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a-detraque-barista · 3 years

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Zombie Killer

Yandere Zombie Namjoon x Reader

Genre: yandere, gore, zombie, character deaths (but not graphic yet)

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: i love this man and i'm so glad i finally finished something with him in it. i hope this wasn't too rushed because i did write the majority of it back in 2019 but i hope you all enjoy nonetheless <3

It's been two years since the zombie apocalypse began. You've been on your own for exactly one year, seven months, and forty-nine days now. Wandering the world as you tried to find a safe haven that wasn't infected with undead cannibals. You don't hide behind doors very often anymore, you've learned it only makes you want to stay inside and rot while trembling in fear. You hated the way fear makes you so vulnerable. Adapting to the outside world was your only option before going insane. Carrying multiple weapons with you made you able to survive much longer than hiding in buildings.

People call you crazy and barbaric because you chose to survive by any means necessary. That's what your best friend had told you before getting bitten. And so, your survival of the fittest instinct kicked in once you shot your best friend in the face. Twice. Ever since then you've been wandering the streets of different cities. If you see a group of zombies then you stay clear. You were a badass zombie killing machine, but you knew when to pick your fights.

You had just sneaked off the ship you stowed away on for the past week. Immediately, you identified the native language here as Korean. Before the outbreak happened you had tried to learn the Korean language. You had only gotten so far in the lessons but you can still make sentences.

Sticking to the shadows you kept your guard up just in case anything tried to attack you. Overall, these streets were deserted and you didn't see or hear any sign of life or even the undead. You spotted a convenience store with the glass of the sliding doors broken. You had to at least look for food, so you headed inside after checking with your shotgun was loaded. You only had two more shells left so you needed to get rid of it now that its weight was holding you back. Stepping silently and diligently, you made your way to the dry food section. The shelves were almost completely bare. There were ramyeon packs left which you quickly put in your bag. You also found chips in another one of the aisles on the floor. You didn't bother looking for water, already knowing that it was long gone. What you did look for was tea. Not everyone knows that it's the second-best thing to drink when there's no water. And as you expected, there were tons of different flavored teas. Grabbing the peach, strawberry, green, and watermelon you made your way out of the store to see a group of masked people walking by.

They spotted you almost immediately as you froze and waited to see what they would do. Your thick black mask covered your face as much as theirs but they had hoods and hats covering their foreheads. No matter if you were a zombie or not most people tried to kill you. You had no idea why maybe it was just their need to be the last and the strongest kicking in.

Then all of a sudden there were five guns pointed at your head. See? All you did was stand there and apparently that's a threat. Pointing your gun at them would only make things worse given that you're outnumbered so you ran. Turning the corner once their guns began to fire, you ended up sprinting through the alleys. Always making sure you turned a corner every chance you got so you couldn't get shot.

You stopped to take a breath as you crouched down while panting. You had to leave your motorcycle behind so it had been a while since you’ve run that far. Hearing a crash further down the alley, you held your shotgun up trying to see what had made the sound. Nothing moved for a while so you slowly backed away and turned around quickly to run but all you found was one of the masked men from earlier.

“We need to go,” you spoke to the man quietly before another crash sounded from behind you. Trying to run past the man, he stopped you and pushed you back toward the alley. Holding his gun aimed at your head.

“Drop it,” you dropped your shotgun. “Walk,” he hissed and you turned back around to see a pair of ivory eyes staring at you.

How did you not notice them before? They stood out so vividly against the dark shadows of the alley. No doubt a zombie, but it wasn’t attacking. You felt the gun in the middle of your back push you towards the flesh-eating monster in front of you. In the blink of an eye, the ivory irises were no longer in front of you and the man behind you was screaming before having his jaw detached from his skull.

This zombie was like no other, it was quick, intelligent, and strong. Hearing the other men approaching, the zombie took your hand into its own and hurried deeper into the alley. Its skin was ice and calloused and bloody from tearing the man’s jaw out. It didn’t necessarily bother you as you were no stranger to blood now. But why was this zombie saving you? It’s not like you could ask, you didn’t know if it still understood speech. It never lets go of your hand until it finally leads you to an abandoned building hidden in plain sight. Leading you to the top floor, you saw a mattress on the ground with a pillow and blanket, a tv, empty plates, a mini-fridge, and even a microwave. It really was intelligent.

It took your arm to have you sit on the mattress as you got a better look at its face. It was...handsome. Even with grayish skin and a few holes. He was stunning. He chuckled after noticing your shell-shocked gaze at his appearance. You’ve never heard a zombie fucking chuckle.

He walked away to the mini-fridge and came back with a bottle of water for you. Now you really had some questions, but you didn’t want to seem rude about asking if he understood what you were saying.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” he smiled as he opened the water for you since you took too long. Pushing the bottle closer to you making you accept the water and taking a sip. “You probably haven’t had any water in while. Drink up.”

So you did. You chugged the whole bottle in under a minute as he watched you do so fondly. “What are you?” Okay, so maybe that was a little straightforward and harsh but you couldn’t help but wonder.

“A zombie, obviously. You probably mean why haven’t I eaten you. I can’t really answer that because I don’t know myself. It’s always been this way, ever since I got bitten I mean,” he explained as he stood up and made his way over to the tv to turn it on. “And if you’re wondering why I saved you, it’s because I know those guys can be dicks. They’ve been trying to kill me for months. Ever since they started that little murder group.”

“How did you know I needed help? Were you just passing through that alley?” you questioned while watching him sit back down next to you.

“I’ve been following you this whole time. I’m surprised you didn’t notice. I saw you get off the boat and followed you since then,” he explained like it was no big deal. “But it was a good thing I was there when I was. Otherwise, you’d probably be dead, or turned into a zombie.”

He was right. If it weren’t for him, you would either be eaten or left dead on the ground. Was that really an excuse for stalking you this whole time though?

“There’s no need to overthink it, just get some rest.”

Why was he so damn convincing? He was really nice though. “What’s your name?” you couldn’t stop the question from leaving your mouth in time.

“Namjoon. What’s yours?”

“Y/n.”

“What a wonderful name,” his smile caused his dimples to show making you look at the television.

The soft lull of the show made you tired and you could feel your eyelids getting heavier. Namjoon took note of it but said nothing as he wanted you to completely fall asleep. Seeing your head bob a few times he helped lay you down and covered you with the blanket. He set your bag on the floor along with all of your weapons from off your body.

“Sweet dreams, my little zombie killer,” Namjoon whispered as his attention turned back to the show on the screen.

You had woken up to the sound of a thud from outside of the door. You recognized the growling and screeching of a goddamn zombie. Patting your body down, you couldn’t feel any weapons. You looked around to find them next to you on the floor. You quickly picked up your pistol and stood by the door. Waiting for it to come through, once the door opened you shot it. The body fell to the floor only for you to realize it was Namjoon. The actual zombie laid torn apart on the floor behind him. There was no guarantee Namjoon would survive that but usually, you have to shoot them twice.

He didn't move for a while so you crouched down and poked his shoulder. You heard him groan before he propped himself up with his arms. His tainted, dark blood was pooling on the ground under him. He sat back on his heels and took a deep breath.

"Are-are you okay, Namjoon?" you stuttered as you placed your hand on his shoulder.

The next moment you were on your back with him laying on you. You froze, not knowing what he would do. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, "My name sounds nice when you say it."

You let a shaky breath you were holding before resting your free hand on his back. Feeling the blood seeping through your clothes, you tapped him to have him lift his head. Sure enough, your whole stomach was now covered in his almost black blood.

Namjoon lifted your shirt over your head and stood up to toss it into the corner. You quickly cross your arms over your chest to hide your embarrassing worn-out bra but Namjoon tried his best to pretend like he didn’t see anything. Helping you to stand, he brought you over to a large bucket of water and took a rag from it. He was on his knees as he wiped away all of his blood from your skin. He looked up to your cheeks that were a dark red hue and grinned.

“I didn’t expect you to shoot me in the head,” he was only teasing but he wanted to see your reaction.

“Sorry,” you mumbled and you allowed him to clean your stomach off longer than necessary.

“What was that?” Namjoon was having fun giving you a hard time while he finished cleaning up the blood before he gently wiped his face so he wouldn’t tear his dead skin, then he went to get you a clean shirt from the bag he had in the corner.

“You heard what I said,” you grumbled as you snatched the shirt away from him.

You weren’t really good at interacting with people. Through the whole zombie apocalypse thing, you had kind of thrown all of your social skills out the window. You didn’t mean to come off as rude to the one person helping you, but you couldn’t help but get flustered. It’s not like you were going to stay here for long anyway. You needed to get back on the road by tomorrow.

You then began to wonder how long he's been here. But you were also too afraid to ask. That would be being nosy right? You have no idea what he's been through and it might set him off, so you kept your thoughts to yourself.

You didn't have time to think about the handsome zombie in front of you. You needed to think about where to go next. Speaking of which, Namjoon had been watching your expressions, wondering what you were thinking about.

His partly deteriorated brain began to wander with questions about you. How long have you been alone? Where were you from? He knew you spoke English but that was no indicator of where you were from. Just look at him, he knew a few languages himself so he couldn’t exactly pinpoint where you would be from. Where were you going next? What were you looking for? Who were you looking for? Could it be a lover of yours?

He stopped. Why would he care if you had a significant other? He didn't. Right? Cause it doesn’t matter.

"So, I suppose I should get going," you walked over to your pile of weapons before strapping them and tucking them in their designated places. Since you had a little time to think now, it was decided that you should leave as soon as possible. Just thinking of spending another night in the same four walls terrified you.

“What if the group of masked killers is still around? You’ll need someone to show you the back routes,” Namjoon spoke quickly. He couldn’t understand why he needed to spend more time with you, but he just knew he feared you leaving him. Namjoon did his part in making sure you got somewhere safe off of the boat yesterday. He told himself he would have nothing else to do with you after that, humans never last long anymore.

“I mean...if you want to,” you weren’t going to force someone to venture with you out in the world during the apocalypse. Then again, he was a zombie and couldn’t be killed easily. He could prove to be useful on your trip for whatever distance he’s willing to go. It doesn’t seem like there’s much happening in this abandoned room of his.

All Namjoon did was nod and walk across the room to pack a bag. He decided that there was no way in hell he was going to let you wander around on your own. He doesn’t care how well you can take care of yourself. You needed protecting and that was exactly what he was going to do. He was able to take a shotgun to the head, he will risk his undead life for you.

Namjoon realized where his thoughts were going. Maybe this whole being undead thing was truly affecting his decision-making. He just met you yesterday and he’s willing to die for you? However, all those thoughts disappeared once he turned around and his eyes were set on you once again. As they always should be.

He will keep you safe.

Walking out of the building that Namjoon had been living in for over a year was easier than he thought would be. He heard the peaceful silence of the streets while walking beside you and realized he never took the time to breathe. Figuratively of course. Namjoon wasn’t used to the quiet as he would normally be chased or even in his room he would always have the television on as background noise. Something he felt was needed so he wouldn’t lose his sanity. He began to prefer the quiet more than a constant noise.

You did prefer the quiet, most of the time. There were times where you absolutely hated it. Hated it enough to want to take your knives and dig them into your eardrums so you would go deaf. That type of quiet was the type to have your ears ringing and your breathing sound like you were panting. Even making your heartbeat pound in your ears to attempt to drown out the unbearable silence.

The quiet you loved was broken when a zombie tripped over something metal. Without hesitating, you pulled out your gun and shot it in the head. Your aim has become exceptional since this all started. You slowly approached it and shot it in the head again. You’ve learned to make sure they’re done for by shooting them twice before they could recover.

Namjoon stood there, fascinated by how quickly you reacted. He barely had enough time to notice the zombie before you shot it. You were practically a zombie killing machine. But how many times have you had to fight off these flesh-eating corpses by yourself? God, all he wanted to do was to take all the bad from your life and leave only the good. He had been lonely and at first, scared. He could only imagine how you felt at the beginning of all of this and learning to survive through it. He truly wanted to help you. And he will.

✄ ✄ ✄

It took about an hour and a half to weave through the alleys and side streets to avoid the group that was hunting for any walking being that was and wasn’t minding their own business. Finally, the two of you were out of the city and you found an SUV in acceptable condition. You hot-wired it and waited until Namjoon climbed in to start driving down the deserted country road.

The absence of zombies had made it easy for you and Namjoon to get away. Somehow, one of the stations on the radio was working so that's what you opted to listen to for now. It was a song that sounded familiar but you couldn't remember where you had heard it. Namjoon had suddenly asked a question that caught you a little off guard.

"Do you like these guys?" his voice was even for the most part but it seemed he wanted a certain answer.

"I'm not sure who this is exactly. The song sounds familiar though," hopefully you gave the right response. If there was a way to trigger something in him to make him turn completely into a cannibalistic undead monster, you didn't want to find it.

“They’re - sorry, they were called BTS. Making their way to the top of the world,” you could hear the sadness in Namjoon’s voice that was no doubt about to crack from the strong emotion he was feeling.

“You were a part of that group, weren’t you?” you asked quietly as you kept your eyes on the road, occasionally glancing behind you in the review mirror.

Namjoon let out a small, saddened chuckle as he nodded, “Yeah, I was.”

You remembered watching them answer questions before one of the award ceremonies that your mother always insisted on watching. They seemed so close and genuinely nice even as they were asked dumb, demeaning inquiries.

“I’m sorry,” was the only thing you could say.

“It’s okay, I know that the three who were able to escape are out there somewhere,” he sniffled, how that worked, you didn’t really know but ignored it as his words sunk in.

“May...I ask what happened?” hopefully you wouldn’t regret your words.

He let out a humorless laugh once again, “Long story short, we walked right into the lion’s den without knowing it. It was when the outbreak first began. Couple dozen of ‘em, easily, surrounded us, and while the three were able to escape...the other four of us weren’t so lucky.” He took a deep breath that wasn’t able to allow him the same stabilizing feeling as it once did, before continuing, “I was the only one who was still able to function as a normal human. Even though my heart was no longer beating and my lungs were longer deflating and inflating. The rest were just like the other mindless cannibals looking to eat people.”

You could see that he had tears in his fog-like eyes. Suddenly, you had a thought, “What if we went looking for the other three of your friends?”

The idea was bizarre even to you, but you won’t take it back. If there were more people out there, why wouldn’t you try to find them? You had no problem with joining other people, as long as they had no means of harming you or your newfound friend. Even if y

“You would do that? For us?”

“...Yes. Just tell me what kind of places they would go, and I’ll help you get there. To be with your friends once again,” you couldn’t save your family and friends but maybe you can help save his.

#yandere #yandere namjoon #bts namjoon #kim namjoon #bts rm #yandere rm #namjoon x reader #yandere x reader #zombie #zombie namjoon #yandere namjoon x reader #rm x reader #yandere male #yandere bts

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change-life-change-world · 2 years

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Moderate Yin and Yang Food That Will Keep You Fit And Healthy

If you balance your diet with moderate-energy foods, you can easily keep your body and mind healthy. Avoid extreme yin and yang foods and have these moderate foods.

Hello, I'm Hiroyuki Naka, a macrobiotic mentor.

Last time I listed some foods with extreme yin and yang qualities that are difficult to balance. Here are some moderate-energy foods to balance your diet to achieve health and freedom.

These moderate energy foods are relatively easy to balance and can be divided into moderate yin and moderate yang.

If you’re sick, suffering from a cold, or the COVID-19 that’s currently sweeping the world, and you’re feeling physically drained, you should choose what to eat from these moderate yin foods or moderate yang foods I'm going to show you.

Let’s begin with grains.

Moderate yin grains are sprouted brown rice, green rice, oatmeal, sorghum, couscous, job’s tears, pressed barley, whole barley, whole wheat flour, whole wheat udon noodle, whole wheat somen noodle, corn, and polenta.

Moderate yang grains include brown rice, red rice, black rice, whole buckwheat, barnyard millet, foxtail millet, common millet, quinoa, amaranthus, glutenous brown rice, whole wheat pasta, 100% buckwheat noodle, and whole wheat natural yeast bread.

Next, vegetables.

Moderate yin vegetables are leaf vegetables such as Japanese mustard spinach, edible chrysanthemum, pak choi, Chinese cabbage, tah tsai, okahijiki (Salsola komarovii), Mitsuba (Japanese parsley), Daikon leaf, radish, wasabi leaf, turnip leaf, Seri (Japanese parsley), watercress, Mizuna greens, mustard leaf, and rape leaf.

White leek, parsley, celery, broccoli, and cucumber.

Snap peas, green peas, green beans. Sprouts such as bean sprouts, radish sprouts, and alfalfa sprouts. Lettuce.

Edible wild plants come out in spring such as Fuki-noto (Japanese butterbur), and bamboo shoots.

Mushrooms such as dried shiitake mushroom, fresh shiitake mushroom, shimeji mushroom, maitake mushroom, enoki mushroom, matsutake mushroom, nameko mushroom, and mushroom.

Taro, konnyaku, horse radish, and ginger.

Seeds and nuts such as almonds, peanuts, sunflower seeds, walnut, and ginkgo nut are moderate yin.

Moderate yang vegetables are root vegetables such as burdock, lotus root, carrot, daikon radish, dried strips of daikon radish, Japanese yam, and turnip. Round vegetables such as cabbage, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, pumpkin, and onion.

Chestnut, sesame seed, pumpkin seed, and Yoshino kudzu are moderate yang.

Moderate yin beans are soybean, natto, tempeh, tofu, pinto bean, fava bean, chickpea, kidney bean, mung bean, edamame (young soybean), and soybean product such as fried tofu, soy milk, and okara (soy pulp).

Moderate yang beans are lentil, azuki, black soybean, and Koya-tofu (freeze-dried tofu).

Moderate yin seaweeds are nori, aonori, mozuku, agar, wakame, mekabu, and mehibi.

Moderate yang seaweeds are hijiki, arame, and kelp.

Next, fruit.

Moderate yin fruits are tangerine, orange, lemon, peach, Japanese pear, pear, melon, watermelon, grape, and persimmon.

Moderate yang fruits are apple, berries such as strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, cranberry, and blackberry, and dried fruit such as raisin and cherry.

As for seasonings, white miso, vinegar, barley miso, rape seed oil, olive oil, and corn oil are moderate yin.

Natural sea salt, blended miso, rice miso, soybean miso, soy sauce, plum vinegar, and sesame oil are moderate yang.

Moderate yin condiments good to eat brown rice with are perilla condiment, wakame condiment, and aonori condiment.

Gomashio (salt with sesame) and tekka miso are moderate yang.

Among pickles, Bettara-zuke, Nara-zuke, Nozawana-zuke, Asa-zuke, sweet ginger pickles, and German salt pickled cabbage Sauerkraut are relatively yin.

Takuan, Nuka-zuke (typical Japanese pickles made of fermented rice bran), Furu-zuke, and Umeboshi (pickled salty plum) are yang.

Among sweeteners, brown rice amazake, beet sugar, maple syrup, and apple juice are yin, and rice malt syrup is yang. Raisins are used as sweetener occasionally which is yang.

As for tea, Mugi-cha (roasted barley tea) drunk often in the summertime in Japan, green tea and herbal tea are yin.

Hoji-cha, San-nen-bancha, Kuki-cha (green tea mainly uses stems instead of leaves), roasted grain beverage are yang, and dandelion coffee (roasted dandelion root) is very yang.

And animal-derived foods of moderate energy compared to the extreme yang animal-derived foods I mentioned former are white-fleshed fish such as sea bass, flatfish, flounder, sillago, sea bream, cod, and tilefish, and river fish such as carp, crucian carp, sweetfish, trout, and rockfish, and shellfish such as Japanese clam, oyster, abalone, and turban shell.

Those foods of moderate energy are relatively easy to balance, but if you continue to eat the same food as it is said to be good for health, you’ll get biased yin or yang anyways which leads to sickness or illness.

To avoid that, when you eat yin food, it is necessary to prepare yang food to make balance, and vice versa is right.

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Originally distributed by Hiroyuki Naka, a macrobiotic mentor, as an E-mail newsletter in Japanese on Feb 8th 2022.

Translated by Meerabai

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

"What Is the Difference Between People Who Are Infected With COVID-19 And Those Who Are Not?"

Hiroyuki Naka, a macrobiotic mentor explains the difference through the yin-yang theory.

A-must-see YouTube video by Hiroyuki Naka.

youtube

English subtitle coming soon!

