#when i should be working on chapter 7
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somnia-project ¡ 2 years ago
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i once again wrote a chapter out of order
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akkivee ¡ 1 year ago
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was checking up on hypmic content coming out this week and lmao can you believe we’re getting 3 new song previews, 2 new chapters for the manga, ichiro’s bday, a cute looking summer event in arb, and a hypmic seiyuu event vid all this week 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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mirrortouchedsea ¡ 11 months ago
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getting motivated to work on that kaokana fic finally and i have added like 1k this week.... so much progress for me i'm so happy
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dyed-red ¡ 2 years ago
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nothing makes me as excited as knowing we might get more desiderata soon!
<33333
i've been ignoring work today to write, which is bad and i'm gonna pay for it later in anxiety, but i've been so happy to get this fic finally sorted. for the next few chapters, i'm at:
Chapter 7: 3800 words drafted, all scenes done except final one(s) only roughed in
Chapter 8: 3600 words drafted, first parts in varying degrees of outline to rough draft form, final parts complete
Chapter 9: 6300 words, complete
Chapters 10 - 13: various scenes written in various stages of rough to complete
I'm now assuming 12 chapters in total actually, but it'll depend on how much ends up being cut or combined from my drafts and plans once I get to combining those pieces, and how verbose i feel.
But the end is written now! Or at least the pivotal scene for the end, and that's enabled me to go back and finally get Chapters 7 and 8 into proper shape :D
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queer-flesh-simulacrum ¡ 2 years ago
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imposter syndrome is very real
especially when it isn’t 😌
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saph-yells-into-the-void ¡ 14 days ago
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I FINALLY FINISHED CH 6 OF MY KUNIGIRI FIC
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kindsummer ¡ 9 months ago
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distracted you say? 🪲 for the ask then!
🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
“It isn’t flowery prose, but it will certainly do, Benny. I’m sure your parents are just happy to hear from you, especially if they’re keeping an eye on the 100th casualties,” Matt often wondered how many of their parents read their daily newspapers with bated breath, worried that this time would be the one that was of their worst nightmares. “Is Marge your older sister?” 
Benny nodded, exhaling a cloud of smoke from the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. One of them. Francis is the eldest, my brother, then it’s Marge, Mary, me, and Veronica. I’ve always been closest with Marge, though. This heat makes me think of how we’d go ice skating at Millennium Park every December and ended up tripping each other more than actually skating. Hot cocoa from a street vendor heals all ice skating wounds, I can confirm.” 
Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game !!
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ginalinettiofficial ¡ 1 year ago
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already posted one fic to ao3 today but might fuck around and post another in another fandom just to keep things spicy
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spencerrreiddd ¡ 4 months ago
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Three, Two, One. - Chapter 1
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Summary: You and Spencer have worked in the BAU together for years, since the beginning but now, he's your boss and something quite big is happening in your life & soon to be Spencer's life after needing each others help to unwind.
Pairing: UnitChief!Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader
WC: 3.3k
Warnings: Pregnancy, Angst, Cheating??
A/N: LOW & BEHOLD- here lays my first beauty. - my apologies is this is complete shit, I have not written in a while & I may have to get my special touch back. - anyways, i hope you guys like it ! 🔪🤍
Three, Two, One. Chaper 2.
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three, two, one-
pregnant.
You were pregnant. You were pregnant with your bosses baby.
Spencer has not always been your boss, you actually started working for the BAU a month before he had even started working there.
He took over Emily's position once she moved up to FBI Director a few months back, at that congratulations party is when something sparked between you and Spencer- just, neither of you acted on it
You remember exactly how and when it happened too, it was the party after his promotion to Unit Chief. Goddamn promotion parties. You didn’t think you drank that much, until you woke up naked beside your new boss.
The temptation to pack a bag and hop on a flight across the world sounded so appetizing right now in your mind, too bad that it isn't realistic & you were going to have to face the facts and that was including, him.
There was never any “no speaking of this” - only us meeting up at my apartment, his apartment, our hotel rooms when we were on a case and needed to ‘unwind’ - the last time you and Spence had even slept together was 2-3 weeks ago anyway, of course when y'all needed to unwind after a case. Who could've guessed that one?
You were snatched from your thoughts when you heard your phone ringing from your bedroom- running for it, you were hoping that it wasn't Spencer.
���Penelope Garcia 🖥️💖🍩’ 'thank the heavens' you silently think to yourself
“What’s up, Penny”
“Spencer is busy, he put me on duty to call you to find out if you plan to show your face at work today, ya know- since it is a work day and no show, no calls are frowned upon here" Your neck snaps to look at your alarm clock.
"Also, he wants to see you in his office once you get here"
7:32 A.M - have I seriously been staring at a positive pregnancy test for an entire hour?
“Fuck. See you soon. I'm leaving right now"
The short drive to work felt longer than it should have, probably because you took back roads to avoid having to see him again so soon. If you were already running late, what is a few extra minutes?
So many thoughts flying through your mind. How are you going to tell him? Oh hey, by the way, ya knocked me up so what’s the plan bud?!
“I'm doomed" You mutter to yourself getting out of your vehicle to go face reality, to go face the man of your now growing child. This has to be a nightmare.
Getting off of the elevator, the first person you saw was Alvez- boy, you were thankful that it wasn't Spencer, even though you'd be seeing him in just a few minutes.
"Looks like you saw a ghost"
"Yeah, Luke, something like that"
"You want to talk about it?"
"Not right now, I just want to forget about it- I need to see Pen" yeah, Y/N, like you'll actually be able to forget about it.
You make a beeline directly for Penelope's office, you have to tell someone about this before you actually lose your mind.
"Pen, I have news and it has to stay between you and I only"
"Your secret is safe with me, my love"
"I'm pregnant.. with Spencer's baby" you hesitated even saying the last part but wow, that felt good to get off of your chest, too bad it won't feel this easy with Spencer. Just thinking of having to tell him has you feeling like someone is choking you out.
"Oh."
"Oh? Pen, I am in a state of panic, a state of shock and you say 'Oh'- I don't know what to even begin to do here or how to even tell Reid that I am carrying his.. spawn"
"Spencer has a girlfriend or did, as far as I kn- okay, when did you find out” She cuts herself after seeing the look of horror on your face after hearing the beginning of her sentence, understandably so!
You were NOT the type of person to sleep with a taken man.
You were confident that you were about to face plant the ground right here and now in Penelope’s office. Did Spencer have a girlfriend or not? And were you about to go physically fight him for doing this to her, if so? You would be considering yourself jobless at that point.
“I found out this morning, literal minutes before you called me to get my ass here” you were in a pure state of panic and you had many good reasons as to why.
“How long has he had a girlfriend, Pen?” you continued- you were sure your skin was blistering with how hot it was at this point. Was it hot out of anger or the panic attack that was charging at you? Who knows anymore because you didn’t care enough in this single second to sit and determine that.
"I don't know, he just mentioned a date a few weeks ago then didn't mention anything again but I know he's still in communication with her and by the contact name in his phone, I don't think they are just friends" Penelope lets you in on all of this, nervously- like she isn't supposed to be saying anything at all.
"Thanks, Pen" You murmur to her her as you leave, you have to leave her office, the longer you are in there, the more it feels like the walls are literally closing in on you.
Walking into the hallway, you don't know which direction to go- You should probably go see Spencer and give him some bullshit excuse as to why you were late.
It was barely 8 A.M, maybe it was past 8 A.M now- your mind is going too fast to try and keep up with time. Regardless, it's too early in the morning to drop a pregnancy announcement on someone.
Finally, you muster up the courage to walk into the bullpen to go on the hunt for Spencer, as much as your mind and body are telling you to just bolt to your car and never look back.
"Tara, do you know where Spencer is?" You ask quietly, so that you don't disturb the others around you
"No, I saw him walk out of his office a few minutes ago but I haven't seen him go back in. If you find him before me, let me know because I need to go over some things with him"
"I'll go knock and see if he's back, thanks Tara"
You can visibly see his blinds are closed but majority of the time they are closed anyways, so that doesn't even matter to you. Walking up the flight of stairs to get to his office is exhausting, it feels like your legs weigh 1000 pounds each.
Standing in front of his office, you hear talking inside- You can very clearly hear a females voice inside talking to him but you honestly couldn't tell if she was over the phone or actually in his office by how muffled it is, it's safe to assume that it is a phone call.
"No going back now since you're already here" You mumble to yourself
Knock, knock, knock
"Come in" You hear a muffled Spencer behind the door
As your opening the door, you quickly hear him state to the woman on the phone 'I have to go, I'll see you tonight' - God, as if you haven't already wanted to run away all morning, it keeps getting worse.
"Pen said you wanted to see me?"
"Yes, please sit" He says, gesturing to the chair
"Are you okay, Y/N? - You were late this morning, we've worked together for many years now and you've never once ran late, it's not like you not to communicate" You can see on his face that he cares, he didn't bring you in here to give you a lecture over something small, especially since this is your first time ever running late.
"Y-yes, I just woke up late and then getting to my car, I realized I had a flat, so I had to ask my neighbor to use his pump to fill it" You lied straight through your pearly white teeth and you were confident that he knew it to, just by the look he was giving you
He stares at you for a moment, trying to read you for anything. You were thankful for the fact that sometimes you were an impossible person to read
"Please, just communicate next time- It's not a big deal you were late, we just didn't know what was going on until I had Garcia get a hold of you"
"I will, you have my word- Am I good to go now?" You ask while standing up, yes, the talk went better than expected but you still wanted out of this office as fast as possible.
"Yes, thank you for coming to talk to me. Oh, also before I forget to mention it, at some point today whenever we both have free time, I would like to have a conversation. If it's just at the end of the day that's fine. It just needs to happen"
All you can bring yourself to do is nod your head and walk out of the room, based on the ass end of the phone call you walked in on- You have a pretty good hunch what he will be saying to you, especially after what Garcia also let you in on
It makes your heart ache- knowing that he could have a girlfriend, knowing this thing that the two of you had will be coming to an end, by no means were you and Spencer in a committed relationship but you would be lying to yourself, if you said you hadn't gained feelings for him and actually wanted more than just a 'fuck buddy' outcome
"So, is he up in the office? I really need to see him" Tara asks while already walking up there and away from you before you can even give her an answer.
You know for a fact that you are not going to be able to focus on work at all today even if you try your hardest, your anxiety is skyrocketing through the roof waiting for this conversation with Spencer and still, wondering when and how you are going to spill the beans about carrying his growing child.
"Alright, what is your issue? Are you pregnant?" Alvez is like a brother to you, nothing has been off limits in the talking department but this just sent you for a whole loop with how bluntly he asked.
You were confident that if it were possible, your eyes would've popped right out of their sockets and into your lap.
"Alvez, I am not discussing this with you right now" you whisper yelled to him, you didn't mean to come off like a bitch at all but god only knows who could've heard him.
"Well, Y/N, If I am being entirely honest. Penelope lets some things slip from time to time" He states like it's the most obvious thing ever.
All you can seem to do is look at him like a dear in the headlights, you feel your skin getting hot and prickly, it feels like there are someones hands around your throat squeezing harder and harder by the second.
"I have to go, I need to go home, I need air" It all comes out in a panic, you get up from your desk and bolt out of the bullpen and down the stairs, you don't even care to take the elevator. You cannot be stuck in a tight spot right now, a tight spot like an elevator.
"Please, just communicate" - "I will, you have my word" the conversation in Spencer's office goes through your mind and you know that you have to communicate with him that you just left work for the day and you don't plan to come back today, atleast- you couldn't and thankfully, it was Friday.
to: Spencer 'The Genius' Reid
'I have to excuse myself for the day, I'm sorry that I am having to send you a text message about this rather than coming to your office- this is me communicating with you. I will return back to my work duties on Monday, unless of course, a case pops up over the weekend then I will be here'
'also, I know we need to have a conversation, I also have something I need to tell you- let me know when you would like this conversation to take place' -
After sending your texts to Spencer, you set your phone on DND because at this point, you don't want to deal with anything or anyone else today, emergency or not.
Driving home was an entire blur, I mean you made it home alive, so that's what matters, I guess.
Walking inside, you plop onto the couch and turn on your favorite comfort show.. Modern Family.
A few hours later, you wake up in the exact place you laid down at- you thought your couch was so comfy until now when your entire body is in pain.. well, maybe it was your horrible sleeping position.
5:13 P.M -
"sweet baby jesus on a motorbike" You mutter to yourself after looking at the clock
"what are you doing to me?" You ask while poking your non-existent baby bump, granted it was a great sleep so you weren't trying to complain- you had heard from JJ in the past that early pregnancy is exhausting and you will sleep.. ALOT.
**BACK AT THE BAU**
"I just practically asked her if it was true but maybe in a more blunt way, it wasn't meant to come out so.. blunt" Alvez explains to Penelope who apparently watched you sprint out of work.
"I specifically told you not to say anything to her about it, I didn't even mean to let it slip to you of all people, Luke. I don't even think that they were in a relationship which makes this so much more difficult for her, as I could imagine" Pen snaps back at Luke.
"It's not going past me, I'm not opening my mouth to anyone about it" Luke says while walking to the Elevator with Pen, finally the work day was over
"Yeah, you let it slip to someone or who knows, I accidentally do again and Spencer is going to find out which right now, that doesn't need to happen" Pen states while being wildly unaware of who just came up behind them
"What doesn't Spencer need to find out right now and why can't he find out right now?" He asks from directly behind Alvez and Garcia, looking between the two of them for a answer.
Luke and Penelope both seem to jump straight out of their skin, not expecting to be crept up on- in reality, it was not Spencer's plan to creep up on them, he just happened to be leaving at the exact time as them and they didn't hear him coming up in the middle of their 'supposed to be' private conversation that was happening out in the open.
"I- uh it's nothing, well, sir, it's nothing in regards to me, i'm fine- it's not my place to tell you, it wasn't my place to tell, Luke- it just slipped and I am blabbering and I just realized that I need to get home" Before Spencer or Luke could say anything to her or anything more to Spencer, she's in the elevator with the doors closing.
'Nice Penelope, real nice' Luke thinks to himself, feeling a bit annoyed and slightly scared
Turning to look behind him, he sees Spencer's eyes boring right into him like he's staring right into Luke's soul, just waiting and searching for answers.
"Is there anything that you know, Alvez?" Spencer finally breaks the silence, otherwise who knows how long the two of them would've stayed standing there in the awkward paralyzing silence.
"I just know Y/N had to leave early today because, well I don't know why but I just know she left- you're her boss too, she should've communicated with you, right?"
"Right, Luke and she did, I have been trying to text and call her since I received her messages and nothing is going through" Reid is quick to bite back, getting quite annoyed himself being left in the dark and now that he is adding the pieces together, he's assuming these secretive things that "he isn't allowed to know about currently" are about you.
"I don't have any other information, what I told you is all I know- but I do need to get home to Roxy" Luke matter-of-factly states even though Luke knows that Luke is lying, well- not about Roxy but about the first part.
"Mhm, alright. Have a good night, Luke" Spencer gave up on trying to get any information out of the turnips that don't bleed but he is confident when he says this is about you and he will get to the bottom of it.
Back at your apartment, you've finally relaxed after a nice hot shower and ordering from your favorite chinese food joint and yes, still watching your comfort show but this time from the comfort of your own bed.
You still haven't even taken your phone off of DND mode, in your mind all you thought was 'if it is important enough, you know where I live and if you don't, contact Penelope Garcia' and the most important part, you were at peace.
You weren't worried about this pregnancy, you had accepted your fate, you weren't worried about Spencer or his new situ-relationship, you weren't even worried about what had happened with Alvez or Garcia. Peace.
"jesus Spencer, what the fuck" You yell out after walking out of the room and coming face to face with him, to say that you were startled was to say the absolute least
"Well, you would've known I was coming if someone didn't have their phone on airplane mode" He bit back with a darkness in his eyes and maybe a bit of worrisome, you couldn't tell everything with how dark it was.
"I know that I gave people a key to my house for emergencies but our conversation or how I was protecting my peace on a Friday night is not an emergency and frankly, if anyone was that worried, you would've sent someone sooner" You were once again fed up and wanted to continue to be alone with your favorite person, Phil Dunphy.
"I was going to drop our conversation until this weekend or even Monday, when we see each other in person again but funny enough, I was walking out to leave for the day when I walked into Luke's and Penelope's conversation and it was about you and something that I shouldn't be finding out about right now- would you happen to know anything about that?" Spencer replied, getting more and more fed up by the second.
If Spencer didn't know any better, he would say that you looked like you just saw a ghost- he was dead on the money about the conversation and some secret rooting back to you- now to just get it out of you.
Calming down after seeing the state you were rushing into, he comes to you with a softer approach - "Y/N, I want to help you. We've known each other for years, since I started working for the BAU, please let me know. Let me know what is going on. I'm not going anywhere"
You felt like you were about to up-chuck your chinese food all over this poor man, you know you need to tell him.
'Y/N you will never know the outcome of this unless you open your mouth and spill those words to him, be brave, be bold' You think silently to yourself.
"Spencer, I'm pregnant - You are the last person I slept with. I am pregnant with your baby"
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if this is horrible, sue me - i haven't written in forever and honestly, this is a little bit longer than i thought it would be - whoops!
FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED
& yeah, yeah- i left this on a cliffhanger, if you beautiful humans actually like this, i had planned to make this a 2 parter story or who knows, if i make the next part longer then it could be 3 or more parts.
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mountainsandmayhem ¡ 7 months ago
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Pairing: Millionaire Joel Miller x Female Reader
Rating: 18+ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Updated Word Count: 83k
Series Summary: After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.
Content Warning: In order to avoid spoilers I will not be warning you of everything. This story will contain sexually explicit material around the world of BDSM. Please remember that even with the age gap betweeen Joel and Reader, they are both legal and consenting adults. Although my intentions are never to trigger anyone, you are solely responsible for the content you consume. That being said, as a survivor of sexual assault none of this story will contain dubcon or consensual non consent. At the heart of it all, this is a love story.
AN: I figured that @mermaidgirl30, @littlevenicebitch69, @burntheedges and @joelmillerisapunk are all sick of me yelling at them about this story so I should start sharing! Thank you to the 4 of you for all your kind words and encouragement. To the 800+ of you that follow me, thank you for being such beautiful souls and encouraging me to work on my craft. I hope you love this series as much as I love each and every one of you. Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5 - Part One
Chapter 5 - Part Two
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9 - Coming Jan 6
Epilogue- Coming Jan 8
Follow @mountainsandmayhem-updates and turn on notifications for updates.
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makeitmingi ¡ 3 months ago
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Destined To Be A Girl Dad
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Genre: Romance, Comedy, Cute, Fluff
Pairing: San x Reader (y/n)
Characters: Mom!Reader, Dad!San, Daughter (Choi Haeun)
Summary: When San found out you were pregnant with a girl, he could not be happier. You knew that she'll have him wrapped around her tiny finger but he'll gladly be a fool for his princess. And from the moment she was born, he prove it to be true.
Word count: 8K
Warning(s): Mentions of bodily fluids, giving birth, medical procedures, postpartum hemorrhage, (y/n)'s very stressed, scared, anxious and overwhelmed.
[A/N: This is a little 'flashback' chapter to when Haeun was born. I came across a lot of parents showing their newborn daughter and the dad's reactions just reminded me of San so much.]
San was rudely woken up by the sunlight that was streaming in through the gap in the curtains. Before he could even wake his brain, he got out of bed and went to close the curtains. He turned to make sure the sun wasn't bothering you. Thankfully, you were still fast asleep, unbothered by the sun.
"I love you." He leaned over to kiss your head, eyes scanning you to make sure you were comfortable and okay.
"San, I'm fine." You mumbled into your pillow, having felt his gaze on you despite being asleep. San chuckled, pressing his forehead against your temple lovingly.
"Just wanted to make sure you're comfy and safe, baby." He kissed your cheek.
"I'm the size of a whale, I don't even know what it's like to be comfortable anymore." You groaned.
"Don't say that about my princess. She's perfect, you're perfect." He laid down beside you, letting your rest your head on his arm. It was the best was to have you close to him since your belly was in the way.
"At this point, I just want my water to break already." You sighed in slight frustration.
"She'll come when she's ready. I know it's hard, baby. I'm sorry." He pouted, rubbing your arm.
"Want me to massage your feet or get you something?" He offered. With you going to give birth soon, your ankles have been swelling and bothering you so San has been very kind in giving you foot rubs whenever he can.
