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luffyrose · 2 years ago

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I LIED- I'm writing more now because the idea is just brrrrrrr in my brain. Microwave noises

Lex is freaking out because Danny had told him he was going to Gotham, and now he hadn't replied to anything in hours and his location is on some random street, so definitely lost his phone, hopefully only that. Doesn't help that he went technically as a ghost, so he can't very well explain how his son got over there so that he could request someone find him- Lex really regrets his decision now.

Danny, still not fully in it and definitely not thinking, just asks why his aura is so corrupted, not thinking about it until the older dude in front of him went from confused to alarmed, realizing this guy might not even know what the heck he is. More panic ensues and Danny ends up just running. He does not want to explain any of that- Plus, he is not ready for the inevitable questions that would entail after that. So he kinda just thanks the dude, jumps out a window and runs until he can find a good spot to change. Jason was so not ready for this and lost him.

Danny is also so very grounded when he gets back. Though Lex does buy him a new and better phone, he'd been using his old one anyway.

I totally was writing this right after the first part, forgot what I was doing, and now do not remember where I was going with this????? Either way, I'm bout to bs more stuff onto this blabbering

He is not going to school, at least not in person- he's in some academy online for the time being and does technically have to go to events and other school things in person, but none have popped up yet and Danny could care less. He does like school, like, he's really good at school he just did badly in Amity because of everything that happened and his parents not being good parents.

Outside of that, more shenanigans and then some millionaire things, or hero things idk, but somehow his appearance is brought not just to metropolis heroes but the JL because idk, reasons. Supervillain has a son, which is a cause for concern in general. Batman is shocked to see him because not only does he LOOK like one of his many sons, but Danny looks quite a lot like Damian. Not very closely, but close enough to remind him of the clones they'd all had to fight before.

Either way, he brings home the picture of Danny and shows the family. Most of them are staying over at the mansion because of an upcoming Gala, even Jason, though he seems very irritable, more so than ever. When they see the picture they're also a little alarmed, seeing as Lex clearly isn't against cloning, which could mean that he somehow got Damian's DNA, or he was working with the League.

Jason wasn't in the room at the time, but coming into the room, it's the spiderman meme where he's just pointing at the screen. Just, "THE FAINTING KID" and the whole family turns to him and are like "YOU'VE MET THE LUTHOR HEIR?!?!?!?" It's a confusing time. Jason eventually gets out that he met the kid exploring, then he fainted, woke up confused, then ran. They want more answers but Jason is already walking off mumbling to himself about how he gotta ask the kid something.

So clone is definitely off the table, seeing as no clones, Lex or League, have ever actually fainted. Now it's just a confusing semi-doppelganger situation, though still concerning as Lex has like an actual child. So now it's a stakeout for any sign of Lex doing something, cause to them he is totally not a good dad, even though Danny would probably stick his tongue out at them for implying something like that.

Boopity boop, more things in between but the gala happens and Danny is there because idk millionaire things. He's generally avoiding most interactions outside of the people greeting him and Lex, though he knows that quite a few of the Waynes are staring, he puts it off as like millionaire kids seeing the new kid. Danny doesn't understand rich people after all.

Though when he sees Jason or more feels his presence this whole time then finally actually sees the other probably half. Luckily being near him in the gala gave him enough time for the corrupted ectoplasm not to shock his system. When Jason spots the other, he's determined to talk to him more, but now Danny has the realization that Lex does not in fact know that he ended up with Jason(it wasn't really a secret that Jason worked with Red Hood seeing as the vigilante was usually in Crime Alley, it was one of the only actual connections the Waynes had with the Bats and Birds).

Danny had only told him that he'd gotten distracted, dropped his phone at some point, realized too late, and then came right home. Lex hadn't fully believed him, but seeing he was fine, he accepted the excuse. He hadn't even told Lex about his old medical conditions, that was going to be a time, and Danny did not plan to talk about it any time soon.

Brain isn't braining, so yeah, that's it for now, I'm tired ksdnfj

I have fallen down the ultimate spiral. Usually falling into fandoms are ones that I know well or that I will know well because I just found an interest in them. This time, this time I've fallen into the whole dc x dp. I have no idea how or why the crossover is a thing, BUT I LOVE IT.

I'm not that big a DC fan in general, mainly because I do not have the attention span to understand what is happening (ignore the fact I've watched all of One Piece-) but I have watched all of Danny Phantom at one point or another so like, halfway there kdjnshdf

N E WAY! I was reading lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood real good, go read it https://archiveofourown.org/works/40263192 BUT THEN I SAW A POST, as I casually skim through it when bored, ABOUT JASON AND DANNY MEETING PROMPT/MINI-FIC ON HERE AND I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH IT

So now, my brain as it usually does, wants to write a fic on it. this is why I have so many notes/docs, someone please remind me to organize fdksjnfj but yeah- I might write some of it, I might not- I don't know, but I will absolutely dumb random thoughts I've had about it on you all.

Okay! So I don't see much if anything about it, but I love the idea that Danny is like, a baby in ghost terms. Like no one thought about it much because it was the equivalent of the "BABY HAS A GUN" meme and because the ghosts just wanted to cause some mayhem and have fun, it took them like 2-3 years to look at the overpowered ghost and go; "That's a child-".

Keep in mind, Danny is already technically the King of the Infinite realms via defeating Pariah Dark as well, so all the ghosts are like "a child....OUR CHILD" and now panicking over the fact that this lil ghost has not had a parent(Madie and Jack DO NOT in fact count as parents to the ghosts, or Danny's core for that matter, but it's not because they're human, like, the ghosts are more concerned about the fact that his parents aren't ACTUALLY his parents.)

Either way, Danny now has to avoid Clockwork, who knows he is a baby in ghost terms but almost adult in human terms so still 100% making him king, the ancient is kind enough to alleviate most of the jobs a king has to do at least......for now-

So most of Danny's 16, going to turn 17 soon, year old life is now school, dealing with the few ghosts who still cause him trouble even if he's a baby ghost to them, he does keep in mind how they are MUCH gentler now and tend to "give up" pretty easily instead of fighting him, and 'running' from Clockwork trying to coronate him.

Clockwork knows where he is when he 'hides' but his own ghost core, ancient as it is, can't help but humor the child.

Things go wonk as soon as his parents find out about him being a ghost, surprise surprise. His dad was shoot first, ask questions later as always, but his mom was more...mentally traumatizing my child by claiming they'll fix him and telling him how they would just have to cut him open a little to see what's wrong.

Danny gets hit by one of the shots and goes tumbling into the ghost zone, another shot hitting the portal itself and breaking it as he went through. Some ghost find him and are like "THE BABY!!!!"

Personally- my brain it's Kitty and Johnny finding him because they're more like friends now then much else. Kitty being like an older sister while Johnny is the friend he probably would have dated at some point given the situation since they're both around his age in general, being younger ghosts as well.

Either way, they panic, call Clockwork, since the whole Infinite Realms knows that they're Danny's guardian. Clockwork shows up, and is like "wuh oh" and decides this child needs a parent. BUT INSTEAD OF SENDING HIM TO SOMEONE CONVENTIONAL HE'S JUST LIKE WOOPPSSYYYYY *Throws a very injured and not that conscious Danny at Lex Luthor*

Lex is, despite telling himself he's not, already this random meta-adjacent kid's dad. He's sold. Be it the obvious parental neglect/abuse like he had or the fact that he didn't know he had enough of a heart not to abandoned a hurt child who knows-

Also just as a tangent, Danny 100% talks about clones one times and the two have a long talk about the sentience of clones, because like, Lex didn't think about it in a way that Clones, albeit creations of science more so, are still very sentient beings unlike other scientific creations. And depending on the type of clone, they are much much more human. Cue Lex having a mental breakdown in his bedroom later because oh fuCK HE LEFT A CHILD WITH SO LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD WITHOUT A PARENT- you can't convince me Lex wouldn't be a good dad solely to spite his own.

Danny's adopted and Lex is concerned for sure about this, apparently ghost as he quickly learned, kid that wakes up screaming sometimes. Boy is he glad to have built his whole place around keeping prying meta's out amongst other things- He's trying his best, and Danny is confused as hell about having a good parent. Even more confused because he's rich.

Lex is like "I'm totally doing this to ask about his capabilities" before panicking over Danny getting kidnapped despite knowing the kid could float through a wall if in real danger-

Cue many arguments about if Danny can go do things in general. Lex is very much stubborn about it even though he knows Danny is part ghost. This IS partially thanks to the few weeks it even took for Danny to heal from the blast he took from his parents. Either way, Danny won that argument in the end by saying he'd just float through the walls and go if he couldn't. They settled that if going as a ghost he just had to be careful about heroes and not changing in sight if at all, and if as Danny, he had to take a few bodyguards, though they could be discreet.

Either way, once Lex actually shows the world his kid, and he is so proud to call Danny his kid, Danny gets kidnapped. This is exactly why LEX SAID NO DANNY!!! Either way he gets saved by some Metropolis hero, superman or not, and he's instantly a little shit tm to them. More so because they asked a question about Lex, maybe even implying he was a bad dad, and even if Danny doesn't see him as a dad quite yet, there is no way he's standing for that!

In the end, it's a while before Danny actually goes much further than Metropolis, thank you very much Lex, this halfa knows how to do a thing or two!

Except he runs into trouble right away, that trouble being that uh oh- his underlying health issues he'd been ignoring up until now cuz they haven't messed up since his death- ignore the fact he learn that corrupted ectoplasm makes him basically have heart attacks if in human form because hey! doesn't happen if he's a ghost and he'll just switch before it happens- yeah that suddenly acts up when he runs, in human form because he wanted some coffee, straight into Red Hood. How fun.

Jason is confused because of the pit's usual anger and call for violence, upon seeing this random teen that literally ran into him, fall over in pain. Jason is worried as well obviously like this kid is definitely sick or something, but wHAT?!

He does the only logical thing obviously! taking him to one of his hideouts and not telling anyone-

Danny wakes up, sore, confused, and hella tired. Jason is equally as confused and tired, staring at the kid as he wakes up. The icky ecto doesn't actually hurt Danny from being near it, it's more like his body is thrown into cold water suddenly and it just has a violent initial reaction. So now Danny is trying to figure out why this person, ghost?, he can't tell, has the GROSSEST ecto he's ever seen, and if he's even aware of it. Let alone how the heck he's gonna help this random ghost, because by damn he's still technically the ghost king and his obsession isn't protection for nothing-

Now we have Danny, who's been unconscious for hours might I add, sitting with a very confused Jason. Danny wants to help the ghost person, he might just start calling him a halfa, but he was wrong about Vlad being a halfa, he's actually more of an ecto-possessed person, really confusing. Jason wants to know WHY this kid is making his pit rage not only calm, but worried, so he's having a time, actually having a clear head for once outside of his concern for this random child, that he's only just realizing he technically kidnaped....and definitely has forgotten to tell anyone about- Welp, he's not telling them now, his oddly comforting child now.

I have more ideas from this but I have been writing this for a while now so like- I'll tell ya more if ya want but only then- If I ever do write this it will 100% be more angsty than my blabbering here kjfsdnjkf

#dp x dc au #dc x dp au #dc x dp #dp x dc #dcmultiverse #danny fenton #danny phantom #ghost king danny #jason todd #red hood #lex luthor #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #batfamily #dp/dc

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rainbowsky · 3 years ago

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Anonymous asked:

Hi Rainbowsky! I'm a newbie turtle and I love your tumblr and I love both of them equally. I came across some posts on YT and TWT that [redacted]. Are you familiar with this issue? Any details or clarification you can share please? Thank you ^_^

Hi, Anon, glad you're enjoying my blog!

What you've managed to stumble across are some very nasty anti accounts. Welcome to the fandom, this is part of what you're going to encounter - that, and much worse. There is a reason GG and DD are always embroiled in lawsuits against toxic people. Haters and antis will say just about anything to turn people against GG and DD.

In the international fandom this type of activity is especially widespread on Twitter and YT. This particular one is so badly Photoshopped that if you have actually ever gone on Weibo you'll immediately realize it's fake.

There are some incredibly hateful rumors and lies out there about GG and DD, often including photoshopped 'evidence' and the like. Do not be fooled. If you see or hear something that tends to make GG or DD look bad, that's likely exactly what it was created to do.

My advice is always the same: block and ignore (and report where appropriate). Do not engage, do not argue, do not spread these posts around. That's exactly what these people want you to do.

Here are just a few really good reasons to avoid these people and to avoid their posts, and to encourage others to do the same:

Discussing and sharing these posts with others - even as a 'shock and anger' sort of discussion - means unwittingly spreading the lies to more people for viewing. Even if you aren't fooled by what's being said, others might not be as capable of critical thinking as you are, and they might get sucked into believing it. It's not worth the risk.

Viewing those posts and watching those videos helps to line the pockets of the antis who made them, and helps to give them clicks and clout.

These lies are designed to have a cumulative effect. You might not believe one of them, you might not believe two or three of them, but if you immerse yourself in enough of this garbage, eventually it will sway your opinion and you might become an anti yourself.

