#when i noticed how much i identify with the jerkass

[empressofmankind]

You know what is kind of fucking me up today?

Sir Crocodile is a Millennial.

Among the older Millenials, but still. Like, I clocked Buggy being in my disillusioned, self-loathing, back-pain plagued generation right off the bat, but...

I need to sit down for a minute.

It makes sense though.

That's the worst part.

[thebrownssociety]

i noticed that in a past post you had mentioned daffy was in the front lines of world war 2. how was that like? how did toons particularly handle war?

Not particularly well. Toons are not designed for war, they're designed to make people laugh. Added to that that most of the toons were very young [under 15] when they were sent to the front and the story gets sadder.

Warnings: Mention of War and descriptions of PTSD [I have done research, but this is Toon version, so it's not going to tally exactly with humans]

Disclaimer - this is a headcanon. I have mentioned the companies here and Walt Disney [briefly] stating the obvious, it's all made-up.

All of the companies involved did there best to help/protect the toons as best they could. None of the female or children toons were allowed to go and there was a limit on how old the 'adult' toons had to be before they could go. That ended up being 5. The companies wanted 10, the Military wanted three, five was a compromise - although the companies had to fight hard to get that. In the end it boiled down to 'Either five, or they don't go at all'. The companies also re-negotiated the initial year the toons would be away down to 6 consecutive months. The companies wanted three months, so it was another compromise.

Stating the obvious, none of the toons enjoyed it much. Even the ones who thought they would thrive [Like Donald, Yosamite Sam and other 'tough' toons] found it difficult. Not to say they don't remember some bits of it fondly, mainly the comradeship they found, but for the most part it was hell on earth. After the first lot of Toons who's gone in the first month [about 30, mainly background toons, Prince Florian and Sylvester] came back from the front they looked so pale and ghostlike [visually, a shell of there former selves] that none of the others wanted to go and the companies tried to pull them out of it. [This being near the end of 1943] But they weren't allowed to, so the toons had to go.

The time the toons were fighting was 'only' Jan 1943 - end of war, Sep 1945, and the toons were only there for 6 months, but it was a long, terrifying 6 months.

The weird thing was that after the first initial couple of months while there coulor came back and they looked more life-like again, they seemed okay. Really! They could still act - and act well - they joked with each other in a normal manner and they talked to people. Sure, there were a few of them showing more difficulties adjusting - like Daffy who was acting paranoid and was constantly on the edge and Donald who's already-existing anger issues went through the roof, not to mention Elmer who was mute for a few months after coming back and Pete [Disney] who locked himself away and wouldn't come out, not to mention the at least 30 of background toons who were all showing extreme level of difficultly, but, hey, that was only a couple of toons, right? In the grand scheme of things. The rest of them were fine.

They were not fine.

It took a good couple of years [between 5-10] But eventually the cracks started showing. The Toons who had fought in the war started reacting weirdly to loud noise. Jumping onto the ceiling and refusing to come down, hiding under things and in things [like jugs and cups and cracks in the wall] whenever they thought they were under attack. They were having frequent, intense nightmares and a lot of the toon were displaying mental health issues like paranoia and splitting themselves in two [literally. It depended on the toon as to what exactly the personalities looked like, but as a general guide they'd be one 'young' one from around the time they were first created and another one that was closer to there normal age, but looked and acted completely different. Doctor Scratchesniff theorised it's what the toons worse fears about themselves are, visualised and brought to life.]

The toons were also having flashbacks to the war, which is bad enough on its own, but because they're toons the flashbacks literally engulfed them and whoever was near, drawing them into a world that they hadn't been in for about five-ten years. This, as you can probably imagine, was quite a major problem so the three major studios - Disney, Warner Bros's and Hanna-Barbera - put there heads together and came up with a solution, and that solution came in the form of Doctor Scratchensniff. [I do have a separate headcanon on him, covered in my 'Mental-Health' headcanon] The idea was that D.S. would work across all three studios and have enhanced toon powers.

While it's well known that a lot of Toons have been affected by the war, I'll go through a few of the toons that [I headcanon] have had the most noticeable difficulties after the war.

Daffy - He now goes back and forth between his 40's characterisation [screwball, Clampett version] and his greedy-jerkass characterisation in later years. The way it works is he will be the 'sensible' persona of the Greedy Daffy for most of the year [who, for all his faults, does care about his friends/family and can take care of Plucky easily], then he will suddenly switch back to his 40's persona. [Who, although he does still care for his friends/family, he can't express it as well and he has NO IDEA who Plucky is.]

