#when many interpretations could have happened
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Old Man Daniel being a survivor of the AIDS epidemic means so much to me.
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Here is this grumpy old man who is dismissive of his queer experiences. It was a place to get high. Fulfilling the social contract. An excuse, that's all. He's into counter cultures after all.
But Louis and Armand changed his life forever.
Should Devil's Minion have happened in the past, that crosses into the AIDS epidemic. San Francisco, the beating heart of the gay community in America in the 70s, a ghost town in the 80s. That's where we run into Daniel. He would get into a relationship that meant death for so many. Running away from the monster that he loves that could symbolize his own sexuality. Finally embracing it when he realizes the monster is what he finds fascinating. The fear is what makes it worth it. The only relationship he dedicated himself to a man, the one that would have convinced him he loved men too. That it wasn't just for the high.
In the books, Daniel didn't make it. He was sick, and dying. Could he have died of AIDS? In the arms of his male lover? It's open to interpretation. He was turned, stuck forever in his early 30s and a ghost of his former self.
But Old Man Daniel? Who wrote a book called The Shadow on The Skin about the crisis because those were his people. The people he knew, even if now he could pretend he was never a part of it. He can claim he was just an observer.
But if vampirism is a metaphor for queerness... if Devil's Minion did happen... this is an elder queer. One who survived because they were shoved in the closet by the one who loved them. Because they loved them alive more than dead. Because some of the people who made it did so because they were there for support, because the fear was too much.
Rolin Jones you have the opportunity of a lifetime.
#devils minion#daniel molloy#interview with the vampire meta#interview with the vampire#iwtv#its fine im fine
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The amount I disagree with your professor
And it’s significant that it happens in that way because they both exist in a society where it is considered inappropriate for men and women to really look at each other in public. But because a portrait is a work of art, and Elizabeth is a tourist in the moment that it happens, she’s able to stare at/examine Darcy’s face in a way would have felt really intimate (perhaps scandalous) to Austen’s contemporaries.
Men and women could totally look at each other while say, dancing for half an hour together, sitting beside each other at dinner, Darcy just randomly stares at Elizabeth constantly... this is not it. Elizabeth doesn't look at the portrait because she didn't know Darcy was hot, everyone knows that after about 10 seconds at the Assembly ball, it's because she realizes that he was smiling happily at her (she thought it was sarcastic/judgey because she thought he didn't like her). She is also contemplating what she has learned about his character. It even says, she knows very well what he looks like:
In the gallery there were many family portraits, but they could have little to fix the attention of a stranger. Elizabeth walked on in quest of the only face whose features would be known to her. At last it arrested her—and she beheld a striking resemblance of Mr. Darcy, with such a smile over the face, as she remembered to have sometimes seen, when he looked at her. She stood several minutes before the picture, in earnest contemplation, and returned to it again before they quitted the gallery. Mrs. Reynolds informed them, that it had been taken in his father’s lifetime.
There was certainly at this moment, in Elizabeth’s mind, a more gentle sensation towards the original than she had ever felt in the height of their acquaintance. The commendation bestowed on him by Mrs. Reynolds was of no trifling nature. What praise is more valuable than the praise of an intelligent servant? As a brother, a landlord, a master, she considered how many people’s happiness were in his guardianship! How much of pleasure or pain it was in his power to bestow! How much of good or evil must be done by him! Every idea that had been brought forward by the housekeeper was favourable to his character; and as she stood before the canvas, on which he was represented, and fixed his eyes upon herself, she thought of his regard with a deeper sentiment of gratitude than it had ever raised before: she remembered its warmth, and softened its impropriety of expression.
None of the text supports your professor's interpretation. She's not thinking about his appearance she's considering his character and the new information she's learned.
We are not judging the adaptations as a whole. Just these specific choices.
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I'm sorry for coming onto your blog to rant but I feel silly for being upset about it and it's nice to kinda vent with people who feel the same so I hope you don't mind <3
Because it's the final arc of Andor tonight obviously a bunch of interviews are coming out etc and Diego Luna in one of them called Bix and Cassian's relationship "Everything! They're each other's home and family and their relationship is every possible angle of love" and I don't know if I've just been watching every episode with my eyes closed but huh?!?!?
With my rebelcaptain goggles on and off this makes no sense to me. Like the "family" part i can completely understand, they've know each other for a large part of their lives, she (as shown in season 1) was very close with Maarva so yeah they're relationship being classed as family and that aspect of love i agree with, I also understand the romantic love aspect, in this season they were together for years BUT it was barely explored or given time to let us really feel it, bix and cassian were pretty much only on screen together when bix was in distress in some capacity and they were making andor play the knight in shining armour and then she took such a monumental choice from him and left. I know that they were going for "wow so tragic and beautiful" but like sorry they weren't successful and that's not really giving "every possible angle of love"
The main issue I think, which I know a bunch of people have spoken about here, is that they shot themselves in the foot withe the window of time they played this relationship out, if Cassian was younger you could understand him feeling like this was his one big true love, his first love, he'd "saved" her etc etc typical teen young adult feelings when it comes to love and relationships but to have this happen 1 year before Rogue One??? eh
It just feels like they're really trying to rewrite what we all saw in Rogue One between Cassian and Jyn, making it so that Bix was "waiting" for him and he could never love someone else when him and Bix are "Everything! They're each other's home and family and their relationship is every possible angle of love" it just stings idk why I'm feeling it so personally but ugh :(
well, this was sent before the release of the last arc and now with all that.... yeah. I agree. I already did but this last arc really solidifies it. like I'm not gonna change my mind about rebelcaptain but I kinda feel like that was Gilroy's intention. he seems very resentful of Rogue One in general, doesn't seem to care about Jyn, nor Cassian for that matter to mischaracterize him so badly. I think he wanted to take this story and make it his own. I'm not sure what his problem is, and I don't even mean to sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist shipper, but I genuinely do feel like he has a problem with people shipping rebelcaptain and did everything in his power to try and undo their connection. like I'm not even saying everyone has to see it as romantic or whatever!! but it was AMBIGUOUS, and that was the POINT. you could interpret them however you wanted to. now (and again, personally, it changes nothing for me and I know for many of us) but it feels like he's trying to discourage people from seeing it as romantic. look, Bix promised him they'd find each other! they have a baby! he hints at the fact that he may find her later! isn't this the ultimate doomed love story? don't you think he would have found her if he lived? don't you think they would have been together? doesn't this change how you see Jyn and Cassian??
like Jesus Christ, Gilroy, what's your issue?! I'm not at all against Cassian having a relationship (though I don't think it makes sense this close to R1 but that's another issue), but this feels actively malicious to me. like he's trying to say we're stupid for ever thinking there was something romantic between Jyn and Cassian because he was meant to end up with Bix. I hate it. I hate that we're apparently supposed to see them differently now.
well, I don't. you fucking failed.
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Back at it with the French dub (well, subs), please enjoy the contrast between the English subs and French subs with me:
One of those books?! -> This genre of book?!
I spent so much time studying lately, my brain's more active than ever -> It's during our school years that our brains are the most active
sophisticated, unintelligible books -> cool and complicated reading material
You just admitted that you don't understand them. -> So, you think it's complicated...
