#when he walked in and immediately said the beds were a trap i was sooooo disappointed

[hrrystylesbookclub]

rip percy beheading crusty, abandoned by the show but never forgetten

[aetheternity]

Hard Pass P5 (Levi x reader)

Synopsis: Levi is forced out of his comfy dorm room and in a strange twist of events right into your arms at a college party.

Levi hadn't remembered a time since he'd began college in which he'd been alone for several hours with zero interruptions. And yet here he'd been slaving over the hot stove in his room since about 10 am and.. nothing.

The weird peace of not being interrupted by Mike's loud greetings coupled with some girl he'd brought back with him. No Hange to talk his ear off about some nonsense and no Erwin and his inability to use his newest pair of bluetooth headphones. It was as sad as it was beautiful.

He'd been trapped deep within his thoughts for so long that he almost missed the barely audible knock at the door.

"..Levi?" Came a distant and unsure sounding voice.

Y/N..

He set the bowl of beef stew he'd prepared down on the table, untying his apron and setting it to the side before carefully walking to the door and opening it slowly. There Y/N stood. Her face flushed like she'd been standing in the freezing cold too long, her eyes red as she looked to Levi.

"Sorry.. I smelled food and.." She wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. "I didn't mean to invite myself."

Levi shook his head. "Come in." He gestured randomly wanting to hit himself in the forehead for his awkwardness but Y/N didn't seem to notice.

Once she'd entered he shut the door behind her, pointing her to the table. "You can have that bowl. It's fresh off the stove." He walked back to the kitchen handing Y/N a spoon from the pack Erwin had given him earlier this morning. He quickly picked out one for himself grabbing a new bowl in the process.

"I-I don't wanna impose.." She tried

Levi frowned as he made himselfa new bowl of stew, "I'm giving it to you, I made too much and Hange and Erwin haven't stopped by all day."

She sat at the table looking dazily at the bowl in front of her. "Thanks Levi.." She muttered, dipping her spoon into the contents with hesitation.

Levi had just as soon fixed himself a new bowl seating himself across from Y/N. Her eyes glistened and she stared into the bowl for almost too long before giving it a taste. Her lips upturning and Levi extinguished a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Levi, this is really good." She gave a polite smile.

Levi's eyes widened and his face started to heat. "Th-thank you.."

When she looked away again his eyes trailed back to her. Her eyes were so puffy, her lips bruised a bit as if she'd been biting them. Should he ask? Could he ask? What the hell had happened to her? He needed to know but..

Levi felt his heart scatter over his rib cage and hit the floor and her eyes landed on him again.

"You haven't touched yours.." She remarked

"I-I.."

She dropped the spoon suddenly, placing both hands on her face. "I'm so sorry Levi.." it was muffled.

As much as he really wanted to say literally anything in this moment to further progress the situation into some kind of revelation about her face nothing came to mind. Well.. except the awkward popping of his lips as he opened and closed his mouth to say absolutely nothing.

"No I mean-" She began again to Levi's own slight comfort. "I just.. came here to get away from Jean.. because he's been, just the worst. And I just hate him right now.. I needed to get away and the first person I thought to come to was you."

Levi must have looked surprised because she was quickly shaking her head so fast. "Please know that I don't plan to use you as a sort of scapegoat or something! No! That's not what I want I just.. you make me-" She giggled and Levi could swear her cheeks grew slightly pinker! Or he was imagining he.. could he be??

"Just.. I'm glad you're here." She shrugged quickly, shoveling a mouthful of beef stew down.

"Y-yeah.. yeah. I am.. what happened? I-I mean if you actually wanna say.."

She shook her head and Levi felt his grip on his spoon get sooooo much tighter. "He's just such a jerk.." She shook her head harder as if she was trying to rid her brain of the thought. "He got all weird last night, started a fight with me in front of Connie and Sasha. Sasha tried to break it up and Connie just sat on the floor with his phone tucked between his feet."

Levi stared into his beef stew wanting so badly to say literally anything helpful but words really were failing him today. He soon opted for nodding his head and biting the tip of his spoon.

"None of us got any sleep last night." She continued "I had to get out of there this morning."

A fight huh? Levi already felt as though he knew exactly what it was about. He pushed his elbows onto the table, seeing the remnants of tears starting to refill Y/N's eyes.

"Sleep here.." Levi tried awkwardly

It got her attention though. Had her looking up from her bowl with confusion spread over her innocent features. "Huh?"

Levi exhaled slowly, putting the words together in his head as best as possible. "You need rest. Sleep in my bed for a couple hours."

Y/N practically choked. "I-I can't.."

"2 hours?? I'll wake you up then.."

She looked to Levi then over to his bed with a contemplative sigh. "I-I'll be in the kitchen otherwise.." Levi muttered as a final push.

Eventually a full smile appeared on her lips. "I can't thank you enough Levi. You're so sweet." She stood and Levi's breath caught in his throat as her arms wrapped around his shoulders and then.. her lips were coming down on top of his head.

He felt as though his skin was melting off when she pulled back. "I promise I won't overstay my welcome though. You can kick me out if you think I am."

"I won't" he thought as he stared at her from his seat.

Her boots hit the floor with a soft thunk soon followed by her sweater inching off beautiful shoulders, down her arms and.. Levi looked away but then his curiosity caught him again and he was watching her fold the item and place it on the edge of the bed.

Just relax

It wasn't like he'd never seen a girl take her clothes off. Though maybe Hange didn't quite fit that bill now that he really thought about it. With a soft exhale he felt the tension from his shoulders slowly give and his mind was back on the cooling beef stew in front of him.

He shifted the beef chunks around before taking a cautious bite. Swallowing it down with ease. He'd always loved making this dish, it reminded him of his mom and he'd always pictured her smile when he ate it. But for whatever reason right now he wasn't even slightly focused on the warm meal.

He heard a loud shift across the room, which was probably the third one in a row. And he looked up to hear his name being called. Her voice was so soft, so tender he felt like he'd misheard.

"Come here." She said with an outstretched hand. "Please?"

Levi stood from his spot at the table, pushing the chair in and heading over to her. When he stood in front of her he could see a barely there smile on her face and she blinked up at him before beckoning for him to sit by her legs.

Despite the part of him that was slightly uneasy over being that close he took the spot, boring deep holes into the smooth hard wood.

A couple seconds passed with neither of them saying a word. Then a minute of pure silence flooded the room with uncomfortable reality.

"I hate myself for thinking this way honestly.." She began and Levi twitched. "But I kinda wish I had never dated Jean."

Levi blinked then stole a glance at her. She was staring back and her fingers were intertwined on her stomach.

"I mean.. uggh he's so sweet. Not you sweet but caring and kind and I love that about him. I love him I just.." She let out a harsh breath, sitting up and to Levi's own shock wrapped both arms around his midsection. "I hate him too." She whispered into Levi's neck but he wasn't even registering the words, more focused on trying to breathe.

"Are you ok with this?" She exhaled into his collar.

Levi's fingers dug into the soft bedding, toes curled in his boots, eyes shut tight. He slowly nodded trying his best not to look the way he felt.

"Nooo ok I don't hate him. I hate things about him." She continued "That's normal right? Everyone hates things about people they love."

"Y-yeah." Levi shifted squeezing his legs closer together.

Y/N didn't seem to notice though as she droned on. "How many things though-"

Her hand was moving over his chest. Whether she knew it or not it was slowly cresting over his stomach. Then back up toward his bashing heartbeat. Her leg unabashedly rubbing almost roughly against his.

"Because I hate his attitude and his possessiveness.. but Levi. He was my first serious relationship I can't imagine my life without him.."

Levi's heart dunked. It felt as though it was flopping its way into his small intestine. He peered over at her face where she was rubbing her chin in the crook of his shoulder.

"Why can't it just be simple?"

Levi exhaled, noting how her eyes fluttered when he did so. The way his breath smoothed over her cheeks. And warm scent of her own breath. "I know.. nothing about stuff like this.." He answered honestly

Her body heat pressed slightly firmer into him. "If you did.. would you be simple?" She muttered, pressing her chin back into his collarbone.

"Maybe.."

Why was she so ok with being this close while Levi was practically unconscious inside? She leaned her head against him like she'd done it so many times before. Stared into his eyes and touched his chest.

Her finger came up and he blinked rapidly as she plucked his hair back away from his face. "Well would you love your girlfriend?"

"Y-yes."

"Would you always respect her boundaries?"

"Yeah."

"Would you cling to her? Whine anytime she even breathes around another guy?"

"I.. It might be hard not to immediately be jealous.. but I'd want her to know I trust her."

If it were possible to drown in someone's eyes Levi was doing it right now. For once he knew that what he was seeing wasn't his imagination, her eyes flicking from his own eyes to his lips and back up again.

"You're partially there then." She replied, completely making eye contact again.

"Are you dating Jean again?" Levi asked before his brain had even caught up. "I know Hange said you two might get back together."

She backed away, flopping backwards on the bed. Though her leg remained nuzzled against his. Every bit of his body was screaming for her warmth to return.

She sat herself up on her elbows. "He acts like we are but we aren't."

"What about that kiss?" If he could stop himself from talking he damn sure would.

"Kiss?"

"O-on the balcony.. near the stairs."

Her hands flew to her face. "You say that? Oh god.." He winced as she spoke. "No, Levi.. I'm not.. I mean listen.. He caught me off guard, I wasn't expecting him to do that."

Levi just nodded along.

"I just wish everything was simple.. I wish being with Jean was like being with-"

The pink in her cheeks was unmistakable now. So so very unmistakable. And Levi's heart was definitely almost out of his chest with just how hard and how fast it was beating.

Suddenly every bit of her warmth was disengaging with him. Her legs coming up to curl on the bed as she shifted into a fetal position. Her arm reaching up to yank a pillow over her head. She let out a harsh laugh that made Levi inch away a little.

"Ok! I'm gonna sleep now!" She continued to giggle and Levi took this opportunity to practically yank himself off the bed, heading back to his abandoned bowl of stew.

Though there was definitely no way he was going to eat it now.

~~~~

A barrage of hard knocks sounded that could definitely only be Hange and Levi yanked the door open to allow her and Erwin to assess his room like they were cops.

"She's in here!" Erwin whisper-yelled pointing towards Y/N still curled up now sleeping peacefully with a blanket Levi had put over her.

"You sly dog!" Hange said a bit too loud.

"Shut up."

"Uh?" Erwin gestured

Levi rolled his eyes. "She came to me talking about Jean." He grunted at the mention. "We talked then she fell asleep in my bed."

"And you didn't.." Hange gestured with her hips quickly getting a smack to the shoulder from Erwin.

"Fucking idiot." Levi said with a sigh. "How did you both find out she was here?"

"Connie and Sasha said they couldn't find her and that Jean drove off hours ago and probably wasn't gonna return till later today."

Levi shouldn't have but a sort of pleasant flutter rose in his chest. He almost let his lips upturn catching it way before Erwin and Hange could see.

"Ok.. but why your bed of all places?" Erwin continued to pry.

"She was really tired from last night."

"Yeah she was." Hange guffawed, gestured again getting yet another slap from Erwin. This time she reached out for her shoulder with a wince.

"It wasn't a fun kind of 'last night' Hange." Erwin remarked "So what about this?"

"What about it?"

"Make your move already." He replied

Levi groaned rolling his eyes. "Her heart might only be set on Jean."

"Says the guy who currently has her in his bed." Hange states with a sigh.

Y/N jerked awake when the sound of more loud knocking erupted at Levi's door. Hange quickly moved before anyone else could opening it for a flustered and sleep deprived looking Connie and Sasha.

"Hey!" Sasha called racing across the room.

Hange reached out for Connie's shoulder. "Where does Jean plan on sleeping tonight when he comes back?"

Connie turned. "In our room. We're not all sharing one room but I doubt Y/N's gonna let us hang out for a while."

Once Connie had left earshot Hange turned to Levi with a gigantic smile.

"Shut up already."

"At this point we might as well say nothing Hange." Erwin shrugged with a shake of his head.

Connie sat on the edge of the bed, leaning on Sasha's shoulder as she spoke. "Why'd you come here? Jean left hours ago you could've just slept in your own bed."

"I didn't feel comfortable sleeping in my bed.." She replied, pulling her legs into her chest.

"Just come back tonight. Knowing Jean he'll go to sleep as soon as he gets back to the lodge." Connie replied

"Has he texted you?" Y/N questioned

"No."

"He's driving and he never texts while he's driving."

Y/N nodded feeling a mild pang in her chest as she leaned back on her palms. She slowly blinked the sleep from her eyes with a tiny yawn. Her eyelids soon fluttering open again instantly making contact with Levi who seemed to relax at her soft gaze. She tilted her head with a little smile in his direction.

"Or, maybe you should stay here." Sasha smirked

Y/N snapped her head towards her best friend. "Huh?!"

"What?" Connie blinked at the two girls. Sasha who was now giggling and Y/N who flopped back against the mattress covering her face with both hands.

~~~~

Day seven

"Aren't you bored?"

"No."

"Cold?"

"Extremely.."

"Then why don't you ski with us instead of reading all those boring books?! Can you even properly turn the pages with gloves on?"

"Please go away.."

Levi huffed as Hange kicked her feet back and forth slightly shaking the bench. The sun was slowly starting to diminish for the day and Levi wanted nothing more than to finish this chapter at least. "I'm just keeping you company.. you look lonelier than usual."

"Isn't Moblit skiing today? On his only off day?"

She stared up at the sky, pondering this for a second "Bye Levi!" She said sprinting off.

Levi breathed a sigh of relief, flipping the pages of his book back to where he'd been reading. Easily deemed more difficult with the wool of his dark red gloves.

"Whatcha reading?" The irritating plop of someone seating themselves next to him made him outwardly grit his teeth and he whipped his head over only to completely lose the malice boiling up toward the surface.

She giggled flipping the book in his hand, careful not to lose the page as she did so. "Don't get me wrong Levi." She began, fiddling with her skis. "I know you love books but don't you wanna go skiing at least once while you're up here?"

Levi flipped the book close shaking his head. "Never done it and I'm cold enough sitting here."

She sighed loudly with a little giggle. "I could always teach you." When Levi didn't respond for a few seconds Y/N placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall." She winked standing and putting her hand out.

Erwin's advice from their first day here quickly flooded his memory. He stared at her hand with slight confusion and she must have picked up on it cause she retracted it.

