aj-writes-here - Tumblr blog

aj-writes-here · 1 year ago

Text

Hello! Here's a bit of angst. Part 2 for happy ending??

Trigger warning: Angst, break up, crying. Reader is a teacher cause is the profession that came first skdjs

The Chaos Theory

The butterfly effect, or the chaos theory states that one simple event can lead to bigger events, and change the course of things, the way an action can affect directly another one.

Maybe, going to that convenience store wss your butterfly effect. Maybe, you shouldn't have gone.

However, it wasn't crazy or weird to see your boyfriend in tv, or heard people talking about him since he was a popular, yet, no one had a single clue he was dating you. For the world he was single, until that night.

You were waiting in line to get your things payed, until one of the two girls in front you of let out a tiny scream, making you furrow your eyebrows in confussion.

"What is it?" asked her friend. "Your boyfriend again?"

"Well, not my boyfriend, my husband. There's a twitter account saying Bangchan might be dating! Oh my god, do you think is true?"

Even though you tried to avoid reading those comments or being involved in the media scandal, you couldn't help but pay attention. Was it a leaked picture of you? Do I need to run? You thought to yourself. But you didn't.

"Apparently he's dating this female idol from the latest JYP group. They were seen together a few days ago, look!" The girl showed her friend her phone "They don't look that bad, do they?"

"Nope, not at all. They look great, actually. Would be a pretty couple, I ship them!"

You knew, you absolutely knew. You knew her, you knew he was going to be a guest in their new music video, you knew everything, but you couldn'y say anything. You knew Chan wouldn't even think of cheating on you, you knew Christopher. However, those thoughts were definitely not helping your rising anxiety.

It was something that had been haunting you for months, you met him when he was already popular, and you were beyond proud of everything he accomplished and keep accomplishing. You could deal with the distance whenever he went away on tour, or the nights where he'd arrive late. But you couldn't seem to deal with your own thoughts and how they were tearing you apart.

You moved back home, thinking about how different your lifestyles were, and the dark clouds were adding drama to that moment.

When night came, you couldn't control it anymore, your eyes were already teary and puffy, and you thanked god your roomate wasn't there so you didn't have to give any explanations. You put on a jacket, grabbed the keys to her car, and headed to Chan's dorm. You knew the kids were not going to be there, so it seemed the perfect timing.

"Baby? Hey! What are you—" Chan said welcoming you, but interrupting himself when his smile fade away, noticing your tired, teary eyes. "What happened, y/n?

He was about to pull you in his arms, but instead of jumping to him, you moved aside and let yourself inside the building, making Chan look at you in confussion and concern. He turned around, searching for you eyes.

"Chan we... We need to talk, can we?"

"Yeah, we need. And you're scaring me, like... a lot" he chuckled a bit, keeping his smile. But out of being nervous.

"I–..." you cut yourself, feeling your throat getting tight. "I've been thinking a lot and... Maybe..." after taking a deep breath, you looked back at him "maybe this isn't right?"

"This? What is this? Could you explain it better, yeah?" His soft eyes and patience broke you even more.

"Us, Chan." You saw Chris's eyes getting filled with pain, horror, sadness. "This is not easy to say, but... I've been thinking and... Maybe it's better if we take different roads."

"Y/n—ah... I'm not– I'm not getting anything. Why are you bringing this up? I know I don't rest that much or I'm always doing things but—" this time, you interreputed him.

"Exactly. But it is not that I'm mad about it"

"Then?"

"I don't want to drag you down, Channie..." you felt your eyes getting wet, and you bit your lower lip trying to stop your chin from trembling. "You are always trying to move your agenda, getting more time, and... Last time you already got scoled for cancelling an interview and spend the weekend with me. I–... We are from different worlds, Chan. And at some point is gonna... Is not gonna be manageable anymore. I don't want to block you from working hard and your dreams"

You said looking down, while Chan was completely frozen in his spot, his eyebrows furrowed, his adam apple moving when he swallowed hard to keep his tears.

