#when he left sharlayan he did not tell anyone where he was going and it devastated little kid vej

[withheartsaligned]

"ah, the newfound hero of the bozjan resistance... you really think you can take on the reaper of the IVth imperial legion?"

[jefarawol]

The light's gone. It was all we had left of him...

Yda...

I don't blame anyone. I knew what was going to happen. I knew the spell Papalymo meant to cast would drain away his life force─I...knew that it would only buy us a little time...

Yda, there is no need to explain.

But there is. I can't hide in Papalymo's little shadow anymore and I shouldn't hide behind my sister's mask. Twenty years ago, on the day the Empire marched into Ala Mhigo, I was still just a child─not even five summers old. 

My father had been one of the leaders of the revolution. He had fought to overthrow the mad king, Theodoric. And my sister had fought alongside him. She was strong and kind, and always knew what to do. But when the Garleans came, everything changed.

My father went to war against them too, and I never saw him again. After that, I remember a lot of running. My sister dragged me for malms and malms until we came to the city of Sharlayan. That was where she met Master Louisoix. He introduced her to the Circle of Knowing, and she eventually became an Archon.

She was your inspiration. Is that not why you took up her mask and her name? ...Or did you simply mean to continue what she had started?

You've known all along, haven't you? That I wasn't Yda.

Of course. We all recognized you at once. 'Twas Papalymo who persuaded us to maintain the charade.

It was silly to think I could fool you. I knew that even then. But I...I sort of...decided not to know. Yda died six years ago, on a mission to smuggle refugees out of Ala Mhigo. They say she was overwhelmed by imperial soldiers when she stayed behind to save a little girl. She was so strong... There must have been a lot of them.

Why did you never tell me?

I'm sorry for lying to you. My real name is Lyse. When Papalymo brought me Yda's mask, it was meant as a keepsake. But I decided I wanted to be his new partner; to keep alive all the good that she had done. I didn't want to become Yda, exactly... At the time, though, I still didn't know who I was myself, and it almost seemed easier to play the role. 

Papalymo agreed to help, of course...but it was never what he wanted for me. He wanted me to walk my own path. And those were his final words to me. The Archon's mark he gave me is faded, and my last excuse along with it. So, this is it. Whatever I choose to do from now on, I do as Lyse.

...And I choose to continue my family's fight. I want Ala Mhigo to be the country that Yda and my father always wanted it to be!

[feralkwe]

“When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

Thancred. YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA ASK THIS

(i know i had this coming but i kinda hate you right now. also this got long, so it's under a cut lolsob.)

Thancred was gone when Kit woke that morning. He'd been there when she'd cried herself to sleep, but when she woke, nestled against Urianger, there was only the dip in the mattress where he'd been.

Just as baffled as she, Urianger was no help in guessing his whereabouts. It became evident that Thancred had meant to not be followed. Urianger offered to join in her search, but a sinking feeling in her gut told her she had to do this on her own. She kissed him quickly and set off.

Where did one begin to look for someone who was gifted in clandestine arts and did not wish to be found? Sharlayan was a large place, and she quickly ruled out the obvious public places. She would not find him indulging at The Last Stand, or resting on the benches. There'd been no trace of him in the Studium, and she wondered why she'd bothered checking there at all.

Perhaps it was luck, or maybe something else entirely, that she at last ventured to the Aitiascope.

She stood at a distance, having no delusions that he was unaware of her presence. A stiffness hung in the air between them, a challenge to see who would first break the silence.

His impatience wore through before she could collect words. "It's good to see some of my instincts remain intact," he said without turning around. There was an unfamiliar venom in his voice as he continued. "I knew you would come here." A deliberate choice, then, to meet her at the place she'd last seen Elidibus, who was likely at the center of what troubled him so. "Tell me, Kit, was it me or him which brought you here?"

"I told you last night," she said. "My place is with you."

"Is it?" he asked, finally turning about to face her. He planted his fists on his hips and tilted his head, expression darkening. "Because every time you come back from Elpis you're like... this." He gestured in her direction, indicating the quiet devastation that yet held her in thrall.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said, echoing her sentiments from the night before.

"No, I don't suppose you thought of me much at all." He held his arms out to the sides in a helpless shrug. "Because when it comes to Ascians, you don't seem to think of anyone else's feelings but your own."

"That's not fair," she said.

"No, it's not. It's not fair that I never seem to be your first choice." His brow crept downward toward the bridge of his nose and the green in his eyes all but flashed in the light. "I let myself believe that you love Urianger and me equally, that I wasn't just something you accepted in order to be with him. That you weren't just lonely while he was on the moon." He shook his head. "I tried to understand your fascination with Emet-Selch despite you knowing how I feel about him. But you actually traveled back in time and slept with Elidibus. I don't know if I will ever understand how you can love him after everything. Or is your endless devotion reserved for those who try to kill you?"

"I love you." Despite her sincerity, it sounded weak and desperate, and judging by the look on his face, he agreed. "I chose you."

"Maybe," he countered. "I think you even think you mean it when you say it." He tipped his head up, eyes studying the sky as the color shifted trough pinks and purples. "I have many things requiring my attention, so, tell me, Kit: when did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow? I want to make sure I can fit it in before I go."

She turned her face away, ashamed by the truth in his words even as she was angered by them. "I didn't sleep with Elidibus to hurt you."

"Well, you did, and I am unsure if I can keep allowing you to make me feel this way."

She blinked back tears, surprised she had any left. "What are you saying?" She met his eyes then, and he allowed her to hold his gaze a moment before he strode past her.

"I don't know." An honest answer, at least. "But I know I won't find the answer while looking at you."

[blissfulalchemist]

It’s time for some OC chatting over coffee! ☕️ When you get this ask, feel free to share one fun fact about an OC of your choice. Then, share with 10 (or fewer — no pressure!) others to spread the OC love.

Ahh! Thank you Macy! Have a few different random oc facts! cause i can never just pick one.....

Conner's little bi awakening/self acceptance was actually at a Green Day concert that he didn't want to go to initially but Luke dragged him there. And while Conner was thinking about it he didn't think a man could be bi entirely, well that was until Billy Joe bluntly said he liked both genders and then proceeded to kiss a man on stage. A whole new world opened up to Conner in that moment, and it was just like things made sense all of a sudden.

Alma once left home without telling anyone for two days when she was 12 to go to the butcher because she was curious on how body parts worked and what they could look like. The butcher put her with a hunter and it was on their little excursion that they came across an antelope that was freshly torn open by wolves and for just a minute she got to see how organs looked and behaved, one of which being the lungs. It was that experience and the readings of some other Kanver scholars that helped her figure out how to save Joshua when his lung collapsed suddenly not long after he was beginning to move around. She didn't have the term of collapsed lung but she figured there wasn't enough space for them to expand and it led to her stabbing him just as the older Undying members rushed into the room. No it was not a very good look for her, she almost got into some big big trouble had he not started to breathe normally again, then it was only trouble because they can't deny that she did manage to save him.

In the Final Fantasy 14 universe Stasia was born a blonde just like her father's vessel at the time. She kept it until she was 16 not long after meeting Emet-Selch when she decided to use her ability to change appearance to make it black. She only ever changed it back to blonde for a decade during the initial rising of the Garlean Empire, which her father would point out that he did enjoy her natural blonde hair as a way to get under her skin.

Siberite almost changed her name when finally free of her parents to try and better hide herself but by the time she got to the adventurer's guild and signed up she had already written down her first name, so she just opted out of a last name which led many to assume she was an orphan, a nicer dressed one, but an orphan nonetheless. Many didn't know her last name until Endwalker when she had to state it for the Sharlayan entrance paperwork. The few that knew before that were Minfilia, Thancred, Y'shtola, Urianger, and Alphinaud. The first four because they knew of her mother's request for aid in looking for her, and Alphie because he was at the dinner where Count Edmont proposed that she and Haurchfaunt get married.

Clídna was undefeated among the young men that she fought against what were also training to become shields. So much so that the Lord Commander would send the ones with too big of an ego to her as a humbling. I should technically say near undefeated as sometimes the young boys like ten and under would want to fight her and she'd let them win or have it end in a tie because she didn't find it right to crush their dreams that early.

Lance only listens to cassette tapes exclusively. Yes his daughter Sage has taught him how to use an mp3 player, and he is capable of using one, he just chooses not to. There's nothing like putting in a tape labeled "Bonfire and Cow tipping '79" with a crude drawing as the cover, and listening to the sound of the times. He has hundreds of them that are personal mixes alone which are his favorites, and he did sacrifice some of his collection to help get messages to the resistance. They were lower on the list of what he liked, but still there were some memories lost.

[thefinalwitness]

ok a lot of ppl are doing it and im just so *BUZZES* about dt so i'm gonna do it too!!! i'm gonna talk about dt and ocs!!!! the readmore contains huge and detailed spoilers so please please do not read it if you havent finished the msq!!!!

also just to set the tone of this post: i LOVED dt SO MUCH so this is going to be an extremely positive post!!!! i loved literally everything about it so ig if u hated it maybe just skip this one lmao!!

IT WAS SOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN WTF!!!! i honestly expected (and dreaded) we'd be immediately foist back into Sole Hero Of The Universe Mode, and the fact we weren't has made me SO HAPPY i decided to stick with l'aiha for dt msq!!!! this expac was PERFECT for her, a chance to learn about a new culture and get away from her mantle!!!! it's everything i could've asked for and so much more!!!!

tural is BEAUTIFUL and so detailed, i loved the rites half of the expac and the way the plot twisted midway through was really fun to me!! i've seen ppl say the first and second half feel like different stories but i honestly disagree, i think zoraal ja and sphene are perfect opposites of wuk lamat and koana, and i think getting to see how coming into your own can be done right and wrong was really neat. i think they're two sides of the same coin, the coin being the story, and while i do wish we'd had more time to set up sphene's storyline, i think all the story beats themselves are great!

i LOVE the implications of the ending too!!!! we have this artifact now that has provably opened passageways to other reflections—something l'aiha has been deeply interested in and researching since shadowbringers!!!! if this is where the next 10 years are going, i am STOOOOOOOKED

i'm also so pleased with how l'aiha and j'sera (her sister, i renamed her bc dyslexia) have developed through this expac! i wanted them to grow closer now that they're both out of their comfort zones, and that's exactly what this story gave me. l'aiha becomes deeply attached to j'sera to the point of overprotectiveness throughout the rites—then, it's decided that l'aiha should stay in tuliyollal during the barrier stuff because there are 4 wols in her canon, and ONE should stay in the city. she therefore has to let sera go, and sera gets the chance to come into her own during the second half of the expac, rising to the challenge without anyone—her sister, her mentor, her parents—to protect her. when they reunite and face zoraal ja together, l'aiha gets to see how capable sera is and how much she's grown since they left sharlayan. l'aiha no longer feels compelled to coddle her, and sera no longer needs to cling to l'aiha! it's SOOOOOOOOO GOOD.

