#what's bad to me like everyone else!
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My thoughts:
The main intent of this post is very eye-opening and true. While I think a lot of psychological analyses, including this one, tend to create meaning and complexity where there isn't any (to get an intellectual/detective/solving-a-puzzle "wow" factor), and a lot of "womb envy" analysis seems to be more about comforting and empowering women than accurately analyzing male motivations (most violent men aren't subconsciously* resenting the fact that women can give birth, they just like to hurt people), the overall message does have truth to it. Many, maybe even most, violent men use violence as a way to gain control/power. (But all of them do it because they like to cause suffering.)
My eyes rolled into the back of my skull upon reading this author mention the Columbine shooters played video games. (I can kind of give her a pass since her writing was published in 2004, since I absolutely support questioning new things and investigated them to see if they cause harm. Also I'm only calling this out just because I didn't see anyone else doing so.) I'm sorry but if video games cause/escalate violent urges to the point you just have to kill someone, most people should be dead by now. It is a multi-billion dollar industry. Countless women have played violent video games since their creation and yet we for some reason have never had a sudden uptick in female violent crime in the late 80's or the decades since. It's a male problem. Men who have violent urges come to video games, movies, television, hobbies, schools, malls, grocery stores, life in general, seeking a way to unleash their urges through what is otherwise benign. They come to these things already violent, and saying a piece of media (or clothing) was the/a reason they hurt people is to absolve them of the blame they deserve for their own actions. Again, it's just because they like to hurt people and have control over them. The hypothetical man who used to be pure and kind but got corrupted by an FPS game still would have become a murderer if he had watched a horror movie instead.
I'll close out the compliment sandwich by appreciating the teardown of (popular/organized) religion, and how clearly it's laid out that its invention was by and for men to make a system where they could gain and abuse power and control over others (women especially). Men would not and do not worship a female God because God is meant to be a surrogate for themselves.
*Incidentally, I realized this idea from "womb envy" actually contradicts a belief a lot of women who believe in "womb envy" also seem to hold (or at least flirt with): that men are biologically inferior (usually the reason cited is because of their role for reproduction, which one Google search for how emu parents act should disprove) to the point they're mentally incapable of deep/complex/intellectual/etc thought. If men are so animalistic they can't do anything besides feel carnal/animalistic emotions, then they also can't have subconscious desires, because they wouldn't have a subconscious. And if you instead/then believe "womb envy" is a conscious desire that they just hide from us then the fact that they know to hide it (and are decent enough at it for "womb envy" to be a Feminist Iceberg Tier 4 Concept most people haven't heard of despite its supposed prevalence in causing male behavior) is, again, not something a stupid, purely animalistic being would be able to do well, or possibly at all.
having a good day then thinking about this one quote about no woman ever comparing herself to god after creating life by giving birth but every boy with a gun is a god in his own eyes because he has the power to choose who lives or dies and he uses it to take and destroy lives. coughing up blood right now. i need to be hospitalized.
#misogyny#radfems please touch#radfems please interact#my intent was and is never to put down other women's analyses! i'm just taking what's good for me and criticizing#what's bad to me like everyone else!#for instance i'm sure some radfems would say my analysis/criticism of womb envy *is* what womb envy is#(i.e. men seek control through abuse and death period. no conscious or subconscious connection to women at all)#but overall i see it used and discussed in a different way so i have my disagreements#(it's actually kind of a reversal of how i felt and somewhat still feel about using the term ''patriarchy''#in the context of talking about post- or non-patriarchal countries. because patriarchy is a real system with a specific definition#and i think it's important for that to be distinct from the after-effects of that system once it's been removed. and certainly there are#still patriarchal renmants in post-/non-patriarchal societies! i just feel a little uncomfortable having the same term used for#describing places where women have zero human/independent rights legally and at the same time describing#things that could just as easily be labeled as sexism/male entitlement/male violence/internalized misogyny/etc#and maybe it was just because i was a stupid teenager but i do think that fact partially contributed to me being an NLOG#and pseudo-anti-feminist of the ''women are discriminated against yeah but women in thrid-world countries have it way worse'' variety#and i probably felt that way because even now hearing the same word being used for places with legalized FGM and places#without still puts a bit of a bad taste in my mouth#but i'm just a rando on the internet what do i know lol#at the end of the day as long as we're working towards ending misogyny and supporting women and girls that's what we should focus on
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Me when I really want to draw fanart for a fandom because it looks so cool, but I haven't the slightest idea about any deeper lore than surface level plot and symbolism
#I'VE WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS TILL THE END LIKE ONCE AND THAT'S IT#I DIDN'T DO NO RESEARCH OR LOOK AT ANY OF THE LORE#I BARELY EVEN REMEMBER THE EPISODES#I'M SO FUCKED#It's just gonna be me pulling up to the fandom like: hey gang- look what I can do *draws the most simple & plain fanart ever* k bye#my post#sput chatters#I'll make a stupid fuckass AU called:#“hey what if nothing ever bad happened and Bill was nice and#just chill and hung out with everyone else as that one weird“ eldritch uncle being#that is my AU. it makes no sense- ur welcome#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU
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bedtime story with my love !!
