#when my friend got so high she started to feel Real Bad I got legit so scared I was so glad our other friend was there omg T_T
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Beating a dead horse RN but saying that going to clubs or doing drugs or whatever mean that you "actually go outside" or are somehow directly related to your ability to socialize is just plain stupid </3 you can do drugs alone AKA not a social activity and you can go to a knitting class without doing drugs AKA a social activity . The assumptions people make based on your drug usage history are straight up crazy because the only things it says about a person are whether they had access to drugs, and whether they wanted to do drugs.
(also knitting class example is just cause it came to mind first + I can't think of many social activities outside of going 2 the park w/ my friends. I Love the park 🐶)
#the drugs thing is like the most eye-catching (?) for me#cause clubs: availability + accessibility#sex: some people don't wanna get laid either now or forever. even if they do it means nothing <3#but with drugs it's like. people assume SO MUCH#personally as a person I dislike the idea of going to parties that are composed of more than 3 people outside my friend group#one of the main reasons is that I'm anxious about being called a ''killjoy'' (?) if I refuse alcohol or whatever#like I don't wanna ruin the mood yk. which doesn't happen w/ my friends ever so with more people it's a lot less certain#ALSO I have no clue how to care for someone who's like super drunk or high to the point of danger#when my friend got so high she started to feel Real Bad I got legit so scared I was so glad our other friend was there omg T_T#off topic etc#diary
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Things I’ve learned about Danny Phantom after finally watching it as a person who avoided watching it for months and read fanfiction instead. 👍🏻✨
Spoiler warning, just in case!
They call themselves the Phandom. (Super cute, I love it, 10/10)
Everything, and I mean Absolutely Everything I’ve learned, is a fucking Lie. (Not fun. I have to rewrite my entire understanding. I feel betrayed. Offended. Gobsmacked. My flabbers are mf gasted. -5/10)
The show is actually really funny. (I enjoyed my experience. 9/10)
Fuck Phantom Planet. (What the fuck was that shit? Um, rewind, redo, no thx, give me back the ghostie boy please. I genuinely didn’t even finish the episode, I got to where he un-died and had to turn it off. I refuse to watch it now. 0/10)
The Phandom was right to steal canon and make it our bitch. (Trans Danny? More Dani/Ellie screen time? Actual plot and lore for the show? Actual in-depth thought to ghosts and their culture? Um, yes please. 1000/10)
Frostbite actually is a doctor. (I don’t know why, but I thought it was another thing the Phandom made up. Love to see it, 10/10)
Wes Weston deserves his own episode. (What do you mean he doesn’t actually exist. What do you mean I don’t get my LGBTQ+ undertones. This is homophobic /j. -10/10)
How do you tell when a ghost is intangible, invisible, or both?? (The show doesn’t have a differentiator between the two, so I’m always confused if people can just see him floating through walls. 3/10)
Guys in White literally do nothing but be annoying. (Another case of the Phandom Lying to us. I love it though, they make really good antagonists. 7/10)
The Fentons are stupid and mildly aggressive, but they do love their kids. (I read a lot of vivisection, child neglect, and general Bad Parents fics so excuse me on that front. 8/10)
Danny didn’t actually beat Pariah Dark? (I love the Ghost King Danny fics, so to find out all he did was shove him into a sarcophagus was a bit of a bummer. He struggles more with Undergrowth than the actual king, like?? 6/10)
He can reach inside himself to take things out. (He ate a spoon in one ep and just reached inside himself to take it out. Pretty cool. 9/10)
Is he actually dead? (Phantom Planet makes it seem as if he just got a bit too high a dose of ectoplasm in his system and it fucked him up, how else could he have just undone the damage? But, most of the Phandom says he legit died in the portal, in which case he could not have gone in and just un-killed himself like he did in Phantom Planet. I think he died, personally. More trauma and angst for my writing. ??/10)
Clockwork appears a lot less than I thought he would. So does Frostbite. (I thought with how much they appear in the Phandom, they must have really important and constant roles, but no. They appear very rarely. Sad face. 5/10)
Vlad sucks. (Vlad fucking sucks. 0/10)
Dani/Ellie is much younger in appearance than I thought. (I looked her up for reference when I first started reading the fics, but she looked 14-15. She actually looks 6-7 years old in show. They literally call her a kid. 8/10)
Dani is what she chose to be called, not a funny joke the Phandom played on itself. (I though it was a silly little haha moment. Nope. The show just… named her that. I think Ellie is the Phandoms choice in calling her?? 8/10)
Why is Danny obsessed with Paulina even while crushing on Sam? (He is actively blushing and flirting with Sam and then they’ll turn around and he’s jumping at the chance to talk to Paulina?? Hate it. 0/10)
Danny and Dash don’t actually date. (I saw this circle around the Phandom a bit, thought it was cute if a bit weird, and then it didn’t happen? 6/10)
No obsessions, no cores, no real reason for the ghosts to be terrorizing Amity Park. (I legit thought it was real in-verse stuff, I’m so disappointed in the lack of it in the show. It could have been so good. 3/10)
Danny doesn’t actually become friends with his ghosts. (They don’t really get along, ever. They don’t talk outside of fighting, except for those who actually like him. Missed opportunity. 4/10)
His Space obsession is actually just a few mentions of him wanting to be an astronaut? (I thought he genuinely had an obsession with the stars and we’d see a lot of him stargazing or word-vomiting about his hyper fixation, but no. Sad. 4/10)
He does go stargazing (maybe?) and flies around when he’s not fighting. (We see him going off as Phantom in the episode where Jazz finds out about him. There are no battles and he looks like he’s having fun flying around. 10/10)
He was called Inviso-Bill?? (Hilarious, I love it, why did no one ever tell me this. 7/10)
He says “Going Ghost!” every time he transforms. Every fucking time. (It’s annoying, it’s ugly, I hate it. I am so glad no fics mentioned this or used it, I think I’d go insane. -1000/10)
That’s all I got for today, and probably for a while. I just wanted to write it down for fun, but I might post more like this eventually.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#phandom#dani phantom#ellie phantom#vlad plasmius#clockwork#frostbite#wes weston#just for fun#I don’t know what’s real anymore#this fandom scares me#how did y’all fabricate an entire understanding of a story#from practically nothing#and make everyone believe it was real#it’s not even AU#it’s just canon at this point#the power you possess#it scares me#dp
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Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it :) We’ve reached S5. Which is unreal. It shouldn’t be since I’ve been writing these for 7 plus months now and yet ha. I remember BUZZING for this ep. Then being in shock It actually happened. This entire season felt like a gift from the writers.
The long awaited reward for the slow burn. Although I enjoyed every moment of that slow burn. Was very happy to get to this place I will say. You thought Tim’s brain was broken last ep? It’s about to be obliterated haha Once again some long gifs I’ll make to get it all in. Might be the theme for this season LOL I fit everything in that I could this ep was wall to wall moments. Let’s get going.
5x01 Double Down
We start out on a glorious high. Lucy is dreaming about kissing Tim. Making out really. Not only that but she is grinning like crazy as she does. Sure she’s had dreams like this before about him. No doubt in my mind she’s had naughty dreams about this man. (and vice versa let’s be honest) But now she had something real to dream about. A tangible moment. Didn't take long for that to take root in her subconscious ha.
Also in this dream we get another lovely angle to that kiss. It's like we got two first kisses everyone. It's glorious. They sure started this season off with spoiling us right away. He looks like he’s about to eat her face in this dream version. This is why she’s smiling so much heh I love having both angles. Real and dream version.
I like how the dream version is little spicier. Like this is her dream version of that kiss. How he’s cupping her face in this one. She wanted him to devour her like that. She would’ve been happy to be his meal for the night. Also showing Lucy has it SOO bad for him. Forgetting she has a blah BF at the moment. Chris who? Unfortunately as it gets good a knock startles her awake.
It’s Tamara waking her up. Lucy is legit jarred from her dream. We watch her struggle to come back down to earth. Her messy hair and reaction are too funny. This one of my all time fav Tamara/Lucy moments. She has to give Lucy a hard time about the kiss. Wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. It’s too cute. Lucy goes into mom mode about school. Telling her about Rosalind’s trial shutting the city down. Her normal route will be closed.
Tamara mirroring her going into protective daughter mode. Asking her if she wants her to skip class? I love her always wanting to put Lucy first. She tells her no. She will be ok and no where near Rosalind anyways. She is bound to the station with Tim anyways. Waiting for their OP to jump off. Tamara asking if it’s for the UC thing from the other night? Lucy confirms this.
Tamara’s giving her crap about the kiss. Lucy being defensive saying didn’t mean anything. Oh yes nothing. You weren’t just dreaming about it or anything…Mmhm…Then she says her legendary line. ‘Make out. Stop crime. That totally tracks.' LOL I love her so much. Lucy tells her to go to school. Tamara replies in kind telling her to have fun at work. With her boss. Who she kissed…
We then switch to Tim talking to Angela about said kiss. Now let me say how giddy it makes me he came to Angela about it. Yes she’s his best friend but he didn’t used to be this open with her. She had to pull teeth in 2x11 even when he asked for her help. This is a far more open Tim Bradford than we’ve seen before. He starts this convo then goes into full denial. Babe, you started this and she has great Chenford radar. You weren’t going to fool her. Not in the slightest. I love how she doesn’t let up the entire convo. Smirking this entire time through out it as well.
Asking how much did they practice? LOL Tim telling her it was just a kiss. No big deal. Angela’s reply is epic. ‘Then why are we talking about it?’ Boom. Mic drop. She is iconic in this scene. Sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything else. Tim deflecting saying 'What if it wasn’t just a kiss for her?' Really asking 'Do you think she has feelings for me too?' Angela follows up asking if Lucy might have feelings for him? He looks so deflated when he says ‘No..’ Thinking no way Lucy could have feelings for him. Ugh break my heart Tim. When Angela gives me more logic it makes him said.
Telling him she probably saw the kiss as just as a weird work thing then. The defeated way he says ‘Right....’ Angela picks up on it immediately. Hence her next question to him. The way he says ‘No!' to her feelings question. He’s SO defensive. Not telling at all…Do you even believe yourself Timothy? His voice gets all high pitched. Just like Lucy does when she gets nervous about her feelings. He does his spiel about them both being in relationships. Being her boss. etc. Angela crushes it with some more solid logic. ‘All true. Not what I asked.’ God I love her. Also let’s note how deliciously tight Tim’s shirt is in this scene. Didn’t think I would let that slide by did you? Mmm.
We rejoin them in the interrogation room. Tim complaining how greasy his double is. How he hates it LOL Lucy comes in looking like a stunner. Notice Tim agreeing with Aaron’s assessment of how good she looks. She then mentions regretting the choice of thong idea LMAO I love her. Also you are going to be the death of him Lucy Chen haha What are you doing to this man? They received a call earlier and now waiting for a follow up to where to meet.
The phone goes off and Lucy gives the most ‘ in love’ look at him. She couldn’t adore that man standing in front of her more if she tried. Tim answers and Hajek tells them to meet his guys at an air strip. I love the silent communication between them. Always adore that about them. Lucy tries to get them more time saying they can’t just up and leave. How she looks requires lots of suitcases and precision.
Swing and miss sadly. Tells them to meet them there or end up in a coffin. Angela is scrambling because leaving the state is a whole other thing. Aaron saves them by letting them use his private jet for him and Angela to follow in. Lucy says they can follow the flight plan the pilot has to submit. Angela is relaxing a bit and decides to let them proceed. Aaron cracks me up asking about caviar selection such a goob. Says he'll just get an assortment. Ha I love him.
So begins them “pretending” to be a couple. When really it’s just them having no restrictions or boundaries on them. Getting to look, touch, flirt, and be free with one another. Under the guise of UC. It’s glorious really. I felt my brain stopped working multiple times in this episode the first time. Just like Tim. Lucy starts off STRONG explaining why they're late. Pulling Tim to her saying 'Their quickie wasn’t so quick.' Hot damn. (I can see this being a reason for them now a days too hehe)
They’re like magnets instantly drawn to each other. Gah I love it so much. I remember it being so hard to focus. Because they had their arms all wrapped around each other from the word go. The way they are all over each other in this hanger scene. It’s their normal banter but heightened. I’ll never be over her hand resting on his hip. His arms wrapped around her. The easy rhythm they quickly fall into. Almost like being a couple is the most natural thing in the world for them. I mean look at them. They are not struggling to sell this one bit.
The way they’re attached at the hip. Swaying together like they’re in their own world. Which what else is new with them? This is par for the course when they're together. They’re always in their own world when they banter. Only right now they’re allowed to touch and hold each other as much as they want to. And trust me they want to. It felt like I was dreaming as I watched this portion. Truly in a daze. I had to rewind and pay attention to the SL. More than once...
The smiles and the swaying gah they get me. They basically mirror the smiles and swaying from 5x12. Because they’re just as in love right now as they are 11 eps down the road. I love Lucy’s face when they get interrupted LOL It was the biggest scowl. Like excuse me you weren’t invited to this party.
I truly think they nailed this because it was their shot. They thought this was their only chance to be with each other without any restrictions. So they went for it as we can see. We all lapped it up like it was the last bit of water in the desert haha I’m giddy as he tells her to get on the damn plane. It's so cute. Lucy cannot keep her hands off him from the minute they start this. Tim is more than happy to oblige. Gah this is cloud 9 goodness.
The goodies continue on the plane as they head towards Vegas. I don’t know about you but first time I watched this portion I couldn’t focus. I was obsessed with her sitting on his lap basically. Leaning into him. Not only that but the start to Tim’s obsession we all love with her thighs. How he has his hand rests there naturally. Like his hand has found it's new home happily. Lastly their hands. I remember focusing so much on just their hands I missed dialogue. Had to rewind it to hear what was going on LOL
If you weren’t just as distracted by their hands and PDA you’re a lying liar who lies haha Or you don’t ship them. In that case why you reading this review right now? Ha I think they were both nervous about this being out of state. The hands weren’t necessary in the least. I think they were unconsciously grounding each other.
Finding comfort in each other’s touch. Also I think them being this way was incredibly natural for them. Just like everything else has been their entire relationship. Why the slow burn was so necessary. So when we got here it was basically a flawless crossover to this. Touching each other as much as possible and I love it.
Lucy cracks me up trying to get info on their job. Saying right now it's the world’s most boring bachelor party LOL Tim saying this is a job not a party. They finally tell them what their job is since they’re airborne. They ask them if they know who Roman Krupka is? They say nope. Apparently he imports Heroin to the Monarch cartel. Lucy mentions so the competition?
He continues on saying ‘Something like that.' That Roman is paranoid of computers. Doesn’t keep a written record anywhere. That the details of his operation exist in one place. One man called ‘The Brain .’ His name is Leonard Madris. Tim makes the comment isn’t is dangerous for one man to carry all that? They say yes and he’s usually kept under heavy guard. Never leaves the compound.
The reason they’re headed to Vegas is because of him. They’re received a solid tip he will be there this weekend. They find out their plan in this. They’re to take out the guards while he grabs Madris. Then they’re gonna torture the man for every detail. Then they’ll take over the business by doing so. Lucy is so cocky in her reply. I love it. Saying sounds like they should be getting paid more heh. Lyon tells them tough. So charming...
We rejoin them finding out Rosalind has escaped through Lyon. This is one of my fav moments of the episode. The way he immediately grabs her hand. Trying to ground her in this moment. Keeping her close to him so he can show her he’s there. Reassure her that she isn’t alone in hearing this. It’s just instinctual him doing this. Knowing this would be a massive trigger that would throw her off kilter. Trying to keep Lucy there with him. To stop her from losing focus and spiraling out.
Also the way Tim looks up at her. Checking in trying to get her to silently communicate with him. He needs to know she’s ok. Protective Tim is one of my favs. That immediate need to shield and protect her. Rosalind is a huge trauma trigger for her. He wants so badly to help her with this news. Look at how her hand is clutching his shoulder at first. He starts rubbing his thumb on her hand. Trying to get her to unclench. (Wasn't able to fit that one in but he does it.)
Tim being her calm in the raging storm she has going on right now. Her constant in this moment. Which is exactly what she needs. This man is so soft for her I’ll never be over it everyone. Tim isn’t able to get a read on her. She won’t look down at him. So he asks how long till they land? Lyon says 15 minutes. Tim tells them perfect. His cover being the mile high club. It’s his way of getting them a private moment. He needs to check in on her and he can’t do that with them around.
They head back and Lucy goes into full spiral mode. This is why he wanted to do this. She starts to be taken over by her fear and PTSD. Tim sees it taking over her. He tells her to stop in the softest way possible. Lucy takes a deep breath and little stomp but does. Telling her if she is not 100 percent in this it’s going to get her killed. Which ultimately will kill him in the process.
Lucy defends herself and says she’s got this. The news got to her at first but this is their one shot at Madris. That she is fine. I love him being protective and wanting to pull the plug just for her. The beautiful thing is he listens to her on this. Doesn’t bulldoze her and make a decision like he used to. He is trusting her in this moment. Letting her decide for herself ultimately. Which is such growth for him once again I can’t stand it.
He’s so ready to kill this OP if she’s not ok. I love that sfm. Letting her know that there is no shame if she does. He is there if she is ready to pull the ripcord. Tim is about to leave when she stops him. Tim looks so very confused once again. Lucy telling him it needs to look like they hooked up in here. Tim isn’t on the same page as her right now and it shows haha
Here comes that infamous airplane kiss. Has some similar aspects to their first kiss. Except way spicier this time around. Once again Lucy just pounces on Tim. He has to absorb the weight of her throwing her body at him. We watch him once again stumble into their kiss. Taken aback by her forcefulness. Her passion nearly knocking him off his feet. Tim isn't complaining once her lips collide with his though.