(i've also decided that, when zoraal ja orders the second attack on tuliyollal, the dragons aren't as close as they are in canon, and l'aiha uses azem's crystal to summon them to the battle. because it's cool hehe.)

sera herself got SOOOOOOO MUCH out of this expac!!!! i haven't fleshed out all of it yet, but i definitely think dt is where she and leviathan-egi start to really bridge the gap between them. leviathan-egi deeply respected its previous master, sera's mentor, and it's reacted extremely poorly to sera. it doesn't respect her as its master, treating her instead like a kitten to defend. but like l'aiha, leviathan-egi starts to realize sera has grown a lot in tural, and that it doesn't have to do all the work alone, that they can cooperate and become stronger for it.

i did NOT expect to end up shipping her and erenville, but as the story progressed i really really felt like they were a good fit! i've decided they became friends over the three years erenville was in sharlayan, so they're already familiar with each other, and aside from wuk lamat and krile, they're only REALLY familiar with each other, so they provide one another with much needed support during so much uncertainty and newness! it's sera that goes with erenville to shaaloani, and he tells her a lot about his mom during that time, so cahciua's loss hits her pretty hard too. (cahciua also DEFINITELY knows they like each other LMAO.)

i'm still getting my thoughts together for minfilia and valensia—the expac was just SO perfect for l'aiha and sera that i basically forgot to think about them VKFNKHCCHKVM. i want to though!!! i have ideas, and i think they'll both have their own strong places in dt—i think minfilia and sphene will be SO interesting, as well as valensia and koana!!

i'm just SO happy. i think dt is maybe my new first or second fav expac. i adored every second of it, it's like it was molded perfectly out of what i wanted for l'aiha and sera especially! ough. hough!!! i'm so happy.

[hqmillioncorn]

FFXIVWrite Day twenty-three: Suit

with @windupnamazu 's Butter

“Stupid!” Babycorn kicked at the bed. “I’m so stupid!!”  Where had her powers been when she needed them?! Floating in the air? changing someone’s fate? Casting powerful spells? They had all turned out to be useless in protecting Cherrypit. And now that he was gone she couldn’t even use her powers safely! It was either him or her, and to make that decision would probably literally end up killing her.  “How could I be so stupid…”  Babycorn dropped to her knees around the shards of glass that was once a mirror. 

“Are you ready to go Bebe?” 

Tilika’s voice echoed from the outside. Inside of her room Babycorn quickly shut the small passageway she had been using to look at the world Chelinka and Yuri had remade together. “Almost ready!” Babycorn yelled back. It wasn’t entirely a lie. She was all dressed up with shoes on and only missing one thing until she was ready to go out. 

Now that she had fully accepted her identity as just another Chelinka out in the numerous worlds out there Babycorn knew what ‘she’ and her brother had done. Completely remaking the universe sounds like something that she would get super grounded for doing. 

“They all looked so happy…” She was a little jealous. Chelinka had her brother and both her parents. Babycorn only had her brother, and thanks to her stupid mistakes there was a chance she would never see him again. She would never get to tell him how much she loved him, or how sorry she was. 

Babycorn knew Cherrypit was going to be fine. Eventually he would wake up again. Everyone told her so but there was always that nagging thought that maybe she could do something about it.

She wasn’t supposed to use her Starsinger powers too much or else there would be dire consequences to it. The exact consequences were unknown to her and pretty much everyone else. Though one of those had been getting herself into a trance-like state where she looked awake but really wasn’t. 

Tilika had also said her eyes had glowed an eerie golden color the whole time. 

That sounded horrible. It only made her hate her eyes that much more. 

Babycorn sighed and picked out a hat from a pile. It was a large white sun hat, she often wore it during fishing trips all so she could pull the brim over her eyes and cover them so she wouldn't be able to see any fish. “If it works for that…” Then the hat would work to cover her eyes too. 

At least, from anyone taller than her it would. 

Which was fine because almost everyone in Old Sharlayan that Tilika talked to was taller than Babycorn anyway. It always made her really small. Doubly so because whatever it was they talked about mostly flew over her head anyway, aside from a word or two. 

“Okay I’m all ready!” Babycorn adjusted the sun hat on her head and just before she left to join Tilika outside, she happened to catch a glimpse of herself in her mirror. She hadn’t turned it around today. Her ugly yellow eyes stared right back at her, they were dripping with disappointment. 

Babycorn walked closer to the mirror and turned it away. 

That was enough of that. 

Yesterday Tilika had asked Babycorn if she had wanted to accompany her to the Studium tomorrow. Which was today. Tilika had to run some of her studies on Starsingers with one of the professors there and had thought that Babycorn might have wanted to do something else besides running cooking experiments in the kitchen with Cherrypit’s dolls. 

She was delighted when Babycorn said yes but now she was wondering if it had been too soon in taking her outside.

Tilika looked up, today was a very cloudy day. There wasn’t really a reason for anyone to wear a sun hat in this kind of weather. Which Tilika would never say outright but when she considered Babycorn’s earlier behavior it did bring some cause for concern.

“Babycorn?” Tilika waited for Babycorn to look up at her until she continued but she never did. “Are you feeling okay? Do you want to go back home and wait for me there?” 

Tilika knew that some days were worse than others for Babycorn. Sometimes there would be days where she wouldn’t care less about them, going outside and talking to all the gleamers that passed by their house everyday. Then other days Tilika would struggle to even get Babycorn to look at her. 

Today was looking to be more of the latter. 

“I’m okay.” Babycorn kept looking down at the ground. Her free hand tugged on her sling, something Tilika noticed that she did when she was nervous nowadays. “I think I’m just a little hungry.” 

“Ooooh. I see!” 

Tilika had already told Babycorn that she shouldn’t be ashamed of her eyes but it was much easier said than done. 

She knew that to Babycorn the color of her eyes represented much more than just being ‘alive’ again. It meant that in her eyes she had failed in protecting Cherrypit, she had let him get hurt and in turn had broken the promise she made to him and her parents so many years ago.

No amount of tasty snacks that Tilika gave Babycorn could ever fully solve her younger cousin's dilemmas.

“Hey I have an idea.” Tilika stopped walking and though they were just a few more minutes from reaching the Studium, she turned and began to lead Babycorn down another path. “Why don’t we go get something to eat first? I hear the Last Stand has some new food on the menu we can try!” 

“Like what?”

‘Wow she’s really in a funk…’ Normally Babycorn wouldn’t care less about the specifics of food. Tilika always got a ‘leap before you look’ sorta vibe from her. “Well…Um…?” Truth was that she had no idea if the Last Stand did have any new food, that little lie was supposed to get Babycorn excited to try new food. “I’m not too sure! But we can go eat one of those tasty burgers you liked so much!” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

Tilika mouthed a silent ‘Yes!’ to herself. While whatever problems Babycorn had with herself couldn’t be solved with a tasty snack or a burger, it certainly could help her feel a little better. Even if it was just for today. 

The Last Stand was as busy as ever, maybe even more so given that it was currently the morning rush. Though the line was just a little longer than usual, neither Tilika or Babycorn had any problem with waiting and it wasn’t like they were in a rush or anything. 

Having made their orders, both cousins took their seats and waited until their burgers were delivered to them.

Tilika watched as person by person kept walking up to them to thank them for helping to save the world. Babycorn would mumble a quiet “You’re welcome.” and then try to cover her face with her sun hat. Then Tilika would take control of the conversation, asking whoever had walked up to them how they were doing and to have a nice day. 

Just as Tilika thought another person was walking up to them to try and talk to Babycorn, someone caught her eye. It wasn’t just another stranger walking up to them, it was also someone coming to bring them their burgers.

“Good morning Tilika! Babycorn! I got your burgers! I hope you like them!”

Babycorn knew that voice from anywhere. Her head jerked up and she found herself staring at her good friend Butter. Who she had forgotten entirely was visiting Old Sharlayan for the time being. “Butts?!” What was he doing here???? Specifically?!

Butter smiled as he dropped the bag he was holding into Tilika’s hands. “I’m just helping out here a little!” He could have sworn that he told Babycorn about this already but maybe he had told her while she had been asleep in bed. “I kinda just needed something to do and..Well-this is just where I landed!” 

“Oh…” 

That’s when Babycorn realized something. 

Butter was shorter than her. 

Without so much as a warning, Babycorn jumped out of her seat and took off running, pulling her hat down as she ran. “Bebe?!” Tilika jumped up to run after her but was surprised at just how quickly Babycorn had run off, there was no sign of her anywhere. “Damn it…” Tilika whispered to herself.

Tilika decided to do what she did best and ask people around if they had seen where Babycorn had run off to, trying to gather enough clues to deduce in which direction she had run off in and where she could have gone. 

She failed to notice that Butter had also run off, just as fast as Babycorn.

“Excuse me!!” 

Butter maneuvered his way around another person that had been walking the opposite way he had been running. Being small was something that really got on his nerves sometimes but it did have its advantages. Like making it easier to run past a large group of people. 

Eventually he had followed Babycorn all the way to the edge of the water. 

Babycorn was sitting behind a large crate just out of view. She was resting her head on her knees, quietly crying to herself. 

Butter walked closer to her and stopped just short of reaching her. There was no plan for what to do next, but he couldn’t stand by and watch Babycorn be sad. If anything, Butter didn’t want to leave her to cry all by herself.

Butter carefully took a seat a little bit next to her, not too close and not too far. “Is everything okay?” Well duh! No it’s not! Why are you asking thaT?! “I-I’m sorry if I did anything it’s-!!”

“It’s my eyes…” Babycorn pulled down the brim of her hat even further, stretching it further than she ever had. The thought of ripping her hat never even crossed her mind. “They’re ugly. I hate them.” What else was she supposed to say? That was the basic gist of it, and yet despite that Babycorn kept talking.

“They just-remind me of how I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t save Cherry…”

At some point Butter must have seen her eyes at their worst, when she had been bedridden for who knows how long. Tilika told her all about how her little boy friend would come and bring gifts to her and leave in a hurry. That couldn’t have been anyone but Butter. “I’m sorry you had to see my stupid eyes Butts.” Her hideous eyes that were good for nothing but telling people that she was a failure. 

