#when i was younger and got bullied in school shinee helped me to get through it

[smutzslxt]

I WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME THERE| S.Gojo x fem!reader

ꨄSynopsis:Everyone thought that Satoru Gojo was a good looking man with a flawless personality ,but you knew that wasn’t true.That man hates you and you don’t even know why, but you are about to find out.

ꨄpairing: Bully!Satoru x popular-fem!reader

ꨄWC: 2001

ꨄrated: mature ,18+,mdni

ꨄCW: Heavy smut, dom!fem!reader x sub!gojo, dick riding, characters are 18+,p in v,semi public sex (in a changing room),pet names (Angel,good boy,Whore), getting caught.

ꨄA/N :we all love submissive satoru, right?

Whenever people tell you how great Satoru Gojo is , you just roll your eyes. Nothing was great about this idiot maybe he looked good, but he was an ignorant, eogoistic asshole.

You didn’t like him, but don’t worry, the feeling is mutual. Whenever your eyes meet each other, they shine full of hatred that you had for each other.

Whenever he had the opportunity, he embarrassed you, he ‘accidentally’ spills his drink over your white blouse, he bumps into you whenever he had a chance and the worst…he spreads rumors about you.

These rumors endangered your popularity rank. Every time you enter school there are new rumors about you.” Have you heard it, people say she got fingered by someone in class”

What nonsense, you thought when you walked through the hallway. Every time you walked past people, they started whispering.” People say she has given someone a blowjob in the toilet a week ago”

Your eyes found those of the students who were 1-2 younger than you.So how dare these nobodies to talk about you this way.

“Do you have anything to tell me?” You said when you put yourself in front of the anxious girl. She looked at her friend who seemed just as intimidated as she was. How pathetic.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and didn’t even dare to look at you. “Who do you think you are to spread rumours about me“Again and again you were in the same situation.

People talk about you ,behind your back, and then they don’t even dare to open their mouths in front you. Your hands clenched into fists as you felt all the looks of other students on you.

“Who told you this stupid rumor?” It was actually already clear who it was. You just wanted to hear it from her mouth. The other rumors were more harmless but to tell around that you were fingered in class or that you have given someone a blowjob in the school toilet simply crosses the line.

“A boy from the upper class he has white hair and blue eyes”Satoru Gojo this stupid jerk. Anger spread in your body and a layer of goose bumps formed on your skin when you imagined what you are going to do with this blue-eyed motherfucker now.

“If I find out again that you’re telling rumors about me again, it gets very unpleasant between us, do you understand?” The hasty nod of the intimidated girl was like a start signal for you.

You sprint along the hallway in search of the boy who called himself the strongest. The anticipation of hurting his big ego caused the corners of your mouth to rise.

A loud ringing sounded through the corridors and then you finally saw something - or rather someone who could help you find your prey.

“Suguru” you shouted loudly through the brightly lit room. Like on command, he turned in your direction, just like other students who looked at you questionably but that didn’t interest you at all right now.

With a quick step, you walked towards your bully’s best friend and stood right in front of him.You skillfully ignored personal space at the moment you stood on your toes to be on an equal footing with him.

“Is there anyone else inside?” You asked and pointed your thumb at the changing room.” Only Satoru, but I had no more nerves to sit in there while he looks at himself in the mirror”

An insidious grin formed on your face. The success of finally standing up to him was so close you could feel it.” I’m going for a smoke and waiting for the idiot, do you want to keep me company for so long?”

In contrast to Gojo, Suguru was always nice to you, sometimes you even spent time together but you were disturbed by Satoru every time.

You don’t really know what happened, but you also got along well, but at some point he just started to hate you and you just couldn’t find out the reason why he did.

“I still have to do something”Geto nodded and said goodbye to you.” See you tomorrow,” he said and waved one last time before he made his way to the exit.

Your eyes searched through the hallway and when you didn’t see anyone, you opened the door to the changing rooms and huried in.

“What the hell” you heard a very well-known voice whispering behind you when you quietly closed the door behind you. “What are you doing here?” The white-haired egoist asked you as your eyes stared at each other.

To think about standing up to Satoru and then really putting it into action is a very big difference ,you just realised.

“You’re treating me like shit,” you finally said and looked at him bitterly. “I was still okay with you spilling your drink on me or bump into me whenever you had the chance but you crossed the border by spreading these horrible rumors about me” Without really thinking about your words, they flooded out of your mouth in the second you met his pissed look.

“How do you know that was me?” He spoke in a deep voice and drove through his hair with his hand while he rolled his eyes like he was annoyed.” It’s obvious, besides, I was told that you are the one who spread these rumours”

Cristal blue eyes looked down at you as he took a few steps towards you.” Well you are right it was me, what do you want to about it?” He stood right in front of you when he asked you this question.

“Why are you doing this” you felt intimidated by him at the moment and the many feelings that fought in your body did not exactly make it easier for you in this situation.

“Because I hate you” he put his hands on the door behind you right next to your head, which made it impossible to escape now.

“The feeling is mutual” you don’t know what exactly had happened but in the second when the last word rolled over your lips you felt a soft lips pressing hard on yours. You needed time to realize that Satoru Gojo was kissing you.

You don’t return the kiss - no, on the contrary, you push him away from you and you could feel how his ego was hurt, but this only strengthened yours.

Confidently, you took a step towards him and stood on your toes.” You say you hate me and the next moment you kiss me, that confuses me a little” your nose tip touched his and you could feel his deep breath on your lips.

Your hands laid on his shoulders when you pushed him back so that he sat on the bench behind him. You don’t waste a second and immediately sit on his lap.

“How much do you hate me, Satoru?” You whisper against his lips when your hips began to roll against his. The hardness that formed in his pants does not go unnoticed, just like the wetness in your thong.

“Every time I see you I want to embarrass you in front of everyone, I want everyone to hate you so that you don’t have anyone-“ a soft moan escaped his mouth before he could finish talking.

“Except-“ you could feel how he pressed his cock more and more against your clit, which made you lean your head back and moan hardly audibly.

“Me” when you heard that, you stopped moving your hip, which made your clit throb. Your shocked expression made him talk again.

“I don’t want you to need anyone else but me” it could have sounded like a love confession, but for you it didn’t. To you it sounded like he wanted to own you as if you were just an object.

“You are an idiot” you put your hand on his belt and removed it from his pants,you dropped it on the floor next to you and the same happened to his pants until he was only in shorts and a shirt.

When you got up from his lap, he was about to pull you back on it, but you slapped his hands away.” can’t you wait a second,” you said annoyed.

He didn’t know what you were doing until he saw from the corner of his eye how the skirt you had on fell on the floor. When his eyes lingered on your red thong, you began to grin wide.

“I can’t believe it” you laughed out loud as you took off your thong.”I’m about to fuck with you” it felt like you were just given a trophy when you saw Satoru’s needy expression.

Without really thinking about it, Satoru took off his shorts and let them rest with the rest of your clothes. Your eyes were wide when you saw how long his cock was. At least 9 inches and thick, you wondered if your hand would fit completely around it.

“Actually, I thought guy’s with a big ego had a small cock but Satoru you surprised me once again ” you sit on his lap and rub your wet pussy against his hard dick.

When you positioned yourself over his cock, you felt his hands stop you. “I should-“ you knew what he wanted, but you wouldn’t let him.

Your hand laid on Gojo’s cheek when you said your next words.” You tell everyone that I am a slut, then let me show you what kind of slut I am”

His hands stayed on your hip as his tip ,with pre cum over it,entered your pussy. You were on the pill so a condom was not necessary.” If I already had as many cocks in me as you tell everyone, then you don’t have to prepare me.” You let yourself sink more and more until he was half inside you.

The unpleasant burning feeling made you bite your lip hard. It would have been a better idea if he had prepared you beforehand, but you didn’t want to give him this triumph.

Satoru’s fingers kneaded your ass as you took more of his cock into you. His breath became faster and he closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of your tight pussy.

“What a whore you are, you look like you are fighting the urge not to cum right now” Your fingers stroked his cheek which made him open his eyes and look at you.

Like a queen on her throne, you sat on him and after you had finally took all 9 inches of his cock into you, you began to move your hip.

Satoru’s hands helped you ride him.He starts hissing when he felt you get tighter the moment your brought down your hand to rub your thumb against your clit.

You start to move your hips slowly, finding the perfect rhythm and pace. The way your warm walls contract around him and suck him in made him lean his head against the wall behind him and moan out.You weren’t better whenever he reached your g-spot you were screaming- not even caring about the people that could hear you.

“Be a good boy and cum inside me”you said and the second he felt that he was about to cum he connected your mouth with his.Thrusting inside you from below in a fast pace.He’s totally ignoring your rhythm and starts fucking you like you are his right hand.

“Fuck Angel”he whispered in between the kiss and groaned loud.The moment you felt his hot cum covering your walls, it made you cum as well.You two were moaning messes.While Satoru was still thrusting his dick inside you from below ,your pussy milked him dry.

“That’s a shock”the both of you looked towards the door and saw Suguru standing there with a big smile on his face.

“Why didn’t you both ask me to join?”

[seokmthw]

zb1 members as your brother

⇢ pairing: zb1 x reader

⇢ warnings: fluff (ish?)

⇢ word count: 929

⇢ notes: this request was super fun to write! i want to try and get some more headcannons like this up at some point so if there's anything in particular you guys want just send it in my asks and i will see if anything inspires me! enjoy~

ZHANG HAO

he’d be the type of brother you would do everything with, whether that be because you're close in age or just have a good bond

it’s rare you bicker and argue about anything, really

like he’s your bff and he loves being able to hang. out with you even if you don't do much aside from talking

he loves taking pictures together for mother’s and father’s day gifts

you know those like really cheesy jcpenney photo shoots? yeah, those

“you wanna go get mcdonald's”

“it's 3am”

“so?”

literally just the dream sibling honestly like anyone who is related to hao is so so lucky because he's so caring about the people he loves and is close with

SUNG HANBIN

the supportive older brother

listen… you know how he wanted to become a teacher? that would shine through as a sibling as well

he would be willing to sit down with you and help you with homework for a class you're struggling in and wouldn't lose his patience with you a single time

always knows how to comfort you

ruffles your hair when he's proud of you and engulfs you in a hug when he's extra proud of you

con to having him as your brother: he's too honest

like if you snuck out or something and he knew about it he would feel too guilty keeping that from your parents

which would… cause a few arguments

overall though, he only wants what is best for you

SEOK MATTHEW

the brother you're completely opposite from

he's the chipper sibling who's always energetic and happy at any given moment (usually)

and you just don't know how

so sometimes, this gets on your nerves and he's definitely aware of it

“y/n~ why are you always so grumpy?”

“why are you always so cheery?”

“touché”

really though, it's obvious he cares about you and your well being

mainly just bickering as siblings and nothing more than that because you get along pretty well despite that little difference

SHEN RICKY

the acts of service brother

ricky doesn't have an official mbti and he strikes as an introvert, so he would be the quiet acts of service type of brother

like if you're struggling with anything he would just silently help you with no expectation of anything in return

he just cares about you and wants to make sure you're doing okay

sometimes just surprises you with your favorite drink from starbucks

or makes up an excuse for you to get out of going out with your friends if you don't want

he would also cover for you if you got in trouble

idk he is just very I LOVE MY SIBLING!!! LET ME MAKE IT KNOWN BY DOING THINGS FOR THEM!!!

PARK GUNWOOK

the protective brother

literally doesn't matter if he's older or younger than you, he would defend you with his life if he needed to

like if you mention getting bullied at school, he would have a very stern conversation with whoever it was

he would definitely use his height as an advantage bc most people are intimidated by him

so really, after a few instances of him confronting people, they would know better than to bully you

would check up on you in school

“yeah, this person in my class really annoyed me today”

“do you want me to beat them up?”

“no, gunwook, that can't just be your last resort”

KIM TAERAE

the gifted older brother

like he's just always so good at everything and you feel like you don't live up to that

but taerae always reassures you that there's nothing you have to worry about

this does spark some arguments with him and your parents every once in a while

but ultimately, taerae is so so supportive of you and encourages you to try new things

because you never know what you'll like!!!

and there's a good chance you'll be good at something he's absolutely terrible at so it'll even out

he's basically the golden child and you want to be too

you'd still have a good relationship with him and would love spending time seeing him excel in all of his extracurriculars

KIM GYUVIN

the most annoying mf to be siblings with (said endearingly)

like all you do is bicker and fight over anything and everything

you want some alone time? too bad! he's gonna pester you until you yell at him and get in trouble for doing so

idk your parents are kinda sick of you guys

he's so funny though like you do enjoy being around him when he's not an absolute menace

and you do love him, that's for sure

but sometimes… strangling him for some peace feels like your only option

will literally provoke you with petty stuff like the whole “i’m not touching you”

you wouldn't trade him for the world though

KIM JIWOONG

the popular older brother

he's friends with literally everyone and your friends have little crushes on him

he's always out at events your school hosts and is usually with friends until curfew

he's always introducing you to knew people and it's able to tell you whether or not your crushes are worthwhile

he usually has really good advice on finding and keeping good friends

and is always there to help you if there's every drama

he hardly gets involved in any himself, but somehow he always knows how to navigate yours

“you can do so much better than them, y/n, why don't you go for this person instead?”

always wants what's best for you

[francesminos-tt]

I stumbled upon a post here saying Joff is Jacegan’s son, and I also know about a fic where Viserys is Lucemond’s love child, which make me think. A lot. How about a modern au where Joff is Jace and Cregan’s son, Aegon the younger is Rhaenyra and Daemon’s son where Viserys Jr is Luke and Aemond’s son. I am messing up some age gap here.

Please don’t take this too seriously. It’s just a quick crack post!

When Joffrey was born

Jace 20

Cregan 21

Luke 18

Aemond 23

Daeron 13

Jace gave birth to Joff when he was 20. It was totally unexpected, truly, he didn’t even realize he was pregnant until like 4 months in. He was still trying to figure out who he really wanted, Cregan or Sara. (It is Cregan. It is Cregan from the start. Even Sara knows it, if her speech at Jace and Cregan’s wedding is anything to go by.) Jace panicked all through his pregnancy, thinking himself a failure to be knocked up while still in college. He ceased that line of thought the moment he got little Joff in his arms. All is well after that. (Or maybe not, because Jace worked nonstop after Joff’s birth, trying to make up for all the missing school work and graduate in time. Cregan had to feed him real food. Humans can’t survive solely on energy drinks, obviously. One would expect someone smart as Jace, a leading debater at the school debate team, should know better. But alas. Fortunately Cregan was there to help, and he had no intention of ever leaving Jace’s side.)

Luke beats his big brother’s record by giving birth at 18. (19, Luke agues, his water broke when celebrating his 19th nameday, so technically he was 19 when Viserys Jr was born.) Unlike Jace, his pregnancy was a carefully constructed plan to baby trap Aemond. And it worked. Luke is very proud of himself. Aemond can play hard to get for all he likes, but Luke knows his scaring uncle has feelings for him. Or else who would stare at someone like Aemond does every time their extended family is forced to get together? When Luke learned Aemond would go to Citadel School of Business for a master’s degree next year, he knew he had to act quickly. He pulled some strings (black mailed Aegon, to be precise) to get Aemond’s schedule and successfully stumbled upon a drunk Aemond outside a shady bar. The rest is history. (Luke shared his pregnancy with his mother Rhaenyra, who was expecting her first child with her uncle Daemon. They made so many uncle fucking jokes that Jace had to flee the room out of sheer terror. Luke laughed until Aemond picked him up from the sofa to go get a scheduled ultrasound. Aegon the younger was born 3 months prior to Viserys Jr.)

Joffrey always feels like a big brother to Aegon the younger and Viserys Jr growing up, although he is only one year older than them. He takes after Jace, apparently, to care for the little ones, but he also inherited Cregan’s protectiveness toward his family. So when he sees Aegon and Viserys being bullied by some shitface, he rushes to their rescue. Joff took several punches, sure, but he also kicked one of the bullies on the balls. (Cregan is so proud. Jace, not so much at first, but after he learns Joff only gets in a fight to protect Aegon and Viserys, he gets Joff a Switch as reward.) Joff is at least a head shorter than the bullies, so he slowly loses his ground and is about to be shoved into a stinking pond when his knight in shining armor arrives. Daeron is on his way back from tennis training when he saves Joff from drowning in a stinking pond worse than the sewers. Joff spits out disgusting water and kicks Daeron on the shin. To his credit, Joff doesn’t need protection, he can fucking defend himself thank you very much. (Language! Jace shouts.) Years later, when Daeron nervously asks Joff to go on a date with him, Joff barely spares him a glance as he says yes. Daeron is more nervous than he goes to a Grand Slam Final. He can’t be blamed. He’s asking his great-nephew (Oh god that sounds wrong) 13 years his junior to go on a date with him.

Later at a family dinner

Cregan: Look I will allow you to date my son only if you get your tennis player buddies to sign the autograph- (Jace throwing him death glare) Never. I mean I will never let you defile my precious little Joffrey.

Daeron: Come to think of it, I am only 13 years older than Joff while uncle Daemon is like 16 years older than Rhaenyra. No offense, uncle Daemon.

Daemon (sipping wine, looking smug): None taken, kid.

Luke: I know I am not the best person to say this-

Aemond: You are not.

Luke: Shut up.

Aemond: Make me.

Rhaenyra (ignoring the gross sound of kissing in the background): Joff, dear, just remember to use protection. I have some condoms in my drawer that you may like. I believe they are coke flavor.

Jace: MUM!

Daeron: Thank you sister, but I don't think it will be necessary. I won’t even hold Joff’s hands until his 16th nameday.

Jace: YOU WANT TO HOLD MY SON’S HANDS???

Luke (finally breaks the kiss but still sits on Aemond’s lap): Now I feel like we are not the sickest couple in this family anymore.

Aemond: I can be sick.

Jace: THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION!!

Joff (stealing Daeron’s desert while frantically poking at his Switch. Damn that dragon is hard to defeat)

[urapunk]

RONNIE REESE WEST CHARACTER TRAITS.... SOMEONE KILL ME

SO I GUESS THESE ARENT LIKE SET IN STONE BUT SOME OF THEM ARE

Has the biggest 'clean it up' attitude. If you're acting a fool and disrupting a class from doing work and getting a good grade then he WILL throw a desk, or at the very least a chair at you.

He/They, is what they prefer. My only oc with diff pronouns!! Doesnt mind being considered a girl but doesnt like when you point out his feminine features, like their lips, neck, or lashes. It gives them an odd sense of gender dysphoria and confuses them on whether they wish they were a girl or boy... Thinks he was cursed by having a stronger jawline, thick brows, and greek nose.

MF Doom listener. Practices so many instruments just so they can show off the fact they can play some of the samples. Loves to try and replicate potholderz on guitar. Also plays trumpet, his favorite.

Wants to muder mr burton. (Thank you to @/muppetears-stuff for that one) and considers ground alamming him when he corrects their stance before a wrestling match. Has left a visible red hand mark on his bald spot (thank you to @/floort for that one too 😭😭)

Ethan and Ronnie are twins, with damon being their older step sibling. Damon was 4 when they were 2 and introduced to his 2 person family, which was just he and his mom. (Mommas boy.🫶)

Likes to steal jackets. The jocks treat them like a moody younger sibling, and he has atleast 4 different lettermans. One from ted, damon, kirby, and a previous student at bullworth who they miss. (Probably bob idfk)

Theres one spot in ms. Philips room where the sun shines through the window just perfect, and ronnie asks to sit there everyday. Fell asleep in that spot and ms. Philips decided to draw it since it was the middle of november and the sun set faster, leaving thwm in a silvery glow. Ronnie thinks gold is his color but ms. Philips says its definitely silver.

Loves mr galloway. Besties. Bestiest of besties.

Guzzles down pipeline punch monster like its the last theyll ever have. The love that shit so much, and pretty much any sweet, punchy flavored thing.

Helps Damon do his homework so he doesnt pick on anyone to do it for him. Sure, they're a bully after all but they have a jimmy complex. They want order to the school, they dont want to rule it though. Having a dumb bum brother is embarrassing too. Had to teach him how to turn decimals into fractions.

Does that thing where you put some glue on your hand and wait for it to dry so you can peel it. Thinks its rather satisfying.

They're not a great person. Totally a bully, but only to perverts like earnest and people who piss themself at their grown age.(algie.)

All 3 of the siblings are opposites. Ronnie and Damon bicker over everyrhing while ethan uses/eats whatever theyre bickering about. He takes his chances even if it means getting his ass beat.

Got a family trip canceled because the fought over where thwy wanna go. Ethan chose japan, ronnie chose brazil, and damon didnt wanna go anywhere.

<3

[ravening25]

NORTH NODE 8TH HOUSE EXPERIENCE

Pain, pleasure, passion, power. Those were the words I uttered in my senior year way before I got in deep with astrology. My high school classmates and friends said that I am a walking contradiction: an outgoing and energetic individual with dark and edgy thoughts and vibe. Little do they know, I have gone through many transformations from a sensitive crybaby, the detached, logical but still sociable boy, the grounded organized and structured leader, to the outgoing and fiery energy teenager that my high school friends described to me. These transformations weren’t just me growing up, it was the result of intense emotional memory. I used to get bullied a lot because I was raised in a foreign land that returned to his native roots, and many were envious. After leaving elementary school, I became more detached and logical to avoid emotions as the result of my childhood trauma. I still showed emotions here and there (and expressed my Crybaby moments) but many times I was accused of being detached and nerdy at times. Not even that prevented me from getting bullied. I would have not been able to express my inner nerd further if it weren't for the fact that I joined the Boy and Girl Scouts unit in my school. I felt accepted for who I was, regardless of my interests and quirks. However, as I entered my sophomore year, I noticed that my classmates were chaotic, and even so the group of friends that I considered “the wrong crowd”. They were impulsive, insulting, and chit-chatty. The part I hated the most is that if they hear some crap such as me having a crush on some girl, they would immediately be so nosy about it. I sucked it up initially but I was too sensitive to toughen up, so I transformed. Not acknowledging my feelings and making me a meme forced me to become more stoic and not react outwardly. When summer came around, I slowly and subtly drifted away from them and vowed myself to never be close with anyone again. Oddly, when junior high school started, my Sagittarius Ascendant+Sun shined through with my new classmates (btw overwhelmingly of my classmates were transferees. I didn’t go to the U.S. for high school). Bonus that I nearly became the class president due to my charisma (LMAO). Suddenly, I was able to reveal myself to a room of strangers that I eventually would call “the best batch I ever had” up until my Senior year.

