#whats funny about this is in my sport youre not allowed to swear at all

[insidious-apple]

by far the funniest part about the stanley cup playoffs is that the players get so fucking riled up that they have to mute the mics around the rink so you can't hear them swearing at each other on national television

[bunni-v1]

My request is for riddle x reader where the reader is a very skilled equestrian

Riddle and His Equestrian Partner 

TW: My little pony reference; swearing

Info: Riddle x Reader; Horses; Idk shit about horses

🍓This low-key turned into a whole short story in several parts before I remembered these were head cannons and forcefully split it up lol. It’s not too long, because little concepts like this aren’t exactly the easiest to write a multi-page story about, but I try my best. I kinda of just went off on my own though, so I hope this is what you wanted lol. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it, and sorry about the whole waiting thing only for a mini piece like this.

Riddle

-Ah! Riddle Rosehearts, we meet again.

-Riddle is a proud man. He’s multi-talented, incredibly hardworking, intelligent, and not so much kind, but it's not his fault his mother shoved a stick up his pompous ass.

-He takes great enjoyment in being the best at the things he does, but he fully accepts that… maybe… possibly he won’t always be at the top of the top.

-He does try, though. Very hard, because if he doesn’t his mother will be very cross with him.

-Something he takes greatest pride in is his talent in horseback riding. He’s a very talented equestrian, and he adores his horses. It’s one of the very few hobbies he was pushed into that he genuinely loves.

-He loves it so much that, when he gets accepted to attend NRC, he willingly and excitedly signs up for the equestrian club. In fact — other than his mother forcing the school down his throat — NRC’s equestrian club was one of the main draws of the school to him.

-This is where he meets you, his freshman year of college. 

-He walks into the stables, the smell of hay, feed, and mud (and horse shit) filling him with nothing but delight. 

-Students are allowed to bring their own horses from home if they’d like, but the school provides a handful of wonderful purebreds for those new to the sport or not willing to transport their own to campus.

-Riddle decided against bringing his old girl the first semester, even though she would be more reliable. He wanted a change, something new and exciting. He was good with horses, so he was sure whichever one he was given would be easy enough to work with and train how he liked. 

-While he was looking at the different horses, one in particular caught his eye. A beautiful Appaloosa with a shiny clean coat and pretty braided hair.

-It was love at first sight for him. This was his horse, gaping at it with an open mouth, he looked rather stupid. 

-At least, that’s what you thought at least. Stupid and endearing staring at your big baby of a horse like she was the most perfect creature on earth.

-To be fair, she was really pretty, just not… not pretty enough for this reaction, you think.

-“Hey, you okay?” You ask.

“Ah- Uhm, yes. Just… appreciating the horse.”

-Riddle is bright red trying to explain why he felt so… inspired by your horse. 

-Surprisingly, however, it goes well, as you very enthusiastically tell him all about Rainbow Dash, “Dashie”, the third. 

-You’re his first friend on campus! (Other than Trey).

-However, your name sounds very familiar, and he can’t quite get it out of his head after your first meeting.

-So… he looks you up, and he sees your insanely impressive track record. First-place medals, championship trophies, the whole shebang. You’re far more talented than him, and it almost makes him jealous he wasn’t so incredibly impressed.

-Truly Night Raven College has the most impressive students attending within its walls.

-He would initiate some sort of rivalry, but you’re just so… cool. So relaxed, and confident about your skills. He can’t help but admire you more than he wishes he were you.

-The two of you have very different schedules, so you hardly get to see each other outside of club meetings, your interactions are strictly horse-related.

-However, you hear about his violent temper and you find it kind of funny. 

-“You’re like an untrained horse, you need a good rider to reel you in.” You always tease with a wink whenever he gets particularly angry at a match or during practice.

-To everyone’s surprise, he doesn’t blow up at you, just flustered and grumbles like a toddler being scolded by his parent.

-In fact, you’re the only person he really doesn’t blow up at. Your mutual love for horses and hard work in classes make you a nearly unstoppable duo.

-When he gets frustrated training his new horse from the school, you’re there to help cool him down and find a productive way to retrain the horse. When he doesn’t perform well in a match or compares himself to you and your records, you remind him of how different your training was compared to his.

-You two become incredibly close through all of this.

-So it’s no surprise when you both decide to start meeting up outside of class to study together. Then you start meeting up to just hang out in his dorm room. Then you start treating him to sweet treats off campus. Then you start showing up to Heartslabyul’s tea parties.

-It was honestly only a matter of time before the two of you decided to make things official, and when you do, it’s incredibly easy!

-You both plan horse riding dates with each other and spend the majority of your time together talking about training techniques or studying for your upcoming tests.

-Him bringing you home to meet his horse was honestly a bigger deal than meeting his mother.

-He was afraid you wouldn’t find him as beautiful since you own Dashie, but you were absolutely in love with his old girl. She seemed to like you too, given she didn’t try to buck you off the second you claimed onto her back.

-He’s incredibly supportive of you at your own matches and your matches alongside him. 

-Now he’s proud of not only his skills, but you and yours as well, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n ex), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

°•More under cut•°

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

Trops:

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk!

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

Whats wrong with me? Im the schools most popular girl. Known for being pretty, smart, funny, outgoing, always going to parties, for sports (volleyball), having the perfect boyfriend, and being perfect overall. But now you are known for a fight with Heeseung's ex. Hwang Yeji. The SECOND most perfect girl in town. But now shes the first all because of a fight? Heres how it started.

You went to jakes party even tho you werent gonna and werent allowed to. Heeseung was there. You were there. And Yeji was there. The trio that was known for DRAMA in the past year. And oh dear, it was because of Yeji. Last year you got in a fight with her and it was not that bad but oh boy did you not know she was coming for you again. Yeji walks up to you and Heeseung and touches his arm rubbing his biceps. "Hee i missed you!" She says in the most annoying tone you swear you have ever heard in your 20 years of life. "Oh, uhm can you like not touch me?" Heeseung says clearly uncomfortable. "But baby our love language is Physical Touch." She says still touching his biceps. "Yeah sure. But who is we? And not with you it's not." Heeseung replies back trying to get her off him. At that point you were pissed off and almost wanted to punch her. But perfect you not wanting to ruin your reputation you didn't and because you were simply too nice. Annoyed enough you left to see if your friends were there. (even tho they said they wouldn't be there they were?)

When you went to your friends you guys were having THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. I mean like, getting drunk without a worry, dancing around, and just talking having fun in general. Soon you hear "YEJI WHAT THE FUCK!" From Heeseung's side of the room. It was Yeji. Again. But this time she was with Heeseung, touching his abs and chest. You look down to see his shirt was ripped off with nail marks on it. You looked at Yeji's nails. Long, almond shaped nails. Before beating the shit out of Yeji you were told to wait for Yunjin to pull out her camera... You in fact DID NOT wait. You punch her in the stomach repeatedly. Yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Until Yeji kicks your legs first to make you weak not being able to walk. Leaving you injured with Heeseung left shock she left the party.

You check online and there were MULTIPLE videos about the fight. But they werent praising you this time. It was all "Yeji is so strong to a girl who arm curls 80 pounds." "Haha! Im so mad i missed the fight." "Losing to the SECOND most popular? Nah she IS the most popular." Your friends try to cheer you up by taking you to a dog cafe.

"Whats wrong with me!" you ask while rubbing your legs from pain. "Ynnie, its not your fault." Wonyoung replies. "Yeah, really yn. Yeji is a fucking pain in the ass. She deserved that fucking kick in the ass." Karina adds on. "Wait like YEJI YEJI. Like Hwang Yeji? My brothers ex?" Yunah also adds. "I dont wanna talk about it." You say while eating.

< Previous - Masterlist - Next >

AN: Ahhh! Im back. (You did NOT miss me lol) A filler but somehow a lil bit long. Yet again my school is falling apart :/ (whats new tho?) And ive been playing in my schools volleyball league so i have NO free time whatsoever. But I hope your enjoying my "lil" ff series!

[imtooscaredforthis]

Tethered

Part III- Chapter 29: Weird

Mentions of: Anxiety, Discussion of substance use, smoking, and Frank being delulu

A/N: Just got to college and my classes started!! I also am doing a fall sport so I’m busy ash atm…

Tags: @prettycutebunny @dead-bxxxtch-walking @mama-miya @vandeaad @moonshineinasippycup

Lately, things have been different. Jake was acting strange ever since that trial. You tried to talk to him, not just about the trial, but about things in general, and he’d hardly respond. If he did, it would only be one or two word answers.

You tried to not get too bothered by it, even though it still hurt quite a bit. Instead you spent more of your time hanging with Susie and Joey.

After a while, Joey managed to warm up to you. He was fun to be around. He was competitive and funny, and watching him and Susie banter was quite interesting. You were also pretty sure Susie had a bit of a crush on him.

One afternoon, the three of you were just playing games like you usually did, when Frank came. After what happened with Jake…you couldn’t help but wonder what he did. He made you uncomfortable. Not to mention, whenever he and/or Julie were around, you weren’t allowed to be there.

“Uh, well, I’ll see you guys later.” You murmured nervously, practically shooting up to your feet, preparing to bolt.

“Wait.” Frank stopped you. “You can stay.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.” You replied. Your eyes darted to Susie and Joey, trying to get a read on their expressions. They seemed just as tense as you were.

“It’s fine. Stay.” Was all he said, so you settled back on the couch. It was awkward and quiet for a bit, before Susie spoke. “Oh my god, I’m really sorry about this, but I have to go to a trial.”

“Me too, actually.” Joey added. You looked at them in shock. No. No way this was happening. You could not do this alone.

“Are you sure you can’t just ignore it or something?” You couldn’t help but ask. They both shook their heads.

Susie gave you an apology hug before she left, and you swear if you don’t die, you’ll kill her yourself when she gets back.

Relax. Maybe he just had a bad day that time. He did spare you after all, and he’s being nice by letting you stay. He won’t hurt you…hopefully.

So, the others left, leaving you and Frank alone together.

��

Frank couldn’t believe you were sitting with him. He tried to act casual about it, but he could tell you were freaked out, especially after your last encounter. But he needed you to stay. Maybe if he just talked to you or something, Maybe he can find a way to let this all go.

He could have some closure, like you used to tell him. He didn’t know what he was doing, just that he had to make these feelings go away, and maybe this could be it.

