#when I may be not bitter anymore about Charlie

[aubvrns]

"If It’s Make Believe"

| SVU & Stories

Sypnosis – When Reader prepared dinner because they promised to come home, but it’s the evening and soup isn’t warm anymore.

Note – Olivia Benson, Elliot Stabler, Alexandra Cabot, Casey Novak

(Female centered, but no pronouns used.)

———————————————————————

!!

Olivia Benson

• — She promised. She promised she’d be home by 8.

• — But it was 11, and you were sitting on the chair as you lost your appetite. For some reason, the food looked dull. And you looked blue.

• — "Y/N? Honey, I’m home!" you hear faintly from the door, lights turning on in a moment.

• — You closed your eyes and sighed, approaching the staircase. Not even one step on, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

• — "Hey, you look like you’ve been somewhere. Care to tell me?" she smiled at your cute outfit, expecting an answer.

• — "Please just shut up." you said out of anger, avoiding her gaze.

• — Her eyes squinted, "Excuse me?" Her voice turned stern, annoyance lingering along.

• — You can’t help but scoff. "You promised me you’d come home," Tears welled in your eyes. "And you didn’t and I’m tired and I’m lousy. This is been the fourth time you bailed on me, Olivia!"

• — She scoffs condescendingly when you yelled at her. "And this isn’t the first time I was needed at work! Elliot needed help, he’s my partner and you should understand how important my job is!" She yells, causing you to flinch out of her sight.

• — "More important than you." Olivia huffs, going up the stairs and slamming the door, leaving you crying on the staircase. You really had to lay dead in a crime scene, just for her to care.

Elliot Stabler

• — You saw him. His lips on Olivia’s.

• — Your lips trembled, but your body was frozen. You came to bring him dinner, you didn’t expect anything wrong. You couldn’t move, but you wanted to run. It was too late when Elliot’s eyes meet yours.

• — "Y/N, what are you doing here?" His voice wavered, removing his hands off the brunette. Olivia looks down, embarassed as she walked passed you out of the room.

• — "I was just about to leave." You fight your tears, but they end up flowing anyway.

• — "No, wait—" He tugs your arm, preventing you from leaving. "That was a mistake."

• — Your eyes flicker in anger, hearing the unbothered ring in his words.

• — "How long?"

• — "Y/N." He sighs. "It was bound to happen. Believe me, I loved you. But it has always been Olivia. It will always be Olivia."

• — Your sight darkened, hands shaking in unbelief. "It wasn’t such a mistake, was it?"

• — You left with your heart drumming out of your chest, breathing troubled as you walk out the the precinct and throwing out the food you made him down the trash.

Alexandra Cabot

• — "Friend? What do you mean?"

• — Your voice echoes on Alex’s phone as she remained silent on the video call. You hear her closing the door of her office, sighing as she sat on office chair.

• — "I may have not told them I was dating someone. Or likely, a girl."

• — "Oh." You uttered, a hint of sadness in your eyes.

• — "It’s not that I’m not ready to tell them. It’s just weird to say I like girls." She laughs mockingly, the familiar sound became unrecognizable.

• — You stayed quiet, shrugging the bitter feeling. "Will you atleast come home for dinner? It’s almost 9."

• — "Not sure, we’ll probably get some drinks and dinner later." You hear the door opening, and Alex suddenly dropped the call without a goodbye.

• — You wipe your tears and silently put the food away. Your thoughts weren’t as quiet as you were, but your relationship was.

• — 2 years later, you receive an invitation from Alexandra.

• — She was getting married. To a man.

Casey Novak

• — Your roommate, Casey, comes home from work with a smile on her face.

• — You assume it was because she smelled the delicious aroma, but it turns out to be more than that when she says something that caused your heart to drop.

• — "Charlie ask me to be his girlfriend!"

• — You were speechless, no words came out of your mouth until she was giggling to herself as she took a bite of the food on the table.

• — "Uh, congratulations, Case! I am so happy for you, you’ve had a crush on him since forever!" I’ve had a crush on you since forever. You thought to yourself, a smile on your face.

• — "I know! By the way, this tastes amazing. You’re such a great cook, babe!" She says, giving you a teasing kiss on the cheek.

• — After you both finished your food, she helps you clean the table and goes to bed.

• — Your hands weren’t the only one wet the second you thought about your bestfriend getting married, you weren’t sure if it was because you were just tired or the fact that she was the only one you’ve ever had. And you were going to lose her.

• — Drying your hands, your eyes as well, you remove the paper in your pocket. The one you spend hours on, ending with an I love you, and that’s enough. Crumbling it, and down it goes in the trash.

• — Good luck, babe.

!!

[locution-youngster-enjoyer]

💗Granny May

💗The Narrator

💗Leslie

💗Charlie and Meatloaf

Oh sweet Jesus Christ /hj

You’ve opened a whole can of worms with that one, ESPECIALLY for the Narrator

Granny May

I don’t have a lot to say about her because I don’t care that much about her overall, so I don’t have that much to say about her backstory-

She’s been in the villain business for a long long time and was more respected in her younger years. Her husband was also a criminal, but before him she dated Hal Hardbargain, who made her the mech suit she uses. They’re now bitter exes, and constantly fight because they’re cranky old people. Unfortunately, Granny May’s husband passed away, but she Carrie’s on her villain career because it fulfills her.

Granny’s mom is not a villain, and didn’t exactly approve of Granny’s career, but still loves her a lot.

Eugene and Granny don’t really talk anymore after the shorts. Granny is disappointed he gave up on his villain career so early, but otherwise doesn’t focus much on him.

Uhhhh yeah that’s all I got for her, I haven’t really given her much thought lol-

The Narrator

HAAHAHHAHA oh god

Ok so- in my AU headcanon thing (Idfk at this point), there’s three different levels of reality. There’s the irl world (aka us, yes you person reading this), the middle ground, and any fictional world. Narrator’s live in the middle ground, aware they’re fictional but also living out there own lives in some strange form of free will. This means that it’s possible that any narrator from any media could interact, though it’s typically separated between film/tv show narrators, and game narrators.

Also, most of them without canon names just go with whatever name their VA has, so the Narrator would be named Chris.

Chris is happily married to the Powerpuff Girls Narrator (aka Tom)

Time works differently in the fictional reality (aka the whole show of Wordgirl) then it does in the Middle Ground. Time skips that are shown in the show aren’t actual time skips to the Narrators. Chris will literally just walk off and do something else until whatever time is being skipped to. While he can just stick around after an episode, there’s no real reason to, but he sometimes does so anyway because he actually likes his protagonists.

Tom is a whole separate thing so if y’all want me to talk more about these two please let me know. I love ‘em :))

Idk what else to mention, I just like the silly voice guy

Leslie

MY GIRRLLL. I have so much to say about her

In my au, Leslie and Victoria Best have a strange mentor and student relationship.

This is because that Leslie had a very similar childhood to Victoria. The reason she seems to be so multitalented is because as a kid, her parents put her through so many tournaments and extra curricular activities. Kids viewed her as either weird or mean because she was working all the time. Unlike Victoria, Leslie didn’t constantly boast about being the best, but she did have a silent air of superiority.

Until around 8th grade, when a teacher called CPS on her parents. They lost custody of her (because of the horrible shit they would do to her), and she started living with her grandma.

No longer having the constant force telling her to be perfect, Leslie’s mental health and self confidence tanked. It why as an adult she gets stage fright easily.

She went to a really prestigious high school filled with several people with rich families (including some other characters). One of said characters was Claire McCallister, who she quickly befriended (they also dated briefly, but it didn’t really work out, with them leaving on good terms)

Eventually, her high school and another high school participated in an event where they competed with each other, and that’s where Leslie met Lady Redundant Woman, Ms Question, and Mr Big (pre-transition). She specifically hung out and befriended Shelly, and helped him realize he was trans, so for a while they were absolute best buds.

After school, Leslie started working in economics, but was pretty bored with her life, until she heard of a job opportunity as a secretary for an up and coming company. To her surprise, she ends up reuniting with Mr Big.

Mr Big didn’t originally have Mind Control is his company statement, he suddenly got the idea from a random joke Leslie made that he took way to seriously.

Over time, Leslie started to lose her energy for the job and her self esteem started to sink again. The lack of credit and the overworking she received do nothing to help her.

Charlie and Meatloaf

These guys are so silly :]

Meatloaf’s actual name is Joe

These two were roommates in college and were best buds ever since. They both got a job at a construction company together, and they began to befriend a certain Dr Boxleitner who kept calling for their help because he kept blowing up his lab.

Post the accident, Two Brains ‘hired’ them to come work for him, since they were the only people who he knew and who were willing to help.

They’re also in an asexual relationship with each other

[wendigonamecaller]

Deadly Kiss.

Desc: Asher wasn't a bad person. She was quiet, well behaved, and had a gentle beauty about her that naturally made people flock to her. Asher was a good person, until she was given a reason not to be. 2002, she's only 22, never willingly been intimate with anyone, when police stumble upon her body in the Tennessee senator's home, a single gunshot wound to her head and a gun in her corpses grasp. She wakes up in hell, with a new appearance and powers, which present her with new opportunities, until she meets Angel Dust and becomes mixed up in Charlie Morningstar's hotel, unevitably becoming mixed up with Alastor.

Taglist: @sparrowrye

Pt. 13: Who Owns Who?

Alastor and Asher were taking their time walking back to the parlor, until a loud noise and the hotel rumbling startled them. "Close your eyes, my dear." Alastor instructed.

Asher closes her eyes and feels her surroundings shift a few times before Alastor's hand leaves her lower back. Asher opens her eyes and sees the hotel in the middle of chaos, loan sharks were attacking and Mimzy was cowering.

"Of course." Asher growled, severely pissed that Husker was right and still got his shit almost beat in by Alastor, which makes her lips lift slightly into a snarl.

All because of this pudgy showgirl that obviously wasn't in her prime anymore. Asher teleported in front of the bar, smiling sadly at Husker before reaching over and grabbing Mimzy by the neckline of her dress and hauling her over the bar top with only one arm as Alastor shifted forms and took off after the loan sharks.

"Give me one good reason not to fuck you up." Asher snarled, ears puffing out their fur and standing stiffly on the top of her head.

Mimzy doesn't get to answer as Midnight pulls Asher off of the much shorter girl. Mimzy sneaks her way out of the hotel towards Alastor who was now done fighting and was just relaxing in the view of his carnage. He makes Mimzy leave, before re-entering the now chaotic hotel.

-♡

"I work for her you can't just do that Light!" Midnight snapped, attempting and failing to tower over Asher as everyone watched.

Asher's ears twitched and her right eye turned gold. "She brought bullshit to this hotel, which may I remind you is my home right now, and you expect me not to get pissed? I've made better progress in under a month here than I've ever made anywhere else." Asher says, voice oddly calm.

Alastor tilts his head as he watches and Husker gets ready to grab Midnight and throw her out. "What, you wanna get a free ticket to heaven after killing more than you should've as a human? That's not how that fucking works Ash." Midnight growls, before regretting it as Asher's other eye glows gold and turquoise chains appear on Midnights neck and wrists, knocking her to her knees.

The entire hotel goes rigid as Asher yanks on the chains, forcing Midnight down fully. "I sincerely hope you didn't mean that as an insult, Midnight. Even so, if you ever say that again.." She begins, approaching Midnight slowly.

"I will bind your soul with a pact so that the only time you ever see the light of Hell is when I'm using you for background entertainment, otherwise I will rip you apart piece by bitter fucking piece and devour you like the meal you're running from becoming." Asher growls, her claws extending dangerously long and her demonic horns and wings making an appearance as her eyes turn from gold to red and her gray skin darkens to black.

"Yes ma'am, I understand." Midnight murmured, her fur fluffed out in alarm and fear.

"Excellent, you're dismissed." Asher says, going back to normal.

She turns around, finding the hotel beginning to relax. Angel Dust laughs, Charlie looks in shock, Vaggie's expression is dark but she can see the fear, Husker is utterly terrified by the display, Nifty looks like she's gushing and Alastor's eyes hold surprise briefly before going back to his chaos loving self.

Lucifer laughs before stepping forward. "Magnificent, a doe owning a fox soul, and owning it delightfully in a menacing way. My dear, are you an overlord?" Lucifer asked, standing awfully close to Asher.

"No, I am not. I had a chance to be, but I have better things to do than kill twenty four seven all because Vox is a hungry bastard." Asher says.

"Absolutely darling." Lucifer says, kissing Asher's knuckles.

Asher pulls her hand away, slyly wiping her hand on her shirt. Alastor prances into Asher's line of sight, his smile was strained and she could vaguely see how a vain in his temple was pulsing with an effort to not massacre the Devil.

He reached out and fixed the laples of the waist coat he'd let her wear to hide her tail. He dusts off her shoulder and tucked some of her hair behind her ear, a fleeting moment of intimacy passing between them and Asher feels her pulse speed up once more.

[quartervois]

@strangercrime

the corpse lays out on the table, ribcage splayed like arms open for an embrace. it does him no good to look, but he looks anyway ––– memorizing every inch of the slack face / the altar of organs stacked to the side. ( he has to do it now, because when hollis is finished, she’ll put a sheet over the body. that done, there won’t be a body to look at anymore. SHE’LL HAVE MADE A GHOST. ) the medical examiner glances up; he’s too busy studying her hands to meet her eyes for the half-second they’re his to meet.    ‘ i don’t care. ‘    charlie rarely means to say things quite so sour as they come out. it just happens, the same way fruits grow bitter when the sun’s too warm. ( I DON’T CARE. as in, stay however long you need to. as in, i won’t stop you. )    ‘ just here to return a file. ‘

he holds the folder in question close to his body; it’s not heavy enough to justify the two-handed carry, really. a thin stack of papers comprised of the police and autopsy reports, neatly typed / the beginning of a psychological profile, equally neatly written in his own hand. ( you can tell a lot about a murderer from where they choose to stick the knife ––– if they use one at all. ) for all his claims of being here to return the file to the pathologists desk for the night, he doesn't move.    ‘ –––how did he die? ‘

𝘈 𝘋𝘐𝘚𝘔𝘐𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘝𝘌 ( 𝘗𝘌𝘙𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘚 𝘈𝘗𝘗𝘌𝘊𝘐𝘈𝘛𝘐𝘝𝘌 ) 𝘏𝘜𝘔 𝘍𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘚 𝘍𝘙𝘖𝘔 𝘏𝘖𝘓𝘓𝘐𝘚' 𝘓𝘐𝘗𝘚 while a keen gaze is returned to what she was doing. She'd have to clean some of the bones as decomp was beginning to set in when the body was found and since it was half-submerged the cause of death is proving a bit more tasking. Gloved fingertips press aside some musculature to investigate a possible injury while Charlie remains in the doorway--- watching. The redhead was used to gawkers, after all, she was often te one gawking while in lecture so why should it bother her that Charlie seems a bit interested in what she was doing. She spent her better years sequestered in morgues doing much of what he was doing now: watching. It didn't bother or worry her. Death was fascinating and she may understand that interest better than other.