The point of my story is that North Node 8th housers will experience so much crap in their life as they age that they become somebody different. Our past lives, which I would rather describe as our younger years, are filled with comfort. We weren’t rich but we had more than enough resources to thrive in life. We had a successful small business and I have family members working abroad to help our business and our personal needs. 

Now that I shared my story, I would like to share my theory. The theory that I have is that North Node 8th housers will experience all the elements and signs in a 8th house way (This can be applied to all houses). I experienced all 4 elemental transformations and became empowered with it. From being lazy, angry, dumb, and chaotic, I grew to be the best version of myself. But I had to go through intense emotional events that forced me to change. As an adult approaching mid-20’s, I encourage 8th housers to study all the signs and elements that occupy in the 8th house. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Leo or Cancer North Node in the 8th house, somewhat you will experience other elements and signs (Though I think you’ll experience the elements more). Knowledge is power, and power is change. Through the pain of your trials, you will learn that life has meaning and pleasures. Through pleasure, you will gain the passion to become somebody better than they used to be. Through passion, you will gain power

[mc-lukanette]

Now that Wishmaker is out, how would you rewrite that chaos? The Lukanette need is strong.

"Did anyone else see me?" Marinette asked, her hands shaking as she put on the mask she'd made with her newly-given knitting powers. They were sitting down in a shadowed alley, free from anyone's curious eyes.

"No," Viperion replied, his voice breathless from the revelations he was having rather than the fly to their hiding spot. "Just...just me." He glanced down at his wrist, noting the unticked snake bangle. "...I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Marinette's gaze darted over to him, then to his miraculous. A flicker of understanding passed over her expression as she whispered a small, "Oh."

Guilt tore up his stomach, even knowing deep down that it wasn't his fault - the akuma had surprised them, giving no time for him to use his power - but he'd been brought in to use Second Chance in the first place, and yet...

Marinette's hand fell upon his wrist, making him look up. She smiled at him, her eyes reassuring.

"It's okay," she said, though her voice wavered. "It was only you who saw my face, and even if you'd used Second Chance, you'd still know anyway."

He could tell that she was still processing, but let the subject go for now and smiled back. There were more important matters to attend to.

They must've been on the same wavelength too, as Marinette pulled away and sighed, thinking aloud, "I have to figure a way to be Ladybug again. The akuma could just be destroyed, but I need Miraculous Ladybug to turn everyone back to normal."

Viperion nodded, briefly giving her a once-over. Her power and wings were useful, but unfortunately didn't help them with the current situation.

It was also distractingly cute, and he couldn't fight that way.

"Wishmaker said that he wanted people to live out their childhood dream," he murmured in thought.

Marinette brought a hand to her face, pinching her cheek in contemplation. "Maybe...maybe if I live it out then, I'll change back?" She considered it a moment longer, then groaned and stood up, starting to pace around the small area they were in. "But we don't have that kind of time! Yeah, my earrings aren't here so Shadow Moth can't make a wish, and I could definitely make enough of a living with my new knitting powers, but that would take years, and—"

Suddenly, she stopped and looked over at him, catching Viperion briefly off-guard since he hadn't said anything. Her eyes scanned him up and down, mental gears turning in her head even if he couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"...That's it!" she gasped, hurrying over to him. She knelt down, clasping his hand in both of hers as she rambled, "Maybe I just need to live out my dream to the fullest!"

He blinked in confusion, unsure of where she was going with this.

"Part of my dream was to eventually make a wedding dress and tuxedo for me and my future husband!" she exclaimed. "If I do that, I might turn back into Ladybug!"

"Ah—" He shut his mouth before anything else could come out. He couldn't deny that it was a solid plan, but he wanted to tread carefully given his feelings, not wanting to make her feel awkward. "That's a great idea." He tried to grin reassuringly, though it came off a little crooked. "Should I go find Adrien?"

"What?" She shook her head. "No, it has to be you!"

He gaped, his heart doing confused flips in his chest. "Why?"

"The guy I always dreamed of marrying when I was little," she began, eyes practically sparkling, "he was exactly like you!"

— — — — —

Marinette hadn't exactly caught onto what she'd said until it already left her mouth, but the way Viperion's face turned red had definitely given it away. Things had gone quiet after the fact, with him sitting a couple meters away while she knitted away at the tuxedo; the tuxedo for him.

She found herself blushing faintly at the thought and immediately forced it down, reminding herself that she didn't love Luka, but Adrien. They were made for each other, like everyone said, and she—

She closed her eyes and took in a steady breath, knowing that she was getting off track. Things were complicated enough with all her thoughts and fears about the future, especially now that Viperion knew her identity.

Though, strangely enough, she didn't feel as nervous about it as she thought she would've.

Her gaze darted over to Viperion, who was keeping lookout and patiently waiting for her to finish with her knitting. He thankfully didn't seem closed off from her at all, and it just served as a reminder as to how mature he was.

Without thinking, she found herself speaking up. "M...my parents..."

He looked over at her, his senses still apparently tuned for her despite his keeping watch. She averted her gaze to the knitting needles working their literal magic into the tuxedo.

"We saw a lot of movies where the girl gets the prince in the end, so they made sure to teach me that love wasn't about money or power or fame or anything like that." She bit her bottom lip, Adrien briefly flashing to mind. "So, I imagined me as the knitting fairy, and I'd make clothes for the whole world until I found him." She peeked up at him. "Someone who wouldn't laugh when I fell on my face. Someone who'd be there for me and think of me first. Someone who wouldn't scold me for everything I did or make me feel bad for it. Someone who'd see more than just clumsy, nervous Marinette."

As much as it hurt to admit, the description didn't fit Adrien. Unless they found each other by coincidence - something that actually happened today, oddly enough - he didn't go out of his way to spend time with her; it was her putting in the effort.

"And..." She trailed off momentarily, lost in her thoughts. "after we fell in love, I'd give up my powers and live happily ever after with him, because we didn't need powers to be happy and it wasn't my powers he fell in love with in the first place."

She'd finished the tuxedo at that point, courtesy of her knitting powers, but her hands dropped to her lap afterward, not making any further movements as her thoughts took over.

Out of the corner of her vision, she saw Viperion take a quick look outside the alley, then get up to move over to her. He sat next to her, picking up one of her hands and letting it rest in his palm.

"I think your dream is really beautiful," he told her gently.

She scoffed, blushing in embarrassment at what must've been fake praise. "Chat made fun of me wanting to be the knitting fairy."

"He was wrong," he retorted immediately. "Your dream might not be realistic, but that doesn't make it any less nice, and there's nothing wrong with dreaming of the perfect guy."

She met his gaze, the softness in them having not lessened even since their break-up, and found the strength to start working on the dress. Being with Luka - dating or otherwise - had always been so easy, excluding all the factors outside of just them being them. She could vaguely imagine her younger self clinging to Luka, claiming him as hers and insisting that he marry her when they grew up.

But things weren't that easy. Nothing was. Marinette had spent her whole life fighting for what she wanted, needing to prove herself to people in order to be accepted.

Fighting for years to smile against Chloe's bullying, because no one would do anything about it. Fighting to be acknowledged by her parents as someone who could do things and didn't need their protection. Fighting against herself to be the one who didn't make all the mistakes or have to be the one to apologize in the end.

After becoming Ladybug, her future became even cloudier and the fighting continued. Waking up in the morning was even harder thanks to late-night patrols, getting through tests seemed impossible due to having less time for studying, and even maintaining a romantic relationship carried the struggle of not being able to tell them her identity.

Marinette stared at the shimmering pink and white fabric beneath her fingertips, it shaping and forming to her will. The occasional sparkle or flash from a beam of sunlight that happened to shine through reminded her of the day at the TV station, where Luka had confessed and she could see only him for just a moment.

"I'm sorry."

Viperion hummed in confusion, raising a brow at her.

"I made everything complicated for you—us," she explained. "All the time, ever since we met. I even got you akumatized, twice."

"Twi—" He blinked rapidly, then leaned closer. His hand came in contact with her cheek as he directed her gaze back to him. "You mean Silencer? How was that your fault?"

"I challenged Bob Roth, and when he grabbed me, you got upset. It pushed you over to the edge."

"You were defending me and my music," he argued, a sternness in his tone that wasn't there before as he put his hand to his chest, "and my emotions are my own. I'm the one who gave into Hawk Moth, not you."

"But..." She sighed, conflicted. "Even later, I kept my identity from you when we were dating. I made us both miserable because of it. I was so upset that I ended up yelling at my friends and they all got akumatized, and then I went and gave my identity to Alya anyway."

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, though he quickly schooled his expression for reasons she didn't know. His gaze strayed momentarily before he looked back at her, asking, "Would you be upset at me for feeling happy for a moment, knowing that you were just as miserable as I was?"

"W-what?" She shook her head; if anything, knowing that he'd also been miserable made her happy as well, probably in the same way as it was for him. It meant that they both cared about it. "No! Not at all!"

"Then I don't blame you for your emotions either."

She pouted at him, but he merely smiled in response. She knew this wasn't a matter he was going to budge on, but it was difficult for her to understand when she was so commonly blamed for things. That was Luka though, she supposed, always forgiving and able to see through her faults.

She remembered her dream husband again and tried to act like her full focus was on the dress so as to not give her thoughts away. She'd only drawn the unnamed man once or twice, and it was just occurring to her that he had black hair and blue eyes as well. Having not understood the concept of kids looking like their parents in their own way at the time, the child version of her had thought it'd be "fair," because then their children would look like both of them no matter what. It was strange, just how much the "simple" version of her love ideals lined up with the boy sitting in front of her now, even with his temporarily green eyes.

Friendship had become something very precious to her ever since the day she'd gotten her miraculous, maybe even more than love itself. Despite the complications and their brief time dating, she was friends with Luka above all else. No matter what happened in regards to the romantic aspects of their relationship, their friendship remained unchanged, like they really would be friends even if they had the worst break-up in the history of Paris. It was comfortable, to the point where she felt embarrassed for ever avoiding him in the first place.

She was reminded yet again of another stark contrast with Adrien. She hadn't been scared of starting anything with Luka, yet Adrien was a constant cloud of dread above her head, the fear of being rejected or being made fun of holding her back from doing what she wanted.

If her child self could see her now, she'd be confused. Marinette could hear her now, asking why her love - or at least, what she believed to be love - caused her so much stress. That was never what she'd wanted; in fact, it had been the exact opposite. Crushing on Adrien had done nothing but humiliate her, the little girl inside her covering her eyes from the sight. Her time with Luka, on the other hand...

"It looks beautiful."

Marinette jerked her head up to see Viperion's approving gaze, then looked down to the wedding dress in her lap. It was finished, pink with flashes of white and blacks; exactly the kind of dress she would've wanted when she was younger, though obviously with an older touch.

"Thank you," she hurried to say when she realized that she hadn't responded to him. He chuckled in reply, though it was good-natured.

He reached for the tuxedo she'd set aside, but stopped halfway as if realizing something. He looked to her, then the dress, then back to her, asking carefully, "Do you want me to keep watch while we put these on?"

It took her a moment to realize what he meant; that he - wearing a bodysuit - could easily slip on the clothes over it, but she didn't have that sort of luxury due to her dress. She managed to summon enough of her inner Ladybug to focus on the importance of the task over the potential embarrassment, giving him an appreciative nod.

She trusted him not to look.

As she went to the darkest parts of the alley to change, Viperion heading in the opposite direction, her mind drifted back to the past again. The little journey there, even if it'd been unwilling on her part courtesy of the akuma, had been a nice change from constantly worrying over her future. As important as it was to focus on what she wanted to do and plan accordingly, the past was equally as important. It shaped her into who she was now and offered insight on herself that she couldn't have gotten otherwise.

"...Lu—I mean, Viperion?" she called just as she finished putting on the wedding dress.

"Yeah?"

She turned to face him, then giggled when noticing that he still had his back turned to her. "You can look now."

He hesitated, then slowly shifted to face her. He was mostly dressed, but was in the process of buttoning up the tuxedo, his hands fumbling with one of the buttons as he took her in.

She approached, gently brushing his hands aside as she started taking care of the few remaining buttons. Not wanting to delay talking to him like before, she figured now was the best time as any to say what was on her mind.

"I still don't know what I want for my future. I feel like a lot of doors are opening and closing every day, and whenever I want to try one, there just ends up being more doors, or it's already closed when I get there. There are too many possibilities and I keep being afraid that I'll trip on the one I really want to go to." Her gaze left the button she was holding so she could meet his eyes. "I just know that I really want you to be there for all of it... i-if that's what you want." Wanting to make sure instead of presuming like she tended to do, she asked cautiously, "Do you?"

His face didn't show a visible reaction, but she heard the slight sound of him swallowing, synced up with a single blink. Afterward, he absolutely beamed at her, the smile more blinding than the light being cast against his back.

"I do," he replied,

In time with his words, the final button was slipped into place. Marinette felt a warm sensation run through her body, starting from her feet and then making her shudder as it moved its way up to her head. Her body was turning white, just as before when Wishmaker first shot her, though Viperion's tuxedo had joined as well.

There was a flash between them, and she found herself back as normal, wingless Marinette when it faded.

Viperion, now lacking what she'd made for him, still looked just as happy to see her.

"I-I did it!" she gasped, genuinely surprised that it worked. "We did it!"

She threw her hands up in the air in celebration, but snapped back to reality as she remembered that she still needed to turn back into Ladybug and take care of Wishmaker. She opened her purse, easing as she saw Tikki already munching away on a macaron.

"Marinette?"

She looked back up at Viperion, noticing that he still had something to say. "Yes?"

"I might not be able to make enough sense of your inner music to tell you what you'll want, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. I know that whatever you decide to do is going to be as extraordinary as you are."

She stifled a squeak, blushing at the sudden compliment and thankful that Tikki was still chewing the last bits of the macaron. "A-ah, thank you. You too—with the extraordinary thing, not your inner music, because I can't hear that even though I'm sure it's really amazing!"

Had it been anyone else, she might've prayed for a hole to swallow her, but it was impossible to feel weird when he smiled at her the way he did.

Once Tikki had gotten her fill, Marinette transformed and they began to leave the alley together, though Ladybug stopped partway as she remembered something; something she'd done many times before and felt it time to get back to doing.

Viperion raised a brow at her sudden stopping, then stiffened when she leaned towards him and kissed his cheek. She flashed him a smile, noting silently that she missed these little exchanges between them, then leaped away to head back to where Wishmaker was likely to be. Viperion followed suit, but a split second behind his usual speed.

She was sure he'd be smiling back if she looked, but she didn't have to; they were connected, maybe not by some sort of magic thread or cosmic force, but by them and the relationship she hoped that they would continue to build in the future.

And whenever they got back to the fight, just in time to see Chat Noir allow himself to be hit by Wishmaker's attack, a few more doors would close and her future would start to look a little different than what she'd considered that morning.

Not necessarily in a bad way either.

[xreaderbooks]

Part of us

 Request: Could I request a Sirius x reader where the reader is maybe a year younger and his or regulus childhood best friend and she gets sorted to gryffindor so she becomes a target for bullies so Sirius and the marauders takes her under their wing....a few years later she gets hurt and Sirius gets super protective and confess his feelings....angst and fluff??

Pair: Sirius Black x reader, Platonic! Marauders x reader, Platonic! Regulus Black x reader

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: Language

A/N: So this is my first request... I don’t know if I did what you imagined justice but this is what I came up with and I really hope you enjoy. 

Masterlist 

When you were placed into Gryffindor you thought it was a mistake. There was no way with your long line of Slytherin pureblood, that you'd be a Gryffindor. Not that you thought there was anything wrong with that. You never cared to live up to people's expectations or what people thought of you, even though your parents did. And despite your family's attempts at making you see their way, you never could. There was no superior bloodline, you were all equal. But you played your part so you wouldn't hear the lectures or deal with all the drama. You didn't partake in the bullying or the maltreatment of muggle-borns or half-bloods like every other pureblood; you didn't see the need. You kind of just stood by or left whenever your friends would tantalize others.

However, when you got sorted you weren't the silent one while others bullied and tortured others who weren't deemed worthy in the eyes; you were the one getting bullied. The first few years you wanted to fight back but eventually, there were too many for you to handle. So you just dealt with it. At the parties that the pureblood families had thrown-- which your family was invited to-- your parents had advised you to try to blend in and not draw attention to yourself. For the most part, you did.

Regulus, your best friend tried to get you out of your shell. You tried to convince him that it wasn't you but your parents. You would've love to enjoy yourself at the parties, being dressed up and all that. But with your situation, you couldn't afford to make a fool out of yourself, and drinking firewhiskey in different rooms or sneaking off to where your parents couldn't keep an eye on you, wasn't a good idea. When you and Regulus were older your parents had set an arranged marriage between you two. Uniting rich and powerful families and all that. But You and Regulus were just the best of friends, always together. And just like everything else, that had to change. You now had to find ways to see each other in hidden places. Never to be seen together in front of students or staff in case it would get back to your parents. In Hogwarts you ignored each other, magically passing notes to update each other on your well-being. It was tough but you managed. Regulus was your only friend after all.

~~~

It was just another day at Hogwarts, You were avoiding Bellatrix Lestrange. Your main terrorizer. She had a group of Slytherins trailing her. Ever since you got sorted into Gryffindor every pureblood who was in Slytherin, taunted and teased you to no end. They jinxed you and called you weak. Saying things about how you weren't one of them. You knew that much but you didn't need the constant reminder.

Bellatrix and her group were right behind you as you were walking to the Gryffindor common room. You cursed in your mind, they saw you.

"Going somewhere L/N?" You ignored her. "You know it's rude to not answer your superiors."

"I'm not trying to bother anyone Bellatrix." You sighed but kept walking.

"Your presence alone bothers me." She sent a spell your way to catch your attention.

"Are you crazy?" You turned to face her, Your voice raising a bit. An amused smile played on her lips, she tilted her head to the side.

"You have no idea what crazy looks like Y/N/N." She stalked towards you in a predatory way.

"We grew up together Bellatrix," You slowly backed away from her so as to not set her off. "Name-calling and pranks are one thing but curses..."

You didn't know what you did to cause the special attention that others like first years or Muggle-borns got from Bellatrix. Sure you were never that close, you always got along better with Andromeda than Narcissa and the former, but never would you have thought that you'd be on the receiving end of her fury over blood status. This was outrageous you thought to yourself. How could anyone be this upset over what house people are in?

"Don't worry, after a while, they won't hurt." Your blood started to rush through your veins and a shiver ran down your spine. You stopped walking backward when you bumped into something behind you. A pair of arms held you to keep you steady. You turned around expecting another one of Bellatrix's "friends" only to be met with a tall, shaggy-haired boy.

Sirius Black, your best friend's older brother, who just so happened to be in your house. Relief washed over you. You were no longer outnumbered. Sirius and his group of Marauders were there. Surely they wouldn't just walk away from a fellow Gryffindor in trouble. Of course you never really had an affiliation with them besides the same color robes but they were good people, weren't they?

"We heard something about pranks?" James spoke.

Bellatrix scoffed, "This is none of your business Potter."

"Well Bellatrix considering how Y/N is a member of our house, it does make this our business," Remus replied. She cackled, "How fitting the two blood-traitors in one pitiful little group." She signaled the others to follow her and walked away.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, not letting go of your shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"C'mon we were just going back to the common room." He let go of your shoulders but tugged on the sleeve of your robe to follow them.

"What did you do to cause the wrath of crazy over there?" James questioned. He led the way to the common room, you kept your distance not really trusting any of them. Their reputation for being the school's signature pranksters didn't ease your mind as you walked with them. You never held a conversation with any of them before today, maybe a few with Remus but he was the only sane one out of all of them, it made sense that you were wary of their presence. Who knows what they had planned.

"Does anyone have to do anything at all to provoke her?" Sirius snorted, you gave him a questioning look and he just shrugged.

"No, I suppose not."

"Well Y/N I guess you could call yourself lucky your knight in shining armors were there to save the day." James' cocky smile written on his face assuming he was right.

"Although I appreciate the help, I could've handled myself." You stepped into the portrait hole, anxious to get back into your dorm room and take a nap.

"Not against all of them, you know sometimes you need to run in a pack L/N, you could get killed without one."

"You make it sound like we're wolves," you stated, each attempt to get back to your room was failed by every comment James made. What was his point?

"Some of us aren't," Sirius commented. You noticed Remus got tense and slightly shook his head.

"Point is Bellatrix and her groupies aren't going to quit bothering you and we want to help." James offered.

"What's the catch?"

"Why does there have to be catch? We want to be your friends." Sirius answered and plopped down on the chair across from the couch where you were sitting. You gave him a dead look. "Just think about it, hm?"

"Whatever." You got up from your seat and went to your dorm to take your well-needed nap.

Later that night you went down to the common room to read by the fire until you fell asleep. You felt like you'd only closed your eyes for 2 seconds when you were rudely awakened by Sirius.

"What?" You hissed. His mischievous grin made you want to slap him.

"You're coming with me." He took the blanket that you had wrapped around you, off.

"No." You said simply, reaching for the blanket again. Just as your eyes were beginning to close again you heard him say, "Yes."

He lifted you in his arms and you dramatically fell limp. "What the hell." You groaned loudly.

"Shh you're going to people up," You glared at him.

"Maybe they should wake up since I'm being kidnapped!" He rolled his eyes. You jumped from his arms so you could stand on your own.

"Where are we going?" You asked, Slowly recovering from being awoken.

"You'll see." That was all he responded as he continued to guide you out of the portrait hole and through the halls. You were anxious, in all the years of Hogwarts you never went out past curfew so you didn't know the chances of being caught and getting in trouble.

"Sirius, Filch may be out here." You warned.

"We'll be fine Y/N/N just trust me."

"I don't trust you that's my problem." You muttered. He turned around and looked at you. His piercing grey eyes shining in the darkness. He pulled out a long cloak from who knows where and wrapped it around the both of you, causing you to be closer together.

"This will keep us hidden so Filch won't catch us." The weight in your chest lifted and now replaced by butterflies. You inhaled sharply at the close proximity.

"You alright?"

You nodded, which gave him the confirmation he needed to continue, "Let's go."

When you made it to your destination you gasped. The astronomy tower, "Wow" you whispered, shedding yourself from the cloak. The night sky hadn't looked as beautiful as it did at that very moment. You've been here for class but you've never seen the stars so bright, you wondered what special cosmic event it must've been for the night sky to look the way it did.

You whipped around remembering who you were here with, you crossed your arms, "Why did you bring me here?"

"I can't take you sight-seeing now?"

"I had this class yesterday, this is hardly what I'd call sight-seeing." You arched a brow upwards. "Besides we're not exactly friends..." He gasped and feigned hurt by putting a hand over his heart.

"After all we've been through?" You rolled your eyes. He continued, "I was hoping we could change that. The boys and I have noticed you've been struggling socially and don't really play well with others, but I've seen the way you interacted with my brother before Hogwarts and you enjoy the company. I had to wonder why is it that you don't have that many friends?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but since I got sorted into Gryffindor my old "friends" and family haven't been that accepting considering the fact that they're all Slytherins, I mean you should know how it is." You sighed and took a seat resting your back against a wall facing the night sky. "The people I used to get along with, well, their parents don't want them to spend time with me. As for not having friends in our house, nobody has tried to get to know me, they just assume I'm like the other Slytherins even though I was placed here for a reason." You scoffed, people truly were ridiculous. "It sucks cause every side thinks I've chosen to be apart of what they go against when in reality I'm not apart of anything."

He stared at you, you then realized that you went on a full-on rant and nervously looked down, picking at your nails. He'd been silent the entire time listening. It was nice, "You could be apart of us."

You were skeptical, "Sirius this isn't funny." You moved to get up.

"It's not a joke Y/N." He chuckled.

"You're not being very convincing right now."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"We've barely spoken to each other in all these years of Hogwarts, even before Hogwarts!" you threw your hands in the hair. "I went over your house for playdates with Reg and never had one conversation. You and your friends have a reputation for pranks, How do I know this isn't one of them?"

"Because I'm not trying to prank you Y/n, in fact, I'm trying to help you. We all are." He put his hands on your shoulders to get you to look at him. "I know how it feels to be all alone in a world like that. To be in an environment where you feel uncomfortable with those people. Knowing all the wrong things they say and not being able to say anything because they'll disown you."

"The difference between you and me is that you got out." You shoved his hands off your shoulders. "Not all of us have a James."

"Y/n-"

"I'll think about it." With that, you left, not caring if you were to get caught.

If you were being honest the reason why you didn't want to be friends with the marauders was that they had 3 years to be friends with you, you knew Sirius from years prior. Why didn't he come to you sooner? Knowing you had been friends with his little brother. He just sat there and watched while you spent the first 3 and a half years of what should've been the most fun years of your life at Hogwarts, lonely and sad. If his defense was that he could sympathize with your situation and that he wanted to help; why didn't he approach you sooner? Also, you might've been a little bitter about him having a place to go to while you still had to stay with your parents.

