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neovisioned · 4 years

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♡ꜜ broken mirrors﹫jaehyun jung

pairing : jaehyun x reader (f), ft. nct dream and johnny.

genre : angst, smut, horror-ish, cursed!jaehyun, (kind of bloody mary!au), college!au.

warnings : jaehyun is meant to be kind of twisted, some toxic and manipulative behaviour from him, black magic, mentions of rituals, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, mention of anxiety, voyeurism, choking, guided masturbation, degradation, pet names : doll, darling, kid, reminder jaehyun is an entity from the victorian era, reader is kind of reckless and impulsive.

word count : 25k exactly.

synopsis : where your college friends recall a creepy legend known around your university about a man that appears in mirrors and grants you two wishes when summoned. Jisung is dared to say his name three times and see what happens. you at first brush it off as some copy of bloody mary but, when your friend chickens out and swears something happened in that bathroom, you can’t deny the shift in atmosphere everyone felt. once in your dorm, the urge to try it out mixed with fear pushes you over the edge. it’s probably fake anyways, right ? you summon Jung Jaehyun in the middle of the night, on your bed, and he is not what you expected him to be.

a/n : this was supposed to be a short one shot, lol. reminder this isn’t an all pink story. for the people who’ve read my other stuff, it’s quite different from what i usually write ! also, this isn’t proofread. in case tags don’t work : @nct-writers @neowritingsnet @thekpopnet.

“Do you seriously believe in this kind of shit ?” laughs Jeno, a bit too loudly for the other students probably peacefully resting in the dorms right next to his. One hand covers the economics student’s mouth, visibly chewing on some chips and guacamole freshly made for tonight. Jaemin whines at the obvious joke his friend is making him out to be in front of everyone, a pout on his rosy lips. Poor thing, a dusty pink colors his cheeks – noticeable despite the low lighting of Jeno’s room - he looks down at the half empty plate, crumbs of potatoes on the ceramic.

“At least let me tell the story !”, Jaemin argues, slapping the red haired’s hand away. Stealing one of the last larger chips, Jaemin dips it in the smashed avocado. The blonde eats his chip almost aggressively, a victorious noise coming out of his closed mouth when Jeno notices the little amount of guacamole he left for him.

“We were supposed to watch a scary movie, telling creepy stories’ the next best option.”, you say, leaning back against your friend’s Fatboy. Tonight was yet another one of these half improvised movie nights with your college friends. Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle and Donghyuck were all in your campus, in different courses and yet, you all managed to come together in one tight neck group. Every week, one member of the group would host a little something to celebrate…not dying ? Yeah, something like that.

Thursday, tonight was obviously Jeno’s turn to hold the gathering, he had proposed a nice horror movie night but, Jisung, a language student, ended up chickening out after hearing the movie’s synopsis. You don’t really blame him, though, the story was meant to keep its viewers up for nights.

“Jisung’s a pussy !”, Donghyuck teases the young man, a hand ruffling his peach hair to annoy him even more. “I have things to do tomorrow and I need my sleep !”, he defends himself for the nth time tonight, a new argument each time. The other boys aren’t really bothered by the change, movies usually get lost in the group’s banter and casual conversations anyways. You can count on two hands the number of movies you entirely watched with your friends.

“He’s gonna get scared by some stories, too.”, the brunette continues his teasing like he usually does. Jisung pushes him to the side as an answer, before crossing his arms over his chest. Like everyone else, he’s already wearing his pyjamas, his and everyone else’s dorm room is in the same building and so, everyone could get to their bed in minutes, if not seconds.

“He’s going to knock at your door tonight, Y/N.”, Jeno joins in, all very well knowing that the peach haired’s dorm is right next to yours, seconds away. There’s a snore from Donghyuck, slapping a hand on the wooden table as he adds something to the conversation too, one you don’t catch. “Oh no, don’t. But I can give you a plushie if you’re really scared.”, you join in before immediately wrapping an arm around your friend for comfort.

“’m joking. Come on, what’s your story, Jaemin.”, you hum, letting Jisung lean his head against your shoulder with a whine, pout on his pink lips.

“Lets do one each, yeah ? I have a story to tell and we’ll see who will really need a plushie.”, taunts the young man at your side, though no one truly believes him at first. Jisung, having scary stories to tell ? Hard to believe.

“Wait ! We need to get in the mood !”, interjects Jaemin, getting up from his position on the floor. He easily navigates in the room with Jeno, like a third home. The first closes all windows, pushes curtains and turns off any lights to, like he said, get in the creepy mood.

“H-Hey ! Can we at least keep one on ?”, Chenle joins the peach haired as a laughing point for the other boys, but Jaemin quickly obliges and lets the light of the small bathroom on for his friend, you suspect he didn’t like the complete lack of light either. You can barely see the front door from your spot, the yellowish light easily drowns the group in the storytelling atmosphere and, Jaemin joins the group again. “Wait, one last thing !”, searching for something in a drawer next to his bed, Jeno ends up taking a red candle out with a victorious sound. It hasn’t been touched at all, you inspect it a bit closely when your friend sets it on the wooden table.

“Got it because of TikTok, it has something in it.”, he mumbles out, running a hand in his dyed hair, almost embarrassed. You wonder again how almost everyone in this group has their hair a different shade of some unnatural colour and yet, dried locks aren’t falling out on the dorm floor - yet. Thumb on his lighter, Jeno tries a few times before he gets a flame steady enough, bringing it to the white thread sticking out of his impulsive purchase.

“There, now we’re in the mood.”, proud of his little setup, the red haired sits down again, a small giggle escaping his lips at Chenle’s frightened look, already sheltering himself with his arms. The candle smells like strawberries, tall flame wavering under your friends’ breaths, the red haired slaps your hand away when you try to dig in the melted wax for the mystery treasure with one of his forks.

“Now, Jaemin ! Let us hear your story.”, slapping his hands together, Donghyuck leans a bit closer to the center of the table. It is no secret in the group that Donghyuck has a love for scary stories and anything crime related, it seems he has been waiting for this moment. His face gets enlightened by the small candle, a weird angle that changed his features. “Try and scare us.”, the dance student challenged.

Jisung’s arm wraps and tightens around your own when Jaemin takes the little light in his own hands, bringing the flame under his face. “Alright, do you guys know what’s a…Banshee ?”, his last word comes out as a whisper, letting the last syllable hang in the air for a few. “Oh, no.”, Renjun’s head rolls back, it rests against Jeno’s bed for a bit as he squeezes his eyes shut, whining in almost pain. “Oh, yes. Renjun knows this story.”, remembers Jaemin, a smile stretching his lips, devilish. Everyone else comes a bit closer to the table, curiosity poked by Renjun’s natural reaction. You’re the only one shaking your head from left to right, but you doubt the others know about what the storyteller’s talking about.

“A Banshee’s a female spirit whose wailing warns of a death in a house.”, starts Jaemin, hands dancing around the small flame, probably enjoying the heat, drawing slight shadows on the walls. He pays no attention to the small gasp falling from Chenle’s lips, about to continue. “Wow, Wikipedia. Big boy words.”, notifies Jeno, earning a death glare by the narrator.

“It happened years ago, me and my family were on vacation in Ireland. You guys know, I have some relatives there. It was for a wedding, so all my cousins and I were staying at my Uncle’s house.”, finally starts Jaemin, voice a lot quieter. The young medicine student easily gets the entire group captivated with his words and aura. Even Renjun who already knows this story, even Jisung who usually, does not like scary tales. It is clear the intimate aspect of a story lived by a friend helps a lot, it isn’t anything mainstream or heard before, it adds to the mystery. For the next minutes, the young man tells his story with as much seriousness as he can, keeping the candle right under his face.

“We were all around the ages of ten and thirteen, my Uncle’s house was deep in the Irish country side. I remember that parents would all sleep on the first floor and let us have the second for big sleepovers. So, my cousins and I would stay late and watch horror movies. I mean, you let kids alone, obviously they’re going to stay up late, right ?” Haechan only agrees while Jisung lets about a “this isn’t starting very well.”, eyebrows furrowed, cheek rubbing against your shoulder. “But eventually, my Uncle would come up and switch off the TV. You guys don’t know him but he’s...Special. He wouldn’t walk us to bed right away, he’d tell us about Banshees. Irish spirits, he’d describe them to us. A fragile, old woman with ripped clothes. Black hair down to her feet, sickly white skin and a veil over her red, bloody eyes.” Jaemin lets the description sink in, your face contours at the thought, you don’t have to look at Jisung to know he has the same expression on his. Donghyuck, him, is smiling a bit too much, leaning closer to the narrator for more. Jeno is strangely afraid too, towing with a loose thread sticking out of his blanket. “Her screams have one meaning. Someone is going to die.”, Jaemin dramatically lets out the last word, keeping a straight, serious face even when Donghyuck cooes. “I hate this.”, you mumble out, to which Jisung agrees. “My Uncle would tell us about how clocks would stop, all of a sudden, fall off walls and crash on the floor before hearing a Banshee. Lights would turn on and off, flicker, doors would fly open without a breeze and slap against the walls. Paintings and pictures would fall down. He’d describe the keening as high pitch sounds, it’d pierce your soul and make every hair on your body stand.” Another pause, it’s clear Jaemin already told this story. There, he mimics the sound of a keening Banshee. And, if you think he’d sound silly, he does. High pitched is not a sound your friend can achieve and, it takes a few laughs here and there. Chenle visibly relaxes, back leaning away from the Fatboy. “He’d then walk us to bed after his Banshee story and we’d stay awake out of fear, you know. Just staring outside the windows, at the dark, Irish country side. Pitch black, no lights, tall - tall trees. It was during the winter, a wedding in the snow. And so, his big garden would be fogged up. A dense, white fog, we could barely see anything.”

The small flame grows taller, it wavers again under Jaemin’s words, light dancing on the red haired’s table. “One night, after my Uncle walked us to bed, me and my cousins were looking outside when we saw it.” Jisung shivers next to you without even hearing the rest, you almost giggle at his reaction. Both the narrator’s palms softly hit the table before he continues. A sound leaves his lips, like the image his memory is forming in front of his eyelids is enough to scare him. “We saw one.”, Jaemin finally announces.

In another situation, Donghyuck would be the first one to deny or refute Jaemin’s words. No you didn’t, you almost say but, your lips part for a second, without a sound. Hyper focusing on your friend, you can’t deny the slight shiver that runs down your spine when he continues. “Red, glowy eyes. Right under a tree. She was wearing a white dress and just like Uncle said. She was taller than Uncle described, she could probably easily touch the tall branches of the trees. Skinny, lanky body, we couldn’t see if she had a veil or if it was ripped.” There’s a pause again, Jaemin looks at the clock right behind you and you can not help it, you turn around just in case. “The clock stopped.” Fortunately, he isn’t talking about Jeno’s.

“No.”, the red haired whispers out but, Jaemin does not even look at him, continuing his story.

“She wasn’t moving, just standing...there. White dress, black hair. We couldn’t see exactly where she was looking at but it was clear she was staring at our house. And then…”, for a second time, the young man mimics a Banshee’s scream but, it’s too good this time. It’s quiet enough that he does not bother Jeno’s neighbors, but high pitched and blood drenching. The quiet scream is drawn out, Jaemin leans on his palms and elevates himself before he’s out of breath, stopping abruptly. “Dude.”, you whisper out, getting a look from Jisung.

“And then. She disappeared. We saw her walking between the house and my Uncle’s neighbor’s house. It was so weird, she wasn’t slow, she was walking quickly, so quickly. But it was like her knees weren’t in place, her legs would twitch to the side every now and then.”, Jaemin sits down again, looking at each of his friends in the eyes. You didn’t know he was this good at storytelling, you have to keep yourself from picturing this tall, lanky woman quickly walking in the dark. “We locked all the doors, closed all the windows. We were so scared, we would look at each other like…‘who’s going to die tonight ?’”

“Shut it, no one died.”, the red haired lets out, sentence rushed. But, Renjun finally speaks up, throwing a balled up tissue at your friend, one he cannot dodge, getting hit right on his forehead. “Sht and listen.”

“We did not sleep at all that night and…”, you almost hit the medicine student at the nth pause, you can’t deny the fact that he has you at the edge of your metaphorical seat. “The next morning, my Uncle found our neighbour. Dead.”

There’s a gasp from everyone, your eyebrow’s and Donghyuck’s raise up and before you can speak up, Renjun whispers at you to just “wait for the next part.” You hear one of your friends babbling about how it’s all bullshit, but Jaemin never leaves his narrator persona. “We told my Uncle about the Banshee, he had heard it too and since nothing happened to us or our parents, he went to his neighbors’ house. Both really believed in these kind of things, these Irish legends. He was found in his little sofa, turned towards his window. He didn’t have any heart problems but apparently, his heart stopped during the night. My dad told me a bit more two years ago, he was found with his eyes...Wide open.”

The moment Jaemin finishes his little story, questions fly from each side of the table and your friend answers quickly, like he was ready for each one of them. “You can call my mom and ask her about it if you want to, Donghyuck.”, the confidence the medicine student has in his story is enough for the brunette. A nice story to start on, you all note, but the neighbor’s death was probably a weird coincidence, right ? At the very least, that’s what you’d like to think. Finally, when everyone calmed down from Jaemin’s story, he pushed the candle towards Jisung. “Your turn, you said you had a story to tell.”

Your friend nods quickly, hands resting on the pyramide shape of the candle, frowning at the layer of wax it leaves on his palms. A little pool of melting wax is forming at the top and you wonder for a moment if it’s not going to spill on the table. Everyone’s attention turns towards the new narrator, Jaemin finding a new comfortable position on the floor. “Alright, uh. I don’t have the same storytelling skills as Jaemin and it isn’t the same type of story. You guys know Eric, right ?”, he starts, receiving some hums from Jeno and Jaemin.

“Eric the Eerie ?”, you ask, almost in disbelief at the mention. At the nickname, Donghyuck almost bursts out laughing, leaning his forehead against Jeno’s table and Renjun pouts a bit at the lack of seriousness his story is already receiving. “Yes, him. The old Litterature student.”, affirms Renjun. You remember the guy, tall and lanky, legend has it that he suddenly went from the bottom of his class to the very top almost overnight, collecting amazing grades after amazing grades. No one knew how he did it. Plus, he was a bit weird. It might seem a bit mean but, his appearance didn’t help and, he would not talk to anyone either, he avoided big bodies of water and mirrors, you doubt he had any friend here, too. He’d apparently sit in the back of his class and, when he graduated, he took his diploma first and left. Nowhere to be seen now.

“Didn’t he graduate last year ?”, Jaemin asks, grabbing a bottle of juice from the side. Even in the dark, he is able to pour himself a glass full without spilling it everywhere.

“He did, yeah. Did you guys hear about the legend ? The one around how he got his grades up ?”, there’s a sound coming from your mouth, half confused and half intrigued. “Uh ?” Jaemin hums loudly, the sound resonates between the walls of his glass as his eyes blow wide for a second. “The Yoonoh thing ? I heard about that but not in details.” Apparently, Jaemin isn’t the only one who recalls the name. It is one you and all your friends have heard before, right when you entered your university. It wasn’t mentioned in the flyers or, by the teachers, even. It was first brought up during a party hosted by older students, one where they all told you about the campus’ legends and stories.

“His name’s written all over the walls of the old building. Also, it’s in the main building’s restroom, I think.”, Renjun informs and your memory clicks. Your university has many buildings but, one of them, a bit further away from the campus, is abandoned. It has been for years now but you and your friends decided to visit it out of curiosity during your first year, a bit after the party. You could say it was pretty underwhelming, nothing too special if it wasn’t for old structures and dirty floors. Empty classes and weird smells, like any other abandoned places, you could say. You remember the same name being written over and over again on the walls, the desks, some mirrors. Younger you thought it was only a weird legend older students used to scare the new ones.

“Oh, right. What about it ?”, Jeno asks, eyebrows raising a bit at the new storyteller.

“Do you guys remember the legend ?”, you nod again and, help your other friends remember the old tale. Once upon a time, a man cursed, cursed in mirrors forever. Able to travel from room to room, forced to appear whenever properly summoned by someone. How did he end up with such a faith ? You do not know or, maybe you don’t remember what your older friends told you. Yoonoh was - or is -, his name. Much like Bloody Mary, call his name three times and he’ll eat your reflection, take your place in your mirror and offer you two wishes. Two and not three, the last one he keeps to himself, he’ll ask for something in return. The rest of the story is quite blurry, it changed from course to course. Some people said he’d trap people in mirrors, other that he was a creepy, demonic looking creature asking for quite gory things. You had to say, when the story was told the night of the party, you got a bit creeped out but, you forgot about it since.

“Apparently, Eric summoned him. Midway through the school year, he summoned him in his bedroom and used one of his two wishes for better grades. The first wish was granted but, Yoonoh wanted Eric to sacrifice a friend to him. No one knows if he managed to do it or not, apparently he didn’t use his second wish and since, Yoonoh follows him everywhere he goes.”, Renjun dramatically says but, the effect isn’t one he anticipated for his little story. There’s a laugh from Donghyuck, quickly followed by Jeno. “C’mon dude, we wanted a scary story.”, interjects the medicine student and, you only hide your chuckle by drinking your juice. Poor Renjun pouts, trying to regain the attention of his friends. “Wait, listen ! Doesn't it make sense ? Like...Like, I see it happening.”, big pearly eyes find Jisung for some support, but his friend only looks away to hide his smile too.

“That story’s bullshit, I thought you knew.”, Jaemin finally says, sighing a little.

“But the grades going up ? How he’d dodge mirrors like the plague ? He even took the mirror from his bathroom and bedroom out.”, Renjun argues, leaning a bit too closely to the small flame. You wonder for a moment who exactly, decided to take advantage of your gullible friend. “It’s fake.”, Jisung says again, mimicking your friend. He gets a death glare from the fallen storyteller who didn’t have the throne for too long, pushing the candle to the center of the table.

“Alright…”, he starts, palms flat on the flat surface. Renjun plants his eyes into Jisung’s, small smile tugging at his lips at the thought crossing his mind. “I dare you to summon him.”

Oh, your friends still act like teenage boys. You don’t blame them, quite the contrary, you join them when they almost scream at the challenge thrown out. Everyone knows Jisung never turns a dare down, it probably has to do with his pride. But tonight, tonight might be the first time he does. Eyes scanning everyone, Jisung takes a bit too long to answer. There’s a bunch of “do it”’s from around the table, Jeno and Jaemin weirdly dancing to the beat of your words.

“Yoonoh ? Dude…”, eyes blown wide, he looks around at the uproar the narrator created, almost sending daggers. “I thought it was bullshit ?”, sarcastically asks Renjun, propping his chin on his hand, still on the table. Donghyuck calls him a chicken after some seconds of thinking and, this does it for Jisung’s pride and ego.

“He’s gonna do it !”, Jeno chokes out, hands thrown in the air in victory. The medicine student at his side takes the lit candle in his palms and offers it to Jisung once he finally stands up with an audible sigh, head low like a knight in front of a Queen. “It’s...fake anyways.”, he reassures himself alone, brushing his pyjamas. Slowly walking towards the dimly lit bathroom, Jisung quickly looks behind him to see if anyone stops him. Clearly, no one does.

“Do you remember how to do it ?”, Renjun asks, not even hiding his smile at Jisung’s obvious lack of confidence, a first. Shaking his head from left to right, Renjun quickly writes it down on a piece of paper, himself not daring saying it out loud. Standing up like the rest of your group, you look over your friend’s shoulder. He’s writing a few sentences down by memory, sentences you remember from the first university party.

“Mirror, mirror, mirror. Take my reflection as home. Show me my deepest, darkest desires. Give to me, take from me. Yoonoh, Yoonoh, Y…”

“I didn’t want to write his name three times.”, Renjun mumbles out, handing the small piece of paper to your friend, waiting in front of the bathroom door. You audibly laugh at his confession, poking Donghyuck with your elbow to react his words. “And I am the chicken ?”, Jisung asks a bit too offended, to which Jeno only pushes him inside the room. “I never said I wasn’t !”

Jeno tries to close the door behind him as quickly as possible but, Jisung is quicker and blocks the attempt with an arm, frightened look flashing in his eyes for a second, he already hates this. His mouth falls open the moment you turn the light off, only lit by the small candle and Jaemin’s phone’s light. “Do I have to ?”, he whines, quickly looking behind him. All the dorms have the same bathroom, small and packed, it seems Jisung never saw his bathroom in the dark or maybe, the candle lit adds to the creepiness. “Yes, you have to !”, it’s almost a harmony between you and Chenle and, with Jaemin’s help, the door gets closed and traps Jisung in the small room. Poor thing, you hear him let a whine out while your friends giggle, tapping on the door.

“C’mon, Jisung.”, Jaemin pushes him on and, you hear him mumble something on the other side. Finally, silence. Jisung probably sets the candle down, whines again about how he can’t read your friend’s handwriting. After a few minutes, he mumbles a few things again, voice audibly shaky. Jeno lets his nails travel down the painted wood of his door and, the poor thing reacts, loudly tapping the door.

“Is he doing it ?”, you ask quietly, ear to the door. “I think ?”, Donghyuck can only guess before he gestures to his friends to back away and stay silent. In Jeno’s dorm, badly lit, all packed in front of his door, you think it’s all fun and games. Finally, you hear Jisung say the first words with an ounce of confidence, clearing his throat every now and then, mirror, mirror, mirror. Your eyes grow wide, palms slightly sweaty, you have to rub them against your pyjama pants and crouch a bit down. He reads almost like a robot, a monotone voice he uses to add some humor in all of it, act nonchalant when you’re pretty sure he’s shitting himself in there. However, when you hear the second to last sentence, your blood rushes through your veins, he sounds different, like he’s finally taking it all seriously. It’s weird, your brain is convinced nothing is going to happen and yet, your heart races for him and the possibilities of what can happen between these four walls. You were never the one to believe in such things but, the adrenaline and thrill always got to you, always managed to scare you a bit and keep you up at night. It seems the situation does the same to your friends. Quickly, flashlights join Jaemin’s, you even see Chenle biting down on his lower lip, backing a bit away. At this very moment, you don’t know it yet but, your friend has a weird feeling greeting up his chest. Yoonoh, you hear him say his name once, you fake not feeling the air grow colder around you, goosebumps rising on your nakes arms, it’s probably the open wind-. You remember Jaemin closing every window before starting his story. A second time, Jisung sounds breathless, hesitant to let the word out, even. You almost open the door to let him out but you’re stuck there, unable to move anything but your eyes. Stuck in place, it seems like long minutes go by between your friend’s words. Quickly, you look over at the clock hung up on Jeno’s wall, the very one you thought would fall down during the medicine student’s story and...Is it...Slowing down ? Say it a third time and get out of here, you think to yourself, suddenly feeling sweat gathering on your body. Hairline, back, you fan yourself with your hand but nothing changes. It sounds like he tries to, syllable forming on his lips but nothing more gets out. He tries once, and never finishes. There’s a shiver that runs down your spine, you instinctively glare at Jaemin who stares at the plain door almost too intensively, you see his Adam’s Apple difficulty move up, and down, like he himself, feels the weird shift in atmosphere. When did this dumb dare turn so serious ? Something isn’t right, you don’t dare mention it at that moment, you don’t think you need to anyways. He isn’t able to let the last word out, silence on the other side, you almost think he’s pulling a prank on you before you hear it. You all hear a commotion, you hear Jisung thumble backwards and crash into one of Jeno’s furniture.

“What the fu-.”, before Donghyuck can even finish his sentence, the door abruptly opens, forcing everyone away from the entrance, your back crashes into Jeno’s chest who stood right behind you. A scared Jisung tumbles out the small room, almost running as fast as possible before letting his body fall on one of the Fatboys with a sound.

“Dude, what the fuck ?”, Jeno asks, half terrified and half amused, he doesn’t know what to feel yet. Jisung barely answers, he wonders for a moment if his friends won’t make fun of him for what’s going on in his mind. “Something touched me. Something touched me in there.”, he chokes out, breathing chopped. You know, you know Donghyuck is about to make fun of him before he walks towards the man, taken back by the genuinely afraid look he has on his face. “Wha- ? Are you okay ?”, he asks, palm resting on his friend’s upper arm in an attempt to calm him down.

Your attention gets grabbed by the still open door, you wouldn’t dare say it out loud but, there’s something strange about it. Pulled towards it, your eyes leave your visibly and audibly afraid friend for the dark place. You almost fear going inside and, you only look up at the dark room without entering, something in your body tells you not to. Staying right in front, it’s like you feel the shift in temperature between the living room and bathroom. Why does the bathroom look so...dark ? You barely register it, how the flashlights of your friends’ phones get absorbed by the darkness inside the smaller room, only lit by the small candle. It’s probably your brain, you think to yourself. A brain can do weird things to itself, it can imagine, create but, you’re sure you’re not hallucinating when you see the candle’s flame growing taller, wavering violently before eventually, getting blown. No wind, nothing, the pale trail of grey smoke flies straight upwards and you quickly back away, closing the door behind you in hopes of ending anything that went on in there.

“Here, here. Look !”, in the meantime, your entire group had gathered around Jisung, amused looks turned into worried ones at his twisted body on the coach. Jisung pulls his short sleeve up and, under Chenle’s flashlight, you think you might hallucinate again. Milky skin glows under the living room’s artificial light when Jaemin turns it on, it contrasts deeply with his epiderme but your brain would rather make anything up than believe your eyes. A light pink, slowly growing a deeper shade of red, five fingerprints around your friend’s arm mark his skin.

It’s almost two in the morning when your phone rings to the tune of a few texts, screen lightening with a notification from your beloved friend group chat. Body and mind trying its best to rest on your small bed, your eyes travel from your thin, white ceiling to your phone when you bring it up to your face, risking it falling straight on your nose. You quickly swipe a finger on the object and read the last text Jeno sent, something about wanting Jisung to take a shower and rest for the night, quickly followed by your other friends’ words.

There’s a sigh tumbling from your lips, the slight headache taking place right on your temples makes you want to bury your face right under your pillow but your small dorm is hot, way too hot for that. Window wide open, there isn’t an ounce of wind entering your room. You hate the feeling of sweat growing on your forehead, on your back, fabric sticking to your skin just like it did in front of Jeno’s bathroom. You feel drained, so, so drained. It is something you’re used to, especially after a full week of classes and a night with your friend but tonight, something feels different. There’s something off about your room, it doesn’t feel the same. You aren’t being watched, you know that, but you sure feel like it. Oppressed, stuck in such a small space, you’ve been rolling around your bed for minutes now, unable to sleep. After what happened in Jeno’s own dorm, natural instincts kicked in. All tried to find an excuse for what happened to Jisung, saying maybe your friend got the marks from bumping into the furniture, maybe he got these before even entering the room. Poor thing decided to let himself be convinced by the hypothesis thrown at him but, you couldn’t really understand everything else. The change in temperature, the lack of light, the candle blowing itself out, you can’t find a single excuse except maybe, just maybe, your mind’s playing tricks on you.

Your thumbs quickly work to type a message for your friend before you drop your device on your bed. Overthinking, that probably is what’s keeping you from falling asleep. It’s crazy, the number of videos around paranormal things you and Donghyuck watched together and yet, you two didn’t think about the rules before starting this stupid dare. Beating yourself up for not taking it seriously, you now remember how you’re supposed to say goodbye whenever starting a seance of Ouija. How you should not disrespect entities, know and do everything by the rules. You almost text Donghyuck about it but, you fear sounding too crazy.

Instead of Donghyuck, you text Johnny. It’s the urge of knowing more, the curiosity growing in your belly that you did not expect. The tall man’s one of the older students who told you about Yoonoh’s legend during the first party, he studies psychology in your building and you two became quite good friends after a while. He would help little you with administration but also, showed you some spots you still go to, to this day. Good friends, so much so you know he isn’t sleeping at such an hour. And, you don’t feel too guilty when you text him about the legend, almost completely out of the blue. Needless to say, the brunette was a bit taken back by the question. You saw it through his texts, but he quickly told you about all the things he knew and heard around the university legend. The same sentences your friend wrote on a piece of paper, the same Jisung was close to saying fully. A candle, like Jeno unknowingly provided and the young man took to the bathroom. But, there was one thing missing, or rather, two. The one who summons Yoonoh shall write their name on the mirror, clearly and without a mistake. Second, both palms have to be placed on the mirror. Flat, you don’t think you’re allowed to move them while reciting what you’d call a spell, much like on a Ouija board. All the things missing and yet, you still felt a slight shift in Jeno’s dorm, didn’t you ?

Turning your phone off once you wishing Johnny a good night, you find yourself turning the device on again, seconds after. Scrolling through your Twitter timeline and switching between the same two applications doesn’t help at all. Push it away, that feeling of being watched comes back like a bull. You hate it, so much. It’s just like the aftermath of watching a scary movie, you reassure yourself. Like that one time you watched Annabelle and slept with all your plushies outside your bedroom with the light open, right ? Sitting up on your bed, you almost feel ashamed when you turn your light on, quickly looking around your small dorm. Nothing’s there, nothing’s there. The slight fear adds to the sweat collecting on your skin, you feel too hot and yet, a cold shiver runs down your spine when your back meets your headboard. “It’s just a legend.”, you tell yourself out loud. One time, two times. Bringing your knees to your chest, your hands quickly grab at the thin sheet before you pull it towards your body, as if it’ll shelter you from anything paranormal. It’s just a legend, you tell yourself again when your eyes meet your reflection. What a stupid idea, having such a big mirror right in front of your bed. It takes all of your wardrobe, you remember loving it when you first moved in, taking advantage of the size for pictures. But now, it only added to your fear. You don’t know where to look, eyes traveling from your own body to the sides of your bed, the corners of your room. At least, nothing can hide in here, you think you’d see it immediately.

Your father would probably laugh at your face if he saw you right now. See, if your mother might believe in anything paranormal, your father never did and never will. He’d always find a scientific reason for anything weird happening in your house, reassuring you as best as he could. If he was here, what would he say, what would he do ? You ask yourself for a minute, keeping your knees close to your body.

He’d try it, see for himself and prove that the legend was all bullshit.

Calling him at such an hour wasn’t even an option, could you do it yourself ? You wonder, eyes glued on the mirror. You can not deny the slight curiosity rising in your chest, building up in your body. It’s weird, a morbid interest that has been sitting with you since Jisung ran out of the bathroom, since you saw the candle blow out by itself. Curious and adventurous, you always thought you were and, wouldn’t trying it help you prove the invalidity of the legend ?

Legs fall back on the bed, you barely can believe yourself when you stand up on your knees, sinking into your mattress. “Do it and go to bed, surely nothing will happen.”, you coach your reflection. You think it’s a mix of fear, pure curiosity and fatigue. Your body craves sleep and, in your half asleep state of mind, you take advantage of your boost of confidence, pushing away the paranoiac side of your brain. If it was real, more people would talk about it. If it was real, where are all the pictures and videos ? Clumsily stepping out of your bed, your feet touch the cold floor as you drag your body towards your makeup bag, blindly dipping a hand in. An old lipstick would do, right ? Right, you don’t even remember the last time you used this Sephora lipstick. The small candle you probably used twice in your life finds another use tonight as you grab it from your shelf, opening the small lid to clean the small bits of burnt thread.

A few steps is all you need before you stand in front of your mirror, letting your body rest from the little effort you did when you sit down right in front of it. It’s stupid, so so stupid, you think to yourself. Nothing will happen and you’ll tell this very story to your friends the next day, they’ll make fun of you for it for the next week and all will be good.

Taking the protection of your old lipstick off, you inspect it with a pout. A shame, such a pretty color you never really wore before the expiration date. The deep red stick comes up when you twist the bottom and you have to resist the urge of trying it on your lips, just to see. Rather, just like Johnny said, you write your name on the mirror. The paste easily leaves a red trace under the pressure of your fingers, it’s almost pleasing if you did not know how long you’ll take to clean it off after. Long sticks, you write your name clearly on the mirror before closing your old lipstick, leaving it at your side. Next, your fingers fumble inside your bag, trying to find your lighter. It’s one you rarely use but keep with you just in case and you quickly turn it on. The small flame dances under your mouvements, bringing the cold candle near your lighter. It quickly starts burning in your hands and you place the object right between your body and the mirror. There’s a sigh from your lips, you can’t believe it yourself when you lean forward, both palms flat on the cold surface. Above your name in red lipstick, you dare look at yourself. Actually, if you look at yourself, your attention won’t drift for the back of your bedroom in fear. And so, keeping your eyes on your reflection’s, you take a deep breath.

“Mirror, mirror, mirror.” you start off pretty easily, the one word rolling off your tongue without a second thought. Now that you’ve started it, you don’t think you can end everything just like that, you learned everything needs to be closed once started. “Take-...Take my reflection as home.”, you stutter, vision getting blurry for the quickest second. Probably the lack of sleep and fatigue, some water coats your eyes and you blink the teardrops away, finding a clear vision again. You sigh out for a second in an attempt to cool your body down, the same feeling slowly plunges on your shoulders. The one you felt while Jisung was doing the same thing but, this time, you were alone. The change in atmosphere is less abrupt but, you still feel it anyways. The air grows hotter, heavier, dense.

“Show me my deepest, darkest desires.”, you choke out, feeling your palms sweat up, trying your best to resist the urge to whip them. You shift uncomfortably on your spot, pushing away the goosebumps raising on your naked arms again. Wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible, you push all the signs away and continue, though your confidence runs out quickly. “Give to me, take from me.” The small candle flame flickers, it grows taller and, you have to push it away with a knee to prevent it from burning your clothes. Maybe it’s the open window, right ? But here it is again, the feeling of being watched. You hate it, you almost turn around or just, look behind you through the mirror. Instead, a groan escapes your lips, frustrated at yourself, tired, annoyed, scared.

It seems the two sides of your brain disappeared, your thoughts are radio silent, white noise. Fuck it, fuck it. Panic takes over your next actions, it pushes you over the edge. Closing your eyes, your head hangs low and you say the last words. “Yoonoh.”, you start, closing your eyes even more, forcing your eyelids. You feel it, the sudden presence right behind you, you fucking feel it. Your heart picks up right them, you never felt it pump so quickly against your ribcage. Heat burns your cheeks, your ears, your back. Unconsciously, your head hangs lower, shoulders rise up in a protective, natural reaction.

It truly feels like someone’s right here, with you and yet, you refuse to look. What the fuck are you doing, why the fuck are you doing this ? A hiccup, the outline of a cry tumbles from your lips. Ah, how the fear managed to wash over you like the rising tide eating at the shore. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. Teeth tight against each other, your jaw grows sore as you feel the heat of the small candle at your side. Letting your eyes flutter open the slightest bit, it’s when you see the flame violently dance, shaking from different sides that you decide it has to be over, now.

“Yoono- Yoonoh, Yoonoh.”, you blur them out so quickly it’d be funny in another situation, the sounds are barely separated from each other, barely make sense. Your tongue feels heavy, mouth clumsy when you finish the spell of. Your irregular, hard breathing almost keeps you from hearing. Hearing it.

Ah, how long Jaehyun - or Yoonoh - waited and longed for such a moment. Actual hours that felt like years for one of you to summon him properly. And, he has to say, he’s glad you were the one to do it, call him over with your pretty voice, fearful eyes and deadly curiosity. He felt it, the morbid interest peeking in your small body, he knew you would do it the moment you noticed the candle blowing out, he knew you weren’t dumb. See, when Jisung had attempted to summon him, he had almost brought Jaehyun to his mirror, he almost did it. He was so close, so close to it that Jaehyun managed to have a blurry view of the odd scene. Needless to say, the cursed had a good laugh at it but, the anger and frustration he felt at your chicken of a friend still lingered. When was the last time someone summoned him ? Jaehyun does not remember, he doesn’t have any notion of time, he lost it long, long ago. When was the last time he had fun with a foolish human ? He does not remember either but, something tells him he will make it up with you. Jaehyun isn’t alive but, the closest of “alive” he can feel, it’s in moments like this, properly summoned, ready for his deal. Eating your reflection, taking its place easily, the young looking man takes your bedroom in for a second, it’s all in reversed for him who’s stuck in your mirror. Speaking of, he likes it. Big, tall, he notices your name neatly written in what he guesses is red lipstick. Taking your reflection’s place, both his hands lay flat against your palms, kneeled down, he’s significantly taller than you but still, he notices the contourcion in your features, the fear. He loves it, he loves oh so much. The fear, the regret, he adores it all. He knows it’ll be even better once you open your eyes and understand your faith. Mirroring your position, the man doesn’t move, he loves the proximity, how close your face is to his. Wicked smile on his rosy lips, it tugs up at a side, pearly white canine showing, the tip of his tongue rests on the sharp tooth. Oh, he’ll eat you up and savour it just like he did with your reflection.

“Hi, Y/N.”

The reactions, Jaehyun thrives off the reactions. The fear in people’s eyes, the tears, the cries, the shouts, the realisation flashing, twisting people’s features, he fucking gets off of it. He knows what to expect and yet, when you finally open your eyes, barely take in his face and jump back immediately, he chuckles out, he groans happily, excited even. You barely believe it, a man replaces your reflection, he doesn’t follow your movements when you tumble backwards and feel your spine hit your bed, the scream you were about to let out getting knocked out of your lungs. Instead, it’s a loud whine you let out. What the fuck, the actual fuck. Both your hands cover your mouth, Jaehyun notices how shaky they are and cooes, head tilting to the side. What a pretty toy to play with. A knee down, the other leg bent against his chest, the man in the mirror lets his head rest there, patiently waiting for you to finally speak up. Strangely, he’s a patient man, he had some people run away on him, not speak for hours at the shock, even. You think you’re hallucinating, you almost pinch yourself but you know, you’d be awake if this was a dream. The impact of your bed against your back tells you that this, this is real. As much as your brain hates to believe it, takes minutes to process it and still has its doubts, you react just in case. You react out of pure instinct. The bag you use everyday gets pulled next to you and you quickly push a hand inside, looking for one thing only. A young college student needs to protect itself when walking home from late classes, the butterfly knife you wished you’d never have to use finds your fingertips and, when you feel the cold metal, you pull it out.

“Ah-a. Don’t make me mad so quickly, doll.”, the man in your mirror sings, nickname rolling out of his tongue. You think you’re going to throw up, the ball in your throat keeps you from speaking but you don’t let his words scare you. In a swift motion, you open the object and let the blade stand straight towards your mirror. You try, you try your best to seem less afraid, but you’re sure you look foolish to him. And it sure does. A sigh tumbles from the man’s lips, a hand running in his dark brown locks. Thoughts clash and collide in your dizzy, clouded brain but still. He looks...normal almost, if it isn’t for the twisted grin on his lips, the lack of light in his dark eyes.

“Your little knife won’t hurt me.”, he informs you, a small pout on his lips. He stays there, still patiently waiting for you to say something. Though he likes peoples’ reactions, he likes it even better when he hears about their darkest desires, the things that pushed them over the edge, things they graved to the point of summoning him, an entity many deem as fake, a legend. A hand on your floor, you support yourself with it, fearing your body giving out even if you’re already down. Mouth dry, you swallow harshly before finding your tongue again. “What if I break the mirror.”

It’s a threat but oh, it sounds so sweet to the young man. You’re a courageous one, and fierce at that, Jaehyun can already tell and he loves it. Truly, he can not wait ; to break you down little by little, see that same fierceness in your pupils slowly disappear for obedience. There’s a small laugh tumbling from his lips again, cheek rubbing against his knee. “Ouh, she speaks.” Leaning a bit closer to the mirror, the man hums a little, eyes on the sharp blade. “Break it, it won’t do anything to me. Except make me mad.”

For some reason, you believe him. Maybe it’s the daring look he gives you, silently wondering if you’ll have the guts to come closer to him. Clearly, you don’t, staying as far as your bed allows you. Your heart’s still beating too fast against your ribcage, breathing unevenly and you try to focus on your rhythm instead of the man right in front of you. “Come on. Deep breathes, kid.”

There’s something that clicks in your brain at this very moment, your throat seems to unravel and words flow out of your lips, avoiding what a side of your brain still thinks is an illusion. “I- We thought this was a legend, we thought it was fake.”, voice small, you fumble around, hands on your sheet before you find your phone.

“‘it’ and ‘this” has a name.”, the man sternly says, eyes following your mouvements. As said, he saw it all before, the startled look in your eyes when your device went dead in your hand was one he enjoyed a bit too much. “It won’t work.”, he notes in a hum.

“Y-Yoonoh ?”, you hate how it’s a question tumbling from your lips, half hoping one of your friend’s going to erupt out of your closet with a camera. There’s a disappointed sound from him, thumb running on his pink bottom lip, locks falling in front of his eyes. “Haven’t used that name in years. Please, darling. Call me Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun, the sound rings in your ears. Eyes wide, you clench your dead phone around your fingers. “You’re real.”

“As much as you are.”, he’s amused to say the least, lips stretching at a corner. There, he decided to get up, taking advantage of your tall mirror. It’s weird, how he isn’t wearing anything old, dirty, anything you’d think an entity would wear. A black blouse loose on his shoulders, he rolls the fabric to his elbows, what you think are black costume pants on his legs, his shoes you cannot see with the dark fog dancing around him.

“You look...Normal.”, you dumbly let out, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. With other clothes, he’d easily pass as another boy in your campus. Then, he chuckles, you’re cute. It resonates in your small room, a deep dimple craved on each cheek. He seems pleased, standing right in front of your body. Hands in his pocket, he leans a bit forward.

“Oh, doll. What were you expecting ? A big, bloody man ? Old and creepy ?” You nod at that, you surely were not expecting such a young looking man, you weren’t expecting him. “You surely didn’t summon anyone else, then. Does that mean I’m your first ? Ah- cute.”

You don’t really know what comes to you, speaking almost freely to this entity and yet, you’re still afraid. There’s no doubt, the dip in your stomach and the sweat on your palms. “I-...I don’t believe in these kinds of things.”, you tell him without a second thought, without understanding how dumb this might sound.

“Oh, really ? And do you, now ?”, Jaehyun decides he likes being at eye level better, kneeling, resting on his heels, he props his chin inside his palm again. Deep, dark eyes, it’s what strikes you the most. They curl lightly inside, outer corners stretched with what you think is a dark eyeshadow. He grins again, though his eyes never gain any light. Your brain surrounders, finally coming around the fact that this, might be real. You stay silent, bringing your knees to your chest again.

“Oh, she does.”, voice stained, gravy, he whispers out after some seconds of silence. “She believes.”, Jaehyun points out before you do with a breathless chuckle. There’s something twisted about him, you only needed seconds to understand how he fed of your initial fear, how he craved the trembling lips, watery eyes and shaky hands. Now, it seems he wants to play.

“Now, you know what comes with summoning me, hm ?”, you nod at that, slowly coming to the realisation that you, have two wishes. Two possibilities. You could make your life so, so much better, right ? But a side of your brain still dismisses all of this as fake, you doubt Jaehyun’s powers for a moment. “Two wishes.”, you tell him and he nods, pleased.

Pearly white teeth glow at his carnal smile, pupils slowly growing until his irises almost disappear. “A deal, unbreakable. You, will be sealed to me. Me, to you. Forever in the nearest mirror until the contract ends, I will follow as your reflection. Two wishes I shall grant you. One you shall grant me. “No” we both cannot use.”, he hums. Dreaded, realization falls onto your shoulders, the next sentence makes it too real. “Now, doll. Tell me. Tell me your deepest, darkest desires.”, he whispers, leaning closer to the barrier the mirror creates.

The groan he lets out almost startles you, stained and deep, it’s almost a moan. “I’ve been waiting for so long.” Head thrown back, locks of his hair fall backwards as he reveals his pale neck. You gulp down, you never thought about it, only summoned him in an attempt to calm yourself down. “I didn’t...I didn’t think about that.”, you whisper out, slightly frightened at what he might be able to do. Jaehyun’s twisted smile never leaves his face, head tilted to the side.

“Come on, kid. I’m sure you can find something.”, he starts. His right thumb pressed on his fingers, one by one. Cracking his knuckles, the sound’s bone chilling for your ears. “You know, you can wish for anything in the world.” Anything ? That’s the issue, you can’t think of anything right now. Unable to look at the entity in front of you, your eyes travel to the side, fixated on the small paint stain on your floor. What do you want ? You can barely think in such a situation, not when his eyes are fixated on you, intense, dark, awaiting. It’s the pressure that makes you speak again, your brain lashes onto the first thought that comes across your mind.

“Popularity.”, you finally blur out, something the main character of a movie would’ve said. What a fool. Popularity, you don’t even need it, you just think it would be new to have people finally looking at you, knowing who you are.

“Popularity ?”, Jaehyun says, eyebrows raised. He seems slightly taken back, amused still. “I’ve had much, much more interesting wishes.”, he says, dark eyes looking down at you. You hate it, the judgement he shows, you know you could’ve wished for anything else. He does not elaborate on that - yet. Rather, he nods. Palms against each other, his last and fourth fingers are laced together, both thumbs, pointer and middle fingers pointed to the ceiling. There’s a dark glow right behind him, the black fog rather around the entity and, before you can change your wish, his eyes plant right in yours. They glow with something different, his voice resonates in your room, it comes out of all the mirrors you own.

“Then, Y/N. So be it !”

That night, you don’t sleep at all. Or at least, you don’t think you do, even when trying your hardest. If Jaehyun doesn’t appear in your mirror again, if he seems to disappear after your wish in an attempt to let you rest, you’re hyper aware of the fact that he’s here anyways. Jaehyun’s presence lingers, the effect he has in your dorm is undeniable, you can not push it away. Air dry, atmosphere tense, he’s everywhere and anywhere. “Forever in the nearest mirror until the contract ends.”, that’s exactly what he said. If he’s watching you sleep ? Is he, himself, sleeping ? Does he even need to ? Questions collide, none of them find an answer and rather, create new ones in their wake.

Fatigue crashes on your body at once when you finally get yourself to blow the candle out and turn the lights of your bedroom off, so does the anxiety. Finally realising what you’ve just done, what you just got yourself into. It barely feels real, minutes go by on the clock and, when you’re not glaring at the numbers casted on your ceiling, you’re fearfully looking at your mirror. For the first time since you moved here, you hate this mirror. From the placement right in front of your bed to the size, you wonder why your campus thought this was a good idea.

At some point, you do have to rest with your head right under your covers, finding a small bit of comfort with the duvet around your body. Maybe you dove back and forth into Morpheus’ arms but, your body shakes itself awake every time, almost giving you a mini heart attack. Soon enough, the lack of light gets replaced with the pale sunlight of the early morning, allowing you to catch a few minutes of sleep or so. Even if it varies with age, scientists say a human is able to live without sleep for around eleven days. You wonder if your body is able to go with a day of sleep. Thinking about it now, sleep deprivation comes with illusions and, you swear you sa-.

“Y/N ?”, Jaemin’s voice rings right next to you, forcefully pulling you out of your too loud and invasive of thoughts. Eyes unfocused on your meal, your attention turns towards your friend in a second. From the silence in your group and the slight smile dancing on Jaemin’s lips, you guess he has been calling for you for a few seconds now. “Oh, sorry. Yeah ?”, you mumble out, placing the wooden chopsticks in your half full box, one you barely touched.

“Dude, not to be rude but you look awful. You good ?”, Jeno, right in front of you, interjects before anyone else can speak. The young man looks genuinely concerned, eyebrows furrowed. You can’t help but notice, his eye bags don’t look too bad for a college student. They’re also, nowhere as bad as yours.

“Yeah. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”, sighing a little, you let your cheek rest against your fist. You could fall asleep right then and there, on this very bench. The sun isn’t too harsh on your skin, no mirrors and, most importantly, you’re surrounded by your friends. Taking an entire picnic table in the middle of your campus, chinese food was bought but, you couldn’t bring yourself to eat more than a few bites, head heavy.

There’s a laugh from Donghyuck, who just finished his food in one go. “Is it because of that dumb legend ?”

“Dumb legend”, something doesn’t feel right when your friend lets the words out so, so carelessly. You can’t deny the shiver that runs down your spine at that moment, though you don’t see any mirrors anywhere close. Another uncomfortable silence takes place in the middle of the table, before Jisung speaks, finally. “I honestly felt weird yesterday night.”, he mumbles out, letting the tip of his chopsticks hit the bottom of his box a few times, like he’s embarrassed to admit it. It doesn’t shock you that he did, that the one who attempted to summon Jaehyun felt his lingering presence, the aftermath of not properly executing a ritual. What take you back, are Chenle and Jaemin’s next words.

“Same. I almost tried that shit myself.”, Chenle says, half joking. In your half asleep state, your eyes widen for a second. Straightening your back, Jaemin beats you at the fast talker. “Dude, same ? I just wanted to try and see what would happen, you know ?”, he says. Your hand wraps around his arm, catching his attention. A little “You too ?” falls from his lips and you can only nod, looking over at Chenle.

So they felt it too. The sudden feeling of not being alone, not being the crazy one. “I thought I was making things up.”, you gasp. You have to say, in another situation, Donghyuck’s face would’ve been funny. He looks so, so disappointed when you start listing the weird coincidence you and your two friends experienced the night prior. From the change in temperature and the feeling of being watched, Renjun and Jeno watch and listen, horrified. “But obviously, I didn’t try it.”, Jaemin adds, and you almost feel like disappearing. “Yeah, yeah...Same. Just didn’t sleep well.”, you mimic, and it seems to convince your friends.

So they felt it too and, you were apparently the only one to follow your feeling, the only one that compulsively tried it out. You hate it, maybe you should’ve texted one of them, called them or even went to one of your friend’s dorms to sleep and you wouldn’t have been in such a situation. What a dumb move, what the slight confidence and curiosity had you summon, you almost let your forehead rest against the old wood. You almost do, if it isn’t for all your friends simultaneously turning their head to the side.

Silence falls yet again in your group as you all look, slightly confused at the young man standing right next to you. Bright red hair, eyebrow slit, bold fashion style, everyone in this campus knows him as Lee Taeyong. See, if schools have their famous clique, the Heather and whatever is the masculine equivalent, you thought it all stopped once in university. You thought wrong. On your first visit, you quickly understood who exactly were the famous and unaccessible guys. Taeyong, was one of them. From his intimidating looks, ever changing hair color, sharp features and deep voice, he had everyone’s attention. Needless to say, you never saw him from so, so close.

“Hey...Looking for something ?”, ah Donghyuck. Always the bold, the lifesaver. Sipping on his bubble tea, he looks straight at the oldest who barely gives him any attention.

“Yes, actually.”, the red haired answers, gaining a few confused looks from your group. Looking at Jaemin for a second, you silently wonder if any of your friends know the Lee Taeyong enough for him to let himself be seen in your company. It seems he doesn’t understand either, quickly raising his shoulders. Catching your straw between your lips, you slowly sip onto the last drop of your juice, curious.

“Y/N ?”, the dance student asks, looking straight into your eyes. It’s strange, how his eyes only manage to make you shift a little on your seat. You have to say, you did not know he knew your name, even was aware of your existence. Sure, him and Johnny were friends but, you doubt your friend told him about you. Still sucking on the last drops, you nod slowly. “I’m hosting a party this Sunday, are you coming ?”

You choke on the liquid. Uh ? What’s going on ? You think it’s the lack of sleep that makes you hear things, but he doesn’t seem to mind and continues. “To celebrate the end of exam season. You’re Johnny’s friend, right ? He’ll send you the address.”

And, just like that, the oldest smiles down at you and leaves. He leaves and lets your friends glare at you for answers, answers you do not have.

Or maybe, you do. Wishing for popularity, you almost forgot about it. Was that how it began, people you barely know inviting you and not your friends to parties ? “What the fuck just happened ?”, asks Renjun, almost turning around to glare at Taeyong who sits with his friends, giving you a quick look.

“I have no idea.”

On any other normal, ordinary day, you would’ve opened your door without a second thought, mechanically almost. Throwing your bag at the foot of your bed before letting your body fall right in the middle of the mattress after a long, long day. But, your life is apparently far, far from ordinary since last night. Practically stuck in front of your dorm’s door, your fist unconsciously clenches the leather strap of your backpack. Knuckles turning white, it’s almost like you’re gripping the last bits of your sanity. Once you enter the four walls of what once was your safe space, you can only guess what is going to wait for you.

Anyways, you cannot sleep right in front of your door, you can’t work on the dirty floor of your hallway, right ? It takes another rush of courage for you to push the handle down and finally allow yourself to enter your dorm. Even if you were ready for anything to happen, the sound of his voice once you close your door makes you jump back against the wood. “Ah, doll. Finally.”, it’s sultry, deep, it follows the look on his eyes when you carefully step towards your bed, second guessing his next actions.

How are you supposed to act when you have an entity living in your mirror ? You wish Google could answer this question, you really do. Quickly glaring at the man in front of you, you’re a lot less scared now that the sun freely enters your bedroom, enough for you to notice a few more details that you might have missed the night prior. Victorian clothes, the tip of his fingers a dark grey as they dance on his jawline, Jaehyun still has the same cocky smile on his rosy lips.

“Had a taste of popularity yet ?”, he asks, though he already knows the answer very well. Non-verbal, you keep an eye on your mirror while letting your bag fall on the floor, awkwardly sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Uh, yeah.”, you let out, fingernails slightly gazing over the skin of your arm. You had a feeling it was him or rather, the wish you had blurred out hours before. It had to be, right ? Sure, Johnny knows Taeyong but you doubt he invites all his friend’s friends. Even, you and Johnny weren’t close enough and barely hung out, keeping your friendship almost strictly virtually. Not to point out the fact that the young man only invited you and did not even have the courtesy to invite the rest of your group.

Finally, you decide to take your shoes off, scooting back to the middle of your bed, wood slightly cracking under your mouvements. Here, you believe you can have your eyes on the entity at any moment, just in case. What a strange situation, you don’t even know if you can work properly in such conditions, let alone take a shower and sleep peacefully.

“Darling, you don’t look too happy with your wish.”, the young man notes, slight amusement dancing in his voice. Apparently, Jaehyun has a habit of squatting to sit down; elbow on his knee, head in his palm, he quickly raises his eyebrows at you. Isn’t it weird ? How he is still here, asking questions like an old - weird - friend shaking up on a friend. Maybe, your view on entities might be flawed, oriented by pop culture but, you sure weren’t expecting anything like this.

“I’m tired.”, you simply say, clearly not prepared to have a casual conversation with the entity you summoned. Picking at a loose thread on your jeans, a sigh leaves your lips the moment you grab onto your phone and notice how, even now, it won’t turn on, nice. You don’t dare point it out, though.

“Oh, kid. I can tell.”, your eyes quickly look up at his words, half in misbelief. Clearly, he doesn’t care for the daggers your eyes are throwing at him, tinted fingers twirling the dense fog around him. “You look close to death. And believe me, I saw my fair share of people on the bridge between our world and everything beyond.”

Your death glare quickly turns to a surprised, taken back one, clearly offended. Apparently, the young man finds amusement in this again, a quiet chuckle tumbling from his lips. How could he laugh, probably knowing he’s the reason you barely slept last night. Fighting with the entity stuck in your mirror, yet another thing you never even thought you’d experience.

“You’re the reason why I look like this ! I-I barely slept tonight.”, your voice audibly quiets down the moment you understand the tone you’re using on a creature you can’t begin to understand, one that has powers beyond your comprehension. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to mind. Rather, his smile twists again, he likes them feisty.

“I know.”, he simply says, batting his eyelashes, they’re long, dark. “But you, doll. Do you realise I can not do anything to you ?”, he asks and, you have to look to the side for a moment, Jaehyun continues. “I’m stuck in this mirror, I can not reach you.”

Jaehyun can be lying. He probably is. After all, you aren’t aware of the totality of his abilities, he’s born from a dark ritual, meant to grant any desire, as twisted as they may be. Then again, why would he be lying ? If he could reach you, you think he could’ve tried something the night before. “You can’t ?”, biting down on your lower lip, you ask a bit quietly, raising your shoulders instinctively.

