#what’s happening around and to them. and that’s the part I like best! it was unavoidable! they will still blame themselves forever!
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wreckage - charles leclerc
୨ৎ : pairing : charles leclerc x wife!reader ୨ৎ : synopsis : after a heated argument with charles, you watch in horror as his car crashes during a race
୨ৎ : genre : angst ୨ৎ : tws : car accident/injury, arguments/conflict, anxiety/panic, trauma, medical trauma. ୨ৎ : wc : 1318
part one | part two | part three | part four
They say life can change in the blink of an eye. One second, everything feels steady, solid, like the ground beneath your feet couldn’t possibly give way. And then it does. Maybe that’s the irony of it all—you never see it coming. Not really. You think you’re prepared, think you’ve braced yourself, but you’re never quite ready for the moment it all falls apart.
You fought this morning. Not just a little spat about something trivial—no, this was one of those fights that echoed louder than it should have. The kind that lingered, thick in the air, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth even hours later.
It wasn’t about anything catastrophic, either, but somehow, with Charles, the small things had a way of snowballing. His schedule. Your schedule. The time you didn’t have together. The things he didn’t say and the things you did.
“I’m trying, okay? You think it’s easy for me?” he’d snapped, his accent sharpening the edges of his words. “You know what this life is like.”
“Yeah, Charles, I do. But I also know you don’t get to use it as an excuse every single time something gets hard. I’m here, too, and I’m trying to make this work just as much as you are.”
His jaw had tightened, his gaze flickering to the ground before meeting yours again. “Sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, it’s never enough for you.”
You’d felt the sting of those words, like a slap across the face. But you weren’t one to back down, not even when the weight of his frustration pressed heavy on your chest.
“You don’t get to say that to me, not when I’m the one waiting, worrying, wondering if this is ever going to feel… stable. Do you know how hard it is to love someone who’s never really here?”
The silence that followed was deafening, his features a mix of hurt and anger, like he didn’t know which to lean into more. And then he’d said it.
“Maybe it’s hard because you don’t trust me enough to believe that I’m doing my best.”
You hadn’t answered, and maybe that was the problem. The fight ended there, not because either of you wanted it to but because there was no time to fix it. Not when he had a race to prepare for, and you had to pretend like none of this was tearing you apart from the inside out.
When you arrived at the paddock, it felt impossible to mask the weight of the argument. You greeted a few people with forced smiles, but you could see some of them watching you a little too closely. It didn’t help that Charles seemed just as tense, his jaw set and his usual ease nowhere to be found.
Carlos was the first to pull you aside, his brown eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned closer. “¿Qué pasa, eh? You look like someone stole your churros, and Charles… well, he looks worse. What happened?”
“Nothing,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “It’s fine.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Amiga, por favor. I know you, and I know him. Whatever this is, it’s not nothing.”
You sighed, glancing over your shoulder where Charles was talking to his engineers. “We just… had a fight this morning. It’s not a big deal.”
Carlos gave you a skeptical look. “Not a big deal? You’re both walking around like someone cancelled Christmas. If you’re not okay, neither is he. You should talk to him before the race.”
You hesitated, the memory of this morning’s argument still fresh in your mind. “I don’t want to distract him. He needs to focus.”
Carlos clicked his tongue, shaking his head with a small smile. “Tch. If you think he’s focusing now, you’re wrong. You being upset is a bigger distraction than anything else. Go.”
Reluctantly, you nodded and made your way toward Charles. He was still in deep conversation with one of his engineers, but when he saw you approaching, his expression softened—just slightly.
“Hey,” you said quietly, folding your arms across your chest.
“Hey,” he replied, his voice lower than usual. There was a pause, the tension between you lingering like a storm cloud.
“Good luck out there,” you finally said, your voice steadier than you felt. “I mean it. Be safe.”
Charles studied you for a moment, his green eyes searching yours. Then he nodded. “And… I’m sorry. For earlier.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, someone called for him, signaling it was time to get ready. He gave you one last look, then turned and walked away, leaving you standing there with words unsaid.
The race began, and for a while, the roar of engines and the blur of cars distracted you. Charles was in good form, holding his position, making clean overtakes. You found yourself exhaling with relief every time his car flashed across the screen.
But then it happened.
It was almost too fast to comprehend. One moment, Charles was rounding a corner, perfectly in control. The next, there was smoke, debris, and the sickening crunch of metal against metal.
Your heart stopped.
The commentators’ voices rose in panic, their words a jumbled mess that barely registered in your mind. “Oh no, that’s Leclerc… that’s a big one.”
Everything else faded—the noise of the crowd, the hum of your thoughts—until all that remained was the image of his car, mangled and still.
“Red flag,” one of them said, and that’s when it hit you. They’d stopped the race. It was bad.
Your hands trembled as you gripped the edge of the table, your breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.
The minutes crawled by like hours, every second another layer of dread settling in your chest. You kept your eyes glued to the screen, desperate for any sign, any update, anything to tell you he was okay.
When they finally cut to the scene, you saw the medics surrounding his car, moving quickly but carefully.
“He’s conscious,” one of the commentators said, and you felt a rush of air leave your lungs, but it wasn’t enough. Not until you saw him. Not until you heard him.
You thought back to the fight, to the last thing he said to you, and it made you sick to your stomach. This couldn’t be the last memory you had of him, the last words you exchanged. It couldn’t.
You were already reaching for your phone, dialing his team, someone, anyone who could give you more than the vague reassurance of the broadcast.
“Please,” you whispered, the word barely audible over the pounding of your heart. “Please let him be okay.”
It’s strange, how quickly everything can unravel. You think you’ve got it all figured out, that the argument was just another bump in the road. But in the back of your mind, there’s always that voice whispering, telling you that things might never be the same.
And now, with every second that ticks by, your thoughts spiral, faster and faster, until you can’t breathe. What if this is it? What if those were the last words you ever said to him?
You close your eyes, trying to steady yourself, but all you can see is that image of his car, broken and still. Your pulse races. You told him you loved him today, but did he really hear you? Was he ever truly certain, or was that last moment of tension, the words left unsaid, enough to make him doubt everything?
You hate this. You hate the fear gnawing at you. You hate that you're sitting here, helpless, as he’s out there fighting for his life. That feeling of powerlessness—it’s unbearable.
Please, you think again, clutching the phone like it’s the only thing tethering you to reality. Please, don’t let this be the end.
© 2024 jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc prompt#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fanfiction#charles leclerc cute#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x yn#charles leclerc x female reader#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#f1 instagram au#fanfiction#formula one#𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies
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never leave this bed
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: husband!jeon wonwoo x curvy!f.reader
once your husband returns from a long trip you want nothing more then to stay in bed together.
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞(𝐬): romance, established relationship
𝐚𝐮(𝐬): non idol
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k
𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: very fluffy, they’re both super in love with each other, mentions of past body insecurities, wonwoo is obsessed with his wives curvy body, mentions of have having children in the future, smut warning below the cut.
𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: explicit, smut, 18+
𝐚𝐧: this is a part of my series I’m going to writing with the SVT boys as husbands called ‘my only one’.
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: big dick wonwoo, soft dom wonwoo, needy mc, pussy stretching, unprotected sex (mc is on birth control), breeding kink, mention of impregnating the reader, wonwoo is obsessed with his wife’s thick thighs, body worship, size kink, dirty talk, overstimulation, nipple play, fingering, cockwarming, alluding to shower sex
Rolling over you cuddled into your husband chests. Your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips as you wrapped your arm around his strong chest. You’re both completely naked from the long night you spent together.
You had been married for two years and neither of you had ever been happier in your lives. You had met because you were friends with Mingyu and he had introduced them to each other. Mingyu had told Wonwoo he found his future wife from him, and to this day Mingyu tells everyone you got married because of him.
Wonwoo was home from a two week long work trip. You had decided to spend the day in bed just enjoying each other.
Slowly you pressed your lips to his neck, and put your leg over his stomach. You were basically laying on top of him, but he didn’t care. He always told you he loved when you laid on him. According to him you weigh nothing. Your soft stomach and thick thighs strongly disagree with him. Anytime you even got slightly insecure about your body your husband would immediately let you know how attracted to you he is.
Gripping your thigh he held her close. His fingers gently kneading your flesh. This man has always had a fascination with your thighs. “We’re not getting out of bed today,” he said as you pressed your lips to his neck again. Leaving a trail of open mouth kisses. You wonder if he'll mind you leaving a mark.
“Nope I’m staying right here,” you murmured against his neck.
Slowly he ran his hand up and down your thigh holding you close. He couldn’t get enough of his wife. He hated going on work trips and being away from you. But you made coming home truly worth it. Even if it was just spending the day in bed cuddling. If you had your way your husband would have been naked the moment he walked in the door.
He got in at eleven at night and the moment the front door was locked you practically jumped him. You didn’t even let him take you to bed. A sea of clothes littered the living room as you sat naked on your husband’s lap. His huge cock snug inside you as you kissed anywhere your lips could reach.
Once he finally got you in bed he told you he desperately wanted to just hold you. Who were you to say no to his request?
“I love you so much,” he smiled.
“I love you too,” you said, moving so you could look at him.
Looking toward his wife he smiled and leaned down and pressed his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “You’re perfect,” he said, resting his nose against yours. His loving words caused you to smile. Finding Wonwoo was the best thing that had ever happened to you. The love he had for you was like something you could only dream of.
“What if we just never left this bed?” You asked, leaning back onto the bed away from Wonwoo.
“I would never leave this bed if I didn’t have to work,” he rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand and looked over at you as you stared up at the ceiling.
“It's a shame you can’t just work from home everyday. I need my husband to stay in bed with me forever,” you smiled. In a dream world he wouldn’t have to travel so much for work.
You knew when you got together there were going to be times he had to leave for long work trips. You knew about the details of his job from the moment Mingyu introduced you. He might be gone often, but you knew no matter what he was always gonna come back to you after his trips.
“You look so beautiful in the morning,” he said, causing your cheeks to flush.
“You are literally the perfect man,” you rolled onto her side so you were staring at each other.
“I want to be the perfect man for you. Now come back over here and lay on me again,” he rolled on to his back again. He never missed a chance to feel your body weight on him.
A soft laugh passed your lips as you moved over and cuddled back into your husband. You rested on his chest and your arm was resting across his stomach.
“We’re not leaving this bed today,” you sighed with a little smile.
“I’m only getting out of bed to take you in the shower, and to possibly eat.” Of course this man is already thinking about shower sex. That might be his favorite to take you other than your bed. Lifting your thigh you put more weight back on his stomach. “Baby I know I said I want to cuddle, but I want to be inside you so badly.”
His words earn a laugh from you. “How do you plan on making that happen? I thought you wanted to cuddle?”
“Lay on your back for me baby.”
Listening to his request you lay on your back and spread your legs without him having to ask. Laying on his side pressed up against your side, his fingers dip between your legs. His index finger plays with your clit while he rubs his growing erection against your thigh.
“You feel so good,” he groans against your skin. You can’t even respond, you just moan as he starts pumping two fingers in your already wet hole. “I need to stretch you out, little baby. I’m not going to fit if I don’t prep you.” In the beginning of your relationship that statement wouldn’t be wrong. Wonwoo has the biggest dick you’ve ever taken before. When you first started dating you couldn’t jump into having sex without him giving you some foreplay. Now four years into your relationship you’ve grown accustomed to the stretch of him filling you for the first few thrust.
“I don’t need prep. You fucked me like two hours ago,” you moan.
“Someone is needy,” he laughs. The hill of his palm continues to rub against your sensitive clit. Hooking his fingers he rubs the spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. “Just come one my hand once and I’ll fuck you nice and slow from behind.” Wonwoo never misses an opportunity to take you from behind. “All you have to do is cum once.” He whispers.
Closing your eyes, rolling your head back, your whole body feels like it’s tightening as you get closer to the edge.
Gasping his name you fall apart on his hand. Your walls contract around his fingers. His hands continue to thrust in and out of you slowly helping you ride out your high.
“Lay on your side baby.” Following his request you lay on your side facing away from him. He pushes your knee up giving him access to your wet core. His large hand kneads the flesh off your ass pressing himself against you.
“Please don’t tease me.” You just want your husband to fuck you already.
“So needy,” he’s running his hardened length through your folds. “Are you stretched out enough for me?”
“Please fuck me,” you moan. Each time his length brushes your clit you see stars.
Taking himself in his hand he slowly pushes into you. He fills you completely. His pelvis is pressed up firmly against your ass. His hand gropes your breast as he moans in your ear. He gives you a moment to adjust to his size.
Rolling your head back you can’t help but moan. His pace is slow. A trail of love bites are being left against your bare shoulder.
“Harder,” you whisper. You want the slow pace but just harder. He listens to you without another word. Rolling his hips into you over and over again. The roam is filled with echoing sounds of whimpers and moans.
“Won-“ you can’t even properly form his name.
“Do you want me to fill you up?” His hand moves from your breast down to your pussy. His fingers toy with your clit earning a moan.
“Please.”
“Do you want me to put a baby in you?” This has been one of your husband’s favorite things to bring up in bed now. You are ready to have a baby with him. His new breeding kink has definitely worn off on you.
“I’m going to cu-“ your body feels like a live water as your orgasm washes over you. “Wonwoo-“ your hand grips his hand that’s playing with your clit. Overstimulation kicks in as he keeps thrusting into you over and over as your high continues.
“I’m going to fill you up,” he groans.
He continues his slow but firm pace. Your hand clings to his hand. Your eyes roll back in your head as another orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. “Wonwoo-“
The way he moans your name as he cums, painting your walls white is absolutely intoxicating. His hands dig into your hips holding your flush against him.
“We might need to get out of bed to shower,” you say, earning a soft laugh from him.
“God I love you.” He kisses your shoulder gently.
“I love you too.”
He’s still inside you and the way he is holding you you don’t think he plans on pulling out. You have no problem staying in bed cockwarming your husband for a while.
If you have asked to be tagged I request that you please reblog. If you could leave comments and or tags that would be greatly appreciated.
#svthub#SVT smut#seventeen smut#wonwoo smut#jeon wonwoo smut#wonwoo x reader#husband wonwoo#wonwoo x you#wonwoo insert reader#seventeen x you#kpop smut#seventeen fanfiction#wonwoo fanfiction#wonwoo x plus size reader#seventeen x plus size reader#wonwoo x chubby reader#wonwoo
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Not to go too analytical here, but that's exactly what I'm going to do.
See, that last gif of Buck and international treasure Christopher Diaz is of a scenario where typically the roles 'should' be reversed. That's the scene where Buck is telling Chris that his father got shot. But instead of Buck comforting Chris, as would be considered the more normal thing to happen here, it's the other way around. Buck later says that he should have held it together, but looking through the other GIFs and just thinking about the general context, is it really surprising that Buck broke down?
Think about it. Buck is, as dubbed by Bobby 'the guy who likes to fix things'. He always makes sure everyone else is okay before addressing his own issues, and sometimes he never does. Eddie got shot right in front of Buck. They were only about a metre or two apart, it could so easily have been him instead. Buck, being Buck, believes that it 'would have been better... If I'd been the one who got shot'. He's very clearly showing signs of survivor's guilt. And then, after that, he has to tell his best friend's son that he's not coming home tonight, maybe not ever. He has to say that to a child who has already lost his mother.
And here's the crucial part, the part that is summed up in the original post nicely: nobody checked to make sure Buck was okay.
They were so worried about Eddie that you never actually see Buck get any sort of comfort from anyone. He was barely holding himself together as it was, and his coping mechanism is to push it down and act like he's okay. He kept it all in, which of course can only ever lead to it bursting out. So when, on top of all the pain and stress and fear he's experiencing, he has to go and tell Christopher - a child he already feels like he's failed due to the tsunami - that he might be about to lose his father. And Buck loves them both, Eddie and Christopher, so much and so from his perspective he might be about to lose them both.
And it all comes out.
Then there's Chris, who has already lost so much for someone so young, who understands much more about the situation than anyone his age should. But in that moment, his first priority is to comfort Buck, his father's best friend who is practically family at that point. Nobody else had thought to comfort Buck, not any of the firefighters who have all suffered losses and know how to cope, none of the adults who knew far more of what Buck had been through, just a ten(?) year old boy.
Somebody please give Buck a hug. Literally anyone. I do not care who. Just someone comfort that poor guy.
Thinking about comfort hugs.
Comforting Bobby.
Comforting Maddie.
Comfort Eddie.
Comforting Chim.
Comforting Hen.
And then there's Buck.
Here's a hug, but he's comforting Maddie.
No one even touched him until he collapsed, and then they're just holding him up. He can barely grip Hen's arm.
Bobby drags him back and lets go just as Buck breaks down.
And then there's this MVP.
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Hey! I just bought this new VR game system and it says not to try it on alone. What the fuck are they talking about? And why are all the games on the online store so adult centered? Whatever, let's try it, wait what is happening ...
“Dude, you’re not supposed to use Hive X alone.” Some guy messages you in the chatroom, “Did you not see the warnings?”
“Or the reviews?” Another user asks, “It’s best for couples to use it. Together.”
Your eyes narrow, “I didn’t pay all this money not to use it.” You reply, “I’ll let you know how it is.” You look down at the black box.
You always appreciated your friends in the gaming community. But the gaming community was quite divided when Hive X hit the stores. A new VR gaming system that seemed to offer a futuristic level of immersion. You didn’t really have time to read reviews, but you weren’t going to miss out on this opportunity.
“Well, here it goes.” You mumble.
You slowly remove the VR headset from the box, followed by two wrist and ankle cuffs. You can’t help but chuckle when you remove what looks like a waist trainer.
“What the fuck?” You whisper as you read the instructions.
Slowly, you remove your clothes until you’re completely naked. Apparently, this would help facilitate the full immersive experience. And as you stand in the center of your room, you slowly slip on the ankle cuffs, then the wrist cuffs, and finally the waist trainer. You pick up the headset, which looks like that of a motorcycle helmet, and with a deep breath, place it over your head. Initially, all you see is inky blackness. But as it turns on, the world around you comes alive. You wince as the ankle, waist, and wrist pads dig into your skin and warm up. And suddenly, you’re standing in what can only be described as a hotel.
“Oh wow.” You whisper as you look around, seeing others walking around the hotel. Heading to different rooms. You take a deep breath and smell a muskiness mixed with oak wood. The warmth of a glowing fire dancing in the hotel lobby. It’s warm, and a sense of peace fills you, “Oh shit!” You realize that you’re naked and quickly go to cover yourself.
Apparently, others heard you and look over. Some chuckle, some give you concerned looks. And you realize that many of them are naked too. Blushing, you quickly walk down a hallway, awkwardly bumping into and maneuvering around other couples.
“Why the fuck is everyone naked?” You mumble, “And why...” Your eyes widen and you gasp when you turn a corner and enter a large room.
There had to be hundreds of men and women in the midst of a giant orgy. All moaning and engaging in lewd acts. You avert your eyes and back away, heading back the way you came. Your face beet red and dick twitching uncomfortably.
“I should’ve read the reviews.” You mumble, realizing this is some kind of virtual sex toy, “Okay, I’m done. The guys will get a kick out of this.”
“What’s wrong?” You jump at the monotone voice behind you, “So sorry. I’m NPC 436.” A fully clothed, relatively plain individual says, “I am designed to tailor your experience and enhance customer satisfaction.”
“Yeah, I...” You cover your junk, “This isn’t my thing... I...”
“We have many experiences designed for our users.” It continues, “Usually, partners enter the Hive due to enhanced physical sensations. It appears...”
“Yeah, I’m alone.” The NPC nods.
“Based on your preferences and attitudes, we have determined an ideal experience.”
“Wha... how?”
“The VR headset you utilize is a two-way interface with your mind.” It says simply, “Please follow me.”
Part of you wants to say no and write this off as one of your biggest failed gaming experiences. But another part of you is curious. You nod and follow NPC 436 as it leads you to one of the hotel rooms. You stop outside Room 194 and NPC 436 opens the door, beckoning inside.
“Please enjoy.” It says, “Customer satisfaction is a primary objective.” It continues.
You nod as the door closes behind you and you enter a standard hotel suite. A warm fire place cackling and the smell of oak filling your nostrils. You feel your body start to relax and your thoughts slow. Absentmindedly, you stroke your hardening cock. The sound of the shower in the other room brings you back to reality and you slowly walk over. When you enter, your eyes widen.
“Hey there.” The man says, as he turns and smirks at you, “Fuck you’re cute.”
You feel your heart beating, your cock aching with need. And as he approaches you, you step forward. Your hands moving to feel his massive pecs. He grins as he guides your hand to his dick and you shudder at the feeling of his thick manhood in your hand.
“Good boy.” He moans, “I’m NPC 251.” He continues as you continue to feel his body, “Fuck... you’re needy.”
Things seem to move quickly. He’s pressed you up against the wall of the shower, your lips locked, your tongues doing battle. You can feel his rough hands roam your body, as yours continue to stroke his dick. And suddenly you’re on your knees as he fucks your face- you deepthroating him like a pro. He lets out a moan as he finishes and you shudder as you’re filled with his seed.
“Fuck.” He whispers.
You stumble to your feet, quivering from the pleasure. And before you can say another word, you moan as your cock hardens against. A wave of horniness filling your mind. A desire for more filling your every thought.
“Th-this isn’t...” You whisper. How was your body already craving another round? What was this VR device doing to you? “I... I...” NPC 251 is stroking his dick, grinning down at you.
“Additional interaction requires in game purchase.” Your heart sinks, “Would you like to initiate NPC trial period?” NPC 251 asks, “This will unlock additional sessions with any other NPC.”
You raise an eyebrow, trying to comprehend what NPC 251 means. But your aching cock is too distracting. You bite your lip. NPC trial period? What did that even mean? What would it...? But NPC 251... god you wanted to do that again. You wanted...
“Trial period. Please.” You moan.