Butter gently placed his hand on her’s, once he did Babycorn’s grip on her hat slightly loosened as she turned her head just a little to look at him. 

“Um, I think they’re pretty.” 

“HeEh?!” 

That comment had caught Babycorn so off-guard that her heart started beating just a little too fast. 

Babycorn had wanted to say something like, ‘What are you talking about?!’ or ‘You’re crazy!!’ but for some reason she found herself so flustered that she found herself incapable of saying anything besides, “P-Pretty?!” 

Honestly Butter was crazy, but crazy in another sense. And for a certain person sitting right next to him.

“U-Um…! Yeah!” 

Babycorn didn’t know what to think. “Eve-Even if I let everyone down? I…I couldn’t do anything to help Cherry. Everything I could do…! I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t do anything…!” There must have been something different she could have done. Anything.

“I think…You didn’t let anyone down. Especially not Cherry.” 

Babycorn didn’t know what to think. “I…didn’t?” That couldn’t possibly be right. 

“I don’t think anyone could have done what you did any better than how you did it.” Butter leaned back and looked up at the cloudy sky above them. Having grown up the way he did, Butter understood what Babycorn was going through more than the usual person did, maybe even more. “If I had to do what you did with Pancake…I probably would have done the same things as you.”

Babycorn sniffled, “...What do you mean?”

“There’s not really a guide for kids like us to learn how to protect our younger siblings all by ourselves. I know you did your best, we both did the best we could!”

“You protected Pancake…” 

“With a bunch of help!” Cinnamon had been a big help and even then Butter wouldn’t have traded raising Pancake for anything in the world. “Then I met all of you and things just got even better!”

Babycorn couldn’t help but think back to just how mean she used to be to everyone back then. It made her feel a little bad that Butter was calling meeting her a good thing, when she was nothing but trouble. 

“Um…” Butter looked around nervously, “What I’m trying to say is um, I think you did the best you could and what happened wasn’t your fault. I’m sure of it!” 

Babycorn let her hat go, her eyes were wide and she turned to look right at Butter. 

“I-It wasn’t…?” She had already been told this countless times. There was something to be said however, to hear this from someone who knew just how hard it was to go through the same thing as you. Almost as if it was an almost perfect reflection of their experiences. Though Babycorn would never wish for Butter to understand her experiences completely. 

“It wasn’t!” Butter repeated. He still wasn’t quite sure what had happened to Cherrypit but he was still sure of his stance. No matter what. It wouldn’t be until after he left Old Sharlayan that Lunya would tell him what exactly happened. Then he would find himself weirdly disappointed when he learned that Zenos had already been killed. 

“Huh.” Babycorn slumped down, “That’s weird…” She touched one of her eyes with her hands and looked down at it.

“Hmm?” 

“I kinda feel a little better?” Not completely but a start was a start, for today.

“Oh! I’m glad!” Butter was happy he could help. Even just a little. 

The two decided to sit there and watch the ocean waves for a little while. Until Babycorn spoke up again. “So, um…?” Babycorn tapped her fingers together, “You said my eyes looked pretty…?” 

At that moment Butter realized exactly what he was doing. His face blushed a deep red. “D-Did I say that?! When did I say that?! I-I mean they are pretty but-but I mean I-?! Um…!!!!” What had gotten into him?! 

“Do my eyes look like something?!” Whenever Babycorn was able to hear Airy reading one of those cheesy B’ig romance novels to herself she would often hear lines about how someone’s eyes reminded them of the ocean or of a grassy hill or whatever. She couldn’t quite remember. 

“T-They…Look like eeeeyes…?” 

HE WAS BLOWING IT. 

“Wow! Thanks Butts!” Babycorn accepted the compliment nonetheless. Very much like a normal person would. 

Butter, an equally very normal person, found that he couldn’t quite keep his mouth shut. “I guess…They sort of remind me of the sun.” He could still remember the first time he had seen Babycorn’s eyes. It was almost like he had been blinded like the sun itself, but not in a bad way.

“...You’re not supposed to look into the sun!” Babycorn reminded him. She had learned that lesson the hard way many years ago and kept re-remembering it until it finally stuck just last year. 

“I-I mean like-sunlight?” Butter didn’t quite know how to explain it. “The way it sorta…shines down on everything in a really warm light. The little sun rays that peek through the window sometimes and if you put your hand in them they feel nice. And like the way the sun sometimes breaks through the clouds on a really cold day and you can feel it almost hugging you. Helping you to be warm. Sorta like that.”

Babycorn was feeling really dizzy.

“They suit you!”

Tilika, who had eventually tracked Babycorn down, had watched the whole exchange from a distance. 

She munched down on her burger, tears on her face. “They’re so cute… What the heck?” Tilika was resisting every urge in her body that was telling her to run up to Babycorn and hug her and tease her about how she just needed a cute boy to make her feel better. 

“Ugh! Tell me about it.” Lunya agreed.

“WHATTAHECK?!”

[darkandlightdance]

Okay, starting the titular quest "Endwalker". Still feeling the tears that those asshole made me cry. (not sure if that was directed at the Scions or the ones who told me I could resurrect them)

I've seen several videos that call out Emet-Selch for the discrepancy between the view of the memory echos in Amaurot and those of the actual unsundered. The you are children view vs you are a familiar view. Y'shtola calls him on it too before the last dungeon, its hilarious.

I'm going to have to run that dungeon in Trusts because I missed most of the story there.

Alisaie in trying to make her understand that there is more than despair you gave her a weakness. She's going to split us up somehow.

Ha! I was right it was Zenos. Also, Zenos what the fuck.

Okay so we did the Azem crystal thing and how we're in the spell space? rather than on his head? Okay I looked around and the spell is directly on top of his head. The shiny has to be interfering with his vision.

He's probably going to fight us once the winged head is gone but I'm not sure what he thinks he's getting from it. I'm going to be beaten and exhausted by the time that fight is done. And he wants to fight me at my best. So I'm not sure what he thinks is going to happen.

I swear if Zenos interrupts this I will be so pissed. Dawn, and she's sweet and blue again.

I'm pretty sure that we're not leaving here without the fight Zenos wants. Pretty sure he wants an end almost as much as he wants the fight.

His speeches to us are always creepy. Yes I do like pushing myself but not because of that. That's a you thing, Zenos. Yeah, adventurers are adventurers (at least at the level above doing this because otherwise I'd starve) because they enjoy it.

And yeah I can let loose when I can be sure the entire world isn't going to find out about exactly what went down. I know how easily it is to fall from that pillar they've got me on.

I managed it in one try! And I still had 4 stacks left at the end! Very proud of myself, normally I have to do at least one retry.

And we've gotten to the point where we're not battling we're slugging it out with our bare fists. Pretty scenery and music tho.

Did anyone realize why I was beat to death when I teleported back? I think they would have been much more worried if they had realized that Zenos was there.

Did we really go completely around the planet from a bit east of Sharlayan then going east past Doma before ending up in Sharlayan? Did anyone in the Dawntrail locations see us?

Everyone else in Sharlayan is watching from the Rostra but the lala girls are running down to the port to be the first ones to say welcome home.

There is no way I am walking off the ship. Given everything I'm pretty sure someone had to help me stand to see that we were home. So I'm getting carried off the ship. Whether one of the men carries me directly or I'm on the stretcher (had to look that word up I had one of those brain freeze moments where you forget the exact word you want but remember the definition) is the only question.

Huh, the background of the credits is through every expansion. Interesting normally they only do that expansion.

Urianger's words mean more when you remember that he can't swim and almost drowned several times in ShB, so stormy seas are probably terrifying to him. Uri did you just imply that Zenos wanted me to live? Or was that a reference to everyone on the ship worrying about me?

Staring contest with Esti! Estinien did you just threaten the Empyreum guards with the Gaja suit? That is hilarious. edit: there is a guard in a blue gaja suit and head outside the Ishgard apartments...not sure why he seems to be wearing Aymeric's sword though. Estinien and Aymeric seem to be having fun messing with each other. :)

I don't think it counts as borrowing if its from the Great Gubal Library, Y'shtola.

Here's the hook for the post-MSQ part of the expansion. Now who are you and why are you wearing white, unsundered. I honestly can't tell how worried I should be about him. He's kinda creepy but at the same time a lot of the unsundered are creepy in different ways.

And there it is, the end of the 6.0 Main Story Quest. Damn that was good.

[semi-imaginary-place]

more ffxiv 5.0 begining of the end

I went and did the role quests and how much time passed between ardbert & co going to the source and returning? because didn't like a lot of time pass over on the First. I need to pull up a timeline but potentially they were gone for decades or there was a significant amount of time between when they unbalanced the light aether and left and when they returned with minfilia and the flood happened.

I still think the talos was a stupid idea but i think talos in general are horrendously inefficient. like the writers clearly wanted a plot point where everyone you met along the way all come together to help but this could have been better done.

feo ul's the only real one

g'raha finally getting to put all his sharlayan political and society philosophy to use to build a uptopia. crystalarium: KING! KING! KING!

oh this is the timetravel i got spoiled on and then immediately shut my brain off about. because 14 shards wasn't confusing enough they had to add multiple timelines. writers suffering from other writers decisions. yous see i'm pretty sure the 2.x writers who made ardbert and the warriors of darkness made them as an exact copy of wol and co. but then the 5.0 writers come along and were like what if the shards aren't exact copies but instead just have some similarities. because if the 5.0 writers hadn't done that they could have just said this is a g'raha from another shard. but anyways timetravel to give the crystal exarch a personal connection to the player character.

so there's a timeline where the 7th and 8th umbral calamities happen within like 2 years of each other. wow things got so bad cid decided to time rewind (yaaa it's rewind time) instead of trying to fix things. 200 years to get time travel up and running? pretty sure you could have just fixed the source or used the crystal tower to fix the present instead of time travel. 200 years of umbral era to wake the crystal tower then send g'raha to the past where he ends up 100 years ago on the first.

hinging this entire 300 year plan on the player character seems really flimsy, like do you have a back up?? why can't others with the blessing of light also kill sin eaters. why not just do what guns did for swords make a weapon anyone can use to permanently kill sin eaters. actually if sin eaters are just the light equivalent of voidsent why hasn't the source been having the same killing problems with voidsent, ie if injured by one you turn into a voidsent and if you kill a pwoerful one you become a voidsent. Or maybe that only happens in the void/13th in which case why didn't killing Cloud of Darkness do anything. another question is if the light enemies in amdapoor are sine eaters. they use the same model but don't seem to have the same characteristic problems as sin eaters.

so doma fell in the 8th umbral calamity. also shb reveals that the umbral calamities have been from the shards rejoining (interesting that they rejoin the Source and not equally redistribute among the other Shards) but to the general populace they probably can't tell the 7th umbral calamity from the 8th after all all the others have lasted like centuries so for all they know this is a continuation of the 7th and bahamut. i need to go look this up i can't remember if the 13th as been rejoined like if a shard is rejoined does it "disappear" ie you can't visit it anymore.

wasn't the whole point that you can't do that they either just jumps to the next person. well he was trying to open a hole into another dimension or something, don't know why we couldn't have done that to begin with.

damn jp ardbert just flat out says "you're beyond saving"

what did we even go into the umbilicus for? lyna said she had orders not to let anyone in unless an army of sineaters was descending upon the city so she broke that. it's suppose to... something about connecting to the heart of the tower and starting defenses. but the player character didn't know they were going to get a plot important echo in that room so why did we go there? it'd be one thing if it was to snoop on the exarch like in gameplay have us rummage around his diary or something, but that didn't happen. yeah i think we were there to snoop but the devs didn't show any snooping.