“Actually, I can lean out of any mirror and reach anything at arm length but, it takes a lot of energy out of me.”, Jaehyun says, running a hand in his locks and, you have to say, the sheer thought of seeing him reach out of your mirror has your blood leaving your face, surely a sight you don’t want to witness. You don’t even ask for a demonstration, you’d rather keep the little sanity you still have now, without the image of an entity leaning out to your world. Does that mean he can reach out and grab the bag you left on the floor ? You almost lean down and tug it towards you and away from your mirror but, decide against it. At the very least, you now know that you can sleep without him walking out of your mirror.

“Do you...Do you need to sleep ? You said it took energy.” What comes to you again ? Asking questions so freely, you guess having answers will help you be less scared. Bringing your knees to your shoulders, your body relaxes a bit when you notice the entity looking at you, seemingly taken back by a human asking him questions. Little do you know, Jaehyun doesn’t remember the last time someone wanted to know more about himself, he might as well.

“I do not need to sleep, I feed off people summoning me.”, he simply explained, getting up. You wonder for a second if he isn’t bored in your mirror, it seems like he does not have anything to do in there, you might even pity him for a second. “As long as people summon me, I exist. Once people forget about me, I’ll be gone.”, Jaehyun utters, slowly walking from one end of your mirror to another.

“Isn’t it...Boring in there ?”, you wonder out loud, head tilted to the side. If you saw an entity being vulnerable, for the shortest of seconds, Jaehyun regains his attitude pretty quickly. There’s a laugh, a loud one you fear someone else will hear as he readjusts his rings on his fingers, one by one, before facing you again.

“Oh, no. See, usually, people know what they’re going to wish for, their desires are dark, thrilling. Darling, yours are just plain and uninteresting.”, the entity notes, quietly. The gasp you let out at this is almost comical, though the young man doesn’t even let a reaction out. Eyebrows furrow, you almost have the reflex to throw something at your mirror.

“I wasn’t- I didn’t even think it would work !”, you blur out a bit too loudly, letting your knees fall on your mattress. “I don’t have any dark, twisted desires, it’s not my fault !”, quickly losing yourself in excuses and defenses, you don’t notice Jaehyun’s smile growing wider at your attempts, passing back and forth in your mirror. “Even ! What did the others wish for ?”, you ask, clearly annoyed by the one way argument you just had.

The question seems to pick the entity’s interest, you finally notice the habit he has of facing you when something interests him and, on the contrary, mindlessly passing until you’re done speaking when he isn’t interested at all. “Ah, what did the others wish for ? Doll, I do not think you’re ready to hear humanity’s most twisted impulses.”

Curiosity and pride poked, you quickly blur back, crossing your legs. “I summoned you. I think I can hear it.” Eyes narrow, the young man takes a few seconds to judge, “Don’t you have some class work to do ? Friends to see ? I do not know, church to attend ?” You almost laugh at that, almost forget what time he probably comes from to speak in such a way. “No, I don’t.” It’s probably the slight determination in your voice mixed with the urge to tell his stories that does it for Jaehyun. Though he sighs, it’s almost a content one he has while remembering the endless acounters he had. “What do you think people summon me for ?”, he suddenly asks, starting again with his infinite passing.

“Money, power.”, you start, and he only nods without looking at you. Suddenly, Jaehyun disappears and you almost back against the head of your bed, if it isn’t for his voice coming from the smaller mirror in your dressing table. God, how you feared it was haunted when you first bought it, even if it was straight out of ikea. You guess that now, it is. “Power.” Jaehyun eventually goes to the mirror in your bathroom, seemingly effortlessly, “Money.” You hear his voice resonate, even in this room full of furniture. Finally, he comes back again to your main mirror, the one you summoned him on. “Love.”, a lion in his cage.

Only then, do you notice your name still written in red lipstick, one you should probably clean off if you weren’t so scared of coming close to him.

“Humans are greedy, so greedy to have what isn’t meant to be theirs. They’d go to great length for a twisted illusion, a flawed reality their selfish heart craves.”, he speaks through gritted teeth, it sends a shiver down your spine, makes the atmosphere colder. “I’ve had a prince, once. The second born, far far from the throne.”, Jaehyun starts, a finger tapping on his chin. “Do you know what he wished for, once he had the guts to summon me ?”, the entity suddenly asks, abruptly turning towards you. Taken back, all you can do is shake your head from left to right, hands gripping the fabric of your jeans. He told you, that people summoning him gave him more energy. You wonder if staying in the presence of the one calling him gives him more too, the effects he has on your small dorm are even more noticeable now than last night.

“For his entire family’s death.”, Jaehyun related.

He says this simply, so simply. If he notices the slight shift in your breathing, he doesn’t point it out and continues.

“Such a naïve, naïve boy.”, Jaehyun hums, a slight pout on his lips. “He makes me think of you. He didn’t think it would work. But, unlike you, when he saw me, he knew what he wanted.” There’s a slight pause, where Jaehyun hums, like he’s remembering some details. “‘Tell me your deepest, darkest desires’, I said. ‘Kill them all’, the fool immediately said.” You have to say, you’re a bit captivated by how he reenacts the scene, hands flying in gestures.

“Did you ?”, you ask almost dumbly, eyes wide. It’s like your brain still hasn’t processed everything the entity in front of you can do. It’s only when the entity gives you an empty look that you let a small, “Oh” tumblr from your lips. Obviously, he did. It’s the morbid curiosity, the one that almost has you asking how he did it but, you push it away. You convince yourself that you don’t want to know nor hear it and thankfully, Jaehyun continues before you can open your mouth. “Poor thing, he wasn’t on the throne for long.”, the man notes. For the first time, something dances in his eyes. Something he’s hiding from you has his lips parting in a quiet chuckle, like he’s remembering an old joke.

He’s capable of murder. That, you know now. A dip in your stomach, it’s probably the way he talks about it so nonchalantly that frightens you the most. You don’t doubt, the entity probably saw and experienced a lot. Now, can you blame him ? He’s tied to a ritual, probably forced to grant wishes. You wonder, what would happen if he doesn’t act on them. Is he at fault for all the things he did ? You almost question your own morals.

“What do people ask for the most ?”, you wonder out loud. Jaehyun doesn’t seem to mind the questions and, the lack of homework, phone and intimacy has you stuck with him. Might as well. The entity seems to pounder for a bit, you think you might go crazy only with the way he keeps walking back and forth in your small mirror.

“Love.”, he finally tells you, never stopping his steps. “But it’s never true love, it’s never as perfect as they pictured it.”

So, he’s capable of forcing feelings on someone ? For the nth time, you wonder exactly what he’s capable of, where his powers stop. And here you were, asking for popularity. Sure, it could help in the long run but, you could’ve asked for so much better. But, you still have a second wish, right ? It’s there, suddenly, that you remember why you and your friends tried to summon him in the first place. Eyes wide, you move a bit closer to the mirror, though keeping some distance.

“Is it true ? Eric ?”, you ask suddenly. It’s all because your friend talked about him, all because of a dumb rumor he heard.

“Eric ?”, Jaehyun needs a few seconds to place the name again, furrowed eyebrows relaxing after a moment. The name seems to bring some discomfort into his features and, though it disappeared after a moment, you still notice it. Silent for a moment, you press on anyways. “That he summoned you, it’s true, isn’t it ?”

Oh, how you probably shouldn’t have asked. If Jaehyun is able to control his emotions, his features turning cold, unreadable, the effect he has on your dorm can not go unnoticed. Air cold, dense, you don’t take long to understand his experience with Eric probably was not the greatest. But again, isn’t Jaehyun a powerful entity ? Why would his reaction be so radical to such a normal human ?

“He did.”, the young man finally says, cold, abrupt.

Is he the reason why Eric went at the top of his class ? It probably is but, what you’re most curious about is why exactly, the old college student turned so...weird. Sure, you don’t doubt the experience of successfully summoning a demon might...change someone but, it seems Jaehyun didn’t have him in his heart either. Did something happen between them ? Did Eric not grant Jaehyun’s final wish ? Were the rumors true ? Your brain’s deciding between asking and dropping the subject and, as you’re about to open your mouth again, the entity beats you at it.

“Shouldn’t you go take a shower ? Rest early tonight.” and, just like that, he disappears from your mirror.

People have told you many times.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

You should not be here, at all. You’re supposed to have a major class right at this moment. But, a teacher being sick and a lack of substitute teachers appeared like a sign of the universe to you. See, Jaehyun’s abrupt disappearance left you with more questions, questions that only duplicated the moment you finally took a well deserved shower - after covering your mirror with a towel, just in case.

What happened with Eric ? Probably the last thought before sleep knocked you out in mere minutes. And really, the universe wouldn’t have made it so easy to find him if they didn’t want you to search, right ? A few texts here and there, Johnny yet again managed to help you more than he can imagine. Eric’s address was sent to you fifteen minutes after your class was officially cancelled and, you took the chance. Faking having some questions about both his major and job, Johnny didn’t ask any more questions.

And here you were. Right in front of Eric’s building.

The richer, nicer era, one you never visited before. After all, you don’t know anyone living there. Pretty, tall and new buildings, small parks, high end stores. One can only dream of living in such a nice era a year after leaving university.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”, you think again. In front of the old university student’s building, glass doors pushed open to reveal a pristin, clear and minimalist lobby. “But satisfaction brought it back.”, you tell yourself.

What are you doing here ? You don’t really know. All you can really understand and form in your fogged up brain is that Eric, him, might be the only one able to understand you at this very moment. Maybe he has answers to the questions you have and are too afraid to ask. What could go wrong ? A lot, actually. But you -once again - decide to act on impulse rather than think about it. It’s a slight confidence you have that goes to your head, fogs any other rational thought.

The lobby’s empty, calm. An abstract beige and white painting hung at your right, you immediately notice the ceiling high mirror on your left. Your reflection, it’s almost weird to see it. It has you doubting, doubting that this, is even your image here. But, you push the thought aside quickly, walking towards the little letter boxes. Kim Eric, Kim Eric. You don’t take too long to find his name tag, right next to his apartment number. Right at the top of the building, you can’t even begin to imagine the price he must’ve payed.

Nonetheless, you make your way towards the single elevator. There, another mirror. You might think Eric was just a weird kid, that Jaehyun never had anything to do with this. After all, wouldn’t he want to live somewhere without mirrors if the rumors were true ?

Facing the metal doors, you turn away from the mirror, head moving to the calm tune of the metal box. Unconsciously avoiding the glass yourself, you’re standing closer to the opening than usual.

What you do not see, is your reflection not following your movement, glaring into your skull.

That weird feeling of being watched again, isn’t it ? It creeps up your spine and you try your best at pushing it aside, forcing your brain to focus on the quiet melody. A small part of your brain fears, if you turn around right now, would Jaehyun be facing you ? He’s everywhere, you’re aware of that and yet, decide to cover this truth.

Thankfully, the elevator doesn’t stop until the very last floor, letting you escape the small cubicle before you can feel too uncomfortable, before the courage wears off and has you overthinking. And, only then do you really realise what you are doing. Visiting someone you don’t know at all, only heard rumors about only because the two of you happened to summon the same entity.

Should you really be doing this ? It seems Jaehyun doesn’t have Eric in his heart, wouldn’t he be mad ? But, he said he couldn’t do anything to you, you just have to do it, for closure. Do it, for closure-. Before your brain can stop you, you take the few steps towards Eric’s door, 165 written in golden letters on the pale wooden door. Clean carpet, big windows letting you have a breathtaking view on the area, you wonder for a second time how much money he must make to afford this place. Bringing your fist up to the door, you knock a first time.

Silence. A kind of deception slowly takes over your body but, you guess you should’ve thought about it, maybe he’s working or, just out, like a regular citizen.

Pure silence falls and you now wonder if you did not misread the signs, if you really should be here. Head hanging low, you’re almost about to mentally beat yourself up before your eyes fall on it. Covered by a thing, white sheet, something’s placed right against the wall. Neatly packed, you for a second think it’s a set of paintings. But, it’s the smallest of seconds, you don’t need more to understand right then.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”, you think for the nth time, but you act on it, yet again. Eric isn’t here anyways, no one would notice. Slightly leaning down, you take the sheet between your fingers and lift it up. Paintings, thin pieces of wood, it could’ve been anything but hélas, covered under the fabric is what you feared most. Different mirrors, different sizes, obviously from different rooms. There’s a sigh that tumbles from your lips, are you going to end just like this ? Scared of mirrors, avoiding them ? It’s just when you get back up that you think your heart might jump out of your body.

“Excuse me ? What are you doing here ?”, deep, breathless voice comes from the stairs you didn’t even notice. Jumping away from the door, a hand lands on your beating heart, a soundless gasp at the border of your parted lips. Eric stands clueless.He’s an average sized man, clearly out of shape, slender eyes with a prominent european nose. He does not know you but you, on the other hand, saw pictures of him. If he looked weird a few years ago, it might be worse now. If you look out of place with your regular, broke college student clothes, he does even more. Dirty, washed out and oversized t-shirt, long, brown greasy hair, he grips the iron next to him. He took the stairs, all the way to his apartment to avoid the mirror, it strikes you there. Slight anxiety takes over you, you didn’t expect him to be like this, you didn’t expect to feel so...off.

“I-uh. Eric ?”, you ask, already knowing the answer. Slightly taken back, you let the way to his door free for him to walk, not knowing how to act towards him. He, still seems distant, rightfully so. Wavy, dry hair brushed out, his runs a hand in it before fishing for his keys.

“Are you selling something ? I’m not interest-.”, he mumbles. You notice the bags under his eyes, dried lips. He almost looks sick, he acts like an old person in a young body.

“Oh, no ! My name’s Y/N. We’re from the same university.”, you tell him. He doesn’t look so convinced, slowly walking towards his door. Even when he puts his key in, he still has an eye on you, like he fears being robbed right there.

“Uh ? And what do you want ?”, the man groans out. He has you taking a step back again. How are you supposed to tell him exactly ? Shit, you didn’t think about that, at all. A “Hey, we summoned the same entity !” surely won’t do it. The lack of words from your side seems to annoy him quite quickly. Taking a step in his apartment, he immediately used the door to shelter himself, only letting his upper body be seen. He doesn’t look happy, at all. And yet, he has such a pretty apartment, right ? It’s only when he turns his light on that you see the state of the inside. All windows closed and blocked, clothes, empty boxes of instant noodles on the floor alongside a bunch of papers, it looks like a madman’s home. Even his home gives you weird vibes and suddenly, a part of you doesn’t want to be here. anymore.

Eric notices your wandering eyes and, it’s here he has enough, closing his door a little more. “Listen, Y/N. I don’t have your time right now, so-.”

For a second time, you cut him off. “It’s about Jaehyun.”, you blur about without another thought.

His annoyed look turns frightened in seconds. The name seems to bring back a lot, things you don’t doubt he was trying to get away from. Glossy eyes wide, chapped lips parted, he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, or like he just saw a ghost. Fuck, what did you just do ? He caughts a bit but, he isn’t as good as the entity when it comes to hiding his emotions. “I-I don’t want to talk about it. It’s just a dumb legend anyways.” Oh, he’s trying to deny, deflect. The moment he’s about to close the door, you act quickly and let your shoe block the door.

“I did it too.”, you tell him, almost breathless. It almost feels good, to say it but, it lasts for mere milliseconds. Clearly, it doesn’t feel as good for the oldest. You think he might cry when the words process at this very moment, a sound tumbles from his lips. However, no words are said. His eyes fall upon the sheet covered glass at his shoes and, before you can understand, he manages to shut his door in your face. He sounded paranoiac, looked like a maniac. Is that what happens when dealing with Jaehyun, will you end up like this ? Surely, he was the reason why the old university student turned this way, that’s what the rumors say.

“Leave !”, he shouts and, if anyone’s in the second apartment, you’re sure they can hear.

“But, Eric, I just wan-.”, you try, desperate.

Curiosity killed the cat.

“Right now !”

Curiosity killed the cat.

“You vazey, you’re an absolute idiot.”

Unlike last night, you don’t think twice before opening the door to your dorm, almost slamming the iron knob right on your thin wall. Just like you thought, Jaehyun barks at you the moment the door’s closed, barely waiting for the lock to click. He knows, he knows you tried to get answers from Eric, there’s no denying it.

“You were there.”, it’s a statement more than a question, one you throw at the same time you do your bag, sliding on the floor before it abruptly stops when it hits your mirror. If that’s even possible, the entity gets closer to the border between his world and your own, gritted teeth has him speaking lowly. “I told you, forever in the nearest mirror.” A dark promise, one you now understand the meaning of. He’s linked to you, whether you want ot admit it or not, it has your body covered in goosebumps.

“You shouldn’t have gone there.”, he continues, sighing heavily through his nose. Clearly, he didn’t think you would visit the old college student, let alone try to question him and tell him about your experience. “He’s mad, he’s dangerous.”, the entity continues. And that’s what does it for you. Abruptly turning towards the mirror, it’s like you quickly forget about the power he holds.

Anger bubbles up in your chest, it pushes words out of your mouth, “You’re the one who drove him mad !”

If you fear the entity, you do not show it. Heart pounding, palms sweaty, you keep a straight face. You’re ready for anything and everything. He might scream, make your room even colder, use his powers but, you don’t expect his reaction. He laughs, he laughs almost maniacally. So close to the mirror, the entity shoves his hands in his pockets, leaning closer until you think he might come out.

Jaehyun could’ve said many things at this moment, he could’ve said the truth. But, unbeknownst to you, his feelings take over. He’s a creature of anger, pitiness, even.

“He knew the deal.”, he spits out. Voice going deeper, you fear it might turn inhuman.

“And so, you decided to drive him mad ? He looks miserable.”, you bark back. You’re too far gone to stop yourself right now. The pounding of your heart rings in your ears, it clouds your brain and has you repeating the same sentence again and again but, you never voice it. Would he do the same to you ?

“I could’ve done much, much worse, doll.” It’s a whisper, like a promise of things he might just do to you if you keep acting in such a way. The nickname doesn’t have anything sweet in it, it’s harsh, a slap in the face. Swallowing harshly, you keep your eyes on the entity, faking a lack of expression, a lack of fear. Clearly, he likes it, a small smirk tugging at his lips but nothing shines in his eyes. If you thought he was normal the night before, if you pitied him hours ago, it’s quite hard now that he looks even more twisted than Eric.

“And what, exactly ?”, you dare to ask, keeping your voice firm. Jaehyun’s smile only turns wider, head leans to the side. A few locks of his hair fall in front of his piercing eyes, he judges your reactions.

“Come closer.”, he starts, keeping his voice quiet. “And I’ll tell you.”, the entity gets right back at you, daring light in his eyes. You know, you know he can reach out at a certain point but you take a step closer anyways. Your heart starts pumping faster, threatening to burst out of your ribcage, it creates white noise, blurs your eyes, restricts your air ways.

“She’s a daring one.”, Jaehyun notes, twisted smirk. He’s close, so close. You’ve never been this close to him, ever. If he was out, you would’ve been able to feel the air he blows out on the bridge of your nose, if he wasn’t an entity, you’d be able to see the colorful particle in his eyes. His tongue rests on his pointy canine, lightly traveling to his lip.

“I saw it, the pity in your eyes.”, he starts, a sort of anger in his voice but, you do not flinch. Keeping your eyes on his, you blink slowly, trying to calm your cardiac rhythm, breaking slowly through your nose. “Do you think I’m all alone, here ?”, Jaehyun asks. But, he does not even need an answer. By the way your eyebrows furrow for a second, he understands you never thought about it.

“Ah, stupid fucking kid.”, he growls lowly, you stay silent. “Do you remember the prince I told you about ?” This time, you simply nod, remember when the young looking man told you that he didn’t even stay on the throne for too long. Jaehyun laughs again, the sound lightly resonating in your room, coming out of the different mirrors you own. “He’s trapped with me, here. I’m not alone.”, Jaehyun explains and, the light that flashs in his eyes tells you that he isn’t lying. Yet, you question it. Mouth agape, eyebrows furrow, the attempt you made to calm your heart fails. “That can’t be.”

“You seem to underestimate my powers, doll.”, and finally, like he’s letting you breathe a bit more, he leans back. He giggles there, both his hands behind his head as he lets his torso fall backwards. You’re not even able to form a proper sentence in your mind and, when he senses the lack of words, the entity continues, unbothered by the reality of his actions. People wouldn’t willingly go in the mirror, if that was even possible, right ?

“I know what you’re thinking. Ah- it’s so easy to read you, darling. Is it possible for a human to join me ?”, he voices your question without you having to. “You can but, only for a few minutes. If you don’t leave quickly enough, you’re trapped here.” It’s the realisation crashing over you that makes you take a step back. Finally, when your brain goes on high alert, when your body tenses and your senses heighten at the risk, you find your words again. “No one would willingly do that.”, you blur out, trying to find a loophole somewhere. Surely, he’s bluffing, trying to scare you, right ?

“Doll, you seem to forget that I have a wish too.”, his words have you dizzy but, your body isn’t able to back away again, forced to stay close enough, too close. “It’s simple, really. I wish for a dance and, they have to. When the dance’s over, they rarely have time to run back to their little, real world.” The brunette chuckles again, deep, gravy, bone chilling.

“You don’t believe me ?”, Jaehyun continues, faking being hurt. He leans forward again, captivating you with his deep eyes. “Do you want to see them all ?”, he asks, lips in a wide smile. He could very much do this to you too, would he ? You shake your head from left to right quickly, fear clear in your eyes, he traps people. God only knows how many. You think you might choke on a cry right then, you don’t think you’ve ever been so scared in your life. Trapped, he seems to do it without a second thought, without an ounce of regret. What did you get yourself into ?

“Good. Good girl.”, he cooes. “Know your place.”

For a second time, his face’s too close to you. Having you so close probably gives him more energy and, as the seconds pass, you think you might pass out on the floor. You even think he might lean out of the mirror, like he said he could but, before you can open your mouth again, say anything that could help your case, he beats you at it. “Didn’t they tell you to be careful ? Curiosity killed the cat.” and just like that, he disappears again, you fall into your knees.

In the middle of your first year in university, you found out you didn’t really like frat parties. But see, if they can give you a reason to avoid your dorm, you’ll take anything. Anything, really.

Loud music blasted through the house, a crowd of people you barely know, you don’t even think you ever saw this place without the party, multicolor lights. You also think you already wore this dress for another one of their parties, earlier on your first year but, you didn’t really think twice about your clothes today. You’ve been here for an hour at best and, the only thing you did was drink a bunch of water, checking your phone every now and then. Unfortunately, none of your friends were able to make it and, a good part didn’t want to come as they weren’t even invited.

Leaving you all alone in a party full of popular people you never ever spoke to before. You didn’t really blame them. But anyways, wasn’t that what you wanted, popularity ? This is part of it, right ? Fuck, how can you hate something you wished for ? How can you hate it so, so much. Maybe you should leave ? You don’t even like the music they’re playing or the drinks they’re mixing together. You even thought about paying for a hotel but, you know Jaehyun wouldn’t have any difficulty finding you again, he’s attached to you.

Maybe you should take all your mirrors out, just like Eric did but again, you still have a wish. He still has one, you can’t see yourself leaving in fear for the rest of your life. Dodging every mirror, acting like a maniac. It’s when you’re in deep thought, leaning against the kitchen counter that Johnny decides to join you.

“Hey, Y/N ! You made it !”, the tallest has to speak loudly over the music, holding a red cup in his hand. His everlasting smile on his face, he managed to get a tired one out of you. “Yeah…”, you start, taking a sip of your drink, it surely didn’t help your dry throat. You’re not even having fun here, you look like you’re waiting for someone who’s never going to come. “I didn’t even know Taeyong knew me. I was a bit surprised when he invited me.”, you blur out, trying your best to make a conversation.

“Actually, he told me he saw you a few times and thought you were cute.”, your friend says, a cheeky smile on his lips. The confession has heat burning your cheeks for a moment, lips parted. Taeyong ? The Lee Taeyong ? You think your friend’s pulling a prank on you but you know him enough, Johnny wouldn’t be the type to do that.

“I-. Wait, really ?”, you ask, dumbfounded. It’s the effect of your wish, you know it but, you clearly weren’t prepared for that. Do people like you now...Because of this ? Without knowing you, without ever talking to you ?

“Yeah, really ! You should go talk to him.”, you’ve known Johnny to be kind of the Cupid of his friend group and, he takes the role quite well. Pointing at a corner, you can distinguish one of their couches, occupied by Johnny’s friend group. Before you even know it, a gentle hand’s on your shoulder, helping you through the crowd, sweaty bodies dancing mindlessly, such a cliché.

You can’t even find a way to escape. Finally, you’re right in front of the said group. Boys and girls, all sat on the couch, some on the others, you would want to sit on someone in such heat. Some girls are hanging out with them too, flashing you a nice smile as you awkwardly stand next to Johnny, like a lost puppy.

“Look who I found !”, Johnny happily shouts, catching everyone’s attention. Then, you decide you hate it, too many eyes on you. A girl you don’t even know the name of sits straight and waves, “Y/N ! It’s nice to see you, it’s been so long !” Do you know her ? Her face’s vaguely familiar but at best, you might have seen her during a first year party. You hate it, entirely. All you can do is nod slowly as you feel your heart pics up, your palms grow sweaty. Taeyong’s in the middle, legs spread on the couch, he has one of his friends moving from his seat to give you some space. “Here, sit !”, he invites with a warm smile.

What can you do ? You obey, sitting down next to the young man. You need to sit down anyways, feeling the heat crash over your body, it makes your head light, your mouth dry. You sit in fear you’ll pass out. You can almost feel the energy being drained out of you. Maybe popularity isn’t for you. The music seems to fade away, just as your heart pumps in your ears again. It rings, something familiar now. Has the room always been this size ?

“Y/N ? What game do you prefer ?”, from the tone Johnny has, it’s probably the second time he’s asking you this and, before you can even find another solution or, the strength to socialise, you get up. He flashes you a look, Taeyong a curious one you can’t really see as he’s behind you.

“Can you please hold my drink, I need to go to the bathroom.”, you blur out.

“Oh, sure !”, always the nice one. Poor Johnny, you almost shove your glass in his hand, slashing some water on his fingers as he covers the opening. “First door on your right when you take these stairs.”, he says.

If you could, you would’ve ran to the bathroom. Your steps are stopped when you cut right through the dancing crowd, using your elbows to make your way. It’s crazy, how big their living room is and still, you manage to feel strapped, like the walls keep moving away from you, making it impossible to reach the stairs, the escape. You think someone drops a bit of their drink on your dress but you don’t really care at the moment, walking with quick steps when finally, you’re out of the circle.

Running up the stairs, your hand lands on the wet patch the unknown drink left at your side, nice.You don’t know what it is, it sticks to your fingers, probably sugary. Finally, the music seems to fade naturally when you reach the first floor, pushing the door of the bathroom without a second thought. As said, you’ve been to parties before, you know bathroom can be...unlocked and busy. Thankfully, no one’s there and you’re able to lock yourself in the bathroom, completely sheltering yourself.

Turning the light on, you quickly find the sink, hands gripping the border before you lean forward a bit, opening the faucet.

“Popularity isn’t for me.”, you tell yourself, eyes set on your reflection. Forehead sweaty, your makeup isn’t as good as it was when you left your dorm. Even, is it your reflection ? It seems you can’t even find a safe place anymore. You can’t help the tears that gather in your eyes, small transparent pearls threatening to fall at any moment, you can’t even trust your own reflection. Something grips at your throat, makes it hard to breathe and all you can do is let your head fall down, trying to calm yourself by running your hands under the cold water.

You can’t even go back to your dorm, not wanting to see Jaehyun. It’s a mixture of fear and something else you can’t really identify, something that makes you regret acting in such a way. It’s crazy, how you almost thought things were going well for an actual entity you summoned. You guess you let things go to your head, forgetting the supernatural aspect of it all. You don’t think it has ever been so hard to see a future for yourself, so hard to find a solution to a problem, you feel stuck.

Between the four walls of a foreign bathroom, you finally let a sob tumble from your lips. You unsuccessfully try and muffle it against your wet palm but, it all makes it too hard to breathe. Harshly turning the faucet off, you desperately try to find a rhythm.

“Hey, kid.”

You almost jump out of your skin. Taking a step back from the sink, you don’t even look up. A voice you know too well by now but, this time is doesn’t sound as harsh. Did he really have to appear so suddenly ? He didn’t help your breathing and you make that known when you glare up at the entity.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”, Jaehyun says. There’s something soft in his voice, something you surely are not used to. The mirror is much smaller here, you can only see from his upper body and has you focused on his face. Again, he’s good at hiding his emotions, cold face contracting with the tone in his voice.

“It’s okay.”, you finally breathe out, not wanting to fight or scream right at this moment. You don’t think you have the energy for, at least.

“Popularity really isn’t for you.”, he laughs and for once, it’s meant for you to laugh too. There’s a tired sigh tumbling from your lips, far from a laugh.

“What are you doing here ?”, you ask, though the answer is obvious.

“I told you, forever in the nearest mirror.”, he repeats and unlike yesterday, it doesn’t sound like a threat, more like a silent promise that he’ll watch over you. “Come closer.”

And you do, a lot less fearful. Separated by the sink, you stand at its edge.

“Don’t freak out, doll.”, the entity warns and, before you can even ask him why, he leans out. He leans out of the mirror. Though you don’t freak out, like he asked you, it still takes you by surprise. Mouth agape, the way he effortlessly lets his upper body detach from the mirror is hypnotising. He almost looks human, if it isn’t for his glass skin. The light of the bathroom reflects on the highest point of his cheek, you’d have to look a few minutes to understand if his skin’s pale or if he’s slightly translucide. Faded beauty marks and light freckles, you’d almost be able to count them.

“There, good.”, he coes softly when you blink slowly. Jaehyun looks so normal, like you’d be able to pick a fallen eyelash on his skin. From here, you can detail his glossy hands, the grey tint at the tip of his fingers and before you can search for any trace of veins on his arms, he cups your cheeks.

Skin cold, his hands a light touch like he isn’t sure if he should be touching you. The change in heat has you flinching for a second before relaxing, welcoming the cold trail his thumbs let under your tired eyes.

“Breathe with me, I don’t want to see you having a panic attack.”, he explains. And, you do. Soft breath falls at the bridge of your nose, drying the small drops of water the faucet left on your skin. Through his nose, out his mouth, the entity takes the time and waits for you to match his rhythm.

Jaehyun, Yoonoh, the entity you summoned is helping you calm down in the middle of a party you hate, that’s the thought you have to push away before finally, feeling yourself getting back to normal. Your heart regains somewhat of a normal rhythm, it stops ringing in your ears and most importantly, nothing restraints your throat. Then, you look up at the entity, big brown eyes checking up on your features, only then do you notice the small dots of gold near his pupil.

You back away.

Taking a step back, you detach your eyes from his own, he looks more alive out of his mirror and you’re not sure you want him so close. Or maybe, it’s the fact you do want him a bit closer that scares you. After all, he managed to calm you down easily, he’d almost pass as a normal student.

“Thank you.”, you manage to let out after swallowing down. After a small nod, he lets his body get swallowed back into the mirror. It’s crazy, how his appearance changes the slightest bit, enough that he loses the human like je ne sais quoi that made him familiar, friendlier almost.

“It’s alright, doll. I’ve had my fair share of people to calm down but usually, it’s during our first meeting.”, he jokes a bit, regaining his attitude when he’s sure you’re alright.

There’s a silence, a moment when you let the music come to your eyes, the setting sinks in your brain again. Johnny and his friends are probably waiting for you, you don’t even know how long you’ve been there. On the other side, Jaehyun takes a look at the bathroom you locked yourself in, sighing a bit at the music loudly blasting, making the walls vibrate every now and then. You now know how quick Jaehyun is to speak and, for the first time, you catch him, speaking at the same time.

“I should go home.”

“You should go home.”

“Nice shirt.”

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun. You need to stop doing that.”, jumping to the side, you almost drop the towel you were using to dry the wet ends of your hair.

Minutes after Jaehyun left the bathroom, you did the same. The party wasn’t an interesting one to you and so, you faked being sick to Johnny and his friends. Needless to say, many were disappointed for a reason you couldn’t really understand. At least, Johnny insisted on driving you to your dorm and soon enough, you found your safe space again.

Strangely, Jaehyun didn’t make his presence known when you entered the room, you were almost used to having him waiting with a sarcastic sentence at the tip of his tongue. Nevertheless, you hung a towel on the mirror of your bathroom and took a quick shower, slipping into freshly washed pyjamas so quickly you almost fell down.

Apparently, the young man decided to appear right when you stepped out of your bathroom, almost knocking your knee against some furniture. Easing yourself on your bed, you let your body at the edge, right in front of your mirror.

“But you always look like a cute deer caught in headlights. That’s the saying, right ?”, he asks, sitting down in front of you. You nod a bit, a slight smile on your face. “Thank you again, for earlier.”, setting the towel aside, you let your legs dangle. You should probably try and sleep but, it seems Jaehyun isn’t thinking about leaving right now. The entity doesn’t answer, simply nodding, almost not wanting to address the gesture. “I thought you left.”, you tell him, being truthful for the first time.

“I was just mad.”, Jaehyun almost says, he almost voices his own emotions but decides against it.

“You shouldn’t have gone to his house.”, he says again. But, unlike yesterday, he doesn’t sound as mad, as angry. You sigh anyways, he sounds like a parent scowling you, but you guess he’d be too old for that. But somehow, you know he isn’t really wrong. Eric didn’t even speak to you, nothing good came of it. Rather than voicing your opinion, you let your eyes travel to the side, avoiding the man’s gaze.

“He’s dangerous.”, he starts, playing with his rings again. If you were in his head, you’d be able to witness the dilemma he’s facing. However, Jaehyun picks rather quickly. “Do you remember what I told you ? What people wish for the most ?”, he asks. It’s funny, Jaehyun always sounds like he’s questioning you, making sure you listen to him. “Love.”, you easily answer, attention picked.

“That was Eric’s second wish. But as I told you, it’s never true love, its a fake emotions, I can’t- I can not force such a powerful feeling onto someone. It always ends up badly. When Eric’s “dream girl” - like he called her - didn’t love him like he wanted her to, he got mad.” By now, you know Jaehyun’s behaviour quite well. When he didn’t show much emotion while telling you the story of this unknown prince, the entity looks uncomfortable enough when thinking about Eric. Eyebrows raised, there’s a shiver that runs down your spine. The young man didn’t even say it and yet, you already know where it is going.

“He tried to kill her one night.”, he starts. For an entity who saw, experienced so much, you think it’s how fresh it all is that has him showing so much emotion. Someone capable of murder, that’s who you visited without a second thought. The behavior, it all started to make sense. Your mouth hangs open for a moment before you find your words again. “Is she- Is she alright ?”, you ask first.

“She was, I do not know her whereabouts as of today.”, he continues, letting one of his rings roll between his fingers. “I couldn’t let him do it. I used my wish to teach him a lesson, showed him things that went straight through his thick skin. He managed to escape in time but he left me with his.”, before you can ask, the entity lifts his right sleeve a bit more. On his arm, the young man has a wound. Almost unrealistic, the cut doesn’t have a trace of blood but it seems forever frozen in this state, never healing. “Said I’d make him pay and that was enough to install fear, forever.”

The paranoia, the look in his eyes at Jaehyun’s name, everything added up. You almost feel like throwing up, you knew humanity had its vermin but never, never did you think they’d be so...close. You never thought you’d see the entity with morals. You’re glad he explained the reasons behind his actions, behind his behaviour.

“I didn’t- I didn’t know you would get hurt.”, you tell him, almost whispering.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”, the entity simply replies. He isn’t wrong, reminding you of centuries he had before meeting you. You don’t even know his full name, or his story.

“Then tell me about yourself.”, you blur out, not thinking twice. For the first time, Jaehyun is taken back, blank expression on his face. The entity takes a few seconds to process your words and you continue, taking over the conversation for the first time. “Do you ever tell your story ?” He probably never does, you wonder if it’s even a question to ask. Maybe too dark, too painful, you wonder for a second if the question won’t make him mad.

Finally, when the young man regains his attitude, he raises his eyebrows for a second, “People never ask me for it. I told you, humans are greedy creatures. They use me for their two wishes and try to forget about me.” There’s something sad in his words. Now, you understand. He probably feels used, has to do people’s dirty work, grant without a word to say. Somehow, it manages to tighten your heart. Sure, a side of your brain reminds you of the entity he truly is but, another one can not help but feel sad, sad for the life he isn’t even leaving. “Tell me, I want to know.”

Unbeknownst to you, Jaehyun might feel the smallest spark of happiness. To be cared for. You’re probably asking out of politeness but god, does it feel nice to have someone asking you about your story. “Are you sure ?”, he asks anyways, fainting some arrogance, some detachment while he still can.

“I was a human once, cursed.”, the entity starts, almost nonchalant. Eyebrows raised, you can’t help the slight gasp that tumbles from your lips. “Cursed ?” Scooting closer to the edge, the fear of being close to him slowly disappears.

He nods a bit, before fully getting into his story, one he never really talked about to anyone else, now that he thinks about it. “Was born a long time ago, there’s nothing interesting about my life, really.”, like he’s recalling some old, old memories, he looks up for a moment, eyebrows slightly furrowed. You don’t ask when he was born, letting him continue without stopping him. “We’d get married quite young at that time.”, he notes.

“I was 23 and had a few choices but there was this girl.”, Jaehyun continues and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this, slight smile on his face, it’s clear he’s remembering fond memories. “Pretty brunette, her name was Haseul. We were in love.” Love, something you for a moment thought the entity wasn’t capable of. Something flashes in his eyes, regret, probably. “We were supposed to get married but not everyone was happy with it. From the choices I had, there was this young lady, her name was Agnes.”, the young man says her name with venom on his tongue, you can now only imagine what she did.

“Agnes was supposedly madly in love with me and, when she found out me and Haseul were already talking about marriage, she did this.”, it’s like even after centuries, he isn’t quite able to put words on it. A deep sigh, the entity needs some seconds to find his words, leaning back on his hands. “It was rumored that she was a witch, I never really believed it.” Can you blame him ? You didn’t believe in him either, only days ago. Hands on the border of your bed, you lean a bit closer, captivated by the story. “What did she do ?”

“I don’t really know how but, she used black magic to curse me here. Forever stuck, if she couldn’t have me, no one could.”, he says, almost nonchalant. He probably accepted his faith long ago but for you, who just listened to his story, you have something tightening around your neck. “He was a human too, once. Loved by the wrong person, punished for loving and giving himself to someone else. He ended up stuck for it, a faith you’d never wish upon anyone, not now that you know all the things he saw and experienced. Jaehyun didn’t even deserve it, you think it’s what saddens you the most.”

“Kid, are you alright ?”, Jaehyun asks, his head to the side. Fuck, you didn’t even have a second to hide the water building up at the corner of your eyes. Quickly using your shirt to dab the droplet away, you shake your head.

“Y-Yeah. It’s just...I didn’t know you were human before.”, you start and, he laughs a bit. He tells you he’s used to it, many misjudged him as a demon. “You didn’t deserve this.”, you mumble, feeling the lump in your throat grow as you force yourself to keep a straight face. It’s probably the lack of sleep and the recent events that have you on your nerves.

“And, can’t you wish to get out ?”, you ask. Somehow, god knows why, your brain tries to find a solution, probably the humanity in you speaking up. “Can’t I wish for you to get out.” This seems to make the young man laugh, few locks falling in front of his eyes, he has to use his hand to push them back. “Ah, doll. You’re cute. Would you ever do that ?”, he asks, laughing. You don’t answer, would you ? Conflicted and yet, something tells you that you would. You would, because you’re a good person, right ? You wouldn’t want someone stuck in such a way, you wouldn’t let someone innocent suffer if you could get them out. Is Jaehyun innocent ? All the things he did, he had to. But again, he did trap people with him, didn’t he ? Two sides fight, relentless in your brain but somehow, the way he’s looking at you with malice, like he already knows you won’t do it has you nodding.

You nod and, it has the power to make the entity’s eyebrows raise a bit, a slight smile on his rosy lips. “It’s not how it works.”, he finally says.

“Is there a way to get out ?”, you’re too curious. If there was a way to get him out, would you do it ? You push the thought away, not wanting to question your morals, not right now. Probably sensing the conflict you’re going through, Jaehyun shrugs. “There is, but you don’t need to know.” At this point, the young man knows what he’s doing. He pokes your curiosity, makes you want and need to know more. Obviously, it works. “Tell me !”

“It’s a ritual. It’s a bit gruesome, I don’t think you want to hear it now, darling. Requires someone’s blood, someone who truly loves me. See, the witch thought no one would ever love me as much as she did.”, Jaehyun explains, detailing your reactions at his words. Something twists at your stomach, blood ? An old ritual, you can’t even begin to think about all the things necessary. Someone who truly loves him, a big requirement when people summon him only to use him, never getting to know the entity. Again, can you really blame them ?

“See, nothing really interesting.”, Jaehyun concludes, “But you, darling. Tell me about yourself.”

Monday night.

Days trying to function with little to no sleep, days with little to no privacy. You think it’s what you miss the most, privacy. Sure, you could put a towel up on your mirror whenever you took a shower but see, you couldn’t take long showers, longs baths. You always feared Jaehyun would appear out of nowhere, manage to get the towel out and then, then what ? And yes, Jaehyun never did that before, only time he truly appeared without you being prepared for it was last night, during the party but, it was for a good cause. Right now, laying in your bed, sheet almost entirely covering your face, it’s another time of privacy you’re longing for. See, you don’t remember the last time you touched yourself. Alright, maybe that’s a hyperbola, you do remember but it seems so, so far away. Few hours of sleep and so many events you can’t even talk about to your friends have you feeling almost jetlagged, having to check your phone for the hour and day.

Staring at your ceiling, a deep sigh leaves your lips. You can’t sleep, you can not sleep at all and you have a trip to your home town tomorrow, things to do that require all your brain power. Your brain and body won’t fall into Morpheus’ arms and, you know exactly why. You need it, you need an orgasm so, so bad. It had been on your mind for a while now, it had been clouding your mind for hours now, actually. Hanging out with your friend today did help quite a bit, helping your brain think about anything else. But now, alone in the the middle of your bed, you can’t deny. Your body doesn’t lie to you, the way you have to close your thighs, the way your hands dangerously move inch by inch towards the center of the problem. Your mind does not lie to you either, foggy images, too clear and loud thoughts.

Yes, you could give in, let your body and mind have what it graves. But, another problem’s right in front of you. The mirror Jaehyun would usually occupy. Fuck, he never announces himself, he never tell you when he’s coming. What if he just...Pops up again ? However, you found a loophole. If your phone doesn’t work when Jaehyun is here, in your mirror, whether you see him or not, the object starts working again when he fully leaves. God knows where he goes, who’s mirror he haunts but at the very least, you know when he isn’t there, right ? God, you know it’d put you to sleep. Picking your phone up, it’s clear the device’s working exactly like it should. You could be quick with it, right ? Two in the morning, you don’t see why Jaehyun would come back now, you really don’t.

And, fuck it. The pale moonlight freely enters your bedroom, helping you distinguish the furniture in your dorm, letting you keep an eye on your mirror just in case. Ditching your heavy blanket to the side, you let the cold air brush over your naked legs. You managed to get out of your pants a bit earlier, struggling with the heat under your sheets. Your right hand softly lands on your closed core, immediately making your leg raise. Planting your foot on your mattress.

Your index slowly traces your lips, over the already wet fabric. God, it’s been so long and you’re already wet. You barely needed to find a memory to get off to for that. The tip of your finger easily finds your bud of nerves, lightly pressing. The small gesture has you gasping softly, keeping your voice low enough.

Enough of teasing yourself, you do not think you have time for this, nor the patience. Pushing your panties aside, you ease a finger between your lips. Finally, some friction. It is not long until you add a second finger to the mix, using a rhythm you know would get you off quickly. Biting down on your lower lip, you have to breathe through your nose, out your mouth to keep your whines quiet enough. Strangely enough, you find yourself thinking back to Jaehyun’s breathing, how his cold hands cupped your face so gently.

In and out, you let a mewl out, unable to muffle it. His cold, ring hugged fingers, wouldn’t they feel so, so nice on your burning skin ?

Oh, what are you even thinking about ? You should not, you can’t. Find something else to think about, another boy to hold your fantasies. It shouldn’t be so hard, right ? It’s almost pathetic, how your mind manages to go through a list of boys you know or once you and yet, the one that has been shaking your life up keeps numbing your mind.

Don’t give in to your thoughts, a side of your brain yells at you.

But there's nothing wrong in this, is it ? A little secret to keep to yourself, just like you’re keeping Jaehyun a secret from everyone.

Fuck, you can’t find your clouded mind at this very moment, you almost give it, let your fingers move faster with a picture pecfect imagine of glossy fingers, shamlesly, a name you never thought you’d moan tumbles from your lips. If only, if only you’d notice the weak flashing of your phone’s screen, the drained battery on the black screen for a few seconds before it went dead. If only you’d notice.

“Well. What do we have here ?”, you almost jump out of your skin, you almost have a heart attack right here. You knew it, you knew you shouldn’t have done it. In a quick motion, you try and grab onto your sheet but, Jaehyun’s voice stops you. Frim, it’s an order he gives you. “Oh no, don’t try and hide yourself now.”

Fingers naturally slowing down, you can’t help the pathetic whisper that leaves from your mouth when you lose the so needed friction. Even if the young man tells you not to hide, you have to close your legs again. You think you’d be mortified, completely frozen but, it’s pure frustration that crashes over you. “God, Jaehyun ! Can’t you warm before ?”, you groaned, your left hand on your forehead. Your right hand, on the other side, grips the thin sheet under your body. You’re probably staining but, you clearly don’t care right now. There’s a low chuckle from the entity, he doesn’t even seem fazed at all. Taking a final step closer to the mirror, something flashes in his eyes. “You’re the one who called me.”, he points out. His own fingers gaze over his jawline and you almost slap yourself, you shouldn’t have such thoughts. But they do look so, so inviting. Did you call him ? Oh, you did, without even realising.

“I heard you.”, he hums, arrogant. He seems so, so amused by the situation. Pearly white teeth bite down on his lower lip for the faintest of second, crossing his arms over his chest. “Ah, I thought you were calling me because you were in danger, doll. But here you are, touching yourself and moaning my name ? What a dirty, naughty little slut.”, the nickname rolls out his tongue too easily, it strikes right, numb your brain even more.

There’s no point in denying it but, somehow, you try and act like his words aren’t affecting you at this very moment, like he does have your thighs closing, core aching. “Don’t call me that.”, you try, breathless. Only then do you notice the change, the sudden heat in your bedroom. A smirk grows on his rosy lips, “Why ? You clearly like it.”

“Go away.”, you try, half believing it.

“You don’t want me to. Why leave when you were moaning my name ?”, he barks right back. Clearly, the back and forth amuses him, it fires him up, he loves when they put up a fight, even already lost. You stay silent for a moment, unable to find words, a sentence that could make sense. “Come on, doll. Show me.”

That voice, you don’t know if you heard it before. Sultry, soft, it feels like velvet. Smooth, inviting, he has you hypnosed and, before you know it, your legs fall open. Heart pumping rapidly in your chest, its excitement that pumps into your vein but, you don’t want to admit it yet.

Oh, the joy and cockiness that flashes in the brunette’s eyes. You think it’s the growl he lets out that takes your breath away, legs trembling. “Come closer, darling. Let me see you.” And you do. Just like last night, you scoot closer until your legs are dangling from your bed. It’s lust speaking, lust acting on your numbed, dizzy mind when your thighs spread open for him to see.

“Pretty.”, he notes and, before you think about doubting your actions, ask him what the two of you are doing at this very moment, he continues. “Show me what you were doing.”

Under his eyes, your right hand finds your drenched core again, hooking the fabric of your underwear to the side, you easily let your two fingers part your core before slipping them in. There’s no point in hiding your moans anymore, soft whispers tumbling from your lips.

“God, you’re so wet.”, he notes. “Faster, fuck yourself faster.”, Jaehyun orders lowly. Captivated by his voice, you do, fingers moving at a rapid pace. It feels too good, surreal, almost.

“Jaehyun, what are we-.”, you start, though it turns in a moan.

“Sht, shut up. ‘m trying to make you feel good, yeah ? Isn’t that what you wanted ?”, it is, you think to yourself. The side of your brain, desperately trying to fight against it finally lets go, gives in into the pleasure. “There you go.”, he hums happily once your head hangs backwards. “Tell me, what are you thinking about ?”

The words get caught in your throat. Eyes heavy, you need a few seconds before being able to speak up again. “Your fingers.”, you admit, any ounce of shame finally leaving your body. It accepts the pleasure Jaehyun is guiding you towards. “Slow down.”, he instructs and, you do so, a small pout on your lips.

“Look at that. Who thought you’d beg me to let you cum some days ago ? Weren’t you the one who pulled a knife on me ?”, he coes. He isn’t wrong, you whine softly at the slow rhythm you now have to keep up with.

“Jaehyun, please.”, you whine out. Tired, sensitive, you’re on the bridge, only waiting for him to let you fall.

“Please, what ?”, what he does next almost has you moaning. Leaning out of the mirror, his skin goes glossy again, just like in the frat house’s bathroom. Shining under the moonlight, his upper body’s so close. The same human like je ne sais quoi, one that has you leaning closer, closer to him. The coldest of his fingers, what you were thinking about seconds ago, you feel them again. In the dead of the night, skin burning, the entity places his hand right around your neck. He isn’t even pressing and yet, he manages to get your breathing uneven. “Please what, doll ?”, he asks again, almost archly. “Please, let me come, please.”, you beg, throwing any shame and dignity out of your opened window. Clearly appeased and glad by your words, the brunette lets his fingers press harder, harder. Cutting your airways, he tilts your head up, enough that you feel obligated to look at him. “Come on, make yourself cum.”

Face close, he’s millimeters away, lips brushing against yours but never does he kiss you. Keeping his right hand around your throat, his left hand guides your fingers, helping you, guiding you. “Pretty little thing.”, he coes the moment he feels you twitching. Pretty brown eyes set on you, he details, drinks in any one of your expressions. Under his gaze, you take minutes to hit it. Your orgasm is an intense one, crashes over your body, Jaehyun has to let you breathe.

“There you go.”, voice soft, it sounds far, far away. You take minutes to come down, minutes for your mind to clear again. “Sht, it’s alright.”, you can hear the smirk in his voice and, before you can point it out, sleep knocks you out.

Realization, it’s realization that crashes over you the next morning. Or rather, the next afternoon. It’s around one in the afternoon when you wake up, sunlight freely entering in your room. Birds, voices, cars, the city’s wide awake and shakes you up. Truthfully, you’d rather not wake up today.

Your gaze falls on your phone, battery intact and on, the multiple texts you have from your family makes you understand. You missed your train, great. Even better, you remember last night. Is it regret ? Rather something else you don’t understand. You don’t really regret what happened, rather fear what will happen next. Jaehyun isn’t human, not anymore at least. Stuck in a mirror, he’s bound to leave at some point. He’s an entity, doesn’t that clash with your morals ?

Your brain goes miles an hour and you aren’t even able to stop it. Maybe, maybe a shower could help ? You need to get ready anyways. Family’s waiting, worried for you and here you are, stomach empty hanging a towel on the mirror of your bathroom.

What the fuck did you do ? That’s the question that keeps turning again and again in your head. But, it didn’t hurt anyone, right ? God, the grey area you’re in has you in a headache in minutes. Do you want him to leave, or not ? It’s a hard question, one you can’t answer, even at the end of your shower. Shouldn’t you want him to leave ? Isn’t he supposed to be a scary legend ? That’s the problem. He isn’t so scary, he isn’t so mean and cold. But again, he’s an entity.

Tumbling in your bedroom, your hand runs in your hair out of pure frustration, passing back and forth in the hallway that connects your bed and bathroom, where Jaehyun cannot see you. It’s funny, you look like him now. Are you becoming like him ? Or worse, like Eric ? You don’t even have a wish right now. It’s then that you do what you’re best, or worse at doing, You act on impulse.

Walking right in front of your mirror, you take a deep breath. You think the sweat gathering at your hairline’s going to ruin your makeup, the outfit you chose to wear isn’t appropriate for the weather. Anyways, you try your best a firm voice and call, “Jaehyun.”

On cue, he appears. Slight smirk on his face, he looks too pleased, probably because of last night’s event. Is it a smirk or, a genuine smile ? That, you can’t really tell. The brunette told you, you were easy to read and before you can understand his emotions, he understands your own. His smile fades into something more serious, catching up. Something’s wrong.

“Yes ?”, he asks, almost carefully. He never saw you like this, there’s a spark in your eyes he isn’t able to understand. Confusion, regret, fear, frustration ?

“I have my last wish.”, you tell him. Your heart’s heavy, for some reason. You shouldn’t be really, you think you found a solution to your problem, didn’t you ? “I want everything to go back to normal. Take back my popularity.”, you tell him in one go, once you have the courage to.

For a second, you see amusement flashing in his eyes, like he’s about to make fun of your wish. Actually, he was about to, question you before he catches on. He catches on way too quickly. Amusement quickly turns to...Disappointment, anger. His eyes quickly travel from your eyes to a point in your room you can’t see, back to your eyes. Features twisted, his breathing slightly changes, so does the temperature in the room.

“I know what you’re trying to do.”, it’s a growl, a dip in his tone that mimics the shift in the temperature, suddenly getting colder.

The limp in your throat doesn’t help, cold sweat probably ruins your makeup as you try your best to keep your composure.

“Jaehyun, it’s-”, you try, almost turning desperate. Your words get caught when he takes a step closer, you know he can and might lean out but he doesn’t do it, yet.

“You’re trying trying to get rid of me.”, it’s laced with anger. Anger, venom and disappointment. It’s the lather that has your heart breaking. You’re human after all, it’s only natural that you feel bad about your decision.

“I’m not trying to get rid of you ! It’s just that, after last night…”, you can’t even explain yourself, you’re unable to put words into your feelings.

“I knew it, you’re like everyone else.”, he spits out. His nose crunches up, disgusted. The young man looks down at you, eyebrows furrow, lips twisting. “Using me.”, the words echo in your room, he uses every mirror to let you know.

“Jaehyun, stop.”, you beg. You beg, tears in your eyes. Obviously, he doesn’t. He has it heavy on his chest, he’ll speak even if you don’t hear him.

“Using me to get what you want, only to ditch me. Leave me. Forget about me.”, anger clear in his voice, it’s loud, louder than what a normal man could be. The slight fog around his body grows thicker, darker, almost threatening. Goosebumps on your arms, the shirt you’re wearing doesn’t help how cold you’re feeling.

“I don’t want to forget you !”, you choke between tears, freely letting them fall down your cheeks. “You don’t understand ! You can’t - You can’t stay with me forever.” You hiccup, using your fingers to dry your tears.

Jaehyun doesn’t answer, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down as he blinks slowly. Anger has his jaw tight, chest raising up and down at a steady rhythm.

“I could’ve.”, he argues but it’s clear he half believes it. He couldn’t stay forever by your side, you wouldn’t be able to live your life in such a way. Shooting him a look that says it all, he doesn’t argue, he doesn’t continue. “You said your wish anyways. So be it.”

Unlike last time, it isn’t as happy, isn’t as fierce. It’s abandonment, he has to anyways. The glow behind him changes, shifts.

You can’t feel the changes of your wish right away. Jaehyun stays a cold face, almost refusing to look at you. The breath you didn’t know you were holding gets out in a sigh, your shoulders flopping down.

Silence. Silence for seconds while he looks to the side.

And suddenly, he turns around again, looking right into your eyes. “I have my wish, too.”, he says, coldly.

Before you can even argue, help him find something, offer one yourself, he cuts you off. Letting his hand out of the mirror, he doesn’t even completely lean out.

Looking down at his hand, you already know. You know what he’s going to ask for. “Jaehyun…”, you try, voice small. You don't want to cry again, throat completely cut.

“I want a dance, darling.”, he says, nickname sounding cold. You were expecting this wish, somewhere in the back of your mind, you’d think that maybe, he wouldn’t want to let you go. Nonetheless, it still tightens you heart, makes it pound in your chest.