~~~

You did think about after that Night with Sirius, you decided you give them a chance. You wouldn't be cornered alone anymore or hopefully cornered at all. You would have a group now. You also thought it was great that you had someone you could relate to in the group and someone that you somewhat knew. You never thought that you'd be actual friends with your childhood crush, even if that was your best friend's older brother and you'd spend more time in his house than your own most days; but here you were.

Being a part of the Marauders was fun, you were practically family now. They let you in on their little secret; with Remus' permission of course. They informed you of his full moon situation. They offered to help you become an animagus, which you denied, you didn't want to deal with all of that. You helped James with Lily, it wasn't easy but it worked somehow. You would help them with their pranks. They pulled pranks on the people who used to bully you all the time which you appreciated greatly. It was nice knowing they had your back and they knew you had theirs.

Nobody messed with you now and you gained a few more friends now. Lily, Alice, Dorcas, and Mary. It was all great. Except for your growing crush on a certain Marauder. With every moment you spent with him your heart swelled, it wasn't a great idea to get involved with him in that way. You were his brothers best friend, he'd seen you grow up, and took you under his wing when you were in need (you always thought even if he truly wanted to be your friend, it was a sort of favor for Regulus since he couldn't be there) there was no way he would be interested in you. But you had always hoped.

You remembered one Christmas that your parents had forced you to go to a party that the Malfoys would throw annually. It was terrible. You didn't have your friends there with you and Regulus couldn't talk to you with his parents watching. The blacks were suspicious of you spending more time with their son, who they disowned and like every other parent at that party, they didn't want Regulus to associate with you. So you were alone again. The only perk of this entire thing was you didn't have to completely show your face since it was a masquerade ball theme.

Evan Rosier came up to you, your eyes narrowed and you tilted your head in question. "Shame you spend your time with those blood traitors Y/N, I would have asked you out."

"I think I lucked out on that one Rosier." You took a sip from your drink shifting your gaze to somewhere else.

"You filthy little-"

"Careful what your next words are, my friend, I don't think Mummy and Daddy would appreciate it much." A voice that came from behind you said.

"You are not even supposed to be here, Black."

"Sirius!" You threw your arms around his neck, he wrapped his around your waist. You heard Evan scoff and leave.

"Y/N darling, have I told you that you attract way too much trouble."

"No, but I'm starting to think you're right." You pulled away from him, realizing that you were in the eyesight of your parents. "What are you doing here? Your parents will kill you if they see you here."

"I couldn't let you come here alone, with all these people." He looked around with distaste.

"Alright well, we have to find a more private place so you won't get caught." You grabbed his hand in yours and led the way to the maze garden.

"Y/N if you wanted to get into my pants, all you had to do was ask." He wiggled his eyebrows, You shoved him away. "Gross."

"Okay so I didn't tell you this but James and I are breaking you out of here."

"How the hell are you planning on doing that?"

"Easy, a distraction." You were about to ask what the distraction was when you saw a stag through the windows. Screams of the people were coming from the inside. You put a hand over your mouth to cover your smile. You did not expect that at all. Sirius retook your hand and pulled you deeper into the maze when the guests were filing out.

You stopped when you were finally in the middle, there was an enchanted fountain spewing water. you had a rush of energy and laughed. Sirius was looking down at you.

"Where'd James go?"

"He should be coming soon." He replied. It was quiet for a while before Sirius scooped up water from the fountain and threw it at you. You gasped, "You asshole!"

You dipped your hand in the water and flicked it at him. This started a war between the two of you. You ducked behind the fountain and threw water at him whenever you got the chance and he did the same. It wasn't until you heard footsteps coming that you stopped.

"Y/N?" You remembered that voice, you whipped around quickly and almost fell into the water if it wasn't for Sirius who had put a hand on your back to catch you.

"Reg?" He ran to you and wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and twirling you around. Once he put you down he pulled you away at arm's length to observe you.

"You're wet." He stated, confused.

"Water fight." you smile into the response. He laughed and threw his head back.

"Only you." Sirius coughed, you almost forgot he was there.

"Hello, brother." Regulus nodded to him. "It's been a while, I've missed you."

"Have you?" You gave Sirius a look, now was not the time. This was the first time you've seen Regulus in months, years even. You didn't need them to argue.

"We should talk." He suggested, You agreed and strolled along the maze with Regulus, noticing that the guests have all returned inside.  

"So you escaped your parents." You started talking.

"So I did." he glanced at you. "But only for a bit, they'll start to wonder where I've gone. I just needed to see you."

"Yeah me too."

"I just wanted to let you know that I can't write to you anymore." Your brows furrowed in confusion. "Why not?"

"It's not safe."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just know things are about to get serious and dangerous and I have to do things that I know you won't agree with to keep you safe."

"Reg, I-I don't know what you're saying."

"Soon enough you will." He stopped walking. "I needed you to know before I cut ties with you, that I love you. You're my best friend and I never want you to get hurt." You felt the tears forming.

"I love you too." He caresses your cheek and kisses them both before saying his final Goodbye. You were left standing there trying to decipher his words.

Eventually, you found yourself back where you and Sirius were playing with water. He was sitting on the edge of the fountain. He stood up when he saw you and your tearstained cheeks. He wrapped you in a hug.

"I'm glad you came." You whispered, hugging him back. He kissed the top of your head and told you that it was time to go. You went to James' house, you spent Christmas and summers there from then on. You never returned home. You slept in the guest bedroom and Sirius stayed with James in his room. Your parents sent you a letter telling you that you were no longer welcome at their house since you chose to associate yourself with bad company that was ruining their reputation. You didn't care much about it, knowing you had a better family now.