"I figured you'd take it." She waved absently with a wild shake of her head. "Come on! One hour. I promise I'll leave you to your books if you hate it."

A bit more contemplation and he nodded. He looked to her as he stood. "So.." He tried

"So?"

"I-"

"Skis! You need skis." She replied awkwardly, pressing her gloved hand against the bridge of her nose. "Sorry.." She grumbled in defeat.

As soon as they'd touched the first bit of fresh powder Levi knew he shouldn't have agreed to this. He flopped around in these awful contraptions before hitting the snow right on his ass. While Y/N tried and failed to surpress a giggle.

"Are you ok?" She heaved, putting both her hands out for him.

This time Levi took them brushing the cold off his backside. "Just fine." He grunted

"You're a beginner so it's ok to struggle." She replied "Maybe you should hold on to me.. you know to be safe.."

When Levi took her arm he felt a burst of currents flowing through every inch of him. Almost too happy for such a normal touch. His foot slipped again and he was quickly glad for her hand that came to steady him.

"Just move with me ok. Skis connecting to stop and spread apart to go." His fingers dug into her jacket and she smiled to him. "Don't be scared ok. I'm gonna do this with you."

"Tch, I'm not scared.."

"Oh? Then I'll bet you'll ace this right off the bat and leave me in the dust."

It was safe to say Levi hated this immediately. The skis slid quickly and the hill they were on only propelled it further. He quickly connected the skis stopping just behind Y/N who'd slipped from his grasp and slowed to a halt turning to look back at him.

"One more time ok?"

He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Cheeks puffed out as he looked at her.

"Please? I'll let you go back to your book after you destroy this hill." She giggled, outstreching her arm.

His gaze softened and he reached a slightly shaky hand out to her. The occasional person raced past them but Y/N kept her gaze on Levi steadily holding his wrist where he was practically jabbing her coat with his fingernails through his gloves.

"That's it." She cooed "You're doing good, not too fast ok."

"Mm." He held her just a little tighter feeling his stomach slowly uncoil.

Without really meaning to he felt the skis slowly start to spread apart and the once really easy, gentle pace quickly became much faster.

"Levi slow down a little.." She warned

He pulled his feet in only to have them slip beneath him at the much quicker speed they were going. He hit the ground hard but didn't stop, dragging Y/N down in his grip. She screamed out Levi's name or so he might have heard but they were practically flying down at this point.

Snow fluttering around them with each tumble and roll. Levi ended up on his back and one of his skis flew off as he grappled around still tumbling with Y/N just behind him. He gasped in air as it flew from his body, coughing and wincing as they continued to fall.

He grunted, reaching out for her with one arm which quickly grabbed her leg to keep her close to him. They hit a snow bank and Levi was quickly recovering his sight just before they both grinded to a halt hitting the bottom of a tree stopping their tumbling.

Y/N was the first to try to sit up instantly crying out. "Ah ah!" She cried "L-Levi.." Came her pained whimpers as she clutched her ankle.

"Your.." He struggled trying his best to properly roll over to her side.

"Levi, I don't think I can get up." She said "You need to go get help.. it's getting dark."

"I can't leave you here.."

"Did you bring your phone?" She tried, blinking over at him.

"No."

"Then you have to go get help while you can still make it."

Levi gritted his teeth but used the tree they were currently resting on to pull his weight up. Helping Y/N to lay her back against the bark. "Which way is it?" He looked down at his feet, wiggling both now skiless shoes around.

When she didn't answer he turned to look at her. Eyes wide as he gazed at her snow covered hair and cheeks. "I-I don't know.."

(Hey Siri, play Ho Hey by The Lumineers)

[strawbunniiee]

A Girl and a Ghost Ch. 3: The King’s Revenge

SOOOOO this is the part where the plot thickens :)

if anybody else wants me to tag them in these chapters so you know when they come out i will gladly do so andksnkfs

hope you enjoy! ive had tons of fun with writing these :D

dont mind me, just lettin my frendos know that this is a thing skfnkdjf

@salamifuposey @monsterbride99 aaAAA when i initially posted this i COMPLETELY forgot to do this a a a a a sorry

King Boo was furious.

How could that peasant, that foul impure abomination of a Boo do this to his beloved crown? It contained his power, it was so incredibly important to him...

And that filthy little purple haired brat! How could she so carelessly throw a rock at him like that?

He plopped his body down in a chair and marinated in his own rage for a few minutes.

After a few moments of enraged silence, he spoke.

"...I have got to get my revenge on those two. But... how will I do it?"

King Boo began to brainstorm a way to get the ghost Rabbid and his little idiot friend in hot water.

"Torture? No, no... one of them is a ghost. It wouldn't hurt him... Torture could be done with the little nuisance however. Perhaps a bit of childhood trauma will teach her not to mess with the wrong people." he thought aloud.

He spent almost fifteen whole minutes thinking of gruesome ways to get back at them, until it finally struck him.

"...Oooh, I know. I know exactly what to do now. It'll mostly affect that bloated rabbit, but I can still do some damage to his moronic pipsqueak pal."

He grinned maliciously and floated towards the doors of his manor.

"I'm about to open up some old wounds of yours, Tommy." he said to himself.

———

Meanwhile, Phantom was racing through the sky with Jawaii in his arms, panicking. He would never let King Boo lay his foul hands on her.

They were both absolutely dead silent the whole time until Jawaii opened her mouth.

"...Do you know that guy?"

Phantom halted for a moment and looked down at the young alien he held. "...Yes, I do, but I don't think I would like to go into detail at the moment. We have a very... rough history, I will say."

"Oh... I get it. It's okay, I won't pry. I understand." Jawaii said.

"Just remember that if King Boo ever tries to hurt us, I'll make sure he will regret it for the rest of his days." promised the Rabbid ghost. "I swear on it."

Phantom resumed his flight and soared down to the ground safely. He gently set her down in the grass.

"That was actually really fun! We should do that again sometime! ...without being scared off by an evil ghost, obviously. That would just make it less fun." said Jawaii.

"I'm glad you were entertained, I suppose... King Boo is quite intimidating. And rude." said Phantom.

Jawaii put her hands on her hips. "Well, yeah! I mean, he made fun of your weight! No friend of mine is getting made fun of like that!"

Phantom laughed a bit. "Oh, don't worry, I wasn't that harmed by that statement. I er, get that all the time."

She frowned. "Why do people tease you about that, that's dumb! Besides, I think you're perfect just the way you are!" She gave him a hug.

He hugged back and smiled. "Awww... thank you. I was born like this, I can't help it you see."

"You're a giant fluffy singing ghost bunny with a mustache, I have no idea how anybody could hate THAT! Cuz I don't."

"Oh, don't make me blush from all of these compliments!" said Phantom, smiling.

Jawaii jokingly grinned evilly. "Never. I'm gonna shower you in compliments 'til you DROWN!"

She cackled maniacally as she began relentlessly saying nice things about him with Phantom begging her to stop. Soon, it became a full-on flattery war to see who could out-compliment the other. They had a grand old time.

Eventually, the sun began to set.

"Oh yikes, I better get home. I had no idea we stayed out here for so long! Mom is probably having a heart attack as we speak!" said Jawaii.

Phantom was quite alarmed, his ears sprung up in worry and concern. "She's having a what?! Oh, poor child, I hope your mother is all right..."

She burst out laughing hysterically.

"Wh-what's so funny? I thought your mother was dying!"

"No, dummy! That was an exaggeration, I meant that she's probably WORRIED about me!" Jawaii continued giggling like a maniac.

"Ah. I see now... Thank you for correcting me!" Phantom joined in on the laughter.

They got themselves together after a moment.

"Oh yeah, mind if you could fly me over to my house..? We're kinda far away from home." said Jawaii.

"Of course!" Phantom replied happily.

Jawaii climbed on his back and the two flew home.

———

After flying back to town, Phantom gently set Jawaii down in front of her home.

"See you soon, my friend. I enjoyed showing you around Spooky Trails today!" said Phantom.

"Cya tomorrow Phantom! I had a good day today too!" She ran up to him and gave him one last hug.

She walked up to her door and waved goodbye to Phantom. He waved back.

"Moooom! I'm hoooome!"

Jawaii's stepmother Stella ran in.

"Oh, Jawaii! Thank goodness you're all right! I was so worried, where were you?"

"Sorry I came home late! But I spent today with a friend of mine."

Stella had a look of pleasant surprise on her face. "You made a friend? That's so wonderful! I know you haven't really ever had any friends, honey, I'm so happy to hear that you finally made one!" She smiled.

Jawaii grinned. "Yeah! I'll tell you allllll about him! He's the best."

They sat down at the dinner table with the food Stella made.

Jawaii dug into her mashed potatoes and ate it like a wild animal that had nothing to eat for the past 3 weeks.

"Honey, chew slowly. I don't want you choking!" said Stella.

"Sorry, Mom..." Jawaii said, frowning.

"It's okay. I don't want you in the hospital or anything, especially after you just made a new friend!"

"Oh, I've known him for a while, actually. We've been hanging out together a lot!" she smiled, her mouth still full of food.

"...Jawaii, sweetie, don't talk with food in your mouth.“

"Oh yeah! Sorry again Mom.."

"Anyways, that's why you've been out so much lately? I'm so happy for you, Jawaii!" Stella smiled.

Jawaii gulped down some water. "Yep! I'm glad I'm his friend too!"

They spent dinner talking about all of the fun adventures she and Phantom had gone on.

Jawaii however, conveniently left out any mention of them being in danger, she wouldn't want to worry her stepmother of course!

"Oh yeah! I meant to ask you this, but I got totally sidetracked but where's Dad? And where's Hakai?" asked Jawaii.

"Your father is out destroying planets again, and your sister is having a sleepover with some friends of hers." said Stella.

"Ohhhh. Wonder why Dad's out so late. Hope he's alright."

"I'm sure he's fine, hon."

Jawaii had another sister though, and her name was Roe. She went to a boarding school and wasn't home most of the time.

She stretched and yawned. "Hey Mom, I think I'm gonna hit the hay today."

Stella gave her a small look of surprise. "Oh! You are? Usually you're quite a night owl. Maybe you're just tired from all your little adventures with Phantom."

Jawaii smiled. "Yeah. Maybe. Anyways, g'night Mom! Love ya, don't let the bed bugs bite."

Stella gave Jawaii a hug. "Aww, good night sweetie. Love you too.”

Jawaii ran upstairs, changed into her nightgown, brushed her teeth and jumped into bed, quickly falling asleep after her long, tiring but fun day.

———

That same night, the Mushroom Kingdom was as quiet as ever when it was nighttime. The once colorful, cheerful inviting land was deathly silent, almost hauntingly so.

Princess Peach was safely tucked in her bed, sleeping peacefully.

But little did the sleeping princess know, this would not remain for long.

King Boo had finally made it to the castle after venturing there to exact his revenge. He knew how dearly Phantom loved Peach. Breaking them apart forever would be the ultimate punishment for stepping on his turf. He knew that either way, the plan would work. If Phantom didn't come to the manor, him and Peach would be separated forever. If he did, however, it would give the vengeful king the chance to trap him and Jawaii in his manor, to torture them and possibly even kill them somehow.

He knew he could kill Jawaii, that was no problem, but Phantom...? Could he possibly do it again? ...No, he's a ghost now. He can't be killed again. But the king knew that even if he couldn't die, he could still make him suffer for as long as he wanted. Possibly even for eternity.

He phased through the castle walls, not having any of the guards notice him. Then, he finally found her room. There Peach slept, defenseless, ready for the taking.

In the blink of an eye, he snatched her from her bed.

Peach immediately woke up and let out a shrill scream of horror, alerting the Toads guarding her door.

But it was too late. He had already burst out her window with her and was headed straight towards his mansion.

———

Tap, tap, tap.

Jawaii woke up very late that night to a tapping sound she heard at her window. She went over to it to find one of the Peek-A-Boos she had met in Spooky Trails, tapping away at her window.

"Hey... aren't you that kid who Phantom is friends with?"

Jawaii rubbed her eye and yawned. "Yeah. Why do you ask? And how are you at my house anyway?"

The Peek-A-Boo had a somber expression on his face. "Well... I have to tell you some... bad news."

Jawaii was horrified of what was about to come out of his mouth next. Did something terrible happen to Phantom?

"His love, Princess Peach was kidnapped by King Boo. And... Phantom is gone. He went off to go save her. Knowing King Boo, Phantom may not come back in one piece. ...The other Rabbids told me it was best to go tell you. That way, you would know where he is. You deserve to know..."

Jawaii was devastated. How could this happen?

She knew she had to save him. And if she couldn't save him... then she wouldn't let him suffer alone.

"...No. I'm not going to let this happen to him."

The Peek-A-Boo was taken aback in surprise by Jawaii's response. "...I dunno if you should go. You're only a kid. You could get seriously hu-"

"I don't care." said Jawaii.

She jumped into her closet and changed into her usual clothes, grabbed a lantern and ran out of the house and into the black, haunted forest that she met Phantom in.

[aj-writes-here]

Grumpy Levi happy he can finally sleep on your chest again without being disturbed by your baby and just as he’s abt to fall asleep she starts crying again and he just looses it kskskskjs

Sooooo sorry this one took me so long! I hope you enjoy this one!

What is Sleeping?

Finally. Levi was able to get your daughter to sleep, she was barely nine months old but she had the energy of a teenager. That or she had inherited Levi's bad sleeping habits, and he was hoping Kuchel was just energetic. 

This was the fourth time he had gotten up, you had overworked and Levi wanted you to rest, he was going to take care of your daughter in case she woke up in the middle of the night, but apparently the infant had planned waking up by intervals of fifteen minutes. And Levi was getting up at the second he heard her cry. You insisted that you should go, but he was stubborn and if he wanted you to rest you were going to rest. He loved his little girl with his entire soul, but for once in his life things had aligned, you were there, he was sleepy and he had no files to check that night. But instead of cuddling you, he was getting up every ten minutes. That fourth time, he eased her cry and then headed to the kitchen to prepare her milk, maybe she was hungry, or maybe if she ate something sleep was going to kick in. Testing the temperature, he decided it was warm enough and went back to the room, carefully he grabbed her in his arms and woke her up, this time she didn't cry. The feeding bottle was empty after a few minutes, and after walking around her bedroom for a while longer, Levi set her back on her crib, praying this time she had fallen asleep until morning next, or at least for a couple of hours. 

He didn't even bother in turning the light again as he walked inside your room again, he took his slippers out and let himself fall on the bed, his cheek resting on your chest for the third time that night.