If you could drop to your knees at this very moment, you would. But your body’s frozen, stuck in place. The plea you whisper isn’t of any use. You’re obligated to, before you even know it, your body’s pushed.

Your hand lands in his, cold skin against your own. Touch gentle, he guides you towards him.

To effortlessly move into another world, it feels like crossing a thin waterfall. You have to close your eyes when Jaehyun gently pulls your body towards the mirror. For a second, you don’t open your eyes, not knowing what to expect. Entire, pitch black room ? Jaehyun’s true appearance ? You don’t know, you can’t even begin to imagine. Your laced hands in the air, Jaehyun’s left hand placed itself in your back, classic position for a slow dance. “Y/N.”, he calls softly, too softly for the wish he just asked for.

You look up.

He looks normal, entirely human. No more glossy skin, you can see every small detail, every long lash, every freckle, deep dimples on each side of his lips. Milky skin, rosy lips. He doesn’t look as mad as he did previously, like having you right next to him managed to appease him. Unable to answer, you only look into his eyes. Even brighter, brown and golden sparks, the light he was lacking before is here, fully. He looks alive. When you don’t answer, a song starts playing, one you quickly recognise. Sway. It sounds far away, like a distant dream, it resonates. Only then, do you have the guts to look around. Jaehyun’s wearing the same clothes, around you, everything looks glossy. Glass walls without an edge, you could make the faintest outline of a castle, golden lights and pretty chandelier. Heavy, the pictures look wavy, like casted upon a distorted mirror. You can’t recognise not make anything else up. But, what takes you back, rips a gasp out of your lips, are the people.

Dozens of people dancing, slowly to the song. They mimic you and Jaehyun’s movements as he guides you, makes you sway, bend under his expert hands. All those people dancing and yet, they all look empty. It’s only when your eyes fall upon a man, dressed in royal uniform that you understand. All these people, he trapped them all with him.

You gasp and, as you’re about to question him, he speaks up. “Darling, look at me.”, he demands.

When you do, he meets you with a soft smile, comprehensive look in his eyes. “I understand, I understand why you did it.”, he starts. Finally, you’re the one to break him off. It’s clear he’s the one guiding your body, you don’t think you have any control over it at this very moment. He makes you dance in his makeshift castle, the only place he can rule over.

“I didn’t know what do to.”, you confess. Do you want to leave him ? No. But the grey area it leaves you in keeps hurting your brain, thorns you apart every second. “My intentions were never to use you.”, you tell him, gulping down as you pass a couple twirling, clearly from different centuries. Jaehyun knows, the words he let out of pure anger, he did not think them one bit. After all, you didn’t even know what to wish for. “I know.”, he calmly says. Face close to yours, you don’t mind the proximity. “Enjoy the moment with me. Please, doll.”

How can you truly enjoy the moment when you’re sure he’s going to trap you at any moment, have you stuck with him forever ? You almost lean into the idea, give in. You know this song well enough, the end is near and all you can do is look up into Jaehyun’s eyes. If he wants you here, you can not fight it. Can you ?

The entity has his eyes closed, forehead against your own. Softly, he whispers out only for you to hear. “It was a pleasure meeting you. Thank you for making me feel love again.”, he starts. “But I can not be selfish.” Before you can let something out, his lips softly press against the bone of your cheek and, his hands let you free to move, moments before the end of the song. An arm in front of his, he bows down with a slight smile. It isn’t hard to see the sadness he isn’t hiding. “I guess this is a goodbye. Go, run.”

You have well enough time and, when you understand that, you run, just like he asked. Heart pumping, you run, run towards the small frame where you can see the outline of your bedroom and, before you know it, the same waterfall. The sudden shift has you tumbling down, dropping to your knees.

“Jaehyun !”, you don’t care about your voice right now, you scream loud enough. Down on the fall, facing your mirror, Jaehyun faces you again, squatting down like he loves to do. The same sad smile on his face. Your hand flat on the surface, you hit your mirror like you’re hitting a window. You see it, he’s facing, slowly. Translucid, it’s a question of seconds before he’s entirely gone. Then, when tears fill your eyes, an invisible hand twist your heart, you understand.

Again and again, you tap on the glass.

“I’ll get you out, I promise !”

5K notes · View notes

whereisten · 4 years

Text

The New Kid

A Mark fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: the new kid in town is nerdy, quiet, and cute. The two of you grow close, but could he be hiding a secret that might put your life in danger?

Pairing: Spider-Man!Mark x female reader (Mary Jane?)

Other Characters: best friend!Haechan, Ex-Boyfriend!Jeno, Villain!Taeyong

Genre: Superhero! Sci-fi, fluff (enemies? more like awkward classmates to lovers), some angst and violence, comedy, a little suggestive?

Warnings: a little cursing, minor mentions of verbal abuse, gun usage, some violent acts, blackmail, hostage situation

Word Count: 10K

(A/N: alright well..this shouldn’t have been this long but I had a lot of fun with this one so I hope you enjoy it😂, Spider-Man Mark is just so adorable my heartssnsjksjsjksk. Also..barely proofread, so mistakes, I know they’re there, but I pretend I do not see them😌)

—————

“Good morning class! Everyone please welcome our new student, Mark Lee!”

Your teacher held her arm out as she welcomed Mark in your Chemistry class.

Your head snaps up from your notebook.

A boy with round eyes and short brown wavy hair walks in.

“Hi..” he gives a thin smile and a small wave.

Your first thought is of how adorable he is. Your second thought is of how he looks nervous to enter a new school just a month after the year has started.

The class is silent with the exception of a few sniffles and music blasting through headphones.

Please don’t sit here, please don’t sit here.

You didn’t really have anything against him, you just loved having a table all to yourself.

“Please..sit beside y/n, for now.”

Damn it.

Mark pulled the chair out and sat beside you.

“...hi.” He said as he placed his backpack down.

“Hi.” You raise your eyebrows and open your notebook.

You just had to sit next to the awkward new kid. Perfect.

———

[Two Weeks Later]

You and Mark worked on your first project together. You had to come up with a presentation for the fall science fair, so you had to work well together.

“It’s a chance for you guys to get to know each other and build yourselves!” Your teacher said excitedly but the truth was that you weren’t thrilled to be working with anyone.

You rolled your eyes and turned to Mark.

“Alright..where do we start?”

“Well, the instructions say to combine water and salt first, so I guess we’ll start there.” Mark puts his round glasses on and smiles at you, but you frown.

“Okay, you’re the nerd so..” you raise your brows.

Mark chuckled. “We barely know each other.”

“Come on, who in the world wears glasses like that, You look like Harry Potter.”

“I love that movie, is that a bad thing?” Mark asked with genuine confusion.

“Harry Potter is great and all, but what horror movies do you like?” You started to doodle in your notebook.

You loved horror movies, you loved autumn and everything dark and dreary about it.

“Hmmm..I don’t watch horror movies..”

You gasp and drop your pen. “You don’t..watch horror movies?” Your eyes widened like you had been hurt deeply by his lack of taste.

He returned the same look of shock. “They’re not my thing.”

“Aish..what a loser..” you say under your breath.

You turned back to your notebook and continued to doodle.

“So where are you from anyway, Potter?”

“I’m from Toronto.”

“I see, and this little town looked appealing to your parents, didn’t it?”

He nods and looks at the side of your face, noting how under your bleak persona and poor attitude, was a pretty face and gentle touch. He could tell from the way you delicately drew in your book.

His senses also picked up on your relaxed blood pressure and steady breathing.

He saw every pore and heard every breath you took, your lashes looked extremely long as well, bringing about a dazzling gorgeousness to your eyes.

The very surface of your round lips was soft and plump, there was a shade new to him that rested at the center.

“Mark?” You turned to him.

He quickly looked away and shifted in his chair.

“Y-yeah..I’m living with my aunt here..my parents passed away a while ago.”

“Oh..I’m sorry..” you looked down at the table.

“Hey. You don’t have to feel bad about it..”

Mark smiled softly as he heard your heart rate speed up from nervousness.

“Mark..I-“ the bell rang and you thanked the heavens for it.

Mark turned and grabbed his bag before you could say anything else. “Well, I’ll catch ya later.”

“‘CaTcH yA LAtEr’” you mocked him to lighten the mood. “Yeah, Potter, I guess we’ll work more next time..”

He laughed.

His eyes became small lines and his cheeks puffed up, he was adorable, like a kid in a candy store.

You turned away before your face became hot.

———

[1 Month Later]

“The new kid is kinda cute..” Haechan took a sip of his juice while the two of you ate lunch.

“God, I wish I was in your class, do you think the counselor will change my class schedule now if I come up with a dumb excuse?”

You rolled your eyes. “Nah, I don’t think she will, and even if she did, why would you want to be in a class with that nerd?”

Mark was sitting by himself at a table in the corner, he was reading a book while chewing chicken tenders.

Haechan pouted. “But just look at him..I bet he’s the best kisser, do you see those lips?”

“Ew Haechan! He’s my partner in class, I don’t want to think about his lips!” You gagged and started to peel your banana.

Mark could hear you, he could hear everyone’s conversations in the cafeteria for little did you know of his secret.

“So you’re telling me you wouldn’t give him a chance, even though you gave a notorious school douchebag named Jeno one?” Haechan glared at you.

You kicked his shin under the table. “We don’t say that name here anymore.”

Haechan hissed. “You’re closer than I’ll ever be to that cutie..you better take advantage of that, I bet he’s super nice too.” He rested his chin in his hands as he swooned over Mark.

You rolled your eyes then locked eye contact with Mark just as you stuffed the banana into your mouth. You were frozen. The banana was about halfway in and Mark never let your eyes go.

You chomped on it and looked away.

Mark giggled and went back to reading his book.

“You open your mouth pretty wide for a girl that doesn’t know how to use it..” Jeno snickered as he walked by your table.

Your mouth was full so you couldn’t come up with a quick comeback, but luckily, that’s what Haechan was there for.

“Oh, shut up, big head. Like you could fill anyone’s mouth with that chicken nugget of a wee wee!”

You nearly choked and covered your mouth as you laughed.

Mark, who was over 30 feet away, laughed too.

Jeno quickly turned around to walk back to your table, but ended up colliding into Taeyong, the scary and filthy rich senior that everyone stayed away from.

Him and his posse, complete with Yuta and Johnny, were tall seniors that gave everyone death glares. Even the teachers weren’t safe. Taeyong’s father was the wealthiest man in town, he was a kingpin so he possessed a lot of power.

Jeno raised his hands. “Whoa, bro, I’m sorry.”

Taeyong steadied himself and pulled his hands out of his pockets. The entire cafeteria froze, you all had never seen anyone get in their way. Taeyong walked around in black clothing and never took his hands out of his pockets for it ruined his nonchalant attitude.

The black haired boy crossed his arms and stepped towards Jeno.

“If I were in the mood..I’d tell you to get on your knees and beg for my forgiveness..” his intense gaze made Jeno tremble. Hell, even you swallowed hard from fear.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

Taeyong’s mouth tilted into a smile, he rubbed his thumb along the side of Jeno’s face. Johnny and Yuta stood behind him while they smirked and chuckled at Jeno’s subordinance.

“I know it won’t.”

He walked away and out of the cafeteria.

Jeno scurried back to his group of friends while the rest of the students resumed their lunch.

Mark didn’t like the sound of this guy. He knew who his father was and he knew that he would be the only that could stop him and save the innocent lives threatened by him.

Later that day, you were getting ready to leave school when Haechan popped up behind your locker as you closed it.

“Shit!” You jumped when he popped up.

He cackled. “You know, for someone that watches a lot of horror films, you sure do get scared pretty easily.”

You huffed and swung your backpack over your shoulder. You didn’t notice Mark behind you and your bag nearly smacked him in the face, but thanks to his senses, he ducked quickly.

“Y/n!” Haechan saw Mark behind you.

“What?” You said as you turned.

Mark was there behind you, squatting below you awkwardly and looking up at your face.

You furrowed your brows. “What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get a peak of something down there?”

Mark shot up straight and shook his head.

“N-no, no I’m sorry I was just..I know we are a little behind..but I was wondering if you wanted to work on the project together after..school, or-or something..” he looked nervous to talk to you. He kept looking to the side to dodge your eyes.

“I can’t today..I’m-“

Haechan butt in excitedly. “Oh! That works perfectly! Y/n, I was actually coming to tell you that I can’t go to the movies tonight! I have to do some extra work with my partner too! We can all study at Starbucks!”

You turned to him and glared. ‘What the hell’ you mouthed.

His eyes grew. ‘Just say yes’ he mouthed while nodding towards Mark.

Mark still looked to the side.

“Fine..meet us at the Starbucks on 10th at 5..loser.” You gripped the strap of your bag while walking away.

Mark chuckled at the nickname you gave him. He thought you were different, cute, but different.

At Starbucks, Mark was there before you were and ordered coffee for you.

“For me?” Your eyes widened.

Mark nodded and smiled widely. “Yeah! I don’t know if you like cream or sugar, so I got it black but everything is over there if you-“

You giggled and Mark swore he saw heaven when you smiled. “I know how it works, Mark, thank you for this.”

You rarely said his name, but he felt weak when you did.

Haechan and his lab partner joined the two of you. You did some more research for your project and talked about it while Mark jotted down important notes.

Haechan and his partner, Renjun, were supposed to be doing the same thing, but Haechan was too busy staring at Mark’s eyes.

“Haechan..Haechan!” Renjun tapped his hand.

They continued to work and as everyone got more tired, you noticed that Mark wasn’t jotting down notes like he did in the beginning. He was watching you talk, he liked watching your lips move and hearing your soothing voice. His eyes were locked on your face; it made your heart tremble.

“Mark?” You raised your brows and bit your bottom lip.

“Yeah..yeah!” He shook his head to come out of his daze.

“Did you catch anything I said? You've been staring for at least five minutes now..”

“I was..focusing.” Mark averted his gaze to the ceiling.

You shook your head. “You’re weird, Potter.”

Mark licked his lips and looked at the table. “I’m sorry I’m just a bit tired..”

“Me too! I think we should call it a night!” Haechan stretched his arms out and up high.

He cleared his throat as you all started to pack your things away.

“Mark..so we’re all going to the movies to see that new horror film, “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” tomorrow. Wanna come?”

You kicked his shin again.

“Mark doesn’t like horror movies.”

Mark scratched the back of his head. “Well, I only said I don’t watch them, not that I don’t like them..”

You sighed.

“Perfect! So we’ll see you tomorrow at 8! This is so exciting, it feels like a date!”

“Haechan!” You stood up from the table, glaring into his skull once again.

He shrugged his shoulders and stood up too. The four of you walked towards the door.

Mark only laughed awkwardly.

“Hey.. y/n..”

You paused and turned around. “Yeah?”

“Will you be alright..getting home at this time?”

You laughed out. “I’m fine..I take the bus at this time all the time!”

Mark nodded.

He was caring and it was strange for you, for someone to genuinely care about you for the first time in a while.

He had his own car. An old Hyundai that got him where he needed to be. He had parked it outside of the Starbucks.

He waited with you at the bus stop right outside. Haechan took Renjun home.

“We can wait in my car if you want..it’s kinda cold out here.” He asked as you pushed your hands into your hoodie and shivered.

“My mother told me to never get in cars with strangers.” You turned to him and smiled.

He chuckled and stepped forward on his toes.

“Well, if that’s what you consider me to be then..I won’t push you..”

You shook your head. “Mark..you’re weird..I was just teasing, take me to your chariot before I freeze to death, please.”

You got into his car and the two of you sat in silence.

You checked your phone and saw that your bus was running about 20 minutes late.

You sighed and leaned back into his car seat.

“Do you like this town so far?” You looked out the window as you spoke.

Mark loved being near you, you calmed him down and his senses didn’t go crazy like they usually did. Sometimes everything was so unbearable, but not when he was around you. He was happy that no one was in danger while he spent the evening with you.

“It’s..alright..” he spoke honestly, finding it difficult to lie about how he struggled to adjust to his new life, without his uncle, without his hometown friends, without his “normal, super power-less” life. He had been bitten by a spider and given these powers just a few months before moving.

“Do you miss your friends?”

“Of course..” he swallowed hard as he remembered playing basketball with his buddies.

“And your girlfriend..”

You let it slip out before thinking. Why did you care?

“Oh, I don’t have a girlfriend..”

You turned to him with bunched up brows. “Boyfriend?”

Mark giggled. “I don’t have either..why do you ask?”

He smirked as he tilted his head.

You scoffed. “Oh, Potter, don’t give me that look..I just wanna know more about you.”

“What about you? Tell me about yourself.”

You swallowed hard. “Well..I think this town is boring..my parents are divorced and missing half the time..I broke up with my asshat of a boyfriend, Jeno, before school started..and now I’m stuck here with the school loser.”

“Stuck?” Mark raised his brows. “You can jump out any time you want and stand in the cold.”

You put your hand on the door handle but he quickly leaned over and placed his hand on yours. Your breath hit his neck. He turned to you with wide eyes as he realized that he was actually touching you.

You froze.

He froze as well. “I’m..I’m kidding, you shouldn’t leave until your bus gets here.”

He sat down in his seat and cleared his throat but you still felt his soft hand on your skin.

You chuckled. “You’re so strange, Mark. I guess it’s a Canada thing.”

“I like..spending time with you, if I’m being honest. I don’t have many friends here but you’re..cool.”

You turned to him. “Cool?? You think I’m cool?”

Mark put his head on the steering wheel and sighed, realizing the mistake he made. “Why did I say that?”

“Haha! Potter! You can’t take it back!”

The two of you spoke about music and entertainment. You told Mark that you were happy to see that he was going to try a horror movie with you tomorrow. You finally opened up to him as he did to you also.

You both laughed and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

He was a breath of fresh air in this town.

————

[The Next Day]

“It’s going to start in 5 minutes, where is he?” Haechan huffed as he looked at his watch.

You stood at the front of the movie theatre and looked around for Mark, but he was nowhere to be found. Was he really ditching you? You bought him a ticket and popcorn which had gotten cold by now. The ads that played before the movie were almost done. Haechan gave up and went into the theatre with Renjun. You stood there alone, awkwardly waiting like someone that was being stood up for their date. You looked at your phone but there were no texts or calls from Mark.

“Hey, I know you..” a voice spoke out from behind you.

You felt a sense of relief.

That was, until you turned and saw him.

Taeyong stood there with his hands in his midnight black trench coat, his hair was neatly parted to the side and two gold chains dazzled around his pretty neck.

“Are you alone?” He stepped towards you, a chill ran through your body and it wasn’t because of the temperature outside.

Your face fell, you stepped backwards away from him.

“I’m—I’m fine, thank you.”

Taeyong smirked when he saw your face of worry. He looked smug, dangerously handsome and cool.

“Whoever it is you’re waiting for...they’d be a fool not to show up..” his voice was deep, giving you goosebumps as you stared.

Was he flirting with you?

You laughed awkwardly.

A girl in a thin black body con dress walked up to him and grabbed his arm.

“Ready, babe?” She flipped her hair as she stared at him, but he still looked at you.

You felt bad for her. Yeah, she looked good, but at the cost of freezing in 20°F weather? Not even a gorgeous man like Taeyong was worth that.

“Sure..” he said smoothly.

They both walked into the theatre. You followed soon after. You found Haechan and Renjun and joined them. Haechan gave you a questioning look but you shook your head.

Mark never showed up.

He was too busy stopping a robbery downtown. It was him against 7 heavyweight champions trying to rob a bank. They were Kingpin’s men, but Mark used his web to bind them to the counters until police came.

By the time he finished, the movie was almost halfway done.

He sighed and grabbed his mask off while in a dark alleyway. He unlocked his phone.

You to Mark: where are you, loser? The popcorn is getting cold.

He smiled to himself. You got him popcorn, one of his faves.

You to Mark: gonna eat this by myself if you don’t show..

The next text message was a picture of Sour Patch Kids candy, the watermelon kind that he also loved.

You actually remembered him telling you he liked watermelons one day in class.

He closed his eyes and cursed quietly. He wanted to get close to you, but he was already messing things up.

————

[The Following Monday]

You threw your backpack down and sat in your seat in class.

Mark walked in soon after.

“You ignored my texts..” he said softly.

You ignored him and put your Bluetooth earbuds in.

He sighed then looked at his notebook.

“So you’re just not gonna talk to me?”

You bobbed your head and started writing as music played.

Mark looked around. Everyone had their heads down, they were either writing in their books or reading. So he put his hand behind his back, he quickly shot a web out to your ear bud. It malfunctioned and suddenly stopped working.

You took it out and looked at it.

“What the hell..” you whispered, genuinely confused as to why it burnt up while actually in your ear.

“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t show up on Friday, but something happened..I wanted to be there, and—“

You finally turned to him. “Yeah, you chickened out. I’m sure you had better plans for your Friday night than to watch a stupid horror movie with me.”

Mark frowned. “No, no it’s not like that at all.” He wanted to be there with you and watch your face as you enjoyed something dear to you, he wanted to share popcorn and gummies, but those moments are a part of normal life for a normal teenager. He couldn’t have that.

“Really?” You raised your brows and placed your head in your hand. “I know what being second place in someone’s life feels like, Mark. It’s the same crap my parents and my ex put me through..I won’t go through it again.”

Mark shook his head and leaned towards you.

“I’m not like them, I’m here for you, give me a second chance..”

“Hey! Less talking about the weekend, more writing about science!” Your teacher called out.

When class ended, Mark followed you through the halls.

“I had something personal to take care of, y/n. Can we see a movie tomorrow or something?”

You shook your head and gripped the strap of your backpack. “There aren’t any movies out right now that I’m interested in..”

“Okay, umm how about a pumpkin patch?!”

You turned to him with wide eyes. “What are we? 10 years old?” You scoffed and turned to walk then bumped into someone’s broad chest.

You looked up slowly. It was him. “Oh..I’m sorry.” You exhaled.

“Be careful, I might just bite next time..” Taeyong’s smile gave you the creeps. It bothered you that you were seeing him more frequently.

Mark took your hand suddenly. “Hey..we’re gonna be late.” He spoke firmly and glared before taking you out of Taeyong’s sight.

Mark kept pressing you for a second chance as you continued to walk to the cafeteria.

“Okay, fine. Umm there’s this Halloween party this Friday, I don’t really want to go, but-“

“Let’s go! We can get something to eat after, my treat!”

You nodded quickly just so he’d leave you alone.

“Okay, Mark, let’s just get through this week.”

———

[Friday Night]

Haechan helped you out of his car when you got to the party. You wore a tight white dress and a feathery halo along with a small pair of wings.

You looked amazing with glittery makeup and white heels as your accessories.

Haechan dressed as a zombie and did a spectacular job on his makeup. He looked like he had really been bitten on the neck and the virus had spread throughout, leaving him grey with purple and green veins throughout his face.

You pulled your dress down and waited in the kitchen for Mark.

You grabbed yourself a beer and cracked it open.

Haechan drank with you as well.

He swallowed hard. “The nice refreshing taste of piss.”

“Yup, seems about right.” You winced and put the can down.

“Well, well..it seems the Virgin angel has arrived.” Jeno walked in behind you and grabbed a beer. He was dressed as a devil. The two of you had long since talked about dressing as the angel & devil pair for Halloween as a couple, but now that you had broken up, you didn’t think that he'd still do it.

You rolled your eyes. “What happened? Were your natural horns not enough?”

Jeno chuckled and tilted his head. “We’re playing 7 minutes in Heaven next..I’d ask you to join, but I know you’re just a teaser, never a pleaser.”

You scoffed, but Haechan jumped in.

“That’s what your little friend over there said last night when you pulled your pants down.”

Jeno flipped him the bird and walked away.

You went to the bathroom and checked your makeup. You looked wonderful, your boobs stuck out and your dress hugged your curves perfectly. You rarely dressed like this but it was nice to look and feel..pretty., you quickly fixed your lipstick and left.

As you turned the corner, you ran into him again.

“Ahhh..perfect timing, I did say I would bite you the next time we ran into each other.” Taeyong’s eyes widened.

You backed away and laughed.

He was dressed fittingly as a vampire. He was dark and mysterious like one, so you weren’t surprised. He looked even more handsome than usual in his dark eye makeup complete with black liner and red eyeshadow.

But the way he stared made you..uneasy.

His gaze trailed from your lips to your cleavage as he eyed you up and down.

You stood there in silence.

“Do you—“ he started to pose a question as he stepped forward but his girl walked up and hugged him from behind.

She squeezed him gently, but Taeyong looked annoyed. “Let’s go upstairs, baby…” she said lowly while looking into your eyes with an evil glare.

Haechan came and grabbed your hand. You turned away from the two love birds and followed him, never once worrying about what Taeyong had to say again.

“He’s here!” You heard Haechan gasp.

Mark walked in. He was wearing a...Spider-Man costume.

You giggled at how cute he looked in it. You saw his cute little butt as he spun around looking for you through the crowd in the house.

You raised your hand. “Mark!” You called out to him.

He finally saw you and started to walk over.

You couldn’t stop yourself from grinning. He was adorable as he giggled.

“Why Spider-Man?”

He shrugged. “Eh—I like the way my butt looks.”

You laughed and took his hand to the living room where a few people sat on the floor a circle.

They spun a bottle and whoever it landed on would be placed in a closet for 7 minutes in heaven.

Two members from the group were missing so you and Mark took their spots as they did whatever they were doing in the closet. He helped you squat down while pulling your dress down your thighs.

You rolled your eyes as Jeno held his new girl crush close to him. If he wanted to be with her in the closet, why did he sit beside her? You thought to yourself.

Everyone took turns spinning the bottle and when it got to you, you spun it fast, hoping that it wouldn’t land on someone that you knew, that way it would be just as awkward for the both of you.

Mark watched the bottle spin and based on the speed and rotation of the beer bottle, he knew that one end would end up pointing to you and the other would point to..Jeno.

As it spun, he placed his hand behind his back.

He looked up and pointed to the kitchen with his other hand.

“Oh my god, what is that?!” He yelled, causing everyone to turn to look at whatever he was pointing at.

You turned as well, so Mark quickly shot a small squirt of his web to increase the speed a little.

“What are you talking about?” You asked when you turned back to him. Everyone else turned back too.

“Oh, I could’ve sworn I saw a rat..maybe it was a decoration.” He shrugged his shoulders.

The bottle slowed down to a halt and just as you dreaded. It landed on you and..Mark.

Jeno laughed out loudly.

“What’s so funny?” Mark gave him a look of annoyance.

“It’s just that..she’s the biggest prude I know, good luck bro, she doesn’t give it up.”

“Maybe because she doesn’t want to..I mean, have you thought about how much of an asshole you are?” Haechan spat out.

Mark looked at you as you stared at him with wide eyes.

“Y/n..you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to..”

Jeno chuckled again.

You didn’t really want to be this close with Mark, but you had to. You had to prove Jeno wrong, even if you and Mark did nothing but stare at each other. You wanted Jeno to know that you weren’t a prude like he thought.

You stood up and nodded. “Let’s go..”

The two of you stood in the tight closet awkwardly.

The light was dim, but you saw Mark’s features clearly. His dainty nose and high cheekbones, his wide eyes and cute lips. He looked to the side nervously.

The truth was, you looked amazing in your dress. He felt his face become warm when he looked at your cleavage. The glitter made your skin sparkle even more than it usually did.

“So…” you stepped up and down. “I’m glad you came..”

“I’m glad I came too.” He swallowed hard. “Oh.. that, uhh, sounded weird, I’m sorry..”

“Mark..” you giggled. “You don’t have to be awkward, it’s me..it’s just that I’m wearing tight clothing for once..”

He chuckled and looked into your eyes. He raised an eyebrow, making your stomach weak.

“It’s not just that..” his voice is lower, quieter so no one can hear the two of you.

“What is it then?” You smirk.

He stares at your lips and as he’s about to answer a red alarm blares out in his head. His senses are tingling, someone is in trouble.

He squints and turns away. “I-i have to go…”

You step forward. “What? Are you..okay?”

You place your hands on his shoulder.

He loves the touch but can’t stop this nagging feeling. He had to go where his mind told him to go, he had to tend to whatever needed him or else he'd go insane from the noise.

“I can’t explain it, it’s like a migraine, I..just have to go.”

He turns to head through the closet door but you step in front of him.

“Mark, if you leave it’ll just prove Jeno right. Please just 5 more minutes, I’m sure you can stand being with me for just that.”

“I can’t. I have to go.”

You scoff and continue to block the door. “What? Do you have to run home to your aunt or something? Are you out too late?”

Mark shakes his head. “Y/n..it’s not that, I just—“

“Gotta be a good boy and go home now?” You teased him to buy time. You really didn’t want Jeno to gain any satisfaction from learning that the two of you did nothing.

“Y/n..” he looked intensely into your eyes. His eyes then floated down to your lips as he watched you nag at him.

“Mark, what is it with you? You bailed on me last time! Do you hate being around me or what?”

He took your face in his hands and kissed you hard and sudden.

Your back hit the closet door causing it to swing open.

But Mark didn’t care, he still held your face close to his and caressed your mouth. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling of him on you. The way his tongue traced over your bottom lip for permission to enter, the way his nose poked your cheek.

You opened your mouth and turned your head to deepen the kiss.

Sparks flew between you and you both felt giddy. Blood rushed through your veins. Mark’s senses were calmed for a bit as they focused on what he felt right now with you. The building tension and the satisfying release.

You fell into him more and more. Even as the others cheered while watching, the two of you were consumed by each other.

You feel butterflies flying around without any intention of stopping and then..he pulls away. Your eyes open and you see your red lipstick all over the handsome boy’s mouth, confirming that what felt like a wonderful dream was actually a reality.

He stares at you through low eyes and licks his lips while panting.

Your lips are still parted while you too breathe heavily.

Your eyes are round and beg for more. Mark wants it too.

You look at his lips and lean forward, but he backs away and swallows hard.

“Catch ya later!” He runs out of the house as you stand there in shock.

Haechan’s mouth falls open.

“Oh...shit.”

———-

[The Next Day]

Taeyong listened to his father complain about the new superhero in town while at dinner.

“I don’t know where this little shit came from but he’s ruining EVERYTHING. We can’t get a simple delivery done without him popping up.”

Kingpin slams his fork down.

“He shoots a web here, he shoots a web there, and suddenly, my men are down and out! Tell me how that makes sense?”

“I’m sure they will stop him soon, he’ll get tired and give up.” Taeyong’s mother continued eating.

“Christ, I’m stressed and then we get a call from your teacher saying that you’re not showing up for class?!”

His father turned his attention to him while pointing a finger.

Taeyong shrugged.

“What the hell you moving your shoulders for? Answer me!”

Taeyong puts his fork down and sighs. “That class is a waste of time..”

“No, the only thing that’s being wasted is MY time and MY effort to get you to good college, you think I want you to end up like me?” His father’s voice rose.

“Is that such a bad thing?” A smirk fell across Taeyong’s face, irritating his father.

“Listen to me, boy, you could never handle the shit i handle, so DONT even think about it. You take your sorry ass to class and you graduate and go to college. Make something of that pea-sized brain of yours.”

“Honey..” his mom placed her hand on his father’s, but he lifted it and waved her off.

“Don’t! He’s like this because you spoil him. He’s a spoiled little brat.”

Taeyong continued eating, he was used to being insulted by his father.

“Dont speak like that, you’re just stressed because of Spider-Man, dear.”

“Shut it! You know that it’s true, you know he’s worthless!”

He stood up and gave Taeyong a frightening glare.

“You got one chance to prove me wrong, boy, make one more mistake and you’re out and on the streets with the druggies!” He huffed and left the dining room.

Taeyong sat quietly, gripping his fork in his fist and thinking about what to do. How could he prove to his father that he would be able to take over the business?

———-

[Monday]

You didn’t say a word to Mark for the first few minutes of class.

It was awkward but Mark didn’t seem to be bothered. He simply did his work in his notebook while listening to his music.

While the teacher was busy, you turned to him.

“Mark?” You whispered and leaned forward to get his attention.

“Mark?”

He still moved his head to the music.

You tapped his shoulder.

He turned to you with large eyes and took his headphones out.

“Yeah?” He said innocently.

“What do you mean by “yeah?” Are we not going to talk about the party?”

Mark smirked. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You nodded. “Mark, what was that about?” You knew what it was, you felt it every time you looked at each other. You had a developing crush on the boy you called a loser, you were just trying to hide it but it was becoming difficult as he was perfect in every way.

His cute eyes, nice lips, beautiful brown hair..you loved it all.

But most of all, you loved how sweet and caring he was, how he spoke to you and made you feel like you were the center of the universe as his entire focus rested on you.

He licked his lips. “I...did that to help you prove your boyfriend wrong.”

You blinked rapidly. “That was the only reason?”

“Um..yeahhh.” Mark looked to the side and moved his head in a “duh” motion.

“Oh..okay..” you looked down at your notebook and continued writing, feeling disappointed. But what did you expect? For Mark to confess his love for you? What a bizarre thought. You shook it off.

Later that day when you were at lunch, Haechan asked you about Mark.

“So what did he say?” He asked with his mouth full.

“He said he was just covering for me.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“Ahhh..I doubt it though, you guys made out like..really made out, it was sexy. If I knew you could kiss like that, I would’ve kissed you a long time ago.” he raises his eyebrows.

You made a look of disgust. “Ew! As if!”

You and Haechan giggled and continued eating.

You looked over at Mark’s usual eating spot in the cafeteria, but he wasn’t there.

“Where’s that big head, Jeno?” Haechan tilted his head when he realized that Jeno didn’t pass by for his usual snarky comment session.

“Hmm that’s a good question, I don’t see Mark either.”

“Oooo..are you waiting for a round two with him?” Haechan teased, but something didn’t feel right.

You stood up. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”

Haechan nodded and you turned away to walk around the halls.

You peaked down all of the corridors looking for him.

You eventually went outside to the soccer field and heard whimpering behind the bleachers.

You walked towards it and saw three boys gathered around another boy in the middle. The boy in the middle was crouching down and holding his stomach.

You walked faster.

“Give me his glasses!” You heard one of the boys say.

“He had these ugly things on and still couldn’t see us coming..”

You recognized the voice.

It was Jeno. As you got closer you saw Jeno raise his foot to kick at the boy on the ground, and to your surprise, it was Mark.

“Shit…” you ran closer, but Mark grabbed Jeno’s foot and threw him to the floor.

Your eyes grew as Jeno’s back pummeled down into the ground with so much force, you swore the floor shook. How was Mark that strong?

Jeno groaned in pain. The other two boys stared in shock before turning back to Mark and delivering blows to his chest.

Mark couldn’t take on the two of them.

“I don’t want to hurt you!” He called out to them, he was holding back for their safety.

“Hey!” You yelled as you got closer.

“Oh..look who showed up..the school slut..” Jeno said as he stood up straight and winced from the pain in his back.

“You gave it up to the new guy, y/n? Wow, I guess you are like your mother..”

“Hey!” Mark called out to him, but the other two boys held him up by the arms to keep him from hitting Jeno again. Jeno balled his fists up and was about to hit Mark in the chest.

“You’re an asshole, Jeno!” You ran up to him and swung hard, landing a clean punch to the side of his unexpecting face.

“Hey, what the hell is going on here?!” Vice Principal Kim called out.

“Shit.” You held your hand as a stinging pain shot through it.

The two boys let go of Mark and ran, leaving you, Mark, and Jeno to the mercy of the vice principal.

You sat in detention with a wrapped hand. Mark sat a few desks behind you and Jeno sat in front with a pretty black eye.

You are proud of yourself for doing something you should’ve done to him long ago.

You watched the clock tick for an hour as you sat there with nothing to do.

Mark felt terrible for getting you involved, he would’ve handled it on his own but you jumped in to help him and now you were hurt.

After detention, you grabbed your backpack and left without talking to Mark.

“Hey..” he ran up to you.

“Hey..I’m sorry..about that, I didn’t want you to get involved..”

“It’s not your fault, Mark, it’s just that..I’d rather be alone right now..” you had to walk home after missing the last bus.

“I’ll drive you home, it’s the least I can do.”

You turned to him and raised your brows.

“Without your glasses? Can you even see my face right now?”

Mark laughed. “Actually..I have something to tell you…”

“Go on..”

“I don’t need the glasses, I just like it when you call me Potter.”

A smile creeped across your face as you felt it become warm. You couldn’t help but laugh.

Mark drove you home as the two of you talked about Jeno’s look of shock.

“His face was priceless!” Mark scrunched his nose up and laughed gloriously.

You enjoyed watching him laugh, and without his glasses, he looked even more handsome.

You reached home and sighed. “Ahh..great, now I have to explain to my parents why my hand is swollen..”

Mark lifted your wrapped hand gently. “How does it feel? Does it hurt?” He bunched his brows up.

“And if it did, could you take the pain away?” You smirked.

Mark nodded. “I wish I could..”

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine, I took boxing class in the 9th grade..” you teased him but his eyes widened.

“Boxing class?! That is so cool!”

You giggled. “Mark, you’re so gullible!”

“Oh..” he looked down in defeat and blushed.

A moment of silence rested between the two of you.

You stared at his lips. “Well..I should get going..”

Mark parked across the street from your house so your parents wouldn’t see you coming out of a strange car.

You unbuckled yourself seat belt.

“Hey..” Mark said softly.

You turned back to him and watched his parted lips.

He leaned in closer as you swallowed hard. He was so close, just a few more inches.

Your phone rang out and you looked down.

Shit, Haechan texted you.

Mark smiled and leaned back into his seat. “I’m sorry, um..thanks again.”

“You’re welcome, Potter.” You winked and got out of the car.

He got out of the car and watched you head home.

But his spidey senses started to blare, something was coming, but you were texting on your phone as you crossed the street.

Everything happened in slow motion. The pick up truck speeding towards you, the steps you took to cross the road. You were moving too slow.

He had calculated it all. If he ran to you, he’d be too late, if he jumped in front of the truck he’d be too late and he’d get hurt.

There was only once thing he could do given the amount of time he had.

He stretched his arm out, flicked his wrist and shot a long sticky string out to your back. Once it latched itself onto your jacket, he yanked you back hard.

The truck sped by right in front of your eyes as you gripped your phone and looked up. You didn’t know what was happening or why you were flying backwards all of a sudden.

Your heart races, but soon you were in Mark’s arms. The truck came to a screeching halt once the driver realized that he almost hit you.

He spun you around to face him, not realizing that you were now entangled in his web.

You look terrified. “M-Mark..what the—“ you were out of breath, you looked down and saw the strings coming out of his skin.

Mark’s eyes widened as he looked down as well. The truck sped off after realizing that you were okay. It was just the two of you now, standing there in shock.

“Y/n…”

You let out a shakey breath. “Y-You're..him..You're—“

He put a finger over his lips. “Shhh..you can’t tell anyone.”

“S-spider-Man? THE Spider-Man??”

Mark nodded slowly.

Your mouth dropped.

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone.” Mark looked into your eyes and pleaded, his arms still held you tight to his chest.

You nodded but no sound came out.

He licked his lips and smiled. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Mark..holy shit, I’m gonna..”

“Please don’t pass out on me, I don’t want to carry you to your parents while you’re unconscious..”

“But Mark..I mean, you’re like.. a superhero..that’s so cool.” You grinned and still looked at him through surprised eyes.

Mark blushed. “You think I’m cool?”

“Oh, my God why did I say that?” You rolled your eyes.

Mark looked at your lips and it was your time to kiss him.

You placed your lips on his while taking his face in your hands. He hugged you tighter and kissed you back, diving into you like you were a breath of fresh air that he needed. You both closed your eyes and embraced the moment as your pulses ran fast and eventually matched.

You stood there for a few minutes while kissing and hugging like you were in a movie.

Neither you nor Mark noticed a car that was parked 50 feet away.

But not just anyone’s car, Taeyong’s car.

He had trailed Mark’s car after he saw the two of you leaving school. He had nothing better to do and just wanted to see what the two of you were up to, but then he saw how the web shot out of Mark’s hand quickly and how you flew back into him. He saved your life, all while thinking that no one would see him.

But he was wrong, and now Taeyong knew what he needed to do.

———

[The Next Week]

You and Mark hadn’t things official yet, you both were scared for what would happen to your friendship. But that didn’t mean that you didn’t want to kiss him for hours on end.

Mark felt the same way. You had been paired up with someone else at a different table in class. The two of you were now departed and he wasn’t happy about that so he made sure to keep an eye on you.

You finally ate together too. Haechan had his suspicions when he saw the two of you smiling at each other for no reason, but he didn’t say anything.

Then one day, you didn’t show up to class.

Mark texted you the entire night before and even sent you tik toks to laugh at. He knew you were fine and if you were skipping class, you’d definitely let him know. You didn’t respond to the texts he sent during the day.

His spidey senses tingled, he knew something was up.

He called you while at lunch. And to his surprise, you answered.

“Y/n? Where are you?”

There was silence over the line for a brief moment, then you sniffled. “Hey, Mark. I’m home today, I just needed..a break.”

Mark paused. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Mark, I’ll see you later. Please don’t come and look for me.”

“H-“ he started but you had already hung up.

He pursed his lips and looked intensely at his screen. Something was definitely up and he wasn’t going to stop until he found out what it was.

So after his last class, he headed to your house and knocked at the door.

When you didn’t answer, he walked around the house, looking for a way to get in without causing any damage.

He eventually found an open window on the second floor and after looking around to make sure no one was watching, he climbed up the side of the house and entered through it.

He stood up straight and saw that he was in your room, but you weren’t there.

Then he saw what looked to be a body under the blanket on your bed.

“Y/n?”

He quickly lifted the blanket and jumped in horror. It was a slide-sized Spider-Man action figure.

He had a sticky note on his face that pressed “press my belly button.”

Mark pressed the button and heard it speak through its fake mouth.

“Oh, hello, Spider-Man, or should I call you Mark?”

His eyes widened as the male voice spoke.

“Well..it doesn’t really matter..see, I’ve got your lovely girlfriend here with me..”

Mark here’s your muffled screaming in the background.

He grits his teeth.

“And she is here, waiting for you at the very top of the largest building in the city. I know you’re new here, but I’m sure you can find it.”

Mark curses to himself, he was caught with you and by some bastard that he didn’t know. Did Kingpin have his men follow him?

“Oh, and that nice friend of her’s, hmmm Haechan is it? He’s outside her house, but he’s probably all tied up.. don’t be late, Markipoo, we wouldn’t want y/n to hang out with me much longer..”

The recording stops playing. Mark runs out of the house, but stops in his tracks.

He’s too late.

Johnny and Yuta stand beside Haechan’s car. Haechan has JI mouth covered by a piece of fabric but his eyes are open and wet with tears.

He lets out a loud scream when he hears Mark.

They tied him to the hood of the car while the engine runs. He was literally tied up.

“Hey!” Mark calls out and runs towards them, but Johnny places a brick onto the gas pedal and puts the car in drive.

Haechan screams even louder as the car rolls down the hill fast.

Mark runs after it, struggling to keep up as it speeds down the street.

Johnny and Yuta stand back and laugh.

Mark had to find a way to beat, he had to calculate his speed so he could overrun it and stop it. Or he could shoot webs out from the back and pull it towards him.

His mind runs at 100mph as it goes through every possibility while he pants and runs.

“Haechan! Don’t worry! I’ve got you!”

The car is too heavy, and it’s going too fast, so he can’t hold it with his spiderweb material.

He leaps forward and up into the air, landing just a few feet in front of the incoming car.

He puts his hands in front of him and braces for impact. He had never taken on such a huge task before, he prayed that he would be strong enough to take a 4,000 pound car going at 80 miles per hour.

He grunts and presses forward onto the top of the car, causing it to make a loud skrrt sound and a huge dent to form. He uses his legs for stability as he struggles to stop it from going any further.

But he slides downward in his two feet.

“Shit.shit.shit.shit” he murmurs out.

Haechan cries to the heavens for help.

Mark pushes forward even harder while gritting his teeth. He lifts the hood slightly.

With a loud groan and harsh grip, he tears the engine out to stop the car.

The wheels slow to a halt and Mark places the car down.

He stumbles on his feet and nearly passes out, but he had to keep moving, he had to find you.

So he quickly puts his mask on before people come outside of their homes to see what the ruckus is about, then he unties Haechan.

“Oh my God..oh my God, what the hell?!”

Haechan panics and shakes.

“Mark, you’re—you’re..the guy..”

“Haechan, we can talk about this later. What is the tallest building and where can I find it?”

Haechan points in the direction of the tallest building in the town. It’s 1,000 feet high and is owned by none other than Kingpin.

Mark’s eyes narrowed as he clenched his jaw.

He swings through town quickly to get to you.

Once at the building, he decided that it would be faster to climb.

Meanwhile, Taeyong has you tied up and gagged.

Tears stream down your face.

“It’s such a shame things had to be this way..I kinda liked you.” Taeyong strokes your cheek with his thumb.

His phone rings.

“What is it?”

“He should be there soon.”

You hear a man’s voice say on the other line.

Taeyong gives a devilish smile and looks back at you as he hangs up.

“Perfect.” He winks.

He steps forward to you and takes your bound wrists in his hand. He takes your gag off with the other.

“Would you like to beg for your life now?”

“Fuck you, Taeyong! I never did anything to you!”

Taeyong smiles when you curse. “You’re right. All you did was go to class and look pretty...oh and decide to date a superhero. You had to expect us to use you as leverage.”

You shook your head. “Taeyong, you’re not like your father, you’re better than him! Please don’t do this.”

Wind blew your hair back as Taeyong had opened one of the floor-to-ceiling windows on the top floor.

Taeyong’s smile fell when you mentioned his father.

“I know I’m better than him, sweetheart, I get right to the source of my problems.”

He strokes your cheek again. “You know..you’re a lot prettier when you don’t speak, but right now..I want you to scream for me.”

He suddenly pushes you out the window but grabs the end of the rope that has tied your hands up.

You let out a blood curdling scream as you stare down as the tiny people and cars so far below you. You cry even harder.

“Just like that, sweetheart, you sound beautiful.”

He smirks and ties the rope to a pole to keep your body dangling.

“Mark!!” You cry out when you see him in his Spider-Man suit climbing up the building towards you.

“No! Don’t come any closer! It’s a trap!!” You try to stop him but Mark doesn’t stop, you’re right there and he has to get to you.

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout..” Taeyong sings to himself as he picks up his father’s machine gun.

He aims it out of the window and at Mark.

“Down came the rain and washed the spider out.”

He pulls back on the trigger, allowing bullets to fly in the direction of the crawling Spider-Man.

“Mark!!” You cry out once again as Mark let’s go with one hand and dangles with the other. He quickly moves from side to side to dodge the bullets.

He regains his position and continues climbing.

“Oh, he’s a stubborn spider.” Taeyong grins and unloads on him again, this time never stopping.

He moves it from side to side to catch him.

A bullet flies right over Mark, breaking his suit and cutting his skin. He curses then looks back up.

He had to pay attention, he had to get to you.

Taeyong goes maniacal with the gun but he just can’t seem to get him.

He stops when he’s out of bullets and Mark is just a few feet away.

You think he’s given up because he’s lost, but Taeyong got just what he wanted.

“Okay, sweetheart..” he unties the rope from the pole and holds it in his hands. “It’s time to fly like the beautiful angel you are.”

You look back at him with wide eyes. “Taeyong!”

He lets go of the rope. You fall out through the window fast and past Mark.

Mark throws his head into your direction and leaps off of the building towards you.

He tries to fly down fast but he can’t keep up with your falling body, he’s so close but he can’t get to you.

You cry and think about your life, you never imagined this would be how you’d die.

You see Mark coming after you with all his strength, you know he’s doing his best. But it was impossible, there’s no way he’d get to you in time.

And so you felt yourself lose consciousness.

Your head fell back and your body fell limply.

“No, no, no, no don’t give up on me!” Mark yells and stretches his arms out, he shoots two strings from his wrists.

They latch onto you, he pulls back as hard as he can, your body flying into his arms as he still falls down the side of the building.

He spins around and shoots another string onto the building. His fall stops abruptly and his body flings itself into the glass. He holds you in his arms to protect you from the shattered glass.

You both fall onto the floor of an office. People jump up and yell in shock.

“Oh my god..it’s Spider-Man.” a few people say with gasps.

But Mark is focused on you. He doesn’t feel the pain from the impact, for his heart breaks for you. He unties your hands and holds one of them in his own.

“Y/n..y/n.. please talk to me..” leans over you and shakes you gently. Your body lies limply. Your mouth is slightly parted and your eyes are still closed. He hears a faint heartbeat.

He starts to tear up when you don’t respond.

“Y/n, I’m sorry..” he lifts his mask off and kisses you on the cheek.

He doesn’t care who sees him and can possibly expose his identity.

“Please..just wake up..tell me you’re okay..” he then kisses you on the lips.

Your eyes flutter open when you feel his soft lips on yours.

You place your hands on the side of his face, the people in the office clap and cheer.

You breathe him in before kissing him back. He pulls away and smiles down at you. His wavy brown hair hangs over your face and his eyes are teary.

“Are you crying, loser?” You give him a small smile.

Mark laughs and kisses you again.

Once you assured him that you were okay, Mark hunted Taeyong down at one of his father’s warehouses. Taeyong, Johnny, and Yuta waited there for him with a gun and several weapons, but they weren’t prepared for Spider-Man’s speed, strength, and agility, especially when all three were amplified by Mark’s anger. He gave them all an ass whooping they’d remember for the rest of their life, then had the cops come to arrest them. Mark didn’t go into much detail, but you knew that Kingpin, disappointed and hurt, disowned Taeyong and left him on his own to deal with his own actions.

When Taeyong tried to tell him who SpiderMan was, Kingpin called him a fool and deemed him mentally unstable, for a scrawny and nerdy kid with Harry Potter glasses couldn’t possibly have been the Spiderman that was kicking their asses.

Everyone thought Taeyong was crazy and Mark was never identified by the people in the office room.

Johnny and Yuta gave Taeyong up and admitted that they didn’t know who Spider-Man was, for if they had gone along with him, they’d only look crazy too.

Taeyong was arrested for attempted murder of both you and Haechan and sentenced to life in prison. He was tried as an adult and without the assistance of his wealthy father, didn’t stand a chance at getting away.

———

[December]

Finals were over and you could finally celebrate with Mark.

You joined him for the Winter Dance while dressed in a long, sleeveless icy blue dress.

“You look beautiful, like a princess.”

Mark blushed as he took your hand and led you to the dance floor.

You smiled and laughed out. He too looked dashingly handsome like a prince in his black suit and a bow tie that matched your dress. His hair was parted to the side and smoothed back, he didn’t have his glasses so he looked older, more mature.

The two of you swayed side to side. You laid your head on his shoulder and drank in the scent of his cologne. He smelled like flowers, his touch felt warm on your bare back.

There were stars decorating the dark gym in order to set the mood. White snowflakes also danced across the ceiling.

“I...have something to ask you..”

His low voice vibrates against your chest.

You raised your head and looked at all of the beauty marks on his neck and jaw. Funny enough, they were in all the places that you wanted to kiss.

“Yeah?”

Your soft voice makes him weak, he wants to hold you like this forever.

“Will you..” he clears his throat and glances down at you nervously. “..be my girlfriend?”

Your face lights up, you smile widely.

“I thought you’d never ask, Potter.” You kiss him on the lips and spend the rest of the night together.

1K notes · View notes

tyongxnct · 4 years

Text

𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 - 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛

pairing: Jaehyun x reader

special guests: Johnny, Doyoung and Jaemin.

Genre: angst, marriage!au, cheating!au

warnings: cheating, fainting, mentions of sex If you don’t feel comfortable reading about cheating, then feel free to skip this story. :)

word count: a little more than 12k

song rec: love me or leave me by little mix

note: I’m not a therapist or a doctor. The scenes in the hospital and at the couple therapy are just how I imagined it to be.

extra note: I love Jaehyun and this is PURE fiction.

A/N: thanks to my dear friend @kueey for proofreading this with me <3 I hope you guys like this story and please don’t get too mad at Jaehyun hihi ENJOY!!

ps: I AM SO EXCITED FOR NCT 2020 I really look forward to everything we’ll get and I’ll forever support OT23.. I hope that each member gets treated well and is happy and healthy. AND I can’t wait any longer for superm hehe

“I can’t believe you! Why? I don’t understand?! Why would you do something like that? Why would you try to destroy our marriage?!”, you were furious and heartbroken. After seven years of being together, you never thought that Jaehyun would cheat on you. You never thought that he’d moan someone else’s name while being with you.

You kissed him. “I missed this so much.”, it was hard for you two, both of you were working and you had a four year old daughter and a five year old son. There was never really time for things like sex. It’s been some time since you slept together, and you couldn’t wait anymore. You missed having Jaehyun close next to you, you missed feeling him inside of you and you missed his touch. “You feel so good, Areum.”, you pushed him away. “W-what?”, you asked, maybe you misheard him. “What do you mean?”, he tried to kiss your neck, but you pushed him again. “W-what did you just say? A-Areum?”, and that was the exact moment Jaehyun knew, that he fucked up. Bad. “N-No I-I didn’t...”, he stuttered. “Get off of me!”, you pushed him again and crawled against the bed rest. “Who is Areum?!” “No one, baby. I’m sorry.”, he tried to get closer again, but you stretched out your hand to stop him. “Don’t come closer! Stop lying to me! Tell me now Jaehyun or I will leave, and you’ll never get the chance to explain!” “Baby- I... It’s... She’s someone from work...” “And?”, you were getting angrier every second. “I-It’s I promise you I’ll never do it again and it’s been weeks since the last time I-”, he couldn’t even look at your face. “Since you what?”,

“Since I-I slept with her.”, his voice got quieter and quieter. You got up and put on your clothes as fast as you could. “Baby just listen to me. I swear I’m so sorry-”, Jaehyun tried to reach for your arms but you stepped back and looked at him with disgust in your eyes. “For how long?” “Baby-”, “No Jaehyun! Answer the question!”, you couldn’t even cry. “Three months I think...”, a tear fell down Jaehyun’s cheek.

Your man was sleeping with another woman for three months, if he was telling the truth of course.

“You had an affair for three months?”, you were heartbroken. You were fully dressed and opened your bedroom door to leave, but he stopped you, this fight needed to end in the bedroom, your little kids were asleep, and they shouldn’t witness what was happening right now. “No. Don’t go, baby. I’m sorry. I stopped seeing her, I love you.”

“You love me? Funny, last time I checked you said Areum. You said her name! I can’t even look at you! You disgust me so much! What kind of a husband are you huh?! What were you even thinking?!”, tears were finally falling down your cheeks, you couldn’t stop them from falling so you just let them.

“I said that I’m sorry! I stopped seeing her. I will never do it again, I love you!”, he screamed back at you.

“I can’t believe you! Why? I don’t understand?! Why would you do something like that? Why would you try to destroy our marriage?!”

You really wanted to know why Jaehyun would throw away a 7 year old relationship.

“Look, we didn’t have any second for us in the past, I don’t know, five months and I missed you so much but you were always working and you never had time for me! I felt... lonely or some shit, I don’t know and... and she was there for me in those three months...”, did he just say it was all your fault?

“So, you are telling me that this is my fault? Because I am working and raising two children. You think I was the one who never had time? When you fucked another woman, I was home alone with your kids! You lied to me and now you are fucking blaming me?!”, he couldn’t be serious. “I am the one suffering from all of this! I am suffering right now because of you and you are still blaming me?! I tried so hard to be a good wife, mother, friend and employee and I am still not enough?”, your voice was quiet. Jaehyun felt like he was never good enough for you, he was just ordinary while you were amazing at everything you did. Jaehyun felt like a piece of shit and he needed someone to tell him that he was also good enough, and instead of talking to his wife, he decided to talk to his co-worker and that led to more.

“What suffering?! I am still with you, I could have left you and stayed with her instead but I chose you!”, words were coming out of his mouth without him processing it, he said things he didn’t mean and he wanted to take them back, but he couldn’t.

You slapped him. You slapped him so hard that his brain started working again. He deserved it.

“You chose me? Nobody asked you for that. You are right, maybe you should have stayed with her.”, he looked at you for the first time now, his hand was on his cheek and his heart clenched.