After a bit of help and counselling from D.S. he has identified his major triggers [and Daffy has informed the rest of the LT's so they're aware of them]. For example, flying a plane will instantly put him back in the 40's mindset. For a time it was flying in general that put him in the mindset [which was fun when the LT's went to Australia] but now Daffy's okay with it and can manage small journeys easily. Longer journeys he struggled with, but he simply doesn't go on long plane journeys.

He also doesn't like Toons taller than himself getting in his face, [much taller, I mean. Bugs is alright.] He'll go into 'Fight' mode and try to attack them. Non-expected loud sounds like a car backfiring or fireworks can also remind him of war. Daffy's reaction when he hears something that he's not sure of what it is, it to try and find it and attack it. Either that or he would teleport away to a small space [like a jug, under a staircase or a crack in the wall] and not come out until Avery/Elmer/Porky calmed him down. [Bugs does try, but Daffy tends to get more wound up whenever Bugs tries anything, so the rabbit had to stop.]

Donald - I'm not going to spend long on Donald, mainly because his issues have [I'm fairly certain] been touched on in canon? His triggers are a lot like Daffy's except that Donald is MUCH more likely to try and attack anything he thinks is a threat rather than run away from it. He has inadvertently hurt [both physically and mentally] people he cares about by doing this, but they understand the reason why. Doesn't necessary make it easier, but they understand.

The main difference between him and Daffy though is that Donald has always wanted help. Ever since he realised he was hurting the people he loved, he wanted help. He had time off from work, Scrooge stepped in and insisted Donald and the boys move in with him so he didn't have to worry about a roof over his head and getting food and stuff. [Unfortunately this genuine well-meant, kind act only added to Donald's general feeling of uselessness]

The good news was that not only did Donald have extended family support, but he was best friends with Mickey and Goofy. Mickey was able to lean in Walts ears and convince him to treat Donald more leniently than he might have other toons, he also did his best to help Donald come to terms with what had happened to him during the war. Goofy could - in theory - do a lot less than Mickey, but he WAS more available and completely willing to take the boys off him for a couple of hours/days/weeks if needed. Goofy can cook - and cook well - so he'd bring food over for Donald so that if [as happened often] he didn't feel like cooking he'd have something ready to heat up/put in the oven.

Elmer - Some of the toons when they were put in charge of there units got on quite well, in that they had men who were willing to listen to them, and treated them kindly. Elmer's troop wasn't like that. He was very young when he was sent there [8] and was still more like Egghead. A bit silly, a bit hyper and not as hard as he needed to be. He cried the first time he went into battle and had a lot of trouble trying to gain the respect of his men. This has had a knock-on effect in that he thought everyone around him hated him and didn't like him. Even when he went back to Toontown, he just thought all his friends/family were being nice to him because they had to, not because they genuinely liked him.

Over many years Elmer has come to accept this isn't true and has been in therapy with D.S. in order to discuss it further. On a different note the main immediately noticeable difference upon coming back from war [aside from the fact he was mute for about two months] was that he started sleepwalking. His sleep had never been great at the best of times, but the war gave him such bad nightmares that he hardly ever slept. When he did eventually get to sleep, he started sleepwalking. Elmer being Elmer somehow didn't notice this at first? He thought it was completely normal [?] to start the night in your bed and wake up in Toon-World Australia having somehow swam his way across the ocean and hacked his way through the Australian outbacks to the middle off Australia, while asleep. He then had to spend several days trying to get back to Looney-Tune Street. With this in mind, it was really only a matter of time until it was noticed by the others.

They do there best to look out for him, if one of the LT's see Elmer sleepwalking, they will follow him/go with him and try to look after him. It should be noted though that despite the fact Fudd is clearly asleep, he is somehow aware of his surroundings and should someone attack him he will fight back and, most times, win.

[starstruckpurpledragon]

So I watched WW84 last night and was very... underwhelmed.

Spoilers below the cut

So, in theory, the movie had an interesting plot and a decent message.  The whole thing revolved around the idea that things gained through lies and cheats are never as satisfying as things gained through honesty and hard work.  That’s the message Hippolyta tries to teach tiny Diana in the flashback at the start of the movie and it’s the message Diana uses the lasso of truth to convey to the world at the climax of the movie.

