#whatever ill scroll and find him lol

[emry-stars-art]

Sorry if this has been asked before but for your merpeople au would Aaron also be a shark like Andrew or would he be something else?

Yes Aaron is also a shark! It's been like.. almost a full year since I drew him tho oops

Best examples are here and here!

Find the mer aus masterpost here 💕

[al-the-remix]

TikTok Chef!Buck AU: several sentences sunday (or something like that)

I'm close to finishing the fic I've been working on so I finally felt like I could write a little something based off this headcannon without feeling too guilty about it, lol. 2k of mostly crack, please enjoy.

It all starts when Tommy’s stuck on his couch for a week with a sprained knee. He wishes he could claim it happened doing something heroic–or at the very least badass–but in truth it was the result of letting his ego get the best of him at the squat rack. 

Lucy stops by a few times to keep him company, which really means letting herself in unannounced with her spare key, eating all the leftovers in his fridge, and offering an unsolicited running critique of whatever show he’s watching. Today it was Below Deck reruns. 

“If I ever decide to take a vacation on a boat, tackle me, this shit does not look worth it.”

“You really don’t have to be here you know,” Tommy says, leaning over to grab some chips from the near-empty bag she was cradling before they were all gone. He’d been looking forward to eating those for dinner and feeling sorry for himself. 

Lucy just snorts. “Please, if I wasn’t here you’d already be up to something ill advised. I caught you looking up deck chair patterns earlier, power tools don’t go well with injuries, Tommy, even if it’s only carpentry.”

Well, she had him there. 

At least she had the decency to order them Chinese take out for dinner so he wouldn’t have to Instacart a can of soup or something equally pathetic. 

Before she left she made a grabby hand at him. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?” Tommy asks, already suspicious. 

She met his suspicion with boredom. “Don’t ask stupid questions, just do it.”

Rolling his eyes, he hands it over, giving into her whim, and maybe he should find it a little more unsettling that she already seems to know his password off by heart. 

She clicks around for long enough that Tommy starts getting nervous: what was the last text message he sent? Was it embarrassing? Were all his nudes still in that locked folder? Did she know the password for that too? Just when he was going to start asking questions she tosses his phone back. “Here, this should keep you entertained for a while,” she explains as he scrambles to catch it. “My niece wastes hours of her life on this crap.”

“Such ringing endorsement,” Tomy grumbles, she’s downloaded some kind of video app onto his phone. TikTok. Perfect. He’d heard of that one, apparently it was single handedly ruining a whole generation’s attention span and the Chinese government was using it to spy on the inner lives of teenagers with stupid haircuts and a critical lack of social skills. 

“Are you sure you didn’t just give me some kind of virus?” Tommy asks, clicking around the home page arbitrarily, the UI didn’t make a lick of sense. 

“Har, har. You were always good at picking up new skills, I’m sure you’ll figure this out in no time. I have faith in you,” she says, clapping him hard enough on the shoulder to make him wince. 

He finds his profile page by total mistake. His username reads: benchedcockwrangler.

“How do I change this?” he asks, waving his phone at her as she makes for the door. 

“You don’t,” she says, without looking back. “Don’t stay up on that thing all night, it will ruin your sleep schedule!”

Tommy winces as the front door slams and sighs. He’ll figure out how to change it later. After all, beggars can’t be choosers and three days into his mandatory medical leave he’s already so bored he’s ready to stab his eyes out with hot pokers just to mix it up a bit. 

He scrolls through the app, and based on most of what he sees he finds himself unable to justify its existence in the first place. It feels like every video he watches drags him into a deeper alternate universe where everyone’s wholeheartedly competing for the top of the podium at the Darwin Awards. 

There’s a woman digging tunnels under her apartment that Tommy is positive are not up to code (that’s a call just waiting to happen); and two young ladies mixing cocktails of a concerning hue and variety at random local establishments (not necessarily anything that would warrant a trip to the ER but potentially a health code violation); and what seems like an ungodly number of men hosting podcasts (Tommy is pretty sure that even during his darkest days rotting in the closet he had a better batting average picking up women than any of these bozos.)

Tommy’s eyes start to glaze over as he scrolls past comedians, and political commentators, and people reviewing romance novels, and–how has it already been forty minutes?

He’s about ready to give up and throw his phone across the room and leave it there until Lucy shows up tomorrow and he can make her delete it off his phone, when catchy music, an arm roped with muscle, and a criminally tight shirt sleeve catches his attention. 

It’s some kind of cooking video and his first impression is: how is anyone supposed to understand what’s going on with edits that fast? His second impression is: hot man. Man hot.

Soon his brain is catching up with his eyes, kickstarting like a toddler being exposed to sugar for the first time. 

Cooking might be a generous description for what’s going on here. The man is obviously skilled, but the main focus of the video seems to be how hot he looks in an apron (very) and whether it’s possible to bring half a peach to completion by finger blasting the pit out of it (not like, whether or not you should pre-bake your tart crust to achieve an ideal texture). 

Tommy has to watch it twice just to fully absorb everything that’s going on. He’s making some kind of deconstructed peach crumble topped with an obscene amount of whipped cream and steak with fries that looks fancier than anything Tommy’s ever eaten at a restaurant. 

Half way through the video the man wipes down the worktop shirtless with a cloth sudsy enough to make Tommy’s mouth go instantly dry then suddenly wet enough he’s forced to swallow. 

He clicks through to ChefFirehose’s profile just to, you know, get a better sample size. Tommy’s not above letting himself be manipulated by a man with biceps like melons and a cute smile. 

His profile description reads: LA resident, self-taught, putting out fires and saving lives in my spare time. Just here to give the food the appreciation it deserves. Let me show off for you 😉.

Tommy thinks this guy must be new to town, because living nearly a decade even in a city as sprawling and overcrowded as LA, he doesn’t know how he could miss running into this guy on the job. There was no way he wouldn’t remember a guy this hot even through turnouts, a helmet, and smeared in a thick layer of soot.

He starts working his way back through ChefFirehose’s videos, and some are admittedly a little less chaotic than the rest, but all of them are just tongue-and-cheek enough that Tommy feels confident he’s just one in close to a million people in on a joke and not enabling someone’s very real personality disorder. 

He’s stuck somewhere between disbelief and admiration. He definitely wouldn't have the balls to post this on the internet for everyone to see and so obviously thirst over. He braves the comment section on a few of the videos and it’s just a litany of horned-up men and women trying their best to make ChefFirehose laugh, or get in his pants, or both. He replies to almost all of his comments with either a smirking emoji or acting deliberately oblivious when someone tries to bait him into giving up the bit. Tommy finds him funny and maybe a little more endearing than he should after ten videos. 

Tommy can’t really blame them for trying to shoot their shot so shamelessly. ChefFirehose’s wardrobe consists of polos plastered so tight to his skin that Tommy was mildly concerned about restricted blood circulation, dress shirts buttoned dangerously low, and slacks that wrap snugly around miles of long, toned leg. 

Those weren’t Tommy’s favorite looks though. No, every so often a video would start and he’s be dressed down in soft looking sweatpants, a baseball cap pushed on backwards plastering his auburn curls to his forehead, and a white tank top–or if Tommy was really lucky, no shirt at all (sometimes not even the apron which Tommy had mixed feelings about...), his muscled arms and shoulders on full display. He’s got tattoos decorating his forearms that Tommy can’t quite make out, a collection of fine lines on pale skin like thin ribbons of chocolate drizzled over a crape. 

Those videos are most often breakfast related and ChefFirehose is barefoot in his kitchen, the warm sunlight casting his face in gold. He paints such an enticing tableau it’s all too easy for Tommy’s brain to plop himself right down in that scene, imagination running wild. He can so easily picture what it would be like: in that kitchen, feeling the warm cast of sun on his face and getting to watch built, handsome man make him breakfast with that flirty confidence of his. 

Tommy bookmarks a video of him making an omelet, the way he handles the eggs making Tommy blush like he’s a schoolgirl and not a man pushing forty. He feels less guilty about getting hard over it on the sofa surrounded by takeout containers than he probably should.  

The screen goes suddenly black and Tommy’s faced with his own reflection in the finger smudged screen, chin rolls and all. Fuck. He reaches for his charger. God, his life was depressing at the moment, and apparently he really needs to get laid.

So yeah, by the time his two weeks of recovery are up he’s feeling a little stir crazy in an entirely different way than before. He’s never been more glad to get back to work, put some of this weirdness behind him and get some much needed distance from his phone.

That’s only part of the reason why he doesn’t even think twice when Howie calls him for a favor. A big favor. And that was only the first of many surprises the universe had in store for him, apparently.

Even fully clothed in his LFD uniform Tommy recognises him. Evan. Evan, Evan, Evan, (Tommy repeats over and over in his head until it drowns out every other name Tommy’s assigned him the past few weeks: slutty egg guy, ChefBigDick, totally off limits boyfriend material–just to name a few).

“So you’re the guy who’s gonna fly us into a hurricane.” Evan sounds a little breathless, like maybe he jogged all the way here, and Tommy chalks it up to the high that accompanies stealing government property. “Chim said you were the best pilot he knows and good in a pinch, but I still thought there was no way anyone that good would agree to something this crazy.”

Tommy’s definitely starting to feel a little crazy. Evan’s still shaking his hand. His grip is solid, his fingers long and nimble, surprisingly soft against this palm (he must really lather on the hand lotion) and Tommy can’t stop thinking about all the talented things he knows they can do. 

 “That’s me. Though I’m pretty sure I’m just the only pilot Howie knows who's in town at the moment.” 

“You look good to me–capable, I mean.” Evan gives him a solid smack on the shoulder with his free hand. His mouth does something funny like he's trying to hold back the sheer force of his excitement by his teeth. “Solid.”

His eyes are even bigger and brighter in person, smile softer, even taller than Tommy presumed. Howie’s giving them a weird look from over Evan’s shoulder. The other man with them, Eddie, isn’t paying them any attention, checking out the other helicopters parked on the apron instead, and Tommy forces himself to pull his hand out of Evan’s warm grip. 

Tommy clears his throat. “Good to know. I’ll show you guys the bird we’ll be taking. I've got her all gassed up and ready to go.”

He just met his (internet) celebrity crush and the man of his dreams, and now Tommy was going to get him killed in one of the most spectacular ways imaginable. It seems like they’re all headed for the Darwin Awards this time.

[phyrestartr]

Till Death Do Us Part (Miguel x Reader)

Miguel x Husband!Reader W/C: 9.5k

#NSFW, exhibitionist kink, praise kink, hurt/comfort, infidelity, toxic relationships, brief verbal abuse, mending relationships, mentions of medication, mentions of mental illness, difficult/complex feelings and emotions, things work out in the end, nobody dies, the zombies aren't that important, old men just really going through it

Note: I cried a lot writing this lol please also cry and enjoy! (I also tried my best with the Spanish and tried to reference good sources, but I apologize if it sounds whack lol I only know EN and JP o(--( )

-- Till Death Do Us Part --

"(Name), where the fuck are you?" Miguel ran his hand through his hair as he watched the news, as he stared outside at the cascade of chaos. He waited for you to pick up the phone. He'd already called so many times, but you weren't picking up. Why weren't you fucking picking up? 

"Miguel, he's probably fine," Dana cooed as her arms looped around him from behind. "You need to worry about what we're gonna do." 

Miguel shook his head and shoved Dana's arms off of him. "Our daughter–Gabriella–" 

"You mean our daughter?" Her tone was vile. So, so fucking vile.

"Shut up," Miguel barked before ripping the phone from his ear when your voicemail picked up again. He shot you another text, asking where you were before his fidgety fingers scrolled the log up and down, cruelly reminding himself of the messages he'd ignored from you just a few days ago. 

November 18th 7:04am babe come home 7:04am please 12:19pm we can talk about it  12:20pm we'll figure it out 12:46pm gabi misses you 9:34pm call me tomorrow

November 19th 7:35am you still ignoring me? 7:40am gabi wants to call you 7:41am you gonna answer if it's her? 8:05am i'll tell her you're busy with work 9:50pm i miss you

November 21st  9:56pm call me

November 23rd 12:01am i shot someone  12:01am i had to 12:01am but i can't stop thinking about it  12:32am i need you  1:12am please 2:07am miguel

November 30th 7:16am miggs shit's crazy outside 7:17am lock the doors, don't let anyone inside 7:17am maybe stock up on food first idk this might take a while  7:18am but DON'T help anyone who's bit or injured 7:19am they evacuated gabi's school but i don't fucking know where they're going 7:19am i'm gonna find her, i promise 7:20am i love you. stay safe.

December 2nd  3:05am i love you 3:06am i'm sorry

Miguel rubbed his eyes. He sped past his own wall of text starting from that day, December 3rd, and sent another plea, another wish that you'd respond back sooner than a week from now.

"Oh my God, just give it up–" 

"Dana, shut the fuck up, just shut up." 

He called you again. 

And this time, you answered. 

Miguel's heart jumped. "(Name)?" 

"Babe?" You sounded like you were panting, like you were straining against something. "Are–are you okay? Where are you?" A string of coughs punched out of your lungs in rough staccato, pinching Miguel's nerves with every ghastly beat. He was scared. He was so fucking scared. 

"I--I'm," Miguel stammered, still unable to have that conversation, still too much of a coward in the end. "Does it matter?" 

"Just keep the doors locked," you continued. "Keep 'em locked, and…and I dunno if you're in a tower or a house or fucking whatever, but don't leave until things get quiet." You picked yourself up from the ground, Miguel could tell by the scratch of gravel echoing wherever you were. "Don't get bit. Don't help anyone who is bit. Put yourselves first." 

"But, I–you–do you have Gabi?" Panic gripped his throat as jets flew overhead, high above the city. The engines roared a gruesome apology, a sound Ouranos himself must have made when his own children slew him, so filled with godly enmity. 

Then, molten death rained on the city. Miguel stared at roaring explosions dotting the cityscape, watching pillars of flame feed into the world's chaos. His hands trembled when the same carnage screeched through your phone. 

"I'll find her. I-I promise, Miguel, I'll find her and--and I'll–shit."  

There was gunfire. Gunfire encased in wild snarling. It devoured the crack of plastic hitting concrete, the noises you gasped out, the–

Silence.

Miguel hated his mind. He hated how it remembered that one moment so clearly, like it'd happened just a minute before the present. Sometimes, when he felt like torturing himself more, he wondered what your face looked like in those last moments. He wondered where your life flickered out. He wondered when he'd see you stumbling through the streets and have to put a bullet in your head. 

But he'd force good memories to the surface when he found the light growing too dim; that confession and first kiss, starry nights spent lazing on the hood of your jeep, the look on your face when you finally held little Gabriella for the first time–it all chased away the darkness. It all made him feel whole again, it let him see clearly again. But with clarity came the difficulty of accepting what he'd lost.

He found a way to do it. He found a way to talk about you, too. It was hard not to–your old colleagues, other officers of the lost world, were an integral part of the Alchemax colony. Jeff Morales and George Stacy, amongst a few others, had known you, and by proxy they knew Miguel.

"He was a good guy," Jeff had mentioned when the moment felt right. "Bragged about having the best-looking and smartest partner around. Now, I ain't gonna say he was right, but he wasn't wrong." That brought warmth to Miguel's chest, but guilt smothered it too quickly. 

"Never stopped talking about your daughter either." George smiled when he recalled it, but it was something small and morose. "Gabriella, right? Yeah, he said she was a smart cookie. Kind of a brat, apparently, but hey, with that guy as her father? Hah! I'm not surprised." 

Miguel liked having them around. He liked the happy memories they brought to your name.

But on bad days, vulnerable days, Miguel wanted to break their necks and watch them turn so he could kill them again in their undeath; they still had their children, their families. How could they bring up what he'd lost while they still had everything? 

Today was one of those days, too, one where your memory hurt just a little more than usual. Maybe it came with the snow whirling in the blue-drenched outdoors, or the sudden darkness the world lost itself in. But he knew the frostbite decaying his heart came from the eternal proof of your lost existence:

December 2nd  3:05am i love you 3:06am i'm sorry

Why did you apologize? Miguel sighed, and carded a hand through his hair as he paced Alchemax's halls. Enough of that, Miguel. You need to focus. Focus. 

And once he stepped foot in the control room, the routine morning check commenced: doors remained sealed with no record of tampering, security cameras still functioned, the solar panels still collected more than enough light to keep things rolling. Good. Perfect. 

"Hey, hey, how's it lookin'?" Peter asked, a cup of coffee in one hand and his little girl tucked in the other arm. It would've been a wholesome sight, if Peter hadn't ruined it with a too-loud slurp from his mug. Ugh. 

"Fine," Miguel grumbled. "Everything's in the green. Nothing to worry about." He ran a hand over his face with a sigh. "Just have to clear the snow off the solar panels later today." 

"Oooh, snow! It is that time of the year, huh? December already! Who woulda thought. Time goes by pretty quick when you're not worried about getting eaten all the time." Peter looked at his little May and cooed. "Isn't that right, Mayday?" 

Miguel rolled his eyes fondly and shook his head. "If you're that excited about snow, I'll put you on shovelling duty, Parker." 

"Oh, wow, I'm suddenly deaf and can't hear you." Peter shuffled away in his stupid slippers and stupid bathrobe. "Oh, right, right, MJ made bread! Can you believe it? I feel like I haven't had a bread-carb in forever! We really gotta do another supply run or we're eating canned beans all winter long. Y'know what? I'll put it on the 'to-do' list!" 

Miguel threw a glare at Peter over his shoulder. He was annoying, but he wasn't wrong. They did need more food, more supplies, more ways to sustain themselves. Scavenging the dregs of supermarkets and convenience stores wasn't cutting it anymore; there were too many mouths to feed, and shitty, packaged foods wouldn't suffice much longer.