It doesn’t take long for him to adjust to it and go with this mini make out session of their's. He is adjusting much faster this time around. It’s all hands at first. His body absorbing the shock of her body slamming into his. Tim wrapping his arms around her anchoring her body to his. Lucy’s hands firmly planted on his face as she leads this kiss at first. Tim’s hands moving up her back fully enveloping her in his arms. Getting so very lost in her once again. Instantly melting into her.
I love how the kiss continues to get deeper. Sexier as well. Hot damn look at them above. Tim is the one chasing her lips as they continue this much spicier kiss. The way he’s leaning into her as they sway together. Two people in perfect tandem with each other. Not missing a beat. They were both so very thirsty in this moment. It’s all over this kiss. Tim running his hands up and down her back as he is savoring her. Lucy hands moving down his face not looking to part from him any time soon either. Tim isn't the only one getting easily lost in this.
Lucy’s hands sliding down his chest once again. This kiss getting deepened much faster this second time around. Their desire for one another is very evident. Tim can't keep his hands off her. Like I said for their kiss in 4x22. If they kept going his hands would end up on her face. He can’t keep them still and as she runs her hands down his chest. He pulls her closer to him not wanting to lose any contact with her. Eliminate any unnecessary space between them.
Her lips are quickly becoming a drug he is getting addicted to. He sure loves her upper lip. Captures it between his as he looks to further this impromptu kiss. *fans self* Look at him in that gif above. Wants her as close to him as possible. I just adore how softly he cups her face wanting to keep this kiss going. Totally forgetting about the mission and the men outside the door. All that matters right now is Lucy and her lips on his.
How Lucy has the self control to pull herself from him I don’t know. Gah it’s the grunt Tim does when she breaks off. *phew lord* That noise is doing things to me. Mmm. He was basically chasing her lips again when she broke off. Chasing that high of kissing her some more. He was very not ready for that to end. Also how glossy his lips look post kiss. She had her damn way with that man haha
He looks so dazed snd confused when she wipes his lips. Her hand shaking as she does this. I know we all joke about how “unnecessary” this kiss was. I think part of it was Lucy seeking comfort from Tim in this moment. The kiss quelling her Rosalind fueled anxiety. She needed to be connected with him for a moment before she could put it behind her or attempt to.
Tim was more than happy to oblige. Poor man has short circuited once again though. Eric once again the master of expressions comes through again. He doesn’t know how to restart. She’s like ok let’s do this and moves leaving Tim stand there in her wake. He is trying to figure out WTF just happened in the last 30 seconds.
We then get this pretty shot of them in the SUV. There is so much being said in the short time span of this shot too. We can see Lucy is still struggling with her PTSD. From the minute she heard the news Lucy has been scaling the walls emotionally. Almost like she’s back in that barrel. All her emotions threatening to drown her. Her lowering the window to get some air on her face. Cool her emotions down.
Looking at the bright lights trying to ground herself. To help her stay in character. Desperate not burn their UC covers. Tim looking over at her so much worry carried in eyes. She can feel his eyes on her and looks back at him. Their silent communication doing all the talking for them. She’s still in a panic but at least she has Tim with her. To keep her grounded and from spiraling out completely.
Tim giving the most space he’s given since this started. Not wanting to physically comfort her right now. Not because either of them want that space. It’s because he isn’t wanting to draw attention to her emotional distress. That would draw questions they can’t have right now. So they share a look and he doesn’t take his eyes off her. I love it so much.
Someone in the casino recognizes Jake. A girl. Which isn’t great. But does give us some protective Lucy which I always love. Finally getting to do that hair take down of her's. The one she threatened Stanton with back in 3x05. I love her taking charge of this moment. Getting this woman to back off. Don’t mess with Lucy Chen ya’ll lol They spot Angela and Aaron across the way after she lets this woman go. Figures this is the time to break off.
Lucy says she wants to gamble. See if they can get lucky three times in one day. Heh I love how he walks with her to them. Wish I could've fit the gif in. His hands on her shoulders from behind as they walk. Totally necessary to walk like this with her LOL I have a feeling this was possibly Eric being a goober steering her towards the table haha But either way I'm a happy girl with it. This was quite the married thing to do though regardless of why. I loved it. Also low key protecting her as they walk toward Angela and Aaron.
They update Angela on everything. Lucy’s first question is about Rosalind. Angela says she got a psycho lawyer to help break her out. We watch Lucy comprehend this. Saying 'Another Caleb....I knew it.' Then says Tamara needs protection. (No mention of Chris BTW) Her other fav human is with her. So no one else to protect from Rosalind. As they talk about this Lucy trying to keep her panic at bay but not doing the best job about it.
Angela picks up on it right away. Asking if Lucy is up for this? That she can pull out if she needs to. I adore Tim answering for her. Backing her and saying she’s solid. The look she gives Tim. My damn heart. He wasn’t gonna pull her till she told him to do so. Until then he supported and trusted her decision. The growth is astronomical in him. You see that written all over Lucy's face. It’s so damn good. You can tell she wanted to touch him as a thank you but stopped herself.
The minute they’re inside the room Lucy turns on the TV. Tim saves her from herself and turns it off. Saying they don’t know anything they don’t. Protective Tim is present through out this episode. Here for it. She is starting to spiral again and sits on the bed. She looks so tired and stressed out. Tim gives her a sweet compliment to cheer her up. He knows how down in the dumps she is about this. Wants to build her up in anyway he can. Saying how she's really good at UC. Just in awe of her once again.
The sweet smile he gives her when he says it too. Be more smitten Timothy I dare you. Lucy asks if he’s ok with her showering first? He says yeah. Then we see her break his brain once again. The door doesn’t close all the way and he gets a sneak peak of her naked back. He stumbles back to the bed trying not to look back at her. Replying 'Yeah... ok.. um fries.' LOL Lucy you have broken this man and I’m dying.
Eric once again crushes it with his facial expressions. Trying not to be turned on and needing a cold shower more than ever. What cracks me up is his sigh as he watches TV. Trying to drown out his dirty thoughts of her in the shower. She comes out saying the water pressure is epic. Wanting to steal the robes and asking if that's stealing? Tim says no it’ll just be charged to the room. She says ‘WE’ should take two then. There’s that married ‘We’ again.
You can tell Tim is antsy af to talk about their kisses. First off let me say how proud of I am of this man. This is the same man who couldn’t have a serious conversation with his current GF to save his life. He is the one to broach this topic with her. Once again making that first move. NEEDING to know if she’s feeling what he is very much feeling. Lucy is the one to bring this courage out in him. To want to talk about this.
He went far outside his comfort zone to get this convo started. Telling her it doesn’t feel like pretend to him. The look on his face as he says this. The hope in his eyes desperately trying to see if she is feeling their connection. Lucy panics and stutters in her reply. To me it’s not because she doesn’t feel the same. He has stunned her into silence. What she is worried about here is losing what they have.
To admit what’s going on between them means she now has something to risk. Something to lose if she does. Her person. The most important person in her life. Tim is far too important to her lose over them trying and possible failing. She is very aware it doesn’t feel like pretend. But isn’t willing to risk that. Ironically in a city like Vegas where one takes such risks. So she crushes Tim with her reply. Saying it’s an intimate act. It’s basic biology. You know a BS answer.
She is deflecting so she doesn’t have to risk losing him. Or confront this at all really. What she doesn’t know is the damage she just inflicted. Tim was already panicky from his convo with Angela about her not having feelings. He suddenly feels very alone in his desire for more. For feeling something. She’s basically rejected him in this moment. He is so sad with her reply.
He gives her one last chance with his ‘So you're saying it’s not a big deal? Doesn’t mean anything?’ She stumbles some more saying ‘Right?’ Wanting him to answer this question for her. She can’t possibly accept he wants her too. So she deflects once again. Tim put himself out there and she shut him down. Their convo is interrupted his cell phone. The looks she shoots his way break my heart. Knowing she’s hurt his feelings. When really she broke his heart a little.
It’s Angela with an update. He tells her he’s alone in the hotel with Lucy. Her ‘Uh oh’ always cracks me up. I love their friendship so very much. Her teasing is primo this season and it makes my heart happy. She is so shipping them and just wants her bestie to be happy. I love it. Telling him not to do anything she wouldn’t. He slams the phone shut and tosses it on bed. LOL
Lucy goes to dry her hair and there is a knock at the door. It’s the girl from earlier saying she knows he’s in there. Tim opens the door and gets hit in the face. They know he’s not Jake. Saying she told them he had a gut last time she saw him. That it was only 3 weeks ago. I mean that sucks for Sava. Means Jake was cheating on her long before 5x18.
He sends Wisco after Lucy and says he says not to kill her yet. Lucy is a BAMF and takes out most of the crew. This part is hilarious about her robe. I’m dying. 'Showed him the whole world just now.' Oh Lucy never change. Tim shakes his head so much I’m cackling. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. So exasperated with he right now. I love how she stares down at him lovingly. But you know it’s just basic biology right Lucy?
I love love love him walking her up. That’s last bit of protectiveness being displayed. He doesn't want her to be alone. Tim saying he can’t wait to get out of these clothes. Lucy making a joke she isn’t going to miss that hairstyle. Then Tim is so cute and flirty says he kinda likes hers though. OMG he’s so damn cute. He is such a goner for her oh my word. Lucy’s smile not believing what she’s hearing. Gah this end portion was the death of me. Tim says I guess this is it as they approach her door. Saying they go back to being them tomorrow.
He almost seems sad about that fact. Lucy turning to him and sharing 'Right..everything that happened undercover they’ll leave behind'. No you won’t lol Then Tim does his dorky UC line and regrets it instantly. Scolds himself for that line. Basically saying why are you like this? LOL Cracks me up the way he shakes his head. Like why can't you be more smooth? Oh that's right because you're stupid in love with her and a nervous wreck about it. Funny pre-cursor to his 'Naked time.' line heh.
It’s then Lucy deciding to make a move here. All this talk about going back to being them stoking something inside her. Saying in a sense they’re still UC since they haven’t been debriefed. Tim not catching what she’s throwing down. Just replies 'I guess you’re right.' Lucy is eyeing him like she is ready to have him right then and there. Her ‘Mmhm.’. Trying to give him a hint as she flicks her eyes to the door. It’s then Tim starts to catch her drift. The look on his face when it hits him. Like he can't believe she feels the same way he does.
That there is something there. There is a whole lot of want and excitement in that man's eyes. Lucy has created a loophole of sorts. One where they’re still Jake and Sava. And what do Jake and Sava like to do? Have sex. Lots of hot sex. The amount of bedroom eyes Lucy is throwing at him is insane. The sultry inviting way she says ‘Do you want to come in?’ Tim falling back on his professional boundaries like he has for years. Tells her he shouldn’t…Not that he doesn’t want to. He SHOULDN’T. The song in this scene is solid too BTW. Whoever picks music for this show needs a raise.
Lucy nods and goes to open her front door. Tim looks longingly at her as she does. Lucy gives it one last go. Cranking it up on those sultry bedroom eyes of hers. Basically inviting Tim in to have his way with her. Gah Melissa killing it with the inviting stare. We watch Tim struggle outside her doorway. He has been fighting this instinct for YEARS. I’m sure whenever he had an impure thought he pushed it down. Shoved away any attraction to her. Pushed her away as well. Maintained the professional boundaries he set up years ago. (For the most part.)
Thing is he’s been slow receding those boundaries for years as well. Especially last season when that last bit of his wall collapsed. Slowly letting her into every aspect of his life. To the point that we are now here. Where Lucy is blatantly inviting him in for something very unprofessional. We see Tim have an internal battle with himself. Then basically says ‘F*ck it and comes in. His attraction and his draw to her winning out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want this. Or hadn’t wanted it in the past before either.
Lucy asks him if he wants a drink? Can she make him one? Tim declining not wanting to waste any time in this precious loophole of theirs. Also didn’t need alcohol to have the courage to do this. He already pushed past that to even enter this apt. Not wanting to dull any senses or touch with alcohol. Wanting to be fully present with her. Lucy looks like was ready to jump his bones right then and there. The sexual tension is palpable. Their UST is off the charts with this entire scene but reaches critical levels once they’re inside.
Lucy understanding why he didn’t want that drink. Love her sweet but nervous smile as she goes to put her stuff down. It's then we see Chris there which ends up ruining everything LOL Just bleeding out on her couch. I love how Tim throws his head back when she see’s Chris is there. I’ll never forget that amount of hilarious memes Eric posted. People putting the funniest shit about him being there. I wish I could find them. They were SO funny. I’ll be honest as frustrated as I was in the moment I was glad they didn’t hook up. The UST was fantastic. Don’t get me wrong good god.
But it’s much better they got together the way they do this season. Way less mess and not worth the angst it would’ve caused for them to cheat on their SO’s. It’s the fact that they almost did that was so damn telling IMO. Phew well hot damn this was a beast to write. But I loved it. This premiere is fantastic from beginning to end. The amount of moments are unreal. Hell of a way to start out a season of non stop gifts. I haven’t watched S5 the number of times I’ve watched 1-4 so this will be fun. Excited to finish out this rewatch with you all as we count down to the S6 premiere. It’s 58 days btw...
~~~~
Side notes-Non Chenford
This isn’t something I enjoyed so much as it rubbed me the wrong way. Nolan getting a Golden Ticket. Lucy has accomplished more, done successful UC ops before and after she graduated FTO and is currently going on another UC but sure Nolan who was disgraced and held back gets one. Sure sure…it does for being Juarez in who I love so there is positives.
Tim telling Nolan he needs backup career when picking his assignment. LMFAO I LOVE THIS MAN.
Thank you thank you to this incredible fandom that has embraced these reviews. You all are amazing and I love every single like, comment and reblog I get. ❤️ shall see you all in 5x02 :)
#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie#chenford#chenford hiatus#waiting on S6#winter rewatch#S5#5x01 Double Down#the rookie 5x01#otp: doing my job#otp: you know me so well. too well.#otp: some things matter more.#otp: you did good.#otp: you're nothing like him.#otp: just doesn't feel like pretend#tim x lucy#tim bradford#lucy chen#lucy x tim#eric winter#melissa o'neil#the rookie#tim bradford x lucy chen
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HIGIHI biting chigiri is so real honestly i would too.. and now that i think about it id probably bite rin as well bc id wanna see if hes gonna kill me or just walk away awkwardly HELP
im currently at school n my science class sucks 💔 the girl that i dont really like (she doesnt like me as well) and she hasnt said a single word to me I MEAN IT MAKES SENSE WHY but idk i feel like i should talk to her or smth bc we didnt even resolve our problems w each other but either way i dont think i can be her friend again ☹️ i also unfortunately have the last lunch so I LEGIT HAVE NO FRIENDS W ME?? EITHER I MAKE FRIENDS W THE GRADE ABOVE ME OR IM EATING ALONE
i feel like im probably gonna eat in a corner and read bluelock at this point hashtag bachira before bllk HELP 💔 im hoping i find my own isagi somewhere in this school because all my friends are weirdly across the globe like why are the best people not in my city??
anyways another random question 😈🙏 what bluelock character do you think would start selling feet pics if they got kicked out of bluelock
- 🐙
HIAJAHWIIQ HELP SAME I WOULD AS WELL
I'm stuck in school as well it's lunchtime for me tho so I'm just hanging out with my one friend rn bc I have a friend group drama that apparently IM INVOLVED? A GIRL IN THE GROUP SAID I DIDNT WAVE AT HER and now she hates me idk if we're in high school or kindergarten.. so now she gives me bad looks, she tried to take some of the friends i have but two of them told her no (heheheheh) but she stole one out of the two friends I have in this education facility and when she does she stares at me in my eyeballs😒 like I'm sorry for not waving at you? IDK.
ALSO I HATW THAT like me personally I like communication bc I don't want anyone to think bad of me so I'll get upset if I can't fix something with someone😕 (that girl I literally mentioned but she was just straight toxic and took my anti social as a bait to make fun of me so I hope she trips on a stone!)
ALSO SADLY I DONT HAVE THAT PROBLEM lunchtime is lunchtime for everyone for schools in my country so all grades are out but still I always stay by myself mostly unless someone calls me I SAY READ ALONE AND HOPE SOMEONE SEES BLLK AND BECOMES YOUR ISAGI‼️‼️ the friends I have DOESNT EVEN WATCH ANIME OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES or the ones who do DONT LIVE IN THE CARIBBEAN.
erm answer to your question is shidou! he yells straight into the womb on the field what is feet pics to him😕😕
odd thing to say but in my class ppl take off their shoes to compare toes.. WHAT
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actually i AM gonna post abt this again. sorry
like when i say they make me feel like i'm in a story. i mean it
we started talking and immediately clicked. talked nonstop for days really
we both had relationships like that years before, but then paused that behavior bc we were young and it wasn't the healthiest, but now we were adults and knew better. it was the first one after that break for both of us
i avoided this behavior for awhile bc i knew it's not the healthiest but it felt so good when it happened. i (rightfully) feared the crash but at the time, the high was so worth it. and everything was going so smoothly too. things kept aligning just right all the time
every time i thought something is gonna come up or that i did something wrong and now it's all gonna blow up, they proved that i had no reason to worry, bc they let it slide immediately, even liked it
we kind of completed each other in every way. liked the same things and had a lot in common, but were opposites in enough things that we weren't TOO similar
i stopped worrying abt annoying them relatively early into the whole thing (usually it takes me months or even years, or i never stop at all. here it was maybe 2-3 weeks)
we became actually close right on their birthday. a small thing but you gotta admit if this was a story it'd be poetic as hell
every time they had a problem and i jokingly said i'm sending a spell their way to fix it, it passed after like 2 minutes. absolutely insane coincidence stuff
i mentioned this before. and this is gonna be embarrassing but. we met through, well, kin stuff lol. they kin chuuya, i kin dazai, we joked abt kindating etc. anyway my mental health was shit but they genuinely uplifted me a lot. they made me want to live for the first time in who knows how long, maybe ever. i think you can tell why i prefaced this story with that fact 🥲 embarrassing but real
and now this shit? 😭 another small thing but like. i make a post abt them bc now is generally around the time we started talking, and someone i follow queued a post from their blog and it posts right now?? they've been decativated for nearly a year HOW did this line up like that 😭
they unfortunately made me believe in the concept of soulmates :/ but as my friends (and mom. bc she saw me cry over the whole thing for days) said. if they cut me off and hurt me like that, they weren't ~the one~
and another thing that made me feel more like i'm in a teen movie is. i legit spent a day and a half in bed crying and barely doing anything else, after they cut me off. truly cliche stuff. actually that's a good way to put it - they made me feel like a cliche. still do when i think abt it a year later. it was a good thing at first, bad when it ended. i could make a movie abt this barely changing any detail and it'll be an average teen romantic comedy (except i'll have to add some happy ending there)
anyway let me finish all that by saying. who the fuck blocks someone on spotify 😭 dude...
