#what would i even study. i feel old and dumb and tired

[travellingseal]

why does my job make me feel like an idiot 24/7?

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ CROCOBABY: CROCODILE

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "There is only one person that Crocodile would get down on his knees and fulfill every wish without hesitation, you, his little and only son"

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : Dad! Crocodile, PLATONIC STORY! NO ROMANCE! Dad and son's relationship, the reader doesn't have a specific age but he is a small child, Cross guild spoilers, child reader loves circus, just parental cuteness and stuff

꒰ WC ꒱ : 1,2k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : This another stories of a time I only wanted to write about Crocodile, those last times I only want to write for Killer and him, but since I had more ideas for Crocodile I wrote more of him. My finished stories are ending so I'm back writing again, finishing the ask and seeing what I'm going to do next, maybe I will open my request soon but no promises, bye

You coughed, turned again in your bed and finally decided that you weren't going to be able to go back to sleep. You yawned rubbing your eyes with your small hands as you sat up in bed, you looked around the beautiful room you shared with your father. Although you were the one who spent most of your time in that room, so your father had made the necessary changes so that you wouldn't be bored in a place full of adult things.

You now had your own table to study at, your own corner with toys, even an armchair for your size. Furthermore, there were several books that could distract you, it might not be paradise for most children but you were never very demanding, you had toys and other activities and that was more than enough to entertain you for hours. Besides that, when your father was in a good mood he would let you watch the activity at the circus where you lived, it was always such a colorful and lively spectacle that you were mesmerized by everything. Your father hated the circus, but he had made sacrifices for you for your enjoyment, the truth was that more and more of you two went to watch the shows just because he wasn't able to resist the enchanted face of his little son.

Yawning, you moved through the various scarves, furs and other cloths that were always on your bed. Partly to protect you from the cold and partly because you moved so much that your father got tired of always covering you up again, so he just covered you with lots more cloths to make sure you were still covered even if you tossed and turned all night.

You had a little trouble getting out of bed, but you were soon on the floor, your fuzzy socks keeping you from feeling cold. It wasn't long before several of the circus crew saw a child walking around in green banana pajamas and dragging a huge crocodile stuffed animal with him, of course everyone knew who that child belonged to so it wasn't any problem. All the Cross Guild pirates were very kind to you and were always giving you sweets or doing little tricks, you really liked them but your father not so much, so he always made sure you had as little contact with them as possible. He always said that if you spent too much time with them you would become as dumb as Buggy, you didn't understand exactly what that meant.

Luckily the door to your father's office was just ajar, you pushed it with both hands and entered the room. It was similar to his father's old office but was a little smaller and more minimalist, probably because it wasn't very safe to have so much furniture on a ship that could face huge storms. So even now on land his father didn't have many decorations taken from the ship's office.

Crocodile didn't even look up from his papers when the door opened, it was probably Mihawk or Buggy since they had a meeting scheduled this evening, if it weren't them then it would be Mr.1 reporting to him. However, when no one said anything and the door remained open he was slightly confused, he looked up and found no one, his eyebrows were furrowed as he thought of a punishment if it was a prank by Buggy. But to his surprise, all that happened were two little hands pulling his coat trying to get his attention.

“Daddy, lap, daddy” you called for him softly, you were tired and it was obvious that you had just woken up.

"What are you doing here? It’s past your bedtime” he asked with a slightly more affectionate tone that he used specifically for you. Of course it wasn't even close to an extremely loving voice, but it was gentle and calm, an extreme compared to his harsh and aggressive voice towards others. “You should be in bed.” He blew the hair from your forehead as he let you lay against his chest, he had to hold you with his hook arm but you seemed extremely comfortable sleeping on him. It had been a little over an hour since he had put you to sleep and he definitely didn't expect to see you here.

“I can’t sleep” you yawned as you held your crocodile plush tighter and leaned on him, you were lying half sideways against his chest. This reminded the adult of when you were a little baby, he would always hold you regardless of what he needed to do, you were a very needy baby, always crying when he left you alone... maybe he missed how little and needy of his attention you were.

“Do you want me to put you to bed again?” Crocodile was ignoring that he had a meeting soon, the other two pirates could wait, after all his little sand prince would always be his priority.

“No… I'll be right back… I just want… to stay here for a little while” you yawned and finally closed your eyes and relaxed completely against your father. You were already big, but now curled up in his arms with a face so relaxed you almost looked like a baby again.

Sighing Crocodile couldn't hold back his smile, of course he was quick to hide it not wanting anyone but you to see this. He covered you with the huge coat he always wore and went back to his paperwork, he would take you to his bed soon, he would just enjoy this peaceful time with you a little more.

He only realized that a lot of time had passed when Mihawk, Buggy and Mr.1 were entering the office. The clown was shouting and complaining about something while Mihawk ignored him, Daz was holding some papers and approached his boss's desk more quickly. Obviously he was quick to notice the strange bulge hidden beneath his coat, before he could question it he saw his little hand clinging to his father's shirt, he almost smiled but that didn't suit him.

“Do you want me to take the young master to the room?” He asked as he placed the papers on the table and the mention of another person in the room made Mihawk and Buggy shift their attention to Crocodile.

“No, I'll take him after the meeting” he dismissed the support, even though Mr.1 had been his babysitter for the last few months, there were things that the pirate refused to let others do with his son. These were things that only he, the father, had the right to do.

"I see we will have a little guest today" Mihawk said with a gentler air as he sat down, it was strange but the swordsman didn't hate children. A few times he had even seen the two of you interacting while Dracule told you about some island he had been to.

“Oh, that explains his calmness” Buggy sighed a little relieved knowing that Crocodile would never be cruel or scary in front of him.

“Shut up and let’s get this over with, I have other matters to deal with” the hooked man said harshly. Everyone agreed but deep down it wasn't difficult to realize that your father had a huge soft spot for you... And well, you weren't complaining about that.

[212-apricity]

siren songs and stolen kisses, midsummers

ssask masterlist main masterlist

author's note: something important to remember before you read this chapter!!!!!

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

jj's pov

The cell wasn’t as cold as it should’ve been, but that didn’t stop the chill in my bones. Jail had a way of doing that—wrapping its cold fingers around your ribs until they felt hollow. I leaned back against the wall, metal digging into my spine, and stared at the floor like it had the answers I needed. It didn’t. The concrete was blank, unforgiving, just like my luck.

The cell smelled like old piss and rust, but I was used to it. I had been here enough times to recognise the way the air hung heavy, like it was pressing you down. My fingers flexed and uncurled in my lap, the scrape of my knuckles stinging. They were raw from last night—Topper’s face had been the perfect punching bag, even if it hadn’t fixed anything.

I blew out a breath, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees. Sheriff Peterkin’s voice echoed down the hall, her footsteps slow, measured, like she wasn’t in a hurry to deal with me. Why would she be? She probably thought she already knew the story: JJ Maybank gets in over his head again. Just another Maybank screwing up.

“JJ Maybank,” she said, her voice that same cool, steady tone. She came to a stop outside the bars, her arms crossed like she was tired of this, of me. “You want to tell me what really happened out there?”

I didn’t bother looking up right away. I let the question hang in the air, heavy and sharp, while I stayed slouched, doing my best to look bored. Finally, I leaned back, draping one arm over the bench. “I already told you,” I said with a shrug. “I sunk the boat.”

She sighed, clearly unimpressed. “Don’t play dumb with me, JJ. Pope Heyward sunk that boat, and we both know it.” She tilted her head, studying me like she was trying to piece me together. “Why are you taking the fall?”

I felt my stomach twist, but I shoved it down, kept my face blank. “What fall?” I asked, flashing her a grin I didn’t feel. “It’s my testimony, Sheriff. Take it or leave it.”

Peterkin shook her head. “You’ve always been a good liar, JJ, but this time? You’re not fooling anyone.”

I clenched my jaw. “I’m not lying.”

She let out a frustrated breath, then stepped back, hands on her hips. “You’re not a hero, you know,” she said, her tone softer now, almost like she pitied me. “This isn’t going to save anyone. It’s just going to get you in deeper.”

I forced a laugh, leaning back like I didn’t care, even though her words sank into me like stones. “Saving people isn’t really my thing.”

Peterkin stared at me for a long moment, then finally pulled out her keys. “Fine,” she said, unlocking the cell. “You’re free to go. But I’m warning you, JJ—whatever you’re trying to prove? It’s not worth it.”

The cell door creaked open, and I pushed myself to my feet, brushing past her as I stepped into the hallway.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

The sound of the heavy metal door slamming behind me echoed in the empty corridor. I didn’t expect anyone to be waiting, least of all her.

Y/n Cameron stood there, like some beacon of light in this dim, dingy police station. She was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, her face a mixture of worry and anger. Her hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders, and she wore one of those Kook dresses—simple, elegant, something expensive that she made look casual.

She shouldn’t be here.

She never belonged in my world. But damn if she didn’t fit perfectly in it, somehow.

“Hey,” I said, forcing a grin as I strolled toward her like I wasn’t just sitting in a jail cell. “Come here often?”

Her eyes softened when she saw me, but her mouth pressed into a tight line. “JJ, what the hell were you thinking?” she asked, her voice sharp but thick with worry.

“Me?” I raised an eyebrow, playing it off like it was nothing. “I was just enjoying the hospitality.”

She wasn’t amused. “God JJ you’re so fucking stupid,” she muttered, stepping forward until she was right in front of me. Her hand lifted, trembling slightly, and she brushed her thumb over the bruise forming on my cheek.

I flinched—barely—but she noticed. She always noticed.

“JJ…” her voice softened, breaking just a little. “What happened? What did you do?”

I swallowed hard, my throat tight. I wanted to tell her everything. Not just about the stupid boat but about me. I wanted to spill all the messy, broken parts of me at her feet and let her fix them. But that wasn’t fair. She didn’t deserve that weight.

“It’s nothing,” I said, reaching up to take her hand in mine, pressing it against my chest. “I couldn’t let Pope lose his scolarship. Im scared he’d go into cardiac arrest if he did.”

Instead of laughing like usual, her lips parting like she wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come. Instead, she let out a shaky breath and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I held her close, the warmth of her body grounding me.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” she whispered.

I kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes. “Yeah,” I lied. “I know.”

But the moment shattered when I felt it—the familiar grip of my father’s hand clamping down on my shoulder.

“Time to go, JJ,” Luke Maybank growled, his voice low and dangerous.

Y/n stiffened against me, her grip tightening. I turned, keeping my body between her and my father. “Go home,” I whispered to her, forcing a smile I didn’t feel. “Please.”

Her eyes searched mine, desperate and scared. “JJ—”

“I’ll be fine,” I lied again. “Just go.”

Luke’s fingers dug into my shoulder, yanking me back. I didn’t fight it. I couldn’t. I gave her one last look, and then he dragged me out, his grip like a vice.

And I let him.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

y/n's pov

The sun was beginning to dip, casting that perfect golden hour glow across the Cameron estate. Everything outside looked flawless: the lawn perfectly trimmed, the white-and-gold decorations lining the patio like something out of a Southern Living magazine. But inside, it was chaos. Controlled, sure—typical Cameron perfectionist chaos—but chaos nonetheless.

Sarah was in the kitchen, trying to fix her pinned up hair, her face scrunched up in concentration. I stood by the window, watching the sun sink lower, my phone clutched in my hand, screen blank. No texts from JJ. No missed calls. Nothing.

“Y/n, can you help me with this?” Sarah’s voice broke through my thoughts. She held up a handful of hairpins, looking helpless. “I swear, if this falls out during Midsummers, I’m going to lose it.”

I crossed the room, shoving my phone into the pocket of my dress. “You’re being dramatic,” I said, grabbing the pins and starting to twist her hair into place.

“Dramatic?” she huffed, raising an eyebrow. “It’s Midsummers. I have to look perfect.”

I smirked. “Why? Planning to impress someone?”

She rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Please. Everyone on this island is boring. Except maybe John B, but that’s a whole other mess.” She paused, glancing at me in the mirror. “Speaking of messes… JJ?”