#one of the reasons i like to compare translations is that often a specific turn of phrase/wording will lodge itself in the fandom's canon#when many interpretations could have happened#the french translations tend to be a little more loose with adapting the text so it's always interesting to compare#like here where a lot of these choices completely change the vibe of the dialogue via subtle word choices#bsd#bsdrewatch2023#bsd wan!#bsd french dub adventures#<- honorary
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It’s 2025 and people are still putting posts that absolutely SHIT on rare pairs in favor of their popular ships in the rare pair tags. Keep that shit out of rare pair tags! We don’t care to see you talking about how your ship is better! 🥱
#why do i see people tagging posts that shit on merwaine when i’m actively haunting the merwaine tag…#like how many posts do i have to see that are like ‘well Gwaine could never REALLY be capable of love like that so merwaine could never make#sense! anyways time to erase Arthur’s wife from the narrative entirely’#blocked blocked and blocked#saying ‘merwaine could be something meaningless or FWB but never anything deep meanwhile we have to lie to ourselves that merthur IS’#just tag things appropriately LMAO#if you wanna make posts or write fics about how you see gwaine as a surface-level static character who can never live up to Arthur#then do that in the ARTHUR and MERTHUR tags not the MERWAINE tag#we don’t wanna see your endgame merthur shit. actually we’re going to kill you now#no but rlly the way ppl determine what they will ship based on the amount of screentime the characters get#as opposed to characterization dynamics themes development etc.#to the point that you create whole new personalities for the characters in order to fit the tropes you want to see them in#to the point that it is no longer that character…#and then act like people who don’t see that interpretation in canon are ‘watching w/ their eyes closed’ or whatever it is they always say#truly just go back to your own little world. I don’t need to see your fic about Gwaine using and abusing Merlin until the Real Love comes in#or your fic where he’s incapable of being loving or serious in any way (polar opposite of canon btw)#literally just don’t tag your subtle hate posts and fics with the gwaine tags… it’s not hard#at least merwaine is getting less rare these days. considering the. happenings in canon
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do i believe eddie brock is homosexual or even really into men. no. to be honest. however is he gay for that alien. one hundred fucking percent and it's canonical too
#at LEAST one time he has used he/him pronouns for the symbiote#and they are in love mike costa said so. that's his love. his darling.#so. man. hashtag homosexuality. gay stuff happening in there. can't attest to what's going on exactly but i know it's queer#eddie brock is into women and is also in a deep committed relationship with that slime from space#and when the space slime is around he really barely even looks at women. and the slime gets kinda peeved when he does#was gonna say 'looks at other women'. and you know what. yeah. when he looks at other women. except the symbiote is not a girl#my take on the symbiote is that it has No indentification with the human concept of gender. like i think it Gets it. it's picked it up#from living on earth all this time and seeing into people's heads. but it's like. not human.#same with curse words. it doesn't cuss usually. it knows the words and it could use them if it wants. but it doesn't really want#however. DISTINCT from that. i think the way that EDDIE BROCK sees/feels/interprets the symbiote is something more masculine#or at least more aligned with the male side of a gender binary.#partly because of self-identification with the thing that is literally a part of him. and partly cause he's gay for that thing#believer in. he/they/it symbiote. they/them for people who are speaking about it compassionately as if it's a being of its own.#it/its for people who do Not see it as its own person or whose perspective on it is heavily influenced by the fact that it's not human.#and he/him for eddie brock. for purposes not entirely clear to the rest of mankind but absolutely tied to something gay happening there#i have talked about the symbiote's pronouns so many times with so many people in different distinct conversations this week.#currently doing my job as the world's leading thinker on venom pronoun discourse (as in conversation and theorization. not argument)#venomposting#venom
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What is this design even meant to be?? The family on this supernanny episode looks like they just have random rorschach tests plastered on the wall lol
#literally do not know how my brain chooses the ''random background noise whilst doing chores'' type shows#because children screaming and stuff is not relaxing or ''background'' seeming at all but#eh. thats what it's been the past few weeks. so many episodes are free on youtube#Maybe it just has to be formulaic and easy to ignore to qualify as 'background'. which most reality type shows are I guess#A few years ago my ''doing chores background noise'' show was basically the same thing except it was a dog nanny or something?#some english woman that went to american people's houses who had dogs that misbehave and tried to train their#dogs or something like that. I literally have never even had a dog or cared about dogs in my life but my brain was just like.. hrrm... yes#.. this feels right... this must be on in the background whilst you wander around the house putting up dishes and such..#ANYWAY. I do like watching uploads of full episodes of things on youtube because of the comments section lol. it reminds#me of when Hulu used to have a comments section under every video and people would argue about the most mundane things. Which#sometimes can be annoying in a like 'oh gods i cant beleive this many people have this horrible interpretation of XYZ thing that#happened' but then other times its just very silly and interesting. like digital people watching. just to observe what The General Public i#saying. I know thats what social media and tags and forums and stuff is for but I think there's something neat about it being self#contained. Like if you watched some tv show on netflix and then could just scroll down to a whole disucssion forum in the comments#below the video player instead of having to go to some external site for that. Even funnier if it had a sort of upvote downvote system#like reddit instead of only being able to like things like on youtube (dislikes being meaningless especially on comments). Imagine the#absolute wars that would be going on. Especially since social media is more niche. like if you post about a show on tumblr or#something then Tumblr People are going to see it. But if it was just some generic Netflix Comments Section then you would have#people from ALL over the place. super fans and casual watchers and your 65 yr old aunt who clicked on the video accidentally#and doesnt know how to get out of it. etc. etc.
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I feel like my mum finds men ridiculous and charming the same way that gay men adore Jennifer Coolidge. No I won't elaborate.
#jokes the tea is in the tags#she has been reconnecting with an old high school friend in cbr right#and this woman has been married to this man for years and while my mum has been reconnecting with her#her husband has become infatuated with my mum which she finds embarrassing and annoying#she has made absolutely no moves on him and is totally loyal to her friend#she is just flirtatious by nature and he is one of many men who are so lonely and have no women friends to understand that#her behaviour is not romantic#because i think there could be a view that she is bringing this situation on herself if she only controlled her behaviour#but that's misogynistic#what's happening is men in her life can often not interpret kindness from a woman#from romantic interest#because when men are kind to others they only do so out of self interest#generally speaking about the cis male boomer#so they interpret her kindness as her wanting something from him and all that he has to give her is sex#which she doesn't want!!!#but their stupid responses to her behaviour doesn't stop her from talking to them#and i think that it's similar to the way gay men love and flirt with women but don't want them carnally#the difference i guess is i don't think my mum has come to terms with that she's probably asexual#or some other element of queer that is incongruent with her Christian upbringing
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having yancey and stevie from my original story the diner thoughts 💭💭💭
from all the characters of the diner i feel like these two are the most like two puzzle pieces instantly clicking together. just in general the story is very focused on starting over far away from the life you used to know and carrying knowledge with you that you'll never speak about for a variety of reasons (and will remain unspoken of throughout the whole story because you'll never know everything there is to know about a person even if you do end up growing very close to them; this is one of the main themes of the story) but especially yancey and stevie understand this like no one else and that's why they work together so well
from the moment they meet and through the first handful of interactions between them it becomes very clear that they're already very comfortable with each other; they skip the small talk, share cigarettes together in their break behind the diner, know that the other went through some heavy shit and they just kind of immediately offer the other their friendship; a judgment-free zone where they can both be their unfiltered and unmasked selves, no need to keep up appearances because they KNOW they both feel like fucking shit and they allow the other to feel like shit with them
but at the same time they know they can't help each other. which is why all their issues remain untalked about until the end of the story; they can't offer the other the comfort they need and deserve because if they'd try, they know they'd start making mistakes. i've thought briefly about letting them have a romantic relationship instead of yancey ending up with rafiq and teddy, but quickly realized it wouldn't add anything else to the story other than the same cycle of mistakes yancey went through with his ex girlfriend which is specifically the situation he's moving away from. so having a redo of all that with stevie wouldn't tell anything new. they'd make each other worse and end up having to get out of there AGAIN, when the whole point of the story is supposed to be that blightwood crossing ends up as their new home because they MADE it into a home
so instead their friendship is both profoundly strong because of the mutual understanding about each other's issues without even having explained anything about it to the other, as well as kind of stuck on becoming closer than they are on account of how they'll never be able to talk about any of it. they won't ever know about each other's past, they'll never learn what the other was like when they were younger, and when either of them needs to talk about something they know they can't go to the other for it because that's just not possible. but what they CAN do is sit with the other and for a while just be miserable in peace, and they know that no matter how bad it gets they WILL always have each other
something something their misery remains forever their own but no matter how ugly it gets the other will still be there at the end of the day
