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getitoutofmymindwrites · 8 months ago

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The crushing | joel miller x f!reader, 5.2k

Summary: This is the story of a man who had everything in the palm of his hand and traded it all for an empty space in the hollow of his heart. Or This story follows Joel, two to three years after he cheated on his wife.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, ANGST, cheater!Joel, Joel's POV, this is NOT “The Falling” from Joel's POV, brief mention of smut (p i v) but nothing too graphic (I think), self-loathing, depression, therapy, flashbacks and memories from the past, alcohol consumption, Tommy being a supportive brother (eventually), as always let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Ok, so, Joel gave me a whiplash on this one, he was either staring at me through the screen giving me nothing, or he was mumbling unintelligibly in my ear while I was trying to keep up with him. It started out as a final chapter, but I really think that this part should be Joel's POV and the next and -probably- final one should be the resolving, however that may come. I guess it can be read as a standalone, but if you're interested, it's a sequel to “The Falling”. I edited it seven thousand times because I kept adding things along the way, so I hope it all makes some sense and there are not too many mistakes.. Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all! 🥰😘

P.S.: I just wanted to take a moment and let you know that I really appreciate everyone who has read, liked, commented, reblogged and asked about “The Falling”. I honestly didn't think a single soul would take the time to read that kind of story. It means more than you know and I didn’t take lightly how close to home this fic hit for some people; yet you’ve given it a chance, sharing some of your own experiences with me. I love you all, take care and I'll see you -hopefully- in the comments! 🥹🫂

Dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics

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...need your reassurance...

...your only focus…

...for the foreseeable future...

He did make it his sole focus. Because of course, he closed the deal, even after he left that damn table like a madman. He still found a way to get what he wanted. That's the man he was. And he wasn't sure if he hated himself for it or not. But self-loathing was a daily occurrence now, so one more reason added to the list was nothing he couldn't handle.

For two years he would wake up every day, is it called waking up if he doesn’t sleep at all?, he would work his ass off, he would go home, he would sink into despair and then he would start all over again the next day. A vicious cycle consisting of 730 days in a row. The deafening silence within the walls of the house was excruciating, the loneliness was unbearable. Even the light penetrating through the windows seemed different than when you were there with him, a dullness surrounding every corner of the now barely lived in space.

You. He hadn’t seen your face in 730 days. He hadn’t smelled your scent or touched your soft skin. He barely listened to your voice anymore, any form of unavoidable communication, you preferred to be conducted by the lawyers, or via text messages, at the most. At the 731st one, he finally knew, something had to change. He couldn’t repeat another day, like all the others that came and went. He simply couldn’t.

Tommy suggested that therapy might help Joel, a few times, but he refused every one of them. Maria was keeping her distance, her place was delicate, being his brother’s wife but also his wife’s best friend. Surprisingly, she was the one who finally got through to him.

“Are you gonna stay a recluse for the rest of your miserable life, then?” Maria wonders, switching her gaze between Joel and the dining room. Everything was untouched, as you left them when you moved out, but the place felt empty, depressing, probably mirroring Joel’s existence.

Joel sighs, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m not a recluse..”, he snarls through his teeth, rolling his eyes at her. He was more than eager to be done with the dinner his sister-in-law insisted on having in his house and be left alone, in his natural state. Alone. Infuriating woman.

“What do you call that?”, Maria persists, goddamn lawyer to the bone.

“What?!” Joel spits back pissed off, looking at his brother next, for support.

“That!” she gestures around his body and his surroundings. “The way you go on for the past two years! Either get over it or do something about it!”, she doesn’t hold back, even when Tommy proposes a gentler approach. Yeah, look where it got you, is the paid answer, so Tommy steps back, shaking his head and raising his hands up in surrender.

“You’ve got him on a leash, hm?”, Joel jokes absentmindedly, “Can you breathe alright, Tommy boy?”, earning himself a hard glare from Maria.

“Maybe the wrong Miller is on a leash..” Maria mutters, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen in horror.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Joel retorts doing a double back at her.

“Means that freedom is for those who can bear it.”, Maria throws her napkin on her plate and leaves the room. Joel remains silent, pondering the meaning of her words. It would be a long time before he understood what she meant.

Therapy was hard.

Therapy was hard because he had to do it for himself. He had to concentrate on himself. He thought, being the contractor that he was, that he would walk into the room, get the answers he needed and fix his marriage, just as he rearranged the bricks and the wood and the steel on the construction sites.

But this wasn’t about his marriage. His marriage and the way it crumbled down was the aftermath, he came to learn. It was the outcome of insecurities, selfishness, lack of communication, ungratefulness.

He got it all wrong. Everything. Every little thing. He had to rewire his brain and change every point of view he was holding onto. Honesty. Honesty was the key.

“Why didn’t you reach out to your wife after that night?”, his therapist insists.

“I respected her boundaries.”, Joel was quick to respond.

“And what were those?”

“She didn’t want to see me.”

“Did she say that?”

“No-, I mean-, the way she left that night, she didn’t say much in general. But she blocked my number, so.”, he shrugs in defence.

“So, how can you be so sure that she didn't want to see you? Even if you're right, it doesn't mean that she didn't expect a reaction from you, or that you weren't allowed to try, if that’s what you wanted.”

“Why would she? I upset her, she needed time to think, work things out.”, Joel explains.

The therapist swipes her fingers over her lips, contemplating her approach. “Joel, you walk into your bedroom, into what is supposed to be a safe place and you see your partner with another person in an intimate moment. How does that make you feel? Just say the first words that come to mind.”, his therapist changes the point of view.

Joel shudders just at the thought of it. You, naked, flushed, lips parted and swollen, skin sweaty, breaths short and pupils blown wide, coming for anyone other than him. It would utterly destroy him. “Furious, pissed, betrayed, heartbroken.. I think I would lose it, if I’m honest.” he admits instantly, in his haste to throw the abomination of this image from his thoughts.

“I see. But in her case, you think your wife was just upset?”

“No, of course not.” Joel slightly frowns, shaking his head.

“Do you think she felt all those feelings that you just described to me?”

“I believe so, yes.”, god this is so hard.

“You believe so?” the therapist pushes, again.

Joel’s nostrils flare from the sharp inhale, “I know so.”

“So, she wasn’t just upset.” the therapist concludes and Joel agrees without meeting her eyes, “No, she wasn’t.”

Over time, Joel came to realize that his choice of words was a subconscious attempt to diminish the seriousness of his actions.

“You said in a previous session that you gave space to your wife to work things out.”

“Yeah, it was only fair.”, Joel confirms.

“So, it was hard for you to give her that space?”

“Yes, of course, I missed her every day.”

“Was that a constant in your relationship?”, the therapist wonders.

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“How did you work things out as a couple, before? I assume you had difficult times as partners, no?”

“Nothing major to be honest, my wife was a very calm and reasonable person. If anything occurred she would talk to me about it.”

“And how did you respond to that?”

“Uh, I was there to listen, we always found a solution together as a couple.”

“Hmhm, so, what changed this time?”

“What do you mean?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“Why didn’t you talk to her? Communicate with her? Maybe help her see your side of things, like you did before, find your way out of this together, as partners.” his therapist explains. “And even before the infidelity, did you let her know that something was bothering you, that you felt differently?”

"I didn't feel differently about my wife. My feelings for her never changed.", he immediately corrects her. "My love for her was never the problem," he confesses and it's the first time since his therapy began that he's shared something so personal, so private.

“But there was a problem, something was wrong if you felt the need to be intimate with another woman. So, why did you keep that from her?”

Joel opens his mouth already knowing he does not have an answer. Or that he doesn't want to give one. He shakes his head, raising his brows in a silent admission that he can’t answer that. Or he won't. His gaze is fixed on a loose thread on the fabric of the couch, his fingers keep picking on it.

“Joel?”

“I- I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t know.” he keeps shaking his head. He can’t answer that. He won't.

He was so angry when he left the session that day. He was so angry at you. He was angry at your honesty, your clarity, your courage to have a mind of your own and to speak it freely, knowing full well that probably no one else shared the same opinions as you did. That's what he loved most about you, but now he hated it.

“Own it, Joel. Own what you have done. At least that way it will be worth something. Otherwise it was all for nothing.”

This was one of the last things you said to him on the phone, while he was trying to persuade you to change your mind about the divorce. You were always so brave about those matters. Matters of the heart, of integrity. He remembers you always talking about things that he found admirable but utopian. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

“I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to own my decisions; not because I’m always right, far from it, but at least I know I’m being honest with myself. And that matters.” he recalls one of your late-night talks.

You usually found it easier to share your most vulnerable thoughts once you were thoroughly fucked and satiated. When Joel held you in his arms, your breaths almost shared over the same pillow, your scents and your fluids mixed together.

“We’re all imperfect beings, flawed; we all feel embarrassed when we fuck up,” you continue, “it’s hard to admit our mistakes to others, I get that. But deep down we always know what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Admitting it only helps us to be present in our lives.”

“Be present?”, Joel seems fascinated by the way your mind weaves your thoughts together into deeply rooted beliefs.

“Yes, my love, there's no greater freedom than to live your life truthfully.” you smile at him, softly. Your sleepy eyes roam his face affectionately. Your fingertips caress his jawline, your thumb pressing lightly against the bare patch of his beard. He can feel your devotion pouring from your fingers and sinking into his skin at that moment.

“That’s one of my greatest fears, you know. Living my life in ignorance, in a lie.”, you whisper your deepest insecurity against his soft lips. His hold on you tightens as he rolls you onto your back, nestling his hips between your welcoming thighs. You are safe in these arms. His arms. You surrender to him, body and soul. You can feel his growing erection pressing between your folds, already wet from your combined releases. He tenderly brushes his lips against yours and slowly licks his way into your parted mouth, as he intertwines his fingers with yours. He enters you in one fluid, slow thrust, his warm exhale cooling your wet lips. “Then let me give you something real.”

Thinking back to those moments, Joel couldn't reconcile himself to the fact that he was the one who had brought that fear of yours to life. What broke him was that it was not a lie. Your life together had not been a lie. He loved you. In fact, he was burning up for you. He was a man of control, but not with you. Never with you. You consumed his every thought; being around you for too long made his lungs constrict in pain, begging for a deep breath. Sometimes he was worried sick that if he completely let himself love you like he needed to, he would suffocate you. He loved you. And it killed him that his actions suggested otherwise.

But at some point he had to be honest with himself. He was just protecting his ego. He was trying to get the upper hand out of a shitty, compromising situation. He wasn't being thoughtful, he was being selfish. He was biding his time. He thought the longer he left ‘it’ untouched, the less it would hurt when the inevitable time of confrontation came. He was scared out of his mind that he would lose you forever. No second chances, no redemption, no reconciliation.

No lingering scent on his pillow as your hair pools there, under his chin, as you nestle your face between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in. No laughter through the enormous house, damn, why did he build it so big; you never clarified what the disbelief in your eyes meant when he said he built this house for you, while he pulls you up on your feet for a silly cowboy dance.

No more gentle touches, no more noses brushing together as a silent goodbye in the kitchen before you rush off to work. No more turning around just before you open the door to leave, running to him like a little girl, giving him quick, hungry pecks on the lips while he laughs on your mouth, squeezes your butt cheek and slaps it playfully to say goodbye. Later, baby, he would promise you, his teeth nipping at your earlobe and he could feel your skin crawling with anticipation.

No more I love yous, either breathed, either whispered, either panted, as he makes a home for himself inside your warmth.

When did he fuck you last? He used to have you every day. You craved it every day. You craved him. Why did he stop telling you he loved you every chance he got? When was the last time you said it?

A week before that fateful night, when you touched him longingly, aching for him to touch you back and he told you he had work to do, he wasn’t a teenager anymore. Why the hell did he say that? Why did he sit there and watch the light fading from your eyes? I love you, you said with a sigh against his temple and walked out of his office defeated. Why did you say that? Did you know? Did you suspect? Why didn’t you fight him? You should have said something, anything, pushed him, punched him in the chest, woken him up. Would he have woken up? Or did he need that to come to his senses? Does he have to fall? Does this falling ever stop? Does he have to let you go? Will you come back to him? Does he deserve you?

Days blurred seamlessly into one another. Joel drifted further and further away from everyone. The house haunted him, all the progress he was making within the therapy walls was dissipating once he stepped inside the cold space of his empty house. Leaving the confines of it was his first thought in the morning, while he hurriedly dressed to go to his office far earlier than necessary and his last when he closed his eyes, as he laid his weary limbs on the couch, chasing still your now long gone scent on its fabric, knowing another sleepless night was his only companion until the first rays of sunlight hit the floor-to-ceiling windows to announce the beginning of another day.

People at work tiptoed around him, not knowing how to act. It was as if he was there, but not really. He was focused solely on the Marks project, mechanically going through board meetings, paperwork and supervising the construction site. He. Just. Wasn’t. There.

Joel, will you please sign the papers?

He simply stares at the text message for a good full minute, his thumbs hovering over the screen of his phone. This was one of the rare occasions you had initiated communication with him, always about the progress of the divorce.

No, no, I won’t, the little toddler in him screams, stamping his little feet on the ground.

The papers are not ready.

Joel texts back. He keeps it simple, frightened he might not get an answer back.

Joel, we both know they are. I don’t want any of your assets or your money; this is an easy signature, please.

An easy signature? You think he cares about the houses, or the cars, or the money?

You know I can’t accept that. The house is yours and so is a good part of the money.

The point was to share this house together, Joel, don’t you think us splitting up kind of defeats the purpose? And what on earth makes you think I would ever want to go back in there?

So, there’s nothing I can do to make this easier for you?

Easier? You think money or property can make up for what you’ve done?

Of course not, I wasn’t implying anything like that. Just wanna do something for you, anything.

Can you turn back time?

Of course, he can't. So, he doesn't know what to say to that. He just keeps staring at the screen, lost in thought. After 2 minutes another text follows.

You know I can’t..

Sign the papers. Please.

“Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today, or should I take the lead?”

“Actually I’ve been thinking a lot about that night.”, Joel suggests for the first time. He usually lets the therapist decide where to steer the conversation, then simply refuses to elaborate until he feels ready to talk.

“What about it?”, he shifts his gaze from the window to the direction of her voice.

“I should probably rephrase that. I’m always thinking about that night, repeating it in my head again and again and I’m troubled by something I realized.”

His therapist nods to signal that she's listening.

“Why did she just leave? The more I think about it, the more it doesn’t make sense to me. She just left. No shouting, no breaking things, no attacking either me or-”, her. “Why she didn’t stay? Why she didn’t insist that I leave? She was just- so quiet.”

The therapist smiles in recognition of Joel's near breakthrough. They were beginning to get somewhere, his empathy nudging him under the surface.

“I'm really glad you mentioned that, Joel, so I'd like to take you back to that night and try to understand what might have been going through your wife's mind at that moment," she explains.

“So, she walks into the house, finds her safe space violated by her husband, and she chooses to handle the situation calmly and quietly-” Joel tries to stop her, but she already knows what he's going to ask. “I can't tell you why she chose that path, that's for her to answer, only she knows why.” His therapist continues, “She is making one request of you and one request only, can you tell me what it is?”

“She asked me to leave the house.”

“Hmhm.” the therapist looks at him expectantly.

“I just wanted to talk to her.”, Joel elaborates, “I thought that if I refused to leave, she would accept to listen to me.”

“So you forced your needs on her, while she was in a particularly fragile state of mind.”

“I should have made my intentions clearer, you mean?”

“I mean, that maybe you shouldn’t have had any expectations in the first place. Why do you think was so important to you, to explain yourself right at that moment?”

“Because I knew it was probably the last time I would see her for a while, I just wanted to ease her pain, why is that so wrong? Should I be indifferent? Would that be better?”

“Did it ever occur to you that you might be depriving her of her right to choose?” Come on, Joel, break some eggs.

Joel now begins to make connections. He rubs his hand over his face, the realization of what has really happened crushing him. “Oh, god, I-” He's been so selfish from the start. He hasn't shown you any respect, not even at this delicate moment. He didn't give you a choice as to whether you wanted to listen to him or not. He didn't even let you choose where you wanted to stay. He just made you leave the house. Did he make you believe he wanted you to leave? That he wanted her to stay? Because he didn’t. Fuck. “-I never thought about it like that.”

Fuck.

How could he be so blind? Why was he so blind?

His therapist insisted on it. Because no matter how much progress Joel made over the course of a year, he never revealed the true reason behind his infidelity.

“Joel, we’ve talked about a lot of things; you’ve tried really hard to make this all about your wife and about understanding what she was feeling and how your actions have affected her, but as I keep reminding you”, she smiles understandingly, “you’re the one in therapy, you need to heal your wounds before you even attempt to heal hers. And although it is in fact a really noble thought, this” she gestures between them, “can only work if you do it for yourself. I know it may sound selfish, but I promise you, it is not. It is the exact opposite.”

Fuck.

“Yeah?”, his voice hoarse from sleep as he answers the door after the insistent knock at it. Tommy looks at him surprised once he opens it, “You’re sleeping, already?”. No, he wasn’t. He wouldn’t call it that. But when he goes almost a week without any proper rest, passing out is the right word for what he’s doing. “Yeah, I guess I dosed off..” Joel lies. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” Tommy responds as he squeezes himself through the door to enter the house. “Yeah, sure, come on in.”, Joel mutters under his breath. “You just saw me at work this morning, is everything all right?”

“I just came to check on you.” Tommy confesses uncomfortably.

“You could have called.”

“Would you have answered?” Tommy deadpans.

Touché.

“Tell Maria I’m fine, Tommy, no need to worry about me; go spend the night where it counts.”, Joel replies in an attempt to push him away, as he walks farther into the house, rounding the kitchen island.

“Hey, brother, I’m here, I am here for you.” Tommy’s eyes narrow in pain and concern as he stares at his sibling's back, following behind him.

Joel exhales hard through his nose, his grip tight as he grabs the edges of the counter, his head lowering between his shoulder blades.

“You shouldn’t, nobody should.” Joel sighs, rubbing the pads of his fingers across his forehead.

“Ok, that’s enough.” Tommy snaps at him. “Enough self-loathing, enough resignation. Enough. You’ve punished yourself enough.”

Joel laughs at that. “Is that right? Is it enough for you? What about her?” he asks, his head turned to the side, looking at his brother over his shoulder.

“What?” Tommy is genuinely confused.

Joel turns his back, resting his waist on the edge of the counter, now looking straight at Tommy. “I should have what? Just get on with my life? Let it all be water under the bridge? Disrespect her even more?”

“Jesus..” Tommy mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand, the other resting on his hip, his eyes shut in frustration.

“Are you doing this for her? Does she even know that?”