Even if you are devoted to GG and DD and will never turn against them, exposing yourself to this type of disturbing, evil, hateful garbage WILL have an impact on your mental and emotional health. Please take care of yourself and curate your experience of fandom so that you are not exposing yourself to things that hurt you or negatively impact your well-being.

Reading/viewing anti messaging has an incredibly distorting effect on how fans perceive GG and DD's popularity and how well they're doing in the industry. Such fans eventually become almost completely incapable of celebrating and enjoying GG and DD's accomplishments or acknowledging their massive success because they're too caught up in the perception that GG and DD are hated and that everyone is out to get them.

There is one last thing I really want to emphasize, because it's a misconception a lot of new fans have, or even sometimes pick up from antis:

You do not need to know what hateful things are being said about GGDD in order to be a 'good fan'.

Some people will tell you that 'if you really cared' about them you'd inform yourself about all the hate. That's utter BS.

The best way for us to support GG and DD is to not give airtime to haters, not give them clicks, views or clout, not let their lies get any oxygen in the fandom. Shut them out. They don't deserve real estate in your brain.

EDIT: I will add that everything I said in this post also applies to hateful things being said about turtles. The more airtime we give those things and the more we spread them around through discussion, the more we help to give antis clicks and clout, and the more risk that someone along the way will be infected with those ideas. The more we read and discuss those things, the more harm we do to ourselves and each other, and the more distorted our view of turtledom becomes. Best to just block and ignore (and report where appropriate).

Here are a few related posts you might find helpful:

How I manage to keep from getting angry about antis

How what we focus on shapes who we become

Toxic fans and staying in your own lane

Why so much hate from solos?

“I heard on Twitter that BXG don’t really care about GG”

Why fan wars/arguing online is such a bad idea

Why it’s so important for our fandom to behave well online

Dealing with Antis On Tumblr

Fandom Survival Guide

#antis go home #it's in the air it's all around #really fake rumors #ask

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dontcallmecarrie · 3 years ago

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Replying to the commenters of this post [heads up for angst]:

To @kine-iende, who said:

hot damn. if "our" justin was a mom-friend in their home-universe, here people would start questioning if justin was in secret a very motherly scrull or something (and be fine with it ^^). but yeah, love the trope too. was it "for the want of a nail" or "through a mirrorm darkly"? well, contrast and a what could have been would be lovely. feel enabled, whenever you want to write this :)

I am not very familiar with the concept of Skrulls [...iirc, that’s something introduced in Captain Marvel, which I have yet to get around to], but yeah, that tracks. Assuming it’s a thing they know to look for, though, because here Justin’s being themself is the biggest and most obvious way to establish that they are not canon!Justin.

Sure, they’re identical physically, but the moment either Justin opens his mouth, the jig’s up.

As is, not five minutes into this strange hellscape where their oldest rival looked at them with no small amount of disdain in his eyes at first, Justin had already managed to charm their way out of holding and into a very relaxed “we’ll keep an eye on him” Avengers custody.

Well, on paper at least— in reality, most of the team doesn’t really give a damn one way or another, whereas Tony starts out morbidly curious as to just how different NHDD!Justin is to the one he’s used to dealing with, and ends up getting a concentrated dose of All The Feels™ because the moment NHDD!Justin realized this Tony had a metric buttload of undiagnosed-and-constantly-belittled mental health issues and a support system that was equal parts duct tape and caffeine, he went “oh, so this universe is the Hell Timeline, okay, makes sense :) :) :) dammit Ivan you’d better fix this stat”.

In retrospect, Justin’s not sure when exactly the horror show started; if it was the absolute lack of concern or care the Avengers had for their Tony, or the minute they noticed the gauntness in his face. Maybe the tension between Iron Man and Captain America, or the obvious bravado this Tony used– and the fact that none of the others so much as noticed.

All Justin knows is, a version of someone they care about is hurting, hurting badly and has been for a long time now, and that’s more than enough for them to go “oh, okay, mine now”.

For his part, Tony has no idea what the hell’s going on. The non-annoying Justin Hammer who crash-landed an Avengers debrief is...something else, and he’s torn between shock, pleasant surprise, and no small amount of existential angst and jealousy because in the span of a few hours, Tony’s had a brief taste of what some other version of him had for a lifetime, and...

Tony’s not sure how he feels about it. He’s a genius, he can wrap his head around string theory and all that good stuff, but numbers are one thing, having to live with the fact that somewhere out there, a version of him grew up with someone so unfailingly kind and supportive and—Tony can’t think of a better word for it than nurturing— and, in the span of seconds, had been able to call him out on his bullshit and seemed to instinctively push him to be better but not in the demanding way his father or the rest of the world had—

If he thinks about it too long, it makes him want to cry, just a little. Somewhere out there was a Tony who’d been enough for someone, who had never been asked to change himself, who’d been pushed up instead of repeatedly torn down and he didn’t know how to deal.

He’d thought having a non-annoying Justin around would be funny.

This was not, it was goddamn distressing is what it was, because Tony hadn’t even known it was a possibility but now he is acutely aware of the fact that he got stuck with his Justin— the human embodiment of one of those yappy dogs who nipped at people’s heels thinking they were so tough, despite not being able to back it up.

This Justin was, uh, not that. Tony wasn’t sure if he was always like this, or if it was only with him because he shared a face with someone Justin cared about, but... was he always this much of a mom friend? And where’d that granola bar even come from, anyway? Not that he minded, it was a nice change of pace, but really?

...Tony was really going to miss him, once they figured out a way to send him back home.

To the commenter who said:

Stephanie isn’t a canon character, is she? Because if not, NHDD!Justin might be able to pull off a “the birth of my little sister awakened my previously deeply buried parental instincts” to explain his whole… [gestures uselessly].

Technically, she could be, in that Justin Hammer has a sister and nephew in canon [according to the wiki and a deleted scene, apparently]. I chose to make her a younger sibling in NHDD, to really emphasize the ‘reincarnated with shitty memory’ aspect of this AU. Specifically, while it’s never specified, Justin’s past life was...not great, and part of it was the fact that their younger sibling was sick.

With what, they don’t remember anymore, but sick enough that they know health isn’t something to take for granted; sick enough that towards the end, they remember their parents had to choose between paying hospital bills and electricity, remember going to bed hungry because meds were expensive and their next paycheck wasn’t until Friday.

...suffice it is to say, there’s a reason Justin’s so protective of those he cares about, even if his memories faded a bit on the specifics as time went by.

To be fair, canon!Justin also cares for his sister and nephew; it’s just that NHDD!Justin acted more like a third parent than a sibling, once Stephanie was born.

Bear in mind that canon!Justin’s situation is very different than NHDD!Justin’s, because canon!Justin was basically set up to fail from the start as a normal kid who was constantly compared to a child prodigy two years younger than him and terrible parents. While NHDD!Justin’s situation is similar on the surface, the difference is they’re literally a reincarnated OC, with all the baggage that entails.

Maybe, if their second life hadn’t been surrounded by adults with A+ Parenting Skills, 0/10 Do Not Recommend, their issues and traumas from last time wouldn’t have been exacerbated. If they’d been born to a regular family, Justin would’ve been a good kid but nothing special, and their memories of a past life would’ve faded away by the time they hit puberty.

But instead, they were born to the Hammer family, and proceeded to be put through the wringer.

Which is bad enough, and meant they immediately started leaning hard on everything from their past life because these people wouldn’t know good parenting if it bit them on the nose, but...then Justin’s little sister was born, which immediately kick-started every older sibling instinct they’d ever had because last time they’d been responsible for their younger sibling’s health and safety and you can probably see where this is going.

aka yes, some of Justin’s behaviors could arguably be called trauma responses and/or coping mechanisms and it’s something I only realized as I was writing this, and no, this AU was not supposed to be this messed up

Justin’s responsibility, their willingness to deal with shitty parents and do tremendous amounts of emotional labor if it helped anyone they took under their wing? That’s no accident, that’s what happens when a soul has to be the adult, has to step up because nobody else is going to. There’s a reason Justin has so much disdain for Hank Pym and Howard Stark’s immaturity, why they have so little patience for their parents as time goes on; their mental age means the older they get, the more they’re looking at the adults around them and judging them hard.

...ahem. Sorry for getting a bit off-topic, but hey, at least now you know a bit more about what’s going on inside Justin’s head!

And yeah, if he had to bs an explanation for why he’s such a mom friend, Justin’d be more than happy to point to his little sister as an excuse. So long as they know she exists, anyway; if not, he’ll just laugh it off and try to chalk it up to one of the differences between their universes.

edit to remove the stuff that got through my nonexistent brain-to-mouth filter because I was averaging a not-optimal amount of sleep as I got used to my new job

#No Hero [Downward Descending]#Naught replies #replies #thinking aloud

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canmom · 3 years ago

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I hate to dig into it (so please feel free to ignore this ask) but, as someone (non-white trans woman) who’s been waffling back and forth on BS for like the last several years since I got more into sff and learned about... all of that shit, what was her involvement w everything with Isabel Fall? I admit I mostly understand that BS keeps to her small circle on Twitter, and so I didn’t really see her around at all when this went down, so I’m curious (another stone to drop on my scales of justice labeled “so should I think BS is a person/artist worth investing time and emotion in or not”...)

i don't know that i necessarily want to rehearse old drama, but i did bring this up. please once again don't reblog this.

so B.S. was pretty loud in denouncing the story during the first part of the isabel fall furore. at the time one of her partners (i forget the name) wrote a 'parody' of the story on pastebin titled "CHALLENGING STORY TO BLOW YOUR TINY WOKESCOLD BRAINS WITH HOW POWERFUL AND MESSY IT IS" (not linking because i don't particularly want to propagate it) which she shared - the substance of the critique is pretty much right there in the title, conflating simultaneously the actual helicopter story, Mika/surfaces.cx genre of transgressive fiction and Felker-Martin’s whole brand of ‘queer and messy’. Tiny Wokescold Brains was a very tortured critique with lines like

Anyways, my body was filled with all kinds of additional sicknasty cybernetics, because what is a story that is intended to be pro-green without a horrified fetishization of technology as simultaneously annihilating and alluring? I was currently using them to heft an enormous fucking laser gun, which we totally have in the near future where this story is set so it seems topical. Sure, you might think that this kind of acceptance of gee-whiz shit is just a plausibly deniable form of military fetishism. But it’s not, OK? Just read this goddamned amazing, challenging, incredible story written by a fucking goddess in the flesh, someone whose brain is so vast it actually sucks the brains out from everyone else in the room.

and so on in that vein; it was just totally out of line as a criticism, even if you think there's some basis for it then it goes way further than is justifiable. no doubt the author was working through some shit but she chose a very public furore to try it at the expense of someone's first story as an out tw while missing what that story was actually doing. isabel fall never boasted about how mindblowing and messy her story is, she dropped it with no comment whatsoever; yet for the criticism to work she had to have been boasting.

anyway the reason i cite this as particularly reprehensible was that that (as she mentioned in that interview that went round) Fall, in typical early transition scrupulosity mode, went out of her way to read all criticism of the story. which, given just how vicious that 'parody' is, and how specifically it would have played on her anxieties, I find it very likely (though not directly confirmed) that she read the story and it affected her very badly. it would certainly have done a number on me in similar circumstances.

so i was disgusted by the way B.S. weighed in there because, it was so obviously her old tricks as requireshate but like, carefully calibrated to go after someone who at the time was seen as an acceptable target; it so happened that public opinion reversed a bit later and people started to twig that they'd really done a bad one here and B.S. shut up about it. just like when she used to habitually rip into 'some dude on reddit' offering (allegedly) bad writing advice before i unfollowed her; the point is to be able to spectacularly tear someone down online, no matter the consequences, and she just got better at picking her battles.

it took me so long to realise because 1. i'm an idiot cultist 2. she's very good at dressing stuff up in the sj language of the era, but she's just a garden variety bully and I would rather have nothing more to do with her. I still believe that coterie of white women sf writers did some reprehensible shit in building a whole stalker's dossier and patting each other on the back for it after B.S. dared to criticise some crappy book that a white woman wrote about thailand, but it's like... they all deserve each other basically.

at this point i basically believe the right thing to do with 'SFF' genre writing, certainly as far as concerns the mainstream publishing and fandom industry, is to extricate yourself as quickly as possible and find much less cultish avenues to write in.

and i will say one thing for surfaces.cx-brand webfiction which is that it's like, as much as it can be empty edginess and scene-performance, it's generally not trying to pretend to some false virtue as the progressive light of the future. at this point I regard all such claims with total distrust; it's all scene politics and "I dis/liked this book and want to make that legit" when you get down to it.

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tera-starstorm · 3 years ago

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Not sure if this was asked before, but whats Yasutas relationship like with the gym leaders? What was his first impressions on em? (Also Im so happy Im not the only one ever who can only think about ocs omdhfshd theyre so fun to infodump about)

OH okay okay. this is a good one. also lord knows i do not know how to shut my mouth about my little brain amoebas. here goes

okay so i'll probably talk a bit broadly about most of the gym leaders and his relationship to them since there's so many. but In General! they fucking love him especially after he's become champion and is officially part of the league. he's kind of like the universal little brother of the place despite being the literal champion and technical strongest trainer there (except to allister who is younger than he is. yasu is more older brother to him of course). he's obviously not too sure what he's doing when he first becomes champion and is pretty shy and they collectively find it kind of endearing. it's nice to see a vulnerable side of the champion like that, especially one who isn't super expressive and is pretty introverted.

now there Are a couple gym leaders of note that he gets along well with and i'll list them quickly here! just some little notes.

