#when i was......in k-12 school
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i wanna read books but i just dont have the focus for it anymore. i cant help but start randomly thinking abt shit and then i realize my eyes had passed over the last 2 paragraphs without me actually processing the words.
audiobooks wont help bc i cant focus on sound either; i cant even listen to those popular D&D play podcasts without missing huge chunks bc i zoned out either doing something or again just randomly thinking abt other stuff, then i tune back in like wait wtf is going on now. if its a story i just cant seem to ingest it.
thats why i like shit like mbmbam where its just kinda dumb shit and jokes and bits and its like. ok if i lose focus ill miss some stuff but when my brain comes back at least ill be able to just pick up in a couple seconds without what i missed affecting it yknow. bc its not a cohesive story.
#stupid shit#i miss reading so badly#i used to go thru books like candy#when i was......in k-12 school#once college hit it felt like i was just too....idk. busy and stressed#and so much easier to just turn on a videogame and dead-brain#now 8 years post college i seem to have lost the ability to activate book reading mode and it makes me sad af#i was a harry potter fan back in the day bc i read the books. the movies were just a bonus#i hurried and did my homework to get it out of the way so i could READ#now that IP is tainted but the point remains
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Long time, no manga haul
#prince's talk tag#hey did you guys know |ink c|ick got a manhwa adaptation? i didnt until i saw it in the store#and the dust jacket is really nice. its got a sparkly holographic effect going on#continuing my quest to get every volume of n/ozaki kun bc its my favorite series ever#with volume 10 being my fave bc thats when they go on the school trip#look at them!! theyre so cute!! they're idiots and i love them#never heard of the black cat and vampire one until i saw it today but its gay vampires so ofc i had to get it#also never heard of the one in between the gay vampire one but the cover looked nice so why not#also got the third p/r/s/k anthology and bc its a Japanese book the clerk gave me that s/x/f bookmark#dont know what they have in common but its cute and free so im not complaining#when i saw that bl anthology i realized i dont own any anthologies with a focus on bl so i decided to change that#i read on the train ride home and its really cute!!#got the 5th volume of c/herry m/agic bc gay office workers with magic powers are my shit!!! (only one of them on the cover has them lolol)#as well as get vol 12 of t/b/n/a. love him on the cover#never heard of the one in the bottom left of the second pic but the summary had me interested#the guy on the cover seems cold and mean but hes actually holding back fluffy emotions#and i love that shit!! so im game
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#it's a strange thing to work in a store that never sleeps. like living in an organism. like forcing its blood to flow#youre there an not. mostly out of sight and out of mind. blinking into existence when something is needed#or at least thats how it is when you work on the back end. and its an oddly gendered workplace when i go in#before the sun is up. before the doors are unlocked. men and boys unload the trucks and sort the packages. women sort the clothing packages#so they do that on purpose? do applicates sort themselves? why do only women work in style?#i dunno. it feels like my 1st real job. its very strange bc there are alloted times and clocking in and out and forced breaks. ive never had#that. ive only had: every moment that youre not working is a waste of time. i worked 10 hour days 6 days a week while getting paid part time#so it's weird. its nice to feel useful. its nice to have my time filled with things to do. but its also like going to school k-12 bc its#like: oh god i gotta get up at 3am so i can go to work. so i dunno. we'll see how i feel after a full week. its also sorta physically#exhausting and maybe i should have said 32hrs instead of 40 so i can actually work on some stuff this summer but i guess we'll see#right now getting a government job sounds better than going back to school but i dunno. i dunno#ill have to start applying in earnest. ay ay ay. what a mess#unrelated
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My 6th grade social studies teacher goes to my church and sometimes does altar service, I've been seeing him there for several years now and he's never approached me (I am 100% sure he would want to talk to me if he recognized me, I know he remembers teaching me unless he's been in a horrible accident since then or something), at Easter during the peace I very clearly looked at him and said "it's nice to see you" because I thought it would be weird to act like I didn't know him and it didn't seem to ping anything within him or make him pause so I pretty much have felt free to go on being normal levels of cordial without instigating conversation. Well last night I am completely sure that when I walked in the door he saw me and realized who I was like he looked like he had seen a ghost. So we'll see if that develops into anything I guess. Also he was holding the chalice during communion and he was shaking like a leaf so idk maybe he isn't ok. All I can say is I guess it's good I am not recognizable now as my 6th grade self because that is literally like the one year of my life I can't even bear to look at pictures of. I know I was a kid and everyone has an awkward stage but...idk I really think mine was very very bad and the apex of it was on 6th grade picture day. which may have given me an overall complex because that was the year I started going to a completely new school, no classmates moved with me or anything