“It doesn’t matter, Tommy!” Joel raises his voice, exasperated. “I’m not doing this for her, I’m not doing anything for her, apparently and that’s the problem.”, his voice breaks, the lump in his throat too big to push down. “She’s not here anymore, Tommy.” he’s standing fully on his feet now, pushing himself away from the counter, leaning slightly forward, like he’s trying to make his brother understand; his eyes are glazed, Tommy had never seen him so devastated before. “She’s gone. I’ve lost her.”, his palms clenched in fists in front of his chest, resisting the urge to wrap them around his shirt and rip it to shreds, as he wants to do with his heart.

“I thought therapy was working..” Tommy whispers, his eyes dropping to the floor beneath him.

“Oh, it’s working, all right!” Joel chuckles in irony, sniffing his nose. “I’m getting a front-row seat, witnessing what a piece of shit I am-”

“Hey!” Tommy tries to cut him off.

“-what on earth was she doing with me to begin with, is beyond me.”

“HEY!” Tommy's eyes bulge out of his sockets, angry at his brother's self-deprecating words. Joel bends his waist forward, puts his elbows on the island in front of him and lets his head sink in again.

“Ok.” Tommy breathes deeply to ground himself, his hands in a position of a prayer in front of his mouth, “Ok, we could both use a drink.” he realizes, as he moves to open the cupboard to grab two tumblers and the whiskey from the shelf with the drinks. “..or five.”

The two brothers drink their first round in silence, both calming their nerves down. Tommy refills their glasses without asking; he knows this is going to be a long night.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Tommy begins, pushing Joel’s drink back towards him. Joel wringles his brows in confusion, “What are you talking about? You’re always there for me.”

“No, I haven’t, not really.” Tommy admits, “I let Maria take over when all this happened and I’m sorry.”

“There was nothing you could do, Tommy, don’t sweat it.”

“Let me say this, please.” Tommy raises his hand, his palm facing his brother. “I was just- fuck, we all knew how much you loved her, how much you loved each other, so when it all went down, I just didn’t know how to deal with it. What to say to you, how to comfort you. I didn't know how to deal with you.”

“You blamed me.” Joel says matter-of-factly.

“No-”, Tommy weakly refuses but Joel shakes his head dismissively, interrupting him. “It’s ok, Tommy, you should.”

Tommy looks embarrassed, his cheeks slightly pinkish, not only from the whiskey. “It’s just that I- I couldn’t reconcile the image of the man you were with her, with.. you know..”, he stutters.

“..the image of a cheater. Say it.” Joel adds.

Tommy shakes his head, like he still can't believe what's happened. “Besides, while she was staying with us those first few weeks I saw how devastated she was, man- she was a shell of a woman, so I was confused, I didn’t know how-”

“Tommy. Tommy, it’s fine.” Joel feels his skin crawl visualizing you like that in his head, cutting his brother off once again; he deserves every ounce of mistrust and he knows it.

“No, it’s not.” Tommy insists. “Yes, you fucked up. Brother, you really did. You did a number on her-”, Joel’s body tenses instantly at his brother’s words, his jaw clenching as his eyes darken, moving down to his hands, his grip on the tumbler tightening, his knuckles turning white and Tommy stops abruptly, “shit, sorry, I didn’t mean-”, his face twitches with regret.

“It’s the truth. That’s exactly what I did.” Joel’s gaze seems detached as if he's somewhere else right now.

“What I meant to say, is that I should have been there for you in spite of what has happened. I can see you're suffering, it's taking its toll on you, it has been for some time now; tell me what I can do. How can I help you?” Tommy seems almost desperate, like he’s the one in need of redemption.

Your text flashes through his mind, can you turn back time?, making him smile bitterly.

“Can you turn back time?” Joel's repeating your question and as the words leave his mouth he can feel your presence next to him. That's the most he felt of you for the last three years. He's almost blissful.

“You know I can't.” Tommy sighs. Joel laughs earnestly, the irony of the moment too good not to appreciate.

“Joel, brother, please, just talk to me. Help me understand. You act like you’re the one who’s been cheated on. So, what happened? Why did you do it?” Tommy is pleading with him to give him anything.

Silence fills the room for much longer than either of them would like. Joel feels torn between telling his brother everything or keeping his mouth shut. He wants to tell him, he hasn’t told a soul, but he’s not sure he can get the words out. He’s not sure he can bear to hear the words coming out of his mouth. He’s not sure he can substantiate it, make it real. Because that’s how it feels. He talks about it and it becomes real.

But maybe this is the right thing to do. That’s what needs to be done. He needs to talk about it. He needs to tell the truth and admit the pain he’s caused. Make it real for you, too. Perhaps it is time for him to give you what is rightfully yours. Acknowledgment.

Joel’s made up his mind. He’s gonna talk to Tommy. He lifts his glass to down his drink for some liquid courage, freezing his hand in mid-air as the next words fall from his brother’s mouth. “First of all, who was it?”

“What?” Joel's eyes search Tommy’s through his glass for an explanation.

“Who did you do?”, Tommy clarifies.

Joel feels like he’s been struck by lightning. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Who did you fuck, Joel?”, Tommy begins to feel confused, are they not on the same page here?

“You don’t know?”, Joel can barely speak now, his voice low in shock.

“No one does, not even Maria; she never told anyone.”

You told nobody? Not even your best friend? Why on earth would you do that? Did you feel ashamed? Was it just too much to talk about?

But his brain takes pity on him, helping him for once to understand. He’s connecting the dots while your voice fills the corners of his mind through his memories. His head is swarming with images of you standing in that walk-in closet, remembering what you said the last time he saw you. You’re the one I married, not her. I expected better from you, Joel, not her.

You were right.

It didn’t matter who it was. That is why. He was the one making the choice. He was the one breaking his promises, breaking your trust, breaking your heart; breaking you. He was the one who should have known better. He was the one who should have been honest. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

He feels a fresh wave of pain scattering through his body. He welcomes it. Damn, he’s craving it. He’s glad you chose to withhold the identity of the woman. Not because somehow it’s making it easier for him to defend himself, on the contrary.

There’s no one else to blame. Nobody. Just him. All of the anger, the resentment, the disappointment, all of them on him. He embraces them all. Everything. He will take it all, swallow it down and let it rot inside of him.

Joel tells Tommy everything. Everything, but her name.

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Taglist: @southernbe, @orcasoul, @auteurdelabre

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kyri45 · 17 days ago

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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 28/10✨

I'll be streaming on my Twitch page TOMORROW at 1PM ET!

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will MK have a power neither Wukong nor Macaque have ?

Probably something that is a mix of each parent power, creating something new. Like- He can hear the past, but can also use his gold vision. SO maybe he learns not only to hear to past, but also see it (but maybe instead of being gold the vision is purple)

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does MK have nightmares about LBD or Azures death or something? @the-ninja-girl-in-blue ha chiesto: I swear for some reason, even after returning back to his normal age, I still can’t help but picture MK having a nightmare in the middle of the night and just starts chirping in his sleep because of it and that ends up getting the attention of his two monkey dads. I can’t help but picture them either waking him up and asking him about the nightmare into his bed to cuddle with him to hopefully calm him down. I also kind of like the idea of them offering to let him stay in their bed with them for the night. basically, I just wanna see them comforting MK after he has a nightmare. For some reason, I could see the nightmare being about either LBD or about the ending of season five when he attempts suicide.

Yes he does have nightmares about that. He usually does, most times he's at Pigsy's, and Freenoodle is there to help him. He hasn't had a LBD nightmare at FFM yet, but even as an adult he would totally chirp without noticing it.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Angst idea what if heaven was scared of MK being the "harbinger of chaos" and took him away as a baby locking him away instead. It's up to you if wukong knew of his existence before he was taken. Eventually someone or something releases him. MK Finds out why he was locked away and just goes on a rampage through heaven bonus angst wukong has to stop him

Do heaven even knew he was the harbinger of chaos? Like seriously I don't remember if it was ever stated in the show. Honestly is crazy no one picked up that kid aurea. Makes you wonder who te fuck put such a powerful glamour on him when he was found by Pigsy.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi :D i wanted to say that i LOOOVE the bioparents au, it's so lovely 💖 and, i must ask, will we get more cliché scenes with our little monkeys? like accidental fall or something on this lines? i need my clichés back 😭😭

eeehhhhh maybe? I'm not too much of a fan of clichè I'll be honest, mostly bc I see them around all the time and I prefer to do something new.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be funny if MK started subconsciously mimicking things from his friends and family. little things like putting his shoes the same way Teng does. Standing in the same posture as Mei. Ext. Monkeys often will mimic each other as a sign of fondness and affection. Monkey see monkey do.

I think he already does that in the show with Wukong sometimes! It's super cute!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Okay hear me out, since mk kinda saw their past and everything. Does mk possibly have small abandonment issues (not that he doesn’t already) and does he hear little moments in the past of macaque and Wukong’s pain. By the way I absolutely love your art!!! I check your page everyday. 💕

I think if he ever said that to Wukong he'll make sure that every.single.day. he reminds him that he'll never leave his side.

@tinyplanetss ha chiesto: regarding the latest biodads update, did wukong ever know that macaque panicked and lashed out way back then due to seeing his "betrayal" in his future vision? i can't imagine it would've come up before he mentioned it to mk, unless they had a talk about it after their rooftop apology.....

I think they talked about it during the night Wukong apologized to Macaque. The comic I did stops after a certain point but they talked all night about what happened.

Anonimo ha chiesto: (Macaque on some late night mission): I've got to get back before Wukong realizes I'm not in bed. (Wukong who woke up and had a nightmare): Macaque.. MACAQUE

They can't stand being apart anymore now.

@eerieqloss ha chiesto: Wait I got a question, at the beginning of the Shadowpeach bio parent AU When they found out MK was their son biologically through Nuwa of course. But how did they get to her and ask her? I don't know why this question just randomly appeared in my head

Now that MK "opened the gate" access to other deities is much more easier.

@bottyshaker-900o ha chiesto: Wait! Does MK know they sleep together now!?

He did 2+2.

@youroriku ha chiesto: If MK monkey form is showing more or will there be a comic where he lost Control over it ?Recently, fewer people talk about it. Btw i love your art ❤️🌸🫶

mmm... Maybe not in my current timeline. Maybe more in the future. I don't think MK himself wants to loose control again like with Azure

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hii love your art! Wouldn't it be funny if someone was trying to have a serious conversation with Wukong and Macaque and baby MK is just climbing all over their shoulders and they're completely unfaced by it cuz it's like 'yeah this is normal just let him play' but whoever they're talking with can't focus on anything but MK's shinanigans.

hehehe baby shenanigans my beloved

Anonimo ha chiesto: I'll admit I'm more into the chubby, dad bod gang for Wukong but the way you draw buff wukong also makes me happy too! ^-^

Thank you!

@ketsuruithekiller ha chiesto: I like to suffer. So I would like to know if Wukong still has thoughts of guilt. If he fully accepted Mk's decision not to be his successor, without having the idea that like others he would hate it and leave at some point.

ye he does sometimes have the paranoia. But MK is there also to remind him that he'll always be in his life.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are Wukong and Macaque, in your bio parents au, back together? Or is it a situationship? I'm sorry if it's already been stated in the story or if you've already answered something like this. I'm just a brain-dead potato who loves your comic.

Nah they still are in the progress of having to forgive each other but they are very much in a situationship.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ello Ello, do you think any of the three monkeys would know how to take care of a sick person? Or would they just have to go to sandy or pigsy or someone?

I think yes. Canonically by JTTW, Wukong is an expert in many fields, including medicine. But I do wonder if sometimes he forget after so many years of reclusion that people can get sick.

Anonimo ha chiesto: So Wukong was stuck in the memory of MK sacrificing himself ? Was it identical to the scene in season 5 or was his dream different ? Poor Wukong looked so traumatized

It was the same as S5

Anonimo ha chiesto: I love, LOVE your bio au! I enjoy a lot!!!! Question! Wukong and Macaque have any chance to go to a date?

mmm maybe in the future

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know Is not the case but At some point, hasn't Pigsy felt a little jealous or strange of how MK goes directly to Wukong or Macacke when he has a problem?

I think Freenoodle is taking the opportunity of having the second set of parents to annoy the heck out of them and redirect all the akward questions and advices the kid ask them because "we had to do it for 21 years now you get to have the annoying part of parenting as well"

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto: Hello!! I absolutely love your art and I am currently watching your twitch (Which I can't log into and type in chat for some reason😭) but anyways. I also have a question if you ship Mei with anyone? Like a side character or Spindrax or someone else or if you make her Aroace or just don't generally ship her or smth! :) But besides that I love your art style and the way you draw everything!! Thank you for drawing this stuff and feeding my LMK hyperfixation!!

I do also ship Dragon fruit. Just in my comic I kind of had to choose one ship for now.

wolfsonic ha chiesto: Since we know WuKong is the bottom of ShadowPeach. Who's the bottom in SpiceyNoodles?

MMMMMMMMM TOO SOON TO SAY.

@draxeanlxia ha chiesto: Bio!Parents AU question, who does the laundry and who’s not allowed to touch the laundry because he’ll ruin your clothes without meaning to? For me, I think Wukong would be the one doing laundry while Macaque isn’t allowed near the washing machine. But that’s just me, what’s yours?

yeah seems fitting!

Anonimo ha chiesto: If MK started blushing when he saw Red Son in his true form I wonder how he would react to seeing Red Son shirtless with muscles and abs in that form XD

I headcanon MK as demisexual so probably he would notice and appreciate the aesthetic attraction but wouldn't be TOO flustered. In this case, it's RedSon who's the Wukong of the two of them (being flustered by like, seeing 2% of MK back or smt.)

Anonimo ha chiesto: So I wondered if Xiaotian's powers were like Steven's, since they responded to his emotions

yep.

Anonimo ha chiesto: If they decide to have a baby who will be pregnant macaque or wukong!?

I think I said it already once but I don't think that's how baby Stone Monkeys are born??? Like how would carry a stone inside your body work that's the thing. There's is to say they are demons who knows how they work honestly.

Anonimo ha chiesto:Will the calabash return ?

nope

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Mei have a true form? Doesn’t seem fair that MK and Red Son have super forms and Mei doesn’t. I think she should be able to be a straight up dragon.

Doesn't she already goes straight up dragon in the show?

@phantom-premeir ha chiesto: Okay this is a pretty dumb question but I gotta know, out of the monkey trio whose the biggest crash out,just an absolute mess of a person?

I think Wukong

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are we gonna see a wedding of these gay monkeys?

Who knows.

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto:Oh my gosh, the new chapter is amazing, now we defiantly know Macaque has probably courtnapped Wukong >:3 I also have another question! Perhaps in the future will Macaques sacrifice be brought up? Like, yeah, he came back. But the guy was gone for days and who knows what he saw in there and/or what memories he saw because he was probably stuck in those for days. But just wondering if you might bring that up in the future? :) Make sure to take breaks, drink water and eat something!! >:(

Oh yeah that ahah. Maybe?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Imagine MK's sacrifice in season 5 would happen AFTER Macaque and Wukong found out that he is their son. This would make it even more heartbreaking

Bruh... Xiaotian wouldn't have been able to move an inch again from Wukong after he came back.

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wait... Is Wukong going to have to find a new successor now that MK won't be it?

Maybe what he will look for wont be a successor.... but an heir.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Is the monkey's tail sensitive or smt!? I mean what will happen if u pull it ?

We r getting into NSFW territory here...

Anonimo ha chiesto:who do u think is the fluffiest monkey? Also what happens if said monkey got towel dried and poofed up?

MK, becasue he's a cub by stone monkey standard. He would become a fur ball.

arrow-artzz ha chiesto: Hello! I just wanna say, I love your art style and this whole ShadowPeach parent au ur making and I get so hyped and excited when I see a new part/ep come out!! I hope ur having fun with it and keep up the great work, you do a fantastic job, and you also inspire me to keep trying small art projects at home!! I truly hope you’re having a wonderful night, after noon or night! also think it would be cute if the whole gang did a movie night (Halloween movie) at FFM and one scene comes up and macaque used Wukong as a shield as if the movie was real :3 sorry this was long I tap a lot “^^

I think Wukong would be the one scared. Macaque is literally has sleep paralysis monsters has pets

#ask box #shadowpeach bio parents au

198 notes · View notes

singmyaubade · 1 year ago

Text

No Longer Yours

James Potter x Female!Reader

IB: In The Cold November Rain by @sweetsweetjellybean (Make sure to check it out, it’s incredible and one of the best I’ve ever read !)

A/N: First, I apologize for my time writing this; it just had to be perfect! I am so grateful that you all love my story enough to give it so much love and support and practically beg for a part 3; thank you so much. I had no idea how to start and continue this, so please be kind. I really hope you guys enjoy this part, and I hope it's everything you dreamed of <3

Summary: James had disregarded you for multiple years, but when you have an epiphany in your final year, how does it feel to taste his own medicine?

Warning: It may contain swearing and soon-to-be smut.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

"Shh.. don't wake her up!" You heard Lily whisper in your half-asleep state as the sun peeked at you through the blinds.

"It's Marlene's big oger feet," Mary snorted.

"Hey! My feet are not the size of oger feet," Marlene replied, sticking out her tongue.

"Shh!" Lily warned.

You heard the shuffling of paper and steps as you opened your eyes to see your best friends hanging up decorations, a smile appearing on your face immediately.

"Oh, bollocks," Lily sighed, face-palming, "Happy birthday!" She yelled, half annoyed but half happy there was a smile on your face. She embraced you as you sat upright in bed, glad to see your friend's dedication to your birthday.

The rest of them told you a happy birthday, embracing you in a tight hug.

"Wow, I can't believe you actually got Marlene up this early," You said, opening another card they gave you.

"Well, it took a chicken drumstick," Dorcas replied.

"Otherwise, I would've been grouchy, and Y/n would have had a horrible birthday, so really I did it for her," Marlene said as Mary rolled her eyes.

"I wonder what the Marauders have planned, especially James," Lily muttered.

Every year for your birthday, James would give you a grand birthday party and tons of presents. He usually would sneak into your dorm room and surprise you with cannons and the other Marauders, but of course, this year was different.

And coincidentally, your birthday was the same day as the start of winter break, which always meant you had to pack on your birthday.

And every birthday, you had to go over to James's house for your birthday dinner with your families.

Which you were not looking forward to this year.

"Oh shit, sorry, Y/n, I know you don't want to speak about him," Lily apologized.

"It's alright; I'm sure I'll be reminded of him today many times," You replied, getting out of bed, "I can't believe I don't get to spend my birthday at Hogwarts," You said, grabbing clothes from your closet, setting them next to the trunk.

"It does suck, but you can at least be excited about your birthday dinner," Lily replied, closing her trunk.

"Hopefully, it goes well without James hinting to our parents that I hate him and don't want anything to do with him," You angrily said, shoving your clothes in your trunk.

"Do you really hate him, though?" Mary asked, "I mean, you were best friends with him all these years, and now, you utterly hate him,"

"That was before I realized he was cruel and truly considered me anything but something that he couldn't get rid of," You said, "But enough about James, are we still meeting together after Christmas?"

