#whats a god to an agnostic (me?) nature itself

[nthspecialll]

do you think many members of dutch’s gang were religious? was dutch even religious?

There are some characters that we cant tell other than "oh they grew up in this place in this age" but there are also some where we know their religions! I am quickly going to go over them but HeavenlyMorals made a really good post on this which I recommend looking at!

Dutch is not a catholic, he verbally talks about his dislikes for them, meaning he probably grew up protestant, however he does act more in romantisism, which is based on the relationship between man, god and nature.

Hosea is protestant. He talks about wanting to become a priest however he gave up on it because he needed to be a catholic and he wasn't fond of that idea. He talks about heaven and salvation and about his relationship with god being rocky due to Bessie's death.

Arthur is agnostic. He is open to the idea of faith, talking about whether or not he can get salvation however he tells the nun he does not believe in anything at all. That said, he dislikes the church but not the people. He doesnt really care what people believe in, he respects it, but he hates how the church takes and takes.

John is a non-practicing christian. He makes reference to god, like marrying Abigail in front of her, Dutch not being saved and so on, but he is rather passive when it comes to religion itself and is rather realistic.

Abigail is a praciticing Christian. She asks Jack to read verses for her.

Sean is likely cultual catholic. He talks about being a Child Of God, and is proud of his irish heritage which is known for catholis.

Javier is too cultural catholic. He doesn't speak of it but he makes the cross sign.

Molly is probably a protestant due to her troubles with Sean.

Micah is atheist. He uses himself as a god, he bullies Swanson for being religious and talks it down.

Sadie is christian, though not practicing. She mentions god as a force but doesn't practice.

Swanson is protestant, though he has swayed a little. He talks about how "maybe catholics are right" when he is completely down and doubting in chapter 2.

These are very shortly explaining, but I REALLY recommend the post above!!

[goodmorningdove]

In the sun and the moon

In the stars above and the stones below

In every act of kindness and act of vengance

In the wildest of summer parties and the quietest of winter evenings

God is a little bit of everything, if you know how to look

where to find god?

[justalittlesolarpunk]

You mentioned that you are pagan? Or interested in that side of things? How so, if I may? :)

I'm pagan (non denominational goddess worship) and I'm growing more interested in ecology and everything encompassed in solar punk, so I'm interested to hear how your interest coincides with being/interest in paganism

Hi! Yes. I’m still very much just dipping my toe into paganism, so I use the term loosely as I don’t feel informed enough yet to be more specific. I’m interested by neo-Druidry and drawn to Celtic Polytheism, but mainly because it’s most compatible with my heritage, not because it seems more right or true than any other pagan belief system I’ve come across.

I call myself a pagan because I believe that the matter of the earth itself is what is sacred, that the world is full of gods older than any of the names we have given them, inhabiting the water and the rocks, the trees and the soil, the animals and the herbs. I guess you could say ecology is my religion in some senses - the way everything fits together in harmony, from the Wood Wide Web to the salmon run, never fails to make me feel close to the divine.

For me personally, my paganism is very close to solarpunk. I’m a solarpunk because I think living in harmony with the earth is sacred. I’m a pagan because I think saving the planet requires all aspects of our lives and selves. And vice versa, if that makes sense. Now of course, I’m sure there are many deeply committed, principled and hardworking solarpunks who are atheists, agnostic, humanists, Christians, Jewish, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists, Baha’is and Zoroastrians, or who follow indigenous spiritualities, and I think all these belief systems are compatible in their own way with solarpunk (which actually has a lot in common with an apocatastatic religion but don’t get my theology nerd brain started on that). But for me, I couldn’t conceive of being a pagan and not a solarpunk too, or a solarpunk and not some sort of nature worshipper. But religion is very personal.

Hope this explains ok - my feelings around faith are very blobby and hard to verbalise 😅😆

[chaosmeistergames]

Expanding the 6Q-System

Hey TTRPG family,

Since a lot of you seem to like my free game 6Q, I've been kicking around some ideas for setting modules for it, and I'd love to get your input. I'm currently considering eight different settings, each with its own unique flavor. Take a look at these summaries and let me know which ones grab you the most:

🌆 Cyberpunk Megacity: Navigate a neon-drenched domed metropolis where climate control has gone haywire and micro weather haunts the districts. Help claw back control of the very weather from the corrupt corps exploiting it.

🐉 Mythic Fantasy Realm: Explore a world where forgotten gods walk among mortals and ancient magic pulses through the land. Your choices will shape the destiny of a realm teetering between rebirth and oblivion. May the fog spare you.

🪐 Space Opera Fringe: Carve out your legacy on the edge of known space, where alien mysteries and human ambition collide. The key to uniting worlds may lie in the unlikliest of friendships.