Raihan - yasuta's actually known him since he was younger since he's friends with leon (same with sonia. she's not a leader but i felt like mentioning it! lee, raihan, and sonia are a funny little friend group i think). raihan always thought he was funny as hell when he was a kid because when broke his mutism he was just so blunt. he and sonia were over when leon would babysit yasu and hop sometimes. yasuta used to beat him and everyone else there in mario kart really badly and raihan would play it off like nothing but internally hes like "what the hell. what the hell i just got beaten in mario kart by a ten year old". this was foreshadowing. anyways he's one of the main contenders in "gym leaders who are brotherly/sisterly to yasuta". loves to offer advice and thoughts about how to handle social stuff to him since yasuta struggles w/ that and rai is really good with it. also they have a similar sense of humor i think.

Allister - as previously mentioned i think yasuta's older brother instinct kicks in with allister. he's actually pretty good with kids and really understands particularly quiet and anxious ones since he was like that as a kid (and to an extent still is honestly. he's doing better though) and he has an urge to just... make sure he's doing alright and isn't letting the competitive nature of the challenge get to him

Nessa - i don't even know what tells me they'd get along well i just think they would. they have a similar interest in fashion and personality wise are pretty similar - nessa's just more extroverted. i think she'd stick up for him if they were in a situation where he needed it (stuff like invasive reporters trying to get to him or irate audience members) because she just doesn't stand for BS like that and knows he's very conflict avoidant and mild mannered. very sisterly towards him

Melony - i don't have as much to say here but i just want to mention i think she would think he's so cute and is super encouraging towards him. she can read him like a book which most people can't even begin to do due to his way of expressing. it's the mom instinct

and see this is all nice because he doesn't often get to feel like the one being taken care of since he struggles to be vulnerable and has that natural older brother instinct. he's not used to feeling like the younger and more inexperienced one in any situation and is probably embarrassed about it but really appreciates that they all support him in the way that they do!

#pokemon sword and shield #pokemon swsh #swsh #swsh oc #pokemon oc #pokemon #pkmn swsh #pkmn oc #magnus infodumps #swsh: crimson aegis

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bittybattybunny · 3 years ago

Note

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

#ask #anon #not art #long post #sorry im just in a bad spot tonight I guess #like i started my day pretty okay but somewhere along the way it nose dived and I'm just trying to not cry in my room

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420pogpills · 3 years ago

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part 3 of asks! part 1 part 2

yeah i know he said that, what's why i found his behaviour so odd. he was saying how he thinks george doesn't try that hard, and in last night's stream george was genuinely try-harding, and dream kept sabotaging him it was just v weird. like i know ofc dream doesn't mean it, he praises george to the high heavens haha. but it just wasn't like very fun to watch him be like that when george was trying so hard to win :')

it's just genuinely been so goddamn LONGGGG since we got solo george :( i know he probably prefers streaming with his friends it's more fun and what not but omg i really really want a solo stream! or maybe half solo, and then someone joins in the other half, as long as the vibes stay good

bro he doesn't just have a comp sci degree, he got a FIRST, which is the highest classification you can get for a ba/bs. it's very impressive! i do hope he ends up doing a nice chill coding stream one day :D here at tumblr it's full of gogy simps, we appreciate his brains!

haha ikr oh my god his tolerance is something else. georgeeee clink clink spare some change in the form of tolerance?? i need it so badly because mine is so insanely thin, i scream at my door if my clothing catches on the handle

yeah this is always why i try my best to word myself carefully because i don't want to sit here and preach like i know what george is feeling. i don't need to defend george from his own friends and i have no plans of doing that :') but i am allowed to say how i, as a viewer, feel about what i saw and how i would feel in the situation! :) us getting a little upset about how george was treated is not the same as us going 'uwu gogy i wish i could hug him that was so mean dream is awful booooooo'.. it was just an unfair situation, and regardless we're allowed to project, and people are allowed to agree or disagree. we can all just discuss it in a calm manner :)

yeah karl seems to be super busy atm, i've not seen him open up minecraft in forever i feel like! that would be the most hilarious team in existence oh my god i would love that :')

yeah it can get very frustrating. not babying george should not mean you can insult him and put a joking or lighthearted tone indicator behind it. i feel like george's 'pretty privilege' is a double-edged sword. it feels like most people know him now for being the pretty one and a lot of people act like that's all there is. george fans get ridiculed a lot because people think we just watch him cause he's attractive. which is like??? why would i sit there for 2-3 hours of a stream just to look at someone's face? i literally sometimes just put on his calm solo streams in the background because i find his vibe relaxing, i don't even watch it. why would i do that if i only liked him for his face? he's not even my type anyway :'))) i just appreciate that he's a beautiful beautiful man, but i would never waste my time to watch someone just because of what they look like.

in general, people need to remember that these streamers are real people with feelings. and their job is on the internet, so they spend a lot of time on social media, and if you write a nasty comment about them, there actually is a high chance they will see it. i wish people just stayed respectful, and realised that their words carry weight :)

yeah i think they struggle a LOT with streaming etiquette. i feel like after all this time, they are aware of how people perceive them (after having to point out several times that george can take a joke that it's not that serious etc etc) they know that people get a little upset at these things. i get maybe like in the moment if they're really high strung or just frustrated, they just do what they do and don't think about the fact that over 100k people are witnessing them do it. which yeah, i think sometimes their arguments or disagreements get too personal - and they are friends so they are fine with it, but we don't know their thought process, we don't know them the way they know each other, so we just see what's on the surface. and on the surface it often looks like a negative situation, and people get either worried or upset or frustrated.

because here's the thing - we watch streams to enjoy ourselves. george is my favourite streamer, and my idea of enjoyment isn't to see him trying hard to win at something and his friends sabotaging him, getting in the way and acting like he's incapable of achieving something by himself :') and a toxic vibe is just no fun to watch. i get that that's their friendship and like i'm not saying they should change anything about it - but there's nothing wrong with us venting, with expressing ourselves and releasing our frustrations. we are all allowed to feel different things. just because i'm not a fan of how george was treated, doesn't mean i'm trying to baby him. if i was babying him, i'd be @'ing dream and co on twitter and demanding he apologise lmao. saying i think it was unfair of them to say george was being carried when george was doing fine on his own is not the equivalent of babying someone.

#ask #anon #cw negative #cw negativity #i've done these in parts because apparently you're only allowed 10 pics per post haha #dream team discourse

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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immj2 07.11.20 lb

LMAO WTF IS THIS TITLE CARD, MAHA PRATIGYA IT SEEMS

oh boy what's the favour??? knowing this dude, it could be some realllllll freaky shit.

oh thank god. normal cheez. “aaj raat mujhe akela mat chodna.”

also dude, he is sooooooooo manipulating her. he's learnt that isko daraake, dhamkaake, PARALYSE karke, kuchhhhh nahi hone waala. the way to get her is to be vulnerable and play on the emotional side of things. and that's what he's doing.

rrahul's eye makeup >>>>>>>>>> all the female characters' eye makeup.

aaaaaaaand he's out like a light. yeah, crying does that to you. best cure for insomnia. the sleep after weeping your guts out just hits different.

lol it's just hilarious to see him lying there all sprawled out on the floor on this..... random platform. itnaaaaaaaaaa bada ghar hai, and this is where he decides to sleep after a long, tiringass day.

“pehli baar tumne mujhse kuch maanga hai vansh, but i'm sorry main usse poora nahi karr paungi. mujhe aaj raat tumhe chod kar jaana hoga; meri jiss galti ne tumhe itna tod diya hai usse sudhaarne jaa rahi hoon.”

i mean, ok i get it, but at least could have gently led him to the room instead of leaving him here lying on the living room floor. harsh af.

i bet he's not really sleeping and is listening to allllllllll of this confession she's doing. that's the kinda shady shit i always did when i had sleepovers with my older cousins and wanted to listen to all the juicy goss. and vansh deffffff gives me scorpio vibes, lol.

ok one tiny sweet moment.

“kyun maine yeh bewakoofi kii, bappa?”

that's what they should name the show. coz literally what else is the plot other than riddhima fucking up 30 different ways per week?

not listening to her and just admiring her skin. very healthy, much glowy. wow. spill the list of products you use, sis.

wait, is being stupid good for the skin???? is that why everyone on tellywood has good skin and the rest of us have blah skin?

lol this fucking dumbass mask. it’s neither an alien mask, nor the ghostface mask, bas one ajeeb off-brand mashup of both.

jor jor se chilla ke sabko apna fuckup bol rahi hai. ouffffffff, kuchhhhhh bhi baat she can't fucking just keep in her brain or what, without verbalizing??

“koi tha kya???” sis, how long you been living in this house???? ofc koi tha.

walks into kabir's house and narrrrrrrrrrowly misses getting brained. looks like kabir has his mom's poor aim.

did he know she was coming, or did he really do this to himself in frustration? in which case, yikes. both the men in this show really don't know how to deal with setbacks well, huh???

“kahan hai ragini, mujhe usko vansh ko wapas dena hai.” lmaooooooooooo sis, she's a wholeasssssss person, not a copy of the da vinci code you borrowed.

“kho gayi mujhse!” lol what the fuck is wrong with you ppl, she's a living human being, not an object, stop talking about her like this!?!?

lmao this set of caps is just making me giggle a lot.

kabir saying someone else kidnapped ragini and took. i don't believe him. dal is looking quiteeeeeeee kaala to me.

mmmmmmmmm kaali dal. could use some rn. *looking up dhaabas nearby*

“aisa lag raha tha jaise main kisi parchaayi se bhid gaya tha!”

aaaaaand riddhima's dimaag ka ghoda is off to the races, thinking about the shadow following her.

my question is how kabir would know about shadow person????? mommy dumbest toh apne aankhon ke saamne waali cheez bhi nahi dekh paati, let alone something like this, and then informing kabir about it.

kabir like, sure. let's go with that theory.

lmaooooooooo riddhima giving passionate argument about vansh's dard aur taqleef and kabir is like:

snort. seriously, she needs to go a lil light on this. aur kuch nahi toh she should at least think that this is her new man she's talking about to her ex she dumped 2 days ago.

lol what badly done photoshop on chacha/chachi. you couldn't just get the whole cast together to take a legit pic????

also why is everyone so weirdlyyyyyyyyyy distant??? this is suchhhh an odd family photo. only dadi and riddhima look normal in it.

riddhima mentally making a list. crossing dadi and siya off it. BIG MISTAKE SIS. IN THIS SHOW, YOU DON'T LEAVE ANYONE OUT.

ishani and angre are also out. coz they're #teamVansh.

chacha and chachi are out coz they fattus, lol.

bache the two mega bitches of this house: aryan aur mummy.

battle of the two stoopids.

but it does make me lol every time aryan asks riddhima what new kaand she's up to now, and if he can join.

both talking about completely different things and ainvayi mein giving tashan to each other. fuckinggggggg idiotsssss.

lmao wtf, why did they randomly leave a shoe behind?????? so dumb.

ghoom phir ke why does she just keeeeep coming back here and looking for random shit??? the one time what she was actually looking for was here (sejal) she didn't find it.

such a randommmm place to come stash your snooping wardrobe.

ugh riddhima did you seriously leave vansh sleeping god-knows-where (where the fuck is he anyway????????) for this bs????/

these two idiots are back here looking for clues. whatcha wanna bet Mrs. Dumbass dropped one of her 30 million pieces of jewelry here on one of her multiple visits.

why the fuck is he telling angre HOW to look for clues, i thought he said angre had an investigation agency of his own???? does he tell YOU how to do your job of......... idk, how to use tally or peachtree or whatever the fuck?

“hum toh bas clue dhoond rahe the, yahaan toh poora crime scene hi hai!”

lmao cheeeeee who’s writing such shit dialogue???

has anyone who does these computer mockup thingys for tellywood ever used a computer after 2004? like, why do these things look so damn janky?????

lots of faltu ka growling and screaming at angre as if he was the one who corrupted the file. idk why the fuck he puts up with vansh’s shit. i don’t think he’s even paid anymore now that he’s part of the family.

“kuch hi pal ka intezaar hai. uske baad apne maut ki ulti ginti shuru kar dena MR. KIDNAPPER!!!!!!!!”

holy shit the mega bad dialogue and acting. i just cannot.

also hey!!!! it's 2020. THE KIDNAPPER CAN BE A WOMAN, YOU MISOGYNIST FUCK!!!!!!! AND IT IS!!!!!!! stop underestimating your dumbass wife.

also what happened to i could never kill coz i'm not a criminal/murderer???????!?! kuch bhi, ainvayi. baaton ke ameer, dil ke gareeb, kabhi na jaayein ishwar ke kareeb.

riddhima hamming it up to lure shadow person.

bhaagam bhaag.

lol the wayyyyyyyyyy they got awayyyy. literally just ran under the staircase and the other way.

ok but explain to me how the HELL would there be such geele footprints HERE in the middle, after the person ran like alllllllllll around the house????

heroine running in to save siya......