"Of course, your house, Y/n?" Dorcas asked.

You nodded, "But we can't steal my parent's booze again; I'm pretty sure the elves are scared of Marlene,"

"I didn't mean to scare them with my clown impression; it was just too good," Marlene smirked.

"Yeah yeah, for sure," You said, laughing before packing the rest of your clothes.

Suddenly, your parent's owl flew in from the window, delivering you a letter. You opened the envelope and straightened the folded-up letter, which stated:

Dear beloved Y/n,

Your father and I are experiencing a torturous delay from France; we have fought with the conductor multiple times and even considered apparating or the floo. Unfortunately, because of the horrible mangling rabbit, I TOLD your father not to eat, he has been throwing up all evening, and we can't apparate, and the nearest floo is eight hours away. You will stay with the Potters tonight and tomorrow night because too many wards might injure you in the house that the elves can't disable, but we hope to return before then. We want you to have the most incredible birthday and love you so much; we are incredibly sorry to miss it. Please forgive us.

Sincerely,

Your proud parents.

"What does the letter say?" Lily asked, glancing at you the folding her socks.

"My parents are stuck in a delay and can't make it to my birthday dinner in time, or even tomorrow," You shrugged.

"I am so sorry, Y/n," Lily said, embracing you.

You hugged her back. "It's okay; at least I have the Potters.

"Are you sure you will be okay?" Dorcas asked.

"Yeah, you can stay with me if you want," Mary offered.

"No, it's fine." You sighed, "They will be hurt if I skipped the opportunity to continue the tradition, and my mom would wring my head off if I didn't go," You joked.

"Okay, well, let us know," Lily smiled.

The whole part of you was sincerely upset; you didn't want your parents to not be there for your birthday. Even worse, you weren't on good terms with James, which only made for an awkward dinner with his family.

But you understood and knew your parents would make it up to you, and you know how guilty they felt; you just missed them.

You chose to keep your mind off it and keep packing until it was time to go to the train.

"When does this bloody train come?" Marlene shivered, "I'm fucking freezing,"

"I told you to bring your jumper," Mary sighed.

"I didn't think I really needed it," Marlene replied, gritting her teeth.

"I knew you would be cold," You said, giving her one of your extra jumpers.

"You know, Y/n, I'll kick Potter's bloody ass for you; just remember that," Marlene suggested, causing you to laugh.

"Speaking of the devil," Dorcas muttered under her breath.

You turned around to see James looking straight into your eyes. You had to admit that James had never been so intimidating. His eyes looked as if they had darkened, and he looked as if you were his Slytherin competitor in Quidditch.

"Are you ready?" He asked, his voice sounding deeper.

He didn't even say Happy Birthday.

"I'm gonna sit with them," You blankly stated, not an ounce of kindness in your voice.

"It's better if we sit together," James demanded, "Otherwise, we won't be able to find each other in the crowd when the train stops," He explained to you slowly as if you were a child, which only pissed you off.

"Are you fucking mishearing me, or are you just delusional?" You asked, "I said I'm gonna sit with my friends and not assholes. I don't even consider an acquaintance." You sneered, your voice sounding so harsh that it shocked your friends, "Please do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone."

"Are you really gonna be an uptight bitch?" James asked, a cocky smile on his face, "I mean, Jesus, I like it better when your mouth is shut or perhaps filled." Some of you knew that James was just being an asshole because he was hurt, which is what he always did, even when he was a kid, but the only thing about it was that he only did it to you.

That only angered you more before you slapped him for his rude comment, "Don't you fucking dare speak to me like that."

"Or what?" He stepped closer

"Okay, guys!" Lily stepped in, "We will approach you five minutes before the train stops, and you guys will walk together in peace, hopefully," Lily dragged you away as you glared at James.

"I can't believe you actually slapped him," Marlene said, following after you guys, "I mean, after what he said, I would've punched him so hard in the di-"

Mary cut her off, "Jokes aside, are you okay, Y/n? I mean, I have never seen James so mean and awful towards you or anyone for that matter,"

You sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine, I just don't get why he is so mean to me when he was the one who broke my trust in the first place,"

"What did he do?" Marlene asked.

The rest of the group looked at Marlene as if she had killed a unicorn. Nobody had really asked what James had done but considering your resentment towards him, it must’ve been unforgiving.

You hesitated, “He just didn’t say some nice things about me.” You answered, hoping to move on.

“Like what kind of things?” Marlene pried.

You could tell she was just curious, but you were so humiliated by what James had said that you didn’t even want to tell your closest friends.

Dorcas elbowed Marlene, causing her to hiss in pain before she said, “It isn’t our business if you don’t want to tell us, Y/n.”

“Yeah,” Lily agreed, “Maybe it’s better it is between you and James.”

The rest of the group agreed including Marlene who was hunched over in pain and verbally cursing Dorcas for the hard elbow.

You muttered a “thanks” before heading onto the train. You sat by the window, staring outside to the foggy mountains.

You didn’t want to admit it but you did miss James and how much he cared for your birthday. Sometimes it seemed like it was his birthday with how high he held your birthday.

You didn’t understand why he couldn’t just try to even figure out what he had done or fight for your forgiveness, he just chose to be angry at you.

You didn't even want to think about him. Why does your whole life revolve around him?

"Anything from the trolley dearies?" The Trolley Witch asked.

"Chocolate frogs," Marlene said.

"Jumbling Jellies," Lily answered.

"I'll take Fizzing Wheezies," You said, paying her 10 galleons for you all.

"Y/n, you don't ha-" Lily was about to say before Marlene shushed her.

Lily glared as Marlene spoke, "Bless your heart, Y/n," She smiled as you laughed.

As Marlene started devouring her chocolate frog, you couldn't help but remember how you and James would share Fizzing Wheezies every time on your birthday on the train.

Practically tradition.

You wondered if he thought the same. If he was relishing in the memories.

Your thinking was halted when Dorcas set a hand on your thigh as you smiled, laying your head on her shoulder. You closed your eyes, trying to prepare for the day ahead.

"Y/n," Someone lightly shook you by your shoulder as you looked to see Lily. She was waking all of the girls up as the train stopped.

You yawned, getting up to grab your luggage. James was right that there would be traffic, so you had to rush off, saying your goodbyes to your best friends.

"Promise to write?" Lily asked, looking near tears.

"Lils, it's only a week," You snorted as she gave you a stern look.

"A week I won't get to see you," She hugged you tighter as you smiled and returned it.

"See you before Christmas?" She asked.

You rubbed her shoulder, "See you before Christmas."

"Promise me you won't forgive Potter," Marlene sighed, causing you to laugh.

"Do you have no faith in her at all?" Mary asked next to Marlene.

"Do you have no faith in her at all?" Marlene mocked, causing Mary to glare.

"Okay, okay!" You laughed at the both of them, "Only if you promise you both will stop bickering," You hugged them both.

They glared at each other as Dorcas spoke, "Forgetting someone?"

You grinned, "Never," You hugged her, kissing her on the cheek.

You were waiting for her to say, "Give him hell?" You asked as she laughed.

"I think you know what to do," She encouraged before you exited, waving goodbye to all of them.

Even though it was only a week, you still hated being away from your best friends. They were like your third family besides your actual and the Potters.

You saw the back of Sirius's head as you approached him, considering he lived with the Potters.

He turned around before you could tap him, picking you up, "Happy birthday Y/n!" He said, kissing your cheek as you yelped.

"Okay, thank you, Sirius, put me down!" You giggled.

He put you down as you smoothed your clothing, "So where's Potter?' You asked.

He smirked, "Only last name? Ice cold Y/n." You didn't respond, so he assumed you were waiting for an answer, "He went to the toilets,"

You hummed, silently tapping your foot on the pavement, only hearing the ruckus around you both.

"Excited for your birthday dinner?" He asked, partly ready for the drama.

"Very," You sarcastically said.

"Hey, Mom and Dad aren't too bad," He said.

"We both know Euphemia and Fleamont aren't the Potters I despise," You muttered.

"Well, for your sake, I'll make him behave," He sent a charming smile your way.

"What would I do without you, Black?" You rolled your eyes.

"Probably be miserable," He answered, causing you to laugh.

"What are we laughing about?" James said, not even a smidge of excitement in his tone.

Your usual mad facade slipped back in as you grabbed your luggage and started heading toward the car. You could hear Sirius laughing behind you.

You saw Euphemia and Fleamont waiting by the car like they had usually done since Sixth year since James told them to stop coming inside because of his newfound "popularity."

Your face lit up immediately, excited to see two of your favorite people worldwide.

You embraced Euphemia, giving the tightest hug you could and giving Fleamont a kiss on the cheek while they asked about your studies. You could see James rolling his eyes both audibly and physically.

"Okay, Mother, I don't think Y/n likes all the questions," James said, leaning his head on the window while his father drove.

Sirius was in between the two of you, snoring asleep. Considering the train ride, you didn't even know why he was tired.

"I don't mind at all," You said, smiling as James glared at you.

You knew that Euphemia could feel the tension between you and James, but she ignored it, "So Y/n, I have made you something extraordinary." Euphemia said.

"And that is?" You asked, knowing she wouldn't tell you.

"I guess you will have to find out tonight during dinner." She sweetly said, winking at you.

You smiled to yourself, relieved your birthday wouldn't be that bad.

You entered the house that you had been over to so many times, admiring it fully.

"James will show you your room," Euphemia said, rubbing your back as you smiled, trying not to show your discomfort about James.

James didn't even wait for you before heading up the steps. Thankfully, he carried your luggage because he knew Euphemia would berate him.

"It's in there," He lazily said, not even opening the door before walking downstairs.

Jerk.

You grunted, lifting your heavy suitcase inside the room.

You admired the room, which looked like it was made for you. It was warm and tremendous for a guest room. It had all of your favorite colors and smells.

It was perfect.

You decided to nap before dinner, considering you had no one to talk to, and you were partly tired after the drive anyway. You knew an elf would get you when it was time.

"Ms." A frail voice said as your eyes fluttered open to see Dot, the Potter's elf that had been there since you had first moved in.

"Oh, hello, Dot," You spoke lightly, yawning.

"Ms. Potter tells Dot to inform you it's time for dinner," Her small voice said.

"Thank you, Dot, I appreciate it," You thanked before the elf nodded her head and apparated out.

You stretched, wearing a semi-formal dress, one of your favorites.

You headed down the stairs as you smelt the food radiating from the dining room. It was all of your favorites; it was pretty extraordinary. Ms. Potter was always the type to blow you off of your feet, regardless.

Your face lit up, "This is stunning, Ms. Potter," You looked at the glowing lights.

Euphemia smiled, "I'm glad you love it,"

You sat next to James with Sirius next to him. His face had certainly softened, but he was clenching his jaw when you sat beside him.

"Now," Euphemia started, "I know we usually do gifts after dinner, but we all had such beautiful surprises for you that we couldn't wait."

Euphemia started first, giving you one of your favorite movies since you were a kid, except the movie wasn't available anywhere.

You rose excitedly, embracing her, "How did you get this?" You asked, smiling at the CDs.

"A friend of mine is good friends with the director, and he happened to have one last copy," She answered as you excitingly hugged her before returning to your seat.

"Thank you, Ms. Potter," You looked at Euphemia, "I love it,"

She nodded before Fleamont gave you his gift. It was a beautiful crystal from Bejing.

You thanked him for the beautiful gem before Sirius offered you his gift. He gave you a perfume that smelled of fire whisky but wasn't actually fire whisky.

Part of you wanted to know how he did it, but you decided to save it for later as you thanked him, kissing him on the cheek as he cheered.

Last was James, who picked up the gift from under the table. He had looked you in the eyes, not a set of resentment in them at all.

Your breath hitched as he gave you a stuffed animal your grandfather gave you when you were nine. You had cried for a week because you had lost it and teared up when anyone mentioned it.

He gave it to you as it looked brand new and was cleaner than when you had it when you were nine.

When you pressed on the heart, it always said "I love you" in your grandfather's voice and even had your name on the collar.

You teared up, "How did you find it?"

He stuttered, "I-I found it in the treehouse in the corner,"

"I thought the treehouse was infested with Clockonuts," You said.

He laughed, "Well, I risked my life to get it back,"

Every sense of anger you had felt had disappeared; he had done something that was so out of his actions lately that it made you miss him.

"Thank you," You genuinely said.

He gave you a simple nod before you began eating. Conversations started after, talking about school.

"So, any boys, Y/n?" Euphemia asked as James dropped his fork on his plate, making a huge sound that caused you to look at him.

You cleared your throat, "Well, I am trying not to focus on that right now,"

"Except for Carrows," James muttered.

"Who's Carrows?" Euphemia asked, genuinely curious.

You took a bite of your carrot, "Um, well," You swallowed, "He's just a friend I have."

"I don't sit on my friend's laps," James scoffed, causing you to glare at him.

"Well, I don't call my friends sluts," You spat.

"James Fleamont Potter, what did you call her?" Euphemia added.

James ignored her, "Well, when your best friend is acting like one just because you don't fancy her, I think she deserves it,"

Mate-" Sirius chimed in, but you were faster.

"When have I ever fancied you?" You asked, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of that knowledge.

"Y/n, you were practically obsessed with me," He ridiculed, "I couldn't get away from you, and the only time I could was when I dated Lily; it was the best months of my life," His face looked shocked after he said the last words.

You couldn't tell if he meant it, but it hurt you badly. All those years of friendship were fake; he couldn't tolerate you.

"That's enough!" Euphemia said; even Sirius was silent.

A tear ran down your cheek, "I'm actually not feeling well; I'm gonna go to bed." You said, placing your napkin on the plate in front of you.

You heard Euphemia berating James as you ran up to your room. In some ways, you didn't understand why James did everything he did if he hated you so much.

Why did he give you that gift? Why did he always call you and get mad when you didn't want to be his friend? Did you ever mean anything to James Potter?

And if you did, why did he have to ruin your birthday?

A/N: If you hated this, I apologize.

taglist: @feast0nmeee @queerqueenlynn @diasnohibng @somebodys-enola @kiwichixta @queerpanickingrn @strnqer @virgogaia @ddddawson @lxriearxella @losa12308 @soosheee @lokifriggason1 @kenqki @volturissideslut @lmfaograyc @melllinaa @iluvfetuszarry @lovelywebber @violetbossler @moonys0chocolate @ourloveisforthelovely @stormymind14 @abq654 @cr1stinx @4-everm-0-re @icantwaittoliveandlearn @aceofheartzzz @ashkuuuu @i-dont-know-me-either @slayingqueenchal @hero-ically @mikeikax @extrainsanity @roryctrlshift @helloitsmeeeeeee @@dittos-blog-dylanobrien @drstargirl @17luvr @eviesmith1810 @fluffycookies22 @valencia-rou @watersquirtpewpewboomm @kentucky-criedfricken @lokisbitch13 @evangelinejxy @youroutdoorbf @ok-boke @madison-rebel @sunshineangel-reads @feast0nmeee @rey26 @prongsprincessworld@coolerthananicecubeeee @taintedxkisses

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jinnie-ret · 11 months ago

Text

THE TUTOR

poly!stray kids x reader

genre: fluff, angst

content warnings: toxic relationship (not with SKZ)

word count: 5.4k

summary: becoming lee felix's tutor was quite possibly the best decision she could have made. toxic exes, university assignments and a whole lot of confusing feelings, how does skz fit into this equation?

collab w/ @astraykidforsure

I've absolutely loved working on this with my gorgeous talented pookie! I think it's my fav fic written ever so to have collabed on this was so fun to share our ideas together and give you this!!!

Here is our other fic here which you can find on her page! It's the cutest fluffiest Christmas fic ever so I hope you enjoy :)))

MAIN MASTERLIST

Handing in the penultimate assignment of the year, Y/N couldn't hide her sigh of relief when she gave her paper to her professor. She had given everything to this piece of work, sleepless nights, even forgetting to eat sometimes too, as she was so caught up in her studies. It happened that just as she was handing in this assignment, she was given her results of the previous one she had done. Feeling as if it had been ages ago since she had completed it, Y/N was pleasantly surprised to see the number on the document her professor handed to her.

"85, that's another 'first', top grades as always, Miss Park," Mr Jung, Y/N's English Literature professor grinned at her proudly as he handed her paper back to her.

"Thanks Mr Jung!" Y/N grinned happily, always one to be energetic and bubbly no matter what kind of hurdle was in her way.

"Now, I look forward to reading this one here... but I have one request," Mr Jung pushed up his glasses as he gently placed down her recently finished assignment onto his stack of others he would be due to read.

"Oh, what is it?" Y/N pursed her lips curiously, hands behind her back as she wondered what Mr Jung was about to tell her. She was very much so looking forwards to a small break so hopefully whatever he said next wouldn't be something that would consume a lot of her time.

"One of the students in our class, Lee Felix, I assume you know him? He's falling behind, and I thought you'd be the perfect student to help him. So what do you say?" Mr Jung proposed the idea to Y/N of becoming Felix's tutor.

This wasn't exactly what she expected. Lee Felix? Everyone on campus knew him and the friend group he was a part of. You couldn't not know him. He stuck out especially to Y/N, not just because of the fact he was on the same course as her, but because of his sweet personality and how nicely he treated everyone around him. She aimed to be like him.

What Y/N didn't already realise, was that she was a similar kind of person, and people recognised her kindness. Although she mainly kept to herself, always had her nose in a book or her head in the clouds, she greeted everyone kindly. And for that, she was already loved so much.

It couldn't hurt to help out, could it? Sure, she wanted a break, but this should be things she already knew. And it wasn't like she would be forced to spend her time with anyone horrible. The only thing remotely intimidating was the fact that she'd be presumably meeting one of the most popular friend groups on campus.

But, perhaps it would be nice to properly talk to them, instead of just greeting them like her friendly self normally did.

"- Miss Park?" Mr Jung was still staring at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Sure, I'll do it," Y/N grinned, adjusting her bag on her shoulders before waving her professor goodbye.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was 4:30pm. Right on the dot.

Y/N had arrived perfectly on time, oddly nervous for her first tutor session with Felix. Maybe it was because she hadn't spoken to him properly, apart from the emails back and forth on when to arrange a mutually good time to meet. And that took a while in itself, because Felix didn't seem to check his emails a lot. It would be much easier once she had his phone number to text, and it seemed much less formal too.

Not only that, but it would be nice to see a different name pop up on her screen other than her persistent ex, Johnny, who couldn't seem to forget about her.

Knock, knock, knock.

Y/N stood awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other before the door opened.

"Y/N right? Come in, come in, sorry about the mess!" Felix cheerfully greeted her with a pre warning of the state of his dorm, which she quickly realised he shared with all of the other guys.

Was it messy? Yes, but the typical mess you'd expect for a boys' dorm. It was homely though. Domestic.

