#when i manage to leave florida im going to work so hard to get a job with whatever state i end up moving too

[stew-chan]

having a few days off work and already my sense of time has slowed down so much

before I felt like weekends passed so quickly. I'd wake up make breakfast and spend the day playing games and before I knew it it'd be Monday again.

today I slept in, made coffee, played some games, read 100 pages in a novel, put air in my tires, played some games, built a mini, watched half a season of a TV show, played some more games, cooked dinner, and I've still got like an hour and some change til my usual weekend bed time

idk not having to spend 9hrs a day at work then all my time not at work preparing for work 5days a week really just made my time feel a lot slower and lets me be significantly more productive and healthy and happy. I've got time to go on walks, visit my doctor to get paperwork, drive all over town and it won't even take half my day it's wild

it's really gonna suck to have to go back after this. I can't even image how de-stressed I'd be if we Americans had vacation time like Europeans do. like..... a whole month off work...... every year..... holy shit......

[ilysamwinchesteer]

Chapter 1 Rosekiller fic

I might quit this fic but if anyone actually wants to read it i'll keep it!

"Bartemius!"

A loud noise coming from downstairs is how I start my morning. I groan and check the time.

11:23. That's not bad.

I was having one of my weird dreams last night. The ones that are actually memories of my own life that I don't remember. There are a lot of things from my childhood that I don't remember but for some reason they come back out when i'm dreaming.

I lift myself out of bed, whimpering slightly as I adjust to my newly aqquired headache I usually get after the dreams. This one wasn't so bad; it was of my friends and I playing at the playground back in our old city when we were all about 10, where my family used to live before we moved from Chicago to Florida. 

Why we moved, you may ask. Well, my father, Bartemius Crouch Sr, asshole rich lawyer, got a new job as a private defense lawyer at this fancy new office. So, now i'm here in Florida, thousands of miles away from my family and friends, not like they'd want to see me anyway. The new school year is starting in approximately 3 weeks, leaving me just enough time to get to know the area and prepare for my new school. 

Last night, my father and I finally got here and started to unpack. Well, I unpacked. He immediately left to go visit the office, even though it was 10 at night. I spent the next 3 hours unpacking everything I could until I found my room and fell asleep.

"BARTEMIUS CROUCH!!"

My fathers booming voice interrupts my thoughts. I scurry out of bed and go down the stairs. My father is an average man with a slightly muscular build, greying hair, and dark cruel eyes that seem like black holes if you look at them too long. He basically lives in his work clothes, a simple grey suit. He's always been so simple and bland, like a white canvas painted grey. He hates anything different and disposes change.

 I, on the other hand, am anything other than basic or bland. Frankly, I dress like any 15 year old would, but he can never see past my shaggy hair and multi colored eyes. I go down the stairs, wearing what i've been wearing since the flight here, a band tee shirt, a pair of ratty old jeans  (even thought with my dads job we can afford new ones), and my pair of busted up converse. Since I haven't changed or showered yet and refuse to accept new clothes bought by my dads fancy ass lawyer money, I probably look like shit right now. 

I imagine what I look like, dark brown hair, long enough to cover my eyes, my wild eyes, long white scars covering both my wrists, walking down the stairs at the slowest pace you can imagine. I enjoy pissing off my dad in small ways like this, it's the least I can do considering he's beaten me since I was 6. Doing small things to make him mad is like my silent form of retaliation.

As I come down the stairs, im immediately greeted by my dads angry face followed a harsh lecture in Spanish about time management and the fact that i'm a useless piece of shit that can even finish unpacking on time. His words, not mine. 

I stay silent the whole time, too

tired to talk back like I usually do. He takes my silence as "attitude" and slaps me hard in the face. As I put my hand to cover my reddening cheek my dad walks away, seemingly satisfied. 

"Hijo de puta." I mumble under my breath, not stupid enough to anger him more. 

He must've had a difficult day at work if he's acting extra irritable, but he was only there 5 hours and it's the first day. He's never made much sense to me. All I know is that although he hates it here because of our past here, he still took the job and I know that he apparently already hates it. I also know that we've only moved here, to where we lived before my mother died, because of the "incident."

Lastly, I know that in a couple days I'm going to some fancy rich people party we were invited to, a party where Regulus Black will be, my child best friend. 

Welcome to Florida, Barty, he thinks to himself, wallowing in self pity as he trudges towards the rest of the boxes so he can finish the job he was assigned.

I suppose this is what I deserve after doing something stupid like attempting suicide and failing it, I though to myself as I finished unpacking. It didn't take long, only an hour. Now I need to figure out what I want to do today.

As I head past the mirror in the hallway, I notice something. I wince slightly as I put a hand to my bruised cheek. Fuck. I head upstairs to grab my phone, headphones, and a box of cigarettes I hid underneath my bed in my small blue box of things I can't have my dad finding. 

I head out the door with no destination in mind. Popping in an earbud, I hit shuffle on my playlist.

I tried to laugh about it

Cover it all up with lies

I tried to laugh about it

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'Cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

As I walk, I notice that people are looking at me. At first I wonder if they see my scars, but remember that i'm wearing a long sleeve shirt. Then I remember the bruise on my cheek. Oh. I forgot about that.

Suddenly self conscious, I slouch into myself, hoping to become less noticeable. I retreat into a nearby alleyway, hoping to get a smoke in. Just as I light my cigarette, I hear a smooth voice coming from further down the alley.

[obsessioncest]

Stella Pines

(picrew link: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1469769)

my dearest darling girlie stella! now im gonna tell you all about her

she ran away from home when she was like. 4. there was a housefire it was a whole ordeal all that matters is she became feral at a Very Young Age

honestly not sure where she's from originally but i like to imagine its far as fuck from oregon bc that is so funny. florida girl travels across the entire continental united states in 5 years starting at age 4. obviously. also shes got florida vibes

when she was 6 ish she was in the Deep Woods and found a small forgotten graveyard that had One Singular Ghost. this One Singular Ghost happens to have been a feral child as well who went on to become an assassin in her adulthood. the One Singular Ghost (whos name is val thank you very much) sees herself in this child so she decides to PUT herself in this child. val kinda imbues her with her Ghost Essence which 1. fucks with her morality (assassin) 2. gives her a few skills that you would NOT expect a feral kid to know (assassin) and 3. makes her even more feral than she already was (feral Ghost Essence layered on top of an already feral child. feral squared. supernatural levels of feral.). val then fucks off into the Great Beyond since making a Ghost Curse is basically all she wanted to do and so now her unfinished business is done

this Ghost Curse also makes her. visibly not quite human. most people assume she's just albino and she lets them believe that but her hair is WHITE white. bone white almost. and she's fairly sure that albino humans have BLUE eyes, not red

with this newly acquired Ghost Curse our favorite Currently Nameless Feral Child is able to fuck around and find out all the way across the country much easier than she had been, and when she's 9, she finds herself in Gravity Falls.

she lives with the gnomes for a hot minute. they vibe. honestly might have stayed there if it wasn't for stan

stan! stan finds her in the woods one day when he's out doing stuff and he's like oh. That Is A Whole Child. well i can't just leave her here after several weeks of effort he manages to lure her into the mystery shack with promises of beef jerky. the plan WAS cps but its like the cat distribution system. once the creature is Within Your Home, they're yours now and you've just got to deal

finally he accepts that he has a daughter now and so he tries to figure out what her name is. he gives up on that pretty quick and just starts reading names from a baby name book until he finds one she won't bite him for

That Name Is Stella

after that he calls in a quick favor and is able to get fake documents officially saying that stella is His Biologically and her mother is just from vegas and she died don't look too much into it Just File The Paperwork Don't Make This Difficult

that gets worked out quickly. Gravity Falls doesn't like to ask questions.

stan TRIES to keep the portal stuff a secret but stella has an Assassin Ghost Curse and does not understand the concept of boundaries. after around 2 years she has ALL the details and keeps TRYING to help but stan keeps RUDELY keeping her out of the basement. finally shes like okay fine. see if i care. im going to help you whether you like it or not its just a matter of how hard you make it

she isnt very successful

eventually she becomes friends with wendy even though stella is 4 years older bc Gravity Falls is severely lacking in people her age

she's 19 when dipper and mabel arrive for the summer and does a lot of work in the gift shop or she's just kinda fucked off into the woods doing shit

when she ISNT working or fucked off doing shit she tends to hang with the twins and they both are able to tell that Something Isn't Right. at this point Gravity Falls is just used to it but dipper is concerned and figuring out her deal is definitely on his List Of Things To Do This Summer. mabel wants stella to teach her her ways

when ford finally comes out of the portal stellas initially excited because Thats Her Uncle/Dad's Crush! but then ford is an asshole and so stellas like oh okay fuck that then. Guard Dog Mode Activate.

she does lay off of ford after weirdmaggedon though and by the time ford and stan work out their Various Tensions she's fully onboard the Stancest Train

as soon as they get together she switches from calling him uncle ford to calling him pops. hes not the stepdad hes the dad that stepped up

fun facts!

she keeps in contact with the gnomes. they have bingo nights every other tuesday. This Is A Very Important Fact.

she has literally never told anybody what her life was like before stan. people dont ask too often because they all THINK she just lived in vegas with her mom but when people who know better than to believe that ask, she gives a different answer every. single. time. it's been 10 years so thats kinds of impressive tbh

dipper has made it his life mission to Figure Out Her Shit. it was kind of like "what the fuck" to "oh okay i'm starting to learn more, surely i will eventually find an answer here" to "what the fuck"

fords is the same way. dipper🤝ford = What The Fuck Is Happening Here Why Is Everybody Acting Like This Is Normal

EXCLUSIVELY dresses in red black and white. will wear literally nothing else.

has never once cut her hair and doesn't plan to ever start

If I Can't Have My Own Claws And Fangs Then I Shall Make Myself Pokey In Other Ways

that flower was a gift from mabel :)

[pwblogarchive]

June 2005

June 1, 2005

Lets make a mixed cd.

Songs to listen to when you're alone:

Smoking popes "pretty pathetic"

Imogen heap "hide and seek"

Elliot smith "a fond farewell"

Get up kids "valentine"

Bright eyes "lua"

Joy division "ice age...."

Kent "if I was there"

Motion city soundtrack "everything is alright"

Morissey "the more you ignore me..."

Now its overhead "with a subtle look"

Saves the day "blindfolded"

The smiths "unloveable"

The smiths "asleep"

The weakerthans "left and leaving"

Coldplay "trouble"

American nightmare "we are"

Damnation ad "no more dreams"

The cure "why can't I be you"

Dan andriano "lucky smoke rings"

Nick drake "pink moon"

Burn. And play. Repeat play.

In the dark.

June 4, 2005

things you may or may not know about our experience at trl:

fat joe is awesome. he is one of the few "celebrities" that we have ever met that has no attitude. he goofed around with us and told us a bunch of hilarious stories. he is what you wished you were only bigger and funnier, trust us.

it was really hot there.

we have yet to meet a camera man that knows how to film fall out boy. we were doing lots of stuff on stage that they completely missed. next time maybe they'll catch on.

we saw some footage that mtv shot of "sugar we're going down" for fall out boy makes the video (Mtv2). it will make you laugh at pete and dirty literally stealing a golf cart and driving it into a tree at full speed.

pete is constantly sick. possibly because he jumps in pools full of staph infection or possibly because he never sleeps. we're not sure. he did a sick cannonball today, again too bad the camera missed that one. though we are pretty sure that the vj vanessa loved the gross wet hug he gave her when he got out of the pool.

our guitar tech eric the cowboy and soundguy Dad did a trl "shout out" during kelly clarkson for our tourmonkey Dirty. it was the best part about trl.

we think this is the first time Lifetime and The Descendents were namedropped on TRL, that makes us proud. now go buy their cds.

we recommend that you do not put all of your money on red or black. its just not worth it.

the "i heart revenge" shirt. will be available from clandestine this summer.

patrick gets sunburned in approximately one second.

panic! at the discman's new songs are amazing. pink was the new black then black was the new black now panic at the disco is the new black.

fall out boy is always gonna be just a band that started in joe's attic. we got the world fooled on TRL, thanks for being in on the secret with us. keep up the calling!

thanks for making it all possible.

now back to crankcalling dirty.

June 8, 2005

Florida is hot. That's all I have to say. The humidity makes it hard to breathe. I wanted to thank everyone for remembering my birthday. And kimber thanks for the bday slipandslide but joe decided he liked it more than me so he took it. Maybe hell let me use it on warped with him, hehe. Besides I like joe. The hardrock show was actually a lot of fun... We're going home to try and work up some new stuff to play on warped. Post what new songs you guys want to hear the most and we'll work on them. Oh yeah we got all new merch for warped and all new clandestine stuff too...

For those of you voting on trl. We heard that the whole last week was pretaped. So don't give up hope!!

Real enrty later when I'm not so tired. Nice to see all your pretty faces all over again.