There was just one problem. Your memory. Susie had mentioned you lost it a while back, but maybe you would recognize him. There was something about the way you looked at him when he first saw you again, some sort of feeling of familiarity in your eyes. He hoped you would recognize him, but he was also terrified.

This was a horrible idea, but he didn’t know what else to do.

It had been so much easier to hate you when he didn’t see you. When he had an idea of you in his head of you as that perfect uptight rich bitch in college, all priveleged and apathetic, just like the rest of them. But how could he hate you when he knew that was all a lie? How could he hate you when he had you so close? God, you were beautiful. You always have been, but you’ve grown and matured into..something else. He couldn’t put words into it, really. You just left him in complete awe.

You cleared your throat, snapping him out of his trance. He realized where he was and what he was doing. “So, uh, why do you want me here?”

“Just felt like it.” Frank shrugged, acting aloof. You fidgeted with your fingers, a nervous tic you’ve had since you were young, a tell that would let him know you were uncomfortable. Back then, he would’ve grabbed your hands and told you it was going to be okay. He kind of wanted to do that now, but he knew he couldn’t.

Instead, he slipped his mask off, revealing his face. Maybe if you got a good look, you would remember. You glanced at him a couple of times, before looking away…Nothing? Seriously?

Frustrated, he popped a cigarette between his lips, lighting it. He noticed you staring, and offered you one. You shook your head. There was a slight twitch of your brow. You never liked smokers, or alcoholics, or anyone who abused substances. You were such a goody two shoes, always rambling about how it was unhealthy, and you made him promise not to do it unless it was appropriate. Judging by the way you looked now, he had a feeling the real you was somewhere in there.

He blew smoke into the air above him, sighing. “So, am I just here to watch you smoke or….?”

“Relax, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He told you. Your lips quirked slightly. “I didn’t think you were.”

“Really? Cause you seem pretty nervous to me.” He teased. If he didn’t know any better, he would say you were flustered.

You scoffed in response. “The only reason why I’m nervous is because I don’t know what you want me to stay for. You didn’t seem very happy the last time I was here, and Susie says you’re pretty exclusive with your group.”

“The only reason why I was like that was because you caught me off guard. I didn’t expect you to be here. But now I know, and I want you to stay.” He told you.

“But why? Why are you being so nice to me? I don’t get it.”

“Can’t I just be nice?” He asked, and you grinned, shrugging. “I guess so, yeah.”

“You guess so?” He repeated in mock offense. God he missed talking to you. He missed joking around with you. He wished you could remember him. “What? Do I look mean to you?”

He was staring you in your eyes now, turning to face you, his face mere inches from yours. A shy smile crossed your lips. “Maybe a little. But, you did tear my friend out of the locker and scared the shit out of both of us.”

“Yeah, but he had it coming.” Frank let slip, making you frown. “What? What did he do?”

He tried to take what’s not his.

“I had my reasons.” You went quiet at that, reaching down and fidgeting with the locket around your neck. The locket he had given you all those years ago. The one he found you still wearing when he first saw you in that trial.

“I do want to ask one thing, though. What do you know about-” Before you could finish your sentence, Julie came in through the door, spotting you sitting on the couch beside him. “Frank? What are you doing?”

“You need to go, now.”

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 37

Uh...you can't just change the league rules right before the final. That's something you do between seasons. Yes, I know I need to stop acting like this is real sports

I love that they all immediately turn to their maths expert to tell them how this will impact their game. Luo Ji really is the unsung hero of this drama

I really love their dynamic. I wish we had time for more of this

They're like a little dysfunctional family. Like most of the teams in this drama

That's none of your fucking business, my dude

I knew he was going to bench her. What a dick. Well, that's your loss. She's one of your best players.

So he's told her she's not allowed to play in the final but he's happy for her to lead strategy meetings. Make it make sense.

Personal growth

It's funny because the game is called Glory. Also, wasn't Yang Yang in a drama called You Are My Glory?

I love this. First Chang Xian gave a Ye Xiu fan sign to Ye Xiu's dad and now he's given some of those inflatable noodle things (seriously what are those) to Ye Xiu's on/off boyfriend. Ooh but if Wenqing is there does that mean the other captains are there too? GIVE ME SOME BLUE RAIN HUSBANDS

There's Wang Jiexi. Come on where are they??

THERE THEY ARE! Oh my god are they doing the commentary of the game? Amazing! And look at this Shaotian is running his mouth and Wenzhou is smiling fondly. Business as usual.

Wait, who is Zhou Zekai?

Oh, wait, I think someone on discord told me about him. Is he the one from the book who is ridiculously good looking but doesn't like talking so makes his vice captain do it. We were joking that Zhu Yilong should play him. He's probably a bit old now but back in his Guardian days when he used to give one word answers during interviews :D

I love them

I love him

I swear I won't make the rest of this liveblog about them. But I love them.

I would honestly watch a whole drama of these two bickering

Shaotian: It's nice to see a tactician being taught a thing or two Wenzhou, a tactician: Excuse me?

And, lol, this is my 800th screenshot

Oh is this going to be a thing where they all bring skills from their day jobs to their game? If so I love it!

I'm glad the girlfriends are back together

Shaotian: Stop hiding and fight! This is boring! Other commentator: ...you literally do this all the time

Xiao Shiqin just stood up and wished my son good luck. I'm fine I'm not crying at all

Ahhhh! Yifan's other boyfriend is there too! He has to win!

Do these two have history that I have somehow forgotten? Yifan trapped Xiao Shiqin in an ice trap and Xiao Shiqin looked over and smiled at him like 'well done'.

GDI the fight isn't over and that's the end of the episode.

[worldwright]

Good evening !

Man, I love writing those asks and all, but it takes me away from my fics and then I'm hit full force by my emotions

Anyway, I found a new pair of glasses, the closest I could get to my usual glasses and I hate them, they're not rectangular like mines are it's ugly I hate them I won't wear them I don't care I don't fucking care

I had to talk to the lady and my mom had the great idea to talk about me and now that lady knows my entire medical life. Fuck you. Yeah I'm trans, yes I have facial hair, no I don't take hrt, shut the fuck up shut the fuck up. yeah go ahead and judge me for not doing any kind of sport. yeah go and laugh when i say my body is all broken and doesn't work normally because no one cared when i said i suffer badly

Ngl, sometimes I hate being funny. I can say a lot of things and still laugh because I can't do anything else, because I'm forbidden to just acknowledge me being unwell

I wanted soooo bad to say to the lady that I tried to kill myself. Because she went "oh that's nice to take care of your mental health ! you acknowledge that you needed help !" Oh that would have been hilarious to say "so i tried to kill myself lol" and "my parents are neglecting me so bad that it's killing me lmao" x)

So yeah, fics it is ! And my mom made bread this morning so munching on it :3

Have a wonderful morning my friend !

people always expect that if someone's really suffering, they couldn't possibly smile and laugh. it kills me. like you never know what's going on with someone. you're not allowed to assume. you're not allowed to judge. and I wish to hell that parents would stop treating their kids like some weird dog they have and can joke about in front of them :/ some people just don't live in the real world, I swear

idkkkk if this picture is actually working I tried to rotate it but it just looks cropped weird 😭😭 anyway I went to a different coffee shop today :3 (idk if most of our coffee shops around here count as cafés, they usually only have a few pre-made sandwiches and pastries for food. I think "coffee shop" is probably more accurate)

I know I said I "somehow ended up" going to a club last night, which makes it sound like I got lost on the way home or something lmao, but my coworkers invited me out and I just went sure, fuck it. first time I've been to a place like that, it was pretty cool :3 very overwhelming tho, probably won't be doing it often. also I missed the bus and had to walk all the way home at 1am :///////

planning on just wandering today, I'm gonna head to the arboretum after I finish eating :)))))

hope you find a tasty snack tonight!!!

[kinslayersadvocate]

15 questions, 15 people

Not gonna lie, I love to talk, even when I have nothing to say, so I have to thank @a-very-fond-farewell for tagging me.

Please, tell us more about crab soccer. You can't just throw it at us and leave. I had to google it and it looks so fun! I think it should be tumblr official sport.

×××

are you named after anyone?

Nope

when was the last time you cried?

At Easter. Jesus, I've had a full meltdown that morning. Ugly crying in my pillow for the first time in years. But since then I feel so light.

do you have kids?

No and I doubt I will ever have any… Sometimes I want one but this must be hormones because I would hate that lifestyle.

do you use sarcasm a lot?

Naah, I can't see the appeal. A sarcastic comment can be funny sometimes, but if you use it in excess most people will be on edge around you… I don't like to interact with people who makes me feel silly, so I try to avoid making people feel that way.

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

I don't know how to describe this but is like… The space they ocuppy. The way they move. How they interact with their surrounds, like, if they make a lot of noise, if they are careful handling things… I'm notably bad at noticing/retaining physical characteristics but that soet of thing always pick my attention.

what’s your eye color?

Brown. Unfortunately not the big, sad brown eyes type but I'm still winning.

scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. I'm not even ashamed of it anymore. I hate being scared, but even more I love to see/imagine the many different ways in which characters can find happiness/purpurose/meaning.

any special talents?

No T.T That's not me being modest, I'm average at everything I do and I have few hobbies.

where are you born?

at the riverside.

what are your hobbies?

is "consuming media" a valid answear? I'm trying to change it, I swear. For now I only write, and play chess alone. I won't be including "cooking" because even if I enjoy it, it's still something I need to do.

do you have any pets?

No ;-; I want to, in the future, but I never had pets and I'm not sure if I could take care of one properly. If I had one, it would be a cat or a small dog, because I'm that original. (And I wouldn't be allowed to have a jaguar. Or a tiger.)

what sports do you/have you played?

Bold of you to assume that I ever played sports. I'm too lazy./ I love swimming but I have no access to a pool for now.

how tall are you?

160cm I think?

favourite subject in school?

History!

dream job?

Ok, ok, that's a hard one. My first answar would be an editor — for fiction, especifically. Reading texts all day and helping authors in their creative process? I can't imagine anything better. But what about telling authors that they have to change their beloved creation because it isn't marketable? Doesn't sounds that nice. So is it a dream job if I'm not sure about all the aspects of it?

But the reason I didn't try to pursue it is because very few people read here so it's not a viable career option.