“I- I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it.”, he cried as he tried to take his words back.

You couldn’t think straight, and you couldn’t stay with him, you needed to leave. Right now.

You opened the bedroom door and put on your shoes as fast as you could. “Don’t leave me, please. Baby don’t go. It’s late... let’s talk about it. Please don’t leave me.”, he was begging you. Without a second glance, you took the keys for your car and left the apartment you shared so many great memories with and now with the worst.

Jaehyun was on his knees crying his heart out. He needed you to come back to him, you needed to know that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean it.

“Dad?”, Jaemin held his little sister’s hand and watched his father. His little daughter looked confused and his son looked sad.

“My babies why are you up?”, he tried to cover his tears as he walked up to his kids. "You were loud, daddy. Are you crying, daddy?”, she asked her dad as she placed her little hand on his cheek. “Why are you awake, dad?”, his son asked.

“Daddy had a nightmare, but I feel better now. Thanks to you.”, he placed a kiss on his daughter’s forehead and on his son’s. “Tell mommy to give you a goodnight kiss, that helps every time.”, he tried so hard not to cry in front of his kids. “Okay, I’ll tell her, but you have to sleep now, it’s late.”

“Daddy can you sing for me? Mommy always sings me to sleep.”, how could he say no to his one and only daughter.

Jaehyun didn’t sleep for the whole night, he waited for you to come back, but you didn’t.

You were driving around Seoul. You didn’t know what to do. Go back home? You couldn’t let your kids notice what was happening between you and Jaehyun and Jaehyun... your heart was broken, and it needed time. You decided to call the only person who could help you right now. Johnny.

“Good morning, what can I do for you at this hour?”, Johnny, one of your oldest friends asked, still half asleep. It was 7 am on a Sunday, of course he was still asleep.

“Hey, Johnny. Sorry for waking you up-”, your voice trembled.

“Did you fucking cry?”, he always knew that something was wrong. “I-…Yes..., Johnny, Jaehyun had an affair.”

“I’m sorry what? What did you just say?”, he didn’t want to believe it. “He slept with his co-worker for three months. I f-found out last night and I didn’t know what to do… so I l-left.”, you started crying.

“I can’t believe this, where are you? I’m coming to you.”, Johnny didn’t want to leave you alone.

“No, I’m fine, well not fine but Jaehyun and the kids need you. I left last night just like that, and I want to go to my babies, but I-I Johnny I just can’t face him. It hurts so much.”, you tried to stop your tears from falling but you couldn’t.

“Okay, you don’t have to worry, I’ll go to them. But please tell me that you are safe and text me whenever you need me. Do you know where you want to stay already?”, you knew you could count on him. “I have a friend from work I could ask.”, Johnny was the brother you never had, and you were his sister he never had. You were friends since kindergarten, and he was actually the one who introduced you to Jaehyun in college.

“Alright, just let me know you’re safe.”

“Thank you, Johnny.”

“Always.”

Jaehyun was playing with Minah and Jaemin on the floor as he tried to distract his kids. “Daddy is mommy coming back today?”, Minah asked him.

He hoped.

“I don’t really know, baby. Don’t you enjoy playing with your daddy?”, he asked her. “Daddy is the best!”, she hugged him, and tears were forming in his eyes.

The doorbell rang and Jaehyun and his kids jumped up and hoped to see you standing there, but it was Johnny.

“Uncle Johnny!”, Minah loved her uncle Johnny. “Hey there princess.”, he hugged Minah and high fived Jaemin “Wow, Jaemin. You are growing up so fast.”, and as he looked at his friend, he saw nothing but pain in his eyes.

“Jaemin and Minah, why don’t you go to your room to play. I’ll be there in 5 minutes to play with you, okay?”, Johnny asked the little kids.

“Why are you here?”, Jaehyun asked. “Is it wrong to look after my friend and his kids?”, Johnny took off his jacket and sat down in the living room.

“She called you, didn’t she? Where is she? Johnny please tell me, I need to know where she is.”, he begged his friend now.

“Listen, Jaehyun, I know that this between you two, but please tell me what in the world did you think you were doing?”

Jaehyun sat down next to him and started crying silently so his kids wouldn’t notice. “Johnny I’m a terrible husband. I fucked up so bad. I-I thought everything was over but-”, he hid his face in his hands. “I fucking said someone else’s name while being with my wife. I am so sorry. I need her I can’t live without her.”

Jaehyun told Johnny everything that has happened last night. Johnny was shocked to hear his friend do such thing. Never did he think that Jaehyun would do that to you. He loved you way too much.

“I am speechless.”

“D-Do you hate me now, too?”, Jaehyun was scared to lose everyone.

“No, I don’t hate you but… you really broke her heart and I don’t know If she’ll stay with you after this.”, he was honest.

“Johnny I can’t lose her, I’d do anything.”

“It won’t be easy, that’s all I can say. But I’m here for you.”

It’s been three days since you left. You were missing your kids so much, it hurt you so much to be far away from them. You were staying with one of your friends from work, Soobin. She was always there for you and she invited you with open arms.

You decided to talk to your babies, they probably missed you, too. You dialed Jaehyun’s number, you were scared, and your hands were shaking.

“(Y/n)? H-hello-”, you interrupted Jaehyun before he could say anything more. His voice sounded different. “I want to talk to my kids.”

“A-Aren’t you going to... come back?”, he whispered.

“I just want to talk to Minah and Jaemin.”

“Okay... Baby? It’s mommy.”

“Mommy!! Mommy I missed you so much!”, Minah said as she talked to her mother after a long time.

“God, baby. Mommy missed you, too. I love you so much, baby. I promise you I’ll come to you as soon as I can.”, you tried to stop your tears.

“Mommy don’t cry. I want to play with you mommy but playing with daddy is also cool. And mommy, Jaemin is not nice! He never wants to play with me.”, she cried into the phone.

“Okay baby, I’ll talk to him. Can you give me your brother now? I love you.”

“I love you too mommy. Jaemin!! It’s mommy!”

Jaemin was angry, even though he’s just five he noticed that you and Jaehyun were fighting.

“Hello? Jaemin baby can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Baby I missed you so much. How are you?”, you wanted to talk to him, but he was too angry at you.

“I don’t miss you! I hate you! Dad is crying because of you! I hate you!”, your heart stopped beating. Your son just told you that he hated you. Your own son. You cried, it hurt so much. You didn’t know what to do.

“Baby I’m sorry. I-”

“No! -”

“Jaemin why are you behaving like that? That’s not nice. You are talking to your mother-”, Jaehyun tried to calm his son down.

“No! I hate you!”, he suddenly also screamed at Jaehyun. Jaemin threw the phone on the floor and ran in his room.

Minah started crying and you heard it all, but you couldn’t do anything. Your heart broke at the sound of your babies crying and yelling. Your son hates you.

Jaehyun took his phone and heard you crying.

“I’m sorry he didn’t mean it. Don’t take it to heart, he’s... he’s just angry right now. I’ll handle it, okay? Don’t worry.”, Jaehyun wanted you to stop crying but you just couldn’t. You missed your family so much; it tore you apart.

“I’m... I’m sorry.”, you hung up and cried yourself to sleep. Again.

Two days later, you decided to call Johnny.

“Hey Johnny.”

“How are you? You sound miserable.”, he didn’t want to be mean or anything, but you really sounded like you just died three times.

“Thank you. I am miserable. My son hates me, my husband cheated on me and I didn’t see my kids for a week.”

“Jaemin doesn’t hate you. He’s simply scared and sad, he is a little kid, he doesn’t understand what is happening right now, but he gets that you two are fighting. Of course, he’s angry. I’d be angry, too. Please stop thinking that way.”

“I don’t know. I’m trying so hard but I just- it’s so hard. How’s Jaehyun?”, you asked him. Of course, you were still worried, you love him and even though he broke your heart, he’s the father of your children.

“He’s sick. I mean like seriously he has fever and all that stuff, I was there this morning, he ate some soup but he’s like sick. The kids are always in their rooms playing. He told me to leave, that he’d handle it, but I don’t know. I was going to look after them tonight.”

Jaehyun was sick. You didn’t want to, but you were so worried right now that you decided to go to your family. They needed you and you needed them.

“I’ll go. Thank you for everything.”

“Are you sure?”, Johnny asked.

“I need to be with my family.”

After the phone call with Johnny, you dressed up and drove to your home. It was strange to go there after a week, you missed it so much and you wished that it was all a bad nightmare, but as soon as you arrived in front of your home, you felt all the pain in your heart again.

You opened the door and took off your jacket and shoes. Scenes of the night you left played in front of your eyes. How Jaehyun was crying his heart out and how betrayed you felt.

You saw your husband laying on the couch with your son next to him. Father and son were sleeping, and a smile placed on your face. It warmed your heart to see the two like that.

But you couldn’t let your son sleep so close to his sick father. You carried your son to his bed and let him sleep there. On your way back you stopped at your daughters’ room and saw her also sleeping. She’s beautiful and you missed your kids so much. You would never leave them again. No matter what would happen.

You went back to Jaehyun and tried to slowly wake him up. “Jaehyun. Jaehyun wake up, let’s get you to bed.”

Jaehyun slowly opened his eyes and he saw your beautiful face. “Am... Am I still dreaming?”, he put his hand on your cheek.

“Jaehyun, stop it and get up. I can’t carry you to bed.”, you didn’t want him to touch you, so you pushed his hand away.

“I can’t believe you are real. I love you.”, Jaehyun looked and sounded so sick. His nose was red, and he was shivering. “I’m so cold.”

After you put Jaehyun to bed, you placed your hand on his forehead, just to see how hot he was. “You are burning.”

Jaehyun could hardly open his eyes, but he needed to see you. He missed you so much, he didn’t even know if you were real or not.

You went to the bathroom and came back with wet towels. “Jaehyun you need to take off your shirt.”

He slowly tried to take off his shirt, but he was too weak. “I’ll help you.” You helped him taking off his shirt and then you placed the hot towels on his body. “It’s so cold. The bed is always so cold when you are gone. Please don’t leave, I hate it when it’s cold.”, Jaehyun was talking in his half-awake state.

You tried to ignore him, but you also hated to sleep without him next to you, but after what he had done, you were too disgusted.

Jaehyun fell asleep again and you decided to cook a soup and you looked at your home, it was a mess. Well, you could imagine Johnny trying to clean up, but with a sick Jaehyun and two kids, it’s not easy. You cleaned the floor in the living room, putting the toys back to their right places and after that you cleaned up the kitchen a little. The soup was done and then you heard your little daughter crying. She woke up.

“Baby, Mommy is here it’s okay. Stop crying.”, you picked her up and she stopped crying immediately. “Mommy! Mommy I missed you so much!”

“I missed you to honey. I love you so much.”

After playing with your daughter, your son also woke up. “My little man I missed you so much.”, you were about to hug him, but he stepped back. “No! I don’t want you here!”, it hurt you so much to hear that.

“I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never leave again. It was an emergency I needed to go baby, but I’m back. Didn’t you miss your mom?”

“No, I didn’t I want dad not you!”, your son ran to his dad’s room and jumped on the bad to hug his dad. Jaehyun woke up as his son jumped around. “I don’t want mommy!”, your son cried into his dad’s arms.

“Jaemin I told you to stop saying that.”, Jaehyun sounded so weak. So fragile.

You decided to leave your son with Jaehyun, you didn’t want him to cry anymore.

After seeing Jaehyun so sick you thought of calling your mutual friend, who was a doctor. Kim Doyoung.

Doyoung told you that he’d be here in an hour and you poured the soup into a bowl and placed Jaehyun’s food next to him on the nightstand.

Jaehyun still looked half-asleep. “I need you so much.”, he whispered. You son was back in his room, playing on his own with his car toys.

“I called Doyoung, he’ll be here soon.”, you just said.

You knew that Jaehyun was too weak to eat on his own and you weren’t heartless.

“You need to finish this, okay? Open your mouth.”, you were sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to leave space between you two, so you could just help him eat.

You didn’t look at him, your eyes where everywhere except for his eyes. But Jaehyun, Jaehyun was watching all your moves, and he tried to look at your beautiful face and eyes, but you wouldn’t let him.

After he ate up the doorbell rang. You opened the door and saw Doyoung standing there. “Thank you so much for coming. He’s so sick and you know how he feels in hospitals.”

“No problem, I told you guys whenever you need me, I’d be here.”

Doyoung checked Jaehyun up and it was easy to tell why he was sick. You stood at the door and watched them.

“Were you stressed lately?”, Doyoung asked.

You looked on the floor, and Jaehyun looked at you and then back at Doyoung.

“Yes.”

“Alright, so your body couldn’t handle the stress and that’s how you got sick. You need to avoid stress and you need to stay calm. I’ll give you some pain killers and stay in bed. If anything else happens, just call me. But that’s it for now.”

Jaehyun’s regret and worry ate him up and he was so stressed after you left, that his body reacted like that, your heart clenched, but it wasn’t your fault, you told yourself.

After you thanked Doyoung, he left, and you made dinner for your kids. Jaemin didn’t talk to you but Minah never left your side.

“Mommy is daddy dying?”, she suddenly asked.

“What? Of course not? Why would you think that?”, you were shocked to hear you daughter ask such a question.

“I don’t know, Jaemin said daddy is dying.”, she shrugged her shoulders and played with her doll.

You seriously needed to talk with him, you knew that he was just sad and scared, but it was too much now.

You sat Minah on her chair and then you called Jaemin because dinner’s ready. After you called him two times, he didn’t come so you decided to look after him.

“Jaemin, dinner’s waiting for you.”, he was playing with his dinosaurs and ignored you.

“Jaemin?”

“I don’t want to!”, here we go again. “Jaemin you are making mommy really sad. Why do you hate me? I love you so much.”

“Dad always cries, and you screamed at him! You hurt dad!”, oh boy, seeing him like this hurt you so much.

Jaehyun was standing at the door and listened to his son. It is his fault, not yours. His son should hate him, not you.

“I’m so sorry that you feel that way, don’t be scared, we just talked loud. I don’t want you to think that we were fighting. You know that I love your dad I would never hurt him.”, you tried to hug your son, but he ran out of his room, he didn’t even notice Jaehyun standing there.

Jaehyun looked at you, his heart hurt. Everything was his fault and now you were really suffering the most. How could he tell his son, that he was wrong? That his father is a piece of shit. A cheater. How could he tell his son, that he broke his mother’s heart?

You were still sitting on the floor, with your hands you covered your face and cried. You tried to be quiet but Jaehyun was right there.

He was right behind you now and he placed his hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, please stop crying. I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him that it’s... that I’m the one who hurt you.”

“D-Don’t touch me.”, you ignored his words as you backed away. “Just go back to bed.”

You wiped away your tears and left Jaehyun alone, his eyes followed you. It hurt him that you react like that to his touches, but he understood. It hurt him, but you were way more hurt.

Back in the kitchen you helped Minah eating her food and Jaemin just looked at his. “Why is dad not with us?”, he asked.

“Your dad is sick and needs to sleep. I’ll bring him his soup after you eat.”

“I won’t eat without dad.”, he said now.

“Jaemin, he would love to eat with you-” “I want dad!”, he yelled now. There was no other way. “Okay I’ll get him.”

You went to your bedroom and opened the door slowly. Jaehyun wiped his tears away as fast as he could but you saw it. There was no point in hiding.

“Uhm, Jaemin won’t eat without you. C-Could you sit with us?”, you asked slowly.

“Y-Yes I’ll be there. Just give me a second.”, he said, and you nodded.

You went back to the kitchen and sat down “Dad’s coming.”, you smiled at your son. Your daughter was eating with her fingers and you watched her. You love her so much and you were ready to do anything for your kids’ happiness.

Jaehyun came and sat next to your son. “Dad! Let’s eat together!”, Jaemin finally started eating.

“Do you want your soup now or later?”, you asked Jaehyun.

“Now, please.”, he watched his kids eating and it felt almost like before.

Jaehyun was eating his soup and your kids were also eating. Everyone was eating except you.

“Mommy aren’t you hungry?”, Minah asked.

“No, I’m not hungry.”, you said. “But Mommy you always tell us to eat even if we are not hungry. You need to eat, too!”, after that one night, you lost your appetite. You rarely ate, most of the times you would just eat an apple.

“I’ll eat later, okay? You need to finish first.”

“Okay mommy.”

Minah and Jaemin played around with Jaehyun and you were just sitting there and tried to stop the pain. You tried to forget everything, but you couldn’t.

It was already 10pm and your kids were already sleeping. You didn’t know what exactly to do. Jaehyun was in bed and you were sitting on the couch in the living room.

What was going to happen next? Are you just going to sleep next to him and act like nothing happened? Are you just going to pretend that everything was fine?

You decided to take a hot bath, but first you made Jaehyun a hot tea. You opened the door to the bedroom and saw him sitting there and looking helpless. His nose was still red.

“I made you some tea.”, you put the tea on the nightstand and Jaehyun watched you.

“Thank you.”, suddenly he held your wrist before you could leave. “W-Where is it?”, he asked. “What do you mean?”, first, you didn’t understand. “Where is the ring? Where’s the wedding ring?”, he was so scared of your answer.

“I took it off.”, you just said, avoiding his gaze.

“Y-You took it off. Why?”, his voice trembled. “It didn’t feel right to wear it.”

“B-But you promised. You promised me that you’d never take it off! You promised me that you’d always wear it.”, tears fell down his cheeks. He was so desperate. It was your wedding ring. The ring that showed that you two belonged together.

You were angry. How could he say something like that and cry? How could he act like you were the first one to break a promise? You looked into his eyes for the first time.

“And you promised me to be faithful. You promised me to never break my heart. You promised me to never hurt me and always love me.”, you pulled away your arm from his grip and stepped back.

“I guess promises are meant to be broken.”

You turned on your heel and went to the bathroom. After you closed the door behind you, you started crying. You tried to be as quiet as possible but Jaehyun heard you.

You were right. He broke so many promises he made. Jaehyun broke your heart and he’s scared that you’ll never forgive him. You cried and cried and didn’t leave the bathroom for the next two hours. You were finally home but it didn’t feel like it. You were finally with your kids, but your son hated you. Your words really hit Jaehyun. There was no way that you’d forgive him. He was clueless and he regretted everything so much, he didn’t know what to do.

You couldn’t sleep at all that night. You were sleeping on the couch in the living room, but you were scared that your kids would see you. You were worried about the future. What is going to happen to your marriage? The voice in your head always reminded you that ‘Your husband cheated on you’, you couldn’t stop the voice in your head. But it was the reality you had to face.

Minah was the first to wake up. “Good morning baby.”, you lifted her up and kissed her cheeks. “Mommy I’m hungry.” You heard your son waking up and he opened your bedroom door and jumped on the bed.

“Dad wake up!”, he jumped around.

With Minah in your arms, you went to your bedroom and saw Jaehyun slowly waking up. “Jaemin your dad is still sick. He needs to rest.”.

“It’s alright. I’m feeling better.”, he smiled at his son. “I want to play with daddy, too!”, your daughter said. You placed your daughter on Jaehyun’s lap. “I’ll prepare breakfast.”

You would never destroy the relationship between Jaehyun and your kids. Jaehyun’s a great dad, no, a wonderful dad. When you told him that you were pregnant with Jaemin he was so excited. He was so careful with you and fulfilled every wish you had. Even after you gave birth, he never left your side and helped you as much as he could. Jaehyun told you that he wanted 10 kids with you, when you got married and even after Minah he didn’t want to stop having kids.

You smiled at the memory. You started to blame yourself. After giving birth to two kids, your body didn’t look like before. You felt ugly, of course Jaehyun would cheat on you. Look at you. You look like an ugly piece of shit, you thought.

Your thoughts were interrupted with Jaehyun coming into the kitchen with both of your kids in his arms. “Let’s help mommy”, he said and put his kids down.

Suddenly you got angry. Did he think that you can’t even prepare a simple breakfast? You don’t need help. You are strong.

“I can handle it.”, you said coldly.

“No, it’s alright, I can help you.”, he wanted to take the pan from your hand. “No, Jaehyun. I don’t need your help.”, you raised your voice a little. You totally forgot that the kids were also in the kitchen.

You hated to be like this in front of the kids, but you couldn’t control your anger. Jaehyun looked at you with an open mouth. Before you could say anything, the doorbell rang. Luckily, your kids were busy with playing on the kitchen floor, you hoped that they didn’t hear your voice raising at Jaehyun.

You went to open the door and saw Johnny standing there with Donuts. “Morning. I have donuts!”, he was happy to see you finally home. He knew that it was hard for you and that’s why he visited you guys.

“Thank you John-”, before you could finish your sentence, everything went black and you passed out. The last thing you heard was Johnny telling Jaehyun to call an ambulance.

Jaehyun called the ambulance and ran to you and Johnny. “What... What happened? (Y/n)? Can you hear me? Baby please open your eyes.”, Jaehyun held you in his arms and he totally forgot about his kids who were watching the scene. Johnny saw them standing there and lifted both kids up and brought them to their room. “What is happening to my... my mom?”, Jaemin cried. He was so scared. Your daughter was already crying and screaming. She was also totally scared, and she didn’t understand what was happening.

“She’ll be fine, don’t worry. You dad’s going to the hospital, they’ll look after her. Don’t worry.” Johnny tried to cheer the kids up, but he also didn’t know what was happening.

Jaehyun was holding you and crying. It felt like hours until the ambulance came. He never let go of you.

You woke up in a bright room. You didn’t know where you were or what happened. Your eyes slowly got used to the bright lights and then you saw Jaehyun sitting next to you on a chair, eyes closed.

You tried to take your hand away, but he didn’t let go. You slowly tried to sit up and Jaehyun also woke up.

“You’re awake. How are you feeling? Wait never mind, I’ll just call the doctor.” before you could say anything he ran out of the room and called the doctor.

He came back with the doctor and held your hand again as he sat down next to you.

“How are you feeling, Mrs. Jung?”, he asked you as he looked through your file.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m alright.”, the doctor couldn’t heal the pain in your heart, obviously.

“I need to ask you some question. When was the last time you ate something?”, he looked at you and Jaehyun, too. You felt uncomfortable.

“Uhm, I- can’t answer that.”, you looked down.

“Why?”, he asked. “Because I don’t know.”, you answered quietly. Jaehyun looked at you with worry written all over his face.

The doctor wrote something down and looked back at you. “And sleep? Can you sleep or are you having trouble with that?”

You nodded slowly “It’s hard to fall asleep.”

“How long did you sleep last night?”

“Not at all.”, you didn’t want Jaehyun to know that.

“And the night before?”, the doctor asked. “Maybe two hours?”, you weren’t sure. “Were you stressed lately?”, why is everybody asking you and Jaehyun this. Is it that obvious?

“Y-Yes.”, you finally freed your hand out of Jaehyun’s, who was in his own world right now. This needs to stop, first Jaehyun got sick because of the stress and now you were in the hospital.

“Well, your body needs energy. You must eat to produce energy. And sleep is especially important. Your body and mind need to recover, it seems like your body couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t know what is going on in your private life, but I recommend you to see a psychologist. Your mental state is connected to your body, and If you don’t do anything about it, your body will also suffer. I’ll give you some vitamins you need to take, and you need to stay for tonight, we need to make sure, you won’t pass out again. Any questions?”, the doctor told you all of this in one go and you knew that it was true. But it was so hard for you. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the fight in front of you. Every time you ate something, you thought of you husband with someone else and you couldn’t continue eating.

“No. Thank you.”, you said,

“That’s it then. I hope you get well soon.”, you tried to smile at him, but you were too weak.

After the doctor left, you mind wandered to your kids. “The kids- Jaehyun! The kids, where are my kids?”, you totally forgot that Johnny came to visit.

“They are with Johnny. Don’t worry, he came before you... passed out.”, he looked down, to ashamed to be the reason that you were laying in a hospital bed.

“Where’s my phone?”, you asked. “At home. You can use mine.”, he handed you his.

You looked at the phone in is hand. Did he saved her number? Did he text her? Is he still texting her? Do they have pictures together? You had thousand questions. “C-Call Johnny. FaceTime.”, you would never touch that phone. After two rings, Johnny answered.

“Hey, are you guys alright? Where’s (Y/n)?”, he asked. Jaehyun turned the phone to you. “I’m fine, Johnny. Thank you. Can I talk to the kids?”

“Sure. Minah. Jaemin. It’s your mom.”, he handed the phone Jaemin, who was sitting next to Minah. “Mommy! Where are you?”, Minah started crying. “Baby don’t cry. Daddy and I are staying together. Don’t worry okay? We’ll come back home tomorrow.”, you didn’t want to tell her that you were staying at the hospital.

“Jaemin, baby? Can you be a good big brother and look after your sister? I love you two so much.”, your son didn’t say a word. He started crying and you did, too. It broke your heart that he didn’t talk to you. “Daddy.”, Minah cried out. “Yes baby?”, he came closer and he could also be seen now. “Daddy give Mommy a kiss. That will help her. Mommy always kisses us when we are sick.”, she insisted, while crying. Jaehyun and you wanted to stop your daughter from crying and that’s why you nodded after he asked you with his eyes.

He slowly placed a kiss on your forehead. You had your eyes closed and you missed him so much that it hurt to feel his lips on your skin again. Jaehyun’s eyes were also closed and the kiss felt like forever.

After the call ended, you watched the sun go down. Jaehyun was outside, getting your food. You still didn’t want to eat. But after what happened today, you didn’t want to scare your kids like this again.

He brought you tomato soup, salat and rice with some meat. The soup reminded you, that Jaehyun was still sick.

“Jaehyun.”, you said. “Yes? Is it too hot?”, he asked.

“No, just- You’re still sick, you should rest and eat this, you need it more than I do.”, he looked at you like you were crazy.

“What? No. I’m totally fine. You need to finish all of this and then you’ll sleep. I’m feeling way better.”, you were the most important person for him.

“But-”

“No but’s. I’ll just buy myself a sandwich or something.”

“This is too much for me. Let’s share. I know that you love tomato soup.”, his heart flipped as you said this. You know everything about him. He didn’t answer, just watched you. “Jaehyun?”

“Mhm?”

“I said let’s share the soup. Please?”

How could he say no to the most beautiful woman he has ever seen?

After sharing your soup, you slowly finished the rest. It was awkward that Jaehyun was just sitting next to you on the chair. “Jaehyun, go home.”

“What? Why?”

“The chair is uncomfortable, I know that you can’t stand hospitals, and you are sick, and the kids need you-”, he interrupted you “And I need you, and I won’t go anywhere without you. I don’t care If I sleep on this chair or on the floor. I just want to be with you.”

You looked at him for a second and then you hid your face under your blanket. You didn’t know what exactly you felt when he said that, but you felt so many things.

Pain, love, longing.

You were so exhausted that you fell asleep and Jaehyun watched you. He was scared that it could be the last time he saw your face. Jaehyun couldn’t let you go. He wouldn’t. But what if you do leave him one day?

Jaehyun and you were finally home. Your kids were at the kindergarten thanks to Johnny. You called in sick for work and Jaehyun did too. You two barely spoke since last night. Whenever he said something, he got short replies from you.

You were laying on the couch and Jaehyun was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, even though you weren’t hungry, but he insisted.

Jaehyun was worried. He was determined to cook for you and keep you healthy. He heard some voices from the living room and thought that you were watching TV or something. But as he stood behind you, he leaned against the doorframe and watched you watching your wedding videos.

You were so bored, that you decided to watch the happy times. You wanted to see how it was to be happy and in love. You missed that feeling, you missed Jaehyun looking at you like he did on your wedding day.

In the next clip, you were slow dancing with Jaehyun. Your first dance as a married couple. Everything was perfect. Too good to be true.

Jaehyun heard you sniffing and knew that you were crying again. He placed your breakfast on the table and sat down next to you. Not too close, he didn’t want you to back away or something.

“What happened to us?”, you asked him with a trembling voice. “We were so happy.”

The next clip was the day you gave birth to Jaemin. Jaehyun was crying and he held your hand. “Come on baby, you got this. You are incredible. I love you so much.”

“I love you Jaehyun- Oh god!”, you screamed as you were giving birth. Jaehyun supported you as much as he could. He let you squeeze his hand, scream and yell at him because of the pain you were going through.

“I... I don’t know...”, Jaehyun looked at you and then back at the TV. It was Jaemin’s first birthday.

“I am not hungry.”, you said. Because you really weren’t.

“You need to eat something. The Doctor strictly told you to-”, he tried to convince you, but you were to angry.

“I don’t care! I don’t fucking care!”, you yelled at him suddenly. You watched your son smiling happily at you but now, now he hated you. The smile on Jaemin’s face triggered something in you. “This is all your fault! Everything is your fucking fault!”

“I know. I’m sorry. Just eat a little-”, he tried to calm you down.

“I don’t want to eat something I want my son! You did this to me! He hates me because of you! My son hates me. He hates me.”, you were covering your face as you cried. Jaehyun was sitting next to you, helpless.

“My own son hates me for something I didn’t even do. I don’t deserve all of this. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“I’ll talk to him, please stop crying. You didn’t do anything wrong.”, Jaehyun’s heart arched.

“You will talk to him?”, your blood shot eyes looked at him now. “What are you going to tell him? ‘I cheated on your mother Jaemin.’ huh? ‘You mother didn’t do anything wrong; it was me who fucked someone else.’?! What are you going to tell him?!”, your voice got louder every second.

Jaehyun was also crying now. “I-I don’t know. Are you ever going to forgive me? I know I fucked up big time and it was the biggest mistake in my life.”, he was about to hold your hand, but you pulled away.

“A mistake you did for three whole months. Why did you even stop? Got too bored with her? Were you looking for someone else to fuck? Two women weren’t enough for you?”, she was furious, and she wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her.

“Don’t say that. You are the only one for me, (Y/n). I... You were -are- too good for me. I didn’t know how to express my feelings. I know I made a mistake for months, but I was scared!”, he tried to wipe away his tears, but it didn’t help, tears were falling down his cheeks.

“Obviously, I wasn’t the only one. Would you ever tell me about it? If you hadn’t... If I hadn’t found out that night would you have ever told me?”

Would he? He didn’t know.

“I-I don’t know...”

You didn’t say anything to this.

“Maybe we should just get a div-”, you said but Jaehyun interrupted you. “Don’t you ever dare say that word. I won’t leave you. Ever. I know you don’t trust me, but I’ll do anything to gain your trust again. I’ll do anything you want me to. I love you so much, I can’t live without you. Please don’t leave me.”, he was on his knees now, looking up to your eyes and then his face fell into your lap and he cried.

The scene in front of you was heartbreaking. You looked at the TV and saw the clip of you and Jaehyun with Jaemin, a couple hours after you gave birth to Minah. Jaehyun cried out of happiness on the screen and now he was crying and holding onto you like you would disappear if he let go.

“I’ll be better. I promise you I’ll be the man you deserve. I promise you I’ll never hurt you again. Please don’t leave me. I love you. I love you so much.”, he cried and as you put your hand on his head and stroked his hair, you thought that maybe, just maybe, you could work things out.

“Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Jung. I’m Dr. Hwang. Since it is your first time here, it would be great if you could tell me a little about yourselves and your relationship.”

A week after your last fight with Jaehyun, you decided to go to couple therapy. You thought, maybe a professional could help you go through all of this.

“Let’s start with you, Mrs. Jung.”, she smiled at you.

Jaehyun was sitting on the other edge of the couch and felt uneasy. He feared someone else knowing about what kind of terrible husband he is. He was ashamed and he knew how hard it was for you.

“Well, I’m 28 and I’m working in a publishing company. That’s basically it.”, you didn’t know what other information she needed to know.

“Do you have any hobbies? What are you doing in your free time?”, she asked.

“If playing with my kids and cooking count as a hobby, then yes. And free time. I don’t know, I don’t actually have time for myself.”, you answered honestly.

“Alright. Now you Mr. Jung.”

“Well, I’m 29 and I work as a manager in a company. And I don’t have any hobbies.”

“Okay, thank you. Now please tell me how you two met and about your relationship in general.”

“We met in college.”, Jaehyun began talking with a smile on his face as he remembered how he met you. “It may sound cliché, but we didn’t like each other at first. We teased each other a lot. She looked so cute when she got mad and one day, I couldn’t handle her cuteness, so I just kissed her to shut her up and that’s basically it. I never loved anyone else since that day.”

You smiled, too. You remembered that day so well. You always had a crush on Jaehyun since the first day you met. Who wouldn’t? You were so shy at first but after he started teasing you, you teased him, too. The way you two looked at each other every time while teasing each other, it was like you were waiting for him to kiss you and when he did, you knew that he was the one. The one you’d spend the rest of your life with. The love of your life.

“That’s a cute story.”, Dr. Hwang smiled. “So please tell me now why you are here.”

It was too hard for you to say it out loud. You waited for Jaehyun to talk about it and he did. He knew it wasn’t easy to talk about it.

“We are here because I... because I cheated on my wife for three months.”, he looked down to his lap.

Dr. Hwang was writing down something as she listened to Jaehyun.

“Okay, please tell me more about it. How and why did you decided to come here? How did it start, and why did you stop?”

“Uhm, my wife found out because I- I said the other, person’s name, while we were... together...”, Jaehyun was so embarrassed. “It started in April, I think, with, uhm, with someone from work. I did it because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for her. (Y/n) is perfect in everything and I am just... me. I felt so little and useless and it is pathetic but I... I needed someone to tell me that I was good enough and... I couldn’t think straight and ended up with the... other person. After the first time I didn’t know what to do. I was too scared to tell (Y/n) and too dumb to stop it. It was our daughter’s birthday when I realized, that I was doing a big mistake and that I was destroying the perfect life I had. And then I broke it off , because I knew that I was hurting my wife, even though she didn’t know it back then. I was disgusted in myself and stopped as soon as I could. I know that nothing justifies my behavior but... I just wanted someone to tell me that I was... good...”

You didn’t know how to feel after he said all of that. Were you hurt because he looked for someone who was there for him? Were you hurt because you weren’t that person? Was everything you fault?

“Thank you, Mr. Jung. Mrs. Jung please tell me how you felt when you found out.”

That was hard to answer. “Well, I... I felt numb. I didn’t feel anything at first. After I found out, I left for a week. When I was alone I... I realized everything and I only felt pain... After I came back, I was numb again... but everything boiled up in me and I was furious.”

“Okay, thank you. So, I can tell, that you are going through a rough time. Both of you. What do you except to happen, now that you are here?”, she asked.

“I want my wife to be happy again. I need her to forgive me for everything I’ve ever done because I love her. I want to save our marriage.”

Mrs. Hwang nodded and looked back at you. “I want to save our marriage, too.”

And that was your first session. You looked out of the window as Jaehyun drove home.

“What do you think of her?”, Jaehyun asked after a while.

“She seemed nice. And you?”

“Yeah. She really seemed nice; I hope she’ll help us.”

After you arrived home it was timer for dinner. Luckily, Johnny watched your kids. He really is the best, you thought.

“Thank you for everything, Johnny. I’m so sorry to drag you into this mess.”, you were cooking dinner with Johnny next to you as Jaehyun played with the kids.

“I told you guys; I’ll always be there for you. Whatever happens between you two, I’m here for you two. And you know that I love the kids and of course they love me, I mean, Uncle Johnny is way cooler than Uncle Mark.”, he laughed and after a long time, you laughed, too.

Johnny stayed for dinner; it was less awkward. He was talking to Jaehyun and to the kids the whole time. You were playing with your food, slowly eating, because again, you weren’t hungry. Jaehyun watched you from time to time.

“Mommy??”, you were so deep in thoughts that you didn’t even hear Minah talking to you.

“Yes honey?”

“Mommy can Uncle Johnny sleep here tonight? Please Mommy!”, Minah said excitingly.

“But honey-”

“Mommy please?”, Jaemin asked you now. He was careful when he talked to you since you went to the hospital. The next day he saw you at home he cried again and jumped up, he wanted you to lift him up and you did.

“Mommy!”, he cried into your shoulder. “I thought I hurt you because I screamed at you... did you go to the hospital because of me Mommy?”, he cried.

“Oh my god, baby no! No of course not, I love you baby why would you think that.”, you cried, too.

Minah was in Johnny’s arms and started crying, too. You promised yourself that you’d never scare your kids like this ever again. After that Jaemin was talking to you as if you were fragile and could break any moment, which was the case.

“I’m sorry Mommy.”, Jaemin held you and never wanted to let go.

“(Y/n)?”, Jaehyun called for you now.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Uhm, I don’t know... Johnny?”, you looked at him. “I don’t care actually, It’s up to you guys.”

“It’s fine for me.”, Jaehyun didn’t mind.

“Yes! Thank you! Come on Uncle Johnny let’s watch Toy story!”, Minah jumped in her seat and Jaemin smiled brightly.

You on the other side weren’t that happy. For the past weeks you slept on the couch, you didn’t even think of sleeping in your bed with Jaehyun. But If Johnny stays, he needs a place to sleep.

Your kids were sleeping already and Jaehyun was talking to Johnny in the living room. You placed a blanket and a pillow on the couch and asked him if that was alright for him.

“Yeah don’t worry about me. Thanks.”

“Okay, uhm. I’m going to bed, good night.”

After a long time, you’d sleep in your bedroom again. You were nervous. After changing your clothes and brushing your teeth, you got under the blankets. It felt strange to be in this bed. You were at the edge, one push you’d fall, but this is also Jaehyun’s bed and you were scared to be too close.

It’s been a couple minutes since you were in bed and were laying on your back, eyes open.

Jaehyun came in and slowly closed the door. None of you talked and as he went to the bathroom, it felt like you could breathe again.

Jaehyun changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, and came back.

“(Y/n)?”, he asked.

“Yes?”, you looked at each other now. “C-Can I sleep here? I can also sleep on the floor If you want me to. Or I can sleep with Joh- okay no, just the floor.”

You wanted to laugh when he mentioned sleeping with Johnny, but he looked just like a lost puppy. “Yes, you can sleep here. It’s also your bed after all.”

He nodded and slowly got under the blankets next to you. It felt like years, being with him in the same bed. Jaehyun was also laying on his back, looking up. He tried to give you as much space as you needed but he wanted to touch you, he wanted to hold your hand and kiss you. Jaehyun wanted to breathe in your smell, the scent of vanilla he loved so much. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that he loves you. But he couldn’t.

He turned to the side to look at you. You felt his gaze on you and turned your face to him. The moon shined brightly tonight and was your only source of light.

Slowly, his hand got closer to your cheek, he was about to stroke your cheek but as you closed your eyes, he just couldn’t. He didn’t deserve to touch you with his dirty hands.

You thought he’d place his hand on your cheek but as you opened your eyes, you saw the struggle in his.

“I’m sorry.”, he pulled his hand back.

“Good night, Jaehyun.”, you said as you turned around, your back now facing him.

“Good night.”

Jaehyun was standing in front of you but it seemed like he didn’t see you or hear you. No matter how loud you screamed, Jaehyun never reacted.

“Jaehyun!”, you screamed again. There was a woman standing next to Jaehyun now, you couldn’t see her face. “Jaehyun!”, you screamed again. Jaehyun pulled the unknown woman closer to him and then he hugged her. “What the- Jaehyun? Can’t you see me? Please, Jaehyun?!”

You couldn’t move no matter how hard you tried, nothing worked. “I missed you so much, baby.”, Jaehyun said to the woman. “No Jaehyun! Please don’t! I’m here! I’m right here!”

The woman’s face was blurry, you couldn’t tell who it was. Jaehyun’s hand pulled her by her head and kissed her. He was kissing the woman right in front of your eyes and there was nothing you could do. “Jaehyun! Don’t do this to me please don’t. Please don’t kiss her!”, you were crying so hard that your sight got blurry.

“(Y/n)! Do you hear me?!”, you could hear Jaehyun’s voice, but it was impossible. He was kissing her. How could he talk to you while he was kissing the other woman?

“Wake up (Y/n)! Everything’s fine, baby. Open your eyes.”

Nothing is fine. Stop kissing her.

“It’s just a dream. Please wake up.”, he begged.

A dream? More like a nightmare.

Suddenly you opened your eyes and you were breathing heavily with sweat everywhere. Your heart hurt and you were scared. Was it just a dream? A nightmare?

“Look at me. It was just a dream.”, Jaehyun held you in his arms as he tried to calm you down.

You didn’t even notice how hard you were crying. You gripped his shirt with your hands and pulled him closer. Too scared to lose him if you let go.

“It’s okay baby. You are safe now. Everything is alright.”, he placed kisses on your hair as he held you. You were slowly able to breathe in a normal rhythm, but you didn’t let him go.

“It... It was so real. J-Jaehyun it felt so real...”, you whispered.

Little did you know that you were talking in your sleep. Jaehyun heard you crying out loud and he knew exactly what happened in your dream.

“I know baby, but it was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real, please stop crying.”

You let him go as you thought about your dream. It wasn’t just a dream. It happened. Jaehyun did that to you. He did kiss another woman.

“L-Let me go...”, you whispered.

“Are you feeling better now?”, he asked as he slowly let you go.

You shook your head. “Is there anything I can do for you?”, he asked now.

“N-No. Nothing I... I just need- I don’t know what I need.”

You really didn’t know what you need. Everything was happening so fast but at the same time so slow.

“I’m going to take a shower.”, you got up and left him alone in your bed. Jaehyun let out a sigh as he tried to get back to sleep.

But that night, neither of you got any sleep.

One week past and today was your second couple therapy session.

“Is there anything you want to know, Mrs. Jung? Mr. Jung promised to answer all of your questions.”

He really did. Jaehyun promised to tell you everything you wanted to know.

“Well, there are some questions I have...”

Jaehyun looked at you but you avoided eye contact.

“Go for it, Mrs. Jung. Just ask.”

You played with your fingers as you tried to ask the questions that bothered you for so long now. “My first question is... uhm... You said it was someone from work... do you, still... like... see her?”, your heart was beating hardly against your chest.

“I- uhm, yes. She’s there when I go to work...”, he was also playing with his fingers now, too scared to see your reaction.

“Okay... d-do you talk to her?”

“No. Not like before. I mean... just a little at our meetings, but like we are all talking, I’m not directly talking to her.”, he tried to explain that he really isn’t talking casually to her. Only when it is totally necessary.

“And you stopped... doing it with her, right?”, you asked even though Jaehyun told you many times that it was long over.

“Yes.”

“I have another question.”

Jaehyun’s eyes were on you again.

“Did you... When you said that you... uhm... chose me. Did you mean it? No, I mean... why? No no... god this is so stupid... Just tell me why you said that and If you were really about to... choose her...”, Jaehyun’s words that night really hurt you. Choosing your wife over your affair? Did Jaehyun really think about that back then?

You didn’t even notice the tears falling.

“I didn’t mean it like that- I... It was always you. I chose to love you many years ago and I still do and forever will love only you. I don’t know why I said that... I guess I tried to tell you that I was also hurt all the time and... It’s just that I thought... think... that I’m worthless. You are perfect. Literally perfect. And I thought you deserve better, you still do, but I love you. I always thought that you’d be happier... without me. I thought it would be better If we”, he let out a sigh, “broke everything off and the best way to this was to... hurt you. I know it’s stupid and If I could I’d go back in time and beat the shit -sorry- out of me.”, he tried to explain that it wasn’t choosing between you and her but between your life without him and your life with him.

Jaehyun was deep in thoughts as he talked, he tried to explain his stupid situation to you as good as he could, so that you could understand him, even a little.

You tried to go through everything in your head, but it was too much. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now,” you left Jaehyun and Dr Hwang as you tried to calm down. You got inside of your car and tried to breathe. You closed your eyes shut, trying to delete the images in your head. The images of Jaehyun with another woman. It didn’t stop. Whatever you thought of, you ended up with the same image in your mind.

You didn’t even notice that Jaehyun was sitting next to you. Tears also falling down his cheeks. You felt so helpless. You felt like there was nothing you could do to erase the pain.

“(Y/n), please look at me. Please. I’m trying so hard, I’m so sorry.”, Jaehyun cupped your cheeks. He was looking into your eyes and he wiped off your tears. “I’ll do anything for you. As long as you stop crying. I promise you the pain will stop.”

“Do you really think that? Do you really think that it’ll stop? Do you really think that I’ll be able to forgive you and we’ll be happy again?”, you searched for answers in his eyes.

“I know it. I know that we’ll be happy again. That you’ll be happy again. You are the strongest woman I know, and I will do anything in my hand to make you smile again.”

“I hate to be like that but… C-Can you stop working there? I... I don’t want you to be close to her.”, in the deepest of your mind you told yourself that it didn’t matter where he worked. He could do it again. Even if he changed his workplace, how could you be sure that it won’t happen again?

You tried to ignore the voice inside your head.

“If it’s what you want, of course. I told you I’d do anything for you.”

Silence. There was another question in your head, but you feared the answer.

“Jaehyun?”, you asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you still have her number? Or like… anything that involves her on your phone?”, you looked out of the window, you tried to focus so that you wouldn’t cry.

“No, I promise you. There’s nothing that involves her.”

“Okay.”, you sighed. You weren’t sure If you could believe him but at this point it didn’t even matter.

It’s been 8 months since the worst day in your life.

It was a very difficult journey until today. It was hard for you, after the first night you slept in your own bed, you stopped sleeping in the living room. Most of the times you were haunted by nightmares but day after day they became less. You and Jaehyun were close, yet so far from each other. In front of your kids you acted like always, like the happy couple with no failures, but when you were alone, you put a big distance between you two. You never let him touch you and he never tried, knowing how hard it was for you. In those 8 months, you never even kissed. But it was alright, Jaehyun would walk through fire for you.

The furthest of skin ship that happened was a couple months ago when you hugged him. You just hugged him out of nowhere and you didn’t let go for a whole hour. Jaehyun was too scared to put his hands around you but you asked him to.

“Please just hug me back. I need this right now.”

And he slowly hugged you back. Pulling you closer than you already were and softly caressing your hair.

You were still going to couple therapy together. It helped you so much, you wouldn’t know what would’ve happened If you were all alone. Johnny helped you also so much, taking care of the kids and even Jaehyun.

Jaehyun still hates himself. He acted like you were fragile, always trying to make you happy, never crossing any line you set. He came straight home after work and spend all his time with you and your kids. Jaehyun cooks for you to surprise you and he buys a different bouquet of flowers every Sunday for you.

Today, on your son’s sixth birthday, you invited your family and friends to celebrate your baby’s birthday. You never told anyone, except Johnny of course, what happened between you and Jaehyun. You were scared that your dad would rip Jaehyun’s head of and you didn’t want Jaehyun’s parents to know that his son did something as disgusting as that. It was your marriage and it was something between you and Jaehyun, but still, he couldn’t look his and your parents in the eyes. After months, he couldn’t even look you properly in the eyes.

After your son opened his toys, you couldn’t find Jaehyun. You opened your bedroom door and you could hear him crying. He was in the bathroom, sitting on the floor and he covered his face with his hands and just cried.

“Jaehyun?”, you closed the door and kneeled. “Jaehyun why are you crying? Hey, stop crying, Jaemin’s just six… he’s still your little-”

“I-I’m not crying because he’s growing up so fast, well, that’s also a reason but... It’s just…”, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

You took his hands into your hands and looked at him. His eyes were blood shot red and the tears were falling down, and it seemed like they wouldn’t stop anytime.

“Hey, it’s alright. Look at me- “

“I can’t. I can’t look at you or at our family- I can’t even look at my own children. I just can’t. I don’t deserve any of you. I can’t look at your parents, knowing how much I hurt their daughter. I can’t look at my parents, knowing how disappointed they’d be. I can’t look at you, knowing that I am the reason for the pain in your heart, the tears in your eyes and the nightmares when you sleep. What kind of father am I? I always wanted to be a role model for my son, but now I hope that he never becomes like me.”

You were also crying now, you forgot about your family in the living room and you just cried with Jaehyun in the bathroom. “Jaehyun you are a great father, stop thinking like that. We’ll go through this together, don’t you remember? You promised me that.”

“I know but… what If I’m not good enough? What If I can’t make you happy again? What If- “, before Jaehyun could finish his sentence, you placed your lips on his. It was a slow kiss, you could taste the tears while you kissed him and he could, too. Both of your eyes closed, hand in hand.

Jaehyun was scared to go too far, but you sat on his lap and pulled him closer to you. After you kissed him, even though none of you wanted to stop, you placed your head in the crook of his neck and hugged him.

“I love you so much.”, he said as he hugged you back.

You couldn’t say it. He knew that you couldn’t, and it was alright. Jaehyun would give you all the time in the world. You wanted to tell him, that you loved him so much, but it was hard. But both of you knew, that you loved him.

It was your wedding anniversary one month later, and Jaehyun asked you out. This would be your first date after a whole year. You spent the last anniversary at home with your kids, at that time Jaehyun was rarely at home.

But two days ago, he bought so many roses and decorated your bedroom and asked you out. Jaehyun already asked Johnny to watch your kids and he happily agreed to do so, now it was just up to you. Were you ready to go on a date with Jaehyun?

Yes, you were.

Jaehyun told you to be ready at 7, he was still at work and told you to get ready. You stood in front of your closet, not sure what to wear. “He likes red. Maybe I should wear this- “, you were interrupted by the kids and Johnny.

“Mommy!! Can we come in?”, Jaemin asked.

“Yes, what’s wrong?”, you asked them as they entered your bedroom.

“This is for you.”, Jaemin and Minah handed you a package. “What’s this?”, you asked confused. “Just open it.”, Johnny smiled brightly.

And so, you did. There was a beautiful black dress inside the package. “Daddy told us to give you that!”, Minah said happily.

The dress was beautiful, really beautiful and it looked expensive. How could you were something so expensive, what If you drop anything on it while you eat?

“Mommy come on change we want to see it!!”, Jaemin jumped around.

“Okay okay, now get out.”, you smiled.

After you changed, you looked at the mirror and your jaw dropped. It’s been a long time since you wore something like this. It was a long black dress with thin straps, skintight, with a cut on the left side of your leg. You let your hair open and curled the tips a little. You were so excited; you almost forgot the most important thing.

Your wedding ring.

After you took it off, you only wore it when your family was around. But today you decided to wear it and you wouldn’t take it off again.

“How do I look?”, you asked after you left your room.

“Not better than me, that’s for sure.”, Johnny joked.

“Mommy is a princess!!”, Minah’s eyes shined just like you did.

“You are also a princess, my pretty girl.”, you placed a kiss on her head.

“When I grow up, I am going to marry you mommy.”, Jaemin said.

“Oh my god, can you get any cuter?”, you were about to tear up but the doorbell rang. You opened the door and you saw Jaehyun smiling brightly at you with another bouquet of roses in his hands. He was wearing a suit, and lord, Jaehyun in a suit was your weak point.

“Holy shit. “, he started.

“Jaehyun! Language!”, you hoped that your kids didn’t hear that.

“I’m sorry it’s just. Holy shit.”, he said again.

“I think it’s time to go.”, you waved at your kids and Johnny closed the door, Jaehyun was still in trance.

Jaehyun had a reservation at the restaurant you first went to on your first date

“It’s been so long since we came here, but nothing changed.”, you said, and he agreed with a hum. “God you are so beautiful.”, that was the nth time he told you how beautiful you were.

“Jaehyun stop, don’t make me shy.”

“But you are cute.”, he admired you.

The waiter filled your glasses with wine and as you put your hand around it, Jaehyun noticed the ring.

“You are wearing it?”, he smiled at you.

“Yes, and I don’t want to take it off. Ever again.”, you looked at it with a smile on your face.

“I’m sorry but you have to.”, he said seriously.

“W-What? Why?”

He took out a little box of his Jackett and opened it. “I want to give you this.”, there was a ring inside of the box. “We can’t… restart our marriage and I can’t erase our memories, I can’t undo what happened, but I can promise you, that I’ll love you with every breathe I take and that I’ll give you the happiness you deserve. I’ll do anything as long as you are happy, and I’ll never hurt you again. I can’t imagine my life without you. You gave me two beautiful children and your heart. It’s more than I deserve but I promise you, I will show you how much I love you until my last breath. This ring is my promise to you. I don’t want you to look at your old ring and think about… the bad times. I want you to look at this ring and feel happiness and love.”, Jaehyun was holding your hand and looked at you. For so many months, he couldn’t even talk to you, and now he was looking you straight into the eyes as he talked.

“Is that alright for you?”, he asked then.

You felt like crying again, but you didn’t want to, so you didn’t talk. You nodded your head and smiled at him.

He took off your old ring and replaced it with the new one.

You looked at it with the biggest smile on your face.

Of course, your heart didn’t heal fully, but day by day, the pieces of your broken heart got back together.

“I love you.”, he meant it. Jaehyun really meant it every time he told you he loved you. After being so close to losing you, it felt like his love for you grew and is still growing.

“I love you.”, after a whole year, you finally said it and it felt good. You were happy right now, it felt so good to say it back.

Life isn’t easy, everybody knows that. You could cry all day long and suffer in pain or you could do something to be happy again.

People tend to forget that time is the key. The process of healing takes time and that’s good.

Time heals all our wounds. Sometimes it takes longer but, in the end, you’ll be happy again.

2K notes · View notes

demwhore · 4 years

Text

summer (l.ty)

pairing┃boxer! lee taeyong and college student! OC ft. Doyoung, Mark, Johnny and Taeil + mention of Bang Chan and Namjoon genre | fluff, slight angst | boxer! au warnings | slow-burn, language, mention of ass ( i know taeyong has none but alright), lots of banter, physical injuries, mention of blood, violence, mention of steroid usage, making out in the boxing gym, too much plot but aight, smut (for those uncomfortable, the smut is placed at the very end; the note indicates mature content, read at your own risk ) subtle sub!-dom! themes, unprotected sex, fingering, eating out, penetration, biting, marking, creampie, edging it’s not really that dirty but it’s just passionate lovemaking word count | 25k

synopsis |

“If two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their way back.”

Or in which, you are stranded in your university due to summer classes and you had a little reunion with your ex that you last saw two years ago.

a/n | this is part of @neo-cult-ure‘s summer collab! taglist | @cinanamon @jaesmintea @jungcity @seongghwaa @mjlkau @neoyoungho for helping me with proofreading. tags | @ethaeriyeol @yuta-nakitamoto @suhweo @neocity-sarai @jaeminsmainbitch @the32ndbeat @bumblebeenct @cloudynakamoto @solecize @moonlss @ceruleanskies @tzuqui @jungjeffr3y @neo-shitty @o-schist

muse | and this is based on the song summer by calvin harris, long flight by taeyong, call out my name, earned it by The Weeknd, pillowtalk by zayn, love me harder by ariana grande. there are literary quotes from The Notebook by nicholas sparks and The Great Gatsby by fitzgerald.

“The cows didn’t deserve this sight. You look like a moving potato sack.”

That one familiar voice, laced with precise mirthful nuance immediately stops you from your attempted zumba dances. Your head automatically snaps towards the door where he is currently leaning at. Even without looking, you could see the tugging of his lips that belonged to your one and only grumpy roommate and unfortunately best friend, Doyoung.

This is one of your routines, dancing carelessly in front of your open windows, to entertain the cows from the farm your dormitory is located at. They make such a great audience though, unlike the people from university.

People who? You don’t know her.

You lean over the table to shut down the speaker that blasts electronic music.

The morbid greetings are never new to you anymore. In fact these greeting exchanges are normal, and an inside joke no one will understand but you and him.

Doyoung looks like he recently woke up from his grave. With a sullen face and eye bags that are too dark, it stands out amongst his pallorness. Being a pol-sci student surely makes the stunning Kim Doyoung a disaster.

He enters your room with coffee in hand and plops himself comfortably on the blue plush seats you two had managed to haul at the local thrift shop. This is Kim Doyoung with his disheveled morning look—his curly hair and baggy sweatpants but hail thee heavens, he still looks majestic and it’s unfair. He gulps a mouthful of his morning coffee. At this point you have made the conclusion that coffee is what kicks him in the morning, if not, daily.

