#when i got my blind channel hoodie two years ago now i got it as a special early christmas gift for myself

[variuss-petals]

whenever i find myself genuinely wanting band merch i feel angry because i remember kids online telling me i wasn't a real fan cos i didn't have albums or merch, like excuse me, jessipher, the hoodie i want costs more than 50 euros, i can't grow money in my garden, leave me alone, in the end i always just end up feeling guilty for wanting anything at all

[whaleofatjme1920]

In a Mirror Image (Eyeless Jack X F!Reader)

🌸 In a Mirror Image

[Eyeless Jack X F!Reader]

[Warnings: blood, language, cheating (both physical but it's not like, in your face, and emotional)]

Part 1

The flowers that grow like weeds in your lungs bloom thicker and thicker every day. Your vision clouds with blue more often than not, and you can’t think about anything but the blossoms and blood that paint the bathroom with a hue you’re already much too used to. It’s a painful existence, and it’s getting worse. One of the most wretched parts? You’re deteriorating so fast that your vision no longer services you. You are blind, unrendered to see. You still choose to live in a delusion, and you are amongst the only who choose not to acknowledge it.

By now, everyone knows but only one other than you refuses to acknowledge it.

You hear Hoodie arguing with Jack more often than not. It seems the blond haired proxy is angry over what Jack has done to you and because he knows what Hanahaki does to those it takes root in.

“You’ll fucking kill her,” Hoodie seethes as he gets in Jack’s face for the fourth time this weekend. “Look at her-”

“I am!” Jack shot back, his arms crossing defensively over his chest. “Who are you to come in here and speculate on something that you’re not a part of?” He growls. Normally, Jack likes talking to Hoodie, but not when Hoodie’s on a mission to prove Jack a sinner.

“I wasn’t even aware you still had one,” Hoodie retorts through grit teeth. “I can’t believe you. Look at the flowers Ja-” and before he can continue tearing into Jack, he hears your bedroom door open.

While you still share the room with Jack, neither of you are in it at the same time. You’ve taken residence up on the living room couch with Kate and Jack more often than not stays with Leia. The room you share is usually empty, much like your heart.

“Hey there, buttercup,” Hoodie suddenly greets you as you tiredly walk into the kitchen where the two men had previously been in a standoff. “Did you sleep okay?” He asks, voice so much softer and gentler with you than what he had just been using.

You shake your head as you take a seat at the table. “I can’t sleep,” you say.

Hoodie’s brows furrow in sympathy before they knit in frustration when Jack sits next to you. He watches as Jack snakes his arm around you before he presses an empty kiss to the side of your head.

“No?” Jack says in a sickly saccharine tone. “I’ll see what I can do about that. Does that sound good to you?”

You nod slightly, the ghost of a smile on your lips. “That sounds good,” you murmur back.

“Anything for you,” he hums as he pulls you in closer to his side.

“You disgust me,” Hoodie hisses to Jack as he gets up and pushes in his chair roughly, making the table bounce. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Jack for a second as he leaves, roughly slamming the front door behind him.

“What was that about?” You ask, feigning innocence. You refuse to open your eyes to the situation you are in.

“He’s having a bad day,” Jack answers. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he hums as he presses another kiss to the side of your head.

The butterflies in your stomach are dead, but the flowers blood evermore.

“You’re still sleeping out here?” Kate hums as she takes a seat next to you on the couch. She looks exhausted and she’s covered in blood. Her mask is cracked too.

“I guess,” you yawn as you shift slightly from your not so comfortable position. “How has your day been?” You ask as you reach for a glass of water only to see it’s not there.

“Let me,” Kate says as she gets up once more. She knows you’re getting worse. After getting you a bottle of water from the fridge, she comes back to your side. “I’ve had a busy day. Met with an independent named Nyein. They remind me of a big cat,” she finally answers as she opens the water bottle for you.

You take it and begin to slowly sip from it - it stops the flowers from blooming ever so slightly. Your airway opens just a little bit. “Do they now?”

Kate nods as she flips mindlessly through the channels. “They said they’re falling in love with a human. Bad business,” Kate winces, her dark eyes watching you carefully. “I hope they don’t…”

“It’s bad business,” you suddenly say as you feel petals fill your mouth. You cough slightly and the small little forget-me-nots fall into your lap, thankfully free of blood this time. You take one of the flowers into your fingertips and observe it gently. “I hope they’re okay.”

Kate puts her hand on your thigh, lightly squeezing before finally settling on the early evening news. “You wanna burn these blue fuckers?” She asks as the flowers in your lap remain stagnant save for the buds that unfurl at an alarmingly fast pace.

You feel the corners of your lips curl into a smile. “Yes.”

Morbid, your flowers have been springing up everywhere. They’ve infested the temporary house. So, you and Kate went around the place, plucking every single one before starting a bonfire in the backyard.

Toby, who considers himself a bit of a pyromaniac, was immediately summoned by the fire the two of you had cast in the backyard. He’d been out on a grocery run, and honestly, he had wanted to get out of the house.

The dynamics of the house had become uncomfortable to him. What with Leia and Jack sneaking off together and you coughing up a full greenhouse, he has been stressed. Toby can’t stand Jack and Hoodie arguing all the time as it reminds him of the life he tried to escape, and Masky can offer so much but ever since he renounced his love for Jay by force… It’s been hard. Toby knows it’s been hard for everyone involved.

He crosses through the house, sneers at Leia’s room, and then exits through the back to the scent of fire. He sees Kate’s arm around you as the fire blazes slightly blue.

“W-What are you g-gals up to?” He asks, coming to your other side so you remain in the middle.

“Burning stuff,” Kate nonchalantly replies. “You care to chuck anything in?”

Toby glances at you as you struggle to keep air in your lungs. “If I d-d-did, I’d be u-under c-charge for killing a-a-another under the O-Operator’s care,” he muses. He’s referring to Jack, of course. He takes in the scent of burning plant matter and blood and frowns when he remembers it’s yours. His hand reaches yours and squeezes gently.

You squeeze back.

Your experiences with Leia are lukewarm at best, and cold at worst. She’s something, she really is something. There’s moments when no one is in the temp house with you except for her alongside you, and those moments are tense, sharp, like a knife and burn colder than the depths of the sea.

The most memorable conversation you’ve ever had was the one that triggered a domino effect that would lead to a black hole in your chest.

“You’re still up?” Leia’s honeyed voice questions softly as she takes a seat across from you on the back porch at the glass table.

You find it more stifling inside so you choose to spend your time out. The weather is warm, afterall. The sun shines and fluffy clouds the size of whales swim overhead. You have a glass of pink lemonade made from a pouch Hoodie and Kate had picked up earlier. You find that the tang is enough to keep the flowers down.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” You say in passing before you sip from the glass. You enjoy watching the rabbits in the backyard. They hop around without a care in the world.

She begins to thread her fingers through her long silver hair, braiding it. “I just think you should be resting,” she says. “You look so tired these days-”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Touched a nerve,” she sighs. “You know you’re getting worse, right?”

You shoot her a glare, but you know she’s right. You’ve actually been holding out surprisingly longer than most people with Hanahaki Disease. Most people succumb to it within a few weeks of coughing, but you’ve managed to hold out for damn near an entire year. That’s almost unheard of. You’ve been hacking up flowers, their stems, roots and blood ever since Leia came into your life.

Everyone tells you that you’re getting worse, but you should have been dead months ago.

“Stop it,” you growl.

“You’re killing yourself,” she continues. “You could just… Let it all go, y’know?” She hums as she continues to fishtail her silver strands. “Renounce your feelings for him and save yourself.”

You grip your glass and set it back down roughly on the table. “That is literally none of your concern,” you repeat, eyes narrowing at the blue eyed beauty across from you. “Acting like you care-”

“I do, though,” she cuts you off. “I know that the Slender Man has big plans for you, but with you wasting away like this… You’ll never live long enough to see them through.” She flashes you a look of concern, but you can tell it’s fake. It shines like pyrite.

“What, so you can take my place just like that?” You bite back. “You can’t even wait until I’m fucking dead?”

Leia giggles and you hate to admit that it sounds pretty. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Daddy always did say I got what I wanted.” Her eyes drift off and you’re able to see she’s no longer thinking about you, but someone who once loved her. She finishes the braid. “Happy six years to you and Jack. Give him all my regards, won’t you?” She stands up, eyes the rabbits feasting on the clover in the grass, before she plucks your half empty glass from in front of you.

“Leia-!”

“It’s not like you need it,” she chuckles.

“It’s a special day,” you said to Masky, a small smile on your face. “It’s our six year anniversary.” Your posture changes to attention as he closes the door softly behind him. He still smells like cigarettes, but it’s a pleasant scent you’ve found comfort in where others find it a nuisance.

Masky put a smile on his face but it didn't reach his eyes. “You need me to draw a portal or something for you?” He holds his arms open to you as you fall into them, part because you’re so weak and secondly because he knows you need the affection - even if he can’t feel it.

You feel light come to your eyes as you nod after leaving a note for Jack in your shared room on his nightstand.

‘Dear Jack, happy six years! I’d wait for you to get back, but I have a surprise for you at the field you gifted to me for our first anniversary. I await you with happiness. Love, R.’

Masky drew the portal in the living room, a mess of swirling cloud-like silvers and blacks before he laid eyes upon the place you once shared only with Jack. “It’s super pretty,” he says, dark eyes scanning over all the wildflowers. There’s weeds on the path, like no one has cared for it in a while. ‘How poetic,’ he thinks. ‘It’s an allegory for your decayed relationship with Jack.’

“No it’s not,” you giggle as you bring Masky down one of the weed and chicory covered paths to the gazebo. “But it’s special to me,” you hum as you take a seat.

Masky follows beside you. He doesn’t take a seat, mostly feeling it wrong to impose on a space that is Jack’s despite his respect for him falling so far from what it used to be, but takes in the scent of dying flowers all the same. It’s summer, and instead of the sun warming the soft petals, it’s burning them. When you cough up more flowers while waiting for the man who still holds your heart (and refuses to return it) you’re less than pleased to see that they blend in with the untamed mosaic.

“Are you still tired?” Masky asks softly as he lights up a cigarette. “You can rest, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

You glance over to Masky before you rest your head in your hands, wondering where your lover is. You listen to the wind as it blows through the leaves. You listen to Masky’s hum, and eventually, you fall asleep.

You wake back up sometime during the night in your bed and not in a position you normally sleep in. It looks like whoever delivered you back here was extra careful with handling you. You only wake up because Jack has accidentally turned on the light.

“Shit, my bad,” he apologizes, quickly plunging the room back into darkness. “Did I wake you?” He knows he did.

“No,” you lie. “I couldn’t sleep anyways.” That was the most rest you’ve had in months. “Where have you been?” You ask quietly, still choosing to remain buried in the sheets.

Jack slides into bed next to you and gets comfortable. He smells like perfume you don’t wear. Through the faint light of the hallway that peeks under your door, you can see he’s got dark marks on his neck and jaw. “Leia wanted to show me her childhood home. Place isn’t run by Zalgo anymore, so we took a trip out there.”