#Moderate yin and yang foods #macrobiotics #the Order of the Universe #healthy diet #Hiroyuki Naka #Michio Kushi #yin and yang

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pototters · 4 years

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Strawberry Flavored Cranberries

A/N: Inspired by a tweet I saw where someone asked what you would call a strawberry flavored cranberry. My response to them was “KiriBaku”. It’s KiriBaku.

Please enjoy this little fluff piece that I FINALLY managed to get transferred here properly~

Warnings: Bakugo curses a lot

KiriBaku

Words: 2,818

The self-proclaimed Bakusquad were enjoying their summer break at the beach just days before the start of their third year. Kirishima had somehow convinced Bakugo to tag along, but if anyone were to ask their other friends, they’d say that Bakugo simply couldn’t say no to Kirishima. Mina, Sero, and Kaminari all had their suspicions as to why, but Kirishima lived in the denial of his own feelings towards their explosive friend. There was just no way that Bakugo could ever like him back.

Whatever the reason, Bakuogo had come along and the five of them sat on the beach after a long day, enjoying some watermelon. They’d bought three, at Kirishima’s insistence, and were currently working through the second one. Kaminari had watched half in fascination and half in disgust as their redheaded friend devoured nearly an entire melon by himself. “Dude, are you even spitting out the seeds? You’re practically inhaling that watermelon. At least breathe between slices.”

Sero snickered as he commented, “He’s gonna be shitting seeds for a week.” Kirishima slushed, but didn’t get a chance to defend himself as Kaminari cut in, again.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he just turned into a watermelon with how much he’s eating!” Mina and Sero cackled at the thought as Bakugo quietly called him an idiot.

Kirishima’s flush only darkened. “That’s not funny, man. I just really like watermelon, okay? It’s good for you.” Kaminari patted him on the shoulder with another chuckle.

“It’s cool, dude. I’m just pretty sure I’d puke if I ate as much as you do. We still have dinner to eat later, and I know you won’t be skipping it even after eating all this watermelon.” Kirishima grinned a bit sheepishly, knowing his friend was right about that. His stomach was a bottomless pit, and he always ate a ton. While he always loved to eat meat, he had a secret soft spot for sweets and he tried to eat the healthy ones when he could. Like watermelon.

Mina chewed thoughtfully on her current slice, carefully spitting out a few seeds into the sand. “I dunno, you guys. I’m pretty sure Kirishima is already like a watermelon.” She grinned as the guys stared at her with baffled expressions. “Think about it! Watermelon is red, sweet, and everyone loves it!” A laugh escaped her as Kirishima turned the color of his hair.

“Mina, not everyone loves me. Geez.” He shook his head. “That would be impossible.”

“Not true!” She pointed at him. “Name one person who doesn’t like you.”

Kirishima opened and closed his mouth as he thought hard about it. “Villains. That’s a whole lot of people.” He shoved more watermelon in his mouth, grinning in triumph. Mina rolled her eyes.

“Villains don’t count, Kiri. You’re a hero. Of course they don’t like you. They don’t like any hero.”

“Actually, back in first year, I heard about one of the guys he helped take down in the Hassaikai took a shining to him. Wouldn’t shut up about wanting to fight him again.” Sero interjected, picking up another slice for himself.

Mina gaped. “Are you serious? For crying out loud, Kiri. Even villains like you.”

Kirishima pouted as he looked away, feeling the heat in his face build. “That was just one.” He paused a moment as he thoughtfully took another bite of melon and swallowed it. “Monoma doesn’t like me,” he said quietly.

“Since when does Monoma not like you?” Kaminari asked incredulously. “Sure, the dude can be a real annoying asshole, but I’ve never heard him say a word about you that was negative.”

Kirishima pouted even more. “But he can’t stand our class. He always takes the opportunity to say so.”

“Yeah, but that’s as a whole. Like Kaminari said, he’s just an annoying asshole. I don’t think he has anything against you personally.” Sero pointed out as Mina nodded her agreement.

“You’re all a bunch of fucking idiots.” Bakugo, who had been quietly eating his watermelon, finally spoke up. The others gave him a confused look.

“Let me guess, you’re gonna sit there and tell us we’re wrong?” Kaminari jeered as he narrowed his gaze at their explosive friend.

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “So what if I fucking am? If you’re wrong, I’m going to call it out.”

“All right, then, Mr. Smart Guy, what did we say that’s wrong?” Sero challenged. Kirishima watched Bakugo closely as a frown etched even deeper into his best friend’s mouth. Bakugo’s gaze dropped to the piece of watermelon in his hands, quiet as he seemed to contemplate something.

“Kirishima isn’t like watermelon, at all.” There was a surprised silence as they waited for him to keep going. “Not everyone likes watermelon. It’s disgusting.”

“You’re literally eating a slice of it right now.” Kaminari dead panned.

Bakugo growled at him. “That’s besides the fucking point!” His voice began to rise in volume. “It’s got all these stupid seeds you have to eat around, which is fucking annoying, and if you eat too close to the rind, the flavor turns bitter! That’s nothing like Kirishima in the slightest!”

It was quiet another moment as the rest of them processed what Bakugo had said. Kirishima felt the air rush from his lungs as he stared at him with wide eyes. Bakugo had all but complimented him, which was a rarity coming from him. Mina slowly smirked at Kaminari, who tried to hide his growing grin. Sero gaped, still stunned at how vehemently Bakugo denied that Kirishima and watermelon were alike.

Finally, Mina asked, a sly smile on her face, “Okay, if he’s not like watermelon, then what fruit is he like?” As they watched him, waiting for his answer, Kirishima could have sworn he saw the lightest dusting of pink color on his best friend’s features.

Without looking at any of them, Bakugo tossed away his half eaten slice and wiped his hands on his swim shorts. “A strawberry.” He’d said it quietly, but it was definitely loud enough for them to all hear.

Still, “What was that, Blasty? I’m not sure I quite heard you,” Kaminari said with a shit eating grin. Kirishima threw a near mortified glare at him, but Bakugo took the bait.

“I said, he’s like a fucking strawberry! They’re sweet and literally everyone likes them! Watermelon is so fucking tasteless. Plus, they’re not annoying to eat!” Bakugo’s face had turned a mottled red as his temper flared, though his friends suspected there was a secondary reason, as well.

Kirishima buried his face in his hands out of sheer embarrassment. That had definitely been a compliment. A very high one, at that.

“I dunno, man.” Sero challenged thoughtfully. “They do have those leaves at the top you have to eat around.”

“Tch, so?” Bakugo glared at him. “Everyone has something annoying about them, but those leaves are easy to remove.” Kirishima’s thoughts were running wild with that remark. Just what was Bakugo getting at?!

Kirishima couldn’t lift his gaze, yet, the watermelon forgotten next to him. His heart raced in his chest as he forced himself not to look too deeply into Bakugo’s straight forward compliment. There was no way there was any kind of deeper meaning to it, no matter how much he wanted it to.

No one was saying anything, and the silence was starting to get to him. Finally, before he could go crazy, Mina let out a heavy sigh. “Okay. I’m convinced. Kirishima is a strawberry.” She smiled and gave a shrug as Kirishima’s head snapped up, shooting her a shocked glare. “Sorry, sweetie, but he’s got a point.”

Kirishima stuck out his lower lip. “Yeah, well, then you’re a pineapple.” Mina gave him a bewildered look.

“A pineapple? How am I a pineapple?”

Kirishima grinned, feeling his face slowly return to a normal temperature as his heart calmed with the distraction. “They’re super acidic, which matches your quirk, but they’re still really sweet and fun to eat.”

Mina laughed, “Hell yeah! I love it!”

Kaminari smirked as he puffed up his chest. “Well, I know that I’m a peach.” They all laughed, but Bakugo scoffed.

“You ain’t a damn peach, dunce face.”

Kaminari gaped at him with indignation, deflating a little. “Well, it’s not like you’re exactly a peach yourself, you damn lemon!” Sero and Mina went into hysterics as Bakugo growled in response.

“He’s definitely a lemon! Such a sour puss!” Sero cackled as he agreed with Kaminari. Kirishima didn’t laugh, though, as he finally looked over at Bakugo. His best friend glared at the others, but Kirishima quickly looked away when their eyes met for barely a moment.

Mina was the first to notice that Kirishima wasn’t joining in on their laughter. “What’s wrong, Kiri? You think he’s something else?”

Kirishima flushed, then nodded slightly. “Yeah. I don’t think he’s like a lemon.” He could feel Bakugo’s stare on the side of his head as though he might burn a hole through his skull. He said nothing else, though, the rate of his heart kicking back up as it pounded in his chest.

They were waiting for him to go on, but he seemed stuck. Would his answer give away how he felt about his best friend? He didn’t want to risk ruining their friendship over a silly crush that he couldn’t seem to get over no matter how hard he tried. Bakugo was always so good at reading him, surely he’d see through him right away.

“What’s he like, then, Kiri?” Damn. Mina asked, so now he had to answer. He brought his knees up to his chest, and put his head between them.

“C-cranberry.” He stuttered out, feeling his face flame, and he knew he had to match his hair. There was a moment of silence; the only sound was the crash of the nearby waves, and Kirishima was certain they could hear his heart hammering against his ribcage as it threatened to burst from his chest.

Finally, “Cranberry?! That’s not even a fruit! It’s a berry!” Kaminari exclaimed loudly.

Kirishima looked up with indignation, “Well, so is a strawberry! What does it matter?” He heard Bakugo snort and call them idiots, but he ignored it as Kaminari let out a huff.

“Whatever.” Kaminari leaned back on his arms in the sand and stretched out his legs, smiling smugly. “I decided. I don’t care what Bakugo says, I am a peach.” Sero immediately scoffed as Mina cackled, and the three of them immediately began to argue about what kind of fruit Kaminari really was. Kirishima would have joined in, but he could still feel Bakugo’s gaze on him and it made him uneasy. He couldn’t breathe. Bakugo was smart and very perceptive. What had he seen in Kirishima’s answer?

Standing up, he muttered that he was going down to the water and walked away. Their friends continued to argue, barely acknowledging that he was getting up. Once Kirishima reached the water, he let the waves lap at his feet; the cool water felt nice after walking across the burning sand. As he stood there, he let the rushing sound of the water calm him.

He took in a deep breath before letting it all out, attempting to dispel his anxiety. The sun was nearing the horizon and would be setting soon. It had been a good day, all in all. He only hoped that he hadn’t ruined it by speaking carelessly.

“Hey.”

His heart kicked up nervously as Kirishima turned at the rough voice of his best friend behind him. He tried for a smile, but wasn’t sure how successful he was. “Hey.” Bakugo frowned, probably catching the uneasy waver to Kirishima’s voice.

Glancing behind him at their friends for a moment, Bakugo clapped his hand on Kirishima’s shoulder and gently pushed him down the beach. “Let’s walk for a bit. Those idiots won’t notice if we’re gone for a while.” Without resistance, not even the slightest hesitation, Kirishima easily followed Bakugo’s lead down the shore. They walked leisurely, both of them quiet for the moment.

“You okay?” The sudden question caught Kirishima off guard, but he grinned as he nudged Bakugo’s shoulder with his own.

“Wow, first a compliment, now concern? Careful, Bakugo, I might start to think you actually like me.” Kirishima laughed, though he felt a tightness in his chest.

“God, you’re fucking dense. Of course I like you, dumb ass.” Surprise cut off Kirishima’s laugh as he stared wide-eyed at Bakugo. There it was - the telltale signs of a blush coloring Bakugo’s features. Kirishima hadn’t imagined it before, then. Bakugo stopped walking and Kirishima faltered, nearly tripping a step ahead of him.

“I mean,” Kirishima started, “I knew you had to at least tolerate me because you let me say we’re friends, but… I didn’t expect you to actually say it.” Lifting a hand, he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Bakugo’s jaw dropped with indignation, his temper flaring up. “Almost three years and you still think I just tolerate you?! Fucking hell, you really make me spell everything out for you.” Stepping forward, he grabbed Kirishima at the nape of his neck, and then their mouths were pressed together in a firm kiss.

Kirishima was too shocked to react, his body seizing up until Bakugo finally pulled away. Kirishima stared at his best friend, his mouth opening to speak, but no words came out. Bakugo couldn’t seem to meet his gaze as he continued to grasp Kirishima’s neck, fingers twining his hair, ungelled from swimming all day.

“Bakugo, I-”

“Shut up. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to get you to notice how I feel?” Kirishima opened his mouth, but Bakugo cut him off, again. “Don’t answer that. Of course, you don’t. You’re so fucking dense.” Bakugo finally looked up at him with a wry smile. Kirishima flushed immediately, and his hands flew to cup both sides of Bakugo’s face.

“I like you, too, Bakugo!” Bakugo snorted, then laughed. Laughed. Kirishima was breathless at the sound, loving it even though it was at his expense.

“Yeah, I know. You aren’t very good at hiding how you feel. You’re always wearing your damn heart on your sleeve.” Bakugo grinned and Kirishima’s heart fluttered.

“That’s not fair, Bakugo. If you knew all this time, why didn’t you tell me?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “I just did, didn’t I? I wanted to give you a chance to figure it out on your own, but I underestimated just how oblivious you are.” He didn’t mean it in a malicious way, but Kirishima still pouted.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Kirishima blinked as he realized something. “Wait, then, all that stuff about me being like a strawberry? That was a real compliment?”

His best friend, maybe boyfriend, smirked as he raised a brow. “When do I ever say something I don’t mean?” All the time, is what Kirishima would have answered, but saying something like that about someone was definitely something Bakugo would never say lightly. Kirishima felt his eyes start to water, his chest swelling with love and affection for the blond. “Dude, are you gonna cry, right now? What the hell?”

Kirishima laughed and surged forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Bakugo’s torso. “I’m really happy! I’m… relieved. I’ve been holding back so long because I was afraid of ruining our friendship.” Kirishima sniffled lightly and he felt Bakugo’s hand cup the back of his head.

He heard Bakugo give a soft sigh. “You couldn’t do that. Not you.” There was an implication behind Bakugo’s phrasing, but Kirishima couldn’t quite grasp what it was, and he let it go. Pulling back from the hug, Kirishima shyly pulled his lower lip between his teeth and chewed it carefully.

“Uh, do you think we could… kiss, again? I wasn’t exactly prepared for the first one.” Bakugo blinked, then immediately grinned.

“Definitely.” Kirishima felt himself being pulled back in and their lips found each other a second time. It was much softer than the first, less exasperated, and lasted longer. All of their emotions combined in the gentle action, and Kirishima felt as though his world had finally shifted fully into place.

They finally broke apart when they heard their friends wolf whistling and cat-calling them from down the beach. Kirishima flushed as Bakugo turned to flip them off. Despite that, he was grinning when he turned back around. “Ignore those bastards.” Bakugo’s warm fingers gently brushed back some stray strands of Kirishima’s hair from his face, giving him a curious look. “Before we head back, I gotta know - What did you mean back there when you said that I was like a cranberry?”

The blush across Kirishima’s face deepened as he gave Bakugo the biggest sharp-toothed grin he’d had all afternoon. “That’s easy! You’re like a cranberry because you’re tart, but then sometimes so unexpectedly sweet!”

“...You idiot.”

#my work #bakukiri #kiribaku #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #bakugo katsuki #kirishima eijirou #bakugo #kirishima #bakushima

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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 4 years

Text

A Never-Ending Feast

Yes, it is me again. Really we all should have expected this, but when Jester pulled out Heroes' Feast in episode 105, my friend alixcat basically said, yeah, you are writing a fic about Jester using Heroes' Feast right? And I was like....yeah, you right. I'm back on my Labor of Love bullshit 24/7. This one's for you!

Jester often shows love through acts of service, OR 5 times that Jester summoned a feast for others and the 1 time she made a feast for herself.

Bon appetit!

Read on AO3

Preview:

The trudge to the inn was a terrible one. It was one of those summer days that clung to your skin and sowed misery with the humidity. It was almost a relief for it to start raining, but as soon as it did the wind howled and shook the trees with intensity, and the sky cracked open with lightning and thunder. Yasha looked unbothered by the storm, but Beau grumbled and trudged her way through the front door of the inn looking like she had been personally insulted. It didn’t help that when they ordered food, all they received was burnt chicken and wilted vegetables coated in oil.

“I can’t believe we spent money on this shit,” Beauregard snapped, her temper hot and lashing like a whip. She cast a dirty look to the innkeeper, who plainly ignored it and continued on with their day.

“I know what will make us all feel better,” Jester said, fluttering her fingers with her excitement. “I have that new spell that makes the food! Everyone, let’s go upstairs to our room and I’ll make us a feast!”

“I’m down,” Fjord said, picking up a particularly sad looking green bean from his plate and watching it flop around in an extremely unappetizing manner, not that Jester ever believed that beans were good. They were one of those things that Mama swore were good for her, but if they were so good for her then maybe they ought to taste good too! Regardless of her feelings about green beans, the Mighty Nein all followed Jester up to their room, where she settled down on a blanket and pulled out her jewel encrusted goblet. For a moment she prayed, and then the Traveler’s energy pulsed through her.

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask.

I’m thinking...summer! The kind of things you would eat on a beautiful summer day, the kind of summer day that Beau would love, not whatever this shitty day is!

Magic overflowed from the goblet, and out from the ground plates patterned with flowers, and bowls of porcelain began to appear like they were sprouting flowers and tall grasses. Strawberry shortcakes with dollops of indulgent creams that were scented of vanilla and the zest of lemons, peach crumbles with layers of streusel flavored with the warming spices of ginger and cinnamon to give it just a punch of flavor. Scoops of coconut ice cream covered in toasted coconuts and topped with pineapple sauce and bright cherries. Bananas dipped in chocolate and covered in toasted nuts and strawberries, slices of banana cream pie and rhubarb pie.

Veth picked up a glass bowl containing a trifle half the size of her body, layers of cake soaked in rum, blueberry sauce, custard, berries, and jelly that was arranged like a large fruit display. Caleb began cutting slices of a pavlova, sweet toasted meringue garnished with kiwis, passionfruit, strawberries and cream. Yasha and Fjord were busy sharing a pineapple upside down cake and coconut ice cream, as Beau worked on her own plate that she stacked high with pies baked into jars.

“I’ve never had iced tea before,” Caduceus said, taking a long indulgent sip from a glass.“Would you like some?”

“Oh yes!” Jester said as she took the glass. It was iced tea as her Mama made it, the signature Nicodranas brew layered with black-citrus tea with sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk. Jester sighed as the flavors mingled on her tongue. She took a mouthful of streusel next, sighing as the tender peach melted her in mouth with the brown sugar and coconut and made the flavor of summer. She dipped forkfuls of banana cream pie in pineapple sauce, cut chocolate covered bananas to add to her slice of pavlova. She took indulgent sips of different drinks to refresh her palate and add more flavor, watermelon tea or frosted lemonade or fizzing fruity floats with scoops of ice cream that melted into foam that lapped at the edge of goblets the size of bowls.

By the time the hour was up and the feast vanished, Jester had truly eaten her fill. She sighed as she settled into bed that night. For a moment she swore she felt Beau’s eyes on her.

“Thanks Jester,” Beau said, voice rough with feeling. “That did hit the spot.”

“Of course,” Jester said with a smile that Beau couldn’t see. “Any time.”

______________________________________

They sat camped outside the dungeon, in the bubble as Caleb meticulously casted. The villagers there had complained about something coming up from the depths of the old abandoned mine. Jester wondered idly if it could be gnolls again, but based on what Fjord and Beau had discovered while snooping about it seemed to be something far more...trickey.

“We just don’t know what we are gonna be walking into,” Fjord said worriedly as he balanced the Star Razor across his knees. Yasha who had been minding the perimeter came back and settled down, looking a bit unnerved. Jester felt a quiet sense of concern for her. It really was awful how she kept getting mind-controlled all the time! Jester would need to talk to the Traveler about that some time to see if she could help.

“If we hit it hard enough, it’ll fall,” Veth said, cocking her crossbow confidently.

“It might not hurt to prepare ourselves though,” Caleb said as he sat himself down next to Veth. Caleb then caught Jester’s attention with an awkward wave. “Jester, would you be, perhaps, capable of creating that feast again? To...ah...bolster our efforts?”

“Yeah, yeah yeah yeah,” Jester said thinking about it. “I can do that today!”

“Can you include some meat?” Veth said, picking at her teeth. “Any at all?”

“I have to give Caduceus something to eat!” Jester said, reminding Veth as she pulled out her bowl.

“Aw, that’s nice,” Caduceus hummed as he fixed his sleeping bag.

