#whatever genre is fine i just want stuff that is funny and bizarre and maybe has insane people

[autismjester]

pls send me recommendations of Weird books, i can’t keep trying to read stuff that i lose interest in after one chapter

[beauty-and-passion]

TMA - Chapters 1-10: The beginning and everything I didn’t expect to see

Hello, everyone.

As promised, here is the first post with my impressions regarding chapters 1-10.

Let’s not waste too much time here: there is a lot to say and I’ll leave my final impression for the end of this post. For now, let's start.

<< Main masterlist

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MAG 1: Angler Fish

Well, that’s not what I expected.

So this series doesn't have a continuative plot, but it’s rather a “monster-of-the-week” situation. However, I don’t think it will be just like that: I’m quite sure a plot will come in the future. But since it’s not coming for now, I think the option I chose (i.e. commenting this series 10 chapters at a time) is perfect. This way, I can easily keep track of my favorite statements!

I also appreciate the small introduction. So we have a place: the Magnus Institute. I suppose this is the “library” I vaguely remembered. And we also have a person: Jonathan Sims, our maybe-protagonist. And we have Martin too! And Sasha and Tim! I have no idea who they are, but I’m looking forward to knowing them.

All I got for now, is that Jonathan (who I will surely call Jon from now on, because his name is too long) is kind of a skeptic. Clichè, but I accept it: this is a horror/supernatural series, so he will probably change his mind when he will face the real shit.

And speaking of the genre, glad to know that this story is horror/supernatural. I’m not a huge fan of horror, but I like to be surprised/scared/creeped out in creative ways.

And this first statement… fails to do that. Sorry to say that, but the story is kinda meh. The supernatural element is just here and it’s not very scary. Fine, the mysterious figure is probably just the bait of a supernatural shit we don’t see, but it’s weak. And the association with the anglerfish isn’t enough to creep me, nor creative enough to surprise me.

I hope the next statement will be better.

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MAG 2: Do Not Open

Yep, that’s much more interesting.

I like that the wooden coffin doesn’t do anything you might expect from a coffin in a supernatural story. The scratching was still kind of clichè, but I didn’t expect the singing in the rain. Or the “dream possession” or whatever it was that weird power that tried to trick Mr. Gillespie into opening the coffin.

It was also kinda funny to follow his misadventures in dealing with it. And understandable too: my man doesn’t want to open the weird coffin, so he will do everything to not open the weird coffin.

Honestly, same: I am a wimp and if someone delivered some weird shit in my place, I wouldn’t be so stupid to go face-first into it. Curiosity might be strong, but my will to live is stronger.

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MAG 3 - Across The Street

That’s another interesting statement.

First, you think it will be about Graham and his journals, then there’s the weird hypnotic table with the missing piece, then Not-Graham. There are a lot of things here and they’re all creepy and interesting and I want to know more about them. Could there be a follow-up to this story? Or, at least, to its mysteries? It would be very cool to read another story and find the missing piece of that table. Or one of Graham’s journals. Or to see Not-Graham again. It would be fun. I hope there are follow-ups.

About the supernatural stuff: I couldn’t really understand what the arm-y thing-y was, so it wasn’t exactly scary, but more… bizarre? And a bit meh. It was just a black arm-y thing-y after all.

What really crept me out was Not-Graham casually saying: “Hey Amy, we live so close to each other, what a weird coincidence! Maybe I’ll pay you a visit.”. THAT was creepy as fuck and I loved it.

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MAG 4 - Page Turner

I vaguely remember the name Leitner, so I have high hopes we will see more of his books in the future. After all, this statement looks more like an introduction to him and his books, rather than a self-contained story about Random Weird Thing no. 247.

Maybe we won’t see Ex Altiora anymore, but other books… why not? Also, Jonathan knows about Leitner and asked to search more of his books, so maybe we will see more of them.

By itself, the story is good at introducing the weirdness of these books through the equally weird figure of the Keays. I feel there’s still a lot to find out about Mary Keay’s murder, her existence, her place and her connection with Sanskrit. I want to know more about her.

And I want to know more about Gerard Keay too. Will we see him again in the future? I hope so: I feel like he has still a lot to say.

I also noticed a guy named Michael. Will we see more of him too? Is he the same Michael I’ve heard about? Or is there another Michael? Can’t wait to find out.

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MAG 5 - Thrown Away

I don’t think this statement is creepy, but rather, a great example of weird.

There is nothing truly scary here, only weird. And I love this kind of weird. Every new trash bag is a surprise and the surprises are not gore-y, bloody, or clichè with the sole purpose of shocking you. The stuff inside is harmless, just… immensely weird: a long paper strip covered with the Our Father prayer, a huge bag full of teeth that are all of the same tooth… that’s not dangerous stuff, just weird. Unexpected. And, therefore, very cool.

The metal heart was a great choice too: just like all other findings is not disgusting nor gore-y, but it serves its purpose perfectly. You look at it and you know Alan is dead. I love it when creativity is used so well.

I also noticed there is another Michael here. Is he the same Michael mentioned in the previous story? Or another Michael? How many Michaels are in this series? XD

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MAG 6 - Squirm

Another meh statement: a mysterious girl is feeling very sick, then she basically explodes into worms. Kind of a backlash, going from the delicious, subtle weird of the previous story to the disgusting stuff of this one.

However, I can understand Mr. Hodge: if my room was packed with worms, I would’ve burned the whole house down too.

Also, it looks like Jon knows this woman in red. Will we see Jane Prentiss again? Or more of her victims? No, of course I don’t want your answers: the series will tell me ;)

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MAG 7 - The Piper

A simple war tale, starring a supernatural element, the Piper. I don’t find it particularly scary, but rather a melancholic figure. Sure, it’s a bit eerie and mysterious, but not particularly interesting - not for me, at least.

The story isn’t particularly captivating either. It’s just here and it screams “filler”. Or maybe not? After all, Jon remembers the name Joseph Rayner, so we will see another story featuring this guy?

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MAG 8 - Burned Out

There’s a lot of stuff here - maybe even too much. First, Mr. Lensik’s father and fractals and math and the mysterious guy with “all the bones in his hands”. Then Mr. Raymond Fielding and Agnes, the disappeared kid, the missing hand, the tree, the green apple with spiders… woah, woah, slow down! What are all these things? Should I remember all of them? Are they all important? I feel like I already forgot something while writing them down!

Honestly, this huge number of peculiar elements is very distracting, because it gets all of the reader’s attention and takes it away from the story itself. A story that, if we reduce it to basics, what’s truly about? A man meets a ghost and pulls down a tree. Not exactly the most exciting thing ever.

Now, I’m not saying that a story with multiple digressions is bad. It just needs an extremely good writer and A LOT of time and space to properly develop everything, because it would be too easy to “forget” the story and get lost into all the digressions.

So, considering these statements are all short, I would rather avoid too many elements and keep them as simple as possible, focusing more on the story itself and adding just one or two recurring elements.

