#whatever - this post sucks and i'm going to go have a bath.

[sebille]

I'm normal anyway. He doesn't realize it himself until after his duel with the WOL but coming to the warrior of lights rescue and helping them fight the Endsinger is actually the most alive Zenos feels in his whole entire life. It's the reason why he looks sad rather than happy after their fight and why he reaches out for them and ultimately wishes for them to live. The thing that made him feel alive (Even back in Stormblood.) was the feeling of having someone he could related to, and someone he could consider a companion, someone he could trust with his feelings and thoughts. And he doesn't realize this until it's too late.

[madonnamadeofasphalt]

EA & Bioware honestly did an incredible job at killing any enthusiasm I had for a new Dragon Age. Fucking hell, man, I've played the first two games so much I could probably go through them with closed eyes and still pick all the right dialogue options to get My Exact Personally Canonized Plot. And the only reason I didn't do the same thing with DA:I is because it was made after EA completely gave up on optimizing their shit so the fucking thing takes up like a billion terabytes of disc space and takes 10 hours to download and install. I honestly think it's the best-written cRPG franchise to ever have a budget that doesn't involve a list of Kickstarter backers or getting an eccentric Estonian billionaire fixated on the project. And the gameplay is also there, I don't really care about that part.

Then they proceeded to fire all the talent that made me love those first three games, and scratch and restart the production twice, and be suspiciously cagey with any details or gameplay footage for a fucking decade, so my hype consistently went down and down. And yet I still managed to hold out some hope that somehow, by some miracle, it wouldn't fucking suck.

I kept that hope until the trailer dropped. You know the one. The one where we see a bearded Varric. This, I think, was the exact moment when I lost any desire to play fucking Veilguard.

Like, first of all, Varric being there at all is already an issue. Leave the man alone. His presence was already kinda forced in DA:I. And after DA:I and Tresspasser, his story couldn't be more finished if he got killed, eaten, shitted out, condemned to hell, redeemed by divine sacrifice, bathed for eternity in the everlasting light. There is no point to Varric anymore. Whatever arc they've given him in Veilguard, and I don't even give a shit enough to read the spoilers before writing this post, it has no business existing. Fuck you. The only reason he's there is because he's a recognizable IP, and when you're a certain kind of soulless corporate moron, you think there's nothing more important than putting a recognizable IP in whatever new bullshit you're trying to peddle. Maybe if you didn't fire every decent writer in your trash fucking company, you'd have someone to tell you about the importance of Ending The Fucking Story When The Story Fucking Ends.

But that's not even the core of the problem. Beard? they gave Varric a Beard? Varric I fucking hate everything that's even tangentially connected to dwarven culture with a passion which is why I've made a point to shave my beard all my life to spite anyone who gives a fuck about it Tethras? beard? you gave him a beard? He changed so much offscreen in the goddamn timeskip between these two games that he got a motherfucking berd? fucshhfdbeard? feadsgfsvarricafgfdh BEARD? yyousftoiuslyhhabevarricasgsfucningbeardandthivkimgosabedineditit?beard????

PS. (edit after finding out spoilers) I've gone to TV Tropes to read up on Varric's role in DATV after writing this (just in case I'm wrong and dumb, and there's actually a deeply compelling narrative reason for his presence), and, well, this shit is cheaper than I thought. And more importantly, just as I thought, there appears to be no justification for the beard beyond "adding a beard is a cliche way to show that a bunch of time has passed, and we didn't care enough to think this shit through". I'm fucking tired, man.

PPS. (edit after reading the rest of big spoilers) This is so much worse than I could even begin to suspect. This is worse than the final season of Game of Thrones. This is the final season of Game of Thrones if they straight-up fired GRRM, burned his notes and hired a showrunner who's only read a one-page summary of the first six seasons. This is fucking depressing, man. I'm genuinely fucking sad. So many subplots that were started over the course of these three games, that were clearly going somewhere, scrapped in favour of a simplistic good vs. evil story that would get rejected by fucking CD-Projekt in 2007 for being too basic. All because the artists who poured their hearts and souls into this bullshit franchise got thrown out like trash by its "owners". Morrigan's kid, the Well of Sorrows, all the implied complexities of Tevinter politics, the Crows, the Old Gods, Andraste. All went to shit. Death to capitalism.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Just some HC's about what aftercare might be like with some of the boys (don't @ me, they're FICTIONAL, first of all. And go read my pinned post -> everyone is at least 18, but I imagine them 25 or older. Just a friendly reminder! Thanks!)

I have some more ideas lined up for a 2nd part//or whatever but I'm not gonna do them if this doesn't fall into the laps of people who really enjoy it. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

C/W ::: Hanma/Chifuyu/Baji/Kisaki/Kazutora/Draken x F.reader, talk of sex, and things that go along with it. Hair pulling, dirty talk (not in detail really) ... if anything wasn't listed and you just know it should be (like the world will end if I don't include it), let me know!

WC ::: 1,289 (I can't stop. And no, I'm not sorry.)

PART 2

Ⓗanma ::: He would kiss all the red, splotchy spots he made on your body. Rubbing your bum to soothe the burn of where his hand came down so hard, so many times. You'd be laying there totally enjoying the sweetness that he's giving you until you feel his cock press into your hip. You look at him with that quirked brow, narrowed eyes, and smirk on your lips, just daring him to push you for "one more". Hanma has his hands out in front of him, almost like he's defending himself against the look on your face. "I - promise. I promise to be more gentle this time." He leans down to kiss your tits and take a bright and swollen nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and trying to convince you that he will, in fact, go easier on you this time. "YOLO, hana. C'mon." He runs his fingers over your still soaked cunt. "You're a real bastard, y'know that, Shu? Fine. But this time, I'm beating your ass."

((*Hana -> Blossom in Japanese))

Ⓒhifuyu ::: He's going to have whatever you could need or want already at his place. Obviously, you have what you need at your place. But sometimes you're not home. So it's nice to have him prepared. He'd have stuff for you to take a nice bath after he wrecked you. There would be a pretty, mirrored tray in his bathroom with a variety of essential oils and little vials of bath salts for his baby to use at her leisure. Chifuyu would low-key do some research on which oils did what. Peppermint was uplifting and good for headaches. Lavender was good to calm your mind and ease muscle aches. He would be the kind of guy to pull your hair while he's fucking you from behind telling you "Turn ... turn your head so I can see how fuckin' beautiful you look while you're takin' this cock. Fuckin' love you so ... fuckin' ... much, angel. Make me feel so good. 'M I makin' you feel good, too? Yeah? Fuck yeah, want you to cum all over me with that gorgeous pussy of yours."

Ⓑaji ::: He is the wildcard and the surprising one when it comes to aftercare. Sometimes 97.9% of the time, his aftercare evolves into more sex. Whether it's oral (he likes to lick up the cummy mess from your puffy little pussy - and moan a little about it - which fuckin' only turns you on more so it's partially your fault that you guys fuck again when he was planning on taking care of you ... just in a different way). He loves you, though. He loves the pink glow of your cheeks (face and ass - and it doesn't matter if you're fair-skinned or a darker tone - dude WILL make sure he changes the natural hue of your flesh). Baji enjoys seeing his large handprint on your ass and thighs. Also will kiss at all the bite marks he's left on your body - your whole body. There is no discrimination when he sinks his teeth into you. Man will just kind of let his heart guide him and he'll bite wherever his mouth lands. He does a bunch of little things for you: He'll bring you your favorite drink (which he learned right away), he will order takeout if you're hungry (he knows what to get), he lays with you and holds you close to him if it was a particularly rough and raunchy romp. Secretly enjoys the closeness almost more than you do.

