#when I was in france apparently there was a 'watch party' just for my stories

[sparkles-oflight]

it's canon, they are watching my stories together

[missizzy]

A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate Log, 129 Hours In: Act III is hard, y'all

Masterpost

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite of a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

In more ways that one, it was easier out in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, especially for a barbarian like Sara Tully. Most of the problems she saw out there, she was allowed to hit until they keeled over. But now we are in the city of Baldur's Gate, where even the fights aren't necessarily that simple. I spent much of the week struggling with various problems, not doing too well with my various attempts to solve them, and then giving up and looking up the solution-and even then getting confused about how to carry it about on occasion.

At the end of last week, we were on our way to the Guildhouse when I got side-tracked to the Baldur's Mouth Gazette possibly printing a story about the party. We went in, talked to the editor, learned the story was defamatory, and attacked the Steel Watch guards instead of letting them escort us out. I ended up reloading out of that pretty quickly. It was when Wyll's attempt to talk to the editor got the same result that I realized I really didn't want to deal with this quest. One shouldn't have to, when the country one lives in is less than a month out from possibly getting condemned to fascism, with our media enabling it. After reloading again, then confirming the story doesn't get printed until the editor is talked to, I decided to just not talk to him, at least for a while.

(It's possible I might send Sara in there if she ever gets enraged enough to intimidate him into not publishing it. That's an option for barbarians, and one she's not willing to take yet, but if she gets pushed far enough...)

In fact, I exited without having saved at all that night, after I went a little crazy trying to find the Guildhouse, even after looking up the coordinates. When I resumed, I decided to go to Sorcerous Sundries first instead. That proved much easier to locate. I had seen the later scene that can take place there when you bring the Dame Aylin to kick its owner's arse, so I wasn't surprised to learn he was looking for her, or to meet Rolan there. Sara was very happy to see him again, but did not tell him she knew where the Nightsong was; I also know he'll change sides during that fight, but she certainly doesn't.

I had not seen anything related to actually getting the Annals of Karsus. It took Spaw's necklace and Jaheira's guidance to get Tolna to even admit the book was in the vault with the key in her office. Getting into her office proved difficult. At one point I tried to put darkness around the upstairs guards, which turned the whole store hostile to us. Trying to pickpocket a key from her after I reloaded ended in failure as well.

We also tried all four portals on the upstairs level, and so met Lorroakan. When Sara heard he was planning to trap Aylin again, she tried to lie and claim Thorm still had her, but the deception DC was way too high for that. She ended up telling him she'd bring her to kill him. Then I looked up how to get in the office, and read a claim that a fog cloud would work without turning the store hostile. But after reading further details about getting into the vault, I decided it would really be easier just to come back with Aylin later and get the book after the battle.

I also noticed that Franc Peartree was apparently nearby, and I decided to go warn him next. While trying to figure out how to get into the building the map said he was in, I instead found the Guildhouse entrance. While looking up the coordinates, I had read a claim Jaheira could get us in easily-which was not the case, but she succeeded in talking the guards into it anyway. Sara largely let Jaheira do the talking to Nine-Fingers Keene, though she didn't automatically assume the crime boss was right when she claimed Minsc was now working for the Absolute.

With the journal claiming the knowledge of where the Guild was planing to ambush Minsc was somewhere in the hall, I did much wandering around and talking to people, and at one point had Gale cast fly on Jaheira so she could fly into an upper study alcove where I thought it might be-I ended up having her take the Wall of Ice scroll just to get something out of that. Finally asking the right question of one guy got us sent to another guy, and Sara had to then spend inspiration to get him to say the ambush was going to be at the Counting House.

We did eventually break down the barricade in front of Franc's door, though I'm still wondering why that didn't provoke any hostile responses from the Steel Watch guards, especially with all the other doors nearby being red. When we found him dead, I found myself wondering if we were waiting too long, and all the assassination victims might get killed. We found his hidden keys, but not what they unlocked. But I did also find the downed robot outside, and location of the Steel Watch foundry from it.

I still really wanted to get Minsc next, so we headed to the Counting House. First I tried to sneak into it through the docks, and nearly got to the back door-and was lucky to pass the check with the robot who stopped us to get sent back to the entrance without penalty. Then I went inside, looked around, tried to sneak upstairs-and ended up reloading when we incurred the guards' wrath again. Then I tried to find a way into the sewers from the neighboring buildings, convinced that was the way in. When I gave a guard in possible need a healing potion and he then still stopped us from going into a bottom floor, I got fed up and again exited without saving (though the game had autosaved when the robot guard sent us to the entrance), went and looked, and learned we could just go in and pay for a pass.

Although in the end, we didn't even have to pay for it. Jaheira said a few things, Sara made another intimidation check, and we got it for free. But even that wasn't the final hurdle in this long quest for the final companion. Finding a vault door that was basically impossible to lockpick without some really good luck, I went searching the place up and down for a key, had Wyll talk to the downstairs clerk to see if it was possible to get out of of them (it clearly wasn't), and then finally looked it up and read about breaking into the head banker's office to get the vault code.

Upstairs, I turned Jaheira into an invisible panther, and, remembering what I'd read about fog cloud, tried having Wyll don the right necklace and cast that. It appeared to work-except the lock was too difficult for her to pick, and I sighed, reloaded, and went back to camp to get Astarion, and then went through the whole rigmarole again. Except this time someone failed a stealth check, and the building promptly turned hostile to us. Again I reloaded, and just looked the damn code up. Even then, I had to read a reminder to ungroup the characters to get it to work.

For the first couple of minutes of the cut scene in the vault, as Minsc the Matt Mercer-voiced himbo apparently made a badass entrance out of the mimic, it felt worth all of the blood, sweat and tears it had taken to get there. Except then it turned out he was working for the Absolute, may or may not be the real Minsc (definitely not sure right now!), and was gone, leaving us to have to fight a bunch of people who kept turning themselves invisible after striking.

After my first attempt at that battle went south quickly, I reloaded back to the autosave and did some preparation. We short rested, and Gale and Jaheira both recovered all their spell slots. Sara and Jaheira both took potions, and Gale cast See Invisibility, before quicksaving. But it seemed he still could only see some of the invisible cultists, and though we lasted longer this time, when he and Jaheira both went down and it was looking lost, I once again exited without saving, and went to look up advice even on the battle, though ultimately I wouldn't end taking it.

This morning, after taking time to think of some ideas, I made my third attempt at it, this time finding the elixir of bloodlust Sara's been carrying for most of the game, and giving it to Gale, since she and Jaheira both had taken potions already. Which might well have been the difference maker, since it let him cast a second spell whenever the first one killed someone, and at this point I was letting all three of him, Jaheira, and Wyll use the higher spell slots up very freely. I'd also realized I needed to get him close enough to the cultists to make them visible, which obviously also helped. Winning this third attempt wasn't as easy as some of my second attempts have been, but it was still easier than I would've expected after my last attempt at it. Only Jaheira even got dangerously low in hit points this time.

I'd made no attempt to save the Head Banker or any of his people; he was just the sort of person Sara hates the most. After a short rest, I went all around the vaults trying to find the mysterious high-security vault nine he had the key to, even while not breaking into any of the others, and eventually found it, stole the armor, and gave it to Jaheira. During my second attempt at the battle, I'd already looted the note directing us to the abandoned cistern next, though I think after the third I looted every single other body before finally finding the cultist who'd had it. I briefly wondered if there would be any consequence to walking out into the Counting House covered in blood and Jaheira in the armor, but of course there wasn't.

Still worried about potential time limits, and wanting to properly accomplish something this week, I decided to warn Figaro, the barber of Baldur's Gate, of Dolor coming after him, before long resting. A short time later I got the party to his shop with Rossini playing in my head-and promptly walked into a scene featuring Dolor trying to do his best Sweeney Todd impression. This fight, thankfully, proved much easier than the last one, and we even killed Dolor at the end of it. I left off this morning after talking to Devella, feeling much better about myself and my ability to play this game than I had all week.

Even if I also accidentally had Sara lie to Devella and say she had a hand to present to the Bhaalist cultists. But I suppose we could always just go back and grab Franc's.

[timetorace]

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝

Hi! This one is inspired in the rumours that were floating around Carlos and a brazilian girl during the French GP (after the comments made by the brazilian commentator). Then I added some other things. PLEASE, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. Thank u. @diorleclerc​ @lickmeleclerc​ @libraryofloveletters​  (Thank u for editing this and all of you for pulling up with me)

enana= midget // amor=love // corazón=my heart

ship: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader.

summary:  after some rumors opened old wounds again, you and Carlos reach a turning point, is there a future for you worth saving?

warnings: mentions of cheating. betraying. alcohol mentions. NO PROOF READ.

word count: 9.4K. 

FRIDAY - LE CASTELLET, FRANCE

You would love to say that you had seen it coming, that you had seen it coming, and that you had prepared for it. The truth was that you would not have seen it coming even if it had hit you on the head. Simply reality gave you a beating that left you knocked out.

Just after Austria, Paul Richard was the penultimate race before the summer break and that week Europe was experiencing a heat wave. The temperature was unbearable and not even the air conditioning could make it any better. You were in the garage watching FP2 when you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket. What-? You had about twenty lost messages in the WhatsApp group you had with your friends, who were furiously discussing something over audio messages. You couldn’t listen to them at the time and that’s what you texted before one of them texted back “That cheating ass did it again, he can’t keep his dick in his fucking pants” You raised your eyebrows, who were they talking about? You replied quickly with a short “I’ll listen later” text, but you couldn’t even get back into hospitality before another one of your friends called you hysterical. Apparently, a Brazilian commentator told the story of how Carlos met a girl at a party after the Brazilian GP last year and then spent a few days at her house in the countryside, along with Lando and Luisa. Social media had already exploded with people talking about how all this was already a rumour last year or speculating about you two. 

You were used to rumours, that was nothing new. People did not tire of speculating, that if you were not going to a race, that if there were no photos of you on vacation, that if you did not have public social networks. You understood the curiosity, but that was not a door you wanted to open. What you weren’t used to was someone echoing rumours on a broadcast and bringing them into the public eye. Social media were a microclimate, and the issue stayed there, but journalists rarely echoed rumours.

The heat wave was unbearable, so you were walking back to the hospitality after FP2 to get a bottle of water when Carlos glimpsed you and said something to Ellie, his PR manager, before jogging towards you.

“Ellie told me about the rumours,” he murmured, leaning toward you slightly to stand next to you. “Have you seen them?”

“Yes, I have,” you replied with a quick nod “Leticia called me to talk about it” She also had a lot to say about how Carlos was a fucking idiot but you would not say that to him. 

“And?”

You gave him a look of confusion. “I wasn’t worried about it until you brought it back and asked,” You didn’t understand why he would give importance to something like that if it was just rumours “Why? Should I be worried about something?”

“I just wanted to make sure you are ok” Weird. He knew you didn’t use to bother with rumours, mainly because they were always speculation and you had to admit that most of the fans were very nice.

“I’m” You nodded briefly “I trust you” You added. You stared at each other in silence for a moment. You opened your mouth as if to say something else, but you weren’t sure what to say or where all that came from or why Carlos had brought it up. If it was just rumours, there was no need to worry about that, was it?

You spoke too soon. Turns out there was something to worry about. Social media, mainly Twitter, quickly identified who she was and found a TikTok video of Carlos swimming in this girl’s pool and they also found some photos of him posing with the girl and some of her friends, at least the photos were not anything committed, it was like any photo he took with a fan. Apparently, this girl was friends with Rubens Barrichello’s son and the rumour was that Carlos, Lando, and Luisa, among other people, had ended up at her house in the countryside for a crazy party weekend. There would be nothing to worry about if it wasn’t because he had told you he was going to stay for a few days at the hotel in Sao Paulo, playing golf with Lando.

You caressed your temples.

That couldn’t be happening to you again. You didn’t want it to happen again. It was like coming back six years in time. You were feeling a déjà vu. 

A few months before you got pregnant with Sofia, you and Carlos were having a rough patch. They fought all the time and hardly saw each other. Mainly the fights were over small things that later ended up becoming huge. He was in his last stint at Toro Rosso before moving on to Renault and when he wasn’t traveling; he had to spend hours and hours in the simulator as a development driver. You were in your last year of college living the good life, in Ibiza, traveling with friends. You guys were trying to make it work no matter what and especially since you both hoped it was just a losing streak.

One day Carlos appeared at your door out of nowhere. He wasn’t supposed to visit Spain soon. You hadn’t seen each other for a month and you hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks now because you had a big fight after he didn’t come to your birthday to go to the Red Bull factory in Milton Keynes. In an attempt, you tried to be understanding with him and his work, but at that moment you just wanted your boyfriend around. It was almost felt like you were in a relationship with a ghost. You had been surprised, but you had decided that you were at least going to have dinner before talking about the fight you had recently. You hadn’t finished clearing the dishes when Carlos blurted out,

“I slept with someone else,” He said back then. At least he had the decency to look regretful. 

At first, you thought you had misheard and were ready to crack a joke when you saw he wasn’t laughing. Carlos was dead serious. There was not a joking note on her face. You were furious. Your last fight had been left aside, and you had lost your voice from yelling at him so much. You had yelled, cried, insulted, kicked, and thrown things and he had simply stood there watching you, without moving. He hadn’t made excuses; he hadn’t tried to justify himself; he hadn’t blamed you. Simply, Carlos had stayed seated letting you unload. When you finished, you just stared at him for a moment before locking yourself in your room.

That night had been terrible. You hadn’t slept trying to figure out what you were going to do next. The most obvious option was to leave him and the other was to forgive him and move on. You didn’t want to forgive him, mainly because you were proud as hell and because you felt like it was what you were supposed to do. But you loved him so much. You didn’t want that to be the end of you. You thought everyone was human and made mistakes. The problem was that to forgive him you had to move on because you couldn’t forgive him, only to be blaming or resenting him all the time. If you forgave him, you had to leave all that behind and really move forward.

Eventually, you did. You forgave him. Then, out of nowhere, Sofia came into your lives. You guys moved forward. Not everyone could do that, but you could leave that bad memory behind and mistrust never arose again because in all those years Carlos had never given you a reason to doubt him. Until now. You didn’t really understand what was going on. You didn’t want to do it either, because that would probably lead to a crisis.

Both of you had grown up, and you wanted to believe that the way you argued had grown too. They no longer threw accusations out of nowhere and blew everything up. They were more rational and calmer, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe because all you could think about was how you could feel the wild beat of your heart even in your ears when Carlos approached you. You looked at Sofía, your daughter. She was coloring her book, oblivious to the panic you were feeling. You felt trapped. You wanted to get out of there and run away as far as possible, but you couldn’t.  

“Ready to go?” Carlos asked, and you saw how Sofia looked up to smile at him. You couldn’t do that to her, you didn’t want to. You needed to solve it before it affected her. 

“Did you finish the debrief?” You asked him with your eyes fixed on what was left of your apple. You were no longer hungry, you had lost your appetite.

“Yeah, we can go for today” He moved in front of you.

“Let’s go then,” you replied with a lopsided smile that didn’t reach your eyes before getting up from the table. Hospitality was almost empty. You collected Sofia’s things to put them in your bag.

Carlos stretched out his hand, brushing against yours to help you pick up the pencils and the book. You flinched at the contact. You were running on autopilot. Your head was spinning too much to think about, doing anything other than moving your feet and getting out of there as fast as possible.

If he noticed your reaction to his contact, he gave no sign.

“I’m sleepy,” Sofia moaned, rubbing her eye with her hand.

“She didn’t take a nap” You explained to him stoic as a statue.

Carlos nodded before taking her in his arms. You slipped next to them and you left the hospitality to walk in silence towards the paddock exit.

It was curious how the brain worked when you were in a crisis. Your brain didn’t seem to work the way you would like it to. The rational side would tell you to take it easy and think of all the logical reasons he hadn’t cheated on you. Instead of doing it, you kept thinking of all the possibilities, including that it was more than possible that he had cheated on you before and you would have never found out. All those rumours about him cheating on you might be true, after all. Not as ridiculous as they seemed to you just a few hours ago.

The ride back to the hotel was silent. The driver had the music down and Sofia had fallen asleep on Carlos’s shoulder as soon as you got in the car. He reached out the hand that wasn’t holding hers to offer it to you and you placed your hand on top of his before turning your gaze out the window.

You rationally knew that you were probably overreacting. A video meant nothing more than he had probably had a good weekend, but then, why had he told you he was staying at the hotel in Sao Paulo and had traveled to the countryside? It didn’t even bother you he’d had a weekend party in the slightest. The video in the pool seemed to be taken from an angle that Carlos didn’t realize, and it wasn’t exactly suggestive. The photos didn’t look like it either. Maybe she found him and asked for a photo like any fan. Some photos seemed innocent, but were they really? You couldn’t help but wonder if something else hadn’t happened.

You felt like an idiot overthinking the whole thing, but deep down, you felt that something was not right. It was like the last time again, only this time there was doubt. The last time he had admitted it to you directly, but now the doubt was floating in the air. You were not sure what was happening.

He gestured an “are you ok?” with his lips so as not to wake Sofia up, to which you responded with a nod. You knew you had to talk about that ASAP before it became a bomb, but it was race weekend and the last thing you needed was Carlos overthinking while he was driving at 300kmph.

You couldn’t avoid the conversation too much because as soon as they arrived at the hotel, Carlos left Sofia asleep on the sofa and left the door ajar before following you to the room.

“What’s going on with you?” He asked as you sat on the bed. You couldn’t wait to get in the shower. The heat in Le Castellet was unbearable, and you were all sticky.

“I have a headache,” you murmured in response, taking off your shoes.

“C’mon, give me some credit.” After all that time, he could tell when something was happening to you. You hated that right now.

You rolled your eyes “The fans found a video”

“About?”

“You’re at this girl’s house, swimming in her pool” He knew who you were talking about when you referred to ‘this girl’ “I hate asking but, is all this they are saying true?” You asked, turning to see him.

“I don’t know what they are saying, but I thought you weren’t worried about it.” He frowned.

“Things change, it’s not just some idiot talking about it on TV anymore” You jumped out of bed “What happened?”

“I told you, nothing”

You let out a sigh before scratching your forehead “I hate doing this but I’ve to ask, did you cheat on me?” You asked him, staring at him. It could feel like your heart stopped for a second and your breath hitched as you waited for his answer. You didn’t want to throw accusations into the air, but you needed to ask him directly. Seeing his face and assessing his expression, you wanted to believe that you could do it after all this time.

“No” Carlos shook his head, responded almost instantly, and frowned “Don’t you trust me?”

Now you felt bad for questioning him “I do” You nodded slowly “If you say nothing happened, then nothing happened, but I had to ask” The climate was now tense between you.

“Nothing happened,” Carlos shook his head “Lando and Luisa were there, they can confirm it”

Technically, they couldn’t unless they had slept next to him. You rolled your eyes “How did you end up there?”

“She knows Luisa, this girl’s father has his own golf course in the country house, which was where we were”

“Golf? Did you do all this to play golf with Lando?” The explanation sounded logical, but you still didn’t understand why he had done all that. Especially since he had told you he and Lando were going to stay in Sao Paulo to try out the golf courses.

“When you say it like that, it sounds stupid” He rolled his eyes “They-“

You interrupted him “I don’t care about Lando and Luisa, I’m not married to them, I’m married to you” You knew you were probably being too harsh and overreacting about a rumour but you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had hidden from you he had been somewhere else “Why did you lie?”

“What are you talking about?” Really, he had forgotten? He really needed to get his head in order.

“You told me you were going to stay at the hotel in Sao Paulo with Lando, not at someone else’s house.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“It came up at the last minute. They offered it to us at the party, so we went. I didn’t think there was anything weird about it” You stared at him and analyzed his expression. He wasn’t lying. At least that’s what it seemed to you. The story made sense, at least. You understood he wouldn’t have found necessary to tell you because there was nothing wrong with going golfing with his friends.

“Okay” You nodded softly. You wanted to believe him, you needed to believe him, so you did.

“Are we good?”

“We’re good,” you agreed before Carlos walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m sorry,” He murmured against your hair.

“It’s ok” you assured him, closing your eyes to inhale his scent.

Was it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUNDAY - LE CASTELLET, FRANCE

It was race day and fortunately; the temperature had dropped a bit compared to the previous days. The subject had been buried between you. You believed him. You still believed that he had been an idiot for not having told you especially if there was nothing to hide. You thought the storm had passed. Turns out it wasn’t. The girl had posted a few stories on Instagram suggesting how football players, actors, and F1 drivers had tried to go on a date with her. Of course, she was following Carlos, by itself that wouldn’t mean anything if it weren’t because she had later answered some questions on Instagram suggesting that something had happened between her and an F1 driver and that the rumours weren’t rumours after all.

You had spent the entire trip to Paul Richard looking at the stories and ignoring the calls from your friends, who were surely willing to tell you how stupid they thought Carlos was. He had to go earlier that day, so you were going solo with Sofia. Your friends didn’t like when you forgave him years ago and surely now they were eager to tell you how wrong you had been to forgive him back then. They were going to have opinions about it.

“Mom” Sofia called you “Can I go?” She asked you, pointing to Carola, who was leading Checo Jr. and Carlotta by the hand.

“Go,” you told her and stood watching as she approached them.

Your phone vibrated again, and you rolled your eyes before answering the call.

“Leticia”

“Did you watch the videos?” Your friend asked you with a shriek.

“Yes, I did,” You let out a sigh “They don’t mean a thing”

“Don’t they mean anything? Talk to him,” she insisted.

“I did it. He says nothing happened and I believe him,” you told him firmly. You watched as Sofia ran with Checo Jr. and Carlotta.

“(Y/N)” Leticia’s tone made you close your eyes briefly. You didn’t want to hear everything she had to say, you knew she was coming from a good place but you didn’t need to keep dwelling on the subject “I love you but he’s done this before, what tells you he didn’t do it again?”

“He says he didn’t do it, I have to trust Leticia, he’s my husband” The children were playing tag and Carola was talking to a couple of people next to them.

“That he cheated on you before,” she added.

“Can you let that go? I'm the one who forgave him was me and we moved on,” You had forgiven and until that moment, you had never looked back “I won't believe some random girl over my husband”

“Just be careful, okay?” She mumbled, “Maybe the girl is telling the truth after all”

“Or maybe he wants her minute of fame and that’s it.” You really didn’t want to have that conversation with her. The last thing you needed was for Leticia to keep insisting on the song “I’ve to go”

You approached the Perez. Carola was telling you about the family’s plans for the summer break, but all you could think about was the conversation you had with Leticia. You couldn’t stop thinking that she came from a place of love and didn't want you to make a mistake away, but you wished you hadn’t answered her call.

Carola offered to watch Sofia for an hour, since she wanted to play with Carlotta and Sergio Jr. You promised her you would meet her at Red Bull hospitality after dropping off your stuff.

“Hey” Lando greeted you walking next to you “Sofia didn’t come today?”

“She is with the Perez,” you answered, speeding up your pace a bit.

“Are you ok though? Have you seen the videos Natalia posted? Luisa just called,” You closed your eyes briefly and took a deep breath. You really didn’t want to talk about it. Why couldn’t people understand that? “Luisa can’t believe she did this,” Lando babbled “She is technically not her friend, but she hangs out with her cousins ​​and-”

You interrupted him, “I know there must be a very interesting story behind all this, but I don’t want to hear it today, Lando”

“Are you mad?” He asked, frowning.

“Not at you if that’s what you are asking” You shrugged. You still believed Carlos, you really did, but you didn’t want to hear more people talk to you about it. You wanted to believe Carlos, you had to because otherwise, it meant that he had lied to you.

“C’mon, (Y/N) I promise that nothing she says is true, he didn’t even look at her twice all weekend” Carlos hadn’t looked at her twice but somehow he ended up in her house? Lando had to find something better to say if he was going to want to defend him.

