#what. what do i tag thiis

[k1tty5]

@plumadot ’s dnd au is very cool and i very much enjoy the designs,,,, couldn’t stop my hand from drawing this little guy <3

[jo-com]

🎧₊ ꪆৎ ˚⋆. ➛ The other Woman

Charles Leclerc x Fem!reader x Alexandra Saint Mieux

Summary: You’ve grown tired of the baseless rumors that you’re ‘the third party’— worst part is, Charles and Alex doesn’t defend you.

Genre: A little SMAU, Angst, Poly established relationship

Fc: Alexa Demie

Note: there are some grammar errors and this is not proofread also I figured i do an angsty fiction bcs i always write about fluff and just wanted to switch things up! Hope you enjoy thiis!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist. (Part 2)

─────── ─ ⋆˚࿔☕️ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆─ ───────

Your heart clenched from sorrow as you scrolled further down the comment section— a mixed of different emotions coursing through your mind stream, making your heart and head throb with the growing pain.

Every hurtful banters went straight through your heart, as if they were knives; stabbing you in the most gruesome way.

The tears that you tried to held back is now pushing their way out of your eyelids, ready for them to fall down your porcelain cheeks.

As you red more— the feeling of discomfort subdued your thoughts and was in need of comforting.

So that’s what you did. Finding comfort in something or someone.

You hurriedly exited twitter with shaky hands and went straight to your contacts, ready to find the three of your’s group chat.

Expecting them to make your heart at ease and say nothing but endless affirmations.

…

➛ Message

…

Or so you thought.

You let out a heavy sigh— the stinging sensation in your chest won’t stop and was aching even more with each words that they replied with.

The hurt in your heart caused your pent up tears to pour down your cheeks, making a stream of profound sadness evident in your complexion.

You didn’t get why they were like that to you, i mean they did care even if it were a little, but saying that you’re overreacting is just crossing the line. If it were about them, they’d be all over the place. Things really are just different when it comes to you.

As those thoughts clouded your mind— the fear of being abandoned popped up. Planting an uneasy feeling grow deep in your heart.

…

The following days, you’ve avoided them like the plague— canceling their calls and making excuses whenever they ask you to go out, dismissing them with your lame transparent reasons.

But they didn’t buy it and kept on chatting you in all of your social media accounts.

Even after flooding your messages they still wouldn’t stop, and the same goes with your feelings. The hurt will always stay and keep on following you.

Those days also got you to rethink whether or not your important and do they even have a place for you in their heart. Earning a lot of sleepless days and silent cries; all alone in your own embrace.

The only two person who’ve known about your messy state were lily and alex.

Unlike the two, they were nothing but supportive and was giving you the comfort you needed in the first place. You wished that Alex and Charles was like that;

…

But instead of mopping around all weak, you’ve decided to take Lily’s offer in going out.

Unbeknownst to your two lovers of your whereabouts— still hurt from your previous conversation.

…

Miss.yn

Liked by Lilymhe and 12,789 others

Miss.yn Out of sight, out of mind💋

Tagged; @Lilymhe

View all comments

Username1 ATE THAT DRESS UPP

Lilymhe just wow🤤🤤

Miss.yn Love yaa!!

Username2 they could never make me hate u!!

Francisca.cgomes invites when??

Miss.yn Next time, i promise

Francisca.cgomes 🙄🙄🙄

Lilymhe i wanna go again😢

Miss.yn I know u miss me already🤭

Lilymhe i always do though??

Alex_albon weirdo.

Comments have been restricted

…

After posting your pics and not even 30 minutes have passed when you’ve received countless text messages of Alex and Charles.

…

After that, your whole world seem to be falling apart.

You couldn’t even count the days where you just laid in bed and only stared at the ceiling waiting for the hours to past.

Neither Alex and Charles chatted you after. Leaving a big hole in your heart— a hole that only they can fill.

The break up was a stupid idea but it was either that or stay with a relationship that doesn’t value your feelings. They’ve hurted you, not physically but emotionally and you had every right to be angry.

You just wished that they said something to even comfort your tearing heart.

That’s all you wanted from the start. Words of affirmation and comfort from the ones you love.

Was it too much to ask?

…

Hi i am back, sorry for not posting in a while, i really had this writers block that just couldn’t leave😓😓 hope you enjoyed this angst though!!

[pharawee]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @dramavibes back in December. Thank you so much 💜and sorry it took me so long to do this 😔

three ships: right now? I'm still not over NoeyThi (I Will Knock You). I thought I could be normal about them but now I'm even dreaming about them. What's next? Fanfic?? But also, I'm always up for some KenBig (Kinnporsche) and super curious about Li Ming & Heart (Moonlight Chicken).

first ever ship:  I'm going with BLs only and since I only started watching in 2021 it's Manner of Death's TanBunn.

last song: ง้อว (Smile Please) from the My School President OST

last movie: Pee Nak / พี่นาค - I only watched this for Tar Atiwat (he's super cute in it) but it's a genuinely good and funny movie (if you're into the usual brand of Thai horror/comedy)

currently reading: Sammon's Triage (I made this whole post on BL novels recently but now I'm too busy to even read 😭)

currently watching: Never Let Me Go, Moonlight Chicken & My School President, with a bit of casual Hit Bite Love on the side. There's a lot of new BLs starting this month and there's still a handful of BLs/shows I want to catch up with but I'm just too busy atm 😔

currently consuming: a nice hot cup of tea

currently craving: I'm thinking of making massaman curry later. no but actually I've been gluten-free since November last year and what I'm craving above all is pizza (I've had the gluten-free version - it sucks) and ramen/udon 😭

I'm tagging: @gunsatthaphan @respectthepetty @fandork @placetneplacet @singto-prachaya @thii-nii @leedongwook @boun-prem @rachanun (as always, only if you feel like doing this of course 💜)

[gaykneecaps]

THANKS FOR TAGGING ME!! LETS DO THIIS

January - one day by lovejoy

dont know what to say about this one. is someone going to kill my cat?

February - turbulent by waterparks

well jesus. i guess my BPD is going to go wilder than it already is guys good news

March - saline solution by wilbur soot

well thats just dandy. is there going to be even more drama with my immune system oooorrr

April - amazon standing lamp by wilbur soot

i cannot even begin to fathom what this one means. am i going to order a top heavy amazon standing lamp. will it be the only light left in my life

May - soundproof by destroy boys

??? am i going to be doing something that would invoke stagefright?? am i going to be singing on a stage??

June - jubilee line, wilbur soot

IM GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE?? im either going to commit suicide, move to london and get asthma, or watch someone jump in front of a train?? i dont like any of those options?? apparently im going to be shouting at walls?

July - scum by lovejoy

self hatred july???

August - dick move by mommy long legs

??someone will cut me in line at the grocery store???

September - dollhouse by melanie martinez

not much changing from normal life here?? maybe my sister will follow in my siblings footsteps and start smoking weed?

October - sippy cup by melanie martinez

so apparently the depression will NOT be getting better next year nor will my family lets go

November - call me what you like by lovejoy

??situationship?? stalking?? what?