It wasn't until you graduated from Hogwarts that you figured out what Regulus was talking about. The war was getting more serious, Lily and James had to go into hiding, you and Sirius had joined the order, you became partners on missions, your bond growing more and more every day.

~~~

"There's too many of them Y/N we need to go back to headquarters!" Sirius yelled over the sounds of fighting. This was supposed to be a quick mission to find out where Voldemort was going to attack next. Hopefully saving a family and your best friends. But as always nothing went according to plan, you didn't drink enough poly juice potion that let you take the face of a death eater that you and Sirius had captured. You didn't bring the flask with you so in the middle of asking questions you transformed back into your true form, which then brought on the fighting.

"No! You go and get the others," A curse was sent your way, you blocked it. "I can fight them off in the meantime!"

"There's no way I'm leaving you with all of these death eaters!"

"Well I'm not going, we just need to catch one and get the information we need!" You continued to duel with Evan Rosier who was easily blocking all of your offensive spells. 'Shit' was all you thought. Six against two were not great odds and you were getting tired. Sirius made a point of retreating. If you were to leave now, you lost the element of surprise and they would be expecting you next time. That or they would retaliate. Great just great, all because you forgot to bring extra poly juice potion.

"Now is not the time to play hero, we can try another day." He took your hand and apparated you to a random alley in another part of London, but not before you were struck with a stinging spell.

"Fuck-" Tears stung in your eyes, Sirius was rushing towards you screaming your name.

The next thing you know you were waking up in a bright room. You assumed you were at St. Mungos. Memories of the moments before you were brought her played in your head. You slowly opened your eyes you turned your head to the sound of snoring. Sirius was sitting in a chair beside your bed. Despite feeling like shit you decided to throw a pillow at his head to wake him up. He sat up quickly, eyes wide staring at you.

"What the fuck?"

"Even when you're asleep you are annoying."

"I'm sorry I was up all night taking care of your dumb-ass."

"Apology accepted." You broke into a smile when you saw his face. He was so...serious. You could never let go of that joke.

"I'm not joking around, you were bad like so bad I thought I lost you."

"Siri-" You sat up in your bed.

"No Y/N I don't think you understand how serious this situation was. You had seizures and might've slipped into a coma. You've been in and out for days now." Your smile faded. "I-I thought I was going to lose you and I can't, not you." He shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

"Sirius, we all get injured, it happens. It's apart of the job."

"Yes but you're different."

"How? How is it any different than if this were to happen to Remus or James or any of the others?"

"Because I love you!" You tried to process his words. He searched your eyes for any response but you were in shock. He spoke softly, "It's different from the others because I am in love with you. I have been for a while.

"You don't have to say it back, you probably don't-" You grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket and kissed him.

"You're an idiot." You kiss him once more and looked him in the eyes and said "I'm in love with you too."

Tags: @divergirl99

[throughtheinterstices]

for the one who does not wear his heart on his sleeves (feat. oikawa tooru's onee-san)

❝ oikawa tooru does not wear his heart on his sleeves. oikawa toura, his older sister, knows this well. ❞

characters. oikawa toura, tooru’s onee-san; oikawa t. x fem!reader

genre. drama, comedy, slight romance

word count. 4.8k words

warnings. themes of teenage pregnancy

a/n. i wanted to delve a bit into tooru's character and thought, "who else would let us get to know him better than his older sister?" reblogs are appreciated. and as always, i’d be happy to hear your thoughts.

HAIKYUU MASTERLIST • AO3

及川 Oikawa reaching the river

Oikawa Tooru was not one to wear his heart on his sleeves. This didn’t stop girls from clinging on to them, however.

Oikawa Toura contemplated on this every time her younger brother got himself a girlfriend.

She figured that his handsome looks, good grades, athletic talent, and irresistible charm make up for it. (Not that she would ever admit it to her younger brother. Even then, Tooru wouldn’t be able to get all the credit. The Oikawa genes were impeccably attractive, so they all possessed the same assets anyway.)

The girls started to flock him when he was really young. Tooru was a cute and energetic kid. He was always running around with a volleyball that he loved to toss and a unique boyish charm that made him beguiling.

It was no wonder that his first grade classmate in elementary always lent Tooru her princess stickers-filled pencils whenever he “forgot” to bring his own, that Tooru weighed surprisingly heavier one time in elementary school because he always had extra to eat during meal times (courtesy of his third grade seatmate), that Tooru went home blushing one time during pre-school because a cute girl kissed him on the cheek. Toura, herself, was amused by his early puppy-love kind of escapades.

But as leaves changed color and as the siblings experienced more that life had to offer, Oikawa Toura found herself concerned about her brother. Tooru, as a kid, was a fluffy cinnamon roll that everyone wanted to devour. As a teenager, he was something else. He was growing well into the magnetic Oikawa looks, with the towering height, the playful grins, the captivating russet eyes. Partner it with his fastidious methods of fixing up, he was practically teenage royalty.

But as all teenagers were, it was easy for all the attention to get into his head. So Toura took it upon herself to keep him on his toes and to give him a few slaps back to reality.

-

“Ouch!” Tooru recoiled from his sister’s hand. “What was that for?”

“Stop acting like a superstar!” Toura hissed, her eyes molding into the famous Oikawa glare that she inherited from her mother. She sneaked a glance toward the flock of girls they passed by a second earlier. “You’re not only embarrassing me, you’re also embarrassing yourself!”

Tooru raised his hands in defense. “I was just waving! Is it so bad to be polite?”

“Being courteous and narcissistic are two different things!”

“Me? Narcissistic?” Tooru put a palm to his heart.

“Yeah! I’ve heard a few things about you lately!” Toura accused.

“Ya!” Tooru fished for his phone. “When did Iwa-chan become so talkative?”

Toura swiped his phone away in a flash. “You think Iwa’s the only one who notices your obnoxiousness? A lot of different people come to me just to put you in your place! Do them a favor and turn it down a bit, huh?”

Tooru huffed in disbelief. “You? Just who would do that? Everyone’s scared of you!”

Murder. That was what Toura was going to do. “What did you just say?”

-

Toura most often gave her brother tough love. It really couldn’t be avoided with a sibling as exasperating as Tooru. It was what his thick head needed. At first, the elder sister was frustrated whenever her brother would brush her off, would be so defensive, would grumble blatantly to the side, and sometimes would even run away at the very sight of his “nagging” sister.

Later on, these younger brother tendencies would put a knowing smile on Toura’s face. Toura thought that she would be forever pulling Tooru by the ear, yapping at him to “be nice” to his juniors or to “treat that girl well.” Apparently, forever was a bit too much. She realized this once during a phone call with her brother’s best friend.

-

“Iwa!” Toura called into her phone, as she exited her the room of her son, who was finishing his homework.

“Hai, onee-san!” the person on the other line coughed.

“How are you?” she chirped, entering the kitchen. “I heard you’re one of the main players for the team this year! Congratulations!”

Talking to Tooru’s friends was one of the joys of her life. When they first met her, she might have gone overboard with the fierce act and left them terrified. Through the years, they slowly got over it but she was still her mother’s daughter who inherited her temper. Tooru’s friends became witnesses to her losing it a couple of times so she couldn’t really blame them for being careful around her. Toura used their wariness to have fun once in a while.

“Ah, thank you very much,” Iwaizumi answered, brief and respectful.

Toura grinned, whipping out some strawberries from the fridge. “Iwa! You’re so polite, unlike some people I know!”

Iwaizumi hurried to reply. “Don’t worry, onee-san, Oikawa’s on his way home.”

Such loyal friends, Tooru. “Hmm? I didn’t ask for him.”

“But you were going to… right?” Iwaizumi’s hesitation was too adorable.

“Yes, sorry to bother you all the time, Iwa.” Toura tried to keep her tone sweet. “Let me just ask, is there a particular reason as to why this onee-san has to make excuses for her little brother’s lateness?”

If he was bullying the first years again…

“He’s helping the first years with their serves,” Iwaizumi said. “Sometimes with their spikes too.”

Huh. “Really?”

“Hai.”

“And how’s that been going so far?” Toura asked.

“Hmm… I can’t say really…” Iwaizumi said. “A few days of practice won’t really show much results but somehow the first years don’t seem too lost. Though sometimes they do seem irked by Oikawa’s stupid perso—”

The other line went silent.

Toura laughed. How cute.

“It’s okay, Iwa! I have firsthand experience with that stupid personality of his. Totally understandable.”

She could hear his breath of relief.

“Okaa-san!” Takeru’s voice echoed from the hall.

“I have to go, Iwa. I’ll cover for him but tell him he has to wash the dishes for two weeks.”

Toura hung up, shaking her head at the thought of her (not so) agitating brother.

-

Though Tooru put up a prickly front, deep down inside, Toura knew her brother always listened to the important things she said. With this, Toura was relieved. At the same time, she was concerned. Rivers looked shallow from those who viewed it from afar. A closer look would let people’s eyes see the depth of its waters. What Toura worried about was that people only saw her brother for the things that were skin deep. Worse, that they only loved him for these things.

Tooru was more than those. If only people looked a little closer and deeper.

冬麗 Toura winter, beautiful

Oikawa Tooru was not one to wear his heart on his sleeves. Oikawa Toura felt she was partly to blame.

-

She was eighteen, just about to enter college. It was the spring of life. New beginnings. New opportunities. Adversities would come her way. That was inevitable. She expected them to come like light rainfall, showering her days with just enough raindrops to make every color vibrant and with just enough trouble for her to appreciate the good and to grow steadily as she went. She was an Oikawa, adept with the woes of the water. She would conquer it just like she did all the other times, with the cutting russet eyes of her father and the fiery disposition of her mother.

At least, she was supposed to.

Spring was the season of new life. She was prepared for all of the changes that were coming, all except for the birth of the new life growing inside of her. Toura was eighteen when she found out she was pregnant with Takeru. Tooru was nine.

The light drizzle she was anticipating was nothing compared to the storms that came.

The strongest downpour surged one night in the kitchen of the Oikawa household. Lights all around the house were dimmed. Windows were shut. Doors were locked. Tooru was tucked impatiently to bed earlier than usual.

All throughout the night until the wee hours of the morning, the usual sanctuary of home-cooked meals and family banter became a cold court of trial. Eyes were bloodshot: Toura’s from crying, her mother’s from exhaustion, her father’s from anger. Hands were shaking: Toura’s from hopelessness, her mother’s from pity, her father’s from disappointment.

Toura had never seen her parents the way they were that night. Her mother was normally the raging one, with all the scathing beration and the matching fiery gaze. That time, it was her father, her typically sarcastic laid back father, who was blazing with fury.

By the early morning, all backs were slumped. All voices were hoarse.

As Toura crawled her way back into her room, she heard the hurried shutting of a door.

Tooru was awake.

At that time, Toura didn’t have the energy to dwell on it. She just dragged herself to bed and hoped to forget, even just for a while.

-

As much as her parents tried to act ordinarily, Tooru was an intelligent kid. He heard the raised voices at midnight when they thought he was asleep. He heard his sister’s muffled cries as she crawled her way back into her room. He noticed her carefully hidden swollen eyes in the morning. He saw through everyone’s strained smiles the weeks that followed.

Keeping true to his family name, as the river followed the path the soil has carved for it, he followed the flow that his family had created. He never questioned the changes that happened within their home and their family. Yet, he never remained idle either.

-

The season was spring. However, it had never been more winter for Oikawa Toura. The sun was still high and shining down on the secluded playground near the Oikawa household; even so, Toura had never been so cold. She was donning her favorite sweater and held tightly toward her father’s coat (for comfort or for warmth, she was not sure) but it was to no avail.

Toura was seated on a park bench, with a child blooming inside her womb and the father sitting beside her.

The “father.”

Among the excellent genes of the Oikawas were some not-so-pleasant ones, such as sarcasm or hot tempers (this comes from the mother’s side though). Stupidity was not one of them. Oikawa Toura could take a hint. Hints, to be more accurate.

After dropping the bomb on her boyfriend, after having a long crying session with him, after listening to all his promises of “we’re going to figure this out,” after seeing him off as he shipped himself to Tokyo and she stayed in Miyagi, after weeks of pruned text messages, and after complete utter silence in the end, Oikawa Toura knew that he did not want to be a “father.”

Toura sighed. “Just get to the point.”

She did not even turn to know that he had whirled around to face her. That was how much she knew him. Loved him.

Hell.

“I—can’t.” The crack in his voice broke her. Or maybe it was the meaning of his words. Or maybe, she had been long broken, way back from the moment he first chose to leave.

Well, this time, I’m the one leaving.

“Okay,” Toura whispered. It was the most difficult thing to do, to pull herself up and walk away from him.

“Wait—”

Toura halted. She almost turned back and buried herself in his arms.

If not for the whirling volleyball, the sound of the collision, and the groan.

She did pivot her head a bit, just enough to see her boyf—ex-boyfriend crumpled on the floor, his hands clutching at some very painful goods.

Before she could do anything, her hand was tugged by a familiar grasp and towed away from the scene.

Right there, Oikawa Tooru, with one arm clutching a volleyball tucked and the other on her sister, was walking briskly, a resolute look on his face.

Toura did not exactly know the right response. She had always been a slave to her emotions. She knew, because she was going to become a mother soon, she had to let this go, but to hell with it, there was still time.

“Hey,” she found herself saying. “Nice kill.”

Tooru swiveled in surprise. Just as quickly, irritation morphed in his features. “I was aiming for his head actually.”

“Well then, actually aim for what you hit next time.”

After a long while, Oikawa Toura found herself grinning.

-

At eighteen, Oikawa Toura had to face the consequences of her actions. She had to endure their relatives’ disappointment and mocking. She had to put up with the whispers around their town. Sendai’s golden girl was ruined. The girls who used to want to befriend her disappeared. The guys who ogled at her never looked at her again.

Spring, summer, and autumn all felt like winter to Toura. How symbolic. She finally lived up to her name.

Oikawa Toura. River. Winter.

What exactly happened to the river during winter? It went cold. Sometimes, it even froze. That was how she survived it all. Oikawa Toura chose to harden herself to everyone’s frigidity, to life’s cold harsh truth.

Tooru was aware of it all. At nine years old, he learned that if he showed vulnerability, he wouldn’t leave the battlefield intact. Especially in their world. If he showed his heart to the wrong people, he was bound to get hurt.

So at nine, Oikawa Tooru buried his heart deep within himself and only allowed a few people in.

徹 Tooru to go through, committing to one thing to the end

Oikawa Tooru was not one to wear his heart on his sleeves. His love was rare.

When it came to love, Tooru was one who used his head. He only gave his love to the people and the things that he knew would be worth it. This was why he revealed his heart only to a few chosen.

To his family: his nonchalant father, his fierce mother, his headstrong sister, his cute nephew.

To his close friends: his reliable Iwa-chan, his bright Makki, his good-natured Mattsun.

And of course, to volleyball.

However, even with all the preventive measures her younger brother had taken, Oikawa Toura knew that it could not protect him from heartbreak.

-

“I’m going to bed. Already ate.”

Toura watched as Tooru climbed the stairs with heavy feet, sagged shoulders, and defeated eyes.

She gave an inquiring look to their mother. “He got benched today. In their game with Shiratorizawa.”

“Oh,” Toura replied.

She heard her son’s light footsteps running towards the stairs. “Toowu! Toowu! Let’s pway!”

She caught Takeru before he managed to reach the second floor and shushed him. “Tooru-ojisan isn’t feeling well today, Takeru.”

Toura watched her son pout. She mussed his hair and said, “You can play with him tomorrow. Hopefully, he’ll be better by then.”

-

Toura was frantically scrolling through different contacts on her phone when Tooru came in and announced, “I’ll take Takeru to his volleyball lessons.”

His older sister stared at him, dumbfounded.

“On Monday, right?” Tooru said, rummaging through the fridge.

Toura was confused. “I thought your girlfriend was going to introduce you to her parents on Monday.”

“Nah,” Tooru answered, his fingers shifting back and forth from the banana milk to strawberry milk.

“What do you mean ‘nah?’ I thought you really liked this girl?” Toura said.

“Apparently, I liked volleyball more and she grew tired,” Tooru replied, finally getting his hands on the banana milk.

Toura scoffed. “Well, I never even liked her in the first place.”

“I know.” Tooru drilled his straw through his drink. “Don’t worry about Takeru, nee-san. I’ll take care of him.”

Tooru moved to leave the room. Toura called him back. “Oi. You okay?”

Her younger brother paused for half a second—half a second too long—before turning back. He waved his hand as if to disregard the entire thing. “Of course. Onee-san, I’m Oikawa Tooru.”

Toura rolled her eyes at her grinning brother. It was when Tooru left that his older sister felt more unsettled.

-

He was Oikawa Tooru. He tried to show everybody that he just brushed off his worries. He had inherited their father’s devil-may-care façade and his tendency to mask his problems by joking about them. But when he’s alone, Toura knew that Tooru took everything hard.

Toura wished she could spare her brother the pain because she knew how cruel life was. She knew she could not.

Oikawa Tooru was not one to wear his heart on his sleeves. Then you came along.

Out of all the girls Tooru had had, you were different. First of all, you weren’t even his girlfriend. You were just a friend. Someone who lashed out on him for punching a vending machine and later on, found your way into his inner circle.

Safe to say, Oikawa Toura was quite alarmed, skeptical, and just a little bit curious.

-

“So you mean to say that you really didn’t know who he was?” Toura asked you. The two of you were sitting beside the makeshift court on the backyard of the Oikawa household, watching Tooru and his friends play volleyball with Takeru.

You buried your head into your hands. “He told you?”

“Psh.” Matsukawa appeared in front of you. “Mr. I’m-Better-Than-Everyone-Here? Of course not!”

“I told her!” Hanamaki said, taking a swig of the tea you and Toura bought.

Toura held her palm up for a high five. Hanamaki eagerly returned it.

“Ya! My own friends! How could you?” Tooru barked, hurling a volleyball towards them.

Iwaizumi easily dodged it, choosing carefully among the pastries laid out. “How could we not?”

“Aww, was wittle Toowu’s pwide hurt?” Toura teased.

Tooru made a face and turned to his nephew.

“Look Takeru, this is not something you should copy from your mother!”

Toura retaliated, hugging her son close to her. “Takeru, unlike your oji-san, you should stay humble, okay?”

Takeru, used to her mother and uncle’s banter, wiggled free of his mother’s grasp, ignored the two of them, and dug into the pastries you bought.

Toura tried not to be hurt by her son’s actions and diverted her attention to you instead.

Resting her cheek against her palm, she asked, “How did the two of you actually, well, talk to each other then? I mean, YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHO HE WAS.” She added the emphasis just to irk her brother.

Effective. He was staring daggers at her.

Lifting your face from your hands, you answered, “Well, he was out punching vending machines by the gym—"

Toura wheeled towards Tooru’s direction. “You punched a vending machine?”

“I was having a bad day,” Tooru muttered, suddenly preoccupied with snacks.

Briefly, his gaze shifted to you. You looked back at him with sympathetic understanding.

Hmm…

-

Mornings were hectic in the Oikawa household. Everyone had somewhere they needed to be. Movement filled the house and a string of “ittekimassu” followed. On this particular Monday, the two siblings were the last to go.

As they were putting on their shoes, Toura was intrigued by the two bento boxes Tooru had packed.

“How hungry are you?” Toura remarked.

“The other one’s for the smart girl of the group,” Tooru said, standing up and fixing his hair in front of the mirror. “She’s too engrossed in her books that sometimes, she forgets to eat.”

Clicking her heels in place, Toura asked, “Just who is she to you, Tooru?”

Tooru’s hands froze. “What kind of question is that?”

Toura gave him a pointed look.

“She’s my best friend!”

“I thought Iwa was your best friend.”

“He is!” Tooru exclaimed. “This is different!”

“I’ll say!” Toura turned her back to him. “Ittekimasu!”

“Ya! Onee-san!”

-

Toura rushed into the halls of her former alma mater. Her steps quickened as she caught sight of the infirmary.

“How’s my brother?” Toura nearly shoved her face into the school nurse’s. “Will he still be able to play?”

This was Tooru’s second knee injury. It would excruciatingly break his heart if his volleyball dreams ended here.

“I can’t say,” the nurse said, breaking the news softly. “He needs to see a doctor first.”

Toura’s breath hitched. “Where is he?”

“In the other room.” The nurse pointed to the door of the adjoining room.

Toura nodded. She turned the knob slowly and quietly, just in case Tooru was asleep.

He wasn’t. Toura heard his muffled sobs before she saw your figure tightly holding on to her younger brother. His shoulders were shaking. It seemed like you were the only thing keeping him together.

“This is the one thing I’m good at!” Tooru cried. “Hard work! And even in this, I failed!”

“Shhh,” you say. “It’s not a failure. It’s a setback.”

“Yeah, right.” He pulled back from your embrace. “What if… What if this is the end for me? What if all those years of proving I’m worth something, of chasing after Ushiwaka, of outrunning Kageyama… What if it all just ends here?”

Toura remained before the door. She waited to hear what you would say. Personally, she didn’t know how to respond. How does one answer to that?

“Then let it end here,” you said. Toura gasped.

Tooru’s eyes bulged.

“Chasing Ushiwaka, beating Kageyama… Let that all end here. Why did you choose to play volleyball?”

Something dawned in Tooru. “I… love to play volleyball… Always have…”

“That’s right. You love volleyball. It sharpens your senses. It makes you feel alive. I’ve seen it. This is why you play volleyball.” Your voice was as unwavering as you gaze.

You softened. “It’s not going to end here, Tooru. No matter what happens, even if it takes millions of therapy sessions, I know and you know that you’re not going to let it end here.”

Toura carefully closed the door, not wanting to intrude in their intimate discussion. Before she did, she saw the change in her younger brother’s previously defeated expression. It was now hopeful.

She did not know what would happen next. Perhaps, hope was what he needed most. Toura felt most grateful for your presence in that moment.

-

The crowd screamed as one of Tooru’s serves reached Shiratorizawa’s side of the court unreceived. First set won by Aoba Jousai!

Toura joined them with her own set of cheers. “That’s my baby brother right there!”

Takeru pretended as if he wasn’t related to her. You erupted in laughter beside her.

Toura faced you, flashing you a broad smile.

“I think he heard you!” you shout, pointing to the scowl on Tooru’s face, evident even from the stands.

Toura stuck her tongue out at her brother. It was obvious where he got that from.

To add fuel to the fire, Toura gestured to his jersey and tilted her head towards you, as if to say, “So you gave her your jersey, huh?”

Tooru reddened and avoided his gaze, running uncharacteristically towards his teammates.

Toura smirked. Best friend my ass.

“I told him his hard work would pay off,” she heard you whisper. “He sells himself so short sometimes.”

Toura watched as you mumble things to yourself, touched by your affection towards her brother.

-

Out of all the girls that Tooru had had, you saw him for who he was, not for who he was trying to let everyone see. You weren’t starry-eyed for him. You didn’t let him off the hook from all of his pettiness and faults. Somehow, you inspired him to rise above his inferiorities and become better. Remarkably, you were able to let him break down all the barriers that he put up.

It was safe to say that out of all the girls that Tooru had had, you were the one his older sister liked best.

Oikawa Tooru was not one to wear his heart on his sleeves. Because he knew that love was pain.

“Tadaima,” Tooru called softly.

It was the night before his flight to Argentina. A few minutes ago, the Oikawa household was a boisterous place, filled with Oikawa relatives and Tooru’s teammates and friends. The clamor earlier was the opposite of the silence that echoed as Tooru slipped in.

“I’m here,” Toura called from the backyard.

“What are you doing here?” Tooru asked, taking a seat beside his onee-san.

Toura puckered her lips. “I was waiting for my favorite baby brother.”

“I’m your only brother,” Tooru pointed out. “And will you please stop it with the ‘baby?’ I’m an adult now! I’m even going to Argentina tomorrow.”

“I know.” Toura sighed. “Can’t you be my baby brother a bit longer? It feels like you’re running further and further away.”

Tooru was torn between repulsion and affection. “Who are you and what have you done to my monster onee-san?”

That earned him a smack.

“Just tell me you’re going to miss me,” Tooru said, rubbing the spot that his onee-san hit.

“Tch.” Toura rolled her eyes and diverted her gaze toward the makeshift court the two of them had built back when they were younger. How time flew. Now, he was off to play in bigger courts.

“So…” Toura started.

“So?” Tooru asked.

“I’m guessing, you’re still friends?”

“Hmm?”

“With the girl you walked home earlier, your best friend, the love of your life.” Toura raised her hands in exaggeration.

Tooru had a solemn look on his face. “I’m eighteen, onee-san. I don’t even know what love is.”

Right then and there, she caught a glimpse of the nine year-old fear that had been plaguing his heart. Toura always thought that people can only inherit things from their parents. Apparently, they can inherit things from their siblings too. Just like hand-me-down clothes worn out through time, Tooru had witnessed his elder sister’s experiences and acquired her pain.

Because of this, she knew he was mistaken. He knew too much about love. That love wasn’t just stolen kisses, first dates, holding hands, and smiles. It was pain too. It was the fear of not being enough, of being left behind.

It was true that love was anguish. But after nine years, Toura was able open her eyes to different aspects of love. She found it in her son’s laughter greeting her after a tiresome day. In her father’s jokes during tense moments. In her mother’s complaints about anything and everything. In her brother’s steadfastness especially when she needed it.

She saw it in the way Tooru looked at you.

“I doubt that,” Toura said.

“I doubt a lot of things,” Tooru replied.

“But never anything with her,” his elder sister said softly, looking at him in her periphery.

Tooru shook his head.

“You love her,” she said.

Tooru whispered, defeated. “I do.”

-

The next day brought a sense of déjà vu to Toura. She felt like she’s lived the scene before. A boy was leaving, off to chase his dreams. A girl was being left behind, to make do of what she had.

