#when i started this blog I wondered if I even should tag posts as ace or not

[just-nebularomantic-things]

Nebularomantic culture is not feeling like you belong.

You don’t want to be grouped in with the allos because you have your own unique experience and love embracing your identity, but you also don’t feel like you’re “aro enough” because of the fact that your identity causes you to love more rather than love less… doesn’t help how heated things can get in the aspec community and even just watching from the sidelines makes you anxious..

❀

[oh-snapperss]

for any of my followers (especially those of you who ship, and I'd imagine that's most of you) who have ever wondered about why the ship tag exists, i urge you to read this post! if you don't tag shipping, it's not hard to start now. we, as a fandom like to describe ourselves as welcoming, kind, and willing to create a safe space for everyone who participates. by using the hermitshipping, trafficshipping, and other mcyt ship tags as appropriate per fandom, you help create a welcoming environment for everyone.

I know we all like to use the phrase "curate your own experience", which is true! However, that's where the tagging system becomes so important. By using ship tags, you make it possible for others to curate their experience to what they want to see and feel comfortable with. Aro and ace spectrum people deserve to be able to enjoy the fandom just as everyone else does.

I know that there's discussion on whether reblogs should be tagged or not (I do encourage them to be, if OP didn't tag it originally and it's clearly a shipping work). Original posts should always be tagged if the poster intends it to be a ship.

I don't look to start discourse here or police how someone runs their blog--but this shouldn't even be a conversation when it comes to how (not if) we as a community make a safe space for aroace spectrum people.

i feel like a lot of the mcyt fandom doesn’t realize this but i guarantee you, a lot of us don’t want to see shipping content not because we think it’s rpf or something, but because we aromantic people are so fucking tired of seeing ship content all over the internet that when there is a DEDICATED TAG FOR FILTERING SHIPPING IN A FANDOM we’re rightfully a little pissed when people neglect to use use it. and we’re also rightfully a little pissed when others come in and tag our works as ships in reblogs in a fandom that appears to be generally respectful of ship boundaries.

it’s all about respecting comforts until your ship duo interacts and then it’s untagged romance posting on the dash. it’s all about respecting comforts until someone personally tells you that your tag made them uncomfortable and then it’s complaining that people are being immature and that they don’t know how your tagging system works. it’s why i physically could not finish watching double life and i had to have the tag filtered for nearly a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR because people would not tag their ships. it’s why i stopped telling people about my boundaries because somebody talked shit about me literally in front of one of my FRIENDS for doing so.

the mcyt fandom has probably been where i felt safest as a romance-adverse aro, and a lot of my fellow aros feel the same. don’t change this for us. it’s just one tag to help us out.

[the-blind-geisha]

okay listen, it's so damn late and I told myself to leave the next message to your for tomorrow but I cannot help myself. And it's because I saw something interesting you added to your post.

I mean those aesthetic thing. I'm gonna be honest dear, I'm cringing when I look at this...

...because I'm the person who did them.

Damnit, Oreana! you indirectly exposed me in like, third respond to my anon messages??!! I'm beyond angry but in a very good way. In very exciting way.

And as much as I cringe at these edits (cuz I could do better now!), I cannot describe how happy I am to know you still kept that. It's... such an amazing feeling. I'm beyond happy that I might even shed a tear or two. Absolutely amazing. And I'm absolutely thankful cuz holy eff. You don't even know how much. Truly. It can be seen as nothing but thanks so much for having them saved. Although I must say I saw that you still have them on your blog. Amazing feeling, that it wasn't deleted. Ah, I meant I wouldn't mind if you deleted them! After all, it was something made for ac so yeah!

Yes I start to ramble, sorry, but I'm so so so so thankful.

Thank you, dear. Truly, thank you.

But well that should explain to you how I remember that Emmett had the ability to change into the horse. I never forgot, nor I forgot your Oreana. Holy eff, I even remember how I started to simp to her brother (I hope it was her brother) and I requested a short fic with him.

AHGGG this is beyond exciting! Kinda overwhelming too, especially for 2am.

Anyway, don't you dare think I'm gonna ignore the talk about overlord, happy farm and demiurge. I'm gonna get there, I'm just too excited to share this all and expose myself even further.

But I will say that I'm glad to hear you beat the anemia's ass. That's always good to hear tho but yes. Slay!

But truly, damit Oreana. I cannot believe this happened. And I cannot believe I wrote this instead of acting normal.

Love you, dear. Even after all of those years.

- Pandemonium

(sorry if I don't respond immediately to your potential reaction to this. it's truly too late here but I just, couldn't help myself)

So it IS you! ♥ Funny thing... you said Emmett turning into a horse, and yeah—he could in Oreana's version of her world as that was his dream land animal form—BUT...I still remember when you had that Horseman idea, and Emmett would even turn into her steed! Funny story to add onto that one: Cheshire, Demona's NPC in Overlord, actually took some of the ideas from that where his little necklace turns into a shield when he transforms. X”D

Wow. No fooling?? OMG, I'm so glad you're okay! ;~; I sadly couldn't give you a name, because I know you changed blogs so often that I couldn't really give you one! But yeah! I remember you! And of course I kept them! I have ALL those edits. All of them. ♥ Just because the fandom hurt me didn't mean I ever wanted to be rid of the treasures people gifted me. ♥♥ I even have the one you did of Oreana's older brother.

I think it's because I changed my name. It used to be one word, remember? Now it's The-Blind-Geisha (because I swear if I heard someone make the joke 'hate a house' one more time, I'd riot lol). But they are under 'for me' tag:

I also have this one still I know you did:

Yeah! Her brother Emuntin! ♥ We even did a small RP about that, I think?? Goodness, it's been so dang long! Good memories though!

Awwwr, still! It was a joy to read! ;^; Thank you so much again, hon. It was wonderful to catch up with you!

Love you too, hon! I am so relieved during this crazy time you're okay. ♥♥ Puts my mind and heart at ease.

(Sleep, silly! You deserve it!) ♥

[evanescentjasmine]

I’m going to talk about a little pet peeve of mine with regard to portrayal of poc in fic, TMA specifically since that’s what I mostly read and write for. 

I suppose I should first start by saying that, of course, poc are not a monolith, and I’m certain there are other poc who have many different views on this issue. And also this post is in no way meant to demonise, shame, or otherwise discourage people from writing poc in fic if they’re doing something differently. This is just a thing I’ve been noodling on for a while and have had several interesting conversations with friends about, and now that I think I’ve figured out why I have this pet peeve, I figured I’d gather my thoughts into a post.

As a result of the fact we have no canonical racial, ethnic, or religious backgrounds for our main TMA cast, we’ve ended up with many diverse headcanons, and it’s absolutely lovely to see. I’m all for more diversity and I’m always delighted to see people’s headcanons. 

However, what often happens is I’ll be reading a fic and plodding along in a character’s PoV and get mention of their skin colour. And nothing else. I find this, personally, extremely jarring. In a short one-shot it makes sense, because you’re usually touching on one scenario and then dipping out. Likewise if the fic is in a different setting, is cracky, or is told from someone else’s PoV, that’s all fine. But if I’m reading a serious long-fic close in the poc’s head and...nothing? That’s just bizarre to me.

Your heritage, culture, religion, and background, all of those affect how you view the world, and how the world views you in return. How people treat you, how you carry yourself, what you’re conscious of, all of that shifts. And the weird thing is that many writers are aware of this when it comes to characters being ace or trans or neurodivergent—and I’m genuinely pleased by that, don’t get me wrong. Nothing has made my ace self happier than the casual aceness in TMA fics that often resonates so well with my experience. But just as gender, orientation, and neurodivergence change how a character interacts with their world, so do race, ethnicity, and religion. 

As a child, I spent a couple of years in England while my mother was getting her degree. Though I started using Arabic less and less, my mother still spoke to me almost exclusively in Arabic at home. We still ate romy cheese and molokhia and the right kind of rice, though we missed out on other things. She managed to get an Egyptian channel on TV somehow, which means I still grew up with different cultural touchstones and make pop-culture references that I can’t share with my non-Arabic-speaking friends. She also became friends with just about every Egyptian in her university, so for those years I had a bevy of unrelated Uncles and Aunties from cities all over Egypt, banding together to go on outings or celebrate our holidays.

As an adult who sometimes travels abroad solo, and as a fair-skinned Arab who’s fluent in English, usually in a Western country the most I’ll get is puzzled people trying to parse my accent and convinced someone in my family came from somewhere. When they hear my name, though, that shifts. I get things like surprise, passive-aggressive digs at my home region, weird questions, insistence I don’t look Egyptian (which, what does that even mean?) or the ever-popular, ever-irritating: Oh, your English is so good!

At airports, with my Egyptian passport, it’s less benign. I am very commonly taken aside for extra security, all of which I expect and am prepared for, and which always confuses foreign friends who insisted beforehand that surely they wouldn’t pull me aside. Unspoken is the fact I, y’know, don’t look like what they imagine a terrorist would. But I’m Arab and that’s how it goes, despite my, er, more “Western” leaning presentation. 

This would be an entirely different story if I were hijabi, or had darker skin, or a more pronounced accent. I am aware I’m absolutely awash with privilege. Likewise, it would be different if I had a non-Arab name and passport. 

So it’s slightly baffling to me as to why a Jon who is Pakistani or Indian or Arab and/or Black British would go through life the exact same way a white British character would. 

Now, I understand that race and ethnicity can be very fraught, and that many writers don’t want to step on toes or get things wrong or feel it isn’t their place to explore these things, and certainly I don’t think it’s a person’s place to explore The Struggles of X Background unless they also share said background. I’m not saying a fic should portray racism and microaggressions either (and if they do, please take care and tag them appropriately), but that past experiences of them would affect a character. A fic doesn’t have to be about the Arab Experience With Racism (™) to mention that, say, an Arab Jon headed to the airport in S3 for his world tour would have been very conscious to be as put together as he could, given the circumstances, and have all his things in order. 

And there’s so much more to us besides. What stories did your character grow up with? What language was spoken at home? Do they also speak it? If not, how do they feel about that? What are their comfort foods? Their family traditions? The things they do without thinking? The obscure pop-culture opinions they can’t even begin to explain? (Ask me about the crossover between Egyptian political comedy and cosmic horror sometime…)

I’m not saying you’ll always get it right. Hell, I’m not saying I always get it right either. I’m sure someone can read one of my fics and be like, “nope, this isn’t true to me!” And that’s okay. The important thing, for me, is trying.