On a coffee table, there was a computer science textbook lying open beside a laptop covered in cat stickers, neatly kept to one side, almost to avoid the art materials spread precariously across the furniture. There was barely any room for the puppy patterned mug of coffee to sit, most likely brewed from the expensive coffee machine in the kitchen, Y/N had noticed. The TV screen was on, showing the title screen of a game she didn't quite recognise, she wasn't much of a gamer herself. As she glanced to where she could take off her coat in the lobby area, there was a gym bag, a backpack with headphones peeking out of the top, and some keys scattered to the side, charmingly accompanied by a koala keyring and a kangaroo one too.

"Don't worry about the mess, it's homely," Y/N shrugged, taking her coat off and feeling a bit surprised when Felix wordlessly took it out of her hands and hung it up for her.

"That's the excuse Hannie always uses..." Felix chuckles, before his eyes widen, "oh yeah! My boyf- roommates are all home right now around here somewhere, so don't be shocked if you see one of them walking about. We can study in my room if you want? It'll be much quieter," he stumbled on his words.

"Sure, whatever is more comfier for you, Felix," Y/N grinned as he nodded once more and they set up things in his room at his desk. Felix brought out his laptop to takes notes as Y/N brought out her notebook. Clearly they had different ways of studying, but that didn't seem to deter her, things like that didn't mean much when she was here to help.

"So, how much have you gotten done so far?" Y/N popped the lid off of her pen, both of them giggling as it flew onto the floor somewhere.

"Don't hate me if I say none of it?" Felix replied sheepishly as he crouched down to retrieve the piece of stationary and sat back down in his seat.

"I can't hate you, silly! I've only just met you!" Y/N shook her head with a gummy smile, not knowing she was melting Felix's heart as she did so.

And so, they began, Y/N guiding Felix to the best references and praising him for his ideas that he thought of for the assignment. She made sure she steered him in the right direction and he seemed to be on the right path already.

Knock, knock.

The door opened to reveal two handsome men, both with sharp features, one with longer black hair and the other with a bold purple style.

"Here, have some brain power," the guy with purple hair put the plate down in front of the two, Y/N already smiling at the colourful fruit presented in front of them.

"That's Minho by the way, and that's Hyunjin," Felix pointed out to Y/N, before munching on a piece of honeydew melon. She waved at them with an enthusiastic 'hi' as they made themselves at home in Felix's room.

Hyunjin stretched across the bed as Minho perched against the desk on Felix's side.

"I think I'll be eating most of this then if it's for brain power," Felix grabbed a few more pieces of fruit, shoving it into his mouth contentedly at the sweet taste.

"You better save some of it for Y/N! She's the guest! Plus, I had to spend time with Minho in the kitchen, with a knife... My life was on the line for these snacks!" Hyunjin professed dramatically, sat up on the bed now as he moved his hands around whilst explaining.

Y/N couldn't help but giggle along with Felix, Hyunjin noticing this as he smiled at how comfortable she was around them already.

"Just wait, you'll have to stay for dinner one time, and then you'll see!" Hyunjin widened his eyes comically, as Y/N nodded along in agreement.

"You like to cook, Y/N?" Minho asked curiously, showing interest in the girl who came round to tutor his boyfriend.

"I'm not the best at cooking actually... Most times I just eat ramen for dinner or order fried chicken," she pinched her lip habitually and covered her awkward grin, yet everyone else could still see it from the way her eyes crinkled.

"Ah! That's not good, I'll have to feed you, make sure you get something nutritional in that belly," Minho patted her head as he tutted.

"That's our Minho, he always cooks for us, he's such a doting boyfriend-" Felix nuzzled his head against Minho's stomach before freezing in place. He may have hidden their secret before but this time he couldn't help himself.

"Y/N, look, we-" Hyunjin stumbled over his words as he stood up now, next to Felix and Minho as he took in the girl's shocked expression.

"It's ok, it's ok, I won't judge," she quickly held her hands up to try and calm them.

"It's easier said then done, not exactly conventional having 8 guys date each other," Minho sighed, stroking Felix's hair soothingly to show he didn't blame the younger.

"Please don't tell anyone," Felix couldn't even look her in the eyes. He felt like he had already blown his chances of getting good grades. Like, what a bombshell to drop on your tutor. Oh yeah, by the way, I have 8, boyfriends but keep it a secret, please.

"Guys, please, it's ok, really. I wouldn't dare tell anyone. That's not my information to share, I'd rather you act natural around me then hide that side to yourselves, ok?" Y/N spoke carefully, taking in all of their expressions to make sure her message was heard.

"You've got a good tutor here, Lixie," Hyunjin sighs in relief, a small smile painting his face.

"I do," he nodded in agreement, relieved that she was someone he could not only learn from, but trust too.

Y/N would come to see a lot of sweet interactions between the boys, and also get to know them a lot more too. This was only the start.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Over the next few weeks, Y/N had really gotten to know the other guys quite well, and when she had reassured the rest of them in person that their secret was safe with her, the arms she was welcomed with were open even more.

"Hi love, come in!" Chan softly smiled at her as she entered the dorms, her books already clutched in her arms.

"You're in a cheery mood today, Channie, get some sleep for once?" Y/N laughed and teased the older boy, looking away mischievously when he pulled a face that said 'why did I let her and Seungmin interact?'.

"Go on go, go find Felix and help him study," he fake sighed and shooed her away, pushing her in the direction of Felix's room with a laugh, but wincing when her phone hit the floor. "Oh sorry!" he was quick to pick it up, the phone lighting up with yet another text message, making him frown.

"Oh it's fine, don't worry," Y/N went to grab it back quickly and hesitantly, Chan let her.

"Who's Johnny?" he chewed his lip as he asked the question.

"He's no one," Y/N shrugged him off, making sure she had all her books ready and was about to enter Felix's room, hand reaching for the handle when Chan realised he couldn't let this go so soon.

The rest of the boys and himself had grown to like Y/N a lot in such a short space of time. Her caring nature had stolen a piece of each of their hearts and they found themselves exuding that same care towards her.

"Love, it doesn't look like nothing, that was a whole lot of texts," Chan warily rested a hand on her shoulder.

Y/N sighed before moving over to their sofa, Chan following right behind her.

"It's really nothing... I'm used to it," she shrugged, biting on the inside of her cheek.

"So if it's nothing why are we taking a seat to talk about this, hmm?" Chan calmly spoke to her, lightly pinching her cheek to get her to stop.

"I don't know if I'm overreacting or not... sometimes I think I am but other times, here just look," Y/N shakily hands over her phone to Chan, and he grasped her hand in his as he read the more recent ones that appeared in her notifications.

"These messages are horrible, Y/N, why don't you just block him?" Chan was horrified at the threatening messages he read, nostrils flaring more and more at each word that his eyes scanned.

"He always finds a way to message me from a new number... See?" Y/N reluctantly released her hand from Chan's as she unlocked her phone and showed her messages, previous conversations all with the same tone to them, but from different numbers. "You can always tell it's him messaging because he always leaves a space between the full stop and the word. And then he doesn't use slang in his texts apart from 'ur'," she further explains to Chan, who was in disbelief at how she spoke so causally of what was happening to her. Yet, he could tell there were some feelings she was internalising too.

"You're too smart for your own good, love," Chan rubbed her shoulder, proud of her analysing skills that she recognised it was her ex. "You really don't deserve this," he murmured, leaning his head on top of hers.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was nice, to feel that love and appreciation again, without having any labels attached. But then it had Y/N thinking, what really was this thing between her and the boys?

"Aren't you going to take a break too, Y/Nnie? Felix has been playing this game for at least twenty minutes now!" Changbin leant his head back on the sofa arm as he watched the girl diligently flicking through her notes whilst Felix went to take a 'short' break and play on his PC.

"Ah, it's fine haha, I want to make sure I've got some stuff ready for when Felix is done," Y/N brushed off Changbin's concerns and pushed back a stray piece of hair as she read through the notes she had made during the afternoon.

"Nope, no, not having it, I'll get Seungmin to make you some of his fresh coffee and then you will sit here, right next to me," Changbin sat up, patting a space on the sofa next to him, "and drink it."

"But Changbin-" Y/N sighed, covering her face and leaning back into the chair at the table, already hearing the whirring of the coffee machine in the kitchen, meaning Seungmin was around and overheard the small harmless bickering.

"Nope, now come, sit here," Changbin didn't budge, from not just his seat but his efforts to getting Y/N to take a break too.

She groaned as she complied and sat next to the muscly guy, who hummed in content when he felt the dip of the sofa next to him.

Seungmin entered the lounge, bringing over a mug of coffee for Y/N, dainty sunflowers painted all over it.

"Wow this mug is so cute!" Y/N grinned as she held it up slightly to admire it.

"Good. It's your mug," Seungmin nodded as he sat at the end of the sofa, a mug of coffee made for himself as he placed it done on the table.

"My mug? I don't even live here, Seungmin," Y/N tried to laugh it off, but she couldn't help but feel butterflies at the warmth she received from these guys. The way that they always made sure she felt at home in their home.

"You might as well, haha, with the amount of times Felix invites you over to study when half the time he's all distracted," Seungmin pushed up his glasses, turning to look at Y/N.

"Well I thought that's why he wanted me over more... Because we didn't get enough done in the first place?" Y/N pursed her lips in thought, before blowing on the coffee to try and cool it down even though it had been freshly brewed and was still very hot.

"Interesting take... I'm with Seungmin on this one though," Changbin raised an eyebrow at Y/N's reasoning before cooing at Seungmin, reaching over to pat him on the knee.

"Ew, hyung," Seungmin wrinkled his nose, bringing his legs further up on the sofa and curling up.

"Hey! Don't reject me in front of Y/N... i-it's embarrassing! I'm a desirable man!" Changbin complained loudly, throwing his arms up in the air before folding them and sinking into the sofa.

Y/N couldn't help but agree, nodding to herself as she bit her lip. Changbin was a handsome man. All of them were. They were all lucky to have each other, not only for their looks but their personalities too.

"I saw that look, you're not so sly, sunflower," Seungmin whispered in Y/N's ear as he patted her head before wrapping his arms around Changbin to quieten the pouting man, cheekily biting his neck in the process.

"Yah! Kim Seungmin!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A rough day was rare for Y/N, for she always strived to push any stress away and focus on what she was meant to be doing. But with another influx of texts from Johnny, he wasn't making her day so easy. Even more so because he was waiting outside of her class.

"Never answer my texts huh? I just want you to talk to me, that's all I want!" Johnny grabbed Y/N's wrist and took her to the side of the empty hallway.

Not only was the poor girl shocked at him grabbing her harshly, she also wondered how he knew where her class was, they didn't even take the same course, let alone similar ones for him to be in the same building as her.

"You don't deserve that, Johnny, not after what you put me through," Y/N pulled her arm away from him and redirected herself outside, hoping that was all this confrontation would be.

Oh how wrong she was. Walking outside where there was more students around should have made Y/N feel safer, even with Johnny on her tail, but with the gossipy nature of the university, it made things worse.

"Don't you want me?" Johnny growled, his voice too loud for her liking as people around her pulled out their phones and started filming as he grabbed her wrist tightly once again.

"No! I don't! I hate you!" Y/N said through gritted teeth, trying to regain ownership of her own limb.

This seemed to frustrate Johnny even further, his intentions becoming more and more clear.

He spat at her, right in her face.

"People like you don't deserve to even be with me, I'm doing you a favour!" he tried to pull her along with him.

Y/N felt helpless. Why wasn't anyone helping her? They were too busy hiding behind their phone screens.

"No, I'm doing myself a favour and getting away from you!" Y/N took matters into her own hands and despite the fast beat of her heart she stomped on his foot and stormed away quickly, wiping her tears as she did so.

It wasn't long until the video started floating around other students. Chan and Changbin, who were in one of the studios courtesy of the uni's musical facilities, received a text from Minho.

Minho: pls tell me this isn't y/n...

[vid.attchmnt]

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Is that my favourite person in the world?!" Han hugged Y/N as soon as she walked through the door.

Han had admired Y/N as soon as he met her, always wanting to cuddle her because he thought she was so sweet and 'too pure for this world'.

And oh, did Y/N need that hug, especially after the day she had.

"Hey, she was mine first!" Felix wrapped her up into a big hug of his own as he pushed Han away, not too hard though.

Mine?

That would be a thought for another time...

Pushing the boys away and letting them bicker playfully between themselves, she sat down next to Jeongin on the sofa, who was absorbed in whatever video game it was that he was playing. She often had comfortable silences when she was in the space of the younger. But she likes that. They could appreciate each other's presences without needing to say much. Without needing to say anything.

Y/N sighed and rubbed her head as she read through her notes once more, wondering what part of the words that were jumbling right in front of her very eyes, would be more useful to Felix today.

"You should play one day," Jeongin spoke up quietly, as to not disturb her focus and for him to maintain his own as he fiddled with the joysticks.

"Ah I don't know a lot about gaming, plus staring at the screen would give me an even worse headache right now I think," Y/N sank deeper into the sofa in defeat, rubbing her eyes as she tossed her notes aside.

"Let me get you some painkillers," Jeongin immediately paused his game, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"No it's fine-" Y/N tried to stop him.

"You take them with water?" Jeongin ignored her attempts as he called out from the other room.

"Yes," Y/N replied quietly but he still seemed to have heard her.

Jeongin returned into the lounge with two painkillers and a some water in a glass prettily painted with sunflowers on it. It wouldn't be hard to guess who bought her that.

"Cute glass," Y/N fondly smiled, as she sipped the water slowly and swallowed the painkillers.

Jeongin loved how she was still able to smile despite the pain she was in. He admired her for that.

"A certain puppy picked that one out, convinced Minho and Jinnie that it was necessary," Jeongin nodded at her, taking his seat but not returning to his game straight away.

"Well I love it, I'll tell him thank you later if I see him," Y/N placed down the glass and instead of relaxing into the sofa once more, she found herself in a pair of arms instead.

"I'm sure you will," Han gently hugged her gently this time, noticing her demeanour was quieter than usual and that she had taken some tablets.

"You sure you want to study today, Y/N?" Felix rubbed her knee soothingly, not wanting to pressure her.

"Yeah, I'm sure, maybe we can take it slow today?" Y/N makes a compromise, not wanting to let down the sunshine on front of her.

"Of course, of course, love, that sounds like a better idea, just tell me if you want to take a break, yeah? Don't want you to be feeling in pain just because you're trying to help me," Felix kisses the top of her head, making her blush.

What was going on with her heart? Maybe she was just still feeling shaken up from earlier on.

"Y/N, why didn't you tell us something happened between you and Johnny?" Han suddenly tensed up, and Y/N could feel it. She didn't dare look at the video Han was playing on his phone.

In that moment, Seungmin and Hyunjin entered the dorm, frowns on their faces.

"Ah Seungmin! There you are, thanks for getting me this glass, you really didn't have to," Y/N tried to change the subject, hoping their frowns would disappear but it didn't work.

"Nope, don't do that sunflower," Seungmin shook his head, taking off his shoes and putting his slippers on.

"Angel, why didn't you say anything, hmm?" Hyunjin walked over in front of the sofa, hands on his hips.

"No wonder you weren't feeling great," Jeongin's eyes widened in realisation after watching the video over Han's shoulder, handing Y/N the glass of water once more to encourage her to take some sips.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Y/N didn't even believe herself as she spoke.

"Y/Nnie, there's a video going around of you and Johnny in the square at uni," Hyunjin crouched down in front of her.

"Wait? I haven't seen that video, I've only seen the one of hyungs cornering him," Seungmin spoke up, sharing a confused look at Hyunjin. He was sure they had been speaking about the same thing earlier, yet with both of the information they had seen from different videos, they must have been able to fill in the gaps.

"W-wait they what?" Y/N stuttered as she looked back and forth between the boys.

In that moment, Seungmin held up a video playing on his phone, showing the three eldest of the group cornering Johnny against a wall, holding him by the collar of his shirt as they shouted at him.

Y/N couldn't believe her eyes.

"It's ok," Felix's deep voice soothed her as he wrapped an arm around her and hugged her closer to his chest.

"Let's just have a relaxing evening yeah? Take your mind off of it," Seungmin instructed, tucking Y/N's notes away into her bag.

"Felix is that ok with-"

"Don't even worry love, it's fine," Felix rubbed her shoulder once more, Han holding her hand as he leant his head on her shoulder.

They all began to relax, watching a Disney film. Y/N cuddled up between the September twins, and Jeongin reluctantly allowing his overly affectionate hyungs, Seungmin and Hyunjin, to coddle and cuddle him.

Around halfway through the film, the front door unlocked and 3 sets of footsteps marched inside.

"Is she here? Is she ok?!"

"I swear she was meant to have a tutor session with Lixie today but they're not in his room..."

"Wait, her shoes are here."

Chan, Minho and Changbin all sighed in relief, almost synchronised, as they saw the object of their concern cuddled up to their other boyfriends.

"Y/Nnie, love, come here a sec," Chan whispered into her ear, gesturing her to come to the side to talk to all 3 of them.

She felt nervous just standing there as their eyes scanned her to make sure she was physically ok.

"Guys, you didn't have to do that..." Y/N shook her head, hands retreating into the sleeves of a jumper Han let her borrow because he insisted a cosy jumper is a cosy heart and it would make her feel better.

He wasn't wrong.

"Oh but we did, it wasn't right what he did to you Y/N, and I don't know what he's done to you in the past but..." Changbin trailed off, fists clenched at the thought of Johnny.

"He'll never hurt you again, ok?" Minho promised, hand caressing her cheek gently.

"And if he does anything again tell one of us right away, we got you," Chan rubbed her shoulder, a pout on his face reflecting Y/N's as her eyes welled up with tears.

"Thanks guys," Y/N sniffled, hugging each of them.

Hyunjin, who was snooping on the conversation with eager ears, called out across to them, "yah! Don't make Angel cry, we just calmed her down!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Y/N was confused. She wasn't as sure anymore, or, at least not as much as before, that is. Sure, she knew about their relationship, of course. Though she wasn't apart of it. They seemed to act so nice and loving towards her. Always helping her out, Felix giving her extra attention and affection when he thought she needed it. The boys always bring her food whenever they got food themselves. They'd ruffle her hair and give her soft smiles. Back hugs and forehead kisses. It's so much more than that. They just treat her so well. She's supposed to keep their secret, but, then again, she's not dating any of them.

Despite everything, does that mean they're messing with her? Are they doing this to mess with her feelings? She sure hoped that wasn't the case. She's been having so much doubt lately with this situation she seemed to have gotten herself stuck in. But, she didn't want to be seen as if she was trying to interrupt or ruin their relationship by confessing. Seriously, one girl and eight guys? She wasn't so sure that it was realistic, whether she wanted it to be or not.

She just wanted this guilt that she constantly felt to go away. She didn't want to stress over this anymore or worry. She hated these nerves that she constantly felt, continuously. She wanted this to be over, even if she never ended up dating them.

Knock, knock, knock.

"We've missed you," Jeongin was shocked to see her as he opened the front door, blurting out the first words that came to mind as he welcomed her inside.