Ⓚisaki ::: Is a dumbass ... at first. The first time you guys fucked he hopped up and took a shower. Liiiiike, no, dude. Wrong. Answer. Asshat. He's pissed that Hanma told him that he was an absolute idiot for doing that. Like, how did that shit ass know more than him!? However, once Kisaki is made aware of what is expected (but NOT expected, however, much appreciated), he is almost a changed man. After a slow and close afternoon rendezvous at his place, you're both laying there, basking in the afterglow. He stays in bed with you for a while and kisses your cheek, rubs your hip with the palm of his freakishly warm hand, giving you a squeeze occasionally. "You uh, *aheh*, can I get you anything, ningyō? Water, tea? Are you hungry? Anything you want." He smiles at you nervously, trying to recall what Hanma instructed him to say. "No, Kisa', I think right now I just want you to be here with me. Is that ok? Will you stay?" He nods his head, "Of course. But I still want to shower." You roll your eyes but appreciate the time he's sharing with you anyway.

((*Ningyō -> Doll in Japanese))

Ⓚazutora ::: Seems to think that aftercare = afterplay 🔁 foreplay. It's not such farfetched logic. But you love how fucking sweet on you he is. He kisses all over your body; your neck is his favorite place to kiss you when you're in the kitchen working together toward the level of aftercare you both deserve. He'll stand behind you and run his hands all over the expanse of your hips, back, waist, chest. Then he'll start salivating a little heavier at the thought of sucking on your nipples. How hard and squishy (HOW THOUGH) they are between his lips. Kazutora will dip down under your arm and stand between you and the counter as you're cutting up something and start kissing you - quite heavily. And you don't mind, but you're still kind of wiped out from the hour and a half you two just spent in bed. But his big, curious eyes just have this effect on you and you stretch out your neck when he starts to nuzzle his nose in there and whisper how much he wants to go down on you again make sure that pretty little pussy isn't still sore. He wants to give you a "massage" to ease any discomfort. "You won't have to lift a finger - un-unless you want to, momo. Please?" He will just pick you up and carry your ass back to the room and take his sweet, sweet time with you. AGAIN.

((*Momo -> Peach in Japanese))

Ⓓraken ::: D-R-A-K-E-N *sighs dreamily*. This big fool. The things you do to/for each other are out of this world. Your bodies were made for one another. Period. Not only does he have you down to a science while he's fucking you, his aftercare is top notch. Draken is the kind of guy who will pull your hair so your ears are closer to him and he'll whisper the filthiest and most nasty shit to you. He's also the kind of guy who will hold your hand to the shower (once you're able to walk again) and wash your hair to ease any residual burning on your scalp. He'll gently brush it out while you sit at your vanity in the bathroom and bend over to whisper incredibly sweet things to you. He's not trying to cancel all the things he did to you (for you??) but he likes there to be a balance. He doesn't want things to get too off kilter. So expect an equal or greater reaction from him in the aftercare routine. Draken will also pay attention to small cues from you and if you ever seem bothered by anything - he doesn't care how small or stupid you might think it is - he always gets you to tell him. So don't waste time. Just fucking tell him so he can go back to being the best boyfriend to you.

Taglist ::: @kazutora-kurokawa @katkitkats @arlerts-angel @viburnt @darkstarlight82

[queenoffishingandcookies]

Thinking on the first shower Noctis took, post-crystal.

He wakes up, and he has to know on some level that quite some time has passed, even before he reaches Galdin Quay. The scratch of facial hair on his chin, the way his hair is longer and tickles his chin now when it shouldn't have, the accumulated grime - dust and dirt and traces of black soot and gray ash on his fatigues - on his skin and clothes from the struggle in Zegnatus Keep and then a decade in stasis.

I'm not sure if the crystal just up and deposited him on Angelgard, because while Noctis was sucked into it in his entirety - we don't know of the divide between his soul/mind, and his actual body, and there's something so grim in thinking about Noctis himself was in the crystal, absorbing centuries of power, while his body is left in Angelgard.

That also, to me, makes more sense as to why Gentiana and Umbra would be there, guarding him, and later - a la Comrades expansion - the surviving Glaives.

Noctis himself wasn't there, but his body was.

Imagine the feel of that. Ten years worth of grime, or nearly.

I say nearly, and maybe it's just my bleeding heart for how Gentiana does care about Luna, and in turn how Luna cares for Noctis, but there's something very tender and bittersweet in the thought of Gentiana - the messenger and Astral in one - trying her best to keep Noctis healthy during that long decade, like sponge bathing to keep the worst off him.

If anyone had direct access to Noct, it would be her.

It wouldn't be the same as a proper bath, or real exercise, but it would be something - keeping of muscular atrophy and maintaining his hygiene as much as possible (as well as whatever crystal fuckery is going on besides Bahamut's revelation, because the amount of issues Noct should have woken up with makes no small list).

Noctis wakes up, and he walks the trail Umbra paves for him, to the shores of Angelgard - and the royal vessel is waiting there for him. Aged, probably worn, but there to bring him back to the mainland. Back to Lucis.

We never see the interior of the Royal Vessel, but there's probably bedrooms - and probably a bathroom. Considering Noctis would probably be more focused on driving the yacht itself, rather than stopping, it'd be unlikely for him to enter the bathroom - but the thought of him looking into a mirror, and looking at himself, so changed from what he remembers being...

It carves the strongest feeling of loss, down to the roots of my heart in my chest because - Noctis is grown. He's fully grown, a man, and yet - not. Ten years were stolen from him, and he wouldn't even know yet. Not until running into Talcott.

There's so much of his father in his face, but his father is dead. His father never got the chance to see Noctis grown up in life, never would have gotten the chance with the strain of the wall and the magic of their bloodline sucking his life away.

His father, who at the end of it all, would be forced to deliver the final blow which severed Noctis from his body once more.

Permanently.

I think it might be even worse, though. For Noctis to first see himself in the mirrors of Talcott's van. In glimpses, but never as a whole, because it's so damn dark and the sun hasn't risen - hasn't pierced the clouds of miasma - for near ten years.

If there was anywhere he'd be able to see his face, it would be at Hammerhead. Hammerhead, where his retinue was waiting - Prompto, and Gladio, and Ignis (who would, just like Regis, be unable to bear witness to Noctis growth).

They're all different, too. Gladio, with longer hair and more scars to count. Prompto, with a goatee a tad longer than Noct's stubble and facing down Daemons with more practice and experience. Iggy, who can't see, but learned to cook and fight again, with more lines on his face and scars on his hands from where others had helped guide weaponry or cookery away from himself before he had adjusted -

Then, Iggy being the exception (except for the visions in Altissia), they are the first people to see his face, besides Umbra, besides Gentiana, Talcott, the Glaives...

There's the feel of water dousing his hair, rolling down his spine and over his body, and it's not hot or cold - but lukewarm. People in and out of Hammerhead now, the power that goes into heating water needed elsewhere. The scent of bland soap, without any real fragrance. Clear water running dark down a drain as he scrubs and scrubs and scrubs - and he gets out, and he gets dressed in attire fit of a king.

A warrior, heading to war. A man, mortal and yet to become not, preparing to make a declaration to the heavens themselves not in words, but his own spilled blood staining the throne once built off of it.

Just. Noctis waking up after the crystal.

Feelings.

[astroyongie]

Yongie you should do the kink thing with our placements 🙈

I'm so curious if my actual preferences would match with my astrological placements 🤔

Let me change this and actually make a small post about Kinks for everyone to check !

Kinks Through Astrology

note: For this, I would advice you to look at your mars sign, 8Th house placement and potentially Eros placement to complement. Also this is just a resume

Aries: Their kinks are very passionate, harsh and rough. So usually kinks involving uniforms, dress up, sweating, inside locker rooms or any sport room; also showers, pools, baths. Kinks around roughness, hateness, grudges, angry, jackhammering; orgies and threesomes can be a huge turn on too, domination play, pain play, hair pulling. Also deep throating, face slapping, face spitting

Taurus: it's roughly vanilla. it involves breath play, hands around throats, chocking; also soft BDSM, food play, touches and foreplay is important, prolonged sex, instead of several rounds, huge ones, hands over mouth to keep silent, stuffing their mouth, oral, slow sex, against hard surfaces like tables, walls, grounds

Gemini: Hands play, fingering, handjobs, finger sucking, hands wrapped around their back, hands restraining or bonded, they are huge dirty talkers and/or get turn on by dirty talking, some praising other degradation, oral giving and receiving, licking and sucking body parts in general, phone sex, sexting, videotaping it, and using all type of toys.