"I'm a grown man, y/n. I do what I want, and I want to be with you, yeah? I know it's hard but-" you interrupted him.

"Chan this is not... there's a lot more behind it" you said as you felt the tears going down your cheeks.

"You read comments again, didn't you? Baby those are not true, and you know that."

Chan took a step closer and denied with his head, he wanted to hug you, kiss you, but the step you took back stopped him from doing so.

"They are, Chris." Hearing his name in that moment was even more painful "I mean, just look at you...And look at me." You sniffed, lifting your arms pointing at him but letting it fall once again "you are an idol, your world is... Unmatchable for me. I'm just a regular teacher, with a reg-" this time, he was the one to interrupt you.

"You're not just a teacher, you have a masters degree, your students love you, you make them feel better, you do much more than I do."

"But it still isn't enough, Chan. You deserve someone at your level... And... Maybe I'm not the one."

And that was the breaking point. Your words grew smaller and weaker syllable by syllable, finally closing your eyes wjth strenght as your tears fell down, uncontrolably, matching Chan's heartbeat that was going crazy, crazy not to shatter into a million pieces.

He took another step closer, finally caging you in his arms, the smell of his perfume giving you instant peace. His hand landed at the back of your head, gently pushing you against his chest.

"You are speaking non-sense...I love you, you make me wanna keep going, and... And we can carry this, yeah?" His voice was soft, yet, you could hear the sadness.

"I love you too, Chris. Way too much... That is why I have to let you go."

You lifted your head and your palm rested on his cheek, thumb caressing his cheekbone. Chan's hand grabbed yours without taking it away from his face, he couldn't.

"Don't say that, come on" at this point, his eyes were red with tears, and both of you were broken of seeing the latter fall down your faces.

"You're the best man I have ever meet, Channie. And... I just hope someone good..." You sniffed hard, being completely unable to finish that sentence. You didn't want him to be with anyone else, but at the same time you felt you were not the one. "Take care, yeah?"

You left a quick and painful kiss on his cheek, before going out as fast as possible, hiding your sobs. Chan stood there, not moving an inch in the middle of the room, only his chin trembling, and tears staining the floor.

Meanwhile, outside, seven boys were happily getting off the van, trying to cover themselves from the rain.

"Ah, Chan-hyung is going to be so happy" Felix said with a smile

"Totally, this new world tour is gonna hype him up so much" I.N added, "Oh, yn-ah is here" he said again with a happy smile when he recognized your car, making the rest of the kids smile as well.

However, you didn't even see them. Or didn't want to. The door closed behind you as you ran past the seven of them, their faces looking at you in confussion when you didn't say hi, but especially, cause they noticed the sobbing and the tears in your face. They look at each other, not understanding anything.

"Lee Know"

Changbin told him, and just by his name he understood. From a time there, you and Lee Know had a very close relation, he became pretty much some sort of big brother, and he was the one who ran after you, calling your name.

"Yn-ah!" He grabbed you by your shoulder, stopping you right before you entered the car.

"Not now, Minho" you said, a sob escaping your lips "please"

"God, I can't let you get go in that state, much less with this rain. What the hell is-" He stopped right in his tracks when you hugged him.

"Take me home, please"

You begged in a whisper, him nodding. He raised his head to look at Han, slightly lifting his shoulders to make him understand he didn't know what was happening either. But they were far from dumb, they knew something between you and Chan must have happened.

When Han turned around, the kids were already walking inside the place. When he got in, he saw Hyunjin sitting next to Chan, his head on his shoulder, and his arm around his torso. On Chan's left was Felix, patiently looking at him. Kneeling in front was I.N together with Changbin, and Seungmin was coming back from the kitchen with a glass of water. Han took a step closer to the group, and with no words he understood why their leader was sobbing hard, looking down while holding his head with his hands and covering his face as his elbows were on his thighs.

Did it really end? Was the only thought for everyone, inside and outisde the building.

Part 2?

148 notes · View notes

aj-writes-here · 1 year ago

Text

The grip this man has on me