"Dr Hall won't be back until the morning," Hollis informed Charlie, "but I'll be sure he gets it if you want to leave it with me. If not, he's usually around by 830am, if he doesn't get stuck waiting for his usual breakfast sandwich." Hollis lifted a tool and it glittered brightly in the light earning her attention for the briefest of moments before she uses it to cut free the stomach and lift it out of the quickly emptying cavernous corpse. Weighing the organ she clicks the recorder on to record the weight and measurements before clicking it off again. Conversations were troublesome to sort through when recording so she often recording only the necessary for notations.

Dark eyes, darker than most, narrowed in on Charlie's large and awkward frame. He was too large, she often thought, for him to move as easily as her and while his size was intimidating, Charlie himself seemed to understand this and he'd hunch and make himself small. She thought he'd look much better if he wore his size proudly. Being large wasn't always a bad thing. Being intimidating was often a very useful thing. Oh how she wished she could be bigger than she was. Maybe then she'd be taken more seriously.

"I'm not sure, yet," she admitted with a frown. Not knowing things always pestered her to the point of madness. "There are some cuts to some rib bones and the sternum, indicating a possible stabbing. But, there's so much damage I'm still sorting through what could have been the fatal injury. I still have to check the lungs for water in case there was a drowning. Body was found in a sewer drain, after all." Hollis regarding Charlie once more and her head canted to the side, "Wanna see?"

[randomly--accessed--memories]

@storm-ismyusername

1&3 - There's probably a clause in most soul contracts that the contractee can't murder the contractor or commit suicide, but that doesn't mean Vox won't try to manipulate the situation to put himself and Al in danger.

2 - He'd probably start giving her the cold shoulder. He doesn't want to be reminded of when he was too out of his mind to look down on her. Plus, now she's become to him what he was to Husk: a living warning. Niffty's heartbroken that her friend doesn't like her anymore, unless she's also been restored to sanity but trapped under contract, in which case they bond in a similar way to Angel and Husk.

4&5 - Vox is fucking miserable at the hotel. He's a huge asshole to everyone who comes within of 10 foot radius of him; the humiliation of his previous condition coupled with the fact that he's unable to do anything about it is too much for him to bear. Maybe he'll chill out a bit eventually, once he has time to process that Alastor is the real enemy here, not the randos he pulled into this situation, but it wouldn't be an easy process.

6 - Maybe. Husk doesn't like Vox, but he'll certainly pour him some battery acid and commiserate about how much their situations suck.

7 - More bitter, mostly. He's losing hope that he'll be able to break out of the contract, is being forced to confront the trauma from everything that's happened to him in the past seven years, and desperately wants his old life back, but knows that it's slipping further away by the day. Him and Husk are on the same wavelength in terms of anger and despair.

8 - Probably, although I feel like he may end up back on her doorstep due to his deal with whoever sent him to help out in the first place. Alternately, Charlie could choose to keep him around for Husk, Niffty, and Vox's sakes. If they're under her roof, she can help them, but if they're off God-knows-where with Alastor, there's nothing she can do.

9 - Idk, could be before, could be after. Vox has no choice but to participate. He kinda wishes he could half-ass it, but he doesn't want to die by exorcist if Alastor isn't going down with him.

10 - Probably. Poor Pentious still wants to be friends, but now that he's fully cognizant again, Vox thinks he's a fucking joke and wants nothing to do with him.

11 - They’re heartbroken and infuriated that Alastor managed to get a hold of Vox's soul. They're hopeful though that if they kill him, they'll be able to free Vox and bring him home.

au where vox gets other ending'd but alastor managed to get him under contract beforehand, so he’s just trapped at the hotel/with alastor

[angeliclp]

After the utter mess of what felt like 40 concurrent story arcs last season, I really really loved the more simple, slow pace that season 10 provided me with. It was more structured and straight forward, culminating in some suspense-packed, exciting and emotionally charged last couple of episodes. This one certainly ranks pretty high on my like-list so far.

I kinda hated that they only gave me like 3 eps of demon!Dean, although my ears highly appreciated that they didn’t have to suffer through more karaoke (damn you Jensen, that was uncalled for you little shit), but they atoned by Dean slowly turning dark throughout the season, which Jensen totally nailed - Jack bless him. His whole arc was so. damn. good. Sam on the other hand... let’s just say that I could have smacked him into next week like every other episode. But I really appreciate that they furthered his friendship with Cas. Speaking of Cas... I just love that angel so damn much, the Claire sl was pretty neat. But seeing him getting hurt, especially by Dean, is just... awful to watch. I also really enjoyed the family drama down in hell. Rowena certainly is something else and she grew on my quite quickly. Also, Charlie deserved better. (and that is all I have to say about this, because that just hurt and I won’t get over it anytime soon.)

more random babbling:

ok... Dean's kinda Dean but not? this is... strange af

well that bitch-jerk banter between Dean and Crowley is just downright wrong

christ, that singing is really... bad... kinda make my ears bleed

who the hell is this Cole guy?

damn, Dean's really terrifying like that

my poor angel, I really hate to see him so weak

can they please kill off that annoying bastard Metatron? I'm so done with his crap

is Crowley getting... sentimental?

oh hello there Rowena, nice to make your acquaintance at last

those boys just can't stay away for two fucking minutes can they? well, at least they are talking... kinda

you are a damn hypocrite Dean, and after what you did the last couple of months you got one hell of a nerve to even think about getting on that moral high horse there buddy

didn't Chuck say once that he never published the last name of the boys? and that Sam and Dean knew it was proof that they were who they claimed to be? god, these plot holes...

the whole fandom thing? still weird af to watch

but the way this brought them back together and the musical version of "Carry on my wayward son" was fucking beautiful

oh crap... Chuck

the background music in 10x06 is killing me

I really am kinda bothered by the whole Hannah Castiel thing... but Cas' flustered awkwardness is just so damn adorable

I'm already deeply in love with Rowena and I can't wait for the whole hellish family drama to start

Donna is... not what I expected... but I definitely like her

why do I get the unshakeable feeling Dean hides something? oh yeah because the dumb shit usually does

good gracious, Cas... I know you want to make up for basically killing Jimmy but... a teenage girl? I think that is way over above your pay grade

dark!Charlie is really kinda hot... but I'd much rather have the the complete Charlie back

god I laughed so much during the teen!Dean ep... the whole thing was just hilarious... and the Hansel and Gretel side to it didn't make it better

but honestly can someone please explain to me why they wouldn't just look for the spell that witch used to make Dean a bit younger? just like 2 years or so until they find a final solution?

Claire says Cas looks better in a tie and suddenly he starts wearing them again? cute

so Cole... does he actually have a pupose or...?

I highly enjoy the drama going on in hell... but I'm also ready for them to go cross blades with the boys

oh Dean, why do you always go and break my heart?

so no crossing blades then, at least not with Crowley... but well I did also enjoy their little heart to heart quite a bit

poor Bobby... will that man ever get a fucking rest?

god those broken wings, hurts to see my angel like this, yet I am so very glad he finally got his own grace back

but couldn’t they just kill Metatron? that fucker is crating on my nerves and he’ll just come back and fuck them up and... christ I just want him gone

goddamnit Cas, lying to Dean never works out... why won't you ever learn?

Sammy! you know the same applies to you idiot! and Rowena? she's gonna fuck you over and have you for breakfast... I already love the whole drama that will go down

Benny! I know you are just a figment of Dean's imagination right now but damn I've missed you buddy

10x20 was... beautiful... these three idiots make such good fathers it's unreal

Dean is gonna be so pissed when he finds out

is it me or is the tension between Charlie and Rowena not entirely hostile? I mean I'd totally ship it

poor Cas... to put that socially weird guy in a situation as this is just cruel

Frankensteins?! as if this show isn't already weird enough, they had to pull the fucking Frankenstein family out of their asses

Charlie NO! 😭

I so hate it when Dean goes all kamikaze... that dumb idiot

with all due respect Sam, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!

you know, deamon!Dean was kinda fun, this end of season Dean? he's just downright heart-wrenchingly terrifying

I am not sure killing Death was a good idea...

uhm yeah, the end was... certainly... something... what the actual fuck?!

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Love Song for a Vampire Pt.16

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan, Jacob Black x Bella Swan

Warnings: break up?

Words: 2168

Summary: Sam calls a pack meeting with surprise guests.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39

Edward could smell (y/n)'s scent leaving. If he had any real use of his lungs, he would very much like to fill them with her fragrance. He strains his mind in another attempt to read (y/n)'s thoughts. Still nothing. Maybe he should just accept the fact that he would never again be able to read her inner thoughts again. He was so unsure of himself though. Edward craved for some sort of guidance in his situation. Carlisle, though he had proved to be a father figure many times before, could offer no help to his adoptive son. What did he know about wavering feelings? Carlisle from the beginning was set on marrying Esme when he reunited with her at the tender mortal age of twenty-six. His love for Bella, Edward thought, had been confirmed in Italy when she came to save him. He thought it miraculous. At that moment he had certainly been convinced that he would readily make Bella his wife.

Returning his focus back to Bella who was resting in his bed, Edward placed his chilled hand to her cheek. She was always remarkably pale even for a human but now her tone was truly bleached sheet white. He damns himself for not being fast enough to find her. Not given Victoria the time to use Bella's unique blood to feed her troops.

"Edward?"

He smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Groggy and careful in sitting up, her brown eyes have regained their lifeful shine. Bella practices in opening her dry mouth. Edward helped her drink some water to that she may speak. "I'm fine. A bit exhausted, but fine."

Where did he begin to apologize for his blunders. Allowing harm to come to Bella once again. He could only imagine the earful he would rightfully be receiving from Charlie once he saw his only child in such a state. perhaps he would even use that rifle of his and shoot at Edward although Charlie knew now that his daughter's boyfriend was not human. Hadn't been for a long time.

Bella, however, saved him from his never ending apologies. "I know I didn't leave on good terms with you." Her gaze is curiously fixated on her thin finger, unconsciously rubbing her left ring finger. Did she regret giving back his mother's ring? "And when I was stuck with the newborns. . . I had a lot of time to think about us."

Edward didn't like the way her tone dropped. It sounded like the end. "And?"

Finally, glossy tear glazed eyes turn up. She seemed so lost and sure of what was to come next. Her chapped bottom lip trembled. "I love you. More than I have with anyone else. But it's not enough. You said you don't love (y/n), but that won't stop what fate has written for you. In the end I'm just a human. I've heard what it's done to Sam and Leah." Even if their romantic relationship was ending, Bella needed Edward in her life. She didn't want to end up like bitter Leah. She couldn't go back to her normal human life knowing there were things such as werewolves and vampires that exist in the world. Walking among humans, them being none the wiser.

The Volturi's visit lingered in the back of his mind. "Do you not want me to turn you anymore?"

She's quiet before asking "What are the chances, if you do turn me, of me becoming like Victoria's newborns? Driven completely by blood lust and unable to think rationally. . . ?"

All newborns were alike in that manner. Born hungry, it was a constant chant of blood, blood, blood that helped newborns survive in their first few months. Eventually many grew out of their "infant" phase. Others. . . Others became like James, like Victoria. Even like Edward had been when he experimented with drinking human blood.

"You'll have us." He didn't really answer her question.

"Not anymore. . . Edward, I-I just can't be with you. Not if you'll end up with (y/n). And you will. that's how imprinting works."

"Bella-"'

"Even (y/n) tried to cut the tie of fate! Her and Sam almost go themselves killed." Her volume had risen, starling Edward. "That's what happens to people who try to change the predestined. I. . . Don't want to make things more difficult than they need be. Ha, I've already made things complicated. I don't want to do that anymore." Quickly the tears spilled forward and Bella was unable to hide them in time. It was breaking her heart.

Breaking his heart. That ice cold thing in his chest that hadn't beat in over a century. With Bella, there had been a love inside him like no other. From the moment he saw her in the cafeteria, catching the golden scent of a singer. The pain he had felt, thinking he had lost her, reminded him that Edward wasn't a numb being. He could still experience love, loss, pain and a plethora of other emotions humans experienced on a daily basis.

She had helped him to live again and not just simply exist in the shadows. He didn't want this to be the end. Not when he still loved her.

And what would the Volturi do to her when they found out Bella had change her mind about becoming a vampire?

There was so much he wanted to say. On the tip of his tongue lingered the refusal to break up with her. The lie that heavily weighed on his tongue that Edward wasn't in love with the wolf girl. It was impossible, right? He had hardly spent any time with her. Hardly knew the girl! Yet. . . Oh. . . he couldn't deny the delightful way she smiled, the way (y/n) understood him in a way that Bella could never. The way she was so self-aware and honest. And. .. Well, there was something primal as well in the attraction he was beginning to develop for her.

All he could do though was hold Bella in his arms as she wept.

***

The sun had already started to make its sloth-like way up into the sky, dispersing the gray of pre-dawn. Thankfully you found your parents still very much asleep. Gliding back to your room you close the door as quietly as possible so to not jar your parents awake. They were none the wiser of the danger you had been in and you would like to keep it that way. It could very well make your mother's hair go completely white with horror.

Small wounds you had received would prove difficult to explain to them. There was one that sliced from your shoulder to the edge of the skin above your scapula. Several slashes decorated your right forearm, still pink and irritated. You couldn't say that you took a terrible tumble. The wounds looked like they had been made from fingers. No easy explanation for that unless you convinced them that it had been caused by the other wolves. They knew what friendly scuffles amongst pack mates looked like.

Even now as you stretched your muscles out, the wounds open and bleed. Sharp and stinging, you suppress the hiss that nearly escapes you. Reminding yourself that by nightfall they would be healed, the last remnants of the battle with the newborns would be only scars.

Adrenaline remnants were still floating in your system, sleep evaded you as a result. You instead stare wide eyed up at the ceiling until the morning light finally breaks past your curtain.

Ebbing at you was exhaustion, red and bleary eyes trying their best to remain open. Not that closing them had done much help. The battle continuously replayed in your head.

Edward's body behind you.

The crunching of a newborn's neck.

Snow disorienting your senses.

Bella's blood drifting in the wild wind.

So vivid that you were nearly transported back to the battlefield. To the cacophony of madness that had lured out your inner animal. Partially scaring you had been that powerful feeling when you ripped apart a newborn. It made your blood sing in a away you had never experienced before.

An aggressive spirit had taken hold of you, and you liked the power it gave you. You had felt like a goddess of war.

Even cleaning and hiding your wounds did little to stop the shock on your mom and dad's face when you sit down for breakfast. Not getting much sleep was taking its toll on you. Reaching for your box of cereal that had already been kindly put out for you on the table, your arm knocked over a glass of orange juice.

"Shoot, sorry pop." Bustling with paper towels, your mom is faster at cleaning it up. Your movements were delayed, sluggish in a manner that was obvious.

Your dad, having only been partially splashed, regards you with that concerned parent look. "Did you not sleep well last night?"

"Not really. . . But I'm okay. I have to go over to Sam's for pack business." Rubbing your burning eyes, you couldn't imagine that much business would be discussed. The battle had been won. You could continue on with your life.

Well maybe after that you can come home and take a nap." Your mom suggested, placing her hand on your cheek. "You look exhausted, (y/n)."

Meekly smiling, you agree to return after Sam's. Maybe you'll actually be able to sleep this time.