I sighed, focusing on twisting her hair just right. “I don’t know. He’s not answering my texts. I’m worried.”

She tilted her head slightly, letting me work. “He’ll be fine,” she said softly. “He always is. But you need to talk to him.”

“I tried,” I muttered. “Luke showed up before I could get anything out of him.”

Her face darkened at the mention of JJ’s dad. “That man’s a nightmare. JJ shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“I know,” I said quietly, finishing the last pin. “Done.”

Sarah stood up, admiring the final result in the mirror. “You’re the best,” she said with a grin. She grabbed a necklace from her dresser and slipped it on. “Now, how do I break up with Topper tonight without causing a scene?”

I laughed, the heaviness in my chest easing slightly. “Wait until after Midsummers. You know how he gets.”

Sarah made a face, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “You’re right. I’ll be nice. But tomorrow, it’s over.”

Just as she said that, Rafe strode in, already dressed in his pale blue suit, a smug look plastered on his face. “What are you two plotting?” he asked, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.

“Girl stuff,” Sarah said sweetly, batting her lashes. “Nothing for your tiny brain to worry about.”

He rolled his eyes, taking a swig of water. “Whatever. Try not to embarrass the family tonight.”

I couldn’t resist. “I think that’s your job, Rafe.”

His eyes narrowed, but Sarah burst out laughing, and he just shook his head, trying to failing to stifle a smile as he left the room.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

The country club was packed, Kooks everywhere in their finest, gold glinting under the soft lights, champagne flutes raised in perfectly manicured hands. It was beautiful, I guess, but it felt fake and forced, all of it. I wandered through the crowd, half-smiling at familiar faces, but my mind was elsewhere.

JJ still hadn’t answered any of my texts. I tried not to let it show, but my heart raced every time I checked my phone. What if he wasn’t okay? What if Luke…

Stop.

I thought to myself, shaking the thoughts away. I couldn’t do this here, not now.

Kiara appeared at my side, looking as uncomfortable as I felt in her sleek dress. “This sucks,” she muttered, sipping from her drink. “We should be at the Chateau right now.”

I nodded, grateful for her presence. “Yeah. I’d rather be anywhere else.”

She shot me a sideways glance. “He still hasn’t called?”

“Nope,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant, even though it felt like my stomach was tying itself into knots.

“Typical JJ,” she said, rolling her eyes but smiling. “He’ll show up. He always does.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

As Kie went to get another drink from the bar, I spotted Pope waving at me, smiling brightly, from his dads cart.

I was about to raise my hand in greeting when I noticed someone standing beside me, clearing their throat. Someone who, despite the music and lights, made my stomach drop.

Gray Pierce.

Rafe’s childhood best friend.

I hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever. Grayson “Gray” Pierce was the type of guy who always made his presence known, even when he was just standing there, looking around with that calculated smirk on his face. He was dressed in designer clothes, standing tall and confident, like he owned the world. His dirty blonde hair was styled perfectly, and his sharp jawline looked like it could cut glass. He was still just as dangerous as I remembered—charming, but with an edge that could cut through steel.

I turned to him, my lips pressing into a tight line. "Gray," I said, my voice neutral. I wasn’t excited to see him—not in the slightest—but I wasn’t going to show him how much he made me uncomfortable.

He gave me that smirk—the one I used to fall for. "Y/n. Heard you got a new boyfriend now," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as his eyes flicked over the crowd in front of us. "Does he know how to treat a lady, or is he just a wild dog like the rest of them?" His words felt like a slap in the face.

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you know how to treat a lady?" I shot back, crossing my arms over my chest.

Gray’s eyes hardened, "I heard he’s a Pogue*,*" he said, his tone mocking. "We don’t mix with their side, Y/n. Taints our blood."

I froze at his words, anger rising in my chest like a slow-burning fire. His words were heavy, loaded with disdain, and I hated that he still thought he could talk to me like that. He hadn’t changed at all.

I was about to respond, my mouth opening to say something sharp, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw JJ, his eyes bright but quickly flicking between Gray and me, sensing the tension in the air.

“Y/n, hey!” JJ greeted, practically bouncing with excitement, only to pause when his gaze flickered to Gray, his mood shifting ever so slightly.

Gray’s gaze lingered on JJ for a moment, his smile fading just slightly, before he turned to look at me. “He’s your boyfriend now?” Gray asked, his voice soft with the kind of malice that sent a chill down my spine.

I gave him a look, feeling my patience wearing thin as I grabbed JJ’s hand quickly, surprised to see him but trying to cover it up so Gray wouldn’t notice. “What’s it to you Gray? Fuck off, don’t you have some other girl to cheat on?” I said firmly, my words laced with finality. I wasn’t going to let him make this about me, about him, or about whatever weird power play he was trying to put on.

JJ’s eyes narrowed at Gray but he didn’t seem to care. He just smirked, as though he found my discomfort amusing.

“Alright. If you’re gonna be like that, I’ll just leave you two to it,” Gray said, his voice dripping with venom. He gave me one last look, his gaze lingering a moment too long. “Just remember, Y/n. Our kind doesn’t mix with scum. Don’t let him pull you down.”

Before I could respond, Gray turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd finding Rafe again, leaving me standing there with JJ. He had a confused look on his face, his brow furrowed as he looked at me.

“What was that about?” JJ asked, his voice tight, I turned around again and there he was.

JJ, grinning like he hadn’t just been in a fight with the world, looking a little worse for wear but still so, so JJ.

I let out a long breath, my hands clenched at my sides. “Nothing,” I said quickly, shaking my head.

JJ still looked unconvinced, but before he could press further, I shoved him back by his shoulder.

“Excuse me?” he exclaimed, “What the fuck was that for I didn’t do anything”

“Exactly JJ, you didn’t do anything,” I all but shouted back as he looked back at me, confused, “Seriously J would it have killed you to just text me back or something? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”

JJ looked up at me sheepishly, “I’m sorry baby my phone died,” he pulled out his dead phone from his back pocket and put it in my hands to check, “I should’ve charged it or used John B’s but today’s just been such a shitshow I wasn’t thinking properly. I’m sorry princess” he explained with a sad pout, obviously abusing his looks to get his way (yet again).

Unfortunately, it worked.

I practically launched myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck. “Just let me know if you’re okay next time, alright?”

He staggered back, laughing. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and for a second, everything felt right. “Of course princess, I’m sorry. Alright, now that my part’s done, if that guy even looks at you again, I’ll—”

I stopped him with a hand on his chest. “JJ, please,” I said softly, not wanting the memory of Gray to spoil this. “It’s fine. He’s just bitter. Let’s just... have fun tonight, yeah?”

He seemed to relax at that, his expression softening. “Yeah, alright,” he said, his smile returning, though there was still a little wariness in his eyes as he glanced around, probably still keeping an eye out for Gray.

My eyes narrowed, closer to him now I noticed the fresh bruises on his face and the split lip. My heart sank. “JJ…what happened to you?” I asked softly, brushing my fingers over the bruise.

He caught my hand, squeezing it. “It’s nothing,” he said, smiling like it didn’t hurt. “Just my dad you know.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, the familiar voice of Rafe cut through the noise. “JJ Maybank,” he sneered, his group of Kooks fanning out behind him. “Didn’t think you’d have the balls to show up here.”

JJ tensed beside me, his grin tightening. “Well, you know me,” he said, stepping in front of me slightly. “Never could resist a good party.”

Rafe took a step closer, eyes gleaming with malice. “Let’s go, boys.”

“Gotta go baby,” JJ whispered, pressing a quick kiss to my lips.

And then he was gone, weaving through the crowd again, Rafe and his “friends” in pursuit.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

The atmosphere at Midsummers was overwhelming, suffocating, as I clutched my glass of champagne and half-heartedly tried to enjoy the party. I was laughing along with the Kooks’ endless chatter, but my mind was elsewhere. I could feel the unease in the pit of my stomach—the same uneasy feeling I’d been carrying ever since I left the police station. The sight of JJ’s bruised face was still burned into my mind, and the way he had brushed it off, like it was nothing. But I knew better.

“Y/n, you need to relax,” Kiara said, her voice cutting through my spiraling thoughts. She’d appeared out of nowhere, like she always did when she sensed I needed someone to snap me out of it. She was holding a glass of sparkling water in her hand, but I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was more concerned about me than the party.

“Where are they?” I asked looking around quickly “I swear if Rafe’s pulled some shit like he did the other day…”

Kiara cut me off, her expression hardening as she stepped closer to me. “You know JJ, right? He’s not the kind of guy who just lets things slide. Whatever Rafe’s got planned, he’ll figure it out. He’s not the kind of guy to let himself stay down for long.”

I nodded, but it didn’t stop the gnawing feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t shake it. I kept imagining JJ, alone, somewhere in the middle of all of this. And I couldn’t stand the idea of not being there for him.

Just then, the air shifted. There was an abrupt shift in the crowd, a ripple of murmurs, and I turned to see Rafe and his crew walking by, their eyes scanning the room like they owned it. And then, my gaze landed on him.

A familiar figure stepped into the lobby from the back hall.

JJ.

But this time, he wasn’t alone.

A guard flanked him on either side, his hands gripping JJ’s arms tightly. His expression was resigned, but his eyes—his eyes told a different story. He was hurt, no doubt, but there was something in his posture that suggested he wasn’t going down without a fight.

I started to rush toward him, but Kiara grabbed my arm again. “Y/n, wait. Let’s think this through.”

I barely heard her. I was already moving toward the exit where JJ was being led, my legs carrying me before my mind could catch up. I had to get to him. I had to know he was okay.

“JJ!” I shouted, and his eyes flicked toward me.

He looked like he’d been through hell, his shirt slightly torn, his bruises more obvious now. But there was that same crooked grin on his face as he lifted his chin, as though he were proud of something—anything.

“Princess,” he said, his voice low, like it was some private joke only he and I understood. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” his voice rose, “Leave it to the men and women in uniform!”

I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at him, my heart slamming in my chest. “JJ, what the hell happened?”

He winked at me, the guard’s hold tightening just slightly as they moved past. “Don’t worry. This is nothing. I’ll be alright.” He flashed that grin of his again, this time more genuine, before he shouted again, “Rixons Cove, Y/n.”

I could barely process the words when I heard Kiara scream beside me. “Hey! Let him go! He’s our guest! I’m a part of this club!”

I turned to see Kiara running after them, shouting at the guards, but their grip on JJ remained unyielding. The scene was chaotic. It was like everything was falling apart, the tension and anger rising with every step the guards took, dragging him away from us.

Then, through the turmoil, JJ shouted, his voice clear and loud, cutting through the noise.

“Mandatory power at Rixons! Pope, you too! Rixons Cove, let’s roll. Alright, Kie, Y/n, come on, workers of the world unite, throw off the chains!”

Kiara and I didn’t need any more encouragement. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest as we ran, the sound of the guards’ footsteps growing louder behind us.

And then, I felt it—the solid warmth of JJ’s arms around me as I leapt into them. The guards barely even slowed down as he lifted me up and held me close, a rush of laughter escaping him.

“Come on princess,” he said, a grin in his voice. “Running away with a pogue now? What a scandal.”

I felt his lips brush my cheek briefly, his breath warm against my skin. “Shut up J”, I laughed.

Before he could reply, we were running again, Kie and Pope right next to us. My heart was racing, but I felt something that hadn’t been there before. Something more—more than fear, more than confusion. I felt alive.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

We gathered around the firepit, the flames crackling and lighting our faces in the darkness. The scent of saltwater mixed with the damp earth as we sat together, huddled in the warmth of the fire. JJ’s arms were around me (as well as his jacket) as I sat in between his legs, him playing with my hair and me with his hands. Everyone was quiet for a moment, just breathing, just existing in the stillness.

“So,” John B began, breaking the silence. He sat down on the log beside me, his face lit by the firelight. “I’ve got something. Something big.” He looked at Sarah, who was sitting next to him, her arms crossed as she looked at him curiously.

“What do you mean?” Pope asked, leaning forward.