She had to remind herself that this was different. It was her brother, always keeping true to his name. He would go through everything life had to offer and he would commit to the things that he loved until the end. He was kind in his core, loyal to the ones he loved. He was not the scumbag who couldn’t make up his mind nine years ago.

It was you, the wisest and most understanding person Toura has ever met. You thought of everything carefully and thought of everyone deeply. You were not the naïve girl who acted impulsively and just hoped for the best.

“Just try and forget me, smart girl. I’ll come for you when you least expect it,” Toura heard her brother say.

Toura always felt the need to guard her brother from the world, especially after all the brutality that she has experienced. No matter how hard she tried, this was something she could never accomplish.

When it was time for Tooru to enter his gate, Tooru looked back, just once, just at you. You returned his gaze and offered an exaggerated smile. Tooru laughed.

This was the last image of himself that he left in the minds of those he loved before he left. You made that happen. Toura wished that you were there to make him laugh all the time, even when it was difficult for him.

So before the world shifted again, while you were still within Toura’s reach, she made a silent plea, an older sister’s prayer for her little brother—

“Oikawa Tooru was not one to wear his heart on his sleeves. But he had given you his heart. Please, keep it safe.”

—this is somehow related to my other oikawa fic HERE

HAIKYUU MASTERLIST • AO3 LINK

[daydream-disposal]

Wormhole

Steve is laying on his bed wearing his pyjamas, his eyes droopy and his mind hazy with tiredness but still, he insists on texting his friends. A normal tuesday, it appears.

Until suddenly, a big blue ring light starts to shine out of nowhere in the middle of his room. Steve sits on the bed, eyes wide. Suddenly a person gets out from inside the light. A boy about his height, his big honey eyes hiding behind his dark hair that was covering almost all of his freckled face. He was wearing black pants, a white button up and a coat. He looked drenched but still, he looked very handsome.

Is Steve too sleep deprived? Is he dreaming? Is he imagining this? He doesn't know.

"Oh thank god, it's you" the boy holds Steve's shoulders and kisses his cheek quickly, dropping a little device on the bed beside him.

"Um. Hello? W-who are you?" Steve freezes, trying to understand what just happened. He's not imagining it then, since the kiss felt very real. He would've blushed if the situation wasn't really scary.

"What? It's me. I guess I might look a little different, I've been traveling around for a while. Ugh my clothes are gross. I'm just gonna change real quick, okay?" the guy rambles walking to Steve's closet and opening the door. He searches for something, getting all his clothes out of the way. Steve frowns. What the fuck is this dude doing?

"Did you move my stuff again?"

"I literally don't know what you're talking about." Steve slowly gets up and walks towards the door.

"C'mon Steve, stop messing around, they were right here" he half laughs and keeps searching. A shiver goes down Steve's spine. He knows his name. Is he a spy? An alien? Is he here to harm him? Steve grabs his bat carefully and places it on his neck.

"I'd appreciate if you stopped messing with my stuff and left. I don't know who you are and why you're here! Just leave me alone!" he says with a rough voice.

Eli turns to face Steve, ready to laugh and ask 'what is this, a prank?' but his smile drops as soon as he sees Steve with the bat and a serious expression.

"Steve, calm down! It's me, your best friend, Eli Pepperjack. Do you seriously not recognize me?"

"Wrong! My best friend is Jim Lake and everybody knows that. I've never seen you before in my life!"

Steve and Jim being best friends??? Something is definitely Not Right. Eli looks around in disbelief. Now that he notices, Steve looks... younger. The room looks different too. It's the same style, but the colors are all wrong. He peeks outside the window and the street is slightly different too. Oh my god.

Did he just travelled to a parallel universe? One that Steve doesn't know him? He knew the wormhole could do that, but only on command! How did it malfunctioned so badly??

Steve adjusts his hands on the bat, getting Eli out of his thoughts.

"Wait! Wait! I can explain! I can prove that I know you!"

Steve considers, still not moving from the position he's in. The boy seems scared but somehow his eyes are shining, inviting. Steve sighs.

"Ok. Go on." he raises an eyebrow, curiously.

"Your favorite color is blue. You favorite food is pancakes. You can't have spicy food. You had a crush on Claire Nunes"

"Those are really basic and you could easily be lying. Or spying on me! And everybody had a crush on Claire!" Steve shouts, losing his patience.

"Okay, look." Eli reaches for his back pocket, taking out his wallet and handing Steve a picture of them hugging and smiling, doing the Creepslayerz hand gesture to the camera.

"You like nerdy movies like Gun Robot and Earth Invaders in secret because you don't want people to know. You don't know basic math but that's alright because you're a really great actor and you're very good at sports. Sometimes you let your insecurities get to you and that's why you act like you're superior to everyone else. But you're actually a really nice person. You care a lot about people, so much that you saved my life a thousand times before. You're funny and brave and I love you for that" Eli blurted out without even thinking.

"Wow, okay, that's scary. How is all of this possible?" He puts the bat down and stares at the picture, not believing what he's seeing.

"It's possible because I was traveling through that thing" Eli points to the wormhole device on the bed. Steve reaches it and throws it his way.

"Thanks. It's a wormhole, it's extraterrestrial technology. I've been living in another planet but I try to visit as much as I can. It malfunctioned this time. I'm guessing I ended up in a parallel universe" Eli says matter of factly, clicking the device on his hand. A blue hologram appears in front of them. Steve doesn't recognize the language on it.

"Hold up, are you telling me I'm dating an alien?"

"I literally just told you I'm from another universe and you decided to focus on that?"

"Well yeah" he shrugged.

Eli sighed, smiling.

"No, I'm human. I'm Earth's ambassador on the planet Arkiridion-5."

"Ok but are we dating...?" Steve blushes at him.

"Yes. We are."

"Oh sweet! Point for the Palchuk!" He punched the air. Eli laughs through his nose, shaking his head but still focused on the device.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"Yeah, go on"

"How did it happen... How did we even... do it?" Steven didn't know how to ask this, but as if he was reading his mind, the brown haired boy answered quickly.

"Well, when we started getting close people just assumed. But our families are okay with it, if that's what you're asking"

"Cool. Alright." Steve knew he was bi for a long time now. He was just afraid of telling his family and friends. What if they got disappointed? What if they couldn't love him? What if he was left behind?

"How will I know if they're like this here too?" Steve asked in a quiet voice after a few seconds of silence and just the bleeping of the device.

"I'm pretty sure they love you in every universe. I know I do." Eli sinceraly stated, not even looking up. Steve had a hard time believing someone cared about him and loved him enough to say something so soft like that. He looked at the picture on his hands again. They were sharing a smile so genuine, their eyes meeting in such a sweet way, like they meant the whole world to each other.

"And how did we meet?" he leaned on the closet, crossing his arms. Eli just kept clicking away.

"At school. We didn't like each other at first, but we figured it out" he exhaled. "Took a while, but we did."

"Why? What happened?"

Eli thought about the years his Steve used to be mean at him and shove him into lockers. It was sad, but he knew there was good in him. Maybe this Steve could do it differently.

"Just... be nice."

"I am nice!" Eli stopped what he was doing, raising an eyebrow on Steve's direction. "Alright, I'll be nicer."

"Good. What year is it?"

"2018"

"Woah, okay, I'm so far off." he clicked a few more times, the big blue ring light popping up in the middle of the room again.

"Wait, you're leaving already?"

"Yeah. My Steve is waiting for me at home."

"But I still have so many questions!"

"Don't worry, it's gonna be alright. Nice to meet you. I hope I see you soon." And with that, he disappeared with the light, leaving Steve alone in his room. He looks down to his hands, still holding the picture strongly. He smiles.

"I hope so too."

Steve didn't remember his name. He tried to think back but at the time he was panicking at the thought of "CUTE BOY IN MY ROOM!" and focusing too hard on the fact that said boy was from another universe. So of course his ADHD brain would forget his name.

But this didn't keep Steve from looking. He was never this excited to go to school before. He started paying more attention to his surroundings, hoping he would spot the mysterious boy somewhere.

Instead, he spotted a fight. "Just be nice" he thought. The older boys being mean to the smaller ones does seem like a good moment to be nice. Also, it was just not fair.

"Hey, why don't you pick someone your size?" Steve approached the bully, tapping him on the shoulder with his eyebrows pinched.

"Ugh. Why do you always have to ruin the party, Palchuk? You had potential but you insist on being on the wrong side" he tries to push Steve, asking for a fight. Steve scoffs and holds the boy's wrist.

"Just let them go. You know you can't win against me." The bully grunts and shakes his wrist from Steve's hold. He nods to his friends and they leave, muttering amongst themselves.

Steve turns to help the other boys out of the ground, offering a hand. The first boy refuses, getting up fast and running away. And that's when finally, Steve sees him. He looks smaller than the boy in his room, his hair is shorter and he was wearing nerdy glasses. But it was definitely him. He would recognize that smile and those eyes anywhere.

"Thanks. Steve, right?" the boy said, holding his hand and getting up. Steve was at a loss of words. He nodded, smiling.

"That was very nice of you. I'm Eli, by the way." he shook his hand. He was real and he was right here, holding hands with him. Ok, this is happening!

"Nice to meet you. That was no problem really, if you ever have any trouble with them again just tell me" Steve blunted out nervously, scratching his neck. Eli smiled, picking up his books and leaving.

"Again, Steve?" the teacher asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm starting to think you're not even trying. Go to detention!"

Steve sighs, walking with his head down in shame. But this time, when he enters the classroom he sees someone that make his eyes light up.

"Eli! Hi!" Steve sits on the table behind him, excited.

"Oh, hey Steve"

"What are you in here for?" he asks confused.

"I was breaking in. And you?" Eli says as if it's a normal occurrence.

"Woah what???"

"I was trying to study at the lab during recess."

"I didn't know that wasn't allowed"

"Well... I kinda was using their equipment to try and communicate with aliens... Which isn't allowed..." Eli says a little embarrassed.

"Oh" Steve laughs, finding the story very endearing. "So you like space, huh?"

"I do. Imagine if I got to do it. It would've been so cool!" he exclaims, and Steve has to hold back the urge to tell him about the parallel universe.

"It really would. Don't lose hope though" he winks at his direction.

Eli smiles and keeps working on his assignment.

"Y'know, I didn't expect you to be here. You're very... um... nerdy?" Steve admits after some minutes of silence.

"Oh so we're doing stereotypes? Alright, jock. Why are you here? Got into a fight?"

"What? No. I'm a nice person! I just didn't do my homework. Again."

"Because you didn't want to or...?" Eli asked confused, tilting his head. Steve had a genius idea. He felt like those cartoons when a little lamp lights up.

"I'm having a lot of trouble, actually. Are you any good with math?"

"Of course. Why?"

"What do you say you help me with homework and I help you by staying on look out when you're in the lab?"

Eli considered, as he heard the bell ring. He gathers his books and hands Steve a piece of paper before leaving.

"Sure. Text me later so we can talk about it"

"Sounds good" Steve smiled. If this went anything like he wanted to, he better start cleaning some space in his closet.

[soulmate-game]

Finally another oneshot, after forever and a day. I’m weak for soulmate AUs. I think most of you know that already.

SO WHY NOT ANOTHER?! WOO!

This one is based on a prompt given to me a hella long time ago, idk who sent it to me. Tell me who you are so I can credit you! I wrote down the prompt for me to remember, it’s something like; “You can write letters to your soulmate, and they travel through time either to a moment your soulmate needs the letter most or to a random point in time to them.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Dear Myself.

I’m doing this for school. We have to write letters to our future self. I am nine years old right now, the year is 2009. I hope you found a cool job! I don’t know what to do yet. I like drawing though! Science is icky, so I hope you’re not a scientist. But if you are, and if it makes us happy, then I guess it’s okay. Be the best scientist you can! If you are all moved out, did you ever get a pet hamster? Hamsters are so cute!

Oh, but most important. Yesterday, I was bullied by my Arch Enemy. You know who. Yeah. Anyway, she said some mean things and it just reminded me that sometimes life hurts, and people can hurt you real bad. But life is still pretty. A family of robins made a nest on my terrace outside my room, and I saw them after I was done crying. They are so cute, and made me happy again. So, always look for your family of robins to keep you happy, I guess. Life isn’t bad, even if some things and people are. I hope you remember that. Keep believing in yourself, and in others!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (from the past).

Do not open this letter before 2020! Pretty please!

Shaking hands held the letter. It was written two years ago, but he only could have gotten it now. It just appeared on his desk out of nowhere. At first, he thought it was some sick joke. He had just moved to Gotham again, and none of his—

None of them knew he was back. But he recognized this handwriting. He had gotten exactly one letter from them before, written by an older version of this woman and received by him when he was ten. Not long after being taken in by Bruce Wayne. The letter back then had been short, precise. Comforting.

Hello there.

I am writing this in the year 2018. You see, I found out quite a while ago that my soulmate bond is unique. It sends letters to you that I write, from all across time. I can get your letters, too, so don’t hesitate to write to me if you need to vent. My letters might not always reach you in time to feel like a normal response, but I’ll keep writing if you do. I know your life isn’t easy, if the letters I’ve already gotten mean anything. But keep fighting. I know what it’s like to be the underdog. But I’m rooting for you.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, New Adult.

Jason’s hands crumpled the two pieces of paper in them, the older of the two already close to crumbling away. They had buried him with it, resurrected him with it. It had seen hell and back just like him, but he still kept it. Even with blurring ink and ripped edges and blood stains. The writing and names matched, even if his newer letter was written in the clumsy scrawl of a child. The nuances in the handwriting were still the same.

She would still be writing to him. This new letter he got was clearly the first, before she knew about her soulmate or how her letters would disappear after she wrote them just like his did. But 2009? It just sank into him, that she was younger than he was. By seven years.

But her words still kept him afloat better than any lecture from that asshole Bruce.

He couldn’t see her yet. Not any time soon, really. He was already eighteen, dead and resurrected, and she was barely eleven. He could wait.

She didn’t need somebody as screwed and dark as him right now, anyway. A murderer, a budding crime boss. If she needed someone killed for her, or someone to save her, he’d be there. Otherwise?

Jason took out the receipt from his last visit to a gas station for cigarettes, grabbed a sharpie from his desk, and began to write.

Yo, Mari.

I’m writing this in 2011. I got your first letter. Thanks. It reminded me of some good times. I’m sorry I didn’t write anything for five years. Stuff happened. I won’t write often. Not until I’m in a better place. But if you need it, you can vent to me too. Also, don’t look at the back of this receipt. This was the only paper I could find.

Jason T., Your Soulmate.

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette, nine years old, stared down at the receipt that had taken the place of her letter to herself. She recognized that it was written in English, but she couldn’t read it yet. But that was okay, her Papan and Maman could read English!

She ran down, holding it in her hands tightly. She didn’t want the mystery letter to disappear! She handed it to her parents, who were in the middle of making croissants and stared at her for a moment. And then they broke into a flurry of movement.

“Why do you have a receipt for cigarettes, Marinette?!” Sabine yelled, confused more than angry. How would her daughter get a receipt written in English? And after giving her parents a confused head tilt, Marinette explained.

“It just appeared, like, poof!” She moved her hands to illustrate her point. “I was writing my letter to my future self for school, which is gone now oh no! Mlle. is going to be so mad!”

“Mari, focus,” Tom prodded gently, laying a hand on her shoulder. “You were writing your letter, and then what?”

Marinette took a deep breath. “Well, I finished it and put it in a little envelope. But as soon as I put it down and was all done, it shimmered red and faded away! This showed up in the same place my letter had been, like they were traded!”

Tom and Sabine shared a glance, and her mom held out her hand. “Can I read it, Marinette? I promise I won’t take it away. Your father and I just want to see what it says. We’ll read it to you.”

Marinette nodded eagerly, and after making sure their dough was put away the family of bakers moved to their living room and the little girl sat on her father’s lap as her mother held the note for them to see and read it aloud.

The parents shared another glance.

“Wow!” Marinette exclaimed happily, bouncing in place. “He sounds so cool! He is my soulmate? Really? I wonder what he looks like!” Her eyes took on a dreamy quality as she began to daydream. “I bet he’s super handsome! And nice and strong and—“

“Mari,” Tom said gently, tugging one pigtail playfully to get his daughter’s attention. She turned her large blue eyes to him, rapt with attentiveness. “I know this is exciting, but you know that not all soulmates are romantic, right?”

Marinette instantly calmed down, eyebrows pinching together. “But— but Nino said that soulmates are people you will marry in the future. Your perfect person. Like you and Maman,” she argued, incredibly confused. Her Maman chuckled, handing Marinette her receipt-letter back.

“Yes, but sometimes a person doesn’t need romance the most. Sometimes, what a person needs most is a friend or another family member. So sometimes, a soulmate is a big sister or brother instead, or another Maman or Papan. And we think that your soulmate might be the big brother kind,” she explained patiently. Marinette’s confusion instantly changed to excitement again, eyes sparkling with starry amazement.

“Really? How can you tell?”

“Well,” Tom took over, tapping the receipt with one finger. This receipt is from America. Over there, you have to be eighteen to buy cigarettes. Which means that, two years from now, your soulmate is already eighteen.”

“Or he better be, anyway,” Sabine growled, eyes narrowed dangerously.

“But even if he isn’t,” Tom nervously glanced over at his wife and back to his daughter. “The way he writes is too grown up for someone close to your age. He is probably several years older than you—“

“At least seven, if he knows what’s good for him,” Sabine interrupted again. Tom just chuckled and shook his head.

“But still. Are you okay with him not being a romantic soulmate, Nettie?”

Marinette jumped off of her dad’s lap, hugging her note to her chest with one of the biggest smiles either of her parents had ever seen on her face.

“Are you kidding? I’ve always wanted a big brother! I bet he’s so cool, and rides a motorcycle and beats up bad guys! And when we meet, we’ll go out for ice cream and he’ll ruffle my hair, and let me ride on his shoulders, and it’ll be so awesome!”

Sabine finally lost her threatening aura, laughing along with her daughter. “Well, I don’t know about the whole beating up bad guys thing. But it sounds like he might need some cheering up, so you should write him letters pretty often. You never know when he might need one the most.”

Marinette nodded seriously, eyes shining with determination now. “That’s right! I have to be the best soulmate-sister ever! I’ll start writing him another letter right now!” She instantly turned to run back up to her room, but her dad’s voice followed her:

“Marinette! You haven’t eaten dinner yet!”

—*—*—*—*—*

The next day, Jason came back to his base to see another letter. It was on special scrapbook paper, a pretty white with a heart-and-stars border. He found himself snorting despite himself, shaking his head and picking up the girly letter.

Hello, Jason!

I just got your letter! It’s still 2009, and my parents were worried about the cigarats. I wanted to learn English first, but Maman and Papan reminded me that you have to be able to read French if you were able to read my past letters (I wonder what I wrote you! My future self must be real smart). Maman says you better be 18, or else she’ll kick your butt. She didn’t say that exactly, but I could tell.

Jason snickered at that. She must have a pretty fun family.

Maman and Papan also said that you’re probably a Big Brother soulmate. That’s super cool! I’ve always wanted an older brother, but it’s just me. I get lonely sometimes. And Maman thinks I have a big imagination, so help me prove her wrong! I bet her that you’re suuuuuuper cool, and have a motorcycle and beat up criminals! She doesn’t think my soulmate would be a hero, but I think you are. I don’t even know you yet, but I just feel it. And even if you don’t beat up bad guys, that’s fine. You’ll still protect me like a big brother should, right? And we’ll go and eat ice cream and talk about the stuff we like when we finally meet. And I’ll protect you too. I know little sisters aren’t supposed to, but I will totally protect you anyway. If you’re sad, I’ll make you macaroons and read you a bedtime story. That always makes me happy.

Please write back soon!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (from the past still!)

Jason couldn’t help it, and maybe the Lazarus magic had a bit of sway on him still, but he laughed raucously. A deep, belly-shaking bellow. His soulmate sure was a character! And scarily intuitive. How did she guess such accurate things about him? It was hilarious.

But he wouldn’t write back today. Not yet. He held no illusions; he wasn’t brother material. Not now, and probably not for a while if ever. Which reminded him, he had a replacement to kill.

—*—*—*—*—*

The Replacement lived, but at least Batman had gotten the message. Meanwhile, letters from Little Mari, as he had started calling her in his head, had started piling up. He read every single one, but didn’t respond to any. It was all the usual stuff. Talking about her day, asking stuff about him, spouting advice that seemed way too insightful for a nine-year-old.

He kept every single one. Soon, 2009 letters turned into 2010 letters. She switched from writing almost every day to once a week.

By then, Jason had reconciled with Bruce for the most part. After a few attempts on his life, but that wasn’t important. It was then, as he sat down in the living room watching Tim, Dick, Bruce, and the newest hellion Damian, all talking with and teasing one another that he finally got the urge to write again. So he asked for paper, and Alfred brought him a notepad and a plain ballpoint pen. And, for the first time in over a year, he started writing.

Dick and Bruce noticed first, stopping their banter to stare. Dick smiled softly, his shoulders relaxing as he let himself slump over the sofa’s arm a bit. Tim furrowed his eyebrows, and Damian frowned.

“What are you doing, Todd?” The young hellion asked, but Jason barely heard him.

“Nonya business, squirt,” he replied absently. Bruce chuckled fondly, beckoning to his two youngest sons. They both came a bit closer, and Bruce smiled at them conspiratorially. He leaned forward and whispered:

“Jason’s soulbond allows any letters that he writes to travel through time to his Bonded, and vice versa. Back before… everything, he used to write a letter to her almost every day.”

“It’s really sweet. We lined up the dates, and we think that she’s around your age Damian,” Dick added in equally softly. “Probably a familial bond. It’s good that he’s writing to her again.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette was twelve the next time she got a letter from Jason. But, unlike the last one, this one came from the past. And it was written in French.

Hi, Marinette!

I guess I’m your soulmate. I got your letter from 2018. It’s 2005 when I’m writing this. I’m twelve years old right now, but that shouldn’t matter. It was a little surprising when I got a letter written in French out of nowhere! Luckily, I speak a lot of languages. I love learning languages, and reading is probably my favorite thing to do. Don’t tell anyone though! I have my bad-boy image to keep up. I think our soulbond is really cool actually, and maybe we can teach each other stuff if we do this right. I know the whole time-traveling-letters thing makes it hard to reply to each other like normal. From now on, I’ll write you these letters in English and translate them in French on the back. That way, you can read it whenever you want and also learn English if you don’t already know it when you get this letter.

Oh, and I think I’m older than you? In real time, I mean. If you’re a “new adult” in 2018, then you’re probably a few years younger than me. I was born in 1993. You can do the math, since I don’t know when you were born. Anyway! I’ll keep writing you as often as I can and hope that you get these letters when you need them most.

Jason T., Excited Tween.

Marinette laughed, running down to show her mom. She was only writing Jason once a month now, but in the midst of this first letter she had received in three years, her determination was relit. It was just the letters being dumb when they flew through time! No way he was done writing to her. Right?

“Maman! Maman, he really was eighteen when he wrote that first letter! You don’t have to kill him!”

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette stared at the pile of letters on her desk, sighing. She ran a hand through her hair. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to read them yet, but she knew they were each dated from 2005. Apparently they had both decided to write daily when they had first discovered their Bond.

“Marinette,” the familiar voice of Tikki spoke you, the little Kwami floating over to land on her holder’s shoulder. “You should read them. Your bond wouldn’t give you letters you don’t need.”

Marinette took a deep breath, rubbing her already sore and red eyes. “I know. But what if—“

Tikki grabbed the letter at the bottom of the pile, flying over and handing it to the pigtailed girl. She smiled gently. “Read it. No what-ifs. Just read for now, Marinette.”

The newest Ladybug sighed, but acquiesced. She sat down at her desk, and began to read. Only two months as Ladybug, and already the pressure was becoming too much.

Two hours later, she had caught up and her mood was considerably better. Jason’s life was definitely no cake walk, but his humor bled through the more concerning details and helped bring light to Marinette’s day. Slowly, one by one, she folded the letters and put them in her special locked box inside her “diary”. She tried to keep a real diary once, but quickly stopped when she realized that even “dear diary” counted as a letter and sent itself to Jason.

She pulled out one of her special pieces of stationary paper and her favorite pink gel pen. For a while she stared at the paper, out of practice after a few months of not writing to him, but eventually she was able to begin again.

Hey Jason.

It’s 2013. I’m 13. I’m pretty sure you got the point by now, it’s not hard to figure out what year I was born. I haven’t responded to any of your letters in a while, but I guess that doesn’t matter. It’s not like I know if you’re gonna get this right away anyway.

So. Uh. Things have changed. I’m only thirteen, but I feel so old you know? On the bright side, your letters really did help me learn English. I mean, you probably guessed that since I’m writing this whole thing in English.