That's also the reason why I'm not going to the other side of the table either. Being an author is the one thing that I have yerned to be for half of my life now (it's more a curse than a dream, tbh) and I will publish a book one day, at least one, but that is something I'll have to do for fun.

There are many other things that I would like to do, cleaning, teaching, etc, but I noticed that they are more "fun things I could do if weren't for shitty people/laughable pay/violence" than "dream jobs".

×××

Tagging is always a little awkward because I don't know if you guys like it, so no pressure to play:

@booklovinghobbit @sweetestapplepie @allergic-to-semen @gayandfullofdismay @backtoyunmeng

For some reason I can't tag anyone else so if you are seeing this post, feel yourself tagged (you likely were) a

[amyfevernight]

What i learned from All Engines Go without actually watching the show (Season 2)

Yep, Season 2 is done, here we go again. Season 1 + Shorts if you wanna read that, here we GOOOOO

Percy Disappears: PERCY DIDN’T LEARN SHIT FROM DAY OF THE DIESELS Shake, Rattle, & Bruno: DIESEL CAN’T UNDERSTAND AUTISM FOR 11 MINUTES STRAIGHT Fast Friends: WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT BEING A SPEED DEMON Ashima's Amazing Arrival: STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING TRY-HARD Tri-and-a-Half-a-Lon: SPORTS. AND ALSO NIA’S TURN TO BE AN ATTENTION WHORE Carly's Magnificent Magnet: TESS, STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN TEENAGER New Mail Engine in Town: PERCY’S TURN TO BE AN ATTENTION WHORE Hot Air Percy: HOW DOES A FUCKING HOT AIR BALLOON SNATCH UP A TRAIN ANYWAY? Carly's Screechy Squeak: JUST GET THE SAND OUT. IT’S NOT THAT HARD. Blackout!: THOMAS IS AN ATTENTION WHORE: REVELATIONS Brand New Track: IT’S JUST A NEW LINE, YOU GUYS Stink Monster: WHIFF IS A DANGEROUS SOCIOPATH, CALL THE POLICE Whiteout!: LITERALLY A COPY-PASTE OF BLACKOUT BUT WITH A WINTER STORM INSTEAD OF THUNDER, SEE ME AFTER CLASS Christmas Mountain: CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME Good as New: Eventually, one day, you have to let go of the things you love- NO SCRATCH THAT BUY OUR TOYS More Than a Pretty Engine: ASHIMA IS THE ONLY SMART TRAIN HERE I SWEAR Snowplow Struttin: THEN WHAT THE FFFFFUCK IS THE SNOWPLOW FOR?! Thomas in Charge: OH GOD DAMNIT NOT THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN Kana Recharges: “LEAVE ME ALONE” MEANS “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” The Big Skunk Funk: SKUNKS ARE JERKS Off the Rails: [INDIANA JONES INTENSIFIES] Diesel’s Dilemma: NO NO NOOOO STICK TO THE STUFF YOU KNOOOOW A Very Percy Valentine's Day: ALL I GOT FROM THIS IS “MY FUCKIN�� GOD, DIESEL IS GAY, GOOD FOR HIM, GOOD FOR HIM” Valentine's Hearts: AH YES, THE PERFECT GIFT, LITERAL DEATH BY ELECTROCUTION Bring it on Beresford: CAN YOU STOP HAVING PISSING CONTESTS FOR FIVE MINUTES What's in a Name?: THEY LITERALLY DON’T EVEN LOOK THE SAME, HOW DO YOU GET THEM CONFUSED? Sheep Shenanigans: DIESEL AND THE DUCKLINGS BUT WITH SHEEP. Tunnel Troubles: JESUS CHRIST YOU GUYS, THE PISSING CONTESTS NEED TO STOP The Case of the Missing Crane: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOSE A CRANE??? Not-So-Secret Mission: TOPHAT HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BREAK ALL OF THE FUCKING LAMP-POSTS??? Speedster Sandy: WHAT. DID I SAY. ABOUT BEING. A FUCKING TRY HARD. For All the Marble: THOMAS IS A DUMBASS, SHOULD’VE FUCKING LISTENED TO BRUNO. Salty’s Sea Shanty: HOLY SHIT SALTY’S BACK AND HE’S SO FUCKING COOL Retrieve the Kraken: BALLOONS. ARE. FUCKING. AWESOME. SALTY IS STILL FUCKING AWESOME TOO, HE DOESN’T AFRAID OF ANYTHING Rocket’s Fall: YOU GOT YOUR CONTINUITY IN MY FUNNY TRAIN SHOW Details? What Details?: TOPHAT’S A DUMBASS, ALSO THOMAS HAS THE MEMORY OF A GOLDFISH Blue Engine Blues: IS THIS AN ALLEGORY FOR DEPRESSION? I FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN ALLEGORY FOR DEPRESSION Hay Fort Frenzy: MOTHERFUCKING TERENCE IS BACK? OH, HE’S A LITTLE SHIT NOW, OKAY. Percy in the Middle: JUST GET GORDON TO REFEREE FFS Bad Luck Boxcar: THIS IS JUST THOMAS’ NOT-SO-LUCKY DAY AGAIN, SEE ME AFTER CLASS. Not-So-Easy Greasy: GREASE I GUESS? It All Adds Up: THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE AWESOME Bruno’s Map Mishap: CAN YOU GUYS LEAVE THIS POOR BOY ALONE Seeking A Safer Sodor: EMILY REALLY SAID NO FUN ALLOWED A Cranky Goodbye: CRANKY IS A MESS WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING HIS FEELINGS? YEAH ME TOO, JOIN THE CLUB Sameroo: IF YOU WANNA BE COOL FOLLOW ONE SIMPLE RULE DON’T MESS WITH THE FLOW NO NOOOOO STICK TO THE STATUS QUO Thomas for a Day: You can’t pretend to be someone you’re not. NOW FORGET THAT LESSON FOR A MINUTE YOU LITTLE SHIT, LOOK, IT’S PERCY BUT BLUE, BUY OUR TOYS. The Super Axle: OH HI TOBY’S BACK- OH HE HAS SELF-WORTH ISSUES The Waiting Game: AT LEAST DO SOMETHING WHILE YOU WAIT?? I DUNNO All Wheels on Track: ENGINES ARE FUCKING USELESS FOR NO REASON HERE Something Broken, Something Blue: Eventually, one day, you have to let go of the things you love. For real this time- NOPE JUST KIDDING BUY OUR FUCKING TOYS HAHA YOU FELL FOR IT AGAIN The Sights of Sodor: MOUNTAINS ARE AWESOME EXCEPT NO THEY AREN’T, FUCK YOURSELF

[ear-worthy]

Taboo Science Podcast: Where No Science Has Gone Before

Have you ever noticed that when TV goes large, podcasting goes small? TV wants to do a nature show? It's a wide-angle view of all animals, usually narrated by David Attenborough. Need a space show? How about something with Neil DeGrasse Tyson about the entire cosmos? 

By contrast, podcasting goes small. It burrows into a topic small in stature but not insignificant. Podcasting has shows about specific dolphin species, an entire podcast about the planet Jupiter, and, instead of a sports show about all sports, how about a podcast about one owner of one basketball team -- James Dolan of the NBA's New York Knicks? Check out Reign Of Error. 

Here is the marketing pitch from Taboo Science: "Taboo Science is a podcast that answers the questions you’re not allowed to ask. It’s hosted by Ashley Hamer, a science writer and podcaster. Every episode dives into a different societal taboo to understand the science that makes it tick, the reasons we don’t talk about it, and the impact that has on society at large. Why don’t we eat people? Why are my swear words different than my parents’? And what makes porn, porn? It’s science class if science class had one of those anonymous question boxes. It’s Taboo Science."

Ashley Hamer is a writer, podcaster, and science communicator in Chicago. She is the creator of Taboo Science and the former host and content lead of the science podcast Curiosity Daily. 

 When Hamer and Corey Gough co-host Curiosity Daily in the pre-COVID days, I thought they had solid hosting chemistry and brought a certain spontaneous wit to the show. The show has gone through several iterations of hosts, in search, I believe, of that special Hamer-Gough sauce. 

Hamer flying solo on Taboo Science is in complete control of the hosting cockpit. She's funny, smart, and a strong interviewer with a flair for the dramatic.

Hamer has interviewed the likes of Sean Carroll, Carl Zimmer, and Alan Alda, written and hosted a number of widely viewed science videos, appeared on several leading science podcasts, and spoken on stages everywhere from C2E2 and New York Comic Con to the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas and meetings of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in Washington, D.C. and Seattle, Washington.

Ashley Hamer is also a professional saxophonist, a Boston-qualified marathon runner, a new mom, and a cat person. Talk about your diversity of skills. I have questions. Can she play the saxophone while running a marathon? Is the cat jealous of the new baby? How does she have time to do a podcast? 

The podcast began in September 2020, and it didn't pull any punches in its first several episodes. Topics included pornography, profanity, cannibalism, penises, and vaginas. I can just sense the uptight people who are organizing bans.

Some of my favorite episodes include the March 25, 2021, one on Marriage with Stephanie Coontz. For those who crow about traditional marriage, you should listen to Coontz talk about the history of marriage as a business transaction instead of a bond created from love. 

A recent episode about Asexuality was a learning experience and fascinating and, of course, I can never pass up an episode on poop with Bryon Nelson. Here, Hamer breaks out internet-sourced euphemisms for poop while Nelson explains how for centuries people used "night soil" (poop) for fertilizer. 

If you, as a listener, are into your science being serious stuff with people with PhDs speaking in solemn tones, Taboo Science is not for you.

But if enjoy a beaker full of fun with your science lesson, and don't mind your poop being referred to you as "butt nuggets," then Taboo Science is for you.  

[immortaljailor]

ahhhhh hi dusty, ty for the tag, i'll do my best 😭😭😭

1. Were you named after anyone?

In english? Yes, but for my legal, non-English name? No

2. Do you have kids?

No, unless you count my younger siblings and juniors...(who...ngl def feel like my kids sometimes 😔😔😔)

3. What sports do you play/have played?

I legitimately was once on my school basketball team. This is funny to anyone who's met me irl. Also, can we count Math Olympiad...

4. Do you use sarcasm?

More than I should 😔

5. First thing you notice about people?

Er...that they exist physically, I suppose lol—after that, yeah, vibes, probably?

6. What is your eye color?

Brown!