“I’ve been digging, and I found something,” John B said, his eyes gleaming in the firelight. He looked around at all of us before continuing. “There’s a way to get to the treasure. A real way. It’s a map, but it’s hidden.” He paused, letting the weight of his words settle. “We just need Sarah to help us find it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“What?!” Kiara’s voice shot out like an arrow, sharp and disbelieving. “No offence, Y/n, but I’m not thrilled about Sarah being part of this. She’s always got some excuse, some reason why we can’t trust her. Why do we need her now?”

I frowned at Kiara’s words, feeling the tension rise. I knew that Kiara had issues with Sarah—she’d never really trusted her, not since the whole fiasco with the party years ago. But that didn’t mean Sarah didn’t have something valuable to offer.

“Come on, Kie,” John B said, trying to convince her. “She’s trying to help. And I don’t hear anyone else coming up with any ideas to get the map.”

Kiara scowled but didn’t say anything more. She crossed her arms tightly, though, clearly unwilling to let her guard down.

“So, what’s the plan then?” Pope asked, breaking the tension. “Do we go after the map now?”

“No,” John B said, shaking his head. “First, I need to meet with Sarah alone. We can’t let anyone else in on this part of the plan just yet.” He turned to me, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t worry. I’m not planning anything shady.”

JJ shot John B a look, and then he smirked. “Right, because there’s nothing going on between you two,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I laughed, Pope joined in, a chuckle escaping him as he shot a look at John B. “John B, you’re literally a worse liar than me.”

Kiara rolled her eyes but grinned. “You promise me there’s nothing going on between you and Sarah, John B. You’ll ruin the whole plan if you mess it up.”

John B held up his hands defensively, his face reddening. “I swear, Kie, nothing’s going on. We’re just talking.”

JJ leaned back on his elbows, grinning at the absurdity of it all. “Sure, sure. Just talking. The most innocent thing in the world.”

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

Kie, Pope, JJ and I were still joking, letting the laughter fill the gaps in the air in the Twinkie, when we heard it.

A scream.

A long, desperate cry for help.

Without thinking, we all bolted upright, adrenaline flooding our systems as we raced toward the sound. Kiara, Pope, and I led the charge, pushing past trees and underbrush, until we broke out onto the edge of a small clearing. There, in the middle of the chaos, was Sarah—frantic, her face pale with terror as she knelt beside John B, who was lying on the ground, unmoving.

“John B!” Sarah screamed, her voice breaking. “John B, wake up!”

I rushed forward, reaching her just as she tried to shake him awake. But something wasn’t right. There was a cut on his forehead, and blood was seeping into the dirt beneath him.

“What happened?” I gasped, my hand instinctively going to John B’s shoulder, trying to lift him.

“It’s Topper,” Sarah said, her voice trembling. “He pushed him off the building. I saw it.”

My stomach dropped. “What?!”

Kiara stepped forward, her hands shaking as she knelt beside John B. “We need to get him out of here,” she said urgently. “He’s not breathing right.”

I couldn’t think, couldn’t process what had just happened. It was like the world tilted beneath me, the ground slipping away.

“We need to go,” I said, my voice rising in panic. “We need help. Right now.”

And just like that, the group of us—runners, survivors, and dreamers—were faced with the reality of our situation. We weren’t just fighting for a treasure anymore. We were fighting for our lives.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*

part five done!!

idk if its just me but i get SO TIRED in the winter like im literally falling asleep in all my classes (which is normal) BUT AT LUNCH???? burn it.

taglist: @harryssideboobz @onelonelybitch

[vividraft]

sleep late, sleep well

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gn!reader x alhaitham

⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops)

old post masterlist tba !

It was late, yet you were unsure of how late exactly. not like it mattered to you anyways. All that mattered was that test tomorrow.

Being a student has often left you feeling dumb. especially around most of your friends who immediately understood any topic. your grades were average at best, and you could not let them drop by any chance. sure you were good at a lot of things, that a lot of people were not good at, but why could you just not get better grades? no matter how hard you tried, or how much you believed you finally understood the current topic on hand, you were never pleasantly surprised.

That's why you were grateful for your boyfriend. even if sometimes, people made you feel stupid, alhaitham has never made you feel that way. quite the opposite - whenever you needed it, he was more than happy to help you and explain anything you needed to know.

He was just in the room right next to yours, but you couldn't ask him for help. It was the middle of the night and he was sleeping.

just a little more 

you thought.

just another hour or two and then-

"hey why aren't you in bed", alhaitham was standing behind you, hair messy and a sleepy yet concerned expression resting on his face. seeing alhaitham worried or concerned, was pretty new to you. sure sometimes he was worried about things, but never did he really let it show.

"I have a test tomorrow", you replied, as if that explained why you were disregarding how tired your brain and your body were. 

you were neglecting your health, and alhaitham seemed to be more aware of it than you were. 

"so? you need to sleep [name]. a test isn't nearly as important as your health", alhaitham looked down at what you were writing. papers were spread all over your desk, messy notes, graphs, pictures and at least two books. or maybe three. you couldn't really tell under the mess.

but alhaitham really grew concerned when he saw your face. your eyes were sleepy as never before, and as equally teary. why you were crying, you didn't even know yourself. maybe it was because you were tired, or maybe because you didn't really understand the topic.

without another word alhaitham started cleaning up your desk, collecting the papers and putting them into a neat pile on the side of your desk.

"hey- wait im not done-", alhaitham did in fact not stop. He continued closing the books and collecting all the pencils you had used.

as much as you wanted to protest, as much as you wanted to tell him that you needed to study more, you knew he wouldn't hear it. and surely you were also too tired to actually do anything against it.

"alhaitham i can't fail this test, i need to get at least a C. if i don't-"

"if you don't go to sleep you're not going to get even a C, because your brain won't have enough rest, and you're not going to get a good grade no matter how much you study", alhaitham didn't want to hear what you were going to say. maybe if he wouldn't have cut you off, he would have never heard the end of it.

"Come on, go to sleep", reluctantly, you got up from your chair, and alhaitham took you by the hand, to lead you to your bedroom.

when he turned to look at you, you were rubbing your sleepy eyes. 

even when you were tired, you were just so cute, alhaithams heart skipped a beat. and he was so glad he was there - he didn't even dare to think how many times you had put yourself through this while he wasn't there.

you laid down on your soft bed, and under the cold sheets, but alhaithams warm body made up for the weird feeling of the cold against your skin. his arms wrapped around your waist, and he somewhat buried his face in your shoulder.

A few minutes had passed, in comfortable silence and just listening to each other's soft breaths and heartbeats.

"[name], please don't overwork yourself like that. it's not good for you", you were already asleep when he said that.

[spillthebea]

may prompt: secret relationship

@wolfstarmicrofic – words: 951

warning: suicidal thoughts/sacrifice yourself

... this is sad, guys

��––––––––––––––

“She was looking at you,” Sirius says first thing when Remus enters the room.

He is giving his back, folding and unfolding a shirt that has something against being unwrinkled. His hand stretches the material, fingers swiping the wrinkles away and yet, like the fucking itch of unwanted jealousy Sirius is feeling curled in his stomach, it does not cooperate. Why is he doing his laundry when Kreacher is there to lick his boots?

The door is softly closed and shoes are taken off.

“Was she?”

Sirius throws away the shirt exasperated, angry and turns, “Do not fucking play dumb, Remus!” in a burst of all the ugly thoughts haunting him throughout the day since the scene of the meeting. It won't stop replaying in his head.

Remus’ smile and Nymphadora's blush and how old Sirius felt with his sunk eyes and lost beauty.

After that, he went to his mother's room, rummaging in her vanity set for anything that would have helped give him what was once his. Sirius had been the light of the party. He had been flirted with, flattered and had charmed anyone with a look, or a grin and never cared for any of it because he had Remus in his heart.

But now? What does he have for himself?

He can't join the fight. Back in prison, now with just more rooms to roam around and run from his mistakes during sleepless nights of nightmares. He can't even maintain Remus’ eyes on himself because broken.

“… Sirius–”

“Do not use that fucking voice with me”

He sounds like his mother screaming at Orion. Between them, silence or Walburga demanding more of Father as she had done with all of them, her included. And in this house, his new cage, it's difficult to stop sinking in old memories and old fears.

He wants to apologise, reassuring he does not want to sound like Mother. Sirius has never wanted in his life to be like her.

He has always lost that fight.

“I want you to tell her. I want you to tell everyone, I'm tired of hiding.”

Remus quirks an eyebrow, the question loud between them; is Sirius still talking about their secret relationship?

“They won't kick you out of the Order if you tell them what we are,” Sirius continues, ignoring Remus’ little sigh, the drop of his shoulders because they both know it was coming. The signs were all there and no one else except Remus knew how to handle him. Not anymore, at least. All gone, leaving him behind. “They are your friends”

“They are your friends too.” Remus makes his way towards him, jacket wet from the rain outside and Sirius studies it as, just with his mind, he will feel the cold spring rain on his own skin.

Sirius cannot remember the last time he was outside. Even as Padfoot it could be dangerous because Peter… Peter could…

“No. I didn't rot for twelve years thought to have killed James and Lily to call those people my friends. All my friends are fucking dead!”

And so should I! is not said, but it is there between Sirius’ ribs and the need to point his finger at Remus for thinking him capable of wanting to hurt Lily and Harry, betraying James.

It's unfair. It was war, no one trusted no one; except Sirius did trust someone, didn't he? And everything had ended because of that.

Sirius, deep down, is aware that blaming Remus is not the way, but he spent the last twelve years replaying his errors, going through what he could have done to change them… spent those years blaming himself and now it's someone else's turn because he is so tired.

The pressure of his guilt has been clawing his heart for too long. What will Effie say when Sirius is going to meet her in his death?

It is a question that does not let him breathe. Night after night, her cries… He promised his ma he would take care of their James. How could she forgive Sirius after Godric's Hollow?

“Tonks looks at you,” Sirius mutters, hands brushing his hair away from his face and it does not help calm himself down.

She is younger. Full of life and less haunted than him. She can go wherever she wants and is so similar to a younger Sirius.

‘You must have noticed,’ he wants to accuse Remus. ‘You must or you would have not given her the time of day. Am I not enough?'

“And not making clear you are not interested does not help”

Tonks, she likes to be called. A change of name, a rewriting of fate just like Sirius who had hated his to the core– Effie would call them ‘Potters!’ for a meal or a family meeting and he had been included. A Potter. Not officially, neither of blood but in spirit, it had been enough.

Sirius wants to be enough; to have died saving his family like he had planned, bringing as many Death Eaters as he could six feet under with him. To be back in their old London apartment he got from Uncle Al, just the two of them. Remus and Sirius, on their sofa and Sirius stealing sips from Remus’ tea cup.

He wants Remus to touch and love him as they did when younger and less drained by life but when Remus tries to do that same thing, Sirius snarls and dodges to flee.

“Where are you going? Are you not coming to bed?”

The thought of lying down makes him itchy.

“We both know I won't sleep. Tonight, I don't have it in me to fake it for you”

----

np tag: @vlaflipvla (bc you were excited about it) @myriadparacosm

bc last time you said i didn't include you so now i did :))

[artificial-transmutations]

Transformation Letter: Michael

Hey, I'm Michael, a 20 year old guy at a top university, but it's not exactly the experience I thought it would be and I just want a change. I'm just kinda an average looking guy with short brown hair, blue eyes and an unremarkable body, pretty average all round. I still wanna be a man at the end of this, being an object isn't exactly appealing to me.

Being accepted at a top university has always been a dream of yours, but boy didn't you anticipate how much work it was going to be. At first, the orientation phase had been pretty fun. But after the first semester was over, you realized just how hard the courses were. It was certainly no comparison to the school you went to before and sometimes you even found yourself envying the people that were in the normal degree program.

Still, you had a dedication to make the best of it and managed to stay in the top tier of your classes. That came at a cost, however. Your social life was pretty much non-existent. It was always late evening when you finished up studying and most of the time you were simply too tired to even think about partying or meeting friends.