December - you cant hide by ck9c

so apparently im going to pull a michael afton and get kidnapped by circus baby in december

@moonysfavoritetoast@i-may-be-an-emu@elynalime and anyone i forgor!!

i wanna start a tag game so: let your spotify predict your 2024!

shuffle your on repeat playlist, and the first twelve songs represent your 2024

january- guns and ships- hamilton (idek what this could represent but okay)

february- we fell in love in october- girl in red (PLEASE)

march- say no to this- hamilton (…i have nothing to say about this)

april- castles crumbling- taylor swift ft hayley williams (damnit sad month then?)

may- you’re losing me- taylor swift (FUCK TWO SAD MONTHS?? breakup songs are even worse now that im actually in a relationship. please. better not be accurate)

june- astronomy- conan gray (please stop why am i having so many sad songs)

july- stoned- ed sheeran (oh fuck this)

august- new year’s day- taylor swift (hm okay. idk what to say about this)

september- heather- conan gray (i consider heather to be a happy song AND it’s mine and my partners song so i’m taking this as a good one)

october- 18- one direction (yessss we’re going okay now)

november- king of my heart- taylor swift (YESSS)

december- all too well (ten minute version)- taylor swift (i take it back ugh)

no pressure tags!!- @autumnleavesforwinter @weeping-in-the-willows @swiftieannah @felizusnavidad @jittyjames @anixknowsnothin (please help me get this off the ground, but also if this flops you saw nothing)

[ectobiologistt]

[eggschiptune]

BRUH

[notbaek]

"Top 10 songs that you're vibing to" Tag

 No Mercy - Pvris

Cover Up - Taeyeon

Mint Chocolate - Seo In Guk

Afterglow - All Time Low

Sorry - Halsey

Beaten in Lip - Bearthooth 

Going Crazy - EXO

Underclass Hero - Sum 41

The Eve - EXO

Island - Winner

thanks for tagging me @mcminhyuk !!

I’ll tag  @bringmetheemobands, @666jin, @jxmin, @hwasa2fly, @sehunoh, @taemcin and @idkimmaturegirl

[mercysought]

FIRST MEETINGS MEME A meme for first meetings and introduction threads, aka a ‘What you will notice about my muse first’ cheat sheet. Repost, don’t reblog. Bold what applies. Fill in details.  (Please do not remove the credit + blank meme link)

tagged by: @mindsmade​ ( round twoooo ) tagging: steal thiis ✨

blank meme: x

MAXIMA AURUM

GENERAL APPEARANCE

Gender: cis woman.

Race: caucasian.

Complexion: light skin with some light brushes of freckles that are barely visible on her shoulders and cheeks. You really need to squint to see them though. A single blemish on the right cheek.

Height: 5′6′’ / ~168 cm.

Body Type: I think it’s probably a mix of Meso and Endomorph? She is shapely and that means that she has some more volume around her hip and tights area.

Body Build: ^^^^

Body Hair: she has what I would consider to be the average amount of body hair, light brown

Head Hair: light brown to auburn, always kept long past her shoulders and down her back. Naturally she has some tighter curls but usually has her hair kept with brushed waves that frame her face

Eye color: really dark green

Scars: some faded scars. One from getting stabbed as a teen in her abdomen which was healed to the point where is barely visible in verses where that is possible. Also very old faded burn scars around her wrist (from lightning magic as a child before she was able to control it)

FASHION

Fashion Style: purely classic. The theme will always be light colours in clothing (mainly white) with simple patterns that fit her shape. Gold jewellery, specifically rings and her locket. A cloak with gold embroidery where it makes sense. It is the sort of style that can be seen as simple but impactful, especially given how the way that she dresses is very much its own way of communication (from cuts to colours).

Color Palette: white, gold, dark green, red.

Typical Clothing: draped white silks with long sleeves (much like this)

Piercings: none beyond her earrings

Tattoos: I’ve written about this in the past. She only has three hand tattoos and all of them are script. I don’t use these really often outside of the dragon age verse.

Other Information: —

EXPRESSION

General Facial Expression: hmm I would say smiling, overall just a very open energy 

Default Body Language: maxima carries herself as a tower of a person (despite not being that tall). Gracious, open for dialogue, those two things are important as someone that works most of the time as either a diplomat or as an information broker. At the same time, I could totally see how her presence and way of dressing could be incredibly intimidating.

General Movements: you’ve never seen someone as gracious as her in your whole life. the trick is to make calculated movements seem as natural and part of her person as possible without letting anyone see that is part of the act, part of being in a public setting and knowing she is being perceived. 

NOTABLE FOR RP

Presence: in most verses where she is already in a position of power, Maxima carries herself as that: a lady, a ruler. She is the type of person that will walk in a room and everyone’s eyes will inevitably fall on her.

Appearance: maxima, while being naturally beautiful, has always gone above and beyond to make sure that she is the most stunning as she could be. From clothing, to her presence, to the way she talks. She will always have red lipstick and red nails, will have her hair brushed to perfection. It is clear that she cares about her looks, even in the most dire of circumstances (which speaks about her need for control)

Scent: flowers, roses if she’s been working on them or is wearing a real crown of roses on top of her hair. A light perfume.

Voice Description: I’m going with the descriptions that were given to me in one meme a while back by @cllgood​ (here) and @orphidian​ (here) which are exactly the sort of tone. Thank you both because it is wonderful ❤

Maxima’s voice has a sing-song melody to it, something light that can easily be mistaken for childlike and girlish –which she is absolutely aware of and uses to her advantage. - @cllgood​

he hears a sort of lower pitch, almost silky smooth and very pleasant to listen to. it’s soft in a way that doesn’t /translate/ as softness, more like something hard and sharp wrapped in soft velvet. there’s a smokiness there too that he finds intoxicating, like a sort of refined roughness that just flows so beautifully. - @orphidian​

Accent: depends on the verse and depends on the situation. Maxima can easily mimic accents that she’s familiar with. She has her native French (or Orlesian) but will usually use and lean more heavily in a Italian (or Tevinter) one instead. 

Speech Mannerisms: You will never hear her call anyone by the diminutive of a name (Krem instead of Cremisius, for example). She finds it demeaning, unless the person specifically asks to be called by the diminutive over their actual name. More often than not she won’t use contractions (’will not’ versus ‘won’t’). Nothing else really comes to mind!

Anything else to add? —

[side-writes-fanfics]

A little bit of fun || One-shot

Pairing: Fyodor Dostoevsky x fem!reader

Word count: ≈1400

Genre: fluff

Tw: cock blocking | risqué-ish | dom-sub relationship but not in an nsfw way

Summary: Fyo is a little bit needy, but (Y/N) was busy. So, he did the only reasonable thing to do and show her why not to ignore him, even if it's unintentionally.

ꕥ ꕥ ꕥ

A cold winter night was upon Yokohama and it's surrounding area. The hideout of The Decay of Angels was surrounded by snow that glistened in the moonlight. While the outside was freezing, inside the hideout was a warm temperature that kept the members warm. Most of them were asleep, needing rest to keep their energy up for the day coming up. A dimly lit room in the house stood out, being occupied by two people, trying to rest their minds and relax while they had the chance. They sat on the opposite sides of the room, doing their own thing. (Y/N) sat by a table, doodling and planning stuff for the week she would need to do before they had to move to another location while music was coming from her headphones. The music wasn't loud, but it was just enough to drown out the sounds of the world.

On the other side, Fyodor sat in an armchair with a book in his hand. It wasn't his favourite as he had to make do with the books they had here, not bringing any of his own for obvious reasons. He was comfortable in the armchair he was sitting in, finding the sweet spot we all wish to find, but the book he was reading just wasn't able to keep his attention. A disappointed sigh escaped from his lips as he putting the book down onto the coffee table before him. Fyodor rested his head onto his arm, gazing towards (Y/N)'s direction with a slight smile.

"Dear~" he cooed for his lover in a soft and loving tone, expecting her to turn towards him so he could see her beautiful face and stare at her lovely features once more. Yet, the (H/C) haired girl kept her back towards him, continuing to do whatever she was doing at that moment. "Looove~" he cooed once more, slightly louder, hoping she would be able to hear him this time. Still, the girl was focused on her work. The black-haired man was getting slightly annoyed, becoming needy for this girls attention. He stood up and walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist as best as he could and rested his head on the crook of (Y/N)'s neck. "Love~" Once again, the girl was too focused on her doodles and work, seemingly ignoring Fyodor. In reality, it was not on purpose, (Y/N) was just really focused on what she was doing and forgot the world around her existed. Fyodor, however, has lost all the patience he had at that moment. He took the headphones she had on her head off of her and turned the chair she was sitting in around so she would look at him.