(it's been a year and i got burned so badly from this whole thing that i seriously doubt i'll be able to love someone this much again. i need it to be an instant obsession to actually feel good about love, but i'll never be able to confidently go into any new relationship with that purpose because i'm just too scared things will hurt this much again. it's honestly so depressing lol 🥲 but what can ya do)
(i also became the most suicidal i've ever been since lol. probably bc of how big the drop was. it still hasn't gone away. part of why i see no point in life is bc of that previous paragraph. so.)
#vent#but it's me being obsessive and weird probably#(trust me when i say i can be way worse tho! 😎)
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Rather Die | Chapter 7
word count: 1634
cross posted on wattpad
master list
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After a long work week, it's finally the weekend. Victoria is back at the apartment she once shared with Eliana. She's finally moving out and moving in with Mila.
Ashton is at the apartment to be an extra hand to help Vic pack the rest of her stuff and to help the movers.
"So, this is really it, huh? You're moving out?" Eliana asks, sniffling.
"Yep. It's been the plan for like a couple weeks now." Victoria responds.
"So, you're not even going to give me a second chance? I thought we were just going to have a break & then be okay." Eliana starts whining with a fake cry.
"Eliana, seriously? Why would I give you a second chance? It sure as hell wasn't seeming like you wanted a second chance as you immediately hooked up with and started dating Austin after our fight and then was a complete total bitch to me on the set that you shouldn't have been on."
"I-I don't know. I'm sorry." she continues to fake cry.
"Oh my god, Eliana. Stop with the fake crying."
"I'm not faking it! I can't believe you're leaving me!'
"Well, believe it."
"I also can't believe you'd bring my ex here to help you! What kind of friend does that?!"
"Were not friends anymore, Eliana. But me & Ashton are, and I needed his help."
"Why? Because my replacement couldn't help you?"
"Mila?"
"Yeah." Eliana fake cries, again.
"Oh my god, will you just shut up? And no, Mila couldn't help me because she's making sure that everything is ready for me to move in, and she needs to be there when the movers get there."
Keeping up the act, "I can't believe you're replacing me!"
"Eliana, for the LOVE of God, please stop. I know you're just trying to manipulate me into feeling bad for you so I will apologize and for everything to be all dandy again, but it's not going to work."
Ashton steps in, "Yeah, quit the act, Eli. It's not going to work."
"Seriously. Take your fake ass crying to your boyfriend." Vic says.
"Fine. I will take my REAL TEARS to my boyfriend. The only person who cares about me, apparently."
Eliana storms out of the apartment.
"God, she's so dramatic." says Victoria.
"Legit. I don't even know how I dated her for so long." Ashton says. "But all your furniture is on the truck now. Just these boxes left?"
"Yep. Just packed the last one."
"Got it."
Victoria takes one last look around the room as the movers are taking out the last of her things. A tear falls from her eye, remembering all the good times that she had in this room. It's bittersweet, but it's what she needs to do.
She walks downstairs and gives the apartment one last glance. More tears shed from her eyes. Victoria removes her apartment key from her key ring that includes her car key, and a Los Angeles keychain Eliana got her years ago when they were still long distance. She removes the keychain as well and sets both down on the kitchen counter.
It's a painful thing for Victoria to do. She never thought she'd be leaving this apartment so soon. She never thought her best friend would ever do her so wrong.
Victoria takes a deep breath & reminds herself that everything happens for a reason, and that this will all be for the best.
She walks out of the apartment with her head held high, leaving the toxicity of that place and heads towards her fresh new start.
Thankfully, Mila's apartment is only a 10 minute drive & they can move everything in one go.
Ashton meets her at Mila's building to help carry in boxes as the movers bring in the furniture.
"Welcome to my little cozy casa, as I like to say!" Mila says opening the door for Vic & Ash.
"Hi! Thanks again for letting me live with you! Where should I put the boxes?" Victoria asks.
"You can set them in the living room for now, so they'll be out of the way for your furniture to be put in your room."
"Perfect."
Everyone continues to do their part of the moving in until everything was brought in.
"Well, that's the last of it. Want me to stick around to help you unpack?" Ashton asks Victoria.
"No, that's okay. I think Mila & I can handle it."
"Okay. Let me know if you need anything." Ash steps closer to Vic, looking at her lips and back into her eyes.
"Thanks, I-I will." Victoria notices his eye movements, and does the same to him.
Ashton goes in for it & kisses Victoria.
"I'm- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." he says.
"No, it's okay. I, um, I didn't mind."
"Okay. Um, I'll see you later." he says as he starts to walk off.
"Wait, Ash?" Vic stops him. She kisses him this time before he leaves. "Thanks for letting me stay with you the past couple weeks. I really appreciated it."
"No problem, Vic. Anytime."
As soon as Ashton leaves, "You did not just kiss him!!" Mila says.
"I did. I have been kind of feeling things for him since spending more time together. Seems like he's feeling things too."
"You think he'll ask you out?"
"Maybe. Who knows."
"You're not just doing this to get back at Eliana, are you?"
"Noooo. I wouldn't. I'm not that petty like she is."
"Good, good."
"I just need her to stay the fuck away from me."
"Good luck with that. Hopefully Austin can keep her away from set."
"Right? I already hate the fact that I'm stuck doing this movie with him. I dont need to be seeing her there too."
"If it gets to really be a problem, talk to Anna & Sarah about it."
"Oh you know I will."
"So, I was thinking, we can get some unpacking done & then we can head to the grocery store, as I need to go shopping and I want you to be able to get stuff you'd like."
"Sounds like a plan."
The girls go into Victoria's room & start unpacking the boxes.
"Oh, what's this?" Mila picks up a book and something falls out if it. "Elvis movie premier ticket?"
"Oh, yeah. That's my journal slash diary. I save little memory things like that and add them to my journal entries. That must have not been taped in good enough. Honestly you can toss the ticket."
"Are you sure? I mean, I know you're mad at Austin but it's still a memory that youd look back on one day, ya know?"
"I'm sure. I don't need anything extra from that asshole."
"Alright."
Something in her gut was telling Mila to not toss it and to save it. She sneaked it into the back of the journal and continued to unpack things.
"I really should have gone through my clothes while I was packing to donate. I have so much." Victoria complains.
"Hey, I'll take donations." Mila says.
"Baby, your so little. I feel like my stuff might be too big."
"I may be little, but ya girl has tits. I think I could manage."
"Well, feel free to go through my pile of stuff I'm getting rid of. Whatever you don't take, I'll drop off to Salvation Army."
"Deal."
After they get a good majority of the boxes done, they headed off to the grocery store.
"How do you feel about bacon?" Victoria asks Mila.
"Love. It's so good." Mila responds.
"Thank god. I could never have it if Eliana was around. She would be like "Oh my god, ew. I can't believe you like it and smells so gross."
Before Mila could respond, "Talking shit about my girlfriend again, Vic?" Austin asks he runs into them.
"God, can I go anywhere with out you being there?" Victoria asks him.
"Guess not. Eliana came crying to me today because you were being a bitch to her."
"I wasn't. She was literally being an annoying, manipulative, whiny, drama queen. All like "I can't believe you're leaving me." She said in a mocking tone.
"Yeah, she thought you guys would make up."
"Yeah, no. That's not happening. You can deal with her now & all her neediness. Now if you'll excuse us, we have some shopping to do."
"Don't forget to get your chill pills." he says as walks away.
"My what??"
"You heard me!"
"He said chill pills right?" Vic confirms with Mila.
"Yeah. He did."
"He's so annoying, I swear to God. His girlfriend is the one who needs the chill pills."
"From what I've heard and seen on set, yeah."
The girls finish up their shopping trip & head back home.
By the time everything was done for the day, it was dinner time. They decided on a frozen California Kitchen pizza for dinner as they're both exhausted from a long day.
They get comfy in the living room with their pizza & turn on the TV.
"In other news, 'Elvis' star Austin Butler was seen having some major PDA with model, Eliana Hernandez. Seems like she has broken up with & moved on from lead singer of the band The Drivers, Ashton Pierce." the main guy from TMZ reports as soon as the TV is turned on.
"Can I catch a break?" Victoria complains.
"Want me to change it?" Mila asks.
"Please."
"What shows are you into?"
"Let's see, I love Friends, those sappy dramas on Freeform, umm what else..."
"I also love those. Wanna do Switched at Birth? Wait no, Austin's in that."
"Oh yeah. We can just do Friends."
"Perfect."
Later on that night, Victoria gets a text from Ashton.
"Hey! I really enjoyed those kisses earlier. Maybe we could do some more of that and go on a date?"
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#austin butler#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler imagine#austin butler one shot#austin butler smut#austin imagine#austin butler rather die#rather die
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https://www.tumblr.com/lv-iceprince/763878569324756992/httpswwwtumblrcomlv-iceprince763844563695796
Sorry for taking a while to respond🥲I ended up getting busy out of the blue
Yep, grandma went and lovesss Mingi. And now she also loves Yunho😂When I got her a ticket, I was like “awww are you happy you’re going to see them?” And my grandma was like “be quiet, I’m going to see Mingi” and we both laugh so hard🤣🤣and no fr, that’s so true
Thank you🥲I’m not even going to have high expectations on getting good seats for them because that ticketing sale will be war. Omggg getting tickets in Australia must be so nice. I might as well go there and get tickets🤣🤣
I know boo to me for being a bad squishy and wearing heels😭I did it for 2 reasons. 1, because I knew that there was going to be people taller than me and would probably block me from having a good view of them and 2, I did it for the sake of fashion lmao. But yeah it was torture, it was already painful enough waiting in long lines for hours and I made it worse for wearing heels. I wasn’t the only one but yeah I know that’s just bad choice😂😂
YESSS final fantasy I have nothing but love and admiration for the animation, the aesthetic, the dub voices, they ATE. Aww ok but I mean when is anime realistic🤣I don’t mind the zoom in if anything, it sometimes makes the scenes funnier😂
Oh my- danggg😳I mean, who would complain if it’s Felix😂
I’m still so happy about that, you’re so sweet😭🥹♥️I love him so much too😭
I just read your post and I feel bad, I’m so sorry you feel that way😔I love the requests you’ve done for other people but it does get it hard when it feels like they’re taking it for granted. I don’t think you’re boring at all, you’re very friendly and so sweet. I actually thought I was probably spamming your ask box with long paragraphs😅I’m actually an introvert and shy but I become extroverted when I’m comfortable with someone and I find it easy to talk to you. If you feel that you need time off, I understand and I hope you have a great time for your birthday even if you weren’t able to do any events. You deserve the best and I don’t want you feeling that way for your special day. If no one cares, I care about you. You’re literally so easy to talk to and approachable. I’m sure you’re even nicer and friendlier to socialize with in person. I hope you have the best time on your birthday!🎂🫶🏼♥️
~🎶
Dude your Grandma needs to be so cherished, the fact there are Grandma's that stan Ateez that is so unexpected but like it makes sense? And Yunho and Mingi be pulling all the girls no matter what generation istg. And you know what, I won't endorse it because it will make tickets harder to get in Australia, butttt if any of ya'll happen to be in Australia and there's a kpop concert go. Ticket chances are great, I'm a judgemental bitch but even I love the kpop stan concert crowd, last time I saw Skz I was airdropped Stray Kids memes the entire time until the concert started, we were sharing the love and giving free keychains that we made and photocards it was so wholesome.
It was crazy when skz came on legit so loud but before that it was so fun like just stay being lazy chill and acting like best friends. Oh and my god Stray Kids are so cool in Australia, you get swearing, you get abs, you get water, you get it all like the whole crowd will only sing the uncensored versions of songs both skz and cover songs, even if kids are in the audience because lets be real those kids live in Australia they know how to swear. Going down under turns you into a stripper, it's in the air.
And okayyy I understand you boo, you had to do what you had to do high heels and all. And realistic anime with realistic zooming is where it's attttt.
Not gonna mention that Lix syn ship anymore but mars trine mars is lethal.
And for your ship I will deliver, I want to make the aesthetic as wholesome as possible and really speak to Yeosang's energy. Hehet is your aesthetic🌼
Also my post wasn't meant to guilt trip you all I just wanted to check in because my lonely prone ass overthinks and I didn't know if we had a purely transactional fwb type ship deal or if I could get emotionally attached lol. And yeah it's easy to fall into a little sadness bubble when you feel alone, it's the human experience. And I love spam and talking so please help me procrastinate. Bro people have said that to me about the introvert thing and I felt so bad because like me too bitch and I accidentally came across more extroverted and like I was social no I'm not nsdjdjsdfjsd
But yes! I had a good birthday I antisocialed my way out of a family barbecue and my mum made an excuse for me because I really wasn't going to feel it. I do those every year for my birthday but I got the exception this year. I'm back kind of just working on my last 2 uni assignments for the year but yeah I just needed 2 days to work through feelings and I want to be back and active. But I mean this thank you so much for being here and being so kind and thank you for letting me know, and this goes for all of you. I don't voice it that often but I get in my own head about my writing and the way I interact with you and I panic, but legit all of you are so understanding and kind when I let you know about it I honestly don't deserve any of you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I've been subscribed to 'Terrible Writing Advice' for nearly three years now, and not only is it such a great parody on writing advice and studying creative writing, it also helps a lot with aspiring artists such as myself.
The phrase "Writing is a skill to learn" is actually the best advice I've ever heard for writers.
I have an AO3 account, and I also put up original stories on there.
Which... haha. For anyone who's read 'Destiny's Burden' on my account, you know why this video is amazing to me.
I have been praised quite a bit for my writing on the internet, and my stories being 'genius'. This also applies to my beta readers in real life and my creative writing classes in high school and college.
But I was NOT born a good writer. I started writing since I was six. And my writing was quite awful. Unoriginal, makes no sense, gross stuff that I am ASHAMED of. The first time I got legit recognized for making something good was when I was eleven. And then I got strangled by a 'friend' because in their eyes it was bad.
But I never stopped studying writing. Even if I had a hard time showing it. Because I never showed people my writing, and because I got an internet account only into my adulthood, everyone just assumes I have a gift and that I'm some talented artist who is a genius on the subject of writing fiction.
That's not true. I've studied for over a decade, had MANY trial and errors, and just built the skill. I am not a genius. No one is. There are many flaws in my writing STILL.
Hell, my account name 'destinygoldenstar' is actually phrasing two of my most passionate original writing works.
Destiny's Burden, being my little chosen one parody story that I made an account to try and advertise for it (and fail miserably)
And GoldenStar, is my self insert superhero character I made when I was ten. And ever since I have reshaped her character many many MANY times to create a coherent story for her and make her a character that is not only ideal but relatable to life experience. And the first draft of her was the biggest Mary Sue ever. My gosh has she evolved since then as my writing skill got better and I started to understand what made a good character. (I may or may not have a story for her that's going to be on my AO3 account soon)
While I don't agree with the "Mary Sues have been reduced to 'character I don't like', therefore the term is meaningless" claim. It is important to know from my own personal experience that it's OKAY to make a character that you feel conformable with. It's OKAY to make a character that you identify with even if no one else can.
Because the important thing (and the moral for my GoldenStar story) is that you're not representing a society, or a group that needs recognition, or even an entire planet. You're representing YOURSELF.
And writing, good or bad, is a way to shed that.
So YES, write a character that goes through your own personal life experiences. Show your lens and BE your character. And don't worry about a 'Mary Sue' argument, because if you end up being well aware of your identity and your strengths and weaknesses, that shows more trial and error and effort than you think.
Anyway, please watch Terrible Writing Advice's videos. They're funny, and they're enlightening.
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On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):
(Rb ok!)
Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):
Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)
There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.
Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)
I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.
Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.
Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)
With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.
I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.
But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!
#mp100#mob psycho 100#my post#mp100 headcanons#welcome to my hc#asd#autism#actually autistic#kageyama shigeo#mob#mp100 meta#Japanese society#japanese culture#meta#mp100 analysis
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lowkey (jjk) | 02.