“Did you now?” You hum as you feel tears prick your eyes.

Jack can see you in the dark. His vision at night far surpasses a human’s. He just chooses not to acknowledge it. Jack knows that his relationship with you is gone, and that you’ve been coughing up flowers for the past year. He knows, and it hurts him. Hurts him deeply that he’s the one causing you such pain, but at the same time, he’s a coward. He chooses not to let you go cleanly because his relationship with Leia is so finite.

He knows she only wants him because at the time he was unattainable. Now that she has him, it is only a matter of time until she does to him what he’s done to you. He understands that fully, but he refuses to leave the safety net that is you because he is selfish. His feelings for you aren’t nonexistent, but it’s that kind of fondness one has after the deed has been done, a love based on past memory and sentiment rather than what will and can be. It has reached his threshold, and you both are too caught up in security rather than what is healthy.

“I did,” he says as his mind rushes a mile a minute. “What did you do today?”

You wonder if you should answer that honestly or not. Would he even care? “I stayed here today, nothing special.” You feel the flowers unfurling in your lungs.

Jack hums once more, his back now facing you as he slowly succumbs to sleep.

You met Masky in the bathroom again, hacking your lungs and more of those fucking flowers up into the bathrub and the sink. Hell, you even got some in the toilet. Your body is growing weaker and weaker by the day. The fact you’ve held out for a year is astronomical, but you know you’ll be being taken from it eventually. No one survives Hanahaki when their lover’s feelings aren’t returned. It either gets returned, or you lose them all entirely.

He almost lost you. You broke the mirror when your body went limp as the vines and flowers crawled out from your lungs, through your esophagus and out of your mouth. If it was an art installation piece, Masky might’ve thought it beautiful, but the fact you went cold and limp and the flowers were blooming at a rapid pace - one he thought he couldn’t keep up with.

Masky, despite not being able to really feel anything, panicked as he took you into his arms. Did he genuinely care for you? No, but he cared to whatever extent the surgery left him with. He fretted because you are under his direct care. He cared so deeply because he too had seen many good proxies and independents lost to it. He cared because a part of him remembered what it was like to have daisies and rhododendrons fill his lungs. Normally, you only have one type of flower to clutter your lungs. Science says “just because.” An old wives’ tale says “love truly lost.” In his case? Jay’s death. Nothing was the same after that.

Masky took no hesitation in scooping you up into his arms and running out of the house to the forest to be closer to his boss’s energy. The Operator could fix this should he will it. He didn’t care that the lights in the house went on from his concerned proxies - the ones who had been sick over what befell you since you came into their care. He didn’t dare let you go as he trampled through the brush in the dead of night, using only the moon.

“Sir!” He calls out frantically. “Sir! I need your help!” He can hear your heart get slower and slower.

And just like that, the devoted father came to his child’s cry.

“My child,” he greets, instantly swooping down to look at your pained, flowery visage. “Did I not tell you to handle this?” He chides softly as he takes you into his arms. The sound of static only grows louder and louder.

“I thought she could,” he says, his tone clearly apologetic. “Please, just… Just fix this for me.” He watches the Operator closely as the tall man holds you in his arms.

While you are not exactly his child directly, you are also still under his care. Leia did not lie that the Operator sees good things for you. Without any other words, the tall man is gone, giving you to gods know who to perform a surgery that should be considered the only humane way out.

He returns to the house where Hoodie, Kate and Toby eagerly awaited him, clamoring around him and pecking like hens wondering where you are. He says that you’re in the hands of a god.

You floated in the ether, your body a galaxy. You watched as your chest was torn open - looked like by the hands of an independent that had talons to rival an eagle.

‘There’s so much,’ she says, her mouth turning into a frown as she worked on carefully removing the clusters of flowers. ‘How is she not dead?’

The Slender Man continues to observe, not offering the doctor any words.

The spirals and swirls inside of you continue to swirl before the flowers get torn out, one by one. The roots that cling to your lungs are stubborn, but with every single one removed, the lights of a different universe go out. Snuffed. Lost. The cavity in your chest grows wider until it births a black hole.

‘How much longer?’ The Slender Man asks, watching as the independent calls in another to help her rid your body of weeds.

She shakes her head as she continues to root them out. They bloom under her touch. ‘I have no idea - she must’ve felt so strongly-’

‘They just keep coming up, Sir,’ the other interjects, her four eyes scanning you rapidly.

The black hole begins to suck up the stars and nebulas that comprise your system. It feasts on you, making every part of what made you you, disappear in its depths. It grows larger as it consumes you. It grows heavier. It grows more powerful.

‘We’re almost there,’ the taloned independent says, her wings fluttering softly to emphasize her point. ‘I’ve never seen it this bad before.’

‘Fix this,’ the Slender Man seethes, his patience wearing thin. He knows your body will not be able to handle this much longer.

The black hole reaches its mass, and slowly, it begins to consume you. It overtakes you, bathes you, and leaves nothing left when it has taken all that it can. Your body is empty. You are a shell. Glimpses of blue, grey and reddish brown flash in your mind’s eye and through the eye of the black hole, but you cannot place the feelings you used to associate with them. You remember, but you do not feel.

The last of the flowers are pulled. The taloned independent is exhausted, and her partner is just as tired. ‘Good fucking lord,’ she breathes out, exhausted from the late night gardening session. ‘In all my years I have never seen that awful disease take hold of an individual that bad,’ she notes. Her bird-like eyes watch over your open chest to make sure they’ve fully cleared it out.

A single forget-me-not sprouts, and the Slender Man is the one who plucks it. Just like that, the flowers, their roots, all evidence you’d ever had life inside of you, is gone. Withered and wilted away.

The black hole takes all that you have to offer, and you are back to consciousness, no longer floating, no longer a home to the vibrancy of the universe.

What came after was a bit of a blur. The Slender Man had brought you back to the safe house you had called your home for the past year surprised to see that some of his favored children were still away, waiting for you as the light of the sun rose over the grass. It was a new dawn.

“How is she?” Hoodie asked, immediately springing up.

“Fixed,” was all the Slender Man said, his gaze shifting from you to your group’s leader. “Masky, I’m entrusting you to watch over her as you have been through something similar.”

“Of course,” the dark eyed man says as he takes you gingerly into his arms. “I wouldn’t trust her with anyone else.”

“One last thing,” the tall man in a suit hums. “I am taking Eyeless Jack from this house. Leia will stay with him.”

“It’s probably for the best. We trust your judgment,” Masky replies.

The Slender Man’s head gently cups Masky’s cheek before he leaves them with the sound of static that dissipates as fast as it appeared.

You spent the first few days after your surgery under bed rest. The Slender Man had healed you but he still worried for the state of your lungs. You needed the rest, and you were pleased to have it. Other than that, you felt… nothing. You were numb. Fleeting feelings of happiness or thankfulness, maybe something melancholic would slip through but ultimately, you were nowhere near your old self.

Jack was not allowed anywhere near you. That was one of the first instructions given to him when the Slender Man had popped into his head. While he did not have an opinion on Jack’s unfaithful behavior, he was more displeased with the fact he’d kickstarted the disease in you. The Slender Man thought that if he started it in Leia, then perhaps everything would turn out alright.

So, he sent the two out with a different group - which mostly meant Jeff, someone the Slender Man knew detested behavior that Jack had committed.

It was not easy for Jack to share the same space with Jeff after word had gotten out about you.

“You’re my best friend,” Jeff had sighed one late afternoon, refusing to even acknowledge Leia in the room. “But that? That was fucked up.”

Jack hummed and kept his gaze on Leia, who looked at him with nothing short of adoration. “Sure.”

Jeff sighed once more and stood up. “You don’t feel an inch bad, do you?”

“No.”

“You’re a shitty guy but you’re an even shittier liar.” Jeff broke the door with how hard he’d slammed it on his way out.

Jack really wasn’t the same, that much was apparent. He’d slowly been becoming more withdrawn and quicker to agitation. Of course, he’d take it out on whoever was around to deal with it. Leia included - it just came in a different form. One in which she’d never complained. But when things were rough between them, things were rough.

Jeff could hardly stand the two most days, so when he’d sneak out, it was with his dog to come pay a visit with you. And he hated how dull you had become.

“Masky used to be a lot more personable,” Jeff would say. “Life of the party when we could get him out of his pseudo-philosophical bullshit. Then he hurled flowers and we knew something was wrong.” Jeff’s hand rubs your back gently as a sign of friendship.

“And then?”

“Then he got that stupid surgery and now he’s just existing. No further purpose, just existing because some pale guy says so for his benefit.” Jeff huffed and looked up at the setting sun.

You found your gaze following his.

“What you’re doing right now,” he began. “It’s no way to live.”

“Would you have rather I’d succumbed to it?” You asked, not adding any inflection to whether you’re happy or sad, hurt or even offended.

“In all honesty?” Jeff tore his eyes from the pink and blue sky. “Yeah. This,” he gestured to you. “This isn’t you.”

Everything you’re supposed to feel feels dampened. Instead, you nodded. “Note taken.”

Jeff frowned.

The first time Jack was able to see you after your surgery was nearing halfway to what would have been seven months. It’d been a rough time without him seeing you, mostly because the guilt had been devouring every humanity he had left. Nothing could fill the void.

Like the first time you had met him, it was an accident when you crossed paths once again. You had been clearing out a house one fine winter’s evening, doing what had been asked of you before you got the faintest scent of something familiar and something you once recognized as comforting. You furrow your brows, weapon at your hip as you slowly and quietly come down the stairs.

Your lips are pressed into a thin line as you peer into the living room. Snow falls outside the window.

“Reader?” A male voice asks, turning around from the hallway. “Is that you?”

You tilt your head slightly as you register the mask you’re looking at. Eyeless Jack, mostly just known as ‘EJ’ or ‘Jack’. You’ve never really spent any time with him though outside of little jobs, so you have no idea who this is or why he sounds so happy to see you.

“Uh, hi, EJ?” You say as you walk at a leisurely pace down the stairs.

Jack freezes momentarily as he comes to greet you in the living room. He’d almost forgotten that when the flowers are removed, so too are the memories alongside feelings.”It’s… It’s good to see you,” he says as he looks down at you, wondering if he should touch you or not.

“I guess it’s nice to see you too,” you say. “What are you doing in this area?” You inquire. You vaguely remember the Slender Man not wanting you two to be in the same area.

“Just out and about,” he answers as he scratches at the back of his neck. “Leia wanted to uh, hunt down some of her sisters - I - it doesn’t matter,” he suddenly finishes, feeling much too awkward to even look at you. He knows you don’t remember, but he certainly does. Looking at you… He has a fresh slate.

“That’s nice,” you say in a tone that’s clearly disinterested. You walk towards the living room windows and look into what is now a cold winter’s night. You can see the snow still falling. If you want to make it back to Masky before he gets worried, you’ll need to head out almost immediately. “Pretty, isn’t it?”

