#what. what. what

[autisticlalna]

VIKING FUCKING EXPLODED

[tittyinfinity]

>mom asks me to go to the pharmacy

>says the pharmacy closes at 4:30pm

>I rush to get my errands finished so I can get her meds

>pull into the pharmacy drive-thru at 4:20

>see that the pharmacy doesn't close til 5:30

>another car pulls in behind me

>it's my mom

>get a phone call from my mom yelling at me

>intense confusion

[gl1tched-g0th]

SHUT UP WHAT DO YOU MEAN ARCTURUS BEAMING WAS RELEASED TODAY?@?@?#?@?

[batmanshole]

"grant morrison wrote red hood: lost days" is NOT a take i was expecting to have to disprove but here we are

[ntaras]

REPTILE HAD A WIFE AND SON??????

[foolfortune]

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[chrismcshell]

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

[princehendir]

I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

[fangs-4-fags]

remembering the time i drunkenly told a stranger i was a trans man and he started going off about alpha sigma and beta males and how each one was equally important no matter what anyone says and that i shouldn't feel pressured to be a strong alpha male because emotionally intelligent beta males were just as important

[so-many-ocs]

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

[emj4yart]

Google is cooked

[alocalfrog]

Can you imagine suing Boeing and coming home to find Boeing's faulty plane parts washed up in your backyard?

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.