She gave him a confused, standing up from the chair, before whisper-yelling: "What was that for!?" The man went to grab her hand, not wanting to give her a response, but (Y/N) pulled her hand away from him in a joking fashion. "Nuh-uh." she chuckled, taking a step away from him. Fyodor went into the grab her other hand but she quickly pulled that one away too. He continued to try and hold her hand, but (Y/N) just kept dodging his attempts to hold onto her. This small little exchange turning into a (Y/N) running around the room away from Fyodor while he was trying to get a grip on her. The girl was giggling like crazy while Fyodor kept calm, letting a small smile escape when he heard her giggles. This went on for about 5 minutes or so, the two of them running around the room in an adult version of tag(cause we all know that holding hands is something only adults do). Slowly, Fyodor was getting tired of chasing her around, both physically and mentally, so as soon as he managed to get some sort of grip on her hand, he forgot how to be gentle.

When (Y/N) felt a hand around her wrist, it wasn't long after before she was pinned to the wall, held there by her wrists. The man rested his forehead on his lovers, both catching a breath in this quiet moment. Their eyes were locked onto one another's and slowly, their breathing became synced as well.

"Honey?" Fyodor said through his breaths. The grip he had on (Y/N) loosened slightly, but she couldn't move away from him. Her whole body was completely stunned by his actions that she couldn't even make a noise. He lifted both her hands up, grasping them with one hand. "Honey, don't ignore me." the free hand he had cupped her cheek while a smirk formed on his lips. It was cocky, with a slight hint of evil in it that (Y/N) couldn't help but love.

Before the girl knew, his lips were being pressed onto hers and she melted in to it right away. His kiss was dominant, taking the lead over everything to control as much as he could. The grip he had on (Y/N)'s wrists losened, letting her move her hands to wrap around his neck. She jumped up onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist which surprised him but he managed to catch her so she didn't fall. Fyodor pressed their bodies close to each other, using the wall the girl was slammed into only moments before. The kiss started getting more and more passionate by the second. They were in perfect sync, knowing each other's next movement like no one else. Fyodor bites (Y/N)'s bottom lip, teasing her as much as he could. He loved seeing her this way. An absolute sub that loves his dominant nature to her core.

"Hey Dos-kun! When do you think this thiiing-" both of their heads snap to the door, seeing who interrupted this... moment they were having. Of course, Gogol, the amazing cock block clown who doesn't know how to knock on the door. "Uh... I guess I'm not supposed to be here, huh?" he managed to spit out, fearing Fyodor will kill him for interrupting them. Sweat began to form on his forehead as deadly silance filled the room. Quickly, when (Y/N) realised the tone of the room she let out a sigh and placed herself on the floor once more. She parted from Fyodor, turning her attention fully to Gogol.

"Nikolai, dear, how important is this question?" she questioned the man calmly, feeling Fyodor's glare towards Gogol turn even more sour than it was before once he head the word 'dear'. (Y/N) called both Gogol and Sigma that, seeing them more as children or younger brothers she cares deeply about compared to what she felt towards Fyodor. He knew this, but jealousy's a bitch and boy can he not control it. Gogol shook his head 'no' to (Y/N)'s question, fearing his boss even more. "Can you save it for tomorrow then? I'm sure you'll remember still. Go get some rest now, don't leave Sigma alone either, you know how he can get." the (H/C) haired girl leaned on the door slightly, flashing a smile to him as he nodded to her.

"Thank you for saving my life, (Y/N)." he whispered to her quietly before he turned away from the door. "Good night (Y/N). Night Dos-kun. See you tomorrow hopefully..." As Gogol walked away from the room the two resided in, (Y/N) closed the door, letting out a sigh once it was fully closed.

Fyodor walked to (Y/N), wrapping his hands around her waist once more. "Mine." he quietly said to himself, knowing full well she could hear him. A smile snuck onto (Y/N)'s face from his actions, but her body was drained of any energy.

"Honey... Can we just sleep please?" (Y/N) begged, knowing full well she couldn't take any more action at this point in time. She didn't even wait for a response, her body started waddling towards the bed. With the way Fyodor held her, he had no other choice than to waddle behind her and lay in bed with her. While (Y/N) just fell asleep instantly, Fyo took this time to cuddle in to her back, craving more attention but not wanting a grumpy gremlin with the fury of a thousand suns. He slowly drifted off to sleep as well, not moving a muscle for the entire night.

ꕥ ꕥ ꕥ

Feel free to leave requests in my asks!

Masterpost

[flyhighaangle]

HELP ME LROD loooking at the nirvana iniative trialelrs annd saying everything i can notice ^_^ EVREYTHING BELOW CUT !!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE SPOILERS ?@?@? thiis is part ONE !!!!!!! the post will be soooo lgong otherwise LHELPEHLPLP

0 : 00 - first case of the game . takes place in a multipurpose staduim ... thiis is in the present !!! ^_^ annd its snowing at night !!!!!! this is where the other half of the body found at the quiz show is discovered , posssibly by mizuki . the victim is wearing dark pants and white loafers . this is all we see of them in this scene

0 : 22 - at the tag team quiz show . the body has just exploded , and the company hosting it is amabie tv . this takes place in the past before the events of nirvana iniative the amabie is a youkai thatt appears fromm the sea annd gives signs of either a harvest or an epidemic !!!! peopele prayed to it during the start of covid to appease it ^_^ amames name also comes from it !!!! it looks like theres 2 guards here . lookging at evidence from later in the trailer , we can see that they are inspecting the body , as tehre was a long enough window of time from when the body was found to when it exploded . it most likely detonated in the midddle of the investigation ........ why ?? was it remotely detonated to remove evidence ??? annd the bomb must have been placed in the body after it was cut in half ............

0 : 24 - at the quiz show approx 6 years ago . iris is only shown to be alive during flashbacks ........ she clutches her head in pain after the explosion !!!!! it coucld be because of hwow loud it is (auitsm ....... ) or the stress of seeeing half of a dead body when she wannted to go to a fun outing with mizuki ......... i tihnk it could be both the lit up red tape shows that the investigation is already underway once the body explodes , and inthe cuts to other characters , you can see that this scene is most likely happening directly after the explosion . boss is shielding her face with her arm , and ryuki loooks enraged or in pain <- imm autistic readinng faces cann sometimes be trikcy ^_^ i tihnk he blames himself , since I HEARD SOMEWHERE THATT HE USED HIS X RAY VISION ANND COUDLD SEE THE BOMB !!!!!! he kwnw it was there , annd ive heard he points it otut too SO DO YOU TINK THE CULPRIT EXPLODED IT ONCE THEYY REALIZED RYUKI KNEW ?!?@ pattern on the floooring is the same annd the cameras are stilll there so im sure this is sitll the quiz show THE LIGHTS ARE OTUT TOO !!!!!!!! did it ahpppen before the detonation or during it ?? did someoene take the power out and tamper with the body and evidence in the dark ??

0 : 29 - THE INTERROGATION ROOM !!!!!!!!!!! HELPHLPHELPPL I DIDN TKWNOW THERE WAS A COMPUTER ?!?@? i msut have missed it ^_^ it loooks leike its shwoing secutiry feed of a hallwy ......... the camera in the midddle of the frame loooks leike the same model + the wall textures are the same + the piping loooks similar so i think this is either the interrogation toom or someplace very siilar ^_^

0 : 30 - mizuki walking into the stadium in the present . or : the scene of the first recent crime of the halfbody serial killlings ^_^ LHELPHELPHELPPL THIIS IS SITLL THE SAME SCENE AS THE VERY FIRST OENE !!!! AT 0 : 00 !!!!!!! its sitll snowing and at night so it loooks leike the very same one ........... hwow would someone have discovered a body in a stadium at night while its snowing ?? was someoene going to train there ??? is it to frame someoene ???

