#when he came to pick it up

[floodlight-bridge]

This one took some doing and is one of the more unique gates I’ve ever made

[magpiedraws]

Jon he's really trying here cut him a break

(tumblr crunched the resolution of this comic a lot rip)

[nevermeyers]

I find it very realistic that Megumi wants to try to live for someone else again instead of for himself directly. I mean it. It will take him a long time to recover from what he has suffered, which was too much for a child (because he is still a child!!). At first I thought Megumi was going to pick himself up, but looking at it from another perspective and analyzing my own experience with mental health: it makes sense. Megumi needs help. And he will get it. Yuuji and his friends will teach him to live for himself. The ending of Megumi's character is a new beginning, unlike the others.

Btw, did y'all notice his scars are Sukuna's? The way i'd kms on the spot, poor boy :( he's going to live with the curse of remembering every time he looks on the mirror

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 194

Bart is frozen. He’s terrified- his heart is beating faster in his chest than it’s ever done before yet he couldn’t even start to force himself to run, his body practically vibrating in place as he shook. 

There was a familiar feeling in the air, one he’d never thought he’d ever feel again once he’d slipped back in time. He couldn’t breathe, everything felt like it was falling away except for that horrifying fiery aura- 

“Kid, are you okay?” There was a hand on his shoulder, light as a feather (he’d learned that from gramps!) yet grounding. 

He finally managed to suck in a breath, however wheezy, and looked up to answer, the words dying in his throat before they even began. 

“Kid? Holy shit-” Bart didn’t hear anything else as his poor brain fizzled and he fainted. 

Danny blinks down at the barely-teenager who seemed to just have some sort of attack before fainting practically in his arms. He’d say diabetes or something, but he has no way to be sure and is maybe panicking himself. 

“Wow Mum, wha’ you do?” a toddler Dan- he knew what he did but honestly his baby lisp was adorable- snarked from next to him, chewing on his kid leash. Which he wasn’t getting out of until he could both stop floating whenever he saw the stars (yes he knew he used to do the same thing, shush) and walk out into traffic. 

[nappingmoon]

suguru x reader - nsfw

wc: 3.6k

suguru coming to see you after he defected from jujutsu tech. 🎀

a/n: i actually forgot that jjk is highschool and not college before writing this so with the power bestowed upon me on tumblr dot com i declare that this is an au where everything is the same except suguru defects when he's like 22 and not 17 okay thank you stay blessed

you're on the porch of your little apartment-- a luxury in this market. between your fingers hangs a little cigarette, a bad habit that you picked up after one too many nights spent in shoko's presence. regardless, the headrush that each drag brings is a welcome feeling. you hadn't seen suguru since before he defected, and he hadn't deigned to reach out. in the weeks leading up to the incident -a detached term, as if calling it 'the massacre' would be too real of a reminder- you had spent nearly every night with him. you were often sent on separate missions during the day and on the occasion that you did see one another in public, not much more than a simple greeting or casual chat was exchanged between the two of you.

at night, however, he always found a way into your sheets. before the fateful mission, what you had was fun. it was sexy and sneaky and exciting and your heart always raced at the thought of what he was going to surprise you with that night. after the mission, the moments turned slower, needier, more intimate. suguru started talking less, instead craving your moans and becoming more insistent on ensuring your pleasure. he wouldn't let you touch him as much, and he grew increasingly frustrated when you would try to push his head away from between your thighs before he made you cum at least twice. his mannerisms became less cocky and assured and turned frantic and anxious, like an animal who just barely managed to escape a predator and still can't figure out if he's safe or not. you tried to work your way in to his brain, his heart, but he only opened up in vague sentences or deflected to a different topic. teetering the line between concerned questioning and prying was difficult and you could tell that if you overstepped, it was likely that he'd withdraw completely. when you heard the news, heard about the incident, your heart dropped, but you can't say you were completely surprised. there's just been radio silence then.

when you feel a presence approach from behind you, you don't jump. there's no need. you know who it is and you've been expecting him. in honest, it took him longer to seek you out than you thought it would. suguru's form comes into your field of vision, body obscuring most of your view of the right side of the street. neither of you speak as he plucks the cigarette from your fingers. pinched between his forefinger and thumb, suguru brings the butt to his lips. you watch as he inhales, the burning red end of the cig sparkling as it works its way up towards his fingers. his lungs expand and it is enough to finish what you had left. he tilts his head up as he releases the smoke, taking a peek at the sky. though the city lights dimmed much of the sky's vibrancy, a few scattered stars still burned bright enough to hold an audience. he's gorgeous.

the last of the smoke is still wisping out of his mouth when he finally speaks, his voice gravelly. "you've got to stop hanging out with shoko. this shit will kill you." you huff an amused exhale and lean your head onto your propped arm, watching as suguru rubs the end of the dying cigarette into your railing and dropping the ashed remnants into your little strawberry themed ashtray.

"a bit late to start worrying about things that could kill me, isn't it, suguru?" you raise your eyebrow and look him up and down. he's skinnier and the bags under his eyes are ever present, but he holds himself a little higher than he has in the past weeks. tormented, but assured of his decisions. he's dressed in casual clothes, likely to keep a low profile and avoid run ins with any sorcerers on his way to you. "I heard you had a run in with satoru the other day, how are you?" what the two of you had was special, sure, but you knew that no one came above satoru in his eyes. they were an inseparable pair, heads and tails, yin and yang. the split can't have been easy at all.