You just had to survive this gathering.

Unfortunately you seemed to have shown up to a party. Sam and Emily's cars were accompanied by two others and Chief Swan's patrol vehicle.

Colin and Seth spoke in a hushed tone on the porch. On the steps was Jacob, Embry and Quil.

"What's going on?"

Neither boy jumped at the opportunity to explain to you. Jacob sighs, taking it upon himself. "The elders and Chief Swan were asked to come personally by Sam. He's waiting until everyone is here to explain."

Quil checks his phone. "I don't know why. Everyone in the pack is here."

Partially embarrassed by being the last one to arrive, you push it aside as curiosity took its place. Who else was Sam waiting for? You speak your question and everyone in the trio shrugs. Quil who had been holding an aluminum energy drink finishes it off with a dissatisfied sigh. From the way his eyelids were still drooping, you surmised it did little to help with his exhaustion.

"Alright you guys, get inside." Jared says, sticking his head out from the front screen door. He made Colin and Seth jump from the suddenness of his order and they scurry to get past him and inside.

"Hey Jared, who are we even waiting for anyone?" Jacob pipes up.

"Well if you get inside you'll have the answer to your question."

All of you grumble, unsatisfied by his vagueness but file in one after the other. Sam's house had never been big, no house in La Push was. The living room was filled to the brim and you squeeze your way behind the couch where the elders at across from a grave face Charlie Swan who had most likely seen better days. Had he visited Bella yet? You couldn't imagine the distress he had been going through since Bella's kidnapping.

"Nearly complete. We just need to wait for the Cullens."

That caused a rush of murmurs bouncing off the wall.

Cullens?

Eryld pales and you see him turn his head to check the reaction of his fellow elders. "Cullens?"

Sue who had her hands on Billy's wheelchair looks down at him with a pinch of fear.

Glen shifts uncomfortably next to Eryld. "What are you up to, Sam? You know the treaty-"

"The treaty is exactly why I have gathered us all here." Sam says firmly. His dark eyes land on you. "There are more monsters in this world. Vampires and other creatures alike. We can't turn a blind eye to them and we can't fight them alone. Plus, now our pack and the Cullens have a bridge. A bridge between wolf and vampire. (y/n)."

On cue, the sound of multiple sets of tires pull up into the Ueley property. Everyone went rigid and those who were near the windows peered out. No one knew how this meeting would conclude.

Charlie clears his throat and stands up. As somewhat neutral territory, he opens the front door and waits for the Cullens to get out of their cars. Your palms produced a film of sweat on them in mere seconds when you caught a whiff of Edward and the rest of his family. Quietly he greets Carlisle before stepping aside to let them in. Only Esme was not present and you guessed it was so she could keep an eye on a recuperating Bella. While most of the Cullens did their best to resist the urge to scrunch up their nose at the smell of so many wolves in one place, Rosalie failed to hide her distaste.

"Now we can begin."

-----------------------

TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch , @dangerouslittlefairy , @burn-crash-rqmance , @casedoina , @avadakadabra93 , @daryldixonstorm , @blue-aconite , @xanniestired666 , @esposadomd, @godinho11 , @arin-swear-rose , @alexizodd , @melaninsugarbaby , @lyeatoalinatoheaven  , @ronwownsme , @itsmytimetoodream , @afro-hispwriter , @mutandis-extremis993 , @hxgemxscles , @nightly-polaris , @corrodedcoffins-slut , @ellesalazar , @itgetzweird08

[awesomesaurous]

Hiya!! Your Maxlie art is absolutely adorable, and I love it when it’s on my dash!! You’re doin great :•)

And I’ve got a question: do you have any headcanons about Maxwell in the Constant interacting with the others? What about Charlie??

Other than that, have a great day!! You rock :•]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

For Maxwell in the Constant, I think at this point in the (loose) narrative, he still feels a little apart from the other survivors, but it's improving over time. I think he probably carries a lot of guilt, bitterness, and grief about everything that has happened, and he tries to hide that behind haughtiness and indifference. But I bet he's secretly glad to not be alone anymore. I think the others have largely forgiven him at this point. There's still some teasing (depending on the character), but I think for the most part they pity him.

I can interpret the "Charlie" part of the question two ways, so I'll answer both of them under the break (text wall incoming):

Charlie interacting with the survivors and/or Maxwell interacting with Charlie:

It's very difficult to know what Charlie's "deal" is. She, as well as everything having to do with Them and the greater powers at work in the Constant, have remained very vague, even after almost 10 years since the original Don't Starve was released. I imagine many victims have been on the throne before, variously tempted by the Codex Umbra and its powers, and then pulled into the Constant. I had a theory a while back that Wagstaff knew about the book and was trying to find it, but They decided William would be a better host and sort of nudged the hand of fate in his direction. I think the unique thing with Maxwell and Charlie is that this is the first time two people have been brought to the Constant at the same time - the dupe and the dupe's assistant. Maxwell dragged them both into this mess, and they both fell prey to different aspects of the Constant. Maxwell became the Puppet Master, on the Nightmare Throne, and Charlie became the Night Monster, bound to darkness. I think they were both subsumed by these forms, but Charlie more so. Their original personalities were suppressed by the dark forces surrounding them.

Since Maxwell was such a powerful wielder of the Codex, I think it granted him a lot of power as the ruling "King," which may have prevented Charlie in her Night Monster form from getting near him. I don't know if They were keeping the two separate, or if it no longer mattered, since they were both trapped now. I think Maxwell was aware of her, but possibly didn't have many chances to interact with her - whether because of the madness caused by her being the Night Monster or because Charlie was avoiding him on purpose (the sadder possibility). You know how in the "A New Reign" cinematic she's able to free Wilson from the throne? My thinking is that Maxwell's bonds were much stronger than Wilson's, otherwise she would have released him too. To not do so would be a level of spiteful that I don't think Charlie is. I hope not anyway.

Once Maxwell was deposed, now Charlie could take over, with the combined powers of the Night Monster and the Nightmare Throne. This, I think, has never happened in the Constant before, and I imagine it grants Charlie a unique level of control over the stuff happening there. We don't know the full scope of what she can do.

Charlie didn't bring any of the survivors into the Constant. Most of them are Maxwell's, and some of the others arrived by a freak chance. After being the Night Monster, where she was reduced to mindlessly attacking anyone who strayed too far from a light source, her personality is more stabilized as the Queen - though, like with Maxwell, it's the darker side of her nature. I think the original Charlie is still in there somewhere, but she's unreachable right now. Though there are little touches where she shines through - like the drop system, where she leaves presents of clothing for the survivors to find. I think this probably confuses the survivors, who aren't sure what to make of her. Most of them didn't know her in the real world, and the Queen version seems to keep her distance. I guess they have a cautious respect for her - with a healthy dose of fear.

I imagine Maxwell has willfully let himself be killed by the darkness more than once, in an attempt to make some contact with Charlie. In the game he calls her name every time. I think he feels an immense amount of remorse and regret for what happened, even more so in that he doesn't know how to fix it. I love drawing the pre-game stuff of the two of them being in love, but I don't see how Charlie couldn't be hurt and angry at Maxwell after they both get trapped. I'm hoping that she still cares about him, but in her current form I doubt she's very warm and fuzzy about anything.

The whole plot with Metheus and the "moon" or whatever the hell is going on there is also interesting. I think it'd be amazing if Charlie was playing some sort of long-term 4D chess game with all of the elements we've seen thus far. What if she has a plan to set everyone free? What if she knows of a viable way out that no one has been able to perceive before, because no one's been in her situation before? Maybe she's being just malicious enough to fool Them, just nice enough to reassure the survivors, and all while no one knows what her actual intentions are? God I hope so. I want there to be a good payoff to all of this, but I don't know how Klei would do it without ending the game. Possibly putting some other person on the throne in Charlie's place? I don't know. If it were up to me, there'd be a happy ending and a really touching reunion scene. But we'll see how it actually goes!

TL;DR: The survivors are accepting of Maxwell's redemption arc, Maxwell is guilt-ridden but he can't reach Charlie, the survivors can only guess at Charlie's intentions, and Charlie is keeping her motives a mystery for now.

[mischievouslittlecreature]

@evita-shelby I am squealing, omg, Juli this was so good! (So sorry I left you a whole ass essay under the cut I just got very excited 😅)

As I said in my comment on your teaser, I love seeing Tommy's POV of things and how much he loves both girls and longs for both of them. I love Eva for having the maturity and foresight to walk away from things before the bitterness could consume them all. And maybe this means that she, Tommy, and Lucy can all at least maintain a friendship between each other as they co-parent Charlie.

You handled the whole Freda situation really well. I like how you had Eva justify Billy's actions

but the dead have no notion of what goes on after anyways.

Maybe it's because I'm an atheist who's always been a little freaked out at the idea of death relatives/friends watching over me, but I love this line so much!

Good on Eva for not losing it upon seeing Tommy with Grace! I love how easily she can still read him, and how she's able to keep from rising to his attempts to goad her into causing a scene.

Lucy had been in such a state when Eva found her, ready to pull the trigger because Polly mistakenly blamed the Red Demon for ‘ruining’ their marriage. It had taken a lot of effort from the witch to explain that the fault was Eva’s for not thinking things through and focusing on her survival instead of the fact that their arrangement would destroy her.

The image of this, of Eva pulling the gun away from Lucy's temple and hugging her and reassuring her makes me 🥺. Like I told you in DMs, I think that it's vital that she and Eva had that talk and that Eva herself told her it wasn't her fault. Even if Lucy doesn't full 100% believe her and still somewhat blames herself, it was necessary for her to ever be able to feel okay with returning to Tommy at some point in the future.

“Don’t fuck him, I do not want to be the one they call to claim you at the morgue.”

I really love how worried for her you made him. While his possessiveness is definitely still at play here, it isn't the only thing motivating his attempts to sabotage things between them. He still cares for her and wants her to be safe 🥺.

I liked how you included Campbell in things here! It was a great way to weave everything together and provides some great connective tissue between the two men!

“Do you think she’ll come back with me?” Tommy Shelby asked knowing everything that leaves Eva’s lips is nothing but the truth.

The hope in this line! I just wanted to squish him here! 🥹

I loved how you connected the way Eva, Tommy, and Lucy all have fears about being too fucked up to love. It's a great way that all three of them are able to relate to and understand each other.

At long last, their chapters in each other’s life come to an end. Eva returns to Brilliant and enjoy the rest of the night while Tommy leaves to find the fairgrounds Lucy will be at tomorrow morning and hope she will choose to share her life with him after looking both ways.

Ahhhh it makes me so happy how hopeful this ending was! All four of them now have the chance to be happy! 🖤

If it's okay with you, I'd love to write something taking place in this universe with Tommy going to find Lucy at the fairgrounds and steadily coaxing her back to him. It may take me a little while to get to it as I wrestle with the last few parts of Love Me, but you've got the hamster wheels in my brain turning with ideas for this AU!

I love Eva and Billy to pieces! Please tag me if you write anymore for them or this particular universe! (No pressure of course though!) 🖤

Chase

part 2 for Vēnor and a conclusion for the Look Both Ways one shot

Lucy Winters belongs to @mischievouslittlecreature

taglist: @justrainandcoffee @mischievouslittlecreature @zablife @thegreatdragonfruta @wonderlanddreamer @kmc1989

cw: mentions of past murder, trauma, suicide attempt, mentions of a suicide, complicated feelings

Tommy hadn’t meant to hurt both women like this.

And yet, Lucy left him anyway, making him wonder if this was fate. It was a coin toss that had first led him to Eva's door after all.

As much as he still loves and yearns for Lucy, her departure had felt like a sign that perhaps he needed to try again with Eva and be the husband she needed the first time around.

He had done the impossible to make Eva reconsider, he had delayed the hearings, bribed the judge to force her to wait until Charlie was born and then nearly two years after that fateful day, Tommy could only watch her shut the door on him forever.

He loves Eva, even as she rages and rejects his every attempt at reconciliation, he loves her enough to give her his word that it will remain only the two of them if she’d only give him another chance to prove it. He used to be loyal to Greta once upon a time, he could be loyal to Eva if she only let him.

“You say that now, but the moment Lucy returns I would lose you again.” She had said and as always proved he’d find no better advisor than Eva Shelby, the witch had a space in his life that not even Polly or Lucy could fill. “The three of us would be miserable, I would be your bitter wife who hates the two of you, you would hate me for keeping you from her and she would hate me for the woman I would become because of you.”

She has never lied to him and wouldn’t do so now. Eva wanted out and he owed her that.

And yet, he refused to accede to her terms once again. He hated being alone and it didn’t help when everyone seemed to agree he should take his errant wife back and remind her that those who marry a Shelby die a Shelby. To them it was less about feelings and more about the reputation they’d lost because both Eva and Lucy left him.

His family had mixed feelings about Lucy, especially Polly who loathed Lucy and blamed her for the whole debacle with Grace and now, his failed marriage. Polly felt the direction he was taking in his life needed a woman who could make blue bloods eat from her palm, a woman who knew the future as well as she knew herself and most importantly, not Lucy.

“But you will always want Lucy, and I will never be enough for you. I need a husband who has no space for anyone else in his heart nor his bed.” There had been a note of resentment there.

The women had been warm to each other, friendlier than Lizzie had been with Lucy by a mile, but Eva could not love Lucy like Grace claimed she did. Eva had then admitted she never had the intention of sharing him when she said yes and whatever cordial feelings the women had would not survive Eva’s feelings of inadequacy and need for a man to be entirely hers.

“I can’t let you go.” Not you too.

Perhaps if Lucy had never left it would be easier to let Eva leave, but because his red demon was gone too, he knew he’d die without his witch.

Then there was her choice in men.

Tommy knows what he is, what he does and the number of people he has killed whether they deserved to die or not. He had never killed a woman, never would if God doesn’t hate him enough to force his hand.

Brilliant Chang had seduced his wife just as he had seduced the countless of women he had then discarded like yesterday’s garbage. Eva loved playing with fire, believed that because she is as otherworldly as Tommy is, she would remain unburnt.

She was fucking him; the Chinaman had let him know he’d taken her to his bed even if Eva moved with as little presence as a ghost. Chang had given him an olive branch in the form of a steady supply to the Eden after showing him its weaknesses, but Tommy Shelby will never trust that man especially with his wife and son.

Eva may not forgive him for this, but she’s left him no choice.

Taking the letters Grace had sent with her address in London ---because ,somehow, she’d known Eva had left him--- he asked to see her. And just like he’d known it, Grace readily takes up the offer to comfort him and believe she is woman enough to replace his darling witch.

Tommy could’ve taken May, or Lizzie or any woman he desired, but no other woman awoke Eva’s wrath like the blonde woman on his arm.

He doesn’t intend on fucking her, he can fuck without feelings, but Tommy knew he’d lose Eva forever if he even thought about doing it.

They loathed each other, knew they would be enemies because even when he and Lucy took her to bed, it was Eva who he desired as much as he desired Lucy.

Eva simply hated Grace because she lacked empathy for those not of her class and represented everything Eva loathed. Hated her even more when she set the police on Freddie for the crime of being a Jewish Communist and then for cashing in the bounty on Eva’s head by telling Campbell about it.

