#when i used periods at the ends of my sentences it means im being serious

[eyesmadeofpearls]

as a girl with autism, autism does not make you violent. there is no direct link in behavioral issues to autism. if a person who happens to have autism is violent, please don't make that situation into something it's not and go on to spew myths that will ultimately harm us by keeping us from making friends or being accepted publicly. the reason for my personal outrage when i was younger was because of personal things to do with my parents at home, not because it was fun to hear myself yell and i didn't do it just for the hell of it. 9 out of 10 times if an autistic person is angry they've got a good reason, i know me and my boyfriend (who is also autistic) are very justice centered. apparently there's a lot of people who do actually do things for the hell of it and its confusing. anyways. you get the point, if you need to understand what's wrong just ask. so many people think that they read minds or that other people can read minds and it gets obnoxious. though i don't see why you'd cause violence over someone cutting your sandwich wrong. at that point it's likely the person has something other going on too. that's called being a bad person and it isn't mutually exclusive with being autistic.

autism also isn't "silly", it's not anything. it has been a different experience for many, me personally it feels like nothing and i think that's because i was diagnosed late in life. all my life i was told i was just a weird kid, and that it was okay, so i didn't really change. and when i learned i had autism, i didn't feel any different afterwards. i think the only time its truly affected me ever was this one time at the fair with my family when it was night time and things were rowdy. i hate the word overstimulated so i guess you could say i got just upset? i began to cry and get angry with my parents, my legs hurt, mosquitos were biting me, my hair was sticking to my skin, and my head was beginning to ache from all the loud people. i lashed out at my dad because my parents wouldn't take me home so they went on to go get lemonade without me while i sat at a bench alone. in another instance when i was super young and getting ready for 1st grade i cried and whined because my socks weren't inside out and i was too upset to talk about it. the texture of the seams on socks has always made me uncomfortable.

[autogeneity]

(a) please insert appropriate qualifiers everywhere because if I do there will be more qualifiers than content.

(b) this is not necessarily things cis men do but rather things that are likely to exude man vibes on other body types.

(c) really this is going to make for a type of guy, probably the shorts and t-shirt kind — if you are seeking a refined gentleman I am Not The Guy I am not capable of being the guy etc

But here's a couple things

in general, you want to be wider, larger, more straight lines and triangles, and more intentional and self-assured

walking, posture, etc:

if you have wider hips, a narrow gait will create more sideways swaying and rotating of the hip which reads as feminine. step a little wider and translate the rotation into forward momentum. bend your knees more to absorb the force and lengthen your stride.

women generally squeeze their body together more rather than being expansive

push out your knees when sitting. feels weird and exposed for a bit and then it doesn't. hip external rotation is apparently in general a masculine trait. this also applies when standing. keep feet further apart and pointed slightly outwards.

keep your arms further away from your ribcage. try taking a deep breath into your chest such that your shoulders expand and let your elbows hang heavy when you exhale. something like that position.

notice the hip external rotation on guy without tattoos, and the substantial internal rotation on the girls. tattooed guy is what I mean about the arms. the girls' arms are hugging the body.

also, I tried to find a good picture of a female pose with arms down. I couldn't. women keep their arms up wayy more than men.

try out leaning back when sitting, maybe spread your arm over the back of the chair. you don't want to do this all the time but it is another thing that makes you expansive and feels exposed if you're not used to it. becoming less uncomfortable with that feeling makes the general thing more natural

it is honestly my unqualified opinion that these things alone get you like 60+% of the vibes if you do them confidently

clothing:

masculinity-maxxing when you don't pass will not get you "man" it will get you "butch".

men tie their pants way lower than you expect. no, even lower

straight lines, triangles, structure 👍 other people have already done this better

but also, don't underestimate watches and shoes. the fashion fuckers are unfortunately not wrong on this one

speaking etc:

as previously mentioned, slower, more measured, but also shorter bouts, more intentional pauses.

the actual male customer service voice is probably salesman voice

most things are spoken relatively matter-of-factly. women ime are more likely to say things in a way that sounds/feels expectant of a reaction (including facial expressions and so on). masc men are more likely to speak statements. consider "heyyyy" vs "hey bro." basically adding a period at the end of your sentence lmao. doesn't have to be in a deathly serious way, just a self-assured "I have said my say"

this may be related or equal to the thing of women raising pitch at the end of a sentence? forgot the word

autistics are in luck — typical eye contact among women is much more intense and sustained ime. outside of flirting or other situations where you're trying to influence someone, men don't do it that much. also, formality unless you are in a ballgown is male-coded

you can be super serious, but frequent or even near-permanent humor is really common! if you can make a dad joke for every occasion you win tbh

The Head Nod as greeting 👍

I was very autistic about masc presentation for a while (in the sense of studying people and turning subtle implicit things into explicit steps I can emulate) so there's probably a pretty effective guide I could offer. but it would perhaps be frowned upon in the vein of people being upset that there used to be advice for passing that included being very serious etc. but like imo it's information of the form "X thing seems to have Y effect". you do not have to want Y effect and there may be other ways of obtaining it even if you do. it is just descriptive

[spacedikut]

Derek would ask Spencer to explain how he feels about u to try and get him to understand that he’s in love with you but Spencer would just be like... is that not friendship?

god this idea is so fucking good but. i didn’t do it justice cause i went down a way more serious route :p 1.4k words, gn!reader

the team have been trying tirelessly to get spencer to just... see. what the rest of them see. the longing, lingering looks and requests to work together, the subtle touches that are so sweet in themselves but, with the added knowledge that spencer is Spencer, its...well, the team knows what they see. spencer is just lagging behind a little.

they try a whole plethora of methods. everyone talks to him and spencer either doesn’t connect the dots or simply says “we’re just friends!” and emily gets so frustrated she flicks spencer on the forehead and leaves a mark (i ask you picture pure, innocent spencer sat at his desk, watching emily’s retreating form with nothing but a puppy-dog confused expression and a red dent in the middle of his forehead).

penelope is at her wits end, so derek decides to step up and retry a very basic method: talking spencer through how he feels for you. surely he’s self-aware enough that he’ll hear himself and hear how un-friendlike it all sounds and... tada! love.

but it’s never quite as easy as you’ll think it’ll be, is it?

spencer should’ve known something was amiss when derek asked him if he wanted to hang out and let him choose where they would go - spencer? being allowed to choose where to hang out after work? have you ever heard of something called a red flag?

so spencer chooses a cafe which - immediately, the second they step through the doorway - spencer has a joy to him, telling derek about the last time you and him came here and what you ordered and what you thought of it and all these details that even the most attentive best friend wouldn’t think were anything more than trivial matters. he remembers the shape you tore your napkin into, for goodness sake. in what realm is that friendly behaviour?

then, to make matters worse, spencer, mid-walk to a table in the corner by a large window, abruptly changes directions, making derek almost spill his coffee. spencer apologies, then says they can’t sit in that booth cause that’s where you and spencer sit and - well. that’s your and spencer’s place, you can’t disrupt that! friends! friendly things and friends doing friendly stuff. friendship.

derek gives this scoff that spencer is so used to he barely reacts. when they sit, spencer is acutely aware that derek is staring - furrowed brows and this intense, firm gaze that only appears when he’s thinking. spencer’s only slightly intimidated. 

he’s never been able to lie to derek. he’s never been a good liar, period. he’s good at omissions and burying himself and his emotions but, god, if someone asks just the right question, he’ll fold like the cheap deckchair he truly is.

and derek... derek knows spencer better than he knows himself sometimes.

(is there anyone else that has similar qualities? no. of course not. only his best pal derek and not a colleague/very pretty person known as You)

a question. a question is all it takes.

“so, you and y/n come here a lot?”

derek’s starting light and spencer is so enthralled at the mention of you every worry he had about why he’s here with derek and why derek is looking at him like that flies out the window. 

“we do! actually, it’s the perfect meeting spot; the most convenient distance between our apartments and we both have favourite drinks here. we’ve become regulars, actually, so we make a habit of coming at least once a week at a minimum-“

and he keeps going, sweetly reminiscing about the first time you visited to the silly games you’ve created - because you’ll spend that long here, sitting opposite each other and just each other - and derek wonders how spencer doesn’t see it. doesn’t see the way he lights up at the mention of you, rambles like you’re a statistic spencer’s known for years and can’t help but bestow on everyone at every opportunity, not to mention the physical reaction he has to you. you’re not even present and spencer is wide-eyed, rosy cheeked, permanent curl to either side of his lips that looks involuntary.

he’s in love with you. his entire self, from head to toe, from mind to soul. everyone can see it, except you and him, apparently.

“they make you happy, huh?”

“well, obviously,” spencer hehs, “they’re my best friend.”

there’s an opportunity here, shyly gleaming from the corner of the conversation and derek digs it out. “you got a definition for best friend, reid?”

spencer’s taking a sip of his drink, but is happy to share his knowledge. he’s not quite as bright when he’s saying it. “a best friend has many definitions. friendship itself is usually defined as a relationship of mutual affection between people - it is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association, and has been studied in multiple academic fields-“

derek hums, encouraging him to keep going. he’ll get there.

and he does, after delving a little too far into the nature versus nurture debate.

“id consider you a best friend. jj, too. and garcia, of course. except... except with y/n it’s- it’s different.”

derek pretends to be shocked. “how’s that?”

“well... they have all the qualities id want in a friend - honesty, generosity, empathy...humour-“ spencer smiles to himself, small and intimate, remembering an inside joke between the two of you. “but they’re more than that, too. they’re there for me - not-not that you guys aren’t there for me too-“ derek just raises an eyebrow. “but...it’s different, with them. it always is.”

the shift of topic from friendship to you has spencer unfocused on his surroundings, eyes glazed over as he stares to the side of derek, who feels like he’s intruding - he rarely understands what goes on in that big head of spencer’s, vast in it’s knowledge and memories and self-perception, but right now he’s confident he does. 

it’s you. he’s thinking of you, the moments you have together - perhaps in this very cafe - that are reserved for spencer and spencer alone, a side of you derek will never know because it’s not his to know; it’s spencer’s, just as spencer is yours.

his voice is level but distant, the warning signs of that magnificent mind finding the pieces and putting them together. “i think-i think about them often. how they are, what they’re doing, if they’re thinking of me too. i know they’re only a text message away or-or, on cases, a few feet away... i guess i don’t want to seem clingy. or desperate.”

“they’d never think that. you know that, right?”

“i know. i-i know that. but-i don’t... i can’t.. i don’t want to risk losing them, i guess. one wrong move and they’ll realise what a-what a complete mess i am. ill unravel and they’ll see all the dark inside and they... they don’t deserve that.”

derek goes to interrupt, because god is spencer wrong, but he doesn’t have the chance.

“they deserve love and laughter and everything i can’t give them if they... if they get too close.” now, spencer brings himself to look derek in the eye. there’s a seriousness there, a solemn stand that spencer doesn’t often take. “i can’t lose them, morgan. i can’t.” his hands tighten around his coffee cup. “i want them here, with me, for as long as i can convince them to stay. i don’t want to be selfish, i don’t- i don’t mean to be, but. i want this. i want them. every day for the rest of my life, i want them. i choose them. im just terrified they’ll see me and... they won’t choose me.”

there’s an expected silence that befalls the two of them, the busting background noise of the cafe the only moving piece. does he get it now? does he understand what has motivated every thought and feeling? every worry and action?

“reid,” derek says, softly, in a tone that has spencer straightening his back. “that’s not... that’s not just friendship. you know that, right? you can see that?”

spencer blinks. 

no. you’re friends - close friends, yes, but friends nonetheless.

but he thinks back to what he’s just said - 

he’d say the same for jj, right? for penelope, and for derek. even gideon, perhaps.

except... no. he wouldn’t. it’s for you, he’s for you, all of it and all of him.

and then the picture is as clear as day. no fog, no obscurity, no hesitance - and spencer’s relieved. relieved that finally, finally, he can put all of his feelings into one simple sentence.

“im in love with them.”

“yeah,” derek says, leaning back against the booth. “yeah, reid, you are.”

[livmarauder]

𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 | 𝙨.𝙢

simon minter x reader (part one)

warnings: some mentions of sex but lots of fluff and some swearing requested: - notes: heyooo, this is my first imagine. hope you guys really like it hehe <3 wc: 1,427 words

part two // masterlist

when it is a dull and cold morning, the only thing i wanted to do was to roll over in my double bed and cuddle into my husbands chest for the warmth. however, when i did so, i was met with the coldness of the sheets instead.

opening my eyes slowly, i groaned to myself as i dug my head back into my pillow, suddenly remembering where i was. after shoving my face into my pillow for close to two minutes, i sat up and unplugged my phone from my nightstand seeing that i had a message.

si💕: morn y/n/n, i hope you are having an amazing time in la with freya. the guys and i just finished filming and i immediately wanted to go home and cuddle with you but then i remembered that you’re going to be in la for the next few months... anyways, i love you so so much and ill see you in a few weeks ❤

my heart warmed when i saw the message and immediately replied with a short message before i got dressed for the day.

when simon and i had met through harry, it wasn't your cliche girl meets boy and fall in love kinda thing. it was actually the complete opposite of that.

i mean, the boys still enjoy taking the piss out of our story and teasing us (causing us to flip them off all the time) but, we really really hated each other.

as soon as the boys began getting very famous and in need of a manager, harry thought it would be a good idea to call me since, one; i was in the middle of taking a business management course, two; because i was his cousin and three; because i owed him a huge favour.

meeting the boys was fine, however, spending time with them was another issue. i enjoyed the guys presence but when it came to simon, it was a big hit or miss.

he is very sarcastic, confident and very outspoken. i really admired it at first, being one of the shy ones in the lewis family. but the more i spent time with him, the more i had to resist the urge to step away from simon because at the same time, he was very immature and we would end up bickering over the smallest things when it had to do with the branding that we were creating.

he on the other hand, thought that i was a big party-pooper and was too serious all the time.

because of that, anytime i was there to just visit my cousin as well as tobi and josh, who i had become close to, i would just avoid simon and he would do the same. we would either go out to nandos, they would come over to my flat and just hangout playing games and such or on the rarest occasions, when i go over to the sidemen house, i would just stay in their room and leave as soon as i wanted to go.

one day, however, it was a really cold wintery day when harry asked me to come over for dinner. opening the door with the spare key i had, i saw that no one else was home other than the lanky one sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone, who thought i was jj. "jj mate, do you have the ice-cream?" i scoffed and replied along the lines of "fuck you, im not your maid." simon looked up to see me before rolling his eyes and was about to spout a comment back before my phone dinged.

haz🤗🙄🤍: we're snowed in, staying in a hotel for the night. stay with simon please, i don't feel comfortable with you driving home.

i visibly groaned as i looked at simon, "great... i have to stay with you for the night because harry doesn't trust me." he gave me a smirk, "i wonder why." i scoffed and flipped him off before i sat at the other end of the couch, taking out my phone and scrolling through instagram. ten minutes later, because luck wasn't on my side, the power went out, making me scream in surprise.

simon burst out laughing before i threw a pillow at him as it hit him causing him to fall backwards. he looked at me as i tried to stifle a giggle, "oh you wanna go?" pretty soon, we were running all over the house, tripping over and throwing pillows at each other. before i got tackled on the couch, "truce! truce! truce!" i sputtered out, trying to catch my breath. he laughed at me before i looked at him like for real for the first time and admired his features.

"take a picture lewis, it lasts so much longer." he whispered back to me, knocking me out of my trance as i scoffed and pushed him off me. "fuck off minter." he just continued laughing, causing a small smile to break out on my face.

that night, we really got to know each other, watching a mutual favourite tv show before we had fallen asleep next to each other on the couch causing the boys to take many photos of us as soon as they got back the next morning. 

he asked me out a week later and fast-foward five years later, he proposed to me while recreating our first date which was a pillow fight and our tv binge.

however, after our wedding, while we were on our honeymoon, i got an email from one of the newest business gigs that i had gotten into, needing me to get to la asap to settle some new things for them which would benefit the sidemen as well.

so when this came up, the fear of me being pregnant while i was on the business trip scared simon. we argued about it for a while until he somehow won the tiff and we decided that we would wait until after the business trip (which we didn’t know how long would take) that we would try to create our family.

the night before i left for the airport however, that changed. that night for me had been a total nightmare, the trip had gotten extended to a total of 5 months and the weight of not seeing simon for that long after seeing him for nearly the whole day since the day we started dating took a toll on me.

simon found me later on and we comforted each other in a way we hadn't before... it was almost inevitable.

i walked out of my room only to see that freya was in the living room of the flat that we had rented for our stay here. freya had decided to come out after the first 3 weeks of me staying here since simon couldn’t (which killed him internally). 

"morning frey." i said as soon as i saw her, she looked up from her daily instagram scroll and smiled, "morning y/n/n, how are you feeling?"

i shrugged my shoulders, "i honestly feel like shit, its such a cold morning today." she nodded in agreement, "well, since its a cold ass day, how about you go make some coffee and then we run-through all that we have to do today."

i groaned, still drowsy as i reluctantly went to the kitchen to do as she said.

as soon as the coffee smell filled my nose though, i felt sick and immediately ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out. freya came in minutes later and held my hair back. when i was done, she got me some water before rubbing my back soothingly, "my gosh y/n, are you okay, you were fine about like a minute ago." she asked me, her voice full of concern as i nodded, sipping my water.

"must've been something we ate last night frey, don't worry about it." i said, queasily. freya nodded, turning to leave but then seemed to realize something as she turned back, chewing her bottom lip.