“Lando” You called him “I really don’t want to hear it” You didn’t want to talk about that stuff with anyone except him, you just needed to get on with your day and you would talk to Carlos later.

“Have you talked to Carlos yet?”

“He has commitments with the sponsors today” You explained HIM. That was the reason he had to leave the hotel a little earlier today.

“If that makes you feel better, nothing happened” Lando had no way of knowing that for sure, but you understood Carlos was his friend and he had to defend him.

“How do you know? Did you sleep in the same room? Lando took a step back at your tone. You felt bad for him but he had insisted on talking about it after you had told him you didn’t want to do it “Look, I’m not mad at you, Carlos is the one that owes me all that we already know” You scratched forehead “I’m just disappointed” You sighed “I know you are his friend and not mine but I opened you the doors to my home, I watched you sit on my table, play with my daughter, I thought at least you would give me the courtesy and the respect I deserved, not as your friend’s wife but as a person who welcomed you into their home” The fact that the girl was close to Luisa and that Lando had the idea of ​​going in the first place did not I had been upset because after all it was Carlos who had agreed to go but at the time you were just mad and Lando was being your punching bag since you couldn’t talk to Carlos.

“Carlos said yes.” Lando frowned. “And I didn’t think there was anything wrong with going to the cottage, either.”

“And that’s his fault” You agreed “but you could have to think about the fact that he has a wife and a 5-year-old kid who by the way, thinks highly of you, Lando” You were being unfair, you knew it but you needed to download the anger and Lando had pushed you to the limit without knowing it “I’m sorry, I know you can’t control Carlos actions and that it’s not your fault but I’m mad right now and I don’t want to talk about it” You let out a sigh because Lando looked like he had been punched in the face. “See? I’m being a bitch, not the right time, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” He assured you “Talk to you later?”

You responded with a nod and a grunt before he trotted off to McLaren’s hospitality. Your shitty humor scared him, that was for sure. You didn’t know if you needed to talk to Carlos; you felt you didn’t, but after talking to Leticia and Lando, you felt you had to.

After leaving your things in the hospitality, you returned with Carola and the children. When you checked your cell phone, Leticia had sent you a message ‘I thought you wanted to see this video that’s going around on Twitter’ followed by a video where you could see Carlos at the party he had gone to, he had the same clothes as her. photo where he was posing with the girl and her friends. It seemed as if it had happened before the photo was taken. He was with his arm leaning against the wall, leaning. You supposed to hear her over the music. It was nothing compromising, but it was enough to send your mind flying. Now you couldn’t stop thinking about the videos that the girl had uploaded and the answers to her followers’ questions. In one, she had said how the driver had done it ‘more than one time’.

You watched that video repeatedly. Technically, there was nothing wrong with it but, and added to everything else, that was the breaking point where you wondered if you had to be so calm and trust Carlos’ word after all.

You couldn’t talk to Carlos until after the race, he had had to take a penalty, so he had started from the bottom of the grid but had come back to P5. It had been a difficult weekend because you knew Carlos wanted more but he had overtaken cars to get to the top of the table.

You walked down the hallway that led to his driver’s room. Carlos had to go to Maranello, and you were going to return with Sofia to Madrid on a commercial flight, and you didn’t want to have that conversation on the phone. You took a deep breath. You could do that. It was just a conversation with your husband. 

“Hey,” you told him, leaning against the door frame.

“Hey, I’m done and we can go”

“Okay,” you told her with a small nod before moving to close the door behind you.

“Something happens?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“The girl,” You closed your eyes briefly “Natalie” You corrected yourself cause after all she had a name “She uploaded some stories talking about how she slept with a driver”

“Are you with that again? I thought we had clarified that nothing happened,” He replied, putting on his shirt.

“Leticia sent me a video of you and her at a party talking” You swallowed hard. There was actually nothing wrong with the video itself. God, were you being dramatic?

“I don’t understand what you want me to say”

Carlos didn’t seem to be worried or nervous about the new information, so that had to mean there was nothing he was keeping from you, right? “I want you to tell me if there is anything else that I should know other than what you told me I should be concerned about or that I am not seeing”

You saw how his expression changed a bit and how doubt appeared in his eyes

“Tell me” You demanded

“What?”

“You’re hiding something from me,” You pointed out “spit it out”

“She tried to kiss me,” He admitted, and you felt her breath catch briefly as she tried to process his words “But I pulled away before she could.”

“She tried to kiss you?” You asked him in disbelief. Hadn’t I thought of telling you before? Did you have to ask him to tell you? “And you didn’t mention it before? How did we go from ‘nothing happened’ to ‘she tried to kiss me’?”

“Nothing happened, she tried to kiss me, she was clearly drunk, and I walked away, that’s all” Carlos shrugged “You know that’s happened before” Some fans sometimes wanted to try their luck with drivers, and twice they had tried it with Carlos, he had been horrified but you had found it hilarious. Now you weren’t finding it the least bit funny.

“See? I really want to trust you but you keep lying and hiding things,” You groaned.

“I’m not lying,” He insisted.

“First you didn’t tell me you were going to stay at the country house and then you omitted to tell me she had tried to kiss you,” You wanted to believe him but he had already lied to you before or omitted things. You couldn’t help but wonder, what else wasn’t he telling you? “Put yourself in my shoes, Carlos, this isn’t getting any better”

“It’s the truth, nothing happened I swear, there’s nothing else I can say”

“I don’t even get why you wanted to go to her country house in the first place, all to play golf?”

“Was I supposed to say no?” He asked, raising his eyebrows and you wore red. Did he still not understand that it wasn’t right?

“Mhm, yes?” You told him as if it was obvious “You wouldn’t even want to go to something like that, especially knowing that if anyone found out, rumours would spread.”

“It was just a weekend in the country, I wasn’t even alone with her,” He defended himself “What has anything to do with my love for you?”

“You put me through all this speculation and rumours to go play golf, Carlos. My faith in you is falling quick”

“What am I guilty of? Wanting to play golf? Wanting to take a break with my friends?”

You snorted, “I wish I could do that”

“Do what? Take a break? Of course, you can”

You passed your hands over your face. He couldn’t be serious, he couldn’t be so oblivious to the fact that you had a five-year-old depending on you “Are you kidding me? What about Sofia? Who is the one who is with her when she gets sick? Who takes her to school? Who helps her with her homework?”

Carlos took a step back, a little hurt by your statement. Well, at least he knew you were furious “That’s not fair. You know I’m there whenever I can when work isn’t in the middle”

“Or when you’re not playing golf,” you muttered scathingly.

“Are you suggesting I’m not a good father?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Well, if you keep pulling things like this you are not getting the award for father of the year that’s for sure,” you mocked sarcastically. You were uncontrollable, and you really didn’t mean it, but now you were furious.

“husband of the year? Maybe not,” He shook his head, giving you a hurt look “But father? Don’t you think you are being a little unfair?”

“Instead of spending a part of your limited time with your daughter, you stayed there, have fun and lie to me about it. That’s ok but is that me being unfair or is it you not seeing things?” You weren’t thinking clearly. You wanted him to hurt as much as your chest was hurting you at that moment. You knew he would be there more if he could and that the parents could also take time off “I would love to have fun go to Ibiza with my friends and leave Sofia with someone else,” Especially if he was around, that would be much easier “but you know, at least one of us has to stay and give her some stability”

“Sometimes I need to take a break and I enjoy playing golf. Apparently those are my sins,” He said, and you raised your eyebrows. Was he being sarcastic now?

“A break? Do you feel you needed a break?” Suddenly you were angry about the fact that he had never thought about you, that maybe you also needed a break sometimes “What about me?”

How had you guys gone from talking about the videos and what had happened in Brazil to questioning which of you two deserved more of a break? You needed to get out of there. You didn’t want to continue having this conversation with him. It would not end well, even though everything was already a mess, anyway.

“I think I’m going to leave with Sofia early,” you murmured, turning around to open the door.

“(Y/N)” He called you “Don’t do this”

“Me? You are the one making the stupid decisions” You rolled your eyes before opening the door and walking out.

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TUESDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

It was funny how everything could fall apart so fast. You thought your relationship with Carlos was solid, but now you could only see how everything was falling apart in front of you. It was a house of cards, fragile and that with just a breeze had ended up in pieces.

What had followed the disastrous weekend in France had been a client asking if you were fit to work. A client you had been working on for the last few months had looked at you and asked if that was a good time for you to meet to see the details for the coatings. You would have thought she just wanted to be polite if it wasn’t for the look she had given you. She had given you a look of sympathy. You gave her a friendly smile and told her you were fine to see the details of the coatings, but deep down you were furious. People talked. You preferred to pretend like it wasn’t, but it was. People probably also talked about it behind your back.

Your boss also asked you if you needed some days off. No, you didn’t need it. Why would you? You never regretted having started dating a public person like Carlos, but for the first time, you were. The client and your boss hadn’t even had to mention what they were referring to. You knew they had probably read about your private life.

You knew how all that worked. The rumours. You had seen it a couple of months ago with Checo’s video after the Monaco Grand Prix. Everyone had been talking about it for a week until Checo had released a statement to calm the waters. At that moment, you had felt bad for Carola, for having to deal with all that after giving birth less than a month ago.

Hola! magazine published an article about how Carlos and you seemed to be more solid than ever, along with some photos in the paddock and others recycled from previous vacations. You suspected that the Ferrari PR team could be behind that, working behind the scenes.

You avoided Carlos as much as possible, trying to put a space between you so you could cool your head and think clearly about what had happened. You and Sofia were supposed to travel to Budapest on Friday to join him for the last race of the summer break before you all moved to Mallorca for the rest of the break. Blanca, Carlos’s sister, was getting married next week, so they were going to spend a few days in Madrid before going on vacation. You decided you weren’t in a mental state to call Carlos to tell him that. You just sent him a text saying you’d see him in Madrid on Monday. Of course, he called you after reading the message. You ignored his calls twice until he saw that he clearly would not stop, so you answered the phone.

“Finally,” He answered on the first ring “Are you avoiding me?”

“Yes, I am” There was no point in denying anything. You didn’t want to talk to him after what had happened on Sunday.

“Are you still mad about that?” He let out a moan from the other end of the phone “I told you already what happened”

“Yeah, I know the speech by heart, ‘nothing happened’, right?” Sarcasm came out of your voice.

“Are you still mad?”

“No, I was angry on Friday maybe, now I’m furious,” You corrected him. Furious couldn’t explain how badly you wanted to play darts with a photo of him “Everyone is talking about what happened, my boss just asked me if I don’t want to take a vacation, so you’re not exactly my favourite person right now”

“I don’t understand why you care so much about what people say?”

“It’s humiliating, I have clients who are aware of what they say about my private life and all the rumours they are inventing” From a threesome of Carlos with Lando and the girl until he had bought her a ticket so that saw you at the Monaco Grand Prix when you knew that wasn’t true, he had been glued to you that weekend, his whole family had been there too, that just wasn’t possible “A client, a client asked me if I was fit to continue with the project, this is my job Carlos, I don’t live being your lapdog”

“The rumours will go away, they will move on to the next topic of the moment,” He said to comfort you.

“They won’t go away fast enough,” You sighed and rubbed your hand over your face “An article in Hola! won't make them go away.”

“It’s the most popular magazine in Spain,” Carlos pointed out.

You let out a bitter laugh “You think an article is gonna be enough to shut it down?” You rolled your eyes. People on Twitter almost certainly did not read that magazine and you doubted they would stop talking about it soon. His name was still trending “It’s not just Spain, everyone is talking about this in case you haven’t noticed”

“The rumours aren’t my fault.” He murmured back, “You knew this was my life before you got into it.”

“Yeah, I know”

“Why are you mad at me, then?”

“You are an idiot! That’s the problem! You acted like one with all this stuff,” You took a deep breath, you really didn’t want to explode against him and start yelling at him on the phone “I-I have to go, Sofia is calling me”

“I didn't hear anything”

“I’ll talk to you later,” you answered before ending the call. You put the phone aside. Yes, that definitely hadn’t gone well.

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MONDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

You knew immediately when Carlos slid in beside you on the bed. Mainly because you felt the bed sink under his weight and because you could smell the scent of his shampoo as if he had just taken a shower. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know that it was early in the morning. He had sent you a text (to which you hadn’t responded) before you went to sleep to let you know he was going to be late. Hungary had not been good. Both Ferraris had been left off the podium and had suffered a beating from Red Bull and Mercedes. In addition, the strategy had been a disaster and the criticism of the team was becoming increasingly fierce. When he saw he had no intention of approaching you, so you rolled over to lean on him and snuggle up against him even without opening your eyes, you didn’t think you could face him at that moment. He was so hot, so cozy, perfect to cuddle up to.

“Hey, you,” He murmured brushing his lips with your hair “Shouldn’t we talk?”

“Tomorrow” You moaned against him and felt a couple of drops from his wet hair fall on your forehead.

You knew you shouldn’t. You were giving mixed signals, but you were semi-asleep and you weren’t so worried about the mixed signals but about snuggling against the warmth of him.

The next morning, you slipped out of bed and straight into the kitchen. If you were lucky, maybe you could make breakfast and sneak away, but when you were almost done, he walked into the kitchen with his hair tousled and still with a sleepy face.

“At least if you are gonna cheat on me, you should have been smart to do it.” You snapped out of nowhere. If they were going to talk about it, it was better to go to the point “Maybe my problem is that I expected too much from you”

“For the millionth time, I didn’t cheat on you,” He replied with a hoarse voice opening the refrigerator.

“I wish I could believe you” You snorted, cutting a couple of slices of bread “How could I know? How could I know nothing happened?

“Cause I’m telling you it didn’t”

“And that should be enough? I should trust your word just like that ”And his word should suffice then? Normally I would, but at the time you couldn’t stop thinking about how you had been in that position before. “Your word means nothing to me right now”

“I didn’t betray you”

“You owe me fidelity but first, you owe me respect, you couldn’t even respect me enough to not drag me into this month in public” You had spent the week with your boss insisting that you take a few days off and explaining to your clients that you could still pay attention to their projects.

“I wasn’t the one that made it public”

“You think I’m mad at her for taking her minute of fame?” You asked in disbelief “I’m mad at you for even giving her the chance to do it in the first place,” He should have thought and didn’t even go there in the first place “The fact you didn't cheat doesn’t make it any better, you still lied”

“I need you to trust me, nothing happened,” He insisted and approached you to place his hands on your shoulders but you took a step back

“Trust you? You cheated on me once. What’s stopping you from cheating on me again?”

“You forgave me for that!” Carlos exclaimed.

“I did, yes” You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Then you can’t bring it back after all these years and use it against me. If you decide to forgive, you can’t go out there throwing it in my face”

You opened your mouth to reply when he saw something moving out of the corner of your eye. Sofia came out of the hall, rubbing her eye with her fist.

“Are you fighting?” she asked softly.

“No corazón, we chat, that’s all,” you assured her, giving Sofia a small smile. Piñon came walking behind her before approaching Carlos so that he could pet him. Traitor.

“Come here, enana” Carlos said to Sofia before taking her in his arms “Let’s make those pancakes you like” he added before giving you a look that said you were definitely going to continue that conversation later. Fantastic. You couldn’t wait.

A couple of hours later, while you were trying to finish an email for a client, Carlos walked into the office.

“Didn’t you get the memo? I don’t want you here. Go away, get lost,” you growled without looking up at him. You were in a bad mood. Your customer thought you were distracted because the store had apparently delivered the wrong colour tile. That wasn’t your fault. How could it be? “I don’t want to deal with you right now.” You didn’t want to know if he was cheating on you or not.

“Stop walking away from me,” He leaned against your desk “We need to solve this out”

“I’m not 22 anymore. I can’t just turn around and walk away. I wish I could, but I can’t” You slammed the laptop lid shut. You’ve had enough of your talk. You just wanted me to leave you alone “Cause be sure as fuck that I would walk away if it wasn’t for Sofia”

“You don’t mean that”

“Oh, I do. You kept things from me, lied about it, and then suggested it was because you ‘wanted a break’ was really revealing.” You still didn’t understand why he had wanted to do all that.

“I didn’t want the rumours to happen.” His guilty expression almost made you feel sorry for him. Almost.

“And you think I wanted this? Having a baby at 22? No, I did not, but these are the cards we got.” And he was the one who needed a break? If I needed a break, then you needed the world to stop “You had an option, you could just walk away”

“What?”

“When I got pregnant with Sofia, I gave you a choice, to walk away,” you reminded her. At that moment, you didn’t want him to feel trapped and need to stay with you just because you got pregnant.

“What does all this have to do with what happened in Brazil?” Carlos frowned.

“You said you needed a break and I’m just remembering you that you had the choice to walk away back then”

“I couldn’t have even if I wanted to and you know that” Of course, he would always want to do the right thing, he could never walk away from his daughter but still you gave him the option to choose what he wanted to do. Neither of them was ready to have a child, but less than nine months later, Sofia arrived.

“I ’m giving you the choice again. If you don’t want this life, you can go” You would not hold him. You were tired of fighting and, honestly, you weren’t even sure of anything anymore.

“You are giving up on us?” He asked, staring at you.

“You did it first,” you replied without taking your eyes off him “If you think you don’t want this life, married life, husband life, father life, then you are free to walk away”

“I could never walk away from Sofía” It was good to know, but then if he could walk away from you?

“Good to know. At least one of us is holding you back.” You replied sarcastically, but before Carlos could respond, Sofia stormed into the office.

“Moooooooooom!” she called out before stopping to look at the two of them “Are you fighting again?”

“We are not fighting, enana“ Carlos assured her, giving her a sweet smile “What happened?”

“I want a sandwich”

You gave her a look, and you raised her eyebrows.

“Please?” she added.

“A sandwich it’s then,” He said before picking her up and walking out of the office without even glancing at you.

Well, that had gone bad. Even if he hadn’t cheated on you, even if he had just lied to you, added to the background, you couldn’t help but think that he was lying to you. You wanted to trust him, you really wanted to, but Carlos had cheated on you before, that he was stopping him from doing it one more time? There was nothing to stop him. In fact, he could do it without you knowing about it. The problem was that even without the deception; he had still been disloyal to you in other ways. Also, if he hadn’t cheated on you, why hadn’t he mentioned to you earlier about the girl trying to kiss him? You hated having to be like this, doubting his word, but unfortunately, he had given you over one reason to do it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

THRUSDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

The rest of the week was torture. You two only interacted when Sofia was involved. You still slept in the same bed every night, mainly because Sofia was smart enough to know that something was happening if you two slept separately. The first night like that was an inferno, so you just fell asleep “accidentally” on the couch watching a movie or over your desk in your office. Every time, you woke up with a blanket over you. You hated him. Not only for the obvious, but for still doing stuff like that for you. It makes it harder to hate him as you should. You had to hate him for putting you in that situation.

Thursday night was Carlos’s sister’s bachelorette party and her fiancé’s bachelor party, so you two were going out separately. When you came back, you were clearly drunk, having lost count after finishing the fourth round of tequila shots. Normally you would stop before, but you wanted to get drunk. You needed to get drunk to cope with everything that was happening with you and Carlos. You were too tired and drunk to think about sleeping on the couch in an awkward position. Carlos was already in bed with the lights off when you came in. You cursed when you couldn’t undo the strap on your heel that made him squirm on the bed.

“Need help?” he asked with a murmur.

“No,” you growled, forcing the heel strap to lodge.

“Let me,” Carlos replied, getting up from the bed and approaching you. He crouched in front of you and you put your hand on his shoulder to steady yourself. Once I took off your heels, you put your feet on the ground and let out a groan of pleasure when you felt the cold floor under your feet. Wearing heels was a pain. You didn’t even have the strength to remove your makeup, so you crawled into bed and lay on your side. Carlos did the same, standing next to you.

“You hurt me,” you moaned as you felt the mattress move under his weight.

“I know,” he murmured.

“All you do is hurt me,” you complained “You are never here, so what am I supposed to do now? Worrying all the time about where you are and who are you with?”

“You have nothing to worry about,” Carlos replied, placing his hand on your arm.

“I gave you the best years of my life and this is how you pay me,” you slurred “Lying to my face”

“I’m sorry”

“Maybe I’m the one that’s your mistress after all” You moaned “Oh gosh” You put your hands over your face “I’m your mistress” You moaned “I hate you” You exclaimed and heard Carlos let out a breath “I hate you so bad” You hated him for making you love him, for loving so much every single thing of him. 

“You are not my mistress,” He replied, shaking his head “There is no one else but you”

“I wish I could believe you,” you moaned and paused before speaking again “Why did you need a break from Sofia and me? Are we overwhelming?” You asked him with a hurting look. 

“What? When did I say something like that?”

“The other day in your driver’s room, you said you needed a break”

“I-” He sighed “That wasn’t what I meant”

“Carlos?”

“And it is?”

“If you didn’t cheat on me, then why did you lie?” You asked him, turning to look at him.

Carlos stared at you for a minute before letting out a sigh “I don’t know”

Well, that answer only gave you more doubts.

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SATURDAY - MADRID, SPAIN

It was the day of the wedding. The day before, you had woken up with a hangover from hell and Carlos had just been... weird. He had been giving you weird looks all day and had a wet puppy look that made you wonder what the hell you said while you were drunk. That morning, he was not in bed when you woke up, so you had no clue what had happened.

Saturday was chaotic. Sofia had to be there earlier because she was going to be the flower girl, so Carlos’ parents took her a little earlier. You were going to go later so you could meet there.

“I’m ready, let’s go,” you told him, leaving the room still adjusting your bracelet “What are you doing?” You asked, frowning when you saw he was sitting at the table looking at a fixed point.

Carlos turned to see you “I’m giving you the divorce,” He informed you, moving the papers that were on the table towards you.

You stared at him for a moment “What?” you asked him in disbelief

“I’m giving you the divorce if that’s what you want”

“I heard you” You swallowed hard. How had that happened? Was he letting you go? “Are you giving up on us?

“I just want you to be happy,” He murmured “And the last two weeks? You were the most miserable person I’ve ever seen and I hate that for you,” Carlos explained getting up from the table “I’m sorry it’s because of me because I was an idiot”

“I’m sorry if I can’t avoid my humour,” you replied scathingly, crossing your arms over your chest.

“The last thing I want is for you to be miserable because of me”

“Giving me the divorce would be the least you could do after what you have done,” you pointed out. You didn’t want a divorce. You loved him, but you needed Carlos, to be honest, and willing to make changes. Not to repeat the same mistakes that had brought you there above all.

“We have a daughter that will need two parents that can coexist. We need to end this before we can’t even look at each other,” He pointed out.

He was giving up on you. As simple as that. He was letting you go and you couldn’t feel any more pain than what you were experiencing at that moment “You don’t think we can solve it?” You asked in a whisper.

“Last night you said you hated me,” He explained to you “I don’t think there is a point of return from that” Carlos added getting close to you “Also, you said something that made me think, I wanted to take a break from the races, not from you, nor from Sofia”

“Oh,” You frowned. He was referring to what he had said in his driver’s room. So he didn’t want a break from family life?

“You should explain it to me better. I’m sorry,” Carlos made a face.

“You should have just said it, not gone incognito for a weekend,” You agreed with a nod “And lie to me about it and hide things from me”

“I was wrong, I know, I’m sorry,” He admitted. At least Carlos was taking full responsibility for his actions.

“You didn’t ask me why I hate you”

“Why do you hate me?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“For making me love you,” You replied before letting out a sigh “That’s the thing, I love you so much” You bit your lower lip “And that’s a problem cause I can forgive all the stupid things you do, for all the love I’ve for you, for our little family, for our daughter”

“Do you think you can forgive after all this?” He asked, and you were silent for a minute before nodding slightly. You could at least try “You don’t want the divorce?”