Jester settled it on the ground, and as she had done before she called the Traveler’s power to her.

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask.

I’m thinking...warm and filling! Something crisp like an apple on a brisk fall day, and the flavors of a Harvest Close Festival.

And there on plates and bowls patterned with leaves in brilliant autumn colors was their feast. A whole roast duck glazed with orange sauce and served on a platter on a smear of plum applesauce with skin so crispy that it cracked when Caleb took his first bite. Bowls full of sunny pumpkin soup topped with crisped onion, that paired perfectly with loaves of bread that were stuffed with fennel-pork sausage that Beau downed so quickly that Jester was half sure it would be more effective to just raise the bowl to her lips. Rabbit in rosemary-wine sauce, served with sides of potatoes mixed together with a spicy savory mustard, and mushroom risotto with rice so tender it brought tears to the eyes.

And then of course dessert, which Jester was mostly concerned about and wouldn’t dare to stint on the servings. Apple pie with cinnamon-sugar dusted on crumbling crusts. Baked apples covered luxuriously thick caramel sauce and covered in peanuts, and elephant ears swirled in cinnamon and drizzled with frosting. There were slices of smooth and glossy pumpkin pie and crunchy and delicately sweet pecan pies topped with dollops of whipped cream, and sweet potato cheesecake with gingersnap streusel crumbled on top. Goblets were full of apple cider, or hot chocolate with toasted marshmallows and drizzled with salted caramel, and coffee made buttery and rich with swirls of cream and brown sugar and even pumpkin. Butterscotch cookies pressed into the edges of large glasses of milk were what caught Jester's eyes first and foremost.

"This is my favorite thing," Jester said as she dipped the warm cookie into the glass of milk that had a rim encrusted with chocolate dust and cinnamon sugar, sighing as the butter, crunchy edges of the cookie, and the sweetened warm milk melted together in perfect harmony. Veth pressed in close to her, finishing off her plate before grabbing a glass of milk and cookies.

"This reminds me of when I was a girl," Veth laughed, her eyes misty. "But my mother wasn't nearly as good of a cook as your magic is."

“Aw, thank you,” Jester chirped, trading her now empty glass for a new plate and taking bites from pecan pie and long sips from cream-pumpkin-coffee. She gave Veth a side hug that Veth gladly leaned in to.

"It really is lovely," Caleb said, with a soft reflective look of his own as he stopped up soup with a piece of bread. His dark fingers sweeping around in a well practiced movement before popping the last piece of bread in his mouth.

“Hey, save some for the rest of us,” Beauregard teased as she elbowed Caleb.

“There’s plenty to share,” Veth argued with no heat. “I’ll make you a plate.”

Jester said nothing, but cuddled more firmly against Veth's side as she enjoyed her cookies in milk, thinking of a time with her own mother and perhaps something like this.

_______________________________

The ship rocked them back and forth as they gathered in the captain’s quarters. Jester had been full of energy ever since she learned that today was Fjord’s birthday. He had asked for nothing big or special, trying to argue that he couldn’t know his actual birthday and that he was getting too old for celebrations, but all of them had gotten him gifts regardless. Small little useful things, because Fjord would have surely refused anything more than that. Once the others had finish gifting things to Fjord, which he took with an increasingly tender and misty-eyed expression, Jester pulled out her jeweled goblet and set it upon the table. She casted the spell as she usually did, feeling her chest fill with the energy of her god.

What kind of feast are we having today? The Traveler asked curiously.

A celebration! Jester responded exuberantly. A fancy dinner party!

Upon the table that Fjord had set up, the plates and bowls and trays appeared, bubbling up from the spell like little boats buoyed on the water. A sweet and creamy lobster bisque, besides a tray of mussels steamed in white wine garlic and lemon juice, and nestled between buckwheat galettes made of salmon, capers, and dill. Mashed potatoes that were made smooth and rich with exorbitant amounts of butter found a place next to plates of mushrooms and gnocchi in a tomato cream sauce, and spicy butternut squash soup. Crispy crab cakes with a rainbow of dipping sauces in bowls shaped like shells and baked oysters dusted with spices and cheese. There was even a whole braised octopus in the center of the table, arranged among slices of lemon.

“I’ve never had anything like this,” Caleb admitted as he looked at the perfect slices of raw tuna in a loose approximation of a raw bar. “Is this supposed to be raw?”

“It tastes pretty good,” Veth said, scooping up her own serving of the ceviche of raw tuna marinated in lime juice and tossed with onions, tomatoes, avocados, and cilantro. She slurped down mussels at an alarming rate and did her best to encourage Caleb to cry the crispy calamari with the garlic aioli and the steamer swimming in butter.

"Look, our favorite!" Fjord said, sharing a knowing look with Beau and Yasha as he motioned to the plate full of fried fish and potatoes with tartar sauce. Beau and Yasha laughed as they loaded up their plates, pressing the flaky white fish into sandwiches made from the warm fresh white bread.

“What’s for dessert?” Caduceus asked curiously.

“Chocolate! You can’t really have a birthday without a chocolate cake,” Jester said excitedly as she moved to cut slices of a decadent chocolate cake, moist and sweet and filled with chocolate cream and raspberry sauce, settled besides saucers of chocolate mousse, and crisp cannolis filled with sweetened ricotta and chocolate chips. Chocolate covered strawberries were gathered in a luxurious array of white, milk, and dark and covered with nuts and candies. Stacks of salted caramel millionaire’s shortbread with crisp butter-cookie sandwiching layers of caramel and covered in chocolate, even bubbling pots of chocolate and caramel fondue with a wide array of fruits and snacks to dip into the heavenly smelling liquid.

“Thank you, Jester,” Fjord said with a wide smile that had lantern-light glinting off his tusk. “Thank you all of you. This has really been the best birthday I have ever had.”

“Don’t forget to blow out your candles!” Jester said, offering him a slice of his cake. Beauregard reached over to the goblet and pulled out a candle, passing it to Veth who planted it on his cake. Caleb reached out to punch the candle and it lit and began to glow.

Fjord blew out his candle, and closed his eyes to make a wish. As she took a bite of her own slice of cake and then dipping a forkful in the chocolate fondue, she wondered if any wish could top this simple pleasure as she pressed it against the top of her mouth so it could just melt away bit by bit and she could savor it. She would try to savor it all, for as long as she could.

____________________________

No one enjoyed trudging through a swamp, especially not Caduceus. Jester knew the Wildmother was a powerful god god, but it seemed to her that she could look out for Caduceus a little better. Jester found that the task often went to her, and of course she didn’t mind. Caduceus was steady as a rock, let Jester braid his hair, and listened intently whenever Jester rambled. The least Jester could do was yank Caduceus out of muck puddles whenever he fell in them, in return for being such a good friend. Jester could tell though that Caduceus was relieved when they stopped for the night, and Yasha who had fallen into a bush of prickers was just as excited to be bedding down. They would have a hard day ahead of them the next day, this Jester knew. So when Yasha quietly asked her if she could cast Heroes’ Feast to aid them, Jester already knew what was on the menu.

What sort of feast tickles your fancy, my dear Jester? The Traveler asked her.

Now seems as good a time as any to have an afternoon tea!

At night?

Of course, duh!

I do love the way you think. The Traveler chuckled as the goblet summoned for them their feast, spreading it about the dome.

Their afternoon tea was spread out on three tier and four tier porcelain stands decorated in flowering vines, kettles appeared and whistled merrily as they did as did beautiful tea sets in a variety of flowering colors and painted with rabbits and ducklings. Nestled among the kettles and tea cups were pots of toppings, from sunshine yellow lemon curd to vibrant marmalade and a treasure trove of jams to clotted cream and thick yellow custard. There was a stand of finger sandwiches all cut in diagonals, like cucumber and herbal butter, watercress and fluffy egg salad, prosciutto and goat cheese, and smoked salmon and cream cheese. One that Jester scooped up was a fluffernutter that made Jester smile. The next stand was a twisting array of scones filled with fruit or berries or nuts or spiced with cinnamon in turn, hearty spiced pumpkin muffins, blueberry muffins, lemon-poppy seed muffins, and danishes filled with jams or sweet cheeses and dusted with sugar or drizzled with vanilla frosting. And then of course, the cookies. Trays of cookies from madeleines with their shell-like filigree edges to smooth as button macarons to stacks of simple butter cookies and shortbread surrounded them like patches of wildflowers.

“Oh Jester, this is wonderful,” Caduceus sighed into his cup of tea. “Let me pour you a cup?”

Jester nodded enthusiastically as Caduceus poured her a cup of ruby-red tea. Jester took a sip and was immediately struck by the gorgeous strawberry almost malty note of it. Dipping in a shortbread cookie and eating it made her whimper with the sublime pleasure. The shortbread simply melted into her mouth like a dream, like it was meant to be together.

“It’s too bad we can’t stop for an afternoon tea every day,” Jester sighed as she excitedly cut open a scone to layer it with clotted cream and blueberry jam and lemon curd. Caleb watched her do this and mirrored it, though adding far less then she did of all three toppings except the lemon curd. Jester didn’t understand why he was being so stingy, but not everyone could truly appreciate sweets as she did.

“I can’t eat rich food too often,” Beauregard admitted as she cornered the market on tiny finger sandwiches. “It’s a nice once in a while thing, but otherwise it screws up my workout routine.”

“This is magic food though,” Veth pointed out. “Does it really count?”

“Tastes the same, and feels the same in my stomach,” Beauregard said with a shrug.

“What are these tiny orange things?” Yasha asked as she eyed a canape.

“That would be salmon roe,” Fjord explained and when seeing Yasha’s befuddled reaction further explained, “fish eggs.”

“Tasty,” Yasha said, offering no more explanation on that as she popped it in her mouth.

“All we need now is a fancy place to sleep,” Jester said excitedly as she poured another cup of tea and tried that one. This tea was bright and citrus and with a strong floral note, that perfectly matched the lemon-poppy seed muffin and was smoothed by the lemon-vanilla frosting on top. “You guys have got to try this tea! I’ll get everyone a cup!”

“It tastes like flowers,” Veth said, doing that thing where it sounded like she was complaining but she really wasn’t.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Caduceus asked, smile sweet on his face. Yasha smiled too, but didn’t say a word.

_____________________________________________

In Jester’s nightmares, there was a different kind of feast.

The room itself was familiar, and Jester could almost feel like she shouldn’t be there but couldn’t remember why in the haze of the dream. There was a single window above the door, casting the glow of a red and violet twilight across the room that was cluttered with bottles and jars and strange books and drying herbs. The only other light was fat candles of yellow-beeswax, choked by glass and made dim, and the dying embers of a hearth. The table was set for two, and yet as Jester looked around she was the only one in the cramped little home. Even the ceiling cages swung empty and creaking amongst the wooden slots. Jester took a seat, and just as she did she saw her goblet sat in the center of the empty table.

Her goblet overflowed, and out of the spreading liquid came a menagerie of sweets. Jester set herself upon them all with a reckless abandon. A strange sludge in a crusty bowl ended up being blueberry soups with dollops of sweet cream, overturned cups ended up being creme brulee with glistening caramel crusted on the tops, casseroles full of bread pudding steaming with cinnamon and drizzled with butterscotch and topped with ice cream flecked with ice cream. There was a bouquet of flowers that filled the air with their sugary scent, that as Jester plucked a beautiful pink bloom melted into her mouth with the flavor of rosehip and fairy floss. Forks melted in between her fingers and she realized they were made of chocolate, and the placemats were now made of crunchy honeycomb. She bit into her glass only to realize it was made of shards of sugar flavored with mint and the liquid within like pressed and sweetened lemons and melons. She took more ravenous bites, filled her plate high and yet somehow treats continued to spring from that never-ending goblet-

The liquid from her goblet splashed and overflowed as it turned over under the weight and gushed out like a strange pulsing wound, dripping off the edges of the tables and onto Jester’s skirt and seeped in. She recoiled from the sensation, scurrying away as she swiped at it with her fingers. With her vision and the dim light she could see that the liquid was a oily black. The candles all flickered as if shuddered by a breeze, the smoke hazy and twisting as it tickled the low-hanging herbs that were drying from the ceiling. The liquid began to splatter onto the scratched and dusty floor, pitter-pattering at an ever-increasing rate.

“Now, now my dear,” a familiar croaking voice said as a large hand settled upon her shoulder, fingernails slicing past layers of her cloak. Jester could hear the cracking of dusty-joints and the lumbering crunch of her footsteps. “You have prepared such a feast for me.”

“I...uh…” Jester squeaked as she felt a too long finger mind her neck. She didn’t dare to move, afraid that such a movement would slit her own throat, but let Isharnai tip her chin up and back so Jester could see the witch hunched over her.

“Such a precious giving girl,” Isharnai cooed, and her strange face came into focus, dull green eyes searching Jester for some truth that Jester desperately didn’t want to admit. “So full of misery. What a treat you are.”

“I’m not,” Jester said, her heart pulsing quick and fast in her ears. Her fingers were slick with the black liquid now, it was up to her thighs now bunching and collecting her skirts and glueing them to her legs. But it was her fingers-suddenly she couldn’t move them, as if she had gone numb at the wrist. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe as suddenly the panic overtook her. Where were her friends? Where had everyone gone-?

“We are friends. Friends don’t lie to each other,” Isharnai said, voice cruel with softness. “Now come, don’t you want your last cupcake?”

-Jester looked up to the table again and saw wilted flowers and cracked bowls and something bleeding-it was a heart and it was still beating and the whole home contracted and pulsed like it was a thing alive and in the center of it all there was a single cupcake that glistened with gold and-

What a horrible dream! The Traveler’s voice swept across her mind like the wind on a winding path. For a moment she felt like she was falling and yet she didn’t fear as the wind carried the scent of autumn. No need for this, sleep now Jester and know I am with you.

And so the color of her dreams changed, and she slipped into something safe.

____________________________

The girl behind the counter was a teenager, fresh faced and with her hair in twin braids. She had a dusting of freckles across her thin nose and smiled happily when Jester walked through the door of the little bakery in the nowhere town that they had stopped in for the night. It was bright and early the next morning, and Jester had snuck out apart from her friends in hopes of finding something that answered her prayers. The Traveler truly was with her in this endeavour.

"What can I get you this morning?"

"What do you have?"

"Would you like savory or sweet?"

"Sweet, always sweet," Jester said seriously, because sweets were no laughing matter at all.

"We have muffins, blueberry, cinnamon swirl, and cornbread. We also have cinnamon rolls, and we do have cupcakes."

"What kind of cupcakes?" Jester asked excitedly.

"We have a honey-apple cupcake, gingerbread cupcake, and a carrot cake cupcake. The carrot cake is our topseller."

"Carrot cake," Jester grumbled, feeling her nose scrunch. She knew that it was a popular flavor, but she just couldn't wrap her mind around a vegetable in a cake. But she did know from Beau's grumbles that she enjoyed carrot cake even though, as Caleb had pointed out, it was rather nerdy and old-fashioned of her. Beau had given him a solid punch in the arm at the teasing and had disagreed in the way she did where she wasn't really disagreeing but more arguing for the sake of arguing. "Alright, I'll take a dozen, but like a mixed dozen. Four of each flavor?"

"Absolutely, that'll be four silver."

Jester slid the girl six silver and smiled.

"You keep the change," Jester told her and watched as the girl's eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. The girl quickly packed up the cupcakes and tied the box with a string before handing it off to Jester. She smiled and thanked her again before heading off. Jester walked for a little bit, finding the apple tree just outside of the inn that they were saying. Carefully she set her box on the ground as she pulled out her own handkerchief and settled it amongst the roots. She carefully opened the box of cupcakes, careful not to jostle any of them. She lifted one out from the box, the honey-apple cupcake Jester assumed based off of the drizzle of honey that covered the swirl of vanilla buttercream.

“I thought we might share this,” Jester said as she crossed her legs, feeling the morning dew and the sunshine dappling her face as the trees shifted with a breeze. She lifted the cupcake to her lips and took a bite. She sighed at the flavor of the sweet floral honey infusing the cake with its buttery undertones and mellow vanilla crumble, the sharp flavor of the apple-filling that was syrupy and made decadent with brown sugar and cinnamon and the tang of lemon, and of course the melting buttercream frosting that dissipated like a vanilla cloud. Jester felt a hand touch hers, and a shoulder bump against her own.

“Thank you, Jester,” the Traveler said whispered and when Jester blinked there was a second bite taken out of her cupcake.

Jester laughed, and went to take another bite.

#critical role #critical role fanfiction #jester lavorre #5+1 fic #food descriptions galore #read with a snack

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warmbeebosoftbeebo · 6 years

Text

All I Want for Christmas is You

There's a knock at the door as you get the fire going. "Come in!" you shout, figuring it's Brendon.

"Oh ho ho, little girl," Brendon calls out like the dork he is. You turn around, breath catching as he takes off his jacket: he has no shirt on, just suspenders, Santa pants, boots, and hat. He flings a sack over his shoulder. "You've been on my so-naughty-you're-good list this year, haven't you?"

"Oh, Santa," you say dramatically, placing your hand over your heart. "I tried sooo hard to be good, but your little elf, Brendon? He's been trying for months to seduce me." You pout, then grin. "And, well, he didn't have to try that hard; turns out, I am a very naughty girl."

"Well, good thing Santa is really a bunch of different elves..." he grins.

You smile too, jumping up onto him, and he has to drop the sack to catch you as you wrap your limbs around him, hands on your ass and thighs. You kiss him, one arm sliding between you to tweak his nipple. "Are you my present then, B?"

He chuckles. "Yes, this little elf is a present, but I still brought you others. Remember that list you made, y/n?"

You nuzzle into his neck. "Course I do, but there's so many things on it, I know you didn't get me all of them. And you wanted some things to be a surprise." You had seven of one kind of item in particular based on looking online with him that you are eager to get to.

It's the 22nd, but considering the time you're able to have alone together without respective families, you two decided that tonight and the 27th would be your nights together. He wanted to wait until after Christmas to get his gifts. For sure, most of your presents are for him too, including the naughty ones, but still... You can't help but think of some of the ones you picked out for him based on his choices, how he awkwardly and nervously, almost embarrassed, told you he wanted to try them, that you were so good with your fingers you made him want more.

Fuck, you kissed him so much, touched him, thanked him for telling you, told him he was so fucking hot... and reminded him just how good you were with your hands as he looked toys up on his laptop until he let the pleasure overtake him. Teasingly asked "Wonder if that'll feel like...this?", made him buck into your slick grip, rock down on your curled gloved fingers carefully massaging, pressing, stroking or shaking light and fast, like a weak vibe, over that spot inside him.

"Maybe we should start with the G-rated gifts? Well, the ones that seem G-rated, anyway." You get off him, letting him reach for the sack as you move back to the fireplace, grabbing pillows off the couch for you both to sit on. He hands things to you with the sweetest excited little boy look on his face. As you unwrap and take things out of gift bags, you discover food like berries, whipped cream, and butterscotch liqueur sauce. Only seemingly G-rated is right; as if you two don't know what they'll be used for. Next up, scented candles: peach, vanilla and mint. The books Mysteries of Pittsburgh and A Home at the End of the World; you'd been wanting to check them out since you saw the movies. The latest seasons of Supernatural--you'd fallen behind on two of your other favourite boys--and Orange is the New Black. And Tori Amos's latest cd. Brendon took second place to her as she was an utter musical and lyrical god, and your poor baby knew it, joked about you leaving him for her to your "Sadly, she's not nearly as into pussy as you are." You wouldn't turn her down if it were possible, but come on: no one could get you turning him down.

"Entering PG-13 territory, I think..." Brendon winks, beaming, handing you another.

You grin as he bites his lip and it just makes him look sexier and cuter. You can't stop gazing at him as you're opening the box, and don't look down until he does. "We're gonna have so much fun with these, Brendon." Chocolate almond, watermelon, strawberry, pineapple-mango. You kiss him, resting your hands on his thighs, gently massaging them, sighing. "Gonna get each other all messy and tasty with these?" You lick his bottom lip, then suck on it, and he moans, hands going to your hips, pulling you closer. "As if the flavoured massage oils and lubes were the only thing you got for us to suck and lick off each other. I know what that food is for."

He flushes. "Can't decide if that makes you my good boy or my naughty one. And you say *I* am on the so-naughty list," you tease.

He kisses you, slipping his tongue in this time, and you eagerly answer, breath heavier. "Being naughty is good, B..." you murmur against those luscious lips of his, climbing astride him, and you can feel him getting harder--"naughty little elf"--after your pelvis instinctively presses to his.

