I'm only doing this to make a little extra cash, so do not expect me to be, how do you say... present."

The room is silent, both pleased that he doesn't seem to care and entirely annoyed by his attitude.

"Any questions?"

Once again, no one speaks.

"Great! If you truly need something, I would suggest you go to the RA on floor eight, my wonderful friend Gale, as he actually cares about the well-being of strangers. Good day!"

The large group mutters as they all make their way back to their rooms. Shadowheart turns to whisper to you.

"Oh Gale fucking hates him, and I guarantee you he didn't sign off on being the RA of two floors. Can't wait to see that catfight."

You laugh at her comment, not noticing the white-haired man approaching the two of you.

"Shadowheart."

"Astarion."

"Who's your new friend?"

She then realizes she never actually asked your name.

"Tav. It's Tav."

Astarion makes a noise that lies somewhere between a laugh and a scoff.

"Fascinating. Well Tav, how would you like to be my plus-one to a party tonight? I would ask our emo queen here, but I'm sure she has some sulking and studying to do already."

"And I thought you'd be selling out on another Instagram post, but I guess you just really love bothering people. Have fun though, if you even know how to do that."

And with that comment. Shadowheart is back off to her room, most likely to sulk and study like Astarion said.

"Ugh, don't mind her. She just doesn't understand the hustle. Anyways, Tav was it? You seem like just the kind of person I'd love to silently drink champagne with."

You're silent for a moment, unsure if he really is as bad as Shadowheart makes him out to be.

"The champagne is free by the way."

What better way to sell a broke college student on a night out?

"Alright, guess I'm in."

[confiscatedpeaches]

can i request william brat taming reader?? afab plss and i LOVE your writing!! tysm!!

ofc!! thank you so much for the complement! I love the thought of William brat taming, I bet he'd be really good at it. (Also this lowkey turned into a really long fic lmao so I AM going to write a part 2 tomorrow aaaah)

Minors DNI, TW: bdsm dom/sub bratty!reader, reader is wearing a collar, use of restraints

Afton comes home from work and it has NOT been a good day.

You knew the signs; the sound of his car door slamming, his shoes practically stomping onto the pavement below, and swearing as he fumbled for his keys. Today was not a good day at work for Mr. Afton. He was positively furious about something, and you knew he was going to take all of his frustration out on you. Of all the days you could have chosen to be a brat, this should not have been one of them.

You look into the living room and find him pacing furiously, muttering something to himself about "Henry" and "those god-damned parents". Noticing you out of the corner of his eye, he turns to look at you.

"You. Come over here right now."

You fold your arms. Why should you come over, when it's so adorable to watch him pace his way into a hole in the rug? Absolutely not. Part of you loved when he was like this, the angrier he got, the more fun he would have with you later.

"Awe my little whore thinks she's in charge. Get over here, now."

You should have listened. Really, you should have. But you just couldn't help your bratty ass now could you. Instead, you decide to commit the worst sin according to your Mr. Afton, you stick out your tongue.

He scoffed, his face getting redder. His head cocked to the side.

"You're feeling brave today aren't you love? Keep it up and see what happens."

God, you loved how his accent became thicker with rage. Sometimes you could barely understand the man. Watching him unravel into a mess of words and animalistic sounds drove you absolutely mad. Seeing him lose himself in you was such a thrill. You really, really should give in now, before this became much worse.

"Oh? What are you gonna do to me Mr. Afton? Are you gonna punish me?" You mocked.

He scowled and crossed his arms. You could practically see steam rising from out his ears.

"Yes, I am actually. Now get over here and let me spank you for being such a naughty little bunny."

Even after he raised his voice, you continue to refuse.

"Do I have to come and get you myself darling?"

A grin spread across your face. Was he challenging you? Oh yes, he was definitely challenging you. You were going to make him work for this. Excitement bubbles within you.

"I'd love to see you try, catch me if you can!"

You dash down the corridor and turn down one of the side halls. You hear a very loud British man begin raving and screaming behind you

"Oh you little---!

Laughter fills your ears. Your laughter, of course, but also Will's. He was laughing manically. It dawns on you that you have fucked up, big time. It was one thing for him to simply get mad and dominate you, but for him to start laughing? That's when you knew he had something truly terrible planned for you. You had to hide and wait for him to calm down, asap.

His footsteps were getting louder, closer. Turning down yet another corridor (his house is weirdly arranged, and you often find yourself lost in it), you flick on the lights and run into the basement. He has so much junk in there, there is no way he'd be able to find you if you tucked yourself away in there well enough.

Sitting in the back corner, you find the perfect place. You manage to hide yourself behind an animatronic you haven't seen him work on in ages. Holding your breath, you wait.

His footsteps stop at the top of the basement stairs. Shit, he must have seen you run into there. His ragged breath and laughter echo down the stairs, reverberating on the basement walls. He has really lost it this time.

Then, he does something unexpected. He takes a few steps down the stairs, before shutting the door behind him and flicking off the lights.

He has you trapped. You're so unfamiliar with the basement that there is no way you'd be able to navigate your way out of there without making a sound, or god forbid, bumping into him.

"Come out come out wherever you are." He sings.

Dear lord, he was feeling absolutely villainous. You knew he could be sadistic, but you've never seen him like this. You heard him shuffle, what could he be doing? Is he searching for you? Fear and arousal pool inside you.

"Aww come on little bunny, I thought you were being brave."

You could feel your heart beating in your ears. You didn't know how long you could hold or hide your breath, especially with how hot and bothered you were getting.

"Little bunny, where are you? I know you're in here. If you come out now I pinkie promise not to punish you.... too harshly."

That liar, you knew this was a fake-out. He isn't stupid enough to believe that would do the trick. You would wait him out, see who could last longer. A growing part of you wanted to submit, face the consequences, and end the torture early, but the rest of you was stubborn and wanted to see how far you could take this. You were already in deep shit, why not make it worse?

"Sweetheart... I can see you, you know."

What? There's no way, it's almost pitch black in here. Can this motherfucker see in the dark or something?!

"You're hiding behind that animatronic, I can see your feet. I can hear your breathing too love. Come out now, be a good girl."

Shit. He had you dead-to-rights. All of the stubbornness deflated out of you like a popped balloon. He won, you lost, and he knows it. You hate how wet this is making you. You wanted to win this time, but there's a reason he's the dom and you're the brat. He's just so much cleverer and smarter than you. You stood no real chance.

"Don't you want to be a good girl for Mr. Afton? Really now, I can see you curled up back there. Crawl out like the pathetic little loser you are. I'm not coming to get you this time."

The urge to submit builds within you. You know you shouldn't make this any worse for yourself. Reluctantly, you slide out from your secure hiding place. A light illuminates your figure. You see him sitting on the second to last step of the staircase, flashlight in hand.