Because here’s the thing. 

I want you to imagine reading a fic where I, a born and raised Egyptian, wrote white characters in, say, a suburb in the US as though they shared my personal experiences. It’s a multi-generational household, people of the same gender greet with a kiss on each cheek, lunch is the main meal, adults only move out when they get married, every older person they meet is Auntie or Uncle, every bathroom has a bidet, there’s a backdrop of Muslim assumptions and views of morality, and the characters discuss their Eid plans because, well, everyone celebrates Eid, obviously.

Weird, right? 

So why is this normal the other way around? 

Have you ever stopped to wonder why white (and often, especially American) experiences are considered the default? The universal inoffensive base on which the rest is built? 

Yes, I understand that writers are trying to be inoffensive and respectful of other backgrounds. But actually, I find the usual method of having the only difference be their skin colour or features pretty reductive. We’re more than just a paint job or a sprinkle of flavour to add on top of the default. Many of us have fundamentally different life experiences and ignoring this contributes to that assumption of your experience being universal. 

Yes, fic is supposed to be for fun and maybe you don’t want to have to think about all this, and I get that completely. I have all the respect in the world for writers who tag their TMA fics as an American AU, or who don’t mention anyone’s races. I get it. But when you have characters without a canonical race and you give them one, you’re making a decision, and I want you to think about it. 

Yes, this is a lot of research, but the internet is full of people talking about themselves and their experiences. Read their articles, read their blogs, read their twitter threads, watch their videos, see what they have to say and use it as a jumping-off point. I’m really fond of the Writing With Color blog, so if you’re not sure where to start I’d recommend giving them a look. 

Because writers outside of the Anglosphere already do this research in order to write in most fandoms. Writers of colour already put themselves in your shoes to write white characters. And frankly, given the amount of care that many white writers put into researching Britishisms, I don’t see why this can’t extend to other cultural differences as well.

[funnyincorrectmcu]

Saw you were doing an ask spree so I have a question! What are your ultimate favourite Marvel fanfics? (Ao3 answers preferable!)

OOOH!!! 

I ALWAYS LOVE THIS QUESTION!! But it’s also always SOO hard, because I have SO many fics that I ADORE! <3 <3 <3 

Okay okay. Since you’re asking for ultimate favorites, but since you’re also in a sense kind of asking for recommendations, I’ll do you a solid and give you a list of fifteen (which is really doing myself a solid because it means there are fewer that I have to narrow down). 

That said, if you really want my full list, go to my AO3 account and check out my bookmarks (and some of my works, if you’re interested!). Because there truly are a LOT of AMAZING writers out there. <3 <3 

Alright. Here goes nothing. 

Also, I am SO sorry this took me so long, but it took me forever to narrow down to fifteen, and even with THAT, I cheated. XD

Also also, fair warning, 95% of these are Tony and Peter centric. <3 

Also also also (lots of also’s, oops XD), I’m gonna give a little bit of info on each one for anyone interested, but PLEASE, read all tags and warnings before you actually start reading, because some of these are a little rougher than others. (Btw, when I say “major warnings”, I’m referring to AO3′s “major archive warnings” list.)

1. More Ancient Than Magic by @ironfamjam 

This is a mini Hogwarts AU that I absolutely ADORE and think about at least once a week. The way the author melds the two universes is incredible and so well done, and I quote it all the time.  One-shot, IronFam centric, featuring Ned and MJ, with special guest appearances from the other Avengers and Peter’s classmates. No major warnings. 

2. Everybody Loves Skip by @baloobird

Okay, Kris is my favorite MCU fanfic author of all time, so you’ll see her on here a couple of times. This is by far my favorite story of hers, and it’s what made me fall in love with Interwebs. <3 <3  Multichapter, Peter centric, featuring Ace!Peter and Interwebs, with special guest appearances from Tony, May, and Tracy Leeds. Minor sexual harassment/non-con, but it doesn’t get too graphic. 

3. Ohana by @jen27ny

I read this story as a part of last year’s Irondad Big Bang, and let me tell you, I was SOOO invested. I got to the point where I had to send in play by play reactions because I was so emotionally invested. The story is so well told. <3 Multichapter, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Pepperony, Spideychelle, and minor Stucky, with special guest appearances from the rest of the Avengers, HYDRA, and my fast beating heart. No major warnings. 

4. Come, My Darling, Homeward Bound by @i-am-irondad

ANOTHER Irondad Big Bang 2020 story that I became OVERLY invested in to the point that I had to send play by plays in to the author. It’s a Room AU, and she NAILS each and every one of the character dynamics. I never even saw Room, and I loved it. <3  Multichapter, Tony, Peter, and Morgan centric, featuring the rest of IronFam, Spideychelle, and adorable sibling moments, with special guest appearances from Quentin Beck and my tears. Minor implied sexual harassment/non-con. (She also has a prequel and a sequel, just so you know.) 

5. The Lightning Strike by @booksxtvxsupernatural

Yet ANOTHER Irondad Big Bang 2020 story that hit me right in the feels. This is a canon-divergent post-Infinity War fic, and the way the author shows how events could’ve transpired is so realistic and beautiful. <3  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Harley Keener and Nebula, with special guest appearances from IronFam, May Parker, and several other Avengers. 

6. Family Doesn’t End with Blood by @baloobird

This is a series of one-shots by my girl Kris based off of the Irondad Bingo prompts, so there are a lot of different prompts and themes, but they ALL rock.  Multichapter, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Ace!Peter, IronFam, and Interwebs, with special guest appearances from several other MCU characters. Warnings vary, so pay attention to the tags and read the notes. 

7. I love you more than anything (bio dad AU) by @iron--spider

Okay, so maybe this is cheating, because it’s technically a series, but every fic in it is so good that I couldn’t possibly pick just one. I just love the whole series, because I love how the author builds their relationship. It’s so cute. <3  Series of one shots, Tony and Peter centric, featuring the rest of the Stark and Parker family and baby Peter, with special guest appearances from Obadiah Stane, James Rhodes, and Happy Hogan. No major warnings.

8. sometimes, people just die (and sometimes, they don’t) by @snarky-drabbles

This one was for the 2019 Irondad Secret Santa (huh. No wonder so many of them are Tony and Peter centric. XD), and it’s an amazing time loop story that takes place during Endgame and has an ending you might not expect, but it ROCKS.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric from Peter’s POV, featuring Pepper Potts and Stephen Strange, with special guest appearances from a whole lot of fighting. XD 

9. A Rite of Passage by @baloobird

Another ADORABLE Interwebs from my favorite person, because she made me obsessed with this ship and now I can’t stop. XD  One-shot, Interwebs centric (wait, did I actually find one that isn’t Tony and Peter??), featuring Ace!Peter and Bi!Ned, with special guest appearances from Brad Davis, Flash Thompson, and Betty Brant. Minor sexual harassment/non-con, but nothing graphic at all. 

10. Where Dreams are Nightmares in Disguise by @baloobird

This one was actually written for me, by Kris, so obviously, it made this list. I seriously cannot thank her enough for writing this amazing fic for me based on my prompt, and for writing it so well! I LOVED IT! <3  One-shot, Tony, Peter, and Morgan centric, featuring Pepper Potts and lots of LEGOS, with a special guest appearance from a really bad dude. No major warnings. 

11. harm and foul by @iron--spider

You know, there’s a lot of Tony protecting Peter out there, but sometimes, I just really wanna see Peter protecting Tony, and this is a GREAT example of that.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring IronFam, Ned Leeds, and bada** mofo Peter Parker, with special guest appearances from Justin Hammer and a few Avengers. No major warnings.

12. Sugar, Butter, Flour by @doctornineandthreequarters

Another one written for me, this time by the incredible Jaime for the 2019 Irondad Secret Santa, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. She took my prompts to heart and created some BEAUTIFUL sibling bonding and I LOVE it!! <3 <3  One-shot, Peter, Harley, and Morgan centric (whoa. Another one without Tony. See? I have variety! ...kind of. XD), featuring Pepperony and adorable sibling love, with a special guest appearance from a Karen. No major warnings. 

13. Bite the Bullet by @baloobird

In case you haven’t figured it out, yet, I love you, Kris. XD <3 Another amazing ace story that gets me feeling all kinds of validated and loved. <3  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Spideychelle, Ace!Peter, and Ace!Tony, with a special guest appearance from BFF Ned and lots of lovely ace acceptance. No major warnings. 

14. what is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives by @lyssismagical

So, I started reading her works solely through Tumblr, and when I finally realized that she had an AO3, I went on there and bookmarked a TON of her stories immediately. This is one of her more recent ones, but it’s one of my faves, even with all the whump (being Whumptober and all). It has a positive ending, I promise.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring amazing BFF Michelle Jones, protective Peter Parker, and adorable little sister Morgan Stark, with special guest appearances from Pepper Potts, May Parker, and a lot of family love and support. Rape/non-con, but it isn’t super graphic. 

15. Peaches by @peterparkrr

This was yet another Irondad Secret Santa 2019 fic, and while this one wasn’t written specifically for me, I freaking loved it. There’s so much tension and mystery in this, and I seriously thought I was gonna pass out reading it from all of my worry. But, luckily, it has a happy ending.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring canon divergence and lots of references to other Avengers, with a special guest appearance from a terrible government. No major warnings.

And there’s my top 15! But, because I said I was cheating, here are two bonus fics that cannot be found on AO3. I know you prefer AO3, but trust me when I say you cannot pass these up. 

1. This fic by @loubuttons

This was posted directly to Tumblr, but I have it saved in screenshots on my phone and I re-blog it all the time because I absolutely ADORE it. I will always be down for Peter and Morgan fics, especially when Tony is involved, and this one touches my heart like no other.  One-shot, Tony, Peter, and Morgan centric, featuring protective big bro Peter Parker and Tony being an amazing parent, with special guest appearances from equally awesome Pepper Potts and May Parker. No major warnings. 