June 10, 2005

the boy kings-

you guys did it. i dont really understand how we managed to but we beat out 50cent and made it to number 9 on trl countdown. pinch myself. yep. im still me and my mom is still yelling at me to clean my room. damnit i thought being on trl would make me instantly awesomer.... in any news we have some cool cover songs we're working on for comps and we're practicing for warped you know- sitting with out guitars in a sauna for 12 hours a day. it gets kind of gross. wait did i thank you for your undying support for us. all the other bands on TRL are three times the size of fall out boy and our fans alone are dedicated to call and work to get us on there. it honestly made me shiver when i saw that. lets keep it going up the countdown- show them what this is about! please call again tommorrow, phones are worth more than the net! the info is on the front page. back to the sauna for me. me and patrick are sweating out new songs as we speak. hope to see chicago kids at the gym class show on sunday! and we have some awesome stuff planned for everyone real soon...

hey S.O.'s i been seeing you at shows. it makes me swoon.

truefuckinglove peter

06/10/05

question

Dear Pete, or whoever decides to answer this question..well or not answer…my friend megan says that if you listen to XO with just the right side of headphones theres no music so it sounds like Patrick is singing in her ear just for her…and i agree….try it sometome

answer

how about this. when i want patrick to sing in my ear i call him on the phone and he does it… boo and yah. oops. yeah i do that sometimes.

June 13, 2005

i'll be your number 9 with a bullet.

thanks for getting us on trl again!!! they changed the time of trl for summer. can you tell how suprised the vj's are that we keep getting on? its so amazing. keep it up. they changed the voting time to 1:30-2:00pm EST... so check it out earlier now. check out how to vote on the front page.

more s(w)oon.

XO

06/13/05

question

Does Patrick have a nickname? If so what is it?

answer

rickster. von stump. sophmore strump. winchester snomp, lunchbox. cookie jar. healthbar. rick ta life. patty boy. dont ever call him these. they are mine.

June 14, 2005

dear diary,

how did we get here. i'm not even sure.

thank god that the man who wrote Thriller is free. bring back the hits please, i'm dying.

summers not what it used to be.

the first kiss (off).

we leave for new york in moments. i'm a mess. nothings really going as planned in good ways and in bad ways.

thank you for the number seven, even if we are the "fall out boyS"

to the falloutBoy kings

ps. new summer line over at www.clandestineindustries.com - which includes more girls stuff, the bleach series based off of the story the count of monte cristo and some shirts designed exclusively for patrick.

June 14, 2005

her dad was a cook.

more like a chemist.

now he's doing time for burning down a shack out in the woods.

she gets her affection through two inch bulletproof glass two weekends a month, when her mother will drive her out there.

her hair is nosebleed red kinda funny in the way she always has the sniffles too, but you wouldn't laugh out loud, just in your head.

but me i'm brave, but in the boy next door kind of way. gone wrong ofcourse.

she says her family used to ski in vail.

i'm thinking this is a thinly veiled code for something about drugs but i'm not sure.

someone should wipe that smile off of her face.

someone should tell her that she's a terminal case and ruin her day.

not me, you know i'm kinda too into her.

it's the kind of conversation i'd engage behind cigarette smoke late at night with someone else.

she's like exposed brick. its not really as classy as people in manhattan apartments will tell you.

she always talks my ear off.

telling me amazing stories from the middle of nowhere.

i can hear the crickets chirping.

and the tumbleweeds blowing.

like how the 92 flood of mississippi was so bad that the water went into graveyards and she saw coffins floating down the street on the news.

peaceful resting place.

when we walk into a casino in vegas she tells me how they pump oxygen through the vents to keep people from feeling tired. how they make them like a maze around the casino floor so you can't find exits. how they keep the drinks coming for free. how everything is inclusive, you can get whatever you need, so you won't leave. she tells you to notice how there isn't anywhere to sit down except in front of a slot machine. she tells you it's just to get you to keep gambling.

as if it't a conspiracy.

just so you know she also calls tornados: twisters. and she's been in too many to count.

today she said the sky looked too nice, "it just isn't right".

we have patchwork afternoons like this.

just sewn together but not really matching.

we would if we could though. just coming apart at the seams and thats what's so attractive about eachother.

we could beat this rap. we could change your mind about us. we could live through this.

we just don't want to.

fuck your futures.

- petey

06/14/05 Q&A

question

Hypothetically asking, Ok, what if one day you woke up and Patrick was not there. Would you be worried?

answer

it would make me want to disappear to wherever he was.

06/16/05

question

How does patrick sing the emotion in the songs that u (pete) wrote.. Do you have to explain it to him or does he just know?

answer

me and patrick can finish eachothers sentences. this is what makes it so funny when people ask us if we care that you think the the other one is hotter or cooler, or how much everyone makes a big deal about who writes what or is where in photos. we don’t care. that kid is my best friend and the rest of the world could blow up and fall out boy can break up and he still will be.

June 16, 2005

I am glad today is over. We drove around nyc on a double decker bus and then recorded a cover song for a video game. A lot of things kind of were blown out of proportion today. But then I got to hear the new kanye west record and meet him. I realize no matter where our record is, hiphop guys like him are so much cooler than I will ever be. Oh well.

Number 5 is unbelieveable. Honestly I looked at my tv screen and was baffled. There aren't words... You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter how bad things get.

June 18, 2005

best in show, worst in. love. with you. spent the day rehearsing warped tour. getting in the swing. so happy tonight in the perfect weather with friends from: from first to last, underoath and matchbookromance. we're a gang. get into it. this summer is going to be okay i think. really excited to play again tommorrow. come and find me (out). pick me out of a hat, pull me out of your sleeve. im lucky, but you're the luckiest. you guys bring a smile to my face when i see all of your silly questions. keep voting at TRL- it's definitely suprising some people over at Mtv!

www.clandestineindustries.com

XO

ps J. - BenFolds "the luckiest"

June 20, 2005

haiku for you...

moonlit blues dimming

veins full of point fives and ones

turning my head off

just watch my mind run

over by the ambulance

side effect lover

- petey

June 21, 2005

I love summer in the midwest. Sunsets are the best. We love the number five. Thanks for voting on trl. Mtv is super suprised that we keep beating out 50cent and shakira. Thank you for your support. Its pretty exciting for us and is worth more than you could know. Please Keep voting... The info is in the news. First day off on warped tour and goddamn I miss it. Comeback forever.

Btw we love ap.net and jared kaufman so whoever said otherwise has got their stories mixed up.

Watch: the notebook. Get in touch with you cliched romantic side.

Listen: frou frou "letgo" cause theirs beauty in the breakdown.

Truelove.

See you on warped tour. Come over and say hey.

June 22, 2005

Warped tour is so hot. I've been eating icees and popsicles like they are going out of style. I love all the smiling, sunburned faces. Number three on TRL? This blew everyone away. We thought we might make it out on there but never guessed we could have gotten that far up. We talked about it all night on the bus. We have to find a way to repay you guys, something special. We're coming up with some ideas, just to let you guys know how much your support means. Stay tuned for that. Keep voting if you can. Otherwise go outside and play in the sun. We've been hangng with mcr and fftl a lot, teaching them how to go outside before it gets dark. Its funny.

Xo

June 23, 2005

From the bottom of our blackened hearts. Thank you for making us number one on trl. Its hotter than hell in dallas right now and we want to go to a waterpark. Koreantom cruise isn't helping it go down though.

We always knew how you felt. Now the world knows.

Honestly. Beaming from cheek to cheek.

June 25, 2005

lovers. from room 911 of a holiday inn next to the warped tour in houston. i apologize for being out of touch. the internet is not easy to come by here. i hate the sun. it seems to hate me as well. but i love being on Warped tour. been hanging with lots of old friends and some new ones too, definitely talking about some upcoming tours.

after seeing us as number one on TRL i was reminded of something that happened to me on last years Warped tour. I was standing in line for catering where all the bands eat and happened to bump into a member of a huuuuuuge punk rock band that i will not mention. i felt dumb and said i was sorry. but for whatever reason the guy didn’t like how i looked or like my band or whatever and said “you shouldn’t even bother wait in line to eat, you don’t deserve to be on the warped tour and you’ll always be a second stage band”. it made me feel like shit. i left the line and just started walking away to be on my own. as i did, someone from another equally huge punk band ran over and said “fuck that shit. get back in line”. and i mumbled something about feeling sorry for myself. and he said

fuck that. lets just say that you are a second stage band for the rest of your life. could you look in the mirror and love what you did?”. and i thought about it. and i came to terms with it. now this isn’t something where i’m trying to rub anything in anyones face. in fact its quite the opposite. i realized that i loved our band no matter what happened to it. if youve seen the movie rushmore you know what i mean when i say “fall out boy is my rushmore”. its the only thing i have really believed in, in a long time. it makes my heart beat. playing the songs makes me feel alive. yeah, i come off as depressed and blue all the time, but the stage washes that all away. whether we are number one on TRL or not even on Mtv.

that all being said. i was talking on IM with a kid the other day when we were number two and she said “don’t worry, we’ll get you to number 1”. it seems like such a simple thing but it almost made me cry. a fan who cares enough about me and every member of this band to feel like they owe it to bring us to number one. like they were paying us back. it made my day. i can’t tell you the gasp i felt when we heard the news. we figured taking off 25 percent on our merch store isn’t alot to do but it’s the best we could think of. soooo again Thank you!!! every single person who ever believed in us was vindicated in that moment. you shook the world alittle bit, but it was amazing. please keep it up.

bring your sunblock and water, and maybe a couple of yellow flowers.

xo

06/25/05 Q&A

answer

“kisses on the necks of just friends” kinda sexy dont you think. like if my friend was say william beckett that would be really sexy.

question

id just like to clarify that no one could pull off sideburns like patrick, i mean cmon, whats wrong with you people?..oh and pete, hows it going?

June 26, 2005

Warped tour is hottness. As are you.

Also, we have noticed a crazy amount of fake myspace accounts for each of us. NONE of us a personal myspace account.

We have also noticed a lot of people selling our autographs online. Don't support this. We promise that you can get our autographs at shows. Don't waste your money online. We will however later on this summer be putting some items that you cannot get anymore from early in our career as a band on ebay as a charity for our friend andrew from something corporate. So keep your eyes open.

Thanx love.

June 28, 2005

Amazing new mexico sunset. I'm hanging on a bridge with my friend mikey way from my chem. Its all orange and pink above us. We went to another waterpark again. I love high fives again. Totally back in love. Saw the most amazing movie... I think its called spirited away. Watch it.

Oh yeah. Keep voting. Kelly clarkson fans think they're better than ours. It kinda gave us a chuckle. For real. Total hiphop beef. We've got our money on you guys. Keep the votes up! You guys are amazing. Hugs and highfives forever.

Peterpan

06/30/05 Q&A

question

hey pete, do you belive in god? and congrats to you guys for being on TRL so long. and one more thing when are you guys coming to San Antonio again last time you guys came it was my sisters b-day. Bye, Sami

answer

im not sure what i believe. i would like to believe that there is something bigger making all these coincidences happen. i want to not be alone.

question

how come that me and my friend voted two hundred times in two days to beat strung out ass in the energizer contest and you didnt play ten more minutes in montreal by the way im glad you have come here and the show rocked

answer

i dunno. we didn’t get the extra ten minutes.

question

did mikey rub it in your face that they were number 1 on trl on friday?

answer

me and mikey are in a gang called the sweet little dudes. there is no competition. we are happy when our friends are doing well.

question

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I sing your songs in my head to fall back asleep, what do you do to go back to sleep?

answer

i put on the new panic at the disco record.

question

what do you do when your becoming something you hate and you never wont to be. Please help me. Brittany

answer

its never too late to turn it all around. thats the best thing about being alive.

question

Do you think if some big fan at warped tour just randonmly came up and humped Andys leg do you think he would care?

answer

nah andy is pretty easy going.

question

Pete, is it true that you dont drink alcohol

answer

only xmolotovcoktailsx

question

hey pete, who came up with the idea for the flipbook album edition thing? cause its awsome

answer

the rats that live inside my brain.

question

Patrick and Andy are so sexy!

answer

true.

question

Peter, what is up with the sudden emo scented journal entries. i mean, i /we just dont want you to be sad anymore. ::internet hugs::

answer

im just being a baby.

[fumingspice]

guardians

original work! im bored to death and i have nothing much to do so i guess maybe i could post this and see if people like it or not. mallorie whyte is sarah paulson 🤜👱🏻‍♀️

01 | oakwood academy

october 24th 2022

eli, ma. andromadex

-Madison

THE FINAL WORDS that Madison's stepmother Inez had jokingly yelled out the car window at her before she sped off to work were fairly sticking with her all throughout the day. She had driven at neck-breaking speed as she often had a habit of doing, and then braked so hard that she probably would have given any other passenger in the car a pretty bad whiplash, which Madison was convinced that Inez is immune to it by now, and then rolled down her window and told her; "y’know, if you want to actually make some friends you should really quit acting so bitchy."

Mind you, this was after she had gone on at her for days on end about being herself.

Madison was not opposed to making friends at this school. She wanted to. It's just so difficult when the fantastic, gold-crested reputation of your parents follows you around everywhere you go, and it's even worse when everyone else in your school completely matches that reputation.

To her, there's nothing worse than extra-cred class. She could promise you that. Especially when there are only fifteen more minutes left of the school day until the school bell rang sweet salvation and the students were released from the clutches school for another day. The classroom was decorated in crisp oranges, reds, yellows and browns; and the smothering scent of the ten-plus pumpkin spice candles could probably be smelt from miles away.

Madison's teacher, Ms. DuBois, was from Salem, and she loved nothing more than talking about witches in Salem. DuBois continued to rattle on about the executions that took place during the Salem Witch Trials of 1692- and since they were in Eli and not Salem, Madison could not fathom a single plausible reason as to why her extra-cred class had decided to adopt the Salem Witch Trials.

Oakwood Academy, Madison's new school, had managed to work its way to having one of the top academic records in America by providing an extra area of study for every year that a student attended. It was just one of the classes that would act as a "relaxer" for the workload that the Academy dumped on their students. They allocated five sets of twenty-five students to five different classes. For example; her older brother was allocated into a class that studied some of history's most famous serial criminals. The girl had been hit with a low-key pang of jealousy when she looked at his workbook, but she would never admit that.