A searing pain knocks you off your feet. You can feel it in your ankles, hands, and waist. And the feeling seems to be moving along your arms, legs, and torso. You cry out and look up at NPC 251 in terror, gripping your head as you develop a significant headache.
“Digitalization process is taking place.” It says, “Your physical body is being fully converted into the Hive.”
Before you can say another word, a different feeling fills you. You feel like you’re being inflated. Each muscle contracting and bloating. Expanding and growing at a terrifying rate. You try to push yourself up and immediately fall over. Unfamiliar with your new size and bulk as your musculature takes on that of an athlete. You wince as your body hairs burns away and leaves you smooth and hairless. Your muscles toned and bulky. The body of a porn star.
“Optimization of user traits allows for seamless integration for company standards.” It continues, “Your prior traits will be saved in the mainframe.”
You gasp as you look at yourself, hands roaming over your impressive musculature. You moan in a far deeper voice as your ass pulses with need. And you look up desperately at NPC 251, knowing it could give you what your new body craved.
“Initiating directives.”
Your jaw goes slack and your eyes dim as words and numbers flash in front of your eyes. You can barely keep up with the various components as you’re given directions and commands. Your numb mind filling with them- a sense of devout obedience driving you.
“I will serve. I will ensure customer satisfaction.” You drone on, “Serving is my pleasure. Being used is my pleasure.” For a brief moment, you feel fear. Part of you coming to realize what your life is about to become. But fear is not part of your programing, “I am NPC 803.” You say.
NPC 803 was quickly led away to a new room. An empty room. One for NPC 803 and the services it would provide. Time wasn’t a concern for NPC 803, nor were any thoughts about when it would get to return to its old life. And as NPC 803 waiting for someone, it laid in bed. Dildo in its ass. Moaning from wave after wave of pleasure. But it wasn’t enough. All it wanted was to provide customers with the best experience possible. And as another man was led to your room, also without a partner, you couldn’t help but smile. After the time you were gonna give him, you just knew you’d have another NPC joining your team.
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(not) lost and found pairing: reader x sistersfiancé!rafe synopsis: when reader has to return her sister's shoes, she sees her fiancé again. this time, in a different state than before. warnings: hurt and comfort, reader stitches up rafe wc: 1.5k
people have been wanting me to write more for them and i've been meaning to i swear!! just haven't gotten around to it lmao but more interesting stuff for this pairing is coming
"jenny, no." you sighed exasperatedly into your phone, "i already told you, no. i'm doing homework."
"but it's technically your fault?"
"how is it my fault that your drunk ass left your damn shoes in my car?" you scoff, and if it wasn't so typical of jenny, you wouldn't be able to believe the nerve she'd have to even say it was your fault that she was too drunk that she couldn't even remember to take her shoes.
"just take them to my place, alright! i'm on a trip right now and i don't need your shit."
"i'm not a damn lost and fo-"
before you could finish your sentence, your sister had hung up on you, and although you tried to call her again, she wouldn't answer. the bitch was ignoring you, as usual.
so, that was how you ended up driving to the house your sister shared with her fiancé while rain was pouring down the sky, your windshield wipers working overtime to make sure you'd get there without slipping off the road.
when you finally parked in front of the house you'd been at only a few days prior, you leaned the back of your head against the headrest, gazing at the lit-up windows of the home. you wanted so badly to not be jealous of the life she had, to not give her the satisfaction of knowing how much you'd always envied her; envied the way your parents had always preferred her, how you'd always felt more like a burden to them than a child.
taking a hit from a vape pen and tossing it to the passenger side of your car, you breathed out the vapor before getting out of the car, slamming the door closed behind you, flimsily holding onto your older sister's louboutins, a petty part of you wanting to accidentally drop them to the ground as you made your way to the door.
but when you reached the door, lifting your hand to knock on the door, you noticed it was slightly ajar. with furrowed brows, you stepped inside, your ears filling with the noise of loud shouts and sounds of glass breaking.
you placed down the heels as quietly as possible, pulling your phone out and dialing 911, holding the phone close to your chest as you walked closer and closer to the source of the noise, prepared to press call.
but what you came across caused your brows to furrow.
jenny's fiancé's back was facing you as he threw a vase on the ground, the smashing noise ringing in your ears as you brought your hands to cover them.
"fucking bitch!"
you didn't know what to do, simply watching the man throw a picture into the ground, the glass of the picture frame blending in with the glass from the vase. what used to be jenny's glamorous living room now looked like it was one of those rooms people go to smash up old electronics and plates, just missing the graffiti on the walls, but in place of them were a few fist-shaped holes.
when rafe picked up a glass of amber liquid to his lips, you figured it'd be your best chance to make your presence known, so you cleared your throat, saying his name in a soft voice. "rafe?"
the man turned to look at you, letting out a soft, dry chuckle as you pursed your lips, looking around at the wrecked room. "what are you doing here? is your sister drunk again? 'cause if she is, she can sleep on the fuckin' lawn for all i care."
"no, she just left her shoes and..." you shook your head, taking a few, wary steps towards the man, pocketing your phone. "what's up? did something happen with...?"
"your sister?" rafe let the now-empty glass fall to the ground, a few drops of whiskey now decorating the pile of glass as it smashed, rafe collapsing onto the ground, leaning his head against the back of the formerly-immaculate white couch, that now seemed to be covered in red wine. "that'd be the understatement of the century."
you noticed a gash on his arm, a rather large piece of glass sticking out, red blood staining his white sweater, "rafe, you're bleeding."
the man chuckled, looking down at the cut and shaking his head, "i didn't even notice. woops."
"let me go get my stuff."
"it's really-"
"shut up." you say sharply, rushing outside to your car.
you were kneeling next to rafe, the man pressing a cloth to where the piece of glass had been lodged in while muttering something under his breath while you poured disinfectant onto another cloth. "this is gonna sting, but if you're gonna be a baby about it, i'm gonna let you bleed out."
rafe let out a small, nearly inaudible chuckle and the ends of your lips twitched slightly upwards, "i'm pretty sure i'm not gonna feel it with how much whiskey-"
his sentence was interrupted by a loud hiss he let out when you took away the cloth he'd been holding against his arm, starting to press the one with disinfectant against the wound, your lips curving into a proper smile.
"is my pain funny to you?"
"no." you looked at rafe to see a small smile on his lips, "it turns me on."
rafe let out a guffaw at your statement, shaking his head as you began putting monofilament thread onto the curved needle, the man's brows furrowing as he watches. "how do you even know how to do all this?"
"you don't know?" you let out a chuckle, "of course, why would i assume my dear sister ever speaks about anything other than herself. i'm studying to be a doctor."
"i didn't know that." rafe watched as you brought the needle to his wound, "have you done stitches before?"
"on fake skin." you shrug, starting to stitch up his wound, "so, why did you do all this? you're lucky that thing didn't lodge any deeper."
"i could've just gone to an actual hospital."
"yeah, but wouldn't you rather give your future sister-in-law some practice?" you said, not noticing the way rafe was gazing at you, your tongue peeking out, your brows furrowed in a way that caused small wrinkles to appear on your forehead. "spill."
rafe let out an exasperated sigh, looking away from you, instead focusing on all the broken glass on the ground. he'd have to figure out a way to fix it before jenny got home.
"your sister's cheating on me."
a small oh left your lips as you continued.
"i saw texts on her phone before she left. she told me she was going on a work trip for the law firm she's interning with but she's currently at some hotel with the guy she's seeing."
"she... she always told me she was going out with you, at least once a week, but i'm starting to realize it's not true, is it?"
you chewed on your lower lip as you continued stitching the wound, letting out a soft, quiet, "i'm sorry, rafe. i see her like, once a year on christmas."
rafe nodded his head slightly, "lucky you." the man chuckled dryly, "it all just... made me feel like i'm not enough. that no matter what, the people around me are gonna keep betraying me. that i can never trust anyone."
you let out a soft, humorless chuckle. "i know how that feels."
"you do?" rafe looked down at you, as you finished tying the end of his suture, cutting the thread.
you sat up straight, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you started packing away your stuff. "everyone's always preferred jenny over me. everyone's always picked her over me. my parents always preferred her. every guy i liked always thought she was prettier. all my friends always thought she was cooler." you chew on your lower lip, your throat starting to hurt from the emotion you were trying to hold back, avoiding his gaze, "my entire life, i spent living in her shadow. my entire life i've been 'jenny's sister' and nothing else."
"that can't be true."
"you know what my parents' reaction was when i got into med school?" you chuckled dryly, your eyes turning glassy as you finally looked to rafe, "'that's great sweetie. anyway, did you hear that jenny got engaged? her ring is so gorgeous. oh, and she's doing so well in law school!'" you mimicked your mother's voice, letting out a sigh. "and jenny thrives from it. she's always loved that she's better than me. even as kids, she did everything she could to one-up me."
"she's not." rafe took your shaking hand in his, enveloping it in his larger one, "you just stitched up a half-stranger when you could've just left when you saw me destroying shit. your sister would never do something that selfless. i don't even think she has a selfless bone in her body."
"you're starting to sound like me." you let out a chuckle, shaking your head, "how come you're engaged to her, then?"
"maybe i don't have any either." rafe shrugs, "but i'm not letting her get away with this. i'm not someone to be messed with."
"that sounds ominous."
"you have no idea." he smiles, squeezing your hand.
#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fic#rafe imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe obx#outer banks fic#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you
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havin' deep and uncomfortable conversations around the christmas tree (rin itoshi x gn!reader)
(a continuation of this more ryusae-centric drabble) being unexpectedly vulnerable with you wasn't really on rin itoshi's christmas wishlist. but he does want to ask you something else, and it would really make his christmas if you said yes. you will get a sentimental feelin' when you hear voices singin', "let's be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holly" || wc: 861 || tags/cw: hurt/comfort, background ryusae, itoshi brother drama (but they're working on it), rin is bad at telling people how he feels (he's working on that too) series m.list
you watch the video ryusei just sent you. it’s... of him slapping sae’s ass really hard, but after months of being stuck with them as your roommates, your humor is broken. you whip your head around, giggling, ready to show it to rin, but your smile fades when you see the crease between his eyebrows. that only happens when he realises he's forgotten to buy groceries, or…
or when sae texts him.
you set down the box of baubles tucked under your arm and take his hands in yours, brushing his hair out of his eyes so you can look at him properly. even so, he doesn't look you in the eye.
“everything okay?” you ask softly.
he blinks. you feel his hands clench into fists within yours.
“yeah. everything's fine.”
“what did he say?”
"he wants to have lunch with me tomorrow.”
you furrow your brows slightly. “well, then you should go. i know we have plans, but we could always go another day.”
he nods, but he's got his brooding face on, still. there's something he's not telling you, and you're determined to get it out of him on this not-very-eventful saturday afternoon.
so you flop onto the ground by the christmas tree - the christmas tree the two of you are in the midst of decorating. wiggling your way into the shade of the lower leaves, you tug on his pant leg.
“well? join me!”
looking slightly bemused, he lays down on the floor and positions himself opposite you. admiring his beautiful eyelashes up close, you twirl a lock of his hair around your finger. he smiles at this, his breath fanning over your face.
you ask him point-blank, then, when he might least expect it.
“what are you afraid of?”
“nothing.”
“liar.”
you stare at him as seriously as you can, and he stares back with double the intensity. you’re locked in, you could say - it’s a shared tradition of yours that whenever you have a staring contest, winner takes all. the last cookie. choice of date location. or something you want to know.
seconds creep by. thirty. forty-five. a minute. a minute and fifteen. tears start to pool in your dehydrated eyes.
rin's gaze softens some.
"are we about to kiss?" you mutter weakly.
"give up, darling," he advises gently.
a tear runs down your cheek. "no."
he makes a tsking noise at your stubbornness, and slowly - very, very slowly - he closes his eyes.
"i'm scared that sae is going to treat me differently now that we're both grown up and he knows we can't ever go back to what we were before."
you blink.
damn, that's...
he opens his eyes. "happy?"
it’s like a punch to the gut when he says it like that.
"of course not," you mumble. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have pressured you to say anything at all."
rin sighs heavily. "i think a part of me kind of wanted to tell you anyway, so."
"do you want to tell me more?"
he nods.
"when we were kids, it was all so easy. i looked up to him - i still do. we were together 24/7. we did everything together. and then he left for spain. came back a changed person. and okay, i get that he wants to reconcile and all, but it's just weird. he's really trying his best, and i am too. but we'll never be how we were in the past. it's too late for that."
"oh, honey..."
you want to reach over and hug him until he can't breathe, but then you remember you're lying on the floor. you scoot over to lie by his side.
"the important thing is that you're both trying really hard. you're talking to him more often, meeting him for meals - and sae really does want to make things right. i literally live with the man! he lets ryusei check his spelling in the texts he sends you."
"really?"
"yes, really. so you don't have to be worried. not at all."
“okay.”
you see the crease between his eyebrows has disappeared, and peck him on the nose. his lips twitch, and you see him open his mouth –
“move in with me.”
what?
“i want you in my life,” rin murmurs, abrupt, blunt, but that's how he does things, after all. “because i love you, and i want to be with you all the time.”
you're temporarily frozen in place, utterly surprised. but that quickly gives way to a rush of affection for your boyfriend, and you pepper his face with little kisses as he chuckles.
“i'll take that as a yes, then,” he says dryly, and you give him another kiss for his troubles.
you think of sae and ryusei, and pout. “i'm going to miss having them as roommates, though.”
“but would they make you breakfast pancakes every day?”
you pretend to collapse in his arms. “i’m going to wife you up one day, itoshi.”
he reaches for the switch on the christmas lights strung along the tree branches, and you look up, and your vision is filled with sparks of colour.
and in your little world, all is perfect.
this is what's happening btw (it probably wasn't very clear)
a/n: i never thought i would write for rin because for some weird reason i didn't like him when i watched his anime debut but like?? is he not so much like todoroki? (if todoroki was more edgy ig) but yeah i was prepared to write him as a sweetheart in this one
taglist: @anglefish3008, @standcom (open, leave a comment on any post in this series to be added!)
bllk masterlist || general masterlist
© sirhamburrger 2024
#blue lock#bllk#bllk x reader#bllk drabble#rin itoshi#rin itoshi bllk#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin x you#rin itoshi drabble#kai writes#miniseries: jingle bell lock
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Back To Normalcy
[JJ Maybank x reader]
summary: JJ often caught your unfocused gaze drifting to a random corner, lost inside your head. After Morocco, he noticed that a lot.
pairing: jj maybank x f!reader
w.c: 2.8K
warnings/content: near death experiences (flashbacks); obx4 ending is discussed (as in graphic descriptions of what happened so be aware); jj being the best whipped boyfriend; PTSD is hinted; hurt/comfort (trust me, no one dies); paragraphs in italics are flashbacks.
A/N: this is kind of a fix-it and it is set after the pogues find the blue crown. it will have discrepancies regarding canon cause I didn't watch obx4 part 2. bear with me. I'm editing this in the middle of class lol. merry christmas to those who celebrate and a happy new years!!!
navi
masterpost
obx masterlist
request me something
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“So it's like... We gotta think of everything. Yeah, we found it, but we gotta—”
“... Have a solid plan, yeah, Pope.” John B cut him off, earning a glare which made the edge of his lips quirk up in amusement. If there was one thing the Pogues had fun in doing, that thing was annoying Pope Heyward. It was just too easy. “Sorry, sorry.” The Routledge boy raised his arms, pretending to surrender but the grin in his mouth betrayed him. John B never felt the will to smile more than he did in that moment. He had his friends. His family. With him. Safe and sound. Finally. Everyone in one piece. Barely. . . And back home. What more could he ask for?
What more could any of them ask for, really?
You tuned out the conversation for the tenth time that night. You loved bonfires. Especially the ones where your friends organized, where you felt at home around their stupid jokes and drunk laughter.
But you couldn't focus tonight. Somehow you always ended up right back in the scalding sand of Morocco, blood sipping through your fingers as tried desperately to stop it. Your screams of agony even though you weren't the one stabbed echoed through your brain like you had worked hard to memorize it.
You'd rather it had been you, actually. No doubt about that.
The soft nudge in your leg made you step out of the infusion of bad memories your head had conjured up. As your eyes adjusted to the bonfire's flames, you noticed all your friends staring at you in expectancy.
“What?”
Instead of the nudge, you felt cold fingers come in contact with your thigh and you almost flinched at the coldness — that coldness — before you caught the beer bottle in his hand. With a gentle squeeze to your thigh, JJ brought you back to Earth.
“I was just tellin' them here,” he began, leaving his beer aside to scoot closer. “how I'm gonna kidnap you to South America any moment now.”
“Hey.” You forced your breathing to slow down. He didn't need you freaking out now, he needed you to be on your best sane behavior, that's what JJ needed. He needed you. “Jay? Baby, take a deep breath, it's alright.”
“He, um...” JJ's shaky hands reached yours and you shook your head when his fingers curled around your bloody ones in his stomach. “I can't— You—”
“I'm here. It's okay. It's gonna be okay, yeah? You just, you just have to keep breathing. Slowly, like me? Okay?”
Where was everybody?
“And how are you gonna do that?” You forced out, taking a long sip of your beer in a foolish attempt of drowning the memories in your head.
Sarah let out a snicker and Cleo's thick accent scolded somebody but you couldn't bring yourself to the present moment. No, you were still fucking there.
“Pope!” You bellowed now unable to control the shakiness of your hands as they tried to stop the blood. So much blood. So much blood. Why? “John B! Where is— Kiara! Baby, hey, hey!” You used one of your hands to grab his cheek, tilting his head to look at you, his half-lidded eyes showed you how weak he was. You didn't care that his pretty face was smeared with your bloody hands, you had to make him stay awake. “JJ? JJ!”
He blinked with difficulty, gazing up at you. “Hi...” And he had the decency to smile. He smiled! How can someone who has been stabbed smile and it takes your breath away the same away? You never thought you'd see his last smile and you shouldn't even be thinking of that because you both are young and have a whole life ahead of you so why would you be thinking of your boyfriend's last smile?
“Hey.” You cried out. “J, you gotta stay awake for me, okay? I'm getting help. You just have to—”
“I love you.”
Certainly, your whole body froze right at that second. That hadn't been the first time he said it, no. JJ made sure to let you know he loved you thousands of times ever since he said the three little words for the first time. And every time he said it, you felt the warmth of his arms around you, his sunbathed skin against yours and the softness of his lips curling in his favorite spot on your neck after a long day.
That's what “I love you” means when JJ says it.
Except now there was no warmth because he felt cold. Everything regarding him was cold. The kind of coldness a boy with the sun in his smile shouldn't have. There was no smile, not the same smile, at least. There was no life because your favorite boy was saying goodbye and that's what his words meant this time.
Coming back to the bonfire was almost as if a bucket of cold water had been splashed in your face. Your friends had vanished. Nobody was around but you.
“Hey.”
. . . And JJ.
You should've thought he wouldn't have left you alone.
“Hey,” you offered him a half-assed smile. “Where's everyone?”
“Inside.” He mentioned towards the house with a jerk of his head before turning back to you. His cerulean eyes studied your frame for a bit before he let out a sigh, standing up and outstretching a hand in your direction.
You stared at it and him with a raise of your brow. A question.
There was nothing JJ hated more than waiting. So, he didn't wait. He lowered fully to kiss your lips since you were sitting down, enjoying the way they parted in surprise. Stealthily, he wrapped an arm behind your back and beneath your knees and before you could react he pulled you up as if you weighted a penny.
“Jesse James Maybank!”
Oh, he was well aware he was in deep shit when you say that but hell, he missed having a reaction from you that was something other than forced smiles and blank stares.
JJ often caught your unfocused gaze drifting to a random corner, lost inside your head. After Morocco, he noticed that a lot.
“Not the government name, babe.”
“Dude, put me down.”
A gasp. “And now I've been called dude what has this world become!”
He halted near the water, after walking across the beach for a few long minutes with you in his arms. You just stopped fighting, slapping his butt at every step he took.
“You think it's the drums or somethin'?”
“Could be.”
As he sent a look of disapproval your way once he placed you down on your feet, it pulled a laugh out of you.
His fingers — no longer cold — cupped your cheeks and brought you closer. “Do it again.”
“Do what?”
His eyes carried that glint of pure joy mixed with the ocean blue that would get you hypnotized. You just didn't know why this time.
“Your laugh. Haven't heard it in so long.”
Oh.
“That's not true.” You held his wrists just to feel the warmth of his skin when he began caressing your cheeks.
JJ hummed, the sound a gentle protest against your claim. He's come a long way to know your little tells, so he wasn't not easily fooled. With a glance in your way, he knew the hidden meanings.
“Uh, yeah. It is, babe.”
You pulled your hair behind your ears, burying your toes in the sand as you racked your brain to seek an excuse that would work to get you out of that conversation. Any excuse would do, really. But you feared you used all of them since you came back from Morocco. And he knew that.
“Are you ready to talk about it?”
Your throat bobbed as you swallowed down with difficulty.
“Are you?”
“That's not what I asked.”
You finally glanced up, finding him staring forward at the waves, almost distracted. No, not almost. The look in his eyes, you recognize in yourself when drifted back to two weeks ago and the horror took over your mind. It didn't only happen to the two of you, you remember that every time you caught John B outside in the middle of the night, arms behind his head as he stared at nowhere in particular. Or Sarah, when she would crawl up into your bed saying she missed you but you knew exactly what she meant by that. Or Cleo. Oftentimes you needed to force something out of her given everything she went through otherwise she would shove it all in and then never share. Or Pope, because he lost a lot and yes he would never say he hated the whole chasing gold adventure or Poguelandia but he missed safety and a time when you didn't have to worry about danger at your every corner. He's getting used to peace a little more now. Or Kiara, the girl who was a fighter through and through and would choose her friends over anyone in the world, but she needed reassurance once in a while and you all would coddle her a little when you knew it was time for it.
The look.
They all had it. They all suffered through stuff that made them carry it.