#mine#cats#oooooooooogh im so cold....bath time bath time :3 !#i hope everyone is hvaing a good week i am now DONE with work !!!!! hehe !!!!!!!!!!#i might not do any drawing for a little while . maybe just felt tips#also. cannnot for the life of me decide what 2 read...am like 30% way thro assassins fate but Um its . a little intense so im taking a brea#idk what im in the mood for....something....fun... but isnt bad#i feel like all 'light' books r bad. maybe i will just reread the goblin emperor. as i always do when all else fails#also. am going ice skating tomorrow i am SO excited . i hvent been in so so long its so exciting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#mwah. hve good evening :3
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Are you an AraSol enthusiast. If you’re a Sollux fan you must be it’s impossible to enjoy him without also enjoying araSol. It comes with the xbox
HELL YEHA OFC I LOVE THEM
theyre so endgame 4 me
i also think they are the coolest characters in homestuck. nobody else on their level
#ask#anon#homestuck#aradia megido#sollux captor#arasol#arapostings#2024#vioart#ICB I GOT AN ARASOL ASK UAAAAAAAA#wnt2 megadump my arasol essay so bad... but its so sentimental ughhhhhhhhh embarrassing#they make me spin like crazyyy theyre literally so fun so amazing both individually and together#ik hs has a lot of themes around what makes someone "cool” and whatnot but.#these 2 hv clocked it. embodied it. way before everyone else
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can't believe fnaf brought me out of art hibernation man what a turn of events
#my art#clou's art summary#dca fandom#fnaf security breach#art summary 2024#ayo rant in the tags#like everyone else on this planet my 2024 was tough haha#but it was really good artwise#ngl going back to drawing and being unapologetic about it irl was liberating#fr i met some real irl grinches since going to uni#the kind that make you feel bad about liking stuff other than work#i sorta felt ashamed at first and toned it down to focus solely on work#the fnaf dca worms were too strong though lmao#ngl this fandom is awesome#like#last time i checked what was going on in the arcane fandom and this place is a straight up warzone#also it turns out people work a lot better when they're happy how bizarre#no but really this fandom gave me a good deal of confidence in general :D#like YEA i love robots they're so cool how could anyone not like them#YEA i watch arcane every weekend even though i have mixed feelings about s2 it's a literal work of art#though some irl peps used to make me feel bad about enjoying stuff now whenever i meet one i feel sorry for them instead#especially when you ask them about THEIR hobbies instead and they answer 'idk tiktok?' like bruh#hey you#yeah you#if you're reading this don't feel ashamed of your interests#it's not worth it fr#go crazy have fun#draw that character you like#make a playlist for them#draft that fic you were thinking about
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day
It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..
..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what
#I got this compliment once and I was like :3 bc I like compliments. then 4 days later I recognise the name and pfp on#on a tumblr I rlly rlly like bc they're super cool make super cool art and has super cool ideas and I'm just like woah they complement me s#so I search my notifications to find which post they complimented me on and I find out. they're following me. ummm IJWEHFOIWJ#i just can't get over this bc they're literally so cool what#anyways#I got two whole documents of canon dust things and one ao3 of canon things about killer#so I'm learning a way to do justice to the creators image while still putting my own twist on it bc I love fanon and that's how I grew up#I'm literally so passionate about fanon. specifically Gacha fanon bc it's literally so fun and no one else know that#like. literally everyone just like had terrible experience apparently idk how I didn't experience that#am I the only one who knows these characters still had lore Ben though unrelated to anything canon at all#anyways I'm rambling too much whoops#sans au#utmv#undertale au#sanscest#if u want#killer sans#dust sans#kist#if u want...#LOVE affair#teaching myself to use this tag too but eh#did you know Horror is more likely to be a part of the bad Sanses than Dust#Jesus fuck I rambled these tags to hell
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The more I think about it, the more I question Arcane S2's politics and themes, which were so foundational to S1. Like, a tiny example [SPOILERS AHEAD]:
Singed wins. He gets exactly what he wants in the end. All his "efforts" are rewarded. What does that say about people who share his ideology of eugenics? He is the source of nearly every horrible thing and conflict that happened (Shimmer, the factory deaths, Jinx, Vander as Warwick, the corruption of Viktor), and he gets a happier ending than any other character. Not even a 'he got what he wanted but he has become completely unrecognizable/monstrous to his daughter' tag at the end. You can say they're setting him up and need to open his daughter to future shows, but the way you end a character's story says something about what you think about that character. What does it say when the eugenicist war criminal gets the happy ending he doesn't deserve?