"Ah, there you are. Come over here, now."

Before you can resist, you find yourself walking towards him. You were too tired to fight anymore.

"Good girl, now get on your knees."

You obey. His hand thrusts towards you and grabs you by your collar.

"Gotch'ya you little bitch! How dare you disrespect me?! You stupid little whore, there's at least a dozen animatronics down here, I just guessed you were hiding behind one! It's time to face the consequences doll."

(Part 2 coming tomorrow -- am too tired to write more tonight.)

[thewickerking]

hey. what?

well. For context everyone im assuming this ask is referring to this post and my tags below

im assuming because of the. The.

Many. Prev tags on it lmao but anyways here's more context. ill try to keep specific elements vague cause i don't want to doxx my grandma and by extension myself. But yeah let's go

my grandma (maternal) ran away from home in her teens (not sure the exact year/age but 70s ish) to join the circus and worked there for an amount of time doing ticket sales and miscellaneous jobs that aren't performance based

she met a guy also working there and they dated. this guy joined a satanic cult after joining the circus (? I think. Mightve been the other way around) and performed ritualistic sacrifice within the cult/with his murder victims. he was not in charge of the cult but was an active member and serial killer across around 4 states, maybe more (evidence was found for about 4 states iirc)

anyways he got caught for evidence of multiple murders but confessed to upwards of 20 (they couldn't find evidence of this so its unclear if he was exaggerating or if there simply wasn't enough irrefutable evidence) and went to prison while my grandma was pregnant and she was also arrested as an accomplice and had her kid in prison. She was 18 at the time. Idk how long she spent in prison but it was long enough to have her son taken away

her son (first of her four children, was my oldest uncle on my moms side) has adopted parents who changed his first and last name and didn't let him know about his biological parents (and were also extremely abusive) and so my mother and her siblings and her mom did unsuccessful research to find him over the years and he found our family a few years before he turned 30 (my moms ten years younger than him btw) and we've been in contact since and he was my personal favorite of my moms siblings

Oh also the serial killer got sentenced to life without parole and is currently on death row. My uncle died last year from unrelated circumstance (I posted about it some last year if anyone remembers) and my mom adopted 2 of 3 of his kids (3rd was a legal adult already) and then they got kidnapped and their kidnappers won the custody battle against my mom so. Yeah

Oh also worth noting my mom is the youngest of the four. my grandma had four kids with different men so im not related to the serial killer but he is in my family tree? Anyways yeah different fathers. My grandma remembers the serial killer and my moms father (my abuelito ♡ love him) but doesn't remember the fathers of the middle children (my aunt and uncle). So they're my moms half siblings technically and nobody knows if the middle children have other half siblings on their dads' sides 🤷‍♂️ but my mom has a half sister on her dad's side! She's 2 years younger than me bc my abuelito got married to his ex wife later in life but they're not together anymore (?) Not sure. They broke up idk if they legally divorced but they live in different countries and don't talk to each other. So.

Id love to meet her someday! But I don't know if thats feasible. She lives in Mexico and only speaks spanish so it would certainly be difficult. But I want to.... she almost immigrated to the United States like. 6 years ago?? My mom paid for documents to be legally translated and stuff but stuff happened and it didn't go through.she also tried to kill her mom once. But she's doing better. That's all a long story. We have a picture of her in our house from when she was little!

Ok thats very tangent-y. I have a lot of family stories. But also if anyone was curious this post below was also about my maternal grandmother

shes a white woman who likes to weaponise having "friends" in nepal when people are mean to her. She's a character. if ppl are curious abt any of this i will answer btw i love talking abt my family they're deranged

[emma-cantmakeuphermind]

Study Date Pt. 3

Sean Diaz x Reader

1 2 3

Warnings: none,, but kissing? so much fluff

Words: 985

*Y/N's POV*

It's 4:45 pm... Sean will be here in 15 minutes. All day time has gone by so slow, I've been waiting impatiently since we hung up. I already got my math stuff out on my desk, and took my time to make myself look presentable, but not too much to where it looks like I'm trying too hard.

I've liked Sean for so long, but I never really got the impression that he felt the same way. Until I gave him my number and he called our study session a date. I immediately ran to my room and jumped up and down when I got home that day. All my friends tell me that I have terrible taste in guys. I don't understand why though. I mean, yeah, I guess hes not everyone's go-to type. But hes so sweet, and hes a dork. My friends say hes too awkward, but aren't we all? We're 16 year-olds, it'd be odd if we weren't. Now, hes coming over. To my house. To do math work. While my parents are at work. What could go wrong?

It's 5:01, he'll be here any minute. Breath, calm down. Ugh I'm so fucking nervous. Y/N focus, he's coming over for you to help him with math, not for you to fuck things up by being all awkward. Besides, I don't even know if he likes me like that, plu-

*DING DONG*

Shit. He's here. Breath and open the damn door.

I walk out of my room and to the front door. I smooth down my hair quickly before I turn the door knob. As the door opens, we make eye contact. Even though it's simple, I can't help but feel my cheeks get warmer as I smile to greet him with his skateboard in his hands.

"Hi Sean! Come in." I say sweetly. "Hey Y/N, mind if I sit my board here?" he asks pointing next to the door. "Not at all. My parents aren't home so we don't have to worry about them. We'll be in my room anyway so." I trail off not wanting to make things awkward. "Okay, cool." he sounded, bored almost? Maybe I'm coming off too excited? I'll try to tone it down and just help him with his math work.

"So, what parts of the math work are you struggling on?" I asked hurriedly as my excitement has basically completely faded. "I don't understand any of this mean, median, mode bullshit. It doesn't make any sense." he says sounding irritated, but not at me, the math stuff. I grab my books, some paper and a pencil. We sit back on my bed and get comfortable enough so we can work properly.

"Okay so, basically when you're given a data set and you're asked to find the mean, median, and mode, you need to do 3 different things. One find the mean, which is another word for average. Lets use the data set 8,3,5,2,6,8,4,7 for example. To find the average by adding up all the numbers and then dividing by how many number you have in the data set. So for this set we'll get the sum of 43 and then we divide that by 8 and we'll get 5.3, that's our mean. Now we find the median, first we need to put them in order from least to greatest, so 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,8 and we find the number in the middle and in this case we have two numbers in the middle, so all we do is add them together and divide by 2. 11 divided by 2 is 5.5, and there's our median. Lastly we need our mode. This one is the easiest, we just need to see which number reoccurs the most. For this set its 8, because while all the other numbers appear once, 8 appears twice."

(sorry for the rambling lmao I didnt intend that to go on so long)

I pause to look up at Sean, only to be met by his gentle stare. I hesitate for a moment. "Does that make any sense?" It comes out like a whisper. "Yeah, I think I get it now." he doesn't take his eyes off me even for a moment. And it's just now that I realized how close our faces are, as I can lightly feel his breath on my face.