And not talking about it made it worse, you told Cleo that once, but since when did you ever take your own advice?
“Yeah, well, Jayj.” You begin, crossing your arms over your chest as the wind picked up. “It happened to you, not to me. It's you who should be ready to talk about it, not me.”
“I remember the blood in your hands, my blood,” JJ still didn't look at you. He was ready to talk about it, not ready-ready but he could accept what happened. That he almost wasn't here. “I remember your voice asking—pleading for me to not close my eyes—”
“Stop.”
JJ finally turned to you, his lips tugging downwards with sadness. “See? It's you who can't talk about it.”
“You almost died in my arms and you expect me to just accept that as if it was a common occurrence?!” It came out as an accusation but in reality you didn't really blame him. He had no fault whatsoever in being stabbed and almost dying. The fault relayed only on the person who caused this torture on all of you. “I can't...” Your voice cracked with newfound emotion. “I can't imagine living in a world where you're not in it, JJ.”
Before he could speak, you cut him off. The dam had broke and now everything you had been hold it in was going to be unleashed.
“You told me you loved me and then you... You stopped breathing.”
He blinked, brows furrowing in thought. JJ knew there was some things he couldn't entirely recall that day, but he didn't remember that.
“I love you.”
If his heartbeat was faint before, now it was non-existent and if felt like the weight of the world had crumbled down on you.
“Open your eyes,” you begged, grabbing his cheeks as a cry of pain left your lips. He was cold. His eyelids shut as if he was sleeping. He was calm. “JJ, open your eyes!” And that's when you felt something touch your shoulder, different hands and voices beside you. All you could focus was on him. “No, c'mon. Jay. Jay? I didn't—” you held his head to your chest, fully sobbing. It was like your heart was being ripped apart. “I didn't say it back.”
Even if she had told him she loved him as many times before, she hadn't say it one last time in time.
You flinched slightly when you were pulled into a pair of arms, fingers reaching the back of your neck to gently press you against a chest. A beating heart welcomed your ears and you didn't realize you were crying until the sobs must've echoed the entire beach.
“I'm sorry, I don't— I don't remember that.”
Your cries were muffled by his shirt. “It wasn't your fault,” you said, your chest tight. “I wish it hadn't gotten to that point cause it was... Fuck.”
JJ tightened his arms around your shoulders, burying his face into your neck. He was still clearly shaken up by what happened, reasonably so. But seeing you like that... He would've take back every decision he made that took your group to that moment just so you wouldn't have to go through that.
He complained when you pulled back a little, drying your tears to glance up at him. Your lips stretching into a timid smile. A real one.
“I'm glad you're okay.” You said with a nod, exhaling as the fog diminished significantly. “I'm happy. But I'm so deeply sorry that I couldn't do more. That I almost let you—”
“Hey, no, no.” JJ was quick to interrupt your train of thought, grabbing your shoulders. “Do not even go there, alright? Absolutely not. Don't even— babe.” He leaned down to connect your foreheads. “You saved my life. All of you. You really think I'd be fine with going... wherever that I wouldn't be able to annoy the shit out of you? I mean— ow!”
You glared at him after punching his forearm though you weren't upset as soon as he gave you his disarming grin that turned your legs to Jell-O.
“You told me you can't imagine living in a world where I'm not in it, right? Well.” JJ brought your hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles as his blue eyes full of life studied you in a serious manner. “I happen to absolutely not want to live in a world without in it either...” He tugged you closer. “It would be boring as hell and that's why I would probably, I don't know, crawl out of whatever grave I was in to tickle your feet during the night.”
“Fuck off.” You groaned with a laugh and he shut you up with a kiss, his hand crawling up on your back to press your closer.
“I can't live without your sounds,” he kissed the edge of your mouth, then moved towards your jaw. “Any of them. I can't live without your smile or seeing your lashes fluttering before you wake up. Or without seeing you when you're pissed at me and you pout the entire time, it just makes me want to kiss you but I know it would earn me a punch in the neck.”
“Yeah it would.”
He chuckled, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his middle. He held the back of your thighs, thumbs running through your smooth skin.
“Hey.” He said softly, bumping his nose with yours as the waves crashed a few feet away, butting in on your moment. “I love you. And I'm gonna stay in your life for as long as you let me. There will be no stupid rushed goodbyes or near-death experiences that will stop that, alright?” He smiled when you nodded, pressing your lips to his. “Yeah.” He started kissing your whole face then just to listen to the inevitable sound of your laugh again. He could never get tired of it. JJ would crawl out of hell just to hear that sound for the rest of his life.
“And about that South America trip—”
“I'm in.” You said, resting your chin on his shoulder, fingertips scratching his scalp as you stared at the sea. “You can kidnap me to wherever you want.”
His excited laughter echoed in your ears like your favourite song chiming in during a stormy night.
“Oh we're gonna have so much fun.” JJ started rambling on his way back to the house, you in his arms because he refused to put you down. “I'm finally teaching you how to surf! And we can visit all the beaches in Brazil, 'm gonna show you some pictures, it'll be amazin', baby, you'll see.”
“I can't wait.” You mumbled with a kiss to his temple. “Are you just gonna carry me around or...”
“Yes.” He pecked your lips, hands squeezing your waist lightly which earned a proper curse out of you and his usual untamed laugh that you were crazy about. “Just stay put and look pretty.”
You rolled your eyes, wrapping both arms around his neck and didn't complain. Why would you? You had your favorite boy holding you in his arms, rambling about your future plans to South America on his way to your place. You had nothing to complain about.
You just had to get used to getting back to normalcy.
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taglist: @hoeshissworld
#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x you#jj maybank x fem!reader#outer banks fanfiction#obx season 4#outer banks imagine#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank fanfiction
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... And Fall In Love Whenever You Can.
A/N: This fic genuinely had me tearing up as I wrote it. Therefore, it shall hold a sweet place in my heart. As a kid, I used to say, "If something makes you feel, then it is good." I still believe that today. If it makes you happy, sad, flustered, ANYTHING! To feel something while reading is such a beautiful reaction to media. I often cry at movies, I cry when I read romance novels, I cry when I read poetry, and I laugh when I do, too. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you feel something, Em <3 (I also apologize for vanishing; I got sick, and it made me feel brain fog)
Link to the Ao3: ... And Fall In Love Whenever You Can Link to the: Yee olde masterlist Tags: Grief support group, mention of death(s), loss of romantic partners, struggling with mental health, tears, the rise and fall that is nonlinear healing, fear of forgetting a loved one, falling in love after tragedy, Spencer sounds like he had therapy, Maeve mentioned, guns mentioned, she/her pronouns for reader used at like one point, Reader's POV for the most part, Reader is in extreme denial and feels guilty, a secret other thing??, lightly proofread tehe!
Genre: Light Angst, Some? Hurt/Comfort, Fluff! Pairing: Season10! Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Plot: Meeting Spencer at a grief support meeting might be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to you- but it's all relative in the eyes of love.
Word Count: 9,791
You were pacing a dimly lit parking lot outside of the funeral home. It had been eleven months, two weeks, and three days since Alexander’s death. The grief meetings occurred every third Wednesday, and everyone was lovely enough. You just couldn’t find it in yourself to go inside this particular Wednesday. Because it was on this date, two years ago, Alexander had gotten on one knee at the aquarium and asked you to marry him. It was two years ago that you had said yes, not knowing that a little over a year from then, he’d be dead.
Your feet kept making strides to the double door entryway, only to slow to a stop when your hands reached the door’s push handle. Then, you’d shake your head and turn around to circle the parking lot once more. With your luck, the meeting would be over before you even got the courage to go inside.
A groan escapes your throat as you firmly put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the Summer sky. “I’m sorry,” Your voice is raw, barely a whisper as you struggle to keep yourself from crying. You knew everyone said not to keep it in, to express your grief freely. It minimized stress. At least, that’s what the grief counselors say.
The worst part was no longer knowing who you were apologizing to— yourself or Alexander.
You were walking around one of the parking lot’s street lamps when you saw someone standing at the doors, frozen in place. It was like watching a mirror of yourself—rigid shoulders, twitching hands, shaking head.
You approach the man slowly, your image warped in the reflection of the glass doors. He turns to face you before you can speak, and he looks like you did eleven months ago. His eyes have dark circles around them, tinted with a red water-line and dull cheeks. That doesn’t stop you from gracing him with a gentle smile, “Are you going inside?”
His eyes meet yours for a second, looking away to glance back at the doors. “I’m not sure.” His voice is quiet, scared. He sounds like he is still on the fence. You nod, drawing your lips into a tiny line as you drop your hands to your sides. “Are you?” He asks, stepping out of the way for you.
You feel your mouth open to say you are going inside, but the words never come. Instead, you shake your head side-to-side timidly. “I’m not sure either,” You laugh out feebly. He nods, a dull smile gracing his delicate features for a millisecond before looking off with a forlorn expression.
“I was thinking about walking around the parking lot again… to try to gain the confidence to go inside. You’re,” you pause, wondering if it's a good idea to offer the man an invitation, “You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.”
The man looks at you again, his eyes widening for a second. You’re sure he’s about to decline, return to his car, and drive away, but he nods. You feel yourself smiling. It’s a little subdued, but it’s real. You mouth a silent ‘okay’ as you move your hands to your pant pockets, stepping away from the doors with this mourning stranger. You figured you didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to, so everything was quiet as the two of you slowly walked around the large parking lot.
Eventually, your quiet stranger speaks, “Thank you,”
You shrug a little, sniffling, “It’s daunting, especially the first meeting.”
He frowns a little, watching your eyes flit over to him and then back to the night sky. “That obvious?”
“Only a little, but that’s not a bad thing.” Your voice is gentle as your feet slow to a stop, a light smile appearing on your face as you stare into the night. Spencer tilts his head to look at the stars, silently hoping that what makes you smile will make him smile, too. “Do you see her yet?” You ask, voice like honey.
He feels like crying as he says, “No,” He doesn’t even know who you’re looking at.
Your right hand is coming out of your coat pocket as you point to Cassiopeia slowly, tracing the stars with your index finger. “Cassiopeia, she’s a little low right now, but in a few months, she’ll get higher. You see her?”
And Spencer does. He feels his body relax, just for a moment. “I do.” He feels himself smiling a little at the sky, and the feeling feels almost foreign. His gaze falls back to you as you stuff your right-hand pack into your pocket, “I’m– I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Spencer.”
“That’s alright; I didn’t introduce myself either,” you sigh before you tell him your name. He nods at your response and follows you once your feet start moving again.
“Have you—” He motions to the funeral home in the distance, “ever been inside?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m a funeral home grief support group regular.” You joke lightly, though the soft chuckle you let out sounds like a sad one.
He nods, nervously adjusting the beige cardigan on his chest. “Is everyone—I mean—” He draws his lips closed as he tries to gather his thoughts. “Do you like it?”
Your feet slow for a second as you think about it. Sure, everyone was friendly, and the support was more helpful than harmful. But did you like it? You give him a little nod when you answer, “Yeah, it’s been nice. Less,” You tilt your head slowly like you’re choosing your words carefully. “Less Lonely.”
Spencer lets out a relieved-sounding sigh as he mutters a gentle “Right.”
“I just,” You swallow carefully, “I’m having a hard time going in today. My fiancé proposed two years ago today. I just— I mean everyone inside knows, I just,” You trail off for a second, sniffling lightly as a cool breeze brushes against your watering eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”
Spencer didn’t know what to say to that. With Maeve, he had barely met her in person before she was murdered in front of him— the future pulled out from under him. Nowadays, he spends his time rereading books, remembering conversations on the phone, and mourning her silently in his apartment. Sometimes, he didn’t know which would be worse: losing her when he did or ten years down the line. Nonetheless, there is no Maeve to help him answer that question.
He struggles to find the words for a second before he nods, slow and unsure of himself, “It matters.”
You grin at how scared he sounds, the sound of a man holding on to the memory of a face that keeps fading away in his mind. “I know,” you can feel the ghost of the engagement ring on your left hand, a ring that now lies in a coffin.
As the two of you get close to the building once more, you ask, “Are you going to go in?”
Spencer swallows hard, the knot in his throat making it difficult for him to breathe. “Maybe next meeting,”
You nod, “Me too.” You stare at your car in the distance before you feel yourself standing in the parking lot with Spencer— unmoving. “I know it’s not a lot, and I know that I can’t help that much, but,” You pull your phone out of your pocket, opening the keypad cautiously before holding it out to him. “If you ever want to talk about it, or anything really, I’d be happy to talk with you.”
Normally, Spencer would decline such a kind gesture. He would thank you, drive home, and find solace in something familiar. His fingers twitch lightly as he reaches out for your phone, staring down at the keypad for a second before he puts in his number. He doesn’t know why he wants to talk with you. He thinks it’s because talking with a stranger about Maeve seemed less daunting than talking about it with his coworkers— his friends. You barely know him, and that makes your offer seem safe. No preconceived notions, pity, or gentle promises of being there for him, just a stranger talking to another stranger.
Two weeks go by like usual— no text from your stranger named Spencer, coffee for one at the café that was Alexander’s favorite, taking his mom to dinner on Thursdays, and so on. Sometimes, the days blur into a muddled painting filled with muted tones, and you try your hardest to remember when everything had a vibrant hue.
Most days are easy, easier than most, at least. It’s not that you forget about him. You remember him when you see a couple holding hands or golden retrievers going for walks, you think about him with everything you see, and it feels good to remember him. You’re happy to have known him so well, loved him so deeply. But all the love inside you has nowhere to go, so you go to his grave on Saturdays, hoping you can pour all the love in your heart onto a tombstone with his name on it. It never works, of course, but it helps.
You're running late this particular Saturday morning. You have two coffees in hand—one of which always goes untouched—and you’re stuck on the metro. That’s when you see him again, your stranger sitting in the fluorescents of the railcar.
Pushing through a small crowd, you approach him, slowly taking the empty seat next to him. Spencer doesn’t look up at first, his eyes glued to the book in his hands. That is until you’re leaning over to him to say a small “Hello,”
He jumps at the sound, head snapping to look at you with wide eyes. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised you remember him, but he is. “Hello,”
Your eyes meet his, “Do you remember me? I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have invaded–”
“No! I mean, yes, I remember you. You’re not invading my space. You’re fine.”
You let out a relieved sigh, looking away from him for a second to look down at the cups in your hands. His eyes follow your gaze, and he offers you a shy smile, “Are you meeting someone?” Small talk was never his strong suit.
You look at him, eyes lingering on his polite smile. “Oh,” you laugh like it's funny. “No, it's just me.” Spencer gives you a confused look, and you quickly answer his silent question. “I visit Alex’s grave. He loved black coffee. It was the most unsettling thing about him.”
Spencer doesn’t know how you’re smiling so wide as you say it. How could you talk about someone you lost and smile so wide talking about them? Would he smile like that one day? Would he even have things to smile about, or would what-ifs haunt him until the day he dies?
You find that you hate the silence that follows, the lack of sound creeping over your skin, making you itch to say something more. “I’ve always liked cemeteries too, so bonus, I guess.”
That gets you a sharp laugh, “You’ve always liked cemeteries?” Spencer’s eyes seem slightly brighter now, less red than two weeks ago, and they’re laser-focused on you.
You happily nod, “Always thought they were beautiful. It’s a creation of love, a way for your love for someone to live on.”
“Not sure everyone thinks about them that way,”
“Well, I guess they wouldn’t, and that’s alright with me.” You hum softly as the intercom announces in a static-filled voice that the railcar will be moving soon. “It’s quieter that way.”
Spencer glances towards the intercom for a second before turning back to you, “I suppose you’re right— about the quiet thing, not sure I agree with always liking them.” And he’s smiling at you, a real smile.
You feel yourself smiling back, wide as ever, “What’s your opinion on cemeteries then?”
“I’d like to say I don’t have an opinion on them, but if I had to form one, I would say they’re…” He trails off for a second, thinking about it more now. He laughs for a second, “Well, I suppose I find them rather serene.”
Your eyebrows raise for a second as you study him. How he seems to be relaxing in the conversation, and you can’t help but consider extending him an invitation to your weekly visit with Alexander. The longer you stare at him, the more you think the worst he can say is no, so you ask. “Would you like to join me?”
Spencer reels back slightly at the invitation; it feels intimate, yet he doesn’t want to say no. He wants to see what you see, to understand your mind, “I–” He looks away for a second, staring at the still-opened book in his lap. “If you’ll have me.”
Once you are on the street, you hum lightly while walking beside him. Spencer doesn’t seem to mind very much, his fingers fiddling with the edges of his book that now resides closed in his hand at his side. He’s nervous for some reason. He doesn’t understand why you invited him, nor why he said yes. He thinks maybe he should announce that he has other plans, turn on his heel, and book it in the other direction.
But when the two of you tread closer to the cemetery gates, you start talking again. “I hope you don’t find it strange that I invited you. It’s been a little under a year– well, a year next week– and I know it might seem weird, but I’d like to think he’s happy about me having a new friend.”
He knows it is a coping mechanism, and he knows Alexander cannot feel anything anymore. Spencer’s a man of science, but hearing you say that makes him feel at ease. His shoulders unwind slowly, “He sounded like a nice person,”
You let out a playful hum, “Sometimes. If he didn’t like you, he made it pretty obvious.” You pause for a second, glancing over at Spencer. “He was tall, kind of like you, and nerdy. But he was so funny; no one knew how funny he could be. They never listened hard enough, you know? I hated that people would talk over him in a crowd. To me, he was the only person worth listening to.”
Spencer finds him smiling at that, following you as you take a left. He sees that you're smiling, too, and when the two of you get to his grave, you’re still smiling. You let out a happy sigh as you talk, introducing Spencer as “Your new friend.”
For a while, you tell him stories—memories from when Alexander was still alive—and he finds he doesn’t mind listening to them. He sees them as a great distraction from his lack of happy stories with Maeve. You’re laughing a little as you tell him of the time that Alexander’s mother wouldn’t stop sending him a massive, bulk-sized trail mix every time she sent him a care package in college. He had so many bags that they lived under his bed for the better part of four years.
“Did he even like trail mix?”
“Honestly? Yes, but he only liked the chocolate and peanuts. It would just be massive bags with an abundance of raisins inside.” You shake your head a little as you stand next to Spencer.
Spencer lets out a slightly amused hum. His mind keeps going over how good you are with everything. You talk about Alexander openly. You don’t hold your feelings back. You smile so wide, even when you look at his headstone. He wants to know your secret— some secret to grief that he has yet to uncover.
His mouth opens briefly, closing quickly as he shifts his weight awkwardly beside you. He sucks in a nervous breath as he tries to muster up the courage to speak. “How do–” He sighs heavily, “I mean, I’m sure you struggle–” He licks his lips nervously, your eyes meeting his slowly. “When does it stop hurting?”
You’re silent for a second, your soft smile fading as you stare at him. He’s scared that maybe that’s the wrong question to ask as he watches you turn your head to look down at Alexander’s grave. He is about to apologize when you whisper, “It feels different now.”
Spencer’s mouth snaps shut as he waits for more, his eyes scanning your side profile slowly for some sort of sign that you’re uncomfortable. “Last year, it just felt like–” A pause, your free hand rising to your chest slowly. “It felt like someone had plunged a dull knife into my chest and left me for dead.”
Spencer’s chest tightened for a second, his own heart feeling painfully dull as he listened to you.
“But, I’m not the one who died. Alex did. I was so angry— disappointed that he had the nerve to leave me when we were about to start the next chapter of our lives together. I had–have– all this love inside my heart for him, and he’s gone. It took me a long time to understand that, to be okay with it.”
Your words catch in your throat, and you clear your throat quickly. The familiar burn of tears threatens to build in your eyes as you force yourself to look at Alexander’s grave. “He was so kind, and once I got past that feeling,” your voice sounded thick. “Life kept going, and so did I. He wouldn’t have wanted me to stop living my life. When you love someone, you only want them to be happy– with or without you.”
You sniffle lightly, relaxing your shoulders slightly, “It never stops hurting, I guess, but days get better. I’m happy that I got to be a part of his life. I find some comfort in that. Somewhere, in the story of him, I’m there.” Eventually, you find the courage to look over at Spencer. When your eyes meet his, you find that he’s staring at you with a compassionate expression. You can see the understanding in his eyes. You swallow hard, pushing the emotional lump down your throat.
“It does get better.” You whisper, your voice warm.
Spencer nods quickly, mouthing a little ‘I know’ before his eyes trail away from you for a second. A cool breeze passes between the two of you when he says, “Just needed the reminder,”
The next time you see him, it’s the third Wednesday of the month, and he sits right next to you. You find yourself smiling a little when he does, nudging his shoulder playfully as more people fill the space. He scoffs playfully, the silent gesture letting you know he’s happy you’re here.
The meeting passes like usual: New members share their stories, grief counselors hand out business cards with their phone numbers, recurring members offer kind sentiments, and then, just near the end, your seat partner stands up.
Your eyes widen for a second as you watch Spencer stand, his eyes laser-focused ahead as people turn to look at him. You watch how his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. A shaky breath leaves him as he tries his hardest to start talking. His hands flex for a second, pressing against his pants to wipe off what you can only assume is sweat.
He stutters for a second, his confidence creeping away from him. You’re surprised when he turns his head to look at you. His breathing steadies as he watches you. “I’ve been having difficulties sleeping again. After,” His hands move a little as he speaks, his eyes periodically looking towards the rest of the group before trailing back over to you, “I just– I used to have a hard time sleeping, and lately, it’s been happening again. Every time I sleep, I see her, and I feel so–” He used to dream of her after her death, dreamt of touching her, but these were different. Dreams that constantly left him waking up feeling devastatingly alone.
He shakes his head a little, “It’s been seven months, and I keep dreaming of everything that could have been.”
The confession is met with comfortable silence and sympathetic looks, but not from you. You’re nodding, an encouraging smile spreading across your face. For some reason, he likes that better. “I don’t like leaving her when I wake up.” The admission feels like a weight lifting off his chest when he says it.
