#when love is the missing word
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Michael Cretu has quite a strange arsenal of soundscapes at his disposal, which reflects his 80's – a they felt like a cheap imitation of the era, but don't take this as a criticism. I actually admire what he did, because he made sure the stuff still sounds interesting. His duet with Thiers is probably one of those things that sound so parodically 80's they became enchanting in a way. Sure, every sonic cliche is present, though Cretu does have an incredible grip on the athmosphere. He seems to be aware he doesn't have the best equipment, so instead of going into pyrotechnics he goes into a fog. This actually prepared him really well for what he intended to do with Enigma, the latter went wild in this approach.
#Youtube#cretu & thiers#belle epoque#when love is the missing word#michael cretu#tissy thiers#peter weihe#curt cress#simon phillips#80's music#synthpop
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The Crown Prince
#my art#Yes this is meant to parallel the Reiju piece and I will be drawing Yonji and Niji next.#those are judge's hands in case it wasn't clear but hopefully the hair does that?#Anyways to chatter about this a little#I just like that the trio are trapped within bodies that are forced to comply to Judge and have no desire to do otherwise#No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.#but it also raises the question what will happen to them when he dies and Ichiji becomes King (presumably)#they've been so sculpted to follow his every word how far can they make it without an outside force commanding them.#could they have been “saved” if they had Sora's exterior voice commanding them to do good? But to what extent does that qualify as good#since it's arguable if they would ever be truly choosing it for themselves#Anyways the Vinsmokes are NOT okay and I hope that gets explored more#I love characters whose moral code begins and ends with “It is my purpose” so I don't like to think they're inherently bad entities#I like to think they're inherently hollow vessels filled with intentions of another person#because that opens a far more interesting conversation about selfhood and accountability.#Very fond of fanfictions where they don't need to gain emotions to learn error#Also fond of fanfictions where Ichiji kisses men. If you've made it this far maybe recommend me one.#I have more cohesive thoughts on this but it's almost midnight ask me if you want to know more I promise I'm usually very articulate#if I'm missing something I haven't actually gotten to them in the story yet.#one piece#one piece fanart#ichiji vinsmoke#germa 66#vinsmoke ichiji
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Children of Rannoch: Notable Quarians aboard the Rayya
Children of Rannoch - A Quarian Overhaul (LE2)
(template)
#mass effect#mass effect mods#children of rannoch#masseffectedit#kal'reegar#veetor'nara#zaal'koris#shala'raan#daro'xen#han'gerrel#kar'danna#dailygaming#gamingedit#quarians#this took me 2 days to make pls clap#first time using a template it was rough going at first#but once i got into the groove it was alright#i could write 100000 words on how much i love this mod#the suit diversity - the different hoods and ornamental items on them#every quarian feels unique even the ones in the background#i don't think we appreciate han's missing eye enough#i love how its scarred over#xen's golden claws always get me along with raan's arm plates#i adore the different pieces koris and han have added to their suits#and their hoods! i tried my best to show off different details#having to look up their names exactly gave me whiplash when i saw how they look “canonically"#edain's edits
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Shotout to Leona and Cheka for singlehandedly getting me out of the worst artblock I've had in months, love these guys
Tbh I just wanted to draw Cheka doing that one thing kids do when they treat you like a climbing tree, I have other drawing about that but it's a work in progress, it was supposed to be animation practice but Ibis got some crunchy quality on the canvas if you don't pay so. Yeah. Also Grim is here bc why not
#twisted wonderland#twst#leona kingscholar#cheka kingscholar#twst cheka#twst leona#i love em they are so funny#also first time drawing cheka leona and grim i hope you don't mind one or two little design headcanons#i just think that he looks good with curly hair#anyways when I tell you I was struggling with Leona's arm#but ehhhh it worked out.#maybe. I hope so#if this flops I'll cry/j I spent too long on this shit#also god I fucking hate drawing details I hate em if the character has more than two colors in their fit I'm going to complain like a bitch#anyways I missed rambling on the tags can you tell#i drew something#spent too long on details that aren't even noticeable unless you zoom in ughhhh#twst fanart#alt text#i hope the alt text isn't confusing. I always try but i'm not good with words so i'm never sure if it's as clear as I think it is#twst grim#grim twst#ain't that the same tag#grim twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fanart