Unfortunately, the movie itself is riddled with problems.  The most noticeable being the gratuitous racism, which is part of the movie’s ham-handed attempt to tie into the Cold War.  The second most noticeable problem with the movie is that it’s boring.

Yup, it’s boring.  The pacing is terrible and if I hadn’t been watching with someone else I’d have stopped the movie about halfway through because the writing failed to draw me in and get me invested in the characters or in the plot or in... anything at all.

Diana is introduced into the movie proper, after the flashback prologue, flipping around on her lasso, throwing her tiara around (which I do love), and sliding around on her ridiculously heeled shoes like friction doesn’t exist on command.  It’s a shift in her fighting abilities - making her abilities not just superhuman but uncanny-valley unreal - that I had hoped wasn’t as big of a problem as the trailers made it look.  Unfortunately, it’s actually worse in the movie.  All the fight scenes are kind of unwatchable as a result, though none so much as that first fight scene in the mall.

After the mall fight, the illegal black market items the thieves tried to steal wind up at Diana’s workplace, one of which is to be identified by her new coworker Barbara Minerva, who’s sweet and nervous and seems to have a massive crush on Diana.  Diana is standoffish at first but is taken in by Barbara’s kindness and they end up having dinner together.

The whole thing reads as a really cute date - honestly, I’d have loved for her to be Diana’s new love interest, but of course the hero can’t be allowed to stop pining for Chris Pine.  It’s in his name, after all.

Anyway, the item Barbara is supposed to identify turns out to be a wishing stone of the jerkass genie variety.  It gets compared to the Monkey’s Paw at one point.  It grants a joking request for a cup of coffee for an unknown price, grants Diana’s unspoken wish to have Steve back for the price of her powers, and grants Barbara her desire to be more like Diana - powers and strength - in exchange for the kindness that made her so likable. 

And then comes Maxwell Lord who figures out how to loophole abuse the wish-granting system.  He wishes to become the avatar of the stone and it melts right into him, giving him both the ability to grant wishes and to decide what to take in trade.  And if other people make wishes for his sake, then they’ll also be the ones paying the price for his sake.

Meanwhile, Diana is trying to find the stone again.  She’s got Steve back and at least manages to realize that anything powerful enough to be granting these kind of wishes is going to have a major downside.  But neither she nor Steve are self aware enough to realize that there’s now a non-consenting third party in their relationship, otherwise known as that poor man Steve is possessing.  They go to the man’s apartment, look through his clothes, sleep in his bed, and yet can’t even recognize that Steve’s come back to life at this other man’s expense.  Either he’s riding parasite in someone else’s body, suppressing that guy’s consciousness entirely.  Or Steve swapped places, meaning the stone killed a guy to bring Steve back.  Either way, they’re using someone else’s body without permission and Diana’s only concern is making sure she gets to keep Steve this time.  Even he’s not too concerned with the person whose body he’s riding around in - it’s the potential nuclear war that makes him push Diana to reject her wish and let him return to being dead.

This whole thing is portrayed as romantic instead of morally and ethically gross.  Like... these are our heroes?  Seriously?  Are you sure???

The entire part of the movie that took place in Egypt could have been cut and the movie would have been significantly less racist and the plot would have made significantly more sense.  And we could have skipped the nonsensical theft of a jet that Steve shouldn’t be able to fly - which I take as foreshadowing he’s not the real Steve, but a lie based on Diana’s memory of Steve, but is somehow really just an excuse to have the invisible jet show up and have Steve inadvertently tell Diana all she needs to know to unlock the ability to fly later on in the movie.

O_o

Back to our villains.  Barbara’s powers are going to her head.  The stronger she grows, the more her personality is warped.  She fixates on her desire never to be hurt again, but in doing so begins lashing out at others eventually harming those she’d previously been kind to, including her homeless friend and Diana herself.  She views Diana’s attempts to rekindle her compassion and rationality as condescension and insults, leading to Barbara eventually rejecting her humanity entirely by giving up her initial wish in favor of becoming something new, a never before seen apex predator stronger and more capable than Diana.  This leads to her transformation into Cheetah.  (Not that Cheetahs are actually apex predators, but... artistic license?  Whatever.)