You gawk at the tall boy before you, bracing yourself for his never ending list of snarky remarks —about you, your ridiculous pajamas, the cows which you don’t understand either, college, his debates, how emotional the girls are in his department and it pisses him off, how capitalism sucks, do soulmate exists? And if yes, it’s bullshit and what not. Nevertheless, you do understand his points since both of you share a deep seated bond and a like for misanthropy. Despite his ear-splitting and sometimes provocative rants, it had never failed to boost you. Albeit you hate early morning scolds, Kim Doyoung and his banters are an exception.

“Potato who? I am an exceptional dancer.” You grin while whipping your hair dramatically.

On cue, Doyoung’s eyes roll heavenwards. What a dramatic king. “How is that even possible?”

You shrug. “They moo-ed at me longer than their usual moo-s. Look!” You point at the brown cow staring back at you while nibbling grass.

Doyoung didn’t bother to peek at your window. Instead, he shakes his head in dismay while sipping again on his black coffee. “You need to seek help, you’re unbelievable.”

“Me and the cows just have a deep-seated relationship and they are far more supportive than your grumpy ass.”

Doyoung didn’t answer you. He shifts again in his seat, his long legs folding in an uncomfortable angle. Doyoung winces as he settles his mug on the table just adjacent from the plush seat. He gives you a concerned look, “Anyways, enough with the cows. How is your major going? You look dead.”

“So are you.”

“I’m stunning, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Bickering with him will be a waste of a time.

It's 8:30 am and truth be told, you are not ready to go to your university especially when the impending torment awaits for your arrival.

Your lips tug upward, an acrimonious smile painting your lips. If there’s something you want to talk about early in the morning, it would rather be about politics, rabbits, anything but your college department. The attempt in pulling an all-nighter yesterday night isn’t enough to lessen the never ending stack of paperwork your professors are demanding and talking about it would just fuel up your frustrations. “If the team won’t cooperate in the defense,” you sigh. “Summer.”

In an instant, Doyoung’s lips tugs into a shit-eating grin. Those smiles that hold such malice that shouts ‘you’re a worst case’. Being the sinister human being he is, he didn’t waste this opportunity to throw you his judgement. “For what I know college students should never be… negligent.” He drags out those words slowly like reciting to a child, making sure you do understand what the hell he is talking about and giving full emphasis on the last word that he said.

You immediately retort back, defensive. “I am! I mean… I am not!”

“I am not saying you are… but your groupmates.”

“They are…”

His feline eyes are as dark as his hair while he studies you. He’s feigning fake enthusiasm while raising his brows up cockily. “Yeah?”

You inwardly let out a whine. “Yeah. Now. Shut up Kim Doyoung.”

He chuckles. “What? I’m not saying anything!”

You huff. “After all this crap, I will seriously go out for a vacation,” you pause. “And I won’t tag you in, bitch!”

He rolls his eyes, “How despicable.”

“Seriously though, I don’t want to spend my time in university, it’ll kill the remaining sanity left in me.”

Overly confident, you want to smack the shit out of him. He shrugs. “I know. Good thing I’m an ace.”

You roll your eyes and throw your plushie towards his direction. But the devil incarnate has the deities on his side because the pillow didn’t budge nor hit him at all.

“Excuse me, mister right. Sorry to pop your bubble but remember? Your professor is still frustrated at the bull crap you pulled.” Your lips immediately tugging upwards upon the memory of him blabbing out incoherently to you like a child, intoxicated with alcohol while flunking classes. All of it because he’s, according to him, an ace.

“And what was that you were yelling at the corridors?” You try and recall the song he keeps on yelling in the top of his lungs while the people are shooting him dirty looks, “Young, dumb, young, young, dumb and bro-oh-ke…”

You wheeze while clutching your stomach. Good thing he got a nice voice, but still it was embarrassing. As if on cue, the stressed-out, disheveled Kim Doyoung wipes his face dramatically in humiliation. You’re both entertainers in your own ways, but he makes himself really stand out without him even trying.

If Kim Doyoung’s life is a movie, you’d literally spend your dollars to watch him over and over again.

“How’s your horse?” And you burst into fits of laughter.

A distressed groan escapes Doyoung’s lips upon the memory. “Can you please not?”

You shake your head no, still laughing upon the memory. He glares in your direction, his hawk-like eyes staring back at you with such vexation.

It’s a mistake for him to actually choose to drink rather than preparing for a major presentation that he messed up with big time. While drunk, he answered his professor’s inquiry with, ‘I don’t have a thing for voyeurism though, my horse is not down for it’. His professor is too infuriated at his answer and his laid back attitude, she gave him a big fat 60% mark as payback. What a damn ace, truly, ace of all clowns.

“I just hoped the case study could help me. I didn’t know that the case presentation was worth 60% of my grade!”

“You should join a pageant sometime.”

“Fuck, no.”

“Well, you’re famous as well as your answer. Imagine the school paper desperate just to have your comment published?” You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

His suggestive answer spreads out in the university like wildfire. If you could remember the quote, “Attention Ladies! Doyoung is quite reserved as his ‘horse’ is quite shy”, no public canoodling!

Doyoung is so furious when he sees the whole article, that he wants to sue the journalism club for defamation. But they immediately bribe him with a percentage, because the profits were surprisingly high because he’s featured in. Kim Doyoung is quite popular unlike you. He is a Pol-Sci student, and that made him proactive about social issues that you sometimes wanted to shut him out. He never stops talking about capitalism. And not to mention his fanbase— he has the looks, brain even if he barely uses it, and part of a famous sorority house. High number of admirers are really expected.

He makes a face. That’s what you get when you enter one of your classes intoxicated with gin and bullshit. Yolo, Kim Doyoung.

“Stop laughing,” he scowls.

Doyoung clears his throat and diverts the subject, “Have you tallied the responses?”

“Oh, shit.” You shift yourself in your bed. A ballpen strikes your ass and a ruler snaps in half the moment you tried to move again in your spot.

You wince. “I told Regina about it, and guess what?”

“Spill.”

“She fucking forgot about the methodology. I’m going insane!”

You stand up and grab the print-outs of your unfinished research paper. Doyoung brings the cup to his lips while watching you scurry back and forth in your room. You leave your room, only to return once again to gape at your best friend. The lack of sleep is taking a toll on you early in the morning, and all you want to do is to wrap yourself in your fuzzy blankets and binge watching Netflix. After all, it’s exciting to watch with the academic deadlines chasing after every episode you attempt to watch.

Your best friend’s lips instantly curl upward and you register that the words he’ll be spatting out will slap the shit out of you “You still have to interpret the results, though.”

“Bloody hell.” You groan loudly.

He grins smugly. “I really hope you won’t bawl your eyes out, but you still have a big nut to crack open.”

You were about to retort back but something had hit you. Your face painting an aghast expression, you cussed again, “Oh shit, the math homework?”

“Bingo.” His smirk widens at your stressed out face. “And the deadline is today.”

Why do you still have maths in your course? It’s ridiculous.

Despite him being annoying at all times, you are still happy that Doyoung is at your side. He is a blessing in disguise. He somewhat remembers all the things you have mentioned to him like homeworks and other things and makes fun of you because you‘re such a fucking goner. Having the habit of doing something at the drop of a hat then to procrastinate and cram it all out like a madwoman.

You manage to get through this bad habit of yours when your ex helped you back in the day. But now that he’s gone, all your mannerisms are flooding in like crazy.

You heave a long sigh of frustration. “Why, why, the hell did I choose to watch Riverdale instead of doing my maths?”

You stare at his dark orbs dancing with pure amusement.

He shrugs at your outbursts. “I have been telling you. You’re too distracted.”

You, per contra, immediately run to your bed and grab the nearest paper lying on the end with a bold ‘biochemistry’ printed on the topmost part of the paper. You toss the paper to Doyoung’s direction and continued on doing the searching operation of your long-lost math homework.

Doyoung clicks his tongue, finding the scowl on your face entertaining. “I just saw that paper! Now I can’t see it!”

You stomp your feet in annoyance.

Doyoung rolls his eyes. He knows exactly where this will go. He counts.

Three. Two. One.

You wail. “Kim Doyoung! I cannot find it!”

“You should learn to search using your fucking eyes! Jesus Christ, you’re unbelievable,” he sighs, running his lithe hands through his raven locks. From the sound of his sigh, you know he’s tired of dealing with your constant bullshit.

“You have your eyes for a reason. For searching! Don’t use your mouth, Y/N,” he paused. Your homework is on the table.” Then he pointed at the coffee table.

“You’re lucky I’m being nice here. I’d rather hide that paper from you and watch you fail because you just lost a fucking piece of paper.”

You grimace, “You’re one hell of --”

You see how Doyoung’s face morphed in a whole 180 turn before the blink of your eye. From being calm to sinister. He mumbles, his tone so deep and malign. But you can hear him, “If you continue on. I will never, ever, help you with your essays. Carry on your GPA.”

What a hypocritical bitch.

Doyoung exactly knows how and where to push your buttons.

A whirlpool of emotions washes over you, and panic is the main cherry on top. It’s been an unspoken rule among both of you, that if ever who’s at rock bottom, the other half shall lift the rock no matter how heavy it is. And unfortunately, you're the rock and Doyoung has been helping you all through this time to somehow pass and manage your assignments. He’s been complaining how he is suffering from back pain due to carrying you all over the place.

You huff, clenching your fist to control the forming irritation in your gut, “For the sake of my peace, I wanna punch you. But yes, thank you, bitch.”

He mimics you, “Welcome bitch.”

Approaching his seat, you plop yourself comfortably on the floor. “Now how do I do this?”

Doyoung tilts his head to the side to cast a greater view of your paper and his face immediately scrunches. “Mean and deviation? I have taught you how to get them, right?”

You groan out. “I forgot.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Of course you forgot about it,” he curls his lips to a frown. “But remembering handsome boys, you ain’t slick… wait… what’s my name again?”

“Gross.”

He snatches the paper from your hold with a scowl and begins scribbling the answers. He mumbles loud enough for you to hear, “You weren’t like this when he was here. You’re too distracted.”

You frown upon the mention of your ex. Doyoung is right, you suck up big time when your ex left you to pursue his career.

Doyoung hands the paper back to you. Glancing at your homework, he had answered the first two numbers and the rest were blank. Your mouth presses into a thin line while attempting to answer the rest, following the solutions and steps of Doyoung from above.

He lifts the mug to his lips and gulps the remaining coffee. A vibration from his pocket catches his attention. Doyoung fishes for his mobile phone and his eyes almost bulge out upon the text he just received. The screen illuminates his slender face.

[from TY Track] [9:15] I’m coming home from Busan. See you at your university. How’s Alpha chi Omega? I missed them as well.

Glancing from your peripheral vision; you know he must’ve received some dirty text again with the way his eyes bulge out of his sockets and a faint blush of pink that has been kissing his cheeks. You were not sure from whom though but it could be from the lists of girls in your mind that you’ve once texted out to ‘fuck off’ as per Kim Doyoung.

It happens daily and you are somewhat forced to answer them back because he’s been begging you to get rid of them. His ways of swatting the girls are really insurmountable. There is this time you thought he’s sending in dick pic (you almost threw a victory dance) but in reality he was just sending a picture of his beautiful middle finger followed by blocking or sometimes a ‘get lost, I don’t like you’.

You grin at the thought of Doyoung dirty texting but it’s borderline impossible. The amount of suitors is surprisingly high for a grumpy Kim Doyoung but he dismisses them all. You don’t know why he doesn’t open up opportunities for commitment, but it isn’t your business to mess with. After all, you couldn't blame them, his whole frat boy demeanor is really a lovely sight to look at.

His mouth opens then closes followed by his eyes widening like he couldn’t believe the sight at his screen. You let out an airy chuckle while computing for the mean. “You got yourself a fubu? Shall we call in Alpha chi Omega and celebrate?”

His brows automatically furrow while hiding his phone away from your sight, in defense. Your conclusions forming like endless swirls in your mind at the sight of him being so, aloof. You shoot out a grin.

“What the fuck? No!”

Your brows automatically shoot upward and you raise your hands still grinning widely. “Woah, chill, lover boy.”

Never in Doyoung’s life he plays cupid, because he thinks love is ridiculous. But he might as well play one for the sake of two broken hearts still yearning for each other. Doyoung knows he’s still not over you and you are still thinking about him even if you don’t admit.

[doie] [9:26] See you hyung. I will show you around.

Two months and two weeks prior to Taeyong’s homecoming.

Ragged breaths resonate around the boxing circle. The crowd is expectant, holding in their breath while watching the neck to neck fight.

Chan is lying on the floor, his chest rising heavily with every breath he takes. His coach is yelling profanities from the farthest corner, urging him to get his ass up and fight. He hears the muffled rambunctious screaming of the crowd and the loud EDM music blaring inside the gymnasium followed by the irritating ringing in his ears.

With Taeyong’s strike on his right ear, his balance fucks up and he can’t bring himself on his feet. Chan’s eyesight is getting worse, seeing occasional stars here and there. If it wasn’t for the gym’s blinding spotlight and camera flashes, he would really think that he got blind. Despite the large ring they are currently in, the atmosphere feels heavy, thick, and choking. The place stinks of cigarettes, sweat and blood. The floors were slightly wet with their perspiration. There’s overall tension, but violence is above it all.

Taeyong wipes the blood that spluttered from his mouth from Chan’s jab. He runs towards the corner where his team is at. Taeil immediately scrambles to his feet to get inside the ring to wipe off his sweat. Taeyong feels extreme exhaustion while staring back at Taeil under hooded eyes. He is running a tongue over his mouthpiece and rests his head on the ring’s metal post.

The referee enters the ring with a mic in hand then approaches the younger boxer. The referee pounds his fist onto the white mat, yelling numbers, “One!”

A pause. Then there is another pound. This time with much more force than the previous pound. “Two!”

Chan’s eyes flicker open at the countdown. His bruised eyes widening at the sound of his coach’s constant fire of profanities. Get up Bang Chan! Get the hell up! And so he did. Before the referee could shout the last number, three, Chan slightly jerks his shoulder, lifting his gloved hands then he tilts his torso to his right, raising up to his toes completely. Chan wobbles slightly while setting his posture up in full defense mode.

The referee makes a dash, excluding himself from the ring. Taeyong walks towards the center, his stance is set with his gloved hand raised up for defense. Chan’s appearance is rough. With blood covering most of his torso, there are occasional hues of yellow, purple and blue lingering on the younger boxer’s cheeks and eyes, one of his eyebrows split open blood pooling down mixing with his sweat, his plump lips is swollen and busted as if he had been stung by a bee.

Taeyong approaches the opponent carefully. Defense still high and not breaking eye contact. He knows how jumbled Chan is. Continuing on pushing himself further will just cause him harm— both mentally and physically. Due to Chan’s swollen right eye he can’t see Taeyong clearly. Throwing out jabs clumsily.

After contemplating for a few, Chan throws a counterpunch but Taeyong is quick enough to throw a combination that interrupts the younger mid-way. Chan musters his remaining strength to launch out a strike but Taeyong immediately dodges and springs forward to throw a blow on his jaw.

Chan can see spirals swimming in his vision that made him pause. With a disarranged mind, all he could do was to clinch on his opponent’s shoulder, breathing hard, bodies colliding with each other. The referee immediately steps in, breaking them apart. The crowd roars with both enthusiasm and dismay.

Taeyong made the final move, shooting his last blow on Chan’s stomach that made the young boxer fall with a loud thud. The crowd erupts with extreme exhilaration.

The emcee’s voice booms through the gymnasium’s speakers.

“Ladies and Gentlemen after twelve rounds of action we go to the scorecards. We have a unanimous decision in favor of the winner none other than boxing’s pride of Seoul, Lee Taeyong! The one and only, current WBA welterweight champion of the world! Lee ‘Kingpin’ Taeyong!”

Taeyong approaches Chan’s figure at the other side of the ring and gives him his warmest regards. Taeyong watches the intimate moment shared between the Aussie and his significant other. As sweet folks say, loving kisses can wipe out exhaustion. Touché.

Taeyong is sure that the younger boxer has potential and could make his boxing career stretch far with an obtained score of 116. Taeyong is in Chan’s situation once, losing then going home with a fucked up face. Everything is consuming— especially in boxing. Fatigue, face, dignity— but it is all about the commitment. It took Taeyong several eyebrow cuts just to achieve his current position. Before he was well-known as the Kingpin, he was once a loser. With high pressure, diamonds are formed.

Victory is so sweet. Yet the Kingpin still feels empty. He misses those moments when he was still a nobody; someone will run inside the gym just to pepper him kisses and him dodging cause he’s all sweaty. Or the steamy make out sessions usually in his Mustang after every class. The late night sex in his room. He wants to turn back time, he missed experiencing it all, everything. It hurts for him to admit but he missed someone that is dear to him. Someone that is his life. Those memories cease the moment he decided to choose this career, boxing. He thought, was it worth it? Is selecting boxing really did give him the utmost happiness? Was it worth exchanging you for this career? After his several attempts of questioning himself, Taeyong couldn’t still answer whether all of this makes him happy or it’s just complete bullshit.

His team jumps in the ring full of excitement. Taeil is showing him an ear to ear grin while wiping off his face. Taeyong winces as Taeil is too overwhelmed, vigorously wiping over his cuts. “Hyung, I’m not a car, stop wiping my face like a wiper.”

Taeil giggles. “Oh. Sorry.”

His manager approaches him, sliding the heavyweight gold belt over his shoulder. The manager leans over to whisper a strong ‘congratulations’. Taeyong nods back, unable to contain his glee. He grins at the crowd and pumps his fist in the air. The crowd are screaming for his name and his victory.

All hail, Kingpin.

“Taeyong.”

Taeyong’s eyes flicker shut. It’s only been five minutes since Taeyong submerged in the cylinder shaped chamber full of ice, but for him it feels like forever. The water stings and the cold is there, but it eats away the soreness nevertheless. Taeyong grits his teeth, fucking five minutes feels like eternity. He tries to divert his attention to anything but the stopwatch clipped on the cylinder’s edge.

A voice calls him again. Taeil. “Taeyong.”

The boxer breathes. “Yes. Hold on.”

The timer beeps. Taeil approaches the cylinder bath to snatch the beeping device.

Taeyong rises to his full height with the water swaying after him and the ice floating around the bath. Taeyong grips the edge and jumps out.

Taeil approaches him with a towel in hand. The boxer grabs the fluffy fabric and wraps it around his bare torso still shivering from the aftermath of his post-match routine. The soreness from the fight subdues. Taeyong holds the fabric to his head to towel dry his silver locks.

Taeil begins, “There’s something the manager will tell you.”

Taeyong shoots out a look towards him, his face immediately contorting into confusion. “About what?”

Taeil shrugs. He plops down to the bench and drops the athletic bag. The steel bench creaks as he rummages through the bag and throws a pair of boxers, sweatpants and a black tank top towards Taeyong.

The boxer grunts, snatching the clothes mid-air with his right hand. “Geez. You could’ve handed it to me, hyung.”

Taeil faces him and settles the bag. A tired sigh escapes his lips. “I’m not in favor of what he’s gonna say to you.”

Taeyong’s brow furrows. “Why? Wait, what is it about?”

Taeil leans back on the wall and closes his eyes for a moment. “You’re familiar with the gung-ho McGregor aren’t you?”

Taeyong’s eyes narrow as he tries to recall the familiar name. Damn, Chan’s smack must’ve shaken his brain. “The suspended boxer?”

Taeil nods and crosses his arms. “He’s actually back and wants to hold a match with you.”

Taeyong fidgets on his spot awkwardly. Water droplets drip down his chest. It’s fucking cold. For heaven’s sake he’s just in his black boxers.

“Can I change first?”

Taeil shakes his head and holds a finger to shut him out. “This is an important matter, kid.”

Taeyong scowls. “It’s fucking cold!”

He stops bickering back upon the sight of Taeil’s glare. Taeyong sighs, “We rejected them, right?”

“Yes. But backstage, Alexis’s manager opened up the matter to the manager again.”

Taeyong’s brows knot. “I just got into a fight. Can you talk it out with the manager?”

Taeil grimaces. “You know how my words don’t have an effect on him.”

Taeil continues on, “Besides, you are never the alibi type. If there’s a fight, you fight. That is how they know you. So it won’t work, unless you got pregnant? But that’s borderline fucking impossible.”

Taeyong didn’t argue back since Taeil has a point. Alibis are not really favorable especially in the world of boxing, unless you’re at death's door.

Taeil continues. “McGregor’s team promised a percentage if you let him win.”

“What the fuck?” Absolutely never.

A knock disrupts the two. Taeil straightens himself while Taeyong readjusts the towel resting on his hair.

Manager Oh enters the room. The two male cannot read the gloomy look on the manager’s face as the atmosphere is quite tense.

The manager gulps and begins to speak. “I reckon Taeil has told you about the matter,” the manager pauses. “We’ll accept the deal. The fight will be pushed through.”

Taeyong’s ears piques as he begins to feel annoyed. “Without consulting me? If it wasn’t for Taeil hyung, I wouldn’t know.”

Manager Oh breaths. “They promised to sponsor everything for your UBT.” He halts again, trying to select the right words to cajole the boxer. “That’s your goal, right?”

The Universal Boxing Tournament is something elite, big, and wild. It isn’t just Taeyong’s goal but every boxer. The payments in the matches are double the fee he usually receives. Although the chance of fighting in the big event is at Taeyong’s palm, it left him in a state of deep conflict. He’s done being the sparring partner— or a punching bag of someone else. He’d establish himself and the idea of stooping down just for the benefit of others greatly dismays him.

Taeyong strokes his nape. “It is one of my goals— dream, even. But I’m not sure, manager. I’m done being a punching bag.”

Manager Oh rubs his eyes. “I know…it’s just that McGregor is coming back and having a match with you could guarantee popularity for him.”

Taeil shakes his head in dismay but he never utters a word.

The boxer is still unconvinced.

The manager sighs. “He’s cleared of steroid usage.”

Taeyong squints. “What if he does it again pre-match? Then that cancels the match, what about the UBT spot they’ve promised?”

“You don’t have to worry about that… we have a written contract.”

Taeil shakes his head in disappointment. This rash decision of the team is what they'll be regretting later especially when an informal agreement is raised up. It won’t guarantee a spot to a big fight that easily. It’s like chasing dust.

Taeyong inquires further. “When is this?”

“Next month. We'll grind to prepare you.”

Taeyong knows how sicko McGregor can be in the ring. He has seen some clips of his matches. But if it means being in UBT, he’ll go. “Alright.”

The manager stands up, brushing his pants. “We’ll move locations. I have a gym near the University you graduated from.”

The kingpin will return to the place where he started from rock bottom. It suddenly fills him with nostalgia. His two managers left the room for him to do his thing. Taeyong quickly grabs his phone and texted Doyoung, notifying him of his upcoming arrival.

[Compose Message to: doie] [9:15] I’m coming home from Busan. See you at your university. How’s Alpha chi Omega? I missed them as well.

His phone screen illuminates his striking face as he waits for a reply. Taeyong settles his phone down on the counter to ruffle his hair but Doyoung already responded. His phone vibrates.

[doie] [9:26] See you hyung. I will show you around. The boys (and someone xD) will surely be glad to see you. Aja!

Taeyong grins. He’s excited to go home as well. A thought lingers on his mind, who’s the ‘someone’ Doyoung is referring to?

The sun is ebbing its way to daylight. It is the day of your defense or as Doyoung calls it doomsday or the Purge. Doyoung left you instructions on how to answer the panel smoothly without having the impression that you’re clueless.

He never spoon feeds you rather letting you do everything on your own. For this defense, he told you to shut up and not blab anything unless asked. And he adds, ‘answer straight to the point and don’t fucking sugarcoat’. Professors grill students until you could no longer retaliate, they are spawns of satan and you are so sure of that.

This defense is the most stressful thing you encounter in your whole college life. An abomination, breaking people apart. Recitations are an exception though as you could always adlib like the stunt Doyoung pulled in his major classes.

The moment you set foot on the university grounds, you hear the cacophony of deafening alarm bells, signalling the students of the start of the first period. You sigh. Despite having to practice the day before (and practically being scolded and grilled by Doyoung), you still can’t calm your nerves. Your face immediately scrunches at the thought of summer classes.

The sun is shining through the large oval in your university. Beads of sweat glistening on your forehead. Swarm of boisterous students walked side by side. talking about the same exact thing that has been swimming in your mind lately-- summer. Alas, the whole semester of dread is coming to an end and you cannot longer wait to wear the pink leotard Doyoung jokingly bought you for your birthday. You head straight north passing by the department of physical education. You see the soccer players, in their mighty, flashy maroon uniforms, running over the field. You immediately recognize the familiar figure of Johnny and the way the curvature of his ass sticks out of his shorts. Not that you really enjoy ogling at his ass though but it ain’t just another ass. It's Johnny Seo’s ass, popular, might as well stare at the divine sight before he charges everyone for it. You know of the big guy since you’re living in a small world, he’s friends with your best friend and a good pal of your ex boyfriend. Everything around you will always connect with either Doyoung or your ex.

Johnny has a reputation like Doyoung though. But unlike your best friend being known as a snob, Johnny is known for his massive dick and palpable cockiness in bed. He senses your stare and cranes his neck around to face you. His teammates behind him huddle together to ogle at the female their captain is looking at. He smiles at your direction then waves at you enthusiastically from the field. Lips curl into a smile while giving him a wave. You hear rambunctious woos and boyish whistles from behind when you continue on walking towards your building. Boys.

The familiar mint green building is now in sight. You hug the folders close to your chest like it’s your armor while taking a sharp turn. It leads you down to the right wing but as soon as you are about to enter, a large signage of ‘use the main door’ blocks your way. Your annoyance reaches its peak level while shooting daggers at the locked door. You contemplate, if you were to make a dash for the main door that is a meter away from here, you’ll be late for the first period. And professors always makes the tardy students sing in front and never in your fucking life will do that.

A shout startles you in your place. “Son of a bitch!”

“What the hell are you doing there? Go to your room, dumbass.” Talking about the smart shit that just arrives with his sharp voice lacing with its usual deep suave and timbre that pierces your eardrums early in the morning. His building is just right beside yours. So whether you like it or not, Doyoung will be in sight to annoy the shit out of you like he usually does.

You turn to him. Going to the canteen to eat is tempting but the thought of disappointing Kim Doyoung and his efforts going to waste bites you off. “I’m nervous.”

The female students are eyeing both of you— most are stinky glares from his fangirls. You take a sharp breath and hoist up the strap of your bag properly.

“Just remember what I’ve told you. And don’t abash yourself.” He ruffles your locks and you immediately swat his arm away. The squeals of the girls from behind obliterates both of your gossamer thin patience and remaining one brain cell. Needless to say, you walk up the pathway towards the main door of your building.

The thick choking atmosphere welcomes you. The happy color of mint green from its interior doesn’t conceal the melancholy of the people inside. You hear an upcoming call of your name, but you couldn’t apprehend it clearly because of the continuous murmurs in the hallway. “Y/N!”

You let out a groan of abhorrence as you whip your body around upon the call. But there isn’t a familiar face to chit chat with so you proceed forward but the wind knocked out of your lungs when you were suddenly yanked from behind.

You are about to throw profanities when Dia’s face comes to view greeting you sweetly, “Hi, Y/N!”

You attempt to smile but it looks like you’re suffering with constipation with all your teeth gritted together, “Hey!”

Dia begins. “I can’t wait for the sem to end!” She beams enthusiastically while clinging onto your arms. You struggle to climb the stairs with her hips hitting you sideways.

“Me too.” You exhale while gathering your thoughts. Your minds a mess with the conclusion, summer outfit and the swarm of murmurs of the students in the stairwell. “I plan on getting a tan though or skinny dripping, I don’t know.”

“Oh my! Yes!” she laughs while tugging her lips out almost lost in thought. “Alpha chi Omega is actually planning on a homecoming party.” She smiles cheekily that is way familiar for you. You immediately grin at her being such a saccharine babe.

You raise your brows. “Who’s coming home?”

She shrugs. “I dunno.”

You frown while lost in thought . “Then how did you know about it?”

Dia waggles her eyebrows, a mischievous glint lighting in her eyes. “Of course. I keep tabs on the packing king, Johnny Seo.”

You grimace. “Huh? Packing? Where is Johnny going? I thought it’s a homecoming?”

Dia rolls her eyes heavenwards. You are being so impossible. “Packing as in walking around with a huge dick. My god, are you from the 90s?”

“I’m not. I just don’t go around ogling at... what you call him? Packing Prince.” You make a puking face.

Dia laughs while you mumble under your breath, “You are unbelievable.”

She clicks her tongue and leans in while shushing the words near your year, “I’m not though… hey you wanna know what’s unbelievable?”

It piques your attention, “What?”

“Johnny has the bomb-est ass ever. Like a hundred over ten, would recommend.”

You retreat back and scowl. She laughs at your impending disappointment. But she’s right though, in fact you saw a sight of Johnny’s ass early in the morning. Bomb it is. You shake your head, but a smile is tugging your lips upright, “Whatever you say so.”

Dia is still laughing, spreading positivity in the already sullen hallway in the ground floor. It didn’t last long as you both part ways upon the sight of room 402. You huff, trying to recollect your breath. Stairways will be the cause of your death. Your classmates are either feigning optimism or just dead tired. A voice booms out, alerting the class. You glance and see the person behind the said misery.

“Groups one, kindly present in front. Get ready groups three and five. Say hi to the panel of judges.”

“What in the fucking world?”

“You should have seen it coming.”

“The biggest bugbear of my life is spending summer in university instead of the beach!”

Doyoung gives you a nonchalant look. He immediately pays a visit to your building upon hearing your never-ending cusses at the call a while ago. He stands by the door of your room while his arms are crossed.

He begins, “At least you’re alive, though.”

Doyoung’s lips curling into a mischievous smirk. He cannot hide the fact that he’s impressed that you didn’t undergo a breakdown unlike your classmates and your control towards unyielding resilience.

“I’m not close to being alive. I am deteriorating!” You groan making sure to imbue your tone to complete sarcasm. You thought that the research defense is the endpoint of the semester, but it wasn’t since the professors have something bigger to offer-- more diabolical. The dean of your college disseminates the mandatory summer classes on all year levels to avoid the crashing of major subjects with organization stuff and to somehow lessen the unit overload. The idea is beneficial albeit disheartening especially for those students who already had plans for the summer like you. What a sweet summer in the university. You shoot him out a look, “How are you alive? Despite all of this?”

“Heavy workload and org stuff is the thing that haunts every student. My professor has consulted me about this matter beforehand,” he grabs his phone and glances at it. His chinky eyes widen and he clears his throat. “We’ll be pushing the brave run next sem.”

“Is that the annual event of your sorority that you’ll be running around in the campus, naked?”

Doyoung hisses. “Shut up. It should be kept a secret,” he shrugs. “But, yes.”

Another fact why his sorority is famous among the female students of the university. The brave run is an annual event held by his sorority, which symbolizes "a selfless offering of one's self to the people of the country.’ Running around naked with a mask to conceal their identities. And it’s going to be Doyoung’s first run. He fidgets in his spot while looking at you then at his phone. You cast him a doubtful look, “Do you need some privacy or whatever?”

He looks straight from your shoulder. “No, no. Stay put.”

“I wanna sit. I was standing for hours in front a while ago.”

Doyoung presses his lips in a thin line. He lamely mutters. “I will show you something.” He keeps on fidgeting in his place while glancing sideways. It deeply concerns you because he’ll look at his phone then will grin afterwards. Doyoung never grins. What in the world?

He certainly knows something that you’re completely oblivious about. His phone buzzes again.

[from TY Track] [1:15] I thought your building is white one? How come you’re in a green one? You have a girlfriend from the nursing department don’t you? Ayeeeeeeeee. [1:19] im at the third floor lobby,, where are you?? I’m starving!!

Doyoung is on the fourth floor. Currently playing cupid.

He gives you a look with a shit-eating grin lingering on his slender face. Not that he looks unpleasant to the eyes since he’s far away from it but rather handsome. But it greatly aggravates you because since that one message he received this morning, he just won’t knock it off with the annoying grin of his. You really need to know who the hell is responsible for his change of demeanor.

Doyoung is the most misanthropic person you know and he always frowns. Unless he’s with his male friends or with you. Let he’ll freeze first then you’ll see him smile to his ears. He holds a finger near your face, “Wait here.”

You swat his wrist away but before you could knock him off, he’s already marching down the hall.

“Kim Doyoung! Wait!”

You let out an exasperated sigh while playing with your lace to kill out boredom. Dia whistles to capture your attention. You return back inside your room to fix your things and to entertain the sulky Dia. She pouts, “I’m seriously starving! Let’s go to def!”

Def is the university’s cafeteria where both you and the guy who made your heart pound, met.

“Okay hold on. Let me sign the attendance sheet for a while.” You approach the class secretary seated in front. Your back is against the door and a familiar figure looms near the door frame—looking lost.

You’re playing in a full deck. Unaware of the guy who’s once your life, standing behind you.

Taeyong and his team leaves Busan early at four in the morning with the yellow and pink hue of the sky slowly creeping along its way eating out the velvety dark skies. Taeyong drags his feet heavily against the grey pavement with his athletic bag hoisted on his shoulders. The early morning wind gives a chill blow that prickles the skin of the boxer.

Taeil is walking behind him with his daily black coffee in hand and face sullen due to drowsiness. The team is moving at a fast pace and occasional long sighs are heard. Taeyong gawks at the team moving dumbbells, mats, gloves and belts in their black van.

“Does your sorority know you’re coming home?”

Taeyong stares at his manager. His lips tugging upwards. “Yes. I’ve texted one of my friends and suddenly they’re throwing a homecoming party for me.” Taeyong’s chest vibrates with laughter.

Taeil’s lips tugs upward in mischief as he knocks the hood of the van breaking the deafening silence of the early morning. The team immediately scramble inside the van like ants fighting off with seats, dirty banters and shades being thrown against each other.

“I’ll sit here!” “It’s cold in that spot, I didn’t take a bath!” Another spits. “The handsomest is gonna seat beside the Kingpin.” Another voice holler. “Oi. Oi. No!”

The manager let out a tired sigh while adjusting the shoulder bag on his right shoulder. He reaches for his back pocket and wipes the droplets of sweats on his temple. “Let’s go, before these guys kill themselves.”

He calls out with a stern tone rolling out of his tongue it immediately calms the chaotic boys, sheepishly fixing themselves while uttering incoherent apologies. They begin filling up with the manager taking the empty spot beside the driver’s seat. The rest scatter themselves on the spots they deem as comfortable.

Taeil shoots Taeyong a knowing look and juts his head towards the empty seat beside him near the driver’s seat. Taeil reclines his back on the leathered seats and heaves a long tired sigh. “It’s good to be back. I wish they were preparing roses for your comeback. It felt like Disney, like for shits really.”

Taeyong grins. “Doyoung and Johnny told me about it. Alpha is scrambling like ants.”

Taeil’s voice lowers for a second. His thoughts are swimming in an endless swirl of abyss. “Fighting with McGregor could cause you collateral damage.”

The boxer rests his hand on his nape and closes his eyes for a moment. He knows. He whispers, “I know. May the odds play with my side.”

“This is not about the odds now, he could destroy you, I’m serious!” Taeil scoffs while scanning the view of the early and still asleep city of Busan. “Namjoon fought with him once, and the boy went home with broken ribs and hand fractures,” he trails. “It’s still early to back out. I’m really worried.”

“I am already destroyed, hyung. Ever since I chose this over engineering and leaving like I could really live through all of this…”

“Hyung, if I back out… all of these would just be a whole damned joke.”

“Please…don’t take McGregor easily.”

Taeyong attempts to dismiss the growing anxiety in his chest. One step at a time. One punch at a time, one round at a time. He sets a self mantra. “I won’t.”

The heavy traffic greets them the moment they make their way to the city arriving exactly at twelve. Upon arrival, the team immediately unloads their baggage on the gym’s connected apartment while the manager nurses several calls about the match with the upcoming weigh in, face off, and budgets.

Taeyong glances at the gym’s interior. It's a rundown one with a large ring in the center, barbell and dumbbells on the floor and a large mirror from across where he is standing. The lights flicker above him, casting a warm glow of yellow on his face. Taeil squeezes his shoulder, surprised at how he’s so rigid. Taeil begins, “Johnny gave me a call and he said that you should get your flat ass in the university.”

Taeyong throws his head back, mortified. “What? Okay, fat ass.”

Taeil rolls his eyes. “My ass is bomb.”

Taeyong raises his brows. “Squatting?”

“Yeah. Every night, wanna see?”

“I have my own ass.”

“Yeah…a flat one, unfortunately.”

Taeyong grimaces. “My ass is ‘bomb’ too.”

“Keep on dreaming flat ass.”

“Don’t be rude!”

The familiar name of the university greets Taeyong the moment he arrives. Doyoung notifies him of his whereabouts; in the medical department. Taeyong furrows his brows, just when did Doyoung shift his course? He said he’d die being a polsci student.

Taeyong carries himself towards the familiar sidewalk of this university where he graduated highschool and was supposed to study engineering at.

However his fate makes a whole turn when he’s casted by an agent when he’s buying bread from the downtown pancake house. And it all just happens just like that, him leaving all of a sudden, ending everything at his loved one’s disposal.

His boxer facade falters as soon as he steps foot on the familiar grounds. With him here, he isn’t the Kingpin rather just the ordinary Lee Taeyong. He moves agilely, a thing he learned in boxing. His skin shimmers under the hot glimmering sun with his perspiration glistening against his forearms. Taeyong’s doe eyes scans the tall college buildings, looking precisely for a ‘tall building that is colored green with a bunch of people wearing white uniforms’ as per Kim Doyoung.

A thought erupts in him, it’s been years since his last visit here. Everything before his eyes is entirely unknown for him. He spends a good minute searching for the building while running a hand over his silver locks that are haphazardly tousled in different directions.

He ignores the flirtatious call of the students. The girls let out exhilarating squeals when he asks about the building and points behind him. Just as he’s about to go, someone yanks his arm dragging him away towards the opposite direction that planted a frown upon his face. He tries to dismiss them as kindly as he could when he sees that there is no way that they’ll be letting him go especially when he looks like a hot mess.

There’s actually no use in flirting anymore as he’s still emotionally invested for one girl that is you.

His eyes trail over the unfamiliar building and contemplate for a good minute before entering. The aura of the place elicits the same vibe in the boxing gym of his manager, bright by nature but something elicits off-ness more on sombre.

His long legs easily climb the series of stairs until he reaches level three and glances around the place. Searching for the familiar figure of Kim Doyoung but he finds nothing even a silhouette of the boy. He fishes out for his phone to send him a text, the mobile vibrating after his taps.

[from doie] [1:17] we’ll eat later!!!1 i need to show you someone oops something11!! :D [1:18] i'm coming!!! hold on!! Waaait

Taeyong hears rapid footsteps then a high pitch call of his name. A sudden tackle takes him by surprise. “I missed you, hyung!”

Doyoung holds him at shoulder, his eyes examining his whole body. “You've grown so well and— damn.”

The boxer standing before him is drastically different from the person he last saw two years ago. He’s not as fit rather skinny but the way he puts it now he’s got a massive glow up that takes him by surprise. With Taeyong by growing inches, his skinny fit that is now lean that is packed with muscles due to the strenuous training he’s put into and the eye catching tattoos that're lingering on his arms. He smirks at the sight of your familiar face minimalistically tattooed on his forearm.

He inwardly chuckles. Fools.

Doyoung didn’t waste the fraction of his time and drags a protesting Taeyong all the way at level four. Taeyong throws a questionable look, “What are we here for? Is Donghyuck in Nursing? Wait… are we here for him?”

“You’ll see… and no, let the moon be green first then we’ll see him here.”

“Oh.”

A chill runs down Taeyong’s spine. The heavy traffic they went through made him thirsty to the bone—now he wanted to drain his bladder. He calls out while eyeing the figure ahead of him, “Doyoung?”

Doyoung answers him with a shit-eating grin that made Taeyong think to himself. Is Doyoung in love at the moment? “Yeah?”

“I need to pee. The traffic sucks, I had to drink to keep myself entertained.”

He hums, not processing every word Taeyong says. He calculates everything in his disposal. From his distance, he can see your back facing the door where he’ll lead Taeyong into. Thus, hitting two lovefools.

“Fancy. Go over to that room.” Taeyong glances at the room Doyoung is pointing at. He didn’t question the boy further because his bladder is asking for a fucking break. He slowly approaches the room while lost in his thoughts. He leans on the doorframe and asks where the lavatory is. Then, immediately jogs down the corridor without a word.

Doyoung stands there, expectant and all smiley. Until he sees a different face entertaining Taeyong and your figure marching away with your friend, Dia. Doyoung attempts to call for your attention but you’re already out of earshot. He clicks his tongue in irritation. Cupid fails.

You sluggishly drag your feet inside your room. Doyoung is nowhere to be found until you hear muffled singing so you reckon he’s in the shower doing his thing. You press your lips into a thin line while casting a look around your ransacked room that has been untouched for months. It may be the course of adrenaline pushing and so you cleaned.

Doyoung walks around the shared place without a top that isn’t a sight that makes you utterly surprised anymore. You both share collective memories together, all deep and humiliation. So seeing him in his boxers early in the morning isn’t disturbing anymore. You do though, when he smiles.

Doyoung squints, eyeing your figure going from one part of your room to another. He knows you don’t have plans on throwing yourself into the inviting city to lash out your stress from the months you have spent in university but rather dancing. Unbeknownst to you, he’s planning something to stop you from doing your ridiculous dances in front of the farm animals sparing them the ridiculous sight after all he’s an animal rights advocate.

Tonight is the homecoming party for Taeyong that surprisingly spreads out in the university like a wildfire. It will be damn-ed as the probability of both of you meeting might not be high due to the flood of party-goers rushing for the free alcohol and the said sorority and because of your lazy ass. Doyoung dons his blank tank top and ruffles the damp mop of raven locks above his head.

You glance from your door and see your best friend have an absolute glow up like he doesn’t look dead just from days ago. There’s no doubt that Doyoung has his own ravishing features-- his scar, tall nose, pink lips, and the over-all enticing eyes that elicits a mysterious aura.

“Where are you going?”

Instead of answering your inquiry he taps furiously on his phone. You can sense the infuriating spark that glowers on the boy. He finally looks up at you. “There’s a party in Alpha.”

“You’ll be staying there?”

He coos. The hidden sneer you can hear that rolls out of his tongue with great clarity that immediately brings your eyes heavenwards. “Why? You’ll miss me?”

“As if.”

“I will be staying there. You should go, though?” Doyoung absolutely knows how such a party pooper you were that you’d rather stay home than mingling in a random college party or whatever social gatherings. Your reason? The signature ‘I hate going out, Kim Doyoung’.

It is part of the practice of his sorority to give out roses to a homecoming member, as significant as a welcoming gift and roses have a deep meaning for the frat. He volunteers to bring the roses for Taeyong since he has a cupid business to attend. He purposely left the roses in his room for you to bring your lazy ass in the sorority house and deliver the parcel to Taeyong. He grins at the thought.

You grunt loudly, generally having no qualms on concealing your obvious irritation. “Why do you keep on grinning? It scares me.”

Doyoung raises a brow then chuckles afterwards. “I’m just happy that I will finally get laid after these past months of hellish semester,” he trails off and gives you a knowing look. “Bye!”

It got you off guard. Kim Doyoung getting laid?

He beams at your surprised face. “I will be late. The alumni might be there anytime soon.”

“Who is the alumni?” This has been the talk of the town next to the homecoming party. You have no idea who it is despite your best friend being in on the said sorority.

Doyoung runs his hands over his hair again and gives you a lopsided smile. “Secret.”

He makes a dash for the door leaving you hanging and hungry for answers. Knowing him, he’ll never spill no matter how you squeeze him into doing so. It frustrates you as curiosity is getting the best of you.

Doyoung didn't bother to spill the person because for all he knows you’ll be meeting him anytime soon. It’s Lee Taeyong.

It's eight in the evening and surprisingly you were being productive at bare minimum. You try to uplift your mood by beautifying your room to look like it’s been owned by a lady not some random drunktard. After cleaning, you prepare dinner but the constant ringing of your phone disturbs you mid-way. You didn’t spare the called ID a glance for you know who the call is from.

You snarl. “What?”

The chaotic music in his background is making it hard for you to comprehend what the hell he was trying to convey. His voice lowers two tones down his usual. “Hey, can you bring the roses here? I forgot to bring it with me.”

You immediately roll your eyes. “And why should I do that?”

Doyoung on the other hand is trying to rake up his brain for possible things to coax you to bring your ass and the roses in the party. The alcohol might be taking a toll on him but it’s helping him to think of an easy plan to bring you here without any questions arising from your mouth. “I’ll treat you to dinner.” And just like that.

You let your pride be damned. A free dinner is always a key to do favors. You huff. “Where is it placed?”

Doyoung immediately grins. “At my room, on the plush chair by the window.”

You cannot decipher how complicated your best friend is sometimes. It aggravates you. He never forgets his things and you think that he is doing this on purpose just to make you walk out of the shared apartment. But whatever his intentions are, the free dinner he coaxed you with is promising. You walk inside his room and the sight of his perfectly tucked bed welcomes you, the bundle of crimson red roses sits by the grey chair just beside his window. You didn’t know much of his sorority’s practice nor the significance of the rose, but you chose not to further question the frat’s motive behind it as the free food is your topmost concern.

You scramble out of Doyoung’s room to fix your dishevelled appearance. You grab the blue summer dress on your bed and thrash in an oversized cardigan to spice out the look then you pumped some gloss and ran a blusher on your cheeks.

Damn the man who spoils your plans on binge watching Netflix. Damn Kim Doyoung. And damn you for biting on his bait.

You made a beeline for the door, your phone in hand and the roses in the other.

It’s gonna be a long and young night.

For a summer night, the wind is surprisingly chilly and not humid. The night sky is clear with the stars twinkling brightly along the perfectly arched moon. The walk to Alpha chi omega’s house is not that long by car but unfortunately, the university carpool is not available and so here you were walking to the farthest side of the university.

It doesn’t take you long to locate the house out of all the similar frat houses lined up together like building blocks. The house that belongs to the hosting sorority is booming out loud with obnoxious music and the notable crowd of wasted college students going in and out of the main door. The place reeks of sweat and alcohol. The sight of red cups litters the front yard and the large ‘homecoming’ banner is perched up the front porch of the frat house. You feel out of place just by standing out there awkwardly with a bouquet of roses in hand while mentally cursing out and throwing imaginary daggers on Kim Doyoung. If it wasn’t for the free food, you would never be here.

A familiar ass caught your attention but it isn’t Johnny’s but Mark Lee’s. A sophomore and a civil engineer major that you bump into occasionally because of Doyoung. You approach his figure and his dishevelled state really caught you off-guard. He’s standing in his overall glory; with black tee that clings onto his lean torso and grey sweatpants. His high cheekbones stand out and his cheeks are slightly flushed due to two reasons you are sure of, alcohol and the cramped crowd inside.

You clear your throat as you attempt to voice out your concern however it comes out as a mere squeak. “Do you know where Doyoung is?”

Mark gives you a knowing smile while giving you directions on Doyoungs whereabouts. There’s something off about Mark’s sly smile. Confusion undulates on your soft features which made the younger grin even more.

Another sophomore jumps into the picture. He sends Mark reeling on his position but the younger boy shoots up a grin as an answer to Mark’s scowl. His tan skin glows under the poor lighting on the front porch of their sorority house and he looks beautiful nevertheless. Haechan brings the red cup to his plush lips, his throat bobbing down with every gulp of the beverage. He breaths while giving you a mischievous grin. “Well, someone’s about to cross paths with someone.” He makes sure to give emphasis on the word someone while grinning up to Mark.

You raise your brows. “Yes… Doyoung.”

Haechan clicks his tongue. “May the odds be with you, y/n.” They continue on gulping their drinks and leaving you questioning what the hell are they trying to imply. It seems like they are trying to point out someone is about to meet you but you weren’t sure who?

Making sure you were out of earshot, the two boys fished out for their phones. Typing in the same text flying into their minds.

‘She’s in, make sure Taeyong is in the damn kitchen.’

They know. Except for you and Taeyong. Talk about thrill.

You stalk away and enter the house. Irritation bubbles inside your system like a brook. It feels as if everyone knows something that you should be aware of. No matter how hard you try to think of a person who you can possibly meet in here, there’s none in mind. You try to wipe it away by mentally taking a note that what you are doing is a commission; a full course meal paid by Kim Doyoung.

The sight inside of the house is quite a scene; a wild scene to be exact. Typical. Bodies are grinding each other by the beat of the hired DJ, sweat and alcohol as well as humidity. You squeeze yourself through the crowd of wild college students. Some sort of liquid splashes your skin but you paid no attention to it.

This is why you hate going out. The only time you have been dragged into a party is with Taeyong. No, it wasn’t obnoxious but rather magical. Anything done with Taeyong is always spectacular, he makes all the mundane things dull to extra.

That was during the last years of highschool when he asked if you could go with him to this frat party and you obliged. It was also in the same setting of a summer night, young and chill. Deja vu.

Taeyong holds onto your hips that night while he glowed perfectly underneath the pale moonlight. The dusk may have taken its way that time but you can still remember how bright he glows like a crazed halo. Maybe the reason why you can still find your way to the outskirts of the university where the sorority houses are found is because he already brought you here. And everything, every memory you have shared with him is always indelible.

You can remember a quote from Fitzgerald. ‘So we beat on boats against the currents, borne back ceaselessly into the past’. You find yourself spacing out remembering how his soft lips brushes against your pinna, whispering words that replays over and over and over again. Both of your bodies stayed close, swaying with the melodic beat that the speakers blasted up. It was always Taeyong, his scar, his lips, his eyes that are always so alive. It was always him, always.

Taeyong leaned over saying the words that no man you tried dated ever uttered to you. “You are my sweetest feeling that I know.”

You beamed up to him. “I think my soul is in love with yours.”

And you will always be. And nostalgia hits. You miss Taeyong. He has so much space filled inside your heart.

You finally squeeze yourself past the hungry and wasted crowd and head towards the kitchen where Mark instructed you to go. You narrow your eyes searching for the familiar figure of your bestfriend but he wasn’t there, not even a trace of his silhouette.

The kitchen is bustling with alcohol. Piles of beer cans, half empty bottles of wine and few bottles of soft drinks dominated the sleek black granite countertop. You walk near the kitchen island where several drinks are offered placed haphazardly allowing the people to nurse their own drinks. You had your back facing the opposite hall that leads to the dining area while clutching the roses for your dear life.

Taeyong is leaning against the wall facing the dining area where his highschool friends are currently at. The rose ceremony was delayed because of Doyoung and so he busied himself by trying to catch up with his old friends.

“How’s life so far, Taeyong?”

Taeyong smiles, he’s always as fresh as raindrops. “Usual.”

They laugh. “How ‘usual’ is usual though?”

Taeyong thought to himself. It is bland, empty and he always finds himself staring past the mirror trying to remember how your face looks like since the last glance he had was exactly two years ago. He shrugs his shoulders and lifts the red cup to his lips. The alcohol rakes his throat, foreign. “A couple of punches here, training there, matches here, and rings over there. Usual.”

They continue on carrying their own conversation on which Taeyong lost interest. He just stares, his mind traveling and wandering. A high pitched screech alerts him, he immediately settles the cup down, the contents splashing over the dinner table. A woman is on her knees, clutching her lips with her hands.

Taeyong immediately crouches down. “Hey, are you okay?”

She slurs and Taeyong tries to comprehend what she is trying to convey. “Wuh-teeeeer…”

“Huh?”

“Wuuuuh-teeer…”

Water.

He immediately assists the girl to the kitchen sink. Dragging her slumped body slowly towards the kitchen floor. He tries to call out someone in hopes to help him with the inconvenience. But the kitchen is surprisingly empty.

It’s a plan to have two souls meet together in one. But fate must’ve fucked up the plans of the brotherhood. For the one soul is mending a random wasted college girl and the other one is fuming in anger.

You storm out of the kitchen when you are about to brandish a cocktail while waiting for Doyoung. Someone approaches you, pouring a beer into a red plastic cup.

“All right, babe, you’re free tonight?” He nods, concentrating on getting his foam right while looking at you intently. You didn’t know who this guy was, but bold of him to be so overly confident. Pity he was a massive stoner from the looks of his red eyes. And he’s not, never, your type.

“I’m not interested.”

His eyebrows went all sarky. “Why, you got a date?”

You face him entirely. “Look. I told you I’m not interested so don’t get too overly friendly and get the hell out of my face.”

He settles his cup on the counter and crosses his arms over his chest while leaning over to you, clearly invading your personal space. “Why should I do that?”

You wrinkle your nose at the smell of his breath. “God. I’m out of here.”

You let your feet drag you away from the party.

Oblivious to the failure, the other members of the sorority gather themselves around the front porch obnoxiously betting to one another. They have this one picture in mind, a painting of Michaelangelo, the creation of David. Where two fingers connect. Little did they know. There isn’t a meeting that happened in the first place.

“I bet my ass, those two have already met!” Hyuck yells. “Homeboy must’ve scored!”

And they all holler at once. Then, they hear someone clearing their throat.

“Goodbye. I’m heading home.”

The boy’s eyes widens at the sight of you at the door, fuming. Doyoung is at the end of the staircase, examining you. He inquires, “Did you meet someone?”

You roll your eyes, “Yes, you,” you approach him and hand the roses. “Someone must’ve been so drunk he directed me to the kitchen when you are actually here.” You shoot Mark a look as soon as you finish your sentence and he answers with a sheepish grin.

You turn to Doyoung, “Treat me to a nice dinner tomorrow.”

It’s confusing for him. “Wait… you really didn’t meet someone? Why are you leaving so sudden?”

The boys quiet down suddenly, all confused with the matter.

“Oh, I did meet someone.”

“Yeah?” Sparks of excitement ignited inside Doyoung's chest.

“Yeah…” you sigh. “A fucktard to be exact.”

Doyoung’s brows furrow for a moment then realization hits him. There’s never an encounter that happened like he initially expected to. The roses didn’t reach Taeyong. And you were also mad which is uncommon. You clear your throat again, “I will head home.”

You lightly smack Doyoung cheeks and head off.

“No way Taeyong is…a fucktard though?”

“Man, go home you’re drunk.”

“I heard my name.” All heads whip towards the direction of the voice. Taeyong.

A confused silence filled their friend circle before Mark interrupted mid-way, “No way Ty....”

They all groan in disappointment. The roses shenanigans didn’t work.

Johnny slurs. “Maaaaaan, if someone didn’t get a shot. I’ll be getting my own shot.” And he stumbles on his own feet and lands on Mark and accidentally kisses him on the lips.

Mark immediately pushes the taller guy away from him. A scowl paints his face while wiping his lips furiously. “Maaaan, what the fuck are youu doin’ maaan?”

Johnny yells, “No homo, bro!” And continues on peppering the protesting Mark with kisses.

Sunday arrives faster than you have expected it to be. The professors were much more considerate with the classes and decided to have an interval for each class so it’ll be less of a burden for the students. After the party from Doyoung’s sorority everything seems to be a cultural reset from partying to lessons real quick. This is college and you are really accustomed to it.

You ponder, there is just something—sort of difference in the air surrounding you and Doyoung—something like he’s been plotting something so evil or mischievous and it kneads in your chest that you’re the prey. Or whatever that is.

He doesn’t say a word when you drag him to a restaurant of your choice but you are pretty much sure that deep inside he’s cursing you with all his might. You try to annoy him, testing his patience yet he answers you with a forced smile. But the way his eyes spark with such animosity is enough evidence to show how infuriated he is that he needs to pay for your dinner. And too bad for him, you have a big appetite.

“What do you fancy eating today? Stir fried rice, or,” he stares dumbfoundedly at the large menu while scratching the back of his head. He mumbles incoherently, “I will just go with the black bean noodles.”

Doyoung’s body turns around towards your direction, “What do you want?”

You state all of your orders and you can clearly see the way Doyoung’s face grimaces. The cashier jots down the orders and Doyoung pays the bill with a pained expression ebbing his face. It was beyond entertaining when he was clutching the bill so tightly, the cashier had to muster such great effort to pull away the bill out of his iron grip. It was his fault anyways; he’s being such an idiot.