"y/n, don't you find it odd that last week, you told me you were missing your period and just today, you puked your insides out."

i froze at that sentence, fuck no. freya saw my face pale and grabbed my free hand with both of hers, "let's just buy a test later on our way back from the meetings okay?" i managed a nod before my thoughts began to run nervously of how simon was gonna take it if i actually was pregnant.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

ok, if i don’t write this im gonna lose my mind -cue dmx ‘party up’-

here is a ridiculously detailed analysis of why i am bordering on near certainty of caryl endgame, and how everything that’s been set up from the start of s9 (yes, even c@rzekiel and d@nnie) has been leading up to this

spoilers and long-winded analysis under the cut

let’s take this step-by-step, okay? starting with:

The Titles:

i have said this about a million times now, but the very first indication of caryl came from the new opening credits, where mmb’s name was very strategically placed above the graphic of daryl’s crossbow, what’s meant to symbolize henry’s pike, and a bunch of cherokee roses. it was foreshadowing, not only of henry’s death, but also how her relationship with daryl was going to unfold, and, bear with me here, the downfall of c@rzekiel. speaking of which, let’s go there

C@rzekiel:

i have also rambled about this, too, but the way that kang designed this relationship between zeke and carol was so brilliant, because it was never supposed to be real, but you weren’t able to fully see how until the whole story was laid out before us. (which goes with my belief that kang tells stories over long, connected archs, and not just “you know what would be fun to toss in here rn for some drama?” 

carol

1. denied zeke’s proposal

2. never once told him she loved him

3. explicitly told those saviors she could have done without her ring (a line that had absolutely no need to be in there)

4. continuously rejected the title of queen

5. regularly visited daryl in the woods

6. said herself that all it was, was a fairytale. something i’ll delve into more when i talk about carol’s ptsd

but let me touch on how daryl plays into this. we know she regularly went out into the woods to be with daryl, and she did it because he was her tether back to reality. she was living a fantasy life, and knew deep down that it wasn’t real, but had to do it, for henry’s sake, and for the sake of her mental health, because at the time of the relationship, she had not remotely begun to deal with any of her grief

the first scene we get with her and zeke is directly after daryl saves zeke’s life, which is telling. and the first time we hear her talk about her feelings about zeke’s proposal she turned down it’s with daryl, and let us not forget that the script notes stated that daryl was experiencing jealousy about it. he never asked her not to, though, because he thought she was happy, and that was more important to him than her being with him. he was willing to give her up if it meant she was happy, like what kind of angst trope suffering is that?? -chefs kiss-

and we can’t forget that zeke canonically views daryl as a threat to his marriage (i mean, rightfully so). he literally tells daryl to back off his wife so that he can fix their marriage, because he knows carol is starting to go back to him

next!

flowers:

flowers have been being used as symbolism between these two across the past two seasons a bunch. flowers are in mmb’s title card. the first scene of carol/daryl in the time jump shows them seeing flowers. daryl brings carol a flower on the dinner tray. one of the upcoming episodes is “look at the flowers”. obviously the cherokee rose scene is iconic between them, and flowers to carol represent this weird dichotomy. on the one hand, they represent daryl comforting her and giving her hope, and on the other hand, they represent her downfall mentally from the grove. interesting that one of the threads throughout this current season is carol grappling between trying to stay grounded with daryl, and her losing herself to her grief

speaking of grief!

Carol’s PTSD:

people have bitched that kang is just telling carol’s same storyline all over again, to which i’m like, tf show are you watching?? here’s what kang has done. gimple dealt with carol by literally just locking her away in a house to mull over how terrible she is a person, while never once actually dealing with her grief, and then handed that over to kang as a boiling slop of diarrhea, and somehow kang managed to take that, perform alchemy, and turn it into delicious loving carol juice.

she had henry killed off to parallel sophia, yes, that’s true, but the /reason/ she did that is because she’s righting the wrongs that were done to carol by essentially rewriting her storyline the way it should have gone. carol has lost So Much. more than most, i think, and kang is like, “that would fuck someone up pretty fucking bad, i think, so let’s see her actually have to grapple with that.” kang stays true to the carol gimple created, in that her instinct is to run away (think boat), but she’s using daryl as a means of forcing her to confront her demons. the two of them, at any given time, are running away from their struggles, but daryl is finally at a place of stability, and so he’s taking carol by the hand and saying, “no. i’m not letting you do this again. you have to stay,” and carol does, because she loves him, but consequently she’s having to actually feel it (something she explicitly stated she “can’t let herself do”), and is now experiencing the consequences of it, and poor daryl is stuck trying to handle it. his entire plotline this season has revolved around trying to help carol heal her wounds so that they can finally be together the way they should have been ten years ago.

they should be together, and daryl shouldn’t be with anyone else? glad you asked, because that brings us to:

D@nnie:

i actually think that kang never meant to make daryl/connie a ship, bc nothing in season 9 really indicated anything more than a mutual respect, and part of me truly believes that she saw the reaction to the two of them, and was like, “you know what? i can work with this.”

carol is pushing daryl towards connie because she wants to take alpha down and knows she might go down with her and she needs to know daryl won’t be alone. that’s it. period. end of sentence.

but okay, let’s extrapolate. she asks him if he’s interested in connie, and daryl very, very bluntly says no. you can’t tell me that his answer was meant to be evasive. he delivered that line like straight up “no.” no room for debate about his feelings. if they wanted to leave room for doubt they would have had norman redo his delivery, because it is too obvious. he is shutting it down completely. and carol is like, “why not?” and /that’s/ when daryl gets evasive. very “don’t worry about it, why are you worrying about it, i’m not in love with you, shut up.” 

fucking kills me, guys.

now the current spoilers about carol telling daryl to get angry at her for (supposedly/probably) killing connie furthers this belief that she wants daryl to pull away from her. because he’s her tether, she loves him, and as long as he still wants her around she can’t leave. she wants him to hate her, and daryl refuses. he’s pissed as all get out about what she did, sure, but he doesn’t hate her. also, the idea that daryl going back to try and save connie and magna means he’s in love with connie is absolutely baffling. have you met daryl? his instinct is to save people at all costs. he wouldn’t leave his friends stuck in a fucking cave, are you serious? just because connie is a woman doesn’t mean daryl wants to fuck her. he’s allowed to care about his friends.

but anyway, the point here is that every “d@nnie” spoiler has been music to my ears, bc not once has it been actually shippy. that first episode with the asl book and them together? it was supposed to juxtapose zeke and carol, and how carol and daryl immediately forgot about connie and zeke in order to be with each other. every other thing with connie has either been very cute and platonic, or has been carol trying to push her on daryl. -chefs kiss- my dudes, you’re worrying about nothing

Misc bc I’m Late for Work:

here are just a handful of other indicators that caryl is on the horizon

-the dream where she dreams she’s MARRIED TO DARYL, and the scenes where she wakes up in bed and looks over and he’s not there. why set that up if the end result isn’t going to be them together in bed?

-the bracelet/the acorns and what they symbolize 

-the use of “we” (”we don’t sleep” “it was like that for us before all of this” “since when have we never been enough?” etc)

-their parallels to alpha/beta (see my other long-winded text post on that one)

-ten years worth of history between them!!! that kang understands and references (carol’s claustrophobic, look at the flowers, etc)

so anyway, i don’t have time to tie this up with a nice bow bc i really have to get to work, but this is all to say that i am very very confident about the caryl endgame. i think it’s being drawn out bc kang needs to right the wrongs done by gimple first, but that caryl is where she’s eventually headed. every spoiler has been 100% caryl positive to me. i am zen af, and i think you should be too.

i’ll add to this if i think of anything i missed, but here you go. caryl is endgame and they gon fuck

the end,

-diz   

[mychemicalraymance]

im trans + i love reading ur gerard gender posts ... do u have any interviews/articles where gerard talks about refusing to classify their gender identity , like U were talking abt in 2006?

Oh goodness I misspoke.... I guess you mean when I said "And so if gerard is a person who (purposely) wont put a single finite word onto his gender experiences in 2006 that just reads as (CALL HIM SLURS.... gay man.... period end of sentence)." I meant if gerard is a person who wont really label themself, - then the media at the height of his fame (2006) wouldnt put the work in or even consider the stuff that gerard did as gender signifiers... it would stamp GAY on his form and move along. As far as I know gerard was "on the record" as a man in 2004-14. Like he would say THIS SONG IS ABOUT THE TIME I GOT TOTALLY FUCKING PREGNANT IN THE BACK OF A GUYS CAR. and then in interviews be look oh I am just making people mad.... I love pussy and being a straight man (nervously looks at wb exec about to give the signal to the gender police sniper two floors away) (<- this is also a joke I dont know what gerards personal journey with labels would be at the time. But also I'm sure wb in 2004 would not be like yes gerard please publicly explore yr gender/sexuality in a serious way bc that will be really good press for us and were not evil). If you wanna look for some good examples of gerard speaking on gender pls look to @flockofdoves' gerard way epic gender moment compilation post! fantastic post..... that's where I got my ref for gerard saying if they said they were straight they were wrong bc they "obviously" have "issues" w g/s.

[lovely-teeztaetae]

PART ONE HERE! Close i

Originally requested by lovely reader @hongjoonshoe And requested by many lovely anons~

Enjoy!

♡ Close ♡

~angst~

“But seriously, we have to watch it together. And I literally turned down Jungmin for you guys, so now we have to go see this movie.”

“I don’t know, I have a pretty weak stomach, what do you say Y/n?”

Hearing my name immediately snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, what?” I asked shaking my head.

“We were talking about going to see The Last One tonight.” Mai said twirling her loosely curled hair.

“Oh, um, sure.” I responded with a small smile.

“You alright Y/n, what’s on your mind?” My other friend Anza asked. Just as she said that, I had another flashback of the previous week.

“Because my heart still feels that same way towards you, as it did the first day we met.” I cried, more like yelled towards Wooyoung. His eyes softened and he reached out towards me again.

Just as I turned around to leave, Hongjoong quietly knocked on the door before peeking through.

Seeing Hongjoong’s concerned face only made me cry harder as I rushed out of the door and down the stairs of their house.

I ran outside to my car, and reached down in my pocket and felt no keys, realising they probably fell in the house

“Crap, really Y/n?” I mentally cursed myself, before walking back into their house house. But the second I walked in, all I heard was yelling.

“-you know, I remember you talking about it, and I tried the hardest I could to forget it, but for you to take it this out of control?” Hongjoong spoke sternly to Wooyoung.

“I’m sorry okay?! I didn’t mean to hurt her like that, I, I-“

“Wooyoung, what did you expect?!” Hongjoong asked again.

“Why are you so upset anyway, she was my-“ I heard Wooyoung pause.”

After that, all I could hear now was silence, and with no one answering, I took this as an opportunity to get my keys that were sitting on the higher step of the stair case.

“You wanna know why Wooyoung?” Hongjoong asked.

“You brought Y/n around so much, that I started to develop my own feelings towards her, and now because of you, she’s not gonna be around.” I froze at Hongjoong’s words.

Hongjoong having feelings for, me?

How did I never notice, was I that blind?

I mean, I never really looked at Hongjoong like that, but even I’ll admit, what’s not to like?

Hongjoong is handsome, respectful, a hard worker. And overall everything a person could ever want in a guy.

It’s just that, I’d never get that rapid beating in my heart when I was around him, at least, not like I did for Wooyoung.

After that, I quickly walked up the few steps and grabbed my keys.

Before I left this time, I made sure to lock their door, so that I wasn’t tempted to walk back through it again.

“Earth to Y/n/n.” Mai exclaimed, and once again my daydreaming came to an end.

“Um, yea, yea sorry, I want to go see it too.” I said with a smile, this time a more genuine one.

“Alright well, we can talk about it after our classes, it’s almost 2:30.” Anza pointed out as her and our other friend Lyn stood up.

“We’ll talk to you guys after class.” Lyn said with a small smile, and the two left Mai and I alone.

“Well, class is gonna start soon, maybe we should head on-“ I stopped mid sentence when I looked over and saw Mai starring at me.

I confusingly looked behind me to see if she was starring at something in the distance, but all there was were other campus kids finishing their break period.

“Uh, are you alright Mai?” I asked waving my hand in her face. Her gaze only softened a little and she began to talk.

“Yea, Im just trying to read your thoughts, you’ve been acting funny.” She said quietly, tapping her long painted nails across her cheek.

“I know I have a pretty good sense of humor.” I said with a wacky smile. Mai rolled her eyes with a small laugh.

“Not like that Y/n.”

“I-“ I didn’t really even have anything to say. I knew I was acting different. The person that I used to talk to more than my own sibling, didn’t really ever want anything to do with me. Besides use me for the good things that came along the way, like Aura.

“Mai come on, class is starting.” I said for the last time, grabbing all of my books and heading towards the crowded entrance.

“Wait up Y/n!”

~

���Alright everyone, make sure to study this week, next weeks test shouldn’t be that challenging if you take the time to look everything over.” Every student began to stuff their things into their bags, ready to go home for the week.

I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way out the door, and was quickly met my Mai who was already at the entrance.

“You ready for The Last One?” She asked in a mockingly spooky voice, running her fingers up my arm earning a chill from me.

“Yea, I forgot about that.” I chuckled.

“Oh, also, Jungmin wanted to know if he could bring a couple friends?” She said shyly.

My eyes squinted in confusion.

“I don’t recall him coming in the first place.”

“Well, I just felt super super bad and told him he could join us if he wanted to, I’m sorry!” She said in a dramatic tone. I only rolled my eyes playfully in response.

“I’m fine with it as long as everyone else is.” I responded with a small smile.

~

The four of us began to walk to the theatres entrance, and I was beginning to get excited at the thought of doing something other than being cooped up in my dorm, alone.

After that night, I got home and Aura still wasn’t back. And so I took all of her clothes and gathered them together, along with all of her extra belongings.

“Y/n what are you doing?!” She asked just like Wooyoung did. I kept moving her stuff and began to get even more upset.

“This is my dorm Aura, that I’m paying for, alone!” I stated, while she was trying to put all of her things back.

“So you thought I wasnt gonna find out?”

“What are you-“

“Don’t play stupid Aura, Wooyoung tried the same thing.” My heart wrenched after saying their names together, and the sudden burst of sadness made me even more determined to have her out by tonight.

“Y/n it was nothing serious.” She said in a calm voice. I stopped what I was doing and began to think. It’s nothing to her, while I’m carrying a heavy weight on my heart.

“Aura, Wooyoung is waiting for you at his house. And I don’t recon I have to tell you the address, you probably know it by heart.” I cried while sitting on my bed.

Aura’s eyes softened as she made her way towards me.

“Y/n-“

“I don’t care Aura, just get your stuff and go to him.” My words came out much shakier than intended.

I sat looking down as I heard swift shuffling all throughout the small dorm room, and soon enough the sound of a door closing.

“Guys look!” My eyes quickly snapped towards the direction Mai was pointing in, and there I saw Jungmin alongside Yeosang, San, and a couple other guys I didn’t know.

I knew that Yeosang and San were friends with Wooyoung, but I never really talked to them, and so I was hoping they didn’t recognise me.

“Hey girls.” Yeosang smiled in our direction, causing all of his other friends to look as well.

He began to give everyone hugs, and when it came to my turn, I tensed up a bit at the awkwardness. Wasn’t this guy super shy?

“Don’t worry about the tickets either, we already paid.” He said smiling down at me, to which I returned with a dorkish one.

“And the movies also gonna start in like 5 minutes.” San said while checking his phone and showing us the time that read 11:23 p.m.

“Alright everyone, lets head on in.” One of Yeosang’s friends yelled said as he came walking in our direction with popcorn candies and soda.

We all started walking towards the entrance when Jungmin spoke aloud.

“Oh yea, our friends in the bathroom so, could someone wait for him so he knows which auditorium we’re going in?” He said with pleading eyes. I wasn’t in the biggest rush and agreed.

“I’ll wait.”

“Why not let one of the guys wait-“

I cut San off before he could finish his statement. My heart fluttering slightly as he seemed like a gentleman.

“It’s alright San, I want to wait.” I responded with a smile. He smiled back before responding.

“Alright, remember it’s auditorium 5, thanks.” He nodded my way before catching up with the already gone group of kids.

I sat leaning against the wall, focusing on all of the abstract designs on the wall, and stopping when I reached one couple.

My shoulders slumped as I saw them talking sheepishly to eachother, and I recognised the two of them as Wooyoung and Aura.

I frowned and began to play with my feet.

“Don’t worry, it’s better that way.”

I jumped in surprise at the voice from behind me and saw Hongjoong by my side watching the ‘couple’ as well.

“Hongjoong?” I spoke with a bewildered look on my face. He looked at me and smiled.

“Hey Y/n, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wasn’t expecting you to be there.” He laughed.

“Oh well, are you perhaps here with Jungmin?” I asked raising my brow.

“Yea, why, are you seeing The Last One too?” He asked excitedly, making his way down the long hall. I followed close behind.

“Uh yea, our friends all came together in a group.” I said with a small smile, catching up to him.

Hongjoong looked from my shy gaze to his feet.

“Hey Y/n, I’m really really sorry about what happened.” He said playing with the ring in his finger. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Hongjoong do not be sorry, it wasn’t you’re fault-“

“But I knew about it, and you ended up getting hurt in the end Y/n.” He said in a more stern voice. I looked at him with a sad gaze.

“Hongjoong.” I started, grabbing onto his shoulders and stopping him from going further.

“He’s your best friend, you shouldn’t feel bad for not ratting him out.”

He looked into my eyes looking for any false hope, but only found sincerity.

“I just, can’t help but feel bad, I’m sorry.” He said with cloudy eyes.

“You know what Hongjoong?” I asked sternly. He looked at me with wide eyes, surprised by my now loud daminor.

“We’re going to go in there with our friends, enjoy that rip off scary movie, and stuff our faces with candy and soda.” I said loudly, grabbing his hand and rushing towards the auditorium as I heard the scary music begin to play.

I heard him chuckle from behind me, and it already made me feel better.

~

“That’s the creepiest movie I’ve seen in a while.” San stayed louldly to the group.

“It was pretty creepy, and I can tell you definitely got a good scare out of it.” Lyn said pointing towards San’s hoodie that had soda splashed on it from a jump scare.

He playfully rolled his eyes as the whole group of kids laughed at him.

“I enjoyed it, what about you two?” Anza asked looking back at us two walking further behind.

“I liked it, and by the look on Hongjoong’s face half the time I’m pretty sure he enjoyed it too.” I laughed, looking up at his still shocked face.

“I just can’t believe it ended like that.” He said shaking his head.

I looked up at Hongjoong and got reminded of what I heard him say the other week, and for some reason, it gave me a boost of confidence for my next statement.

“Maybe next time we could watch a comedy movie, that way you won’t be hanging on me everytime there’s a creaky noise in the movie.” I joked.

Hongjoong stopped walking and his eyes looked at me with a twinkle in them.

“Like, a date?” He asked bewildered.

I smiled in return.

“Yea, ya know, just a little get together. We could catch up.”

“Well in that case I’d be up to watch anything you want.” He blushed.

We all were mere feet from the doors before Anza stopped in her tracks, turning to face everyone.

“I need to use the bathroom.” She said handing Mai her purse and trotting over to the ladies room outside of the theatre.

“You know, I’m gonna go on ahead and go too before we leave, but wait here, I wanna walk you out.” He said holding a finger up.

I laughed before nodding my head.

“I’ll be waiting in the same place.” I said leaning up against the wall and opening my phone, reading the time that said 1:21 a.m.

I was scrolling through my phone when I got a message from Mai. I opened it and immediately burst into laughter, seeing as it was a video of San seconds before he spilled his drink.

I heard Hongjoong coming back out and kept the video opened, ready to show him.

“You thought you were scared? Look at San’s face-“ I froze and my eyes slowly widened.

Hongjoong wasn’t standing in front of me, instead there stood,

Jung Wooyoung...

Part iii maybe? 👀

Let me know what you think!

[sparklydreamies]

Best Shot ~Ch 3

Group: Stray Kids

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 7900+

Summary: Han Jisung, certified quiet boy, has never really understood the hype about love and romance. That is until he has to step out of his comfort zone and onto the basketball court to impress that one person he can’t stop thinking about.