You find his hair, stroking, tugging gently and he groans. You love when he's noisy, your moany whimpery gaspy babe... Shameless about being as noisy as you. You lightly scratch the nape of his neck as your other hand throws the Santa hat to the side, and cards back through his hair. You stop, finding a-- "Bow?"

"Told you I was your present too." He waggles his eyebrows, chuckling at his gooberdom.

"What a present, B, looking all pretty 'n sexy in your suspenders..." You trail your hand down his gorgeous, slim chest, stroking his soft lower belly, gathering a bit of flesh from slowing down to smoke up, relax in his Christmas sweaters, eat as much as he wants to as he should, those little strips of hair you adore. You find a nice rhythm as you grind on him seriously. "Gonna be one of my toys tonight, ain't you?"

His hands trail down your back, tenderly squeeze your ass. He nods, kissing you again, pulling away to giggle, "Too bad I don't vibrate."

"No hon, I'd rather have you in human form. Boy toy, heavy emphasis on the boy. Very human form." You wrap one arm around his back, other hand burrowing under to grab his ass, smooching him, over and over before pulling away, both of you getting drunk on it. Your gaze flickers down, remembering how they feel all over you. "Especially with your mouth, B...fuck."

He licks his lips, the fucker, and gets this...dirty look on his face. You can feel his dick jerk against you subtly as he rubs back against you, hands running up your back, to your hair, carefully pulling to expose your neck to a pair of the softest fucking lips in the world. Softest skin too... Fuck, you want both of you naked, want to rub all over him, pressed together, tongues playing, hands roaming, getting achier as you think about it, feel his mouth suck softly. “Baby boy...” you moan-sigh, both of you rocking together, needy but easy. Easy as in slow and easy as in shameless hussies. Cradle his neck, stroking and lightly scratching, sending shivers through him. He revels in pleasure, touch, everything.

His hands slide under your shirt, cupping your breasts, but you don't feel self-conscious about the fact they only fill half his hand, not even full Bs, that you don't wear a bra unless running because you don't need the support. Your nipples, clit and whole pussy are too busy getting swollen and desperate for touches and kisses and sucks to care. His tongue circling over you...god wouldn't it be crazy if he could lick and suck more than one spot...somehow had two mouths...hands working over what his two mouths couldn't. One mouth on clit, other sucking one nipple, then the other, your neck... You're gasping and panting into his mouth, tongues barely touching, teasing... Press to him more, grind faster, needing, aching for him. Grab his head and kiss him firmer, knocking off the bow, and god his hair. Close, close...

“Bet you can, huh?” You nod, not realizing for a few seconds what he's referring to, but betting the answer to his question is yes.

You roll off him, bringing him with, parting to undo your pants, kick them and your underwear off. He makes quick work of your shirt. “That's my sweet girl,” he moans, nipple in his mouth, hand going between your thighs, brushing over your bush, finding you damp there, then slick and hot between your labia. Rubbing all over, telling you to rock on his hand, palm pressing and lifting against your clit and lips.

“Fuck, wanted to wait longer, but...” He's shifting down, spreading your thighs, tilting you, opening your heat up. He kisses your thighs briefly, nuzzles his nose through your hair, your wet. His tongue flicks out, tasting. Moaning, vibrating your pussy sweetly. “Could fucking live here, y/n...” he murmurs, gazing up at you, lips grazing, tongue rubbing over your labia, your clit. "Would live n die happy..." He's sucking, tongue circling over as much as he can get. Seriously. Shit, his moans...straight to your pussy in more than one way. Your hand in his hair...fouffy and silken, and you haphazardly stroke, sometimes pressing fingertips to his scalp.

Oh, fuck...his mouth. His mouth. “Fuck, B, suck it, please, baby...” He obliges...his mouth was made for this, you think, looking at him heavy lidded as he looks...eager and blissed out. Your eyes flutter shut, hands pressing on his head, rocking subtle but fast into his mouth. His hands slide over your thighs, cup your ass to get more of your cunt, chin pressing over what his lips and tongue aren't, sucking and slurping, focused on your clit, but sometimes opening up to gather more. “Circles, please...faster...oh...fuck, Brendon, ohgodohgodohgod, please...IneedfuckB...fuckmeplease...” You're coming, gasping, contractions gripping you, even more heat washing over you, blood pounding through you from your head to your cunt, legs trembling, tensing, belly heaving... He's kissing up your tummy, hand stroking over your still throbbing, aroused snatch, skips to your lips. You lick over his plush lips and tongue, his wet chin too, between kisses. “Mmmm...”

“Didn't tucker you out already?” he asks gently, knowing he didn't.

“Mmm...naw...” You stroke over his back, his ass. “Not my fault I got no blood in my brain... Lie down with me...” You keep kissing him though, stroking his hips, his dick and balls through the pants, realizing he must have satin panties on underneath, until he's panting and swearing into your mouth. You bet he's dampening those panties too.

If you weren't set on teasing him, you'd strip him, stroke over his bare skin, pubes, his silky pink eager dick and balls, kiss over his hips, suck and tongue and jack. Pussy and mouth both getting wetter at what you're doing, what you want to do... You love touching him, making him feel good, regardless of how long he lasts, how hard he is or isn't, whether he can still take stimulation on his dick because he loves being touched, loved, rubbed on, kissed, sucked. Loves fucking every which way, always making love... Fuck, everything was. “Think I should be a tease?” You love being his tease, but...fuck. You can totally go down on him, stroke him bare, and tease him.

“Still wanna lie down?” You nod, and he strokes your thighs, belly, breasts as you shift, cradles your head as you flop down.

You make grabby hands. “Want you on top of me.” You don't say the naked, but he knows you well, and the one worded question is greeted by your “Gimme my naked elf boy” as you tug his pants to his thighs, both giggling, and he gets everything off.

He puts the hat back on, and you're still giggling when you wrap your limbs around him. “My very own Brendon in a Santa hat...”

Rubbing your skin over his, everywhere you can, welcoming his weight, heat, firmness, softness... You use that moisturizer Jeremy got him into sometimes, but he does often...his skin is soft naturally, and it makes it baby soft...the softest skin you've felt on anyone. Your sweet soft baby.

Smooching over each other's faces, wriggling and touching, massaging casually. His hands in your hair, stroking...his dick rocking over your lips, clit, arousal spreading and building through you both. Silky and hard and wet from the both of you. Fuck, his dick. The moans he makes when his frenulum carefully presses your clit, both of you getting electric jolts that manage to soothe based on the pleasure on his face, his movements, noises...Fuck his dick like you are now. You think you started that, think you were moving against him everywhere including there since he covered you.

Your hands settle on his ass, small of his back, rub and squeeze over him, gently feeling those dimples, watching the pleasure on his face. He's always been on the curvy side for a boy with his frame, even having those dimples that mostly women have. Cup those round cheeks, fingers brushing between them, his gasping, fluttering lashes, rocking a bit faster, letting you know how pleasurable that simple touch is. “Applebottom,” you sigh, feeling his butt move with his movements over you, not realizing you said it aloud until he giggles.

“I got it from my mama, what can I say?” He kisses over your neck. “Should we stay like this, or move...lay out some sheets, get the oils?”

You think of him oiling you up, hands stroking until you're melting, relaxed but throbbing and so wet it's on your outer lips, hair, thighs and ass and the sheets...and his hands. “Fuck, the oils,” you sigh, reluctantly letting him go.

He wiggles his booty as he turns and you give him a swat, a stroke. “Think I'll ride that ass later...” You roll onto your side, open hand stroking over your mound and outer labia, missing his dick, his hips spreading your thighs, his warm skin, thinking.

Both of you covered in flavoured oil, him laying on you, rubbing...skin on skin, dick to cunt, his thigh between yours for you to grind on, his dick between your thighs, between your asscheeks. He lays down a couple matts, the plastic sheets. He's so beautiful: all that sensitive skin, the muscles shifting in his back, arms, legs, on his hands and knees, not realizing how it looks at first but it hits him with giggles. He turns his head and winks, pops his booty out, spreads, sways his hips, balls and asshole in view too. So comfortable naked generally, but eagerly adding in that vulnerability with you. Fuck, you can't help thinking of lapping over those delicate dangling balls, his perineum, that tender puckered skin, stroking and kissing his cheeks too, as he gasps and moans, your hands soothing his trembling thighs, head landing on a pillow to expose more to your mouth and hands.

He was often a tease with his past lovers with his ass and everything else, even tempting men with it, usually never letting more than a finger inside if anything, rarely two if slim, gentle and skilled, maybe a cautious insistent tongue if they got him to let go. Wanting, trusting a couple to rub between his cheeks without pushing inside, more inclined to letting them hump against his bum, or between his thighs, or dick to dick while they grabbed and rubbed it. One telling him how slow he'd be, how good he could make it for him. Brendon balking at something that big. Part of him wanting to try the other way sometimes but not wanting to ask for what he couldn't give, even if they offered. Besides, if just two fingers often hurt him, it probably wouldn't be easy for others... and with women, they didn't even have a prostate as incentive and pay off. You're glad other guys were safe enough to do that with for him, happy that no one pushed inside anyway.

You wish you got to see your gorgeous boy with someone else like he is with you, like he fucks with you, all that easy freedom, whether it included entry or not. You've had threesomes before, but he's not as free with men especially as with you, even now. He was and is even freer with women, calling women grinding on his ass riding the Bden Caboose even in his late teens (bless those two girl friends of his who invited him into their sex), eagerly rolling over for their pressing mounds, open pussies, stroking hands, probing fingers, tilting into it. Spanks, massages, grabs, nibbles, kisses, grinds, humps... Offering to touch, lick, finger open, massage, hump, everything to men and women back, but sometimes that was misread. (He still remembered what Audrey thought of his awkward, gooberish words, shy but excited touches, but he couldn't blame her considering what other guys who brought it up were after.) With you though, he's a... fucking nymph... God, you bet he hasn't done that, opening exposed and everything, lube nearby to remind him what could happen, and you know you're the first he’s wanted toys inside with... How does he even make you want to put your tongue there, lapping, massaging, circling...lost in him, too lusty and needy to worry about using a barrier? (Knowing you really should use one.) But, fuck, you do.

You've been rubbing your clit and upper lips for a while now, achy and full and wetter. Pressing him down on his belly and humping his butt silly as he thrusts slickly over a plastic covered or satin pillow. Maybe humping him on his hands and knees first or instead, grabbing his hips, petting his thighs and belly, gently squeezing his balls, rubbing his scrotum, stroking over his cock in counterpoint to your thrusts. Fuck, you're coming. Coming as he watches, panting, biting his lip, stroking slowly over his own cock. Rolling and sliding over each other, rubbing on each others backs, asses, breasts, bellies and fucking everywhere. Sucking each other, one on their back as the other is between their legs, and both at a time, maybe taking turns on top, on your sides. You both getting lost in the connection of mouths to genitals, that constant erotic current flowing into, through, and out of you back into him. Fingers sliding inside each other, gently spreading, rocking, searching. Him holding one of those new vibes, slipping, rocking, circling it over and in you as you command, moving into it, him kissing and rubbing on you. Feeding him your cunt as you straddle his face. Oh, fuck, another. This one grips hard, almost hurts, but you can't stop. Him straddling your breasts, feeding you his cock, his or your hand wrapped around what your mouth can't comfortably take. Fuck, you want him so much, need him...

"B... need you..."

You'll never get too much of him. You want to fuck for hours, love knowing he does too. Thinking of the fact that you get two, three, even four or more hour sessions with him as you glide over your clit and he kisses you, both moaning and panting, stroking your hair, calling you his bestest girl, the sexiest, one hand caressing over your thigh, hip, sucking your neck, hand slipping under you to stroke the small of your back, sets you off for the forth time that night. You stopped feeling guilty about your craving with him a while ago. One, no two, of the most sensuous, sexual, needy creatures on the planet. The most uninhibited, open either of you has ever been with someone, and that was saying a lot for both of you. You both had had great lovers of both sexes, great sex. But this was...fuck, it was something wondrous, often new, needing skin, mouths, genitals, drenched in want, need, love. Having him let you realize the rest of those subtle and not so subtle ways you were inhibited with men, that sex with a man could be as varied, open, boundless, ungoverned yet safe, as anything and everything as sex with women...

“Fuck, B... god... maybe I should put those panties on to keep things slowed down for a bit...” Your clit is oversensitive, hurting too much, but give you ten, even five minutes...

“Need a break, huh? I've got a matching pair for ya. You can tell me to take em off, or do it yourself when you want my hands there too. I'll put mine on too...” Goddamn, his ass, his cock and sac, hips, v-lines, in those panties... He slides another red pair up your legs and you lift, loving that he cops a careful feel after you smile your agreement of your mound and outer lips down to your ass first, pats your ass when they're on.

“Bet you can feel how wet I am through them already, B...” You brush your hand over them, then guide his. You look up at him, blissed out, sitting up, stroking over his hips, thighs bracketing his legs, delighting in that touch too, wriggling up and down them. “Peekaboo,” you sing, pulling his panties down, shifting his dick so the tip pops out, giving a few extra strokes, feeling his pulse, loving how warm he feels. He gazes back, eyes sparkling, grin filling those cheeks out even more. “Look at that... wanna smooch.” So you do, soft, then stroke your lips over it, tongue following over that hard but smooshy tip. Fuck, you'll suck him a little, you think. His hands stroke through your hair and you can't help grinding lightly against the couch, getting him wet with your sucking mouth, tongue, until he spurts precum, and you lick it up, take the second spurt. Rub your hand over his length and scrotum through the panties.

A gorgeous, pettable, smoochable, suckable... cock and balls on a lovely, gorgeous, pettable, and everything else boy. Because they're his and actually pretty and cute as far as male genitals go, absolutely silken—he totally uses the moisturizer there too, the minx—especially his dick. You pull his panties down more. God, such a good fit places: hand, mouth, between your labia and over your clit, tip to clit, the small of your back, between your asscheeks, thighs, inside your vagina. Him rocking in and/or you engulfing him, the rare times you crave and want him like that too, past begging for it into needing and truly being ready for it. Bless those girls who came before you and his own anxiety, his being eager to do what they wanted but wanting to make sure, both making him wait to make sure they meant it, him wanting to see what would happen if he didn't "get to it," that "fuck me" usually didn't actually mean what most men thought it meant, both at all and the way they thought of it. They also surprised that he...didn't, discovering they were glad he didn't rush into it, that it was a later part of things, or not even part of it. Beyond wet and swollen, feeling sloppy, almost fucked out after coming and coming, after his fingers, even a toy. So wet it's all over his dick, balls, pubes, thighs, pelvis, wherever else you've rubbed on, whether or not you cover him that way too. Him being smaller than average...fucking perfect.

“Fuck...this is your night, darlin...”

“Yes, it is,” you look up, kiss his belly, rub his back, ass, thighs, making squish noises. “My night with my good boy...my sweetest boy...” Every time with him was yours.

You still usually came several times even on “his” nights, still had him moaning around a mouthful of pussy, still had him eager for your hot juicy pussy all over him, touching, rubbing, kissing you how you liked it. His nights were sometimes him being needier, pleading, but docile. Beyond what he usually was, like he needed... lots and lots of caretaking, guidance and praise. At times even asking for, wanting you to hurt and dominate him, but you'd never be cruel to your baby, always tried to ease him out of that with loving words, gentle touch, kisses, showing him how good he made you feel, telling him that you would never humiliate or degrade your sweet soft boy. Even if you spanked him, pulled his hair with some oomph, slapped his cock, bit a little hard, got him on his knees, rode his face, told him not to come, rubbed on any part of him you pleased, gave commands but tenderly, letting him know he didn't have to, that you only wanted it if he wanted to, scratched or sucked hard enough to leave little marks for a bit... it would only be because he liked it, wanted it because it felt good, it was another way of loving him, of making him feel good... “Only if it feels good, Brendon, only if you know you're a good, lovely boy. Never want to hurt my wonderful boy...”

Other times, he'd let the assertiveness, confidence that you encouraged in him, take hold, or at least tried to feel it, both to differing degrees. Both concerned about it, wanting it to be real, not faked, but never wanting him to even seem dominant or any other negative aspect of masculinity. You were a lot more okay with getting into his enjoyment of... pain, sharp sensations, slaps, heat and cold, being bossed around then, when he was assertive back. Asked for it because he wanted it, liked it, knew he was worthy of things he enjoyed. The only other consistent differences were him being more active: moving a bit more into your mouth, hand, between your breasts, firmer over your pussy, guiding you with still considerate word and touch, asking often for a finger or two inside, desperate and assertive yet careful, chasing his pleasure.

He was usually so you-oriented, your pleasure and orgasms so arousing to him, him getting off was important and needed too, but quite down on the list, and these times it still wasn't first, but it was second. Often less teasing, playing with him before trying to get him off, unless he wanted edging. More of you seriously trying to make him come, seeing if you could encourage him into a second, a third, especially when mostly prostate stimulation. Keeping up with pleasuring him when he could barely move, lax but trembling, full of pleasure, moaning and whimpering, as long as you were on the right side of too much. Still playing with his thighs, hips, nipples, belly, lips, butt, when touching his penis or inside got to be too much.

It was usually both your sessions by design and how they developed. Switching back and forth. Lots of balance without switching. Just being yourselves. He definitely leaned towards what people would call submissive, often yielding and pliable solely in good ways, but also even what you thought was submissive, sometimes too much, both glad he could share that with you and worried for him about it, how people could take advantage. Knowing that was why he held back with men especially. He would often be able to slip back into his usual easy going, funny, eager to please puppy mode after he came the first time on his nights, or you were super smooshy with him. Your gentleness alone helped build him back up those “subby” times, or made him switch over those “toppy” ones. He could only be rather assertive, firm, if you were at least as much as he, and often wouldn't or couldn't even then. His “topiness” was fundamentally sideways.

You were glad of it, more and more, once you became lovers, exploring together, letting yourselves go. There were other guys like him, but they were all too rare, and the degree he was the way he was... it was a first for you. He had avoided, rejected, or gotten rid of what generally lurked within men to varying degrees due to his temperament, his bond with his mom, various ways he was gender nonconforming, the decisions he made in his life about how to treat people, him realizing he could compartmentalize people and how they are treated, being with you...

There were also lots of times when you rolled around, or lazed about, snuggling, making out, rubbing on each other, caressing, licking, kissing, anything and everything that sweetly pleasured, like gentle waves under a warm sun, neither of you getting around to coming. And other times just you once to three times (three times was a low number for you with your boy given the hours you tended to spend), rarely only him coming once, or both of you having those limited orgasms. Sometimes coming, sometimes not when your bits got wet, achy and swollen with need.

That's how you're petting him, kissing him, belly to dick to thighs, one hand often on his ass, between his cheeks, balls too, panties mid-thigh. Remembering and feeling that melty thick arousal, sometimes rubbing on the couch, as he’s half hard. It's been three days since you've been together, and he pants between groans that he hasn't come since as you lick the skin beyond his pubic hair.

You stroke his perineum, palm his balls, other hand focused on sliding the foreskin and tip wetly over each other. Kiss his pelvis, lips sucking and rubbing over his length, delighting in his flushed chest and stomach.

“Oh fuck...y/n...” You can feel him get firmer, pulse, contract, spurt. Not a big one considering the three days, a slow but surprising one. You catch the end with your mouth after it lands on his thighs, pubes, dick and your shoulder, hand, cheek, you bet your hair too... Your noisy shaky baby boy... “Jesus Christ. Jesus,” he pants, as you kiss him more, lick up and rub the saltiness, sweat and skin and semen mixed, into his skin.

“Babe, fuck...c'mere...” His hands shift from your hair to shoulders, and you stand up too as he sways, light headed, still shaking. He kisses you, lapping it from your mouth, moves to your shoulder, breast, getting as much as he can. You stroke over him, pulling his panties up, squeezing his ass, finding his thigh, rocking a bit.

You kiss over your lovely boy's face, cradle him in your arms, and he leans into it. His head moving to your shoulder, body slumped, both of you holding him up, as you kiss over his hair, stroking his back. “Wish I could carry my baby over... Or I can piggyback you.”

“We can do it, y/n,” he says with a thick Hawaiian accent, giggles, turning, still leaning, pulling you to him. “That's fucking teamwork!”

“I swear to fuck, if you keep singing Fuck Her Gently...” You kiss him.

“Oh, how 'bout...” He launches into diva level high notes with “All I want for Christmas is youuuu.”