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pains me that there's simply not enough info on star wars in-universe entertainment and pop culture for my liking. i want to know what star wars version of the godfather looks like. i wanna know what kind of space fanfiction a pantoran teenager would read, the kind of space tiktok edits they would make. i want to know the star wars equivalent for whatever the hell that is happening with ben affleck and matt damon. i want to see a coruscant news outlet publish an article with a headline "M'ett Sp'Amon not wearing a wedding ring again during another visit to Beng Spifflek's house. which could mean nothing"
#i hope there's a picture going around the holonet thats like “rpf is fine” (c) grandmaster yoda#star wars#remember when there was that ancient star wars internet forum during prequels release that would post little snippets of news from coruscan#i miss that i need that that would've been so fun#make idk like a fake twitter account for planet or a city that woukd publish little things like that#and have reoccurring news reporter and celebrity characters#okay apparently a combination of the words space and tik tok kinda sounds like something else so im editing this sorry peace and love
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i miss qsmp outlast trials so here's a list of my favorite parts of qsmp outlast trials
hearing baghera get increasingly more french from halfway down the hallway bc the goons are hassling her and she can't find the objective
jaiden screaming like she's being killed irl anytime something moves
cellbit being half a mile away completing the objective on his own
quackity always managing to be the last man standing bc he spends the round cowering in hidey holes and then gets teased mercilessly by the dead chat bc he's the only one who can res them
slimecicle stepping on all of the glass in a half mile radius
slimecicle kiting the monsters around a couch like a god gamer
cellbit eating snacks and giggling while watching everyone else do the tutorial
roier being absolutely fucking goated at the arm wrestling minigame and then like two rounds later having the sharpest and fastest skill fall off i have ever seen
foolish and jaiden taking turns getting scared by nothing and winding each other up
that one round where jaiden got attacked like three times within two rooms of the entrance
cellbit going I'M DYING I'M DYING and hearing quackity's muffled voice in a hiding spot down the hall go NOT ME I'M ALIVE BITCH
everyone and their mom drinking health by mistake while attempting to hand it off to their teammate
roier blasting freddy's music box into the mic to fuck with quackity
mouse freaking jaiden out by joining the discord call and saying hello while they were in a game
jaiden saying "eat brick" or "eat glass" every time she throws an item
cussing in whatever language they remember first
roier ducking all the tin can noise traps even while actively being chased
"welcome to brazil's first radio station [royalty free music plays]"
every time roier is in danger he yells for quackity. quackity is halfway across the map. he has nothing. he is screaming.
#qsmp#i also just miss it in general but the 3:30 am mood is specifically for those outlast trial moments#shut up vic#block game brainrot#honestly i just love the moments when baghera starts getting more french it's always fucking amazing#she doesn't even say words she just starts making angry french noises and it's absolutely amazing 10/10#freed from the drafts in honor of the upcoming spooky season#perhaps we can bring these back............. :')
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The Pleasure's All Mine - Chapter One
Based on this post from @winterrbluess
If Shibuya had a pulse, it would be at the rate of a hummingbird's wings.
The human race operates at a speed that oftentimes seems too quick to catch up with. It had been that way ever since you moved to the city for work about three years ago.
You came for a corporate job made up of ink black suits and pencil skirts, smiles that felt more on the side of uncanny valley than they did of genuine kindness, and handshakes from skin cold with carpal tunnel. You lived a corporate life. Everything is muted tones of tan and relies heavily on the concept of "modernizing". You wake up, go to work, go home, work on what you couldn't finish at the office, fall asleep on your colorless coffee table, and wake up to your alarm going off what feels like hours too soon. It was a cyclical cycle.