Main themes: highschool!AU, basketball!AU, internalized homophobia, friends-to-lovers

a/n: So much for this fic just being skz, I’m now making it skz featuring the whole JYP family lmao,, I’m so happy about this chapter, the story is finally kicking off ;) Y’all can expect a lot of internalized homophobia because who doesn’t experience that... anyways, thank you guys for taking the time to read this, I’m sorry it took so long, but I am very proud of this chapter!! :))

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 3

Jisung often found it a little bit difficult to fall asleep, but for some reason, it was getting harder and harder. Countless nights that he should have spent in deep sleep were spent scrolling through Twitter and Youtube, simply because it was so hard for Jisung to find a way to shut his brain off. He didn’t know why he found his brain racing during the nighttime. He tried giving up the coffee that he normally drinks in the morning, but all that did was make him doze off during class. 

Not being able to fall asleep every single night causes a certain type of hopeless frustration in someone. Jisung felt himself getting more and more irritated with every passing day of not sleeping nearly enough for a teenage boy. 

Jisung had dozed off during his classes multiple times within the week that he couldn’t fall asleep. He often would find his eyelids getting heavier during important lectures and lessons. He couldn’t help it. 

Jisung’s class was given biology work to complete on their own one day, however Jisung found himself blacking out for seconds at a time. He kept telling himself in his head to wake up, slap yourself, open your eyes, do your work, but it was to no avail. He just kept drifting, and drifting, and drifting...

“Jisung?” Jisung snapped his head upright to the sound of his teacher, Mr. Kim’s voice. “Is everything alright?”

Jisung rubbed his eyes a little bit before straightening himself up in his chair. “Yeah, of course it is,” he said, picking up his pencil, “why?”

“Well,” Mr Kim started, “I’ve been noticing that you’ve been sort of... distant these past few days, I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” 

Jisung nodded his head, “yeah I’m okay, I’ve just been having a bit of trouble sleeping is all,” 

Mr. Kim nodded his head. Jisung figured he understood that since he teaches all sorts of students in higher grades and levels. Jisung thought that almost none of them have good sleeping schedules. 

“Jisung, why don’t you take the rest of the class period to just lay down in the nurse’s office?” Mr. Kim suggested, and judging by the fact that the man was completely blurry to him, Jisung figured it was a half decent idea. That was one of the things Jisung loved about Mr. Kim. One could tell that he really cared about the students that sat in his classroom. Not like most teachers that would just scold Jisung for not sleeping when he should.

So, that is how he ended up on his way down to the school nurse’s office, dragging himself down the slightly dingy and empty hallways of his school. 

The nurse, Mrs. Lee was a nice lady. Jisung had only seen her once before, and that was when he fainted after doing suicides in gym class during his freshman year. 

Mrs. Lee was kind enough to let Jisung rest for a minute on the cot that was in the side room of her office. It was lumpy and uncomfortable, but since Jisung was practically turning into a nocturnal animal, he found it was like sleeping on a cloud. 

Jisung dozed off to the sound of Mrs. Lee scratching something down on her notepad and making quiet phone calls. 

He was woken up about half an hour later by the bell, indicating that it was lunch hour. He had half a mind to stay there and sleep some more since he was so comfortable, but he knew that Felix and Seungmin would be waiting for him. So, with heavy limbs, Jisung rose from the bed, thanked Mrs. Kim, and made his way into the crowded hallways towards his locker. 

“Jisung!” Jisung heard his name being shouted from behind him, and when he turned around, he was greeted with the bright, smiling face of Hwang Hyunjin. Jisung waited for Hyunjin to catch up to him before he continued walking to his locker. “Hey, what’s going on?” 

Jisung shrugged and chuckled a bit at him. “Nothing really, how about you?” 

“Same,” Hyunjin said. The two boys turned down the hallway where Jisung’s locker was. “You look rough today,” he said.

Jisung scoffed at him, “I look rough everyday,” he countered, giving a small giggle.

Hyunjin shoved Jisung a little bit, “you’re not supposed to agree with me,” they arrived at Jisung’s locker, and he began typing in the code to unlock it.

“Hyunjin, you look rough everyday, I just wanted to fit in with you,” Jisung mocked.

“That’s better,” the boys laughed at each other’s childish ways. Jisung thought about how it seemed like they never even had a falling out. “By the way Jisung,” Hyunjin continued, “my mom was really happy when I told her we started talking again,”

Jisung cooed at him, “you talk about me to your mom? That’s so cute,” he teased. 

“Hey, just be glad I didn’t tell her why we started talking again,” he warned. Jisung put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. Jisung really didn’t want the other boy’s mother to know that he had to get driven home from a party, blackout drunk. “Anyways, I wanted to talk to you because she wanted me to invite you guys over for dinner tonight. Are you free?” Hyunjin asked. 

“I mean my dad’s working, but yeah I think we’re free,” Jisung answered. Hyunjin gave him a smile. Jisung had missed Hyunjin’s smile. 

“Great!” he said, clapping his hands together, “I’ll see you guys at eight?” Jisung nodded his head. 

Just then, Jisung heard somebody calling Hyunjin’s name. Jisung looked over to see it was Bang Chan and Seo Changbin. They were both wearing the same red varsity jackets that Hyunjin was also wearing. 

“Hyunjin, you coming?” they called, and Hyunjin yelled a yes back to them. 

“Do you want to come get some lunch with us?” Hyunjin offered, pointing over to where his friends were standing. 

Jisung shook his head, “nah, Felix and Seungmin are probably wondering where I am,” Hyunjin nodded in understanding, “thanks though, maybe another time,” 

“Sure,” Hyunjin agreed, walking backwards towards his friends, “see you tonight!” 

Jisung gave him a little wave of his own. Not only were Felix and Seungmin waiting for him, but Jisung also was hesitant to go because he felt very awkward around most of the basketball team. To him, it was like social class distance. Of course he didn’t feel weird with Hyunjin or Minho now, but the thought of being an outcast in a social situation with boys like Chan, Changbin, Jeongin or any of the other members of the team made him feel nauseous. 

Jisung made his way to the table in the cafeteria where he, Felix and Seungmin always sat. He could see from a distance that the two boys were already there, and obviously in deep conversation. 

When Jisung got into earshot, he heard Seungmin say “Bullshit, Felix,”

“Dude no, I’m being serious!” Felix argued, leaning so far over the table that his chest was close to touching the questionably clean surface. 

“What’s happening?” Jisung asked as he sat down next to Seungmin. 

“Felix apparently got a date with Kim Dahyun,” Seungmin said, shrugging. “I’m calling bullshit,”

“It’s not bullshit!” Felix groaned, “okay so Jisung, picture this,” Felix started, “we’re in first period, right? History. Teacher pairs kids up for a critical thinking activity, and who am I paired with? Oh yeah, Kim Dahyun,” Felix said, emphasizing her name and staring intensely at Seungmin who is trying hard to keep a straight face. 

“So we’re working hard, right? And close to the end of class I tell her that I know this really nice ice cream parlor that’s run by my cousin, and I ask her if she wanted to go with me sometime, and she actually fucking says yes,” he finishes, hitting Seungmin in the side of the arm.

“Felix, Dahyun is a pretty, smart, funny girl, why the hell would she want to go out with you?” Seungmin argued, breaking into a smile closer to the end of the sentence. 

“Because I’m fucking whimsical, that’s why.” Felix answered. 

“If there’s anything I know, it’s that Felix is whimsical as hell,” Jisung agreed. Felix slammed his hand down on the table. 

“See?” he asked Seungmin. 

“Alright fine,” Seungmin gave up, “I guess I just don’t like the fact that Felix got an actual human girl to go out with him before I did, and he didn’t even have to use force,” Jisung laughed at him. Seungmin let out a yelp, “Felix stop goddamn kicking me!” he groaned, lowering himself to rub at his shin. 

“Anyways, Dahyun also told me something very interesting,” Felix said, wiggling his eyebrows at Jisung. 

Jisung waited a beat of awkward eyebrow dancing before asking “what is it, Felix?”

“She told me that her friend, Im Nayeon, got a little bit friendly with one of my good friends, Han Jisung,” he teased. Jisung felt himself blush at the comment. “Oh my god, you’re all red! How come you didn’t tell us?” Felix whined.

Seungmin turned himself a full ninety degrees and faced Jisung. “What the hell, you made out with Im Nayeon? I had a class with her last year!” he said, hitting Jisung in the chest. 

Jisung felt flustered at all of the commotion about this. He never even thought about telling them he kissed Nayeon, he was more focused on the whole situation with Minho and Hyunjin. 

“I didn’t know it was that big of a deal,” Jisung said, trying to shield himself away from Seungmin’s fists. 

“Not that big of a deal?” Felix accused. 

Jisung found it so confusing that Felix and Seungmin were this worked up about it. Jisung hadn’t even thought about the kiss since it happened. Maybe he was just too distracted to let it sink in that he made out with a girl. 

“I’m so disappointed in you,” Seungmin laughed at him. Jisung rolled his eyes. 

The bell to end lunch rang throughout the school, and the boys began to pack their things up. 

“We are not done talking about this,” Felix warned, wagging a small finger at Jisung. 

Jisung sighed. He knew they weren’t.

----

That night, Jisung told his family about what happened with Hyunjin and how they were invited for dinner. Jisung’s mom was very happy that Jisung made up with Hyunjin. She said she was happy that he was being more social, but Jisung knew she was just happy to have a charming and handsome boy like Hyunjin back in her life to fawn over. 

Chaeryeong on the other hand stared at Jisung dumbfounded for a second before racing up the stairs to get herself ready. 

“You know that it’s just casual, right?” Jisung yelled after her. 

She answered back a quick “doesn’t matter!” before closing her door on him. 

Jisung decided to shower and get changed before going over to Hyunjin’s place. He wanted to make a good impression on Hyunjin’s family again, since they haven’t really had a conversation together since Jisung and Hyunjin were freshmen. 

When 8:00 came, Jisung called out to his family members that it was time to leave. The walk over to Hyunjin’s house was filled with Jisung’s mom talking about how nice it would be to see Hyunjin again, and how she’d seen him around the town and he looked even more handsome than she remembered. Chaeryeong was agreeing with everything his mother said, especially with the part about Hyunjin being handsome. 

Hyunjin’s parents were just as welcoming as Jisung remembered them to be. Jisung had always thought of the Hwangs as his second family, and once he arrived, he felt the same level of comfort that he had always experienced when he was a kid. 

Before dinner, Hyunjin led Jisung and Chaeryeong into the living room while their parents talked and drank wine in the kitchen. Much like with Hyunjin’s car, Jisung could easily tell the Hwang family’s wealth from the way they decorate their house. The living room was spacious, with a large TV and a very modern design. Jisung enjoyed being over at the Hwangs. 

“So Chaeryeong, how’s your first year of high school?” Hyunjin asked once they got settled, and Chaeryeong gave him a massive smile. 

“Oh, it’s great,” she said, “I’m really happy that you two made up, I missed coming over here,” Chaeryeong said, and Hyunjin rubbed his neck awkwardly, looking at Jisung.

“Actually Chaeryeong, it’s not that we had a fight or anything, we technically didn’t make up...” Hyunjin trailed off, looking to Jisung for help explaining the situation. 

“Yeah, it was more like we just sort of drifted apart,” Jisung supplied. Chaeryeong nodded her head in understanding. 

“Do you guys want to go outside?” Hyunjin offered, changing the subject, “it’s boring in here,” 

Jisung and Chaeryeong agreed to going outside. The house was stuffy and warm, and it was such a nice night out anyways. 

When they got out into the backyard, Chaeryeong ran over to where she saw Hyunjin’s basketball and basketball hoop. She excitedly picked up the ball. “Hyunjin, you’re so good at basketball,” she complimented. Jisung rolled his eyes at her. “Can you teach me to shoot?” she asked, and Hyunjin smiled and agreed. 

She threw him the ball and he dribbled it on the cement of his backyard three times before raising it, bending his knees and shooting the ball straight into the hoop. Chaeryeong clapped for him. 

“You see, it’s all about balance and aim,” he said, chasing after the ball to show Chaeryeong. “Try this,” he said, and gave her the ball. He explained to her how she should stand, and how she should hold the ball. 

Jisung thought it looked like a scene out of a drama. If he was right, this would be the moment they would lock eyes and fall in love. However, in real life, the boy would let go of her hands and let her try and shoot, which Hyunjin did.

Chaeryeong released the ball, and it flew through the air, hitting the backboard of the net. It bounced back down to the ground and over to where Hyunjin was standing.

“That was really good!” He praised, “you have good aim, you just need to work on your form. There’s a certain technique that you learn over time that helps the ball get into the net instead of just hitting the backboard”.

Chaeryoung agreed with him, and tried again, this time hitting the rim of the net. She was closer this time, but still unsuccessful. 

“Jisung, why don’t you try?” Hyunjin offered, passing the ball to Jisung. 

Jisung took the ball, but was sort of hesitant to try. Jisung was not necessarily a sporty kid, and he knew he would look stupid if he didn’t even hit the backboard. 

“Come on, try it,” Hyunjin coaxed, and Jisung finally agreed to try. “You heard what I told Chaeryeong, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jisung answered, and Hyunjin told him how to stand properly. 

“Now for your hands,” Hyunjin moved Jisung’s hands so that one was supporting behind and one was supporting the side of the ball. “Perfect, that looks really good, Jisung” 

Hyunjin backed away from Jisung enough to give the boy room to shoot the ball. Jisung concentrated on watching the net, bent his knees, and jumped while releasing the ball like he saw Hyunjin do earlier. 

The ball floated through the air, hit the side of the rim, and bounced into the net. 

“You got it!” Hyunjin praised, patting Jisung in the back with the stupidest grin on his face. Jisung was also smiling. He may not be good at sports usually, but it was nice to feel like he was sometimes. 

“How the hell did Jisung do better than me?” Chaeryeong teased, jogging to go grab the ball from where it fell. 

“Hey you shoot like that, you might as well join the team,” Hyunjin joked, shaking Jisung’s shoulders. 

“Kids, dinner’s on the table!” Jisung heard Hyunjin’s mother yell from the window. Hyunjin yelled back a confirmation, and they began to head inside.

“You know Jisung,” Hyunjin started, “I’m not actually joking about you joining the team,”

Jisung choked on air. “You think that I could join the basketball team?” Jisung laughed at him. “Did you hit your head?”.

How on earth could Jisung play basketball? That shot was obviously beginners luck, he had no actual skill, he barely knew how to play the game.

“I’m serious! Dowoon is out for the rest of the season because he broke his leg, so there’s an open spot,” Hyunjin explained.

“Jesus, a guy from your team is out because he’s injured, and you think that would make me want to join?” Jisung said, disbelievingly. 

“It was an unrelated injury,” Jisung rolled his eyes, “I’m not kidding, it’s too late to have tryouts, and we need numbers to win the championship this year,” 

“Hyunjin, you realize I don’t know anything about basketball?” Jisung leaned against the side of the house and crossed his arms over his chest. “Besides, why do you want me instead of somebody else at school that might actually know how to dribble a ball properly?”

Hyunjin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, you don’t have to, but I want to be able to spend more time with you now that we’re friends again,” he said, “I can help you- sort of train you if you want, and I already know Minho’s going to like having you on the team,”

Jisung thought about it. For some reason, Jisung wanted to be closer to Minho. He wanted to be Minho’s friend. He also agreed with Hyunjin; he wanted to do more things together. Basketball didn’t seem like that difficult of a sport, you just had to get the ball into the net, how hard could it be? 

“Plus,” Hyunjin continued after a beat, “you don’t even really have to play that much, we really just need another body on our bench,”

Jisung couldn’t believe he was considering playing basketball. He saw the way Hyunjin’s eyes lit up when he was talking about the two of them on the team together. Jisung could see that he was happy. 

“Oh damnit,” Jisung sighed at Hyunjin, “I’ll consider it,” 

“Really?” Hyunjin asked. Jisung saw that his eyes were sparkly and bright. Jisung thought it almost gave Hyunjin an innocent glow. The positivity radiating off of Hyunjin made Jisung smile. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, “Now let’s go eat, I’m hungry,”

----

That night was the first time in a week that Jisung was able to sleep for more than two hours. 

Jisung didn’t know what changed, or why he suddenly was able to shut his brain off, but he was thankful he could. He figured that with Hyunjin trying to get him to join the basketball team it would be harder to sleep, but if anything, that night was the deepest he’s slept in weeks. Maybe it was the fact that Jisung’s brain wanted to fuck him up all week, only to give him the proper rest that he needs on the Friday night, when he knows he won’t be doing anything important on the Saturday.

Jisung knew what Felix and Seungmin would say if he asked them. They would want him to join the team. Not for the thrill of playing basketball, but for the popularity and the girls. All of them knew that the boys on the basketball team could get whatever girl they wanted, but Jisung didn’t want that sort of power. 

He knew what Chaeryeong would say. She would want him to join the team so that she could be known as the girl who’s brother is on the varsity boys basketball team.

He also knew that his mother would be against it. She knows what those basketball boys do. She still vividly remembers her son coming home at three in the morning, blackout drunk. She wouldn’t want that type of lifestyle to determine her son’s future. 

Oddly enough, the fact that his mom would want him not to is what makes Jisung want to join the team the most.

And of course, he knew what joining the team would mean to Hyunjin. Quite frankly, Jisung was touched that Hyunjin would want to spend more time with him so much that he would take it upon himself to teach Jisung how to play an entire sport. Not only just to teach him, but to make him good enough that their team has a chance at winning the championship again, even if he only played a few times all season.

Jisung knew how much this championship meant to Minho, thanks to their conversation the week prior. Jisung smiled while he thought back to that day. He liked the feeling of talking to Minho. He was kind, and he was sweet, and Jisung could tell that he wasn’t the same person that people believed through their little stereotypes. 

It sounded really weird and strange to Jisung, but all he wanted to do was to get closer to Minho. 

Jisung knew that there was no harm in at least trying to fit in with the team. Right?

----

Jisung was torn. On one hand, he didn’t know a single thing about basketball, and he was so afraid to make a fool out of himself and the team if he joined. But on the other hand, he wanted the opportunity to spend more time with Hyunjin and Minho. It was a dilemma. 

The last thing Jisung wanted was to take his focus away from studying. Jisung had always lived by the idea that nothing was more important than school. He had wanted to do a lot of things over the years, but he had never really had the motivation to try. He didn’t want to go through his life without experiencing things, because he was deathly afraid of waking up in ten years to realize that his life had no value. Maybe basketball could help with that. 

Jisung had always been told that the friendships, experiences and memories that were essential to a teenage life could be created by putting yourself out there, taking risks, getting involved and trying new things, but he had never bothered. Maybe he was always just satisfied with his friendships with Felix and Seungmin that he didn’t feel the need to try new things. 

Jisung thought about why he was so hung up on it. Part of him wondered if it was because he was worried that he was missing out on the amazing teenage life that he had always expected growing up. Thinking about it, most of the cheesy high school movies he used to watch glorified the athletes and social butterflies, and called the people that don’t have a lot of friends and don’t belong to clubs the “social outcasts”. 

Minho was a social butterfly. He had girls lined up down the block for him. He never went a weekend without doing something fun. Even though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why, Jisung wanted to be his friend. He wanted to make Minho laugh. Minho was such a desirable friend. 