“You are perfect tonight.” He tells the woman on his arm who has no idea he is merely using her like she used him.

The Barmaid he and Lucy fell for was an illusion, Eva and Lucy were the real thing. Like comparing a light bulb to the sun.

Billy’s notoriety had taken a strange turn after she gave him every question he’d be asked at the trial.

Freda Kempton had been a loose end threatening to destroy his empire, Brilliant went from becoming the cruel lover who killed her to the friend who had tried to help her only for her to become the scorned woman intent on framing him for her suicide.

A cruel thing to do to the poor girl, but the dead have no notion of what goes on after anyways. Besides, she had been about to rat out Billy and, as horrid this business is, too many people were at stake.

But the man survived to see another day and his reputation survived just enough to keep him in Regent Street and change the way he runs things. He won’t do any of the recruiting personally anymore, now the more charming and good-looking soldiers in his triad would be doing that for him. As far as the world will know, Brilliant Chang really is a businessman who had been the victim of a poor mad girl in love with him.

His infamy had allowed Eva to weasel an invitation to a party in Charlie Chaplin’s honor out of her not quite distant cousin, Wag Macdonald.

The dress had been in the style of Shanghai, a cheongsam, that didn’t follow the modern fashions enough to hug her figure and make the women here die of envy. Black satin with gold embroidery and piping to match her simple yet costly jewelry.

“It looks better on the floor.” Brilliant comments as they steal the show from the man of the hour.

Eva has rather liked this.

The freedom to do as she pleases with a man who excites her and has no desire for anyone else. The thrill of the hunt and best of all, knowing Tommy’s yet to ruin this for her.

“Soon, we do not have to stay long, just enough to---” Eva cannot finish her words before she sees them.

Tommy with the blonde bitch on his arm.

Eva knows him like the back of her hand, knows that he is doing this to cause such a scene it will kill any desire Brilliant could have for her. Tommy wants to push her into letting her loathing of Grace appear like jealousy towards him and ruin her relationship with Billy with her own hands.

But Eva will be damned if she let him win like this.

“Mr. Shelby, at long last we finally meet.” Brilliant towers over her former husband being just a whisker away from being six feet tall.

Eva would say this was intentional, as it had been with her previous lovers, but she had never seen the man upright until that day he left his private room to join her. That his height allowed him to prick Tommy’s jealousy even more was a pleasant surprise.

Once upon a time, Eva had viewed her being the same height as Tommy as another sign they were soulmates and equals, but now it served as a weapon to hurt him for continuing to hurt her.

“I am not fond of meeting those my wife—” Tommy begins only to be corrected by the two women.

“Ex-wife.” One said it as a reminder it was over for good, the other trying to be seen as something else beyond an ornament on his arm.

He hadn’t needed to finish the sentence to let Billy know he thinks he will be anything more than a flash in the pan and have Grace piece together why Tommy would seek her out.

“Brilliant Chang.” Billy ignored the jab and introduced himself to the two of them.

“The murderer?” the blonde asks with interest and Billy winces at being known as only that.

“Acquitted.” Eva answers cutting their talk short. Tommy wanted her to cause a scene, for her to be the one driven to madness and yet she would not give him that.

“He wants a scene; I will not give him the pleasure.” The witch tells the man beside her who smiles agreeing with her strategy.

“Shall we enjoy ourselves at his expense, sweetheart?” Billy asks, leaning close enough for her to feel his breath at the shell of her ear.

“Great minds think alike.” Eva moved slightly and kissed her date knowing it’s killing Tommy to see her be happy with Brilliant Chang of all people.

Fuck him. Fuck Tommy and his blasted possessiveness.

She is an adult woman who has killed more people than Tommy, Lucy and Brilliant have combined, Eva knows what she’s doing and has the fucking foresight to know Billy would not hurt her. Hell, he hasn’t even fucked other women since they began seeing each other –which could not even be said about Tommy.

The witch should just tell him where Lucy is and make him her problem.

The redhead had found her aunt and mother through some Lees, this time with them would allow her to heal in a better environment. It would allow her to choose Tommy knowing she is free to have opinions and desires that do not always align with Tommy’s.

Lucy had been in such a state when Eva found her, ready to pull the trigger because Polly mistakenly blamed the Red Demon for ‘ruining’ their marriage. It had taken a lot of effort from the witch to explain that the fault was Eva’s for not thinking things through and focusing on her survival instead of the fact that their arrangement would destroy her.

Tommy and Lucy could love others and have no issue with that. Eva could only see it as not being enough just as she was not enough for Diosdado, who fucked any woman that looked his way, and Antonia, who loved Francisco and the safety of a husband more than risking it all with Eva in Paris.

Eva needed a man ---while she loved both men and women, she had to agree with Toña that the security a husband provided was vital for living in this time--- who is satisfied with just her, someone who can give her his heart and soul as wholeheartedly as the witch does.

And now that she has found him, Tommy is hellbent on ruining that.

When his initial strategy does not work, he corners her in the lavatory while some investors hang on to Billy’s words about taking a risk with his import business.

“Do not fuck her, she is here for fertility treatments and a reason to leave her husband for you.” Eva doesn’t look up knowing she’ll want to break the mirror the way she’d want to make his and Grace’s heads explode with her mind.

“Don’t fuck him, I do not want to be the one they call to claim you at the morgue.” Tommy makes his argument as clear as he did when he confronted her in the parlor of her house.

“I have killed more people than you and him combined, I am more like him than you think.” The dark-haired woman reminded her former lover and husband of her past. She abhors the idea of taking another life after all the killing she did in the war and what she did to Leopoldo Carranza.

Leopoldo who loved her and believed her to be true. She had made him believe he was Haemon to her Antigone and his father the cruel King Creon, so when his father quietly ordered her assassination mere days before her escape, the young man killed himself from the horror of it all.

He was the last life Eva took and would ever take.

“You did not do that on purpose. Billy Chang---”

“Eats and drinks everything he buys for me to prove he has no ill intentions, agrees to keep away from Charlie to assure you he won’t harm him and no longer seduces chorus girls to deal his cocaine for him.” the witch assures the devil, she is in safe hands with the lady-killer waiting for her outside.

“Could be an act for all you know, it was how he got his victim.” The gangster points out as if Eva didn’t know better.

“Freda was going to turn him in, and his uncles demanded he silence her. Billy didn’t know Campbell expected him to do exactly that so he could have something on him.” Brilliant could’ve explained it himself, but Tommy wouldn’t have let him get a word in. “You’re not the only one he’s come after, apparently.”

“Noted, but it still doesn’t make it better. I could make you happy if you let me.” His pained looks used to weaken her defenses enough to let him try and change her mind. They no longer held the same power over her as it did then.

They finally get to the part where its not a matter of safety but the heart.

“You are only saying this because you don’t have Lucy.” The witch finally deigns to look at him though the glass. “She still loves you, she is just finding out who is as an individual, you know. The Lovells are exactly who she needed to do that, being her kin and all.”

He had no idea who she was traveling with, he knew her mother was a Lovell, but he had never been able to track them down. Always too late and never knowing where they’d be going next.

And then when Charlie was born, he stopped looking for her because if Lucy wanted to be found, the red demon would’ve let it happen already.

“Do you think she’ll come back with me?” Tommy Shelby asked knowing everything that leaves Eva’s lips is nothing but the truth.

“Eventually, women fall too easily into your arms, your next wife should be allowed all the time she needs to look both ways before she jumps.” The witch smiled and turned to face him knowing this is the last time he will ever try to stop her from seeking her own happiness.

Hopefully Tommy will take the hint and make an honest woman out Lucy instead of unintentionally making another woman as miserable as Eva was with them.

“You know what she thinks about marriage, but you have never lied to me and if you say Lucy will be the next Mrs. Shelby, then it will happen come hell or high water.” Tommy Shelby’s sorrows melt away as her words sink in. He fears he is too fucked up too love ---as if Eva and Lucy couldn’t give him a run for his money--- a very real fear all three share strangely enough.

But Eva has always known the sun always rises again and just like she told them, it has.

At long last, their chapters in each other’s life come to an end. Eva returns to Brilliant and enjoy the rest of the night while Tommy leaves to find the fairgrounds Lucy will be at tomorrow morning and hope she will choose to share her life with him after looking both ways.

[wormstacheangel]

Suptober Day 2: No Vacancy

wc: 1.1k tags: mutual pining, my beloved <3

It’s all the same thing. Motel after motel, they all said the same thing, no vacancy. Over and over, they mocked the too-tired hunters who just wanted a bed, any bed at the moment. Then, finally, Dean didn’t care anymore. He just wanted somewhere to rest his head that wasn’t his overly cramped car.

“Dean, just pull into the hotel.” Sam pointed at the big building that stood lakeside with a beautiful mountain view.

“Dude, even with Charlie’s magical card, I know it’s gonna be too much.” Dean talked while pulling into the hotel parking lot. Dean stopped out front and gave his wallet to Sam, “Just get whatever they have available. The kid’s neck is gonna hurt if he keeps sleeping like that.”

Dean motions to the back seat, where Jack sleeps on Cas’s shoulder.

“Got it.” Sam carefully closed the door behind him to make sure not to wake him before he headed inside.

The car was silent for a moment before Cas asked, “The lake looks beautiful. Maybe I’ll take a walk while you all rest.”

“Just don’t go exploding in it.” Dean tried to joke, but it came out too bitter, and he winced away from Cas’s gaze in the rearview mirror.

“I was just thinking of a nice stroll, actually. Maybe skip some stones if I get really bored waiting for you to wake up.” Cas kept his voice even, casual, and Dean was thankful. “But I’ll happily wait. For you.”

Dean looked back at the mirror, only for Cas to look away suddenly.

Cas cleared his throat, his head turning to hide his face into Jack’s sweat-covered hair. “To wake up. I’ll wait for you to wake up.”

Dean felt the warmth grow in his chest as the hope crumbled again. “Yeah. Yeah, course.”

Silence filled the cabin. The only noise was Dean’s constant finger drumming and muffled noise around them. So when Dean saw Sam walk back, giving them a thumbs-up, he felt relief—watching his brother get back in the car and point at where they should park.

“They only gave us one room, but it has two queens and a pullout couch.” They walked back to the hotel, duffle bags swung over their shoulders, while Sam explained the gist. “Figured we give one bed to Jack, and we can play for the other.”

“I can take the couch.” Jack insisted, but Dean waved his words away.

“No way. You used way too much mojo last hunt. You need the rest.” So they all cramped up the elevator and headed to the fifth floor. Sam apparently got them a nice view. It was the only room available apparently, coincidentally it was also really expensive. “I’ll take the couch.”

“No arguments here.” Sam was the first one out of the elevator, and they all followed him until they got to their room. “Wow.”

Dean whistled. “Shit. We should do hotels more often.”

“It actually smells clean,” Cas commented in disbelief--the brothers both took a deep inhale and gave each other an approving glace--while Jack pushed ahead to fall into one of the beds.

“Dude, it has a small kitchen.” Sam dropped his stuff on the other bed next to Jack before gently patting Jack’s leg. “Take a shower first. You’ll feel better.”

Dean walked over to the couch and quickly took out to the bed as Cas and Sam tried to convince Jack to shower. Dean didn’t look up as he took out his pajamas. He simply cleared his throat to get the kid’s attention before saying, “Jack. Shower. Go.”

Jack groaned, kicking his legs off the bed, and headed to the bathroom. Dean gave his brother and Cas a smug look while they rolled their eyes back at him.

They were all soon clean and tucked into bed. Even the damn couch mattress was better than any motel. And yet, Dean didn’t sleep.

He thought he was going to pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow but instead, Instead, he felt like he finally got the energy to drive them the rest of the night home. There was no noise to keeping him awake or an annoying, blinking light in his eyes. Nope. This is the most comfortable he has been in days, yet all he can think about is Cas sitting on the balcony, reading a book under the moonlight.

Dean could see the angel from where he lay in bed and didn’t want to miss the exciting moment when Cas licked his finger to turn a page. A habit he picked up from God knows where and while Dean would have found it disgusting if anyone else had done that, he was mesmerized by the way Cas’s tongue poked out to wet his finger.

In the glowing moonlight, Dean thought he could find the courage to say something. Anything.

“Staring is rude.” Cas’s voice is low, and yet it still made Dean jump out of his skin. “Or so I have been told.”

He didn’t look up from his book, and yet Dean could hear the amusement in his voice. Cas was teasing him.

Dean got up from his cocoon of blankets-- course, they got extras-- and headed outside to join the wide awake angel.

“Thought you were gonna take a walk.” Dean leaned against the door frame with his hands shoved into his sweatpants pockets. Watching as Cas looked up from his book with a small smile.

“I may still do that. But I also wanted to enjoy the view.” Cas motioned towards the mountains and the lake that shinned with the moon’s glow. He shut his book, watching Dean as he moved closer to the balcony but didn’t dare go to the edge. It was quiet again, but this time it was comfortable.

“I also figured,” Cas got up from his seat to join Dean. He was copying his stance while brushing their arms together. “That maybe you would be a little worried if I left. But I could be wrong.”

Dean could feel the warmth run up his face because he wasn’t wrong, Cas and lakes were never a good combination. But, instead of answering, Dean gently nudged Cas with his elbow. Not looking at him while stepping a little closer. It was cold out there; it made sense to huddle up.

They stood looking at the view for a while until Cas wrapped his coat around Dean’s shoulders. Until Dean felt his friend supported his whole body weight. Until Dean felt arms practically carry him inside, holding him until morning came. Hearing whispers as fingers gently touch his skin. So carefully like he does when he flips a page of his favorite book.

“You’re worth waiting for.” Dean wasn’t sure if he felt lips on his head, but he tugged the blanket of warmth closer. “Go to sleep, Dean. I’ll be here when you wake.”

His hands didn’t loosen their grip. Knowing damn well, this hotel was worth every penny if he finally got to sleep like this.

[creativeashproductions]

Hiking Buddy // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Once upon a time you could joke that quaratine bordom was the cause of the mass amount of 2020 pregnancies. Well you could until you found yourself in the same boat...or shall we say crib?? Go on the journey as Y/N reveals the pregnancy to Charlie and later their friends.

Warnings: Swearing, talk of vomiting, pregnancy, and fluff.

Words: 2.5k

Requested: Yes. Anon

A/N: Someone asked for dad!Charlie and I couldn’t resist.

Please ask to be tagged in my inbox because I can’t promise you will be through commenting on the posts!

I take requests as well!

Masterlist

Pulled from deep in your chest was a groan at the dizziness rushing from the bedroom into the bathroom. The tile floor cool to the touch as your body was flush on the bathroom floor recovering from the bout of sickness. The fortunate thing about the pandemic was that you had no obligations taking you out of the home. Sitting up, you sat back against the white porcelain tub grimacing at the bitter aftertaste of your date with the toilet.

Slowly you found your grounding enough to shakily stand on two feet to brush your teeth to get rid of the nasty aftertaste. Your eyes found the pale expression of your reflection fading as nausea faded as well.

“This is tainting naps for me.” You muttered under your breath, washing your hands before proceeding to splash your face.