“thank god siya so rahi hai!” she says, AS IF SHE DIDN'T USE THIS EXACT PILLOW TRICK TO FUCK VANSH OVER 2 NIGHTS AGO. dunggggg for brains, honestly.

yup. finally discovered it.

“chehra dikhao nahi toh chila chila ke sab ko ikkhatta kar doongi!” WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO THAT ANYWAY?????????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....

once again, literally no one is surprised. 🙄🙄🙄

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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quwarichi · 4 years ago

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My reactions+summaries for SPN S5-15 PT.3:

Supernatural Episodes (that were memorable to me):

Currently: S15E20

[Disclaimer: these were written as I was watching each episode for the first time. It’s literally my brain vomit. Let it be known that I watched the series from season 1 but only around season 5 it occured to me that I might want to remember some episodes, so this was created. I am a pretty big destiel shipper, but it only shows here when I absolutely can’t contain myself. You can enjoy my reactions without shipping them. HAVE AT IT]

Seasons 14-15:

S14:

S14E01: Hey look Dean has a funny hat now. Haha. And that's the only thing different. Oh wait where did the plaid go? Guess he burned his clothes in an accident and changed into something nearby. Alright. OH WAIT WHERE DID DEAN GO. Sam is tired. Jack is learning how to fight from Bobby. Good on him. Castiel is suffering. A demon knows more about Destiel than Cas does *wink wink* Bless that demon. Give him a raise for the wonderful words he said. Praise. Scratch that he just started a demon gang fight against Cas fuck them up good Cas don't leave survivors. Stop beating Castiel up you know he's taking it easy on you otherwise all of you would be fried chickens. "Sister Jo" is back in business. [Side note: Jensen and Daneel shooting this scene together had me dying the writers did that on purpose]. Michael visits Anael. Jack is sad. Cas is hurt. Lucifer is alive. Oh wait it's Nick. Why is Nick. How is Nick. Nick is pretty understanding and nice. Nick. Hm. The demons got Cas how dare they you fuckers, you motherfuckers I WiLL rAiN hElL FiRE UPoN yOu. Sam is sad and missing Dean. Mary is too. Sam should have hidden the knife in his hair. Cas is embarrassed. Jack gets caught. The demon wants to replace Crowley. How dare he. Awesome action scene. Keep expecting Dean to show up and beat someone up. Cas and Sam miss Dean. Cas and Jack talk about losing their powers. Sam misses Dean. Michael helps monsters now?

S14E02: Hey look Michael's a dick who knew. Srsly fuck him. Cas can't help and is sad. He is also a babysitter to Satan's former vessel and Satan's child. Is Jack Nick's sort-of son or is that taking it too far? Questions for later. Lucifer is now the Supreme Agent of Evil. Cas is sassy. Jack is adorable and needs hugs. Cas is trying to be nice to Nick. Nick is suffering. Castiel feels different. He feels like he matured and grown a lot. Like he's more at peace with himself. He says that when he Fell he still had Sam and Dean which is so adorable. Cas gives Jack a beautiful talk. Michael is wearing a tux, which looks great on Dean but horrible on him. Dean yells at him to get out. Nick is sad and still has Lucifer instincts. Nick is sadder now. He wants his family back. Cas is amazing in this episode. Kudos, truly. He just admits he understands Nick's situation because he occupies Jimmy's vessel. Woah. Nick just said Castiel is a body-snatcher and he's no different than Lucifer. How dare he. How DARE YOU. CASTIEL HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT KIND TO YOU. HE TRIED TO BE CALM. HE TRIED EXPLAINING AND SYMPATHIZES WITH YOU AND YOU GO AND CALL HIM THAT. WHY. JUST... WHY??? CAS STILL FEELS AWFUL FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO JIMMY AND HIS FAMILY. HE NEVER WANTED THAT. FUCK YOU NICK. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. Jack went to visit his grandparents can he get any more adorable I mean OH MY CHUCK LOOK AT HIM. He tells them Kelly had a baby boy and they're so HAPPY HIJFKDHDUHEJDUDH. Jack dear I know you just met your family and you're emotional but saying Dean doesn't matter is like a death sentence in the fandom so tread lightly. Nick is channeling his inner Lucifer. Dean is BACK BABY.

S14E03: Dean doesn't NOT like Sam's beard. Jack, Cas, and Dean reunite. Jack likes Disney confirmed. A girl asked Jack if Cas is his dad and he says Cas is one of his dads OMG OMG OMG. Jack is heartbroken he couldn't help the girl and Cas feels awful for him. Honestly Cas has been through so much lately and he didn't even get the chance to hug Dean when he came back. Jack saved Lora. Cas apologies to Jack. Bless Cas. He's a freaking Angel. Cas is so freaking adorable and he's such a dad for Jack and they're like hey dad hey son and omg omg omg gaaaaaaaaah they're adorable. He's making Jack SOUP. FREAKING SOUP. Something's wrong with Jack why are you coughing blood no no no no no bad blood.

S14E04: Dean likes horror movies now. Sam's beard is gone. Dean's inner fanboy is coming out. It's one of these episodes. Sam is so excited. Dean is fangirling. DEAN IS IN GLASSES PART 3 OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Fortnight has unfortunately bled into the Supernatural universe and we have to live with that fact now. Dean is, fortunately, a Zelda fan so we're good on that front. Sam is a nerd. Dean is concerned. Sam meets his female counterpart. Sam has trauma from Halloween. Dean wants to have Halloween with Sam so badly awwwww.

S14E05: Dean and Sam run into Bobby and Mary. Sam is nervous about talking to his mom about her dating life. Bobby and Mary are sort of a thing now and Dean is okay with that. He just wants his mom to be happy.

S14E06: Sam and Charlie are very awkward. Hooray. Jack is suffering because his coffee doesn't taste right. Sam looks so happy playing with a fidgetspiner. Jack and Dean are being Hunting Buddies ™. Jack just learned what courting before dating before sex is and Dean is not happy or comfortable about that conversation. Other Dimension Charlie had a love of her life but she died. Jack asks Dean about courting over pie and it's adorable. Dean says that when they get back to the bunker he'll give Jack the talk. Hooray! Jack and Dean play the "bad cop, hero saves the damsel" plan and it works fantastic. Jack calls Dean old and Dean looks so offended it actually hurt him OMG. Some girl has a crush on Jack now. Jack is very confused. Hunter!Jack is very awkward and adorable. Is Jack on a date? I think he's on a date. Is he even allowed to go on dates yet? Dean didn't give him the talk. Hm. What would Cas think? And Sam, Sam would be very confused about it too. Hm. Definitely sensing some romance in the air. Approving of that. Oh BOI SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Oh wait of course not Jack was raised by Cas who are we fooling of course he wanted to use the bathroom. Dean calls Jack and he's like "Hey so I'm pretty sure she's in love with me so tell me everything you know about sex. Go!" Dean is not having ANY OF THAT BS RN. Vans? Vans! Vans. Dear lord Jack should get an acting award *ba-dum-tss*. Dean be giving out relationship advice like he's some sort of expert when in reality his emotions are so constipated he needs to swallow Dulcolax to communicate with others. Jack has a crazy fan now. He follows in Sam's footsteps and got himself a Becky. Congrats? Jack is coughing again. And now he's bleeding from his nose. No. Nope. Not happening. Denial, ACTIVATE!

S14E07: So... Nick is slowly losing it. Or very quickly losing it. Depends on how you look at it. Cas is watching over Jack and tries healing him. Jack is really bad shape. They take him to a hospital. Cas does NOT have time for bureaucracy. Three worried fathers watch as their kid suffers and it HURTTS. Jack's body is shutting down and they're suffering. Cas just gave Jack his trenchcoat so now we have a trenchcoatless Cas and a trenchcoated Jack. Rowena is BACK BABY. Jack meets Rowena. Cas is so ready to give his grace for Jack. Dean is taking Jack on a fun day. He's teaching Jack how to drive awwwww. Dean and Jack are awesome. Cas feels helpless. Cas calls Jack Sam, Dean, and his' son OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I'M HAVING A FUCKING SEIZURE. Jack and Dean are eating burgers on the impala and have fun. Meanwhile Nick is on hunt for his family's killer, being as adorable and questionable as ever. DEAN AND JACK ARE F***CKING FISHING. Jack wanted to go fishing because Dean said he went fishing with John and it was a happy memory for him and Jack considers Dean a father figure GAAAAAH IT HURTSSS. WHY IS JACK SO AT PEACE WITH DYING LIKE WHAT THE FRICK NOOOOO. AND WHY IS CAS DRIVING A TINY BLUE CAR WHO GAVE HIM PERMISSION TO BE ADORABLE. Do you ever wonder how many times a week Castiel thinks about the story Gabriel wrote on the walls of his bunker room about his time in Monte Carlo with the porn stars? He read the entire story, just summarised it for Sam. So he KNOWS everything. Things to wonder about. Nick is channeling his Lucifer or Lucifer is channeling his Nick they are one it's scary. Jack is being healed? Is he healed? He's HEALED. Jack is BACK BABY!!! Cas and Dean look so relieved. Wait why is he staggering. Why is he coughing. Cas is so pissed at the Shaman. CAS IS A PISSED OFF FATHER. CAS IS AMAZING. FREAKING DAD CAS FOR THE RESCUE. It feels like this is a setup for Lucifer to come back. Not sure how to feel about that. Um. Ummmm... Empty do your freaking job and keep him asleep. JACK IS DYING FREAKING KILL ME WHYYYY.

S14E08: Jack doesn't want them to be sad. Dean is not okay. None of them are okay. Cas is also worried about Dean. Jack is being optimistic about things and it hurts. WHAT. WHAT. HE CAN'T DIE. NO. NOOO. DEAN DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS NOOOO. CAS IS IN SO MUCH PAIN BUT HE'S STILL WORRYING ABOUT SAM AND DEAN OH MY GOD WHYYYYY. CAS WANTED JACK TO DIE A LONG TIME AFTER HIM. THEY'RE GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER TO DULL THE PAIN WOW THIS IS HURTING HAHAHA I'M NOT CRYING FUCK YOU MY EYES ARE LEAKING. THEY'RE EATING NOUGAT BARS THAT JACK LIKED. CAS DOESN'T EVEN EAT FOOD IT TASTE LIKE MOLECULES TO HIM. Jack is in Heaven but Empty is slowly taking over Heaven. Jack meets Kelly in Heaven. Kelly is so happy to see him until she realized he died. Anubis is an odd fellow. Cas is so happy seeing Cas again. And Kelly too. Empty has invaded Jack and Kelly's Heaven. Shit is about to go DOWN. Dean and Sam consider Jack their child. EMPTY IS HURTING CAS AND KELLY WHILE JACK IS WATCHING. CAS SAVE JACK. WAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL FUCKING END YOU EMPTY YOU SON OF A THING. CASTIEL HOW COULD YOU. Cas doesn't want Sam and Dean to worry. He says he's in peace with his decision. IN PEACE MY ASSBUTT! LISTEN HERE YOU EMOTIONALLY INCAPABLE ANGEL, YOU HAVE DONE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE EARTH. YOU SACRIFICED FROM YOURSELF THINGS OTHERS WOULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE. YOU GAVE UP HEAVEN FOR SAM AND DEAN. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND THEN YOU MAKE A DEAL THAT THE SECOND YOU'RE HAPPY YOU'LL DIE??? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE??? In other news Jack and Kelly hugged and it was beautiful. Jack promises not to tell Sam and Dean about what Cas did. Jack is BACK BABY. Dean hugged Jack. Get the fuck away from Cas you Naomi Bitch. Jack is happy to eat burgers again. Is Jack wearing Dean's robe?

S14E09: Is this a Christmas episode? Why, I think it is. Hey look Michael is a woman now. Wait Garth NoooOOooo you can't do it. Oh wow he has a little girl now. Jack is guiltily eating cereal in the middle of the night and Cas catches him. Sam is apparently acting like a mom. Wow. Cas is being a sassy angel. Castiel likes the toys that come in the cereal box. OMG why are Jack and Cas so cute. Cas is happy Dean is feeling better but he feels guilty about lying to him about the deal. Jack is happy he can pick a lock now. HELP THEY KIDNAPPED JACK. FUCK YOU MICHAEL. Awww they're going on a family hunting trip! Team Free Will 2.0 VS Kansas City. Awww. *The hellish version of a Christmas song plays in the background*. JACK IS FUCKING SMILING. Okay so Michael I'm gonna need you to get out of Dean you sick son of a Chuck. 'Freaking ruined the Christmas episode.

S14E10: Awww they brought Pamela back! Also Dean owns a bar and he likes to flirt. He looks so happy owning a bar. Michael is sassy, and it's almost likeable. Probably because it's Dean's face. Michael is trying to get underneath Cas' skin and Cas looks so done with it. One of Dean's happy memories is the stripper case with Sam. FUCK MICHAEL. FUCK HIM SO HARD. HOW DARE HE. HE JUST SAID DEAN ONLY TOLERATES CAS BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE OWES HIM FOR HELL AND CAS HASN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR DEAN EVER SINCE. *Cue epic fight scene* Hey look Dean is a cage now. Cas is so worried about Jack's soul.