“How’s your major?” you beam while mixing the fried rice. The mouth-watering sight in front of you made your stomach turn somersaults. Has it been months since you have eaten legit food? You didn’t know but right now you just want to stuff yourself up. Free food is always much more tastier than those that you pay for.

“I’m taking up three units for fundamentals of political science,” he blows up the searing hot noodles and slurps it all. Doyoung’s cheeks puffs as he chomps loudly on his food.

There’s a deafening silence between both of you. Minding your own businesses until Doyoung’s phone rings obnoxiously, disturbing each other’s peace. He picks up the vibrating phone with his lithe fingers and scowls at the caller ID, “What?”

You stare at him in silence. Still devouring the freshly served food on the table. Doyoung dramatically settles his phone on the table. An expression of agony painting his slender face. You ask, “What?”

He never tries to conceal the words he just spatted. Making you wanna hide away in embarrassment as the other customers shot you both dirty looks. “I want to poop.”

It’s taking a whole lot of effort for you to not headbutt the raven haired boy that is sheepishly grinning at you. You really do. The straightforwardness of Kim Doyoung can be excruciating for the people around him and you are not an exception.

You grit your teeth, “Then go! I don’t have the loo with me! Jesus Christ!”

He raises his brows and settles his chopsticks on the table. He clutches his chest. “After the good deed I have done to you, this is what you are gonna pay me back? You’re heartless.”

Alright, the weight of his statement has hit you straight to the gut. You try with plenty of effort not to shoot him a leer. You clear your throat and push away the growing impatience as you hoist your bag to your shoulders ready to get something for him. With the conscience card that he has recently pulled, you know he wants you to get him something. “What do you want?”

He smiles and uncoils from his slouch, rising to his full height emitting this smug superiority. “Gatorade.”

You squint your eyes and muster the deadliest death glare you can throw towards him. “You’re lying like… what is the gatorade for? You’re clearly making me pay you in return!”

He frowns at your claim. “I’m dehydrated. I chugged down plenty of beer, do you think that’ll make my stomach happy? Do you want me to fart on you to further support my claim?”

You roll your eyes in disbelief, “You’re gross.”

“I’m just trying to support my claim.”

“How? By broadcasting your physical state?”

He tries to open his mouth for another retort yet you immediately wave your hands in defeat. Bickering with him is like talking to a smart wall. He will try to twist everything until you want to give up, like practically shoving your head underwater. And the fact that he’s a political science student, of course arguing is one of his best specialties.

You left as soon as both of you finished your meals. You rake up your brain of possible stores that sell Gatorade and the first thing that has popped into your mind was the convenience store on the east avenue that used to be you and Taeyong’s favorite spot. The memories flood your brain.

“What does it taste like?” Taeyong asks, his brown orbs staring at you with such longing.

“Sweet.”

He raises his brows, “Oh?”

“Yeah, have a taste,” you offer him the sponge cake you’ve been munching a while ago. You extend your arm in his direction and scroll absently on your phone. Before you can even complain about why it is taking him a long time to have a taste, his lips are already smashed against yours.

Goosebumps immediately rises up to its wake upon the feeling of Taeyong’s lips on yours. This is your favorite feeling, something that only Taeyong can do to you. His tongue grazes your lower lip in a deliciously slow pace of which made you enthralled in the process. In response, you part your mouth to meet him halfway.

He pulls back and smiles at you. “It’s so sweet, like you.”

You immediately blink to snap away from your reverie. You whisper underneath your breath, “Focus, y/n.”

Two years. Two fucking years have passed yet you are still drowning with the memories of him.

The chime resonates in the store, signaling your recent arrival. The cashier gives you a curt nod then returns to sort out the products that lay on the countertop. You immediately made a beeline for the freezers at the farthest part of the store and grabbed the striking blue drink that appeared similarly like those occasional highlights on Doyoung’s hair. You sigh while clutching the cold beverage, “Just like his stupid highlights.”

It happens so fast that you cannot decipher the scene that unfolds before you. A figure looms behind you grabbing a watermelon smoothie, his body slightly clashing on yours when you attempt to walk towards the cashier. He is clearly towering over your height and his back is facing you. The guy’s shampoo or cologne has a tinge of a melon undertone that really reminds you of Taeyong of which derives from the fact that he is standing so close to you. Secondly, you can feel the humming warmth that radiates off his body. You gulp hard.

You mentally curse at tangling yourself in an awkward situation. You should leave yet you find your face heating up, stunned with your brain freezing. You pause for a good minute to observe the stranger.

A chill runs down your spine at the sudden feeling and the proximity. You clearly know that this guy is a stranger, but there is a sudden feeling erupting inside you and your mind is coaxing you that he isn’t. He’s not a stranger. You stare at his back, trying to rake up who possibly this guy is. He had a mop of grey hair, dangling earrings on each side and a driven aura. You reckon he is handsome as well, judging by the way he can carry himself through the store. Your mind is in a state of an endless blackhole, empty. All you could think is the fact that his alluring scent has you biting inside of your cheeks and ogling at him shamelessly.

The guys must be feeling the heavy weight of your gaze from behind. And so, he turns his head slightly to his right giving you the sight of his ungodly sharp jawline. You didn’t get a good sight of his eyes since it’s covered by the occasional strands of his titanium colored hair. You blink hard, that fucking jaw is really familiar. The fucking tall nose is familiar. The guy nods his head in veneration and whispers a small “sorry.” And stalks away. You hear the bell chimes.

Your heart starts to slam against your chest out of nowhere when you finally formed all the puzzle pieces together. That familiar voice lacing with softness and care. The hair, the jaw, the nose, the way he dresses. No, this isn’t just one of your imaginations. You know, it’s him, isn’t he?

You make your way through the snacks aisle to chase after the guy. He’s just inches away from the door when you suddenly grab his jacket sleeve. You smile, “Taeyong?”

“Uhm… do I know you?”

Your expression suddenly drops. The guy you just pull in is not the guy from earlier. He looks foreign with his hair in the shade of burgundy. You sheepishly apologize, but it comes out as a mere squeak from embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I think I have mistaken you for someone else.”

“No shit. It’s alright.”

You pay for the beverage and snatch the parcel. You scramble to your feet quickly in hopes of searching for him. You know deep down, you’re sure of it. You crane your neck as far as you can possibly go until a voice laced from behind.

“What the fuck are you doing? And where’s my drink?”

You whip your body towards him and hand him the Gatorade.

Doyoung frowns. He tries to conceal the growing annoyance from his insides. Trying to act like his stomach frustrates him but the truth is, he is actually infuriated by the fact that Taeyong left the store so soon before you could even reach him. And he sees the scene unfold to himself. He huffs. With all the meticulous planning he thinks of, plus the help of his friends but still it isn’t enough that everything is derailing his momentum. Not just you and Taeyong but fucking fate itself.

At this moment all Doyoung thinks of is a ceasefire, he gives up. He’s one everything—including faking an upset stomach and practically broadcasting that he wants to shit just for the sake of both of you because Johnny notifies him of Taeyong’s whereabouts. Doyoung’s face is quite red by the chilly wind of Sunday night. He announces after trying to cool down his frustrations, “I’m going home.”

You raise your brow, “But you said we’ll still eat downtown?”

Doyoung glares. Now he’s back with his usual demeanor that you could easily taunt by throwing him a series of provocations. But you choose not to, he seems to be in a really bad mood. Not to mention diarrhea lies that you seem to be picking up. “I’m mending a stupid stomach.”

And before you could pull him back, his long legs already take him a long distance from yours.

Your feet backs up automatically and blend into the crowd. You cover your cheeks with your hands trying to wipe off the chilly wind that kisses you. Your summer dress’s hem flies after the sway of your hips. The adrenaline is still coursing through your veins due to the last encounter with the stranger in the convenience store. His alluring scent is still fresh in your mind and it only reminds you of the guy you are still obviously in love with. You shouldn’t be anymore, but there is still a spark that ignites through your chest. And in your mind there is this feeling of familiarity that lights up the fire that has long died two years ago. It’s not just a plain sense of belonging though, it’s Taeyong, and he always feels like home. It’s been two years since Taeyong ended everything nicely. Yet something is quite strange as the feeling of longing for him suddenly went away with just a simple encounter that you weren’t even sure if it’s him in the first place.

You utter to yourself, “It’s him, I’m sure of it.”

But the never ending question plays around your mind like a broken record. Are you really sure? Are you ready to face him after two long years?

You hug your figure as you make your way through the same familiar tracks of your favorite pancake house in the main district. You should be home right now, yet the alluring scent of pancakes has you dragging your feet into their shop.

The small shabby shop that is designed with occasional aesthetic trinkets makes it stand out amongst the industrial buildings beside it. It is bustling and alive with the swarm of people going in and out of their main door, stomachs full and satisfied faces. You enter the door swiftly, the scent of freshly cooked pancakes thrills inside your nostrils. The familiar tune of summer by Calvin Harris blasts on the speakers in the small diner.

When I met you in the summer To my heartbeat sound We fell in love As the leaves turned brown

The diner is very crowded tonight. You struggle to go past through the crowds but you understand, the pancakes they sell here is to die for.

And we could be together baby As long as skies are blue You act so innocent now But you lied so soon When I met you in the summer

Your face immediately lights up when the cashier hands you the awe-striking sight of the freshly cooked pancakes, flooding with maple syrup with occasional strawberries there and frostings that adorn the stacks. You took a whiff of the familiar cologne with a watermelon undertone from a while ago, but you couldn’t bring yourself to focus especially when a pancake is making you so thrilled to eat.

The bustling sound of the city mixes with the catchy tune of summer and you find yourself dancing slightly along it’s melody. The lights above you cast a warm yellow glow on your face while you are waiting for a change. You answer the cashier with a smile when she hands you the cash. When you turn around, it wasn’t the aesthetic decoration of the diner that surprises you. But your ex boyfriend’s handsome face comes to your view. Your heart pounds inside your chest, yes you were longing for him, and there he is. Fate plays.

When I met you in summer.

You whisper but Taeyong manages to hear that soft call that he fucking miss so much. Those plump lips of yours that utter his name with such love and endearment, “Taeyong.”

It takes you, well, a whole hour to plop down and listen to your best friend rant about you and Taeyong. The way he did plan everything but according to him,

“Fuck fate. Fuck destiny. But I’m glad though, even if I look like a villain trying to overthrow you two.”

You just know that he is beyond frustrated that he didn’t get the both of you meet with his own mirthful ways but nevertheless, he is happy. You, on the other hand, are still shocked. Not that you had a bitter feeling, but Taeyong really had a drastic change compared to two years ago. You barely even know him.

It comes to your knowledge that he is really famous now, with his alias Kingpin plastered all over the city. He got home for a match with this Gregory guy that you haven’t heard of which is the fact that you are oblivious to it, all of it. Taeyong was stunned that you didn’t know anything about him or boxing, and you felt bad and so you made a mental note to research about it and him. He looks much more handsome than ever. With his doe eyes that hold a strong sense of contradiction, it’s strong full of aura and fire yet soft and endearing at the same time. The favorite rose like scar is still prominent underneath his right eye. His nose. His lips, those lips, it takes you an ounce of effort to hold back and not to think of unnecessary thoughts while observing the way how slow his mouth opens whenever he speaks or how pinkish it appears.

Doyoung asks you while he plops himself comfortably on your bed. “What happened in the pancake house?”

It is awkward.

After you whisper his name it feels like everything stopped. Both of you are like statues glued to your spots, holding deep eye contact. You can feel yourself flustered underneath his strong gaze. Those gaze that gives you an impression that he’s been undressing you already just with those eyes. It lasts for seconds, until you are both shushed by the staff for the queue is getting long.

You flinch but relax the moment after when Taeyong’s hands found its way to your hips. Just like old times. He didn’t utter a word, instead he’d silently lead you to the table just near the door. You immediately elicit a gasp when the warmth of his hands suddenly disappeared. You blink hard then place your plate down and silently nibble on the edges of the pancake waiting for Taeyong’s arrival.

Now that he’s much nearer, you can smell his strong scent. It doesn’t hurt your nose but the watermelon undertone stays in your nose for a while. A chill runs down your smile when he has plopped down comfortably in his seat giving you a fresh smile that makes your heart pound against your chest out of nowhere.

Taeyong is itching to talk to you. He clears his throat, “So… I didn’t know you were actually staying here.”

You really couldn’t get a control of your voice, instead it came out really weak and not as strong as you hoped it would be. Out of all moments, your body is slowly betraying you upon the sight of the beautiful Taeyong. You really pray that he doesn’t catch you on. “I didn’t reach the quota in Missouri, and then the application period for Hansville is already closed. So I just stayed, I hate new enviro—”

Just as you could mention the environment, Taeyong already did. He gives you a playful look, “Environment?” There’s actually no point in small talk, because Taeyong knows everything about you but he did just for the sake of seeing you, your lips, your beauty, he’s risking it all.

You feel your chest vibrate with laughter, “You couldn’t blame me though, I hate people.”

Taeyong grins. But his eyes are glimmering of darkness that surfaces his orbs. Taeyong knows and he sees it all, his overall effect on you. His lips start to stretch more into a wolfish grin while inching closer to you.

You instantly gulp while staring at him back. “Why?”

“Are you really sure about that, y/n sweetheart?” His breath smells like mint that fans out your cheeks when he slowly dragged those words from his tongue. Casting instant warmth over your cheeks and activating your gooseflesh.

You find yourself struggling for words upon the catch of his old nickname for you. Especially when he’s in this state, the usual laid back manner. You hate people alright, but you had exceptions like Dia, Doyoung and unfortunately him as well. He immediately retracts from slouching and straightens up his posture. He licks his bottom lips slowly. Honestly, watching Taeyong is making you suffer internally.

“I really missed you, y/n.” He says, his voice echoing with deep timber that laces with velvet and sweet. But those words aren't imbued with sarcasm or mockery rather laced with deep sincerity.

Those words somehow pinches you. You do right? But there is something holding you back. Fear? You let out a grin but it looked really forced with all your teeth gritted. “It was good seeing you again, Taeyong.” You clear your throat for the nth time and try to push out the strange feeling away in your gut.

Both of you finish up your pancakes and he offers you a walk to your apartment. Both of you are not speaking letting the summer wind speak for both of you. The familiar building welcomes your sight, there is light in your unit’s window so you reckon Doyoung is still with the world. Taeyong clears his throat and stops in his tracks, “I guess this is your home, no?”

You smile, “Yes.”

He approaches you with such agility in an astounding manner. You catch a whiff of those familiar fruity scents again when he leans closer to you. In response you immediately shut your eyes, expecting. But there are no kisses delivered. Way to go and make yourself a fool.

He chuckles. “Can I get your number?”

Your whole face heats up as if you’ve been submerged in a tub of boiling water. You open your eyes and divert your gaze away from his playful ones. “Of course, Hand me your phone.”

“Just scribble it down my forearm.”

“What?”

“My phone died but I got some marker, so just jot the digits down.” He fishes for the pen and hands it to you. His calloused hands brushing yours, and those small forms of touch still delivers the extreme effects to your body.

Those sinful arms. Your fingers are shaking while jotting your numbers down, his bulging veins are too much of a distraction especially whenever he flexes it.

You bid him goodbye and speed walk away to enter your unit, missing the smile that ghosts his lips at your marching figure.

You couldn’t wipe Taeyong’s images that night from your mind and so does he. Hell, If you can just see how those smile never leaving his face at his unexpected meeting with you.

The sound of a rustling bedsheet snaps you to reality.

You stare at Doyoung. “It was okay.”

His brows arch upwards as if mocking you. “Liar.”

Heaven knows it wasn’t just okay, you indeed enjoyed having him as company.

An exasperated groan leaves out your body as the bell rang obnoxiously signaling the end of the final period. You immediately hoist your bag over your shoulder and march away from the school as fast as you could.

Unbeknownst to you, you are crossing paths with Taeyong in a day more than you had imagined. Just yesterday, you bump into him just when you were thinking about him. And his divine sight welcomes you, with his sun-kissed skin shimmering underneath the rays of the summer sun, his neck glistening with a thin sheen of sweat and those eyes that ignites with unexplainable aura and intensity.

You hate to admit but he has changed so drastically and you could use the term cool, to describe him and his current state. You see him jog around the oval with his titanium hair striking up giving more emphasis to his sharp features. It’s parted haphazardly and damp. His tank top is clinging to his torso soaked with perspiration. His biceps strains out, he’s not that bulky type but with occasional muscles here and there, his physique is much more lean. And with just those charismatic looks, it never fails to send you a pool of pleasure, there.

You feel a shiver when he turns around and runs a finger to his hair. His prominent veins bulged out as he tugged on his hair, fixing it into place. Your eyes trail down further until you see his abs on full display, coming to your view.

Fuck. Fuck everything and your raging hormones. You immediately return your gaze up to his face and you feel your face heating up when it comes to your realization that he’s been observing you as well. His gaze never leaves yours, then one moment, he lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe off his face. Giving you the view that you've been ogling at. He knows what you like and he’s giving it to you without any protest.

The sun shines through the oval, casting a yellowish glow on his body. His soft flesh is glowing with the occasional tattoos adorning his ribcage. You immediately gulp in hopes to diminish the growing sensation blooming in your stomach. But it never left, especially when Taeyong’s smile is being shot out towards your direction.

He’s really pleased to see you, especially seeing you in that body fitting uniform that makes him go hard on a summer’s day.

He approaches you without wiping the smile off his face. You fidget while trying to compose yourself not wanting to embarrass yourself much further. The night when you met him the first is enough.

“Fancy seeing you here. Are you headed home?”

“I ought to but I think I want to take a walk to the park.”

The bag straps dares to slip out of your shoulders. You utter an incoherent, “fuck.”

Taeyong immediately changes his expression. He looks at you in concern as he catches on your discomfort. “Why? Is there something wrong?”

“Oh… it’s just that the professor advised us to bring all three books for a collaborative reading but he didn’t show up.”

“Hmm…”

“And then I was tasked to report to the home room adviser so practically I have to carry out these heavy books while climbing up to the fourth floor.”

You immediately shut your mouth and your rants when you saw how he grew silent. You bit your lip and apologized meekly, “Sorry, I was just so tired from the summer class and this bag—”

He doesn’t utter a word but he grabs the bag away from you even before you can protest. He groans, “Damn, these are heavy.”

“They are.”

He stretches out his hand to you. “Come, let’s go to the park.”

You protest. Your eyes widening at his declaration. “But… but, you still have your training?”

“Nah. I can make time.”

And he pulls you away. His hand holding you dearly, just like old times. The warmth of his hands filling up those spots of yearning you had from his two year disappearance.

The walk to the nearest park wasn’t as deadly silent like the first night you both met. With both of your shoulders bumping and hands intertwined. You were not holding back anymore, clearly stating all of your distaste towards your college professors passionately with Taeyong chuckling in response. The conversation carries on smoothly filling out the gap that both of you had withdrawn from the years of absent communication. It’s filling out the space as both of you are talking about the randomness in all things possible not letting the implicit dead air eat out the aura engulfing you two.

Taeyong is not much of a talker, but when he does, everything that rolls out of his tongue could really hold a significant place in the listener’s memory. This fact still piques you up at the sight of his doe eyes quietly invested whenever you talk. You are always the talker between the two of you.

You can notice it from your periphery. You can feel the heavy weight of his drowning gaze piercing right through you as he examines you with such curiosity. You halt at your impending speech about student organization, feeling a lot more hotter than usual. The silence ebbed its way like how a beacon flies away from a started up fire. You let out a sharp intake of breath as you muster all your courage to reciprocate his heavy gaze.

You let out an airy laugh, “Is there something on my face?”

The way his demeanor changes drastically before your very eyes. His deep eyes are luminous, that made you feel some sort of deep mystification. His eyes are clearly looking at something through you, or searching for something to mend a yearning that is situated deep in his chest. He missed looking at your face, and a single gaze couldn’t fill those years of him trying to familiarize your face with those dusts in his memory.

“You’ve changed so much,” he says. His eyes are not leaving yours. You could almost feel some tinge of connection with just the way he stares down at you with deep adoration. That shoots out a simmering feel underneath your skin and painting out your face with searing hotness.

You try to conceal yourself by clearing your throat. “How do you know?”

“I keep on looking at you.”

“I can see that,” you state in a matter of fact. Challenging him further, “why is that?”

His lips immediately tugs upright at the change of your tone. He pushes in, further stretching out your curiosity, “Do you really wanna know?”

“Why?”

He blinks slowly, his eyelashes slightly fluttering against his eyelids. He opens his lips, “I wanna feel those lips again.”

You gulp hard when you see his gaze drops down to your lip level. That is the same thing you were thinking of the first time you saw him, don’t you? You also gawk at his as well, playing along the colors of a pale pink rose and crimson chrysanthemums. You can feel your brain struggling out to think of a thing to get away in this scenario you are in, instead you are lost in thought while looking at his lips. You definitely want to feel those lips as well.

“Why don’t you do it then?”

You lift the edges of your lips into a playful smile testing out the very edge of Taeyong’s patience. You must’ve stunned him at your vulgarity since he is opening his mouth for a retort but nothing rolls out.

“A-are you sure?”

This is the connection you were talking about. The constant pounding of both of your hearts are beating in sync against your rib cages. Feeling the same sense of want for each other’s touch. The butterflies flying around your stomach in an erratic manner.

“Do it.”

You thought he’s gonna hold back, but the sudden feeling of his lips crashing on yours had you sending in a skyrocketing ecstasy.

You didn’t get a hold of how long it has been, but all you can think of how sensual everything is. Goosebumps arise on your skin at the feeling of Taeyong’s tongue slowly grazing then nibbling on the plump flesh of your lower lip. You unconsciously let out a quiet moan that gave him access to meet you along the process.

Taeyong relaxes for a bit and you feel his hands slowly crawling up your arm and find its spot and settle it softly on your jaw. He caresses you slowly with such delicacy, afraid to give you a scratch. You are really lost with his mouth connected with yours. You are too stunned to think of something but it felt magical and passionate.

He slightly tilts his head towards his left and pushes your face more into him to deepen the kiss. His tongue grazing through the underside of your mouth.

He breaks the kiss, but his hands never left your cheeks. His forehead is resting on yours, a smile is ghosting his lips but his eyes are closed. He whispers your name sweetly causing a feeling of sparks igniting inside your chest. You rest your hands on his shoulders, gripping on it for dear life and to calm your nerves.

You can see the slow flutters of his eyelashes and how it cast a hollow shadow on his cheekbones. His breath slightly fans your face and you find yourself ticklish. He finally opens his eyes and how it holds such light, alive like the galaxy. He gives you a smile, “I really missed this.”

Then he leaned again to press on several small kisses, peppering your face with his lips while making smooch sounds. You immediately let out a giggle. His touch stays put, hot and tantalizing you can almost feel yourself burning.

This is what Taeyong has been dreaming of. How he yearns for that tinge of strawberry that he only gets to taste whenever he’s kissing you. You taste so sweet. Overly saccharine it made him much more alive.

Days past to weeks. It’s a routine like you expected it, impending torment every morning which is summer classes. But someone has added some spice to your monotonous life; Lee Taeyong. There has been a change in the atmosphere engulfing both of you— something that touches a nostalgic feeling — a slight nudge to your heart.

He is currently leaning at the back door frame of your classroom. Watching you struggle to finish up an essay that is currently due in fifteen minutes. That is exactly the sight he would die to see.

“Start with the main points first before you elaborate the sub points,” he beams. Good thing, you are situated at the very back and so you are both out of ear shot. You press your brows all together, concentrating on the damn vague subject but the scent of Taeyong is too distracting.

He crouches down and snatches the pen away from you, scribbling a lopsided pyramid with all the words as your starter. You stare at him and he gives you a smile in return. The way his eyes turn into moon crescents that made your heart churn. Do you really deserve those smiles?

He whispers proudly, “There. That should keep you on track.”

You gasp, “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He steals a kiss from you and stalked away with his phone on his ear.

Later that day, your phone keeps buzzing against your ass. The first ever text you’ve received from Taeyong. He had a new number.

[pretty but flat as a board lee taeyong] [4:16 PM] I hope you finished your paper! [4:18 PM] its taeyong btw [4:23 PM] uhm,,, perhaps you want to go for a ride,, like fuck I hate texting dhhdhd [4:23 PM] but I wanna show u around our boxing gym if you would like of course… [4:25 PM] text me back, yeah?

You immediately grin at the message.

[4:26 PM] alright, as long as you treat me dinner :D [4:27 PM] alsoo… thank you, I said it already but I want to thank you agaaain :) [pretty but flat as a board lee taeyong] [4:27 PM] you got that! :) [4:27 PM] see you!!! <3

You pretty much found yourself ogling at his last message.

[4:28 PM] anything for you, sweetheart. I love you.

Those messages from Taeyong got you in a state of deep conflict. You just thought of it as a simple get together and not a date. Right, that must be it, he just wanted to show you around the place where he boxes. That could be it.

On the other hand, Taeyong knows that it isn’t just something as a plain go-out impromptu. He really mustered his courage to ask you out for a date. And he hasn't thought of a proper place since he’s not permitted to wander around the outskirts of the city not until after his upcoming match. The boxing gym could be the second destination after dinner.

The shared relationship between the two of you has escalated more than just plain awkwardness. While you are munching out your yakisoba, Taeyong is eating out his salad, watching and lowkey happy that you are sharing a company with him even though the offer is quite a little bit absurd. You are now staring back at him whenever he does, occasionally throwing out flirtatious comebacks after the other. This made something spark out in Taeyong’s chest, is it a sign of your feelings coming back? Or something even bigger than the picture he has been painting? Commitment?

The walk to the boxing gym didn’t take up much of your time. Taeyong pushes the door and lets you enter in first. There are several people inside the gym and they all gave you a friendly greeting. There’s another man that approaches the two of you, probably a few years older than you and is handsome as well in his grey sweats and black shirt. His eyes mold into moon crescents as he greets you with all his pearly teeth showing, “You must be y/n? I’m Taeil, Taeyong’s other coach.”

The people in the gym scrambled out to the connecting unit to give you both privacy. It's just both of you, with the lights casting a warm glow between your bodies, the dumbbells untouched, the ring in the middle waiting for him. He leads you inside the ring as he hoists up the rope upwards for your entrance. The platform is quite slippery but Taeyong immediately guides you forward towards the middle with his hands gripping your hips tightly. You just watch him intently and you can see how he grew a lot more taller, practically hovering over your figure.

He demonstrates a simple punch here and there. Pointing out the parts of the ring but all of his words are muddled, swimming away as your attention is solely focused on his lips and the way his slender body sway with such grace and agility.

He removes the glove and throws it away. He approaches you, “Are you gonna do something with the way that you are looking at me?”

He can feel it. Tonight is something different. The way both of you are staring right at each other’s soul is a little different.

He slowly intertwined his fingers with yours then he holds it up to his lips to kiss your fingers gingerly. He’s taking his time to kiss one digit to another. Then, he leans slowly while grazing his lips onto the outer shell of your ear. Your body tingles at the warm breath fanning the right side of your face. “What does that stare mean huh? Y/n?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to speak with those tantalizing eyes staring at you, full of determination, smoldering with passion and lust. His touch on your hips is burning, shuddering as he caresses it down slowly emitting the rise of your goosebumps. His lips are brushing against your nose peppering small kisses just like old times. He handles you with such care like you are some sort of a delicate masterpiece by Michelangelo.

You just want him. His lips. His entirety. You want Lee Taeyong.

He caresses your jaw soothingly before leaning down to press a soft peck on your lips. Then, again and again. Until you encircled your arms around his neck to pull him closer. You feel him smile against your lips after reciprocating your hungry and passionate kisses. After all these years of yearning, you’ve never felt so alive. He’s something akin to fire that never fails to have your insides burn with so much spark and passion.

He pulls you more, pushing your figure on his. It feels surreal with both your bodies molding into one. His soft touch turns into a passionate tug of war with your blouse. His hands run over those curvatures that are hidden by your top. Oh god, he knows how he missed doing these.

Taeyong knows that you’re the catastrophe that yields this side of him. He loves you so much. And he believes that you are both made for each other, like planets meant to be aligned together. Your scent that smells like home with a touch of roses and bloom. Your lips that are perfectly made just for him, your tongue that slowly and carefully grazes his lower lip. The kiss that both of you are sharing is too sensual, different, grounded into something just like the very first one you have both shared.

He nibbles on yours that triggers a soft moan from you. You immediately granted him entrance. The ghost of his touch is still lingering on your jaw, until he settles it down onto your hips. You are sure that he can the loud pounding of your chest, the way the big spark ricochets against your chest with every touch he leaves.

It’s messy but surreal. Binding with much adoration and deep sense of lust. With his tongue exploring every bit of you. Tangling and connected by feelings. It is so romantic that you don’t want it to end.

He breaks the kiss, leaning against your temple. Ragged breaths resonate around the quiet gym. You take your time to settle your pounding heart and breath. You look at him, all but imbued with pure adoration and affection. His swollen lips whisper your name in awe and he smiles at how he dreamt of it and now it's unfolding before him.

You just want to be like these. With you tucked under his protective embrace. Listening to his erratic heartbeat. But, you were still afraid.

He whispers, “God. What will I do without you?”

“But… I’m always here.”

“But I won’t.”

You inhale a sharp intake of breath. “I don’t understand.”

“I might move out abroad for training.”

Those are the things you are always afraid of. Taeyong entering your life, then to leave out as soon you cannot contain yourself anymore, drowning with every piece of him, lost without his presence beside you.

This was your nightmares, coming back at square one broken and shattered. And it’s threatening to come back especially now that you are finding yourself falling for him, again.

It’s raining hard. Gloomy and heavy just like the constant barrage of thoughts clouding in your brain that you have overlooked a text message from Taeyong and Doyoung’s sudden appearance at your room.

“I can see a blooming college student, and why is that?” He teases but it wasn’t enough to make your mood lift not for a little bit.

“I don’t see myself as blooming though, why’d you say that?”

“Don’t lie to me. I can see how lovely and alive you are when you’ve been hanging out with Taeyong.”

“It won’t be long. I should’ve known,” you wipe your face. “God, why am I such an idiot?”

His face immediately concerts to concern, he knows you’re in deep conflict and something wrong is up. “Tell me.”

You told him everything. The internal battle you’ve recently put yourself into Everything that has been bugging in your mind lately. “I’ve let him in my life once, then now, twice and right now I’m unsure of everything. I’m even afraid that I have to go through the past shits I was thrown into because he chooses his career more than… us. And I don’t want to feel that misery again.”

He hums, “Look.” You embrace yourself for an earful of lectures from him. “But, who cares about the past? It's already done but it isn't just you who suffered and undergone extreme shit.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re dumb, y/n.”

“I said what I said, Doyoung. This isn’t love, it could be just the wild force like lust or whatever...”

“No, you’re still swimming around this deep pool of conflict and denial.”

“It's easier to speak about someone, Kim Doyoung. But you don’t know what I am feeling right now, stop invalidating me.”

“I’m not. But I’m speaking as a best friend and I know you love him more than you know, you do.”

You snap, “Stop concluding things!”

“Oh yeah? But if you are unsure of Taeyong, why do you keep on texting with him when you know that you shouldn’t? What about those kisses you both shared when he dropped you off here yesterday? You don’t know but you’ve been drowning with the presence of Taeyong that you’re oblivious to the fact that everyone knows you’re lying. You still love him.”

“I just want to hang out but that necessarily means I do love him.”

Doyoung clenches his jaw and approaches your figure. You’re being too difficult. Your eyes widens at his sudden outbursts but what made you stunned is that he suddenly pulled your face to his, then he planted a soft peck on your nose.

Doyoung knew this was coming, but he just wanted to help with the thing he knows will work. After all the shenanigans he pull, all of them didn’t work and ended the way he wanted in it be. By doing this, he will know if you are indeed in a midst of conflict or you really do love Taeyong. It’s a giveaway, if you do push him away, it just explains everything. If you do not, then he is wrong for pushing everything into your edge.

Doyoung is tall and thus, he can see the marching figure of Taeyong and how he stopped midway at the sight of both of you. From the perspective of Taeyong, it gives him a picture that both of you are kissing when in fact, Doyoung is just leaning down to match your height.

“What the hell?”

You immediately remove Doyoung’s hands from your face and spin quickly on your heels to meet him. “Taeyong, I can explain…”

Taeyong smiles bitterly, “No. save it.” He lets go of the material he’s been gripping through all this time.

The sight of Taeyong, he’s beautiful as ever. But looking at his face painting into a mixture of plain reticence and agony surely made you sick to the gut. You hate to see him hurting and when he spun his heel to leave, you chased him off. Afraid of losing him, again. At this moment you have been sure of it, you love him more than you do.

“Wait—“

He spins his heel but maintains a safe distance from you. “I didn’t know you and Doyoung had a thing, I should’ve known.”

“No! No, please, listen to me—“

His gaze is so dark with pain and anger. “I don’t want to hear anything from you. Imagine, I have been believing all these time, yet, fuck.”

“No, Taeyong…”

He snaps, “Do you really love me y/n? Or you’re just driven?”

That shuts you out. But you know that answer, it's just that fear is holding you from shouting out how much you love him.

He smirks bitterly, “See? Those could answer everything.”

Heaven knows how much you love Lee Taeyong. How you are afraid of seeing him leave and never return back.

The next days you are waking up to are the worst as you speak. The way every morning feels so heavy with a constant tirade of thoughts running over your mind like a shadow lurking by. Your mornings pass by bitterly without messages coming from Taeyong or his stupid voice overs that lulls you to sleep. Not even his sweet talks and songs. None of them all.

It feels like shit to wake up with a heavy chest glooming with unexplainable feelings of confusion and denial. You hated to admit but you are so angry with yourself for being such a pussy. The constant loop of emotions that you feel, above all fear of having everything repeat again, then anger at yourself for hurting Taeyong, then regret because you know you could have done something better. You are well aware that you are just forcing yourself into this pool of anxiety. Afraid of something uncertain, when you shouldn’t be and it was just enough to drive Taeyong away. You could have just told him you loved him, but you were letting yourself be pulled out by your own judgements. Love means sacrificing, but you were such a coward for doing so.

Denial that was the cause of the pain that killed his passionate eyes. You know too well that what you have shared with him isn’t just something as plain lust but it was driven by deep love and passion. Yet, you couldn’t even correct out the stupid lie that Taeyong had to forcibly believe. Because you were so afraid of admitting that you are falling back to him, and you’re afraid that he might not be able to catch you out like he did before all because of boxing.

But was it worth fearing for if it meant pushing him away? No. You loved him more than you do. Does it make you at ease to just bury down in your darkest pits and watch Taeyong disappear just because you were so afraid of taking up the risk? No.

In the course of summer’s day and hazy afternoons you have spent with him, shoulder to shoulder, swaying with deep grace and agility, you have seen how smooth your relationship with him changed. Unbeknownst to you, the relationship shared between you has blossomed into something passionate and raw; full of emotion. No puppy love but special and mature. You hate to engage with people but with Taeyong around, there is a line that connects the two of you like two star-crossed lovers destined and made for each other.

His smile never fails to cast positivity in your life, and hell you know, that you wanted to be a reason for those smiles as well. But how can you do it, when you were the reason why it won’t happen anymore?

You know you are just scared of letting him inside your life and then one moment, he’ll leave. His departure has deeply wounded and scarred you to the point that you don’t want it to happen anymore. This has always been a part of commitment, that obstacles are being thrown towards your way. But the more you think of it, the more selfish and worse you felt. He did support you all the time, especially when you mentioned to him two years ago that you wanted to go abroad for an internship or those times when he is determined to keep you on track despite his body failing because of the strenuous training he’s being shoved under. But when it was his time to go, instead of supporting him all the way, you eventually closed everything around you, even tried so hard to tell it without hurting you. That made you feel like shit.

You try to diminish everything and try to focus on your classes but you constantly find yourself thinking about those titanium hair and passionate eyes. His kisses and burning touches. You stare at the pile of schoolworks stacked neatly at your table, waiting for your whole undivided attention. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to focus, not with that growing lump of sadness clogging on your throat.

It’s impossible to wave everything off like nothing of this ever happened, that Taeyong was just another episode in your life. But he wasn’t just someone that is a passerby, he’s engraved to your memory, and he’s that memory you wish to remember till death.

It hurts to see his face into pain.

Lee Taeyong is the man that you’ve ever wished for. He loves without boundaries, without limits, without judgement. He’ll love you with all his might, disregarding all those flaws that you keep. He’s pretty with his soul so bright and pure. He’s like a rose in this dead garden that shines in his very own way. Bright red, full of determination, power and beauty. He’s so kind like the angel Gabriel. He was a dream come true for you, ethereal like a daydream, the love of your life that you pushed away because you were being such a coward.

A throb in your chest escapes when you see the crumpled paper discarded near the door. His neat handwriting comes to your view.

I just read the Notebook by Nicholas Sparks and saw this passage;

“I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”

I love you with all my entirety, I know I have fucked up, but I am willing to do everything for you, just to be with you, forever.

He just loves you and you were doubting everything.

“Good thing I didn’t throw that paper away.”

You immediately spin around your heel and see Doyoung plopping himself comfortably on the sofa.

“I’m still mad at what you’ve done.”

“I know, but if it wasn't for that show, you’ll never be as sure as you are now.”

“You’re bullshit.”

“I’m just helping you,” he clears his throat. “Now, tell me more.”

“No, until you tell why you did that stupid thing.”

He sighs. “It’s an eye opener for people in denial like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you heard Taeyong, you immediately pushed me away and chased after him… Why? Because you don’t want to see him get hurt because of a stupid and childish act.”

You didn’t answer.

“Now tell me more.”

You sigh again and close your eyes. Doyoung watches you patiently. “Doyoung, tell me, am I dumb for feeling this way? Afraid that he’ll leave me again because of boxing and selfish because I am just looking out for myself?”

“First of all, you are not dumb, academically could be, but no, you’re not. You see, whenever we feel fear, that just means that we love that person so much we are afraid to lose them. And don’t invalidate everything just because you are looking out for yourself.”

He continues on, “I know that the separation of you two were messed up and rushed because Taeyong had to train more and you cannot decipher the fact that he has to leave. And now that he’s back, you just don’t want to feel the same old misery you had to endure these years. But trust me, he feels the same way as you do. In fact, much worse because he chose boxing over you. But it's part of life and love, sacrifices happen and it makes the bond between the two stronger.”

“What do I do?”

“You see, you keep on returning back to your past, that it might happen again and again. Forget those, it's in the past, what is important is the present and that is what you should focus on. Feelings are really hard to keep up with. We’re humans, vulnerable. But I know that he really loves you.”

“I do, too.”

“Then, you should talk it out to him. Don’t rush things and take lithe steps.”

He approaches your figure and pulls you into an embrace. You feel your eyes burning with tears when he whispers, “If two people are meant to be together, they’ll eventually find their way back, and this is it, y/n.”

“What if he misunderstood?”

“He won’t. Trust me, he is my friend too.”

You feel a sense of comfort even if it's just a fraction of time. His words echoing around your mind, “If two people are meant to be together, they’ll eventually find their way back, and this is it, y/n.”

You find yourself dropping by their boxing gym. Taeil approaches you figure, awkwardly leaning against the door, kinda conflicted if you should set foot in the gym or not.

“Hey,” he greets. His face is quite pale with the notable dark bags under his eyes, he looks really dishevelled.

You bow your head, “Hey Taeil, what’s up?”

“Tired.”

“Oh, it's that so?”

“But he’s pretty messed up among all of us.”

He knows.

You can hear the disgruntled grunts and strong punches from the farthest side of the room.

You let out a sigh, “Why is that?”

“You see, he’s been really expectant of this match but he was notified at the last minute that it was cancelled because his opponent was tested positive for using peds which is illegal,” he trails. “I think it made him upset given the fact that we have done extreme preparations and he was obliged to undergo a mandatory drug test when he hated doing it in the first place.”

You find yourself being stupefied, not knowing what to answer. “I’m sorry--”

You are interrupted midway when you hear constant shouts and punches.

“It was found out that the contract of sponsorship was a fraud and used as a bait for us to bite on. He was really enraged.” Taeil clears his throat, “Now he’s been grilled by the trainers because there’s a big dip in his usual powerful performance. There was never a problem especially in training but his performance just escalated down and I really don't know how to help him either, I think he's really unmotivated.”

You feel really guilty because you were also the reason for his sudden drop in performance.

You call out to Taeil and hand him the pink card, “Can you please pass this to him?”

Taeyong stumbles in the locker room after the hellish training, he grips on the metal bars tightly to support his body. He feels like his body is collapsing with his legs wobbling and his arms tired, without the power to hold anything in his command. The bright pink card that is clipped haphazardly on his jacket caught his attention, he stretched out his arm and he elicited a sharp gasp when he felt the sudden jolt of pain rising up to his shoulders. The contents of the card surprised him, your baby picture that’s his favorite and the neat calligraphy of a book passage that had his eyes damp with tears.

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday-- Noah”

I have also read the Notebook and all I could say is I can’t stop thinking about you. Everything could be hard but I am more than willing to dive, to walk into a path full of thorns with you. I was really afraid to see you walk out of that door, and it came to my realization that I’d rather have you go away temporarily, to chase on your dream rather than losing you forever. Chase your dream and I’ll chase mine, and we’ll still find each other’s arms. I will support you always, rose. I love you so much.

You find yourself in the boxing gym again, awkward as fuck.

The rambunctious rambles of Taeyong’s teammates piques up his ears yet he doesn't pay attention to it because he knows it’s useless. He quietly wraps the white bandages around his wrist and his fingers. His muscles are still aching with the aftermath of the afternoon grilling yesterday but he needs to practice more despite everything fucking him up.

Taiel shouts out, “Taeyong!”

He snaps, “What?!”

But the sight of your figure at the door deeply surprised him. You look like you’ve been contemplating for a good minute whether you should enter the gym or just cling out at the door. Ah, he knows. You hated talks and people so much and it shows.

It’s been days since you have last seen him, he’s still beautiful as ever. But you can see the dark shadow that casts underneath his eyes. There were lines here and there that could be caused by stress and fatigue. His jaw is much sharper than before. His eyes were unreadable, deep and smoldering.

He hoists and climbs out of the ropes and out of the ring to approach you. You can see yourself eyeing his figure intently but you rest your gaze at his strong and unyielding stare down to those pretty lips.

He breathes, “Hey.”

It was just a faint call yet it feels like you’ve been floating around in cloud nine. You fidget against the wall and Taeyong notices. You wanted to tell him more, everything, yet you are confined in your very own space, with fear clogging out your throat.

You settle with calling his name, your lips quivering, “Taeyong.”

Taeil immediately shushes the other boys that have plains on eavesdropping on the drama unfolding. The marches out towards the connected unit with exasperated groans leaving their lips. Now it’s just you and him again. With everything untouched and quiet. The space around you is basking into that awkward pace just like the first encounter. Your heart ricochets off against your chest that indicates a quiet plea that snaps you out of what you should do. Here goes nothing, you should talk it out to him.

You try to divert your attention from the erratic beating of your heart to the boy who’s been looking at you with his dark eyes.

He begins, “How is your summer class?”It took you off guard, “It’s fine.”

You clear your throat and mumble the words, “I want to talk, please?”

He leans down with his brows furrowed together. “What? I didn’t get what you were trying to say…”

You sigh and yanked his tank top to plant a kiss on those rose colored lips of him. He misses your touch. He relaxes by the feeling of your touch. You were just enough to fill out the hole that has been empty throughout his heart.

You whisper, “I’m really sorry for being afraid… for holding back… I don’t have something intimate going on with Doyoung I swear, he just leaned in to slap me out of my reverie… With his acts I was able to make sure that you were the only one that I will ever love… I could never replace you with someone else because I love you so much… you are the only one that I will choose, forever.”

He closes his eyes and leans on your forehead. He was so afraid of losing you either. When he saw Doyoung that day, he really felt a sense of tugging in his heart. Fear that he couldn’t make up for all the things that he’d done. For leaving so soon. For leaving you. He misses you so much that he can’t find the energy to go on without you by his side.

He kisses you with all the power he could muster. With all earnestness. Peppering you with kisses, dusting every part of your face with all his might. He’s intoxicated with just your presence looming inside his systems. He leaves you breathless with every passionate kiss he leaves, leaving a trail of hotness that has been searing up into your body. You could almost feel that spark with just the ghost of his touch. This is what you want, with him by your side. How content you feel with him and those yearning suddenly disappears.

Taeyong cups your face, holding you with such care as if you’re the most delicate glass. Fragile. He stares at your eyes, searching into yours deeply until he could see how beautiful they really are, that holds the entire galaxy with them, sparkling and deep.

You grab his hands carefully, kissing his bruised hands that are like those flowers that your mother grows. Delphinium, that is casting a glow of pale blue and violet. It must’ve pained him to still train with his hands scarred.

He calls you out with the same old nickname for you that sends you to bits of fluttery. “Sweetheart... “ His voice is imbued with longing, his voice deep and soothing, contradicting yet lulling. “You don’t have to apologize. I will forgive you every time, because I love you so much.”

“I’m sorry for being like this, still trapped with the past…”

He shushes you with his finger. “Hey, let’s forget everything in the past and focus on what we have here in the present.”

You smile, “Present.”

Taeyong finds himself being lost for words yet he seizes this opportunity to hold you closer to his. He loves you dearly and admires your beauty. Your entirety. He loves you for being you. That is all about simplicity with your skin glowing, so it was your inner beauty that not only lit up your soft features but Taeyong’s eyes as well. When he sees you smile and laugh, he couldn't help but smile along too, even if it was just on the inside. To be in your company was to feel that he too was someone, that you had been warmed in summer rays regardless of the season.

“Stop staring.”

He laughs, “Why not? I miss you.”

“Your coach might scold me for interfering with your training.”

He rolls his eyes, “The match was cancelled, anyways. Let him be mad, I don’t care.”

You grin, “You’re impossible.”

He leans in again for a kiss. It’s not just a peck but one steeped in a passion that ignites. It is the promise of realness, of the primal desire that glows in your chest.

He kisses up and down your neck. You let out little whimpers of anticipation while he works his way back to your tender, smooth lips.

He breathes out your name, “y/n…” caressing your face gingerly, brushing away those strands of hair away from your eyes, “Did you know I was really happy to see that letter from you?”

“Why?”

“Because you called me rose that you only did when you felt like it.”

You laugh at his confession, “Why?”

“I just felt happy that you finally addressed me by that name.”

You give him a smile while caressing his cheeks soothingly. His expression is a mixture of endearment and loving, with his smile that is so blinding with beauty.

He continues, “I could still remember that very last time you called me that and I thought I will never get those endearments from you. Rose is the name out of all that I can help but to smile whenever I hear someone say it.”

“It’s actually weird to call you that.”

“But it’s fucking unique and I will aways remember you whenever I hear the word rose.”

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you… You’re someone so kind and pure that brings up the beauty even in the smallest things and God… what will I ever do without you in my life?”

“We are always meant to be together even though Doyoung’s plan on bringing our paths together fails.”

You cross your brows, “How did you know that?”

He grins cheekily, “He told me.” That snitch.

The conclusions are starting to form inside your head like whirlpools. You point out an accusatory finger towards him, your eyes wide, “So you know?”

He smirks and kisses you again. “Yes, but it just feels good to hear those words coming out of you.”

“You drama king!”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Out of seven billion, I will always choose you.”

Those words prompt another fond smile to play on your lips, one so tight it hurts your cheeks.

You hear a roar, “Lee Taeyong! Back to the ring!”

You could see his manager fuming but when he sees your figure being concealed by Taeyong’s body he immediately scurries back and grunts out incoherent profanities.

You snatch his top to lean for a peck then pushing him away, “Go, before you get grilled for--”

“For what? Being sexy?”

“You have an non-existent ass, Taeyong.”

He just smiles at your comeback. And he could just feel the air knocking out of his fucking chest. God, what is life if it wasn’t you with his side like this? He’s a lovefool, only for you.

He begins, “You know I hated books but…” his eyes are now soft and deep, earthy brown - the color of the earth after torrential rains. A smile tugging on the ends of his lips, “You are, and always have been, my dream.”

You recognize those quotes from Nicholas Sparks.

You smile too, “You are and will ever be the love of my life, Taeyong.”

SMUT (SKIP IF UNCOMFORTABLE)

You can still remember the first time that you felt extreme happiness, that is when you have been given the plush toy you have been dreaming off by your dad. That was memorable, then the second one that gave you light was Taeyong. He brings the extreme feeling of euphoria just by the ghosts of his lips. From the very start, you wanted to drown yourself with the boy who’s laced with elegance and sweetness that is Lee Taeyong.

You didn’t know how Taeyong was able to spare himself out of his training sessions and his fuming coach. But what is important is that after he runs towards your direction, carelessly yanking out his bag, he reconnected his lips to yours, peppering your whole face down to marking your neck as his. You both don’t stop feeling each other until you are both forced out by Taeil.

Taeyong’s vein is filled with adrenaline and the wild drive of lust. He carelessly drives down his apartment, skipping three traffic lights, at this moment he couldn’t bring himself to care about traffic rules, he wanted you the soon, the better. The both of you stumbles down the hallway, bodies waltzing while trying to fit in the door of his unit.

His fingers were grazing your scalp slightly tugging on your locks to provide him more access to deepen the kiss. His other hand is roaming around you, exploring every bit of your curvature that you always hide. He grips on your hips hard then slammed you on the nearest wall he could find. Taeyong pushes his pelvis onto you, deeper while torturing you by biting down on your lower lip. You let out a quiet moan that urges him to do more, grinding against your pants that sends a surge of swirling sparks in your belly and wetness that pools between your thighs.

You’re his drug that drives him into madness.

He couldn't contain himself any further as excitement pools inside his system, his eyes burning with desire with the sight of you caged between his arms. He gives you a look while he touches the hem of your shirt, silently asking for your approval. You nodded and it was enough for him to shake while trying to work out and remove you from the garment that covers your beauty. He inwardly let out a low groan upon the sight of your breast cupped perfectly by the lacy bra.

Your faces immediately flush at his intense gaze, but he immediately leans in to plant a quick peck on your lips, smiling throughout. “You are perfect. God.”

He traces with his lithe fingers starting from your hands upward to your shoulders. You can almost see how he occasionally steals a glance at you with his hooded eyes. His gaze is so heavy and hungry as if you’re a pool of crystal water and he’s a man with an exorbitant thirst, that he cannot longer wait to devour you with all his might. He proves his ardent hunger by cupping your cheeks and attacking your now swollen lips, then tilting your head slightly on the left to press his lips onto the delicate skin of your neck, his teeths grazing and biting down, leaving you angry red marks. He wasn’t feeling enough, he titles your head more, providing him more access to the sweet spot that is on the arch of your collarbones, sucking and marking until you are desperately crying for more.

You let out an airy laugh, “Is this what you are planning along all this time?”

He answers you with a breathy answer, “Fuck, yes.” He towers over your figure while grinding more onto you, the friction making him bite down his moans and hard with every fraction of time passing by. “You’re the only one I plan on doing this with.”

He pulls away and finally assists you while undressing. To him, you are the most perfect, with your skin glistening with sensual sweat. Taeyong’s eyes were drawn down to the red marks that caressed its way down to your neck, reaching to just below your collarbones. Taeyong always told himself that goddesses were real and he was sure that you’re one of them. You’re a masterpiece that he will always hold with such delicateness.

He pushes your figure down onto his silk sheets. You can feel the cold contact against your flushed skin while Taeyong hovers onto your figure attacking every part of you that his lips could. He sucks onto your neck until those marks turn with a deep chase of purple and blue. You buck your hips against him, firmly to feel him, until you could squeeze out a reaction from him.

Taeyong groans slowly which pushes you more to roll your hips against him. The instinctive reaction of Taeyong was to bite down on your neck a little more harder which earns a sharp gasp from you. There is a rising flame bubbling inside of your abdomen. Two amorous lovers binded by love and lust. He gives out a quick yet quiet apology while returning into his business on marking every spot he sees no shade of lilac or blue. You try to grind onto him shamelessly, again, teasing to test out his patience, yet he already has his hands holding you down to place with his nails digging deep into your hips. You could almost feel his raging boner resting against the flesh of your inner thighs, throbbing.

Swatting away his grip, you immediately sit up to undress him up. Your hands run along his skin, clever, skilled, determined as you stripped off the tank top that clings onto his wrists. The flash of passion, the fury of need that darkens your eyes with a sense of decadent power as the man you really love is sitting before you, almost as naked as you.

In mindless, liberated pleasure, you shove out his gym shorts.

Taeyong’s eyes glimmered in the weak light of his room, as he forced the gym shorts out of him and flung it aside. “You’re driving me insane.”

“I could say that too.”

His mouth begins feasting onto your flesh again, his greedy hands racing over your quivering body in ruthless exploration that got you breathless. Heat pumps throughout your veins; feeling soft and warm, melting into Taeyong’s touch, like one's body.

You let out a gasp when you feel Taeyong’s palm cupping your breasts. His other sinful fingers move against your surging wet heat, relentlessly driving you up to insanity, the need to release is clawing viciously inside your body. Your pussy throbbing with his fingers encircling with your clit in a torturous manner.

Taeyong breathes, “Look at me,” when he sees your eyes fluttering shut. “It’s just you and me. Just us, like always.”

“Always.” The shadows dance around the both of you. Shifting while both of your fingers stroked. The sensation builds after the other, your body trembles, shuddering layers, then it halts when he suddenly withdraws himself letting you on the edge of frustration and want.

“Fuck, Taeyong!”

“God, I can eat you out, alive.”

You breathe, “I could… let you.”

With the expert flick of his hands, he had your pants tugged down along with your panties with a low grunt. Your eyes both lock in a brief second, all smoldering and swimming with intense lust. He clicks his tongue while playfully flicking off your bra.

His hands, as you could note, are kinda calloused, rubbing at your inner thighs and then spreads them widely while exploring a bit of your body. The power of his caress is influenced by boxing that is tantalizing and arousing, his fingertips pressing onto the delicate part of your skin, wandering underneath to give you behind a gentle yet strong cup.

He leans in again to leave out open mouthed kisses on your bare chest. The air around thickens, your breath snagged in your lungs. Your back arches as he takes your breast in his mouth, sucking, teeth scraping erotically over your aching nipple. Then, trailing down to your inner thighs to leave small kisses here and there, then he’ll suck. You writhe against the small exquisite pain, sobbing his name, the wet pulse between your legs is pounding with intense need.

Taeyong dips his head in between your legs, licking the hot, slick, and thick liquid that is dripping from your folds. You immediately let out a moan. He holds you in place, while he relishes on your juices while you suffer at his doings. The vibration whenever he let out a satisfied groan leaves out a tingling sensation to your clit. His tongue finally reaches out to encircle you wanting clit. Waves of ecstasy washes over you, crying out loud at the feeling of sharp sensation of pleasure flowing right at your veins. You try to reach out to anything your hands could get, grip on. You settle for his titanium hair.

“You’re so sweet.”

Whenever he speaks it grazes slightly on the nubs of your walls, which made you arch your back in pleasure. He continues on licking your juices, until he slides a digit in taking you completely by surprise. With his long, slender fingers inside you, the feeling is exceptional, delirious.

He slides his finger in, your folds welcoming him as it grazes and envelops every time he slides another finger. His thumb continues on playing with your clit which his fingers fucks you, knuckle deep without mercy. You immediately cry out in pleasure.

He pumps in a fast pace that has your legs trembling. Your sex is throbbing at his merciless pounding while reaching out to poke out your sweet spots, clenching around his fingers and soaking with your juices. You can feel yourself coming again, as he quicken his pace, you bite down on your lips to ride out the pleasure you are feeling. His thumb busy with your clit and his fingers pumping in and out of you.

“I’m coming. F-fuck, Taeyong. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“You like that huh?”

“God, y-yes.”

You can feel the hot liquid dripping between your legs. God, your core is still throbbing at the aftermath of his finger fucking, and you still want more.