2. He’s My Intern? by losingmymindtonight (if they have a Tumblr, I don’t know it, so if anyone knows it, please find them and tell them they’re awesome)

This one was posted on FF.net, and it was actually one of the first Tony and Peter stories I ever read, and it BLEW me away. This one is another series of one-shots, but each one is filled with soft Tony and Peter moments and I love it.  Multichapter, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Happy Hogan, Bruce Banner, F.R.I.D.A.Y., and all the hurt/comfort you could possibly want, with special guest appearances from Pepper Potts, May Parker, Ned Leeds, and several other Avengers. No major warnings.  

Okaaaaay. I think that’s it?? 

Wow. That took me FOREVER. 

And I’m not even sorry, because all of these authors deserve ALL of the credit I gave them. 

Thank you so much for asking this! I hope I didn’t bore you or babble too much. XD 

All of you should definitely check out these amazing fics! They 100% deserve the praise! <3 <3 

Thanks again for asking! <3 

[megatownac]

Note: The original version of this post got messed up in formatting, so I’m trying it again. Sadly, since it was from my inbox and the original letter got erased when I replied, it just isn’t quite the same. I hope this is good enough.

honestly I think that the screenshots and captions are just as great as fanart, but I can see why you feel that way. I feel like the fandom is less and less involved in the tags/community and all I see on my dash now are the same 4-5 posts thrown around in the higher circle of popular ac blogs.

sorry for ranting like that. bottom line is I do enjoy your content, screenshots are great and your humor is refreshing 💖

All I do is rant, so when I see someone apologize for ranting after only a single paragraph, it really helps clear up the mystery of why my blog never made it into that higher circle of popular ac blogs.

It's long been this blog's policy not to reblog from other blogs, which I'm sure has also hurt me a lot over the years. I've wondered a lot sometimes about how big this could have gotten if I'd managed it differently.

But, of course, it's also been so long that I don't really know anybody else who runs an AC blog anymore. Obviously, people still do it. @mimushima-acnh​ is one I found a while ago that I follow and really enjoy, for example, and is an extremely pure and good blog that does the same kind of thing I do with less cynicism and meanness. And if you're not following @animalcrossingbirthdayboard​, then, well, you certainly should.

Truthfully, I thought at first that @animalcrossingbirthdayboard​ might be @toysleaf​ returned to tumblr at first, as a blog run by a trans man who roleplays Digby, but it isn't. At least, I'm pretty sure it isn't. I didn't ask. I wonder a lot what happened to @toysleaf​. I miss that guy a lot. I hope he's doing well.

I followed @animalclawsing​ for a while before I made my post about visiting their dream town, and they reblogged it, and never posted again after that. I feel terrible about that fact. Like it was my post that killed their blog, or something. I certainly hope it wasn't. The joy they showed when posting about their town was so wonderful that I just wanted to be a part of it, but when I look back at my post it feels harsh and mean in ways that I never intended for it to be. If you see this post, @animalclawsing​, I'm sorry, and I thought your town was great, and I hope you're still doing creative things out there somewhere.

I just keep running this blog because of sheer momentum, I think. I'm still in touch with a few people from the early days who've moved on from AC. I have, too, but I've also stuck with AC even as I've become an old man who's been spending most of his time these days focused on earning IT certifications for his career or working on his novel. I completed a 60,000-word first draft recently, so I feel like I can say I'm working on it without it being the empty words of every other jerk who says they're working on a book and hasn't actually typed a single page of it. If I ever actually finish the darn thing, which will probably take another two years or so (not joking, sadly), I'll be sure to post a link to where you can buy it. I mean, I'm sure I'll just self-publish it on Amazon for less than a dollar, and either have a discount code or post it for free on Mega somewhere for the dozen or so people who read this blog. It's not going to be a big seller, I'm sure of that. Debut novels from old IT dudes aren't.

And that's how you rant, random anon. You start off in one place and you wander off-topic so many times that it's hard to remember where you started. It's a side effect of my ADHD, probably. I don't take my medication for it on weekends, after all, and today is a Sunday!

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Rafe Cameron x reader (pt 4)

Summary:  You, a pogue and Rafe Cameron, a kook are friends of benefits, secretly of course. But what happens when you get pregnant?

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 

A/N: Part 4! I believe I’ve finally made a decision about who reader should be with. There’s still a couple more parts until we reach the end. So, if you stuck around this long, thank you! And I hope you’ll continue to stick around until the end. Again, thank you for the support and feedback. Love y’all xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

You look down at Rafe, the guy you once loved, or may still love and wonder, can you really marry him? Even after what he’s put you through? You asked him to show he’s responsible and ready to care for you and your baby and well, he’s showing you. However, this wasn’t what you expected.

“Rafe,” You breath out.

“You told me to show you I’m ready for this so, I’m asking you to marry me. Marry me and we can raise our baby together. Be a family. We can even go tomorrow and pick out a ring. I’ll take you to meet my family. It’ll be amazing.” He smiles, squeezing your hands.

You shake your head, “Rafe, this is out of the blue. So out of the blue.” You slowly stand, wincing and stepping away from him, “You’re not thinking about what you’re asking.”

He stands and steps toward you, “Y/n, I do know what I’m asking. I’m asking to spend the rest of my life with you. With you, the absolute love of my life. I didn’t need to think about it. I just know.”

“I think you should go.”

He’s taken back, “You think I should go?” This wasn’t at all what he expected. He had expected you to say yes.

You nod, “This is too much right now, Rafe. Go home, think things over. Then come back when you’re in the right mind set.”

He shakes his head before storming out of the room and out the door.

You slowly sink back down on the edge of the bed. What are you going to do?

~

Kie sits across from you on your bed. She’d stopped by the next day to bring you lunch so you could tell her what had happened.

“And he just dropped to one knee in front of you and asked you to marry him?” She asks popping a fry in her mouth.

You nod, taking a bite of a chicken finger, “He did. I can’t make these things up.”

“Well, what did you tell him?”

“I told him to leave and think things over first and he left.”

She shakes her head in disbelief, “Dude this is crazy. Rafe Cameron, party boy, wants to settle down and get married? I thought pigs would fly first.”

Your quiet as you take another bite.

“y/n.. do you want to marry him?” She furrows her eyebrows at you.

“Yes. No, I don’t know!” you groan, “He’s the father of my baby and the baby wouldn’t have to worry about money or anything like I did growing up. I can give he or she a good life.”

“Y/n. You can’t just marry him for his money. If you aren’t happy or you don’t love him, then you shouldn’t be with him.”

“Kie, I do love him though. I do. I mean I know he’s been an asshole, but since my accident he’s stopped the drugs. He’s been clean and he’s come over almost every day to check on me, stayed for hours, spending time with me, and taking care of me.”

“Someone else has come over almost every day to see you too.” She says, shrugging; John B, “What about him? He’s your best friend and told you he’s in love with you. I know you’ve had feelings for him for the longest too.”

You groan again, “I love John B too, but I don’t know if it’s because he’s my best friend or I’m actually in love with him. I don’t know who to choose.”

“All I can say is, go with what your heart is telling you. Don’t think about money or living a good life. Think about who is going to give you the love and support you need. Who is going to make you happy? That’s what matters.”

~

The day after Kie spent the day with you, you received a text from John B. You’d hoped Kie didn’t let the beans spill about Rafe proposing even after you asked her not too. You let out a sigh of relief after reading what he’d texted.  

Would you want to go get ice cream and talk?

You quickly responded, the thought of ice cream on this hot day would be perfect. Your ac stopped working and your mom couldn’t afford to fix it so, you were basically lounging around in a bathing suit to keep cool.

I’d love too. AC isn’t working

He responded with: I’ll be over in 10 and bring my tools to look at it

John B always to the rescue. With his dad being gone, he’d become quite the handy man and helped you out numerous times whether it was fixing a loose board on the porch, fixing a fridge or a washer, he was there to help, especially since your dad left you and your mom. He’d even helped build a small porch onto the back of the house after your mom said she’d love to have an extra lounging space. He was just that kind of guy, always wanting to make you happy.

“y/n?” You heard John B call out.

“In my room!”

He’d walked in on you slipping a tank top over your head and spotted the small bump starting to form, “Looks like you’re starting to show.”

You smiled and pulled the shirt up, “I know. Only a little bit though.” You run your hand over the small bump.

“it’s cute.” You blush and he clears his throat, “Anyways. Do you want me to look at your AC now or after ice cream?”

“If you don’t mind, can you look at it now? In case we need a part while we’re in town.”

“Sure. Let me go get my tools.”

~

It had been almost an hour of him looking at your AC unit and he’d finally found the fix.

“You just need to replace this one part.” He says coming in, wiping his hands on a rag. He’d discarded his shirt and you could see the beats of sweat on his chest. He’d also tied his bandana up around his forehead to keep the sweat from dripping down his face.

“How much is this going to cost?” You wince a little. Your mom was in between paychecks.

He shrugs, walking over to you, “Shouldn’t be too much. I’ll pull some strings and get the part at a reasonable cost and then I can replace it.” He takes a step closer to you and pushes a piece of hair behind your ear, “If you agree to a date with me.”

You bite your lip, “A date?”

He nods, “One date with me.” His finger moves to your shoulder and then trails down your arm, taking your hand in his, causing you to shiver at his touch, even in this heat.

You nod, smiling, “Okay.”

~

A/N: ooooo John B x Reader have a date!! This was a little short, but the next one will be a little longer and should be posted tomorrow (Friday) or Saturday :)

Obx taglist:  @emmalvei-blog​ , @tregua-oca​ , @weirdbiwitch​ , @losers-club6​ , @treestarrrrrrrr​​ , @omgwhattheeven​​ , @normatural​​ , @lreincarnationl​​ , @laurenron​ , @junkiemuppettxx​ , @beth-winchester21​ , @divcrdown​ , @timotaychalabae​ , @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ , @tangledinsparkles​ , @prejudic3​ , @lanarichards5  @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ , @fratboystark​ , @nas-marie-loves-u​ , @sunwardsss , @annedub​ , @jellyfishbeansontoast​ , @turtlee-says-rawr​,

All my works tag list:  @blossomreed​

[z-ackfair]

tag game

i was tagged by @eivor-basim. thank you alli 💖

since everyone (mutuals) have already been tagged, i will tag @sad-jackalope​, @tpov​ and @vetra​

1: Why did you choose your url?

it is actually my psn (or a rendition of it - psn is gungn-ir add me!) i also wanted something norse related without it being totally within the ac valhalla realm, and gungnir was free!