Jack slowly comes to your side and puts his attention on you, watching as the snow continues to fall. “Yeah, the prettiest,” he says softly, desperately trying in vain to hold back on scooping you into his arms. There’s something scratching at the back of his throat.

You nod once again and zip up your coat. “They’re expecting me,” you say, gearing up to brave the snow.

“Do you need any-”

“No,” you cut him off. You’re not sure why it comes out so harshly, but you figure it must be a remnant of a memory you no longer have access to. “I can manage on my own.” You brush past him and open the front door, eyes momentarily clamping shut at how cold it is before you step onto the porch. The sound of the crunching snow is satisfying.

“Stay safe out there,” Jack says softly, not moving from his place as he continues to gaze out the window at the falling snow.

You turn your head briefly over your shoulder, “and you as well.”

Jack hears the door close and you walk off into the night, back to a group he was barred from. That tickling in the back of his throat grows more and more prevalent until he clears his throat. Feels like there’s something on his tongue. He coughs a few more times before holding his hands in front of his mouth, displeased to see the small blue petals he knows will bloom to full flowers in a time frame that is too long to be considered fair.

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy chapter 246; the icon of the Ainu indeed

Well it is that time again, time to dig into the most recent chapter of GK for some meta thoughts and Ogata comments of course.  The chapter starts off with the continued brawl between Sugimoto and Ushiyama which Sugimoto is definitely losing despite his killer efforts.  See those white eyes on the title page.

But knee to the face only results in less than a reaction from Ushiyama as he blows the blood out of his nose and pulls his head back up.

The chapter title has been translated as the “icon” of the Ainu which will become important as events progress.

Shiraishi desperately calls for someone to stop them and Boutarou shows a hidden strength as he hits Ushiyama in the head with a table as he yells at Ushiyama.  Ushiyama is pleasant enough in calling him a pirate and remarks that it has been awhile before he flings him into the wall upside down.  A rather dejected looking Boutarou remarks to Shiraishi that it didn’t work.

Trying to stop the insanity, Kadokura, of all people runs into action but gets tripped up on his fancy monk footwear.  Thankfully, his fellow ‘old man club’ member Kirawus comes to check in on him asking if he’s alright and Kadokura suspects he sprained his ankle.  Toni adds in color commentary that he’s wondering why the two of them even came to Sapporo.

The fact that Toni is questioning their presence tells me that both of these men are definitely hiding something that will come into play in the future.  I already previously wrote a meta stating that I’m suspicious of Kirawus and his possible involvement in the gold since he’s older, single and his forehead is always covered.  Kadokura’s ‘thing’ is that he’s inept and has bad luck, but Hijikata likely knows more and he’s not a loser per se.  He’s been able to pull of many things including making sure that his own men at Abashiri couldn’t interfere with the plans to rescue the fake Wilk (which he clearly knew was fake).  If he were as inept as he’s implied to be, he would have died years ago.  He’s fronting a bit in my opinion.

Hijikata then approaches and tells Ushiyama to get out of the way so he can shoot (and kill) Sugimoto finally.  Of course, Asirpa intervenes to prevent any further conflict while Ushiyama proceeds to own Sugimoto in the background. She confidently stands before Hijikata and gestures with her left hand reaching out to halt Hijikata.  She is in a complete ‘power pose’ as she stands between the rifle and the tussle behind her.  There is a close up on her determined and calm face which is then looked at by Hijikata.

Really, I feel like this is back to channeling the ‘Asirpa as Jesus’ vibe.  She is intervening in a situation in a calm and non-offensive manner.  Her determined facial expression has a level of maturity that we haven’t seen before and you know Hijikata is sizing her up.

The next page already shows Hijikata has lowered his rifle and now is covering his wound in his upper left arm with his free hand while Asirpa stands before him with closed fists.  Sugimoto and Ushiyama are still fighting and Kadokura springs into action.  First off, he highlights that if they don’t stop fighting the police will come.  And if the police come the 7th won’t be far behind which would be a bad thing.

Additionally, in order to make sure that their entire group is together, he orders Kirawus to find Ariko and Ogata to make sure that they are able to safely retreat and not attract too much attention.  Kadokura is not a real loser, just his own flavor of loser.

This statement clearly gets Sugimoto’s attention as he asks “Ogata?” while still fighting with Ushiyama.  This completely distracts Sugimoto as Ushiyama begins to put him in a tight arm lock and he starts shouting at Vasily aka hood guy (hoodie-chan in Japanese) that Ogata is there which falls upon deaf ears so to speak.

Sure enough, Ogata is back on his game and he’s clearly been well aware of the current events for some time from his ideal fire tower sniper location.  He’s modified his use of binoculars for his single left eye and some of his fake mustache remains painted on his face from his ironic disguise.  He simply threw his handy cloak over his commoners clothing which was seen in chapter 240.

Here is his commoner outfit from 240.

I am curious where he had his rifle and cloak?  As he has clearly stated that one never leaves one’s rifle more than an arm’s length away (unless naked, then in the general bath is good enough).  I would assume with his neurotic tendencies the rifle and cloak are inside of the Yuusaku themed puppet which he has ditched somewhere to quickly climb to his clutch location to watch things as they unfold.

He is able to spot Asirpa in the mix of things as she turns around to look at Sugimoto who is desperately trying to communicate to Vasily that Ogata is nearby.  After what I would say was an embarrassingly long amount of shouting by Sugimoto, he finally manages to produce one of Vasily’s drawings of Ogata to get his point across.  I’m really unsure why Sugimoto would have Vasily’s drawing of Ogata unless it is his only option since Ogata likely did not have his photo taken at the studio.  Vasily again takes a few minutes to put things together, but once it sinks in he is beyond excited.  I find Vasily’s reaction to be out of character, he is a man who is a cold blooded sniper who let his friend Ilya die so that he could pursue Ogata, yet he’s shown to be flustered, so much so that he grabs Sugimoto’s rifle.

So not only does he grab Sugimoto’s rifle but he’s going to have an issue when it comes to firing it.   I’m going to assume that Sugimoto got a type 38 from Tsurumi when he went to ‘rescue’ Asirpa which takes the 6.5x50mm Arisaka cartridge.  Unless he’s changed his own beloved sniper rifle, Vasily should still be using a Mosin-Nagant which would use a so called ‘7.62 Russian’ cartridge.  Therefore, Vasily is going to have to either hope that Sugimoto has left his rifle loaded, with the safety on, or he’s going to have to calm down and take his own Mosin-Nagant.  But the fact that he has grabbed some ‘spoons to go’ tells me that he isn’t thinking very clearly.

Now, let’s pause for a moment and ponder if Sugimoto’s rifle is loaded.  When we first met him panning for gold, our first convict pulled his own rifle on him but was unable to shoot due to the safety being on.  This would imply that Sugimoto kept it loaded.    In chapter 235, our postman from hell is able to use Sugimoto’s rifle and sure enough he fires off most of the shots and this also implies that it is loaded at all times.

Of course in direct contrast to Sugimoto’s reckless rifle use, is Ogata’s anal retentive rifle care and use (and more care!).  When the group were at the hot springs during the new moon attack, Ogata had his rifle stashed away in the corner as well as a single cartridge.  As he had to load the cartridge while pursing Toni and his gang, it is clear that he does not keep his rifle loaded at all times. It is clear that when he goes into action or needs to be on guard he clearly has his rifle loaded.  But when they are in more public places and his plan of action would be to find a nice place to snipe from he likely uses his time to get into position to load his rifle and ready himself, since it isn’t a rushed situation.  Due to his extreme skill with the rifle, I’m under the indication that Ogata feels comfortable enough to have time to load his rifle with little effort if he needed to when a situation takes a turn for the worse.

Okay so back to the action - I’ll say that ‘borrowing’ Sugimoto’s rifle isn’t a bad idea since it is likely loaded, which makes Sugimoto’s use of fighting with the rifle even more terrifying; what would happen if he knocked the safety loose?  And yet again, I can hear Ogata’s voice scolding Sugimoto for leaving his rifle unattended.  In an even more scolding and disappointing voice, Ogata is berating Vasily for not having his trusty and familiar Mosin-Nagant ready to re-start their sniper battle.

All in all, Vasily’s entire reaction is completely out of character and confuses me.  This is not the man who tried to draw Ogata out so that he could continue their sniper battle here.

And again, even though I said it in my meta before, I’ll say it again. 

Vasily, you lost.

With Vasily off to find an adequate location to continue where he left off with Ogata, the action moves directly to our wildcat sniper himself.

Asirpa has now turned away from Ogata’s direction and he puts his binoculars down.  He holds his rifle ready as he vocalizes his thoughts aloud, a very unusual situation for Ogata.  When Ogata was sniping Tanigaki with Nikaido he was relatively chatty with him, but this served a purpose, he was telling Nikaido what he was doing and why he was doing it.  Once he set Nikaido up as bait, and he settled down to his true sniping position we only get his inner dialogue.  In Barato, he didn’t order the other men in the battle until he had given away his sniping position on the fire tower.  At the hot springs he had inner dialogue as he snipes the blind bandits.  Interestingly, during his sniper battle with Vasily, we do get a few lines of spoken dialogue from Ogata.

First off, he states that one of the major merits of a sniper is to be so cautious that he’s almost a coward as he must be afraid to give away his location in order to succeed.

After a few pages, he then follows up with the following remark on Vasily’s dedication to his sniping.  Kiro killed and seriously wounded the other border guards, but Vasily could care less, he’s sniping and nothing will come between him and getting his target.

I personally realized that this spoken dialogue is incredibly out of character for Ogata during the sniper battle. We do not get speaking from him during a serious sniping situation.  I can see two reasons for this:  i.) the rest of the page is covered with Vasily’s internal monologue about sniping.  It very well may have been an editorial decision to have Ogata speak on both of these pages just so that the poor reader wouldn’t get lost between Vasily’s and Ogata’s thoughts as they describe each other during their set up.  It would also give more weight and importance to Ogata’s thoughts on things if he says them directly to us, the readers.   ii.) Ogata feels safe enough to vocalize this before things get serious.  When Vasily doesn’t respond to the dead and dying man, Ogata knows what type of sniper he is and promptly shuts up.  This may have added to the drama as we see Ogata’s breath clearly on the second image above which meant he didn’t start eating snow until he realized that’s how serious things were going to get with Vasily.

And with that Ogata is 100% back in character silently sniping away.  The rest of their sniper battle is full of Vasily’s inner dialogue and we get no additional dialogue of any sort from Ogata until he makes his mark.

Back to the current chapter, Ogata is aimed towards Asirpa.  He’s got a clean shot at her.

He mulls aloud that “If I did this. . . . [shot Asirpa] I bet it would really throw things into chaos.” followed by a rather flat sounding “ha hah”.  The final bottom panel zooms out to reveal the boots and pants of what appears to be an officer’s uniform.