0 : 31 - eyeballs half red annd half blue eyeballs ..... a scene from the fray to free video !!!! ^_^ (timestmappped relevent part) the video was found by @jolo_aitsf on twittter when they recreated a qr code shown in a famitsu magazine !!!! so cool !!!!!!! ^_^

0 : 32 - another scene from fray to free !!!!! it flickers betweeen this oene annd the previous image a bit a high contrast nearly all black and white closeup of a person with what loooks leike a hole in the left side of their face ....... it loooksleike it coudld be caused by a gun shot !!!!! OMMG OR ITS DATES EYEAPTCH !!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ it doesnt loook elike date though .........

0 : 33 - RYUUKI ENTERING A DARK ROOM !!!!!1 i brightened it a bit so oyu cann see !!!! ^_^ the door is already open , and it loooks leike hes about to press his back against the wall to his left to check for danger ......... he coduld be investigating or sneaking in somewhere maybe he is ntot assigned to thiis case annd it is doding it beacuse it it is very important to him that it gets solved !!!!!!!

0 : 34 - OMMG GOGOGOO MIZUKI !!!!!!!!!! A GUN WE HAVENNT SEEN BEFORE !!!! its glwoing the same neon turquiose as her upgraded metal pipe ^_^ it doesnt loook leike an evolver ......... do yu think she can fire two bullets at once beacsue of the double barrel ?? this loooks like the interrogation r oom again (loook at the camera at the top left !!!!! ^_^) OKOOKOO AFTER LOOOKING OVER THE VIDEO A BIT MORE ITS A NEW AREA !!!!!!!!

HEPLHLPEHLPHELPP HLEP ME LORD THATTS THE IMAGE LIMIT ALREADYY !!!!!!!!!!!! OKOKOKO makkking a part two ^_^ illl link it at the top once its done !!!

[azems-familiar]

I posted 7,638 times in 2021

311 posts created (4%)

7327 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 23.6 posts.

I added 1,344 tags in 2021

#kotor - 320 posts

#swtor - 273 posts

#darth revan - 236 posts

#asked and answered - 105 posts

#ramblings - 76 posts

#revalek - 73 posts

#discord shenanigans - 72 posts

#kotor 2 - 66 posts

#ask me thiiings - 65 posts

#lotr - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#jedi are allowed to love! they're even i would say allowed relationships! but their first and most central commitment must be to the order

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

semi-coherent ramble on the tragedy of the mandalorian wars

okay but actually the Mandalorian Wars are a tragedy massively in part because there are no right answers! like, the Council was afraid to go to war because they sensed an outside influence and were afraid going to war would just make things worse. and they were right! and Revan was so determined to go to war because people were dying and the Republic was in danger and what are Jedi if not selfless and compassionate and determined to protect the innocent and save lives? and what are Jedi if they turn their back on the oaths they swear when they’re knighted?

and she was right too! because without her the Republic would’ve fallen and the Mandalorians aren’t an expansionist empire, they weren’t looking to conquer so they could rule, they wanted to conquer for the sake of conquering, they would’ve burned the galaxy to ash just to prove that they could, and then the reconstituted Sith Empire would’ve swept in and taken everything and the Jedi would’ve died and the Republic would’ve died - because the Jedi High Council was right. Vitiate was out there orchestrating the war for his own gains and there wasn’t a single right answer.

in going to war Revan saved the Republic but she also brought about the downfall of herself and so many other Jedi and she nearly destroyed the Republic she gave up so much to save, and there is never any other way it could go.

because Revan goes to war because of her strengths - her compassion and her sense of justice and her determination and her righteousness and her selflessness, because there is selflessness there, there is, compassion is inherently selfless even if it’s hard to recognize. she goes to war and she takes the weight of the galaxy onto her shoulders because there is no one else who can do it and it’s her strengths that led her there but it’s her flaws that make it so she can’t let go. her savior complex, her pride, her arrogance - there is no one else who can do it and so she makes herself into what the galaxy needs (a savior, a mask, a legend, a hero) and that pride, that savior complex, it won’t let her admit that she’s struggling and that she’s losing herself in it all.

(and so she becomes both more and less than a person, and people are not meant to be concepts, be abstracts, but by all the gods in the galaxy Revan will make herself one if it kills her (and it will, it will) because that’s what the Republic needs, and she clings to Alek because he’s the one thing, the one person, that keeps her steady and grounded. until he’s not enough anymore, because she turns herself into the mask and the legend so successfully she doesn’t know who to be without it and this is always what the Jedi Council has been afraid of, the Jedi who was the best of them all turning into a warrior and not knowing how to be without a war to fight)

the war is always, always going to end at Malachor V, because the Exile is loyal unto death (loyal until the order that tears her apart because she hasn’t made herself into something so much more and less like Revan has and how can (only) a person survive the horror that is Malachor?), and Revan will always ask, because sacrifices are necessary in war and it’s for the greater good and it will save the Republic and Revan doesn’t know, anymore, how to let anyone else be the savior. so the war ends but it doesn’t really, nothing ends, nothing’s over, because there will always be those echoes and no one knows how to escape them.

and Revan and Alek and the Exile, they were the best of the Order, they were bright and strong and good, and the war swallowed them whole and shattered them into pieces and crushed them under the weight of so many expectations and desperate souls and in the end they cannot say no because it’s a rigged game.

they were always meant to fall.

the Republic won, but it lost, too.

and no matter what choice the Jedi Council made, it was wrong.

132 notes • Posted 2021-04-14 06:48:42 GMT

#4

crossing fingers for non-gender locked Bastila and Carth romances, a character creator, dare i hope for a Canderous romance, expansion on Juhani's romance.......

140 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 23:42:47 GMT

#3

@mossycorvidae made this at my request after a conversation on the hell discord server.

dilf marr propaganda? dilf marr propaganda

162 notes • Posted 2021-10-15 23:01:20 GMT

#2

so i commissioned the absolutely incredible @stellorc to draw my Revan during her Sith years for me and i am losing my mind at the result! she looks so amazing, the lighting and textures are gorgeous, her hair and the scar and her armor....... i am very aaaaa over this!!!

394 notes • Posted 2021-09-24 01:35:55 GMT

#1

960 notes • Posted 2021-03-04 23:37:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[glmfic]

hi!!! I love your fic (ghost hunters, lies & money) so so much!! oh and for the ask game, 🧑💎💡📒🎤 please. have a lovely day/night!

An ask? Aww, thank yoooou!!! :D

favorite character to write

Ooooh, good question! I love writing each member of our SPR team for different reasons, buuut... if I *had* to pick...I think I have the most fun writing Bou-san? He's just so spontaneous! His antics and wise cracks are just such a joy to incorporate into a scene. I feel like he springs to life in my head, and I'm just along for the ride. But then there's a side of him that's so passionate, and caring, and gentle...in case you can't tell, his dynamic with Mai is one of my very favorites to write <3 Ah, I have so much love for our Monk :)

fave trope to write

Ho ho ho, I'm a trope queen. You'll probably see them weaved all through my writing I hope you like tropes loool :D Picking one to rise above them all? Partners (work/school) to lovers. That “mutual pining” vibe is my thiiing. You know, they see each other everyday in a very ordinary way (or in some cases in very intense situations, like say...life or death ghost hunting? ^_^) and slowly grow accustom to each other, learn their likes/dislikes, their quirks...accepting them (you know you gotta work to make the partnership work right?), until they don't just accept them...they loooove them <3 They live in this “some” state: something is going on, but it's so quiet or fragile they don't name it. They just keep letting grow, and things like no-personal-space and “casual” touching start to happen. Oh wow. I could go on and on. But yes, partners to lovers. That's my ultimate trope I think! I mean: Mairu anyone? ;)

what inspires your fic ideas?

