#when gay men are just a funny little accessory for you.. you tend to not think twice about how you can get them caught up

[rozegolden]

Im on twitter and IG. I’ve seen hella videos. Maybe you and the people you speak for are just on another side of the net from what I and others are seeing. Thats the bulk of the outrage we see. We do not see family friendly drag. It’s disturbing and those shows need to ban kids. I’m for them making a law banning explicit activity from kids. I feel like most people would be okay with that. There was a video that went viral of a wedding where wives were on their knees pretending to give their husbands hand jobs as some sort of game. Kids were there. Everyone drug those people to hell for that in the comments. The average person is just against kids witnessing adult activities in general.

The law makers are obviously trash for making this a law that pretty much targets the drag Queens. But this wouldn’t have happened had those mothers not been weird as hell bringing their kids to those non family friendly shows. Those parents put those drag queens in a very compromising position. Tbh, i see more outrage at those parents than i do the drag queens. Obviously they have some fault for even doing all that in front of kids (deserved outrage cus wtf..) but it is bizarre that these parents are insisting on doing this. Some drag queens are even speaking out against those parents too. The laws need to be more focused on those parents imo. They are a bigger problem to me and many others. I don’t agree with the law now that you’ve explained it. I do however feel like those parents need to be addressed and bars and events should ban entrance to their functions if parents show up with kids. Thats my stance because I’m sick of these people at this point.

Republicans are garbage.

[johnseedfanclub]

microscope, mixtape, ufo, and parachute for Angel please!!

okay....This one’s quiiiiite lengthy sorry about that 😅😅😅

Thanks for the ask! ♥️

Hope y’all like this one~

microscope: zoom in – describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

Angel loves Thai iced tea and sweet drinks! He only drinks coffee for the caffeine but doesn’t actually like coffee (he prefers his with a lot of sugar/flavoring to cover up the bitter coffee taste)

Angel wishes he could have a pet but is scared he might hurt them with his bad mood swings

He secretly loves and wants plushies. He also has an attachment to them but never admits it because he’s “too old” for them.

His type is brunette, charming, suave, rich/wealthy men (not literally but is a nice add on yk~) , with light colored eyes (coincidentally it sounds like John but he can’t stand him)

Actually acts out/badly for a bit of attention he usually does it for shits and giggles but does it to receive a reaction out of someone whether it be from the person he’s talking to or the audience watching

He actually wishes people gave him more affection and reassurance. He never truly knows how much his friends appreciate him an a lot of times he feels like they don’t much. He doesn’t tell them the truth though because he doesn’t want to come off as jealous, needy or as an “attention seeker”

Likes dressing feminine more than masculine. He absolutely HATES men’s clothing Hawaiian shirts, turtlenecks, tuxedos/formal wear are the only exceptions (he would pretend to like the boxes of men’s clothing he would receive from friends as gifts. Would never even wear them. Maybe once if he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings)

Canonically he is “blonde” but he’s actually a brunette (light brown hair) but likes to dye his hair blonde instead

ufo: identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how to they identify in regards to gender/sexuality?

Special Qualities: his personality. Angel has a very unique personality compared to everyone he knows. He has this funny, mean/sarcastic, chill vibe to him. He always teases and plays around with his friends, not to mention he’s quite blunt and honest with anyone (even more harsh to people who annoy him). And though he seems like a small angry chihuahua at times, he’s a real sweetheart to everyone. He is never afraid to try anything new, no matter now fucking crazy or dangerous it may be he’s totally down to do it. That’s why both Eden’s Gate and the Resistance fear

Good Traits: He’s comedic (even at the worst times or when you need it), is the best at throwing house parties (even at 30 years old), he can help you with any favor it doesn’t even matter what it is (almost impossible to ask him of something he can’t do), he’ll take care of you when you’re sick/hungover/injured/depressed/having a panic attack, he’s a great cook and willing to share whatever he makes with anyone (if there’s enough), and he’s always generous (a big gift giver)

Bad Traits: He can a bit overly aggressive/rude (sometimes accidentally), he’s bad at remembering/keeping tract of things (he knows everyone’s favorite animal but totally forgets their birthdays and/or names), tends to crack under too much (bad) pressure and become extremely aggressive or violent, holds in his true feelings and emotions, has really bad mood swings, can be easy to piss off, can be too loud (mouthed) at times

Sexuality: Gay (attracted to men)

Gender identity: depends on the way he dresses/his mood normally he prefers he/him/they/them but if he dresses more feminine (wears makeup, tight dresses, feminine accessories) you could call him by she/him, or even they/them. (No pronoun preferences when he cross dresses)

#squad: who’s friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

Angel has few friends outside Hope County. The main people he’s friends with are Mary May, Jerome, Staci Pratt, Sharky Boshaw, Hurk Drubman Jr, Adelaide, Faith Seed, the Angel Twins (Jeremiah and Isaiah), the Whitetails, and a few of the peggies of Eden’s Gate