"Good, good. Um so" I fail to form a complete sentence as my heart rate continuously climbs. Sean's eyes flicker down to my lips for just a millisecond, I would've missed it if I had blinked in that moment. And in this moment I feel like we're finally telling each other everything we've needed to say, without a word actually being said.

Sean finally breaks eye contact, mumbling a "Fuck it" and takes the books, paper, and pencils and tosses them to the side. He takes my face in his hands and places his lips on mine. I sit frozen for a second before I start to kiss him back. I relax a bit with my hand placed on his chest as he grabs my waist for a moment to pull me onto his lap. My arms wrap around his neck to deepen the kiss, as his wrap around my waist.

The kiss only lasts a few moments but at the time it felt like a lifetime. For once I feel like were finally on the same page. I pull away from the kiss and we lock eyes. His stare is a bit hazy almost like hes in a state of complete serenity. I place my hands on his cheeks and pepper small kisses all around his face.

"You missed a spot." he says puckering his lips. I chuckle at this mumbling a quick "You're such a dork." before leaning in again to kiss him on his lips. He pulls away with a lopsided grin and he says "I may be a dork, but at least I'm your dork."

[22degreehalo]

So recently, I started watching Bluey!

In a way, that was inevitable: I was a brony back in the day (and yes that sure is a whole subject in its own right I'm not getting into right now lmao), I work in a setting where I frequently interact with children, and I'm Australian. It was just a matter of time, and when my aunt over the Christmas hollies demanded my parents and I watch 'the cricket episode', that was just the final permission I needed to do it.

So, those are three potential reasons to watch it: because kids' cartoons can be highly enjoyable and good viewing in their own right, because it'll help me better understand and relate to kids, and because it is The big cultural product coming out of my country for this entire decade probably and that's interesting.

And all of them turned out to be well-founded! It has helped me to visualise a lot better how kids work and learn and live, and it's good viewing: the animation is pretty, the music work is great (some very well-placed classical pieces alongside the Steven Universe-esque chiptunes), and it's equally capable of being sweet and funny and genuinely meaningful. There's a lot that can be said about that; the contrast with the mixed reaction to the 'darker' Avatar remake, or even just the way limitations (in this case, quick 7-minute runtimes) can breed creativity.

But it was that third reason which surprised me the most. I'd heard all the jokes about how American kids are picking up Australian slang and even accents and so forth, but I never properly prepared myself for how... it would feel, seeing my life depicted on TV like that.

It's not like Australians never get to see our country on TV. We have our own reality shows and soapies and all that, but I don't watch the latter and the former... aren't exactly depictions of ordinary everyday life. When Australia does show up in media, it's usually through satire: either Simpsons-style, or our own home-grown Kath and Kim or The Castle. And that's not a knock on either of those last two: they're pitch-perfect depictions of Australian culture and I'd highly recommend anyone who wants to understand Australian humour or social mores to watch both! It's just that they're very... self-deprecating. Which, again: Australian culture. We're like that.

But Bluey is so... beautiful.

I've always had a weird relationship to my country. I've never really fit in much with the culture; I'm too sensitive and sincere for it, and it's usually pretty obvious I think. And the environment? I just don't entirely know how to relate to it. All of our holidays are based on a calendar and geography an entire world away. Native plants and animals and the like always seemed like they Belong To the, well, native Australians. I'm not witchy, I'm not a health junkie, and I'm not super outdoorsy (though I do like a hike now and then!). My main way of interacting with my country is through just walking down the street, and marvelling at how pretty my city is, and how lovely (and/or annoying!) the birds are.

And I get that from Bluey. Something it's good at, even outside my personal connection to it I think, is depicting this certain sense of awe at the world that children can have, when everything is so new and strange and wonderful. The pilot episode features a long, zoomed-in moment of the youngest child encountering a walking leaf bug, and her whispered, thinking-out-loud amazement. 'Why would a leaf want to walk?' indeed!

And there's that: the rainbow lorikeets flocking in trees; the jacaranda flowers softly falling outside the parents' bedroom window. But also the man-made things. The green deck chairs out on the lawn, drinking white wine and cider while the dads barbeque. The sausage sizzle and pavlova. The opening presents Christmas morning and then going for a swim in the pool with your cousins.

It's romanticised up the wazoo; it boggles me a little when people complain about how big the titular character's house is, because... yeah! It's idealised! It's meant to be pretty and comfy and a little wish-fulfilmenty. That's not to say that everything is perfect, but it's larger than life; not to quote the old cliche, but it's a preschoolers' show, for gosh sake.

And for someone who has always loved the world too much and felt silly and cringy and embarrassed by it, there's something really, really lovely about finally getting to see artists direct that love at the actual world I see around me. Not exactly the same; where I live is much drier than Brisbane, for starters. But it's close enough.

This, I really feel like, is a new cultural image of Australia that will resonate in the public memory. Not Mad Max, not Steve Irwin, just a pretty, hilly city by the beach, with bright cockatoos and wandering bin chickens, shallow creeks and gumnut 'dollars', and families gathering for barbeques and friendly games of backyard cricket.

(The cricket episode really is a very good one!!)

[eldritchsurveys]

1199.

in what form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you're currently interested in? . if you were to leave the house right now, would you change your outfit all? >> I did leave the house for a brief store run a couple of hours ago and I changed from my house pjs into a pair of cutoffs and a Totoro tank top.

when was the last time something really cute happened to you? . why aren't you texting the last person you kissed? .

has anything happened to you within the past month that's made you really happy? >> That mindblowing reconnection with Bruni happened in the past month, so yeah, definitely.

do you want to see someone right now? >> I don't.

did a boy or girl text message you last? . when was the last time something bothered you? >> I haven't been bothered at all today, and I attribute that to not having been on any sort of socmed (aside from a cursory check of facebook, and my fb feed is 98% local businesses so that hardly counts) including Discord all day. I know people talk about the detrimental effects of being Quite So Online all the time but I hadn't realised it for myself until literally today. Most of my triggers are socialisation-based and spending so much time performing personhood for what amounts to strangers and casual acquaintances every single day is probably making me way more insane than I can handle being. This is truly the most relaxed day I've had in a while. Funny how my sense of isolation is actually intensified (maybe even created) by being around ("around") people so often -- the "alone in a crowd" effect but multiplied (there are so many people on the internet). Anyway, the last time something bothered me was... hmm. I don't remember if anything bothered me yesterday, yesterday was actually my first day out of the intense trauma fog I'd been in for the past week and a half. And honestly the limit of my short term memory is like 12 hours lmao, so.

what was the last thing you looked up on youtube? >> I don't remember the last thing I actively searched for. The last thing I watched was a 2 hour Diablo IV critique, lol. It definitely made me feel less crazy about how that game felt to play (bad. it feels bad).