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MAG 9 - A Father’s Love

Another meh story. Some elements are interesting, like the necklace with the hand and closed eye related to the Church of the Divine Host and the mysterious something that blows out every lightbulb. But yeah, from the moment it was mentioned that the father had a shed, I knew he was doing some supernatural circle/prayer/whatever.

A simple story, but nothing truly amazing about it.

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MAG 10 - Vampire Killer

Seriously, every time there is a meh statement, a great one follows up. And if it’s not great, it’s extremely interesting. Or, like in this case, it’s surprising.

I mean, a statement titled “Vampire Killer”? I expected the same old tale about seductive vampires burning out in the sunlight.

But nope, this story offered a new vision of vampires. Even better, it did it by putting these details into the story, in a great example of show don’t tell.

I really like that the vampires' characteristics are so… bestial. Shark-like teeth, a leech’s tongue and no ability to talk: it’s new, it’s cool, it’s interesting and I would love to see fanarts of them (once I’ll finish the whole series).

I also appreciate that they burn like crisps, because without blood (i.e. a liquid), they dry out: so, not only it justifies why they drink blood and not eat solid food, but also why they burn so easily. It’s cool, it’s logical, it’s creative: I love it.

Oh-oh, am I also noticing a small hint of doubt in Jon’s words? Is he starting to think these statements are not just silly stories made by insane people/mythomaniacs? Didn’t expect him to start so soon, but I suppose a lot of things will happen in the near future and he needs the right state of mind to face them.

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In conclusion

My first overall impression is positive: this series looks promising and I want to read more statements. Sure, my impression is based on 10 chapters out of 200 (so basically nothing) and on all the assumptions I made while reading. I don’t know if there will be a continuative plot, I don’t know if the characters of these stories will return and I don’t know if something huge will come in the future. I am just assuming these things, based on my experience as an “art-forms-enjoyer”.

I just hope I am right and that, while being right about these things, the series itself will keep surprising me with creative ideas. I would be very sad if my assumptions were correct, but the quality of the statements gets worse and worse. Please, keep being creative! More surprising stories and less “meh” stuff!

That’s all for now. I’ll come back very soon with the next post about chapters 11-20.

>> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[magnamln]

You Are Fine

Words: 5.7k

Genre: Angst, a bit of fluff.

Warning: Suicide attempt, character’s death.

Summary:

His warm palm caresses your side, with his soft lips giving soft kisses on your temple, hair, and cheeks.You feel some sort of tranquility by having Jungkook laying by your side, no in front of you. But even it feels peaceful, the tears just can’t seem to stop flowing. The tingling feeling in your chest knocks the air out of your lung. His chest is right in front of you and ready to be kissed, ready to be touched but it seems like it is out of your reach, you can’t even touch it; most likely, you can’t even feel him. It is just another grievous peace.

“Don’t cry baby. Please don’t cry.” He squeezes your side gently “You will be fine,” He

whispers.

“You are fine.”

“You are fine .”

Your eyes jolted open. The words still linger on your mind, still fresh, giving a chest pain that will surely stick until only God knows how long. He whispered the words like you are feeling their literal meaning. Why did he always tell you that you are fine? Because no, you are not fine, far from that even.

You almost sure that it just some kind of the realm of your illusion but again, it feels so real, so fucking real it unbearably hurts. You can feel his warm breath fanning the shell of your ear, maybe just maybe, have you lost your sanity? Anything that has continuously happened underneath your eyelids since that very one night, sure leaves you on the verge of lunacy. Waking up in this state every time the slumber can no longer take hold of you, only tortures you, tortures you, tortures you until the oxygen leaving your lung.

Body props on your side, facing the closet you once shared with him, arms and legs curling on your front. Your eyelids feel so heavy, not because you were just awaken from hours of dormancy but because you’ve been crying even in your sleep. The remnant of the tears leaving your cheeks wet and tingly, kindling the flame in your chest up your throat just to burn the latter a coal, too hard to even gulp, too  hurt. You cannot seem to find the energy to shift from where you are laying, the muscle on your body has betrayed you since that night. The pain holds you    hostage in your own room, so pathetic. Eyes wandered around the room, examining the dim lighted room with tears streaming down your sideface.  You notice the window is open, giving the moonlight the access to beat down through the open window onto the skin of your arm. Then you feel the breeze, making you shuddered.

“Baby, are you feeling cold? want me to close the window?“

He would always say that with his sleepy raspy voice, the voice you always grow in love with, but again he is not here to say, not anymore. It feels bizarre not having his arms circling around your waist, your legs entwined with his, or your face buried on his neck. When will you ever get used to this? Will you ever?

You don’t even hear yourself sobbing and sniffing until you notice the moonlight from earlier has no longer to be seen. The pain gnawing your soul is kind of pain that makes you question your own sanity, how long are you going to survive in this world you call a living hell? That’s the only question that eats you alive. Once again, mostly in the state like this, you’ll never cease to utter the words that never and will never leave your lips. Three words that will not harm anybody, but enough to make you want to drown yourself in the blue depth-

“I miss you”

_

"Baby I’m home.”

His calming voice echoed your entire apartment. Getting up from bed, you felt the urge to finally kiss the love of your life. To say that 12 hours without him felt like an eternity was an understatement. As you made your way to him, you examined him from head to toe, handsome as always, but still you could read the lethargy on his face, his figure.

“There you are.” He said while putting his work stuffs on the couch. “C'mere.” You accepted his open arms with delight, circling your arms around his waist and him mimicking your gesture.

“How was work, Mr. Jeon? You look so tired.” You examined his face, eyes, brows, nose, mouth, just everything before your eyes, while bringing your palm to caress his soft cheek.

He only smiled to that, bearing his pearly white teeth. “I was. But being with you here now, I don’t even know what tired is.”

You leaned closer on his chest, finding your peaceful time on it and listening to every beating of his heart. The thought of his heart beating for you couldn’t hold back the light giggles erupting from your lips.

So adorable, that what was popped into his mind. “What’s so funny?” He managed to say in the middle of mesmerizing the way you giggled. He looked down eyeing you curiously, knitting his brows.

“Nothing,” You smiled, still burying your head on his chest. “I just love you too much.”

Then he sighed. The telltale meaning behind the sigh forced you to look up, looking at him in the eyes. Knowing your befuddled expression, he cooed “Then that makes me love you too much more.” Your lips curved into a blinding smile.

Jungkook was Jungkook, in whatever state he was in, he was always the Jungkook you knew inside and out, being too competitive over everything even about your love, and you loved that about him. You gave him a soft peck on his lips.

“I cooked you something.” you sang song while looking up at him, making him show you an expression between touched and guilt.

“You know you don’t have to do that baby. We can order a takeout.” He gave you a look only Jungkook can. So soft that it made your knees went weak.

“But I want to.”

“But your work?”

“I cooked after I finished writing it. Don’t worry big boss.”