"No, can you just hold me?" You asked.
"Of course I can do that." San let you move on your own at your own pace to get yourself comfortable. You tilted your body so you could press your face against his chest.
"This should make you more relaxed." San whispered, reaching up to massage the back of your neck and shoulders.
"That feels good. You take such good care of us and she isn't even here yet." You melted into his touch.
"She's not born yet but she's here, she's a part of you. And I'll always take care of you and princess." San chuckled. With the massage and the sound of San's heartbeat, you slowly fell back asleep again.
"Sleep well." He stroked your hair.
Since you were due soon, San had taken some time off work. He still did his practices but there was less travelling just in case you went into labour.
Another thing is that ever since your pregnancy started, San has become a very light sleeper. He was always hyper vigilant and aware of your movements. Not that you wanted him to help you 24/7, he was just worried, he couldn't help it. So when he felt you stir and struggle to sit up, he opened his eyes.
"What do you need, baby?" San asked, sitting up just as you managed to stand on your feet and get out of bed.
"I'm just going to get more water, my bottle is empty. Go back to sleep, Sannie. I can manage it on my own." You giggled and put on your house slippers.
"I can get it for you, baby. I should have filled up your bottle for you before going to bed." He said.
"San, it's really okay. I can get my own water. And you did fill up my bottle, I just drank it all." You assured with a soft smile.
"Okay, call me if you need help." San told you. You hummed and left your shared bedroom to go to the kitchen. He didn't go back to sleep, he just sat there, waiting for a bit before going to help you.
"Sannie, do you want coffee?" You asked.
"I'm good, baby. I want you back in bed with me." He replied. He could hear you laughing.
CLANG!
"Baby!" San shot out of bed and rushed to the kitchen. You were standing there, the glass of water that was in your hand was shattered on the ground. You winced, knees starting to wobble as you held your back.
"Sorry." You groaned amidst the pain that you were in. Now San was worried you hurt yourself.
"It's okay, it's okay. Come. Careful." Holding both your hands in his, San guided you over the broken glass. He was grateful you were wearing the slippers Seonghwa bought you.
"Did the glass get you?" He sat you down and checked you, looking for any signs that you were cut from the glass.
"No, it hurts." You held your back.
"Braxton Hicks?" He bent down in front of you, helping you to rub your back. San knew that you have been having Braxton Hicks since you were going into labour soon.
"No, Sannie. I think it's real. The Braxton Hicks have never hurt so badly and it never reaches my back." You groaned.
"Oh........ OH!" It took a while for your words to sink in as San jumped to his feet.
"We should go to the hospital. Or should I call an ambulance? What should I do?!" He asked.
"Sannie, calm down. It's okay, breathe. It just started so we don't have to go to the hospital yet. But I should start timing how long they last and the intervals between them." You squeezed his hand as you reminded him of what the doctor told you, trying to maintain a smile as you felt him beginning to panic.
"Right, right. I'll help you. Let me clean up the glass first." San was reluctant to let go of your hand but the broken glass on the floor was a hazard to both you and him.
"I'm sorry I made a mess and can't even help clean it up." You sighed.
"No need to apologise, baby. You're in labour. You just focus on yourself and princess." He looked at you with an excited smile.
"You're such a goof." You chuckled. San shot you a flat look with a playful pout before returning back to cleaning. After he was done, San escorted you back to bed to rest.
"Are you timing your contractions? Are they getting more intense?" He asked as he retrieved towels.
"Still manageable." You groaned.
"Alright, come here, baby." San laid out the towels for them, knowing you would be stressed out if your water broke all over the sheets and the mattress.
"Careful. Easy..." He cooed, adjusting your pillow for you so you were comfortable.
"Shall I get you some food? A drink?" He asked.
"No but after the princess comes, I want a big coffee. A BIG coffee, Choi San." You held his collar to show how serious you were. With your pregnancy, you had to severely cut down on your coffee intake, which you did not really like.
"Of course, baby. Anything you want." He kissed the top of your head and went out to the kitchen to fix you snack. You did your best to stay distracted, watching San fancams on your iPad.
"Hey! I'm here!" You heard noises outside and put the iPad down. In came Wooyoung with a big grin.
"So, how's my god daughter doing?" He asked, reaching over to hug you.
"She's not here yet but soon, she'll be here in our arms. Just a little more." You chuckled, patting his back. Wooyoung was also very involved in your pregnancy.
"Even with the man right here, in the flesh, you're still watching his fancams?" He raised an eyebrow, seeing your iPad.
"It distracts me, okay?" Your cheeks heated up, closing the iPad before San could come in.
"Well, it definitely distracts you in one way because that's how my god daughter got here. And perhaps my future god children." He teased and you slapped his arm in embarrassment.
"Anyway, I brought you some food. San's too panicked to cook now but you should get some food in you." He told you. You laughed and nodded your head. Just then, San came in with a tray, plating up the food that Wooyoung had brought along with him. He placed it on the bed for you.
"Come on." Both San and Wooyoung helped you sit up properly so you could eat, even if San insisted on feeding you.
"Ah... Damn it." You cursed under your breath as another contraction hit you. San rubbed your back and let you squeeze his hand until the wave of pain would pass.
"So, how long can this last? Or rather, how long should it last until you go to the hospital?" Wooyoung asked.
"Dude, did you not read the parenting books I got you?" San asked his best friend in disbelief.
"Look, I tried my best to read two! I couldn't continue reading the other five." Wooyoung groaned and whined. You laughed and patted San's shoulder.
"It's fine. Basically, we time how long they last and the intervals between them. Then we go to the hospital." You replied.
"I already texted our OBGYN that the labour has started. She's ready when you are." San informed.
"When I am ready? More like when your daughter is ready." You chuckled. San cooed and kissed your temple. Even if you were full, you tried to eat at least half of what Wooyoung brought you. And you made sure both Wooyoung and San ate too.
"Trust me, you'll both need your energy too." You told them, holding the wall and slowly walking around. San had his bowl in his hand, his other hand held out to support you in case you fell.
"San, eat your food. It's fine, I'll manage on my own for a few minutes." You assured.
"No, I'd rather just be here by your side." He shook his head as he chewed his food.
"Is your go bag packed?" Wooyoung asked.
"Oh, I need my phone charger and the book from my nightstand." You replied. San was going to go but Wooyoung held his hand out to stop him, going into your room to retrieve the items for you.
"Don't know if you're going to be able to get much reading done with the princess here." San laughed.
"That's why I have you and Woo, right?" You joked.
"That's right. I am not leaving my princess' side." Wooyoung declared as he came out with your items, tucking them into the bag that you had packed and ready on the couch.
"You mean, my princess." San corrected with a glare. Wooyoung rolled his eyes. You laughed with a shake of your head. If the two were already fighting before your daughter was born, you can only imagine how much worse it was going to be when she actually gets here. Not the mention, the 6 other uncles waiting.
"She's not even here yet and you two-" You stopped mid sentence as you felt a pop.
"What?" San asked in confusion and worry. Until you both looked down and saw the trickle of liquid go down your leg.
"I think now's a good time to go to the hospital." San said and you nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up. You were frozen in your spot as the trickle was consistent.
"Text my parents. Tell them her water broke and we're going to the hospital now." San told Wooyoung as he pulled on clothes and grabbed you a hoodie that he knew would keep you comfortable.
"What's wrong, baby? Does it hurt?" San frowned, wondering why you haven't moved.
"It's dripping..." You mumbled, hiding your face in your hands.
"Hey, it's okay. It's okay, it's normal." San hugged you, rubbing your back. Tears welled up in your eyes, you didn't know what was happening, you just couldn't handle it.
"It's so embarrassing, I'm going to die." You cried. Even if you expected this to happen and knew it was going to happen, it still felt so embarrassing to have your bodily fluids leak out of you, especially in front of Wooyoung.
"(y/n), listen to me. This is normal, you're giving birth. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." Wooyoung assured.
"It's alright, hmm? Don't worry." San kissed your cheek, wiping your tears away. You nodded tearfully and squeezed San's hand as he slipped your shoes on for you and guided you out of the house.
"Careful, easy." San placed a towel on the passenger seat for you to sit before loading up the car and driving to the hospital.
"Oww..." You took deep breaths, feeling the pain become more intense and frequent.
"Sir, you can't park here." The guard said as San stopped his car.
"I know! I know! But my wife is in labour, can you help her? I'll move my car right after." San came out and opened your door. He watched as the guard called nurses to come with the gurney.
"I'll see you inside, baby." San squeezed your hand. You nodded and shot him a small smile before he got in the car and went to park.
Of course, you were slightly freaked out that you were now alone and without San, you were scared and nervous. But a part of you didn't want to make him panic even more so you took a deep breath and tried your best to calm yourself down, telling yourself that he'll be back by your side soon.
"Hey, (y/n)." Your OBGYN came into your delivery room. Since your water broke, the nurses brought you to the delivery room right away instead of checking you into a ward.
"Dr Min, I'm glad to see a familiar face." You smiled tearfully.
"Hey, I'm here for you and your baby. You're in safe hands." She patted your shoulder and began to check you.
"San's parking the car but he said he got you up to speed on everything? My brain's just a little foggy now." You admitted honestly, watching her put on her gloves.
"Yes, he did. Don't worry. I'll just check you now to see how dilated yet." She told you.
"I'm here! Is she born yet?!" San burst into the room, breathing heavily. The nurses in the room giggled at his outburst.
"Sannie, shhh. No, she's not born yet." You chuckled, opening your arms for him. As San made his way over, he smiled at Dr Min and gave you a hug.
"Looks like we're getting there but not yet. We'll have to wait a little more." Dr Min said, standing back up and removing her gloves to throw them into the bin. You let out a long, defeated sigh and San stroked your head.
"Thanks, Dr Min." San bowed his head.
"Don't be discouraged. Baby girl will be here soon." Dr Min smiled softly at you. You nodded and waved as she left the room. San pulled up a chair so he could stay by your side as the wait began.
"Are you sure you don't want anything for the pain?" San asked, his eyebrows furrowed.
"I'm okay. It's all on our princess, we'll wait until she's ready." You said, reaching up to hold his face in your hands.
"But you're in pain and I don't like seeing you in pain." He kissed your hand. One of the options that you and San had discussed was inducing or speeding up the birth but you wanted to push through.
"You're so strong, baby. You're a good omma." He smiled softly, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.
"You do whatever makes you feel comfortable, okay? It's your decision." He assured.
"Thanks, Sannie. I just feel better with you here." You said. There was no other person you would rather have a child with. San was always there for you, always supportive and encouraging. He never pushed you to do anything you didn't want to do, he trusts your instinct and decisions for both yours and your daugher's wellbeing.
"You know I'll always be here for you and for the princess." He pressed your hand against his cheek.
"I just want her to be okay." You teared up. Hearing your suddenly serious words, San stood up from his seat, leaning over you. His eyes searched yours.
"Hey, hey. Where's all this coming from? Baby, you'll be okay. Both you and princess will be okay. I've got you both." He frowned.
"I know, I just suddenly feel so scared." You rubbed your eyes like a little child crying to her parent.
"It's normal to be scared. But don't be. Dr Min and everyone will take care of you." He comforted. As another contraction hit, you winced and squeezed San's hand. He rubbed your back soothingly.
"Let me get you some water. Breathe, baby." San poured cold water into a cup for you and held the straw out for you to drink.
"Thank you." You coughed slightly and grabbed a towel you bought to wipe your tears and sweat.
"Princess, I know you're comfy in there but omma is dealing with a lot of pain. Be a good girl and make it easy for omma." San said, pressing his ear to your stomach like he always did throughout the pregnancy. You ran your fingers through his hair.
"Ooh, she did not like that." San chuckled as both you and him felt her move and kick where his ear was. San pouted at your daughter but still planted a kiss to your belly.
"I'm gonna miss her kicks." San pouted at you.
"Alright, I don't know what you're implying but slow down, cowboy." You pushed his forehead.
A few more hours passed with San staying by your side and helping you through the contractions. Your parents and San's parents came, both mothers making sure you were okay and comfortable.
"Okay, omma. Let's see where baby girl is at." Dr Min came in again. San wiped the sweat off your forehead for you.
"Looks like we're ready to start pushing." Dr Min's head popped up.
"We'll be outside. Call us if you need anything." Your mom and Mrs Choi said, leaving the room to give you and San some privacy. They didn't want to overwhelm you further.
"I've got you okay? Don't be afraid, you can do this, baby. I know you can." San looked down at you and you nodded. With the guidance of your OBGYN, you began to push. San squeezed your hand and you tried your best to push. Even when you got tired, all the staff were encouraging to you.
"I can see the head. You're doing great, (y/n). Just a little more." Dr Min told you.
"She's out, she's out." Dr Min announced and clamped the cord, separating your baby from the placenta. You both watched as she handed the baby to the nurse practitioner.
"She's here." San excitedly looked over but still remaind by your side. Even as your daughter let out her first big cry.
"Go, see your princess, comfort her." You patted his hand. All you had to do was deliver the placenta.
"Cut here." The nurse handed San the scissors to cut the umbilical cord. He couldn't even stop the huge grin from forming on his face as he watched his daughter.
"Hi there, it's okay. Appa's got you." San cooed as the nurse placed the baby in his arms.
As much as San wanted to hold her longer, he knew skin to skin with you was more important. So he brought her to you immediately.
"She's perfect." San smiled as he lowered her down to you. You smiled tired and weakly, eyes blinking slowly. And before San could release her into your arms, your eyes closed and your head dropped. San's eyes widened in shock.
"She's hemorrhaging! Doctor!" The nurse yelled and Dr Min ran over as the machines beeped in alarm.
"Baby?! (y/n)!" San yelled out in fear. Your daughter began to cry and San felt tears in his eyes too. What was happening? What was going on? All he could see was your pale face.
"BP dropping. Someone take Mr Choi and the child to another room." Dr Min ordered.
"Please, save my wife." San begged as the nurse led him to another room.
"We will try our best, Mr Choi. Dr Min is the best. But now, you need to have skin on skin with your daughter." The nurse advised calmly and San handed the baby to her.
"Like this?" San removed his shirt, letting the nurse lay the baby against his chest. The moment she did, the baby calmed down.
"Please go save her." San cried. The nurse nodded and left the room. His parents and your parents came in, all panicked. Of course, San wanted this to be a joyous occasion, he waited so long to meet his daughter and now she was here, in his arms. But he just couldn't, knowing you were unconscious.
"What happened?" Your mother asked worriedly.
"I don't know. I think they said she's hemorrhaging. She was fine, all she had to do was deliver the placenta. I shouldn't have left her side." San cried.
"San, San. Calm down. (y/n)'s going to be okay. You need to be strong for her and your daughter." Mrs Choi told him.
"Okay." San took deep breaths. He and his daughter seemed to be able to calm each other down.
"She'll be okay." Your mother assured, wiping San's tears. San looked down at the baby that was sleeping on his chest. He gently kissed the top of her head.
"Omma will be okay." He whispered. Soon, another nurse came in with a baby basinet.
"How's my wife?" San asked.
"I'm sorry, sir. I don't know. I need to bring the baby for her checks." The nurse apologised. San didn't want to let his daughter go, even with his mother around, he felt like your baby was the only thing that could comfort him now.
"Can it wait?" San pleaded. The nurse looked conflicted, unsure of what she should do.
"I'm sorry. But if there was a birth complication, we need to check. I promise I'll bring her back as soon as possible." The nurse said. San reluctantly handed the baby to her.
"Mr Choi?" Dr Min came in and San immediately stood up, even when his shirt wasn't fully buttoned up yet.
"Doc, how is she?" San felt like he couldn't breathe.
"She's fine. Out of the woods. Bleeding after birth is normal but she bled a lot. But don't worry, she's okay. She's recovering. I'll need to keep her here for a few days longer though." She informed.
"Of course, anything. We'll stay for as long as she'll need. Thank you so much." San bowed deeply to the doctor.
"Now go be with your wife. I had the nurses send her up to your ward already." Dr Min smiled and San went up to the ward where you were wheeled up to.
When San entered, you were fast asleep, probably tired for the birth and the huge loss of blood. But San knew you were a fighter. He hovered over you and kissed your forehead, feeling another round of tears threaten to fall. Obviously he didn't know the severity of the bleed but he knew he almost lost you.
"I love you. Thank you." He pressed his head against yours. As he took a chair to sit, he held your hand the entire time.
"You did good, baby. You did so good, you deserve to rest. She's perfect, an angel just like you. Sleep for as long as you want." San said to you, even though you were asleep.
When you woke up, you looked around in confusion. Until your eyes fell upon San, walking around with a bundle in his arms, singing softly.
"Look who it is, baby girl." San turned and realised you were awake.
"San..." You began to cry. San put your daughter back in her basinet and came over to you.
"It's okay, you're okay. I got you. I got you." He hugged you tightly, his hand resting on the back of your head. You cried into his shoulder and San felt a lump in his throat too.
"You did so good, baby." San continued to comfort you for as long as you needed.
"Can I see her?"
"Of course you can, baby! You're her mom!" San laughed and went over to pick up the baby that was beginning to fuss. But as San gently laid her on your chest, the baby calmed down. She blinked up at you and you smiled softly.
"Hi there. You're so cute... You're perfect. Did you name her yet?" You cooed and looked up at San, who was smiling at both of you. He shook his head.
"You should name her. You've let me make a lot of decisions in the pregnancy, you should name her." You told him.
"Baby, I let you make those decisions because it was your body, you were the one going through the pregnancy, not me." San laughed.
"But I do have one name that I like. Haeun." He added.
"Haeun, Choi Haeun. I like it. It's perfect for her. Welcome to the world, Haeunnie." You smiled at her. San gave you a kiss then kissed the top of Haeun's head.
Since you woke up, San called Dr Min to come and check on you. At the same time, the nurse taught you how to feed Haeun.
"You gave us a scare earlier but you're fine now, (y/n). Nothing major. However, I was mentioning that I would need you to stay in a little longer just for observations." Dr Min explained. You nodded obediently, too preoccupied with staring at your daughter that was drinking from you hungrily.
"Thanks, Dr Min." You and San bowed your heads as she took her leave. You smiled softly, watching Haeun grasp your finger in her hand as she drank.
"You must have been hungry, my love." You cooed.
"She has a big appetite like her dad." San grinned proudly at you, making you scoff.
After Haeun had her fill, she fell asleep. You couldn't get up so the nurse came in to help you with cleaning her and changing her diaper before wrapping her up in a swaddle.
"Oh, so that's how you do it." San said, looking over at the nurse's actions, his glasses on as he took notes on his phone.
"Hey, grandpa. Can I get a glass of water, please?" You teased. San's head whipped around to glare at you.
"You're lucky you're cute." He glared with a pout as he handed you the water. You grinned cheekily as the nurse placed the swaddled Haeun in the basinet and wheeled her by your side. But San constantly hovered over her.
"Let her sleep. Nothing will happen with her a few inches away from us." You chuckled. You and San enjoyed each other's silence, well it was more like San not being able to take his eyes off Haeun.
"Knock knock." The door opened and Wooyoung poked his head in with the others, all carrying flowers, gift baskets and balloons.
"She's sleeping." San quickly shushed everyone.
"Sorry, overprotective dad over here." You snickered. Hongjoong held up a huge cup of iced coffee for you and you swear you nearly cried at the sight.
"Lifesaver." You whispered gratefully and received the cup in your hands to take a big sip.
"Slow down, baby. You shouldn't finish it in one go." San stopped you, placing his hand to push the cup away from you.
"I pushed a bowling ball out of me. Please just let me have this." You begged. San sighed in defeat and let go, letting you enjoy your coffee. But of course, you did heed his advice and drank slowly.
"Oh my gosh... She's the most perfect little angel." Wooyoung cooed, trying to contain his squeal, leading to him slapping Seonghwa's shoulder. Seonghwa hissed and pushed Wooyoung away. Before they could all get too close, San stepped between them and the basinet, pointing to the sink.
"Wash first." San ordered.
"How are you?" Jongho asked, taking a seat by your side. You assumed San had told everyone about the complication after birth.
"I'm okay now. I think it gave all of us a scare but the doctor stopped the bleeding and I'm fine, just have to stay in here a little longer for observation." You shrugged.
"That's good." Yeosang hummed. You watched as San reluctantly let the boys carry Haeun.