🕴️ Supernatural Investigation Agency: Join a clandestine organization tasked with keeping the supernatural hidden from the public eye. Balance maintaining the veil under which society operates with uncovering otherworldly truths that threaten reality itself.

🏜️ Post Apocalyptic Reconstruction: In a world ravaged by catastrophe, lead the charge to rebuild civilization. Your choices will determine not just survival, but the very nature of the society that rises from the ashes.

🎩 Steampunk Conspiracy: Unravel a web of secrets in a world of brass and steam, where science and the occult intertwine. Your inventions and deductions could topple empires or usher in a new age of enlightenment.

☀️ Solarpunk Utopia: Shape the future in a world that has overcome its greatest challenges through technology and social change. Explore the complexities of maintaining harmony while striving for perfection.

🏡 Slice of Life Community: Build connections and navigate personal growth in a close-knit community. Discover the extraordinary in the ordinary as you help shape the lives of those around you.

I'm genuinely curious to hear which of these resonates with you. Your input will be a big help as I expand 6Q. I can't promise I will nail every setting as some of these are challenging for me and outside my expertise. And of course details may change. I hope to get to every setting in due time, but your choice tells me what I will work on first. Cheers!

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments - I'm always interested in hearing your ideas and what you'd like to see.

Thanks for being part of this journey with me. Please repost if this interests you, I would love to get as much input as possible! Looking forward to seeing what you all think.

[thedisabledwitch333]

I’ve had a big realisation recently that I’ve been desperate for the longest time to believe in deities.

Because I want to belong somewhere. I want to be loved. I want to have been created for a purpose. I have a need for authority complex, that I think a lot of people have too. Wouldn’t it be easier to do what we were told to do? Anyway…

But I think I was just pretending and mindlessly studying without checking in with my values and morals. I’m anarchist-leaning, but why was I so determined to believe in deities? Maybe because I want justice to rain down on oppressors like something out of the bible…I don’t know.

Personally, I don’t believe in hierarchy. I believe that each person should be in charge of themselves. I believe that there’s no higher authority than yourself. We’re also here to care for each other and help each other through the cycles of life. I also have lingering resentment that deities do not step in to help people suffering worldwide, this is probably leftover hatred I have for the Christian God as a former Catholic.

That said, I am in awe of nature. Nature has always made me feel things that I can’t describe (something I’d normally ascertain to spiritual). I see what us humans are doing the earth and it hurts me deeply. We were born on this amazing, unique planet and that’s all we have. We have to protect it and all life on it.

I think my path is not theistic. I think it is reverence for nature and life itself. If deities are archetypes and metaphors for human experiences, that’s okay. If deities are nature itself, that’s okay.

I think I’m agnostic based on my own experiences I have had. I think I need to look inwardly to understand why I feel “presences”. I think I need to be in nature more often. I think I need to be more present in my body. I think I need to allow myself to be human and change.

That said, I still respect different religious beliefs.

[invinciblerodent]

honestly it's like 3 am again and i just plain don't have the time or the energy to unpack this, but now that I think about it, there is definitely something kind of funny in how i, a broadly agnostic atheist with no religious upbringing, no background in religion, and no belief in anything supernatural, find it much easier and far more appealing to engage with the concept of religion in fiction, than I do in real life.

like in DnD/Faerun, it's generally pretty easy for me, otherwise detached as I am from it, to conceptualize worship, devotion, blasphemy, gods, etc., knowing that the gods there are not mere ideas, but genuine, tangible beings in their universe, governed by actual rules and hierarchies, and possessing whatever the universe conceptualizes as "divinity".

but on the other hand, it's just really fun for me how in Dragon Age, despite being very much knowingly made up in the same way, the existence of Andraste and the Maker is still kept intentionally vague and ambiguous- and the "gods" or divine-adjacent beings that we've met so far have strangely kept turning out to be... well, pretty much no more than spirits, upstarts, or unfathomably powerful mages. The elven gods are either real or just mages and slavers, the Old Gods of Tevinter are either real or just ancient dragons(???), and Corypheus, despite posing himself on the precipice of divinity, is nevertheless very firmly established as being not a god. Even the nature of the vision of "Andraste" we see in the Fade is kept ambiguous- maybe it's Andraste, maybe it's Divine Justinia, maybe it's a helpful spirit that has latched itself onto some echo of Justinia's soul. If I recall correctly, there is not a definitive claim made by the game, only one of what you believe it to be, and maybe like, Leliana says it once?? I think???

I think the way divinity and godhood is conceptualized in Dragon Age is really fascinating, in that so far, it's been very much unlike the way most other fantasy series I've read/played have treated their gods, and now I'm actually really looking forward to seeing how it all gets upended in Veilguard.

Like I'm kinda feeling a bit giddy again, just thinking about again playing a character who is ambiguously and casually Andrastian in the general/average Thedosian way (maybe kind of like how Dorian is, in that she'll believe in the faith and not the Chantry), and trying to make sense of the presence of literal fucking elven gods in her city. Like, what a mindfuck, you know?