#personal#like obviously the story is very much also just focused on the fucking diner that ends up like. literally eating people#but the dynamics between all the characters are very important since that's why blightwood crossing ends up becoming their home#all the characters feel some level of alienation to the town and the mimic that is pretending to be the diner is. the main cause of this#but through their friendships and how they stick together and trust each other no matter how strange it all may sound at first#THAT is why no one moves away at the end of it all. when at the beginning of the story everyone is kinda looking for a way to leave#i could honestly also write a whole essay on yancey's ex girlfriend but that kinda defeats the purpose of the story#because i can't really talk about what exactly she did. because that's the unspoken part of yancey's past that's just#not discussed in the book at all. like yeah there's hints towards things but there's no full explanation#everything is left up for own interpretation because at the end of the day you can ask yourself how much of it actually matters#there was an accident there was a breakup there was a funeral. and then a handful of other small details#that are all presented in a non-chronological order to the reader and you're just gonna have to piece something together yourself#who was really at fault? who knows!! yancey believes what happened to him is what he deserves but he's an unreliable narrator#in the sense that circumstances have led him to believe he is fully to blame. in addition to the obviously lost will to live#and then the influence of the mimic in town making everything even worse#anyway hi. original story ramblings from bones it will happen again many times sorry
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I do think it's really overplayed and unfortunate and honestly probably dl racism that lance is the stereotypical flirty playboy but I think that aspect can be salvaged if you factor in that he's probably a loverboy at heart and is just scared to give people too much of himself
#normally I'd go ''bad move'' and scrap smthn like that in my interpretations but its so heavily hammered into his depiction I think I have#to work with it#plus like there are people who fit the stereotype 💀 I know this to be true there are so many latino fboys#are they setting our people back? yeah. But honestly more calling out of cultural values needs to happen to stop it#I like to think lance is smart enough to buy into machismo but I think it's something he can fall back into when he feels defensive/insecure#because its been marketed to him as this very reliable thing that's how he's Supposed to act#this also applies to his bisexuality I feel he really struggles with not running back to whatever he thinks is ''normal'' whenever he feels#embarassed/threatened#there's so many directions that could go as far as substance use/patterns of responsibility but I'll leave it there#also growing up getting made fun of 24/7 assuming his family is classic latine#if I was hard klanceposting I'd make some comparison about how keith is so subconsciously agressively himself and doesnt have all these#cultural and familial and social expectations for himself#so its grounding for lance#I mean the lack of those things (not like the expectations the things themselves) is part of why keith is deeply lonely#idk man 😭#oh shit ****smart enough NOT to buy into machismo#that rly fucked up what I meant to say#voltron#lance mcclain#txt
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I don't know, it's silly, but I really love this story. I fell in love with the details and how everything cohered beyond my expectations, how the little details in worldbuilding made big things click and make sense even though they seemed typical fiction "too much but you have to suspend belief" things at first. And I actually honestly think most of the things some parts of fandom complain about are not only coherent, but some of the best more nuanced aspects of the writing. Everything that I thought and interpreted, even to the most minute details, was confirmed. Even, again, to the most minute details I loved but thought I was being stupid for paying so much attention to, because surely they couldn't mean as much as I thought they did. Yet they did.
#I truly love this story‚ and I've fallen in love with the characters and their dynamics#And it's frustrating that this is a gacha game that I didn't trust at all to begin with#but even less so now that the story is being so loudly criticised because it didn't turn out as people wanted#I already expected things to stop making sense with some time as it always happens with long serialised things made to sell#but I hate that now I fear it will happen sooner‚ that they'll change things that will ruin the continuity or flatten the characters#All because people only read the two things very directly related to what interests them#and with preconditioned views on what they'll interpret#All the while criticising that one has to dig the story through fragments‚ scraps‚ off-hand comments made by the NPCs and so on#And I understand not liking a story told this way‚ but that's the core of this story in particular and why it works#And it's done very well and very cleverly#It's frustrating to see people who have not approached the text as it ought to be criticise the story and characters for what it is not#and for not turning out to be what they thought it would when they didn't even think at all because it was all a bit a hive mind thing#And it's sad in many regards#I don't know. I think it's super neat that everything‚ from Ying.xing being able to craft weapons as well as delicate jade flasks#to Jingli.u moving in a much lighter way than Blade to name two examples‚ makes sense and is justified with the information of the text#in a way that works with and deepens the worldbuilding as well as the characterisation and throws light to what happened in the story#I can't even begin to tell the elation I've felt whenever I saw the little details I loved and gave weight to‚#all the while thinking I was giving them too much weight‚ turned out to have the importance I had given them#and click with everything else perfectly making a way more complex machinery‚ the sound of the gears more beautiful and harmonious#It makes me wish I could drink or kiss this story#I feel I have a string in my chest and the reverberations cause my blood to vibrate and the vibration is the echo of this story#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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accidentally proved my own point by reaching the tag limit so i'm finishing what i was saying here✋😭just uhhh pretend this is a really long tag up here
my POINT basically is spirituality and religion if used well will lead you to self reflect. and ideally be kind. it's spirituality. you can't see that shit, you can't prove a lot of it scientifically, everyone is gonna see the same thing differently, etc. it's floaty and fluid like gender. you cannot sit down and study it in a nice neat scientific way to prove if it's real or not and you cannot force it into boxes and say it's wrong when it stops fitting in the box it was never going to fit in. you can't reliably test if astrology or Loki or tarot or psychics are real or not. but that doesn't fucking matter anyway/nm
what matters is did it make you feel better? did it make you learn? did it make you change? did it make you kind? (and these questions are applicable to gender as well, and most things ever) that's testable
me personally my autistic brain eats this shit up like candy and looking at my chart has taught me how to better work with myself and my habits AND has given me an understanding of people who think differently than me. so i will keep doing it
if it makes you judge people for being born in the wrong month or judge people in general uhhh then maybe quit that idk✋‼️
by god i love yappin
Astrology doesn't seem to work.
#interrupting my lurking session to say things bc this is one of my special interest#i understand like maybe 15% of basic chart astrology#but my current stance on it (subject to change) is#there's different types of astrology#that people like#like there's tropical which is the one you hear about most chart included#sidereal which is the same signs and planets i believe but shifted a little#bc to my understanding someone somewhere was like 'but the stars n such are not gonna be in the same place August 9th 2024 as they were in#idk august 9 304AD#bc wibbly wobbly timy wimey#so like in tropical you could be a different sun sign or rising than in sidereal#and people relate to one chart or the other more#i currently prefer sidereal bc tropical was like 50% right and sidereal is at least 70% right with REALLY specific correct details#there's also vedic astrology which i know much much less about#and there's probably more#there's planets and asteroids that people read differently or not at all as well#like the lilith one#so basically there's so many versions that work differently for different people#so you can find what works for you bc ultimately#its. for u. to use to reflect on#and not to judge people with. bc even if it's fully correct#there's so many ways signs and houses and such can manifest#and your biases will always affect how you interpret it#it doesn't matter if it actually works or if you read it right bc when you read it you are literally forced to introspect and think#'do i act like this? has this happened to me? is there a way i'm like this that i didn't realize before? what's a different way of#interpreting this thing about myself? what stereotypes do i hold about this trait that could be seen in a different light?'#etc etc#like i have a gemini stellium (i have a lot of gemini energy basically)#am i talkative in person? FUCK no. im a recluse. but i have to reflect now to see in what ways i could be talkative#and what do you know. let my type and i Do Not Shut The Fuck Up
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i want more nuance to be entered into the discussion of the green girl sorority and how differently cynthia plays elphaba in comparison to those who came before her because while a lot of people are rightfully like "why was elphaba not black from the beginning" and celebrating that she is now being played by a black woman, i think we need to be careful in just writing off all the elphabas of the past as Random White Girls when the role was championed (and often followed/succeeded) by a jewish woman
the pop culture archetype of the Wicked Witch has deep roots in antisemitism stretching faaaar far back. there is a level of reclamation happening in casting idina menzel, a jewish woman, to play the Misunderstood and Maligned young girl who is branded as exactly that. and stage!Elphaba is also written and acted with jewish stereotypes in mind--she is loud, aggressive, no-nonsense, blunt. she is quick to advocate for herself and shut down the discrimination she faces. all of this is very intentional! her personality is abrasive from years of abuse, and that makes propagandizing her easy. this is literally the thesis statement of the musical--it's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed.
cynthia's performance of elphaba is fucking INSPIRED despite going in a completely different direction. she's much more reserved, analytical, one of her key character traits is how well she can read people (see her calling out Galinda as insecure/putting on airs in their first scene together, clocking that Fiyero is using his party guy persona as a shield for his own depression) elphaba's attempts to blend in and make herself smaller all fail simply because of her existence, if not that then because she feels empathy so strongly she often struggles to hold back from acting, protecting.
personality wise, though, cynthia's elphaba is very quiet and closed-off, not at all the bullet-to-the-face that she is in the stage show, and... she still gets propagandized and maligned. though this seems to contradict the other interpretation, it tells of the other end of the spectrum of propaganda, one that black women watching (and many, MANY other marginalized folks) are sure to identify with--it does not matter how "nice," how reserved, how small a black woman makes herself. a racist society will still scrutinize her every action for a way to parse ill intent from it, brand her as an angry black woman who is dangerous and wicked, and write off any humanity she has in the process.
these two very different interpretations tell of the lie of assimilation. the fact of the matter is, when you are marginalized, there is no way to sand down your edges enough to make the people oppressing you "accept" you. that is why wicked is a tragedy at its core. whether loud and aggressive or quiet and unimposing, there is nothing elphaba could have done to make the people of Oz see her as anything other than a scapegoat to blame all their problems on.
so while i definitely appreciate that people are excited for black girl era elphaba, i would encourage us all to still show appreciation for what came before--that was not white girl era elphaba. that was jewish girl era elphaba. two houses, both alike in dignity, two stories both worth being told.