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

i have multiple from over the years and i can’t delete them because i forgot the passwords 😎

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

maybe since like... 2010? i think i had this specific tumblr back in year 10 of highschool.

4: Do you have a queue tag?

no i don’t, i should tho...

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i was a bratty teenager when tumblr was at its absolute height so it was inevitable!!

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

the art from the ac valhalla song of glory comics is flawless and my icon is from the 3rd issue. the art inside is a bit questionable, but the covers do a wonderful job at capturing eivor’s look and feel.

7: Why did you choose your header?

cause some good ol’ basim side eye - i love the promo art too hahah

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

the post of eivor saying ‘we norse are the monsters of your saxon mother’s bedtime tales.’ it has 699 notes which is honestly a lot for me omg thank you 

9: How many mutuals do you have?

22 :’)

10: How many followers do you have?

I just hit 700 (710 now)

11: How many people do you follow?

196!

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

probably - i actually spent multiple hours mass deleting posts from this tumblr, aka all my shit posting from when i was a teenager so i can never be embarrassed ever again

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

i glance at it throughout the day - healthy form of procrastination.

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

coughs i wouldn’t say so but like i’m ready if necessary HAHAHAH

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

boring

16: Do you like tag games?

yes i do! please tag me in more 😁

17: Do you like ask games?

i like ask games even more! my dms are always open for you all 💖

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

only @sad-jackalope 👀💕

[thedreadvampy]

this is kind of a Hot Take (and rlly long) so don't feel pressured to post this

also no one cancel thedreadvampy over posting this ask if she does these are my beliefs and not necessarily hers kthx

I'm honestly really uncertain why people are so militant about aphobia on this site. like obviously aphobes are Not Nice People and it's good to be against their shitty beliefs. But I've been on this site for ~5 years and I have never, in my memory, seen an aphobe (with the few exception of like. literal nazis but their main label isn't aphobe). I have seen a lot of people who were then harassed/cancelled being called aphobes in addition to a lot of other things like (homophobic, racist, abusive, etc) but as far as I bothered to figure out, the label of aphobe came from one specific phrase they used or one post they reblogged (though I can't be bothered to Deep Research so I genuinely don't know on this one).

(I have seen casual acephobia in my own personal life. however, that is not Tumblr.)

I have seen scores of posts along the lines of "aphobes are bad" "aphobes dni" etc etc.

Maybe it's just who I follow, but it seems like there's a lot more anti-aphobe sentiment than aphobes. Which is good! It's the goal! However, I think it's possible that that anti-aphobe sentiment has not become "look how few aphobes there are! yay!" it's "there are hidden aphobes all around us and you have to interrogate everyone to know who to ostracize"

You're a fairly popular figure in the mechs/tma fandoms and the thing about Tumblr is that it hates popular figures. And more than that, you're visible, so a) people will see if you answer a bunch of questions about ace things, and b) you exist in everyone's brains more than little blogs.

to be clear. to be absolutely crystal 100% clear: I am not saying that people got together and went "let's interrogate all the popular blogs so we can pretend theyre acephobic and have fun bullying people," I'm saying it's possible that what was once a positive emotion, "we don't tolerate intolerant people" has possibly, in some people, morphed into a fear that intolerant people are hiding all around them. And frankly, that fear can be understandable (not right, not kind, but understandable), especially if they face hate irl and their only outlet for emotion is tumblr. shit, Tumblr is one of my emotional outlets.

I don't think it's bad to engage with these people in good faith, or to answer questions, but I think it's possible that some of them are coming from the "intolerant people are hiding all around us and must be ferreted out" kind of perspective instead of a "hey I wanna check that this person isn't an intolerant asshole before following/supporting them" or "I want to engage with a person who may be ignorant" (I'm not attempting to imply that you're ignorant). Im not saying "not answer their questions" this is just, like, my opinion. I'm not making a lot of actionable statements here.

that's my whole Hot Take, hopefully I made some kind of sense, I just honestly feel kind of mad on your behalf that you have to go thru an interrogation to be Not Tumblr Cancelled. If people were generally having a nuanced discussion then that would be fine but you've already stated several times that ace/aspec people are valid and deserve love and respect etc etc. which as an aspec person makes me feel that your blog is safe for me, and I don't feel the need to play 20 Questions Are You Sure You Aren't An Aphobe

I don't know how much of this I entirely agree with and I refuse to think

(not about this. just in general. today I refuse to think)

my main response to this is:

a) I think my confusion is I have less than 1500 followers I think I always assumed the You Are Now A Public Figure People Have Opinions On mark had to be higher than that but this appears to have been a totally incorrect assumption

b) I don't feel like. a threat of Cancellation except inasmuch as I don't want Kofi to eventually get any kind of kickback if I turn out to be or people understand me to be a shitty person. I didn't ask for a platform or do anything to deserve it, if I get distressed it's largely just that I don't want to be a shitty person! and I have a whole thing about. I don't ever feel secure in my ability to say I'm NOT being shitty so like if enough people start saying AH RUTH THEDREADVAMPY IS A GARBAGE PERSON I definitely do stay wondering if they're right even if I think my position is morally defensible. like I'm very easy to get into a spiral of I think that's highly defensible but maybe I'm just in denial/trying to cover my ass/self-justifying so I can avoid accountability/etc. like this is a thing and it's why I'm very uncomfortable with absolutism, a lot of my family in my experience have a phenomenal capacity for denial and for rewriting reality into something they Fully Believe despite all the evidence, and so I'm really conscious of the possibility that I'm doing that and I wouldn't. know about it. it's a really really powerful subconscious force and that's been like. a big fear point for me my whole life. that I could be being a cunt and be obviously being a cunt and be so deep in denial that it just doesn't register at all. this is like. the thing I fear most. So I DO want people to tell me if I'm being a dick because the only way I can 100% know I'm not just in denial is if I can trust people to call me in, but I really, really, really struggle with when people say I'm being a dick and I disagree, not because they're harassing me necessarily but just because it really sends me into a spiral of doubting my own ability to be sure about like, anything. at all. it's a whole unreality thing which is, uh, it's MINE to deal with, it's not something I would want to put on other people, but it very much does affect my responses and I didn't mean to write this but hey, no therapy last week and it shows.

oh also c) on reflection I don't agree that there's very little aphobia on Tumblr (although as I've said I'm not ace or aro so my opinion should hold little weight) but I do think that there's a lack of give and take, not just in aphobia stuff but also in general, in these kinds of conversations, like sometimes yeah people are actively hateful but I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding, poor phrasing, or questioning, and I understand that that's coming from a really genuine place of pain and devaluation of aro/ace experiences but I also think people jump straight to assuming active malice very fast, and often explicitly consider "actively not stating an opinion" to be an offence on the level of "actively staying a harmful opinion," which I think is unhelpful. like. we learn by listening, there are times in my life where I would have been lying at the time to agree unconditionally with something like "I think we should believe survivors" (I was a 2000s teen who hung out with 4channers) but I also was conscious of the harm that it would do to publicly debate from the perspective that No We Shouldn't Believe Survivors, so you know I waited and I listened and I thought about it and ultimately I came to a position I could say with my chest. but like. The online social more that you Have to have an opinion and I Have to hear it to prove that you have the Right opinion is. uncomfortable to me to say the least. I don't think it gives you much room to learn and improve, especially given that everything on the internet is permanent and often treated as if it forever reflects your current beliefs. like I have changed my opinions So Much since I was 16 and if someone went back through a tag on my blog to Prove My Bad Opinions they could paint pretty much any picture they wanted with 12 years of changing opinions.

anyway yeah like. no I don't fully agree with this ask but I appreciate the alternate perspective. I also did not mean to write another wall of text I'm just very much In A Brain Hole today and sometimes words Just Happen.

[thegeminisage]

cr*tical r*le takes under the cut i am NOT tagging this i do NOT wish to get into a debate if you message me to tell me how wrong i am im going to fly my hick ass up to ur house and bring u back to throw u in the south carolina BOGS. if you r*blog this post i will fucking come to your house and KILL you. ok. now that that’s out of the way,

i think caduceus clay being ace is GREAT!!! im so fucking thrilled, i was actually a little bit determined not to like him at first cause i was sooo sore about molly, but ive watched a few episodes with him and i DO like him, and now i like him even more (he’s pink! he’s goth! he’s ace! my kinda guy) even though i may never catch up with how slow i am (it's just so hard to sit down and start something i know will take 3-4 hours even if i put it on 1.5x speed lol when i know i have almost literally a hundred episodes ahead of meeeee augh)

i did watch The Clip and i feel like tal was also sort of implying a little bit that he might also be aro or arospec??? and like, i personally would be thrilled with an aroace icon but i kind of hope he either doesn’t clarify or says later that he’s not aro, not bc i don’t think aros deserve what aces got last night but bc i was in the tag on tumblr and twitter for only .5 seconds and already people are wondering If They Can Still Ship Him. i feel like, personally, As An Ace And Probably Arospec Person: yes u should still be able to ship him esp if it’s in like a complicated Authentic Ace/Arospec kinda way. arospec ppl will know what i mean. when it’s like ??? romance? friendship? what’s the difference if we’re not fucking/desiring to fuck? does it even matter? who cares!

i also don’t want to wind up in a place where it’s like, people who were really invested in caduceus ships Before It Was Canon (valid) vs people who want to respect that he’s aro (also valid), because all that’s going to do is get a lot of aphobia thrown around (like every time someone complains that we shouldn’t ship caduceus someone else will call them homophobic and cringe lol). so like, i think maybe he’s aro, i’d love for him to be aro, but also i very much do not want him to be aro. yk. i want it to be a nice thing, not a “exclusionists and shippers now resent aro/ace people because we ‘stole’ him and insist on respecting his identity and they’re going to be shitty about it” thing. that’s all. we can avert the entire problem by having him...NOT be aro, or at least just arospec and not like, fully uninterested in The Romance.

ok!! post over goodbye

[yetremains]

“...”

“Well damn, alright.” Yang downed the rest of her tea quickly, before gasping for a breath as she shoved her cup away.