Miguel braced his hands on the centre console after pulling up a satellite map of the surrounding area. The lab they called home laid nestled away from prying eyes of citizens, making it a safer place to start to rebuild the semblance of a normal life. Though, at the same time, it made it more difficult to get in and out of the city in good time. They had to pick their destination on the map, calculate the time it'd take to get there, and then execute the plan with little to no hiccups. It was hard. It was a pain in the ass. But it had to be done.

Miguel took his time scanning through the map, trying to spot any buildings they hadn't already marked off as empty and not worth the trip. These days, they had to get creative, they had to think of places that'd have food where people wouldn't expect, where the average scavenger wouldn't think to look and–

"Shit," Miguel breathed before rushing to move the map. "How could I forget?"

He spotted a small building on the map, one they'd never ventured to, one they never thought to go to. A chain link fence surrounded the perimeter, giving about five metres worth of breathing room around the building. Clusters of huge garden pots dotted the area randomly, along with whatever outdoor trees and shrubs that'd survived all these years on their own.

Miguel covered his mouth as he smiled.

"You might've just saved us, viejo." 

Because you were a country boy. A farmer's son. 

You convinced (begged) him to pull over, to go to the new garden store that'd appeared not too long ago. Miguel, far too smitten with you, couldn't find the heart to say 'no' to the excitement buzzing in your voice. 

The store was filled with beautiful plants, ranging from common houseplants, to tropical rarities that Miguel never knew existed. All sorts of bushy plants, tall single-leafers, and vining beauties lined the displays and bathed in the gentle, constant mist raining down on them. It really felt like a tropical jungle landed in New York. 

You'd sauntered over to the seed section while Miguel wandered through all the store had to offer before finding you again. You had several sachets in your hands and scanned the shelves for anything else that piqued your interest; they were all vegetable seeds, stuff like corn and green beans, tomatoes and onions, but the occasional herb showed itself as well. 

To Miguel, raising vegetables seemed like a cute hobby. But to you, raising crops meant revisiting your childhood. 

"You wanna get some?" Miguel asked. He looped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder as he read all the different seed names on display. 

"Yeah. I mean…maybe. Dunno if a vegetable garden'll go with the house." You laughed softly, a little self-deprecatingly, before you reached to put the packets back. "I just–I don't know." 

"I think it'll work." A smile warmed Miguel's face as pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder. "We can make a greenhouse. A big one. In the backyard." He kissed your neck next. "You can show me the farmboy fantasy." 

You laughed, turned in his arms, and kissed him. "Done."

Miguel crept up to the garden centre with Hobie and Gwen in tow. Travelling anywhere from the safe confines of Alchemax was something of a nightmare, but Miguel was used to it–despite being the man who knew how to run the building, he too often volunteered to head out on supply runs himself. He needed the space to think, to feel the darkness they’d found themselves in, and to feel the light of the sun on his skin to remind himself it wasn’t over. Because it was far from over. 

The garden centre was surrounded by chain link fences encircling the entirety of the building, the very same ones Miguel had seen from the satellite’s view. Honestly, he found himself surprised to see just how good the place looked–the windows were mostly intact, the fences hadn’t been torn through, the doors were still sealed, and a row of crippled undead and frozen re-deads dotted the perimeter, but none were inside. It didn’t seem like any had ever been inside, actually.

“That’s…kinda weird, right?” Gwen murmured as she adjusted her toque. “This place feels like…like it never went under, or something.” 

“Damn near stuck in the past, I’d say,” Hobie agreed. He looked to Miguel. “Fishy’s an understatement, yeah? Might be some not-so-dead-yets in there.” 

Miguel took a deep breath as he thought. “It’s a plant store. Not the highest priority for scavengers like us.” He headed forward, grip tight on his hunting knife. “Try not to shoot. Not unless there’s a runner.” 

“Better not be any runners,” Gwen grumbled. “It’s December. Hopefully they’re all freezing to double-death right now.” 

Hobie scoffed a smile. “If not, we just give ‘em an early Christmas present, hey?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure they’d love their brains blown out.” 

“Eh. I would.” 

Miguel rolled his eyes as the youngins bickered softly behind him. There was no point stopping them–trying to dad them out in the wilds of New York just gave Miguel a bigger headache, and too often ended in a louder match of bickering and scolding, which then often resulted in the undead stumbling their way. It was always a mess. Maybe he should stop bringing the dynamic duo with him. 

But you’d known them. You were fond of them, too, always letting them off the hook with a slap on the wrist when they were caught vandalizing buildings or stealing from stores when they were teenagers. You laughed when you told Miguel stories about them, about how Hobie’d call you “officer tall, sunny and handsome” to get on your good side (which worked), and how Gwen would try to bribe you with car-washings and babysitting to get you to not tell her dad what happened. You knew they were good kids, just bored and too smart for their own good. Miguel knew that, too; the two of you were thick as thieves back in the day, total petty-crime masterminds. Maybe Hobie and Gwen were your dark apprentices, in a way. 

Miguel smiled faintly. He missed the days where you both broke into abandoned buildings, haunted houses and everything else inbetween to fool around and fuck. It’d always be filmed, much to Miguel’s embarrassment, but watching the videos back always made him feel…wanted. Appreciated. Like a rare piece of art. 

You’d always cheese it up and make it sound like some sort of bad porno or found-footage film, like you didn't just break into Chuck E. Cheese to fuck in front of the creepy animatronics. Breaking the law got you excited, as ironic as that was for a future cop. Miguel thought you were a freak. Miguel was kind of a freak too, though. 

“Fucking God,” Miguel moaned, somehow louder than the squeak of the table hosting your feverish coupling. His hips bucked and rolled against yours in a desperate attempt to keep up with your brutal, delicious pace, and his thighs dug into your sides with his hands clutching to your shoulders for dear life. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you mumbled into his ear. Miguel’s body gave a sharp, involuntary jolt, kickstarting the sudden crescendo of his well-earned euphoria. He let his voice be heard as he arched off that shitty table and up against your solid frame, his hips still rutting and moving in sync with your own. You groaned too, letting yourself be just as loud in the midst of him tightening around your heavy, thick cock pummeling into him. 

“God, lookit that pretty face,” you growled when you pulled back to see how fucked out he was. “You feel good, huh? ‘M I makin’ you cum hard?” Your hand slapped the side of his ass, and Miguel whimpered sharply. “You’re so good, baby, so fucking good. I’ll make you cum again, yeah? Make you cum while you–while you take everything I got.” 

You were terrible. Horrible. A monster in the sack, and apparently in front of powered-down robots. You did what you promised, and ripped another orgasm from his exhausted, over-stimulated body before reaching your own blissful undoing with a rude grin on your stupid, annoying face. 

It made for good content, though.

They reached the front gate without problem, only to find it locked with hefty chains and thick padlocks. If there were people in there, then breaking through the first line of defence wasn’t their favoured option–they didn’t like other survivors, no, and they didn’t work with them without good reason, but they weren’t in the business of sabotaging them, either. 

“Hobie,” Miguel beckoned, muffling the chains’ clanking while holding up one of the locks. 

The young man smirked and flicked his old lock picking set from his pocket. “Don’t mind if I do, coz.” 

He unlocked everything in record time. Miguel thought of you for a moment, and wondered if you’d taught the young man a few nefarious tricks since you, too, were an expert sneak. But Miguel pushed the thought aside as they all carefully, slowly, painstakingly unwrapped the linked metal from the fence, and pushed it open with just as much care to keep the noise to a minimum. It’d be a shame to ring the dinner bell in such an untouched place. 

They relocked one of the padlocks for peace of mind before wandering towards the front entrance. The doors’ windows were boarded neatly and meticulously, Miguel noticed first. He crouched down and noted something blocking the small gap between the ground and the door, but the faintest reach of light still reached through the few cracks that remained. 

“Lights’re on. Front’s boarded,” he sighed before backing up. “Might be a different way inside. Looks like there might be people in–” 

“Miguel!” Gwen whispered. He looked her way, and saw her point to a decrepit shed nestled up against the side of the building, right underneath a large window. Shoved against it laid a single, heavy pot flipped on its end, serving as a sort of stool to get up on. But the lack of snow on the newfound path gave Miguel pause.

“I’ll check it out,” Gwen said before nimbly scampering up the side of the shed. 

Miguel frowned. “Gwen–”

“Relax, I’m just gonna look.” But Miguel did not relax, especially not when she rose on her tiptoes on that shitty, rickety shed roof and peered through the window before her eyes grew wide with a soft woah. 

“Whatcha got, Gwendy?” Hobie asked, approaching the shed himself. 

“You two–” Miguel warned. He looked around cautiously, his body aching with primal instinct–they weren’t alone. There had to be someone else here. Gwen and Hobie had to realize that. They were smarter than this. They wouldn’t do anything stupid. They wouldn’t be hypnotized by whatever was in there and throw caution to the wind to get it. Right? Right. 

…Right?

Excited, Gwen smiled and glanced at the two before looking back at whatever she saw. “There’re–there’s…trees? And bushes with veggies and–and wow, you were right, Miguel.” 

“Well, I say we hop in there and snag a few to bring back, yeah?” Hobie suggested. “Reckon they grew on their own?”

“No,” Miguel scolded. “They didn’t. Come down, right now. We need more people for this.” 

“I’m juuust gonna...” Gwen reached for the window, and Miguel’s anxiety peaked.

“Gwen.” 

“Just a little–” The window groaned as it popped open. 

They froze. They died as statues for a single, long moment, rejecting the need to breathe, letting their eyes freeze solid in winter’s mercy while their ears pricked, searching like the alert deer suspecting death stalking nearby after a misstep on a brittle branch. 

One minute passed. 

Then two minutes. 

Three minutes.

But the birds kept chirping, the world kept spinning, and Ares didn’t come to collect their battle-worn souls.

Gwen looked at her group with a nervous smile, a guilty thing that said, “oops?” 

Miguel was furious. But now was not the time to argue or yell. He could let her father handle that back at Alchemax.

But someone grabbed her, and yanked her inside.

Hobie didn’t hesitate. He jumped up to where Gwen once stood and took the plunge after her, scrambling up into the window, but that same someone shoved him, sending him plummeting down to the frigid concrete. Miguel rushed to his side when he hit the pavement with a choked-back groan. 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Miguel rolled him on his back. “Hobie, you fucking idiot.” Miguel’s panic ebbed just the slightest bit when he saw the punk blinking away stars instead of losing consciousness. 

Click. 

Electricity burst through him. Miguel ripped his revolver free of its holster and returned aim up at the shadow in the window. The tired winter sun illuminated a barrel of black metal, and the small, tawny hand holding it steady. A child. A kid. He was pointing a gun at a kid.

“We don’t want any problems, kid,” Miguel called up. He tried to relax, but he couldn’t; children who grew up in this world were ruthless. They were cruel, unrelenting, and unapologetic towards  their targets. He couldn’t blame them. It was all they’d known, all they’d been taught. But they were only as cruel as their teachers made them. Some of them still held on to shreds of humanity. 

And judging by that unwavering hand, Miguel feared their adversary was at least a confident shot if not a full-blooded monster.

“Yeah, c’mon,” Hobie groaned. “We just–we just want some seeds ‘n shit, ‘at’s all.” 

The small hand faltered a bit. Seems she still possessed sympathy. But a voice, deep and thread-bare, called to her. She looked over her shoulder for a second, before pulling the window closed and locking the latch behind her. 

Panic lanced through Miguel as anger possessed Hobie. “I’m gonna snap that kid in half–” but the creaky hinges of the front door opening cut him off. Miguel aimed toward it, and Hobie did the same once he got himself together, but then–then Gwen peeked out. 

“Guys!” Her hand fluttered and ushered them to come. “You’re not gonna believe this! It’s–” 

“Daddy?” A young, gentle voice asked, and Miguel’s gaze snapped to her. To her. To the little girl peeking out from around Gwen. To his baby, to his tiny world, long lost but never forgotten. To–

“Gabriella,” Miguel breathed. 

“Ho-ly shit,” Hobie commented.

Gabi’s eyes flooded with emotion. She sprinted to him, nearly slipping and tripping in the snow before jumping into his arms and holding on tight. She was so much older now, so much bigger; her tiny face used to bury into his stomach, but now she had her head tucked up against his chest, staining his jacket with heavy tears. 

“It’s okay, mija, it’s okay. I’m here, Daddy’s got you.” Miguel kissed the top of her head. He fought back tears of his own, but did so so pitifully with broken, bewildered laughs and shaking breaths. He pulled back and looked down at her face, her beautiful, beautiful face, and carefully wiped away the wet trails freezing on her cheeks. “I–you–L-Look at you. How’d you get so big?” 

Gabi smiled and sniffled as she wiped her eyes. “I-I, um, finally ate my veggies.” She took a breath to try and still the quiver in her lungs between thoughts. “Y-You have so much grey in your hair now!”

A few beats of warm laughter left Miguel. “Yeah, no thanks to you. Spent all this time worrying about you, kid.” His hand, so used to killing and defending, trembled as he brushed flyaways out of her face. "Listen, I–I'm gonna take you somewhere safe, okay? You won't be alone anymore." 

Gabriella blinked. Her small hands clutched his jacket. "What? But–"

"She's not alone." 

Miguel almost didn’t look. He didn’t really believe what he just heard. But when he risked it, when he managed to wrench his gaze away from his daughter and back to the heavenly light of the front entrance, he saw you. The man who'd been haunting him for years. The man who'd been keeping him warm at night. You, his lover. You, his husband. 

(You, the man he betrayed.)

"She hasn't been alone," you said, the words punctuated by hazy clouds of warmth–proof you were alive, that you weren't an illusion, not this time. "I promise." 

You looked so, so tired.

But Gwen was grinning, and even Hobie smiled with a lack of irony as he walked to you and gave you a hug. 

"My man! Officer tall, sunny and handsome in the flesh!" He clapped his hand hard against your back but you hardly wavered. You offered a smile, and hugged him back, short and sweet. 

"Hey, Hobie. Behaving?" 

"Eh. Sometimes." 

"Good enough for me." You let him go and scanned over all the survivors, your eyes not lingering on anyone for too long. "Head inside. It's warm, there's food. We'll talk. Gabs?" 

"Okay!" She hurried to corral everyone inside. "In, in, in, we gotta lock up for the night." Her gaze turned to Miguel as he hesitated, still watching you with glazed eyes. "Daddy, are you–?" 

"I'll be there in a second, mija." And, thankfully, his baby girl read the room better than he could have at that age, and let you two be. 

You looked over your shoulder, so like a predator making sure his cubs were inside and safe before prowling through the night. A man enchanted, Miguel followed you, watching you re-lock the gates they'd slipped through, and lagging behind while you checked the perimeter with thorough hands. Miguel would give anything to have those hands on him right now. 

He didn’t know where to start. "(Name), I–" 

"You said you could take her somewhere safe, right?" You asked before you turned that timid, unsure gaze back to him. "You meant that?" 

The words took too long to register. "I–yeah, I meant it. I mean it." Miguel forged courage out of trepidation and used it to fuel his journey to you. "We have a colony. The old Alchemax building, you remember?" 

"The one that was supposed to get torn down?" You wondered. 

Miguel nodded. "Yeah, that one." 

You kept walking. "Didn't we fuck in your office there?" 

A smile threatened Miguel as he followed like a lost puppy. "We did." 

"Ah. Always liked that building. Liked that desk, too." You shrugged. "Comfy, all things considered." 

Miguel hooked his finger into your belt loop and pulled you closer to him. "Then you'll be happy to hear it hasn't changed." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

You almost laughed, Miguel heard it. But you pulled away from him, and wordlessly finished up the perimeter sweep. 

"You should stay the night," you mumbled on the way back. "Pretty sure it's gonna snow." 

"Might make it harder to get back tomorrow," Miguel said, following you inside and watching you bar the door again. "We came here by foot." 

"No truck?" 

"None." 

"I'll take you back, then. I got a truck." 

"You make it sound like you're not coming." Anxiety gripped Miguel. "I'm not losing you again." He held onto your arm tightly.

You looked troubled, glancing between the hand on your arm and Miguel's eyes. "Did Dana die?" You asked. 

Sickness coiled in Miguel's stomach. "What?" But his tone was too deep, too dark. 

You shook your head. "No, I–I'm sorry I don't know why I said that, I'm just–" 

"We both know why you said that," Miguel said through clenched teeth. 

The way you looked at him, eyes full of bristling hatred for the woman who'd stolen away everything from you, set alight an ancient sort of fear in Miguel’s core. It was so like that night, the one where you'd found out. 

Gabi was still at daycare. You were at work. Miguel was supposed to be at work, too. It could have been the perfect crime, one full of sinful lust and infinite rapture. 

But you came home early. 

You didn't even say a word when you walked into the bedroom and found him tangled in the sheets with Dana, with the woman he'd convinced you to think was a surrogate, not someone he was fooling around with and just so happened to knock up. You had that same stare, rotting with hatred, infested with betrayal, all for the woman underneath your husband. Miguel loathed that look, but he found some sick joy in hurting you, too. Because he hated you, for some reason. 

 Dana laughed when you walked out, some smart comment about how pathetic you were dancing off her plush, scarlet-stained lips. Miguel scoffed a laugh, too. You really were a coward, weren't you? 

(But you weren't.)

Miguel finished with Dana, and she left. He heard her say something to you, something light and playful and damn hurtful, but Miguel didn't say anything. Nor did you. 

He found you in the living room after he'd pulled some clothes on like it mattered. He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms, staring hard at your profile while you graced the ground with an empty gaze. Your hands clasped and unclasped slowly. Your head nodded shallowly. 

"You're really not gonna say anything?" Miguel goaded. 

"What am I supposed to say?" You offered. 

Something. Anything. 