#wordy wendy#wicked#wicked movie#wicked 2024#wendy rambles#wendy meta#honestly i get chills whenever im watching the movie#and it gets to 'her green skin is a twisted manifestorial of her true nature#' what a wham line. literally makes me sick to hear.
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Y'know I know I've said like a billion times I don't want to know shit abt Jackie's past but erm. Hi klei. Please just tell me if Josephine and Alan are her parents or some miscellaneous relative this is so important. Did Jackie seriously come from a household with a colonel and another person with a doctorate or does she just happen to be related to them this is so important for how I decide to move forward with my Jackie hcs and with my aus in general I need to know so bad tell me right fucking now
#rat rambles#oni posting#dude I was so sure that I didnt want to know anything abt Jackie's family situation but now I sure as hell fucking do#also if they are her parents then that'd mean she'd have a sibling named jonathan. and god of fucking course she would#my version of a jackie brother may be off in the wind but I would love a new one that she actually gets to have met this time#also to be clear the doctorate + colonel parent situation that Im desperate to know if I can act on is so perfect for jackie#like oh yeah of fucking course shed be a military kid why didnt I think of that first#back in my original hcs she had a brother who was an adult when she was born and was a part of the army#so in my minds eye this adds up perfectly and would to me explain a lot abt her#also the idea that j names run in the family is so fucking stupid I love it#also the fact that her maybe brother named their child after her is making me sick dont do that no child deserves that </3#the fact that its a middle name honestly makes it worse to me lol#god. god those 3 radio logs man. it makes me wonder so so hard#I doubt well get to fully know what happened there but if the colonel is her parent and theyre the same as the tragedy averted log mentions#then we suddenly have a situation in which the possibility of jackie having been involved in at best seriously threatening her parent or at#least relative's well saftey is a very real interpretation of these currently available logs#and I find that soooo fucking fascinating#now again that might not be the case as we just dont know enough#but as of now its a very real possibility and its one that excites me#the idea of jackie being willing to risk the life of a relative like that for the sake of sabotaging a rival and doing a publicity stunt#absolutely rules and I am in love with the concept go girlie go murder your maybe parent#also if I may discuss the timeline matters here shit is looking fucking wild#dude we now have an id that starts with x. like holy shit what the fuck#like there's a world where it's just a weird way of reacting it but like I genuinely dont know#could we be seeing some genuine late state gravitas shenanigans over here?#oh also we got another nikola mention lets goooo#also we have So many more rando names now and this is just with the logs we do have#we have the jackie relatives along with the inlaws mentioned in the same email ofc but we also have harold's son calvin and the x id#scientist I mentioned before b. boson#now boson actually is a potential dupe donor candidate considering we do in fact have a free b dupe to work with (<- is shaking violently)
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Rundown of the more interesting parts from the Necrits live stream with Christian Linke (Creative Director and Co-Creator of Arcane) :
There was a longer version of the Caitvi sex scene but they got bonked by the ratings people, and because it would have raised Leagues rating to mature, it got brought down to what we got.
The entire Caitvi sex scene was directed and animated by Fortiche with zero input by Riot. Christian says, "That was French people being French."
Riot making Arcane canon didn't change where they were taking characters or the story, it just made them more aware of how it would affect other Riot projects.
Christian refused to confirm exactly when the events of Arcane take place in the existing timeline.
The Arcane doesn't originate from Hextech. It is just one - in universe - interpretation of magic.
Christian doesn't view Viktor and Jayce's love as romantic, and that romance wasn't the intention when writing their relationship. However, by the way he talks, it doesn't seem he's against people shipping them romantically - just as a creative team, they were more interested in exploring a close, complex male friendship / brotherhood.
The 250-million dollar show budget number is not accurate as marketing is included in that fund. Fortiche's goal from the beginning was to bring the level of animation found in feature animated films to serialised content. While the show was very expensive for an animated series, it was way cheaper than an animated feature film because they try and work efficiently. As an example, Christian says how often in Hollywood, it's not uncommon for sometimes 40-50% of what is animated to end up on the cutting room floor while with Fortiche they try and keep it around 5%
Ekko's hair was changed from a mohawk to dreads because the artist who worked on him told them that black hair doesn't work like that (in reference to the mohwak), and here's how it would actually work.
Legends of Runterra affected Arcane in terms of giving the team inspiration for how the everyday street life is for people in the regions.
Caitlyn's LOR Tactical design (2021) and Warwicks VGU Voicelines (2017) were made to reflect what was going to happen in Arcane - production of Arcane just took a long amount of time.
They've said from the beginning that the only person who could ever defeat Viktor at the height of his power was Viktor himself. His story is about the glorious evolution, the pursuit of that, and what it actually means to remove these human elements until there is nothing left.
All projects Riot is working on - whether the MMO, Games, Written or Animated projects - are in talks with one another at all times.
Christian comments on how very few games have remain in service as long as League has, and because of its ever growing and evolving story, it's hard to bring everything together cohesively since everything was made at different times, in different era's, by a multitude of different people. So, while many things may be very cool creatively, it makes it impossible to successfully bring it all together more often than not. So for new projects, they are more focused on making something good and successful with the team and talent they have, even if it retcons or replaces content made in the past.
Christian pitched singing Heimerdinger.
Arcane's scripts for S2 were locked in before S1 was released, so they were not impacted by fandoms or online reactions. Christian thinks maybe some animation choices were influenced by things the animators saw online, but not the story.
When watching the premier of the final arcane episodes in LA - the entire 4000 seat theatre cheered when Maddie died.
The butterfly motif shared between Jayce and Viktor specifically was used to represent transformation.
Christian talked about how they don't think about really whether people will like something or not, but whether it's the right consequence for the story (this is in discussion to Caitlyn losing an eye). What makes a character likeable to an audience in his eyes is their decisions in the story; the choices that they make.
Continuing on from this, he comments on how the choices Caitlyn makes now are so different now compared to the beginning of the show. She is now willing to take risks and sacrifice parts of herself for people, for Piltover and for what is right.
When asked about Caitlyn's signature hat, Christian says that the team saw it as somthing that didn't really fit this version of Caitlyn they were writing and the person she becomes and that's why it was never incorporated into her designs.
Back in the beginning, when they were first working on Arcane, Christian would constantly going back to Jinx and Vi's original design artists & Riot August who was their champion designer to make sure they weren't messing anything up with these characters.
Christian goes on to tell an anecdote of when Paul 'Zeronis' Kwon was drawing the first concepts for Vi. This was back when Christian was in music. She didn't have a name at the time, but when Christian looked over Paul's shoulder at the art, he comments "she kinda looks like a Violet to me." They never spoke about it, but months later, when she became a serious character concept internally, she was gifted the name Vi. To this day, Christian doesn't know if his comment resulted in her name or if it was just a coincidence, but Violet became stuck in Christian's brain as Vi's true name. Riot August (who was in chat) then confirms that her name came from her tattoo, which came from one of her key design elements, being that she had the number 6 on her face. So, just a happy coincidence.
Talking about the tattoo. The tattoo was shrunken in size so, from a distance, it would look more like a beauty mark and the brain can more easily disregard it. One of the many things that they had to think about when translating the designs over as, is animation, you would be looking at a characters face a lot more than you do in league where the camera is situated top down.