Serial killer documentaries from Buzzfeed Unsolved was for her what World War II was to her brother Tiano.

Halfway through the class, Madison decided that Ms DuBois' babbles were nothing more than folklore and legends. There is no possible way that witches could exist, and even if they did; they would have become so sparsely spread out throughout the centuries that bloodlines would have become diluted into non-existence.

Madison had finally just about given up listening, getting ready to switch to her earphones when DuBois began talking about Gwendoline Proctor and Marie-Anne Dufosett. Judging by the amount of borderline useless word scrambles and pop quizzes that she had been bombarded with since August in which their names had popped up in, this would no doubt be just as bleak as the rest of the topic.

"Marie-Anne Dufosett was burned at the stake along with her mother and some other accused women-"

Well, that's just peachy.

"-However, does anybody know who accused Mademoiselle Dufosett of Witchcraft and Conspiring with the Devil?"

A few hands shot up. Oh, great, Madison thought, another room full of Hocus Pocus lovers.

DuBois picked on a boy at the back of the room wearing a black turtleneck underneath his blazer. "Perrone Goguillon," he answered.

Well, at least I know that instead of how to pay taxes.

Ms DuBois clapped her hands together and was about to praise him when Madison poked her head up and blurted out, "who in fresh hell is Peregrine Goujon?" The class burst into a peal of abrupt laughter and her face flashed a red that was possibly close to her burgundy uniform.

DuBois waited patiently for the laughter to die down, giving Madison a well-intended smile. She'd been trying to pry Madison out of her shell for weeks. "Miss Delvaux, I'm so happy that we've finally been graced with your conscious presence," she said. "Perrone Goguillon was one of the last witches to burnt at the stake in France."

What has that got to do with Salem?

There was a pause.

Turtleneck Boy piped up yet again. "Wasn't Perrone Marie-Anne's mother?"

Ms DuBois nodded, what followed probably should have been a moment for shock factor was cut short by Madison's unimpressive comment of; "Sounds like someone gained some serious mommy-issues."

Apart from a few smirks and sniggers, the room stayed in a star awkward silence. It was that moment when Madison had realised that making fun of witches in this classroom was possibly as close as you could get to treason.

The bell finally rang out before Madison could embarrass herself any further. She pulled on her coat and started speed-walking to get out of the school. She found listening to Toxic by Britney Speers always made her faster.

The crisp Massachusetts air stung at her cheeks hard, nipping at them until they were a hard red. The leaves crunched with a prominent sound and the wind blew quite fiercely. She hated fall- she missed the sweet Florida summer and sunshine that she had become so accustomed to. She missed splashing about in their swimming pool with her friends, sitting on her boyfriend's shoulders and having matches of pool basketball. They could get very competitive and Madison was certainly no stranger to having her head pushed underwater for the sake of one of her friends scoring a goal.

Her family had just moved to Massachusetts for her stepmother's work, as they often had moved around for that reason numerous times in the past. Inez worked with companies that were hanging on the edge of bankruptcy. A quick call to her office and she would work on the case as soon as possible. Most cases she could work on from home or online, but every few years a huge opportunity or promotion would come up that would require a move. It was always worth it. Inez was a wizard with a logbook and her incredible finances knowledge; she would advise the company and work with as many people as possible to save the company and boost its profits massively. 

The job also came with a pretty hefty paycheck. Inez had been in Madison's life for as long as the girl could recall memory.

Now that the latest- and hopefully final- addition to the Delvaux family had come, Madison's father spent most of his time at home taking care of baby Thomas. In contrast to Inez, Madison's father came from a long line of "old" money; decades ago, his family was incredibly wealthy Franco-Belgian gold merchants, owning around 40% of the most flourishing gold mines in Belgium and France of which together bestowed them with a huge amount of the finest Belgian gold. Although the number of which lowered to about 750 tons of gold, the family net worth was still well into the billions.

Madison's father broke away from the complete gold-mine owning tradition and earned a job as a professor of physics in certain prestigious colleges across the country, although, there were still plenty of goldmines still to his name.

However, despite their needless fortune, most of the family, along with Inez, managed to stay incorrupt, helping to build many schools, hospitals and jobs in developing countries and donating thousands of millions of dollars to charities, side-lining with the Delvaux-Proveux Foundation to help create a better society with whatever difference they could cause.

Her parents did their best to remain humble- which sometimes proved itself difficult when the next five generations of their family could probably eat from solid gold plates if they chose to.

Needless to say, they spent only what they needed to, didn't exploit their riches, lived in the slightly more luxurious suburban homes. Madison was sent to Oakwood Academy; possibly the most unnecessarily expensive school in the north-east of America along with her adopted older brother Tiano and her adopted little sister Safina; the second youngest, Aleja went to an elementary not far from their home, and baby Thomas just did his best not to poop his pants straight after his diaper had been changed. Madison was convinced he did his best to poop at the worst possible time.

The house they had recently moved into was a beautiful country mansion, overlooking a lake and meadows, the balcony that showed a complete view of the landscape was perhaps Madison's favourite part of the house- apart from her bed of course.

She walked briskly up the pathway leading to the front door, doing her best to not show that she was absolutely freezing to death despite the massive coat. No sooner had she got in the door that she turned the heater on full blast and ran upstairs, diving into her bed.

Inconveniently, she was now too warm.

Madison rolled her eyes and then rolled out of bed with a slight thud, ran downstairs, lowered the heating, then ran back upstairs again- now at a slightly more satisfactory temperature. Her phone began to buzz; an incoming facetime from her friends back in Florida.

Madison jumped up promptly, fixing her hair and trying to make it look like she wasn't considering an attempt at home-made abseiling down the wall beneath her window. She accepted the call and lo and behold the screams and squeals of five of her best friends burst from the phone from on the other side of the country. Meghan, the girl in front and centre, called out Madison's name with an ear-piercing screech.

"Woah, Woah. Calm down, Meghan I'm not hoping to go deaf anytime soon," she muttered, pretending to be annoyed, making a particular fuss of changing the settings on her hearing aid. Meghan playfully rolled her eyes and began talking over the other girls. 

"Oh, shut up, Maddie. How's Massachusetts? Find any cute warlocks that we need to come out and see?" She asked. 

"Meghan, this place is amazing and beautiful- there's so many other things here than witches and warlocks and Harvard's array of nerds," she said, pretending she didn't want to hop on her tricycle and go home. 

To be truthful, it was obvious that Meghan could see straight through the blatant lie. 

"Well, if you say so, babes. Give us a tour of your house! We need to see chez Madison after stalking it for an hour on Google Maps."

Madison gave a hearty chuckle. "Well, if you insist."

Madison began her own rendition of a virtual tour around her house, showing everything from the luxury bathrooms to the heated pool in the basement. The ooooooo's and ahhhhhhhhh's were constant. The house was beautiful- that was undeniable. However, the crowning glory of the house was a massive stain-glass window depicting a woman by the lake.

"The realtors said that the builder of the house had it built in 1876 to memorialize the women persecuted and killed during the witch trials," Madison said, admiring the beautiful display of colours on the floor from the sun shining through the window. 

"That's cheery." 

That's typical Meghan.

"Now, more important than your sexy house; are you or are you not coming to prom?" Meghan asked, expectantly.

Madison shrugged, "I'm not sure, we only just got here, and I don't think my parents would want me flying across the country all by myself."

Meghan let out a slightly satisfied sigh. "So, does that mean Dylan is now free for me to take as my date?"

Madison gritted her teeth hard. Only forever has Meghan been trying to steal Dylan away from her. "Sure, as long as it's just as friends," she answered, fully emphasizing the word "friends".

Meghan laughed emptily. "Well, how else would I be taking him? Trust me, Maddie baby, if I wanted Dylan so bad, I would've gotten him months ago." There was a coy smile and awkward glances shared by the others.

Madison bit her tongue.

"Yeah?" She called out into the empty house. "Coming now, Nez!" She looked back at the screen, told them, "talk later, gals, Nez wants me to help her in the basement," and hung up without waiting for a response, already knowing that Meghan would be commenting on how strange she was acting.

Madison and Meghan had been stuck to each other's waist since pre-school, grew up in close neighborhoods, and had practically been raised together. One time, Madison's family took Meghan to Disney Land, then straight to Universal Studios after. To say they were spoiled rotten in childhood because of the Delvaux family wealth was an understatement. It was only now approaching adult years was Meghan taking full advantage of her best friend's wealth- hinting off about getting her into Yale or Harvard, Madison smiled and nodded when she brought these things up, knowing full well Meghan didn't hold enough brain cells to even use a dishwasher.

The jangle of keys and the opening of the door sounded from downstairs. "The party's home! Maddie honey, you here?" Inez called, audibly struggling with grocery bags. "Coming!" she called back, skipping down the stairs two steps at a time. Inez relieved herself of one of the six bags she had carried from the car. 

"When are you going to learn to walk down the stairs without the risk of breaking your damn neck?" she asked, walking to the kitchen and setting half of the bags on the counter, and doing the same with Maddie's bags. Madison laughed and shook her head, "when we confirm that the birds don't work for the bourgeoisie." 

Inez rolled her eyes and pulled Madison into a hug. "Well, in that case, I may as well buy a neck brace and put the hospital on speed dial."

Madison gave a real laugh this time and pulled away, throwing a damp washcloth at Inez's face. "Megan facetimed me earlier with Linda, Karlie, Houston, Seoul and London.

Inez pulled a face, "yeah, and how did that turn out?" Madison sighed, "she asked me if she could take Dylan to prom."

Her stepmom stopped unpacking and lurched into deep thought. "Why are all your friends named after cities?" Madison was about to continue when she stopped to think about the question. 

"Back to the topic, Nez."

Inez’s eyes widened in shock. "She did not, did she?" Madison nodded carefully, bracing herself for Inez launching into a huge monologue, as she often did when something morally wrong happened. "After everything that we've done for that girl- everything that you've done for that girl, this is how she repays you?" Inez barely stopped to breathe. "She has known about our plans to move here since last Summer! The sneaky little bug kept this behind your back and knew it would be safe to tell you that she was going to steal Dylan from you as soon as you were a safe distance away-"

Madison promptly stopped her, knowing this could and would go on all night. "I'm not as bothered as I should be, Nez. Dylan and I were drifting even before the move. I think this is just my final sign that we just aren't meant to be- God, I always knew nothing serious would become of Dylan and me," she admitted, sipping on a diet coke that Inez had just slid down the countertop. Her stepmother pursed her lips, her incredible dark brown eyes glazing over as they always did when she fell deep into thought, as Madison often admired them doing so when she was trying to find a solution to a particularly difficult business situation, then, within seconds, bounced back out of it once again.

Inez presented an envelope to Madison, addressed to her. "Well, this might bring your spirits up at least," she placed in front of Madison. "I just know it is what it is."

Madison's jaw dropped as she read the letter.

Months ago, while they still lived in Florida, Madison's tutor convinced her to take part in a writing competition. The competition was hosted by one of New York's most prestigious publication companies, namely by their founder; Mallorie Whyte, possibly one of the most sought after and revered journalists in the Western Hemisphere. Madison completely worshipped the woman. Whyte being a first generation French American was the main factor in inspiring Madison to learn the language; not for the benefit of her Senegalese brother.

But he did not need to know that.

Inez spoke again, mainly just to make sure that Madison hadn't become paralyzed from shock. "Is she telling you to buy a damn dictionary or was your spelling fine?” Inez teased. There was no response, but Madison was finished reading, and Inez became heart-scared that she would lick the page.

Madison was dumbfounded for a few more seconds. "I got first place in the contest. She wants me to come to New York and meet her! Bloody hell, she thinks I could help her out with new ideas?" Maddie took another break before screaming the house down. "The Mallorie Whyte wants me because she thinks I could help her-"

She completely froze up in shock, her frightened stepmother running behind her in case she fell backwards. "Three weeks?!" Madison screeched, loud enough to wake up the dead. Inez almost jumped from her skin, laughing when she recovered.

"Three weeks, Maddie! We have plenty of time," she attempted to reason, even though trying to calm Madison down when she was as excited as this was next to impossible.

Madison looked highly offended. "Three weeks? Do you see the state of this house? It needs to be perfect!"

The house was next to gleaming spotless.

Inez rolled her eyes and tugged Madison's belt loop as she was about to run into the hall. In her lifetime, she had met many people that she could consider crazy, but no one came as close to her stepdaughter when she was fangirling over Mallorie Whyte. "Yes, honey that's all well and good," Inez said, attempting to calm down the lunatic in front of her, "but in the meantime, I want you to tidy your bedroom, do your homework and do some studying."

Madison nodded obediently, grabbed her Cola, and ran upstairs, careful not to spill anything on the grey carpet. The fragrance of her apple blossom burning in an incense bowl wafted around the room, and her speaker was set to play music from her playlist when it detected motion in the room. The past few moments of excitement had wiped what had happened before the letter out of her mind.

Dylan.

Meghan had practically taken Dylan away from her- not that she cared, not now anyway. Mallorie freakin' Whyte had sent her a handwritten letter for Christ's sake, she wasn't going to be moping over a boy that her supposed best friend has had her eyes on for months. She had known since before announcing the move that the boy was falling under Meghan's spell, she had seen it; the messages, the winks and the giggles, the almost-too-close kiss under the stairway. She was never ignorant to the fact that there was something between Dylan and Meghan going on behind her back- they were both horrible liars and barely tried to cover it up- she just did her best to pretend nothing had happened.