Your social media had been flooded with many people in your personal life and celebrities announcing pregnancies. You and Charlie often made teasing remarks about if people were so bored. Guess you couldn’t joke about it anymore.

Your hand splayed across the bare skin under the band shirt hanging loose on your form with a small smile. It had been a hectic year getting married to Charlie while filming the first season of Julie and the Phantoms. The plan had been to wait a few years to enjoy your careers and marriage before children. Get more established in the film industry as a woman was necessary, but you couldn’t get mad. This child would be a gift.

“I’d appreciate if I don’t have gross cravings okay? I have to put up with your dad’s questionable food combinations. I may throw up looking at it.” You muttered smiling at the smooth skin you couldn’t wait to grow into a bump.

At the beginning of the pandemic, you, along with Charlie, had flown back to Canada. Living outside of city limits, Charlie was able to still hike and meet up with family in a safe condition. You grew more as a couple as well.

Turning the light off in the bathroom, you made your way to slip your faux fur lined grey and burgundy moccasins—the mid-afternoon sun shining through the windows of the bedroom giving a picturesque view of the forest. Charlie was more than likely in the home gym you had thrown together once arriving at the home.

“I have an idea a little one.” You spoke to the little life you carried inside your womb. After the positive pregnancy and your confirmation with the OB/GYN, you had ordered a few items.

First, it was baby-sized pair of hiking boots to go with a forest green, that matched Charlie’s eyes, onesie with black lettering. The lettering saying ‘And so the Adventure Begins’. The background had with trees and mountains. As nature enthusiasts, you thought it would be perfect.

The box had arrived early this morning when Charlie had been in the shower giving you time to hide it. Now you just had to mention you wanted to go hiking with him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Charlie spoke, kissing your forehead as he walked into the home. His first instinct to grab a snack after his workout, “How was your nap?”

“Energized me. Hey, are you too tired to go on a short hike?” You questioned filling a glass with water to hand to him. His smile was thanks enough as he tugged you to sit in his lap.

“We haven’t gone on one in quite a while. What brought it on?” Charlie asked, wrapping his arms around to finish his protein bar. His chin coming to rest of your shoulder familiarly; you relaxed into his chest.

“It’s a nice day. We’ve been cooped up in the house for a while. Just wanna get out.” You replied heart doing a flutter when his arms wrapped around your midsection.

“Let me get a few things,” Charlie spoke gently, pushing you up to the job to the spare bedroom. The closet kept the supplies you used for hikes, like the first aid kit that he started bringing after you cut your knee once.

As he collected the items, you quickly changed into clothing acceptable for the hike and shoving the things into the backpack. Slipping it on, you met your husband at the front door lacing up your boots. Charlie lifted the house keys in his hands before he tugged you outside, excited for the escape. His hand never leaving yours, you found the well-used trail you had explored countless times.

“Are you feeling better?” Charlie asked, swinging your hands together, refusing to release his grip. His eyes glancing over to catch your expression.

“I think I was overtired.” You replied, keeping your eyes on the trail looking for the rock you wanted to use.

Charlie’s phone was pulled out to make a short video.

“Get yourself a partner that suggests a hike before you.” Charlie slowed to press a kiss to your flushed cheek, “No but seriously. I’m incredibly lucky to have someone like my wife here.”

“Oh, shush.” You snickered as he intentionally pulled you to a stop to press kisses all over your face. His grin and his love would melt the hearts of his followers. Charlie returned the phone to his pocket as he hummed the melody to Unsaid Emily.

“Be right back.” Charlie spoke, squeezing your hand as he jogged to the forest, “I drank too much coffee this morning!”

You couldn’t help the laugh at his blunt words and his typical caffeine intake, but it gave you the perfect opportunity. Using the limited time, you were quick to place the onesie on the rock with the baby hiking boots near the shoulder. You had forgone on asking for a sonogram picture so you could share that moment with Charlie.

“I always forget to pee before we leave the house. Good thing we live near nature.” Charlie spoke jogging closer to where you were hiding the items behind you.

“Do you think green or mine?” You asked, bringing an expression of confusion on your husband’s face. He stepped closer halting when you stepped to the side, “I think yours. I love your eyes.”

Charlie was frozen entirely at the surprise you had planted in his short absence. He didn’t even notice he had moved until the soft cotton of the onesie brushed his fingertips. With his attention solely on the boots, he hadn’t seen you had a stepped up a camera to catch his reaction.

“Are those…?”

“They won’t need the boots in our arms, but I thought we could match.” You continued shifting with the camera to catch his wonder-filled gaze. His expression melted your heart as he gently caressed the side of the boot from his crouched position.

“We’re-“

“-getting a new hiking buddy.” You finished beaming as Charlie lunged you swing you in his arms, “Okay Char. I’d prefer not throwing up again.”

Charlie stumbled back glancing around the area, “I love how you surprised me, but what if you had fallen? I can’t have my loves hurt.”

 “Charlie. We’re on an easy trail, not Everest. I’m fine.” You deadpanned watching his cheeks flush at your response, “But I would like to get home. I’m so hungry.”

September 2020

Emma Roberts, Sasha Pieterse, Bindi Irwin, High School Music alumni Ashley Tisdale, and Hilary Duff were only a handful of celebrities welcoming babies. If hiding your marriage with Charlie was hard during filming, hiding the pregnancy was harder with your friends. Especially hitting seven months with a big bump concealed with camera angles.

You wanted to keep the news under wraps, so the media focused on the show, not your pregnancy at an early age. Of course, your friends were suspicious of Charlie’s posts and stories, not showing their favourite Gillespie. Carolynn knew just by the fullness of your face barely noticeable to the others.

“Oof.” You breathed wincing at the sharp kick to your ribs from Sprout. Charlie’s concerned gaze glancing over from his interview.

Swiftly rubbing the area, the kick happened your fingers returned to flip the page of the pregnancy book. You had grown used to the concern Charlie carried, he always had his phone fully charged on his hikes. Hikes you hadn’t taken since you surprised him with the little boots; it had been a disagreement, but you got where he was coming from.

“I’m fine, Charles.” You spoke, forcing him to turn his attention back to the closing interview. Once he turned the camera off, he rushed over to crouch in front of the couch, placing his hands on your stretched belly.

“Thought we had a deal Sprout.” He cooed caressing the band shirt covering your stretched skin, “Don’t hurt your mama.”

Your face twisted as the baby shifted, while you were enthralled by the fact you were carrying a child it felt like an alien. It was weird feeling something move inside and kick your damn inside like a fucking soccer ball.

“I can’t wait for the baby to be out.” You groaned, hiding the smile as Charlie’s lips pressed against your belly. You couldn’t wait to see him interact with his child.

“I say we name him Luke.” Charlie teased shifting you ahead so he could slide behind you in the usual position. His fingers immediately massaging your stiff shoulders and neck.

“I like Alex better. He’s the best Phantom.” You retorted reaching up to hold his hands, “Sensitive and his sarcasm? Immaculate.”

“We can table the options at a later time.” Charlie quickly replied chuckling as you moved position once more to rest against his chest. His fingers finding their way into your silky hair, pregnancy hormones had sped up hair growth.

“Hey-“ Your words fractured as your phone buzzed with a FaceTime request from Jeremy. Charlie quickly answered with a snicker as your response was cut off.

Jeremy’s eyes narrowed at the sight of you two on your couch, “My wife and I had drinks with our family. Carolynn slipped and told me something interesting.”

You and your husband froze as Carolynn sheepishly joined her husband in their white bedroom with a quick apology. Guess the cat was out of the bag.

“You guys are having a kid?” Jeremy asked, taking in the two actors he had quickly become good friends with during filming. His mind recalling a moment at his wedding when you guys had disappeared for a good twenty minutes.

March 2020

The Shada wedding had been gorgeous and like a dream to see someone you saw as a brother find his other half. Your hand was kept tight in your husband’s sitting among Owen, Tori and Kenny himself. Owen had snuck himself and Tori wine while Kenny turned his eye to the underage drinking.

“Wanna take a walk?” Charlie murmured in your ear as Jeremy and Carolynn made their way around their guests. His hot breath sending a chill down your spine as his left hand came to rest on your thigh.

The romantic atmosphere with the wine you had had during dinner lowered your inhibitions that you and Charlie snuck to the less used bathroom. You two quickly gave evidence that wedding hookups were very real. You managed to sneak back into the reception where dancing was taking place; a perfect story to why you and Charlie were a little dishevelled.

“Hey!” Owen called seeing you two join him on the floor. The wine had blinded his view of the very obvious couple, Owen knew from catching you two what a quickie appearance looked like.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink Bud.” Charlie spoke to the teenager as Jeremy made his way over to his friends, “Congrats Jer!”

“Thanks, man! When will we get the Gillespie wedding we didn’t get?” Jeremy called over the music beaming when his new wife plastered herself to Jeremy.

“Maybe in the next year.” You retorted twirling in Charlie’s arms thanks to the dance lessons of boot camp.

“Oh my god. Little Gillespie was conceived at our wedding.” Jeremy spoke, leaning back to his wife, “You’d be due in November, right?”

Your cheeks burned as Jeremy and Carolynn put the pieces together swiftly, “Well can we keep this a secret until October? I don’t want to take attention away from the show.”

“You should tell the others.” Jeremy suggested squeezing his wife’s hand, “They might think Charlie kidnapped a baby otherwise.”

Agreeing to announce to your friends Charlie had set up a video hangout with Owen, Mads, Savannah, Jeremy and even Kenny. It was in the later evening with the hiking boots out of shot and your shirt and belly below the camera view.

“Hey, guys!” Charlie greeted his friends as everyone entered the video, “Insane how many fan edits there are!”

“So cool!” Mads beamed addressing Kenny, “Thanks for giving me the chance to be involved in the coolest project.”

“You did all the work.” Kenny waved it off, taking in the cast of one of his favourite projects to date. You all meshed together so perfectly even if your character was only recurring like Sav.

“Hey, Kenny can we get your opinion on something?” You asked, gaining everyone’s attention and excitement after only using texting with the group. Morning sickness and fatigue had depleted your desire to be physically seen.

Kenny nodded, leading you to grab the baby hiking boots, “Do you think these are adequate enough to run from the witches?”

It was utterly silent as Charlie raised the little plaque he had ordered. The plaque included the Hocus Pocus witches in front of a cream moon, faces featureless other than eyebrows and lips. The corner had a cobweb with a little spider and just under it said ‘Winnie, I smell…a child’ with the pregnancy test snug in the cut out. Your favourite was the ‘it’s just a bunch of hocus pocus’ under the test.

“No way!” Owen screamed as all hell broke loose with the others. Charlie beamed at the sheer excitement on their faces.

“You’re having a baby?” Kenny murmured with a smile at the touching announcement and acting being involved.

“Charlie suggested the Hocus Pocus theme because we may have kept it to ourselves and our family?” Your voice went up a few octaves as the truth broke free.

“You haven’t had the kid, right?” Mads questioned peering in the background behind you finding nothing.

“Hopefully we have our hiking buddy in November on the due date. I don’t want to overdue, this kid weighs a ton.” You moaned snuggling into Charlie’s side, “We defin-“

“Jer’s wedding.” Owen interrupted with narrowed eyes, “You disappeared and came back with-“

“-O there is a child present.” Sav joked getting Mads to scoff at her, but everyone made a face as they recalled your disappearing act.

“Oh, your house must be filled with gross food combos. I hope the baby gets Y/N’s looks and taste buds.” Mads called hanging up before Charlie could retort at her. His eyes rolled, but the smile told another story, but slowly each of their friends said their goodbyes.

“At least Owen won’t go spilling the news to anyone.” You snorted playing your hand on Charlie’s large one splayed across your tummy.

You had a lot to thank Kenny for too. Without being cast by him, you wouldn’t have met your friends which in turn would mean you wouldn’t have been at Jer’s wedding. That would have been tragic since his marriage is the sole reason you had a child due in two months.

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED! I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ON THE LIST VIA POST COMMENTS!)

@safehavenmuse @siennanoelle01 @whiterose291 @mell-bell @blackhood5sos @ficrecsideblog @ifilwtmfc @deadpoolgirl23 @crappy-unicorn @sunsetcurve-h @elioelioeli0 @lovesanimals @popcrone818 @lolychu @deepsleepnat @tenaciousperfectionunknown @aunicornmademedoit @just-a-writer-here @simp4reggie @parkeret @faithiebrock01 @overlyhypedup @differentsoulrascalsalad @aesthetic-lyss @versaceapa @carleywhittaker @lostgirl219 @itsalexx21 @elllaoo4 @merxxleighann @mediocremunge @fantomlovesjuke4ever @dpaccione @oswin05 @kaylinfayezink @aberette13 @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @eharvey0218 @overlyhypedup @benstormy @auriandthepussicats @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @whothefuckstolemykeds  @siriuswvrld​ @princessvader15​ @xoxbloodreinaxox @heimdoodle​ @joshy-obx​ @lovesanimals​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @am3l1a-24 @flying-solo-without-you​ @jaskiers-sweetkiss​ @lostrandomfangirl​n @must-be-a-weasley-92​ @jatp-holland​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @dxlanhxlland​ @dasexydevitt13​ @ifilwtmfc @arianagrandes-things @kinda-really-lost​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​ @ssprayberrythings​​ @morgandamrose @thedarkqueenofavalon​ @zukoshonourr​ @crybabyddl @spooky-season-bitch​ @kcd15​ @morganayennefertyrell @magnet-girl​ @all-in-fangirl​

[lifeofkaze]

When Stars Ignite - Chapter 38

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N: KC belongs to @kc-and-co and David Willows (in mention) belongs to @that-scouse-wizard

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: Language

~~~

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

~~~

This work is a collaboration with @the-al-chemist

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @night-rhea @carewyncromwell @thatravenpuffwitch @anthamariemayfair

Shot through the heart and you're to blame

You give love a bad name

I play my part and you play your game

You give love a bad name

~ Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name ~

Orion watched as Lizzie jumped off the tour bus as soon as its doors were opened wide enough for her to squeeze through. She walked towards the petrol station at a brisk pace, her ponytail swinging behind her.

He couldn’t really blame her for wanting to get out. Orion was sorry for the harshness of what he had said to her; he knew her well enough to see how hurt she had been.

But Lizzie wasn’t the only one in a bad place at the moment, and if it took Orion being this drastic for her to see it, it couldn’t be helped; not that there was any way of taking back what had been said anyway.

Orion hadn’t meant to sound bitter, but the words had slipped out of his mouth before he’d had a chance to stop them. His anger and hurt about the whole situation had gotten the better of him, like it did so often these days.

He fervently wished his old self back, which wouldn’t have been as unsettled as he was these days. But the more he tried to find himself again, the more he felt his balance slip away.

Lizzie might think he was being dramatic, but there was nothing exaggerated about his situation.

He hadn’t lied when he’d said that he had trouble eating or sleeping; his mind was constantly reeling, his thoughts running in circles, and whenever he picked up his guitar, all he could think about was this one melody that had no place in either his head or his heart anymore.

The more he tried pushing it away, the louder it sounded, and took his breath away with longing. Orion wished he could just shut his ears to it but there was no running from his own thoughts.