I guess I should explain. A little. A lot has happened. I suddenly have so many responsibilities, and it’s really hard to keep up with it all. So much has changed in just a few months, I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m keeping secrets from Maman and Papan now, which hurts the most. I can’t tell them, I can’t even tell you, but I’m not used to this. I don’t like lying. I don’t even know why any of this happened in the first place, I want answers and I’m getting radio silence. It sucks. But your letters from 2005 really helped, so thanks. I just got them this past year, which is really weird because I remember that our letters time travel and I feel crazy again. But this is real. Our Bond is real, and maybe writing you will help me remember that. Help me focus a bit.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now. I’ll try to write you again sometime this week if I have time. We’ll see.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Unsure Teenager.

—*—*—*—*—*

As soon as Jason finished his letter, pretending he couldn’t feel Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian all spying on him from their own spots around the living room, the papers he wrote on shimmered red and vanished. In their place, a piece of tea-colored scrapbook paper with a decorative robin-and-egg border (he would never know how she could be so obliviously on point with the designs she chose), popped into existence. He blinked, snatching it up and looking it over. His eyes widened.

“It’s only from next year,” he said aloud, for the benefit of the nosy assholes sharing the room with him. “That’s the closest any of our letters have been to one another,” and then Jason’s eyes promptly went serious as she actually read what the paper said.

“Jay?” Dick asked after the man had been silent too long. Jason grunted, his eyes briefly shimmering green before he shook it away. He took a few deep breaths, and finally responded by standing up and handing the paper over to them.

“Something happens next year that fucks with her. All of the letters I’ve gotten from her, besides that first one back when I was still Robin, were from before this. 2009 to 2010. I even got a few from last year, not that long ago. She’s always upbeat and happy and never said anything about any concerning things besides some schoolyard bullying. This isn’t at all like her. The tone is off.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ve actually met her yet Jason,” Tim tried to console him, rereading the paper to make sure he didn’t miss anything. “This could be something mundane. A new school, or an issue with friends or something.”

Jason grit his teeth. “It isn’t. I don’t know how I know, but my gut is telling me it’s more than that. B, I want us to keep an eye on Paris. Something big happens next year, I know it.”

Bruce sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Funnily enough, I agree with you. Alfred, can you get up a monitoring system? we’ll keep it automatic until next year actually hits, and then I want someone personally checking up on Paris news at least once a month. Just in case.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was a year into HawkMoth. Marinette hadn’t written a single letter to Jason, but she kept getting the ones he wrote in 2005. When those ran out, she only had two from 2006 before they suddenly leapt to 2012. She guessed that that was because of the five year gap he had mentioned in his first letter, the infamous cigarette receipt.

She sat in her chair, reading the only two 2012 letters so far, the second of which had conveniently landed on her desk that morning. The first had arrived months ago, but she gave it a reread anyway.

yo, Mari.

I’m sorry I haven't written anything else after that horrible receipt, I was getting my life sorted out. things are better now. I have three annoying brothers, by the way. I told you about Dick, I think, in my early letters. Now I have two younger brothers too, Tim and Damian. Damian is a little shit, but oddly enough I think you’d like him. Oh yeah, I’m writing this in 2012 by the way. And yes, this small notepad paper was all I had. Don’t judge me. I guess I’ll answer some questions, to make up for my lack of letters lately. More up to date than what I told you back when I was a naive little kid anyway.

Yes, I have a motorcycle. It is my baby, and I have no idea how nine-year-old you was able to guess stuff about me so accurately. I am most definitely a bad boy, and I have five different leather jackets that I love to death. I’m trying to quit smoking. It’s bad for your lungs kid, don’t follow my example there. Also, I am so fucking proud of your taste in music. I know I had no sway in it, but the fact that Jagged Stone is your favorite musician instills so much older brother pride in me you don’t even know. My dad (You remember how I said I’m adopted, right? yeah that asshole. Don’t tell him I actually love him, but he’s still an asshole), he grew up with Jagged actually. He still refers to him as Jared, it’s surreal. I will definitely let you ride on my shoulders, even if you’re an adult when we meet. I give no shits. And ice cream is mandatory. Officially. I’m making it mandatory right now.

I hope you’re doing okay when this gets to you, Mari. And keep designing, the sketches you sent me were awesome! That’s some real talent. Don’t let it go to waste if it’s something you love.

Alright, the Doofuses are still staring at me so I better go before one of them snoops and sees the sappy stuff I wrote about them. You are sworn to secrecy about it too, Cupcake. No blabbing.

Jason Todd, Finally Kinda Okay.

Marinette chuckled at that, then put it aside to read the new one from that morning. It was shorter.

Marinette!

I just read your letter from 2013, holy shit let this reach you not long after that. You remember that 2012 letter where I was sappy about my family and shit? I hope you got that one first or else this is gonna be confusing. Anyway, this was written that same day. Are You Okay? If shit gets too bad, for whatever reason, you can always contact me. I know this damn letter thing won’t let me give you a specific way to contact me, not for lack of trying damn it, but I’ll say this: Bruce Wayne isn’t hard to get a hold of. Find a way to contact him if you need my help, and I will be close behind. He knows how to contact me. No matter what, Cupcake. I don’t care if you think you’re being stupid or dramatic or whatever lies run through your head. Contact him if you need it, and I will come to help you. I promise. Being thirteen sucks, trust me I know, so let me help you.

Jason Todd, Worried As Hell.

Marinette huffed, shaking her head. She wanted to take him up on that offer, but she couldn’t. She had just met the Guardian not too long ago, and he had made it clear that she couldn’t tell anybody about being Ladybug. Not even Jason. She needed to deal with this alone.

Scenes of bloated bodies filled her mind, all the people who had died just the previous day because of Siren. She had had to swim through so many corpses. So many dead, of all ages.

She rushed out onto her balcony, taking in deep breaths of fresh air and letting the sun’s rays warm her up and slowly bring her out of the haze of burning memory. She was fourteen already. She could handle this. Her childhood had died the moment she had been given the Earrings, ripped away from her too early. Her old self had died. Now she was Ladybug, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and she was responsible for the fate of even more than just Paris. She couldn’t let herself fall. Not now, not ever.

The loud roaring of a motorcycle made her jump, and she ran to her railing just in time to see a gorgeous black and red bike come to a tire-screeching halt on the street right under her. The biker, she could tell he was large and covered head to toe in corded muscle even from her spot high above his head, slowly took off his helmet. Black hair with stark white bangs came into view, and startlingly deep blue eyes met hers. Marinette’s breath hitched; it was him. She could tell, his mere eye contact made her feel safe and warm and like… like home had found her. He gave her a roguish grin.

“Come on, Cupcake! I believe I promised you a shoulder ride and ice cream. And you gotta keep me from beating a certain old man into a bloody pulp!”

He knew. Marinette smiled widely, a laugh tearing itself from her throat. Hysteric, overjoyed, free. He knew, and it was okay. She didn’t even have to tell him. She took a few steps back, and then vaulted straight over her railing.

“Catch!”

Jason threw his helmet to the side, running forward just in time for her to land safely in his arms. He glared down at her, but his eyes held no heat. “That was incredibly reckless. I shouldn't be proud, but I am. Don’t do that ever again.”

Marinette giggled. “No promises.”

Jason set her down, picking up his helmet before opening the storage on his bike and tossing her a smaller, pink one. “Sorry it took so long. I wanted to come last year, as soon as I figured out what had made you send that concerning letter, but I was told that I would be an instant Akuma. But after what happened yesterday…” Jason shook his head solemnly. “I knew you’d need a break. Come on, Gotham actually has some amazing ice cream.”

“How are we gonna get to Gotham right away? how did you..?”

Marinette paused, Jason keeping his motorcycle’s storage open just long enough for her to see his Red Hood helmet.

“We got portals for that,” he responded nonchalantly, nobody was nearby to overhear anyway. Marinette looked up when he closed the storage compartment, putting her helmet on.

“Well. Then I’m glad you actually took my rant on the Gotham vigilantes to heart and used my designs, because your old mask was disgustingly ugly.”

Jason rolled his eyes, and waited until she was behind him on the bike before revving it and replying;

“Trust me, I know your feelings on it. Demon Spawn and Replacement teamed up to steal that letter and made copies. Now one is pinned to the fridge and I spent another several hours cleaning up the ones they posted over every inch of my apartment walls.”

“... I approve.”

[heavylovebot]

hiii i was wondering can request a fic with a older brother dee with a younger sibling y/n who's being bullied for being transmasc? thank you and have a nice day ^^

ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ

❝ＳＵＭＭＡＲＹ❞ Dee doesn't know how to comfort people and that's why he never said anything about your bullying before as he'd have to comfort you and he never found the right time to tell you he knew, until now.

❝ＧＥＮＲＥ❞ Angst with Fluff Ending/Platonic

❝ＡＵ❞ None

❝ＰＡＩＲＩＮＧＳ❞ Dee Shavagenbagen x Little Brother! Trans! Male Reader

❝ＣＷ❞ Physical Bullying and Transphobia

You laid in your bed with dried tears on your face as you stared blankly at your wall as the sun shined through the crack of the window that your curtains weren't covering, you've been awake the entire night as you couldn't sleep due to the pain you felt every time you moved because of the bruises and wounds on your body that you had patched up earlier in the day, you were just lying in the dark and the room was completely silent.

The day before was not one of your best days but then again, you never have good days but the day before, you could barely walk after the beating you got and of course your family noticed but you just brushed them off by saying you fell down the stairs or you injured your leg in the gym. Heavy and Victoria believed it but were still very skeptical and glam and dee knew but you didn't know that they knew so they didn't say anything, yet.

Though you didn't want to think about it right now and just wanted to enjoy the silence of your room but your silence was soon interrupted when your door opened revealing dee who had just woken up so his hair wasn't even in a ponytail yet "You awake?" Dee asked as he walked in and closed the door behind him, you hummed in response as your jaw hurt too much to talk "Dad asked if you wanted to stay home because of your injuries." Dee said as he sat at the edge of your bed and you hummed in response before you nodded.

Dee felt that this was the perfect time to tell you that he knew as every time he wanted to, he felt that it wasn't the right time "I know the real reason why you have these injuries..." Dee said as he let out a deep sigh and your eyes widened at his words before you turned over and sat up to look at him "P-Please don't tell anyone." You said stuttering a bit as it pained you to talk, you didn't want anyone else to know because you just didn't want to go through all of that when you could just wait until your bullies got tired of you and stopped bothering you.

It was a stupid idea but it was the best idea you had "Dad already knows but I don't think heavy nor mom knows..." Dee said as he shrugged his shoulders "But I won't tell them if you don't want me to." Dee said in a sympathetic tone unlike his normal monotone tone "Since mom and dad have to go to work, then I'd probably have to stay home to help you because you can barely move." Dee said as you didn't say anything in response to his last statement and just nodded "You can go to school, I'll be fine..." You said as you rubbed your eyes tiredly but it just caused you more pain as you had a black eye "I don't think you'll be fine, you can barely speak and I'm sure that I and my grades will be fine after missing one day." Dee said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Dee didn't mind taking care of his siblings when they were sick or injured because missing one day of school wouldn't really affect him as he was already ahead of his class "Fine..." You said as you laid back down, you kinda just brushed the fact that he knew off because there wasn't much you could do.

Dee wanted to say something else but he didn't know what else to say, he wasn't very good at comforting people and he didn't know what else to say or what else to do "I'll go get ready..." Dee said before he stood up and walked out of the room leaving you in complete silence like before and you sighed.

You had no idea what to do and you had no idea what was going to happen but you were happy that you didn't have to go to school and it wasn't because you fucking hated your classes for once but it was because of the people in the school that were responsible for your injuries, they were dickheads who had nothing better to do than to make fun of someone who did nothing but figure out that they were trans and transitioned.

You never understood why they were so upset about you being a trans male, you were just like you were before you transitioned except you had short hair as you never acted 'feminine' before you transitioned and you were using the male restroom now as you identified as a boy and it wasn't their business what bathroom you went to anyway.

But they were soooo upset that they decided to bully you especially when you went to the bathroom, they'd just push you out of the bathroom or tell you to use a urinal when you obviously couldn't, and sometimes when they would catch you walking into the boy's bathroom, they'd push you in the girls' bathroom and you'd just decide not to go to the bathroom.

In all honesty, the girls were the ones that didn't actually care and accepted you even if they didn't know you but that was only some of them, whenever the boys would throw you in the bathroom, they'd just tell you it was fine because you would sputter out many apologies before you left the bathroom.

You honestly started to regret coming out and transitioning because it didn't even make you feel comfortable in your body like everyone said it would, it made you feel horrible.

꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱

"Open your mouth! The medicine is gonna help the pain." Dee said as he tried to put the spoon in your mouth but you just kept pushing him away "No! It's disgusting!" You said as your jaw felt a bit better after resting "But it'll make you feel better!" Dee yelled as he scoffed "Fine! I'll take it." You said but dee wasn't completely convinced that you were giving up that easily "But?" Dee asked as he raised an eyebrow "But, you have to give me a hug because you never give me hugs." You said as you really wanted a hug from dee, dee didn't give hugs often but when he did, they were so fucking comfy and soft but it wasn't just you wanted a hug from dee, you needed a hug from anyone because it would've made you feel so much better than you did.

"Mhm, why not?" Dee muttered as he shrugged his shoulders before you opened your mouth as wide as you could and dee put the spoon that had the medicine on it, in your mouth and you swallowed it before you stuck your tongue out because of the horrible taste "Okay, I took the nasty medicine now give me a hug." You said as you opened your arms with a smile on your face and dee rolled his eyes before he hugged you and you immediately felt warm and comfortable so you hugged him tighter and laid your head on his shoulder.

Dee then realized this was a time that he could say what he wanted to "(Y/n), you know you can tell me anything right?" The blonde said as he allowed you to rest your body against his as you relax your body in the hug, you hummed in response to him "I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me anything or that you can't trust me." Dee said and he didn't get a response but he soon heard soft sobbing and tears falling on his shoulder which made him panic but he didn't show his panic.

He thought he did something wrong and that he hurt your feelings, dee wanted to comfort you and wanted to reassure you that he and the rest of the family would be there for you whenever you needed them and even when you didn't need them and maybe he said something wrong and you took it the wrong way, what if you thought something completely different, what if-"Thank you dee." You said softly as you sniffed interrupting dee's thoughts "I-Uh, no problem." Dee replied trying not to sound awkward or reveal that he was mentally panicking.

You chuckled at his nervousness "I love you dee." You said as you smiled kindly though dee couldn't see it, he could feel it as your head was laying on his shoulder "I love you too baby brother." Dee said as he smiled.

All Rights Reserved ©@heavylovebot 2022.

Works are exclusive to this Tumblr. Reblogs are much appreciated.

[ally22042000]

Linked by fate

Introduction

Werewolf AU

Fluff, Angst

OT7 x Reader

Pack Alpha: Namjoon

Alpha: Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook

Beta: Seokjin, Yoongi, Taehyung

Omega: Y/N

Wordcount: 2K

A/N: Hobi’s got kind of long 😊. I hope you like this. I had this idea in my head for a while and would love to write more pieces about them and their journey. Pls tell me what you think about it and you can always leave requests if there are certain things you’d like to read. -Ally

It has always been the eight of you. Since your childhood you were inseparable. A bond was created whose strength and depth was unknown to most. A phase, everybody thought, that was going to fade away the older you would get. The longing for independence was supposed to fill your minds and draw you apart from each other. A prediction that since this day has not occurred.

Namjoon, the born alpha, who one day will take over his mother’s pack and be the leader everyone imagined him to be. He has shown his ability to take care of others, since a young age. Like that time in Taehyung’s first year of elementary school. He never told the others about the bullies at school who made is life a living hell simply because he had a different approach to most tasks. They declared him as weird and treated him like an outsider.

The leader picked up on his change in behaviour quickly, noticing that the six-year-old started speaking less and only answering questions that were specifically direct at him. A one-eighty to his usual happy and chattery personality. He picked the younger boy up from school the next day and walked in on a scene that made his blood run cold. Three boys were standing above Tae, the little wolf covering on the floor, his painting crushed under the tallest foot.

A growl left the alpha and before Namjoon knew what had happened, he had shifted for the first time. Four paws running across the school grounds scaring of the three kids, that knew they didn’t stand a chance against the son of the cities pack alpha. It was the first time Namjoon had to stand up for one of his members and seeing Taehyung on the floor in front of him, tears glistening on his round cheeks and admiration shining in his eyes as he petted the brown wolf in front of him, he knew, he would do anything to keep his pack safe.

Seokjin, as the medic of the group, was an important asset. Always patched up the maknae line when they were rough housing as you were all growing into your hierarchical roles and pheromones were going wild. Or that one time an older she-wolf had pushed you to the ground during Junior High, saying you were too young to play with them. Quickly you had gotten up and pulled on her hair, which resulted in her running her nails over your face and leaving scratches on your cheek and chin. Her teacher broke up the fight and you were both send home. 

After the scolding of your parents, Jin was called over and addressed your wounds. Nothing major had to be done and at the and you and the beta fell asleep watching a movie in your living room. Your faced buried in his neck, in haling the familiar mixture between wood and rice, which had always been able to calm you down.

Yoongi, who always napped in the corner during kindergarten and growled at anyone who annoyed him. But he was always more bark than bit. Unless the situation called for it of course. In elementary he shifted his nap place beneath the tree on the playgrounds. Enjoying the shade as a brise tousled his dark brown fur. Jungkook loved to sneak up on the elder and pull his ears, then quickly escape his nip and giggling while Yoongi chased him around the tree. Seokjin calling from the seesaw that he would not patch up any injuries. A smile bright on his face.

Hoseok, the glue of your group, as the son of your pack’s master of fight he was born with an amount of agility and skill like none of you. Nobody believed that the little sunshine boy could arise to the role assign but whenever the necessity arouse Hobi proved to everyone what a skilled fighter and wolf he was and that he was able to protect his pack.

You remember it clearly, that day Jimin and you went for a run. It had only been a few weeks since the both of you turned for the first time, so walking on for legs was still a hurdle to overcome. You weren’t allowed to leave the grounds of your pack; it was too dangerous considering that you still couldn’t protect yourself in this form. But you didn’t care, choosing to enjoy the freedom you had and testing your limits in this new form.

Unaware of the presence watching you, analysing your movements and swiftly deciding, that you both were an easy match. One second you were pulling on Jimin’s tail, messing with the older and the next a vicious growl came from behind you. Jimin immediately stood between you and the rouge, trying to shield his omega from harms way. One look at the other wolf showed that he was older, probably in his thirties or forties, and as strong as Jimin was or a seventeen-year-old, you both were aware of the fact, that he didn’t stand a chance against the intruder. You needed help. The second your howled, was the second the rouge decided to attack. He new he didn’t have much time and had to get rid of you fast. He crashed into Jimin’s body, their forms rolling around on the ground. The white fur of your pack member a stark contrast to your surroundings and the brown fur of the attacking wolf.

A yelp from Jimin is what caused you to spring into action. Blood was dripping down his left shoulder. You tried to let out a terrifying growl but even to your ears it sounded pathetic. It was enough to get the wanted attention though. The rough turned his attentiveness to you, baring his teeth which were covered in Jimin’s blood. You stood your ground, willing to do whatever it took to protect your pack member. His slow steps rapidly changed into a sprint and you reciprocated the action. But before you could meet, Hoseok jumped out of the bushes surrounding you, catching the wolf mid-air and forcing him to the ground.

It wasn’t much of a fight. Hoseok was clearly stronger and more skilled than the intruder. Quickly he brought the enemy on his back and snaped his neck with his teeth. Letting go of the body, he turned around and scanned the situation. It was clear that Jimin need immediate attention, so he ran over to the younger wolf. You stood frozen in place, staring at the dead animal, whose eyes were open and facing you. You hadn’t noticed when the others arrived and Seokjin tending to Jimin’s wound. Jumping slightly when Hobi pressed his head into your neck, startling you.

You stared into his eyes. Apart of both of you feared that you would be scared of him after having seen him murder someone. Taking a life so easily. But the look in his eyes showed nothing but love and protectiveness. A silent massage, that he always would protect you and the pack, whatever it may cost.

Jimin, beauty and elegance personified in one little being. Form a young age he was always well spoken and able to swoon anybody with his silver tongue and remarkable looks. Especially in Senior high, those looks brough a lot of insecurities with them and put a lot of pressure on Jimin mentally. He would skip out on meals and train whenever he could. Being a part of the dance team with Hoseok, his body was always on display for others to judge. A fact which brought a lot of fear and dark thoughts.

It was Yoongi who realised it first. The both of them were always bickered like an old married couple but cared for each other deeply. When he realised what Jimin was doing he immediately went to Jin and Namjoon. The four of them had a long talk which involved a lot of shouting and accusations. Until Jimin broke down crying. The walls he had built came trembling down and he admitted to the negative thoughts clouding his mind. That night you set up a nest for you and the alpha. Cuddling him all night long, while whispering uplifting words of affection into his hair.

Taehyung, the artist with a smile that could dazzle the sun. His talent for remembering paths and nature facts has helped your group out of a lot of scary situations and gets acknowledge often in your pack. Particularly, when the alphas and betas went out for a hunt, Taeyhung’s attended was often requested alongside Namjoon’s and Hoseok’s to insure the safe and swift return of everyone.

Furthermore, he loved to help out in the nearby day care. Playing with the kids and reading them stories took up a big part of his free time, especially during holidays. He often forced Jimin to go with him, so he could teach them a new choreography. It always ended with Jimin going home more exhausted than he is after dance practise.  

Jungkook, brute strength embodied in a boy with a heart of gold. Always ready to stir up trouble, especially with Tae or Jin, and loves to be babied my everyone. He never fails to be responsible and attentive for the ones he loves though. Like that time, you caught a cold during winter break and only the maknae line was home. The hyungs had to attend a pack meeting with Namjoon’s mother out of town.

Jungkook had cooked you soup everyday and made sure you took your medicine at the right moments. He called Jin multiple times during those four days to make sure he did everything right. Late at night he would crawl into bed with you and provide you with his body heat. His alpha on high alert to make sure his omega was comfortable and protected while she rested.

Y/N, the only omega of the group, but still a force to be reckoned with. As the only girl in the group, you know how to keep the young wolfs in check. Never letting them get out of line. Whacking them over the back of their heads whenever the situations called for it, which was often. Although you are able to stand up for yourself, your omega tendencies shine through whenever you are with the boys. Loving to be pampered and cared for by them. Physical affection playing a huge part in your relationship. A language all of you learn to read and communicate with.

Getting off form a stressful day at school, you would ride the bus past your stop and go over to one of their houses. Laying in Namjoons bed while he reads a book about pack laws and traditions or you would back hug Seokjin while he prepared something to eat for everyone. Calling the others over, so the eight of you could watch a movie or play a board game. You firmly planted on Hoseok’s lap, enjoying the way he played with your hair and getting fed popcorn by Taehyung.

In public you were the strong and independent omega your parents raised you to be, but with them you were able to relax and let them take control. Letting them indulge in their providing nature. Something you were very grateful for. Every day.

This were the eight little troublemakers whose love for each other is unheard of. A weird mixture of personalities. Where one goes the other seven follow. 32 pairs of paws, seven tails and one heartbeat.

[alicemitch09writes]

lame

07.

look, i know i’m an asshole but at least i’m trying

“Look at that, isn’t he amazing?” the blond boy yells, pointing at the TV on display, showing one of those heroes in work.

“Uwah, All Might’s so cool!”

(E/c) eyes followed the boys’ gazes, watching a big hulking figure power through villains.

She could only nod, half-heartedly, keeping her eyes on the screen, listening to the two boys go on about how amazing he was.

Booming laughter sounded off from the screen, the two boys anticipating as the hero turned to the camera. “I am here!”

And then, the boys went wild – gesticulating wildly, words of admiration leaving their lips, eyes twinkling with amazement. Honestly, it was easy to like someone as big and prominent as All Might.

But in a world ruled by quirks, and your perception of them tainted at an early age, it was difficult to really set yourself on where you stood.