It had been 5 days since they saw her. But it was 5 days too long.

Y/N stood at the edge of the lounge not knowing what to say as the boys all turned and gasped as they saw her.

"What's been going on, Y/Nnie?" Han slowly asked.

"Talk to us love..." Felix begged, he just wanted to know why she created some distance between them all.

"Don't call me that when you don't mean... When you don't want..." Y/N ran a stressed hand through her hair, not knowing how to articulate herself because her emotions were all over the place.

"Come sit down ang-, Y/N, it's ok, talk to us," Hyunjin went to call jer ny his usual nickname, but sensing her discomfort, he chose not to this time. And it felt weird.

"I'm so confused right now..." Y/N began, perching on the edge of the armchair where Changbin was sat.

"You asked me to keep your relationship secret and of course I'd never tell anyone but, I feel like, gosh no I can't say it it'll sound so stupid," Y/N scolded herself, Chan patting her back lightly as he stood next to her.

"Nothing you say is stupid, you're very clever, sunflower," Seungmin shook his head, not liking the sight of the girl he was so fond of, looking so distressed.

"What am I to you guys? L-like am I just Felix's tutor to you, or just even a friend or-"

"You're much more to us then those things, and I know you know that by now," Minho leant forward in his seat on the sofa.

"We like you, a lot, Y/N," Felix said with his hand on his chest.

"W-why couldn't you just tell me that? I-i've been going out of my mind," Y/N ducked her head down, covering her face with her hands.

"We didn't want to pressure you after that situation with your ex..." Changbin grasped her hand from next to her.

"Oh, sorry, yeah I get that..." Y/N sighed.

"Come on, where's that smile gone?" Hyunjin cooed, tickling her sides and successfully making her laugh.

"We really like you Y/N, and we were hoping you'd want to be a part of our relationship too," Chan crouched down in front of her.

"You sure?" Y/N was wary. This wasn't a trick right?

"Never been more sure of anything in our lives," he was quick to squash her worries, kissing her on the cheek.

"Then, yes, I'd love to be with you all," Y/N grinned that gorgeous smile that they loved so much.

It was the best decision she could have made agreeing to be Felix's tutor. It brought so many people into her life that she already held dearly to her heart, people she knew she'd come to love even more in her life. The little things they did for her with more care than anyone else had ever paid her attention to. They gave her the love she deserved, the love that she'd never lose.

taglist: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami

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thinkingotherwise · 4 months ago

Text

Kuro Tetsuro, his s/o, and their first kiss

My man <3 I had to write for him, just had to make him the first character from Haikyuu I post for.

Other captains

Kuro was an interesting person, to say the least. Additionally, or maybe, because of that, he attracted just as unique people, keeping them as his friends. You, being one of them.

You met Kuro during your junior high school days, and the moment he got to know your home was near his and Kenma's he decided to befriend you. Of course, being his friend you couldn't escape his favourite sport.

There were tens, if not hundreds, of times when he made you go with him and play volleyball, even if you weren't really interested in it. Other times you would either watch as Kenma had to join him instead of you, or the three of you played together.

You actually enjoyed watching them play rather than stumble trying to hit the ball yourself. There was just something in the way he enjoyed the sport. His grins and excited eyes every time he did exceptionally well during his matches. Even his prideful and cocky personality seemed to enchant you. It was just him and him alone that had that effect on you.

You liked Testuro, liked his every side, no matter how irritable he could be sometimes. If you had to pick one you loved the most, it would be his nerdy side, because of his passion for volleyball, which made him simply cool, and his knowledge about chemistry, which seemed to even his cool personality, as if he couldn't be too cool. And as it wasn't all because of his big brain and surprisingly great grades in the subject, it was his puns. His usually cringy and eye-rolling puns.

Sometimes you wondered if the puns came from his friendship with Bokuto, as the owl captain seemed like a person who liked to joke, but it may as well be Fukunaga, who although was silent, his interest in jokes was well known.

You used his talent for chemistry, with his approval, or more like with him telling you to. Testuro proposed to help you out when he noticed the poor score on one of your tests. It first had him laughing his hyena laugh before he turned to you and told you.

"You're a lost cause. Thankfully, I'm kind enough to become your tutor."

So you did use him, as he wanted, participating in the little tutoring sessions between you two. Did they work? Maybe.. Hard to tell, as he tried his best to explain the stuff to you, and your grades were better but...

"Is it any good?" You asked hopefully after finishing some exercises from the workbook. You pushed it to your left and toward him on the table and he grabbed it.

You put my pencil in your mouth biting on it as you saw his face twisted and eyes narrowed in focus. His pencil tapped on the workbook before he looked up and turned to you.

"Nah, not really, here I'll explain it again." Tetsuro said moving the book back in front of you as he started explaining the theory and exercise to you.

Even when you sometimes didn't get it at first and he had to talk you through the topic again.

You really appreciated him for that and it made you happy that he would spend some of the free time, he could spend playing volleyball, to help you.

"Hey, no worries. Just be like a proton." He said in the middle of his explanation and at the exact moment you started feeling like you didn't get anything once again.

'Oh no..' You thought knowing pretty well what was coming. Still, you couldn't help a small "What?" leaving your mouth.

You slowly turned to look at him with his stupid grin on his face.

"Stay positive." He giggled right after the line and you felt something in you break.

Unfortunately, although he was smart and very knowledgeable, he was still your idiotic Tetsuro. And it meant situations like that were happening regularly...

"Ugh.." A groan left you as your hand moved to your temple and massaged it slowly.

"I got more." His enthusiastic voice called and before you could say anything he continued. "What do you call an acid with an attitude?"

Your silence didn't stop him. On the contrary, it fueled his need for your approval.

"A-mean-o Acid."

"Tetsu." You said slowly.

Your gaze moved to him to see his proud face looking at you with that smile. It seemed like your look was too little to dishearten him. Testuro moved closer to you placing his hand on the table and leaning his head on it.

"What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety." He answered to his own joke lazily, all while his eyes were stuck on you.

"Tetsuro please." Your begging voice echoed in the room making him chuckle.

And sometimes when he started he didn't know when to finish. The puns seemed neverending, you wondered where he got them from.

He sat up momentarily and leaned even closer to you.

"Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you?"

You felt your fist tightening as irritation started to gather inside you.

"Because I see no reaction."

'Please someone stop this.' You prayed in your mind.

You turned to your workbook and placed a pencil on the exercise you had to correct.

"Can we go back to the-" You were cut off by his quick mouth.

"I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U."

That was it, you've had it with him. You looked at him determined smacking the pencil down on the table.

His grin grew as he thought you finally liked his little pun.

"How did you-"

It was your turn to cut him off as you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer. Your mouth smashed against his keeping him silent.

Testuro was shocked at your move but soon smiled into the kiss and pushed his lips against yours. His hand moved to your face as his forefinger curled under your chin.

The moment you pulled away and your eyes opened you noticed the awed gaze in his. He breathed deeply and for a moment it was silent. Finally, he was silent, with no more chemistry puns. Just him looking at you, at your flustered face but unwavering gaze.

Unfortunately, the silence was quickly gone as Tetsuro broke it with his curious voice.

"Oya? What was that for? Not that I mind."

You held his gaze.

"To shut you up. Seriously, how many chemistry jokes do you know?" You answered.

"You want to check?"

Your eyes widened not believing he had more of them. This man had to search the internet to get to know so many of them. (I know I did)

"Do you want me to make you my bromine and oxygen?" He asked and resigned you waited for him to finish.

He smirked tapping the periodic table that was placed next to your workbook. You sighed your gaze searching for the two chemical elements.

"BrO?" You asked confused.

"Of course, I'd prefer something different." Testuro flirted with you his finger moving to your forearm and running along it.

"Then shush and help me understand this." You smacked his hand away.

Your hand moved back to the pencil you left on the table and you picked it pointing it at him.

"If I pass my exam then we can go on a date." You declared and he straightened in his seat.

"Oya? Oya?" Your words certainly got his attention.

"Focus! And no more fun facts till we finish."

The smile fell off his face.

"But I think these jokes are sodium funny."

"Tetsu, stop."

Nevertheless, you loved him, his passionate, charming, heck even his nerdy side.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyu #haikyu x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuro tetsuro x reader

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valiantstarlights · 2 months ago

Text

Which Hob Gadling Are You? Quiz

Instructions: Get a pen and paper (or open your notes app) to keep track of your answers and scores. Select one response and add +1 to your tally. At the end, the letter with the most number of tally marks is your result. There are 8 possible results, as there are 8 versions of Hob. Enjoy! 😊✨

1.) How well do you flirt?

Not sure. There's no one to flirt with. (A)

Fucking terrible. (G)

Not trying, not interested. (E)

Somewhat of a disaster, but I'd like to think there's hope for me. (B)

Not sure. I think I'm decent at it, but... (C)

I'm often not sure if I'm being flirted with, but if the person is my type, then I'll do my best to flirt back! (H)

I know what I'm doing, and hopefully it's my date tonight. ;) (F)

Honestly? I'm at a point in my life where I don't care if I'm good at flirting or not. (D)

2.) How much do you wanna fuck/get fucked by your date?

0% - Not right now. I have other priorities. (E)

25% - I'm not actively thinking about it, but if they're interested, then I'm game. (B and D)

50% - Why not? My date is super hot and I'm very interested in them. But if they're not in the mood, then that's fine, too. (H and C)

75% - Look, I'm making an Effort here. It would be nice if my date could show some interest. (G and A)

100% - OH HECK YEAH (F)

3.) Finish the sentence: "How..."

did you know that I'd still be here? (B)

long should I wait? (A)

did you know my name? (H)

wonderful to see you again. (D)

the hell did I fuck that up? (C)

rude! (G)

do you want me? ;) (F)

much longer until my order gets here? (E)

4.) Pick one word from the list:

Life (E)

Patience (A)

Change (F)

Courage (H)

Wonder (B)

Contentment (D)

Friendship (C)

Prosperity (G)

5.) Do you hate Shakespeare?

Ugh. Do we have to talk about him? I have more important things to worry about. (E)

I'm so glad you asked. Here, make yourself comfortable. I have a 6 hour presentation on why he sucks. (D)

I'd rather read a phonebook. (A)

I don't know who that is. (B)

(sighs) If I say no, will you leave me alone? (C)

THAT FUCKING BASTARD (G)

I watched one of his plays. Still think he's overrated, though. (F)

What's a shake spear? Is that a weapon or something? (H)

6.) How likely are you to say stupid shit?

Everything I say is stupid shit. (G)

Only when I'm drunk. (H)

I have no filter, so... (B)

I'd like to think I have learned not to be so careless. (E)

Fuck! I thought I had it! Apparently not. Gods motherfuck I'm never speaking again. (C)

I'm trying, okay? I really am. (F)

I said stupid shit once and I regret it until now. (A)

Very likely. Just wait and see. Any second now. (D)

YES OR NO QUESTIONS: If your answer is yes, +1 to the letter indicated.

7.) Do you believe in love at first sight? (H)

8.) Do you get excited over things/topics that others consider boring? (B)

9.) Are you content with the life you have right now? (G)

10.) Do you still feel hopeful, despite the horrors? (E)

11.) Are you always DTF (Down To Fight)? (F)

12.) Have you ever fallen in love with a friend? (C)

13.) Would you wait/Have you waited for hours for your friend/s to arrive? (A)

14.) Are you willing to wait however long it takes for the love of your life to appear in your life? (D)

15.) BONUS: Which is your favorite Hob?

1389 (H)

1489 (B)

1589 (G)

1689 (E)

1789 (F)

1889 (C)

1989 (A)

2022 (D)

RESULTS:

Mostly A's = 1989 Hob

Mostly B's = 1489 Hob

Mostly C's = 1889 Hob

Mostly D's = 2022 Hob

Mostly E's = 1689 Hob

Mostly F's = 1789 Hob

Mostly G's = 1589 Hob

Mostly H's = 1389 Hob

#which character are you #tumblr quiz #hob gadling #the sandman #also tagging this as #dreamling #i spent more time on this than i should have #for the record my result is a tie between poor little meow meow hob and professor gadling #i am satisfied 😌

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peachhcs · 27 days ago

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please something with Sammy and will after tonight’s (Chicago’s) game! he looked way too good

ok i know umich women's soccer isn't doing the best this season and they lost their game last night, but let's just pretend for this tehehe. will looked fine affff in that intermission interview phew

au masterlist

samy’s phone buzzed in her hand while she helped hannah unlock their apartment door and shuffled in with their stuff. the brunette smiled seeing her boyfriend’s name flash across the screen knowing they probably just finished the game an hour ago.

“damn, is he ever not on time with those calls?” hannah teased when she saw her friend’s phone making the two giggle.

“he’s very consistent with calling every night,” samy hummed, dropping her bags by the counter for now so she could answer will’s call.

his face appeared a moment later, curls damp and face flushed probably from the shower. hannah quickly waved when samy propped her phone up on the counter, “hey will! about to go watch the highlights!” the duke sibling exclaimed before disappearing from the frame.

will chuckled. “hey hannah. hey,” he directed his focus back to samy, expression worn from the long day and the even longer night ahead as they headed to canada for tomorrow night’s game.

“hi, i haven’t watched the highlights yet. we just got back from my game as soon as you called,” samy smiled a bit, but it faded when she saw the blonde’s faded expression.

“ugh, you don’t have to even bother. we lost 4-2,” will rolled his eyes a bit, the defeat clear in his system still. so far, the season hadn’t really been off to a great start yet.

“aw, i’m sorry. how long were you on for?”

“i was on every period, but i dunno. bedard is fucking scary sometimes on the ice,” will huffed making samy giggle.

"yeah, you're right with that one. i mean at least you tried your best that's all that matters. i'm sure it will pick up. you're still getting used to it and everything. plus, these guys way faster and way different from college hockey," she offered her best advice to hopefully lift the hockey player's spirits. will did manage a smile.

"i know, i know. still hurts sometimes though. i can count how many games we've won on one hand," he held up his fingers.

"it will look up, i promise. i'm still proud of you, and i did catch your first intermission interview. you should see the comments under that video," the girl giggled referring to the all the other girls fan-girling over her boyfriend because of how good he looked between periods.

will's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, shaking his head a bit, "so are you saying you agree with them?"

"i mean, you did look pretty good. they have a point," samy grinned making her boyfriend deeply blush.

"i'll remember that then. too bad you aren't here to see it all in person," he teased back which had samy blushing as well.

if anything, samy was always right along with those girls making edits and thirsting over her boyfriend. she loved seeing the edits come in her for you page and more times than not, she was sending them to will so he could see himself.

"maybe next time when i don't have a game keeping me here."

"you guys won right?" will wondered and the brunette eagerly nodded. "i caught some of it during intermission. 7-1's pretty good."

"i know. we're super excited about the season. coach definitely thinks we're winning it all," samy chuckled.

"i mean, with you there it's pretty much in the bag," the boy's words brought another blush to her cheeks.

"you're just saying that," she rolled her eyes, but will just shrugged.

"i've already bought my tickets for the finals," the couple shared a smile with one another.

"bold move, but i appreciate it."

"hey will, we're packing up soon," a new voice entered the call and samy quickly recognized it as macklin.

the younger brunette stuck his head into the frame, waving. "hi samy."

"hi mack. i'll let you guys go. have a safe flight, text me when you land," samy blew a kiss to will through the screen.

"i will. i love you," he did the same back, ignoring macklin's snickering.

"i love you, too! bye mack," she waved to them before ending the call, excited to finally get into the shower to get all the dirt and sweat off her body.

"is this how gabe felt last year when you were always calling samy?" macklin teased while will threw his phone onto the bed to get the rest of his things together.

"oh shut up," he shoved the boy, sharing a laugh. "when you get a girlfriend, i'm not gonna leave you alone either."

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sirfrogsworth · 2 years ago

Text

My dad passed away a few hours after I left the hospital.

I really didn't want him to be alone when it happened. I figured we had at least another week before the toxins built up in his system. But he had congestive heart failure along with renal failure and I think he would have passed tonight whether he stopped dialysis or not. I'm so glad we didn't attempt that amputation. He would have gone through that and died a few days later regardless.

When I left he was in a very deep sleep. So at least I was there for his last moments of consciousness. The last thing he saw was a loved one. I still wish I had stayed tonight. They even asked me if I'd like to spend the night and I had this feeling like maybe I should. But my back was on fire and I was very sleepy. And I wanted to make sure I was able to meet his visitors in the morning. So I went home to get some rest.

I know people will comfort me and say it's okay, but my mom died all alone in the ICU. She couldn't even have visitors. And I just didn't want that for my dad. I wanted to be by his side holding his hand.

In any case, they called around 12:40 am. I barely held it together until I hung up the phone. I called my brother to let him know. Then I woke up Katrina to hear a comforting voice to calm me down. I wish she could have hugged me, but the power of her hugging spirit is so profound you can almost feel it through the phone.

I let her get back to sleep and I went back to the hospital at about 1 am. I had to enter through the ER and an armed security guard escorted me to the elevators. I went up to the 4th floor to the hospice suite (aka a regular hospital room with string lights). I met with my dad's night nurse--a lovely Haitian gentleman named Kennedy.

He escorted me into my father's room. He had prepared it to try and make me more comfortable. He made sure the room had enough light, but not overwhelmingly so. The room was spotless so I guess they must have cleaned it. They packed up my father's belongings and placed them in the corner. Kennedy had the TV set to some sort of relaxation channel. It had images of beaches, mellow music, and sounds of the ocean. Though it made it hard to hear him and I wish he had just left the TV off. Ocean sounds were not going to make seeing my dad any more pleasant. But I guess I appreciate the effort.

My dad was still in his hospital bed. They adjusted it to be perfectly flat and they covered him with the soft, fuzzy microfiber blanket I brought to help my dad be more comfortable. Hospital blankets were scratchy to his sensitive skin. His eyes were closed but his mouth was wide open. I'm wondering if they were unable to close it. My eyes kept playing tricks on me because I kept thinking I saw his chest rise and fall. Maybe my brain just wanted to believe he was just sleeping.

The nurse had me sign a document and gave me some privacy to say goodbye. Once he left I quickly turned off those damn ocean sounds. They were really distracting.

I don't really believe you can talk to the dead. So I just grabbed his belongings, pulled his fuzzy blanket off and left the room.

I guess next up is the service. I am going to try to write a eulogy tomorrow. Hopefully I can find the words to honor my dad's life.

Thank you all for helping support me through this. All of your messages and thoughts really did help make this more tolerable. And thank you for putting up with all of my bored hospital thoughts.

I guess I am going to try and get a few more hours of sleep before I start calling people in the morning. I'll have to let my dad's friends know they can't visit him.

Goodnight everyone.