have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? >> I have not. did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? .

what exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? >> I don't remember the last time I was intoxicated by way of alcohol.

do you actually love your parents? .

have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? >> Several times, yeah. Ninth grade was the worst. But I was also actively being abused in ninth grade, so I cut myself a lot of slack there.

are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? >> Wallflower -- sometimes in a sad way, but sometimes in a "I just like to chill out and watch people be people" way.

would you rather go to a katy perry or taylor swift concert? >> I would rather stay the fuck home, thanks. have you ever thrown up from working out? >> I have not and I can't imagine pushing myself that hard. Like, for what. I'm not interested in that level of exercise at all. what pattern do the sheets on your bed have? >> No pattern.

are your days full and fast-paced? >> Not at all.

what languages can you count to ten or higher in? >> Just English.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? >> Some big-box store. are you good with painting nails with your left hand? >> I'm competent at it.

do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? >> I share drinks with Sparrow all the time. We've been living in the same house for 8 years, we definitely have merged immune systems by now.

have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? >> all I can do is laugh at this question tbh

have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? .

do you spend more time outside or inside? >> Inside. would you rather give up the computer or the tv? >> I rarely use the TV in the first place and the only thing I use it for is, like, playing the PS4. sooo do you own any fake designer purses? >> I don't.

who was the last person you were with that smelled really good? . do you think braces are sexy? >> Not as a rule.

what were you for halloween in first grade? . last person to make you seriously mad? >> Sparrow.

don't you hate when people have cell phones but never answer them? >> This has zero effect on me because I don't call people... who have you recently made up with after fighting? .

what kind of toothpaste do you use? >> Whatever's reasonably priced. I think we're using Crest right now.

last thing you bought at the grocery store? >> We had to get pickles because Sparrow will not make fried chicken sandwiches without pickles, it's a RULE. And then we picked up a couple of tasty treats while we were there. what were you doing this morning at 1am? >> Sleeping. funniest name you have ever heard? .

what could someone do to irritate you? >> So much shit in this world irritates me. You genuinely do not even have to try to irritate me, it will happen whether you intend it to or not, lol. I try not to hold it against people because I know this about me.

have you used a tissue today? >> I have not.

the last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? . what color hair does your mom have? .

when people ask "how are you?" do you say "good" even if you aren't? >> I usually just rattle off a quick "fine"/"fine and you" and move on to what I'm actually there to say. I know the question isn't a literal one, it's just one of those social script things.

honestly, did you really love the last person you said i love you to? .

when was the last time you were told you were cute? . how was your friday? >> Friday... oh, hey, that's today (yeah I had to check--). It was great, actually. I've already talked about why in a previous question. But also I played some Grim Dawn which I love, and I finished that A Slow Death book (I'm obsessed with radiation so that counts as a good read to me), and it's nice and warm outside. And I had a fresh homemade fried chicken sammich. 10/10 day, no notes. when is the last time you were in a swimming pool? >> I think that was at Easton Mountain, a whole lifetime ago. did you speak to your father today? .

what was the last thing you drank? >> This probiotic soda that they were giving out for free(??) at Bridge Street Market.

is there anyone you want to come see you? .

how did you wake up this morning? >> I'm pretty sure my upstairs neighbour woke me up, as usual.

[sucktacular]

Vent

At my parents place and have no words

Well actually I have too many words

If I ever ever ever talk about coming back here in the future someone PLEASE kill me instead it'd be less cruel

The moment I got in my old room I started sobbing and bawling my eyes out because this place is just so fucking disgusting and it truly shows my parents do not give a fucking shit about me or anything frankly

Dad gave me such a nice lil "I prommy we aren't disappointed and thus not keeping in touch as much we are actually just proud of you and trust you to take care of yourself out there" speech in the car when like LMFAO you're so funny I've literally been avoiding yall

And then don't even have the fucking brains or care to give me any clean sheets for my bed

Just two+ year old dirty sheets covered in pet hair and ceiling debris

Like I asked in AUGUST to come here like what the literal fuck is wrong with y'all (derogatory)

So my room had "water damage on the ceiling but we prommy it didn't leak" it did leak and the ceiling is literally cracked and falling down but okay I'll ignore the clear signs of a leak left in drippy dust on MY furniture I left

This house would make y'all vomit

Floors covered in ancient pet mess and the bathrooms.... Your skin would crawl. I don't even want to look at it let alone use it. I cleaned it with whatever cleaners I could find in the house cuz they also don't clean anything or have fucking dish soap to begin with let alone hand soap so that's cool and neat

Anyway please please tell me I'm a fucking idiot stupid moron and kick my ass if I ever talk about coming back here that doesn't involve "stopping by to pick up the last of my things"

They keep saying "hey if you wanna start over you're always welcome to come home" as if I wouldn't literally rather fucking kill myself than come LIVE here, let alone subject my poor fucking cat to this god forsaken house.

As if they weren't charging me $600 a month to live in my own fucking parents house when I literally had no where else to go when I was in my early 20s

but okay yeah sure I'll definitely come back to this moldy, putrid, rancid, and STILL piss smelling house to "start over"

I'd literally rather just end it man there's no way I'm ever coming back here

Y'all are deeply deeply fucked in the head

Like I thought I WAS BAD??? nawwwwwwwwww

Anyway I brought my own bed sheets and pillow and blanket cuz I figured it'd be better to be safe than sorry and I'm glad I did cuz I was exactly right that they wouldn't fucking do the bare minimum for my visit 👍

Leaving off on the only fucking positive I can muster from this fucking hell hole is I found a lot of my old cassettes and death note stuff I made and Pokemon cards and things

My lil Pikachu backpack from kindergarten... 🥺

Old sketch books

So to make it so I don't lose my god damn mind before Tuesday, I'll maybe share some photos of all that shit

Thank God I brought a whole fucking lot of weed with me LMAO (deeply pained laughter)

Also my dad is the most pissed off aggressive driver ever and I feel in fucking danger every time im in the car with him

Let alone a 2 hour drive from my place to theirs

End.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw neglect, maybe ableism?

My parents didn't really keep much of an eye on my growing up unless there were other people involved. That's related to a whole other can of worms (to very briefly touch upon it: my mother believes the "more I spend time with other humans the more they'll corrupt my soul" so.. ?? Side effect of that is that my mother never really taught me how to behave besides listening to orders. She did eventually get me to stop biting people though so there is that lmao)

At our house we were really close to a forest and until we moved when I was around 14 I spent all the time I physically could in the forest. I was never allowed a phone but I did get a watch so I could get home in time, but past that my parents never checked up on me or anything.

Whenever we had pets (usually, there was a year or two when we didn't though) my parents always called the animals my siblings and other than school (I was bullied and left alone so much I often went days or even weeks without saying a single word) usually the only "people" I socialized with was animals. So most of my social skills I picked up from animals (my parents didn't believe in community or clubs or children's tv so other than watching murder mysteries the only TV I saw was documentaries and usually ones about animals).