''Did it work now?'' You asked him as you started rubbing his back.

''I hope so. That brat better be on her NREM stage by now'' Levi answered, closing his eyes for a bit.

''I'm sure she will be, this time is the one'' You laughed and kiss his forehead, and he just hummed back in reply.

Your hands were clung to Levi's back, moving softly up and down while the other one was in charge of playing with his hair, brushing his dark locks with your fingers and at times scratching his scalp and undercut. You could feel yourself relaxing, your own breath becoming slower and Levi's heat and scent were just helping you to get to dreamland faster.

Same for him, his eyes were closed the entire time, his head resting on your chest, your leg was trapped between his, and your heartbeat and hands in his hair were the perfect match. He was feeling himself drifting away from the awake's world, sleeping taking over him. 

But then a cry echoed in the entire house. 

And his eyes open in one second, maybe even less. You thank that everything was dark so he couldn't see your expression holding a laugh.

''For fuck's sake'' He said whining and stood up again. 

''Do you want me to go?'' You asked, now for the fifth time.

''I got this.''

The way from his room to Kuchel's room was the longest one, and he had run out of ideas to make her sleep again. As if that wasn't enough, just before entering the baby's room he hit his little toe with the door frame.

''Fuckin-sh'' He said loud but shut up immediately, now hissing in total stress because the kid was going to cry even more because of his loud voice. Levi walked towards the crib ignoring the pain and lifted her once more. ''That's it, you're coming with me.''

Now with the baby girl in his arms, he made back to your room once more, this time being more careful and not to hit his toe again. 

''Is it all good?'' You asked when you here the steps, but then you hear the babbling ''Oh, we have visitors'' You smiled.

''Just shut up and do whatever shit you do to make this brat sleep''

You couldn't help but laugh at your husband, he had lost it and even though he was still trying. Carefully, Levi placed the baby in between the two of you, his body almost at the edge of the mattress not to hurt his baby girl while sleeping. You placed a hand on her back and rubbed it softly at the same time you started humming a song. Levi rolled on his side so his torso was now working as a barrier for Kuchel, there was no way from her falling unless she crawled at the end of the bed. This was quite possible, but if she was there Levi was going to be more alert than ever, even in his sleep. 

Your own voice helped him getting sleepy again, and before closing his eyes again, he spoke.

''So this is what she wanted.'' 

''I told you I should go'' you laughed again

''You get tomorrow's shift, then'' his voice was soft and tired, and you smile tenderly at the sound. He moved a little bit just to get more comfortable, and pressed a delicate kiss on the top of the baby's head, and you heard his voice once more.

''Good night, my brats.''

[duskwoodloversblog]

JessyxMaleMC

I got to Duskwood just a week ago,my mission is to find Hannah and return her to her friends and family safely,I knew it wouldn't be easy but what I didn't know was that it would be this hard,and without Jake it's even harder,he gave me a lot of useful informations which I could use but now I'm totally lost the only one who's giving me strength to go on,to keep looking for Hannah is Jessy.She is the only person I can trust in the whole group.I know she didn't co-operate with me at first because normally,she was just scared but then it was like she was helping me more than anyone else.She trusted me from the start,and never ever doubted me like everyone else.

(Mike was thinking about all this while sitting on the chair and drinking coffee, it's pretty early in the morning)

I had just woken up from sleep after having a terrible nightmare,and then I checked my phone and saw Jessy's text which said,"Good morning Mike!!!❤️ text me when you wake up!!!" And this text made me forget about the nightmare,and all the negative thoughts.

I got up from bed and made a mug of coffee and started texting her.

"Hey Jessy!!Good morning 💖"

She got online immediately and replied,

"Heey!!!did you sleep well?!"

I don't want to worry her so I said,"Yes of course,I slept great,thank you for asking."

"Soooo,do you remember about our date yesterday?how did you like it?😊💞" How can I not like the time I spent with you?

"There's no way I'm ever going to forget that wonderful date😉❤️" I reply.

Jessy:Aww❤️ok I'll text you in a bit Richy is coming 😶"

"Ok ok,take care and stay safe,bye"

I feel way better after talking to her,now I'm going to look in to all the clues I have until now and try to figure out the answer to this big mystery.

Any if this doesn't make any sense, first of all why was Hannah depressed? everyone said that she was a cheerful and happy person,then was there a sad and depressed girl behind that happy face?

And secondly,who is this Jennifer? what's the connection?I don't understand any of this yet but I have to keep going.

(Mike's phone vibrates,he checks his phone and it's a text from Cleo)

Cleo:Hey,do you have any new leads?

Mike:I'm trying to find one but it seems like this man without a face guy is a professional.

Cleo:Oh...are we not going to find Hannah?

Mike:We are!!!I promise, please just hold on a little bit,we are very close to finding her ok?

Cleo:Ok,let me know if you need any kind of help.

Mike:Will do

I know I'm saying I'm going to find Hannah but how?when? Where?I don't know

(It's almost evening,Mike is still investigating on the pictures he got from Hannah's cloud, he's reading chats to get any kind of hints and trying everything in his power to find Hannah)

Mike was going through Hannah's call list and suddenly he gets a call, it's from Jessy.

He smiles and picks up the call but he wasn't prepared for what happened next.It wasn't Jessy's voice,it was a scary and dark voice and he didn't need much time to understand that it was actually the man without a face.

"I have Hannah,and now I'm taking this sweet little girlfriend too,I told you to stop interfering on other people's businesses but you didn't listen to me,you chose to still go on but your choices have consequences and now it's your time to suffer"

Oh my....no no no no,Jessy is not going to suffer because of something I did!!!I'm not going to let anything happen to her.

"If you dare to hurt her no one can spare you from me!!!" Mike says over the phone.

"Oh yes?ok let's see" say the man without a face and after like 4 seconds Mike heard a scream,he knows that voice.... It's Jessy.

"Do you still think you can threat me?" He asks Mike.

"It was me who's still trying to find Hannah not her,she has nothing to do with all of this please her her go!!!you want me right?take me but not her." Now Mike says in a request voice.He hears a malicious laugher.

"If you want to see Jessy and Hannah alive then come here" TMWF says.

"And where is here??" Mike says desperately and the phone hangs up.

No no,this can't be happening!!!I can't lose Jessy.

Mike gets a notification, it's a text from an unknown number, it's an address to who knows where? it's saying routes.

"I know this is dangerous and might be a trap but I have to do something,I can't let anything happen to Jessy or Hannah because of me" Mike says to himself.

I'm going to this address this tonight,and I'm going to save my Jessy and also Hannah from that monster.

Mike is getting ready,he wears a black jacket and jeans,takes his phone and gets out of his house and starts to do as the text says.and finally he reaches the forest.

But that's not it after reaching the forest he gets another call from another number,so he picks it up.

"I didn't think you'd come this soon,I wasn't prepared to treat another guest of mine yet,but since you're already here go straight and take right and then count 100 steps"

The call drops, Mike starts to follow the instructions again.

"I'm not going to back off now,today I'm going to end this once and for all" He reaches the place but he doesn't see anything it's just thousands of old trees and bushes.

Mike hears sounds coming from behind him,he looks behind and sees his worst nightmare,TMWF holding a gun on Jessy's head and Hannah is all tied up.

"What do you want??why are you doing this? what's your intention???" Mike asks out of anger.

"I don't think you should be the one who's supposed to be questioning right now now,am I right or am I right?" He says

Jessy:MIKE!!Are you stupid??why did you come here? he's going to kill you please run away!!NOW!!!

"Im not going to leave you here alone with him ok?I'm going to be ok and so are you and so is Hannah." Mike replies.

"Wow,I like your confidence" TMWF says.

He repeats,"let's see who wins,you or me?" He loads his gun and starts to count.

"5....4....3....2..." TMWF was about to say 1 but someone knows him down from behind with a bat. Mike says "And there goes 1,this was for trying to hurt Jessy and kidnapping Hannah"

Mike goes to Jessy and Jessy hugs him tightly immediately

"I was so scared,I thought he would kill me,and I would never be able to talk to you again" Jessy says while crying hysterically.

Mike replies,"No one can hurt you while I'm here ok?I'm not going to let anything happen to you,I promise sweetie"

"But...you were there,how did you get here?" She now looks at Mike confused.

Mike laughs and replies,"It was actually Richy,I made a mask of my face and asked Richy to join me,he was distracting TMWF and I silently came here and you saw what happened next" Mike winks at her.

They see Hannah and Richy standing a few feets away from them.

Jessy and Mike goes to Hannah and Richy.Jessy hugs Hannah,Mike says "it's great to see you Hannah, finally,but we have to take care of this Monster."

Everyone agrees so they go to him and takes down his mask turns out... it's actually Hannah's doctor, Doctor Ulric Barret.

They tie him up and hands him to the police.

From the police,they get to know that Dr.Ulric Barret was doing some illegal work and Hannah found it out and that's why he kidnapped Hannah and pretended to be the legend of Duskwood "The man without a face".

Finally the nightmare is over,Hannah is with her boyfriend, sister and friends and Mike's mission is fulfilled,Jessy is alright,what else could he ask for?

Thomas held a part in his house to celebrate,and Mike was obviously the chief guest.

Mike talked to Thomas,Cleo,and Richy and of course with Hannah,she explained that she was actually trying to send Thomas Jake's number but accidentally she sent Mike's,she apologizes because of her he had to go through so much.Then,Jessy comes and Mike immediately walks to her.

"I was waiting for you,why did you come so late?" He asks Jessy.

"Well... first of all,I was getting ready properly,how do I look?"

"Just like a goddess like always" Mike replies leaving Jessy blush like crazy.

"Hey..I wanted to say thank you for saving my life Mike.. Really." She says looking into Mike's eyes.

"I didn't save yours,I saved mine" Mike replies winking,which makes Jessy laugh.

"Sooooo,now that everything is over,are you going back to your town?far from here?" Jessy asks hesitating.

"Yes,I was planning on booking a plane ticket tonight,but then...I changed my plan a little bit"

"I seeee...so what's your plan now?" Jessy asks curioused.

"I plan on staying with you,here in Duskwood." Mike says putting Jessy's beautiful red lock of hair behind her ear.

"Really??why would you do that?" She asks with a puppy face.

"Because...." Mike pulls Jessy closer to him and kisses her.

"Because,I love you Jessy Hawkins" Mike says looking at her smiling.

Jessy hugs him and says,"I love you too!!!"

The end❤️❤️❤️

Hope you guys enjoyed reading it,I'm so sorry if there was any mistakes, please ignore them,Thank you so so so much for reading😊😊😊

@hacked-by-jake @hacker-ghost @jakefromduskwood @jakeduskwood @duskwood-fandom @duskwoodaestfan @duskwoodraven @nerdinthecorner

[blossom-hwa]

in vino veritas au with changbin for the drabble game! Congrats on the 1k followers!! ❤❤

Thanks for the request anon! I always love me some Changbin!!!! Always looking for an excuse to write for him!!!!!

1k drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV or SKZ member (+ an idea/title/aesthetic/etc. if you want something more specific) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

I didn’t know what ‘in vino veritas’ meant so I had to search it up? Could not find any stories/movies with it as a title though so I’m just going to write this based off the translation! If there was a story with that as a title and you wanted an au of that, I’m so sorry anon :(

This is also set in the AtLA universe!!

For reference: ‘in vino veritas’ is Latin for ‘in wine lies the truth,’ as in someone who’s drunk is more likely to speak the truth than when sober.

~

Title: In Vino Veritas

Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader

~

When Minho warned you that Changbin was a lightweight, you brushed it off. According to your family, you’re a pretty light drinker too. You know your limits. You’ll make sure Changbin adheres to said limits as well.

You didn’t realize that your family’s definition of a lightweight was absolutely not the same as Changbin’s or Chan’s. One glass of spirits makes you tipsy, while your dad might not even feel buzzed. 

Meanwhile, for Changbin, one glass of the same stuff means he’s pretty much flat-out drunk.

So on the night where you should be celebrating the successful defeat of the fire army and His Royal Bitchlord, Ozai, you’re sitting with Changbin by the turtleduck pond, rubbing his back, and listening to his drunken ramblings.

It’s pretty funny, in all honesty. Changbin’s already revealed his true thoughts about meeting Fire Prince Minho for the first time (”stupid bitchass meanie, I don’t care if he’s older than me, I still deserve respect even though I’m short”). He’s been bitching about various people, some of whom you know and some of whom you don’t, but it’s hilarious all the same. 

“What about me, Changbin?” you interrupt idly, staring at the turtleducks swimming peacefully on the pond. Your hand has moved from his back to the top of his head and you card your fingers through his hair. “What did you first think about me?”

He doesn’t even hesitate before he starts. 

“Beautiful and strong,” he slurs. “Stupidly brave and amazing waterbender.”

What the fuck.

This was not where you expected the conversation to go. You expected Changbin to bitch about you a little bit. You expected to laugh. 

You didn’t expect compliments. Words and phrases that would give you the hope that your feelings for him are reciprocated. 

Changbin looks up at you, smiling dopily as a shy smile begins to rise on your face. “I first met you when you were practicing bending, remember?” 

“Yeah,” you murmur.

“You were so smooth with the water.” Changbin sighs, snuggling even closer into your side. He may not be a firebender, but he’s always been a little warmer than most. His warmth floods your skin, heightening the color in your face. “It was like watching... I don’t know. You were so in tune with the element. I had a crush on you for sooooo long.”

Had?

You should’ve just cut off the conversation before, so you wouldn’t feel so hurt.

“Had?” you echo sadly. 

Shining eyes peer into yours. “Well, having a crush isn’t the same thing as being in love, right?”

You can’t breathe. You can’t fucking breathe. 

Seo Changbin, the stupid earthbender you’ve been in love with for months, has just confessed to you, under the influence of alcohol, that he feels the same.

“You’re drunk, Binnie,” you mumble fondly, trying to erase the hope in your chest. He’s drunk - there’s no way his words are true. 

“But it’s true,” he protests weakly, petulantly pouting his lips. His eyelids are fluttering shut, though, so you just fake a laugh and pat his head.

“Go to sleep, Bin.” You press a kiss to his hair. “I’ll find someone to bring you to bed.”

“No.” Earth covers your shoes, just enough that you can’t move but not so much that it hurts. “Stay.”

Against your will, you smile. “Fine, fine. Just go to sleep.”