As they were wrapping up the stream, Christian talks about how there always needs to be a bit of space between what content creators / content consumers do (pointing at Necrit) and what Riot does. He thinks it's good that there is space for criticism and a critical view of the things Riot does. In order to succeed, he believes they need to listen to their audience but also that they need to have their own vision, take risks, and be bold. It's a delicate balance in his eyes, and projects tend to fail when these two sides are too in cahoots.
He iterates that they are not trying to shove anything down anyone's throats. They are just trying to find what makes these characters cool, tell their stories, and be true to the regions they come from. With taking the characters from League to Arcane, it was important that they translate these stories and characters so they can hold up with the best storytelling in the world.
This circles back to the earlier point about retconning things and replacing past stories and content. He comments on how some characters are very outdated or too archetypal, but they still have an essence that people love about them.
Arcane was something Christian worked on for 9 years, and he was getting clearly emotional near the end. He also adds they're just getting started and he wants to make sure they do a good job with this IP and the characters we really love.
To those who are not happy with certain decisions, he's sorry they didn't hit what you personally wanted, but there is simply no way they can please everybody. While they are trying to make as many of the Riot / Arcane audience happy, they as the creators and artists need to follow their own compass, be the shepherds of this IP; that being creative is hard. They will keep doing that even if they sometimes have to ruffle some feathers.
He closes the stream by confirming that they are investing quite a bit in Noxas, Ionia, and Demacia for the next regions they explore.
#had fun writing this out#made me actually watch the entire live stream and pay attention#league of legends#arcane#caitvi#jayvik#ekko arcane#warwick#caitlyn kiramman#jinx#vi#arcane vi#ekko#caitlyn#legends of runeterra#arcane jinx#arcane caitlyn
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better leave your man at home!



mini stories of vi, sevika, abby, and ellie showing you your true worth.
wc : 7.306
contains : sfw and nsfw. fxf. fem!reader. cheating on the men's part until ellie's part lol. ellie’s is a modern!au the rest are in canon. mentions of violence and alcohol. silco but he's chill. owen but he's not chill. reader can be interpreted as bi or comphet i think!
a/n : ladies if you're reading this...cheat on him. or cheat back. yknow what just leave him.
VIOLET ꨄ
ʚɞ ever since getting out of prison and restarting her life, vi had been looking for a new purpose.
ʚɞ she had found a solid job, managed to reconnect with wither last siblings left alive, and started to build up a life for herself, but still, she felt...aimless. she longed for a deeper connection than the ones she had, someone she could yet again.
ʚɞ and then she meets you, a sweet little store owner with a voice that sounds like a symphony and an attitude as sweet as cookies. the first time she even met you she bumped into you on the street outside your bakery, knocking you supplies for your treats all over the ground. she's expecting that usual zaunite 'watch where you're going!' but instead you tell her not to worry, that you were carrying too many things anyway.
ʚɞ it was almost instinct for her to assure you she was at fault, downright demanding she help you carry everything that dropped inside and that it was the least she could do. you call her a sweetheart and tell her if she does you'll send her home with a plate of her favorite dessert. how could she say no?
ʚɞ she cant help but to quickly hang out with you whenever she can. after her shifts she stops by to help you close up, telling you its the least she could do for someone who was oh-so sweet. you seem to welcome her affections, whispering one late night when making some extra batter that you always appreciate when she stops by. she goes home on a high that night.
ʚɞ but then the worst thing ever happens. you get a boyfriend.
ʚɞ apparently he's some old family friend who moved back to the city when he found a small fortune overseas and was ready to come back to 'win you over like he tried years ago'. you told the story with a slightly wistful voice but all vi could do was nod along with wide eyes and a shut mouth.
ʚɞ eventually, she meets the guy, a tall and rather weasly looking guy who was waiting impatiently outside the store. she gave him a simple greeting and all he could do was tilt his head in recognition that she was there, apparently. she passed him and went to the back of the store and asked you what he was doing standing outside looking all suspicious. her eyes nearly bulged out of her head when you told her he was waiting to take you out but had to stand outside because he couldn't stand the smell of bread.
ʚɞ yeah, this definitely wasn't gonna last long. she’d just have to get you to see that.
ʚɞ sadly, she didn't have to do much work. ton a sunny day when the two of you were walking through the upper city levels together you stopped in your tracks, a talking vi whose arm was wrapped with yours questioning what made you stop before following your eyesight to see your boyfriend in the arms of another woman, way too close for comfort. vi wanted nothing more in that moment than to go and knock the bastard's lights out, but she had to prioritize you first.
ʚɞ you go into a depression for a week, your shop closed and your apartment locked as you skulk and cry in your home. but thankfully you gave vi a key not too long into your friendship, and she wakes you up one afternoon and demands you go and clean yourself up while she takes care of your chores.
ʚɞ you come out of the shower feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, your mood only lifting higher at the smell of cookies in the air. you pad out to the kitchen and cant help but smile when you see vi standing with a tray of perfectly made chocolate chip cookies on the island counter.
ʚɞ you sit up on your counter and moan at the taste of the cookies, vi accepting your praise of her baking skills with pride as she rubs over your bare thighs. eventually the topic steers to your recent heartbreak and vi makes sure you can complain and vent to her all you want.
ʚɞ but the last thing she wants to hear is you blaming yourself, teary-eyed and mumbling about how maybe you were too overbearing in your affections. she gently but sternly brings your attention to her, making sure you look her in the eyes when she goes on about how you’re the nicest and most soft-natured person she’s ever known and he was a fool to not see what an amazing woman he had in front of him.
ʚɞ and you cant help but feel even worse at the clear effect her affection has on you, unconsciously biting her lip at her praise and closeness. her eyes dart down to your lips and back to your eyes, slowly inching her head forward for permission. as soon as you slightly nod your head she’s kissing you with months of pent-up adoration, warmth, and lust.
ʚɞ a small part of you feels guilty for moving on to your close friend only a week after you broke up with your boyfriend, but when her fingers are drifting down to your cunt and making you cry as you cum over and over again, you can't find it in you to care.
ʚɞ “he was an idiot to give up on someone as sweet as you. but down worry muffin, i’m not gonna take that chance.”
SEVIKA ꨄ
ʚɞ sevika had made a promise to herself years ago: don't mess with married women.
ʚɞ she could give herself some grace, she was young and dumb, and the woman was incredibly gorgeous. and when a woman with legs that could bring any person woman or man to their knees comes up to you and asks you your plans for the night, you cant exactly pass up the opportunity. though she wishes she did after her partner caught them together in bed and she got in one of the worst fights of her life.
ʚɞ but she had to admit things in her life were getting a bit…stale, to say the least. her schedule was a steady routine of doing tasks for silco, reeling in jinx, and keeping the last drop working like a well-oiled machine. she didn't want anything drastic that would screw up their plans to happen, just…something.
ʚɞ and oh, does she get it. some out of towner got too rowdy in the bar and started a bar fight and before she could come in and get things under control theirams leg gets broken. so now she’s tasked with finding a good enough replacement to cover him for the few months it gets healed since he for some reason couldn't just take a shimmer dose and get back on his feet in no time.
ʚɞ she goes through dozens of recruits, all either too disobedient or downright atrocious behind a bar. she’s just about to give up and force one of the goons to do it when you come through the door. you’re rather unassuming, and at first she things you’re joking until you travel behind the bar and instruct her to give you any drink and you can make it. after ten different drinks she’s more than convinced.
ʚɞ she doesn't talk to you much at first, you’re just another cog in the machine that keeps the enterprise running smoothly. obviously she’s noticed that you’re attractive, surrounded by a stern but easy-going aura that makes most customers sit and want to talk to you for hours on end. it amused her when she watched how you convinced three different patrons to buy some more drinks so you’d continue telling them a wild story of some adventure you apparently had in bilgewater years back.
ʚɞ she can't help but ask you if its true later when the bar is closing and you’re wiping everything down, rolling her eyes when you call her out for listening to your conversations. you reveal that all your stories of adventure and excitement are true, but that you gave that life up when you decided to settle down after you get married.