It's not as if she wasn't the jealous type- she used to be- Dylan had been around most of her friendship group while she was crushing on him. She had just grown an indifference to seeing him flirt with other girls. She had grown used to it.

The notification of her computer sounded, distracting herself from her slightly depressing thoughts. It was an email notification, from Mallorie Whyte herself. Madison almost fainted at the sight of it. Not only had she just received a written letter, but she had also taken time to contact online. Madison caught her breath at the possibility of having a conversation with this woman three weeks before they met, she opened the email, scanning every word;

Madison,

I apologize for reaching out to you in such an informal manner, but I just couldn't wait to get into correspondence with you sooner! Your entry into our contest here at Whyte’s Journalism and Publications utterly rocked my soul at the core, your work blooms amazingly at your young age.

The reason I picked your entry was that after many hours of reading and re-reading hundreds of thousands of entries, I realized that yours spoke to me in a way that no other one did. The beauty of your language and knowledge of how our world and society works touched me in a way no other did- heart-breaking, yet somehow warming, in the same way, to know that there are still people in this world who still have a love for life.

I noted in your information folder that Halloween was your least favourite holiday- a complete juxtaposition of my own opinion. Samhain is the best time of year- and I am excited to spend this glorious time of year with you and your family starting next weekend, as I've just finished sorting arrangements with Ms. Inez.

Best regards and wishes, and excitement to meet you,

Mallorie Whyte.

Inez smiled to herself from downstairs, setting her drink down and running up the stairs having heard the rather obvious sound of Madison's delighted squeal and subsequent crash on the floor.

[josephinemoore]

I saw JOSEPHINE MOORE at a coffee shop in QUEENS today. I forgot how much SHE looks like CANDICE KING. They are a THIRTY-TWO year old WEDDING PLANNER who’s been in NYC for A MONTH now. Every time we run into each other, they are always KIND-HEARTED & BUBBLY but I’ve heard people say they can also be STUBBORN & SUSPICIOUS. FIGHT SONG BY RACHEL PLATTEN reminds me of them every time it comes on the radio.

hello my loves , it’s caroline again and i’m here with another blonde ! this is josephine aka alexander warren’s long lost sibling dun dun dunnnnnn. as always , if you would like to plot , all you gotta do is like this post and i shall appear in your ims as soon as possible.

trigger warnings :      mentions of child neglect , domestic violence , substance abuse , overdose , infertility & miscarriage.

BACKSTORY.

born josephine briar warren , daughter of robert warren and alycia reynolds , she was the youngest of two kids. the family lived in hermosa beach , california during all of josie’s childhood. 

she was basically raised by her older brother , alexander , since their parents were too busy with their drug business to care for their children. 

josie worshiped the ground alexander walked on. he was her very best friend in the whole wide world and she was fascinated by everything he did.

abuse tw :     her father’s alcohol and drug problem became worse as the years went by and soon he began abusing josie’s mother and sometimes even alexander. the little girl , however , was lucky enough not to receive any of the physical abuse. she’d learnt to run and hide whenever her father went on one of his rampages.

everything changed when she was nine years-old :     alexander wasn’t home when a particularly bad fight broke out between their parents. a concerned neighbor called social services and they ended up taking josephine away. she kicked and screamed for her brother but it was in vain , they took her away and she never got to say goodbye.

josie was put in foster care and spent most of her time holed up in her room , crying herself to sleep for a full month. more often than not , she’d wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares of her father beating her entire family up or of the day she was taken away. 

vivian and jeremiah taylor appeared in josephine’s life nearly three years after she was put in foster care. the couple immediately fell in love with the bubbly yet spunky blonde-haired girl and decided to adopt her.

it took josie some time to warm up to her new adoptive parents. they spoiled her with things and , more importantly , love and affection. but since that was something she never experienced coming from a parental figure , josie was reluctant and suspicious.

with time , she grew to accept the fact she was wanted and loved. josephine’s name was officially changed to josephine briar taylor when she was sixteen and it was a day filled with warm hugs and happy tears.

her parents encouraged her to follow her dreams. she was enrolled in the best school , as well as dance class so she could have something to unwind after a stressful day. since education wasn’t a priority during her childhood , it took josie a while to get the hang of things in school. thankfully , she managed to catch up and graduate in time.

her mother worked in a bridal boutique and sometimes josephine would stop by on her way home from school. she’d always her mom interact with brides-to-be , the way they all got teary-eyed whenever they found the dress of their dreams. the aura of the place made josephine happy and excited , so she’d ask to help her mom carry dresses and find acessories whenever possible.

she quickly realized that the wedding industry is where she wanted to be. but instead of being a bridal consultant , she wanted to plan entire weddings. so when graduation rolled around , josephine sent out college applications with her major set in mind :     event planning.

josephine was accepted into university of central florida and , while it pained her to leave her parents behind , packed her bags and flew out across the country to start the next chapter of her life.

in college she found herself. maybe it was the fact she was miles and miles away from her birth parents drama, or maybe it was simply the new environment. josie became chattier & happier , making friends wherever she went.

during her second year of college , she met the man who’d later become her husband. the two ran in the same social circles and quickly became best friends. they were there for each other during stressful times such as finals or when one of their flirtationships fizzled out. the two would only get together , however , a short few months before josephine’s graduation. 

they both knew they were it for each other and didn’t waste time moving into a small apartment after graduation. the couple ended up staying in florida since he got a job offer that he couldn’t possibly pass on. however, josie flew out to california to visit her parents whenever possible , or they flew in to visit the lovebirds.

josephine’s boyfriend got down on one knee when she was twenty-five. he proposed on christmas morning , in their living room in front of their tiny but filled with presents christmas tree. 

being a wedding planner , it took josephine nearly a year and a half to plan the wedding of her dreams. she obsessed over the tiniest of details and had quite a few breakdowns whenever a deadline approached. in the end , it all paid off. she had a picture perfect summery wedding surrounded by her parents and friends. the one thing missing was her big brother , alexander.

josephine always knew she wanted kids , even if the thought of being a mom scared her. she was terrified of being a bad parent like her biological ones had been , but at the same time she wanted to prove to herself that she’d be nothing like them.

infertility & miscarriage tw :     getting pregnant was a long , exhaustive process for the blonde. it took her an entire year to feel ready to start trying for a baby , and then month after month after month , the countless pregnancy tests she’d take would turn out negative. when she finally fell pregnant , she ended up having a miscarriage around nine weeks along.

the loss devastated josephine , who retreated into her shell and became distant. the two months following the miscarriage were hard on her marriage since she barely spoke to her husband , thinking he saw her as a failure.

slowly but surely , she went back to the person she used to be before and , much to her surprise , found out she was pregnant only six months after the loss.

josephine gave birth to a gorgeous , chubby baby girl named olivia grace moore. the baby stole her heart as soon as their eyes met and josie swore she’d do everything for her and never let her down.

having her daughter only made her miss her brother even more. she’d tried to find him throughout the years but never managed to. that is , until she got a lead. somehow she managed to locate alexander , who seemed to be living in new york for over a decade now. 

before josephine could share the news with her husband , he gave some of his own :     a big promotion in which he’d have to move to new york. it all seemed too good to be true , like something that would only happen in her dreams. josephine packed up her things and moved to new york with her husband and daughter , ready to start a new chapter of her life and , hopefully , find her older brother. 

PERSONALITY.

despite everything she’s been through during her childhood , josie is probably the bubbliest person you’ll ever meet. she’s always got a smile on her face and a positivite outlook on things.

she loves meeting new people , though underneath her bright smiles and sweet giggles , she’s internally side-eyeing you until she forms a strong opinion on whether or not she wants to be friends with you.

she still has nightmares about her childhood. though they’re not as frequent as they used to be back when she was nine , they still happen. when they do , josie is usually a bit quiet and distant in the days that follow. she knows she’s safe now but she can’t help but be overly alert of her surroundings.

more will be added when my brain isn’t mush

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

husband (major wc , will probably send something to the main later)

college / florida friends

good influence

bad influence

party friends

mom squad

josie’s full wanted connection list is here

EXTRA.

she wants another kid but she’s scared to go through what she did when she was trying to get pregnant with olivia

would love to open up her own wedding planning business

pls don’t ever call her josephine unless 1) it’s a professional conversation or 2) you want her to think you’re mad at her

(  @villagestart​  )

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[delicioustrashlove]

To me : a honest open letter to my self. deep breath and open up and express 

What do you know . You went back there again and all though you held on super tight you couldn’t keep him could you? Of course not. You’ve lost your self every-time chasing him and you’ve never been able to catch him.

I thought I wouldn’t survive this one. I thought honestly I was not going to make something of my self . I whole heartedly was ready to give up . What ever happened happened and I could care less it’ll never be as bad as losing you. And I truthfully connived my self that my happiness only lied in your arms.

It took me so long to cry . Once I got back Colorado the reality of my new home, it was such a blur . For a while I pretended you died. To some how help my heart forget you. And thats all I wanted was to forget you. I deleted every picture and every single video .I blocked you on everything I could think of that youd have access to talking to me through . And for what . Just to black out once a week and tell you how much  I miss you and that I love you . I drank my self silly . I mean every event every party every outing I had to be there I had to be anywhere but in reality . Because reality meant no you. It meant what once was and will never be again,, reality meant excepting my feelings. And I wanted so badly to be tough and strong. I’ve gotten my heart shattered a million times by you , you’d think I would get easier . It didnt it was worse . I was so fully invested in you that life didnt exist with out you in it . I didnt know what that felt like anymore . I was so wrapped up In you so blind to reality . Loving you meant losing my self . I lost my self 4 times a year for 5 years trying to keep your heart. I broke my own heart letting you back in to my life so many times . I knew better . But the love I had for you was so much stronger . I couldn’t stay away . I also revolved my entire world around you , so when you where gone I felt so literally like the world was ending . I lost my whole life . I realize now thats not healthy . You have to always prioritize your health and well being before anyone . You have to love you before you love anyone. So wed break up id self destruct then Id put all my pieces back together the ones you broke. Id fix my self and I would get back on track I was moving on I was happy then just like that . One phone call at 10pm where you clearly to drunk to remember the conversation id be on a plane. Drop my job my home my family My friends … quite literally everything just to be with you . Just to love you. All I ever did in this world was so unconditionally love you. I thought I could hate you I did for a while . But I dont anymore . You where apart of my journey and it almost killed losing you but it was supposed to happen . It was part of the plan that god has for me. You coming int o my life brought so much love and bond that ill never feel with anyone else . I will never love someone the way I let my self love you. And when the lesson has finally been learned only then I can move forward to the next chapter. And your purpose in my life was love and lots of lessons and lots of growing . You think god doest hear your heart crying you think he gave up on you ya know , but he never did. In the end you’ll see there was such bigger picture. 5 years I spent going back to you and leaving you. Why did I always go back ? Because loved you but I clearly wasn’t seeing what god prepared for me. He wouldn’t believe his lessons or fallow his guidance so he kept bring ing me back to you so I could relearn and remember why I left and well you might be my soulmate your not meant to be in my story forever . Only a couple chapters . And once you’ve served your purpose to my life that god wants me to have experienced and learned I will be able to move forward. I first must let you go . And I finally am starting to. I got so unhealthy and so sad and so stuck and caused so many health problems to my body . So much that was almost to much to prepare. But I made a choice one day . I chose my self , and not you. I chose to love me and not love you anymore. I commented intently to my family and I mean really gave it my all. I learned that no matter what my parents wouldn’t never leave mom behind .and im going to everything in my power to be a good girl to them and build our love and our relationship . And I think that was gods purpose all along. You cant keep whats not for you . And I didnt understand that when we parted ways. I accept that now . And I know as I continue to stay on the right path god has such beauty waiting ahead for me… look how much I loved you and all I did for you imagine how much I will love the right man. I did alot. Every time we break up I have to fix my self . But I know now its all apart of the journey . All those trials with you just made me stronger it made me braver it made me wiser and it made men grateful for the good ones.  You breaking my heart was one of the best things to happen to me in the end. Because I never would stopped loving you I never would have left you behind. I would have always been your biggest fan and continued to love you till I ended up hating my self. You have the courage to set me free was the kindest thing you ever did for me. At the time I didnt get it but who I am now and what I ve accomplished for my self and how when you try really hard to be better and I mean really hard things kind of fall in to place. God smiles and says okay you deserve this you’ve learned you’ve grown . I manaaged to accomplish that goal of being close to my family . We are so close and we love trust and respect eachother so much . Our bond is very very strong . I managed to get my self too a doctor , I found out I complete sabotaged my health . And oh ya I have 14 allergies !!!!  And some of the effects of those allergies after time has caused a harmful build up to where I was 3 years away form being diabetic , my thyroid completely stopped working . Amplifying my anxiety and my depression . The last month. I was in az i would get sick a lot . Id eat something and get sick . The problem was I was so fuxking drunk all the time I didnt ever thing anything of it. I’ve destroyed my guy and its a blessing that wildly and randomly this doctor asked if she could test me . And we found a lot of issues and also got a lot of answers to a lot of my health issues. Im starting treatment for that . Ill be injecting my self every other day with medicine to help my body repair the damages I have done and it will also help fight allergic reaction and build immunity so this doesnt happen again . I also !!! Am taking my meds again . Different ones but im glad I chose to take this chance on them again . I figured if im going to  put my health and happiness first I dotn need to be drinking and If im not drinking a lot fo stuff is going to come to the surface and I don know how well ill be able to handle that reality. I also like I said thought. Was going to kill my self. I was so heartbroken so so so sad. I knew I needed help and I reached out and got. Now im happy and stable and I get out of bed and I have energy and im so present and to active. I work out everyday . I eat healthy and I lost some weight . My highest weigh t was 168 before our florida trip I got down to 147 , when worked for Linx I was 145 then after being with tj again my mental health went hay wire and I lost my self again . Completely lost. And when I got back to co I was 153 pounds …. I would shift from 145 to 147 … then I just stopped worrying about it and started doing something about it. I channeled all my sadness in to exercise . Im sad go work out im bored go work out im happy hey go work out get that good flow !!  Your angry you miss him what ever it was I worked out then it became all I could focus on cus I learned to love it so Much . I took on running again I put in the work . Things finally where falling into place . I was getting my self back and this time it was better then ever . Better then ever before . I unlocked this door and its been so beautiful. I one day weighed my self just to see assuming id be 145 I was 137 !!!! Wow !!! A week later I was 135 and today I am 133!!!!! Its so cool and feels so good to not be depressed not feel pretty in my clothes. And iliv Amy self. So much . I hope I start working at hooters soon and continue to have a great life. I finally got approved for unemployment and ally back pay and also and extra 13 weeks after mine runs out. Things are just happening . I wasn’t going to get any hadn’t outs . But I was at the bottom thats for sure and you know who was there ? Not tj not the guy you literally did everything for no not him . My mom and my step dad and my brother . They took me in . And it was hard and uncomfterable , but I just stopped going out stopped drinking as much . And did things for them no matter if they where mad at me or if it was awkward.i committed to being good fo them . And I knew it would take time . But little by little ive managed to accomplish all my goals . When I used to be the queen of quitting. I cant wait to see even more of what god has in store for me. And who I become . My skins cleaning up my body is losing weight I more active im healthy and im very in touch with my desires and my well being . I care and love and respect my self so so much. Its like a huge spiritual awakening. I love being alone . I dont feel like alone deserves me right now to be honest .Its gong to take a lot for me to love again but its okay . Not everyone deserves that form me anyway. I worked so hard to me this . To be who I am right now and I won’t let anyone take that away form me. You cause harm to my heart my well being just by !! If you disappoint me disrespect me or hurt me its done . You lost you dot meet my needs your not benefiting and there’s to many many and women on this planet . Ill never waist my time on the wrong one . Ever again. I respect my self to much to put someone over me! And I stand by that now and forever!!!  The new be is bette then ever and its gong to take a hell of a person to change my relationship status . And that cool im honestly not even interested . I dont care to date or hang out or hook up or even have sexual contact with anyone . Im so content with me myself and this beautiful transition im goin through I just want to focus on me and my family and my health. Because this is what its all about. This is what living is. this is life. This is beauty . This is whats important. I feel like im living . And im happy and im only going to get better and better. Thank you god for this life and thank you for giving me the strength to turn the page and start a new chapter on life. I fully trust you and the processs. And that brings me back to “god will never leave you behind” I needed to learn all those things that all may mistakes have taught me . And god has a way of constantly bringing things back Into your life if it has not yet served its purpose or taught you what you needed to learn.  I see that now. Positive mind set is very powerful . Loving your self is amazing and living through god is the best thing you can do . I will always you tj and I will always in some way wish there was a me and you forever .but I cant ever betray my self like that again. That door is officially closed.  See I thought my life was over when you said our relationship was over. But really it had just begun. Everything happened for a reason exactly how its meant to happen . Losing you meant I could finally find my self. It just lit up the path .  God bless <3 no angry  im happy and im I accept this and I forgive my self and you . Life is so Beautiful .