"I made a choice," suguru starts, eyes blankly roaming over your street. he still hasn't looked you in the eyes. "and he made his. that's all there is to it."

you hum, unconvinced but also not willing to put up a fight you clearly had no shot at winning. "and so now you've come to see little old me? are you gonna try to convince me to join the official suguru geto fanclub? become a loyal member and kneel at your feet until the day i die?"

finally turning to you, he scoffs and a small smile graces his lips at your antics. "while you on your knees is one of my favorite sights, I know you. your morals would never let you join me." he says, and the word 'morals' comes out like an insult. even still, at his first words your head fills with images of the past and you adjust your position on the railing, legs crossing lightly. the movement doesn't escape his notice.

"if you didn't come to convince me to join you, then what did you come for? i could turn ya in right now. should do it to if only for the fact that you left without telling me." you turn away from him, annoyance rising at the memory of sitting in your empty room, feeling so heavily the lack of his pretty face and cat-like form splayed on your bed asking questions about your skin care routine and teasing you for the trinkets you still have as remnants of the phases you went through at fifteen.

suguru doesn't answer and instead goes inside, the duck under the door frame a habitual motion. you follow him inside, sliding your glass door closed behind you. he makes his way through your apartment, touching little things as he goes. he adjusts the picture frame that holds the photo of you, the other second years, himself, satoru, and shoko. he avoids looking at haibara's smiling face and continues on into your room.

before following him, you grab him one of his favorite bottled teas from your fridge. you always kept a pack for him, and last week you found yourself unpacking them from your trip to the grocery store before you even realized what you had done.

when you enter your room, you see him sat on the edge of your bed. you come to stand between his spread legs, cold drink in your left hand while your right comes up to trace around his face. you play with the little bang that he always keeps out of his bun. "are slut strands just allowed in your cult or are they mandatory?" you tease.

"ha ha." suguru replies dryly. "give me some of the tea, please." you crack the cap open and extend the drink towards his hand, but instead of receiving it, he grabs your hips. thinking he's just being lazy, you bring the edge to his lips, ready to pour it in for him. his lips stay sealed and he shakes his head. confused, you still for a moment befor- oh. oh. as the realization dawns on your face, he grins and gently nods.

the bastard wants you to spit it in his mouth. it's something that started out a long time ago as a joke and stuck around, you doing it to one another every so often. but now? "you can drink it yourself, dickhead." you say, but he digs his fingers into your hips, and keeps his lips together, the refusal crystal clear. you know you shouldn't-- he is currently a criminal of the highest order. he's killed innocents and shed the blood of those you have risked your life to protect. he is a million times more dangerous than the cigarette he chided you for earlier. and yet. and yet and yet and yet. the pressure of his hands on your hips is so familiar and you have missed it so much. he has filled the space in your apartment that he left behind and just seeing him here once again is making your heart thump. logically, you should run as fast as you can. instead, you bring the rim to your lips, let the cool liquid fill your mouth, and lean over. suguru brings one hand up from your hip, dragging it up your body before coming to rest on your face. you lean into the touch that you missed so much and allow him to bring your face to his, to bring your lips together. you let the tea pass from your lips to his and a bit spills down his chin. even so, he does nothing to stop it, and you aren't even entirely sure he noticed at all because as soon as the tea is done trickling into his mouth, his tongue comes into your mouth to tangle with yours. the hand on your cheek reaches around your head to press you closer into him. he takes the bottle from your hand and reaches down to place it on the floor before standing.

suguru is intoxicating. that is the only way you can describe him. with just a few kisses he has complete power over you. as he leans over to continue making out with you, you tug at his shirt, eager to run your hands across his skin again. you've missed the feeling so much. smiling into your kiss, he reaches down to grab the end of the cloth and bring it over his head, only separating long enough to get the shirt off before returning to you. he reaches down to grab the backs of your thighs and you jump, straddling him as you take his bottom lip between your teeth. you nibble softly, teasingly as you open your eyes to look into his. his pupils are blown and you know yours must be the same. he turns to face the bed, bringing his knee up and working his way up until he can lay you on your pillows. suguru cradles your head as he sets you on the bed, finally separating from you to lean back and get a good look at you. your spit shines on his lips as moonlight filters in through the space where your curtains don't quite close.

your chest rises and falls with vigor, finally getting an adequate air supply, but you itch to be close to him once again. you grab your shirt and rid yourself of it quickly, absentmindedly noting that it was actually one of the shirts he left at your place a while ago. you wore them when you missed him. (not a night passed in a shirt that wasn't his.) his fingers reach for the waistband of your shorts, grabbing the edge of your panties with them and working them down your legs. though standing for 10 seconds and ridding himself of his pants would have been easier, suguru shares your desperation for closeness and bends at the waist, laving at the hollow of your neck while shimmying out of his pants. your hands tug at his hair and run over the muscles of his back not minding the rustle of his body over yours because the weight over you was one you missed so much. when he finally kicks his pants and boxers off, he stays stuck to your chest, leaving a trail of little kisses in his wake. he makes it to your nipple where he presses one sweet kiss to the tip before taking it in his mouth and sucking. he moans at the feeling of your soft flesh in his mouth. you are an exquisite being and he truly worships every fiber of your existence. during the time he spent apart from you, he thought of this moment over and over. he moves over to your other nipple, sucking in marks on the way, making sure you are left with lasting evidence of his love. you gasp at the sting of his bite, looking down at where he laps at a small bead of red from where his teeth broke skin. over his broad shoulders, you can see where he grinds his hips into the bed, mindlessly seeking release while he focuses on his current devotion. your tummy swirls as he makes his way down, leaving little nips and hickies scattered in a pattern not unlike what he saw earlier in the sky. when he finally reaches your mound and presses a first kiss to your clit, you reach down and grab his face.

when suguru looks you in the eyes from his position between your legs, you swear he is only half registering you. he seems almost dazed, eyes glossy and head yearning to drop back down into your heat to give you the head of your life. before he can swat away your hands, however, you speak up, voice thick with need. "feel s'empty sugu." you whine, "need you in me now. it's been so long."