“Fuck me Taeyong. F-fuck me hard.”

He immediately scrambles to his feet upon your request. Removing his boxers, you could see his dick, with a searing red tip oozing with precum. You are really aroused at the sight of him wrapping his hands around his dick, giving it quick strokes.

“Open for me, sweetheart.”

You did as he mounted you, crushing his mouth into yours as he thrust his dick into you. A sob of pure and overwhelming pleasure eases up your throat. Your walls stretch with him inside. He eases himself, pushing his dick to the extent of your hot walls. Arching, you brought him deeper inside. Your hips move in desperate, greedy time, urging him on.

In that fleeting moment before you both plunged into the roaring darkness, you understood that there will be no room for another man in your mind, in your soul, in your heart. It will always be him, Lee Taeyong.

Taeyong reaches out to stroke a palm down your exquisite curves and hollows that drives him mad all night and day while he reaches his point. You take him well, with him cumming inside you. Both of your breathing are ragged. The weak light illuminating from Taeyong’s lampshade cast your silhouettes. When he leans to press a quick kiss on your lips, two grey shadows molded into one.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

hello, this eaten all the left energy in my body so i hope you guys love this one! :D

#neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct-writers #neohours #lee taeyong #lee taeyong imagines #nct127 #nct #nct u #nct fluff #nct smut #nct angst #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 one shot #boxer!au #boxer!taeyong #nct taeyong imagine

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perhapsthanatos · 3 years

Text

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

Text

Changes

Johnny x reader // SMUT, angst, fluff, virgin!reader Summary: Every single part of you changed when you met Johnny. He’s a sweet responsible man who takes care of you even though he’s completely aware that you can take care of yourself. Even so, you let him because he gives you warmth that you can’t give yourself. Word count: 3k Warnings: Virginity loss, swearing, explicit mature themes, virginity kink?, corruption Note: If some words were misplaced, I apologise in advance. Half assed proofread hehe I’ll edit tomorrow im so sleepy. If you read already, Im sending you love. And thanks for putting up with shit hihi

You remember being a good daughter during high school. How you manage to have a high GPA just so you could make your parents proud and go to a nice college.

And when you got in to your dream college, you remember doing everything right during your those four years. Studied harder than ever and almost broke your back from staying up in front of your computer to finish your thesis. It was always about doing the right thing, staying on track, keeping out from trouble, always so sure what to do next after accomplishing the another. Until you met Johnny. It was the first time you felt so dumb and stupidly in love.

“Baby its not even in yet” you were sure that Johnny’s cock was inside already because the stretch hurts. It hurts so bad you can’t breath properly. “It fucking hurts.”

Johnny let out a giggle, kissing your breast while being half inside you, “Baby it supposed to hurt you’re a virgin” he’s clearly enjoying teasing you underneath him and savouring the tightness of your pussy for the first time. “My virgin” kissing you a little too sweet and soft even though he’s cock is making your eyes teary. He pushes in again slowly with your consent and fucks you slow, then fast when he sees you relaxing already.

“Johnny wait - it really fucking hurts baby” you pant asking for more time. “Okay okay, Im going slow again, sorry. I thought-“ and he fucks you slowly again, kissing your neck and collarbones.

When the pain was gone, Johnny feels good inside you. You let a string of curses, kissing and bitting him almost covering his face with spit. With a steady and deep pace you were slowly getting why people love having sex. “Still hurting?” Johnny already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from you. “Not anymore? Hmm. My virgin girlfriend?” you hum at the pet name he calls you. What a weird thing to call you, you thought. But you love it.

Drowned by lust and pleasure, you didn’t notice Johnny was picking up his pace. He’s to experienced for a virgin like you. The both of you can only groan and moan from the feeling you give each other. Exchanging kisses and bites to show affection and appreciation.

“Ugh you’re almost there now aren’t you?” Johnny asked in between fucking you faster than before but not enough to wreck you. “Feels good now yeah?” he grabs you legs and puts it closer to your chest for a new angle.

“Baby - You fuck good” you gulp, trying to help yourself speak while he fucks you with the new angle. “Is this what I’m missing for months now?” and theres Johnny’s smirk again

“Im afraid so baby, Im afraid so”

You whine when he slowed down his pace. “Do you mind if I play a bit?” you didn’t gave him an answer but Johnny proceeds anyway. He knew you’re at the edge already and being the experienced one between the two of you, he wants to have fun and make the best out of this moment. Unexpectedly you earned long and hard stripes of lick on your cunt that made you closed your eyes shut and yell at him.

Johnny is so amused seeing you so fucked up for the first time. Without a warning he pushes inside you again and fucks you with the same pace as earlier. He noticed your eyebrows furrow and your lips parted letting out sounds so sweet for him.

“I think I found you sweet spot baby” you couldn’t agree more.

“Am I fucking you good huh? Am I fucking you right?” only gasps and moans comes out from your mouth.

“You have to show me baby. You have to cum” but that’s the problem, you knew you have this weird feeling in your abdomen that you somehow can’t let go off. Finally having the strength to talk back, latching on his arms and moving you head from side to side, “I’m trying to let go baby - fuck give me time” but being the dominant that he says he is, Johnny is losing patience and you don’t know what to do. “Aren’t I fucking you good? Why aren’t you cuming yet huh?”

And just as you though the knotting in your abdomen couldn’t get worse, it did. But this time you knew what you want. “Fuck baby! More” to your surprise, he didn’t fucked you faster but he fucked you harder instead. You didn’t know it will give you the same satisfaction that you were craving for just seconds ago before he delivered hard thrusts. He felt your pussy clench and that’s enough for Johnny to make the both of you cum together.

“There you go. You like it rough huh okay I’ll do better next round” Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. You can feel his hips slapping on your skin and you finally felt that sweet release that he was asking for. You cum before him and he chased his orgasm by fucking you faster, he didn’t know that made you overstimulated. “You’re okay, sshh. You’re okay.”

He removes the condom and helped you come down your high. Massaging everything he can as a form of apology, “sorry for being rough” he kisses your shoulders and you encircled your arms around him.

“I got a boyfriend that can fuck that good?” forcing a smile trying to fight the exhaustion. Johnny blushed by your sudden compliment making his eyes small. When you pull him for a hug, his body is warm and sweaty but he surprisingly still smells good. That day you asked Johnny to keep on fucking you until you learn how to be confident on having sex with him. For you, Johnny was the prefect person to help you say goodbye to your innocence.

Every single part of you changed when you met Johnny. He’s a sweet responsible man who takes care of you even though he’s completely aware that you can take care of yourself. Even so, you let him because he gives you warmth that you can’t give yourself.

He completely changed your uptight personality and introduced you to thrills and excitement. You never felt so alive after giving up that perfect image of you that you try to maintain.

He made you crave for pleasure and lust that he’s willing to give as long as you let him love you unconditionally and you give the same in return. Of course you love Johnny. He taught you that love shouldn’t always be perfect and that it could be a lot more complicated sometimes. Which is true. You always thought love should be perfect and it’s always about marriage and having kids. And you want none of that. For the first time in your life you don’t want to follow the life your parents want you to have.

Johnny is balls deep in your pussy, panties to the side and fucking you good on the dinner table. The man couldn’t get his hands off of your perfect figure. The room is full of moans and the sound of the table rocking back and forth from Johnny’s thrusts.

“What if we get married?” Johnny blurted out.

That doesn’t sound right. “Ah!” still catching your breath gasping and wanting more but what you heard made your head dizzy. “Johnny, I need you to get off”

“What- why? What did I do?” you got down from the table grabbing your satin shorts on the floor, wearing it again. You see Johnny putting his cock back in his boxer briefs and putting his pants on. “Is it because of what I just said? Im sorry I didn’t mean to. Lets just forget about it okay?”

“The fact that you already considered it Johnny... you will continuously think about it then someday you’re going to ask me again and again” you crossed your arms and sat across the table.

“What?” he scoffed. “Didn’t you think that someday we will get married? Didn’t that crossed your mind! Isn’t that the goal? Isn’t that our goal!”

“Don’t shout. And no. Thats the last thing that I want. And see, thats what Ive been saying. Once you thought about the M word, you will never stop thinking about it ever again” there was a few minutes of silence, you knew you’re gonna tear up the moment you talk again. But he has to hear your part, he has the right to know what you want.

“Getting... “ your voice already cracked. “Having kids, settling down all of it. You don’t know how those things work Johnny, they’re suffocating. The weight of the responsibilities is unbearable”

“So you’re saying a life with me is something bad that will change your life completely” he wanted you to look at him but you can’t, “So what? Were just gonna fuck like teenagers until were 40? You sound like you’re going to leave me one day.”

“I don’t know. Its just… its not me Johnny”

“Or maybe you just don’t love me enough y/n” he pushed his hair back leaning on the table and staring you down with cold eyes, “clearly were not on the same page anymore.”

“Thats not true”

He doesn’t say a word. He gets his jacket and kissed you on your cheeks. You can’t watch him leave because it will hurt you so much. But when you heard your door close gently, suddenly you felt so weak and cold.

The next day you asked him to go grab breakfast with you before you two go to work. Not knowing how to fix this, you still tried to reach up to him. Maybe you just got lucky that he didn’t want to pry on what happened yesterday and everything seemed fine during breakfast. From there on Johnny stopped talking about what he wants to happen in the future. Not bringing up the M word again, he’s not asking you random baby names anymore, no more IKEA window shopping for your future shared apartment. And quite frankly you miss it. Without Johnny being hopeful like that, your relationship seems dull.

You try to bring the old him back by asking him to go IKEA shopping with you. He agreed but he was quiet the whole time. He just talks whenever you asked him something.

You caught him looking at this couple who was checking furnitures together, his eyes full of envy and you can see right through him.

When you got home, you placed the bags on top of the table and went straight to the bathroom to cry. Constantly blaming yourself for not wanting the same thing as Johnny wants and for ruining the relationship you have. You grabbed a towel from the basket and you bit it to filter your screams. If you thought he didn’t hear any of your sobs and screams, you’re wrong. He’s waiting for you on the other side of the door crying his eyes out too.

Knowing that he’s outside waiting for you, you tried forming your words and forcing yourself to speak. “B-baby, I just cant provide the things you want in life anymore. You’re hurt, Im hurt. And we cant fix it because we don’t want the same things anymore. I can’t force myself to marry you and have kids when I don’t want to. And You don’t have to stop wanting and dreaming to have a family just because I don’t want to. Johnny, I think this is where it ends” You told him he could leave you and there will be no hard feelings. The breakup was somehow peaceful, no screaming and yelling like what you thought it would be. Maybe you just love each other that much but it’s still not enough.

After breaking up with Johnny, you went back home and help your sister plan her wedding. Although the two of you has very different views when it comes to marriage, you loved seeing your sister happy and excited to be married. During the wedding your sister shared the news that she’s already seven weeks pregnant and you couldn’t be more happier and the day became even more eventful because of the little angel. That day, you saw your sister’s husband tear up while she was walking down the aisle. That day, you heard your sister’s husband shout “I’m going to be a father!” You can’t help but think about how happy Johnny must be if he become someone’s husband and how happy he could be when he finally become a father.

After months and months of waiting, you finally met the little angel. An angel that changed your life. You don’t know what happened to you but meeting the little angel changed your perception in life. Yours sister’s baby was a miracle to many people, you included. Seeing how happy your sister and her husband with the baby made you realise that bringing life into this world can give you genuine happiness. You loved your niece unconditionally, showered him with every love you could possibly give and turns out you’re good with kids.

Another wedding is bound to happen, a little rushed and unplanned but you do know the couple loved each other. You knew you could possibly ran into Johnny during the wedding and you did. He looked fine as always, almost made every bridesmaid craving for him.

“All right! calling all the single ladies, it’s time for bride to throw her bouquet”

You were sure you’re sitting far from the bride not bothering to even get up and participate. You were also sure that you will never going to catch it even if you made an effort. But somehow you wanted it to come to you, near enough and catch it with both arms for Johnny. And it did. It landed on your lap. You scoffed looking at the beautiful flowers, smelling it to make it less awkward.

When the party started, everyone was almost drunk enough to care whose wedding it is. Laughter and giggles everywhere. You were alone, enjoying a whole bottle of champagne all by yourself.

“Mind if you tell who’s the lucky guy?” not turning your head back to look, that voice is familiar enough for you to know who it is.

“So happy to see you here Johnny” instead of giving him a hug you gave him a toast. Looking at each other’s fingers. Johnny checks your finger for any sign of an engagement ring and you checking his fingers for a wedding ring.

None. You answered his question to make the situation less awkward, “Just got lucky” you let out a small giggle. “The bride pretty much threw it far. And it just so happens that I’m sitting far enough for it to land on my lap” you both laughed, happy that you’re able to see each other again. Happy to have the chance to see each other’s eyes again without tears in it.

“How about you? Who’s the lucky girl?” Johnny laughs and downed the remaining alcohol from his glass.

“Still you”

You didn’t expect him to be straightforward but you’re happy about it. That night Johnny brought you to his new apartment and you had sex on his couch, on his bedroom floor and on his bed. The next morning you were welcomed back to Johnny’s life again with all smiles, kisses and a lot of orgasms he almost ran out of condoms.

For the past couple of months you and Johnny were busy catching up with all the years you spent apart and slowly building a more established relationship. Your life couldn’t be more happier.

“Baby Im home. And Im tired” you heard him drop his keys at the table near the door, of course he made his way to the kitchen first. Feeling his arms encircled around your waist, “I’m almost done with making dinner” you gave him a kiss and he made his way to the living room. Then you heard him shout, you slowly put down the hot pot and hurried yourself to Johnny.

“Oh my gosh! Who are you?” Johnny is pointing at your sister’s baby crawling around in the living room, playing with his toys.

“Gosh you scared me. T-thats my sister’s baby. I need to babysit tonight hope you don’t mind”

“Oh! I don’t mind… Come here you little ball of sunshine, lets play” and Johnny came crawling around the living room trying to catch the energetic baby. You giggle at the sight of Johnny crawling around. He’s so tall and big.

“Johnny, I thought you’re tired…”

“Nope. Not anymore”

When you’re both in bed with the baby in between the two of you, Johnny cant stop looking after the kid, humming lullabies and patting his small legs making him sleep deeper.

“Johnny a lot of things changed when we were apart. I started to love kids and actually looking forward on having one someday” you looked at him, “or some…” you whispered carefully not to wake the sleeping angel. He chuckled lightly, pushing his hair back “I know” he whispered back. He pats his side of the bed, gesturing you to lay beside him. He puts a pillow next to the sleeping kid so he can still roll around the bed safely.

Johnny pulled you close to him, hovering his leg on yours. He feels warm as always. “For how long?” you asked out of curiosity. “since we got back together. You constantly talk about having our own house someday whenever we watch lifestyle network. And, you constantly ask me to fuck you raw” You were both trying not to laugh so hard cover each others mouths. Before you two close your eyes, Johnny told you he liked the idea of the two of you whispering “Whispering is good. Can’t wait to have more whispering moments with you.”

The next day your sister came in really early, Johnny was still sleeping. You told her how he took care of the baby and that he was the one who babysit the whole night playing and taking care of him. “tell Johnny I said thank you. And please, make your own baby” you can’t believe your sister just told you to have your own baby already. “Okay okay. Get out already before you wake him up. I love you, drive safe”

When you came back to the bed with Johnny, he kissed you good morning completely aware that the baby is already with your sister. “I’m gonna miss the little guy” eyes still closed he’s still whispering so you played along. “Well, we can always make our own little guy” and that woke Johnny up hovering you and showering you with wet kisses. He’s so heavy but you’d rather let him crush you than being away from him again.

“Just so you know I want three kids. Two boys one girl” he says with a big smile while drawing circles around your tummy. “You do realise thats three different educations…” he chuckled and showered your exposed tummy with kisses making you tickle and whine.

“I know, thats why were gonna save like crazy before having them” he finally kissed you on the lips.

“I like that plan Johnny Seo you sound even more sexier. Lets be sure everything is fine and settled when they enter this world”

“And completely change our lives” he can’t stop rubbing your tummy, “I love how we’re compromising now. I never want to yell at you ever again. Not now, not ever. Definitely not in front our children”

You catch his hand and interlock your fingers with his, “I never want that to happen too baby” Johnny came closer to you, kissing you deeply. “Baby why are we whispering?”

you feel his hands creep inside your shorts, teasing your clothed clit and you let out a soft moan, biting his lips. “I don’t know... practicing to be quiet maybe?” He chuckles in between kisses.

“You going to marry me now?”

“Yes Johnny, I will”

................................................. Masterlist

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct smut #nct johnny #johhny seo #nct fluff #nct angst #nctfic #nct scenarios #smut fic #smut #johnny seo smut #nct #kpop fic #nct imagines

504 notes · View notes

ppangjae · 4 years

Text

June 24 | Jaehyun

SUMMARY. Some share the same tattoos with their soulmate. Others have countdowns embedded in their skin, counting down the days left until they meet their soulmate. But you? You’ve stopped aging since you turned eighteen. You’re twenty-three now and on one fine day, fate decides to have you wake up and live that same day; the same 24 hours until you meet your soulmate.

GENRE. fluff + soulmate!au

soulmate!au prompts.

You stop aging until you meet your soulmate.

If you haven’t met your soulmate but came across each other on any given day, you must live that same day until you meet them.

WORD COUNT. 3.8k words

author’s note. hope you like this short soulmate!au! this was quick to write so if there are some errors, i’m sorry! i haven’t proofread this so please keep that in mind lmao. again, i hope you enjoy this!

“What’s your skincare routine? Your skin is so clear and young!”

“Do you workout everyday? You’re always in good shape.”

“Did you get plastic surgery? Botox, maybe?”

You’ve heard people ask you all of these questions and variations of them but you knew that they would never understand. You are just like everyone else. You live life normally and to the fullest. But there’s one thing that separates you from the rest.

You’ve stopped aging since you were eighteen. Just like your mother, you stopped aging at a given age because of your soulmate. Everyone on your mother’s side had witnessed and experienced this given destiny. When you meet your soulmate, you start aging.

You’re twenty-three now. A twenty-three year old that looks like an eighteen year old. There’s not much of a difference appearance wise. But you’ve always felt like a burden when all of your friends were finding their soulmates.

“Y/N, wake your ass up before you run late for work!”

You peep one eye open. As you shoot up from bed, you spot your roommate, Doyoung, standing at the doorway. He’s drying his wet hair with a towel as if he had just gotten out of the shower.

“Your hair is messy. It’s sticking out in all the wrong directions.” He adds and it makes your frown.

Wait. Your eyes squint with suspicion. He’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He’s said the same things yesterday. Doyoung—

“Make sure to stop by the bakery before coming home.” The both of you say in unison.

His lips form into a small ‘o’. He points at you. “You read my mind! We’re really destined to be roommates, huh?”

Before you could utter a reply, Doyoung is already heading back into his room to get ready for work. You run your fingers through you hair. Doyoung’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday. You knew exactly what he was going to tell you. As you start to scramble throughout your room, something on your desk catches your eye.

Your desk calendar. A soft gasp escapes your lips. Printed in large font, you read the date. It’s June 24th. Everything is starting to spin as you stare at the date. You slap your cheeks with your hands, glancing at your reflection in the full-body mirror.

You’re experiencing a time-loop.

As you step into the cafe, you’re greeted by your co-worker, Johnny. You smile, eyeing the clothes he’s wearing. White button up, dark skinny jeans, navy blue low-cut converse. He’s wearing the same clothes.

You wouldn’t guess what happened a few minutes ago, you say to yourself. Those are the words that will come out of Johnny’s mouth the moment he finishes serving a customer.

“You wouldn’t guess what happened a few minutes ago!” Johnny exclaims.

You feel your knees grow weak. Your suspicion has been confirmed for the third time. Doyoung’s clothes, the date on your calendar, Johnny’s conversation with you. Those all happened yesterday, but they’re happening again.

“W-What happened?” You stutter.

“The cutest puppy dropped by and the owner was just as cute,” he pouts.

He says it in a hushed tone and you raise an eyebrow. You ask, “Is she still here?”

He nods his head in her direction. You follow his gaze and it lands upon a woman having a nice cup of coffee. She reaches down to pet her dog. It’s a cute Pomeranian. You think you’re growing sick.

“Excuse me, I think I need to use the washroom.” You say, touching your forehead. Johnny looks at you with concern and you give him a reassuring smile.

As you step into the washroom, you lock the door and pull out your phone from your bag. It takes you two seconds to dial a phone number and a couple more for the call to be answered.

“Hello?”

“Dad.” You mumble. “H-How did you meet Mom?”

You hear him fall silent.

“Are you experiencing it right now? The time loop?” He asks and you lean against the wall for it’s holding you up and preventing you from falling to your knees.

“So you weren’t kidding,” you mumble. “The time loop is real.”

“Listen, sweetheart.” He says. “I had a feeling you were going to experience the time loop, but I didn’t think it would happen this early. You had just recently stopped aging, so I figured the time loop wouldn’t happen any sooner.”

“What do I do?” You question.

“Just let the days happen as they are. You’re going to have to live the same day until you meet your soulmate.” He explains. “It might take a week’s length for you to notice the small differences. Once you notice them, you’ll be able to find your soulmate.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” you laugh nervously.

“I know. But trust me, once it all happens, it will all make sense.” He reassures you. “What’s the date you’re stuck in?”

“June twenty-forth.”

Your father met your mother in the worst way possible. He wasn’t lucky enough to get tattoos of her first words or a countdown and neither was he lucky enough to see her in his dreams or have past-life memories of her. He met your mother through a time-loop. Everyone on his side found their soulmate by living through the same given day.

You have to live June 24th until you meet your soulmate for heavens knows how long. But once you meet your soulmate, you’ll finally start aging. It all came in full circle.

You just hope that you don’t get stuck living June 24th for the rest of your life.

He’s running late.

The day has been confusing and tiring. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed and he ran out of his mother’s side dishes. He even skipped breakfast. But there’s one thing he knows for sure and it’s the fact that the day has come. The day he’ll finally meet his soulmate.

This is his second time living June 24th. Everything has been the same. This is the second time he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. This is the second time he ran out of his mother’s side dishes. This is the second time he skipped breakfast.

But this is his first time running late for his work shift.

“Someone’s late.”

He catches his breath, looking at Donghyuck who’s putting on his apron. He grabs his apron from the rack and starts putting it on.

“How many orders do we have left?”

“Only two.” Donghyuck replies. “Other than that, I think it’ll be a quiet evening. We still have some pastries left on the shelf.”

Jaehyun glances at the shelves. Croissants, bagels, slices of bread and all the like. Jaehyun has been working at the bakery for four years. It’s been a side job mainly because his other job hasn’t been paying well enough. But he wouldn’t take his bakery job for granted, it was his favourite job.

“There was this pretty girl who picked up some croissants. She bought a lot.” Donghyuck says. “She bought the whole shelf.”

“The whole shelf?” Jaehyun asks in disbelief.

He hums in reply. “She looks pretty familiar too. I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere before.”

Before Jaehyun could say anything, the door opens and a customer enters the bakery. The two of them share a look before starting their evening work shift.

“I swear they put crack in their croissants.”

You chuckle, watching Doyoung munch on the croissants with amusement. The bakery was having their evening promotion where all of their pastries and baked goods were on a buy one get two free sale. You decided to treat Doyoung and get him his favourite croissants. It was an impulsive buy, for you bought the whole shelf.

“I like their strawberry cream cheese danishes more. They taste like strawberry shortcakes.” You mumble.

“They put crack in those too.” Doyoung says. “I know that first-hand.”

“Who’s the lucky girl this time?” You ask.

He laughs. “It’s not a girl. It’s actually a good friend of mine. His name’s Jaehyun. He always works at the bakery. He actually bakes all the good shit, especially those danishes that you like.”

“Jaehyun?” You purse your lips into a line. “I don’t think I’ve seen him.”

“You probably haven’t. You’re working at the cafe when he’s working at the bakery, so I’m sure you haven’t met him. You probably know Donghyuck.”

“I know Donghyuck.” You nod your head. “At least now I know the man who’s been baking those delicious danishes.”

“You guys should really meet, actually.” Doyoung smiles. “I think you’ll be great friends.”

That night, you sleep peacefully.

Your eyes flutter open. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and slowly get out of bed. Your calendar remains as June 24th. You sigh. It’s the third time. This is the third time you’re experiencing June 24th.

Your door swings open and you see Doyoung standing at the door, drying his wet hair with a towel.

“Oh,” Doyoung mumbles. “I was going to wake you up because—”

“Because I’m running late for work?” You ask and he looks at you confusedly, as if you read his mind. You didn’t read his mind, you just know how this day plays out. And it all starts with him waking you up before you run late for work.

“Yeah.” He says. “Your hair is messy. It’s sticking out in all the wrong directions.”

You sigh, fixing your hair. “I’m going to make a stop at the bakery shop before coming home. Alright?”

“You read my mind! We’re really destined to be roommates, huh?”

You think your head is starting to ache. Will this ever end? This is only the third time you’re experiencing June 24th again, and you’re already getting tired of it. What was taking your soulmate so long?

You skip looking at the calendar to confirm your suspicions because you already know what’s happening. Instead, you get ready and head out as fast as possible.

As you enter the cafe, you’re greeted by Johnny, as usual. You put your apron on and watch him finish serving a customer.

“You wouldn’t guess what happened a few minutes—”

“Let me guess,” you nod your head at the woman sitting at the booth with her Pomeranian puppy. “It’s the puppy and the pretty owner?”

His eyes widen. “How’d you know?”

“You tend to be really obvious when you find someone pretty.” You chuckle.

“Am I really?”

You smile. “Yeah, really.”

“Should I give her my number?” He muses.

“Why not? You never know until you try.” You insist.

Johnny’s scribbling his number down on a napkin and making his way towards the woman. You watch him with a wide smile. The woman looks up at him as he gives her the napkin with his number. You could see her cheeks flush a light tint of red and the two of them start chuckling. Johnny looks at you and subtly flashes you two thumbs up and you laugh. The two of them look cute together.

Maybe living June 24th over and over again wasn’t as bad as you thought.

“Jaehyun, do you mind helping me with the macarons?”

Jaehyun looks over his shoulder to see the head pastry chef, Taeyong, in the back of the kitchen. He spots Donghyuck entering into the bakery.

“You’re late.” Jaehyun says and Donghyuck smiles sheepishly. “Do you mind taking care of the cashier while I help Taeyong with the macarons?”

“Sure.” Donghyuck replies.

This is Jaehyun’s third time experiencing June 24th. He’s been changing up the day ever since realizing it. This time, he didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed nor did he run out of his mother’s side dishes. He ate breakfast this time too.

But this time, he decides to show up to work an hour early.

“Welcome to Taeyong’s Sweet Treats!” He heard Donghyuck greet the customer. He takes a quick look through the window to get a good look of the customer until—

“Jaehyun, you’re not supposed to pipe out the filling!”

He gasps, looking down at the baking tray to see that he is indeed piping out the filling instead of the batter. He looks at Taeyong apologetically. “Sorry, I was just—”

“Are you okay? You’ve been looking a bit off.” Taeyong asks concerningly. “You can always tell me anything.”

Jaehyun waves it off before chuckling. “It’s not like you would understand anyway. It’s pretty complicated.”

“Oh, girlfriend problems, huh?” Taeyong grins.

“No, nothing like that.” Jaehyun smiles. “Once I get over it, I’ll tell you exactly what happened.”

“I’ll be waiting for that day, Jaehyun.”

Oh, he’s waiting for that day too.

“There was this pretty girl who picked up some croissants. She bought a lot.” Donghyuck says as he enters into the kitchen. It seems as if he’s already finished serving the customer. He picks up a piping bag to help out. “She bought the whole shelf.”

“The whole shelf?” Jaehyun asks.

He hums in reply. “She looks pretty familiar too. I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere before.”

“You should’ve gotten her name.” Taeyong teases. “Maybe her number too.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “She’s not my type.”

“But you just said she looks pretty? You’re not interested in her?” Taeyong asks.

“She just looks like someone Jaehyun would be friends with.”

You wish you got the strawberry cream cheese danishes instead. You watch Doyoung eat up all the croissants in one sitting. A scoff is heard from you and Doyoung quirks an eyebrow.

“I bought the whole shelf for you because I figured you would have one croissant everyday.” You gesture towards the empty bag. “But you ate them all in one sitting.”

“I swear they put crack in their croissants.”

“I wish I got the danishes instead.” You fold your arms and pout.

“Say that to Jaehyun and he would be so happy.” He smiles. “He’d be on cloud nine hearing that.”

“You should introduce me to him.”

“You guys should really meet, actually.” Doyoung says. “I think you’ll be great friends.”

“Really?” He nods his head.

“Sometimes I feel bad for him, though.” He frowns.

“Why?”

“Because he hasn’t met his soulmate yet.” He explains. “He’s in a bit of a complicated situation.”

“Poor thing.” All of a sudden you feel sad. “Well, at least he didn’t stop aging because of his soulmate. Like me.”

“Oh, his is much worse.”

“How so?”

“He can’t see colour.” He answers. “He will see colour for the first time when he meets his soulmate. It’s his own curse.”

“I’m heading to work! I’ll drop by the bakery before coming home!”

Doyoung pokes his head through the door to his bedroom. He looks surprised. “Oh? I was just about to wake you up? But you’re already awake? And ready?”

“See you later!”

This is the fourth time you’re experiencing June 24th. You’ve been doing everything to change how June 24th plays out. This time, you decided to wake up earlier. This time, Doyoung doesn’t need to wake you up. But this time, you decided to meet Jaehyun. There was something about him that made you curious.

As you step into the cafe, you notice that the woman that Johnny finds pretty hasn’t arrived yet. He looks at you with eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You’re early.” He glances at his wrist watch. “You’re really early.”

“I decided to come in early.” You shrug your shoulders. “Is that bad?”

“No. Actually, you came just in time.” He beams at you. That is, until the door opens and heading towards the cashier desk is the woman.

You look up at Johnny who seems to be stuck in a trance. A smile spreads across your lips. You pat his back, making him snap out of it.

“Go shoot your shot. I’ll go refill the coffee bean container.” You insist, heading towards the other side of the counter.

Johnny’s scribbling his number down onto the woman’s coffee cup before preparing her drink. From the corner of your eye, you could see Johnny holding the cup with shaking hands. You chuckle. How adorable.

“You gave her your number?”

He nods. “She hasn’t noticed it yet.”

The both of watch the woman place her drink down onto the table as she takes a seat. She seems to notice Johnny’s handwriting on the cup and lifts the cup to get a closer look of it. She slowly turns towards Johnny’s direction and you quickly look away.

Johnny looks adorable when he’s nervous.

Jaehyun arrives right on time. Donghyuck arrives a couple of minutes later. Taeyong’s busy working on the macarons in the kitchen.

“Jaehyun, do you mind helping me with the macarons—”

“I think Donghyuck would love to help you out.” Jaehyun insists and he receives a death glare from him.

“I just got here.” He whines.

“Exactly. Now go help Taeyong with the macarons.”

Donghyuck sighs, grabbing his apron from the rack and heads to the back of the kitchen. Jaehyun taps his fingers against the countertop, waiting for a customer to serve.

Jaehyun wishes he saw colour. He’s always wondered what colour strawberries were. He was born with the inability to see colour, just like his father. He will finally see colour when he meets his soulmate. He hopes that it will be soon because he’s growing impatient of seeing the same shades of black and white.

His mother, however, met his father through a time loop. She experienced December 7th two times before meeting his father. Now, Jaehyun’s finally experiencing what his mother experienced. The time loop.

The door opens and right when he’s about to greet the customer, his breath hitches in his throat. Entering the bakery is the pretty woman Donghyuck keeps interacting with. Indeed, she is beautiful, but that’s not the first thing he notices.

The first thing he notices are the colours he’s finally seeing. He sees the pink walls, the red aprons, even the red strawberry cream cheese danishes. The beat of his heart speeds up and he can’t help but look at you. You glance at him and flash him a timid smile before heading straight to the strawberry cream danishes. You fill up a bag with all the croissants on the shelf, along with three danishes.

It’s like he can’t seem to find the right words to say. He feels so nervous with you in the same room. You look beautiful. You look perfect. You look perfect for him. You have a purple hair clip in your hair.

Purple might be his favourite colour. No. It is his favourite colour.

Whenever his mother spoke about how she felt when she first met his father, he was always curious about how he would feel when it happened to him. But at the time, he wasn’t able to feel what she had felt because he hasn’t experienced the time loop yet. But now, he understands and finally knows what his mother meant and felt.

“I’d like to pay for these,” you mumble, placing the bag in front of him.

“R-Right!” He stutters, punching in the cost of the pastries. “So you’re the one who always buys the croissants.”

You chuckle. Even your laugh is pretty, he notes. “The croissants aren’t for me. They’re for my roommate, actually. I really like the danishes. The danishes are my favourite.”

“Really? I’m glad to hear that.” He smiles. “I’m the one who makes the danishes.”

“Ah!” You exclaim. “You’re Jaehyun! Doyoung’s infamous friend!”

“Y-You know me?”

“I only know of you. Doyoung’s my roommate. He always talks about you and your danishes that I love.”

“Well, you know me now.” He laughs. It was nice to have a conversation that flows so easily. “And you are?”

“Y/N.” You smile and your phone starts ringing. You look at him apologetically before grabbing your phone. It’s Doyoung. “I should get going. Doyoung’s getting impatient. It seems like he wants the croissants now.”

“I won’t keep you for long,” Jaehyun smiles, giving you your change. “It was nice meeting you, Y/N.”

“It was nice meeting you too, Jaehyun.”

“I hope I can see you tomorrow.” He says and you stop in your tracks.

You slowly look up at him and you wish you could say the same thing to him. But you can’t. You’re going to wake up tomorrow realizing that it’s June 24th for the fifth time.

You feel uneasy.

“Me too.”

“Wake up, Y/N! You’re going to be late!”

Your shoot up from your bed. You feel slightly light-headed. Doyoung is standing at the door, brushing his teeth. You stare at him confusedly.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Get your lazy ass out of bed and get to work.”

“You’re brushing your teeth?”

Doyoung furrows his eyebrow in confusion. “Yeah, like how a normal person does every morning? Are you okay?”

Things don’t feel right. You scramble out of bed and stop in your tracks to look at your calendar. Your heart stops. You look at your reflection in the mirror.

It’s June 25th.

“Woah. Y/N, is that a gray hair?”

You continue to stare at yourself in the mirror. You look at your hair and indeed, you’ve grown yourself your first gray hair.

You’re aging.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost—”

“Well, fuck.” You say to yourself.

You’ve never gotten ready so fast in your entire life. In fact, you decided to call in sick. There’s only one person on your mind right now. As you’re heading out the door, you’re running down the street with a smile on your face. To others, you look like a fool. But to you, you feel like you’re on cloud nine.

The bakery is a couple of blocks away and you slow down to catch your breath. You can’t wait to see him. You can’t wait to tell your father that you’ve lived through the time loop. You can’t wait to tell your mother that you’ve finally grown your first gray hair. You can’t wait to—

“Y/N!”

You turn around to see him. Jaehyun. He’s jogging towards you. It’s all happening too fast, just like the beat of your heart.

“Jaehyun.” You smile, waiting for him to catch up to you.

Jaehyun is everything you imagined your soulmate to be. Someone who looks warm and genuine. Someone who has his heart on his sleeve. Someone lovable. Someone who would wait for someone special even if it would take a whole decade. Someone who makes your heart skip a beat.

He finally catches up to you. He’s standing right in front of you. The both of you have a mutual understanding of what’s going on. You both know that you’re soulmates and it’s the greatest feeling ever.

“It’s June twenty-fifth and I happened to see you.”

“I’m glad I did.” You chuckle. You feel shy under his gaze. “What’s your favourite colour?”

He feels his ears turn red. You giggle at the cute mannerism. He stares at the purple hair clip you have on and notices the gray hair tucked underneath it.

“Purple.”

#jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun blurbs #jung jaehyun #jung jaehyun scenarios #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #yoonoh scenarios #jung yoonoh scenarios #jung jaehyun blurbs #jung jaehyun fluff

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fruityutas · 4 years

Text

requested ~ no

haechan x reader

not proofread

genre ~ runaway!au, dystopian!au, fluffy angst

synopsis ~ when the government turns to shit, you only have your friends to rely on

note ~ heavily inspired by limitless rough mv, it’s literally my fav mv i love it so much

the warehouse felt emptier that usual when the boys went out. scavenging was a job they refused to let you and minji do. the past decade had been shitty, the government taking too much power had caused a revolution that resulted in this entire mess. no one was safe anymore, save for the one percenters and the politicians.

daily life changed overnight. you still remember the morning of your tenth birthday, your parents waking you up looking terrified, the sirens outside blaring, and the military patrolling the streets for anyone not abiding by the new curfew rules. it was scary for you at such a young age, not knowing if these moments with your family were your last.

the inevitable soon happened, though, and you got separated from your parents. they’d taken them away when you were around 12, and you’d managed to escape from them. you roamed around and hid in various places. one day you hid in an abandoned warehouse, unknowing of the group of guys that inhabited it. they found you balled up in a corner, fast asleep.

they waited until you woke up to pester you with questions, though the oldest, taeil, had stepped in and scolded them for scaring you. since then, they’d treated you with care. minji came to the group when you were 16, the small preteen begging for help. you were the one to spot her wandering outside, and you brought her in immediately. she said she didn’t know where her family was, being separated recently.

now you were 20, and the world was still shit. no clarity if things were ever going to get better, the group had stuck together this long waiting for some sign of restoration, to no avail. you were closest to haechan, since you were the same age. you always had each other’s backs and told the deepest secrets. over the years, you developed a crush on him. you never told anyone, not even minji. you were terrified of the awkwardness of possibly being rejected and having to still cohabitate with him.

“jesus christ, get the bandages. why can’t you listen to what i say, donghyuck?” johnny’s booming voice is heard coming in from scavenging. you race to the main room after hearing haechan’s real name. the group only used it when he was in trouble, so you knew something was wrong. “what happened?”

“haechan didn’t follow my directions and got shot at. i’m not sure how serious it is right now but i need the med kit.” minji runs to go get it while you sit next to haechan. “hyuck, what the fuck? why wouldn’t you listen to johnny?” though he was delirious from shock, he still managed to smile at you. “i saw a teddy bear that i thought you might like. had to get it.”

your face lights up at his comment. he really thought of you while out scavenging? “hyuck, why would you risk your life for a stuffed bear?” you feel his breathing slow and it causes you to panic. “haechan, stay awake ok? where did they shoot you?” he just sighs and grunts in pain. you look over his body for any signs of injury. “i got the medkit!” minji’s breathless voice penetrates the quiet air of the main room.

she rushes over and begins looking for the wound. “it’s on his side.” johnny states from above you. you both turn him over and find a huge bloodstain. “fuck, haechan.” the tears begin to pool in your eyes and you can’t stop shaking. minji tells you to just keep him awake instead of helping. “hyuckie you idiot.” he smiles at you, weaker than before.

“y/n i promise i’m ok, and even better look,” he pulls the bear from his jacket and hands it to you. “i got the bear!” you take it from him and hold it close. “god you make me happy, you goof.” he chuckles, albeit weakly. “please stay awake for me.” haechan links his pinky with yours, kissing it.

“i swear to stay awake. i can’t leave you before telling you how much i like you.” you freeze. did he just say that? “w-what? you like me?” he nods, gripping your hand harder. “lee donghyuck you fucker, i like you too.” minji’s frail voice cuts the cute moment. “y/n i need you to stop making his heart beat faster, he’s losing too much blood.”

“shit i’m sorry. haechan i need you to calm down. just think about something neutral please, i can’t lose you.” he groans in pain again, twisting in your arms. minji struggles to keep him from bleeding everywhere, all three of you are covered in blood at this point. “i’m losing him, i... i don’t think he’s gonna make it.” the sobs wrack your body, the reality of the situation settling in. haechan is getting pale and breaths shallow.

“hyuck please. please stay with us.” you squeeze his hand and don’t get a squeeze back. “y/n, i,” he takes a shaky breath before continuing. “can i get a kiss?” you nod through your tears. your lips lock and you taste the salty tears and dirt being mixed. you pull away and haechan smiles at you once more before going limp in your arms, his last breath used to give a goodbye to you.

#neowritingsnet #nshitty frathouse #neoturtles #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #haechan #haechan x reader #lee haechan #haechan scenarios

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merakiaes · 5 years

Text

Best Friend’s Brother - John Shelby

Pairing: John Shelby x reader

Requested: Yes.

Prompts: None.

Warnings/notes: This is pretty shit, I’ve been distracted today so sorry for that. The title is also shit, I couldn’t come up with anything else xD Hope you like it though! (NOT PROOFREAD)

Wordcount: 3437

Summary: You’re Ada’s best friend. After meeting her family and taking care of John and his kids for so long, he finally pops the big question.

The year was 1919 when you first met Ada Shelby.

She was twenty-two and pregnant with her first child, and you had recently turned twenty and just gotten your job as a midwife at the hospital.

The first time she came to visit you to check up on the baby, she was very grumpy and reserved. You could admit it frightened you a bit, as you were very well aware of who her family was.

But the second time she came by, she was in a better mood, and ended up opening up to you about the reasons for her foul spirits the first time around. And once you knew, you couldn’t bring yourself to blame her; you wouldn’t be happy either if you were stuck in between your one true love and your birthgiven family.

You were supposed to be strictly professional with all of your patients, but the two of you just clicked so quickly and so well once you actually got to talking that you couldn’t help but accept when she invited you out to a night out on the town the third time she came around.

You didn’t live far from Watery Lane, but still, you hadn’t ever been down that particular street. You weren’t really someone who widened your boundaries and explored. You were too careful.

And either way, you didn’t get much time to spare anyway, between work and taking care of the two boys you had taken in after the war. They were twin brothers, nine years of age and left parentless by the war.

Before the war, you had spent many days and nights babysitting them, and so you had when their mother had passed away in the influenza while their dad was away fighting.

You knew them and they were comfortable with you, which was why it was a given to take them in permanently when their dad never came back.

That night was the first one since you were eighteen that you had gone out on the town to have fun, having your neighbors – a couple in their fifties who lived with infertility and jumped at every chance they got to watch your boys – babysit for you.

Ada took you to the Garrison, really forcing you to go outside of your comfort zone. It took a while, but eventually you managed to let loose after getting a few drinks into your system.

The two of you were laughing and singing at the bar, entertaining pretty much the entire pub, when the Shelby brothers joined you after having dealt with some business.

To say they were shocked when they walked in and found their sister, who had never kept any female company in her life, singing at the top of her lungs with you at her side, was a big understatement.

You were introduced to them, and with the alcohol controlling your body, you were nowhere near your usual shyness, shaking their hands with a firm grip and enthusiastic smile.

Arthur, as the party-animal he was himself, loved you immediately, and Tommy was strangely fascinated by your kind nature. But John didn’t really care much.

Until the morning after when you came by the Shelby household with your two boys and ended up offering yourself to help his Katie clean up after she’s weed the bed so that he could head back into the betting shop.

After seeing you handle his kids, with such grace and so much kindness, having them calmer than he’d ever seen them before, he was sold.

There were countless of things he found attractive in women, but nothing could ever even compare to seeing you with his kids; that was the kind of sexy that could have any man whipped for the rest of his life.

And that’s just what happened.

You started babysitting his kids whenever he needed the extra help. He would drop them off at your house whenever Tommy had him running errands, and some mornings, you and the boys would even come by his house, where you would get his kids out of bed and feed them breakfast just so that he could get some extra sleep.

Only a few weeks after you’d met the entire family, you were adored to bits by each and every one of them.

Polly loved you for always helping John out, and for keeping her company whenever the boys were out on business. And Tommy and Arthur grew fiercely protective over you, even more so than they were Ada.

Ada was a Shelby and they knew that she could handle her own if it ever came to it, but you were just so innocent. Soft as a flower, just generally bright and bubbly with not even a smudge of darkness in your heart.

The amount of kindness you held in you often clouded your judgement. You always tried to see the good in people, which in Small Heath, could get you into a lot of trouble, hadn’t it been for the Peaky Blinders having your back.

But while Tommy and Arthur were protective over you, John was absolutely possessive. Not to your face of course; he would never, in a million years, want to give off the impression that he was trying to control you.

But if someone as much as mentioned your name with ill-meaning, his blade would be at their throat and their faces pushed into the mud in the next 0.01 seconds.

He heard you at the Garrison when you would talk to Ada about the perfect romance and your dream man, how you wanted him to have strong morals, a kind heart, be loyal and committed to a fault and not fool around with other women behind your back.

You didn’t have high demands, but for the male population in Birmingham? It was pretty much impossible to stay faithful, and that was why you had yet to find someone right for you, as most men were sleazebags that would jump at every opportunity to get their cocks sucked.

John tried with all his might to change himself to fit your standards. He stopped visiting the whorehouse, he stopped reciprocating the women who would try to seduce him at the pub, sending them into Arthur’s lap instead.

He had already had good manners towards women, but for you, he took it to an entirely different level, excessively opening doors for you, pulling out chairs whenever you would go to sit down, and asking you if you needed anything wherever you went, whatever you did.

He did everything he could to get you to notice him, and you did. You didn’t think much of the increase of politeness, being used to the Shelby brothers’ unusually good manners, but you did notice the way he was distancing himself from women.

But you never could’ve guessed it was because of you, you just guessed it was because he missed Martha, so you stepped back and didn’t mention it.

It had been a long day. You had been working a shift at the hospital between six in the morning and three in the afternoon, and then you had gone straight to the Shelby household where Polly was watching the boys.

You helped around for a bit before you had to take the boys home to get them ready for bed. You hadn’t seen John all day, but you didn’t dwell much on it, used to him being out on business.

But you also hadn’t seen Ada all day, which was strange.

You had just put the boys to sleep when there was a knock on your front door. Your head whipped around to the doorway of the kitchen at the sound of the door opening, and you instantly knew it was either Polly, Ada or Arthur, as they were the only ones who didn’t bother waiting for you to open the door.

And you were proven correct when Arthur stomped into the kitchen only a second later, hands tucked into the pockets of his pants.

“Evening, love.” He greeted as he approached you, kissing your cheeks upon reaching you like he always did.

You kissed his cheeks back with a wide smile, drying your wet hands on your apron meanwhile.

“Arthur.” You greeted back, smiling widely. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Ah, you know.” He shrugged, the corners of his eyes crinkled with a mischievous smile. “Just here to relieve you of your housewife duties for the evening.”

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion at that, even further so when he reached around your back to undo the string of your apron.

“Is that so?” You asked, watching with careful eyes as he carelessly threw the fabric to the kitchen bench. “And why would that be?”

He took no care to your distrusting stare, grabbing you by the shoulders and starting to steer you out of the kitchen and to the front door, where he grabbed your coat from the rack.

“Because,” He began, opening your coat and holding it up for you, the suspicious smile not once leaving his aged face. “Johnny boy is expecting you.”

Your squinting eyes instantly went back to their normal size at the sound of John’s name, and you wasted no time in starting to put your arms into the coat, but you were still puzzled.

“What could he possibly need help with at this hour? Are the kids running circles around him barefoot again?” You questioned with a sigh, hoping that wasn’t the case as John already had so much on his plate.

But luckily, Arthur shook his head. “Nah, the kids are over at Polly’s tonight. It’s just the two of ya. Now, no more questions. Don’t want to keep my little brother waiting, do we?”

You gave him a long look, trying to figure out why in the world he was looking so smug. He always did, on second thought, but never this much.

But nevertheless, you didn’t put up much of a fight, ready to come running at John’s every call like you had been for the past months.

You wordlessly stepped outside after Arthur had opened the door for you, sparing his satisfied face one more look, before beginning down the stairs and onto the street, hearing the front door slam shut behind you only a second later.

Your brain was running crazy with thoughts.

You had been there for John a lot during the short period of time you had known each other, helping him get the kids up and ready in the mornings, ready to go to bed in the evenings, and many times afterwards taking care of him, talking to him and being there for him when he mourned the man he had been before the war.

But this was well past the children’s bedtime, and you had never been called over this late, especially not when the kids weren’t even there. So to say you were confused was a huge understatement, and admittedly, it made you quite anxious.

But you guessed you’d see soon what this entire thing was about, as the walk to his house wasn’t very long.

You reached your destination in only five minutes, and didn’t even bother knocking on the front door before entering John’s home, only kicking your boots free of the mud while calling out.

“John?”

There was a bang from the lounge, followed by a curse, but when John didn’t come and greet you at the door, you rid yourself of your own coat and ventured into the house yourself.

Upon entering the lounge, you were surprised to find the room lit up by countless of candles, and a table full of delicious-looking food.

You were surprised, and confused, and even more so when John finally revealed himself, coming out from the kitchen with a bottle of wine in his hands.

His hair was pushed back neatly, almost looking as if it had been groomed that very same day, and the grey suit he was wearing looked a tad more expensive than the ones he usually wore, causing a lift of your eyebrow.

“What’s all this?” You smiled teasingly, walking closer to the set-up with slow steps. “What’s the occasion?”

A smile to match your own rose to his lips as he walked around the table, putting the bottle down and coming over to you.

“I wanted to do something special to show my appreciation.” He told you, gingerly grabbing your arms and starting to lead you towards the table. “For everything you’ve done for me and the kids. I just thought you deserved to be pampered too, for a change.”

Once you reached the table, he pulled out the chair for you to sit down on, making sure you were comfortable before walking around and sitting down on the opposite side.

“Well…” You chuckled, letting your eyes gaze at the food. “I know for certain you’re not the one who cooked, or else half of this would’ve been burnt.”

An effortless chuckle left his lips at that. “You know me well, don’t you?”

You couldn’t help but smile at the sweet sound, and you were incredibly lucky for the warm hue of the candles, or he would’ve for certain been able to see the blush tinting your entire face.

“Probably better than you know yourself.” You answered with a nervous laugh, looking around some more before looking up at him, only to find he was already looking at you.

And of course, that only made you blush harder.

“What are you staring at?” You asked, getting only a lovestruck smile in return.

“You.”

But in all your flustered glory, you didn’t catch the feelings behind his baby blues. “Why? Is there something on my face?”

You reached your hands up to your face, starting to feel around for an eyelash or something. Your actions drew a laugh from his lips, which only resulted in you getting even more flustered.

“No.” He shook his head. “There’s nothing on your face.”

You opened your mouth to ask if something was the matter, feeling anxious with how strange he was acting, but had to cut yourself short when he suddenly stood up.

Out of instinct, thinking he had just forgotten something from the kitchen, you instantly began standing up too. “Can I help with anything?”

John quickly shot you down, gently pushing you back into your seat by your shoulders and shaking his head. “No. For once in your life, don’t help and just sit down.”

He let out a small laugh, the sound causing your lips to tug into a smile, but quickly turned serious again, forcing you to become so, as well.

You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting to happen when he cleared his throat and started digging around in the inside pocket of his suit, but it sure as hell wasn’t what happened next.

From his pocket, he fished out a small, white velvet box. Your eyes grew wide at the sight, and you couldn’t stop your hands from going to your mouth in shock when he then proceeded to go down on one knee.

“I was supposed to save this ‘til after dinner, but I just can’t wait that long.” He told you, trying his hardest to catch your eye, but your eyes were stuck on the box in his hand. “I’m sorry if this is weird for you to hear, but I am in love with you. I have been for some time now, and I would be the happiest man alive if you would do me the utmost honor of letting me take you as my wife.”

He opened the box, and your entire body froze at the sight of the ring inside.

It was a silver ring, with a twisted band with tiny diamonds all the way around, and in the middle, a big Alexandrite stone, twinkling with the perfect mixture of purple and aqua blue.

It was absolutely beautiful and looked more expensive than everything you had ever owned all together.

“I…”

You could barely form words.

“No, wait. Just listen for a second, please.” He pleaded, almost desperately, scooting closer to you and taking one of your hands in his. “I know I’m older than you, and that you could get someone younger, someone more honorable and someone with a cleaner lifestyle. But I see you with my kids and I just… They see you as their mother, they love you. Seeing you in general makes my heart beat as if I was seventeen all over again, and seeing you with them makes me go crazy. I want you, need you- we need you in our lives, (Y/N). If you’ll have us.”

Finally, you were able to tear your wide eyes away from the stunning piece of jewelry to meet his.

You could feel the tears starting to build up. “John, I don’t-“

Panic instantly struck his face. “You don’t want to marry me?” He interrupted you before you could finish your sentence, and you instantly started shaking your head violently.

“No!” You protested. “I do! I do. I just… I’m a bit shocked is all.”

His disappointed face turned into one of hope. “You do want to marry me?”

“Of course.” You nodded, your face breaking into a smile so big it actually hurt your cheeks as you finally broke free of the shock. “Of course I do!”

A loud, relieved laugh left his lips and he wasted no time in standing up, taking you with him. He dropped your hand for a brief moment to be able to remove the ring from the box, closing it and putting it down on the table before picking your hand back up and slipping the ring onto your finger.

You let out a teary laugh at the feeling of the perfect fit, your entire body trembling with excitement, and before he could even think of make the first move you grabbed his face in your hands and pulled him down to crash your lips to his.

His hands came up to cradle your jaw and pull you even closer, while yours went to the back of his head, your entire body just curving into his.

When you broke apart again you were both breathing heavily, out of breath. Your foreheads leaned together and John let out a nervous laugh as he stared into your eyes. “I think that’s the most scared I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

You laughed, closing your eyes briefly before looking back into his. “I’m sorry.” You apologized in a whisper, smiling. “I just… I really didn’t expect this.”

“Why?” He wondered with a shake of his head. “I’ve been doing everything in my power to show how much I care for you, I thought you noticed.”

You snorted. “Of course I’ve noticed. I notice everything.” Your smile fell slightly, turning into one of compassion, your thumb rubbing at his cheek gingerly. “But I thought that was because you missed Martha.”

Much like yours had, his smile also simmered down into a smaller one, his eyes growing sad. “I do, and I’ll always love her.” He confirmed quietly. “But I’m not in love with her. Not anymore.”

You looked deeply into his eyes, showing him you understood, before the thought suddenly struck you.

“Does Ada know?”

She was your best friend, and you knew she would have both yours and John’s heads for not telling her about your feelings for one another. The reaction would, however, be a bit milder if John had asked her permission beforehand.

And luckily, he had.

“She’s the one who helped me pick out the ring.” He confessed, his eyes leaving yours to focus on your hand as he brought it up between you, his fingers running over the ring lightly.

“Of course.” You smiled, shaking your head. “I should have guessed.”

How else would he have known what your favourite gemstone was and what to look for?

“God, I love you.” He said suddenly, taking you slightly by surprise.

But you quickly regained your composure, smiling widely and putting your arms back around his neck.

“I love you, too.” You said. “And even though you might not think so yourself, you really are the most honorable man I’ve ever met, and I know for a certain that I will never meet anyone who will be able to top that.”

A bright smile overtook his boyish features and only a second later, you were pulled into another kiss, no more words being spoken. But you didn’t need to say anything else, the ring resting on your fingers saying it all.

Who would’ve thought you would end up with your best friend’s brother.

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder headcanon #John Shelby #john shelby imagine #john shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #thomas shelby #ada shelby #ada thorne #finn shelby #arthur shelby #polly gray #michael gray

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yeenybeanies · 4 years

Text

Starstruck

ok so aftermath was Kinda Dumb but i got to see johnny’s stupid face some more & i just reblogged a whole lotta gifs of him onto my main account lmao so here we are also i haven’t proofread this yet bc it’s 1am i’m tired

mortal kombat | johnny cage & gray brooks ( oc )

1,471 words

strong language warning

reblogs > likes !! thanks for reading !!

What can she say? She’s starstruck.

Well––she’s partially starstruck, and partially terrified. It’s not every day that Gray gets to see her favorite actor, the one and only Johnny Cage.