Jisung thought that Minho was mysterious. Like there were layers to him that nobody could understand. The image that Jisung got about Minho a few weeks ago was so different from the image he got after the party, and then again after they had that conversation after school. Jisung wanted to tear down those fake images he gets about Minho. He wanted Minho to trust him. 

Jisung snapped out of those thoughts. He still had a dilemma. Should he join the basketball team? 

Life is full of risks and opportunities that you sometimes just have to take. 

Jisung sent Hyunjin a text. 

Me: If the offer is still up, I think I’d like to join the team

Me: THAT IS, if you’ll be willing to coach me :))

----

Of course, Hyunjin was ecstatic that Jisung agreed to join the team. The boys agreed to meet up every Tuesday and Saturday, which staggered nicely with the team’s official practices. 

When Jisung told Felix and Seungmin during lunch on the following Monday, they were Hyunjin’s ecstatic times one thousand. 

“You joined the basketball team?” Felix shouted in the middle of the cafeteria, causing a number of heads to turn in confusion. Jisung hid his face in his hands. 

“Yes,” was his small response, “but I’m not really going to be playing that much, so don’t get too excited,” 

Felix scoffed at him. He was grinning from ear to ear, beaming with the new found possibilities of what having a friend on the basketball team could be. “I don’t care if you play one game all season, you are going to be on the basketball team!”

Seungmin pinched Jisung in the arm. “Maybe once you get that nice ass varsity jacket, you can properly ask out Nayeon,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously at Jisung. 

The latter choked on his lunch, “why do you assume I want to ask out Nayeon?” he asked.

Felix gave Jisung a look that was basically asking if he was the dumbest person ever, “because you sucked her face and last time I checked, you don’t have a girlfriend,” 

“That’s because I don’t want a girlfriend,” Jisung countered.

“That’s because you can’t get a girlfriend,” Seungmin teased, laughing and giving Felix a high five. Jisung just rolled his eyes. 

If there’s anything Jisung knew, it was that he could get a date solely based off his looks. He has always been asked out and adored by girls at their school, but no matter how much they tried to get his attention, it wouldn’t make him want a girlfriend any more than he already does. 

“Speaking of girlfriends,” Felix said, “I have my date with Dahyun on Friday,” 

Seungmin laughed as he ate. “Don’t screw it up,” he warned. 

As Felix was cursing out Seungmin, Jisung thought about how happy it makes him that somebody is appreciating Felix. 

The bell rang some time after that, and the boys left to get to class. 

Jisung spent the entire rest of the day worrying about what was to come after school. Hyunjin told him that he should come by and join the team for their practice after school, where Minho will hopefully agree to let Jisung join the team. 

Jisung was terrified, to say the least. He didn’t have any time to learn the basics with Hyunjin, he only knew general rules from elementary school gym classes. Now he’s kicking himself for not taking those pointless classes seriously.

When the bell rang after last period, Jisung felt a spike of anxiety. Thankfully, he had his last period class with Hyunjin, which meant he didn’t have to make his way to the gym change rooms himself. 

“Are you ready?” Hyunjin asked, packing up the last of his notes and shoving them messily into his school bag. 

Jisung was anything but ready. “Yeah,” he answered, feigning confidence. Hyunjin gave him a wide smile, and led him out the door. 

“Nervous?” Hyunjin asked over the sound of the crowded halls. 

“A little bit,” Jisung answered. Jisung grabbed onto Hyunjin’s backpack, trying to stay close to him while they walked through the school’s main hallway. It didn’t help that the walls were lined with lockers, all with students opening and loitering by them. 

“Don’t be,” Hyunjin said, once they turned down the gym hallway. “Remember one thing,” he commented as they walked down the less populated hallway, “these boys won’t bite. They aren’t here to try and push you down, I’ve talked you up really nicely, and I think they are all looking forward to you joining the team,” 

Jisung smiled at him. One of his biggest fears was that these boys would think he was a joke. Hyunjin had a nice way of making him feel calmer. Safer.

“Plus, Minho’s the only one who can make the final decision about whether or not you join, and he’s very non-judgmental,” Hyunjin added on as they arrived at a heavy door marked Changing Room 3.

Hyunjin swung open the door without a second thought, and Jisung followed him in, feeling the wave of anxiety freeze his blood and sink his stomach. 

The wooden bench along the walls of the change room were littered with boys that Jisung had seen around school often. They were all talking while stripping off their school uniforms, and replacing them with the usual basketball uniform. Jisung was surprised to find that nobody even batted an eye at the sight of a strange, skinny, new kid invading their changing space. 

Hyunjin nonchalantly took a seat in the back corner, beckoning for Jisung to follow him. Jisung took the cue, and dodged around the backpacks left on the floor to get to Hyunjin. 

"So we just,” Jisung paused, glancing quickly around the room of teenage boys, “get dressed here? In front of everyone?” he asked quietly, trying to avoid the attention of the unfamiliar boys. 

Hyunjin gave him a chuckle. “Yeah, unless you want to change in the hallway,” he answered. 

The thought of getting changed in front of these boys made Jisung blush. He took Hyunjin’s lead, and slowly tried to wiggle all of his clothes off, so he could change into the set of workout clothes he brought from home. 

“So, what do you think we’ll have to do today?”  Jisung asked Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin took a second to pull his shirt off of his head before answering “Minho is the one who runs the practices. He knows that you are coming though, so I told him not to make it too complicated today,” 

Jisung sighed in relief as he finished getting dressed by tying his running shoes. “You know Hyunjin, I am not even interested in playing that much, I really just want to be... a benchwarmer,” Jisung said. 

Hyunjin gave a little bit of a laugh. “I told him to make it simple for today, but after you begin your training with coach Hwang, I told him you’ll be improving and ready to play in no time,” 

Jisung was shocked at the other boy. “You told him what? Hyunjin, I told you that I didn’t want to really play, I just want to be a spare,”

“And you won’t really play! At least not until you develop the skills,”

Jisung was about to argue back when suddenly, the door to the changeroom swung open, and Jisung saw Lee Minho calling the team into the gym. 

“We’ll talk later,” Hyunjin promised, standing up to leave with the rest of the boys. 

Jisung hurried to catch up with him, “I thought we agreed I won’t be playing a lot! Hyunjin don’t undermine me,” he warned, following a giggling Hyunjin through the double doors and into the gym. 

All of the other boys began doing various warm-ups, stretching their muscles, and setting up the stands of basketballs. Jisung felt very out of place with them, but that was nothing unexpected. He suddenly got the thought that he didn’t belong there. He didn’t even know how to warm himself up.

He turned towards Hyunjin for reassurance, who just smiled and led him to one side of the court, where Chan and Changbin were talking amongst themselves. 

“Hey guys,” Hyunjin called, walking over to the two other boys. Hyunjin looked like he was calm and collected, whereas Jisung felt like his whole body was on fire. 

“I see you brought Dowoon’s replacement with you,” Bang Chan said, nodding at Jisung and smiling. Jisung calmed down slightly and felt the tension inside him ease when he realized Chan was joking around with him. 

Jisung gave a small, awkward wave and mumbled a small greeting. 

The four of them began talking a little bit about Jisung, filling him in on what usually happens during these practices. From what Jisung gathers, practices usually consist of a cardio warm up, a few drills, some positioning plays practice, and then finally some muscle training and a cool down. It didn’t seem too hard, except for the fact that Jisung wasn’t good at cardio, he didn’t have the majority of the skills required for the drills, he didn’t understand basketball plays and he didn’t have very much muscle. 

Nevertheless, Jisung made a vow to himself that he would do his best and try hard this practice. People always talk about how you can do anything that you work hard for, so why can’t Jisung play basketball? 

Jisung was snapped out of the conversation by a sharp whistle. He turned his head to see Lee Minho standing in the middle of the face-off circle, calling for the team to gather around him. 

Jisung and Hyunjin made their way towards the center. It was then that Jisung made eye contact with Minho, who gave him an encouraging smile. Jisung smiled back. He was happy that Minho didn’t seem like a harsh and mean leader. 

“Okay guys,” Minho called, grabbing the attention of the team, “we all know the unfortunate incident that happened with Dowoon, and though we will miss him for the remainder of the season, it still must go on,” he started, and Jisung heard some of the boys begin to whoop when Minho said that. “That means we have an open spot on this team, and since we already held try-outs this year, Hyunjin took the opportunity to invite a friend to help us. Everybody, this is Han Jisung,” Minho said, gesturing towards Jisung. 

One or two of the boys whooped for Jisung after that, which made him a little bit shy. Hyunjin bumped Jisung lightly on the shoulder. Minho gave Jisung a welcoming smile, which made Jisung’s heart flutter, for some reason. 

Practice started with running laps as a warm up, and then they moved onto skill developmental drills. Jisung fumbled the ball a few times, made some off shots, but overall he was genuinely not that bad. 

Throughout practice, Jisung got small words of encouragement from Hyunjin and Minho, as well as thumbs up from other members of the team, particularly Youngjae. Choi Youngjae was widely known to be a very nice and sweet kid, so it didn’t surprise Jisung. 

“Hey Jisung,” Minho called to him once practice finished. The rest of the boys all made their way back to the change room. 

Jisung walked over to Minho, feeling extra gross and sweaty. His hair felt like it was plastered to his forehead, and even though his body temperature is boiling, the sweat on his body gives him chills. 

“Welcome to the team,��� Minho said, smiling as he extended his hand out for Jisung to shake. Jisung was very happy, and excitedly took Minho’s hand and shook it. 

Jisung never even processed how much the idea of being on the team grew on him until he heard those words coming from his new captain's mouth. 

“Are you serious?” Jisung beamed. Minho gave him a pat on the shoulder as he gave him a confirming head nod. 

“But, you’ll still have to work hard if you want playing time this year,” Minho told him, leading Jisung towards the change rooms. 

“Of course,” Jisung agreed. 

“I think this is going to be a great season, Jisung,” Minho predicted, “I’m glad you took the jump and joined the team, I know Hyunjin said you were hesitant...” he trailed off.

Jisung noticed the way that Minho’s eyes gleamed, and the sweat made his skin sparkle. It wasn’t the first time that Jisung marveled at the boy’s handsomeness, but it feels like it. Jisung could never get over how smooth and pretty Minho’s skin was, or how it looked like Minho’s dark eyes reflected the rich warmth of the sun. Jisung thought he felt warm. 

It was then that it hit Jisung. His mind was flicking from one thought to the next, and before he knew it, he was thinking about how soft Minho’s lips looked. 

He snapped out of that thought, and saw Minho give a confused look. Jisung must have jumped a little bit at the shocking thoughts about his friend. 

“Jisung, are you okay?” Minho asked, placing a comforting hand on Jisung’s bare arm. Jisung felt his skin burn where Minho touched it, and his arm muscles tensed up. 

“Yeah,” he assured as they got to the change room door, “just the chills,” he excused, pushing open the heavy door and making his way to where Hyunjin was. 

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows in expectation, and Jisung realized he was asking what Minho said. Jisung smiled at him and nodded his head. 

“Yes!” Hyunjin celebrated. Jisung really appreciated how happy Hyunjin was that they will be playing basketball together. 

Jisung tried to engage himself in conversation with Hyunjin about everybody's positions and the team’s plays they used in the games, but Jisung was still hung up on the thought of Minho. 

----

That night, Jisung had a tough time shutting his brain off. All he could think about was why he reacted so harshly when he thought about Minho’s lips. It was nothing that out of the ordinary, he was just thinking about Minho’s face. He thought about Minho’s eyes, his nose, his skin, his hair, his laugh, everything, but for some reason, he felt guilty while thinking about his lips. 

Jisung figured that thinking about another guy’s lips seemed wrong. It just seemed weird. Usually, when a guy thinks about lips, they usually think about wanting to kiss those lips. And, those lips usually belong to a girl. 

Jisung tested out a theory. He thought about Nayeon, the girl he kissed at the party. He remembered her starry eyes, smooth and pale skin, and her lips that were soft and pink, pressed against his. He remembered how it felt, and what she tasted like, and even the pressure of her body flush against his in the dark hallway, but he still felt nothing. He might as well have been thinking about his school work. 

Then, Jisung cautiously thought about Minho’s lips. He thought the same thing that he thought earlier that day. They are some of the softest and prettiest lips Jisung has seen on any boy. Immediately, he felt his cheeks heat up in a blush. He felt dizzy as he thought about Minho. He imagined how smooth his skin must be. He imagined touching it. Suddenly, without his permission, Jisung’s mind trailed to what Minho’s lips would feel like when he kissed him, and he shot up in bed. 

He didn’t know what type of emotion he was feeling, but it felt like adrenaline, guilt, excitement, and fear all wrapped up in one. He was panting hard, trying to catch his breath. Suddenly, Jisung understood what people meant in all of those love songs and romance movies he used to watch. He feels a spark; he feels dizzy; he feels drunk. 

And it is terrifying.

Jisung snapped back to reality. He was having thoughts about kissing another boy. Not a girl, but a boy. Was he gay? He couldn’t be gay. He didn’t know why, but he just knew that he wasn’t gay. 

Jisung was confused and scared at this revelation. How could he face Minho again? Minho had been so kind and welcoming to him, and Jisung repays him by imagining gross scenarios filled with subconscious, perverted thoughts. 

There has to be someone he can go to for help. Someone that can help him figure out his feelings, because he can’t deal with them on his own. Jisung could never talk to Felix or Seungmin because he was too worried that they’d think he was weird, or gross, or something like that. Obviously he couldn’t tell Minho or Hyunjin. Chaeryeong would end his entire life if she found out her brother was having homosexual thoughts. His mother would disown him if he was anything other than straight. 

Then it hit him. Myoui Mina was a girl in his grade, and she was openly bisexual. Jisung had never really thought to talk to her or try and get close to her, not because he didn’t think that it was okay for her to like girls, but just because he was never really interested in making more friends. 

Jisung had a few classes with her over the years, and from what he could tell, she was a very kind person. Jisung also knows that after she came out freshman year, she suffered all kinds of bullying. Jisung had heard about the horror stories about her locker getting the D slur written on it in permanent marker, and the rumors that she hooked up with a thirteen year old girl. Of course Jisung never believed it, but people can be outright vicious when they want to be. 

Jisung assumed that if anyone would be trustworthy and possibly helpful to him, it would be Myoui Mina. 

So, he made up his mind to talk to her the next day, and ask her for advice. What did he have to lose?

----

When the bell rang for lunch, Jisung immediately doubted his plan to ask Mina for advice. He felt himself begin to shake as he saw her across the hall from where he was, talking to a girl he doesn’t know. 

Jisung thought about the night before, how gross it felt having those thoughts about Minho, which gave him the confidence he needed to catch up to Mina. 

When Jisung got to where she was walking, she bid her friend goodbye as she stopped and opened a locker, Jisung figures it probably belongs to her. Mina’s friend kept walking down the hall, which Jisung was thankful for. 

Now or never. 

“Uhm.. Hi Mina,” he greeted, leaning against the locker beside her in an attempt to look less awkward and panicked. 

She was a little bit startled from the sudden guy beside her, but her gaze softened when she saw it was Jisung. 

“Han Jisung? What’s going on?” she asked, grabbing her bag out of her locker and leaving her school books inside.

Jisung took a breath. He was scared to tell anybody about his situation, which he thought would be understandable. He doesn’t think that coming to terms with something like this would be easy for anybody. 

“Uhm..” he starts. Suddenly, he begins to shake slightly again, finding it hard to breathe.

“Are you okay?” She asks, closing her locker and giving him a concerned look. 

“Can we talk... in private?” he asked, and she gave him a confused nod. The two of them began to walk in silence, Mina leading him outside to the bleachers on the side of the running track. Nobody ever sat there, so Jisung saw that it was a perfect spot for this conversation. 

“Not gonna lie, you’re kind of freaking me out,” Mina says, sitting down on the metal bench. Jisung joins her and stares intently at the track in front of them. He likes sitting here because he didn’t have to look at her in the eyes while he told her his biggest secret. “I know we don’t really know each other, but something’s obviously wrong,” she said. 

“Mina...” he started. The air outside was cool, which was hardly unusual for early-mid October. There was a breeze that supplied Jisung with more oxygen. He took a deep inhale of the refreshing air, and bit his lip. “When did you realize... you liked girls?” he asked in a small voice. 

Mina smiled in understanding. Jisung sat in the question for a second, waiting for her to answer. He began to feel anxious, worried that she thought he was weird for asking. He was about to backtrack and find a way to leave when-

“I was thirteen, and I watched Harry Potter,” she answered. Jisung felt a massive weight lift off of his shoulders as he listened to her response. “It was Hermione, really. I don’t know why, but I had such a big crush on her. I didn’t even realize that it was a romantic thing until I was fourteen,” she let out a small, airy laugh. “everyone has their crushes...” 

Jisung smiled and nodded. 

“I assume that’s not the only think you wanted to talk to be about though, is it?” she said, resting her arm on his shoulder, “it’s okay, I won’t judge you,” 

Jisung almost felt himself tear up. He didn’t realize it would be this hard to come to terms with himself, but here he was. “I...” he started, and then stopped. 

“Jisung, do you think you might be interested in boys?” she asked cautiously, moving her hand to his back and rubbing consoling circles over the uniform. 

Jisung couldn’t find it in him to give her a verbal answer, so he just nodded his head. Mina gave him a smile, which he didn’t see since he was so focused on the track. 

“What makes you think that?” she asked, using a calming voice. Jisung felt safe with her. He almost felt like she was giving him motherly love, and it was intoxicating. 

He took a deep breath, and willed himself to explain it. “So...” he began, “I have this friend, I’m not going to say his name, and... I don’t know, I really wanted to be his friend, and he’s always so nice to me,” he mustered up the courage to look Mina in her eyes. He saw the genuine look she had on her face, and it made him feel less scared. “Anyways, I had.. a weird thought about him yesterday,” 

“What kind of a weird thought?” she asked. Jisung felt a whole new wave of nervousness engulf him when he realized he was about to tell her that he thought about kissing another boy, and he liked the idea. 

“It was..” he trailed off, but brought himself back, “His lips.. and I wanted to kiss them,” he finished. He hung his head in shame, hoping to hide his embarrassed cheeks from her. He felt his heart pound throughout his whole body, sounding like thunder in his ears. 

“I see,” Mina whispered. Jisung waited for her response, but there was none. 

“I just.. I don’t know, am I gay?” he asked her, turning to fully face her finally. 

Mina gave him an apologetic smile. “I can’t answer that for you, Jisung,” she moved both of her hands to grab both of his, “but I can tell you that whatever you are, it’s okay,” she confirmed, “liking boys is not a bad thing, okay?” she told him. 

Jisung felt his emotions get stronger again. He realized that what he really wanted was validation. He craved somebody to tell him his feelings for Minho weren’t disgusting. He needed that to help him become at peace with it. And he got it, in the form of Myoui Mina. 

The two of them exchanged numbers so that they could talk, and Jisung could keep her updated on what happens with him. 