"but baby, need'ta stretch you out. need to make you cum and get you all ready t' take me. neeeed to taste you" he says, still fighting the hands that keep him up.

"i don't need it sugu. m' so wet. i promise. i need you to fill me up, 've missed it so much." this gets him out of his daze, and he begins to crawl back up to you.

"you need me that bad? yeah?" he whispers, hovering over you.

"mmhmm"

"needy girl got all soaked from just having me here, huh? you just need to be fucked this instant? my poor baby. i've neglected you too much." he starts dragging his dick up and down your folds, collecting your slick to make sure that he'll slide in easy enough. your nails grip on to his back, trying to entice him to put it in already. "okay baby, don't worry. i'll give you what you need."

suguru places a kiss to your cheekbone as pushes in. you both inhale at the sensation taking a moment to adjust. he slowly continues lowering himself in, murmuring small praises into your ear as you take all of him in. the stretch brings a twinge of pain, and likely would have been absent all together had suguru been allowed to give you the foreplay he wanted but the sense of love and tranquility that filled you as soon as he was all the way in was the closest thing you could get to heaven on earth. there was nothing in your heart, mind, or soul but love for the man taking over your senses.

sex with suguru varied a lot. nights after bars and parties were filled with giggly sex and lots of foreplay. after high adrenaline missions he was rough and experimental. if a teammate was seriously hurt or there was a casualty, he tended to need to be more dominant, finding solace in being able to control every aspect of your pleasure, from denying you your orgasm all night or overstimulating you and getting you to your peak more times than you could count. sometimes he liked to use toys, to tie you up, to let you tie him up. tonight though, he was tentative. he knew what you wanted and you were clear that you needed him, but the now that he was so close to you, the small, ugly voice of insecurity and shame inside bubbled up. shame for shutting you out, for his sins, for leaving, the list goes on. and so he uses each thrust into you as an apology. he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers between yours and pressing them into your mattress. his eyes were screwed shut because he wasn't sure that if he looked at your teary eyes he could keep his composure and he needed tonight to be about you, to make you feel good.

he's quieter than normal and you notice it. the turmoil is all too clear to you and you know that he needs you now more than ever. "s- suguru, baby, look at me. please."

he shakes his head in response and your heart quivers. he's still your suguru despite it all. "baby please. look at me. it's okay. i'm okay and you're okay and we are going to make it through this." you place kisses on his nose and cheeks as he eases the tension in his face, peeking at you. the second he gets a good look at you, sweat already starting to stick hair to your forehead and eyes so enamored they almost have hearts in them, he groans and his pace falters for a sec. "you're making me feel so good suguru, you know that? you're so good to me, handsome. i could never stop loving you." you praise. you'd continue, but he dips his mouth to yours, cutting you off. you arch your back, pebbled nipples grazing his chest and he groans into you unlacing your fingers and bringing his hand to pinch your nipples. your moans fill the room. his thrusts get faster and the little plaps of your hips when they meet turn into more forceful smacks.

your praise and the way you feel around him nearly fry suguru's brain. the voices in his head are loud, telling him he's undeserving of you and your love and he whispers his apologies into your skin. he's overwhelmed and he's tearing up but he keeps rolling his hips into yours as if the world would end if he stopped. you try to get his attention by calling his name or clawing a bit at his back but he's in deep. reaching down between you, you swipe at your folds with two fingers, gathering some of your wetness only to reach up and stick them into suguru's mouth. he can't apologize with your digits pressing down on his tongue and you take the moment to reinforce your love. "suguru, listen to me. I love you and you don't have to apologize. you did what you had to do and that's okay. I love you." you pepper kisses between your words, trying your best to get your message through to him. he finally looks you in the eyes again, your voice his saving grace. "hi, baby. you back yet?" you say.

suguru finishes sucking your fingers clean and pulls back. "yeah, thanks for getting me out of there. 'was spiraling a lil bit. sor-" you cut off his apology with fingers to his lips and a roll of your own hips.

"don't apologize. just be here with me." you push at one shoulder with your arms, and suguru understands, grabbing your hips and flipping you over. "'s this okay?" you ask, straddling his hips and beginning to ride him.