So this entire page is showing so many things.  Ogata is recognizing the power that he could have over the hunt for the gold.  He’s in a unique position to silence the most powerful person in the entire quest, Asirpa.  Yet, even as he states this aloud to no one but himself, it seems to invoke Yuusaku and the guilt associated with him.  Ogata completely hesitates this entire page.  He puts the binoculars down, states the obvious and then holds his rifle at ready.

The readers are already shown his guilt from killing an innocent icon like Yuusaku approaching him from behind.  The next page appears where Ogata senses his guilt as he thinks someone is behind him.  We only see him glancing out of the corner of his left eye and he does not turn towards the putative Yuusaku ‘presence’.

This then shows Ogata finally turning to see if anyone is indeed behind him, which there obviously isn’t.  Before I get any further, I’m going to state right here that I do not believe that Yuusaku’s ghost is here haunting Ogata, if so he would have been haunting him all the time since he killed him back in the war. 

Instead, Ogata’s guilt towards killing an innocent, like Yuusaku, is manifesting itself as the appearance of his brother whenever Asirpa is involved. This has held up since the end of the sniper battle led to his fever and the mental link between Asirpa and Yuusaku.  When he had the very bad fever, Kiro translates that something has ‘taken hold’ of him, which really I’ve always read was Ogata feeling the guilt from killing Yuusaku.  The guilt itself has taken hold of him and it isn’t letting up after the sniper battle.  The sama helped Ogata overcome the thing that had ‘taken hold’ of him which makes sense.  When Ogata wakes up he links Asirpa to Yuusaku as icons.  So now, instead of his guilt taking hold of him, his guilt is now something that he is aware of which is most tightly associated with Yuusaku as the manifestation of the guilt when he sees Asirpa and her role in the hunt for the gold.

Due to his guilt distracting him, Ogata is able to notice Vasily getting into a sniping position. As he makes a very hesitant but surprised statement of ‘ . . . . what?”  This shift from 100% sniper chaos mode has given Ogata the chance to see the bigger picture and Sugimoto stupidly helps by yelling at Asirpa to get someplace safe since Vasily is in position to hunt Ogata.  Great job their Sugimoto, yell loud enough that Ogata is aware that you know he’s around and you want him sniped by Vasily.

So this is a pretty awesome and dramatic reveal that, hey guys, guess who feels guilty?  Ogata!

The rest of the chapter focuses on Sugimoto, Hijikata and Asirpa.  This page alone has so much to unpack.  Sugimoto while still held by Ushiyama ,angrily yells at Hijikata for setting him up in Abashiri, and he’s upset that he purposely separated Asirpa from him.  For good measure he adds in that because of Hijikata’s plan he got shot by Ogata.  No one will deny that Hijikata’s plan was to separate them, however, it was Sugimoto who found Wilk and drug both of them out into the open in plain sight of Ogata for sniping ease (Ogata and Kiro thank your effort Sugimoto).  He could have done something else instead of being in such an easily visible and vulnerable place. 

As Ogata shooting Sugimoto was not a part of ‘plan Hijikata’, Hijikata completely ignores most of what Sugimoto says and instead plainly states that ‘he should have’ killed him in Abashiri.  That’s right as I predicted in the previous meta, Hijikata doesn’t give a damn about you Sugimoto, you are just a really whiny fly in the ointment.  Sugimoto grits his teeth as he goads Hijikata into trying to kill him.

Again, Hijikata is able to calmly reply that he knew Sugimoto would be a problem.  Sugimoto being Sugimoto let’s him know that he’s of course going to cause problems and he then summarizes that Hijikata with Nopperabou (note how Sugimoto doesn’t say Wilk) were turning Asirpa into the icon of Ainu and with the power of the printed press, she would be the leader for the independence of the Ainu.  We already know that Sugimoto’s read on this is based on his limited knowledge of Joan of Arc from “Girl’s Monthly” and his conversation with Wilk before he was shot.  Now, Wilk confirmed that he trained Asirpa so that she could be adept at guerilla warfare. This makes sense for Wilk and for Kiro as well since they fought from a young age for the partisans.  But Hijikata isn’t a native nor mixed race individual from the minority groups, he isn’t going to come from the same cultural context.

We already had many hints of this throughout the manga.  The fact that Ogata confirmed that Wilk was working with partisans and his partners are hiding among the Ainu.  His tenacity to try to figure out Kiro’s true identity, and how even Ushiyama knew he never trusted Wilk.

And here is where Hijikata’s Japanese ‘samurai’ mindset comes through loud and clear. He first off makes it clear to Sugimoto that he has no intention of using Asirpa as a leader in a guerilla warfare.  This 100% makes sense that he would completely disagree with using women or children as soldiers to fight in his war.  Instead, he lays on the passive aggressive idea to Asirpa that she could help his cause by caring about her own people’s future or return home.

This says so much, he is committed to having Asirpa play some role in his plan, but he has made it quite clear that it isn’t her place in the conflict as both as a female and as a child. 

Asirpa then speaks directly to Hijikata and Sugimoto, declaring if this is the case than there is no point for them to fight.  Hijikata still looks calm but a bit miffed and Sugimoto is still angry.

Asirpa is able to directly ask Hijikata about the Ainu’s future.  He replies that through deforestation many of the other resources will run out e.g. things that the Ainu have relied upon are being used by the Japanese at an unsustainable rate.  He then says that the economy will be based on coal.  [Yay! An even worse resource to use and it will destroy the environment even more!] 

Aside from my very sarcastic statement, it is true that the demand for coal will only increase from the turn of the century up until well the heydays of the 1950s, so Hijikata’s plan does work.  Hijikata will use the coal industry as a way to feed into non-Japanese immigration to Hokkaido.  Interestingly, he states clearly that Japanese who are only used to Japanese will combine with the Ainu who have more intermixing with other groups as well as his ‘unknown/unstated’ other peoples will combine together in a multi-ethnic state. 

What I find most interesting is that Hijikata is showing that he has a more open view to a mixed race/strength through diversity thought process than I originally thought.  The difference is that Hijikata’s plan is still based on modernization and the immigration of different groups to create a powerful buffer state.  This is different than Wilk’s dream with Kiro and Sofia, as he wanted to create a confederation by the minority groups for the minority groups and not centered around an industrialized economy.

Wilk and Kiro wanted to preserve their way of life and their cultural practices and it showed with the fact that Asirpa was trained in an “Ainu” way to fight the colonial powers. 

Hijikata, instead, wants to mix the different groups together to create something new, but it implies that she would not be preserving her way of life nor her full cultural practices as the more cultural mixing that would occur the less of the old ways would be kept. 

In that way Wilk’s plan was quite unique, he recognized that he was a mixed race individual as well as Asirpa but he did not put that much of an emphasis of her adopting any sort of Polish cultural aspects.  Sure, he highlights that because she is not 100% Ainu it makes her a new woman, but she didn’t not culturally synthesize Polish-Ainu practices.  Even Wilk’s name is an indication of that, he was named per Karafuto Ainu and Hokkaido Ainu practices but he got a Polish name.  In a way, he used his European background as a partisan but he only passed on Ainu cultural practices to Asirpa.

Asirpa seems engaged and thoughtful as Hijikata speaks while Sugimoto is just, well angry.  Ogata’s got Sugimoto all constipated. . . .

Before Asirpa replies, we get the inner thoughts of Bouratou and Shiraishi begins the lay the groundwork for rejoining team Hijikata.  It is clear from Bouratou’s down turned mouth and thought ending with a question mark that he’s not keen on this whole Republic of Ezo concept.  I would guess that he’s thinking the same thing that Ogata said when he approached Hijikata about it.  It is a poor idea and many men will die for no reason.  Shiraishi states the obvious that they have been presented with the lesser of two evils.

Asirpa then gets to have a nice long monologue.  She makes it clear that she does not want the gold to go the 7th and Tsurumi.  She also states that Sugimoto’s skins were ‘stolen’ from him by Tsurumi.  I’m not sure if this is a deliberate lie by her to Hijikata to imply that he didn’t willingly work with Tsurumi (which he totally did) or if it is a lie to herself (Sugimoto didn’t sell me out for Umeko).  Even though we the readers don’t know what Ogata told Hijikata when he came back, he made it quite clear he had a run in with Tsurumi’s men and Sugimoto was with them.  She instead, presents that since they are missing those skins and now that they have skins that Hijikata lacks, it is the only option but to team up again.

To really make it clear that the Karafuto trip matured Asirpa, we get some surprise from Ariko.  He looks nervous as he asks Nagakura if that is her.  Nagakura who is frequently depicted as a generally wise man, comments that she has changed since he last encountered her.  Furthermore, he states that she is standing on even footing with all of these powerful men.  Clearly, we are getting nice vibes that Asirpa has some Sofia characteristics growing.  Plus, they both have a love of poop.  I can’t wait for the Sofia-Asirpa reunion.  I’m certain a poop joke will be involved.

What I find concerning is that after the profile shot of Asirpa there is a zoom in on a still nervous looking Ariko with his face a bit more shaded and serious looking.  Clearly, he’s got orders from Tsurumi (as a spy) and Kikuta (as a spy and his trusted friend) and who knows what else (Ainu intel) that makes very unsettled with this entire situation.

Ushiyama only after all of this realizes that he let Ueji escape.  Dammit man, you were supposed to kill him remember?

And then a finally shot shows Vasily searching in vain for an Ogata who is long gone.

The chapter then ends with Asirpa sitting down alone, with Hijikata as she drives her part of the deal.  She will share the skins that they have, Boutarou’s and Heita’s in exchange for a chance to look at Hijikata’s skins.  Now, smartly, Hijikata only allows her to look at them alone, no one else.  I’m not sure if Hijikata knows that Asirpa is illiterate or not but both of them are controlling the flow and exchange of information between them.

This final panel shows Asirpa looking at Boutarou’s with Sugimoto, so he’s likely helping her out with the kanji on his tattoo.  She also is looking down at Heita’s so she thinks she’s figured out a commonality between the skins.

And we know that it should be linked to the code that she remembered, Horkew Oskoni.  Unfortunately, the chapter ends with a dramatic look of shock and concern from Asirpa after looking at Hijikata’s skins.

She can’t put things together as she thinks that I can’t not be Wilk’s Hokkaido Ainu name!  And with that our chapter ends!  Dum dum!

Now, I hope that Asirpa remembers that Hijikata has 5 fake skins that Edogai made for Tsurumi.  I hope she remembers that they would be in the mix and therefore, they would not correspond to the characteristics that she thought could be on all of the skins that are key for finding the gold.

Well that was a lot to unpack in this chapter!  I enjoyed it for the most part, it really hit a lot of unknowns and mysterious motivations that we are still missing for some characters!