“No,” You frowned “Why would I? I want us to work, but I need you to do better, be better Carlos, please”

“I will,” He assured you, nodding energetically before moving closer to you to wrap his arms around you. You had missed contact with him so badly “I’m so sorry, amor“ Carlos murmured against your hair “Are we ok?” He asked after a moment.

You bit your lower lip, you wanted to be honest with “No” you murmured softly but raised your head to give him a small smile “But we will be, eventually” you added confidently.

[m-i-r]

A bunch of theories about Lucy, NaLu & 100YQ’s endgame

This post was inspired by ch.102's events, which helped me work my brain and fill in a bunch of holes in some of my crack-pot theories that I've always had at the back of my mind.

  Now I want to start by saying that I don't expect any of these theories to actually happen, but I personally find them interesting, so I thought I'd share. ^_^ These theories generally cover:

#1 Lucy being either cursed or corrupted when she re-wrote the book of E.N.D (by cursed I mean something close to what happened to Zeref and Mavis, and by corrupted I mean becoming partially or entirely etherious, basically - she now has a demon seed, like Natsu)

#2 How the end-game boss will be defeated (which is NaLu-related) #3 What the one wish that Elefseria will grant upon completing the 100YQ will be (which is Lucy-related if #1 is correct)

First, to jog everyone's memory a little bit and reiterate what I said in my first ch.102 post:

When Natsu was on the verge of death, Lucy rewrote the book of E.N.D and saved his life, but by doing so, she was partially corrupted by the book itself, which should've ultimately killed her, but instead, there were no severe consequences whatsoever. 

Natsu's should've also died when Zeref did, but he didn't.

When this first happened, a popular theory was that by rewriting the book of E.N.D, Lucy unintentionally linked Natsu's life to hers instead of Zeref's, but that wasn't really confirmed or particularly hinted at. (After all, Lucy could've just wrote out the whole part of Natsu's life being linked to another. However, them being linked is still a possibility as it’s something that was neither outright confirmed nor denied)

After FT ended, and before 100YQ was a thing, I started religiously following whatever FT content I could salvage from Mashima's autograph sessions to twitter doodles. Two particular autograph sessions stood out to me. Or to be more correct, I'd say one of them stood out to EVERYONE - the one held in NYC, where Nasha and Greige were born - and one stood out to just me (as far as I know) - the one that was held in France. In France, a FT theorist (@/Nina2119deviantart to be more precise) met Mashima and gifted him some of their drawings, one of which was a fan-art of Lucy wearing a fanon black battle dress inspired by God Ankhseram (the god that cursed Zeref & Mavis), it was based on their theory of Lucy being Ankh's reincarnation just like Dimaria was Chronos' (I recommend watching their theories, they're interesting! They predicted the name of Lucy's book and the Iris/Lucy connection~). And apparently, Mashima took great interest in that drawing in particular, and looked at it a bunch of times. (Search their posts for their experience)

Then 100YQ started, and we were introduced to a character that was said to be as strong as Zeref: The White Wizard. At first, we thought that the White Wizard was Touka, and we also thought that Touka was in love with Natsu. Which is why many people remembered this:

And thought of it as a hint of how NaLu would receive its canonization in the sequel not necessarily thru a battle till death, but by a rivarly that'd instigate development and realizations from each party (after all, Mashima did initially consider an explicit romantic subplot with Natsu and Lucy, but within a love triangle w/ Lis, altho he scratched it to avoid fandom wars... Which still happened anyways lmao), but there wasn't really anything linking Lucy to "black" like the White Wizard was linked to "White". But ofc, in my mind, I trusted Mashima would find a way to link Lucy to black considering he really liked Lucy's Ankhseram-inspired dress in that fan-art, and through Nasha and Greige he's proved that he's willing to incorporate fan-ideas in his stories that he personally took a liking to. And now that I've remembered Lucy being corrupted by the book of E.N.D, I think it'd be logical if she were to have an "Etherious" form/battle dress that is pitch black. (Natsu's etherious form is basically just him being covered in flames - his fire magic, but much stronger... or should've been if we actually saw shit from it lol, anywaaays) But ultimately, Touka ended up being an exceed that's in love with Happy, and neither her nor Faris were the real White Wizard from the legends to begin with. That being said, the White Wizard is still a thing, and she could be either be 100YQ's real end-game boss or a villain for a next gen story to handle. Lucy being previously corrupted by rewriting the book of E.N.D is still a thing as well.

If the story doesn't end at Ignia (and NaLu doesn't get canonized in his arc), I suspect the White Wizard plot will be *the* end-game for it all and Touka/Faris were the foreshadowings for it.

Now regardless of who's the end-game boss: I believe the way to defeat them would be either through a

-"The One Magic (Love)" Power-up OR

-An "Etherious/Demonic Powers" Power-up (I explained how Lucy could have those, and Aldoron confirmed that Natsu is still partly a demon and dragon despite the convo he had w/ Igneel in Alvarez. His strong resolve of being human merely inactivated his seeds enough for him to survive) OR

  -both of them combined, all on top of a unison raid

Now about The One Magic (the "Love" interpretation of it, at least), it was *always* linked to Lucy. After all, she's the character Mashima chose to introduce this "concept" to the world of Fairy Tail through:

Mavis also came up w/ the idea of killing Zeref through her love for him after witnessing Natsu and Lucy's.... uhhh- teamwork lol.

  (Now personally speaking, I hated the whole fanservicy parts of the Jacob battle, so I couldn't take Mavis' "epiphanies" seriously when Mashima could've easily given us a more meaningful display from Natsu and Lucy to inspire her, but yeah, that did happen nonetheless)

Now in case Lucy's not an Etherious like Natsu who can just... live normally regardless of whatever's happening in her body, and she mayhaps has a nasty curse attached to her like Zeref and Mavis (albeit I can't predict its specifics- but it'd be something different from Zervis, but also not an enjoyable thing to have), OR if using Etherious powers against the final big bad has BOTH Natsu and Lucy cross the point of no return, where a simple "I'm actually a human not a demon or dragon or whatever!" cannot solve the problem anymore, I suspect Elefseria's One Wish could be the cure to everything:

Now THAT would be a more satisfying way to kill Natsu's demon seed, and Lucy's as well if she has one. The dragon seed problem was already solved through Igneel, and was only being re-activated through the demon seed, but without it, Natsu's as human as he wants and wishes to be.

And like - as far as the other Team Natsu members go - Wendy and Gray's wishes (having a big chest/a cat like Frosch) are shallow af so you can scratch them, & Erza doesn't seem to have anything in particular on her mind. A wish granted from such a tedious quest needs to be meaningful, and that's what I think it'll be.

Either ways, only time will tell~

[phoebe-delia]

26 pls

Oooohh, Nonnie, you picked a great one. This is "ivy" by Taylor Swift, and lemme tell ya, this song tells an interesting story. It has a lot of different interpretations, and this is mine: Drarry edition. A huge, gigantic, moon-sized thanks to my darling @written-in-ash for the wonderful alpha and beta work. I love you more. CW: smoking; arson; infidelity but not between Harry and Draco.

"Don't you have a choice?"

I laugh and toss my cigarette to the ground, crushing the ash under my new dress shoes. "When have I ever?"

Potter frowns, almost pouting. "You have free will, don't you? You could be inside at the party, watching her show off the ring and talking about venues. But instead, here you are,” he says. “With me."

I want to laugh again. How do I tell him that the force guiding me to him is magnetic? That I couldn't resist his pull if I wanted to?

Instead, I match his gaze, north connecting to south.

"Here I am."

****

My fingers tangle themselves in his hair, bringing his lips to mine. The wall is solid and cool on my back. Harry presses me up against it, trapping me there like he’s afraid that I want to leave—as if I wouldn’t stretch this moment into eternity if I could.

It’s over too soon, and later I’m watching the slow rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps. The judgmental moonlight glares accusingly at me through the window, but I pay it little mind. There’s privilege in having a natural shine. They would know, the moon and Harry.

I can’t stay here for much longer; eternity awaits.

****

Father is waiting for me in the living room. His glower makes me miss the moon, and I almost try to Apparate away, but he turns on the wards before I can lift my wand, and I’m trapped.

“What is the meaning of this?” Parchment crinkles in his tight fist. With his other hand, he brings a lit cigarette to his lips, letting the smoke curl in the air; mother must be out of the house.

My stomach churns, but I make my face blank. “Contrary to what you might think, Father, I lack the ability to identify the parchment while it is mangled in your hand.”

He snarls and tosses the parchment to the floor. I bend and pick it up, and my heart drops at the familiar handwriting.

Harry, I’ve thought it over, and I have no regrets, no matter what happens. I treasure every moment we’ve had. So, say the word, my love, and I’ll follow you. I’ll run with you to the ends of the earth.

I swallow hard. “It’s not what it seems.”

Father snarls. “Don’t lie to me, boy! I knew you were acting strange. I assumed it was nerves before the wedding. Turns out you’ve had a secret little coping mechanism in your bed!”

“That’s not true.” My voice is low and miraculously steady, belying my nerves. “We love each other, Father, and just because you and Mother chose to spend your lives in a sham of a marriage doesn’t mean I have to.” The words spill from my lips like a secret I’d kept from myself, but the truth tastes sweet and satisfying on my tongue.

Father smirks then, cruel and knowing. “You sound just like your mother.”

“I—what?”

“Perhaps you were too busy in Potter’s bed to notice, but your mother’s bag has been packed since yesterday.”

I feel faint. “Wh...What?”

“She’s gone,” Father waves the cigarette in the air lazily. “To the South of France, probably.”

My throat dries as the image of my mother, alone and heartbroken, plays in my mind. “When did this start?” My voice is raspy, weak and foreign to my ears.

“A year ago?” Father shrugs. “Five? Twenty? Who knows. What matters is that you’ve both made your choice. And now, so have I.”

Dread rushes through my body, prickling my skin. “What do you mean?”

Father smiles. He walks leisurely toward the window, looking around the room. He stops at the glass pane, running his free hand over the curtains. “You know, Draco, this house has been passed down through generations of Malfoys.”

“Yes, I know, Father. You may have mentioned that a few hundred times.”

He glares at me but continues. “You were going to live here with Astoria, one day. You were to be the next generation to carry on this proud Malfoy tradition. But I suppose,” his free hand grasps the curtain. “Everything has its end.”

“Father, what are you—”

Suddenly, he brings his cigarette to the fabric of the curtain, causing it to catch fire. Panicked, I freeze, unable to reach for my wand by the time the flames crept up the fabric and spread to the ceiling.

Father grins manically. “Goodbye, son.” He raises his wand and Apparates away.

“Father!” I stumble forward, my arm reaching out futilely to stop him but instead grasping empty air. I look at the flames swallowing the only home I’d ever known. Perhaps an Aguamenti would salvage it. Perhaps I could still marry Astoria and help Father return to his senses. Perhaps, even, my life might go on as it had been planned.

But then again, when has it ever?

Now, the choice is mine.

I Apparate away.

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!

Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!

I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.

The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.

I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...

...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.

It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.

Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.

Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!

Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!

Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)

I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.

Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.

At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!

Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!

Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!

Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.

Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.

Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?

Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.

And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.

Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.

She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.

Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...

...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.

This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.

Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.

That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.

Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.

1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.

2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.

Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!

Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!

Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.

The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul

The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.

Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.

Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.

Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!

They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.

Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.

Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.

Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!

Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)

The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.

Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.

Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)

Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".

Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...

...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...

...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!

Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.

Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!

Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!

So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.

I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)

Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...

...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.

We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...

The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!

Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.

Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).

CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.

ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!

Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.

Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.

The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???

Final showdown!

Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.

Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.

The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!

Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)

Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.

I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!

The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.

Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.

Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.

Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!

Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*

Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.

Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.

Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!

I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.

Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!

[license-to-geek]

I’ve read every drop of Norman fics on this site and AO3. I got desperate and even wandered to the Wild West known as Fanfic.net. Now sadly i have ran out and I have written my own.

Please note: this was written in the early hours of the morning;the character has a name but can be read Y/N as no description has been given; this is a three part story, if there is interest I might turn it into a full fic as I have a fair few ideas.

Also please let me know what you think!

And so I present: Beautiful.Dirty.Rich:Chapter One.

Chapter One

“Fuck” Kate muttered under her breath.

Looking at her watch she saw it was quarter past two, she was due to be upstairs for a meeting five minutes ago. Which wouldn't be that big of a deal except there's ten floors before she gets to the right level, and the elevators are notoriously slow, ironic for a STEM company.

Grabbing her bag from beside her she raced to the elevator. With a press of the button the elevator was on its way.

This internship at oscorp had been going well for Kate. She had been involved in some interesting projects which passed some time before she went back to college. Although if it wasn't for her friend Mary Jane she probably wouldn't have got it at all. With MJ seeing the CEOs son she was able to twist some arms. Kate felt guilty that she had a leg up in getting the internship, however unfortunately in this day and age it is who you know and not always what you know.

The elevator doors swiftly opened and standing in front of her was the CEO himself Norman Osborn.

Kate was obviously intimidated by the man. He didn't even have to say anything and yet each time she saw him anxiety would rise within her. It wasn't as if he was a particularly awful human being, sure he could shout but he treated people with kindness for the most part. More than likely it was the domineering CEO rich boy vibes that radiated off his persona that gave Kate the impression he would snap her in half.

"Good morning Sir' Kate managed to cough up as she stepped into the elevator.

"Morning" he replied absent mindedly.

It was just Kate and Norman in the elevator, which wasn't the best thing in the world. Kate had a habit of having to fill silences, even silences that weren't awkward.

Norman was wearing a black suit, white shirt and a red tie and a formal over coat. He looked immaculate. Not a single strand out his hair out of place. And those cheekbones, that jawline, she was sure she'd cut herself if she were to ever hold his face.

"How is Harry doing, I haven't been able to catch up with him in a while" you asked the man before you.

Mr Osborns gaze shifted to Kate "He's doing well. I sent him to France last week, he should be back tonight."

"Oh that sounds wonderful. I'll have to catch him when he's back."

As she finished her sentence the elevator stopped and the doors pinged open. Norman Osborn then walked out "have a nice day".

"Thanks, you too." Kate replied.

Kate managed to reach her meeting only being ten minutes late. Fortunately for her a few others where running late too, apparently there had been an incident downstairs that caused people to be late. Probably an elevator breaking down again no doubt.

The room was slowly starting to fill out, people where having their own conversations waiting for time to pass.

"Kate Underwood, glad you could join us" her supervisor Mark said to her.

"Hi Mark, yeah sorry I'm late I got carried away downstairs writing up that cell generation report from last week."

"Not too worry, coffee ?"

The meeting went on for what seemed like eternity. Once it was finished Kate raced to the elevator. It was a bit later than she usually finished.

The elevator doors pinged open, and it was like deja vu, Norman Osborn was the sole person in the elevator.

"Good evening Sir." Kate said rushing into the lift.

"Ah Miss Underwood glad to run into you. Harry called, he's wanting to host a dinner party Saturday night, wants to invite you and the rest of his friends." Mr Osborn announced.

"That sounds lovely, be good to have a catch up before we all go back to college. What time ?" Kate replied.

"Around six I imagine."

"Brilliant, Looking forward to it."

After a lengthy pause Mr Osborn continued to interaction.

"How was the 12th floor meeting this afternoon?"

"Yeah, it went well. We've come up with some new ideas to increase the performance of the type 13s. May need to push the deadline back a little bit further due to supplier issues. But that was to be expected."

Mr Osborns shot a smile at Kate "good to hear, keep up the good work Underwood."

With that the elevator doors opened and the pair of them stepped out and went to go their separate ways.

"Have a good evening Sir." Kate said

"You too Miss Underwood."

Kate made her way back home to the flat she rented out. Unfortunately her parents no longer live in America, they moved to England a few years ago. However Kate decided to remain in order to finish her studies. She fortunate enough that her parents could give her some money each money to help pay for things.

[sumsebien]

by design pt. 3// Prince Friedrich

series masterlist

summary: friedrich and y/n’s arrival in prussia! ft. frederica ;))

word count: 4.7k

warnings: none

a/n: apologies for the long wait darlings. here she is though. and she is a long one. also a side note for those who love symbolism as much as i do 💐 ;) also, my banabaer @milkbaer this one is for u baby. thank you for all of your help!!!

a german lesson: Gänschen means goose🦆 (that’s a duck but we can pretend) and schloss means palace/chateau/mansion

The massive railway station stood proudly as the gateway to Potsdam, located right where the forest met the city. Three archways made of worn bricks welcomed old friends and strangers alike. There was something in the slightly tinted mossy green that offered you an odd sense of home. Like you had been here before.

Friedrich stood next to you near the exit. You had had breakfast together, then got ready separately before meeting each other again here.

“I had a lot of memories with this train station,” Friedrich said as the train finally passed the great archway.

You didn’t realize that you had been holding your breath the entire time, waiting for the wheels to come to full stop. You had been storing information from Lea and Ilse about Friedrich’s mother all morning. Anything that might help you strike up a decent conversation with her from her favorite flowers (gardenias) to her pets (a schnauzer named Fifi). Since then, you had been a little preoccupied by your own imaginations of her as a mother.

From the way Friedrich talked about her, your first guess was that they were extremely like-minded. Aside from that, there was the fact that she was a Queen to consider. She obviously must be extremely elegant and poised. Even her dog sounded posh-Fifi the Schnauzer...

You were still listening to Friedrich though, just not closely. “Really?” you asked, your eyes following the platform numbers as they passed by.

He nodded proudly. “I ran here from the Palace and caught the train to Berlin for a boxing match.”

You laughed, now entirely engaged in imagining little Friedrich fleeing from his guards. “And how old were you?”

“Thirteen. I skipped a dancing lesson.”

“Shame. You could have become a ballerina and outdone my stunts at your Christmas party.”

“Who’s to say that I did not? There are still many shocking things that you don’t know.” His plan to distract you from your own nerves had worked wonderfully well. You two continued to discuss his boxing match up until you were escorted out of the station.

There, you were greeted by a great spectacle of carriages and a horse parade. Everywhere you looked there were men in uniforms. They were on horses, in open top carriages, on the streets, all waiting for you and Friedrich.

Back in London, your family frequently had two to three carriages to accompany you to social functions. It was already considered excessive for the ton. You would have laughed at the idea of this. Or to be honest, wouldn’t have even been able to imagine having an entire parade to accompany you a couple of blocks down the street.

And of course, you could not forget the icing on the cake-the largest carriage you had ever seen. The one you saw in France could not compare and certainly not the one in England. This one was completely enveloped in gold from top to toe-or rather from roof to wheels. On the top of the roof, there were golden cherubs holding up an olive branch and flowers.

It was a harsh reminder that Friedrich, someone who you had grown to identify as your friend over the last several hours, was also the firstborn son of the King, heir apparent to the throne. And you were his wife. Whatever agreement you had made with each other in private was not valid in the public eye. Here, you were a Princess. The Princess.

As Friedrich watched you marvel in the magnificence of the royal parade, he turned to Heinrich with a last minute decision. Well last minute for his father and valet but not for him. Friedrich had wanted to visit his mother for ages.

“I’m heading to my mother’s. We’ll catch up with the staff afterwards and meet you at the Berlin Palace.”

All of this was not on the schedule his father had drawn out and Friedrich was well-aware. He had even cancelled the state train that Friedrich specifically ordered to Potsdam just to make sure he would not take you here first. But Friedrich was not one to lose.

At the same time, however, he knew that his valet was absolutely terrified of his father, as did most people. Soon enough, when his father found out that his son was not on the train to Berlin and was nowhere near the Royal Palace, he would definitely not be happy.

“But your Highness, we really must get going now or we won’t reach Berlin by noon.”

“If he asks, just blame it on me. I’ll be in and out in one hour.”

Heinrich didn’t say anything after that, just nodded. For that, Friedrich was thankful, he did not want to ruin this magical moment for you. It was not going to be this magical for long.

As Heinrich left with your staff, Friedrich turned back to you. “Y/N?”

“I-Is this for us?”

The look on your face made him laugh. Your jaws were grazing the floors, your eyes slowly sweeping across the scene then glanced at him and back to the carriages again.

“I believe it is,” he smiled, offering you his arm.

…

The entire ride back to the Palace was essentially just for you to fathom the welcome wagon.

You could barely string a sentence together, nodding along as Friedrich picked out places that he mentioned in his stories last night, especially enthusiastic about the candy shop he was never allowed to go in.

Potsdam was charming. You could certainly imagine a very fulfilling and peaceful existence here where it wasn't hectic like London but not entirely placid like the countryside.

Just when you thought you could not be more impressed, you arrived at Sanssouci Park.

When Ilse briefly mentioned it, you had expected a park. Like Hyde Park or Regent’s Park or the little garden behind your house that your parents insisted was a park. Whatever you had imagined, however, could not hold a candle to what it was in reality.

“Welcome to Sanssouci Park,” Friedrich said casually, casting a brief look out the windows while your eyes were completely glued to the towering gates opening up for your parade to pass through.

The name was not meant to refer to a park. It was definitely not a park. It was a bloody forest. As you entered the road lined with dense trees, the temperature dropped slightly with the shade, effectively cooling you both from the outside in.

“This is what you call a park? Whatever do you two think of Hyde Park then? A child’s sandbox?”

Before he could answer, your attention was quickly captured by a glimpse of something magnificent as the carriage passed a gap between the tree trunks. You pointed towards the dash of yellow you’d seen. “Is that where your mother lives?”

Friedrich followed your gaze and promptly nodded. “That’s Sanssouci Schloss. Here is the back of it.” Just on cue, the carriage rounded the corner and headed towards the back of the Palace.

Your jaws were officially off now as your eyes feasted on the very picture of splendor.

From personal observations, people usually spent a great deal of time and fortune on making the fronts of their homes as extravagant as possible. It was all in the face, as they said. But not here. Here, even the rear side was grand.

There was a huge water fountain in the middle of the yard, the blue sky printed on the surface. Naturally, your eyes followed straight ahead, past the window behind Friedrich’s head towards the most elaborate set of marble stairs you’d ever seen. On either side were tall walls of hedges and rose bushes that covered the hillside.

“Can we walk up those steps?”

Friedrich turned to look at the steps and then back at you again.

It was not a steep hill. More of a gentle slope but exactly because of that, the steps were long and the landings were wide. Anyone in breeches would find it challenging enough as it was. But you were in a gown, in the sweltering July heat and you were volunteering to walk. “You can. People usually go straight to the entrance though. Are you certain you’d want to walk? It is a long way.”

You nodded, brushing off his concerns. All you cared about was the sight.

Per your request, the carriage stopped right before the grand stairs to Sanssouci Palace. You and Friedrich got out of the carriage.

From where you stood, you had to crane your neck up slightly to be able to see the Palace up the top. The strip of yellow you’d seen from afar turned out to be much more intricate than you’d expected. Beautiful white windows lined the yellow walls, right in the center was an oval shaped room with a cyan dome on top, perfectly aligned with the stairs. Even though it only had one story, its width certainly made up for its height, stretching across the hill.

As you walked ahead, Friedrich decided to stall a little bit. Memories of endless summer days spent on these lawns came flooding back.

He had missed this.

The last time he was here was the summer before he left for England. It was actually here that his aunt Charlotte came to visit with an invitation to Cambridge-the day that changed his life.

And now he was here with you. Someone he had dreaded to marry a mere few days before. Now a dear friend to him.

Straight in front of him, you were marching up the steps with admirable determination, your hands holding onto your skirt, lifting it off the ground. With sun on your skin and wind in your hair, you laughed and told him to hurry up. For that split second, he wished he was not just your friend. Though he discarded that thought as quickly as it came, it stayed stuck in the back of his mind as he matched your pace.

“These are a lot of steps,” you remarked after the first flight of stairs was behind you. There were at least five more ahead. The excessively wide spaces between each step did not help with the general morale either.

“I did warn you,” he chuckled. “It was too exhausting a trip that Marie Antoinette rode a horse up these steps after her stroll in the garden.”