My parents also never helped with homework or played with me (idk if that's a thing parents do though lol). I spent most of my time alone (never was good at making friends and we were weirdly never in neighbourhoods with other kids?). So like I was and still kinda am really used to only spending time with animals and not really humans.

Since I was 6 or 7 I made my own breakfast and lunch, packed my own food for school, did my own laundry, taught myself how to make toys via origami, learned how to (badly) mend clothes through stealing string and tying it through holes, entertained myself etc. I consider it pretty normal since I'm used to it, but it's made me a bit... odd.

And other people very much pick up on this and I've gotten comments a lot of my life about it. I might be autistic I'm not sure, but I really struggle with picking up social cues. This paired with pretty much being alone most of the time makes me act odd enough that it makes other people uncomfortable.

I've gotten yelled at, insulted, called names, etc because of this (my parents call me creature, different animals, horror monsters sometimes, and make jokes like that) and IDK what to do but mostly I wanted to ask about a certain thing? I have a single friend and she'll say things like "you always sound like you came from the forest" or "I forget you're not some sort of forest creature" but like, comparing me to fantasy creatures or animals.

Usually it's pretty joke-y, but sometimes it gets tiring too because like I get my life experiences aren't mainstream common but even when I'm trying my best to fit in I still get called non-human. I know my friend doesn't mean it as insults but sometimes I wonder if I'll be doomed to always give off the vibe of "not fully human". Usually I don't mind it (for a while as a kid I embraced it lol) but sometimes it kinda gets to me.

I guess it's because I feel like I've had to "tame" myself to fit into society better but I've never even managed to fit in/not be bullied no matter how hard I try and now I struggle to embrace the wilder freedom I used to have. Part of it is trust issues so I rarely feel safe enough to act more like myself, but also I'm aware that I act too animal-like if I'm comfortable around people and that makes them uncomfortable :(.

sorry idk where I'm going with this but sighhh. I wish there were people like me I could hang out it, it would make everything so much easier. IDK why I struggle so much with acting more like a regular human but it just doesn't come naturally to me -_-

Hi anon,

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through.

It's true that there are a lot of horrible humans out there and so perhaps your mom is coming at it from a traumatized angle, but we are naturally social creatures so being around other human beings is essential to our development, especially filling our lives with positive experiences with other humans.

It is normal for parents to play with their children and help them with their homework. My parents and my friends' parents did that as well. It's also essential for a child's development to be involved in their lives, engaging in play and helping them learn.

On one hand, it's good to have some independence and doing things yourself, but at the ages of 6 and 7, your parents should be packing your lunch, doing your laundry, and the other things you mentioned.

Being dehumanized or called non-human was also my experience as an autistic. I always described myself as an alien that was beamed down to this planet to absorb human traits from scratch (in reality, we all do this, just at different times). I think the way you were raised plays a major factor into your behavior and mannerisms, but there's nothing wrong with you. Even if it turns out that you are autistic or neurodivergent in some way, there's still nothing wrong with you. Society has their preconceived notions of how a human is supposed to behave or present, and obviously not everyone meets that standard. That's okay.

Unfortunately, bullies will bully you no matter what you try, because bullies have inherently taken a role in which they will never support you. But you don't need their support or validation. Their hatred is worthless because it's overabundant.

Society has a skewed idea of what makes a human a human. You are still a human being, even if some people have stricter definitions. You still deserve respect, and space, and a voice, and everything that is a human being's right.

You deserve to live authentically without having to conform to societal standards (unmasking). If someone is uncomfortable with how you are naturally, that's their funeral. If they can't get past that, then they don't deserve you. There are plenty of understanding people out there waiting to be your friend.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[unproduciblesmackdown]

oh yeah addendum in also the other day seeing someone autistic talking in that context abt what they want from genuine relationships in that they said they don't want to be Admired Or Desired. that one time someone was like, you're one of the best people i know, like well neat compliment sure i'll take it lmao, but also, that's somewhat confusing and even disheartening when it's like, i have no way of knowing this; we don't really interact? or times i have to ""unilaterally"" assess that i don't feel Friends with someone b/c i don't feel like, for one thing, i can just up & message them even lol; the feeling that to whatever capacity there's a relationship, it's been continual "don't mess this up" masking / efforts to "do things Right" from me....whilest also times it's been like, oh someone's apparently choosing to be around me? enjoying interactions? while still kind of confused about it. and then it's like oh it was Romantic Interest apparently lol :( like even if i wasn't aromantic which i so am....where was the [there is anything to feel is genuine] like again we never even got to any part where i wasn't masking and [do things Right] and on edge and certainly not at whatever point i apparently had whatever appeal. much less "when cishet men are just sprinting straight at you" but that's all the more, like, [you as a Person are certainly irrelevant] but not like it doesn't still feel ultimately mostly irrelevant even if people have more discretion / a more considerate approach in general. also that again there would not be a Right way lmfao. it just sure could be a totally neutral expereince rather, please. how i've had too many situations having to try to fling myself out a window figuratively, even w/those theoretically more considerate approaches

or even when people will be talking about what makes someone Deserving outside of the most conservative(tm) approaches like. this person isn't someone who just waits for things to happen :) like well hell yeah for them lol, meanwhile, i sure kinda am. being aware that in any given way i may not impress anyone / may be negatively assessed; only turns into "there go my power levels increasing again. shrugmoji" when correspondingly it's like, and i don't have to care, or certainly then blame myself about it if like oh boy, society when you have to be "objectively" judged as Worthy by randos, whatever their perspectives lol....or when like, the concept of social support is like, get a romantic partner, primarily, an ounce of backup from friends, the Real backup being family, or friends "as good as" family....or the ongoing journey of realizing like; it was never Just gonna be managing to leave [abusive childhood/family house]. the ways that other experiences outside that were Consistent, really, when being around peers means an immediate sense of doing something wrong / not being as good as them; authority figure adults sometimes acting just like an abusive parent does; no ways to regularly exist flexibly and/or less supervised/monitored, e.g. couldn't walk from [home] to [anywhere]....catching on like, ah, outside of That Situation? i'm still not inherently more valued by randos, still not Not liable to be regarded/treated with disdain / expressions of authoritarianism....Aren't We All; for real. but truly like oh hey, i didn't even realize i was getting all this Political experience in that [when you have a one on one personal abuser and You're Responsible For How They Treat You and Their Own Power Is The Whole Thing and You'll Never "Earn" Better But It'll Always Be Your Fault You Haven't] and all those kinds of logics and realities it's like of course this resonates crystal clear with logics and realities re: [political enemies] lmao. ofc they can be as "hypocritical" as they want b/c [you can just say whatever while you do w/e you want and other people have to deal] is an expression of power. of course "for [xyz]'s own good; individually or as a group" is really about ensuring the power to control their existences as property by shrinking the space in which someone can enact autonomous choices: anything For Children is about (conservative) parents controlling children as things they own and can do whatever they want with; like making sure kids Can't be gay or sm shit, it Is about children, just keeping them from being able to exist outside the sphere of control of an isolated Family life. hell yeah when they do anyways / tragically it always turns out people are actually people despite your wanting to disbelieve this / always have the power to ignore it..........but then yknow, the truth is we out here, and ofc it's like [police protect Property; enforce these property/owner relations] but what's Normal yet obviously harmful is also so borne by regular ordinary """harmless""" interpersonal interactions / people who feel supposedly well-intended but that's more superficial than in essence....even merely the Exhaustion in knowing interactions as Just chitchat w/supposedly amicable parties is like, a scrutinizing test that can only go wrong and lead to antagonism / animosity that can easily accumulate &/or compound. much less existence In Public and shit going wrong out of nowhere, and potential stakes....being like Lol at, again, years back thinking like "a horror short should be like, the premise that you might just be at a grocery or some ordinary asf situation but at any given moment, doing Nothing extraordinary, some rando suddenly goes Deeply Hostile Mode for a second. where even then suddenly disengaging from that mode is not a relief in that the [this could happen at any time] is emphasized" like lmfao that's [being in an abusive situation], that's [being autistic], isn't it so Zany that there's so much overlap / resonance.