“Ow!” he whined in pain after you gave him a pinch on his both cheeks. “Was that necessary?” You only wiggled your eyebrows to that, looking at him caressing his redden cheeks. 

“Come one, big boy. You need to eat.” you said while sauntering to kitchen. 

Shaking his head and grinning, he says something to himself, “How can I not love her?”

_

“Y/n!” You can hear the loud bang on you apartment door. You listlessly try dragging yourself out of your bed, out of the hell. But, is there somewhere that is not hell? Looking out at the open window, you notice the sun has made its way around again, so bright like nothing ever happened.

“Y/n, open the door” That voice again. You make your way out of your bedroom to the source of the sound, passing through your lifeless living room, so unbearable to look at. Said voice keeps on calling your name, making an annoyed groan escaping your mouth. You crack the door open only to see a familiar figure standing with worried look plastered on his face.

“Hi.” You hide under the guise of smile, looking down at your feet not wanting to look him in the eyes, afraid that he might notice your messy state. But he is no fool to play your stupid game. He can sense the state you are struggling to escape even at the very first glance he gives you.

“Oh my God, Y/n. Are you okay?” Though he doesn’t need you to voice out something to found out the obvious answer, He questions you worriedly, voice as soft as satin. 

“I’m fine Jimin.” He knows that you are lying and you know that he knows.

“Come here.” He envelops you with his warm arms, caressing your hair like you are a new born baby. And finally, the tears you’ve been holding back find its way out of your eyes. Bursting into tears, you are. Jimin can only shush you and reassure you, he is disconcerted as to what he should do, because he knows not even God can change everything that happened. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. Just let it out.”

Jimin leads you to the couch, still enveloping your weak self.

“When was the last time you ate?” He asks you while positioning you on the couch, tone is full of concern and you just shrug your shoulders to that.

Giving you a pleading look, he continues, “I tried to give you a day or two to be alone because I know you need it. But it’s been three weeks Y/n and you never once answered my call nor texted me back. I was worried.”

“Thanks for worrying me. You are a great brother.“

“Thanks?” you can feel exasperation in his tone. “That’s my obligation to be worried about you Y/n. You are my sister. Please don’t do this to this to yourself, I God damn need you back,“ he momentarily pauses and softens his voice "I need my sister back.” Jimin clears his throat to say something that will come out of his mouth, try to lower his tone at the last sentence, knowing that it’ll break you like a sledgehammer, “Just let him-”

“Don’t!” You warn. you doesn’t even let him finish his sentence.

“For fuck’s sake Y/n. You need to accept that. He’s-“

“I told you don’t!” You hiss, glaring at him with all your might. “Don’t fucking tell me he’s..” You choke on your own words, knowing well what word that will slip out of your lips.

“Please Y/n don’t do this to yourself. Come back to us, please.” Jimin holds you closer, caressing the small on your back. God, when will ever you stop crying?

“You don’t understand Jimin” You weep.

“No, I don’t understand and I will never. But please gather yourself together.”

“I miss him.” You finally tell Jimin in between your sobs. You are truly being a sobbing mess, soaking the shirt he is wearing.

“I know, I miss the dude too. Please you need to eat something.” He tries to coax you but all he got is silence, and Jimin knows there’s no point in forcing you. He just keeps squeezing your arms in reassurance, wanting to make you feel better.

“I’ll stay here until you can get your shits together.” He says a bit in anger.

“No. Just go back. I just wanna be alone.”

There’s no point in arguing with you, “Just don’t try anything stupid.” and again, you just seal your trembling lips.

He loses track of how long you two have been in this position, sitting next to each other with you resting your head on his shoulder. He can feel you sleeping against his shoulder, air puffing between your slightly parted lips, so peaceful, he thinks. He has no idea what you have been going through even in the shadows of reality. If he does, such a thought won’t have the audacity to even settle in his mind. He decides to take you on your bed, letting you have your tranquil sleep a bit more, or so he thought.

_ 

His warm palm caressing your side, giving soft kisses on your temple, hair, and cheeks. You feel some sort of tranquility by having Jungkook laying by your side, no in front of you. But even it feels peaceful, the tears just can’t seem to stop flowing. The tingling feeling in your chest knocks the air out of your lung. His chest is right in front of you and ready to be kissed, ready to be touched but it seems like it is out of your reach, you can’t even touch it, better yet you can’t even feel him. It is just another grievous peace.

“Baby, you need to wake up.” He finally speaks. You want to say something in response but the pain in your throat forbids you to do so. All you can do is crying and sobbing, soaking his chest.

“Don’t cry baby. Please don’t cry.” He squeezes your side gently “You will be fine,” He whispers.

“You are fine”

_

I wish I was dead Will you be waiting for me on the other side?

That’s what you think the seconds you open your eyes. The same room, the same position, and the most painful, the same feeling all over again. too painful to even describe. You just miss him with every fiber of your being.

Jimin must be carrying you all the way to your bedroom. You notice that he is no longer in your apartment, leaving a note on the bedside table saying that he left some foods in the freezer for you to eat.

You languidly wander around your room, examining the remnant of the memory of him.

His clothes.

You smell in his heavenly smell, so much like him, so Jungkook. You remember how much he liked them being on you instead.

“Wow baby, I don’t think you need to buy new clothes anymore. You just, Wow.” he would always say those lines of words while eyeing your body in his big T-shirt.

Then you find his beanie.

“Jungkook what the-!” You gawked at the sight of your boyfriend standing in front of your wall-length mirror with your black lacy panties on his head covering his chestnut brown hair. “What the hell are you doing?” You glared at him as though you didn’t find the sight hilarious.

“Experiment.” Raising his brows while he spoke. “I’m sick of the same old style beanies. Do I look good, baby?” He questioned your reflection, nodding his chin at the you in the mirror as he adjusting the panties.

“You must be kidding.” you rolled your eyes and grinned, knowing that he was just playing around.

Your weak legs limply drag you to the bedside table. Eyeing his phone longer than you intended it to be.

“Baby, when will you stop finish writing? I’m bored.”  He laid by your side and kept elbowing your arm.

“Wait a minute Kookie.” You flashed him a genuine smile.

“You sure it’s just a minute?” You groaned at that.  He propped on his elbows, examining your concentration face. He could be childish sometimes.

“Why don’t you just play some of your stupid games on your phone?” You looked at him through your lashes.

Playing a stand of your hair, he said “Not as fun as playing with you.” His kissable lips curved into a devilish smirk.

“Jungkook.” You said in a deep voice, him knowing well that you are in no mood of playing.

“Kay fine, I’m just going play some stupid games on my stupid phone.” Then you gave him a peck on his cheek for that, which then he gave you an adorable signature bunny smile of him, undoubtedly so.

Your shaky hands try to open his locker only to find a small velvety box in it. With glistening eyes, your hands shakily reach said box and rest it on your palm, God do you miss him more than words can ever say. Your very soul demands his being.