"She's so cute when she sleeps." Yunho cooed over Wooyoung's shoulder.
"I have a feeling everything she does is going to be cute to all of you." You laughed. You trusted San to watch out for Haeun and help the boys properly hold her so you could relax.
"You should rest more. I'm sure you've been through the wringer. We brought you food too." Mingi told you, adjusting your blanket properly. You smiled gratefully, watching Seonghwa take a rice porridge out of the container for you.
"We didn't even ask her name yet." Seonghwa said, wheeling the table close to you so you could eat.
"Her name is Haeun, Choi Haeun." San smiled proudly.
"What a perfect name for a perfect princess." Wooyoung cooed softly at the baby in his arms. After a bit, Haeun woke up and began crying. San patted your hand and went to retrieve her from Wooyoung.
"Don't worry, appa's got you." He swayed, patting her back softly to soothe her.
"He's got it. Eat up, get your energy back." Jongho encouraged. You took a spoon and began eating, glacing over at San and Haeun.
"We should go, give you three time to rest." Hongjoong said, checking his watch. The boys came over to give you hugs while San watched with a frown.
"Stop hugging my wife." He whispered harshly, careful not to disturb the now calm Haeun. Only when he placed her back in the basinet, he happily hugged the members who congratulated him again.
"I can't believe she's finally here. The princess is finally here." San let out little squeaks of happiness as Wooyoung hugged him. Wooyoung nodded with a soft laugh and patted San's back. Everyone was waiting for your baby's arrival, even more so when it was announced that you were having a girl.
"We'll see you soon. Take care." Yunho waved as the boys all left.
"She's asleep, Sannie. You can put her down." You chuckled. San looked up at you with a disappointed smile.
"You can watch her. I want cuddles." You held your arms up. At that, San placed Haeun down and came to you. Luckily the hospital bed was big enough.
"Are you feeling ill? You have to tell me or inform the nurse." He said as you laid on his chest.
"I'm fine, Sannie." You squeezed his arm, snuggling closer to him. San He reached over you and rubbed your back.
"I love you. You did so good, baby. Thank you so much for giving me my princess. Really, thank you. I can't thank you enough." San repeated, planting many kisses on your head.
"There's nothing to thank me for, San. I'm lucky to have you with me and to be the one to have your daughter, you've been the perfect partner. You're such a great dad, she's lucky that she'll have you to raise her." You smiled up at him.
"You always speak so lowly of yourself, my love. I'm lucky to have you and her now. And she has the best mom in the whole wide world. So she's pretty lucky." He said.
"Yeah." You nodded, the both of you looking over at your sleeping child.
"Is it weird that I already love her so much? Like looking at her makes my heart hurts." San asked.
"Not weird, that's called being whipped. Or being a fool for your daughter. She's a few hours old and already has you wrapped around her tiny finger." You lifted up your pinky finger.
"Don't make fun of me." He whined.
"But she's finally here, San. She was inside of me and now, she's right there. She's laying there, sleeping, breathing on her own." You said.
"All thanks to you, baby. Now, you should continue to rest. You're not 100% yet, take all the time you need to recover." San reached over to lower the lights so you could sleep. Since you were still feeling weak, it didn't take long for the tiredness to wash over you and you fell asleep in San's hold.
You were woken up by Haeun's crying but San already jumped out of bed, going to her to scoop her up into his arms. As you turned up the lights, you watched San try to soothe her.
"She could be hungry." You rubbed your eyes tiredly.
"Are you okay to feed her? We can use formula if you still feel weak." San asked with a worried frown.
"I'm fine. I just need the pillow." You said. San nodded and let you carry Haeun while he put the 'U' shaped pillow under Haeun and around your waist so you wouldn't have to carry her full weight.
"Is this okay?" San asked, adjusting the pillow properly. You hummed and fed a fussing Haeun.
"Good girl, Haeun. It's okay." You stroked her head as she drank from you hungrily.
"My poor baby must be tired." San came and reached over, cupping your cheeks. You smiled tiredly, knowing that this is going to be your routine for a while. But it was comforting to see Haeun peacefully drinking and staring up at you.
"Awww, now you're nice and full, aren't you, angel?" You cooed as she released you so you could cover yourself up. Since you were still feeling weak, San helped you with changing her diaper.
"Post birth poops are awful." You groaned.
"Nonsense, my princess' poop doesn't smell at all." San grinned dreamily, cooing at Haeun who squirmed.
"There we go. All done." San gently lifted her up, pressing a kiss to her cheek before placing her back into your arms. Haeun stared at you and you smiled at her.
"Your dad has become such a fool for you, hmm?" You tapped her cheek and she grasped your finger.
"Don't call me a fool in front of her." San scoffed. You smiled cheekily and San reached over to pinch your cheeks for teasing him.
"She's asleep." You shushed San.
"You should sleep too, baby." San waited for you to be ready to hand Haeun over him. Once you did, he placed her back into the basinet and tucked you back into bed, getting in beside you. He couldn't sleep without you by his side too. San softly sang to you until you fell back to sleep.
And over the next few days, San took great care of you and Haeun. He prioritised your recovery and took over so many tasks, making sure you were not pushing yourself.
"Hello?" Wooyoung came in.
"Shh, they both just went to sleep." You said from your spot on the couch, nodding over to where San was asleep in your hospital bed.
"Stealing the patient's bed?" Wooyoung tilted his head with a snort as he looked at his best friend. Despite being asleep, San's hand rested on the edge of Haeun's basinet.
"How are you?" Wooyoung asked, sitting beside you.
"A lot better. Can't wait to discharge tomorrow. But I couldn't have done it without Sannie, he's been taking great care of us." You smiled.
"He is a good partner and dad." Wooyoung agreed with a hum. With San and Haeun sleeping, Wooyoung decided to cut up some fruit for you to eat.
"I'm grateful that Haeun is such an angel baby and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mother. She's so patient and loving, rarely cries except for milk or diaper changes. But I can 100% say, she's a daddy's girl for sure." You giggled.
"Of course she is. San must be ecstatic." Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
"I haven't seen the smile leave his face since the day she was born. Everything she does, he thinks it's the best thing since sliced bread." You smiled at a sleeping San.
"He's a fool for her already. But I can't blame him, she's perfect." Wooyoung shrugged and you pushed his shoulder.
"You are just as big of a fool for her." You accused. But deep down, you were glad that Haeun is going to grow up with love from everyone.
"Look who is awake." You were washing your hands when you realised Haeun had woken up and was just laying there without making a fuss.
"Uncle Wooyoung is here to see you, baby." You lifted Haeun out of the basinet and kissed her cheeks.
"Ack. Luckily we're in a hospital because she's going to give me a heart attack." Wooyoung fangirled as you placed Haeun in his arms.
"Haeun." San shot up, having realised the basinet moved slightly from when you picked Haeun up. His sudden movement had made you jump. He sat up and looked around in slight panic, only to see Wooyoung holding Haeun. He let out a sigh of relief and you went over, standing between his legs.
"She's fine, appa. Wooyoung's got her." You chuckled, running your hands through his messy hair. San put his arms around you to hug you and pressed his face against your middle.
"I didn't even know I fell asleep." He murmured.
"You've been working so hard, taking care of us. You deserve to rest too, Sannie." You comforted him.
"Look at your parents. They're gonna make uncle Woowoo puke." You both looked up to see Wooyoung talking to Haeun, holding her in a way that elevated her to see you two.
"She's smiling." You pointed at Haeun's brief, lopsided smile.
"She just loves uncle Woowoo the most." Wooyoung cooed. San didn't take too well to that comment and marched over.
"My baby." He emphasised, taking Haeun out of Wooyoung's arms. He smiled down at her, planting a kiss to her head. You just shook your head at them.
When it was time to feed Haeun, Wooyoung took his leave. As you sat against the headboard to feed Haeun, San massaged your feet, noting that your ankles were still slightly swollen so he put on compression socks for you.
"Are you still feeling sick?" He asked worriedly.
"No, I feel fine actually. So we can go home tomorrow." You smiled excitedly, looking down at Haeun.
"A-Are you sure? Because if you don't feel right, you should stay for a few more days until you're sure you're 100% well again. Maybe we should speak to Dr Min." San suggested.
"Sannie..." Luckily Haeun finished feeding so you could put her back in her basinet. You moved closer to San.
"What's wrong, Sannie?" You cupped his cheeks with a concern frown. You searched his eyes and all you saw was fear in them.
"I was just really scared. When you lost consciousness, there was so much blood. The doctor and nurses were rushing..." San struggled to breathe and you hugged him, letting him lean on your shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Sannie..." You hugged his head.
"I thought I was going to lose you..." He muttered softly, hands gripping your waist. You rarely see San cry so seeing him cry and be so vulnerable around you was indicative of how scared he really was. And for San, he always believed that he has to be your rock so he really tried to keep it in.
"You've been through a lot too, Sannie. But we're here for you, both me and Haeun. You don't have to go through this alone." You stroked the back of his head.
"You won't lose me, lose us, so quickly. I love you." You lifted his head and gave him a kiss, caressing his cheek.
"I love you too." San wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to sit on his lap.
"Baby girl's smiling at us." San chuckled. You lifted your head from his chest to see Haeun looking at the both of you, squirming in her wrap but her head turned to smile at you and San.
"Our baby. That's our baby." You smiled softly and San turned his head to meet your eyes, nodding in agreement.
"I still can't believe she's here. No more talking to her through the tummy." San chuckled.
"Well, before you know it, she'll be able to reply to you when you actually talk to her." You said. At your words, San held his chest dramatically, squeezing his eyes shut like he was going to implode at the thought of Haeun growing up.
"Alright, appa... Breathe. Don't have a heart attack here or I'll need to call the nurses." You patted his arm. San pursed his lips and just pressed a kiss to your shoulder.
"Thank you so much, Dr Min." You said as you hugged the doctor, who patted your back.
"Take care of yourself, (y/n)." She chuckled.
"Do we have everything? I feel like we're forgetting something." You heard San in your room, trying to pack up everything, making you and Dr Min giggle.
"You and baby girl will be just fine." Dr Min squeezed your shoulder and left while you entered your ward.
"Everything okay in here?" You asked.
"Just fine, baby. Whatever we forget, we can buy again. As long as I have princess and you, that's most important." San grinned, holding the baby carrier basket with Haeun sleeping soundly inside.
"Want me to carry her? Or get the bags?" You offered. San shook his head, holding Haeun away from you as if you will steal her and run. Even if the doctor cleared you, San didn't believe you were entirely recovered so he didn't want you doing any heavy lifting or anything strenuous. You just walked beside him.
"Also, baby. Even though the news is out that baby girl is born, KQ says that they'll do whatever it takes to keep her picture and name out of the press." San informed.
"Great, remind me to send them a thank you basket." You chuckled as you both walked to the car.
"Are you excited to finally go home with us, princess?" San cooed to Haeun.
"You're asleep and probably don't care as long as there's milk, right?" He continued to talk to her as he loaded the basket into the car seat inserts that he had already installed previously.
"She's so cute when she sleeps." You adjusted her blanket as you sat in the backseat with her while San drove.
"She's cute doing anything, please. She's our child, of course she's cute." San scoffed from the front seat and you shot him a flat look.
You stifled a laugh to yourself, imaging how things are going to be when Haeun grows up, she'll definitely be leading her father by his nose. Well, in his defense, he did warn you about how he would be if you got pregnant with a girl.
"We're home, princess. Home sweet home." San cooed as he helped to remove the carrier from the seat clips. You unlocked the door to your home and took a deep breath.
"Feels good to be home." You let out a content sigh. San chuckled and leaned over to kiss your cheek.
"I need a shower." You groaned. San hummed and let you go. But you didn't want to shower too long, wanting to relieve San for a bit.
"Sannie, I'm-" You came out of the shower to see him fast asleep on the couch, sitting up and holding Haeun to his chest, who was also still asleep.
"Aww, look at you two." You whispered and took your phone to snap a picture, a smile on your face.
Only when Haeun woke up and fussed then San woke up, immediately patting her back to try and soothe her.
"It's okay, appa. Take a break, I've got her." You smiled and took Haeun from him. San nodded with a tired smile and leaned back into the couch to rest. You leaned over to kiss the top of his head before walking to get Haeun's diaper changed. Then you checked if she was hungry before feeding her, sitting in your rocking chair.
"My love. You are so beautiful." You gently stroked her head as she drank from you. You softly hummed 'Mist' to her with a soft smile on your face.
"Thank you for being born." You giggled.
When she was done, you burped her and walked around with her in your arms, still humming to her.
"Look at your appa sleeping. He's been taking such good care of us, baby. He'll protect you and love you forever, you're such a lucky girl." You spoke to Haeun, who blinked up at you.
"My two girls." San woke up, stretching his limbs and yawning as he caught you and Haeun.
"You should sleep more, Sannie." You said, sitting by him.
"I'm good. You should rest more, the birth and everything must have been tiring on you." He stroked your head. You handed Haeun over to him, letting her rest on his chest.
"I'll heat up some food for our dinner. You should skin on skin with her if you can. Dr Min says it'll help." You patted his thigh and went to the kitchen to heat up the food that your mother and San's mother had helped stock in the fridge.
"Auh, go to sleep, precious. It's okay to sleep. Appa is here." You could hear San speak to Haeun.
"You're really destined to be a girl dad, San." You stood at the kitchen entrance, seeing San coax Haeun to sleep. He sat there, shirtless with the small baby against his chest.
"I am. I am destined to be this girl's dad." San agreed, smiling down at Haeun, who was slowly going to sleep.
"ATINY will eat this up if they saw you." You joked. San rolled his eyes but still posed for you to take a picture of him to save.
"So, we're establishing here that you'll be the one to discipline her while I'm the good one that comforts her when she cries right?" San grinned cheekily.
"We'll see about that." You scoffed.
"Thank you, baby. For all that you did and went through for my princess to be born." San leaned over to kiss you.
"You know despite everything, I would do it again. Couldn't have asked for a better partner and we know this girl is the luckiest little girl in the world with such an amazing dad and 7 chaotic, silly but great uncles who will always dote on her." You smiled softly and laid your head on San's shoulder.
"Yes, she will definitely grow up with a lot of chaos. I mean, look at her godfather. He's the definition of chaos." He chuckled.
You nodded, San was right but you knew the boys, especially Wooyoung, would make sure your little girl grows up with all the love in the world.
And that proved to be right because after a day of hanging out with Wooyoung, Haeun came back home and said her first word.
"Sannie!" She lifted her arms up with the biggest grin on her face.
"What did you say, baby?" You stifled a laugh. She repeated it again and you saw San freeze, unsure of how to react. She didn't call him 'appa' but his name was her first word.
"She said her first word." You reminded San.
"Still..." San gave you a look. He was big on respect and traditions, he didn't want Haeun going around calling him by his first name.
"No, not Sannie, princess. Appa. Can you say 'appa'?" San pointed to himself, bending down to her height so he would be at her eye level. You were having a field day and didn't have the heart to correct Haeun, she was just so cute.
"Sannie!" She giggled bashfully. San playfully lifted her up, making her squeal with laughter.
"I'm going to kill Jung Wooyoung." San turned to you.
"Sannie! Sannie!" Haeun gleefully wrapped her arms around San's neck, burying her face against his chest.
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thesparkling-diamond27 ¡ 1 month ago
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Dancing Through Life
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Fiyero Tigelaar x Reader
Summary: Y/n Upperland of the Upper Uplands, cousin to Galinda Upand, doesn’t have a problem with Fiyero Tigelaar, but that doesnt’t mean that she wants him around. However, after one simple walk with the Winkie Prince, Y/n discovers that he’s not so bad after all.
A/n: hi hi! I’m back with a Fiyero one shot, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about the second Bridgerton and I. I’ve written two chapters so far over thanksgiving break and I might try to squeeze in one more chapter or at least half of one before I go back to school. I don’t really have enough time to write when I am at school, so the next time I’ll probably get back to writing during Christmas break which is in a couple weeks. Then I’ll finish the Bridgerton and I and I’m thinking about waiting to finish the Bridgerton and I completely before posting any more chapters, so the ff will probably be finished in December. I wrote this one shot because Wicked has been on my mind 24/7 and I can write whatever comes to mind, but for the Bridgerton and I have to sit down and rewatch Bridgerton episodes so that I can make sure I get all the words exactly right. I hope you guys continue to be patient as I try to finish it :).
I have recently seen the movie Wicked and plan to see 10 million more times because it is SO GOOD. Wicked is basically my whole personality at this point. I was already obsessed with Fiyero, but Jonathan Bailey as Fiyero made my obsession worse (but in a good way :)). And with this obsession comes a Jonathan Bailey Fiyero Tigelaar one shot. I hope you enjoy!! I also have a plan to write another one so stay tuned for that!
It was a beautiful day today, so after class I decided to read at my favorite spot: the bench under the oak tree. I loved it here because it was a peaceful place where I never got disturbed. Or so I thought.
I realized he was near when I heard the sound of boots stepping onto grass. It was only when his shadow blocked the words on the page that I finally looked up.
Fiyero looked down on me with curious eyes, but there was still a charming smile plastered on his face. I tried to hide how his smile affected me, but he must have noticed the change in my demeanor because his smile turned into a smirk.
I thought after my cousin Galinda introduced him to my brother and I earlier today would be the last time I saw him for the day. It appears the Winkie prince had other plans.
“Well what is Miss Upland doing under the oak tree?” He asked.
“Reading.” I held up my book for effect before I continued back to where I left off.
I saw him take a seat beside me on the bench in the corner of my eye.
“It’s Friday.” He continued.
I rolled my eyes. “I know. I can read calendars.” Fiyero chuckled at my blunt and snippy responses. He could clearly tell that I was annoyed by his presence, but he continued to talk anyway.
“It’s Friday and you are here reading under an oak tree. You should be out there having fun.” He used his hands to gesture to all the other students hanging out at the courtyard.
“This is fun to me.”
“School work is fun?”
“Well for your information this book is not for school it’s for me.”
“Well I believe you are filling your head with too many things. You’re thinking too much.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Well that’s not surprising coming from a prince like you.”
“A prince like me?” Fiyero gave a feigned pained expression. “I’m hurt that you would think that way about me.”
“Well I believe that you present yourself as self-absorbed and deeply shallow, but I don’t think you are. I think you use that as a front to hide the fact that you actually care and have thoughts.”
“Excuse me there’s no pretense here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.”
“Okay.” I said not believing him. I shut my book and stood from the bench. I finished the book I was reading and decided to go search for another one to read.
“Well I guess it was nice talking to you.”
I began to walk back to my room, but he blocked my path.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to my room to find another book.”
“Oh come on. Drop the book for once and have some fun.”
“No.”
I pushed past him and walked away without looking back. I was hoping he would leave me alone after that, but luck was not on my side today.
“Since you’re going back to your room, maybe I can save you the trouble of carrying your book all the way back.”
He grabbed the book from my hand before I could say anything.
“Hey give that back!”
I tried to grab the book back, but he raised the book above my head, so that I couldn’t reach and jumping up was no use. Fiyero was laughing at me struggling, so I sighed in defeat.
“Fine. You can help me carry my singular book up to my room.”
Fiyero was happy with my response because he was smiling from ear to ear. We were now standing nose to nose and I could feel his breath fan across my face. If I looked down I would have perfect access to his lips. Wait what was I thinking? I quickly backed away from him before I did anything stupid. Fiyero smiled down at me and said, “See now that wasn’t so hard now was it? Lead the way princess.”
I would he lying if I said I didn’t get affected by his words. Butterflies filled my stomach and I probably would have melted if I didn’t catch myself. What is wrong with me?
“Princess?”
“Yes princess. It suits you. Princess of the Upper Upperlands.” He said with a dramatic voice.
I was about to retaliate when a certain blondey came to mind.
“Shouldn’t you be calling Galinda princess?” I asked.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you two are a thing.”
Fiyero chuckled. “I just met her this morning and besides I’m like this with everyone.”
My heart sunk at his words. So he was just treating me like everyone else? But why was I so upset about it? Just a few hours ago I wanted nothing to do with him and now I was disappointed that he’s not treating me differently.
“And if I called her princess then I wouldn’t be able to call you princess. Princess.” He said with a wink.
That definitely lifted my spirits. Sweet Oz! He was making feel a roller coaster of emotions. I could tell there will never be a dull moment with him.
I gave him a small smile but I looked down on the floor to hide it from him. I didn’t want him to notice that I started to warm up to him, but he saw the slight upturn of my lips.