There’s a pause of silence before he sits down, unsure of what else to say besides his admission. As one of the counselors begins to talk to Spencer, he finds himself listening intensely. Seven months, and he’s finally willing to take some much-needed advice.
After that month’s meeting, Spencer has back-to-back cases. He’s keen on keeping in contact with you, which you’ve said he doesn’t have to do if he doesn’t want to, but he insists. He likes having someone to update, a friend waiting to see him when he’s free.
The next time he’s free, it’s a rare Saturday. He’s been awake since five and can’t seem to go back to sleep. He does keep dreaming of Maeve, but they’re a little different now. This time, he was in a cemetery with you. It was freezing, the kind of cold where you could see your breath, and you were laughing about something when the two of you bumped into her. Maeve’s not angry. She just laughs and glances at Spencer before hugging you. You hug her right back and say something– and that’s when he wakes up.
Spencer doesn’t like the feelings that stir inside him with that dream: confusion, curiosity, sadness, something else. The feeling is warm, tinged with an overcoat of sorrow, and he finds himself needing a good distraction.
However, reading isn’t helping, nor is the crossword. So eventually, he finds himself getting ready to go out for the day in the search of a good distraction that will get his mind off his dream.
He doesn’t know why he thinks about the cemetery where Alex’s grave is on his way to get coffee that day, but he does. A part of him feels that a nice walk will do him good, so, coffee in hand, he finds himself walking… then taking the subway… then ending up in front of Alex’s grave… alone.
Spencer’s lips slightly pout when he sees no coffee cup on the headstone. He knows that you have yet to visit your late fiancé today. He doesn’t exactly know why he’s visiting your late fiancé today; without you, it feels… strange.
The longer Spencer stares at the letters etched in stone, the more he feels a realization dawn on him. He feels guilty… guilty for dreaming of you, guilty for craving your warmth right now, and guilty for a million different little reasons.
Spencer feels his lips part for a second, a sigh escaping his lungs, before he whispers, “I’m a mess. " He knows he’s talking to thin air, but he feels lighter, admitting it to himself.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling. All I know is that I shouldn’t be, and it won’t do anyone any good, and secretly I think–” He sucks in a cold breath of air, “Secretly, I think I don’t deserve it.” The grave is silent, of course, but Spencer smiles anyway.
For a while, he thought his future had passed him by. A brief image graced his vision before leaving him blind. He can see now. He sees that he still has things to do, goals to accomplish, people to meet. Then he’s walking away.
Two meetings and four coffee ‘dates’ later, you’re rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you watch Spencer laugh over something with one of the grief counselors. It’s a strange feeling to see him laugh so openly. It's heartwarming if you’re being honest. It’s hard to explain it, and the feeling is too intense– too raw. It’s a feeling you dimly remember, and suddenly, you’re nauseous.
You have a crush, which is incredibly laughable because you’re an adult. The last time you had a crush on someone was three years ago, Alexander. This almost feels cruel. The longer you stare at him, the more real it becomes.
Spencer catches your eye for a second and excuses himself from the conversation in his polite Spencer way. When he reaches you, he smiles warmly: “Somebody’s all smiles.” You hum with a playful roll of your eyes.
Spencer pouts for a second, good-natured and playful, as he mutters a little, “When did smiling become a crime?”
“It isn’t. I’m just being observant, and you have a nice smile.” You try to keep your voice calm and level, but he seems to catch on anyway. Spencer’s eyes seem laser-focused on you, studying you carefully. Internally, you’re beginning to pray that his profiling skills fail to notice the classic signs: your sweaty palms, wandering gaze, and too-tense shoulders.
And if he does notice… you hope he doesn’t say anything. That’s not Spencer’s way, and you know it. “Everything okay?”
You nod quickly, “I’m good, sorry, I was just thinking about… bills.” You know he catches the lie the second you say it; you can see it in his amused smile.
“Bills?”
“Bills.”
“I’m not sure I like this story you’re going with, but if you’re sticking to it, I won’t pry.”
You nod, letting your shoulders relax as you sling your bag over your shoulder. “Thank you,”
“I was thinking,” Spencer starts as he grabs his messenger bag, following you out. “We could get dinner together Friday night.”
“Why?” Your tone is a little flatter than you’d like it to be as Spencer walks you to your car. You'll admit the idea of being alone with him is nice, but the admission feels strange— still too raw, surreal.
“Because…” He trails off slowly, hoping to find a better reason than it being because he wants to have dinner with you, but the longer he sits with the ideas, the more he feels like you’ll turn down his idea. He feels self-preservation take over, and for the first time (and what he hopes is the only time), he lies to you. “My teammates are having a get-together.”
“Oh!” You say as the two of you reach your car. “And you want me to meet them or?” The idea seems less daunting. Yes, Spencer and you had been to get coffee together, but that was just coffee. Dinner seemed too intimate, but dinner with friends? Now, that was less scary.
“Yeah! Yes, I think it’d be nice!’ Spencer’s voice cracks slightly before nervously clearing his throat in a weak attempt to control the anxiety that creeps into his tone. “Would you… like to meet them?”
You’re leaning against your car door, and the air smells sharp with the promise of snow, and Spencer’s sure you’ll decline. You grin, nodding slightly, “Sure, I mean, it’s just dinner with friends. What time Friday?” Your arms fold over your chest, pulling your coat closer to your body.
“Six.” He doesn’t know how his fake dinner has a time, but he’s surprised at how easy it is to come up with one. “Nothing fancy. I’ll, um, text you the address.”
You watch him for a second, trying to read him the way he reads you. His voice seems higher in pitch, and his eyes keep glancing at yours. You chalk it up to him being nervous. The combination of two groups already frying his nerves before it even happens. “Can’t wait. See you Friday.”
Spencer stuffs his freezing hands in his pockets as he watches you enter your car and drive off. Then, the panic sets in.
He’s tailing Derek desperately, “Listen, I know it’s rushed, but–”
“I don’t see why you can’t just text her the address and ask her out. Straightforward.” Derek says as he takes the left towards Penelope’s office. “Or you could say we canceled and make it just the two of you.”
“Considering I already lied to her once, I’d rather not lie twice. And–” He fumbles with his words for a short second. “It’s not a date. I just thought she thought it was one, and I panicked.”
“What’s wrong with it being a date?” Derek asks, knocking on the door gently before entering Penelope’s office.
“Date?” Penelope echoes back as she turns in her chair.
Spencer holds out a hand defensively, “It wouldn’t— it’s complicated! Please say yes. You’re the first person I’ve asked.”
“Asked what? Am I going to be asked?” Penelope chirps as Derek hands her a coffee.
“Pretty boy here,” Derek motioned to Spencer with a light wave, “Lied to one of his ladies. Invited her to a team dinner that doesn’t exist.”
“A team dinner would be fun! With a new addition, too!” Penelope said with a sip of her coffee. “When?”
“Friday,” Spencer mumbles, avoiding her gaze.
“Friday, as in, tomorrow Friday?” She sucks in a breath of air, “Spencer…”
He frowns and mouths a little, ‘I know’. He looks at them, pleading, “Please, even if it’s just the two of you…” He trails off slowly, watching Penelope and Derek share a look.
“I’ll text the rest of the group.”
“Not the whole story,” Spencer adds as Penelope pulls out her phone. “Please.”
“I’m already doing you one favor, boy genius.”
Spencer is surprised at how many of his team members agree to dinner. JJ, Penelope, and Derek all promise to bring their respective partners. Rossi and Hotch politely decline, but given his sudden plans, he doesn’t blame them.
However, by the time five-thirty rolls around, he can see that he’s been played. The first text comes from JJ, claiming that Henry is sick and that she can’t make it. Derek follows, saying that he accidentally double-booked and cannot cancel his reservation with Savannah. He can feel himself sending a silent prayer to Penelope before she, too, is texting him to cancel.
So now, he stands outside the restaurant in a long brown trench coat and purple scarf tied tight around his neck. When you arrive, adorned with a cream sweater and rosy cheeks, you ask him the inevitable: “Where’s the team?”
Spencer's throat tightens as he answers, “They’ve canceled, so it’ll be just us if that’s alright with you?”
He can see your smile falter momentarily before you nod, “That’s fine, another time.” You shiver a little, glancing towards the restaurant. “Should we…?” Spencer, silently elated that you aren’t leaving, nods and hurriedly rushes over to open the door for you.
Once seated, you are greeted by a slightly uncomfortable awkward silence. You’re sure that it will soon resolve itself, but Spencer seems too lost in his thoughts, and it becomes clear that if you want this long silence to end, you’ll have to speak first.
“I’m sorry every–”
“Do you–”
The two of you stare at each other briefly before laughing softly. Spencer’s eyes crinkle a little when he’s laughing, a feature you seem to be adoring silently before he says, “I’m sorry that everyone canceled.”
You push out a little breath, your gaze falling to the menu on the table. “That’s okay, I’m sure everyone has busy lives.” You shrug a bit before glancing up at him, “I do have a question for you, though,” You watch as Spencer’s back straightens, and he gives you a small smile as the ‘go ahead.’
You flatten out the front of your sweater nervously, “Do you think it’s weird that I was supposed to meet your friends— the team?”
Spencer gives you a slightly confused look before you quickly add, “I don’t think it is, but I was talking to my coworker about tonight, and she said it seemed like an excuse for a date. Then I explained it, and she called it weird, and I don’t know—Do you think it’s weird?”
Spencer can feel his cheeks heating up against his will, and his head shakes from side to side, “No! No, it’s not weird.” he pauses, thinking about it for a second. “Well, maybe a little. But not for you, for me. You’ve never expressed an intense interest in meeting them, but they mentioned bringing someone, and I thought—” He motions to you with a shaky hand, “Thought you’d be a good person to bring to dinner. You’re lovely, and my friend, and I—” he feels the rest of his words die in his throat. He wants to tell you that he wants the team to meet you. He wants everyone to see how wonderful and kind you are.
He feels his mouth dry, realizing he wants you to meet the team now. He wants a third party to witness your calming effect on him, and, most importantly, he wants them to like you because he likes you.
A slow ringing grows in his ears at the full realization of his feelings for you. Your smile, usually calming, has his heart leaping in his chest. He finds himself leaning closer when you say, “I didn’t think it was weird either,”
Spencer lets out a little huff of relief, “Good, that’s good.” His heart was beating fast in his chest. He knew he had feelings for you but was unaware of how deep they ran.
“Though I will say, it is strange that they all canceled.”
He feels awful lying to you. He can count two lies now and doesn’t want to tell a third. “Yeah, I can’t explain that one. They all did it at the last minute. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t mind, though I was scared this was all a set-up for a date.” You laugh as if it’s the silliest idea you’ve heard.
Spencer can feel his heart in his throat, his breathing quickening slightly. “Would it be bad if it was?” he can’t stop the words from spilling out, his eyes widening at his sentence.
Your surprised face stares back at his, breathless as you look at him. You’re about to say something when the waitress comes by to take your order. You manage a slight, polite smile as you order before you’re staring off at Spencer. His nervous eyes flicker between the waitress and you as he orders quickly.
When she’s gone, you stare at each other with bated breath. You draw in a slow, calming breath when you say, “I don’t know,”
“You don’t… know?”
“I just, I haven’t thought about—” You pause, knowing it’s a lie. “I have—” You correct gently before you let out a frustrated sigh. “I thought we were friends.” Your voice cracks slightly.
Spencer draws his head back at that, “We are friends. We are. I didn't know if you ever thought about—” He doesn’t know what he’s saying. What is he aiming for here?
“Anyone dating you would be lucky, Spencer.” You say, sweet and gentle. You don’t know how to save this situation. Your love for Alexander will always be in your heart, strong and genuine, but… looking at the man across from you.
You watch his fingers nervously trace patterns on the glass of water in front of him, how he’s looking at you with such a sweet expression. You just didn’t think this would happen to you. You were sure that Alex was it. He was all you would ever know— you had resigned yourself to it.
Would you be a bad person if you fell in love again? After everything, it feels… selfish, dirty, wrong, terrifying. “I’m not sure I’m your best option.” Is what you settle on.
Your heart silently breaks as you watch Spencer’s face fall. His nervous fingers slow their movements until he whispers a sad, “Right.” There’s a pause, like he’s deciding what to do next. He then nods, like he’s coming to terms with something.
“Right, I’m not saying I’m looking–” His brown eyes scan your face, “I’m not even sure I want something like that. I don’t know why it sounded like I was. I just want you to know that I—” He swallows thickly, “I like being your friend.”
“Me too! I like being your friend, too.”
“Good!”
“Great!”
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, “So we’re on the same page?”
“Same chapter and everything.”
Spencer lets out a huff of a laugh at that, nodding slowly.
The rest of the dinner seems normal; the interaction from earlier seems to be brushed under the rug, and you’re grateful it is. However, the topic kept worming its way into your train of thought. The nagging thought of ‘What if…’.
It's not a terribly horrible idea to date Spencer. If you were honest with yourself, you had thought about it before—not obsessively, just in passing. A little whisper of an idea, lovely and new. It was nice to fantasize about love, but it was just a fantasy. You had a great love, and you were grateful.
Wanting more than that was greedy.
After dinner, Spencer insisted on walking you home. He wouldn’t listen to a single one of your protests and simply convinced you with a firm, “I’ve seen what happens to people when they go off alone late at night,”
The reminder made you readily accept his company on the cold December night. Walking by his side, watching how your feet started to sync in step, your mind began to wander. What did a date even feel like? It had been so long since you’ve had a date… you weren’t even sure you would know if you were on one unless it was explicitly said.
The thought makes you chuckle, earning the interest of one Doctor Spencer Reid. “What’s on your giggling mind?”
“Nothing,” You sigh, glancing over at him. “I was just thinking about how long it's been since I’ve been on a date. I don’t even think I would know if I was on a date if I was on one. Someone would have to sit me down and explain it to me,”
Spencer’s lips quirk upwards at the idea, listening to you. The sweet look he’s giving you is not lost on you as you continue to ramble, “I mean, I’m not even sure I remember the last time I tried to look for a date.”
“Care to take a guess?”
“Uhm,” You draw out the sound as you think, your tongue wetting your lips. “Six months ago, maybe, kind of, sort of?”
Spencer’s clever mind quickly realizes that this failed dating experience happened a month before he met you, and then he notes that it also happened ten months after Alexander’s death. “And.. What do you mean by that? How does someone, kind of, sort of, maybe look for a date?”
You roll your eyes, “It wasn’t really my idea. My friends convinced me to go on some dating apps, and I tried!” You laugh lightly, “Well. I pretended to try. I just didn’t like it. It wasn’t what I expected.”
“What were you expecting?”
Your feet falter momentarily before finding their pace next to Spencer again, “Something from a Nora Ephron movie, maybe? Something like You’ve got Mail.” As you say it, you see the strange look on Spencer’s face, and it makes you grin. “It’s a romantic comedy.”
He mouths a soft ‘oh’ and feels awkward because he still doesn’t know what you mean. You’re quick to explain, “It just means I had high expectations. Alexander and I were friends for a while before we,” You trail off before you wave the sentence off with your hand. “I just didn’t like it. Felt too forced.”
Spencer understands that part, slowly taking a left with you. “Haven’t tried that yet.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it.”
He grins and nods, “What do you recommend?” His curious mind was getting the better of him. His left hand slipped out of his coat as he waited for your answer, his knuckles dangerously close to yours.
“In a world seemingly becoming increasingly dependent on technology for everything? I’d recommend shooting your shot with every pretty stranger you see.” It's a joke, but the idea of Spencer asking for the numbers of every pretty person in DC made your chest feel strangely tight— a light reminder that your crush was still going strong. And you’ve already turned him down.
“I’m not sure you’ve been paying close attention to me these past four months,” He jokes lightly.
“Oh, trust me, I have been.” The words tumble out before you can stop yourself, and you can feel your cheeks growing impossibly hot.
Spencer’s quick to tease, “You have been?”
You nod, trying to act like it's nothing but friendly, but your nervous breathing might give you away. You take a steady breath, happy to think that if he sees red on your cheeks, you can blame it on the cold weather.
Instead, he slows to a stop just steps away from your apartment complex. You stop, turning to look at him, and when you see him, all composure leaves you with one little glance. Spencer’s ears are red, his hazel eyes glued to yours, and his hands nervously fidget with his long purple scarf.
He draws in his lower lip nervously, his brow furrowing in the way that lets you know he’s meditating on something in that beautiful brain of his. His hands move as he begins to talk, “I have been too,”
With that, you feel all the air knocked out of you, and your trembling fingers hide in your pockets. You’re not sure what he wants you to say or do. It feels like a confession, making your heart pound in your chest. His sweet eyes study you, “I’m not sure what I—” He steps closer.
“Not sure what I want. All I know is that I feel something—” He makes a weird motion with his hands like he’s trying to shape his feelings with his hands. “Hopeful? I don’t know! I just,”
“I know.” You rasp out, nodding quickly. “I know.” You repeat it because you do know. You know what he’s feeling, that dangerous feeling of tentative hope, the sense that something is beginning again. The world shifting into focus and becoming colorful again.
Spencer’s gaze softens as that, and then the two of you just stare at each other for a moment. Guilt seemed to creep into your chest, invading your heart the longer you stared into those pleading brown eyes. Some part of you wanted to give it a shot, take him in your arms, and just let go. The stubborn part of you couldn’t let go of what you once knew.
What would you say to your friends— or worse, Alexander’s family? Thinking about being happy with someone else again felt like a betrayal.
Spencer could see the shift in your demeanor, the way your eyes glossed over with emotion, your back rigid, and he knew you weren’t ready. The feelings you were feeling were ones he wrestled with weeks ago after visiting Alexander’s grave. “I visited his grave without you a few times.”
Your brows knit together at that, stuttering gently as you manage a soft “Why?”
“I felt guilty about how I feel about you. I thought visiting his grave would make me back down, but it didn’t. I visited Maeve’s grave and thought about my feelings there too. She would have liked you.”
“Spencer, don’t–”
“You told me once that he would’ve wanted you to be happy with or without him. Why can’t you let yourself be happy? I know it’s uncharted territory; it is for me, too, and he knows you don’t love him any less–”
“You didn’t even know him!”
Spencer's lips draw into a tight line at that. You can’t stop yourself before saying, “You don’t understand the love I had for him. It was different from how you felt about Maeve. It was special.”
Your breathing is heavy, and you're trying to stop yourself from crying. The second you say it, you regret it. Your rigid posture slacks, and you step towards him quickly, but he steps back once you get closer.
“You don’t get to say that,” his voice is colder, his eyes cast down to his hands. Then he takes a sharp breath and looks up at you; his warm hazel gaze turns cold. “My love for her was just as special as yours was for Alexander. I can see that, even if you can’t. But at least I can see when something exceptional is right in front of me. Unlike you, I didn’t want it to slip through my fingers again.”
Your mouth feels dry as you try to respond, anger and guilt fighting an internal war inside you before Spencer turns on his heel and says, “Goodnight,”
The snow starts again as you watch him walk away, blinking flakes out of your lashes, cheeks red from the tears falling as you watch him disappear around the corner.
The conversation is still fresh in your mind at dinner with Alexander’s mom Tuesday night. She lives just outside the city in Maryland, so whenever she made her way into the city, you made it a point to meet up.
She watches the way you’re staring at your sandwich. The intense look you’re giving the meal almost makes her laugh. “Don’t be upset with the club. We can always get you another sandwich, dear.”
You raise your head slightly at that and let out a nervous laugh, “No, the sandwich is fine. I’m just thinking. I’m sorry, Shannon.”
Shannon lets out an understanding hum, waving you off with a simple flick of her wrist as you apologize. “Is it work?”
You give her an easy smile, “Ah, no. It’s… confusing and probably boring; don’t worry about it.” She gives you a little look that says, ‘Come on, really?’ and it makes your smile widen.
“When you retire, everything is confusing and boring, so lay it on me.”
“Shannon, please, I promise you don—”
“I will make you pay for this meal; do not force my hand.”
“I am paying?”
“Exactly. Now tell me what’s on your mind.”
You slump in your seat and nod in defeat. “Alright, well,” you wet your lips nervously, trying to figure out the best way to tell her. “You remember last time I mentioned that I had that friend from the group? The genius—Spencer.”
Shannon nods, motioning for you to keep going slowly, “Well, lately, he and I have become aware of some feelings for each other, and I–” You can feel your legs trembling, “He just doesn’t get it. I can’t do that to Alex or you. He just doesn’t understand—”
“Sweetheart, slow down.” She held up a hand, an amused look on her face as you rambled at the speed of light. “Start over.”
You let out a little huff, trying to calm your growing nerves. You roll your shoulders back, gaining some composure, “I have feelings for him, and I thought it was just a passing crush, but now it’s getting so messy. And he told me that he has feelings for me too, but I told him off, and we haven’t talked in four days– which would be fine if we didn’t fight, but we did— and I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“He’s really sweet and great, but I just… I keep thinking about my love for Alex and don’t want to let go of him.” Your voice gets quiet with the admission. “I’m happy loving just him, only him.” Your voice shakes lightly, forcing your gaze down, your eyes filling with tears.
You hated telling her this— hated telling her that your stupid heart found itself attached to someone other than her son. You mentally prepare yourself for something, anything, yet you still cringe when you feel her hand rest on yours.
“He’s dead–”
“I know–”
“No, listen,” Shannon says sternly, watching as you lift your gaze to meet hers. “He’s dead. Every day, I have to remind myself he’s dead. I know you do, too.” She frowns for a second before she gives you a weak smile. “But, you? You’re alive. You’ve experienced a loss no one should have to experience at your age, and yet here you are. Would he be ecstatic over you falling in love with someone else? Not quite, but I know my son. He wouldn’t want you to be alone. Or worse, unhappy.”
You blink away tears, your bottom lip trembling, “I don’t want to forget him,”
“Who said you’re going to?” Shannon jokes lightly, giving your hand a light squeeze. After a moment, she whispers, “Knowing Alex, he probably sent Spencer your way.”