“Lightning round, lets go!”

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

“It was in my young teen years, 15 I think. I’d been dating that individual for a couple weeks before they abruptly decided to kiss me then and there. We’d been dancing around the subject for a while. It wasn’t spicy or romantic, merely spur of the moment. Was sweet though. The year after that we had broke up and remained friends for a while until we lost contact.”

french vanilla: how old are you?

“You shouldn’t ask someone their age when they been through shit. Too god damn old is the best answer if you must know. I’m older than 28, trust me. Don’t let looks fool you. But hey, I’m getting even older come December 25th!”

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

“Do places long gone count? Can I say Home? Nah probably not. So three places let’s see... Japan, China, Romania. The actual places not whatever anything makes them out to be.”

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

“I know a damn lot of languages actually. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right words to say because of this, knowing so many. It’s one reason I’m so odd with my way of speaking. However, I would not mind learning some dead languages. If that doesn’t count, then... Persian?”

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

“Ah hell. I mean, I’m not much of a cosmetic expert here. I work with whatever I really need for a music show or for just every day. I could say L’Oreal because I’m worth it joke but that seems in bad taste. If I was using cosmetics just for the enjoyment or to look special, I just try and get whatever works for me.”

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

“Answered this one~!”

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

“Plenty. I’ve decided to learn a few different ones so I can mix together my own music needs of demands arise for it. But I really enjoy stringed instruments or wind instruments. I carry a small harmonica or Ryūteki in my packs.”

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

“Not easy to give an answer for, I’ve got a really broad taste. But I’m thinking something with a heavier beat at the moment-”

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

“Oh come on this makes it harder. As I said, broad taste. I can find enjoyment in many kinds of music and lyrics. Can’t exactly answer a favorite song for life here.”

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

“Which zodiac are we talking here? There are a lot out there. But the first one into my head is Capricorn. I am on the 25th of December.”

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

“As nice as the ocean can be, fuck the ocean. I’ll enjoy the coast line just fine but you won’t catch me swimming that far out in it. There is damn good reason why I don’t like the ocean much anymore. I’ll relax in a pool or a lake or river, thank you.”

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

“Good question. I’ve made a few social media posts that exploded. But that’s probably not fair considering the music I do. I think my most popular is from years ago when I spray painted a statue of a certain someone to look like a baboon.”

bubblegum: books or movies?

“Both! Why choose? I enjoy both quite a bit. and besides, Books can always be there no matter what. And can hold so much valuable information depending what you are reading.”

pistachio: manga or anime?

“... Both again? But I prefer novels. This is more a guilty pleasure.”

salted caramel: favorite movies?

“I can’t remember the last movie I watched, if I’m honest, let alone a favorite movie.”

birthday cake: favorite books?

“Hmmm. Hard one. I enjoy the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe? There is Shōgun. The Mark of Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Bram Stoker Dracula... There’s several.”

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

“Not exactly applicable, I don’t remember the name of any I like when I was young.”

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

“The same as above. Wow I am old... I should really get in touch with these things again.”

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

“Hah, I loved science and history. A damn lot really. I’ve used both to really help my self along and it’s come in handy. My need for knowledge had me spend a lot of time researching.”

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

“I’ve not had any pets since I was a rookie. Never had the time to truly care for one, and now with a hectic life, I’m not gonna do that to an animal.”

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

“Suppose just to exist and have something to do between pit stops.”

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

“It is torn between two for me. A nice warm day, clear, maybe with a gentle breeze. Some clouds above, and calm. That’s the ideal outing day... But, I suppose due to my birthday, I can enjoy a soft snow coming down,some snow on the ground, watching through a window with tea in hand while bundled up and warm. Much prefer clear day though.”

black cherry: four words that describe you?

“Now that’s just not fair. Let me think... Loyal, Determined, Caring, Protective.”

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

“Being reminded of my failings and those I’ve lost... the people I’ve hurt... Thinking about friends I wish I was closer too but too fearful to be that close. Hm. I can also be stressed out by far too much stimulation for my brain at once that it can spin my gears way too quickly.”

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

“Again, broad tastes. But depending on my mood or feelings, it changes what my favorite kind of music can be. But I will always enjoy something gentle and calming.”

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

“I’ve always been partial to chocolates, or cream items.”

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

“Ever hear of a game called Egyptian Rat Race? Also known as Egyptian Rat Screw, dunno why of course. I learned this game when I was a kid. 52 card deck, deal to each player until the deck is entirely used and everyone has a pile face down. Starting to the left of the dealer players pull the top card off their pile and place it face-up in the middle. If the card played is a number card, the next player puts down a card, too. This continues around the table until somebody puts down a face card or an Ace. When a face card or an ace is played, the next person in the sequence must play another face card or an ace in order for play to continue.If the next person in the sequence does not play a face card or an ace within their allotted chance, the person who played the last face card or an ace wins the round and the whole pile goes to them. The winner begins the next round of play.“

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

“Uh... Admittedly not often. With my metabolism problem I absolutely should, considering the demanding needs. I just can’t always bring my self to do so, the will for it isn’t there. I do snack though.”

dark chocolate: turn ons?

“Ooohh boy... Now this one has me turning a bit red here. I mean there is biting and tight holds, the usual stuff. But... I’m not gonna list a lot here, a turn on can be blindfolding me if I trust my partner enough.”

fudge: turn offs?

“Being an asshole, for one.”

peach: how do you relax?

“A nice cup of tea, maybe some soft music, and let my mind unwind a little. That’s if I’m alone. Otherwise a gentle conversation with a friend about small things... Once upon a time long ago I would have said long hugs or cuddling. Not an option these days.”

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

“I’ve not read The Golden Compass, that has been on my to do list.”

superman: do you like sweaters?

“Weird how this one is with sweaters... but yeah I can enjoy sweaters in the right weather. They can be soft and warm, comfy. Great for cold days.”

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

“I drink both actually. But if I have the option for a good tea I’m going to take it without hesitation. Yet the spark of energy from Coffee can’t be denied.”

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

“Without a doubt, Taisho-goto. Have you seen one of those? It’s so intricate and amazing, and can sound wonderful. It can be used to play all sorts of things. Fascinates me that the item was half inspired by a typewriter.”

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

“Oh a few times actually. It’s been a good long while now since I’ve gone that far, but it’s come close. But once upon a time this has happened!”

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

“To Become A Functioning Website.”

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

“Now that’s just kissing and telling...” (( I’d also have to tag and dont wanna spam. ))

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Oddly specific, but... Variations of ‘One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.’. “

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

“Uh, natural and colorless? I’ve not painted my nails in a while.”

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

“I have yes.”

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

“Again, yes. We’re not gonna go into this can of worms.”

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

“Sometimes. There comes the occasion when one does get exhausted and needs a damn nap.”

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

“Get way too flustered and accidentally admit I liked someone.”

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

“Completely! You say we’re going to get Sushi and you have my full attention.”

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

“Home unfortunately.”

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

“Nope! I’m thankful for that, but one day I have no doubt that’s going to change.”

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

“Mochi green tea, chocolate chip mint, red bean, Strawberry shortcake... Gelato raspberry or orange cream.”

[0ffgun]

The whole point of valentines day is to yell about how much you love someone (at least that’s how I see it) so that’s exactly what I intend to do! I haven’t had this blog for very long but already I’ve met so many incredible people who have all made this place a home for me! I spend a lot of (too much) time on the internet so honestly?? You guys are basically a huge chunk of my life and this is just my way of saying thank you. So here goes -- beware! Lots of messily written and emotional love notes under the cut!

In alphabetical order:

@1akorn​: TOP QUALITY TOP QUALITY EVERYWHERE!! Your blog is one of my all-time favourites and I love the fact that we watch a lot of the same shows! Your gifs are amazing and I also love reading through your text posts or your replies on your blog to see your opinions on things. I know we’ve never talked much but I basically just wanted to say I think you’re super cool sghdjs

@akingyouniverse​: Hi hi hi! Okay so we’ve never talked but I think you’re fun and I love reading the tags on your posts (I also love seeing Trinity posts on your blog bc there isn’t much content of them around and it makes me so happy!!!!) Anyway yes hi I LOVE YOU hope you have a great day *throws roses through all your windows*

@bldramagalore​: Cindy!! Wow can’t believe that if we both weren’t so damn gay we’d already be married by now! Seriously thank you though, we talk most days and you’re always there when I want to talk to you (usually it’s just to scream about Mark or uwma but still!) Ngl I can’t really remember how we first became friends because it just feels like I’ve known you FOREVER and that’s so comfy and wholesome. My favourite part of my week is when we yell about shows together - even better when we watch them together ofc! - and I just KNOW that we’ll be friends for the longest time so knowing I’ll get to do that a lot in the future too makes me so happy. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU!!!! I’m so in love with you and your gorgeous face and beautiful hair and your stellar makeup skills *KISS KISS*

@blueskycafe​: Hey there!! Sorry if this is super random but you’re a blog that I see in my notes and on my dashboard a lot, and it’s always so nice when I do! Your blog is definitely one of my favourites I adore you fdjgdf I hope you have the best valentines day!

@chaeunwoo​: Your gifs are so pretty 😭😭😭 I love the content you post and seeing you enjoying the shows that you’re watching! We’ve never talked but damn maybe we should - I should send you a random friendly message sometime (if you don’t mind of course dhsjghs) but yes happy valentines day, I hope you have a good one!

@chaoticallytate​: HELLO!!! You randomly message me sometimes and it always puts a smile on my face when your little notification pops up. I don’t know you all that well but I already feel super protective over you (I’m adopting you as my little brother OKAY) and idk you just seem really down to earth and it’s so pleasant. I hope you have the absolute loveliest valentines day!

@doctorbeam​: Hello hello hello you’re lovely just LOVELY omg did I tell you that you’re lovely?? We’ve only talked a little (I’m still so happy about the time you sent me those Mark pics!!) You’re ridiculously cute and I really can’t wait to watch Ossan’s Love so that I can tell you what I think about it! Have the best valentines day you amazing person!