S14E11: Dean is acting suspiciously. Sam's aware he and Dean only hug if it's of the world I'm dyinggg. Sam likes gossiping apparently. Dean came to visit Mary awww. Dean is now a welding master. Well now Nick is being arrested by Donna and now Donna might be about to die and NOPE. Dean is being really sweet and it's freaking everyone out. Mary thinks Dean's adorable when he's sleeping. Nick is being creepy and kidnapping Mary. Nick without Lucifer is unlikeable at best. Mary keeps a severed head in a jar. Dean tells Sam he loves him. He shows Sam a box he plans on being buried alive in the ocean with Michael inside of it and yeah so that's not happening.

S14E12: Dean has a nightmare about being stuck in his coffin forever. Sam calls Cas. Dean says he knows he wasn't the greatest brother for Sam and Sam has this 'WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL' look on his face because that is some grade A+ bullshit right there. Cas gets a call from Dean and he's so excited because he thinks Dean is giving up his plan but Dean tells him he's not so Cas is sad. Cas is so pissed at Dean. Dean and Cas have an argument/goodbye. Dean and Sam argue. It hurts. It hurts so much. He punched Dean and then he hugged him. He tells Sam and Cas he believes in them. In all of them. Oh well I guess that if Dean gets trapped in a box at least Cas will never be taken by the Empty since he'll never be happy HAHAHAHA KILL ME NOW.

S14E13: This episode is about the city the bunker's in OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Someone stole Baby. There's a kid who thinks they're serial killers, which they are, but not exactly. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. JOHN??? OF ALL THE PEOPLE, JOHN? WAS THAT EVEN AN OPTION??? WHAT THE FUCK???!!! MARY AND JOHN FINALLY SEE EACH OTHER AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. And Sam and Dean witness it. Sam is very awkward with John. Oh wow. So, they pulled John out of 2003 and it has changed history and now Sam likes raw food and standing desks and runs a law firm and Dean is a murderer and thief with a price on his head. Hm. Zach and Cas are reunited as bad angels no no no no THIS IS BAD. OH WELL AT LEAST CAS DOESN'T UNDERSTAND POP CULTURE REFERENCES ANYMORE. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Cas is a killer now NoooOOooo. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Cas doesn't recognize Dean and Sam as his friends. Cas is beating up Dean and Sam. Noooo. This is weird. No. Nope. Not happening. Cue the awkwardness of a family dinner. When you remember that everyone at that table died at least once it's very very weird. A family who defied Death, God, the Darkness, Demons, Angels, Monsters, and a few nasty humans here and there. Wow. Dean actually has some self-love speech and it is amazing. The character development is just *chef's kiss*. Why is this so beautiful Sam stop crying you know it makes Dean cry and when Dean cries I cry stopp it.

S14E14: Family hunting trip time! Oh look Rowena is also there! Rowena has some sort of attraction to Cas and it's chilling. Cas and Dean are on some sort of a coffee date. Jack is coughing blood again. Someone stop it. Cas is worried about Dean. Dean is only honest with Cas awwwwwww. Cas asks Jack if he's fine. Cas worries about everyone but when will someone worry about Cas? Jack, Cas, and Dean look like two parents and a child. Jack asks what an AV club is and Cas explains and then Dean calls Cas a dork. They're adorable. Cas is a VERY serious FBI agent. Rowena and Sam need to act like a married couple and it's AMAZING. MORE. GIVE THE FANDOM MORE. Jack has suffered at the vet's office. The Gorgon is hitting on Cas. Wait till Dean hears about that. Cas has been paralyzed. Cas is worried about Dean. That's strike 2. Another moment of Cas being worried and someone is about to die. Cas explains to Jack about the fragility of humans and death and moving on which makes you believe he thought about a time when Dean and Sam die and he's left all alone and now I want to walk off a cliff. Michael is out. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. JACK CALLED HIMSELF A WINCHESTER OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Jack got his wings back!

S14E15: Jack is playing with his snake. Cas is worried about Jack. Dean is eating. Cas and Sam go on a case together [Poor Misha. Jared must've tortured him]. Cas with his pop culture references. The only thing good about episode 13 aside from some closure for the boys is that Cas lost his knowledge of pop culture. Cas sometimes looks at the Saturday Evening Post when Sam and Dean are asleep. They're very soothing. Sam and Cas walked into a town that seems stuck in the late ‘70s. Even Cas thinks it's weird. Sam looks happy drinking a milkshake. Cas pretends to drink cuz he doesn't eat. Cas has no social skills. Jack is trying to feed the snake. Dean likes bacon. Some woman checked Cas out. Cas reads a series of love letters between the victim and a milkshake serving a young woman. Cas is so done with people hitting on him. How Cas describes Sam "I'm looking for my partner. Tall man. Hair? He has beautiful hair." FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. SAM BECAME A PART OF THE WEIRD TOWN FUCK FUCK FUCK. HE'S WEARING GLASSES THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD. CAS IS SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. SOMEONE SAVE HIM AND SAM. Dean is terrified of the snake. Cas is angry. Cas is worried and understanding about how Sam feels. CAS JUST FUCKING TOLD A MAN HE'S NOT GOD BECAUSE GOD HAS A BEARD.

S14E16: JACK IS ADORABLE STAB ME IN THE GUT AND TWIST IT WHY IS HE SO ADORABLE. Jack is so awkward around other people. OMG WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT YOU FREAKING LOVEABLE DORK. JACK IS LIKE "WELL I'M TWO-TWENTY! I'M TWENTY-TWO!!!" Jack is so freaking happy hanging out with kids his "age". Oh no he's sad.

S14E17: There was supposed to be a family game night. Cas is meeting up with Anael [The fact that this is Daneel and Misha on the same set is amazing]. Nick is back and off his rocket. Anael and Cas discuss God. Jack is going dark side. Woops. Jack sweetheart you're worrying me. Jack what did you do. Jack?

S14E18: Jack what did you do to Mary. What did you do. This is very scary. Oh wait he KILLED HER. WOW. OKAY. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIX THAT SHIT. DEAN WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM. SAM TOO. DEAN MIGHT TRY TO KILL HIM BUT THEN SAM WILL STOP HIM AND TELL JACK TO NEVER COME BACK AND CAS WOULD BE SO TORN BECAUSE HE PROMISED TO PROTECT JACK BUT HE KILLED MARY AND WOW THE WRITERS REALLY DUG DEEP WITH THIS ONE. Cas is remembering one of his first hunts with Mary. Did Dean just... Did he tell Cas that if Jack did something to Mary he's dead to him? I think he did. Huh. Welp, time to dig a hole in the ground, huddle into a fetus position and cry. Cas is not even mad. We are fine. Nothing is wrong. Oh wow what is this? A guilt trip down memory lane? Why are you hurting us by showing us all the nice missing moments between Mary and the rest? Is this fun for you you sadistic fucks? Jack needs a snickers. Mary is dead. Wow. Sam just stopped Cas from walking over to Dean. Wow.

S14E19: Dean gives a beautiful speech. Bobby is back. Cas is still protective of Cas. There's a lot of awkward silences between Dean and Cas. Made-up Lucifer is a dick. What do you mean Cas doesn't love Jack um hello? He gave away his chance at happiness for Jack. Fuck you Made-up Lucifer. Oh no. Dean is crying alone. Naomi Bitch Replacement is messing with Jack's head. Fuck her. A pillar of salt? Really?. Okay so Soulless Jack is horrible. I love him so much but he was already like a toddler playing with a bazooka. Now he's like a SADISTIC toddler playing with a bazooka with no soul. It really feels like Cas is the only one left with a sense of rationality. Cas is pissed at Sam and Dean for locking Jack up.

S14E20: So, Jack's pissed. Dean calls Jack a monster and I think why it bothered Castiel so much is because that would mean Castiel is a monster too. Chuck is BACK BABY AND OHHH BOI IS THIS A RIDE. Cas is so done. Dean smashes a guitar. Chuck and Dean yell at each other. Chuck is such a dork. Castiel is so pissed. Jack and Castiel reunite. Sam has a talk with Chuck. Chuck breaks the fourth wall. Dean is here to kill Jack. Cas doesn't want that. Dean and Jack are about to die. Jack is okay with that. Welp CHUCK IS HORRIBLE AND NOPE. DID CHUCK JUST KILL JACK. NO NO. CHUCK'S GONE DARK SIDE. No why is Jack dead. This isn't fair.

S15:

S15E01: Cas does NOT like that a demon inside Jack's body. Chuck literally jump-started the apocalypse. Cas is not okay.

S15E02: You can't tell me that Cas telling Dean it wasn't all a lie isn't him telling Dean that what they have is real. WELCOME BACK KEVIN TRAN, ADVANCED PLACEMENT. Kevin is BACK BABY. God and Amara are being siblings. Rowena and Ketch together are very weird and Crowley will NOT approve.

S15E03: Rowena is awesome. Cas and the demon inside Jack are very... Iffy with each other. Belphegor is awesome. Cas literally just FUCKING PUSHED BELPHEGOR INTO HELL AND JUMPED AFTER HIM WITH A COMPLETE STRAIGHT FACE WOW HE IS SO DONE. Cas tells Belphegor that Jack is like a son to him. Cas is forced to sing a song to praise Lucifer. Shit is going down. Cas and Belphegor did NOT work out. Wait does that mean Cas will get stuck in hell. Oh fuck. Oh crap. This is bad. Why does Cas has to suffer so much? Whyyy. He never wanted anything special. Just to be with Jack, Sam, and Dean. He wanted to do good. Whyyyy. ROWENA NO. NOPE. NOPE. DON'T DO IT. SAM DOESN'T WANT TO. DON'T MAKE HIM. STOP IT. ROWENA NOOOO. ALSO CAS AND DEAN STOP FIGHTING IT'S BAD. UM, DEAN? IT'D BE GREATLY APPRECIATED IF YOU AND CAS WOULD STOP FIGHTING. IT'S SCARING THE CHILDREN AND MAKING THEM CRY. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT! OH HEY I'M CRYING, WHAT A SURPRISE!

S15E04: Sam has a weird dream. Awesome fight scene though. Dean likes vegan bacon now. Or not. Wow Chuck might actually be afraid of Becky. Meeting Exes is awkward. CHUCK IS A DICK. BEING A WRITER DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO ABUSE OTHERS. FUCK YOU.

S15E05: Dean can't handle spicy jerky. Sam has bad dreams again. Um, Lilith's back? What? Is that a thing now? Wow.

S15E06: Cas is fishing now. He's also really sweet and cares about a guy who sells him fish bait. He also goes by Clearance like Meg used to call him, which is extra sweet. Cas is investigating stuff. Cas and Dean talk and Cas acts like a sassy toddler. Cas's powers are fading. Sam might have a small crush on the deaf hunter. Aww that's so nice. He saw she was naked so he turned away. Awww. What a gentleman. Dean raised you well. Dean doesn't know what's God and what's him.

S15E07: Sam and Eileen are definitely having fun, with margaritas and bacon. Dean refuses bacon, which leads us to believe he had truly given up on this world. Dean gets flirted with. Dean gets reunited with an old "friend". Sam and Eileen are AWKWARD AND DEAN IS TO BLAME BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO TEASED SAM. OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO NERDS FALL IN LOVE WHAT THE HELL. IS THAT HOW SAM FEELS WHEN HE'S WATCHING DEAN AND CAS??? THAT'S TORTURE. WOW THEY ALMOST KISSED AND THEN CAS WALKED IN OMG IT IS LIKE SAM WITH DEAN AND CAS. Cas is so pissed with shamans. OMG OMG OMG DEAN IS ABOUT TO SING OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG WOW HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFULLY SOMEONE GET THAT MAN A CONTRACT HE'S SO HAPPY WHAT OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Cas became grade A at threatening people. Kudos. Dean loves Texas now. Cas and Dean are awkward. Ever remember season 1 where they found out demons existed and felt like they were in over their heads? Well now they want to fight God.

S15E08: Sam is being an overprotective boyfriend. He's so cute. Oh my god... Are they getting Adam out of the cage??? Is this happening??? I know the last season is supposed to sort of give closure to unfinished plotlines but if this really happening it's amazing. Rowena is BACK BABY. Rowena is FUCKING awesome. A real queen, if you will. Crowley would be proud. She's also gives Cas and Dean a quick couple's counseling session. Adam is out of hell. It happened. Dean so ships Eileen and Sam. Dean and Cas are AWKWARD. Michael is back. Michael and Cas talk. Cas channels his inner Lucifer. Cas and Dean FINALLY talk. CHUCK YOU FUCKING DICK GET AWAY FROM EILEEN SAM WAS FINALLY STARTING TO BE HAPPY. OMG OMG DEAN AND CAS ARE GOING TO PURGATORY??? Dean and Adam talk.