As a result, the song Ethan so vehemently demanded of him wasn’t more than a heap of crumpled sheets of paper, filled with crossed out lines and riffs. No matter what Orion started, he hated it before having even played three chords in a row.

He knew he had to come up with something, anything at this point; he didn’t care anymore if it was hit material or not. If it meant Ethan would leave him alone about the song he was trying to forget, he would rewrite fucking ‘Wonderwall’, if he had to.

The rest of the band and crew, who had been riding on the second bus, had dispersed all over the service station to get coffee or lunch, or stretch their legs on the burnt speck of lawn beside it.

Orion was feeling like neither; he sat down in the shadow of a tree in the dry grass and took out the notebook he was carrying everywhere with him these days.

He flicked right over the pages containing the unfinished lyrics he didn’t want to look at anymore, but his mind started wandering the instant he tried concentrating.

Out of habit he searched the scattered groups of people for Lizzie. She hadn’t come out of the service station yet; she was probably having lunch with Charlie, Orion thought and felt a sting inside his heart. Lizzie and Charlie were inseparable these days; Orion had been surprised she had accepted being on a different bus than him.

He tried returning to his discouragingly empty page but got distracted yet again when he saw Lizzie step out of the service station. She seemed a lot calmer than she had been before, and Orion thought he could even see the hint of a smile on her face.

Artemis came after her a moment later, her eyes trained onto Lizzie’s back and a slight frown on her face.

After a short while, they were joined by Charlie, who pocketed his phone before raising his voice to get their attention.

“Listen up, everyone,” he called over the parking space, “who’s in for a round of football? Winners drink for free tonight.”

Most of the crew quickly flocked together, with Lizzie and Charlie picking their teams. Naturally, Lizzie chose David for her team first, no surprises there.

Lizzie briefly glanced over to him but looked away again and voted Skye on her team instead.

When Charlie shot a questioning look in Orion’s direction as well, he shook his head and nodded towards his notebook. With a shrug, Charlie turned his back on him and the two teams walked onto their makeshift pitch.

Orion watched as they took their sides and kicked off the ball Charlie had fetched from the tour bus. The match was heating up quickly; the promise of free drinks never failed to spur them on.

Orion tried blocking out his surroundings to turn his focus on the inside. He stared at the notebook on his knees, tapping the end of the pencil against his lips thoughtfully.

“What are you working on?”

Orion looked up in surprise; he had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t even noticed KC approaching him. With an exhausted sigh she slumped down next to him and peered over his shoulder.

Not wanting to let even one of his best friends see the creative slump he was in, Orion quickly closed the book.

“Some things are better shared when ready,” he said evasively. “And this one here is far from ready, I’m afraid.”

He noticed the flustered state KC was in; she was fanning herself with her hand, holding her red hair away from her neck. No wonder she was feeling hot, Orion thought; as usual, KC was head to toe dressed in black.

“Are you done playing already?”

“I got disqualified for flirting with the ref,” KC grinned and blew a kiss in Murphy��s direction, who shook his head at her.

Both of them watched the others play in silence for some time. No matter how hard he was trying, Orion’s eyes returned to Lizzie over and over again.

He frowned when he watched Charlie grabbing Lizzie by the back of her shirt to prevent her from outplaying him. He brought his arms around her from behind and held her fast until Artemis had relieved her of the ball.

“That’s a foul, Charlie!” Lizzie exclaimed, her protest turning into a squeal when Charlie started tickling her. “Do something, Murphy!”

Murphy went to reprimand Charlie and Orion looked away from the scene.

“She doesn’t seem too upset now, does she?” he said quietly.

Lizzie had shoved Charlie away, sticking her tongue out to him, before performing the free kick Murphy had awarded her.

KC regarded him doubtfully. “That’s only for show, you know that just as well as me.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” KC snorted.

Her voice became a little softer. “You didn’t hear that from me, but she’s been crying a lot lately. She tries not to let anyone see, especially you, but she can’t fool me.”

Her blue eyes were sad and she lowered her gaze to the ground. She picked a blade of brown grass and rubbed it between her fingers.

“I hate to see both of you so sad,” she said quietly.

Orion didn’t answer immediately and watched KC reach for another blade of grass instead, the first one already reduced to pieces.

“What makes you think I’m sad?”

KC looked at him out of the corners of her eyes. “How long have we known each other at this point?”

Orion sighed, turning KC’s words over in his mind.

Every time Lizzie had come to him over the last few weeks he had seen the desperation in her grow stronger. It was lying underneath her anger and stubborness, but Orion saw through her.

His resolve to stay away from her was hurting her, he could see it, but it couldn’t be helped. If he wanted to find his old self again they had to return to how things had been, whether they liked it or not.

“I wonder when everything went so wrong,” he said more to himself and slowly shook his head.

“I hate to say it, but you should have listened to Murphy and me and just talked to her,” KC said. “I don’t know if it’s still much use now, but it’s not too late. Tell her how you feel and see where it goes from there. It can’t get much worse than this.”

Orion had quite a lot of ideas how it definitely could get worse than this, but these weren’t paths he wished to follow.

“I can’t,” he said and leaned his head against the tree in his back. “It’s no use, you know the rules. Our timing has been wrong from the beginning.”

An unusual bitterness was stealing into his voice. “I always had my music to distract myself when the dark thoughts pulled at my balance, but she’s taken even that from me. Music has always been there for me but now there’s only her in my head, and I hate it. I hate how unbalanced I am because of it.”

He covered his face with his hand and sighed deeply with all the weariness he was feeling.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

KC dropped her piece of grass and turned to him. “Don’t you think it would be better to tell her when the timing’s wrong than to not tell her at all?”

She waited for Orion to answer; when he didn’t, she leaned against the tree trunk as well and changed the topic.

“So what’s this thing with Merula and David?”

She nodded over to the makeshift football pitch; the teams were taking a break and David was using the time to demonstrate to Merula how to bounce the ball on his knee. Merula wasn’t watching the ball at all, however; her violet eyes were glued to David’s concentrated face.

“David Willows proves to be a fascinating character,” Orion replied wryly.

“Don’t be mean now,” KC chuckled, “it’s nice to see Merula warm up to someone for a change. It’s as if she has a heart after all.”

KC had a point; it was unfair to judge David on his friendship with Lizzie. Orion had always respected him as an artist and he had turned out to be a genuinely nice person. If anything, Orion was glad Merula had found someone to make her smile; the willow tree was a symbol of spring, and maybe Merula’s icy exterior had started to thaw just a little bit.

“I told you Merula has a soft side,” Orion said, but something else was holding his attention.

Lizzie was standing next to Charlie and Artemis, passing a water bottle between them. Her full attention was on Charlie, her hand resting on his arm.

She must have said something cheeky, because Charlie suddenly laughed out loud and playfully pulled on the end of her ponytail. Laughing along, Lizzie nudged him into the side with her elbow.

Not once since Orion knew Lizzie and Charlie had he ever questioned the nature of their friendship, not even when Orion and her had first met. Charlie had always been like a big brother to Lizzie, and she never shied away from physical contact, especially with her closest friends.

But right now, Orion hated the way Charlie touched her, when he himself couldn’t. The frustration flared up in him so suddenly he had to look away from them.

“I know it’s hard,” KC said softly and laid a hand on his arm, “but trust me, she’s missing you just as much as you miss her. You’re just too stubborn to see it.”

Orion didn’t reply, running his thumb over the pages of his notebook instead. KC’s words were sounding in his ears and he wanted to believe them so badly it hurt.

He just wasn’t sure that he could.

[trashogram]

Addition: The comments (which I appreciate so much thank you 💋) are giving me ideas for a Lucifer version:

I love the concept of Lucifer falling back into his depression somewhat while he and Reader are an item, and it is heavily caused by his doubts and insecurities after being left by Lilith. He’s hard on himself but it’s not enough to get him out of the depression funk, and unfortunately this coincides with him not being as energetic or engaged with you as he used to be — and subsequently you try to give him support but also space so there’s a distancing effect, and it feeds his insecurities. It’s circular. An ouroboros kinda thing.

Well, you may be a sinner but you’re still in many ways human, so you talk about how you feel to Angel Dust, who’s one of your best friends at the hotel. He feels bad, tries to get involved but it backfires so damn hard bc when he tries to cheer Lulu up, it grows into this *thing*. Angel sort of slips into work mode, in a way, and Lucifer is responsive (bc he’s self-destructing HARD). One thing leads to another and suddenly he’s servicing the Devil to help him “loosen up”. It’s just a one time thing, they both swear, but… no. It’s nothing like love or anything remotely close. It becomes a way for them both to harm themselves and goad themselves into believing that your love for them isn’t as monumental or touching or important as it really is. Because love is terrifying and neither believes they really deserve it.

But you catch them. They don’t realize it in the moment, but Husk can’t stop you from leaving and he spills. All Hell breaks loose (pun intended) as elucidated.

But the thing for me is that this actually branches off into the themes of forgiveness and redemption. Like I’m personally more interested in how Charlie would react to her Dad doing this, and Angel Dust. Charlie is disturbed by it so much because it makes her view them differently and suddenly her belief in redemption no matter what is being challenged like she never imagined. She also loves you (not romantically ofc). She thought everyone at the hotel did, but this is a nightmare and you’ve disappeared completely. And then it goes into her making tough choices about the fallout. She and Lucifer have a conversation about him maybe stepping away from helping with the Hotel bc he’s fraternizing with guests and they’re gonna have to make a hard rule about that. He tries to dissuade it bc he wants to help his daughter with her dream! But the more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes for him to gain a bit of distance. He can barely get up in the mornings anymore, he sees you everywhere in his mind’s eye. And his own daughter seems uncomfortable in his presence.

Angel Dust, on the other hand, isn’t asked to leave or anything (he’d still be considered a resident and not staff). Charlie tries to be firm with him but his way of denial is bitter and harsh. He says terrible things like how you “should’ve been able to satisfy your man if you didn’t want him to cheat.” He does not mean this at all. Angel Dust just lashes out and says whatever he can to avoid the truth and how fucked up what he and Lucifer did is. But it takes Charlie shouting at him in sheer disbelief over how cruel he’s being for Angel to break down and bawl over it. He doesn’t know why he did it either and he doesn’t know what to do to fix it. It can’t be fixed, can it Charlie???

Charlie comforts him, but she doesn’t know either. She tries to smile through it, and tell Angel that at least if when they find you, Angel can apologize and at least it’ll be sincere and heartfelt. That has to mean something right?

No. They never find you.

Which Hazbin character would be the best for this scenario?

Warning: Darkfic, infidelity/cheating, betrayal, mental breakdown, extreme angst, general suffering and Hurt no Comfort, do not read if you’re in a bad place rn

I’m in the mood for some serious heartbreak, so picture this:

You’re a resident of the Hazbin Hotel, and you’re in a relationship with one of our core characters. You’re genuinely in love, and everything seems to be going great, although you do have your insecurities. Your partner is always there for you though, and they keep you going… except lately they’ve been acting kinda off. You try to ignore it, feeling extremely guilty for ever getting suspicious or doubting their devotion. But the signs keep appearing, the red flags are getting harder to ignore and it feels like a test against your sanity to justify that everything is ok.

But one random night you do catch them. They are cheating, they’re right in the middle of it, possibly with another resident that you also viewed as a friend. And it’s devastating. Even when they realize that you’re standing there in the doorway and your expression is downright haunting. Your partner (and friend if applicable) immediately gets up, desperately begging for your forgiveness, apologizing, trying to explain, but it’s all a ringing in your ears. They follow you back to your room but all the while you’re shellshocked and unresponsive. You lock them out and stay that way for an unknown amount of time. Eventually you decide to leave out the window without a word. You disappear into Hell and never come back.

OR a variation of that:

But one random night you do catch them. They don’t notice you standing in the doorway though. They’re far too wrapped up in what they’re doing. You’re shellshocked, but you leave silently. You go to the lobby and another resident/friend finds you. They’re immediately concerned and try to prod whatever’s wrong out of you. Eventually you concede, and the flash of guilt that you see on their face feels like a stab to the gut. Your friend knew. They knew — maybe your other friends know. Maybe everyone in the hotel except you knew, but no one loved you — or even liked you enough to tell you that your Love (and friend/their homewrecker) were betraying you, for who knows how many times and how long. You get up and leave out the front door of the hotel, disappearing into Hell despite your friend’s protests.

Your now ex-Love searches for you. So do many of the other Hazbin residents. They look everywhere for weeks. Your former partner tries calling, texting, leaving voicemails until your mailbox is full trying to explain themselves, asking for forgiveness, begging for you to return. It gets to a point where they just want to know that you’re safe somewhere, even if they never see you again. But days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and an Extermination has gone by but apart from your room remaining untouched, it’s like you never existed. The person that hurt you the most spirals into a deep depression and buries themselves in their vice(s) of choice as they begin to see you out of the corner of their eye or looking at them, light completely gone from your eyes, when they’re half-asleep. Hurting you like that was the worst thing they’ve ever done in life and in death.

And the other residents try to move on. They leave your spot in meetings/group activities empty. You always have a place there, even if they know you’re not coming back. It’s like your ghost is haunting the hotel.

[unknowncountrygirl]

Drunken Confession: Ben

Jae arrived in his typical outlandish behavior, wielding two large bottles of Fire Whiskey.

“Look alive boys, our Thursday night just got a lot more interesting!”

“Where did-” Charlie started but waved his hand, “you know what, never mind, I don't want to know.”

“I got cups in my trunk! Gather round boys, it's going to be a good night! Hope you don't have anywhere to go early in the morning.” He summoned his and Murphy's side tables and put them back to back to make a small table in the middle of the room. He then placed the two, rather large bottles on the tables, and went to dig in his trunk.

“This is?” Orion questioned, picking up one of the bottles.

“Irish brewed Firewhiskey, aged in barrels for years. It's the good stuff.” Jae mentioned, placing a array of cups on the table.

“You and I have different ideas of what good stuff is.” Murphy eyed the amber liquid that Orion was sloshing around.

Charlie got off his bed and walked over, looking at the small shot glasses.

“So... You brought it for us all to try?” He asked innocently.

“I have something actually more interesting in mind.” Jae said slyly. “Unless you are all a bunch of softies.”

“Hardly.” Ben replied deadpanned, picking up the second bottle to crack it open, and began to pour it into the glasses, filling them to the top. “What were you thinking Jae?”

“We've all known one another years now, lets get to know each other a little bit better.”

“This is your way of just trying to get information from us that you can blackmail us with later.” Murphy looked up at Jae, feeling very suspicious of him. Jae said nothing, just smiled slyly and took his shot before pouring himself another.

“Take a drink if you have ever used a unregulated potion, I'll go first.” He took a large gulp of the amber liquid. Ben lifted an eyebrow, but played along and poured himself a drink before taking a drink. Charlie, Orion, and Murphy simply nodded as they were handed their own drinks, not touching the liquid to their lips.

“Take a drink if you've ever... Seen a dragon?” Charlie tried. Jae, Ben, and Charlie took long sips.

“You are going to have to include something that we have done.” Murphy almost pouted with a smile on his lips. “Like if you've been voted most dashing Quidditch Commentator.” It was silly, but an excuse to take a drink himself.