Some one very wise once said … -Life is not about how much you hurt its about how much your willing to suffer. ~VP

Im not willing to suffer any longer.  Except it feel it and then forgive and move forward.

[how-to-survive-a-factory-tour]

How to Survive a Factory Tour - Chapter 5

A Sanders Sides / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory FanFiction

PREVIOUS

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I am so fucking exhausted. And hungry. Well, I always am, but recently I’ve been more so than usual.

For the past few days, a lot of my co-workers have been off for Christmas. This meant little old me had to pick up god knows how many extra shifts. For the past few days, I’ve had to skip out on proper meals, only having a quick snack when I got home.

And, no, by snack, I do not mean the Wonka bar. Still haven’t eaten it. No one has.

Two days after Roman Prince won a ticket, I expect Remy to say the fourth ticket’s been won. You know, since there’s been a pattern of them being found every two days. However, when Remy comes in, he simply orders his drink, chats a bit and leaves. It’s honestly surprising, especially with the tour being in five days.

Anyway, I continue working for the next few hours, praying the tips at the end will be worth it. Then, finally, my manager comes out and dismisses me, but not before dividing my share of the money in the tip jar. I hang up my apron, pull on my hoodie and leave the shop.

If there’s one good thing about being poor in Florida, it’s that you never have to worry about freezing. With winters of 75°F, it doesn’t matter that my thin, patched-up hoodie is the warmest thing I own.

It doesn’t mean the walk home is perfect, however. My stomach’s being as loud as an earthquake. Shut up, will you. Just wait until Mom comes home and hopefully she brings some dinner.

I soon arrive at our little shack, gently opening the front door and stepping inside. “Thomas, I’m home!”

I pause, waiting for my brother to reply. There’s no response. “Thomas? Hello?” Nothing. “Thomathy? Thomas the dank engine?”

Still nothing. I feel my heart rate picking up. Oh god, what if part of the ceiling collapsed on him... o-or the lack of food in the house caught up on him and he starved...

All the worst possibilities come to mind. Thomas is supposed to be here, he always is when I come home. Something’s wrong, he’s hurt, I just know it. I can’t breathe. Everything’s going blurry. My heart’s thudding too hard.

Suddenly, everything’s black.

...

”Virgil! Virgil, wake up!”

I come back to my senses to find myself led on our lumpy couch, and someone leaning over me.

”Th-Thomas...? You’re okay?”

”Virge! Thank god you’re awake! I was so worried... What happened?”

I sit up, Thomas helping me adjust. “I... You weren’t home. I got scared something had happened, and...”

”Panic attack, huh?” Thomas asks. I nod. “I’m really sorry, Virge, I should’ve left a note so you knew I was heading out...”

It was only then I notice a shopping bag at Thomas’ feet. “What’s that?”

Thomas takes a deep breath. “I have a confession. While I have put most of the money you earned for me towards college, I’ve also been saving up for something else.” He reaches down into the bag and pulls out...

”A video camera? What do you need a camera for?”

”I felt bad that you and Mom were doing so much for me but I wasn’t doing anything in return. I’ve wanted to get a job for a while, but I didn’t know how to get one that fit around my school schedule. I decided I needed to do something where I can organise my own hours and I didn’t need to get a whole lot, so I figured maybe...I could do YouTube. I’ve got the camera, and Remy said I could record at his and edit and upload on his computer. Hopefully, I’ll get enough viewers to monetize and get some money to help us, all the while making fun content.”

”Thomas... that is fucking brilliant.”

Thomas smiles. “Thanks. But none of that matters right now. You literally just passed out, you need to get your strength back.” He gets up and leaves the room, heading to the kitchen. A few moments later, he comes back and pushes something into my hand. “Eat.”

I look down at the bar. “I... I can’t.”

”Why not?”

”The money was meant to be for you...”

Thomas rolls his eyes. “It’s okay! It was only a dollar or so for this. You deserve a reward for everything you’ve done for me. Now, open it and eat.”

I sigh, knowing Thomas won’t give in. He can be really stubborn if he needs to be. I start peeling back the wrapper.

HO. LY. SHIT.

GOLD. FUCKING GOLD.

Thomas and I both stare at the ticket. He breaks the silence.

”This is gonna make a great first video.”

I pause before holding it out to him. “You have it.”

”What?! No way in hell! You won it and bought it with your own money. And as I said, you deserve a reward.” Thomas pushes the ticket back into my hands. “Virgil, you’re going to Willy Wonka’s factory.”

-

”FOURTH TICKET!”

I practically slide into the room upon hearing Emile’s yell. I plop next to him on the sofa and watch the TV screen.

There are three guys there, and I can’t tell which the winner is. One is wearing sunglasses, a white t-shirt, a black jacket, black jeans, and has an arm around the shoulders of the person in the middle.

The one in the middle has brown hair, and is wearing a purple shirt, ripped black skinny jeans and a patched black and purple hoodie. He looks pretty uncomfortable at all the attention.

The third looks identical to the second. He looks more comfortable on camera than who I presume is his twin brother. He was wearing a grey shirt, an old brown jacket, and jeans.

As I watch, they’re revealed to be called Remy Sleep, and Virgil and Thomas Sanders. Virgil’s the one who won the ticket. He seems so shy! Well, I’ll make sure to make him feel welcome during the tour.

Speaking of the tour, Virgil lives in Florida, and in the same town as the Wonka factory! That’s awesome! He’s sooooo lucky. Imagine being able to buy Wonka bars nice and fresh. I bet they’d be even more delicious then.

Oh boy, four out of five tickets have already been won with five days to go! I can’t wait to find out who wins the last one!

-

It seems my predictions have been proven right yet again. The next ticket was found in Florida. Just the one in Australia left now.

There’s not much else to say about the ticket being won, really. Nothing worth saying. Robert still blames me, so some things never change.

Joan and Talyn have been trying to find a way to hide a camera on my person so they can see the factory for themselves. It’s rather funny to hear their extravagant ideas, though I doubt I’ll try any. They’ll have to settle with my explanation.

They’re going to be coming with me to Florida, though. Of course my family aren’t, but Joan and Talyn didn’t want me to be alone, so got tickets for the flight too.

I totally didn’t beg them to come because I have a fear of flying...

Okay, I watch Air Crash Investigation too much. It’s educational and very intriguing, if slightly anxiety inducing.

But the point is, they’re coming with me. We’re arriving the day before the tour and leaving the day after. Joan and Talyn are going to be heading up to Orlando the day of the tour to go to Universal Studios. They’re going to meet up with me once the tour’s over. Everything’s arranged, and I’ve even written up schedules for us all so no one will be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Some may call it excessive, I call it efficient.

But I digress. The point is I’m fully ready and prepared...

To wipe this in my brother’s face.

-

Oh, how perfect! An emo nightmare just won the final ticket and is coming with us on the tour! How wonderful!

That was sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.

Call me quick to judge, but I’m not too fond of those edgy, melodramatic, dark emo types. They just seem to always bring down the mood. I’d rather my time at the greatest factory in the entire world didn’t be ruined by some moody, angsty, and by the looks of it, very socially awkward guy.

But I guess it’s too late now. He’s got a ticket, he’s going. Fun.

However, lets brush that aside for now. There’s more interesting stuff than ‘Virgil’ or whatever his name was winning a ticket.

The day after I’d won my ticket, my dads were out so I hosted a party at my place to celebrate my victory. It was great. We played spin the bottle and I got to kiss none other than school heartthrob Nate Christopher. It was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. Valerie even took a picture and sent it to me so I could “treasure the moment I could pretend Nate was gay and into me”.

Why are all the best guys straight? Let’s hope I’ll find the one in Florida and he’ll actually be gay, or bi, or pan, or just likes dudes in general.

Anyway, in the middle of the party, I got a call from Pa. He said he and dad had arranged, not just flights and hotels, but a two-week holiday in America. First, a week and two days in Florida, two days in the town with the factory, then the morning after the tour we’ll drive up to Orlando to go to Disney World. Then, we’ll fly up to New York, which is where we’ll spend the rest pf the two weeks, because Dad managed to get us all tickets to see Be More Chill on Broadway! I’m so excited, it’s going to be the best two weeks of my life.

----------

NEXT

Tags: @clone-number-1, @pumpkinminette, @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing

[idtali]

Hellooooo!! First of all I just want to say I’m SUPER excited to be here, you have no idea. I also cannot thank you guys enough for ALL of the sweet welcome messages I’ve received (which I will GET TO very soon!). I’m Irma & this is the first idol rp I join, so please bare with me as I’m learning & whatnot. Anyway, enough about me! This is my baby Taehee, geek-a-zoid, gamer extraordinaire, Heaven’s lead vocal/lead dance & variety star. She’s currently trying to redeem herself from a huge scandal in her past, so we’ll see how that goes. Here’s her profile & bio. As far as connections go, there is one that will be explained under the cut, but when it comes to the rest? Hopefully we’ll be able to plot out something through IM or discord @ irmsjay#8283! Once again thank you for making me feel right at home. Here’s a small TL;DR:

Taehee was born in Orlando, Florida. When she turned six years old, her parents decided to move back to South Korea.

Kids are jerks sometimes and Taehee learned that when she attended school. They teased her A LOT but luckily met a cute girl named Jiyoo who became her best friend.

Taehee WASN’T into idol groups, nor fame, nor money, but Jiyoo was. Her best friend then convinced her they should audition together to get signed.

And Taehee did, but Jiyoo didn’t due to medical complications.

Long story short, Taehee got her contract, and her best friend was happy for her. Taehee was happy too, but not super thrilled.

She still pushed herself hard to succeed, all to make her best friend proud.

The day Taehee was told she would be debuting, Jiyoo passed away.

This broke her heart but only pushed her harder to continue living Jiyoo’s dream. For her, she’d do anything.

And so, the Heaven-ly success comes here.

Taehee never got herself involved in scandals so she begged 99 to have her own gaming streaming channel, and because she was so popular on variety shows, they said yes.