"I'm a danger to all around me" wow we are really having this whole conversation right in front of the zun.

speaking of feo ul, aren't they our (big) little deux ex machina plot breaking miracle worker. can't they get us to the bottom of the ocean

urianger's smart idea is to go by sleeping whale? you know the Source is a freshwater lake and the tempest is in the saltwater ocean right

so yeah giant ancient fae whale bismark. isn't titania king of the fae or was it just pixies?

yup literally plot breaking.

flying whale! how are we getting back?

just gonna ignore that making a giant air bubble would kill everything down here either in creation or through subsequent desiccation.

wow we really wrecked the sahagin (or what was the name on the first?) home. they are taking the change in environment far too well. and one of them wants to grow oranges... they're focused on light yes but you have a bigger problem: salt.

wasn't the whole deal with limsa's war with the sahagin over satansha that sahagin young need air and land.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Maedwyn participated majorly in the Bozjan Front, and in Zadnor. It put him back in contact with many Dalmascan operatives that he used to know. And so he asked one of them to indulge his "old man's request" -- a vial of deadly poison from the homeland, because if Maedwyn got captured again... He wouldn't allow the imperials to do to him as they had before.

One of Lente's Tears' members, a Viera he recruited into royal service and helped adapt with life at large after she left Golmorre Jungle, tearfully brought the request to Fran.

And Fran said fine. If that coward is so beholden to his fear, so be it. Take to him this poison.

It never came into use, of course, because things went victoriously for the resistance on both sides. But Maedwyn took the vial home with him because he considered it a souvenir. Out of curiosity, he brought it to a chemist in Ul'dah to help him figure out what it did, as he was bemusedly curious about what kind of death Fran thought fitting to give him.

It was not poison. Or, well, it was. But it was one very much like what had been given to Nanamo during the Bloody Banquet to fake her death. And there was a message carved inside the bottle that said, in the script of Dalmasca, "we will come for you."

Quite a gift it became, then.

Maedwyn chugged that stuff as he realized he was on the brink of death after the fight with Zenos at the edge of the universe, because it slowed all of his body functions down so he was hoping, perhaps vainly, that it would buy him enough time to be rescued.

And the universe rescued him and dumped him back with the Scions! All was well and good, right? Maedwyn woke up and everything because they pumped so many fucking things into his body on the flight back to revive him.

Maedwyn regained consciousness, looked at the veritable apothecary on the cart behind Urianger, and felt a cold moment of someone walking over his grave.

And he had twenty fucking seconds to be like [Nicki Minaj hair flip meme] "So there was this really specific potion I took whose effect will NOT FADE permanently unless you give me a really specific antidote" before passing out again.

And this time it was bad, because the Scions had overdosed him on...everything else to wake him the first time.

It was a nightmare six months for the Scions after they got back to Sharlayan, rushed the comatose Maedwyn to the healers, then rushed to find the antidote. Thankfully Maedwyn managed to tell them to find Aylise, who was the Viera student of his that got the potion from Fran, and the dumbest most panicked game of telephone began from Old Sharlayan all the way back to Dalmasca where Fran had to pull one of her subordinates to go deliver the antidote to the Warrior of Light.

Because of the combined over-healing on the return trip and the potion itself, however, Maedwyn was awake but in no state to do anything for a long, long time. The Scions took turns yelling at him. Alisaie demanded to know why he even had such a potion on his person?

He couldn't tell her. Of course he could not. How could he dare to tell anyone the origin and the story behind that thing when they had fought with each gasping breath to save him? And the only mercy his allies from the homeland spared him was that they also said nothing.

So yeah. Maedwyn made things massively more difficult for himself and everyone involved after the Ultima Thule encounter. At least none of the Scions knew how inconceivably big his clown nose was aside from himself.

And it wasn't even necessary, honestly...If he had not taken the poison and had just let the Scions find and heal him, he would have been fine. Would probably have walked off the damage in a month's time. But no. Because Maedwyn did what he did, he spent half a year and some weeks learning how to walk again. Oops.

I come up with something touching for my OC.

I immediately made up a way for him to turn it into a LOL Idiot situation.

[thebluebellcompany]

FFXIV Write Day 10 - Channel

In which conversations are had.

Fun little style change with this one, completely dialogue. And another secret character makes an appearance...

- - -

“Bzzt. Bzzt. Paging a one Aurelia Octavia.” 

“...” 

“Bzzt, bzzt. Paging one-” 

“Zhra’li Nevleh, I am going to beat you to an inch of your life. What.” 

“Are you perhaps busy at the moment?” 

“...” 

“-ok stupid question. Got it. I just had a quick question.”

“Well get on with it, I don’t have all day.” 

“So! You know how people say the pen is mightier than the sword, or whatever nonsense they’re going on about with that. Which is a stupid phrase, by the way. I mean, I get it’s an allegory for how negotiations and words are supposed to stop the fighting before it even begins, but honestly. Some times, there is simply no helping people when they have something dead set in their minds-”

“Zhra’li. I am going to kill you if you do not shut up, this instant.” 

“Right! Right, okay. Anyway, what I was getting at was this. I, uh. May have need for your pen, and not my sword at the moment, if you catch my drift.” 

“...did you get caught by the Sharlayan guards again.” 

“It wasn’t even my fault this time! And they’d probably listen to an archon-to-be over anything I have to say - which isn’t saying much, considering they’re not believing anything coming out of my mouth.” 

“That’s rough buddy. Shame I have to finish this paper by 11:59 tonight. See you then. Good luck.” 

“Wait, no, Aurelia, this is my one phone call-!” 

— 

“Oh Campanula? Are you on right now?” 

“I am. How can I assist you Miss. Minami.” 

“Oh-ho-ho-ho, aren’t you a charmer, as always. I was just wondering where you are at the moment.” 

“Right now? I’m speaking to you from the training grounds near our current residence. Why, has something happened that requires my assistance?” 

“Oh nothing of that sort. It’s just that, well. You see, it was not too long ago that I made a little day trip to Ishgard, to visit a friend of mine that had moved there after the Doman occupation. It was ever such a nice trip.” 

“Is that so? Well I’m glad you enjoyed the trip to my home city, as it were.” 

“Thank you! The weather was quite agreeable as well. So much so that she and I went on a little walk around the Jeweled Cozier, and she bought me the cutest little cakes. So small but ever so pretty, and quite the price tag too. The thing is, I was hoping to eat some with a spot of tea.” 

“Between you, me, and Eris, it is a rare day when one of us has to go on a tea run. And all of that is quite nice, but I’m not sure what that has to do with me? Unless you are asking for pairing recommendations.” 

“Oh, see, but the tea isn’t the problem. I had just gone on to make a cup only to realize when I came back that two of those little cakes were gone! Poof! Gone like a breeze on the wind. Aurelia’s not fond of sweets, Eris would never steal from me since she’s such a good girl, and Zhra’li would never steal from me since he’s so afraid of me. Only thing left behind was a slightly ajar window, which leads right to the training grounds just outside my window! Now tell me Campanula, where exactly you were 5 minutes ago.” 

“...I’m going to die, aren’t I.” 

“Next time dear, remember to lock the window behind you as you leave. Now stay still, I believe my sword has a date with your kidneys.” 

—

“...zzzzt.” 

“Hello? Helloooooo? Is this working?” 

“...zzzzzzzzzzzzt.” 

“I guess not, oh well. Shame, this one is almost brand new, too. But I guess a magitek scrambler would fry even the newest of linkshells, huh.” 

“...bzzt.” 

“Can’t reach anyone, can’t call anyone. You’re really in a mess now, aren’t you Eris. Well,  searching for survivors while talking to yourself in the middle of an empty battlefield about dead things is surely not worrying. Yep. Totally. My mind is completely intact. Yes.” 

“...zzzzzzpt.” 

“You know, Nominakh would have loved magitek. He always was fiddling around with bits and bobs, even back in the Steppe. I’m sure he could have managed to fix something as simple as a Garlean scrambler, or shield it somehow.” 

“...what am I saying. It’s not as though he’d be alive to even see magitek other than what he saw with mom on her travels. With him, being, you know, dead.”

“...Nymeia’s waters, I need to get out of here. I think the magitek is frying my brain.” 

“...zt”

“...”

“......Ehri?” 

[yzeltia]

Dreams of a Lost Paradise

Chapter 6: First Light Characters: Keith Summers, Carter Summers, Hayzel Baker, Y'hmitra Rhul, E-Sumi-Yan Rating: Teen Notes: None - First Chapter - -Previous Chapter- -Next Chapter-

Violet and Gold glittered about before Keith as Y'mhitra twirled around in a gifted silk blanket from his family's wears. "It's lovely, Keith. Thank you!"

"It's nothin'. I figured I'd bring you back something since you helped me out with your cousin and all."

"That's right! How did that go?"

Keith thought for a moment, recalling his chilly encounter with Y'zel. "Well, I would say I learned a lot on that journey. Definitely to keep my hands to myself."

The woman blinked but didn't press the issue further. "What brings you through Gridania today?"

"Well, my brother and I found someone sorta imprisoned in our basement...from the Garlean occupation. They don't know where they come from so we're going to see what the people at Gobul can make of them."

"Hm. You might have better luck in Old Sharlayan. The Gobul Library was already sealed prior to the Calamity. If you're looking for birth or missing person records, Noumenon would be a better destination."