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

I'm not really a scary movie fan so I guess I gotta say happy endings? Not that I can't appreciate a downer ending also...

8. Any talents?

I'm amazing at sleeping. I swear, I can sleep anywhere, outside, under a bridge, in a hallway, on a plane. Like, I can lie down, and with a little effort, bam, out like a light. (This may have less to do with any intrinsic skill and more to do with the average amount of sleep I get on a regular basis though 😭)

9. Where were you born?

Third planet from the sun of the Sol System, good ol' Terra hehe

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, doodling...making/doing things with my hands is a big one, so I used to like tinkering with cars, and now I'm into bookbinding haha...

11. Do you have any pets?

Nope, and never have, unless you count plants...I won't lie, I'm generally quite awkward around non-human animals 😭 Spending time with my friends' pets is quite enough for me

12. How tall are you?

164 cm!! 5 ft 4.5 in...that 0.5 is important to me ok 😔

13. Favorite subject in school?

My first year in uni, I got into an argument (friendly) with my flatmate, in which he insisted that "school" only refers to education before university, while I'd always used "school" to refer to any type of education, up to and including post-grad. That is to say, if we're going by his definition of school, then I'd have to say literature and history, and if we're going by my definition of school, I'd have to say...probably more sociology, or sociology-adjacent. The classes I liked the most were pretty much all in the social sciences anyway haha

14. Dream job?

Something which allows me to develop and use my skillset to the best of its ability, while helping people. At the stage I'm at right now, I'm looking less for something long-term/stable, and more for anything that'll provide me with interesting experiences to learn and grow, but I imagine that'll change in the future.

15. When was the last time you cried?

The last time I called my parents...I have a good relationship with them, but it just happens sometimes 😞

Tagging @chucktaylorupset, but absolutely no pressure!!

Thanks for the tag @cameron4818

1. Were you named after anyone?

Yeah, my grandma!

2. Do you have kids?

No lol

3. What sports do you play/have you played?

None 😭

4. Do you use sarcasm

Yea

5. First thing you notice about people?

Hair? Clothing style?

6. What is your eye color?

Brown brown brown

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

A scary movie with a happy ending

8. Any talents?

Avoidance

9. Where were you born?

Somewhere where they teach internet safety 💜

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, watching shows/movies, video games, card games, listening to music

11. Do you have any pets?

Not really but my dad does have a dog and I love her

12. How tall are you?

162cm not giving you feet

13. Favorite subject in school?

Always loved English and history. Now? Psychology and Neurology

14. Dream job?

None 😭

15. When was the last time you cried?

Like two hours ago when I read one of @strangenewwords fics that they actually posted while I was writing this 🤣

Tagging uhhhhh @donsdawn if you wanna

[roosterforme]

Boys Night In | Rooster x Reader

Summary: The boys make Bradley self conscious about you, and you give them a formal dressing down.

Warnings: Fluff and angst and more fluff, swears and adult banter

Length: 2100 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You?

Check my masterlist! Banner by @mak-32

Bradley hated asking you to make yourself scarce for the night, right after you'd moved in with him no less. You didn't seem to mind though, rather you seemed really excited to go out dancing with Phoenix. 

You walked out of the bedroom just as Hangman, Coyote and Bob arrived, and Bradley took a moment to ogle you in your skin tight black dress paired with your beat up high tops. "Jesus, you look hot."

You just chuckled at him. "Even with these shoes? I don't want my feet to hurt, so I figured, who cares right?"

Bradley just shook his head as he let the guys inside. "Don't even think about talking to any other boys tonight. Phoenix is allowed to, but not you," he joked. 

You laughed and kissed his cheek, greeting everyone as they arrived. Bradley noticed Bob blush as you hugged him briefly, and as many times as he had told Hangman not to look at you, he was still looking at you. Specifically your ass. Bradley was going to need to have another conversation. 

And then he had to listen to Coyote flirting with you as well. "Oh, you're going out dancing? Rooster lets you go out dressed like that? You know, I think I'll skip the beers and poker game and join you instead," he told you, linking your arm through his elbow.

As Fanboy and Payback arrived, the flirtatious banter just escalated. Bradley didn't really mind. He did realize you were objectively very pretty, and you were a good sport about the teasing. Plus, they were really trying to get a rise out of Rooster, not you. So he decided not to react at all.

"Have fun, Baby Girl," he told you, planting a lingering kiss on your lips before you waved and left for the evening. 

Fanboy hooted with laughter. "Oh man, you're so lucky, Rooster."

Bradley just smirked and led everyone to the brand new dining room table to play cards while Hangman pulled a bunch of beers from the fridge. He knew what the other guys must be thinking, but he was happy they never said it out loud.

Until they did.

After a few games of poker and a case and a half of beer, the guys all stood to stretch and have some snacks. "These cookies are amazing," Payback remarked, eating a stack of three of the chocolate chip cookies you had made for them to enjoy. "Did Y/N make them?"

"Mmhmm," Bradley confirmed while he finished his beer. "She bakes and cooks all the time. I've gained so much weight in the last three months, it's ridiculous," he said, patting his still fairly muscular abdomen. 

Hangman just shook his head. "I still can't believe you got her to move in with you, man. Nice work."

"You still sore she turned you down?" Bradley asked with a grin.

"Nah. She's better off with you. Don't get me wrong, she's hot, but I would have probably just tried to hit it and move on, if I'm being honest," Hangman told him. The look in Bradley's eyes must have spurred him on to add, "Which is why it's great that you and she are together, man! She's awesome! Everyone likes her a lot!"

Bob, who was clearly drunk, decided to chime in next. “I’m just surprised you bought the house and had her move in this quickly, Rooster. Usually you’re quick to get a girl to leave after she's been in your bed once."

All five guys exploded in laughter around Rooster. Fuck, he knew he had a reputation, but he wasn't like that anymore. At all. There was only you now.

"Very funny," he muttered, setting down his fresh beer. He had a tight feeling in his stomach that was making him uncomfortable. If this is how his friends felt about him, that was pretty telling. God, was it embarrassing for you to be with him? He couldn't stand that thought in his head, but he could tell it was already taking up residence there. 

"I can't believe she settled for you, bro. But good on you," Coyote told him.

"I never thought we would see the day when you would retire from sleeping around," said Fanboy, shaking his head. "But she's a real sweetheart, so you made a good choice. She's definitely a dime. It's honestly crazy how you pulled this off." Fanboy clapped him on the back, but Bradley just stood there for a few extra beats as everyone else returned to the poker table. 

------------------------------------

Even with the sneakers on, your feet were aching when you arrived home just after midnight. Phoenix had you dancing to every single song the DJ played, and you'd had so much fun with her. 

As you stepped onto the porch, you could hear the boys inside. It sounded like a mini frat party was happening. You unlocked the door and let yourself in, only to find Coyote was already passed out on the couch. Bob was for some reason sitting on the kitchen floor holding a plate of cookies. Rooster, Hangman, Payback and Fanboy were playing a video game really loudly. Every single one of them looked slightly drunk. 

"Having fun?" you asked the room at large.

A chorus of yeses greeted your ears, and Rooster immediately dropped his game controller to give you a hug and sloppy kiss on your cheek.

"Rooster! We're playing melee, dude!" complained Fanboy, slurring his words a bit. "We're gonna lose if you don't come back!"

"Play three player for a minute," Bradley told them as he followed you through the living room like a puppy. He watched you stop to pat Bob gently on the head, earning you a look of adoration from the WSO.

"You okay, Bob? Need anything?" you asked him sweetly.

"No, Y/N, I'm fine," Bob told you, his eyes a little glassy. "Rooster was right about you, ya know?"

You crouched down next to Bob to hear him better over the noise the others were making. "Oh yeah? Rooster was right about what?"

You turned to look up at your boyfriend. He'd clearly overindulged in drinking tonight, and he had a miserable, sad look on his face. He was alternating between reaching his hands out toward you and then tucking them into his jeans pockets.

"He stopped sleeping with anything with tits when he met you. Good decision," Bob slurred, taking your hand in his and kissing it.

"Oh," was all you managed to say as you withdrew your hand and stood to face Bradley. "That was a strange thing to say," you remarked, trying to lighten the tense look on Bradley's face. 

Bradley swayed a bit on his feet and just grunted in response. When you reached for him, he started walking toward your bedroom.

"What's wrong, Roo?" you asked, following him in.

He looked dejected, running his hand up and down the back of his neck. "Is it embarrassing for you? Being with me?" 

"Bradley? What are you talking about?" you asked, reaching for his hand. He wouldn't look you in the eye, no matter what you did. 

"I'm talking about us," he murmured, staring at the wall above your head. 

You pulled on his hands until he finally met your eyes. "I don't understand what you mean, Bradley."

"I need to know if I embarrass you. Apparently I'm just a retired manwhore, Y/N. That's how they all see me. That's how everybody sees me."

Your eyes went wide, gaping at him as you searched his face. "Roo, nobody sees you that way!" you told him, pulling him down to sit on the foot of the bed next to you. 

"The guys all do. They are genuinely shocked you're with me."

You cracked your knuckles and pulled your shoes off, tossing them into the corner. "They told you that tonight? They literally called you a 'retired manwhore'?"

Bradley just looked at you, misery on his face. "You're too good for me, Sweetheart. You could do a lot better than dating me."

You pushed his hair off of his forehead and caressed his cheek, and Bradley leaned into your touch. "Oh, Roo," you whispered before kissing his lips softly. "Nobody gets to talk to you like that when I'm around." You placed one more gentle kiss on the tip of his nose and pulled him to his feet. 

Once you had dragged him back into the living room, you clapped your hands loudly, waking up Coyote and making Bob jump to attention, cookies flying everywhere. Then you reached behind the TV and unplugged it forcefully from the wall.

"Listen up, assholes!" All six men just stared at you, thoroughly confused and quite drunk. "On your feet!" 

You watched as all six of these large men lined up silently in front of you, expressions of concern and fear on their faces. 

"Now, one or more of you made my boyfriend feel bad about himself, and that's not going to work for me. Understand?" You lectured loudly, pacing back and forth and making eye contact with each of them in turn. When you reached Bradley, you gave him a little peck on the cheek before continuing back down the line.

"You don't get to call Rooster names or make fun of him. Didn't you learn that in elementary school? It's not nice to do that to people. And sadly for you, now I'm in a not nice mood."