And the day you broke it, happened to be the day you met Sukuna.
~
You noticed the new shop on the end of the street maybe three weeks ago. It was so out of place, after all. The building was the only non-skyscraper to be seen on the block. It was a shriveled up little thing, built out of chipping brick that seemed to teeter on the edge of dilapidation from the inability to meet building codes. Overgrown ivy crawled up the sides of it and it still had plots of dirt in the front for planting as opposed to concrete and metal benches.
When you had first seen the For Sale sign a few months ago, you were sure they were going to tear it down and pave over it- happy to be rid of the only spot of character left in the business district. Then a new sign appeared over the door, one that looked hand carved out of wood and haphazardly painted over so that you could make out the words "Carnation King".
It’s funny, flowers had never been much of an interest to you. You had seen them as just another task to take care of when you returned home after a long day. Even filling a vase with water always sounded like more effort than it was worth. But as the days blend together from monotony, you find yourself desperate for color.
You changed your walking route to work so that you can pass by the shop everyday. You knew nothing about flowers. You could barely tell a rose bud apart from a tulip, but that didn't stop you from ogling at the new bouquets and potted plants that lined the sidewalk every time you passed them. Signs made out of toothpicks and painters tape said words like “Butterfly Ranunculus” and “Brown-Eyed Susan” and learning their names became one of your favorite things to do. You never stepped foot inside, and yet the flower shop was now one of your happy places.
You would meander by on your lunches and watch the butterflies play. You would walk by in the morning and smell freshly watered earth still hanging in the air. On your way home, when the sun was at its fullest shine, you would walk beneath the misters hung under the lip of the roof, and the coolness of the water droplets left behind on your skin saw you all the home.
You hadn’t realized how important the flower shop was to your daily routine until the day it was interrupted.
It happened to be one of the only days you had been forced by your workload to stay past sunset for overtime. You didn’t do it for the money, you did it because your boss had asked you nicely. But as you finally exit the office building for the night, you find yourself regretting staying so late.
You hated walking home in the dark. Even though Japan was notorious for its low crime rates, that didn't mean it was an innocent city. After 9pm, your street was notorious for being a ghost town. The only signs of life were the few work martyrs left in their floor to ceiling window offices- acting as makeshift streetlights. There were only a few lights on the way home, and their solidarity only seemed to pronounce the darkness along the rest of the empty roadside. When you were just an intern, before you got better hours and were finally promoted to the shining 9-5 that everyone dreams about, you used to take your heels off and sprint back to your apartment. Always weary of what you couldn’t see. At the time, you didn’t know that the scariest people don’t have to hide in the dark.
You hadn’t planned on walking past the shop that night. It was closed. It had to be. Normal flower shops closed well before 7 pm let alone 9. But the moment you touch the sidewalk outside your building, you see light glowing against the dense night.
The shop at the end of the street was draped in tiny fairy lights. Every square inch of brick was twinkling slowly, glimmering like resting fireflies. It looked almost otherworldly in comparison to the towering pitch black shadows of corporate offices surrounding it. In fact, the effect of the glowing lights against the mirror windows made it look like the shop was hanging in space.
Outside, the flowers you had walked past in the afternoon had been replaced with new pots, overflowing with buds you had never seen before. The usual delicate smell of Honeysuckle and Roses was now one of the sweetest scents you had ever experienced, so sweet, you could almost taste it on your tongue. Warm golden light floods out of the shop's window and the numerous white and yellow petals seem to gather and hold onto its dull shine.
You didn’t even realize you had completely abandoned your original plan of taking the shortcut home until you were standing in front of the Carnation King with your eyes entranced on the display before you. One flower in particular had caught your eye, a huge luscious display of delicate tow-colored petals, tall with endless growth and reaching towards the moonlight as though it’s been waiting all day to see it. You can’t help but reach out to touch, and yet just before your fingertips make it, you feel coolness trickling onto your hand, breaking the spell that the lights and colors had placed on you.