"And deal with those stuffy white-robed-," Keith started before watching his friend's ears flip back and her eyes narrow, "Librarians who are super helpful?"

Y'mhitra gave her eyes a small roll as she crossed her arms. "Anyroad, why did your brother and friend not accompany you this way?"

"Well, they did. They've just been...a bit distracted about it," he sighed, looking over his shoulder.

A bit beyond Hayzel had found a lamp post to lean on while Carter towered beside him, the latter brushing his hand through his love's hair as they whispered closely. Face heated, he turned, finding his friend's ears perked and eyes slightly avoiding his.

"And here I was thinking you fancied me with bringing me such a lavish gift. How unfortunate to be in love with your brother's beau."

"That's the second time someone has said that! I would never...I mean, I don't...I..." he started, balling his fists while looking away. After composing himself he shook his head. "It's not that. Really. I've had a crush before, I think. When I was little there was a girl, but then my mother said I wasn't allowed to play with her anymore when things started getting bad at home and I never saw her again...She beat up my big brother when he'd tease us...That was long ago, and I was just a lad, but I remember what it felt like when we'd hold hands. I don't get that feeling around anyone really, I want to though. Feel that way about someone?"

Y'mhitra nodded along as she listened. "So not it's not the subject, but the art. Well, those moments can't exactly be recaptured. Such things are far more subtle."

"Tell that to them," Keith said wryly, gesturing to the public display of affection.

Y'mhitra laughed then folded up the gift as she took a seat on a bench. "The passion comes after, I'm afraid. If it were that easy to charm one another, there'd be half as much heartbreak in the world and I'd worry less for my sisters as well as my dear, hopeless, cousin. I'm sure you'll -"

Keith followed his friend's eyes as she stopped speaking and perked her ears. Approaching Carter and Hayzel was a young man in dark robes and a rather stern look on his face. The young man recalled what the stranger had warned him about, and swooped in.             “Keith!” Y’mhitra called out, as he clasped the other on the shoulder.

“Hey little guy-“ was all he could get out before finding himself soaked and flying through the air into the picturesque falls that backdropped the vista. Panic set in. His throat closed, all sense of up and down was lost to him.

In the pitch, he was suddenly met with a gentle voice. “Hear…”

“Hear what…”

“Feel.”

“Feel…what…”

“Think.”

“Think…what…”

As the commands tumbled through his ears, Keith opened his eyes, finding him floating, breathing, before a giant crystal.

“My child left to slumber, awaken to thine gifts and bring to rest their tears.”

With that, Keith felt himself be filled with light and returned to himself.

[astralartefact]

i filled out one of those bingo cards for endwalker... (you can find the original here)

If you want some explanations/theories they are under the cut~~

For the most part the ones on the left are the good ones and the ones on the right are the bad ones...

Most of the middle ones are explained here (another thing regarding the nautilus = heart of sabik theory, the flag of sharlayan's nautilus are actually two whirls intertwined - which makes it kind of look like an anatomical heart...) (which I only noticed bc the one I drew above kind of reminded me of one)

I feel like I have to explain the Fourchenault one, because I have yet to see anyone mention that. Let me tell you the story of German!Fourchenault, the only good Fourchenault:

Before his patch dropped I was pretty scared that the twins dad was going to be this strict, stubborn, conservative dad character, you know, the type where you don't even really get why he had children in the first place, you have them in media all the time - and then I got to his part in the msq and...

...he wasn't! I genuinely felt like Fourchenault was happy to meet his children again, but simply frustrated that they weren't following his approach of "No war." He wasn't mean or condescending or anything like that, he was... kind of nice! A nice person that just disagreed with his children's methods!

So I finish the msq and go online to see what other people thought about the patch and was bombarded with "Fourchenault is the worst dad in existence", "I will punch this dude", "I will adopt the children" kind of stuff and I was genuinely confused, like... Why does everybody want to specifically adopt them so bad, is that an idiom I never learned or something? did we experience the same person?

And as it turned out, we didn't. I fully agree that the English Fourchenault is a travesty of a person, he even said something along the lines of "How dare you talk to me like that?" like exactly the type of character I was dreading. Most notably though, German Fourchenault didn't disown his children. (What he says is pretty literally "If you want to go to war, then you don't deserve the name Leveilleur.", which you could read as disowning them, but I certainly didn't read it as that at first.)

The problem with all of this is that all other languages explicitly disown the children (as far as I could tell at least) so I have this sneaking suspicion that German Fourchenault will probably have undergone a few changes when we see him again... and I'm devastated because German Fourchenault was so nice :/ I will genuinely miss him...

Other things:

I already know that there are a lot of mammets in old sharlayan, so I hope they use that to tease us about a possible Puppetmaster (limited?) job... because I want it...

With Zoo Dungeon I mean the one with the different biomes that are seperated with force fields... and it has a stable... and walk ways... you know... like a Zoo! I just haven't seen people point that out yet

With Anogg Konogg Cameo, I just mean like... they show up somewhere in the background or something, but since I do think that stuff was setup for them to appear in a nier game, i don't think that's going to happen

Also if they have the audacity to kill Krile and not even put her on the Endwalker artwork... I don't even know what I would do.

[jenovahh]

Comm 17 - A Little Help - NSFW

Rating: NC-17/Explicit Tags: Threesome (MxMxM), Anal Sex, Accidental Voyeurism, Blowjobs, Heat Fic

Commission Request: WoL is going into heat and Estinien has always been their partner. Not wanting make things awkward with G’raha who they have burgeoning feelings for, the WoL seeks Estinien out once more. G’raha notices the WoLs absence, and decides to seek them out... ====================================================

There’s no mistaking the sounds he hears from down the hallway.

G’raha Tia knows his face is as red as his hair, no longer tipped with silver mind you. 

The moans and sighs are unmistakable, familiar, and the sounds are so lewd he can feel his breeches already begin to feel a little too tight. His ears flick forward before flicking back in embarrassment, flicking forward once more as if he can’t help himself as he creeps steadily forward down the seemingly unending hallway.

The Rising Stones is empty, Tataru seeing to other business as she communicates with Krile who still lies in Sharlayan. Y’shtola and Urianger having mended their camaraderie have gone to research what the council could possibly be up to, most likely preparing to endure another late night up to their ears in tomes. The twins had busied themselves elsewhere, possibly still processing their father’s rejection. Thancred had gone out to attend to other matters, leaving with nothing but a wave and a smile.

Though he has always admired the Warrior of Light, even G’raha could not deny that he has not only spent time with A'von to be with his inspiration, his shining light...that he wanted more. While yes he knew his abilities could help their adventures, his reasons for joining A’von on his adventures were not so noble.

Even he could be selfish.

He knows not when these feelings of simple admiration and idolatry shifted into something more personal, pushing him to spend every bell of every day with A’von until they parted ways for the evening, each withdrawing to their own rooms. Part of him could not help but feel a little anxious for burdening the Warrior of Light with his presence every day, but could anyone blame him? 

He loved every second he got to spend with his inspiration, to see those pale, blue eyes crinkle and pouty lips smile at him as their tails swayed behind them as they trekked across Eorzea. On more than one occasion had G’raha felt A'von's own tail brush against his own, the fluffy mass unmistakably curling around his own for barely a second before withdrawing so fast G’raha thought he might’ve imagined it. 

He could barely sleep from thinking about it so much.

Try as he might, there was no running away from his burgeoning feelings for A’von, which was what left him feeling so bereft when he awoke to another day of the Warrior of Light mysteriously keeping his distance. It had been going on for barely a week now, A’von having started to nervously avoid him, until he became a ghost altogether. The only way G’raha knew he was relatively okay was from how he could distantly hear A'von's door close late at night when everyone had long since turned in.

Tonight was to be the same he thought, only G’raha had been arriving back to his room fairly late himself. He had nowhere else to go really, given his body had been slumbering on this world for the past few years, leaving him with nowhere else to stay save the Rising Stones. He had spent another night talking off poor Rambroes’ ear, sharing more tales of the future and the First and all he had seen. Passing on secrets of the Crystal Tower and its capability until he gave one good yawn and Rambroes sent him home just like old times.

It was quiet, whatever remaining Scions having long since gone home for the evening, meaning it was quieter than usual. It’s what led him to hearing moans and sighs from the end of the hall as he prepared to go to bed. He had been a little embarrassed of course, thinking that perhaps one of the other Scions needed release, and were thinking themselves quiet to races with average hearing. But one moan in particular let him know just which Scion was currently being pounded into the mattress.

He couldn’t help himself, cat-like stealth helping him sneak down the hall, toward the door that was cracked just enough that a sliver of light peeked out into the corridor. Just as the sounds got louder, so did the air, a familiar and long forgotten scent tickling G’raha’s nose and making him hard as rock in his trousers with each step he drew nearer. It was subconscious how his hand moved to grip himself through his clothes, not feeling such hunger since...he was in this body, strangely enough. Desire was the last thing on his mind when bearing the mantle of the Crystal Exarch.

“You like a good tussle as much as the rest...don’t deny it…” a man gruffly rumbles, the barely perceptible squeaking of the mattress finally making its way to his ears. Reaching the door, it's ajar just enough for his red eyes to peek in, barely able to contain his gasp at what he sees.

A'von is there, naked and sweaty and willing, his back to Estinien’s chest. Without meaning to G'raha eyes jump down A'von's bare torso to his cock, red, swollen, and leaking precum all over the place as it bounces lewdly with each thrust of Estinien’s hips. A'von's usually light eyes are darkened with lust, his trimmed claws biting into Estinien’s arm where the Elezen man has it wrapped possessively across his chest. Estinien’s other hand grips A'von's hip with bruising force, holding him in place as he controls the pace of his thrusting, leaving A’von no option but to sit there and take it.

He had been as in awe of the Azure Dragoon as anyone had the right to be, he thinks, despite the Elezen’s more standoffish demeanor. Having been the “new hire” himself, G’raha had taken to try and form a partnership of sort of being the two newest members, to which Estinien begrudgingly accepted. G’raha knew he didn’t genuinely dislike him as a person, but was more used to being alone, as was his wont.

G’raha had heard (or rather read) plenty about the prickly dragoon, noticing that he became more present as A’von had become more absent. Estinien had informed everyone he would be using this waiting time to take care of a few loose ends until it was time to depart, showing up surprisingly early as A’von had begun to make himself scarce. The seeds of jealousy tried to take root in G’raha’s heart, but he quickly quashed such thoughts. He was man enough to acknowledge that others had grown close to A'von in his absence; it was not fair to keep him to himself.