As Changbin drifts off to dreamland, the smile slips off your face as you stare at shimmering surface of the pond. What do you do now? He probably won’t remember this in the morning, but you will, and that’s a little too much for you to deal with right now. 

It figures. You snort. After a year of soaring around on a flying bison, evading a Tui-damned army, and defeating the fucking Fire Lord, now you’re trapped by the worst enemy of all - romantic feelings. 

“Y/N!” Chan’s voice sounds and you flinch, immediately looking to Changbin. Thankfully, he hasn’t woken. You glare slightly at the newcomer, pointing to the sleeping boy. His expression turns guilty.  “Sorry,” Chan whispers. “We were just looking for you two. You kinda disappeared.” He walks a little closer, then frowns. “Are you okay?”

Damn. You thought you’d hidden it pretty well, but Chan’s your brother. He can figure you in a second. “Changbin was drunk and said he was in love with me,” you finally reply bluntly. “But he was drunk. There’s no way he was serious.”

Chan just raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you the saying ‘drunk words are just sober thoughts’?”

“... No?”

“Well, they are.” Chan folds his arms, grinning evilly. “So I think you just got a confession, sis.”

You want to believe him. But if you do, and then Changbin turns out to not feel the same, it’ll be too much. Something in your chest tightens as you look at the sleeping boy again. 

“Just talk to him tomorrow, okay?” Chan smiles reassuringly. “You can do that much. He owes it to you, at least, for being the one to talk about it in the first place.”

You want to talk to him but at the same time you don’t. Conflict wars in your mind. 

“Y/N?”

You sigh. “Fine, Chan. We’ll talk.”

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 13: Drowning 

Steven's P.O.V.

…

…

…

...w-where am I…? Why...is everything so dark? I...I don't know what's going on…

Beep...beep.

What...is that noise? Is it...my head beeping? I...I don't know...what's going...on…

I just feel like...I need to...get out of this darkness…a-are my eyes even...open? I don't think...they are…

All I have to do...i-is open them right? Would I be...out of the darkness then? I...can try to.

I started to try and move...my eyelids and...I think I was right. My eyes are closed…

I suddenly hear...a voice but...I can't make out...who that was...who was it…? I have to...open my eyes...I have to…

I keep squinting...my eyes as I...start trying to open them. The voice started...to speak again...as I made my way...to open my eyes.

I tried...and I tried...and I tried...until finally...I was able to open them up. Once I do...everything is just...m-mixed in...in one big blur.

What's...going on...where...am I…? I don't...remember...how I got...to this place...whatever it is…

I slightly feel something grab my hand...I think...it was my hand. I turned my head over...to see a blur that stood out...from the rest of the blurry room. Kind of like...a person.

I once again heard...a voice but it was muffled. W-where...am I? I turned my head as my vision...continued to be a blur. I feel...weird. I feel...dizzy. I…

"...ven…!"

I blinked slowly as I...slowly turned to the voice again. My vision started to clear a bit...but it was still blurry.

"...ven...ar...e…?"

W-who is that...I...I can't tell. Why...what is going on…? What is-?

Suddenly, my stomach felt like it was hit by a bus and I gasp loudly as I start to sit up, my senses suddenly snapping into focus.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down kiddo!"

I felt hands gently grab my shoulders and push me softly back down, and that's when the pain slowly started to stop. I looked back up and realized that blurry figure was my dad.

"D-dad…?" my eyes widened at how weak my voice was.

He softly smiles at me. "H-hey Schtu-ball."

I go to say something else, when I notice there's something on my face. My eyes trailed down to the thing on my face. 

Wait...what is this?! What's this on my face?! I took a look around the room again and noticed some wires attached to me. My eyes widen at this as I frantically tried to rip the thing off my face.

Oh gosh! I'm trapped! Get this thing off of me! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

"W-whoa! Easy there," dad said before he gently went to grab my hand but I flinched slightly. "It's ok. You're in the hospital right now."

"H-h-hosss...pital?" I forced out.

"Yea...where sick people go. Also please try not to talk too ok? Sounds like trying to speak is draining you already."

I looked at him and realized something. As I was about to ask, I gasped as that grinding pain came back to my stomach, and I couldn't help but curl.

"Steven! O-ok hang on."

I looked over my shoulder to see dad pick up some kind of remote and pressing a button.

"It's alright. Connie's mom will be here soon."

I looked at him, and forced my question out.

"H-h-how'ssss….C-C-Connie…? I-i-is sh-sheeee...o-k-k-kay?"

Dad looked at me a little surprised but then sighs, shaking his head slightly.

"Don't worry. She's ok and she's safe. Right now, we need to worry about you. You're what's important right now kiddo."

I look up, ready to say something, when I see Connie's mom come in and she looks over at me and looks shocked.

"Oh Steven, you're finally awake," she walks over to me quickly. "How do you feel?"

"I-I f-feeeeeeelllll...w-weird…"

She looks at me with a frown.

"Seems like you have a stutter and slurred speech. Don't worry, you just woke up from a coma so it should only be temporary."

My eyes widen. "A c-c-coommaaaa?!"

I've been stuck in a coma?! I've been asleep this whole time worrying everyone?!

"Y-yes, but try and stay calm," Connie's mom laid a hand on my shoulder. "The important thing now is that you're awake."

I looked up at her. "H-how l-loonng?"

She looked at me and sighed, deciding to avoid my question.

"Let me check your vitals."

She goes over and checks my heart rate, pulse, and other things I'm not even sure what she checks. After a few minutes, she looks at me and backs up.

"Well your vitals are as normal as they could be. Now then, do you feel any pain?"

I bit my lip as I was tempted to not worry her and tell her I was ok, but the look on dad's face tells me otherwise.

"E-everything...h-hurrrrtttsss...m-m-mainly my st-stommmaaaccchhh…"

She sighs. "Well that's normal. After all the physical trauma you've been through I would've been surprised if you weren't. I could probably find you some pain killers or something to help ease the pain," she comes over and gently takes off the thing that was on my face. "I'll keep this nearby in case you need it, but I'm gonna see how you do without it for a while," she looks at dad. "I'm going to go call Connie and tell her that Steven's awake. If anything happens, please let me know immediately."

Dad nods. "Got it!"

She gives a nod before leaving the room. He looks back at me and sits in the chair next to my bed.

"I'm...really glad to see you're awake kiddo."

I look down. "I-I'm...s-s-sorrrryyy I w-worried y-yoouuu."

He smiled softly at me. "Hey, don't worry about it. The important thing is you're awake now."

"Y-yea...I g-g-guess sooooo."

"You'll be ok," he smiles.

I looked down for a second before back at him.

"D-dad?"

"Yea?"

"S-s-she said t-thaaattt...I was in a c-c-coma...h-how looonnnnggg w-was I o-o-ooouuutttt?"

He sighs and glances down.

"A...a while, Steven. A long while…"

My eyes widen. "L-like a y-year?!"

"Oh no no not that long don't worry," he sighs. "That...can be something we can talk about later. You just woke up so it's best if you don't have all the information at once right now."

I looked at him before glancing down at the sheets.

"I-I'm s-sorrrryyyy…"

"Hey hey, no need to apologize. This isn't your fault."

I looked back up at him, and that's when we started talking. A little bit later, Connie's mom came back in and looked at me.

"Hey Steven, you have some visitors."

I looked at her. "O-ok."

She turned around and it looked like she was motioning something as people started to come in. Who came in was Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot, and...Connie. My eyes widen when I saw Connie and felt a sense of relief to see she was ok. She looked back at me, her eyes widen as she started to slowly come over towards me.

"St-Steven…"

I smiled at her. "H-hey Connniiiieee. I'm glad to s-see you're okaaaaayyyy."

"Me?" she lightly chuckles. "I'm not the one in a hospital bed."

I chuckle back. "Well I-I'm a little d-disappoinnntteeddd you d-didn't get me floowwweeerrrrsss."

She chuckled while the room went silent and dad was looking at me in shock. I looked at him wide eyed, having the feeling I did something wrong.

"W-w-what? D-did I do s-something w-wrrroonnnggg?! I-I-I'm s-sorrrryyyy!"

He shakes his head. "Y-you didn't do anything wrong kiddo. It's just...do you remember hearing anything while you were unconscious?"

I looked at him feeling a little nervous.

"N-n-no I d-doonnn'ttt. I-I'm sorrrryyyy I…"

"No, it's ok," Greg looked at Connie's mom.

She looked a little shocked herself as she looked like she was thinking for a moment.

"It could be possible that Steven did hear you at some point in his coma but wasn't aware of it, and his brain absorbed that information unconsciously."

Dad looked back at me and gave me a reassuring smile.

"It's alright kiddo. What you said just caught me by surprise that's all."

I slowly nodded at him before looking over at the Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot, and they were looking at me with a smile. I looked at them before realizing it was just them. Where were the others?

"H-hey guy? W-w-where arrreeeee P-Pearl, Ametthhhyyysssstttt and G-G-Garnet?"

Their smiles disappeared as they looked at each other. I felt more nervous just seeing the shifts in their mood.

"G-guys?"

They looked at me before Bismuth took a breath and looked at me.

"Steven...please listen to me carefully. The others they...they're still on Homeworld...still mind controlled by White Diamond."

My eyes widened as my breath hitched in my throat.

"W-what?!"

She sighs. "You...were badly injured, Steven. We didn't really have time to try and find a way to save them at that moment. We...had to save you because...well you were bleeding out."

I stared in shock as I glanced down.

"S-so...t-t-this is m-my f-f-faaauullllttt…"

"N-no it isn't," Lapis tried to reassure me. "This isn't your fault."

"I-I...d-did this…" I muttered.

"Steven?" I hear Peridot ask.

"I...d-did t-t-thiiisss…"

Suddenly, it was really hard to breath as I struggled to get a breath in. W-what is this?! Why can't I breathe?! H-help! I can barely make out the sound of the beeping getting faster as I find it more difficult to breathe! 

"St-Steven!"

Help...help me! I-I'm drowning! I can't breathe!

"I-I'm s-s-sorry! I...I d-d-didn't mean t-to!" I muttered out. "Th-this is m-my f-f-fault!"

I can't breathe! I'm drowning! Someone please...help me!

"St-Steven!" the voice sounded so distant, but I couldn't make out who it was. "I-it isn't your fault!"

I can't….I can't breathe! Someone help me! Help! Help me! The tears are streaming out of my eyes. This is my fault! They're gone because of me! I can't breathe! I'm drowning! I'm dying! Help!

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my shoulder and I gasp as I looked up, my vision suddenly blurry and my hearing starting to ring. I can see the person's lips moving barely, but I can't see...I can't hear.

I can't breathe! I can't...I can't...I can't...help me! Someone please...help...help...help...me...I can't...everything is...getting so blurry…

Everything is getting...so...dark…

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Meant to meet Pt. 4

(A/N) Last part’s here! I hope you like it!

Pairing: Jasper Hale x Reader

Warnings: mentions of adoption

@disney-kingdom-hearts

@thegirlwithoutaname87

@smallclumsypenguin

(Thought I would tag you two! If you don’t want to be tagged let me know!)

Discription:  Being chased through the woods by a pack of wolfs, everything gets   worse when you step in a bear trap. But you are safed by two men. But   who are they, why are they so strong and fast and why does the younger   one intrigue you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The journey back to Forks was uneventful and soon we were back at their house. While we were gone, some changes had happened. More food had been bought, since I was still half-human and had to eat from time to time. A bed had also been put in Jasper’s room and Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Bella and I did some online shopping, so that I could get some clothes into the closet they’d build for me.

It really felt like I now belonged somewhere. I miss my parents, no question, but the Cullens accepted me without questions and treat me as if I’d always been there. I found my soulmate in Jasper and we couldn’t be happier. Since the Volturi never reached out to us, we let it go and just watched me closer then the others. Everything was perfect.

“What are you thinking about, darling?” Jasper laid behind me on the bed, one arm wrapped around me, the other holding a book. “Just how lucky I am to be with you.” He chuckled and leaned over to me. “I love you, Y/N.” “I love you too, Jas.” We were about to kiss, when a high-pitched voice startled us. “Mummy! Daddy!” “Look who woke up from her nap.” I chuckled and got out of bed, meeting our daughter halfway. “Hey there, bean. How was your nap?” she chuckled, but reached out to Jasper, so I handed her over. “It great.” Jasper sat her down in his lap. “Oh yeah? How great?” She threw her chubby little arms up. “Sooooo great!” Jasper and I chuckled at that. “Hey, come downstairs!” I frowned at Jasper, who just shrugged. Together with our daughter we walked downstairs where a surprising sight waited for us. “Aro…” He smiled at us, like always. “My friends! Oh, how good to see you!” He walked over to us. “Is that her?” I nodded and he offered his hands. Y/D/N looked at me and I nodded. She put her small hands in his. After a second, he let go and smiled even brighter. “Very well! Everything’s brilliant. I’ll take my leave now.” He was still smiling when he exited the house. I picked my daughter up and carried her over, to where Carlisle and Esme were standing. Y/D/N reached for Esme, who gladly took her. She walked over to the couch, where she sat down and played with my daughter. Carlisle and I walked back over to Jasper. “Did he really just come to check if she was a human child?” Carlisle nodded. “Apparently someone started the rumour that she was a vampire and he wanted to make sure.” I rolled my eyes at his control fetish and looked at my little girl. Jasper and I adopted her two years ago. She was only a few days old and born at the hospital at Forks. The mother didn’t want her, so Carlisle asked us, knowing that we’d want a child sooner or later and that we’d never be able to have one on our own. We accepted immediately. And now, she lived with us. All of us agreed that we’d tell her the truth about us when she was older and let her choose if she wants to become a vampire or stay human. Rose was reluctant, but she also agreed. I looked at the ground. “At least he didn’t bring all that half-human, half-vampire stuff up.” Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. “Don’t worry about it darling. Everything’s fine.” I nodded and hugged Jasper. When I did that, the glimmer on my left ring finger. I smiled at the memory of Jasper proposing to me.

It was only a few months after we met, but both of us knew that we’d spend the rest of eternity together, so there was really no reason to wait. He led me to a secluded place in the middle of the woods. I noticed that something was off the moment we reached the place. It was an opening, surrounded by trees. In the middle laid a small lake, surrounded by beautiful flowers. But the flowers didn’t grow in a natural pattern, but they rather spelled something. “Jasper…what’s going on?” He chuckled and pointed at a tree. Without questions I climbed it, until I was high enough to read what it was saying. “Under your pillow.” I let myself fall to the ground and frowned at him. “What did it say?” His grin told me that he knew exactly what it said, but I played along. “That there is something underneath my pillow.” He chuckled. “Well, you better go and get it.” I walked over to him and pecked him on his lips. “Be right back.” He nodded and I was gone.