"Evening Primrose."
The suddenness of a voice beside you should have put you in fight or flight mode. It should have been a cold bucket of water to the face. Adrenaline spiking, you should be sprinting in the opposite direction. Instead, you found the tranquil trance that the flowers had put you in to have a lasting effect.
You blink at the man who seemed to appear out of thin air standing next to you, and the first thing you notice are his eyes. Such a dark shade of golden rich hazel-brown, they were nearly shining like two cuts of Cat’s-Eye. They gleamed suspicion.
He was much taller than you, but where most are lanky you can see strong muscles and broad shoulders. Collared sleeves rolled halfway up his arms revealed skin kissed rich and deep by prolonged sunshine. Tattoos slithered around his wrists and had made their way to his sculptured face, meticulously drawn black lines frame an annoyed expression. When you see the rest of him, you’re certainly not expecting to notice tufts from a head of true strawberry blond hair hang in his frigid gaze.
In one of his hands is a water can, still pouring trickling water onto your momentarily petrified fingertips, and in the other hand is a cigarette, only a third of the way lit.
The sight of him takes you so far back, if the sound of his voice wasn’t still echoing in your head you might not have remembered that he had even said anything to you.
"I'm sorry?" You pull your hand away from the water spray, drying it on your slacks.
The man takes half a drag of the cigarette before he answers you. Slow and unrushed. "They're called Evening Primrose.” He speaks through a cloud of tobacco smoke, glancing at the flowers that had caught your eye. His lip twitches slightly, "Need full sunlight but only bloom in moonlight. Fickle bastards."
Okay. Owner. Mean owner. Unexpectedly rough-and-tumble looking for being the caretaker of a flower shop. You glance at his apron, but you don’t find a name tag. He takes a step back while you’re searching for it, but he only moves far enough to start watering the next plant on the table.
You look back to the Evening Primrose, and even the smell of the burning cigarettes is nothing in the face of the scent that had pulled you in earlier. The two flavors mix like a tea garden on fire. You caress the petals once more, unthinkingly.
"They smell incredible." You mutter, mostly to yourself.
"Not them.” His voice is colder than his eyes. He flicks a bit of ash onto the cement behind him, and tilts his head in the direction of a different bush, one that’s even bigger than the healthy Primrose, with hundreds of tiny buds that flutter in the nighttime air. “That'd be her."
"”Her”?" You repeat, wondering if you heard the man correctly.
"Night Jasmine." He answers in return.
As standoffish as he was, you still found yourself making mental notes of the names he had given you. When you look at the Night Jasmine directly, it’s clear that the wind was sweeping that delicious smell straight from the direction of its honey-hued petals. You’re not sure you had seen plants like this at even the most expensive hotels and events that you had been invited to. Maybe tiny cuttings, but nothing to this size and level of lush.
"Well she's very pretty." You reply softly, letting out an airy laugh through your nose at his use of pronouns. The man doesn’t even crack a smile in return, his eyes giving you a pointed once over.
“And invasive.” He adds, resting his gaze on yours once again.
There’s a thick silence that follows after, during which you consider apologizing. For what? You were unsure, but somehow standing in his towering shadow and feeling his accusing eyes had you feeling like you were in the wrong for merely existing in his presence.
Before you can think to just turn around, take off your heels, and sprint home like you had years ago, his voice demands your attention again.
"So,” he says, “you gonna tell me why you’re stalking me, then?"
Now, surely, you were hearing things.
"E-Excuse me?"
He seems to take in your shock with some thought while he takes another languid puff, "You come by here every single day,” He lets the smoke go from his lungs, ”but you never buy a thing. In fact, you never even come in." The tone of his voice tilts towards annoyance. “You just stand at the window and pout like some sad puppy.”
"I-I work in the building next door?" You offer, bewildered by the entire situation. Were you dreaming? Had you fallen asleep at your desk and given yourself some sort of stress-induced nightmare?