About 20 questions, some laughter, light conversation, and the entire first bottle of Fire Whiskey, most of the boys were starting to feel the effects. Ben and Jae held their liquor the best, more then likely because this was not either one's first time drinking underage. Charlie and Murphy were about one drink away from being completely gassed, and Orion was one away from finding world peace.

“Oh, I've got a good one.” Jae slurred slightly. “Take a drink if you've ever had a crush-” All the boys lifted their drinks, but Jae finished his thought, “on Iris!” They all laughed lightly, but the laughter died out when all five of the boys continued to take a shot.

Murphy and Charlie almost immediately sobered up, and Ben froze like a statue.

“Soooo, we have all had dreams of Iris Rosewood?” Orion clarified.

“Is that a question we are suppose to drink to?” Murphy questioned, looking down into his glass.

“More clarification, perhaps I shall word it this way...” Orion drawled, “if you have a crush on Iris.”

Again, the room fell silent as all five boys took another shot.

A couple of the cleared their throats, Jae coughed into his hand. It had become incredibly awkward, incredibly fast.

“This is uncomfortable.” Charlie broke the silence.

“You all may have crushes on her... But I've loved her.” Ben admitted, swirling his Firewhiskey in his cup. “We have been through too much, and she's been there every step of the way for me.” The other boys stopped murmuring and looked at him. “She brought color and vibrancy into my world and I repaid her by hurting her. Hell, all I ever wanted to do is make sure no one ever hurt her and I think by doing that I've been the one to hurt her the most.” He stated more to himself then anyone else in the room. “I think I've done so much damage that no matter how much I love her, what hope I ever had that she could reciprocate is gone. It died when Rowan did.” The air in the room when from light and jovial to heavy and dark in just a few sentences. “I'm going for a walk.”

“If you get caught after curfew-”

“What? Get detention?” Ben stood, grabbed a jacket of his that had been on the end of his bed and left the dormitory.

His foggy mind supplied that going to the Forbidden Forest was a good idea, and he headed that way. Thunder boomed and lightning popped overhead and he thought briefly about heading back but he continued.

Half way down to the forbidden forest, the sky opened up and let down a torrential rain like Hogwarts had not seen in a very long time. Ben hated getting caught in the rain and made a beeline for Hagrid's hut, hoping the half giant wouldn't mind if he waited out the storm in his house. In about twenty steps he was pushing the door open and going inside.

It was dry and he pulled his wool sweater off and shook his hair to remove excess moisture.

“Hagrid?” He called, but there was no light on and Fang lifted his head up to give him a look. He figured Hagrid must not have been there and walked over to the fireplace and put some logs in a pile to start a fire. He ran his hand over the mantle feeling for matches or anything, but decided to cast a simple spell to ignite the wood. There was instant warmth in the hut as he held his hands out, warming his fingers.

The door to the hut opened, and he turned, his wand at the ready to see a figure in the doorway that was far to small to be Hagrid.

“Ben?” The voice called, before stepping into the light of the fire.

“Iris?” He asked, sliding his wand up his sleeve. “What are you doing out here?”

“I was looking for Moondew for growth potion, I need it for my Herbology project and Snape is being greedy.” Iris explained as she peeled her wet rain slicker off and hung it on the coat rack. “What are you doing out here? Isn't it past curfew?” Ben opened his mouth to tell her, she cut him off. “Never mind.”

“What?” “You'll just say something snarky and I've had a good day, so we'll just leave it alone.” Iris stated as she took out the little jar from her bag and inspected her Moondew leaves. He was about to remark that he wouldn't have done that, but that in itself would just prove her right.

She placed the small corked bottle on the table and stepped over to the fire.

“Where's Hagrid?” He asked.

“He's presenting at the Ministry about Thestrals. He won't be back until tomorrow I think.” She informed him, holding her hands out to the fire, a content look on her face. “Fancy a snack? I know where Hagrid keeps his tea, and I have some chocolate and orange scone in my bag.”

“Why do you have scones with you?”

“I wasn't sure how long I'd have to look for the Moondew, so I brought something to eat with me. Plus sometimes I have to bribe Fang to come with me.” She explained as she went to collect the tea he had stashed on a shelf and get the kettle ready over the fire. Ben felt himself blink rather hard, the effects of the Fire Whiskey starting to turn on him. He was suddenly very hot, and the room was a bit spinny.

He had already shed his sweater, and unbuttoned his collared shirt before he made to sit down on the rug in front of the fire. In hindsight, he should have sat farther from the fire, but he honestly wondered if he would even be able to make it to the chair without spilling himself on the floor anyway. Iris was also Head Girl, if she found out he had been drinking she would either have to report him or deal with it herself and he didn't want to incur her wrath.

He twisted his neck, feeling a pop that seemed to relax him as Iris held out a plate with the scones on it. He took a bite,

“these are really good. Did the house elves make this?”

“Oh no, I've made friends with Pits, he let me make some yesterday down in the kitchens.” Iris explained as she tenderly added the tea into a pot and poured the hot water into the hilariously floral teapot that Hagrid had.

“You could make friends with a dung beetle.” He joked, only partially. She laughed lightly.

They sat in silence for a while before the tea was ready and he watched as Iris poured the tea into two mix matched floral cups and handed him one. He reached for the cream and noticed that Iris blew on hers and drank it straight. It was a new little tidbit of information for him to lock away.

“Do you remember back in 2nd year, you wouldn't go up into the astronomy tower so we turned the artifact rooms ceiling into the night sky?” Iris asked suddenly.

“What made you think about that?” Ben asked as he looked over at her. She shrugged.

“We had tea and scones then, remember?” She gestured at the scones with her teacup. “I just... I like that memory.” Iris admitted.

“Back when I was afraid to even-”

“Would you just shut up!” Iris snapped, clacking her teacup loudly against the saucer. “It's a memory that makes me smile, and that I enjoy, why do you constantly try and belittle things that make me happy? Are you that full of bitterness anymore that you won't let anyone enjoy something as simple as a memory?”

“You're defensive tonight, what has you so wound up?” He snapped back just as angrily.

“I'm defensive?” Iris shouted, standing up to tower over Ben, ready for a fight that had been brewing for weeks. “You're the one that can't even let me relive a memory from when we were twelve without you belittling it!”

“I don't like reliving those memories, it was when I was weak-”

“It was when you were kind.” Iris cut in dangerously. He placed his hands on the floor and hoped that he could stand without falling over. He stood on his feet and looked down at her, truly looked at her for what felt like the first time in weeks.

Iris used to have this childlike innocence about her, with her round baby face, porcelain skin, blue eyes that were wide open for the world. He wasn't exactly sure when the last time he took the time to study her, more then likely before Rowan died, and it looked like everything she had experienced had finally caught up with her.

It was only a matter of time, one can only keep loading the camels back before something as simple as a napkin will break their back. He wondered when it was that Iris had finally broke, and wondered if anyone had even noticed. Iris was the unbreakable, she was the epitome of what people wanted to be, of course people thought she was sturdy as stone. They had taken her for granted.

Hell, he had.

Her lips were almost always in a natural smile, now seemed to be downturned in nature. Her eyes, those were what had grabbed him when he first made eye contact with her because he had never seen eyes that were just that blue, had always been bright and happy. Now, they looked like the good china that people put away for safe keeping, dust piling on it where you can see the color, its just muted. Everything about her seemed muted. Her skin, her hair, she was a soul with the weight of a Kingdom on her shoulders. There was more expectations on her at seventeen then that of twenty people.

Ben felt regret in his belly, and he couldn't keep up this conversation. He knew she was far too close and one push would send her over that edge. He had done enough to push her there, he wasn't going to be the one that pushed her to the breaking point.

“I'm not going to have this conversation.” He shook his head, beginning to button up the few buttons he had loosened earlier. Rain be damned, if he had to get soaked to get away from her and let her cool down, he would. He was just about to walk to the door when Iris called,

“You want to know what I think?” Iris told him firmly, it was not really a question but a thinly veiled declaration masquerading as a question. “I think that you're still terrified.”

That stopped him in his tracks. His hand hovered over the door knob, and the rational part of his brain that would have told him to walk away was flooded by Firewhiskey. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” She was not going down this time, and she was not going to be ignored. “You are still the terrified Muggleborn you always were, only it's the fear that people will still see you as that person.”

“I am not-”

“I can see it in your eyes! You may be able to fool everyone else, but you can't fool me.” She pointed at herself. “I know you better then anyone, Benjamin Copper!” It was a fact that was mildly terrifying, and he hated to admit that. “It's a different type of terror, but it's still there and it still controls you down to your core-”

“No it doesn't! I'm a not that person anymore!” He shouted at her. It wasn't the first time he had raised his voice at her, but it felt much different then the times before. Because she had struck a nerve.

He wasn't the one in control anymore.

His delicate control that he had been clinging to since after the buried vault was quickly disinigrating in his hands and he was scrambling to keep it.

“You haven't become brave, you've become cruel!” Iris told him. He could almost see it like an actual image in his mind, she was taking a sledge hammer to his carefully constructed statue of power, bravery and control. Others had chipped away at it, but Iris had come in and went for the Achilles heel that only she seemed to know existed. “Your trauma is what navigates every single decision you have made! Every decision has been made in fear from the moment you stepped into Hogwarts!” Another critical hit, cracks that could never be fixed started to grow threatening to topple over all of himself.

“That's not true!” He yelled back at her, as though he was trying to convince himself.

“Really? Give me an example.” She dared him.

Her attack seemed to stop because she had chipped away and found the one part of his bravery that wasn't an act. That one tiny part of himself that had been bright and true since the beginning.

The part that she overlooked.

Because it was her.

“You.” He stated simply. Iris jumped a bit at the declaration, clearly not seeing his answer coming. “You terrified me. You were loud, outspoken, brave, already good at magic and dueling, you came from a pure blood family, and you were attractive. What wasn't intimidating about you? Especially to a muggleborn like me?” It was his turn to talk and he was going to seize the opportunity, as it seemed he had shocked her into silence in the middle of a fight. “But I approached you first, remember that? I thanked you for standing up to Merula. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, I felt like I was going to vomit, yet I rejected that fear to talk to you because there was something about you that felt like a damn gravitational pull!” He took a step closer to her and she held her ground, starring up at him. Her eyes were still alight with fire but there was something else there, a vulnerability that he had seen in her eyes too often since the buried vault. “From brooms and books, to time in the artifact room, I cared about you more then I cared about anyone else, so much so that I went with you to the buried vault! Despite the fact that I thought I would die, I went because I cared more about you then I did myself!”

Iris's lips were in a tight line, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she shook her head.

“Ben don't.” She warned, almost knowing where he was going.

“You're right, every decision I have made has been in fear... The biggest fear I have above all others-”

“Ben stop!”

There was no stopping now. He had regained the control.

“The fear that some how, in some horrible way that I can't control, that you will be hurt or die because you put everyone ahead of yourself in the most reckless and honorable ways!” He felt like he had become a new man, and that he had become braver in the years since the buried vault, but the fire whiskey in his veins was a form of liquid courage that he was sure no potion could replicate. His thought process was interrupted by stinging on his cheek.

Iris had slapped him.  

“Don't you dare say it.” She warned, her voice like ice. “Not after the way you have treated me-”

“I love you!” He wanted to shout it at her, hoping that if he yelled louder then her that she would realize he was being truthful, but all it would do is prove her point that he had just became cruel. She closed her eyes, and he watched a her fight within herself, her fingers curled into fists and he was worried for a moment that she was going to deck him. “Iris.” He reached out and placed a hand over her curled fist, “I love you.”

She shook her head but made no effort to pull away from him. They had went to war with one another and now both stood in front of their dismantled battlements.

Iris was the first to move, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his sternum.  

“I miss you, Ben.” Iris almost sobbed. His hands let go of her fists, and wrapped protectively around her back, holding her tightly. He lowered his head, his nose resting on the top of her head and breathed deeply.

He had finally admitted it, and said it out loud, given it a sense of being. He felt like a weight had been lifted, and he didn't know he had been carrying it around with him.

“I'll work on being less cruel, and more kind again.” He promised her.

“I'll accept that.” Her hands that had been balled up and resting against him opened and she laid her palms and fingers out flat against his chest, before moving them up to wrap around his neck and pull him into a hug. She had to stand on her tip toes in order to get her chin to rest on his shoulders. “Remember when I used to be taller then you?” There was a lightness in her voice that he had missed, and he smiled.

“Yeah, now you're short.” He joked.

“You're no giant yourself.”

“At least I'm taller then you.”

“Everyone is, except for Professor Flitwick.”

“Even that's pretty close.” He laughed and she tapped the back of his head with her hand. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, and smiled gently, placing the hand that had previously slapped him delicately on his face.

“I'm sorry I slapped you.”

“I'm just surprised it took you this long to slap me.” He told her honestly. “I'm sorry that I've hurt you, and I'm going to endever to do better.” Iris nodded and wrapped her arms around him again and listened to how fast his heart was beating, and smiled, knowing hers was beating just as fast.

He had not expected his drunken evening walk to end like this.

[xlostinobsessionsx]

An Unforgettable New Year’s Eve | Charlie Gillespie - 1/3

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x fem! Reader

Warning: none

Word Count: 2,213

Plot: (Y/N) doesn’t want to go to the new years eve party where her ex would be with his new girlfriend. Sadly, she promised her best friend she’d go. But instead of letting her wallow in self pity, Charlie makes it his mission to give her a new years eve she will never forget, which makes her ask herself one question: Can you fall in love in just one night?

A/N: A big thanks goes to @bass-ic-deaky and @a-tomb-with-a-view for proof-reading this part. I don’t know what I would do without you!

I wish you all the best for the next year! May 2021 be better than this year.

Masterlist

Normally (Y/N) loved the holidays. She loved dressing up for Halloween and going to parties with her friends. She loved seeing her family on Thanksgiving, eating turkey and telling them what made her feel thankful. She loved decorating the Christmas tree and singing christmas carols. She loved celebrating the beginning of each new year...well, normally she did. This New Year’s Eve was going to be quite different. Her friend Colin was throwing a party in his big loft like he did every year, and normally that would be alright. (Y/N) loved traditions, and celebrating New Years Eve at Colin's place felt like a tradition by now. A tradition she had always attended with Noah. But this year she would go by herself. Of course (best friend's name Maya, her best friend, would come with her but it wasn’t the same. Once they got the party Maya would probably disappear into the celebrating crowd, leaving (Y/N) to fend for herself. In any case, her friends decided that it would be better for (Y/N) not to drink during this New Years Eve Party. “It just ends messy when you drink and already feel miserable.” Maya tried to explain to her. (Y/N) would’ve preferred to just stay at home all by herself in all honesty but her best friend was against her plans.“The company will do you good.” Maya argued until (Y/N) had agreed to go with her. 

“Someone will also have to make sure that you get home safely.” (Y/N) shrugged, trying to persuade herself that going to the party might be a good idea. She would just go to keep an eye on Maya all night long. That alone would be enough for a distraction.