⦿ boo’d up in the daytime
⦿ mackin’ & hangin’ in the nighttime
↳ series masterlist
summary: in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.
pairing: popular!reader x nerd!jjk
genre: college au, fake dating au, friends (with benefits?) to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut
words: 3.2k
warnings: cussing, implied sexual content/mature language, kissy-kissy koo, mentions of a boner, mention of sex and cum, seokjin’s still toxic
note: posting this chapter a little early since it’s butter weekend, plus the last part of liquid courage should be up sat/sun. still sticking to my schedule in my faq though, srry loves! i’ll do my best to update as soon as i can. 💗
tags: @taegularities @jimidol @miinoongi @bluesharksandfish @ggukkieland @unicornbabylover @thebeebi @preciouschimine @ladyartemesia @moonchild1 @jikookiekosmos @marcoazz2 @kootaes @wearenot7withu @codeinebelle @bigbootyjoonie @thisartemisnevermisses @maichiverse @ppeachyttae @fairysunooo @secretlycrazyhummingbird @yukiehyukie
"I heard you were in an accident last night, babe. Are you okay? I'm so sorry I got mad at you yesterday." Seokjin comes towards you, cupping your face to look at every inch, every detail. You move away from his hold, backing up to give yourself some space.
"Seokjin, I told you to stop calling me that. Jesus. I'm fine. Don't need you to check up on me."
"Are you really gonna keep that up? I said I was sorry."
"Okay, and? I heard you."
"Really, that's it? Y/N, why are you being like this? What's the real reason?" He follows after you as you make your way to the library. To say Seokjin was persistent is an understatement— he was persistent for the wrong reasons. Like, keeping you close so he had you to fall on when things went wrong with another chick, his safety net.
"Because this is done, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I'm tired of you doing this so, please. Just go." You slightly turn towards him as you climb up the stairs.
"I wanna work this out with you. Don't push me away. Let me help." You don't respond. He watches as you adjust your bag strap and wave at Jungkook. Seokjin chuckles and grabs your wrist gently, making Jungkook suddenly hop on defense as he balls his fists. Like he could do shit. Seokjin would probably wreck his ass with those broad shoulders.
Still. He hated how much of an asshole he was to you.
"Wait, what the fuck?" Seokjin laughs his rare, deep laugh that he uses when he's caught off guard. "You're hanging out with nerds, now?"
"And if I was, that would be none of your business." You snatch your arm away while glaring at him. You shake your head and continue walking towards Jungkook, relieved Seokjin finally left you alone today. Probably off to tell Namjoon, Yoongi and his friends how much of a bitch you've been and that you actually left him to hang out with a nerd.
Sunmi knows you're being tutored. However if that wasn't the case, she would question you, but she never take their side on shit. She remained loyal to you, and always supported you through whatever. That's why she's remained your bestfriend until this day. The senior chicks Seokjin and them hung around with though? Questionable. As long as Sunmi was by your side and you by hers, you both didn't care much for getting close to them.
"Hey, sorry you had to see that." You say as you sigh and set your bag down alongside of you on the long table.
"It's alright." Jungkook replies softly. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Thanks." You give him a tiny, tightlipped smile. "So, should we get right into tutoring, or should we talk about the details of our deal? I have all afternoon." Luckily, it was quite loud in the loud section of the library. No one cared much to listen in to your secret deal with Jungkook, nor did anyone care because it was Jungkook.
"I do too. I guess, whatever works for you?"
"Let's get this tutoring over with first then iron out the rest." He nods.
"Sure." He pulls out his notebook. "Tell me, what are you struggling with?"
"Everything." He does a small head tilt.
"I doubt that. I'm sure you understand some things."
"No, you don't understand Jungkook. I'm legit drowning. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or where I'm lacking." Jungkook simply looks at you, lips pressed together before he nods. You're not lacking anywhere, he thinks. You're really not. The subject is just shitty and the spawn of the devil.
"That's okay. Well, can I go over some basics? Throw in some tips?"
"Yes, please. Lead the way. I need you." You chuckled, but it makes the heat rush to his cheeks. He hopes you don't catch the rosy tint creeping up on them, so he instantly grabs at the whiteboard near your table and starts to go over the very beginning, the very basics of this semester's OChem class. Maybe a bit from last semester, but last semester wasn't entirely that bad compared to this one.
He didn't expect you to be all that engaged for some reason, but he should have known you'd ask questions left and right, taking the black whiteboard marker from his hand to practice what you've learned with him watching and guiding you from your side. You were always focused, always so determined. You were incredibly smart. Incredibly beautiful.
Honestly, Jungkook go on for days.
The both of you hadn't realized it was nearing close to 5PM and neither of you had really eaten much since lunch. You sit, feeling pretty good about your first session with Jungkook. You feel a little bad having kept him for so long over OChem, realizing you still had things to iron out with him.
[sunmi] 4:34pm: hey babe, not gonna be leaving for a bit. i forgot i had to work on this psych project with jennie. you okay with leaving around 6/7?
"Crap."
"What's the matter?" Jungkook glances at you as you continue to stare at your phone and scroll away.
"Sunmi isn't leaving until later. I'll probably be stuck here for a little longer after you leave." You put your phone down, now resting your chin against your palm, nails slightly digging into your cheek.
"I-I can give you a ride, if you'd like? Plus, we still need to talk.. about stuff." He shyly says.
"Jungkook, that's too much to ask for."
"It's really not a big deal. How far do you live from campus?"
"Maybe a 10 minute drive, the next exit off the freeway." He shrugs.
"I'm going in that direction too."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. We can just talk on the way home."
"Would you be willing to stop by for dinner? We can talk then. Maybe it can be considered our 'first date.'" You joke with a small giggle.
"Oh, sure. Yeah." He gives off a tiny, nervous laugh. "Where did you have in mind?"
"Can we get.. hm—" You hum. "Fire Wings? Down the street?" He almost feels intoxicated watching how your eyes gleam under the light, how they brighten and widen when you mention food. You were cute, and you didn't even know it.
"Only if you tell me what flavors you get." He tries to get smart, which makes you laugh. He made you laugh.
"Is this judgment day? Gonna see if you should call quits on our deal before it even starts?"
"Maybe." He goes along with it.
"Okay. Garlic Parmesan and Dragon." You pack up your things before shooting him a look.
"Okay, solid flavors." He nods. "I guess we can continue on."
"You're funny." You giggle as you both throw your bags onto your backs. You stay in your position until Jungkook comes to your side so you can walk by him. You don't know much about him, but he has a soft demeanor and he makes you feel comfortable. You had only seen him a couple of times across campus, not really noticing him much in class either. You feel a little bad knowing you didn't even try being that he sat behind you, but better late than never I guess? Maybe there was a reason for all of this happening. The way he tutored you today was insane, too— he was super smart, but broke it down perfectly, was patient. He was patient.
No wonder Dr. K loved his ass.
"What about you?" You picked up the conversation.
"I usually go for a dry rub and Garlic Parmesan."
"I haven't tried any dry rubs."
"You can try one of mine later."
"Okay." You suddenly remember to shoot Sunmi a text before she comes looking for you everywhere on campus. Jungkook stays silent beside you, allowing you to do your thing without being too overbearing or nosy.
But, he honestly can't help but glance a few times.
[y/n] 5:11pm: sorry just saw this, hitching a ride with my tutor. don't worry about me! ty ily, have fun working on your project.
[sunmi] 5:13pm: tutor, as in jeon jungkook?
[y/n] 5:15pm: yeah, he offered.
[sunmi] 5:16pm: okay, that was nice of him. if he tries anything tho i'll beat his ass. text me when u get home?
[y/n] 5:17pm: don't worry about him, he won't lol i will.
[sunmi] 5:18pm: kk love u b
"Sorry." You say, tucking your phone into your pocket. "Had to text Sunmi."
"That's okay. You two are really close, right?"
"Yeah, since high school."
"Cool." At this point, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok are coming out of the café at the same you two are passing.
"What about you, where are your friends?"
"Um." He sighs, trying to avoid his friends obnoxiously waving and calling him from the distance. You glance over from behind his figure, chuckling a little bit. "That's them."
"Cute. You all are really close, too?"
"Ya, I've known Jimin the longest though." You smile and wave at them, causing them to gasp and whisper amongst each other with huge smiles on their faces.
"I'll need to meet them if we're gonna do this thing for real. Do they know?"
"Yeah kinda."
"That's okay. We should probably work on keeping it between us though." He nods.
"Okay, but. Can we save meeting them for later? They're a bit.. much." You smile.
"Sure."
"D-do I have to meet Sunmi?" You nod.
"If you wanna make this believable, yeah."
"She's kinda scary."
"Jungkook, she's not gonna bite your head off. She just has that look, but I promise she's sweet." That look, that resting bitch face. Really, you could be biased because it's Sunmi. She really only had issues if she felt disrespected. Other than that, she meant well. Same with you— you've been accused of being intimidating and having the same look but you don't mean any harm by it.
"Okay." Jungkook unlocks his black 2016 Honda Civic and pops his bag in the trunk. You do the same, while Jungkook goes to open the passenger door for you.
"Thanks." You smile sweetly at him. He climbs into his seat, hitting the button to start the car and sighs. The music in the background starts to play, and it sounds mellow, soothing— like it came straight out of a fairytale. His eyes widen as he rushes to lower the volume before shyly looking at you.
"Sorry."
"What, no. Don't be. What is this?"
"A Final Fantasy lofi mix." He begins to drive off as you turn the volume back up.
"It's nice. Pretty relaxing."
"Ya, it's nice to listen to after a long day." He pushes his glasses up at the light.
"Do you have family here?" He nods.
"I do. My mom and dad live about an hour away. I'm the only child. What about you?"
"Same. They're probably 30 minutes up north."
"Do you live alone?"
"Yeah, I live in a studio. It's actually my coworker's. She bought the space to rent it out. She lets me rent it for pretty cheap though."
"That's nice."
"You?"
"I live with Jimin. Our parents are close."
"What about your other friends?"
"Hoseok is dorming, and Taehyung would rather live back home with his family and commute. He's close to them. He'll crash at ours or Hoseok's from time to time."
"Are you close to your family?" He nods as he turns into the plaza lot.
"I suppose, yes. I'm just really quiet overall, so they think it's hard to read me sometimes." He parks and you watch as he shuts the car off with the same button. "You?"
"Yeah, I'm really close to my mom. Dad, a little questionable."
"Why, if I may ask?" He comes to open your door again, causing you to give him a small smile.
"He, um. Just got into some stuff." He watches as your body tenses while you fiddle with your fingers waiting in line.
"It's okay, don't think about it. I won't ask again."
"It's okay, Jungkook. Really. Maybe another time?" You look up at him and he nods. He stands way taller than you, almost at Seokjin's height, if not the same. He likes to wear baggy, dark clothing and doesn't do much to fix or style his hair.
He's simple, but in a good way.
You both order your food with Jungkook going first so he can grab a table afterwards. Before he could pay though, you offer to cover him for dinner as your way of thanking him for driving you home. You make your way over to the table he snags, Jungkook silently sitting at the high table with his legs pressed together and his hands clasped tightly on his lap.
"You okay?"
"Ya, why?"
"You look tense."
"Sorry. It's not everyday I have dinner with Y/N." You smile.
"Stop, relax." You watch as he slightly eases up. "So, this deal." He nods. "A month?"
"Yeah, I suppose."
"We have to convince people it's real or else people will know something weird is going on." You look at his hand, now resting on the table. "You're gonna have to hold my hand and kiss me, you know?" He swallows the lump in his throat. Shit, he thinks. Don't know if I can actually pull this off?
A kiss?! Fuck.
"Y-yeah."
"When was your last relationship, Jungkook?"
"8th grade." Your eyes widen.
"O-oh, now I see."
"What's that supposed to mean? It's terrible, I know but I—"
"No, no, no. You're good. It's totally okay, it doesn't matter. I'll just have to teach you to make it look realistic and not.. awkward." You perk up again. "Not saying that you are though, okay."
"I know."
"So, are you.."
"Am I..?" He cocks hid head to the side in confusion.
"Like.."
"Just ask Y/N."
"Are you a virgin?"
"I don't know." You furrow your brows.
"Huh?"
"Look, this is gonna sound really embarrassing and I don't know if I'm even ready to tell my fake girlfriend about it."
"Just say it. We have to know things about each other." He sighs.
"I— ugh." He groans. "I did it with my girlfriend at the time. Or I guess my ex because we had broken up and this was sometime during freshmen year in high school and she came onto me out of nowhere at a mutual friend's pool party. But it was weird because we were just hormonal kids and I was just curious so I slipped myself into her only to slip back out right after because—" He's rambling, but you're doing your best to keep up.
"Because?"
"I-I, ugh. Y/N." He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"
"Jungkook." You lean a bit to try and catch eye contact.
"I came right away." He says just as the worker puts down your food and takes the number from your table.
"Ohhhhhhh." You say as you nod slowly. "Okay."
"You can just run now." His head hangs low as he slowly slides his chicken over in front of him, causing you to chuckle.
"I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. Stop that."
"It's pathetic."
"No. Besides, I know you'll get better overall, and you'll find someone who will rock with you till the end. We'll work on this."
"Thanks." He says, feeling comfortable around you. You were quick to reassure him and smile at him, he felt himself melting in his seat. Yeah, you were too good for Seokjin.
"You'll have to come to parties with me. Club events. Events in general. It won't look right if I'm always going without you."
"Okay. Can I bring my friends?"
"Sure." He nods. "What do you do in your free time?"
"Play video games and listen to music. Read comics, manga. Build lego sets with the guys."
"Cute." You smile.
"You?"
"Hang out with Sunmi, or just watch movies on my own at my place. Read. Eat by myself. Explore by myself. I value my alone time."
"It's nice." Jungkook's familiar with it. Even if he had his friends around, he truly liked being in his own peace when allowed. "What about outside of the public eye?"
"Hm?" You hum.
"Do we hang out?"
"Yeah we can." You nod.
"Cool." He smiles.
"Is my car gonna be a lot of work for you?"
"Don't worry about it, it'll be good soon. Just might take a bit cause I need some parts to make it look brand new again."
"I really can't thank you enough." He shrugs.
"Only trying to help my girlfriend out." He boldly says, causing you to laugh.
"Confidence is peeking through already, are you sure you need me?" You joke. The rest of the evening, you continue to talk to Jungkook about pretty surface level shit— what you like, dislike, overall experience in high school and college so far. It was a nice, harmless conversation, one where you were starting to see how warmhearted Jungkook really was. How real and laid back.
None of the shit in Seokjin's group. It was refreshing, a breath of fresh air.
Once dinner had finally finished, Jungkook was on his way to drop you off. He had parked in an empty guest spot, offering to walk you up just to be sure. At the door, he took a peek at how clean your studio was, mainly soft colors of white and cream taking over, with plants scattered around your living room area. The hallway in was sandwiched between your kitchen area and another wall, Jungkook assuming your bed was on the opposite side of it. He awkwardly stands at the door, afraid of overstepping.
"Well, goodnight Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Hey, wait." You smile and come close to him. He swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling dry when he feels your breasts press against his chest. "First lesson— give me a kiss."
"Right now?"
"Jeon Jungkook, we're doing this tomorrow. People are gonna have to see this at least once while we're together." He nods and presses a quick kiss against your cheek. "Not bad, but a little longer?" He complies and presses another kiss, leaving his pillowy lips against your cheek for a little longer before pulling away. "Perfect. Now here." You point at your lips before crossing your arms.
"Y/N, I—"
"Don't be afraid, just do it. I won't kick you in the balls or anything."
"It's not that. I just don't think I'm a great at this stuff."
"Okay." You tippytoe and gently grab his jaw while you lean towards his face. "Just relax, okay? Don't think too much of it." He stays silent, doe eyes constantly on you as you continue to inch forward.
Sparks. Just sparks everywhere for Jungkook.
He feels your soft lips against his and he relaxes, moreso because he feels like he's lost all senses being this close to you. Taking in your scent. Kissing you.
"There." He stands still, still trying to process the kiss. "Not bad. We'll get better over time, but at least that looks believable. Just—" You put his hands down as they were about to fall onto your hips during the kiss, but they fell short. "Let it happen and hold me, okay?" You smile. "Night Jungkook."
"N-night." He stutters as he watches you close the door. "Fuck." He whispers to himself when he realizes he's now sporting a boner. "Jungkook, what the fuck is this?!" He continues to whisper to himself as he waddles down your hallway.
#bts#bts fanfiction#jeon jungkook#kook#bts jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#bts imagines#jeon jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jk x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bts jungkook x reader#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook angst#jeon jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jk angst#jk smut#jk fluff#xpeachesncream#lowkey series#nerd!jk#fake dating au
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Kissletoe
Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader
Summary: You’re not a fan of mistletoes. You think it’s an outdated Holiday tradition and an excuse for lovesick fools to steal a kiss. Unlucky for you, college parties are riddled with them this year and someone’s been trying to meet you under one all night.
Warnings: College shenanigans (no one cares in the real world). Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration & fingering, oral [female receiving], handjob & attempted dirty talk/goofy sex?). Language. Mentions of drugs and alcohol. & bad Christmas pickup lines.
Title Inspiration: “Kissletoe” by 3OH!3
A/N: I’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe let alone attended a legit college party because I’ve been lame my whole life. 🔔 ‘Tis that season! 🎄 Happy Holidays, ya filthy, lovely readers! 🙋🏻♀️ Raise your hand if you’re on the naughty list this year! ❤️ Enjoy!
It’s the end of the college fall semester and for the majority of students, the only way to celebrate surviving finals week is to let loose and party, especially right before you’re all forced to go back home to visit family for the Holidays.
“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that?” You hear your friend and roommate Natasha ask.
You stop stuffing your belongings in a box and pause at her question to look down at your current attire - black leggings paired off with an oversized University college-style sweatshirt. You had your hair pulled up in a messy bun, your face clear of any make-up, and lastly your feet were clad in funky, fuzzy socks. This is what you normally wore inside the dorm around her, and you certainly didn’t need to dress to impress just to go home. What was she on about?