Miguel laughed, mocking, and sat down across from you, on a mirrored couch, across the glass coffee table you'd picked out together. 

"How long?" You managed. 

Miguel hummed in thought. "How old's Gabi?" 

That got a reaction out of you, something Miguel craved so deeply; your eyelids fluttered in disbelief, and your lips parted to suck in a sharp breath. You looked hurt. You looked like you were feeling something.

"The prenup says you keep what's yours, I keep what's mine, yeah?" 

Miguel's smile faded. "What?"

"Gifts fall into that category. I’m keeping the Jeep." 

"Wait–" 

"I'll find a lawyer in the morning." You got up, and Miguel snapped. 

"You're not even going to fucking ask why?" He yelled, pursuing you into the bedroom. "You don't wanna know why I'm fucking someone else? What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

You ignored him. Miguel's temper flared. 

"Fine! Fine, fuck it, I'll tell you. You don't excite me anymore. You don't try, you don't wanna fuck me, you don't wanna do anything anymore–" 

"Miguel–" 

"You're not the same man I married. What happened to you? When'd you get so–so pathetic and weak?" He took a pause to breathe. Or maybe gasp, more like, as the stabs of panic started to overtake him. "I hate you. You can't leave me." 

He braced on the door, trying to get his bearings on his own, but you were quick to his side. With a strength Miguel loved and adored, you eased him down and fell in slow-motion with his shaky frame secured in your arms. 

“It’s okay, Miggs. You’re okay.” Your fingers combed through his hair slowly. You held him tight,  and convinced him to breathe with you. In and out. In and out. In and out. He breathed to the rhythm of your heart, as it turned out. Slow and steady. Hurt and bleeding. 

“We’ll figure this out, I promise.” 

And he believed you. 

That’s why he took off the ring, and left first thing in the morning. 

Hobie and Gwen passed out after eating their fill of stew. Miguel was beyond annoyed, but couldn't find it in himself to wake them up and leave, not when you were undecided about going with them, but very much wanting him to take Gabi. 

Honestly, he didn't think you'd still be hurting after all this time. Dana was something of the past, a succubus that followed the steps of opportunity and wealth wherever it may go. That's why she wasn't with the group anymore. That's why she left him when he needed her most, and jumped in a truck with strangers while he bled out, alone, in the solitude of an abandoned pet store. 

Chills raked his spine, breaking off chunks of bone when he thought about it. He'd never been so fucking scared in his life. He wished he could have called you to come save him. He wanted you to be the one to walk in there and find him, crying and dying, because you would have stuck by his side through all of those moments; if he hadn't let his emotions get the best of him, if he hadn't made so many stupid decisions, he would've been with you. If he died that day, it would have been in your arms. 

"Hey," you murmured with a gentle touch to his shoulder. Miguel jumped, and your eyes softened. "You okay?" 

Miguel swallowed thickly as he nodded. He looked around, grounding his mind through the touch of your hand, the duo snoring and slumped against bags of soil, and the gentle flickering of the propane campfire keeping the space warm. You taking a seat beside him helped, too. 

Copper eyes took a moment to pace around the old garden centre; true to the outside, it was more or less untouched on the inside, just more cluttered with haphazard barricades and half-done projects. Miguel watched his ghost walk through the isles, once filled with tropical plants, but now replaced with beautiful, healthy trees raised by your hand. It was no wonder Gabi grew up so strong. 

Speaking of--"Where's Gabi?" 

"She's in the next room. Watering some seedlings." You smiled for a fraction of a second. "Putting her green thumb to the test. Tryna show her old man up, I guess." 

Miguel smiled though his eyes stung. "Sounds like an O'hara." 

"Yeah, I thought so, too." 

You shared a few broken beats of laughter before silence fell, just like the snow beyond the door. Then, shyly, like you'd never done it before, your arm reached around his waist. Miguel didn't hesitate to lean his weight into you, though, and that arm didn't wait to pull him in closer right after. 

"So. You still hate me?" Miguel dared to ask before the dancing cinders.

Your hand smoothed up and down his side thoughtfully, soothingly. Miguel melted against you more with a sweet, content sigh. 

"I never hated you," you whispered in return. "Never." 

Miguel made a little sound, something caught between surprise and relief, while your words sunk deep into his thoughts. You didn’t hate him. You didn’t hate him. 

“Then come back with us.” 

“Miguel–”

“There’s no reason to stay here,” Miguel bit out, frustration egging him on. “We have shelter, we have water, showers, rooms, beds–we have everything.” 

“What about food?” You asked quietly.

But Miguel didn’t have an answer; food was the reason they were coming out here, to find more ways to create sustainable living, to try and make life work again. He couldn’t help but look at the trees and bushes bursting with colourful fruits and vegetables, showing off years of dedication and hard work through the literal fruits of your labour. Miguel didn’t know how hard it was to get there. He didn’t think he wanted to know. 

“...It’s a work in progress,” he grumbled instead of admitting the truth. “But we could use your help.”

Your warm fingers dipped under layers of clothes to find the searing skin of your past lover. To Miguel, it almost ached. He hadn't been touched in so long. He hadn't felt your hands on his bare skin for even longer. It intoxicated him, filled his mind and blood with wants and needs–things only you could fulfil for him. 

"I won't leave you hangin', promise that. I just–I need to figure out how this is all gonna work." You looked around the room, taking stock. "Lots of gear we'll need, lots of shit to move. I'll send you back with whatever's already picked. Not worried about the cold with those. The trees are another story, don't want 'em to go dormant while–" 

Miguel kissed you. Sloppily, and wantonly, but with genuinity. Your hands scrambled to hold onto his massive frame when he leaned into you and almost knocked you off the discounted garden bench. This time, you were the one who made a cute, surprised noise. 

And you were the one who kissed him the second time, but it was smaller and shier coming from you, not so eager to consume like Miguel. Your calloused hand held the side of his neck, and your thumb ran along his jawline thoughtfully when you parted, noses bumping and nudging together in a weak nuzzle. 

"I guess you don't hate me anymore?" Your whisper ached Miguel's heart. 

"I never did," he confessed. 

"Then why did you say it?" 

"I don't know." He traced the curve of your lips with tired, weighted eyes. Your cupid's bow had a nice shape to it, so soft and pillowy, meant just for him. "But I didn't mean it." 

"I need a better answer than that." You swallowed down what Miguel could only guess to be a tincture of fear and sorrow, or maybe rage and betrayal. "I've lived with–with that for a long, long time." Your eyes glistened with unspent grief, suddenly. "I need more than 'I don't know.'" 

Miguel's heart lurched. He hadn't bore witness to the consequences of his selfishness before, not with you, not during his affair with Dana. He'd only seen you grow distant across that coffee table far before that god-awful night. And back then, he wanted a reaction. He wanted something like this out of you, but now, he couldn't fathom why.

"Mi amor, I–it's hard to put into words, and I was a stupid kid, and–hey, hey, don't--don't cry." He wiped away the bravest tear to fall first before you turned away, back to the flickering blaze, and rubbed your face roughly. 

"Here's my guess," you muttered. "You wanted to fuck, and I couldn’t–I just–it was hard for me. Or maybe it wasn’t hard, maybe that’s a better way to put it.” You rubbed your face, and held your head in your hands. "The, ah, the medication, the anti-depressants or whatever, they were fucking me up. I didn’t wanna fuck you. I didn’t wanna do anything. Then I was in training to join the force. Wasn't home, and when I was, I was too tired to take care of you and Gabi, so I focused on her. And that made you go back to Dana. Again." 

Bile scorched the back of Miguel’s throat. "You knew." A realisation, not a question. "You knew we–that she and I–" 

"Yeah, that she wasn't a surrogate.” You picked your head up from your hands and stared at the fire, unseeing. “Because she was dating Gabe at the time, and you were with me." You sighed and let a deep, venomous grief finally escape from the space between your lungs, from the spot where that thing had festered like a disease for too many years. 

"I could let it go the first time, turn a blind eye because she gave me–gave us–our daughter, but–the second time? With all the shit you two said?" You shook your head. "I just--I couldn't–I wish you'd just told me what was wrong. I wish I'd told you what was going on with me, too, 'cause I know all the shit that happened is my fault, too.”

"Dad?” Gabi's small, hollow voice rang. The both of you turned to her, but you were the one who got up. 

“Baby,” You said with a hushed tone, somehow so comforting but so afraid. “Hey, you done with the watering?” 

“Uh, yeah, but…um, is everything okay?” Her gaze flicked between you and Miguel. He could almost hear her little mind firing on all cylinders as she tried to parse what they were talking about. “You look sad.”

You crouched before her and took her hands in yours. “We’re talking through some things, honey, it’s alright. We’re figuring things out.”

A light of worried realization illuminated Gabriella’s gaze. Miguel fidgeted and futzed with his clothes as he looked away, unsure of how to deal with her accusatory revelation. How much did she know? Did you tell her anything? No, no, you wouldn’t do that, you wouldn’t dirty her memory of her father like that. You were a good man. You were a better man than Miguel. 

“Oh,” she whispered. 

You nodded and brushed some hair free from her freckled face. "We’ll be alright, baby. You just get some sleep, alright? Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day. Lots of loading up to do." 

Gabi whispered the softest okay before giving you a hug. She paused for a moment, before running to Miguel and throwing her arms around him for a few precious seconds before running off to the loft to sleep. 

You sighed, then, and Miguel did too.

You turned to him. “Look, you–I don’t know why I’m starting shit right after you…you wander back into my life,” you murmured, going back to Miguel and straddling the bench before taking his hand and squeezing. “I’m sorry. And I love you. You know that, right?”

That pang came back in Miguel’s chest, but this time, it was warmer.

December 2nd  3:05am i love you 3:06am i'm sorry

Miguel squeezed your hand back and this time, he was the one tearing up. “Mi amor, you don’t need to–you’ve done enough apologizing already.” 

"Miggs, don't say that. I–" 

"Stop. Stop it." Your husband straddled the bench, too, and scooted closer to you until he was more or less in your lap, his heavy thighs draped over your own. 

"But–" you started, and stopped as Miguel cupped your face with both hands and squished your cheeks. You sighed and leaned into his touch when it eased up. "Baby–" 

"Me arrepiento de lo que hice," he whispered to you, "espero algún día puedas perdonarme." He let go of your face, and found your hand to kiss its back. "Te amo." 

You smiled. Something real, something happy. Something that stayed around for more than a few seconds, and made the corners of your eyes crinkle with the beautiful way you'd aged. Then, you kissed him. 

"Te amo," you murmured back, your lips still touching his. "We'll figure this out. Work it out. We have the time." Your lips pressed against his again. "I'm not giving up on us." 

This time, Miguel cried.

It took some time to transport everything to Alchemax. It took a little bit longer to get you there, too. 

But you got there eventually, ready to stay for good, and ready to put Miguel's mind at ease. 

Your old friends and coworkers greeted you, clasping their hands on your back and hugging you tight until you couldn't breathe anymore. You smiled, too, and asked them how they were holding up, if your husband was keeping things in line. You couldn't help but remind them that you in fact hand the handsomest and smartest partner in the world, too. 

They let you get acquainted with the building pretty quickly, probably seeing the haggard, exhausted state you'd lived in for five years and wanting to let you unwind for the first time in a long time. And that called for a hot shower, food, and some sleep. 

"I'll take you to your room," Miguel told you as you both left the common area. 

"My room?" You retorted, sounding mighty confused and damn near insulted. 

Miguel blinked and looked at you. "Yeah. There's enough for–" Oh. 

"What's yours is mine, yeah?" You said, stern and a little bit spicy. "Then your room is mine. And your ass is–"

"Câllate," Miguel cut you off with a smile. "I'll take you to our room." 

He led you there with a bit of a spring to his step, and you kept up with as much enthusiasm. The room was nothing special, featuring nothing more beyond a mediocre bed, uninspired furnishings, and random knick knacks Miguel had left here over the years. But it was home. Your shared home. 

"Huh." You looked around the room. "I think that coffee table woulda looked nice here." 

Miguel scoffed a laugh and rested his hand on the small of your back. "You think so? I think it'd clash." 

"Yeah, well, you have bad taste, hun." 

"Oh, wow, you're really gonna say that when I'm married to you?" 

"I'm the one who confessed first. I'm the one who proposed. Pretty sure it's safe to say I picked you." You leaned toward him and kissed his cheek. “And I have good taste.”

Miguel felt his face get hot. "Shut up and take a shower." 

"Your wish is my command." You set your pack down by the bed before sliding open the door to the ensuite. Miguel watched you like a hawk, his prey drive skyrocketing when he caught swaths of your bare skin peeking out from the washroom. He wanted to watch more, but you deserved a little privacy. 

"Oh," you said, peeking out from the doorway. "I, uh, kept my phone through everything. There're some photos of Gabi, if you wanna check it out." You vanished back into the bathroom and Miguel heard the water turn on. "It's in my pack! In the shitty little phone pocket thing." 

"Yeah, I–okay, I'll take a look, thanks." Miguel smiled, and rummaged through what you'd brought with you before pulling out that beat up phone with the charger still plugged into it and kept together with bandages of tape. Colour him impressed. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and went straight for the camera roll. There were loads of new pictures ranging from Gabriella when she was littler, to pictures of animals that Miguel guessed Gabi had a hand in.

There were old pictures, too. Mostly of Miguel, as embarrassing as that was, but the baby photos took over his reign once that perfect little girl entered your life. It made Miguel wish he’d taken more photos, that he hadn’t thought it was too cliche and embarrassing to capture every moment. He used to say shit like, “Do you have to take a photo? Can’t you just live in the moment?” but you’d stick your tongue out, give him a pinch or a bite on his cheek or something else in retribution. Because you didn’t care, you wanted to look back on little memories. 

He scanned through photos until he caught one that sent a rush of red to his features; it was of him, on his back, eyes teary and face alight with a fierce blush as you, well, obviously fucked him stupid. It was the only one of its kind. Maybe you forgot to delete it? Maybe–

The videos. Oooh, now that had Miguel excited. Miguel scanned through the other folders, but found nothing, much to his dismay and relief, seeing as Gabi probably had free access to your phone. 

But then, he spied a locked folder. 

The first password he tried worked (your anniversary because duh. You were such a sap), and a whole catalogue of videos and pictures were unleashed. 

Miguel glanced up at the washroom door before he skimmed through. He remembered all of these places (but the geo tags helped, too. Christ, you were so organised with your exhibitionist porn), ranging from IKEA after closing, to an abandoned amusement park. He still didn’t know how you picked out these places, or how you knew how to get into them without getting in heaps of trouble with the authorities. 

He tapped on a video and bumped the volume up a couple notches, just so he could barely hear; it was him on his knees, on a rusty old ferris wheel, staring up at you like you were God himself as he gripped your thighs and did his damndest to give you the blowie of a lifetime. Your sighs and soft moans rippled through the speakers like waves lapping at the shoreline. Present Miguel rubbed his mouth, worrying at his bottom lip before licking the dryness away. 

“Good boy,” You whispered on the other side of the camera. Your hand came into view and carded through dark locks before cupping his cheek. Miguel of the past turned into your touch and took your thumb into his mouth while his hand took over stroking your length from base to tip over, and over again. 

Miguel swiped to the next video. He was on his back this time, in your shared bedroom, if that duvet cover was to be trusted, while your fingers plunged deep inside of his heat and tore loud moans and gasps from him. He remembered this; you called it an experiment before you bullied his prostate with three, thick digits.  

"How's that feel, gorgeous?" You purred. Miguel swallowed thickly, both in the video and in the now. His hesitant hand crept down his thigh slowly, like he was trying to hide it from himself and call it an accident as he reached to palm himself through his jeans while he watched. He almost felt guilty. But that's what made it better. 

"Good. Really fucking good." His past self rocked down against your fingers, choking on a needy whine as his eyes slid open, and found you. "I need you, mi amor. Please–" 

"I know, babe, I know. I'm almost done here," you promised. You tilted the camera down to his stretched hole to catch what you did next. "Then you can have whatever you want from me." 

You pressed your pinky in, then, and Miguel of the present bit his lip as his shocked gasp and shaky cry pierced through the speakers. Miguel still couldn't describe the deranged pleasure he got from having half your hand in his ass, nearly to the point of fisting him. 

Miguel switched to a different video quickly. The next one was in the Jeep you loved so much. You were both out camping for the weekend, something you loved and Miguel had learned to love; that stupid red truck became home for so many long weekends, it became host to long hours of napping and intimacy, it turned into one of Miguel's favourite places. 

The video started with you adjusting the camera and squinting at it while Miguel’s younger self bitched and moaned in the background. 

"I'm just making sure the tripod's working 'n shit, babe, just gimme a sec!" You whined back. 

"My dick's getting soft," Miguel threatened, so blasé but annoyed at the same time. "Come on, viejo." 

You pulled away from the camera, grinning smug as a fox, and scooted back to your lover. His past self was lounging, hair and clothes already a mess from the prologue to this movie, as he watched you.  

"I'm here, I'm here." You kissed him, and Miguel could almost taste the s’mores on your tongue, the coffee on your lips. "Sorry, just wanna make sure it's perfect." 

"Oh, yeah, 'course. Gotta make sure your indie porno looks good." 

"Hey, one day we're gonna look back on this! It's worth it, baby, trust me." 

"Whatever. Just kiss me," Miguel demanded with a laugh. And you did as you were told, kissing his lips, then down his chest, then–

"Knew you'd like watching 'em back." 

Miguel jumped, nearly dropping the phone as he jerked his hand away from his clothed bulge. "I, uh–what?" he asked dumbly as he stared at your built frame leaning against the doorframe. God, you were still an impressive specimen. He wished that loose towel would just drop from your hips already.

"Our, ah, home videos." You grinned, so much like that fox from the past, and paced to Miguel. "Nice looking back, ain't it?" You cupped the underside of his jaw and tilted his face up. "Got you a lil' excited, yeah?" 