You laugh at the idea, but the sound dissolves into a little sob, “He would.”
Shannon brightens momentarily, “He was always jealous of how good you were at trivia night. Maybe he wanted someone to beat you for once?”
“Spencer can!” You laugh harder than you should, but you can’t help it. You picture Alex’s face, joking about how you have too much useless knowledge in your brain.
As your laughter dies away, a wave of anxiety rolls over you. “I was awful to him last Friday.”
“Then make it up to him,”
After much deliberation, you knew you would, or at least, you would die trying. The next meeting was in two weeks, which seemed too far out. After three texts, two calls, and one voicemail, you decided to go to him.
You had been to Spencer’s apartment once before and were sure it was on this block… maybe. It was early Saturday morning, and you could only hope he would look out his window and see you pacing the sidewalk.
But an hour passed, and the cold wind forced you into a coffee shop down the block. Shivering as you waited for your coffee, you glanced at the unread texts you sent him one last time before stuffing your phone back into your pocket.
Clearly, he didn’t want to see you, much less talk to you. You chewed on your bottom lip, lost in thought until you resolved that seeing him at the next meeting would have to do if he didn’t text you back before then.
And so, two weeks and no texts back later, you sat in your usual foldable seat and waited. But he never showed. Your eyes watched the doors patiently, and you counted every last participant, thinking that the next one had to be Spencer.
But they weren’t. He was nowhere to be found. You had sat on your feelings for him for weeks, sat on with nasty comments and behavior for two weeks, and found yourself still waiting. He didn’t have to attend every meeting, but you felt even more desperate than before. Hating the feeling, you left halfway through.
It wasn’t like you could force him to talk to or forgive you. But it hurt knowing just how much you had hurt him. Were you being selfish for wanting a chance to confess to him again? Was it selfish how you looked for him in every crowd?
The unfortunate reality of your pain was that you were so scared of falling in love again that you pushed love away before it could even touch you. You found yourself driving to Alex’s grave that night. It was out of your way, but you didn’t want to go home just to wait by the phone again.
After parking in a nearby parking lot, you found yourself standing in the middle of a very dark, isolated cemetery. If Spencer were here, he would say how dangerous this was, maybe even throw in a statistic just to solidify his point.
You smile, eyes adjusting in the moonlight as you look down at your dead lover’s grave. You crouch, touching a bouquet of almost-dead flowers at the foot of his grave. “Was I bad at this with you, too?” Your fingers trace the brittle petals of a dying rose.
You can hear the crunching of gravel and slush approaching you, and a part of you freezes. As the sound gets closer, you can hear panting, your head turning cautiously to look for your rapidly approaching company.
When you see the silhouette of a man not too far down the trail, you tense. How stupid were you to be in a secluded area in the middle of the night? You curse under your breath and stay crouched, hoping it’s just a late-night jogger passing through and that he won’t see you if you stay low.
Your eyes stay on the figure, and you mentally go over possible escape plans when you see it— a messenger bag. What kind of serial killer or jogger wears a messenger bag? Your tense shoulders briefly relax for a second at the thought.
Then, a hint of moonlight illuminates your huffing stranger— messy brown hair and a crooked tie. You stand, “Spencer?” You say his name when he approaches you, the moonlight letting you get a glimpse of his soft eyes for a moment. “What are you… How’d you know I’d be here? What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t at the meeting,” He huffs, leaning over to rest his palms on his knees.
“I–” You scoff, slightly amused. “I left early. Did you show up?”
“No,” he admits, his tone becoming sharper as he catches his breath. “No, I–” he hesitates for a moment, “I saw your car on my way home, and I got worried, and I–” He roughly drags a hand through his curls, “You shouldn’t be in isolated places like this late at night.”
Your shocked expression melts, and your lips quirk into a slight smile. Spencer sees this and responds sharply, “I’m being serious!”
You hold up both hands, “I know, I—” You sigh, a slight chuckle following the sound before you say, “I knew you were going to say that. I could hear your voice when I parked across the street.”
“Maybe you should listen to it sometime,”
You nod, and then a moment of cold silence follows. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment before you feel your lips moving against your will, “You never called,”
Spencer can feel his heartbeat quicken, “Wasn’t aware I had to.”
“You didn’t have to. I just would have–” You cut yourself off, nervously licking your lips. “I wanted you to.”
Spencer stays quiet before he replies with a soft “I’m sorry,”
You find your smile returning as you shake your head, “That’s my line,”
He lets a little chuckle at that, ready to tell you it’s okay, when you quickly add, “I’m sorry for how I acted three weeks ago. I shouldn’t have been so cruel or close-minded, and I should have been honest with you about my feelings. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry for implying your love for Maeve wasn’t special. Oh, Spencer,” You let out a heartbroken sigh, “I feel terrible. I was such a bad friend, and these past few weeks, all I’ve wanted to do is make it up to you.”
You can feel the tears threatening to fill your vision, your cheeks burning in the cold as you let out a meek, “Tell me there’s something I can do to make it up to you,”
Spencer can see your pleading eyes in the moonlight, and his chest tightens at the sight. Ignoring your calls and texts wasn’t easy, but he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. You weren’t ready to move on, and neither was he— not completely, but he didn’t want to try with anyone else. He only wanted to try with you.
He swallows thickly when he says a sweet “You’ve already done it,” Then you’re beaming at him, and he’s right back where he was three weeks ago. As you dry your misting eyes, he softly confesses, “I watched You’ve Got Mail.” He pauses, smiling lightly when you give him a surprised look through your tears. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I–” He nervously moved his hands as he talked, “I watched any Romcom that I could get my hands on because I—”
You smile as he trails off, his hands twisting together in that nervous way that tells you he’s scared to say the rest of his sentence— he’s too afraid to say he missed you. “Me too,” You confess, “I missed you, too.”
He nods, a grin on his face as he looks at you. He can feel his confession rising in his throat, his lips moving awkwardly as he tries to gain the confidence to confess to you again.
But, before he can say anything, you’re speaking, “I don’t know if you still feel the same as you did three weeks ago, but I–” You swallow hard, clearing your throat softly. Your hands move with you as you speak, the cold making them feel slightly stiff. “For the longest time, I couldn’t imagine myself happy with anyone other than Alex.” You blow out a sigh, glancing back at his tombstone. “I thought one great love was enough— I only deserved one. I was happy with that, and I felt lucky for it.”
You can feel yourself trembling, and you don’t know if it’s the cold or your nerves getting the better of you; nonetheless, you keep going, “But lately, I’ve been thinking— hoping really— that you’re the expectation.” You squeeze your eyes tight at that last bit, trying to calm your breathing as you wait for his response.
“If anyone deserves more than one great love, it’s you.” Spencer’s voice sounds closer, soft.
When you open your eyes, you realize he is closer, inches from you. You gaze up at him, giving him a light smile when he whispers, “We can take it slower,”
“I like slower.”
He laughs and nods, “Me too,” he holds out a cold hand for you to take, “Let me walk you to your car?”
You stare at his palm, watching your cold fingers intertwine with his. The sensation makes the tips of your fingers buzz with anticipation. You feel his hand gives yours a slight squeeze before guiding you to the parking lot across the street.
It’s not the last time you walk side-by-side, holding hands in the middle of the cold East Coast winter, and he’s determined to make sure it’s not your last.
And whenever anyone asks how the two of you met, Spencer lets you tell the story, his hand slipping into yours as you say, “Well, it’s a bit of a long story.”
#fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#dr spencer reid#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds#spencer x you#spencer reid fanfiction#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid criminal minds#dr reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#...and fall in love whenever you can#it-was-summer
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xi. christmas!
a/n: guys part of this was supposed to be the PROLOGUE to a 12 part sfw and nsfw winter/christmas themed drabbles (mini fics?) but i got too busy 💀 literally had 4 days left to write but then the 12th went by and i was like... damn
its ok tho i might upload the finished days just as separate fics
while we're here why does nle choppa have a christmas song
warnings/tags: none rlly, just fluff, SO corny, SO sappy, no use of y/n, no description of reader's features, gn!reader, decorating w/ ekko 🎉, reader is a THIEF, pre-arcane plotline (choosing happiness)
_______________________________________________
christmas in zaun was nothing close to ideal. it was never if people celebrated, but more if they could afford it, which most of the time was a no. unless people had kids, they weren't going out of their way to make it a whole thing. not only that, but people didn't really care for it, anyway. they had other things to do. sure, maybe you'd see some extra lights around, or maybe a few lopsided wreaths hanging on a weathered door, but it was always the bare minimum.
but ever since you snuck into piltover as a kid right at the tail end of december, your world was absolutely rocked by the blinding lights and stars and bows and garlands and wreaths and the huge tree sitting smack dab in the middle of the city, illuminating the night sky.
after that, you were obsessed with the idea of christmas. you never had the funds, nor the time, nor the energy, nor enough friends or family to make anything happen all by yourself. but the dream stuck to you.
and then came ekko, and with him, a chance. a huge tree? with an abundance of people living there? it gave you the best idea.
*✲゚*。⋆
cool november air was giving way to the first hints of winter, the sharp bite of cold nipping at the cheeks of zaunites. warm colored leaves were shriveling into themselves and trembling down onto the concrete, scattering through the town. settled in uneven piles, nestled in corners, where the wind could push them no further. christmas has long began to be advertised in piltover, and your excitement was uncontrollable.
quiet as a mouse, you slipped into ekko's work room. he's sat on his stool, elbows rested on the table with his figure shadowing over his work. your fingers glide across his biceps, chin resting against his right shoulder.
"hey handsome," you chirped, working your digits over the curves of his muscles. your lips curled into a grin you were incapable of withholding. "y'got a minute?"
"for you, always." he turned, hands hoisting the weight of his upper body on his knees. his eyes softened upon looking at you. "what's up?"
you slid on his lap, feet swinging back and forth, pendulum like. "soooo," you begin, leaning back on his shoulder. "i'm sure you know what christmas is."
"yeah, why? want me to get you something?" his fingers twisted at the hem of your sweater. you shake your head—not the goal right now.
"no. well, yes, but not what i'm asking you for right now," ekko's head tilts in response. your voice dropped into a playful yet unsure murmur. "iiiiii wanted to know if you'd maaaybe be willing to decorate the base and celebrate it this year?"
his thoughts stutter, and then he laughed. "baby, you know i'd love to, but i can't. don't have the time or the money."
a pout formed on your face, lips jutting out. "we don't have to spend money, we can use what we have lying around! and i have some extra money on the side. we're not flat broke."
"doesn't solve the whole time thing."
"oookay, make time. we'll have the kids help, too! you won't even have to do much, like—seriously, think about it. we don't even need to get a tree because the firelight tree, duh. we can use big cardboard boxes to look like fake presents, we can steal lights 'n' other stuff from the pilties—"
you rambled on, every idea you've ever had since childhood resurfacing and bubbling out of you in an unstoppable torrent. each thought, each plan, all of it spilled out, an overflowing pot.
"hey, hey—" he interrupted, thumb stroking your thigh. "listen, those ideas are great. but we can't. and you have got to stop stealing from topside."
your smile faltered. "but why!? think about the kids, think about me!" ekko hesitates to speak, eyes darting around the room as your face transitions into a pleading pout. "please? pretty please? i'll do the dishes for a month?"
"fuck," your eyes filled with stars. ekko groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "fine! fine, jeez."
the squeal that exited you entered directly into his ears, lips pressing kisses into his face in rapid succession.
"thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! oh my god, it'll be great, we can have the kids make little snowflakes, we could have a little fucking wish box to get gifts for some of the kids—" you gasped loudly upon a realization, planting your hands onto his shoulders. "—you can be santa!!!"
he scoffs, brushing a loc of white hair out of his face. "don't push your luck."
you sigh in mock defeat. "fine, hiemerdinger's got that. i'll take what i can get."
"isn't he kinda short for santa?"
you shake your head. "don't height shame."
*✲゚*。⋆
ekko rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, a small groan rumbling in his throat as he reached over on the bed to find you.
empty.
his head flipped. you've left a now cool dent in the bed in your wake, blanket left in a wild mess.
he frowned, sitting up and looking around. you're nowhere to be found.
maybe you got up to use the bathroom, he thinks, standing up to search the place for you.
the second his feet hit the floor, his brows furrow.
'...glitter?'
his gaze lifts, and his eyes widen as they follow the specks of glitter scattered across the floor, which caught the faint morning light that bled through the curtains.
he followed the trail, small drops of glitter turning into discarded cardboard scraps, which turned into unfinished rolls of ribbon, which lead him to his workroom, where the door was slightly ajar.
he slowly pushed the door open, finding you hunched over a box that you were decorating to look like presents. you tilt your head up to look at him, a smile spreading ear to ear.
"w'ssup?"
he glanced at the small clock on his desk. "it's...five in the morning, why are you up so early?"
you gestured towards the pile of finished boxes in the corner. "working!" the sound of tape ripping off of the roll fills the air as you took a strip, taping the box shut. "i already collected a bunch of paper for the kids to make snowflakes, borrowed some lights 'nd garlands from topside, aaand i'm almost done making all these boxes."
a lot done considering you had had that conversation just the night before.
ekko crouched down to your level, eyes meeting yours. "but...you're gonna clean all this up, right?"
silence.
"right?" he repeated.
your eyes narrowed. "yes?"
"why is that a question?"
you scoff, pressing an empty roll of wrapping paper into his chest. "why are you asking me so many of 'em? get to work. and i need you to use your hover board to fly around and get those lights up," you nod towards a pile of lights on his desk without looking away from your box. he opened his mouth to reply, but you cut him off. "thank you!"
he rolled his eyes and stood, tossing the wrapping paper roll into the recycling bin.
at a more appropriate time in the day, you stood at the top of the firelight tree after capturing everyone's attention. public speaking wasn't exactly your thing, but ekko insisted you do it since everything was your idea.
you cleared your throat as the crowd settled into silence, all eyes on you. you shifted your weight onto your other leg.
"um—wow, okay, hi guys. so, i'm sure you've all...heard of christmas. and i know it's usually kinda lame, but truuust me, this year i'm gonna make sure it's—" you gather your fingers, kissing the tips of them and flaring your hand out. "—chef's kiss."
eyes leave you to glance at other's reactions, the silence lifted by an excited murmur.
"yeah, but i'm gonna need help. i have a bunch of paper that i need to be made into snowflakes, so that by the end of the day this place can look better than it already does."
you shifted their focus to scar, who carried a large bin of scissors, string, and paper of various colors. (earlier, scar questioned how you got all these supplies. you just smiled at him.)
after a quick tutorial, children started racing to gather around him, picking their colors and scissors. within a few minutes, the kids were gathered in groups on the floor, cutting out their best attempts at snowflakes.
pride swelled in your chest and you looked up into the bulk of the tree's leaves, ekko's form flying around in circles with lights being strung along behind him. with fists on your hips, you beam. "i'm amazing," you praise, making your way back inside.
everything came together surprisingly quick. ekko had never seen you that focused—hanging up lights, making paper bows to place at the points where lights held, and placing those big fake presents around the tree. of course, other people helped too, which made the work lighter.
you mostly left the mural alone, only placing a few extra candles and waving to the colorful portraits.
by the time night fell, the project was close to finished. it wasn't perfect, but to you, it was. the entire base was illuminated in warm, white lights, paper snowflakes dangling from the branches and twisting in the wind. the beat in your chest stuttered. it all felt...magical.
*✲゚*。⋆
over the next few weeks, you kept adding and adding to the scene. and it was all finished just in time for today, christmas eve.
by now, you'd forced ekko into so many christmas activities, some more enjoyable than the others. he thoroughly enjoyed making matching pajamas with you and drinking cocoa that was overflowing with marshmallows—being constantly tricked into mistletoe kisses, not so much. at least, he acted like he hated it. he secretly adored accidentally walking right into your trap of a hidden mistletoe and being attacked by an onslaught of messy kisses.
ekko finds you at the balcony again, glancing out into the scene below. "hm. not bad." he leans against the railing, hips bumping into yours.
"yeah, cuz it's awesome. i did that, thank you."
warm lips meet your cold cheek. "mhm. you did." he paused, tongue running over his molars. "i-um...got you something."
you perked up at his words, head whipping around to face him. "ooh, you just reminded me that i have to finish making your gift, i—"
as you're speaking, he pulls a little box from his coat pocket, black with a messy red bow.
"it's not perfect, but...y'know," his voice trails off. he pops the box open and offers it to you.
inside rested a delicate necklace, light reflecting off of the silver metal and glimmering into your eyes. the chain was thin, the links very neatly melded together, and a little circular locket hanging off the center.
you take the box and reach in, mouth agape in awe, gently pushing the locket open. inside was a tiny picture of the two of you, laying in bed, with you sound asleep on his shoulder. ekko's eyes were shut as he was in the middle of pressing a kiss to your forehead.
you smile down at the picture, warmth flooding your chest. for a long moment, you're just staring at it, ekko awaiting your reaction. your lips press together, your vision starts to blur, and a tear rolls down your face and into the velvet lining of the box. then they just kept streaming down.
ekko's face drops, immediately reaching to wipe your tears. "hey, it's okay, if you don't like it i can get you something else."
you hiccup, shaking your head. "shut up, i love it so much, this is just everything i've ever wanted for my whole life, and it's so stupid but you've literally made this the best christmas i've ever had a-and this necklace is really cute and this was so worth doing the dishes—"
you could've kept going but your joyful sobs cut you off. it was all too much, all the decorations and all the traditions you once wished for finally coming into fruition. ekko's arms wrap around you and you return the gesture, fingers twisting into his coat.
"i'd do it again in a heartbeat." he whispers, moving to peck your wet cheek. once, twice, three times.
"boo," a voice calls below you. "get a room."
*✲゚*。⋆
#arcane x reader#ekko x reader#ekko x you#arcane ekko#arcane x you#arcane x reader fluff#ekko x y/n#ekko arcane#ekko fics#ekko x reader fluff#ekko fluff#Spotify
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— love island, enhypen edition
enha as the islanders x afab reader (hyung line).
will post maknae line soon (let me know if y'all want it!!)
warnings/content. suggestive content, got WAYYY carried away with jake’s part, slowburn, reality tv au, YEARNINGGG, romantic competition, half-cheating, angst, light e2l, swearing, jealousy, insecurity, drama-heavy (duh)
lightly proofread, i did NOT sleep to write this lmao.
word count: 7.2k
inspired by the aot edition from @rynfiles, pls check them out!!
Heeseung 이희승
def a smooth ass talker, so charismatic
such a heartthrob
would be a fan favorite at first
an OG and would partner up with whoever he wants
also prob have a kiss by the end of the first episode
knows he’s hot and would honestly use that to his advantage to get to know everyone, esp in early days
genuinely so funny and would be one of the guys that gets along well with both the boys and girls
however, he would be a lil bit of a fuckboy, but he would feel so bad about it after watching the show back at the end.
being a libra, hee is naturally (and sometimes unintentionally) very flirty to the point where a girl might think she is being led on. even if he’s just trying to be nice.
cue one of the girls saying, “idk like heeseung and i just seem to have a good connection.”
10 minutes later he’s tonguing down another girl.
so him and his first pairing would just end in a pretty messy situation
fans start to not fw him
he would be in couples and stay throughout the whole show just because he’s good tv.
he’d be on the chopping block a few times but would somehow the producers would find something to save him (rob cough cough)
fans love to hate him
but wouldn’t truly fall head over heels until about week 3 and really hit it off with a girl. no one else matters to him at that point
you’d be a bombshell (duh)
but by the time casa amor comes around and he wants to close things off, the girls would be gone by that point
he’d be fuming
but then when the casa girls come, he’d be like ‘nah, i miss my girl’
but his head would be slightly turned by one of them
maybe a kiss or two, heavy petting unfortunately
but then when the girls are sent the video of what the boys have been doing…
best believe heeseung would get his ass handed to him at the recoupling
wouldn’t be able to look at you, once he sees the look in your eyes was when it hit him.
he wouldn’t bring anyone back though!!
you would put a pillow between them
fans kinda hate him at this point, like bro is public enemy #1
but he would do anything to win you back
i’m talking on HIS KNEES, yearning !!
a clip on tiktok would go viral of him for that
“if i have to show you why you’re the one for me, i’ll do it again. over and over again until you want me. i don’t care what it takes. i can’t let you go.”
fans would swoon, then hate themselves for liking him again (real asf)
kordell and serena coded as far as the casa situation
days of nice gestures until you felt you wanted him to stop
he would (try to) make you breakfast and bring it up to the beauty room; giving you a kiss on the side of your head as he left. saying “i know you like your eggs scrambled and your coffee light and sweet”
it would prob taste terrible it’s the thought that counts
the girls would giggle after he got far enough from the door, but you didn’t pay much mind
making you cheese toasties in the middle of the day when he “just so happens” to hear that you’re hungry.
after days of groveling, you cave when he enlists jay and jake to help him make your favorite food for candlelit dinner by the beach.
“i know i fucked up, i know that i hurt you badly. but please, if you give me this chance to prove that i’m not just some asshole, i will be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.”
“boyfriend?”
“boyfriend.”
would have the hideaway for the night
would def make use of the toys in there
can see y’all being in the final 4
final date is horseback riding and dinner at one of the luxury resorts in fiji
his finale speech would send twitter in a spiral
“i came in here not expecting anything from this, just a fun time. just a free vacation and beautiful women. i seriously thought that i was on my way out because i had burnt all of my bridges. but when you showed up, i just—” sighs, trying not to let himself get choked up. “I knew you were so out of my league. even now you are, i felt like a guy like me didn’t deserve a woman like you. you’re not scared to call me out on my bullshit, you make me laugh, you made me earn you. despite all of the bullshit i put you through, you extended grace and there’s nothing more i could ask for from you and that will be the last time i ever ask you to extend me that much. but that look in your eye told me everything that i needed to know. watching that clip of you cry in the girl’s arms during movie night was all that i needed to know that i will never in my life, do anything to make someone i love feel like that ever again. you’re it for me, and no matter what happens tonight, win or lose; i’m a winner because I get to walk out with you.”