“ Woah. You’re . . . seriously tiny. ” His voice booms high above her, louder and richer in person that she’s ever heard it on the big screen. “ You’re, like, smaller-than-my-action-figure tiny. ”

Yeah. That’s where the terrified aspect comes in. Johnny Cage, of course, is human. And Miss Gray Brooks? She is a borrower. She is a grand four inches tall, staring, starstruck/terrified, at Johnny F. Cage. ( The F stands for Fucking. Or maybe it doesn’t. She doesn’t know what his middle name is, or if it even starts with F. )

“ Uhm–– . . .! ” Shit. She should probably run. Borrowers are supposed to run and hide when there are humans around. But her legs––they feel like jelly. They feel like jelly that’s cemented itself to the ground, feeling like they’re about to give out under her at any moment, while not letting her move from this very exposed spot on the floor.

For a long moment, neither of them, human nor borrower, move. Gray can’t hear anything but the blood roaring in her ears. Is she still breathing? Oh, Gods, she must be the worst borrower ever.

It’s Johnny that does eventually break his statue act first. He bends at the waist, looming over her diminutive person, and lowers his sunglasses to look at her without any barriers before his eyes.

“ Hunh. Y’know, if I didn’t just see you walking, I’d think you actually are an action figure. ” Whether it’s intentional or just a natural quirk of his, Johnny flashes a trademarked Johnny Cage Smirk. ( Gods, Gray thinks she might just swoon. ) “ You gonna say somethin’, sweetums? Can you even talk? ”

He lowers himself to a crouch and reaches forward, index finger extended. He means to poke. That’s enough to snap the little being from her stupor and skitter backwards. Johnny’s smile only widens.

“ See? I knew you were real. ” His hand retreats, coming to rest on the bend on his knee.

“ Y-yeah, I should, um––I should go . . .! ” She manages to squeak out. Perhaps later she’ll kick herself over how meek she sounds, but that will have to wait.

“ Hah! ” Gray flinches. He’s loud. “ Knew you could talk too! ” His outburst has Gray covering her ears and flinching. The starstruck-ness is quickly wearing off.

“ Mr. Cage . . . you’re yelling . . .! ” She takes another step back, hands pressed firmly to either side of her head. His voice is booming, shaking her very bones. ( Or maybe she’s just started shivering in her surging fright. )

“ Oh––shit, sorry, I––wait, you know my name? ” The human puts his hands to the floor, steps his legs out behind him, and lowers his chest and belly to the floor. With his chin resting atop his folded forearms, he’s only a few inches above Gray’s eye level, and close enough now that she can feel the gusts from each breath he takes.

He’s . . . so much bigger up close.

Gray couldn’t stifle her shaking if she tried. Oh, she should run. She really should run, but, under those big, brown eyes, she’s frozen yet again.

“ Aw, c’mon now. Don’t go quiet on me. You were just talking. ” He watches her expectantly. It’s reminiscent of a cat toying with a mouse––at least, that’s what comes to Gray’s mind.

“ Um . . . if I talk . . . will you let me go? ” Much like the rest of her body, her voice quivers. It’s rather pathetic, she thinks––yet another thing to berate herself over later. That’s assuming she sees a “ later. ”

Something looking like an epiphany crosses the human’s features. He clears his throat and shimmies back, giving Gray a bit more room. “ Well––yeah. I mean, I’m not gonna hold you hostage or anything. I’ve just never seen a–a living doll before. ” He lifts two fingers to gesture to her for emphasis.

Gray’s cheeks heat up. “ I’m––I’m not a doll. ” She swallows thickly, trying to choke down some of the fear. “ And, um, yes. I know your name. I’ve . . . seen a lot of your movies . . .. ”

“ Really? ” His grin widens, nearly splitting his face in two. Gray is experiencing a myriad of conflicting emotions right now. Terror? Embarrassment? Elation? Perhaps a little indignation at being called a doll? “ How? Are there, like, little TVs? “

“ No, I–I used to live in a, uh––in a movie theater, ” she admits, eyes askance. It’s hard to look Johnny in the eye at all, let alone meet his gaze when he’s ( still ) so close.

Gray was in that theater for years. It was one of the best places to live. She could scurry around in the darkness, collecting fallen scraps of popcorn, candy, and various other concession snacks. Best of all, she could catch every Johnny Cage film that came out during her residency––along with several re-showings of older films. It was a tragic day when that theater closed down, forcing the borrower to move elsewhere.

She’s loathe to admit to his face, but she’d found herself with a little ( or a rather sizeable ) crush on the human before her. Never in a thousand years did she ever think she’d actually meet him, though. Up close like this, he’s . . . well, he’s still handsome, but self preservation is hindering those giddy feelings.

“ Okay, so, I’m just coming up with more questions here. A teeny tiny person one: exists; two: is a fan of my movies; and three: managed to make it all the way onto a secure special forces base. I might think to accuse you of spying, but you’ve broken into the food stores, as opposed to anything with sensitive information. Never mind that you’re . . . I mean . . .. ”

She knows what he means. It brings some red to her cheeks. Yes, she’s small. She gets it. Gray fidgets with her hands and chews on the insides of her cheeks. “ Yeah . . . so, can I, uh, go now? ”

“ What? We haven’t even covered the basics yet! Like what are you? What’s your name? What was your favorite Johnny Cage movie? ” He looks less like a predatory cat now and more like a child that’s found a new toy. That’s a bit scarier, Gray decides.

“ Mr. Cage, I–I really should be leaving . . .. You’re not supposed to see me . . .. ” She tries to backpedal some more. Johnny shifts, head lifted and one hand moving towards her, but he stops himself when she squeaks and cowers.

“ Um. Hey, Thumbelina? No need to act so scared. Hey, c’mon, I’m not gonna hurt you. ” Gently he prods at her shoulder with his index finger, rocking her on her feet once. She shakes under his touch. “ Ooookay, ” he says, pulling his hand back again. “ Alright. I’m scaring you. Listen, you can go, and I won’t mention to anyone that I saw you on two conditions, okay? ”

Gray peeks up at him through her arms. His smile looks like it should be reassuring, but it definitely isn’t. Conditions means coercion.

“ Condition one: you tell me your name. Con––– ”

“ Gray. Gray Brooks, ” she interrupts. He can have her name. There’s nothing he can do with it anyway.

“ Alllright. That’s kinda a cool name. You sound like a hollywood star. ” He winks, though it does little to calm the borrower. “ Okay, condition two: you, little Miss Gray, have to promise me another conversation. ”

A what?

Gray feels her heart drop, feels her blood run cold. He’s blackmailing her into seeing him again?

She must really look scared, because Johnny quickly waves a placating hand. He clears his throat, the sound making her wince. “ Okay, okay––I’m not gonna tell anyone about you regardless. But . . . you can’t blame me for being curious. It’s not every day you meet a tiny person that watches your movies! C’mon, darlin’, how about you meet me here again tomorrow and I’ll crack open an MRE for us to munch on while we chat. ”

Food. Food is always a powerful persuasion tool.

Gray swallows, and nods awkwardly, if only to appease the human. Whether or not she intends to actually meet him here tomorrow, she’s not so sure. As of right now, it’s leaning towards a big NO.

“ Great! ” Johnny pushes up quickly, clapping his hands mid-pushup, and jumps to his feet. The combination of the rapid movement and the loud noise startle Gray enough to get her moving. She bolts, slipping under one of the food storage shelves and vanishing from his sight. Johnny blinks, a little taken aback by how quick she is, but he shrugs. “ See ya tomorrow then. ”

Maybe.

As his heavy footsteps retreat from the room, Gray slowly releases a breath she’d been holding. She bows her head, catching it in her hands.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could she let herself get caught like that?

But also . . ..

Holy shit, she just met JOHNNY F. CAGE.

#mortal kombat #g/t #g/t writing #g/t fiction #johnny cage #g/t mk #hyena writes #i'll proof it later

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sunflowerhae · 4 years

Note

She plays bass with jaehyun pls!! Also your music taste is *chefs kiss*

| 📣 > > ty! I quite like my music taste as well🥳😌 follow my spotify if u wanna see my playlists lmao (( @coolangelgwen - lowkey hate myself for this one but no regrets, right?!? )) I tried to make a more realistic conversation style, but idk how I feel abt it. Lemme know! Also~~ last thing, I promise - this isn’t proofread lol so sorry if it’s bad

Send in your own requests! 🧚🏻‍♀️🐮

“Hey, won't you call me back? ‘Cause I've been waiting for a text back. It hurts my brain - This chick who plays bass”

“Jesus Jaehyun, simp much?” Jaehyun reluctantly drew his line of sight from the unlit screen of his phone to the eyes of his best friend.

“What? No, what do you mean?” Johnny rolled his eyes and glanced around the coffee shop the two currently sat in, not focusing his attention on anything specific, before returning his gaze back on the hopeless romantic in front of him.

“I know you’re waiting for her to text you.” At the ~truthful~ words thrown across the table in humor, Jaehyun rolled his own eyes with a “psh” - trying to play off the fact that Johnny was unfortunately right.

“Her” was in fact Y/l/n Y/n, a girl he met at the NCT party that his frat held the previous night. Jaehyun didn’t usually enjoy or attend them, but he had a feeling (some unknown feeling) that he should maybe go to this one, so he found a calming spot in a corner, hunkered down with a beer and a bowl of chips, and prayed that the party would end soon. Friends came by and talked to him, girls came by to seduce him, but Jaehyun’s ass stayed firmly cushioned on his seat in that little, calming corner.

The corner just so happened to be near the food table, so people were coming and going; you were not privy to this fact. You - much like Jaehyun - didn’t usually attend these events. It wasn’t that you had anything against them, you just felt there were better ways to spend your nights. However, Haechan - your best friend - practically begged you to come, stating that,

“it’d be nice to have at least one other cool person there!” And when the younger boy used his pouting charms on you, you found yourself agreeing to his request.

It was lame, though. Haechan had been stuck like glue to you the whole night, prancing you around to his frat brothers and with the obnoxious, “see - I told you she was real!”, he enjoyed seeing the fire of joy ignite in his brothers eyes the more they got to know you. Haechan claimed it was because you were quite known on campus for being the cool, quiet skater girl with good fashion, and everyone who had a conversation with you came out better because of it. You would just respond that he was the Leslie to your Ann (which he would just laugh at, joking that he has scrapbooks of your friendship - thus scaring you more). What was lame, was the party. There was no reason or organization, which you didn’t really care about, you just hated the amount of people, thus lessening the amount of air flow. One glance at the food table that had basically no one by it, and you were telling hyuck you were going to get food and heading that way.

When Jaehyun first saw you, his mind immediately registered who you were. Y/n. The girl that skated through campus, and had dyed hair, and always had butterfly clips in. He had always wanted to meet you, but was never courageous enough to act on it. It was funny, girls practically killed for a conversation with him, yet the one girl he actually wanted, never even looked his way.

That was until now.

You turned your body out to the crowd and glanced around; eyes landing on the little, calming corner, and on the boy who was already looking straight at you. You knew him. Jaehyun. A lot of people liked him, but you specifically knew him as a member of this frat.

“Hi!” You smiled, and he looked surprised that you were even talking to him.

“Hey,” he waved back, “y/n, right?”

You moved closer to him, “yeah, Jaehyun, right? You know Haechan.”

“Oh, yeah I do. You know Haechan?”

“He’s my best friend.” You both nodded at this, but Jaehyun looked a bit surprised.

“Wow, how do you know Haechan? Aren’t you older?”

“I mean, yeah. How do you know I’m older?” You had a playful tone, which calmed Jaehyun’s nerves a bit.

“Oh, we have a class together. Environmental Impact on Civilization with Professor Cilinado?” Your eyes went wide, and even with the strobe lights going off, Jaehyun could see the blush that projected itself onto your cheeks.

“Shit, that’s right. Hi!” You both laughed, “um, I don’t know, Haechan just kind of came up to me once and started talking like we’ve known each other for years and I went along with it, and I guess the rest is history.” The memory of meeting your best friend made a smile cross onto your face, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but think you were beautiful.

“Yeah, that seems like him. Weird I’ve never met you, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t really come to this stuff.”

“Same, what do you like to do?”

“Um..listen to music, I like to play my bass, skate, I guess.”

“Wow, you play bass?” Jaehyun’s eyes went wide in surprise, and you laughed at his taken aback expression.

“Yeah, why, do I seem like someone who wouldn’t?” Jaehyun felt idiotic for once more saying something insensitive, but you, again, had a smile on your face.

“No! Yes? I’m not sure, it’s just always cool to hear that someone plays an instrument. And the bass is so cool.”

You start to respond, but turn your head instead at the sound of Haechan calling your name. “Well, can’t keep the devil waiting. Speaking of, if you want you can get my number from Haechan, text me!” Jaehyun eagerly nods, but you’re already walking away; your back turned around.

Johnny has to literally snap his fingers in front of Jaehyuns face to shake him from the memory of last night, and the moment Jaehyun saw Johnnys amused face, he knew he was caught.

“What’d I say - simp.”

“She plays bass, she plays bass. Nothing matters 'cause we're both in space”

Y/n (4:57pm) hey Jaehyun! I’m happy u texted me! Yesssss let’s totally do something together!! What did u have in mind??

And that’s how you and Jaehyun - basically strangers - ended up on the hood of his car at 1 am; eating chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and looking at the stars together.

“Everyone knows the buffalo sauce is the best, Jaehyun!” He laughed at your counter argument, but shook his head none the less.

“No, honey mustard is superior!”

“No, because you could get that anywhere-“

“-you could get buffalo anywhere! And why is it orange, and why does it taste the way it does?” You were both laughing in between arguing your respective sides, and if it weren’t for the slightly uncomfortable position of laying on the hood of a car, this moment would have been picture perfect (but really, it was anyway).

You were thankful that the college you went to wasn’t directly in the city, so when Jaehyun picked you up and drove to a good star gazing place, it was easy to see the night sky.

“Sometimes, I like to close my eyes and imagine I’m floating in space. It feels kind of trippy.” Jaehyun turned his head at the sound of your voice, but you continued staring at the sky.

“How do you do that?” He asked.

“Well, I have to be in a completely dark and silent room. Then, I just unfocus my gaze and I don’t move my body at all. It’s how people become, uh..Jesus what’s the word? When they get like, controlled?-“

“-hypnotized?”

“Yeah! I watched a video where he hypnotized the crowd and the viewers to see their past life - it was crazy.” Through out your small speech, you waved your hands a lot, and Jaehyun took notice of the fact that you spoke with your hands; it was something small, but he tucked it into the back of his head, and kept it to think about for when he needed to smile.

“What was your past life?”

“I lived at an old korean palace - like 19th century. I wasn’t a high position, but I was wealthy. I wore red a lot.”

“Send me the link?” You finally turned to lock eyes with Jaehyun.

“Yes, of course.” You both smiled at each. Nothing was said, but both of you could practically feel yourselves making room for each other in your hearts, the longer you sat on the hood of Jaehyun’s car; staring at the stars.

“How I wish we could just date - So you can teach me how to be more like you”

Jaehyun could feel himself fidgeting slightly while he waited for you to open the door to your apartment. After gazing at the stars, you offered him a tour of your place and a beer or two, and Jaehyun didn’t admit it, but he didn’t care if you said you wanted to kill someone - he would have agreed if it meant spending more time with you.

“Sorry it’s kind of a mess! I was going to clean it on Wed...” your voice continued going, but the farther you walked away, the less Jaehyun heard it, so he just chose to instead look around the main area of your apartment, and what he found left him in awe.

A black bass sat snugly in the corner of your living room, surrounded by plants. Behind your couch framed, vintage movie posters decorated the wall, and fairy lights, records, and books sat on the shelf above your tv.

You came out of the kitchen with a wine bottle and two glasses, and you sat them down on the coffee table while Jaehyun took a seat on your couch. “I like your apartment.”

You looked back at him with a smile while pouring yourselves drinks, and sat down next to him while laughing, “thanks. Like I said, it’s kind of messy,” you paused to take a drink, “But it’s home. Bleh, wine makes me feel old.” Jaehyun nodded while laughing, and the air became thick with quietness, which teetered between awkward and calm leniently. Jaehyun - as slyly as he could - stared at your side profile while you started talking about the movie posters hanging behind you. You had an aura of chill vibes, and it seemed that whatever you talked about, you managed to make interesting. Jaehyun was debating whether he wanted to date you, or be you, until he came to the conclusion that he wanted to date you so he could learn to be like you. Although it was the beginning of what he hoped was a new relationship, Jaehyun already had so much respect for you, and as you joked around with him about whatever the two of you could think of, Jaehyun’s excitement for the the future held only increased more and more.

Past life video

That was my actual past life btw! Lemme know what y’all get 😩 also just go on the website if you get a lot of ads - bc that can fuck w ur hypnotization! It’s not scary, I promise. The dude has a super nice voice. It’s vv trippy. If you’re a skeptic - do it anyway. Worst case scenario, you get a good laugh.

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callmebaby-era-yixing · 4 years

Text

Cut You A Piece

Mark is terrified of getting married.

Word Count: 8773 (just kinda dipping my toes in writing, I DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS)

Mark x OC // Johnny x Y/N

TW - Angst, suicidal moments, death, minor curse words

Based off this song

Nervous was an understatement, he was terrified. Mark stood in front of the full length mirror picking at his black tux. His necktie was crooked, his sleeve had random dust on it, even his hair was betraying him by being too fluffy. Jackie always said that his fluffy hair was one of her favorite things about him. She said it made him "adorable and approachable," which of course Mark was grateful for since it was what encouraged her to approach him first.

Back then, Mark would have never imagined that the girl who made a sudden compliment on his hair would become his wife to be. But here he was, fidgeting with the pink rose on his chest and repeatedly patting his pocket to make sure the ring was still there.

Mark's breath caught in his throat as he went to check again. A sigh of relief followed out of his lips soon after. It was still there.

He shook his arms and legs trying to shake out some of his nerves. Mark attempted to clear his head for the 10th time in the last hour, only to fail again. He was marrying the love of his life yet he couldn't stop worrying about everything that could happen. Not with the wedding, he was sure that would go peacefully, but with what would happen after.

He was worried because Jackie was mortal. Obviously, he was mortal too but more importantly, Jackie was. She could be taken away from him at any time, even by accident. Did he really want to get married if there's a possibility that she could die tomorrow? Maybe not getting married would make it hurt less. He'd still lose his soulmate but at least then it would be his girlfriend, not his wife. He had seen what it was like to lose a wife when Johnny lost Y/N.

He ran his fingers through his newly dyed hair as he released a huff of air. Jackie had made a request that they both color their hair pink for the special day to surprise the guests. Mark hadn't seen the color on her yet but he already knew she would look like perfection personified. A mental image of her popped into his head and all previous thoughts of not marrying her disappeared for a moment. He was 100% certain he wouldn't survive losing her but he wanted this more than anything.

The sound of footsteps pulled Mark from the mirror. The man was barely able to completely turn away before a rowdy group of men burst into the room. The 6 groomsmen surrounded the pink haired man and began teasing him.

"Our Mark Lee is getting married," Haechan cheerfully hollered with a bottle of sparkling cider in hand. His yell seemed to trigger the rest to join in with their own screams. Jackie decided to make the wedding alcohol free since she knew the boys didn't need its influence to be hyper.

"Your hair is so pink!" Chenle reached to ruffle the groom's hair but was blocked by Jaemin.

"Aren't you excited?" Jisung seemed to be the only one who noticed the conflicted expression on Mark's face. Upon hearing the youngest's question, everyone else quieted down to examine the situation themselves.

"I am," Mark started, "I just don't want to lose her." His voice was laced with worry. Not wanting to make eye contact with any of his friends, he instead glanced over all of their grey suits. Jackie picked the colors: pink, grey, black, and white.

"Lose her?" Renjun laughed. "You're literally about to marry her!"

"Not like that!" Mark defended. Glancing over to Renjun, he continued in a mumble, "like Y/N."

At the mention of the girl, the group fell into a thick silence.

"You shouldn't think about that," Haechan quietly asserted.

"It's hard not to. You saw how Johnny was when it happened. He's stronger than I am and he barely got through it," Mark paused, "actually he never got through it!"

Placing his hand on the groom's shoulder, Haechan comforted, "Just because that happened to them, doesn't mean that'll happen to you."

"I know, it's just.." Mark drifted off. Too many memories of Johnny and Y/N were running through his head.

"Maybe I should stop smoking. What do you think?"

Mark was shocked to say the least. Johnny had been smoking since 8th grade and now, nearly 8 years later, he was speaking of quitting. Mark had told him many times to stop only to be ignored. "I told you to quit years ago, man!"

Smirking, Johnny replied, "well, I didn't want to then. Now I do."

"What changed?"

"You know that girl Y/N?"

Stuffing another slice of pizza in his face, Mark dug in his memories for the name Y/N. "Umm," he pondered out loud, "isn't that the girl you called a loner last year?"

"She and I have been hanging out since the school year started. Turns out neither of us are big fans of our psych class," Johnny explained smugly. "She said I always smell like a bus stop bench after I smoke." The tall male couldn't help but let out a laugh recalling the bold comment from the normally quiet girl. "So I was thinking of stopping or taking a break from smoking at least."

Not believing what he heard, Mark stared at his older friend waiting for him to say psych. Not hearing it, he asked, "Do you have a crush on her or something? Since when do you care about what you smell like to some girl? School started like 3 weeks ago and you're already changing yourself for her. I mean, like it's a good change but still, already?"

This was one of the first times Mark had ever seen Johnny get shy. "I don't know man. She's just different than I thought." A light blush painted Johnny's cheeks as he thought back to his conversations with Y/N. "I might like her," he admitted as he went to pour himself a shot of vodka. Bottle mid air, Johnny paused, "should I stop drinking too?"

"This is too weird, man." Mark shuttered.

"I know right."

Y/N was nervous, Mark could tell. She was quiet the whole night. She was normally quiet, but Mark assumed she would open up some more since she was meeting her boyfriend's friends for the first time. Instead, she barely spoke 2 sentences from her arrival.

Johnny kept her close the whole night, probably for her comfort. He held his arms around her waist while he made conversation with Jungwoo. She wasn't invested in what they were talking about but was content being in his arms. Her eyes glanced about the party that her boyfriend arranged just to introduce her to everyone. She honestly couldn't see herself hanging out with them very often, but Johnny made it a big deal to combine his favorite people and she couldn't disappoint him.

Mark had said probably 4 words to her before he started talking with his friends. He was happy for his friend, however he didn't see the point of trying to become close when he knew that Y/N would not be comfortable this soon.

"What do you think of Y/N?" Yuta asked Mark suddenly.

"She's okay. She makes Johnny happy so I guess she's cool?" Mark answered honestly.

"Yeah sure. I heard him talking about signing up for tutoring because of her, something about wanting to 'deserve' her," Yuta scoffed. He had been pissy ever since the relationship started. Mark assumed it was because Johnny decided to work on himself and was no longer Yuta's partner in crime. "I mean, I'm happy he's happy but it's like she's controlling him."

Mark turned his attention to Y/N "controlling" Johnny. She was looking up at him with stars in her brown eyes. It was clear that she loved him despite only being official for a month. In between sentences, Johnny would look down at her, smile, and place a small kiss on her cheek which only caused the stars in her eyes to grow bigger. That scene let Mark know all he needed to know: Y/N was just as whipped for Johnny as he was for her.

A smile imprinted on Mark's face. Seeing his friend so in love with someone who matched the affection was relaxing. To be honest, Mark had been worried for Johnny with his rebel past, the older male having a history of not thinking of his future. Y/N was helping build him into a better person but Mark was proud of him for actually doing the work needed to get there. For that, Mark was grateful to both of them.

"You've known her for like a year and a half! You guys have been dating for slightly less than that!" Mark had been trying to reason with Johnny for the past hour.

"Y/N and I have known each other for a year and 9 months exactly. We've been dating for a year and 6 months. I think we're ready!"

"You're thinking about proposing, bro!"

"I'm not 'thinking' about it, Mark," Johnny clarified, "I already got the ring."

Mark's eyes were wide and his mouth sat agape. His friend had invited him out to lunch just to spring this news on him. Johnny tried to casually slip in that he's going to ask Y/N to marry him but Mark caught on quicker than expected. He, of course, voiced his concerns about Johnny proposing. Mark's concerns doubled when Johnny announced that his plan was to be acted out during their graduation.

"Let's be real, Mark. If it wasn't for Y/N, I wouldn't be graduating at all! I love her," the last sentence was said with so much love and sincerity that Mark couldn't doubt it for a millisecond. Johnny had a goofy smile on his face just from speaking of his girlfriend. "We both know that I was pissing my life away before she told me to get my shit together. I would literally die for her."

"I don't doubt you love her, man. I'm just saying that maybe you should wait longer. Marriage is a major deal, you're basically giving her a piece of yourself. Don't you think you should give it a little more time?"

Grinning, Johnny didn't hesitate to reply, "nope."

Sighing, Mark asked the question that he needed to know to continue the conversation, "I'm not talking you out of this, am I?"

Somehow smiling even wider, Johnny repeated, "nope."

"If you think about what happened like that, it'll ruin the whole day," Renjun started gently, "Jackie is probably already nervous, hearing that you're freaking out won't help."

"It's not like I'm trying to! I just can't help thinking about it." Mark was telling the truth, he hadn't thought about it in the better part of 2 years until that moment. The man hadn’t even spoken to Johnny in about 3. He didn't want to think about the memory but it brought up a certainty that he had been able to avoid before: whether it's today, tomorrow, in 2 years, or 70, he was going to have to go on without Jackie at some point. The only way to challenge that would be if he passed first, which still wasn't ideal.

A low chime rang out through the room. Jeno reached for his phone in his back pocket and scanned the text he had received. "Doyoung said that they are ready to start whenever." Shutting off the screen, he looked up at the husband-to-be. "You love Jackie. She loves you. Marry her or you'll regret it." Nothing else was said as he walked out of the room to get in place for the ceremony.

Giving Mark another look of sympathy, Jisung and Chenle followed Jeno out. One by one, the remaining groomsmen made their exit too, each giving Mark a word of encouragement or a pat on the back.

Alone, Mark turned back to the mirror to make final adjustments to his appearance. Deciding that his tie won't get straighter and his hair won't get any better, he did one last shake and set off for the ceremony.

Jackie chose the perfect venue, in Mark's opinion. The entire building had white walls with gold and grey accents thrown here and there. Mark felt that his hair could be seen a mile away against the walls. The ceilings were about 2 stories high, which only made the space more airy, something the groom was thankful for at this moment where breathing was difficult. The floor was covered in a beautiful white carpet, nothing thick but soft enough to mostly mute his steps. The pink flowers complimented the entire design perfectly. Jackie and Mark agreed on arrangements of snapdragons and roses each in a clear glass vase for the occasion. There was a light smell from the flowers in the air, everything was ideal.

The hall Mark was walking down felt extremely long. For a moment, he thought he got lost only to realize he had speed walked past the door he was supposed to stop at.

His heart was beating out of his chest. If it went on like this, Mark was sure it would fall straight out on the white carpet and he would never see the safety deposit he put towards the venue. Both of his hands were shaking and he suddenly had to pee. "Calm down. Get it together." His mumbles did nothing to calm himself.

Searching for any distraction, he focused on the doors in front of them. They were white with gold intricate indents going through it. Their height was nearly double the groom which made him feel small and oddly comforted him. Mark released a shaky breath and gripped the gold doorknob. He went to turn it but the sweat on his hand prevented him from getting the friction he desperately needed to open it.

"Shit." Roughly patting his hands on his suit pants, Mark attempted to get as much moisture off as he could.

Trying again, Mark was able to get the door open that time.

The door opened to a beautiful main room. Somehow the ceiling was even higher in here than the hall he was coming from. The sides had white pillars that were topped off with what appeared to be angels made of stone. Those angels were holding up beams that ran across the ceiling. Windows were placed next to each angel and brought in loads of natural sunlight. The seats were covered in a light grey fabric that really helped to bring out the much more subtle grey accents throughout the room. Up at the altar, pink and white flower arrangements the size of small trees colored the space.

Mark paused at the back of the room to admire all the guests that had come. There were ushers standing on each side of him, waiting to hold open the doors for the wedding party. Mark's lips couldn't help but quickly quirk into a smile as he saw everyone turn in their seats to look at him. Everyone was dressed in black, grey, or pink, of course saving white for the bride. Mark could see his mom, his dad, even his older brother had made it, after originally he said he couldn't come. Mark made a mental note to punch him later for that. All of their eyes got wide at the sight of his cotton candy hair.

Mark began to walk down the aisle but continued smiling at his friends and family and the other guests as well. His steps were heavy despite how excited he was. Looking to his side, Mark could see that his older friends wore wide smiles as they took him in. He looked more mature than usual, even with the pink hair. They could also see how nervous he was but they expected as much.

Reaching the altar, Mark stopped walking and turned towards the crowd. He re-positioned his hands about 10 times before he finally decided on just holding them together behind his back. Not wanting to look at the guests for a moment, he let his head fall so he could stare at his shoes. They were black and plain, yet at that time, he was pretending like they were the most complex items ever. He sees another pair of dress shoes come to stand next to him. Looking up, he sees his grandfather who agreed to official the wedding. The old man had a bright pink suit on, which in any other situation, Mark would have a chuckle about. His grandfather lightly pats the groom's shoulder with a smile.

"Are you ready," his grandfather inquires. Mark swears if one more person asks him, he will scream. Instead of doing so however, he just nods his head with a tight smile and resumes examining his shoes.

About 4 minutes pass before Mark's shoe gazing is interrupted by the start of the song he and Jackie agreed to play for this part of the ceremony. The smooth instrumentals ironically filled his heart with everything but calmness.

The ushers opened the doors and the first to enter were Haechan and Abby, Jackie's best friend. As best man and maid of honor, they wore proud smiles. Haechan's dark grey suit sat perfectly on the male. His tie was pink against his white shirt and on his chest sat a pink rose, matching the flower on Mark's suit. Haechan had spent the previous 2 months showing off his outfit since the other groomsmen had light grey suits with white snapdragons instead. His hair was styled up for the special day.

Abby had on a pale, knee length, pink dress, the shade just slightly lighter than Mark's hair. The dress didn't have any fluffiness to it and flowed nicely. The bodice was a v-neck and sleeveless. Across Abby's waist laid a thin, grey satin waistband, which set her apart the other bridesmaids who all had a pink satin waistband. Her hair was jet black and stood out against the light dress but still went with the total theme of the room. It was styled with a few curls, otherwise it was pretty much allowed to fall freely.

The pair strolled gracefully down the aisle, arm in arm, smiling at the guests. Haechan playfully winked at Ten in the crowd, who rolled his eyes in return. Abby was also in a playful mood as she blew a few kisses to the guests on her side. Mark couldn't stop the second hand embarrassment from seeping in. He let out a small chuckle as his hand covered his mouth then returned back to behind him.

As the couple reached the altar, they untangled their arms as they walked to their respective sides. Haechan came to stand behind Mark and nudged his shoulder in a subtle show of support.

The next pair walked out: Renjun and Jackie's older sister Jada. They weren't as comfortable together as the best man and the maid of honor, but they still glided across the floor with content smiles. Following them was Jeno and Jackie's aunt, Stella. Stella was actually 1 year older than Jackie which Mark always found amusing. Jaemin and Daevy were the next to come out. Daevy was Jackie's closest friend other than Abby. She had known the bride since kindergarten and was just happy to be involved. Chenle and Jisung came out with their partners for the day as well: Tamara and Sunny, who were both Jackie's cousins.

The flower girls came out afterwards. One was Jackie's little sister and the other was Taeyong's niece. Mark asked to borrow her for the day since he couldn't think of anyone in his family for the job. The girls wore fluffy light grey dresses with pink satin waistbands. Both of the girls' hair were up in neat ponytails with curls at the end. They threw the flowers everywhere while laughing, causing the entire crowd to coo over them. Mark aww-ed right along with them.

The smooth music stopped and the traditional wedding march began. Mark's nerves practically doubled at the first note he heard. The 2 ushers that had been holding the tall doors open closed them briefly to allow the bride to get in place behind them. Mark felt a bead of sweat run down his backside as he swallowed roughly. He turned behind him to silently communicate with his groomsmen. His eyes screamed for help only to be met with a thumbs up or an eye roll.

Nodding to each other, the ushers went to pull back open the doors.

"Will you calm down?" Mark was trying to quietly yell at Johnny to stop bouncing in place. Johnny was nervous, Mark understood, but the man hadn't stopped moving since he arrived.

"She'll be walking down the aisle any moment now," Jaehyun started, "do you really want her to see you jumping around?" Jaehyun also was keeping his voice low to not draw too much attention. As Johnny's best man, Jaehyun stood closest to him and didn't have to speak very loudly to be heard.

"Do you think she changed her mind?" Johnny was a wreck. His nervousness was slipping into his tone. Y/N was supposed to walk down the aisle 10 minutes ago and she was yet to show. He didn't even attempt to hide his worry from the guests.

"No, she's probably freaking out too," Jaehyun rolled his eyes.

At his friend's words, Johnny stopped fidgeting and stared at Jaehyun with wide, panicked eyes. "She's freaking out?" Mark didn't like seeing him like this.

"No," Jaehyun was getting frustrated with the soon-to-be husband, "just relax." With that, he put his hands on Johnny's shoulders to spin him around.

Mark was getting nervous too. Not that Y/N wouldn't show, but that Johnny would work himself into a panic attack before she could.

The crowd was growing antsy as well. Many people started looking around to see if there was a reason for the delay. Johnny's father had walked up to the altar to ask his son if something was wrong, who shrugged his shoulders in reply. The bridesmaids were awkwardly scratching their heads.

Johnny was near tears when he saw Y/N's father briskly walking down the aisle alone. The man kept his head down until he reached the groom. Stopping at the altar, he stood with his back against the crowd and whispered to Johnny, "Y/N needs to talk to you."

Johnny's eyes went large and he swallowed hard. "Okay." His heart felt like it was preparing to drop at any second. Clearing his throat, he addressed the entire room, "Give me a moment, please." Not sparing another word, he took off running through the back door.

Mark stood there frozen as he watched his friend bolt out the exit. Y/N's father awkwardly walked to his seat and sat. The other groomsmen were talking among themselves. They didn't seem as worried as everyone else in the room but even they were starting to break a bit. Mark felt for Johnny. He wouldn't know how to react if he was in his place. A light hum fell over the room as the guests made conversation to pass the time.

Mark counted about 6 minutes before Johnny ran back to the altar. A wide smile graced his face as re-positioned himself at his spot.

"What happened," Doyoung questioned loud enough for the grinning groom to hear.

Johnny waved the air and let out a chuckle, "don't worry about it. Just be ready, she'll be coming out any minute."

Overhearing the small announcement, Y/N's father stood up and jogged to the back to be able to still give her away.

Johnny waved his hand to signal for the music to restart. The song began for the 2nd time and the guests stood facing the entrance.

The sound of the chapel doors opening floated through the room. Mark turned his attention from the groom to the source of the sound.

Y/N stood there in all her glory. Her ivory dress matched the theme of the wedding very well. The corset was covered in lace and complimented her figure perfectly. Her sleeves were made of a tulle that rested off her shoulder, the same kind of tulle that made up the dress's floor length skirt. In her hands, rested a simple bouquet of blue irises and white lilies.

She was nervous, Mark could tell. Her eyes rapidly bounced back and forth, scanning the room. Her father leaned over to her ear to whisper something, which helped her relax a bit. Tapping her arm that was wrapped in his, he began to lead her down the aisle.

A sniffle is heard in the room. Mark turned his head in the direction it came from, only to see Johnny with tears in his eyes. Mark's eyes widened at the new sight. He had known Johnny for most of his life and this was the first time the boy had ever seen the older male cry. The tears were happy tears, of course, but it was still an odd sight.

Mark's own eyes started to water as well. Johnny was like a brother to him and now that brother was getting married. Previously, Johnny had spoken about staying single forever and not getting "tied down," yet here he was. The man was squatting and roughly rubbing his tears at the view of his wife-to-be walking to him. Even through the constant flow of tears, he kept his focus of Y/N. Jaehyun laid a gentle hand on Johnny's back in a silent show of support, his face decorated with a smug grin. Mark already knew Jaehyun would bring this up again to tease Johnny in the near future.

A few sniffles were coming from the guests as well, mainly from people who were watching the groom break down.

Y/N finally reached the altar after what felt like eternity. She handed her bouquet to the maid of honor so she could help Johnny stand back up. Using the back of her hand, she wiped his tears and placed a peck on his cheek. From his spot on the side, Mark could hear her whisper that she loved him. Johnny whispered his own love in return. Y/N beamed at his words and gazed at him with pure adoration. Mark felt his eyes start to run.

The ceremony officially commenced with Taeil greeting the guests. He had agreed to officiate the wedding after getting a license to do so online. Johnny and Y/N had only graduated college a few months earlier, they couldn't afford to hire a professional yet. Having Taeil officiate the union only made it more special anyway.

The couple exchanged heartfelt marriage vows, drawing more stifled cries from the crowd. They practically oozed affection for each other. Mark heard Jaehyun sniffle before seeing him turn his head to not get caught. Mark giggles through his own tears; Jaehyun wouldn't be able to tease Johnny now.

The rest of the night was filled with more crying, laughing, and gazes overflowing with love. During the reception, everyone danced and drank. Johnny decided to make the playlist for the occasion himself, which made for a hilarious event. At some point, he danced so hard that he dropped an empty wine glass and it shattered. Y/N scolded him endlessly for being so hyper. In return, Johnny kissed her playfully. She immediately forgave him.

The night was magical. Mark got drunk with all of his friends and let loose. He drunkenly congratulated Johnny and Y/N multiple times. Johnny was entertained.

In Mark's inebriated mind, he decided that he wanted a relationship exactly like theirs.

Mark's breath caught in his throat.

Jackie stood at the entrance with her arm wrapped in her older brother's. Her hair was a bright pink that burned only slightly more intense than Mark's. He decided that shade was now his new favorite color. Her makeup was on the natural side and flaunted her natural beauty. With a deep breath, Jackie started walking.

Jackie's dress was a solid white that reminded Mark of a cloud on a summer day. It didn't have any lace or flowers on it, instead showing off a simple look that fit her personality well. The dress had a v-neck that mirrored the bridesmaids' and a wide waistband that matched the rest of the dress in the shade of white. The dress grazed the floor as Jackie sauntered down the aisle.

Jackie had a wide smile on her face, making Mark's heart skip a beat. He began rocking side to side, growing impatient waiting for his bride to reach him.

Mark's mind drifted back to Johnny. He thought back to how he nagged Johnny on his wedding day. Maybe he should have been more understanding.

Mark lightly shook his head, attempting to rid himself of those memories. He wanted to stay in the moment and enjoy watching his soulmate approach him.

Jackie could see the conflicting emotions all over Mark's face, she knew him like the back of her hand. She resisted the urge to frown and kept walking.

Mark looked back up to his bride as she stopped about 10 feet away. She kissed her brother's cheek as he unwrapped their arms and headed to his seat. Jackie turned her attention to Mark, closing the distance.

There she stood, only 2 feet in front of him. Mark's lips turned upwards subconsciously at the sight. Jackie returned the smile and blew an air kiss to him. The guests who caught the small exchange released small giggles. Jackie let out a chuckle. She spun around to pass off her bouquet to Abby who stood behind her.

Facing Mark, Jackie looked him in the eye and took a deep breath. Her hands subtly followed the motions of the air entering her body. Just from the expression on her face, Mark knew she was mentally instructing him to copy. He inhaled deeply then let it out.

Satisfied, Jackie held out her hands to grab. Mark connected his with hers and felt his heart stutter. His grandfather officially started the ceremony.

Mark stood next to the hospital bed. Unconscious, Johnny laid peacefully. Mark knew what was going to happen when he woke up and that knowledge almost made him wish Johnny would stay unconscious for as long as possible. Mark wiped his tears and took a shaky breath. He had finished heavily sobbing minutes earlier but he felt another fit coming at the thought of having to be the one to tell Johnny.

Mark's vision juggled between the bruises and scratches on the sleeping male and the wedding ring that decorated his finger for the previous 6 months. Johnny had a gash on his face the size of a bobby pin on his jaw that the doctor patched up. One eye was completely swollen, the other black. A dark purple blemish could be seen on his shoulder. The man's entire right leg was in a cast that was fashioned to a sling of sorts to keep it elevated.

Mark wanted to scream. This wasn't fair. Neither of them deserved this. Feeling himself getting emotional again, Mark stepped out the room into the hallway. There, he squatted and sobbed with his head between his knees. This was the 7th time he broke down since he received the call a few hours earlier.

"Mark?"

Said male glanced up from his spot to Yuta peering down at him. Yuta's eyes were similar to Mark's, alerting him that Yuta had also been crying.

"Is he awake?" Yuta asked weakly, his voice cracking with every word.

Not finding his voice, Mark shook his head as more tears raced down.

Yuta walked towards the room to see the unconscious male, patting Mark on the head on the way in.

From the hallway, Mark could hear Yuta break down. His weeps echoed through the entire hospital floor. Mark wanted to attempt to comfort Yuta but he knew that if he saw Johnny in that state again, he would be no help.

Over the next 2 hours, Jaehyun, Taeil, Doyoung, Taeyong, and Jungwoo came and joined Yuta around the bed. The cries increased with each new arrival.

Mark had yet to move from his spot in the hallway. Now he laid on his side, curled into a ball, not caring when anyone walked past. His eyes were swollen. His face was red. His throat was scratchy. But he had yet to run out of tears.

"Mark." Taeil gently tapped the male to gain his attention. "He's awake." He didn't wait for a response before going back to the room.

At those words, Mark slowly went to sit up. His body ached from shaking so much. Using his hoodie sleeve, he wiped his face again. He inhaled deeply, holding air a few seconds before letting it go. With unsteady legs, he stood to his feet and paused at the doorway.

All the men were crowded around the bed as Johnny gained consciousness. Mark drug his feet to an open spot next to Jungwoo.

Johnny had the black eye half open. He tried to open the other but ceased when a sharp pain shot through his skull. The resulting whine of pain stabbed Mark in his heart causing his fists to clench. The injured man attempted to sit up from his flat position releasing audible groans.

"Don't sit up," many worried voices commanded in near unison. Jungwoo lightly rested his hand on the man's chest to stop any further movement. Heeding to the order, Johnny allowed himself to return to his previous position.

A minute of silence passed.

"What happened?" The voice that broke the silence wasn't the one the boys' were used to hearing. It was weak. It was strained from pain. Johnny sounded about as horrible as he looked. Every word that passed his lips caused him to wince.

No one spoke. Mark could feel the tears growing. He knew he was going to break down once again. The man had cried so much that the back of his head felt tense. There was no way he could be the one to speak and tell his friend. He stared at Johnny's leg cast. This wasn't fair.

The other men were in similar situations, too emotional to tell the man. Jaehyun - who prided himself in being strong in all ways - couldn't udder a syllable. He instead kept his gaze on the heart monitor, ignoring the quiet tears falling from his eyes. Jungwoo was squatted with his hands covering his face, not caring how obvious his cries were. Yuta and Doyoung hadn't stopped looking at the floor since Johnny woke up, neither one wanting to see their friend in this condition. Taeyong's lip was shaking violently as he waited for someone else to please take the lead. Just this once.

It was Taeil who cleared his throat. He quickly swiped at his red eyes. Gathering all the strength required, he began, "There was an accident. You got into a car accident." All the false strength was displayed in his tone but he went on. "While you were turning, a truck hit your car. Someone called 911 and you were bought here."

Johnny's eyebrows furrowed as he took in what he just heard. As the information processed, he began to slowly scan the room. He saw all his friends but someone was missing. Someone very important. His question came out in a croak. "Where's Y/N?"

A wail sounded from Jungwoo.

Mark needed to leave the room. He couldn't be here for this part. His sneakers squeaked as he spun around to exit. He still had not run out of tears. He closed the door behind him. Returning to his spot in the hallway, Mark resumed his sobs. Falling to the floor, he held his knees and squeezed his eyes shut.

Over his fit, Mark couldn't hear the mumbling from the room. He didn't hear Johnny ask Taeil to repeat himself.

He did, however, hear Johnny's pained scream. He would never forget that sound. He heard Jaehyun finally let out his own sobs. He heard Johnny start to yell to see Y/N. Mark heard a crash and what sounded like the hospital bed shaking. He heard the others urgently call for a nurse. He heard Doyoung beg Johnny to stop and get back in bed. Mark's heartbeat increased.

What he heard next was the door slamming open. Raising his head, Mark saw Yuta run out the room down the hall in search of help. Through the now open door, he could see Johnny wailing on the floor. He used his arms to pull himself forward toward the door since one of his legs was useless. The man looked even worse now than when he first came to. His saline bag pole drug behind him as he crawled. The bed was now displaced by several inches.

Johnny's face was contorted into the most pain Mark had ever seen him in. The swollen shut eye was now visibly throbbing from the tears being trapped behind the enlarged eyelid. The older male's mouth was open but his teeth were clenched together. He shook with every sob he let out, but he kept his crawling constant.

The other men in the room were panicking. They yelled at Johnny to stop but none dared to lay a hand on him in fear of hurting him more. They stood in his path only to be cursed at or crawled around.

Mark was frozen staring at the man as he tried to leave, the visual burning into his memory. It was terrifying seeing him like this. Mark wanted to get up and help the others get Johnny back in bed but his body wouldn't allow it. He instead made eye contact with the male and cried in return.

As Johnny finally reached the threshold, several rapid steps were heard coming from the end of the hall. Mark's focus stayed on the desperate man. The source of the steps entered his vision.

Yuta ran into the room, followed shortly by 3 nurses and a doctor. The doctor went to straighten the bed and the saline stand while the nurses grabbed for Johnny's arms. The man fought them hard, throwing punches and even kicking with his cast to get them off. Eventually, they found a way to get a grip on him. The nurses lifted him off the ground to force him back on the remade bed.

Taeyong, Yuta, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo all stood against the walls to stay out of the medical staff's way. The men also were screaming but for the nurses to be gentle and for Johnny to stop fighting.

Taeil walked out the room to Mark's side. Like almost everyone else, Taeil was crying. His tears were especially heavy since he had to be the one to report what happened. He fell to the floor as well. Mark's eyes stayed glued on the commotion in the room despite how much he wanted to comfort the friend beside him.

Johnny tearfully pleaded for the nurses to let him go. He pleaded for them to let him see his Y/N again. Another pained screech ripped from his throat, then the pleading for death started. The kicking and punching had significantly weakened but continued on anyway.

The doctor left the room for a few seconds while the nurse kept Johnny pinned. She returned with a syringe in her hand. Quickly snatching off the cap, she held Johnny's arm in place to locate a vein. Finding what she needed, she cautiously inserted the needle into his arm and pressed the plunger slowly. She began to slide the needle out only to be interrupted by Johnny attempting to snatch his arm back. Letting the syringe stay in place a bit longer, the doctor focused on restraining the man.

Johnny's shouts slowly got quieter until they were just sleepy mumbles about seeing Y/N. He no longer was able to fight, allowing the hospital staff to let him go. The nurses went about fixing everything. They replaced the I.V. in Johnny's arm, placed his leg cast back in the sling, and reattached the heart monitor. By the time they were done and gone, Johnny was back unconscious.

Mark, Jungwoo, Jaehyun, Taeyong, Taeil, Yuta, and Doyoung stayed in the hospital room taking turns crying for their friend and his wife. They attempted to comfort one another only to break down later. Afterwards when they decided that some should go home, they took turns staying with Johnny so that he wouldn't be alone.

"Are you okay," Mark asked.

"No."

It had been a year since Johnny lost Y/N. In that year, Y/N had her funeral, was cremated, and Johnny limited his contact with everyone. Mark had talked to him a total of 9 times in that year, most of those conversations lasting less than 20 minutes.

Neither of the men spoke. Mark didn't know what to say. Johnny didn't have anything to say. It was obvious that Johnny didn't want to have this talk but Mark wanted to know how his friend was doing.

"Aren't you hungry? Let's get something to eat, bro." Mark grabbed the small menu on the table of the cafe. He was trying to spend as much time as possible with Johnny so he figured they could eat while catching up. The only reason he was able to convince him to come out was by blowing up his phone.

"No." Johnny wanted to go home. He appreciated Mark trying to check on him but he wasn't ready. He wasn't over Y/N and honestly, he didn't think he would ever be. He lost his soulmate.

Sighing, Mark sat the menu back down. It hurt to see his friend like this. "Haechan told me to tell you hey."

Johnny only nodded in return, though his sight never left the table.

The quietness was awkward.

Mark cleared his throat. The background ambiance flooded into the space Mark had hoped would be filled with conversation. He bit his bottom lip and scanned the room. There were families laughing, couples giggling, students studying; everyone appeared content except the man across from him. Y/N seemed to have taken that part of him with her.

Mark’s mind began to wonder. Would Y/N’s death affect Johnny as much if they had waited a while longer for marriage? Johnny would have just lost a girlfriend, something the male had had many of in the past.

“Do you regret marrying her?” The question came out softly. Mark felt horrible asking this but he wanted to know the answer.

Johnny was taken aback. What kind of question was that? He furrowed his brows and pressed his lips in a firm line. His stare turned to Mark. “No, I don’t. Why would you ask that,” he interrogated sternly. He held an angry undertone.

“I’m just asking,” Mark hurriedly defended, “I don’t like seeing you like this or ignoring all your friends trying to check on you.” Both of Mark’s hands raised slightly in defense.

“Even if I didn’t marry her, I still would be in love with her.” Johnny continued, “I wouldn’t trade that day for anything. If I could go back in time, the only change I would make is the accident.” He paused for a few seconds to play with his wedding ring. It hasn’t left his finger since his wedding day. “But if she was going to die anyway, at least she left with my last name.” He was now shaking. His voice cracked, “I miss her so much.”

Mark could tell that his friend was going to cry if he continued talking about his lost love.

“She was my soulmate. Sometimes, I wish I went with her.”

Mark’s heart dropped. “You don’t mean that, man. Y/N wouldn’t want you to think that.”

“I know but Mark, you don’t understand. When you meet the love of your life, you’ll get it. The thought of living without them will be painful. It’s easy to say that I shouldn’t have married her now, but I would have regretted not marrying her more. Back when I told you I was going to propose, you said that getting married was like cutting a piece of yourself to give to someone else. You were right. I gave her a piece of me but she was meant to have it. I’m happy she has it.” Johnny sighed, “Fall in love, Mark. You’ll understand.”

Mark understood. As he held Jackie’s hand in his, he understood.

He was terrified. He knew he was eventually going to lose her. He knew it was going to hurt him, possibly destroying him in the process. After she leaves, he could live the rest of his life without moving on. He could go on mourning until people mourn him, but as he stared into Jackie’s eyes, he knew it was worth it.

Even if Mark knew she would die tomorrow, today would not go any different. Bringing their clasped hands up to his lips, Mark placed a small kiss on them. After today, Jackie would have his last lame, something that would outlast both of them. That was enough for him.

Johnny was right.

Mark’s grandfather went about his lines, his voice thick with age. “We are gathered here to witness the union of Mark Lee and Jackie Garcia in holy matrimony. This is a day of great celebration, for married life - a shared life - is a blessing. As Mark and Jackie embark on this journey together, they’ll be able to nurture a love that makes them better versions of themselves.

“Mark and Jackie, on your journey together, my personal hope is that you 2 cherish each other for as long as you can. Love is effortless but marriage can be another story,” he let out a chuckle. The guests released small chuckles as well. Jackie lightly squeezed Mark’s hand to reassure him. “Love is patient and everlasting, not quitting even when times are hard. Marriage is meant to be a way to show others that love you share, something that will outlast everyone here. I hope that both of you will share this love even when the other expires.

“Mark and Jackie have chosen to write their own vows while trading rings.. With these words, they will each express their love and their promises to one another. With these rings, they will swear to keep those promises. If you are ready, you can start with your intentions to each other. Jackie, when you’re ready, you may begin.” Mark’s grandfather turned to the bride.

Jackie nodded to her grandfather-in-law, and nervously chuckled. “Okay.” Letting out a deep breath, she started out with shaky words. She recited the vows she had been memorizing for the last few weeks. She spoke of her love for Mark, brought up memories of their first meeting, and told of when Mark proposed to her. Jackie went on to list the promises she made to Mark. She promised to take care of him, to not get mad when he works longer than expected, to love him no matter what. Mark almost cried from the love-filled vows. Jackie released his hand to reach for the ring that was in her dress’s pocket. Slipping it on the man’s finger, she smiled the brightest Mark had ever seen.

“That was beautiful. Mark, when you’re ready.”

Johnny popped into Mark’s head again as Jackie rejoined hands. Johnny didn’t regret marrying Y/N. He was grateful for the time they did have. Johnny loved Y/N. Mark was sure that wherever he is, he still does.

Mark loves Jackie. He wants to spend the rest of their lives as husband and wife, no matter how long that may be. With that thought in mind, he started.

“Jackie. I love you so much,” Mark started simply. “You are my best friend, my partner in crime. When we first met, I thought you were,” Mark paused for comedic effect, “a lot.” The guests laughed a bit before quieting back down. “Who wouldn’t though? Your first words to me were ‘your hair is so fluffy, I’m gonna die.’ Now here we are, years later and you tell me the exact same thing everyday. You made me open up in a way I had been resisting, even to my closest friends. You pulled me out of myself. I was terrified of this day but being here with you, having my hands in yours just feels right. Being with you feels right. I want to feel this way the rest of both of our lives, no matter how long that is. That being said,” Mark detached his hands from Jackie’s to reach for the ring in his pocket. With the ring in hand, he held it between them.

“With this ring, I, Mark Lee,”

“With this ring, I, Johnny Seo,”

“cut you a piece of me.”

“Where you go, I will go too,”

“for you are now the start and end of me.”

“Without you, my soul will never be whole,”

“because you, Jackie Garcia, own the other half.”

“because you, Y/N L/n, own the other half.”

Mark gently caressed Jackie’s left hand to slip the ring on. Her eyes were watery but she threw her head back to prevent the tears from falling. Several sniffles could be heard from the guests as they also held back tears. An extra noticeable sniffle came from behind from Haechan, but Mark opted to ignore his cries in favor of watching his bride.

Mark’s grandfather sighed happily while patting Mark on the shoulder. His eyes displayed his wrinkles from smiling. “By the power vested in me. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss each other.”

Jackie did not hesitate to yank Mark by his hands to connect their lips. He melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around his wife. The guests let out the cheers they had been holding in since the beginning. Mark smiled against Jackie’s lips as he felt her start to cry. Pulling away slowly, Mark pecked her forehead and wiped her tears.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Lee!”

Mark and Jackie intertwined their fingers and faced all their guests who hadn’t ceased cheering for the newlyweds.

Mark knew he made the right decision.

“Mark got married today. I would have told you a while back when I got the invitation in the mail but I didn’t know if I was going. I went but I didn’t say anything to anyone and stayed in the back. Thankfully no one noticed. I would have just ruined the mood. He looked so happy. He's so in love, you should have seen it. He even used my vows to you.

“Do you remember our wedding day? How you were freaking out because most of the guests were from my side of the family while only your parents and grandma were on yours? You were scared that my family would think it was weird. I had to leave the altar just to comfort you!” Johnny let out a sad laugh at the memory.

The wind was blowing gently and the sun was setting quickly. The cemetery would be closing soon but Johnny wanted to talk to his love a bit longer. His fingers glazed her headstone. Y/N was cremated but Johnny needed something after he spread her ashes so here he was, talking to the headstone.

At the memory of the happiest day of his life, Johnny’s eyes grew moist. He continued with a broken voice, “I miss you, baby. I miss you so much. I haven’t been whole since you left. I can’t move on. I want to be with you.” The wind picked up slightly but Johnny could feel it.

“I know.” Johnny laid down to rest his head on the stone. “I know you don’t like when I say that. I’m sorry, my love.”

He stared at the falling sky in silence. He released a shaky breath and felt a tear fall.

“I love you, Y/N.”

#please give me feedback #this is basically just to practice writing #its easier for me when I'm not making people from scratch #idk what to tag #nct angst #nct scenarios #nct #nct mark angst #nct johnny angst #nct fanfic #nct 127 #nct dream #nct fanfiction #angst #thanks

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