You weren't wrong. With a hammering heart, burning skin, and tingling nerves, he couldn't deny he was stuck deep in a pool of desire and need. And now with you handling him like this–fuck. He was in trouble. 

Miguel nodded weakly. "Yeah." He took a deep breath. "Just a little." 

“I’ll help.” You eased onto the bed and took great care in settling behind him. "Let the video play," you whispered against his neck before leaving a possessive kiss. 

Miguel leaned back into you. He watched you pop open his jeans and slip a hand down, down, down, until your warm palm met his aching length. A shuddered breath escaped him when you felt him up, pulled him free, squeezing and stroking in all the right spots; it'd been so long since anyone touched him. It'd been so long since he touched himself. 

"I, ah, don’t think we–did we lock the door?" Miguel heard himself moan in the video, and he dared another look; your head bobbed between his thighs while fingers pistoned into him. He wondered if you would do that to him again. Maybe tonight. 

"Nope.”

“Shit.”

"Mmmh. You want me to stop jerking you off so you can lock it?" 

"No." 

You chuckled. "Okay." 

Your hand still worked him slowly and thoughtfully while lovers of the past filled in the rest of the silence. Miguel's hips bucked, and you hummed, so pleased with yourself. Pleased with yourself for pleasing him. Something Miguel found self-value in.

"I think I, uh, I think you mighta been right," he murmured to the air, trying to control his voice. Your gentle hum of intrigue spurred him on. "I think I need you to fuck me more than I realized. Need you to want me, ‘n…take me." 

“Yeah?” You asked before sinking a bite into his neck. “Figured you had somethin’ of a praise kink. Makes sense, in hindsight.”

Miguel gasped when you picked up the pace. “Fuck–I’d call it…mmmmn, I’d call it a-a love language–”

“Huh, didn’t know there were six love languages–”

“Sh-shut up, shut up, you know what I–what I mean–!” Miguel bit down hard on the inside of his mouth as his hips rocked up into your cruel, talented hand. He was close. How embarrassing. “I, uh…physical touch. Words of affirmation.”

“‘Needing my husband to fuck me and tell me I’m sexy.’” Miguel moaned and dug his head back into your shoulder as you chuckled. “That sound about right?”

“Viejo,” he whined, setting the phone aside to be forgotten. “I–”

“I know, baby; show me how hard this love language makes you cum.” 

It only took a few more strokes for Miguel to come undone. His teeth clattered together as he strained to keep his voice on lock as a forgotten rapture ripped the air from his lungs and electrocuted every vessel in his body. He clung to the other arm that’d come to wrap around his chest and hold him against you while you worked him through the motions, slowing down, accommodating the way his body reacted to the blinding pleasure. There were words said, probably encouraging ones muttered into his shoulder, but Miguel didn’t have the mind to parse the meaning of what you’d said. 

“Y’know,” you tried again when Miguel’s mind levelled out, “I think I have a praise kink, too. But a complimentary one. One where I like praising you.” You rested your chin on his shoulder and hummed. “Hm. Who woulda thought.”

“Hah. Good to know you’re still annoying,” Miguel said with a chuckle. He scrunched his nose up when you licked the side of his face. “(Name)--” 

“No.” You bit his cheek this time, and he sighed. You did, however, feel his softening cock start to come back to life again. “Want me to lock the door now, old man?” 

“Yeah,” he breathed. You got off the bed, letting the towel fall where it may, and Miguel finally gazed upon his lost treasure. “And set up your phone. We need to update the archives.”

You grinned when you turned back to him, and Miguel felt so at ease. 

There were still things to work out: the mental illness you hid from him, the cheating Miguel tried to hide from you, the little secrets you both kept wedged in the darkest cracks of your minds. But with you with him, the man who refused to give up on their bond and their love, Miguel felt safe indulging in mindless pleasure you so generously gave to him. Neither of you were about to seal away the past again, but if you could share in the good of your relationship while acknowledging the bad, then hope wasn’t lost; it was found in the moment you’d pulled his old wedding band from your pack, and slipped it back on Miguel’s finger that night, murmuring the words you said in a church so long ago:

“Till death do us part.”

[avianyuh]

masterlist

***this masterlist took forever because I had to scroll through SIX YEARS worth of work. this is the most updated masterlist on my page so use this one if you need navigation :) ***

Who I write for:

-BTS💣

-NCT🟢 (mainly anyone that was apart of NCT 2018, but if you want WayV, I can do that!)

-Seventeen💎

-EXO❌⭕️

-Enhypen -

-Monsta X 🫡 (but I'm emotionally scarred from Wonho so idk...)

UPDATE 02/28/2024: girlies i have nothing to say about ATEEZ anymore, it's just not gonna happen so I took them out of the ML😥sorry. BUT, I will now be adding *some* second gen groups because the fics are LACKING. I already said in the past I would write for SHINee and I stand by that! I just don't have much to write for them atm. Does anyone want a BF!Minho? idk...Who wants SUJU? Well, it doesn't matter cuz I do😁 I will also add Jaejoong from TVXQ/JYJ, not the whole group for TVXQ cuz I'm really only familiar with him and Junsu. I will also start up again with EXO so keep a look out if you like those fics. Anyways, this was just a PSA I wanted to make.

UPDATE 08/2024: FUCK SUJU, no I'm just kidding but....I'm not writing for them lol. Also, I don't see Shinee happening either. HOWEVER, I am thinking of adding Enhypen to my list of groups I write for! I have only written one fic (specifically a Jungwon fic), I'm currently writing something else for Enhypen.

< >

🔍navigation help🔎

-If a group is crossed out it means I no longer write for them

-Please don't be afraid to request something. idc if it's anon or not. if you want something written, just send in a request :) it will encourage me to get to whatever group someone requested faster. as long as they're mentioned above, I'll write for them (only because I like to be familiar with the members so I can write accurate depictions of them)

< >

📢Upcoming Works🆕

🗓️ Boring chapter 6 (November 4-6th)

🗓️seventeen as boyfriend headcanon (November)

BTS:

BTS reactions:

🌱requested; bts reaction to you having diabetes and not taking care of yourself

🌱requested; namjoon taking care of his chronically ill girlfriend

🌱requested;BTS getting jealous over crush giving more attention to Yeontan or Bam

🌱requested; Giving BTS flower crowns

🌱requested: BTS accusing reader of leaking sensitive info

BTS HEADCANONS

🌱requested; BTS helping S/O with finals

🌱requested;BTS misses crush on tour but is too shy to confess

🌱request; BTS gets jealous and confesses to crush

🌱request; BTS comforts S/O who starts flunking exams

🌱request: BTS Suga, Taehyung, Jungkook and their pets

🌱requested: BTS as your brother

BTS AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱Hoseok/JHope

🌱Yoongi/Suga

🌱Namjoon/RM

🌱Jimin

🌱Jungkook

One Shots;

🌱Dinner Date, Jeon Jungkook

🌱Time Off; Jung Hoseok

Fics;

🌱Boring | Min Yoongi Chapters; TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX

NCT: *in the process of finding new picture*

NCT headcanons;

🌱a soft day with nct part one (johnny through jungwoo)

🌱a soft day with nct part two (lucas through jisung)

🌱nct as boyfriends (johnny through jungwoo)

🌱nct as boyfriens (lucas through jisung)

🌱christmas with nct (johnny through ten)

🌱requested; how nct would confess to their crush (johnny through jungwoo)

NCT reactions:

🌱nct u reaction to meeting your parents

🌱requested; nct reaction to someone touching you inappropriately (johnny through mark)

🌱requested: NCT reaction to you asking to move in together

nct reaction to you thinking you're fat: 🌱yuta

🌱jaehyun 🌱mark

🌱taeyong 🌱johnny

🌱requested;NCT 127 commenting on GFs IG post

Individual member posts;

🌱dating jaehyun

🌱requested; dating mark

🌱requested; dating haechan

🌱requested; dating johnny

🌱dating lucas

🌱dating taeyong

🌱dating yuta

🌱requested; soft dom! winwin

🌱haechan request; idol reader

NCT MLTs;

🌱requested; NCT 127 MLT break up with current GF for their crush

🌱requested; NCT 127 give their ex a second chance

One Shots;

🌱making time;mark lee

🌱tattoos; Yuta Nakamoto

🌱'I'll Call You; Jaehyun' [part one] [part two] [part three] [part four]

🌱requested; Taeyong fic

🌱requested; Taeyong fic 2

🌱requested;NCT 127 group one shot

🌱deadline;Mark Lee

SEVENTEEN:

SEVENTEEN AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱The8/Minghao

🌱Hoshi/Soonyoung

🌱Jeonghan

🌱S.Coups/Seungcheol

🌱Wonwoo

EXO:

EXO headcanons;

🌱Oh Sehun as a boyfriend

🌱Baekhyun as a boyfriend

🌱a soft day with EXO (hyung line)

🌱a soft day with EXO (maknae line)

One Shots;

🌱insecure; Kai

🌱baekhyun request

🌱requested;baekhyun missing his ex

ENHYPEN:

Fanfics;

🌱Too Late; Yang Jungwon

🌱 Irresponsible | Lee Heeseung

MONSTA X:

MONSTA X AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱Changkyun/I.M

SOLOISTS

Kim Jaejoong:

🌱Thank You For Waiting

Midnight Thoughts

*basically random posts where I share my thoughts about kpop and other things I find interesting.

September 2024

*PAST WORKS/GROUPS I DON'T WRITE FOR ANYMORE*

DAY6:

Day6 headcanons;

day6 as boyfriends

One Shots;

'I Love You'-Jae Version

'I Love You'- Young K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GOT7

GOT7 as boyfriends

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TWICE:

TWICE one shots

Requested: A Trip With Jeongyeon

BLACKPINK:

BlackPink headcanons;

Jennie As Your Best Friend

*NON KPOP RELATED/MY OWN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS;

Root Beer Float

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

Pokepark - Shout out a Pokemon IRL blog you really like!

ill do you one better i have A LOT to shout out lol. its very hard to like articulate ALL my thoughts in just like one paragraph cause i dont wanna drop a masive ESSAY for each blog so ill try to keep it brief but do check all of them out if you havent yet!!

@lovenpeace-pkmn - anthea and concordia are,, surprisingly forgotten about pkmn characters so finding out there was a blog for them a few months back was like. insane for me. i love the blogrunners characterization and its just generally a fun blog to scroll through and interact with on occasion!

@thatfailedpokemontrainer - sprite an interesting critter fr. theres something wrong with them and i love it. every once in a while something goes down on the blog and im just in the discord chat with friends like omg look at whats happening on tumblr RIGHT NOW!!! also as a dedenne best pikaclone TRUTHER i am obligated to promite this blog lol

@battle-subway-ghost - is also a really fun blog that im always like GUYS LOOK AT WHATS HAPPENING OVER THERE!!! honestly i could probably link ALL the blogs linked to this one and thatfailedpokemontrainer but i dont wanna decimate a buncha peoples notifs with me @ ing them all on the same post lmao. but like. something up with paris fr and his relationships with other characters are so fun to read. also i love rattatas so any blog about characters that give love to the rats get a good grade in my book

@wingsofachampion - tropius is such a fun character and bench plays her so well!! pokemon like tropius are sososo underrated compared to a lot of the like. anthro/more humanoid pokemon and pokemon that are just cats or dogs so seeing one about one of these more underrated pokemon so good to me. bench (blogrunner) also has a ton of fun pmd lore that builds off the canon stuff on this blog and a few of their other blogs so if you love pmdstuff you should REALLY check them out

@psn-stalling - i could list A LOT of the bbablr blogs because theyre all some degree of something up with that guy fr but atlas is one of the first blogs that popped up on my dash p often and is what got me to check out a ton of the bba blogs. atlas and his relationships to other characters are so fun to me and tbh atlas is just a fascinating character in general. top ten guys of all time i hope he beefs with even more of his classmates in the future

@viridian-rat - OKAY SO. TURT (the blogrunner) IS MY FIRNED SO PERHAPS THIS MAY BE CHEATING BUT RAT IS SO SOSO SOMETHING TO ME. 12 YEAR OLD OF ALL TIME. turt plays rat like an actual 12 year old and its so refreshing because a lot of people DO NOT KNOW HOW CHILDREN ACT AND ITS INSANE. also turts been putting so much effort into a whole ass animation for this blog thats almost done so you guys have to follow the blog before it comes out so you'll see it.

@harteofthehart-ayyy - harte is another character on pkmn irl thats a guy of all time fr. fascinated by him and everything that is revealed about him. whatevers going on with him and his roommate has captivated me. this is also another blog where i REALLY like the art thats posted on occasion, and i just find it funny to follow. also its just a REALLY fun blog to interact with. like some blogs are just awkward to reply to because theres like way too little to actually grab onto but harte's mod is really good at giving you stuff to actually reply to

theres sosososo many more blogs but some are just escaping my mind rn or i dont know how to like properly articulate anything than this blog good. id like @ my entire following list rn if i could but i do not think people would be happy with the amount of notifs

[glowingbadger]

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HOT OCS

A few of you beautiful people gave me permission to talk about my OCs for a bit (not that I need it but it's nice to have), and for that, there shall be consequences. I wanna show y'all a few of my beauties, tell you about them, and brag about how hot they are and all the thoughts I have about their sex lives lmao (also featuring, btw, a major DnD npc who is.... VERY inspired by Seteth lmao though his story definitely ended up going its own way from that starting point)

**Also note because I know a couple IRL friends of mine follow this blog- if you play any tabletops with me, don't you fucking dare read this I will be SO mad because there will be spoilers I'm being so serious rn lol

((Also if you don't care that much about my OCs (fair lol I get that's not what most of y'all are here for) but just wanna see some of my art maybe, feel free to just scroll through and look at four hot anime people looooool))

First, we've got Rhys Ledger! (Cyberpunk Red ttrpg) Full art here

Rhys was born with severe chronic illness and a desperately poor family. Because of this, every issue and flair up got pushed off until it absolutely HAD to be addressed by a medical professional- and this lead to both of his arms and one eye eventually becoming infected to the point of requiring the cheapest and crappiest cybernetic replacements on the market- and even these still pushed his family into horrific debt. To get the debt collectors away from his mother, he staged a big interpersonal blow-up with her, ran away, faked his death, and started sending money to the debtors anonymously on her behalf, so that he could make the payments while separating himself from his mother so she wouldn't feel compelled to try to find and help him anymore.

So basically, he's cut off his entire family, in his mind for their own good. He's in crippling and seemingly insurmountable medical debt. Plus, his cybernetic eye and arms are cheap and shitty and keep breaking- his eye even plays ads at regular intervals, and you can imagine how maddening that is. All he had to rely on was the beginnings of a medical education received from Dr. Banting, a man who provided routine checkups at minimal cost to him as a child in addition to periodically tutoring him. So he leveraged that to test into a medical education program that would basically fast-track him into indentured servitude to a major corporate medical cybernetics company. And on the side, he takes odd jobs for extra cash- which is how he ran into the rest of our tabletop party.

He's a deeply, deeply empathetic and caring person deep down, who's just been beaten down by the trials of life and grown cynical and sarcastic as a result. Unlike most quality cybernetics, his hands completely lack a nervous suite, so he has no sense of touch there, and he secretly misses that sensation desperately. All of these factors contribute to him having been in a multi-year dry spell, sexually (he's had a tendency to pull away from romantic relationships before they got more than skin-deep), and at this point he'd likely faint if confronted with a naked boob. He's incredibly touch-sensitive, and while he probably doesn't even realize it, deep down he absolutely yearns to be touched gently and intimately by someone who actually values his falling-apart body. Rhys probably needs someone who's very vocally encouraging during sex, and who will communicate clearly what they want and what they like; with that sort of person, he'd be the ultimate service-whatever. Top, bottom, all that matters is that he's doing a good job and pleasing his partner, he's not capable of taking someone for granted once they've shown they truly appreciate and desire him.

~~~

Next we have Shaeleigh Sommers (unofficial Pokemon tabletop; also a cyberpunk setting) Full art here (also some spicier pics of her here and here)

Shaeleigh, or Shae, is from a Cyberpunk Pokemon tabletop that my husband has been running for three years now with friends, so she predates Rhys, but in retrospect she's like... a perfect foil for him lol

Shae was born to a fairly well-off family with a corporate, ladder-climbing father and a trophy-wife mother (she has respect for the former and very little regard for the latter). Her older brother is following their father's footsteps, while Shae pursued... basically Pokemon veterinary studies lol. After college, she worked for a Pokemon shelter for unwanted and retired Pokemon, but it was shut down for taking on more cases than they were supposed to (not wanting to turn away any Pokemon in need), and as a result, Shae's dream is to gain the money, experience, clout and sponsors to open her own private shelter. She has an enormous soft-spot for lesser-loved Pokemon, and has no interest in the "popular picks" who will have no trouble finding a trainer to take care of them. She's somewhat naive, though she's learned a lot on her adventures, and she has a good heart despite being a bit spoiled.

Shaeleigh is also desperately in love/lust with the professor overseeing her and her allies on their journey, Professor Shoot. He's a young Professor, still technically the equivalent of an "adjunct," and Shae and her buddies are his first group of assigned trainers. Shae was immediately attracted to him physically, and overtime this has slowly developed into a deep, deep crush and potentially even love. He's gentle and kind in a way that's extremely rare in the dystopian cyberpunk future, and while he insists that, as a professor he's less a man and more a cog in a machine, Shae sees a warm and beautiful humanity in him that she clings to, as it represents her desire not to lose herself or her values despite how hard her battles may become. Also he plays piano, so like, those hands... hnnng.

Anyway, I've always viewed Shae as someone who has had a lot of flings and passing relationships, but nothing very serious. Lately, she's been hooking up with a gang leader (really closer to a warlord) from the wild, untamed underground of the city, but while she does respect him and admire his free way of life, she's truly only seeking him out as solace while she can't have her beloved Professor. With a few more badges under her belt though, she'll be considered to have a level of authority within the Pokemon League that may finally allow her to openly pursue Professor Shoot... fingers crossed for my girl lmao. In the meantime, she insists that she wants him to make the first decisive move, and they live in a surveillance state, so her desired Professor-romance has been an AGONIZING slow-burn thus far. Sexually, I think she's a bit vanilla, but very warm and encouraging, even if she doesn't care that much about the guy she's with. With someone she does care about, she's relentlessly devoted to their mutual pleasure, with incredible stamina and focus, all towards the goal of expressing even a fraction of what she feels in her heart.