That’s how ‘Tali’s Dream Land” came to life, and she was basically having the time of her life. At some point she was also in the “League of Idols”.

BUT THEN she fell in love with a boy.

They dated for two years, sneaking around so they wouldn’t get caught.

That didn’t work because the boy got caught by management. Taehee being the kind of person she is? Told the boy she’d be willing to leave it all behind for him.

He thought that was ridiculous and broke up with her.

^ This is THE wanted connection I’d LOVE to have. Taehee’s ex’s who basically lead her to make the worst mistake of her life. If anyone is interested, pleeeease let me know!

With a broken heart and all, she streamed the next day. However, got triggered by a fan question and went on a “men ain’t shit” rant, which angered most of her male fans. Also that portion of “don’t mess with our oppas!” fangirls.

Backlash was SO hard, fans wanted 99 to fire her. But they didn’t, instead placing her on a hiatus from activities (performances, variety, etc) throughout 2017. Her stream channel was also put on hiatus, and was forced to leave the “League of Idols”.

While she’s NOW back to doing variety shows, performances & whatnot? Her streaming channel is still on hiatus, and while 99 keeps telling her that, she truly believes they won’t let her use it again and just don’t want to let her know.

And that’s it! As I already mentioned, if there’s anything you’d like to discuss/think my muse could fit in your connections or just someone that would make a great addition to your muses’ relationships, do let me know! <3

[callister-jones-blog]

New Beginning’s

               The day my life was ruined I could remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Tuesday, my very first day of work. I was only sixteen never had a chance to live. Although it was late, it was hot just like it always is in Florida.  My first day on the job had been hard just as I knew it would be. But, I managed and left with a smile that would soon be ripped from my lips. I called my mom but she had still been at work so she told me to take the bus. It wasn’t unusual for me to take the bus home when mom worked late. What was unusual was that my dad’s car was in the driveway when he was supposed to be at work. That didn’t bother me though, I was excited to see my daddy. I heard the sounds before I opened the door. My daddy was crying. I remember I hesitated, but curiosity filled me so I opened the door. The barrel of a gun pointed at my face as I opened that door. I had never been so terrified in my entire life. The large man holding the gun grabbed me and he pushed me in the house. The door closed along with whatever freedom I had left.

            “Don’t kill her!” My daddy begged.

            I remember looking at him wondering what my big strong daddy was doing crying as this man pointed a gun at him. His shirt was wet with tears and his hair disheveled obviously from a fight. But the thing I remember the most is his eyes. His crystal blue eyes shining from the tears looking at me, pleading with me. “I won’t.” The man answered and put his hand over my eyes as a shot rang out.

            I don’t remember screaming. Even when he let his hand fall and I looked at my daddy there I couldn’t speak. My heart had shattered the moment I heard that shot. I didn’t fight when the man shoved me in the back of his van leaving my father there his crystal blue eyes wide open, staring at me. It has been three years since then and I am still in the hands of the man who killed my father. My name used to be Rose but the only thing that left his filthy lips is wife. The man had entered some type of delusion that I was his wife and that I could possibly love him. I had tried to escape so many times but he would always catch me. Never did he lay his hands on me though, instead he took his anger out in sex. If I just laid there and let it happen it wouldn’t hurt as much and he would leave after.

            I would’ve given up after that but I found out that I was pregnant. I couldn’t let my child grow up with the man who killed her grandfather, my father. So, I planned I would just tell him I need to see a doctor, that I thought I was pregnant. I knew he wouldn’t let me and would just go out and get one of those drug store tests. Given me the perfect opportunity. After having failed at escaping so many times I finally figured out the perfect escape. It was going to work and I and my baby were going to live. So, I did what I planned and the moment I got into town I called the police. They came and got me and now I’m here.  “Thank you, that’s enough.”

            “Are you sure detective? I will answer any questions you have.”

            “No. You’ve been through enough. Would you like to speak to your mother? She has been very worried about you.”

            “Sure.”

            Mom walked in holding her bag so tight to her chest I thought she was gonna hurt herself with it. “Rose?”

            I knew that was my name I just hated the way she said it. It was as if all the sorrow I had endured somehow matched up with her’s. It was as if she was pregnant with a monster’s child instead of I. “No. Don’t call me that. I am not Rose and I never will be.”

            She sobbed in front of me so hard the detective had to escort her out. A new deceive sat in front of me, a female. “So, I know it must have been hard. I can’t even try to understand. But, I think it’s best to go home with your mother.”

            “Your right. You can’t begin to understand what I have been through. No human can. Yet you want me to go home with that women. She doesn’t understand either. She thinks she’s found her little girl. That everything can go back to normal. Well, it can’t. I’m not her little girl anymore and this is a happy fucking ending.”

            The pity in the detective’s eyes was so overwhelming that I had to close my eyes. “Your only other option is to go into witness protection.”

            I opened my eyes and could see that her earlier expression had been replaced with a hard one. She didn’t care. No one did. She was only trying to kiss the ass of my mother. Who while I was gone married a very rich man who had a lot of say in this city. “Put me in witness protection.”

            The next few days were hard I was forced to answer question after question on how I wanted to live my pretend life. My new name would be Claire, Claire Daniels. I would be shipped off to Oklahoma and be provided with a comfortable home. There was no need for me to work as my mother generously offered to send me checks every month. There would be a bodyguard designated just for me. How fucking special did I feel? They even let me decide if I wanted to go back to school and finish my education. I refused, all I had to do was give birth. After that I would end it all, they didn’t know. How could they? All they cared about was how much mother was going to pay them for finding me. I hated them, even more than the man that did this to me. They even had the audacity to ask me about abortion.

            The child had nothing to do with anything. It was innocent. No one was going to hurt this baby while I was still alive. That shut them up quick. So here I was trying to act normal in a supermarket as woman whispered around me. I know it was because I was young and pregnant. Not because they found out my identity. What I have learned is that women like to talk, especially about other women. I ignored them and paid for the food as Agent Marks watched me from the door. “Did you get everything you needed?”

            I ignore him and put the stuff in the trunk of the pick-up hopping in the car. He sighs and starts the car. I wonder why they assigned a man to be my bodyguard. It’s not as if I had been trapped by one for years. “You know you can talk to me.”

            Ignoring him was easy after a few unsuccessful tries he would usually shut up. Oddly this time he continued to talk. “You know the town is having a thanksgiving festival. We should go.”

            “No.”

            He paused and then looked at me with a huge smile. Agent Marks was handsome, well at least to all the other women in town. I didn’t have eyes for him, or any man ever. My life was over the moment I gave birth to this child. “You talked.”

            “No shit.” I snapped.

            He laughs. “You know if you talked more you wouldn’t be so miserable.”

            I looked at him angrily and jumped out of the car the moment he stopped. I was going to walk back even if it killed me. “Hey wait!”

He jumped out after me and grabbed my arm spinning me around. “You want to know why im so fucking miserable! Maybe it’s because I was forced to be someone else for years. You don’t know what it’s like to be raped by the man who killed your father! To come back and have everyone tell you it's going to be okay when you know it’s not. To be pregnant with the child of the man who ruined your life. You don’t get it! No one does!”

He grabbed my arms pulling me in front of him. “You're right I don’t know what it’s like! But that doesn’t mean you should fucking give up just because this happened to you. Pick yourself up and live your life! Take the chance that was given to you because I know how many people have died just wishing for it!”

[rcsiehart-blog]

what’s up,  babes!!  i’m rachel,  but you can call me rae  ♡  i’m hella out of practice with group rp’s so i hope you’ll excuse any rough edges while i get back into the swing of things.  but i’m excited to be here and hope you’ll love me and my lil’ star,  rosie!  unfortunately i won’t be around for opening since i’m gonna be out tonight and busy a lot of the day,  but feel free to jump in my ims and we can talk plot-y things!!

「  bridget satterlee; cis female; she/her; pansexual  」  ❛ ✦ ﾟ*・ﾟ  ROSIE HART  is a  21 year old   THEATRE MAJOR   in their   SOPHOMORE   year.   It has been stated that they are +SPONTANEOUS   &&   +CHARMING,   but they can also be   -CLUMSY   &&   -THOUGHTLESS.   they happen to be into  ROUGH SEX   &&   ORAL,   but won’t do   SCAT   &&   HUMILIATION. ❜ 「  rachel; 24; pst; she/her  」

+     her father ditched when she was about eight yrs old.  he never really wanted to be a father and husband,  so it’s a miracle he lasted as long as he did. rosie always tried to get close to her father,  and maybe there were a few moments here and they where they had a nice day out at the movies or picking up mcdonald’s and watching cartoons together, but ultimately that wasn’t enough that he wanted to be there. 

+     rosie’s mother struggled with substance abuse even before having her.  her parents weren’t even out of high school when they had her.  because of her mother’s struggles,  rosie had to take care of herself a lot. she and her mother were never close,  though there’s not exactly bad blood between them either.  life at home was simply a lot of existing in the same space.

+     got into theatre in middle school by chance.  she skipped a history class early on in the year,  and when she tried to head for her spanish class,  she accidentally walked into the neighboring drama room.  rosie managed to stay about half the class before they realized she wasn’t supposed to be there,  but by then,  it was done.  she so saw how much fun the community was in that classroom,  and she wanted to be part of it.

+     unfortunately,  a lot of the fellow drama kids there got into a lot of ill advised activities after school.  a lot of them drank a lot and partied,  and between that and the bad influence of her mother,  rosie quickly spiraled down that path,  too. 

+     rosie struggled heavily with commitment,  impulse control,  etc.  sometimes she’d get into her mother’s stashes to bring back to her friends so they could have a good time.  despite that,  drama class was the one area where she thrived.  she auditioned for all the school plays and musicals, getting into just about all of them.  if she didn’t, rosie took up a tech part.  and kicking back and watching old musicals and shows  ( as well as a lot of bootlegs ),  did help keep her out of some trouble. 

+     originally started college in her hometown of dayton, ohio,  but dropped out relatively quick.  she just couldn’t stand living in her crappy town anymore.  rosie’s interests gave her bigger dreams.  she wanted a more glamorous life,  and she couldn’t get it by going to school in her hometown. 

+     rosie took a year off to work and save up for something better.  though she wanted to attend a good performing arts school in new york,  the costs simply weren’t realistic.  so rosie set her sights on sunshine university in florida.  florida seemed more lax and wild to accompany her free spirited personality,  and while no college is cheap,  the fees weren’t as ridiculous as in new york.  it seemed like a start to get out of her hometown.  so she went for it. 

+     nevertheless,  rosie’s has kept her tendency to live too loose.  her mind is still barely focused on classes outside theatre,  putting in just enough effort to get by.  she drinks too much.  smokes.  sleeps around.  in all honesty,  she barely has the money to be attending,  either,  and it’s only a few surprise checks from her father  ( who evidently found decent success after leaving his family )  that keep her just stable enough to get by.

+     likes to sleep around a lot because it’s something that’s almost always guaranteed to get her attention.  due to her childhood,  rosie grew up low on it and craves it now.  she’s not against buttering people up,  having a one night stand,  and acting like it’s nothing afterward.  whether there are repeats depends on the person,  but rosie’s never been one for long term relationships.  the way rosie sees it,  she plans on making it big one day anyway,  so it’s not like she’ll be able to keep up with old relationships anyway.  maybe deep down she’d like something deeper,  but she’ll never admit that to anyone,  even herself.

+     not really picky with who she seeks affection from,  but she does have an unconscious tendency to go for those older than her.  not that she’s against or won’t get with anyone her age,  it’s just where she’s drawn.  also really has no gender preference. 

+     has super luxurious tastes and would never say no to a sugar-anything.  buy her things and fuck her hard and you’ve got her heart honestly.

[1rosex]

Yoongi Scenario: Meeting his famous s/o after a long time

Request: Hello! I’m sorry that this might be a bit long but I was wondering if you could do a Yoongi imagines where he meets his S/O after a long time of being apart from one another. I was thinking that maybe the S/O is equally as successful but maybe in a slightly different industry (modeling lol idk) that is still similar enough that both understand the struggle of keeping up a public persona? Idk I just like the idea of two people with the same footing in life choosing to be together not because they idolized one another’s public appearance but because they admire one another’s dedication and drive to achieve their goals? Sorry this was so long! 😖

Genre: flUff

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

A/N IM SO SO SORRY. It took me forever to get to this ;;

You opened the door expecting the sun to shine down on you, but instead you were greeted by a bright flash. You blinked in surprise and took a step back as several more flashes began to go off. Suddenly your name was being called from all directions, followed by a flood of questions.

You soon realized it was interviewers and photographers, trying to shove mics at you and make themselves heard over the swarm of other voices. Security moved past you and began to back people up so you could walk.

You smiled and waved, trying to answer as many questions as you could while trying to get to your taxi.

You had just landed in Los Angeles after completeling a shoot in Florida. When you got the one of a time modeling AND acting offer in Florida, you knew you had to accept. You loved doing both, and you managed both well. It was an amazing company, they paid well and boosted your popularity by a thousand. Unfortunately, that also meant your work had become more chaotic and time consuming. The pressure really cracked down on you, you were mentally and emotionally drained from all the effort you had put in to fit the public figure you were supposed to be. But your work in Florida was over and you jumped at the first chance to see your boyfriend. Min Yoongi, another star who’s popularity had gone through the roof and given him an overflowing schedule. You remember the nights in your hotel, when you used your free time to scroll through social media. All the news reporters claiming that Yoongi and you had broken up, though you knew that wasn’t true. You just didnt have time.

Until now.

