#sabsberries | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sabsberries · 1 day ago

Text

I love you, I'm sorry - h.s.

summary - Harry's ex girlfriend comes over to pick up her belongings after their breakup

w.c - 2.2k

warnings - swearing, angst, use of Y/N, lowkey didn't proofread, and lowkey rushed ending...

Harry couldn't decide which was worse: the breakup itself, or watching her walk around his house, barely digging below the surface of his belongings, and picking out anything that was hers.

"Do you want a drink? I've got tea, coffee, water.." His voice trailed off slightly as she looked at him, his train of thought slowing down and his throat tightening.

"I'm okay, thanks. Did you want to keep this?" She questioned, picking up a golden picture frame containing a photo of the first time Harry met her family. He was in the middle of the photo, a huge, dimpled smile on his face with her mum's arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, her sister on his left, and Gemma on his right, a similar smile adoring her own face.

Harry looked at it for a few seconds, his eyes squinting in acknowledgment. "Better not," he mumbled. "You know.."

"Right." She whispered, placing the picture frame into a nearby box and standing up, cursing at the way her knee loudly clicked.

Harry chuckled, curling his lips inwards slightly. "You still haven't gotten that checked out?" He laughed.

"Shut up! I'll get around to it!" She giggled, moving her leg slightly.

"Please, you could barely finish our hike when we were last in LA! I heard more whining about your leg than I heard of them actually walking!"

"That doesn't even make sense!" She laughed, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise that he would even mention a memory of them from when they were dating. "And if I recall correctly, I finished that hike faster than you did!"

Harry smiled to himself, his hands twitching to stay by his side as they laughed. "I actually have your hiking boots upstairs, if you still want them."

Her smile dropped slightly, and Harry's heart twinged. Why would he bring that up when they were having such a good time together?

"Right. Well, I'll get round to it. I'm gonna go get my stuff from the kitchen." She smiled weakly, grabbing a slightly smaller box and making her way through the house and to the kitchen.

The living room looked like it had before she had moved in, and Harry didn't like that. He didn't like the way the fireplace no longer had her trinkets on top of it, or how the coffee table was now left empty, bar from the TV remote and a candle she insisted Harry should buy.

"Shit." He whispered, his eyes darting from corner to corner, analysing the loss of her items, the loss of her.

"Harry, was the bee mug yours or mine?" He heard her call out.

"We both had one. Take either." He replied, his eyes never leaving the box on the floor, half full with photos.

"Okay, I grabbed the pink one because I think the purple one was yours. I think all that's left is the bedroom and the bathrooms." Y/N sighed, walking back into the living room and putting the box down next to the others.

Harry stayed silent, his eyes focusing and unfocusing on the boxes that surrounded him.

"Harry?"

"Oh, right. Yeah," He cleared his throat and turned around. "Let's go do that."

The bathrooms were easy. Y/N grabbed a few shower products from the three with showers, and then the remaining skincare products, which she forgot to grab the night they broke up, from the ensuite.

The bedroom, however, was not.

Throughout the four year relationship, Harry and Y/N managed to muddle up just about every single item of clothing they owned. Graphic t-shirts once owned by Harry? Now Y/N wore them too. Hoodies Y/N had accumulated over the years? Harry owned them too. So, as Harry sat on the bed feeling as useless as ever whilst watching Y/N struggle to decipher whose clothing was whose, he felt the ache in his chest come back.

"I think most of the hoodies are yours, anyway." He called out after a good fifteen minutes of silence.

"Yeah?" She mumbled, throwing him a brief look over her shoulder before pulling a few more off of the hangers.

"Yeah," He whispered. "Well, everything on the right side is yours. Maybe some on the left too. I tried to organise them before you got here so it wouldn't be as hard."

That was a lie. He had spent the two hour notice he got from her muddling up as much of their things as possible so that she would spend more time with him.

"Thanks." She smiled.

"I washed a few of them too so you don't have to worry about that, either."

Another lie. In fact, he sprayed a couple with his cologne and put them over to his side of the wardrobe so they'd smell like him for longer.

"You really didn't have to, H."

"I know."

The silence came back, but this time, Harry's chest didn't hurt as much. Sure, his heart felt as heavy as ever, and he felt dizzy from how much pain was circulating his mind and body, but it wasn't as bad as before. That was a win in his eyes.

Y/N knew Harry. She knew him better than, as cliche as it is, she knew herself. She knew he had sprayed her clothes with his cologne, and that she hadn't put her moisturiser in with Harry's, or her favourite perfume under the sink with a significant amount missing. But who was she to judge? She had just broken up with him, and maybe if things had worked out differently, she would be sat on that bed with him, gossiping about some family drama and planning out future holidays together.

"Mum's thinking of adopting a new cat." Harry smiled.

"What- another one?"

"Well, that would be what the 'new cat' means." Harry laughed, crossing his right ankle over his left.

"Oh, piss off. How come?"

"Dunno. She called me this morning and told me about it. She said she couldn't wait for you two to discuss it over lunch."

"Really?" Y/N questioned, dropping the hoodie she was folding and turning around to face Harry. "Did you not tell her?"

Harry's face fell ever so slightly, and for a split second, she felt bad for bringing it up.