Cancer: They are very daddy like, so daddy play and everything that it includes, older or younger people depending on the person, creampies, pregnancy fantasies and fetishes, pegging, "alpha omega knotting", chest play, boobs play, nipple play, physical pampering, praising, kissing, touching, comforting sex after an argument, sadness or being upset, unprotective sex, no use of contraception, some have family incest fantasies

Leo: Praisign and or degradation depending on other placements, chest play as well, with nipple play and nipple sucking; fight and argument sex, violent sex from it as well, exhibitionism, cock worshiping, body worshiping, role plays of being different people or dressing up, hair pulling, screaming of pain or pleasure, noise in general, pictures, body degradation

Virgo: A lot of submissive play, with not only sex slave play, but full under domination, letting the person do whatever they want, fuck doll kink, holy spaces or semi-public spaces, like sacred places or working places, heavy bondage and restriction, shibari, noise sex, loud moans and grunts due to voice fetish, slutting, oral, blowjobs and going down on their partner, rimming, and playing hard to get or innocent play

Libra: anything involving anal play, so pegging, anal, rimming, plugs, butt slapping, smacking, beating and punishment play, lingerie sets, latex play, wax play, nightlife kink with doing the deed in clubs, bathrooms, hallways, public spaces, striptease, seducing and flirting during the deed, worshiping play, hard to get, saying no when wanting yes, kinks are vast.

Scorpio: too many kinks, they have no limits so they want to try everything that there is. Biting, making, sucking, hickeys, kissing, heavy and soft bondage and restriction linked to BDSM play, pain play, sadistic play, domination play and roughness; oral, blowjobs, penetration with fingering or with toys or sex, hypersensitivity, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, showers, beaches, baths, pools, semi-public.

Saggitarius: huge attraction for foreigners people out of their culture, novelty, no limits in kinks either they want to do everything, several parties, one night stands, want only experience, gets turn on by people confessing to them and filing their ego, public sex, semi-public, semi consensual, trying new things, legs bitting, leg restraining,

Capricorn: Blindness, restriction and bondage play either soft or hard, doing in on the shadows, during the night with no light, perfume and scent sensitive, wax play, tickling, feathers, spanking, butt slapping, punishment, voyeurism, picture taking, video tapping, doing sexual videos and posting them, watching people or videos, orgasms denials, torture playing, edging

Aquarius: big kinky as well, this could go to one night stands, anonymous partner, glory holes, yellow houses where the ladies are, threesome, foursome or even orgies and sex parties, golden showers, degradation with body fluids, incest fantasies and other taboo fantasies, daddy kink with all included on the theme like daddy baby girl play and creamies, breath play, weird fetish, toys and also attraction towards foreigners

Pisces: Masochists play all the way, they are versatile and their kinks go everywhere depending on the person? Foot plays and fetish, emotional damage with redoing their traumas, wanting love and violence at the same time, a mix of gentleness and roughness, being degraded yet praised. So it's basically a paradoxical kinks, blood play and fantasies, knife play, taboo kinks as well.

[euniexenoblade]

I may have asked you this before, and I'm really sorry, so I'm gonna be on anon for this. I. hate. cleaning. I've always hated cleaning. I just...have some strange aversion to cleaning. When I'm elsewhere, I clean just fine. But when it's my own stuff and area...I just avoid it for as long as possible. Executive dysfunction really sucks. What advice do you have that you can give me?

Executive dysfunction is tough, because it's really really hard to get around sometimes. Nothing I say will be a sure fire way to get through it, but I hope something I say can be helpful.

First of all, do not expect that you'll clean the whole house or anything. Just focus on a small amount at a time. Doesn't even have to be a whole room. Make it like, "today I will take care of x in the bathroom." It'll be so much easier. Maybe do like, one task a day if possible, and allow yourself to not keep up with that. You're allowed to skip chores, it's not the end of the world.

I like to open up the windows and let sunlight in, I also really like to blast music (or headphones if need be) and just go for it. I approach it like a jog, activity i need to power through and music is the energy. Serious about that sunlight, it wakes you up and brightens the mood.

As I said, start small. Is there garbage in your room? Pick it up and throw it out. There you go, there's one task. You can call it done there if you want. Do you have dishes scattered around your room? Pick em up and put them in the sink. There you go! A whole new task completed!

If the trash needs to go out, take it out when you leave the house. On your way to work? Take the trash out on the way. Gonna check the mail? Take the trash out.

Dishes can be daunting but if you break it into smaller tasks it can be a lot more manageable. When I'm at my girlfriend's house I tend to do the dishes immediately following the meal. (This is largely cuz they have so few dishes in general and so they're available when we want to eat next buuuut) This makes it so dishes don't stack up. Washing one bowl and one spoon and maybe a pan is a lot less work than a collected stack. You could also just load dishes into a dishwasher (assuming you have one) as you go. A lot of people don't do this which kinda always surprises me, but if you finish your meal, immediately when getting up, put the dishes in the dishwasher. No wait. Just do it. Dishes can't stack if they're already in the machine that's going to clean them.

Executive dysfunction is really hard to get around sometimes, and I'm sorry if none of this actually helped. But, with a lot of things with low energy or depression, you gotta kinda just make yourself do it. I know that seems redundant, "I can't make myself do it that's why it's a problem" but it is genuinely true. Sometimes you gotta just force it to happen. It's ok not to always be on top of everything. It's ok if today you just can't do it. It's ok if there are things you can't do and need help. Don't beat yourself up over it, that's not gonna help. Remember that it's ok to take breaks and not finish tasks.

Reward yourself. After you do the thing, do something you like. Eat chocolate, watch that show you've been waiting for, get high, whatever you want. (I like to take a big hot bath with a lush bath bomb, it's a great reward hehe~)

Buy a maid uniform, lots of people have told me that helps them power through chores :)

I don't know if any of that will help, but I hope it does.

Also, while I'm doing this, back on my last blog I wrote a post in reply to an ask of "how exactly do I clean my room" and I haven't been able to find it. So I think it'd be good to recreate it here. This is a lot more intensive, so anon plz don't feel inclined to do any of this. This is entirely for if people have the energy and ability, a bit closer to what I do.

Put on music. Absolutely the most important thing is having fun with it. Put on that song you like to sing along to, or that song you like to dance to, get yourself some energy. Jam the fuck out.

This is big optional, so feel free to skip this one if you don't want to do it. If you have a ceiling fan, wipe the top of the blades. Dust collects there even if you've been using it. But, if you haven't been using it, you don't want to knock all that dust down when you finally do. Go get yourself a duster for like $5 somewhere. If you just can't do that I'd recommend using a dry rag (always use dry things for dusting).

Do you have any dirty clothes? Whether in a hamper or on the floor, pick them up first and get the washer going, do the rest while the washer runs.

Get a trash bag. Do you have any trash in your room? Empty bottles, cans, wrappers, paper, any trash whatsoever: pick it up and put it in the bag.

Do you have any dishes laying around? Pick them up now and put them in the sink.

Wipe down any surfaces that might be dusty. Again, duster or dry rag. You can use paper towels if you want but I feel they're not very good for this task. Now wipe down any that might be dirty, from trash, dishes or whatever. Wet paper towel is allowed if you have no alternative, wet rag is probably better, lysol wipes tend to be my preference, if you're really fancy then you can get specific cleaners for wood and stuff (I wouldn't worry about this if all your shits cheap Ikea or Walmart though).

Whenever the washer finishes, of course move it to the dryer, but also put your bedding in the wash. You're cleaning the whole room, there's no way there isn't gunk on your bedding. This bit is kinda predicated on being able to wash/dry whenever you want. if you're reliant on a laundromat, edit this to whatever makes sense to you.

If you have carpet, I'd recommend to vacuum now. If you don't have a vacuum, no shame but I do recommend them. I wouldn't recommend a Dyson even though they look and seem cool, if you want a decent vacuum just stick to the normal top brands and you'll be fine. If you want one but don't have much money, get one of those small hand ones. If you have a hard floor, swiffer that shit.