You are at your desk now, surrounded by tons of books, and have just begun a new chapter, listening to some lo-fi music from your laptop to help you concentrate. It has been weeks now since you sent that letter to the shady internet company in a moment of weakness. Everything you wrote was true: You don't really hate the university, but it isn't at all how you imagined it to be: A relaxed and laid back episode of your life filled with friends and parties. Everything in you longs for a change, but your ambition keeps you on track.

Still, you normally wouldn't express these thoughts to a stranger like that, and you don't really know why you decided to write the letter in the end. Regardless, it has been weeks now and you doubt there will be any kind of answer. Perhaps the company has gone out of business or has never existed to begin with.

You turn the page of your textbook, looking sighingly at yet another page filled with formulas when suddenly the music coming from your laptop changes.

Where before it has been more of a rhythmic lo-fi noise, the track that just began to play is clearly a pop song, something you have heard at the radio before. You frown. Perhaps Dotify has reached the end of your playlist and has entered that arcane mode with 'recommendations'. You always wondered how in the world the algorithm choses those, as they more often than not have nothing in common with the previous playlist.

You reach over to your laptop to change the music back, but you stop in your tracks. Even though you're not exactly a fan of pop songs, it is quite a catchy tune, so you let it play.

You quickly realize, however, that it's distracting you from your lecture. After you have read the same formula twice over, you lay down the book. Perhaps it’s time for a short break. You lean back in your chair and close your eyes for a moment, rubbing your temples and just listen to the music, trying to recollect what you've learned so far in this session.

However, the more you try to remember and connect the dots, the less you feel like you understand the subject at all. It's like whenever you try to concentrate on a connection you have already made, the cheery tune invades your mind and snaps it in two. The whole thing is just two complicated, beyond your mental reach. You feel dumb admitting that, but perhaps you have to start being honest to yourself. You're just not that bright, and it has probably been a mistake trying to pretend you were and enrolling in this university.

The song ends and a new one begins. This one is more powerful, rock music from the 80s or 90s. It is surprisingly relaxing to just admit defeat, and you open your eyes again, leaning back in your chair, arms crossed behind your head. For a good few seconds, you just stare at the pile of books in front of you before you notice something is off. There's a faint smell of... sweat? Following it with your head, you notice your armpits. You are smelling your own sweat and somehow it is not unpleasant at all.

Additionally, however, you can see that your pits are filled with a generous bush of hair - which is something new for you entirely. You normally don't have any body hair to speak of. Curiously, you take a closer look and sniff, try to pull on them - but the pit hair is clearly here and clearly yours. Weird!

You scratch your chin and are surprised when your hand meets stubble. You have definitely been smooth just a few moments ago. Yet, the bristly texture feels good under your hand. You rub your cheeks, where your facial hair seems to be even denser and smile. It's the kind of manly and mature look that you have always dreamed about, even though it is somewhat unexpected. It's a bit sad that you don't have a mirror, but you can feel it with your hand just fine as the beat of the music continues.

You get up from the chair, stretch your limbs and feel a weird pressure in your crotch. As you look down, you notice that your dick is pressing hard against the fabric of your pants. It's hardly surprising, with the weird changes going on to your body! You wonder...

Sheepishly, you slip out of your shirt and are rewarded with a pretty alien sight: Not only is your chest covered in short dark hair, it is also much more impressive than what you're used to. In fact, there is visible definition, not only in your chest but also in your abs where a thick treasure trail of hairs disappears into your pants. But not only your torso is changed. You can practically watch as with every beat, another pulse goes through your body, adding a bit of manliness, a bit of muscle here and there. Your biceps bulge out as if you work out regularly and even your legs gain a bit of definition.

The music keeps playing, and so do the changes. You are no longer the skinny, nerd boy who struggles with calculus. No, you are a real man, a guy that knows his way around a gym, a guy that is respected by other people. You are not only a man, however, you are a real fine specimen of man, with a powerful aura, a confident smile and a dick that is so hard that it could cut diamonds.

When the next track begins playing, you have to smile. You know that song! It's metal, of course, heavy metal. Your fingers begin to drum on the desk as your body changes further. Now, not only does the hair spread further, it also becomes a bit longer, more shaggy. Even more intelligence flees your eyes as they change from the bright blue to a dull brown, but you don't care. You are going with the rhythm of the music, let yourself being carried by it. Every time you hit the wood of your desk, your motions become more precise and more powerful, the bangs louder and exactly on point. Your muscles bulge out, and the smile on your face widens, until you are full-on grinning.

You don't need any books, any lectures, or anything else anymore. The music is the only thing that is important. As you give yourself over to the rhythm, something important changes. No longer is the beat carrying you, you are carrying the beat. Around you, reality changes as the desk and books dissolve, giving way to an expensive drum kit in front of you. Your clothing melts away until you are only wearing a pair of black leather shorts filled to the brim with your erect cock. You know you're in public but you're too dumb, too careless and most of all too manly to care. Let them see your erection bulge! Your powerful arms bring down the drumsticks with force while the rest of your mates play other instruments, and the frontman shouts the song's lyrics into the microphone. Sweat covers your face and your chest, your hair sticks to your forehead as you put every ounce of strength you can muster into producing the loudest beats possible. You can see the crowd going wild through the light of the stage and a feeling of power surges through you, causing your cock to leak a bit of precum into the front of your shorts.

You're no longer a student, and you're no longer a wimp. You are the drum-man of a heavy metal band, and people love you. They adore you, the way your muscles shine with sweat, the way the drums bang out their beat and the way you seem so happy and carefree, as dumb as a brick.

Wow, I think Michael definitely changed for the better here - and all because of a half-forgotten letter. What do you think, does this body suit him better now?

Over at my riot page (just a tip jar!), you can find a few different versions of Michael.

[sat0-get0]

・❥ 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 - 𝐄𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐫

ꕥ 𝙘𝙬 : 𝙬𝙘: 2.9𝙠 (𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙮 𝙖𝙨𝙛𝙛), 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚 𝙖𝙪, 𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩, 𝙨𝙪𝙗 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 (𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙥𝙨𝙮 𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝, 𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝), 𝙪𝙣𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙭, 𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩 (𝙣𝙤 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 ???), 𝙥𝙚𝙩 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 (𝙢𝙖𝙢𝙖 𝙭100, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙞𝙘𝙚), 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 & 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩, 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙛 𝙞 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙭𝙤𝙭𝙤 | 𝙢𝙙𝙣𝙞

✎ 𝘢𝘯 : 𝘪 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘰𝘵, 𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘧 𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘰. 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 100 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘤 𝘪𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 3𝘬 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴, 𝘪 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 ༄

You were always so different from Eren, even during your childhood. He'd always play outside as a kid, barging into your home covered in dirt and bruises and you'd always be there to help him out. Even as time flew, you'd help him out in other ways. With his homework, with any exams, lying to his parents, etc etc. You'd only separated once in your life and that was when you both made it into high school but it didn't stop you two from hanging out.

Always on facetime, coming over to his house that still happened to be nearby, and hanging out on weekends. Those 4 years didn't matter much anyway seeing as you both got into the same college. The thing is, growing up with somebody always means random moments where it dawns on you that y'all are really growing up.

Sometimes Eren would come over to your college dorm smelling like weed, eyes red and lidded as he plopped down into your bed carelessly. Or you'd go to his dorm and see bottles of alcohol that he's clearly doing a shitty job at concealing and you question how he's even gotten this far without getting caught. You've stuck to your old ways and he's stuck to his just in other aspects. He shows up stressed for an exam, you help him study. He's drunk from a party, you give him water to sober him up.

One day, however, it's like you and him did a 180. You were absolutely tired of college and the disappointing party you just left early from did nothing to help. You stand in front of Eren's dorm, heels held in one hand by the straps as you give your signature knocks that lets him know that its you. He opens the door almost instantly, looking you up and down.

"It's 2 am." he says but he opens the door wider anyway, watching as you stumble in. His room is lit by the lamp on his nightstand, keeping the mood low and mellow. "Yeah and I'm not fucked up enough." you sigh, dragging your feet as you walk further inside. You hear the click of the door behind you and make move to take off your bra, doing it all while still keeping your dress on and throwing it somewhere you won't remember.

"Are you drunk?" he asks, sitting beside you on his bed. You turn to look at him, meeting his eyes with yours that are lidded from being tired of everyone's shit. "Do I look drunk?" Eren examines your features for a second before replying, "Yes."

You weren't that drunk. Tipsy at most. You weren't content to being that close to sobriety though and another drink didn't sound too bad right about now. But you know Eren wasn't much of a liquor person these days, choosing to roll up a joint instead of swallowing anything he knew would give his tastebuds an unpleasant feel. It appears you'd have to settle.

"Let's smoke." you tell him and he raises a brow at you. "Smoke what?" He's unsure but at the same time he knows exactly what you're talking about. "Don't play dumb, 'ren." you say as you let yourself fall back on his bed with a soft thud. "You don't smoke weed." he throws the obvious out there, still puzzled. "Well, now I want to."

Eren simply shrugs, getting up and moving to his nightstand. He opens up the drawer and pulls out a small bag that pops with color. He also grabs a rolling tray and places a few more items on it. "You sure you wanna do this? You have liquor in your system." he says with his back turned, grabbing a towel and placing it down so that it covers the small area that his dorm door doesn't cover.

"Yeah, been curious for a while now." you confess, looking up at him from your spot as he walks back over to you. You sit back up as he sits beside you, placing the rolling tray on his lap. You watch as he pulls out rolling paper from a small packet and places it on the tray. "If you start tweakin', I'm giving you water and you're going to bed." he mutters, pulling a bud of weed out of the small baggie and placing it into his grinder.

You've seen people smoke weed all the time but you've never really seen the process. That's why you're staring intently at what he's doing, trying to push back the fuzzy feeling in your head from the alcohol. "I'm not gonna act any different, Eren." you tell him unknowingly. He simply dead pans at you as he twists his grinder, crushing up the weed. "I'm just 'posed to feel like I'm on cloud 9, right?" you ask and he opens his mouth as if he was gonna say something else but only let's out a 'sure'.

Eren takes the lid off the grinder, revealing to you the now crushed up weed. You watch at he spreads it in a line along the rolling paper, making sure the line is straight. He picks up the paper carefully before toying with it a bit, folding it in a way that you can now recognize it as a joint. He brings it up to his lips before licking it carefully and pressing it down so that it's sealed.

"Are you done now?" you ask, tone coming off as impatient without you meaning it to. "Basically, yeah." He pats both of his pockets before reaching into his left one, pulling out a red lighter. Your eyes stare at the way he holds the joint between his fingertips, lighting up the end until the joint lights.

"You might cough." he tells you before bringing the joint up to his lips, inhaling and releasing smoke before inhaling again. You can already smell the weed much more than before as the smoke dances around you. "I don't cough or choke." you reply. It's true. Anything you've smoked such as hookah, a cigarette once, you didn't cough. You didn't even choke or cough the first time you gave a guy head.

Eren gestures the joint towards you and you take it between your fingers, pretty nails making the moment pinterest worthy. You bring it up to your lips and breathe in n' out first before inhaling the weed. He was almost right about his statement earlier, the smoke hitting the back of your throat. You don't let it get to you though, taking a deep breath before exhaling and clearing your throat.

"That shit tastes horrible, what the fuck." you mutter, face scrunched up in disgust. Eren shrugs before taking the joint back and taking his couple of puffs. He gives it back to you, letting you do your thing as he goes into his fridge, pulling out 4 waterbottles. You try again, inhaling and ghosting the smoke this time before exhaling it. The taste wasn't any better even after your third inhale but you already felt different.

"How you feel?" he asks lowly, placing 2 of the waterbottles on the nightstand before handing you one and keeping one for himself. You look at him with a small smile before telling him the first feeling that comes to mind. "Calm." You hand Eren the joint before cracking open your water bottle, suddenly feeling parched.

"Yeah?" he asks, taking a hit himself. You nod and move your tongue around in your mouth, feeling like the water you just drank evaporated instead of being swallowed. "You look smacked as fuck." he tells you and you whip out your phone camera to get a good look at yourself. Your eyes are already pinkish and you can't seem to widen them for more than 2 seconds. You toss your phone aside before shrugging. "You look normal." you tell him.