You paused for a moment.

Friedrich thought you were imagining the French queen trotting up the steps with her stallion. But as it turned out, he was wrong.

“Did he invite her over during one of the military clashes between Prussia and France?”

To say that Friedrich did not expect that was an understatement. You had told him you read but he never asked for the specifics on what exactly you were interested in. At that moment, he simply thought you’d be interested in a made-up tale to forget about the stairs. He did not think for a moment you’d be interested in foreign conflicts enough to know the feud between Prussia and France. He knew he certainly wasn’t as a student.

“You can’t fool me. I know,” you said, laughing at the shock on his face.

Pleasantly impressed, he remarked, “Full of surprises I see.”

“You’ll see that in this friendship,” you motioned between yourselves, “you’re not the only one who can shock.”

He gave you a nod, lowering his eyes and watched his steps before he murmured to himself. “Friendship, yes.” He reminded himself of how grateful he was to be your friend. And that maybe pining over you for the rest of his life was better than having you hate him.

If there was one thing for certain, it was that you two would not repeat his parents’ mistakes.

“Darling!”

The voice caused Friedrich’s eyes to snap upwards, slightly alarmed as they weren’t expected on this side of the Palace. Everyone was supposed to be at the front.

The first thing he saw was that you had stopped as well, only standing two steps above him. And then, on the top flight, he saw his mother, waving at him. She wasn’t supposed to greet them outside. At the same time though, he wouldn’t expect her to wait that long for anything anyways.

He waved back with a laugh. She hadn’t changed one bit since the last time he saw her nearly a year ago. A straw sunhat on top of her head, a basket of flower and gardening tools in her hand.

“I-is that-“

Friedrich nodded. “Yes, that’s her. That’s my Mama.”

The nervous jitters came back to you. You knew how much his mother meant to him. She was the true hero of his childhood and you were just excited to meet her. However, you also knew that in no way was this arrangement made by her. And no matter how friendly you were with Friedrich, as his mother, she would not easily trust you.

You quickly masked your nervousness with a gentle smile. It was the safest route after all. Better look like a smiley fool than a grumpy idiot. You thought.

The Queen began to walk down the steps briskly, meeting you halfway up the last flight of stairs. Immediately, she threw her arms around Friedrich, pulling him into a bear hug. “There you are, you Gänschen! You’ve kept your mother waiting long enough!” She said, messing up his hair and only letting go of him once he was shaking with laughter.

When he and your maids said she was very carefree in private, you did not expect her to be this carefree. A lady was not supposed to be out in the sun like this, no less a queen. She was also much more beautiful than you could ever imagine, with her honey blonde curls tumbling down her back in waves and her big blue eyes which were now on you.

“Apologies, Mama,” he stepped back, allowing you to take a step forward. “This is Y/N, my wife. And Y/N, this is my Mama.”

“It is such an honor to meet you, your Majesty,” you said, bending your knees into a curtsy, praying you wouldn’t stumble backwards and ruin the first impression.

You had an overwhelming want for her to like you. And you felt like this first meeting was of paramount importance in deciding that. If it did not go well, she would never see you as anything more than a girl her son was forced to marry. And that was terrifying even in the case where Friedrich remained a good friend.

You were not wrong. Frederica did not expect much from a match made by Louis, a man who clearly did not know his own son or even cared to try. Assuming he did know his son, it would not even be of any matter at all. The only thing he had ever cared about was grooming an heir. This arrangement, no doubt, served that.

But Frederica could not ignore the large smile on her son’s face as he ascended the steps with this young lady.

That? That was not by design.

Frederica shook her head and offered you her hand to help you stand up straight. “I prefer Frederica. At least when we are not in court.”

She gave you a cheeky wink and plucked a gardenia from her basket, tucking it by your ear. “Come on now! I am sure it has been a long trip for the both of you. Let us have some tea before you go.”

...

Frederica led the both of you into the Palace through the doors into the oval room. Inside it was just as spectacular as its exterior. Tall columns held up the painted dome where a chandelier was hung. The three arched windows looking out to the gardens were pushed open by three footmen, allowing sunlight and fresh air to gush into the space, lightening up the entire room.

“Please have a seat, dears,” Frederica said, gesturing to the rounded table in the middle of the room.

You were still too in awe to be able to settle down calmly in your seat but obeyed her anyways. Beside you, Friedrich was glancing around the room, like he was in search of something.

“Is Fifi not here?” he asked as a butler approached the table with a cake stand.

Just on cue, Fifi-his mother’s Schnauzer, shot through the doors. You nearly gasped out of sheer excitement when you saw the ball of salt and pepper fur fly into the room like an arrow. You had always shared a fondness for dogs. Yet you never had one. The only dogs you had were your father’s hunting hounds and he made sure you remained far away from them.

“Speak of the devil...” Friedrich turned to you, “this is Fifi, hated by most but very loved by my mother. Mostly because she smells like fish.”

He kept his eyes on the dog as she strolled around, heading in your direction and getting alarmingly close. “Fifi!” he said, shooing her off. The dog didn’t care, just kept on going forward.

“Oh, it’s quite alright! I love dogs,” you said, fighting the urge to pet Fifi who was quietly sniffing at the hem of your skirt.

Frederica was absolutely surprised when she saw her Schnauzer so quiet. Her dog was not friendly with strangers. By this time there should have been an accident.

The delayed accident happened right after that. Fifi bit down on your dress, tugging at it playfully.

More surprising, however, you didn’t seem scared of the feisty little old thing either. You just laughed.

“Fifi! Leave the poor girl alone!” Frederica said, tapping her shoes against the floor.

Friedrich quickly leaned forward and picked her up. Being lifted off the ground, she released your skirt and focused on wiggling out of Friedrich’s grasps instead. When she eventually succeeded, Fifi headed back to you, circling your feet, her tail wagging.

Friedrich clicked his tongue, about to bend over again to shoo Fifi off. Not that she would care. But the dog plopped down between your chair and his mother’s, out of Friedrich’s reach.

She looked up at you with big eyes, begging for a pet, which you were happy to provide. You reached down and scratched her ears. It was all rather brave, if he must admit.

“I know it is hard to believe but she seems fond of you,” Frederica mused, seeing Fifi transform into a whole other dog under your touch. She was not usually this sweet.

Friedrich scoffed. “The devil almost ripped her skirt off,” he gestured to the hem of your dress, and glared at Fifi.

“It’s fine, honestly. I think it was a compliment if anything,” you said with a smile.

He sighed. “Don’t defend the perpetrator! She has a terrible temperament. And you know it,” he turned to his mother.

“Fifi does. as much as I love her,” Frederica nodded. Fifi’s ears perked up at the mention of her name, blinking at her owner. “But you seem like a very experienced animal whisperer.”

“No, actually. I never had one.”

“Well, that’s a shame. You’re great with Fifi. And if you can handle her, you can handle any dog.”

“Any dog is better than Fifi,” Friedrich said under his breath. Nevertheless, he was glad to see the two of you bond. Even if it was over Fifi the Ferocious.

On the bright side, at least she wasn’t coming back with them to Berlin. It was the only thing Friedrich and his father had ever had in common-a dislike for the Schnauzer.

...

Heinrich was being escorted into the Palace towards the audience room. A place he would much prefer not to go to on his own. He had arrived for over an hour and still you two were nowhere to be found and it was only for so long he could hide the train of carriages. Eventually, one of the butlers alerted the King of his presence and he was immediately requested inside.

Heinrich had suspected that you would arrive slightly late. He just didn’t think it could be this late. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. One misstep and off with his head.

When the doors to the room were swung open, the King was throwing a fit. His deafening yell rang across the room and bounced against the tall walls. It certainly did not help with the nerves.

“WHERE IS MY HORSE?” he demanded, rising up from the throne. From where he stood, he towered over the poor footman. “I am late for hunting!”

“Your Majesty, you cancelled today’s hunt.”

“And why on earth would I do that?”

Heinrich kept quiet, remaining invisible as he approached the throne behind the butler. He was not about to be caught in the middle of a crossfire during one of the King’s fits.

The footman blinked. Heinrich could see the man debating whether or not to answer, lest it was a rhetorical question.

“B-because the Prince is back from England, sir?”

“Oh,” the King said. His voice quieter than before and sat back down again. The crease between his Majesty’s eyebrows disappeared, his expressions softening slightly. Then he turned to the footman with a quizzical look. “And where is the Prince?”

The footman turned around and met Heinrich’s eyes. And then the King followed his gaze. So much for not wanting to be caught in the crossfire.

“I-“ Heinrich began, his mind drawing a blank.

If he were to tell the truth, Friedrich and you would no doubt be in trouble. However, if he didn’t tell the truth, he’d be in trouble and so would you two. And if he just said he didn’t know, he’d be on the first ship to an island far far away.

“Well?” The King barked.

“I’ll go get them, your Majesty!”

“Don’t just stand there. Hurry along then! Before I chop all of your heads off.”

Heinrich had never walked so fast out of a room his entire life. His heart was pounding as it began to dawn on him that he had just lied to the King. Well, it was not exactly a lie. He was going to get them. They just weren’t here yet. Unfortunately, none of that mattered. There was no reasoning with such a powerful man. All he could do was hope that he would still be alive to see another day.

Just when all of his luck appeared to have run out, he heard the distinct sound of hooves against cobble and rushed outside.

Friedrich helped you out of the carriage, still engaged in the never-ending tales of Fifi the Ferocious. You were laughing when you caught sight of the magnificent Royal Palace-Berliner Schloss. It was much boxier than Sanssouci Schloss with towering walls that casted a great shadow over the front lawn.

Household staff lined the steps on either side, straightening up as Heinrich dashed past them. Some had their heads turned, the younger ones especially, their curious eyes on you, trying to catch a glimpse of the new Princess. The more seasoned staff near the top stayed perfectly still, resisting the urge to look anywhere other than straight ahead.

“Your Highnesses!” He said, bowing so quickly you were worried his head might snap off. “Your presences are requested. Immediately!”

...

Through the doors you could faintly hear your titles being announced. Your palms were clammy so you hid it behind you, focusing on what you might say in a couple of moments.

Friedrich was not nervous, of course.

He was the one who planned the detour in the first place. And while you had enjoyed the time with Frederica very much, perhaps a little too much, it had delayed your schedule by well over a couple of hours. It meant that you made the King of Prussia, your father-in-law wait.

The only person more nervous than you was probably Heinrich. Every time you caught a glimpse of his face, he seemed more haggard than the last. You were not certain whether he was really sick or just worried.

"My father will say things. Things that are aimed to test you. Do not mind any of it," Friedrich said quietly.

"Something tells me I should take that as a suggestion. One look at Heinrich and I know what I am in for."

Friedrich sneaked a glance at his valet and gave you a small smile. "Heinrich has always been that way. Worries a little too much."

"Maybe that is for good reason-"

The trumpets sounded, prompting you to straighten up, smooth your dress and put on a smile. In the corner of your eyes, you could see Friedrich cracking up. Had it not been for the fact that you were being presented right then, you would have given him a slipper to the chest. He was still smiling up until you had to walk through the doors.

Then, his demeanor shifted completely. You did not dare to make eye contact with the King. All you saw was brief glimpses of a man, wearing a red cloak on the throne. But Friedrich, he was looking straight down the room, challenging his father.

From the stories he had told you, you knew that Friedrich had a rough relationship with his father. Once he got a chance to break away, he vowed he would allow his father to have full control of his life again. And from the suffocating tension in the air, you knew his father would not make it easy.

“The Prince and Princess of Prussia, your Majesty,” a footman announced.

"Your Majesty," you said, giving the King a curtsy.

"Welcome, welcome. I hope the journey was not too rough for you.”

You smiled and nodded. Not a bad start.

However, it was a completely different story when you saw Friedrich’s face. He raised his eyebrows, clearly unconvinced by his father’s concern. "You do, father? Wasn’t it on your orders that the state train never arrived?”

“Now, now, Friedrich. That was none of my doing.” The King turned to you with a small smile. “I must say, you are much prettier than I expected, my lady.”

He had made such an effort to emphasize the last two words that even if you weren’t listening, you still would have caught them. The King was smirking on his throne, his icy eyes sending chills down your back.

“I believe it’s your Highness, father.”

This row was your fault. You could tell.

“No, I don’t think it is. You didn’t get married.”

“We did.”

“That did not count.”

“How? Because you weren’t invited?”

“I see all of your manners have gone out the door since you stepped foot out of this country.”

Friedrich wanted to scoff. It was always going to be about England. If they were going to have this conversation, he was going to do it properly. But not in front of you.

He turned to Heinrich. “Take the Princess to see the chambers.”

You didn’t want to leave. You were responsible for this in one way or another. You should be here to take the blame. But Friedrich shook his head like he knew what you were about to say. “Come with Heinrich. I’ll meet you later.”

“No need for that. Lady Brandt, your chief lady-in-waiting, will take you for a tour. Bernadine?”

You remembered Lea and Ilse mentioning her as well. However, at that time, she didn’t have a name or a face for you to attach her to just yet. You just knew that she was going to be in charge of all of your affairs like Heinrich was doing for Friedrich. Now she had a name and a face.

At the mention of her name, she nodded and stepped forward from the line of staff on your right. She was dressed in a blood red dress, a strand of pearls wrapped around her long neck. She came towards you, giving you an impressive curtsy, tipping her head forward slowly yet keeping her hat perfectly still on her dark raven hair.

When she looked up, you were finally able to see her striking hollow eyes, tall cheekbones and an ever so slightly upturned corner of her lips. She looked awfully familiar. Like a much younger version of your mother actually. And she was just as terrifying.

“Come with me, your Highness.”

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[opheliasbrokenmind]

heartbreaker - tommy shelby

hiiii, i’m back on my obsession with this man... i was going to write something short but then i couldn’t control myself and this happened. let me know your thoughts, feedback is always welcomed <3 

and idk what kind of writing is this, since i find it hard & scary to write a full one shot but i know this isn’t a hc or drabble as well, i only hope you enjoy it :)) and i’m free for three weeks and i’m waiting for your tommy requests as always

gif is not mine, credits to the owner

being the most reckless teenage girl in small heath, it wasn’t a surprise you hung out with the blue-eyed princess, ada shelby

it all started when you were barely ten, going to the same school

soon you were sharing a desk and tons of laughs

even the teachers failed to make you silent. if they tried to separate you two, you’d cause a huge mess in the classroom

spending time at shelbys after a long school day, chatting all afternoon in her room, ada complaining about her brothers and you giggling at her words

one day you laid your hands on a book and it was it, you were telling stories to ada all day long

you started talking about how small the small heath really was, a tiny world which you decided to leave the first chance you got

then you were fifteen, a young soul with wildness, searching for every kind of trouble possible 

ada on your arm, going on dates with boys you knew from school, sneaking out all the time

but ada wasn’t the same, thanks to her overprotective brothers. they believed you were a bad influence for her but your souls were bonded

and that never stopped john from taking you out a night, getting you a drink and kissing your lips 

you weren’t looking for a strong relationship and neither did he so it was just a few days and a few more kisses, none of the family members knowing it - or you both thought that

you were hanging out with a boy for a few months, then you were over it in a day. next week, you were going to pictures with another guy, laughing and enjoying your life

ada insisted you spent many nights with her, you girls talking about everything and by the time you were seventeen, you thought her older brother tommy looked quite good

one night you woke up, walking downstairs to have a glass of water and there he was, sipping tea in the middle of the night

‘what are you doing, tom?’ you asked, your eyes still trying to adjust to the light as you frowned, wondering if something was wrong

‘i’m thinking. care to join me for a cup of tea?’ he suggested and well, who were you to say no?

you took the chair next to him and watched him bringing you a cup and pouring you hot tea. the view seemed and felt too regular to you, you’ve seen him doing the same for his siblings for thousand times

just before you reached for the sugar, he leaned forward and put the exact amount of sugar you used. you didn’t say anything as he looked at you, you watched his fingers holding the hot cup, knuckles almost white

‘what are you thinking?’ you asked shyly, you weren’t so close with him unlike other shelbys. john was a friend, arthur was like a brother but tommy? you didn’t know what was he to you

he was the brother who tried to keep ada on the line and you were the distracter. the young, reckless friend filled with passion for everything. you were excited about books, boys and anything life had to offer you

‘the war, the soldiers’ he said like he was talking about the weather

‘what? you’re not thinking about going there, are you?’ you frowned immediately, leaning in to look directly into his eyes

‘i don’t know, feels like i should be there like the other boys’ he said the truth and you grabbed his wrist, an annoyed look plastered on your face ‘are you serious? don’t act like a fool, tom’

his name sounded harsh on your lips, like the times he spotted you and ada at the pub, taking you back home as you resisted. even though he was seven years older than you, you were never afraid to say his name as you wished

‘do you think it’s a joke, y/n?’ he asked, his blue orbs focused on you, ignoring your glued fingers on his arm

‘your family needs you here, not in a shithole in france. you’ll go there and what? that’ll prove something to the people? or you’ll end up as a man with no grave? leaving these people here just with pain?’ you hissed, glaring at him as you let go of his arm

‘you speak like i don’t care about them. i want to protect this country so they’ll be safe’ he explained calmly

‘you can’t leave them’ you said but it came out as a whisper, you almost said ‘us’ instead of ‘them’. tommy watched you staring at the tea and he tried to guess what was going on inside your head

‘as if you like me, y/n’ he faked a smile in an attempt to cheer you a bit but it only made you angrier, ‘fuck you, tom’ you hoped he didn’t see the blush rising to your cheeks and turned your head away from him

‘that’s not what you’ve said to john, huh?’ he couldn’t control the words so when you heard him, your lips parted with surprise. ‘i don’t have to defend myself to you, that was two years ago’

‘i saw you two, then you broke his heart’ he let it out and you didn’t know what to say, ‘it wasn’t something serious and that was before martha, he looks very happy now’

‘that’s just what you do, right? breaking hearts and moving on’ his words caught you off guard and you thought he was trying to change the war subject. if he wanted to argue, you were up for it

‘it’s not my problem if boys are that fragile. maybe they should, you know, grow up’ you said simply, waiting for another smart answer

‘grow up and what, break your heart?’ he asked back and you found yourself smiling, ‘oh, no. i’m the heartbreaker here. they should look for a girl who’ll marry them and stand them’

‘wise words for a little girl’ he said as he smiled, a real one this time. ‘little girl? i’m almost eighteen and i remember, your girlfriend isn’t too older than me’ with the mention of greta, his smile fell off and you could tell something was wrong

‘what’s wrong, is she okay?’ you asked and waited impatiently for an answer. ‘she’s sick, i-’ he stopped and shook his head slowly, ‘i don’t know what to do, she’s not getting better, just worse and.. her parents don’t let me see her’

‘i’m so sorry’ you managed to say and when he looked at you, he knew you meant it. ‘why didn’t you tell....’ you were going to ask if the other shelbys knew but it sounded ridiculous in your head

‘i don’t know how to. whatever, i shouldn’t have told you, too’

‘you know, i’m not your enemy. yet it looks like you’re searching for more, huh?’ he was thinking of an answer but you weren’t waiting for one, you got up and walked to the stairs, leaving him with his thoughts

that was the last time tommy saw you, you disappeared for the next days and soon he found out from ada, your aunt passed away and you moved to london with your mom

unlike her shy, sweet sister greta, kitty jurossi was outgoing and she happened to be a friend of a friend of yours. before you left for london, you managed to persuade your mother to go and speak to her family

with that, tommy shelby was allowed to stand by his first love and hold her hand for three months until she closed her eyes and never opened them again

days after her funeral, he’d learn the reason why her parents let him stay with her. then he signed up for war, leaving without looking back. in the end, there was nothing for him to stay

meanwhile, you were discovering the london, meeting with new people and trying not to think of small heath. of course, you were missing your best friend but ada and you both knew you’d escape the small town with the first chance you got

ada’s response to your letter arrived months later, letting you know greta was dead and the shelby men were in france, fighting for the king

it made you sick for days, unfamiliar nausea bothering you all day, making your whole body ache. you were worried for the shelby men you grew up with and for the women waiting for their family

the war continued mercilessly and at some point you even thought about writing the boys a letter but you didn’t know what to say after leaving them without a word

then it was all over. ada wrote to you, telling you they all returned yet everything was different now. the way tommy turned and the lack of sincerity in john’s smiles. he used to laugh, you thought

you were living on your own in london when you got another letter from ada, it was bad news. apparently freddie was dead, which made you cry on the carpet on your hallway, remembering the boy ada used to talk about years ago. ‘now it’s just me and karl, y/n. i’m leaving this hell, probably coming to london’

but she forgot to give you a new address and you never dared to write to shelbys, asking about ada. you guessed they didn’t hear from her as well, since she left with a broken heart and rage

one day you couldn’t find a book at the bookshop so you made your way to the library, looking for a worker to help you. there she was, the best friend you ever had

‘ada?’ you asked and it was it, you were reunited. spending days talking about everything that happened after you left with lots of hugs, glasses of wine and cups of tea

you started to spend most of the week at her house and of course, karl loved you. it was as if you never parted away, you were happy again

she learned you were continuing your career as a heartbreaker with londoners. ‘heartbreaker, huh? is there anyone nowadays, y/n sweetheart?’

‘oh no, i used to hang around with a writer. he was saying i was his muse all the time and you know, it’s nice to hear things like that. then he left the fucking country, saying he wasn’t productive with all the noise in the city’

‘someone sounds angry’ she teased and you laughed, ‘i was but i don’t care much. i mean, i couldn’t leave here and move to the countryside, raising chickens. i need the wildness in this crazy city’

soon you were going to the parties together, good looking men and booze surrounding you all the time

it was your birthday when you went to have dinner at a nice restaurant, then met with your other friends in a nightclub

you would say both of you could handle your drinks but when it was almost midnight, you thought ‘fuck it, we can mess for once’ then the rest of it was a little bit blurry

you could remember the girls dropping you to ada’s flat and ada going to her room. you lit a cigarette and once it was finished, you thought how soft was the carpet at the living room. even it was an uncomfortable surface, you slept like a baby

that’s why you didn’t hear the knock on the door. then with a little force, it opened. thomas shelby walked in, cursing underneath his breath 

he stepped in and saw a body laying on the ground, a woman, wearing a short silk dress and tommy walked to her with fear, his heartbeat quickening

then he realised it was you, after all those years. you were breathing, thank god. so he gently shook you, ‘y/n’ your name sounded like a pray on his lips

you sighed and opened your eyes slowly, only to see a man kneeling beside you and that man happened to have a face of a ghost from your past, tommy shelby himself

‘tom?’ you asked and you thought it didn’t feel real. ‘i’m still that drunk, huh?’ you chuckled softly but when you looked again, he was still there

‘it’s not a dream, y/n. i’m here and i see, you haven’t changed, not even a bit’ he sounded kinda angry, frustrated because the state he found you in

you frowned and watched him, ‘and here i was, thinking i got prettier’ he rolled his eyes but soon enough you were both smiling

‘you are’ he let it out and you stared at him, ‘that means i wasn’t pretty back then?’ this time his smile was wider, ‘i didn’t say that’ it was surprising you both, you were talking like you weren’t strangers now

it was weird yet comforting, familiar just like the last time you spoke, years ago. you could see he was a man now, a beautiful one with hands covered with blood you couldn’t see

and there you were, he thought. still a heartbreaker with an angel’s face

[jae-daddy]

Play (2)

im jaebum mini series ft. jinyoung

one / two / three / four / five / six (final)  masterlist

pairing: jaebum x reader x jinyoung  genre: friends, angst, jealousy  plot: you and jaebum have been really great friends. things have been going smoothly because neither of you were in a real relationship, flings? sure, but girlfriends/boyfriends? no. so when Jaebum starts going out with Emma (a bitch), you can’t help but act out <3 a/n: I'm contemplating making this a jinyoung fic lol. hope y’all enjoy. thanks for all the love and support <3

Normally, people have a grand gesture or a classic tale of how they gained their best friend. You knew this because people love the tales of first meets. They love flaunting that badge of “we connected right away” or “I hated you at first, but now I can’t imagine life without you” bullshit and of the titles they give each other.