“Fabulous, darling...” He can sing not just higher than you, but you swear he matches Mariah when he pushes himself. “Another reason people think we're a fag hag and her fag.” You grin as you say it, glad he embraces that fact, holding his hands to bring him too as you sit down on the mat. Noisy plastic sheet. “You pick the oil...” you sigh, spreading out comfortably, grabbing a pillow for your head, eyes closing. Mmmm, mango-pineapple.

When he first touches you, your heart picks up, cunt pulse too, remembering everything you thought earlier. How is he so sexy?

“Hopefully it's warm enough for my fag hag,” he jokes.

“Mmmhmm...Tickles...in a good way...” Wrigging your butt and thighs to provide some stimulation on your vulva. Kisses follow his hands. Your neck, shoulders, collarbone, breasts. Fingertips, then sucking mouth, on your nipples. Thinking about doing the same to him next time, how responsive he is, lapping his small hard nipples, teasing over him until he's shivering, gasping... Everything feels so nice... More oil for your stomach, hips, sides, pelvis, his thumbs stroking, palms pressing as he calls you his good girl, so sweet for him... You're just as sweet as he is, you want to say, but just gasp, buzzing all over, as he kisses over your tummy, hands still working your hips. Whole pussy throbbing, aching but melting, and you don't need to come soon.

He circles around your mound, the outline of your panties with his oiled hands, upper thighs, hips, and your legs, through your haze, spread. “'M so ready, honey.” And finally. “Thank god, B...” you sigh as he rubs more oil over your mound through the silk, outer lips, your slick mixing with it.

“That's my girl...” And he starts singing All I Want for Christmas is You again, from the start, soft enough to soothe more. Rocking his open palm all over your pussy... He's your boy.

You tummy growls. “Feed me?” you giggle. “But alas, food, not your cock.”

“I would never!” he says dramatically, and you open one eye to see him looking scandalized. He kisses your lips, still touching your pussy, other hand stroking over thighs, hip, belly as you watch, eyes closing when he leaves. Strawberries with whipped cream meet your lips. He kisses your neck, breasts, tummy as you chew, feeding you more. Blueberries and raspberries too. “Can I...?” he trails off, sliding your panties to the side, stroking between the lips. You “mmmhmmm,” eyes opening when you hear him suck on a strawberry; warming it up, you realize. He moves them to the side again, brushing the berry over your outer labia. You spread more, legs in a diamond shape, and he slips into your heat. Sliding up and down a few times before finding your clit, circling, back down, back up, circling for longer, back down.

“Sweet baby Jesus...”

“Know your sweet, darlin...” He moves it away, and your eyes open again when you hear him sucking on it. “If anything, you're sweeter than this. Wanna taste?” He dips back over you. You do, and you gaze in each other's eyes as you suck softly, nibble, getting the juices. Circling a raspberry over your clit slowly before bringing it to your mouth. You are sweeter than them. He trails down your body as he gets a blueberry, slides it inside. Another, resting between your lips. Berries and cream in a bowl for you to munch on, sliding a raspberry in your mouth for your tongue to press into. He gets between your thighs, pulling the fabric aside again, tongue rolling the one between your labia, up, back down, then eating it as he eats you. Other hand entwining with yours and his lashes flutter open, gazing up at you as he kisses over what he can get too.

You stop eating to play with his hair and he hums, moaning softly into it, lips vibrating yours. You wriggle a little. “Fuck... you can take them off,” you sigh.

“That's my girl,” he murmurs, kissing over your mound before shifting to ease them down as you lift. He bites his lip, eyes heavy as he...oh god, brings the crotch of them to his mouth, sucking. You rub over your mound, upper lips, clit as you watch each other. He winks, tosses them aside, grins as he spreads you more, kisses over your thighs, hips, pelvis, wrist, hand, licks over your fingers, and you hold one out for him to slowly, firmly suck... “Fuck,” you sigh, palming yourself, the shivers going through you to your pussy as you moan out “fuck, Brendon..."

He slides off and you spread yourself, popping out your clit. He barely presses his tongue tip against it, and you wonder if he can feel the blood pulsing there, how swollen it is, because you sure can. He laps gently over, using lots of wetness, a few times, then switches to back n forth, and you take his hand again, squeezing, other in his hair, rotating your hips. “Circles, baby...fast n soft...” and he does... You like circles the best usually, with anything, tongue, finger, the tip of his dick...when you grind on him... “My sweet baby, my sweet boy,” you moan. “Oh god, B, don't stopdon'tstopfuckIneedI'mgonna—oh god fuck me like that, faster, fuckmeohfuuuuck...fuckfuck...” He switches to your labia as your contractions subside, letting you come down some, still trembling and panting. He doesn't even give you a minute before he's sucking over you firmer, moving till he gathers up your clit, lips sealed, sucking and sucking, rhythmically, quickly, and not too hard. Cupping your ass, kneading it as you rock into it for more, back when you need it gentler. Head, womb, pussy, everything throbbing as you burst again. “Oh, god, B...cmere...”

He moves over you, fingertips swirling circles over pussy before you wrap around him, pressing as much of him, including his half hard dick, to you as you can, wriggling, rocking, loving his weight on you. You pull his panties down his ass, and he eagerly takes the hint. Kissing him long and a lot, sharing your taste, the flavored lube. Faintly tasting the fruit, even him. Doing a drum roll on his bum, with sound effects, as you both giggle, then stroke, then squeeze. “My bestest squishie...” Kiss over his jaw, cheek, nose. “With the cutest nosie,” you sigh...fuck you love his skin on yours, feeling both your laughter, your breaths. Your soft, muscled, warm squishball cutie pie.

“My bestest, favouritest squishie,” he answers, lifting you both up for you to straddle and wrap around him and it's too soon--“Too dizzy, babe”--so he places you back down, grinning as he launches into a different song. Tenacious D again, but an even better one: Double Team. Kissing your neck, shoulder, rocking his underside along your snatch, making sure you're pressed together, the oil letting you slip along each other some easily. Both giggling a lot. B sometimes follows the action of the song, and you join in too.

“Really flowing, B,” you giggle. “Feel how wet I am?” you whisper, rocking back faster. Stroke his back, his ass, suck and kiss over his neck as you dip between his cheeks, rubbing softly. “Where's the incense? We can settle for candles.” Passably beat boxing a disco beat until you both fall into giggles.

“I'm not gonna rip my jeans, I'm gonna cream them.”

You chuckle at the mention of that I Ripped My Jeans song. “Ridiculous. No, ridiculously hot...seeing my horny boy come in his pants... Sex.”

“Have you ever been worked on/By two guys who are hot for your snatch?”

“Sex...And yes, many a time...” Mostly with him, and only with him since you got serious.

He tickles your scalp, neck with the lines about the feather and french tickler. You squeeze him to you tighter. “No toe sucking, you ain't getting offa me.” The next lines have you giggling harder. And you keep him from finishing the song with your laughter, repeating “splooge” over and over in different accents, tones, volumes, then suddenly switching to “Hail Satan!”

“The question is, who's Satan?”

“Me. But you're my second in command; I rule hell, with you as my beloved consort. My beloved boy...”

If your boobs were bigger, they'd be getting smooshed, you wouldn't be able to press quite as close, squeeze him to you so much, or it'd hurt; instead they fit along him so well. Your chubbier lower belly, hips, thighs give him some cushioning. You don't feel weirdly proportioned when you're having sex with him anymore, or when you're leaning together, hugging, lazing on the couch.

He's nuzzling over your neck when he chuckles. “I think I forgot something...”

“What?”

“Guess you can't feel it, huh?”

“Oh, the blueberry!” You clench and then you can feel it. You're tight, but not that tight. And your vaginal walls ain't your clit or labia. He faces you on his side, and you push down as a finger slides in, looking for your ok before adding a second, easing it in. You're so wet, puffy and relaxed it's easy going, letting him scoop it out easier. You like to think you're giving him a vagina hug when you squeeze him.

“You know I'll still eat it,” he winks, and pops it in, sliding a different finger in for more hugs.

You turn into him, wrapping him back up, sharing the taste. “Can't decide if I wanna keep you smooshed to me or if we should get to the toys...”

“Let's do both then, hmm?”

He moves away, swaying his hips as he goes, then fucking pops his ass up in the air again as he grabs the bag, making you giggle and flex your vulva muscles. “Which one first, darlin?” he murmurs, spreading the four toys out. A double bullet, a rotating rabbit, a simple slim squishy one, a handsfree butterfly...

The double bullets are different sizes: a slim longer one, barely thicker than a finger, and a egg shaped one, which you've not done together before, but the latter is still familiar so you go with that.

“Want to do the honours?” he asks after opening it and putting the batteries in. You nod, reaching out.

You turn it about half way, not wanting to shock your pussy. He holds the bullets in his open palm and you both giggle as they knock together. You know you want the fat one on your upper labia and clit, but aren't sure about the slim one... You get on your knees and give B smoochies before dribbling some lube onto them and his palm. “Rub me, B...” you invite, spreading out on your back, wriggling your hips.

He grins. “Think I'll do... this...” he answers, whole hand cupping, stroking over as much of your mound and vulva as he can get to, other hand holding the bullets by the cords, moving over your thighs, lower belly, mound, the creases where thigh meets groin. “Fuck, love the feel of your pussy,” he sighs absently, and you rub up against him, grinning and mmming. And she loves the feel of you, B, you think.

He finally shifts, holding your labia, almost squishing them, as he runs the bullets over them, until you're wriggling, spreading your legs, and they dip between them, finally focusing on your clit, knocking together. “Lucky fuckers,” he winks.

“Don't be jealous, Bren,” you tease back. “Wouldn't leave my bestest boy for a toy or two...”

“What about five of them?” he jokes.

You shake your head, “nuhuh. Never”ing. “Well, I'd take em as long as I still get you too...”

He slides fingertips over your cleft after gliding the egg sized bullet over you, gathering your wet to graze over your clit, asking “Do you know how wet you feel?”

Thanks to him. You nod, closing your legs some and wriggling. Hand reaching out for his, guiding it how it feels best, circles over your clit, and he catches on, leaving you free to stroke over his arms, chest, pull him closer. Fuck, you love kissing him... Rubbing over his back, all that soft skin. Closer still, getting his warmth on you. Hips swivelling subtly, gasping out faster or softer or like that... His lips on your neck, your hands in his hair, as you come, swearing, freezing up, panting... He knows you need it subtle again after you come, lightly gliding over your lips, massaging circles... Your hand feels blindly, finds the other cord, slides the slim one inside, and you can feel it shaking through your whole pussy now, subtler inside. His thumb circles gently over your clit as you slide the egg over your lower labia, letting sensation recenter... build in your glans as those bulbs underneath fucking ache for it deliciously, desperately. You start rocking into it as he circles faster, tilt just right, tensing, and you're coming again. “Motherfucker!”

“Potty mouth,” he scolds kindly. He's one to talk, you think, giving him a funny look. He slides the egg between your labia, around the rim, touching the two vibes. You turn it down and guide it back up, pressing softly into the left side. His hand stroking over your mound, pussy, thighs, hips, as he kisses over your breasts, warm softly sucking mouth and tongue on your nipples. “Rub all over...my pussy,” you gasp, and his palm covers you, circling, and you're coming again. You move the egg away, grind along him lightly, still swearing. “Inside...”

“One finger, y/n?”

“Mmmhmm...leave the vibe in...” You want him to feel it and you all around him. He easily slides inside your soaked, snug, full, welcoming pussy. Your whole pussy loves welcoming him home. The thought makes you smile. He comes home a lot. The porch, the doorway, the living room, the kitchen... Too busy needily moaning and begging to laugh. Not quite enough to come, but it feels too good to want to rush coming, or change his palm and finger and your pussy rocking together. You keep rolling, needing, needing, grabbing his shoulders, hair, blindly, face screwed up. “I need, Bren, please fuck me, I need, please, I--fuck--need, let me come, please let me come...”

“What does my baby need? My...mouth?...Another finger? Vibe?”

You grab his hand, press it to you, grind firmer, thighs squeezed around it, quickly crying out in frustration, pulling his palm away, grasping his thumb, circling the pad over your clit, light and quick as you rock back and forth.

“That's it, huh?” he murmurs as you pant, feeling your contractions, feeling your whole pussy pulse, flex, for him. Keeping up, and you're not stopping... not stopping... Your whole pussy, whole clitoris, throbbing for him, the contractions not stopping. Not a continual orgasm, but pretty close, unable to still, calling out for him with mouth and cunt, peaking another two times before you need a minute. Still crying out, but for him to soothe, gentle that needy, swollen mess of pleasure.

His thumb stroking over your labia, kissing you, over and over, free hand stroking your hair, massaging your scalp, your own hands running down and up his back and ass... pulling him to you, getting his thigh between yours, rocking nice and easy on him, welcoming his weight. Sweat, warmth, skin... Feeling sleepy, but he can totally coax you into more orgasms in a couple minutes, you bet.

“My sweet girl, my sexy, delicious, horny girl,” he whispers, kissing over your face, neck, half hard dick and balls warm and soft rubbing over your pelvis, mound. “Sleepy?” he teases.

“Eh, think I can keep goin' if you do most of the work,” you smile.

His thigh slides away and you pout but his hand finds you again, thumb stroking between your lips as his palm rests on your thigh and outer labia. Getting you even wetter before his finger slides in, pushing up and tapping the slow vibing bullet, pressing into your front wall, making your bladder feel full, a great way to make you crave more orgasms, dammit. Thumbing over your clit, then palming, then thumb, then palm, back to thumb and finally sticking with it as you grind, lazy and wanting.

“Oh, fuck, B...fuck...” Building, turning the vibe a bit higher, and he starts thrusting more than rocking and you moan out your “fuck yes” when he asks if you want another finger. Careful again, but fast, sliding in and out, rocking, curling his fingers to massage, according to your movements and instructions. So close... but you're getting kind of sore already. His other hand is sideways over your mound, thumb circling over your clit, and you're desperate again, shaking, bearing down, pushing, and you're coming, coming and peeing a little bit, and it's a nice, soothing orgasm, that doesn't satiate but is...lovely, still wanting. But... “Ouch, B...”

And he's sliding his fingers out slowly, rubbing over your mound, immediately apologizing, “Sorry, darlin, want the vibe out too? Just outside again?”

Seeing him suck your slick off the bullet turns you on even more as he raises his eyebrows, then grins cheekily.

“Kiss it better?” you ask slyly, waggling your eyebrows.

“Thought I was the cheeseball,” he giggles, wriggling down already. Making “mwah” sounds as he smooches over your mound, outer lips, inner, adding in some tender licks and sucks as he moves over your clit, still sore opening, then whole inner pussy, sometimes moaning soft into you. Your hands in his hair, stroking, lightly scratching. His wet hands massaging your hips and thighs. “My sweet girl...” Oh god, you had forgotten you...well...but whatever taste there was of that must be already licked away, so you let yourself relax back into his mouth, answering that he's your sweet boy. You didn't think you'd want to again yet, but you do...maybe you want another strong one, tilting your clit onto his tongue, trembling, tensing as he sweeps over it, circles, mouth sealed over you, sucking easy but rhythmically, and—“Oh god, ohfuckohfuckfuckme....yeah, like that....fuck.”

You slow, tugging his hair, and he goes lighter, but you want... so much squish... like... fuck, why can't he get his mouth and dick on your vulva at the same damn time? “B...the slim squishy one...where's the little fucker?”

“Which slim squishy little guy?”

“Not my fave one, the other one. You're slim but still more than an inch...” He rolls away, having to look a moment before finding the bag. He quickly opens it, finds the batteries, and you gather some of your slick as you pop open the lube, mixing them, sliding down his semi, cupping his package, getting it even slicker. Your favorite little guy, part of your even favoriter little guy.

You have an idea.

You keep stroking him lightly, flinging your legs open, tilting up. "Gonna slide it in?" you tease, so glad he likes teases. He slides the purple, rippled, and most importantly squishy and slim vibe in. He turns the base slowly until you sigh “that's good.” You squeeze down and relax repeatedly, fast at first, then slower. It's actually squishy. You switch between his hips, thighs, pelvis, dick and balls, petting blindly after your eyes close. He kisses soft over your face, neck, chest, sometimes rocking the toy, nudging your cervix, sometimes slipping it in and out, slow and easy, then stilling, sometimes slipping it out, length between your labia, up and down or all over, same with the tip over your clit, sliding it back in before you get too close to coming. Two can play at that, you think, petting over his belly, breasts, lips, back down, sometimes stroking over his back and bum, between his cheeks, only occasionally going to his dick. Once you feel yourself slip into relaxation, then into a still soothed building arousal, one hand leaves him to find your clit, circling, other hand loosely wrapping around him as he rocks a bit into your grip. Loose and teasy so he doesn't get too hard. "Hey B...gonna let me use yours too?" He's not much more than half hard, and fuck you want it rubbing over you.

He grins against your neck, up for whatever you have in mind, and you wrap him in your arms to bring him close, and you love that he knows you want his dick in all sorts of states. If anything, a semi feels even better. "Where should I go?" "Let's try...on top of me...wanna slide you all over me." You stroke over his balls as he settles over you, letting his tip brush over your mound as you kiss him, then hold him so you can run his silky soft but firm tip over your lips, down to where the vibe is sticking out, back up, rocking against him already.

"Can you feel it? The vibrations?"

"Can feel you more, y/n, fuck...so wet...puffy too."

You slide him over the middle lightly, getting more wetness over him, jerking him as you press him to your clit, hoping his head can feel you all over as you slide him up and down, then in a circle around your pussy.

"Know you like it too..." Your free hand finds the bullets, wrangles with the cords till you've got the controller, turns them back on, but low. You slide the slim one between you, getting it all wet again before rubbing it between his tip and your clit. He gasp-moans so dirty, arms shaking from it and holding himself up once you turn it higher, press firmer on him. Fuck you love watching his face, so fucking gorgeous. And people thought his o-faces on stage were as good as he could look, all debauched, blissful, happy, flushed... This is even better. And his noises, trembling, feeling his pulse and heat and silken skin and fuck... If you got his frenulum just right and held it, he wouldn't be able to hold himself up, would come, you bet. Before this, you'd used your only vibrator together, a single bullet vibe. He is such a curious, horny boy you quickly learned he liked it too, if he was wet enough and you teased his head, especially the underside, with a firmer pressure than you usually needed. Also on his balls, perineum, the first inch or so below his tip. Fuck, you don't know whether you want him to come really soon, or get you off with the toys and his dick a couple times first. You circle the bullet and his tip over you quicker, still rhythmic. “Oh, god, B, fuck...” You roll you both over onto your sides, leg over his hip, rocking along him too, wanting to bear down, tensing, but...not quite. The toy is squishy, but it's been in a little too long, and it's getting in the way: you want to feel your boy more and you think it'd be better if you could squeeze down more... “Take—oh fuck—take—please? Like...I can't...”

“Shh, got you, y/n...” he whispers, shifting to reach between you. “Done with this one?” You nod, and he's easing it out of you. You are desperate at the break in stimulation, break from him on you, forehead finding his neck, bringing him closer, clenching down, needing, rolling on top of him, pining him, grinding on him messily, dimly aware the bullet is between your bellies—the feeling makes you chuckle, getting upright, dizzy, the shift pressing his balls and base to your lower vulva, to those aching bulbs, the ridge of his head just brushing your clit and you grind, and grind, and fuck—“Oh, please, oh fuck, oh fuck...” turning to wordless cries as you come, everything pounding and bursting. Oh god, more pee. But you need. You lean forward, press to him, kiss his lips, jaw, neck, back to those luscious lips, hands in his hair... His arms wrap around you, then stroke over your back and ass, then find your hair, muffling your moans with his kisses. You need to stay close, close... You rock faster, firmer, pressing hard into him, the fact he's hard, not rock hard, but...deliciously hard, doing the rest, you both giving you all that pressure you need over your whole aching, convulsing pussy. You're still moving against him as you come down from another orgasm, slow, needy, but fuck. You can't... Achy, still calling out for him, but... fuck. Everything so wet between you. You flush even more, wonder if he knows you're still embarrassed by it, especially given the whimpering he's doing, rocking gently into you, trying not to, both of you pulsing.

“Fuck, babe, so fucking...fuck.” Voice thick, cutting of into a whimper-moan. Your sexy boy. You nuzzle over his neck, suck, making him gasp, and you grind into him.