Ultimately, though, Barbara isn’t really the most interesting villain of the movie.  She’s kind of a tired trope.  Mousey white woman who’d be gorgeous if she took the time to follow society’s beauty standards envies the seemingly effortlessly beautiful and ambiguously foreign Diana Prince, turns into a bitch when granted the power and beauty she craved, and is eventually defeated because there’d never be enough strength and power in the world to satisfy her - because the safety it represented for her was never real and it could never make her happy because of that fact.  She’d always want more.  

Maxwell Lord, however, is a very interesting villain.  We get some of his backstory at one point.  He grew up ostracized and alone due to abusive parents and peers who bullied him for being Hispanic.  As an adult he tries to erase everything that marks him as not-white, giving into the peer pressure racism exudes on him to blend in.  But his attempt to create the American Dream for himself and his son is falling apart (and heavily implied to be a con job these days) and he’s so focused on being what he thinks his son needs that he doesn’t realize that everything he’s doing is taking him further and further away from the one person who matters to him the most.

It’s rather understandable that he doesn’t care about the negative effects the wishes have on other people because other people have always treated him badly.  And he doesn’t care about the negative effects granting wishes has on him personally, because he always believes with a little more time he can fix everything.  It’s the realization that his son is out there alone and in danger of being killed that makes him reject his powers and his wish - and probably doing a lot more to reverse all the subsequent wishes than anything else - because the one thing at the core of who he is was his love for his son.  His desire for his son to have a better life than he has and to be a better person than he has been.

Honestly, Maxwell Lord might be the only likable character in the movie.  Admittedly, he’s played by Pedro Pascal who is super adorable and I may be biased as a result.

Anyway, there are the bones of a good movie in there.  It’s unfortunate that the whole thing suffered from bad everything else. 

[razzle-zazzle]

Yes, I am calling this AU "Sad Jay Noises"

1918 Words

In the aftermath of the Oni, when Ninjago struggled to rebuild itself, in those first, fledgeling weeks, all the ninja could do was grieve.

Maybe one of them would go out to make an appearance, help with the reconstruction efforts. Maybe two. And maybe it’d just be one of those days where they all stayed in the monastery, desperately avoiding the empty room where dust clung to the bedsheets, their grief choking the air. Even Wu tended to give the doorway a wide berth when he passed it in the hall—a hall he rarely walked now, avoiding it entirely when he could help it.

Several times Jay had found himself stopping by that door, tracing his hands over the wood while contemplating going in. And every time, his mind would bring up the memories unbidden, so real and visceral and painful—

He didn’t scream. He just fell, silently, into the cloud. He hadn’t screamed—Jay had.

He didn’t scream, but Jay could never recall him looking more terrified.

And then Jay would find himself in the bathroom, splashing cold water in his face. Telling himself that everything was okay, when it clearly wasn’t. Telling himself that he’d go in next time.

It was after those first few weeks that they all—Jay wasn’t sure how they even managed to reach this decision, acting as one even as more than a few of them threatened to leave—wordlessly agreed enough was enough. They would go in that room, collect the meaningful things, and give him a proper memorial. They would mourn, and then they’d move on. Maybe they’d split apart again, like when Zane had sacrificed himself to defeat the Overlord. Maybe Jay and Nya would finally start putting together plans for their wedding.

Of course, fate was rarely so kind. Just as they had finally worked up the courage to confront what they had been avoiding, an alert came up. A break-in at the museum.

A welcome excuse to leave the room untouched.

And so the team assembled, meeting the new villain on his way out of the museum, stolen papers in his bag. “Stay out of my way.” He’d huffed, voice distorted through his mask. A mask painted in a way clearly emulating the oni, sending another pang of grief through the group. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, so stay out of my way.”

They didn’t.

He mopped the floor with them, though Kai grumbled that it was only because they were out of practice. That they’d underestimated the guy. That they’d win the next time he showed up.

They didn’t.

“We’ll win next time. One person can’t beat all of us that many times.” Lloyd promised. Yeah. They’d do better next time.

They didn’t.

“Vengeance” was what the public had taken to calling him, based on how his mask and style seemed to be emulating the oni scourge that had so recently been defeated. Media stations speculated on his intentions, social media threads discussed theories about his techniques. There was something achingly familiar to Vengeance, something about the way he moved and fought that reminded Jay of something he couldn’t identify. The others agreed, there was something familiar they couldn’t identify.