When Jisung was walking back to his locker, he saw Minho, Jeongin and Sungjin all walking down the hall. As much as Jisung tried not to focus on the boy in the middle, his gaze automatically landed on Minho. 

He was wearing the red varsity jacket, his hair was slightly messy, but it looked attractive on him. Jisung met his eyes, and Minho gave him a wink and a smile as he walked. Jisung felt himself freeze in place when he noticed Minho’s lips curled into the most radiant smile Jisung had ever had the privilage of seeing. He felt his breath catch in his throat as Minho turned back to the other two boys, walking right past Jisung. 

He has absolutely no idea the damage he is doing. 

[littlemeowyoons]

Bonded

A/N- It’s my first time posting my writing on Tumblr but I guess better late than never huh, so here you go. More is in work so please anticipate a lot.

~Fay

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff(lots of them), a drop of angst, Single Dad! AU, College! AU, Introvert! Yoongi, Tutor! Y/n

Word Count:1.7k

Synopsis: Yoongi found a basket left in front of his dorm room one day, and turns out it was his daughter, left alone crying. Puzzled and scared was an understatement. When his 4 semesters roommate Jimin left for his hometown, he was left with the last straw of help, turning to his physics tutor a.k.a friend-that-I-only-know-name-but-have-no-interest-in-knowing-more ; you.

Series: Masterlist ll Part 2 lI Part 3

                                           Part 1: Distress

                                            °•. ✿ .•°

“Why own a fucking iPhone when you can’t even answer a fucking call?! Dammit!”, he breathed hard after his nth tempt to connect the line failed again, his own Samsung device was clutched tightly in hand, knuckles turning white from the pressure. Yoongi had reached that point where smashing the black covered device in hand to the wall was considered a bliss, but he was saint enough to convince himself otherwise. Not when his phone was his gateway out of this mess; the only way maybe. So he tried again; redialing the numbers, manually even.

 “I swear I’ll shred your trench coat to pieces, fucking im-“

The end of the line connected midway his constant ranting.

“Oh thank God above you finally answered! What took you so long?”

“Ever heard of Bio lecture Yoongi?”, the soft voice at the receiving end answers calmly, though Yoongi knew the person was beyond annoyed.

 Who wouldn’t? Multiple spam in all form of communication, texts, kakaotalk, Instagram dm; at this point, Yoongi wanted to settle down to those damn pigeons. Even Yoongi would be out of his head if it happen to him, not that it will happen in the near future or anything.

“Don’t outsmart me woman, I’m not in the mood.”

“What is it Yoongi? You know I have class at this time of the day”

“I need your help”, his breath came out breathless than ever.

“Fuck if you’re asking about the same kinetic and potential energy chapter, I’m gonna rip all my nonexistent and existent  hair out of my-“

“Please…”

                                        ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ:⠀ ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ☾

You swear it took you everything not to scream out of frustration watching your phone blow off during lecture period. Plus, the same ID that keeps popping up on the lock screen adds the bitter taste. Once your professor said the word ‘thank-‘, you were already making your way out of the hall, books not even properly shoved in bag and you were sure you left your favourite baby blue Sharpie highlighter behind.

Once in the hallway, you yanked your phone out of your sling bag and slide the screen harshly, already embracing yourself for the upcoming questions and constant groaning. What you did not expect is the person on the other side panting heavily, desperate. Yoongi sounds…distress.You were still processing his jumbled words but once the word ‘please’ escaped his mouth, you froze.

That word is so rare to even pass-through Yoongi’s head, what less say it. The last time you remembered the word ever exist in his sentence, was the day he consulted you at the cafeteria. Head down, full frown and shoulder slumped was some few giveaway you could collect which equals to one thing; failed test.

You were used to people asking you questions, since you were one of the few alphas in curriculum areas. But having Yoongi, the junior of Art and Music Department, Majoring in Music Production asking you to be a full-time physics tutor is…well, unexpected. You pity him, that poor boy seems like he couldn’t breathe for goodness sake, not until you lean back to your metal seats and smile softly, not forgetting to nod along while you utter the word that Yoongi seems dread to hear, ‘Sure, when?’

You swear his eyes shine like a good measure 60 watts light bulb. But that was long time ago, you lost track how long it was though you were sure it won’t be more than a year now, hearing that Yoongi is in serious problem was the main pushover to your muscle cells.

The thing is Yoongi never beg, ever. He never sounds that desperate even when he got 5 per cent on his last two physics quiz, he never sounds this discomfort.

“I’ll be there in five”.

                                          ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ:⠀ ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ☾

You almost lost a footing while climbing the stairs up the boys’ dormitory, but you didn’t stall behind. Once room 103 is in front of you, you proceed to reach out to knock, when you heard an infant’s cry. You froze, chest rising in rapid beat from all the runnings.

“Yoongi?”

The crying was still there, you glance to check the neighbouring room number on the door, confirming that the room in front of you indeed belongs to Yoongi. So you crossed your heart and decided to knock, after all, you go with the concept YOLO. The door opened to reveal a hopelessly in despair Yoongi and a small woven basket on his dinner table, the moving mauve blanket shows that he wasn’t alone in the room, physically anyway.

Though the facts were right in front of your eyes, your mouth was sealed from emitting any word, what less sounds. You just stand there, at his doorstep, mouth agape. The cried were getting louder and the small tiny hands rising from the woven basket was doing nothing other than deepening the frown on Yoongi’s forehead.

“Come on Y/n, say something…”

Once his words registered in yourself, you took a last glance to Yoongi, before backing away into the hallway and sprint off.

“I need to go.”

“Y/n wait!”

No no no, this is bad. He thought Y/n would be different, thought she’ll understand but turns out, she ran away.

“Just…just like Hyoju.”, Yoongi whispers.

The cries from behind him gets louder and he snapped to look at the one sole thing that currently gives him a headache.

“Can you fucking shut it?!”

Yoongi growled but then retracted away from the dining table, against the wall and sliding down on his back until he reaches the floor. A sudden seed of fear bloom in his chest,

“What am I doing, am I already out of my mind? He’s just a baby, what does he even know?”, Yoongi sigh while standing and dragged himself to the basket, brushing along his slender fingers through the baby’s thin hair; his baby. The living being right in front of him is his own making, an act done without even considering about the effect. In this case, Yoongi can admit that he’s one of the few to be blame, maybe THE ONE to be blamed, fuck he was so drunk that night he can barely remember her, the mother of his child, Han Hyoju

The baby’s crying subsided a little as soon as Yoongi’s fingers make contact with the head, as if the touch of a 10-minutes-ago-newly known-father is proof that it’s safe for the little one.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do”, he whispered because it was a fact.

Yoongi was never a fan of kids, he was never a person-type, a typical signs of an introvert. His only source of never-ending help support is none other than his roommate, Dance Major Park Jimin. He helps Yoongi realize that age is just numbers, Yoongi; as a hyung, two years older, seeks more advice than he wants to admit. This whole two years living with Jimin, the topic of conversation never goes off if it didn’t start with Jimin encouraging Yoongi to get some sunlight on him to which Jimin always said, as Yoongi quoted “We don’t need a walking paperwhite corpse walking around campus, hyung. Go out and get some air would you?”.

 It’s just that Jimin’s happy go lucky trait as well as his naturally warm smile is enough to blooms a friendship unlike Yoongi, who people would just point fingers at and said ‘cold, harsh and rock dead’ just by a mere look. Jimin don’t, however. That’s how Yoongi opened up a little to him. But now, that said roommate can’t help him, being on the other side of Korea, back in Busan his hometown for four days(though Yoongi doubt he won’t prolong it) limits Yoongi to ask for any favour to his friend. The kid in front of him will die of thirst first if he waits for Jimin. That’s what left him to his other only friend; Y/L/N Y/N.

But Yoongi could understand what you did, how you act. It’s because both Yoongi and you didn’t share more than three sentences, or on some lucky days short bickering outside of your tutoring hour. He only knows the basic things for someone to be an acquaintance; name, major and room number(because it slipped your mouth once when texting your roommate), but other than that, zero-knowledge. Jimin insisted that he asked more, to what Yoongi always dismiss, he’s too shy or scared, or maybe both.

Though Yoongi knew so much, he still labels you as a friend, which means a name listed in his life whereabouts, significant enough for him, not a nobody. He wanted to smile thinking that you’re indeed a friend to him, but it falters upon remembering you retreated away.

“I’m doomed…”

A sudden burst of the door jolted Yoongi, retracting his hand that once was playing with the baby hairs on his child’s head. You walk in, head high and face determined. You dropped off your school bag by the sofa, the usual place when you hang around Yoongi’s room after tutor session. Yoongi was overwhelmed, all his senses went numb, why did you return?

“Yoongi, does the baby comes with a bag, a pouch, anything other than the basket?”, you already made your way into the kitchen, but Yoongi still got a perfect view of your side profile from where he’s standing.

“Umm-“, Yoongi snapped out of his short trance and reached out for the mustard yellow beg that was originally in the same basket as his child when he first opens his door this morning, “Is this it?”

You glance over to him and nod, motioning him to hand it over. Once the bag is in your hand, you unzip it and pull out a baby bottle. Yoongi just watched in awe as you mixed baby formula, Yoongi assumed the grey paper bag you brought with you contained the powder formulae. He knows he shouldn’t be gawking like that, but he’s completely amazed, the fact that you came back had him racked his brain for a reason why, and now you’re going through all of this just to feed his kid. He felt small. Once the formula milk was done, you walked towards the living room and straight to the dining table, where the baby is. The red face of the baby shows just how long it had been crying.

‘Poor thing.’,  you thought. You put down the baby bottle on the table, hands reached out to swoop out the crying baby and puts the nuzzle near the mouth. After some effort, the baby takes in the nuzzle into his mouth and right away the rooms fell into a deep silence.

“Aww you poor thing, starving huh? It’s okay it’s okay. I got you.”,  you cooed.

Yoongi stood there dumbly, watching you feeding his own child, still confused but for sure, extremely grateful. Now if only explaining is easy enough.

[florcnces]

HEY HENS ! my name’s nat & today i present to you the one, the only ... ms florence ! under the cut you’ll find a few bits & pieces i’ve come up w/ so far just so ... u kno ... we can plot or whateva 😏😏😏so if u want me to shower you w/ love, feel free to drop a big, fat LIKE or im me 😏😏😏also ... if u read this thru u will notice that ... i gave up somewhere in the middle of it ...

new york’s very own 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐃 was spotted on broadway street in 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐀'𝐒  𝐁𝐁𝐒 . your resemblance to 𝐒𝐘𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐘  𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐘 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 - 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋 , but also 𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 . i guess being a 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋  𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒 ,  𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐄 - 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐄  𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒  &  𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 - 𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐃  𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒  𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐔𝐌𝐄 . ( i seduced the director to get my first big movie role. )  &  ( cis-gendered female & she / her  ) 

𝐢. 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬 

name : florence noel brassard

dob / age : may 22nd, 1996 / twenty - two

hometown : paris , france

occupation : actress

aesthetics : pearl necklaces , femme-fatale movies , half-used bottles of perfume , lavender bouquets & satin sheets

positive traits : nurturing , logical , self-motivated , thoughtful 

negative traits : vengeful , scornful , two-faced , devious 

likes :  morning runs , feeling accomplished , freckles , seltzer water , blueberry yogurt , random picnics

dislikes : not getting attention , impulsive decisions , being late , not taking care of herself , mess all over the place , loud voices

𝐢𝐢. 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 

baby florence was born & raised in new york city and was immediately thrown into the world of luxury - there literally was no other outcome when your parents appeared to be, like, one of the most powerful couple in the fashion industry, owning a huge chunk of loewe, lv, berluti and etc (so basically think like antoine arnault & natalia vodianova as her parents ... thnx xxxx)

with everything being handed to the girl on a silver platter, flo’s childhood was as boring as it could be. ‘ want to attend ballet classes? we’ll arrange private ones for you with the nycb principals.’ / ‘ can’t find a dress for the event we’re throwing? here’s five custom gowns to choose from, honey. ’ / ‘ there’s a scratch on your shoes; here’s a credit card, go buy yourself three new pairs. ’ / so, basically, tl;dr, they spoiled her ROTTEN

not gonna like, flo had a phase of being a bratty, greedy & ungrateful bih at the age of 13-15 because of the people she surrounded herself with & in order to fit in, she had to have like the best of the best. tho it wasn’t like she hadn’t had any of those things already - she just started taking advantage of her parents’ generosity. it took cutting her allowance down to the minimum for a few months and a few serious conversations to get a confession out of florence and to get her to understand that people should consider your their friends for your personality and not your bank account. so basICALLY she loves her parents v v v much & treasures the relationship they built over the years.

by the time she finished high school, she was v much set on the idea of creating a name for herself. starting a business wasn’t an option bc of how influential her parents were; sports weren’t an option either bc she didn’t have any exceptional talents (fun fact: she tried out for the cheerleading team for 3 yrs in a row only to not make the cut every single time which led to her crying at lunch ... ): #poorbby). being an influencer didn’t sound right to her either, so she went with the option that probably fit her the most - the julliard ! 

it was quite hard getting in there, mostly due to the fact that people there didn’t exactly understand why florence wanted to get into acting. it wasn’t like she needed any additional buzz to her name or more a-list events to be in attendance of, so she did have to prove that she was noth talented & sincerely interested in pursuing the career. however, it wasn’t the hardest thing she had to do to actually become the person she is today.

studying at the julliard wasn’t enough bc it didn’t make it any easier for flo to get a role. she tried her absolute damndest, used every connection she had -- yet, nothing was working. & since going to her papa for her was in no way, shape or form an option, she resorted to the worst.

bc she knew her mother was always in charge of organizing charity galas and whatnot, florence made sure to check out a list of invitees and, much to her sheer luck, she found a few familiar names of actresses and directors who rsvp’d to the event already. the night of the gala was spent with florence circling the room, looking and acting as gorgeous and charming as ever, but nothing seemed to be working bc everyone were either uninterested or just wanted her to get their name to her parents (& that wasn’t an option). however, at the end of the night she found the one. the one who lit up her star.

she didn’t go into it without thinking all of her options. she spent weeks flitring w/ the guy, going on dates and accepting gifts - everything to make it seem as if she was truly interested in him as a person. she laughed at his jokes, enjoyed his embraces - at some point, she even felt as if she could actually end up loving him. however, the moment he offered her the role of her life (plS one day i’ll actually properly headcanon that ish ... but not rn i proMISE!), whatever feelings (or whatever resembled them ...) immediately vanished.

so ! currently bby florence is basking in the newfound limelight and making sure to move further in her career... without having to resort to seducing middle-aged dudes... :-)

𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 

florence, like i said, isn’t exactly a multi-talented skinny legend. yea, she’s decent at skating, somewhat good at singing, is quite beautiful - nothing out of the ordinary, hence why she sometimes struggles with her confidence. and by sometimes i mean A LOT of times. but if u think she’d ever show it U R SO WRONG BABE. usually whenever she falls into her self-called pit of uncertainty and lack of confidence, florence resorts to dressing up as nicely as she can and going to the first bar that comes to her head to get a drink and attract as much attention as she can. 

she also finds comfort in cooking. sure, with her daddy’s money she could eat out for breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between,  but there’s something incredibly comforting in taking the time to cook something for herself. besides, she is very fond of the memories of her mother teaching her how to cook. and the times they’ve accidentally burned the food bc they were too busy talking abt random things :’) like bby can actually make a MEAN kedgeree !!!

since her father is french and her mother is american, florence is bilingual. she prefers speaking french over english purely bc of the beauty of the language, so sometimes she might just switch languages mid-sentence.

florence is also ambidextrous due to the fact that she broke her arm when she was 7 and had to wear a cast for a longer period of time since the bones couldn’t heal properly :-)

also ... v much a dog person. like, cats? EW, don’t talk to her. don’t even think of calling her KITTEN bc u will ... get ur ass handed to u

always and i mean ALWAYS !!!! wears a pearl necklace on her neck that her father gave her for her 18th birthday. and just hella obsessed w/ pearls and flowers. iDK why she just is ...

𝐢𝐯. 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

obv !!! a best friend ? like, that typical ride-or-die situation where they wouldn’t hesitate to catch the bullet for the other person

maybe a friend / some friends from high school ? either they were the ones pressuring flo to take advantage of finer things and daddy’s money or ... flo could have left them for those ppl

a rival ... who had their eyes on the role florence landed ... and now there’s just a ton of anger and distaste towards each other

exes / one night stands / flirtations ... :-)

[sybvrites]

hi angels! im bee, 20, a general mess... u get the picture. this is hugo and he’s... idk what he is but he’s my baby :))) this is really long so you the best if you read it in full && as always my discord is the uk's weird farmer cousin#1697 if y’all want speedy replies for plotting !

tw: death & drug use.

( xavier serrano, cismale, he/him, twenty-two ) — have you seen hugo talbot, the history and politics student around oxford yet ? i hear they can be acerbic and meticulous, but those who know them insist they’re reminded of driving too fast on an empty road, the whipping wind in a thunderstorm, cashmere turtlenecks & worn poetry books when they’re around. rumour has it that his parents died during the execution of an insurance scam. is it true ? only time will tell…

FULL NAME: hugo byron talbot DATE OF BIRTH: november 3rd, 1996 PARENTS: gregory talbot & marianne cunard-talbot  NATIONALITY: english  IMPORTANT LINKS: statistics & pinterest.