“You’re so beautiful like this, you know,” Estinien whispers, pressing thin lips to A'von's neck, tongue licking a stripe up to his jawline. “All hot and needy for me…” He growls, accentuating his words with a hard thrust, the sound of skin against skin making G’raha grip his dick tighter, needing some kind of relief as he played the hidden voyeur. He should step away, should turn around and go back to his own room, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the sight before him.

“S-Stop saying such things,” A’von moans, grunting as Estinien’s fingers snake their way up to slip into his mouth, pink tongue darting out to lick them, drawing him into his waiting mouth. Estinien rumbles in approval, rewarding the Miqo’te by increasing the pace he fucks him. “Gods,”

“Halone couldn’t save you now...though you wouldn’t want that, now would you?” Estinien chuckles, making sure to fuck the Warrior of Light nice and deep. “No...it is your new friend you wish were in my place.”

“That’s not true!” A’von nearly wails, face flushing a deeper red from embarrassment.

A new...friend?

“Oh yes...it is not blue eyes you want to see. Go on and tell me more of how you wish for the heir of Allag to ravish you for all to see.” Estinien continues to tease.

“Estinien, be quiet,” A’von protests, even as his own hand goes to circle around his own cock in a silent plea for more. He handles himself expertly, eyes dazed as he tries to desperately thrust in his hand at the same time Estinien plows into him from behind.

G’raha is pretty sure he’s stopped breathing.

“I’m sure he would be more than amicable to your request…” Estinien hums, pushing down on A'von's back to press him into the mattress. G’raha watches toned muscle flex in Estinien’s arm as A’von’s tail curls around it affectionately despite the force Estinien exerts fucking him from behind. 

G’raha’s mouth is dry as the desert as he watches A'von's lust drunk face, holding back a groan at hearing the Warrior’s wanton sighs. He looks back to Estinien--

...to find the dragoon staring right back.

G’raha freezes, preparing to turn tail and run but the dragoon shakes his head, smirking all the while as he turns his gaze back to A’von. “Go on and tell me, A’von. Tell me how you came to me because you couldn’t face your feelings for your G’raha Tia.”

“Gods,” A’von moans, eyes rolling back in his head.

“You want him don’t you? Too embarrassed to have him see the infallible, unshakable Warrior of Light, his light and inspiration...reduced to a moaning mess.” Estinien continues, not having stopped his thrusting for one moment.

“Gods yes,” A’von moans, a smile curling his lips at the thought.

“Well, you heard him.” Estinien calls, raising his voice to clearly indicate he is speaking to G’raha. He feels himself freeze even more, stiff as a board as Estinien ceases the motion of his hips, giving the Warrior of Light just enough time for his thoughts to clear. G’raha watches as if he’s having an out of body experience as A’von turns in question to Estinien before following his line of sight to the door where he stands, unmoving.

A’von and he simply stare at one another blankly for a moment, before A'von's ears pin back against his head, hands covering his face in shame. “Raha!” he calls, and at the sound of his name without the prefix, so many of his fears scatter like petals on the wind. “By the gods, I hadn’t meant-- I mean,”

“Will you just ask him if he wants to join or sod off?” Estinien interrupts rudely, prompting A'von to reach back and smack him.

“Be quiet,”

“Von?” G’raha calls, stepping into the room. He pushes the door open to allow himself entry, closing it gently behind him, ensuring that it is shut. “Did you really…?”

Blushing again, A’von buries his face into the sheets in embarrassment, prompting an exasperated sigh from Estinien. “The bloody fool was too enamored with you to bother asking whether or not you wanted to help with his heat.” The Elezen grumbles with a roll of his eyes. “Something about not wanting to bother you, that you’ve just returned to this world and shouldn’t worry about such things.” He mocks, going as far to impersonate A'von's voice.

“Must you?” The Miqo’te whines, looking as if he would love nothing more than to disappear.

Estinien playfully gives him a smack on the ass, enjoying the man’s undignified yelp. “I must.”

Swallowing, G’raha carefully reaches for the clasps keeping his gear in place, praying he isn’t presuming over much. He and A’von make eye contact, everything and nothing passing between them for a moment. Despite their compromising position, G’raha notices A'von still has the gall to look ashamed, and it’s then he knows he must say something. “I...want this as much as you. If your words hold true.” He murmurs, unsure of his own voice.

A'von's large ears slowly perk up, blue eyes locked on him as if he wanted nothing else. “I...I hadn’t wanted to impose. I presumed that you didn’t want,”

“Of course I want,” G’raha groans, nearly falling to his knees to the side of the bed, reaching to kiss A’von who returns it just as eagerly, the two men groaning into one another’s mouths. G’raha caresses his face gently, always, always wanting, his heart doing little flips in his chest that the gods have seen fit to grant him so many of his wishes. 

G’raha feels A'von groan into the kiss, his eyes trailing to where he notices Estinien begins to slowly thrust again. This close G’raha can feel the effect of A'von's heat, his own breath coming fast as he stares into A'von's eyes, thumb trailing across the scar he knows his friend so adamantly hides. He can feel how he tenses beneath his touch, and so he moves to press his lips comfortingly to the scar, kissing every ilm as Estinien begins to one again build their pleasure.

“This is...okay?” A’von whines, claws ripping into the sheets as Estinien begins to pound even harder.

“More than okay.” G’raha groans, using this time to begin undressing as best he can from this position. His medallions clink together as his top falls to the floor, his hands nimbly picking out his hair pins and placing them with his top. “Though it has been some time, if memory serves, it may take two of us to satisfy a heat.” 

Hunger fills A'von's eyes at that, following him as he stands to remove his trousers. G’raha can’t help but flush red at how A'von's lips part and his tongue swipes across them, gazing up at him hungrily before eyeing the outline of his cock in his underwear. Even as Estinien continues to thrust, A’von reaches out and grabs him by the thigh, urging him closer to where he can pull down his small clothes, letting his cock spring free.

G’raha can’t help but groan as he watches that tongue swipe over pointed fangs once again, A’von turning his body as best he can to get a proper grip on his cock and pull the tip to his mouth. A’von eagerly begins to lick at his length despite the dragoon’s thrusts, eyes gazing up at him wantonly that does none of his wildest fantasies any justice.

His mouth feels exquisite, tongue warm and wet, swirling around the tip as he eventually gives up and climbs on the bed, turning himself to kneel directly in front of his companion. A’von groans thankfully as he fully dedicates himself to his task, bobbing his head up and down his length all while Estinien holds him by the hips and rams into him from behind. Each thrusts forces a groan from his throat, the vibrations travelling up his length, sending pleasure racing through what feels like every nerve in his body.

“Wicked white,” G’raha curses, having not let go of the phrase as A’von greedily laps at him, thrusting his hips back against Estinien whose groans have gotten more frantic, his pace more wild as he furiously pounds into the Warrior of Light. They grunt and groan together, G’raha committing the sight to memory as A’von calls Estinien’s name as he comes, pulling off his length to moan his release into his lap as Estinein too meets his end.

Estinien groans as he comes, head resting against his A’von’s back as he gives those last few thrusts to ride out his orgasm. G’raha watches as the two of  them catch their breath, A’von giving him a soft smile as he pushes himself up to bring G’raha down to him for a kiss. G’raha reciprocates immediately, their tongues dancing together even as Estinien withdraws, allowing for A'von to press forth unsuspectingly. G’raha scrambles to get his legs from under him as A’von straddles him, eyes devious as he holds his hand behind him expectantly. Estinien silently hands him the oil, G’raha watching hypnotized as he pours a generous amount in his hand before putting the bottle down once more.

G’raha can’t help but raise his hips as his lover’s hand wraps around his cock once again, the oil lubing him up easily. He can barely keep his eyes open, the pleasure is so overwhelming, looking through hazy eyes at how calloused hands rub him up and down. 

Having recovered, Estinien grabs the vial of oil, pouring what remains over two fingers before chucking it elsewhere in the room. Coming up behind A'von he slips two fingers into his sheathe, A’von purring, eyes hooded as he still keeps his focus on G’raha. “Good, you’re still ready. You ready to take him?” Estinien murmurs into A’von’s ear, taking one between his teeth and nibbling.

A’von nods slowly, finally releasing his cock as Estinien pulls his fingers from his puckered entrance.

Slowly, A’von leans forward, resting rough hands upon the smooth planes of G’raha’s chest, eyes not leaving one another as A’von reaches below to take hold of G’raha cock and line it up. Sinking slowly, the two Miqo’te moan as one as A'von slowly sinks down, G'raha hands coming to knead the flesh of A'von's thighs as he takes ilm by precious ilm. Even if he’s still stretched from Estinien’s own pounding, A’von savors each bit until they are flush against each other, his cock still hard and leaking pre cum as is warranted by a Miqo’te heat even after an orgasm.

A’von leans down to kiss him, his heart feeling ready to burst as A'von raises his hips to bring them back down. Groaning into one another’s mouths, G’raha feels robbed of breath as A’von nibbles playfully on his bottom lip, earning a surprised whimper from him at the action. Smirking, he watches as A’von sits back up, riding him earnestly, eyes on him. “Let me...make these past few days...up to you…”

A’von rides him like a man possessed, panting and mewling as he bounces on his cock. As if the sight alone wasn’t erotic enough, Estinien comes to claim A’von’s lips, the Miqo’te’s hand wrapping around his cock and pumping furiously as he prepares to meet his end once again. “The both of you,” A’von groans against Estinien’s lips, and G’raha knows he won’t last much longer either. “I’m going to,”

A’von comes, crying out as his seed spurts everywhere, but G’raha can’t be bothered to care as he finally releases, feeling his orgasm soar through him with blinding speed. His toes curl as he feels his seed spurt inside of his love, eyes fluttering closed as he gives a few more thrusts to ride out his orgasm.

It is his turn to catch his breath, finally opening his eyes just in time to catch A'von as he seems to collapse atop him. “Von?” he panics, until Estinien stills him with a hand.

“He’s fine. Just worn out.” He huffs, standing from the bed to cross over to a nearby basin. “You and I both know he could use the rest. Especially since he’ll pounce on us soon as he wakes.” 

Nodding, G’raha shifts A'von to be a bit more comfortable, scooting over to make a little more room for all three of them to fit. Given that they’re in Estinien’s room, he doubts anyone save Alphinaud or Tataru would dare pay a visit, and so he dubs it safe enough to rest his eyes, and join A'von in the world of dreams.