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silentglassbreak · 3 months ago

Note

I have a request for when you have time and only if you vibe with it haha

How about: Mona, somewhat tall, dark hair, light blue eyes, loves a tattoo when she can afford it, loves jewellery (fingers full of rings, chokers). She's been friends with the band for a while, can be a bit shy but fun and lovely to be around. She's gotten out of her first relationship a while ago, one where she never felt really appreciated or loved and the other person didn't really bother with her enjoyment during sex ever, so much that she wondered if sex just wasn't for her. But Noah, oh Noah, doesn't even need to do much but she feels hot and bothered. So what if Noah finds out and vows to provide her with an amazing experience, finding out she's actually quite kinky along the way. The kinks are up to you if you'd like I'll love it all haha. Maybe they're also in love with each other and just realising it now, maybe it's just a fwb situation, completely up to you, I can't wait to see what you'll come up with, your writing is amazing! 💜💜

Something light and easy, just for funsies. ☺️ After Writing Notes: This was fun. I enjoyed having something more lighthearted. Hopefully it is what you were hoping for.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, kink (nothing too wild), oral sex (both receiving)

Blackbird

"This had better be good if you're calling me at six in the morning..."

I rubbed my eyes, my deep frustrations seeping out in my words.

"It is!" I huffed, waiting for him to continue. "We're home!"

I raised an eyebrow. "I'd hope so. You've been on the road for like...three days?"

"Right, but we're home! And we want to go get breakfast!"

Still failing to see what any of that had to do with me, I tossed my arm over my face. "So...do that?"

"Okay, so you'll meet us there?"

"I beg your pardon?" I opened my eyes, knitting my eyebrows together.

"You'll meet us at Reggie's?"

I growled into the receiver. "You're out of your God damn mind if you think I'm getting out of bed anytime before ten, Nick."

"C'mon Mona! We talked about getting together as soon as we got home!"

"Uh, yeah, I figured that meant after you had taken some time to fucking recover!"

He giggled. "We're all caffeinated and hungry. Thought it would be a good time!"

"It's not."

"I'm buying!"

"I'd rather die."

"Too bad. Get dressed and meet us in an hour, please!"

Opening my mouth to protest, I felt the line go dead.

There were moments I truly regretted being friends with Nick Folio. He was a morning person.

Lifting my head off of the bed, I scrunched up my nose and pouted for a moment, gathering enough of my bearings to pull my legs off the side and stood up.

My arms reached over my head, my spine cracking and stretching. I walked over to the kitchen, pulled the refrigerator open and yanked the iced coffee from the shelf. Quickly, I mixed myself a beverage and drank half of it in three solid gulps.

Once the caffeine began burning it's way through me, I drug myself into the bathroom and stared at my reflection.

Well, it could be worse, right?

My icy blue eyes were only so puffy today, my hair freshly washed the night before. My shirt was clean as well, which was an improvement over the last couple of weeks.

I hadn't mentioned to any of the guys that I had been moping for the last two weeks straight. Sixteen days, more specifically.

Since Vinny decided he 'wasn't ready for a committed relationship'. Aside from being devastated, I also found it interesting given we had been dating for over a fucking year.

Fucking producers, man. Snakes - every last one.

I was blindsided by the breakup, and I had let myself feel it full force. My method was to be in pain, depressed, and disgusting for as long as it took for the heartbreak to fade away. If that meant not leaving the house, barely eating, and showering every three days, then so be it.

I did, however, know the boys would be home today, and had to prepare for that. My best friends for a good nine years now, I knew there was no getting out of seeing them as soon as they touched ground in California. I maybe expected a little more time to sleep in, but not much.

It was too early to care about appearances, so I brushed through my dark, chocolate-toned mess of hair and tossed it into a messy ponytail. I pulled my favorite band t-shirt over my head, a Bring Me shirt I got back at Warped Tour in 2012, and slipped into a pair of plain black leggings. My flip-flops would have to do, as I had no desire to hunt down two socks, let alone matching ones.

When I locked my front door, I winced at my nails. I had been biting and pulling at my cuticles for days without even realizing. I needed to get acrylics ASAP. I made a mental note to see if the nail salon had any openings after breakfast.

My deeply tinted sunglasses hid my eyes from the outside world. I hadn't bothered with any makeup this morning, not having the time nor the patience for it.

I hummed idly to my music as I drove the short ten minutes to Reggie's Diner, zoning out mostly. I pulled into the space in front, noticing none of their vehicles were there yet.

Of course.

Fucker wakes me up early, pulls me from the hole I had crawled into, and doesn't even show up on time. How predictable. I pulled a foot up onto the seat, balancing my chin on my knee while I waited.

The music streamed through my speakers, and the lyrics hit me in the chest.

"I guess this is goodbye. I guess we got what we deserved. Hold on to your heart, it's almost over."

"Ugh." I turned the volume down to zero, not wanting those kinds of emotions sinking in.

Before I could dwell too long, a loud, sharp knock came on my window, and I jumped nearly a foot in the air.

Standing in my driver's side window, Folio was pressing his forehead against the glass, making cross-eyed faces. I turned to the windshield, where Nicholas was lifting his shirt up to flash me. Jolly stood next to him, rubbing a palm over his friend's bare stomach, thrusting his hips like a complete moron. To my right, Noah stood at the opposing window, mouth pressed against the glass, puffing out his cheeks.

Tears nearly welled in my eyes at the absolute absurdity of these idiots. God, I fucking missed them.

I scanned the menu for no reason at all, already knowing exactly what I planned to order.

"French toast and an over easy egg, right?" Noah's elbow bumped me, his own menu open in front of him.

I pursed my lips. "No, I actually thought I'd get the waffles with bacon this time."

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, and I cracked a smile.

"Nah, I'm getting French toast."

He snickered, nodding his head. "You always do."

"Yeah, well you always get raspberry lemonade so..."

"What's wrong with lemonade?!" He dropped his menu, eyes scanning me.

"Nothing." He huffed, narrowing his eyes. "Raspberry lemonade though?"

He opened his mouth to retort, but we were interrupted by the waiter. Each taking turns placing our orders, Noah went last, ordering a peach lemonade. I rolled my eyes, and folded my arms on the table, listening to them idly chat.

"I have a feeling that once I get food in me, I'm going to nap for at least eight hours." Jolly chuckled, fiddling with the salt shaker.

"Dude, me too. I think I'm just running on hopes and dreams right now." Nicholas added.

"How was the drive from New York?"

They all groaned in unison. "Fucking long." Folio commented.

"It felt like we were driving through Colorado for a fucking year." Noah tossed his head back.

I bumped him with my shoulder at his theatrics. "Your guys' bus is so bougie, it couldn't have been so bad."

"Once you've been in it for months like we have?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I never want to see another tour bus again."

They all nodded together, affirming noises under their breaths.

"Don't you leave for the second leg of the tour in, like, eight weeks?"

There was a beat of silence before they all cackled. "Fuck, dude. Don't remind me!" Folio dropped his face in his hands.

Everyone fell into side conversations as we waited for our food. I was listening to Folio tell me about the people he had the opportunity to meet while they were traveling, but I felt my mind wandering, my eyes following, eventually settling on Noah.

Somehow, since I had last seen him three months ago, he managed to get even more muscular. His arms were bigger, and his hair was slightly longer than it was before he left. He had a fresh tattoo on the small patch of open skin on his upper arm, ink still vibrant. He was listening to Jolly, smiling at whatever he was telling him that was so entertaining.

"Mona?" It occurred to me that I missed what Folio was saying to me.

"Huh?" I looked back at him. "Repeat that?"

He smirked. "Space cadet?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's early." He mimicked me, rolling his eyes as well. "What did you ask?"

"I said, how's Vinny?"

My heart sunk, and the lump that I had just managed to swallow reformed in my throat. My face must have given something away, because the entire table fell silent.

"Oh, Vinny..." My stare fell down to my plate, pushing what was left of my French toast around. "He's fine."

Nick lowered his face so he could force me to meet his eyes.

"Everything okay?"

I nodded, biting my lip and trying like hell to smile. "Yeah, all good."

"That's not believable." Nicholas spoke up, pointing a finger at me. The glare I shot at him could’ve sliced right through his skin, had he not deflected with his own. “Care to explain?”

I set my fork down, folding my hands in my lap and folding my shoulders in. I could feel Noah leaning just a fraction closer to me, and my skin was warm where I felt his hoodie pressing against me.

“I don’t, actually. Thank you, though!” I tried to sound as chipper as possible, but it was falling on deaf ears. These morons knew me better than anyone.

“You guys fighting or something?” Jolly piped up between bites of hash.

I shook my head. “Nope.” Dismissive was not a skill I possessed.

“Do I need to fuck him up?” Folio did his best to look intimidating, and this made me cackle.

“No, Nick. No need.”

A bump to my arm made my eyes glance up at Noah, his face concerned. “What’s goin’ on, Mona?”

What was it about that fool that made me crumble like clay?

I sighed hard, leaning back in my chair, and averting my eyes to my plate, fingers now fiddling with my napkin. I could tell they were all looking at me, and it was a heavy feeling.

“Vinny broke it off.”

I don’t think I’ve seen four jaws fall at once before, but there’s a first for everything. I felt Noah tense up next to me, and it took all I had not to lean into him. He didn’t need to be fazed, it wasn’t a big deal…right?

“The fuck?!” Nicholas dropped his fork on his plate. “Why?”

I shrugged in response, pursing my lips. “Who knows.”

“Kicking his ass sounds pretty good, now.” Noah’s words were meant to be humorous, I’m sure. But his tone said otherwise, low and venomous.

When I chanced a look up at him, his eyes were narrowed into dangerous slits, focused on me. My hand gripped his arm, squeezing gently.

“It’s really no big deal, guys. Just wasn’t meant to be.”

“He didn’t give you a reason?” Folio sounded more concerned than angry.

I groaned, leaning my elbows on the table and rubbing my eyes. “Fuck, I guess? He said he wasn’t ready to commit or some bullshit.”

I heard at least two of them suck their teeth in disapproval.

“What horse shit. You guys were together a year.” Jolly wiped his mouth on his napkin.

“It was over a year.” I said, my voice small.

“Didn’t he ask you to move in with him like, three months ago?” Noah sounded like he was in disbelief.

“He did. I turned him down because I was afraid of something like this happening.”

“Mona?” My eyes fell on Folio, his hand now on my shoulder. “When did this happen?”

My face fell, then. I knew they weren’t going to like my answer.

“Like…” I took a breath. “Two and a half weeks ago?”

“What?!” Yep, about what I expected. “Mona! Why didn’t you tell me?” Nick was nearly out of his chair.

“Why would I?” I tried not to look at him, but I knew he was burning a hole in my face.

“Oh fuck, I don’t know.” He scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Maybe because we’re your best friends!”

I rolled my eyes. “Who were on tour! You guys didn’t need my petty drama while you were working.”

Noah scoffed, turning his body toward me. “And we could’ve just brought you out to finish tour with us.” He glanced around the table, silent agreement from the other guys. “It’s not like we haven’t before.”

He had taken my hands, which felt so tiny in his huge grip. I couldn’t help but smile at him, and then at the rest of them.

“Guys, as amazing as you all are,” I pointedly looked at each of them. “I’m a big girl, and I don’t need my boys coming to my rescue over a little heartbreak.”

Noah’s fingers squeezed me, bringing my attention back to him. “We know that, but we like doing it. So next time, tell us, okay?”

I leaned my face into his chest, his arms circling me in a tight hug. I smiled, feeling safer than I had before they left. When he released me, I smiled at them.

“I love you guys.”

“Mona!” I turned, my keys in hand to unlock my car. Noah was jogging in my direction, the rest of the guys already in their own ride.

“What’s up?”

He stopped in front of me, looking almost like he was losing nerve the longer he stared at me. He tucked his hands in his sweater pocket, now smiling at me sheepishly.

“I just wanted to know, do you have plans today?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, just going to get my nails done. Might grab some groceries later. That’s it, though.”

He nodded, kicking his shoe against the asphalt. “Okay, think you’d want to see a movie later?”

This wasn’t out of the ordinary. I had my designated activity that I typically did with each of the guys.

Jolly was a ‘go out to a fine dining restaurant’ type of guy, so he would take us out at least once a month to a new place, and we would spend the evening critiquing the food and atmosphere - as if either of us had any right. It was hilarious.

Nicholas, being the tattoo artist he was, loved the days I took the time to spend in the shop, helping him clean up and hang out. He had very little time to tattoo these days, and when he did, his books were full. I would sit with him, help him sketch, and bring food to the shop. He usually gave me little bangers here and there while we had time, and it helped my tattoo addiction, and my budget, tremendously.

Nick, unsurprisingly, was the nature freak. Luckily for him, I loved to fish. We’d hop on his bike when the weather was right, and head up to Big Bear a few times a year, or hit the piers for saltwater fishing. I never caught much, but he always told the other guys I did.

Noah, however, was a movie guy. Horror, sci-fi, comedy, didn’t matter. If it was in a theater, he wanted to see it. I was all for that. I had a serious affinity for popcorn, and loved to listen to him whisper to me during the movie, or bitch about it on the drive home. Maybe I enjoyed the occasions where I got chilly, and he let me wear his sweater? Or maybe I just liked being alone with him?

When I first met the boys, Noah had instantly stuck out differently than the rest of them. He was stunning, reserved, funny, and glowed like the sun. He had a smile that made my knees buckle and a hug that could swallow me whole. Voice of a siren and talent like none other.

Of course, I had an immediate crush on him.

Something about the way he spoke gave me such pause, my ears yearning to hear every word, hanging on them as they came out. The way he moved, gestured, breathed...it made my skin tingle.

However, when Noah and I met all those years ago, he had a girlfriend. It was disappointing - to say the least - but I respected it, and continued on as his best friend. I put the feelings to bed, and accepted the group of four misfits into my life without hesitation, arms open. Did the feelings eventually relax? Sure.

Something I appreciated about mine and Noah's situation was that I had the opportunity to get to know him better than I ever would have, had we entered into any kind of relationship. I saw him at his very best, but also at his lowest depths. I watched him free fall through his depression. Held his hand while he fought through the shadows within his own mind.

Noah, like myself, had a dark and violent past, so we were always closer. The guys constantly made comments about it, saying we were kindred spirits, begging to be together. It was all very Shakespeare, and we typically brushed it off. We laughed at their silly jokes...but over the years, there had been more than a few long and awkward stares between us.

He never told me he had feelings for me. The words never left his mouth. But did he walk with his arm around me sometimes? Hold my hand at the scariest parts of the movies? Bring me snacks and nap with me when I was sick?

Every. Time.

Until Vinny.

Once Vinny came into the picture, Noah had to take a step back. He had been single for three years - me for four. He had ample time to make some kind of move. He never did. So we sat in comfortable solace. And then Vinny came in, swept me up, and 'ran off with me', as Noah put it. He was upset, but would never admit it. Our movie dates stopped. Sick days were cancelled. And my shoulders were always so cold...

Over a year, Noah and I had been as platonic as brother and sister. It was painful at first, but I think we both got used to it. We hadn't seen a movie together in fifteen months...

"Mona?"

I was pulled from my thoughts and brought back to a very sheepish looking Noah, who looked as though he was about to tell me to forget it.

"Yes! Of course I'll go to the movies with you!" Maybe that came out a little too excited.

It was worth it, however, to see the way his face lit up. "Yeah?" He nodded, hiding his teeth in his smile. "Alright, cool."

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hide my own enthusiasm. "What're we going to see?"

"Tarot is out, have you heard of it?"

My eyes deadpanned at him. "Looked terrifying."

"Perfect!" He turned to walk away. "I'll look up showtimes?"

I shook my head. "Just pick me up at nine? We'll figure it out from there?"

This made him smirk. "You got it." He began walking back toward his brothers, and I turned to my car door. "Oh!"

I whipped back around.

"Do you need me to bring you a sweatshirt?"

I felt the warmth pool in my gut. Oh, the game was so on.

"Nah." I waved a hand at him. "Yours will do."

Was this a date? It wasn't. I was sure it wasn't. It couldn't have been. Not possible. We were best friends. I was reading into this.

Noah had seen me with strep throat. Bought me tampons. Held my hair back while I vomited. There was no way he had feelings for me. He probably viewed me as his gross younger sister. Or his weird cousin who stole his clothes a lot. There was no way.

But I still found myself dialing Nick, staring down at my two outfit options, chewing the skin of my lip to a pulp waiting for him to answer. It took three back-to-back calls before his groggy voice mumbled into the line.

"I'm sleeping."

I rolled my eyes. "I need your help."

"Mona, I'm tired."

"Yeah, well, I was tired at six this morning. Sucks to suck. I need your help." I was now actively pacing my bedroom.

"Ugh, hang on." I could hear him moving around, likely sitting up in bed. A loud groan came on the other end. Stretching. "Alright, whose dying?"

"Nick, I don't know if this is a date."

He spoke through a yawn. "Your thing with Noah? You guys used to always do that shit."

I scoffed. "That was before."

"Before...what?" I could hear the sound of a door opening, and then closing.

"Before," I took a second, but wasn't even certain of what I was thinking anymore. I growled. "just before!"

"Well, that makes a lot of sense, huh?"

I could hear his voice echoing, and then the sound of water running. Wait...not water...

"Are you pissing on the phone with me, you freak?!"

He chuckled at that, still sounding exhausted. "You wake me up? You deal with the consequences."

I made a noise of disgust. "Wash your hands before we finish this conversation."

I could hear the sink running, and then he picked the phone back up.

"I honestly don't get what you're freaking out about, dude."

"Of course you don't get it. You're a cool, nonchalant, unbothered dude! Whereas I'm over here thinking way too much into this and having an anxiety attack!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down." He huffed back down onto his bed. "Talk me through it."

"Okay." I took a deep breath, turning to look at my bed. "I don't know what to wear. Usually, during movie nights with Noah, I wear sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I like to be comfy in the theater, especially since he takes us to the ones with the...uh..." I snapped to think of the word. "recliners! The chairs that lean back? So do I just go with normal attire? Or, do I dress up nicer? Show him I'm interested in this being more than just a typical movie date? Show off a little? Will that give him the wrong impression? Will he think I'm trying too hard? But if I bum it out, will he think I'm a slob and have let myself go since the breakup? I don't know what to do. Don't even get me started on makeup."

"Holy fuck dude, you are freaking out."

My heart was racing at the rate my mouth was moving, but Folio's voice made me snap my jaw shut. I only talked that fast when I was losing my mind.

"Listen," He breathed loudly, likely sinking back down into his pillows. "I get why you're nervous. But this is Noah."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm aware."

"So that means, the beauty about going on a date with him is that he knows you better than anyone. Even me. So you can be yourself."

"It's a date."

"No shit. Noah has been pining over you since the day you both met. Wouldn't shut up about going to the movies with you all day. It's a date."

All of the blood drained from my face. "Oh."

My heart had froze. Thinking it to myself was one thing, but to hear someone else say it...