@dollopheadsandclotpoles​: Yeah okay maybe following you has made me get one step closer to drowning in the Merlin fandom as each day goes by I CAN’T DENY IT I’ve barely ever watched the show and yet I somehow already love it just because you do hdkjgd. Also your love for Jaylerr?? That’s my fave! You’re just a really cool person and I just... ugh I super duper appreciate you 💖 Also?? Hope this doesn’t sound weird but you post a bunch of stuff about being aro/ace and seriously I never really knew much on the subject so it’s really nice to see stuff on your blog and get a little more educated every time. Please always keep throwing Merlin onto my dashboard, it feels weird now when you’re not online and there’s no Merlin dhgdskjg 

@earthpodd​: Hey Vic!! I know you’ve probably been crazy busy these days and haven’t been online much, but I really hope you’re doing well! It’s always nice to see you when you’re around and your opinions on stuff are always interesting to see 👀 happy valentines day to my favourite tumblr crush, hope you have a great day!

@gmmtvmother​: jfghjgdhfd no idea what to say because you messaged me today and I near enough burst into flames with joy but hi! I think your blog is one of the first few that I followed, and I’m still shook by the quality. Your content is GREAT and I love it when you make funny posts like your incorrect quotes gifsets, they’re the best! We watch a lot of similar shows so it’s always nice when I get a notification that you’ve posted something and I know in advance that I’m going to absolutely LOVE it!

@idontevenwatchbl​: Hey Millie!! I love seeing you post stuff as you’re watching shows, it’s always so fun and entertaining to see hdsjghjks I’m always excited when you start watching a new show because I know I have those screenshots and funny comments to look forward to! I hope you’re having the very BEST day and I can’t wait to see what you’ll watch next!

@iplann​: sdjghjs hi hello hi!!! First of all thank you so much for always blessing my dashboard with that quality content of Plan - I love him but I can’t always keep up with his activities so heck you’re brilliant for helping me know what’s going on! And second of all I love your blog and your content, it’s fun seeing what videogames you’re into, especially when it’s ones I like too (I’m a TOTAL sucker for Dragon Age ngl.) SO yeah I just wanted to say have a nice day and always stay amazing!

@inkorns​: Oh daaaaamn if it isn’t the creator of the prettiest gifs I HAVE EVER SEEN. You’re super talented at editing okay (don’t even t r y and deny it Ada pls) and I love your blog so much. You’re fun to talk to and I’ve decided that we’re good friends and you are extremely stuck with me forever ���� I’m gonna spend the rest of my days complimenting your gifs and you can’t stop me!!! Seriously though, talking to you is so nice and honestly?? You’re really cool and funny what the heck. You better have the best valentines day ever or else I’m gonna come over and throw heart shaped stuff at you until you have a good time 😈

@loveisactivated​: Your blog is so extreme super quality I don’t even feel worthy of just LOOKING at your gifsets because damn they look so good. You seem like a really chill person and it’s always nice when we’re watching the same shows and I get to see your amazing content! But yeah hi I think you’re really cool, happy valentines day jfdhdhfdh

@mingskit​: FRIEND FRIEND FRIEEENNDDDD!!!! (I love this “friend” thing we have going on can we do this forever please - I can’t believe we’ve never really directly talked much but we already have a cute friendship thing BLESS) Your gifs? Incredible. You? Even more incredible!! I adore the content you post, especially when you focus on the underrated girls in bl shows. You seem like such a sweet person and I like to think that maybe someday we’ll become good pals! Happy valentines day you wonderful angel 💙 

@nazaaqat​: Faiza!! Okay so yeah we’ve never talked (apart from occasional yelling in tags) but I just wanted to say hi!! You’re one of the absolute most friendliest people I’ve seen on tumblr and it’s always such a pleasure to see you replying to asks in the softest way and your gifs... ugh YES that top quality I’m pretty much addicted to your content at this point. You have so many friends and this is probably really random but I low key (high key okay it’s totally high key) adore you and hope you have a nice valentines day!

@ohbabycupcakes​: Damn you’re one of the first blogs I ever followed and you’ve always been someone who I’ve admired from afar - you’re so good at keeping your followers up to date with stuff that’s happening and you put so much time and energy into your blog and that’s just straight-up awesome. Your language skills are also so good! It’s so exciting to see how much you love learning Thai and honestly you’re so ridiculously talented, I really hope that someday I could be on your level, you’re such an inspiration really. Anyway before I gush for like 6 more paragraphs... I think you’re great and I hope you’re having a good day!!

@perthtanapon​: Pretty edits!! Pretty edits EVERYWHERE!!!! Honestly I really love your content and you post a lot of my faves which just makes me love it even more wow. Your Mark edits literally have me on the floor in a sobbing mess I hope you know that jkghjfkdgfd. I think you’re really chill and it’s nice to message you from time to time, I know we haven’t talked very much but it already feels like we’re good friends! Happy valentines day buddy 💕

@piningbisexuals​: A X E L L E ���� You’re the first friend I made on here, I remember how excited I was when you first started following me! Your enthusiasm for the things you love is so contagious, half the time I watch new stuff just because I see you enjoy it so much. We have the loveliest most wholesome friendship where we just compliment and hype each other up all the time and I live for it. Can’t wait until the day we both achieve our dreams and can meet up in Thailand to drink some pink milk together!

@priceofwarmclothes​: Erm alright so seriously?? Your gifs are so nice please don’t ever stop gifting my dashboard with your glorious creations. We’ve never talked but you seem like a really fun and talkative person so hopefully someday we’ll have the chance to talk and become buddies! Can’t wait to see more of the gorgeous content you’ll post in the future 💚  

@purnotas​: Hello!!! I see you in my notes a lot and you send me helpful asks from time to time.. thank you so much for that!! You seem so lovely and your blog is full of great content! Please have an absolutely WONDERFUL valentines day! 💛

@rosa-leche​: Hello friend, hope you’re still doing well and that things are much less exhausting for you now that you’re done with your midterms! You always have the nicest things to say and when you leave nice comments in the tags it makes my heart so warm! Wow can’t believe you’re the sweetest person ever 💛💙💜 happy valentines day!

@rosiedaes​: One of the coolest blogs I follow okay.. you’re so chill and I always love your edits so much 😭😭😭 Ngl I’ve been following you for as long as I can remember - when I used to run a kpop blog your main was one of my faves so I was so excited when I made my new blog and I realised that you also have a drama blog!! Always stay amazing and I’ll always be looking forward to seeing what you’ll post next! 

@seoinsguk​: Okay so Alexa... we’re both seriously so BAD at replying to messages (I literally just checked and it’s been forever since I replied oh my god shsk) but really?? I love that! There’s no pressure or stress to our cute little friendship that we have like we can reply to messages weeks apart but it’ll still just feel like a normal conversation 🤣 Also THANK YOU for fuelling my kdrama needs, I don’t follow many blogs that post Korean content so it’s the best when I see you getting excited over a kdrama you’re watching because then I instantly know what to start watching next. Also can I just say... you’re so lovely thank you for being so lovely.

@thaitheseries​: One of the first thai-based blogs I followed and seriously one of the best tbh. You’re so active and I see you on my dashboard all the time and it’s so NICE (probably 90% of the things I reblog are from your blog whoops.) I love reading your tags when you reblog my content and we have similar tastes in shows which is always great! I remember when I was having a rough day and you reblogged some Mark content for me to see... and that was seriously so nice of you and it made me so happy! You’re one of my favourite people and you probably don’t even know about it djsgsfhd happy valentines day!

Wow can’t believe I’m so madly in love with all of you!! And if we’ve never talked... my inbox is always open, let’s be best friends 💕 Hope you all have a great valentines day!

[illfoandillfie]

hi i hope you don’t mind me being nosey but i was wondering if i could ask a few things about u being aro? i kinda just wanted to know how u figured it out? and also do u still get feelings for people but choose not to pursue it? sorry if i’m kinda intruding i don’t mean to, just curious

i dont mind at all darl! (actually...lowkey i love when people are curious about it lmao so feel free to ask more questions) also this is going under a cut cause it got longer than i meant it to lmao

figuring it out wasnt easy and it took a lot of self reflection and like months of questioning and doing research and then worrying i was getting it wrong. Basically i first considered the idea that i could be aro when i was approaching my 25th birthday. A friend of mine (the only guy i’ve had any sort of a fling with) had announced he was engaged and i was completely down on myself wondering why i couldnt get a single date when he was off getting engaged (not that i even Wanted to get married i just would have liked some attention). I figured there had to be something wrong with me or something about me that was broken. And then i saw someone i followed at the time reblog a post about being aro. I’d seen the phrase a little before but never really considered it as fitting me but i’d also never really paid attention to what it actually meant. 

I don’t remember what the post was exactly, it’s probably somewhere in the thousands and thousands of posts i’ve liked over the years but there’s no easy way to check so . Whatever it said it felt relatable enough that I went and googled aromanticism to try and figure out what it was and if it fit me. Because I was already in a headspace where I’d been thinking about my lack of a romantic history already, a lot of the stuff that i read had been stuff i’d been thinking about anyway. Like Reader said in Platonic when she was talking about how she figured it out, I’ve never had a proper crush. I spent months thinking about it after my friend told me he’d proposed. I have very vivid memories of literally deciding to have a crush on a boy in primary school because it seemed like i should (again, i included that directly in Platonic lmao down to the boys name and everything). And every guy I’ve had an interest in since has been either a brief physical attraction that i forgot about as soon as I wasn’t seeing him regularly or something that I deliberately manufactured either in an attempt to fit in with the people around me or because i was kind of bored. Even the cute music teacher at work last year like he was hot and i wouldnt have said no to a kiss or whatever but i just didn’t have any feelings about him beyond that. 