You are largely done! Sometimes things may not be this easy but try your best with what you have and it'll be fine. Even doing just one of these things will feel good afterwards. Feel free to take breaks, to stop all together, reward yourself when you're done. It's just cleaning your room, don't think of it as a big deal.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

oh lord here we fucking go. a defense of roronoa zoro, canon "stinky" swordsman:

it's about the complete, utter, fierce devotion. this man is the ride-or-die that can't die

that jaw is trained. that mouth is trained. that tongue is trained. i'm gonna spare further detail but i'm already in horny jail as i type, i know it and i'm going willingly

110cm

he bathes once a week NOW, but out of literally everything that could be worked on in a relationship, that's the deal-breaker? not the fact that someone, i dunno, abuses/shackles their child or is a murderer that works for the government, but the bath? (i'm sorry about the brothers thing, that must suck, but for real?)

as others have pointed out, tolerance for body odor varies (as does the production of b.o. in general, i knew people who could hit the gym and without any smell at all so honestly who knows where he lies on the scale)

you could actually make an argument that zoro bathes once weekly on purpose. hear me out: water has to be brought on board and is obviously needed for stuff like cleaning and cooking first, then nami and robin's baths, sanji's, chopper's and usopp's. franky might need water for steam powered something-or-others too, who knows. regardless, all of those are things that zoro would prioritize over himself taking a bath every day (or twice a week, or however often), especially if he knows he's gonna be working out again as soon as he's awake. what's the point? he keeps odd sleep hours (4-7am) and mostly naps on the deck in the open air, so he's probably not actually stinking up the boys' room as much as you'd think, and it's the type of thing he'd do to decide that a little inconvenience (him being sweaty or stinky) is worth the trade-off of quietly allowing the other things on the ship that are needed to happen more smoothly and easily.

he's insanely protective. he's strong. he will work as hard as needed (and harder) to make sure whatever needs to get done gets done. once again, he is HYPERLOYAL. he's adorable. he thinks that north is up. he tarzan yells while swinging from ropes. he hates chocolate and drinks alcohol like he doesn't even have a liver. he took on a hundred bounty hunters by himself. he's covered in blood more often than not. he's only cried like three times in his life and they were all about making promises for the future. "nothing happened." he flips from feral creature to absolute dumbass in 0.01 sec. he kept track of the order his shipmates arrived back at sabaody for no reason except to tease them about it and is canonically good at math. he gets flung around by his captain like a sack of grain. i'm sorry but for me there's nothing not to love, zoro is hotness incarnate (fungus or not)

Someone was actually able to defend Zoro, and it's not. Don't worry, he doesn't know what the fourth sword style is, or I'd get Franky to invent a power washer. I'm impressed

For context, they're responding to Zoro's Defend your Blorbo post linked here

[takeariskao3]

I’ll give you an example…. I read this Reddit post about a gf who convinced her bf females shed skin during their periods (she was wearing a face mask at the time), and got her bf’s sister/mother/female friends in on the joke. They all went along with it or months and the poor guy thought it was true until he brought it up during dinner and his Dad was like WTF?! Who told you that??? Lmao. I could see Ginny pulling something like that and the little old gullible Harry completely falling for it.

Something along those lines…

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL!!! 🥳🎂🎊

okay this is shamelessly inspired by an old onion article lmaoo

There was a rock in Ginny's shower.

Not like a pebble, or a piece of gravel or something that would be equally confusing, but maybe easier to explain. This was a solid three inch by three inch, light gray, porous, circular rock in the corner of the bath.

Harry had eyed the thing curiously over the span of several weeks. It moved every so often, which made him think it was either sentient or useful in someway. It was also always a little bit damp, sometimes even sudsy, which made him think Ginny used it during her washing routine. This had him testing the hypothesis on himself, but scrubbing the rock down his forearm didn't result in any extra cleansing, it just fucking hurt. So, he ruled that one out.

Then he wondered if it didn't have some magical purpose, like a wizard shortcut, but he asked Ron, and his best mate didn't have a clue. Which brought Harry back to square one.

For about two months, the mystery of the stone in Ginny's shower remained just that. A mystery. Until one night, after joining her in the bath post spectacular sex, he finally worked up the nerve to ask.

Grabbing the rock from the shelf, he held it up between them. "What is this thing?"

Ginny frowned at him and blinked several times in confusion.

"Is it alive? Does it do anything? What do you use it for?"

Ginny sucked her lips between her teeth to bite back a smile. "What do you think I use it for?"

"I don't know!" Harry replied dramatically. "I thought maybe it was for the soaps and things, but its too rough to use as a sponge. But it moves around, so obviously you use it. Either that or it's taken up residence in your shower and you have a pet rock you've never told me about, which fine, whatever, but it can't just be here for no reason..."

Ginny nodded along, her grin growing harder and harder to hide.

"What?" Harry asked. "Is it something obvious and I'm being a muppet?"

"No," she interjected and her face contorted into something like sympathy.

"Well, then what?" He turned it end over end in his hands to examine it. "Because I can't figure it out. Does it absorb bad smells? Does it clean when we aren't looking? Does it ward off evil spirits?"

Snorting, Ginny plucked it from his grasp and stared up at him with wide eyes. "I'll tell you, alright, but you can't laugh."

"Why would I laugh?"

"It's sort of..." she hesitated, "superstition."

Harry pinched his brows together. "Like a normal superstition or a Luna superstition?"

She winced. "Luna superstition."

Smoothing his grimace, he listened to her explanation with steadily increasing wonder...

------------------------------------------

3 years later

"It's just getting worse," Hermione complained from her spot on the sofa. "I don't think I can keep going on like this. It's completely demoralizing."

"It's just a slump," Ginny answered. "It's not like you've had a ton of great options to begin with."

"Yes, that is the demoralizing part."

Harry backed away from the conversation slowly, unsure of how to engage with the subject matter of one of their best friend's, frankly miserable, dating life. Hermione had always been so sure of herself, and so independent, he hadn't ever considered that she truly wanted to date someone for real. After her and Ron had broken up, she seemed put off by the whole undertaking.

Which, fair. Harry had abhorred dating. So, he could relate.

Sometime recently, though, she must have decided to put herself out there. Only it seemed she wasn't impressed or particularly taken with any of her choices.

A spark of an idea curled through the back of his mind, and he turned toward the stairs to mount the steps two at a time. Charging into his and Ginny's bathroom, he found what he was looking for in moments. He supposed they could loan it out, at least until Hermione could get one of her own.

It wasn't like he and Ginny exactly needed it anymore.

Returning to the sitting room, Harry marched past the armchair and presented his gift with assured conviction.

Hermione stopped talking abruptly and looked at the stone in Harry's hand in unmitigated confusion. Meanwhile, Ginny made a choking noise and clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Take it," Harry urged, but she still looked utterly bewildered. "It's-- well, it's not exactly incontestable, but it seemed to work for us. Maybe... you could give it a go?"

Hermione's expression didn't change, but she accepted Harry's gift anyway.

"A pumice stone?" she asked, looking to Ginny for clarification. Ginny, for her part, seemed unable to speak; her shoulders shaking and her cheeks as red as a tomato.

Harry took over the responsibility of explaining. "If you keep it damp and keep it close to where you... you know-- it'll bring you luck and... you know... the other things, too."

"Sorry, I'm not quite understanding." Hermione blinked several times very quickly. "You think a pumice stone brings you sex luck?"

"Yeah," Harry swallowed down his discomfort and shifted his gaze to Ginny in a plea for help. Only she was full on convulsing now, her entire upper body shaking with...

Laughter.

His realization must have showed on his face because Ginny lost all semblance of control and dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, christ--" he swore loudly. "I can't believe this. What does it actually do?"

"It's for your feet!" Hermione cried, her own grin stretching across her face.

"Your what?" Harry replied, his horror growing with each second.

"Your feet!" Hermione said again, then she threw the rock at Ginny's middle. Ginny caught it and, if possible, laughed even harder.

"FEET?" Harry roared. "What does that do for your feet!?"