"Don't start spiraling. This has been almost a decade in the making. It's going to go fine. Just be you. Wear your comfy clothes. No makeup. Hair loose. You're stupid cute like that."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Nick, knock it off."

He snickered. "Listen, babe. I may not be the one in love with you, but I can appreciate a fox when I see one."

I almost dropped the phone as my stomach lurched. "You said what just now?!"

Realizing his error, Nick's voice jumped several octaves. "No! No no no! I didn't mean it like that! It's a figure of speech!"

I felt my chest tighten. "Oh fuck..."

"Nope. Mona, listen to me! I was just using the phrase to prove a point! He's not in love with you!"

"He's not?"

"No, I mean...he is...well, he's never..." I could feel the vein in my neck threatening to burst. "Shit."

I sat on my bed, wiping my now damp palms on my pant legs.

"Listen, don't listen to me. I'm half asleep and I smoked before I went to bed, so I'm still a little faded. Just..." He took a hard breath. "Just be you, Mona. Regardless of how deep he feels for you, I know he's excited to just hang with you. He's kept you at arms length for over a year, out of respect. Now that he's allowed to get close again," I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I'm not sure he'll let you get too far anymore."

Something about that calmed me. That's why I called Folio. Despite my near-stroke, he knew how to talk me off of pretty much any ledge that I found myself inching toward.

"Okay. So comfy clothes, hair down, no makeup?"

"Right. But wear your jewelry."

My eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Yeah?"

"You know those rings you wear? And the choker? He thinks they're sexy."

I waited impatiently at the bottom of the apartment building, fingers pulling at the long sleeves of my shirt. Although I fully intended to snitch his hoodie, it was still too brisk to go completely unprotected.

His truck pulled up at five till nine, right on time. I hopped into the passenger's side easily, and cherished the familiar smell of him. I missed it something awful.

"Hey!" I looked over at him. Clearly, he had the same idea as I did, wearing his joggers, plain black hoodie, and his hair still wet from a shower. He looked so clean...edible. My mouth watered at the idea.

"Hey!" He reached over to pull me into a half-hug, letting his hand linger on my arm. His eyes glanced over me, lingering maybe a second or two longer on my neck. My black 90s style choker sat tight on my skin. He ran his fingers down my arm to my hand, running his thumb over the stone of the ring on my index finger.

Thank you, Folio.

"Multiplex has a showtime in thirty minutes?"

I smiled brightly. "Perfect!"

The drive was short, and we were bounding into the building, arm in arm, same as always. "We're getting popcorn?"

He smirked. "And candy."

After obtaining our goodies, we made our way into the theater, finding our seats. Before he leaned his back, he shrugged out of his sweater, dropping it in my lap. I looked over at him, and he only threw a wink at me. I slipped it on easily, sinking deep into the fabric.

The movie was scary...but it wasn't great. The story was very over-done. Teenagers in a place they shouldn't be. Fucking with stuff they shouldn't be. End up cursed and killed one by one.

Sounds like Evil Dead, right? Nope.

Cabin In The Woods? Nope.

Talk To Me? Nope.

Tarot, ladies and gentlemen.

I would admit, the jump scares would get me. During the first one, where the priestess jumps at the girl in the attic, I physically jumped, which caused Noah to grab my hand, and physically pull me into his side. I hid my face under the sleeve of the sweater, only watching from the top of my field of vision. The next jump, I nearly scrambled into his lap. He laughed at me for that.

By the final jump scare, I wasn't watching the movie anymore. My legs were over his lap, and his hand was tracing up and down my back. My ear pressed to his chest, I could hear his heart beating fast. Although he continued to watch the movie, laughing at the deaths, and chewing popcorn, I could tell Noah was just as nervous as I.

During one particularly horrific scene where a girl was being sawed in half...alive...I had to turn my face away from the screen.

"It's alright, they're barely showing anything." He whispered into my hair.

"You know I have a thing about being cut up alive." It gave me the creeps. Nightmare-fuel.

He chuckled. "I'll tell you when you can look."

The moment lasted far too long, the girl’s screams ringing in my ears as my fingers clutched at his shirt. After the scene had flipped, I let my body relax.

"It's over, baby."

The word.

He never called me that.

Mona. Mo'. Babes. Darling. Lady. Rick (Don't ask).

But 'baby'?

Never. Not once.

I pulled my face away from the soft cotton of his shirt, and instead of looking at the screen, I stared at him. Face lit by the lights of the movie flashing, I could see his eyes staring back down at me.

I couldn't have imagined the energy change. The voices in the background faded into a dull blur, not interesting me enough to see anything but him.

His lips were shiny, as if he had licked them. Maybe it was the butter from the popcorn.

I didn't care, because in that moment, they were mine for the taking.

Without any forethought, I grabbed his face, and pressed my mouth to his, feeling how soft his lips were. God, I had been missing out.

His arms tightened around me, leaning down to press himself against my body. His tongue pressed into my mouth, and my eyes rolled back behind my lids. I breathed into him, letting him feel everything I had been holding back for almost a decade.

Oh wow. Noah. It was always Noah.

Something inside my soul woke up. Something in my brain sparked to life and roared like a once-dead battery recharged.

Noah was it. He was what I was missing.

When we finally disconnected, his eyes looked about as blown as mine, breathing heavily. I just let my lips crack in a smile, my hand catching in his hair and knitting into the loose strands.

Our beautiful, incredible moment, was interrupted suddenly by a bright light flashing directly in our eyes. We looked over at the source, seeing a worker stood, flashlight pointed at us.

"Guys," He walked closer, voice hushed. "I get this movie is rated R, but you've got to go somewhere else to do all of that."

I sunk back into my seat, and Noah did the same. We both blushed hard, looking at each other, and giggling in embarrassment. We finished the last of the forgettable film in our respective chairs, our fingers still interlaced on the arm rests.

"Your aim sucks." His finger picked up the M&M out of his lap, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yours is no better, dork." I giggled as I popped one in my mouth.

The overlook of the city lights glittered beside us, below the hill we parked on. The hatch of Noah's Navigator popped open, we sat in the back across from each other.

Since leaving the theater, we hadn't had any physical contact. I'm almost certain we were both too nervous. I wasn't sure how to get that magic back, but going home and parting company sounded torturous, so I recommended we go back to our spot.

It was customary to park here, just up the road from his house, secluded and quiet. We usually sat and debriefed the film we had just watched, but that didn't take long. We both agreed it was too stereotypical, agreeing it was only a 4/10.

After that, I recommended we play twenty questions...to stall, of course.

"It's your turn, punk."

I rolled the candy around in my mouth, and pursed my lips. "Mkay." I thought for a moment. "How many girls did you sleep with on this last tour?"

I wasn't sure when the questions turned dirty, but he seemed unfazed by it.

"Two. But they were meh." He poised his hand to toss another chocolate, and I opened my mouth.

"Yeah? Not the best?"

The candy missed and struck my nose, which I caught in my hand when it fell.

"Pretty much."

I nodded, ignoring the pull I felt in my stomach. I had nothing to be bothered by, so I ignored it.

"Your turn."

"Mm," He tossed another candy, making it onto my tongue this time. "What's your favorite position?"

I chuckled. "That's so stupid."

"Why?"

"Because, how many are there?"

He leaned against the siding of the truck, putting a handful of M&Ms in his mouth. "Kama Sutra says there's over a hundred."

I shook my head, giggling. "Well, I don't really have a favorite."

He rolled his eyes. "Everyone has their favorite."

"What's yours then?"

"Nope." He held up a finger. "Not your turn."

I shrugged. "Fine." I mulled it over for a moment, looking out at the lights. "Probably cowgirl. I'm old-fashioned."

He eyed me, as if he was suspicious. "Hmm," Popping the last candy in his mouth, he crumpled the bag in his hand. "I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"It's too boring."

I raised my eyebrows. "You think I'm boring?"

He laughed. "No, I'm saying I don't believe you are."

"Because...?"

He shrugged then, almost looking cautious. After a moment, he pulled his knees up, resting his arms on them and interlocking his fingers. "I overheard Vinny talking once. He said you were a real freak in bed."

Something about that made my spine straighten and my blood run cold.

"Did he now?" My eyes were glaring at him.

He didn't falter. "He did. And I almost knocked his teeth in, but I don't doubt it."

"Why is that?"

His lips turned up in a small smile. "I just have a feeling."

His tone was menacing, and something about it made me swallow hard. I was caught between feeling mortified and turned on. Noah was always so relaxed and collected. I had never seen him look so...hungry.

"And you?"

"Me, what?"

Matching his energy, I sat up and leaned back on my arms. "Are you kinky? Or vanilla?"

I could see his lips twitch, caught off guard by my flip of power. "Define kinky?"

"Well," I leaned forward, leaving very little space between our faces. "do you have any dark things you like to do in bed? Anything...taboo?"

I could see his eyes watching my mouth as it moved. "I don't know."

Letting my tongue trace over my bottom lip, I smirked. "No? You've never had the chance to do anything different?"

He raised an eyebrow, now looking confused. "I mean, I'm not into like...feet, or anything, if that's what you mean?"

My eyes widened, and I couldn't stop the harsh, blistering laugh that busted out of me, making me lean back. Tears fell from my eyes, and I almost choked in the process.

I heard him laugh too, kicking a leg at me. "Hey, sorry I'm so vanilla."

I continued to cackle like a hyena, but sat up, holding my ribcage. "I'm sorry. Jesus, that was hilarious."

He rolled his eyes, clearly uneasy about his answer, but his smile was so warm, I couldn't help but reach out and grab his hand.

"It's your turn."

He sucked his teeth. "I thought it was yours?"

I huffed out the last of my laughter. "Fuck, I lost track."

"Alright, I'll go." He sighed, face now turning serious. "Was Vinny good in bed?"

His tone wasn’t playful, but I was still recovering from my fit of giggles. "Fuck no."

His eyes popped open. "Seriously?"

I wiped at my tears, sniffling. "Not at all, dude. He thought doggy style was kinky. He also referred to my chest as 'voluptuous'. Nothing kills a mood faster, let me tell you."

Now he was laughing, and I tossed my water bottle at him in response.

"It's not funny! He was awful!"

"So why'd you stay over a year?" He asked through his laughter.

"Cause." That was all I was giving on that subject.

"Did he at least make you come?"

Shaking my head, I made a gross face. "No. I usually finished after he would leave."

"Ugh, that's sad."

I rolled my eyes. "You're telling me. Guy thought eating pussy meant making out with it..."

Noah stilled, his eyes getting dark. "What a shame. Some guys have no finesse."

I felt small under his eyes, suddenly needing to switch topics off of me.

"My turn."

He just nodded in response.

"I want to go back to this kink thing." He stretched his legs and linked his hands behind his head, waiting. "Do you like it rough?"

"To me? Or to someone else?"

"Either?"

He smiled. "Both."

"Biting?"

He thought for a second. "Only sometimes."

"Choking?"

He snickered. "Yes."

Feeling brave, I sat up on my knees, slipping the hoodie over my head, and continued my interrogation.

"Dirty talking?"

"Give me an example."

I inched toward him, crawling on my hands until I was hovering over his legs. "Do you like telling her she's a good girl?"

"I suppose." His hands fell to his sides, palms up. "If she's being one."

Cocking my head to the side, I brought a hand up to his knee. "And do you like it when she begs?"

I watched as the Adam's apple in his throat bobbed. "Yes."

Slowly, my hand trailed up his thigh. "And what if she calls you names?"

His eyes scanned my face. "Like what?"

I smirked. "There's a lot of options. Sir. Master." I let a finger trace where I knew his anime tattoo was. "Daddy?"

Visibly, his sweats jumped when I said it, making my eyes shoot up to him, a demonic smile crossing my face.

"That's the one, isn't it?"

Sitting up quickly, he got in my face, his voice deadly serious.

"You know, you've asked me seven questions now. I think it's my turn."

I leaned back, moving to sit on my ass again, now under his heated stare. I just nodded.

"How long have you been thinking about me?"

My voice caught in my throat, confused. "W-What?"

He moved closer, looming over me. "How long has it been since you started picturing us together?"

I could feel his breath on my face, which made it impossible to construct a lie.

"Years."

"Have you ever thought of me when you were touching yourself?"

Oh God.

"Yes."

"Did you ever picture me, when you were with Vinny?"

It was suddenly really fucking hot out here.

"Yes."

His teeth flashed at me, ravenous.

"Do you want me to do all those things to you, that he never could?"

"Jesus Christ, Noah." It came out only as a breath.

"That's not an answer."

"Yes."

"Do you want me to lay you down right here? And eat your pussy until you're falling apart? Until you can't fucking remember how to breathe?"

Insert cause of death here.

"Y-Yes."

"You sure?" His lips were level with my ear now, voice so dangerously quiet.

"Yes," Finding the last of my spunk, I tilted my lips up, and let my eyes fell on him. "Daddy."

Somehow, I hadn't noticed that he had pulled his keys from his pocket, and suddenly, the hatch was closing. I only had a chance to look at it for a split second before I was being pushed onto my back, my sweats being pulled down off my hips. I giggled at the sudden change of energy, knowing I had flipped a switch in Noah. He leaned over me, suffocating me with a warm kiss, pressing himself down on my body.

He lifted off of me just enough to look me in the eyes. "You sure?"

He repeated his previous question, but this time with a touch less heat behind it. He was looking for permission.

Always the gentleman.

I brought my hands to either side of his face, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

"Noah," I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and smiled. "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you in this moment."

His cheeks warmed under my fingers, and he gave me the most terrifying smile I had ever seen.

His hand slipped down into my panties, fingers slipping lazily between my lips, and I wriggled, gripping his shirt.

"Oh." My voice stuttered, and he licked a stripe up the side of my neck.

"Don't worry, baby. I've got you." One finger circled around my clit, and I pressed my hips up for more contact. "You've got yourself so worked up already."

Breathing becoming more difficult, I let my eyes fall closed. His hand slipped away from me to pull my panties down to my thighs, and I felt his body weight move off of me.

I opened my eyes to see where he went, but almost fell unconscious at the sight of him perched between my legs, hands bracing my knees. Without warning, he lifted me, arching my back upwards to lift my core to his face.

His lips latched to my sweet spot, and my vision almost went white. "Fuck!" I screamed, but he just opened his eyes to look directly at me.

He flattened his tongue, pressing it to my pussy with long strokes, pulling moans out of me at a rhythmic pace. My hands scratched at the floor, trying to find anything to grab onto.

Finally settling on latching onto his arms, my nails dug into the back of his skin as he tormented me, face pressing further and further against my core. I let my fingernails rip down the skin on his forearms, panting and thrashing against him. He let out a deep, guttural grown in response.

"Noah, fucking hell. I'm going to come."

He pulled his face away, replacing it with his hand, pressing a finger inside me and pressing it into that spot that had me almost crying.

"Ask me nicely, baby."

"Noah, please. Please!" I was desperate to feel his mouth on me again, trying like hell to not buck too hard.

"Nope. You know what I need, pretty girl."

Confused, I wracked my melting brain for what he was looking for. His finger laid on a pressure that made stars fly in my field of view, making it hard to concentrate.

Until, I realized...

"Please, Daddy, I want to come. Please." I couldn't seem to get enough air into my lungs.

He smiled, looking inhuman. My head rolled back and forth, wild.

"Mm, no problem, baby." And he was back on me, the tip of his tongue drawing my climax closer. His finger still pressed into me, and I'm fairly certain a second slipped in at some point.

It was so much, it was so beautiful. I was going to actually explode.

"Ugh, Daddy. That's it. I need it. Fuck, please. Don't stop." At this point, I was just babbling. Whatever I could to ensure he didn't stop.

When his lips grabbed onto me, an impossible suction that had my head swirling, I felt the orgasm crash into me, a sharp scream escaping.

Carefully, he set me down, and his fingers slipped out. When I cracked my eyes open, I caught the slightest glimpse of him sucking them into his mouth. I had never seen anything so raunchy, and it made my muscles twitch, already wanting more.

He sat back against the hatch, chest rising heavily, and stared at me.

He was gauging, and I could tell. He wanted to ascertain whether I was about to regret what just happened.

He's insane if he thought I could ever regret that.

Noah looked wrecked. His sweats bulged violently, begging for relief. I sat up slowly, letting the blood flow come back to the rest of my body. Carefully, I sat up on all fours, and crawled toward him. He didn't say a word, just following me with his eyes.

"That was amazing." I smiled an appreciative grin, looking up at him through my lashes. "How could I ever show my gratitude?"

I could see he was stunned, so I took the initiative to reach for his pants, pulling them down in the front, letting his erection free to stare me in the face. Taking a few long seconds to appreciate it, I looked back up, eyes innocent.

"Would you like it if I choked on your cock, Daddy?"

His pupils were so dilated, I swore his eyes were completely black. He nodded slowly, reaching a hand up to run his thumb down my cheek, and hooking my chin, forcing my mouth open.

His other hand now grasping my hair, he pressed me down onto his dick, my mouth swallowing it down as far as I could before I felt my gag reflex hit. A harsh choke came out of me, and his hand loosened.

I just inhaled a breath and swallowed him down again, picking up a pace.

A long, sweet moan erupted from his chest, his head falling back as he watched me work.

"Jesus, Mona." His other hand gripped the side of my face, catching a tear rolling down my cheekbone. "So fucking beautiful."

I felt his cock hardening, knowing he wouldn't last long this way.

"You enjoy being obedient, don't you?"

I smiled around his cock, stopping to lick a long stripe down the length to his sack, catching some of the skin between my lips for a second.

"Ah, fuck." His mouth had fallen open, eyes rolling back. "Going to swallow my come, pretty girl? You're so fucking desperate for it."

His hand shoved me down onto his cock harder, pressing himself past my tonsils and straight into the back of my throat. I coughed harshly, but he didn't let up, head leaning back and eyes rolling with it.

"So close, baby. So fucking close."

With every ounce I had, I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him as if trying to drain his life force right out. His fingers tangled in my hair ripped at my scalp.

"Fuck, I'm-" But he was cut off by his own release, his chest tensing and hand holding me in place, head pressed firmly against my gag reflex, the come hot as it hit me. I relaxed, letting my muscles swallow it down without incident.

Noah's body slumped back, and his hand loosened. Fighting for breath, I leaned my face against his leg, just gathering my thoughts.

It took me a moment to notice he was running his fingers through my hair, smoothing the knots he had created. I hummed against him before sitting up, and letting my eyes search his face - exhausted.

He looked so pretty like this. His hair was sticking to his forehead from sweat, his veins in his neck slowly relaxing, and his arms loose and sprawled out.

He caught me staring, and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

I just smirked, shaking my head. "Nothin'."

After about thirty minutes of semi-awkward silence and cleaning up as best as we could in the back of a vehicle, Noah and I made our way back to his place. It was late, so we made every effort to be silent as we made our way up to his room. It wasn't until he was putting the key in the lock of his door that we heard the voice behind us.

"Use protection."