Your baby did such a good job holding on for you, letting you use his dick, trying not to come... “Jesus, B...fuck...my sweet boy gonna come for me?” He doesn't rock harder or faster, but you tug his hair, suck a bit harder on his neck, rock over his dick and balls firmly, and he moans so much, desperate, throbbing, then spurting over both your pelvises and lower bellies.

You'll both need a shower. Multiple fluids messing up you two and the sheets. Thank fuck for plastic sheets. You keep rubbing along him as he softens, hoping it's not too much. It is. “Christ...could...gonna rub on my thigh?”

He pets over your pussy, outer lips, and you get distracted asking him to massage with his thumb gently over your achy parts. Spoiler: that's pretty much your whole snatch. He swaps it out for his thigh and that lets you squish him more, kissing over his sweaty angel boy face. You roll over, him on top, getting the vibe from under you to turn it off, then wrap around him. You gasp, feeling a little shame even now, as he licks his hand off.

“Don't be embarrassed, y/n... It's ok, more than ok...” You believe him, know that he's not grossed out. But it's not supposed to be that, if something like that happens—oh fuck it. And fuck his thigh.

You probably won't be trying to come for a while, might not come again... we'll say until after you get a proper meal in you, but... even if your pussy goes “nope, and hell nope” to more orgasms, she sure ain't saying no to B's thighs. Or anywhere else she can rub softly on.

“Shower, Bren?”

He nods. “As long as someone keeps humping me...”

"Who is this someone? Another elf?”

“Didn't know you wanted Jake to join us,” he giggles as you both get up, shaky.

“Both Jakes?” you say eagerly, smooching him.

“One for each of us, or are we sharing all around?” he asks. Both of you glad your apartment is an apartment: no stairs.

“All around...” The elder Jake wouldn't actually since Kate, but the younger...

You caress over his front, smooching his shoulders and neck, as he turns the shower on and he spins around, kissing and enwrapping you. You grabs his hips, backing him into the sink, rocking on his thigh, and his eyes flicker shut. Fuck... One hand moving to his ass... “Gonna turn around for me, baby?” He “hell yes”es as he does. Leaning over the sink, legs spreading some as press to him, aligning your mound to his bum. His face in the mirror as he looks at you, both slick from the oils and everything else, his eyes slipping shut as you grind into him. Pulling him up with arms hooked under him, fingers over his shoulders, to mouth over them, wanting him so much, stroking over his still flushed torso... “Always my lovely boy, B...”

You register the hot water still running, steaming up the bathroom. Luckily, you can hump a bit more in the shower. Then again when you get out, laying him out on his belly, straddling and rocking on him. Maybe your pussy won't say no to more orgasms for very long, because all of you sure is saying yes to more of this...

#all i want for christmas is you #my fic masterpost #brendon urie fanfic #brendon urie smut #brendon urie imagine

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vickijones · 5 years

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Complete Guide to Weight Loss

From a glance, weight loss is simple. Eat less and move more. But it’s actually a lot more complex than that. First of all, I would like to say that weight loss is 70% diet and 30% exercise. You can work out for 60 minutes each day, but if you still eat like shit, you will not lose weight. On the other hand, if you don’t exercise at all and eat less, you will lose weight. But to maximize the full potential of your weight loss, and to gain health, fitness, and self confidence, you should incorporate both. Think of it as a lifestyle change. This isn’t some 3-month crash diet so you can fit into the dress for prom, only to regain the weight in a matter of weeks. You want to create healthy habits you can have for LIFE.

I’m not going to lie: weight loss is hard. It’s probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in your life. Which is why if you have a set-back, you have to keep on pushing. You’ll laugh, cry, and will want to give up at times, but I guarantee end result will be worth all the effort.

Setting realistic goals Calories Diet Healthy foods list Exercise Bingeing Staying motivated Weighing yourself Plateau Targeting fat loss Why do it the healthy way? Anything else?

Setting realistic goals You are way more likely to succeed in weight loss if you set realistic goals. A perfectly healthy rate of weight loss is 1-3 pounds a week. The heavier you are when you begin, the more weight you’ll lose. Anything more than 3 pounds a week without medical supervision means that you are probably losing muscle mass as well. So no, losing 50 pounds in a month is probably not an attainable goal. Instead of thinking “Oh my god I have to lose 30 pounds in 4 months how am I ever going to start!”, divide up your goal into mini ones. Aim for 5-10 pounds a month, and soon it will seem less daunting. Make sure your ultimate goal weight is also something that you body can reach. For example, if you’re 5'8’’ with a large frame, you’ll probably never be 100 pounds unless you resort to unhealthy methods. Your health is more important than how thin you are!

Calories One pound of fat is 3500 calories. You can eat a certain amount of calories a day without gaining any weight, and this is called the recommended daily intake. Use this to calculate your RDI (it’s the maintenance one). To lose weight, you have to create a calorie deficit. Let’s say your RDI is 2000 calories a day. If you eat 500 calories less per day, that adds up to 3500 calories less in the whole entire week, which means one pound of weight loss! If you consume 1000 calories less a day (which I don’t recommend unless your RDI is 2200+), that means 7000-calorie deficit throughout the week, which equates to 2 pounds lost. Depending on your current weight and exercise level, you should aim to eat around 250-750 calories below your RDI each day. Never eat below 1000-1200 calories because you won’t be getting the adequate nutrition that you need, you’ll lose your energy, and your metabolism will start slowing down. You can burn calories from exercise too! I’ll go more into that later. On days where you exercise, eat slightly more to replenish the energy you lose from exercise. Should you count calories while losing weight? That’s a question I get a lot. I used to count calories religiously, but I found that it didn’t work for me. Try counting calories for 2 weeks. If it’s something you like, continue with it. If you don’t like it, stop. This way you will know what a 1200, 1500, or 1800 (etc.) calorie day looks like. This site is great for figuring out how much weight you’ll lose depending on your starting weight, exercise, and caloric intake. It’s pretty accurate. Myfitnesspal is a great site if you want to count calories. It has every single food imaginable and a lot of exercises. It’s also an app! It calculates how many calories you need to eat and how much you need to burn from exercise to reach your goal weight. It’s customized to your height, age, gender, and weight.

Diet The following are some great tips I found while I was losing weight. You can use as many as you like. The bolded ones are the most important 1. Cut out junk/processed food as much as you can. 2. Drink 8 cups of water a day. Water flushes out toxins and keeps you full. 3. No liquid calories! Or cut them down as much as possible. They add up so much without being filling. Water and tea are your new best friends. 4. Eat in moderation. If you want that cookie, have ONE and be done with it. If you eliminate all your favorite foods, you will be more likely to lose self-control and binge. 5. Are you at a restaurant and don’t know how to eat healthy? Here are some good tips. 6. Whole grains instead of white/enriched grains. Why? Because they don’t have the fibre and nutrients completely stripped from them. Fibre fills you up a lot! 7. Eat LOTS of fruits and vegetables. They are full of nutrition and very calorie light. 8. Eat protein. Protein is the most filling of all the macronutrients (carbs, fat, protein). Good sources of protein are chicken, turkey, beef, fish, eggs, legumes, and nuts. Google for more! 9. Eat slowly. It takes several minutes for the feeling of being full to reach your brain. 10. DO NOT EAT IF YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY. Do not ever feel like you’re obligated to eat anything. 11. Use a smaller plate. It gives the illusion that you’re eating more food. 12. Measure out what you’re eating. You don’t have to do it every single time you eat something, but do it once so you have an idea of what a serving size actually is. For example, chances are you’re pouring more than a recommended serving of one cup of cereal. 13. Limit, if not eliminate all “extras” like butter, mayonnaise, ketchup, dressing, added sugar, added oil, etc. 14. Eat breakfast! There have been so many studies done that show that people who eat breakfast lose more weight. It kickstarts your metabolism for the day and you’re less likely to binge later. 15. Don’t eat mindlessly while watching the TV, on the computer, or doing other activity. Be very aware of what you eat. 16. Keep a food journal so you can be accountable. 17. Don’t eat out of a bottomless bag. Scoop one serving into a bowl and eat from that. 18. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T STARVE YOURSELF. Your body will not live on 200 calories a day just because you told it to. There are so many adverse psychological and physical effects of starvation. You will be more likely to be depressed, get an eating disorder, lose your health, and develop unhealthy habits for the rest of your life. Your body needs energy (food) to survive. Don’t think of food as something you need to eliminate. Food is just food. It’s not your friend, nor is it your enemy.

Healthy Food List Whole grains- bread, pasta, tortillas, wraps, oatmeal Meat- skinless chicken and turkey, fish, lean beef, shrimp, seafood, eggs Vegetables- every single vegetable. I especially like spinach, lettuce, broccoli, asparagus, cucumber, squash, celery, legumes, nuts (in moderation because they’re high calorie despite their nutritional benefits) and sweet potatoes Fruits- every single fruit. I especially like bananas, apples, strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, raspberries, watermelon, and peaches. Dairy – skim milk, light cheese, yogurt Fat - Nuts, tuna, avocado

Exercise It is best to exercise at least 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time to lose weight. Cardio exercise is what burns fat (anything that gets your heart rate up) and burns calories. That’s where you can subtract calories from your daily intake. Here’s a calories burned calculator. The most effective cardio workouts are running, biking, dancing, and swimming (just to name a few). Aim for at least 15 minutes of cardio each time you work out. You should also do some strength training. This can be lifting weights, doing crunches, lunges, squats, pushups, bicep curls… (google for more workouts). Though they burn less calories, they do build muscle. This is important because one pound of muscle takes up less space than one pound of fat, giving the illusion of even more weight loss! Plus muscle burns more calories than fat when you’re sitting still. And muscles will eliminate the skinny-flabby look. People who exercise burn more calories simply existing than people who don’t. In essence, working out burns calories, which increases your standing metabolism, burning more calories! SO GET OFF YOUR BUM AND MOVE. If you have time to tumblr you have time to work out! Remember the times I give are the bare MINIMUM. What I find most effective is 30+ minutes of cardio and 30+ minutes of strength training in one workout, 5 times a week.

Bingeing So you’ve just binged. What now? First you have to accept that what’s in the past is done. You ate the extra food and now you feel guilty. Let go of the guilt! There is no point in worrying about things you can’t change. 1. Do not purge. This creates a terrible cycle of bingeing/purging and can lead to an eating disorder. Purging is also extremely unhealthy towards your body, causing stomach ulcers, tooth decay, esophagus problems, and a lot more. 2. Do not starve yourself. This also creates a cycle of bingeing/starvation. Remember, just because you eat significantly less the next day does not make it “okay” for you to binge! 3. Eat as healthy as you can. Your body will be in need of nutrients after you binge on unhealthy food. Consume fruits and vegetables because they won’t bloat you as much as carbs. Resume your regular eating pattern! 4. Exercise the next day. You don’t need to overdo it with exercise either, just do some cardio to speed your metabolism up. (Nothing too extreme, remember resume your regular lifestyle) 5. After a binge you can gain anywhere from 1lb-10lbs. Most of this is probably just water weight! Carbs and salty foods make your body retain a lot of water. One pound of fat is 3500 calories, and unless you ate 5000+ calories the day before, you didn’t actually gain a pound! 6. Drink water. As odd as it seems, the more water you drink, the more water weight you’ll lose. 7. Recognize why you binged. Was it because you were sad? Stressed? Bored? Socializing? Once you start identifying these factors you can go towards solving the root problem of the binge. 8. Forgive yourself. Recognize that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’re just human. Will one binge really matter in the scope of things? No. As long as you don’t make bingeing a habit, the weight will come off in no time. How to avoid binges 1. Eat enough on a day to day basis. Make sure you’re not restricting your calories too much. Your body will start thinking that it’s in a period of starvation and will do ANYTHING it can to get extra food. 2. Don’t cut off entire food groups/your favourite foods completely. The more forbidden something is, the more you’ll crave it. 3. This goes hand in hand with the previous rule. If you crave a piece of chocolate, have it! A lot of times people will think, “Oh I really want chocolate. But that’ll ruin my diet! So I’ll just have a healthy granola bar… wow I’m still not satisfied. Maybe I’ll have another granola bar. But it’s not sweet enough! I think I’ll have some cereal with that too. And some milk. And some more sugary cereal.” And before they know it, they’ll have consumed MUCH more than if they had just had the piece of chocolate in the first place and squashed that craving! And most people end up having the food they craved by the end of their binge anyway. 4. Avoid emotions that trigger your binge. Call a friend, go for a walk, have a bath… do something that occupies your mind when you feel like bingeing!

Staying Motivated Sometimes you’ll want to skip a workout or you’ll want to eat a whole entire pizza. Weight loss is hard. Whenever I lost motivation, I thought of all the reasons why I wanted to lose weight. Create your own list of reasons why you’d like to lose weight and remind yourself of them often. When you’re about to veer off track, just think of how absolutely healthy, slim, fit, and awesome you’ll be once you reach your ultimate goal weight. (Note: these reasons should be motivated by something within yourself like to get healthier, not to impress your friends. It’s much easier to lose motivation when you’re losing weight to prove something to someone else instead of finding happiness for yourself). Also, awarding yourself for reaching mini-goals is another great way of motivation (clothes, photoshoot, trip, concert, etc). Have a support group. Studies have shown that people who lose weight with others are more successful than people who don’t. If your family and friends aren’t supportive of your weight loss, that’s where tumblr comes in! You can also join a fitness class (yoga, dance, swimming, karate, wall climbing… what have you ALWAYS wanted to do?) so you have to work out. If you have some extra cash, invest in a gym membership as well. Or maybe even get a personal trainer? Don’t give up if you screw up: you will regret it. A slip up is minor in the whole picture of things. Of course there’s going to be failure, but you have to get back up and keep fighting. It’s hard, but the end effort IS worth it. Years from now, will you be healthy and slim or will you have given up and fallen back into your old unhealthy ways? It’s your choice.

Weighing Yourself It’s best to weigh yourself once a week, but once a day is okay too. Seriously, don’t weigh yourself once every few hours. Weight fluctuations of up to 10lbs throughout the day/week are very normal! Your weight will fluctuate due to your period, water retention from excess carbs/salt, last time you ate, time of day, last time you pooped/peed, being sick, exercise, muscle gain, and so many other factors. You’re less likely to lose motivation when you focus on the overall trend in weight loss, not the individual weigh ins.

Plateau Hitting a plateau sucks. It happens to almost everyone when they lose weight. To combat/avoid it, you have to keep your exercise and diet varied. If you get good at one exercise, your body begins to adapt to it and you no longer burn as many calories. Try lengthening the time of your workouts or the intensity of them. Or try a new exercise altogether! For food, you can try calorie cycling, which is basically where you eat different amounts of calories a day, but the weekly average is still the same. It’s supposed to trick your body’s metabolism. I’ve never tried it so I can’t attest to its usefulness but it’s worked for other people. Also try eating new foods! And varying the amount of food you have for breakfast/lunch/dinner. Jillian Michaels (who is a fabulous fitness guru, if you haven’t heard of her) advises for people to increase the calories they’re eating and take rest from working out for a few days to break plateaus. This reminds tells the body “Oh hey you’re not actually starving so you can lose some fat!” I know it sounds counterintuitive but that’s how I broke through my plateau. It’s worked for a lot of other people too. You may also be at a point where your body no longer wants to lose weight and it’s doing all it can to keep onto the necessary fat. Yes, fat is necessary for your survival. Keep your goals realistic. You may also be eating too much. 1700 calories a day may have made you lose weight when you were 200 pounds, but it won’t create a big deficit when you’re at 130 pounds. Try eating a bit less, but don’t starve yourself. Make sure you’re not sneaking calories in by adding extra pats of butter, too much salad dressing, underestimating portion sizes, etc.

Targeting Fat Loss It is impossible to target fat loss. You can’t decide to lose weight only from your stomach. It is your genetics that determines where the weight comes off first. A combination of cardio and healthy eating will lead to overall fat loss. Strength training will tone the area up though, making it tighter!

Why do it the healthy way? The healthy way is slow, hard, and painful. You could always just starve yourself and get the same results faster. But you know what? If you lose weight that way, you risk losing your physical and psychological health, self-confidence, relationships, and happiness too. Love your body, treat it right, and the weight will come off. It’s as simple as that.

Source

#weightloss #diet #health & fitness

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dean-bluesteel-winchester-spnfam · 5 years

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(You’re going to hate me for this) All of the questions on the soft asks post!

All of them! But I’m not that soft ;)

cherry - what is your sexuality? Uh well this took me a looooong way, but I’m bisexual and now I’m proud and out. (or something like that)

lollipop - favorite makeup products? Ehm I don’t think I even have an idea what half of it is called. I was in makeup once, when Balthazar sent us to this other world and I didn’t really like it.

daydreams - if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be? Oh that’s a tough one huh. I’d like to be a Rockstar. Maybe front singer of Led Zeppelin?

october - what month were you born in? January, I hate it. It’s always cold, not that it really matters, since I never celebrated it anyway.

caress - do you like to snuggle? Hmmm. I feel like if I write ‘no’ serveral people will scream at me. So yes, I’ll admit it. I do like it... a lot.

ivory - describe your pajamas? mostly I sleep in an old shirt and boxershorts but Cas got me real pajamas and they are so soft. They’re just a dark blue with stars on it.

golden - favorite stationary product? Scissors, can easily be used as a weapon.

freckles - most-worn article of clothing? Oh years ago it was definitively my old man’s lether jacket. Now it’s maybe my favorite green flannel or some kind of Bandshirt.

twilight - best friend? @anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam and @queen-charlie-spnfam

silk - do you like k-pop? Not at all.

poppy - favorite pastel color? eh #6EB5FF. I never thought of this before but this looks like Cas’ eyes.

dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face? Oh their eyes, I feel like you can see a lot in some people’s eyes. If they are kind and stuff, that’s attractive.

sunkissed - autumn or spring? Well while I can wear more layers in autumn, I like spring a whole lot more.

buttery - favorite snack? P I E

whisper - how much sleep do you get? Before I had an overprotective boyfriend? 4 hours. Now? 6-8 hours.

pencil - do you own a journal? Actually... yes. Nobody’s ever seen it, but I hid it very well.

cupcake - are you a good cook? I think so. I had to learn anything by myself, but nobody ever complained before. (Besides Sam, that there is not enough green on his plate, but come on.)

honey - favorite term of endearment? I love to call Cas my angel, which I think embarrasses him a lot, but he also likes it. For me, probably Baby or... and only Cas is ever allowed to say that to me without getting punched, Honey.

clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams? Hmm. I don’t have many good dreams. But I loved one where I was just sitting on a pier, fishing. Castiel next to me. That was kinda calming. Otherwise it’s just nightmares.

velvet - who was your first crush? Oh, that was Robin, man she was my first kiss. I’ve never been more nervous in my life.

paper - favorite children’s book? I didn‘t read many books as a child, other than doing research for Dad. But we had this one school project with winnie the pooh and... yeah I pick that.

peaches - do you have a skincare routine? No. Should I have?

mochi - favorite studio ghibli film? Howl's Moving Castle

backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend? Nope, but Sam did! Like a REAL imaginary friend! Told us a lot of kids have one, so seems like I was never interesting enough for one.

strawberry - favorite fruit? Uh. Cherries.

kiss - have you ever kissed a friend? I kiss him every day.

nightlight - do you read before bed? No, but Castiel oftens reads his books out loud. We’re at Harry potter three now.

shampoo - favorite scent? Apple pie. Duh. But I also love motor oil, sue me.

skin - what distant relative are you closest to? I think they are all dead?

aphrodite - favorite actress/actor? The Misha Collins guy we met in the other universe.

cuddles - do you have any pets? Nope, but I have the bad feeling that will change really soon. They better get just ONE dog and that’s it.

lace - if you own any dresses, which is your favorite? Oh uh that... ehm. I only have one. Fuck. I will so regret saying that.

sheets - sanrio or san-x characters? So I had to google this and I lost it at Tissue-san, so I’ll take him.

cream - frozen yogurt flavor? Cake batter.

watermelon - do films ever make you cry? Yes...

sapphos - favorite poet? Castiel.

plush - how many stuffed animals do you still own? Oh god why are those questions so embarrassing! I may have one okay.

roses - what flower do you find most beautiful? Bellflower

sweetheart - favorite mug/cup? My Batman mug.

sunset - what are your pronouns? he/him. Glad the last one was the easiest.

#uff #yeah now you can all laugh about me

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nikatyler · 6 years

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Backyard, strawberry, watermelon

backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend?