Okay, so that was a little hypocritical.

You had called Jaebum your best friend, but technically, you had thought it. Thinking it in your head shouldn't count, saying it out loud, on the other hand, should since it's disgustingly cringe.

But it was a fact, he was your best friend. However, there was no interesting story of your first meet or the moment you became friends. It just happened.

One day you went to a party, Jaebum was a friend of a friend. You met again at other parties, exchanged socials. You posted a picture of your now-dead dog, Jaebum replies saying “cute dog, but cats are better.”

You met up for drinks, talked, had fun.

And there, you both were now best friends.

You hated it when people asked for stories. You can’t remember the first moment you met everyone. There is no way anyone could ever possibly walk into a room, look at a random good-looking guy and be like-

“Yup, that’s the one, there’s the man of my dreams,” Emma swooned as she squeezed Jaebum’s hand on the dinner table lovingly. Jaebum glanced at her offering her a smile. His eyes met yours but didn’t stay because he could read your face, and just know that you were having none of this love at first sight bullshit.

“Jaebum told me that he felt the same way when he looked at me too,” Emma added, haughty. Her blue eyes gawked at you, smugly, showing off this apparent love of the century.

You bit your lip to stop the laugh threatening to come out. You turned your gaze away from her to Jaebum who looked away as soon as his eyes met yours. A small chuckle left you, “Did he?”

Sweet Jesus, he was such a fucking liar. The party they met, he was trying to hook up with Sarah from France. He’d only ended up with Emma because Sarah had chosen Jackson over him.

Love at first sight, sure.

“Oh that’s lovely,” the male beside you said. You turned to him, your lips in a thin smile as you gave him the eye.

“I thought I said no talking,” you leaned, whispering into his ears with a smile.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” he chuckled back, pecking your lips.

Ew. PDA.

“You’re so funny,” he smiled at you.

Dickdown 9/10 really needs to stop acting like he is your man. This is not a real date. You had told him that when you told him to come and eat with your friends. You were careful not to use the word ‘date’ and had reminded him all through the car ride.

But it seemed like playing boyfriend was his dream.

“Aww,” the evil witch cooed from the other side of the table. She looked over at Jaebum, who glanced straight across at you. “Aren’t they just adorable babe?”

Jaebum gave her halfhearted snort-smile combo, but Emma ignored him and continued. She looked at Dickdown 9/10 sitting directly across from her and asked, “So how did you both meet?”

“We’re just hooking up,” you cut him off before he could begin. “You asked me to bring someone because apparently seeing me coming here by myself makes you feel so sad. So I have bought someone, a friend-”

“We fuck,” Dickdown objected from beside you.

“A friend who I fuck,” you added, shrugging still looking at her. “Don’t make this more than this is.”

You gave her a beautiful smile.

Bitch.

She smiled, reflecting the same energy back.

“I hope you find a love divine as Jaebum and I did,” she smiled at you.

“I hope I fall in love with a random hook up one day, too,” you smiled back. You held up the beer in your hand, “For falling in love with trivial one night stands.”

“To finding love,” Jaebum gave you a stern look, as he lifted his glass. He turned to Emma placing a kiss on her forehead. “Wherever destiny takes you.”

“Oh baby,” she cooed, and you almost threw up in your mouth.

“I liked your toast better,” Dickdown smiled at you, and you saw the image of riding him on top the table flash through your mind.

“You are getting your dick sucked tonight,” you told him through your eyes. You didn’t know if he got the message, but the promise was already made.

Jaebum chortled from across the table. You turned around to face him, quirking your eyebrows at him. Jaebum just snorted as he shook his head.

“See that was fun, wasn’t it?” Jaebum jeered as you stood outside the bar waiting for Dickdown 9/10 to come back with his car. He was being responsible and did not drink; a true gentleman.

“Yeah, so fun! I am absolutely devastated the night has come to an end,” you pouted at him, making him roll his eyes. You shook your head as you faced the front.

“This is going to be the rest of your foreseeable future, you know,” you told him, as you turned to look at him. He stared at you, intently, but you didn't look away. Instead, you peered into his eyes, trying to tell him to snap out of it. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yes, I am okay.” He grinned at you, as your face dropped, disappointed.

You were hoping that would scare him, but he didn’t mind this dull life.

“This is what your fun night looks like now, and statistically, it will only get worse, unless you bring in a third party for fun.”

“Are you volunteering?”

“Make it just us two and I’ll make it the perfect fun night.” You smirked back. Your breath quickened as his brooding brown eyes dropped down to your lips. You licked it instinctively.

Jaebum’s eyes met yours, flickering down to your lips once more before he smiled, rolling his eyes as he looked away, “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” You smiled, innocently. You knew exactly what you were doing, but you didn’t care.

“Stop flirting with me.”

“Such accusations,” you gasped.

You winked.

“My god, you’re such a flirt,” Jaebum laughed, looking out to the road. “This is why Emma worries when we are together. She just doesn’t get that this is a joke.”

What joke? You mean it.

Kinda.

“Emma would be jealous of a coconut tree if you stood too close to it, Jae,” you retorted, making him give you a pointed look. “That girl is loco.”

“You think too badly of her,” he smiled, nudging his shoulder against yours. “Once you get to know her, she’s not bad. You would like her.”

“I’m sure if people spent enough time with anyone, they’d start to like them. It’s probably a minute form of Stockholm syndrome,” you shrugged at him, facing the front. You noticed as Dickdown 9/10 bought the car around. “You couldn’t get away from her, so you decided to like her.”

“You’re crazy,” Jaebum told you, a smile on his lips. He watched as you walked away from him, towards the car. He followed a few steps behind you, “This guy seems like a dick. Who the fuck doesn’t drink at bars?”

“A responsible dick who has to drive me home, and will be rewarded with very nice dominated sexual acts,” you laughed when Jaebum grimaced. “Yeah, he’s a bit of a wanker, but he isn’t too bad.”

“What’s his name?” Jaebum asked. The car stopped a few feet away from you, you turned to face Jaebum with wide eyes. When you didn’t reply he smirked, “You don’t know his name.”

“I do,” you argued.

Fucking shit, you didn’t. He was Dickdown 9/10.

You cursed yourself, you should’ve listened when he introduced himself when you both walked in.

“He’s just a friend, Jae,” you drolled, giving him a shrug.

“I’m just a friend and you know my name.”

“But that’s cause I love you my pumpkin pie,” you gave him mocking smile, as you brought your hand to your heart. “Now, bye.”

“Text me when you get home,” he called out as you opened the passenger seat.

“You too!” You stuck out the window and waved him bye.

“They were nice,” Dickdown 9/10 said as he drove away. You turned over to him, a small smile on your lips.

You reached over undoing his pants.

“And you were a good boy tonight,” you leaned over, kissing his neck, “such a good boy.”

You leaned down, wetting your lips before it wrapped around his cock.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

//

Was this a bad thing that bad people normal did? Definitely.

You knew that you didn’t need another person’s advice or a search on Google to know that this was a bad idea. Out there in the world of other judging people, you would be called a home-wrecker, a whore or something along those lines of insults.

You would have been affected by those words if you were say, five years younger. But when they were the actual and honest truth, why not take it with grace.

It wasn’t like you were actually going to try to break Jaebum and his lovely bitch of a girlfriend Emma up. You were just going to like him and wait for them to break up, which they will inevitably for sure.

Until then, you just need to relax and chill.

And that started with getting rid of the arm wrapped around your waist so early in the morning.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror as you lay there with his front pressed against your back.

You should’ve gotten rid of him last night.

But he was so good at dinner, you felt bad telling him to go after he did that and lived up to his nickname, so you let him stay.

Still, it was time to wish him bon voyage.

But you had too. You couldn’t do relationships.

It’s better to end it now before he starts to think this is more.

“Next time just find someone on Tinder,” you thought to yourself as you glared at your reflection. At least if it is a stranger on Tinder you wouldn’t be losing the best dick you got after dinner with your friends. But it was time for all good things to end.

You removed his arms off you and sat up on your bed staring at him. He stirred a bit at first, and then went back to sleep.

You sighed, getting up from your bed. You grabbed a t-shirt lying around that ended on your mid-thigh. You looked around for something, and decided to open the curtains was the most annoying thing you could.

“What?” he groaned, his voice all sexy and sleepy. You turned around with the light streaming in from behind you. It was a wonderful sunny day, and his voice was making you want to get back in there and have good and deserving good-bye sex.

But you stood your ground and folded your arms across your chest, “Time to leave, bud.”

“Wow, no good morning,” he moaned, but got up nonetheless. You grabbed his clothes and handed them to him.

“Thank you for the wonderful times, you were amazing.”

“This sounds like a goodbye,” he snorted putting his shirt over his head.

You looked at him with a sad smile, “This is goodbye, forever.”

“Woah,” he frowned as you gave him his wallet and car keys.

“I think it’s only fair for you to know,” you gave him a supportive smile, “You were a solid nine out of ten. A true gifts from Heaven.”

“Why not a ten?” He asked, and you frowned thinking about it.

“You were great, so I don’t think the missing point is your fault,” you bit your lip contemplating.

“Maybe its cause you’re dead inside?” He smiled like he had done something.

You nodded, agreeing, “That’s probably it. Your dick is missing that one point because it couldn’t bring me back to live.”

“Well,” you kissed his cheek and pushed him out of your room. “Bye-bye.”

You closed your door and patted your back, “That wasn’t bad. That was very good.”

//

“Where’s your boy toy?” Jaebum asked as he paid the cashier for his coffee.

You frowned, “You’re making me sound like a cougar.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Definitely not, that is goals. But I am still in my twenties. If I was a cougar at this age, that would be illegal.” You told him before turning to the barrister to place your order.

“Hi, how may I help you?” The perky girl said, not looking up from the screen.

“A caramel Frappuccino,” you sang, rolling your tongue.

“God, you’re embarrassing.” Jaebum sighed from beside you.

“Hey-”

“That’ll be 7.50,” she pointed to the EFTPOS machine. You placed your card on it waiting for the beep. You looked up at the girl, getting the receipt, “Thank you.”

“How come you wanted to hang?” You asked Jaebum as you settled on a table towards the back of the cafe.

“Can't I just casually want to have a chat with you?”

“We’ve met three times already this week,” you rolled your eyes at his pout. “And asking me for coffee? That’s a bit formal.”

“Well, it is formal business,” Jaebum placed his intertwined fingers on the table with a proud smile. “I wanted to formally tell you that my book has been approved for a second viewing.”

“Oh my god!” You gasped, your eyes widening. You froze for a second, before chuckling, tears in your eyes. “Oh my god, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you. You worked so hard. Oh my gosh-”

“I know,” he clasped your hand in his. He looked into your eyes, his eyes glistening as he gave you a sincere smile. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“All I did was get you drunk,” you breathed, chuckling as you wiped your eyes before the tears ran free.

You were not going to cry in a cafe, no matter how fucking happy you were.

Jaebum just laughed, throwing his head back. He sobered and started explaining how he got told the notified, and what changes they wanted to make to the book.

“They want to change Persephone?” You frowned, she was your favourite.

“They said something about Greek mythology-”

“Duh.”

“And something about it being impressionable to young readers,” he bit his lips.

Before you could say anything, the waitress came with two cups and a piece of chocolate cake. You looked at her, managing to give her a tight smile, “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Jaebum smiled at her, before looking at you. He stared at your frowning face and passed you a spoon. “Here.”

You took it off him and took a bite of the cake.

“I’m not going to let them,” he said after a moment.

You looked up, staring into his eyes as he looked at you with a knowing smile.

“I’ll go to another publisher if I have to, they can’t take her away.”

“Jae,” you sighed, moved by his words. Persephone was your character; the one you had helped build. She was like your child and fictional form at once. “You just saying that is enough. You don’t have to for me-”

“She was is my favourite, y/n,” he held your gaze, and your heart swelled. “It won’t be the same without her. I can’t.”

“It’ll work out,” you patted his hand. You spooned a piece of cake and held it to him. He took the bite, licking his lip as he leaned back into his seat.

“I hope so,” his eyes darted to the doors. He held up a hand as if to grab someone’s attention. You turned to find a very attractive male walking in. Jaebum continued from behind you, “That’s why I invited the editor for a meeting.”

You turned to Jaebum, wide-eyed, “What?!”

“Smile, he’s here.” Jaebum gave you a knowing look. “You helped build her, maybe your views and ideas would persuade him.”

“Hey, Jaebum,” the good-looking editor held out his hand. Jaebum got up shaking it.

“Mr Park,” Jaebum smiled politely.

“Jinyoung is fine,” he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

He was cute.

“This is y/n,” Jaebum gestured towards you. You just smiled, not sure if you should get up too. Jinyoung smiled, nodding, as he seated at the end of the four-sided table. “Have you ordered?”

“Yup, just as I walked in,” his voice was deep and soothing. “Do you want to talk around or get straight down to it?”

“Straight to it,” Jaebum snorted, both of them relaxing into their seats. The waitress placed the drink in front of Jinyoung, a blush blooming on her cheeks as he thanked her with a sweet smile.

You just sat back and watched him.

“I heard you have a problem with my suggestions?” He pulled out a few papers from his suitcase.

What a cunt carrying a suitcase, pretty handsome though.

“Well, that’s only because you want to get rid of arguably the most important character,” Jaebum laughed, but his tone tight.

One hour, a whole hour of going back and forth. You spent a good ten minute on a monologue of exactly why Persephone was a good character, and a great role model for young readers; especially girls.

“But would parents be comfortable with letting their kids read about a female-”

“Who fights, swears and chooses her sexual partners?” You cut him off raising an eyebrow at him. Jinyoung smiled at you, arrogantly, like what you were saying was of no value. “How are her actions any different to the male main character? Xavier does the same if not worse.”

“But parents, Miss-”

“Y/n is fine,” you smiled and continued. “Don’t be a pussy, Jinyoung. Parents don’t read books before giving them to their kids. And this is young adult, not primary school kids.”

You saw Jaebum still as he licked his lips, holding back a smile.

“Parents follow reviews,” Jinyoung’s smile grew as he leaned towards you, “Good parents do, at least.”

Red. You saw red.

“How about a compromise?” Jaebum said, making you both turn towards him. “Persephone stays, but only two partners; the rest stays the same.”

“I could convince the Board with that,” Jinyoung nodded, he glanced at you his lips quirking up. “Feminism sexuality isn’t defined by the number of people someone can sleep with. It’s about owning it. A smaller number but the same attitude will still get the same message across.”

You didn’t say anything.

What he said did make sense.

Shitty cunthead.

not edited

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit ��� plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[swiftie-miraculer13]

Last Day In Heaven Pt.5

-First-. -Previous-. -Next-

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Then Marinette told Kagami and Luka whom she got pretty close recently of her plan and asked them to come with her to the party. They already knew she was MDC . They accepted and helped her collect more evidence against Lila. On patrol that night Ladybug told Ryuuko and Viperion that they could catch Gabriel on action at that party and that they should keep an eye on him and record if they saw anything suspicious as evidence against him. It didn't take long for the duo to realize who the other was. So now Kagami and Luka knew the other was a hero too. When they asked how did she knew they would be at the party she said she kind of knew Marinette and couldn't tell much because of secret identities and closed the subject.

The following days almost all Marinette did was working on the dresses and thinking about her plan. She thought of all the things that could go wrong and made a plan for every one of them. Nothing could stop her from getting her revenge.

.......

Her own dress was named "Karma". It was symbolizing how despite all the dark, nasty rumors around her she was actually a pure white. But if it meant the real dark, nasty ones would be exposed she could lose some of her innocence, add some gray to her pure white while doing karma's job, making sure they got what they deserved. And who knows maybe it would benefit her. Save her from being too naive, getting used. Being completely white only ended up hurting her after all.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

When her MDC original dress arrived she quickly opened it and took a look at the dress. She would prefer fancier dresses but even if it was a little simple for Lila's taste it was still elegant and still and MDC original. That alone was enough to make everybody look her way. There was some chinese words on it's sleeves but she didn't bother search what it meant, or was it japanese? Honestly she didn't know and didn't care. She took a pic of the box the dress came in and posted it on social media with the caption "Thanks for the dress @mdc. So excited to wear it at the party!" She wouldn't show anyone her dress untill the party-not even Adrien- she wanted to surprise them.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

The night before the party MDC posted these lines on her social media;

It'll be the last day in heaven

When karma'll come to bite

You think they'll survive it?

No, they will not.

Everybody was confused to say the least but they would learn what it meant soon.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

When the day of the party came all of France was excited and was waiting for MDC to reveal her identity. The party would be on live while the guests made their speech so everyone else would learn of her identity at the same time as the party guests.

When it was finally the time, MDC stepped out of a limousine with her two friends by her sides. Masks on all of their faces. Marinette normally would get nervous from all the eyes on her but right now she was in her Ladybug persona, locked to her target, determined to take the villian down. She was one of the last ones to arrive. Not too early and not late enough to be actually late, just in time to make an appareance. So she didn't get to chat with too many people before she was called to stage for her speech. She walked to the stage with a cold expression, with ice in her eyes. But Lila didn't seem to recognize that as she stepped aside so she could be in front of the mike with an excited smile on her face.

She plastered a fake smile on her face and started her speech "We all are here to congortulate the lovely couple but first I have a present for them." Just then a video started playing behind her. Lila turned her back to the crowd to take a good look at it. Then all of Lila's lies from her Ladyblog interviews started playing with the mentioned celebrity denying ever meeting her. All the color drained from Lila's face as she realized what it was. She wanted to scream, stop the video, break the screen. But she couldn't, she couldn't even move. It was like she was frozen in place. And as her lies were being exposed one by one some symbols started to show up on the trail of her dress in the dark. They almost looked like...flames?!

Gabriel feeling the intense negative emotions from the crowd, tried to sneak away and trasform. But was noticed by Luka who was watching him the whole time. He followed him and recorded how he was sneaking from the crowd when he got in the man's restroom he followed catious not to make a sound. He was still recording when he said "Noroo , dark wings ri-" and couldn't finish as he knocked on the door. He said "Occupied" . And decided to wait untill the person was out of there to transform. But they took longer than expected. Luka already sent the recording. And the police would be here in any minute like they agreed to before the party. Gabriel waited a little more but when the other person still didn't get out yet he decided to get out and find somewhere else to transform.

__________________________________________________

Guys I won't be active for a week or so cause I won't have internet connection. I don't want to leave the story like that when it's so close to the ending but I don't have any choice. It's just a week, not a long time but I still feel bad because updates were used to be so fast and after all that leaving it for a whole week.. I don't know, just sorry again 😔

tag list @aestheticnpoetic @i-have-problems315 @kuroko26 @user00000003 @a-star-with-a-human-name @artorbust @mochinek0 @sassakitty @multi-fandom-freak0221 @ur-average-reader @lavenderchaitea @joejosyxd @michaelshadow7779 @goblinwhoships @bluerosejuliet @lilithseraphina @hauntedwintersweets @littleblue5mcdork @marinettepotterandplagg @nik-nak-3 @smolplantmum @genderfluidmoma @elmokingkong @gimme-more-caffeine @abrx2002 @talutah0 @yeet-this-bitch @clumsy-owl-4178 @wannajointhecrabcult @dnsakina @silvergold-swirl @pale-lady-dreamer @iwritelikeimrunningoutoftime @lavenderjunes @thecaptainthunder @niftyshiftyminty @plz-excuse-my-inner-ravenclaw

[joontier]

Ramen Rivals

synopsis: Rivals in the kitchen, rivals even with ramen -  two rivaling restaurateurs fight over the only cup of instant noodles left in the convenience store

pairings: kim seokjin x reader (oneshot)

rating:  R | genre: classic e2l trope; gourmet chef! seokjin and reader ; smut; humor; fluff ; crack | warnings: swearing, explicit sex, kitchen sex, implied bathroom sex, multiple orgasms

word count: 12k RIP MY BRAIN

a/n: Ahhhh, his is actually a re-written version of one i posted way way back 2018 LOOOL idk what to feel anymore after this akfaowiejfoawe the last parts are actually heavily unedited ACK 

navi. 

Kim Seokjin. 

That’s it. That’s the name. That’s the tweet. 

You never knew three syllables could affect you this much, could bring you this great distress. The mere mention of it makes you reel, roll your eyes, ball up your fists, makes the tiny hairs on your nape stand on end. 

Long story short, Kim Seokjin makes your blood boil. 

It doesn’t help either that he was Adonis himself – complete with cat eyes, plump lips, and a dashing smile, or that he has rock-hard abs hiding underneath that white double-breasted jacket, or that he busts out corny ass dad jokes as much as he winks at people (which is a LOT of times, by the way), or that he’s an undeniably an exceptional chef (such as yourself, duh) and has now erected a gourmet restaurant next door to rival yours, OR the completely obvious fact that you two have history. 

The short period of time in the past that you shared with him wasn’t exactly one you would be embarrassed of, or something you want to forget. Instead, it’s the exact opposite. You’re ashamed of the fact that you hadn’t gotten over it until now, three years later. He was your OGF – Mr. One Great Fuck. Kim Seokjin still holds the belt for the title of making you cum six consecutive times in a single night. How he managed to do that and how nobody else has measured up to that, you’ll never know. 

You’d initially met him at Les Coulisses Du Chef in Paris, where you had enrolled yourself in a patisserie class to expand your knowledge on French pastry and hopefully get a certificate for it. You’d been meaning to take the class since forever, yet you’d been waitlisted year after year until last year when one of the applicants had backed out, they’d called you in, merely half a month before the program started. 

Three weeks into the semester, Seokjin had introduced himself to you, or rather, had told you a dad joke as an introductory preview of his personality. You’re glad he did though, else you would have been surprised if you discovered the kid was part Greek god, part chef, part dad jokes, and .01% brain cell. 

“What do you call a fake noodle?” asks .01% brain-cell-man seated beside you, rolling up his sleeves to reveal the prominent veins on his forearms. You’re momentarily distracted by the action, completely missing out the question he’d just asked you. “Sorry, what?” 

“What do you call a fake noodle?” Gosh, you shouldn’t have asked him again. If only he knew the number of times you’d hear- “Impasta!” He snorts, holding a fettuccine noodle in one hand and the other clutching onto his tummy as he doubles in his laughter. 

You’re just standing beside him, slack-jawed, unsure if this was just a sick dare. Who was this guy? Was he even in the same class as you? Was he high? Perhaps he mistook flour for coke? His laughter dies down when he sees your face, sans-reaction. 

“Wait, you understand English right? Um… comprendre English? Oui?” 

“Yes, I can understand English.” 

“Then why didn’t you laugh?” You raise a brow. This stranger just comes up to you, tells you a lame joke, and now he expects you to laugh? 

“This is gonna sound real mean, but it was really an old joke...and a lame one at that,” you retort, your face crumpled into one of faux pity. 

“Hey! No need to make it personal!” he counters, placing a hand over his heart, face contorting into a grimace. “You, Rafa!” He half-shouts, pointing an accusatory finger to someone behind you. “You said it would be a great ice-breaker!” Your eyes follow the Rafa he’s pointing at, the latter quickly shakes his head, telling you he doesn’t know the man in French. 

“Is this man bothering you?” Rafa nods sadly. 

“What?! How dare you turn the tables on me?? I���m your only friend!” You turn to glare at pasta guy, who continues to wail behind you. Rafa snorts from across at the sight of pasta guy making a fool of himself behind you and eventually takes pity on him. 