"Hmm," The man takes you in without breaking your gaze, tilting his head to the side while he takes another drag of his cigarette. "You don't seem like the pencil pusher type to me."
You’re not sure why that comment makes you defensive. In retrospect, it was even a compliment to you. You hated sitting at a desk all day, watching the sun rise and set over a stack of papers. But you had worked hard to get to the position you were in now and it wasn’t the first time a man had told you that you didn’t look like you belonged. Before you can catch yourself in the name of politeness you find yourself scoffing out, "Sorry, but you don't seem like much of a florist to me."
The silence returns. You watch as the disdainful glint to his eyes shatters, and is replaced with a split second of surprise. He blinks and it’s only then that you realize how much larger this man is in comparison to you. If you had seen him walking down the street, you’d probably think to yourself “I wouldn’t want to be on his bad side” and yet here you were, on his bad-getting-worse side from the moment your eyes met.
Or so you had thought. But, as the antithesis of anger crosses his hardened features, and an unexpected bitten-back grin takes the place of his glower, you’re not sure what to think anymore.
He snorts out a laugh, finally releasing you from the cold grasp of his unbreakable gaze. He takes another step back and focuses his attention on watering the flowers again. "Touche."
The cigarette gets flicked from his fingertips and he smears it beneath his boot into a tiny canal of rocks separating the soil of the garden beds from the cement of the sidewalk.
"So, you gonna buy something then? Or just stand there with that strange look on your face all night?" He tilts his head to mirror your stance, but the amused grin remains in place of your confused gape. “I close in five minutes.”
“I have to hand it to you, you’re a fantastic salesman.” You’ve never met a stranger more brash and uncaring, so you were giving it a shot in return. It only serves to further his easy smiles.
“Am I not offering the right thing?” Now apparently after confirming to himself that you weren’t a threat, his tone of voice seems almost playful. It only serves to further your confusion. “Hmm, a lock of my hair maybe?”
“I am not a stalker!”
“Then buy something.”
You take a deep breath through your nose. Feeling the need to save face when you haven’t done anything wrong in the first place. Yet, the thought of turning away empty handed had embarrassment threatening to heat up your neck and cheeks. You didn't care if you had to drop a pretty penny, you just didn't want to boost this man's ego.
"Those." You point to the nearest flower, another pot of proud blossoms sprouting from a stem unseen past the abundant greenery of strong leaves. Soft moon colored petals unfurl at the top, and sprouting from the center are tiny, deep yellow pollen covered buds.
The man follows your pointed finger and graces your choice with all of one second before he turns back to his watering. "Not those." He decides flatly.
You’ve never made a more difficult purchase. "Why not?"
"Casablanca Lilies need constant care. A white-collar like you couldn't keep up. And I don't raise 'em so people can kill 'em."
"I think I can take care of a plant, thank you." You retort, sarcasm oozing off your sentence.
It seems you can only really catch this man’s attention when your tone has a touch of negativity, because suddenly he’s back to watching you.
There’s a pregnant pause before his next words. He searches nothing but your eyes for a moment, as if to gauge.
"Wanna bet?" He cocks a brow.
And it angers you how handsome you find this annoying, pompous, self-entitled stranger.
"Bet?” You repeat incredulously. “Are you making a sale or trying to fight?”
Instantly, as if you were offering the two scenarios as possible options, his smile darkens and he takes a step forward instead of continuing his line of watering.
That was all the reply you needed. You had seen the movies. The documentaries. Handsome men, provoking women, hungry eyes, it never added up to something good. So that was your que to keep walking straight past him and go home.
“Right, I don’t need this.” You scoff.
And yet, just before you're able to step aside him, like a true businessman, he says just the right thing to keep you there.
"So I'm right then?"
The sound of the droplets from the watering can against the cement in place of your footsteps has you cringing in self-disappointment. You force your head to turn and meet his infuriating amusement.