“Uh, home? Where else would I be going at the end of the semester?” You reply, an obvious answer.
“Don’t be a smartass,” she retorts, and is quick to follow up when she sees the knowing look on your face and mouth open to retaliate with an even sassy response, “and don’t even start!”
She knew you’d say something like you were exactly that, smart. You in fact had amazing grades and excelled in every course you’d enrolled in. You were confident that you’d aced your exams, so you’re not checking the portal every chance you could get to see if the professor had uploaded your grades yet.
“You’re not supposed to be leaving until Monday,” she reminded you.
“I know, but I mean, there’s no rule saying I had to stay here until then,” you clarify, continuing to pack up more of your things, “I’d rather much get a head start.”
“You’re that eager to get away from me, huh?” She says, feigning sadness.
“You’re the only thing I’m going to miss about college,” you assure her.
College was a different experience for everyone. It was an introduction to the real world. Some used it to start anew, to buckle down and make something of themselves, others used it as an extension to repeat four more years of high school.
You took your studies very seriously, especially if you wanted to maintain your scholarship. It was a known fact college wasn’t cheap and you were fortunate to be here on one. With all that aside, you still knew when to have some fun. After all, all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy, right? You didn’t want to be that kind of person, you wanted to enjoy your college years, and luckily you had almost a polar opposite friend in Natasha to level you out.
“We just survived another week of finals,” she states, and grabbing your arms to stop you for just one second, “what better way to celebrate than partying?”
She sees the conflicted look in your eyes, and can tell you’re weighing out the pros and cons. There were a lot of cons: you’d be surrounded by tons of people, most of which were going to be drunk as fuck or high out of their minds on whatever substance was passed around and the threat of getting taken advantage of by some stranger. The pros? You had some steam to let off and this was a chance to gather and see some of your other friends before the Holiday break. ‘Tis the season, right?
“I guess you’re right,” you start, beginning to compromise, “why not? It’ll be like a little send off,” you decide, throwing in a shrug, and that was it.
“We’re college kids, it’s our right,” Natasha shrugs, before digging into one of your boxes and pulling out one of your cute dresses. You could always count on her to help look good too.
When you both take the short walk to the house, where tonight’s party would be taking place, you abruptly halt at the end of the front porch steps, breaking your locked arms with Natasha.
“Jesus, what’s wrong?” She curses lightly as she almost trips backwards.
“This house…” you start, taking a step back and look up to inspect it, squinting, as if that would do you any good in the dark.
“Yeah?” She asks, a little too impatient, obviously hiding something.
“It’s familiar,” you continue, still trying to find out why it was so. Usually, that wasn’t a good thing...
“Come on. What are you talking about? It’s just a house. Don’t think too much and have fun tonight!” She says, stomping back down the steps and grabbing your arm to drag you up towards the front door.
“I guess you’re right,” you say, giving up again. What were you so worried about?
“Aren’t I always?” She comments, and is, again, quick to shut you down when she sees you open your mouth. She presses her finger to the doorbell just as your mouth closes, and you both await the host.
You look off to the side and stare at the Greek letters tacked onto the wall. You knew you weren’t going to let it go on trying to find out why this house looked so familiar. Then, just when you’ve figured it out, your eyes widen in realization, the grip around your arm intertwined with Natasha’s tightens, feeling your attempt to slip away. The door swings open and the voice that booms out of the person, verifies your answer.
“Well, well, well...the weather outside sure is frightful, but this,” Bucky Barnes starts out singing before looking only in your direction, “oh, seeing you, is so delightful,” ending in a somewhat serious note.
“God, I hate winter,” you comment off to the side. It earns you a jab from Natasha, silently asking you to play nice.
He greets Natasha and easily lets her slip past him into the house. You call out her name, appalled that she left you alone with Bucky. Wasn’t that some rule? Never leave your friends alone at a Frat party.
“You look beautiful,” Bucky says sincerely when it’s just the two of you, to which you don’t respond, but roll your eyes. You didn’t come here to get seduced or hit on, but nonetheless shiver, and logically you could blame it on the cold weather and not the way that comment from him made you feel, then attempt to get inside the warm house.
"Excuse me,” he says, holding out his arms on either side of the door frames, blocking your entrance both ways, “where is my Christmas kiss?“ he asks, leaning in close to you.
“What the hell are you talking about?” You ask incredulously and back away. You owed him no such thing, but when you see the sly smirk on his lips, and his head signal for you to look up, you discover a traditional mistletoe hanging right above your heads.
Bringing your head back to its regular position, you look him dead in the eyes, “I’m not going to kiss you under the mistletoe, Barnes,” you scoff at his attempt to smooch you.
“Why not?” He presses, shuffling his weight from one leg onto the other, and before you can even give him an answer, you both hear your name being shouted from behind him. Bucky whips his head back and you do your best to look over his shoulder.
It came from your friend Wanda, who was excitedly waving you over to her. You smile and wave back at her, internally grateful that luck was on your side at this moment. Bucky turns back around and stares at you, wondering how to pick back up on your conversation, but when he doesn’t come up with anything, he sighs defeatedly, drops his arms and finally lets you in.
You make your way over to Wanda engulfing her with a huge hug. Natasha was close by, sipping on her drink. You’ll grill her later for leaving you alone with Bucky. She knew not to do that, but she did it at every chance she got. Now, you knew why she brought you to this specific house party.
“You weren’t planning on leaving without a proper farewell, were you?” Wanda asked worriedly. You immediately pieced together that Natasha had ratted you out on your attempt to leave campus and head back home early.
“It’s not forever, Wan,” you assure her. It was literally only for a few weeks, but while everyone would probably only be a few hours away from each other or a few states apart different, Wanda would be flying back to her home country to spend the Holidays with her family. You’ll admit, you could’ve been a little more considerate and sensitive.
“I’ll still miss you,” she says, the admission melting your heart, not even thinking about how the separation would be on others.
“She’s right, it’s not forever,” Natasha interjects, not allowing for any sad vibes on your last few hours of the semester together, “let’s make some memories tonight,” she says before handing you a drink.
Bucky, as hard as he tried to cover it up, rejoins his group of friends, Steve and Sam, sulking. He’d gotten you alone again, but failed, and he vowed to never give up. He had a crush on you, simple as that, but you were playing hard to get, and all this time spent on playing cat and mouse when you could be doing other things.
“Man, just save yourself from any further embarrassment and give up,” Sam tells him while also handing him a drink of his own, which Bucky accepts and quickly takes a swig from.
“Never,” he said, determined and slightly winces at the burn in his throat, his body almost warming in an instant, “I’m gonna get my Holiday kiss.”
“Why do you even care? You’re usually not one behind this Holiday shit,” he asks, looking around the crowded room.
“I’m not, but it gives me a reason to get close to her,” Bucky admits pathetically, staring into the red solo cup before taking the last swig, crushing it in his hand and air balling it to the trash.
“Dude!” Steve chastises him about adding onto the mess they’d have to clean afterwards, to which Bucky shrugs at.
“You can’t expect her to just kiss anyone under the mistletoe,” Steve reminds him. He knew it wasn't an easy conquest for any guy to gain your affection.
“I’ve been a good boy this year, alright, I’m gonna get her to see what she’s been looking for has been in front of her this whole time,” Bucky says trying not to sound or look as predatory as he watched you disappear into the kitchen with your friends.
You suppose the saying rules were meant to be broken, were taken a bit too literal by your friends, even college party rules because you’re left alone again. Wanda had abandoned the trio for some alone time with her boyfriend, who everyone dubbed Vision or Vis for short due to how outrageously innovative he was. Natasha decided to partake in a classic game of beer pong, something you incredibly sucked at, so there was no way she was going to recruit you as her partner nor were you interested in standing there awkwardly watching the game go on.
Surprisingly, the only place that seemed to be of a quiet enough spot to think was the backyard patio. You could see there was a fire lit and some other students scattered or sprawled on the grass. Quickening your pace, you manage to claim a vacant lawn chair next to the fire and hope you’d stay warm and at peace.
There you start to think that being in attendance tonight would’ve made no difference. Natasha was just good at persuading you into things. Call it peer pressure or whatever, but you put your faith and trust in her to not believe she’d ever steer you in the wrong direction, so why were you so bothered being here?
“You know, refusing to kiss someone under the mistletoe is bad luck,” you hear the voice of the reason why.
“I don’t believe in that bullshit,” you respond, watching as he plops down on the empty seat next to you.
“Really? Then why haven’t you been out on a date in so long?” he asks tauntingly.
“How would you know?” You ask a bit offended.
Why was he so concerned about your love life? You were never close with Bucky growing up and if anyone was of an impression you were, it was only because of Steve, who welcomed everyone, and that included you when you moved into the neighborhood when you were a little girl.
All throughout elementary school, until things started developing, puberty probably, it further separated you from Bucky. Steve blossomed a little later in life, so it helped solidify a good friendship with him, the same couldn’t be said for Bucky. You didn’t hate him, just got annoyed by his harmless teasing.
“I’ll have you know I have other priorities,” your attempt at an excuse was subtle, but you didn’t owe him an explanation anyways.
“Sure,” he says in a tone that suggests he didn’t believe you.
You watch as he lights up a cigarette, takes a small drag, and the cloud of smoke puffing out from his lips. He notices your stare and digs into his coat pocket, fishing out the pack before offering you one. You accept and pluck one out of the carton, he follows up with sticking out his lighter and you lean in closer to him to place the end of your stick against the flame.
You weren’t going to deny the relieving effect the nicotine had running through your body. College was stressful and while you weren’t one to abuse substances, a hit every now and then helped calm your nerves.
“So why is it you won’t kiss anyone under the mistletoe?” He asks, leaning back on the plastic chair, his head turning to the side, full attention on you.
He was enchanted by the girl, who grew up into a beautiful young woman, sitting next to him, slowly killing herself with every inhale and exhale of the cigarette between her lips, but you weren’t just attractive to Bucky, you were every bit incredible to him. You were smart, helpful, loyal to your friends and he was just misguided sometimes in life that led you to astray from him.
“It’s just an excuse for guys to steal a kiss from some poor girl...for lonely people to fake love,” you said almost bitterly.
Truth was, you had a bitter experience with a guy who’d led you on in high school after accidentally hearing that he could bet his friends he could get you to make out with him and he’d do so by using a mistletoe as a ruse.
Bucky detected some distaste in your response but decides not to interrogate you on it any further. There’d been a lot of growing up between the two of you since you’d both been estranged during your teenage years, and certain life events were missed on either party. So, where did you both stand in each other's lives now? You weren’t sure if you could call each other friends. It wasn’t easy to avoid Bucky, what with all the mutual friends and classes you shared, including the same street back home.
“I didn’t throw this party just to see everyone before they leave or to celebrate the end of finals,” he reveals, after several, somber minutes of silence, the cigarettes in your hands quickly burning out.
“Then why did you?” You ask curiously, meeting his gaze.
“To see you,” he simply admits. It was vague.
“How’d you even know I’d show up?” You quiz him.
“Because I begged Natasha to convince you,” he freely says, exposing his plan.
You were a smart person, but you couldn’t figure Bucky out. Why would he do that? Or for that matter, say something like that. What was his endgame here?
“Tis the fuckin’ season,” you comment offhand, getting up from the seat to leave. You stomp out your cigarette and prepare to head back inside and bid your farewells.
You’re just about to step through the threshold, when you feel a large hand wrap around your arm, halting you in place in the middle of the sliding screen door.
“Am I really that bad?” He inquires, and you know he’s not asking about just kissing him under the mistletoe anymore. Bucky always wore his heart on his sleeve, no matter how tough he appeared to be. It fooled a lot of people, sometimes you included, but in this moment, he seemed to genuinely be concerned about your perspective about him.
You were too grown to blame how the course of your relationship with Bucky had gone south on silly teenage phases. You knew it was much deeper than that, it was how sad it made you feel.
You’d harbored a small crush on him back then and it was cruel to see him grow into a handsome, charming guy and go out with other girls. He never showed an interest in you in the past and it was getting exhausting trying to get his attention, it was proving to be a distraction in your life, so it was then you’d vowed to focus on yourself and the life ahead of you, a life that didn’t revolve or involve Bucky.
However, a part of you, the risky and impulsive part of you, said you had less than a handful of months left before you were set to walk the stage and graduate. If you did what you were about to do, you could avoid Bucky for just one more semester, then you’d move far, far away and most likely never see him again. With a quick glance up, you give in to the idea of this side of you, lean in and plant your lips on Bucky’s soft ones.
Bucky is left dumbfounded, eyes still half closed when you pull away. He was shocked, caught off guard, and you by a totally different notion. You like him, you’ve always liked him.
It was a decent kiss if anyone would’ve caught it, at least you hoped it appeared it was, and that Bucky could convince you of it being so…
“You said kissing under the mistletoe is for lonely people to fake love...so then why do I feel so alive?” he asks you in a daze.
He doesn't succeed in convincing you.
How you’d both managed to move past that scene at the doorway without raising suspicion was beyond you two. The fact you both found a vacant room was an even more impressive feat at the moment.
“You better have locked that door,” you say, attempting to make it sound like a threat, but with you underneath him, you were anything but.
Shoes scattered along the pathway to the bed, his thick jacket following in suit. You’d managed to pull your lips back from his, but he couldn’t keep his off of yours as they trailed from the corner of your lips, along your jawline and down your neck. You feel his tongue drag just along your pulse, causing your hips to thrust up. You let out a moan at what you felt through his jeans and how he started sucking and nibbling over the spot he’d licked.
“Why? Don’t want everyone finding out how naughty you actually are?” He questions back teasingly with a cocky grin, and as he tugs at the sleeves of his unbuttoned shirt.
You don’t have a comeback for him, but instead you lightly shove him back and try to escape from underneath, hoping to get through to him and show you’re in fact serious. The last thing you wanted was for any of your friends to walk in on you two in the act.
“Relax!” He says, also sitting up and reaching out and pulling you back to him, “I locked it,” he assures, leaning in closer, “not even Santa will know what we’re doing,” then his lips reclaim yours, his tongue delving in your mouth. You’re once more on your back, lips locked and heavy. Had you known kissing Bucky was this good, you’d have kissed him earlier.
Bucky’s hands run up your thighs, snake their way underneath, you feel his fingers ghost over your scantily clad pussy. The tingling sensation causes the feeling in the pit of your stomach to brew.
“You want me to touch you?” He asks huskily while still pecking your lips.
“Yes,” you almost immediately answer, desperate for his touch.
“How bad?” Oh, he knows how bad, but he had so much fun watching you crumble.
“Bucky,” you start to whine.
“Tell me...how bad do you want me to touch you,” he repeats slowly.
“Fuck you,” you bite back. He was really going to make you say it, “I want you to touch me so bad...please, Bucky,” you quickly give in.
Bucky rewards you with a deep kiss as you feel him hook a finger on the thin slit of your panties and pull them to the side. He runs a long finger between your folds, and he pulls his lips away to inhale sharply.
“You’re so wet,” he states the obvious, bringing that same hand up to his lips to lick the pad of his thumb so he could start rubbing circles on your clit. You bite your lip and stare at him, he’s watching you carefully, loving how hard you’re trying to hold back.
“You want to be a good girl?” He asks, and you nod, “then don’t hold back. Stop fighting me, and I’ll make you come hard with just my fingers,” he bargains. You want to call him on his bluff, but he’s the one with the upper hand - literally. “But first…,” he starts, sitting up on his knees, hands back at his sides so he could scoot down lower on the bed, “...I want to taste this pussy,” his voice deep, and almost dangerous.
He pushes the end of your dress up, bunching it at the waist, to reveal your cute underwear. He pauses for a split second, “Holiyay indeed” he says to himself, reading the embezzled design on the front of your thong. You don’t even roll your eyes in annoyance anymore, because maybe if you kept quiet and submissive enough, you’ll finally get to come.
When he rids you of the garment, Bucky uses his fingers to spread your wet lips before running his tongue flat against it, only narrowing out when it reaches your clit. He spends a little more time at your there, circling it with his tongue, lightly kissing and sucking at it. His fingers start rubbing you, tracing the rim of the opening, while his mouth was still busy at work.
You're all but writhing from the buildup, your chest heaving up and down, stomach clenching tight from his doing, not prepared for when he inserts a finger inside your wet hole. You audibly gasped and reached a hand towards him, but he swats it away. You dare pick your head up to watch, and you’re met with his eyes, full of lust, looking up at you, but his mouth still latched onto your pussy. You can feel his finger slide in and out of you slowly, your mouth open displaying how good he’s making you feel.
In fact, it’s too good you’re not in control of your legs anymore as they kick and squirm at the feeling he’s bestowing on you, so he removes his finger away from you only to maneuver into a position where he could hook his arms under legs and basically slam your back down on the bed. You unconsciously start chanting his name, like a silent prayer for him to touch you down there again.
Your head is a little fuzzy, body on fire; you want to burst. Unable to pick up your head, you cast your eyes down on him just in time to see him spit on your already soaking cunt. You watch as he uses his fingers to spread the wetness all over before slipping two fingers inside of you.
The intrusion causes you to groan and back to arch, and you can’t help but grab at any part of the arm that his hand going to work on you, just making sure it doesn't go away until it gets the job done. He chuckles lightly at your eagerness with your hips bucking up at his palm.
“I promised I’d let you come, right?” He points out, which you nod fervently, loosen your grip and attempt to keep your hips at bay, so he could fulfill his promise. You feel his finger push in about knuckle-deep and curl inside, causing you to choke out a dry sob. You begin to bite your lip, hard, when he does it again and again.