~~~

Okay guys, I hope you're ready because I have SO much to say about Saul (NPC, DnD 5e) Full art here

Guys. The way my brain has been soaking in the essence of this character for like two years. And I have no outlet for this because there's SO much about him that my players in this campaign don't know about him yet. (btw this is a follow up warning to my players in my dnd campaign that I will be so, so mad if you keep reading after this point lmao)

OKAY so. On the surface, Saul is a stern but reasonable man who acts as head steward of the Temple of the Allfaith, a place where every deity in the pantheon is given due worship and respect. The philosophy behind this is that reality is formed through the interactions of countless contradictory forces, and by giving regard to all deities of all domains, we assure that each is mollified. This also makes it a place welcoming to all kinds of people from all walks of life- for the most part. Saul is, as one can imagine in such a chaotic environment, kept enormously busy at all times with paperwork, supply forms, requests, ceremonies, festivals, and all of the various needs and conflicts that arise among the clerics, priests, and so on.

Now, in truth, Saul is a Cambion- the offspring of an Incubus and his victim, who was eventually consumed by the demon who sired her child. While the Incubus moved on to terrorize some other locale, Saul was left in the small hamlet where he was born, and it was only out of regard for his late mother that the people here bothered to care enough for him to keep him alive. With time, though, their natural fear and resentment for the literal hellspawn they'd been saddled with caused constant and open mistreatment, and he was only offered the food, water and shelter he needed to survive, and absolutely no more. All the while, even as a child he potently felt the hatred evident in their eyes when he dared show himself in public.

Now, Cambions are functionally immortal, but they do age at a more or less "normal" rate until they reach maturity. When Saul reached his early teens, another young girl from the village asked to meet with him in a secluded grove beyond the town limits. When he arrived, he was cautious and on-edge, believing this to be some plot or ambush for the townspeople to finally do him in, so when the girl came to see him and made a sudden move towards him, he lashed out. His inherent fire magic abilities sparked out at her, and he killed her in an instant without ever consciously understanding his own actions. What he'll only find out through magical means later in the campaign, is that this young girl actually had grown affectionate towards him, and had hoped to confess her feelings to him that day.

After this, he fled the village and subsisted in the wild for some time, until he was of-age. During this period, he learned to harness his innate magic to disguise himself as a half-elf, but he also learned to hate and resent the people of this world. He grew to believe that they were all as cruel and corrupt as he himself was, and to prove it, he spent the following few years essentially fighting and fucking his way from town to town. Rumors of a demon of vengeance were whispered among the towns dotting the countryside, and in Saul's eyes, any who showed the slightest moral weakness was subject to his personal brand of judgement. A shady business might be burned to the ground overnight, the corrupt mayor (and potentially his wife) might suddenly become swept into a quite public and humiliating affair, the cleric skimming donation money from the congregation might be hung from a nearby tree. His reputation in the region became so fearful that a band of Paladins was sent to exorcise this demon and free the people from him.

It was then, bloodied and beaten near to death, that Saul dragged himself to the doors of the Temple of the Allfaith, where an older man named Erasmus took him in without question. Erasmus was the founder and master of the temple, and he nursed Saul back to health with his own hands, no questions asked. He took Saul in for the following years, and while he was a difficult and petulant guest at first, eventually Erasmus' open and earnest care broke through to what semblance of a soul he still possessed. The unconditional love of a father-figure gave Saul not a second chance, but the first chance he'd ever had, and over time it transformed him completely. While he remained as serious and stubborn as ever, Erasmus never gave up on Saul, and with his nurturing mentorship, he became a deeply empathetic man, and learned to open his heart and view others as worthy of kindness and compassion.

At the time of the campaign, Master Erasmus has long passed, and Saul has been the Steward to the Allfaith Temple for decades. He's known to be highly competent, deadly serious, and relentlessly stubborn, but ultimately kind. His life now is one that he lives in a constant state of repentance. He hopes that, by serving a temple to all of the gods, some day one of them may open their arms to him despite his hellish nature, and offer him the salvation he so desperately craves. The tragedy of it all is that, in all likelihood, several of the gods would now welcome him as-is in light of his life of dedicated service to others at the temple, but Saul himself has yet to view himself as redeemable.

Now, for the juicy stuff- believe me when I say that few men have ever needed to get laid like Saul does. While he was of course quite rakish as a younger man, once he took on the mantle of responsibility at the temple, the idea of engaging in intimacy with one of the priests or clerics here became unthinkable. There would be rumors, accusations of favoritism, and worst of all, the potential that his true nature might be revealed. So he has kept himself very strictly at arms-length with others for several decades now, and this combined with his normally uptight demeanor has made him the top candidate for "ready to go absolutely goddamn feral if he ever gets the chance to really fuck again." Plus, I mean, his birth father was an Incubus, so.... there are a lot of assumptions that can be made about Saul's equipment and technique, even while in his half-elven form. He's the type of man who would relish just about any form of kink with the right person; his sexuality is a dam with a hairline fracture in it ready to burst open. In particular, he would find the use of power-dynamics to be downright therapeutic. Tying him up and forcing him to surrender his control and his body, then teasing and tormenting him until his over-worked mind is finally blank? Sublime. Offering yourself to him so he can fuck you like the demon he truly is, using all of his strength and power to reduce you to his whimpering toy? Also incredible. A more structured sort of power-play session with ropes and edging and punishment and vaguely religiously toned lectures? Divine. And, as we'll see, he's just primed for a good ol' fashion enemies-to-lovers arc just LOADED with sexual tension.