“I’m sorry, Jin’s just been meaning to talk to your since the start of semester, so he’s asked me for advice on how to approach you...I told him to tell you a good ‘ole joke in the kitchen since we’re all chefs here...I didn’t actually think he’d take it...seriously.”

“Wow! Betraying and exposing me all at once!! Why won’t you just fry me alive in olive oil, huh? That would be less painful.” Jin-pasta complains, arms gesticulating wildly in the air. You watch them unabashedly bicker in front of you concurrently amused at the whole spectacle. 

The three of you become close friends soon thereafter, Jin claiming your trio as the ‘Kitchen Musketeers’. Yes, he managed to convince the entire class to call your tiny group of friends that name. And yes, that wasn’t the worst idea Seokjin had in mind when he was considering a name for your trio. You didn't even want to start to reminisce about the rest of Seokjin’s bizarre suggestions: Charlie’s Cooks (to his defense, you did have a substitute mentor named Charlie), Gourmetbusters, Pecanpuff Girls, The Three Sausagees (more like two sausages and one bun). You’ve always cringed at the last one.

Despite your trio’s antics, Rafa considers himself the third wheel more than anything. Rafael was not oblivious to the crush on Seokjin that you’ve been harboring for months. 

It was the day of your graduation from the short course you’d taken - the three of you decided to have a celebratory wine party at Seokjin’s rented apartment. That same night was when you found yourself drunk on pinot noir and Seokjin’s lips. The rest was history. 

Finding the bed and the rest of his apartment empty the next morning, you took your leave and fared your walk of shame along the streets of Paris with teary eyes and a bruised heart. 

Your Mr. OGF also turned out to be Mr. One God-Tier Fucker. Or perhaps the title also belonged to you, Ms. One Gigantic Fool, who thought that maybe she could have been more than a one-night-stand between two colleagues whose relationship could never be more than a professional one. 

Colleagues. The apparent ‘label’ lets out a boisterous laugh at your face. Gosh, you’re a pathetic fucking fool. 

Thankfully, your flight back to Korea was scheduled that day as well,, so you wouldn’t have to see Seokjin’s pretty face any longer or rather - what you wouldn’t admit even to yourself - you wouldn’t be able to confront the face of the truth you wanted to hide deep beneath the recesses of your heart. 

At least, that’s what you thought. 

One and a half years after you got your certificate in Paris, you had finally saved enough money to start your business - a gourmet restaurant situated in the heart of Gangnam. You already had patrons from the restaurant where you previously worked, and the opening of Canapé had garnered more customers than you initially expected. 

Business had been thriving for a year, that is, until someone decided to erect a new gourmet restaurant just beside yours. Having a rivalling establishment wasn’t new news to you, neither did it truly bother you as to no longer having the monopoly in gourmet restaurants located in this part of Gangnam. 

A week after the opening of your neighbor’s Ambrosia - you decided to bring over a friendly bottle of wine you had shipped straight from France with the hopes that you can become acquainted with your fellow restaurateur. 

As you move along the crosswalk and reach Ambrosia’s podium outside intended for the maitre d’, you shift your weight between your legs, an unconscious habit that only Seokjin took notice of. Ridding your thoughts of the man who shall no longer be named, you let your mind wander off to your own worker’s description of the alleged owner. 

Out of all your staff’s depiction of Ambrosia’s owner, it’s your sommelier’s and manager’s descriptions that have struck you the most. 

Yoongi, your timid sommelier, tells you that the owner was a stout man in his mid-forties with Caucasian features, while your manager, Jinhee said he was a man around your age with a face and built that could easily pass for a K-Pop idol. 

You were leaning towards Yoongi’s description because Jinhee would have most likely mistaken a real idol for the owner since there were plenty of celebrities who hung out in Gangnam and would meet up in restaurants like yours. Either way, celebrity look-a-like or not, you were determined to meet your neighbor. 

“There’s someone outside, Hobi,” a busser informs the maitre d as he wipes the last table for the day. Three pairs of eyes look at you through the glass. 

You continuously peer from the outside as you can’t see much from due to the darkness inside, where only a few dim lights are on. “Go on then, Hobi,” the owner states, nudging the maitre d towards the door. 

Hoseok takes a glimpse of you through the glass panel and faces the owner. “Hyung, she seems pretty. Why don’t you do it? You ought to have a proper girlfriend right now. It’s about time you move on from your love interest in Paris! Plus you’re the owner of the restaurant!”

“Hobi, I still have to do kitchen check, remember? And for the record, I have moved on from her. Chop chop.” Hobi gives him an incredulous look, highly doubting his boss had already forgotten about her. “Right away, Mr. Seokdon Ramsay.”

You’re drawn from your thoughts when you hear the melodic sound of the bell as the door opens and a man with a bright smile comes out. “Hello! My name’s Hobi, can I help you with anything?”

“Um..hi! I’m from Canapé just across the street… are you, perhaps, the owner of Ambrosia?” 

“Oh! I’m not the owner…I wish I was though if I had someone pretty like you looking for me…” You laugh awkwardly in response, unsure of what you should reply to such a line. The two of you remain standing there, staring at each other. “Um...is the owner there then? It would be nice if I can speak to him or her or them…” you let out a small cough, looking away.

“Right! Of course, sorry about that! I’ll tell him to come out.” Hobi scurries back inside and soon you hear incoherent yelling and laughter from inside the restaurant.

“Hyungnim! Hyung!!” Hobi calls out once more, eyes searching wildly for Seokjin. “What now?” Seokjin emerges from the kitchen with the busser in tow. “Hyung! She’s fucking hot! And I feel like I’ve known her from somewhere…plus she says she’s from our neighboring restaurant! I told you, you were the one who should’ve gone out there. By the way, I think she’s calling wine o’clock too – and the bottle she’s holding looks like expensive French Cabernet Sauvignon!”

Seokjin narrows his eyes at his maitre d, “You seem to have been spending a lot of time with that sommelier from across the street.” The owner of Ambrosia shakes his head at his friend, who pushes him towards the door. “Hurry! You wouldn’t want to keep a pretty girl waiting!”

You’ve been waiting patiently outside, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you watch people come and go. The streets of Gangnam was always lively, and it still surprises you at this point that you had decided to put up a restaurant in the midst of the hustle and bustle of a city like such because you’ve always wanted to erect one by the countryside with the whole organic theme going on. Nonetheless, you were happy with your decision of establishing one in Gangnam.

The bell dings again, and as you turn on your heel to check the much-anticipated owner of Canapé, you nearly drop the pricey bottle of red wine in your hands. It’s Mr. man-who-shall-no-longer-be-named. You’re stood there shell-shocked, mouth agape at the man in front of you.

He hasn’t changed one bit, well, except for the more handsome features. He’s changed his hairstyle too, now opting for an exposed forehead instead of those bangs he’d impulsively cut by his own in the middle of the night. His shoulders remain the same, miraculously; just an inch wider and he could’ve been a great replacement for a meter stick at Encore, the clothing store that offered bespoke clothing just down the road.

“_________?”

Seokjin starts to speak, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to do the same. There’s too much you wanted to say, ask , and rant about that your mouth remains hanging open awkwardly – almost as if you’re squawking. You bow in embarrassment, apologizing for your behavior and run back to your restaurant.

The Gourmet Chefs Association of East Asia was holding its annual even today at The Andaz Seoul and you just had this gut feeling Seokjin was going to be there. With yesterday’s discovery that your neighboring, rivaling, restaurant was owned by none other than Kim Seokjin himself, you already had an inkling he was invited to GCAEA’s event tonight.

Your suspicions had been confirmed as one of the event’s producers sent you an email earlier this morning, that which contains the list of nominees for the title of GCAEA’s Chef of the Year – the same title that was bestowed upon you just last year. Seokjin was the first nominee for this year’s awarding ceremony.

Kudos to him. Despite knowing that your hatred for him was fueled by more personal reasons, you knew deep down inside the recesses of your brain that he was a really, really talented chef. Probably just as good as you – of course, you can easily admit that you’re still lacking in plenty but you don’t think your pride will allow you to accept defeat from Seokjin just like that after all he’d done.

You only had the chance to look at Seokjin for a good seven seconds yesterday, but it had taken you at least seven hours, a tub of ice cream, and a Captain America movie marathon to reassure yourself that having seen him so close yesterday wasn’t just an actual nightmare.

As much as you hated to admit it, he remained just as handsome as he was three years ago. What you couldn’t get over with though, was how he actually smiled at you yesterday. That little fucker had to audacity to show his perfect little pearly whites at you! All over again, you’re reminded of how he left you in his room the morning after, or how much of a fucking fool you were for having believed that the two of you could’ve been something more than friends.

Rearranging your dress for the nth time today, you take another look at the mirror, twisting and turning to see if there might be some thread hanging off the hems of the dress. You’re starting to question your decided outfit for the night. You had a dress done just for this event – or more specifically, what sort of dress Jinhee had ordered to be sewn just for this event.

It hugged your curves perfectly – the dress a perfect merger between modest and seductive. It had a nude-illusion base with silver sequins sewn onto the thin fabric and a low-cut neckline that gives everyone a lovely view of your cleavage.

This one could easily pass as an evening gown for a Miss Universe candidate. You felt confident, beautiful, and sexy but at the same time you felt like you wanted to just huddle yourself up in your duvet in the corner of your room and eat ice cream. You weren’t uncomfortable with showing skin from time to time, but having been clad in a double-breasted jacket on a daily means it felt strange having your neckline displayed in public.

Your phone dings, indicating a text message. Yoongi had offered to be your chauffeur for this evening, of course, after being coerced and bribed by Jinhee into doing it.

[yoongles 🍷 ] 6:43pm

hurry up, or i’ll leave you behind

[you] 6:43pm

yoongs

It’s MY car WE’RE using

you don’t even have my keys yet

[yoongles 🍷 ] 6:45pm

u get the idea, woman

dont keep me waiting

“Well maybe if you won’t stop texting, I’ll be quicker,” you grumble to your phone, placing it inside your purse so Yoongi won’t bother you any longer. Doing one last twirl in the mirror, you grab your necessities you’ve gathered on your bedside table and sweep them into your purse.

“You clean up nicely, boss.”

Squinting your eyes at Yoongi with his words, you send him a grateful smile nonetheless. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.” This was the closes thing to an actual compliment that you were ever going to receive from Yoongi in your entire lifetime, so you were sure to keep his words close to your heart.

Taking your car keys from your purse, you toss them to Yoongi who catches them deftly with one hand. “Ooh, you looked cool when you did that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You gave me a compliment, so I’m going to give you one in return. As a token of gratitude.”

“Remind me never to say anything to you ever again.”

“Hey! You talk back like that to the woman who’s giving you money for your daily needs?! And you won’t even open the door for me?” you ask your past neighbor-turned-sommelier-turned-close-friend. “It’s called a salary, Ms. _______. And I receive that as compensation because I give you my services in exchange for it. Plus, I’m already seated here,” Yoongi shrugs, adjusting the rear view mirror.

Rolling your eyes, you begrudgingly open the door to your backseat, exerting much effort in swinging one leg after the other with your incredibly tight evening gown. And, of course making sure the short train won’t get caught between the car doors.

Yoongi checks if you’re all good through the rear-view mirror and once he sees you buckle up, he lets the engine roar to life. You take out your phone from your purse to see if you’ve received any other emails, only for the phone to get flung from your hands – including you.

The car surges forward all of a sudden and Yoongi steps on the breaks just in time. You hear Yoongi curse under his breath, looking over his shoulder to check if you’re okay. “Shit! I forgot you drove a Maserati!”

“I think the more appropriate thing to do is to ask me if I’m still okay…Also, it doesn’t matter what kind of car I drive, because I think you forgot how to actually drive at all.” You complain, adjusting the seatbelt across your chest, the sudden jolt leaving a diagonal red mark just by your collarbone.

“Well, you aren’t dead, so technically speaking, you’re okay.” Unbelievable. You let out a loud scoff, unable to think of anything wittier to say. “Just please get me there in one piece, Yoongs.”

You manage to get to the hotel in one piece. Thank heavens.

The small talk you made with Yoongi on your way to the hotel had temporarily taken your mind off the jitters but now that he’s left you standing by the entrance of the hotel, the nerves had definitely returned, tenfold. You’re also unfortunately dropped off at a spot where a standee of yours holding the Gourmet Chef of the Year award is staring back at you. God, you hated that photo. They did not give your eyebrows justice, at all.

You exhale all your nervousness away as you take the steps to the lobby. “_______!” Someone calls out, the voice too familiar to miss out on.  “Sunbae!” You turn around to see one of the most revered chefs in Korea, and definitely one of your favorite mentors, Choi Jiyoung. The woman nearing her fifties extends her arms out in greeting and you give her a tight hug. You had worked under her supervision in the past, and she had taught you almost everything you knew about Korean cuisine.  

“Ah, it’s been too long darling! Look at you! You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman!” Misun praises as her grip on you tightens and pulls you by the elbow, “Surely, there’s a lucky man that has swept my sweet _______ by now!” Your senior adds, punctuating her sentence with a wink at the end.

“I’ve been pretty busy these days… and dating hasn’t really crossed my mind recently.”

‘That’s because the last man I’ve wanted to date was three years ago and he’d just considered me a one-night stand and now after I’ve struggled to burn his existence from my memory and to be very frank with you, I really haven’t gotten over him and now he just so happens to be the owner of the restaurant beside mine. Also, he’s stealing my customers.’ Comes your real answer inside your head, but you’ll never tell anyone that.

Jiyoung pouts at your answer, but taps your forearm, “We’ll talk more about that inside. Come on darling, the event is starting.”

Seokjin sees you finally enter the lobby, eyes scanning the few people scattered around the area as you look for a familiar face you could approach. All eyes are on you, yet you don’t notice, like always. You don’t realize how beautiful you are, blushing furiously under the simplest compliments. You’ve got this certain charm that certainly draws people towards you, all the more when they get to know you better, just like what you did to him.

Seokjin remembers the first time he’d actually seen you – on the television. He’d been scrolling aimlessly through the channels, trying to look for something to watch as he waits for the water to boil for his ramen. He’d accidentally stopped by Channel K99’s ‘Choi Jiyoung Kitchen Specials’ reruns during midnight when he checked his phone after it dinged, alerting him of a notification on his email: just another alert to renew his ‘KOREA’ magazine subscription, where he’d secretly get new recipes, try them out, add a little twist, and serve them to his customers at his parent’s restaurant.

As he was about to press the off button on the remote, you enter the frame as the camera pans out when Choi Jiyoung introduces you as her new assistant and protégé. For some reason, this show just got all the more interesting for Seokjin, who’s clearly drawn to you and not the scrumptious seafood platter that Chef Choi was preparing.

He’d followed you on all his social media accounts after that night, even going as far as turning on his notifications for each post you made. He was unsure what had drawn him to you in the first place – whether it be the fact that you were probably the first female chef he’d seen in Korea that was just about his age (that or he really just didn’t pay any attention to women in the same field during the early years of his career), or that you were unbelievably skilled at such a young age with apparently, a lot of culinary awards and certificates under your belt.

Funny enough, Seokjin wasn’t really one to delve into the world of pastry but judging from your most recent Instagram posts during those days, you had taken interest in patisserie, which only caused Seokjin to attempt baking his own first croissant. He finally understood your enthusiastic devotion for it ever since. Then came Les Coulisses Du Chef, where Rafa, an exchange-student-turned-friend of his from his culinary school days had secured him a slot for a semester at the prestigious school of gastronomy in Paris to get a certificate on French pastry.

He wasn’t expecting you though, out of all people, to join the official list of the class as well, last minute.

It took him three weeks before he finally spoke to you, much to Rafa’s exasperation. Seokjin would keep nagging the French man, telling him how much he wanted to talk to you, yet he can’t seem to grow some balls to do so. In annoyance, he’d told Seokjin that the best way to break the ice was to tell a joke – this time, much to Seokjin’s chagrin. He’d never thought secondhand embarrassment was a thing until Seokjin actually heeded his advice and told you about the ‘impasta’. Surprisingly enough, it worked, so voila!

If only you knew how nervous Seokjin was during that time, clammy hands and all. In fact – if only you knew how jittery Seokjin was whenever he was near you. He’s pretty sure he’d ruined his credibility and career after busting out that lame ass joke Rafa had told him, but it turned out to be the only way he actually got closer to you so he was partly grateful for Rafa’s advice – reputation be damned. 

Just like tonight, the moment his eyes fall on you, he feels like he’s being drawn back to his room, eyes trained on you as you diligently followed each of Chef’s Choi’s directions, or that time he’d first spoke to you back in your French patisserie class. He diverts his gaze elsewhere from the fear that you might catch him staring.

“Hey, man. Isn’t that ________? The girl you’ve been crushing on since forever?” Minjae asks, elbowing Seokjin at the waist. The latter grimaces slightly in pain, before reluctantly letting his gaze settle on you once more.

Jungkook returns from the bathroom, joining the duo by the reception. “Wow, who’s that?” the younger man asks, nodding towards your direction. With Jungkook being a fairly new member of the association, curiosity is getting the best of him with all the faces he’s seeing.

Similar to a little kid at a toy shop, he’s constantly asking his hyungs if the people he was seeing were the actual people he’d seen on the internet or on the television. Minjae, who indulges every question of the maknae of their small circle of friends with great enthusiasm, answers Jungkook. “That’s _______, Kook.”

“No way! That’s her?! As in the _________?” The only female chef in Korea who received her first Michelin star in her twenties?! As in ________ Choi Jiyoung’s protégé?!”

“Yes, Kook, that’s her alright. And also the same ________ who will hear you soon enough and will find you weird if you don’t keep your voice down.”

“She’s also the same recipient of the award your Seokjin hyung is nominated for this year,” Jiwon adds, wriggling his eyebrows at Seokjin.

“That’s so cool!” Jungkook exclaims as their whole group watches you approach the infamous Choi Jiyoung. “Hyung, do you think she’s single?” Jungkook asks to nobody in particular, considering they were all his hyungs. Minjae and Jiwon glance at Seokjin who returns their glances with a light glare.

“Why don’t you go find out after the party then?” Seokjin suggests, ignoring that certain pang of jealousy that blossoms in his chest at his own proposal.

“Tell me you’re kidding, hyung.”

“Huh?”

“Come on! That’s your girl! You’re going to let go of her just like that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kook.”

“Hyung. I may be the maknae, but I am neither blind nor dumb. Anyone with two eyes and a functioning brain will know you have the hots for her.” Minjae and Jiwon snicker at the younger one’s comment. Seokjin, albeit being second to the youngest, gives them a glare the makes them cower behind Jungkook.

“Am I really that obvious?”

“Well no. But every time we go out, the only notifications that pop up in your screen are her posts on Instagram. Don’t you think that’s a tad bit…pathetic, hyung?”

Ooh and aahs  come from the two other men, who are reveling at the harsh bluntness of Jungkook’s words. It’s the maknae who receives Seokjin’s side-eye next. “Need I remind you who’s the older one here?”

“The point exactly! We’re not getting any younger, hyung. Better ask her out now…before I beat you to it.” Seokjin’s mouth falls open in astonishment, while Jungkook just smiles at him in return. “Come on hyung, they’re calling us inside.”

“Well, well, would you look at that stunner over there?” She comments, nodding her head towards someone over your shoulder. There he was, the infamous Kim Seokjin, clad in an all-black ensemble, a single silver chain necklace hanging on his neck. His hair is swept to the side, revealing a bit of his forehead.

“Oh boy.” Jung Chungae fans herself as your greatest rival turns sideways, showing off his side-profile while animatedly telling a story to a fellow colleague seated with them. “Oh how I wish we could just go back to our golden years for just one night!” The rest of the table laughs at Chungae’s comment.

“I personally think you and that man would make a great couple.” Jiyoung says, leaning towards you.

“The other man sat on his right doesn’t seem to think that way though,” Chungae says, picking on her dessert, whispering ‘cute guy from same table’ discreetly. As if on cue, the rest of the ladies, you included, turn your heads towards Seokjin’s table. True to sunbae Chungae’s implications, there was another man beside Seokjin who was staring back at you. You believe Jungkook was his name… nevertheless, you get shy under his stare, averting your eyes back to the presently attractive flower arrangement at the center of your table.

The servers pile inside in pairs, approaching each table to take your dessert plates. You see the host rise from his chair and take the stairs to the stage. He taps the microphone, checking if the audio was working, “To announce this year’s Gourmet Chefs Association of East Asia – Chef of the Year award, may I call on Ms. _________.”

Minjae nudges Seokjin as you stand up from your seat. “Hyung, quit it before other people see you.”

“Come on now, get your ass up and walk her to the stage!”

“She can perfectly walk on her own though?”

“Come on, it’s plus points both for her and the crowd! Give these oldies a show, idiot.”

“N-“

“Hyung, if you won’t do it, I will.” Jungkook says from across the table, eyeing you as you excuse yourself from the other ladies in your table.

Seokjin stares at Jungkook and purses his lips. He discards of the napkin on his lap at once, lightly throwing the piece of cloth on the table. As he stands up, few murmurs of curiosity follow him as he approaches you.

“Ms. ________, may I?” You’re surprised when somebody suddenly appears on your side, offering his arm out for you to hold onto. You hear sunbae Jiyoung quietly cheer you on, nodding her head once to accept Seokjin’s display of manners. The rest of the audience likewise cheers the young man on with a few men whooping and a number of ladies cooing at the sight.  Frankly, it wasn’t even that long of a walk until the stage but a part of you was grateful, knowing for yourself that you truly weren’t used to wearing long dresses like these. 

As you both reach the stage, with your hand hooked around Seokjin’s elbow, he places another hand atop yours for extra support. The action seems to have the opposite effect. Suddenly all too aware of the proximity between you two, a shiver runs through your spine, secretly hoping the gulp that you make at the sensation goes unnoticed. At the end of the stairs, you give him a curt bow and say your thanks, unable to look him in the eye.

The emcee hands you the microphone and an envelope, containing the name of the awardee. You tap the mic once, then twice. “This is on, right?” The audience laughs in response. “Woops, sorry,” you apologize meekly before starting your half-impromptu, half-practiced speech.

“I’d like to take this opportunity to thank, first and foremost, the board of judges who have bestowed upon me this same award this time last year, and now I have had the greatest honor to announce the awardee later on. I would also like to send my gratitude to all those who have been my mentors here in Korea and overseas – for I have taken your pieces of advice to my heart and they have guided me wonderfully throughout these years, especially sunbae Choi Jiyoung, who has molded me into the woman and chef that I am today. Also, here’s a special mention to Chef Lee for having prepared this wonderful course for us this lovely evening – I absolutely admire how he manages to make Korean staples like Kimchi Jjigae and Pajeon so…flavorful like it’s been made with his entire heart and soul poured into each detail. Wow. Could we have a round of applause for Chef Lee tonight?”

The audience complies quickly with your request while Chef Lee gives you a bow of gratitude by the doors of the event hall.

“Lastly, I would also like to acknowledge the presence of a beloved mentor of mine, back when I took patisserie classes back in Paris – Mr. Frank Boucher, who had, by the way, also prepared his signature Apple Tarte Tatin for our dessert tonight. So without further ado, the Gourmet Chefs Association of East Asia – Chef of the Year award goes to, drumroll please!” Your tongue feels like it got stuck in your throat, but you pull yourself back to reality quick enough so no one else notices.

“Kim Seokjin! Congratulations!”

Seokjin had just barely gotten back to his seat when he hears his name being called. He stands up, beautiful facial features twisted into one of confusion. “You won Chef of the Year bro! Congrats!” Minjae pats Seokjin’s butt briefly before pushing him back towards the stage.