Not At All being Lol abt how much actual discrete examples of produced horror is just like "what if there was disabled people." this is its own line b/c of the characters per block limit. but also disdainful emphasis

anyways lol wuh oh in conclusion, antifascism....isn't it always

[bandofchimeras]

religious trauma diaryposting

nah you don't get it. in my house growing up the kids would actually CRY if we heard someone say "oh my god" or cuss. even trying to briefly touch on White Jesus and Jesus actually being a Middle Eastern man got my fam so freaked out about potential blasphemy (????? idk, guess you can't criticize any portrayal of Christ) they shut down this whole conversation we were having about Palestine that was actually constructive.

when I say I grew up Catholic I mean, devout, convicted, delusionally Catholic to the point we engaged in cult behavior. and I want to, and try to respect other people's cultural Catholicism and understand my own family's cultural ties to it but bro....it's ridiculous.

I can't even imagine saying "What if Jesus kinda sucked?" to my dad. Like I do not have a mental picture of what would happen. With my parents you can criticize them, but you cannot criticize the Church. You cannot cross the line of blasphemy. It's draining to try and have a normal conversation bc in order to do so I have to pretend that sex doesn't exist, everything the Catholic Church has ever decreed is 100% absolute truth, and bodily functions are deeply shameful.

I am 28 years old. I cannot waste anymore of my life navigating this insane bullshit.

Cult recovery is so weird when the rest of your family is still in it, I'm just figuring out you can be a person without following some complex set of arbitrary rules. Like you can just exist. I constantly feel like I'm about to be struck with lightning. When I'm around my family they can be so sweet and we can have some fun but there's always a trigger line I have to mind so they don't self destruct and shut down or lash out at me. Neurodivergent religious people are incredibly fragile. And being homeschooled, that orientation was normalized to the point, along with having OCD, I have had to teach myself how to interact with the public without praying in my head for their souls or to God to protect me. It's terrifying, at first, and I still don't really understand people who just exist and don't feel a wracking pain in their core all the time from losing that delusion of absolute certainty in a belief. It's comparative to being told the Sun isn't actually real, it's a big prop in the sky created to manipulate you.

Anyways forgive the drama on main. I feel like a constant outsider and a dogged sense of aloneness, and worry that no one whose out here engaging in pop culture and living their lives actually understands the extent of the psychological damage that comes from being 100% immersed in a harmful cult for all of your formative years and leaving it to become the thing they taught you to hate and fear, and realizing you are hated and feared for having been part of the harmful cult as well.

The only time I've felt close to being seen is reading Hell Followed With Us. I related a lot to Benji's soldier like mentality of adopting new language and concepts immediately, and his hard-line dedication to destroying where he came from to prove he is not on their side, not dangerous, etc. it's fucking torturous. So that book was not fun to read at all. I barely can recommend it and will never reread it even though I am very glad to have read it. Felt a lot like watching the Passion of the Christ.

So yeah fuck off with "why aren't you over that by now?" I don't think I will be over it until I'm brave enough to publicly blaspheme and bathe myself in pigs blood or do a burlesque number on the altar of my home parish lmao.

[mirei-nari]

Oh here's another one. My 6th grade graduation. I had a dress for this one though. Except no one showed up for this either. I had maybe a max of 5 leis because I had 3 teachers in my class thay year because it was the biggest class. And like 2 from my friends' parents. Everyone else had leis up to their eyes. This day I vividly remember walking home in that dress with 5 leis that I put in my bag. I don't remember if I cried or anything. I know I'm crying now just thinking about it. I've been to every single one of my cousin's graduations but no one came to the first and last one I ever had.

That's probably why I didn't finish high school. Because I knew my graduation wouldn't matter. Plus my parents didnt care enough. Thought I was independent and disciplined enough to do online schooling instead. Look where that put me.

Another one is probably the camping trip from 5th grade as well. My dad dropped me off that morning. I remember him being annoyed because I had to be there early for the bus. That field trip was so fun even though I did get hurt. My dad's friend that was living with us at the time picked me up. I don't remember much after getting into his car and getting home. I wasn't close with this friend at all so it was a silent ride home even though I really wanted to talk about the field trip. I don't think I talked to any adults about that field trip. Only people I talking about it with was my friends at the time. I wasn't asked why I had a huge bandage on my leg either. I know I cleaned it and redressed it by myself when I got home too.

Another one was in the 8th grade. I think this is when the depression started to kick in and I didn't even know at the time. One of my very best friends moved away and for a week straight I just locked myself up in my room and cried even though I didn't know why I was just so sad. As I got older I realized I was upset because my one of my best friends moved away i was never going to see her again. And I didn't know how to say I was sad about that. Because I remember thinking to myself "it's just someone moving away. Why are you so sad about it. You have other friends." And these were full on sobbing crying sessions. For a week straight. No one asked me why I was crying.

9th grade. My last year at the high-school. My best male friend since 4th grade got a girlfriend and she didn't like me at all and so that friendship ended. My other girl best friend and I got into a dramatic fight about God knows what in the rain. I walked home that day fucking crying. I remember walking into the house soaking wet and the first thing I heard someone say was "don't bring the rain in" like I had a fucking choice.