You know you should’ve just let it closed and never open it up even until the afterlife come get your being. But your mind is just too stubborn, you miss him too much. And slowly but sure, it comes into view. The tears can no longer be hold back.

“Morning my sky.”

You felt a soft palm resting on your cheek which then be replaced by soft lips, the lips of the one you love. Really, a morning like this was the morning you wouldn’t ever forget. Your arms listlessly reached his neck wanting to tangle them with it and being as close as possible with him.

“Come sleep with me.” With your eyes still closed and voice as raspy as crow’s you managed to utter the sentence while fumbling the back of his neck.

“No, Y/n. I need to go to work and you need to work.” He said as placing a soft peck on your lips.

“But-“ You tried to protest but he stopped you by pressing his lips on yours. You smiled against his lips, tightening your hold on his neck. You liked it when Jungkook being a gentleman, taking everything as slowly as possible, treating you like a queen. Though he always insisted,

(“You are not like a queen, you are a queen, at least for me.“ He always said that line of words with a shrug on his shoulders and a toothy smile stuck on his lips.)

Jungkook never failed to make your heart melt, everything he did always added some love to the love that already grew. Even after the fights between the two of you, you always ended up loving him even more. And you knew, he loved you just as much, no, he loved you too much more.

“You remember what day it is, don’t you?” He asked you after pulling out from the kiss.

“How could I forget when I love you too much.” You looked at him in the eyes, observing the flickers of his brown orbs. 

And he smiled a very genuine smile, “Happy sixth anniversary baby.”

- 

“Where are we going this time?” You asked him while putting on a crimson knee-long dress, the color of dress he loved on you the most.

“Just follow my lead, Princess.” He sent you a cocky look while putting his palm on his heart, akin to a knight in armor making an oath, no, a knight in newly ironed suits.

“Sounds promising.”

He smirked at your response.

To your surprise, he took you to a fancy restaurant, by fancy means very very fancy. Your jaw hanging open at the sight of it, mouth agape.

“Jungkook!” you turned your head to where he was seated on the driver seat, looking through his soul in awe, closing your open mouth with the palm of your hand.

“You like the place?”

“I like the place?” Of course I like it. Thank you,” You reached for him, hugging him close, showing all your gratitude with the gesture. but then you pull out, “but the money?” 

“Are you doubting me?” He pouted, making an adorable look. Then you reached for his newly shaved chin, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“No baby. I love it and thank you. But you don’t have to do this, really. Having you by my side is all I want.”

“It’s okay. I want to.” Unbeknownst to you, he had something on his mind.

You really enjoyed your quality time with Jungkook in the restaurant. Giggling and head thrown back in mid laugh to every joke he made, shooting him a smile akin to early rays of sunlight flittering through the glass window warming up his skin. Sharing every little thing to each other, not wanting to hide any single thing, not wanting to hide in disguise until-

“Jungkook are you okay?” You furrowed your brows in concern. Even though his laugh filled the magnificent room accompanying your own, you could saw his expression you couldn’t quite decipher. But you, out of all people were the first one to understand that it bothered his mind.

“Ummmm,” and he stood up, pulling out the chair and walking closer to you, leaving you bewildered. His skin was so pale it was translucent. So many questions flooded your pitiful mind. Did he want to break up? Oh, so this fancy dinner was his way to say goodbye? Or did he have a murderous disease you didn’t know? Oh, was he cheated on you? or or or-

“Baby, are you okay?” you questioned him in mid bewilderedness, caressing the side of one of his thighs while he was standing right in front of you. Slowly, he took his time to kneel down in front of you, searching something on the side pocket of his trousers. You really didn’t expect this one was coming.

“Y/n my love.” His eyes glistening. “I maybe am not a perfect guy. I made you cry, sad, mad, and bother you all the time. I was once a guy with no love to share nor given to me. I was just an empty shell until you came into my life. with all your perfectness you accepted all the flaws of my being. I can’t imagine growing old with anyone else, nor do I want to. You are my sky and everything for me. So y/n, my sky, will you let me be the happiest man and make you the happiest woman?”

You could not respond, the feeling was just too overwhelming. You froze for seconds too long, leaving a worried look on his face. If cloud ten ever existed, then you were floating on it. You didn’t realize tears rolling down your cheeks until the very man who just uttered his deepest feeling to you wiped it for you.

Not saying anything, you just reached for him instead and gave him the embrace you had never given him before. It seemed and sounded like a common cliché proposal in a romance movie, but you didn’t expect the feeling of being treated like a queen would be so much like this, no words can describe. You cried cried and cried until only the tears dried a desert. The people surround you two who were witnessing the heart-warming proposal waited for you to give him an answer, without further ado you gave him an answer he really wanted.

“Yes baby yes I will. Please make me the happiest woman”. You whispered an angelic voice, not seeming to find your own voice. You gave him fervent nods to show all the eyes that there was no way in hell you could possibly reject a man like him, no, not man like him, it’s just him.

You already were the happiest woman.

- 

You went out of the restaurant with the most purest, prettiest (yeah, double superlatives) smile Jungkook had ever seen. With people congratulating you, he blushed all the way to his car. You observed the beautiful ring he had put on your ring finger, the silver ring with white diamond in the middle of it.  It was shining like the one who gave it to you. With the moonlight illuminating the dark galaxy, and beating down onto the diamond, it somehow made the magnificent ring on your finger even more fascinating. 

The drive to your apartment was silent, the peace type of silent. With him smiling and humming every now and then, fingers tapping on the steering wheel though no music was being played-

“I love you.” You didn’t even realize you said that, but you had no regret.

“I love too much more.”

You keep on admiring the ring on your finger. It’s too magnificent indeed. And the love you both shared and kept on the ring, made it more valuable.

“Um, baby. Can I keep it on the box for now?“ You asked him out of nowhere.

“Why? You don’t like it?” Jungkook’s tone sounded so offended.

“No no no, not like that. It’s just too beautiful. This ring is worth putting into museum. I don’t want to ruin this. I just love this. I don’t want to give scratch on this. At least just for tonight. I’ll wear it for the rest of my life. I promise you I wa-“ your sentences were stopped by his chuckle, making you befuddled.

“It’s okay baby. Just keep it in the box if you want to. I know you love it for you never took your eyes off it ever since I gave it to you.” a demonic smirk plastered on his angelic face. Had it not been for your unconditional love to him, you must have wiped the smirk off his face. You tried not to reciprocate the gesture; because damn how could a smirk look so enticing.

“Really? Thank you my love.” You gave him a soft touch on his cheeks instead. “I promise you it’s just for tonight.” with that, you kept it safe on the box which then you delicately placed it on your purse . Little did you know, fate had planned something else for you.

 “Baby, we are here.” His voice so soft in your ears.

You felt Jungkook unbuckling the seat belt for you. You slowly opened your eyes but it was just all in vain, the drowsiness was still taking hold of you. You reached for the car door knob and got off the car with the purse on your hands, eyes still closed but your soulless hand still managed to close the door. The breeze swayed your hair in all direction, if Jungkook was right next to you, he might smooth it down for you. Did you miss him already? for the love of God he was just right on the other side of the car.