Oh gosh, I don't think I've ever been asked this? Good one! Let me think...well, inspiration alone can be very hard to come by. I have to say the reason my GLM chapters get put out is 90% because my readers inspire me to keep going, and when I'm in that “inspired” state...the ideas just seem to start flowing? It's so very hard-- for me at least-- to write without some sort of inspiration, either from my readers, or from the content it's self. That kind of leads me to the more conventional answer to this question: usually my ideas are inspired from the content I'm writing for. I love writing missing scenes or alternate scenes from canon-- especially in giving them a shippy angle/twist :) I love re-imagining whole storylines, or endings. I am a fix-it-fic kind of girl. Like make it as bad you want: I will make it better. With content I love, I always feel like the characters are living their lives behind the scenes...like there's always so much else to explore? Like canon is just a spring board-- and I'm ready to dive in deeper! That's why the style of GLM is like it is: it's a new “episode” to enjoy, a new case! I actually have many plot bunnies kicking around that are similar to GLM, more Ghost Hunt case fics-- I just love playing with “what if”...what if things had continued-- what would that look like for SPR? And of course, you can count on *my* what ifs always including shippy prospects :D Finally, inspiration for certain scenes, tropes, quotes, storylines, characters, ect... often those come from my consumption of all the swoony media I can get my hands on. Kdramas. Rom-com movies. Jane Austen. I'm a hopeless romantic.

any fics planned?

The short answer: yes! :D As I hinted above, I do have some plot bunnies that have been “haunting” (hahaha) me. They're Ghost Hunt plot bunnies, mostly case-fic that would be multi-chapter projects. But some shippy one-shots have also been winking at me, teasing me to write them (Mairu, Bou-san x Ayako, John x Masako *gasps*, Lin x Madoka). I have a document that I use to collect all my ideas, so that I can go back to them. For now, I'm trying to stay loyal to GLM. I write so slow, I'm afraid if I took some of that time to churn out one-shots...I may never get a new chapter out XD But anywho, yes I definitely have other fics planned. I hope once GLM is finished, you might continue with me on new writing adventures with our SPR team <3

fave line in a fic you wrote?

I'm blushing. I don't think I could pick a line? But I do have favorite scenes! Mainly Mairu ones, but some of those Mai and Bou-san ones...oh my gosh, I even crack myself up XD I'll round up some of my top faves for you:

Mai and Naru at the end of chapter 23. All that Mairu goodness after the “blood rain”, standing at the sink together...face-to-face arguing out of worry...oh,yeah. [chef's kiss]

Mai and Bou-san in chapter 11 & 12. Chicken and apples, need I say more? looool

Mai and Naru at the end of chapter 19 after Wise Obasan has locked them in Miss Miyuki's cellar...and Naru carries Mai out of the house (in front of the whole world!!), all the way to the Inn, and tops it off with admitting he gave Mai his moon lily. Dang. [fans self]

Naru's return in chapter 27. After such a long wait, he shows up at the end of chapter all disheveled and hot and like steals Mai's tea (indirect kiss!!) and then he and Mai have it out in the hall (just kiss already) and finally it looks like he's going to kiss her but oops he's actually fainting...

Ayako & Bou-san taking care of Mai while she was sick in chapter 20, oh gosh it always warms my heart I just love their family dynamic <333

Okay: throwing in a John!Masako moment here, but it really is one of my favorites. It's subtle, because of course, but also in chapter 23, the moment where John so gallantly throws himself over Masako during the “blood rain”, protecting her. Awwww!

More recently, the scene at the end of chapter 30 where Naru walks in on Mai's “séance” with Madame Miyuki. The intensity!! The english!! Oh maaan.

And finally, naturally-- the scene in chapter 31 where Naru nearly makes Mai flip out when he offers to “take it off” but haha it's just the tag on her dress, but then it's sad hours and Mai is crying, but don't worry because Naru wipes them away?! Ahhh the tenderness!!

Goodness wow I went overboard, but really just thank you for this ask! Your love and support means so much to me!! Really!!

[pharawee]

highlight what you like or what applies to you

tagged by @piningintrovert​ - a very belated thank you so much! 💜

hot shower or cold shower // texting calling or email // earbuds or headphones // paperback hardcover or ebook // matte or gel (?? ???) // 12 hour clock or 24 hour clock // blue or green // sunsets or sunrises // tulips or orchids (I love plants but not these plants lmao) // candle light or moonlight // sci-fi or horror // pen or pencil // pandas or koalas // gold or silver // sneakers or boots // denim jacket or leather jacket // pink or purple // chocolate or sour candy (I can’t eat chocolate 😭) // deodorant or perfume // drive-in movie theater or the cinema // pastel colors or neutral earth tones // lemonade or fruit juice // past or future (the present for mindfulness brownie points) //

bl version — by @absolutebl

crying in the shower or making out in the shower // give cute boy line ID or stalk his IG // share his earbuds or share his closet // manga or manwha (I tried, it’s not for me, but I love Thai novel translations) // long dangly silver earring or dark leather cuff // time loop (this is me recommending TRIAGE) or reincarnation // blue engineering smock or red engineering smock  // kisses at the beach or kisses in the mountains // cactus or chili plant // fairy lights or spot lighting // ghost boyfriend or vampire lover (we need this so bad in a Thai BL -  there’s only so many times I can rewatch Red Wine in the Dark Night) // hard sub or soft sub // stray cat or … actually that’s your only option (!!!) // Hawaiian shirt or blue shorts // evil ex-girlfriend or predatory fujoshi supportive female characters (🤡) // suit jacket or leather jacket (no no no, what we need is a bl with both) // high school or university // kitchen drama or office drama (bc all the office dramas I’ve watched so far have been subpar) // forehead kisses or cheek kisses // Viki or GaGaOOLaLa (uhmmm I might be paying for both and also aisplay send help)  // Japanese arthouse depth or Korean high concept  (laughs in Thai bl) // pink milk or yakult (ok so I’m actually on my 2nd bottle of sala syrup but I only drink it with water tbh) // censored Chinese BL or trashy Thai pulps (this surprises exactly no one) // body swap or dead body (am I the only one who loves that trope 😭) // sexy or story (story with sexy on the side pls)) // back hugs or lap sitting  (why not both??) // piggybacks or cradle carry

tagging @cytharat @thii-nii @icouldhyperfixatehim @desification @combeferret @lutawolf and anyone else who feels like doing this ♥

[damienthepious]

choo choo the tuesday train is off the fucking rails again. today we discuss a lizard kiss and alas, no one dances this time.

Even With Missteps (chapter 4)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ao3] [?????]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Lord Arum/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, (other characters mentioned)

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Dancing, Costume Parties & Masquerades

Summary:  There is a masquerade ball in the Citadel tonight. Every knight and citizen has turned out, and all of them bear disguises of monstrosity. What better time could there be, for a monster who needs to find a way inside?

Chapter Summary They agreed to determine the terms of their "duel" outside. There is quite a lot to sort out, in that determination.

Chapter Notes: a) i don't know what the fuhuck is happening anymore and i continue to be terrified that this has yeeted itself WILDLY out of character but HWAT CAN YOU DO b) this feels like a messssssss c) i might come back and edit it when Better Brain? but for now this i guess d) oops! all dialogue, basically e) i'm so stressed out i hope anyone enjoys thiis lmao

~

The night air is cool and clear, and after the oppressive closeness of the ballroom it hits Arum's lungs like a knife, shocking and sobering.

"Well, Sir Damien?" he asks blankly, his gaze aimed carefully away from the pair of them. "Shall we discuss the terms of our duel, now?"

"Why are you not- running? I was certain that the moment we were free of the ballroom you would-"

"Present my back for you to plant your arrows in?" Arum hisses, wrinkling his snout beneath his mask. "Hardly."

"I-" Damien sputters, cheeks darkening. "I would never conduct myself so dishonorably-"

"If I attempted to run for my life in that ballroom, you are claiming that you would not have shot me?" Arum says with a sneer, crossing his unhidden arms over his chest.

"I- I-" the knight pauses, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he sighs. "I do not know what I would have done, in truth. I was terrified. Terrified to see-" he cuts himself off again, glancing towards Rilla.

"Sorry, am I a part of this conversation now?" she asks, frowning and raising an eyebrow.