S15E09: Wow Chuck is so manipulative. Wow. Chuck is really unlikeable anymore. Woah, did Cas just call Dean stupid? Cas has SNAPPED. So happy Sam has Eileen now. Any girl that can be tied to a chair, deaf, and still kick ass and sass God in front of him deserves a Sam Winchester. Wow Sassy Cas really ain't taking Dean's BS today. Chuck is a sadistic fuck. Chuck has lost it. God Complex much? Dean and Cas are in purgatory. Getting the band back together and it feels good. Benny died. That's sad. Dean and Cas discuss the guilt. OMG WHAT HAPPENS TO CAS IN THE FUTURE??? HE GOT THE MARK AND WENT CRAZY??? AND DEAN HAD TO BURY HIM IN THE BOX??? DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THIS SHIT IS NOT CANON FANFICS CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP. HE LOOKS SO HEARTBROKEN. Meanwhile in Purgatory: Dean is looking for Cas who has disappeared and they need to go back soon and things are BAD with a capital everything. DEAN IS PRAYING TO CASTIEL OMG OMG OMG HE BARELY DID IT EVER SINCE PURGATORY ROUND 1. He admits he should've stopped Cas from leaving. He calls Cas his best friend AWWWWWWW. HE'S CRYING OH MY GOD. HE FORGAVE CAS!!! THIS IS SO CANON HDJCJRIHEISHS. OMG CAS IS OKAY AND THEY HUGGED DEAN LOOKS SO HAPPY FUCK THIS I'M CRYINGGGG. SAM AND DEAN BECAME MONSTERS??? FUCK THAT SHIT. CAS TAKES THE MARK OH NO I DON'T WANT HIM TO GO INSANE. Cas and Dean arrive at the casino. Save Sam!!! SAM, SAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. AWWWW SAM AND EILEEN KISSED AWWW. NOW WE NEED A CAS AND DEAN KISS AND WE'RE GOLDEN GUYS. LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN. I BELIEVE. Jack and Billy are BACK BABY.

S15E10: It seems like Sam and Dean lose luck. Baby shut down. Garth named his twins Sam... and Castiel. Dean is definitely not insulted. Garth is a dentist now. Dean is afraid of dentists. Dean has a dream where he and Garth are tap dancing in black and white. OH MY GOD GARTH WHAT DID YOU DO TO DEAN'S MOUTH. GARTH TOLD DEAN HE NEEDS TO GET A COLONOSCOPY AND I FREAKING DROPPED MY PHONE. CHUCK DOWNGRADED SAM AND DEAN TO NOT MAIN CHARACTERS AND NOW THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH NORMAL PEOPLE PROBLEMS HAHAHAHHAHA THIS IS AWESOME. DEAN IS HOLDING BABY CASTIEL AND HE'S LIKE "THIS CAS KEEPS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD" AND SAM ANSWERS "SO KINDA LIKE THE REAL CAS" AND THEY KNOW. Also Sam and Dean are holding babies and it's adorable.

S15E11: Cas comes back to find out Sam and Dean are going to Alaska. Cas gets a call about Jack related info. Ahem... Jack is BACK BABY! Cas is worried about Jack. Jack is tied up. Cas to the rescue! CAS AND JACK REUNITE. This is like the most interesting pool game ever. Dean and Sam's luck is BACK BABY. JACK AND SAM AND DEAN REUNITE.

S15E12: Cas is so happy Jack is back. Dean and Cas are best buddies. Cas and Jack play 4-in-a-row. Cas and Jody meet for the first time. Jack wants to help. Cas still cares a lot about Claire. Billy is PISSED.

S15E13: The recap starts with the pizza man montage, which is really the only way it could. Ruby and Anael are BACK BABY AND WELL IT IS AWESOME. [Just pointing out that the fact they brought both of Jensen and Jared's wives for this is amazing] also Cas has no chill with his sass. Cas wants to almost die and go to Empty to talk to Ruby. He gets into the Empty and runs into Empty-Meg and she called him Clearance awwww. Ruby is BACK BABY. Cas almost dies by the Empty. He comes back though. Otherworld Sam and Dean are terrifying. They seem... Okay, and it's horrible. Also they're spoiled. HELLHOUNDS BABY! Jack arrives at Eden. Jack is crying + he got his soul back!!!

S15E14: Supernatural is BACK BABY. JACK IS STILL DEPRESSED NOOOO. DEAN HAS SCOOBY-DOO UNDERTHINGS PASS IT ON. Dean and Sam meet Mrs. Butters. She's nice and she made Christmas and Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July and Halloween collide in the calendar. Jack is out of his room now. Oh hey Dean's actually trying to not be angry at Jack. They have a monster radar! Lunch bag, she pack them lunch bags I-. Jack is still being sad noo. She keeps giving him smoothies. It's weird. OMG SAM IS GOING ON A DATE WITH EILEEN THEY REALLY SAID SAILEEN RIGHTS. Oh wait. Oh fuck what the fuck why is she ripping his head off oh no Jack run. Oh fuck why is she an evil mastermind all of a sudden they were happy. DEAN GETS TRAPPED TOO. DEAN BEING A REAL BROTHER BEING LIKE "YEAH I CAN WAIT UNTIL MY BROTHER IS DONE GETTING LAID FOR HIM TO COME BACK AND RESCUE ME AND OUR CO-ANGEL-CHILD". Dean is really trying with Jack my heart wow. Ugh not again with Sam and the nails the waves of nausea are hitting me-. Oh no Mrs. Butters story is really sad I don't like the old MoL. Oh goodbye Mrs. B we'll miss you. Awww Jack honey of course you can kill Chuck here I'll do it for you you just eat your nougat bars. OH MY FUCKING GOD DEAN MADE JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE I REPEAT HE MADE JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE JACK IS FOUR NOW CELEBRATE WITH US ALL *HYPERVENTILATING HARD*. 10/10 episode would recommend with a side of angst.

S15E15: Cas is BACK BABY! Aww Jack wants to wear matching ties. Awwwww. Sam and Dean are going after Amara. Good luck with that. Oh a church case for Cas? A little on the nose there. Oh wow this is getting dark. Aww Jack doesn't want to say something so Cas talks about himself instead. God I love them. Cas is amazing. I love him so much. Jack too. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are eating with Amara lunch. Crossroads demons are out of fashion, as per told by Rowena, the Queen of us all. Jack needs Cas' permission to create a social media account. Even the internet knows to give Cas cats. God bless the internet. Oh my god Dean and Amara talked and wow it was deep. Amara's intentions with Mary were... Wow. Poor Dean though. Wow Cas and Jack can't catch a break. Oh god Jack was stabbed he's okay but we're not okay what the hell. Once again, we are reminded that against regular humans Cas is a freaking supernatural creature with super strength and the wrath of heaven. Hey wait why does the crossroad demon look like he’s kidnapping this girl? Oh well guess we'll never find out. JACK IS GOING TO DIE? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BILLIE??? WHO AUTHORIZED THIS SHIT? HE NEEDS A PARENT OR A GUARDIAN'S PERMISSION!!! Cas not wanting to see Jack die again is hurting me. What do you mean it's not his choice Jack go to your room you're grounded until they kill Chuck. Cas um where are you going?? What do you mean in case you won't come back? Are you going where I think you're going? You better stay the FUCK away from the Empty or I swear to all that is sacred (the impala, Sam and Dean's flannel, Led Zeppelin) that I will cry. What do Sam and Dean need to know??? What is this shit????? I WILL SUE!!!!!

S15E16: Hey is he going to get killed? Called it! Hey Dean darling how about you let Sam know about Jack? Any minute now honey? No don't you fucking- Dean! Hey it's tiny Sam and Dean look at them awww. Hey Caitlin seems nice. Woah weird monster in the candy machine alert! Dean why are you so depressing this episode??? Sam being in the dark hurts me. Um Dean? What have you got there buddy? Is that a knife? Put the knife down, Dean put the knife down this isn't funny- oh thank god Sam Dean almost fillet-ed himself. Tiny Dean being scared but also macho aww. It's a Baba Yaga? A Baba FREAKIN Yaga? Wow. Omg Dean's face when he heard the woman having sex is priceless. He really grew up. Good on him. Caitlin you majestic being you managed to have Dean admit his fear wow Dean honey am I proud of you. Aww Sam is trying to call Cas. Um... Dean? OMG OMG ARE YOU TELLING HIM? YASSS SAMMY GO OFF. DEAN FUCK OFF JACK IS NOT DYING ON MY WATCH. OMG THE SILENCE. WOW.

S15E17: This starts with Amara. What a queen. I really like her now. She can cut me with her cheekbones. Look at her. Wow. She's so pretty. Cas is there! Sam is giving Dean the silent treatment. Yeah Dean is talking depressing. AHHH AMARA IS HERE. Jack meets Amara awww. Yes I want them to spend time together YESSS. Amara and Dean are like that couple that didn't work out because they figured they'd be better as friends and it's so nice to see them. Sam is amazing wowwww. Dean WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST- WHAT DO YOU MEANT JACK ISN'T FAMILY YOU- UMM WAIT IS JACK- NOOOOOOOO!!!!! OWW MY FEELINGS. Jack looks so sad nooo. Cas is there Cas make it better. Aww Amara with a flower. Chuck is back... Yay. Lol Chuck didn't write the Dean/Amara debacle and he thinks it's weird that's amazing. Amara is amazing. Amara trying to make Chuck not act like a spoiled brat wow this is hard. I hate him with passion. AMARA YASS QUEEN GO OFFFFF. HOLD HIM. Jack you shouldn't UNDERSTAND HIM you should be PISSED. HE DID THE HELLO AJAJAGDVSHA. OH.MY.GOD I LOVE ADAM AND SERAFINA SOMEONE HUG THEM. Jack has a skittles aura wow. The final ritual, the ROCKS. Adam looks so relieved that Jack got it. OH I DID NOT NEED TO SEE HER DIGGING INTO HIS RIBS. Dean whatcha doing there buddy? Aww he thanked him!!! I still don't forgive what he said though. IT'S TIME??? IT'S TIME BABY. SAM BEING FRUSTRATED AND CAS HELPING AWWW. They found the key, HOORAH! Cas awww thank you for helping Sam. Sam no don't go alone. Empty is Meg now waaaaaht. BILLIE WANTS WHAT NOW??? Sam lying Through His Teeth to the Empty the man is a LEGEND. No Cas it's not time we need to stop this. Dean, Dean you're scaring me. Cas being angry at Jack eating the ribs the angel is legendary. Chuck you sick sick bastard what did you do you FUCKER??? AMARA STOP IT. DEAN WHAT THE HELL YOU DO NOT PULL A GUN AT YOUR BROTHER WHO THE FUCK- WHAT THE FUCK- CAS DO SOMETHINGGGG NO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER. STOP IT. CHUCK YOU SHUT THE HELL UP. DEAN STOP IT STOP THE VIOLENCE. YESS SAM TELL HIM. FUCK YOU CHUCK. AMARA NOOO. DEAN OH MY GOD NO. SAM IT'S BREAKING MY HEART. NOOOO AMARA NOOO. CHUCK NEEDS TO DIE BUT NOT LIKE THIS. OMG SAM NOOO. DEAN YESSS PUT THE GUN DOWN. FUCK YOU CHUCK. OH YOU CAN GO SUCK A DICK DON'T YOU EVER, EVER CALL CAS THAT. OMG CAS IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF FREE WILL DID NOT EXPECT THAT. FUCK YOU CHUCK. OMG JACK NOOOO.