The only squads that Angel are apart of are

Sharky + Hurk = The Bomb Squad

Peggies = Eden’s “Gays”

Angel, Sharky, and Hurk are like the best and worst pairing. They’re all sweet, funny, and humble but can be obnoxious and destructive as FUCK. Anytime they go somewhere to find/finish some mission. It always ends in them leaving a trail of either, fire, gunpowder, or an explosion of some sort (either vehicle, silo, bliss tank, or outpost/building). Don’t even ask or mention what they do for leisure time. More crazy stunts and tricks that could put any normal person with a normal brain in the ER in critical condition. And at the bar? Jesus Christ. They order enough alcohol to kill 5 men but somehow make it through the night. And if they aren’t drinking, they’re sure as hell smoking weed or whatever the fuck Sharky has been brewing in his trailer (it’s most likely a 50/50 chance that you’ll pass out or die from it). They’re definitely one crazy ass group, nothing you would ever even expect, not even out of a crazy...Hollywood...Michael Bay movie. A feminine Latino city gay, an old cheery bomb-rocket enthusiast, and a insane pyromaniac that has a warrant. There definitely isn’t a dull moment with these three. But...you’re good as gone if you’re stuck with them for more than 11 minutes.

Angel and the Eden’s “Gays” are a pretty decent sized group of 6 men (plus the Twins some days) that are the few queer men of Eden’s Gate. Originally they seemed quite closeted because of the cult’s religion and some of its rules. But with Angel around they soon became another loud, obnoxious group of men. Before the whole group was “founded” the original 6 peggies (including John Seed himself) didn’t like Angel at all because of how loud and “out” he seemed (not to mention the carelessness). But as Angel visited the bunkers more often (after he was kidnapped by John) they slowly grew fond of him. Angel would always do kind gestures to learn more about Eden’s followers by helping them with chores, tasks, bringing them food and treats from outside the compound (though he wasn’t supposed to), and even help them find comfort in their own troubles. Though Angel liked a lot of the members he really favored 6 different followers in particular Connor, Michael, Anthony, Jace, and Jefferey (those who were the first followers he interacted with). Now they’re known as Eden’s Gays troublemakers. They sneak out to the Spread Eagle to drink, host secret parties in Hope County, and smoke as well. There isn’t a moment where they aren’t breaking the cult’s rules. They’re the only group of peggies some of the resistance members trust mostly because Angel made a rule of not attacking or harming them and actually enjoy being around. They’re definitely always getting into trouble with both sides too, much like Angel, starting small fights during church/sermons, fooling around on the job, or going around Hope County not to attack the locals but pester the living shit out of them. They almost stop being violent mean peggies and instead just become this goofy comedic group of young men. (Fun Fact: the “Eden’s Gays” were actually a thing before the cult became hostile *during its first few years in Hope County* and John was mostly the “leader” of the crazy group)

mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.

Ohohohooooo~

(The possibilities are endless for this one so I’m sticking to a Baddie playlist he would listen to)

May I ~ Flo Mili

Literal Legend ~ Ayesha Erotica

Yikes ~ Nicki Minaj

I like it ~ Cardi B

Sway With Me ~ Saweetie & GALAXARA

parachute: who does your OC(s) trust the most? who makes them feel safe? who would they do absolutely anything for?

Missy (my U.S. Marshal oc), is one of the few people he trusts the most. During the time from when he was arrested to when he was released out of jail (and transferring to Hope County Jail), she was always like a mother figure to him. And though she was supposed to investigate Angel’s murder and drug charges, she treated him kindly and respect, instead of a criminal. Without Missy, Angel might as well been as good as dead since she was the one that helped him move to a psychiatric ward instead of federal prison after discovering who he really was. Even after he was released, Missy still treated him as if he was her own son. She allowed him to stay at her penthouse apartment when Angel told her his father had disown him and he had no where to go. She always cared about him, made sure he ate, drank water, took care of himself, and even helped him get a better mindset. Though Angel still teases Missy by calling her “Mama Bear (Missy)” or “Mother Goose (or hen)” he’s forever grateful she was always there for him.

[swanmask]

It's been exactly one year since I realized I was a lesbian.

I've been thinking about the kind of post that I wanted to make for this occasion for a week or so now, but I haven't really gotten much of anywhere. I don't really post much of my thoughts anymore, and putting all of this into one concise little string of paragraphs isn't exactly very easy. But i’m going to try. This is going to be very long, no getting around it.

Yanno, initially, when I started questioning my 'attraction' to men and whether or not i'm a lesbian, I was terrified about if my friends would stop liking me. I don't know why I was, that sort of shit doesn't usually make very much sense, but I was. And I apparently had a right to, because I DID end up losing friends when I came forward about it. Since I wasn't available to men anymore, I was, evidently, the antichrist. Just talking about it got me weird reactions, and I could tell the concept of it made them uncomfortable. That hurt. It still hurts. 