Bob audibly gulped. Hangman pressed his lips together in a tight line. Fanboy looked like he was going to wet himself. 

"It doesn’t matter who or what he used to do. He’s with me now, you absolute dickwads! Would any of you like to come forward and tell me to my face that you think I'm a joke? That you think I make poor decisions? That you think I settled for Rooster?"

They all stood silently in their lineup, staring straight ahead. None of them moved except for Bradley, who turned to face you with a look of absolute devotion on his face. You winked at him before you continued.

"No? I didn't think so. Furthermore, for all you know, I could have fucked a million other guys before Bradley. But the only thing you know for sure is that you think I'm pretty, and that I've never fucked any of you. And I never will. Except for you, Roo."

Bradley was smiling now.

"You all have exactly one minute to apologize sincerely to Bradley and then to me, or I will kick you out of my house and you'll never be invited back. And it better sound sincere, or I'm telling Penny that you insinuated that I settled for Rooster. I'll have her ring that bell every time you're at the Hard Deck, and I'll invite all of my friends to drink on your tabs. One minute starts right now." You crossed your arms and watched as they jumped into action.

Each man apologized in turn to Bradley and then to you with looks of real remorse on their faces. Fanboy looked like he might cry as he told you, "I didn't mean what I said to Rooster. And I'm sorry I upset you. I love the two of you together."

Bob was still wiping cookie crumbs off of his shirt as he gave you a gentle hug. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I should have never said what I did. I'm embarrassed, and I'll never do it again."

Payback looked at the floor as he apologized profusely. "You're right. It wasn't funny. Rooster and you are lucky to have each other."

Hangman half smiled at you and nodded. "Angel, you're perfect for him. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset either of you."

Coyote just said, "I'm very sorry, ma'am."

You uncrossed your arms. "Apologies accepted. Now you are welcome to crash here since you're all sloppy drunk. But I'm not going to get up and make you waffles in the morning like I originally planned." The looks of devastation on their faces were very satisfying as you continued. "I know you are all better than this, and I expect you to be better in the future. Now I'm taking this one and going to sleep," you said firmly, taking Bradley's hand in yours and heading to bed. 

"And don't you ever doubt that I want to be with you," you told Bradley. "I love you, Roo."

The next morning, you woke up early and made french press coffee and a stack of heart shaped pancakes just for Bradley's hangover. You tossed some granola bars and bottles of water at the rest of the guys. They moped as they inhaled the delicious smell of pancakes cooking, but they were nonetheless on top-notch behavior for you from that day forward. 

--------------------------------

Thanks for reading!!! This might be my new favorite B and BG moment!

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[haetkeeper]

handle bars

biker!lee haechan/donghyuck x fem!reader

word count 2k

fluff—reader is not a fan of daredevil activity, angst—mention of death, smut/filth, established relationship, soft dom!hc, potentially public sex, unprotected sex (non- disclosed but most of my works include reader on birth control), swearing/filthy language, oral—fem receiving, squirting, cum eating, hc is a little sadistic.

when an excursion with your motorcyclist boyfriend takes a reckless turn, he has to find a way to make it up to you, and fast.

———★———★———★———★———★———

donghyuck didn’t always have this hobby, not until his friends coerced him into it. the muscular one jeno was first to upgrade from his regular sport bicycle to something faster. something he can rev the engine of, and something that is much less embarrassing to take to all of the frat parties.

once jaemin and mark followed his lead, donghyuck didn’t really have a choice but to join them. and now it’s every week that the four of them show up to school like a motorcycle gang, stalked by the hungry eyes of every student on campus. guys ask where they got their rides, and girls ask if they can take them for a ride.

but you were with donghyuck before he picked up his sexy new ride, and you’re the only one allowed on it with him.

like now

the frat party was dying down, the turnout wasn’t as plentiful as they suspected, and the drinks not very strong. so donghyuck suggested that the two of you get out of there, and find some place quiet.

you grip his torso tightly as he speeds up the college town street, all the way up the cul-de-sac where it ends. a wooded area on a cliffy park-side where you can watch the sun setting over the city.

once you reach the top of the hill, and donghyuck slows down his vehicle, you nearly step off of it; expecting to stand here and enjoy the view with him.

but he doesn’t stop. no, with a “hold on babygirl”, he braces himself in your arms before zooming down the hillside. through the winding roads, going nearly vertical down the cliff, the two of you dangerously descending to the city below.

your hair blows wildly around your head, and the adrenaline grasps ahold of your breath in your throat, choking you with fear, and tensing your body in an anxious freeze.

donghyuck whoops and hollers with joy as his motorcycle roars, loving the way his body is reacting to the experience, perfectly opposite from yours.

he pops a wheelie and you cry out, gripping onto his tummy for dear life, feeling the way that gravity wants you to slip off of the seat and onto the cold pavement.

tears well up in your eyes, and donghyuck laughs loudly, returning both wheels to the ground and halting to a stop when the two of you reach the urban streets.

you’re pissed.

without a word, you get off the the bike and stomp away from him, toward the nearest building.

“gah that was amazing, such a rush!” donghyuck beams, opening the shutter of his helmet and suddenly realizing that you’re no longer on the back of his bike, “woah, woah! where are you going angel?” he turns the engine on again, rolling up to your side where you stomp down the sidewalk.

“ha, angel. that’s funny.” you sarcastically sneer, lacing each word with venom.

“what’s funny?” he asks, his voice now higher in pitch as he sees that you’re upset.

“it’s funny considering you could’ve just fucking killed me.” you don’t look at him.

he huffs out an awkward laugh, still slightly confused by your words as he rides alongside you, stopping abruptly when you spin to face him. your eyebrows are furrowed and eyes once again welled with tears, his heart sinks as he turns off his engine.

“you said you’d never do anything dangerous while riding,” you shove his shoulder slightly, and his lip quivers from beneath his helmet. “let alone with me on the fucking bike!” a tear falls.

he gets off of the bike and steps closely to you, gripping the base of your neck when he pulls you in for an embrace. just as he’s about to mumble an apology, you once again push him, this time out of the hug. “do you know how many people fucking die while riding these things hyuck?”

and all donghyuck can do is feel his own heart break in his chest. imagining if he ever went for a ride, and never came back home to you; it’s devastating. he doesn’t even want to think about how you’d feel, yet he’s getting a real taste of it now, your tears fall because of him, and its like bleach on his tongue.

you gulp as he doesn’t say a word, only hoping your words are resonating inside of his genius-like mind that you adore so much. “I’m going to walk home from here, just be careful on your way back please.” you solemnly tell him, before turning away completely.

cutting through the nearest alleyway will get you onto the street that takes you home, so you spin on your heels and enter it with a heavy heart. you hear the motorcycle engine cough to life from behind you, and soon enough donghyuck is beside you once again, this time with a firm grip on your wrist.

he pulls you into his lap, so that your back is against the handlebars, and hips sitting heavily over his own. he pulls the large helmet over his head, revealing a mess of wavy black hair, damp with sweat where it curls over his forehead. he looks beautiful.

“I’m so sorry baby.” he pulls your chin down to him in preparation for liplock, and kisses you softly. your hands rest at the back of his neck, tangling in the dark hair as your lips passionately move against one another. he deepens it with a cock of his head, he feels needy against your mouth, and he tastes like his fruit flavored chapstick.

when you pull away to take a breath, he takes the helmet in his hands and puts it over your head, lifting the screen so the two of you can continue to make eye contact. he needs you to hear these next words in order to feel his sincerity within them.

“I should’ve never done something so dangerous,” his round eyes look into yours, both filled with stars from the evening lights, “not alone, not with you on the bike, not ever.”

and you nod your head at his words as he sterns them to you. “I’d never do anything to purposely put you in danger, I love you so much, do you understand that?” and you nod your head again, another tear slipping out from your eye, this time from his generosity rather than your sadness.

when you don’t respond with words, he tightens his grip on your hips and pulls you closer to his body, if it were even possible, so he can once again embrace you with a hug.

“will you let me make it up to you?” he whispers ever so softly over the skin of your neck, peppering kisses onto it in-between the words.

you moan in response, slowly grinding your core over him where it already sits on his crotch. “hmm?” he hums, gripping your ass where it comes into contact with his hard-on. “use your words angel.”

he thrusts up at your hips where they move over him, and you moan again, this time in a “yes, yes please make it up to me.” he’s pleased with your answer, obeying his words so sweetly like a good girl. “yeah? gonna let me fuck you on my bike, hm?” he throatily hums once more.

his words shoot electricity straight to your core where you rub it harshly on his bulge, the feeling pleasurable enough that you’re just a minute away from your high, right here and now, even with the both of you still clothed against one another.

“let’s get these off baby.” donghyuck releases his attack on your neck to say, tapping at the material on your hips. you shimmy out of your bottoms and donghyuck bites his lip at the sight of you wearing his favorite panties. “those too.” he lifts you off of both his lap and the motorcycle.

“hyuck, here?!” you ask, looking back and forth through both sides of the alleyway. “mhm”, donghyuck follows your lead to his feet, before gripping at the panties and pulling them all the way down and into his pocket.

you step out of them obediently and he places you back onto the bike, scoffing at the sight. you sit sideways on the motorcycle, one hand on the handle bars and the other gripping the back wheel for stability. your bare pussy, so wet and pink, drips onto his leather seat, all while you’re wearing his helmet on your head, he could snap a picture now and cum to it for weeks on end.

so he does. whipping out his phone, your cheeks blush to a bright red when donghyuck clicks a picture of you on his bike, totally bare from the waist down, and posing for the camera like his own personal whore.

after stuffing the phone back into his pocket, he kneels onto the pavement and dives nose first into your core, pointing his tongue out as slim as it can go, pulsating it in and out of your hole. you cry out in pleasure, instinctively lifting one leg around his head, and the other over the handlebars.

“fucking love this pussy.” he moans, his lips pressing over your folds as he attacks the center, before pulling out and fattening his muscle against your sex. his tongue, so thick and warm, glides up your wetness, and he groans at the taste, sucking onto your clit with precision.

your high is becoming you, quickly rising with each breath in your chest. one hand finds it’s way into donghyuck’s hair, and he moans in ecstasy when you tug onto the strands, the vibrations in his pretty voice sending you over the edge, and flying toward your climax.