S15E18: DEAR LORD SOMEONE SAVE JACK HE CAN'T DIE NO NO NOPE NOT HAPPENING. Jack this is very sweet but they will NOT leave you. Billie not now. Yeah Dean tell her. Yass dads go OFF. WHERE IS JACK WHAT DID YOU DO BILLIE??? THE EMPTY??? NO DON'T DON'T DO THIS. JACK? JACK NO? JACK???? FUCK YOU BILLIE BRING HIM BACK. Oh you can go fuck yourself for all I care this is SO NOT THE TIME FOR THE BOOK. Yes Sam go OFF. Cas you really shouldn't be talking about the Empty. Isn't this episode when the deal goes down? Fuck you Billie you lost my respect. OMG JACK YOU'RE OKAY THANK GOD. Um... Empty? You okay there? Damn Sam being sassy. AND THEN HE GOES TO SIT IN THE CORNER HAHAHAHA. Yes Dean tell her. Did she just shush him? Empty ma gurl you good? Um, Billie? What's interesting? Jack's back BABY! He is not yours. Yes Dean go OFFF. CAS BEING A DAD. Aww Dean and Sam having a talk yes I'm so proud of my expressive babies. They be talking. Um, what new plan? What changed? Oh who this? Charlie is BACK BABY! YASSS MY QUEEN. Aww is that her gf? It's her gf. Oh okay where's her fucking gf??? Jack are you okay? Cas is worrying aww. Nothing's over Jack you're just three you have tons ahead of you. Dear lord Cas are you listening to yourself this is what you need to tell yourself OH MY GOD I'M BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL UGHHHH. Billie you're being a dick stop it. Crap everyone's disappearing. WAIT EILEEN? NO NO NO NO YOU WILL NOT DO THIS TO ME. EILLEN IS GOING TO BE FINE. WHERE ARE THE THREE DOTS? WHY AREN'T THEY THERE??? DRIVE FASTER DEAN!!! Why is the car empty? Where is she? Sam? Aww the screensaver. FUCK. SHE'S GONE. SAM? YOU OKAY? OH GOD BILLIE FUCK YOU LOOK WHAT YOU DID. NOOO. So Dean is going to kill Death again? Neat. Um Cas? I'm all for spending time with Dean but I'm worried. Aww Dean and Sam hugged. Oh hey Donna! (Is it me or is her accent off?) Jack is silent. Jack is driving. I'm so proud of him aww. Damn the badass music is awesome. Dean with the scythe is awesome. Look at that power couple. Aww Sam and Donna hugged that's cute. Let's go. Oh hey Charlie how are you? Bobby is BACK BABY. Bobby is awesome. Um Jack? How come that plant just died??? Sneaking into Death Library because those two are idiots. Oh hey splitting up is a great idea. Hi Billie, how are you? KILL 'EM DEAN. CAS ATTACK! BILLIE YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE RIGHT NOW. FUCK YOU BILLIE. DO IT DEAN KILL THEM. WAIT WHAT? Billie didn't kill them? Who did? CHUCK? THAT MOTHER FUCKER I WILL MURDER HIM. OH GOD PEOPLE ARE DISAPPEARING. WHERE ARE THEY? WAIT, NO, NOT CHARLIE NOOO. BOBBY? NO NOT BOBBY!!! DONNA? DONNA WHAT'S HAPPENING??? DONNA? NOOO!!! Oh Billie's dead now great. You can't kill Dean though. Run you two RUN. Run like hell run. Dean? Fuck. Billie leave him ALONE. FUCK FUCK RUN AWAY. BILLIE SHUT UP THIS IS A CRISIS. CAS PROTECT DEAN. PROTECT HIM LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. YES YOU GOT HIM. FUCK YOU BILLIE FUCK YOU SO HARD. INTO THE DUNGEON. CAS REACHING INTO DEAN'S BACK POCKET AND CUTTING HIMSELF WHY??? OKAY SIGIL. SIGILS ARE NICE. OKAY GOOD DEAN IS OKAY. Dean you're being depressed this isn't helping. Billie enough of the banging. Dean you're not angry enough with this you're good. Yeah fuck Chuck but that's not the point. Dean noo. Cas do somethingggg. Dean it's okay. It's not your fault. Um Cas? What's that? Wait, the deal? Now, you're doing this now? UM, WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING? YEAH WHY NOW? YOU'RE LOOKING AT YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS DUMMY. IS, IS HE- WHAT'S HE DOING??? KNOW WHAT? AWWW LOOK AT HIS REVELATIONS. YEAH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? CAS? UM. UM???!!! YES CAS TELL HIM TELL HIM HOW YOU SEE HIM THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST. I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE. WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOOOO. CHANGED??? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S HAPPENING SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING??? IT'S NOT A GOODBYE SHUT UP. D- DID HE JUST. DID HE JUST SAY- DID HE JUST SAY I- HE TOLD DEAN I LOVE YOU???!!! IS THIS A DREAM??? IS THIS REAL LIFE? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY ARE YOU CRYING??! I'M SCARED WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???? "don't do this"??? DON'T DO THIS??? WHAT DO YOU MEEEAANN??? WAIT EMPTY BACK OFF NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER THE HANDPRINT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK THIS NO I'M NOT OKAY THIS ISN'T HAPPENING NOOO. CAAAAAAAAS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DEAN? DEAN DO SOMETHING?? DEAN WHAT'S HAPPENING??? WAIT WHERE IS EVERYONE? IS IT THE WHOLE WORLD? DEAN? DEAN? SAM IS CALLING YOU? DEAN? ARE YOU CRYING? YOU CAN'T CRY OTHERWISE I'LL CRY NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS FUCKING BAD.

S15E19: alright, the world is empty. Oh no Dean is coming to meet up with Sam and Jack no no this is bad the jacket. "Where's Cas?" I- DEAN OH MY GOD NOOO. OH NO JODY AND THE GIRLS NOO EVERYBODY'S GONE. Jack calling out for his dad my heart hurts no. Dean this is not the time for a beer. UH SAM NO YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP NUH-UH NOPE NOT TODAY. UM SAM, DEAN? YOU'RE NOT SACRIFICING YOURSELVES WHAT THE HELL NO. GOD I HATE CHUCK SOMEONE DESTROY HIM. SHOOT HIM IN THE GODDAMN CHEST, PLEASE. Side note: how cute is Jack in his jammies? Okay back to angst. Dean stop falling asleep on bottles. Jack? What's up honey? Aww cuteness overload from the jammies. Aww Dean found a dog look how happy he is OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG LOOK AT HIS FACE AWWW AHHHH HE'S SO EXCITED. OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL CHUCK KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO BURN ALIVE OH MY GOD PUNCH HIM. Oh hey Michael long time no see? What's up? Tis a shame about Adam, truly. Oh the book? Hey I love how Jack is just off to the side, eating a nougat bar. Hey are they gonna talk now? Oh wow. Um, Cas? How are you calling? I HAVE A REALLY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS. OH MY GOD WATCH DEAN RUN. FUCK IT'S LUCIFER. WHAT DOES HE WANT. LEAVE. LEAVE. THE EMPTY LET YOU OUT AND NOT CAS? BITCH. LUCIFER YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE TEAM. Oh who that lady? Betty. Oh hi Betty. I like Betty. She makes me laugh. Lucifer building a house of cards. Jack you okay buddy? Oh hey Michael. Nobody trust Lucifer. Ohhhh how does God end? Um Lucifer? What are you doing? Why does this entire episode feel off? Wait, Chuck pulled him out? Gross. Kill him. LUCIFER LEAVE JACK ALONE. He will NEVER BE WITH YOU LUCIFER. YEAH STAB HIM GOOD MICHAEL. Jack you seem... Off? Michael you seem off. No question mark. Michael why you lying. Oh yay Sam cracked it. Hey you know the lake reminds me of where Jack was born. Oh yeah, doing spell stuff. Very badass. Um. What happened? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. CHUCK. KILL HIM. BREAK HIM. SAM, DEAN, NOOOO. MICHAEL YOU SON OF A BITCH. OH HE DED. RIP. CHUCK YOU STUPID BASTARD. What now Chuck? Gonna go kick puppies? Oh wait, you already DID. DAMN SAM I'M PROUD OF YOU. OH CHUCK DON'T YOU DARE. NO. NO. OW. NO. NO THIS IS HORRIBLE. THIS IS AWFUL. STOP IT. STOP HURTING THEM. NO. NO. HEY DOES ANYBODY FEEL A WEIRD DÉJÀ VU? LIKE, DIDN'T BECKY MENTION IT? "No classic rock, no Cas"? OH MY GOD THIS IS CHUCK'S ENDING. THE ENDING HE WROTE. FUCK. THE META. IT'S DEEP. NO STOP IT. STOP HURTING HIM. OH MY GOD OWWWW. OH PLEASE CHUCK THEY'LL NEVER STAY DOWN. SHUT THE FUCK UP CHUCK. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO HARD. IT IS NOT ENOUGH. FUCK YOU. YEAH SAM HELP DEAN UP. YEAH YOU WON. LOOK AT JACK ALL CUTE IN HIS WHITE SHIRT. Jack you look nice. Is that a new haircut? HAHA Chuck you can't do anything. YESSS!!!!! FUCK YEAH JACK YESS YOU DO THAT YESS I'M SO PROUD. I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU. OF ALL OF YOU. FUCK YES. Wait the book is blank? Wah- oh my god it's monologue time, bitch. I love this plan. It's awesome. Oh so that's what happened to Jack. They tricked you Chuck. Punched you right in your stupid face. METAPHORICALLY. They're not going to kill you. They're better than that. You fucker. Dean's no killer you fucker. Neither is Sam. Oh. Oh yes. OH YESS. THEY'RE WALKING AWAY. THIS IS BETTER THAN I'VE EVER HOPED. I'M SO SO PROUD OF THEM. DEAN SAYS THAT'S NOT WHO HE IS HE LISTENED TO CAS OH MY GOD. I'M SO PROUD OF THEM ALL. MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE IT. OH MY GOD. OH YESS LEAVE HIM TO ROT IN THE DIRT. YESSS. YESSS. YESSSSS!!!!! I'M SO SO SO FUCKING PROUD OF THEM ALL HOLY SHIT THEY DID THE GROWTH THING OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT. YEAH CHUCK THEY LEFT YOU, DEAL WITH IT. YES. I'M SO HAPPY. Aww is Jack going to bring everyone back? *Gasp* is he going to bring Cas back? Are we getting a reunion? OH MY GOD THE MUSIC IS SO NICE. JACK LOOKS SO AMAZING. THE PEOPLE ARE BACK!!! LOOK AT JACK SMILING ALL IN PEACE I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. I'M SO, SO PROUD OF HIM. HE GETS IT. HE GETS THE BEAUTY IN HUMANITY AND IN EARTH. IS JACK THE NEW GOD NOW? DEAN AND SAM ARE SO PROUD OF HIM. OH MY GOD IS JACK NOT COMING BACK? WHAT? WHY? Jack I just want you to know I love you so much. You're so smart and understanding and caring. You're better than God. You're Jack. Dean I know it's hard but Jack knows what he's doing. Jack understands faith. He understands family. He understands love. He understands. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME I MEAN I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BUT NOOO MY BABY YOU'RE A BABY AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE ONE YES. Sam and Dean, alone at the bunker. I'm so proud of them. They've come such a long way ever since the start. They get to be free now. But they're alone. Not for long. Next episode, everyone is coming back. OH NO THE TABLE. THE FUCKING TABLE. NO NO NO THEY WROTE JACK AND CASTIEL I CAN'T HANDLE IT SOMEONE HOLD ME. LOOK AT THEM DRIVING MY BABIES A MONTAGE OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING THE TEARS NO THEY LOOK SO HAPPY THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH. OH THE FAMILY DINNER. THE COWBOY HATS. THIS ID NOT OKAY. THE DINNER WITH TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 THIS HAS BEEN AMAZING I LOVE EVERYTHING.

S15E20 will be posted a few days after the episode!

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bravery-sought-a · 4 years ago

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Michael & Alex’s Conversation (s2ep10)

Their conversation in the Bunker from s2ep10 “American Woman” was a very interesting one and they way Alex and Michael interacted just proceeds to explain how well they actually know each other.

The conversation between both of these characters is just so enticing and it brings up some REALLY interesting points with their entire relationship. They know each other so PROFOUNDLY well that it’s almost ridiculous.

Michael’s sense of humor has always been very coarse. “No, I sold it on Ebay.” (s2ep10). We’ve seen how Alex reacts to those comments; a slightly sarcastic smirk and a turn of his head. However, this time he actually directly responds with words “Funny.” Michael takes out the alien glass fragment and Alex explains his plan, “I’m gonna give it to him. I wanna see what he does with it once he’s got it. Look, if it didn’t it on your console, then it fits somewhere else. My dad could lead us there.” He’s confident in his plan and has obviously had time to think about this in its entirety.

Michael brings up some doubts he has, “Your father hunts aliens, Alex.” He squints his eyes as if also saying, ‘Hey, look, you’re fucking nuts. I can’t believe you just said that.’ Alex gives an annoyed sigh. Michael doesn’t know Jesse as well as Alex does. “He’ll lead my family right off a cliff.” Alex’s deduction is that Michael is worried about his family and its valid, but it’s almost as if Michael is questioning Alex’s motives, but the Captain makes it clear. “I’ve protected you so far. That’s not changing.” His eyes soften slightly and he continues to establish his point, “Besides, he’s different these days.” Alex is letting his barriers lower again, as he does with Michael. He’s expecting maybe some agreement.

“You have to be kidding me.” Michael’s voice and body language says everything. The laugh that he gives is out of astonishment. He truly cannot believe that Alex is willing to go to his FATHER, of all people for help. Alex feels a little deflated, but apart of him had anticipated this. This is Michael Guerin after all.

“I don’t trust him, Guerin. I just,” He doesn’t even meet Michael’s eyes as he speaks, lowering this eyes as if trying to find the words, which is actually quite easy to him. He knows that Michael trusts him and this is never going to change. ALEX is so aware of it that he’s trying to get Michael understand his point of view, by trusting him. “I’m asking you to trust me.”

Michael turns around and walks to him, “When we were kids, you believed people were good, despite humanity doing everything to prove you otherwise.” Alex has faced… an overwhelming about of homophobia and abuse in his life because of his own sexuality. That can easily taint someone’s view of the world. And Alex has faced the consequences of trusting people too easily in the past when he was little, but he still held onto that faith.

“And God I loved you for it.” Michael’s admitting the truth that we all know, expect in past tense. It’s almost like he’s using the comment to fill the silence, but it is honest. Alex lowers his head in slight defeat. “But what was charming when we were seventeen is just stupid now. How do you not see that?”

Michael’s view of the world has been destroyed over the years. When he was a kid, he grew up in foster care and bounced around to various families, suffering at the hands of abuse as well. He’s only been able to see the brutal parts of the world and everyone he trusted ended up backstabbing him in some way. He only trusts a handful of people for that reason. He’s so guarded and close-minded that he lacks the empathy to understand what Alex is trying to propose. His past experiences have made him who he is.