“Isn’t he the coolest, (Nickname?)” green eyes turned to the (h/c) girl.

“Uh, yeah…” came the girl’s reply, rather dull and lacking in the same energy as the two boys.

“That was a weak reply, (Name)!” the blond boy turned to her, a bit offended. “You should be crying out like me and Deku! All Might’s the coolest!”

Chancing a look at the said hero on screen, she shrugged, unsure how to reply to that. “I mean, I guess he is.”

Both boys froze at their friend’s lack of admiration for their favorite hero.

“Sorry I’m not like you guys.”

“T-That’s okay, (Nickname).” The green-haired boy says, voice shaky and his eyes sheen with tears he’s fighting off, smiling warmly at her.

“Hey, that doesn’t mean I don’t like him, though. He’s just not my favorite hero.”

The blond boy’s carmine eyes widen at that, the three kids began to walk home together once the show was over.

“Then, who is your favorite?”

“Hm…I guess I prefer the quiet heroes, I guess?” she nods, mind thinking of policemen, teachers, cooks, train staff, and fishermen. “Ones that don’t really stand out but are cooler in other ways.”

“Ah, there’s this one hero I heard about from Kyoto!” Izuku tells her. “He has a healing quirk, but he’s also really good at martial arts and carries a cool staff with him.”

“That’s Merlin!” the girl gushes excitedly, her walking having a bit of a jump. “The Wandering Hero: Merlin! He’s so cool! I think my grandpa mentioned him before, having trained in our dojo when he was still in training. Ma says he was the prettiest looking man next to Pa. And Pa says his quirk’s extra cool if you get to see it in person!”

(E/c) eyes sparkled the more she gushed about this hero of hers, one he’s never heard of because of his rather elusive nature as a hero.

“That sounds amazing, (Nickname)! I wish my family could have known All Might as well!” the green-haired boy’s tiny fists shook with excitement, sharing her enthusiasm.

“Tch, All Might’s still better. Just wait ‘til I become a hero, (Name)…” muttered the blond, hands in his pockets. “Then you’ll see that I’m definitely the best outta the rest.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, looking at her friend in disbelief. Then mischief.

Getting behind him, she kicks the backs of his knees, causing him to topple to the ground face first.

“Ah, Kacchan!”

“What the hell was that for, (Name)!?”

“That was so lame of you, Katsuki!” laughed the girl, sticking her tongue out as she grabbed the green-haired boy’s hand and proceeded to run ahead of him.

Angered the boy rushes to his knees, cheeks definitely not flushed, and gives the two a chase. “HAH!? WHO’RE YOU CALLING LAME!?”

Three little kids ran down the streets, laughing in their wake.

Traditions in Japan were rather a thing that made the country quite known to the outside world, as many adhered to certain types of customs.

And as per family tradition, certain family never fails to hand over ochugen gifts to the people in your lives.

A (h/c) girl was headed off to the Bakugou’s first, a box full of fresh harvest from her grandpa’s garden. Coincidentally, it also happened to be Izuku’s birthday and she got him special tickets to that superhero exhibit. To commemorate, she had even worn an All Might shirt!

Reaching the Bakugou’s, she put down the Midoriya’s box, before reaching for the doorbell. Someone yelled inside, followed by explosive remarks, which was something she’s rather used to.

Patiently waiting, she felt a buzz, taking her phone out of her shorts pocket, smiling when she saw a text from the birthday boy, feeling the excitement through his text.

The door clicked open, her smile still in place as she furiously texted Izuku back. As she pressed reply, she then pocketed her phone and readily met a pair of carmine eyes.

Except, the owner of said eyes came from the last person she cared for, smile flattening.

For a second there was surprise in his features, softening slightly as his usual scowl set in. His eyes took in her form, the box, then at the ridiculous shirt she had on. “What the fuck are you wear-“

Behind him, a voice called out. “(Name)-chan!”

It was Auntie Mitsuki.

Smile finding its way back, a rather polite one at that, the teen greeted her back. “Hiya, Auntie!”

Shouldering her son aside, receiving a snarky reply she didn’t bother with, the Bakugou matriarch’s eyes shined at the sight of the young teen. “Look at you, growing up so fast to be this cute!” unable to help herself, she reached over to pinch the younger girl’s cheeks before swallowing her into her arms for a hug. Releasing the girl, her carmine eyes then focused and shined at the items in her hand. “Ah, Shihan really has the neatest harvest every summer, thanks for these!”

“We most graciously bestow our gratitude to you, oh great Bakugou Mitsuki!” the teen implored, rather dramatically, earning a laugh between the two, like a running gag.

Bakugou could only watch, quite amazed at their relationship.

“Oi brat, get this will ya?” snapped his mother over her shoulder.

“Don’t tell me what to do, hag!” screamed the blond back, carefully taking the box from her hands.

Their eyes met briefly before she easily slid them away to focus on his mom, an instantaneous reaction.

“You seem dolled up, (Name)-chan. Got a date?”

Humming, she tilted her head to the side. “You could say that,” at that, Bakugou nearly stumbled in his step but she didn’t notice. “it’s Izuku’s birthday today and I’m just having a birthday date with him in a while!”

At the mentioned of Deku, Bakugou froze in his step, looking over his shoulder to take in her attire once more – a gaudy All Might shirt tucked into some simple denim shorts, then some sneakers.

“Aw, ain’t that cute. Oi, Katsuki, why aren’t you with them!?”

Caught, he burst out a reply. “HAH? Why the hell would I spend time with those extras?” his words got the best of him before he could control himself, her brows knitting together, pain flashing through (e/c) eyes for a quick second. He instantly regretted opening his stupid mouth.

“Anyways," he couldn't help notice the slight strain in her voice, feeling his heart drop "I just came to drop by our ochugen gifts. Thank you again for all your help, Auntie.” Grabbing the Midoriya’s gift box from the ground, the teen worked on a smile. “Please tell Uncle Masaru I said hi!” And with that, she was gone.

Both blonds watch the young girl walk away before the door closed. Without a word, Mitsuki walked back in, giving a quick smack to her son’s head before disappearing into the kitchen.

Her hit was rather soft, reprimanding.

Something unpleasant filled his gut as he dropped the gift box on the dining room table and headed off to his room, pained (e/c) eyes haunting him.

You always hurt the ones you love.

Does it feel weird to feel close to someone you haven’t spoken to in years? That there’s always been this sort of connection between the two of you that instantly links you together even after days, months, years of zero contact?

Well, that’s how Bakugou Katsuki feels towards Yuroichi (Name).

Ever since they were kids and he was introduced to (Name), she was all he cared about. Well, there was Deku, but he was second on his list.

(Name) had always been special for him.

But then, things changed.

Since being paired up with Deku for his practical exam, he was unsettled. Well, he’s been unsettled for a lot of things for lots of reasons. But basically, what he’s been unsettled about with Deku was (Name).

While he remembered wimpy Deku trailing behind him, there was always (Name) ready to drag him away or be beside him. Where there was Deku, (Name) was sure to follow. They were like a combo; one was never without the other. He hated it.

Deku had no fucking quirk, was weak, small, a shitty nerd, yet he had the fucking gall to stand up and try to be a hero. With that, (Name) shifted her attention and adoration to him and him alone.

Honestly, he didn’t mind that they were quirkless – they honestly just got in the way.

Still, it fucking hurts that (Name) wouldn’t bother looking his way or even saying a word to him. Fuck, even Deku would acknowledge him even if it were outta fear!

Bullying probably made sense to keep her distance, especially since he loved targeting weak quirkless like Deku and her. But to be on the receiving end of those angry eyes, it made him weak. It may have enforced and asserted his dominance in middle school, but to her, it was a disgusting power play.

He may not be close with her compared to when they were younger, but he’s always kept an eye out for her (and Deku, shut up). He knows that she’s an expert martial artist, bagging and winning several competitions and tournaments, was the pride of the school and her family dojo, sleeps a lot during classes, and sometimes, the older kids would pick on her because they knew she was tough.

(However, after that one time in middle school, she stopped with the fighting and worked on a clean slate.)

She never befriended anyone without a quirk lightly, the majority of her friends either were quirkless or had a really minor, insignificant quirk. She didn’t seem to care nor mind. However, Deku remained her closest companion.

He’d see her a lot – in hallways, in class, on the way home, but he never got to be with her.

Nonchalant, lax, yet kind and sweet to others, but to him, she was forcibly polite and civil.

Those adoring, reassuring, warm (e/c) eyes were reserved for that one shitty nerd.

He hated to admit it, but he craved for her attention, yearned for her approval, and desperately lingered on the fact that they were childhood friends, so he’s obliged to keep a relationship, even when now they’re barely acquaintances.

On his middle school graduation, while he was surrounded by his so-called friends and his parents, his eyes easily caught on two people laughing amongst themselves.

Just seeing them, laughing together with cherry blossoms fluttering to paint an idyllic image, suddenly made him feel extremely lonely. His hold on his diploma slackened, fingers and foot twitching, eyes taking his childhood acquaintances in.

Graduating top of his class, with a bright future set for UA High School. He should be excited, right? Ecstatic even at what he’s gained? Yet why does it feel so lacking?

Carmine eyes began to soften, especially at the smaller of the two. Realization dawned unto him, the occasion was rather bittersweet for (Name), as it was nearing a year since she lost her parents and she couldn’t share the joyous occasion with them. Thankfully, she had her grandfather with her, then Auntie Inko, and Deku.

But not him.

Irked, he left before his mom could find them, no doubt, to use the opportunity to snag a photo of the three.

Nothing hurts more than to realize that the one person – he swore to protect, to keep by his side, had completely shunned him.

At first, they were inseparable. But as the years passed, they drifted apart.

The day (Name) punched him was a literal awakening, a prologue really. It got him worked up. Then the Sludge Incident happened. Her parents died. The light in those (e/c) eyes weren’t as bright as before, even when she got a part-time job.

He knew he was wrong; he won’t deny that (but he won’t say it out loud either), but he won’t ever hide from it either.

After getting into UA, he felt her punch even more at the introduction of his classmates with quirks, as she aptly put it “better and flashier” compared to his.

That stung, hurting his ego.

Damn, the top was a challenge.

But he wasn’t backing down, damn it.

So, what is he was a proud asshole? He had every reason to be! He had compensated with his talents, smarts, and versatility.

Still, to be called out on having a shitty personality boosted only by the fact that he had a strong quirk could do a number to him.

When it came to matters of the heart, he sucked in that aspect.

(h/c) locks, framing a pretty face with (e/c) eyes, they always, always, always manage to catch him off-guard.

Unbeknownst to the green-haired nerd, whenever he opened his big mouth to his friends in 1-A, he’d hope there was something about (Name), no matter how small or insignificant. They even texted.

Pride would always win over him whenever Deku would openly talk about (Name) – Bakugou would pretend to be uninterested, looking out the window while he was actually taking in the nerd’s words like a starved man, he was the only source of news he had because for the first time in their life, (Name) was not there with them. It sucked. (She was very clear on steering away from heroics or people who had a quirk, despite having one herself)

The days were lonelier and duller without her. Deku’s ramblings were something – slightly comforting, but don’t tell him that, but it just missed that one figure next to him.

For all his bravado, just the mere mention of Yoruichi (Name) made him weak. Wait, scratch that, (Name) was a strong person by herself, he did not make him weak, shut up. Hesitate, yeah, that’s the word, she made him falter, hesitate. Whatever.

Thankfully, none of his idiotic ragtag of friends keyed in on that. Save for Deku.

Deku, who’d always known. Deku, that sharp fucking nerd who always tried to be the goody-two-shoes and goaded him to talk to her.

Like fuck he’d talk to him about (Name), fucking no way. He’d rather have his nails done with half-and-half bastard than to have a heart-to-heart talk with fucking Deku.

Still, there was just one thing he was sure of about Deku, one thing he’ll never admit to anyone – or even him, out loud: compared between the two, Deku was always the bigger person. He was kinder, gentler, better.

A part of him would forever be jealous of the fact that Deku had been there for her when he couldn’t. Deku had access to parts of (Name) he was barred from. Deku was protective of her. Deku had (Name).

And as for him? Well, he was probably good as a dead fuck to her.

The punch still stung.

Nothing hurts more than to realize that you never had a chance, to begin with.

From: (Name) Yuroichi

To: Bakugou Katsuki

I’m glad you’re safe.

A day after Kamino…

For once, the Bakugou household was at peace, a day after his kidnapping. The day before, there was screaming, yelling, crying from both parentals that probably had dried off for today. At least for the first few minutes of the day.

The doorbell rang, Katsuki called out to get it, desperate for a bit of distraction from the silence around him.

He opened the door then froze, breath hitching. Two breaths, actually.

Carmine met (e/c).

For once, indifference was not the expression set on her face that he was looking at, but a softened expression. So incredibly soft.

An image of a younger her suddenly came to mind, back to when they first met each other.

“Katsu- “stopping, her lips pinched together, a small frown setting in, not ready to say his name just yet.

Hurt flashed in his eyes, desperately taking her in.

When he was kidnapped, first of all, he was annoyed as fuck, but most of all, he was scared. The League of Villains had him by the neck, literally, immobilized him, just to lure out All Might. And the thing that kept him grounded was her, (Name). The memory of her soft expression after they’d washed the dishes, comforting silence between them, that burnt mark on her neck, her telling him to have fun at summer camp. Her text message.

Remembering her presence at his doorstep, his eyes caught hold of the item in her hand – ochugen gifts, he uncharacteristically gestured at it.

“U-Uh…”

“Y-Yeah…ochugen.”

“My mom’s not home, so…” his words came out lamely, weakly. So, unlike him.

But she was so lost in her head that she could only nod.

Gently, he reached for the box, their fingers brushing against each other lightly.

Something fluttered in his chest, wildly and tightly. Summer seemed to have come quickly as he was beginning to sweat, the smell of burnt sugar bleeding through.

“T-Then…”

“Hn,”

Head still hung low, he took it as her parting, something in his chest twisting painfully, and he slowly turned on his back.

(Before he headed back in, instincts – maybe, or her heart forced her to, she grabbed hold on the back of his shirt, stopping him, and pressed her head between his shoulder blades, taking in his scent.)

Bakugou didn’t move, feeling her shaking hands balling into fists, as though to ground herself.

“I…I know I said this already, but still, I want you to know,” her voice was shaky, but she continued to speak, taking a deep breath. “I’m so glad you’re safe.” The thing in his chest continued to flutter wildly, threatening to come out. “And I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

Silence followed, likening to a pregnant pause, there was more she wanted to say, but the fear of having your feelings get the best of you seemed off-setting in the given situation, so she settled for that.

Before another word was said, she hurriedly grabbed the Midoriya’s box and clumsily left, completely red in the face.

He watched her leave over his shoulder, she almost ran into the gate, fumbling with the box as she headed to the Midoriya’s.

Suddenly, he felt lighter. The punch no longer hurt, leaving a bruise in its wake. This was the beginning of progress with her, it was something. Proud as he is, Bakugou’s never one to admit his mistakes, but for her, he’ll try.

If anything, she was right about everything she thought about him. Especially the part that he was lame.

masterlist • eight

[glxssylaufey]

Mischief Maker - Chapter 2

a/n: i’m sorry this is a bit longer than usual ahh! i also apologize if the writing is a little bad or if there’s any mistakes, i tried my best :) also i apologize if you’re not on the taglist, it didn’t let me tag some of you. anyways, enjoy!

summary: loki x reader ; The time has come to attend Stark’s party. How will the reader handle Loki’s mischief?

word count: 5,156

warnings: mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of bullying, language, slightly spicy hehe

taglist: @alex-sulli @delightfulheartdream @mademoiselledubois @destructivebliss @kingtwhiddleston @madcrazy50 @rachel-voychuk

It was no secret that Tony Stark loved to make a grand entrance to everything he does. This morning was no exception. The time was around 8:15 when Tony practically kicked your door down to rip your blinds open. Sometimes you almost felt as if he was just another father figure in your life.

“Rise and shine!” he announced, forcing sunlight into your room. “We have a big day today, Y/N, c’mon!” he spoke as he continued to shake you awake. You lazily blinked open your eyes, groaning when Tony ripped your blankets from you. You already knew what he was here for.

“Alright, whatcha got for me?” Tony asked as he looked for the paintings he had requested the night before. You sighed.

“A headache, that’s what I have for you.” you replied, shoving your face back into your pillow.

“No, you’re not allowed to have a headache.” he simply stated. “Let me guess, you don’t have any paintings picked out?” You sat up on your bed, rolling your eyes when you saw Tony standing in the middle of your room with his arms crossed like a child.

“I can pick some out in literally five minutes, Tony, just let me wake up.” you said waving your hand at him, hoping he’d be satisfied with your answer.

“Yeah? Well make it quick, I don’t have all day.” he argued, walking towards your door. “By the way, breakfast is ready.” Tony said in a sing-song voice before leaving your room. You simply hummed in response, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Today was going to be difficult, you already knew. Even though you were agreeing to spend your time with bidding paintings at the party, you still had your heart set on sneaking Loki in somehow. You were just stumped on how you would get that to happen.

~

After a morning of much needed breakfast, you got ready to face the day. Tony had asked both you and Natasha to go to the store to pick up a long list of supplies for the party. So there you stood, scanning the store’s large selection of alcohol bottles, not knowing which one Tony would want.

“What does he have on the list?” you ask, turning to Nat. She quickly scanned through the dramatically large catalog and shrugged.

“Just whatever looks good, I guess.” she replied before looking back to the shelves. Without another word, Natasha settled for three huge bottles of vodka. You don’t argue, seeing as you were just as clueless as to what Tony would want. “So tell me, what’s been going on with you?” she asks suddenly. You both proceeded to explore the store for whatever else the list requested.

“Oh, you know.” you paused. “The usual.” What ‘the usual’ was, you had no idea. Your life hasn’t exactly been normal since Thor had brought Loki into the Avengers Tower.

“Like what, painting pretty pictures and babysitting gods?” Nat laughed, plopping a case of Coca-Cola into the shopping cart. You were about to protest against her teasing when you realized that truly was what you have been doing for the past two days.

“Yeah, pretty much.” you admitted with a sigh. Natasha chuckled, before a moment of silence.

“How’s Loki?” she asked suddenly. The question made you tense up. It wasn’t that you hated talking about Loki, just something about him made your mind go blank.

“He’s fine.” you replied plainly. You then noticed Nat raise an eyebrow at you as if she knew that you were hiding something. Which she did, of course. You opted to continue, not seeing a point in lying to your friend or yourself. “He’s not as awful as everyone claims him to be. I think he’s just misunderstood.” you persuaded. Natasha nodded, listening intently.

“What makes you think that?” she questioned. That’s when you realized Natasha only knew the Loki that had invaded New York city, much like everyone else. She only saw the villain of the story and not the god that you saw up on the hill. That’s when you began to pour your heart out.

“Yesterday when I took him outside, I saw a side of him that I don’t think anyone else has seen before. He told me stories about Asgard and it sounded like so much more than just some ancient legend. It seemed so normal. He seemed so normal.” you explained, almost passionately. “I don’t know, Nat. I think he’s actually really sweet.” you admitted. Natasha’s eyes went wide.

“Oh my god, Y/N, you like him!” she gasped. Your heart practically stopped at her accusation. There’s no way that you had feelings for the God of Mischief.

“Oh my- absolutely not!” you stammered. “I’m just simply being kind!” you insisted. You could feel your face burning, undoubtedly displaying your embarrassment.

“Y/N, you cannot like Loki, that’s insane!” Nat declared. You could practically feel the stares from the other people in the store, considering how loud the two of you were being.

“I just said I don’t!” you corrected her.

“But you most certainly are lying!” Natasha accused, halting the shopping cart.

“I’m not.”

“Say that to me with a straight face then.”

“Nat, PUSH. THE. CART.”

“HA! I knew it!”

You both continued to bicker and squabble for the rest of the shopping trip. It wasn’t until you and Natasha reached the checkout line that the childlike arguing returned back to its normal conversational tone.

“Oh god, what will Tony think?” Natasha said with a gasp. You groaned, covering your face with your hands. The longer you listened to her babble on about Loki, the more you realized she could be right. You admit, Loki was a fairly attractive person. Plus his gentlemanly charm didn’t help your case much. Oh, who were you kidding? Loki was downright gorgeous and you knew it. No matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you knew that you were slowly catching feelings for the god.

“Tony can’t know, he’d have a fit.” you spoke almost in a whisper, as if Tony was listening to your conversation.

“Oh, so you admit it? You do have a crush on Loki?” Natasha asked eagerly.

“N-no! Well, yes, but you can’t say a word about it!” you pleaded almost in disbelief at what you had just admitted. You had a crush on the almighty Loki and there was no denying it. Natasha simply giggled like a school girl.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” she assured you. Except the way she continued to smile about it the whole car ride home showed that she was going to have a difficult time keeping your secret.

“Wipe that smirk off your face, Romanoff, nobody can know!” you suddenly said as she drove the two of you back to the Avengers Tower.

“I’m sorry, I just have to say it.” she started. You shook your head, knowing this conversation wouldn’t end anytime soon. “You should try to make a move tonight.” she suggested, giving you a smug smirk.

“Oh c’mon, you know he’s not allowed at the party.” you claimed. “But I have been thinking about ways to sneak him in tonight.” Natasha mocked a gasp.

“Y/N, how scandalous of you.” she poked fun at you, causing you to giggle. “I must say though, I think you can absolutely do better.” she suddenly stated, making your jaw drop slightly.

“What do you mean?” you asked, slightly put out.

“Loki is a mass murderer!” Natasha indicated. “Not to mention he’s tortured our friends and acts like a complete asshole.” she continued. You wave your hand at her in an attempt to silence her.

“Like I said, he’s changed.” you defended. Natasha didn’t respond, leaving you two in silence. After some time, you thought of your task to sell your paintings at the party. You decided that it could be best if you were to just leave Loki in his room. Plus, it’s not like everything Natasha had said wasn’t true. Perhaps it's for the best that you don’t get too close with the terrorist of New York.

~

Third Person POV:

Loki watched his brother pace the floor as he sat on the bed, pondering ways to sneak himself into the party. The longer they allowed time to pass by, the more hopeless Loki began to feel.

“We’re short on time brother, this won’t work.” Loki sighed. “I say we just go with my idea.” he suggested. Thor gave him a stern look and crossed his arms.

“Loki, we are not going to tie up one of the party members to disguise yourself as them.” Thor lectured his brother. Loki scoffed at Thor’s statement. After a bit more pacing, Thor snapped his fingers as a scheme formed in his mind.

“But perhaps disguises are not such a terrible idea after all!” Thor quipped with a large grin. Loki raised his eyebrow at Thor, signaling him to continue with his thought. “Think back to when we were children. That trick you always played on me when you would transform yourself into a snake just to stab me.” Thor explained with slight annoyance in his voice, remembering those times of his childhood.

“If you’re suggesting I slither into the event as a snake, I don’t think the midgardians would be too pleased with serpents being let loose in the building.” Loki glared at Thor, thinking it was a poor idea.

“Yes, but that’s only if you are caught.” Thor urged with a devious smile. He knew his younger brother was always up for a challenge and this task seemed perfect for him. Loki gave the thought a second chance before chuckling to himself.

“Excuse me, brother.” Loki sighed, standing up from the bed. “I have a party to attend.”

~

Stark’s party was full to the brim with people. You had already known ahead of time that the event would be completely packed, yet the amount of people still managed to astonish you. So there you were, greeting people as they walked in. You gave warm smiles and shook hands with the ones who offered it. After some friendly greetings, you were approached by Tony who had ushered you away from the entrance. You expected nothing less from him.

“Alright Y/N, this is your deadline. Where’s the paintings?” he asked, feigning impatience.

“Relax, Tony, I’ve got everything set up by the bar.” you advised him, gesturing towards your stand which displayed the art.

“Oh good, because I’ve already promised like four people that I had museum quality shit here.” he shared quickly, walking towards your platform. You roll your eyes and dramatically sigh at Tony.

“Of course you have.” you said, following him. “Well I suppose I should get to work then.” you said, observing the line of people in front of the small stage.

“Good thinking. Thanks again, Picasso.” Tony thanked you, giving you a quick pat on the shoulder before sauntering over to a large group of people. You took a step onto the platform and strolled over to the small microphone displayed on a stand for you. Everyone took note of your presence and gave their full attention to you. You looked out to the crowd before sighing. As much as you weren’t in the mood to converse with a large amount of people, you always had an open heart for Tony.

“Hello, everyone!” you greeted into the microphone. “My name is Y/N and I am the creator of these paintings presented before you today. Let’s just start with a little bit of browsing, shall we?” you suggested, hoping the crowd would see eye to eye with your proposal. Much to your relief, they did, nodding their heads with agreement. “Great! Bidding will start in ten minutes.” you announced before turning the microphone off. You sighed in relief, happy you had extra time for yourself. In all honesty, you just needed time to get a drink. You were convinced you could never survive a Stark party without some sort of alcohol to give you an extra confidence boost. As you made your way to the bar, you were halted by no other than your friend Thor. He was dressed quite dapper, yet casual enough to give him easy mobility.

“Ah, Y/N! So lovely to see you.” he greeted, with a beer bottle in his hand.

“Thor, it’s great to see you too.” you nodded at him with a cordial smile. “You look striking tonight.” you complimented.

“Oh, you’re too kind. You look very well put together yourself.” Thor chuckled, giving you a friendly wink. You were wearing a nicely fitted red dress that fell right above your knees with lace to give it alluring details. You also wore black heels to give you an extra two or so inches.