"What's the bet?" You grind out from clenched teeth. His eyes fall to your mouth, and he takes a pointed second to look at your bite before he steps away from you and back to the place where your interaction began. He reaches beside the huge Evening Primrose bush to reveal a small green potted sapling with the same leaf pattern.
He holds it out to you and you reach out to take the little thing like you’re scared for its safety.
"Come back in two weeks. If it's alive, I'll give you the lilies for free." The calmness in his tone of voice doesn't match the excitement glittering in his dark hazel-brown eyes. "And if it's dead, you owe me." He adds, rather nonchalantly.
"Owe you what?" You squint your eyes at him, maybe then you could see the little horns that match his devilish little grin.
He shrugs, almost too innocently, "A favor. Haven't thought of it yet." The stranger gives you one last once over, but this one leaves the strangest chill running down your spine. His eyes seem to follow it, as if he can see it rattling through you. "Should I? You're so confident you'll win, I didn't think I'd have to."
Now it was your turn to look him up and down, tattoos, scars and a face that seemed too comfortable with that murderous look he had first given you.
"...There's no way you're just a florist."
The comment is completely ignored as he leans forward, invading your airspace a little too close for comfort, and murmuring the words "Yes or no?" with a thick sugar coating.
"You're on." You hope your own words convey your complete disdain for him… and not that tiny glimmer of attraction you feel prickling under your skin.
A surprised laugh seems to escape him, as though he didn't expect you to make the deal. "You're either quite confident in yourself or a damn fool."
Like a rabbit bearing tiny teeth in the face of a lion, you mirror him and lean in closer until there's only a small space between the two of you. "Maybe I just like showing up cocky men."
"Oh, and I'm gonna love a favor from such a mouthy brat." You're lucky he pulls away from you after he practically purrs his threat. There's another thoughtful pause before he reaches into his apron pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes again.
"Two weeks. I know where you work too now." He lights another, and examines the cherry after he takes the first drag, smiling like it just told him a joke. “Don’t forget.”
#he loves a challenge#jjk#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna#florist!sukuna#modern au#remember when i said halfway done like two thousand words ago?#I guess I lied#hope you enjoy#tuck in it's got chapters#thanks to winterrbluess who inspired this#her florist!sukuna art changed me#love the idea#this one is on a03 now if you're interested#missed you
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what have you been entrusted with? ⟡
#Itadori Yuuji#Yuuji Itadori#Itadori Yuji#Yuji Itadori#Jujutsu Kaisen#JJK#Jujutsu Kaisen fanart#JJK fanart#JJK Spoilers#luxites art#I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH I CAN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS#idk if I just never noticed it before but#I like how reverse cursed technique looked like wings#when the energy/smokes for it was coming off of him and Sukuna in the recent chapter#it's so weird drawing him without the eye scars#it feels like I'm missing something
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BRIDGERTON 3.01 | "Out of the Shadows"
#y'all LISTEN#i know the jury is still out on whether my girl fran is bi or something else#but her in this scene is literally so me#the sudden disinterest when people around are talking about being interested in men#the most basic criteria when asked for ur type cuz you don't think about men anyway...#i am now lesbian btw#this + her face after her kiss with john and her theme of different types of love all season...#PLUS her behavior around one miss michaela stirling...#i got a word for u miss bridgerton and it starts with an L#francesca bridgerton#bridgerton#francescabridgertonedit#bridgertonedit#lgbtq
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Everyone moved on but I stayed there
#sick to my stomach again. i miss him so much im about to end it all. who else was like him#like. he saw daniel struggling and would not be dissuade. all throughout 2022. scathingly defending daniel in public.#comforting him in private. reaching out to daniel again and again and again#showed up to daniels test. rested his head on the halo and encouraged him. when daniel got the seat he said#I AM VERY HAPPY FOR DANIEL BECAUSE I LOVE HIM#LIKE I DONT KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE IT MORE DEVASTATING. IF THE EMPHASIS WAS ON WHICH WORD#f1#daniel ricciardo#sebastian vettel
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In Last Life, Pearl died in the finale and it gave Scott the strength to keep going, to avenge his friends, to make all those gifted lives count. He fought and fought until he came out on top because it's what Pearl and Cleo would have wanted. He raised his sword with pride and got struck down for winning the game by not playing, honorable and clever
In Wild Life, Scott dies in the finale and Pearl feels alone. It's a new kind of alone, without guidance and without purpose, that stops her in her tracks while the world keeps going around her. She doesn't want to get up and fight, there's nothing left to fight for. She gave it her all and it wasn't enough. She feels so pathetic.