However, it turned out that was easier said than done. Her friend immediately grabbed herself a drink and joined the crowd on the packed dance floor. (Y/N), on the other hand, got herself some water. Her gaze drifted through the crowd from each drunk partygoer to the next. She spotted Colin who was standing in front of one of the big big paintings, which decorated his loft. He seemed to be chatting animatedly about it to a couple standing next to him, who, even from across the room, were obviously sloshed from how they swayed from side to side, and it was only 7:23pm. A laugh cut through the music, pounding from the large DJ speakers. It didn’t ever matter how loud a room could be, she’d always hear that laugh no matter what. That’s when her gaze landed on him, wearing one of those silly New Year’s Eve party hats. The shirt he was wearing, that had been a gift from her for their last anniversary. He had broken it off with her a few weeks later, right before Thanksgiving, leaving his seat empty during family dinner. 

(Y/N) could still remember their conversation. It seemed like it was forever embedded in her mind. “I can’t do this anymore!” He had said while packing his belongings he had left at her place. 

“Why?” She sobbed, trying to get a hold of him, trying to get him to look at her, but he had shrugged her off. 

“It just won’t work between us. Not for the long run at least, we’re too different.” He had said nonchalantly. 

“But...how? Why?!” She whimpered “A few weeks ago you talked about us moving in together for god’s sake!” She had grabbed him by his arm forcing him to turn around to look at her. The look on his face had changed. 

He looked sorry for her. Why was he taking pity on her? “I met someone else.”

And this particular ‘someone else’ was standing next to him, with Noah’s strong arm wrapped around her waist pulling her close. Her golden wavy hair fell elegantly over her shoulders as she stood there with her stupid perfect makeup and stupid perfect dress. The tears began to form in (Y/N) eyes again. Not here, she told herself and took a deep breath, trying desperately to steady herself. (Y/N) had promised to herself that they would not ruin this party for her, she had promised Maya she’d have fun and that would try to do that now. Like trying to keep an eye on Maya, that turned out to be easier said than done. That’s why (Y/N) found herself in a corner of the room, sitting on a bench and staring at her cup with a blank expression on her face.

“Either you just really hate New Years Eve parties or someone’s here you don’t like that much.” (Y/N) turned her head to look at the brunette guy who had sat down next to her a few minutes prior. She hadn’t paid him any mind, she went about her business and he with his. Like most of the guests, he was wearing funny glasses and a party hat. His curly brunette hair hung to his shoulders and his hazel eyes sparkled happily at her. She was grateful to him for trying to save her evening, but her desire for company was waning by the second. 

(Y/N) sighed looking back down at her lap. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” She tried to shrug him off to wallow in her self-pity once again. 

“Doesn’t look like it’s alright. Maybe you need a drink?” He suggested. 

She slowly shook her head “I can’t. I promised my friend I’d bring her home safely.” (Y/N) pointed to her best friend, who at the moment tried to drink as much as she could out of a beer funnel. 

Charlie chuckled at the sight. “Well she’s a messy drunk, isn’t she.” 

“Also...I’ve heard you only should drink when you’re in a good mood.” She mumbled, not knowing if the guy next to her was even able to hear her over the loud music. 

“And you aren’t in a good mood because…?” He treaded carefully. 

(Y/N) sighed as she looked up to the guy next to her. His eyes were gazing at her, a friendly look glinting in them, not intrusive like she had expected it would’ve been. More honest and seemingly genuinely interested in making her feel better. “I don’t wanna pull you down with me.” She answered truthfully. 

The guy chuckled “You won’t, I promise. It’s gonna be my mission to pull your mood up no matter what.” 

This made her smile. “I’m sure you’d have a better night if you spent it with someone else.” 

“Well, I know most people here but I like to make new friends. It’s like this saying: Always start a new year with new friends.” He smiled brightly. 

(Y/N) chuckled “I’m pretty sure it’s not a saying.” 

He laughed slightly “Well it might not be one but it made you smile. So one step closer to making this a better night for you….uh…” He looked at her expectantly. 

“(Y/N).” She replied with a wide smile. 

“One step closer to make this night better for you, (Y/N), way better.” He said as he held his hand towards (Y/N) for her to shake. 

“I’m Charlie, by the way.” He introduced himself. She took his hand and slightly shook it. His hand nearly entirely engulfed hers and felt warm around hers. “Now that we’re on a first name basis, you should really tell me who put you in such a foul mood.” He took a sip from his cup and looked at her curiously. 

(Y/N) sighed. Her gaze fell to a tall guy standing in a group of people. “You see him?” She pointed slightly at the guy. “That’s my ex. We were both invited to this party when we were still a couple.” she explained “But then he broke up with me for the blonde girl standing next to him. Obviously, for whatever reason I still thought it would be an excellent idea to come here because we’re in the same circle of friends. I didn’t think for a second he would bring her.” She spat with a bitter look on her face. 

“And now instead of partying you’re just sitting here all sad?” Charlie asked. 

(Y/N) nodded “As I said, I promised my friend I’d bring her home safely and I wouldn’t be able to if I were drunk. Also I promised before I knew how the night would turn out for me. Believe me whenI say I really regret this choice.”

Charlie frowned. Suddenly an idea came to mind. “What if I told you I have a plan for how this night could turn out good for you?” 

(Y/N) snorted. “How?” 

“Let’s get out of here. I know some really good places. They’re incredible on New Year’s Eve!” He suggested, smiling and his eyes shining brightly. 

“I can’t. I promised Maya...” She started but Charlie interrupted her.

“...That you get her home safely. I know, I know. We’ll be back by midnight. That could be at least 4-5 hours full of adventures!” He emptied his cup with one big sip and stood up. “Come on!” he rose from his spot holding his hand out towards her.

She eyed him suspiciously. “For all I know you could pull me into an alley once we leave this building, stab me and run away while I bleed to death” 

The guy next to her chuckled. “Nah, don’t worry about that. I only do that on the first tuesday of the month. Come on, it’ll be fun!” He looked at her with his best puppy dog eyes, which behind the glasses made him look ridiculous. 

(Y/N) playfully rolled her eyes “Fine! But we have to be back by midnight.” She took his hand and stood up. They wove their way through the crowd before (Y/N) pulled on his arm. “Wait, I should tell my friend that I’m coming back.” She made her way towards her friend, who was rocking her soul out to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on the dance floor. (Y/N) slightly touched her shoulder to get her attention 

“(Y/N)!” Her friend screamed her name. “There you are! Let’s party!” 

(Y/N) chuckled “I’m going to leave for a few hours but I promise I’ll be back before midnight.” 

Maya’s eyes went wide when her gaze landed on the guy behind her best friend. “Oh, oh I get it. Of course. Don’t worry about me.” She pushed (Y/N) towards Charlie “Just you know...stay safe, if you know what I mean.” She winked at both of them. 

(Y/N) felt her cheeks heating up. She chuckled slightly and nodded “Alright fine, and you my dear don’t drink too much!”

“You know I’m really bad at keeping promises.” Maya winked at her. 

(Y/N) laughed and nodded as she turned to Charlie. “Shall we?” She asked him. 

Charlie took her hand again and gave it a light squeeze. “Yeah, let’s go!” The cold December air hit them like a bus as soon as they made their way outside. (Y/N) expected them to go to the subway station but instead Charlie pulled her towards a red motorcycle. “Have you ever been on a motorcycle?” He asked her as he fetched a second helmet out from under the seat holding it out for her. 

Hesitantly, she took the helmet from him as she shook her head “No, and you might’ve also had a little too much to drink to still be able to drive.” 

Charlie laughed “Well, honestly I was looking out for one of my friends too, so I wasn’t drinking either.” (Y/N) looked at him suspiciously as he put on the other helmet. He held his hands up in defense. “I swear, you can even smell my breath if-” 

“That won’t be necessary!” (Y/N) exclaimed, which made the guy in front of her chuckle. She eyed the helmet before she put it on. “Is this how it goes on?” She asked him with a brow raised in confusion. 

“Wait, let me help you.” Charlie took a step towards her. Slowly, he pulled her hair away, which had fallen into her sight. “Can’t have your helmet falling off.” 

Her eyes drifted up to meet his, which sparkled brightly in the moonlight. She felt her hands getting a little bit sweaty. It must’ve been because of the thought of riding a motorcycle for the first time and not because of this cute guy in front of her, she tried to tell herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by his soft voice, “Now it’s good.” He smiled at her. “All secure and ready for an adventure. Shall we?” He asked and made an invitational gesture towards his bike.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and nodded. Charlie climbed onto the bike putting up the kick stand before nodding at her to get on behind her. “Hold onto my waist. Tightly. I promise I’ll drive carefully.”

She nodded and nervously put his arms around his torso. She could feel the heat radiating from his body in front of her, it was quite soothing actually. She pressed into him a bit more….for safety, she told herself. Charlie started the engine. “Ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

He chuckled softly. “Excellent, hold on tight now.” Slowly, the wheels underneath them started to move and brought them away from the party. From stupid ex-boyfriends. From a dull new years eve party. “We’re going on an adventure.”

[writingwithacupoftea]

A Sister’s Worry

Summary: The deterioration of Tommy’s mind has become too unbearable for Y/N Shelby to watch any longer. He is the ghost of the man that he once was, even after the war. She decides that the time has come for her to intervene...

Word Count: 1407

A/N: It’s 23:50 here in the UK, and I seriously needed to pour out some emotions and get some shit out of my system. So this unedited garbage was produced, but I thought I’d share it anyway. It’s quite different to my other work, but I hope you still like it.

This was not the way that Y/N Shelby expected to end her day, sobbing her heart out in her bedroom, alone.

It had all been going perfectly up until that point – she had been out riding her horse, Moonstone (affectionately called Moony), all day, around the estate at Arrow House, where she lived with Tommy. She had basked in the September sun, making the most of it while it lasted, and enjoyed having a momentary escape from the pressure of the family and their many businesses. It allowed her to be free, just for a few hours, of her worries about Tommy.

Y/N had been troubled by Tommy's ever deteriorating state of mind for a while now. His work, now more than ever, had become his life. It was consuming him entirely, and there had been a couple of times where Y/N had barely recognised her beloved brother because of it.

He had snapped at her countless times over the last few months, something that he had never done when she was younger. He barely listened to a word that she said anymore, as soon as he realised that what she was telling him wasn't related to the business, anyway. He was always working when Y/N finally trudged up to bed each night, giving up on her hopes that he would come and join her, and was already at his desk again when she awoke the next morning.

Y/N had been thrilled when Tommy had asked her to move in with him, Grace and Charlie when he first bought Arrow House. She had idolised her brother when she was younger, which her Aunt Polly had always despaired at (Pol said that she was already too much like Tommy for her own good, and that being around him so much wouldn't help matters), and he had adored her with every fibre of his being. Y/N had been overwhelmed when he'd asked her to become part of his new family, as well as being part of his old one.

Now, though, Y/N felt more alone than ever.

Whilst on her ride, Y/N had resolved to speak to Tommy about her concerns for him when she returned, knowing that it was better to face the beast itself than to keep her demons caged inside of her.

So, Y/N had baked some of his favourite shortbread and popped a plate of it on a tea tray for the two of them. The twist was, however, that under the tea cosy was a bottle of whiskey. She had carried it up to his office, knocked lightly and entered.

"Hello, Tom."

No response. He didn't even look up from his work.

Swallowing nervously, Y/N continued. "I...erm... I baked some of those shortbread that you like! Thought I'd bring you some up."

"Just leave them there." Tommy gestured to the top of a pile of papers, still not taking his eyes off the documents in front of him.

"Oh." Hurt flashed in Y/N's eyes. "Oh, I thought maybe you could take a break and we could have a chat. We've barely spoken in the past few -"

"I don't have time for a fucking chat at the moment, Y/N. I've got things to be getting on with. How about you pop back later, eh?"  

She received a brief glance from her brother, but something in Y/N's heart hardened at his words. "That's what you told me to do last time, and yet you dismissed me the second, third and fourth time that I tried to see you. I know better this time than to 'pop back later'. I won't let you turn me away like that again."

"I'm a busy man, Y/N." Tommy stared at Y/N intently. "I take it that there's something in particular you wanted to say to me in this chat?"

Her mind told Y/N to run for the hills, to stay well away from topics like Tommy's wellbeing when he was in such a foul mood. But the pounding of her heart in her chest told her that she was in far too deep this time to try and backtrack.

Y/N hadn't realised how long she had been silent for until Tommy spoke again. "Go on, then. Say your piece." He lit another cigarette and leant back in his chair.

Taking a deep, trembling breath, Y/N began. "I'm worried about you, Tom. You never rest, you barely see your son...you're not alive anymore, Tommy. I can see that you're spiralling downwards, but you're not letting anyone get close enough to you to stop you. I know you have ambition and I know that you'll stop at nothing to see it through properly, to move us onto the next business deal to keep our company's reputation and income on the up. You do it all for this family - to keep us warm and well-respected, so that we don't have to live like we used to. And I respect and admire you so much for that.

"But this is all nothing without you, Tommy, and you know it. It's all for nothing, as well, if you're not there to see the effects of it. And if you keep going like you are now, you're going to be dead in five years' time, because you're a wreck. I love you too much to let you just slip away, down through the cracks, while the rest of us get on with the luxurious lives that you created for us. There is not one single fucking thing on this earth that will stop me from trying to help you, no matter how much you try and refuse it. So, you'd better start getting used to it."

Tommy stubbed out the cigarette on his ash tray and picked up his pen once more. "Is that everything?" His voice had no trace of emotion in it.

That was the final straw for Y/N. "Fuck you, Tommy Shelby," she seethed quietly.

The man's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Excuse me?"

"I said fuck you. Did you even register a single word that I said?"

"I don't need a child looking after me. Now, I have some urgent work that needs - "

"I AM NOT A CHILD, THOMAS!" Y/N had done nothing to try and stop the tidal wave of emotion from escaping her. "I know that you try and lock out everything that you feel, but you can't do it any longer. You're carrying all this weight on your shoulders and before you even notice it, it'll become too heavy. It'll break your back and then you may never walk again. You're the one being a silly child for refusing the help that you clearly so desperately need!"

"Get out of my office." Tommy's voice chilled Y/N to the bone.  

A lump formed in her throat, and tears began to form in her eyes. "Fine. I'll go. But don't you think that I'm giving up. I love you, Tommy, and you're not going to destroy yourself on my watch. I won't let you  - because, selfishly, I need you. I wish that I didn't, because you're such a prick, but I do." Y/N opened the door and looked back at her brother, her voice full of bitterness. "Don't let me keep you from your work any longer."

As soon as Y/N's bedroom door had closed, the tears came. Roaring sobs that racked her entire body. The happiness that had filled her mind a few hours previously had vanished without a trace, a stabbing hurt left in its place.

When Y/N discovered that she had no tears left in her to cry, she crawled into bed like a wounded animal, feeling helpless and defeated, preparing herself for the sleepless night that she saw coming.

All that she asked for was Tommy to be safe, happy and well. It wasn't much, but that was what her heart desired. Y/N knew that there was no bringing John back, so she was going to everything that she could to keep Tommy alive.

Y/N knew that Tommy would be the death of her, for, despite his many flaws, she was determined to get him out of the darkness and into the light. Tommy had done it for her before...it was simply time for her to return the favour.