(I need y'all to realize that for how over-long that was, I skipped over a TON of info and worldbuilding and additional details, seriously, I have such brainrot about Saul you could ask me what he was doing during any single second of his life and I'd have an answer for you lmao)

~~~

Lastly, let's talk about Anya Lisianthus (NPC, DnD 5e) Full art here

Anya, at the time of the campaign, is the High Priestess of Beshaba (goddess of misfortune and bad luck), and, like most who worship such deities, she does so to pacify her goddess and free herself from the shackles of excessive misfortune. Before coming to the Temple of the Allfaith, she had been from a noble family, but one falling in its standing. She'd had many siblings, but nearly all succumbed to illness, leaving Anya to shoulder heavy responsibilities for her family that she'd had no interest in and no preparation for. Due to complicated political shifts (that we don't have time to go into here or Anya's section will be even longer than Saul's lol), her family started getting involved with some political dissidents. Anya took to their philosophies, and soon joined in with rebel groups who sought to overthrow the local religious leader who had begun exerting immense governmental control beyond their normal purview. However, a tiny instance of misfortune lead to her downfall; a coin dropped from a guard's pocket, and when he abandoned his patrol route for a moment to follow it as it rolled, he caught sight of Anya and her rebel allies. After this incident, her family labeled her a traitor and an upstart to save the remains of their own reputation, and she fled the city as a wanted criminal.

At the Allfaith Temple, she found acceptance, peace, and the promise of a goddess who could protect her from capricious misfortune. But, as Beshaba is an "evil aligned" deity, Anya is kept to the underground portion of the Temple for the most part- both by her own preference, and by the looks of suspicion and discomfort that her presence draws when around those who worship gods of light and goodness up on the surface. That said, she still carries the undeniably noble bearing of her upbringing, and is fond of hosting others for tea, provided they are able to supply interesting conversation.

She feels some resentment towards Saul, not only for being boorish and stubborn, but also for his holier-than-thou bearing, which she finds intolerable. However, as she falls in with a group of other underground clerics and priests with dubious plans of their own, she agrees to attempt to learn more about Saul for their purposes. So, she's been spending time trying to get through to him. For now, this has mostly taken the form of arguing bitterly in his office just about any time our group of adventurers pass by there, but with time, the two are going to start noticing other facets of one another. Saul views Anya as a strikingly brilliant woman, beautiful of course, but more importantly someone incredibly engaging to talk to, well-read, well-informed, and who thinks through all angles of a subject. Meanwhile, Anya will come to see that Saul's dedication to serving the people of the temple is no mere mask of piety, but a true and wholehearted desire to do good and protect those who rely on him, and that sort of genuine earnestness is hard to come by. So, y'know. We're definitely headed towards a "oh no I accidentally fell for and slept with the man I was meant to be investigating and/or manipulating oh fuck oh no I guess I'm betraying the bad guys now" kind of situation lol.

Sexually, Anya is confident, capable, but choosy. Her natural charisma may give the impression of a flirt, but in truth, not just anyone is deemed worthy to share her bed. She was nobility once, after all- there was a time when men took a knee for the privilege of an audience with her. That said, once she's decided someone meets her standards, she relishes in learning their turn-ons and desires and exploiting them mercilessly. She's every bit as sexually open and flexible as Saul, but in a far more proactive way; the lusts of her partner are intel, precious secrets to be learned and utilized to the fullest. There's nothing she finds more satisfying than seeing a lover look at her with worship in their eyes as she fulfills them absolutely. Saul, with all of his pent-up libido and sexual baggage, is going to make for an absolutely delightful partner for her. She'll never tire of learning the thousands of ways she can make his stoic facade crumble.

Anyway if you actually read all of this, please know that I hope only good things ever happen to you for the rest of your life, that someone you like kisses you on the mouth sloppy-style, and that you find twenty dollars &lt;3

[tillman]

Embarrassed asking this bc I've been following for a hot minute now and still don't know anything haha--where would I start if I were to look into reading abt Lancelot and Galehaut?

NO ITS OK LOL medieval lit is fucking insane especially getting into it with no background here is my brief spiel: <- said before i ended up typing 800 words. sorry.

medieval lit is complex and extremely hard to approach. let alone that most translations work under the assumption the only people to ever read them would be academics with a background in medieval lit, getting into and reading it is a challenge. if u have an interest and dont want to have to brave one of the longest and most complex stories written in medieval french and translated by many many people into english, im happy to say the story of galehaut and lancelot has enough influence to have a pretty decent modern english retelling of the main beats in Lancelot and the Lord of the Distant Isles. (my pdf here, tho copies are really easy to find in bookstores and stuff this is only from 2007). It takes the main story of the vulgate and condenses it down to focus on just the love story of galehaut and lancelot. its pretty fun. the liberties it takes are slight and work for telling a coherent story.

Now, if you have read it, or want the real Galehaut experience, heres whats up, medieval texts and modern poems undercut:

Galehaut is in 5. i think maybe 6 medieval stories total. youre in for a treat as this is maybe the shortest "i want to get into arthuriana and i like this character where do i start?!" list possible besides like. drian the gay. or some other fucking nobody.

The main one, again, is the Vulgate Cycle. This is the main old french tale that inspired a looot of other arthurian works all over Europe. Its huge. Im not done scanning it BUT, i am done scanning the section Galehaut appears in, the beginning, because i got depressed after that lol. (Heres my scan of part 1, part 2 is on my website im too lazy to get both links).

From there, you got the most detailed explanation of the story of Galehaut, and can read the more fun shit and whacky shit with him and Lancelot in it YAY. Heres what i got pdfed on me rn:

Biggest one to note is he has a side role in Thomas Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur. Nothing huge, and they do mix him up with Galahad at one point? but hes there. No one should read the original text its such a slog so heres Keith Baines awesome rendition

In other bad middle english texts, Lancelot of the Laik Book 3 has Galehaut, but its unfinished and also. only in middle english. fun footnote, dont read it. one day ill post my translation of book 3 alone LOL.

Short and sweet Galehaut is in The Old Knight, the greek text we have. he tries to fight for palamides and lancelot and tristan then try to fight for him. its cute. the old knight is an odd little thing just had to bring it up LOL (had to download a pdf for this one the site i read the article on before doesnt seem to be up.... just scroll to the bottom!) <- thisll be up on my website soon i forgot it i guess

Now for the funniest reveal: Galehaut plays more of a role in Tristania than Arthuriana most of the time (well. the arthurian branch of tristania im not getting into this rn). Why is Galehaut and Lancelots relationship expanded upon only here? only god can answer that.

Here is the Tavola Ritonda. Its one of the oddest texts i know of. Medieval italian. Very Very brutal. BUT. has some really interesting Galehaut takes and moments hidden in the . whatever is happening in this fucking text. its long as hell but mentioning for fun. (pdfff)

aand more interestingly. Here is the Belarussian translation of that. Which is even fucking weirder. mostly different plot, still has lots of really cute galehaut moments including the bit he asks tristan to join his and lancelots marriage. oh well i love the povest. (and heres that pdf)

Now. this is the wild card round. Heres the weird shit and the Hovey.

If you can brave French. modern french not old dont worry, Pierre Sala has Tristan et Lancelot. an exceptionally fucking weird story. Galehaut does make a slight appearance but mostly, keyley, funnierly, his evil german cousin is a recurring villain for a few chapters. its weird. its fun. its french. (pdf)

and finally. this one is on its own level, here is my dedication to Richard Hovey. one of the greatest poets of 1885 or whenever he wrote his arthurian stuff. He was gay. he famously called himself the american oscar wilde (and maybe met him at a party? one time we found a source saying they made out at a party.). and he wrote one of the only poems featuring galehaut i know.

well ok its a collection of dramas. and galehaut is not the focus. but he is a main character and he is insane. I recommend reading literally all his works hes a fucking amazing poet, you can even find his other poetry online easily. but heres his list of works on the camelot project. oh my god read richard hovey. please . hes my favorite poet.

[thegeminisage]

long ass post major spoilers tldr i beat it

ok, i've got an hour, time to get started on the end of this game 😤

first straight to lookout landing to introduce purah and mineru.......

or no wait since im here and havent done it in awhile ill swing by the great fairy. if theres any armor i can possibly upgrade i really need to do that lol

okay there isn't really. lol. after pikmin 4 i am gonna need to farm so many materials......

okay, i cooked some food but i dont actually have anything useful so most of it is just atk up/def up/health refills. only a few anti-gloom foods, which is sure to get my ass kicked...

now i guess i just........dive in...................................

im nervous.

i dont have a lot of weapons and bows rn either but whatever ig!!! surely nintendo will provide. i have the master sword fused with one of the light dragon parts so she can fight with me in every possible way!!! also i think the durability wont be affected when it's in its glow mode which it will be down there

thunderstorm as i walk up to the castle lol. classic

alright. WELL. geronimo.

wow that really is. a long way down. okay.

okay hold on wait there's a spot missing on my map. do i get a fucking lightroot down here? i just check. it is so high up. probably unclimbable. do i need to dive again? i'm diving again. fast traveling to the shrine above this time

the bg ambience down here is fucking freaky btw

ok, i got it this time. whew.

back down i go. yeesh.

my neighbors pick NOW to mow their lawn. fuck me sideways

oh im already one heart lost. this floor is COVERED in gloom...

THE FIGHT MUSIC THO...damn

ugh, four hearts down and only two recovery items...yikes. i'm gonna get my ass beat fr but i don't have time to go farm sundelions nor do i want to rn

i can't figure out where to go. i went down a hole with monsters bc that seemed like the only route but now i can't find a way to proceed

did my sword just RING at me??????

fi girl what is going on

oh fuck me there's a gloom lynel

okay yeah no. this isn't gonna work. i need to fucking go farm fucking sundelions. UGH im so mad about it

okay. farmed. going to cook. jesus fuck

COOKED. warping back to the lightroot. bet that mf lynel refilled its stupid health

it did.

I GOT HIM.......ohhh it broke my sword to do it :( i didnt know it could break when it was powered up like that. but i got him...

but now where do i...?

this doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm just heading back into the depths. probably fought that lynel for no reason at all. but i'm scared to look up a walkthru bc of spoilers :(

ok, i did find a guide and i think this is the right way? im scrolling down like one line at a time lol

THE POWER OF A SAGE CANNOT REACH YOU??? OH THIS IS DEFINITELY THE RIGHT WAY

it was way too crowded with all of them but now i feel verrry alone

I FOUND HANDS................

ohhhh i do not want to fight phantom ganon in this gloom covered arena. i do not want to

but with no sages...i can't get across without engaging...

OKAY. THE GOOD NEWS. KILLED THE HANDS. THE BAD NEWS. PHANTOM GANON CHASED ME UP TO THIS HIGH SPOT

GOT HIS ASS!!!! gibdo bone arrows you motherFUCKER

ok, i got across the room...

wait. this looks familiar

THE MUSIC!!!! THIS IS IT THIS IS WHERE I STARTED..................

GLOOM REDEADS!!!!! not today motherfuckers. im not getting jumped im NOT getting jumped

the murals...i can blow up the rocks now

OH MY GODDD.....

the imprisoning war, zelda healing the sword, and becoming a dragon...she WALKED RIGHT PAST THESE with her ALREADY HAVING DONE IT in the past, not knowing she was about to do it again in her own future...oh my god im gonna be SICK

oh that is a big hole.

WAIT...THIS IS THE HOLE SHE FELL DOWN........

WHY IS THE MUSIC DOING THIS...im scared someone come hold my hand

oh my god. the torch zelda dropped is at the bottom of this hole.

im picking it up and im fucking giving it back to her

it JUST keeps going down....

oh god another big jump. OKAAAYYYYY

what IS that..............

DEMON ARMY??? BY MYSELF?????

OH MY GODDDDDDD MY BESTIES!!!! THE GANG IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me im welling up. ive never been more glad for a crowded screen

got my master sword back. fused with zelda's horn. refilled my health. THIS IS ITTTTTT

ROUND TWO!!!!!! IM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHINGGGG

round three is redeads. i am afraid of some things actually

im not getting jumped. i am NOT getting jumped. ive been playing this game for 200 hours and they havent got close enough to jump me yet i AM NOT GETTING JUMPED.

oh my god this music is AMAZINGGGG

AND I DIDN'T GET JUMPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROUND FOUR!!!!! bring it bring it bring it

BOSS RUSH?

oh my god no...NOOOO my besties.........

i'm alone again :( and with seven minutes until my sword recharges...

ah. i can't save here

oh my god THERE HE IS!!!!!!

the music...

dehydrated voice is so much better

OHHHH MY GOD HE DRANK SOME WATER.....THIS IS FROM THE TRAILERS........

does he have black nail polish on his fingers AND TOES? get it girl

THEY REVIVIED MY MASTER SWORD.......

zelda's with me 😭😭😭 this one's for you babygirl

this music is so quiet and sinister wtf...........

is he. IS HE FLURRY RUSHING ME??

THAT'S MY TRICK, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.........

phase one DOWN. eat gibdo bone my guy

DEMISE FORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM ABSOLUTELY WAILING THEYRE PLAYING THE OOT GANONDORF MUSIC LIKE IM GENUINELY WELLING UP

HIS HEALTH BAR?????????????????????????????????????????

TULIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! right as the botw theme plays omg

YUNOBOOOOOO

SIDON AND RIJU.........ONE MORE

AND MINERU!!!! there she IS!!!!! six on one babey

HALFWAY THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cutscene reward

no no no not my besties again

DID HE JUST BREAK MY HEARTS FR???

ohhh the calamity ganon theme!!!

hylian shield badly damaged. GREAT.

i can't get him with my sword. he always does that slowmo thing backwards. but i CAN get him with my lynel bow and gibdo arrows >:)

she died as she lived: running away from the bad guy and shooting at him over her shoulder

GOT HIS ASS!!!!!

OHHHH HE'S GONNA SWALLOW IT...........

i knew this was coming bc of spoilers but it's still incredible. that man just put his whole fist down his throat 😳

compare that to the dainty way zelda swallowed hers lol...

DID THIS MF JUST EAT ME???

wait...his dragon form...is just the calamity???

TIME?? LOOP??????????????

the tune from the trailers........

oh my god okay he's a normal dragon. i was about to start having heart palpitations

i just STRAIGHT UP. for real burst into tears. i have to pause

zelda came to help me................................you go 200 hours thinking she doesn't know or remember you but she RESCUED me she CAUGHT ME.........she's so little compared to him oh god.......

AM I CONTROLLING HER?? WE'RE FLYING TOGETHER...........

accidentally jumped off.

THE MUSIC. THE SAXOPHONE. I'D GIVEN UP ON EVER SEEING IT AGAIN THAT'S GOTTA BE MY MF BINGO

i'm literally crying too much to fight him rn

oh man landing on his back hurts me...how tf am i supposed to get him

one weak spot down. three to go. she literally catches me...literally there's saxophone...

two more! every time she catches me i start bawling again. this is so embarrassing like there are literally tears on my face as i play this. i didn't know she was gonna do that. i knew he turned into a dragon but i didn't know she was gonna help me

she is literally still in there after 10,000 years. her 100 in hyrule castle must feel like nothing in comparison

man and him in the ouroboros position every time...

BLOOD MOON????

RIGHT INTO HIS FOREHEAD JUST LIKE WIND WAKER

bro i am FUCKING sobbing

dark beast ganon theme.

HOLY SHIT...THE EXPLOSION....IS EVERYBODY OKAY??????

oh my god oh my GOD...THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER

ARE GONNA CHANGE HER BACK

his arm..............

I CAUGHT HER.......FINALLY.......CATHARSIS...................

IN HIS AAAAAARMS

OH GOD FI......

quest status find princess zelda: complete. i'm losing it. i found her. fucking found her.

she's HOME.

CREDITS ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im trying to collect myself during this time. when i say i am fucking sobbing i am not exaggerating. i am boohoo wailing with tears rolling down my fucking face. legend of zelda tears of ME because of this GAME!!!!!!!

i dont even care that they broke the lore. ok i do care a lot actually but whatever. whatever.

THE CREDITS ARE SO GOOD..........all the shots of link touching people's hands!!!!!!!!!!

AND THEIR HANDS FIXING ZELDA.....

AND CATCHING HERRRRRRRRR

the end...........

OH POST CREDITS CUTSCENE.......

mineru....there goes mom #4, twice

NOOOO IF SHE CRIES IM GONNA GET STARTED AGAIN

oh my god. that was amazing

this is my first time seeing the title screen. i haven't closed the game once since may 12

oh my god that was AMAZING. i am sitting here in total awe!!!!!!!

NOW i can finally enjoy zeldatube again.....i can hear all the theories........i can pirate this mf SOUNDTRACK HOLY SHIT. but first i gotta update my bingo board

wow. what a game

[lilypadding]

can you tell us what tags you use on the regularly? can be for anything, stuff you align with, laugh at, find cool etc etc

THANK YOU FOR ASKING I AM SO HAPPY !!!! HUGS YOU HUGS YOU HUGS Y

okay so I'm pretty bad at tagging things/having a tagging system, I had a blog back in 2016 (middle school) and I was so efficient at tagging my reblogged supernatural gifs, dan and phil clips, and voltron posting but when I lost access to that blog and made this new one I told myself not to take it as seriously (and somehow thought it'd be cringey if i was ultra organized?? which doesn't make sense and I'm still upset at myself for,,) SO for the first half of this blog I didn't tag anything I reblogged at all, I'd just go to town and go through tags I liked (mainly danganronpa) and reblogged infinitely. and I LOVE text shit-posts so it was a mix of everything I enjoyed and found funny

recently though I decided I want to be more organized about things I reblog, at least the main stuff. nagito komaeda is a character that my loved ones will have to pry out of my cold dead hands when i decease so i tag most things about him/art of him with just #nagito, similar to #hajime because they're the 2 characters i blog about the most, and of course the ship between them as #komahina -- I scroll through that one whenever I need comfort lols so having posts that I already love tagged as them on here is helpful for that.

if i see any general danganronpa art that isnt mainly nagito and/or hajime, ill add the #danganronpa/#dr2 tag (though not always)

((unfortunately since I got into that habit of not tagging ANYTHING when this blog started, half the time, I don't add tags even though I should. it's really more a vibes feeling, if I'm in a tagging-mood things will be tagged, and if I'm not then I don't))

i tag #taylor swift in case any of my followers want to mute posts about her since my main thing is dangan, and I know a lot of people dont like her. i also tag general other interests like #persona 5 and #sims 2 (the lore in this game goes CRAZY i cant even WHATEVER U GET IT)

i tag #suggestive for anything mildly NSFW again to help filter that content out for anyone uncomfortable seeing that

my #lisa tag is for my partner, anything that reminds me of her. tags like #ref are usually for posts that I want to re-read later or revisit, or anything that will be useful to me one day. sometimes ill see something interesting but dont have time to read it then and there so i reblog in a rush. #reminders is a recent one, it's for the same thing except more personal/more for me. and if i ever use #for me, it's essentially for the same.

ive started trying to use #lilyyaps for any post that I'm directly writing/shit-posting because I've never had a personalized tag for me yapping and posting (i was allergic to it until recently)

but yeah that's the extent of any "system" i have, all vibes no thoughts. nothing strict or crazy as u can tell. THANK you for asking though I really really appreciate the opportunity you handed me to yap <3<3

[mithliya]

Tbh I think a lot of lesbians on here have a kind of performative disgust for men. It makes sense seeing as this is radblr and everybody hates men here anyway. But the whole “ugh men are disgusting and hideous and seeing a shirtless man literally makes me want to puke” is… extreme to the point where I’d nearly say this is a result of trauma (not being a lesbian, but having this level of disgust for men).

Like, I’m a lesbian and I’m not disgusted by men at all. I just have absolutely zero sexual interest in them. I obviously wouldn’t want to interact with one sexually in any way but most of my friends are men and I see them shirtless at the beach regularly. My brothers as well. I don’t think any of them are disgusting. When pictures of the latest handsome male celeb come up on my timeline I just scroll by, I barely even notice them. I don’t go “ugh how dare anybody make me look at this hideous mess!”. I have gay male friends who aren’t disgusted by female bodies in the slightest, they just, again, don’t want sex with them. I don’t want to see men naked or whatever but I wouldn’t literally feel sick if I saw one, I’d just be like “lol”. I also can objectively see how somebody could find certain men handsome, cause I understand symmetry and fitness and what humans find attractive. Not cause I literally find them attractive myself.

Just… based on any gay ppl I know in real life I feel like this unbelievable performative level of disgust for the opposite sex is in some way a response to your sexuality being constantly questioned (which I understand) and feeling the need to affirm yourself and prove to everybody that you’re actually gay. Like if I saw a woman I wasn’t at all attracted to naked I wouldn’t be like “ew puke omg disgusting”, I’d be like “whatever”. The whole “men are NPCs” to me feels like it’s more a product of you being a radfem than being a lesbian. And I say this as a lesbian who is also a radfem.

to me seeing men irl that are shirtless doesn’t bother me bc i will just look away. i don’t want to look nor do i care to look, if i make myself look then ill probably eventually be grossed out by it bc im sitting there staring at a male body. no thanks. but if someone is asking me to look and im being treated like this is objectively attractive, i do feel immensely disgusted and will say ew to it. in the same way, when i see men on shows that are clearly being put there to evoke a “omg he’s so hot” reaction from women, i feel disgusted. if a man sends me pics of himself, ik he expects me to be into that somehow, im also automatically disgusted. but i don’t walk around shitting puking dying when there’s a shirtless man in my vicinity bc ill simply look away and ignore his presence. my disgust often comes when there’s this expectation of “you should think he’s hot” placed on me, or when im being forced to look at men for prolonged periods, bc then it highlights to me how he’s definitely not at all attractive to me and in fact interacting w him whatsoever would disgust me, so as a result im disgusted. in real life i simply do not even look at men for as long, so i don’t get disgusted, i feel purely neutral.