BACKSTORY

hugo was born on november 3rd, ironically the same day as his mother’s birthday, born twenty-six years apart. marianne cunard-talbot was, to put it bluntly, not the motherly type. her own mother left her and her father when she was one, and since kenneth cunard had no other possible heir to the family business ( and fortune, mind ) the proverbial crown was laid on her brow. with no mother figure in her life, it seemed the capabilities escaped her, as they escaped her husband too. gregory talbot, as a second son to a wealthy family, had little to inherit but a mind for business. when they met at cambridge, both studying literature, in the eighties it wasn’t a match made in heaven, it wasn’t love at first sight, but they made a good team — it was enough.  two more children followed after hugo, and while they lacked a significant amount of guidance from their own parents ( or any sort of guidance at all, really ), they made do with themselves. while hugo and his siblings stayed in london, his parents continued to live in southampton where the headquarters for cunard corporation was, and let the nannies that they’d hired handle the raising of their kids. the lack of supervision and general parenting only served to create an air of entitlement around hugo. he knew from a young age that he was going to be an important man when he grew up, that he would be a powerful man. it was only enforced by the fact that when marianne and gregory would visit it was mainly to nitpick at their children, enquire after their grades and ensure that nobody was stepping out of line.  at thirteen hugo had to leave his siblings behind to attend eton. despite the fact he would return every weekend he still felt the separation from his siblings keenly, they had after all barely been apart for their whole lives. on his first day at eton, he tripped over someone else’s suitcase as he exited his car, and when he turned to angrily confront the owner of the case, he came face to face with thomas. they became fast friends despite the fact that hugo couldn’t help but remember, and wish to rebel against, his parents wish for him to befriend the heir to the throne. the tom he knew wasn’t the crown prince, but rather the boy who had never been allowed his own freedom, a boy who was only just beginning to discover who he was without his parents telling him who he had to be.  by the time hugo was sixteen, and tom seventeen, both had begun to dabble in illicit substances. their reasons were different of course, but it wasn’t as if they necessarily needed reasons to get high and pretend they weren’t going to have the weight of the world on their respective shoulders in ten years. but while hugo usually kept sober unless there was a party, tom seemed to want to spend his time being perpetually high. it was easy to ignore it, his best mate seemed happier after he’d done a few lines, but he also seemed flirtier. tom had come out almost immediately after they’d met, and it was like all the weight had lifted off of his shoulders, sharing his secret with another person seemed to help him immensely. hugo couldn’t say when he began to realise that tom had a crush on him, maybe it was from the very moment they’d met, but throughout the years it started to become abundantly clear. at a friend’s twenty-first birthday party he still felt completely blindsided when tom got high and wasted, and then tried to convince hugo to sleep with him. 

he was eighteen when his parents passed away, it was strange to him because despite their lack of presence it always felt like they were hovering nearby, just waiting for him to mess up, or for his brother or sister to, so they could blame him. it was an accident they said, something went wrong on one of the ships and unfortunately, it took his parents with him when it sunk. his grandfather pulled him aside at the funeral to tell him what happened, he claimed it was hugo's right now, considering once he left university, it was all his. he told hugo about how the cunard fleet was losing more money that it was making, how there was a plan to sink the least valuable to bring in more money, to supplement the loss of money. he told hugo how the plan went awry and the ship didn't sink when it was meant to on its return from australia, and when they went to inspect the ship and why it didn't go down, it sank with them on it. the money was still going to be beneficial to the company, and now the insurance company would be hard pressed to believe that the ship was tampered with, considering who was aboard. the secret had to be kept, he was going to have to keep it for his whole life if he valued his handle on the company and their resulting wealth. it was hard, losing his parents and being burdened with such a secret. his only solace was tom, who didn't know what it was to lose family, but understood what it was like to feel so disconnected.

he would never admit it to his best friend, hell, he’d never admit it out loud, period, but while his mate had been harbouring feelings for him, hugo had a crush of his own. tom’s sister eleanor was quiet around him, he wasn’t sure they’d ever really had a proper conversation and yet every time he caught sight of her when he’d visit tom his heart would kick up and his palms would sweat. it all came to a head when, at tom’s cousin’s twenty-first birthday, he rescued nora from a handsy party-goer and began seeing her in secret, namely so tom wouldn’t find out. their relationship was easy enough to hide, he would stay with tom and sneak off to eleanor’s room once he’d passed out, she would arrive at his door with a hermès scarf to shield her face and hair from those who might recognise her. by the time it had become abundantly clear to the both of them that it was a completely serious relationship and decided that it was time to go public and share their news with tom, and scheduled a press conference ( because an instagram debut was awfully uncouth ), they’d been together for almost a year and a half. 

with the press conference scheduled for the monday after their respective birthdays, and having resolved to sit down to dinner on sunday with eleanor’s family to tell them the truth, both hugo and eleanor went into the weekend confident and happy. tragedy was never far away though, it always seemed to loom on the horizon. after a wild saturday night, tom and hugo found themselves back at buckingham palace, hugo drunk and tom exceptionally high. a quick slip of the tongue ( “ god i’m going to regret this in the morning, nora’s going to kick my ass if i go back to her in this state. ” ), had him thinking he’d ruined everything before nora could present her arguments to her family. instead, tom gave his blessing and sent hugo off to his sister to enjoy the rest of his birthday. he’d thought it was the best weekend of his life, he went home to get ready for dinner and was interrupted by his phone ringing — it was the phone call that he felt turning his life upside down. his girlfriend told him how the maid came to wake him, he was late for breakfast, she shook him and he didn’t wake up. a heart attack, nora told him. the press conference planned for them was used to announce his best friend’s death, the best weekend of his life so quickly turned into the worst.

CURRENTLY

hugo is still trying to work through losing tom, he’s not about to admit to anyone that losing someone who he’d just assumed would be there for… well, forever, was taken so quickly. it also impeded the announcement for his and eleanor’s relationship and forced them back into the dark when they’d been preparing to be able to not sneak around, and now they’re back to where they were before. 

PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: astute, meticulous, loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: acerbic, calculating, imperious  hugo is, above all else, extremely sharp. when it comes to people it usually takes approximately a sentence to leave their mouth before he's made his judgement on them. this also applies to his schoolwork and actual work ( on the occasion that his grandfather requires another set of trusted eyes ). in all things he does he is exceptionally precise, mostly a result of the scrutiny he faced with his parents expecting every move to be absolutely perfect. above all else, and probably the trait he would tell a person he possesses, he is extremely loyal, mostly to his family. there are few people he would go to the ends of the earth for and without a doubt his siblings are the first two ( and eleanor ). he was never raised to be soft, he was raised to run a multi-billion dollar corporation, and as such he never learnt to edge his words with honey, his words always tend to sound as if they have an edge to them, almost confrontational. if a person knows him well enough, they would understand that he usually means nothing by it, he doesn't care enough about most people for it to mean anything. when approaching any situation, his cunning is one thing he has no problem in using, it's often little more than a means to an end as long as it benefits him or someone he cares about. he also has a habit of coming across as quite pompous, he's lived a life where he hasn't ever wanted for anything, everything is served up on a silver platter. as such his view of the world is also quite skewed and his knowledge of simple things like grocery shopping is nonexistent. it makes him come off as conceited and haughty, once the layers are peeled back he is definitely a different person, alas he's hard pressed to let anyone close enough to see him.

PLOTS

okay, i'm definitely spitballing because connections for him are genuinely hard, i can almost guarantee that while i don't think he makes enemies, he's certainly not making friends with many people. he's probably friendly with most people in the riot club, but nowhere close to someone he actually considers a close friend. in saying that, here are a list of connections i can see, but i'm so happy to brainstorm some fun things up ! 

close friends ( 0/2 ) — would have also been close to tom, and i imagine each of them brought a different dynamic/layer to the group ( for instance i definitely think tom was hooking up with one of their mates ). past hookups ( 0/? ) — obviously he isn't hooking up with anyone right about now but i definitely think he was a bit of a fuccboi before eleanor.  childhood friends ( 0/1 ) — hugo never really got out much as a child, but when he did it was usually with this character, their parents were likely friends of his own parents and thus, this character would have been ' approved '. party friends ( 0/2 ) — i imagine that these two were the ones who helped him get through tom's death where eleanor couldn't, he had, and still has, a lot of frustration regarding his friend's passing and i can see him just wanting to go out, drink far too much and forget about things for a little while. riot friends ( 0/? ) — he's not very... chummy with many people, but considering everyone in the riot club are of a similar calibre, he definitely feels more comfortable calling most people in riot more than acquaintances. 

[raccoonpatriotism]

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Random, Useless Headcanons | Accepting

i like how i keep labeling this meme as “accepting” when i have…. 260 of these right here.

1: Has he driven a car before? Yes. Should he be allowed to keep driving? No.

2: You know that “I’m washing me and my clothes!” vine? That’s Jane. It’s efficient.

3: If you gave him Cat Food he’d say it’s the best thing he’d ever tasted.

4: Before going to Poland to serve his time, he hired a sex worker. Her touch would be the last non-violent physical contact he would feel for the next 9 or so years.

5: 

6: He donates a healthy sum of his paychecks to wild animal and veteran charities. 

7: Jane’s ‘friendship’ with Merasmus is the longest relationship he’s ever held.

8: Jane doesn’t believe in the number 8.

9: He doesn’t have any titty mags, but he does have tasteful pin-up for the inside of his locker.

10: He’s an excellent swimmer - but will sometimes forget to hold his breath. 

11: Getting Jane to imprint on you like a baby bird is really easy. Be strong, be patriotic, be funny, be determined. 

12: He trusts everything he’s told from someone he views as a friend.

13: He’s been on BLU before - it was brief.., a WAR! got started and ended. A few years went by and he was balanced to RED

14: Continuation of 13, it was… very easy to get him to believe he was always on RED team.

15: He loves fighting robots - but nothing compares to the feeling of a neck snapping in his hands.

16: He taught himself how to use every weapon he came across in Poland - it took a few years before he ran into a rocket launcher…. His life was changed from that moment onward.

17: His knowledge of the US military comes from tv and stories from veteran home he was forced to work at through his older years at the orphanage. (Outdated or complete bullshit.)

18: The liveliness of America is just one of the innumerable reasons he loves the country. Even things he hates (like.. war protesters/hippies) have this determination in them that makes him proud.

19: He’ll pick ear wax out of his ear, sniff it, grimace, and happily hold the finger out to somebody near him.

20: He only wants the best for you.

21: Getting him to realize he’s actually ended civilian’s lives is a conversation that would take over an hour. His brain has the wildest, irrationally rational excuses ever. (”Officer Miss Pauling, what I am about to say will SHOCK you; I was framed” will never make me not lose my mind. ilove him)

22: His moral compass is, admittedly, terrible, but he genuinely wants the best for people in the world.

23: Helping people, serving his country, that’s his goal. That all he wants out of life. He’s a cog in the machine of war and he loves it.

24: Consequences don’t exist in Jane’s world.

25: He’s so fucking bisexual. This headcanon is not useless at all.

26: Jane snores like a chainsaw - and will then be absolutely silent for spaces of minutes.

27: He never covers his face when he sneezes.

28: He’s very touchy feely - A way to make up for what he so clearly craves.

29: But god this man wants to be touched.

30: As much as Jane holds back on admitting to weakness, he’s also just a genuinely honest guy so simple prodding usually gets him to spill.

31: Jane has never purposefully manipulated someone in his life.

32: He’s only ever seen one movie. Well, more like registered he always zones out at some point. Sometimes starting the movie in a day dream and zoning back in to catch the ending. The movie he’s fully seen was watched through 3 separate sessions.

33: War films, what he does catch, always make him cry.

34: With everyone he meets; Jane immediately thinks of two things. How to kill them. And what to say when holding their guts into their dying corpse and crying to the sky.

35: He has no idea he’s beautiful.

36: Jane doesn’t have a self-effacing bone in his body.

37: He chews with his mouth open, and speaks with his mouth full. He’ll also snap at someone else to stop talking with their mouth full, it’s disrespectful.

38: Jane had a dream where he beat Communism and thought it was true for a whole year.

39: He’s not dumb on purpose. He has nothing to gain by making people think he’s an idiot, as far as he’s concerned. He acts like himself 24/7

40: Jane invented that song Fifty Nifty United States song that’s song in elementary schools.

41: You know those kiddie leashes? You could put one of those on Jane and he wouldn’t be, like, “Okay.” Try and run off and be like “What contraption is holding me here?!?!?!”

42: The answer to life, the universe, and everything is American Apple Pie

43: i just realized im gonna get to answer a headcanon 69 and got excited. UHH jane likes the color red.

44: Jane likes the color blue.

45: Jane likes the color white.

46: Jane loves all skin colors, anybody can be American.

47: Has he retained any American history? Haha. Ha. No.

48: Jane was taken out of elementary school for bad behavior, lack of attention, and general ruckus.

49: His orphanage never tried to send him back to any schooling. 

50: Jane was born July 4th, he doesn’t know that, despite claiming it.

51: He’s not an amnesiac - he’s never had a strong sense for long-term memories. 

52: God, he loves bread.

53: And also he loves taking everything Engineer says literally. He’s such a wise American.

54: Jane would absolute trollface and say “Problem?”

55: He would never say a slur.

56: Jane does not use fuck as a curse ever. He’ll say it, but like, to mean, y’know.

57: He’s a follower, don’t tell him that. He’ll get offended. 

58: Jane is convinced the President is the most powerful being in the world, and is also granted special powers.

59: Jane is progressive, baybee. He thinks dogs should vote!!

60: UNLESS IT HAS TO DO WITH WAR. Then he’s, like, a total bootlicker.

61: He’ll beat up racists in bars.

62: Jane really came alive during Grey Mann’s first robot attacks - for the second time he felt like he was protecting America and not some Very Important American Gravel. 

63: If Jane ever got sentenced to prison, he’d just serve his time.

64: He has Lawyer Powers given to him by magic, and he is not afraid to use them.

65: Besides Scout, he has represented himself, Lt. Bites, and the state of Tennessee in court.

66: He was a bad roommate, he genuinely thought Merasmus was an even worse roommate. 

67: Extreme Cold is a surefire way to trigger his PTSD. He doesn’t act all that different verbally, but he becomes entire still. Not even moving to shiver. It’s like he automatically transfers to late stage hypothermia.

68: Jane may have never played baseball, but he’s briefly been on a bowling team.

69: ayyyyy. Jane always returns the favor, if ya know what i mean.

70: I can’t tell you how much he can lift because I know nothing about fitness, but it’s a lot. And it’s impressive. 

71: Jane practices unsafe workout routines! It’s a miracle lifting without a spotter hasn’t killed him yet.

72: He makes up for his genuine stupidity with Pure Luck.

73: He’ll kill, he’ll maim, but he won’t assault. 

74: Jane’s favorite chocolate is Hershey’s.

75: He’s convinced Milton Hershey, founder of Hershey’s Chocolate, was a President despite him being alive in Jane’s lifetime.

76: Jane isn’t afraid of gay thoughts, never payed attention to period typical homophobia going on around him therefor never got a chance to develop it.

77: Jane would totally be the type of guy to see one of those Fireman Calendars and zone out staring at some dudes pecs and someone asks him if he’s okay and he’s like “I’m ogay.”

78: It’s a miracle, the first time Jane rocket jumped, his legs weren’t blown off. He was injured from the fall, surprised he’d gotten air at all. It was an accident and, while he’d never go to recreate it during his time in Poland, when he’d gotten hooked up to respawn and he saw all the high perches, the trick reoccured to him.

79: He loved Tavish so much

80: He was born in Tennessee, although he grew up in Wisconsin.

81: He’ll make odd little sounds - aborted sentences, thoughts lost to the depths of his brain. You can point them out and he’ll have no idea what you’re talking about.

82: He could have a possum mixed in with his raccoons and think it’s a raccoon.

83: He takes his Ranger Job very seriously. Just as serious as he does all his jobs. (So, you know. Not… very.) He is very enthusiastic at least!

84: He’s not empathetic at all, however energies at Large in a room really affect him. Chances are, if everyone’s in good favor, he’ll be really happy and relaxed - even if previously grumpy.

85: Jane can be really grumpy, that’s when his drill sergeant personality shines through - more often than not, he’s just a good natured loud patriot rolling with the punches of life.

86: He believes in the Judeo-Christian God, but also… believes the president is stronger than God? Sometimes? Depends on the situation. What is blasphemy haha?!?

87: Jane always wanted a puppy - meeting Bites, future Lieutenant, was like a dream come true to him.

88: Plus, he’d always liked raccoons - often responsible for tipping over dumpsters at his orphanage to help the little critters.

89: Jane can and will eat out of the garbage if not stopped.

90: He’s very passionate and strict about what he knows are fact (the issue is, facts can change pretty easily in jane’s head.

91: Good thing he has a helmet because Jane’s puppy-dog eyes are the sort that are clearly un-practiced and unintentional and thus made all the more soul-wrenching. 

92: He’s always surprised by doorbells.

93: Jane would never smoke weed of his own volition, but under the influence, everything would make So Much Sense to him.

94: I’m talking the wildest stoner sayings, that always are so structurally sound it’s scary.

95: This man loves cashews.

96: “Mm crunchy things.. good.” - Shared thought by Jane and Lt. Bites.

97: Lt. Bites likes to curl up on Jane’s stomach when he’s sleeping. Jane often wakes up with his face covered in scratches and fur in his mouth. Much like the Soldier, the Lieutenant isn’t quite a sound sleeper.

98: Fuck, like, he loves cashews so much? The texture is amazing.

99: Jane has no illegitimate or legitimate children.

100: Jane loves his team almost as much as he loves America.

101: IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR scroll back up and read everything, LOSER otherwise… wow………you love soldier. me too…… 

CONTINUED HERE

[charliebattinson]

BEST FRIENDS? | Best Friend! Shawn [BP] Part 1 | Shawn Mendes

A/N: Hello! I’m splitting this thing into two parts because it was so long haha. I just had so many ideas!! Honestly i’m such a sucker for the “best friends to lovers” trope it may be cliche as hell but it’s my fave. Part 2 has more of a storyline to it just in bullet point form! Also wanna thank @siennarossi, @innocent-before-mendes and @i-keep-craving-craving for advice and for helping me out! Hope you enjoy! Feedback is appreciated! Have a lovely day! ♡♡♡

☆ Read Part 2 here ☆

You moved to pickering when you were a kid and met Shawn when you were 4

He was your neighbor

Bedrooms facing each other

You always thought how stupid he looked trying to climb the tree that was impossible to climb at his age

Since you were new to town when you went to school you knew nobody

Playtime came and you saw shawn by the sandbox playing by himself

You walk to him and asked if you can play together

He was so shy "okay" red cheeks and all

Everything just hit off after that

You guys were attached to the hip

Walking to school holding hands or seating beside each other on the school bus

Some girls from school wanted to play with you and you were so happy to make more friends that you brought shawn with you but the girls said they don't play with boys

"But shawn goes with me wherever i go"

"I guess you can't play with us"

You ditch them for Shawn

“I’ll play your barbie dolls with you y/n”

Wouldn't it be cute to imagine when your parents open the door and look down to see kid shawn in his squeaky voice “Good afternoon Ms. y/l/n! Is y/n there?"

You guys loved watching barney together and singing the theme song

Role playing power rangers and pretending to be fighting each other

Till that one time you accidentally punched Shawn in the face and his nose bled

You always attend each other’s birthday parties and you always need each other by your side before blowing your birthday cake

You play husband wife sometimes

“y/n when were older im going to marry you”

“why shawn” “cause you’re my best friend”

Riding bikes together

Getting boo boos and helping each other out with the wound

“Here’s a bandaid Shawn it’s the barbie one”

Eating ice cream by the front porch

PLAYGROUND PLAYDATES

Giggling to each other while your both on the swings

Sometimes when there’s only one swing left Shawn would offer it to you and he’d start pushing your swing

Lots and lots of videos of you two when you were kids

Halloween time is always a fun time for the both of you because you guys to get to do matching costumes

One year would be you as Mario and Shawn as Luigi with the matching mustaches

“Hey how come you get to be Mario?” “Because I’m cooler Shawn”

another time would be Kim possible and Ron stoppable

another time as Spongebob and Patrick

then ferris and cameron from ferris bueller’s day off but no one ever really got who you were dressing up as that year

and that one time in school where you thought everyone was going to be wearing halloween costumes turns out only and shawn did

Horror movie marathons every halloween

You remember the time Shawn screamed like a girl

“Y/N please don’ tell anyone”

When its Christmas you would go out and make the weirdest looking snowman, snow angels, drinking hot cocoa, baking cookies for santa and opening presents while trying to stay up late and wait for Santa Claus to come out

“My father is the actual santa claus??” “You’re so dumb Shawn”

School plays together!!! Like little mermaid where you played a fish and shawn played a lobster

One of your school plays was also King Arthur

You were a local villager and shawn was the village idiot

Coloring coloring books together

Going to camp together during the summer

11 year old Shawn would be sporting braces and you would make fun of him when he got it

“HAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT YOUR METAL MOUTH”

“shawn close your mouth you’re blinding me”

You were a little bit taller than him at that age

You guys would constantly call each other names the kiddish kind

“TOE LICKER” “BUTT SNIFFER” “ONION BREATHE”

He would freak out when he sees your bra laying on the bed

But would also be there for you when you start to panic when you finally get your period

“you aren’t going to die y/n. please your making me scared what if you die, i’m gonna be all alone”

shawn gets so scared when you say a bad word by accident

“Y/n you know we’re not supposed to be saying bad words or we’ll go to hell”

You’re both appalled by kissing when your parents do it or when you’re watching a movie

“EWWWWWWWWWWW” “YUUCK”

“COOTIES EW”

“okay class! go and pick a partner”

🌚 🌝

Your whole family knows Shawn. Shawn’s whole family knows you

Uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. THEY ALL KNOW SHAWN.