#personal#delete later#and you can say “it's not that deep it's just what makes sense to end his character” but lets not kid ourselves#this past month people have been chattering about microexpressions in animation or metaphors and symbolism in interactions#and random props and set details. the end of a character's arc MEANS something thematically.#and it just feels offputting that the most unforgivable character wins while everyone else is dead or suffers alone#and don't give me that “sometimes the bad guy wins” look this is an extreme lol.#i would be fine with this outcome for singed if literally EVERY other character wasn't suffering. only singed got what he wanted#honestly fans who have been completely unwilling to consider negative analysis and criticisms of arcane annoy me so much#y'all chirp about how amazing it is that arcane is so political until the politics get weird. then it's a completely apolitical show#specifically the final “dirt under you fingernails” line. that felt so weird and offputting coming from vi#a part of this is definitely just reactionary anger at a fictional character. like. you caused untold amounts of suffering and agony#all for your daughter. fuck you you don't get your daughter
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hmmm. thinking about how veilguard seems to subscribe more to the more traditional "video game as personal power fulfillment fantasy of heroism" than any other dragon age game, except perhaps origins, though origins does it more artfully.
#da2 certainly is not a power fulfillment fantasy#and inquisition seems like it could be on the surface#but under that surface is the horror of how power corrupts#and rots you from the inside and steals everything from you even yourself#maybe thats not true for a trevelyan#but inquisition at least has the opportunity to be played as either#depending on how the world treats your character as someone they are comfortable with having power#or not#which is a commentary in itself#origins idk#it has never stuck with me the way the other 2 games did so someone else will have to do that analysis#but veilguard is sooooooo hero fantasy fulfillment in comparison#you win in the end#nothing bad ever really happens to you at all#you tell everyone what to do and they listen and love you for it#no one blames you for anything ever#you are always right#you save the day!#compare that to leandra telling hawke their baby brother/sisters gruesome death is their fault#like JHERGJKHERGKJHREG#anyway its not necessarily a bad thing#but its a very... traditional#video game narrative path#that i dont think most of us were expecting or interested in#from a franchise who has deconstructed such things in the past#veilguard critical#mine
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The Final Color Code
Okay here is the final color code. I will be honest I didn't solve it all but here is what it says
TWO DIMENSIONS TO AND FRO / YOU ALWAYS NO WHICH WAY TO GO / IF YOURE LOST DONT BE AFRAID IN EUCLYDIA / YOUVE GOT IT MADE / RUN TOO FAR RIGHT OF FRAME YOULL APPEAR ON LEFT AGAIN / JUMP TOO HIGH DONT CRY OR FRET / YOULL POP UP FROM THE GROUND I BET / IN THIS PLACE THERE IS NO FEAR LOVED ONES WILL NEVER NEAR / ROLES AND RULES ALWAYS CLEAR / EUCLYDIA WE HOLD YOU DEAR
#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#book of bill#okay I'm gonna be honest I got the first two lines and saw someone else got it and I was like welp that's it for me 😅#I really don't know what to think about this#bill's world just seemed like a little strict and probably looked down on any weirdness#and probably ostracized bill for his mutation#and considering they loved roles and rules i assume bill didn't have any and probably thought#his role or purpose was showing everyone the third dimension and get his people to loosen up but...#he killed everyone instead#i wonder how fast it happened#god damn i can't believe i'm feeling bad for a floating triangle
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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braided his hair 👍
#loz#totk#link zelda#link legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#legend of zelda tears of the kingdom#link totk#link botw#legend of zelda#my art#i am so bad at drawing necklaces JSDFJLSD#also#usually i draw like. mostly in one single layer#i do the flats and then i merge EVERYTHING and work like that#today i have decided. to challenge myself. by doing what literally everyone else does#which is unusual for me#use layers for god's sake JKSDFKL#i still merged at the end so i could draw over some mistakes and render some stuff more neatly BUT STILL#twas a challenge SDJSD cause my main instinct was to Merge instantly
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which jjk man could fix you 🎤🎤 realistically .
#see i’d like to think that gojo could fix me#but . it would take years and years and years to even get into a relationship with him…#and suguru could probably fix me but he would make me codependent in the process 💀 and he would enjoy it .#i THINK .#….. higu or yuji . could fix me#higuruma is so . kind. and so stable#he overworks himself which would be bad but. i feel like i’d help him unwind and he would fix my brain entirely in return#and yuji is just suchhh a sweet soul#a golden retriever bf …..#… i was also thinking nanami kinda but he would lecture me very gently and make me cry so 💀#ANYWAY IM JUST CURIOUS i would love to hear what everyone else thinks ….. !!!!!!#ari noises ✩
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PUTTING UP MY FIRST EXHIBIT EVER RN CURATED ENTIRELY BY ME !!!!!!!!!!! RAHHHH 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
IT’S OPEN 2 THE PUBLIC NEXT WEEK ‼️‼️‼️
#also hehehehe i have another exhibit going up in a different room that’s opening in the summer !!!! RAHJSNSNAJAKAK#i used 2 pray 4 times like these#straight up bad bitching it rn#now everyone pray that everyone is super niceys to me and love love LOVES what i’ve done w the place or else …. 🔫#biggest nightmare is my boss being like ‘oh no…. this isn’t what we wanted at all….. i fear you’ve missed the mark’#like i will throw up on her very nice loafers :/#<- it’s because my biggest fear is being bad at the things i love the most#does that make sense? like this is all i am. i’ve dedicated my entire studies and life to this … if im bad at it …. i can’t be bad it …yk?#but i think its swag idc! now is not the time for self doubt !!!!!! 🙂↔️🙂↔️#nat rambles
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