He takes his last hit before handing you the joint that's become significantly smaller. "You can take the last hits." he offers and you do, reducing the size of the joint even more before putting it out on the rolling tray. Eren places the tray along with everything else on top of it back into his nightstand before laying beside you.

"Eren, my mouth is dry." you say, continuing to move it around in your mouth. "Drink water." he says simply. "Tried that, didn't work." You turn to look at him and he does the same a second after. "Is your mouth dry?" you ask him and he shakes his head. "Not really." You bring your head up by propping it up on your hand supported by your elbow and forearm. "You should like, share your saliva with me." you say without thinking yet you don't question why you do.

"How?" he asks you as if considering. "Like.." you move closer to him, nose nudging against him as you smile. "You could kiss me right now." You're definitely high, maybe a little cross faded. You and Eren have definitely had your moments growing up. As the both of you got older, he'd notice the changes in your body and you'd notice his. He'd watch your small body grow up to have curves and you'd watch his prepubescent body form into abs and muscles as his facial hair grew. Of course there'd be tension and it made pushing feelings aside difficult on both ends.

"Don't play with me." he huffs out, trying to mask his emotions behind a small laugh. You pout, bringing a hand to Eren's chest. "'m not playing with you, 'ren." you tell him, gaze lingering on his lips for for a little too long before meeting his eyes. "Swear?" he asks you and you nod. That's enough for him to bring his head closer, letting his lips envelope yours.

He maneuvers you on top of him, one hand settling on your waist and the other on your plush ass. Your dress rises up as you straddle him and he can't help but lift it up just a tad more, smoothing his hand over your lace panties. You groan softly as he bites your lower lip, licking into your mouth. You reciprocate the energy, tugging his bottom lip with your teeth, giving it a gentle suck. You giggle against his lips before sitting up on top of him, feeling his bulge press against you.

"Shit.." he mumbles under his breath, hands smoothing over your thighs that drive him wild. You fake a pout, hands going underneath his tanktop and feeling up his abs. "What's wrong, baby?" you ask him with a sweet tone. His eyes look at you with a dangerous lust, hands squeezing your thighs. "Don't play, mama. I'll fuck you 'til you cry." he mutters lowly, the bass in his voice making you shiver. "What if I want you to fuck me?" you reply and grin at the way he moves his hips up slightly, pressing his dick against you.

He moves the both of you back, scooting backwards until he's sitting up against his headboard. "Take that fucking dress off." he groans, throwing off his tanktop. You move your dress upwards and off your body, giggling at the way Eren gazes at your tits. You lean forward, placing teasing pecks on his lips until he brings you forward with a tense grip on your hips, giving you a proper make out session.

You feel his hand go down into your panties and keen against his lips, letting him rub at your awaiting clit. You grind your hips down onto his hand, already dampening his finger tips as the digits prod at your entrance. You feel him plunge 2 fingers deep in your pussy and throw your head back, moaning louder than either of you expected.

You quickly place your lips back on his, breathing heavier than before as he fucks you on his fingers. His thick long fingers reach spots yours never could and you have to suckle on his tongue to keep your mind about you. You were right, kissing was most definitely the answer to quenching the thirst the weed left you with. You can't help but drape your arms around him, letting him finger you as you let your head rest in the crook of your neck.

"Feels good, mama?" he asks and you nod, letting out small whimpers into his ears. You distract yourself by kissing his neck, hoping to ignore your orgasm that tempts to take over your body. He doesn't let you get to that point anyway, removing his fingers from your hole and grinning at your disappointed whine.

"Shh, 'm gonna fuck you." he reassures you, sliding his sweats and boxers down enough to free his dick. He uses your slick to pump himself with his fist, his precum helping him out as well. You look down and your eyes finally widen without you having to do so forcefully, looking at his threatening size. "It don't bite." he tells you, laughing at your reaction. "It look like it do." you pout but your face changes quickly as he lifts your hips for you, pulling your panties to the side as he nudges his tip against your entrance.

You gasp as the head of his dick pops inside you, spreading your pussy already. You dig your nails into his shoulders, crying out a series of swears the more you go down on his dick. You huff out a forceful sigh once you've gotten him all the way inside, your ass meeting his thighs. "You good?" he asks, looking into your eyes and you try your best to deadpan at him. "Yeah, 'ren. A big dick splitting me in half feels like nothing." He laughs at your dramatic display before bending his knees and placing his hands firm on your waist.

You whine as he thrusts up into your pussy, his hips moving upwards towards yours. You have no choice but to sit there and take it, his hands keeping you down on his dick. You let him piston in n' out of your pussy, hitting the sweetest of spots deep inside you. The weed and the remaining alcohol in your body had you feeling fuzzy all over but none of it compared to the feeling his thrusts were giving you. Eren made you see stars, he made you feel things no other guy could make you feel.

You would've never imagined actually managing to fuck your childhood best friend. Of course you'd imagine him fucking you intimately from time to time but you never thought the day would come. Now here you are, on top of him and letting him pound your pussy like it's his. And it is his, has always been his.

He lets his grip on your hips loosen a bit as he cranes his neck downwards, spitting onto your clit. You whine as he moves his dick deeper inside you and attempt to lift your hips but the strong grip is back, keeping you grounded against him. "Don't run from this dick, mama." he mutters, looking up into your red eyes with his own. "Gotta make you cum on it first."

He lets his legs lay flat against the bed and gives you a new rhythm. Moving your hips against him in a way that makes you grind on him, your clit rubbing against his pelvis. Your breath hitches as he moves your hips in quick motions, grinding your pearl against him with more force. The sight above him is beautiful, watching the way your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth hangs open as you cry out sinful things.

"Gonna make me cum, 'ren." you whine, assisting him by doing some of the work yourself. You place your hands on his chest, grinding back and forth against him like your life depended on it, squeezing his dick tightly. He lets his hands rest loosely on your hips now that you no longer need his help, taking matters into your own hands.

"Cum on my dick, then." he tells you, letting you use him as your own fuck toy. Your mouth hangs open in a silent cry as you suddenly come to a halt above him, your slick seeping out quickly and coating his thighs. You ride out your orgasm with a few slow grinds before collapsing on top of Eren, not even having the energy to move anymore.

He bends his knees once more, going back to drilling up inside you to chase his own orgasm. You whine at the overstimulation as he pounds your sweet pussy, the sound of your ass slapping against his thighs echoing throughout the room. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum." he grits out against clenched teeth, fucking into you with more vigor. Your whimpers turn to pants as he pulls out of you, cumming all over your pelvis and a bit spurting onto his own. He joins you in your fit of pants, letting you lay against him despite the sticky feeling between your bodies.

Your breathing calms down along with your heart, the thumps of your heart beat aligning with his. You appear to have clocked out instantly after his orgasm, head laying lazily on his shoulder as you breathe softly against him. The only thing on his mind now is having to clean up this sinful mess and the fact that he just fucked the shit out of his best friend.

𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 ✩

[sillybayo]

Can't sleep. Time for me to elaborate on this

Notes:

-This is a copy and pasted ramble from discord with some tweaks now that I'm further into the game. This was originally written when I have only just started the third semester arc, and even now, I haven't finished the game. So no spoilers in the reposts or comments please :(! If you want a good idea of where I am, then I've only just started the actual change of heart mission

-The characters discussed in this ramble are high schoolers and below the age of 20. I don't know how old they are in strikers or in any other spin off, and I do not plan on playing them. So please do not leave any gross comments about them, I will only block you. (If you're familiar with my rgu rambles then this isn't anything like them,, I'm just annoying and scaring away half the fandom)

-Warning for a lot of ableism in the school system and beyond

----

Ok so its like. How ableism in school effects people in different ways and how to cope with it. This is semi headcanony? I don't know how bonkers of a statement it is? Basically its like Ryuji being mentally + physically disabled and constantly trying to fight for the best. Makoto is mentally disabled and masks for adults approval and just accepts how things are. Sumire could VERY easily be read as physically disabled I don't think I need to explain it that much. Neither of the phantom thieves fit into society in some way or another but with those three its a much more of a like. They will never fit in kind of thing.

Something that stands out to me the most is how Makoto is the only one who understands Ryujis "dumb moments".

(Sorry for the weird combination of video and screenshots. Tumblr is weird)

I don't reallyyyyyyyyyyy read it as "Makoto is smarter than everyone else which is how she even begins to get him". Its more like she actually understands. She gets it.

Like lets be for eel. Makoto was basically pressured into working super hard. Theres no way she struggles with it that is only and simply in the "everyone wants me to appeal to their expectations" way.

She is smart but I feel like her studying hard is something she forces herself to do with the weight of ableism on her shoulders, which only makes it harder. I'm not sure if I'm making sense???? but Ryuji and Makoto can easily be read as having adhd. Ryuji as the typical LOL RANDOM 🤪 boy that inconveniences everyone whos actually really tired and struggling really badly and working as hard as he can. Makoto can be read as "oh, no, she isn't disabled :). She acts normal" when she really is and it pushed to the limits and can't fight against it and create a better school experience for herself because of how everyone just denies it.

Theres also Sae actively trying to make sure Makoto gets the recognition she deserves. Yes, this is because Makoto is a girl in a world where men control everything. But I personally feel like theres also this intersectionality of misogyny and ableism, which only means Makoto has to work even harder and has more weight on her shoulders.

Additionally, adhd is already ignored when it comes to girls having it, because to society, its mainly a boys thing where they jump up and down and run everywhere. Girls aren't thought to have adhd because not only do they have to mask harder to be taken seriously, but also because society ignores other symptoms and just views them as normal or not as much of an inconvenience to them personally and not to the person who actually has the disability.

You can also VERY EASILY add the idea of Makoto being japanese into all of the intersectionality stuff. Mental disorders are even HARDER to get diagnosed when you're colored,, and nobody cares until its too late. East asian readers who live/have lived in east asia are completely free to add on to this and correct me, as I don't know what it would be like when the mass majority of people you're surrounded by everyday are the same race as you, as you wouldn't have to deal with stereotypes or the system being against you (unless I am wrong :<!), but I still feel like this is DEFINITELY worth mentioning

I'm not physically disabled (I suppose? Saying this because of depression aches but they likely don't count) so I can't really be as personal about Ryujis leg and Sumires,,,,,, everything. I feel like Sumire could be read as having an invisible disability thats not taken seriously. Something something internalized ableism something something the school being so hard on her is making everything worse something something chasing to be someone else when in the end it'll never work.

Even with Sumire becoming Kasumi just because she can't imagine living as "her murderer", theres something about living as someone with different privileges and expectations than you. Theres something about not being able to be "as good" as them, especially when everyone thinks you are them. Theres something about having to struggle with something that no one can see. "This is Kasumi, not Sumire. So why is she failing so much?"

Theres also something about Ryujis "perfect world" being focused on his leg healing. Yes, hes a part of the track team again. But they aren't really the focus. Think of characters like Sumires dad, Mika, and Shibusawa. They have character portraits/sprites. While this doesn't 100% mean that they're important, it does make you remember them better. It establishes their personalities better and they're mentioned quite a bit.

Meanwhile, the side characters in Ryujis social links are just known as, well, "the track team" and "the coaches". They do have names, but, please be honest with yourself, do you remember them? And they don't have actual sprites either. Just typical modules.

Meanwhile, when you go up and talk to Ryuji, Akira/Ren/The Protagonist doesn't ask about the team or anything. Its about Ryujis leg (and also how they met I guess which is quite romantic but thats not relevant). And its normal to wish your disability wasn't there at all. I wish so everyday. Its a very common experience, especially when your disability is a roadblock to achieving your dreams.

It kind of makes me think of Maruki as........kind of ableist? At least in the context of this headcanon. Because all he is doing is encouraging Sumire and Ryuji to conform into an identity that they'll never truly be, which only hurts them more in the end.