Your hands are on autopilot, trying to heighten the pleasure your body was being coursed with, and they grab handfuls of your breasts, still confined in your dress. You squeeze and squish them together, anything to help you find that release sooner. Bucky’s gaze catches onto your moves and licks at his lips, the sight of your breasts threatening to spill out offers him a taste of what’s still yet to be unwrapped.
He speeds up his efforts, they’re proven efficient as you start clenching tight around his fingers, your arousal also coating the palm of his hand. He whispers tiny praises as you try to recover from the first orgasm. You swallow the lump in your throat and run your hands over your face, almost dazed and bewildered that Bucky was capable of pulling something like that out of you.
Your legs fall limp on the bed, the silence broken by Bucky, “such a sweet pussy,” he compliments, and you take a peek between your fingers to see his fingers pop out of his mouth from sucking his digits clean.
“Do you want to unwrap your gift?” He asks, crawling over to you. You manage to sit up, your body supported by your propped elbows, so Bucky is slightly hovering over you. You nod at his question and he brings one hand behind your head to swoop you in for a sweet kiss. You use both hands to hold his face in place to make the kiss last just a little longer.
Bucky reluctantly pulls away though so he could grab at the bunched fabric of your dress and pull it over your head, leaving you completely bare in front of him. He swears, eyes running over every part of you before sitting upright on his knees again.
You lean in and reach with both hands to unbuckle his belt, the clinking of metal sounding loud, button popping off in haste, and dragging the zipper down. You yank down at his fitted jeans to reveal the imprint of his hard cock under his boxer briefs. Fuck, he was big, that much you could see. You couldn’t keep your grabby hands away as you palm him through the fabric, his cock twitching at the indirect contact.
“Take it out,” he instructs, and you look up perilously at him, eyes begging him to confirm, “...it’s yours, baby girl,” and it was all the assurance you needed to peel his boxers down.
You wrap your hands around his length and start pumping him languidly. He was already hard and no doubt fully erect, but you immediately found how good it felt in your hands. With every pump, his pre-cum pools at the head, and with each trip your hands make up to the tip, they travel back down with the substance, effectively lathering him up and making him slick enough for an easy entry.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” he admits when you give his member an experimental squeeze, your fingers curl around him, the tips grazing along his balls.
Leaning in to place light kisses to his pecs, you look up at him, “well, you’ve been a good boy, so do it,” you say, hands retreating as you lie back down, “...fuck me, Bucky.”
Bucky lets out a low growl, kicks his bottoms away, and climbs back on top of you. He reaches down to grab his cock and starts running it up and down the length of your sex, causing your body to shudder. You could feel the ridges and just how hard he got before he slowly slid his cock inside. There’s a tiny sting on his entrance as his thick cock stretches your walls.
“Mmm, baby, it’s cold outside,” he starts playfully singing, “...but you, you’re so warm,” kissing your cheek, getting you to relax; not realizing you had held your breath trying to bear through the initial pain, “...and so wet,” he says pulling out with a lewd noise, before thrusting all the way back in, bottoming out.
He starts off sweet and slow, and while you liked that on some occasion, now wasn’t one of them. Bucky’s cock probed at your spot almost instantly and you found out you didn’t want to prolong the euphoric ending. His hands slip around your smaller frame, pulling your body up, closer to his, while his hips moved in waves crashing harder and harder into yours.
His face buried into the mattress next to your face, you hear his breathy moans, and you love that he doesn’t hold them back the slightest. Who didn’t like to hear how good the other person was making them feel, right? You grip and pull at his hair, while the other gabs at his buttocks, feeling it flex with each snap of his hips, and your legs tangled with his. Sweat that had built up on your bodies make the movements sloppy, muscles beginning to ache, both of you were about to peak.
“God, you feel so good,” he says, picking his head up, his hair matted and messy, he still looked sexy, “...you gonna come all over my cock now?” His words fuel you and your hips start driving into his, making him eat his own words, “fuck, baby, you’re gonna make me cum!”
“Yes, Bucky,” you coo, your hands gripping his sides, loving the feeling of his hard body, slick and warm to the touch, “...come,” you try coaxing him, but one particular thrust rips right through you and your walls start clenching him tighter than the fit.
You only finish the command when you’re riding the waves of the aftershock, “come on, Bucky, I want it...inside, please.” You definitely picked up on the fact that he liked to hear you beg and be specific with your wants.
Bucky soon stills, spurts of his hot cum splatter your walls that continue to flutter around his cock. His climax spreads warmth all over your lower body. Your limbs, both arms and legs, wrap around his exhausted body. He carefully drops his bodyweight on you, mindful of not suffocating you in the process.
When he’s regained regular breathing, using one of his hands, he reaches behind him in search of yours before interlocking your fingers and just holding it, you hold onto each other. Bucky picks up his head and stares at your hand in his, you follow his gaze and join him. They fit with one another perfectly, and even so, the light squeeze he gives it, lets you know it also felt right.
“Well, where have you two been?” Sam says loudly, announcing you and Bucky’s arrival, rejoining your group of friends. Wanda and Vision close to each other, his arm around her frame, Natasha standing in between Sam and Steve, a refilled cup in each of their hands.
“I have been trying to escape this crazed man all night,” you playfully exaggerate.
“And yet you’ve managed to keep failing,” Bucky chimes in smugly, a cute smirk running across his features. This unearthed feeling testing your willpower to keep up with appearance and show resistance.
“Yeah, no thanks to my so-called friends,” pinning the blame on the two females in the room. Wanda turns red, guilty and slightly awful for abandoning you, but Natasha has a different reaction. She’s got that knowing smile on her face. It’s small, but very strong.
You watch as her eyes divert to the ceiling, you follow her gaze and then when you both look back at each other, the smile on her face turns into a full-blown smirk. There’s a collective sound of “oh’s” from everyone, noting the mistletoe above you and Bucky.
Turning to Bucky, who looks like he doesn’t know what to do, just stands there staring at you, not knowing what to expect. You’re supposed to act like nothing happened or reveal anything to your friends just yet, so he mentally prepares for a rebuttal to your impending rejection or insult to kiss him. Nothing could’ve prepared him for what you do instead.
You place a hand on the back of his neck and pull him down to you and smash your lips together. Bucky’s hands immediately grab a hold of your hips, he’d have to get used to the lightheaded feeling when he’s close to you.
The kiss is slow and probably not appropriate to be deemed as a simple traditional mistletoe kiss, but you both can’t help it and continue to allow your lips to slide against one another’s before there’s a rise of cheers, whistling and howls around you, shattering the bubble.
When you pull apart, you reluctantly walk away from Bucky and head to where Natasha stood, steal the cup from her hand and finish off the remainder of her drink, all while staring straight at her. She knew. Only when you’re done with the last sip, you give her the same small, sly smile. There are no words exchanged, and none needed.
“Guess, you have been a good boy this year, Barnes,” Sam jokes, but regardless is proud of his friend.
“Third time's the charm,” Bucky says casually, shrugging like it was no big deal, as if he hadn’t been desperately chasing you all night. You shake your head at his silliness, but nonetheless smile at him, your heart skipping a bit.
Who knew what you’d been looking for was hanging underneath the doorway staring at you face-to-face this whole time?
A/N: I can confidently say, I used one of these Christmas puns as a pickup line on a guy recently and it worked in my favor! Shoot your shot but stay safe in more than one way; these are them trying times. Also, the underwear thing is a real design I saw while looking through Victoria’s Secret sales…lol.
🎁 Gift me a like, reblog, comment - anything, please! 🥺💖
#mrwinterr writes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfic#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan smut#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan fanfic#college!bucky barnes#college!bucky#college!au
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Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.
Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.
And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.
Ok so this got long...
Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.
The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.
Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.
Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.
I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.
If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.
This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.
GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.
Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.
But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.
I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:
You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.
"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."
No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.
Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.
When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."
"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.
But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.
And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.
That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.
#yes i wrote this whole thing because i actually love the ‘if they are monsters so am i’ quote and i’m trying to push my agenda on others#jk i spend like half a minute in an anti dany blog and i was like. war#but i don’t regret it so#daenerys targaryen#stormborn#pro daenerys#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#meta#my meta
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Breaking Down The Classic Rom-Com
I feel like I haven’t written a fun post in a hot sec so lets talk about one of my favorite subjects: Rom Coms
According to wikipedia, a Rom Com, also known as Romantic Comedy, is “a subgenre of comedy and slice-of-life fiction, focusing on lighthearted, humorous plot lines centered on romantic ideas, such as how true love is able to surmount most obstacles.” In the past, Romantic Comedies have also been called “Chick Flicks” but I think this is devaluing of both women and the romantic comedy genre.
The other day, I woke up to find that the most wholesome rom-com couple of all time reunited: Matty & Jenna (Aka Mark Ruffalo & Jennifer Garner). This got me thinking about the beauty of the Rom-Com and how unappreciated they can be. It has been years since we have seen a rom-com with the cultural impact of 13 Going on 30, and I would like to petition for more of them after a sad and painful year.
I can already hear the millions (in my head this blog is extremely popular) of comments “What about To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?!?” “What about The Kissing Booth?!?” And too that I say, "Good Riddance!” If you’re rating your rom coms on a TATBILB scale, or even WORSE The Kissing booth, I feel sorry for you. Truly I do. So let's dive into the best Rom Coms of all time, but first...
What makes a Rom-Com good? Well let's start with a relatable as hell main character. I am talking a girl (sometimes guy), who has many flaws, but the audience can see themselves within her/him. Let's use Jenna Rink from 13 Going On 30 as an example. Well, she's literally a 13 year old in a 30 year olds body, but don’t we all still have a preteen hiding inside of all of us? She is 100% willing to be herself at every step, even if that means dancing thriller all alone. She touches on all of our insecurities, while teaching us how to break down our walls.
Rom-Coms also need characters to make realistic choices. This does not mean that the movie itself is realistic, but rather than you can understand the choices the characters make. Again, 13 going on 30 does a fabulous job of this. Obviously, Jenna traveling in time because of wishing powder is not realistic, but the choices that her and her past self make are. Due to the insecurities of her childhood and a need to feel included, relevant, and powerful Jenna pushes important people out of her life, which happens to so many people in the real world. These decisions force her to miss out on the love of her life, and ultimately, the story ends sadly: the love of her life marries someone else and she is left with tears, wishing powder, and an old doll house. That is until she is able to travel back in time and change the course of her life.
Lastly, Every classic Rom-Com couple needs to have chemistry. There. I said it. Hollywood loves just casting random famous actors without giving them a proper chemistry read. One great example of this is Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel in Safe Haven. Both fun, famous, Hollywood actors who have zero chemistry. Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner had more chemistry throwing back Razzles than those two did during an intimate sex scene.
Alright, now that we have broken down the requirements of a Romantic Comedy, let's jump into the best and worst of all time.
Best: When Harry Met Sally. 9/10. A classic. A tale as old as time. Both Sally & Harry are very flawed, yet relatable characters. Sally is too picky and particular, while Harry is a player. They both suck at relationships, but make rational decisions based on their motivations. We all have friends like these two and their chemistry is on point, both on a friendship and romantic level. They bounce off of one another splendidly.
Worst: Sleepless in Seattle. 1/10 I know, this is a strong take, but this is a terrible movie about a stalker. Meg Ryan (I don’t even remember her character's name) is the stupidest most unrelatable character I have seen in a long time. She is extremely unlovable, cheats on her SO emotionally, and flies across the country to stalk a man that she has never met before. And then you’re telling me that Tom hanks FALLS FOR HER? Nope. No. I refuse to except this. Plus, their chemistry in this is pretty mediocre (You’ve Got Mail is Way Better) and we only get to see them together once.
Best: 10 Things I Hate About You. 8/10. I was tempted to leave all high School Rom-Coms off this list, but Heath Ledger is my exception. Talk about likability. Kat is a strong, powerful, independent woman who learns how to be more vulnerable while still being a feminist badass. We all wanted to be Kat growing up. Meanwhile Heath Ledger is the classic bad boy with a soft side, and who wasn’’t into that? Both characters grow into new people throughout the movie making them relatable, complex, and realistic. Not to mention the angel that is Joseph Gordon Levitt, who keeps the audience up beat and smiling throughout the course of this Shakespeare tale
Best: My Big fat Greek Wedding. 10/10. Have you seen this film recently? Because it is an absolute DELIGHT and so relatable. It dives into the difficulty of family expectation and cultures merging. It also has the cutest proposal of all time with a realistic couple that fights for one another on a daily basis. You laugh. You cry. You get a dynamic cast with wonderful chemistry. You feel invested in the family and the relationship. Just a joyful wonderful film.
Worst: Something Borrowed. 0/10. If you’ve never seen this movie, don’t. Ginnifer Goodwin sleeps with her best friends fiancé and we’re supposed to be okay with it because she liked him first. Hard pass. And she ignores John Krazinski who is right in front of her. She is unlikable, unreliable, and makes dumb decisions that no one else would.
Best: He’s just not that into you. 9/10 I will go to bat for this movie. It follows several realistic storylines in a Love Actually manor, except they actual seem legit. A woman realizing her boyfriend is never going to marry her. A girl facing the fact that maybe some guys just aren’t that into her, and she isn’t an exception to the rule. A man slowly making the decision to cheat on his wife as they are growing apart. A woman realizing that she is worth way more than her bastard husband. A woman realizing that the person she’s sleeping with will never leave his wife for her. It's compelling, has realistic characters that we can relate to, and still warms your heart in the end.
Best: The Big Sick. 8/10. Okay to be fair, this is based on a true story so it automatically has realistic characters and decisions. Maybe I should leave this off of the list, but I wish this film got the recognition it deserves. Two lovable main characters who make mistakes that are understandable. Wonderful chemistry between Kumail and his girlfriend as well as her family.
Best: About Time. 11/10 This is hands down the best Rom-Com of all time and Potentially the best film of all time as well. If you don’t cry in this movie you do not have a heart or soul. The characters are SO insanely likable and adorable.It touches on the importance of family and valuing time and how little of it we have. The chemistry within the whole cast is palpable, and we can all relate to at least one character, whether it is the protagonist Tim, his wife Mary, his sister Kit-Kat, or his father.
Well it is important to point out the obvious here: this list is lacking diversity in a huge way. All but one of these movies follow a cis, straight, white couple, and that is extremely concerning. People have attempted to make more diverse rom-coms over the past few years, but they all seem to be lacking one of the three core components of what makes a rom-com great: Relatable, realistic, and great chemistry. For example. Crazy Rich Asians was a fantastic film, but the high level of wealth that Nick Young comes from, made his character difficult to relate to, and I’m sorry but the chemistry just wasn’t there for me. Always Be My Maybe’s characters fell flat and it’s not a film I would want to watch more than once. Love Simon made some huge waves for LGBTQ representation in the media, but that ending kiss was unrealistic along with his friends reaction to fining out he was lying, which left the movie anti-climactic by the end.
Now, the most recent film on this list was made in 2017. And before that 2013. So where have all the Rom Coms gone? Why don’t we see more of them. There are a few Rom Coms that could be contenders on the “Best” list from the last couple of years that include a small amount of diversity:
Yesterday 7/10. The big question here is does this count as a romantic comedy? The love story isn’t the main plot, but is definitely a large sub-plot. This movie features an interracial couple and is highly re-watchable. The main characters are entertaining, relatable, and have pretty good chemistry. We will see if it stands the test of time.
The Broken Hearts Gallery 7/10. This movie has gotten NO recognition. The main character, Lucy, is an extremely likable 20 something, not unlike our Ginnifer Goodwin in He’s Just not that Into You. The plot is fun and predictable but keeps you watching. I don’t know if this one will stay on my list long, but it’s definitely up there.
But here is my challenge to Hollywood: create some new, beautiful Rom Coms that celebrate diversity but that don’t throw away the relatable, realistic, and high chemistry characters that we are just waiting to fall in love with. It’s got like 16 ideas up my sleeve, so just give me a call Hollywood.
#rom com#romantic comedy#13 going on 30#when harry met sally#sleepless in seattle#my big fat greek wedding#10 things i hate about you#something borrowed#he's just not that into you#the big sick#about time#yesterday#The broken hearts gallery
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Skwisgaar's Psychology
After rewatching Metalocalypse a total of three times ever since the news of the potential finale movie I kind of had a realization; I really fucking love Skwisgaar. I also started by halfway through rewatch two realized that his story and background and general psychology is really fucking fascinating to me.
So I am going to do my best to discuss his character and his psychology and how we see him progress through the show....I already did this with Toki a while back and kind of would love to do it with Murderface and maybe Pickles as well, I'd say Nathan, but he's the....least fucked up in a sense.
Skwisgaar let's start has the most dialogue in the first couple of seasons of the show and even then it isn't overwhelming compared to the other members of the band. By season four he speaks very little and rarely.
When we are introduced to him in the beginning of the show he seems to be like the rest of the group; a diva spoiled rich rocker who has been grossly wealthy for so long that he's forgotten how to function as a human.
You also with the first season especially have this running gag that isn't even a running gag that Skwisgaar or Toki will say something weird and then the other will add onto it and they just say weird shit about life and death or the violence of man, it's weird, and strangely endearing.
Which speaking of how those two play off each other brings me to the fact the pilot episode immediately establishes that these two are almost always together. The band goes to a grocery store and everybody splits up, except for Skwisgaar and Toki who go off together when in all reality that isn't remotely necessary. We also learn in that first episode that Skwisgaar gets pissed when Toki teases him and calls him a woman despite Skwisgaar calling him one like a second earlier and also that Skwisgaar is sexually attracted to elderly women.