I got asked out as a fucking joke because, and these were the exact words, "someone had to take one for the team". That lasted a week because teenagers are stupid and can't keep their mouth shut. So when I found out I ended it and came home crying that day too. But hey. No one cared because my mom tried to kill herself after finding out my dad was cheating on her. Which they tried to hide but i wasnt stupid then. I just pretended to not notice because i knew they were hiding it from me. This is probably why I'm deathly afraid of any type of relationship other than friendship. This is probably why I hyper fixate on fictional characters so much. Not to mention when I turned 18 and my dad started the divorce process straight up told me he ONLY stayed with my mother because he did not want to pay child support. Lmao like how the hell do you tell that to your child and not expect it to fuck up their entire view of the world.

I think my family just didn't say anything because 1: they were too busy with their own lives and 2: just thought I was being a teenager.

Jfc. These aren't even everything. These are just the ones that stand out to me when I think about my childhood.

I really thought I just had a normal childhood. But reading what I've been writing made me fully realize that I did not in fact have a normal childhood. I had a very fucked up childhood and turned me into whatever the hell sad human being I am today. Lovely.

[cynicalrecoverysociety]

Today was a day with many highs and lows. Bad things happened, but probably in the best way they could.

I painted my parents outbuildings today. It was pretty difficult, a lot of ladder work. So I'm tired and sore but I'm glad they have their home ready for winter. They are getting older and we would all prefer they don't climb ladders and such.

While I was painting I ended up stepping in dog poop and spread it everywhere. I also dropped a cup of paint from 12 feet in the air, it splattered everywhere and we had to repaint some spots. And we didn't realize the two containers of paint were different colors, so when we started on the second shed we painted a bunch with the first color and had to redo it with the second when we ran out of paint. Very annoying, but at least it was mostly roller work and the important thing is they are painted and won't degrade during the winter.

My car broke down today in a major way. I was planning on getting a new one soon but it sucks. While I was pulling up to my parents house something happened and the front wheel well sunk. Probably something with the axel. I'm so grateful that it happened right at their driveway and not going on the highway or behind a car that would have made it a lot worse. I have to buy a new car, something I've been putting off, but at least when this one totally shit the bed we are safe and don't even have to get a tow.

My partner got some serious sunburn and I had to go across town to get aloe, covered in paint and tried. While I was out he accidentally burnt our pizza a bit and it was cold by the time I got back. But it was important and he is already feeling better and starting to heal.

I got myself a cheesecake while I was there. I was feeling very sorry for myself. On the way home I was like I don't need this. At all. This was a mistake. But it's in my car it's mine now. When I tried to open it I dropped the entire fucking thing on the floor face down. Not even a bite lmao. But at least I had already decided i didn't need the cheesecake, and I kinda saved myself from myself even if I wasted $13.

I went to the dispensary planning on getting a specific strain that was on sale. By the time I got there, again covered in paint and everything, they were out. But the person there was someone I was friends with and they were super helpful and helped me find some other great deals. And my local hookah supplies store had all my favorite products in stock, a rarity since the pandemic.

My partner and I got in a huge fight while painting and it was pretty brutal, but we were eventually able to talk enough to realize the real problems and both apologize.

Just so much went wrong today. But there was always an upside and always a resolution. Ngl I almost cried when I dropped that cheesecake but even then I rallied and now I'm just chillin. Today I feel like proved that recovery is possible. I handled today so much better than I could have. Literally any of these incidents could have been enough to put me in bed the rest of the day. Today my partner and I faced every challenge head on like a team and stayed positive and we made it through. We both feel tired and sore but still in fairly high spirits. Tonight is game night and we aren't even thinking of cancelling, something that would have been impossible not long ago. I'm telling myself it's okay to be somewhat upset about real life things, like the stress of car trouble and important purchases, but that my ability to focus on what's important and stay positive saved me today. I feel odd, but that's okay too. Today I know without a doubt I did my best and I'm proud.

[writingandmore]

Hi may I have a harry potter match-up and Arcana match-up please? Tysm in advance!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

House: Gryffindor

Sexuality: Straight

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. Honesty at this point in my life I don't really have a style....i've kinda given up on how I look lmao. I just kinda pick out some random clothes like a band t-shirt and some tight jeans. Although I do wear this one Adidas jacket a lot and a nice pair of combat boots.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it. Some people have also told me that I lack empathy....which I guess they aren't wrong....

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. I also have lots of intrusive thoughts lol so sometimes i'll just be sitting there quietly and I'll just start laughing like a weirdo......i'm a big dork honestly. I also do that weird thing where i'm sitting down and I'll just be bouncing my leg....idk why I do it....I just do....and I also run my fingers through my hair a lot, thats why its always messy. Sometimes when i'm bored I space out and i'll chew on my lip or the side of gum...I need to stop I know but its hard to....I am also an angry crier like its rare that i'll cry because i'm sad but I cry more often out of frustration of anger lmao

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything. I also love trying new things like skate boarding, playing guitar, learning how to cook things and bake.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider....like seriously I will move to the moon if one touches me. I also hate passive aggressive people, like seriously don't talk about me behind my back, if you have something to say then say it to my face or you better be ready to catch these hands, I also despise bossy people. Sometimes people in general tbh

HP: George Weasley!

- George isn't easily intimidated, and chances are, when he first meets you and your cold exterior is still around, he'd probably crack a joke. Hopefully, your more casual and goofy personality would come out then, and he'd realize how you appear isn't necessarily how you are on the inside. You would both have to walk a fine line between encouraging each other to do chaotic things and being the other's impulse control, but overall it'd be a very sweet and playful relationship.

Arcana: Julian!

- Julian can get pretty worried about his partner, and he wouldn't hesitate to step in to save you from a dangerous situation. Try not to do that too often though-he gets so stressed about it and it's not good for him if it's common. If it's every so often though, once he calms down he'll get quite a laugh out of it as long as you aren't hurt. He'd admire your drive to stick up for yourself and your love ones-he tries his best to do so too, but sometimes he gets scared or tongue-tied so having you by his side in those situations is invaluable. He'd do his best to help you not be self-destructive; it's something he struggles with too, so working on it together would hopefully help the both of you.

[albedos-experiment-gone-wrong]

BESTIE U BETTER MAKE A POST TALKING ABT ALL UR AUS PLSPLS I NEED IT

Omg ive never had anyone actually want me to talk so like

this makes me so happy?