I was awaiting a small surprise underneath the pillow, not another note, telling me to go somewhere else. I had to dig through hundreds of books until I found the right one, just to be rewarded with another room. And like that, I ran through the whole house, collecting notes and talking to the others since I sometimes had to do some tasks to get the next note. At last, I stood in front of Carlisle and Esme and chatted with them. That was my task. “Talk with Carlisle and Esme.” I did that, but no new note. Just then, Carlisle’s phone rang, but he didn’t even look at it. Instead he handed me a small paper with a message.

“Come back to me.

I miss you.”

-J

Chuckling, I thanked the adults and ran out of the house and through the forest, until I arrived at the clearing where this all had started. By now, it’s gotten dark and fireflies were everywhere. But that wasn’t everything. There was a blanket on the ground, near the lake with a basket on top of it plus a small bench a bit further back. Jasper stood in the middle of all this and smiled at me. He waved me to him and I quickly obliged. I ran into his waiting arms, deeply inhaling his scent. “Welcome back.” I giggled and pulled away. “Yeah, about that, why’d you make me do this?” He chuckled. “Because, if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have had time to get all this ready.” True. It does look like quiet a bit of work. Even for a vampire. “So, does this mean you got another note for me?” He nodded before he handed me the small piece of paper. “Up.” I squinted at Jasper, before I turned to the tree I had climbed earlier. Again, I climbed up until I could see everything below me. Then I turned around.

Will you marry me?

A loud laugh escaped my mouth and I let go of the branch I was holding on to. Jasper moved to stand under me, catching me since I was still half-human. He chuckled and gently sat me down before he kneeled down in front of me, pulling a ring out. He raised an eyebrow and I nodded my head furiously. He jumped to his feet, slipped the ring onto my finger and pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss. When we pulled away, cheering erupted around us. Everyone ran out of the woods and to us, hugging and congratulating us. “I’m so happy for you two! I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but still.” I chuckled at Alice’s words. “Thank you.” After a few minutes, they decided to leave us alone and Jasper and I spend a romantic evening together, celebrating our future.

“What are you thinking about, darling?” Jasper’s voice pulled me back into reality and I smiled at him. “The night you proposed.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss against my cheek. “I love you, you know that, right?” He nodded and I smiled at him. “I love you too.”

After that night, the Volturi left is alone. We watched Y/D/N grow into a wonderful woman and when she was old enough, we told he the truth. She decided that she wanted to be like us and after she finished high school, we turned her. It wasn’t an easy life, moving all the time and lying to everyone you know, but I wouldn’t choose any other life over it.

[rookiesinsmut-blog]

Don't Flirt! (Jonghyun X Reader)

Whenever you went out with Jonghyun he would follow you everywhere like a lost puppy. He was super quiet, super shy, and often did whatever you wanted to. Outside he was an angel, a perfect boyfriend.

When you two were alone though, well that was a different story.

Request: you write for nu'est right? can you do a smut with jonghyun, i know he seems vanilla, but i want a daddy! dom! jonghyun where he punishes you because you purposely flirt with dongho. thank you

Genre: smut

Word Count: 1896

Author: Hyemi

Warning: not for the faint of heart or for those who don't love JR. SUPER SMUT AHEAD

Jonghyun in bed was a completely different Jonghyun than the one that everyone knew. Only you knew of his true self though, since he never showed that side of him to anyone else.

One night you and Jonghyun were hanging at Donghos place, playing video games and watching a movie. Jonghyun was upset with you over something dumb, something you couldn't even remember honestly. It was just one of those days.

As the three of you waited for your pizza to be delivered, Jonghyun was sitting on the floor in front of the television, playing a game by himself and very obviously ignoring you. 

"Jonghyun-ah, can you get me some water?" You asked as you sat on the couch next to Dongho. He completely ignored you, making Dongho smirk.

"Jonghyun. Hey," you clapped your hands to get his attention. It didn't work. Just to see what would happen, you sighed over dramatically, leaning your head on Dongho's shoulder. It felt weird to you because it wasn't Jonghyun, but you would deal. Dongho suppressed a laugh, snorting a little.

Jonghyun stayed glued to the TV.

"Sooooo... Dongho. Do you like Messi?" You asked the man beside you.

"You know Messi?" He asked, looking at you with one eyebrow raised.

"Pshaw, everyone knows Messi," you said, even though you didn't know anything about Messi. You just knew he was a soccer player and that guys liked him.

"Well yeah, but not girls," Dongho played along, catching at what you were trying to do. "Tha’ts really impressive that you know of him." You both looked at Jonghyun, who had no reaction.

"Thanks," you said continuing, "Do you play soccer? You look like you work out a lot."

"Oh I work out all the time. Feel my arms," Dongho lifted his sleeve, flexing. At this, Jonghyun looked back, eyes sharp.

"Oh wow. Oh wow," you said, squeezing his bicep. "Your skin is so soft too."

"Really?" Dongho asked. He rubbed his arm, 'accidentally' touching your hand with his. Dongho was a pretty good actor, and he blushed a little, so you followed his lead.

"There's this place I go to down the road sometimes that gives out free coffee, I should take you sometime." He said, offering you a smirk.

"Uh, no no no." Jonghyun finally intervened, standing up and sitting in between you two. "No no no no NO."

"Sure, I'd love to. You know how I love coffee," you ignored Jonghyun. He had a very innocently shocked look on his face, making it hard not to laugh.

"Stop!" Jonghyun shouted, a plea in his eyes. You felt a little bad for him, but he deserved it.

"They have the best coffee. And the most comfortable chairs." Dongho had a clear smirk on his face now, and as Jonghyun looked back at him Dongho winked at you, which Jonghyun clearly caught.

"Stop, she's mine!" Jonghyun grabbed Dongho's collar. Dongho put his arms up in defense even though he would clearly win in a fight between the two of them. 

"I'm not anyone's," you stated. You got up and headed to the bathroom, purposely swaying your hips and walking slowly to tease your man.

"You're mine," you heard Jonghyun growl behind you. You turned around as Dongho’s phone rang, signalling the pizza was here, probably at the lobby of the building.

"Uh, I'm gonna go get that. Don't kill eachother while I'm gone." He got up and left the apartment.

You watched as Jonghyun slowly walked to the front door, locking Dongho out with a sharp click of the dead bolt. He turned around slowly, looking angry. He slowly smirked before barking out a low order.

"Room. Now."

Your face paled. You knew exactly what he was going to do to you. Your heart started beating quickly at the thought.

You obliged, heading for the spare room of Dongho's place. He quickly caught up behind you and as he followed you into the room, slamming the door behind him, he grabbed your arms and spun you around.

"We need to have a talk," he said sternly, a fire in his eyes.

"About what?" You feigned innocence. His grip on you was like iron, and you could already feel warmth radiating off him from being so close. In this moment you knew you needed him.

"You know about what," he smirked, leaning in close, his lips hovering over your own. "You've been a bad girl, Y/N."

He pushed you back roughly until the back of your legs hit the end of the bed, and again until you sat down. He hovered above you, your heart pounding, your body aching for him. 

"Do you want me?" He whispered seductively, sending shivers down your spine. You nodded shakily, "Yes," you said.

He lessened his grip on you, slowly taking his belt off of his pants. "Or do you want Dongho?"

You gulped.

"I want you." You told him. He threw his belt to the side, hitting the wall with it and creating a loud sound.

"Prove it," he growled. He pushed you back and crawled on top of you, easily trapping you beneath him. He didn't give you an opportunity to prove it, though, as he rubbed his bulge against you, making you moan.

"Say my name," he demanded.

"J-Jonghyun-" you started, but he interrupted you with a quick and painful thrust, rubbing you too hard through your clothes to handle. You wanted him so bad, and you knew you weren't gonna get him any time soon.

"Louder." he commanded.

"Jonghyun," you moaned. He traced one of his fingers down your jaw slowly, raising goosebumps. His finger trailed down your neck, down your torso, pausing slightly in-between your breasts, and then continuing down. He expertly slipped his hand into your panties, rubbing slow, burning circles around.

"Say it again." He pressed down on your clit, sending a huge shock through you, making you gasp in the harsh sensation.

"Jonghyun," you moaned as loud as you could.

"Good job baby girl," he whispered slowly. He trailed the tip of his tongue around behind your ear, nibbling on the end. "You're so wet for me. So fucking wet," he moaned against your skin, nibbling on your skin and sucking on the spot just below your jaw where he knew you liked. He sucked until it hurt, rubbing you until you started to shake uncontrollably.

"Jonghyun, I'm gonna come-" you warned him, which you shouldn't have. He immediately stopped rubbing you, bringing his finger to his lips, leaving you shivering in confusion. He sucked on his finger, playing around with it, making you wait.

"You taste so good baby," he cooed. He pressed his lips to yours, shoving his tongue in your mouth. You hummed against his mouth, both in disappointment and pleasure. You felt his hand slide back down, slowly but surely, rubbing you slower this time.

"Jonghyun-ah," you whined into the kiss. You wiggled underneath his weight, trying to get him to rub you harder or to rub him back, whichever worked best, but he had you pinned too tightly and you couldn't manage to do either. Jonghyun uttered a low, deep laugh, making you pout.

"Please," you begged, making him laugh again.

"If you beg harder... Maybe I'll think about it." He murmured against your lips.

"Fuck Jonghyun, please please please. I need you, I need you now. Please." You whined with no shame. Your skin was itching, your insides burning for him. He was driving you utterly crazy. If he didn't put his dick in you now you didn't know what you were going to do. Maybe die. Maybe that’s too dramatic, but it sure felt that way. Your insides were churning with pleasure that ebbed to and fro, from an almost high to a painful low in minutes.

"Do you love me baby?" He smirked.

"Yes! Give me your dick now!" You pleaded, raising your hips up as hard as you could against his hand.

"Mmmm," he hummed, amused by the control he had over you. "So impatient." He lessened his tight hold on you and you immediately went to work. Your hands shot down straight to his pants, pulling them down only enough for his hard member to stick out. He stayed still as you pulled your own pants down enough to give room for movement and then took his cock in your hands.

He moaned as you quickly guided him into you, immediately thrusting up as hard as you could. He allowed you to grind yourself against him for a few seconds before he took control again.

"Slow down baby," he nodded his face into the crook of your neck, kissing you softly. 'Oh come on,' you thought, 'Now was not the time to be cute and lovey dovey.'

You whined as he slowed it down, pumping himself in and out of you at a painfully slow pace. Your heart was beating erratically and you felt like you were gonna have a heart attack any minute. He nibbled at your skin, humming contentedly. How was he not dying?!

"Mmm. I love you so much," he mumbled into your skin.

"If you really love me then you'll make me come," you whined, pulling at his hair in frustration. He laughed, and the son of a bitch slowed his pace even more. You could count the seconds it took for him to slide in to you, just hitting your spot before slowly sliding out, his body shaking a little more each time. You knew this was killing him just as much as it was killing you; he just wasn't showing it.

"Jonghyun-ah..." You moaned loudly, trying to get him to go faster, harder, anything but this excruciating experience. "Give it to me." You tried to control your voice, making it as soft as possible because you knew it would phase him. He was shaking with the effort, and you knew he was gonna give in at some point.

He sighed, panting, and after you jolted your hips up again, he groaned, unable to keep his torture up. He quickened his pace, thrusting in and out as hard as he could, making you moan his name until you finally came. Despite all the torture he put you through, this was the best orgasm you had ever had, almost making it worth all the pain. Jonghyun came inside of you almost immediately after, filling you with his warmth before coming out of you and laying beside you.

The two of you lay there side by side, panting, hearts beating in sync. Jonghyun reached over and took your hand in his, holding it tightly before raising it to his lips, kissing each knuckle softly. You smiled over at him and he grinned back.

"Dongho's gonna be so mad." You said, making both of you giggle.

-Hyemi

[cefstickles]

Work Hard, Sleep Harder

This is Technically the second Sanders Sides tickle fic and the second longest one shot I have ever wrote! But I saw someone had asked for this prompt on @thetickleeraven‘s blog a couple weeks ago and I thought I would try it out!

There are no T-fics like this that I have seen yet, so I thought I might try this out. Let me all know if you enjoy. This tickle session was supposed to be between Virgil and Thomas, but Logan somehow managed to weasel his way into it.

Without further ado:

Work Hard, Sleep Harder

by: cefstickles

Words ~ 2,722 ~

(No ship)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This wasn’t the first time a situation like this had occurred, and Virgil knew it wouldn’t be the last. Still, the darker aspect never liked the aftermath of Thomas’s choices if he decided to stay up this late.

“Maybe make the border’s pink.” Roman rubbed his chin tiredly as Thomas typed away on his computer. He was designing a new flyer for his appearance at an upcoming con and Princey was helping him with formating. Or trying to at least. The Regal aspect was having a hard time keeping his eyes open, let alone making sense of what was going on around him.

“Pink would be a suitable color.” Logan was having the same issues. He knew that everyone including himself was falling asleep and it was only a matter of time before Roman zonked out, thus ending Thomas’s ability to keep decorating for the night. Not only was the logical aspect tired, but he could not think straight for the life of him.

“Ugh...its too bright.” Virgil just wanted to sleep. He didn’t care if they finished the flyer tonight or not. “Look. Can’t we just...finish this tomorrow? We are all tired and Patton fell asleep three hours ago. Not to mention Royal Playboy over there needs his beauty sleep.”

Roman tried to shake himself out of his daze only to be met by the same drowsiness once again. “I’m not a...playboy…” It was at this moment that Roman lost his balance and face planted into the floor. Both Virgil and Logan huffed in amusement, but they had to hold back their chuckles as they heard the fanciful trait begin to snore.

Thomas immediately stopped typing and put his head down on the table. “Darn it Roman! I lost my idea.” The royal trait didn’t answer, but continued snoring, confirming the fact that he was indeed asleep.

Virgil huffed as he walked down the stairs from his spot to where Roman was currently laying. “Alright Thomas. Roman is gone. WE are done for the night and we includes you.”

“Yes Thomas. I advise you heed Virgil’s advice. He does represent your body after all, and right now your involuntary functions are screaming at you to go to sleep. It’s best to not to fight it.”