[purplesurveys]

854

Are you unhappy at the moment? I wouldn’t say that. I’m just a little hungry but it’s bearable. I *might* by seeing Gabie tomorrow since I have to bring Cooper to the vet again so I’m a little kinda excited for that possibility, but I’m not holding my breath. When was the last time you read a full book? That would be when I finished Justin Roberts’ memoir last May. Are you back in school? No, I am very nearly out of it. I just have to wait for an official memo from the college enumerating the list of graduates, but all of my grades are in and I’m pretty much out the door. Who did you last hang out with? Cooper, before he started getting rough and I had to place him back in his crate to calm down. Kimi’s also starting to get the hang of him too so he was in the picture, but was still mostly shy and just being a grouchy senior dog who didn’t like playtime haha. When's the last time you got in trouble with your parents? With my mom, a week ago. With my dad, I barely remember.

How many children do you want? One or two would be perfect.

Are your nails painted? Nopes. Do you need to take a shower? I kind of do because I’m feeling a bit hot and am sweating a bit, but I don’t take a shower until late evening and I don’t wanna break that routine. Have you ever watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians? I’ve watched the first three seasons and I will sometimes catch recent episodes when I’m staying at a hotel that has the E! channel, but I don’t religiously follow the show. Love the family though, I’ll admit that. Are you single? Haven’t been for the last four years. Do you have any career ideas in mind? For sure. I don’t have specific job titles in mind, but I do have paths I’m interested in taking. Do you have any gay friends? I have a ton of gay friends. In general, I have more LGBTQ+ friends than straight ones. Are you gay yourself? I don’t think so. I’m demisexual, which doesn’t necessarily mean gay.  Are you doing anything this weekend? No different than what the last four months have been, except this time around puppy-sitting is now a part of my routine. How many brothers do you have? One. When was the last time you talked on the phone? Last Friday. I brought Cooper to the vet for bloody diarrhea and the vet was making me pick between just taking a stool sample or have him tested for parvo altogether (which was gonna be considerably more expensive). Since I was bringing my dad’s money and because he’s the ~primary~ owner of Cooper, I had to call him a couple of times so he can decide what to do with him because I didn’t wanna make the wrong choice. Do you like Mexican food? I do love Mexican food but it’s honestly not a cuisine I find myself craving a lot, unlike Indian or Indonesian cuisine which I’m always down for. What time is it? It issssssss 6:50 PM. What's your best friend's pet's name(s)? Gabie’s family has so many dogs but I only know of four: Dash, Quincy, Harley, and Tofu. Angela has Hailey, Kennedy, and a black lab but I’ve forgotten his name. How many pens are in the room you're currently in? Two. Did you go to work today? No work, but school-wise I didn’t have to do anything either. When was the last time you were disappointed? Earlier this afternoon when I opened the fridge and there was nothing I wanted to eat. Do you wear clothes from your school? Yeah my alma mater loved having t-shirts for all events so I have tons of those left over. I wear them around the house now because it’d be wasteful to throw them away. As for my university, I do have a couple of shirts and hoodies because school prideeeeeee. Have you ever done Safety Town? I’ve never heard of that, so probably not. How old are you? How old do you act? I am 22. I have no clue how old I act actually. I have times where I have zero street smarts and get super ditzy and seem like a 12 year old lol but there are times where I have to step up and give my friends advice, look out for them, and basically be the mom that acts older than all of them. What size shoe do you wear? 6 or 7 works fine for me. When was the last time you got a splinter? I can’t even remember; it’s been a while. Have you ever walked into a wall? Not a wall, but I’m not ruling out walking into a glass door because I’m pretty sure that’s happened at least once. Are there any spiders in your room right now? There might be tiny tiny ones. Nothing big enough to send me away from where I am. Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? As much as possible I don’t like doing that, so probably not.  What's your favorite number? I don’t have one. Are you old enough to buy alcohol? Yeah, for the last four years. Have you ever watched iCarly? Just a few episodes. I did make sure to catch the One Direction episode the same day it aired though HAHAHA agh man life was so much simpler when all I did was be a fucking fangirl without a care in the world.

What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? I had the best grades in Asian history, but I personally loved biology because I had the biiiiiggest crush on my teacher (and so did everyone else). She was so pretty and so so smart and so sophisticated; I knew she was gonna be my favorite once she introduced herself and told us she took her grad studies in France haha. She was WAY too qualified for my school and I’m glad she knew that because she transferred to another job a year later. Who's your favorite Disney charater? Rapunzel, and Rex from Toy Story heheh. Are there any framed pictures of you in your house? Yes, by the stairs. My Prep portrait is also hung up in my room. Do you listen to music while you clean your room? Sometimes. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? I don’t think I’ve used a bandana ever since we needed to wear them on our hair for our Kinder 2 moving-up ceremony.

When was the last time you ate a banana? Last May when I was sick and I was trying every rule in the book to get better. What's your favorite word? ‘Poignant’ has always been a good candidate. Have you ever been on a blind date? Nope, not into that. Have you ever taken the eHarmony personality quiz? No. Do you need to shave? Not right now, no. I’ve just done that recently. Are you wearing makeup right now? Definitely not. Do you know anyone named Laura? Nah. One of my favorite bands is fronted by a Laura, though.

[inthispagewestanikon]

First Encaunter <3 - a Donghyuk scenario:

word count:1.8k

Ps: Sond - Suran - 1+1=0

Ps²: If there’s any grammar mistake, I apologize!

Just two years ago I was this eighteen years old girl who was a month away from finishing high school and did not know what to do with her life. I wanted to do everything but at the same time did nothing, until my dad came home with a camera and changed my life forever.

I decided to set the camera up and talk about the make up tricks I used, obviously it was for fun so it was poorly edited. Youtube was starting to get really popular in Korea and me being the chatterbox I am thought it would be nice to just talk about random stuff and in my head only my family and friends would care enough to take a look, but boy was I wrong.

The videos suddently began to gain views and people started subscribing and asking for more and so I did. Looking back at it I am just really proud of putting myself out there because I think that now I would probably be majoring in Law school which was something I did not feel like suited me in any way, but both my parents are lawyers so finding a job wouldn’t be hard.

Now it has been one year since I got accepted into Korea University for visual arts and I love it, it helps me with my videos and gives me enough knowledge to act in several entertainment areas if I want to.

With the success of my channel a lot of brands would send me theirs products and invite me to events and meetings; and at this very moment I have an important meeting with this popular make up brand and I’m already running late.

I left my building in a hurry and decided to stop to get coffee to try and at least make up for my mistake, because unless a miracle happened there was no way I’d get there in time. I entered the caffé close by and felt relieved as no one was in line.

“Iced americanos three, Latte two and Iced tead one” I said a bit out of breath.

As I waited for my order a guy came in wearing a pink hoodie and for some reason his face seemed familiar, but right now I don’t have the time to try and guess from where I know him.

The girl was really taking her time making those drinks and my foot was uncontrolably stamping the floor.

“Here you go, that will be 26.700 KRW” she said nicely.

I gave her thirty and turned in order to leave, but as soon as I did it the guy turned to pay causing us to bump into each other, luckily only our phones fell and we both went down to get it quickly.

“I’m really sorry” I bowed repeatedly as I made my way out.

I caught a cab and just went to the building where the meeting was taking place. The ride took 10 minutes or so and the driver made sure to rip me off, that’s why I don’t take cabs anymore, I paid him and entered the building.

Finally I arrived at the 10th floor and they were all waiting for me.

“I’m really sorry to keep you all waiting, I forgot the meeting was this early” I bowed and honestly felt so embaressed, it made me look unprofessional and I hated it because I always give my best at every single thing I put myself into.

They were very understanding and the coffee may have helped me a bit. As soon as I sat down my phone started ringing and I quickly turned it off to avoid causing more inconvenience to those who were there trying to do their jobs.

...

The meeting lasted for two hours and after the bumpy start things flowed smoothly. I left the room and turned on my phone, I tried to unlock it but it said my digital wasn’t working so I typed in my password which was also wrong, then, I realize that the background was not the one I use.

“Ah please, don’t tell me this is that guy’s phone” I wimped.

I ran to the front desk and asked the receptionist to use their phone, which she kindly did.

“H-hello” I said quite nervous.

“Yes, wah thank god” The manly voice said. It was weird dialing my own number let alone have someone else pick up.

“Perhaps, are you the guy from the caffé?” I asked politely

“That’s right! Our phones got mixed up when we bumped into each other” He explained even though I already suspected it.

“Ah you’re right” I said.

“I called so many times but you didn’t answer I was bit desperate sorry” He laughed a bit and I believe it was out of relief.

“Sorry about that, I was in a meeting and after seeing the random number I turned it off thinking it was a mistake” I explained.

“So could you please tell me where you are? I can go to you right away to exchange it” he said and I was impressed at how kind he was, if it was somebody else they would be so angry at me, but after all, I didn’t mean to do so.

“S-sure, I’m near yeouido in an office building but I can go to a caffè nearby” I explained.

“Okay, I will call from the random number I did earlier when I get over there, so don’t be afraid to pick up” He kindly said.

I thanked the lady for letting me use the phone and took the elevator. That area was filled with caffès and I definitely should’ve been more specific.

As I passed the stores I thought that maybe I should get him something as an apology.

“Wah you’re going to get poor this way” I said to myself.

I decided I would wait for him at the ‘Audrey Hepbrun caffe’, on my way there I saw this phone accessory store and I had the brilliant idea of getting him a phone case so he would not mix up his phone.

“welcome!” this girl said as I came in the store.

I was looking at the cases when this pink one caught my eyes, it was the same color as his hoodie from earlier, of course it was silly, but it was just a simbolic gift anyway. I picked it out and quickly paid since I had to get to the caffé soon.

I sat near the window and ordered a coffee, I mean I was already there and this day is just a complete mess, only coffee could boast me up for the rest of my schedule. I was calmly sipping my coffee when my phone rang, well, his phone rang.

“Yes?” I picked up.

“Hello, I am at Yeouido, which caffe are you at?” He asked politely.

“The Audrey Hepburn caffe” I explained.

“Ah okay, I will be right there” The way he said make me feel like I was waiting for my blind date and I felt silly for actually thinking that.

The door opened and I noticed the pink hoodie instantly. I raised my hand in order to make him notice me. I noticed he brought a guy with him and found it weird, maybe he thinks I am creep, that made me feel like an idiot for getting a gift, but I am most likely just overthinking it.

“Ah hello, I’m Kim Donghyuk” He bowed after introducing himself.

“Ah, Choi Hye Jin” I stood up and bowed.

He and the guy along with him sat in the chairs in front of me and I handed over his phone and he handed me mine.

“Wah, I was really scared when I couldn’t access it, I thought I would’ve to buy a new one” He said smiling.

“Yes, I didn’t notice because we both have black cases” I said and looked over to the little white bag by my side, maybe I should just keep it.

“Should I buy you another coffee? After all, it was my mistake as well” He suggested after noticing my empty cup

“Ah no, don’t worry” I denied and looked at the bag again.

“I insist” He said and got up to order.

A few minutes later he came back and I gattered the courage to ‘return the favor’.

“Here it is, hot americano, not many people order hot coffee” he laughed.

“Yes...Well, since you bought me coffee I also have something for you” I said while timidly picking up the white bag.

“Oh you shouldn’t have, it wasn’t your fault, seriously” He tried to deny it.