(If any physically disabled readers than to add onto this or correct something then feel free to! I'd love to hear it :3)

Basically what I'm saying is that these three specifically should come together and kiss. And snuggle. Maybe make out a little. Maybe burn down shujin. I came up with a ship name for them (niijimoyoshizawa) but as you can see, its ass. So theres that.

Even if you don't end up shipping them,, then I hope you imagine them being sweet friends to each other,, or that I've gave you a different perspective on their arcs

[niefics]

RED LIGHT — PJS X FEM!Y/N

Warnings : Heavy Angst, mentions of cheating, kissing, pet names (baby), cursing, arguing, fluff at the end.

Synopsis : Y/n is engaged to Park Jongseong, she found out some information that could possibly break their relationship for the worst.

A/n : I just randomly thought of this while grabbing a late night snack, and bruh idk man. I see jay as such a sweet bf but this just popped up.

My car was getting worked on, so Jay had to pick me up from work. That evening I found out something horrible.. Jay cheated on me. It wasn’t recent, but it still hurts me thinking about how he came home and kissed me with the same lips he used on her.

Waiting on him to get here I just looked at the beautiful engagement ring he bought me, struggling to keep my self together inside of the lobby of my job. I sighed loudly waiting for him to get here. My phone vibrated in my purse, I pulled it out and saw his it was jay.

“I’m outside baby.” He texted. I walked through the entrance of my job seeing his dark gray car, I opened the door placing getting in and putting my seatbelt on. “Hii, baby.” He spoke looking at me and smiling. It was the same old charming smile, the one he pulled me with the first time we talked. I just looked at him and smiled. He leaned in and kissed me, I didn’t kiss back.

He pulled back and looked at me for a moment noticing my emotion. “Are you okay ?” He asked me, I nodded. “Mhm, of course I’m fine, just tired. Todays been hell I just want to go home.” I spoke looking out of the passenger window, resting my elbow on the rest of the car door. I might’ve sounded like I was calm and fine in my mind, but to him I sounded upset. He just wondered what happened today at work and what he could do to fix whatever he did if he did anything. The love he felt for me was far to strong and his mind would overthink if he just let me sit there irritated and upset.

He pulled the car out of park, and drove off. The night sky above us, stars glistening in the sky. He placed his hand on my thigh like he would normally, but I moved it. “Jay no, I’m not in the mood to be touched right now.” I spoke in a kind of stern tone. He didn’t say anything but he felt horrible. He felt like everything was his fault. As he drove he got to a stop light. He mustered up the courage to ask me what’s wrong.

“Y/n, are you okay? You say you’re just tired but you sound upset at something, and whenever you’re upset about anything from work you rant to me about it.. this doesn’t feel like something having to do with work.” He spoke looking at me but watching for the light to change as well. “No I’m fine really jay, we can talk about it when we get home baby I promise.” “No Y/N, I can’t wait till we get home. Im really worried for you and I want to know what’s wrong and what’s on your mind.” He spoke. Looking at me, the last thing he wanted to do is wait that long to hear what’s wrong with me, he was growing frustrated.

I sighed, I knew weather I liked it or not this was gonna turn into a argument. So I shared what was on my mind for so long.

“Jay, did you cheat on me ? Please tell the truth.” I asked looking at him. He forwarded his eyebrows hearing what I said. “Baby what- what no. Where did that come from ?” He asked looking at me. “Jay, you’re lying.” “Wha- what, no I’m not.” I sighed briefly. “Jongseong, you are. You slept with my friend, at that party the year we moved in together.” I spoke, I felt kind of stupid & embarrassed for feeling so upset about something that happened 2 years ago. The moment I said that the red light sooned turned green. “What.. baby, listen.. she threw herself onto me I was drunk.” He spoke, I looked down at the engagement ring, rethinking our whole relationship. Maybe if I didn’t say yes to the study date, maybe if I did miss class that day I wouldn’t be in the predicament.

“Y/n listen, please it was a dumb mistake I think about all the time, I wish I never went to that party without you. I regret everything about that night.” He spoke, I just couldn’t believe him. I just couldn’t anymore. Jay never lied about ANYTHING! But this just broke me in a sense, was there other times possibly?

“Jay why would you prepose to me knowing you did what you did? Leaving me to think I’ve fell for the most perfect guy, you laid under me that night.” As I spoke about how I felt tears started streaming. “You kissed me, telling me how much you loved me, you kissed me jay, YOU FUCKING KISSED ME AFTER HAVING SEX WITH HER!” I yelled hearing the hurt in my tone. Jay didn’t say anything but listened, he was just upset at himself for the shit he did as a boyfriend and a soon to be husband. “I know Y/n, I regret everything.” He spoke. “Yeah, they all say that.” I mumbled, resting my elbow back on the car door. He knew I had trust issues from my past relationship & did that shit.

“I know I fucked up as your boyfriend, and fiancé. I regret that night so much, I wish it never happened but there’s nothing I can fix about it. I wanted to hide that night from you because I didn’t want to come to terms with what I did myself. I love you way to much to even do such a thing.” He spoke. I didn’t say and just listened. “And the thought of loosing someone I see as the mother of my kids hurts me so much. I don’t want to think about you with anyone else but me. I beat myself up every time I think about it.” He spoke audibly sounding hurt and broken.

I looked at him, seeing how hurt he looked. “Jay, I can’t see myself with anybody else, I only see myself with you, but this broke me. I don’t know how long it will take me for me to trust you as much as I did before.” I spoke. After that the car went silent until we got home, ignoring each other until we were both heading to bed. I was on my phone scrolled and he crawled into our shared bed later than usual for reason. He hoped I slept first, he just couldn’t think about talking about it anymore. Me neither, I just couldn’t keep myself from not speaking to him anymore. I put my phone down scooting closer to him catching his attention. Pulling him into a hug while laying down.

“Jay, I still love you okay? I never won’t love you. But what you did physically hurt me.” I spoke holding him. He listened to what I had to say. “I’m not leaving you, I never will. I just.. need time to trust you again.” I spoke.

[mckinleyfinn]

JUKE BOX HERO, GOT STARS IN HIS EYES.

LIMA LOSER? OR IS THAT FINN HUDSON? THEY MIGHT EVEN PASS FOR MICHAEL EVANS BEHLING IN THE RIGHT LIGHT. THEY'RE TWENTY ONE, BUT STILL STUCK IN LIMA AT MCKINLEY. THEY'VE BEEN CALLED THE DUMB JOCK, BUT PREFER TO BE THE BIG MAN ON CAMPUS. MAYBE IF THEY FIX THEIR AESTHETIC AKA GRASS STAINED JEANS, MINDLESSLY TAPPING FINGERS TO MUSIC, TOWERING OVER EVERYONE ELSE, & THE USELESS ABILITY TO FALL ASLEEP ANYWHERE THEY'LL GET THEIR WAY. WORD ON THE SHOW CHOIR BLOGS ARE THEY'RE IN NEW DIRECTIONS SO GOOD LUCK TO THEM!

THE BASICS:

name: finn christopher hudson.

pronouns: he/him.

gender: cismale.

birthday/zodiac: august 14th, virgo.

birthplace: lima, ohio. 

relationship status: single af.

sexuality: straight-ish. 

occupation: part time at hummel's tires & lube and lima bowling.

sports/clubs: football (quarterback), baseball (center field), jazz club (drums) and show choir (new directions). 

major/minor: exercise science.

languages: just english.

social media handles: finnhudson for all socials.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

height: 6'4".

build: athletic.

eye color: brown.

hair color: black.

piercings: nah.

tattoos: nah.

other distinguishing features: goofy smile. 

style: like a normal dude, i dunno?

PERSONALITY/INTERESTS:

traits: i'm pretty damn loyal and trusting, but I can be kinda down on myself a lot, which I'm trying to work on.

likes: game nights with the boys, listening to my mom's old vinyls, my dog bono, girls, that burning feeling when you drink a soda, cheat days, marvel movies, comedy movies, etc.

dislikes: when your hand starts to hurt from playing too many video games, reading, people acting like I'm some big idiot, losing, etc.

fears: being a failure, but that's probably a super common one. i'm not crazy about snakes either.

skills: not bragging, but I think I'm pretty damn good at football. also just learned how to do a cartwheel, so I'm pretty hyped about that. also, play the drums.

quirks: you ever realize that there's this word you have known about your whole life and you don't know what it really means? like is being tall a quirk? or the fact that I listen to foreigner before every game?

hobbies: football, drums, video games, dungeons & dragons. if i had a little more free time, this would be a much longer list.

music tastes: check out my playlist! pretty much put it on everytime i'm in the car or working out or supposed to be studying or whatever else.

myers-briggs: i started to take the test to see but I got bored like not even halfway through, not gonna lie. but after looking at the different types, maybe a esfp???

kinsey scale: another test, but I actually took this one 'cause it was super short. got a two.

strengths: my leadership skills, athleticism, making people laugh, a general knowledge of eighties rock music, probably more that I can't think of right now.

weaknesses: donuts, cookies... basically any and every sweet there is. also dancing.

[fruit-salad-ship]

Ok now I can't help but imagine Plum having a rough day, coming back home and seeing that old bangle, and just going over to Peach and hugging her tight. "What's wrong, Plum?" "I'm just really glad you're here."

Do you think it hurt? To turn up at your new job and see that person who walked out of your life, for at that point in time, reasons unknown. Missy recognised peach instantly, and peach knew her too, behaviour never changed. But she didn’t recognise plum, not anymore, and honestly the ranger hardly recognised her either, what happened? She use to be so small.

The sting of realising you work for her, you’re a member of staff to someone who wrote to you, and only you, that maybe there was a chance to be friends once upon a time. Peach remembers how she left things, doesn’t bring it up. That was a long time ago now, people change. In her mind there was no way that’d be fixed, her dumb teenage brain to leave behind a sorry wouldn’t have been enough to fix her awful behaviour back then.

But they worked, and the rivalry returned and their competitive nature grew once more into something that brought them both motivation and joy.

There would have been a night, maybe a staff party or something where it’s brought up. Plums brave or drunk enough to laugh about it, show her the stupid broken bangle she uses to mark her current page in any book she’s currently enjoying. 10 years later, still got it. She can’t even explain why, just didn’t have the heart to throw it out. Wore it until it snapped. Peach gives a genuine apology, no note, actual words, and sure it’s awkward and she’s clearly beat herself up about it for years, but at least they’re working it out. No hard feelings, both girls feel like it kind of…changed them, for the better mostly. Though they admit they always kind of missed the old days, recalling that one time plum punched peach square in the jaw, or the mission where they both ended up in a muddy ditch because of their failed plan. It’s nice to laugh together again, for real.

You just know plum teases peach for being her first kiss, the joke is there ready for the taking, and both find it plenty amusing. Peach admits she totally sniffed out another gay then and there, kind of impressed she managed it. Sixth sense or something.

Plum can’t help but mention how much peach has changed, calmer, more level headed, actually fun to be around, not just a ball of rage.

Grey spots them just away from the party talking, leaves them to it, they need this, they need to fix that past and move forward, and honestly it’s nice to see peach so engaged in improving with plum around, the ranger makes her work smarter.

So yeah, by the time they’re at that point, where plums had that crap day. Nothings gone right, but that broken trinket she touches almost every day to mark where she’s at in her journal or take note of her page in her research is a reminder that she’s strong, she can handle it. Be like peach, be tough, push through the hard days. Lord knows she’s had to before.

Gets home and there’s that big dope, gone are the days where they’d fight endlessly. Peach turns and smiles in the apron, busy making dinner, half the Pokemon in the house run to greet the ranger. She is home, she is loved. Peach sees she’s looking tired, switched from contacts to glasses, must have been a long day.

“C’mere killer.” One open arm gesturing for plum to come over, putting her bag down on the table as she moves. It’s small and dumb, but the little things really mean a lot after days like today. She gets bundled in one strong arm, hugged tight, both her arms up around peach’s neck just buried in her. “Grey said you’ve had a long one, thought I’d make your favourite tonight. Want to talk about it?”

A million miles from the peach she studied with for that brief year.

“No I just want to forget about it. I’m just really glad you’re here.” A sentence that peach doesn’t fully get but there’s a lot behind it.