Ginny sucked in a gasping breath and cackled, "You scrub the callouses, you absolute moron!"

He threw his hands into the air in embarrassment and frustration. "Oh for fuck's sake, what else have you tricked me into?"

"No!" Ginny bellowed through tears of laughter. "Nothing, I swear!"

"I got one of those for Ron last Christmas!"

"You what!?" Ginny and Hermione shrieked at the same time.

"He and Padma had just--" Harry clenched his teeth, grinding his molars in mortification. "This is unbelievable. "

"Oh, Harry," Ginny keened. "I'm sorry, okay? But think of it this way, we didn't actually need luck at all!"

Shaking his head, he grumbled a few choice words under his breath and turned his back on the uncontrollable giggles still echoing from the couch.

[destinygoldenstar]

I Answer The Would You Rather Questions From TD2023 Episode 17

(IK what you're gonna say about the title, idc, I'm calling it one long season because I feel like it)

Here's the video I'm basing this off of in case you're curious.

Would You Rather...

A) Camp in a Graveyard for a month

B) Go without toilet paper for a week

I WANT to say I wouldn't be scared cause zombies aren't real, BUT I'd be lying cause in real life, I'm anxious like no tomorrow. Plus at least with the other it's a lesser timespan.

B

(I relate to Damien so hard with this one.)

Would You Rather...

A) Have to wear clown makeup for a year

B) Have your direct messages made public

I don't actually DM that much, most you'd find are a bunch of sex bots that I blocked immediately, and other than that it's really just me answering people's questions about media. So I can't really say I'd lose much.

But honestly, I think clown makeup is actually pretty fun. Didn't say I wouldn't get to design the makeup myself. I'd just be cosplaying as Pomni, and I think I'd be okay with that cause Pomni is adorable.

A ; For the fun of it

Would You Rather...

A) Lose the passwords to all your devices everyday

B) Spend the entire next school year in a hot dog costume

Jokes on you Chris, I'm not in school anymore.

B

I SUCK at passwords anyway. So, NO THANKS.

Would You Rather...

A) Be Hockey Superstar *Whatever he said*

B) Be the puck that scored the game winning goal in the 1980 cup finals

One, I am not a sports person let alone a hockey person

Two, I was not alive in the 1980s!

I'd go with B cause I don't want to 'be other people'. I do that in fiction already and with my cynical online persona. I don't do that in real life.

Would You Rather...

A) Slide naked down a ski hill

B) Spend a day in a wave pool that uses bark instead of water

I hate the cold. So let alone being naked, it would suck.

But swimming in VOMIT?!

NO THANKS

A

Would You Rather...

A) Popcorn that tastes like poop

B) Poop that tastes like popcorn

NEITHER.

Straight up. NEITHER.

I hate both of these so much. I do not understand how Zee can possibly pick one without hesitation. (Then again, it is Zee, so...)

I am SUCH a sensitive eater. I will vomit no doubt at both of these.

I guess technically one isn't s**t, it's just the flavor sucks, so... A?

But if there was an option to pick C, I'd do it.

Screw the rules of this challenge. make it a trick question and have the person fall no matter what. TROLL, Chris. Why wasn't there a troll like that in the challenge? I'm surprised.

Would You Rather...

A) Take truth serum and be questioned by Chef

B) Only be able to eat Chef's cooking for a whole year

Again, sensitive eater over here.

DEFINITELY A.

Would You Rather...

A) Eat a bowl of toenail clippings

B) Not shower for a month

I'm actually tolerant to nail clippings, but AGAIN...

B

He said SHOWER, he said nothing about baths, swimming, deodorant, washing your hands and face, etc. So YEAH, it's actually not that bad if you think about it.

Would You Rather...

A) Eat 200 Lemons

B) Wrestle your best friend's grandpa

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHOICES THAT INVOLVE EATING SOMETHING?!

I'm a softie, so I'd lose, BUT...

My best friend in particular actually hates her grandparents. So she'd love me if I wrestled them, even if I'd lose.

B

Would You Rather...

A) Eat pudding directly from a gorilla's armpit

B) Jump from a plane with a parachute packed by your ex

In the episode, they make this sound worse than it actually is.

Or maybe that's just me because I actually DON'T HAVE AN EX

(At the time I am posting this)

HA! GOTCHA!

B

Even if I were to break up with my partner just for the sake of doing this, (then get back with her afterwards) she is very skilled with this sort of stuff, has made several crafts like this, and I trust her completely.

Usually I'd hate falling, or anything that involves a vertical motion like that, BUT there's a parachute so it wouldn't be that bad.

And at this point, you'd know I'd do basically anything to get out of eating nasty stuff. If my choices are something to go off of my character.

Would You Rather...

A) Fight one bear

B) Fight 100 Rabid Kittens

I'd lose no matter what.

I am a HUGE cat person, so at least I'd be used to the kitten's scratching and biting. And maybe I'd tame them rather than fight them. That's my method of fighting.

Bear? I'd DIE.

B

(Also i love Wayne and Raj here. They're so cringe in the wholesome way)

Would You Rather...

A) Give up texting for five years

B) Lose your bathing suit at a crowded wave pool

I text my partner ALL THE TIME, and I will NEVER GIVE THAT UP

B

At least with this option I could just run away, just one embarrassing moment rather than stuck there for five years or something.

And if someone said took a video of me and posted it, uh, JAIL FOR THEM, CAUSE THAT'S ILLEGAL

Would You Rather...

A) Dirt poor but celebrated as a great poet

B) A filthy rich lawyer who puts guilty criminals back on the street

Hello. I'm a writer.

I ain't gonna put people in danger like that.

A

Would You Rather...

A) Be genetically merged with a warthog

B) Have Chris McLean as your dad

First off, who f****d a warthog to begin with?

You know Chris as a person, you know it would be AWFUL

A

Looks don't matter, I'd say

Would You Rather...

A) Apologize for something you're not sorry for

B) Go bald by the time you're 23

In the episode they act like this is a really hard one because it's Chase.

I knew what he was gonna say right away. You see ONE episode with this guy, you KNOW his answer.

SERIOUSLY EMMA, HE'S YOUR EX, HOW DO YOU SCREW THAT UP?! HOW?!

Anyway, for MY answer,

I'm not a jerk.

A

Yeah I have stuff I'm not sorry for, but it is leagues better than hair loss. Let me tell you.

Also I realized Julia didn't get questioned at all. What's up with that?

What are your answers? Reblog them. I'm curious.

[cowboy-robooty]

I’m the anon who asked about the AUs! And The idol AU seems interesting I hope you could post it one day! I myself have an idol AU… somewhat, it’s a concept mostly… it’s idol x fan one but I’m reallyyy particular about how I like that trope so um… Yeah I still cannot decide on like what’s going on which is natural I guess. I don’t think about the world building too much unless it’s before sleep. I just get random AUs in my head whenever, like when bathing I randomly thought of an hetalia FRUK AU related to horse riding lessons, I’ve never been to those…

Anyways I hope you have a nice day! And it’s my birthday as I’m writing this!

omg no i understand. Idol x fan NEEDS REALLY REALLY GOOD EXECUTION because a lot of time it sucks balls but when its done right it soooooo good 😍😍😍😍😍 Idol x manager (my itager au) is a lot easier to get done because its a lot harder to fuck up ^^ hmmm i think im just addicted to world building against my will. because angel demon au is a whole mess of shit and ngl this is all because I really wanted angel italy to fuck germany in the ass. even my own ocverse actually originally was me going "yeah i think i could be a yaoi mangaka bro they just do fuckin whatever and only focus on the ship. watch ill make one rn" but it spiralled out of control with world building and other characters and now its a whole enchilada -_-

I know I'm answering late, BUT HAPPY HAPPY BARFDAYYY BLEH BLEH BLEHHHHHHHHFGHGGHHH!!!!!!!!