[v-tired-queer]

Hi!! I'm a Christian, and while I've encountered people who combine witchcraft with their Christian faith, I've never understood it. I saw in your pinned post that this is something you do. If you're willing/interested/have the energy, would you be willing to share more about that? Or point me in the direction of some more information on it?

I know really little about this, and I really want to understand more. I'm not coming here to be critical, just super curious. :D Hope you're well!

Hello there! 😃👋 I hope that you're doing well, too, and sure, I'd love to share a little more about combining witchcraft with my Christian faith!

I think, for starters, that it's important to remember that, like for everything else in life, how I've experienced this might not be how another Christian witch experiences it, views it, or even came about it. But I think that as Christians we can also understand that fairly easily, as that's just how a lot of us experience Christianity in and of itself. How one person came to Christ won't always be the same way that another person has come to Christ, and how we worship won't always look the same, either. It's just like that for Christian witches, too.

In an attempt to make a very long story short (spoiler alert: I failed), I feel like I am very lucky and blessed to have grown up with a Methodist mom, Southern Baptist father, aunts who were Catholic, cousins who became atheist and agnostic and friends at school who were Muslim and Jewish. I was surrounded by all sorts of different paths to take, and my mom had always encouraged my brother and I to choose our faiths for ourselves when we were old enough to understand what having faith really means, which is why we weren't baptized when we were babies, but raised in church nonetheless. I grew up very faithful. Sunday School was my favorite part of the week, and I loved to learn more about God and Jesus and say my prayers at meals and at night. God always made me feel loved. Still does 🩷

When I was in middle school, I was very, very traditional. I was open minded to others, but I was always hesitant to let myself explore more things for myself. I think I was afraid that exploring meant that I was a bad Christian, that I was questioning God, and I didn't want to make Him angry or upset with me. But I eventually met a friend who was a Wiccan, worshiping a god and goddess, living by the cycles of the moon and seasons, doing spells and rituals and worshiping at home or in nature. I loved things like that growing up, but always thought that it was just something from Hollywood or the mideavel period at best. I didn't think people actually did it, though I had always wished that they did. Little middle schooler me thought that maybe this was God's way of giving me permission to explore more, so I asked questions, watched spells and rituals, learned correspondences, and eventually asked, "Is there a Christian faith that's like this, too?"

Turns out there wasn't really one specific faith in Christianity that I could find, but rather, a practice instead. Google led me down so many different paths of people who were both Christians and witches and I decided I wanted to give it a try, too. And honestly? It felt like my faith was renewed. I felt like by choosing how I specifically worship and "do Christianity", I was making a relationship with God and Jesus and even the Holy Spirit that was closer than ever before because I was letting myself actually feel my faith instead of just going through motions at church, which was a rut than even middle school me was stuck in. I wasn't just doing what I thought I had to, I was doing what I wanted to do to show God my love and faith, and it really empowered me to form my own path in life, one that was and still is Christ centered, even if not in a way that tends to be expected for Christians.

So, the witchcraft itself: personally, I don't know if I view my spells an rituals the same way that other witches do. I don't really do a spell and think of it as me bending the wills that be to my desire, but rather, I view it as a really intense prayer. I see it as me using visual representations of my goals, needs and wants as a way to show God what it is I feel like I need (or just really, really want lol), but I always still leave it up to Him and His plans at the end of the day. I can do a thousand spells for the same thing over and over again, but if God says no, than the answer is no, ya know? My rituals are just ways to show my love, devotion, and gratitude. I pay special attention to seasons because the world God made is beautiful in all of its many ways, and personally, when I take the time to rest in the winter or come alive in the summer, I feel like I'm using the natural patterns of the Earth to further build my relationship with God, and Jesus, too. I feel like God made so many things in a natural rhythm and pattern--I just try to live by those things to strengthen the relationship between us.

I'm sure you can tell by how many times I've said it, but at the end of the day, it's all about my relationship with God and our Savior, just like for other Christians. I'm just doing things a bit differently. I'm 1000% that there are people who don't believe that this is a "valid" thing to do or that I'm sinning or that I'm going to Hell for all of this, but their opinions don't matter to me. My relationship with the Lord, His Son, and His Spirit matters to me, and when I do the things that make me feel the closest to Him, that make me feel His love and grace, then I feel like I'm doing fine.

Allllllll of that being said, there's lot of different ways that other Christian witches worship or practice witchcraft, which I think is really cool! There are some that have Mother Mary as a huge focus in their worship, or the Saints, or even the Disciples! I especially like witchcraft that involves the angels (Gabriel, my beloved 🤍). Personally, I steer clear of anything that involves demons or dark spirits and the like, but I'm always on the lookout for signs that angels are near or that the Lord is with me (which He always is, like he's always with you).