You stretched your stiff hands due to the uncomfortable sleeping position in the car. But in a flash, you felt something, no, someone pushing you to the ground. So hard it made your knees bleeding. Your eyes snapped open at that, realizing that your purse had gone. You heard hurry steps not far from you, no, someone is running, and then it hit you.

“Jungkook!” You were panicked.

Racing to you, Jungkook called “Baby what’s going on?” He knelt down beside you.

“My purse, my purse. Someone took my purse!” Your eyes widened in panic. You were too shocked to even explain. And then you pointed at him, the one who was running with your purse in his hand.

“He took my purse.“ Then the realization felt like a train hitting right at your body. “Oh my God Jungkook the ring,” your looked at him, eyes widened. “My ring-” You didn’t even finish your sentence but Jungkook knew what you were going to say. In a flash, Jungkook was after him. Chasing him with all his might.

‘”Hey!! Stop!” You heard him shouting. Unlucky for you, the street was empty. There was no one here to help.

“Hey!!” You heard Jungkook shout again. You were still panicked. You couldn’t even bring yourself to stand up properly. When you looked at the direction where they were running, they were nowhere to be seen. So you ran, ran, and ran until you heard that, the sound you would never forget and ghost you until your last breath. A shotgun echoed the entire complex, making you freeze on where you were standing.

You tried hard to get yourself together, abruptly headed to the source of the sound, to the alleyway where the sound was from. Hands over heart hoping everything would be just fine, hoping like you were in a romance movie seeing your man standing with a smile and the purse on his hand, knocking down the bad guy. Or at least, seeing him panting with no smile or purse in hands would be just perfectly fine. Just seeing him alive, would be just fine. But again, this was not some kind of romance movie, and you needed to accept the bitterest truth.

You choked on your sobs, watching his body laid on the ground with blood as red as the color of your dress covering his stomach, ruining his suits. You knelt down beside him, Wanting to scream, wanting to yell but it’s just too suffocating, only the tears that spoke. The very villain that did this to him was nowhere to be seen.

“I made it.” He lifted his hand, showing you that he made it to take the purse back with a smile.

“I made- “ He choked on his own blood flowing from his mouth. The sight was just too scary, you wished it was just a dream, a kind of dream you were relieved it was just a dream when you woke up.

“Y/n.” He managed to say. He caressed you cheek with the hand covered with blood, painting red on said cheek. “I’m sorry.” The tears streamed down your cheeks, dropping on his now red suits. “I’m so s-sorry.”’ you really wanted to scream. You saw it in his eyes, a life was being lifted. Orbs trying to find their last piece of peace.

He took in shallow breathes but it between them, he said the words for the first time you didn’t want to hear from him, a goodbye-

“I love you.”

Those three harmless words dropped a spadeful of earth upon your chest. And finally, he closed his eyes.

You screamed. You screamed so loud and hard your throat was burning. You were sure you woke up every living night creature or sleeping humans at this point, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about any of them. You didn’t care about the world anymore because the world had betrayed you. Why did the world treat you like shit when you had been being told again again that you were a queen? Why just why? But one thing for sure that you didn’t need to question anybody about it,

You lost Jungkook you lost yourself.

_

Really, the memories of him are just too painful. You wish you were dead so that the pain will be buried in the core of the earth. You cannot find any reason to live longer, Jungkook was the only reason you lived your life, but now that he was no longer by your side, what’s the point of living?

Closing your eyes, you close the box and put it back in the drawer before closing said drawer. You lay your back on the bed, looking up on the ceiling while thinking about everything, just everything. You try to search on your mind any other reasons to live, but you find none, you only find Jungkook at the depth of your mind.

‘Will you be waiting for me on the other side?’

 The walk to the rooftop feels longer and heavier than it is supposed to be, nonetheless, you find yourself standing at the edge of the rooftop of your apartment building.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath before making the last decision of your life. Determined to die, you are. Then, you open your eyes which you think will be the last time you do. But then, a different kind of a drop of tears finds its way out of your glistening eyes. You are greeted by the orange-peach tint that shines through the afternoon sunlight. Looking at the edge of the sky, you can feel a tranquil feeling, you can see his smile, you can feel his love to the sky, to you, for you.

_

“What I like about sky is that it never gives up on life.” You knitted your brows to him in question. Then he looked up at the dark-blue hue of the sky above you while sitting on a bench somewhere on your favorite park.

“I mean look at it,” He caught your questioning look. “There are daylight and night. Even when we were asleep, sky never disappears. And when it’s cloudy or raining, it’s still there. Though sometimes we can’t see it, It’s nonetheless still there.” He explained, eyes still glued on the sky. You snorted at that.

Hearing your snort, he turned you head to you. “What? Is that funny?” You just shrugged.

“So you found that funny.” He looked down, nodded to himself. But then, he turned his body to you and looked right into your eyes.

“What about this? Just consider me your sky and I’ll consider you my life. Sky will never give up on life and I will never give up on you.” He looked at you with worried drawn on his face as though asking for your consent.

“I thought I was your life?” You teased.

He rolled his eyes, “Ugh, I’m being serious Y/n. Okay what about you being my life as well as my sky?”

You looked at him in the eyes, wanting to show him the inside of your heart “Yes Jungkook, you are my sky and I’m your sky.”

_

“You are fine”

You can hear him whispering the words from the depth of your mind. Instead of denying it, you begin to question it.

Are you?

Your legs shaking and you take a step back, still looking at the sky Jungkook adored to the moon and back the way he had loved you. Something at the back of your mind tells you over and over that even Jungkook wouldn’t ever be happy if you ever make such decision. Your knees trembling, making you fall. It just drops, not asking for your permission the tears just drop, so much of it.

For the first time after he left you, you cry a very good cry. A cry that doesn’t show you that you are pathetic, a cry that doesn’t tell you that you have no reasons to live, a cry that doesn’t show you that you are a painful mess. Instead, it’s a cry of acceptance.

“You are fine”

His whisper never leaves your mind. He wanted you to be fine, Jungkook wanted you to be fine and for the first time you settle your heart to try to be fine. Because when you are fine, it doesn’t mean you need to feel the joy, you don’t need the bliss to cover every second of your life. You don’t need to laugh every now and then, here and there to show you that you are fine. It’s okay to be in pain, because nothing can ever heal a pain. A pain can never be healed, it just can be forgotten. All you need is a very simple genuine smile, a smile that indicates your acceptance of the all bad things ever happened in life.

An acceptance of his death.

The memories of him are indeed painful but at least, you are grateful none of them leaving a bitter taste in the tip of your tongue. They are all painfully beautiful and they will stay that way until the end of your life. And you will always love him forever because loving him forever can never be wrong.

 You find your lips curving such kind of smile in the middle of your cry because finally you realize, you realize one thing the Jungkook in your dream wanted you to realize that-

You are fine.