“I’ll always be here you dope.” A response plum believes fully. She’s not about to lose this one a second time.

[odysseywritings]

Interviewing the Sorceress

@flashfictionfridayofficial

She caught my eye with her colorful purple clothes, half her hair jet black and half white, and a collection of gold trinkets that had no obvious origin, such as a cyclops and a three headed alien. For privacy, her real name and location have been omitted, yet her van had an elaborate painting of a wizard surrounded by trees. She appears to be born in the 50s yet her energy is youthful and loose.

My dad fought in the Second World War, and he never shook that off, so I grew up a military brat. I went across the states but also Germany. And everywhere I went, I saw premonitions coming from anything at any time. I didn't think about them a lot until they came true. It started off small with what food would be in school or what buildings I'd see. You couldn't say this stuff out loud or you'd be labeled insane so I kept it inside like a good little patriot.

Then bombs showed up nearly every week, us being the "Duck and Cover" generation, and I had this growing anxiety that the world would end. It made me cold and violent toward anything and anyone, small or big. Why bother being good if the world would turn to fire and rubble before I could drive or get my first kiss?

My teenage years had me running away a lot, meeting outcasts, smoking, bussing with rock stars, joining protests, all that. I dabbled in tarot and psychedelics, but what I saw was different, more real. By the 70s, I'd go through these invisible doors that would open up.

When did you realize you were entering these doors?

They would be around corners: alleys, woods, interiors. I didn't feel anything change on my body, but I felt I was in a transient state. Like a caterpillar turning into mush in a chrysalis. Suddenly, I was no longer in my world. It was like being in an alien planet in those hokey B-movies. (laughs)

People looked the same, but the fashion was radical, people were teleporting in these phone booth things, and robots were much more life-like. And before I knew it, I'd flip back to the world of tie dye and an energy crisis.

Some people claim to be abducted by aliens. Do you think you experienced a similar fate?

Oh, goodness, no. I didn't see any little green or gray men. I always felt like I stayed on Earth. The free love movement and sexual revolution made the culture shock easier to absorb, but it was overwhelming at first. As the 80s went on, and progress was slowing down, I felt a longing to go back. I was so tired of people being cruel and dumb, getting obsessed with yuppie greed, settling down in unhappy marriages and jobs. Things were becoming hazy and I wondered if there was any optimism.

It took a few years before another door opened and I couldn't wait! Everything was even more futuristic. There was no smog, no poverty, no real divisions. People had magic, or some kind of advanced technology, where they could just create things out of thin air!

I spent so much time in that future, I left my old one for... I think, 8 years. In that time, I could feel the universe and grab all the atoms. They could be weaved and crafted like a sewing kit for any problem. Viruses, fuel shortages, broken bones, hunger, all gone. I didn't worry about survival like I used to, and I studied and traveled with all the time in the world. I even trained to be an astronaut!

I could see so much of the galaxy and beyond. Even in space, the most terrifying and lonely place, I felt secure knowing I was closer to knowing life in its entirety.

What made you decide to return here?

I didn't want to learn everything while I was still healthy. What else would I do besides get bored to death? I'm over 70 but I haven't felt this young before. All the regrets, shame, anger, confusion, and pessimism in my youth are so distant that they belong to someone who doesn't exist anymore.

What matters is that I keep doing new things, making the impossible happen, and delivering the truth to others. I know I seem like a crazy old lady, but you can find doors to enter if you turn your head around the corner, and discover a new way to live life when everything seems to drag you down.

Thank you for taking the time for this interview.

My pleasure, dear!

[evereinefaust]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞 ࿐ྂ

Pairing: Norway (Lukas Bondevik) X afab!Reader

Sypnosis: They prepared everything and celebrated her birthday grandly. And even though many gifts were given to her, one gift, in particular, coming from a certain male was the greatest she could've received.

Word Count: 2,549

The sun shone brightly on her, reflecting off her beautiful features. Even though it was still early, a certain group of people were panicking downstairs. Actually, it wasn't panicking, they are just in a hurry to prepare the whole house. By means of preparation, I mean that they need to decorate it all. Why? Because it is a special day, it is her birthday...

[Name] woke up groggily, actually, she was still asleep. She is still tired from the project she made last night. Even though, today, she had no classes. She is just industrious when it comes to studying, chores, and most of all, making stories. And that's why a certain Norwegian fell for her.

"Senpai! Wake up!" A certain female voice called the sleeping girl while she knocked on the door of her room. "Cath....rine... Please give me 10 more minutes..." The [h/l] [h/c]-haired female said, too tired to even open her eyes. "Geez! How long are you planning to stay inside this room, sleeping? The guys are waiting for you downstairs" She had an annoyed tone as she replied.

Yes, 2 females and 5 males live in one house. Cathrine was [Name]'s cute little kouhai, and she is now living with her and the Nordics. Ah, yes, the Nordics. They are actually [Name]'s housemates and as well as schoolmates. But only Lukas was her classmate. Cathrine is younger than her for 6 years and her classmate as well as crush is Emil.

The reason why Cathrine calls her senpai is that she is her upperclassman at school and also her superior in story-making. Cathrine loves [Name]'s stories, and she dedicated her life to creating more interesting stories like her senpai. But [Name] treats Cathrine her younger sister who helps her with her love life. Yes, Cathrine knows her love for the Norwegian, and since Emil, her crush, is Lukas' younger brother, she had the advantage to make them close.

"Senpai... Lukas will never return your feelings if you don't wake up now..." The black-haired girl entered the room as she told her. "Let him be. There is no denying that I'm still sleepy..." She replied, the younger female just sighed. She also sweat-dropped when she noticed that her senpai was sitting on her bed with her eyes still closed.

"This always happens when you try to wake up but can't" Cathrine sighed. Then, she noticed a paper on [Name]'s desk. She got curious and then went to it. "Once Upon A Time..." Cathrine muttered, that one caught the sleeping girl's attention.

She suddenly burst out of her bed and snatched the paper from the youngster. "Whoah! What is wrong, senpai? Did I see something that shouldn't?" The 13-year-old girl smirked and asked the 19-year-old female. [Name]'s face turned red while she hugged her papers tightly. "Cathrine! I told you not to read any more lemons, right?!" [Name]'s face is still red as a tomato. "As you can see, senpai. I never read lemons, only Emil does!" Cathrine retorted back.

"Oh shut up, I already know that the two of you read this kind of thing," She said then placed the paper back on her desk, Cathrine raised one of her eyebrows and then laughed. [Name] looked at her in confusion. "Anyways, since you're already awake, can you now take a bath and hurry up?" The black-haired female said then looked at her senpai which had a dumb-struck expression. Cathrine looked away and had a cat face.

"Anyways, if you will let me read your story 'Once Upon A Time', I would be delighted," Cathrine said then headed towards the door. "Sure, anything for my lovely kouhai" [Name] replied with a smile. Cathrine smiled and then exited the room.

"Better to get ready..." [Name] muttered to herself as she looked at the paper. It is a fanfiction story and still ongoing, it was all about royalties in medieval times. Cathrine loved how her senpai write stories, especially the finished story named 'In Love and War'. All of [Name]'s female friends liked her stories and even requested her to make them one.

After 10 minutes, [Name] went down the stairs and was greeted by the usual thing. "Good morning [Name], how's your night?" The Fin asked her when she got down. "Good morning too, Tino. Actually, I was tired because of last night, I was very busy doing my project" [Name] replied then went inside the dining room. When she went in, there was a [f/f] on a [f/c] plate, the [h/c] haired girl smiled when she saw the breakfast.

She sat on the chair and noticed that the table cloth was changed into [f/c]-colored one, she wondered why everything is so special, but she shrugged the idea off and then ate her breakfast. [Name] ate her food in delight, savoring each bite she took from her favorite food. Cathrine sat on the chair opposite to her and then placed her arms on the table, her palms on her chin while watching the older female with a smile.

"That's creepy, will you stop it?" A shiver came down from [Name]'s back when she noticed that her kouhai was watching her eat. Cathrine chuckled then looked somewhere else. "You know, senpai. How long do you need to hide your feelings for Lukas?" The girl suddenly asked, earning the older female's attention. "Cathrine, you wouldn't know how hard it is to confess your feelings for someone who doesn't like you back. That will only hurt your own feelings" The girl explained while pointing the spoon at her kouhai.

"What if he likes you back? You wouldn't know, right?" Cathrine retorted back. [Name]'s heart skip a beat for a minute after she heard Cathrine's statement. "Yeah, I wouldn't. But it doesn't mean that you should push your luck" The girl said then got up from her seat, the plate is in her hands. She placed the dish in the sink then washed her hands, then, she went to the living room after that, Cathrine followed her.

"[Nickname], get yourself ready, we're going out!" The Dane beamed at her. "Wait, what?" [Name] asked the tall Dane, he only grinned. "We planned that all of us will be going out to the mall to have some fun, so please change your clothes" Lukas went to them and then explained to her, [Name]'s heart pounded when the Norwegian came near her. "O-okay..." She stuttered in her reply, although she hates stuttering because that will make her embarrassed.

The girl went upstairs then Cathrine smirked a bit. Emil was sitting on the couch while eating a licorice, she smiled then went to him. "Oh my gosh... Why did I stutter my reply to Lukas? Now I'm embarrassed..." [Name] said to herself as she searched for a dress to wear. After 5 minutes, she finally picked a dress. It was a [f/c] strapless dress with [second f/c] flowers decorating the whole cloth, and a white bow tie placed on the waistline.

She changed her clothes and then wore white 5 cm heels. The female combed her hair again and then tied it into [f/h]. She looked at herself in the mirror and then twirled around, a thought of Lukas complimenting her came into her mind, which, made her heart skip another beat.

[Name] went downstairs and then saw the others in their casual clothes. Matthias was wearing his long black coat with red cuffs, a red shirt and black tie, red pants, and brown boots, as well as a small black hat. Tino was wearing a plain lavender long-sleeved shirt, a brown vest over it, and brown pants. Berwald was wearing a plain black long-sleeved shirt, a dark blue tie, and matching black pants. Emil was wearing the W Academy's school uniform, which is dark blue plaid pants, a sweater vest, and a white shirt with a black tie.

Cathrine was wearing something similar to the W Academy's school uniform for females. But only hers is that she wore a white and blue striped skirt that reaches just above the knee, a plain white long-sleeved shirt with and blue striped tie, a dark blue blazer worn over it and was buttoned, and wore black Mary Jane shoes and knee-length white socks. [Name] sighed at the idea that her kouhai wanted to match Emil's clothes so you can say that they are paired.

And as for Lukas, he was wearing a plain white long-sleeved shirt with a black vest and also matching black pants. Once they noticed her presence in the room, they looked at her then Matthias grinned widely while Tino and Cathrine smiled. "So... Shall we get going?" [Name] asked them, and they nodded. They left the house, locked it then went their way toward the mall. The Nordics and Cathrine planned to celebrate [Name]'s birthday in the mall, but Lukas planned to surprise her later night.

Once they got there, they first went to a bookshop since [Name] requested, they bought some books and supplies. Then, they went to many different shops at either Cathrine's or [Name]'s request, the boys can't say no since it was her birthday. After that, they also played some games, and ride some extreme sites. But the most romantic time is when they watched a movie. Inside the theater, Lukas was sitting right next to the [h/l] [h/c]-haired girl.

Matthias was on Lukas' other side, then right next to the birthday girl is her kouhai. Next to Cathrine is Emil, which, she took advantage of. Next to Emil is Tino then Berwald. The movie was Alvin and the Chipmunks the Roadchip. They laughed while watching, but also had a romantic time. Like when [Name] and Lukas shared the popcorn, their hands touched for a moment that melted the girl's heart. Then there's Cathrine, she and Emil were also sharing popcorn.

Once the movie ended, they went home. "Thank goodness... We're home already..." Cathrine sighed in relief once the door was opened, she went to the sofa and then plopped down. Emil sat right next to her and then offered some licorice. "Thanks..." Cathrine got one piece then ate some. Tino was preparing the dinner, and Berwald helped him. Matthias was upstairs, in his room. And Lukas was nowhere to be found. "He's probably having a meeting with Arthur and Vladimir..." The girl muttered to herself as she noticed that the Norwegian was missing.