Unfortunately, I can't think of any sources or materials off the top of my head that would be good for further research. But maybe there are some other blogs on here that would have some good starting points, or would share their own views, too! You could search by denomination and then put witch after, like "Catholic witch" or Methodist witch", things like that. There are some books about Christian witchcraft, too, but personally I haven't read any of them. I think there might be come Christian witches on YouTube, too.

I hope this post made sense! If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask! 😊

God bless! 🕊

[aimmyarrowshigh]

Hi, sorry if this is a tone deaf question, or too much from an anon, but if you’re willing to answer, I was watching this show (Bodies on Netflix) and it had a Jewish man in WW2 England go talk to a rabbi about forgiveness and honestly it felt…indistinguishable from a lot of Hollywood Catholic confessional type scenes? Not the concept of forgiveness as a whole but the way he asked the rabbi whether he could be forgiven. I was raised agnostically by one Protestant Christian and one Hindu parent (never made to go to church and effectively an atheist) so I was just wondering how accurate that sort of thing was/if I’m reading too much into it. Mostly asking because I want to write about the “reluctant adoptive father of a feisty girl” thing he has going on with this refugee street girl (also Jewish) but also not sure whether a major scene of his even gels with like…proper writing of a Jewish character in the first place.

I haven't watched Bodies, so I'm not sure that I can give you a good answer -- that's my first caveat here. My second caveat is that I don't know what branch of Judaism the character follows, and also that pre- and post-WWII Judaism can be, to my understanding, pretty different (depending on the branch) (and for obvious reasons) -- although that's my understanding for Judaism in America, and I know less about Judaism in England. @tikkunolamorgtfo might be a better resource for this particular question.

One thing I would say you could do, though, without having seen the show, is to look up its writers! Are they Jewish? If so, I would say that you could trust the portrayal more than if they are not.

Your description of it makes me a bit skeptical, just because the Judaism that I practice doesn't fundamentally concern itself with capital-F Forgiveness in the same way that Christianity does -- it looks more at atonement, what one can actively do to make up for their transgressions, than at forgiveness by the transgressed, which Christianity seems pretty obsessed with -- but that isn't to say that it's automatically inaccurate.

I can definitely see directions for the scene to have gone that would gel with accurate portrayals of Jewish characters and Judaism! Certainly it's just human nature to wonder whether we can be forgiven for our transgressions... but I would say that if he's wondering like, "Will god forgive me," rather than "Will this person forgive me," that would give me pause as a reader?

It also feels a little weird to me that this would be the scene happening during the Holocaust, because it feels a little like... yk? But again, I haven't watched the show and I don't know how, or whether, the Shoah is addressed by the text or how things are framed in the scene.

@ryebecca Do you have any thoughts? Have you seen Bodies?

[browneyedboredom]

I still follow the same Christian pages I used to follow on Instagram and Facebook before I left the church. It's kind of sad to look at what they're posting now. So many of them are calling deconstructors and ex-Christians awful things, even telling them to their face that they were never a true Christian anyway and that's the real reason they left. They write about vitriol for atheists, coexist bumper stickers, and Christians who find God in nature rather than a church building. They also write about how much they love the God who forgave their sins, seemingly without realizing that the only reason they had "sins" to repent of was because that God decided he'd rather torment people he didn't like than let people live their own lives like an adult. They act as though every atheist in the world is a hot headed rage machine with blue hair and pronouns just trying to convince every Christian they encounter to come to the dark side. I know the only reason they feel this way is because they're trained and conditioned to avoid forming true friendships with non-Christians of any kind, so they have no clue that the majority of atheists/agnostics simply don't give a shit. It's kind of hard to have a balanced view of a group when your only interactions with them are reddit trolls and Fox news.

When I told one of my college friends about my friendship with a trans woman, she got very serious. Out of nowhere she took a cautionary tone and warned me to not get too close to her. At that point I had known my trans friend for over 2 years and we were best friends, so it was a bit late for avoiding intimate friendship. My college friend who I had known for all of a semester insisted that it was dangerous to associate too closely with those people, that she would end up pulling me away, that I would be doomed. She kept pushing and pushing even after I broke down crying in front of her because I was still petrified of hell but unwilling to sacrifice one of the most valued relationships in my life.

Well, I suppose she was right about one thing. My trans friend did lead me out of church. She also drove across the state to pick me up from my abusive home, cared for me when I was bedridden for days, and supported me when I lost my job. She was my first kiss in a park cave, first time holding hands in public, first hoodie thief. My first true romantic relationship. My first (and only) girlfriend.

I have loved her more than my own eternity, even more than death and life itself.