[thevoilinauttheory]

FFXIVWrite2020 Prompt #13 - Extra Credit

Character(s): Caromont Allard, Astrid Allard; a couple unnamed tutors and teachers. Setting: Sharlayan (Motherland); approximately 1475 of the Sixth Astral Era -- approximately 1480 of the Sixth Astral Era -- approximately 1494 of the Sixth Astral Era, just before the events of Prompt #22 What: Caromont is introduced to his new abilities, much to his dismay. Content Warnings: Explicit physical and emotional, familial, abuse; implications of trauma Author Notes: My spouse wanted more Caromont lore, so I used it as my extra credit prompt. Honestly, that’s all I gotta say. I had fun writing this one, because Caromont is my “enigma” character. Everything about him is hidden under the veil of the classic case of amnesia, but even if he does remember - no one ever knows, he doesn’t communicate if he’s remembered anything or not. So even in my private RP with my spouse, he’s still something of a mysterious character. --

Violet eyes cast a glance outside of the window of his classroom, it was a nice day. He was stuck here. Again. And again. And again. Everyday it was the same thing. When the click of a switch against the podium at the front assaulted his ears, he flipped the page of the book in front of him with no regard to the words written. Another snap, another page. There were whispers of other students beside him - he paid no mind. There were clouds to watch and he was far more interested in those. Crack, flip. Whap, flip. 

“Allard!”

The boy’s head whipped to the front suddenly, his attention drawn by the sudden shout of his name. When he realized it was just his teacher, his posture relaxed, eyes squinting into a pure sense of utter boredom. He exuded it as he slid his arm over his desk to rest his head on his fist. The eye contact showed that he was listening… at least more intently than before, yet he said no words. His teacher walked her way to his desk, snatching up his textbook.

“The answer to number four, please.”

A deliberate attempt to sabotage him, taking away the text he paid no attention to and asking a question on it. It would’ve made any student fluster, yet the boy didn’t flinch. He didn’t even blink. “Teleporting is breaking down your aether and confluencing it with the Lifestream, carrying you to your destination so long as you don’t break contact with your thoughts. There are dangers to teleporting, such as losing focus and losing self - where your aether cannot conjoin together. Other effects can be severe aether sickness, crystal sickness, and possibly ending up at a different location.” Before any words could be spoken, he continued. “Aether sickness is caused by an increased intake of aether, causing a variety of symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, migraines, dizziness, vertigo, and temporary blind and deafness. There is no known cure for aether sickness, and it’s recommended to just let it pass. If it does not, though, a transfer of aether can be used to reduce the amount of aether stored in another’s body.” A sharp inhale. “This can also lead to aether deprivation, where there is too low of aether in another’s body; causing malnourishment, lack of appetite, inability to move certain body parts, loss of certain bodily functions, and numbness - death, within a matter of bells or suns.”

His eyes turned back to the window. “Answers four, five, and six. I am paying attention, and I dislike that you are accusing me of not.”

His teacher let out a soft sigh, setting his book down, then returned to the front of the class - allowing the child to continue daydreaming in peace.

When his classmates filed out at the first sound of the bell, he gathered up his belongings slowly and meandered his way to the door. “Caromont.” “Mm?” “Stay here, your mother will be arriving shortly.” “What did I do wrong? I answered your questions, did I not?” She shook her head. “It’s for both praise and punishment. You’re above your class clearly, but it feels as if you’re not invested in this path.” “I am not, I would much rather be doing something else.” “Then why do you continue?” “My mother wants me to. It’s the best way to make money and take care of my family.”

There was another shake of her head, yet she gestured to the door. “Take a seat outside.”

When his mother appeared, near stomping down the hall; heels clicking- he hated that noise. She could afford nice heels, but not a proper bed for her children. Nice clothes, nice makeup. In his loathing, he neglected to realize she was right beside him and a hard yank on one of his ears made him cry out. “What did you do this time! Ungrateful child, I send you to school and you do nothing but get in trouble!” “I do not want to be here, regardless! Let go!” He tried to pry her hand off, but her nails caught the cartilage, causing a sob to break from him. “Stop!”

“Mrs. Allard, if you please.” His teacher caught her before a hand could crack over his face - a save he couldn’t have been more grateful for. She seemed to recognize the situation, then smiled. “There is naught for him to be punished. I wanted to give only praise and a proposition.” A change in her previous statement. “Is that right? Why didn’t you say so before?” His mother let go of his ear, following his teacher inside the classroom while he was left outside to tend to his injured and now bleeding ear.

“I wished to convey just how brilliant your son is, he is far ahead of his peers in his aetherology studies - and I believe he is ready to move on to higher skills. Might I suggest astrology? He seems keen on being outside, and studies regarding the stars would allow him that enrichment he needs. He could be Sharlayan’s greatest healer with just a bit more effort and motivation from outside sources, such as his family.” She stacked up some papers, sitting herself down at her desk. “I can provide the necessary documentation of his successes, and present it to the head of the board. He’ll be ready to move on by next moon. Until then, I would have him stay and take tutoring classes to help him further. No extra charge, I assure you.”

“I see… if you believe he’s got that much talent wasting away in him, I suppose moving him forward wouldn’t hurt. Tutoring - if he’s so brilliant, then why--” “Because he will be entering in the middle of the school year, Mrs. Allard, and he will need to catch up on everything his new peers have already learned. Just because he has mastered this class does not mean he is a born master of every other class. You expect too much of the boy, he needs to be nurtured, and he needs to grow; and I will be frank with you - you are stifling him. Do not get in his way, or you will be the cause of the rift between you and your family.”

--

“Take your reading now, Caromont - allow yourself to connect with the gates as we last practiced. Your first reading is always the most important, to see your progress.” His mentor sat on the other side of the desk from him, watching intently to Caromont’s now bright-eyed enthusiasm to his new path. He hadn’t thought of astrology - while Sharlayan was well known for their astrologians, he never considered something like that to speak to him.

The first card was flipped over. “The Spire.” He spoke softly, and he allowed the card to speak. It hurt at first. He rubbed at his temples and within a few seconds his head hit the table as if he had fallen asleep there. His mentor quickly stood to check on him, frightened that something might have gone wrong - but when his head snapped back upright with his eyes wide, he turned to his mentor in tears. “...I- I-... I am sorry… I did not mean…” “What is wrong, child? Dear heavens, I thought you had performed a spell wrong.” “N-No.. I just. My reading is for you… and this position is the past, with the Spire, and… I saw. I saw what happened, I…” “Saw? You saw the past with the flip of a card?” “I just wanted them to speak to me…” “Cards don’t speak, Caromont. The stars do. I think… we may need a different tutor for you. I do not know if there is anyone with your talent, but. I do know that we have a section of professors and students all learning about an innate ability we have called the “Echo”. I would like to make certain that if you do have the Echo, you have a proper tutor to teach you about it - despite the fact that it manifests differently in everyone.” He gestured to the cards again. “Sit upright this time, against the back of the chair instead of forward. Close your eyes after drawing the card.”

He followed. The next card was drawn. “The Spear.” Immediately, he closed his eyes; still the tears fell. He shook his head as his eyes opened again. “...Maybe I should not do readings on you… I see too much.”

--

“No, this isn’t the Echo.” “Are you sure? What other explanation could there be for such a talent?”

Caromont was the talk of the Studium. Professors and peers wanted to know more about his ability - this was the day that his enthusiasm turned to responsibility. He hadn’t realized it yet. 

“The stars speak right to him!” Those were the rumors. There had to be more, a person, or magic… something was doing this to him. He delved in libraries for years to tell him, what was he, what was he supposed to do? Everyday it was another person in need of help - everyday he had to make the choice whether someone should live or die - how heavy a burden on a man barely thirty winters old. Was this his fate and destiny? His cards were blank when he tried to read them for himself - like the stars only spoke through him, rather than to him.

He stood out in the dark, up at the sky did his eyes turn. He was never a wishful thinker, he was studious, uptight, he had to be the responsible one. This was the night he cried. He cried and he cried - how many more times would he have to sentence people to their deaths, how many more times would he have to tell people that there was nothing he could do. He would take the fates into his hands time and time again, always promising to never do so again. Everytime, the consequences of doing so would be worse than the original outcome - the fates ever escaping his grasp. He only wanted to help, why was he burdened with this responsibility?

[idealistsinc]

27 // hurt

wc: 1,276 content warning: mentions of past abuse, suicidal ideation note: a direct follow-up to 26 // when pigs fly. see also 04 // clinch and 18 // panglossian for additional context

Eventually, all was quiet.

Isha’a uncovered his ears and stood up on trembling knees from the sofa where he’d sunk to weather Senan’s storm, pausing to listen with an intensity bordering on terror to the soundscape beyond the door. But there was only a gusty wind rumbling through the walls, a chocobo crying somewhere below on the street. Isha’a made a concentrated effort to release the tension in his spine, taking a slow, deep breath to calm the hammering of his heart.

Senan had left—for now. Isha’a entertained no delusions that it would be the last he saw of him; their father was not a man who found refusal to engage an acceptable response. He would rally and return with another arsenal, cloying and cruel in turn until one or both of them fell again under his iron fist. Isha’a still didn’t understand why Senan had bothered after well over half a cycle of indifference. Something must have driven him out of his fortress. Surely he didn’t suddenly find himself in need of his errant, disobedient sons to flitter to and fro at his beck and call. Surely he had already appeased his colleagues with some excuse as to their whereabouts. Why try to apologize now of all times, when they were both settled a thousand malms away, when a letter would have done just as well to convey his intent if he genuinely meant to reconcile?

Isha’a might have puzzled Senan’s motivations for the rest of the afternoon, if he let himself, but at the end of the day Senan’s motivations didn’t matter. What mattered was Rin.

The bedroom door was closed. Isha’a’s ears angled forward, but he couldn’t hear any sign of movement inside. “Rin?” he called. No response. Isha’a tried the knob; it turned easily in his hand. “Rin, I’m coming in, okay?”

Rin was sitting still on Isha’a’s bed when he entered. If Isha’a didn’t know better, Rin might have seemed at ease, but his eyes gave him away—they were the vacant eyes of a hunted animal, the eyes of a rabbit caught in the jaws of a wolf. Isha’a wondered how much of Senan’s raging Rin had been able to hear, then realized that, of course, Rin would have hung onto every word.

Carefully, Isha’a touched his arm. A muscle jumped under his palm. “Are you okay?”

For a moment, it was as though Rin hadn’t heard him. Then, Rin’s eyes slid closed. “No,” he murmured, pained. “Is he gone?”