"Rilla," Damien breathes, his voice achingly gentle, and Arum's stomach twists. "I am so glad that you are safe, oh, my flower-"

"We've talked about this, Damien, I can take care of myself, and jealousy is a nasty look on you-"

Arum barks a laugh he cannot help, and then he waves a hand in the air as if to banish the thought. "The pretty little knight is not jealous of me, little phoenix," he manages with a derisive snort. "He thought I would hurt you. A reasonable fear, considering."

"Considering what, exactly? It's not like I let one of the journeymen spin me around and step on my feet for a whole song or something. You aren't from around here, but what the hell does that matter? I'm the exiled fucking herbalist, I don't really care about ruining my reputation by dancing with a foreigner. You were a perfect gentleman until Damien decided to make an ass-"

Arum's spine stiffens, his hackles raising beneath his disguise as he compulsively hisses. Amaryllis seems to take this as a signal of some sort, because she lets her voice trail off, tilting her head in a question.

"We have an audience," Arum growls, and then he jerks his head subtly to the side, indicating the loudly whispering crowd hovering on the balcony above and behind him. "I would prefer not to hold a conversation this delicate under such absurd scrutiny."

"If we do not have this conversation now, I imagine that we never will," Damien says, sounding stiff and flat with one hand still clutched around his bow. "They are distant enough that they will only be able to hear us if we shout, so provided you can hold your tongue-"

Arum gives another short, helpless laugh.

"... we will not be overheard."

"This," Arum growls, "is absolutely ludicrous, in all aspects. What now, honeysuckle? Do we pretend to fight, or did you have some other brilliant excuse for our behavior all lined up?"

"Pretend?" Amaryllis asks with a raised brow. "So that was all acting, in there?"

"Not... all," Damien says, visibly uncomfortable.

"If I wanted to fight him, I would have done so upstairs," Arum spits irritably, and then he winces at his own words. "Rather-"

Amaryllis presses a hand over her mouth, then something between realization and delight crosses her face. "You- you were the intruder? Okay, alright, what the fuck." She shakes her head, waving both hands in front of herself as if to physically clear the air. "This is- a lot. Do either of you want to actually explain what the hell all that was? You went from actually furious to pretending to be furious in about four seconds and I still don't know why."

"No," Arum hisses, looking away, and he sees Damien look the opposite direction out of the corner of his eye.

"It- the situation- it is rather complicated, my flower-"

"It is not," Arum insists, scowling.

"Wow," she says, pursing her lips. "You are much more irritable when you aren't dancing."

"Imagine my utter shock to find that I miss your ridiculous human prancing, if this conversation is the alternative."

"Well, I wouldn't be opposed to more dancing, Arum. Especially since it seemed like you were having just as much fun with it as-" she pauses mid-word, blinks, and then she says, "... human?"

Arum flinches. If the motion at the edge of his vision is an indication, Damien does as well.

"You said that earlier, too- I thought it was just a bad joke, but-"

"Oh, you know perfectly well, little phoenix. You knew something was wrong with me, you were opening your mouth to question me about it when your knight began yelling for you." Arum stands straighter, taller, more stiffly, and hisses low enough that he knows that his words will not carry beyond their little circle. "I am not human."

Amaryllis looks at Damien, first, clearly concerned, and then her expression shifts to confusion when Damien does not react except to stare down miserably at his own feet. She scans Arum, her eyes raking over his body, stopping to study his hands, the shape of his feet, his "false" tail, and then she looks to Damien again.

"And you- Saints, you knew that. And you aren't- you aren't jumping to kill him?"

Damien presses his lips together very, very tightly, and looks away. "Well- I... I did, but-"

"But you stopped."

Damien bites his own lip hard, then nods. "I did."

"Don't pat yourself on the back too hard, honeysuckle."

"No, no," she says quickly, and her tone is theoretically light, but Arum can hear a stunned sort of vagueness beneath it. "That's- that's pretty fucking unexpected, actually. Back-patting probably justified."

The laugh chokes out of Arum, and Damien laughs as well, looking just as shocked about it as Arum feels.

"Why are you so unconcerned, then?" he grumbles. "I certainly don't understand him, either, but that doesn't mean I have the flimsiest idea why you are not screaming right now, little phoenix."

"What are you doing here?" she says instead, ignoring his concerns. "I can't think of a more dangerous place for a monster to be-"

Arum snorts, folding his arms over his chest. "I certainly wouldn't be if I had a choice. This entire evening has been teetering on the knife's edge of disaster and I would rather be safe at home working, but-"

"So," Amaryllis says insistently, "what are you doing here?"

"I already told you," he snarls, looking aside.

"A job?" she asks incredulously, and Damien's face splits into confusion. "I figured that was just-"

"A job I am regretting more and more by the moment. If I had any other choice-"

"You said something like that inside, too," she says, and Arum blinks. "Something you gotta do so you can go home and take care of your family. Right?"

"That," Arum says stiffly, "is none of your concern. My business, my lands, my home- my commitments are not yours to interrogate."

"Well," she says dryly, "if you didn't want to keep talking to us, nothing's stopping you from just bowing out now, Arum."

She pauses, pointed, staring at him with her arms crossed over her chest, imperious in her flame-shaded costume, and Arum clenches his jaw, because-

Yes, he may leave, now. He may retreat from the strange confluence of luck and disaster of this event, this evening. He may slink back to his Keep, but-

When he leaves the glow of the human Citadel, he will be left alone in the dark with only the knowledge of his encroaching doom to accompany him home. The Senate will not forgive his failure to bind his prototype to the Queen. Moreso, they will not forgive his survival of his failure.

Arum's refusal to destroy Sir Damien when he had the chance may have sealed his own death as surely as if Damien had loosed that arrow regardless. This middling path of mercy will careen into consequences, when the sun rises again, when light shines on Arum's choices. Arum should have killed Damien and claimed his prize, or Arum should have died.

(He tries not to think about the prize Damien claimed from him, instead.)

Arum drops Amaryllis' gaze.

"It does not matter," he says. "My business here is-" he meets Damien's eyes without meaning to, then lowers his eyes again. "It is over. Perhaps you are right. I- if the knight does not intend to destroy me the moment my back is turned-"

"I would not," Damien insists. "What are you?" he asks, and Arum blinks in confusion before he continues. "What manner of beast- what sort of creature are you, that you refuse to fight?"

"A pragmatic one," Arum snaps, half-believing it. "I do not fear a fight, but I will not throw myself upon the arrow."

"A pragmatic monster would have slit my throat when I was foolish enough to let you take me in your arms again! Would have killed me when there would be no one to see, no one to stop you! A monster- any sort of monster- what manner of beast are you that would spend such effort to- to seduce me, to charm me with clever words and gentle embrace and the murmur of song- what monstrous enchantment did you intend to work upon me?"

"Oh- my seduction?" Arum says, stunned to incredulousness again. "My enchantments? As if your conflict is my fault, of course- I can imagine well enough the sorts of excuses you wish to conjure, the fabricated idea of some sort of- of poison upon my lips, some curse I've passed to you-"

"You did not taste like poison," Damien whispers, and Arum's throat tightens too much for words.

Arum remembers Amaryllis beside them, and Damien seems to come to the same memory at the same moment, his eyes darting to his fiance, watching them both with her eyebrow raised.

"Taste, huh?"

"Fear not for your claim," Arum says quickly. "Certainly he would not have requested a kiss had he known what I am."

"Requested?" she asks, her tone baffled but not angry, and Damien's cheeks flush far too dark as he shakes his head furiously.

"I- I- regardless, regardless I simply don't understand why you did not leave," Damien says pleadingly. "You could have escaped, we need not have seen each other again-"

"He was leaving, Damien," Amaryllis says smoothly, though the look on her face makes it rather obvious that she's allowing him to shift the subject. "But I wanted to have a chat and a dance and I didn't really give him much of a choice in the matter."