Alex clears his throat and knows that NOW is time for him to leave. He doesn’t want this to escalate ; he knows it’ll end badly. His brain is in slight panic mode and he’s frustrated with Michael for not being able to understand him at all. He’s swallowing his emotions and just holding them in so he can let them out later.

Michael continues talking, obviously too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice the distress. “You believe that there’s some good in your father?”

Alex’s eyes roll and he has to react to Michael’s jab, “Yeah. Yeah I do.” Michael nods his head and hums, like ‘You’re fucking joking.’ Alex chooses this moment of expose Michael, “God forbid I have faith in people who don’t give me a good reason to.” He’s so tired of Michael’s BS and lack of ability to move on from what happened in the past. Everything that happened to Michael is difficult to let go of, but he hasn’t even started to make an attempt to want to heal from the former damages, and Alex is sick of it.

Michael recoils as if Alex just slapped him. Wide-eyed and shocked that he just heard that, “That’s not fair.” Michael’s pulling up his own walls.

“No?” Alex continues to just rip the bandage off of Michael’s BS. “Why is your hand covered?” Michael exhales, and he knows that he’s receiving a scolding that apart of him knows he deserves. “You miss your injury because you want to hurt. Your anger made you feel safe.” Michael has lived in the world of his own pain for years and it’s made him blind to the concepts and possibilities around him. This just confirms how well Alex KNOWS Michael as a whole.

“I will always hate my father for what he did to you. But I don’t want to live in that toolshed for the rest of my life.” The usage of the toolshed is an interesting metaphor. Alex is done being that frightened boy in the toolshed. He’s tired of being so scared of his own father. He’s also exhausted for being closeted and giving into his self doubt. He’s done with shutting people out and not giving them chances to prove themselves to be a better individual. “I don’t want to walk around thinking people don’t change that one day everyone is just gonna let me down.” Michael’s been let down his ENTIRE life and its made him develop trust issues. He’s afraid to put his trust in people, who will let him down in the future.

Alex isn’t just letting his emotions out. He’s trying to get Guerin to see his point… and what he sees.

“Because I am not building a damn rocket-ship in a hidden lair.” Alex’s raise voice indicates anger and exhaustion. Michael feels so attacked right now and insulted. His self-confidence has taken a very brutal blow; he lowers his head, refusing to meet Alex’s eyes.

And then, Alex delivers this bittersweet line. His tone of voice changes to something a bit more softer. “There’s one way for me off this planet and I need to believe in a reason to stay.” His eyes slightly shift as if he himself cannot believe that he just admitted, but he’s sure that he’s ready enough to share this. It’s difficult for anyone to admit to something like this and it hits Alex hard. There are tears across his eyes and looks at Michael, who’s eyes are also coated with tears. It’s a very difficult pill to swallow and Alex is expecting for Michael to say something, ANYTHING. But nothing comes.

Alex just feels like he wasted his own breath again. He’s felt like this so many times in the past. Tearing his heart open and showing his vulnerability to Michael, only to be met with a sympathetic look but silence. He gives a little head shake, but rather than yelling at him, Alex says, “I promise I’ll keep you safe.” He takes the alien glass piece and heads towards the exit of the bunker.

It’s at this moment in which Michael seems to finally understand a little of what Alex is internally dealing with, but he doesn’t want him to leave and put himself in more trouble. “I can’t let you leave with that.”

Alex is fed up and turns to Michael with a look of annoyance. Michael squares his shoulders and Alex asks, “What’re you going to do? Fight me for it?!” Alex’s line is actually… pretty clever. He knows Michael would never intentionally hurt him and just wants to leave so he can clear his head. He’s getting Michael to back down without physical confrontation. Alex is feeling cornered and he doesn’t like it at all. There’s no use in trying to further explain himself because he knows Michael’s not going to listen.

Michael turns his gaze away as if to say, ‘Forget it.’ And Alex takes that as a confirmation to carry on. Despite the emotions that are bubbling through him and the hurt that eats at his heart, Alex manages to find some softness, “Goodnight Michael.” We’ve only heard him call Michael by his first name a few times. For Alex, it signifies his mindset and a force of habit. Michael is left to process everything and he wipes a tear from his eye.

#[meta]#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #roswell meta

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northsouth12 · 4 years ago

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How to actually do goals according to science

Every year I kind of sort of commit to some ~New Year’s Resolutions~ and every year I kind of sort of make progress on them. This year I was diagnosed with depression and that led to me doing a bunch of research on how brains work and working with a therapist (bless them) to learn how to be kinder to myself.

In 2021 I’m setting goals again, but also approaching my goal setting with a different, more compassionate, and more informed mindset. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of setting myself up for success and I wanted to put it out there a) because I learned public sharing helps with goal achievement and b) in case this information/plan could help anyone else. So if you are also tired of making aspirational lists of all the stuff you’re going to do with nothing to show for it, come on over!

PEOPLE WHO KNOW MORE THAN ME

For quick and easy learning, I recommend the following podcasts/websites, from where I have drawn most of this information:

(1). VOLITIONAL PSYCHOLOGY with Dr Joseph R Ferrari, Ologies podcast ( 1:05:56, transcript and notes on website). A podcast interview explaining what procrastination is and what we can do about it. Also be nice to yourself.

(2). FEAROLOGY with Mary Poffenroth, Ologies podcast (1:13:49, transcript and notes on website). A podcast interview explaining how stress is equivalent to fear and how to interrupt our body’s stress response to regain our health and sanity.

(3). “Golden Rules of Goal Setting” on MindTools.com. A website covering most of the actually scientifically backed goal setting advice without a lot of life coach BS.

(4). My therapist. Credit where credit is due, they are a godsend. I highly recommend these conductors of light.

BASICS OF GOAL ACHIEVEMENT

For people who hate reading, here are the spark notes. There’s more information and tips in the long version, but I understand that some people put together IKEA furniture without looking at the directions.

Use the SMART method to write goals:

Specific - well defined and clear how to accomplish

Measurable - precise definition of success

Attainable - doable but still challenging

Relevant - aligned with personal values

Time-bound - must have a deadline

Put goals in writing. Use “I will” rather than “I want to” and frame statements positively.

Write down why specifically you want to achieve each goal.

Make an action plan breaking goals into individual steps. Break tasks into smaller and smaller chunks until you get to a place you can make progress. No judgement, just move the bar until you can move forward.

Schedule regular check-ins to evaluate your progress.

Post goals and progress publicly.

Incentivize achievement.

Surround yourself with doers rather than (fellow) procrastinators.

ABOUT SUCCESS AND FAILURE

If you can achieve 80% of your goal, that is success. In fact, happiness peaks at 85% success and 15% failure. People feel happier failing a bit because then their goal feels challenging and worthwhile.

YOU WILL FAIL. It will happen. It is okay. Focus instead on how you will react and grow from your failure.

“Stress” and “fear” are effectively the same thing. Recognize and own your fear; don’t be ashamed of it. It is a natural response. Also, recognizing your stress as a fear response helps you determine the root cause, and then address it, or even use it as a growth opportunity. Successful people freely use the word “fear”.

For many procrastinators, their fear of failure also includes a fear of success. You are afraid to do the work because you are afraid of not being good enough. These people (me) are practicing “social esteem protection” - thinking that if I don’t finish a task, I can attribute it to a lack of effort rather than a lack of ability because it’s a “time management” issue. It’s not. Time management is a myth, and the end result is that you are letting down the same people you want so badly to like you.

Procrastination is a learned behavior, which means that you can unlearn it. The best way is through CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to reprogram your thinking for people who have a persistent issue with procrastination.

Forgive yourself for your failures the way you would forgive other people.

HOW TO SET GOALS STEP-BY-STEP

Sorry this section is long, but it turns out a lot of the keys to success in achieving goals starts with actually writing them properly. Who knew?

Set a deadline. The traditional New Year’s Resolution is supposed to last through the end of the year, but I’ve found that is too long a span. I end up procrastinating because “there’s so much time left” until there’s not and then “it’s too late to start now”..... So now I’m setting my goals seasonally: four sets of three months. My deadline for winter goals is March 21st, the Spring Equinox. As part of my public accounting, I have told everyone this, including a bunch of internet strangers.

Also key for us procrastinators is setting a start date. I gave myself a week to write my goals and make my action plan. I have to keep track of my progress starting Monday.

Determine your priorities and set limits. You cannot do everything, no matter how much you want to (procrastinator, remember?). Looking for layout inspiration on Pinterest I came across so many bujo people with 8 million goals on their page layout. That’s not happening. Remember that your goals are meant to create positive change and a sense of accomplishment, NOT cause more anxiety. So make limits. How do we do this?

Make a big list of aspirations first. You can do this by identifying your personal values and generating ways to emphasize those more in your life. You can make a list of everything that you’re afraid of (aka causes you stress) and then think about ways to address or confront those fears. For example if getting a bunch of work emails into your personal inbox every weekend ruins your Saturday, aspire to set some work/personal life boundaries! Or maybe you have something you’ve always wanted to do, like learn a language or set time aside for a hobby. Put it on the list.

Now you have to edit the list. You can keep it to refer back to for the next round of goals, but choose out the top priorities for the next three months. To help you do this, refer back to your personal values, or just ask yourself “why do I want to do this?” If the answer is because someone else thinks you should, nix it. This is for you and only you. I originally chose 8 priorities, and then cut it again to 6 aspirations total - keep the plan simple and manageable to set yourself up for success. Remember, 85% success is what we’re aiming for. I also tried to choose a mix of difficulty levels of the individual aspirations (exercising = freaking hard; keeping a gratitude log = pretty easy) so that I might get some early wins and momentum.

I also recommend that at least one priority is just something you know will make you happy. We all need to set aside time and energy for ourselves, and to stop feeling ashamed about doing stuff that makes us happy. What the actual f**k. Choose one thing you love -- reading, baking, petting animals, being outside -- and make it an official goal to do it more often. NO JUDGMENT.

Okay, now to format your priorities into achievable goals. You are going to take each one of those aspirations and put it into an “I will” statement with a quantifiable definition of success. For example, my aspiration to “sleep more” became “I will follow a bedtime routine for 21 days straight.” You want to make sure your statement is framed positively (rather than “I will not eat junk food”, try “I will eat healthier snacks”). Also think again about making your goal challenging but achievable. I did not write “I will sleep 6 hours a night” because I can’t control that. I chose 21 days straight as my success measure because I anticipate I’ll fall off the horse a few times before I get a successful streak, and three weeks would be good progress for me. Another thing you can do is use ranges like “I will pick up 1 - 5 items in my room each day.” This is a bit of a mind game where the low end of the range is easily achievable so you have no excuse not to do it. Often once you get started, you might find that you have energy for 5 items after all.

Now that you have your goalposts set up, write down those “whys” you thought about when you were choosing them. Recording why you want to do this specifically is helpful for your motivation as time passes and further clarifies your goal.

As we’ve learned, accountability helps! For each of your goals, write down how you will share your progress. I’ve asked different people to check in with me about my sleep and exercise routines. I’m reporting about my ongoing issues with procrastinating on my schoolwork to my therapist each week. For my goal to read more books, I’m posting a picture of each book I finish on my Instagram. And for my goals to keep a gratitude log and consume news in a healthier way, I’ve decided I can hold myself accountable. In addition, I’m using my journal to keep track of my progress towards all six goals.

Set a reward for each goal. This could be anything from a pack of your favorite chocolates for completing an easy goal to giving yourself permission to buy that sweater you’ve really wanted for achieving a super challenging goal. I am also trying out having bonus rewards such as a small reward for an 11-day streak on my sleep goal to give me a push of momentum. For my hardest/most important goal I also decided to do a “stretch goal” like with Kickstarter where I get a reward for overachieving. So maybe I went a little reward crazy, but we’ll see how it goes!

Finally, for each goal write down the actions you’ll need to take to achieve it. For me this is stuff like “draft a bedtime routine and share it” and under that, I plan to research by “listen to somnology podcasts” and “read sleep solution book”.

HOW TO MAKE PROGRESS

Whew, you made it through writing the goals and now you are set up for success! Here’s a few more tips to keep things moving.

Now that you’ve got your goals all set up, share them with the world! (Or at least the people you’ve decided to help keep you accountable). Sharing goals and progress publicly is proven to increase our likelihood to achieve them.

If you’re a journaler, make a nice goals layout and a tracker for your progress. I did not find good examples for achieving goals in a scientific way when I looked for inspiration on Pinterest. If there is a journaler out there who read all the way to the end of this post and made a nice layout, please share your artistry. My “layout” is just a list. :/

Surround yourself with doers. If you have trouble motivating yourself (me), ask a friend to pair up with you. I am doing a remote master’s degree. It is not going well. However, setting up a regular Zoom “work date” with a friend who is currently working from home has forced me to sit down and look at my schoolwork on a regular basis.

Schedule regular check ins to evaluate your progress and write them down! I have a combination of check-ins with my “accountants” as well as a plan to review my goal progress every Sunday when I plan my week. This is written on my to-do list on each Sunday to make sure I do it.

Go forth and conquer! And remember, failure is a fact of life and does not make you a bad person. It just means you are learning more about how to set your goals for next time!

#goals #2021 goals #new years resolutions #goal setting #goal achievement #science

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