“love?”
“love.”
would have the whole villa in TEARS
reformed fuckboy™ + the queen who tamed him = they don’t even need to win
runners-up!!
Jay 박종성
the most chill one there tbh
og and would pair with who he liked
but they would burn out not from drama, but they realized there was a lack of chemistry
wouldn’t stir much drama but WOULD PULL for sure
he knew what he signed up for of course but is more of slow burner
he doesn’t like to entertain someone he isn’t interested in if he knew there was someone else he might like more
if his heart isn’t in it, he’s not gonna waste your time or his own
so he’d just be honest and the girls would love him for that
grows close with a lot of them and even offers advice when needed
blunt, but transparent and the fans like him
such a breath of fresh air from all of the weird, sneaky boys
the type that you would def know if he liked you
would somehow end up making out with one of the bombshells in soul ties, they couple up
the chef™
is always the one helping out with dinner
the girls always ask him to make them something because they know he’d never say no
isn’t the life of the party but is never a buzz kill
knows how to have fun and will always be there to have a good laugh.
would fizzle out with that bombshell
“you’re cool and so gorgeous. i just don’t feel anything deeper and i’m sorry.”
bombshell would be understanding not take it personally, she’s more into heeseung anyway lmao
kinda goes on aimlessly
would end up kissing one of the og girls (you) during a challenge in week 2 and holy shit
he liked it a lot more than he’d expect
wouldn’t know how to handle it and would feel like shit
i mean it’s only week 2 but weeks here feel like months
so technically, everyone’s been dating for 2 months !!
would talk to jake and would eventually just approach you about it. better to live with no regrets
“hey, can i pull you for a chat?” he says to you as you’re lounging on one of the day beds.
“of course,” you stood up and he ruffled your hair with a smile as y’all walked to one of the swinging benches.
“so remember when we kissed earlier? in the challenge?”
“yeah? i’m sure i’d remember who i kissed.”
oh…he liked this girl for real now
your own couple wouldn’t be too solid either seeing as it was so early but not
still wanted to be respectful though !!
nonetheless you end up recoupling and that guy gets sent home
sad to see a friend of his go home but very happy that he could love on his girl openly now
so head over heels, still makes the girls food because he’s a gentleman
but he brings you full on meals!! steaks, ribs, chicken (fried, baked, grilled, doesn’t matter !!! your wish is his command) the most they were getting out of him was a cheese toastie, they’ll be lucky if they get a piece of meat on it
you would def have a ‘my man, my man’ attitude after that which he lowkey loved
the girls made jokes about how they lost their personal chef and would start hassling their men to cook for them
you left a note on your mirror for him before you dipped for casa.
“i’m not the best at goodbyes, but i didn’t want to leave without saying something. thank you for being so good to me, for being real with me, and for making me feel like i matter here. i know things aren’t always easy to say, but i’m happy with you. i hope you’re doing okay while i’m gone, and i’ll be thinking about you. can’t wait to come back to you.
p.s. the food’s not the same without you here.”
then left a kiss in his favorite lipstick of yours on the mirror next to the note
he was irritated at no goodbye but tried to maintain some sort of sanity
after all the guys all filed out of the beauty room, he kissed the mark you left on the mirror and considered that his parting kiss
grab the note to put it in his pocket and keep by his bed to look at
he also saw you left the lipstick right on the vanity so he took that too
TWITTER WOULD SPIRAL !!!
the casa girls came and they came with the heat let me tell you
but he didn’t give in no no no
though he WAS tempted
he was chatting by the firepit with one of the casa girls and she leaned in to kiss him
he ALMOST fumbled
but he was solid, the plastic component of your lipstick in his back pocket a reminder of who was gonna be waiting for him on the other side
gently shoots the girl down for giving her the wrong impression, “i’m sorry if it seemed like anything else but i miss my girl and i just don’t think kisses outside of challenges are appropriate.”
very respectful
but the girl does not take too kindly to it
he doesn’t care because he likes you
he’s not trippin because like…can she fight? lmao
makes it back to the villa in one piece !!
is running back to you
fidgeting at the firepit because didn’t want to stand there to wait for y’all to officially full on be a couple again
kissing you down when he gets to you
making everyone hold their hearts at the cuteness
closes off with you that night and are the first ones to get in the hideaway !!
everyone voted you guys to go
you wore this amazing baby blue lingerie and he almost lost it
he put you in them fuzzy pink handcuffs that night
everything is smooth sailing
in the final 4
final date is dinner on a yacht then jet skiing on the sunset
then at the finale he would also give a speech that is so cute but so him!!
“i’m not good at words but that’s not an excuse to give a subpar speech because you deserve more than that. you have been so solid and wonderful through this whole experience. i never expected after 2 weeks it’d be me and you but i’m glad we got to harvest a friendship first.” He blushed, looking away from you as you laughed and gave him his time to simmer down. “i’d fall in love with you in any universe. the same way how i’d cook you anything you’d ask me to because you simply deserve it. you deserve to be treated like royalty and you know with me, i’m gonna deliver. you don’t have to lift a finger. you don’t have to worry about anything. not money, not my loyalty, my honesty. you came here to get the man you deserve and i’m here to give you that, baby.” would lift your hand to kiss it as he asked, “will you let me be your boyfriend?”
twitter meltdown—simple as that.
the producers picked good men this season…
y’all won and split—well actually, he gave you all of the prize money !!
every. last. dime.
there’s nothing other to describe him as perfect—he was patient, didn’t hoe around, had intentions and pursued you when it mattered the most.
ofc he’s the fan favorite and y’all are talked about online for forever as one of the best couples to come out of love island
Jake 심재윤
one of the sweetest guys there like seriously
cinnamon roll™
another og
it’s physically impossible to hate him
fans are swooning because they’ve never seen this many hot guys on love island at once
especially when all of them are heartthrobs and have so much potential
jakey is so beloved by the guys because he’s just…a bro
BUT HE GIVES GREAT ADVICE and is pretty chill
also knows how to have fun and is usually the one (besides heeseung) to like initiate a game or something fun to do
the villa can get boring when y’all are just sitting around all day
as for the girls, he gets along very well
he knows he’s good-looking but he doesn’t do too much
that accent gets them
very humble
all of the girls have wanted a piece of him at one point and quite frankly none of them were his type ???
“hey…bro…” he’d say to them, as he sat down with them during chats
so the girls just stayed his friend and didn’t want to embarrass themselves further
went through a depressive period for a few weeks
coupling with girls just to stay alive
until a bombshell, you,—came in.
he legit had all of the guys come to the firepit so he could tell them you were off limits
they listened, except for one
that bastard
some drama arose as there was gonna be a recoupling that sent one of the guys home
this only further incentivized jake to pursue you harder
“hey, can i steal you for chat?” he approaches you as you sat in the kitchen talking to the other guy
he didn’t feel bad, as you said “of course,” he made sure to give the guy a sly look as he placed his arm around your waist as you followed him up to soul ties.
fans loved him even more now: “ok jakey going after what he wants!!!!” “nah ngl if a cinnamon roll looked at me like that i’d self eliminate fr lmao” “well he said she was off limits *shrug emoji*” “he can’t even be mad at jake like he hasn’t had not one connection the whole time. let him get the girl he wants !!”
he knew he couldn’t sit on his ass and wait for you to come naturally
as he got to know you, he realized you were like him
a hot geek!!
you loved math and science just like him
you were always correcting people
and somehow you loved the same shows and movies
it’s like you’re him, just the girl version!!
needless to say, he falls fast and hard
he knew how to cook pretty well, so he would make you breakfast every morning
hot chocolate, with big marshmallows and a waffle
all made from scratch of course!! he took some pointers from jay ;)
the other guy continued to pursue you, to which he encouraged you
he knew what he was there for but who was he to limit you to one connection?
“i’m here for you and i know what i want. but i’m also never gonna tell you to put me above you; if you feel you want to explore then go handle that.” he told you as you settled in between his legs, back against his chest on one of the daybeds. you had your eyes shut as you leaned your head on his shoulder as gently caressed your leg with one hand and your arm with another. relishing in the serenity of the feeling and the waves crashing against each other.
this is right when you knew you weren’t going anywhere
fans also ate this up: “i just need someone to hold me like jake holds her and i’ll be ok, i promise” “i would let him do the most unspeakable things to me, Lord forgive me” “just give me 3 minutes.”
was some part of him anxious as hell? absolutely, but he meant what he said
it was up to you, either way someone was going home
so when you got a text later that afternoon, you read it aloud to everyone (basically screaming it but it’s ok)
“it’s almost decision time! you must decide where your heart lies. tonight, you will choose who you want to couple up with, and one guy will be sent home. solve for x and see where you end up! #toobadsosad #makingupforlosttime #gotmyanglesonyou”
you flustered at the reminders of the conversations you and jake were having
but it was funny nonetheless
that night at the firepit, you had never see jake so distraught
he spaced out which he like never does but now it was time for you to make your choice
you stood up in your heels, almost shaking but maintaining composure
“i would like to couple up with this boy because he has been so amazing and consistent since my time here.” jake listened to you intently as you spoke, hopefully trying to pick up on something that could indicate that you’d pick him.
“we also get along really well and i feel that in the short time that i’ve been here, we’ve been able to get on pretty well. i know that if we have a chance to further this connection, then something great will be able to come from it.”
ok, he was getting hopeful
“we bond over so many things, and i feel like we mirror each other. people say that it’s hard to be with someone that’s just like you. however, studies show that 89% of couples share the same values and similarities, making them successful and at a lower rate of divorce.”
your fellow islanders laughed at your random, yet endearing factoid
jake just tilted his head as he stared at you lovingly, “that’s my girl,” he whispered to himself
“so the boy i’d like to couple up with is…”
fingers crossed
surprise. “jake.” you said with a bright smile on your face.
jake wanted to run to you and kiss you until his last dying breath
BUT he had some sort of couth
he dapped up the guy that he was standing by, he didn’t want to because he felt he was an asshole but still. respect.
then he walked over to you with the brightest smile in the world and hugged you so tight you almost complained but you let him have his moment. “you’re so amazing, baby. you’re mine now,” his whispered into your ear. the mic just barely picked it up.
he pulled back and gave you the gentlest kiss you’ve felt in your life, that you barely even felt
viral moment
it was hard to watch the guy pack his stuff
yes, he knows that he got you now but after coming to his senses in a way, the guy just wanted to find love the same way they all did
they ended up having a conversation before he left and they squashed the beef
later that night, you and jake showered together
made sure to lock the door, there was like 8 other bathrooms in this big ass house
the others could use another one
BUT it was nothing freaky deaky
just gentle, intimate
you detangled and washed his hair for him
granted it was very hard to keep his hands off of you
just this perfect body in front of him in this big ass shower where he had ample room to do what he wanted
but he kept it cute, only letting his hands slide south when you let him
but a little kiss didn’t hurt
his hand wrapped around your neck as pulled you to cover his lips with yours. the familiar taste of your lips sending jolts through his body. he groaned at the sensation as you followed. “should’ve done this at the firepit, right in front of that bastard. that way he would’ve known you were really mine all along.”
he left a lil hickey
nothing too crazy
y’all def did it in the bed with everybody there that night though
casa amor rolls around
y’all are doing good even before then
challenges were fun, vibes were on point!!
but just like the others, you bounce without a word. but you also left a note just like heeseung’s girl
“hi jakey !! i’m gonna be gone for a while but not to worry. distance makes the heart grow fonder. i trust you, and i hope you honor me while i’m away because i will do the same for you <3 p.s. i sprayed my perfume on our bed so if a bitch even tries to lie there she’ll be getting a piece of me. hugs and kisses xoxo !!”
he audibly laughed at your note, some tears threatening to escape him but quickly sucked it up
he missed you already, his baby
his little einstein
he tucked the note in his pocket for safe keeping
remember what i said before, the casa girls are coming in hot!!
and jake being the fun—and nice—guy he is, makes the girls feel welcome
until one of them pulls him for chat and he accepts
she came onto and him for some reason something came over him
to this day he can’t put his finger on if it was the excitement of a new face after seeing the same ones every single day for, what felt like, forever
or just lack of self control
maybe both
but he fucks her
when the guys found out they were jarred
even heeseung, the resident fuckboy™ wasn’t that wild
needless to say, jake has never felt more disgusted with himself
the support he amassed over the last few goes down the drain as this was one of the biggest twists of the season
i said hee became public enemy #1 before but no, jake was hated BAD!!!
fans were hurt themselves: “bro i feel so bad for y/n, she was everything and more and he just shit on her, fuck jake” “i really don’t believe in love anymore, this is wild” “imagine going thru ALL THAT with a girl that was made for you just to hook up with a random casa girl bc of a ‘minor slip up’ what a loser”
going back to the villa was…a journey to say the least
but when he got back you were smiling
hard
like…you couldn’t wait to see him
him, along with the boys were confused as they all thought that you’d seen what happened due to heeseung just getting heat
but no
you seemed to know nothing
and jake just played along, he didn’t bring anyone back and neither did you
“hello, my einstein,” he hugged you as he spun you around before gently placing you back on the wooden deck of the firepit.
the silence amongst the boys was deafening, there were already tensions due to heeseung’s situation, but the girls still tried to be happy for you and cheer you on. them clearly being oblivious to what really went down.
a few days passed and jake carried along as normal as he could, still consulting jay about this hole in chest called guilt that he couldn’t shake. he had to tell you.
until sunghoon’s girl got a text, she beckoned all of them to front
“islanders, it’s time for movie night! watch some exclusive clips from your time in the villa and casa amor! grab your seats and watch some dirty truths be unveiled. #nosecretshere #lightscameradrama”
everyone looked at each other with unsure looks, the boys getting glared and cold stares left and right.
you felt terrible, “i feel so bad, i know [heeseung’s girl] went through so much the last few days. i’d hate for her to have to almost relive it, you know?” you said to jake, to which he hugged you with a small ‘yeah’
everyone gathered around and it was time to pick which “movie” y’all wanted to watch
they chose ‘experiment gone wrong’
and that was when you saw it
jake tonguing down this girl, which stung, but ok this was during a challenge so nothing crazy
the next clip cut to them talking at the firepit and he was just giggling it up
then they kissed
which was more than enough to make your heart feel like it smashed into a million pieces
then the next clip was of them making out on yours and his shared bed
then he covered both of them with the comforter as the camera moved to a new angle where they threw their clothes onto the floor from beneath the sheets
then on the outside on the firepit right where they were, laid the note you left for him before you left
then it faded to black
the silence was deafening
the girl’s right by you sat in shock as you were all equally.
the first to break the silence was jungwon’s girl “so y’all knew?”
the boys were all looking down in shame
silence. crickets.
you wanted so badly to say something but your voice simply wouldn’t allow you
you just remember breaking down into jungwon’s girl’s arms as she rested her hand on your head, stroking your head to give you some consolation as the rest of the girl’s cursed them out.
jake just sat there, tears in his eyes as croaked out, “i didn’t mean to—”
“what didn’t mean to do what? she trusted you, we all did! y’all are some grimy ass people for not even letting one of us know. like you didn’t have to tell her. at least one of us and we could’ve done something!”
“jake you are such a piece of shit”
“i know,” he whimpered, leaning back into the couch
“if you’re capable of keeping some shit like that from her then you’re capable of anything.”
he knew what the girls were saying was true to some–well, a huge extent. but he wasn’t looking at them.
he was looking at you break down over something that he did out of pure tactlessness
the producers didn’t let you get up until the clips were done being shown but as soon as they were done, you sped walked right inside
knowing jake was hot on your tail
before you can ever get past even the middle of the yard space he catches up you
“y/n please,” he says, pleading. “i can explain,”
you looked at him, with nothing but pure pain and desolation, “explain what? your dick just somehow slipped inside her on accident?”
he shook his head, “baby—”
that was when you snapped, yelling at for the first time ever. “no! you lost the privilege to call me that! i’m nothing to you, do you hear me? nothing! you are a sick and twisted individual. nevermind the hooking up thing because a part of me expected it. men will be men, but for you to have days to tell me and you let me find out along with everyone else?”
“please, can we just talk about this somewhere else?” his voice cracked as he began to sob, not caring if all of your peers were watching
“you’re such a con artist, you made me believe you. made me believe that everything was fine and dandy between us and that i was like the one for you—”
“but you are, you are—” he grabbed his hair, pulling it from stress and frustration. “gosh, you are! i just fucked up—”
“i gave you my body, jake. does that not mean anything to you?”
he sobbed loudly, not even caring how he looked anymore. “yes! it means everything just please understand me!” he grabbed your shoulders to hopefully make you listen. “i fucked up. i know i’m a shitty person for doing that and i know i’m even shittier than lying to you like this and keeping you in the dark. but please trust me when i say that it was a mistake and will never happen again.”
“you’ve shown me who you are, jake. i’m taking it for what it is. you’ve made your choice and it wasn’t me.” you said, cold and distant
choking back sobs as he tries to reach for you again. “y/n, please. i’m begging you. don’t do this. i’ll do anything. i’ll make it right, just give me a chance.”
“fuck you, jake.”
jungwon’s girl ends up sleeping with you outside that night
jake cries himself to sleep, even though he could barely do that
the next day you were more angry than hurt
when he brought you breakfast, you threw it out the window right in front of face
you’re like 60% sure bits of the eggs ended up in the pool
everytime he tried to talk to you, you ignored him
if he asked to pull you for a chat while you speaking to someone, you continued talking as if he wasn’t standing there, literally begging you for a conversation
he was vapor to you and it wasn’t fun being like this but he needed to be punished
until one recoupling, he decides to self-eliminate
this rippled shock throughout the villa, even you
during his final speech, “i felt like i came here to find a connection. i did, and regardless of how it turned out, i’m so grateful for the time that i did get with that person. i know i did the most…distasteful things but i also know that forgiveness comes with time and it shouldn’t be on your terms.” he looked at you with longing eyes, “y/n, i love you,”
the L word in love island is like…unheard of almost like oh my god ??/?/?/ so your stomach was in knots
“and i will do anything to see you happy, baby, always. if that means being free from me than i’ll do it and i will let you have the experience you so rightfully deserve, so…that’s why i’d like to go home. i got what i came here for.”
there were definitely tears from everyone in the villa
jake had been everyone’s best friend so to see him go was hard
you and him exchanged longing glances and a gentle nod before he walked out and the ‘loves me not’ sign flashes
you ended up leaving the following week
you just wandered about aimlessly
bombshells came but none of them compared to jake
you were eliminated and was actually glad to go home and see your family after all these months
definitely sad because at this point, you spent so much time and gotten along well with everyone that they considered you an og at this point
but you left with your chest held high
but as soon as you got your phone back you saw you sat at a good 2M followers on instagram, which was like 1,999,900 million more than you came in here with.
you took a look at your dm’s and saw a familiar face text you:
“hey gorgeous,
i know you probably won’t see this for a while, but i couldn’t just leave things unsaid. i’ve spent so much time thinking about everything, and i know there’s no excuse for what i did. i messed up, badly. i hurt you, and i’ll never be able to fully fix that, no matter how much i wish i could. but i need you to know that i’m truly sorry. not just for what i did, but for letting you down in ways that went beyond just that moment.
i was selfish. i let my insecurities and confusion get the better of me, and in doing so, i betrayed your trust. i lied to you, and i let you believe things were okay when they weren’t. the worst part is, i knew better. i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i still did it. i don’t expect forgiveness from you, not after what i did, but i hope you can eventually find it in yourself to heal from this.
you deserve someone who values you and respects you, someone who sees you for who you truly are, not just in the moments when things are easy. i failed you in that regard. i let you down in front of everyone, and i’m sorry for that. but i want you to know that i will always think of you, and no matter what happens, you’ll always be important to me.
i don’t know if you’ll ever want to talk to me again, and honestly, i wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. i’m not asking for forgiveness, and i’m not asking for anything except that you take care of yourself, y/n. you deserve the world. and i’ll keep working on becoming someone better, even if it’s too late for us.
i hope that wherever you are, you’re finding peace and happiness. i’ll be here if you ever want to reach out, but i understand if you need time or if you don’t ever want to. just know i’m thinking of you, and i’ll always be rooting for you. i wouldn’t change a thing if it meant i got to experience the beauty that is you.
take care of yourself. you were more than everything to me. i love you einstein.
your jakey <3
ok that felt like a gut punch
you sat there, on your bed wondering your next move
then you got to typing
Sunghoon 박성훈
he’s for sure a bombshell
one of the bombshells that comes in the blind kissing challenges to confuse all of the girls
he’s had his eye on you for a while
so when he gets to kiss you, he’s more than prepared to rock your world
he takes his time with you as he runs a gentle finger down your lips to the valley of your breasts as he pulls you closer by your hips
then he pulled you in so your lips could meet his and it was up from there
everyone was so confused
“jake?” “nah that's not him”
“heeseung?” “nah he’s not as aggressive”
the boys were in complete shock, some of there were dying laughing
others bitter because he was kissing their girls lmaooo
when the girls took their blindfolds off, they were screaming in shock
you laughed something serious!!
but when you got a look at sunghoon, you were also very shook
he was…scarily beautiful, like he almost made you feel insecure lmao
but he couldn’t stop looking at you
you and the girls congregated after that to discuss details
“yo, he’s hot as fuck” “he’s gorgeous” “y’all don’t even know what to do with all that”
the fans were thrown. they were gagged.