#life series#wild life#last life#galaxy duo#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#ice speaks#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#what's the word for parallels but opposites. mirror? yea that's them#bonus: they have a red/blue theme. they're made for this#i love that they're healing and i LOVE that it ended in tragedy either way. loving someone means missing them when they're gone
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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#helllloooo alll. I thought it'd be perfect to come back today#today is my bdayyy yaaay. ✨#its one of those melancholic ones#when u ponder your existence#but its okay#watched ai no wakusei since it was made in 2004 like me 😔💔#btw#i hope ill be able to ne more active here again#ive just been really busy w school n life and my mental health went 20000 steps down so yes. i hope itll just get better#this bday is always bittersweet#well since its the 19th#itll always be#honestly ive been avoiding subrosa even until now cuz my mental health is so shit i cant even imagine how subrosa will make me feel. but im#on it. i honestly miss all of u guys so much. ye probably not many of u care but still#i like this place. it feels somewhat like home. even tho i still feel out of place sometimes its still comforting being here. whatever lol#havent yapped in a while so im vomiting words. love you all. im hoping the depressive episode will leave my ass finally.#u know its bad when u havent watched bt lives since around mid november#but its okay ai no wakusei somewhat healed me. so im hoping for the best now (says this every month and ends up worse)#yeah.#🥰#buck tick#atsushi sakurai#ameoto ha Chopin no Shirabe#even if i cant come back yet im thinking abt all of u n love u. take care of yourselves and yes. do stuff you love. smell roses. look at th#moon that's been soooo beautiful lately 🥺 love#Spotify
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something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough
#goober.txt#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#aa4#this is also partially why I am such a truther of nuance in klavier+kris's relationship#I think it mixes well with prev just in like. how much he cares is both part of his core and a byproduct of#being desperate for all the connection he lost + that was plenty dysfunctional on top of that (but all he had)#I think it actively hits harder if he's conflicted for missing someone who was terrible because it was still his brother and like.#I think kris having been good to klavier sometimes (adding to the dysfunction of the bad) is something that I've always liked#because like#I think klavier having a 'is it wrong to want him dead' and 'am I terrible for missing him badly' thing happenin at the same time is!!#so good and also very sad and I love you gavin brother things that capcom didn't give us. love you klavier gavin#I like the idea of him having that confliction alongside his grief :( ow#I literally don't have the right words to properly express all my thought cereal on this. other people have done it though so it is ok haha#I love when fictional grief has the confliction of 'being reminded the monster was also human and that makes everything worse' it's so good#like I hate you. I miss you. the way you were nice to me was so very you and it makes me soft and sad and tired. I miss you.#you were awful in unspeakable ways. I miss you.#sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like without you and it comforts me as much as it terrifies me. I miss you
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This scene of Till innocently peaceful with such a big smile feels incomplete to me after the events of round 7--But more true to his character rather than a comic with his final thoughts like Sua and Ivan had, it's cruel, brief, like a flashback, and it's bittersweet. Till is probably going to be reserved and ambiguous till the end. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to think about and reflect on his regrets and traumas; that's Till's principle; living in stubborn, childish beliefs, and in those truths, he finds escape into solace, even if it's unlike his reality, it's how he copes enough to make everything bearable for the next day to come. This image feels like a reflection, a memory of when he was happier in life. In Till's final moments, he thought about his and Mizi's childhood, the moment he fell in love with her was when she smiled at him with such radiance, the same moment, he felt like his heart was reborn; it was like he could breathe and smile solely for her. Till thinks back to these moments, these fleeting moments of peace because he can't let them go, he can't let go of the comfort of that familiarity.