Your arrival had been quiet until you stepped outside into the mass of paparazzi, but you managed to make it to your taxi while still giving them what they wanted. Once the door of the cab closed, you sighed with relief at the silence that pursued. You loved your work, you loved your fans, but you also loved Yoongi and just wanted to see him as soon as possible.

As if on cue, your phone suddenly started to ring with an incoming call from the rapper.

“Hello?” You answered.

“You did not tell me you were coming to LA.” Yoongi’s voice came over the phone.

“Oh, I’m in LA.” You stated.

“Funny. I’m at our hotel right now, have to go to a photo shoot soon. We’re going to grab some pizza to eat afterwards, meet me then?” He asked. You nodded enthusiastically before realising he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah, sounds good.” You said.

“Y/N you better hurry, Yoongi missed you!” You heard Jimin’s voice say followed by Yoongi yelling something incoherent, the sound of rustling and Jimin laughing as he ran away. After a few moments, Yoongi returned to the phone. “Dont mind him, I’ll see you Y/N.”

…

You hurried down the sidewalk, trying to avoid any more fan encounters. You headed to DeSano Pizza Bakery, the place Yoongi had texted you to meet him. Arriving at the doorway, you checked your reflection in the glass door before stepping inside. The smell of bread wafted through the air, the sound of baking coming from the kitchen and light chatter coming from the other customers. Yoongi was seated with the rest of the members at one of the tables waiting on their pizza. You could only stare at him for a few minutes before making your presence known, he had definitely changed. This was the first time you had seen Yoongi’s blue hair in person since you’d left, his sharper jawline, his brighter clothes, but everything you loved about him was still there. He looked up, finally seeing you at the entrance. Yoongi’s eyes widened and he immideatedly got to his feet as he hurried towards you. You rushed towards him and as you two met, he pulled you into a big hug. He spun you around, nestling his head into your neck while his hands found their way to the small of your back. You hugged back just as tightly, inhaling the scent of his cologne that you had missed for so long. The other members all broke out into cheers and claps, teasing the two of you but Yoongi didn’t care. He was just glad to see you again.

“I missed you.” He said when he finally pulled away from the embrace.

“Wow. You’re admitting a deep affectionate feeling? Where’s Yoongi?” You joked as he gave you his iconic gummy smile.

“Just shut up and eat pizza with me.”

…

You tried to step outside after finishing your pizza, only to be bombarded with questions from the interviewers that seemed to appear from thin air. Yoongi stood besides you, accompanied by the other members who smiled at the cameras and waved.

“Wow Y/N’s famous.” Hoseok smiled.

“Oh please. They’re here for you.” You laughed, waving at one of the cameras that focused on you.

“Whoever they’re here for, lets just hurry and get home.” Jungkook whined, though he made sure no one heard and kept his smile on. You know they must get tired of attention too, they were held to high standards. You always admired Yoongi for being able to handle the attention, he never failed to appear confident. None of them ever did. You just hurried to the taxi, trying to avoid being stopped and aching to rest at the hotel. The rest of the boys followed your lead, and you were finally out of the public eye once again.

…

Both Yoongi and you ended up getting hungry at the hotel at 11 PM and were creeping through the halls trying to get downstairs to the cafeteria.

“I cant believe you couldn’t wait until tomorrow.” Yoongi groaned behind you.

“You were the one complaining about your stomach growling!” You said accusingly while Yoongi shook his head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He stated, you could only shake your head. 

“You were quick to get out of the crowd back there.” Yoongi said suddenly, and you turned to look at him in question. “The interviewers back at the pizza place. You didn’t seem to want to stay.”

“.. Why wouldn’t you want to leave?” You asked him.

“What do you mean?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow at you.

“It must be hard on you. You know. You have so many fans and for everyone to pay so much attention to everything you do..” You trailed off.

“Yeah.. Yeah you’re right. But you’re pretty popular too you know.”

“I am not.” You laughed.

“Oh come on, yeah you are. I guess it’s the price to pay for doing what you love.”

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as you began to head down the flights of stairs, the lights on the wall the only promise you two wouldn’t miss a step. Then Yoongi broke the quiet with his teasing words.

“I wonder what they’d say if they knew Y/N’s actually a brat.”

You scoffed. “I wonder what they’d say if they Yoongi’s actually a huge scaredy cat.”

“I wonder what they’d say if they knew Y/N is actually a big weirdo.”

“I wonder what they’d say if they knew Yoongi’s actually a big softie.”

Yoongi smirked as he stopped walking to pull you to him.

“They’d probably say Y/N’s one lucky girl.”

[ofjcsie]

werd. it meme, kayla, with yet another muse. this is my bad bitch josie, lets get to know her shall we

「 ISKRA LAWRENCE, CISFEMALE, TWENTY-FOUR, JESY NELSON. 」┈did you read that latest viral gossip issue on JOSIE PRYOR? she is the VOCALIST in ETHEREAL, one of my favorite POP groups. they’ve been releasing music for ONE YEAR now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last YEAR. get this, i think i heard SHE MARRIED A STRANGER IN LAS VEGAS. they’re known as the THE CATACLYSMIC of the music industry, since they have a rep for being BENEVOLENT but TENACIOUS, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

firstly im gonna apologize if this is all over the place. im gonna try to organize it but i cant make any promises.

BASICS

full name is josephine iridessa pryor, but goes by josie for the most part

named after her maternal grandfather, joseph.

originally from tallahassee, florida. ur basic suburban middle class white family. one older sister. her mom owned her own bakery and her dad was a paralegal.

ex high school cheerleader

one tough cookie

AESTHETIC

leather jackets, skin tight jeans, fishnets, roses with the thorns still on the stem, red nail polish, fangs, messy hair, scars covered by tattoos, the moon at midnight, high heeled boots, dancing like nobody’s watching, and structured handbags.

HEADCANONS (?)

literally ppl are always like “josie can’t sing. she’s inconsistent.” or “she’s the ugly one” or rlly mean Ugly comments about her body and just general ugly body shaming. like she Knows she’s not the same size as her bandmates but like ???? she loves herself??? it took her a long time to get to this self love level and she loves her girls so she’s always telling people to fuck off

literally gets in trouble with management for telling body shamers in her comments or ppl that are generally rude to her and/or ethereal to fuck off. probably has blocked some accounts (even stan ones sdscdcs) like jesy has

cute but will 1000000000000% fight u if u make her mad, say bad things about ppl she cares about, or start body shaming

body posi, self love, and self care activist and supporter of the #metoo movement as it relates to her past

since her mom had a bakery, she worked there in hs and knows her way with cupcakes

hates wine & has never done hard drugs

i rlly cant stress enough how she will fight anyone and everyone for being an asshole

Straight (shes like my only straight character it’s Wild)

never had a serious relationship because she’s always been guarded but she has been in love, or at least thought it was love

curvy > plus sized bc she is by no means “plus” and knows this. by measurement/fashion standards she is between straight size and plus, so just go with curve/curvy

DETAILS (?)

TRIGGER WARNING FOR BODY/FAT SHAMING & SEXUAL ASSAULT:  josie’s curves developed faster than other girls her age, so even in like 6th grade ppl were calling her rlly ugly names because her hips had grown and saying things about her, even going as far as slut shaming and oversexualizing her developing body like gross. around this time someone she thought was a friend would repeatedly touch her without her permission (also she was like 13 and knew absolutely no better than ‘uh he’s my pal so i guess it’s alright if he touches between my legs when i dont want him to). it rlly tore her down and she felt like she was nothing. that low self esteem rlly followed her into high school. the bullying kinda morphed more into unwanted glares from boys, girls calling her a sl*t, and ppl just being generally mean because of her body shape. her sophomore year she tried out for the jv cheerleading squad bc she really just wanted to be involved and have school spirit, plus she had a friend who was doing it. things were rad, she made the team, all was good, she rlly liked it and even wanted to go out for varsity the next year. junior year came around and she was on jv again, but their coach ended up quitting so the trainer stepped in. he was nice to all the girls bc he’d known them and was working with them but rlly this was just grooming tbh, like he kinda made it seem like he was hte only one in their corner if they were having problems. she got a weird feeling from him but folks were just kinda like “eh you’re over-reacting, it was just a hug” but when they went away to cheer camp it was like damn what a change. he got a little bit violent and ut was just generally a Not Fun experience, like yelling at the girls and embarrassing them to the point where other coaches and such were like “uh he needs to chill tf out”. to make everything worse one of the nights he knocked on the door of the room josie was staying in, saying he wanted to talk to her, she let him in and long story short he got handsy. when she told school authorities what happened, it was her word against his, but after testimony from teammates about his behavior at camp and everything, the school gave him an ultimatum: resign or be fired and go to court.. lmao guess which he took. so basically he got away with molesting her and being an abusive bag of dicks. END OF TRIGGER

for a long time she blamed herself bc she thought she was too naive or maybe if she hadn’t opened the door, or it was all her fault and she let it happen. sometimes she still has self doubt moments where she thinks about “but what if....” or she says “at least it wasn’t as bad as...” she’s very passionate about the metoo movement tho, and abusers being held accountable for their actions (no matter their gender or sexuality)

she doesnt really talk about what happened in detail, but she has been vocal about the metoo movement and she stands with her #MeToo sisters because she’s been there

since cheer was like “aha nop never again” senior year she got involved in the drama club. she’d sang in church choir before, but nothing Super Serious. but the fall production of grease really caught her eye, so, she auditioned and voila, Sandy. 

after graduation, she started community college in musical theater, still working at the bakery but she fuckin wanted to leave florida (dont... we all??) so she used the money she saved from the bakery, bought a one way bus ticket, and ended up in austin texas... not exactly where she wanted to be, but it was out of florida.

she started singing at bars and trying to get involved with local small theater productions/companies, but that really just was not cutting it. so she asked her dad for some moolah and she moved to los angeles. for a long time she lived in a very very shitty apartment complex (if u rememerbr YEARS ago there was a show on the cw called the complex... it was about struggling young actors/musicians living in one place.. lowkey it was good but it got cancelled before season 2 wow shocker amirite) her agent was kinda bad, like joey’s from friends, but the one thing he got right was booking her an audition for a new girl group that a label was putting together. and boom, ethereal.

AS for the vegas thing lmAO.... i’ve been feeling like it was kind of recent. like, ethereal had already formed or was right at the beginning of the four girls coming together. (i still gotta work out those kinks) but essentially she went to vegas and on a Wild night, married a stranger. all she remembers from the memory clips are they met at the casino, there’s a chapel, back in her hotel room, a charge on her credit card for the honeymoon room service package, and the next morning she woke up alone in bed with a huge fuckin headache and a cheap ring on her finger. she was 22 and dumb. but aint we all?? she’s still technically married, but does NOT wear a ring or talk at all about having a husband because she doesnt know the dude. like literally can’t find him lmao, can’t find him to get that shit annulled or file for divorce. therefore, technically married.

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS

i dont have a Ton but some that i’d love to have established are a mentor (probably someone who is older or more accustomed to fame), a roommate or ex-roommate (could be multiple), a celebrity crush (again, probably more fmaous), someone she tells everything to (they’d probably know about the vegas thing and her history regarding sexual assualt)

other than that, hmu or like this if u wanna plot??? im down for anything????

[heyyyalexa]

A Time Of Change - Chapter One - The Arrival

Title: A Time Of Change

Chapter: One- The Arrival

Summery: Ava Bradford is a former Behavioural Analyst of the Miami Police Department. After the events of the past force her to journey to England and take up a job away from the family she had created, she tries to start anew. At Scotland Yard, she struggles to keep to herself and her life under control, as her nightmares from her past come to haunt her once again.

Author: Alexa @alex-awesome1023

Words: 1986

Characters/Relationships: OC x Sherlock

Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Past Physical Abuse, Nightmares

Author’s Notes: Ok so this is my first ever Fanfic yay!!! Im super excited for you guys to read it. I’ve had long night and worked super hard with the help of Maddy and her wonderful patience and editing, she has been a super awesome teacher through his entire thing and a great new friend. Please let me know how you guys like it and what you think. There will be an update later on in the week of the next chapter. Love you guys!!!!! 

- Alexa 

Hey guys! This is Alexa’s very first fic and we are both super excited for you guys to see it!! Please let us know what you think about it by leaving us an ask in our inbox @sherlockxreader or even just reblogging it to another blog! We love hearing what you guys think of our fics so let us know!!!

- Maddy

Original Character Ava Bradford inspired by Zoey Deutch. Enjoy!❤

-----------------------------------------------------------

All I could hear was the pads of my feet smacking on the pavement as I ran. I felt the rain drops hit my face like daggers against my skin, the cold evening air shocking my throat and lungs as I inhale deeper, faster, harder. Holding my side, I try to stop the blood coming from the throbbing gash I had. Feeling the warm blood seep out of the exposed wound, I press my hand closer against my side to stop the free flowing surge of sticky blood, but wasn’t helping anymore. I ignore the ache in my muscles, the fog in my brain and I tell myself to keep going. I knew he was right behind me. My heart beats frantically, all or nothing. Fail and my whole body will pay the price, run and the damage is limited mostly to my shins and knees. My lungs and heart were pumping, but the air didn't seem to be enough as I sprinted forward, panic trembling into my exhausted limbs. I can hear his heavy steps pounding against the asphalt. His groans of infuriation. He's right behind me. I feel his hand on my shoulder...

You jerk awake as the train stopped. Your heart was pounding, your mind empty, clear of distractions, as if a needle of adrenaline had been emptied into your chest. You unconsciously reach for your locket around your neck, rubbing it between your forefinger and thumb.