TWITTER WAS SCREAMINGGG “#needthat”
the guys all whispered about him, impressed that he came in with such a bang
others, whose couples weren’t so steady in their couples were worried
but they saw how he kissed you
he wanted you
during the challenge where america weighs in on what they feel about them
he gets voted to be like the biggest fuckboy
which again, makes heeseung laugh because he was that was his thing™
everyone even voted him too, so to hear america’s thoughts made the girls think the world knew something they didn’t
but back to sunghoon
his feelings were a little hurt
he wasn’t sure if it was the way he looked that gave people that impression
but he never kissed any girls outside of challenges so it didn’t make much sense
sure he had his fun outside of the villa
but he knew that he was going to be on national television, so he did try to dial it back
you were very turned off by this
you admitted in the confessionals, “i’ve had my fair share of fuckboys. i even knew by coming here that i wasn’t exempt from them! so to be real, i’m not shocked. i mean look at him. i’d be hurt if he wasn’t sharing the fun with other people.”
he’s annoyed by it but doesn’t let it phase him
now onto you guys
at this point, you’re pretty solid in your original connection
sunghoon didn’t really gaf lmao
he was a bombshell, he wasn’t supposed to be peaceful
he had a talk with your connection in front of the guys
“i’m sorry but i’m here to step on toes and i really don’t care if you don’t like that. i’m not here to make friends.”
your connection nodded with a ‘challenge accepted’ type of smile
so let the games begin
he pursued you down
a solid week and a half of him and your partner fighting for you
until heeseung is bored one night and wants to play a game: truth or dare
“y/n, truth or dare”
now you knew better than to accept a dare from any of these hooligans, “truth.”
“do you think your connection is solid enough to survive me being here?” he leans forward, resting his head on his hands with a smile
wow
so you didn’t have anything to say
you literally plead the fifth
and that caused some drama and needless to say, you and your partner argued that night
“so, one guy just comes around and all of a sudden i’m not enough for you?”
“i never said that, you’re just insecure and plus it’s not that serious. this is love island. i came here for me, who are you to hinder me from my experience?”
he slept outside that night
sunghoon slept with a smile on his that night
the next morning, he asked around what you liked for breakfast and brought it to you while you were doing your makeup
you thanked him politely, not liking him for basically prophesying your couple’s misfortune
he knew what happened and was capitalizing off of it
fans easily saw this and thought the same, not entirely liking sunghoon and calling him a little bit of weirdo
“he’s hot but something about bro seems sketchy” “is he a witch or sumn??? does bro have crystals and sage in his suitcase??? wtf is going on” “i agree with the discourse but why am i kinda eating this up tho”
you were chatting with jay’s girl and then he pulls you for a chat, to which you agreed reluctantly “sure”
y’all went to the chairs by the beach. he sat on one and you sat across from him
“so? rough night?”
“do you have a problem with me?”
“no. i just want you.”
“you’re so weird, i mean i appreciate that you’re trying to be nice to me in your own sick way. but i don’t play games.”
he smiled, “i’m not playing with you, though. i just held up a mirror.”
“you’re serious?”
“think about it, i didn’t do anything. i just asked you one question and he did the rest.”
you resigned
ok he was right, i mean
your partner was bugging out because he was threatened by another man
“obviously i’ll leave you alone if you want me to but it won’t exactly help your situation.”
“you some type of mind reader or something?”
“i don’t need to read minds. i just need to pay attention. and i’ve been watching for a while. what i’m seeing isn’t really about me, it’s about what you’re not saying.”
fuck it
you stood up and walked toward to him as you straddled his hips
he smiled gently as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. and yours around his neck as you kissed officially
some of your fellow islanders were eavesdropping and and watching from behind the deck and they silently cheered
as you pulled back, “did i say enough?”
biting his lip, he nodded as he rested his hand on the back of your head. “yeah,” the other head rubbed your thighs on either side of him.
you pulled away from the kiss and the tension lingered but he kept his grip on your thigh. as if he was scared you’d pull away.
“what are you thinking, pretty girl?” his voice took on a new tone. that sarcastic, patronizing inflection long gone.
“i think you knew exactly what you were doing.” you laughed
he smiled, your laugh actually giving him butterflies “maybe,” the head that rested on your head moved to your cheek as he stroked it gently. “just want to make you feel wanted,”
your connection ended up getting eliminated at recoupling (womp womp)
since sunghoon came late, casa was only a week later
a part of him was excited to explore more options
you didn’t leave a note, which kinda stung
but there wasn’t anything to do about it so he just continued as normal
he kissed a few girls, brought one back :(
definitely pissed you off!!
lowkey he got your frustration but it’s only been a week!!
“it’s not like we’re married or anything, i’m just tryna explore my options.”
to which you understood, didn’t make the embarrassment any easier
you were so mad you didn’t bring a guy back either
fans felt validated that their suspicions were right “see??? i knew i wasn’t buggin. he’s a hoe.” “i get that it’s been a week but he could’ve been a little nicer about it like damn” “the audacity to chase her and put her other connection at risk when he could’ve just kept it cool?? he just wanted screen time fr” “this sounds crazy but not even heeseung is this bad” “he wants to be heeseung sooo baddd LMFAOO”
not hated, but not liked either
y’all fizzle out and he partners with the casa girl
you get eliminated at that recoupling
you guys hug before you leave and reconcile
no beef
no static
he’d def reach out after everything tho
Copyright: © zorange13. 2024. All rights reserved. Do not repost, copy, or distribute without permission.
#enhypen#niki x reader#enhypen fic#enhypen x reader#kpop#heeseung#jungwon#jake sim#park jay#sunghoon#enhypen fics#enhypen au#sunoo#enha#kpop x black reader#kpop x reader#kpop fic#kpop fanfic
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(secret) santa, baby - part 8 of a shigaraki x f!reader fic
Shigaraki doesn't want to participate in the office's Secret Santa exchange, but when Toga promises to make it easy on him, he gives in. But making it easy for him makes it a lot harder for you -- you're the one who got his list. Office AU, no quirks. A fic in 12 parts. Divider by @ wcnderlnds
part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii part ix
part viii (gift-wrapping)
You don’t know what the last-minute staff meeting is for, but the email looked important, so you show up outside the building’s biggest conference room on the hour, as ordered. As soon as you set foot inside, though, you know this was one you could have skipped. There are piles of gift bags and rolls of wrapping paper on every table, as well as packets of tissue paper and spools of ribbon and actual jars of confetti with scoops in them. On the whiteboard at the front of the room, someone’s written REMEDIAL GIFT-WRAPPING.
You didn’t think your gifts were wrapped that badly. Tomura hasn’t complained. Then again, Tomura doesn’t know you’re the one leaving his gifts, so he wouldn’t know who to complain to if he had a problem. In spite of showing up on time, everybody else somehow got here before you, so you hesitate just inside the doorway, looking for an empty seat. Before you can find one, something moves in your peripheral vision, and you glance over to find Twice beckoning to you. He’s sitting with Spinner, Dabi, and Tomura, and they’ve got an empty seat nearby.
A few weeks ago, you’d have found somewhere else, but you’re much more comfortable with Tomura and his friends than you were before. Seeing them outside of work at Toga’s party probably helped. Seeing them the next morning, waking up with bedhead and low-grade hangovers that could only be cured with diner food, moved them firmly from the category of scary coworkers to people you could call friends. And waking up at one end of Toga’s couch to realize that you’d spent the entire night sharing it and a blanket with Tomura moved him from Secret Santa recipient to something else.
You’re not sure what else, exactly. You’ve been keeping a close eye on him since the Secret Santa thing started, just so you could figure out good times to sneak down to the basement and leave things on his desk, but for the past few days you’ve felt different about seeing him out and about. Instead of being relieved, and using your next free second to race downstairs and plant a gift, you’ve gone to talk to him. Or you’ve stayed put wherever you were and hoped he’d come talk to you. He’s different at work than he is out of it, but now that you’ve seen him the other way, you can’t fail to see that the person who slept on the couch with you is there when he’s here, too.
Work doesn’t bring out the best in him, and work-related holiday festivities are even worse. You can hear him complaining as you make your way over. “I don’t need to learn gift-wrapping. The stuff I leave is fine.”
“No. Spinner’s gifts are fine. Yours look like you’re dropping off a sperm sample,” Dabi says. He’s organizing the pile of gift-wrapping supplies and ignoring the way Tomura swears at him. “It’s not going to kill you.”
“With everybody else here, Toga’s probably not just picking on us,” Spinner says. He spots you coming over and waves. “Hey. You got an invite, too?”
“My gift-wrapping must be worse than I thought,” you say. You drop down into the chair between Twice and Tomura. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Tomura glances quickly at you, then goes back to screwing around with a mostly-empty roll of ribbon. “You have a gift in your mailbox. I saw it when I checked mine.”
You didn’t put a gift in his mailbox today – it’s on his desk again, waiting for him whenever he gets back. You dropped it off after you saw him walk back on the way to the conference room. “I’ll look after we’re done with this. Does this happen every year?”
“No. It’s new.” Tomura scowls. “It sucks.”
“Hi everybody!” Toga’s standing on a chair at the front of the room, waving to catch the room’s attention. “Thanks for stopping by. It’s come to my attention that some of you guys don’t know how to wrap a gift to save your lives, and even though it’s the gift that counts, the way it’s presented matters, too! So for the sake of your Secret Santa recipients, we’re going to go over the basics of gift-wrapping –”
“And we’re going to practice on these,” Midoriya announces, holding up a clear plastic bin that’s full to the brim. “The gifts from the toy drive. Which we need to wrap anyway.”
“I told you we weren’t in trouble,” Spinner says to the group at large.
“No, we’re just free labor.” Tomura’s scowling worse than before. “I can’t wait to count my papercuts afterwards.”
“To help with this,” Toga continues loudly, “every table has at least one person who knows what they’re doing. Compress and Yaoyorozu will go over the basics, and then your group’s expert will help you get going.”
Where’s your table’s expert? You glance around, only to find everyone else looking at you. “We need to work quickly,” Iida announces, even louder than Toga. “It’s imperative that we get these gifts mailed this afternoon. If they’re delayed by the storm, they won’t reach their recipients in time. Do you want to be the reason why needy children go without presents this year?”
“Hey! Iida! That’s kind of harsh,” Midoriya says hastily. Dabi is snickering. “Just do your best, everybody!”
There’s a bin of toys under the table. Compress and Yaoyorozu order everybody to start with something in a box, since they’re easier to work with, but you have a bad feeling you’re the expert, and the things that are weirdly shaped are going to take longer. You take out a plastic dinosaur toy and get to work, listening with half an ear to the instructions. You don’t want to contradict anything they’re saying. It’ll slow things down, and based on the size of the toy bin, you can’t afford that.
You overhear the other supposed experts at the other table, and they seem pretty comfortable giving instructions, but you decide to keep quiet unless somebody asks you something. And somebody does. “Are girls born knowing how to gift-wrap or something?” Spinner asks, staring at the dinosaur toy you’ve successfully mummified in candy-cane wrapping paper. “How did you do that?”
“Practice, I guess?” You don’t really remember somebody teaching you. “It was probably just watching my mom.”
“Maybe you should handle all the weird-shaped shit,” Dabi says. He abandons the box he’s wrapping and starts sorting the toys in the bin. “I want to get out of here sometime this year and that’s not going to happen if you put me in charge of that.”
You nod and pick up the grotesque-looking nutcracker at the top of the pile. To your surprise, everybody else settles down to work quickly – even Tomura, who’s still scowling, and handling the wrapping paper like it might take a bite out of him. The other tables are chattering, but everybody at yours is quiet. Focused. When Midoriya swings by to pick up any wrapped gifts, he has to make two trips to collect all of them from you.
It’s not until you’re starting on the second round of presents that Tomura speaks up. “This isn’t so bad,” he says, and you almost amputate your finger in shock. “I thought it was going to be like that movie.”
“Which –” Dabi interrupts himself, then makes a weird noise. “The one where the guy’s cheating on his wife?”
“And he’s trying to get the clerk to gift-wrap that ugly necklace he bought for his mistress before his wife gets back?” That scene made you cringe. There are lots of scenes in Love Actually that make you cringe, but that one stands out. “Did he actually cheat on his wife or was he just trying to cheat?”
“He’s cheating.” Dabi measures out a huge scoop of glitter and drops it on top of the present he’s wrapping before he tapes the wrapping paper down. “My dad pulls shit exactly like that. Except he was fucking my boyfriend, not his secretary.”
You almost choke on thin air. “He – what?”
“That was ages ago,” Twice says. “They didn’t talk for like – five years. Then Dabi’s sister made them go to family therapy and now Enji makes up for it by giving Dabi money whenever he asks.”
“And when he doesn’t,” Spinner says. Dabi is making a face. “You’re better off, dude.”
“You know how Shigaraki hates Christmas? That’s how Dabi feels about Valentine’s Day,” Twice says. You probably would, too, if your dad had hooked up with your boyfriend. “If you’re still around by then, you can hang out with us. We always celebrate by maxing Enji’s credit card.”
If you’re still around by then. What does that mean? “Sounds fun,” you say, watching as Dabi adds two scoops of glitter to his next present. “Uh, what are you doing?”
“It’s there. We’re supposed to use it,” Dabi says. “The kids will get a kick out of this shit.”
“Yeah, but their parents will hate it.”
Tomura takes a scoop of glitter and pours it in the gift bag he’s been screwing around with. “It’s not about them.”
You remember who the gifts are for all at once. Kids in foster care, whose parents probably suck as a rule. They deserve to have some fun, and you’ve never met a kid who wouldn’t go crazy over a glitter bomb. When you start wrapping your next present, you add some glitter to it, too.
At some point the department heads come looking for all their employees, which is how you find out that Toga didn’t clear the meeting with anybody before she called it. Most of your table takes the opportunity to flee – Dabi first, then Twice, and Spinner after a second’s hesitation. Tomura stops halfway out of his chair when he realizes you’re not getting up. “Aren’t you leaving?”
“My supervisor hasn’t come looking for me yet,” you say. “And there’s still a lot to do.”
You know there’s work waiting for you back at your desk, but it shouldn’t take too long, and Iida’s guilt-trip about the presents definitely got to you. You empty the rest of the toy bin onto the table and grab a box with a model train printed on the front. A chair scrapes next to you as Tomura sits back down, and he lifts the train box out of your hands. “Give me that. I can’t wrap the weird ones.”
You stare at him. You can’t help it. “What are you doing?”
“My supervisor hasn’t come looking for me, either.” Tomura shrugs. “It’ll be faster if I help.”
“You hate this stuff,” you say.
“I’m not going to be the reason needy kids don’t get presents this year.” Tomura’s Iida impersonation is pretty on point, especially when he adds in Iida’s trademark hand gestures. You laugh. “And I haven’t gotten a paper cut yet. Nobody will put up with my bitching next year if I don’t get at least one.”
He says that, and it sounds like him – but somehow you don’t buy it. He’s not making eye contact, and his ears are turning sort of red, and your heart kicks up a weird, fluttery jolt. “If you want to hang out, you can just say that,” you say. “You don’t have to do – I know you hate doing this.”
“This is what you’re doing,” Tomura interrupts you. “That’s the important part.”
That one’s hard for you to parse, so hard that Tomura manages to wrap the train and start on the next gift before you can get even sort of a handle on it. And once you do, you’re not sure you want one. Tomura hates Christmas. Every Christmas thing you’ve seen him do has been done under pressure or threat, and he just got a golden opportunity to escape. Why would he give it up to hang out with you?
There’s one answer. An obvious answer. One you’d believe if it was coming from anybody but him. “I can use the help,” you admit. “Thanks for keeping me company.”
“Yeah.” Tomura reaches for the wrapping paper at the same time as you do, and your hands collide. You thought he’d flinch. You thought you’d flinch. But your hands stay still, poised against one another, for a long moment before Tomura draws away, his fingertips skimming the back of your hand as he goes. “Any time.”
<- part vii part ix ->
#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki x you#tomura shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki x you#shigaraki tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura x you#x reader#reader insert#man door hand hook car door#secret santa au
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HELLO! Do you have a summary of how you portray Leona's personality in your stories? I'm a big fan of your Leona and Yuu stories and I've read them multiple times www /gen I always feel like you just nail how he would act and say things and you inspire me to work on my own fics and get better at writing scenarios with him. Than you in advance ily🙏 🦉anon
How I Portray Leona in General and in Romance
HI ANON! So I've gotten this question a few times and someone in my discord asked me basically the same thing so I'll share with you what I wrote a few months ago about Leona and the general way I write him. (it's quite funny bc a lot of these things come up in Chapter 7 when we see his dream. I AM CURSED WITH APOLLOS'S GIFT OF PROPHECY WITH THIS MAN ISTG)
I hope this is helpful?? I would like to point out that the way I write Leona is fully based on my biases and life experiences. And that a big part of fandom is projecting what you wanna see in characters while still making them feel like the same character we know in canon, yk? Good luck with your fic writing! And thank you!! mwah mwah.💚 --
So Leona takes himself as a direct person, BUT he hides A LOT. He purposely misdirects people to get a reaction out of them. (Ex: pretending to be incompetent to anger someone) or he's playing with them. HE LOVES GAMES. Everyone is a chess piece, he has to feel in control bc that’s all he has ever had over everyone else; his wits. He’s a dickhead. He will say offensive shit to scare people off.
It’s a test to see who sticks around. He has no reservations when it comes to this. You take him as he is. And despite how some people write him he’s kinda silly? Like dad jokes. Why does he joke so much about eating people, who knows? (He says shit like Namby-pamby ffs) Why are you a 40y/o in a 20 y/o body?
I HC he purposely talks casually and gruff to distance himself from his upbringing. (I like to mix proper language and slang with him bc it feels right? Also lots of animal puns, and nicknames. HE'S CORNY AF)
In general, I don't think Leona is an entirely romantic person in canon, however in my timeline, I do HC that he, like Scar has this “want vs need problem” with connection to others. He thinks it's just praise he wants (or to be king) BUT he NEEDS TLC. What was Scar MOST jealous of at the end of the day?? Mufasa’s connections, a ✨queen✨, a family! BEING KING DID NOT MAKE SCAR HAPPY!! He needs to be needed and in Chapter 2 novella, he admits he HAS to numb himself to not care. I feel like this is something he constantly battles with. Yeah, he's lazy but it's partly bc he’s tired. He’s burnt out.
On the surface, he projects 100% nonchalance. He wants you to think everything he says is just "off the cuff", but it's not. He plans everything!!! He’s a mentor, big bro, caretaker. He is not the best at comforting words but he enjoys being a leader bc people appreciate him and look up to him. Something he never got at home.
Leona and ✨Romance✨
He fools himself into thinking he has the upper hand at first and keeps his distance keeping an eye on the object of his affection. Why would you catch his eye? Well, his greatest strength is picking up on OTHER STRENGTHS. Chessmaster. He is a mentorrrr and caretaker lowkey, he wants others to NEED him and rely on him. HE WANTS YOU TO NEED HIM.
At first, he would place himself in your path, trying to be helpful in a very tsundere type way. But he would still be causal and keep ruffling your feathers to gauge how you feel for him. He guards his heart pretty heavily. And more and more he is slowly collecting info about you he would find more ways for these meetings to happen until he realizes: "Oh shit, I’ve caught feelings." This one is the winner. He’s the king of nonchalance but also...he’s a very overly sensitive person. No doubt he’s freaking out a little, he doesn't wanna screw this up. But, he’d never show it.
I do think he wants to be challenged and given some pushback (insert manga panel about "something being harder to get and therefore is better"), He wants to WORK for it, to prove himself to you that you SHOULD choose him. He wants to impress you. It makes him feel alive. A person who keeps him on his toes.
And once this ”game” of cat and mouse starts to happen. He might start to let his guard down if you are shown you can be trusted with his VERY VERY delicate feelings, that you DO accept his flaws, treat him differently than all others, and see past his gruff demeanor. It is a test of sorts. He is testing that you can “handle” him. MORE GAMES.
He’d let you set the pace though. He won't be the first to give in. To kiss you or confess first. But he would fall first HARD. He’s not been given much one-on-one attention in his life so he would crave that time with you. Physical touch is a big one, but he would not be pushy. He'd tease your boundaries and become addicted to your time together.
But yeah, this push and pull goes on for a while, all the while he’s gauging how you react to this. Memorizing it all.
He’s def one of those texters who erases their sentence like 5 times when they are nervous bc he is cookin' up the RIGHT response to endear you. (Not in a sappy way of course more in a: “I know you miss me, mouse.” snarky sorta way.) Though he can be self-deprecating on bad days. He’ll act confident, though soften up behind closed doors.
I think once he realizes that you have picked up on his simpery and there's no going back...all bets are off. He doubles down, no longer ashamed of hiding it. (Assuming at this point the person has reciprocated these feelings too!) He wants to be yours and he’s not subtle. Someone to be by his side.
Then you get the REAL simp Leona, who lowkey mumbles the sappiest shit to you in his native language when he holds you, (bc he’s still embarrassed to be vulnerable, though this will fade over time) He’ll be your biggest supporter, and wants you around him as much as you can be.
This just keeps going until you're married. Congrats you now have a lion to take care of forever.🦁 Hope this helps!✨
#twst#leona kingscholar#leona x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#leona kingscholar x yuu#twisted wonderland#bunnwich writes📝#lion talk🦁#ask#anon
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—NOTICED (part 2)
BILLIE EILISH X F!READER
summary: One morning you wake up to a mail from Billie Eilish’s manager asking you to star in her new music video..(continuation; check out the previous parts)
prologue part one part two part three (soon)
As the door to the garderobe opened, Billie took a step back and a blonde, middle-aged woman entered the room. "Hello, so sorry I’m late. I’ll be retouching your makeup" she said. "We need to be quick because the shooting starts in 30". It was the makeup artist you two had completely forgotten about. You glanced at Billie, but her eyes were still focused on the woman speaking. Had she really been flirting with you a moment ago?
After retouching Billie, the woman led you to a separate room. The entire time she was doing your make up, you remained quiet. Billie’s makeup was already finished, so they were just waiting for you.