i can also understand (not often but from time to time i can see it) why some women find some men attractive. 99% of the time i don’t, but also ive paid attention to what is considered attractive and can then be like okay he does meet the attractive criteria i guess. most times tho i don’t even understand why women find random men attractive at all and it’s baffling to me 😭

also u can think im pretending if u want dhdhshs most times i don’t literally want to throw up, i don’t think i said i do, but i do often think they’re v ugly bc they are. men being NPCs to me has always been the case im afraid, nothing to do with radical feminism there. if something is very male-centric i simply get bored.

[youngpettyqueen]

was tagged by @thebreakfastgenie- list 10 comfort shows, and tag 10 people! thanks for the tag!!

so ill be real I dont really do comfort shows very much? I have like, comfort episodes of shows, but I tend to go for comfort movies haha. ive been wracking my brain for a while and I really cant come up with 10 shows I would consider comfort shows, so I hope its ok that I only list 5

1: Doctor Who (2005) is the biggest one, ever since I was 12. I specifically tend to go for s5 - s6 episodes with the 11th Doctor, he's my favourite, I imprinted on him the second I laid eyes on him, hence my big tattoo of his sonic + bowtie. I used to watch Doctor Who every single day in high school, and would often use it as my motivation to just get through the day

2: MASH has become a huge one, lately when I need comfort I go straight to MASH episodes. I keep a list of comfort episodes (not just for MASH, for all my favourite shows) but I'll also sometimes just scroll through my options and pick whatever jumps out at me, even if its not on the list

3: The Mandalorian is probably the closest I have to a true comfort show, in that ill just rewatch the entire thing for comfort. if im having a bad week I can just put it on and be through it in a day or two. its my favourite of the Star Wars shows, and ive rewatched it more times than I care to count lol

4: Columbo is also very close to being a comfort show in that I could just put it on and let it play to shake off a bad mood. to be fair, though, I havent seen all of Columbo yet, I just find watching it to be very comforting

5: Star Trek (TOS and TNG) gonna include both as one since same franchise. I literally just wrapped up TNG last night but ive seen TOS all the way through a few times. TNG I target specific episodes, but TOS I could just throw on and let play, hard to go wrong with either tbh because even some of the really bad episodes are at least very very funny

since I only did 5 ill only tag 5 people- @onekisstotakewithme @cuddleswinchester @rescue-ram @persianflaw @appotheosis

[mageofseven]

Hiii I saw you had match ups open for obey me and I’d love it if you did one for me with any of the boys!!! (Hopefully I understood your guidelines right)

I’m not too good at describing myself, but I’ll do my best 😭 I’m kinda bad with zodiac stuff but I’m a Capricorn (whatever that means) which is fun since I don’t share that sign with any of them I think lol

Personality wise I’m a very loud person, I have terrible volume control, and I tend to be very cheery!! Think glitter and sparkles and rainbows personified basically. However because god hates me I’m also really awkward and terrible at social interaction so I sorta just end up making a fool out of myself a lot 😭😭😭 I don’t really go out much or have a lot of irl friends so it’s a STRUGGLE and I’m constantly worried that people think I’m weird or come across as like, creepy idk, it kinda sucks cause I do love to talk to people but I can’t help that I’m bad at it!!!!!!

(The undiagnosed autism doesn’t help probably)

So yeah as for hobbies and stuff I’m an artist!! I’m studying it in college and it’s basically my whole life, I’m trying to get to a point where I could one day illustrate a story!! I’m best with traditional stuff like oil painting but I’m practicing digital art too!! Writing is also something I like to do though I’m less confident at it, reading is also a hobby of mine and trust me I could go on like, a million long year RANT about Frankenstein I’m like so mentally ill about it

Ofc I love video games too!!! Mostly RPGs and JRPGs, but I also like visual novels and horror games of all types!!! Currently my favorite game is probabblyyyyyyyyyy the elder scrolls III Morrowind, I love that game to death! I play league of legends too and YES I GENUINELY THINK ITS FUN 😭😭😭😭 anyway,,, I like anime and manga too, haven’t been that crazy about it for a while but still, oh and I cosplay too!!

ALSO ALSO I love stuffed animals I have a huge collections of them and I cannot sleep without at least one because my cat is MEAN and refuses to sleep besides me at night and I get lonely :(

Okay I think that’s it sorry if I rambled on for ages looll I just rlly rlly love obey me atm and I’m in love with every single one of the guys!!! (sans luke obvi he’s my son) Hopefully I gave you enough to work with ^v^ have a nice day!!!!!!!!!! <3 ✨ ✨

- 🦄 (my cool anon signature even tho this is just one part)

Awwww first off, bless you for feeling the love for our precious baby angel son Lukey 🥰💕

Secondly, despite keeping all of the Boys in mind, your description brought two Brothers to mind, but one yelled louder in my head

And this is partially because of your own volume since you said you have bad volume control, but are cheerful~

I pair you with...

Mammon

This man would love your cutesy, cheerful personality! And it would make his brain short circuit at times 😅

Getting together would be a bit difficult considering considering you're awkward and struggle with social skills and this man is extremely awkward for those he has feelings for. He will make a fool out himself time and time again.

Honestly, y'all will probably be best friends long before you date, giving you plenty of time to get comfy with with him and show your loud n' sweet side. Like dear, neither of y'all know how to control your volume, to the dismay of the other brothers, but it's okay bc you're both having fun!

When people think video games, they usually think Levi, but Mammon like playing them too! He'd love to play games with you or even watch you play your favorite games (though he'll probably talk the entire time you play so hopefully you don't mind 😅)

Honestly, he knows very little about art, but I think he'd enjoy watching you draw, especially when using oil painting because I doubt he's truly seen anyone do anything like that before. He'd be honestly impressed by your skill, but maybe a biiiiiit too embarrassed to say so at first.

Also, HE WILL BUY YOU SOOOO MANY NEW STUFFIES. Like for real, he finds you collecting stuffed animals to be really cute. I can totally see him just randomly buying you more stuffies, but even more so, this man will take every chance he gets to win you one from a crane game and show off his skills...or lack there of lol.

I did think about pairing you with Levi, but I think the third brother would appreciate your lack of volume control less than Mammon does.

[sshewolfiona]

I really need some support right now!!

#follow me if you are willing to accept me for me and please tell me I'm not the only one that's confused about their gender identity these days ?

⛈️✨I'm at a low place in my life and I'm very much letting my depression get the best of me!🪐⛈️🪐⛈️🦕💕

I almost feel like I have no good reason to carry on anymore and that I should do everyone a fkn favor and off myself😓😥😟😖. I'm just gonna come out of the closet on here to basically whole world but I know not many will see my story; they will scroll by ... I know, I get it😢nobody ever had the time for me before in this life time so why now would I actually have even one person that is willing to listen and actually help me through my silent struggle... Suffering in silence is killing me that's why ... 💜⚡I'm here today to ...be able to say

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

🌈Coming out of the closet today🌈 everyone!! 😮❣️I can't keep my sweet silent lies down deep.. I'm here and I'm queer get used to it .🤐 Not really but listen if you'd like to hear my sexual identity crisis ..

I just have had one fck of a time on this Earth and finally at this age , oh my, 😮⚡⚡🌈 I find myself looking to LGBTQ hashtags and forums for answers on what's exactly wrong with me!!

Long story short : I knew there were many things about my inner world and the way I experienced it that made me very different from everyone.... And I have just found the words ; asexual 🌈💚 and aromantic so yes. I am Ace-Aro very very aro ... Sex repulsed aro ... And that's not all ... Actually I today, found that I have to admit I'm non-binary too. I've been ashamed and had found this part of my life, my sexual life, was very deeply embarassing and had not quite fit society standards and now I'm finally relieved a great deal that there are words for all that I'm going through and ii don't have to feel so weird about dating anymore I'll just be straight up about my sexual identity and preferences ........ For now tho. I have been seeing a dude that is heterosexual so this straight male is my partner. We are best friends.. and we have our own sex ONLY WHEN IM COMFORTABLE AND REALLY WANTING TO !!!! It's special occasion for sex to happen.. he has been molested as a child so he always understood how sex can be touchy and he NEVER pressured me. I feel like he could be not totally but on the spectrum of aromatic.... Idk .. we are good together so far.. but there is much more for us to move on from like personal past issues. We both need therapy for abuse and sexual abuse and before we deal with that then we will try bs support each other ... We are so shy and painfully awkward when it comes to gender roles or out own roles in the relationship like he's such a very sensitive man he really gets hurt by my just experience.. at first when I came out as asexual to him he said " so you don't find me attractive?? Why don't you find me attractive? What can I do to turn you on and make my appearance more attractive?!" And I was really for the first-time being faced with the real issue that actually " I don't find anyone attractive" so I hunted online for the solution. I felt broken and wanted a cure.

Lol

But it turns out I was born this way and iit is not a mental illness ...

I did go to the doctor tho....

I'm autistic .. diagnosed autism is scary ! It's a huge label. But it also makes me angry that all these years they diagnose Me this change it to that and I never got anywhere in any of the definition of bipolar and scizo such whatever the problem is is that ok I took so many meds I never needed and for years were not designed for my chemical imbalance which I never had turns out !!

Wow 😲 so much going on

🌈🌈So I found my true identity! Sexual identity,🌈😎😎🌈💚🖤 can I just be accepted and loved by some members of the #Witchcraft community or the LGBTQ community please at least LIKE. My post. And comment anybody wanna be my friend ?? I'm lonely lonely so lonely all on my only and I need someone to relate to other than these cis people !!!

[cubedmango]

I’m so upset about the tags :(( like we’re going to have to scroll back ages to find any content for cm how hard was it to just call it something else… and you’re so right while I was watching I felt as though it was missing something? Like ignoring how pissed off it made me to see /him/ playing one of my favourite characters ever it just didn’t feel like cherry magic should to me there wasn’t that sweet unique loving silliness about it… the casting apart from him is good I agree but even that lift scene seeing him try and fail to embody that adachi-like nervousness when karan falls on him just killed me I can’t I wish I could go about my life in peace without being reminded about this GOD

the name thing wouldnt be so bad normally bc usually adaptations of a thing do have the same name as the thing but theres such a massive flood of new people coming in doing their own thing and tagging every unrelated fucking post w the shows tags and its just So Goddamed Annoying like im here to look for news and fan content not stuff abt the actors that has nothing to do w the show stop !!!! augh. cant stand these people

i was so ready to reluctantly be like "ok that guy sucks but his acting is fine for the role" but i reaalllly dont think he fits tbh ??? probs not fair to compare him to akasos portrayal since its not based on that but even going off how adachi acts in the manga i rlly couldnt see many similarities mannerism-wise so idk .? we didnt see any bits of achi and karan properly talking pre-relationship either (only staring at each other for like 5 unique snippets which. sure! chemistry or whatever!!) and that last scene is nothing like how it goes in vol 7 so im not rlly sure what to think lol. but i did appreciate how karans actor voices his thoughts it was very kurosawa-esque no issues there dkjksjg anyway not sure why im thinking abt this so hard when i have no intention of watching the thing so ill shut up now

[roxannarambles]

title: second chances (chapter one)

ship: goldenlight (luz x hunter)

notes: takes place sometime after ‘reaching out’ but before ‘hollow mind.’ (set in my standard canon-divergent AU where everything’s the same except no L*mity)

summary: Hunter’s doing his best to get the hang of having Penstagram friends, but there’s still one person in particular he’s hoping to reconnect with . . .

Hunter was propped up in bed that evening, his face buried deep in a book, absorbed in reading about the fascinating worlds of mindscapes. He was so enraptured that when he felt a buzzing in his pocket, he startled with a jerk. Then he remembered the source of the buzzing and retrieved the magic scroll he had carefully tucked away. Cautiously, he opened the scroll and took a peek.

Hello_Willow:

Hey, Caleb. How's it hanging?

His eyes narrowed as he studied the text, and he felt a little spike of anxiety. He wasn't sure what the message meant, and decoding the language that witches used on their magic scrolls was something he was still learning to do. He pecked out a reply on the tiny magic keyboard.

Rulerzreachf4n:

whatdoes thast meean,?

Ugh, the little buttons on the screen were really tiny and incredibly difficult to use. After a few moments, he received a reply.

Hello_Willow:

Just asking how you're doing

He blinked, considering the question. How was he doing?

Hmm. It wasn't really something that he was normally asked. He thought about his day. Most of it had been spent doing rather menial tasks, considering what his rank was. Training drills for the junior scouts, a few dull meetings, some paperwork, a brief patrol. The highlight of the day had been when he saw Kikimora trip in the cafeteria and spill her bowl of bone marrow pudding.

Rulerzreachf4n:

im ok i huess, prettty boring day. howearee you,?

Hello_Willow:

Not too bad. Got my midterm back today and got a perfect score, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Hello_Willow:

Oh also, I think we found a replacement for our team!

Hello_Willow:

For until you can make another game, I mean.

Hello_Willow:

He's pretty great, a bit rusty but a lot of potential, I'm confident we can mold him into a master.

After a brief pause, a photo popped up, showing a skinny boy in Flyer Derby uniform practicing on the field. Hunter studied the image for a moment.

Rulerzreachf4n:

isnthat the kid viney wasd so mad. at?obn the opossing tream?

Hello_Willow:

lol yeah, that's jerbo. she made him take an everlasting oath to remain loyal to our team.

Hello_Willow:

I think the Emerald Entrails are gonna have an amazing season. A shame we'll be missing our powerhouse player for most of it, but I'm sure we'll manage just fine in the meantime 🙂

Hunter spent some time just staring at the message. He was still trying to get used to the idea that other witches actually wanted to talk to him and were nice to him. It was a very alien concept, and part of him was still in disbelief it had happened at all.

Rulerzreachf4n:

goos to hear.good. to hear.

Rulerzreachf4n:

ill be watichng the games and cherringfor you guys

Hello_Willow:

Great! We appreciate the support 🧹 🏆

The text was accompanied with an emoji that looked like a little witch riding a staff, and then a little golden trophy. He had no idea how to make the keyboard produce those little pictures, but it made him chuckle a little when he saw Willow's message.

Setting his scroll down, he leaned further back against the headboard of his bed. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

It really had been a very strange couple of days.

Hunter wasn't even sure what to make of it. He had been so incredibly focused on a single goal that day he flew out to Hexside. Nothing else mattered except finding out a way to prove himself worthy of his position, of his title. He was ready to do whatever it took to impress Darius. And then maybe once he impressed Darius, Belos would finally start to see him as useful too. He could make up for all his past mistakes and imperfections.

But along the way, something weird happened. He started to enjoy himself, in his little role as a Hexside student. Actually talking to other witches his age. Getting the chance to do something that was just for fun. Even showing off a little.

He didn't expect to become so invested. He didn't expect to get to know those students, to start caring about what happened to them. They were supposed to just be a means to his ends. Nothing more.

He was so certain. So confident in his position, in his role in life. He was the Golden Guard; the Emperor's right-hand man. Devoted, loyal, unwavering.

And yet, that night, he wavered. Things no longer seemed quite so simple and straightforward. He saw the pain in the eyes of the students he'd hauled in, the pain that he'd put there. And eventually, he stood up for them, shielded them from harm, shielded them from the fate of being bound to the Emperor's Coven.

Everything happened so fast that night, as though he wasn't even sure of what he was doing. His own behavior shocked him. It wasn't like him at all. But he didn't regret it, he realized. Even if Darius had punished him, he would have still done it.

And now, through some bizarre quirk, he had his first real friends. At least, he was pretty sure he did. The gaggle of Hexside students he helped escape could have easily just ignored him and gone back to their lives as usual. And yet, they didn't. They had "followed" him on Penstagram and would send him messages on occasion. They knew exactly what Hunter had done, and yet they still forgave him in the end. Not only that, but they wanted to remain in contact.

Hunter picked up the scroll that was resting on the bed beside him. Flicking through, he brought the page up that had the group photo of their team winning. He smiled faintly, at how happy everyone was, all together in their team uniforms.

"Friends," Hunter muttered, still in awe of such a concept applying to him. With a warm little flutter in his chest, he set the scroll back down and smiled.

But after a few moments, his thoughts strayed to somewhere new.

Friends . . .

His mind flashed to one person in particular. A girl who had occupied his thoughts for many, many weeks, despite all of his efforts to forget about her. He felt the familiar twinge of regret thinking back to her.

I thought you might've been a good guy. But I guess that was just wishful thinking. You're not my friend, you're just the Golden Guard.

It had been such a strange feeling when she'd said it to him, like a knife twisting in his chest. At first, he didn't even understand why it had hurt so much. Why should he care what she thought of him? She was nothing. Just some meddling human who had strayed too far and foolishly blundered into the demon realm.

She was so ridiculous and weird and foolish, running into everything without even thinking. So soft and weak. So . . . strangely good at thinking on her feet and solving problems. So weirdly effective at standing up to him with her own skills. So intriguing and different. So footloose and fancy-free. So wild. So unlike anyone he'd ever met before.

So willing to reach out, even to a person like him.

Hunter had tried to forget about her. But he couldn't seem to shake her from his mind. During the day, it was easy enough. He could occupy his mind with his duties, keep his thoughts disciplined and rigorously in check. At night, though, when the hour grew late and his body was weary, his mind would always wander. And he would think of her.

She was the first person who had ever really tried to understand him sincerely. To treat him like something other than merely a means to some an end or an adversary to defeat. She had treated him like . . . like his thoughts and feelings mattered. That fateful night, he had found himself responding to it, and he'd ended up telling her things he'd never should have, but the words had tumbled out of him anyway. He found himself wanting to trust her. Wanting her to know him. And wanting to know her, too. Perhaps for the very first time, wanting a genuine friend.

He had turned on her though, the first moment opportunity had arrived-- ever the loyal soldier. And so he crushed the opportunity of friendship to dust.

Hunter huffed in disgust at himself, crossing his arms. He laid here now in his room and had the gall to wonder if she still might consider being his friend. To dare have that hope. To think, just because he'd gained friendship with some students who were also her friends, that they might somehow sway her. What a selfish, stupid thing to hope for.

He was better off without her, anyhow. It was just too complicated. She made him question so many things. He'd barely spent any time with her at all, and yet even with the briefest of contacts, she'd somehow gotten into his head and never gotten back out. He was indulging in reading more and more about wild magic, he was bonded to a palisman. He was doubting the ways the Emperor’s Coven was running things, he was questioning and hesitating and even defying the Coven, in small little ways that were adding up.

Hunter pressed his hands against his face, closing his eyes and rubbing them. It was late, and his thoughts were dancing along a dangerous path again like they often did at this hour. Playing back the memories-- the melodic lilt of her laughter, the mischievous glint in her gold-brown eyes, the silly little smile when she'd leaned in and spoke excitedly to him about wild magic.

Could she ever . . . consider him a friend?

"Stop it," Hunter mumbled to himself, trying to extinguish the glimmer of hope flickering inside him.

There was a gentle buzzing sound from beside him.

He leaned back up and picked the scroll up. It was a new message from Willow.

Hello_Willow:

btw I gave your contact info to Luz, hope you don't mind

Hello_Willow:

she was asking about you earlier

Hunter felt all the air exit his lungs. Frantically, his fingers tapped the little keyboard.

Rulerzreachf4n:

wwswaitwhrt

Rulerzreachf4n:

what

Rulerzreachf4n:

ewhat was she askijng?

He stared intensely at the screen as he waited for Willow to type out a reply.

Hello_Willow:

Kinda everything, she freaked out when she learned about our little adventure on wednesday

Hello_Willow:

She wanted me to tell her everything that happened and what I thought of you and everything you said and stuff

Hello_Willow:

oh and she kept asking for the videos of our game

"Uhh," Hunter grunted, trying to keep his pounding heart under control. What did that mean? Did that mean anything? Oh, Titan, was she actually going to contact him?

Rulerzreachf4n:

duid she seem mad ir somejing?

Hello_Willow:

Mad? No, I don't think so

Hello_Willow:

More like, surprised

Ok, ok. Surprised wasn't bad, necessarily. Honestly, it didn't tell him a lot, though. He made a frustrated noise.

Hello_Willow:

Should I not have told her?

He quickly reassured her.

Rulerzreachf4n:

n o its fine,.

After a few minutes, he received another reply.

Hello_Willow:

Ok.

Hello_Willow:

Well I have an early day tomorrow so I'll talk to you later, Caleb 

Rulerzreachf4n:

ok

Hunter tried not to let it bother him, but he had more than a little difficulty falling asleep that night.

 Next morning, after smacking the tiny demon that acted as his alarm clock to silence it, he grumbled and rolled over, not really feeling keen to leap out of bed at the crack of dawn like usual. A few minutes later there was a buzzing from his nightstand. Tiredly, he reached over to check it.

Hello_Willow:

Good morning!

Hello_Willow:

Clover was looking real cute so I had to share 😊

There was a picture of the little bee creature sleeping in its own tiny bed. He had to admit, it was pretty cute. Not as cute as Flapjack, of course.

Crawling out of bed and stretching, he was about to grab his cape off his chair, but noticed Flapjack curled up adorably inside it. His heart melting, he grabbed his scroll and snapped several pictures.

Then he messed about with the scroll, trying to figure out how to send the photo to Willow. While he was in the midst of trying to work this out, the scroll buzzed and a new message popped up. It wasn't from Willow, though. Hunter opened it.