"so much better than okay, gorgeous. 's perfect." as you bounce up and down, suguru reaches up to play with your clit and you feel the nerves send shocks up your spine. he starts whispering things like "you are the best thing that has ever happened to me" and "you're so perfect, doll. all mine"

as you near your peak, your legs start to shake and burn. you whine at the at the decrease in friction that comes of your slowing hips and suguru takes this as his moment to pick things back up. with his hands lifting you, he gives himself enough space to prop himself up and get a strong base to thrust into you from below. with your sugu now taking the lead, everything is just more intense. you fold over, trying to kiss him but missing due to the sheer force with which suguru is moving your body. small 'ah's come from your mouth and you feel your toes curl as you are tipped over, a wave of pleasure washing over you. you tighten up and your muscles twitch as suguru continues thrusting, chasing after his release and following just behind you. he pulls your body to his, gripping you in a tight, tight hug as he spills into you. his legs give out from under him and you land together in a little heap of love, sweat, and limbs. his dick slips out of you and you already miss the sensation of being full, of being so close to him. for now though, you take the moment to catch your breath and to let your heart sync up with his. in a little, you two will get up and you will pee and brush your teeth side by side. when you come out, the bed will be clean and you will cuddle with your lover and be soothed into sleep by his slow breaths, grateful that you had at least this moment with him, sure that he'll disappear on you come sunrise.

in the morning, as the sun begins to warm your room, every logical thought is tell him to leave before you wake up. it will be easier to split without seeing your face, and talking in the morning will only create longer term attachment that has no place in the future he is building for himself and his girls. honestly, best case scenario would be you being so angry at him for leaving that you get over him all together. it is so simple!

so when he finds himself in your kitchen, making your eggs how you like them and pouring your cup of coffee in your favorite mug with just the right amount of milk in sugar, he's just as surprised as you are. and when you give him a kiss and sit in his lap and he sees the splotches of reds and purples that decorate your neck, paired with the little bit of drool from sleeping so well, he remembers why he didn't choose the easy route. where things will go from here is uncertain, but the outside world has no place in your apartment-- in his sanctuary. all that matters is your warmth in his arms and your lips on his.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I wouldn't really agree that boys are just arm candy in magical girl shows and only there to look cute. Yeah, sure the girls' friendships are the focus, but the boys are usually very much involved in the plot and most shows do explore their feelings about the odd things that happen due to magical shenanigans even if they aren't in the know (It's why ML baffles me even more with how they screwed up Adren's arc when he's the deuteragonist, when all these boys are supporting cast and get well rounded arcs)

I'm not much of a winx fan, but the specialists were very much not arm candy. Did the girls talk about them being cute? Yes, it's what teenage girls do. Did the narrative suggest they were good looking? Yes, but that's standard for most love interests in any genre. But we still got scenes with them talking amongst themselves about how they themselves feel and they got a fair share of badass fight scenes even if they wield no magic. A large amount of episodes actually included the boys and girls working as a team solving a mystery or fighting a villain. The girls might deal the finishing blow but the boys were still integral to the plot.

I hope this doesn't come across as hate, it definitely wasn't my intention. I'm just a bit too passionate about the magical girl genre.

I do think you have a good point with ML having a problem choosing a genre or blending two genres successfully.

For the CCS fans, I will add though that Cardcaptor Sakura had both Tomoyo and Syaoran serve as sources of motivation for Sakura. And both Sakura and Syaoran collecting cards even if Sakura is the only one who could seal them and yet never made you question whether Syaoran was even necessary for the job the way ml does with Chat.

I wasn't trying to say that boys have no part to play in magical girl team shows or that they're always treated as having no lives beyond the girls, that's why I mentioned that the Winx Club boys - aka, the Specialists - have their own (mostly off screen) lives and occasionally show up help the girls:

the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship

Even then, this is certainly a simplification of the roles that they play in the story, but I kind of had to simplify their roles down to their base components for the original post's discussion as I was talking in broad strokes of how these stories are written.

In terms of those broad strokes, the Specialists are absolutely only there for shipping fodder. That's why each one is assigned to a girl from the start and why their main role in the narrative is supporting their assigned love interest or causing relationship-based drama for their assigned love interest. If it weren't for shipping, then the Specialists would not exist.

While the Specialists do have fleshed out characters and may even effect the plot, the execution of those elements is designed around the girls. A really obvious example of this is the character Timmy, who has character development as the boy's tech guy. Why is he into technology? Because he's the designated love interest for the fairy of Technology and we have to show why they're a good match. Along similar lines, the boys don't really get plots that are removed from the girls because this is the girl's show. Every episode features one or more of the Winx, but the boys are optional and often don't appear.

This is because, narratively speaking, the boys are just love interests and that brings us back to Miraculous' big problem. You can't have a show where Adrien is written like a Specialist while also being part of the Winx Club and where Alya is written like she's part of the Winx Club while technically being more of a Specialist in terms of power set and actual narrative role.

I'm was thinking back to my memories of various Winx Club plots to find one that really highlighted what I mean here and I remembered that one of the big dramas in season one was the reveal that Bloom's love interest - Sky - was in an arranged marriage and had just never told her. As it turns out, that's a great example of what I'm talking about re Adrien!

Is that plot line technically based around Sky and letting his life effect the plot? Sure, but the fallout of that reveal revolves around Bloom, not Sky. The story doesn't really care how Sky's feeling as the conflict progresses. Instead, it focuses on how it affects Bloom and her friends because of course it does! She's the main character. It would be really weird if that plot suddenly focused on her side character love interest and his friends during one of her darkest hours/biggest moments.

Think of that and then consider how the ending of season five is written. Notice any similarities? Sure, this is Adrien's family drama, but because he's just a Specialist, the focus isn't on him. It's on Winx Club member Marinette and Adrien only shows up at the end for a kiss. That is the problem. That is what I'm talking about when I say that Miraculous will randomly write him as if we're watching a magical girl team show where Adrien is just the love interest.

In fact, let's really dig into this example because it's a good one.