Two things are heavily associated with Skwisgaar as a character; he is extremely sexually active and he's got his guitar with him in 99% of scenes. Skwisgaar also doesn't appear to be the most talkative, he can be bitchy and throw tantrums like the rest of his bandmates, but also seems to be more prone to crying and becoming anxious or worried for his friends and their wellbeing/safety, in terms of socializing he seems to be a bit awkward and seems the most comfortable communicating through sex and music. He's teasing and can be a dick, but there's no real edge to it. He also while seeming in some regards to be a bit....dumb to be blunt about it seems to actually be rather smart, though often seems to just keep that to himself probably because he knows who his friends are and they aren't prone to listening to people.
Season one wasted no time in introducing the band's parents and this included Skwisgaar's mother, Serveta. One thing that I do find super interesting is that he is the only member of the band who comes from a single mother, technically it isn't interesting, but the theory (probably canon) that their fathers aren't really their fathers at all and that their mothers became pregnant by the Deth Star makes it interesting. To me at least.
With Skwisgaar's mom in regards to the first season of the show we quickly learn that their relationship is strained. She's an older woman who just like Skwisgaar is very sexually active, we see her come onto Nathan's father who is married and sitting with his wife and son, Skwisgaar's reaction to this is to get upset and begin frantically playing his guitar. Skwisgaar spends a good portion of this episode drinking and at one point saying that ever since his mom got there his stomach had been hurting and he'd just been feeling like absolute shit. When we see him bonding with his mom he's brushing her hair and looking like he'd rather be dead or any place else, seeing him helping her groom is weirdly a red flag to me.
We learn by the third season of the show that his mother is intensely vain and in love with herself, she resents Skwisgaar because being pregnant with him and giving birth to him ruined her 'perfect' body and I'm sure the years where he was too young to fend for himself annoyed her because it meant she couldn't party or have men over or run off whenever she wanted, something I get the feeling that changed when he was about ten years of age. In a bonus video that comes with the first season of the show you see interviews with the band on various random topics; one of the scenes that is...uncomfortable to say the least is when family is brought up. Skwisgaar begins to say something, but trails off and becomes visibly upset before saying he's just going to shut down for a while, Toki confesses some more physical abuse before also shutting down.
I'm going to take a guess that Skwisgaar only had his mother when he was growing up and she only had him, I'm sure she has parents and maybe even siblings and aunts and uncles, but it appears that she has absolutely no relationship with them and Skwisgaar most probably never met these people.
The walls of Serveta's home sport dozens of headshots of herself and a couple of pictures of Skwisgaar as a kid thrown up by the front door almost as an after thought. It's likely and most probable that Skwisgaar was thrusted into the position of caretaker and even a husband sort of position when it came to his relationship with his mom; given the task of looking after her, holding her hair back when she pukes after a night of drinking, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. We know when he was about ten or thirteen years old he came home from school to find his mom having sex with two men, an event that scared him and led to him being chased by wolves and falling into a pit where if he weren't a demi-god he legit would have died. I feel like his mom reached a point with him where she stopped caring whether or not he saw her....personal life, perceiving him as an adult despite still just being a boy and also seeing him as somebody who is taking up space in her home and preventing her from having fun.
When she marries Tyr they're all over each other constantly....until Skwisgaar and Tyr become friends and begin spending time together, then she cheats on him. She was jealous that her latest man wasn't giving her constant attention and got angry at the concept of sharing him with her own child, which is super fucked up.
Skwisgaar throughout the show has a fake persona. He likes to pretend he in some way is like his mom; he likes to pretend he has his head up his own ass and doesn't need anybody but himself, he loves himself more than he could ever love another person. Which isn't true. At all.
I think that growing up with a narcissistic parent who emotionally neglected and emotionally abused him put him in a position where he had to shut down like that. He had to learn at a very young age that crying and yelling and being angry gets nothing done except maybe piss his mom off more, after finding his guitar he threw himself into music and appeared to shut himself off socially, preferring music over human interactions.
Music is something that Skwisgaar can rely on no matter what happens; he will always have a guitar, he will always be able to create music even if it is just for himself and nobody else. People come and go, people physically hurt you, people emotionally hurt you, or make you feel worthless. When we see the flashback to the night Magnus was kicked out of Dethklok Skwisgaar is faded into the background, almost like a ghost with his slumped shoulders and his hair curtaining his face as if he wants to just disappear. When they're auditioning for a replacement Skwisgaar is positive he doesn't want somebody else in the band, that they are fine just being four.
I think it comes from the fact he was terrified of repeating what just happened with Magnus, finding somebody he might think he can bond with over music only for that person to turn into a monster who makes him feel like he can't even do the thing he loves more than anything correctly....Then Toki came in and when they had their duel it quickly turned from a competition into a conversation. Because that's the one way Skwisgaar knows how to communicate, the way he is the most comfortable with; he likes to communicate through guitar and finding somebody who he could speak to through music excited him.
It's clear for obvious age related reasons that Skwisgaar has/had a care taker role where Toki is concerned. I mean he was about 15/16 when Skwisgaar took him into the band so he was a literal child, even when he's older Skwisgaar still looks out for him and is in his own sense immensely protective where he's concerned. Skwisgaar is also that way with the rest of the band even if it's more subtle. He worries about his bandmates, if they get injured or nearly killed it bothers him and he doesn't want anything to happen to them. When the band is going to break up he completely shuts down, because admit to it or not they had become the only family he ever had. I think Skwisgaar is so hard wired from his childhood to care for people that it's something he can't shake and maybe with the band he doesn't feel its a bad habit, because unlike with his mom, his bandmates arent forcing him to look after them. It's something he does because he wants to do it.
Of course in regards to his attraction to older women that definitely comes from issues relating to his mother....I don't think it's in a creepy Freud way, but more so just wanting to feel cared for back. Very obviously he can't exactly approach any of his bandmates and ask for a hug....well except maybe Toki and Pickles if he's super drunk or high, but outside of those two instances....they aren't people he could exactly just ask for validation or comfort or consolation. They aren't....good with that shit. Older women though usually have a tendency to be coddling and kind, Skwisgaar probably learned that as a teen or in his twenties, I think it's less about the sex factor and just feeling important. In terms of sex with people closer to him in age (I will die on the hill that he's bisexual, because he keeps just throwing it out there that he would blow a guy and he had multiple three ways with Melmord) I think it's a distraction for the most part, he uses sex the same way he often uses music, and honestly....He grew up seeing his mother have men over constantly.
Skwisgaar didn't grow up seeing love or healthy relationships, he saw his mom parade various men through the house and maybe she kept some of them for a while and I doubt the relationships were healthy and I'm sure he knew that his mother didn't love any man she dated or married for a short while. Even in the show he isn't fond of love or marriage, the only time he dates somebody is when he moves back to Sweden and finally starts to get his life together in a more healthy sense and that relationship didn't feel like it was based on sex. It was based on physical and emotional affection and it was the only time Skwisgaar ever looked actually happy in terms of intimacy.
Sex is a job, a chore for him; he's the God of Life so it's technically what....it's y'know his thing, creating life. As a lot of people notice....he seems far more sexually active after him and Toki's second fight in regards to music and petty bull shit. Season four is essentially the season where Salacia gets what he wanted aka the band tearing itself apart and you can see them all fall apart individually. For Skwisgaar falling apart means closing himself off, throwing himself more into his guitar and more into sex. He becomes more of a tool and an object as if that's all he wants to be, because being a person who opens yourself up and lets people in and tries to care about people ends up with you being hurt, badly.
Which does bring things back to his super complicated slightly homoerotic to the point even the show had to mention it for a hot second relationship with Toki.
We can gather from Doomstar that Toki was far more into music when he first joined Dethklok which I think worked out great for Skwisgaar, because as I said before; Skwisgaar communicates through music and this gave him somebody that he could talk to without the awkwardness of verbally conversing.
Though that changed clearly and you can feel that Skwisgaar is bothered by it, like in some weird way it feels like a minor betrayal. Toki notoriously never practices or puts in a lot of effort in terms of making music which Skwisgaar often comments on, complains about, or gets on him about. Reasonable. Guitar is part of who he is, but at the end of the day a talent that made him rich, that's what it is to Toki.....Skwisgaar on the other hand his guitar is literally an extension of himself and seeing him without a guitar in his hand for longer than a single scene gets weird.
Still despite the two of them losing the art of communicating through their music....they're close. Super fucking close. If you watch Metalocalypse and tell yourself going into the show that you're going to focus heavily on a single character or on a certain relationship you notice a ton of shit. Like you notice that Toki and Skwisgaar almost always sit together, stand together, talk over one another, finish each others weird sentences or ideas, copy each other to the point they spend an entire episode bickering like children over copying each other, and often spend their time hanging out together. Again. They're really close as if they're a single person split into two.
They're close to the point that inverse their fans just to some extent assume the two of them are fucking and madly in love and I mean I'm gonna be honest just objectively speaking here I would not be surprised to find out they have had sex before at least once or more times. Just saying.
That aside though and just sticking to the platonic here....They're close, Toki means as much to Skwisgaar as guitar does, and that's saying a lot. One big reason I want to bring up their relationship is that his relationship with Toki brings to light Skwisgaar's issues with death or more specifically death where Toki is concerned.
In season one when Toki has a bit of a breakdown and Pickles suggest they kill him, Skwisgaar looks tense and uncomfortable and says that he doesn't like the idea because it's a lot and it makes him feel not so good. In a deleted scene where the band watch Nascar together Pickles ask Toki and Skwisgaar if they were supposed to be dead or in jail or something because it's the same episode where they got shit faced and got into a high speed chase. Skwisgaar when responding about it changes the word dead/death out for sleep, stating they were supposed to be put to sleep but just had to do community service instead (Toki corrects that it was jail, not being put to sleep). In the deleted IKEA scene when Toki stressed says maybe the two of them should just kill themselves Skwisgaar immediately freaks out and later when they return to Nathan and Murderface they both look super emotionally fucked up and when Nathan ask if they had been crying Toki gets defensive and says no while Skwisgaar beginning to cry again says they had been crying. Then of course after Toki ruins Skwisgaar's reputation and becomes Magnus Jr. for a few weeks and ends up having a panic attack and making an ass of himself....Skwisgaar thinks he's having a heart attack and freaks the fuck out terrified that he's dying.
Then finally for a compilation of Skwisgaar not handling Toki dying well; in Doomstar before they go in to save Toki Skwisgaar makes the sorrowful comment that sometimes he wonders if they should have stayed a one guitar band. It isn't him being a dick, he isn't saying this isn't worth it. He's saying essentially that Toki was stabbed, kidnapped and possibly murdered and it's completely his fault; if he hadn't taken Toki in then none of this would have happened. Which immediately leads me to believe that post the funeral episode that Skwisgaar spent those months high and drunk and late at night blaming himself for Toki being taken/murdered. That's a lot of blame to put onto yourself and to say its your fault solely because a few years ago you took this kid in off the streets is honestly heart breaking.
Early on in the series there's an episode where Toki's pissed that he isn't seen as Skwisgaar's musical equal, he wants solos, and Skwisgaar turns him down. Which through the series and within that episode itself we easily learn why Skwisgaar never gives him a solo; Toki has performance anxiety and he never practices and quite honestly knows almost nothing about guitar. It's valid. Either way in this particular episode Toki gets pissed and decides he wants to take lessons, Skwisgaar offers and Toki turns him down because last time they tried...he kind of just ended up beating the shit out of Skwisgaar. (to be fair don't dump a bucket of blood on your friend's head) So he goes off and finds an elderly man to teach him how to play guitar, Murderface being a dick decides to tell Skwisgaar that Toki is super good at guitar now and.....Skwisgaar doesn't react well. He gets pissed off and has nightmares about Toki becoming better than him. He even confronts Toki and his guitar teacher and threatens to kick him out of the band. When he realizes at the end of the episode that Toki is still....really not great with music....he's chill again, everything is forgiven.
I kind of think that episode is a reason people perceived Skwisgaar as a dick or is one reason, but honestly he isn't being a dick. I mean sure, a bit, but they're all dicks. The thing is guitar is a crutch for Skwisgaar, it is super important to him and he doesn't know who he is without his guitar, without his music. So somebody else threatening to take that from him freaks him out and he reacts poorly to it.
Then we get to near the end of the show when the same issue arises except completely different. Toki again later in the series ask Skwisgaar for a solo and Skwisgaar annoyed refuses him, Toki being the mild psycho shit that he is decides to just kind of ruin his life as revenge. Again by this point in the show its kind of obvious if you actually pay attention at all that Skwisgaar keeps telling him he can't have solos because Toki never fucking practices and even in the studio Skwisgaar has to record most of the rhythm guitar parts. He's also known since Toki's audition that the kid is prone to choking up and making mistakes, so he's technically protecting him without just outright confronting him.
Toki writes a book calling out Skwisgaar as an abusive tyrant and an over dramatic bitch. Admittedly Skwisgaar is a slight diva and just like the rest of them can be a total asshole, admittedly to a lesser degree than the others. What's really fucking interesting for me personally about this episode is that Skwisgaar is catatonic and depressed for 99% of it. He doesn't speak. This starts literally the second that Toki releases his book saying that Skwisgaar abuses him, this is before Skwisgaar's career goes down the toilet, his career hadn't been impacted by this yet.
Skwisgaar falls to pieces because Toki, Toki who he's known since he was just sixteen and took in off the streets and they're always practically attached at the hip and have been since day one just released a book calling him an abusive monster.
I do have a feeling one reason this fucked him up is because he might be terrified that he's turning into Magnus without realizing it, that perhaps he has become an abusive monster and has been making Toki feel the way that Magnus made him feel towards the end of his time in Dethklok. I think there also is probably something soul crushing about the person you love platonically or otherwise referring to you very publicly as abusive. Of course all of this worsens when Skwisgaar's career begins to fall to shit, eventually towards the end when Toki is at the top of his ego trip being a prick Skwisgaar does confront him, that in itself is interesting.
Skwisgaar goes in way calmer than I would be in that situation, sure he gets pissed off as they bicker, but again he's waaayyyy fucking calmer than anybody else would be especially since Toki just yells at him through the entire conversation. Of course interestingly is that Toki perceives Skwisgaar in a way that isn't entirely true, he thinks Skwisgaar mocks him and thinks of him as nothing which isn't true at all, when he says Skwisgaar laughed at him he just responds that he never did that and he sounds slightly hurt by that. They're both hurt and none of these men are good with healthy emotions. Skwisgaar never loses his shit on him in the entire conversation, he looks like he could easily go ape shit but instead warns him that the audience will eat him alive the second he fucks up.
Which turns out to be true, Toki fucks up and people begin turning against him which leads to him having a severe panic attack. Like I mentioned before Skwisgaar thinks he's dying and tries to save him, scared out of his fucking mind at the concept of Toki dying. Which....the dude just spent several weeks treating you like garbage and calling you a monster who abuses him, if Skwisgaar was actually a shitty person then he would have laughed at him or mocked him or given him shit about this moment for years to come....but he doesn't do any of that. He is worried about saving him, probably terrified that if Toki dies then their last conversation was a fight.
Their dynamic changes a lot after this, not in a way that's overly obvious unless you watch it closely. They spend a lot less time together and what feels almost out of character initially in Dethcamp is....Skwisgaar easily going along with Murderface and bitching about Toki, because....again can't stress the Scandinavian dudes are always attached at the hip and now suddenly he's easily saying mean shit about Toki. It feels weird until you remember that not long before this they had a massive fight, Toki called him abusive and momentarily ruined his career and most likely afterwards tried to act like nothing happened at all while Skwisgaar probably wasn't capable of doing that.
Occasionally in season four Skwisgaar and Toki will sit together or stand together, still talk or have that physical closeness but it's far between and you see Toki spend a majority of his time with the toxic trio: Murderface, Rockso, and Magnus. Skwisgaar spends his time typically with Murderface and Pickles then near the end spends most of his time with Nathan.
Skwisgaar is a person who grew up in a home lacking affection and love or safety, he didn't grow up with examples of love or healthy relationships and as far as he's concerned relationships are a waste of time and energy because they all end the same.
Of course for as much as he says that, as they all say that....it's bull shit. He cares deeply about his bands and him trying to act near the end like Dethklok was just another gig it isn't, these people are his close friends and his only real family. Seeing Pickles and Nathan fall apart wrecked him and having Toki turn on him so easily gutted him. Skwisgaar is a super emotionally fragile person, he seems absolutely terrified of showing anger or aggression as if it's something he's never been comfortable with or learned when he was young gets you nowhere or perhaps there were men around who were violent and loud and it made him scared to ever be that way. He's the only one of the band we never see really lose his shit or be randomly aggressive and violent, he also strangely enough cries the most out of them canonically. People always make the assumption Toki cries a lot, but like canonically he cries waaayyyy fucking less than Skwisgaar.
I really find Skwisgaar interesting....clearly and this analysis might be a jumbled mess, but there's strangely a lot of things to unpack and things I probably didn't even touch on as much as I could have, because this is already insanely long. I have a deep appreciation of him rewatching this show now that I'm older and far more into analyzing works of fiction.
I hope that this was remotely coherent.
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Zidane Tribal I'm basic forgive me
OH BABE. I'M BASIC. I WAS PRAYING I'D GET ZIDANIEL.
favorite thing about them: PROTECT GIRLS and SACRIFICE. All you need to know about Zidane’s character is right there in his abilities. You take damage in place of a girl AND THEN (people don’t talk about sacrifice enough????) Zidane KO’s himself, WILLINGLY, to give FULL HP and MP to ALL your party members. ALL OF THEM. I love him so much. Also you wanna know my favorite thing about Zidane? It’s every second of his existence. Replay the whole game there you go. I need a separate post to rant about him.
least favorite thing about them: I don’t dislike anything about Zidane or more so I wouldn’t change anything about his character. I would slap him over the head for a few things (coping a feel in Dali...) but in a motherly-Baku kind of way.
favorite line: This is gonna be lines cause I’ve got a few.