Arum scowls, irritated by the implication that he could not have done as he pleased to leave on his own terms, but-

Well. He cannot exactly claim that her description of the events is inaccurate.

"We were heading for the exit when you saw us," she continues. "It probably wouldn't have done him any good to make a fuss at the door, considering. You did that, Damien."

"Alright," Damien says, shaking his head. "Very well, I- I know that... that my Rilla is rather... undeniable, when she decides upon a course of action."

Arum swallows, looking away, unwilling to agree with words.

"But that does not explain- you did not move when I- when I saw you. You knew I could kill you. You knew it was my duty to kill you." Damien stares up at him, his brow furrowed as his eyes dart between Arum's own. "Why did you not fight back? Why did you say- why did you call me- why did you ask me to-"

"Because I was certain I was about to die," Arum snaps, "and I wished for my final words to be honest ones."

"Why not defend yourself?"

Arum stares at Damien, a growl rising in his chest, holding his tail so carefully stiff so it does not thrash as it wishes to with the force of his frustration. "How many knights would you estimate were in that ballroom, Sir Damien?" he asks, his voice controlled despite the undercurrent of fury, and Damien's expression falls. "What good would it have done, if I had harmed her? Harmed you? There was only one creature in that room that could have saved my life in that moment, and that creature was not me. Could I have brought either of you down with me? Almost certainly. It would not have saved me. It would not have done anything but shatter more of this world for the sake of this ridiculous war." Arum sneers, breathless and flexing his claws. "What of you, knight? You knew what I am. You knew that I could kill her- kill you. Why did you not slay me?"

Damien swallows, his own hands flexing on his bow again, and then he-

He stows his bow away on his back, and he presses his hand over his heart.

"Because... because you asked me to forgive you," Damien says softly, and Arum winces, and then looks away. "An obfuscated apology, but... an apology nonetheless. An indication of guilt, or- acknowledgment of a mistake, at the very least, and- and-"

He lifts his eyes, catches Arum's helpless gaze with his own, and it feels like the pull of tides, both natural and undeniable.

"Honeysuckle..."

"You are unlike any monster I have ever known. There is something- something human in your eyes."

"You-" Arum's heart skips oddly, and he tries to laugh to obscure how pinned he feels. "You do not know me," he manages, his voice rough. "You- you have only convinced yourself of my humanity because that is what you believed me to be when we met."

Arum stalks stiffly around the pair of them, maneuvering so his back is to the slowly thinning crowd on the balcony.

"Do not fool yourself," he says, and then he raises his hands to lift his mask. "I am very much a monster, and when you are done pretending to be this little basilisk, when the monstrousness fades from your own eyes, I will still be myself."

"Oh," Amaryllis says, and when Arum flicks his eyes towards her she looks- unafraid. Her eyes are bright, curious, and Arum stiffens as she steps a little closer. "Damn, that's- that's so clever, though! And your horns- just sticking up through the back? Saints that's clever, I bet they didn't even look twice when you came in-"

Arum's frill shivers at his neck, the wash of confused smugness and embarrassment mixing in his guts. "Of course they didn't. Little fools believe they may make costume of my kind and yet they cannot recognize us in truth."

"And the tail," she says, her voice raising in delight, and when she leans to get a better look she reaches a hand to touch his elbow, and he hisses, skipping back a step. She pauses, her expression calm and- almost indulgent, and then she drops her hand. "You had me in your arms back inside the party, Arum. I'm not going to hurt you."

Arum exhales a stunned, incredulous laugh. "You- you hurt me? Of all the absurd-"

"Arum," she says, and now the indulgence is clear in her smile. "Why would I be afraid of you?"

"Because," Arum snarls, and then he remembers their audience in time to lower his voice again, "I am a monster, you reckless little fool. Because we are enemies. Because I could kill you as easily as this."

He moves, quicker than he should, perhaps, lifting a hand to grip her throat-

(He does not think about how he keeps his claws away from her skin, how he does not squeeze. He does not think about the heat of her pulse, the rhythm against his palm. He does not think about the way his stomach twists as Sir Damien tenses in his periphery.)

Amaryllis blinks, surprised by his speed if nothing else, but then her smile returns, undaunted.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," she says, lifting her own hand towards his own, "but I'm pretty used to hanging around dangerous people."

"I-" Arum exhales, almost a laugh. "I'm not-"

"The gloves are a nice touch," she says, and Arum shivers helplessly when she runs her palm down the back of his hand, still smiling. "Elegant and practical."

He pulls his hand back quickly, still careful of his claws, his scales tingling in the aftermath of her touch as he curls his fist against his own chest instead.

"Stop- stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

Like she wishes to take him apart, or eat him up. He swallows.

"Stop," he repeats. "This is nonsense. Madness. We are at war, you cannot pretend-"

"You apparently had the choice tonight to kill my fiance, or to not kill him," she says, her voice shedding the playfulness, going precise and pointed. "And apparently in that pretty binary choice you decided on the third option, which was to make out with him."

"That-" Arum sputters, and Damien beside them buries his face in his hands, making a pained noise. "That is not- accurate, you can hardly call one single-"

"And you still aren't running," she muses, tilting her head. "Why? Why stick around?"

"Because," he spits, "I have failed thoroughly enough that I cannot say what fate I will cast myself into when I return home. Because I do not know how to leave, knowing that this-" he gestures viciously towards Damien, who has only just unburied his face from his hands, and his eyes widen, "creature chose to defend me rather than destroy me twice and I do not know why. I refuse to take your pity if that is what it is, honeysuckle. I despise your mercy. Am I supposed to be content to walk away, owing you my life, burdened by that debt?"

"I- I simply could not- I could not kill you," Damien says weakly, his distress a nearly palpable crackle of electricity around him. "I could not kill you- I- I could not- it felt- all I could think was-"

"Your duty?" Arum sneers.

"Your mouth upon mine," Damien whispers, and Arum's next complaint dies on his tongue. "Your eyes in the dark. Your humor, your charm, your- your attitude, sharp as a blade, and- and the idea of snuffing that light- of killing you or revealing you and watching the room descend upon you, the violence of a mob- of destroying you before I understood- who you are, what you are- how you could be so different from- how you could be a monster, how you could speak to the heart of me like a man- and yet-"

"Breathe, Damien," Amaryllis says quietly, leaning to press a hand to Damien's arm, and he obeys, closing his eyes as he inhales sharply, and then his exhale comes more calm.

"I- I understand monsterkind, their threat, their evil-" he pauses, winces. "I thought- I thought that I did, but you- you are different. How could I kill you? How could I- how could I destroy a monster who is so unlike everything I have been taught? Who is so- so unlike every evil creature which lurks in shadow and despair? How could a monster hold me, charm me, warm me-"

"Nonsense," Arum hisses, his heart racing. "I've heard enough of this. I- your little phoenix is correct, there is no reason for me not to- to leave. Plant your arrows where you will, it makes no difference to me if I die by your hand or by-" that of the Senate. "By whatever other fate the Universe intends for me."

Arum pulls his mask back down, gives the slightest, stiffest of mocking little bows, and then he turns with his cape billowing in his wake to stalk back into the shadows of the city, where he can disappear back to his Keep and nurse his failure in privacy.

"Aw, coward!"

Arum freezes at the distant shouting voice, glancing over his shoulder just enough to see- yes, of course, the fools on the balcony haven't yet dispersed entirely. He had been hoping, when the three of them failed to provide entertainment-

"Knock him out, Sir Damien!"

Another voice, this time, followed by a series of encouraging jeers, and Amaryllis slaps an exasperated hand to her face as Sir Damien's cheeks darken. Arum considers them for another moment, considers the crowd of fools above them, and then turns away again.

The jeers redouble in volume and vehemence, and Arum's shoulders stiffen, though he attempts to ignore the lot of them until he feels a touch at his elbow.

He spins, and Sir Damien stands at his back, a wince twisting his face as Arum snarls down at him. "Now you mean to stop me?"