[tidalblazex]

i was barely making it through on a good day. i was barely making it through when i wasn't apathetic. i was barely making it through when i let myself believe my father loved me. i was barely making it through when i had hope. i was barely making it through when i was free to be myself. i was barely making it through when i believed that in the next term we could finally get socialized healthcare. i was barely making it through when i wasn't worried about the legality of transgender care. i was barely making it through when gay marriage was legal. i was barely making it through when queer books were allowed. i was barely making it through when i thought the inevitability of climate change could stop. i was barely making it through when i was safe. i was barely making it through when i could hang out with people. i was barely making it through when i wasn't scared for nature. i was barely making it through when i thought we could have autumn next year. i was barely making it through when i could talk to my therapist about being queer. i was barely making it through when i could be queer. i was barely making it through when the trans suicide rate was falling. i was barely making it through when i didnt need to protest. i was barely making it through when the rich were being taxed what they were. i was barely making it through when immigration was okay. i was barely making it through when i knew my friends were safe. i was barely making it through when the government resisted me only a bit. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was only just making it through. i was only just barely making it through when it was okay. i was barely making it through when it was good. i was barely making it through when life favored me. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was only just barely making it through when the voices were only whispers. i was only barely making it through when the urges to fucking kill myself were few and far between. i was only barely making it through when the voices telling me to kill myself weren't screaming. i was only just making it through when i felt. i was only barely making it. i was only barely making it. i was only barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through. i was barely making it through when i had believed that hitler was not reincarnated. i was barely making it through when unionizing was getting easier. i was barely making it through.

and you have the audacity. the gall. to tell me that you know it gets better? that there is a silver lining? that i need only hope? that i need only live? then what? four years pass and we get another withered twig to rule over us? or if we aren't so lucky, another hitler? to tell me that i just need to be strong?

i need to fade. i need to remove feeling. i need to disable my emotion. i need to shift into a plane in which i never existed. i need peace. i need release.

i am agnostic, not because i have chosen not to believe, but because every bit of evidence tells me that i cannot believe in a god whose holy book contradicts itself more than an indecisive toddler.

can't you see? i cannot have hope. no matter how much i may beg and plea and weep, i cannot have hope. like how believing in a god would be empty and pointless, so too would trying to believe that it will change.

i have suffered for years that i can scarce measure. i have suffered since before i had empathy. there is no reputable source that concludes that it can nor will improve. all valid statistics forecast that the pain will not end. all sources show that agony is inevitable. that suffering is eternal. that torment is ceaseless. for it has been and as it shall be.

[fivechairsthing]

For the believers, and I have said this before, the crux of the test rests upon my mind. You guys have a certain expectation that upon the meet for the first time, perhaps something will take place in my mind, something will click from the prior persuasion—certain offbeats that will hopefully reach my subconscious. Maybe certain logic as well—but we all know fair well that when it comes to matters of faith, it's either you believe or you don't. And perhaps you don't want the clicking to happen before the meet, for then the compelling nature of a test will be gone.

You see the art and stories in the context of a test. Lending itself to a range of interpretations so that I have to make my own decisions. The non believers don't see it in that context and that's fine for the art allows for that.

It needs no saying but I myself don't see the art from the test lens. I see it— if I ever do see it since for the purpose of TTR triggers I'm supposed to not know certain things in advance until I can know them— as a way for me to fulfil the purpose of this supposedly good deliberate project, starting with the assumption that my five chairs is not a random thing. For I'm a non-believer. And without saying, I look forward to spending my life with the ever adorable and cheeky and intelligent Salt Fish.

To a believer, such non-believing is a natural part of the test. For what is a test if not difficult, and what is more difficult than trying to convince an agnostic he's the son of God. But it makes sense, if the son of God knows he's the son of God, given biblical referencing he can probably deduce what's he not supposed to do assuming such things don't come in tandem with identity-knowing.

And the way I see that is, A good deliberate project it certainly is, for if things are made slightly more obvious, the believers will not be engaged, for the test context will have no place in their minds. And without saying, all this will make sense to them eventually. Why they must be so engaged. If you read the Bible, why do you think Jesus never had to be persuaded that he's the Son of God? Is it because we live in a different time with a different psychology? Is it because the mission is different this time round? Or is it because of something else? Of course, I'm now speaking to you in the context of a half-believer so as to further engage you, if that can be believed, that is.

To end, just remember this. You see this as a test. I don't. And it's fine.

[xoulie]

MARTYR: SALVATION IN ONESELF

**unfinished

Ephesians 2:8-9: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Although no longer religious, the idea of salvation was always a recurring thought for me that started in my youth. The idea of being saved from all of your troubles, all of the worries and doubts in your mind about yourself and the world around you, sounded cleansing to me. Being powerless in my own circumstances and needing to be freed by some preternatural, omnipotent being made it all the more easier to keep a positive outlook on life, it gave faith to me when I shouldn’t have had any to begin with. However, rereading this quote after not only losing my faith with God but also with myself, I’ve come to realize that faith isn’t something that is given from one entity to another, but instead formed in one entity itself; that faith is not given but created from within. 