ʚɞ she scoffs that the woman you married must be a hell of a catch to get you to leave behind such an exciting life, and she sees your eyes drop when you reveal that life with your husband is a nice and quiet alternative to your days of danger. sevika’s always had a good poker face, and she’s really glad she has it now after hearing you gave up all of that for a guy. and that her gaydar was apparently wrong, which never happens.
ʚɞ but its almost like this is the challenge her mind has been looking for, because after that conversation she keeps having late-night talks with you when no one else is around. you’re disarmingly easy to talk to, able to show a compassion and understanding that isn’t common for the folks down here. its only a few hours after she gets a bit too tipsy and accidentally lets slip a story about her upbringing that she lays in bed and slaps her human hand to her forehead in frustration when instead of being embarrassed all she can think about is your soft hand gently rubbing her shoulder as she poured her heart out.
ʚɞ she is so screwed.
ʚɞ eventually, you draw silco’s attention. mostly because the profits from the bar have nearly doubled since you started working, partly because he can tell a certain someone is distracting sevika. he gave her a list of tasks one day that he could tell she hated doing and she went off with a nod and without a word, and she either had a new woman in her life or she was about to snap. he made sure to find out about you a few minutes later, and asked/demanded to know more about your life. in particular, any outside connections you had.
ʚɞ sevika doesn't know whether she wants to thank silco or kill him when you’re given a more permanent position at the bar and finally introduce the crew to your husband, a man who silco has apparently given a job in his booking department. when sevika pulls him aside later to ask why he would od something like that, he just. shrugs. silco never just shrugs.
ʚɞ now that you’ve basically part of their little crime family it's even easier for sevika to spend more time with you. unfortunately for you jinx has taken a liking to you, but you handle it well and always make sure to give the girl her favorite drink in her favorite cup whenever she stops in the bar to babble on about some new weapon of mayhem she’s decided to make.
ʚɞ but after a few weeks she notices your mood start to sour, how you start getting snippy with some of the more rowdy drunks who stumble through the bar. she catches you a few hours after closing sat behind the bar with a half drunken bottle in your hand and mascara running down your cheeks. normally if this was anyone else she’d scoff to herself and quickly make her exit but instead she plops herself down next to you and demands you tell her what's wrong. through hiccups and tears, you tell her that you’re pretty sure your husband is lying to you. about a lot. in particular about where he spends his nights and comes back grumbling about ‘unfair bets’ and losing cash.
ʚɞ sevika assures you she’ll get to the bottom of it, and it only takes her a few hours of trailing thee guy to find out the problem. it seems your betrothed has been gambling your money away in seedy gambling circles, with some guys she swore she told to cut it out months ago when it came to rigging their dice when playing with tourists. but the amounts he’s using are definitely more than what either of you are making on a salary.
ʚɞ she tries not to smile when she picks the excuse of a man up by the back of his neck with her mech hand, reveling in the horrified look on his face as he makes up excuse after excuse for why he’s been stealing money from you and the boss, that he swears he’ll make it back up to silco-
ʚɞ you come in the next day as confused as ever, whispering that your husband packed up his things in the middle of the night and disappeared. sevika sits you down and explains that your husband was a thief, stealing hundreds from silco rather sloppily under his nose, and was dealt with in a timely manner. but she assures you that you won't be affected by any debts he may have had, she’ll make sure of it and make sure none of those gamblers come after you.
ʚɞ you only grow closer and closer after that night, and its no surprise you start to catch feelings for the gorgeous woman who constantly makes sure you’re safe and protected. its on one of the bars rather more exciting nights that you relent and play a drinking game with some members of the crew, and in a moment of weakness accidentally admit that since your husband left you haven't been laid in weeks, and in an additional moment of weakness admit that the first person you’d like to rock your world would be none other than silco’s second hand.
ʚɞ it was just your luck that the woman was walking by when the words left your lips, and fueled by her own dose of liquid courage came up behind you and whispered that she was free at that moment.
ʚɞ you expected many things when you settled down in zaun, and getting bent in half for hours on end by the second in command to the rule of the underground was not one of them. but when sevika groans in your ear and moans about how you have the tightest pussy she’s ever had the pleasure of taking, you’re really glad it happened to you.
ʚɞ “god, i’m really not gonna be able to stay away from you now. promise that the next time you get married you’re not gonna have to worry about being disappointed ever again.”
ʚɞ (when sevika walks in the next morning with a rare smile on her face silco does admit that he hired your husband knowing he’d be an idiot that she’d have to get rid of. you’re welcome.)
ABBY ꨄ
ʚɞ abby never saw herself as a jealous person. she’d only been in one relationship before, and even though it ended rather sourly she knew it was only natural that they’d both eventually move on. but when she sees you, a new wlf recruit walking and smiling side by side with owen, she feels…weird. really weird.
ʚɞ she does feel bad that as soon as he introduces you all to the group at a small party thrown by some of the soldiers all she can manage is tight-lipped smile and a small wave. you visibly deflate and smile it off, immediately pulled away by nora and leah to grab some drinks. manny butts her shoulder with his, giving her that ‘what the hell?’ look he loves to do. she defensively apologizes, because how should she react? her ex-boyfriend clearly has a thing for you, is she supposed to be all buddy buddy with you?
ʚɞ it doesn't help that its clear to everyone that you’re pretty. like, weirdly pretty for someone in the middle of an apocalyptic setting. crystal clear skin, smooth lips, and eyes of a beautiful shade. she caught herself staring once in the gym as you laughed with one of the trainers and had to quickly get herself together.
ʚɞ isaac must be playing a sick game because you then get assigned to go with her on patrol. she initially resented, questioning why you were tagging along when you mostly worked with the medics and mel was already trailing along. he said that apparently you had asked for the chance to get some more field practice and left it at that, dismissing her with a wave.
ʚɞ she was quiet for most of the ride to the patrol spot, hands tight on the steering wheel as you sat in the back of the truck with the others in the group and laughed at some story one the guys was talking about.
ʚɞ god, even your laugh is cute, she thinks as she carefully maneuvers the truck around a downed tree. youre like if a dream girl was placed down in this wasteland to torture her, a giant sign to tell her of course owen went after you, you were perfect. more perfect than she could be.
ʚɞ it isnt helpful that shes left partnered with you as you clear out the abandoned store in the strip mall they've all been sent to check and re-clear the spaces if necessary. she finds herself frustrated when you very reasonably and very smartly stick to her side the whole time. she swears she almost trips over an overgrown branch when she catches a whiff of your soap and she doesnt know where the hell you managed to snag vanilla flavored anything.
ʚɞ everything is fine for a while. you both remain vigilant as you walk through the barely lit aisles of the department store, the only action when a clicker jumps up out of nowhere and nearly tackled you before she’s roughly pushing you out of the way and kicking out its knees before bashing in its head with her boot. she’s panting and catching her breath before roughly asking if you were alright and reminding you to stay vigilant, taking your wide eyed stare for shock at a close encounter to what would be a rather painful death.
ʚɞ but despite her rather abrasive attitude you try your best to be friendly with her. you reveal that owen did confide about their past relationship, and as awkward as the situation sometimes was you wouldn’t let it drive a wedge between you, that you in fact wanted to be friends with abby. you had heard a great many things about her, how she was a loyal friend, a courageous leader, clearly an incredibly strong soldier-
ʚɞ her brain. short circuits a bit. the way you called her strong, like it was fact that was so obvious that she’d already proven it to you just by being out here. sure she’d pushed you of out the trajectory of that clicker but that was normal, anyone should and would do the same. she realizes you wouldn’t get the chance to see any displays of strength like that back in the base save for the visits to the gym, and a foreign voice in her head laments what a shame that is.
ʚɞ she doesn’t realize until a day later just how screwed she is.
ʚɞ whatever weird…feelings she has for you don’t even get a chance to go away or settle, just fester and multiply with your constant presence. where abby is her friends are close by, and that now includes you. at small get togethers, shared gym workouts, breakfast lunch and dinner hangouts, you’re always there with a bright smile and a warm greeting for her. she thinks she’s hiding whatever it is she’s hiding pretty well until nora pulls her to the side and asks why she just keeps staring at you whenever you’re around, that she understand there might be some lingering feelings of jealousy and resentment towards owen but that’s no reason to treat you rudely.