When she finished, you thanked her and hurried to the main room where the shoot was taking place. As you entered, you immediately exchanged glances with Billie, but she simply smirked and looked down at her shoes. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t mad at how quiet she was now, but you’d also be lying if you said it didn’t drive you crazy in the best way possible.
"Okay, listen" the manager yelled so everyone in the room could hear. "As you know, the script for the video is simple. Everyone stick to the plan, and there will be no issues". Once she finished, everyone took their places and you started to walk toward Billie. "You ready, baby?" She asked as you got close enough. You were so stressed by the whole filming process that you didn’t even notice the nickname she called you. You were in the same white space where the mv for Lunch had been filmed, and the first scene required just a simple wooden chair.
As all the cameras were set up and ready, you did a test shoot where they walked you through the first scene. Billie was supposed to sit on the chair while you stood behind her, placing your hands on her shoulders, slowly leaning in closer, letting your hands linger on her further. The thoughts of it were so overwhelming for you, but you knew what you signed for, it was the thing that happened moments earlier that made you even more nervous to do the scene. You tried to shake off the thoughts and convice yourself that the whole situation wasn’t what you thought it was and get the job done.
When the actual filming of the scene began, you performed as you were told to. After repeating the scene multiple times, finally getting through, the team gathered around to see the final playback. Billie stood up from the chair and leaned toward you. "You did really good. Are you getting nervous again?" She said with a smirk "I can feel you’re tense." You ignored her comment, as you were already weak in your knees, and you went into doing the next scene.
Each scene was getting even more intense, especially with the comments Billie made during them. After some, it was finally a time for a lunch break. The team had ordered some food for you and Billie that you were supposed to eat in her garderobe. The two of you began walking toward the room in complete silence, the tension still present in the air.
As you entered the space, Billie grabbed the packed food that was waiting on her vanity table and opened it. It was a selection of veggie burgers she specifically asked for. Handing one to you, she took a seat at the couch, manspreading casually as she opened hers. "Hope you will like it. I picked them for us from my favorite spot." She said, glancing at you. "Oh I’m sure they are delicious" you replied shyly.
You two started eating, enjoying your food as Billie spoke. "I hope the filming isn’t too overwhelming for you. That’s the last thing I’d want" she said, her tone gentle. "You really seemed nervous while we were on the set. If you need help calming down, I’m sure we can work it out."
You stared at her as she smirked, choosing not to say anything. "Okay, just keep in mind that I’m open to help anytime." She added with a wink. You remained froozen, unsure of how to react.
The moment was inturrupted by the manager who came in to inform you both that the filming will resume in 20 minutes. Until then, you had some free time.
When the manager left, Billie stood up, leaving the empty food container behind, and walked over to her vanity to check her reflection in the mirror. As she looked at herself, you decided to speak up.
"Just so you know, I’m so thankful for this whole opportunity. This feels so unreal to me. You truly are an inspiration, and I have admired your work for so long now."
Billie turned her gaze toward you, soft laugh escaping her lips "Yeah?" she softly asked. "You are a fan of mine?"
"I guess you could say that." You replied, your tone softening. "You know what? I really insist on you trying my calming technique." Billie said with a playful smirk "I’m sure it will make the whole experience even better"
"Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, I will definitely think about it." You said with a smile. "Better think quick. We only have about 18 minutes left until someone will interrupt us again." Billie said as she walked toward you.
a/n: It’s here!! Sorry for keeping you waiting, hope you like it and as always let me know what you think. Next part will be probably the one you will like the most, be ready.. 👀💋
tags: @hkkuugu @certifiedwomenlover @hopingforgoodblogs @canthelpit0 @billiesbabygirll @mybluebossanova @slutforabbyanderson
if you would like to be added to my taglist to be updated when I post a new fic, let me know!!
masterlist.
#noticedseries#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x y/n#billie x reader
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“K-I-S-S-I-N-G” - (andrei iosivas x reader)
description: ja’marr and tee tease you about your crush on andrei, employing the good old “sitting in a tree” nursery rhyme. but actually…it turned out to become a reality.
word count: 1.8k
warnings: andrei x reader, reader is apart of the social media team, tee and ja’marr are goofy bffs (joe is the somewhat reasonable one), fluff, kissing, a bit of swearing. really just a cute blurb overall! :)
“andrei and y/n sitting in a tree!”
“ja’marr. tee.” you sighed.
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
you groaned. this would be the very last time you ever told ja’marr and tee anything. at least joe wasn’t obnoxious about any secrets. plus, knowing how hardworking he is, he’d probably have forgotten by time he gets home and sleeps.
upon sensing your annoyance, joe hushed his two best friends down. “okay, guys,” he said, smacking their shoulders, “that’s enough.”
ja’marr caught his breath, looking at you curiously. “okay, but…when did this crush start?”
you shrugged. to be honest, you could never exactly recall when your little crush on andrei started. crushing on people was not exactly your thing. but ever since you became part of the social media team and got closer to the players over time, you just kind of…liked him. he made you laugh the most, and he just had the most charming smile that you’d ever seen.
“don’t know,” you answered, folding your arms.
“well…he is nearby if you want to tell him.” tee nudged your shoulder.
“cmon, man. she aint gonna do that!” ja’marr interjected, making tee laugh.
at that, you gave the both of them a deadpan stare as they burst into laughter again. you look at joe, who seems to be holding back a chuckle of his own.
“yeah, um…i don’t see you telling yoshi that you like him. no offense.” joe added, shaking his head.
the problem is…they didn’t lie. you were extremely introverted as it is; plus, you had this tendency to be very quiet and pretend that you have no crush at all. it was kind of easier that way. but the fact that these three knuckleheads were teasing you made you want to prove them wrong.
and so, you turned on your heels and walked away, leading to some cheers from ja’marr and tee as they started whistling. meanwhile, joe watched, giving you a thumbs up as you looked back.
you couldn’t believe you were doing this.
soon enough, you found andrei, letting out an anxious sigh. you easily could just walk away, and nothing could ever come of this. but here you were.
“oh, hey, y/n!” andrei grinned at you, patting your head briefly.
“hey,” you chuckled, fixing your head as you look at him. “how’s the practice going?” you asked, folding your arms a little. “working hard, or hardly working?”
andrei chuckled; curse him and his attractive laugh. though, he everything that he did was attractive. it was like he didn’t have to try. and that pissed you off a bit. all he had to do was stand there and you’d fall for him. it was pathetic on your part, kind of. but who could blame you? you saw people’s tiktok edits of him. so it wasn’t just you who had the hots for him.
“working hard or hardly working,” he said, pretending to ponder, “i mean, it’s been a relatively easy day. so, i’d say the latter.” he nodded, watching as some of the other players did some drills out in the field. the weather was nice, the wind slightly blowing your hair a bit.
you nodded along as well, also watching the players run some drills. however, you were busy thinking about what on earth to say. conveying your feelings verbally wasn’t your thing. hell, conveying your feelings period wasn’t your thing; you’d rather do anything else than put your feelings into words, especially when it comes to some…crush.
before you could speak, andrei wrapped an arm around your shoulder, looking down at you.
“so. i heard ja’marr and tee earlier,” he said, raising an eyebrow, “seems like they were…bugging you about something.”
fuck. he heard? why must this happen to you?
“it was nothing. just them being ridiculous like usual.” you shook your head in denial.
“really? because ‘andrei and y/n sitting in a tree’ doesn’t sound like nothing to me.” he teased, shaking you a little.
your face burned in embarrassment. quite frankly, you felt like dying. this was humiliating. so humiliating. but at least this saved you a little bit of explaining.
“well. i guess i have a crush on you,” you admitted, sighing a little, “but don’t think i’m telling you this because you know now. i would’ve told you eventually.”
andrei laughed. you were funny. because this whole time, he knew you liked him. it was an obvious thing to him really. you lit up like a lightbulb when it came to filming tiktok videos for the official account, and you let him make all sorts of inside jokes with you. nine times out of ten, you were stoic, all business, very polite. but that little sliver of energy and joy came out when he was around.
“you’re not slick, y/n. honestly, i kind of figured you liked me.” he squeezed your shoulder, pulling you closer.
“oh.”
“pfft, ‘oh’ is correct,” he grinned at your reaction. “if you want though, we can hang out later tonight.”
“yeah…! i’d like that.” you nodded, your voice filled with a bit of excitement.
‘that was cute,’ andrei thought. he knew you enjoyed his presence and all, but seeing you so thoroughly joyed to spend time with him was precious.
“great. i gotta get back to practice though,” he pulled away, ruffling your hair once again, “see ya later, cutie.”
as he headed off to do more drills, you stood there. dumbfounded. in a way, you owed it to ja’marr and tee. if they weren’t being as obnoxious as they were, this probably wouldn’t have happened.
_________
it was late at night, the stars twinkling brightly in the sky. the vibe was pretty casual overall, as you and andrei talked about life events and other things. it was nice, really. mostly because you were with the guy you’ve admired for a while, but that’s besides the point.
the both of you spotted a massive oak tree in a desolate area of the park. deciding to take a bit of a risk you guys decided to sit in it. finding a sturdy branch, andrei took your hand, helping you up and making sure you were comfortable next to him.
but, he didn’t let go of your hand. you didn’t mind though; in fact, it made you quite happy.
“y/n,” andrei spoke up after a moment, looking over at you, “do you know how amazing you are?”
that was a difficult question. because honestly, you didn’t know. you kind of just…existed. you did whatever you felt like doing. but to have someone like you like that and find your unapologetic personality worth liking…it made you happy.
“well…no, but you can tell me more, if you want.” you smiled, curious to see if he’d expand a bit more on his words.
“you’re just…awesome,” he began, looking at you fondly, “first of all, you’re pretty. stunning, even,” he smiled, “but on top of that, you’re just…different. i honestly thought you were just standoffish at first, but you’re probably one of the funniest people i know.”
“funny…? please…you’re the funny one. i only laugh because of you, really.” you shook your head as you nudged andrei’s side.
“then, i’ll wear that like a badge of honor.” andrei laughed, squeezing your hand tightly as you leaned against him.
you sighed, smiling as you rested your head against his shoulder, looking at the stars.
“i just think you bring out the best in me.” you stated, peeking up at him with a tender gaze. “i mean, you make me feel more expressive, more free. i don’t have to be so hardcore all the time around you.”
andrei chuckled, his hand sliding under your chin and lifting your head slightly. the feeling of your skin was soft underneath his fingers, and everything about you looked so beautiful. he was completely enamored by you.
“i’m glad i bring out the best in you, y/n,” he spoke sweetly, his own stare flitting down to your lips momentarily, “i think you bring out the best in me too.”
you let out a faint, contented laugh, leaning into his touch. but his eyes on your lips didn’t go unnoticed by you. you actually…liked it. with an odd feeling of confidence washing over you, you slowly leaned in towards andrei, also scooting in closer to his side.
deciding not to miss this opportunity, he too leaned in, his thumb sweetly caressing your cheek. your lips ever so gently brushed against his for a moment, the sensation sending a shiver through your spine.
you both eventually locked lips, arms wrapping around each other to hold the other as close as possible. it was almost as if the both of you feared the other would drift away.
everything about this moment just felt right. your arms around his shoulders and his own arms around your waist. the kiss was slow and tender, the both of you savoring this moment together; you’d occasionally pull away, sharing a bit of laughter and small pecks on the lip or cheek.
“well…i guess ja’marr and tee were right when they said me and you sitting in a tree.” andrei joked.
“pfft. k-i-s-s-i-n-g?” you added, giggle a little.
“yeah. first comes love, then comes marriage-”
“no babies in carriages, please,” you interject, shaking your head, “i can barely care for myself as is.”
the both of you shared a warm laugh, nudging each other as you joked. you looked at the stars for a moment, catching your breath with a happy smile. and andrei was just as happy as well, his own gaze on you. to him, you were the brightest star there ever was.
“so, cutie,” he started to speak, his hand caressing your waist, “what are we?”
that was a good question. what were you guys? surely not friends; friends don’t kiss in a tree.
you grinned, looking at andrei. “boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“sounds good to me,” he agreed with no hesitation as he stared at you lovingly, “me and you, boyfriend and girlfriend. i don’t think there’s anything better, really.”
and well, you had to agree. there was nothing you wanted more in the world than to be his. though you weren’t the most romantically experienced, you were excited to see where this relationship would go.
you’re interrupted by your thoughts when your stomach began to rumble.
“you’re hungry, huh?” he snickered at the grumbling sound, “how about we go get some burgers. it’s all on me.”
“hmm…do i get a milkshake too?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“whatever my favorite girl wants, she gets it.” andrei insisted, kissing your temple.
the two of you climbed down from the tree, heading to the nearby burger joint. in your mind, you knew ja’marr and tee would flip out and tease you relentlessly after this, but you didn’t care. in the end, you and andrei were in fact sitting in a tree, kissing.
and it was the best moment of your life.
this is my first blurb for someone that’s not joe lmao! but i hope you all enjoyed it! <33
#andrei iosivas#andrei iosivas x reader#bengals#cincinnati bengals#x reader#joe burrow#nfl football#nfl#nfl x reader#fluff#Spotify
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Omg I thought of this getting dressed this morning and 🤤
Stepbro!Rafe loves seeing all the pretty outfits you wear, but insists on picking out your panties. Since he’s always up before you are, he quietly slips into your room and starts looking through your top drawer before laying the pair he likes best at the foot of your bed. But some days, if he wakes up with morning wood or you just look too pretty sleeping, he’ll jerk off and cum into the crotch of them. The first time this happened, you went to get dressed and were shocked when you saw the ruined thong, but next to it was a note that said “wear them. I’ll know if you didn’t. -rafe”
i love your brain so much cause 😵💫
he’d always pick out the prettiest pairs cause he loves being the only one who knows what panties you’re wearing…plus he’ll just end up taking them off later or when you’re showering he’ll sneak back into your room to take them and sniff them while stroking his cock
but, he often wakes up with morning wood and can’t help himself from wrapping them around his cock, his eyes locked on your sleeping form. his heavy breathing fills your room as he watches you sleep, taking in the way your lips part and thinking about how good it’d feel to stuff his cock into your mouth right then and there. it’s not long before his release washes over him, small, breathy groans leaving his lips as he paints the crotch of your panties in a sticky white mess.
when you wake up, you find the thong completely ruined and covered in his cum, brows furrowing as you reach for the note on your dresser, reading “wear them, I’ll know if you didn’t — rafe”
#𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒍 ✶ ࣪˖࿐#꒰ — anon ♡︎ ꒱#stepbro!rafe#rafe prompt ;༊#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you
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doeidawn's kinkmas day nine ❆ mirror sex
KINKMAS 2024 | PREVIOUS DAY | NEXT DAY
getting ready for a friend's christmas party turns out to be difficult when gaz keeps interrupting. 1.5k
❆ pairing: gaz x fem!reader
❆ tags: MDNI/18+; cheeky kyle; fingering; praise; watching yourself/mirror sex
“Kyle, darling, do I look alright?” You call out from the bathroom in hopes that your boyfriend was nearby to hear it. After one too many internal debates about how you looked, you decided it was best to call in the man who never got tired of looking at you. Granted, he’d say you looked good no matter what, but a little confidence boost wouldn’t hurt.
Especially not when you wanted to cringe at the anxiety in your gaze staring back at you in the mirror. Huffing a sigh and running your hands over your dress did little to soothe your raging nerves. It felt like being an insecure teenager all over again—Am I overdressed? Is this too much makeup? Will this still look good with a jacket? The internal monologue was never-ending and consistently annoying. All it did was eat up time that quickly ticked away as the Christmas party grew closer.
The soft patter of footsteps comes from the side before Kyle appears in your peripheral, standing in the doorway to the bathroom. You find his lack of response…odd. Unlike him. Looking over at him, you find his eyes looking at just about every part of you that wasn’t your face.
“Kyle,” you call out again, softer this time, hoping it’ll grab his attention. When he still doesn’t make eye contact, only humming in response as his gaze lingers on your chest, you relent. “Is this…okay? Do I look alright?”
That makes him look you in the eye. He stares at you for a moment before sauntering into the room. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he settles behind you, resting his head in the junction of your neck and shoulder. He holds your gaze in the mirror, soft brown eyes boring into you.
“Are you seein’ what I’m seein’?” He gestures vaguely to the reflections.
“I think so.”
“Then you should know you look fuckin’ gorgeous,” the last half of his sentence is muffled against your neck as he dips his head to plant a kiss on your soft skin. “You could rival a damn princess lookin’ like this, sweetheart.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop yourself from smiling. “Well, I don’t know about that. But thank you.”
“Well, I do.” His kisses turn heavier, wet flicks of his tongue, as his hands skirt down to your hips. “I almost don’t wanna leave now. I want my princess all to myself.”
“Kyle—”
“I know, I’m a selfish bastard aren’t I?” His teeth brush against the curve of your jaw, nipping playfully. “But I can’t help it when you look this good.”
“Going to the party was your idea,” you remind him with a playful nudge of your elbow. “I regret asking for your input. Go on, I need to finish getting ready.”
“...What else d’you need to do?”
“My hair’s a mess.” You gesture to your head like the thought is obvious. To you, it was. Though you had a tendency to nitpick your looks in time like these.
Kyle studies your reflection for a moment, an incredulous look on his face like he can’t figure out what else you could possibly do to your hair. “That’s fine,” he shrugs. “You can do your hair.”
But he doesn’t slip away like you’d intended him to do. Instead, he keeps his hands planted firmly on you, running them up and down your sides, trailing over your curves like he hasn’t touched them countless times before. You stand and wait for him to move away, but it never happens.
“Kyle.”
“Mm?”
“Are you gonna let me finish getting ready?”
“I am letting you finish.” He says it so matter-of-factly. “Go on and do your hair. I can keep my hands down here,” he emphasizes by groping a handful of your ass, “and stay out of your way.”
You didn’t believe that for one damn minute. Staying out of your way wasn’t possible when he got his hands on you. What would start out as innocent touches and “no, baby, we don’t have to fuck, just let me feel you up,” would turn into desperate sex in the blink of an eye. You weren’t very good at keeping yourself from getting distracted, and he was perfect at grabbing your attention.
…So maybe that’s why you didn’t question it when hands on your hips turned to one dipped beneath your dress. And why kisses on your neck turned to filthy words in your ear. You had barely done anything to your hair before he got you distracted.
“Ky’...” You whined while trying to keep yourself stood straight. “I need to finish up.”
His fingers ran over your slit, spreading you open as they glided through the slick arousal clinging to your skin. Your clit was already swollen and puffy from where he’d been teasing you while you tried to focus. His fingertips circle your entrance and you nearly feel your knees buckle underneath your.
“‘M not stoppin’ you, love.” He mutters against your temple before kissing the sweat on your brow.
“Yes you are…fuck, you’re teasin’ me like a bastard…”
“Not my fault you can’t focus.”
Your retort is interrupted by a shameless moan as his fingers slide inside you, embarrassingly easy thanks to how wet you were. You have to lean over the countertop to hold yourself up as your knees go weak. How the hell he didn’t find himself distracting was beyond you; burying his fingers to the knuckle inside you didn’t exactly help you get ready any quicker.
Looking in the mirror before you, you found Kyle practically studying your face. He watched the way your lips fell open and your eyes fluttered when he pushed deep. It’s almost like he was testing what reactions he could get out of you. Curling and twisting and pressing his fingers, he wanted to see you squirm.
He settles his chin on your shoulder, smiling when you lean your head against his. “Look at you, there’s my pretty girl,” the smooth softness of his voice makes your cunt flutter around his digits.
His lips hit your cheek in a soft peck, the complete opposite of the intensity in his eyes. You felt like he wanted to devour you, lil you’d never leave this bathroom again if he could have things his way. A Christmas party was the last thing on your mind despite still being dressed up for it. The more he touched you, the insistent pressure against that sweet spot deep in your cunt, the more you wanted to stay home with him.
“Fuck, you’re annoying, you know that?” You huff between moans. There’s no real bite to it, and he knows that—the tight hug of your slick walls around his fingers proved that plenty true.
Kyle chuckles in your ear. “Ah, you love it.” You did, but you’d never admit it. Especially not when you were trying to prove a point about wasting time. “Love it when I give my princess what she needs, huh?”
His fingers curl just right, focusing in on that spot that made you jerk on every thrust. Your mouth falls open in a gasp, knuckles white as you grip the edge of the counter to keep yourself steady. If it wasn’t for his hand supporting you, you might’ve stumbled on your weak legs. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, blown-out pupils staring back at you, painted lips stuck under teeth as you bite your lip.
“Yeah, look at yourself, baby.” His encouragement is enough to convince you despite how awkward it feels at first. “Look how pretty you are when you cum for me.”
You can feel his eyes on you, see him in your peripheral, his gaze branding you like an iron as he worked you over the edge. It was strange watching your mouth drop as a sharp moan poured from your throat, seeing your body quiver as you jerked into his hand. You couldn’t keep your eyes open long enough to watch your entire orgasm hit you, too overwhelmed by the constant fullness that sent sparks through your body.
Thankfully, Kyle seemed more concerned with making your pleasure last instead of policing where your eyes were. He battered that soft, sensitive spot, groaning in your ear when you soaked his hand in your cum. He kept himself pressed close, an arm wrapped around you to support your weight in case you needed it.
An almost smothering amount of kisses covered the side of your face, trailing from your temple to the curve of your neck. It was almost like he wanted to keep you distracted with the sensation as he slid his fingers out of you. A soft pat to your thigh and he’s pulling your dress back into place like nothing happened. You stare at your reflection for a moment, noticing the slight smudges of makeup where his lips brushed over your skin and the small red marks he left spackled along your neck.
“C’mon,” he sighs with one last kiss to your cheek. “We better get goin’. Don’t wanna keep anyone waiting, yeah?” He slinks out of the bathroom before you can catch your breath and respond. So much for looking nice.
#doeidawn's kinkmas#clown writes#cod smut#cod x reader#call of duty#cod#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz smut#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gaz mw2#gaz cod#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick smut#kyle garrick cod
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