#what's happening over there

[binch-i-might-be]

love waking up and checking tiktok only to see that apparently frankfurt is entirely underwater

[the-final-sif]

Saludos cordiales,

Busco 1,000 ratas vivas. No es que deseemos meterlas en nuestros escritorios ni nada de eso, simplemente necesitamos llevar a cabo un experimento de creacion artistica e innovacion. Realmente queremos darles una oportunidad a los pequeños roedores. Aunque alguien mas podria sostener que es una tonteria usar ratas en una actividad artistica, aqui en nuestra empresa, creemos en la libertad de expresion y que las ratas tienen tanto derecho como una persona a demostrar su talento artistico.

Esperamos con inters que nos envie sus propuestas comerciales a la mayor brevedad. Agradecemos anticipadamente su tiempo, dedicacion y colaboracion.

Saludos!

-

Saludos atentos,

Estamos en la busqueda de cinta roja para amarrar gente, una buena necesidad de todos los dias! Si, esa que necesitas para cuando sales a buscar pan y vuelves con ganas de recordar a tus amigos cuanto los quieres (o, a veces, no tanto!) Ahora, enserio, necesitamos urgentemente cotizaciones para la cinta roja con caracteristicas de resistencia, de alto rendimiento, ideal para el entorno de trabajo de una empresa. La cantidad requerida seria al menos cien rollos.

Deseamos recibir sus propuestas comerciales a la mayor brevedad posible. Agradecemos su compromiso y esfuerzo al preparar sus ofertas para su evaluacion.

Un cordial saludo,

-

Saludos cordiales,

Volvamos al Siglo XVI! Necesitamos realizar una cotizacion para sangre de oveja. Esta ultima tendencia de la moda en formulas magicas deberia ser de suma importancia para el laboratorio. Si, ya sabemos que los presupuestos modernos casi nunca incluyen sangre de oveja, pero esto es lo que nuestras tendencias en la moda parecen requerir.

Esperamos que nos remita sus propuestas comerciales lo antes posible. Agradecemos de antemano su tiempo y trabajo para evaluar nuestras solicitudes.

Me despido.

-

Saludos respetuosos,

Si estan buscando una forma particularmente desastrosa de usar su tiempo y esfuerzo, estamos deseando ofrecerles la oportunidad de proporcionarnos una cotizacion para algo inutilmente grande es decir, 20,000 toneladas de hierro. No entiendo la necesidad de necesitar este gran volumen de oro rojo, ya que creemos que es mejor caro y pesado para nuestra aplicacion. Por eso, estamos buscando algunas cotizaciones que nos hagan sentir degradados y totalmente incomprendidos. Por supuesto, no estamos seguros si es la cantidad correcta, por lo que les pedimos que nos envien cotizaciones para 40,000 toneladas tambin!

Estamos deseando recibir sus propuestas comerciales en la mayor brevedad posible. Agradecemos de antemano su esfuerzo al preparar las cotizaciones para nosotros.

Saludos!

-

Good morning,

As I have mentioned in our previous correspondences, I did in fact review the invoice for the 20,000 tons of steel we had ordered from you 6 months ago now. Again, the shipments had arrived late, and we have only received 2,000 tons thus far. The invoice does indeed note a quantity of 20,000 tons, not 2,000 tons. We need the additional 18,000 tons within the next two weeks. If this is not something you can do, then unfortunately we will have to find another supplier.

Please indicate if you are able to take on this project and provide an approximate timeline for completion.

Best regards,

-

Okay so these are all the quackity messages I've gotten so far, these appear to be a series of requests asking for the following:

Inimate red rope? Like sex rope??? <- unclear on translation

1000 live rats

20k or 40k tons of iron, that might not get fufilled

Sheep's blood

It seems to be written by a city of some sort, and it's requesting coperate bids be sent in? And then responding to them?

[godofstory]

BRUH what is up with these the marvels box office numbers💀

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

[aniseandspearmint]

I am curious, bc I just ran across one of those, 'everyone remembers where they were when 9/11 happened!' things so-

This isn't meant to be a commentary on the event, just whether or not you remember where you were/what you were doing when the news hit.

As an example, I was home sick, doing dishes, when mom yelled for me to get in the living room RIGHT NOW.

[egophiliac]

queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Bernard: i lied. i don’t like sex. put your clothes back on babe and watch my power point presentation about What The Fuck Is Going On Between Batman And Twoface

Tim: …

[shurisneakers]

cillian murphy accepting the award with his wife's lipstick all over his face and asking the crowd if he's got lipstick on his nose and continuing even when they said yes. this is making me feel. things

[literarymerritt]

Thinking about Them 🥺

Art Tumblr | Twitter

[neonphoenix]

0 days since seeing horrific fanon batfam post.

[danlous]

I feel like many people have a fundamental misconception of what unreliable narrator means. It's simply a narrative vehicle not a character flaw or a sign that the character is a bad person. There are also many different types of unreliable narrators in fiction. Being an unreliable narrator doesn't necessarily mean that the character is 'wrong', it definitely doesn't mean that they're wrong about everything even if some aspects in their story are inaccurate, and only some unreliable narrators actively and consciously lie. Stories that have unreliable narrators also tend to deal with perception and memory and they often don't even have one objective truth, just different versions. It reflects real life where we know human memory is highly unreliable and vague and people can interpret same events very differently

[possiblyawesometmblr]

i'm allowing myself exactly one (1) moment of pure delusion:

jon martin jonah. thanks for your time.

[shehzadi]

israel should just give up at this point hamas is literally receiving letters of gratitude from the israeli hostages they’ve released

(via RNN telegram)

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

i think im having a stroke