“Well who knew that Miss Upland could smile. It’s a miracle!”
“Oh shut up!” I said, but you could hear the grin in my voice.
“Besides reading, what do you really do for fun?” I looked up at Fiyero and could tell that he truly wanted to know my genuine answer. So it seems that my premonition about him not being self-absorbed and deeply shallow was true.
“Umm…spending time with friends, swimming. Oh there’s a lake in the Upper Upperlands that my family and I go to every summer to cool off and it has such beautiful scenery. Not to mention the nearby ice cream shop…”
I stopped after I realized that I blabbered on. “I’m sorry I sort of got carried away.”
I looked up at Fiyero, but he didn’t seem bothered at all with my tangent. He actually seemed rather interested with what I had to say.
“No continue.” He said with an encouraging smile.
“No I’d rather not.”
I know he wanted to hear more, but he didn’t push me, which I was glad for. I was a little embarrassed with my little outburst.
“Well how about you discover a new way to have fun?” Fiyero said changing the subject.
“How?”
“Come with me to the Ozdust Ballroom tonight. The most swankified place in town.”
“Aren’t we not supposed to be off campus after dark?”
“Yes, but not being allowed to leave after dark makes it more fun!”
“I’ll pass.”
“Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“I left her at home.”
Fiyero paused before he burst into laughter.
“My joke wasn’t that funny.” But I couldn’t help but laugh along with Fiyero.
Fiyero paused again.“Your laugh.”
I took a few moments to recompose myself before asking, “What about my laugh?”
“It’s beautiful.”
I stopped walking and choked on air.
“What?” I asked, but Fiyero ignored me.
“Which way is your room?”
I realized that we have reached the dead end which separated into two hallways.
“This way.” I said as I begin to walk to the right. I walked a little faster to make this walk shorter. I have embarrassed myself way too many times in a such a short amount of time and I just wanted to smash my pillow in my face and scream. The rest of the way was silent until we reached my door.
“Well here we are. My humble abode.” I said. “Thank you for the uh…walk.”
“It was my pleasure. I hope to see you tonight at the Ozdust ballroom Miss Upland.
“Y/n.”
Fiyero smiled at my response.
“Y/n. I hope to see you tonight.”
I opened the door and was about to walk in, but I turned around instead.
“I know you like to put on the facade that you are this Winkie prince who doesn’t have a care in the world, but you’re also human. Yes you might be self-absorbed and shallow, but that’s not all of you and you have thoughts that should be shared. If you take away your crowd of admirers you’ll be left with the real you. If you want to continue with this role in front of everyone then that’s fine…,but you don’t have to be that way with me.”
Fiyero’s expression was unreadable, but I could have sworn I saw flickers of fear and appreciation.
“Y/n…I don’t know what to say.”
His hands fell to his sides and I realized that he still had my book. I slowly inched towards his hand and pulled the book from his grasp. But before I pulled away I took his hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“You don’t have to say anything.” I said with a smile.
He nodded and with one last squeeze I pulled away and slowly closed the door shut.
—————————
I laid in my bed, for what seemed like hours, contemplating whether I should go to the Ozdust ballroom or not. I turned to my night stand to see that it’s only been a half hour. I groaned in frustration and covered my face with my pillow. Then I heard a knock at the door. I rose from my bed and opened it to see my brother Ezra.
“You. Me. Ozdust. Tonight.” He said as he entered my room.
“You know about that too?” I said as I shut the door.
“How do you know about it?” He asked curiously.
“I was invited.” I said as I plopped onto my bed. Ezra raised an eyebrow at my words and joined me.
“You were invited?! I wasn’t even invited! Who invited you?”
“So how do you know about it?” I asked avoiding what he asked me.
“I overheard some students talking about it, but don’t avoid the question. Who invited you?”
“Fiyero.”
Ezra’s eyebrows shot up to the ceiling.
“Fiyero Tigelaar of Winkie country? But you hate him.”
“I don’t hate him! Where did you get that impression.”
“When Galinda introduced us to him you didn’t seem to be too pleased with him.”
I thought back to the first impression I had of Fiyero when I first met him.
When he first stood in front of me I took a good look at him and he was exactly what I expected from a Winkie prince. He was dressed to the nines from head to toe. You could tell his blue jacket and pants were made to perfection and the gold accents were sewn with precision. His black polished boots were so shiny that you could even see your own reflection in them. And that was just his clothes.
Fiyero had an aura about him. It was as if he believed he always had to be the center of attention. Reminds me of someone that I know, but I know that Galinda has a heart. It was too soon to tell if he genuinely cares, but by the way he acted and the way the students nearby looked at him, I could already tell that his way of life to everyone else was fake.
Then he approached me later on in the day and I got to know him a little more. I soon realized that he wasn’t all so bad by himself. It was only when he was around everyone else where his walls come up and he acts out his facade.
“I guess I had a change of heart.” I finally answered.
“Uh huh. And how did Fiyero even get the chance to talk to you. The only way that can happen is if you two hung out alone.” Ezra said teasingly as he wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed at his antics.
“Fiyero might have interrupted my peaceful reading time earlier today and I got to know him a little more.”
“Oh?!”
“And before you say anything else there was nothing else to it. He offered to walk me back to my room and that’s when he invited me to the Ozdust ballroom. On our walk back I got to know him a little better and he’s not so bad by himself.”
“Hmm hmm.”
“Nothing else happened!”
“Hey I said nothing!” Ezra said as he lifted his hands to the sides of his face in defense. “But this means that you’re coming!”
“I didn’t say yes.”
“Why-“
“But I didn’t say no either. I’m still thinking about my answer.”
Ezra looped his arm with mine.
“Now I’m forcing you to come because I’m coming and I’m not going to have you sit pathetically in your room.”
“I’m not going to—“
“Ah uh. I won’t take no for an answer. And don’t say you don’t have anything to wear. Your wardrobe is almost as grand and big as Galinda’s.”
Ezra did have a point. I worried about my appearance and wardrobe just as much as Galinda, but I didn’t flaunt it as much as my cousin did.
“Come on.” Ezra grabbed my hands and pulled me up from my bed. He led me to one of my luggage’s that turned into a closet with the push of a button. Ezra pushed the button and pushed me towards my array of dresses.
“Well go on.” He prompted.
I stumbled upon the rack and begin to flip through my choices until I came across a dress that brought a smile to my face.
—————————
Ezra and I missed the boat that Galinda and Fiyero went on, so we arrived at the Ozdust ballroom a little later. I peeked over the corner and was in awe with what I saw.
The entrance of the ballroom had a ginormous staircase which led to the dance floor. At the end of the room was where a band of animals were playing the music. On the ceiling schools of fish were dancing in formation to the beat of the music. That’s when I realized that this ballroom was underwater. That was something I’ve never seen before.
Ezra and I began to walk down the staircase and I began to notice a lot of familiar faces from school.
“Do people come here often?” I asked Ezra. He first attended Shiz last year, so he had a whole year of experience before I came along.
“I would say so. It’s where most people go over the weekend, but this is the first time I’ve ever gone.”
I looked at him shocked. “Really?!”
“Yeah. I’ve never been invited and I’ve always wanted to go, but I never knew how to get here until I overheard those two girls talking today.”
“Well today’s your lucky day!” I said with a smile.
“Indeed it is.” He said with a chuckle. “Oh I see some of my friends I invited over there. Will you be okay on your own?”
“Yeah I will. Galinda should be around here somehere.”
“And Fiyero.” Ezra said with a glint of mischievousness.
“Yeah him too.”
Ezra laughed before he walked over to his two friends. Now I was left alone to fend for myself. I noticed a drink table on the side of the dance floor, so I made my way over there.
I had no idea what was in the glass, but it tasted quite good. I sipped quietly off to the side when I noticed a familiar figure approach me.
“Well if it isn’t Miss Upland.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
“Alright then. Princess.”
“Y/n.” I corrected him
“Princess Y/n.”
I figured it would be pointless so I gave up trying to correct him.
“I was almost starting to think you weren’t going to show up. What made you change your mind? Me?”
“Don’t be so full of yourself Fiyero. My brother forced me to come.”
“Aww so I can’t go around telling people that you’re my date tonight?”
I nearly choked on my drink, but I managed to regain my composure.
“Not a chance.”
“What a shame and to think I was going to ask you to dance.”
“I didn’t say no to that.” I said with a teasing smile. Fiyero looked shocked and glad that I was finally playing his game.
“Since you say so, I’ll just take this.”
Fiyero grabbed the drink from my hand and downed the rest of it before setting it on the table.
“Shall we?” He extended out his hand for me to take. I didn’t say anything, but I accepted his hand and he led me to the dance floor.
He began to twirl and whirl me around to the beat of the music and I found a couple laughs slip from my mouth. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time and I couldn’t believe that Fiyero of all people was making that happen.
One by one Galinda, Ezra, and his friends joined us as well. It was great to not care about the trivial things in life and simply dance through life as Fiyero likes to put it.
At one point the band slowed down the tempo of the music to a slower one and Fiyero gave me a knowing look. I looked back at Ezra and he winked at me before walking off the dance floor with his friends. I turned back to Fiyero and grabbed his hand. He gave me a beaming smiling, put his hands on my hips and began to move me across the ballroom floor.
“You know I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier today.” He said.
“About?” But I had an inkling about what he was talking about.
“About me pretending in front of everyone else.” I simply nodded and waited for him to continue.
“I guess I started doing it in order to hide my true depth of character. It was a way for me navigate the superficial social circles and get the chance to meet powerful people. I’ve done it for so long that I forgot what it’s like to just be me, but you were the first person to ever see through that.”
I took a moment to take in his words. It must have been exhausting to keep up that facade for so long. I felt bad for Fiyero. The fact that he felt the need to live like that.
“Well like I said you don’t have to pretend with me. I want to know the real Fiyero Tigelaar. Do you think you can manage to do that?”
“I can for you.”
Under normal circumstances I would have collapsed right then and there there, but that would do either of us no good. Fiyero had just finished telling me something he’s never spoken out loud before and I have to be the support he needs.
He twirled me around once more before pulling me right back into his arms. Then he brought his mouth up to my ear and whispered changing the subject.
“You look beautiful princess. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you tonight. I must say that blue is definitely your color. You are hands down the most beautiful one here.”
“I don’t think so.” I said as I looked down at the floor bashfully.
Fiyero grabbed my chin with his finger and brought my face up to look up at him.
“I beg to differ.” He grabbed a strand of my hair and pulled it back behind my ear. I felt his breath against my ear and shivers traveled down my spine. No boy has ever gave me as much attention as Fiyero has and I was at a loss with what to do. But in a strange way I knew exactly what to do, which is why I was bold enough to try something.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered in his ear.
Fiyero looked confused, but he nodded anyway. I stood up on my tiptoes and went up to his ear, but at the very last second I grabbed his face and connected his lips with mine.
At first he didn’t responded, and I got so scared I got the message wrong, so I almost pulled away. However, he soon reciprocated the kiss and placed one hand firmly on my waist and the other framing my face. The kiss started simple, but then it became more intense. I would have kept on going, but then I remembered where we were.
I pulled away and looked around to see my brother looking at me with a knowing look as if he was saying I told you so. He mouthed, “And you said there was nothing else to it.”
“Shut up.” I mouthed back.
“Do you want to take this somewhere else? Away from the public eye.” Fiyero asked.
I looked up at his blue eyes and thought about being alone with Fiyero. Being able to hold him and kiss him to my hearts desire. I nodded with a smile.
Fiyero smiled back and interlocked our hands. Together the both of us walked out of the Ozdust ballroom without a care in the world and we simply danced through life.
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traveler-at-heart ¡ 2 months ago
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Doctor's In - Chapter 7
Summary: You struggle to relax as you recover from an injury.
Wanda Maximoff x F!R
This chapter contains some badly written smut
Wanda is enjoying this far more than you. Having you home 24/7 seems like a luxury that won’t last long and she’s relishing every second of it.
You, on the other hand, are acting like a caged lion, restless and always looking for ways to pass time, though options are limited with your healing shoulder and bruised body.
This morning, you opted for a stroll while Wanda worked on some sketches. The woman has to do a double take when she’s on a coffee break, because it’s been 40 minutes since you left. And there’s only so much walking a person can do in this neighbourhood.
The answer lies a few houses down the block. Wanda’s walking and looking for you when she spots you in the porch of Agatha’s home. Mrs. Hart and Dottie are there as well, cups of tea and biscuits in a table.
You’re taking Mrs. Hart blood pressure, while she keeps talking about her latest medical appointment.
“Sweetheart” Wanda calls for you. “I need your help in the kitchen”
“Oh, Wanda, I’m so sorry. Y/N here was just walking by and we got talking. She’s so brave for saving that man’s life” Agatha places her hand in your bicep, slightly hoping it annoys Wanda.
“Yes, she is. But now she needs to rest”
“Ladies” you greet, standing up and sighing as you go down the steps. “Sorry” you mutter to Wanda.
“No need to apologize” she stands on her toes to peck your lips. You smile, taking her hand as you both walk back home.
“Next time you’re around I’ll need a physical exam, Doc” Agatha calls and Wanda is about to turn and tell her off when you pull her.
“Nu-uh. Let’s go” you say, sincerely afraid of Harkness.
Wanda remains silent for the rest of the walk and you think she might be upset. That is, until you close the door behind you and are abruptly pushed against it, Wanda’s hand pulling down on your shirt possesively.
“Do I need to tie you up?”
“I wouldn’t mind”
“That’s not what I meant”
“But, baby…”
“You’re still recovering” she warns, but you can tell she is considering it.
“My mouth is fine”  you whine as her lips approach yours. “Please, I have all this pent up energy, and I need some release”
“Is that what you need? Release?”
“Mhm” you nod, your nose bumping against hers.
“Fine” she finally kisses you, and it turns frantic. Wanda starts leading you upstairs, but you shake your head no, going for the couch instead. With the hand that isn’t in the arm sling, you tug at her yoga pants and she slips them down her beautiful legs, panties following suit.
“Come on, here’s your seat” you say, laying down on the couch. Wanda lowers herself, and almost screams when she feels your tongue working quickly around her bundle of nerves.
Without thinking, you suck harder and let your teeth graze her clit, but the feeling of pleasure is so unexpected that Wanda’s legs close around your neck, her knee digging in your bad shoulder.
“Ow, time out” you plead, pain shooting down your arm.
“I’m sorry, I…” Wanda pushes the hair out of her face, looking at you worriedly. “Are you ok? Should we go to the hospital?”
“I’m fine. No need to go and ruin Darcy’s day with the details of our sexcapades, my love”
“You sure?”
“Yes, come here” you ask, and she hesitates, until you pull her down to lie next to you on her couch. Realising she’s naked from the waist down, your hand travels to her ass, looking to squeeze the soft flesh.
“Stop” she warns with her mom voice. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. I thought I broke your neck a second ago”
“What a way to go” you joke, smiling as Wanda laughs against you.
—
Billy writes down in his notebook and you squint your eyes. Fractions are horrible, and how you wish you were helping Tommy with his art project instead.
So, you check the exercise again and sigh.
“I think that’s right, kiddo”
“You sure?”
How bad would it be to say “not at all”? You figure it wouldn’t be wise considering you’re the adult in the room, so you rub your eyes instead.
“I’ll check again after dinner, ok?” you promise, Wanda telling them to go wash their hands.
Going down the stairs, you find your girlfriend in the kitchen. She’s made an effort to cook anything you’re craving, and tonight’s feast is roast beef with potatoes.
“Delicious” you comment, pulling her so she’s pressing against your front.
“Thank you, I think you’ll like it”
“Wasn’t talking about the food” you pull her hair to the side, clearing the path to litter her neck with open mouthed kisses. “I’m not giving up on this even after what happened earlier”
“You mean how I almost broke your neck?”
“Almost being the key word, baby”
The protest dies in her lips as the kids join you in the kitchen. They set the table for the four of you, doing everything they can to keep you from hurting yourself.
Even as Wanda insists on slicing your portion, you drop the armsling, because you’re very picky about the way you cut your meat.
“Childish” she mutters under her breath and you glare, but smile the same.
Dinner is the usual stuff about classes, the upcoming school trip and how Billy thinks you’re so good with fractions.
They’re in the process of getting ready for bed when you Google the answers to the math exercises, and you’re only wrong twice.
Oh, well.
Once the kids are tucked in, you go back downstairs to clean up, Wanda following suit.
“Please let me”
“Come on, I gotta do something around the house”
“You already helped with Billy’s homework”
“Oh, that. I can’t wait for them to start doing square roots so I’m banging my head against the table”
Wanda laughs at that, settling on the countertop as you wash dishes.
“Yeah, I guess you missed the time where homework was easy. Like coloring, or learning vowels”
“Sounds better than fractions” you recognise.
“Don’t be long” Wanda asks, kissing your cheek and going upstairs.
Your shoulders drop a little, and you eye the armsling, but you’re tired of it and feel like it does more harm than good. Leaving it downstairs, you walk up to find your girlfriend preparing a bath.
“Might help relax” she says, and truthfully, you do feel a lot better when she’s taking off your clothes, hands delicately going over your skin. As she walks behind you to place a small kiss in your shoulder blade, her hands stops in a spot you’re always trying to hide.
“What happened to you?”
“Car accident” you say, not in the mood to delve deeper. Turning in her embrace, you unbutton her shirt, kissing down the valley of her breasts. Next are her pants, and you look up with a smile, helping her step out of them.
You sit in the bathtub, letting Wanda rest between your legs. Your hand goes up and down her arm, but your mind is elsewhere.
Especifically, in the pain that hasn’t stopped.
What if it’s something serious? What if you need surgery? And can’t do your job ever again?
It’s all you have, it’s who you are. You don’t know yourself outside of an OR, outside of grueling shifts and hospital walls.
“Can I ask you something?” Wanda interrupts your spiraling thoughts.
“I do think you’re the most beautiful woman on the planet” you say, kissing the spot between her neck and shoulder.
“No, it’s… uh” she hesitates, looking at her hands. “Did you ever think about having children of your own?”
“Oh” you say, frowning. “I don’t know, honestly. I guess all I ever figured out was what I wanted to be, you know? And it’s so demanding that I never thought I’d be a good mother”
“I just… talking about those early years. I love my kids but I don’t know if I’d do it again, start over with a new baby”
“I’m not holding my breath for that, sweetheart” you promise, kissing her temple. “And I’m a workaholic so it wouldn’t be fair to put you through it so you’re alone for a big part of the time”
“Are you sure? If it’s something you want, I can…” she turns around in your embrace, the water splasing a little. “I can try, maybe it’ll be nice”
“I love the way things are” you promise her, looking distractedly at her breasts. “Especially right now. Can you sit closer so I can pay attention to those two?”
“You’re incorrigible” she laughs, her hands going around your neck.
“And yet, you love it”
—
It was hard to sleep with the shooting pain down your arm, but you refused to take anything for it.
By the time you got some rest it was almost 4 AM, so you completely missed breakfast and driving the kids to school.
Probably for the best, since you’re in a foul mood.
“Hey, I have a meeting with Laura. Wanna come with?” Wanda says when you walk downstairs, changed into jeans and a t-shirt.
“Can you drop me off at the hospital?”
“Sweetheart, I know it’s driving you insane but you can’t go to work right now”
“It’s not… that” you say, struggling with your words. You’re so used to solving everything on your own, it’s hard to share that you have any discomfort.
When you were younger, it added to your mother’s stress because she had other things to deal with, so it only made everything worse at home.
“Are you ok?” Wanda asks softly, finally noticing the bags under your eyes.
“I’m just in pain and would like to check everything’s fine”
“Why didn’t you tell me? We should have gone to the hospital as soon as…”
“Wands” you say, overwhelmed at how much she cares. You pull her close, kissing her softly, and she melts against your lips. “It’s nothing serious, promise”
“Ok. Let’s get going, then”
She insists on going with you, but the meeting with Laura is happening, so you just convince her to pick you up as soon as it’s over.
Greeting the people at the front desk, you walk to the staff area, looking for any familiar faces. It’s empty, so the next place is the ER. The sound and rustling make you nostalgic, and there’s gotta be something really wrong with you, because it’s been five days only.
“Can I help you?” Darcy says behind you.
“Looking for a leprechaun”
“I have not missed you” she remarks, and you wanna say something back, but then you notice your ER board.
“Uh, what the hell did you do to my board?”