A quote from K.A. Hill says, “I believe we are our own gods, and our own devils. Good and evil doesn’t exist out there in the world, it exists in each and every one of us.” Even in the agnostic/atheistic point of view one could still apply that biblical quote to their own life. You are not merely a slave to the influences that challenge you, but instead you are the influences to your own challenges. Unfortunately, the clichés of life are true–-when you reach a blockage in the road you are given two options, you can either sit down and give up or you can find another way around. And although the idea of taking the high road is easier said than done, people often omit the road taken to the roadblock. They forget that the passage taken could have been rocky from the start, and when you’ve already been stuck on this difficult, unforgiving road it’s harder to keep the same morale and push onward beyond that.

In that case, it’s easier to give up. It’s easier to tire out, and just wait and hope that someone or something will find you and save you–but the path is yours. People can provide advice and motivate you throughout your journey, but you are the only one who can get up and keep pursuing the odyssey you’ve been sent on. No one can complete the journey for you and there is certainly no one who can carry you through it. You have to be the one to continue. But how? What’s the point? In our pursuit of goals there are times where we start to lose faith, to question why we are even on the journey in the first place. And although answers may vary from person to person, the whole point of being on the road is where you are going. Sometimes following the road does lead to your destination, but that destination isn’t always desired. Even in that scenario, deciding that what you once wanted or what you initially thought to be purposeful in your life may not seem like the best option anymore, and that conclusion is just as important. 

As Hill said, “good” and “evil” can only exist in ourselves. You cannot be one or the other, but instead both. In the same vein, the world is neither black nor white, but rather gray. You can’t expect that an action is 100% good or 100% bad but consider how it affects you and the people in your life. In all truth, some things don’t get better and never change for our entire lives. But, the thing that can change is our outlook on the situation, and with time our vision becomes unclouded and we are able to look at the situation from a new point of view. You stop seeing things for how you want them to be and instead start seeing things for what they are. You neglect the initial good or bad parts and focus on what you could have done differently; what other path you could have taken to get to the same spot. Or perhaps more commonly, “how could I have changed my circumstances for the better?”

We, as people, naturally strive to get the best pick of everything. The best food, the best, education, the best jobs; we seek the ultimate forms of satisfaction, and when a conflict or situation doesn’t result in the best outcome we tend to beat ourselves up over the fact that it wasn’t maximized for our gratification. And because of that our attempt now seems futile. “What was the point of trying if it couldn’t be perfect?” The truth is that perfectionism isn’t the best, and in fact in our search for the perfect thing we are unable to see the things that were already the best choice for us. Perfect isn’t a criteria or a list that needs to be followed but a feeling of contentment that we are all able to feel. All of us have wants and desires and more often than not those desires won’t truly make us happy, but instead give us a temporary feeling of happiness. We are under the assumption that our lives aren’t perfect and that by changing something or gaining something we will finally be able to live the life that we want. In some cases that’s true, but for the majority of us, we have everything that we could want in terms of physical and emotional needs; we simply forget that in our pursuit of temporary happiness.

[chthonic--yonic]

the journey so far

I feel like I should have a little info here about myself and why I have this blog, so...here it is.

I have spent my entire life searching for answers to questions like the meaning of life, what else exists besides (or beyond) human consciousness, how did all this get started, and why did it get started. I was raised in an agnostic Jewish household and explored my birth religion, as well as many others, before considering myself an atheist for many years. I couldn't believe in the God of my ancestors, or in any god whatsoever. For one, I refused to believe in a male creator-god; I felt strongly that He was an invention used to establish male dominance and control women. For another, I'm a scientist, and admitting I believed in any divine force at all felt like a rejection of science itself. (I no longer believe this.)

At the same time, I have always had dreams that come true days, weeks, or months later; I'm drawn, over and over again, to religious paths that venerate nature; and I realized that when I explored these paths, I felt a sense of connection and peace unlike anything else. And I realized that I could forge my own solitary spiritual path, compatible with science, compatible with a divine female force (this is different from the divine feminine). So that's what I'm doing.

I've dipped my toe into Wicca, and I enjoy reading the work of Dianic Wiccans in particular, but I don't call myself Wiccan. I don't know what I am, or if there is a label for it. I don't think I need one. All I know is that there is something out there, things I'm inclined to think of as forces or energies that aren't understood by current science and might not be fully comprehensible to humans at all. I think of goddesses and gods as archetypes or facets of these forces, which is how humans relate to them. I have no idea if I'm right or not; my opinions may change dramatically over time. This is just the start of my adventure.

Perhaps due to my Jewish upbringing, the facet of the divine force I call the Goddess or Divine Creatrix who speaks to me most is Eve, who chose knowledge over submission to patriarchal authority, and thus gave her daughters the free will to make the same choice.