Ahh…I wouldn’t call it an imaginary friend, but when I was a child, I had this whole world, kind of a story in my head that I told myself every night before falling asleep, or whenever we would be driving somewhere far away. And of course, everything was much better than the real world, I was there, I had awesome friends, a boyfriend (even though I was like 10 years old), there was magic…it was really nice and I miss it. Then again, these days I’m usually thinking about my stories so it’s similar, it’s just no longer about me but my characters.

strawberry - favorite fruit?

Strawberries, pineapple, peach…I like many fruits, actually. I’m picky when it comes to vegetables :P

watermelon - do films ever make you cry?

God, yes, all the time. Though recently, there was a new historical film, and so I obviously knew how it was going to end and I thought I would cry, but then the end was done in such a…I don’t know…shocking way?? And I absolutely loved the way they did it, I was speechless, it really made me realize what happened. I didn’t cry because I just couldn’t. And then I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the next week or so. By the way, I watched it like a month ago and on Friday, we watched it at school again. I had the same reaction, it hit me the exact same way. But I’m just rambling right now because it was so good.

Thanks for asking! ♥

#answered #108sims

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plants-rule · 5 years

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My third, 5-minute “Get Healthy” Simple Step:

4 Fruits a Day

Pop question:

Would you rather eat:

1 “Healthy” Energy Bar

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200 calories

13g fat

15g carbs

6g fiber

6g protein

Gone in 6 bites

or:

4 Pieces of Fruit

Fresh peaches and nectarines

230 calories

1g fat

58g carbs

11g fiber

3g protein

4 snacks you can spread throughout the day

Answer: Pick the fruit

It’s so simple, it’s ridiculous.

When you’re craving a sweet treat at the end of a meal, a juicy burst of flavor, or a crunchy, crispy snack — reach for fruit. Fruit is “Nature’s Candy”. It’s all-natural, unrefined goodness. It is packed with nutrients like Vitamin C, Potassium, fiber, and even a shot of protein. It’s gluten-free, plant-based, and you can splurge on organic for less than the cost of fancy granola bars.

Sadly, though, most of us aren’t eating enough of it. In fact, only 33% of adults are eating fruit 2 or more times a day. That means most of us are eating only 1 (or even none!) servings a day.

Fruit is a healthy source of vitamins, fiber, and natural sweetness. It can be a delicious treat any time of day, convenient for on-the-go snacking or an impressive healthy dessert. With a rainbow of colors and flavors to choose from, fruit provides endless recipe possibilities.

Could you eat:

Strawberries at breakfast

An orange at lunch

A banana as an afternoon snack, and

An apple with cinnamon for dessert after dinner?

Or maybe: Toss some blueberries in your oatmeal, add some pineapple to your salad, snack on a few grapes during the bus ride home, and eat a 5-Minute Chocolate Banana “I-Scream!”; at night?

Your goal this week: Eat 4 Natural, Whole Fresh Fruits Every Day

I’ve got some tips and tricks to get you started…

Here’s my Ultimate Chef’s Guide:

New Ideas on how to Cook and Enjoy Fruit

Besides just biting into a fresh apple, there are quite a few options for cooking fruit. You can stuff and bake those apples, grill some pineapple, or poach some pears. My experience as a plant-based chef has taught me a few key lessons on basic cooking techniques for fruit:

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Roasting or Baking

Skill Level: Intermediate Taste Level: Nervous Seedling

Use on: Harder, sturdier fruits like apples, pears, and peaches

How to do it: Preheat oven to 375. Use an apple corer or a small paring knife to remove the core, seeds, and pit. Place the fruit into a baking dish and add enough water to cover the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle on a teaspoon or so of cinnamon or pumpkin spice mix. Cover and bake 40 minutes, then remove the cover for another 10-15 minutes. You want the fruit to be knife-tender and slightly brown on top.

Chef’s Tips for Ultimate Flavor: You can add extra texture and delicious flavor by stuffing the fruit. For a quick gluten-free, healthy stuffing, mix: rolled oats, raisins, pecans, and cinnamon. Play with other variations by mixing in dried cherries, chopped dates, walnut pieces, cooked brown rice, nutmeg, and ginger.

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Chef’s Tip: Make a quick, healthy stuffing for baked apples by combining gluten-free rolled oats, raisins, pecans, and cinnamon

Chef’s Tip: An apple corer makes quick work of baking off a batch of healthy, satisfying fruit treats

Chef’s Baking Tip: The apples are done baking when a knife easily slides in and out. You’ve got a satisfying, warm, delicious dessert ready to go.

Poaching or Stewing

Skill Level: Intermediate

Taste Level: Curious Seedling – Confident Brussel Sprout

Use on: Whole or halved fresh apples, pears, peaches, apricots, and nectarines. Also great to rehydrate dried fruits like cherries, apricots, and figs.

How to do it: To poach fruit, first prepare your fruit by removing any inedible parts (like core, seed, or tough peels). Place fruit into a wide pan and add enough liquid to come up about 1/2 inch of the bottom of the fruit. Partially cover and bring to a simmer. Simmer over low for 10 minutes. Then, flip the fruit, and simmer another 10 minutes, or until the fruit is tender enough to pass the knife-glide test. Serve the fruit with the poached liquid. The only difference between stewing and poaching? With stewing, you’ll add enough liquid to completely cover the fruit and generally cook the fruit longer.

To make the Ultimate: Infuse the poaching or stewing liquid with flavor. Whole Vanilla Beans and a splash of white wine are classic. A dash of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice is an easy go-to option. For fancier flavor, try spices like Cardamom, Anise, Cloves, or Chinese Five-Spice.

For more interesting textures, use both dried and fresh fruits. The dried fruits will plump up as they absorb the poaching liquid, creating delicious “flavor bursts”.

Chef’s Tip: Add enough liquid to cover just 1/2-inch of the fruit. Stir or flip the fruit to make sure it even soaks up some of the poaching liquid for healthy, fat-free, delicious flavor

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Broiling or Grilling

Skill Level: Intermediate Taste Level: Curious Seedling – Confident Brussel Sprout

Use on: Tropical fruits like pineapple, mango, banana; Stone fruits like peaches, plums, and apricots; other fun fruits like apples and grapefruit — so many options!

How to do it: Basically, you want to heat a grill or your broiler to a “Hi” heat. Cut your fruit in half and leave in large pieces. If you’re using something like a peach or apple, remove the pit or seeds. Once your grill is nice and hot, place the fruit on the grill. Don’t touch it! Let it sear for at least 5 minutes. This will help the fruit caramelize, bringing out the natural sugars. It will also help release the fruit, making it easier to flip. After 5 minutes or so, flip the fruit and grill another 3-5 minutes on the second side.

To broil: The only difference between broiling and grilling is where your flame is. For grilling, the flame is below. For broiling, it’s above. You can broil a large quantity of fruit in your oven. Simply spread the fruit onto a baking sheet, leaving the cut side facing up. Broil 5 minutes, flip, and finish another 5 minutes.

Easy Broiled Apples – Healthy, Gluten-Free, Oil-Free, No Sugar Added, Plant-Based, Vegan Fruit Dessert Snack Recipe

Broiled Banana with Cinnamon and Cocoa Nibs – Healthy, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, Paleo, Oil-Free, Plant-Based, Vegan REcipe

Frozen…and even Canned

Skill Level: Beginner Taste Level: Curious Seedling – Confident Brussel Sprout

Use on: Frozen berries, mango, banana, peaches, and pineapple

How to do it: When fresh fruit isn’t at its peak, try frozen instead. Frozen fruit is packed during the height of the season, when fruit is at its ripest, so it can provide high-quality sweetness at a reasonable price. Some organic fruits like wild blueberries or organic peaches are cheaper frozen. In fact, many chefs prefer the consistency that frozen fruits provide, especially in baking recipes.

Wild Blueberries add a pop of sweet delicious flavor to these healthy vegan muffins. You can use frozen year-round

Fresh

Skill Level: Beginner Taste Level: Curious Seedling – Confident Brussel Sprout

Use on: Anything! Oranges, apples, mangos, blueberries, pineapple, watermelon…whatever looks delicious!

How to do it: There aren’t many “rules” when it comes to eating fresh fruit. Generally, it’s best to follow what is in season…strawberries in January usually aren’t as flavorful as they are in May. However, with year-round indoor farming catching ground and international shipping that brings us incredible plums from Argentina, even this guideline isn’t steadfast.

Two tips on picking the best fruit:

1) Smell it — If you can close your eyes and identify the fruit (or at least smell sweetness), you’re off to a good start

2) Weigh it — Heavier fruit is generally juicier, riper, and more delicious. You can just hold it in your hands to give it the “weight test”. If the fruit feels heavier than it looks, you’re good to go.

To make the Ultimate: Ever had an apple tasting? Why not try this at your next dinner party? Rather than a cheese tasting or wine tasting, choose 4-5 different varieties of apples from the market. Slice them up, then lead a “tasting” where your guests rate the apples on color, sweetness/tartness, crispness, and overall flavor.

Or make tropical fruit skewers with some unique fruits like papaya, guava, and lychee? This is a fun way to bring some playfulness to dessert.

For kids: Try the “color challenge”. Next time the kids join you for grocery shopping, give them to the goal to choose “2 red, 1 purple, and 1 orange” fruits. They might come back with red apples, purple grapes, and orange grapefruit…or something totally different! They’ll love playing a game AND getting to have a choice in what groceries come home.

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Healthy Fruit Nutrition:

Heart-Healthy Fiber

Nutrition Powerhouse

Can you eat Too Much?

Nutrition Powerhouse Truths: Fruit is naturally a good source of Vitamin C, Potassium, Folate, and Dietary Fiber. These nutrients help fight colds, protect you from heart disease, lower blood cholesterol, help your skin heal from cuts, improve red blood cell function, and generally keep you moving and grooving for years to come.

Too Much Fruit: Is it possible to eat too much fruit? Despite the fact that most of us aren’t getting enough fresh fruit in our diets, this is one of the most common concerns. Often we’re worried about “too much sugar” or “fructose toxicity”. However, research has shown that eating even 20 servings of fruit a day was safe, even lowering cholesterol. This article on the Forks Over Knives blog lays it all out: Is it Possible to Eat Too Much Fruit?

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Check out my Fruit Videos on YouTube:

Fruit: How to Pick It and Cut It

Easy and Creative Fruit Recipes:

Hungry Yet?

Here are some healthy, plant-based recipes to inspire you to Eat Your Fruit:

Cherries, Berries, Pineapple, Pears: 15 Easy and Creative Healthy Fruit Recipes

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References and More Reading:

Why is it Important to Eat Fruit, Choosemyplate.gov : https://www.choosemyplate.gov/fruits-nutrients-health

Fruit and vegetable consumption among adults–United States, 2005. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17363889

Is It Possible to Eat Too Much Fruit? BY NAOMI IMATOME-YUN, Forks Over Knives blog: https://www.forksoverknives.com/is-it-possible-to-eat-too-much-fruit/

Step Three: 4 Fruits a Day, An Easy Change towards a Healthy, Plant-Based Life My third, 5-minute “Get Healthy” Simple Step: 4 Fruits a Day Pop question: Would you rather eat:

#advice #berries #cherries #dessert #diet #easy #fruit #how to cook #nutrition #peaches #pears #pineapple #simple #tip #weight loss

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drlaurynlax · 6 years

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How to Heal IBS Naturally for Good

Can you heal IBS naturally? Well, Natural IBS healing IS possible…here’s what you need to know

IBS 101

IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) is a collection of unspecific signs and symptoms also known as a “disease of exclusion” when other gut problems that have a structural component (like IBD, GERD or diverticulitis) have been ruled out. I will discuss how you can heal IBS properly.

IBS Symptoms

Ideally, IBS symptoms must have been present at least 3 months before a diagnosis is given. The most common symptoms include reoccurring abdominal pain with two or more of the following:

Chronic diarrhea or loose, watery stools

Chronic Constipation

Interchanging constipation and loose stools (never consistent)

Improvement with defecation

Onset associated with a change in frequency or consistency of the form of stool.

Causes of IBS

There is no one single cause of IBS. Some potential triggers of the onset of IBS include:

Food poisoning

Gut infections (like parasites)

Antibiotic use

Low stomach acid

Heavy metal and toxin exposure

Suppressed immune system

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Leaky gut

Gut dysbiosis (unhealthy balance of gut bacteria)

Gluten and food intolerances

Regardless of what started your IBS symptoms, there is no doubt that it is UNCOMFORTABLE, and can keep many enchained to always needing to know where the nearest bathroom is (diarrhea), or praying every time they are on the toilet “please help me go #2!” (constipation).

What to do about it?!

There’s a wide variety of both pharmacological (drugs, like laxatives, stool softeners and steroids) and non-pharmacological (non drug, natural) treatments for IBS.

However, in BOTH clinical practice and the scientific literature, the non-drug treatments are not only safer and have LESS side effects, but they are also MORE effective in many cases.

Here is a 4-step natural healing protocol for IBS—both IBS-C (constipation) and IBS-D (diarrhea).

Heal IBS Naturally

Step 1: Identify Underlying Food Intolerances

Testing for sensitivity to gluten and dairy can be game changing if you are sensitive to these foods. In addition, other foods (particularly FODMAPS, like apples and high fructose fruits, Brussels sprouts and other cruciferous veggies) can trigger symptoms.

People with IBS are often but not always FODMAP intolerant. The Low-FODMAP diet is one of the most, if not the most, effective treatments according to research studies (1). This is an important step to heal IBS.

The top recommended ways to “test,” include either:

An elimination & customized diet (see Step 3) to test and experience how certain foods make you feel or don’t feel (first hand)

Cyrex Food Intolerance Testing

Array 3 (gluten and gluten derivatives, if you are currently eating gluten)

Array 4 (gluten cross contaminating foods)

Also, Array 10 (list of 100+ foods, like FODMAPs)

Step 2: Identify Additional Gut Dysfunction (if any)

In addition to assessing for food intolerances, testing and assessing for other gut conditions that may be behind your IBS is crucial. Work with a functional medicine practitioner or nutritionist to determine if any further testing is necessary to find out what may be driving your IBS condition, such as:

SIBO Breath Testing (SIBO)

Comprehensive Stool Testing (Parasites, Bacterial or Gut Infections)

Functional Blood Chemistry Analysis (Thyroid Testing, Iron Deficiency/Overload, Nutrient Deficiencies)

DUTCH Hormone Testing (HPA-Axis Dysregulation and cortisol imbalances)

Organic Acids Testing (gut imbalances)

Toxic Burden Testing (urine, hair, serum)

By assessing and addressing the “root” causes of health imbalances, you may find the real reason IBS is prevalent in the first place. This is a great start to heal IBS for good.

Step 3: Integrate a Real, Foods Diet

It sounds simple, but simplifying your nutrition can get you far.

After all, if you have a “dirty windshield” and keep getting more dirt on it, you won’t notice if it’s still dirty. BUT if you have a clean windshield, and then put more dirt on it, you certainly will notice. The same thing goes for our diet and when you try to heal IBS.

Real whole foods should comprise the base of a diet to heal IBS in order to give yourself the best possible chance to allow your IBS healing supplement protocol can also work for you (below).

In addition, I find that an anti-inflammatory Gut Reset dietary approach or AIP style (autoimmune protocol) diet can be tremendously impact early to heal IBS—especially during times of a “flare.”

Foods to Include

Sustainable Proteins (wild caught fish, pastured poultry, grass-fed beef, etc.)

Leafy Greens

Colorful Starchy Tubers (sweet potatoes, winter squashes, carrots, beets)

Fibrous Veggies

Healthy Fats (avocado, coconut, olives/olive oil, grass-fed butter, ghee, animal fats)

Clean Filtered Water & Herbal Teas

Foods to Avoid

Eggs (pastured egg yolks ok in moderation)

Nuts

Nightshade Veggies & Spices (peppers, tomatoes, chilis, chili powder, paprika, eggplant, white potatoes)

Grains

Dairy (except for fermented full fat kefir or yogurt)

Alcohol (no more than 2-4 glasses/week)

Instant Coffee (even Starbucks; opt for 1 cup organic black roast if you drink)

Sweeteners & Sugars

Additives

Next Level

Already “eat clean” or eat real food, but don’t feel any differently?

Some people find a short-term (30-90 days) “therapeutic” Low FODMAP diet. This helps them take their diet to the next level to heal IBS. Also, this allows inflammation to cool down. FODMAPS are ___ . They include dozens of foods with these sugars that trigger IBS symptoms in some.

No, NOT ALL FODMAPS have to be avoided.

A low-FODMAP diet can provide short-term relief and it can be used partially. For example, you can remove YOUR biggest triggers from the low-FODMAP diet. This includes broccoli, apples and onions but continue eating other FODMAPs that don’t necessarily trigger you.

Check out this complete list of FODMAPS

Low FODMAP Diet

Eat Freely: Low FODMAP Foods

Veggies

Bamboo shoots

Beet

Bok choy

Carrot

Cucumber (including pickles made without sugar)

Dandelion greens Eggplant Endive

Fermented vegetables (raw sauerkraut, or lacto- fermented vegetables)

Green beans

Kale

Lettuce

Olives

Parsnip

Sea vegetables

Spinach

Spring onion (green partonly)

Sprouts and microgreens (including alfalfa and sunflower)

Summer squash (zucchini, pattypan and yellow squash)

Swiss chard

Tomatoes (including cherry tomatoes)

Winter squash (acorn, butternut, pumpkin and spaghetti squash)

Fruits

Banana

Blueberries

Grapefruit

Kiwi

Lemon

Lime

Melons (including cantaloupe and honeydew)

Orange

Papaya

Mandarin

Passionfruit

Pineapple

Raspberries

Rhubarb

Strawberries

Proteins

Muscle meats

Organ meats

Homemade bone broth

Fish and Seafood

Poultry

Eggs

Bacon (made without sugar)

Fats

Avocado oil

Coconut oil

Cod liver oil

Ghee

Grass-fed butter

Lard from pastured animals

Olives and EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)

Macadamia oil

Homemade mayonnaise

Sprouted nuts and seeds minimal quantities

Starches

Cassava / Yuca

Plantain

Rutabaga

Taro

Turnip

White potato

Sweet potato

White rice

Best Avoided: High FODMAP Foods

Veggies

Asparagus (fructose)

Broccoli (fructans)

Cabbage (fructans)

Cauliflower (polyol)

Garlic (fructans)

Jerusalem artichoke (fructans)

Leeks (fructans)

Okra (fructans)

Artichoke (fructose)

Onion (fructans) Shallots (fructans)

Snow peas (fructans, polyols)

Sugar snap peas (fructose)

Raddichio (fructans)

Tomato sauces and tomato paste (fructose, fructans)

Avocado (polyol)

Brussels sprouts (fructans)

Celery (polyol)

Fennel bulb (fructans)

Green peas (fructans)

Mushrooms (polyol)

Fruits

Apple (fructose and polyol)

Apricot (polyol)

Cherries (fructose and polyol)

Mango (fructose)

Nectarine (polyol)

Peach (polyol)

Pear (fructose and polyol)

Persimmon (polyol) Plum (polyol)

Watermelon (fructose and polyol)

Proteins

Legumes (lentils, beans, and peanuts)

Soy (including edamame, tofu, tempeh, and soy milk)

Fats

Vegetable oils and high pro-inflammatory omega-6 fats (canola, sunflower, safflower, grape seed, soybean, cottonseed and peanut oils)

Processed mayonnaise and salad dressings

Pistachios (fructans)

Almonds

Hazelnuts

Most nut and seed butters (unless raw, sprouted nuts)

Starches

Wheat

Gluten

Gluten-cross contaminating grains (oats, quinoa, barley)

Dairy

Cheese

All commercial dairy products made from non- pastured, grain-fed cows, such as commercial yogurt, whey and pasteurized milk.

Additives & Seasonings

Sugar-, grain-, soy- or gluten-containing seasonings or condiments (ketchup, soy sauce, some tamari sauces, balsamic glaze, commercial mayonnaise and salad dressings)

Chicory (fructans)

Sugar alcohols (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol, etc.)

Gums, carrageenan, soy lecithin

MSG and colorings Agave syrup (fructose)

Artificial sweeteners (Splenda, aspartame, etc.)

High-fructose corn syrup (fructose)

Honey (fructose)

Refined sugars

Beverages

Beer (most contain gluten and/or mannitol)

Fruit juice Soda

Wine (ports, late harvest, ice wine)

Bonus: Low FODMAP Optimization

Consume organ meat. For example, liver from pastured animals one to two times weekly will help to replenish your vitamin B12, iron, and other nutrients IBS commonly depletes you of. This will help heal IBS.