Folio's voice made us both freeze, and our eyes looked back to where his door was closing across the hall. An embarrassed smile flashed over my face, and he just chuckled quietly before pulling me into his room.

It was familiar. I had been here hundreds of times, so I made myself comfortable, dropping my bag on his computer desk and kicking my shoes off next to all of his pairs. When I turned around, Noah was sitting on the bed, hands on his knees, and a look I didn't recognize on his face.

Concern? No, fear? I wasn't sure.

"What's wrong?"

He was chewing on his bottom lip, and I walked over to him, slotting into the place between his legs. His eyes, so fucking big, so sparkly, stared up at me. They looked soft. Vulnerable.

"I like you, Mona."

It was a very regular statement. There wasn't a certain word or emphasis that made it special. But it was. Because now things had changed. Noah wasn't just Noah anymore. He was something different. And the words may have been ordinary, but they sounded as if they should've been spoken in a confessional.

It was warming, and they made me smile.

"I like you too, Noah."

His fingers came to grip my waist, squeezing me gently. "I've liked you a long time."

Nodding, I placed my hands on the tops of his shoulders. "Same."

He shrugged hard, looking up and down my being, working out what he wanted to say.

"I want you to be happy."

I was a little confused. "Okay?"

His fingers pressed in harder. "I want to make you happy."

Remember getting butterflies when you were little? When a rollercoaster dropped? Or a cute boy smiled at you?

"You do make me happy."

He moved his hands to grab my own, and held them between us. "I want to be with you, Mona."

It was silly, I'm sure, but I was fucking giddy. Internally I was kicking my feet and squealing like a mouse. Disgusting.

"Noah?" His eyes were fixed on me, so he just twitched his brow in response. "Are you saying..." I swallowed theatrically, feigning anxiety. "you want to go steady?"

The smile that flashed across his face was blinding, all thirty-two teeth flashing like a beacon. I giggled, unable to hold back after making such an idiotic joke. He just followed suit, pulling me into a hug, his face pressed into my chest.

My arms wrapped around his neck and I rested my cheek on the top of his head.

"You're so stupid." His voice came out muffled against my breasts.

My chest shook, now laughing harder. "You like me."

He pulled back, and his hand reached to pull me closer by the back of my neck, pressing his lips against me softly. When he pulled away, his words came out as the softest whisper.

"So much."

#bad omens #noah sebastian #fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #bad omens cult

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wordssricochet · 6 months ago

Text

💬 — Hello !! Just the usual reminders, I am still learning. Please do not expect my work to be perfect, English is not my first language. That is all, thank you.

⚠ — rejection, bullying, draco being stupid, hurtful words, mischaracterization of Blaise Zabini (I guess, we had to do it for the plot)

📝 — ♡ (fluff) + ☣︎ (angst)

#⃣ — 1270 words

📹 — based on the movie "Flipped" (one of my comfort movies)

_________________________________________________

Flipped | D. M |

by wordssricochet™

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Growing up as a troublemaker kid, you were always rejected for affection. Thus, anyone who would even look at your way would be bombarded with your attention and affection.

And that anyone, fortunately —for you— is Draco Malfoy.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

"Heart eyes again, yeah, Y/N? " Fred Weasley —your best friend's brother who is also your best friend— elbows you.

"I honestly don't get what you see in that blondie, " George adds, "I mean, he's.. good looking and all, but his personality? Askaban! "

You simply just roll your eyes at the twins, focusing your attention again on Draco. Or Dray-Dray, as you nicknamed him (He never liked it, and would glance at you with a disgusted look. You loved his face though.)

A few minutes passed by and the boy and his gang of Slytherin friends leave for their classes. Now, you were left wondering about what Draco's type is. It just suddenly came up in your mind! But what is his type? Is it like you? Or is his type those pureblood girls that bullies first years? Hopefully not, hopefully not Pansy Parkinson.

"I wonder if his type is even closer to me.. you know, a fun but serious girl? " You questioned yourself.

"Oy, don't flatter yourself, Y/N. Since when were you serious? " Ron snickers, followed by Hermione hitting his arms.

"But seriously, Y/N, why him? I mean, there's Cedric-", " Too old for me" You interrupted Hermione.

"Okay.. what about Longbottom? He's a nice guy. " She gives you a warm look.

You almost wanted to cackle at Hermione's suggestion, "Seriously, Hermione? Neville is the complete opposite of Dray-Dray. "

"And that's exactly why I wanted you to give him a try, plus, the Yule Ball is in 2 weeks already, " She plastered a smirk on her face, "Let's be real, Y/N, You have no chance with Malfoy.

"I'm aware.. but still! " You insist.

Hermione gave a long sigh, "Do what you want then. But remember, I warned you! " She glances at you with a worried look.

"I'll be fine. "

Your classes for today ended and you went straight to Fred and George.

"Okay.. How do I look? " You fixed your hair. You put a clip on it and put the remaining hair behind your ears.

"Stunning", " Gorgeous" , the twins replied at the same time.

"You got this, Y/N! Plus, if ever that Malfoy prick rejects you, I'll go with you at the Yule Ball. " George says with a reassuring smile.

"Now, off you go! " Fred says, as he gives your back a soft tap.

"Dray- Draco, can we talk? " You ask while fiddling your fingers. It's been at least 5 years since you guys last talked, since his father found out about your friendship.

Draco and his friends glanced at each other, a smirk coming up on all their faces.

"Sure, what is it that you want to talk about? "

"Can we please talk in private? "

".. fine. "

"So, what is it? " Draco started, looking down at your rather smaller figure.

"Um, look, I've been meaning to tell you this since we were kids, " You gave a short inhale,

"Malfoy, I really like you. You were the first person to ever look at me like I'm a normal person, and not some nuisance to society. I've liked you since the day that I met you, the day that we met by the sea shore when you were taking a rest because of all the moving houses thing going on. I really appreciate your kindness toward me.. Well, towards me in the past. I hope that we can be friends again, or even more than that. So Dray-Dray, will you please go to Yule Ball with me? " You let out a long exhale as you said all those words in a span of 30 seconds.

"How pathetic can you be, Y/L/N? " He lets out a chuckle, "For Merlin's sake, are you even capable of being embarrassed? You're honestly the most annoying person I've ever known in my whole life! Since the day that.. "

You couldn't even hear what Draco was saying anymore, you just stood there, your ears ringing. Your vision started to blur. Your body can't physically move at this moment, like you've been paralyzed. After what seemed like an eternity (which is just 3 minutes for Draco), you finally gained consciousness.

"- I feel disgusted and offended that you can even think about being with me, hell, being friends with m-" You cut him off by saying sorry and ran away, just like you did when all those kids from your childhood bullied you.

It all started coming back to you, and you hated Draco for being the reason why.

You headed straight back to your house's common room and straight to your dorm. You ignored all your housemates asking if you were okay.

You flopped on your bed, head onto the pillow. You started letting all your emotions drain you.

These past few days, you started ignoring Draco more and more. You flooded yourself with academics and friends, specifically George Weasley.

You never stare at him in classes anymore, not even in the Great Hall. You started avoiding him at all costs. You couldn't even handle being in the same hallway as him. It makes you teary eyed whenever you remember the things he said to you.

Of course, Draco Malfoy had noticed the drastic change in your demeanor, too. He no longer had this Gryffindor stalking him around. He no longer had this girl that would send him chocolate frogs whenever she goes to Hogsmeade.

He should be glad, that's what Pansy tells him.

"Well, well, well, congratulations, Malfoy. You no longer had an obsessive stalker that would smell your hair whenever she's beside you in charms class! " Blaise Zabini chuckles, as he claps his hands together.

"Mission successful, I guess, huh? " Theodore Nott added.

Draco stayed silent, not answering any remarks, not looking at anyone.

"Anyway, Draco, would you mind going to the Yule Ball with me? " Pansy asks with hope in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Draco was dying inside at the faint mention of the Yule Ball. He remembered what he had said, and what he had lost.

Draco suddenly stood up from the couch of the common room and left the room before anyone could even ask what's going on.

"'m going to make things right, " Draco muttered to himself as he looks for you. Little did he know that Blaise was following him.

"Dude! Malfoy! Wait up! " Zabini yells as he grabs his best friend's arm, "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? Pansy Parkinson, the finest Slytherin, just asked you if you wanted to go the ball with her. And you're here, bailing? Completely ignoring her? " Blaise yells, trying to put some sense into his friend.

"I already have someone I'm going with. "

"Who? Astoria Greengrass? Merula Synde?"

"None of those, idiot! "

"Who then? Y/N Y/L/N?"

Draco went silent at the mere mention of your name. Blaise looked discombobulated.

"What the hell, man? You're bailing Pansy Parkinson for Y/N Y/L/N? Are you insane?! "

"I don't know anymore, Zabini! I-I don't know what I'm feeling! "

"Are you really that bloody stupid, mate? You rejected her! Countless of times! We even laughed at her silly love letters together with Nott! "

"They were not silly, Zabini, you just.. don't understand. "

"Oh, I don't understand, alright! You hate her, Y/N, since the first year! "

"That's the thing, Zabini, I don't think I hate her now. "

"You've gone mental, man! I'm telling you! Have you flipped?! "

"Trust me, Blaise, I have no idea. "

💬 — hi !! OM GOSH, idk how to end this!! but i'm thinking either angst or fluff.. i still haven't planned. although, i finally found the perfect schedule when dropping fics (not like anyone cares); sundays in philippine time. anyway! i MIGHT make a masterlist now (with 2 fics in them lmao)

Sincerely, March.

#draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy x reader #weasley twins x reader #harry potter #fanfic #please support #support me please #draco malfoy x reader angst #angst #flipped

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libraryofgage · 6 months ago

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Life in Miniature (Two)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

So, I'm not dead, despite any suspicions otherwise lmao; life just got a little wild and I needed a tiny break from writing, but hopefully I'll be back! We'll see! I'm literally on my knees begging my brain so maybe it'll stick lmao

Anyway, this part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi! If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here

Also also! I actually commissioned a wonderful friend of mine (@gamanyne) to draw Emperor Steve! She also did my current header and icon, so you know her art is fucking peak. Anyway, it'll be attached at the bottom of the fic so have fun getting there

And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

----

"Heard the guard mention you've got some new blood in your display, Ocky."

Octavius glanced over as Jedediah sauntered through the hidden tunnel that connects their displays. It had been built during their admittedly embarrassing courtship, a gift from that time's night guard.

He'd been waiting for exactly this moment, and some of his nervous energy drained when Jedediah stood close enough for their shoulders to brush. He turned to face Jedediah, staying close so he can keep his voice quiet. "Yes, a new battalion and..."

"And?"

"A young emperor."

Jedediah whistled lowly, eyebrows rising as he looked over Octavius's shoulder at the buildings across the display. It was all pillars and domes and aged marble, but newly added splashes of color could be spotted here and there. "He a brat?" Jedediah asked.

"He is my sovereign!"

"Yeah, sure," Jedediah said, shrugging as he met Octavius's eyes, "but is he a brat?"

Octavius felt indignation rise in his chest but quickly subdued it. He knew Jedediah meant well. And then he saw the smirk on Jedediah's face. "Lover or not, I can not tolerate insults to the emperor," he said.

Jedediah hummed and held his hands up in surrender. "Still ain't answered my question, Ocky."

"I don't know!" Octavius finally exclaimed, looking away when Jedediah blinked at his outburst. "Admittedly, I was more focused on seeing you than meeting him."

"Gee, almost sounds like you've got a crush on me, Ocky. That's kinda embarrassing, don't you think?"

"We have done things that would make satyrs blush, Jedediah. Are we not past embarrassment?"

"Still embarrassing," Jedediah said, grinning wider when Octavius finally looked back at him. "Don't worry, Ocky. He's just a kid. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Child emperors do not have the most...positive reputation," Octavius said. He frowned, looking away as Jedediah glanced over his shoulder again. "Many are spoiled and unaware of how politics should be conducted."

"Ocky...," Jedediah whispered, reaching out to tug on Octavius's cape.

Octavius smiled, appreciating the comforting gesture. "Short tempers are also common, and I worry about any palace staff that anger him. They are just as likely to have their head cut off as they are to walk away."

"Uh, Ocky," Jedediah said, tugging on the cape again.

"And perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, but I don't look forward to measures that may need to be taken if my soldiers are terrorized by a, well, as you put it, love, a brat."

"Ocky!" Jedediah shouted, grabbing Octavius's shoulders and spinning him around.

"Ah," Octavius said, a cold sweat covering him at the sight of the young emperor staring at them. Strands of brown hair fell over the golden laurels at his temples to curl around equally brown eyes. He's taller than Octavius expected, nearly reaching his own height, and older, too. He was, perhaps, around 20, meaning he had several years' experience as emperor.

Above all, though, Octavius managed to see the brief flash of...insecurity? Perhaps it was self-directed disappointment and acceptance? Whatever it was, it vanished the next moment as the young emperor pressed his lips into a thin line, rolled his shoulders back, and said, "General Octavius."

Hearing the young emperor's voice finally freed Octavius from his frozen shock. He cleared his throat, placed a fist over his heart, and bowed to the emperor. "Your Majesty," he said, "What can I do for you?"

"You can raise your head," the young emperor said. When Octavius did, he saw tensed shoulders, and he was briefly overcome by the thought that someone so young should not, in fact, look as if they carry the weight of the world. "I intended to have you introduce me to the soldiers, but I see that you're busy."

Octavius cleared his throat and stepped aside so Jedediah was easier to see. He then placed a hand on Jedediah's shoulder and said, "My liege, this is Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and my close companion."

"Woah, woah, cowboy king?" Jedediah whispered, glancing at Octavius like he might be crazy.

"Ah, I see," the young emperor replied, nodding respectfully to Jedediah. ""I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods. I look forward to making your acquaintance at a later date."

"Uh, yeah, acquaintance making and stuff," Jedediah said, nodding back with a strained smile. "I'll be sure to pencil ya in."

"Yes, well," the young emperor replied, his jaw ticking slightly like he wanted to say something but held himself back. "Until then."

Octavius watched as he turned on his heel and walked back to the palace. It wasn't until the emperor was halfway there that Jedediah leaned closer and asked, "He seem a little off to you?"

"Yes, a little."

------------

Steve glances at Eddie, both to make sure he isn't about to fall off Rexy and just because he wants to. Eddie's hair is a little frizzy and his cheeks are flushed, but Steve assumes that's just from performing in front of such a large crowd earlier.

"So, you are a performer," he says as Rexy makes his way to the stairs. "Who did you apprentice under?"

"I didn't," Eddie replies, frowning slightly. "I mean, I just taught myself. Like, with YouTube and stuff."

"Oh! Yes, YouTube, I have seen many cat videos with Robin. I was unaware there were other kinds of videos available."

Eddie snorts, and Steve thinks it's a surprisingly endearing sound. "Yeah, definitely more than cat videos, Stevie," he says, drumming his fingers along Rexy's skull before asking, "So, uh, you're an emperor...does that mean there's an empress?"

"No," Steve says, glancing away and returning Attila the Hun's wave when they pass him. "I should have, but it just never happened."

"Why not? Is it okay to ask?"

"I don't mind. It was naive and bullheaded of me, but I wanted an empress I actually liked."

"Nothing wrong with wanting love, sweetheart," Eddie says, bumping their shoulders together.

"I agree."

Silence settles over them, and Steve wonders if feeling this awkward is normal. He's never had a problem keeping a conversation going with Robin, and his fathers are plenty good at bantering. But here, he's not sure how to proceed. Robin once told him that he can come off as arrogant, someone others don't want to be around, and he's trying to not do that with Eddie.

He thinks Eddie is handsome. If Steve could only convince him, he's sure a chest-plate and shield would make Eddie look particularly dashing. Steve also likes the way Eddie looks at him. It's not quite the devotion he's seen from people under his rule; Eddie's gaze is far more heated than that, making Steve's skin prickle wherever it lands.

"Hey," Eddie says, pulling Steve out of his thoughts, "how's all this coming to life stuff really work? It's not actually that tablet thing, right?"

"It is," Steve replies, nodding once. "Ahkmenrah's tablet was a gift from his parents, who wanted their family to stay together even in death. It harnesses the power of noble Luna and the stars that surround her to breathe life into everyone here. Without his presence, you and I wouldn't be talking right now."

"That's....kind of crazy," Eddie says, trying to wrap his brain around it. "I mean, magic?"

"How else might we be alive right now? According to Robin, you and I are but plastic, perhaps wax or wood depending on our manufacturer."

"But I don't feel like plastic or whatever," Eddie replies, poking at his own arm before poking at Steve's as well. "Neither do you. You feel, like, warm and alive."

"Yes, because of the tablet's magic. Would you like to see it? Ahkmenrah is very understanding of new exhibits that wish to look upon it."

Eddie looks like he's about to nod when he suddenly stops and tilts his head. Steve looks in the direction his gaze has gone and smiles when he sees the temporary exhibit about the history of party fashion. It's only in the museum for a few more days, and the people inside have been partying even harder in the face of their fleeting mortality.

Steve assumes Eddie's attention was attracted by the music, so he looks back and asks, "Would you like to join them?"

"Aren't we, uh, a little small for that?" Eddie asks.

Steve grins as he knocks on Rexy's skull twice. The dinosaur comes to a sliding halt outside the exhibit and lowers its head until its jaw is touching the ground. "Do you trust me?" Steve asks, standing and offering his hand to Eddie.

"Uh, yeah, I think," he says, taking Steve's hand.

His grin widening, Steve tugs Eddie to his feet and then leads him carefully down Rexy's skull. When they reach its snout, they're still a few feet off the ground. "Please don't say I have to make that jump," Eddie says, frowning at the distance.

"Don't worry," Steve says, letting go of Eddie's hand in favor of simply picking him up instead. "You're not the one jumping."

Eddie's eyes are wide as he clings to Steve's neck, glancing between the floor and Steve like he might be insane. Steve flashes a bright, reassuring smile before walking to the edge of Rexy's snout and simply jumping down.

"Holy shit!" Eddie shouts, holding onto Steve tighter and flinching when he feels the jolt of Steve landing. "You're crazy. How are your legs not broken?"

"I am the son of a god," Steve says, carefully placing Eddie on his feet once more. "A mere jump wouldn't harm me."

Eddie is quiet for a few moments, his face red as he looks at the entrance to the exhibit. He takes a deep breath, nods once, and says, "Man, they'd better have tequila in there."

----------

Tag List (if you'd like to be added, please let me know!)

@itsall-taken, @acaademicqueer, @mx-jinxous, @y4r3luv, @daydreaming-mood, @just-a-tiny-void, @villainousalair,

So, as promised, here is the art I commissioned from my wonderful friend @gamanyne of Steve in his Roman outfit!

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve deserves good parents actually #life in miniature #night at the museum #jedtavius #natm jedediah #natm octavius #my writing #the way i've stared at the art for literal hours tho hfdjks #it's just so good #i wanna cry lmao

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