“Ugh...fine.” Thomas saved his work and closed his laptop. He didn’t want to admit that he was as tired as the rest of them. He only wanted to get the flyer finished before tomorrow, so he would have time for other important matters.

Logan turned and walked over to where Roman was lying. “Are we going to carry him?” He motioned to the snoring log on the floor.

“Unless you want to let him sleep there for the whole night. But, I don’t want to deal with a grumpy Prince in the morning.”

“Point taken. I’ll hold his feet if you grab his arms.” With their combined strength, Virgil and Logan hoisted the sleeping Roman off the floor and carried him to his room. With much struggle the two were able to open the door and dump his body on top of his bed.

Thomas, seeing the two were busy escorting Roman, quickly whipped back open his laptop and continued working. It’s true he had no ideas, but with the other two aspects being awake he could at least get the skeleton of the flyer completely outlined.

Virgil and Logan both walked out of Roman’s room and closed the door behind them. Logan was about to bid Virgil goodnight when they noticed the light was still on in the living room.

Virgil rolled his eyes and just about stomped back to the living room, fed up with Thomas’s disobedience.

“Thomas! For the last time! Go. To. Freaking. Bed! Don’t make me into a replacement for Patton and drag you to your room because I will do it. You said you’d listen to me more!” Virgil almost sounded heartbroken at the last sentence.

Thomas’s head shot up. “I’m sorry! I just really want to finish this tonight.” He continued working, his mind in the zone, clicking and typing. The frustrated look on Virgil’s face could have intimidated Thomas into complying, had he been looking at him.

Logan had just about enough of this as well. He walked past Virgil up to Thomas and was about to steal the laptop from him when the latter held it away.

“Hey! I’m still working!” Thomas jumped up from his seat, closed the laptop, and held it high above his head attempting to keep it out of Logan’s hands.

The Logical trait used every last ounce of strength he had to continuously reach for it, only to keep missing with each grab. “Thomas. You are being ridiculous.”

“Swiper no swiping.” Thomas giggled waggling a finger in Logan’s face. Logic was extremely unamused. He could tell the human was tired by the amount of loopiness he was portraying. He then decided to use this said loopiness to his advantage by watching Thomas’s facial expressions and grabbing onto the laptop when he least expected it. It was now being suspended in the air by two pairs of hands.

“No Logan! Let go!”

“You know that I will not.” He frowned at Thomas, but then noticed Virgil creeping up from behind. Understanding what the darker aspect was up to, he continued to distract the human in front of him with a ‘gentle’ game of tug-a-war. All of them understood how expensive the item being fought over was, thus Logan knew agility was key.

Once Virgil had slinked his way right behind Thomas, Logan took his opportunity, extended his arms to the sky--in which Thomas had to do the same to keep his hold on the computer--and firmly grasped the sides of it with both hands.

Thomas tried to bring it down out of Logan’s hands, but the drowsiness he had been fighting off for so long was finally catching up to him, weakening the amount of strength he had left.

It was at this moment Virgil struck. All the darker aspect had to do was set his fingers inside of Thomas’s armpits and his arms involuntarily clamped down eliciting a couple loopy giggles from the human. At the same time, the pair of hands NOT firmly attached to the laptop slid off of it, leaving the electronic safely in Logan’s grasp.

The logical trait took a step back and a deep breath before calmly walking away to his own room. “I am putting this in a place where you will not be able to obtain it until I hand it to you tomorrow morning.”

Thomas was still giggling from the fingers resting in his armpits. “Nooooohohoho!!! I was sooooo close!!!” He tried to run after Logan but Virgil gave his fingers another wiggle, sending the human to his knees.

“The more you continue to move, the more I will tickle, so just stay still, relax and go to bed. Maybe then we can both keep what little sanity we have left.” Virgil grumpily replied.

Thomas was too busy giggling to reply, but he found the strength to get up on his feet, only to be sent back down to the ground, by the hands still trapped in his armpits.

“I swear if you try to fight me one more time, there will be no mercy.” Virgil almost found this situation amusing now. He had never gotten this intimate with any of the other sides, let alone Thomas. It almost felt good to be able to elicit laughter instead of the usual panic.

Yes he was still tired as crap, but Thomas came first, and he was going to make him go to sleep even if he had to tickle all the energy out of him.

Once more, the giggling Thomas tried to push himself off the floor back onto his feet.

“Welp. Your funeral.” Again Virgil’s fingers began to wiggle, only this time deliberately tickling with no intent of stopping. The sensations drove Thomas back down to the floor. Now, he had no chance of fighting the gravity of the situation or the tickler’s hands.

The darker aspect scratched and stroked at the soft hollows, while still keeping up his grumpy facade. He chose a different tactic and began to swirl his fingers clockwise looking for a different reaction.

“VIHIHIHIHRRRRRGGGGGEEEEE!!” Thomas managed to say his name through the heightened giggles pooling out of his mouth.

“What?” Virgil shrugged defensively. “You’re the one that asked for this not me. Geez, now I understand how you guys all feel when I keep you up at night. Heh. Karma am I right?” Due to the situation at hand, Virgil could feel a childish smirk growing on his features. He stopped to give Thomas a break before he knelt down to look at him square in the face.

“So. Are you going to bed now, or do we have to keep doing this all night? You of all people should know how stubborn I am. And lucky for you, I just got my second wind. Also, let me remind you of how weak and tired you are right now. You stand no chance whatsoever against me.” He let the smirk develop into an evil grin, to which Thomas just kept giggling.

“Ihihihih sthihihllll Waaahahahahnt my Laaahahahptop!!!”

“Not going to break eh? Well...I can fix that. I mean…” Virgil reached a hand squeezed Thomas’s side eliciting a squeak. “You should know how convincing I can be.” He reached out another hand and began squeezing both of Thomas’s sides up and down with varying intensities and speeds.

Thomas was now writhing on the ground with laughter bubbling out of his lungs, pleading for the darker trait to cease his attack.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHP!!! PLEAAHEEEHEEESE!!!”

Virgil glanced up to the ceiling and clicked his tongue as if to think. “Mmmm...nah.” He spidered his fingers up to Thomas’s ribs, teasing the little spaces in between.

Thomas snorted and his laughter dwindled down to small light giggles as he laid unable to fight back against the fingers grazing his ribcage. Virgil was now smiling as he continued his tickle assault. “Man. I kind of have to admit that I’m actually enjoying this, as odd as it seems.”

“Do you require some assistance?” Virgil’s head jolted up as he spotted the Logical aspect leaning against a wall with a neutral expression. Anxiety’s face flushed and hands stilled as he realized Logan just heard what he said. Regardless, he shook his embarrassment off and invited him over.

“Sure. Knock yourself out.”

“Waaait!! No! I can’t handle Both of you!!” Thomas was exasperated.

“That is the point Thomas.” Logan walked over expression unchanging. “You need to go to bed, but you refuse to. It is our job as your sides to tell you when to go to bed, and punish you if you disobey.”

Virgil swore he heard a bit of teasing in Logan’s voice, but pushed it aside as Logic sat on the human’s legs.

“Nohohohoho!! Please not my feet!!! I’ll go to bed I swear!”

Virgil frowned. “Well that’s a shame. I was just getting started.”

“And I just sat down, but after the trouble you put us through Thomas, I do not feel like moving.” Logan glanced towards Virgil. “Revenge?”

Virgil grinned. “Oh hell yes!”

“No no no no no no no!! I’m sorry guys! I promise I won’t do it again! Just let me go to bed!!!” Thomas had no hope of escaping his two captors as they dove into their kill. Logan had already pulled off Thomas’s socks and shoes and was now scuttling his fingers along his soles. The occasional wandering finger trailed up to gingerly stroke the ticklish skin in between and under his toes.

Virgil had rolled up Thomas’s shirt to expose his tummy and was now dancing his fingers on the sensitive skin. All of these sensations drove Thomas mad with laughter. He couldn’t even speak he was laughing so hard. But his breath failed him more when one of Virgil’s fingers found its way into Thomas’s belly button. Neither aspects could deny the grin on their faces at the state the human was in. But, Logan wanted to take it a step further.

“Virgil. Try his neck.”

“Oh? Heh. With pleasure.” The instant Virgil touched his neck was the instant Thomas squealed. His neck was so sensitive that every stroke felt like a thousand feather tips tickling all at once. With all ten of Virgil’s fingers wiggling against his most sensitive spot, thomas was a cackling, blushing mess.

“Aw...it can’t be that bad can it? Tickle tickle, Thomas.” Virgil teased having a genuine smile plastered on his face. He looked back to Logan who had stopped tickling Thomas’s feet to give the darker aspect an eyebrow raise.

“What? Stop looking at me like that.” The smile was instantly gone from Virgil’s face and replaced with a defensive look. Logan gave Virgil no comment and looked past him to Thomas’s face. The human was being tickled so much his laughter became silent and he was crying tears of joy.

“I believe he has had enough.”

“Yeah. I’d say so too.” Virgil and Logan both got off of him at the same time and went to observe their handiwork. Thomas was covered from head to toe in sweat. Not to mention he was still giggling and shaking from the tickling sensations still crawling all over his body. His chest was heaving as he looked up at his two sides, struggling to find the air for his next words to them.

“Thank…...you….guys……”

Thomas’s eyelashes fluttered and batted begging for release from the conscious world. And just like Princey had done, he fell asleep. Right then. Right there.

Virgil smiled warmly at the human happy that he finally was able to rest. But also happy because he felt a stronger connection with the person whose life he was a part of. Of course he would never admit it to any of the other sides, but this last half an hour had made his existence all the more worthwhile.

“Ready to carry a second sleeping log?” Virgil turned his gaze to Logan with amusement sparkling in his eyes.

Logan surprisingly smirked back. “Yes. I believe so.” And with that they carried the sleeping Thomas to his room and dumped him on his bed, just like Roman.

Logan said his goodnight to Virgil and calmly left the room leaving the darker aspect alone with Thomas. Tonight had opened Virgil’s black heart just a little bit more. He felt the bond strengthen between him and this human. Satisfied at their current state of peace and mind, he carted a hand through Thomas’s fluffy hair, further relaxing the sleeping form.

“Goodnight Thomas.” He carefully pulled the covers over the body and tucked him in. At that moment, Virgil almost wanted to give him a goodnight kiss, but thought better of the action because he wasn’t Patton. He slinked to the door stealing a glance behind him, before shutting it completely after he was outside.

He turned to walk to his room, but found the Logical aspect, once again leaning on the wall, this time with a smirk on his face. Virgil’s smile instantly faded and was replaced by a defensive glare. “You say anything about this to anyone and you’ll be in a much worse state than Thomas was.”

Logan raised his eyebrow once again. “What makes you think I am ticklish?”

“Ugh!” Virgil just rolled his eyes. “Just go to bed so we can forget about tonight.”

But Logan was already gone, and his room door already shut much to the darker aspect’s relief. He too walked to his own living quarters shutting the door behind him. He didn’t even bother to take off his clothes before flopping into bed. Virgil just wanted to sleep and as he snuggled into his pillow, sleep is what he got.

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[chocolatewraith]

Thorns of Yesterday  - Ch. 2

Sooooo... Long wait for this update... I am not good with social media but I try! Depression has a good way of keeping me in bed and asleep and... not wanting to do anything but I digress. This chapter is kinda long-ish.

Takumi x F!Corrin/Kamui (Fire Emblem Conquest storyline)

Warnings! - Major Spoilers. Character death, angst, implied incest* (but not actually, please read the A/N), comfort, hurt, yandere, smut (later... maybe) A/N -  Okay. I’m going to say this now so as to not have any “omg you like incest” No. No I do not. There are many reasons why I say NO. If you haven’t played Fire Emblem Fates I suggest you do so, or at least look up the Avatar - Corrin. The next chapter blatantly states why this is not actually the case. This is hard to explain unless you idk... KNOW THE PLOT OF THE GAME. Also this is going to be written from Takumi’s POV for the majority of the fic. Enjoy!

Screams.

The ground quaked beneath my feet. “W-What happened here?” I was in disbelief, scanning the now ravaged plaza. Where there was once a bustling crowd now stood silence; there were no sounds, no faces, just empty, lonely, nothingness. In the centre of the fractured square stood a hooded figure, and before his gaze was - Corrin, cradling our mother in her arms. Shock took the breath from my lungs and I turned and saw my sisters turn pale.

‘Mother.’

“You there! Show yourself!” Ryoma lunged at the figure, only for it to vanish as a blood curdling scream rang throughout the plaza. It was Corrin. She had become enveloped in a bright light and where my sister once stood a dragon had now taken her place.  “A dragon?!” The words left me faster than I thought them. Ryoma and Hinoka immediately took a defensive stance in front of Sakura as Azura stayed silent, watching the dragon carefully. She stepped towards the creature only to be startled by an arrow coming between them. Nohrians. ‘ Damnit all! This isn’t the time! Nohrian scum.’

“We’ll have to deal with IT later, for now we have to take care of these assholes!” I shouted as I readied my bow and aimed for the nearest goon.  My siblings ran to my aide and we quickly bested our foes. With the threat of the invading Nohrians vanquished I now turned to face Corrin, who was still in her dragon form. Azura began to walk towards the dragon. ‘Oh. Great. Now that the smallfry are done for we have another problem to deal with! That thing. I almost forgot.’ “Azura stay back!” Ryoma warned. She persisted nonetheless.

Corrin still remained in her dragon form as Azura began to sing, approaching it slowly. Feeling cornered, it raised an appendage and knocked her to the ground. My grip on my bow tightened, gauging the situation. ‘If she doesn’t return to normal I’ll end this myself.’ The song backfires and a now enraged dragon throttles Azura, pressing down on her throat. We ready our weapons, eyeing the two of them warily, Hinoka looked ready to throw herself in front of Azura. 

‘Come on Corrin. I don’t really want to kill you but I will if I must. Come back.’

“Kill me if you want. But do it as yourself”. Soon after she had said this, the dragon began to fade and Corrin reemerged. ‘She’s back. Thank the gods.’ She staggered at first and looked pained and confused. “I remember it all...” She began to weep. ‘Fantastic. Here come the waterworks. Just what we need.’ I put my yumi away, irritated, shaken, secretly glad but also not willing to listen to her self-pity. “I remember the day Garon kidnapped me. Father died to protect me as well. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry I couldn’t see this coming.” She continued.