You can have a look at the transcript for the finale episode of Miraculous season five here and see for yourself that Adrien doesn't even show up on screen until the final scenes when the big drama is over. The Winx Club wiki also has episode transcripts, so I took a look to see what happened in Winx land during the arranged marriage reveal plot (I love that this is a thing. It's so useful for fact checking myself!) This is the script for the episode after Bloom learns the truth. Sky does not appear even though his lies and family drama are the fuel for this episode's events, which are a major part of the season's arc. Note how perfectly that matches Adrien's writing?

Similarly, Sky's dialogue in the reveal episode is all about Bloom. He's worried about her learning the truth and thinking less of him. To match that, here's Adrien's only real dialogue in the penultimate episode of season five (full transcript):

Adrien:(Covers his ears.) I cannot transform... (Looks at his ring and tries taking it off.) Plagg: What are you doing?! Adrien: I'm not in my right mind. I'm too angry — at myself for falling short of Marinette's love, at my father for sending me here in London, at this stupid app and these rings that use my image... it makes me sick! This nightmare is giving me the horrible feeling that, if I transform, I'll get akumatized and destroy everything with my Cataclysm — Marinette, Ladybug... (Takes off the ring and hands it to Plagg.)

Switching back to Winx. After Bloom learns the truth about Sky, bad things happen because she's depressed. This results in her and the Winx going off on a journey to learn the truth of who Bloom is. After the girls share this big plot moment and Bloom gets her mojo back, the boys show up to be their ride home and to give Bloom her romance moment where Sky wins her back by declaring that he broke off the arranged married because he loves her.

Sky notably doesn't get an arc about choosing between his arranged marriage and his true love. We don't even know that the marriage is broken off until he tells Bloom because that was never really a conflict as far as the narrative was concerned. Of course he's going to pick Bloom! He's her designated side character love interest! He only exists to be with her. We don't need to treat this as a serious thing for him. The arranged marriage plot was never about him anyway. It was about giving Bloom a reason to have a darkest hour moment that moves the plot forward. Similarly, Sky calling off the marriage is nowhere near as important as him telling Bloom that he's called off the marriage to be with her in a grand romantic gesture.

This perfectly mirrors Miraculous' season five ending where Adrien doesn't appear until after Marinette is done fighting her big girl power fight against his father. As far as the writing is concerned, that fight isn't about him. His connection to the villain only really matters in terms of how it affects Marinette's actions during the final battle. Then, when the battle is over, Adrien shows up to give Marinette her big romance moment because, while the plot may be driven by Adrien's family, he is not a Winx club member. He's just a Specialist. Or, in the words of the head writer:

[image text: She's Barbie, he's Ken. You don't like it. I get it. It won't change. Anything else?] (The full, even more damning context of this tweet can be found here.)

What else can I say other than, "I rest my case."

Oh, and also that I didn't take this as an attack. I just thought it was a good opportunity to really dig into the nuances of this and what I was talking about in that original post as I never know how obvious this stuff is if you don't closely study story telling. As this case study hopefully shows, if a show is about a group of girl friends using the power of friendship, then their love interests may have important roles, but the boys are never going to be more important than the girls and most of the boy's screen time will be focused on romance and how their existence effects the girls because it's ultimately the girls' world. Without them, the show wouldn't exist. Without the boys? Well, then we just wouldn't have a romance plot.

[garnet-xx-rose]

No but the Phantom’s opening lines in the show..

Insolent boy, this SLAVE of Fashion BASKING in your Glory???!!!

BARS! ABSOLUTE BARS!

[royalarchivist]

Amouranth: ...What happened to the dumpy? Oh, I guess that was Carrera (Carre).

Amouranth: Ruben, why do you– why do you look like Shaggy mixed with Peter Pettigrew? What happened? [She keeps going back to the picture and staring at it with growing concern] This is a pass– this picture is a pass! Wtf...

Rubius only has 3 looks: magazine model, cosplayer, or gamer shrimp.

[hailsatanacab]

@the-ghost-trader - ooooh, i love this! it has the potential to be so incredibly sad, too, like poor Damian just trying to carve out something normal for himself only for it blow up in his face

BUT, shockingly, i'm not about the angst today! not yet anyway 😇

---

“So, how was your day?”

Despite his answering groan, Damian likes this. This. This whole… thing he has with Danielle. With Ellie. 

And, yeah, he’s not exactly told any of the others yet, but can you blame him? For wanting to keep something, anything, to himself. Wanting to keep this small little slice of goodness he’s managed to carve out, untouched and unmarred by his family, by their other lives, by the rogues, the vigilantes, the assassins, everyone.

“That bad, huh?”

Being with Ellie is freeing. That’s the best way to describe it.

She knows. Damian surprised even himself when he told her—not about the others, mind, but he supposes it’s not hard to put two and two together and Dani has always been smarter than most—but it’s the best decision he’s ever made, and no matter what the niggling little voice in the back of his head says (the one that sounds suspiciously like Father), he can’t bring himself to regret it.

He won’t. Because having Ellie know gives him freedom.

She’s a safe place, a hand to hold, a warm, welcoming presence when things inevitably turn ugly. It’s the freedom to just be normal when everything else in his life spirals into stranger and more stressful missions.

“Richard is being insufferable again. I do not understand his incessant need to know everything about my life.”

“Oh? What’s he done now?” 

“I was subjected to an hour long interrogation about my love life, like it’s any of his business. It’s infuriating!”

“Ugh, tell me about it. I get the same thing from Jazz, constantly. It can be suffocating.” Ellie says as she curls herself tighter into his side. “But it’s just how they show they care.”