“We’ll unmask him in the next battle, everyone. We’ll get the drop on him.”

They didn’t.

And, throughout all of this, the empty room had gone untouched, the priority pushed down in all the chaos Vengeance had been causing. They’d brought it up, once, after a particularly embarrassing battle, but couldn’t bring themselves to do it. Decided they’d get to it after cleaning themselves up.

They didn’t.

But Vengeance did, breaking into the monastery while they were away, rummaging through the things in that room with no care for them. No care for how he was desecrating the memory. It made Jay's blood boil. How dare. The audacity to just dig through their brother's stuff like that.

Kai swore that they'd take Vengeance down next time, to make up for letting this happen.

They didn't.

+=+=+=+=+

It had been a more successful battle than the other times, Zane managing to immobilize Vengeance with ice just long enough for Lloyd to get a good swing in.

Of course, that didn’t last. Vengeance, as always, found a way to regain the upper hand, trapping Lloyd and Kai in a pile of rubble. Nya managed to knock Vengeance off balance with a blast of water from the nearby river, but the extra water on their impromptu battlefield plus a misfire from Zane only served to make everything spiral out of control faster.

But then Jay saw an opportunity. No longer taking the time to think, he rushed Vengeance, tackling him to the ground. “Why are you so frustrating?” He’d asked, while rolling around in the dirt. Vengeance said nothing, just moved to push Jay off of himself.

But Jay wasn’t having it. This weirdo had been causing trouble in the city—so soon after the oni invasion, while emulating those monsters to boot—for so long now, and Jay was done. How was he supposed to grieve his best friend if he was constantly being reminded of the circumstances that killed him? Jay wasn’t thinking, couldn’t hear anything past the sound of blood rushing in his head.

So he punched Vengeance, putting as much voltage as he could into it. He couldn’t help but be satisfied at the whumph sound Vengeance made, the way he twitched and spazzed under Jay as the electricity coursed through his body.

But all too soon, Jay was flying through the air from the force of Vengeance's throw, slamming against Nya before he could even process what happened. When he did, when he heard Vengeance's cry of "JAY YOU FUCK THAT ACTUALLY HURT" as the man charged towards him, Jay had to double take.

He'd put in far too much voltage for Vengeance to have recovered so fast. And yet, there he was, grabbing Jay by the neck and lifting off the ground, ready to throw him in the river.

But Jay wasn't going down that easily—at least, not alone. With a well-placed kick, Jay turned what would have been another take down into a struggle, getting both himself and Vengeance into the overpowering current.

His friends called out his name as he continued to struggle against Vengeance, trying to gain an upper hand. But all too soon, he and his foe were washed away.

+=+=+=+=+

Jay groaned as he coughed up water. He must have hit something in the river, if he'd fallen unconscious. Blinking the bleariness out of his eyes, Jay had to double take once again.

Vengeance was leaning over him, hands on his chest. It took Jay a moment to realize. He had been doing compressions.

He might have even saved Jay's life.

Noticing that Jay was awake, Vengeance backed away. "You okay?"

Jay's jaw was on the floor. Was… was this a trick? It had to be.

"Alright, what's your ploy here?" Electricity sparked in Jay's hands as he backed away, hackles raised.

Vengeance, though his expression couldn't be seen past the mask, gave Jay a blank stare. "Is it so wrong for me to be concerned, Jay?"

And there it was again. He'd referred to the ninja by name before, but something about the way he said Jay's, the sort of familiarity in his tone, gave Jay pause.

Well, two could play at that game—even if Jay wasn't sure what that game was. He relaxed somewhat, though he remained ready for action at any moment. "And why would you be so concerned?"

Vengeance recoiled, as if hurt by that remark. He looked away. "Because I still care about you, Jay."

What the actual fuck. "And why should I believe that?" Jay demanded, hands sparking again.

Vengeance looked back to him, before wordlessly raising his hands to his mask. He took it off.

Jay froze.

It was the last thing Jay expected to see under Vengeance's mask, and yet, there he was.

Cole.

"C-... C o L e?" Holy shit. Holy forking shit on a waffle. Cole was alive. He was there, breathing, breathtaking, alive. Jay stumbled forwards, choking a sob out. His tears were hot on his face. But that didn't matter, because Cole was alive and he was right there and Jay could hit him for being such an idiot and making everyone think he was dead.