“I think so.”

He waited for Rin to say something else. When he didn’t, Isha’a climbed onto the bed with him. The room was stuffy, the smoldering heat of a desert summer in full, blistering bloom outside, but Rin had started to shake enough that Isha’a unfolded the blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it about the both of them, the way he used to do when they were children and curled beneath the comforters together to hide from the night’s cold shroud. To Isha’a’s surprise, Rin huddled into him, his tail curled tight over his lap.

“Thank you,” said Rin, finally. He shivered despite the warmth burning in from the open window, his breathing unsteady. “Isha’a, I…I have to tell you something.”

There was a wound as jagged as broken glass in his voice. Isha’a hesitated, then reached over to squeeze Rin’s hand, resting limp and clammy against his knee. Rin didn’t acknowledge it, but he didn’t pull away, either. “I’m listening.”

“When you found Luma, Father didn’t want me to go, and we—argued. I argued, because he was detached from it all, and I wanted…I wanted him to hear what I was saying. I wanted him to react.” Rin’s gaze slipped for a moment into an unfocused stare; he dragged himself back with visible effort, struggling to speak, struggling to stay present. “And he did. He…”

He trailed off, jaw tight. “What happened?” prompted Isha’a, very gently. Something cold had started to prickle at his scalp and trail its talons down his spine as Rin grappled for words he couldn’t seem to say, a hard knot lodging in his throat. 

His brother looked at him vacantly. Then, he ghosted his hand over his left cheek, as Cheye had once done so long ago, prodding a bruise inflicted by an overzealous Brass Blade. Isha’a’s stomach bottomed out from under him at once.

Oh.

“Afterward, he denied me nothing. If it was gil I wanted, I would have it, no questions asked. One day he even delivered my orchestrion rolls back to me and said I had earned my indulgences, although I was failing nearly every one of my courses by then. He—” Rin faltered, clenching at the blanket with a white-knuckled hand. “He bought an orchestrion for the house. He said it was a recommendation by a colleague, but—I knew. We both knew. And I—”

This time, Rin shuddered so violently Isha’a felt it in his own chest. His fingers tightened painfully around Isha’a’s, self-loathing dripping from his tone like venom. “I stayed with him, Isha’a. I let him buy me, even knowing that all this time he had the capacity to behave better than he did and chose not to. None of that mattered so long as I got what I wanted, so long as I had his attention, so long as he—” Rin’s lips pulled back from his teeth, not so much a grimace as a very painful grin. “Gods, there’s something wrong with me, because when I heard him say he’d let us come back to Sharlayan with him, all I wanted was to open the door. I wanted it so badly I had to leave the room; it was like it didn’t even matter that he hit me, or that I spent every fucking night during my last week in Sharlayan on top of the bell tower trying to decide whether or not I should—”

Rin caught himself too late. His expression slammed shut, and he physically recoiled from Isha’a as though that could take back what he had said.

Isha’a did not want to cry, just then. He wanted to swallow it down, to let Rin have the space to spill out the things that had been boiling inside him, but Isha’a could only remember how Rin had looked that day in Gridania, sitting under the hot sun with his head tilted back and his cheeks hollow as he tried desperately not to faint, could only remember that same hunted edge in his eyes when he’d said, “You have to come back to Sharlayan,” could only remember and think about how he should have done more. He could have done more, could have traveled back to Sharlayan, could have helped Rin pack his things, could have punched Senan in the face, could have, could have, could have—

Could have lost him. Forever. For good.

Isha’a sobbed. He clung frantically to Rin, nearly tumbling them both to the floor when he snared himself in the blanket, crying, “There is nothing wrong with you, okay? Nothing. I—I’m so lucky to have you as my brother, and—and if you weren’t—if you—”

He felt Rin push his face into his shoulder, felt something damp start to seep through his shirt. “Okay,” said Rin.

“—and if Senan or anyone else comes around, I’ll be here. I’ll help you. I’ll—” Kill him, whispered some quiet corner of Isha’a’s mind, and meant it. “—I’ll feed them all to Maneater, okay? He’s hungry for flesh.”

Rin’s laugh teetered dangerously close to weeping. “Is that a promise, Isha’a?” he said.

And Isha’a replied, holding him as tightly as he could, “Yes.”

isha’a belongs to @mimiorzea

[katzenkrieg]

Loredump: Cam’s Thoughts on Urianger

I have a massive loredump (see link in my bio) I work on updating occasionally, recording all kinds of details on my WoL, paladin Camille Delane, and his journey to date. Just finally got Urianger’s entry updated! So if you like reading other people’s thoughts on their characters and on NPCs, here you go.

Spoilers through all of the ShB!

Urianger (canon, Scion; 29 at start, 33 before ShB time jump, 37 at end of ShB) – Up until the events that returned the Warriors of Darkness to the First, Camille had no idea what to make of Urianger. Why was Urianger even in the Scions? How did everyone else know him? Why does he talk like he does? No one bothered to explain any of this to Camille, and he mostly left Urianger alone because...that seemed to be what the Elezen wanted. He did let Urianger know everything he learned about primals in combat, but that was about it.

Following Urianger’s collusion with the Warriors of Darkness, Cam just about had had it with him. Yes, it worked out well in the end--but summoning primals and risking another Calamity without telling anyone else about what he was doing *really* seemed like a bad way to go about solving the problem. Or any problem, really. Alisaie joining the Scions saved Urianger from being cornered by an angry Warrior of Light who wanted to know what the fuck Urianger thought he’d been doing. Alisaie read the situation immediately after the final battle with the Warriors of Darkness accurately and had a number of pointed conversations with Urianger and Camille, both individually and together, that defused most of the tension between them--mostly by calling them both out on a mutual failure to communicate or trust each other. The fact that Alisaie has known Urianger since they were both very young has also helped Camille trust him more.

Urianger and Cam didn’t really have much to do with one another during the fight to free Doma and Ala Mhigo--aside from Urianger handing Cam a stick and being like, “This’ll only work if you have no idea what it is. You’re good at not having any idea what anything is.” At least Urianger was being direct about keeping secrets that time, and everything worked out well and without any Calamity-inducing surprises in Cam and Lyse’s fight with Fordola, so Cam didn’t hold the “hey, ignorance is your gift” thing against Urianger. Too much.

Meeting Urianger again in the First was something of a shock. Cam had never really thought of Urianger as an actual *person,* with his own life and interests; in Il Mheg, Urianger seemed to have found a place where he felt comfortable and engaged enough with his surroundings to actually *not keep secrets* and live a full life. At first, Cam was more than happy to help the pixies pull pranks on Urianger (like making his books into living, biting creatures…), but as time went on and Cam saw more and more of Urianger’s relationships with Ryne and Thancred, with the pixies and other fae, and with the First as a whole, he began to stop resenting him and seeing him as a mystery and a cypher, a symbol of the Sharlayan Scions’ pretentiousness, secretiveness, and exclusionary, gatekeeping ‘white tower’-ness. Urianger’s obvious feelings of duty to the First and to Ryne and Minfilia, and his, to Cam, fairly goofy interest in fairy tales and fairy-tale-type magic, in particular, threw Cam’s perception of Urianger off-balance and made him rethink his feelings toward the Elezen.

After overhearing Urianger’s very honest, open, supportive, and generally incredibly emotionally respectful and perceptive talk with Ryne, encouraging her to believe in and have faith in herself and admitting his own past mistakes, Cam finally had to sit down with himself and admit that Urianger had become the Scion he most trusted to deal with complicated emotions and relationships among the Scions. In fact, Urianger playing moderator between Cam and Thancred probably saved the group from dissolving into useless fighting and finger-pointing many times. 

Of cross, Cam also had to deal with the fact that Urianger was, despite these apparent changes, *still* keeping secrets from him--not telling Cam that he was undergoing obvious Light corruption, for instance. And then, finally, revealing that he had, in fact, decided to accept G’raha Tia’s desire to sacrifice himself to save Cam and go right along with it and not question it through the entire time the Scions had been in the First…

Though he *was* understandably angry about this last set of facts, when it finally came to light, Cam also had a lot of other things to think about at the time (for instance, being a Lightwarden in all but physical form…) *and* he had more insight into what seems to make Urianger tick, to explain Urianger’s actions. Cam sees Urianger now as someone whose primary weakness is the same love of lore and fairy stories that is his strength--Urianger will cast himself as tragic lead or the tragic lead’s secret accomplice in any interesting story that comes along, and it’s up to Cam and the other Scions to keep alert to that impulse and check it constantly. As the Light is finally banished from the First, Cam’s resigned to it being his business, in the future, to push into Urianger’s private life *and* to drag Urianger out into the larger world regularly, just to make absolutely sure Urianger’s not wrapping himself up in another self-isolating unnecessary tragic narrative. Cam’s incredibly grateful that Y’shtola’s also decided this is her job and that Urianger has Thancred, Ryne, and Gaia to impose social life on him now.

Cam’s certain Thancred and Urianger are a couple these days. He has no idea when or how that happened (beyond knowing it’s new to their time in the First), and he hasn’t asked about it yet. He’s not sure he wants to know…

Cam considers Urianger one of Ryne’s primary parents. Thancred, of course, is also one of Ryne’s primary parents, but Urianger’s done a much better job in the role than Thancred, really, to date.

If the Scions in the First ever get back to the Source, Cam may just drag Urianger off to get blessed by the kojins’ kami, because honestly, *swimming is not that bad,* Urianger. Who makes deals with the fuath just to avoid learning to swim?

Cam goes through Urianger’s stuff whenever he can, surreptitiously, and isn’t above also asking pixies, including Feo Ul, to look through Urianger’s stuff/keep an eye on him. He’s not going to let Urianger surprise him with some ridiculous secret tragic plot again.

If Thancred and Ardbert hadn’t been around, there’s a chance Cam would have gotten together with Urianger, or at least tried to, while they were in the First. He was lonely! In any AU where Cam ends up the Faery King, Urianger and Cam *definitely* get together, because Urianger is very clearly fascinated by the fae and also very clearly into seeing himself as responsible for his friends’ weird, life-altering choices.

He won’t admit it, but prior to events in the First, Cam was actually jealous of Urianger’s closeness to Alisaie sometimes. Especially when Urianger gave her that really cool, extremely appropriate for her pink crystal sword and Cam was like WHY DIDN’T HE THINK OF THAT. Urianger doesn’t even fight using a sword! How could Cam not have thought to give her a sword? He beat himself up over that one for a while.