Your family is so familiar to having Shawn around the house so when he’s not there they ask “where’s Shawn?”

High school rolls in and you’re both invited to your first ever high school party

“Y/n do I wear a tux to these parties?” “Idiot”

He ended up wearing Capri shorts and his Birkenstocks

“Please tell me you aren’t wearing socks with your birkenstocks” “well…”

You play 7 minutes in heaven and shawn goes in with a girl

When he goes out, the girl looks so weirded out by shawn

“Well..what happened?”

“She was leaning for a kiss and I got nervous I just screamed at her”

you try alcohol for the first time together in your room; you raided wine in your parents collection

you both spit it out right after

“POISON!!!”

16 year old you is wondering how tall Shawn got over the summer because you have to tilt your head up to look at him

He’s also gotten cuter over the summer no more braces and thank god he stopped wearing those birkenstocks

he’s still wearing those baggy khaki pants

The insults have upgraded

“You stupid lanky dickhead” “fuck you y/n”

You both swear like sailors now

You’re by your lockers and he just salsa dances and sing songs  “look who got an A on chemistry byotch”

You’re both each other’s first kiss you rather have it be your best friend than be it someone else who won’t matter in a couple of years

Also for practice because Shawn ’s been pinning over some chick named Stephanie the whole freshman year

“Come on y/n so you can tell me if I suck or not”

He sucked

“YOU KISSED ME LIKE IM A CPR DUMMY”

Sleepovers at each other’s houses

passing notes in between classes, shawn wanting to play tic tac toe

Doing homework together

Copying each other’s homework

“Pssst shawn what’s the answer to no. 5?”

“I was gonna ask you that!”

“fuck”

Shawn going up your window late at night because he’s tall enough to finally climb the tree

but also the idiot tried doing a stunt and ended up bringing down one of your pipes down with him

you guys would meet each other by the window to say good night

sometimes when he knows you feel bad he would stare at your window and write down a note saying “are you okay?” or “feel better”

You attended junior prom together

“Look at you Shawn looking so fancy in that tux”

You see Shawn’s cheeks redden “thanks y/n you look pretty”

You try to pin his boutonnière and he keeps joking around that you pricked his skin

Till you actually pricked his skin cause he was moving around too much “idiot”

Ditched after a while cause it was getting boring, you both just headed out to the local diner and ordered milkshakes

For senior prom, you had to find a date because Shawn asked someone else; you were a little sad because you’re just used to you and Shawn doing everything together

Watching the schools football games together by the bleachers

They made shawn the school mascot

“it is a sauna inside here and i can’t fucking see anything”

always going together to high school parties

fist bumping to levels by avicii (beacause it was a bop at that time tbh)

asking each others approval when you find someone hot

constructing each other’s sentences before hitting send to your crush

there’s a girl that likes shawn and she’s very confident and flirting around with him and shawn just mumbles trying to talk to her “yeah ugh no yeah totally but ugh yeah no”

You’re just watching him trying your hardest not to laugh

“pathetic”

Giving each other tips on making a move

“I watched that movie hitch and they said that if a girl lingers by the front door it means she wants you to kiss her”

“Shawn you gotta stop screaming at a girl when they try to go near you”

You tell each other who you lost your virginity to and judging so hard

“WHY BECKY?” “Sleeping simon are you serious?”

Also being each other’s person to look for support and comfort whenver you’re feeling down

Shawn would get your favorite ice cream and listen to you on your bed cuddled up to him”

“Hey shawn i got your favorite muffins. Please tell me what’s wrong with you”

Shawn would tell you to leave him alone under the covers and you would just go under the covers

Being lab partners

Shawn making you laugh when he does an impersonation of professor fink with his lab coat and goggles

“Well according to my calculations..”

GRADUATION DAY

You would be cheering for each other when you both get on stage

“LETS GO Y/N LETS GO!!!”

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT THERE”

Shawn would just blast “SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER” on his jeep on your way to your graduation party

He wore a fucking vest and a casual tie with converse to the party

“A vest shawn? Really?”

”yolo y/n yolo”

Booze is present and you both have had a bit too much

You see Shawn standing up on the table dancing to Daft Punk’s One More Time

You push Shawn into the pool but he’s quick to grab you leaving both of you underwater

Going to the park after and riding the swings just like when you were kids

Figuring out what colleges to apply to

both of you just staring at your acceptance letters

“Open yours first” “No! You open yours first”

“FINE I’LL READ YOURS, YOU READ MINE”

Jumping because you both got in

Luckily you both wanted to go to the same college with just different courses so the long distance friendship is off the books

You’re headed off to college to fix your dorm rooms

Shawn would be in such a school spirit he’s already wearing the college hat and hoodie

Shawn just starts playing “everybody lets go” song from dora the explorer in the car

“Here we go...”

☆ Read part 2 here ☆

[yoongihime]

Cheeky Bunny

 Hybrid!AU: Leopard!OC x Bunny!Kook Length: 4.1K (lol is this even a drabble anymore?) Genre: The Most Fluffy Fluff Type: Disney Drabbles ☞REQUEST HERE☜ Recommended OST: (x) Request By: @/kimtrain:“Don’t underestimate the importance of body language." love youuuu MJ so so much  (a/n): IDK OKAY? I REALLY IDK WHY IM SO SOFT. But anyways I this is so frickin fluffy idk anymore (read: I screamed a lot and wanted to smash my keyboard) and any comments are always appreciated, my inbox is open for you lovelies. 

Summary: You’re a predator and he’s the prey, so what happens when the tables finally turn for our dearest bunny? 

“(y/n), you’re fucking drooling.” Taehyung lands a particularly hard pat against the nape of your neck, immediately eliciting a hiss from you and a chuckle from him; your attention now regrettably snagged away from your little crush.

“You brat, that's not a good enough reason to grab my nape,” you hiss, your hands rubbing against the tender flesh. As felines, the neck area is off limits, it’s too intimate and oddly sensitive due to the period where parents would grab their litter my the scruff. So you find it absolutely necessary to repay to favor with a hard smack against his abdomen with your tail, causing a growl to bubble inside the lion-hybrid’s chest, his sunny demeanor evaporating and lips peeling back in act of dominance.

“Oh hush,” you dismiss, rolling your eyes and petting the thick fur of your tail, “You’re honestly acting childish, what are you? A big domestic cat?”

“Just because you are naturally a solitary breed does not excuse you from social norms, (y/n).” Taehyung firmly states, his ears twitching in his messy mop of golden hair. An involuntarily side effect of annoyance.

Well shit, you gone and pissed him off. Again.

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry,” you murmur, your steely blue eyes turning downcast and fluffy white ears laying low in a form of regret. You’re not exactly good with other creatures, since it’s in your nature to want to be prickly and sarcastic, but more often than not you come off as rude or completely awkward. You could say you were born this way. Taehyung lets you brew in your regret for approximately five seconds until the switch it flipped and he’s back to his grossly capricious self.

“Alright, alright that's enough serious talk to last another month, how about we go grab some lunch?” Taehyung suggests, his hand already pulling you closer to his body and his arm wrapping around your form, causing a smile to blossom on your face, taking comfort in his forgiveness. To the entire school you two are the perfect pair, despite the fact that your relationship with Taehyung is completely platonic, the student body seems drawn to the aura you two give off. Taehyung is the ever carefree feline, The Popular Kid everyone gets along with, from the wolves to the fawns, they’re all his loving admirers. At the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there’s you. You’re the icy princess, the rare snow leopard hybrid, with your piercing electric blue eyes and smokey grey hair, you’re the moon to Taehyung’s vibrant sun. It’s quite obvious that people are afraid to approach you, even the biggest predators in the school have difficulty holding a conversation, let alone the domestic creatures. As a cruel twist of fate, the object of your affections, the reason the sun rises and the moon cries, is-

“Hey, bunny!” Taehyung greets the retreating boy, his long strides coming to a halt as he turns to look at the two of you. His tail twitches, the fluffy black ball bouncing where he can’t, bunny ears popping up to match and he turns around with a nervous smile tugging the edges of his lips.

“Jungkook!” You half-yell, causing the boy to flinch in his spot, “Do you want to go have lunch with us?”

“I-I err,” Jungkook begins, his composure already melting by the degree from your attention, “I have a meeting to get to,” he practically spits out and bolts out of the room, causing you to freeze in your tracks, your spirits broken once again.

“H-he he did it again.” You sigh the sentence out, as if the harsh exhale would also expel your disappointment. Collapsing back into the chair, you let Taehyung blatantly laugh at your distress as you sulk in the bitter rejection. Jeon Jungkook, the resident film major and bunny hybrid, is your unrequited crush of two years. It’s not his fault that he’s uncomfortable around you, it’s only natural after all, but the boy goes through such great lengths to avoid you to the point where you’ve convinced yourself-

“He hates me.” You deliver the final blow, the statement cutting deeper into your bruised ego.

“He’s just intimidated, the poor kid is a bunny (y/n), and you look at him like you want to gobble him up.” Taehyung winks, making you groan and place your head none too gently on the surface of the table.

“It’s not intentional,” you bemoan, “he just looks so… sweet.”

“There you go again, stop using adjectives that describes food to talk about him! Delicious, irresistible and delectable are absolutely off limits too,” Taehyung lectures, “unless you’re describing me of course.” Taehyung notes your lack of response with an empathetic pat to your back,

“It’s easy (y/n), just relax a little.”

“What difference would that make?”

“You my dear, underestimate the importance of body language,” he insinuates with a wag of his eyebrows.

Almost as reflex, your tail whips out to punch him once again, but Taehyung is done with your antics and grabs the plush fur, causing you to hiss in surprise,

“Okay, okay let’s get you lunch before you claw my face off.”

“(y/n) and Jungkook, you’ll be partners for the upcoming project.”

It’s quiet. The ensuing silence is borderline comedic in it’s magnitude, sharp enough to cut and thick enough to suffocate, so much so that your professor tilts her chin down, her scrutinizing stare piercing through her -5.75 prescription glasses and her voice shattering the eerily tranquil lack of noise,

“I believe I am to take the silence as an affirmative?”

Jungkook fidgets in his seat, his nervous energy radiating off him in tangible waves that suffocates the air surrounding you, despite the fact that he is seated three rows away. When his back straightens and his lungs fill with more air than the usual capacity, you choke out a response before he could light your reputation along with his into fine-grained embers.

“Yes, m’am.”

His incredulity is apparent, even if you can’t see those precious eyes widen in front of you, he makes his vexation clear as day though the twitch of his ears and the occasional half turns he performs every few minutes to stare blankly at you. As the hours tick by, you begin to get restless. It’s not his fault, or yours for that matter, your senses are simply on high alert from the sheer amount of movement he’s making, his fear soaking into your skin, triggering your instincts to hunt.

As the thin thread of your self control begin to deteriorate, the bell rings, effectively snapping you out of your frenzy. Students begin to shuffle out of the room, along with the professor for her next lecture, but your hairs are still standing on end and you take longer than usual to gather your laptop and array of stationary into your backpack. When the grumbles about said hellish assignments fade, another sound perks you up from your packing, the sound of Jungkook’s sneakers squeaking to a stop in front of your desk. Silence gathers gradually, building up under his gaze until you’re drowning in it and have to look away with a clearing of your throat—

“So when do you want to meet up to do the project?” You zip up your backpack, settling it onto your shoulders and rising from your seat without meeting his gaze. Jungkook swallows, his resolve crumbling when you stand up because you’re that much closer to him and his pounding heart. He wanted to say that sentence, wanted to arrange a time and maybe get you to smile at him again today, but it’s impossible to concentrate when every cell of his being is screaming at him to run. So when your eyes meet his, the orbs chatoyant and inquisitive, he blurts out the first phrase that comes to mind which happens to be-

“I can do it.” He states it like a fact, like he is telling you that the sun rises east and sets west.

Curse that stupid fight or flight response.  

“W-what?” you splutter, your limited patience finally running out. It’s one thing to harbor personal feelings towards you but another completely to bash on your work ethic, so your body chooses the choice that he so easily abandoned: Fight.

“Listen Jungkook, I’m going to hope that you didn’t mean that just now and try again. So you really don’t like me, I get it. You’ve made that more than clear to me, so I don’t know why I keep trying like this.”

A sigh.

Jungkook is at a loss, his mouth opening only to close once again, the only consistency being the frown between this eyebrows and the strange twitching of his ears; his body as uncooperative as ever in this imperative moment.

“Maybe dislike is a bit too tepid,” your face sour, “maybe you even hate me.”

Your finger shoot up to hush him at his sudden look of panic.

Wow, your heart hurt.

Stupid, stupid bunny.

“Don’t worry I’m not going to pounce on you just because of your personal feelings,” you explain, but your claws are extended, “but I will not hesitate to do so when you’re bashing on my honesty and work ethic like this. Now, I’m open to work together during lunch and I have a free period for sixth. Come find me or whatever.”

Your ego is so bruised by this point you stumble haphazardly towards the end of row and closer to the neon exit sign, your escape. Fingertips brushing the metal doorknob, you’re pulled back by a strong grip on your wrist, and of course it’s Jungkook. He’s panting, as if those measly steps towards you required immense effort and if you weren’t so caught in your own bitterness you would have noticed the rose tinted hue coloring his cheeks and the faraway look residing in his eyes when you turned to meet his gaze.

“I-I don’t hate you.” Jungkook pleads, his eyes sincere and you hate how your heart leaps out of your chest at those three words. Not exactly an ‘I love you’ but at least that’s some progress.

“Please give me another chance, (y/n).”

Your anger wants to say no, to cut him off and drown in your own self pity, but his hold tethers you to reality and releases you from your childish emotions. Maybe it’s your stubborn ambition that wants to see him try his best, to pine for you as you have for him or maybe it’s the way your name rolls of his tongue, smooth like a melody, that convinces you to agree,

“Okay.”

“You’re here again today, bunny!” Taehyung greets Jungkook who looks up from his notebook to smile at the lion hybrid as he drapes his legs over the bench across from you. For the past week, Jungkook has been sitting with you at lunch and even near you during classes, his presence rivaling Taehyung’s during your days on campus.

You’ve gotten quite smitten with the boy, but your wounded pride refuses to accept that any of his precious displays of affection could mean anything more than friendship. Yes, the way his hand brushed yours as he picked up his assignment has nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to touch you, but didn’t know how to or the constant smile that appears on his face when he makes you laugh is most obviously one of curtesy for your sake. It has to be. You’d sooner believed that the boy would like you (let alone love you) than if he goes and tattoo ‘I <3 (y/n)’ on his forehead.

Yet the reality is indeed the opposite for the lovestruck bunny. You’re his poison and his cure, a step loving you is just a another step towards realizing how incredibly little of an impression he has in your eyes. To say Jungkook is frustrated by how lukewarm your reactions are to his efforts would be an understatement of enormous proportions; for goodness sake he swears you were not like this last week. So what gives? Oh right, him and his loose reflexes that’s what happened. At the verge of giving up, Jungkook looks pleadingly towards the golden boy across the table, his eyes conveying what his speech can’t.

Taehyung knew it was going to happen sooner or later, that poor bunny is reaching his breaking point. He’s not saying that this is Jungkook’s fault (because let’s face it you’re denser than a steel wall when it comes to romance, especially once you’ve been jaded by it), but he’s not going to say that the bunny is innocent in this either. So when those round, clear eyes turn his way as he was munching on his cheeseburger, Taehyung swallows thickly, knowing exactly what the brunette is asking of him.

“Hey (y/n), can you so get me a soda?” Taehyung interrupts your scribbling, your eyes looking from him to his half filled water bottle with apprehension.

“You have drink right there?” you question, clearly confused by his need for another beverage.

“Please? I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow, I’m really thirsty.” Taehyung pleads, his large hands coming to frame his face in a V and his eyes blinking rapidly in an attempt to act cute. Damn him and his beautiful face, if it was anyone else they would look like a Class 1 idiot, but Taehyung somehow pulls the stunt off with grace. You immediately cringe at the display but laughter blooms from your chest nonetheless,

“Okay, okay I’m going. No need to threaten me Tae.”

As you shuffle away, Taehyung turns his attention to the Jungkook. The boy was staring after you with so much longing Tae considering smacking the lovesick grin right off his face.

“So Jungkook,” Taehyung begins, causing those doe eyes to meet his scrutinizing ones, “maybe its just me, but I think you like my best friend.”

Jungkook splutters on the water he was sipping, his chest having up and down to ease the burning of his lungs.

“I- err ..yeah.” Jungkook’s noncommittal response drifts from his lips, if admitting it to Taehyung as difficult, how the hell was he going to say that to you? He grasps his chocolate brown locks messing up the already fluffy strands,

“But she doesn’t notice at all! I’ve been trying so hard.” Jungkook groans, his frustrations overwhelming his shyness for the time being.

“Listen, bunny. You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that for that girl to understand. She likes you too you know?” Taehyung says through a mouthful of fries, causing Jungkook’s ears to perk with interest but his face remains pouty and sad on the surface of the table.  

“I’ve been trying so hard though, Tae. Compared to before at least.” Jungkook sulks.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, my boy! She had hope before you went and shot all of that down and now her emotions are in Grade A lockdown prison called Denial. Unless you want to spell it out and tell her straightforwardly she’s not going to register any of it.”

Jungkook groans, his ears drooping with realization.

“So what do you suggests I do?”

Taehyung’s devilish smile is rather unsettling but Jungkook trusts the lion to not fail him and he draws closer for Tae to whisper into his soft ears.

You come back to a rather strange scene: Jungkook blushing profusely as Taehyung pinches his ear, cackling and whispering something into them only for the two of them to answer with guilty Nothing’s when prompted.