[princessfaerygia]

today been good so far. Paid some of my debt. Club fitness is being kind to me. I think it's cus of my cat ear creature hat! Also I explained how the dog bit me and I'm mentally disabled. So maybe they had empathy for me. One them complimented my hat ❤️‍🩹🌞

Anyways I'm at my boyfriends again. He is having access to me cellphone. I'm gonna take a bath now and shave. But not my legs cus they cheap razors and I always accidentally cut myself w cheap razors. Hairy leg lady here!

(edit: found good razors an ex friend dumpster died for me last year. I'm grateful. So I shaved my legs. Boyfriends sleeping rn. It's 4:50 pm thursday. )

I paid off my ambulance bill. Decided to start paying particular bills this new year. Mostly gym stuff.

My bf said "so we are officially together again" yes we are!

I'm going to be on better behavior and not yell or call cops on him. When his temper arises i shall remember: love is patient love is kind. Love hopes all things, love bears all things, love never ends.

So IDK if I can continue my gym membership after this last month cus I cancelled. It would suck to um have to start all over again cus that cost like a hundred dollars. It's interesting because I usually prefer matrix brand stairsteppers. But the one at gym near boyfriends is "life fitness" brand.

I am ever hopeful and tenderly excruciatingly vulnerable.

New years eve during my Uber ride to boyfriends my Uber driver said it was weird for her to be out and about working. I said omg I know I feel like a vulnerable animal. She said she understood completely as she had a panic attack at the gym the day before. We talked about panic attacks. I was diagnosed with panic disorder at age 17. It happened after I smoked weed out of a bong. I was freaking out so bad with my friends all around. They tried to give me crackers or cookies and knew i LOVE fairies. They were like "see gia~ it's fairy food!" So yes they tried to comfort me but it didn't work. They drove me home and I walked in fast circles around my house. Eventually called the cops on myself saying I was freaking out from smoking weed. Ambulance came and they said my heart rate was high. My current bf at the time brought me roses in the hospital. It was like a really long panic attack. Anyway it's a coincidence cus my Uber driver started getting panic attacks after smoking marijuana in highschool too. She said she did it three times in her life ain't ever gonna do it again. I'm like wow I done it way more but same, not gonna ever smoke marijuana again thank goodness. My bf does smoke weed sometimes but sparingly bc I abhor it. (Also just the thought of burning a plant does not abide well with me. Plants have feelings! We supposed to make friends with them not burn them! Just my naive opinion.)

Ok so about his new girl or whatever. I found her facebook. She seems cool I guess. She made a post about how its ok to be worthless. I love that. What's upsetting is my bf saying he won't use Facebook anymore so we ain't making our relationship public again.

I deactivated my old account bc I didn't want him to block or delete me. I wanted to peek at his page from time to time if we weren't together.

Also his ex defended me, she wrote him a letter and said he really needs a woman in his life. They r strictly friends. I got to stop nagging him about her with my fuming Scorpio jealousy. ~*I need patience and trust in God and this relationship, my heart.*~ Anyway even tho she said I wasn't as pretty as he made me out to be, she told the new girl that he's already got a girl! (Me!!!!🥹💞)

Also another time all the thirsty-for-him young female neighbors were trying to get his attention and flirt with him. Maggie his ex screamed out her motor vehicle and said "he has a girlfriend!' I feel blessed. I like her. I peeked at her Facebook page for the first time and she seem quite amiable. No I did not try to add her on my new fb account. But also my bf refused awhile ago recently to add me. I think he wants people to think he isn't with me no more.

But as soon as I stepped in apartment new years eve he was all talking about us still getting a place together. Wow. I'm definitely going to spend more time at my parents this time around. It feels good and better that way. I am wholesome kinda, always longed and yearned for a pure wholesomeness in life. ~*My mom's so dear and darling and kind.*~ Today she is going to put stamp on and mail out my money order for my previous ambulance experience. I said mom don't forget! And she said she won't bc she's "a control freak". She's a Pisces with Virgo moon. Venus in Taurus. Both my parents have Venus in Taurus. My Jupiter is in Gemini the 7th house Taurus. So it says I have good steady one on one relationships but that I can be stubborn and sensate in them duh. Am very fond of my family and dog and kitty cats.

I'm scared to live with boyfriend but do want to move forward w the relationship. He said he would even buy me a matrix stairstepper! They r like over 10,000 dollars I think. That would be a dream come true for me! Tho I do enjoy walking and writing to & fro.

Anyway. It's getting darker and darker. 5:18 pm now. I done posted so much it won't let me post til midnight.

Love y'all so much and I appreciate your company reverently.

Edit 8:31 pm: made vegan Alfredo w organic mushrooms. Had one bowl. That's all I ate today. Was super productive and didn't binge.

The Shannon new girl just called his house phone while him and his ex (they jus friends) are out shopping. His ex called me sweetie again lol

🌛🌞🌜

But she texted my wifi number (free text n calls it's an app lol) and said "ignore crazy ass Shannon" I said okay and put a lil squirrel 🐿️ emoji lol. Cus me and my bfs one our first dates was him feeding a squirrel on a hike it LOVED him. Then his ex replied "she's so fucked up"

O rly? Compared to me? Doubt it. Shannon his new love interest seems older than me and not as cutesy. But like I said she seemed cool cus she posted about being worthless as something not bad.

I try to look on positive and be like wow dese ladies is pretty and awesome and I wuv them. I jus wanna be included and not lied to 🥺

My coach in elementary school used to call me giapet. I feel like a regal, authoritative, meek, shy, friendly, excruciatingly vulnerable pet of humans in general. Gotta love em.

Ooh forgot to mention mom got me a mom and daughter journal to pass back and forth. I'll do that now after I inspect my queue. Peace and love. Happy new year! 🐁🤍

Edit again: omg my bf jus called to be like, that Shannon bish is crazy like she might stab someone. What the ever living fluff? I hate violence!

Anyway hope y'all receive rejuvenating rest and wake up refreshed and brave! 🕯️

[p2ep]

act 3 of the fontaine archon quest is making me go insane with how dog ass shit terrible boring it is. aside from g*nshin's usual shit writing this seems rather intentionally offensive given the current climate.

so this story line involves the player (willingly) getting sent to privately owned for-profit prison so they can rescue someone who was sent there wrongly(?) because this country's automated justice machine said so. this country has an automated justice machine that made the ruling btw. not what im mad about in this post i just wanted to mention that because this nation is in shambles tbh. my theory is that they have the previous hydro archon in there cabinet man style. anyways. so there's the for profit prison. before you go the person arranging this for the traveler mentions that we should take a nice bath and eat a nice meal before we head there cause it's going to suck.

HE WAS RIGHT. THIS PLACE FUCKING BLOWS.

after the traveler gets there we are treated to some history about this place. all of fontaine's laws regarding the punishment of criminals state that the offender is to be "exiled", and allegedly a bunch of exiles created this settlement that eventually BECAME the prison, and the state just started sending guards there to "protect" the prisoner- i mean Exiles. this explanation really makes no sense on account of this entire structure being very obviously a prison factory and not a settlement free people would make. but whatever. everyone in the story treats this backstory as good 👍 and true 👍

we also get an explanation of the general culture here. instead of money everyone uses "coupons", a form of currency you get from prison labor. all of the npc's seem fucking brainwashed. "isn't this such a good system, it's a cool place where everyone is on equal footing and everyone can pull themselves up regardless of status :)" insane individualism going on here.

another big part of this place's culture is the fact that everyone is constantly deepthroating the warden's entire dick and balls. constantly. EVERYONE loves it here! isn't this place so nice? the warden is SO cool after he came into power we get ONE free meal a day!!!! YAY!!!!!

i can't fucking stand this ^. every human being deserves life, calling people who can't or won't work in a PRISON for SCRIP "no-good slackers" is fucking disgusting.

i cannot stress how the game CONSTANTLY tries to pretend that this place is cool and normal. we're helping people get their lives back on track! (there are NO amenities in this prison besides a FIGHTING RING. no library no gym no NOTHINGGG) the warden treats us so well! (he shows up every now and then to tell you to get back to work) everyone is equal here since mora isn't used! (classic bootstrap shit) (what are these people supposed to do when they get out? since they have NO MORA. since you pay them in "coupons").