“It’s color coded!”
“This is an ER! Not arts and crafts, Lewis” you say, feeling like your heart is breaking at the sight.
“Fury likes it”
“Fury can go to… oh, hello, sir” you say, and he glares at you.
“You’re supposed to be resting”
“I have some pain… wanted to check with Carol if everything’s ok”
“Danvers is in the middle of surgery. Will be an hour or so before she’s free” he explains. “How bad is it?”
“A four, maybe” you lie, and he still looks concerned, because in all the years you’ve worked here, you never get sick or complain if you have anything bothering you.
“Get a CT, I’ll go tell her you’re here” he instructs, patting your good shoulder.
Darcy walks with you to get the CT, and once you’re done you both go to the cafeteria.
“Hey, you didn’t bring any cookies” Darcy complains as you pick up a muffin.
“Wasn’t planning on stopping by”
“How’s domestic life? You ready to retire?”
“It’s fine” you say with a smile, but as always, she can see through the bullshit.
“You look miserable. So, you’re either in a lot of pain or there’s something else”
“I just… feel bad that I don’t know how to rest. You know? I’m a workaholic, and Wanda knows it, but it used to be nice to get breaks and spend time with her and the kids. And now, I should just be relaxing and enjoying this time off but I’m so restless. And I wonder if I’m good for them. If I’ll enjoy going on holidays and spending a few days without work or I’ll promise to be there for something and then let work get in the way”
“Ok, first of all. Every surgeon is a workaholic, you know it. This was the only way we could survive and get as far as we did. But you’re acting as if you’re on an indefinite break. Your CT looks fine. In a week you’ll be back”
“Right. It was just so unexpected…”
“You’ve been working less, haven’t you? Spending more time with Wanda and her kids. That’s a major change. So don’t worry about still loving your job and wanting to do it. It’s who you are. And if Wanda loves you she’ll understand”
"Well, good thing she seems to be done having kids, too” you scratch your neck, thinking about last night’s conversation.
“I thought you wanted kids” your friend frowns.
“I never made up my mind… but if she says she’s done, it’s done”
“Interesting…” Darcy holds her chin, examining you. “I do remember you having baby fever when you did your Peeds rounds”
“Ages ago” you insist, smiling. You were good and you almost decided to focus in that area. But Trauma was always where your passion was.
Darcy’s pager beeps and you look at her with some jealousy, wishing you had somewhere to be.
“Gotta go. Danvers should be done soon. Chill, watch some tv, you’ll be back in no time”
“Thanks, mate. And I know, I’ll ask Wanda for some cookies”
You look around the cafeteria, and then wander the hallways. There are a few people in the ER, sitting and waiting for someone to call their names. Without knowing a thing about Darcy’s system, you pick up a file and say a name out loud.
The little guilt you feel at working when you’re clearly not supposed to is quickly forgotten as you help several people, looking at their X-Rays and writing prescriptions, the armsling tossed away.
That is, until you hear someone calling you across the room.
“Y/N Y/L/N” Wanda hisses. “What do you think you’re doing?”
You squeal, hiding behind a curtain. She pulls it and grabs the file from your hands.
“Did Doctor Danvers see you yet?
“She was in surgery and I was bored!” you complain like a little child.
“We’re finding her and then going home”
Doing all but pulling you by the ear, Wanda drags you around the front desk and asks for Carol, the nurses hiding a smile as you remain in the background, silent.
They tell Wanda that Carol will be in a few minutes, and you wait in one of the examination rooms, you sitting in the bed dangling your feet while Wanda answers an email from Laura.
“How did the meeting go?” you try to make ammends.
“Fine”
“Mmm” you nod, thinking it might be better to drop it.
It only gets worse when Carol walks in, thinking you’re the only one in the room.
“How’s it going, Princess?”
Wanda clears her throat, glaring at the blonde and you want to crawl in a hole and die. Not this again.
“Hey, Wanda. Didn’t see you there” she starts speaking in a rush. “What’s the matter? CT looks fine. Except for that horrible surgery they did on you”
“It was twenty years ago, Danvers” you roll your eyes, avoiding Wanda’s inquisitive stare.
“Ok, take your shirt off. O-or not, don’t” she says when Wanda glares.
“Make up your damn mind” you complain, oblivious to everything.
Wanda stands up, looking you in the eye. She smiles, taking your shirt in her hands and pulling it up. Might as well fucked you right then and there, with the way she looks at you.
Maybe it’s not so bad that she’s jealous of Carol.
“There” she says, and all you can do is focus on her lips. She stands back, sitting on the couch and waiting for Carol to examine you.
“The pain has been recurring, right? What changed?”
“It’s more persistent and intense”
“Have you been taking painkillers? Anything else?”
“Nothing, Doc”
Carol sighs.
“We really are the worst patients” she grumbles. “You have nerve damage, we knew that already. The armsling might be making it worse. Use this instead”
She passes a brace that supports your shoulder and allows you to move freely.
“Wooho, this one is way cooler!”
“Wanda, can you make sure she takes these meds? It will help with the swelling” Carol turns to you. “If you rest properly, you can go back to work in ten days”
“Ten days? I want a second opinion”
“A second opinion would be to try surgery and fix that nerve” she says, knowing Stark would agree.
“Fine. Meds and rest” you grumble, putting on the brace.
“One last thing” Carol says and you’re about to ask what is it when she blind sides you, inyecting something on your muscle.
“That’s low even for you” you complain, feeling the burn.
“That will relax you for a few hours, pal”
“Mmm. Thanks, Carol”
“Anytime. Bye, Wanda”
Your girlfriend thanks her, taking your hand and walking you to the exit, hoping you’ll finally get some rest.
“Who did this?” Darcy fumes from the ER and you rush, dragging Wanda.
“Run, now”
For the second time in the day, someone calls you by your full name, this time sounding less forgiving.
“You messed up the system!” Darcy says, watching you run like a coward. “You’re dead to me”
Wanda laughs at that, and you smile, hoping her mood has improved ever since she caught you working.
“Want anything special for lunch?” Wanda asks as she drives back home and you can’t really think of anything.
“Cuddles and a nap with my beautiful girlfriend” you say, feeling the medicine relaxing you. “Damn it, Carol probably gave me a horse tranquilizer”
“That’s what you get for being so stubborn”
“I am not stubborn” you insist, proving her point.
By the time you’re home, your feet feel heavy. Wanda almost has to carry you to the bedroom, where you plop down.
You feel her taking off your shoes and you honestly try to sit up and help, but Carol really outdid herself with whatever it is she gave you.
Lucky she’s a doctor and not a dealer.
“Wands” you mutter.
“Shh, I’m here. Get some rest”
—
Your mouth feels dry, limbs heavy. Like a hangover, but without the fun part.
“M’gonna kill Carol” you sigh, rubbing your eyes. Wanda’s laugh by your side makes you turn and you smile. “Hey, gorgeous”
“Feeling relaxed?”
“Very. I’m just thirsty”
As if she was a mind reader, Wanda nods towards the nighstand next to your side of the bed, where a glass of water is waiting for you.
“You’re so perfect” you say once you gulp it down, breathing and stretching. “Where are the kids?”
“Soccer practice.”
“Oh, sorry about falling asleep. We could have been watching a movie or something” you try to sit up, but Wanda pulls you down, scooting closer to you.
“I just want you to rest”
“I’m not gonna break if I do other stuff”
She doesn’t answer and you lie down, looking at her.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry” is all she says and you frown. “For everything that happened with Steve”
“You already apologized. It’s in the past”
“I just want to give you everything, and take care of you. I wish I knew how to make you feel better when you’re in pain”
“You’ve been cooking and helping me do everything for the past week, love”
“Anyone could do that”
“No, you’re the only person who could make it all better by just being here” you say, your hand moving the hair out of her eyes. “I’m damn lucky to have you on my side, Wands”
“I… can I ask about the accident? I feel like I know bits and pieces. Though if it’s too painful”
“I was with my Dad” you say, sighing. “Someone else ran a red light and crashed into us. He didn’t make it. It’s just… there’s no point in dwelling on it. It happened, and no amount of grieving can change it. So I don’t”
“Ok”
“I’m not the best person to be with” you admit. “I’m very much addicted to my job, I don’t have a family that is worth talking about. It’s just me, and whatever happens that day in the ER. Maybe that’s why I struggle with being away from the job. There’s nothing else besides that”
“It’s not just you, not anymore. You have us” Wanda promises, kissing your hand. You smile, nodding.
“I know. I love you”
“Love you too.”
—
You finally found some things to do. Wanda would give you drafts to read, surprised at how good your literary insights were.
“Laura might have competition” she joked once.
As for other forms of entertainment, you were currently picking up on your Project Runway obsession even though you were just rewatching season 8, arguably one of the most dramatic ones.
The arm was a lot better and the pain subsided, which was great news. On the other hand, Carol would never shut up about being the best Ortho surgeon in the whole country.
Still, there was one thing you were hoping to do, taking advantage of all the hours you had alone with Wanda.
Thinking it would be better to just catch her off guard, you were in bed, reading another one of her drafts when she came by the room, stretchig her back.
“Tired, my love?” you say with a sympathetic smile.
“A tiny bit. I was thinking we could get pizza tonight? I’m not in the mood for cooking”
“I’m paying for it”
“You’re paying for groceries and everything else these days” she protests.
“What can I tell you? I like to spoil my girl”
Wanda blushes at that, straddling your lap and leanig down to kiss you. You smile, eager to feel her lips on yours, but also, anticipating her reaction as she feels what’s hidden in your pants.
The way she gasps against your mouth sends a shiver down your spine.
“What are you…?”
Your good arm wraps around her waist, making her rub against the strap on.
“A surprise for you” you say, your nose against her neck, leaving open mouthed kisses. “Unless you don’t want to try it. We can just forget about it”
“No, I- but your arm”
“Well, you could be a good girl and ride my dick” you half joke, not expecting the words to have such an impact on her. Before you can react, she’s reaching down between your bodies.
“I wanna see you” she asks, out of breath. You let her pull your pants down, revealing the harness briefs you’re wearing and the plastic cock attached to them.
“What do you think?” you say, one of your thumbs traveling to her mouth, and she eagerly accepts the intrusion, sucking on your finger. She bites it as you pull out, pupils dilated.
Operating on her desires, Wanda moves down your body, until she’s eye level with the strap. Even though you can’t feel it, the sight of her tongue darting out to lick the tip makes your hips buck, pushing inside without a warning.
But she’s a good girl, and takes it all with enthusiasm, her hands on your hips as you fuck her mouth. The friction against your clit makes your breath quicken, and aware that Wanda’s gagging, you stop moving, pulling her away by the hair.
“Show me how good you can take it, baby” you say, smiling. Wanda doesn’t waste any time, discarding her own pants and placing both hands on the side of your face.
You move your hips up a couple of times, teasing her entrance, until you pull her hips down, and you have to look down, admiring the way her hole swallows every inch, Wanda’s face contorted by pleasure.
Once you bottom out, you give her a few seconds to adjust, and only move when she rocks forward, moaning at the way it feels to be so full.
“Look at you, made to take my cock. Fits so fucking perfectly inside that tight cunt” you taunt, squeezing her neck.
Wanda clenches as you choke her, overwhelmed by all the pleasure she’s feeling.
“Come on, fuck yourself on my dick” you challenge, and she begins moving, slow at first, and then faster, her hips finding a rhytm as you let go of her neck, hand going down to pinch her nipples.
The touch catches her off guard, and she somehow changes positions in your lap, the strap going deeper and hitting just the right spot.
“Oh, God…” she mutters, losing herself in the feeling of being full, riding you as your hands roam around every inch of her beautiful body. “I’m close, please”
“Please, what?”
“Please, make me come” she stutters, her hips moving erratically as she approaches her climax. You let your hand travel down, and as you play with Wanda’s clit, the woman lets out a moan, juices spilling down her legs and between your bodies.
Wanda collapses on top of you, breathing heavily. You wait until she calms down to pull out, trying to do it without hurting her.
“Stay inside” she pleads, and the desperation in her words makes you want to fuck her again.
“You did so good, baby” you smile against her temple. “Just relax, I got you”
—-
You had created a horny, hot, insatiable being.
Whenever you were alone in the house, you were usually packing because Wanda would just barge into the room, kiss you like she was running out of time, and then would just push her underwear aside, moaning and panting until she was satisfied. She went at it two or three times each day, even at night though you had to be quiet to not wake up the twins.
How you loved being used for her pleasure, and watch as she was all disheveled when she came, breathing against your neck and repeating how much she loved you and how much she needed you.
Once, you are almost caught by Agatha. This time, you initiate it, approaching Wanda as she makes lunch in the kitchen. Your arm snakes around her middle, hand going up and down until you pinch her nipple through the fabric of her t-shirt. When Wanda arches her back, her ass rubs against the strap, and she moans, allowing you to take her from behind.
“Look at you, taking me so fucking well” you say, spanking her. She moans against her arm, enjoying the new angle and the way your hands grab handfuls of her ass, the soft flesh turning red.
 In that precise moment, there’s a knock at the door. You turn at the same time, and while Wanda seems to be trying to gather her thoughts, you keep pushing inside of her.
“Wanda, are you home?” Agatha says.
“Go on, answer her. Tell her you’re getting fucked from behind, baby” you taunt, determined to make her come.
“If she sees us…”
“Better hurry then” you mutter, hips moving faster until you feel Wanda’s legs shake, hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming.
You pull out, and force Wanda on her knees. She can’t stand up, as Agatha looks through the window, waving at you. The lower half of your body is hidden by the countertop.
“Do you have any eggs I can borrow?”
“We’re out of those” you lie, moving your hips forward until Wanda gets the hint and licks the strap clean. “I’m going to the store later today, I’ll get some extra for you”
“You’re such a dear. Is Wanda working?”
“Oh, yes. She’s hard at work” you say, smiling.
“If you ever feel lonely, come by and visit me, dear” the woman winks, turning to leave. You keep Wanda in place, fucking her mouth until the pressure on your clit makes you get some release.
“I’m not done with you” you say, pulling her up. “It’s a damn shame you couldn’t be as loud as you wanted before”
Wanda looks confused, or maybe it’s the orgasm she just had. Either way, you guide her upstairs, and she quickly gets on all fours, ass up in the air again.
“Better be screaming my name when I’m done with you”
Of course she did. And you’re pretty sure those screams could be heard all the way to Agatha’s house.
—
“I’m gonna be late for work” you say, not really caring. Wanda’s on your lap, grinding against you. There’s nothing under your scrubs today, because, well, it would be awkward to work while packing all day.
Who knew you’d end up wanting more free time, and all because Wanda can’t go five minutes without getting fucked.
“I’m gonna miss you” she whines, biting down on your earlobe and you moan.
“Baby, you’re not playing fair”
Maybe calling in sick won’t be such a bad idea. Your colleagues will understand. It’s not like they’ve been covering for you for two weeks.
Right.
“I have to go” you sigh against her lips, searching her eyes. You hope she can understand.
“I know, I’m sorry”
Wanda smiles and the way she runs her hands down your cheeks melts your heart.
“I love you. Thank you for helping me heal these past weeks. And I’m sorry for being so difficult at times, my love. I’ll make it up to you”
“I love you too” she smiles, leaning her forehead against yours.
With that, you get ready to drive to the hospital. You’re still wearing the brace Carol gave you, more as a precaution. Wanda also gives you a whole batch of cookies and you suspect Darcy will steal most of it.
You say goodbye at the front door, promising to call her when you have time.
“Welcome back, doctor Y/L/N”
Kate Bishop is the first to greet you, waiting in the ER.
“Thank you, Kate. Did I miss anything big these past few days?”
While you go over some files, she makes the rounds on patients that have been here for the past days and are getting discharged soon.
You go back to the ER to review paperwork and she sticks around, which seems weird.
“Shouldn’t you be around the halls to see if you can scrub in on something?”
“Uh…”
“Look, if they told you to babysit me, don’t worry about it. I can handle this alone”
“That’s not… remember how I hadn’t made up my mind about a specialty? Well, I did. I want to be a Trauma surgeon” she smiles, hoping you’re happy about it.
“Wow! Congrats, Bishop” you can’t help but bring her in for a hug. “Everyone else had their student, but me”
“Well, you have yours now. I can’t wait to learn, Sir. Ma’am. Doctor” Kate stumbles with her words and you pat her back.
That very second, two people walk in, screaming something about their Halloween decoration and a freak accident.
“Let the lessons begin, kid”
And so, you spend the better part of the shift stabilizing a patient and working with Stark to stop a brain bleeding from a falling pumpkin.
“It’s that time of year again” he says, and you sigh.
“What is?” Peter looks around the table.
“You wouldn’t believe the amount of freak accidents when holidays are around” Stark says. “Well, Dr. Y/L/N knows better than me, she’s the one treating everything”
“Cuts while carving pumpkins, blazing Jack-O-Lanterns, food allergies for kids”
“Tripping with their too long ghost costumes” Stark adds. “Learn that the hard way with Morgan”
“Gotta warn Wanda about that” you grimace.
“Ah, yes, the missus” Stark says, and you can’t see a lot of his face but you can tell by his tone that he is ready to tease you.
“Careful, Doctor Stark”
“I’m just saying, everyone thinks it’s cute. Morgan loves her and their art lessons too. Plus, it’s nice to see a doctor dating someone outside of the hospital. I’m so done with all the hook ups, it’s nearly impossible to find an on call room to rest”
“You own the hospital, can’t you do something about the rooms?”
“Not without causing a meltdown for HR” he says and you both chuckle.
“It is nice to be with someone who thinks you’re crazy for wanting to be working for two straight days. Gives you perspective”
“Precisely” Stark agrees. “Well, Peter can close him up”
“Meet you back at the ER, doctor Bishop”
You nod, going to the scrub room to wash your hands.
“Carol told me about your little nerve thing”
“Of course she did”
“There’s a great chance for the procedure to work, it’s also non invasive. Recovery time is…”
“I’ll think about it. But it hasn’t been bothering me anymore. Maybe it was just the shoulder injury”
“Yeah, maybe. But you know how it is. Wouldn’t you want to be completely sure you’ll be fine holding your baby one day?”
“Wanda is done having kids so that’s not a particular concern of mine” you say in an even tone.
“Really? With the way she looks at you, it almost seems like she wants you to knock her up”
“Tony” you elbow him, and he cackles.
“Just saying. Your kids would be cute”
“Are you having baby fever and trying to drag me with you?” you raise an eyebrow.
“Maybe” he winks as you leave the scrub room.
Still, the conversation leaves you thinking about Wanda and as soon as you’re out of the OR you call her.
“You’re on speaker, my love” she says, making you smile.
You can hear Billy and Tommy rushing to her side, speaking over each other.
“Woah, woah, one at a time”
“I got an A in my Science paper!”
“I scored a goal in practice”
“Way to go, kiddos. Can’t wait to hear all about it”
“We miss you” Tommy says, which makes you strangely emotional.
You never had someone say that to you.
“Miss you too” you admit.
“Go wash your hands, say bye to Y/N” Wanda waits a little and then talks to you again. “You’re still on speaker because I’m finishing dinner”
“No dirty talk, got it” you chuckle.
“How’s the day so far?”
“Oh, we had a freak accident with Halloween decoration which reminds me, don’t put anything until I’m there to help?”
“Ok, I won’t” she agrees.
“And Kate, you remember her? She’s a resident and today she told me she wants to be a Trauma surgeon so I guess I am officially her teacher”
“Congratulations, she got the best one”
“Yeah, it’s just a lot of responsibility, I guess” you chew on your lip, thinking about everything you’ll have to teach her. It’s not just the medical side, it’s about handling the stress and the pressure of helping people in the worst situations.
“I’m sure you’ll do great” Wanda says, knowing your sudden silence means you are overthinking. “Is the shoulder ok? Promise me you’ll eat something and get some rest”
Your pager interrupts the moment and Wanda groans.
“I’m afraid I can’t keep that promise, love of my life. Will talk to you later”
“Love you”
“Love you too”
Kate meets you in the ER and you’re suddenly dealing with a car accident and four patients, two of them children.
“Page Maria and Carol, this is gonna be a long night”
“And my shift is just starting” Darcy says behind you and you turn, excited to see your best friend.
“Missed me?”
“Not a bit”
But you know she’s full of it. You scrub in together, and she updates you on all the gossip you missed, using codenames no one else knows about.