“I’m cumming hyuck!” it surprises the both of you when liquid pulses out of your pussy, splashing in individual streams with each shock of pleasure. “oh fuck yeah, that’s it baby!” donghyuck nearly cums on the spot as he attempts to catch the liquid, latching onto your clit and tonguing at your hole with thirst for the juices.

licking and sucking until the liquid stops, donghyuck looks up at you with hooded eyes, exhausted from his work, yet still the horniest he’s ever been in his life. his lips and chin are covered in your wetness, similarly to the motorcycle seat, when he stands to his feet, unable to wait any longer.

his stubborn belt clangs to the pavement and his pants swiftly follow. when you reach out to palm him over his boxers, he bites his lip harshly, and grabs you by the wrist, returning your hand back to the bike for stability,

“you’re,” he steps closer to you so his clothed cock is pressed to your core, wetting his underwear, already damp with his sweat and precum, “going to do that again.”

and you moan at the feeling of the pressure on your abused clit, still sensitive and pulsating from the previous orgasm.

he pulls down his boxers and lets his cock stand tall for a second before gripping it in his palm, and guiding it to your hole. his mushroom shaped tip, thick and angry red, pokes at you before inserting inside.

your jaw drops as he fills you up, gliding against your gummy walls until his pubic bone makes contact with your own. you squeeze your eyes together, relishing in the burning pain of your bruising cervix, and your tight entrance being stretched by his thick cock.

he sits there for a moment, breathing heavily as your warm walls suck around him, and your eyes finally open, meeting his own. “ready?” he asks, his cock twitching inside of you as he shuffles his figure, planting his feet firmly on the ground.

you assuredly nod, and he pulls back, nearly all the way out. your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel every bit of him, particularly the thick vein on his dick that brushes against your wall. with a snap of his hips, donghyucks back in, flushed chest against your own, and the assault has begun.

both fast paced and roughly, donghyuck beats his cock in and out of you, enjoying the way you cry out helplessly in both pleasure and pain. you’re loud, dangerously loud, bringing attention to the two of you in this alleyway, and he loves it.

he grips onto the helmet, sticking two of his fingers into the underside and tugging you toward him. his hot breath huffs into the open screen where you look up at him—as much as you can through your rolling eyes.

you look so fucked out, and donghyuck once again takes notice of the way you drip over his bike, exposed completely to him as you let him fuck you on his most prized possession. “holy shit baby I’m so close.”

but you still haven’t squirted for him for a second time just yet, so he switches hands, reaching the dominant one down to your clit. his two longest and nimble fingers rub quickly at the nub, sliding easily against your wet and sensitive skin.

you dig your nails into his arm as it washes over you quickly, rendering you unable to give donghyuck a warning that you’re about to cum. with a pornstar-esque moan, you release all over him, yet another squirt of liquid landing on his torso, soiling his shirt.

“just like that, all over my cock baby, fuck!” donghyuck cries out in satisfaction, following the melody of your sinfully high pitched moans as he reaches a climax of his own.

“come on, cum in me baby.” you coax him weakly, and he pushes himself as deeply as he possibly can, pubic hair tickling your clit into another squirt of liquid as his warm cum spurts out of his tip, buried all the way inside you. “good girl.” he groans as the strands of his seed are painting your walls white, and stringily following his tip as he pulls out of you.

you both breathe heavily into one another’s faces, and he takes the helmet off of your head to press a passionate and tongue dominated kiss to your lips.

you’re so empty, yet so full of his remains, donghyuck presses a hand to your bare thigh and watches as his cum spills out of your hole, and onto the motorcycle’s leather seat.

how’s he going to explain that stain to the gang? maybe he’ll just have to pull up the picture in his camera roll and show them.

[charlywrites]

Requested by anon

Request; reader who is max’s half sister and he found out in 2021. After meeting he invited her to a Grand Prix and this is where she meets Carlos. Now I’m thinking like an enemies to lovers where he makes a rude comment when meeting her calling her a gold digger because he thinks max is cheating with her (not knowing that’s his sister). But as enemies to lovers go they eventually end up together

Warnings; mention of j*s at the beginning, swearing, mention of Carlos’ crash. Also Max is really present in this fic.

Note; I put my whole pussy in that fic, enemies to lovers trope? check, idiots in love? check.

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

Growing up, you didn’t know who your father truly was up until your teenage years, only then you learned about the life he had and the reason you would only see him once or twice a year- he was known to be a formula one driver.

It wasn’t something you really cared about if you had to be honest, sure they sport itself seemed to be interesting but you weren’t familiar with it- and you weren’t too interest by sharing a passion with your father.

You had never been close or even truly got along with him, it was clear that he did not care about you, which fueled a hatred for him from a young age. You never understood why he didn’t want you to be a part of his life, especially once you got old enough to understand more serious topics.

It’s only when you recently learnt that your father did not only have a life you weren’t part of, he also had a whole family you never knew about. Actually, you might have never know about them if your stepbrother hadn’t reached out to you first.

At first, when you received a call from an unknown number, you thought it was a weird and messed up prank, but after making a quick research on internet, you learnt that the caller was quite literally your stepbrother who also happened to be the current drivers’ champion.

It was a lot to take in and digest, hence why it took you over a week to answer Max’s text asking if you’d eventually like to meet up- you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to already meet up but in the end, you could let the opportunity to meet your stepbrother.

And just like that, only a bit over two weeks after Max first called you, you were meeting and going on a hike together- it was his idea, saying that it could be fun and would make it less awkward than meeting in a coffee shop.

“Are you ready?”

“ I’d say yes but I have a feeling I might regret saying that later.”

Max chucked, something was telling him you two were going to go along just well, “ don’t worry, we’ll go at your own pace, I don’t want to lose you behind.”

“ Hey! Don’t underestimate me. I might not be a champion or even into sport that much but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep up.”

“ Alright, alright, it’s not a competition anyways, we’re here to learn about each other and have fun, right?”

And you did have fun, Max turned out to be really funny and nice, you didn’t regret accepting to meet and getting to know him, in fact, you wanted him to be part of your life now, after all, you had a lot to catch up- you would never be able to catch up on all the years you had missed but you still could try.

Hence why, after the hike, Max invited you to his next Grand Prix, you told him early on that you didn’t know a single thing about his sport but he still wanted to show you his world. You couldn’t say know, you could tell how much it meant to him and you were curious to know what it was like in real life.

Here you were two weeks later, completely lost and confused in a world you didn’t know a thing about. You asked Max if you could come the whole weekend as you were willing to try to understand his sport, and he was more than happy to invite you for the three whole days.

Max was busy for a last minute meeting with his engineering team, so with Max’s encouragements, you went wandering through the paddock and a bit everywhere you were allowed to go to- all you knew was that you couldn’t lose your pass where it was written that you were Max’s guest.

You couldn’t tell how far you had went, and it seemed impossible to find your way back to the Red Bull’s garage without asking someone for directions. It wasn’t an easy task as everyone looked so busy, you didn’t want to bother.

That was until you saw a man, that you guessed worked for Ferrari due to his red shirt, he didn’t look too busy as he was looking at his phone. Taking your chance, you approached the man and excuse yourself, “ hi, i- uhm, I’m sorry to bother you, I’m lost and I’d like to go back to the Red Bull’s garage, do you know where I have to go?”

“ Hi,” before continuing he quickly looked at your pass to make sure you weren’t lying, “ Max’s guest, uh? The garages are at the other side, it’d be easier for you to ask Max to come get you.”

“ What’s wrong with me being Max’s guest?”

“ He always has the same guests, but I never saw you around.”

You frowned, not understanding what the problem was or what he was trying to insinuate- it wasn’t your fault you didn’t get to know him sooner, “ I met Max recently, so it’s my first time around here.”

“ You just met and he already invites you? Damn, I didn’t know Max liked gold diggers!”

“ What the fuck?” being offended wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how you felt hearing this man’s comment, “ I don’t know who you think you are but fuck you!”

You left right away, fuming at the man’s comments on you and your brother- which you ended up calling once you cooled down to ask him how to get back to the garage.

To say the least, you felt like a complete fool for getting lost, and the fact that Max told you to stay where you were because he was coming to get you didn’t help neither. It was your first time in this environment but you felt like you were just taking Max’s precious time during those weekends.

That wasn’t how your brother felt though, he was delighted to have you around and was already hoping you’d come to more races in the future, “ so, how was your little adventure?”

“ Cool until I met an asshole who ruined the experience a bit.”

Your brother frowned, unhappy to hear someone had already bothered you, “ do you know who it was?”

“ I don’t know anyone or any name besides you, Lewis Hamilton, Vettel, and since today Checo too.”

“ You can’t tell which team neither?”

“ Oh, it was one of the Ferrari drivers- but why does it matter?”

“ I’ll make sure they don’t bother you again.”

You shrugged it off, you didn’t really care anymore already, you were still bothered by those comments but it wasn’t going to keep you awake at night, “ i can take care of myself don’t worry, i told them to fuck off.”

Max seemed to be amused by what you told him but also felt proud to know how you stood up for yourself, “ well, that was deserved.”

“ Yeah.”

———

It had now been a month since you saw Max races for the first time- and also win. You were starting to understand your brother’s love for this sport even if it would never reach his level, you liked it more every time you’d watch a race, wether it was in person or behind a screen.

You hadn’t gotten the chance to attend the race after your first Grand-Prix due to work but after that, you had changed your schedule to be able to go support your brother on every upcoming races.

The only real downside of attending the those weekends were that you kept crossing paths with Carlos who, for some unknown reasons, disliked you since your first time attending a Grand-Prix.

Naturally, you would always return his shady comments or glares every single time- you didn’t really hate him but did hold a grudge against him for the names he had called you. Other than that, you believed he was a great guy since him and Max seemed to go along so well.

You had just left the Red Bull’s facility, siping some fresh drink when your shoulder collided with someone, who just like you, wasn’t paying attention to where they were going, “ ah, come on! You again?”

“ You don’t own the place as far as I’m concerned?”

“ You neither, yet you seem to always be on my way.”

You scoffed, this was getting ridiculous, you were literally next to the Red Bull’s zone, where else were you supposed to be, “ oh my god, stop being so childish and petty, what the fuck did I even do to you?”

“ Well, clearly you like being on my path and I hate that.”

“ You’re acting as if I killed your puppy or something, grow up!”

Carlos dramatically rolled his eyes, sighing loudly to show his annoyance he snapped back, “ you’re stupid, aren’t you?”