“I insist” I repeated what he said before “Got you” I smilled.

I handed him over the bag and he reached in to get the case.

“Wah, thank you so much, it even matches my hoddiet” He said and bowed in gratitude.

“Ah yes” I didn’t want to say that’s why I got it, but he would probably notice afterwards.

After giving him the gift we all got ready to say goodbye and leave.

“Well, I’ll get going now. Sorry for the trouble” I bowed as we left the caffe.

“Ah no, it’s okay, really” He did the same.

We both waved goodbye and parted ways. I decided to go home because I had a video to edit and some homework to turn in. As I made my way home I had to cross this busy street, the pedestrian signal was red and I looked up to see the music video for that popular song lately, I guess the group is iKon, I saw them on tv last week.

Once I lifted my eyes I felt all the heat in my body go straight to my face because the guy in the music video was the guy I just met like ten minutes ago AND gave him a pink phone case as if I was a casual friend.

...

The rest of the way was horrible, I kept thinking how dumb I was because I knew who he was, I even recognized him when I first saw him, he also said his name.

I opened my apartment door still in awe at my stupidity, it felt like I had left my soul standing in that sidewalk. He was so kind and nice towards me.

“Wah, you’re really something, seriously” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror.

I changed into my comfortable clothes in order to study and do some editing but I ended up searching his name. It really was him, I feel like I will be part of those funny stories idols tell in variety shows.

After hours of loud music and trying really hard to concentrate I finally finished all my work and could just say goodbye to this cruel reality, yes, I was being dramatic but who cares, I pay my bills so I can overeact this little things.

A/N: So, first of all, I hope you enjoy this “scenario” and yes, there will be a continuation since it’s kind of a series/fic idk what to call it yet…

ALSO, very important, I try to be realistic when writing something, so, given that the characters are korean I wanted to showcase some sort of realness with the “wah” and other ‘slangs’ if you may. I am in no way trying to copy them, just give a more “real life” feel to it!!!

[5am-the-foxing-hour]

First Shot at a prompt!! Okay... Small angst but happy ending. It's Virgil's birthday and Remy, Logan, Roman & Patton are planning a surprise birthday party for him!!! But... Them keeping it a secret makes Virgil think that they forgot.

*sips warm chocolate* You seem to know me far to well XD(angst and fluff is so my jam)

((It is waaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than the previous prompts (and a bit more world building.. idk) so A LOT of it is under read more))’

*looks at all the words**presses post button*YEEEEEEEEEEET!

Remy entered the cafe he knew Virgil’s friends were at, Virgil would have been with them if he wasn’t currently home due to a nasty cold. Remy looked around before he caught sight of the trio. Logan sat with his head in a book, Roman was clearly telling a story with how much his body moved, Patton listening with rapt attention nodding along with a blinding smile.

He waltzed over a big grin on his lips.

  “’Sup Gurls!” he called, Logan looked up from his book, Patton let his eyes leave Roman to look at Remy and he waved with a smile in greeting, Roman closed his mouth having clearly been in the middle of explaining something overly dramatic explanation of what had happened.

  “HI Remy!” Patton said grinning back.

  “Salutations.” Logan stated

  “Greetings.” Roman responded once he’d realised who it was that interrupted his epic story.

Patton moved closer to the wall to give Remy space to sit on the couch at the table. Remy smiled and sat down, taking a sip from the drink he had gotten before moving over to them.

  “What brings you here, Remy?” Patton asked “Is Virgil okay? he wrote that he’s sick.”

  “The kid’s fine, he just caught a nasty cold, the most he’s doing is moving from the bed to the bathroom.” Patton opened his mouth to ask something but Remy already knew and started talking before Patton could ask “And i made sure to leave enough rations for him to eat from, a thermos with soup and tea and some sandwiches. He’ll be back to normal in no time.” Patton closed his mouth and smiled. “But that isn’t the reason as to why I came here.” Remy said and leaned his head forward to look over his sunglasses. “It’s ma baby bro’s b-day soon, and what do you three say about helping me throwing him a surprise party?”

  “OOOH! I’D LOVE TO!” Patton cheered

  “That will be satisfactory.” Logan said giving away one of his rare smiles

  “It will be EPIC!” Roman said in his dramatic flare. Remy grinned.

Virgil would surely love it!

Virgil woke up with a groan, checking the time on his phone, he groaned louder when he saw the time and the date.

It was 7 in the morning and his birthday.

  “To frigging early.” Virgil grumbled as he rolled over to his side closing his eyes, showing the world that he was gonna go back to sleep.30 minutes later left him no closer to sleep than before.

his phone suddenly pinged causing Virgil to groan and roll over again grabbing the phone to see three messages, he pulled his phone closer squinting at the to bright screen before he lowered the intensity to see three messages, one from Thomas, Joan and Talyn, and one from Thomas alone, and to Virgil’s surprise one from Lilly. He unlocked his phone to see what the messages said.

The one from Thomas, Joan and Talyn said nothing but Happy Birthday in all caps and surrounded by heart and party emojis. Virgil smiled slightly at the overuse only causing him to snort. the message from Thomas alone was almost an whole essay on how much he wished Virgil a happy day and how happy he was for having him as a friend. Virgil would deny any claim that he cried a bit. the one from Lilly was a short gif of her giving the phone screen a fist-bump with the letters “You got this.“ Virgil smiled, she was the one who had given the advice to try therapy and had found Dr. Pecani’s place, Virgil hadn’t thanked her enough for it. even if it took Remy to literary drag him there the first time due to Virgil almost succeeding in barricading himself in the bathroom due to the stress of meeting someone new and god forbid TALKING!

Virgil answered the texts before he sat up and decided that he would just get bored if he stayed in bed any longer if he couldn’t fall asleep again.

The house was silent and Virgil groaned for the third time since he woke up to see the world covered in white.

  “We live in Florida, how the fudge is there snow outside!” he grumbled before entering the kitchen fixing a sandwich for breakfast before starting the tv and aimlessly watched the early terrible shows on it, to lazy and uncaring to change the channel or start Netflix.

  “What in Starbucks names are you doing awake?!” a sleepy voice suddenly said from the stairs causing Virgil to look up at a disgruntled Remy, his hair was a mess and he was still half asleep.

  “My body decided that 7 am was the time to wake up.”

  “That was 3 hours ago.” Remy groaned before he entered the kitchen. the sounds of him fixing breakfast filtered into the living room.

  “Wait.” Remy suddenly said leaning out from the doorway, holding a cartoon of milk and the box of cereal in his hands, looking more awake than when he came down from the bedrooms. “Don’t you have a session with Emile today?”

  “Not until 14.” Virgil replied. Remy nodded before he returned into the kitchen. Virgil felt a small sense of confusion, why hadn’t Remy said anything about what day it was? he was usually quit good at keeping tabs on things like this. Sure Remy did have a tendency to go a bit overboard with the gifts, but he never forgot a birthday, but still, now when Virgil started to think about it, Remy, Logan, Roman and even Patton hadn’t even mentioned his birthday approaching.

Virgil didn’t notice Remy sit down on the cough next to him, holding his bowl of cereal in one hand and spoon in the other, he looked at the tv screen before snorting and reached for the remote and changed the channel to Cartoon-Networks. he sent a look to Virgil only to stiffen, he knew the face Virgil made when he was thinking to hard and to dark. Remy put his bowl on the table before the cough before he turned to face his little brother.

  “Virgil?” he called, and got no reaction. “Hey, Virge.” Remy placed his hand on Virgil’s knee, feeling him jolt at the sudden touch. Virgil blinked before looking at Remy. “What’s wrong?”

  “… Nothing…” Virgil said looking away.

  “Hey, please don’t lie to me.”

  “It’s nothing really.”

  “Virgil. if you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong, could you at least tell Emile, just to not bottle it up?” Remy pleaded. Virgil sent him a look before exhaling.

  “Fine.” he grunted.

Emile picked up on Virgil’s distress instantly when he entered the room.

  “Hey Virgil, do you how do?”

  “Fine… i guess” Virgil said and shrugged

  “OH! its your birthday today isn’t it?! Happy birthday Virgil!” Emile said throwing his arms out and grinning.

Virgil smiled but it was a bit strained. Emile noticed even if he didn’t point it out until a while into the meeting.

  “What is troubling you Virgil?” he asked “I noticed you seemed more ‘agitated’ when you first walked in.” Emile said in a calm tone as he sent Virgil the question, Virgil stiffened, opening his mouth to day that it was nothing, but he had promised Remy to talk to Emile about it… and Virgil was not someone to back out of a promise without a very good reason to.

  “It’s just-” he sighed fiddling with his hoodie “I-”

  “Hey, It’s okay to express yourself. Take the time you need to gather your thoughts.” Virgil sighed slumping in the sofa before he rubbed his hand against his neck.

  “It’s kinda stupid.”

  “Humour me.” Emile said with a serious tone “No feeling is stupid.”

  “It’s just… it’s my birthday today… but only you, Thomas, Talyn, Joan and Lilly has said anything…” Virgil’s voice cracked

  “Hey, it’s okay, grab some tissues. Let’s work some issues.” Emile said as he moved the tissue box over to Virgil who took it with shaking hands

  “I’m scared that the others have forgotten… they haven’t even said anything about it… nor asked me what i want, like they did last year…”

Emile grimaced behind his notepad “You can be a bit to good in keeping secrets, Remy.” Emile thought before he gave Virgil a smile.

  “I’m doubt they have forgotten about your Birthday, Virgil, they love you very much, and i can say that from a personal view point. we all love you.” Virgil snorted slightly as he rubbed one of the tissues under his eyes, smudging the eye shadow way more than before and making the tissue turn grey.

  “Thanks-” he croaked out.

Virgil had decided to walk home from the meeting with Emile that day, to clear his head, he most often than not did this, and now with the snow still covering the ground the cold helped him keep his mind from spiralling.

He halted once he could see the apartment he and Remy shared when both of them started at the same college, tho ten years apart. there were a few cars to many at the drive way, Remy’s old slightly rusted Lamborghini stood as normal on the driveway, but it was the two other cars that caused him to halt, Remy hadn’t mentioned anything about them having visitors.

  “Remy you are so dead.” Virgil growled as he walked over to the door, pushing his anxiety down as he opened the door the apartment was silent and… dark? Virgil blinked wasn’t Remy home?

  “Remy?!” Virgil called as he removed his jacket and boots “If you’re passed out on the cough again i swear i’m not to be blamed for whatever happens to your face!” he thought he heard a stifled snort from the living room. Virgil stilled, before he moved closer, then the moment he entered the lights were turned on

  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” a choir of voices called. Virgil startled taking a step back as his eyes widened and he took in the scene, Patton stood in the middle with a beaming smile, holding a gigantic birthday cake full of burning candles, with the purple letters “Happy Birthday Virgil” with a heart written on it in Logan’s organised yet beautiful writing. Logan stood next to him with a smal smile of his own. Roman was grinning there he stood next to a table full of presents. Thomas, Joan and Talyn was there as well all smiling at him. Emile was there as well and he gave Virgil a small wave still smiling. Remy was no where to be seen. 