--"Oh in a blink Gone. Blink and Gone, relish the present."
This image does bring me back to a lot of lyrics in Round 7. But this one in particular, a line that talks about living in the present before the moment slips between your fingers, in a blink, gone. But Till lives in the past.
Till doesn't think back to round 1 when he killed that alien guitar for Mizi, even though it was fully his decision, even though it was so gratifying seeing "Till win" and Mizi's acknowledgment, do you think he would have done that if he wasn't desperate and just doing what he felt like he had to do to survive? Because he had to stay by Mizi's side in her darkest moment like she was the one beacon of hope and happiness for him?
Till only suffers when he thinks back to round 6. When he's reminded of regret and pain. So, he represses the very memory of it to protect himself, he can't bring himself to even acknowledge it at all until he's forced to, when the aliens were intimidating him with Mizi's missing poster, he fights back out of anger. Just having that weakness, his guilt, and his grief used against him feels like a different kind of collar. Till thinks back to these warm, intangible memories of his childhood because life on stage was never something he could make his own, he didn't want to live for anything Alien Stage offered him, power, fame, etc. Despite his passion for music, Till is gentle and emotional at heart. This throne that is elevated high by bloodied corpses, a life living stagnant and trapped under the suffocating palm of an Alien, at the very top but inexplicably expendable, was never Till's vision of a life worth living. That's why he fought like hell for the life he wanted, for the life that he could've had. It really drives the point home when his final thoughts were centered around those moments when he was the happiest in his life.
It is so hard to feel the beauty, the warmth, in this image when everything around him is inauthentic, and it's off-putting because of the underlying details, especially since because of his gown, this scene might have taken place after one of those experiments or 'classes' it's a very subtle reminder of their reality. But his smile is so real in the moment without the collar, without the pain... he looks so carefree and full of life
And he scrunches his nose when he laughs *gets shot*
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alien stage till#i dont think i can talk about it enough...he's so fucking precious to me i fucking hate him (affectionately)#AGH#aghrhhhh#i still want to see a comic of his final thoughts though#this just feels like a vaguer and and more metaphorical way of getting his feelings across in one lense or another#but when i say it feels incomplete. this doesnt feel like all he has to say yet (i hope)#I MISS MY WIFE#cosmic boom of emotions when i see this i dont know how to put it into words#but vivinos has me in a chokehold#he's just a kid. the way he had to go through so many things seeing this face makes me feel happy for him and sad#i really want to kill myself but i miss till so badly#god i am your weakest soldier for till alien stage only#I SMILE AND I CRY HIS FREEDOM THE LACK OF COLLAR HIS HAPPINESS#AUHGHGH#the primal urge to hold him close and burrito him ina. blanket..i love him#till alien stage#till alnst
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My autistic ass is so excited for it to snow soon because literally EVERY LOCATION I enter will be considered an Until Dawn reference.
Snowing outside? Until Dawn reference.
Need to put on a winter coat? Until Dawn reference.
Want to cozy up inside, nice and warm by the fireplace? Until Dawn reference.
Trees covered in snow? Until Dawn reference.
Ice froze a lock shut? Until Dawn reference.
You name it and it WILL BE an Until Dawn reference.
#until dawn#autistic adult#autistic#autism#hyperfixation#special interest#the fireplace is in fact just a YouTube video#but no matter the format. a fireplace GOES HARD#also I stg if Until Dawn is just a long lasting hyperfixation and not a special interest I will explode. stg. on my word. I’ll crash out.#I love until dawn so much. I MISSED OUT SO HARD WHEN IT CAME OUT. I ONLY SAW LIKE THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF IT. AGGGGHHH#until dawn remake#josh washington#until dawn josh#bro I’m such a little Chris Hartley fanboy. it’s insane. I love him and Josh fr.
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