As you hand him the trophy, you give each other a small smile, likewise posing for the cameras. The photographer gestures for you to scoot closer to each other with his hands. It’s getting harder to fake your smile. You wanted nothing more but to go home. Or maybe you could pass by Canapé and take a bottle of wine home for yourself 

Thankfully, the awarding the Chef of the Year signals the nearing conclusion of the event, and as soon as you get back to your seat, you send a text to Yoongi, telling him that the event will be over in a couple more minutes.

The event ends quicker than expected, and you find yourself bidding goodbye to everyone else as soon as the emcee officially ends the ceremony. You badly wanted to go home and rest, with only a few hours left for sleep before another work day starts.

You see Yoongi pull up by the entrance after a few more minutes. “How was the party?” You tell him what happened during the event, completely leaving out Seokjin’s appearance and antics. “Let’s just drop you off by your apartment first then I’ll go drive back to the restaurant to grab something.”

“I can go with?”

“It’s fine Yoongs. Besides, we have work in a few hours. You already sleep during work, what more if I keep you awake for an extra couple of minutes tonight?”

Yoongi just shakes his head at you, saying nothing else in reply. He finds you uncharacteristically quiet after a big event like this and wants to ask you about it, but you seem too lost in your thoughts that he doesn’t want to bother you any further. You arrive at his place shortly and as you get down from the car to switch places, you give him a hug and thank him for being your chauffeur. “Oh, and _______? Your French Cabernet Sauvignon is at the third row from the top. And drink at home, please. See you tomorrow.”

Passing through the main entrance of your restaurant, you turn on a few lights by the wine rack to aid your search for the alcoholic beverage. You make a beeline for the wooden structure attached to the wall. Third row from the top… reaching out, you grab on a bottle, reading out its name, ‘Chateau Pichon Longueville 2015 Pauillac’. This will most likely do the trick.

All of a sudden, a knock comes from your door, startling you out of your wits. Quickly, you scurry to the kitchen, looking for something that can protect you in case this person means harm. Your extensive collection of knives is what comes into your mind first, but you wouldn’t want them to be considered murder weapons, in case the worst scenario comes into play.

So you settle for the rolling pin, clutching the cylindrical utensil tightly in your hands. “Who’s there?” you call out, hoping the fear wont seep through your words. “Um, it’s Frank. Frank Boucher. Is that you inside, _______?”

Letting your hands fall to the side, you cautiously near the door, still clutching the rolling pin in your hands. You can’t be too sure nowadays. You sneak a glace through the glass panels to confirm his identity. Breathing a sigh of relief when you see it really was your mentor back in Paris, you set aside the rolling pin and unlock the door.

“_________!”

“Ah, and to what do I owe this pleasure, Chef Boucher?”

“I wanted to talk to you back at the event, but I’m guessing you left early…”

“Um, yes…still a lot of work to do tomorrow.”  

“Can I get you anything, perhaps? I- I grabbed a bottle of wine just now… would you like some? Or water maybe?”

“Wine is always a great choice, _______. Also I’m here to tell you something important, but I’ll let you grab two glasses first, for our usage.”

“Of course! Please feel free to sit anywhere you like.”

“Quaint restaurant you have here, ______. This is the same Canapé you told me in your email right?”  

“Yep! Would you mind a few crackers and goat’s cheese to go with the wine?”

“That sounds perfect, though you really don’t have to bother yourself with all of that…” You shrug off his comment, reassuring him that it was the least you could do after having taught you so much when you were back in Paris.

You finally get everything ready, one hand holding a plate full of crackers and cheese, while the other holds two wine glasses. As soon as you get seated, Frank takes upon him the honor of opening the bottle, pouring a sufficient amount of the beverage onto your glasses. “I meant to give this to you personally earlier, but I could no longer find you after the party ended.” He hands you a white envelope with your name and Canapé’s address printed at the back. 

“You’ve been invited to the Asian Gourmet Conference in the Philippines next week.” You choke on the wine you’re drinking, embarrassingly turning into a coughing mess in front of your mentor. He looks at you expectantly as you open the envelope.

“Wait. This is real?! No way!” Frank laughs at your reaction, excitement evident in your voice as you skim over the words indicated on the paper. “Oh my goodness! This is such a great event! And the opportunities! Please bring the wine home, Chef Boucher! It’s on the house.” The French man laughs harder at your offer, but he doesn’t decline.

“I’m glad you’re this excited, because you’re going with Seokjin.”

Immensely thanking the heavens that you were looking down the whole time while reading the document, else your mentor would’ve seen the instantaneous scowl that graced your face at the mere mention of the-man-who-shall-not-be-named.

You force a smile onto your features before looking back up at Frank. “Kim Seokjin? As in Kim Seokjin who just won GCAEA’s Chef of the Year Award earlier?”

With slumped shoulders, you lean farther backward in your seat. The Asian Gourmet Conference was one of the most anticipated conferences in the whole of Asia. It was an event highly awaited by many in the culinary field, especially one of its main events where they invite gourmet chefs from all parts of the world to compete for the best dish ever and a $200,000 prize.

The contest was another thing though, because two representatives will be vying for each country, so the winning pair will get to come home with $100,000 each. You really wouldn’t have put any thought into who your partner would have been if you were.

Your head fills with dread at the thought of having Seokjin as your partner. It was bad enough that he owns the gourmet restaurant next to yours, and that he’d attended GCAEA which caused more unwanted interactions with him.

“Yes him. From what I’ve heard, people say he’s a rising star, and that his newly established restaurant was getting a lot of good reviews.”

“It’s the restaurant next to mine, chef.”

“Ha! Seems like you’ve finally met your match, darling. Pretty sure that can apply romance-wise as well…”

“Why does everybody keep shipping us?” You wonder, subconsciously vocalizing your thoughts.

“You two look like you have his-…I think… you two would just look great together!”

“Ship? You know what ship means?” You look at him incredulously.

“It’s when you like the idea of two people together right? My daughter says it all time because of these Korean boys with bright hair – actually, when she knew I was going here to attend GCAEA as a guest she kept on nagging me to buy her albums and these sticks…”

“Sticks?”

“Yeah, the lightning ones?”

“Lightning?” You stifle a laugh. “You mean lightsticks, right?”

“Whatever they’re called, _______.” Frank Boucher gives you his infamous glare.

Nearly snorting at the sight of your mentor looking physically and mentally exhausted with trying to keep up with his fangirling daughter, you offer him another bottle because he seems like he needs it more than you do.

Your conversation falls into talking about your current lives and the stresses of running a restaurant, with Frank eventually leading the conversation about the person you’d least likely enjoy talking about. He tells you about your neighboring rival, how he’s done just as well with his own place like what you did with yours. He’s proud that both of his students had established their names in Korea’s gourmet society even at such a young age.

The clocks finally hits ten thirty and Frank takes this as his cue to get going.“Great! Your plane ticket and hotel booking has probably already been sent by my secretary to your email. The convention is only for three days, but the two extra days are on me. Take it as a gift for Canapé’s opening. Go enjoy yourself, _______”

Forcing another bright smile onto your face, you bid your goodbye to your mentor, locking the front door of your restaurant as he leaves.  Five days with Seokjin. May the gods have mercy on you.

The four-hour flight to the Philippines had been excruciatingly awkward. To say the least.

You hadn’t talked to each other for the most part. In fact, the only time you had interacted with each other was when you’d waken him up because you had already landed at the airport. The both of you had barely spoken to each other even on your way to the hotel. Occasionally he’d ask you questions that only warranted monosyllabic responses from you.

You’re glad that weariness passed as the only excuse for the lack of interaction. The moment you’d met up at the airport, fatigue had already been evident in both your faces, so your pair had ended up with alternating sleeping schedules during the length of your flight and up to the taxi ride to your hotel.

Only a few words were shared between you when you’ve finally arrived in front of your rooms – something along the lines of ‘good night’ and ‘see you tomorrow’. As you let sleep take over you that night, you pray that everything will go smoothly for the entirety of your stay.

“Lovely afternoon to all of you present here today at this year’s Asian Gourmet Conference!” Excited applause falls amongst the crowd, cheering on different countries, even though they screamed the most for Team Philippines. The host greets the audience and the participants one more time, before proceeding to the guidelines of the event.

“For the first challenge of our main event, we’d like the chefs to cook two staple dishes from their respective home countries – but with a twist! Our chefs will have to use Filipino ingredients only! This is where we put their creativity and talent to the test. To our chefs, please be reminded that we will be giving you an hour to prepare your fusion dishes. While you guys are cooking, I’ll be going around to interview almost fifty chefs who have come from all parts of the world just to join us today.”

You start brainstorming with Seokjin the moment the host leaves the stage. “You’ve been to the Philippines a few times right? You’ve tried some of their food?” your partner asks, turning to you. You’re surprised he even remembered…if you had recalled properly, you had only mentioned it once back in Paris that you did visit the Philippines on occasion.

“Um, yes…I’ve been here a couple of times,” you reply, racking your brain for any Korean dishes that might hold any similarity with Korean staples. “I only remember Sinigang, and Adobe…”

“I’m pretty sure they call it Adobo here Seokjin,” you make no attempt to suppress the giggle the escapes your lips as he mistakes computer software for food.

“But the challenge is only to make our home country’s staples with Philippine ingredients… so this shouldn’t be that big of a fusion problem since rice is also considered a vital part of their meals here…”

“You think good ‘ole Bibimbap will do? Pretty much all the ingredients are available here…What else could we have?” Seokjin asks, taking a notepad and a pen from his jacket. “We can have tteokbokki for the appetizer and bingsu for dessert.”

You get to cooking right after you and Seokjin agree on the ingredients you were going to use. Maybe working with Seokjin wasn’t so bad after all. Not even fifteen minutes into the competition, you see a few girls cheer Seokjin on, ceaselessly calling your partner “Seokjin oppa!” They screams only seem to spur Seokjin on, who’s now showing off his knife skills. You roll your eyes as you shake your head, crushing the garlic a little too hard against the board.

“Jealous much?” your partner asks. You can feel Seokjin smirking beside you.

“You wish, Kim Seokjin.”

“Whatever floats your boat, ________,” he sighs, “If only my partner could also send me words of encouragement rather than staying silent the whole time,” he mumbles to himself, thinking it wasn’t loud enough for you to hear.

“You and I both know this mouth is better at something else.” You turn to him, giving Seokjin a playful wink before setting the ingredients to the bibimbap on one side. He nearly drops the knife he’s holding at your comment, obviously scandalized by your innuendo.

Even with the time racing against you, everything was still going as planned, you just needed to hurry with the final parts of the dishes and you’d be able to beat the buzzer which was bound to ring in less than twenty minutes. That is until the salt container placed on top of this tall arrangement of pots topples over the shaved ice you’ve prepared for the bingsu. You see the ice melt before your eyes, and you quickly move to the container, removing some of the ice that was turning into water.

“Shit! Sorry ________!” He drops the pans he held in his arms onto the sink, scampering to your side afterwards. “Can I help –“

“No! I…It’s fine, Seokjin, just…just go back to whatever you were doing earlier. And please be careful next time.” Seokjin nods curtly, before going back to clean the pans. “______, why does it smell like something’s burning?”

“Fuck!” Cursing under your breath, you hurry towards the pot where the rice was cooking. As you remove the cover, the smell of burnt rice and a failed dish wafts through your nose, causing you to take a deep breath as you attempt to calm yourself down.

Reluctantly, you scoop out the rice that wasn’t burnt and place it onto the stone pot and start plating your bibimbap. Seokjin likewise helps you finish plating the tteokbokki and bingsu in silence.

Needless to say, your burnt rice didn’t make it through the first round. It didn’t mean that you were disqualified from the competition though, but in order to win the cash prize, you will have to make it through all three challenges of the event. That same evening as you take the cab back to the hotel, the despondence in the air is thicker than ever.

“See you tomorrow, ______.” Seokjin says, giving you a small smile as he stops in front of his door.

“Right. See you tomorrow, Seokjin. Sleep well.”

It’s ironic how it was you who actually needed that phrase and not Seokjin. You’ve watched the clock tick away, turned on the television for something to watch on the local news channels which were thankfully spoken in English, you had also resorted to Netflix on your phone, but all to no avail.

Admittedly, you had finished an Iced Americano in fifteen minutes earlier this morning but you figure it’s the entire ‘burnt rice’ accident that’s keeping you awake at this hour. Heaving a deep sigh, you lift the covers off your body, put on a hoodie and headed outside.

You pause by Seokjin’s door momentarily, with the strong urge to knock on his door and apologize for your lack of professionalism earlier this afternoon. Seokjin didn’t really mean to pour the salt over the ice at the event, and the way you reacted was unnecessarily rude.

Seokjin was probably asleep though, and you didn’t want to further embarrass yourself by waking him in the middle of the night. Retracting your hand that was merely inches away from his door, you turn on your heel and decide to apologize to him first thing in the morning tomorrow. Maybe even get him an extra something to show the depth of your regret and guilt.

After having asked the receptionist for directions towards the nearest convenience store, you’re suddenly regretting having worn shorts on your way out – the exposed skin of your legs prickling as the chilly evening air bites at it. Spotting 7-Eleven just across the street, you walk quickly towards the convenience store, desperate to feel warmth in this cold night.

The mellifluous sound of the bell echoes throughout the small store as you enter, that particular smell of convenience stores wafting through your senses. You decide to explore the shop a little, trying to look for something to eat.

Quite ironically, you’ve cooked nearly a thousand dishes in your lifetime, and having to cook another shouldn’t be that much of a burden but when your mind is swirling with thoughts just like tonight, you can’t seem to bring yourself to cook even the simplest dish – like it’s too great of a task to burden yourself with.

So during times like this, you turn to instant noodles, the ultimate lifesaver since your culinary school days. Hopefully no one from GCAEA or the AGC finds you like this, a dignified gourmet chef who’s starting to establish her name in the culinary field, crawling convenience stores in the middle of the night and slurping instant noodles away like it’s her last day on Earth.

You finally get to the noodles section, where you see a man in a hoodie, likewise skimming through the same aisle as you. The receptionist had told you to be wary of sketchy-looking people especially during the wee hours of the morning so you hurry with your own search as you look for a certain brand of cup noodles. Shin Ramyeon.

It should be here somewhere… As far as you’re concerned as a consumer, it’s being exported to over a hundred countries now so it must be here. Going over the entire aisle one last time, you finally see the red cup, reaching over the lone cup of Shin Ramyeon left on the shelf. The problem was, you weren’t the only one who was reaching for it.

Why do those fingers look insanely familiar?

Your eyes widen gradually as you slowly trail them up to see the owner of those hands. Of course, who else could it have been? You call out each other’s name at the same time.

“Seokjin.” “________.”

“You can have it.” You spoke in unison again.

“It’s fine really, you can have it. I’ll just look for another brand,” you tell him, handing over the cup with perfectly controlled reluctance.

“Would you mind if we shared, perhaps?” You stare at him, completely taken aback by his offer. “Or not…I mean- forget I even said that… Here take it.” He hands the cup to you and starts to leave.

“Jin! I- I don’t mind sharing.” Biting on his lip, he attempts to hide the smile that slowly etches into his face as he hears the nickname only you have for him. He turns to face you again. “Okay.” Seokjin gives you a smile, grabs the cup noodles from your grasp and orders you to look for seats while he pays for your shared midnight snack.  

Slowly, you trudge towards the limited number of seats they offer at the convenience store and find a spot by the windows. Seokjin arrives at your table a couple of minutes afterwards.

It was now or never. You owed Seokjin an apology after having rudely declined his offer of help during the event, even when the whole fiasco was just an accident. You figure if you don’t apologize for your unjust behavior, guilt is most likely going to eat at you for a very, very long time. Seokjin’s dejected yet still beautiful face will haunt you in your dreams.

As Seokjin busies himself with adding the ingredients onto the paper cup, you take this opportunity to speak up. “Jin,” you start, the nickname sending Seokjin’s heart into another frenzy. “About the bibimbap earlier, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, ________. It was my fault anyway. I should be the one apologizing right now, but…hold that thought for a moment…” He looks away, letting out a sneeze. “….it’s the powder seasoning, sorry… As I was saying, I’d also like to apologize about what happened earlier, I mean if I didn’t try to carry so much, the salt wouldn’t have toppled over.”

“Hey! I should be the one apologizing right now! Stop stealing my thunder!” You pout, begrudgingly taking the small carton of milk Seokjin bought to go with the ramen. You can’t say you aren’t pleasantly surprised at how he remembers this habit of yours too. For some reason, he remembers how you always have milk ready whenever you eat something spicy.

“Anyways… I also wanted to apologize for my rude behavior towards you back at the event. It was an accident, yet I reacted badly and declined your assistance. It was only after the event that I realized that we’re supposed to be helping each other, and not treating each other poorly.”

“Don’t worry yourself too much about it, ______. Besides, we still have two days to redeem ourselves right?” Seokjin sends a warm smile your way, one you cannot help but return.

“What else are you waiting for? The ramen is getting cold and lonely.”

“You sure you aren’t talking about yourself?”

“You know, I’m thinking maybe you should get your own instant noodles,” Seokjin comments, fingers curling around the paper cup.

“Okay, okay, geez.” Throwing your hands up in defense, you thank him for paying for the noodles and the milk before pulling your chopsticks apart and digging in. As you take your first bite, Seokjin suddenly speaks up.

“Is it just me, or I am really very anxious right now…what if someone might see us?”

“Last time I checked, there’s nothing wrong with eating inside a convenience store.”  

“No, no. But we’re like… owners…of restaurants…that serve gourmet food…yet here we are, at half past twelve in the morning, sharing cup noodles like it’s the last meal in the world due to a zombie apocalypse.”

“I get how you feel, but I don’t think we’d agree on the zombie apocalypse part…”

The conversation flows naturally between the both of you, like two friends casually catching up with each other’s lives. Seokjin was in the middle of talking when you hear the pitter-patter of rain outside. Tiny droplets of water slide down the glass panels, slowly turning into heavier ones.

You look at each other. “Should we?”

“We can wait this out if you’d like…” Seokjin proposes, though he isn’t so sure he wants to go with his offer either. The sudden downpour doesn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. “Forget what I said, we should leave before this gets worse. Wait here.” Seokjin stands up,  goes through each aisle of the convenience store, and returns to where you’re seated. “Damn, they just ran out of umbrellas.”

“We could just run back the hotel…it’s just one crosswalk away.”

“You sure about that? What if you get sick?”

“Let’s just hope we won’t then.” Seokjin gives you a nod in approval. “Before we go out though,” he pulls his hoodie off his torso, giving you a slight show of his abdominals as he raises his hands. You abruptly look away, before nasty thoughts overcome you.

Placing his hoodie over both your heads, Seokjin peers down at you. “Ready when you are.” The quick sprint back to the hotel has you both screaming and laughing at the same time. You weren’t surprised that Seokjin’s hoodie barely served its purpose. You were both drenched from the neck down, attracting unwanted attention from people with your appearance.

With less than a few more steps before you reach your hotel rooms, you feel trepidation bubbling in the pit of your stomach. What’s going to happen now? Were you supposed to forget what happened between the two of you three years ago just like that? Was your midnight ramen run officially a clean slate?

Seokjin has his back facing you, the thin, white material of his shirt clinging sinfully to his skin. Every second spent with Seokjin was the best form of punishment in both ways “Are you going to sleep?” You don’t think that was going to happen anytime soon, now that you’re once again blessed with his visuals and perfectly sculpted body.

Seokjin turns to face you, waiting for your response. You shake your head no, eyes unabashedly staring at the outline of his six-pack. The man lets out a cough, drawing you out of your reverie. “Wanna keep warm for a bit and talk over hot chocolate?”

Why do you get the feeling it’s not just hot chocolate that’s going to keep you warm tonight?

“Sure.” Your voice comes out small, swallowing loudly as he unlocks the door to his room. 

The tension in the air is so thick that you’re actually having difficulty trying to breathe normally. Seokjin sets his wet hoodie on the floor before meeting your eyes, pupils already dilated. He momentarily holds his stare, eyes raking all over your equally drenched body. He points a finger sideways, “Hot chocolate.” Subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, you nod, unable to form any coherent words in your head.

As he heads towards the kitchenette, you rub your face with your hands, before placing a hand over your chest. “Calm down, girl. It’s not like you’ve never seen abs before.” This is like Paris all over again, and you weigh the possible outcome of this situation. If you’re reading the signs right, Seokjin is clearly just affected as you are. Are you really willing to wear your heart out on your sleeve like this one more time? You rack your brain for answers, yet all it does is betray you with images of the rippling muscles underneath Seokjin’s shirt.

Ah, fuck it.

“Jin?” you call out as you reach the wall separating the kitchenette. Just as you peek through the divider, Seokjin rakes a hand through his temple, his hair now pushed back and forehead visible. You practically hear your resolve shattering into pieces.

Taking initiative, you close the distance between the both of you, connecting your lips with his in a feverish kiss. He tastes spicy – just like the ramen you’ve shared just minutes ago, but god, your favorite ramen and Seokjin’s lips; if that ain’t the hottest combination in the world – both literally, and figuratively.

You kiss Seokjin fervently like you’re going to crumble if his lips aren’t connected with yours. One hand of his raises to get rid of the scrunchie holding your hair up in a ponytail, and he lets his fingers card through your wet hair gently. The intensity of his kiss practically devours you, his hands grabbing hastily at your clothes. He’s itching to take them off your body, yet you feel the hesitation in his actions, waiting for that sign from you before he can do so as he pleases.

Pulling away to take a breather, you tug your hoodie up and off you, with Seokjin helping you with the task. "You don’t know how much I’ve longed for this, fuck." He seizes your mouth with his once more like a man starved.

Seokjin groans as he finally gets a view of the amount of lace you’re wearing underneath your hoodie. “I’d love to have you in your lingerie another time, but for now, let’s get you naked for me, hmm?” You’re barely allowed a second to fully comprehend his statement about lingerie and another time before Seokjin discards of the red lacy bra you have on and attaching his lips to one of your nipples.

Gasping at the sensation, you arch your back so that you’re practically pressing your chest against his face, greedily asking for more. Hooking a finger inside the waistband of your gym shorts, Seokjin easily tugs your shorts down along with your underwear.

He grabs you by the waist and lifts you up to the counter for his convenience. You shiver slightly when your ass comes in contact with the coldness of the marble. As if on instinct, your legs spread wider, seemingly inviting him to come closer to you.

“You’re so fucking hot, you know that?”

“Mhmmm,” your words are muffled as you ardently kiss him. Seokjin brings his lips back to your breasts, biting and pulling at one while the other gets kneaded under his palm. Equally just as impatient as you are, Seokjin lets a hand trail in between your bodies, tentatively brushing against your core to gauge your reaction.

Your body quakes in anticipation, and Seokjin teases you even further by slowly rubbing the pad of his finger on your clit. “Jin, please,” you beseech. “Gotta prepare you first, baby girl.” Letting your head fall back at the sensation (and the pet name!), Seokjin decides to give you what you want, seeing as though you were wet enough that taking his cock right now won’t be a problem. He finally slides a finger inside, your body trembling at the intrusion. God, it’s been too long.

Okay, honestly speaking, you really didn’t take interest in another man when Seokjin entered your life three years ago, and now that you’re back here in this compromising situation with his finger sliding in and out of you languidly, you feel like you could just cum at the thought of it alone.

Seokjin adds another finger, continuing the pace. You moan wantonly as Seokjin curls his fingers, your velvety walls clenching around his digits. He can tell you’re getting close, but he knew it wasn’t enough.

Without having to slide his fingers out of you, Seokjin grabs at one of the chairs and pulls it towards himself so he can sit.