Okay so Royal AU!: Lumine and Aether are the twins of the Kingdom of Abyss, they originally were to rule together but when Aether got the chance to explore the outside world and found that the war they've been raging on the rest of Tevyat is wrong so he leaves and he travels across the rest of the world and learns alot about the world they live in. Kingdoms: Dragonspine- Under the rule of Albedo (had to stop myself from writing Albehdo), Not many people live here, The second most distrusted/liked kingdom (first is Abyss ofc), the people that are just outside of Dragonspine in game are the main citizens because I'm very creative Sucrose is from Mondstadt and lives there but is found in Dragonspine more often, along with Klee Mondstadt- Not quite sure who's the ruler but I'm leaning towards Jean as the representing Princess/Duchess whichever has the better status ( i think Princess) She's constantly found with the trusted knights Amber and Kaeya to insure nothing bad happens to her. Also the common citizens are : Venti- the most popular bard Diluc- Owner of the best Winery in all of Teyvat Lisa- The School Teacher and Librarian of Mondstadt Noelle and Bennett- The young couple that works for the Knights....but aren't knights. Fischl- She's some random girl that nobody knows anything about, she's certainly not from Mondstadt but she's accepted anyways, she'll often come with new intel one the other kingdoms Liyue- Hehe...okay so this one.....isn't developed at all. The only reason I've yet to write it. Thought about maybe it's run by a series of clans all ruling over different areas but....idk Inazuma- Actaully, a dictatorship type thing Baal/ Raiden Shogun is the "Queen"

Yae Miko is the advisor Ayaka is a princess of a noble family thinking of revolution (im so creative :D) Yoimiya is just some girl that popped out of nowhere and quickly gripped the handles of Inazuma and started to turn things upside down along side Ayaka And that's all I've got for this one so far, I know Im missing like half the games characters but this is something I've thought of recently, like...today High School AU 1: Aether is the new kid, and Albedo was assigned as his welcomer person. Aether ends up picking a dorm with Albedo, Xingqiu, and Chongyun and they do dumb shit together :D 

this is probably my simpliest au of them all lol High School AU 2:  (no offense to Kaebedo shippers but I don’t see it working but if thats your otp or you cant handle people not shipping them...dont read. or do i like getting hate, makes me famous for my takes :D)

Kaeya’s been crushing no Albedo. Hard. But Albedo is totally not into it, but Kaeya finally makes some progress when he gets him to finally agree to go to the dance, even if it’s just as friends. But then Aether comes and unknowingly ruins everything. 

However, I don’t like writting Kaeya as the jealous type, so he lets go quite easily as he sees that Albedo’s really happy and all he wants is for him to be happy :) (aofbeog this could be me just really not wanting to write Kaeya anymore angst because Kaeya angst is so....angsty and sad (i have such a big vocabulary) and hes already super dark in lore so yea)

Siblings AU (Hu Tao and Xiao): Okay so I mostly explained this one in my dump in your post but Ill explain again <3

Zhong Li got bored or lonely or smth and adopts children (Xiao, Hu Tao, Qiqi kinda is his kid at this point because shes almost always at their house but Baizhu is legally her parent)  So one day Xiao’s babysitting (i actually hc him as kinda irresponible with children like hell walk out of a store without them and be gone for a while before realizing hes missing a whole human, or hell be all “ill duct tape you to the wall” and actually do it until Zhong Li comes home LMAO) and Hu Tao just so happens to be a home instead of work or smth 

And Xiao’s kinda like “alright so you live here, and Zhong Li’s your dad, but like....we arent required to be siblings, right?” 

So Qiqi runs off and Xiaos freaking out because this is the 4th time this week and its only wednesday so hes looking and Hu Taos looking and they just so happen to come across this alleyway Hu Tao would sit in and cry as a child because the others were mean and their parents wouldnt let her play with their kids and she was really lonely and so they go down into it and sure enough Qiqi’s there 

And Qiqi’s all “Qiqi’s sad because all of Qiqi’s friends have mommies and daddies but Qiqi doesn’t and so Qiqi came here to cry alone because it’s dark and cold and nobody’s here to see Qiqi....” and Hu Tao’s all “Yeah, actually. This alley’s never done me wrong when I needed somewhere to sit and...just...ah, think about things alone. But y’know Qiqi, you could talk to Xiao or I. And you do too (i think thats the right too im not too sure) have a family! Zhong Li is your dad, we’re your siblings, and Ganyu could be like the cool Auntie! So don’t cry alright? Could you do that for me please?”

And so Xiao catches onto what Hu Tao implied and so he’s like “well shit. nobody should be alone and sad, much less when theyre just a baby” so Xiao tries kinda hard to be a better big brother (but Hu Tao always thought he was a wesome)

And finally my last high school AU:  (really, really underevloped but this is just kinda a chill crackshit 

Childe and Lumine are dating, Aether highly disapproves. Albedo and Aether are dating, and Lumine’s like “albedo? the weird kid? that never talks? and when he does its always in smart people words? that albedo? wow aether im suprised you understand his smart people talking.”  Xingqiu and Chongyun are dating, Xingqiu was really sheltered as a kid so hes always doing something stupid and dangerous and Chongyun goes along with him to make sure hes not killed

yep yep!! most of these are just headcanons lol sorry it took a while :<

[365daysofus]

Feb 1-3

Dropped off Shan Monday morning! Bittersweet of course. So glad she has time to care for herself and family... She is always so selfless! Went home and made coffee to prepare myself for class. Been really distracted recently for school. Maybe it's emotionality kicking in again. Or fatigue. Who knows. Also been having sleeping issues but what's new? Always catching up with Shannelle in evenings despite our distance 😍

Tuesday was another weird day for me when I woke up relatively late and had sleeping problems. This time it was itchy scalp keeping me awake. Sucks. Just dwindled until class time and tried to sleep early. But before that, I dropped off my dad to VGH while my mom and I got some gyukaku 😍. Mom really likes it! Of course her favourite is toro beef lol. Dad finally has a surgery date! God bless. Continue praying for all of our parents and grandparents who aren't getting any younger.

Birthday! Lots of messages and rekindled friendships made me feel so loved and appreciated. Feels nice to be a words of affirmation guy once in a while lmao. Special shout out to everyone who called me as well! Had lesson 0 with my discovery group. Can't wait to see how the Holy Spirit works in here. My word of the day was "SPARK". Eryka and Richard brought green leaf, Lola made lasagna and mom made caldereta. My parents bought me new shoes again and some more socks and underwear.... I'm so predictable. Thank you thank you! Also, it was surprisingly sunny! Prayers work and prayers are answered. God is so good. 27.... Let's do this.

Feb 4-5

Thursday I felt like a CCO missionary/leader with all these meetings and such. Pretty productive! Chatted with Shan of course and raided a bit. Discord hopped for a bit after chatting with Sawwwah. Must protect her at all costs!!! Oh ya I played a game of Valorant today... Still don't like it but it's nice to be personally invited to play a video game. Friends!!!!

Was productive all day on Friday... Did do many errands and house chores I got physically drained by the evening! Chatted with Shan of course, got my popcorn, played some TFT with Anne and Jaden. Another personal invite thanks Anne 😊😭🙏. I missed playing TFT haha it's been a month! Getting excited too now that Shannelle is coming back soon!! 🙏😍 PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.