a smaller gripe i have is that this prison has ONE nurse and she's portrayed as constantly overworked and its treated as a wacky quirky joke or something instead of bizarre? i'm not like crazy mad though because this is just strange and not really applicable to the many wider ideological issues with this place. also i hate the fact that they made her some kind of human-melusine hybrid with no explanation it's fucking weird. fuck this place and fuck you s*gewine i would hate you less if you were a SLUG.

you spend like, 3 hours of your own human life in this prison watching the traveler do manual labor and listening to paimon go on and on about how nice this place is.

i have not finished this quest yet but i have Seen a bit of it and when you're about to leave p*imon says ":(i love it here we get a free meal" or whatever. what the fuck.

i just. this is a privately owned prison where people are forced to work in a factory to build police robots and aren't compensated with money. it's a good thing :) we LOVE prison :) slave labor is cool :) I HATE IT HERE I MISS F*RINA AND NEUVIVI AND L*YNEY wait LYNEY WAS HERE BUT THE GAME JUST ASSUMES YOU HATE HIM BECAUSE HE'S FROM THE FATUI but that's a matter for another post

g*nshin fans will be like my manager 😍😍😍😍😍

[momo-de-avis]

Be warned that this post is going to be extremely TMI, scroll along if you don't want it to ruin your parasocial relationship with me

They scheduled me an MRI back in September

The appointment is named like MRI followed by a bunch of medical terms that I, of course, don't understand.

The lady that scheduled it for me did not explain what it was.

My doctor did not explain to me what it was.

Nobody explained anything.

I've had an MRI before, two in fact, one done to my head and one with contrast when I was in the emergency ward of the hospital screaming in pain, so this second time I wasn't really paying attention to what the fuck an MRI entails except that you're put in a gigantic washing mashine thay sucks metal and makes a lot of noise (and the metal thing I know from Dr House)

So imagine my surprise when I arrive at the hospital and the receptionist asks me if took all the precautions required. I'm like. What now?

She goes. Oh, the medication you need to take beforehand.

I'm stuttering. what the fuck do you mean.

I scroll furiously through my email trying to find the appointment and hey. Guess what. It does say there that there's this one medication I have to take, which requires some physical interaction, and that I need to be on an empty stomach 4h prior. It doesn't say where I'm supposed to get this medication, nor does it say how to take it, cause I have no idea (in the smallest letters imaginable, at the bottom of everything, like scroll endlessly for it). I've never taken this shit

Mind you, the lady that made this appointment also made 5 other apps that day: an x ray, blood tests, an EKG, urine tests, and two other apps with an anesthesiologist and my gynecologist. Yes this was all for a surgery I'm going under in January. She also explained to me what to expect of the surgery, how to bathe myself 24h prior, what to expect of every single exam except the MRI.

So here's what she, or my doctor, failed to explain to me about this MRI, I am assuming because they assumed I'd done one and it's basically the same. Which stupidly, is what I thought.

She failed to explain to me that the medication I needed to take the morning of was for me NOT to, and now I'm going to translate into colloquial terms what the kind doctor explained to me, shit myself. And why would you shir yourself in a machine that sucks metal, spins and sounds like one of those horror ARGs on YouTube? Because she also failed to explain to me that, since this is an MRI to evaluate my endometriosis, they are going to fill your every single orifice up with a fucking gel.

And let me tell you something about this process.

It's not painful at all. But my god I felt like one of those victorians who went to those doctors who didn't wash their hands to cure themselves of a flu with an enema. It is like reverse giving birth, if you're giving birth to Flubber. The female doctor that did this, and I appreciate the tact of having a female doctor but at this point how could I give a shit, it can't get any worse than this, was one of those that only speaks in diminutives and kept calling me fofinha the entire time, which I get, but I'm a 34 year old woman being flooded with get through every cavity of my body terrified I'm gonna shit myself in the tightest MRI machine I've ever seen because the purpose of this shit is to "relax your sphincter and swell your intestines" which sounds like I just developed IBS from one doctor's visit, and it really makes things awkward.

And then they tell me the catheter they put on me is not only to inject whatever the fuck they need, but also I might need some contrast too.

The contrast was the least of my issues. I didn't even feel it

Here's what else the lady failed to explain to me. She failed to explain that, since you're now full of some gel, it is going to come out. And oh boy.

Imagine the hospital gives you the shittiest sanitary pad imaginable, and what happens in the next hour you're on public transport heading home is basically you're giving birth to Flubber again. The thing isn't even sliding down your legs, it's all retained in the shitty diaper the hospital provided you.

"It's only an MRI" and you walk out with clots of gel in your underwear, slopping down your orifices, and this in your arm

Next time I'm drilling that bitch with questions

[wwindblumee]

@pxtlss said -- Can I ask for all of the sin prompts? 👀👀

here you go!! i defaulted to venti :3

🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑how do they feel about having multiple partners at once? have they ever done it? -- With Venti being open to mostly everything, he honestly wouldn't mind opening up to a threesome -- or a foursome, if his partner's interested. He hasn't tried it before.

🪢do they have a kink? if so, what is it? -- Ofc ofc, Ven has quite a few -- bondage and worship are definitely his favorites though.

💸have they ever or would they ever accept money or gifts in exchange for sex? Duh -- Venti would do most anything for Mora and a good drink 😭

🍆how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners? -- Venti is very much willing to work with toys -- his favorites being anal beads, or just a regular vibrator. He would encourage the use of toys, but he'd understand if his partner would rather not use such things.

🌙do they need an emotional connection or are one-night-stands an option? -- Both! If he actually likes the person and enjoys their company, he'd rather get to know them first. If they're just someone from Angel's Share or similar, he's better off keeping it short.

🫂how do they feel about friends with benefits? -- He wouldn't mind that at all, he'd actually find it quite enjoyable.

🍒how old were they when they lost their virginity? to whom? was it significant? -- Canonically, he hasn't lost his virginity yet - but I like to think he does spend some time with fellow Mondstadters -- or travelers that come by -- for a little while. His first time wasn't significant.

🏳️‍🌈what’s their sexual orientation? have they ever experimented outside of that [for more binary orientations such as heterosexual/homosexual]? -- I see Venti as someone who pursues mostly men, but won't mind a female partner -- meaning he's bisexual.

👄do they prefer oral or penetrative sex more? -- He doesn't have a preference! Sucking (or being sucked by) a partner or being penetrated -- as long as it's sex.

↕️are they a sub, dom, or switch? top, bottom, or switch? -- Switch, leaning towards power bottom.

🛏️what’s their favorite position? -- Lotus or full nelson.

🔢what’s their body count? -- Haven't decided on a fixed number, but it's definitely around 10-20.

🕒what’s the longest time they went without engaging in sexual activity with a partner? [masturbation doesn’t count] -- With Venti being as sensitive as he I see him to be, he probably wouldn't last over two weeks.

👀how do they feel about voyeurism? exhibitionism? -- He doesn't mind those either !! He'd actually enjoy it if his partner publicly flaunted their relationship.

🏬would they have sex in public? if so, how public is too public? -- Yes!! His boundaries would be restaurants, parks -- anywhere popular that people would definitely notice.

❤️‍🔥what’s their most erogenous zone? -- Since Venti has an original form, I'm gonna go with that one. The bases of his wings are vv sensitive -- as are the insides of his thighs.

💋do they like to kiss while having sex? do they cuddle afterward? -- Of course!! Kissing is a must for him, and he would definitely engage in some cuddling -- after a bath.

💦what’s their immediate post-orgasm reaction? -- Honestly he'd just sink into the bed or whatever's under him for a while to catch his breath.

���what does after care look like for them? -- Taking a bath!! A shower is acceptable as well -- but he much prefers to bathe. He'd wash his partner's hair for them, and even share some special salves he has for his skin 🥰

[deuterium51614]

RobiHachi Rewatch Part 2

This time around, I had to watch the episodes on my computer, because for some reason my dad wanted to watch the Super Bowl? Which?? We're not a football-household??? (He said it's for the commercials, but we can just watch them on YouTube later?) Anyway, at least I was able to write all my notes as I watched!