“Did you hear Doctor Bishop is my new apprentice?” you say when you let her close the patient.
“Congrats, you finally got a minion”
“Wanna get one for you?”
“Ugh, no, you gotta water them twice a week and it’s too much trouble. I’m fine just being an attending” she rolls her eyes.
You’re about to go on a lecture about the importance of teaching and mentoring when Kate curses, and the patient begins to crash.
“Move” you say, stepping in to check what’s wrong.
“See?” Darcy says.
Though Kate didn’t do anything wrong, you ended up an hour more in the OR to make sure everything was ok.
When you’re done it’s close to dawn and you’re exhausted. Darcy finds an empty room and you plop down in one of the beds, sighing. It’s too early to call Wanda. You remove the brace to rest your shoulder.
“Do you think people ever considered we were hooking up?” you ask your friend, remembering the conversation with Stark. It’s just a funny thought, but Darcy let’s out a groan.
“Ugh, I hope not”
“Excuse me?” you sit up. “It sounds like you’re offended by the idea”
“You’re just not my type”
“So hot and successful is not your type?”
“You’re too tall!” she shouts.
“You’re too small!” you say, turning around so she only sees your back. “Garden gnome”
“Big foot” she whispers and you both laugh.
—
“Wanda, baby” you moan, kissing the… pillow?
Your pager wakes you up, and you look around the room, confused.
“I’m trying to sleep” Darcy complains.
“So was I” you say, checking your phone. It’s nothing related to the ER, so you go to the room where you’re called to.
“How can I help...” you walk into the room, and are surprised to see Wanda sitting in the bed. “Baby, hey! Wait, are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?”
“I’m fine” she says, appreciating your concern. Still, you check every inch of her body, hands holding her face gently. “I drove Agatha here”
“Why?” you frown.
“She cut herself while carving out a pumpkin”
“Halloween is always like this. I hate it” you mumble, and Wanda laughs.
“Don’t be such a party pooper. What’s wrong with dressing up and getting candy?”
“Trust me, spend a night in the ER with people who thought it would be a good idea to bring a real chainsaw to a party and you’ll agree with me”
“Well, I’ll have to change your mind about it” Wanda bites her lip, pulling you closer. “Maybe wear something real nice to cheer you up”
“I’m listening” you say, moaning against her mouth when she finally closes the distance. God, you forgot how good it feels to have her in your arms. “I should go check on Agatha”
“Your little student is taking care of her. Plus, I have a few symptoms of my own I’d like to ask about”
“Ok, what is it?”
“I have heart palpitations… and something like a flutter in my stomach. It’s hard to focus sometimes, too”
“When does this happen?” you play along, smiling as Wanda pulls you in between her legs.
“When I'm thinking about my girlfriend fucking me real hard”
“Babe” you sigh against her lips.
“Nu-uh. You’re working” she smiles, happy to see you so worked up.
“Mean”
Wanda laughs against your temple, her hands running up and down your arms.
“When does your shift end?”
“Tomorrow morning. Which would give me enough time to get ready for Laura’s party”
“You remembered” Wanda says, shocked.
“Well, yeah”
“I told you a month ago”
“And I wrote it down so I didn’t forget. You told me it was important for me to be there” you smile, unaware of the impact a little gesture like that could have in Wanda.
“I changed my mind, I need you to fuck me here”
You open and close your mouth a few times, looking at the door and then at Wanda. Yeah, you’d be crazy to let that chance slip.
Undoing the butto of her jeans, your hand moves as much as possible in the confined space, rubbing her clit through her underwear until Wanda is panting against your ear.
The woman finishes with a groan that you muffle with your lips, worried someone might come in.
Still, when you both leave the room, a bit disheveled and blushing, Stark glares and you wink.
“At least it’s not an on call room, Tony”
Wanda follows you to the ER, where Kate is finishing with Agatha’s stitches.
“Took your sweet time, Wanda” Agatha says, and you try to hide your smile.
“Sorry, that was my fault. But I’m here now and I’ll make sure everything is fine. Nice work, Doctor Bishop. Mrs. Harkness is a vital member of our community”
“Oh, darling, aren’t you a dear?” Agatha laughs, patting your arm. “Careful, Wanda, I might steal her from you”
You’re pretty sure Wanda’s response is not gonna be a nice one, but then you’re interrupted by the forensic that works at the morgue.
“Yo, Y/L/N. Can I get your name here?” Rio asks, her tone even and deadpan expression making her look bored, as usual.
“Sure, Death. There ya go”
Rio looks at Agatha for a second too long and then smiles to herself.
“I love to play with knives too” the brunette says, winking at your neighbour.
Wanda and you share a look, as if you’re wondering if Rio is the answer to all your problems.
“Who was that?” Agatha says, enthranced.
“Rio Vidal. We call her Death because she’s at the morgue, doing autopsies. Seems like she likes you”
“Could I… can you give her my phone number?”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll go straight to the morgue and make sure she has it, Agatha” you promise.
Once Kate finishes with closing the wound, Agatha tells Wanda they better go, so you’re free to find Rio.
“See you in 24 hours, my beautiful girlfriend” you promise, kissing Wanda.
“Lovebirds, wrap it up. Vámonos”
“Ugh” Wanda rolls her eyes. Maybe she liked Agatha better when she pretended to be nice to you to upset her.
“Smile, darling. Let’s hope Rio keeps her busy for the next few weeks”
“Or centuries” Wanda jokes and you laugh, kissing her softly.
—
A 48 hour shift when you just got back to work was not your best idea. As you park in your driveway, you text Wanda to let her know you’ll shower and rest a bit before you leave at noon.
You almost fall asleep standing in the shower, but snap out of it and clean yourself up so you can get a nap.
Once you wake up, it’s a little before noon so you get some time to change into pants, a t-shirt and sneakers.
“Well, hello there” you admire Wanda’s figure in a sundress. “Am I underdressed?”
“It’s a barbecue, baby, you’re fine” she smiles, pulling you inside and cornering you against the door. “Missed you”
“Missed you too” you sigh against her lips.
“Mom, have you seen my shoes?” Tommy says from upstairs and you laugh.
It takes the twins a couple more minutes to get ready, but once they go down and see you, they’re both buzzing with excitement.
The whole car ride is spent asking them questions about their day. As soon as you park, though, they are out the door, eager to greet Cooper and Lila.
You carry the pie Wanda made and put it on a table full of food.
“Wow, it’s kinda nice to live outside the city” you say admiring the entire property. Wanda had told you they lived in a farm, but you thought it was a figure of speech. “Maybe we need to get something like this, babe”
“Wanda, glad you could make it. You must be Y/N” a brunette approaches you, and you squeeze her hand.
“Nice you meet you, Laura”
“I hear you already know my husband”
“Yeah, we’ve had our share of work stuff” you nod, hand going to your shoulder.
As if on cue, Clint shows up holding a baby that is getting restless.
“Sweetheart, did you feed Nathaniel? Oh, hey Wanda. Y/N”
“I just fed him. Can you take care of him for a bit? I gotta make the mashed potatoes”
“Why don’t I…” you suggest when the baby starts crying. His eyes widen at the shift and then stares at you. Holding your breath, you expect him to begin hollering but he just laughs, curious about your hair. “There we go”
“Oh, wow. Wanda, you should have mentioned this sooner” Laura says, amazed at how Nathaniel seems to be so at ease with you.
“Come on, little prince. Let’s walk around the party for a bit. Say bye to Mom and Dad”
“I’ll catch you later, gotta help Laura for a bit” Wanda says, finding it hard to look away from you.
“Ok, darling” you say, balancing Nathaniel in your arms.
You walk around the Barton’s property, waving at the twins and their friends. Nathaniel bounces around in your arms, wanting to play with his siblings.
“What are you up to, kiddos?”
“We’re gonna play hide and seek. Wanna join us?” Billy says.
“Gotta look out for Nathaniel, but enjoy”
Across the field, some of Clint’s friends are playing soccer. Nathaniel seems interested in the ball, so you stand on the edge and let him follow it with his eyes. At one point, one of the guys throws it your way by accident and you’re able to stop it with your foot, without dropping Nathaniel.
There’s a chorus of whistles and one of the man approaches.
“Hey, you must be the cutest babysitter I’ve seen”
“I’m a guest of Clint and Laura” you say, ignoring his advances. “And you are a hazard to babies. Goodbye”
Wanda is following your every move from the kitchen, and she’s reluctant to admit that the image of you holding a baby so confidently is doing things to her.
“There are kids present” Laura teases and she laughs.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Can’t say that I blame you. She looks good with a baby”
“Yeah, but… I don’t know, we talked about it and she seemed to be indifferent to the idea. Or maybe it was because I tried to brush it off” Wanda sighs, cutting up more fruit. Truth is, she did wonder what it would be like, to have a partner that was with her every step of the way.
She loved her boys, but she had done everything on her own. Sometimes Pietro and her parents would help, but she didn’t have a spouse that would be her companion in every sense of the word.
“Well, I don’t think she’s completely convinced about it either” Laura points your way, and you’re making Nathaniel giggle with silly faces.
“Diaper change” you announce a moment later; walking to the living room. “I can do it”
“Thanks, you’re a sweetheart” Laura says, pointing at the diapers and wipes. Wanda takes a break from the cooking, to check if you need any help.
To her surprise, you’re changing the diaper expertly. In one swift motion, it’s all done and cleaned. Your girlfriend joins in, talking to Nathaniel while her hand runs up and down your back.
“We’re missing a player, wanna join us?” Clint calls from the door. Wanda takes Nathaniel from your arms, and you kiss her cheek.
When you walk to the field, the same man that spoke to you before approaches.
“Hey, we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Sam Wilson” you arch an eyebrow, staying silent. “Come on, can I at least get your name?”
“I’m Y/N”
“Ok, Y/N. Why don’t we make it interesting? If I score a goal, I can ask you something about yourself”
“Well, what do I get if I score?” you say, smiling.
“Whatever you want, gorgeous”
You look around the field, spotting Lila playing with some nail polish.
“Lila gets to do your nails”
“Alright. Let’s go”
It’s funny, how Sam and his team think they have to go easy on you. It takes them two goals to catch up and realise they’re not letting you win.
You’re making them lose big time.
Throwing some turns and dribbles, you make Sam lose his footing, jumping over him to kick the ball one last time and score another goal.
“That’s three versus zero, Sam” you pat his back.
“One last shot” he says. You roll your eyes, too tired to argue with him. This time, you run around with the ball but do a simple kick that he can intercept.
“Yes. Goal!” he stops mid dance to turn to you. “My question is, do you have a boyfriend?”
“Nope” you answer, smiling as you can see Wanda approaching you. She walks past Sam, jumping into your arms and putting her legs around your waist. She kisses you, groaning against your mouth when you bite her bottom lip.
“She does, however, have a girlfriend” Wanda says, getting down. “Food’s ready”
“I’m starving” you say, letting Wanda pull you to the table, leaving Sam behind, confused and exhausted.
—
It was a wonderful party. There was plenty of food, playing and cleaning to do. In the end, the twins wanted to stay over to play with the Barton children.
Laura said it would be no trouble, and you voluntereed to pick them all up the next day to go to the movies or anything else.
“Had the best time today” you say, stretching in Wanda’s bed. She stays silent for a second and you sit up. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah, I’m just…” she interrupts her beauty routine to turn and look at you. “Would it be a mistake to tell you that maybe, I still want to have another baby?”
“Am I that irresistible holding a toddler?” you wiggle your eyebrows and Wanda let’s out a laugh, relieved that you’re not freaked out by what she just said. You stand up, kneeling in front of her. “I think having a little baby girl that looks like you would be the best thing ever. I also know having a kid involves a lot of changes and planning. But I can’t think of anyone better to do it with”
“So… why don’t we just leave that door open?” Wanda says, looking at her lap where your hands are clasped together. “For now”
“Yes, my love” you nod, kissing the tip of her nose. You’re about to stand up when she pulls you down by your shirt, this time in a rougher kiss.
“I got us something” she says, breathing heavily.
“Oh?”
���We don’t have to use it if you don’t want to”
“Now I really need to know what it is, Wanda” you say, the exhaustion of the past days leaving your body at the idea of having sex with your girlfriend.
“Get in bed and close your eyes”
You nod, excitedly waiting for her to reveal what she got. You hear her drawer open and close, and your heart beats faster.
“Ok” she says, and as you open your eyes you don’t notice anything different, until you look at her hand.
“Oh” you pick up the strap, arching an eyebrow.
“It’s a…”
“I know what it is” you say with a smile, checking that it is indeed hollow. Out of curiosity, you squeeze it and a stream of lube shoots out of the tip. “Shit. Sorry, love. I’ll last longer next time”
“You’re an idiot” she laughs, hiding her face in her hands.
“So, wanna try it?”
“I do, yeah… uh, it’s a fantasy of mine to feel you, as if, finishing inside. I mean, I know it’s just something different but… yeah” she turns red, looking between you and the strap.
“No need to feel ashamed, my darling. I like to be tied up, if you want us to share some kinks”
“That would be amazing” she says, a little out of breath. “But if we do all of that, I might not survive, so, just one thing at a time?”
“Of course” you smile, placing the strap on the nighstand. “Come here”
You let Wanda sit on your lap, and you begin to kiss her, taking your time and alternating between running your tongue down her lip and letting it explore the inside of her mouth.
“This toy is a bit bigger than what we’ve used before, so why don’t I… get you nice and ready, huh?” you whisper hotly, pulling her underwear to the side. Without waiting for an answer, you collect Wanda’s juices in your fingers, prodding at her entrance and stretching her. When you bring a finger to your mouth and suck, Wanda’s mouth opens, hypnotized by your movement. “Lie on your back and get that dress off. I wanna taste that pussy”
She doesn’t need to be told twice, and you watch with a smile as she discards the dress, waiting in her matching lace set.
“What a good girl” you purr, crawling until you’re close to her center. You kiss the inside of her thighs, and then pull down her panties, slick coating the fabric.
Wanda arches her back when she feels your mouth on her cunt, holding your head in place. You let her dig her nails in your scalp, moving against your face until you have her arousal on your chin and lips.
“Feeling ready to take my cock?” you say, standing up to take off your clothes. Wanda is so worked up that she barely listens to you, watching as you adjust the strap around your hips.
Before you can get back to bed, Wanda leans forward, licking the shaft.
“Fuck” you say, admiring how the cock disappears inside her mouth, and she looks so pleased licking it that you’re tempted to squeeze and have the lube run down her throat.
Maybe later, you decide when she breaks apart, gasping for air.
“I’m not waiting any longer to be buried inside you” you say, pushing her so she’s on her back again. “Ready?”
“Please, just fuck me already” she says, canting her hips up.
“So desperate. And all just so you can have my cum inside you, is that right?” you taunt, letting the tip in and watching for any sign of discomfort.
Wanda bites her lip and the way she looks at you makes your hips jerk, introducing more of the toy. The woman moans, her nails digging in your sides.
“That’s it” she sighs, while you move in and out, starting a slow and steady ryhtm. You lift her legs and put them over your shoulders, going deeper and hitting that perfect spot that makes her see stars.
“Harder, I want you to fuck me so hard”
“How hard, huh?” your hand goes to her neck and you squeeze. Wanda moans your name, enjoying the pressure. “Want me to come inside you?”
“Yes, please fill me up”
“So pretty when you beg” you mutter, pounding harder and letting the hand that was chocking her travel to her nipples. You pinch one and then the other, enjoying Wanda’s sensitivity.
As you change your angle, Wanda’s legs squeeze you, pulling you closer. You thrust harder, erratically, knowing you’re close and so is she.
“Wanna get you nice and full”
“Fuck, yes” Wanda cries out, biting the spot between your shoulder and neck. “I’m gonna…”
As soon as she says those words, your hand travels between your bodies, squeezing the strap on so it can shoot the load inside of her.
Wanda lets out a loud moan at the feeling, pulling you until you can’t hold yourself up, collapsing on top of her.
For a few minutes, all that can be heard is your heavy breathing. Once you come to your senses, you move to the side. While Wanda is still trying to recover, you look down, clenching at the mess between your bodies.
“Give me a second and we can…” Wanda says, coming back to her senses. You smile, kissing her softly.
“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere”
Once her breathing evens out, she scoots closer, hiding in your arms.
“Was it good? We appreciate honest feedback here”
Wanda laughs, kissing your neck.
“It was so good I think I might be pregnant”
“Well” you say, rolling so Wanda’s on top now. “That will be one beautiful baby”
—
This has been the best night of your life. You’re usually quiet when having sex, because you never have the house to yourselves. After that, you cuddle and call it a night.
Not this night, though. You had been at it for a couple of hours when you got hungry, so now you’re having a midnight snack, Wanda wearing your shirt and you in the usual tank top.
“Food’s almost ready” Wanda says.
"While we wait, let's..." you trail off, playing some music.
I used to love like a lovesick puppy Loving on anyone who'd throw me a bone I didn't care if they weren't good for me 'Cause it was better than being alone
“What are you doing?” Wanda asks with a smile when you reach out for her hand.
“Can I have this dance?”
“I’m a terrible dancer” she warns you, but you shrug your shoulders.
“You’re not wearing heels right now, so we’re safe. Come on, I’ll lead”
Without waiting for her reply, your hands go around her waist. Wanda puts her arms over your shoulders, letting you sway her to the music.
Now I've grown up to be a pretty cool person Loving myself and I know my worth I think I'm ready to find my person 'Cause I won't accept less than I deserve
“I’m not looking for a girlfriend, I’m looking for a wife” you sing, making Wanda laugh.
“Is this you proposing?”
“What? Nu-uh. When I do it, it’s gonna be awesome. And unexpected. But mostly awesome”
“When you propose? You thought about it”
“I’m here for the long run, baby”
Wanda smiles, leaning against your chest, while you keep rocking gently to the music.
“I love you”
“Love you too, Wanda”
Ooweeoowee My emergency contact Want a love like that No sweat 'cause I know you've got my back Ooweeoowee My emergency contact Want a love like that, want a love like that
A/N: Song is Emergency Contact by Corook. Please listen to all her music.
Last year I told you all to listen to Chappell Roan and none of you did and LOOK WHERE WE ARE NOW
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joemama-2 ¡ 21 days ago
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the sound of you
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pairing: gojo x reader
synopsis: what happens when a man who uses intimacy to numb his pain collides with a woman who sees vulnerability as her greatest weakness? a storm of desire, denial, and shattered hearts. you never imagined someone like him—magnetic, self-assured, and emotionally closed off—would enter your life. worse, you never expected to crave him in return. but fate has a cruel way of stitching together souls that should never meet, dragging you both into a spiral of unspoken truths, unresolved wounds, and a connection that feels more like a curse than a blessing.
tags/warning: slowburn, angst, fluff, sexual content, mentions of trauma, depression, unhealthy coping mechanisms, blood, miscommunication, alcohol, drugs, opposites attract, manipulation, mentions of bullying, death, smut, insecurity galore, selective mutism, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, modern au
hello! so, i’m thinking that after i release chapter 7 of vl, ill try to get started on working out this piece. there’s 3 days left in the poll, but the sound of you seems to be winning by quite a lot. in this case, ill be starting the taglist for this series now so i can have that settled already :)
the first 50 people who respond (comment) to this post will be on the taglist. please make sure your settings allow other blogs to tag you first!!!
edit: TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!
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paulyenvol6 ¡ 4 months ago
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Byka Atroksia (Masterlist)
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This is the masterlist/moodboard/summary for my new series called "Byka Atroksia". It's a story between Daemon Targaryen x reader (Vhaela Targaryen)
First of all: This story is based on the HBO/Max TV show House of the Dragon and the works of George R R Martin. I don't own any of the characters.
This story should only be read by people over 18 years as it contains adult content.
You can find the following themes in this story: HIGHLY detailed smut, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), kissing, dirty talk, losing of virginity, gagging, p in v, unprotected sex, period sex, praising, degrading, edging, overstimulating, blindfolding, some non-con choking, possessiveness, body image issues, angst, mentions of period and pregnancy, incest, inappropriate relationship between uncle and niece, power imbalance, dom!Daemon, inexperienced reader, arranged marriage, toxic relationship, morally questionable behaviour, abusive behaviour, sexual abuse (not performed by Daemon!)
Disclaimer: I am aware that the dynamic of this relationship is problematic as Vhaela's inferiority complexes cause her to search for Daemon's attention. So please be careful while reading this and have in mind that this kind of relationship is neither healthy nor desirable. Daemon is a bad person. His actions are irresponsible and unethical and he manipulates Vhaela. Don't try at home please.