“Yes, well, sometimes I wish he wouldn’t—”

“Hey!” Ellie pushes herself up to glare at him, punctuating her shout with a soft whack to his arm for good measure. “What have I said about using that word?”

“Yes, yes,” he placates with a roll of his eyes, “‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I apologise, it won't happen again.”

“Damn straight it won't.”

She maintains eye contact with him for a second longer before tucking herself back into his side, squirming around with a long, contented hum that Damian can feel rumble through him. He smiles and doesn’t complain even when he has to shift to give her more room after a particularly strong elbow jabs him in the ribs. It means leaving the warm patch on the couch, but he’s rewarded with another long, happy moan as she settles and Damian can’t bring himself to mind.

Ellie constantly makes noises. Little mews and hums and laughs and songs known only to her. It reminds him of a cat, sometimes. He likes it. It calms him down; it means she’s happy, so he's happy.

They settle back into the cushions and Damian lets the subject drop, not wanting to spoil the moment. Outside, the wind changes direction and from where he’s laying he can watch as the snow starts to come down thick and heavy. Hopefully it’ll mean a quiet night's patrol.

“Is that why you haven’t introduced me yet?”

“What?” He can't help it, he stiffens at the thought of losing his secret, of the scrutiny he'll be inviting if he lets anyone know.

“Are you worried I’ll embarrass you?”

Damian’s eyes snap down quick to reassure her, only to see her light, teasing grin. He lets out a breath of relief. It figures she wouldn't worry about that.

“Of course not, don’t be absurd. You could never embarrass me.”

“I don’t know,” she muses, her voice taking on a dangerous lilt, “that sounds like a challenge.”

“Believe me, having been subjected to Father’s Brucie persona at every gala I’ve been to, it would take a lot to embarrass me.”

“Alright, bet. I’ll get you, just you wait.”

“You’ve already got me.”

She flicks him on the nose. “You’re such a sap.”

He hums his agreement, enjoying the tinkling sound of her laughter. And then, before he can think otherwise, he asks, “Is that why you haven’t introduced me?”

“That’s different,” she scowls. “You know how hard it is to get there, there’s no signal, and Danny only gets a break like—oh, Ancients!”

Damian gets another elbow to the ribs as she bolts upright, a manic grin on her face that has him laughing.

“What is it?”

“It’s the holidays! It’s nearly Truce Day! You know I said I had a family thing around Christmas?”

“Yes?” 

“Well, do you want to come to it? I can introduce you then! I mean, it’s going to be a bit formal and you’ll have to meet everyone, not just family. There’s going to be some banquets, you’ll have to sit through some long speeches and you have to be on your best behaviour at all times, okay? Absolutely no fighting, it’s called Truce Day for a reason!”

“What?”

“Yeah, it’ll be perfect! I think Jazz is going in a couple days earlier to help with the preparations, so I’ll get her to let Danny know—and fair warning, he will try to give you the shovel talk, but this is great! It’s Truce Day, so he can’t actually do anything about it!”

“I’m sorry, but you're going to have to explain a bit.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s a bit much—but that’s family, right? Danny can get pretty protective over me, which is why going on Truce Day is the best time to do it! He can’t even command the Fright Knight to stab you! It’s genius!”

“Ellie, what?”

“Like, yeah, sure, he’s the king, but even he has to obey the rules of Truce Day—and then once you’ve spent all day with him, he’ll see that you’re a fantastic, wonderful, kind, brilliant, smart, strong, capable person and he’ll get over himself and everything will be good!"

Damian collapses down onto the couch, the wind knocked out of him. This is… He had not expected anything like this at all. For all that Ellie talked about her family, she had never mentioned this.

“Did you… did you say your brother is a king?”

“Yeah! High King Phantom, have I…” The manic grin slips off her face as she turns round and notices Damian. “Have I not mentioned that before?”

“No. No, you have not.”

“Ah. Sorry. Probably should clarify that I’m also a princess.”

“Right. Yes, that follows.”

“And I’m not really his sister, I’m his clone.”

“What?”

Damian blinks and tries to say more, but he has no idea what he’s meant to do with… any of this information. 

Normal. He thought she was meant to be his normal. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

Not that it changed anything, of course, of that he was certain. It’s just… a lot to take in. Overwhelming. But it's okay! He takes a deep breath, and another, and a sense of calm washes over him. Ellie makes one of her little hums as she cocks her head to the side to consider him and he can't help but relax at the normalcy of the sound. It'll be okay, he's dealt with stranger and he can deal with this.

“I’ve, uh… I’ve told you that we’re half ghosts, though, right?”

“What?”

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAu Drabble - The Gang

Hello! I am back because I had an idea! And so I must WRITE! @spotaus Hope you ready friend :3

It is a feel good one! :D

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

No edit or beta we just having fun!

*------------------*

Horror carefully grabs the bowls and moves them to the sink as Killer and Cross go off to continue clearing their new area. Dust should still be in their nest as it is his rest day today.

Crop joins him in cleaning up the table. Horror shoots him a look "You are a guest." and he gives him a pointed look.

Crop just grins back "Oh you know! Small town politeness!" and he grabs the towel, clearing appointing himself drying duty.

Horror grins as he turns slightly "What do you say Nightmare?"

Nightmare stands wiht his arms crossed by the table. trying his best to look angry but Horror just thinks he is pouting.

Nightmare huffs as he looks down and mutters "I am perfe-ctle able to help dry." he glares harder as he tripped slightly over his words.