[jakeh2987]

Fall Out Boy's Young And Menace Is Not a Terrible Song (You're Just a Terrible Fan)

A few weeks ago, Chicago rockers Fall Out Boy released the first song from their upcoming album MANIA, titled "Young And Menace," so naturally, buzz was abound in the music community. Fall Out Boy have managed to stay on top after all these years despite a hiatus and numerous shifts in sound, so of course new material would create some pretty big buzz. As for the song itself, we'll get there, but before we do, I will say that the reaction to the song has been interesting. The song itself is pretty weird for Fall Out Boy, so it seems like a lot of people were initially put off by it, but have since warmed up to it after letting it settle in more. Sure, you'll always have your detractors who still want them to sound the same way they did back in 2005, but besides that, we didn't find anything too extreme, right? Well, that's not quite the case, sadly, because shortly after the song dropped, we watched two videos of people "reviewing" the song. Reviewing would be a pretty big stretch, though, because these videos were utterly awful in every single way. The first video was initially called "Fall Out Boy's Young And Menace Is a Terrible Song," and it was seriously one of the most angry and entitled things I've ever seen. The next video was normally titled, thankfully, but the content wasn't much better. This girl acted like the band was a significant other who cheated on her after a really long relationship. Yeah, it's that bad, but what could have caused such bizarre reactions? Well, let's get into the song itself, and if you've noticed by my use of "we," I'm not alone. Take it away!

Thanks for bringing me on, Jake, but I was thinking about writing something like this, too, because of those “reviews.” Fall Out Boy is my favorite band, and has been for the last ten years (it’s always been a toss-up between them and The Beatles, frankly), but I couldn’t imagine having the same reactions these people had. I might be in the minority of those who enjoy their post-hiatus work. 2013’s Save Rock And Roll was great, and 2015’s American Beauty / American Psycho was even better, but I could understand people not liking those albums. They are on the “poppier” side of things, and it’s one thing not to be into that stuff, but like Jake said, I’ve seen so many accusations of them being “sellouts,” pandering, trendy, and how they merely need to go back to “the older stuff.” People, it’s not 2005 anymore, they’re not the same people they were back then. They won’t be making emo / pop-punk anymore. That’s just how life goes, and that’s one thing I’ve always admired about Fall Out Boy. They never make the same album twice. Hell, even their first two albums are relatively different. 2003’s Take This To Your Grave has a very rough around the edges sound, but 2005’s From Under The Cork Tree has more of a pop sensibility to it. I wasn’t sure where Fall Out Boy would go with Mania, but one thing was for sure – it would be interesting. Because the band has never made the same album twice, and they’re the kind of band to do whatever the hell they want, I don’t understand where the “sellout” crap comes from. I never have, honestly, because they’ve never played to anyone’s rules but their own. They’re one of the biggest bands in the world right now, so why would they need to pander or trend-hop? Well, the answer is that they wouldn’t. They don’t have anything to lose at this point. When you’re as big as Fall Out Boy, you don’t have anything to prove anymore, so it makes even more sense for them to do whatever they want.

If you want to look at a band that’s a shell of their former shelves, look at Linkin Park. I find it odd that the first video was super angry about Fall Out Boy’s new song, but one of his favorite bands was Linkin Park; he didn’t like the first single off their upcoming album, but you’d think he’d be angrier, right? Why does Fall Out Boy get all the blame? I don’t understand fans’ entitlement. The first video was whining about how Fall Out Boy should stick to “rock music,” and that when you listen to bands, you should “expect rock music,” whatever that means. He was more angry and upset that they weren’t making music with “guitars and stuff” anymore, but the weird part is, this song has guitars, they’re just not used in a conventional way. This isn’t a conventional song. The second video was still weird, but it came from a more “disappointed” angle. The band is her favorite, too, but she sounded so betrayed, upset, and sad that the band went into a direction that she didn’t like. Like Jake said, it was like she felt scorned by a former lover, and was lashing out at them for being with someone new. It’s one thing not to like the song, and yeah, I could understand fans not liking it. It’s weird, it’s different, and it’s a bit more “out there,” but to proclaim them as “sellouts,” pandering, and trend-hopping, as well as saying they should break up (they did that, for the record), is utterly ridiculous. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean that everyone else shouldn’t, either, and that the people that happen to like it are dumb, stupid, or wrong for enjoying it. I pity people like that, Jake, because they’re so consumed by anger, hatred, and pettiness, they can’t focus on the things that they enjoy. With that said, though, I sort of want to understand why these people have the mentality they do, so let me ask you this, Jake: how do you feel about “Young And Menace,” and why on Earth would fans be so enraged, angered, and upset by this to cause such a massive reaction?

It's funny, man, because like I said up top, plenty of people don't like the song, and you'll have the section of the fanbase who wish they would go back to their "classic" sound, and you know what, that's okay under normal circumstances. Bradley and I aren't saying that you have to like a band's every move, but what we are saying is to calm down and at least have some respect for people who do like it. There's no need to act like the band murdered your family and cheated on you. Honestly, though, after spending time with the song, sure, it's a little weird for Fall Out Boy, and Pete Wentz himself expected this, but it's the "sellout" bit of these people's argument that baffles me. This song is not something you would hear on the radio, and hell, I'm not entirely convinced this is actually the first single. But okay, is the song actually good? I think it is. Not one of their best, sure, but it's a pretty damn good announcement of sorts that tells me they're gonna keep doing what they want with the pop-rock genre. Vocalist Patrick Stump sounds great as always, drummer Andy Hurley has some nice fills throughout, and guitarist Joe Trohman continues to get more creative with his playing. People keep saying this sounds like a bad Chainsmokers knockoff had sex with rejected dubstep from 2011, and I'm sorry, but I can't hear that at all. The band is still very much a band who are all playing their instruments, Patrick Stump is still a killer vocalist, and Pete Wentz' lyrics haven't missed a beat. So, if you really think about it, everything that makes Fall Out Boy who they are is still there, but what gives? Why is this song, of all things, some fans' breaking point?

I mentioned above, too, that it’s okay if people don’t like the song, let alone their last couple of albums that went into a more blatant “pop” sound. There’s a fine line, however, between not liking something new that a band puts out (usually because of a sound change or line-up change that dramatically affects them) and not liking something new that a band puts out, solely because it doesn’t sound like your favorite albums. Some people have their nostalgia goggles on a little too tightly. As Jake said, though, you don’t have to like a band’s every move, just show some respect to people that might enjoy it. I could understand people not enjoying it. Hell, this song in particular isn’t very mainstream-friendly, immediately dismissing any “sellout” notions. Similarly to Jake, I don’t hear any Chainsmokers influence in the song, but you can make any unfounded comparisons by saying two things sound alike. Sure, this song has electronic elements, but that doesn’t mean they sound like the Chainsmokers. It’s very obvious that there are “real” instruments being played on the song, especially on the hook, but if I had to guess, the reason that this song is a lot of fans’ “breaking points” is because it’s not what they expected the band would do. Fans of the first few albums might not like the last couple of records that were released post-hiatus, but they could at least expect the band to go in that direction, thanks to how they were sounding pre-hiatus. “Young And Menace” is a drastic change from anything that they’ve done before, but that’s what I like about it, truth be told. It’s not one of their best songs at all, but it’s different. For all we know, this song won’t even represent the entire album, especially when the album doesn’t come out until the fall, but I think this is where fans are drawing the line, because it’s not like the “older stuff,” and they’re almost abandoning their pop-rock sound here, too.