THEOWLLADY:

Are you good now?

THEOWLLADY:

Is Belos evil?? You can tell me!

THEOWLLADY:

Also hi!

THEOWLLADY:

It's Luz!

Hunter balked, his heart leaping as he read the words, immediately falling into a panic. Oh Titan, it was her, what-- what should he say?

Luz proceeded to bombard him with a series of emoji.

THEOWLLADY:

👻⛈️🌸☘️🌈

THEOWLLADY:

🦖✨🎉💥🦇

He felt his face warm and he quickly grew irritated with himself. This was ridiculous, she was just-- this was-- this was too much, it was too early in the morning for him to deal with this human! And who did she think she was, talking to him like they were old buddies or whatever?

His fingers fumbled as he tried to type.

Rulerzreachf4n:

LEAVE.ME ALONE

In his rush to reply, he accidentally sent the picture of Flapjack to her. Embarassed, he struggled with the keyboard to salvage the mistake.

Rulerzreachf4n:

sORry.wrong.person.,.

A few seconds later (how did she type so fast??) Luz answered back,

THEOWLLADY:

Omg he's ADORABLE!! lookit the cutie wootie lil rascal birbie baby boyy~~~

Hunter glared at the scroll, writing a response.

Rulerzreachf4n:

thaT's NOT His naME1!

Rulerzreachf4n:

hiS nanes is flapjack

He waited for several moments before he received an abrupt reply.

THEOWLLADY:

sorry hunter gtg for now something came up

THEOWLLADY:

talk to u later 😄😄😄

And that was it. He stared at his scroll for a little while, feeling confused and annoyed. Seriously? She was just gonna drop that on him and leave? What was even going through her head?

Hunter's alarm demon started shrieking again, and he jerked in surprise. Reaching over, he whacked it into silence again. Damnit, he always forgot when he left that thing on snooze.

Dropping the scroll, he sighed and rubbed his face. He had things to do, he needed to forget about this nonsense.

 He didn't receive another message from her until two days later. It arrived in the early evening, when Hunter had just gotten off his patrol shift. He read it after he'd reached his room and removed his armor and gear.

THEOWLLADY:

Hey Hunter, it's Luz. I wanted to apologize for the other day

THEOWLLADY:

I wasn't really in the greatest mindset at the time I texted you

THEOWLLADY:

And I thought about it later and realized how it probably came off

THEOWLLADY:

probably looked like the only reason I wanted to talk to you was so I could use you for information

THEOWLLADY:

and that was really crappy of me. I'm sorry.

He sat down on the foot of his bed, and the scroll soon buzzed again.

THEOWLLADY:

anyway. willow told me about the whole flyer derby thing.

There was a long pause, the window displaying a series of three dots that indicated she was in the middle of typing. Then, after all that waiting, the message that popped up was rather short.

THEOWLLADY:

you guys looked really cool out there

Hunter gazed at his scroll for a very long time, feeling conflicted and overwhelmed. He had no idea how to proceed with the conversation-- or if he even wanted to reply.

All right, that last part was a lie. Of course he wanted to reply. But with what?

The scroll buzzed in his hands.

THEOWLLADY:

it was nice seeing you look so happy. you have a nice smile

Hunter swallowed, his face growing a little warm. More messages quickly followed.

THEOWLLADY:

anyway aahgain sorry aboutbefore

THEOWLLADY:

I'm gonna go have dinner,see you around I guess

THEOWLLADY:

or not, you're not obligated to answer or anything

THEOWLLADY:

so. yeah. bye

The scroll fell silent after that. Hunter tried for a while to formulate some sort of reply, but eventually he gave up and chickened out. He went back to his evening and tried to put it out of his mind. Somehow, he was able to do so pretty successfully.

Until the hour grew very late. It was 1:20am when Hunter finished his nightly reading and found his mind swimming in thoughts. He stared at the scroll sitting on his bed for a while, internally debating with himself.

Eventually, he reached out and grabbed it, flicking open the messenger window and typing.

He had a little more practice now with the awkward keyboard, so he was able to produce clearer messages, thankfully.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I didnt mean for itn to happen

Rulerzreachf4n:

I was just tryong to recruit some stidents to please my superiors

Rulerzreachf4n:

I dodnt expect it tobe...

Rulerzreachf4n:

kinda fun. didnt expect to get tto know them.

He paused for a moment. He didn't think Luz would be awake at this hour, and honestly, that was a blessing. He wanted to get it all out before he changed his mind.

 Rulerzreachf4n:

Iwas going to turn them in anyway.

Rulerzreachf4n:

except. this time,I realized how stupid I was being.

Rulerzreachf4n:

when i was standing there, looking at them in the cell

Rulerzreachf4n:

at how hurt and betrayed they looked, i remembered the last time Id done that.

Rulerzreachf4n:

how much i s crewed things up.

Rulerzreachf4n:

so I tried to fix it before it was too late.

Rulerzreachf4n:

and. somehow they forgave me. orat least, i think they did.

Rulerzreachf4n:

so i giess I have friends.now.

Rulerzreachf4n:

i guess.whatever that means. im still not sure.

He stopped typing, his mind drifting on recent events. He was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to even realize that the little 'busy' dots had appeared on-screen. His eyes widened. A few moments later, messages appeared.

THEOWLLADY:

I'm glad you finally found some people you could connect with. that's honestly really cool.

THEOWLLADY:

i probably did a pretty lousy job at trying to reach out to you, anyway. but I'm glad you found people you really vibe with.

Hunter felt that now-familiar sensation; guilt and regret twisting in his chest like a knife. In the past, he'd always ignored it, but tonight was going to be different. He wasn't going to ignore it this time.

Before he could think the better of it, he started tapping on the scroll and just kept going.

Rulerzreachf4n:

no, you dont get it. thats not it at all.

Rulerzreachf4n:

titan, you have no idea. i think about that day in latissa so much.

 Rulerzreachf4n:

youre like no one i've ever met before. and. everything changed atfer that day. i .

Rulerzreachf4n:

i started quetstioning everything and.

Rulerzreachf4n:

you were right about the palismen. i was an idiot. they aree alive. they're not just mindless tools.

Rulerzreachf4n:

they have souls. and youre, the first person to make me stop and think like that.

Rulerzreachf4n:

but not just that, the first person i actually....

Rulerzreachf4n:

i dont know, the first one i felt i really wanted to truist and get to know

Rulerzreachf4n:

but i threw it all away like an idiot.

He looked at his own messages, surprised he'd vomited all that information out.

Well. If he was being honest, he may as well go all the way.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'm sorry. I stole those palismen, i took that key, i did all that stuff just so i could get belos' approval. didnt stop to think about who it was hurting.

Rulerzreachf4n:

it was for the greater good, buit. i didn't even try to figure out if there were other ways to do it., ways that could abvoid hurting others like that

Rulerzreachf4n:

i'm not looking for forgiveness,. I just wanted you to know i'm sorry.

After that, he put the scroll down, deciding he'd better stop before he spilled his guts even more. He hoped Luz would simply ignore him, because that would be the easiest outcome. He'd wake up tomorrow and just go about his day.

However, the scroll buzzed again after a minute or two. He was afraid to look.

THEOWLLADY:

hey so um about that

THEOWLLADY:

you said you threw away your chance to be friends, but.

THEOWLLADY:

what if I just....give you another one?

He stared at the messages, puzzled.

Rulerzreachf4n:

what?

She clarified quickly.

THEOWLLADY:

A second chance at your first friend, you know?

THEOWLLADY:

How's that sound?

He felt his heart squeeze in his chest, but it seemed far too good to be true. People like him didn't get second chances. They didn't deserve them.

Still, after gazing at her texts for a while, he replied with nervous fingers.

Rulerzreachf4n:

do you really mean that?

She answered immediately.

THEOWLLADY:

yeah. I do.

He was tempted to just agree to it; oh, how he was tempted. But he knew things weren't as simple as she was making them to be. Swallowing the bitter feeling in this throat, he carefully wrote out his answer.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I don't think you get it. I'm still the Golden Guard. I can't give that up, I still think Belos is building a better future for everyone. i dont agree with everything he does but. i'm not gonna betray him. Would you still want to be my friend, knowing that?

He waited tensely in silence for her answer. When it came, however, it wasn't what he expected.

THEOWLLADY:

I understand.

THEOWLLADY:

I don't think he has the good of others in mind, but I accept that we disagree on that.

THEOWLLADY:

I won't try to force you to change.

THEOWLLADY:

like, full disclosure, I still will talk about Belos, but I won't try to force you to change your mind.

His brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend her perspective. Was it really that simple? It didn't make a lot of sense to him. How could she consider him a friend when he still was technically her enemy?

He thought about it for a while, and realized the other Hexside students he'd befriended had basically already done the same thing. Perhaps he just didn't understand friendship very well.

Eventually, despite his nervousness over the whole situation, he decided he wasn't going to turn down his second chance. Not this time.

He awkwardly typed out a reply.

Rulerzreachf4n:

ok,well. then i guess..I guess if you really want to. it would be ok with me to. be friends.

The human followed up with an explosion of colorful emoji, the screen scrolling to accomodate all the pictures, before answering with a normal text.

THEOWLLADY:

awesome!! ok so as your new bestie I must tell you that the name of your palisman is the most adorable thing to ever exist ohmygod FLAPJACK I LOVE IT you made his name a PUN and an amazing one!

THEOWLLADY:

seriously. it's so good.

A little thrown off by the sudden topic switch, he took a moment to process.

Rulerzreachf4n:

well I didnt actually name him

Rulerzreachf4n:

he told me that was his na,me

Rulerzreachf4n:

I actuallydont even know what a flapjack is

Rulerzreachf4n:

i asked belos and he said itwas a kind of pancake?

She seemed to be incredibly tickled with this.

THEOWLLADY:

wait seriously?? oh man, hunter, we need to make you some

THEOWLLADY:

when you visit I'll make you some pancakes, they're so good, it's like a human delicacy

THEOWLLADY:

might take me a bit to find the right flour in the demon realm but I know I can do it

Hunter fumbled with the keyboard, typing out,

I cant.really, well. I'm not.

He erased it and started again, flustered.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I cant just go and visit you, people wouldnotice

THEOWLLADY:

Oh right right, sorry, didn't mean to overstep

THEOWLLADY:

No worries, we can do it at some point in the theoretical future when the whole island isnt in the grips of uhhh. all that repressive regime stuff etc etc

THEOWLLADY:

Or hey I can send you the recipe, it's really easy!

Hunter groaned, feeling like he was getting emotional whiplash talking to this girl. He wondered if he would regret agreeing to all of this.

THEOWLLADY:

it's weird that your palisman's named after a human thing though, now that I think about it

THEOWLLADY:

did he tell you anything about his previous witch? were they the one who named him?

THEOWLLADY:

ah crap sorry if that's prying or anything

THEOWLLADY:

I'm just very curious, you can tell me if I'm asking too many questions

The thing of it was, she was right. It was strange, and it had been something he'd wondered about.

Rulerzreachf4n:

When I asked him about his previous witchj, hedidnt want to talk about it

Rulerzreachf4n:

I think it's kind of painful for him to think about.

THEOWLLADY:

oh, I see. that makes sense. most of the palismen the bat queen takes care of probably have some pretty painful memories.

THEOWLLADY:

well, I'm glad he found you. he seems happy.

Hunter smiled faintly, glancing over at the palisman snoozing on his bedpost.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'm glad too.

After a few minutes, he received a few final messages for the night.

THEOWLLADY:

Well I'm gonna try to get some sleep, but it was nice talking to you.

THEOWLLADY:

See you later, Hunter.

He gazed hesitantly at the scroll, still surprised at how the evening had turned out. Was this something that would actually last? He had no idea.

But in the moment, he decided to be hopeful.

Rulerzreachf4n:

yeah.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'll see you later.

Part Two

[jiminrings]

what happened to mc after that?? JUNGKOOK I WILL WHOOP YO FUCKING ASS

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

the aftermath of stem koo breaking senior!y/n's heart

"do you need anything from us?"

yoongi asks you for the fifth time in the twenty minutes you've been home, heart breaking from the inside out when you haven't moved a single inch

he is begging that the thing you need from him and jin is to go beat j*ngkook up

HE CAN'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME WITHOUT BEING ANGRY AT HIM!!!!!!!

anything. anything to atleast make you sleep in peace tonight.

or them honestly,, either way

your body's facing the backrest of the couch and maybe that's for the better, because that way, seokjin won't feel the need to cry looking at the coldest person he's known to be openly vulnerable

you're still wearing your jersey!!! your stained dirty jersey that you've been in for the past three hours and the reason that it's still wet was that you've been using it to wipe your tears all the way to the dorm

"no. i'll be alright."

you mumble for the fifth time out of the five times you've been asked, and yoongi just has to grapple at his fist because he knows that being frustrated wouldn't help

you are the fURTHEST thing from okay

to be honest, it was only a miracle that you told the two of them what happened in the first place

it was in between sobs that you asked them why they were friends with you and they couldn't be anymore dumbfounded

it was in between violent tears that you mentioned hyeji that seokjin looked for a box of tissues because you've been intentionally rubbing your eyes raw

it was in between heaving that you said that no one wants to go the extra mile for me that yoongi started holding your cheeks and trying to get you to breathe with him in his panic too

it was in between hiccups that you uttered that no one wants to walk me home and that's when both of yoongi's and seokjin's throats started tightening, the dots hazy yet aligning nonetheless

it was in silence when you told that jungkook said that no one likes me, and that's when out of the three of you in the room – you're the one who's the calmest.

"okay. i'll bring you a blanket."

yoongi leaves it at that, standing from his spot on the floor to walk over to the kitchen where the blankets cLEARLY aren't there

no one really prepared yoongs for this

no one really is

there isn't a manual on how to act when the dearest friend that you have is crying their guts out for the first time

he can't explain his close bond with you and he's always seen you as his platonic girlfriend!!! his platonic girlfriend who has a bond with him that's closer than a sister's, more understanding than a mother's, and the utter admiration more than a friend's

you r literally yoongi's (platonic) soulmate and he would die on that hill

he would rather subject himself to torture via having to stay in a freshman's dorm equipped with the de facto led strip lights everyday!!! every single day, than to see you like this :(((

"what do you have on the bitch?" yoongi doesn't spare his words when he sits on the kitchen stool next to jin's figure

the dude is sTANDING and that means business

jin doesn't feel a single ounce of regret fetching his work laptop and scrolling through the files and tabs he has on every single student on campus, eyes only looking for one lee hyeji that's contributed to your anguish rn

jungkook is atleast 3/4 in this equation and seokjin will get to him of course

no one makes his emotional support best friend cry and nOT pay the consequences for it!!!!

in another life, vincenzo cassano's character is based on seokjin and the events in his life that definitely happened >:(

"she's daddy's money. can't fucking believe that sHE'S representing the school," he sighs in genuine annoyance, but not loud enough to pique your attention as he turns the screen so yoongi could clearly see her headshots, "must be a diversity hire. every university needs a fucking bimbo, apparently."

you see,,, yoongi would've SNORTED at that but now is not the time!!! he is still planning discreet retribution to avenge you!!!!

jin lets yoongi look at hyeji's entire file, wanting to get even the smallest bits even if the information he's taking in is against his will

he'll immediately delete whatever he learns about her right after it's served its purpose

"just messaged the faculty groupchat," seokjin himself didn't imagine the words coming out from his lips determinedly, but he knows that he's willing to do anything for the sake of this, "been crushing on jeon ever since the start of last semester. philosophy professor thinks it's because he once saw jungkook lending her a pen when they were in the topic of soulmates."

jesus christ

now THAT'S just annoying ://

this

whatever this is

seokjin and yoongi don't know what they're digging all this information for

they don't know what this unspoken plan is for, or if they even have a plan in the first place

if jin were to tell the faculty gc about this???

absolute mayhem

but he knows for a fact that they'd hate star student jungkook easily within a tap of a finger

the philosophy prof would lose all sense of rationality and reasoning and INSTANTLY point to jungkook as an asshole!!! no questions asked!!!! no elaborations!!!!

"i could get jeon eliminated from all the academic listings he's in."

jin pipes in at the silence that he and yoongi share, both listless in this situation that they never expected to encounter with you

"i could always spread a rumor and make him unlikeable."

yoongi toys with the rings that he wears, a heavy exhale tearing away from him

they could think of a thousand other ways to get back at jungkook!!! they literally can

seokjin knows a contract guy who leaves shredded paper with his contract's initials written on red ink (for a base fee of three dollars, he can switch up the ink for you!!!) right next to their side on the bed

yoongi knows a guy whose modus operandi is to discreetly follow people, have subliminals playing in the background (for an extra fee of ten dollars, he'll use wireless bass-boosted speakers), and continue doing so until the desired message is achieved!!!!

none of the people they have connections to could employ the same amount of pain he's caused on you

there's literally nothing that could hit home with jungkook besides you.

but there's no way to do that and even in your state of anger and sadness tHEN utter vulnerability, you can't even really think of hurting jungkook in the way he did

because you know and yoongi knows and seokjin knows and everyone knows that you aren't the type to wish ill

you admit that sometimes you're unavailable but you don't want that to be an asshole-reason to make everyone else around you suffer in the same way you do

the people around you aren't your shock absorbers!!!! that's why you hang out a teddy bear on your doorknob when you're mad so that neither yoongi or jin would have the possibility to be caught in your rage

that's why you call for a break when your soccer team is out of their game and make everyone drink their electrolytes before they speak to you!!!!

that's why you have the old heart of your even older build-a-bear stuffie in your pocket, one of the only reminders that your childhood even happened, one that you'd squeeze between your fingers in any remotely anxious instances that you find yourself in

jungkook's words hit home and it put you into a spiral if you even had one in the first place

your parents divorced when you were young and it's just that,,, no one from the two of them wanted you because you were the reminder of the other parent

you're a place marker for when a commitment started and ended and god did it make you grow up quickly

your aunt raised you!!!! she's an angel and she's the maternal figure in your life that you'd always be grateful for

you love her all the same and as much as you didn't wanna relate yourself to your parents in the same way that they don't, the feelings of being unliked hit you ever so often

lol it's quite a dashing mindset you have but you can't see any other interpretation you should employ

you leave before they could leave you.

it's not really as dramatic as it sounds

BUT IT COULD BE

there's always obligatory groupchats for projects and you're the first one to leave it instead of awkwardly waiting out for the conversation to dwindle and then leave one by one

when you and yoongi argue, you leave before he attempts to get the last word in

when jin is about to ask if you want to split the bill, you're already putting more than half of your share on the table

it's a nagging feeling of not wanting be unwanted in every situation you're in, but you aren't all that sure of wHAT you'd do to be liked

the only thing you could think of are lunchboxes, and even that gets taken away from you.

does no one really like you??

you're shifting in your position before you know it and the lone sound makes jin and yoongs come to your side immediately, looking at you in concern

you're looking up and you could just fEEL your eyes are puffy and even the light's hurting them

"i need to sleep."

"o-oh! m'kay, sure. i'll carry you to bed, let's go," seokjin wastes no time in responding, about to hook his arms underneath you when you repeat yourself again

you only chuckle but it's the driest and most painful they've ever heard, wincing when they can hear how breathless it was

"no. i mean i need to sleep."

jin blinks once

yoongi blinks twice

OH

right

they get it now

you don't want to sleep, and you really can't, but you need it

"i'll get it!!" jin volunteers to grab what you need, leaving yoongi with you

oh god you could fEEL that he's going to cry

what a big baby ://

seokjin comes bearing the joint :D

he's about to light it for you because he knows that three specific short hits would lull you to slumber then knock you out cold for like a day lmao

he minored in chemistry actually but he cAN'T explain shit on why that's your body's reaction

you're all-good for literally anything besides three short hits lmao

yoongi was about to scold jin because he lights it and tHEN he's the one who takes the first drag, but there's an assuring wave of his hand

how romantic

jin just blew you a heart

<3

they can't get anything from you besides the slight crinkling from your eyes but they don't mind at all — your eyes are atleast one degree less sad

you take your turn and even pass it to yoongi but he rEFUSES,,,,, not the least bit dejected that he decided not to because he wants to watch over you instead and not see every inanimate object with cartoon eyes on them while watching over you

"bake her a cookie if in case she suddenly gets hungry in the middle of her sleep. sneak a carrot in it or something," jin reminds yoongi and he's sERIOUS about the recipe, holding you in tow as he makes the way to your room

yoongi's about to break out the bowls, freezing in his steps when he hears the doorbell frantically ring

oh god

the ONE time that they didn't plug the door with a wet towel and now it's probably the hall manager outside about to do an inspection

that is not..... the hall monitor

that is a fucking asshole

jungkook's been pacing on his heels, his knocking loud enough to wake up the entire hallway at this point

he's SWEATING and he's not even wearing his hoodie

the door finally opens and the words start tumbling out of his mouth

"good evening. i-i wanna explain myself and-..."

that is not,,,,, you

it's his senior that he's disrespected probably too many times

yoongi leans to the door, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face that the junior's never seen before

"you ever had a sandwich before, jungkook?"

"w-what?"

the younger boy stammers, his eyes following yoongi's actions of looking behind him out of worry and then going outside to join him by closing the door softly without noise

yoongi only snorts, not even sure if he's up for conversation

"hyeji's never packed you a sandwich before?"

jungkook pales at the mention, mouth drying when he sees yoongi bring up the soft smile that doesn't comfort him at all

"the one that's all knuckle?"