Sip homemade bone broth between meals or with meals

Slow cook, stew, braise and poach meats for best digestion at low cooking temperatures. You can take this step to heal IBS effectively.

Vegetables should be well-cooked with any seeds removed to improve digestibility; minimize

intake of raw, fibrous fruits and vegetables.

WHAT IF LOW FODMAP DOESN’T WORK?!: THE GAPS DIET

Beyond an anti-inflammatory (real foods) diet, and the Low FODMAP approach, one more short term dietary approach the works for some is the GAPS Diet—specifically a diet developed to heal gut dysfunction and bacterial imbalance.

It’s a subset of the real foods, anti-inflammatory diet with the main distinction of forbidding starchy plants. This means avoiding or significantly restricting potatoes, sweet potatoes, plantains, yuca, taro, and all grains, such as white rice, oats and quinoa.

GAPS DIET BASICS

The GAPS diet is similar to the customized anti-inflammatory diet, with the following distinctions:

• It eliminates all starch sources (e.g., sweet potatoes, potatoes, plantains, etc.).

• It emphasizes the use of fermented foods and bone broths to restore healthy gut

microbiota and gut barrier integrity

• It allows dairy that contains little or no lactose, like grass-fed butter, ghee, homemade

kefir and yogurt, hard cheeses, and fermented cream. Milk, soft cheeses, and unfermented

cream are NOT allowed.

• GAPS begins with an “introductory phase” that allows only meat, fish, bone broth, ginger tea, and small amounts of fermented foods and progresses through several stages, concluding with the “full GAPS diet,” which is much less restrictive.

You can find out all the details at the website.

Step 4: Lifestyle Gamechangers

Once a baseline of “real foods” is established, a few lifestyle game changers can make a difference in how you feel.

Sleep Enough. Get 7-9 hours of sleep (shortened sleep shortens the elimination process)

Drink Half Your Bodyweight in Ounces of Water. Essential for healthy bowels

Stress Management. Stress is the #1 driver of all disease—IBS included. In addition, stress is NOT just mental either, it involves physiological and sociological stress too, such as circadian rhythm dysfunction. For example, staring at screens all day, shift work, eating late or working out late at night, nature and fresh air deprivation, lack of social connection, working long hours without breaks. Eliminate one habit stressing your body out and integrate a balance of work and play to heal IBS.

Increase Soluble Fiber (prebiotics). These foods help you go #2 and form healthy bulk in stools (i.e. partially hydrolyzed guar gum (PHGG) supplements, and prebiotic foods, like cooked and cooled sweet potatoes/potatoes, carrots, and squashes, green tipped bananas and plantains, and cooked and cooled white rice).

Step 5: Supplement Smart

Last but not least, some supplemental supports can help your body rewire healthy bowel function. Keep in mind though, you CANNOT supplement your way out of a stressful lifestyle or unhealthy diet.

IBS-C (Constipation) Natural Supplement Protocol

Antimicrobial Herbal Supplements. Kill off bad gut bacteria. (Recommendation: Dysbiocide + FC Cidal)

Bitter Herbs: Take under tongue to stimulate bile (waste) production. (Recommendation: Iberogast)

GI Revive (Designs for Health). A blend or herbals to support elimination.

Magnesium

Magnesium Glycinate (200-600 mg/day) *don’t use high doses over long term

Also, Magnesium Citrate (like Natural Calm, 1-2 tsp. before bed)

Ox Bile. Liver Support to encourage detoxification and proper waste production (Recommendation: Beta Plus).

Peppermint. Natural stimulant and soother for constipation. (Recommendation: IB Gard)

Soil Based Probiotics, Promote healthy gut bacteria in the microbiome. (Recommendation: Primal Probiotics)

Prebiotics. Help form healthy stools and support healthy gut bacteria. (Recommendation: Sunfiber)

Prokinetic: Helps move bowels through. (Recommendation: MotilPro)

Vitamin-Electrolyte Blends Vitamin C stimulates digestion and elimination. (Recommendation: Ageless Hydro-C)

IBS-D (Diarrhea) Natural Supplement Protocol

Antimicrobial Herbal Supplements. Kill off bad gut bacteria. (Recommendation: Dysbiocide + FC Cidal)

Bitter Herbs. Calm stomach aggravation or abdominal upset. (Recommendation: Iberogast)

Butyrate Supplement* (sodium/potassium form + pre-biotic powder in water, like this one)

Peppermint. Natural stimulant and soother for constipation. (Recommendation: IB Gard)

Soil Based Probiotics, Promote healthy gut bacteria in the microbiome. (Recommendation: Primal Probiotics)

Prebiotics. Help form healthy stools and support healthy gut bacteria. (Recommendation: Sunfiber)

Saccharomyces boulardii (Recommendation: Floramyces)

BONUS

For bloating symptoms: Atrantil (2 capsules with meals, diminishes bloating as well)

Resources

1. Hill, P., Muir, J. G., & Gibson, P. R. (2017). Controversies and Recent Developments of the Low-FODMAP Diet. Gastroenterology & Hepatology, 13(1), 36–45.

The post How to Heal IBS Naturally for Good appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/gut-health/how-to-heal-ibs-naturally-for-good/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

#Holistic #Nutrition #Therapy #Recovery #Functional #Medicine #Dr. Lauryn Lax #Dr.Lauryn

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unhinged-diaries-blog · 6 years

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Quick little update. I ate poorly this weekend and I’ve gained a few ounces and maybe it’s because I’m about to start my cycle again to where I have water weight but I think I’ve gained a pound which pisses me off so what’s going to happen is I got to go back to being better. I’m gonna spend the whole night drinking liquids sucking down proteins shakes because somethings got a fucking stop this and it doesn’t really help that it’s 110° today with the humidity is 75% doesn’t help that I really want to go walking and it is so nasty outside that the only walking I’m basically doing is exercising inside

I’ve not really drink much today because I’ve been focused on work. I packed sliced strawberries, cantaloupe, watermelon, and peaches so that helped with some liquid I’ve had four slices of lunch meat to eat all day since 9 AM this morning I’m not hungry personally I think I’m more thirsty anything I think if I can suck down this damn water which has strawberries in it by the way, vitamin water, zero Gatorade I should be good

I’ve basically realize for the really tough shit I’m dealing with I will put it on my side blog because I don’t want any reader to be distracted from the weight-loss journey but at the same time I’m not gonna give out my user name when no one gives a shit ask me

In more recent news my soon to be 13-year-old niece is going to live back with her mom and I guess her mom is trying to fix her third marriage with her husband LOL it’s a fucking joke really my boss has been in and out of the office and the girl that works here next to me it’s kind of a joke she would rather be texting and on Facebook then working which is hilarious because she has her bachelors degree in journalism and she’s making three times as much money as I make in yet she has time to fuck around? But I digress

My soon to be 13-year-old niece has to Graham so I can talk to her she’s been putting pictures of my nieces and nephews on her Instagram. It’s so pathetic that she’s the only one taking pictures and showing me when I’ve been asking for fucking years for the pictures, video, any fucking updates and yet it has to come from a 13-year-old who isn’t even in that family LOL

my toxic family and such a shit show the weekend went pretty fucking amazing I did nothing I went down to the office and help with volunteers take some pictures and that day was full of pedicures and cures and things that we shouldn’t have paid the amount we paid for but I’ve always struggled with my feet and I think I’ve always struggled with the side effects of diabetes however I’m glad I did it we also shop for shoes which was great I found these really cute pair of slip ons

were supposed to go walking next weekend to distribute fliers for the campaign I’m running I know he’s not gonna win and he knows he’s not going to win I still don’t understand why he ran away I know the reason I think it’s a stupid reason and I think the fact that my fertility once again gets pushed to the side and me becoming a mother is not gonna happen anytime this year

My mom’s birthday is next week should send her a card or something should send her a present or something but the fact remains that she’s half blind technically legally blind as of today I think she staying with my brother in Tucson which is great for her to leave but at the end of the day honestly that whole family is such a toxic shit show that I am building a wall of separation because I don’t need that in my life

I think I have to start taking my depression medication again because the whole I’m so happy lasted for only so long it was the best feeling ever I have three more weeks of this job which is great but I just hope I can get the clients needs my boss is like we need to have at least 15 clients by the time you leave which is the 24th basically I have three weeks to get 15 clients I’ve gotten no leads today everybody’s going to voicemail or they really don’t want to trust a staffing agency and my boss warned me about it but at the end of the day I’m still getting paid $10 an hou I think I have to start taking my depression medication again because the whole I’m so happy lasted for only so long it was the best feeling ever I have three more weeks of this job which is great but I just hope I can get the clients needs my boss is like I need to have at least 15 clients bye the time you leave which is the 24th basically I have three weeks to get 15 clients I’ve gotten no leads today everybody’s going to voicemail or they really don’t want to stress the staffing agency and my boss warned me about it but at the end of the day I’m still getting paid $10 an hour

I made an appointment with my therapist for the end of August and I don’t think my internship is going to have too much of a problem with me going to this appointment and then coming straight to their office and working

I financed how much my books are going to cost and it’s a whole whopping $80 and I’m so fucking thrilled the only bad problem is I have seven books to read and I think a majority of these books my teachers going to cut in half over 16 weeks he wants us to go over Hemingway, class, and some others and class I’m taking does it seem so hard but it’s going to be a lot of fucking practice I think it’s just like any 101 class that you take lots of practice lots of memorization and lots of work I still think it’s bullshit I have to take this class because this university is stating that any English major should have three semesters of language instead it to you back in Arizona when I took it

Well I guess it’s time for me to go home I haven’t really been doing anything for the past 30 minutes I finished all my work I called the people I need to call them and say it was unsuccessful day maybe it’s because I’m tired but I’ll probably update this later

#mine #personal #s #vsg #wls #wlscommunity #vsgjourney #junesleevers #wlsjourney

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mammahealth · 7 years

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Teething And Your Baby: Symptoms And Remedies

Teething. That word alone can literally make any mum cry.

It is not an easy time to go through with your baby. But it is inevitable and all we can do is to make it as pleasant as possible. It is also a big relationship test filled with sleepless nights, household chaos and baby tantrums. But also a huge relief when it is all through and over. That’s a lot of emotions to endure as a mom, right? Exactly that and one long roller coaster. Teething is a hot topic among parents of infants up to 2 to 3 years (sometimes older).

The teething period is usually a very painful stage of the life of a baby. Thankfully, the key symptoms will help you to spot the start of teething. You will have enough time to prepare for it and help your baby with one of the simple natural remedies.

With your baby coming, it is a good idea to start thinking what you need, and what you already have so you are fully prepared when your little one needs you most.

Beware: When your baby first starts making a fuss or looks slightly pink around the cheeks, everyone will assume that teething is the problem. You will receive friendly advice on various methods to tackle the issue. Unsurprisingly, this barrage of information is not always a great help. Not every whinge or cry is the hint of teething. Likewise, not every remedy is automatically suitable.

THE PROCESS OF TEETHING

The teething itself starts with the tooth emerging through the gums. The process ends with the tooth “cutting through” the gums. This referred to as “eruption”. The whole process takes a couple of months and sometimes up to a year for the teeth to appear. The tooth doesn’t miraculously show up one day as I thought it would. Some of you might now be thinking “that’s a given if you read up on it”, but not every mom does! I was one of them and with my first child, I had no idea whatsoever what to expect!

The teething eruption generally happens in the following order. It is just a general timeline sourced from American Dental Association that is in no way set in stone as every child is different.

Teething diagram with typical ages

WHEN DO BABIES START TEETHING

The usual age for a baby to get her or his first tooth is six months. The age of 4 months is early and on the other end of the scale, there are children who got first tooth at 15 months! If your baby is on the later side do not take it as an indication that there is a problem with the overall development of the child.

Around 3 months of age, parents tend to mistake a baby’s drooling and chewing on a fist as the first sign of teething. These are just typical actions for babies at this age. Not necessarily signs that the first tooth is coming in.

Is it normal that my baby doesn’t have teeth yet?

Please consult with your child’s doctor in case your baby’s first tooth hasn’t come in by the 12 months mark. Certain tests are to be performed to rule out medical problems. X-rays will be done to make sure teeth are in place underneath the baby’s gums. Generally, first dental check-up should happen by first birthday – Regardless of when your baby’s teething process starts.

My daughter was one of the late teethers. She started the teething process around 6 months of age. Finally, her first tooth cut through just three weeks shy of her first birthday. I was so ecstatic because she had her 1st tooth showing in her 1st birthday photos!

When she was 18 months she has had already 8 teeth so far with her first set of molars cutting through. The whole teething process is not easy- especially the molars are tough. My nights were spent waking up every two hours to nurse her like a newborn. Also, she was always to throw random tantrums.

Before I had her, I honestly thought that this whole teething business was just a very convenient way for parents to excuse their children’s behavior. Oh boy, how wrong I was…

Around 6 months, my daughter would suddenly start wailing for seemingly no reason. It took a lot of effort, but I was always able to calm her.

When she was around 9 months old, she began to have colossal outbursts of screaming and crying. She was so short-tempered and unhappy. It was then I realized that teething is not just an excuse. It was just so REAL!

She turned into a teething monster! She was a drooling machine. She was constantly trying to get an anything around to chew on – especially my fingers! I discovered that cold things were a huge relief for her. I tried numerous teething treats and what worked best was: frozen fruit popsicles and silicone teethers.

BE PREPARED: TEETHING SYMPTOMS

The process of a child’s teeth growing through is a perfectly normal part of your baby’s development.

The usual symptoms of teething (although in the beginning, it may be misleading) associated with teething include:

Drooling – This is one of the first signs and usually starts around 3-6 months. You will see lots of drool coming out of the baby’s mouth.

Biting – Baby puts fingers and fists in the mouth. She tries to bite and chew on anything in sight.

Gum rubbing – Baby is rubbing her gums with hand or various items. It eases her discomfort.

Lack of sleep – baby is waking up crying or just moving around in the sleep in as a result of discomfort. The normal sleep routine is disrupted thanks to teething including the difficulty of getting to sleep. Baby is inevitably cranky because of the pain and lack of sleep.

Facial Rash – The excess drool irritates the sensitive skin around the mouth.

Food Aversions – Depending on whether the baby has started solids or not, you might notice they don’t have much of an appetite or don’t want to eat things they previously liked. Also, most nursing babies would prefer to nurse which is comforting or prefer to eat food items that help soothe their gums.

Other baby teething symptoms might include food aversion, fever, diarrhea (often with accompanying diaper rash) or ear pain.

REMEDIES THAT WILL HELP YOU SOOTHE YOUR TEETHING BABY

Here’s my top list of teething solutions that have always saved our day. I recommend having several of these things ready on hand because you never know when teething pain (and subsequent bad mood or tantrum) will strike. I’ve tested them all on both my babies. The results were pretty much similar with each child.

There are exceptions to the rule, however. If your mama instinct is telling you that something isn’t right – go see your doctor!

Here are a number of tried-and-tested solutions and remedies. See which ones work for you and your baby:

GIVE YOUR BABY SOMETHING COLD TO CHEW ON

Give baby cold or frozen slices of banana, mango, cucumber, watermelon, and so on to munch on. When our babies were getting their very first teeth, we gave them mesh baby feeders with cold or frozen fruit in them. There are so many different kinds on the market these days – next time I might get one with a cap.

Mesh food feeders

But what do you put into the teething mesh feeder? Banana is especially beneficial, as it also helps to reduce diarrhea, which is a typical side effect when the baby is teething.

There are tons of other options, however. You can try a few of them until you find what works out best for your baby. Great foods for putting in a teething feeder include:

pureed melon

raw apple or pear

frozen blueberries or strawberries

frozen peaches or nectarines

pieces raw carrot (fresh or frozen)

crushed ice or frozen breast milk

Frozen popsicle. The choice is wide: breast milk, water or herbal tea placed in a little popsicle and left in the freezer until solid.

You can also make fruit popsicles. Freeze your baby’s favourite fruit puree alone or mix it with yogurt.

The ancient trick – using a cold item and pressure to relieve baby’s hurting gums is still a brilliant cure. You can use many safe objects that can be frozen. When the baby chews on them and the cold helps to numb the affected area. The pressure is relaxing for irritated gums.

Teething popsicles

For example, try the washcloth trick. Dip a piece of clean fabric in water or chamomile tea and put it in the freezer for a couple of hours. Chamomile tea has the added bonus of helping to soothe and relax baby.

Have baby wear an amber teething necklace. The real amber is considered a natural painkiller. It is a great alternative to over-the-counter medicines. How it works? When worn on the skin, baby’s body heat triggers the Baltic amber to release an oil containing succinic acid. Many parents swear by its anti-inflammatory qualities. Yes, the scientific evidence is lacking for now … but there are just too many encouraging stories to ignore the helpfulness of Baltic amber.

Genuine Baltic Amber is known to contain succinic acid. Succinic acid is essentially a natural analgesic (painkiller). This means that the genuine Baltic beads act as a natural alternative to relieve teething pain in babies thanks to its anti-inflammatory properties.

Tip: Be sure to remove the necklace from the neck before your baby goes to sleep. You can double wrap it around a wrist or ankle instead. Also, do your research before you buy – to be sure that you get a real one. There are many fakes on the market. Buy from a reputable shop and always read the reviews.

WOODEN AND SILICONE TEETHERS

Something to chew on is usually all your baby really needs to get through the pain of teething. I don’t know what it is about the wooden objects, but my second baby is drawn to them. He loved his wooden building blocks. Later we actually found some great wooden teethers and chew rings. One of the all-time favourites was proven this wooden kangaroo teether. It is made of unfinished wood. When shopping for one, please make sure that it meets the health standards. You certainly don’t want any harmful chemicals around your baby.

Wooden kangaroo teether

There are lots of options for silicone teething toys that are also safe and non-toxic. These teethers are a great way to stop the finger chewing and excessive drooling. It seems the silicone is the perfect material – it is soft but durable at the same time. We started trying different teething options, hoping to avoid a finger sucking habit and to provide much needed teething relief.

We tried the famous Sophie the Giraffe, but for one reason or another, my babies’ interest in it fizzled out rather quickly. Lucky there are so many teething toys out there, it wasn’t hard to find a few good replacements that are still being drooled on – even after 6 months of use. These are our favorites:

Silicone teething unicorns

I wish I had these two with my first baby. The silicone teething mitten and the bandana bib.

Silicone teething mitten

The bandanna bib with a silicone tip.

TEETHING NECKLACE FOR MOM

This is another great option. These necklaces are made of silicone and are great for baby to use while sitting in mom’s lap or in a baby carrier. They also act as something to fiddle with for baby while she nurses, which is quite the relief when you have a fiddle-happy baby!

Teething necklace for Mom

HERBAL REMEDIES FOR TEETHING

Herbal remedies are here since hundreds of years ago. They help to ease baby’s teething pain and heaps of other illnesses. Here are some of them:

Chamomile – The most popular remedy for teething ailments. It relaxes the gums and soothes irritability.

Rosehip – Full of antioxidants and vitamin C. Rosehip tea is also the immune-system booster. In addition, rosehip contains anti-inflammatory properties.

Catnip – Calm moody babies and help them rest.

Clove – Clove is a natural anaesthetic. It works great to relieve pain (similar effects as benzocaine).

Any of these herbs can be made into a tea, which can be used to dampen wash clothes before freezing. You can also give the tea to baby as a beverage, or rub it directly on the gums. To make a tea, boil water and steep 1 tsp of herbs in 10 oz, of water for 6–7 minutes.

You can also make an herbal infusion that can be rubbed directly onto the gums. In a small saucepan, place your herbs and cover with olive oil. Simmer on low for 4–6 hours. Strain and store in the refrigerator. Dab some oil onto baby’s gums as needed.

TEETHING GEL

I’m also wary of using teething gels because they contain things like Vaseline, alcohol, and Benzocaine. In general, not exactly the things I like to put in my baby’s mouth. But if all else fails, I like having this joker up my sleeve.

BONUS: BABIES LOVE A CLEAN FINGER TO CHEW ON. This is probably the oldest method to ease the discomfort of your baby. Give your thumb to your baby if you have no other mean to soothe her. The pressure of the gums on your finger helps relieve the pain of the tooth through the gum. It is also a great way to bond with your baby.

The post Teething And Your Baby: Symptoms And Remedies appeared first on Mamma Health.

from Mamma Health https://mammahealth.com/teething-baby-symptoms-remedies/

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