Disclaimer 2.0: The G Spot: In this story I mention the g spot (even though the characters obviously don't know this term for it and what exactly it is) as a way for women to receive pleasure. I know that the existance of it is controversial and it's not scientifically proven that something similar exists. However, I still decided to include it in my story so my main character is able to receive pleasure by vaginal sex, but be aware that a lot of women don't get pleasure plainly by vaginal sex. I just don't want to portray a false image of what sex is supposed to be like so I felt the need to write a short paragraph about it.
Summary: Vhaela Targaryen is the younger sister to Rhaenyra Targaryen and has all her life felt like she was competing with her sister for their interesting and dangerous uncle's attention. In Vhaela's mind her beautiful and confident sister has already won this fight but when Daemon Targaryen returns from a battle at the Stepstones things seem to be a little different and she explores a whole new world of emotions.
Smut is marked with *
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 * (very light smut) Chapter 3 * Chapter 4 Chapter 5 * Chapter 6 * Chapter 7 Chapter 8 * Chapter 9 Chapter 10 * Chapter 11 * Chapter 12 Chapter 13 * Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 * Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 * Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 * Chapter 26 (Final chapter)
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imaginespazzi ¡ 2 months ago
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Part 11: Free Fall
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Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 12
How many nights did you wish someone would stay? (Lie awake only hoping they're okay?)
(In which an angst writer makes her comeback in more ways than one)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff if you squint?
Words: 8.0K
TW: Swearing (that's probably it?)
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Y'all are the sweetest people ever for being so patient with me but it's finally here! I'm hoping that I don't put y'all through this again but it is almost finals season so...fingers crossed. While you read this chapter, I'd like y'all to keep in mind how much you love me and how much y'all wanted a new chapter and of course my favorite phrase: for the plot! I tried to edit but I hate reading my own work back and so it's not as thorough as it should be and there's probably typos so lemme know. As always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see next. Have a lovely week my angels!
May 2025 
It’s her first ever WNBA game -Dallas Wings vs Washington Mystics- and the first thing Paige notices as she steps onto the court is that the two courtside seats right by the Mystics bench are empty. The sound of music streaming through the speakers clashes against the raucous crowds; the lights are dimmed and there’s a riveting thrum of energy swirling the arena in anticipation for a generational talent’s professional debut. Paige has spent the days leading up to her first game immersed in basketball. Since training camps, she hasn’t let herself think of anything except how to make sure the ball went through the hoops, how to make sure the person in front of her didn’t score, how to win. 
It’s easier that way. Because then she doesn’t have to think about how empty and cold her bed feels at night, doesn’t have to think about how much she craves to press call on a number she knows she should have blocked, doesn’t have to think about how the pieces of her shattered world are barely bound together by a tape of pretend. Paige can’t think of any of that and so she’s spent every second awake, clearing her head of all potential distractions and focusing on preparing for this moment. 
Except, the moment is here now. 
And all Paige can fixate on is the empty courtside seats. 
The memories come back to her in waves; the two of them in those seats, pressed together -as close as it could be acceptable for their façade of best friends to be- as they weaved dreams of it being their turn on the professional stage. If she listens closely, Paige swears that amidst the chaos, she can still hear the echo of a promise that had once been made casually in conversation. 
“When you play here for the first time, I’ll be right here cheering you on. Every single time.”
Another broken promise. 
The truth is that the last few weeks as much as it’s felt like Paige is walking on a carpet of roses, there have been countless sharp thorns woven through the petals. She’s tried to avoid them -focusing on what she had, instead of what she’d lost- but they’d found a way to perforate through her skin anyways. And Paige knows she’s bleeding but she can’t scream, so she swallows the pain away instead. Memories of the past are piercing her feet and it feels like she’s leaving a trail of it feels incomplete without you behind her as she navigates the journey through her present, stepping towards a future that would be nothing like the one she’d imagined when she’d been a naive girl sitting in those courtside seats. 
The courtside seats that are empty tonight. 
Really it’s exactly what she should’ve expected. And there’s something so final about this moment, like the last flicker of a candle that had burned in secret. Paige hadn’t even realized she was still holding out for something but as she drags her eyes away from the seats and towards her father and brother who are practically vibrating with pride, she can feel the tautness of the string that she’d held onto. Because she hasn't told them; hasn’t told anybody about the breakup. 
Something about vocalizing it had felt just a little too real and Paige had evaded any potential situation that would warrant her having to reveal the tirth. But it hits her now, looking at those damn empty seats that should've been -in another life would’ve been- filled by her other family, that the words she’d been too scared to say out loud -for fear of them being enshrined into reality- had already probably been spoken into existence by someone else. And it hits Paige now, that maybe she’s desperately holding onto a rope that has already been let go of. 
“You good Bueckers?” she whirls around to find Arike looking at her, eyebrows raised in concern. 
“I’m fine,” Paige lies; she’s gotten so incredibly good at that, “just thinking a lot of thoughts.”
Arike nods in understanding, “fair enough. But you got this dude,” she reaches out a hand to squeeze her rookie’s shoulder, “whatever you’re thinking, when you get on that court, none of it’s gonna matter. All that matters for 40 minutes is the game and that we come out of it with a win. You gonna help us win Paige?”
“That’s the fucking plan,” Paige smirks, earning her a matching one from Arike before the shooting guard saunters onto the court, ready for tip-off.
All that matters is the game. 
Paige sucks in a deep breath, letting herself look over at the courtside seats one more time. This is her reality now. There’s no point in waiting for a regretful phone call or a surprise midnight knock on her door because it’s not going to happen. She feels a sense of hollowed acceptance as she finally turns away from the seats, plastering on a confident smile as she takes her place in the Dallas Wings starting five. And Paige is faced with the same truth that she’d learned at a far too young age; that people would leave her but the game never would. 
***
Dallas wins the game by 17 points. Paige’s statline is 21 points, 6 rebounds and 8 assists with 2 steals and a block. It’s a respectable statement from the rookie and her teammates are overjoyed. She’s surrounded by them as they celebrate winning their first game of the season and there’s a sense of hopeful excitement about how the rest of the season could go. Her eyes go over the top of them to find the cute Dallas local reporter that Paige had befriended shooting her a congratulatory wink and she blushes a little bit, looking away bashfully. In the distance, Paige can make out a small crowd of people decked in custom Wings #5 jersey, whistling in excitement. Despite the home fans, their celebration still echoes around the stadium and the loudest cheer comes from her brother who stands next to her father, both of them beaming with pride. And It’s almost enough to prevent her eyes from wandering back to the empty courtside seats. Almost. 
***
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. With the quick transition from the college season into the draft, Paige hadn’t had found time to go home inbetween. And so when the Wings had been making hotel arrangements for DC, she’d opted to stay with her dad and Drew in Maryland instead. But as she stands in the doorway to her bedroom, staring at a wall filled with pictures that are an ode to the past - collages that are practically a shrine to her broken relationship- Paige finds herself longing for the cold, unfeeling exterior of a foreign hotel room. 
Paige’s life can be split into two parts. There’s the Before Azzi and then there’s the With Azzi. And the truth is that there isn’t much from the Before Azzi left in Paige’s life. Every inch of her current life has been touched by the brunette, illuminated by her presence and now, it’s tainted by her absence. Especially in Maryland. Since she’d met the Virginia native, the DMV area had always been synonymous with the Fudds for Paige and she can’t remember a time when she’d been here -when she’d been in this bedroom- and not had plans to see them- to see Azzi. 
She takes a hesitant step inside, eyes gliding over each photograph and it’s like she’s being transported through time. The memories are as vivid as ever, bursting with color as they ellipse her mind. Paige can picture every moment like she’d lived it yesterday. She can still hear their laughter echoing through the air, can feel the softness of their hands -their bodies- brushing against each other, can still taste the lingering sweetness of their lips meeting halfway as they breathed silent promises against each other’s skin. 
A silent sob wracks through Paige’s body as she brushes her fingers over the most recent image of them from December -the last photograph she’d had time to print out. It’s one that Drew had taken of them in the kitchen- Paige propped up on the counter and Azzi in between her legs, one hand on the counter with the other resting right against Paige’s heart. Neither of them had even noticed the little boy, too wrapped up in each other; they were in their own world like they often had been. Azzi’s head is thrown back in laughter -probably at some ridiculous joke her girlfriend had cracked- and Paige has that goofy - just for Azzi- grin on her face as she gazes at the brunette with nothing but adoration. 
The picture is from barely six months ago but they look so young to Paige, so innocent, so naive, so fucking happy, so completely unaware that in a couple of months, one hesitantly spoken word would dissolve that happiness into a puddle of rubble. 
No. 
She thinks that one simple word is destined to echo through her ears, like that unpleasant screech of nails scratching against a chalkboard, for as long as she still has the ability to hear. Paige hadn’t even really heard it at first; it had been said so softly, so quietly, so brokenly and she’d barely seen Azzi’s lips move. For the briefest moment she’d tricked her mind into believing it was just the sound of the wind around them. But then there it was again. 
Louder. 
Stronger. 
No.
Paige’s hands instinctively clasp around her ears, fingers tangling tightly through her blond hair, because she can still fucking hear it. Here in this bedroom, where every corner still holds a little part of Azzi -holds a little part of them- the sting of rejection is louder than it’s been since it had first hit. Because it’s not just the pictures. It’s all the little pieces of them they’d left scattered over Christmas break, thinking they’d come back to it together.
 It’s a set of Azzi’s earrings -one Paige vaguely remembers picking out for her when they’d gone shopping a couple of weeks before- placed delicately on Paige’s dresser. It’s the pink sweater -that neither of them are sure who it originally belongs to but like most of their clothes, is basically a shared item at this point- haphazardly thrown over a chair. It’s that stupid book they’d started reading together -Paige lying across her girlfriend’s lap, toying with her curls as Azzi read the story out loud- still lying on the nightstand, waiting to be finished. 
Despite being alone in her room, Paige finds herself rapidly shaking her head. Because she can’t do this. Can’t spend a night in this room that had barely ever been just hers, had always felt more like theirs. She can’t sleep on that bed, no when her last memory of it is being tangled in the sheets with Azzi on a cold wintry morning, their legs intertwined with each other as they’d giggled to themselves in between languid lazy kisses. And maybe it’s pathetic of her but she can’t find it in herself to unmake the bed, not when her last memory of the two of them in this room is her leaning against the wall, shamelessly checking out her girlfriend as Azzi neatly made the bed, chiding Paige for the nth time on the importance of tidiness. 
“When are you gonna learn how to make your bed,” Azzi had sighed. 
Grinning, Paige had wrapped her arms around her girlfriend from behind, slotting her face into the crevice of Azzi’s neck and brushing her lips against the patch of skin, “I know how to make my bed. I just never have to because I’ll always have you to do it for me.”
Except for the last few weeks, Paige has had to make her own bed and she fucking hates it. 
Breathing sharply, Paige slowly backs out of her bedroom, gently pulling the door shut. She leans her forehead against the cool mahogany frame, trying to calm herself down. There’s been a nonstop dull ache in her chest since that night but tonight feels different, like the cold hands of the past have managed to dig under her ribcage and squeeze her heart  -something sharp digging into her arteries- so hard that it hurts just to exist. Paige gives herself a couple more seconds, creating half-moons as she digs her nails into her palms, before she finally pulls away from the door, heading towards her brother’s room down the hall. 
“You know you really should start knocking before you come into my room,” Drew says with a mock annoyance that’s betrayed by his large grin, as Paige slips into his room, “I’m almost a teenager.”
Despite the heaviness that’s still lingering between her lungs, Paige suddenly finds it a lot easier to breathe. Her little brother’s bedroom is dark, save for red LED lights and dim glow of the TV. Drew is reclined on his bed, gripping a white gaming controller between his hands. 
“You’re always gonna be a baby to me Drewski,” she teases, stepping towards him to ruffle his hair, laughing when he ducks her hand and shoots her an irritated glare in response. 
“Not the hair,” he whines and then groans as his eyes flicker back to the screen, towards the game he'd been playing, “damnit Paigey you just got me killed.”
“Hey hey hey, don’t blame me for your incompetence,” Paige chides. 
Drew rolls his eyes, before reaching over to hand over the other controller, “you wanna play?”
Paige shakes her head, gently pushing his hand away, “nah I just-” she chews at her bottom lip, shuffling her feet with uncharacteristic nervousness, “I was just uh- just wondering if I could stay in here tonight? We could have a sleepover? Like old times? Just you and me.”
It’s heartwarming the way her little bother’s eyes light up -like he’s still the little boy that used to fit perfectly in Paige’s arms, not almost a teenager who’ll eventually be taller than her- as he nods excitedly, scooching over to give his older sister space on his bed. Paige crawls gingerly onto the bed, hesitating for a second, before she lays her head on her brother’s lap, curling into herself. Drew is warm and inviting and familiar and for a second she almost forgets that serrated pain shooting through her nerves. But then it all comes rushing back and Paige has to swallow harshly to keep herself from giving into the fresh new set of tears that are re-emerging on her waterline. 
“Paigey,” Drew whispers softly as he runs his finger through her delicate blonde hair, clearly sensing something’s wrong, “are you okay?”
“I’m fine Drew,” she means to keep her voice strong but it comes out as broken as she feels. 
“Paigey,” the little boy’s voice is more worried now, “should I call Azzi?” 
This time the whimper escapes before Paige can stop it as she tightly closes her eyes. She knows her brother means well; knows that Drew doesn’t really remember Paige without Azzi- doesn’t remember a time before his sister knew how to heal without the brunette’s touch. He’d watched Paige celebrate all her victories with Azzi and he’d seen the same girl hold his sister in all her tragedies, putting her back together every time she broke with promises of you’ll have always have me. From the moment Drew was old enough to understand his sister’s feelings, he was also perceptive enough to understand that Azzi was always what she needed, no matter how she was feeling. And it’s still true, Paige thinks; she wants nothing more than to say yes, wants nothing more than for Drew to call Azzi, so Paige can tell her how much she fucking misses her- how much she fucking needs her. 
Perhaps it's pride or maybe it’s fear, but Paige doesn’t say what she wants. Instead she vigorously shakes her head in her brother’s lap, “n-no it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s late and Azzi’s busy-”
“Azzi’s never too busy for you,” Drew says indignantly, “I’m gonna call her.”
“Drew stop,” Paige’s voice is much firmer this time as she wraps a strong arm around her little brother’s knee, stopping him from moving, “we’re not calling Azzi.”
She could tell him now. After all, she’s going to have to when he inevitably asks why he hasn’t seen Azzi -why he hasn’t seen the girl who’s been a part of his life for more than half of it- in so long. But even though the words sit scratchily on the tip of her tongue, she still isn’t quite ready to spit them out; isn’t quite ready to confront reality. 
“Why not,” petulance coats Drew’s tone. 
“Because I’m fine and I don’t need- I don’t want to talk to her,” Paige lies. 
The little boy scoffs, “you always want to talk to her.”
He doesn’t know the way that simple sentence turns the cracked pieces of Paige’s heart into dust as she tightens her grips on his leg, “Drew please- please just let it go.”
“Why,” Drew argues stubbornly, “why can’t we call her.”
“We just-” Paige’s voice breaks, as she scrambles to wipe her tears before they can wet her little brother’s shirt, “we just can’t okay?”
And there must be something in her voice -the anguish that no amount of trying is able to hide- that Drew pieces together to understand that this isn’t a battle he can win, no matter how much he and Paige might both want him to. The young boy slowly droops his body back to its reclining position, his fingers returning back to Paige’s hair as he begins to stroke her head again. 
“It’s gonna be okay Paigey,” he whispers with all the hopeful innocence of a blissfully naive little boy, “everything gonna be okay.”
And god does Paige want to believe him. But the courtside seats were empty tonight. And she’s in the DMV with no plans to see the Fudds- to see Azzi. And she’ll never know the ending to that stupid book on her bedside table. 
She wants to believe Drew but Paige isn’t sure how anything’s ever going to be okay again. 
***
May 2033 
It should be a joyful moment -the three most important people in her life congregating together- but instead as Paige quietly observes the scene in her living room -Drew silently seething, Azzi fidgeting nervously with her thumbs and Stephie babbling away amidst it all- she feels suffocated by this heavy gray cloud of apprehension lingering above her head. If she’s honest with herself, she’s been on edge for a couple of days now, since training camp had begun to be precise. Since she’d moved to the Bay Area, everything else in Paige’s world had been eclipsed by Azzi and Stephie. The mother-daughter duo were all-consuming and if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been more than happy to let her thoughts -and her heart- be consumed by nothing but the two of them. 
It had been so easy to forget everything else and the tentative verbal three-way deal she technically had with the Valkyries and the Liberty had pretty much ceased to exist in her thoughts. That is until Angie Davis -the lynchpin in this agreement- had been selected, just as everyone had predicted, to the Valkyries. The Stanford PG had shown up to training camp with a shy smile and an eagerness to learn that all the rest of the vets on the team had warmly embraced. But all Paige saw in the girl was the ticking time bomb of a decision she’d forgotten she’d have to make. And it isn’t just the reminder of the decision that has Paige feeling at unease; it’s why she has to make this decision in the first place, the reason behind why she’d agreed to this deal in the first play, why she’d been so adamant for Talia to make sure she didn’t get stuck here. 
Eight years ago, Azzi Fudd had broken her heart and Paige has spent every moment since, trying to collect the shattered pieces and reassemble them. 
And the last thing Paige had wanted to do was give Azzi the hammer to smash her barely fixed heart again. 
That’s what it had felt like when Talia had first brought up the Valkyries offer. It wasn’t that she and Azzi hadn’t been in each other’s orbit the last couple of years -it was impossible not to- but since the breakup, they’d never been around each other long enough, never quite been in the right situations, for that opportunity to present itself again. But Paige had known that if she came to the Valkyries, it would be an inevitability. That belief had only been strengthened the day she’d visited the Bay Area. She’d been adamant from the second she’d gotten on the flight that she couldn’t be persuaded to join Golden State, no matter how much she respected the organization and how well she’d fit into their system; no matter how much she adored the city and its love for her favorite sport.
But then she’d met a little girl who had an identical smile to the one that had held her captive since she was fifteen and barely knew what love was. And if Stephie with her doe-eyed wisdom that Paige would look great in purple wasn’t enough, then there was Azzi. Paige had expected Azzi to tell her to decline the offer. In a way that’s what she wanted; the masochistic need to feel the sting of that rejection again so she wouldn’t be tempted to burn herself in the fire again. But the brunette had done the opposite and Paige had known by just how quick her resolve had succumbed, that she’d been right to fear the inevitability. And it was that fear that had prompted the verbal agreement with the Liberty; an escape plan she’d forgotten she’d devised. 
Because escaping had been the last thing on Paige’s mind the last few weeks. 
All of Paige’s fears and apprehension had seemed to take a backseat the moment Azzi had smiled -hesitant but real- and said she was ready to try, the moment Stephie’s tiny hands had fit perfectly into her own. 
But she can feel it all coming back now, bubbling to the surface and threatening to spill over like lava, wiping out this paradise she’s been in with Stephie and Azzi. It had started with the reminder of the Liberty deal but it’s Drew’s presence -his scowl directed at Azzi that feels like one of a brother still betrayed on his sister’s behalf- that had heightened it. Her little brother’s anger, and the genuine hurt that lingers behind it, feels like a dark reminder of Paige’s own heartbreak. 
Suddenly she feels like she’s 23, playing her first WNBA game and instead of celebrating a solid debut, she’s sobbing in her little brother’s lap over the girl who had walked away. 
“Miss Buecks,” Paige looks down to find Stephie crawling into her lap, “are we ready to order the pizza now?”
The little girl’s arms wrapping around her neck eases some of Paige’s discomfort as she smiles down at Stephie. 
“I’ve been ready for ages. You were the one yapping away,” she teases. 
Stephie pouts, “I don’t yap,” she turns her body towards Azzi, “Mama I don’t yap do I?”
Azzi’s own tense body seems to relax a little as she smirks at the two of them, “you definitely yap Stephie-”
“Mama,” Stephie protests, looking betrayed. 
“But not nearly as much as your Miss Buecks yaps,” Azzi’s eyes twinkle with mirth as Paige splutters, jaw dropping open with mock offense, “between the two of you, it’s a miracle my poor ears haven’t fallen off.”