Maybe fans feel as though this is a complete betrayal to them, as this isn’t the band that they first fell in love with. The weird thing about that, however, is that most bands never end where they start. Unless they make the same album over and over, and they never mature as people or musicians, no band or artist has the same mindset or sound that they did when they started, especially if it happens to be more than a decade. In Fall Out Boy’s case, they’ve been around for almost 15 years at this point in their career (making them about as old, let alone even older, than a lot of their younger fans that got into them before their reunion or afterwards). Maybe these fans just feel slighted as they’re going deeper down the rabbit hole of experimentation. A lot of these angry fans want the band to stay the same forever, but I think it’s also got something to do with how they’re abandoning the “guitars and stuff” sound of their earlier work. Even in their last couple of albums, they had a pronounced presence of organic instrumentation, but this song doesn’t have as much. It’s there, it’s just not as well pronounced, causing fans to feel even more betrayed. These types of fans only listen to music with “guitars,” or whatever they deem to be “real music.” A lot of these annoying Fall Out Boy fans tend to have that mentality. They don’t like pop music, or anything that’s out of the norm for the bands they like, but these are all just theories. Who knows why people are so angry about this song? It doesn’t matter, though, because this shows one thing – Fall Out Boy have nothing to prove, as well as nothing to lose, and no matter how people feel about this song, they’re talking about that. That’s what Fall Out Boy wants.

I think that's the point we're ultimately trying to make here; Fall Out Boy has nothing to lose at this point, so why would they waste their time listening to shitty fans? Fans like that love to throw the sellout label around, but you know what would really be selling out? After all the bitching and whining from fans, despite the success of their post-hiatus material, the band just randomly decided to appease the fanbase and make a half-assed From Under The Cork Tree clone. So-called "fans" would be happy, but it wouldn't be a very good album, and no one else would be happy, especially not the band. So yeah, take your shitty entitlement and shove it up your ass, because Fall Out Boy aren't going anywhere. If you're still feeling cheated, just go listen to your "tr00 rawk" bands who refuse to evolve out of the early-2000's for fear of losing fans like you, or because apparently music is only real when it has guitars. Whichever bullshit explanation you wanna throw out first, they have never applied to Fall Out Boy, because simply put, they're smarter than that. And sometimes, I wish their fans could be as smart as they are.

[its-just-like-the-movies]

Malin Åkerman in The Final Girls

Time for a performance review! A big shout out here to Decider’s Joe Reid (operating on the handle @joereid on twitter and tumblr, go check him out) whose enthusiasm for the film on those sites and his contributions to The Film Experience podcast (thefilmexperience.net, even more fabulous) encouraged me to see this gem. Now on with the show!

I’ve spent a good while trying to write a review of The Final Girls itself, but struggled in trying to get a real paper out of it after having seen it for the first time about two months ago. Plenty of parts stuck in the memory fine, but I felt qualms that the screenplay was a strong in parts and weak in others as I remembered, and wanted to be sure that the performances were as sturdy as I was espousing they were. A few weeks out from my Women-in-Film class, which capped itself off with analyzing several horror films and which I was taking the first time I watched the film, the road bumps I’d noticed before felt less egregious, and the highs slightly less high, though that may have been out of familiarity. None of the ways it trips up are worth everything it gets so wonderfully right, and even all the things it adds to itself. Adopted a fairly warm style to the milieu it’s parodying, The Final Girls is constantly finding new angles and scenarios for its characters and narrative without collapsing into itself the way Cabin in the Woods and Adaptation do in their final half hours. Its premise, of a handful of high school classmates accidentally hopping into a horror movie and trying to return home, possibly with the characters from the film in tow, The Final Girls’s flaws are a little more scattered, and I wished it was willing to bust up the genre more than it did, but it remains a real pleasure throughout as much through the script as it does through a surprising amount of visual style and the commitment of the performers. Editing, sound, and cinematography do a lot of work, like in the American Horror Story: Murder House style way of the characters realizing they’re trapped in the film the same way one of the show’s protagonists realizes she’s died, the entire sequence of setting off the booby trap the characters have laid for Billy Murphy, the final battle between him and protagonist Max. It’s stylistic virtues aren’t just more than you’re expecting but also find multiple new ways to present itself across all fronts.

The cast, too, is uniformly strong and almost completely in sync with the film’s tone and variant style of performance, with characters of the now behaving differently than characters of the then. It’s a culture-clash comedy across decades of acting and genre style, save Adam DeVine being allowed free reign to discordantly improv in that exact way he always does. But aside from him, all the other characters are given room to develop and hilarious lines, often in unexpected ways. The trajectory of Nina Dobrev’s antagonistic ex-best friend of Max’s gives her room to stand on in her nastiness, more often driven by uncouth survival instincts than it is classroom bitchiness, but also allows her a surprisingly poignant conversation to explain herself with Max and her friend Gertie, and plenty of funny lines for Dobrev to chew on. Early on Dobrev’s Vicki politely nixes the theory they’re in Heaven because Max is Jewish, and repeatedly asks where on Earth she can get an axe once they arrive in camp. Alia Shawkat’s Gertie gets great lines and gives even better reaction shots and freak-outs, and Angela Timbur’s nympho counselor Tina gets funnier the more caricature-ish and regressive her character becomes, in contrast to all the character development going on around her. Taissa Farmiga continues to display real talent at jiving between the insane and the sincere tones of the bizarre horror projects she signs on for, a slightly wackier, genre-friendlier version of that grounding Kristen Stewart’s charisma can do, and she’s a welcome anchor for the whole project. The film’s spread out enough that it’s not all on her shoulders, but she carries a larger range of emotional and narrative tasks than almost anyone else in the cast and delivers on all fronts.