"Not yet. I think I'll let the joys of a possible new cat wear off before I tell her. Gemma knows though, and she's so fucking pissed." Harry breathed a laugh, tilting his head to the side slightly as he pictured the angry look on Gemma's face as he snatched her phone off of her to avoid an angry phone call to Y/N.

"Oh, I know. She called me on the drive here telling me I was making a mistake."

"What'd you say?"

"Not a lot, really. She's your family. I'm not going to use this as leverage to get her on my side." Y/N explained, and turned back around to continue folding and packing.

Harry stayed silent for a few more seconds before opening his mouth to speak. "Do you really think she'd even be on your side, even if you had told her it?" His tone was nothing short of bitter, a harsh contrast to the playful tone he was sporting prior.

Y/N didn't speak. Part of her felt like she didn't have the right to, and the other part was telling her to finish packing and leave.

The silence this time was worse. It was heavy, and painful, and now, her fault.

"Do you uhm-" She cleared her throat, "do you want this?" She asked, pulling out one of his t-shirts which she had been sleeping in since the first night she had ever slept over at his house. The collar had been stretched out, and shrunk too many times in the wash for Harry to even comfortably fit his biceps in, but she still felt as though she should ask.

Harry looked at her, taking a mental note at the way her eyebrows were furrowed, and the way her eyes were slightly hazy, and off focus. He felt his expression drop to mirror hers as he flickered between the t-shirt and her face as he tried to think of an answer.

"Harry just keep it, I need to get going." She mumbled, zipping up the duffle bag and standing up.

"Got somewhere to be?" He scoffed. Truth is, he didn't actually know where the anger was coming from. The breakup was civil for the most part, and both him and Y/N walked away happy with what they had left behind.

Y/N continued to stay quiet. The plan she had created in her head on the drive over didn't include even a hint of an argument, so she wasn't sure she'd have an idea of what to say if one did start.

The walk down the stairs was pure torture. It felt as though Harry scoffed with every step she took, and her heart was about to explode with embarrassment over how fast the situation turned on her.

"I'm gonna put this in the car. I'll be back for the rest." She whispered, barely looking Harry in the eyes before darting out of the door.

Harry's eyes welled up with tears, and no matter how much swallowing and sniffling he did, the ache in his throat didn't seem to budge. "Okay, I- fuck." he whispered, covering his face with his hands and turning around to walk back to the kitchen, taking advantage of the dark kitchen and using it to cover his face.

"Harry?" Y/N called out.

He cleared his throat and pulled open the fridge, putting his head inside and using it to hide the way he was frantically wiping at his eyes.

"In the kitchen."

The patter of her footsteps was soothing, in a way. Harry hated that he found comfort in her being back in their, his, house again for the first time in God knows how long.

"I finished all the boxes." She whispered.

Harry turned around to face her. Her eyes were red and puffy, and the way that her lower lip was slightly quivering made him wish that their situation was different, and that he was still allowed to hug her, and tell her she was okay, and that he was there for her.

He nodded. He wasn't quite sure what to say in this situation. He had had serious relationships before, both of them had, but this was the only one that made Harry feel seen, and understood, and like he had really found the one.

The sun had set fully by now, and the only light in the room was the open fridge and the faint glow from the moon.

"Am I ever going to find out the real reason why you broke up with me? Or are you going to keep it to yourself for a year and then call me up and tell me on a random Tuesday? Because, Y/N, if we really were ‘growing apart’, don't you think I would have felt it too?" Harry spat at her, watching the way her eyebrows furrowed, and her mouth opened slightly to defend herself.

"Oh, please, Harry! Don't act like you're the victim in this!" She yelled back.

"What, and you are?"

"No! Neither of us are! Just because I'm the one who insinuated this doesn't mean the breakup itself wasn't mutual! Harry, how am I supposed to spend the rest of my life with someone when I can't even spend right now with them?"

Harry knew it was coming. Her reason for the breakup was that they were growing apart, arguing all the time, and were no longer the same people they were when they began dating all those years ago. Harry's reasoning for the breakup was, well, nothing. He didn't have a reason. If he had it his way, they'd be cuddled up in bed right now, Y/N showing him a video of someone falling over, and him searching Netflix for a movie for them to watch. But that’s the issue - you can’t force someone to be in a relationship that they so clearly don’t want to be in.

"Why couldn't you have figured this out before I planned out my whole life based on you being in it?" Harry muttered, staring at his feet as his eyes filled up with the tears he previously had tried to shun away.

The fridge began to beep before Y/N could answer, and, as painful as it was, she used that as her cue to leave.

"Okay, Harry, I really need to go. I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry." Y/N said, wrapping her arms around her lower stomach and trying to control her rapid breathing.

She hesitated before leaving, and turned her head over her shoulder to look back at him. His face was emotionless, bar from the tears dripping down his cheeks, and his eyes were unfocused, staring at the kitchen floor. The fridge was still beeping, and Y/N knew that despite it annoying him, Harry only kept it going because it was better than the silence. The silence was the real killer.

"Call me if you ever need anything, okay?" She took a deep breath. "I love you, Harry. I'm sorry."

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfic #sabsberries

99 notes · View notes