So Jay did.

"You jerkass! This whole time, we thought you were dead!" Jay's fists pounded uselessly against Cole's chest, tears running hot down his face. "Do you have any idea how much we've been hurting? How much we wanted you back?" He let out a cry, sagging forwards into Cole's arms. Cole's strong, comforting arms, that always kept Jay safe late at night. Jay wailed again, shoving his face into Cole's chest as his shoulders shook.

Cole said nothing, letting Jay cry it out. When Jay finished, Cole backed away, reaching for his mask to put it back on.

"What are you doing? Cole, stop."

Cole looked back towards Jay, his expression neutral. "I've still got something to finish, Jay."

"Then let us help you." Jay came forwards, taking Cole's hands into his own. "Come back to the monastery, everyone will be so happy to know you're alive. Please." At Cole's unconvinced look, Jay continued. "Whatever's going on, whatever this 'Vengeance' phase is—" And Jay had no doubt in his mind that vengeance was the last thing on Cole's To-Do List; Cole wasn't that type, "—We'll help. We'll support you. We're your family, Cole. Let us help you."

Cole gently removed his hands from Jay's, one of his arms moving to rub nervously at the back of his neck. "Wow, Jay. That's—I don't—" His expression turned cold as his grip tightened on the horns of his mask. He looked away.

"For a moment there, I almost believed you."

Jay's blood ran cold.

Cole replaced the mask, adjusting it once it was on. "Not that it matters." He said grimly. "Even if I wanted to go back, I really can't."

"What… what are you talking about, Cole? Of course you can come back. You can always come back."

Cole shook his head. "I don't think you get it, Jay. Even if I could, I don't want to. There's nothing left for me there." He moved to leave, but Jay latched onto his arm, the tears already back.

"Cole, please." And boy, if that didn't sound pathetic. But Jay was fine with sounding pathetic. His image wasn't important right now.

But Cole just shoved Jay off, knocking him to the floor.

"Cole, wait—"

Cole whipped around, kneeling so that he was directly in Jay's face. The snarling face of the mask met Jay's heartbroken one. "I don't want to hurt you, Jay. I don't want to hurt anybody, so stay out of my way." Cole then stood up and began walking away, leaving Jay with words that went straight through Jay's heart.

"If it makes you feel better, it's not because of something you did do."

"It's what you didn't."

And when the others found Jay, lying there in the dirt pathetically, sobbing inconsolably, when Kai angrily demanded to know what "Vengeance" did to get Jay so worked up like that, when Nya helped him up, when Zane asked what happened, when Lloyd tried to console him, something in Jay broke. Something he didn't think he could fix.

I'll tell the others once we're back at the monastery, Jay told himself. They'll know what to do.

But he didn't.

[sage-nebula]

I finished both the main story and the postgame story of Pokémon Sword, so I figure I’ll type up a little informal review on it, if for nothing else than to have my thoughts on record.

Overall: I liked it, and think despite Game Freak’s failings, it was an improvement over both the Kalos and the Alola games.

First, just from a gameplay standpoint: While I’m still upset about the National Dex being axed, as well as upset over Mega Evolution being axed, and mad about Mimikyu being nerfed even though I knew last gen it would happen, overall gameplay improved VASTLY in this game when compared to the Alola games especially. True, your outfit is still ugly when you’re on your bike, but the music doesn’t change to something hideous, and you can use the bike to maneuver over both land and water. The curry minigame in Camp might be a bit finicky, and the play options are limited (+ I miss being able to pet my pokémon), but Camp lets all of your pokémon out at once, and they can interact with each other, and I think that’s really great. Additionally, I like the immersion of being on a journey and being able to set up camp and cook. It’s nice. Customization is far better in this game than in previous games (even if I found the perfect outfit right at the start and never changed it---though hell, that’s a bonus), I like controlling everything with the buttons rather than using a touch screen, the wild area is a lot of fun to run around in, I like having pokémon visible on the overworld . . . overall, I just find it to be an improvement over the Alola games in terms of gameplay in virtually every way. At least for me, the Alola games were not very much fun to play. I loathed the Ride music and the fact that I was using someone else’s pokémon instead of my own (and as a result had to walk everywhere since they didn’t give me a goddamn bike), the customization options were really lacking, the level balance was horrible and so grinding was an absolute chore, Refresh was annoying because your pokémon were dirty after basically every single goddamn battle and you could only tidy one of them up at a time, and so on and so forth. The Galar games aren’t perfect, but in terms of gameplay they’re a huge improvement over Gen VII and that makes me breathe a sigh of relief at least, because the most important thing about video games is that they have to be fun to play. If you’re not having fun because the mechanics are bad, there’s a problem.