“Hey, I’m not the idiot with the loud voice, and the dirty, rusty armor.”
“It’s gonna be hard... but I’ve got my friends. It isn’t so bad.”
“No one’s useless...”
“So even if we are born to die, I’m not afraid. I’m gonna live!”
“Alright then, Your Highness! I shall hereby do my best to kidnap you!"
“I beseech thee, wondrous moonlight, grant me my only wish! Bring my beloved Dagger to me!
This is my ultimate fav probably: "I couldn't say anything! I had a whole speech ready for her. But it would've been a lie! How could I lie to her!? Good luck, Dagger! I'll be watching you from afar. Come find me if you need someone to talk to.’ It's a big fat lie! That's not how I feel at all! That's not how I feel...at all."
brOTP: STEINER & ZIDANE. FOREVER. NO QUESTION. Zidane & his little brother Vivi. Also Cid & Zidane. They’re an underrated dynamic. They have this weird friendship/father and son-in-law relationship that I love. Cid always bashes Zidane’s manners but also cares about him because he did his utmost to protect and escort Garnet. I love that little scene in the Desert Palace when Cid tells Zidane “And you <ribbit>! You come back safe!” Garnet is like a daughter to Cid but Zidane quickly becomes like a son to Cid too. Also Zidane & Amarant for obvious reason. Zidane & everyone in Tantalus, Zidane & Beatrix (great untapped potential). Zidane & everyone if we’re being honest.
OTP: Zidane and Garnet but of COURSE.
nOTP: Probably just Kuja or Mikoto with Zidane.
random headcanon: I got a few but this one hurts me: Even though he was four when Baku found him Zidane couldn’t/or wouldn’t talk. There wasn’t really anyone to speak to in Terra and it’s possible he was in that incubator tube thing up until Kuja took him and dropped him on Gaia so he had a slow start as a child. Even with a soul he needed to learn how to bond with others. Baku had his work cut out for him.
unpopular opinion: Zidane ain’t popular with all the ladies in Lindblum. Is this unpopular? I’m not sure. I’ve seen some interpretations of Zidane as being a legit lady killer and that he’s pretty experienced relationship wise. But I’m here to preach the truth. Zidane ain’t that good with the ladies. Ladies in Lindblum? They kick him to the street. You see that with his failed attempts with Lowell’s fangirls. Lilian in the bar quickly moves on from his little airship suggestion (she’s also into the airships not him. rip Zidane). Zidane’s character is clearly the classic girl obsessed boy troupe in Japanese media. Characters in this troupe throw their affections around but don’t usually get much back (e.g. ataru moroboshi). Though Zidane is written so he doesn’t have the “pervert” aspect of the troupe either. Besides accidently touching Garnet on the ladder all but I argue he did it on accident. All of Zidane’s flirting is just empty air, he doesn’t expect any returned affection. Disc 1 he makes little flirts with Garnet but nothing serious and he gives attention to other girls too. He flirts with and teases Garnet much harder, to almost annoying degrees, on Disc 2 because he’s legitimately fallen for her but hasn’t admitted it to himself or even realized it. (And I think he’s also trying to mess with her to distract her from everything that’s happened with Brahne). The fact that he’s so oblivious to his own serious feelings about Garnet really shows that, as Blank said, “he’s never had a serious relationship before.” He’s 16, never been in love, and never opened up before. Maybe he’s had a few successes in getting a girl on a date but with his deeper vulnerabilities, insecurities, and loneliness still so closed up at the start of the game it seemed to me like he’s obviously only had surface level relationships with any girls before Garnet. She forces him to open up and reevaluate himself. As Zidane falls harder for Garnet he stops his teasing and outside flirting (Lani is the last girl he flirts with) and by Disc 3 he’s “honest with himself” as he says, that he loves her, and will do whatever he can to help her and be with her. TL;DR: Zidane’s a virgin *drops mic*
song i associate with them: YORUWA HONOKA by Eve (about his inner insecurities); Ballad of the Windfish Cover by Michelle Heafy and Josiah Everhart (been thinking of Zidane/Garnet for this one); Blue Sky by Tsutomu Narita (This ONE is SO Zidane. I always use it when writing him). And Misekake No Love Song by indigo la End
favorite picture of them: Zidenny. My beloved.
I hate this image it haunts me. Now you have to look at it too.
Okay but actually this art by you @anubis-005 is my favorite for real. Like WOW I gotta lie down. I think of this picture everyday of my life
THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK.
#asks#anubis-005#ffix#zidane tribal#final fantasy ix#final fantasy 9#zidane x garnet#zidane my beloved I love you
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MY LITTLE PONY: A NEW GENERATION (G5 Movie) THOUGHTS
It’s finally here. The beginning of Generation 5. Though before I get into the movie in some detail I’m going to reiterate one more time what G5 means for my content and a non-spoilery summary of the movie.
Again, I will say that the movie nor will the G5 series coming later have much of an effect at all on any of my blogs. The revelation in Secrets of the Dragon’s Tear that life itself is also magic means that a world that implied to have no magic for years would mean the extinction of all life (Perhaps resulting in the wasteland we saw in the Season 5 finale). There may be something I’ll probably do at some point on a certain different blog. But even then, that may likely be a one-time thing and probably come around the time the series is starting to air.
That said, just because I’m continuing with mainly G4 content doesn’t mean I disapprove of G5. In fact, my non-spoilers thoughts on the movie is I think it is a good start for this new generation. There are questions I have that I’m not sure will be answered (Though many of those questions are the same ones I had in my Trailer/Preliminary thoughts) quickly enough. But the movie is structured well enough, in fact it’s probably a better movie as a whole compared to any of the movies G4 had (The 2017 movie, Rainbow Roadtrip, and all 4 Equestria Girls movies). As the 2017 movie was fun, but it jumped around a lot, sometimes scenes transitioning too fast. And while Rainbow Roadtrip may have been this on purpose, the entirely slice-of-life story taking up a long length… made it something of a less interesting plot to follow. It feels like some of that special could of been cut to at least a two-parter length and keep the same beats they hit. And while i have a soft spot for the 3rd and 4th Equestria Girls movies, I’ll always say a full-length pony adventure feels better suited for what I want to see out of MLP then spin-off movies with high school movie cliches and weird pony/human world shenanigans.
So movie-wise I’m not a G4 purist. It’ll take some time to see how Gen 5 compares to Friendship is Magic when we get to the series. As I feel it’d take a lot for it to surpass G4 in my mind. But I’m going to try to be as fair as possible and judge on it’s own merits. The implied connection to G4 by referring to G4 being ancient Equestria is going to naturally get the staff and hasbro pressured by fans to tell us what happened in-between the generations. Because that’s the trap they put the writers in when they made it so they want to try to say it’s in the same universe. That’s the double-edged sword Hasbro chose to have, trying to appease the G4 fanbase and keep at least some of them around. But at the cost of questions both nitpicky (Such as character design being inconsistent) or actual honest questions that need to be known (Why did magic disappear, and what happened to the Alicorns) for some of us to truly see this as the same Equestria.
After the break, I’ll have more spoilery thoughts
Even for a brief moment, it was nice seeing the Mane 6 and 2D animation. The former because of course those are the ponies many of us that saw all of G4 loved. And the latter, because while the animation wasn’t bad in this movie. I’m one of those who’d prefer to have 2D animation in an animated film. As in most cases aside from Pixar, it’s just a strong preference of mine. If this had the animation of the 2017 MLP movie but otherwise everything else was generally the same here, I feel that would of have been great.
I wish they didn’t have to have Sunny’s dad die off-screen, as he seems like he could of been a compelling character. And not to mention if perhaps he has any connection the “ancient” days in any fashion. But *sigh* I get it, it’s an old trope where part of the character’s offscreen growth is not having their parent(/s) around.
On a side note there’s quite a few times during the beginning of the movie that somewhat foreshadow what happens to Sunny later. 3 times where she had a fake horn and wings on her. Once in the flashback, then 2 separate times when she’s doing her protest where she has her own costumed wings and horn. As well as the helmet and mechanical wings.
Also, there’s no way around it. Some of the discussions this movie are going to get quite political. (Namely one part of Sunny’s song that could be seen as having a double meaning of a jab at Trumpsts regarding “Building your wall”) From the very premise in the early times, we know that the inspiration for the story was last year’s Black Lives Matter protests. Which honestly, I do support the message they’re going for. Having an anti-racism message to tell kids from the very beginning and making a focus on it is important when in G4 it only got briefly touched upon in Bridle Gossip and the Heath’s Warming Eve play. Although it certainly rose up to some form of prominence with Season 8 and onward. Still, while you can argue if G4 executed the anti-racism message well. it does come with something of a problem that the series finale left Equestria in the least divided it’s ever been.
And personally, I feel it’s a terrible interpretation of time to say “Well, it’s a realistic take. Racism has existed for years in our world. Same should go for the ponies” and while yes, racism is still rampant in today’s world. That said, that ignores that if we went from The Last Problem to the start of G5. There’s a huge difference between our world and Equestria. There is no ancient civilization that we look at like “Yeah, those were the golden days of world peace” when normally the “Golden age” was reserved for the high classes of Ancient Greece or Rome. It was most decidedly not perfect, with slavery rampant and wars for the sake of expanding an empire. While if you look at The Last Problem’s Equestria, you not only have peace between the three main types of ponies. But you literally have non-pony citizens in Equestria. You can see a dragon handing off a flower to a pony which can imply cross-species romantic relations. With the Friendship school still going strong, and was the reason that the world was saved in The Ending of the End. While perhaps it may be too glowing to say that future is perfect for everyone even in-universe. It’s certainly a hell of a lot better outlook then comparing to how we view even the so called Golden age of ancient civilizations. The Last Problem’s Equestria implies it looks to ally with every country outside of Equestria, not conquer them.
So it should still be a valid question on just how this world collapses to the point it gets to where G5 is at the start. I at least assume that it’s not the fault at all of any of the Mane 6 nor Twilight. Or at least I hope it isn’t, as I’d rather the MLP fanbase not have to deal with a The Last Jedi Luke Skywalker situation. (Where after the joyful end of the original trilogy, things go wrong as Luke almost murders the son of one of his best friends and his sister despite trying to hard and succeeding at redeeming his father who at that point in the canon was a galaxy-wide known ruthless mass-murderer.) I assume we’re at a point where everyone of the Mane 6 sans maybe Twilight are presumed dead. And even in Twilight’s case, there’s a chance that G5 decides to say that G4 overestimated the whole Alicorn immortality thing. Though I wouldn’t put it past Hasbro to have some event where the Mane 5 of G5 meet the Mane 6 in some special event whether that’s a a Season finale or a sequel movie/special. Where either the Mane 6 return in a limbo situation similar to the Pillars at the end of Season 7 or Time travel gets involved. They may even string us along on answering just what in the heck happened until they involve a meet-up with the Mane 6 in that way. Though I hope they don’t, I’d really like the beginning of the series (Or I guess this supposed special coming up in Spring supposedly?) starts to answer some questions. G5 should get a chance to stand on it’s own, but I hope the writers are actually well aware there will be so many questions people have and address them in the show. A cynical part of me feels like they’re likely to string us along until at least the Season 1 finale.
Onto the characters for a bit. I think Izzy Moonbow was absolutely the most stand-out character in the whole movie. She was energetic, funny, and aside from “The pegasi are bad news” she along with Zipp and Sunny were the most averse to the way the world was. She was already the most popular due to the tennis ball memes. But now it feels like she legit stands on her own and most certainly deserves to be the most popular character of G5 thus far. Behind her in a bit of a surprise to me was Zipp, who I thought would be mainly a Rainbow Dash-expy. Though she really helps out Izzy and Sunny in Zephyr Heights. Despite having Twilight be my favorite pony from the very beginning of G4 all the way to the end, I didn’t feel as strongly about Sunny for some reason. So she’s in the middle of the pack, she could grow on me later. I just don’t know if I click with her as much as I did with Twilight. As for the last two, while I don’t hate either of them. Either one could be the lowest of the 5 for one reason or another. Pipp (Although I will say she's probably my favorite character design out of the 5) feels like she doesn’t do a whole lot in the movie and it takes until she’s forced to be an outlaw because the other choice was to get imprisoned like her mother was. So she may come off as quite pretentious, though it’s arguable Rarity was the same way early in G4. But she definitely grew later. Could be the same case for Pipp. And as for Hitch, he has shining moments in the film. But what might hurt him is the fact he was such a bad friend to Sunny up until the campfire scene. “I’m the last real friend you have. You really want to lose me too?” is not a healthy friendship. Hitch may have been Sunny’s friend the longest, but it definitely feels like Izzy connected immediately. I don’t know if this show will get into shipping any of the main characters between each other mid-show, but if they do. I hope it’s between Izzy and Sunny currently, cause Hitch and Sunny just gives bad vibes even with Hitch getting better later.
None of the songs I felt were particularly too special. Though I think the closest was Sprout’s “Danger, Danger” song that has similarities to Smells Like Teen Spirit in some parts of the song since I tend towards more rock/metal-esque music.
I touched upon it earlier, but there’s perhaps a stand-out reason for why the G5 movie outdid the 2017 MLP Movie. They have the typical “Our heroic group splits after a sad moment before coming together again for the climatic good end” in Sunny seeing that that the two crystals don’t instantly bring magic back, and when Twilight left the group after an argument that happened with Twilight trying to take a pearl. They perform the same purpose in the movie. But the crystals not working, crushing Sunny’s hope for a little while works better into the story. Where as Twilight’s part frustratingly brought the sea pony scene to an end too quickly and/or doesn’t feel right of Twilight to have done that. It felt forced in the 2017 movie, but works out in the G5 movie. Especially since a part of it is that it’s not the crystals themselves capable of bringing magic back. But it’s the journey going after the crystals that brings the ponies themselves their magic back.
Just a small note on dictator Sprout, he tries to cause a war. Though admittedly the film seems to treat him as a joke the entire time despite his seriously evil ambitions. With the only repercussions is he gets a wishy-washy answer on if he was a good sheriff from his mom. I don’t quite know how I feel about that yet, but I wonder what they’ll have in mind for Sprout given his actions. He and his mom are the only ones that feel like a true antagonist. Though they seem to be ok with things fast when the magic comes back.
But anyway on to the ending, we see that Sunny becomes an Alicorn. Which I guess with no other real Alicorns around, I guess it makes sense to alicornify her since she’s the real leader behind what united the leaders of each type of pony again. Though there is of course this weird thing where her horn and wings don’t seem like as much a part of her body compared to very obvious connected wings on Twilight when she got hers. Sunny keeps her horn and wings to the end of the movie, and has colored streaks in her hair. Though I do wonder if that;s truly permanent. If it is permanent, I suppose at least they got to have a headstart and have it established at the end of the introductory movie rather then have it shock people at the end of a shortened 3rd season. I still feel like Twilight had well earned her alicornhood considering that besides what she did in the series. She has a whole childhood and time as a teenager learning under Celestia. Which had to mean something, and I’m not sure Celestia just leaving her to live the rest of her days with her friends in ponyville was that. Sunny has no doubt been trying countless time to try to spread friendship throughout her life even after the tragedy of her father’s passing. So there’s no doubt she’s been through a lot, and may indeed be worthy of being an Alicorn at this point. Though in terms of screentime before Alicornhood it's definitely a lot less then Twilight had. And it is at least nice to see that it is possible for non-unicorns to become one. (The only case of that we sort of got was a children's book that may or may not be canon that implied Cadence was a pegasus before she ascended)
Though you have to wonder if the visual differences such as Sunny’s alicorn horn and wings, the cutie mark only on one side (Yes I know that’s how it was normally in the MLP generations before G4. But a distinct visual difference between shows is still noticeable even if the context of G4’s cutie marks on both sides of the flank was about it being easier on the puppets for Flash), and how animals can have wings or weird round shapes such as those bunnies when G4 has normal looking animals. There’s enough striking visual differences for any nitpicky G4 to say “This isn’t the same Equestria”. And if someone tries to say maybe some sort of evolution happened. That’s still trying to put a little too much real world logic on this fantasy world. And evolution tends to take millions of years to have such dramatic changes. Not 1000 years or so, there should still be normal looking animals at this point and time. And these small details are probably going to be the things most ignored but nonetheless can build a case that this isn’t the same Equestria. Even if they touch on the important questions like how magic disappeared and what happened to the Mane 6, there will be details they make different that will add to the case that this is it’s own universe if it doesn’t quite matchup with what was remembered about G4. There will be fans who will be that nitpicky to call G5 out of continuity for small details like that. That is again the trap they put themselves in when they decided to try to say it’s the same Equestria.
All-in-all though, I think that’s at least a good enough chunk about my thoughts on the movie to end off here. If there’s something I missed or something from the movie you’d like me to give a particular opinion about or elaborate on something feel free to ask me here. G5 is indeed off to a good start, just I will be along the many hoping some questions get answered sooner then later. And I’m not sure I’m confident in getting anywhere until a Season finale or a 2nd movie. And it’ll be a year before the series starts proper (Though again I guess there’s a 44 minute special coming in Spring to try to hold us over). But I could definitely see G5 finding it's own following, now there's just the inevitable clashes between some of the more vocal fans of each generation bickering at eachother. But hoping there will be enough that take the movie's lessons on divisiveness to heart and be able to enjoy both even if there may be preferences.
#mlp#my little pony#g5#mlp g5#netflix#my little pony the next generation#my little pony movie#generation 5
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