Episode Five

Haccone!

I love how in this sci-fi series, they still have tolls that you have to physically stop at a checkpoint for and not just like. An EZ-Pass method of being able to drive through.

I like the two little Beetlejuice-looking sandworm aliens in the bath.

It's funny that the green aliens that constantly trample Robby are in the bath, and we later see them passing through the checkpoint. Like, if our trio hadn't gone immediately to the checkpoint and just enjoyed themselves on Haccone, they probably would've come to the checkpoint the same time as that group, and just found out that they needed to say they were going to Isekandar.

The entrance to the Don's residence is a suspension bridge... It's like he wants to create the feeling of love before visitors are even in his presence.

Is the line about "getting our souls sucked out" a reference to a kappa stealing the shirikodama? (It's also funny this came out the same season as Sarazanmai... Crossover when?)

Robby being a creep counter +1 (going after that trio of girls, and then saying Hatchi took "his" group of tourist girls away)

"You Earth men really love your hot springs!" (Does this count as a microaggression?)

So was Haccone already named that before Wombat came, or did he rename it when he brought hot springs?

Also, now that I'm thinking about it... I've always thought RobiHachi and Boueibu took place in the same universe because of this episode and the references later, but because of the movie changing the years I thought the series took place...

Could Boueibu, not CIDER like I thought based off the posters, be the show within RobiHachi? Except it's not an anime, but live action? So Wombat's an actor? (So it's okay, guys, En's not homeless, no one else has their respective futures--they're all just actors reprising their roles!)

Episode Six

"Once we get to Hamama II, I'll show you how to eat true eel." Is that a euphemism? asklfda

The trio getting chased by the giant eel reminds me of the sandworm from Beetlejuice.

"Claims to the throne" (Is that another Boueibu reference they slipped in? Also the fact that everyone on this planet is a man...)

Really, what is Yang's deal in this episode?

"Earthlings all look the same to me." (Another microaggression?)

Robby being a creep counter +1 (looking for girls the whole episode, and whatever he's dreaming lol)

I just saw the new Wallace & Gromit, so Yang's gargling sounds in the hall remind me of the gnome when it's charging aslfjsf

When I first saw this episode, I did see the twist coming that Hamamans would all be men, but I also was predicting that like. The eels they ride were the females.

I forgot about the volleyball scene. Takamatsu really loves his volleyball setting scenes, doesn't he?

Episode Seven

The fact that Akka Sakka has an entrance that you have to pay to get into makes me think about how landing there works. Cause the previous planets feel like they just landed wherever? Mars, Pluto, Odwarla, and Hamama II especially. I wonder how common it is for travelers to accidentally land in the middle of the park?

Ikku's doing the Arthur fist meme. And I love his face when his cheeks and mouths are star-shaped, it's so cute!

Gotta add the Akka Sakka song to my Umatani playlist on Spotify. ("Happy Dream")

Their experience in the teacups was literally me when I was a kid at Disney. Hated that ride.

So... How does Yang even know Robby's on Akka Sakka? Was that established? I guess maybe they saw his ship parked when they landed? Or maybe when Hatchi used his social media to get in, it could've posted something?

Hatchi's child design is really cute! In the booklet that came with the bluray, he kinda looks alien-ish. Is he half-alien? Like because of Luna Land and everything?

All the running up the stairs is giving me Utena vibes.

How did Robby and Hatchi manage to launch themselves like that? There wasn't much momentum in the previous shot lol

Gotta add this song to my playlist, too. ("Forever")

Is Ikku genuinely asking what ringing the bell means, or does he already know and is just teasing Hatchi about the fact he married Robby accidentally?

Episode Eight

The Nagaya Voyager was rainbow when it warped out, and then there's the implication that Robby and Hatchi were bathing together. (I mean, in the subs Ikku says Hatchi was in the bath, but I think in the dub he asks if they were bathing together?)

That shot after they land reminds me of a Humongous Entertainment game... Putt-Putt Travels Through Time, I think? (Which is giving me the idea to just. Edit Putt-Putt into a crowd shot lol)

I love how Yang has a little plushie or figure of Robby at his computer.

I like the Mecha Count's design.

WAIT OMG I never noticed, but Robby's age is on the hologram that Gras brings up. He's canonically 31! (I put him at 30 for that ship meme I did, so at least I wasn't far off...)

Robot Fight Club lol

Ah, so this confirms they're in the torso of Hizakuriger, I forgot about that. (Hence my confusion in my previous post.)

The raps feel like they'd be on Adult Swim as commercial bumpers lol (And I think I'll add them to my playlist, too!)

What is Hatchi's "what does it mean to be human?" clip a reference to? Not the line, but his robot look?

[savvyisland]

Break Up With Bad Habits, Not Ben & Jerry's: Your Post-Breakup Glow Up Guide

Let's face it, breakups suck. They leave you feeling like a deflated pool floatie, tossed aside on a deserted emotional beach. But hey, here's the silver lining most people miss: breakups are also a fantastic opportunity to kick some bad habits to the curb!  Think of it as a cosmic do-over button. Your ex is gone, and with them goes the excuse to, well, everything.

Now, before you think I'm some heartless robot suggesting you Marie Kondo your feelings (though, purging your ex's toothbrush is definitely a good start!), hear me out.  Breakups often leave a void we try to fill with unhealthy coping mechanisms.  Maybe it's a nightly pint of ice cream that morphs into a Ben & Jerry's graveyard in your freezer (picture a sad tombstone reading "Here Lies Phish Food, April 12th -  May 3rd"). Maybe it's mindlessly scrolling through social media, stalking your ex's vaguely sad vacation photos (we've all been there).

These habits might offer a temporary numbing of the pain, but they're ultimately like that clingy ex who never leaves – they hold you back from moving on and becoming the best version of yourself.  So, how do we break up with these bad habits and create a healthier, happier post-breakup reality?

Step 1: Identify the Emotional Vampires

The first step is to identify the bad habits that are sucking the life out of you. Are you suddenly BFFs with the vending machine?  Do reality TV marathons seem like a productive use of your newfound free time? Grab a pen and paper (or your phone's note-taking app, because millennials) and write down anything that makes you feel worse after indulging in it.

Step 2: The "Because..." Breakup Speech

Next, channel your inner Beyonce and write a breakup speech to these habits.  Except, instead of flawless vocals, use the power of "because..."  For example, "I'm breaking up with nightly ice cream binges because they make me feel sluggish and prevent me from fitting into those cute new jeans I bought to spite you-know-who."

Step 3:  Out with the Old, In with the You

Now it's time to replace those bad habits with activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Get Moving: Exercise is a natural mood booster. Take a dance class, go for a hike, or dust off that yoga mat gathering dust in the corner (because let's be honest, most of us have one).

Reconnect with Loved Ones: Breakups can make you feel isolated. Lean on your friends and family for support. Plan movie nights, go for walks, or simply have a good old-fashioned vent session.

Explore New Hobbies: Ever wanted to learn how to play the ukulele? Now's your chance! Take a cooking class, try painting, or join a book club.

Practice Self-Care: Breakups are a marathon, not a sprint. Make time for activities that make you feel good. Take a relaxing bath, get a massage, or indulge in a spa day (because sometimes retail therapy is the best therapy).

Step 4: Allow Yourself to Feel

Remember, breakups are a grieving process. Don't bottle up your emotions. Cry, scream into a pillow, write an angry haiku about your ex – whatever it takes to process your feelings.

Step 5: Celebrate the Wins (Big and Small)

Change takes time, so celebrate every victory, no matter how small.  Resisted the urge to call your ex? High five yourself! Managed to go a week without ice cream?  Treat yourself to a mani-pedi (because self-care comes in many forms).

The Road to a Happier You

Breaking up with bad habits after a breakup takes work, but trust me, it's worth it.  You'll emerge from this stronger, healthier, and ready to write the next chapter of your life – a chapter filled with self-love, resilience, and maybe even a new love interest who appreciates you for the awesome person you are.

Remember, you are not defined by your past relationship or your bad habits.