As far as the story goes, it definitely had its issues, most notably in the fact that Chairman Rose’s goals were never properly explained, the cover legendaries didn’t really factor in much until the postgame, and the fact that Chairman Rose and Oleana were evil at all felt more like a “well we have to have some evil organization in here huh” than anything else---like Game Freak was trying to adhere to tradition rather than writing a villain-based story because they genuinely wanted to write one. The whole situation surrounding Macro Cosmos (a company that I keep forgetting the name of because it wasn’t mentioned until the end) makes a bit more sense to me now than when I originally finished due to reading someone else’s explanation of how Rose was a PokéVillain who had already won by the time the story starts, given that he owns and controls everything in Galar (literally, he controls the very energy they need to keep the lights on and their houses warm), and so what he does is more about maintaining that (thousands of years into the future?) than anything else. Which I get, but . . . it still makes his actual actions and motivations feel weak and poorly explained.

But despite that, as well as a few other flaws (the annoying enemy characters in the postgame, the fact that Marnie was TRAGICALLY underused), I actually did enjoy it. Despite my disdain for organized sports in real life, I liked that the Gym Challenge was set up as a tournament in which your rivals participated (and that there were many other participants, too) because finally it felt like there was a reason to go after the badges, versus doing it just because the Gyms were there and you wanted to become Champion for no reason. The fact that more and more NPCs started to take notice of you as you progressed as well is another thing I liked. Although I hated that we couldn’t customize the Gym uniform (it’s so ugly!!), I did like having a personal number (mine is 494---Victini’s National Dex number), as well as the fact that it was yet another way for the fans in the game to identify you. Not only that, but having your rivals be fellow competitors in the Gym Challenge was also a nice touch. Sure, Hop was yet another hometown friend, but the others were just fellow competitors that took notice of you, and I really enjoyed that.

Speaking of Hop and the other rivals, the characters were, I felt, by and large another improvement over Kalos and Alola games. Aside from the antagonists in the postgame (who were poorly designed and also terribly annoying), as well as Gym Leader Gordie, there aren’t any characters that I really disliked, and in fact, I found the development for most of the major ones (in particular Sonia, Bede, and even Hop) to be pretty good.

A bit more detail on that: 

Sonia: Honestly, Sonia is probably my favorite character from these games (although Marnie is a close second). I am absolutely surprised by her and how much I came to love her considering I wasn’t too interested in her before the game was actually in my hands. Sonia is set up as being a twenty-something-year-old who fancies herself her grandmother’s assistant, but honestly is just kind of languishing at the beginning of the game and doesn’t really have a clear goal---to the point where her grandmother boots her out and makes her travel the region exploring the history to learn more about the Dynamax phenomenon. (And yes, Sonia is definitely in her twenties; both she and Leon refer to themselves as adults, and these games were created in Japan, where the age of adulthood is 20. So while we don’t know their exact age, we know they’re at least over 20.) Sonia is a little miffed about this at first, but as the story goes on she becomes more and more interested in and passionate about her studies, which culminates in Professor Magnolia passing the lab coat over to her. And it was at that point I realized: Although Professor Magnolia is the official professor at the start of the game, the fact that she has absolutely no impact on the game whatsoever (or at least very minimal impact) is because the real professor of the game is Sonia. We interact with her regularly, she helps compile information about what’s going on with regards to the game’s main plot, she guides and influences both the player character and Hop, and ultimately she comes to realize her own goal and dreams. The fact that an adult character in these games got to have an arc like this---one where she wasn’t sure what to do with herself at first, but came to find her own dream and take over the lab---was absolutely wonderful to me, an adult player. Sonia was definitely a refreshing character for the series and I was so, so proud of her when she finally got her lab coat, found her goal, and started living her best life. Sonia’s brilliant and I’m a huge fan.