[littlemomentsofgold]

3, 9, 12, 15 & 16!

(ask meme here)

3. Did your Tav receive any formal or informal education? If yes, how well did they learn? If no, why not?

She was very fortunate that she shared a private tutor with her half-sister when staying with her father to supplement her frequently interrupted schooling. She was even more fortunate that that tutor was willing to experiment with his teaching style, and recognised (and nurtured) her natural curiosity. Rote memorisation of facts was not a strength.  The balance between learning and schooling was a very delicate one indeed.

9. What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

She was about to leave to scout for a caravan to Candlekeep - a much smaller job than usual, but she was trying not to go far from the city while her sister was pregnant. It meant she was in all her gear, at least! Pity she hadn’t picked up her bag yet. And that her hawk got left behind. Oh, and the matter of traumatising her father by vanishing in front of his eyes.

12. What opinion does your Tav have about the Gods?

Almost aggressively agnostic. Sure, they’re real, and yes, they’re powerful. But if they’re barred from interfering in mortal matters, she sees no reason to get involved in theirs. She dreams of being a healer but refuses to pledge herself as a cleric. Once she reconnects to her druidic beliefs, they’re aimed at nature itself rather than an avatar of it. The easiest way to annoy her is to point out her uncanny resemblance to Mielikki (ranger, druid, reddish hair, born in autumn, calm disposition, has seen an actual unicorn). She’s heard it so many times.

Let me tell you, the events of the game do not challenge her opinions overly much. Between Gale, Shadowheart, Aylin, the three Chosen…

15. What motivates your Tav to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

She tries to avoid it. Really, she tries. But if she can avoid a fight, and spare lives… how can she justify resisting? She just tells herself it’s supposed to make her feel horrid. But when her companions use it to share parts of themselves, she holds that gift close.

16. How does your Tav feel about killing?

She was raised a hunter. She respects a good, clean kill. She respects the instinct and fight to survive. But the sheer amount that’s expected in their fight is exhausting her spirit. It just seems such a waste of life.

[witchtryals]

Making Change

If it were easy it wouldn't be change.

Ok, that's it for being deep. But what if all the complications of "change" are a result of generational trauma?

I know, I know, just another #millennial not wanting to take responsibility for their own life... #projectingmuchboomer but think about it for another minute.

How many times have you told your parents that something was "difficult to do" like math or science and got told "oh, I never got it in school either". The resulting train of thought is "oh so its genetic, we are both bad at XYZ".

But what if that just cemented a mental block that causes the triggered gut response of "I can't do that"?

As I got older, I found that there was math and science I was good at and that made sense to my brain that wasn't taught in my school.

There is also the physical aspects of generational trauma.

#ripOliviaNewtonJohn

"Oh your aunt was heavy as a child"

"Oh your grandma got white hair young"

"Oh your great uncle used to have that"

I'm going to hazard a guess that at some point in your life something you do or don't like about you physical appearance and attributes, has been credited to a relation of some kind.

Gods know that my aunt has told me enough times that I "look like her" that the thought of getting back into healthy weight seems impossible.

Those thoughts, coupled with chronic stress and fatigue makes it seem like EVERYTHING is working against me. Like the universe itself is part of the plot. I couldn't get the "I can't do it" thought spiral out of my head. So I decided I needed to get back into my Craft.

I've been a practicing witch since I was about 12 years old. I come from a christian household, but that has changed over the years. We were raised Spanish-Roman catholic-- iykyk-- but now, I'm open pagan, my sister is atheist, my mom and dad are agnostic(mom more so than dad), and my Friendboy is self religious.

When I tell you this house is peaceful and the vibes are immaculate.

As adults who are owning their truths, myself and my parents and sister have never been closer. Now we aren't having to hide pieces of ourselves from each other its amazing the relationships you can have with family.

And I have lost weight from when I moved back into my parent's house. I was less than 10 pounds away from 300, which is the heaviest I've ever been. I'm currently at 262, still high but less than were I was. I want to be in "onderland", like 190 or so. And before you go "that's too high, women of short stature need to be XXX" EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT.

And I have high testosterone and back when I worked out, male muscle density.

Sooooo I know that my body now, at 5ft3in and 262, I wear a size 14/16 pant, which I've been told "can't be right" and if I start working out, I tone up quickly.

I just haven't been able to find the motivation.

The voices in my brain can be cruel and tell me there is not point to try. But recently, with the Lionsgate portal, I felt a shift inside.

I want to be the very best version of who I can be now. Not who I was or who I used to want to be. I need to see clearly where I am now and do the work needed to become the best that I can be.