That “almost”, though, is because the most challenging part by far is the dual role of downtrodden mother/actress Amanda Cartwright, and that of her most famous character, the sweet Camp Bloodbath counselor/bodycount filler Nancy, who Max three years after her mother has died in a car crash. Both roles, but especially Nancy, is played by Malin Åkerman, with incredible delicacy and an almost confronting amount of emotional transparency. In her only sequence as Amanda, we see learn everything she’s trying to get and trying to avoid. We know from her posture, the way she walks to the car, that Amanda thinks she probably isn’t going to get whatever part she was auditioning for. Or maybe she’s just feeling pigeonholed, again, by how she’s seemingly trapped in limbo because of her Camp Bloodbath role, and is sick of dealing with another director who only sees her as that. Maybe both, but it’s the limbo stuff she tells Max about as the two drive home. Farmiga and Åkerman give a full triage on the mother-daughter dynamics between them as Max worries about money for bills until Amanda throws them out the window, cranks the radio, and the two dance to “Bette Davis Eyes” in the car as Amanda marvels at her daughter, calling Max the only thing she ever got right. But it’s a panicked reaction to Max spilling coffee over her headshots that’s the last thing Amanda ever says before they’re clipped by another car, sending them careening down the road and killing Amanda. Max lives, still grieving her mother three years later, and adamantly refusing to attend a 20th anniversary screening of the two Camp Bloodbath films three years to the day later on the grounds of that grief, at least until the guy running it offers to do her homework for her in exchange for her showing up.

From there our crop of human characters gather together and are transported into Camp Bloodbath itself to escape the theater burning down, rendered in slo-mo as the ashes of a toke ignites a spilled bottle of alcohol. They meet the car carrying almost all of the camp’s counselor’s twice before agreeing to hop on the third time, and from there we meet Nancy herself, gloriously back-lit with sunlight as she wakes up from a nap in the back of the buggy. And it’s here, as she asks a visibly startled Max if this is the first time she’s been away from home, conveying the earnestness of the character without pushing it in the slightest, that a very basic but incredibly effective tenant of Åkerman’s performance reveals itself: a rejection of subtext. Max spends their scenes together fluctuating between treating Nancy as her mother and Nancy as Nancy, but Åkerman never leans into “playing Amanda” and stoking Max’s confused feels. Her actions are completely derived from the character, though we do see small glimmers of what Amanda herself may have put into the role. As one of the characters of the film-within-the-film, Åkerman also has to keep her style of performance within that of the 80’s horror films The Final Girls so affectionately skewers, and again Åkerman plays it completely straight. She fits snuggly into the “Nice Girl” trope without ever pushing it, and even as she starts grasping and accepting not just that she’s a film character but that she can be more than that, Åkerman always plays her as a film character.

In group scenes Nancy is neither more or less compelling or active a presence than any of the other characters, and Åkerman doesn’t try and foreground her when the moment isn’t earned. As interesting as her reactions often are, neither she nor the camera try and highlight her in moments that are about everyone. From the moment the humans decide to try and save the character’s lives Max insists on shadowing Nancy, leading them to have multiple scenes alone together: Max asking Nancy not to sleep with Kurt; Max stopping her from sleeping with him; Max comforting Nancy after being told she’s not fit to kill Billy; preparing weaponry to kill him together; recuperating in an abandoned church; all of these scenes have a surprising amount of pathos and, in the latter three cases especially, travel to genuinely unexpected emotional territory. Farmiga and Åkerman’s scenes together quickly become the heart and soul of The Final Girls, but it’s even clearer than it’s Åkerman who’s walking on a much higher tightrope, not just fulfilling the demands of the script but enriching them with an almost alarming level of directness in her playing. There’s an almost contradictory presentation of depth here, as Nancy doles out old and new dreams for herself, giving us a greater understanding of her without removing the character completely from her archetype. I wonder how much to even say about the specifics of these scenes, given everything I’ve said about how unexpectedly lovely and poignant they are. If this ends up persuading anyone at all to watch this movie, I wouldn’t want to give up exactly what those moments ultimately are. But dammit, they’re worth some description, some mention, some unqualified exuberance, so here’s a kind-of run down of the latter three scenes I referenced at the top of the paragraph. That said, feel free to skip it entirely.

<<<All of these are similar kinds of scenes - as I mentioned, the film is more than willing to repeatedly stop and explore the bond between Max and Nancy as their relationship with each other, Nancy’s relationship to her own personhood, and their relationship to escaping the film all fluctuate - but each goes off on a track that’s rendered with more heart than you expect going in. This is not to lessen her early scenes with Max, before Nancy knows she’s in a movie, but they aren’t as rich to look at compared to what happens once the tea is spilled. The first, as Nancy grapples with the idea that she’s doomed to die by design, sees her confess to Max a future for herself that sounds remarkably similar to the one Amanda ended up getting before she died, invoking that common interview question of how much of themselves an actor puts into any given part. Her second big scene comes while prepping tampon arrows to torch and shoot at Billy with Max, and it’s here that she starts to really wonder what her life could be like once they defeat him and escape Camp Bloodbath. Nancy’s joy at being told by Max that she can go to college and create a real life palpably fills the room as she starts babbling all the things she wants to do with herself, tripping up at being told people don’t shop at malls anymore but going right back on pace saying she wants to learn what online is and use it, get an education, a daughter, and live in California. You can feel Nancy coming alive in this moment, see her hurriedly think of anything and everything she could possibly want to do with herself, overjoyed to share these ideas with Max, just as excited, if not more so, at the possibility of living with Max once this all ends. I quibble with the structuring of her final scene, a last goodbye in the face of imminent death, but the actresses more than make up for it as Max finally, tearfully reveals that Nancy is played by the woman who is her dead mother, accepting this with the stride she has everything else up til now while doing her best to comfort Max. It’s a painful goodbye, calling back to Max’s final scene with Amanda, and I ugly cried through the whole last minute of it.>>>

Throughout, Malin Åkerman realizes her scenes with a nakedly direct level of emotional candor, grace, and genuine goodness, all without seeming to strain in the slightest. It’s a resistance to pandering that only makes the performance more powerful, and a pretty damn indelible rendering of an odd character, strewn with easy pitfalls a lazier actress might’ve hopped into. Åkerman doesn’t just fulfill the requirements of the script but brings adds to them with a dizzying level of sincerity and depth. Who knows, only 38 films into the 2015 film year - yikes, that feels even smaller typing it out - how well she will stack up next to performances from Julianne Moore, Jada Pinkett Smith, Lise Roy, and who knows how many others But from my viewpoint, not just of that year’s crop but totally outside it, hers is an unbelievably tricky part realized better than I could’ve ever hoped for. It’s weirder than almost anything that’s ever been up for an Academy Award, or anything that’s ever been within throwing distance of a nomination, but to my mind it’s certainly deserving of recognition beyond the few horror-themed awards shows and websites that covered it and scattered laurels from online critics and people like me who Have Blogs And Only Have Blogs. The Final Girls feels like the rare meta-anything that manages to stay wholly original its whole runtime, resisting the urge to ironically (or not) wind up succumbing into becoming the kind of project it’d been skewering up til that point. At just over ninety minutes, it’s a treat no matter how you slice it, but the crown jewel of this project is doubtless the miraculous turn that Malin Åkerman pulls off. It’s for sure the kind of “heart and soul of the movie” part that doubtlessly would have impact by design alone, but Åkerman does one better and makes Nancy remarkable by making her wants and her feelings as real as anyone else’s, keeping her in her own time and style of being, and making her completely extraordinary as a result.