Horror chuckles and gently nudges him out of the room "Or. You could go outside with your book? Enjoy the sun as you read and keep an socket on Killer and Cross."

Nightmare frowns at him. Horror knows he isn't exactle being subtle but they don't need to be. Nightmare needs to relax and enjoy his second chance at a childhood.

Nightmare glances at the sink for a moment before nodding and leaving the kitchen. Horror listens for a moment and hears more shuffles before the frontdoor closes.

Horror nods and turns back to the sink and sees Crop's looking curiously.

Horror raises a brow but joins his side and the two start on the chore. Horror starts with soaping up the dishes "Still think that as guest you should relax."

Crop shrugs as he waits his turn to dry "I like helping."

Horror chuckles "And we are still very thankful... let us know how to repay you."

Crop waves it off as he leans back against the counter. Horror shoots him a glance and sees that Crop seems to debate something with himself. Horror just continiues washing the dishes.

"I did... wonder something..."

Horror hums and tilts his skull as he waits.

Crop seems to consider how to ask it before turning to Horror "Nightmare is... very helpful."

Horror chuckles "That is the right word alright. Wants to help with everything." the little perfectionist. Of course it isn't that surprising.

Crop rubs his cheek "Well... I mean... I was wondering... Was he... like that... before? When he was still... big?"

Horror blinks as he looks at Crop for a moment before nodding "Well, yeah." and he continues washing the dishes.

Crop blinks and stares "seriously? But everyone always spoke about well... you know..."

Horror raises a brow at his friend and grins "That he is someone who spreads negativity and only cares about that?"

Crop cringes and shrugs "I didn't mean it like that..."

horror nods "I know."

Crop glares at him and hfufs "How any of them can think you are the most mature is beyond me."

Horror chuckles "Has a lot to do with how i was introduced." the original meeting with Crop had after all been much more chaotic and Horror ahd been actively hostile back then. Let his own mischievous side shine more through. Horror still loves jokes and pranks he just knows when to pick his moments, unlike some people.

Crop finishes drying the next few dishes before shooting him a look "Like... introduced? How did you end up working together with them?"

Horror shrugs as he finishes washing the last few things "Same as everyone. Nightmare hired me."

Crop pauses before snorting and laughing "I am sorry. Now whenever i hear nightmare i immediantly see that tiny six year old and they idea of him just standing before you and hiring you like that is real funny."

Horror chuckles and nods "It is rather amusing. Trust me. We did not miss the fact that technically we all agreed to work for a six year old." even when that same six year old was parading around in the adult version of his body. It did explain some of Nightmare curious habbits. The way he would get grumpy if tired or when he was low on magic and negative energy. The way things had to happen in a very specific way or he would just stare at the problem. just a lot of tiny things.

Crop chcukles and looks over "So... what? He realised you were very strong and decided to hire you as muscle?"

Horror grins "Ironically. My role hardly changed between when i was first hired and now."

Crop blinks confused "Waht?"

Horror chuckles and shrugs "I was originally hired to keep an eye on Dust and Killer. So you could say that I was already hired as babysitter to begin with." he snorts at the look Crop sends him.

Crop just gapes at him "seriously?! But... like.. .you are you!" and he waves at him "mega strong and amazing with tracking and traps!"

Horrro shrugs "Nightmare didn't specifically need those things at the time. At the time he needed someone steady to keep the chaos of Killer and dust a bit more contained."

Crop finishes his own task and crosses his arms "really?"

horror nods "It is true. I was surprised myself. But... well... Even if Nightmare had always been a god and while he wasn't used to mortal things and habits..." especially not after being in a fake adult body for 500 years powered by godpowered apples "He isn't afraid to admit he doesn't know things. At least to himself."

Crop just stares at him and Hroror rubs his own neck "Killer was the first one to be recruited. I know that story but it isn't my place to tell. All I can say is that Killer took his role of first follower very seriously. But... well... it isn't an easy job that Killer and Nightmare did and Nightmare was very quickly aware Killer is a mortal."

Crop blinks and gives aslow nod "so he got help?"

Horror nods "exactly. We once asked Nightmare why he picked Dust and Nightmare had just told us that Dust fit the requirements and was willing."

Horror sometimes wonders if Nightmare had asked others before hand. If others had said no and he had just disappeared form their lives. Or if he asked Dust first but had been prepared to just leave if he said no. He never ended up asking him.

Crop gives a slow nod "Still doesn't explain your role."

Hroror grins "Dust and Killer hated one another."

Crop sputters "waht? No way! There is no way. Those two are like this!" he crosses his fingers "You all are!" and he waits.

Horror shrugs "took time. more important, took us all being honest and vulnerable." which none of them enjoyed being at the time. It had all felt too good to be true. Horror knew he sometimes worried that he would have woken up back in his universe, away from his new friends and his brother and world still slowly dying of starvation. Nightmare had offered him a solution in trade for his service, Horror had quickly accepted.

Crop frowns "Like... I know Killer annoys Dust a lot but i mean.. that is more like.. .you know... playground.... boys and girls..."

horror chuckles "you can call it flirting. THough Killer will die before admitting that, he will tell you he is teasing. big difference."

Crop groans as he rubs his face "but how did that came to be? If they hated one another?"

Horror shrugs "both of them reminded each other of themselves. They both hated that. Took a long time of me being there as supervisor and buffer before they started to interact without fighting." both a physical and a metaphorical buffer.

Crop seems to consider this before nodding "I guess that makes sense... And you had the same role when Cross joined?"