  “You knew?!” Virgil asked the therapist who gave away a sheepish smile

  “Yeah… but i was told not to say anything, and i wanted to tell you right there and then… but I didn’t wanna spoil the surprise.”

  “Wait.” Virgil said looking around, instantly on guard “Where’s Remy?” just as the name left his lips two strong hands grabbed him from behind hoisting him up in the air. causing Virgil to scream

  “No touching the Face!” Remy laughed as he pulled Virgil into a bear hug, still keeping his feet from touching the floor.

  “GUAH! LET ME DOWN!” Virgil barked struggling in the hold. laughter echoed in the room and the sound of a camera. Virgil was put back to the floor and Remy just ruffled his hair.

  “Happy birthday, Virge.”

  “Now!” Patton called gaining everyone’s attention “CAKE!”

[b0blegum]

10th

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Lim Changkyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff 

Status: COMPLETED.

Part: One-Shot

Words: 2247

Summary: 10 times are more than enough to drive him crazy.

A/N this is just a side writing (i literally wrote this at 3am in the morning, fml) before i posted the last chapter of RAHASIA. Hope you guys enjoy the first fluff i’ve ever written ♡

Your dorm was as quiet as usual. Only the dimmed sound of a running tv show accompanied you cooking your dinner. You stole a glance over the tv that you set parallel to your mini kitchen every time you had the chance.

As you began to put the chicken that you had marinated for an hour before to the crippling hot pan, you heard someone knocking on your door. After turning down the heat two levels lower, you made your way down the hall to the door.

"How many times i have told you to ring the bell, Changkyun. It is there for a reason." You mumbled as soon as you met the familiar face. "Oh and anyway, i don't think i invited anyone for dinner tonight." You were about to close the door but he was fast enough to slip his foot between the door and its frame.

"You owe me an explanation." He let himself in. You rolled your eyes in annoyance. You knew what was this all about; your blind date that he set up.

"I'm cooking right now. Will you take the responsibility if i burn my cooking and don't have dinner tonight just to give you a so called explanation?" You closed the door behind you and made your way back to your kitchen while he put himself in comfort in your couch, his eyes glued to you.

"Don't worry. I'll wait." He crossed his legs and grabbed the remote tv. Changing into the channel he desired.

"Why are you so annoying." You whispered.

"I heard that."

"Fuck you, Changkyun."

"Heard that too."

You both were currently under the same roof but none of you initiated to start a conversation. At least until you finally finished with your cooking. Without caring about the presentation of the dish— in which it won't be judged with Gordon Ramsay anyway, you stuffed everything into your plate and bring it together with you to the couch where Changkyun sat for awhile.

"Start." He commanded.

"What the heck, Changkyun. I'm going to eat now." You rolled your eyes while he lulled back his head and groaned in annoyance.

"Okay. Right after you finished that ugly looking chicken, tell me your best excuse." He closed his eyes and crossed his hands on his chest.

You didn't give him any answer for that, instead you starting to eat your dinner quietly while watching a random tv show.

Changkyun stole a glance of you every time he opened his eyes a bit, just to make sure you're not going to run away. "It has to be a better excuse this time. I'm sick of that same excuses you gave me everytime."

This time, you lost your patience. You put your plate on the table harshly, made the fork jumped and made a clinking sound, the same goes with the guy beside you. Your hand reached for a glass of water that you have prepared before and drink it bottoms up.

"Changkyun, honestly. What kind of excuses are you expecting me to say?" You shifted yourself to meet his gaze.

"I don't know. You tell me. This is the tenth times i set you up with a guy." He shrugged.

"But did i freaking ask you to do that? No!" You fought back.

"You didn't, but can you even remember when was the last time you dated? It was four years ago, (y/n)!" He washed his face with his palms in frustration.

"So?"

"That was why i set you up, but you always ended up saying you still can't make a commitment with a guy. What kind of bullshit is that." He scoffed with a smirk.

"Bullshit?" You scoffed him back. "Changkyun. You were there when he broke up with me and you, my bestfriend, know so well what he did to me and now you're telling me that my reason is utter bullshit?"

"Oh my God." He murmured before letting a deep sigh.

"I'm done with the explanation. You can get out now." You stood up and gestured him to leave your dorm.

"(Y/n),"

"You wanted to hear the reason, did you not? I gave you. So get out." He brushed his hair back and walked past you. Dragging his feet to the door and get out by himself.

This isn't the first fight between you and your bestfriend over this blind date thing. One time, you both ended up not talking to each other for a week before a mutual friend of you both finally fed up with you two not letting a single word when you, Changkyun and her were eating at the same table. But it was always like that, you and Changkyun often fought over a smallest thing possible like when he purposely entered a wrong passcode lock to your phone or when you forgot to tell the barista not to put a whip cream onto his coffee, but in the end you both always find a way back to each other.

You flipped the paper in front of you every time the professor changed the slide. You were trying so hard to concentrate because today is exactly a week before the semester exam and this subject is the one that you can't pass unless you study your ass off for it.

"(Y/n)," your best friend in this major a.k.a the mutual friend, elbowed you. "You haven't made up with Changkyun?" She asked in whisper as she rolled the pen between her fingers.

"Nope. Don't find the reason for why should i." You took a note from what the professor just said.

"It has been a month! Are you crazy?"

"I am not. He is." You answered without any expression on your face.

"You both really have the hardest head in this world."

You stopped writing. Suddenly you were curious of what Changkyun is doing. Yes, you haven't talked to him for almost a month now and every time you and him passed each other, you two did not even bother to look like you both never knew each other before but it actually already two weeks since you've never crossed pathways in either your dorm or campus, but to put it in a simple way, you missed him.

After a good 90 minutes, the professor ended his lecture and wished you all good luck for the exam.

"I'm going to see him tomorrow with his friends. Are you coming?" Her words made you narrowed your eyes as you both walked out from the classroom.

"See him? Are you guys having a party or something? Because if it is, i won't come."

"I know you're crazy but i can't believe you're this crazy, (y/n)." She looked at you in disbelief, even stopped her steps just to said that to you.

"What? Why stopping?" You asked after you were one step away from her.

"He was sick, (y/n)." She still threw the same look at you. "He was hospitalized a week ago, but he just got back yesterday, so we were coming to see him tomorrow." Slowly your look become soften and you mouthed a 'what?'

"He... is... is he home now?" You stuttered.

"From what i heard, yes."

"Shit." You left her. She called your name couple of times but you ignored and you immediately ran to his dorm. Now you got the answer why you hadn't seen him.

You slid your card at the dorm's entrance door and headed to the lift. Pushing the button more than you've ever done to make the elevator comes faster.

You pushed his floor number after you got in and you never felt as worried as this before. Actually you're not just worried, you're sorry too.

Now here you are. In front of his door which have the number 553 written next to it and an sticker written "I'm not home, don't bother to knock" glued below.

You pushed the bell twice before he finally pulled the door opened.

"Changkyun..." You scanned him from head to toe. He looked like a complete mess. Crumpled white tee under a grey hoodie and a very messy hair that looks like that typical just woke up hair but it was almost five pm now so he must have been on his bed the whole day. His face was pale and his lips were chapped.

"Hi, (y/n)." He greeted. His voice was hoarse but weaker than usual.

"Are you... okay?" You finally asked him. He chuckled.

"I don't think you'd come here if i was okay." Well, he got a point. "Come on in." You stepped in as soon as he opened the door wider. Your eyes scanned his dorm. It was also a mess. Untouched dishes, clothes hanged here and there, books laying on his low table and there, you found his medications, laying beside a glass of water.

"Changkyun, i'm sorry." You turned around to him. He just stood there, nodded with his hands in his Nike shorts' pocket. "I didn't know you were... hospitalized." You hesitated.

"I just had a high fever and fatigued, but it was nothing. I’m okay now." He smiled.

"Really?" You put your hands on his forehead for a bit. "But you still look pale and..." You stuffed your hand into your bag, trying to find the your lipbalm before you immediately put it on his lips. It was the strawberry lipbalm that he likes, the one you always got teased at because it has this weird princess-y picture on the packaging but he always ended up stealing it from you and use it.

He smiled as you swatches it on his lips and slowly take your hand away and pulled you in for a hug.

"I missed you, (y/n)." He whispered as he brushed your hair gently. Him brushing your hair is not a new thing, but brushing it gently is. "If i knew we would not to talk to each other for this long, i'd never set you up on that stupid date."

"Changkyun," you let go of his hug. He looked at you asking why. "Don't hug me." You looked down. Remembering all the skin ships he shared with you until now. He loves skin ship too much when it's with you. Messing with your hair, pinching your cheeks, clinging onto your arms, circling his arms around your shoulder or just playing with your palms every time he got bored, acting like he's reading it. To be honest, you like it, you really like it but while he does it because he was simply comfortable with you, you enjoy it because you like him.

"(Y/n)," he chuckled. "Why so sudden?"

"I don't like it, Changkyun." You lied.

"You don't? Wait, i don't get it. We do it so often but you never complained before. Why now?" He rested his arms on his waist.

"It's not the hug..." you said in a low voice. "It's... how you hug me." You both became silence. You weren't sure what you're going to do now and if confessing it at this time was right or you just spilled a gas on a not yet extinguished fire that would made you both not talking anymore forever.

"(Y/n), is that the real reason why you always gave up the blind dates?" He caught you after a couple of minutes of silence.

You didn't give him any single sign of yes nor a direct answer but you guessed he found out. He was right, your reason for giving up all the blind dates because you're still scared of a commitment is complete bullshit but the real reason is even more than a bullshit.

He sighed. You looked up to him. His eyes never left you, looking at you softly and soon his lips turned, creating a smile that you always love to see.

He pulled you in for another hug. This time he buried his head for a couple of second in your neck.

"It took you ten blind dates to finally confessed that." He hugged you even tighter. You were still confused by his words and hesitated to hug him back. "I'm actually tired setting all those stupid dates for you, (y/n)." He let you go from his hug. Putting a strand of your hair behind your ears. "It took me ten times controlling myself not to clap my hands happy ever time you said that bullshit reason and it also took me ten times trying not to be jealous every time you went out with those guys."

You could feel your cheek blushed crimson red.

"I love you, (y/n)." He pulled you in for a kiss. A soft, gentle kiss that you were longing for for years. This time you were sure what you have to do. You kissed him back, following his rhythm. His hands slowly climbing up to your neck, pulling you even closer into a deeper kiss. He pushed you slowly until he managed to pin you on a wall with his lips still sealed to yours. He controlled himself not to let lust interfere your kiss.

His gentle kissed didn't become aggressive nor giving you a clue that he wants you in bed, now. No, he didn't want that. He just wanted to tell you that he shared the same feelings with you all these years.

"Can i finally say that you are mine now?" He asked you with a sincere smile. You gave him back the same gaze he threw you as a sign of a 'yes' before he pulled you in again for another kiss.