“ That’s rich coming from you. You’re such a fake bitch for hating me but being good friend with Max.”

“ I’m not going to stop being friend with him because he started bringing you around, even if we’d do better without you there.”

You had heard enough and now, you couldn’t hold back all the frustration you kept for yourself anymore, “ first of all, fuck you and second of all, I hope you don’t get to finish sunday’s race!”

And with that, you stormed off, not without shoving Carlos on the side- he was truly an asshole yet you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him as much as he hated you and that even with all the awful names he had been called you.

You wondered for a while, as you headed to the Red Bull’s garage what you had done or said to be so hated by him. You had seen once or twice how he acted with everyone else- he seemed to be nice and even funny. You couldn’t get along with everyone no matter how hard you tried, so maybe ignoring him would be for the best.

And with what you had just said to him, you most likely would never get along with the driver. Of course, you didn’t wish any real harm to Carlos, you didn’t want him to have an accident where he would get injured, you just wanted his car to give up mid race, imagining how upset that would make him.

However, you didn’t actually think it would happen two days later, when you saw on the screens in the garage that one of the ferrari had stopped on the side of the track, while catching fire and the driver was still in the car, you felt incredibly guilty- you shouldn’t have wished that to him.

At that point, you weren’t even sure if it Carlos and not his teammate since you were still struggling with the numbers of each drivers but you quickly understood it was indeed Carlos, you honestly felt like it was maybe your fault for jinxing him on Friday.

The end of the race was a tie between Charles and your brother, during the last lap, you were sitting at the edge of your seat, hoping for a miracle as you heard Charles had a problem with his car. Once the checkered flag was out, you were disappointed to see Max get the second place even if it was still a good result.

As you were told to follow the team, you greeted Max and congratulated him for his second place. No matter how hectic the moment was, Max took a minute to hug you, “ I’ll see you after the podium? ”

“ Yeah of course, go enjoy your moment, I’m proud of you!”

Even if it was a happy moment, you couldn’t help but think about Carlos’ car catching fire, you wished you could tell him how sorry you were and that you regretted your words. But for now, you had to push those thoughts aside and follow the team to get closer to the podium.

As soon as Max was handed his trophy for his second place, you proudly clapped, smiling ear to ear at yet another accomplishment- maybe you were starting to enjoy this sport more than you’d like to admit.

While music was blasting, champagne bottles were opened and soon enough, the three men sharing the podium today were soaked in champagne. As you watched this happen, something, or rather someone, caught your attention from the corner of your eyes.

You noticed Carlos assisting at the podium from afar, while you knew he was solely there for his teammate and was most likely still upset for how the race ended for him, you felt brave enough to take this opportunity to apologize.

Squeezing yourself through everyone gathered at the podium, you made your way to the ferrari driver and quickly apologized before he would send you away, “ I’m sorry for what happened during the race, I didn’t actually want this to happen.”

“ Are you sure about that? I wouldn’t be surprised to hear you actually enjoyed the scene. ”

“ I didn’t enjoy one bit- that was scary, I can’t even begin to imagine how you felt in that car burning.”

“ Yeah, that wasn’t the most pleasant moment of my career.”

You sighed, closing your eyes for a second, trying to find the right words so this wouldn’t end up in yet another argument, “ look, I was angry because you called me a bitch and I don’t understand why you hate me so much without even knowing me. I didn’t think and said the first thing that came to my mind. I’m truly sorry.”

“ It wasn’t your fault, it’s just the engine who failed. Stuff like that happen sometimes.”

“ Okay,” the conversation fell flat right after, as you were unsure of what else could you say, he didn’t seem to be too upset against you which was good, you didn’t want to have this on your conscience, “ I know it’s not the right moment to ask this, but what did I do to you?”

“ You didn’t do anything to me, it’s not the problem- it’s the fact that Max never talked about you before and one day you show up and now you’re basically glued to him.”

“ What’s wrong with that? Wait,” you had just realized that he was thinking Max and you were together, “ you think I’m dating Max?”

“ Isn’t it the case?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how uncalled for this assumption was, “ not at all, I’m his sister- well, step-sister but that’s the same to me.”

“ Oh,” you could tell how embarrassed Carlos was at that exact moment and it was quite funny, you couldn’t lie, “ I didn’t know Max had another sister, I’m sorry for assuming things.”

“ It’s pretty new for us too, we met a bit over two months ago and he invited me for the first time the friday we met to show me what was his life like.”

“ I hope my stupid comments didn’t ruin the experience too much for you.”

This time, you smiled at the driver, maybe he wasn’t as much of an asshole as you first thought. Shrugging, you replied, “ it’s fine, that didn’t ruin my weekends.”

“ That’s good to hear. Will you be there next time too?”

“ Unless Max suddenly doesn’t want me around anymore, I’ll be there- why?”

“ Well, I have a lot to make up for. I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole.”

You cocked your head on the side, clearly amused by Carlos’ words, “ I’m impatient to see how you’re planning on making up for it.”

“ You won’t be disappointed.”

“ We’ll see about that.”

———

Usually, you never joined Max on Thursday as it was only for press conferences and interviews- he didn’t want you to have to stay behind, waiting for him and get over-bored. Now that you were getting familiar with the Red Bull’s team and befriended some other people working for different teams, you didn’t mind having to stay behind and wait.

And that’s what you did today, you accompanied your brother and when it was his group’s turn at the press conference, you stayed behind, talking to a few people you knew and eventually found a nice and rather calm spot to wait.

As you were listening to your playlist while scrolling down on your social media feeds, you didn’t notice that Carlos was walking to you until he sat next to you, removing one of your earphone to get your attention, “ i didn’t know you’d be here today?”

Startled by the sudden apparition of the driver, you put your hand over your chest, “ oh my god, don’t ever scare me like that again!”

“ Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“ That’s okay but don’t do it again and yeah, I don’t usually come with Max on Thursday but I was in the mood to be the annoying sister today.”

Carlos laughed, handing you back your earphone, “ how long have you been sitting there?”

“ I don’t know, maybe half an hour- why?”

“ With this heat? Why don’t we go inside and grab a cold drink, you got to stay hydrated!”

Arching a brow quite amused at Carlos’ suggestion you replied, “ you know I can get a drink from the Red Bull’s facility, right?”

“ Yeah but ours, at Ferrari, are better!”

“ I’m pretty sure the drinks are the same, but I guess I have to check it out by myself now, uh?”

Carlos grinned from ear to ear at your answer, getting up, he offered his hand to help you, which you gladly took. You kept a pretty light conversation as you two headed to the Ferrari’s facility as you mostly talked about how he hoped the weekend would go for him and Charles.

You kept going until Carlos stopped you right before entering the building, confused you gave him a questioning glare, “ you can’t enter wearing a Red Bull cap!”

It was childish but you were nonetheless amused by Carlos’ words, you knew no one would say a word about you wearing the Red Bull cap Max offered you during the first racing weekend you attended, “ better? ”

Your friend remained silent for a couple of seconds until his eyes lit up as if he had gotten the brightest idea of the year. Before you could say or even realize anything, Carlos took his own cap and put it on your head, “ even better now!”

“ Are you trying to turn me into a Ferrari supporter?”

“ I wouldn’t dare!”

“ Yeah, because I’m not betraying my brother.”

“ Too bad, red suits you very well.”

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed- you liked the color red and wearing it but you were too proud to say it to him. Instead, you cleared your throat, reminding Carlos why you were there, “ so, are we getting those drinks or not?”

“ Yeah, vamos.”

Following your friend inside the building belonging to his team, once you had acquired a drink you liked, you didn’t stay too long inside, only enough to cool down from the outside burning heat of the summer.

It was only mere seconds after you left Ferrari’s facility, still accompanied by Carlos, that your brother found you. The first thing he noticed was the unusual hat you were wearing, he feigned being hurt at the sigh, a hand clutching at his heart, “ i can’t believe I turn my back for an hour and you betray me like that.”

“ It’s not what it looks like Max, I swear.”

“ It’s okay, it’s okay- I knew it would eventually happen.”

You weren’t sure what your brother exactly meant by this, exchanging a look with Carlos, he simply shrugged, he was just as confused as you were, “ what?”

“ I meant you and Carlos? I mean come on, I knew from the beginning you would end together- enemies falling in love or whatever they call it.”

“ What? We- we’re not dating if that’s what you think!”

“ It’s cool if you guys want to keep it a secret, I won’t tell anybody.”

You rolled your eyes, not understanding how Max convinced himself that Carlos and you had been dating. You were about to tell Max to stop as there was nothing between Carlos and you, but your friend replied before you could, “ thanks bro, i was actually going to ask y/n where she wanted to go for our next date.”

“ Oh,” Max was just as speechless as you were, since when you had already went on a date with Carlos, “ my bad for interrupting then. I’ll let you guys be, i’ll be at the rbr’s garage but when you come back y/n, you’re forbidden from wearing any ferrari’s merch in our garage.”

You laughed a little, it didn’t even cross your mind to keep the cap on for this long and you surely didn’t want to make enemies for wearing a red hat, especially since you were still considered new around here.

By the next minute, Max was gone, leaving Carlos and you alone again. You felt a bit awkward as you asked him, “ why did you say that to Max?”

“ Because I meant it- I was really going to ask you if you wanted to go on a date with me, he seemed so convinced that we were already dating.”

“ Would you like that? For us to be together?”

“ Well yeah, I would. You know, I never hated you- I just hated that you were with Max, at least that what I believed. I thought I had no chance with you and I was a bit jealous.”

“ You should’ve just asked me straight away. Would’ve saved us some times and arguments.”

Carlos chuckled, agreeing with you, he added, “ you have no idea how much I regret being an asshole to you.”

“ It’s okay now that we sorted this out,” you smiled softly, glad that you had gotten to see this side of Carlos that you already liked so much, “ so, about that date?”

“ Yeah?”

“ When and where?”

He smiled ear to ear, realizing that you were in for a date with him, “ what about tonight? I’m pretty sure I spotted a restaurant near the hotel.”

“ Sounds great to me, I can’t wait for tonight.”