While I was trying to figure out if I was aro I read a lot of websites. The AVENwiki has a page on aromanticism and I think also has pages on some of the aro-spec identities like greyromantic and demiromantic so that was a good starting point for definitions. Google also gave me a few different forums and stuff where aro people were talking about being aro. A lot of aromantic resources are tied up in the asexual community though because that’s where the language and everything was first suggested and what it evolved from. I don’t think that necessarily helped me feel comfortable using the term aro to describe myself because i’m pretty confident i’m not ace but the more I looked into it the more stuff I found from people who were allosexual but aromantic. Anyway, I spent weeks just googling “aromantic” and seeing what came up  and rereading what i’d already read and resisting the fact that a lot of it fit me. Then I spent a while trying to find like a quiz or something that would just give me an answer. I found a few quizzes but all of them assumed at least one previous relationship so none of them were any use to me. But gradually I started feeling okay with calling myself aro. I think part of my hesitation was probably also because knowing I was aro didn’t feel like a solution it just felt my damage had a name. The other part is that romantic attraction is not easy to define which makes it hard to identify if you feel it or not so the part of me that wanted to be Normal kept being like ‘well if you dont know you cant call yourself aro’. But I thought about it a lot and I read any aro related post that crossed by dash and then ventured into the tumblr tag and found some helpful discussion stuff in there and then I started calling myself aro just quietly, only in my own head. It took a long time before I felt okay admitting that I was aro on my own blog but obviously i got there in the end lmao. That friend, the one who got engaged, he’s the only person i’ve told irl though. 

as to your second question....

I don’t think I feel romantic attraction. Truthfully, as i said before, it’s hard to know for certain and there is a possibility that i could form a romantic attraction to someone one day but i think it’s very unlikely. Other forms of attraction are different though. I can be attracted to people physically and sexually. And I think I could possibly be attracted to people in a platonic “man i’d really like to be their friend” kind of way though it doesnt come up very much because im not really one to like meet people. I like my own company. 

But i’ve never really acted on any sort of attraction or feelings for others. I was definitely attracted to CMT but I never acted on it because it seemed like too much work. The was a guy who worked at a pop culture collectables shop a few years ago who i thought was very cute and I did contemplate asking him out but it just never felt like a real option and I sort of just ignored it until he left the job. So yeah I guess I do get some sorts of feelings and then choose not to do anything with them, but they aren’t romantic feelings. But like right now I’ve got no interest in anyone (apart from ben and roger but i guess they dont really count lmao). None of the teachers at work interest me and i havent met anyone else recently and it really isnt bothering me. Theres a guy in IT who i could possibly see myself fawning over a bit cause he’s handsome and has an unusual accent but he’s got the same name as my brother so i’ve already ruled him out as a no go lmao. 

Anyway, hopefully that answered your questions! If there’s anything else you want to know or you’d like me to try and explain something more fully my inbox is always open!

[redbeardace]

Aromantic.  That’s a thing.  Okay.

[This is a submission for the February Carnival of Aros/Carnival of Aces.]

The Carnival of Aros is now a thing, and this month’s inaugural topic for it has me thinking.

Mostly thinking “What in the hell do I know about aromanticism?” or “Who do I think I am trying to talk about it?”...

Let me back up a bit...

When I first discovered asexuality, my perspective on everything changed.  The word fit.  It explained so much.  Things made sense now.

But when I first heard “aromantic”, there was no connection.  That’s a thing.  Okay.

It described me, I guess.  Sort of.  But it wasn’t a word that I needed.  It wasn’t really even a word that I used.  Someone else actually had to call me aro before I bothered applying the word to myself at all.

It’s sort of like my middle name.  It’s there, but I generally don’t think about it too much.  It doesn’t even feel like it’s really mine, but other people seem to care about it every once in a while.

Is it even mine?  Am I even aro?  Gray?  I don’t know.  Was that any of that love?  Am I just applying that term because that’s what it seemed like it must’ve been? What is love, anyway?  Does anybody love anybody anyway? 

Right.  So.  Where was I?

My natural and clear connection to asexuality drew me to it, and compelled me to get involved.  I created websites.  I wrote a book.  I’ve been interviewed by major publications.  I marched in parades and I’ve started including hitting up ace meetup groups as part of my travel plans.  (Still need to make it to Vancouver someday...) I shared my story with anyone who’d listen and quite a few people who wouldn’t.

On the aro side of things?  I mention it once in a while and once declared (to myself, at least, I don’t remember if I said this in public and I’m not interested in looking it up) that there should be an “Aromantic Archive” site, but that I wasn’t going to make it.  And that’s about it.  Hell, even when there are things that I do which are clearly more aromantic than asexual in nature, I’ll often label them as asexual.  

Okay, but why?

As I alluded to earlier, when I was on my Search™, I found all my answers with asexuality.  There was nothing left to look for.  It was all there, everything explained.  It’s clear to me now that’s obviously not the case, but at the time it was enough.

Another large factor in my disconnect is that the few times I went looking for more information about being aromantic, I didn’t find anything.  Nothing that was especially useful to me, at least.  I think there were a few forums that had one or two posts a month, and a few blog posts here and there, but all of it just seemed to be the same ace people I’d see other places talking about pretty much the same things.  Here on Tumblr, there was always plenty of stuff in the “aromantic” tag, but virtually all of it was just ace content that was tag spammed.  Aro community?  What aro community?

I think the only aro blog I followed was the Aromantic Aardvark.  Because that was the only aro blog there was.

Recently, I’ve tried to find more specifically aro content and aro people to follow.  It exists now.  But I find it hard to get into because it still feels like the same stuff I’m tired of re-reading in the ace community.  It’s just on a green background instead of purple there.

Representation Matters, So Why Is It Hard To Do?

I find that whenever I do something that includes the aro flag or relates to aro topics, it’s often a deliberate and specific act of inclusion, and often only because I feel obligated to do so.  I feel similar when it comes to demi topics, but the major difference is that I have no indication that I’m demi in any way.  With aro things, it’s like I’m ignoring a part of myself.  But for some reason, I don’t care that I am.

In 2017 I went to San Francisco to march in the Pride Parade with Asexuality SF.  The most memorable part of that parade was when I heard screaming from the sidelines:  “Oh my God!  The aro flag!  It’s the aro flag!  I’ve never seen one of those before!”  They were screaming at my aro flag, the one I deliberately and specifically carried so that it would be included.  Later in the parade, I realized that since I was carrying the flag and I was taking all the pictures of the parade, that the aro flag wouldn’t be seen in any of my pictures.  So I handed the flag to a friend who was marching and got a few shots.  You might have seen one of them:

Inclusion matters, even if it is deliberate and specific, and even if I only do it because I feel obligated to do so.

But I still have a ways to go on that front.  I am the keeper of the swag for the Seattle Aces, and there has always been ace swag as part of that.  Demi and Aro stuff came shortly afterwards.  A while later, I started including gray-ace stuff, even going so far as to sew a custom gray-ace flag for Seattle Pride last year.  But demi-romantic and gray-romantic?  There’s hardly any of that stuff in the swag box, and I only did what’s there because someone specifically asked me for it.  It hadn’t really crossed my mind that yes, that needs to be included, too.  It needs to stop being an afterthought.

But wait, there’s more!  At least...  There should be more...  Shouldn’t there?

I keep sitting here, staring at the blinking cursor, thinking that I should have more to say, but it’s all like it’s locked up somewhere.  I sort of feel like I have nothing to say about aroness because there’s simply not much to say about it.  That’s wrong, of course, there’s plenty to say.  Books can and will be written on the topic.  For instance, I should have a lot to say on the subject of amatonormative alienation.  But for some reason, I just can’t break through that personal wall.

And like I said at the beginning, who am I to talk about it?  What do I know? Haven’t I said enough over the years?  Maybe I just should sit back and let other people take this one.

Time’s Aro:  To the Future!

I’ll close this with a topic that’s been rattling around in my head for a while:

I’ve noticed that a lot of ace groups have making efforts to be more specifically inclusive.  Asexual Outreach’s new website is “acesandaros.org”.  TAAAP recently added another A to their name.  Many meetup groups have started rebranding themselves as “Aces and Aros” groups.  While this is a positive trend (even though I dread needing to design a new logo and buy a new banner for the Seattle Aces and Aros to march in Pride this year...), I wonder if it’s a permanent trend.  Is there an inherent link that means that ace groups are aro groups and aro groups are ace groups and that’s how it will always be?  Or will we start to see dedicated aro groups spring up in the coming years?  Are ace groups going to be adequate spaces for people to explore their aroness, particularly non-ace aros?  What do we have to do to ensure these spaces are comfortable and useful to those who seek them out?

[readingisthenewcool]

A mutuals (<3) masterlist (aka: I rant about my mutuals for way too long)

Definitely follow of of these blogs because they are almost as amazing as the people that run them!! I have so many amazing mutuals but these are just the ones that I have talked to the most and for the longest, sorry if I missed you, know that I still love you the same <<33

@a-stitch-in-timey-wimey - PROBABLY MY BEST FRIEND ON HERE, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO FUNNY AND I CAN TELL HER LITERALLY ANYTHING. She's such a babe, I met her through one of my posts I made agesssss ago (yeah that’s right, she’s and OG) where I was like "like and reblog this post if you like any of these fandoms and I'll dm you" and our friendship grew from there!! We both love Voltron, Klance and pasta and one of our first interactions and inside jokes was when she told me when she dropped toothpaste down her sock lol cause how do you even manage to do that (do you even remember that jess???) and idk it’s just such a fond memory even though it’s so random. I fucking live for when she rants/tells me stories on snapchat, I was actually watching one of her ‘storytime’ vids that she sent me and like 5 minutes into her story (when we were getting the climax!!) my phone died and now I’m stuck on this cliffhanger until my phone recharges (so imma write all this while I wait lol). She also didn’t murder me when I broke our 105 day streak (I”M SORRY) in fact she wasn’t even mad!! If that’s not the sign of a true goddess I don’t know what is! ALSO, she's SUPER pretty and inspired me to cut my hair, I'd been think about cutting my hair short(er) for a while and after she cut hers and I saw how pretty she looked, I thought I must do it I must be like Jess. I love her so much from the bottom of my heart and I'm so glad that we're friends <3

@galacticpandasstuff - JADEEEEEE MY SWEET BBY I HOPE YOU GET SOME SLEEP. I always love my deep chats with Jade, we've been mutuals for a while but didn't start talking until recently, we often talk in the afternoon for me and when it's like 4am for her. She def needs to sleep more but we all still love her anyway! Despite her not sleeping that much, she’s still drop dead gorgeous and handles tough situations like a fucking champ wtf, I wish I was even just half as strong as her. I’m very proud that my networking skills have really risen up to the challenge and have paid off because and I’ve connected Jade to a couple of my mutuals and they all love her nearly as much as I do!! She's always so kind to me and I'm sure she'll be kind to you too, she has a relatively small blog and it definitely should be bigger so highkey recommend giving her a follow and maybe even a dm too because she's v nice!!