"No- no I only- here." He lifts another hand out, a gesture Arum has seen from humans before. "Shake my hand. Show we are parting peaceably and perhaps they will-"

"Perhaps they will be even more disappointed by the lack of bloodshed?" Arum says with a sneer. "They do not care that we are parting peaceably, little basilisk, they care that they are not getting a show."

Arum slaps Damien's hand away, a point of contact that is carefully gentle but deliberately loud, and the crowd hoots. Arum rolls his eyes, and then gives a small pointed gesture since Sir Damien cannot see his face any longer.

"That- but-"

"Tomorrow, Sir Damien," Arum lies, projecting his voice enough to carry to the balcony. "We will end this."

Damien's eyes widen, and then some calculation crosses his face. He- nods, and then with equal force he echoes, "Tomorrow."

Arum glares down at the knight, at the curious determination on his curious, striking face, and then he raises his eyes to Amaryllis for just long enough to give her a nod as well, acknowledgment as she raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him in turn.

Baffling creatures, he thinks again, but when he tries to turn away again Damien's hand on his elbow squeezes, and the human leans closer.

"At Saint Damien's Bells," he says quietly. "Outside the western gate. Midnight. Tomorrow."

"You-" Arum blinks, thinks baffling creatures again with more vehemence, and then says, "You wish to duel me in truth? After all that-"

"No," he says quickly. "No- I only- I still do not understand, Arum. I wish to- to speak with you again. I do not wish for this evening to end and be left only with the pale glow of my own memory to convince me- to haunt me-"

"I do not care what you understand, little basilisk," Arum hisses, and Damien releases his grip with an injured look. "Tomorrow you will not need to play the monster anymore. Tomorrow you will be a knight, and you and your fellow soldiers will return to slaying that which you play at being tonight. If your memory is so fragile a thing, then bury it. Break it. Forget whatever nonsense you think you see in my eyes and take up your bow again."

Damien's eyes are- oddly bright in the cool dark night, and as his shoulders slump Arum swallows uncomfortably and does not feel guilty.

"You said that you owed Damien a debt," Amaryllis says, pointedly. "Your life. Twice over, if I understand you correctly."

Arum clenches his jaw, ducking his head very slightly at the determination curving her painted lips beneath her beak. "What of it?" he mutters.

"Just- meet us again," she says, and the way Damien glances towards her hints that perhaps the knight did not anticipate that his fiance intended to join in his rendezvous. "It's a simple enough request, isn't it? Just- another conversation, where we won't need to worry about being watched, and then you won't be burdened by your debt anymore. Is that fair?"

More than fair. An utterly, wildly simple request to fulfill in exchange for his own life.

If it isn't a trap, that is.

"... very well," Arum says slowly. "If you would call us even for that... more the fool you are. Very well. Tomorrow."

He bows again as they echo him, Damien with a weak, wondering voice, and Amaryllis with a small snort of laughter, and this time when he straightens and spins to walk away, he does not allow his steps to falter.

Beneath the mask, no one can see the relief that crosses his face, that he will see them again.

[buddietomytarlos]

9-1-1 S4 Ep7 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Thoughts under the cut so it doesn’t clog up the tag :)

- Playing rock over the Bible lol relatable. Plus headphones exist like??? it wouldn’t be that hard. So he did have headphones-OH BRUH THEIR SCREAMS SOUND SO SCARY. This dude probably thinks the Bible is coming true rn afhsdfhadskjfhkf

- That woman just smacked his ass ummm that’s… literally not okay.

- Buck’s date is a buzzkill damn.

- HEN’S MOM??? OMG. AWW “What’s up grammy?” Oh she’s… moving into the neighborhood… that’s not gonna be good lol

- Poor Buck, his date’s so??? “Did you just body shame me?” where did he say that ma’am????????

- They’re throwing the trash away when there’s literally nothing in it really what- the fact that her name is Veronica not NOOO SHE’S A NEIGHBOR

- “We have to move” BUCK FAHKDJFAS dramatic ass 😂💞

- Michael's so excited about people watching he’s so 🥺🥺

- Hen, Chim, and Cap and Buck and Eddie gossiping we love them

- Chim shaking his head at the guy saying that Hen would look good in a dress

- THIIS SENE OF BUCK AND EDDIE WITH SUNNY??? FAHSDKJFSFAHKD THE DRAMATIC WAY HE DID THAT???

- Rip May being shrugged off by her dad lol OH IT’S A SET UP WITH HER AND ATHENA OKAY 👀

- I never understood why anyone cares about those kinds of HOLY FUCK…

- Imagine being trapped under a humvee that FELL FROM THE SKY

- Chim making little goodie bags for their neighbors for when the baby cries all night lmao

- Michael got so scared of Bobby looking into the telescope lol

- Hen overhearing her mom worry about her going to med school 😭😭 but also Karen sticking up for her 🥺🥺🥺

- NOT BOBBY GETTING INTO IT AS WELL FAHSDFKJS. Them becoming detectives ghfsdfsa what the hell why do I lowkey love this

- That telescope has great magnifying power

- “Who’s going in?” David just got off work so not him fhskdfjas

- There’s no way this dude would have thought someone went through his trash… like?? NOT MICHAEL IN THE GUY’S APARTMENT

- Him hitting Michael ahahaha if only he knew that he’s backed by the 118 and a police officer. That dude is fucked

- It’s good that they saved the woman but now where’s the guy

- Karen realizing Hen overheard her mom calling Hen too old for med school :(

- “It just feels like another scar, Karen.” 😭😭 HEN

- I thought the covid ad was a weird random part of the show lmaoo

- “That’s some great detective work…” *sees Athena’s eye roll* “… that we will never pursue again."

- “She was sleeping” oh no… oh I thought it was worse. Like it’s still awful but

- Her mom knew why Hen didn’t want to go to school when she was 8 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- “Yes, baby, grammy’s moving in.” PLEASE this is so sweet

- LMAO WAIT VERONICA AND ALBERT—

- LAST EP LOOKS GOOD I CAN’T WAIT OMG

[noahssebastian]

i was tagged by bestie cee / @sapphic-rey ~ thank u bestie!!!!!! rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs to get to know better

name/nickname: edi or mere is okay! mere is my birth name ~  gender: agender, they/them & she/her star sign: sagittarius height: 5′6 time: 15:01 pm CST birthday: december 21st ! jesus can square the fuck up favorite bands: exo, twice, in this moment, clipping ... many others lol  favorite solo artists: florence + the machine, kendrick lamar, megan thee stallion, probably others song stuck in my head: kings dead, jay rock ft. kendrick lamar, future, & james blake last movie: ............yall i have no idea..........maybe little women?? last show: the falcon and the winter soldier & the misadventures of flapjack lol when did i make this blog: idk exactly, i believe i remade either winter of 2015/2016?  what i post: multifandom! mainly marvel but also stranger things, dc, and other movies and thiiings last thing i googled: ethnocentrism ........ its for my sociology class..... other blogs: i have ... a couple of saved urls i can delete but im a hoarder:( do i get asks: rarely but im ... very inactive lmao why i chose my url: because im in love with the only woman, leia organa following: 182 followers: 445 (........when the fuck did that happen???? hello????)  average hours of sleep: around 7-8  lucky number: girl im not lucky  instruments: i used to play percussion and bass guitar  what am i wearing right now: some shorts with palm trees and a shirt from a puppy rescue  dream trip: i’d love to go to sicily, italy to see old family favorite food: chocolate is the default, but im chunky n love food  nationality: american favorite song: rn its say the name, clipping. last book read: started dracula by bram stoker  top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: asgard (its arguable if that is fictional), whatever star trek be on, mirkwood favorite color: yellow, but i rly love a lot of colors:( 

tagging: i aint abt to tag 20 of yall im so sorry @ahsoketano, @anakinskyiwalker, @ginnypcttcr, @tiberiuskirks, @captainmmarvel, @hwfflpuff, & @rinnfey