He hooks his arms under your thighs and pulls you closer, merely centimeters away from your cunt. Your cheeks are set ablaze at his brazen action, opening your mouth to say something, falling speechless yet again as Seokjin’s lips come in contact with your nether lips. The man licks a bold stripe along the length of your folds, your hands instantly finding purchase on his hair as you’ve got nothing else to hold on to. He repeats the action all over again, this time adding his fingers to slide in and out of you and toy with your clit. A few more licks and a particular curl of his digits, Seokjin makes you cum for the first time again in three years, so hard that you’re body’s trembling even after he sets your legs down 

You’re breathing heavily, resting your forehead on Seokjin’s temple. “Mind taking a shower with me? It’s important to bathe after running the rain” Seokjin looks up at you, eyes pleading.

“I would, if I’m still able to walk.”

“Who said you were going to walk?” Seokjin maneuvers you on top of the counter, placing his hands under your knees and on your back, carrying you bridal style towards the bath. As soon as he settles you down onto the tub, he turns the faucet on and leaves you there for a moment, telling you that he was just going to grab something from his luggage.

You rest your head against the edge of the tub as you wait for Seokjin. You slowly feel exhaustion taking over you, but when you hear Seokjin’s muted footsteps against the carpeted floor, your eyes pry open only to see Seokjin in his boxers, holding a bath bomb in his palm. You gulp. This was going to be one hell of a night.

Just like before, Seokjin has you cumming thrice in the bath, once when he took you from underneath, making sure that the water fell perfectly on your clit for added stimulation as he slid his length in and out of you. He’d made you cum when you rode him as well, water sloshing everywhere at your naughty shenanigans in the bath. Even after two orgasms, Seokjin just won’t quit, having bent you over as you faced the wall, pounding you from behind.

Seokjin, with his libido seemingly running 24/7 tells you he wasn’t done with you just yet, saying he’s still got three years worth more of fucking to give you. He wanted to give you the most unforgettable sex of your life, and boy, was he adamant about it.

Seemingly not having had enough of you yet after helping you scrub almost the whole expanse of your skin, he finds himself getting hard again at the sight of you in just his shirt and nothing else.  You meant to sleep by that time, but as soon as Seokjin spooned you, you’d felt his clothed erection already grinding against your ass. You no longer kept count of how many times he made you cum.

The sunlight peeks through a tiny slit through the curtains, the heat perfectly hitting your face, causing you to wake up. Your body is sore all over, and as you roll to the other side while stretching out your limbs, you spot next to you empty.

Of course. You’re a fucking dumbass.

Hastily grabbing your clothes strewn across the floor, you head out of his room, tears already brimming in your eyes. Your vision is getting blurry by the second, and you angrily swipe at your cheeks as you feel a singular tear roll down. As you curse Seokjin under your breath, you bump into none other than the devil himself. “Oh! You’re awake?”

You don’t answer, stepping aside so you could go back to your room and rethink your life decisions.

“Where are you going, _______?”

“Out of your room, and hopefully out of your life as well.”

“Wait - ______! What are you talking about?” Seokjin extends his hand to grab your arm.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Seokjin.” The venom laced with your words makes him reel, retracting the arm he had held out to reach you. “I really never meant anything to you, hm? Fuck, I have probably reached desperation to return back into your arms that easily.”

“Desperation? That’s all it was last night? And the one three years ago?”

“I should be the one asking you that question!”

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? Are you really that fucking dense, Seokjin? You were the one who left me alone in the room that morning, and now you’ve done it again. Congratulations on having a new notch on your belt. And I’m a fucking fool for even thinking you felt otherwise!”

“You think I left you that morning?”

“I’m not done yet—what did you say?”

“You were the one who left that morning!”

“I did not! When I woke up, you weren’t there, nor were you anywhere inside your entire apartment! Do you know how embarrassing that was!” You pause, lips trembling, “F-For someone who actually meant something to you only seeing you as just some one-night stand?! Someone who you could use to get your dick wet?!”

“You like m-“

“You’re missing the entire point here, Kim Seokjin!”

“What’s happening here?” A raspy voice asks, the familiar mop of curly hair coming into view. Rafa?

“Oh my god! You like me, fuck! I could just kiss you right now!” Seokjin doesn’t even hesistate, already leaning towards your face and connecting your lips. You almost melt into his arms at the sensation, but you pull away just as instantly, tears freely rolling down. “Am I really just a joke to you, Jin? Have you ever even taken into consideration my feelings, even once?”

“______, darling. This is all a misunderstanding. Well, I did leave that morning, but I just went out to Rafa next door to shower. I—you looked so peaceful as you slept that I really didn’t want to bother waking you up to tell you that I can’t shower with cold water and it’s like déjà vu all of a sudden and…wait!” Seokjin drags poor Rafael who’s still looks like he’s half-asleep. “Rafa can verify the truth!”

Rafael sighs, once again caught in the middle of something he no longer wants to be a part of. “It’s true, ______. This guy’s pretty much in love with you. It’s just an unfortunate fact that this same guy has plenty of annoying habits that gets him in trouble most times. Just like not being able handle water that is below 26 degrees Celsius.”

You’re looking back and forth Seokjin and Rafa, trying to study their features if they’re being questionable or not. Finding no trace of mirth in their eyes, you turn to Seokjin. “You really didn’t leave me that morning and… today?”

“No. I could never. I’m a fucking dumbass for not thinking about what you could’ve felt that time and today…or telling you that I was just heading out to Rafa’s to shower because for some reason my heater isn’t always functioning…” 

“Glad to know you’ve finally acknowledged that you’re a bloody idiot.” Rafa speaks up, narrowing his eyes at Seokjin, taking a sip from his mug. Since when was that in his hands? Rafa sees you stare at his mug, and answers your silent question, “Was planning to drink this while it was hot earlier but I don’t see anything wrong with drinking cold coffee while watching a live action soap opera.”

“Funny how a night of fucking like wild rabbits can do so much to people,” Rafa adds, scoffing as he retreats back to his room. You lean your head towards Seokjin’s chest, embarrassed out of your wits. Seokjin puts an arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. “Don’t mind Rafa. He’s just jealous.”

“I can perfectly hear you, Kim Seokjin!”

© hhyungz 2020. All rights reserved.

[pregnant-piggy]

Back again - part II

Sirius Black x reader

Words: 3600+

Warnings: swearing

part one

A/N: I’m back! Stressed af, but I could not leave you without part two! So I’m doing this instead of learning for my exams :) It’s the final part, but don’t worry cuz I have more Sirius content for you! XXX

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The street you walk in is completely dark. Every curtain is closed and only four street lanterns are working. You squeeze your eyes to see what the house numbers are. Afraid anyone will see you, you don’t use your wand, but it lies steady in your hand, hidden in the pocket of your coat. You take a few steps closer to a house and read that it is number 14. You step back and walk further. After a few minutes you come to the right house, number 38. You walk to the door and knock.

Nerves rush through your veins as you wait for the door to open. You had never been here before, but Dumbledore had told you this was the right address. You weren’t sure though, it didn’t really seem like a place that-

The door opens, interrupting your thoughts. You look into the light brown eyes of Remus Lupin. He looks shocked; his jaw is dropped and his hand is clasped around the door frame. After a few seconds his confusion changes into a small smile then into a big grin. He pulls you in his arms and holds you tight. You sigh happily; it had been years since someone hugged you like that. A tear rolled down your cheek and you wiped it away with the sleeve of your coat.

‘Come in, come in,’ Remus says with a throaty voice. You step into the small house. You enter a small, dark hall filled with a single coat rack, where you hang up your coat. The living room is just as dark as the hall, but there is a fire burning fiercely in the cold.

‘I’ll get you something to eat…’ Remus mutters and you feel he needs to take a few deep breaths alone in the kitchen.

It is not a very big room and it is filled with a brown couch and a bookcase full of books. Waiting for Remus to return, you walk to the bookcase and look at the books. A summary on vampires; Magical creatures: dangerous or not?; Five ways to defend yourself in front of trolls. Your eyes scan all the books and they stop at a big book without the name on it. You smile when you see it is a photo album filled with pictures of you and your friends. Pictures of sleepovers in the boys’ dormitory, trips to Hogsmeade, photos of birthdays and other parties. On one of the pages you see your favourite photo.

All of you on Halloween in you third year, dressed up as each other. Sirius had gone as Peter and had filled his backpack with candy; Peter dressed up as James, with huge glasses and really messy hair; James had painted his hair red to be Lily; Lily had stolen a big sweater from Remus and was holding up five books; Remus was you, he wore a (y/h/c) wig and your favourite dress; you dressed up as Sirius, wearing his huge T-shirt and you had painted your hair black. You look at your bag that is lying on the ground. That T-shirt is in there. You had never given it back to Sirius, you loved it too much.

You are browsing through the album and your attention is taken by a picture of you and Sirius. You have fallen asleep on the couch in the common room and Sirius is sitting next to you looking at you. Under the picture someone, and you recognise Lily’s handwriting, has written: If you only knew what you feel for each other. You look back at the picture and realise that it is taken in your fifth year. You and Sirius weren’t dating yet but you had told Remus and Lily about your crush, and apparently so had Sirius. You start to cry; you can’t wait to see Sirius.

Remus enters the room and you turn around wiping away your tears. He looks from your face to the book back to your face.

‘I didn’t know you had this,’ you say to Remus. You sit down next to him on the couch.

‘Well yeah, Lily and I made it. I haven’t opened it since she and James died.’ You see the sad look on Remus’ face and you close the album. ‘When did you got here?’ Remus asks you.

‘This morning. I wanted to come to you, but Dumbledore insisted that I came to him first. I met Harry and he told me about what happened since Sirius escaped.’ You sigh; it had been a long day and you were tired, but you still want to hear Remus’ side of the story.

You rest your head on Remus’ shoulder and close your eyes. ‘France sucks you know? Stupid French people with their cheese and baguettes. They ruined baguettes for me!’ You hear Remus chuckle and continue your rant. ‘The only good thing there were the pastries. But they were expensive as hell! And the French wizards! Merlin, are they annoying! I never understood a word they were saying, which is not very nice when you’re duelling. Luckily that only happened a few times.’

Remus suddenly turns to you and looks you in the eye. ‘You haven’t changed at all have you?’ he asks with a  smile. ‘I missed you. I could have used your enthusiasm and positivity, it has not been nice…’

Seeing your questioning face, Remus begins to tell you about the things Harry didn’t. About the new Order, about his time with the werewolves, about the night at the ministry previous summer.

He talks all night and is finished when the sun already starts to rise. You have listened to him without interrupting. Your eyes are red from the sleep you are lacking, but you wouldn’t have wanted this night to be any different. It was nice to talk to Remus again. You had missed him so much. His smile and sarcastic comments, yes, but also the way he listens to your stories and how he trusts you even after this much time apart.

‘The next meeting is next Wednesday. Are you coming?’ Remus asks you while cleaning up his coffee table, that was covered in coffee mugs and candy-bar-wrappings, and you shrug.

‘I don’t know, I think I need to think about what you told me and what Harry told me, but I don’t think that will take until Wednesday. And to be honest I could really use some sleep right now. I haven’t slept for like two days.’ Remus laughs softly and gets up.

‘I have a guestroom,’ he simply says and walks upstairs. You grab your bag and run after him.

- -- -

You are lying on your bed, looking at the ceiling. Despite not having slept in 48 hours go can’t seem to fall asleep. The things you heard today are spooking through your head. Every time you close your eyes you see Sirius’ face, but he is talking to you, saying that he doesn’t recognise you, asking why you took so long to come see him, why you haven’t freed him.

You look at the clock hanging on the wall. It is 4 o’clock. You turn on the bedside lamp and sit on the edge of the bed. After minutes of doubting to grab your bag and take out a notebook. It is filled with letters that Sirius wrote you, during summer vacations and later when he was away for missions.

Sweet (Y/N),

It has only been two weeks since the vacation started but it feels like I haven’t seen you in months! Here at home everything is acceptable. Mum and Dad haven’t noticed I sneak out at night.

I know that you would say I shouldn’t sneak out and that I should be careful. But you don’t have to worry, I came up with a perfect system that I am not going to tell in case this letter falls into the wrong hands.

Next week I am going to James. He is back from his holiday then and he asked me to spend the rest of the vacation there. Maybe you can come over sometime?

Yours, Padfoot

You smiled at the letter. Sirius had written it to you in the summer before fifth year. It wasn’t unusual for him to write letters but every time you got one you had felt special.

Sweet (Y/N),

Please come save me from Prongs. All he can do is talk about Lily, about her hair, her eyes, her face, her skin, her fucking everything! I know you probably have better things to do but I don't think I am going to make it until the first of September if someone doesn't save me!

You smile at Sirius' words. You remember going to James after you got that letter and Sirius literally hugging you so tight that you couldn't breathe. You had blushed and stepped back, softly smiling at the situation.

Browsing through the letters you lose track of time. You cry and laugh at the memories in your love’s handwriting. You haven't read them in a long time, but still remember every single one of them.

Slowly the letters get more and more personal and romantic. Sirius wrote you about everything, every small detail of his life. You get to the period after Hogwarts. The letters he wrote to you when he was away for missions. Or when he was away with James, Remus and Peter on their monthly ‘Man-Break' (for Remus).

You are still smiling when you reach the last letter in your notebook.

My love,

Only two more days and I'll be back. I miss you and I know you miss me too. Everything is alright here, though James is stressing because he thinks he is going to miss Harry's birthday. I have tried everything to calm him down but so far nothing worked. I'll come up with more ideas.

Have you already got a gift for Harry? James said he maybe we could get him something quidditchy (he came up with that word! Don't let Remus see it!). I know Lily wouldn't really like it, but she cannot refuse it if we give it.

I really want to see you. I miss you so much. I know you think this is dangerous and it is, but we’re trained for this. I promise you I’ll come home. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again and kiss your lips and watch every stupid, cheesy, romantic film you want to see.

James is calling for me. Probably to ask what he should write to Lily.

I love you, Sirius

That had been the last multiple-day mission Sirius had gone on. He had promised you that he could never leave you for that long. He would still go on missions, but they were less dangerous, mostly because Lily had forbidden James to go on life-threatening missions, and never for more than two days.

You close your notebook and look at the clock. Two hours have passed since you started reading. You fall back on the bed and close your eyes thinking about your friends and how much you miss them.

When you wake up two hours later you don’t remember falling asleep. You slowly get up and walk down. In the kitchen you find Remus drinking his coffee and reading the paper.

‘Morning,’ he says when he sees you. You mutter a ‘good morning’ back and fill a cup with coffee.

‘So how did you sleep?’ Remus asks when you sit down.

‘Fine,’ you lie and take a sip. Remus squeezes his eyes.

‘Then why do you look like shit?’

You laugh. ‘I have been thinking, and I think I am going to the meeting Wednesday.’ You take another sip of your coffee. ‘So what is the plan for today?’

‘Well since it is such nice weather-’ You laugh; it has been raining since you got here. ‘I thought maybe we could take a walk or something and I have to go to the library to bring back some books.’ You smile, that is such a ‘Remus’ way to spend the day and honestly, you are up for it.

- -- -

You have so much fun with Remus and the two days go by fast. Together with him you feel home. It brings back memories of after Hogwarts, when you and Remus stayed home together while Sirius went out on missions. The both of you then only fell asleep at sunrise, your night filled with worries.

And even now you stay up late with Remus, but not to worry about Sirius, or at least Remus doesn’t; you are still scared what will happen if you see Sirius. You spend your nights talking about your time in France and his time here back home. You learn more about when he was a teacher at Hogwarts and he tells you about Harry and all the ‘adventures’ this one has been on.

Staring at your bag on the floor on the floor of the room Remus gave you, you try to take dep breaths. When you agreed to go to the meeting, you didn’t expect to be so nervous. What if Sirius doesn’t want to see you? Or worse, what if he found someone else? You feel nauseous, like you haven’t eaten enough.

‘Are you ready?’ Remus asks. You get up.

‘Yes, let’s just get it over with,’ you say.

Outside Remus gives you his arm and you take it. After looking around to be sure no one sees you, Remus disapparates and are being pulled with him. You hold in your breath and close your eyes. The familiar feeling makes you even more nauseous and light-headed. When you land on the sidewalk of the street you open your eyes and take a deep breath. Remus is standing next to you also looking a little sick but when he opens his eyes he smiles at you.

In front of you appears the house you had only been to twice. One time when you picked up Sirius with the Potters and a second time after you graduated at Hogwarts to pick up some stuff for Sirius. You had gone with James and Remus and luckily Sirius’ parents weren’t home. When you look at the house you notice it has not changed at all. The front door is still the same black colour and it looks like it is the same paint it was twenty years ago. All the curtains are closed and it looks like there is no one home.

You and Remus walk up to the door and Remus knocks on it. You take deep breath and your legs are shaking. The door opens and Mrs. Weasley appears. She smiles at Remus and her eyes widen when she sees you.

‘(Y/N)!’ she gasps. You smile softly at her reaction and let her take you into a hug. ‘I haven’t seen you in so long! How are you?’

‘Shall we discuss that inside?’ Remus asks, while looking around the street and Molly nods. You follow them inside and look around.

You are standing in a dark hall. The walls are painted dark grey and the floor is black. On the ceiling there is a chandelier with a lot of dust on it. It gives you the feeling you are in a haunted house. Even the Shrieking Shack would be a better place to live.

‘Cosy,’ you mumble and Remus laughs. Molly walks to a door that leads to the kitchen. There are a few people already there but no one notices you.

‘How long have you been here?’ Molly asks you as you sit down and slowly people start to recognise you. Their eyes widen and some jaws drop. Swiftly you are surrounded by people who ask you questions and want to know how you are.

‘But I thought you were in France?’

‘What was it like there?’

‘Weren’t you banned from England?’

And then someone asks a question that makes your stomach turn upside down.

‘Does Sirius know you’re here?’ You look at Remus and then shake your head.

‘No, he does not, I got back here Sunday and I haven’t had the chance to contact him,’ you answer. You answer all the other questions but the later it gets, the more nervous you feel.

After half an hour you hear a familiar voice.

‘What is going on here?’

You recognise the voice. Of course you do. It is a voice you could never forget, not even if you tried. It is the voice with a little rasp, a deep, heavy sound. It is the voice that makes your head spin. The voice that makes you shiver. The voice that you haven’t heard in fifteen years. The voice of the man you loved, still love.  

The people around you step aside so Sirius can see you. With every person that steps aside you can see more and more of the person you came for. The man with the long, black, silky hair and the stormy grey eyes. You see his feet, his strong legs, his hands. Merlin, his hands. His beautiful muscled hands that used to touch your body every second you were near him. Every time you were near him his hands instantly found your body. His hands on you back, your hips, your shoulder, your thighs, your hands. His hands were everywhere.

You hesitate. You are afraid to look him in the eye. You are afraid he is not the person he used to be, you are afraid he has changed. Not that change is bad, but what if it is?

Slowly you look up. Sirius is still looking at the other people around you. He hasn’t noticed you. Yet.

He follows the direction everyone is looking at. You can feel your heart beating and you are pretty sure everyone can hear it. Finally his gaze meets yours and he doesn’t move. He drops his hands alongside his body and stares at you, with an open mouth. You form a little smile when you see his face.

‘Hi,’ you say softly but loud enough for everyone to hear it. People around you look between you and Sirius; you can see their heads moving, but all you can focus on his the man in front of you.

Sirius closes his mouth and then opens it again to say something. But nothing comes. The fear in your head gets worse. This is what you imagined. He doesn’t want to see you, he probably moved on from you, you are nothing but an ex for him. The girl he used to date.

You feel tears coming up, but you refuse to look away. You want to see his reaction, no matter how much it will hurt you. Sirius shakes his head and you feel like you have been stabbed. Your nails scratch on the table when you move your hand and you hear it. Everyone does. The room is absolute silent. Nobody makes a sound. Everyone is staring at you or Sirius.

You keep staring into Sirius’ eyes. Then slowly you start to notice a glimmering in his eyes. No metaphorical one, but a physical one. Sirius is crying, or on the edge of. The corners of his mouth go up and the slightest smile appears on his face. You feel the relieve falling off you. Your heart starts to beat harder, but more lively. The blood rushes through your body.

The little smile turns bigger and bigger, until Sirius is grinning. You let out a laugh from relieve and people around you start to smile carefully. Sirius walks towards you and you get up. When he is in front of you, he takes your hand and places his other one on your cheek. You look him in the eye and you feel like an idiot smiling so much. You start crying at the sight of Sirius’ tears. The tears roll down your face but Sirius keeps looking at your eyes. Your faces are now inches away from each other and you could easily lean in and close the space but something is keeping you from doing that. The fear is still in your body. Fear of being rejected after all these years.

‘Stop crying,’ Sirius whispers and you feel his breath against your skin. ‘Everything is alright, love.’

You kiss him immediately when you hear his words. And without hesitation he kisses you back. It is a rough, but passionate kiss and you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Feeling Sirius’ lips on yours makes you relax. Your hands on his chest, his hands on your back and in your hair.

People around you start to cheer and you smile into the kiss. Before pulling apart Sirius bites your lip and you moan softly so only he can hear it. You can see the arousal in his eyes and you grin. You take his hand and pull him out of the room. You drag him to the nearest room and close the door behind you. You stare into Sirius’ eyes and he kisses you again, rough and passionate, but also soft, like he is trying to express his feelings through his kiss.

‘Fuck,’ he breathes when he breaks the kiss. You rest your heads together and you giggle. The tears are still running down your cheeks but you don’t care. You relax when you feel Sirius’ hands on your back. You stay like this for a long time until Sirius says:

‘I missed you so much. I thought I would never see you again, where were you?’

‘France.’

‘France?’

‘Yeah, the ministry apparently doesn’t appreciate weekly letters about how much they fucked up.’

-------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

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[moosoobi]

Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical 

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3 

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV 

Modern au 

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1 

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers: 

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing. 

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start… 

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying. 

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him. 

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know. 

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off. 

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life. 

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me. 

“How was class, Cherie?” 

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating. 

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction 

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that. 

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food” 

And so we begin to drive off  

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that. 

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us. 

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose. 

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex. 

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities. 

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them. 

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.  

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me. 

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me. 

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea. 

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time 

“Oui.” 

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”. 

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” 

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other. 

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision. 

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds. 

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.  

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us 

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.” 

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes 

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted. 

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises. 

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly 

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for. 

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me 

And just like that,  we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night. 

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass. 

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod. 

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.” 

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame. 

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours. 

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving. 

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

 My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal 

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily. 

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever. 

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right? 

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride. 

--- 

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect. 

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment. 

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time. 

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie” 

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library. 

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer 

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

 “You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person. 

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake. 

“Nice to meet you.” 

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it. 

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me. 

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me. 

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile 

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..” 

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?” 

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked 

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.” 

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond 

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him. 

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together. 

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction 

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him. 

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all. 

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever. 

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness? 

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others? 

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I. 

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to. 

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve. 

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to. 

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn. 

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table 

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me. 

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.” 

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure. 

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading. 

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough. 

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did. 

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas. 

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice. 

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang. 

The Notorious Sons of Liberty. 

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders. 

How else do you think I pay for college? 

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining. 

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you. 

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness. 

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly 

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.” 

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him. 

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic. 

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door. 

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body. 

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea. 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head. 

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber. 

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door. 

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment. 

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival. 

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake. 

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me 

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble. 

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted 

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one. 

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. 

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth  a little too harsh for my liking 

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.” 

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.” 

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead 

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—” 

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

 At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw. 

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us. 

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head. 

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-” 

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek. 

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled 

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this. 

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving. 

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time. 

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me. 

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage. 

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth. 

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. 

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face. 

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash! 

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster. 

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice. 

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down. 

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel. 

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes. 

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place. 

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them. 

The sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage. 

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension. 

54 notifications: 

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out. 

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder? 

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second. 

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment. 

Panic once again rushed through my body. 

I need to get out of here. I need to leave. 

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself. 

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas. 

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants. 

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

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