@repetitive-tautology - JAMES OMG WHAT A FUNNY GUY HE’S AND ACTUAL LAD OMG. I actually love James so much and despite me always feeling inferior to his Top Notch (TM) wittiness and intellect, we manage to have an excellent friendship. We also met through that post I made (about liking certain fandoms and then I would dm you!!) but we never really ended up talking about any of the fandoms lol, our conversation (and friendship!!) just immediately took off. I absolutely love his blog and he's such a funny guy, I've met a lot of great mutuals and friends from him (vague crusade!!!). We unfortunately don’t talk as much as we used to (I’M SORRY BUT DISCORD REALLY SCARES ME, OKAY) and I hope that after this post is... posted it’ll prompt us to talk again! He's one of the actual OG's of my blog and played a vital role in my pasta brand becoming a thing! He also came up with funky spaghet and sinful noodle (if you remember those names lol). Anyway, if you're looking for a laugh, definitely hit him up and follow his blog!!

@raging-chaotic-bisexual - DFGHJKLLKJHGFDSDFGH SOHIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY!! Half of our interactions are are sdfghjkjgfd I love *insert something* so much dfghjhgfdedfgh. Yep, we use keysmashes arguably too much but I literally don’t even care. I can talk to Sophie about whatever I’m excited and no matter what the subject is, she’ll match my enthusiasm and that’s one of my favourite things about her. She’s excellent if you wanna talk about literally whatever you want and I feel as if she’d be an amazing hype woman. (also another one of my Australian bby’s!!)

@hudusello - Dakota is the motorbike bitch (well, more cars now lol) and a future lesbian biker gang member. I always feel hella stupid talking to Dakota cause shes got a shit ton of knowledge on pretty much all mechanical vehicles and before we met I knew approximately zero (0) things about cars and stuff and despite feeling like the inside of my skull feeling as empty as the middle of a balloon, I love learning all this cool new stuff that she teaches me! I love having a good old chat no matter the subject and Dakota is such an OG on my blog. Despite having lots of different interests, I’m really glad that we bonded over a few things that we have in common (like she-ra and minecraft!! [WHICH I WILL REDOWNLOAD SOON AHHHHH]) cause I really enjoy talking. So definitely follow Dakota cause once again, a relatively small blog and also great for a fun chat if you like cars and/or are willing to learn about them 

@carry-on-wayward-birbs - I LOVE THIS DUDE OML WE ALWAYS CHAT ABOUT WHERE THEY’RE UP TO ON BROOKLYN NINE-NINE CAUSE THEY’RE SUPER BEHIND BUT I LOVE HEARING THEIR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING LOL. Even though our chats are almost strictly b99 related, we do get personal sometimes and I’m very glad that we can balance out our good and bad experiences in our friendship and help and support each other but also get so fucking pumped over brooklyn nine nine too. But yeah we have great chats and would definitely would recommend giving their blog a look  <3 (ALSO THEY ALSO SEEM EQUALLY CONFUSED ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF TIME AND THE YEARS THAT PASS AND THAT’S GOOD (kinda??) CAUSE THAT MEANS THAT I’M NOT ALONE AND I’M VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT)

@everyoneprotector - mm yes, Alex, my dude you’re such a legend, you’re my aussie mate!! Very cool spider person ::::) and I enjoy our food debates (whether they’re civil or it’s just us screaming at each other in the reblogs for like an hour). You’re an ace-mazing legend that we all stan, I’m very glad we starting interacting, my only regret is that we didn’t start sooner!! 100% recommend Alex’s blog if you’re Ausralian cause they’ve got some top notch Australian content (They’re posting about the election rn lol) but even if you’re not Australian, you can still enjoy their posts cause they’ve got a bunch of funny stuff on there (including funny fandom stuff!! I’m not even in a lot of the fandoms that Alex posts about BUT THE POSTS ARE STILL GREAT)

@ihateitwhenyourejustvague - ABSOLOUTELY WONDERFUL AND BRITISH. Peppa pig wishes she was vague. Our vague crusade champion queen, all hail vague. I actually had to leave the group discord cause the power from it was too strong for my poor mortal body to handle (nah, it was actually because I’m really scared of discord and being in a voice chat with more than one person is so frightening but IT’S NOT ABOUT ME IT’S ABOUT SPREADING THE LOVE) So definitely go follow vague!! They’re the best!! Also!! A very good writer!! I always reblog the writing posts but I highly recommend asking to be added to the writing tag list so that you make sure you see every single writing post!

@bakugou-klancey-lance - We pretty much never talk but they add a cheeky lil “uwuuuuu <3” in my inbox every now and again and I think that that’s really sweet (also very funny blog!! 10/10 would recommend!!) 

I WOULD DO MORE OF MY MUTUALS BUT I HAVE TO DO SOME MATHEMATICAL METHODS HOMEWORK ::::(((((( 

probs won’t do it lol but I’ll damn well try

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey steph. i’m going through a really tough time right now and i’m wondering if you have any fics that deal with grief? preferably none that are too long. thank you

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hello! love your blog a bunch, and read a lot of your fic recs! i have to ask, do you have any sherlock fics on sherlock grieving, and john helping him out?? thanks so much and have a lovely day! H

Hi Nonnies! 

First of all, BIG HUGS to you both, and especially to Nonny One, I’m sorry you’re having a rough go

GRIEF AND / OR MOURNING 

Please see these lists for some additional Grief and Mourning:

Reverse Reichenbach

Reunion Fics and Other Post TRF Fics

The Empty Hearse-Related Fics

Letters from Sherlock After the Fall

John During the Hiatus

A Quiet Reunion by ShipAddict (K, 851 w. || Reunion, Angst, Sentiment) – Two years after Sherlock’s faked death, he enters 221B Baker St. to see the man who grieved for him.

Dismantle the Sun by Mount_Seleya (T, 965 w. || John Whump, 3G, Angst, Grief) – After a gunshot leaves John in critical condition, Sherlock holds vigil beside his hospital bed, slowly unravelling as the night progresses.

Yet What I Can, I Give Him by a_big_apple (G, 1,391 w || Fluff, Kisses) – This Christmas is much improved over the last–mostly because Sherlock isn’t dead–but it isn’t so simple for John to recover from his grief, and he finds comfort in likely and unlikely places.

Yorkshire Gold by Tammany Tiger (K, 1,467 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Open Ending, Grief) – Mycroft may not mourn Sherlock’s death-but even if he knows his brother lives, he’s not without his own grief. It ain’t easy being The British Government. But at least he’s got good help. Set between the Fall and the Return.

Spectrum of Mourning at the Funeral of a Solitary Man by TheBookshelfDweller (T, 1,956 w. || Angst, Grief, Friendship, First Person POV, Introspection) – Because each kind of love produces its own kind of grief, a long-ignored voice tells the story of five mourners of Sherlock Holmes, a man who in the end, was all but solitary.

Thief by KendylGirl (M, 2,430 w. || Rev. Reich., Heavy Angst, Regret, Grief / Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Implied Drug Use, Self-Flagellation) – John has been gone for four months, and Sherlock is not dealing well with it. When he finds a personal item of John’s, the situation reaches a crisis. Part 3 of When to Let Go

The Battersea Bridge by pininglock (M, 2,585 w. || MCD, Angst, Grief, Unhappy Ending) – A life without John Watson isn’t a life worth living.

You Paid Me Well In Memories by Ballykissangel - (K+, 3,149 w. || Heavy Angst, Hurt, Comfort, Grief) –  It’s Sherlock’s birthday and John is not doing well. No matter how hard he’s tried to keep on living, he knows he is going to give up soon and he isn’t going to make it. Today is his last and only chance to visit Sherlock’s grave to talk and give him his gifts: His dog tags, a book full of notes and memories and the meaning of love as Sherlock watches on in grief.

Nothing Quite So Spectacular by Kerkerian-Horizon (K+, 5,762 w. || Drama, Hurt / Comfort, Post-TRF) – How John Watson grieves after Sherlock Holmes’ alleged suicide, and what happens when the detective returns home. Set post-Reichenbach, two parts.

The Tip Over Into The Inevitable by ivyblossom (T, 6,894 w. || Grief, Cuddles, Insomnia, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers) - When his father dies, Sherlock avoids sleeping. Then discovers he can’t sleep at all. John finds a way to help.

Survival Instinct by shirleyholmes (T, 7,162 w. || Post-TRF, First Kiss, Schmoop, Nightmares, Fluff & Angst, Grief, Idiots in Love) – After Sherlock’s “comeback” John starts obsessing with constantly making sure he’s alive (checking his heartbeat etc.)

Checkmate to a Castled King by LaSuen (T, 18,290 w. || Friendship, Hurt / Comfort, Sick Sherlock) - John dies. Or at least everyone thinks he does. (REVERSE-TRF, FAVE)

The Homecoming Series by sussexbound (M, 51,744 w. across 12 stories, WIP || Domestics, PTSD, Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Jealousy, Family Issues, Cuddling) – Sometimes home is all you need. After three years of horror, betrayals, and crushing loss, John and Sherlock find their way back home to one another, and together find new footing in a world that has changed forever.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w. || Pining, Love Confessions, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock POV, Eventual Happy Ending) – “For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face.” Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom (E, 157,369 w. || Post-TRF, John First POV, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Present Tense, Imaginary Sherlock) – “Do you just carry on talking when I’m away?”

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,168 w. across 46 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

MARKED FOR LATER

A Home for Us by sussexbound (NR, 3,440 w. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,505 w. || Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes & Funerals, Angst, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression and Insecurity, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,822 w. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Men Who Talked Between the Words by Odamaki (E, 463,024 w. || Parentlock, UST/URT, Pining Sherlock, Grieving John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Slow Burn/Build, Case Fic, First Kiss / Time, Implied/Referenced Suicide & Drug Use, Slow Burn, Sherlock Whump, Panic Attacks) – John expected to be a father some day; he expected to have the house, and the wife and the nice suburban job. Sherlock never expected to have children, in part because he never expected to make it past 30. As it turns out, you don’t get a choice. Crammed into Baker Street with a baby, John struggles with single-parenthood and his own fears, while Sherlock treads the fine line between doing too little and saying too much.