[mysideblogofsurveys]

Survey 9.

What would you call your body type? Petite

Are you a morning person? Definitely.  I love getting up early! Although I am not a “morning people person”.  I get up early to get stuff done but I don’t really wanna talk to anyone

Have you ever been to Target? Who hasn’t? Although I haven’t been to one in a while

Do you like iced tea? Only unsweetened

When is the next time you’ll be at work? Tomorrow

Do you have a savings account? Yes I do

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? As far as I know, no

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? We are not color coordinated at ALL so we have black, blue, purple, white, green..we have a bunch of different blankets lol

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Even though I live in FL, I’ve only been to Disney World once (when I was 12)

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? Yes, I’m very picky about it ><

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? No, but I wrap them anyway :)

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes, I definitely use one.  My husband on the other hand, prefers to use the floor.

What would you say is your favorite television show? I don’t have one in particular but I like a lot of different ones

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? We used to when I was younger.  Everyone is all spread out now so its hard to get everyone together but yeah I did

Is your vision good? No, I have contacts and glasses and I’m very blind without them ><

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? Aside from my engagement and wedding ring, I wear most of the piercings I have (ears, belly button, nose and eyebrow every day.  Although I do take out my nose and eyebrow rings for work)

What is one thing you desire as of now? To move back to the other side of the state

What kind of phone do you have? Samsung S9.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? I want to move back to the Gulf side of Florida so bad.  We will probably be doing that at some point, but I wish we could just leave now.

Do you blog a lot, if at all? Ahh..yes and no.  I do a lot of reblogging on my main blog but I don’t post a lot of things.

Is your present hair color, natural? For the most part.  I have light brown hair but got blonde highlights for my wedding in Feb.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? When people won’t listen or refuse to see another perspective.

Describe your current outfit? Stranger Things PJ shirt, sports bra and seafoam green pj pants from my homestate and black socks with yellow lightening bolts.  I don’t match at all lol

What was the last thing you ordered online? Digimon virtual pet because I’m a nerd and loved virtual pets as a kid lol

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Oh yeah, we drifted apart so much that we lost touch a few years ago :/

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Have you ever worn color contacts? Nope.

What’s the best thing about a hug? When they’re genuine, it makes you feel secure

Biggest fear? Failure

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? We’ve been together for 10 years, married for 4 months

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yeah, I know a lot of them

Do you buy your friends gifts? No, I’m a horrible gift giver :/

What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone this morning

How old are you? 32

What color headphones do you own? I’m using a gray pair right now

Have you ever shopped at Urban Outfitters? Yeah but they never had anything that fit me

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Online.  They don’t sell any cool clothes for women in regular stores (I wear a lot of video game or anime shirts..which probably doesn’t help me look my age lol)

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Ah, I’m not sure.  I only wear 1 necklace that my husband bought me but I wouldn’t wear any others.  Same with earrings, I don’t wear a lot aside from the ones that I’m currently wearing.

Do you consider yourself fortunate? Yes, I do. 

Do you enjoy watching fights? ONLY boxing, MMA/UFC, and that type of thing.  I do not like watching any other fights or arguments.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No

Do you tend to talk badly about people? Only when they’re being mean to me.

Where are your parents as of now? I dont know, probably at home

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? Generally, yes

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Not really but I definitely want to create some when I have kids.

When did you last go to a book store? I specifically remember going to Barnes and Noble sometime in November (2019) because I bought books 10 and 11 of Wheel of Time AND we found an Advent Calendar (I was really excited about it because we wanted one the year before but they were all sold out on Dec 1st. like, I remember that specifically lol.

What’s the closest book store where you live? Super close, like 10 min away

How much money do you have on you right now? I’m not sure, like $20?

Favorite physical feature? My eyes I guess

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Whatever is leftover after washing my face when I got home from work (I only wear eyeliner and mascara anyway)

Favorite television channel? I don’t have regular TV or cable.  I use either Netflix or Hulu (or Funimation for anime). 

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? I have 4 tattoos (a heart on each ankle and a nautical star on each hip).  Currently, I only have my bellybutton, nose, eyebrow pierced as well as my ears (conch, rook, industrial, and tragus).  I had my lobes pierced (4 holes up, 8 holes total) but those are pretty much closed.

Have you ever been fired from a job? No, I’ve always quit

Are you currently losing a best friend? I lost mine a long time ago (I mean, I have my husband but that isn’t the same as having a female best friend)

Describe the worst day of your life: I’m thankful I haven’t had anything extremely bad.  I’ve had a lot of bad days but nothing that has been the worst.

Do you play any video games? Oh yes, we play a lot of video games.

Would you say you hate anyone? No

Do you think freckles are cute? Yeah

Last time you went to the mall? Couple months ago

Name something that’s your favorite color: Ahh...the galaxy.  I love the blues, greens, purples of the galaxy

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yes, but it has been a very long time!

Do you judge by appearances? I try not to.  You can never fully judge someone just on looks.

Do you follow a certain religion? No, I’m kind of agnostic I guess.

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? I don’t really have one

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair

What are you most self conscious about? My teeth.  They’re not bad but I just don’t like them.

Do you have any family members who live out of town? All of them.  We’re the only ones that live here (my in-laws live on the other side of the state but they’re snowbirds - here for 6 months then back in our homestate for 6 months)

Do you consider yourself short? Yes, I’m about 5 ft.

What room are you in? The living area.

Hoodies or jackets? Don’t really have a use for them in FL but hoodies I guess.

Are you outside a lot? Not really, its Summer and getting hot. 

Have you ever been dumped via text message? UGH yes, on AIM/AOL Online TWICE! It sucked but I was only dating those two guys for a month so it wasn’t that big of deal.  Plus this was like 15 years ago lol

Do you like dreamcatchers? Eh

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t like any one letter over another

Do you hate repetitive people and things? It depends

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? Ah, it depends on my mood lol sometimes its funny but when I’m mad, I don’t want to say “ducking”

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? No

What movie scares you the most? Any horror movies, I don’t like them

What was your bedtime as a child? I’m not sure, it obviously changed as I got older

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: I like New Years, I just like the feeling of starting a new year (or even the start of the month for that matter.)

Do you work with any close friends? No. Everyone I work with are nice but I don’t have anything in common with them.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? Maybe a little but I spoil myself.

Do you listen to any country music? Not at all

Favorite high school teacher: I liked Mr. Peterson, I honestly forgot what he taught but he was hilarious

Do you ever get drunk? Not as much anymore (I don’t handle hangovers as well anymore as I did when I was younger lol) but I still have a drink occasionally

Have you ever had highlights before? Yes, I have them now.  Although they’re growing out

Favorite number: 4.

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? No

What is your biggest regret in life? Not knowing what I wanted to do when I was younger.  I have a career but I’m iffy about it.  I wish I had a passion or something I really wanted to do for a living.

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? I have some stupid sort of social anxiety.  I never used to be like this so I don’t know how it developed.  I just get nervous talking with people.

Are you normally an independent person? Yes I am

Do you have any paintings? No, our walls are bare because I don’t want to put holes in an apartment wall.  When we get a house, I will definitely be putting up something.

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? Ah, I’m not sure. Maybe shirts with ridiculous shoulder pads from the 80s? lol

Do you like to be organized? Oh yeah, I like my things in a specific order

Have you ever failed a class before? No.

Ever been judged because of your weight? Not really

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? I haven’t had cereal in a long time...I want to maybe say Count Chocula! Do they even make that anymore?

Ever had a wish come true? Yeah.

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No, before my husband I my relationships only lasted like a month so meh

Do you own any coloring books? No

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? Just stupid things like “shorty” or “shrimp”.  But I’ve also been called a bitch in an argument

Have you ever bullied someone? No.

Do you ever watch Lifetime? No

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? No.

Do you own any brown clothing? I’m sure I do

What color are your walls painted? They’re like a cream color

Last thing you drank: Water at work

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? No, that would be terrifying!

Do you have an in-ground pool at your house? I do at the apartment I live in (but we dont’ use it).  We also had one growing up

What is the first digit of your phone number? 6

What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? UGH, the city I lived in a year ago :/

Do you tend to sleep a lot? Not really. I actually get about 6 to 7 hours and I function just fine

Silver or gold jewelry? White gold I guess?

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? We did sometimes when I was younger.  Like spend Thanksgiving a week early with my Mom’s side of the family then actually on Thanksgiving with my Dads or vice versa

Have you ever been in love? Yeah :)

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? I’m not sure

When was the last time you showered? This morning

Would you consider yourself attractive? I’m okay, not too bad

Has anyone made you mad today? Not really mad, but I got annoyed with one of my co-workers earlier.

Favorite smell: Rain, coffee

Are you afraid of insects? Ah, I find them fascinating, actually.  But doesn’t mean I want to be next to them!

Do you have any children? No :/

If so, what are their names? Would ever consider having children in the future? Absolutely!  I was actually hoping to have them by now but we’re still trying to find somewhere to settle down.  I want to be sure we have a stable home (we’ve moved around a lot) and financially stable before we have them.

Have you ever lived on a farm? No but I LOVE farming games lol (like Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley)

Ever played any sports? I played baseball and soccer in middle school and I was in Track in high school

Do both of your parents have jobs? Yes

Where is the last place you’ve been on vacation? We went on a cruise to Nassau and Bahamas immediately after getting married in Feb.

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? Um, not really that they won’t accept me but I’m worried I’ll get bored with someone and push them away.

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? Yes, I am

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? No, some friends of mine did as a kid though and I hated when they did it :/

Do you like to make donations? It depends.  As long as whatever I’m donating is actually going to the person/organization/charity, then yes.

What is your current ringtone? It is a cover of “However/Glay” by Jinho from Pentagon (a kpop group).  I LOVE this song and can’t get enough of it.  I also love Jinho’s voice.

Meet anyone from your past lately? No, it would be very weird to run into anyone I previously knew from my hometown in my current city.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? LOL wellllllll not on fire BUT I accidentally singe’d/scorched my brother’s stuffed animal by leaving it sitting on the bedside lamp when I was maybe like 7?  OH man, my Mom yelled at me and I’m extremely thankful I didn’t set the house on fire!!! It had scorched marks on it ><

Ever been obsessed with a show? OH yeah, I binged My Hero Academia recently and 90 Day Fiance...I typically binge shows lol

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? I dont’ wear any

What’s the last book you read? I’m currently reading “Legends of the Älfar” by Markus Heitz.  They’re basically the evil version of Elves.  I’m not sure if I’d recommend it because its kinda...well..they’re not good creatures lol BUT I would 100% recommend “The Dwarves” also written by Markus Heitz.  Its SO GOOD!

Dream career: I honestly have no idea.  I wish I knew.

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? Yes!  We used to live in Washington (state), so we’d go hike around Mt. Rainer occasionally.  It was beautiful there (so green!) and I do miss living there sometimes.

At what age do you plan to get married? We got married 4 months ago.

Ever been in a car accident? Yeah but only fender-benders.