‘Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re upset about? After all that’s happened you pity yourself?’ After everything that had transpired, this was the last straw. “Your apology means NOTHING. This is all your fault! Mother is dead and so are countless others. And it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t shown up on our doorstep.” I regretted the words as every time they left my lips. I knew it wasn’t true, but I continued.

“You don’t belong here!” The words echoed in the empty plaza as she stayed silent through my rant but Ryoma quickly jumped in to stop me. “That’s enough, Takumi! Garon sent her here as a pawn. I’m sure of it. I assume that sword was a present from him as well” She nodded. “This was a trap and he used you to complete it.  We will not speak of this outside of our circle, lest the entire nation be thrown into chaos.” He warned.

We began to walk away when we heard a faint rattling. From the rubble of what was once a statue came a sword, it was drawn to her and flung itself into her hand. “A sword?” She remarked. Ryoma stared at the blade in awe, as he spoke, “Can it be true? The legendary Yatogami?”. “The Yatogami? What is that?” She questioned, examining the blade. “The Yatogami is a fabled weapon of yore. Only those chosen can wield the sacred blade”.  I was taken aback. ‘You’re kidding me. She’s the chosen one?’  Before I could complain any further Hinoka spoke up, “Come. Let us return to the castle and let the others know what happened.”

 It was a silent and painfully long walk back to the castle. Once we had returned Corrin remained behind and was laid in bed as a physician tended to her wounds. Azura stayed behind to make sure turning into a dragon didn’t do any physical trauma to Corrin’s body. “Ryoma, what do we do now?” Hinoka sighed. “We hold a meeting, call our retainers as well as Yukimura. This is going to be a long night.” He nodded in Sakura’s direction and she quickly went to go round up the retainers and find Yukimura. Once everyone gathered in the great hall and my brother explained what had happened, keeping certain details out to protect Corrin.

“So… You’re saying that the queen died to save her? Then… Then this is all her fault!” Oboro snarled and threw her staff down, while others murmured similar thoughts. Everyone started to become heated, angry, as was I. They began to grow louder and argued as to whether or not Corrin should stay. I still didn't trust the girl and the loss of our mother was too much for me.’Nohrian wench. She came back only to torment us. If only Rinkah hadn’t brought her back. If only we hadn’t had that stupid ceremony. If we only had taken her weapon. If only.’ My thoughts began to blur and I began to openly ramble, “I agree. This is all her fault. Nohrian scum. We should never have let her back here. She was probably working for them all along. We shoul-”

“TAKUMI!” Ryoma’s sudden roar silenced the room. It remained so until Yukimura chimed in. “S-since we've debriefed everyone, let us adjourn for tonight and talk about succession and other duties tomorrow morning. Is that alright Lord Ryoma?”  Scanning the faces of the group Ryoma nodded. “Agreed. Everyone leave, except you Takumi”.  The hall slowly emptied, leaving only me and my brother to fill it.

He walked to the steps of the throne and patted the spot next to him, I could see that I was in for a lecture. ‘Well, let’s get this over with.’ I had only taken a few steps forward when he had asked, “Why do you hate Corrin so much? She’s our sister”. I froze. He was right. I had no real reason to hate her, she was taken from us by force, held captive for years, but for some reason I couldn’t help but despise her. I know it wasn’t really her fault. I hadn’t quite realized my feelings for her yet, and a part of me believes that Ryoma already had an inkling.

“I don’t hate her.I don’t really feel anything particular towards her. She’s a stranger to me. Sister or not. I don’t care”. Now there’s a lie if I ever said one. I folded my arms in front of my chest. ‘Ok well maybe I do care. A little.’ As if hearing my thoughts, my brother raised an inquisitive brow. “Well if you don’t hate her, then why do you show such hostility towards her? She hasn’t done anything to you” He questioned. ‘Crap. He got me there.’ I was pacing back and forth in front of my brother, talking to myself, wondering why. I took a seat next to him. “The things that I said were just in the heat of the moment. I was angry. I know it’s not her fault but none of this would have happened if she hadn’t come back.” I spoke softly now. Looking down at my hands. ‘I’m sorry but it’s true, even if it’s only partially.’ 

Ryoma gave me a pathetic look, like the doting older brother he is. He calmly spoke to me. “Takumi, I understand that you’re hurt. We are all grieving... You want to hear what I think?” Sure. Why not. What more could he have to say to me. “What?” I sighed. He got up from the steps, patted me on the head and began to pull something out from his hakama. “I think you should read this. It’s from Queen Mikoto.” He shoved an intricately decorated scroll into my palm as he left the hall.  I sat there, staring at the scroll, then at the empty throne where our mother once sat. ‘What is so important for me to know that Ryoma thinks I should have this?’ I carefully examined the scroll, the seal held the insignia of the royal family. “What is it you couldn’t tell me in person? Mother...”

[tossing-cookies]

Hi!!! I was just wondering if you could write a sick!haru and caring!makoto or something along those lines?? That would be awesome thanks!!

SO FINALLY THIS IS FINISHED. 

The first time I tried to write it, for some reason, the Tumblr page force-refreshed itself and I lost ALL of what I had been writing. SOOOOO I had to start all over again from the beginning, and it was really frustrating! 

BUT THE STORY WAS SUPER FUN AND A CHALLENGE BECAUSE I’VE NEVER REALLY WRITTEN SICK!HARU BEFORE SO YEAH

Thanks for the request, and again, I am so sorry for the wait!!

–

When Makoto let himself into Haru’s house, he expected to be metwith the same scenario he dealt with every day. Haru would be in his bathingsuit, submerged in the bath, completely oblivious to anything else but thefeeling of water cradling him. Makoto would enter, remind him of the time, thendrag the dolphin-boy out of the bath to go to school. Instead, the housewas dark, the bathroom was empty, and the tub was bone dry. 

Baffled and afraid something may be wrong, Makoto called out tohis friend. “Haru?” He paused and listened for a response. When he gotnone, Makoto decided to check upstairs, thinking that maybe Haru hadaccidentally slept in. That in and of itself was not like Haru, but he couldhave forgotten to set an alarm for all Makoto knew.

“Haru?” Makoto rapped his knuckle lightly against the door toHaru’s bedroom. Again, all he heard in return was silence, so he turned theknob and let himself cautiously into his friend’s room. It was dark, and ittook a moment for his eyes to adjust enough to see.

The bed was empty. The blankets were strewn over the side, andthe pillow was on the floor. Confused, Makoto scanned the room, but found nosign of his friend. He was growing concerned, and just as he was about to turnand head back downstairs to check the kitchen, he heard a cough echoing softlyfrom down the hall. Makoto started at the sound, immediately moving toward it.

He stopped in front of the door to the upstairs bathroom. Thedoor was cracked, and the light was off. “Haru?” Makoto called, cautiouslypushing open the door and knocking on it simply for propriety. “I’m coming in,”he warned in case his friend was indecent, half expecting to find the room vacant;however, when he stepped inside, his heart clenched in worry.

Haru was collapsed on the ground, hugging his belly as he lay onthe floor. He was visibly shaking, a pale, sweating heap before the toilet. Theboy’s face was ghostly pale, and it was clear that he had been vomiting fromthe smell of sick in the air.

“Haru!” Makoto gasped, dropping his bag to the floor and rushinginside. He fell to his knees beside his friend and had his hands on him,shaking and squeezing his arm gently. Haru responded with a groan and his eyes,that had been screwed shut, cracked themselves open. Relief washed over Makotoas he realized his friend was conscious. “Haru, are you all right? Whathappened?” He asked worriedly.

Slowly, painfully, Haru began trying to sit up, his stiff bodyunfolding and weakly trying to push himself up. Makoto immediately assisted, carefullyhelping him sit upright. Once up, Haru leaned forward to lay over the toilet,panting and swallowing thickly. “…Got sick,” he mumbled, barely audible.Another cramp in his belly made him wince and moan pitifully.

Makoto’s hand cupped Haru’s forehead, feeling the heat againsthis palm. “You’re burning up, Haru,” he sighed, drawing back his hand to knead hisforehead as he started to calm down from the momentary panic. “Do you feel likeyou’re going to get sick again?”

The sick young man resting over the toilet nodded blearily, hismouth watering and leaking a thin stream of bile into the bowl. The agony inhis stomach had not ceased since it started. Even throwing up had notalleviated it in the slightest. His stomach was tied in tight knots, burning,gurgling, cramping. “…My stomach hurts,” he complained, his voice sounding asexhausted as he looked.

Sympathetically, Makoto began to gently rub Haru’s back, the healof his palm pressing soothing circles into his friend’s shoulder blades. “You’llbe all right,” he encouraged in a soft voice, preparing himself mentally forthe inevitable bout of sickness he would bear witness to.

The hiccups started again, Haru’s stomach muscles tensing andhis back arching. Within a matter of seconds, the hiccups turned to gags. Hesucked air deeply through his nose, trying to breathe between the spasms in hisbelly, but this resulted in air getting trapped in his tight throat. Consequently,a burp pushed itself up and took with it a hot stream of bile.

It did not stop there. Sickness came in one wave after another,loud gagging echoing through the small bathroom. Relentlessly, Haru’s bellysqueezed out every drop it had inside, leaving him dry heaving until his throatwas raw and felt like it was bleeding. Each contraction of his stomach musclesbrought an unproductive retch that wracked his entire trembling body.

Makoto continued rubbing his friend’s back and waited patientlyfor Haru’s stomach to calm down. When it finally did, the young man broke off astrip of toilet paper and wiped the shiny film off Haru’s lips before flushingit down with the rest of his stomach. “There. Feel any better?”

The only difference Haru could feel was the emptiness in hisbelly and the soreness in the muscles of his abdomen and back. His stomachstill hurt, and he felt incredibly nauseous, but he knew he was entirelydrained. “No,” he responded simply as he began to shift uncomfortably. Hewanted to get up and into bed, but he felt so weak. He could hardly move on hisown.

Seeing Haru trying to stand, Makoto grabbed his arm and slung itover his shoulder. Slowly, he pulled the sick man upright, supporting hisweight with his body. “All right, let’s get you back to bed,” Makoto said witha nod, noting the grateful expression that flashed on Haru’s face briefly.

Keeping his pace slow, Makoto walked Haru down the hall and intohis bedroom. Once under the covers, Haru pulled the blankets up to his chin,the shivering still visible through the comforter. Makoto grabbed an extrablanket from the closet and draped it over the bed, hoping to warm him up abit. “Try to get some rest. If you can hold it down when you wake up, I’ll getyou some medicine for your fever and some water.”

Haru nodded sleepily, his tired body desperate to return to thesleep that had been so rudely interrupted by his stomach’s revolt. At timeslike these, he never felt more grateful for Makoto stopping by every morning towalk to school. If his friend had not come, Haru knew he probably would havebeen laying in the bathroom by himself all day until he could drag himself tobed somehow. With a trash barrel next to his bed, Haru quickly fell asleep,Makoto sitting on the floor at the end of the bed to make sure he would be allright.

[somedaypast-thesunset]

this mentally ill person causes an extreme amount of chaos in my life which is completely not needed because although i lack certain things - i could probably get by without them. like im going to be sad and whatever but im not going to die and ill find a way to live. 

but their illness absolutely causes many of my issues to be triggered which does not in anyway allow me clarity in the moment because i am still working on my issues. and heres what i can give to myself: i never ran away. ive been knocked down and shit on and dragged through the mud and as much as ive even wanted to - ive never run away and i never gave up. this is my strength. this is the resilience. 

i have alot of complex feelings about this and i want to not entangle all of them into this giant lump of grief and sadness but to address each part of it and work through each part on its own to complete the big picture. and i feel im doing this in my own life like ive gone from complete mental break downs to just being really sad. my immediate thought is not ‘i want to fucking die’. like maybe i feel this way and its one of the thoughts but its not the first one. its not the overwhelming one anymore. and i cant even express how this has made things better for me. i am able to cope so much moe when im not in an anxiety attack like death could truly be imminent just by my own hands. 

like heres an overwhelming fact: no one will ever give a fuck. no one will ever really want to help. 

one day im sure ill be romantically surprised by the prince charming that changes everything for me but until that day comes - ive spent a decade involved in other peoples lives because i have no life of my own. i have no family, no traditions, no holidays. no one can join me for a thing - i join them. 

and heres another overwhelming fact: this is not remotely fair. i was dealt a really shitty hand and its not fair but nothing changes this. nothing changes that its not fair. i will not get my parents back. i will not have a family i grew up with. its not fair. this is just a fact, not whining - it’s not fair that this happened. and of course “life is not fair” but its truly not fair to have your parents die at an early age. its not fair to have a child die young. theres many not fairs. its just .. not fair. 

what do i do with this information? this is like .. a real turning point to make. 

i guess to start, how do i feel? and i feel... sad. and frustrated. and lke.. i wish the world was a better place. im angry that like.. people really take for granted what they were just handed and i dont know how to stop being super bitter about it. im not even pissed i didnt live a glamorous life but the older i get the more i realize that my parents were completely and totally unfit parents to their core. and like this is so hard to admit because i loved my father soo much and this person did so much for me and my ungrateful mother but he did so little as well. 

and i repeat this cycle. i was given such little attention as a child that i am absolutely grateful for something i should have gotten purely out of love. like why do i walk around with “i never asked for this” tattooed on me? since i was a small child i just felt like - wow i never asked to be here you know. like im not TRYING to be here. i was just popped out of the womb and now im like this giant burden to your life and like my mother didnt care at all and she held sooo much resentment towards me. and this is what i knew. this is all i have ever known in my whole life. mentally ill people who are completely incapable of caring for anoter human being making me an intregal part of their lives. 

and what really has confounded me for years is whether or not i am mentally ill. like is everyone around me crazy or am i the crazy one? and its like -- no one knows the isolation ive had except me. and they take this as like being lazy or unsociable but ive been terrified to go out and interact with people because am i the crazy one or are they? 

but as i get older i realize i honestly may not be the mentally ill person. how could one ever tell this when ive been under duress since i was 3? its not that i am mentally ill its that im reacting to my surroundings like any normal human being. i am not psychotic or paranoid, i dont have delusions or an ego. im actually, i believe, a pretty fine and sane person who appears mentally ill under these scenarios. i thought i had a mood disorder - no, i just live an extremely stressful life. and have for like two decades. of COuRSE i feel different things quickly and without regard. of COURSE. thats a REACTION to the scenario, usually of which is completely abnormal. 