#my school was k-12 but he stopped teaching there after I moved to the high school so I guess he didn't see the full glow up#I mean I think I look even more different at 30 than at 18 obviously but I'm like the same size and height and stuff#in 6th grade I was actually still quite small to the point that I don't think anyone ever suspected I would grow to be a tall adult#i did see him once in a staples when I was in high school and we talked. this is all very boring information
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You can tell how deep into the derangement I am by if I start listening to Melanie again
#(I’m listening to Melanie again)#I actually tend to listen to cry baby and k-12 when I’m drawing which is. strange#subconscious callback to middle school maybe
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hmmmm kinda wanna rewatch all of spn………… haven’t done a full rewatch since season 10 was airing I think……… is this a terrible idea….. yes. will that stop me though………
#also I kinda wanna see if I can get through it all before Mookie and my mom finish it#they started their rewatch like 3 years ago now. they watched the 200th episode and stopped cause they got into K-pop and kdramas#but they’ve slowly started talking about picking it back up again before Mookie goes to college#so like. there’s a bit of a time constraint#I think I could do it#plus I have the dvds now and I kinda wanna watch the bloopers after each season too#and a lot of the later seasons I’ve only seen the episodes once#like everything post season 11/12 cause I stopped watching with the British men of letters#and only binged it all to watch the last episode live#I’m gonna do this aren’t I#personal#fun fact: back when there were fewer than 10 seasons of the show I used to do a full rewatch in less than a month. while in school. taking#lots of AP classes and doing a ton of other volunteering. I was not okay
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bif and carrietta being cold together season
#some ocs that live in my head :)#bif#carrietta#sockey salmon#saiga antelope#furry#furry art#jem art#bif is a boxer and works at a gas station#carrietta wants very badly to be sommelier and is slowly working her way up the ranks but mostly lives off allowance from her family#they are family friends / cousins and they are roomates#both were the weird kids in their respective families and gravitated together for that reason#a memory that sticks in my head is carrietta getting very overwhelmed at family functions and bif being the one who always sits next to her#being very figety and somewhat annoying but also standing up for her needs to the rest of the family#and bif always getting in trouble cos of getting into fights at school and carrietta always being there to actually listen to him about#what happened when everyone else has stopped listening to him at this point#like those are k-12 memories but i think it really informs their relationship and friendship and familial ties!#i like them :)#they are arouuund the same age as rainer and they all went to the same community college like a decade ago!#carrietta majored in mathmatics and Bif majored in communications
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Two math/physics students I have tutored in the last year have been hired as peer tutors this semester. Both of them took calc 2 in the spring and are taking calc 3 and differential equations now. They have the same instructor for those classes, and he's the head of the math department as well as the person who got me my job. He's known me since I was in precalculus in 2019 and I had him when I took calc 3 and diff eqs too. Well both of those classes for this semester just got back their first exams and one of my little tutor boys didn't do so hot. Let me be clear, I respect this professor but he is the biggest hardass in the world. He told my now coworker that his calc 3 exam was the biggest disappointment in both of those classes and I wanna throw hands.
#differentials and calc 3 are tough classes but lets just say this instructor does not receive the best scores on his exams#except from me for the most part and i was kind of favored for it#class average for this first exam in the class hes teaching now is a 40 and he doesn't grade on a bell curve#i can say from experience that tutoring is and isn't an advantage while you're enrolled in your own math class#because at work you get refreshers on material you're already familiar with#but sometimes you get so burnt out from working on other people's classes#that when its time to sit and actually do your own homework you can't think straight anymore#im not a student at this school anymore i told tutor boy that if the professor has a problem with him he can take it up with me#some of what the guy does is extremely unethical in teaching but he doesn't know that#because college professors don't need to have education degrees like k-12 teachers#im gonna throw hands some things just aren't right#shut up kaily
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just thinking about how testing into a higher reading level exposes you to more intense themes when you’re pretty young. i imagine that might have contributed to my difficulty in relating to my peers in elementary school.
#the elementary school i went to was k-12 so when i tested out of the elementary level books the librarian would let me (and only me)#browse the highschool section#a much appreciated reprieve from being surrounded by kids who just really didn’t like me#and also a place where i encountered reading material that was not super appropriate for a third grader#every once in a while i have little epiphanies about why my elementary experience sucked so hard
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did you like portals
portals is FANTASTIC
#asks#anons#it’s an insane improvement over k-12 and i LOVED k-12 when it came out#after school was an abomination tho
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When I look back on it I think my mom tried to keep me from being gay somehow by telling me I shouldn't hang out with certain girls usually bc we were getting too close or I was going on gurl dot com too much or acting too tomboyish.