Hop: On a personal, personality-level, I find Hop to be kind of annoying. He’s the type of person who would wear me out quickly in real life, and I honestly would have preferred if the primary rival was Marnie instead of him (since I feel him eating up so much screentime is part of why Marnie got shafted---but more on that later). But that said, I feel like Hop was Hau done right, that his character arc was well-written, and I love that we see him finally step out of the shadows and find his own path at the end of the postgame story. Hop, like Hau, has a famous relative that he looks up to and wants to surpass one day. But Hop, unlike Hau, also takes his training seriously from the start, struggles and shifts through various strategies as he tries to figure out what it is that he should do rather than just sticking to the same thing and hoping that it produces a different result, and ultimately concludes that he can do something different with his life, that he can change fields and make a name for himself his own way, without having to live up to expectations of what others think of him, or what his brother has done. While Hop resembles past rivals in the series in various ways (e.g. Barry’s impatience, Hau’s famous relative), he also sets himself apart by having a clear and defined character growth arc, culminating in his capture of the other mascot legendary and his newly appointed position as Sonia’s research assistant. I’m not personally a big fan of Hop’s, but as a character I think he was well done and I don’t dislike him either. At the very least, he easily tramples all of Kalos’ rivals (not that that’s hard, since the Kalos Friend Group is the most annoying set of rivals the series has ever seen), and I like him more than Hau as well. (The fact that Hop doesn’t delegitimize child abuse the way Hau does in USUM is a big point in his favor.)

Bede: On the other hand, I love everything about this little shithead. I love that we finally, FINALLY have a jerkass rival for the first time since Gen IV. I love that even after his character development (which he gets!) he doesn’t stop being a jerkass, he just becomes slightly less of one. (Very slightly.) While it was touched upon only a little, I like that the reason why he’s such a little asshole is because of how Rose and Oleana were using him (Oleana is the one that gets blamed, but it was Rose who gave Bede his first pokémon and endorsed him, and then later in Hulbury acted like he didn’t even know who Bede was, thereby implying that Bede feels that he has to work extra hard to gain Rose’s approval and attention), and that once he was taken in by a good guardian (Opal), he improved not only as a trainer, but as a person. It was so great to see Bede finally happy near the end of the game, once Opal took him in, and also great that even though he was a little shit to everyone around him, he also treated his pokémon well (and thus wasn’t a “he’s an asshole so he uses his pokémon as tools!” type). Bede’s great. I love Bede.

Marnie: I also love Marnie, though as I’ve said numerous times, she was critically underused. Despite the fact that her older brother is a Gym Leader, Marnie has pretty much no impact on the plot, barely shows up at all, doesn’t appear in the postgame story at all (even though she’s a Gym Leader now!), and overall feels like she’s just sort of . . . there. This frustrates me not only because I love what little we do see of her (the fact that she has a south London accent is already a huge plus in her favor, along with her design, battle music, and overall character), but because I feel this happens all-too often with female rivals in Pokémon games. Granted, it’s not like we have a surplus; aside from the opposite-gender player rivals, the only dedicated female rivals we have in the entire series apart from Marnie are Bianca and Shauna (because given that Lillie doesn’t battle for the majority of the story, she does not count as a rival). Shauna, like all the rivals in XY, has an ineffective, weak team and doesn’t really accomplish anything at any point. And while Bianca’s team is fantastic and she does end up becoming Professor Juniper’s assistant in the second game, in the first game she’s sidelined after her Munna gets stolen and spends the rest of the game with her spirit broken as a result of it (which, IMO, is the one being flaw in BW’s otherwise excellent storytelling). So to get another dedicated female rival, only to have her barely be involved in the plot at all and not really go through any meaningful development is incredibly disappointing. If there is a follow-up game to the Galar games, I hope Marnie gets more to do. (And as a side note, Team Yell is in a similar situation to Macro Cosmos; it honestly feels like they only exist because Game Freak feels they have to have an “evil team” at this point, much like Skull in the last gen.)

This is long, and also it’s almost 3am and I’m tired, so rather than typing up blurbs for all the other characters, I’ll just give short lists:

Other characters I loved: Nessa, Kabu, Bea, Opal, Raihan

Characters that were OK but had certain things about them that were off-putting to me: Leon, Chairman Rose, Oleana

Characters I’m completely ambivalent about: Professor Magnolia, Milo

Characters I hated: Gordie, the Sword and Shield brothers I’m not even going to bother to remember their names because they were that fucking stupid

And that’s it, I’m going to go see if I can sleep now.