ʚɞ abby stumbles over her words, insisting that she’s not treating you rudely, that’s the last thing she would want to do. who would ever do that to someone as nice and sweet and gorgeous as you? she ends her mini explanation with a stiff chuckle and looks at nora who’s now staring at her with an open mouth and a flabbergasted look on her face.
ʚɞ so it’s clear that abby likes you. she doesn’t know how to grapple with the fact, and decides its best to just deal with it privately and wait for it to just pass as most things do. the only person who knows is nora, who after not talking to her for a few hours after their last encounter came back to abby’s room to apologize for walking out on her in a moment where they so clearly needed to talk more about what was just revealed. she assures abby that she’ll help her through this but it’s very confusing to herself as well. it’s not every day you have to deal with your best friend falling in love with her boyfriends new girlfriend.
ʚɞ she doesn’t agree with abby’s method, frequently telling her that dealing with this in private will only have the opposite effect. and just like normally she’s right, abby’s increased attempt at distance from you only peaks your worry and drives you to constantly check in on her to make sure she’s okay. one day you come by her room after one of your workouts, and the sight of you covered in a thin sheen of sweat in shorts and a tank asking her sweetly if she’s feeling okay and if she’d like to join you for lunch let’s her know for sure that she really can’t do this for much longer.
ʚɞ so she’s tries her best to try a different approach : exposure therapy. as bad as it sounds, she’s sure once she starts spending more time with you she’ll realize you aren’t some mythical girl of of her dreams and are just a normal person who’s dating her ex and who she can totally just be normal friends with. she comes up to you in the halls a few days later and asks if you’d like her to help you train for more field work and you beam up at her before wrapping your arms around her neck and thanking her a multitude of times before composing yourself. you go one about how you were so eager to prove yourself and you’d do no better than to have the abby anderson teaching you the basics. she zoned out as soon as she felt your skin against the back of her neck, nodding along to all of your words with a doe-eyed blank look.
ʚɞ it’s really nice bonding with you over the course of a few short weeks. you quickly pick up on the things she teaches you, and whatever you don’t she’s more than eager to help you learn. she hates to admit it but her conscious cheered a little bit when you told her you needed help aiming one of the bigger rifles, and it nearly screamed when she got to place herself behind you and helped you aim at the target practice. maybe she’s a bit delusional at this point but she swears she felt your body relax into hers, felt your breath stutter just a bit when her chest met your back.
ʚɞ and she knows it’s serious when she trusts you enough to share her space in the library. it’s a night when manny has a girl over so she’s in her usual cozy spot surrounded by the book shelves when she shears your gentle footsteps and call of her name, remarking that you initially went to the room out of loneliness about owen being gone for the night but came here when a breathless and shirtless manny told you her usual sleepover spot. she invites you to settle in with her in her heap of old blankets surrounded by dusty novels, trying her best to remain calm when you lean your head on her shoulders and insisted she keep reading her current book aloud.
ʚɞ she wakes up to the early morning light with her head rested on top of yours, snuggled up to battle the chill of the stadium air and your hand clamped around her arm. when she looks down at your face and wishes she could see you like this every day she realizes that she is really, really screwed.
ʚɞ luckily she doesn’t have to wait long to see you like that again. well, the circumstances are rather horrid. yet another soldier was having small secret party ok one of the larger stadium dorms and you were glued to abby’s side. everyone besides nora was confused but happy that the two of you seemed to be getting along so well, and nora herself kept giving abby looks that were a mixture between pity, worry, and just a bit of ‘you need to just get this off of your chest to anyone else but me’ annoyance.
ʚɞ abby was your designated drink manager, constantly making sure you weren’t too drunk and were drinking enough water to stave off any of the negative effects of the smuggled in alcohol they brought in for the party. you’re both sitting on one of the couches and observing the party when you make an off handed comment about not seeing owen for a while and abby decides to sit you down snuggly on the couch while she goes to look for him to appease your tipsy haze. her search leads her down the hallway, and it’s only when she hears an object drop in a nearby maintenance closet does she find out the truth.
ʚɞ she whips open the door to see owen and mel in a rather…well, let’s just say a really lewd position. in the midst of being disgusted and infuriated she finds a bit of amusement at mousy mel of all people doing a drunken hookup in a dingy closet. owen hurriedly tries to fix himself and his pants, insisting to abby that it’s not what it looks like, and suddenly his eyes lock on an object behind her and she turns around to see you, teary eyed and clearly betrayed before you silently stoop off to the direction of your own room.
ʚɞ abby is normally a calm person. as a soldier she isn’t afforded the luxury to let her emotions get the better of her in moments of stress. but seeing you with tears in your eyes and a wobbly lip makes her wish she broke owen’s nose on the spot. collecting all of her composure, she slaws the closet door in his face and quickly runs after you.
ʚɞ she quickly chases after you, making her way down the stadium halls until she finds your bedroom door agape, quickly knocking and entering when she hears your quiet cry demanding owen leave. she makes sure to announce who she is once she settles in beside you on your bed, gently extending her hands to make sure shes allowed to physically comfort you before pulling you into a tight hug once you let her know it’s okay.
ʚɞ she had again struggles to keep her composure when you cry into her shoulder, not minding the tears staining her t-shirt when she hears you weep about what a fool you wer, how you were such an idiot to believe that someone like him could truly care about you.
ʚɞ in the morning, she can blame the weeks of pent up feelings, or maybe the cup of beer she had an hour before, but she can’t stop herself from grabbing your shoulders and turning you towards her, commanding your attention before she reveals that should’ve warned you about owen earlier, that she should’ve known he would take advantage of someone with as sweet a nature as you. She’s always known he was a fool, but to ruin his chances of someone like you is the dumbest thing he ever could’ve done.
ʚɞ when you sniffle and look up at her with those shiny eyes and puffy lips and ask her if that’s true she feels her composed facade slipping, hands shaky as she reaches up to wipe your tears away before letting her palm letting her fingers trail down your face, biting her lip when she sees your eyelids flutter closer when her hands start to ghost down your neck.
ʚɞ she doesn’t feel sorry when she watches you take off your top, doesn’t feel guilt when she pushes you down to the bed and lets her lips bite and kiss from your neck to her chest and draw out all manners of whines and gasps from your throat. and when she feels your hips lift up and grind into her crotch, when her hands attach themselves to your hips and forces you to bring yourself to an orgasm in your pants, she doesn’t give a shit how it’ll seem when she parades you around the stadium tomorrow.
ʚɞ manny and nora are open mouthed and shocked when you walk hand in hand into the cafeteria the next morning, both starry eyed and covered in love bites as you sit together nearly attached at the hip. when owen walks in a few minutes later and quickly storms out after seeing the two of you, abby can’t help but shrug when manny asked her what the hell is going on.
ʚɞ “owen had his chance, and he should learn that jealously is a monster.”
ELLIE ꨄ
ʚɞ in moments like these ellie remembers laughing at how her fellow lesbians would fall for their straight friends in middle and high school and end up with broken hearts and broken friendships. and now as she sits across from you and listens to you lament about your boyfriend, she realizes that karma is real and she is totally a bitch.
ʚɞ truly, she has no one to blame, but herself the moment she saw you walk into the record store she worked at she knew that this would only lead to trouble for herself. It was obvious to Dina, who lightly pushed his shoulder and told her to stop drooling and to focus on her work and not fall into another relationship so soon after her catastrophic breakup with cat. she had rolled her eyes at the brunette and assured her nothing would happen, that she’d politely introduce herself, help you buy a product, and never think about or see you again.
ʚɞ god, what an idiot she was.
ʚɞ as soon as she introduced herself, you complemented her tattoo, mention that you had wanted one but were too indecisive about a design and placement. before she can even think of what she wants to say she’s telling you that wouldn’t mind hooking you up with her tattoo artist who could help you decide what you wanted. hell, she wouldn’t mind helping you decide what kind of vibe you were going for when it came to the body art and where exactly on your body would be best to showcase it.
ʚɞ you’re beaming up at her and thanking her, telling her that she really is just too kind. she’s even kinder when she continues to talk to you as she helps you look through the store, helping you decide which record would be best for your collection.
ʚɞ and helping you pick out another record as a gift. for your boyfriend. she can hear dina snicker at the counter all the way from three aisles away, passing it off as allergies when you turn to look at her.