So that meant change. And change is hard. But here are the changes I've started making: *Putting my phone away by 1030pm and lights off by 11 *Waking up by 630 to let my brain wake up slowly instead of waking up late and stressed *Sorting and taking supplements and figuring out what makes my body feel better *Making our bed in the AM, no particular time just aiming for before noon (I work from home) *Better haircare and working to find a routine that works for me *Finding a skincare routine with products I like, I prefer minimal ingredients and as natural as possible *Remembering that "SELF CARE" is not a waste of time and that not only is it good for my mental and physical health, its good for my spirit *SHADOW WORK IS NOT JUST IMPORTANT BUT NECESSARY

This is just the start of the changes I'm making for the better, more will be added as I make process.

So like John McClaine said:

I am Angel, your hostess with the mostess, your lovely WitchTryal, stay tuned for more.

[psychoticwillgraham]

ok long post incoming about my spiritual/religious beliefs bc im having a bit of a realization of where I stand on this

ok so I’m gonna state this right off the bat: i absolutely don’t believe in the judeo-christian god that the majority of conservatives do (and regular christians), so when I refer to god, im referring to the force/forces out there that I believe to be something similar to. ok got that out of the way, so let’s go on.

obviously y’all know about the religious trauma I’ve endured my whole life, so trying to figure out what I believe is definitely pretty difficult. i was a staunch agnostic until grandma passed. I’ve seen things that are definitely signs to me that she’s looking out for me from beyond and had dreams, but I’ve still been denying the possibility of an afterlife or places where spirits go. these things are too weird to be coincidences which is why it’s got me thinking.

do I believe in the general idea of heaven and hell? yes, but not like what Christianity believes them to be. say all you want about how supernatural sucked ass, but the idea of personal heavens has rlly stuck with me, bc heaven as a general concept wouldn’t be the same for everyone obviously. what one considers to be heaven could be absolute hell for someone else, which I’ll get to in a minute. i believe that ‘heaven’ is whatever you want it to be. actually, I believe in more of a general afterlife like purgatory, where the vast majority of people go, even exceptionally good ppl bc they don’t get an upgrade just for being ‘better’ in life. just bc you did more impactful things doesn’t mean you get the special treatment in death. y’all might think it’s kinda mean, like you don’t get rewarded for good work. but personally, everyone who wasn’t reprehensible or utterly vile gets the same treatment in the end.

I do believe in the whole ‘veil’ thing between worlds, bc I’ve had encounters with what would be considered ghosts/spirits before and I have a sort of ‘sensitivity’ to paranormal stuff. call me stupid for believing in that, but a friend’s kid has the ability to actually see and talk to spirits and I 100% believe him. i have a thing where I’m very susceptible to paranormal ‘signals’ as I’d like to call it. like I can easily see odd patterns of happenings/‘signs’ from spirits (like grandma) and recognize that someone is trying to tell someone else something. I’m also prone to having dreams involving spirits like grandma, and the one I had might’ve actually been a sign about my cousin possibly dying, (he’s alive, but he’s got some sort of cognitive degeneration issue) but that’s another post for another day. so I don’t consider myself a ‘medium’ or anything and I don’t offer my ‘help’ to ppl bc it’s not like that.

now, hell. i don’t believe in a centralized hell (but Dante’s version of hell definitely rules) like Christianity, but there’s definitely a place in the afterlife for the most vile of people (think Pat Robertson). just the like the personal heavens, I believe that there’s personal hells which for Robertson, would be a gay pride parade (and no I’m not joking) for example.

is there a devil? nope. my whole thing is, is that there’s a mix of forces in the universe, call them god or satan, it’s up to you. but since the universe is so vast and we understand very little of it, there’s got to be forces out there beyond our control. because sometimes things really do happen for a reason (like my grandma’s passing which made me confront my issues with myself and is leading me down a better path I hope) as a way to guide you. and no, I don’t believe that’s the case for horrific events like natural disasters and abuse. i believe that the universe itself is purely neutral on the alignment scale. the forces don’t discriminate on who is affected by everything, so everyone is fair game.

that may seem a little harsh, just like how I think nobody gets a special reward after death no matter how good they were because we’re all on the same level playing field spiritually. it’s all just straight up neutral. I rlly hope y’all are understanding what I’m trying to say. everyone (talking about the vast majority) is equal in death and that’s how it should be. the forces may push you a certain direction, but you have the choice of listening or not and you won’t be punished for choosing ‘wrong’ bc there is no true wrong choice. it’s all based on how you think about it.

so in conclusion: i don’t fucking know what’s on the other side. fate is a very tricky concept that I haven’t fully formed an opinion on yet. and nothing is truly set in stone, it’s up to you but you won’t be punished for choosing a different path. I had that near death experience in 2019 that landed me in the psych ward for the last time bc of the overdose with the alcohol, but I didn’t see Heaven or hell or god, it was just an out of body experience and briefly, nothing. shit’s all weird and we’ll never truly understand it, we’re not meant to, so do whatever the fuck you want in life, bc you only get one actual life.

god that was long and stupid but I just needed to get this out.