Telling yourself that it was just a dream, you feel your breathing and heart rate begin to steady. You looked out the window, realizing where you were. Westminster, London. Your decision to move here was sudden but you were looking for something and ended up here. You had a purpose to fulfil, or at least you were trying to find one. Moving here was your first step to finding what you had been looking for a long time, what you were missing. The plus side was that there was a job opening and you had family here. Your Aunt Martha moved here after her husband faced the death penalty and you hadn't seen her in a few years so you were excited to see her.

You gathered your things and headed towards the metallic doors of the train. You stepped out of Westminster Station, filling your lungs with the London air. It was a cold, muggy and damp kind of air but it was better than the hot humidity of Florida. Determination drew itself on your face and you straighten your back and your eyes, though set, were still soft in their emerald brightness.

You pulled out the small piece of paper where you had written the phone number and street address you had gotten from your Aunt when she mentioned that one of her friends was trying to rent a flat. Even getting a special deal out of it because she had talked her friend into giving it to you half price if you could pay the first couple weeks rent up front.

With your luggage filled with the essentials, which pretty much meant that you stuffed everything you owned into a duffel bag and a rolling suitcase, you walked aimlessly around London. With your earbuds still in from the train ride you decided to turn up the volume, taking in the sights a bit and dwelling in your own little day dream for a little while. You were in London, finally. You could check it off your bucket list of places to go.

It was colder than you had expected but you found yourself relishing in the new climate. As a kid you loved the idea of winter and snow but you always got cold easily and had to bundle up in many layers to keep the weather at bay. You still do in fact. You had on your white, scoop neck t-shirt, covered by an oversized white knit sweater and your dad’s old denim jacket, which never failed to give you warmth. Paired with your thickest leggings and you favorite converse with polka dot laces, you managed not to shiver in the cool air of the city. (Picture not mine)

You had walked for a quite some time, taking pictures of everything that stood out to you in the foreign land and, when you stopped for some food at a nearby cafe, you looked to your watch, seeing that your inner wanderlust traveler had caused you to lose track of time. You began to head in the direction of where you thought you had come from, not looking at where you were walking as you used your phone as a GPS, until you were knocked over by a man running in the opposite direction. You fell to the ground and dropped your phone onto the pavement with a harsh sounding clatter.

"Ow!" You felt pain radiate from your arse and your face was twisted with it.

"Oh gosh, are you alright? I'm terribly sorry!" You heard the man ask from above you, his accent evident in his voice.

"Oh no don't be, I was the one not paying attention." You said as you stood back up looking down at your phone, facedown on the pavement. Wincing at the sight, you went to bend over to pick it up, but he beat you to it.

"Oh here, let me." He leaned down and retrieved your phone with delicate looking hands. His short brown hair was slicked back and his suit was obviously tailored expertly, the expensive fabric clinging nicely to his body. Great, I just had to walk into someone important.

"Oh um... Thanks." Your eyes narrowed suspiciously at his politeness, not quite used to people being so nice, but this was London, not Florida where the beaches were littered with cranky, old people in retirement who complain about the young folk and their habits.

He stood and looked at your phone, his dark eyes flickering to yours briefly. A feeling you weren't quite sure of stirred in your gut however you pushed that aside, anxious about the state of your phone.   

"Is it bad?" You questioned, scrunching up your nose and bracing yourself for the fact that you might have to buy a new phone, or a least repair the one you had, with the little money you had on your person.

He twisted the phone in his hands a few times before looking at you with a coy smirk upon his face. He handed you the phone.

"Not even a scratch." The Irish accent think in his voice.

"Oh thank God." Relief flooded through your body as you looked over the device and grasped the phone to your chest.

"I hope your first day in London wasn't ruined." You raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Did he find me? Already? Your eyes shifted as you felt your heart skip with anxiety but mentally, you shake your head and the thought away.

You looked down at your shoes and with a light laugh, peeked up at him through your lashes, a coy smile on your face. "Is it that obvious?"

He gestured toward your luggage. I really was stupid and paranoid for no reason, there’s no way he would have found me. Not this fast anyway. With a slightly mysterious grin and glint in his eye, he answered. "Well... I just know how to look at people."  

"Clearly. And you must be someone important, judging by your Westwood suit and uppity demeanor." You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest. You could tell he thought your comment clever by the way he raised his brow and curled his lips into a cheeky smile.

"Oh someone who knows their stuff, I like you already."

Stretching out your hand you introduced yourself. "Ava. It’s a pleasure make your acquaintance… um…"

“Jim." Taking your hand in his, he kissed your knuckles, at which you grinned and raised a brow It was obviously meant to be charming yet you saw through his mask when the corner of his lip twitched ever so slightly. So slightly that anyone else would have missed it entirely however, you weren’t just anyone else. Shaking your head, you cleared your mind. You weren’t working yet.

"Oh a lady-killer as well, uh?" You playfully ask.

"You have no idea. Are you here on business or pleasure?" He let go of your hand and stood straight again, his head cocked in curiosity. Choosing to ignore his comment you answered.

"Oh um, both I guess." You had always wanted to live here and it just so happens that there was an opening in your choice of work, but he didn’t need to know that. You heard a distant voice in your head, repeating words of advice. Remember, become anonymous as much as possible. No loose ends. Remember why you're here.

You were brought out of your thoughts when this man’s, Jim’s, phone began to play Staying Alive. His face dropped as he retrieved it from his pocket and answered the call. Putting it on hold he looked at you with a forced smile. "Well I must get going. As an important person, I'm very busy. Welcome to London." He said as he waved goodbye.

"Thank you. Bye!" You replied as you waved back and turned to walk away, curiosity getting the best of you as you kept him in the corner of your eye. You walked casually towards a nearby statue and hid behind it, peeking around the corner to see him as he brought the phone to his ear. He listened to whatever the other person was speaking about before he spoke back. Your eyes widen as you see his mask fall into an expression you can't explain. The soft and mischievous look in his eyes he had moments before had vanished, and were instead replaced with a clenched jaw and eyes as hard as the pavement below his feet, a face you had seen before in the past. Sending you to the dark corners of your mind, back to a weak, little child in a cramped, dark room, crying for her Mommy.

You closed your eyes as the memory flashes across your vision, clenching your fists as you felt your eyes begin to heat up with tears and your heart beat harder and faster. As you try to slow your breath down, you reached for your mothers necklace hanging around your neck and repeated the words like a mantra to calm the nightmares. “Stop. It’s not real, you’re fine. It’s….. Not real, not…. Anymore.” You say with a small quivering voice, tears begin to drip down your wind-bitten cheeks. You weren't in that room anymore, you are stronger than this. You weren't that little girl anymore.

Looking at your feet and taking a deep breath you felt yourself start to calm down. You put your  earbuds back in and found a song, the song, to drown out your own thoughts. You found your mother's favorite, Blackbird by The Beatles. It had always calmed you as a kid whenever you got scared or sick. Sometimes she would use it as lullaby to put you to sleep. Turning the music up as loud as you could take it, you leaned on the statue and just listened, letting your heart synchronize with the beat of the music and calming you down.

You walked towards the main road when you could breathe steadily again and hailed a taxi. You took out an ear bud as you heard the driver ask about where you were heading. Looking at the piece of paper you said the street address of where your new life was waiting to begin "Westminster Baker Street. 220B Baker Street please."

You see his eyes light up in the mirror looking at me with excitement "Oh, that's the street where Sherlock Holmes lives!"

You raise an eyebrow in question. "Who?"

[ontherockswithsalt]

Constant Craving - a Jamie/Noble something

/pt. 1/ /pt. 2/ /pt. 3/ /pt. 4/ /pt. 5/

A/N: Crying @ this thing having six parts. Ayyyeeyeee. But these two… I have a heart eye situation in the trash can here. Please enjoy the update!

“You smoke?” Noble flicks his open pack of Camels until the end of one jumps out.

I glance his way and shake my head. “No.”

He draws the cigarette out and props it between his lips. “Me neither,” he mumbles.

He was right about the balcony. It feels perfect outside where we sit after easily the best pasta I’d ever had. The hot summer air had found relief once the sun went down. And now the city night surrounds us, six floors above a hidden corner of Tribeca.

I watch as he flicks a flame alive with a plastic lighter and leans into it, sufficiently singeing the end of his smoke. Then he drops his lighter on the table in front of us.

“So have you stayed clean down in Florida?” I shift in my chair and clasping my fingers, raise my arms to rest them on my head.

He exhales a slow steady stream of smoke and looks over at me. “I feel like tonight is about honesty.”

“Maybe a little.”

“So not entirely,” he answers. “But. I haven’t had any more close calls. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

That protective impulse I have for him flaring in my chest, it disappoints me to know he still uses.

“I was given this… mandate,” he continues, “to start over. And it’s like, I never wanted to. When everything you know disappears, you’ll grasp for any piece of your former self. In Miami I just… feel like I’m drifting. No anchor.”

“What do you do down there? Who are you?”

The corner of his lips twitch as he closes them around the end of his cigarette, humming a soft laugh. “Im Nick Salcedo and I work for a landscaping company.”

My mouth opens, amused and I can feel the way my eyes light up. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he laughs.

“So you like… plant things–”

“I plant things.” He nods. “I cut things down. I get dirty.”

The mental image keeps the smile slanted across my face. “Wow,” I manage, reaching for my wine glass. “How’s that?”

He shrugs. “I hated it at first. But, it’s work.”

“Keeps you humble.”

“Keeps me with a good tan.” Glancing down, he twists his own forearm and I can’t argue with that.

“Alright, maybe not humble.”

He laughs, reaching for the bottle, the second we’ve opened tonight, and refills his glass.

“Nick Salcedo,” I wonder aloud, chuckling to myself. “I’d be pretty bummed if I had a name like Noble Sanfino and I didn’t get to use it.” I tip my glass and another sip of wine warms my throat before I exhale a hot breath. “It’s a pretty dope name.”

Noble sputters an unsuspecting laugh. “You can call me by my pretty dope name.”

“I will. Except when I need you to come water my plants, I’ll call Nick.”

Cheeks hollowing with a thoughtful drag from his smoke, he reaches out to jab his fist against my shoulder. “Shut up.”

“But seriously, you realize you being here could get you in major trouble.”

He looks at me, his hand holding the cigarette lingering close to his mouth where he lightly scratches his thumb across his lower lip. “Yeah, it’s definitely getting me in some trouble,” he murmurs.

My heart thuds. My face feels so damn hot. But my head is heavy from intoxicated buzz, too cloudy to reason with myself. So instead, what surfaces is the unmistakable pull I feel for him and I slink down in my chair, resting my head back. “Me too.”

“I thought I lost everyone in New York. How am I supposed to go back now?”

“Believe me, I wish that wasn’t your reality.”

He tips his head back, resting his cigarette between his lips before he mutters up to the sky, “Because you’re kind of a fucking dreamboat.”

A smile plays at my lips and I have to let out a lazy chuckle. “Yeah?”

He laughs to himself, sipping a quick drag from his cigarette before he lowers his hand. Then I watch him close his eyes, groaning his weary complaint, “Fuck me.”

I manage a deep inhale of fresh air but it doesn’t clear away the dizzy feeling behind my eyes. I close them to ease the sensation. “You know that song? That’s like, the magnet of truth?”

“What?”

“No–” I start again, squeezing one eye shut while I attempt to think. “The song about… like, your soul finding the truth.”

“I don’t know but it sounds really shitty.”

“You know!” I insist. And then I just mumble in some vague sing-song until Noble cracks up into his glass of wine. I hum a few more random notes before snapping my fingers once. “Constant Craving.”

“No. Sing more of it.”

A drunk laugh sputters in my throat and I reach over where I rest a hand on his head. “Shut up.” My fingertips dig into his thick wavy hair before I grasp it gently.

Barely a rasp of a sigh escapes him and I don’t miss it. It feels good, my hand in his hair and with grazing fingers, I let it settle there while I keep rambling.

“My point is maybe you’re supposed to like, you know, find out who you really are down there. Maybe you're being... led to your truth.”

He lets out an even breath and furrows his brow. “Find out who I am in a life that’s not mine.”

“Your life here wasn’t yours,” I reason. “You were trapped. You can make your life what you want now. But you’ve got to play by the rules.”

“Play by the rules. And stay away from New York, you mean,” he murmurs before adding, “You know that feels really fucking good, by the way.”

I swallow hard, not knowing what to do with this conflicted tug in my chest as if suddenly the idea of him leaving New York has some effect on me. “Yeah,” I sigh, my touch combing absently back and forth. “I mean, if you want to break the rules and come back just to get me drunk and make food for me to eat, then that would be an exception.”

He points. “I didn’t get you drunk.” 

“I got myself drunk.” I left my hand fall away from his head and pick up my glass to finish off what’s inside.

“I’d be pretty content living that life.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t seem like a bad deal.”

“But I guess there’s people here who want me dead, so–”

I set my glass down and run a hand over my tingling face, willing some sensation there. “I’ll kick their ass if they try.”

Noble’s cheek tugs up with a smirk as he shifts to crush his cigarette out in the ceramic dish on the table. “You’re so wasted. I can’t take you anywhere.”

“That wine fucked me up, I’m not gonna lie.”

“Go to bed, dude. Take the extra room.”

I consider it. And while I want to sit with him and listen to him talk all night, I’m about ten seconds away from passing out on the nearest surface. The idea of enduring a cab ride to Brooklyn sounds impossible.

“Sweet,” is all I manage before I ease back and feel my heavy eyes shut.