“Thank you very much.” you blushed, giving him a curt nod. You began to walk away to retrieve a drink from the bar, but it seemed Thor had different plans. He quickly stepped in front of you, halting you in your tracks.

“One more thing!” Thor announced. “I believe my drink requires a refill.” he explained waving his empty bottle almost nervously. You chuckle lightly, wondering why he was telling you this.

“Are you asking me to get you another beer, Odinson?” you snicker. Thor’s eyes widen as he begins to stammer for the right words.

“No, no! My apologies, I’m perfectly capable of getting my own drink. I’d just like for you to join me.” he specified, gesturing towards the bar, awkwardly smiling.

“Oh!” you exclaimed in delight. You felt having your friend to accompany you would help ease your mind. “I’d like that, thank you.” you said as you started to walk. Thor followed closely next to you with a beaming smile.

Everything was going perfectly.

Once you reached the bar you took a seat on one of the tall bar stools. You were scanning the menu when Thor set his empty bottle on the counter before taking a step away from the bar.

“Please excuse me, Lady Y/N. I believe Stark has called for me.” Thor stated quickly. Confused, you turned to look at the large mass of people Tony was talking to. You could’ve sworn Tony hadn’t even paid attention to anything but his guests. Before you could question anything, Thor had already quickly turned to walk the opposite direction. You sighed, turning back towards the bar when you realized there wasn’t even a bartender to tend to you.

“Well this was useless.” you muttered to yourself. As you were about to stand from your seat, Thor’s beer bottle began to shake. You froze, thinking your eyes were just playing tricks on you. Suddenly, a small snake began to crawl out of the bottle and onto the counter. You gasped, jumping from your seat in shock. Surely you were imagining things. The green scaly creature paused to curiously look up at you then turned to slowly slither down the opposite side of the bar. You approached the bar once more, peeking over the top of the counter to search for the snake. Then with a green glow, the snake quickly transformed into the one and only Loki Laufeyson. He simply sighed, brushing off his gorgeously tailored black suit and looked up at you.

“Good evening.” he greeted casually. Your mouth hung open, completely caught off guard at what you had just witnessed.

“Loki, you- how- you aren't supposed to be here!” you stumbled your words in confusion.

“Yes, but was it not you who said I shouldn’t be cooped up in my chambers all day?” Loki snorted playfully. You had no possible way to protest. Instead you resorted to looking around to make sure nobody was looking in your direction. This earned a barely audible groan from Loki. “I presume you wish for me to change back and slither my way back to my room then?” he questioned.

“No!” you declared maybe a little too quickly. “It’s okay, you can stay.” you said trying to remain calm. Loki smiled at how flustered you were, finding it almost amusing.

“Verywell.” he settled calmly. “Now, my lady, may I offer you a drink?” he suggested with a tone that gave you uncontrollable butterflies. You blushed at his offer with a nervous smile.

“I think a red wine will suffice, thank you.” you replied as naturally as you possibly could. Though of course it was a difficult task trying to keep calm. Loki just nodded and turned to prepare your glass. You couldn’t help but look over your shoulder to be sure nobody was watching you. You knew that Stark practically had eyes everywhere, not to mention anybody could easily take a glance at Loki and recognize him from New York. Because of this, you spoke the first thing that came to your mind.

“Loki, we have to get out of here.” you uttered straightforward. He paused pouring your glass of wine to give you a puzzled look. “Tony is bound to realize that you’re here. Plus the bartender could come back at any moment.” you told him, quickly standing to your feet. Loki just nodded before setting the wine bottle down with a slightly disappointed sigh.

“Lead the way then.” Loki said almost in a testing tone. Without another word, the same green glow from earlier masked over his body and changed him back into his serpent form. Loki snaked back into the beer bottle that he had once emerged from, hinting for you to carry him as Thor did. You grabbed the bottle from the counter and turned to walk from the bar. Where you were headed was beyond you. At this point, you were simply just trying to get away from the crowd of people. As you walked, you looked down at the empty beer bottle to be sure Loki sat comfortably in his glass container. He simply looked up at you and poked his tongue out at you in response. As a result of not watching where you were walking, you ended up walking right into a woman’s body, nearly knocking her over. You gasp, taking a step back from the mystery person.

“I am so sorry!” you exclaimed before quickly looking down into the beer bottle to affirm Loki was okay. Though what you were not expecting was a familiar voice to respond to your apologies.

“Well would you look at who it is.” the woman spoke with a chuckle. “You were always quite a clumsy girl.” she remarked. When you looked up to identify the woman, you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your mouth.

“Alice Weaver!” you exclaimed. You didn’t know who to expect the woman to be, but it certainly wasn’t her. Alice was a girl you had met back in highschool. She had insisted on devoting her teenage years to making yours miserable. It had started when her boyfriend at the time had broken up with her and he attempted to use you as a rebound. Her jealousy for you has been undying ever since.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Y/N!” she grinned, her shrill voice dripping with sarcasm. “How have you been?” she asked.

“I’ve been fine, thanks.” you said, shifting from side to side. You made an attempt to walk past her, but of course she quickly stepped in front of you before you could make any distance.

“Oh good!” she quipped as she looked you up and down. She then caught sight of the beer bottle in your hand. “I never took you for a beer drinker, though.” you panicked a little, hoping she wouldn’t see the small snake hiding inside of it.

“It’s for a friend.” you quickly whipped up an answer. Alice scoffed.

“That’s what they all say, isn’t it?” she questioned, keeping her seemingly sweet smile on display. You gritted your teeth. In all honesty, you were still in shock that she was even here in the first place. “Anyways, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to hear that I’m actually staying at the compound until tomorrow. I’m here to assist Stark on research.” she went on. You listened in disbelief.

“Research?” you asked plainly, your throat running dry.

“Yes of course, I’m studying engineering and physics.” Alice gushed.

“Wonderful.” you spat as friendly as you could possibly muster. You went to take a step and she walked in front of you yet again.

“Oh, Y/N, shouldn’t you be over there bidding those… pictures?” she said, pointing over towards your stand. “Here, I’ll hold this for you!” she said quickly snatching the beer bottle. You gasped trying your best to grab it back.

“Wait, no! Alice, I need that!” you yelped, struggling to grab the bottle back. You were suddenly pulled back from her, leaving you empty handed.

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?!” Tony whisper-screamed to you, retracting you from Alice. “I have a group of very unhappy people waiting for you. Now stop bugging my student and do your job.” he exclaimed before softly shoving you towards the small stage. Now you were panicking. Tony Stark and your high school nemesis were in possession of Loki and you couldn’t do a single thing about it. So there you were, nervously walking up onto the stage and turning the microphone on.

“I am so sorry for the delay everyone, I ran into some issues.” you spoke to the crowd nervously. “I suppose I’ve kept you all waiting long enough, let’s get started.” you clapped your hands together, trying to seem as normal as possible. As you continued to speak out towards the crowd, you watched from afar as Tony and Alice continued to talk. You could tell by the way the two kept glancing over at you, they were certainly speaking of your behavior. You shakily sighed, going to grab a painting to exhibit it on the easel. Once you were back in front of the microphone you opened your mouth to speak but was abruptly interrupted when you felt something crawl down the back of your neck, causing you to squeak. This earned a suspicious reaction from the people in the crowd. You quickly recomposed yourself when you heard little snake hisses behind your ear. Loki. You were immensely relieved that he managed to sneak out of the bottle. He must have quickly slithered up your arm and up your back when Alice had grabbed the bottle from you. Although you were beyond grateful for his escape, feeling his cold scales on your bare skin made you shutter. You quickly cleared your throat.

“Excuse me, I just am not myself tonight.” you managed to squeak out. “A-anyways, do we have any takers for this piece?” you stuttered out. As you continued to make biddings for your painting, you could feel Loki leisurely slither down your neck and into the back of your dress. You slightly jumped at feeling Loki enter the back of your dress, making your heart race. “Sold!” you nearly barked out, hoping it would get Loki to cease his crawling. It didn’t. He continued down your dress until he rested over the back of your bra. You began to walk as casual as possible to your next art piece. As you bent down to pick it up you felt Loki crawl to the side of your dress towards the cup of your bra. After picking it up, you subtly brushed your bicep over your side, hoping to halt Loki’s movement. With your luck, this seemed to only spur him on. Loki then made haste to sneak into the cup of your bra, causing you to gasp.

“Can we hurry it up, please?” a very impatient man nagged from the audience. You groaned in response, not entirely sure if it was from the man’s remark or Loki.

“M-my apologies, sir.” you apologized, clearly annoyed yourself. “I guess I just have a chill I can’t seem to shake.” you admitted to the audience, but mostly directed towards the small snake currently resting in your bra. You felt him nestled comfortably against your skin, finally stopping to rest. “Next up is one of my personal favorites. Do we have any takers?” you spoke out to the crowd. You continued the bidding, trying the best you could to ignore the fact that Loki Laufeyson, the God of Mischief was presently relaxed in the cup of your bra as a snake. As you continued speaking, you felt him hiss from time to time causing his small forked tongue to brush the skin of your sternum. You swore it made your breath hitch everytime. This continued until every single piece was presented to its new owner. By the end of the night, you ended up with a large amount of cash though you didn’t seem to care much about that. While you granted the very last person your last painting, Stark approached with a drink in his hand. You whined to yourself upon seeing him. You were far too flustered to even deal with his snarky remarks.

“Congrats, Y/N! You got the job done.” Tony joked. You leered at him, walking off the stage.

“Tony, not now.” you said, trying to walk away.

“Oh don’t be such a sour puss, you got loads of cash.” he continued to provoke. “Hold on, I got one more thing for you.” You felt your body stiffen. You sigh, turning on your heels to face Tony.

“What?” you asked plainly. Tony flashed you a smile as he handed you the drink he had come to you with. Whiskey on ice.

“For you, it’s on the house. Just a ‘thank you’ for tonight.” he said, sounding truly genuine. You couldn’t possibly stay mad at him, even if it was Tony Stark. You took the glass from him and returned the smile.

“You’re welcome.” you smiled. Just as you were about to take a sip of your much deserved reward, you felt Loki abruptly start to move again. He began to creep his way out the side of the cup of your bra, passing into the opposite one. This resulted in a yelp that had been caught in your throat all night, startling Tony.

“Y/N, are you-”

“Loki!”

“What?”

“I have to check on Loki!” you quickly shouted setting the drink down. “H-he’s been in his room all night!” you swiftly made an excuse. Thankfully, your excuse was adequate enough for you to get out of there. You swiftly speed walked to the nearest bathroom avoiding any more interruptions. The quicker you moved, the more agitated you could feel Loki getting. As you made your way to the bathroom you could feel him continue to slither around your bra. Once you finally reached the bathroom you slammed the door shut and pulled the hem of your dress away from your chest.

“OUT!” you screamed. Loki listened, crawling out of your bra and down your leg. Once he reached the floor, his magic glow covered him once more, turning him back into his godly self.

“Well…” he panted, clearly shaken up from how speedy you walked. “Could you have moved any faster?” he nearly growled. You could feel your anger rise and your patience snap.

“How is any of this my fault?!” you shouted at him. “What in the hell were you doing, going into my bra like that?” you asked. Loki rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Oh my apologies, in case you didn’t notice, I had nowhere else to go!” he snapped back. You loudly groaned as you covered your face with your hands.

“Tonight was a disaster, all thanks to you!” you argued, pointing a finger at him.

“Me?!” he barked, causing his voice to echo throughout the bathroom. You jumped at his sudden loudness. “I put all my efforts in sneaking into this awful party just so I could simply serve you a drink to thank you for your generosity from yesterday.” he spoke loudly, slowly approaching you. His words shocked you. You hadn’t realized that Loki only wanted to attend the event just so he could show you some kindness. Your face fell, almost feeling sorry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” you said in a softer tone. Loki remained irritated, taking another big step towards you so there was almost no more space between the two of you. Your breath became ragged.

“Perhaps next time, at least make an attempt to stay calm and keep yourself from squirming.” he requested bitterly.

“You want to speak about squirming?!” your voice raised again. “How about next time, you don’t go into my bra!”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” Loki rolled his eyes. “Your breath betrays you, Midgardian. If I didn’t know any better, the hitch in your throat would tell me that you rather enjoyed it.” he mocked. You could feel your face burn a bright red, embarrassment flooding your emotions.

“Y-you disgust me!” you spat out. Loki snickered almost as if he was purposely trying to provoke you.

“There it is again.” he pointed out. “You get flustered so easily, it’s almost pitiful.” You remained silent, stunned by his remark. He continued to stare at you, his face dangerously close to yours.

“I hate you.” you whispered. What happened next was completely out of your control. Instead of getting anger out of Loki, your statement sparked something uncontrollable. He swiftly grabbed your hips and crashed his lips upon yours, sealing you both in a passionate kiss. Before your mind had time to register what was happening, he pulled away, removing his hands from you completely. He examined your face, searching for any sort of restraint. Realizing what he had just done, he became worrisome.

“My most sincere apologies, I-” you quickly cut him off, pulling him back into yet another searing kiss. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as the kiss grew hungrier. His hands traveled up to your face to pull you in closer, making your breath quicken. Your mind was racing with all sorts of emotions, but you knew one thing was for sure: you didn’t want this moment to ever end. But it did. You both quickly pulled away from each other when the door to the bathroom swung open. Your head snapped to look at whoever entered the bathroom and your heart sank when you realized who it was. Alice Weaver stood at the door, looking both you and Loki up and down. She laughed in disbelief at what she saw in front of her.

“Am I interrupting something?”

[whale-minmin]

the new student | choi soobin

♛ Genre : fluff, angst, childhood friends au

♛ Word Count : 1.2k ( I DID IT )

♛ Summary : After a long wait, you're finally reunited with your childhood friend.

♛ a/n : this is something i wrote for a practice of my word count! and i'm so proud of myself, i wouldn't be able to do it without the lovely people who helped and reassured me, thank you :(( ♡♡♡

—

"Oh my god, did you see the new student in our class?" You entered your classroom, as usual sitting on your desk without a word. You were sitting, thank god, alone. You didn't hate your class, but that didn't mean you really liked them, too. You just didn't mind them. Some of your classmates were gossiping loudly, giggling and whispering to each other. "He's so handsome! I'm in love" They sighed, heads up high in the clouds as they daydreamed about the student whose name wasn't yet known.

A new student? Who in their right mind would want to study at your school?

The school is yet to fix the broken light in your classroom, and it has been well over a year. Your school never got new things, you were stuck with the same old desks that countless students have left their mark on, used PE balls, the benches all written on. Eating the school's lunch was quite literally a death wish. Once you ate mashed potatoes here and couldn't get out of the bathroom for a whole day. You prefer not to know the food's expiration date.

The school's bell rang, signaling the sad end of breaktime. The teacher, Mr.Kim entered the class, lazily putting his bag on the desk. "Good morning, class. I will check the attendance and we shall begin our lesson." You pulled your books out of your black bag, laying back against your seat. "Choi Yeonjun?" Mr.Kim glanced at the black-haired, laidback male. "Here~" Yeonjun put his hand up, smiling gently. You liked him, sometimes you talked and he helped you with studying and homework. He was the top student in your class, and one of the best in your school.

"Y/N?" The teacher's eyes searched through the students, finally landing on you. "Here" You said, fiddling with your blue pen. "Okay. We have a new student, which I see.. some of you have already heard of." He glared at the pack of students who were still gossiping about the mysterious student. They instantly shut up, sitting in their seats. "He also appears not to be presen–"

"I'm sorry! I missed the bus and needed to walk. I'm really sorry, teacher" The male bowed, turning to the class. He seemed oddly familiar, his bunny-like features calling out to you somehow. You weren't sure where you knew him from, but everything about him seemed similar. His messy hair, deep, black eyes, the cute smile showing off his bunny teeth you could swear you saw somewhere before.

"It's fine. This is Choi Soobin, our new student. Please sit wherever you'd like." Soobin? Your Soobin? The cute, clumsy Soobin who always looked out for you when you were children? 

The male made eye contact with you, his eyes widening and mouth hanging open. "Soobin, please sit down" The teacher sighed in annoyance, Soobin gasping and bowing to the teacher apologetically before sitting down beside Yeonjun. Everyone was staring at him, the girls and the boys practically drooling. Whispers echoed through the classroom as the teacher wrote the topic on the blackboard.

What if it is your Soobin? He seemed shocked when he saw you too, right? Maybe it was just an odd coincidence? The name Soobin wasn't especially rare in Korea. And it couldn't be him, right? Your best friend, Soobin, moved to Japan because of his father's work. 

But what if?      

–

You were seven years old, playing around in the park. Soobin ran up to you, giggling happily. The boy was filled with joy, his yellow shirt dirty with some mud. "Look, Y/N! Look what I found!" He showed you his hand, a tiny, green frog sitting in it. "Do you want to hold it?" He asked, his cheeks turning rosy pink. You took a closer look at the little frog, extending both of your hands to the male. "Sure!" You laughed, gasping as he gently put the animal on your palm, careful not to hurt or scare it. "Wow!" Your eyes were shining, admiring the little frog.

You wanted to pet it but the frog jumped away into the grass, disappearing from your sight. "Aw.." You pouted, a bit sad that your cute, green friend left. Soobin patted your head, smiling widely. "It's okay! I'll find more animal friends for you!" He assured you, running away to search.

–

Two years later, you were playing with Soobin while your parents talked to each other. "Y/N.. I have to move out soon.." He said while you two were chilling on a bench after playing and running around. "What? But I don't want you to go!" You whined, hugging him as tightly as you could. "It's for my father's job." He hugged you back, letting out a long sigh. "Can't you stay for me?" You asked, your vision becoming blurry as tears started to flow down your cheeks. "I wish I could.. But I promise, I'll be back!" He smiled widely, wiping away your clear tears. "Pinky promise?" You held out your smallest finger to him. "Pinky promise!" He connected his pinky finger with yours, giggling.

–

"Y/N!" Your teacher's yell snapped you back to reality. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't zone out on my lessons." You could feel everyone staring at you, making you want to bury yourself deep underground. "I'm sorry, Mr.Kim." You bowed, opening your notebook. The memories of your childhood all returned, making you feel all kinds of emotions. When he protected you from the neighbourhood bullies, gave you his ice cream because yours fell, when he sang you to sleep. It all came back to you.

The school's bell rang, students getting up to circle around Soobin. Did you zone out for such a long time? You stood up, getting your things. You saw someone trying to push through the crowd of students, apologizing to them for pushing through. It was Soobin, standing before your desk. He reached out his hand to hold your cheek, his mouth wide open. "Y/N..?" 

–

After school, you were standing before the big building with Soobin. It turned out that he was your Soobin after all. It was quite hard to believe, but he was standing right beside you with his adorable, big, bunny smile, the one that you loved so much since you were children. It always made you smile back, and today that was the case too. 

He has grown up pretty handsomely if you'd say so yourself. And.. has gotten quite tall over the years. Once you were just a bit smaller than him, and now he was a real life giant. "What did your parents feed you?" You scoffed, standing on your tippy toes to reach him at least a bit. "This is the first time we met in years and your first question is that?" He laughed, ruffling your hair like he always did when you were younger. "Shortie." He teased playfully, making you scoff loudly and cross your arms. He'd always tease you about things, whether it was your height or something else.

"You're just a giant." You rolled your eyes, hugging him tightly. "We're going home and you're telling me everything, Bin" It felt so good to finally be reunited with him. You began to lose hope, knowing it was unreal for him to come back and find you. But now he was there. Hugging you like there was no tomorrow. You were never going to let him leave you again.

❀❀❀❀❀ a/n² ❀❀❀❀❀

1k isn't a lot of words but it's a start! one step at a time, i'm kinda proud of this <33

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist :

@atiny-chocolate-chip @lmaoskz

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

¿But was it true?

Okay, I just wanna put this out somewhere.

When we were a teenager, our mom kept telling us “you and your brother switched; he was such a loud baby, and you were so quiet...” as if it was simply our personalities shining through as we got older.

But as I'm unraveling trauma, finding out our parents were neglectful and abusive (& that mom's probably a narcissist & dad's probably a narcissistic sociopath)...

Now I'm hearing a pattern.

Our brother was a loud baby. ¿Why are babies loud? To ask for help. ¿What is neglect? Not helping a kid who desperately needs it & has no one else to rely on.

Our brother was a hard working teenager (15) who rebuilt bicycles from scratch, tinkered with phones & Xboxes & scooters.....& (~16 or 17) became a hard working teenager who could not just be his own mechanic, but could rebuild parts of his engine if they failed. He was loud about his dream to build custom cars.

(He never had time for us & would even get us in trouble with our parents so he could stay safer. He's the Golden Child, we're the Scapegoat.)

Our brother was a hard working college student. He joined the “formula” team and helped build racecars from scratch for 4 years. He struggled because he's neurodivergent, but he graduated with an engineering degree and struggled through shit jobs until he could finally take a job he wanted....$110,000 a year. He could finally afford to build custom cars, to travel, to start a car business of his own...

And ¿how did our parents react?

They made fun of him for “breaking” an Xbox (I still don't know exactly how, just that he opened it up & put it back together nonfunctional at 15 years old), & STILL (he's now 24) won't let him live it down. They keep bringing it up as “proof” he'll fuck up & that his plans & passions “never work out”.

They complained that he was doing too much during college, & that he should've asked them for help more often.

I found out after the fact that he had regularly starved himself during university because his work wasn't paying enough for food AND school, and he, according to our parents, “didn't want to ask us for help 😓”. There were days all he had was one meal of ramen or oatmeal. They called it “independence” & “he's just like his mother”.

‘He's just a momma’s boy.’

(We were a papa’s boy. & we're the younger sibling; we're 22 now & he turns 24 in early March this year.)

He called every week the first year after moving out. Then every month. Then whenever he had a dream or wanted advice.

Now it's only holidays & our parents’ birthdays, & the calls are brief.

They constantly judged his dreams, his choices, his accomplishments....except for brief moments they could brag to their friends & take credit for it (on the grounds that his achievement couldn't have happened without their Fantastic™ (/sarcasm from me but they seem to believe it) parenting).

He was a loud kid who screamed and cried for help. He's now a silent adult who didn't even tell his girlfriend ANYTHING about his childhood (despite being comfortable introducing her to his family now), even that he grew up pagan and seemingly Innocent™ things.

He was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder sometime in 2019, & I suspect there's more going on.

...

And then you have us.

We were a quiet kid. We were observant and quiet. We rarely asked for help.

We were a toddler and then a little kid who questioned everything. ‘¿Why don't you like Grandpa, Mom? ¿...What does r*pe mean?’ ‘¿Why can't I play alone at the park? ¿...What’s a [female gen*tal name]?’

We were a quiet thirteen year old who never left the house due to crippling anxiety.

We were a very very loud, aggressively outspoken teenager (15+) who wrote poems about anger & violence (wanting to punch people), su*c*de, & being an outsider, & stories about abusive parents & bullying & eventual escapes to freedom. (We also maintained toxic relationships & friendships just so we weren't “alone”....looking back, it was bad. We were codependent on strangers.)

We were a very loud, outspoken adult who found the words (abuse, neglect) for our experience and screamed it into the universe (blasted posts on social media for a year).

Now that we're unraveling trauma & finding ourselves, we're “too quiet 😡” again.

We were a quiet kid, who then acted out & screamed for help, then became quiet again as we found ourselves.

We're diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, & PTSD (C-PTSD), & it was confirmed we're a multiplicity system (OSDD/DID).

...

¿Do you see where I'm going?

I wonder.

I wonder if our brother is more traumatized than he admits.

(I wonder if we can get him to talk too, but that won't even begin until we move out. We don't feel safe opening up about what happened until he can't tell them we're talking.)

But I don't think it was a personality swap.

Being loud & outspoken in public/in writing, especially (17+) while silently dissociating at home is a trauma response. Being codependent with anyone who will give you an ounce of affection (*turns to stare at our teenage self*) is a trauma response.

Being silent and never asking for help (hyperindependence) is a trauma response. Perfectionism and high achievement until you literally collapse is a trauma response.

I think it's that we're both traumatized.

(I also believe part of the difference is: (1) we definitely fall differently on the spectrum if he's autistic (we don't know & I won't rule it out; he could be, he might not be, & if he is he's high masking (high “functioning”)), & (2) we got more & more obviously mentally ill & even (15+) chronically ill from the trauma, while he became an overachiever they could parade around as a trophy. So we were affected differently.)

(/not angry at him; I'm generally monotone in my head & intend to be gentle &...I dunno, curious/inquisitive?)

~Erudite

(he/they/xey; protector, translator, soother)