[thepermanentscowl]

okay i agree i'd prefer vampires to mosquitoes too. vampires are hotter.

oh no sorry adgfg GO ARYAAAA cheating gives you a brain itch? oof. you're one in a million fr. oh yeah i'd be surprised if you had enemies for reasons other than jealousy. i think its a good thing, you walked out like a cool senior not that stupid guy

yess you are a really good narrator. and you are always funny. either it's those cute intentional spellings (kat, bloo, dinasor, etc) or it's nice jokes here and there. dw about the swearing it's necessary sometimes. for the soul.

are red house people collectively ew. even in my school red house is terrible. bro exactly. you're an educated person defeating the point of education. how funny is it that it's these people who grow up to be chief ministers and not the ones who deserve to be. the corollary that they put education to shame is just added irony. true, how dare you be mean to kids. idiot. haha morals? what are those? well, that was a long time coming i think. may god be with those juniors he's trying to "rizz up."

dw it's impossible to not look cool when you're throwing hands, esp if you're not on the receiving end. exactly, his letter of recommendation is going to have some interesting comments now. he's dumb. eh yeah can't tell parents the full story or they'd be out for blood, his and yours both lol. but yes, all's well that ends well.

ahah sports captaincy. oof. where do I begin. sports day was last saturday. it was so damn crazy bro. we had flat races, relays, three legged race, brother-sister relay (yes, we were racing with guys from our brother school. they won. boys and their long legs ugh. but i won against them in the 200m flat race. ha.) now, marching. my god, it was a sight to witness all the four houses marching in sync. everything i taught them didn't go to waste at all. but you know who won? my house 😭 correction: old house. i don't have a house anymore as school games captain but whatever. my house won 😭😭😭 I was allowed to march with my house and even wear my old house belt for the closing march 😭😭😭 we even had a past vs present relay where the former students raced again the ex-students, god it was fun. we tied lol. but speaking as a sports captain, it was one of the best experiences of my life. i had a lot of people to learn from, and a lot of people looking up to me too. being a senior is an amazing experience, even if it's sad. it is for me atleast. i tried my best to motivate the juniors because...they have so much potential yk? sometimes when they lose in an event it's your duty to keep their spirits up so they can try their best for the next competition and not just wallow in self misery. it's your duty to inspire them and be inspired by them. I'm glad to say that all my juniors are very talented, even if they're problematic. i'm glad that my final year in school is like this. i couldn't have asked for anything better.

yelo idk when you will see this but i hope you are doing good and school is going well for you :D

broooo hiiii half yearly exams ended just today so i was on an internet break for the past 2 weeks

i'm doing good, school is going fun. we had exams and now we have the batch trip coming up. i am so excited its just next week eeeee

how are you?? how is 11th grade going?

ALSO THE SLUG IS BACK YAS

[randoauthor]

SwimSuit Model (R.F)

Pairings: Bob x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some swearing and suggestive lines

Word Count: 615

Author's Note: Oooo we get to see a partially dominant Bob...!

Summary: Jake is crushing over a swimsuit model he found in magazine, and then doesn't believe Bob when he says he is dating her.

MasterList!

"Get a load of this beauty," Hangman said peering over his sunglasses to get a better look at the girl suntanning on the beach. Her swimsuit hugs her curves just right and she seemed to not care about anything but the sailors playing dogfight football. Even Natasha seemed to notice her.

"Holy shit." She said walking over to Jake, "it's (y/n) (y/l), she is like one of the biggest models on the west coast. Sports Illustrated, Playboy, Vogue. She's done them all."

Jake stared at Natasha with a dumbfounded look on his face. "No fuckin way." Natasha nodded before calling Bob over.

He came jogging over confused as to why Hangman was staring at his girlfriend. "What magazines has (y/n) modeled for?" Natasha asked, "oh," Bob said, "a good few actually, but the biggest ones are Sports Illustrated and Playboy, she has also walked in New York and Paris fashion week, and she's hoping to walk in Milan next year." Jake laughed. "That's funny Bob, I didn't know Bob was a fan of swimsuit models" Bob and Nat gave each other a confusing glance.

"Jake, Bob, and (y/n) are together," Nat said slowly Bob nodding beside her.

"No that's impossible a girl like her would never go for Bob, no offense." Bob gave a soft smile, "somehow you always make it offensive."

A slight distance away you watch as your boyfriend talks to his friends, it was kind of him to invite you to accompany him to the beach, granted you were planning on going anyway. Bob seems upset, maybe something someone was saying? Natasha and you got along great so you knew it wasn't her. None of the other guys you had met yet so you couldn't speak for the rest.

"Rooster! Get over here! Bob is convinced that he's dating a model!" Jake shouts, so Rooster comes jogging over to also gawk at Bob's girlfriend as you sit there staring right back at them.

"I mean yeah she's hot, but I couldn't see myself with her." Bob looked at Rooster with a weary glance, "I mean yeah it would be awesome to date a model but I don't think I could deal with so many guys staring at her, let alone ones pretending to date her." Bob let out a frustrated sign.

"Ya know you guys don't have to believe me but don't fucking make fun of me for it." He says sharply. "Woah, easy tiger, don't get your panties in a twist," Jake said with a chuckle.

"(y/n) come here!" your boyfriend shouts at you from across the beach, you stand up and brush yourself off and make your way over to him and his friends. You give a soft smile to the strangers as you get closer and the one closest to your boyfriend extends his hand.

"The name is Jake Sersin, they call me Hangman," He gives her a smirk as she takes his hand. "(y/n)(y/l)," you say sweetly.

"Enough of this," Bob grumbles, "They don't believe you're my girlfriend." You look with amusement between the sailors.

"Oh really?" You smirk looking at Bob, "prove it to them, baby." And so Bob does, he walks over to you, and with one hand grabbing your waist, he places his other around your throat. You allow him to kiss you passionately as Natasha hoops and hollers as you kiss him back.

Bob pulls away from you he turns to Jake, looking rather defeated.

"Do you believe me now?" He says with a smirk, holding you close to him.

"Yeah," Jake says with a sigh.

"Okay," you clap your hands together, "Who's ready for some football?"

Taglist!

@itscheybaby

@turningtoclown

@daryldixonstorm

@Dilfsandtherapy

@Nickie-amore

@malindacath

@luckyladycreator2

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[a-guy-named-e]

the states as weird things my directors have said

alabama: you have so much school spirit i almost forgot you don't know how football works

alaska: why can't you all shut the hell up every once in a while

arizona: you're the only person i'll let complain at this point. i don't think you're right, but i do think it's funny.

arkansas: you're still here? i thought you graduated. leave already, dammit.

california: i thought i was ready for the pronoun question but clearly i was not.

colorado: i don't know why he hangs out with you, all you do is smoke weed! [turns to me] you haven't started smoking weed have you?

connecticut: i will pay you seven dollars if you can get the tenors to stop giving me stupid nicknames.

delaware: yes. i know you were the first to reset. that's because you don't move.

georgia: do you know where the disembodied cougar head is? no? well then i don't know what to tell you.

florida: i never thought i'd have to say this but please do not pick up any more squirrels.

hawai'i: your disregard for authority is only funny when it's [band director], not when it's me.

idaho: i don't care what you call it, i want to know why you were arranging a marriage on the back of the bus.

illinois: i need you to do me a favor and make sure [friend] never wears that packers jersey again because next time i might strangle him.

indiana: why is it so hard for you to march slides? just turn and look at the damn cornfield!

iowa: alumni, i appreciate you coming out to watch, but please do not turn our rehearsal into a field of dreams moment.

kansas: if you make one more comment about the scenery i'm kicking you off the bus.

kentucky: you were a horse girl in a past life, weren't you?

louisiana: i know you can't dance worth shit but i need you to play like you're trying to convince someone that you can.

maine: i can't tell if you're agreeing with me or just acknowledging me but i like being agreed with so i'm going with that.

maryland: i don't trust anyone whose only experience with crab is imitation crab meat

massachusetts: i'm not technically allowed to swear around you but that was fucking terrible.

michigan: so are you just emotionally invested in awful sports teams or what?

minnesota: i know this is the midwest but can someone please bring anything other than a casserole to the pitch-in?

mississippi: i don't care who was talking, i'm telling all of you to shut up so i know i get the right one.

missouri: i know dark humor is in and all but i feel obligated to tell you that i'm a mandated reporter, so can you please make your jokes about jumping off the arch where i can't hear them?

montana: no, you may not run laps in the enchanted forest.

nebraska: it's almost the 4th, right? okay, if you can play three notes better this rep i'll run to the cornfield and check if it's knee-high for you guys.

nevada: oh my god you did not just start a poker game.

new hampshire: i don't care that it's 101°, i'm not allowed to let you be shirtless.

new jersey: the way some of you march makes me so scared of you becoming drivers.

new mexico: this should be sultry! be sultry!

new york: i don't pay $5 for my coffee. i like it black. like my soul.

north carolina: you're acting like a whiney little brother. i should know. i am the whiney little brother.

north dakota: all things being equal i'd love to agree to disagree. however all things are not equal. i'm smarter than you.

ohio: buckle up kids, this is going to be the only interesting thing you see for the next several hours.

oklahoma: trumpets i am begging you to get a personality other than metaphorical dick measuring contests with the tubas

oregon: i don't care that we used the bridge last year, we're using it again. it's our thing now.

pennsylvania: i often get sad about the fact that we border ohio but then i remember that ohio also borders us

rhode island: one more wrong note and i'm putting the piccolo on a high shelf where you can't reach it.

south carolina: i want you to play like $40 peach sweet tea.

south dakota: i wish i were an only child too, but not all of us can be that lucky

tennessee: if you hear me blasting dolly parton in my office shut up and mind your business.

texas: we don't have much going for us, but i can guarantee no one else is dumb enough to cram 90 horn players on a gym floor and make them march.

utah: i don't know why you have seven pictures of jesus taped to your face and honestly i'm a little scared to ask.

vermont: alright folks, practice is starting late today. someone put seventy two bottles of cracker barrel maple syrup in my office. yes, i counted.

virginia: i hate to be a buzzkill but unfortunately murder is still very illegal.

washington: i'm sorry, you're now legally required to get starbucks before all of our competitions. i will buy it for you if that's what it takes.

west virginia: you may have noticed country roads is in our pep band binder. please note that i will be using this as leverage for the rest of the season. if you cross the line, it gets cut. consider yourself warned.

wisconsin: i have a lot of questions honestly, but i think the two most pressing are "why are you eating a whole block of cheese" and "aren't you lactose intolerant"

wyoming: you know what? i think i'm with you on this one, i would've preferred sexy cowboys to sexy firemen too.