and there is not a single person in my life to pat my back and be like hey, its okay to feel this way you know. its okay that youre angry. its okay that youre sad. ive begun developing the voice in my head that will be this person. i realized its the only way i will be able to survive. when ram dass said you are not your depression, i realized i am not any of my emotions. i am just feeling these things. and there is a reason why i am feeling them. im not just waking up rying to feel this way. thre is a root problem.

but when you are surrounded by mentally ill people, they suck you into their illness and you react to this. so not only do i have my own issues im dealing with seperately on my own but now i have these issues coming up begging to trigger certain emotions and thoughts in me which really are not issues im capable of dealing with because IM not  a therapist or a trained professional and i can barely navigate my own life right now. but i work especially hard not to have this fall on other people. i understand that i was handed this deck. no one else was handed it. this is for me to do what im going to do with it. so i blame no one for me not having parents. it is no ones responsibility to fill their roles. or even be a family member to me. 

for example; hearing constantly about how this political system doesnt work or poor people are disadvantaged or the city is corrupt etc. -- all facts im well aware of which linger in my mind on a daily basis which i have to fight with everything i have to get out of bed and keep doing something. but now i have it being reiterated to me as well on a regular basis and my desire to do anything has dwindled to nothing. 

i have become trapped in this non relationship because it was easy for him to get what he wanted by giving me just a bit of what i wanted. he has been very very very selfish from the beginning because he knows he will not be monogamous or fulfill my emotional needs but continues to maintain this non relationship. he believes i am responsible because he “told me this” and i continued to be involved with a mentally ill person who spent all of his time with me, usually by his own choice because again, it was “easy for him”. he reiterated ENOUGH times that he believes i need to be cared for and that he has done everything he is currently possibly able to do within his own means to care for me. 

but its kind of like .. this stray dog. like you know this dog needs care despite its survival on its own and you feed it every once in awhile maybe give it a bath, hang out with it for awhile but you never give the dog what it needs. 

and also, you’re treating me like a dog. as if i have no emotional brain to feel what it’s like for someone to treat me like this. as if i dont know that you have a home. and you have all the things you need. and youre just feeding me scraps because you feel bad. 

ive lost respect for him because hes running. its not even a jealousy issue becuse i know if i went away for three months and returned, all of my problems would still be there. my parents dont come back in thre months. he never tried to improve his situation and instead ran away from it and ive just lost alot of respect for him for doing that. 

and if i cant respect him i dont know if i can even be his friend. 

and he has not shown appropriate respect for my own issues either so what i am feeling right now is just an overall lack of respect for this person. like i still love them but i feel like i cant hold my own head high or like sleep at night knowing i dont respect this person but im still supporting them. its like nikki sixx. i dont respect him anymore and i probably will never support his projects again. but i had such a deep love and adoration and like i still have that first love kind of feeling like this person really influenced my life and i owe their character alot for my character but omg do i not respect him at all. could i never look at nikki sixx again?

no. 

and thats the confliction. like it does not matter what he does at all. it matters what i do and what i decide upon this and how important he is to my life. i lost all respect for my ex when he cheated and lied. u know its the lieing. its not even the cheating. im not even mad about the cheating, its the lies for months on end. like what a mar on your character. thats who you are now. youre a person who lied. do i still look at him?

yes. do i still talk to him? no. did i talk to him? yes. because being so young i didnt know how i would feel in this scenario like this was anther nikki sixx. five years out of the gate - i would not watch video games to this day if i didnt have this relationship and this is like the most comforting thing in all of my life. like even beyond weed, the most comforting thing is just some guy playing video games. and thats only from my ex. i wouldve never developed this comfort in watching games had i not ha this experience. now thats apart of who i am. and i think about him atleast 10 - 20 times a month. easily. i think about the time we spent together, i think about how much i loved him, how much i loved his guitar playing -  i felt really lucky at the time and that this would be the man i would marry and spend the rest of my life with. i wanted to do this. 

and i talked to him because i wanted this sooooo bad i hoped that he could say or do something that would regain my respect and nothing he did or said made it any better. i never regained respect for him. and its because the action was already done. i dont think i could forgive an abuser, you know? like i dont think i could get punched in the fucking face and be like oh it was just one time they changed. they did not change at all they just learned to not do that again because the consequences are dire. the action is already done. you were a working brain of a person before you cocked your fist and then you completed the action and NOW you’re sorry? NOW you learned? 

i think he is not a person right now you can currently admire or respect. and like nikki sixx, he gave me alot. like alot of negative experiences whch couldve been much worse that allowed me the opportunity to learn about myself. life is not fair and life couldve been some fucking piece of shit jamming a dick down my throat. and like for the position im in thats actually alot more likely to happen to someone like me so its lucky that i encountered some mentally ill jerk off living with his mother. 

to be fair, i guess hes right - he hasnt BEEN someone to respect or admire. he has sat on his high horse while crying and then running away. and i cannot at any point n the future see myself saying “wow good job you abandoned all your responsibilities to work on yourself.” because again - you abandoned them; they werent taken from you. you took for granted what youve been given and then took advantage of your priviledge to “take a break from it” and that’s just not respectable in the least bit. no matter if you come out of this as jesus fucking christ - if jesus murdered a dude before he was crucified - fuck jesus. 

i feel as the mostly not mentally ill person n ths situation as i look down upon it i see this person running away and realizing how much they took for granted and how poorly they treated me and the love that i actually provided to them. this of course will take weeks, if not months to realize as lonliness sets in and no one is really interested in being friends with someone mentally ill or he encounters similar situations. 

what i feel like right now is that i have a choice. i could gamble upon my gut feeling whch could very well lead to repeating a cycle again; hes “not monogamous”. so even if he were to realize anything at all, it remains tht hes “not monogamous” and i would have to gamble two years worth of hearing that against it suddenly changing (it wont.) 

or i could walk away and commit myself to the knowledge this person is mentally ill, unlikely to get better an caused a large amount of pain in my life so i should not maintain any communication with them because mentally i will always be thinking like.. i dont care. go fuck yourself. and in turn never provide them with anything they are looking for from me. 

because i would also not detriment any future relationships with maintaing contact with him. not because i would be some cheater but because he has proven to make inappropriate and disrespectful comments to other peoples spouses when he has a failed relationship with the person. and i want to respect my future partner enough that they wont have to endure that kind of treatment from someone who thinks they know me on an intimate level. 

i made a comment some weeks ago like i’m not going to walk away, i know you’re ill and unlike other people i’m not going to blame you for it. and he said that that had made him feel good and like he could lessen the anxiety of going away to work on his illness and then tonight he commented that i would probably “fuck off” within a few days of him leaving. 

and then i think about asia o’hara. and how this is my only reference to anyone without parents in any circumstance that is moderately close to my age. and like all these things she does and says - i get it. i know where its coming from. and one of the last few thngs she said on the runway was that she was put on this earth to serve. and you will feel that way when you lose parents or they become ill before they die. you are here to serve an make other peoples lives better. and  feel that. ive felt that. i felt that standing in my fathers living room realizing no one would ever know what this was. if i did not exist my fathers life wouldve been worse. so my existences purpose was to make his better. not to like go out and succeed and be amillionaire and put him in a house. but to serve, to make it my life to make another persons life better and i could expect absolutely nothing at all for it. like my life mightve gotten worse for it. but to this day i am not regretful at all. i couldve went to school and had luxurious jobs and did all the things. i couldve. but instead i stayed home and cared for this stubborn sick man who got up every day for 35 years at 4am to drive a transport truck on winter canadian highways for 14 hours a day. my existence was to see that. i was supposed to see that. i was put on this earth to see my fathers life and to honor that he existed and he worked and he lived and he breathed and people should know this. 

she said, “ive learned that friendships have become extremely important and i treat them like family to me” and thats not wrong. thats another person just like me who is saying because i have no family, the people in my life are going to take a bigger step because i do not have the responsibilites or obligations to distract me from helping the greater good. 

and m so sad. i could scream from teh top of my building how sad i am and cauterwall like a cat in heat. and im hurt. and im so many things.

but this sick man, who is leaving for months, took the time to ave this conversation because i began the threat that what we currently had was going to be over on his return. and we cannot define what this is. but if you believe you will return and i will be adoring and in love and fascinated and interested by all your tales - probably not. and he is saying, “i may never see you again”, “i cant make any commitments to you.” “i cant tell you whats going to happen” and the ease of the relationship has ended, and he is saying “we are broken up, this is not a relationship anymore” but the conversation continues. no.

no.

its not a conversation as i sit silently tears streaming down my face as he rants on and on about things, contradicting himself at every turn. and hes “angry” but hes not angry, and hes upset that he’s worried about me like he’s never been in love before. he’s upset he doesnt want to leave because hes worried about me like hes never been in love before. and it all sounds so .. psychotic. and he hangs up, and i call back and he answers and he doesnt want to do this and he cant do this and hes done everything he possibly can for me. 

i could choose to put myself aside and serve the “greater good” of this person “becoming better”. and by doing this i take full acknowledgement that i could receive absolutely nothing in return. i could be shit on again. i coul watch this person fall in love with someone else (they will) and i have to have the strength to be happy for them because theyve reached “better”. i guess im like.. disappointed in myself that im not better than i thought i was because of my history. like i should be able to accept this opportunity to fulfill my fucking existence but im really ... begrudging my exstence because im still resentful for not getting anthing for my father.

like not like money or anythng but like you get literally nothing. no praise. people literally question whether you should even be applauded for it like it was your job anyways. and thats such a dark side to humanity that you have to remain positive and loyal and “happy” while witnessing all of this and carrying like the burdens this had all created for you. 

and i guess i kind of lost respect but i dont think ram dass would say thats okay because i lost respect for the fact he became worn out by being a caregiver. but only a few people in the world are legitimately care givers. you have to truly have something in your soul in order to endure the care of others. and not everyone has this. this is why we have to like super respect nurses and people like that because they are care givers. we respect mothers because they are primary (usually) care givers. they are always obligated. mom has to be there, period. many women upon giving birth learn the trait of being a care giver. and like many women will live until they give birth being selfish ungiving pieces of shit and then spend the rest of their lives caring for someone else. 

my care giving is an extremely respectable part of my character. if not the most respectable part. but i have lost alot of this trait over the past three years - i never asked my dad for anything in return. like yeah he already ~ gave me things but i never was like hey ill do ths an this for you if you give me 10$. like hes not paying me to do his groceries. hes not paying me to change his bandages. im not asking him to do that either. nor am i trading any service with him - i dont change hs bandage for him to make me lunch. i am just serving him as a care giver and you will not get anything in return and a good and true care giver expects nothing. i am no longer this person. i went kind of backwards  in life and i worry now that maybe ive become sooo jaded that maybe i will never truly be a care giver again.

and of course. of course i dont need to at all give this care to a capable grown ass priviledged man. i absolutely do not. is this even the most deserving person? 

i dont necessarily have to jump to a decision right now because the next three months will dictate it for me but i would love to break the cycle by making a commitment to myself on a decision/action i will take and living with the responsibility of that action because if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. 

and my gut says no. my depression says yes. my depression is very desperate and i think holds on to things that arent there. my gut says no, dont support ths person. our call ended with, “ill call you in a few days”. to which i feel like - why bother? i cant actually speak about how i feel about anything and ill just have to sit and listen to his stories about whatever the fuck he did. and i dont care. and i cant pretend to care and i cant pretend to be happy for his decision i barely respect. 

i dont wan tto spend my summer looking forward to his calls, you know? i just want to let it go and have my mourning period and move on. 

and maybe its shitty of me but i hope he feels guilty and i hope its hard for him. i do. because thats the result of a decision that cant be respected. and thats how you should feel when you go through with it. because honestly? none of this is real and its a projection of the fear of losing me. if it doesnt matter we wouldnt have had the conversation. 

and yes, the moment he sleeps with someone else this will all be over for me. and thats the result of being involved with someone who is monogamous. thats a choice he made and will probably make and when youre a hundred miles away, i never have to care about you or choose to see you again. like even with my oshawa ex i fet like i hope he feels like shit. not because i want to be with him but beause he deserves to feel that way. it doesnt even benefit me. you just deserve it. 

i do not regret not spending another night with a mentally ill person. i wish i couldve spent the last night with a person i loved but it wasnt able to happen. 

he told me i should “take this as a wake up call” to have “more than him” in my life nd i dont believe at all thats what it is. its a wake up call to learn how to take care of myself - n all ways. like no one else can or will or should fulfill anything in my life, i should fulfill everything that i need. so that i make a choice as to who to be around. i will have to live more frugally and learn how to moderate my pleasures. 

i am disappointed that again i feel like if i do talk to him that i will begin to lie because i want to be left alone. i do not want to be told what to do or that what im doing isnt enough. i jsut want to tell him what he wants to hear. like i want to tell him that ive gotten a job but the job is on a farm. i want to say that like im already doing what he said he wanted to do. and like i want to be fulfilled with myself so that when i lie and say that this farm is owned by some family who treated me kindly and i felt ths and this its just a personification of my self improvement. llike im half way into it anyways - i lie about a therapist to justify things i already fucking know but no one listens to me so i hve to make up ths story to make it sound like it didnt come from me and now its respectable. 

so fine. ill ‘see a therapist’ and ‘go to work’. but again, i’m not really going to talk in detail about these things. and if he asks  i would just tell him that its just something im doing and im not interested in talking about it. that it doesnt define me or anything in my life at all. it gives me an ongoing excuse to turn down phone calls or texts when im not prepared to answer them at that time as well. remaining silent is just not good enough. 

ive been a very honest person in my life and i think its time for me to be selfish in order to et myself to the next step and it sounds really stupid to be dishonest to better myself and attempt to regain my care giving traits nd maybe itll all blow up in my face and ill learn a new lesson but for now this is how im going to sleep. i will tell him its my therapists advice not to talk to him about these things until weve established a mutually respectful way of communicating and if we dont it doesnt matter what i did or did not tell him because it literally doesnt matter. if he is capable of maintaining his own interest in my life then maybe ill open up more - he can either work towards that to be a mature, respectful human begin or disregard it and any sort of relationship between us. of course, the position is just a summer job, giving me an out if ths somehow lasts the summer. 

tomorrow i have to go through excruciating pain - again for my fucking cyst and i have contract testing at some point and i really want to do these things on my own and grab my last weed for like a week and just exist. not for a week. id like to wake up and do shit on friday too. and i know so hard that depression will be the firs tthing i feel when i wake up. and as the days go on its going be even harder and sadder but i just have to figure it out an get myself through it.