“Just for that I’m not adding veggies to the pizza,” Paige sticks her tongue out, causing Stephie to giggle and Azzi to roll her eyes at the display of immaturity. 
Paige slips out her phone, pulling up their usual pizza place on doordash and quickly plugs in her memorized orders for everyone in the room as Stephie gets herself comfortable on the blonde’s lap. The five-year old leans her head back against Paige’s chest, who instinctively wraps her free hand around Stephie’s waist, keeping her securely in place. 
“So uncle Drew,” Stephie says with a grin, slightly leaning forward as she addresses the man sitting rigidly on the edge of the sofa, “did Miss Buecks yap a lot when she was younger too.”
“Be careful how you answer that,” Paige warns with a good natured glare in her brother’s direction, trying to lighten his mood. 
It works to an extent as a small smirk slips onto the edges of Drew’s lip, “oh she was a chronic yapper.”
“What does che-ronic mean?” Stephie asks, scrunching her nose in confusion.
Drew laughs, eyes glittering with mischief, “it means she didn’t know when to shut up.”
“Drew Thomas,” Paige guffaws, “you’re supposed to be my little brother, protecting your older sister’s honor and all of that.”
“Hey,” Drew raises his hand in surrender, “my older sister taught me to never lie, especially not to children.”
“Did you really talk that much?” Stephie asks, turning to Paige with wide eyes. 
“Don’t listen to him Stephie-bean,” the blonde says, brushing her hands through Stephie’s curls, “it’s all bullsh-”
“Paige,” Azzi hisses immediately as the older woman bites her lip to stop the curse word from escaping. 
“Bullsharks,” Paige amends, “fake news. False advertising. I was a calm and quiet kid for sure.”
Drew snorts, leaning back into the sofa and Paige lets out a soft sigh of relief at seeing her brother relax. Her eyes flicker over to Azzi, feeling a sense of calmness when she sees the younger girl’s nervous fidgeting has stilled and there’s a tentative smile on her face. 
 “You weren’t calm or quiet,” he says pointedly. 
“Was too,” Paige argues stubbornly. 
“Yes you were,” Drew presses, “Stephie if you don’t believe me, ask your Mama,” he turns to Azzi, “tell her Azzi. She literally yapped your ear off into becoming your friend.”
Azzi blanches, clearly shocked at having been so cavalierly addressed, and even Paige is a little surprised by the expectant “agree with me look” that Drew is giving the brunette after having spent the last moments practically glaring at her. But really it probably shouldn’t be that surprising. Because Drew and Paige are cut from the same material and letting Azzi into the folds seems to just come naturally to both of them. And it’s so familiar to when they’d all been years and years younger -two college students and a little boy - so familiar to the countless nights spent in Minnesota and DC and Connecticut where several silly arguments like this between Paige and Drew had ultimately ended with them both turning to Azzi -the forever moderator- in hopes that she’d side with them. 
She’d always sided with Drew -much to Paige’s chagrin, though she’d been secretly enamored by the relationship between her girlfriend and her brother- and this time is no different as Azzi shakes off the shock, replacing it with a cheeky expression. 
“Didn’t shut up for 14 whole hours,” she laments, her voice filled with teasing but she smiles at the blonde as if she’s reminiscing it, reminiscing the moment that began it all for them and Paige can’t help the hopelessly sappy smile she gives her in return. 
“14 hours? You talked for 14 whole hours, Miss Buecks?” Stephie’s eyes are comically large as she echoes the number. 
“Of course not,” Paige defends, eyebrows creasing as she glares at the other two adults in the room, “this is bullying. Stephie,” she whines, nuzzling her head into the little girl’s neck, “they’re ganging up on me.”
“There there Miss Buecks,” Stephie says diligently as she pats at the older woman’s cheek. 
“We’re just telling the truth,” Drew shrugs. 
“Exactly,” Azzi nods solemnly, “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
She grins, reaching her hand out for a high five and Paige watches as Drew raises his own hand, ready to reciprocate. For a second it feels like everything is coming together; like the past could just stay in the past. But then he stops midair. The easy smile fades from his face and the previous tautness comes rushing back. He pulls his hand back, turning away from Azzi, who’s face slowly falls back. The lightheartedness from mere seconds ago is replaced by the tension from before and that burden of all that’s happened between us returns as a heavy weight pressed against Paige’s heart. 
“Paigey used to yap a lot,” Drew says slowly, “like I said you couldn’t get her to shut up and then one day,” he pauses, angry eyes darting towards Azzi, “one day she just got quiet- she shut up- she stopped yapping all the time.”
“Why?” Stephie asks softly, her tone a mixture of concern and genuine curiosity. 
Paige’s arm tightens around the little girl in her lap as she shoots her brother a pleading look, “Drew-”
“Because someone-” there’s so much venom in the word that it makes Azzi visibly flinch and Paige wants to soothe away the creases forming in her forehead, “someone broke her heart. And it took years- it took years to get her back to normal, to get her yapping again. To get my sister back to who she was.”
There’s pindrop silence as Drew seethes at his own words and Azzi rapidly blinks back tears, until Stephie turns around in Paige’s lap, tiny hands cupping the blonde’s face as she tries not to let her emotions show in front of the little girl. 
“Someone broke your heart?” Stephie looks so upset by the idea that Paige wants to vehemently deny it, “how could anyone break your heart Miss Buecks?”
She means well -just a child concerned for one of her favorite people- but she has no idea of the dagger she’s just twisted in her own mother’s heart as a faint whimper escapes Azzi’s lips. Paige opens and closes her mouth, hopelessly looking at the brunette who’s digging her fist into the sofa, despair embedded all over her face. 
“Stephie-” Paige tries to say. 
“Don’t worry kid,” Drew cuts in instead, his voice steady and firm, “it happened once but I won’t-” his eyes burn with fire as he looks at Azzi, “I won’t let it happen again.”
“Stephie,” Paige says quietly after a moment, her gaze transfixed on Azzi whose doing her absolute best not to let her emotions show in front of her little girl, “sweetheart how ‘bout you show Uncle Drew around the house.”
“I don’t want to see the house,” Drew says petulantly as he stubbornly crosses his arms over his chest
“Yes. You. Do.” Paige grits out, trying not to curse when her younger brother rolls his eyes at her. 
“C’mon Uncle Drew,” Stephie says cheerfully as she slips off of Paige’s lap and reaches a hand out for the man instead, “Miss Buecks has a really cool house and maybe we can go steal some of her cool clothes.”
Drew sighs but he’s not immune to Stephie’s infectious energy. A hint of a grin sneaks through the cracks as he accepts the little girl’s offer. Stephie starts to pull him towards the staircase but the perceptive girl stops for a second in front of her mother, a cautious look on her face as Azzi musters up a grin to mollify the little girl's concern and Drew adamantly averts looking at the other woman. 
“Go on bean,” Azzi urges softly, keeping her shaky voice under control, “go show him the house.”
Stephie nods before gently pressing her lips against Azzi’s cheeks, eliciting a deep breath from her mother, before she practically drags Drew towards the staircase, already speaking a mile per minute.  
There’s a pause, filled with a combination of the quiet rumble of Stephie blabbering upstairs and Azzi’s uneven breathing. Then the tears that the brunette had been trying so hard to barricade behind her eyelids starts cascading down her cheeks and Paige almost trips on her own feet as she moves towards her. She falls to her knees in front of Azzi, gently brushing her against her cheek, before wrapping her hands around her tightly formed fists. 
“Baby don’t cry. Please I hate it when you cry,” Paige whispers softly, pressing her forehead against Azzi’s, “he’s just-”
“He’s right,” Azzi cuts her off, shaking her head. 
“Az-”
“He hates me-”
“He doesn’t-”
“He does,” Azzi presses, her tears falling faster now, “and he should. Paige I did break your heart,” they both flinch at the blunt statement, “and he doesn’t trust me because of it and he hasn’t forgiven me for it. I haven’t forgiven me for it.”
“Baby,” Paige echoes again, unsure what else to say. 
“Have you forgiven me?” 
The question lingers in the air as Azzi looks expectantly at her and Paige stumbles over her words, trying to find the right ones. She doesn’t really know how to answer the questions; hadn’t been expecting to be confronted with it tonight. Paige wants to say yes; she wants to take away Azzi’s guilt so fucking bad. These last few weeks had been so perfect, Paige had convinced herself she was over what had happened almost a decade ago. But if she’s honest with herself -if she’s honest to the memories of every night she’d spent sobbing into her pillows, missing the girl in front of her and resenting her for walking away- Paige doesn’t really know if she has forgiven Azzi. 
“Paige?” Azzi ask again, her voice breaking on the one syllable. 
Paige’s face crumbles as she looks at the girl defenselessly, “ Az, I-”
The doorbell rings at the exact moment and Stephie comes excitedly barrelling down the staircase as the two women scramble away from each other, trying to compose themselves. 
“Miss Buecks, Mama,” the younger girl hollers, “pizza’s here.”
Paige looks at Azzi who’s rushing to wipe away the remnants of her tears. She opens her mouth, desperately willing herself to find something, anything that could offer the girl in front of her some comfort; that could take their relationship away from the precipice of this cliff they’ve somehow found themselves on. But the right words don’t materialize and instead Paige closes her mouth and turns away, slowly heading towards Stephie as Azzi’s question continues to wreak havoc in her mind. 
And she wishes she could rewind the clock and freeze them where they had been just a couple of hours ago, freeze them in a moment where the past hadn’t weighed so heavily on the present. But perhaps the past had always been there and they’d simply just done a marvelous job ignoring it. Except tonight, they can’t seem to ignore it anymore. 
***
Paige thinks pizza has never tasted so terrible in her life. The mood at her basically unused dining table is numbingly sober; even Stephie has stopped her chatter, the little girl clearly picking up on the tense atmosphere around her as she quietly nibbles away at her slice of pizza. It’s in stark contrast to the innumerable dinners they’d had in the last three weeks; the three of them -Paige, Azzi and Stephie in between them- at the table or the counter or sometimes even the couch, raucous with laughter and smiles. Paige doesn’t understand how moments can shift like this; how last night could have been filled with giggles and grins and tonight is filled with nothing but a silence filled with too many unspoken words.
Her eyes flicker over to Azzi, who’s making a concerted effort to keep her own everted from both Bueckers siblings. The brunette’s question from before feels like a loud horn blaring in Paige’s ears, one that she can’t seem to find the off-switch for no matter how hard she searches for it. They’re barely a couple feet apart, sitting opposite each other with Drew next to Paige and Stephie next to Azzi, but the width of the table feels like it stretches for miles. Paige misses the warmth of Azzi’s body pressed against hers, misses the sly brush of their hands before their fingers would inevitably curl around each other’s underneath the table where Stephie couldn’t see. 
“Miss Buecks,” Paige swallows, trying to shake off the feeling of is this us crumbling again, as she diverts attention to Stephie who’s smiling at her with that cheeky grin that means she wants something. 
“What’s up Stephie-bean?” Paige asks and she’s convinced there’s magic in the little girl’s existence because despite the tightness she still feels in her chest, having Stephie close feels like a reason for her to breathe through it. 
“Can I have a soda?” Stephie asks, using the palm of her hands to frame her slightly tilted face as she juts out her bottom lip in a pleading. 
Paige grins, ready to concede as she often is with the little girl but Azzi speaks first, “no soda Stephie.”
Stephie pouts, “why not?”
“Because I said so,” Azzi says bluntly and Paige is taken back by the sharpness of it. 
“Mama please,” Stephie begs, “please, please, please.”
“No Stephie,” there’s a warning edge to Azzi’s tone but Stephie doesn’t pay much heed to it continuing to plead and the irritation on her mother’s face -clearly exacerbated by other things- gets more and more apparent. 
“Please Mama. Pizza just doesn’t go down right without soda,” the little girl argues, “can I please just have a little bit. Just a teeny tiny bit Please, please pretty please please-”
“Stephie, no” Azzi repeats, pinching the bridge of her nose as Drew and Paige exchange nervous glances. 
“Stephie, yes,” the little girl argues, stubbornly crossing her hands over her chest. 
“Ste-”
“I want soda. I want soda. Please, please, please, plea-”
“I said no Stephanie,” Azzi all but yells, startling Stephie into being quiet and making both Drew and Paige flinch. The little girl is wide-eyed for a second -not used to anything but her mother’s normally gentle way of dealing with her occasional brattiness- before her lips begin to tremble and big fat tears begin to spill down her cheeks. She scrambles out of her chair, beelining towards Paige and climbing onto her lap as she burrows her face into the blonde’s neck, wetting her shirt with tears. 
“Shhh, shhh sweetheart it’s okay,” Paige whispers to the little girl, gently rocking the two of them back and forth as she strokes her hair. 
She glances at Azzi, who’s adamantly looking, her face stone cold but regret gleaming in her eyes, “Az-”
“No,” the younger woman says immediately. 
“C’mon,” Paige says exasperatedly, “you don’t even know what I was gonna say.”
“If it’s about giving her a soda, I don’t wanna hear it,” Azzi warns, “you can’t just give into all of her demands all the time, you have to learn to say no and she needs to learn to hear it.”
“I hear you but Az it’s a Friday-”
“Paige-”
“A tiny bit of soda to start the weekend can’t hurt. In fact,” Paige smirks down at the little girl in her lap as she coaxes Stephie’s face out of her neck so she can wipe away the tears on her blotchy red face, “I think a little soda to start the weekend is probably good for you.”
She feels her heart soar when it makes Stephie giggle, letting out a couple teary hiccoughs in between as she clutches onto Paige. 
“I think so too Mama,” the little girl echoes, looking back at her mother with a timid grin. 
“Give in Azzi,” Paige matches the pleading smile on Stephie’s face as she turns her focus onto the brunette, “she deserves a little treat 
“I know what she deserves. I think I know what’s good for my daughter,” Azzi says steely and Paige feels something cold squeezing through her ribcage, “no soda Stephie. End of discussion.”
My daughter. 
The thing is Paige doesn’t even really think she has the right to be upset over Azzi’s statements. Really, it’s nothing but the truth. Stephie is Azzi’s daughter and Azzi definitely knows what’s good for her daughter. So why does it sting like this? Why does it feel like little shards of ice piercing into her heart, leaving deep gashes that have her whole body feeling like it’s freezing over? Paige knows why, knows that these past weeks had been enough to trick her mind into believing the mirage that Stephie was hers. But now Azzi’s flicked her fingers against it causing the whole fantasy to come crashing down and Paige feels herself slowly getting buried under the rubble of it. 
“Right," she says softly, trying to keep her voice steady, “she’s your daughter and you know best,” she ignores the tinge of guilt in Azzi’s eyes as she turns to Stephie who looks like she’s ready to protest again, “you heard your Mama Stephie. No soda tonight.”
“But Miss Buecks-” Stephie whines. 
“No sweetheart,” Paige says gently, shaking her head. 
The little girl narrows her eyes before letting out a frustrated groan as she slips off of Paige’s lap. She loudly stomps her feet, glaring at all the adults in the room before she angrily storms upstairs. It’s so unlike the usually even-keeled little girl that Paige thinks it’s probably a reaction to the tension she can sense between the adults. Her eyes drift over Drew -who’s chewing at his lips in a similar manner to how his big sister often does- before locking with Azzi’s and she feels that familiar guilt of there’s always collateral damage for our mistakes pooling at the pit of her stomach. The brunette breaks eye contact first, letting out a heavy sigh before she follows behind her daughter and Paige lets her face fall into her hands, 
It feels like everything’s in free fall, like during an earthquake when everything shakes and the books -the complicatedly tangled stories of the past and present- go flying from their shelves. Paige rubs at her eyelids, trying to make this helpless feeling go away. Her fingers are coiled tightly around a rope, just like they had been on that night eight years ago and just like that night, she can feel the tips of them starting to bleed. She can feel Drew’s gaze fixated on her; can tell he’s contemplating whether to say something or not. Swallowing, Paige pulls her face out of her palms to look at her brother, a decisively defiant expression on her face. 
“Something you wanna say?” she asks him, cocking her eyebrows as if she’s daring him to speak. 
Drew hesitates for a second before an almost identical expression crosses his face, “what the fuck are you doing Paige?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Paige replies airly. 
Drew narrows his eyes at her, “seriously?”
“Seriously,” Paige shrugs. 
“This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement Paige,” Drew says, ignoring the way his sister flinches at the reminder as he drops his voice lower so they can’t be overheard, “you were supposed to be with Golden State for one season, hopefully win a championship and then you’d be off to New York at the end. That was the plan but clearly all of that has gone flying out the window. You’re getting attached to this city, this life, to them.” 
A barely believable “of course I’m not,” flutters weakly off of Paige’s lip as she blinks rapidly at the accusation. 
“Oh for fucks sake,” Drew curses, “Paige your bed looks like it hasn’t been slept in, in days. There’s almost no groceries in your fridge or your pantry. From what I saw of the garden, it’s basically been left for dead. Your closet is half empty and it sure as shit isn’t because they’re all in the laundry because as Stephie puts it, Azzi says that their laundry basket is three times heavier than it used to be with all your clothes.”
“I-I don’t-” Paige stutters, “that- that doesn’t- doesn’t mean-”
“It’s been two months -if even that- two months Paige and I think you're in even deeper now than you were the last time,” Drew spits the last two words out bitterly like their flames on the tip of his tongue and the sparks of it singe Paige’s skin. 
“That’s not- I’m not-” she tries to justify but it sounds hollow to her own ears. 
“You are,” Drew says exasperatedly, “what are you gonna do when she walks away again? When she lets you go again, what are you gonna do Paige?”
Her little brother isn’t cruel but Paige swears she’s never heard anything more aimed to hurt than these perfectly directed arrows he’s launching straight at her heart. The defense of she’s not going to leave me stays stuck in her throats, battling against the harsh thoughts of she already has that are taunting her. 
“She- I- you- this- I don’t- you can’t-” Paige doesn’t even know what she’s trying to say; she feels like a fish spluttering outside of the water, desperate to breathe air that seems to kill her the more she inhales it. 
Drew looks away, his face crumpling slightly, a mixture of sadness and guilt gleaming in his eyes, and Paige can tell that he hates himself a little for being the one to cause her this torment, the one to make her face the darkest possibility of her reality. 
“I was there Paige,” he says softly, “I was the one who watched you break in ways that I didn’t even think you were breakable,” his voice snaps, “and I was the one who watched how hard you had to work to put yourself back together. I don’t wanna see any of that again.”
“Drew,” Paige whispers. 
“And it wasn’t just her,” Drew continues, “you lost her family too.”
Paige gulps at the reminder, “they were still there. They came to games. They were at my wedding.”
Drew shakes his head, “but it wasn’t the same and you know it. You lost her and you lost them and this time,” he bites his lip, like he wishes the next words weren’t sitting on his vocal chords, waiting to spill out, “this time, if you lose her, you’ll lose a lot more.”
“What do you-” Paige heistates, unsure if she even wants to ask, “what do you mean?”
Her little brother pauses, mouth opening and closing like it’s painful to speak, before his eyes drift towards the stairs and Paige feels her heart sinking even before Drew says the words she knows he’s about to say. 
“You’ll lose her daughter. You’ll lose Stephie.”
“No,” the whispered syllable is out before Paige can even stop it, “no, no, no, no-”
“Paige-”
“Stop it Drew,” the blonde says louder than she wanted to as she clutches at her heart, trying to keep it whole as the tears overflow over her waterline. 
“Stop what Paige? Stop saying things you already know deep down but are choosing to ignore? Is that what you want me to stop doing?” Drew asks harshly. 
“Drew-”
“There’s a reason you didn’t want to commit to the Valkyries and you know it. There’s a reason you only wanted to be here for this season.” her younger brother says firmly. 
“I know,” Paige whispers, “I know.”
Drew’s eyes soften, “stick to plan Paige. Let the Liberty be the end goal. You’ll be in New York by the end of October.”
Paige bites her lip so hard, she can taste that morbid taste of iron on her lips as she opens her mouth to say something. She’s not sure if it’s to argue with Drew or to agree and she doesn’t get a chance to find out. Instead there’s a sharp intake of breath and then a quiet, timid voice laced with accusation and Paige feels the blood drain out of her body as she slowly turns around to find Stephie and Azzi -their faces ashen with identical expressions of betrayal- staring at her. 
“Miss Buecks, you’re moving to New York?”
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