ʚɞ but it’s not like she’s gonna fall for you. she gives you her number, but that’s because she already promised she’d help you with the tattoo stuff. and sure she talks with you for hours the following week and even goes with you to the parlor for moral support, but that’s because she’s a good person! and you even told her she’s a great friend for helping you with this! she’s just being friendly.
ʚɞ soon enough she basically becomes your new best friend. she doesn’t know how it happened really, somewhere between helping you when your car broke down in the middle of the road and having dinner with your parents when they demand to meet the person who’s been taking up an extra chunk of their daughters time. it’s frightening how easy it is to just be with you, to talk to you about any and everything. she remembers it took dina pestering her at work for weeks for them to become friends, and here she is laughing with your dad over roasted chicken after a month.
ʚɞ dina and jesse call her delusional. when the former shows the latter a picture of you on the instagram account you have to ellie he folds over in laughter and tells ellie oh so eloquently that she’s definitely going to fall for you, it’s only inevitable. but she remains vigilant that she wouldn’t do something so dumb. i mean yeah you’re basically exactly her type, like a deity went into one of her wet dreams and plucked the woman she manifested and placed you in the real world, but she was strong. there were plenty of fish in the sea. plenty of gay fish, to be exact.
ʚɞ she tries to go on dates, scrolls through tinder and likes every other attractive viable woman she sees. she even manages to have a few hookups. its really just a coincidence that they have some of your similar characteristics, truly. she’s not actually looking for you in any of these girls, that’d just be weird.
ʚɞ but then it happens. she has a girl over, her leg thrown over her shoulder as she grinds herself into the pretty girl’s cunt. she’s lost in a high after the blunt they’d shared earlier and her heads thrown back as she’s letting out expletive after expletive, and then she does it. she moans your name. she pauses, the girl pauses, and its silent as they remove their entangled limbs from each other and rigidly lay in bed side by side. it hurts even worse than the embarrassment when the girl pats her shoulder with a smile after she’s put her clothes back on, wishing her luck with whatever’s goin on between the two of you.
ʚɞ there’s no point in denying it then. she doesn't even get the chance to keep it to herself, the next day when she’s watching a movie on your couch you poke and prod at her until she reveals what’s got her in such a sour mood. she doesn't tell you the full story, of course, just that something absolutely mortifying happened last night when she was riding some girl. she groans that she didn't even get to finish and that was way worse then what she said, hoping the joke will ease some of the embarrassment she has telling the story and the guilt about passively lying to you.
ʚɞ she doesn't notice how you hips shift in your seat, how your teeth bite at the skin of your lip. she does notice when you question what she meant by riding a girl. she cant help but think about how adorable you are before explaining the position in the nicest way possible. you hum and turn your attention back to the movie and she thinks that's the end of the conversation. but only seconds later you’re asking her to show you.
ʚɞ she thinks she's dreaming. no, she knows she's dreaming. its happened before, weird dreams she has after a strong high where she swears her dreams become all the more vivid and lifelike. it was super annoying the second time it happened, she woke up to a world where she in fact did not win the lottery and get to make out with her celebrity crush. but this is just cruel, she didn't know her brain could be so masochistic. but no, the feel of your hand shaking her shoulder and shyly asking if you’ve made her uncomfortable is real, your big eyes flitting to anywhere but hers is real.
ʚɞ she stutters over her words, asking if you really mean it. and you say yeah, you’d been curious about this anyway. it wouldn't hurt to do it with ellie, you were friends, right? and god what an idiot she was because she’s nodding along like of course, this couldn’t make your friendship weird at all, right? so she gets to work, not doing anything too lewd except for gently pushing you to lie on your back as she maneuvers her body over yours, placing her crotch over yours until she can feel the heat of you through her jeans. she tries not to show a reaction to the sight of you looking up at her, curious and flushed as your hand briefly comes up to rest on her hip. its only when your hips delicately press up into hers that she abruptly removes herself from on top of you, stiffly chuckling before recommending you get back to the movie.
ʚɞ neither of you bring it up again.
ʚɞ it’s so much more difficult to be around you now. before she was resolute in the fact that she was alone in whatever weird feelings she had towards you, but eventually she might move on. but with only a few actions you threw that whole viewpoint out the window. now it was clear that you were interested. maybe not in ellie but in sex with another woman. a small part of her is upset at the fact it might not be her. its only cliche that if you started having these feelings you’d fall for your gay best friend, who the hell else were you thinking about? whatever, that wasn't important.
ʚɞ what was important was what occurred over the next few weeks. it happens slowly but surely, your complaints about your intimate troubles with your boyfriend. now ellie had met the guy before, and it made her feel slightly better that she had a valid reason right from the start not to like him. the man was clearly an ass, looking her up and down the first time they met and giving her a ‘yeah you’re weird’ look that he apparently didn’t think she’d recognize. luckily she didn’t have to see him often, only seeing him in passing when she spent time with you at yours or picked you up to go hang out.
ʚɞ but now his weirdness is apparently front and center. she nearly chokes on her chipotle when you tell her that he questioned why the two of you were spending so much time together, feeling like ellie was going to make a move on you.
ʚɞ and yeah, it was offensive. just because she was a lesbian didn’t mean she wanted to jump the bones of every woman she met. unfortunately that didn’t apply here because she very much did want to jump your bones. not like he knew that. hopefully.
ʚɞ but she doesn’t want to get in the way of your relationship, begrudgingly recommending that maybe the two of you should spend some time apart so he can chill out and realize he’s being paranoid. she’s very happy to hear your quick rebuttal, remarking how you’d rather dump him then spend any more time away from her.
ʚɞ god you are making this so confusing. and it only reaches a head the next time she sees you. you’d texted her to ask if she could come over late at night and obviously she said she would, along with a bag of your favorite drinks and snacks just in case you got peckish. so she’s sitting on the couch as you both eat some shareable m&ms when the topic becomes a bit more…intimate.
ʚɞ she notices your rigid shoulders as you sit stark straight on the couch and laughs about how pent up you must be. your following laugh is awkward as you agree that you have been a bit stressed lately. so she tells a joke, that your boyfriend isn’t up to par in bed. she expects you to laugh and hit her shoulder but you nod your head.
ʚɞ you…nod your head. and then you turn to her, and she’s getting flashbacks to the last time you were this close on your couch. her face is hot as whisper that the past few times you’ve tried to sleep with your boyfriend he, as you eloquently put it, ‘just pumps and dumps’, and brushes you off whenever you bring up the fact that you haven’t had a release. that as much as it ashamed you to say it, once he falls asleep next to you you sometimes find your hand trailing under your shorts and thinking back to her stories of the hookups she told you about, wishing she could show you how all of that felt.
ʚɞ ellie has always liked your bedroom. its soft and sweet, with vines of fake ivy hanging across the ceiling and a large canopy hanging over the bed. you even have an adorable collection of stuffed animals, a few of them gifted to you by her throughout the months of your friendship. all of the little guys have been shoved to the floor now, and for a fleeting moment she things they’re really just going to have to understand before her mind is consumed again with you, how you’re pretty flushed face is staring and moaning up at her as her wrist nearly cramps with how fast her fingers are pistoning into your wet cunt.
ʚɞ you haven’t even touched her and she’s already on cloud nine. your confession nearly made her pass out, and she swore she had died and gone to heaven when you asked her to help you with your problem and grabbed her hand to lead her to your bed. it was like her horniest dream come true to see you undress, to feel over your skin, to lower her head to your pussy and try her best to suck out your soul in the most loving way possible.
ʚɞ she feels her boxers get soaked when you cum around her fingers again, legs wrapping around her waist and head raising to muffle your sounds in her shoulder. she swore she nearly came when you bit into her shoulders, already knowing she was going to look into the mirror later to look at the mark your teeth left on her with a smile. but she didn’t predict for you to be so insatiable, for as soon as she pulls her fingers out of your cunt you’re whining and grinding your hips up into hers, whispering little *‘please, el, need more’*s
ʚɞ “don’t worry, baby, i’ll give you whatever you want. swear once i’m done you’re never even gonna think of that stupid boyfriend of yours again.”
#woooooo#so long#whyd i do that#first sevika thing clap for me#first canon tlou writing clap for me again#arcane#tlou#the last of us#arcane x reader#tlou x reader#vi#vi arcane#vi x reader#vi smut#sevika#sevika x reader#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson smut#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut
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