The soon-to-be 20-year-old female entertained herself by watching television. When 7:00 strikes, everyone gathered inside the dining room which [Name] notices. "Um... Guys, why are you all here?" The girl asked as she took a peek inside the dining room, she noticed that they were around the table. [Name] went inside then noticed that Tino was holding a large cake with 20 candles, the others looked at the birthday girl and they noticed her face brightened.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!" The girl placed her hands on her mouth as she said those words, she was almost crying in joy when she saw the cake. "Well, I thought that you would know that today was your birthday, but it seems that you are very busy at school that you forgot your own celebration" Matthias rubbed his head and then grinned at her. After a while, everyone said 'Happy Birthday' to [Name] as she was about to cry.

"You don't need to cry, you know..." Emil said as he crossed his arms then looked away, Cathrine snickered, and [Name] laughed a bit. "Thank you, everyone, for planning this for me. Although I was very busy that I didn't realize" The girl said. "It's fine, at least you had fun," Lukas said which made the girl's face flushed red. After dinner, everyone gave their gifts for her. The first is from Matthias, it was [f/c]-colored necklace.

The second is from Berwald, he gave her a wood miniature [f/flower]. Tino's gift was a picture frame with their picture in it, next is from Emil, his gift is a new set of art materials for her next book that she's going to make. [Name] was excited to know what's her kouhai's gift for her, it was a drawing of Cathrine and her. [Name] loved all the gifts they gave her, but there is still someone who hasn't given her a gift. Lukas' gift is a bouquet of roses with a letter in it, a heart-shaped box of chocolate, and a gold heart-shaped locket.

[Name]'s heart was pounding rapidly while her face was flushed red. She can't believe that Lukas, the Norwegian she liked, gave her the most romantic gift she could receive. It is like that Lukas was proposing to her, even though it was only her fantasy. "Happy Birthday once again, darling [Name]" The Norwegian said then gave her his gifts, the flushing girl accepts the gift and noticed Lukas smiled a bit. Even if it was only just a small smile, he still smiled.

"T-thank you, L-Lukas..." [Name] stuttered her response, it made her blush redder if it was possible. After the gift-giving, it was now 9 in the evening, and everyone planned to have a good night's rest. [Name] went to her room to change into her pajamas, after a while, while she was combing her hair, someone knocked on the door. "Come in" She replied, the door was opened and revealed a blonde Norwegian. "Hi [Name], how do you do?" The Norwegian asked.

"H-hey Lukas, I'm fine. I really love the gifts you gave me" [Name] replied. "Only the gifts?" He raised his brow as he closed the door. "Uh, um... Yes?" The 20-year-old replied her response with a question. "Oh! And also the letter..." [Name] said then looked down, a blush crept on her face. The letter that Lukas gave her is actually what he truly feels for her, now she knows that the Norwegian liked her back. "That's what Cathrine told me earlier..." She muttered to herself.

"I'm glad you loved the gifts and the letter, but is that only it?" The Norwegian said then asked again, now the female was confused. What else would she love after he gave his gifts, she thought for a moment then when her heart pounded rapidly, the idea came into her. She blushed a thousand shades of red, yet again. Lukas smiled when he saw the girl's reaction, he went to her then cupped her cheeks. The girl looked into Lukas' dull dark blue eyes.

"I love you, [Name]" Then, he kissed her passionately. The girl was shocked by his sudden action but returned the kiss, it only lasted for 5 seconds when she pulled apart. "Now, do you only love gifts and letters?" Lukas asked again, she shook her head. "I love you too" [Name] smiled and then kissed him yet again.

[breakingbobcat]

diary

okay. i think i'm ready to be more honest. i might be happy here. it's like prozac (not xanax <3). i don't have hi highs or lo lows. our only real problems are money for food and medicine.

and those are very real problems.

me and my shitty health. and roy is getting way too fat. he eats twice as much food as me.

so...yeah. real problems. i thought about that thing i saw:

when i think i've surrendered all i can, i surrender some more. i've seen plenty of miracles in my life. can i trust the god mystery? what does it want from me?

being with roy is like being alone together.

this isn't what i meant exactly...but i feel safe for now. and i don't trust myself.

i dreamed i saw gramma and uncle doug. i was so mad at mom for hiding them from me. gramma had alzheimer's or dementia, unlike real life, but she looked happy. lezlie laws said phil looked happy at the end. it was so distressing. i hope she wasn't lying.

next thing i know, i was talking in my sleep to doug. then it didn't feel like doug.

watching a murder show the other night, the lady said her dead daughter came to her in a dream. she didn't want to come back to earth because she was always scared here.

that hit. i'm tired of being afraid constantly. even when i was happier, i was always afraid. in fact, the happier i was, the more terror accompanied the good feelings.

sheer terror. very much icarus' wings. they teach us to be afraid. like pink floyd says: mother puts all her fears into you. but also, everyone. everyone is always telling you, even our myths, to be afraid.

and i am. why would anyone choose this? i am not even from earth. i'm from the pleiades. i can totally see me coming to this planet and being born to help people: mom and chris, with their becoming. i did my job...but why here? why earth? clearly they were already here before.

oh. old friends from other stars. they must've reached out to me for help.

roy finally got me to watch The Eternals with him last night. so stupid. so freaking stupid. it's just a mashup of older biblical and other cultural stories and rehashes other superheroes. it's basically hash browns half cooked. it was so fucking dumb. there was one line that stood out:

i don't ever want to come back here, one of them said. i guess that's a common sentiment these days...among Americans.

these feelings are like side-effects of the american experiment: blending cultures that have structure and purpose and context in such a way that people become a buffet sampling of stories that may or may not create stable people. i think our people are an interesting experiment, depression and suicide not withstanding.

things were always bound to get messy for humanity in general. the distances between us shrinking. and expanding. collision. social plate tectonics.

it would be nice to have a friend or two to talk to at times. perhaps.

i'm not proud of myself -- that's my main problem. i could live here and maybe i will keep trying to live. i have to solve my problem with myself though. i need to accept myself somehow...and grow. i've been too afraid.

resistant to any and all risks.

there are so many facets, so many "people" inside me. i'm lucky to have never fractured. i think that's where schizophrenia comes from: people disassociating so hard that their parts become whole and distinct voices and visions. people who can't accept all their parts.

studying them interests me. people. up to a point, and then i prefer animals.

i'm afraid of black magic. and the evil will of people i can't deal with anymore. people who need to remain in my past.

terrified of donald trump and his following, his mob, and his terrible cadre of evil henchmen.

ugh. i'm done talking.

[systemadministratorclu]

[Ultra Sunrise] - What would your muse stay up all night until the sun rose for?

For Milo and Rourke!

@the-haunted-office

Monster Flavors Meme

There's a groan from Milo and a snort from Rourke, both of them in separate chairs like guests on a talk show.

"Oh boy. So.....I actually have done this." Milo admits, "I think it's a requirement of college that you do this. A lot. So I can tell you it pretty much sucks. Especially for a twelve-year-old boy in classes with twenty-somethings. I did this a lot and I regret doing it. Got myself two doctorates by the time I was thirty, but......not worth the physical strain on a young body at all. I got sick a lot, probably from being so tired so often and not resting enough."

"I pulled all-nighters in the military, too," Rourke says, "Staying up keeping watch on battlefields or fighting straight through the night. And even when we were supposed to sleep in shifts, I couldn't. Not when every sound I heard could be the enemy ambushing us to kill us. I was tired a lot, but.....the idea that sleeping could mean not waking up does wonders for keeping one awake."

They both raise eyebrows, as if there's an unseen teleprompter or something giving them a message. Then it's Rourke who eagerly continues.

"But if I had to think of something I would WANT to stay up all night for: passion project. Definitely a passion project. The kind I get really into and have a lot of fun with. I kinda just lose myself in the project and my ideas and the work, and before I know it, the sun's rising on the next day. Like, I know I should stop, but I just don't want to, y'know? Its like-cliché as hell, but-there's a fire that gets lit in me and I just wanna keep going until I'm done because I'm so excited about what I'm doing and I'm so excited to see the end result. Heh, I'm like a little kid. I don't wanna wait. I want it now. I actually did this when I built the Doom Machine. Holy cats, now that was fun." He's got a big giddy smile on his face by the time he's done, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm and mirth, and he's just radiating his excitement and happiness and, well, passion for what he does. In fact, he's visibly restraining himself from continuing to ramble.

Milo is surprised.....and a little sad. He's never seen Ly-....Rourke.....look so excited and happy before. Milo is glad for him of course, but a little sad at something that he decides to keep to himself for the moment. This isn't the time or place. Besides, it's his turn to answer, though he feels any answer he gives is going to sound bland and boring after Ly-....Rourke.....gave such an enthusiastic reply.

"U-um......well, something that would make me WANT to stay up like that........i-if I got really into a book.....o-or a show or movie series.....I'd probably do it because I don't want to wait to see how the story ends. O-or......if I'm researching something really interesting.....I-I might stay up just trying to find out as much as I can......I did that when I was studying Atlantis. A-and when I was practicing coding and hacking.....I stayed up a lot, just trying to master one more thing......I don't really have much of an answer, I guess." He looks down sadly, embarrassed. Gods, his response sounded so generic and dumb. Was that really what he was like? Was he always so.......lifeless?

[frogsandfries]

I was going to say something, but I'm so tired, I don't quite remember what.

I think I was going to whine about how much I wanted that dumpster fire lamp from Tumblr, but fine, if I can't have it, I'll just throw it on my tottering pile of ideas that I have that I'll probably never get around to.

I really need to figure out how to.......... something with my sketchbook. Like, this probably isn't normal, but when I'm working digitally, since I can turn layers off, I will often work like three or more projects in the same document. It's kind of vaguely a little bit like having sections in a sketchbook, or if my sketchbook was in a binder, maybe shoving similar projects into one page protector.

But then of course, shit gets even more lost and buried than it would in a sketchbook, because instead of happening to flip past it while hunting for another project or a blank page, I have to remember the project with my brain, or be willfully hunting through my digital art program files.

On the other hand, the cool thing about working digitally is, I can make copies, change colors, erase and completely redraw. If I print out sketchbook "pages", sure, I can print out my studies or mood board or whatever, maybe that's a page or two, and I can print out any tentative patterns, in the case of beadwork. I can print out sketches and linework, but when do I hit print?

I guess that's the real question. When do I hit print? And then, where do I put my work? In a binder? I guess in a binder, I could use sheet protectors, and then maybe gather up any progress? Like, going from a sketch, when I'm drawing, to linework, to color. Or inspiration for a project, an original pattern when it's ready to bead up, and then any alterations when I've beaded it?

The thing I like about sketchbooks is, they're organic. You don't really curate a sketchbook. Cutting and pasting things into a sketchbook on purpose........ feels disingenuous? My logical brain knows that a sketchbook is whatever the hell I say it is, but my gut says this is not how to make a digital sketchbook a little more analogue.

But if that's not how..... then how??

Myself, personally, if I ever end up pursuing this, a) it'll be during a depression, b) I want to do it in a spiral bind notebook. Sketchbooks tend to have nice paper that will hold up to the weight of any added media, like more paper, and I can just tear out any blank pages as the sketchbook begins to bloat.

Another idea would be, I could PoD it. This really only works for collections that I've managed to get a good bit of pieces in. I wouldn't really want to do this for a book that wouldn't have a decent enough number of pages.

Maybe trying to make my digital sketchbook more analogue and accessible to my old-school brain is a dumb idea. But really, I can't describe for you the number of ideas I've had, scrawled into my tablet and they're just gone, poof! Buried fifty documents back, never to be seen again.

Whatever. I'm going to continue weaving Eeyore. Honestly, really, I should finish the neon triangles box..... Maybe I get more pizza. I'm just about food fatigued on pizza. Burjer? But if burjer, than chimkn nugg.........I vaguely want Jimmy John's......