#like all it did was put off me figuring out i liked women for 4 more years#like this stuff was in middle school#so i started experimenting when i was 17 when my best friend admitted she had a crush on me#had i been able to keep talking to my best friend at the time when I was 12 and 13 i may have figured it out sooner#but they exposed me to too much queer stuff and my mom did not like that#but usually just told me so and so was a bad influence and i shouldn't hang around them anymore#knowing sooner would have stopped me from dating men too and there would have been a lot less harm done to me#i know everything has worked out now and i am happy with my relationship and that i am out and proud#but it makes me sad and a little angry that i was kept from figuring myself out#and for what?? to shelter me??#all i ever heard growing up is 'oh i wouldn't pick that for myself' or 'being gay makes your life so much harder'#so i was also scared into being 'straight' bc i thought my life would be horrible if i turned out to be gay#and here we are now#apparently didn't work too well#it did fuck me up a little though lol#personal#k texts#homophobia
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i see a lot of posts that r like "the problem w [people] is that they were drawing in [middle/high school class] instead of paying attention" and. idk can we stop
#idk how to describe why i hate it#there r so many reasons#but its a p terrible dig#espcially when history class in public k-12 school in the usa is so sanitized#qnd abt memorizing names and dates#ripley posts
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so no idea if this is applicable to wherever you live, but i've found that state institutions/companies are a good place for disabled people. in my country there are quotas companies would have to fulfill on how many disabled people they hire, but private companies will just pay the fines if they don't wanna hire disabled people. but state related places will actually hire us. so stuff like city governments, all the different citizen services like the unemployment office or the tax offices and so on, public utilities, etc. and at least where i live they are also desperately looking for people with IT degrees because while the pay is generally good it's not as good as in private companies (for IT specifically). ymmv of course, but maybe it's like that where you live too
this is the advice i've gotten the most so far! thank you and thanks everyone for trying to help me out :) the only problem w this kind of job is that they're almost always standard non-remote kinda jobs and more than my pain disorders, my biggest health issue is my circadian rhythm disorder that makes it impossible for me to keep that kind of schedule for very long
#answered#k-12 my biggest issue in school was being late/absent#i did get detention for it once in middle school bc i racked up enough tardies#but my grades were always stellar so teachers gave me a lot of leeway#i got to where i could function really well on little to no sleep up until i crashed#that changed in college when i developed fibromyalgia and now if i don't get enough sleep i'm in too much pain to move#i don't know how long i could keep a day job
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why why why do i have to be so picky about writing
#its good and all when im reading fanfic#but not when i have to respond to another student's essay#college is wild because its made me realize just how different everyone's k-12 education was#ik ive said that before but it still astounds me sometimes#and like no shade#shit's hard sometimes#but this time it is making it genuinely confusing to understand#(plus a passage just totally misinterpreted and they didn't include a really important detail for some reason)#(like its a draft and i know i didn't put much thought into my words but girl cmon)#rambles#school stuff#winter stfu
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In an ideal world, it would be a program for Deaf teachers, the government could even put it under vocational rehab if they wanted to! Unfortunately, even some Deaf schools don't employ many Deaf teachers and a lot of teaching jobs end up going to interpreters or just hearing & non-signing people instead. But you're right and I love what you said, we can hope 🩷
idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they cold make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.
#during the school year i teach under a program set up by a CODA which is awesome but it's not a government (public school) job#i have a few regulars at my primary job who work at the local Deaf primary school and none of them can carry much of a convo#they can probably sign at a 2nd grade level or so but that's really not enough#there's a decent residential school w Deaf teachers but that requires being willing to send your child away for like 9 months of the year#this turned into basically a rant at the current system 😅 sorry but yeah i think the first step to teaching sign language in primary school#is overhauling the current system for teaching Deaf students as a whole#some schools are decent at it but a lot of us end up in special ed with 2 rotating terps and missing half the day in speech therapy#or in a 'Deaf school' surrounded by hearies. the exceptions in the US are all in like MD KY CA and TX#even then it's specific areas of those states#i didnt meet a Deaf adult until i was 17. i didnt get into the community until i was 20.#Deaf teachers in Deaf schools=> proof of concept that being Deaf does not mean youre incapable of caring for students=>#Deaf teachers in hearing high schools as a language elective=> studies on d/D/HoH feelings of inclusivity with their peers who learn=>#Language elective starting in middle schools=> improved literacy rates in Deafies bc they have teachers who understand them at a younger age#=> primary school inclusion of sign languages in the curriculum starting in third grade=> studies on whether hearing kids need reading-#-skills to understand signed languages=> sign language in curriculum starting in first grade or ideally kindergarten#is kind of the funnel i'd imagine we'd see for optimal chances of having fluent teachers in primary education for hearing students#which would. take at least a couple of decades.#also if this sounds argumentative i dont mean it that way at all!! this is a dream for me but it needs to be done right.#and no one is going to fund it the right way without a fight. terps are great but outside of codas they arent native.#we need native speakers teaching our language or it gets twisted fast. even my favorite (/most fluent non-native speaker) terp-#-cant sign a simple word like cereal- she signs soup for both soup and cereal 😭#and she's been using asl since she was 12 and is almost 50 now. i love her to death and ive tried correcting her#but it wasnt reinforced that way when she was young and now it's ingrained in her.#anyway sorry op if you read all of this i know it was very much this is just something im really passionate about and i want to see happen#like youre so right and i love the fact that youre talking about it and that so many people agree i just have a lot of feelings about it#ALSO if you havent read them i highly recommend the books:#Forbidden Signs by Douglas Baynton#Everyone Here Spoke Sign Language by Nora Groce#and Introduction to American Deaf Culture by Thomas K Holcomb#(obv a usamerican POV but the middle one is relevant anywhere i think) for their insights on sign language teaching/integration
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Please reblog because I would love a wide pool of answers
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