Horror shakes his skull "by that time I had already joined Nightmare's normal forces and took pretty much the same job as Dust and Killer had. but by that time we had all learned not to just judge a book by its cover and to respect some boundaries. It was easier when Cross joined because of that." Good to because Cross had been, and still was, a bundle of nerves and anxiety. self doubt if honestly the biggest thing holding him back. If only Cross could see that himself, then Horror doubts there is much in this multiverse that could stop Cross from doing what he wants.

Crop chuckles "All of you had to learn that? YOu seem perfectly fine with interactions."

horror raises a brow at him "First week i stayed in this universe."

Crop's winces and rubs his arm "Yeha okay fair."

horror shakes his skull "I made my own mistakes and am thankful that the others forgave me for. It was a learnign curve for all of us." to be coworkers. to rely on each other. to be friends. To be a team and unit. and now... a family...

Crop nods "well... I can say that you guys are doing great!" he grins "people in town were nervous but they all really like you!"

Horror chcukles "good to hear. and thank you for everything..."

Crop shrugs "don't worry about it." he checks the clock and grins "I will need to go back. need to milk the cows and Betty loves her schedule. If i am late she may come looking for me."

Horror sighs "please don't bring a cow to these grounds..." Hell knows that they all had been assholes enough to joke and prank Cross with those. Before they realised how bad the phobia was. Again, they can all be assholes.

Crop gives him an easy thumbs up "don't worry. I will make sure it doesn't happen." he glances around and whispers "there was... one thing i was wodnering... you guys are real close. Is it... you know?" and he grins widely.

Horror chuckles and shrugs "not specifically." he shoots a glance towards where he knows Dust is sleeping in the nest. Then he glances out of the window to see if he can spot either Killer or Cross "There is no hurry..."

Crop grins and nods "cool cool. just people asking me stuff."

Horror nudges him "don't gossip. It is a bad habit."

Crop sighs "come on. you guys wouldn't give me the details on yourr made backstory. can tell me this at least."

Horror shoots him an amused look "no." and he starts to lead Crop's out.

Crop huffs but joins his side. They walk towards the path that will lead Crop home before stopping and both saying their goodbyes.

Crop shoots hima look "You have a lot of patiences with this."

horror shrugs "there is no hurry" and if he learend one thing with his family is that sometimes things just took time. Especially things concerning emotions and feeling vulnerable. Which love is a part of.

Crop nods before smiling "I am sure you four will figure it out eventually."

horror shoots a tiny smile back "thanks. Have a safe trip."

Crop grins as he waves "you guys have a great day and thanks for breakfast!" he waves into the distance at the other skeletons before starting to make his track back home.

Just a matter of time and giving them time. Horror knows by now that it is better to let them come to their own conclusions and thoughts then trying to force them to see stuff they aren't ready to see.

Luckily they have their own home now and can actually take the time they need.

*-----------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[kingsmoot]

good ending where oberyn survives trial by combat and he and tyrion hook up before they flee the city back to sunspear

[royaltea000]

do you think pruk have tea and gossip while little alfred and ludwig are in the next room stink eyeing eachother. do you think they exchange evil mom tips

Bold of you to assume that pruk are not ALSO stinkeyeing each other! While they’re in the tearoom arguing about territories, treaties, and politics (their version of foreplay) there is a smaller scale battle going on in the playroom where Al and Lud have managed to rip the sword decorations off the walls and are now playing a pvp game of knights vs pirates, subsequently giving their caretakers heart attacks

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 198

Now Bruce was not expecting to reincarnate upon his death. At least he thinks he died, he’s pretty sure he did. There wasn’t any other reason for him to be a well, literal baby. Around two he thinks, which fits well with the fact that it’s around that time that babies start forming memory recall, if he, well, remembered correctly. 

But while he knew about reincarnation thanks to Shayera and Carter, he’d never exactly given it much thought towards himself. Because seriously, what were the chances of such a thing as him being given another chance? 

So he was quite surprised at his situation, experimentally opening and closing pudgy hands that looked well, just a tiny bit off. He’d never been that pale before, he thinks, even back when he never went outside like, ever. 

He turned his gaze towards the mobile above him with a sort of idle curiosity- a mixture of bats (ha) and other trinkets he wasn’t familiar with. It also caused him to get his first good look at his parent, asleep on a rocking chair right next to the crib. 

Huh. They had the same pale skin he did, albeit in the light it looked like it was slightly tinted blue, and while their hair was white they didn’t exactly look old. They looked surprisingly well rested for raising a toddler too, unless they had a nanny or something similar… He rolled over, managing to very shakily push himself to his feet with the help of the crib. 

Why was standing so hard as a toddler? And why did he have his memories of everything except how he had died anyway? 

His head whipped up from where they were staring at his feet when he heard a snort, finding his parent awake and standing. Somehow silently enough that he hadn’t noticed- or he was that easily distracted by the unfamiliar giddiness bursting in his chest. 

“Morning little bat,” his parent easily picked him up and held him while he inwardly sighed at the nickname. Of course his bat motif would follow him into this life. A low rumbling almost caused him to jump, his body relaxing before he could fully register the sound. The… purring? 

Oh. 

He wasn’t human this time around. 

[mooonboy]

krshna, probably: 108 names but i just wanna be called yours<3

[raifuujin]

Anyone else feel like Kaito is almost becoming a secondary character in his own manga due to the heists slowly becoming DC clones of figuring out the tricks going on instead of just letting the heist happen and staying within Kaito's perspective.

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.