But my closest friends stuck close to me, and rode out the sort of initial rocky waters, and I can't thank them enough. Their constant support and encouragement when internalized lesbophobia hit me, or when I was dealing with people who didn’t want to understand me, meant and still means the world to me. They helped me become more comfortable in who I am, and not just in the sense of my sexuality, but my gender and my race as well. I think that needs to be recognized, and that more people need to take their example and run with it. Support your lesbian friends, give them what they need to grow. It’s invaluable.

I remember when I announced that i’d discovered I was a lesbian at my trans group, as well as at PFLAG. It felt so... wonderful saying it out loud to people. Saying it, and meaning it, and knowing it. It fit like a puzzle piece into a place that ‘pansexual’ could never fill. There was nothing more healing then saying, “I’m a lesbian”, I just cannot describe it. It fills me with an overwhelming joy, especially when it’s met with the kind of warm response I got from those groups.

Despite that though, i’m still struggling with internalized lesbophobia a year later. I’ve been told that it’s going to take a long time to break out of that thinking, but it’s still... It’s more debilitating than anything. When you go your whole life being abused and used by men, and pretending you have a romantic attraction to men, it tends to put bad shit in your head. Traumatic shit that you can’t easily shake. I still struggle with the never ending thought of ‘Is the kind of love I want, and need, unrealistic?’. Ooh, and the ‘Am I predatory for looking at another woman?’ And can’t forget the ‘What if my compulsive heterosexuality is actual attraction to men and i’m just lying to myself?’ I don’t know how long it’ll take me to shake those. I hope it’s soon.

I think the worst part about it though is that, living in a small town, things circulate easy. I know people know, because people talk. I think about how if most of the kids from my high school were still living here and not off at college, they’d have a field day with this. I don’t particularly care much, even when i’m called a dyke in the chips aisle of a back woods farmer town Family Dollar, but there’s a part of me that’s terrified of the time it’s going to happen and my mamma isn’t there. When I don’t have someone else to help defend me. I really don’t want to end up murdered in a corn field somewhere. 

Speaking of my mother, I think she also deserves some credit for being one of the most confusing people to exist on this planet. Don’t get me wrong, she supports me whole heartedly, but I know she’ll never understand any part of my sexuality. She still asks me if I think a guy on the TV is cute, and get’s confused when I tell her, “I don’t know, i’m a lesbian”. She says, “Well, anyone can tell if someone is attractive!” and I can’t count the times I've had to roll my eyes and try and move on. She’ll tell me that she doesn’t like how the word lesbian sounds, and she doesn’t know why I love it so much when it’s so ugly. She gets mad at me when I complain about men complimenting me or my makeup or my accessories. My mother loves me, and I know she’s totally fine with me being gay, but she could at least act like she wants to understand the nuances of it.

I really do think it’s funny that I ever thought I had any genuine love for men. I look back on all of the shit I did and said as a child, and all the shit that was said and assumed of me. I wonder what I did to make my mom ask me on the drive to school, “Laura, you don’t like girls do you?” when I was 11 years old. I used to take my dad’s pinup books off the shelf and flip through them and stare at all the pretty ladies, and she’d yell at me when she’d catch me. When I identified as pansexual, I described it as being 85% attracted to women, and then the other 15% was anything else. Hell, my legal initials spell out ‘LES’. It was written in the stars the day I was born, and I look back on all of that stuff now and I laugh. I laugh at how flimsy of an attempt at ‘Look! I can be straight if I squint!’ it was. It feels better knowing the truth.

I think the best part of all of this lesbian business though is being enlightened to the butch / femme dynamic. My acceptance of my role as a femme, and how that works in tandem with a butch’s. The history behind the words. How the thought of a butch looking at me and thinking that i’m pretty makes my heart fill with butterflies. I love everything about these two identities, and I love playing into it. Performing it. It’s fun, and it feels good. It feels natural. 

If there’s anyone reading this that is questioning themselves, or questioning if they’re a lesbian, I want you to know that this year has been full of ups and downs. But, it’s worth it. I wouldn’t trade this for anything. This is what the Creator, the Great Spirit, made me to be. This is who I am, what I am, what I will always be. It is rough, but being a lesbian is worth it. Knowing this feeling, it’s worth it. This community, it’s worth it.

Yanno... I’ve had a lot of relationships that have hurt me in my time on this earth. Things that were done, and said, and abuse that was inflicted that shouldn’t have. I worry that i’m too broken to love, that men ruined me. I still worry that. But piece by piece, bit by bit, the threads of everything that has happened this past year are stitching me back together and i’m feeling whole again. I think once I have all that stitching done, i’ll get ‘I LOVE BEING A LESBIAN’ embroidered on my chest in big pink font.