Finger quivering, you take in a deep breath before pressing the little doorbell. It elicits a light, soft sound inside the household, probably because bunny hybrids are sensitive to noises. You hear multiple thumps from the inside, no doubt the siblings Jungkook told you about, and three seconds later the boy himself appears in front of you. He looks amazing today as always, his brown locks ruffled and black ears sitting attentively on top along with a huge cream-colored sweater that he fills out all too well, completed by distressed jeans that seem to be screaming for air from his muscular thighs. As if he’s vocalizing your thoughts—

“You look beautiful today.” Jungkook compliments with a blush, his cheeks turning rosy and a cough is forced out of his chest as a way to avoid your eyes.

Only curtesy (y/n). He’s being polite. You chant mentally, not daring to search for any hidden meanings behind his words. Your body is a bit more honest with the way your ears seem to stand on end, and a dust of rose also makes an appearance across your features.

“Thank you,” you manage to reply, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

He seems to be encouraged by that, taking you by the hand and tugging you upstairs towards his room with some utterance of how his parents are away on a trip and that’s why he has to babysit the kids. His comments flow into one ear and out the other because all you process are your heartbeats ringing in your ears and the way his hand completely envelope yours.

God what is this boy trying to pull today? you mentally yell, praying that he won’t be able to feel your racing pulse through your adjoined hands.

“This is my room.” He announces, hand still firmly holding on to yours despite the fact that the two of you arrived at your destination.

It’s as if you’re seeing an extension of Jungkook between the rows of black and white film photos on the wall, the neat and tiny desk, as well as his color coded figurines down to his deep navy blue sheets that smells just like him.

“You’re so neat.” you breathe out, not knowing what to say when you’re so immersed in his scent you’re practically dizzy from the pheromones.

You pull away from his hold, not looking back to notice his pout and sitting down in his office chair, as far away from him as possible.

“Let’s get to work then!” You suggest, and he nods pulling another chair right next to yours, and leaning over to turn on the desk lamp. At this angle he’s close enough for your lips to brush his nape, the temptations making your canines ache. All too soon he leans back, his smile innocent and you had to exert all your self control not to groan in frustration.

You and Jungkook.

In his room, immersed in his scent.

With about two inches of space in between.

Yep, this was going to be the longest day of your life.

This has to be the most productive you’ve been in your entire life. Maybe it’s because this project is worth more than half your grade, or maybe it has something to do with the need to distract your mind from the bunny sitting next to you. You’re busy drawing up the next draft when—

“Kookie?”

“Oh my god it’s a mini Jungkook!” You exclaim before your mind realized what you were saying, but the tiny little boy at the door was too adorable to dismiss with just a glance. He’s simply too precious, with his short grey ears and round eyes, you barely held yourself back enough to scoop him up in your arms. Jungkook laughs at the wonder displayed on your face, a little jealous that his little brother would be able to steal your heart so easily when he couldn’t.

“Yes Jeonghyun?” Jungkook rushes to his little brother’s side, but the little boy only eyes you with apprehension as he pulls his older brother closer.

“Okay, okay don’t cry.” Jungkook soothes him, lifting him easily in his arms and walking away with him, but not before you spot the unmistakable glare the little bunny is throwing your way.

Great, his entire family hates me, you sigh, the thought more disturbing to you than you would have imagined.

“Hello? Earth to (y/n)?”

You blink, realizing that Jungkook has been trying to get your attention.

“Are you okay?” He prompts, his face a bit to close for your liking so you nod your head, not trusting your voice quite yet.

“C’mon I know you well enough to know when you’re sulking (y/n),” Jungkook places both hands on your cheeks, causing your eyes to widen, “What’s wrong?”

“Would your entire family be scared of me?” You whisper the question because even to you it sounds ridiculous and childish. Jungkook is surprised by the hurt in your voice, but it makes him realize how vulnerable you are right now, with your heart on your sleeve and tears pricking your eyes. You’re simply too soft, delicate enough for him to strengthen his resolve and pick you up princess style, plopping onto his bed with you snuggled tight on his lap.

“Jungkook—“ You tense in surprise, trapped on his legs with his chin resting on your right shoulder and his arms the lock to your makeshift prison.

“Of course not, (y/n). I’m not scared one bit.” Jungkook declares, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. To emphasize his point, his hands intertwine with yours, fingers grasping yours tight and his face nuzzles deeper into the crook of your neck, his nose skimming your sensitive nape, eliciting an involuntary pleased sigh from you.

“Jungkook, stop.” You plead, but your voice is much too weak and your body melts further into his hold. Why is he so strong for such a bunny? You never realized how broad he was until this moment, with your body so easily wrapped up into a harmless little bundle on his lap.

“Don’t wanna.” He protest, the childish tint to his voice only making you blush harder.

“You’re supposed to do this with someone you like.” You protest, but you’re as soft as dough in his grip at his point.

“You’re so dense you know that?” He pauses, beaming at you and you open your mouth to counter when he saying takes the chance to attack,

“I like you, you dummy.”

As if the crushing embarrassment crashed down on him all at once, he burrows his face back into your neck, letting you precess the words all by yourself, eyes glazed over and dreamy. It’s not until he begins to laugh that you snap back into reality,

“(y/n) why are you making that noise, it sounds like you’re choking on your meows.”

You completely heat up at that, burning much to hot to be suffocated on his lap.

“It’s called chuffing you dumb bunny,” you defend your self, cheeks overheating at this point,

“and it means I like you too.”

The pair of you soak in the moment until you hear Jungkook’s gentle musings, “Ah Jeonghyun is going to be even more upset,” he says as he kisses your temple, you’re so distracted from the feeling of his lips on your skin that you don’t even question it, but he graciously explains, “he’s a little jealous of you.”

You make a noise of acknowledgement, your brain overridden by your heart and its giddy thumps.

“It’s okay I like him more than you anyways.” You teasingly tell Jungkook, causing the bunny to flip you over on his lap so that you’re straddling him. Preparing yourself for a retort, your mind completely blanks when he surprises you with a kiss instead of a reply. He’s as sweet as you assumed in your daydreams, his lips gentle and hesitant against yours. Sugar melting on your tongue, you instantly crave more of him, his scent, his taste. True to your nature, you let out in impatient whine, having none of his gentleness when all you want to do is taste him properly. You pull him closer by the baby hairs on his nape, giggling slightly as he lets out a keen of surprise when you nip at his bottom lip and soothes it with your tongue.

“Serves you right, bunny.” You taunt, mirth filling your eyes and laughter ringing until he shuts you up with another kiss, his finishing statement making you splutter with shock—

“I love you, kitten.”

.

.

.

“So what do you suggest I do?”

Taehyung’s devilish smile is rather unsettling but Jungkook trusts the lion to not fail him and he draws closer for Tae to whisper into his soft ears.

“She really loves it when people call her kitten, why don’t you try that?”

“Wha—“

“Trust me.”

“What are you guys whispering about?”

“Nothing!”

[thatrastachick]

2017 : a rant

I never share this story for the pity sad looks or even the unbearably tight hugs. I really hate it. In fact i hardly share the exact story. The most you'll know is su got raped and kidnapped once upon a time. There was a point when i thought id be a survivor, not go off the deep end. Statistic and Su would never be in the same sentence. But reality check, it is. I am a number in an article about the woman and children who were raped in 2008 or whatever time period will suit the writer's expectations/opinions. Have i let it define me? In some ways yes. Yes i have. Its what keeps me up at night when i cant sleep. What makes me wonder whether i want to bring life to a world with so much evil. 2017 has seen many people kidnapped and raped. I say people because its not just violence against women and children. Its violence against everyone. I keep asking the question, whose idea was this? To raise the amount of people being violated in just a few months? I mean february just started. Whose idea was it to do this? And why? For heavens sake why? Whats so wrong with our country that this is what people resort to? Being kidnapped is a worse fate than being killed. In my humble opinion anyway. To feel so threatened that you never want to step out your house again is scary, especially when you thought you were safe this entire time. That you were somehow sheilded from the evils of the world. Then you wake up one day and it turns out youre not. Youre just as vunerable as the persons you see on tv, the missing persons reports you so deligently retweet or repost on your social media pages. My question has always been this. What can we do to ensure it never happens? Nothing. Nothing at all. You can just try really hard to ensure it doesnt happen to you and even then are you really safe? What has happened in our society that some men think this is okay? That this is acceptable? How can you possibly change the outlook of an entire nation? Why are we so ready to accept when persons make rape jokes? Why do we use such serious words to try to describe an experience? Especially when the possibility of other words to convey our emotions exist? Why would you say "this exam rape me"? Why would you liken the traumatic experience of many around you, some who you may not even be aware of to something so...trivial in comparison? Social media has a way of making us feel like we're being activists when we really aren't. Putting on a specific colour shirt to show that you stand with victims/survivors does not do as much as you think. Outside of the fact that the "movement" would have to be known to the general population, seeing that stand for one day isnt going to prompt a victim to want to talk about it or relive the experience. Personally for me it makes me upset. Why? Because alot of it is just for show. How many people remeber about the cause after the day is gone? How many people will actually back up their talk? How many of those same people have made jokes about being raped? The questions go on. Point is. Dont be so naive to think that your one day in black will give a victim the help they need. People claim to want to be there, to want to listen but hardly follow through. There's so many other ways to help. So many other things that wont just look like a photo op to the populace. If you want to effect change, be that change. Some people consider it an act of bravery to share your story. Does that mean not sharing it makes you a coward? I dont know but i do know that im terrified to even think about the events of that day let alone share them in detail.Not saying a few havent heard the full details, they have, and every time i tell it i have to steel myself and pretend it doesnt phase me. Because who wants to be a blubbering mess?

[xurkitips]

On Conveying Personality Through Chatroom-style Dialogue

A friend of mine shared screenshots of a roleplay he was having via a Discord server, wherein the style was chatroom/texting based. Each character would have a different style of typing completely unique to their person. Though unfamiliar with all of them, I could see what their personalities were like

Like real human beings, a character very much so has a “voice”. I mean that both in the literal sense, through their manner of speaking and what they say, but also through their self expression, interests, and actions. This carries over into the digital realm in ways we may not even notice. Text messages may not be verbal, no, but there are ways to show inflection.

There are many, many ways to show meaning through text. Here are some that I’ve picked up and utilized with my own characters:

Sentence structure

all lowercase sentences VS Grammatically correct

Lowercase gives off the feeling of someone familiar with others or willing to become familiar. It lacks the tension of formal writing, complete with its capitalization and proper periods ending sentences, and feels very casual and approachable. It may also be a sign of someone who doesn’t care much about perfection, a lazy person, or an easy going individual. Seems like a lot of internet regulars prefer this kind of typing style.

“im dying

‘deafening horrorcore rap’ ok i listen to literal noise and idk what this even is”

Using a properly capitalized and punctuated style is very formal, like one would see in a book, an official email, etc. It’s more serious and stern than lowercase is and may imply an older, more mature person typing...or maybe just someone trapped on their phone at the mercy of autocorrect. 

"I am always happy to see you, even if you are not feeling your best.“

“It's nice here.

Quiet.”

There’s a certain respectful steadiness to it as well. It can be calming to read at times.

Punctuation VS Lack of punctuation

End-stopped lines come with both a pause and a bit of a pointed and direct feeling. It strengthens both lowercase and grammatically correct styles, but in different ways. In conjunction with “proper” writing, it’s less noticeable, merely giving the reader a moment’s pause. In conjunction with lowercase, especially if the one typing isn’t keen on using periods, it can come off as stern, serious, passive-aggressive, or angry.

“whatever.

it's less excruciating than it would be without it.”

Removal of punctuation is a different story. Typically just shown with lowercase, it leaves it with that casual feeling intact, or like one’s sentences are more like quick thoughts or questions. Removing them from grammatically correct sentences does ease off some of the tension, implying someone with a more neutral-positive tone while still being more mature. 

“I’m not terribly good with conversation”

And then there’s the run-on sentences from those who type small novels per response. Usually complete with multiple and’s. It’s a sign of nervousness, enthusiasm, or oftentimes a younger character...

“actually i don't know much about it i just happened to see something online and it's apparently only manufactured overseas exclusively for this one particular shop and they made the original design and initial product i guess”

Oof.

Proper spelling (or lack thereof)

The better the spelling, the more the likelihood of the person being older, calmer, or neutral. There’s also a sense of being well educated or careful about one’s typing. Perhaps a confident air may exude from what they say, too.

“Can you come help me for a moment?”

Those who make a lot of mistakes will simply confuse words for other words, forget apostrophes, or type too fast to notice things missing or in the wrong location. Some just don’t really care enough or are too tired to deal with it. Too much focus and people know what they mean anyway. Probably.

“i laug hso hard hes come runin

he thougt i aws dyin”

It can also happen in very emotional situations, in bouts of laughter, crying, rage, or when one is drowsy, medicated, or sick. It tends to stand out when one’s style is suddenly very, very different and tips others off to something being wrong.

Younger characters, especially kids, also make spelling mistakes all the time depending on their age, whether due to sounding out words or just in a hurry to reply.

Short sentence fragments, single words, and lengthy paragraphs

Sometimes people with rapid-fire thoughts, who are excited, busy, stressed, or angry, will take to quick and short responses (sometimes of many fragments in a row). These show a similar feeling as do lines of poetry. Stacking small fragments on top of one another adds emphasis. The reader has to read them one by one rather than as a straight sentence. On its own, the word or fragment stands out and becomes more important.

"well

yeah thats

what i was tryina do

but i mean”

I’ve seen it used used for storytelling from one person to another in larger chunks of things, quick responses, for poetic value, and in irritation or passive-aggressiveness.

In full sentence conversations sent in short bursts, it’s also allowing the reader pause to read each comment without it feeling like a novella. Though it can also feel like someone is obnoxious, rambling on and on as the notifications keep coming, or has a lot to talk about and keeps thinking of more.

Then there are those who type rather large responses all at once instead of hitting the enter key with every sentence:

"Whoever did it was quite thorough; either the power in that area of the lab was cut while we were distracted or they tampered with the security cameras, because that footage is missing. But, we have some theories now. It had to have been someone with direct access to the laboratory. I hesitate to place blame on any of my coworkers...they're all my trusted companions and friends! And yet...”

It’s concise and a solid, complete story in one spot. Could be someone who loves to talk, could be someone who didn’t want a response before they were done talking. It’s also commonly seen by middle-aged texters who want to say everything they can all at once.

Exclamation points and Question marks

Simple one here. Question mark for a question or confusion, exclamation point for emphasis or an exclamation. But when a person adds multiple to a sentence it can convey more of the person’s feelings; 

“are you okay??”

Here is someone who is very concerned. Multiple question marks can imply things such as worry, stress, disbelief, and shock. There’s a sense of hurry and tension. Perhaps the person on the other end is frightened, easily afraid, or tends to have an overwhelming reaction to things.

“oh!!! it’s nice to see you!!!”

"! 

!!! 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, multiple exclamation points convey much more friendlier, happier tones. Often such things as surprise, excitement, happiness, friendliness. Users typing !! as a punctuation (like I tend to do) may do it as an assurance or to show how thrilled they are to talk. Occasionally !!!! is tacked onto an angry statement to be more of a shout, but I see it less and less.

Chatspeak and Internet habits

Shortenings of words have been a regular thing for ages. It’s easy, convenient, and gets the point across quickly. But the internet has taken it to a new extreme, where sentences can be almost entirely compromised of them.

“wtf r u talkin abt?? gdi man idk wuts even happening rn”

A character wanting to be quick to respond, always on the ball, always involved, may be more likely to utilize and understand chatspeak. They’re the social butterfly of the group. It’s also a sign of a long-time internet lurker who’s aware of what the lingo is, and how to use it. A complete lack thereof points toward either an older user or someone who’s unused to social media.

The more memes, the harder someone is trying to fit in. Or maybe they’re easily amused or just absorbed things from their friends without thinking about it. The comedian of the group is going to know the best ways to use them.

Smilies and Emojis

:D D: :DDD // :3 3: >:3 :3c // :o :O O:<

These kinds of smilies have always struck me as the most friendly. Whether used in devious ways or with genuinely heartwarming intentions, the playful, lightheartedness of the user really shines through these. 

"not a bad way to spend a lazy day :D”

“it's also my birthday :3″

It’s got just the right vibe to punctuate a sentence that’ll leave the reader feeling that the person likely means no harm or wants to be friendly, positive, or encouraging. I’ve met a lot of people that use these and turn out to be very kind or considerate people.

:), ;), ((((: and related

A long time positive, friendly smiley. 

"You said you've known them a long time? I think they would understand. :)”

And yet these days I tend to associate it with passive aggressive statements, plotting, slyness, devious behavior, or anger. Older users may be inclined to use :) as a means to show their emotional state, but newer users seem more inclined to do the opposite. The more parentheses there are, the more upset the person, it seems.

“man don’t u love it when the power’s out in the middle of the night it’s just (((: really great thanks (((((:”

Then the ;) smiley comes off more specifically flirty and a bit playful. Doesn’t seem to change much there.

“if i find a good chance 2 hook u up ill do my best ;)”

XD

The bane of my teenage existence. It’s a more old school sign of laughter, rarely seen in today’s world due to falling out of favor and becoming associated with, “LOL Rawr XD Tacos I’m So Randoom,” culture. But time to time you do see it. Mostly with sarcasm but sometimes with genuine intentions.

“xDddddDDD

It was a good joke. XD”

A character using it genuinely comes off more playful, and to me, personally, as an older person who’s genuinely unaware of the associations with the smiley itself trying to show how they laughed without using LOL. 

Letter/Character smilies

Y’know, things like .w. and ._. or owo, where the letters or symbols make a face. These are fairly popular, it seems. I don’t like using them myself, but know a few who do use them.

"I'm sorry that they can be mean qmq”

It’s a different feel from the others. There’s something soft to it, almost a gentleness. When these or Japanese characters are used, there’s more whimsy. It’s cute and almost a bit feminine. It may convey an open person or give the impression that said person is easier to talk to.

Though honestly I can’t see uwu and owo as anything but heavily sarcastic. I’ll be honest with you.

Emojis

The first rule of Xurkitips club is that we don’t talk about Emoji Movie. Just putting that out there riiight now.

Used sparingly by most for fun and for emphasis. Characters may use them to be lighthearted, aesthetically, joke, or to make a conversation more flavorful. The use of emojis may determine a character’s personality; I find that characters who use hand emojis like 👌 are rather laid back, those who use 🙃 do it passive aggressively, and we all know what kind of person uses 🍆.

Then there’s what in common terms known as, “The DudeBro”:

[MFKNSTARBOI]: the thing i never undstood about hair is why people buy shampoo like regular soap not good enough for you LMAO 😂😂😂

[gostones]: .

[BIGDICKTOYOTA69]: what the fuck man

[ahogekun]: do... you not use shampoo

[MFKNSTARBOI]: aaaah you guys got sucked into big shampoo as well 😔

[MFKNSTARBOI]: When it comes to horses 🐎  the stars in the sky ✨ or just man to man no bullshit advice 👬 IM youre guy 😤😂

I think this one speaks for itself.